How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?
I would like to not let fear of being out in the world and expressing who I am hold me back. I would like to let go of controlling others in my family and let them make mistakes and grow into who they want to be. I would like to let go of anger and focus on peace while bringing more joy into my life. I would like to amp up my weight loss and health journey. I heard Gavin Newsom say this in an interview "It is decisions, not conditions, that determine our future." I often wait until things are just right to take action, and most of the time, that "just right" time never happens. I will use the wisdom above to guide me this year.
I want to be happier. Ways to do this: Pause once a day to sense gratitude in my body, not just in my mind. Try saying: “Thank you, HaShem, for this moment,” even in small, ordinary times. Keep noticing how my work and relationships help others flourish.
Advice from Anushka F: Notice when things end. Getting in the habit of noticing this will make all unpleasant things seem less interminable, in addition to building concentration.
Prioritize rest and restoration. Sleeping, walking, journaling, reading, meditating, napping, gardening. Rest is RESISTANCE.
I've said this year after year, but I have to find ways to carve time out for crafting. Maybe more therapy will help me to stand up for myself regarding this. It's hard to be in business with my husband, as he works constantly and expects/demands the same from me. But I need my creative side to be fed so I can feel fulfilled, and build back my energy for work.
I’d like to be focusing on my business and writing consistently and with a plan for success. I’d also like to practice my Jewishness more faithfully.
Continuing chipping away at some of the small things. Keep working on responding better to Anya, keep her and Teddy the focus. That said make time for myself and my interests. Ride more real gravel, hike more, get faster/stronger. “Improvement is a battle that must be fought anew each day” - James Clear
As I turn 40 in two weeks, I’m focusing my efforts on redefining my relationship with technology for the next decade. I would like to “break up with my phone” over the next year. As someone who is biased towards being an early adopter with technology, I have both enjoyed and resented my dependence on technology. I spend around 6-8 hours/day on my phone/laptop. I’ve noticed how my attention span has deteriorated as a result. What’s more, I’d like to do the hard work of reworking my habits to technology before there are kids in the home. I would like to model a healthy distance to technology so that they can grow up protected from the detrimental effects of screens on their brains. I’m unclear the breadth of this work. Will this work encourage me to look at addictive tendencies as it pertains to technology (opening Instagram, watching porn, camming, reading news, scrolling on Tik Tok, etc.). My plan is to designate one or two rooms in the house where I can use my phone. Everywhere else in the house will be a "no-phone zone." My goal is to add friction between me and my phone. I also plan to finish the book called “How to break up with your phone.” Lastly, I’m going on a 8 day silent retreat at Spirit Rock over my 40th birthday and I will use this phone-free experience to be a “hard-reset” with my phone. On a separate note, I’d like to re-introduce dance classes back into my routine. I’ve always find dancing liberating and I’m hoping I can find somewhere to take dance classes in Marin.
Take more time for myself! Let go of some of my responsibilities. Exercise regularly.
To be present, embrace the tension between what is and what I want to be.
Work on my health and our house and career xx
I want to be less emotionally stressed. I find I’m extremely weepy lately from work and personal dissatisfaction. I don’t want to be in this space next year.
I hope to continue my quest for inner peace by gaining a better understanding of how my past shows up in my present, how to befriend my inner child that grew up in chaos, and how to accept and draw strength from past hurtful experiences instead of wanting to distance myself or shame myself. One piece of advice I carry with me always is from my mother who once sent me a card after I received a new job opportunity saying where you start is not necessarily where you finish - and that helps propel me and ground me at the same time.
Ha. I'd like to have performed stand up comedy by this time next year. Maybe have written some more lyrics. Continued to improve on the violin. Get the kitchen done, maybe. Played the violin in public. Read from the Torah competently. Ooh, learned to bench.
I would like to establish a realistic morning and evening routine, as well as a routine for ADHD medications so I can be more productive and as a result, feel more balanced in my day to day life. I have read Atomic Habits before and I need to finish my adult ADHD book, and there are a lot of gems in there to try out. I also started reading Financial Feminist and have made improvements in my money management, and would like to complete the book this year and continue implementing strategies from it.
I would like to figure out better what I need more of in my life, and what I really want. I'm not sure it's the same as it was before Greg died.
Next year, I want to keep learning how to live in alignment with who I actually am, not who I think I am supposed to be. This year was the first time I really began to understand myself clearly: my limits, my patterns, my wiring, my needs. I want to keep softening into that understanding instead of fighting it. I want to get better at pausing before I automatically say yes, and at recognizing when I am about to overextend myself. I want to create enough quiet in my life to actually hear my own thoughts before reacting to everyone else’s. I want to be gentler with my body, which has carried me through so much and is now asking me to listen differently. I do not have a single piece of advice guiding me, because advice has never fit me very well. It always carries someone else’s fingerprints. What guides me instead is a growing sense that I already know what I need, and that I have always known. I just have to stop pushing past it. I want next year to be the year I live by that knowledge.
Two categories of things. First, do everything I can to take care of my mental acuity: get enough sleep, exercise, eat healthfully, meditate, spend time outside. Second, focus my social time with people who make me feel good about myself. I have given that advice to Jacob ("don't choose friends who make you feel bad") and it's good advice for me, too.
Improve my Health - nutrition, hydration, movement, rest. Not just sleep, but taking time to just be present, in nature, with myself and with God.
I read this and it really struck me Anyone can apologize or promise to do better, but words alone mean nothing without follow through. Real change isn't about saying the right things in the moment, it's about consistently choosing to show up differently, even when it's hard. If their actions don't align with their promises, then those words were just a way to keep you waiting for a change that's never coming.
Last year, I said, "My colleague, Ron Hill, says "Decide who needs voice, provide that voice, and use it to make a better space." I would like to better figure out how to provide a voice to those who need it." Yes, I think there are continued opportunities to improve myself and I've said as much on other days (sadly, I'm having to answer this year's questions on the last day, as we had a manuscript deadline that prohibited my from getting these done during the yamim noraim). But I'm hard-pressed to think there's better advice than what Ron gave. Do it again, every year.
I want to keep on believing in myself. And I want to promote myself more. I’ve done that a bit and it had its result so I want to keep doing that. And I want to travel more.
I want to reverse my age clock by 3 years. A book on aging that says we don't have to accept being u health just because we are older
nature every day
Untether from the phone more. It takes as much as it gives.
This year I have really connected with the idea of abiding in Jesus. I want to connect deeper with Him on that.
In trying to deal with my son’s drug addiction, I learned to rely on my partner’s (a recovered alcoholic) wisdom and advice, as well as becoming involved in Nar-Anon, which is teaching me to work on myself, rather than trying to “fix” my son. And finally having a partner at this stage of my life, I’ve also learned how to become more open and honest about my own shortcomings and strengths.
I'm focused on my grip, which in percussion land is French, German, American, and Traditional. It's also a cosmic instruction: how may we hold tightly and loosely at the same time? How much or little control is needed in order to maximize the physics needed for the desired effect? When I was small my mother demonstrated how a handful of sand dimished when tightly held. I'm staying with that image.
Physically, mentally, living authentically. Life is a daily practice. Whether it's yoga, meditation, authenticity, spirituality, everything is a daily practice. Continue leaning in and listening. And be present. Be myself.
I need to figure out my own living arrangements. I don't know if I got great advice, but my own has been to trust my gut, act deliberately and thoughtfully, be honest, embrace what is. It's been an incredible year and I led my family through a really big transition. Keep the glow from EMDR. Every day is great.
I would like to lose weight, return to better sleep habits, find ways to talk to spouse, create embroideries and quilt projects which I feel proud of. Create some steps that i feel proud of. Return to being a people person and being less isolated.
Last year's was to consider going back to therapy. Maybe still that. I think also finding the ways in the world in which I'm not right and can learn from others and be open to that growth.
I need to work on improving my physical strength. I've become weak and shaky, and am feeling very old. This isn't how I want to be.
I don't know if it is an improvement but I think I want to continue to try (I have been trying this more lately but I often forget in the heat of any moment) to listen more and talk a lot less. I'd like to observe people more. Be more critical but also more patient.
Be a better mother. That's super hard. I'd say be a better wife but I think I'm already pretty good there. I can improve on being less micromanagey and bossy. Advice- I get the best advice from my friends, who are the best and help me be my best self.
I need more time in solitude. To sit quietly without listening to audiobooks and just let myself think. (This is necessary if I'm a poet anyway.) I would like to be able to schedule daily writing time and keep to a schedule that honored my writing time as important enough not to blow off whenever anything else came up (or whenever I felt like I needed to clean, visit my mother, make dinner for Renee, take care of the pets, see my daughter--just anything). I want to treat a writer's block as sacred nearly every day (at least five days out of seven). I also weigh about 130 since leaving the hospital for my blood transfusions earlier this year, which is about five pounds lower than I was last year. I hate making this a focus, but I would love to stay here or go down to 125, but I don't wish it enough to want to make diet a focus. I stopped drinking after the hospitalization as well, and I know that's good for me, and I already feel it in my face looking less puffy, so I commit to not drinking for one full year. I have received great counsel in many of my writing workshops, but no phrase is rising to mind. All of them remind me to write, to honor writing time!
Exercise more. Eat less. Maybe it's just getting older, but I don't want to eat as much as I used to. I've aspired and failed so many times, but one has o keep trying. Right?
I'd like to have less anxiety around connections with others. Maybe remembering to breathe is useful advice.
I want to keep better work-life boundaries this year, and I want to improve my focus and time management at work. I need to keep hobbies outside of my work and child, and I need to have things to look forward to and feel accomplished about. And, if I can improve my focus and time-management skills at job-work, it will help me in my home-work, too. I need to redirect myself quickly when I'm distracted and force myself to stop working on things that aren't my #1 priority at the moment. I remember Jake Zorensky (I think) and his tip about the literal and figurative highlight for the day. I should go back and read his book again. I think it was "Make Time."
I’d like to believe that everything happens for a reason and it is all for my greatest good.
I would like to spend more time doing things. As it stands, I'm at home much of the time and inactivity does little to improve my overall health and mental outlook.
I would like to build new routines, that happen to be good for me.
Someone in an unconventional yet very memorable situation encouraged me 'to do what I want'. The crux of the matter here is of course, determining what exactly it is that I want. And once I know, how do I get it and who can I ask for help in getting it. This is what I'd like to improve upon this coming year - getting better at figuring out what I want and knowing what to do to get it.
Keep active each day and don’t eat junk. Practice kindness and patience daily. Think positive thoughts. Send light to those we don’t like very much. We need to be the love we want in the world.
DO and BE. DO - get in the best physical shape and condition possible to preserve life and live optimally. Exercise and dietary attention can become an organic part of who we are if we pay attention and make it a habit and routine. BE - allow space and time to not be productive (but only sometimes) and be content with finding a life that harmonizes BEING and DOING - for both of us.
The advice that I would like to guide me is: "no one is coming to save me except myself". But I usually struggle with learned helplessness. I would like to improve my self-efficacy and my ability to self-sooth and problem solve. I would like to largely reduce my use of my phone - it has been my main source of avoidance of difficult tasks and feelings, and maybe I am coming to terms with the fact that I am not good with moderation in this area. I may not be able to engage with it in the same way as others. It impacts my mood, my anxiety, my jealousy, my ability to cope with difficult feelings about my life, and challenges in my life. Research shows that this is true. So I wish I would make a better, more-informed decision for myself. "Hope is action", so action builds hope, and hope feeds action. So my hope is that I use my phone less and self-sooth more. My action is to replace phone time with journaling, reading, movement(!), and connection with real humans in my life. Generalizing this, I hope to internalize a belief in myself in my ability to change with time and effort, instead of jumping to despair and helplessness and shame.
I want to work in a better bedtime. I did pull another late night bedtime last night, but not watching TV most of the time has severely helped me feel calmer and be more productive. I had to deal with myself more when I turned off the TV, but I do find that I will still feel the gaps with podcasts, which help me learn or entertain me and can be a form of avoidance or overwhelming myself at times. My friend Bess talks about praying in. My pastor says that prayer is anxiety turned outward, which has helped when I’ve found my mind spinning.
I want to stop and test my assumptions more when I am very upset by something. It's terrifying to face someone who is confirming a terrible fear, which is why I haven't regularly checked.... but usually that isn't true and they would be disconfirming it. I want to push myself with this because I think it will make me make less mistakes and hurt myself and others less. I also want to build physical stamina and strength!
Same as what I wrote last year: Lose weight and gain strength. Get my finances in order. This year I will add: I'd love to have less anxiety and panic that makes me procrastinate. I wish I wasn't obstinate, resentful and contrary when I have to do tasks - what they call Pathological Demand Avoidance. Tasks are not factually scary. Advice: Do what you want, don't mask, be yourself, don't feel guilty. Do the task when you feel the motivation, even if it's in the middle of the night. This year I add: "You can do things on your own, but that doesn't mean you should."
Communicate - if there is something on my mind that is bothering me, make sure I say it out loud to the person or to myself or to my therapist. Not addressing the issue just makes it worse. Improve my relationship. Fede and I had a rocky year and I questioned it a few times, but we worked through it and I love him. We say we need to build our life in LA/Weho together and set roots here, but that’s something that still needs some work. We do not have a new shared group of friends but making friends at this age is difficult. He gets back from Italy in 2 days and I’m excited to keep working on it. Rowing! Am I better at early roll ups? Did I figure out how to roll up with my fingers and not my wrist? Am I getting enough sleep?
I think my answer is the same as the last question - just do it, and start small.
I want to be okay with myself in a sense that I feel free to do what I want to do in the way that I want to do knowing the limits of that freedom and that sometimes what I want to do it may not be what I need to do
I would like to be a better listener, and not interrupt whoever is talking to me.
I think maintaining our current quality of life would be my goal. Frankly, doing more of what we are currently doing would be the way to improve. More exercise, better self care, more time devoted to family and my retirement projects would interest me most. As to advice, I think the advice I like the most is to be flexible, to be open to more experiences, to be more patient and less stressed out.
I want to get better at conversation. I want to find ways of diving into the deeper, more interesting things faster.
I would like to connect more deeply to my roots as part of the earth and the human family. I would like to expand my art and my stability. I would like to get divorced.
Today is better than last year's response. I want to continue to prioritize kindness to myself and others. I want to give myself breathing room.
The piece of advice that has been ringing through me all year is to "use what you have." It's especially challenging, in this era of the dopamine quick fixes and endless consumption, to remember that I already have enough and use what I have. I would like to really slow down my spending even further and when I do need to spend, to spend with those I'm happy to invest in as a presence I want to see more of in the world.
regarding avoiding 'toxic people' - be careful about defining 'toxic.' I realize when i feel dislike for someone, 'at' someone, my loving self is on pause. I want to keep it OPEN and ON.
Stay in touch with my body with my somatic wisdom. Balance it with EQ and IQ.
I would like to be more proactively connected with my long-distance (and close-by) friends again. I need to give that muscle some exercise.
I hope to feel deeper spiritual well-being. Faith in the goodness of the Universe is a big part of my spiritual foundation. I hope to lean into that faith. Also, my belief that everything is energy and energy is everything is another spiritual foundation for me. I hope to be more adept at staying in resonance with universal energy.
I would like to get more serious in studying to take citisenship, and to learn my husband's family language; I would also like to find the time to organise my house support so I can go back training, even if not as before, at least to maintain tone and be able to go to Nationals next year. The best advice received was from my favourite midwife, who told me to always trust my guts and to not listen to other people's opinion when raising my children. This has felt really validating, especially when dealing with my first newborn and all the critiques new mothers receive.
I want to be better prepared to accept loss. Loss of family / friends Loss of income Loss of health Loss of residency Loss of possessions Loss of safety In these uncertain times I want to be ready / better prepared to accept loss as a part of the changing cycle of life I want to embrace life. I want to appreciate my journey and my destiny as it unfolds. I am going to take a deeper dive into the stoic philosophies
Do less but do more in specific areas. Spend time with my son (if he will allow).
I.want to be healthy and fit and ensure I keep my family in good health as well. I want to move to another organisation. No advise received.
Lose weight and have more confidence. I just don't know how, especially the second part. I feel so alone and am pretty resigned to the fact that will always be the case. I know that's not helpful but how do I change it.
I would like to increase my finances x 2. I would like toreplenish my batteries through increased creative time. More exhibitions. To continue developing my multi media story telling through art. To be a greater parent through teaching autonomy, independence of thought, resilience and drive to achieve. Eat better food, more protein and raw foods. Eat slower. Less desire for sugar by allowing cravings to pass. Good rest when needed. To be fit and healthy. To be a supportive friend. To be a more affectionate and connected partner. To start teaching creative classes. Advice that would guide me: As Picasso said, inspiration will come, bit it's got to find you working.
Focus on joy instead of happiness to create a fulfilling life.
Jane Goodall said Hope is not passive, it requires action. I think that's pretty good words to live by, or at least keep me going in these dark times. Rebecca Solnit said if I were to live in the Middle ages, I would be an Irish monk. That's aspirational for me. So take action by tending my garden. and by garden I mean my community and my parks.
I want to work on really discerning people, and being more adept at not putting up with Bullshit earlier. I want to decide what a good man is, and find examples. If I’m going to build a happy life, I’ve got to stop allowing this in it. The “good man vs nice guy” advice from Matthew Mcconohaughdo youspellit. I mean there’s also the usual - exercise my body, eat better, stretch, pay off shit. That whole chestnut.
I want to expand my powers of patience. I am reactive to stress and frustration, and I'm starting to see the same behavior in my 6-year-old. I don't want her to struggle with managing her emotions and reactions as I have. I've been learning tools for calm and I am trying to model and teach them to her. I pay attention to the social emotional learning curriculum at her school and try to learn skills and cues along with her!
The advice is my own, actually: I invented the Worry Collective, where each person takes on one or maybe 2 issues & can let go of doomscrolling everything else. It's casual - people don't have to share what piece of the world they're caretaking or give up theirs because someone else chooses it. Everyone I tell is lightened by the understanding that we are not responsible for knowing, let alone fixing, every single problem,
Don't let anyone dim your light, and find the joy in everything.
I would like to bring more fun into my life. More creativity. More wholeness. More joy. More connectedness. To feel grounded. Trust your gut. Hashem guides you. Be still, listen.
To be more present, prepared and healthy. Eating better and moving more. The teaching of Colouring the Omer from Svivah. Associating colours, flower with life.
I want to be better at knowing what i need sensory wise and then communicating my feelings better.
I would like to be someone with normal day routine. My sleep pattern needs to change. That is the only way I could do more activities together with my husband. I got a wise counsel from my cardiologist to stop taking voluntary work so personally!
I would like to improve my time management and follow-through skills so that I have a better balance of want to and have to do activities.
Things are better for Dan and Ezra and for Peter and I. I want to build on these foundations so that I can participate more in fighting antisemitism.
I’d like friends. I’d like to be more active. I’d like to have more date nights with my husband and more time doing things with Evan.
Last year I said I wanted to be more decisive and less risk-averse. I've made some progress in that area, but most of it has been helped by other people, and I'd like to make that more internal. Basically at this point I'm striving to "do things for the plot."
Advice to guide me: " find patience in your heart" Keep slowing down. Be patient. Allow space between the impulse and the response.
“You cannot pour from an empty cup”
I would like to procrastinate less. To live by the just do it ethos. Not to hold myself back from getting something done because my mind focuses on too much possibility, too much complexity. I'm would like to shed this inhibition, at least to a degree. I also would like to be better organized, and simplify possessions and paperwork, desk, etc. I am increasingly having difficulty finding things and need a plan of action to mitigate this.
My boss taught me the "Let Them" theory by some famous speaker/psychologist. The idea is focusing on what you control by reframing in your mind how you process the actions of others. For instance, "let them slack off. I will focus on my own work and maintaining that" or "let them cut corners. I hold myself to certain standards and their actions don't affect me." It's something I think about, but I haven't been as good at using it as I'd like. I want criticism to fall off my shoulders, while only maintaining the constructive aspects. I don't want to feel everything so personally.
Get more connected to chosen ancestors in addition to biological. Create the counsel and add them to my altar. Allow this to guide me in whatever way makes sense. Take my creative practice seriously and consider how to let it be seen by people beyond just me. Not bc it’ll change anything, but bc it can be delightful.
Like most people I want to be healthier and more successful. I saw a quote by George Eliot, "It is never too late to be what you might have been."
I would like to improve myself and my life by working on being more compassionate and doing more small acts of kindness #resistance. The counsel and advice I received this year came from the book "The Parable of the Sower" by Octavia C. Butler. 1. God is Change 2. Adaptability is survival 3. Shape God 4. Community is essential 5. Kindness eases Change 6. Embrace responsibility 7. Learn from the past
I would like to continue to move from ignorance to wisdom, quieting down and listening more; relaxing my body and smiling more; expressing gratitude each day, and facing my inner emotional and physical pain with enthusiasm (and tears). There is so much counsel I receive each day from physical teachers, written words, and the natural world. One piece: I am not this body, I am not this mind. ... I would like to glow with the inner light that is within me and to be a beacon for others.
I started making notes for a letter I’d like to write to my family about what is important to me, how I’d like them to care for me at the end of my life, and how I’d like to be remembered after I’m gone. I was advised this year that there is no time like the present to write this letter and that it’s a fine practice to share it with my family when it’s ready, rather than seal it up for them to read after I die. This is a project I hope to complete in the coming months.
Sadly, same answer as last year. More patience with both family and friends.
This too shall pass. It's just, most people think that means 'this' will pass and they will return to the same place, and that isn't true at all.
It's always the same: I want to do so much and it all costs money and I get frustrated. I want it all. I want to stop feeling envy. I want to let go of my upset at my financial situation. I want more time. I want more freedom. I just want to putter...do all the things to keep my home nice and peaceful; spend time with friends that doesn't feel like it's squeezing in.
I feel this year I have been on the right track, finally finding ways to improve my health that actually worked, but I am not completely out of the woods yet. I still need to do some progress on certain aspects of my gut health and am due for the testing of my hormones and blood markers to see where I stand and how to take my next steps, so this is the first way I want to continue improving myself this upcoming year: doing what I know needs to be done to feel better. I also know that for these actions to work I need to cover my basics, to nurture my sleep, my diet, my exercise routines and my social interactions, all of which have dramatically improved in the past year too. Having S as my coach has also been more helpful than expected in building good habits and making the changes I want to implement. Small changes that take my closer to the big changes I want to make are more efficient and less scary, so this is the current strategy. Also getting out of the house more and seeing friends more often has been a massive one for me this year and I want to make sure I continue on that track.
The most important thing in life is communication and really isn’t that what I’m trying to do with everything creative and language wise? To really dedicate myself to that outlook
I do have a goal of getting to Australia which has been a lifelong dream that I have put off for many years. I was looking at last year's answer, and I had said I wanted to learn oil painting. That is something I have completely forgotten about in the past year. It's at low end of priorities though not entirely ruled out.
Less screen time. I am at 8.5 hours a day. Surely there are things I can do to drop the number to even 5 hours a day.
Be more kind to others and to me. Really embrace: Pyrrho’s philosophy later became known as Pyrrhonism. This philosophical movement is, at its heart, about the ultimate suspension of judgment in one’s life. It obviously didn’t talk about denying that things exist, as some mistakenly assumed while trying to dissect Pyrrhonism. That is far from true. It was about acknowledging that our senses are tricky to be trusted. Additionally, our reason is always limited, and therefore, we can never truly grasp the world’s true nature. Not be a know it all and take this into consideration when judging others who think stupid things.
I would like to continue the work of self differentiation that creeps back in when I visit home. I would like to continue to improve and explore my spirituality, and find the tender places in myself that need to be tended in order for me to show up fully as myself. I want to learn to love myself so much that I don't compromise when the offerings from others are the bare minimum.
That’s complicated. I am always a work in progress and that will continue. I need to find a work personal life balance that is good for both while maintaining our finances
I am improving myself by losing weight. Hopefully, by the summer I will have gotten to my goal weight — 150lbs. Also, improving my mind, diligently reading through a pile of about 15 books daily. When I’m done with this first pile, I will start another. 9/29/2025 /6 Tishrei 5786 Drink more water! The approach is taking a bite size approach. Just a couple of pages a day from each book— it adds up. A step by step guide to everything. Take a bite out of something. A bin of laundry. And sweep the floor. Nothing has to get done instantly. Hang up the clothes. A daily journal entry. Listen to music. Keep track of that which you love. Down to 215.9 I’ve lost 105 lbs. 65 more pounds to go.❤️🕊️🧘🏽♀️💃💯🤭🤩🎉 Happy forever!♾️
I think the best piece of advice I have seen or maybe motto is “no revenge because rotten fruit will always fall” People can really suck and hurt you but all that matters is how I carry myself and act. I would like to get to a point where I am no so deeply bothered and annoyed by people actions that directly hurt me and impact me.
Really pay attention and give respect to the things and people and activities that make you happy and make you feel good. Release the temporary fixes, the dopamine blasts, and feel-good mechanisms if they are superficial. Less screen time, more hands-on living.
I’d like to have more patience and feel a greater sense of peace. Retirement so far has been fabulous but I hope to continue journaling, meditating, and focus on overall well being to rise to the best version of myself.
I would like to feel less self consiouse about what others think and about just generaly how i exist in a room.
I don’t want to repeat myself by talking about admin, so I’ll focus on personal goals. I want to write more. I’d definitely like to take another shot at proposing a 33 1/3 book (this one about the Murphys). I focus so much on my career and taking care of whatever my wife needs as she finishes her PhD that I neglect things I want to do. I want to write more essays and propose a book.
I wish to be less fearful to be myself at all times. I want to be more willing and able to express my emotions both in and out of therapy sessions. I plan to become a competent Bachata and Salsa dancer to be able to meet and date some of the women and have some spontaneity in my life.
Stop listening to partners and other people when they say they know how and what I am thinking and feeling, and when they don't listen to me when I tell them. Stop allowing others to dismiss and marginalize when I share or state something accurate about myself or an observation. Stop explaining myself. Fuck them. Control freaks. I need people around me who either support me and even though we disagree they don't need to "win" at all costs, or they have to be right. I do not want this anymore. I'm find having discussions about things when a friend or my partner has a different opinion or experienced something differently and apart from me. I don't need people to agree with me, but I do need them to not be shitheads and be dismissive fucks. I need to walk away from those people anymore.
Do things and not be lazy and go to bed earlier.
The class, giving by Michael Strauss, Journeys of Becoming, has focussed me on my 'legacy'. Made me think things that are important to me: my values, my circle of friends, my impact on others. I would like to be more aware of my situation and do what I can to help others. The advice is: 'If you admire someone, you should tell them; otherwise, people never get their flowers when they can smell them.' Plus, continue to clean out one thing each day. See other answers.
I want to be less stingy with my students - food, treats, more positive feedback. I'm inspired by something I read in the Yom Kippur makhzor this morning: Let my hands overflow with Your blessings. I always talk about giving away my lottery winnings, should I ever play and win . . . well, the fact is that I won the lottery in life, so it's time to start overflowing with those blessings. Yes, I'm worried about retirement, but I'm doing what I can for that. Rabbi Shira's 10% rule is one I should be following.
I would like to have more trust in God and honor my father life through the way that I live mine. I’d like to take care of business with my tax situation and with my health. I’d like to be helpful to other people and be the blessed that’s called to be a blessing. Do the next right thing. Have faith and grow! Trust God, more every day and every way. Even when I don’t want to.
This feels the same as Q6. Keep working on myself. Work to fix my chronic pain. Take care of my body and my skin and my hair and my health. Be on my phone less. Take breaks from social media. Don't clench my jaw. Enjoy the present. Don't work too hard. Work hard enough to keep my job. Read books. Wake up early.
Im going to answer now but hopefully I’ll have some great insight and come back to this. Hahaha. I would like to continue to increase my level of social activity and going into the office for the monthly meetings. I can’t say im socially anxious and I hesitate to describe myself as socially lazy but I may, in fact, be socially lazy!! I back out of social engagements less frequently but still more often than I’d like. I have to remind myself that I don’t have to ‘carry’ any conversation, I don’t have to be super outgoing and I don’t have to stay for hours and hours. I’d like to look back on this answer next year and smile and recognize that I’ve done this.
Learning some new skills on dancing, fine arts. New cinema projects. Travel more abroad. Activism. Waking up early. Be kind to each other.
Newly retired, I am now pursing activities that strengthen my mind, body and creativity including taking classes through rec and park, and 3 informal groups I’m in to play mahjong, poker and art with conversation.
I think something that could vastly improve my life is getting better at single-tasking and minimizing distractions. As an Enneagram type 3, I’m driven by achievement and always want to find ways to get more things done. I think, paradoxically, perhaps trying to do one thing at a time would actually help me get more done overall.
I'd like to have a better relationship with my daughter. I'd like to be happier with my life as it is. I'd like to feel freer to be myself without fearing others' judgments. I'd like to stop seeing so many reasons to resent a certain ethnic group that seems to be taking over in my area. I can't think of any advice that has or can actually make a difference for me.
I started back up doing a lite exercise regiment. That seems to be going well. Working up from 15 min to 30. I need to work in sit-ups to keep the back healthy. I am keeping in touch with old friends. It is fun to talk about the past. A friend once said to me… “if not you… then who?” And “Pay it forward” (I start one of my science clubs today.)
I want to be more present in the moment and less distracted. It is important that I give the people around me my full attention and do not distract myself. Reduce distractions and when I notice being grabbed by them, stop it.
Increase my positivity
I simply want to remain more present. I want to spend more time being disconnected virtually and connected personally, right in front of me right where I am.
I love 10Q, but I am, again, not into the idea of focusing on "improving" oneself and would love this question to be reworded. I think it is useful to set goals for life and self, but sometimes the deeper work is about accepting oneself and finding our strengths that are here with us and not ideals we need to fit for societal expectations. "Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good." This time next year, I am interested in feeling grateful for blessings and abundance in my life and all my efforts towards being good and helpful in the world.
Another question I always struggle with, and which I'm slightly questioning as I come to this year's answers. I feel like there's always such an impetus in our lives for self-improvement, which can make you feel like you're not good enough as you are (or at least it makes me feel that way). And, yes, I think there are areas that most of us could improve on, but it's hard (if you're me) not to take this question as a bit of an implicit criticism. I also feel like I'm running out of ways to say the same thing - that I want to be fitter, happier, more productive in the workplace, etc. I think for a lot of people, the best way to improve ourselves and our lives is to accept who we are and what our perceived limitations might be, and to find ways to live with and work around them rather than batter them into submissions. I was looking back at answers to this question from previous years and one year I had a litany of things I wanted to improve like being more organised and prepared and so forth. It reminded me of the time that my boss told me I should dress for the job I want and that I was too scruffy to be taken seriously. I never changed the way I dress - not really, anyway, I still think I'm on the scruffy side - and here I am, in a more senior role than she was when she gave me that advice. So my way to improve myself and my life is not going to be to get fitter or to do anything that would make me in any way a "better" person, but to accept myself for who I am. I will probably always be a bit scruffy. I'll probably always tend towards being a bit stressed and anxious. I'll probably always end up spending my time on the "wrong" things (eg looking at social media when I could be reading a New Yorker article). I'll probably always be a bit defensive and overthink things and take things too personally. So how about I accept that and just look for mitigation rather than relentless self-improvement?
More meditation. More time off.
As I’ve been immersed in caring for my husband’s health, so many friends have told me that I must take care of myself too. This is still one of the hardest things for me. I’ve renewed, after a several-month pause, going to regular mediative yoga sessions twice weekly. I’d like to find other ways to nourish myself and experience more joy to replace anxiety I’ve felt. It’s hard to know where to start. Much is written about reconnecting with childhood playfulness but as my childhood was so painful that doesn’t help me. Just having fun is difficult. When I was younger, dance was one way I could but my aging joints haven’t inspired me to dance. So, I’d like to give myself space to find what is simply playful and joyous for me.
i want to feel more content with myself stop with the comparing myself to others in the worst ways only do whats good for my mind and body "everyday is all there is" (and on my answer last year- keep working on it punk... you haven't gotten there yet)
I'd like to be more proactive and less reactive - meaning, that I'd rather try to stay one step ahead of life's necessities so that I don't feel overwhelmed. This will allow me to be more intentional, making sure to do the things that I want to do - for instance, planning summer camping and rides in January, getting all the boring necessities done during the week so I can dance, make art, or do other more interesting things on the weekend. I want to run more regularly - at least 3 days/week - to make more time for hiking with Rebecca - to go kayaking with Nathan.
Continue to use a more relaxed, open posture. and Smile more!
I think this ties into my previous answer about Queen Maeve's tomb in Ireland and removing my food issues. Life is very short and I don't want to waste any more time.
I would like to greatly improve my ability to be patient, especially with my wife.
One valuable piece of advice I received was to stop "switching"—to move away from multitasking and instead focus on doing one thing at a time, and doing it well. It's a simple shift, but it's made a noticeable difference in my focus and peace of mind. Another insight came from Tracey who encouraged us to be intentional about the activities we choose each day. For example, she challenged us to consider how we start our mornings. Do I begin my day with the news? I realized that doing so often triggers a negative physical and emotional response. It reminded me how important it is to protect my energy and choose wisely what I allow into my day, especially at the start.
I think my biggest improvement would be to work on being more mindful in my daily habits and actions, and also to take time to care for myself (self care isn’t selfish, it’s critical). I’ve realized these areas of improvement in the therapy and self work I’ve done this year, and my goal is to now make it more of a true practice.
I promised my kids I would work on being more patient. I promised my husband I would work on being more present. I am promising myself to push for progress personally and professionally while trying, trying, trying to be gentle with myself. I will probably spend a little time in the coming days mapping out some specific goals, and realistic ways to achieve them. This isn't just because I love lists (although I do love lists). I was in a meeting today where someone offered a quote I've heard before, but hadn't heard in awhile: "A march without a plan is just going for a walk." The quote is about activism, but certainly feels like it's good counsel for life, too. I don't just want to say "things will get better," I want action steps to make it so.
It's cliche, but I really want to lose 10-15 lbs and get back to weighing 138-140. Losing the weight is possible. For me the challenge is finding a way to keep my diet more consistent once I'm at a lower weight. I'd also like to exercise more on the weekends. Haven't had any advice for making these changes, but maybe I could look some up.
Build strength. This will be my mantra. Build physical strength by doing PT exercises and riding the recumbent bicycle regularly. Build spiritual strength by going to the mikveh monthly, lighting Shabbos candles weekly and going to Shabbat Services monthly (at a minimum.) Build relationship strength by sending a text to a friend or family member daily -- even if only a emoji. Build ADL strength by focusing on one goal for every 21 days. Build financial strength by finding ways to cut spending. Build strength of adventure by visiting one new place each month. Build Torah strength by reading Rabbi Sacks commentary and one Torah.com essay weekly. May I be able to say "Yasher Koach" to myself next year.
Better self care can take many forms. I want to start new habits, like daily moisturizing, stretching with intention, and getting more outdoor time year-round. Taking showers daily, changing clothes regularly, making sure 95% of my days involve at least 10 minutes of fresh air. My therapist calls it a Process Improvement Plan - setting realistic goals and sticking to them. I will write down 5 goals and hang them next to my desk and start there.
I will be 40 by this time next year. The theme for my year is "downshift". I am inspired by this quote: “But what if your purpose is simply to build a good life? To raise kind children. To cook a little better each year. To read a few excellent books. To notice the seasons. To build meaningful relationships. To help others. To give time - and money if you can - to causes you care about.” - Pamela Clapp This is what I want to focus on for the next year. I no longer want to chase status or money or trends. I want to slow down and nourish the things that I have. I want to better acknowledge my feelings and work through them.
Work more on connecting with myself, my body, and my emotions as it's safe to do so. I know my disconnection of myself is getting in the way of creative endeavors and it sucks for me. I enjoy being creative and not getting to be drains my spirit
I would like to follow my own inner compass more often, and calibrate more on my own feelings than the feelings of others.
“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” -Dr.Jane Goodall, DBE 1934-2025 "Don't tell me what you believe. Tell me what you do because of what you believe." Verna Dozier
Same as last year -- I would like to be stronger and more athletic. I have made a commitment this year to reduce my substance use, which I am hopeful will improve the results I get from my training.
Yesterday I FINALLY realized how much happier and more relaxed I am when I don't think about and modify how I act to make other people comfortable by acting how I think they expect I should- mannerisms, facial expressions, small talk, etc. It's exhausting! (I also Googled "masking behavior in women" for the first time.) Because I've worked so hard to have the job and friends and community where they like and appreciate me for my own weird self, I bet it's actually unnecessary. I'm looking forward to finding out how unnecessary it's been the whole time. I am optimistic.
Oh honey. You know how. You want to be more active, don't rely on motivation and just DO. Don't hide from the shadow work. Move through stagnancy and share my fucking words. Everything else will fall into place accordingly.
Move more, stretch more, have a better sleep hygiene. Actually go to the doctor regarding feeling weak and losing hair. Most of all - connect, find easiness in everyday, make your growth and ambitions more airy, less challenging.
To really listen to my inner voice and trust it. For example, as I mentioned in the previous question that I really want to go down the route to being a therapist. This is something that I considered for several years already but now I'm just acting on it. I like to improve by listening to that inner voice when it speaks to me. It's the sincere me, and it makes me feel confident. In addition, continue to be kinder to myself. I know I'm deserving of love and I have a lot to love to give, but I need to be patient and sit with the uncomfortable feeling of possible heartbreak as a result of putting myself out there and dating. I can't be avoidant of this because I rather attempt to make a connection than withhold myself. Also, saying yes to more social events of people that I'm not so close with. I think that's a beautiful thing about connections, sometimes it might not be instant, but with the time you can build on it. It doesn't mean that I need to be friends with everybody, but by having a diverse social circle, I think you can bring a lot of interesting characteristics out of myself, and you never know who those people know.
spend more time investing into work and less time socializing. i think i've finally entered that era. kinda tired of socializing.
I have regular small epiphanies this last year. One is that as my husband is dying and when he dies, I can go in two different directions. I can never recover, turn into an alcoholic which id say would be v easy for me as I've had those tendencies to deal with hard emotions, or I could go the balanced way. I am trying so hard to be balanced right now, even though I feel guilty because I get to exercise and eat well and play music and he gets to do nothing, and it's unfair and I'd trade places in a second with him. But I can't. I only have this body and this mind. In the next year I want to remain steady and stable for my dying husband, even when he's at his worst, I want to be able to bring him peace and not constant crying, and I want my body to be stronger and my mind. I'm working on it right now. I notice when I'm doing a regime of strength training, I automatically eat better and drink far less and can cope with more. So this is how I improve my life and hopefully it will benefit my husband in his time of need. As for everything else, I will leave friends behind as I've already done. It is callous im sure, but the majority don't have what it takes to be solid friends during my time of real desperate need and in turn, o don't need the anger that accompanies let downs, or having expectations go unmet, which they can't be. My friends are all parents now, with young kids. I do understand they have commitments. But there's nothing like your husband dying when you're still young, to show you don't have a community or real friendships around you. This time next year I want to have shed what doesn't serve me right now, and I always hated that phrasing, but I am actually in a time of need and this is my life's tragedy, my husband dying after we only met just over 3 years ago and married this year. Yeah, it's something I don't think I'll ever get over and my friends can't possibly understand. So this time next year after everyone or most not all have said shit like let me know what I can do (which is always hollow) or "here for a chat" when I don't wsnt my entire life to be cancer and care, I want to leave those friends behind without guilt and either cope on my own or find out if anyone could possibly step up to help us during this time.
Making time for self-care. Making time to find ways to maintain my home, to keep clutter at bay, and to keep focusing on my financial health. The advice I would think of was that being in the present, enjoying the present moment, brings me more joy than living in anxiety or fear.
I would like to continue to get stronger, maintain this healthier weight, and be able to ride a bike again. I know there are all kinds of physical challenges that will come my way, but want to feel I have done what I can to extend my healthy, able bodied time on earth.
I no longer want to improve myself except to the extent that I learn to think I am good enough as I am. At 65, self-acceptance is the new self-improvement.
I'd like to focus more on myself and my relationships with people I truly love and value - I need to feel more like an autonomous person who is worthy of those relationships, not just a mom who has relationships with people (children) who need her.
Quiero mejorar mis relaciones en general. Quiero que me conozcan porque nadie puede amar lo que no conoce. Y quiero darme a conocer sin dejarme ir sin ninguna protección, también quiero respetarme. Me está costando trabajo escribir esto porque percibo una contradicción: no me abro y me entrego demasiado. Espero mucho de la gente sin llegar a conocerla realmente.
Truth is, I always know how to be better. Will I, is the question. My advice would be to stop procrastinating. That, and sell everything and get the fuck out of this insane life. I probably will abide neither of these. It would be nice to find the switch in my brain that needs to be turned on. I feel like that’s all it is, a chemical imbalance, fixable with the right wrench whack. Maybe find an expert? It ain’t logo, it’s physical.
I create my own misery by not accepting reality as it is right here, right now.
OMG, LOSE MORE WEIGHT!! You're down 30 pounds already. Continue that trend! (I say as I just finished a bowl of Rocky Road Ice Cream with whipped cream topping.)
The other day, my step-kid did her Meyers-Briggs prompting me to look up mine. In the detailed results, it showed that I was 98% “Joyful.” They really struck me, because I have such a tendency to veer into negative self talk and thinking, and moodiness. It made me realize that the true essence of me, and what draws others to me, is that Joy. And I have a choice: I can embody that and project it to the world, or let the negative forces win. I choose joy - that’s who I am, really deep inside, and what I want to give to others.
Eating with mindfulness (meditating before I start, eating three bites at a time with full attention on the experience and taking five minute breaks in between the three bite series), and respecting, befriending the part of me wants to eat to check out of life for a break with emotional eating - from my incessant pressure to achieve something that makes me worthy? a break when I don't often give myself a break or treats or pleasure? Is it the displacement of a fight with an authority that I can't win in my larger life so I will "win" it with eating and the mentality "you can't tell me what to do!" Advice: think about these things outside of meal time because by the time I eat, it's fraught.
Be prepared. That's the advice and counsel. I can see where the world is going and I need to prepare my mind and heart to know, more truly, that God is in charge. Nothing escapes Him. I need to know that as I keep an eye on what's going on in the world. He expects me to do all that I can and He will help with the rest. I can prepare my home by having a generator that gets tuned every 2nd year, making sure my appliances are cared for and growing a garden. I can also have a water supply. I can rotate my food supplies, especially those in the freezer. I can prepare by having proper clothing for the seasons, medications and other necessary things. I can take care of my vehicle and make sure my gas tank is always at half full if not full so that if we have to leave fast, we can. I need to have my 72-hour kit ready to go at a moments notice, too. We've had two incidents where we've had to leave quickly.
Breathe. Just breathe.
In contrast to my answer to #6, the achievement question, I have progressed in my written intentions for emotional growth, self-compassion, and more happiness in my life. Acceptance, letting go, letting myself be happy, loving my shadows and my darkness. So I'd like to share the self-improvement softness with the achievements department! Ha! Seriously, I seem to do better with deepening themes than with hitting targets or predicting numbers. Poor me, suffering such high goals. But are they though? This is the particular landscape of my anxiety, perhaps: the mismatch of expectation and ability, and my dissatisfaction with that difference. It’s a good area to improve. I can fine-tune any aspect. Lower expectations. Sharpen abilities. Decrease the mismatch between them. Maybe then I improve my attitude of dissatisfaction. I do not know how to work on this exactly, but I can start asking questions. I want to improve as a witch. That's what this is. That's a big part of what I am learning with Dallas. I am extraordinary, a witch, an artist, a sensitive. Absurd. Psychic Frank says it is a miracle I can function in the physical world at all.
Rather than self-improvement, I would like to take better and more loving care of myself: physically and emotionally. And the things that I wrote last year about my marriage are unfortunately still true.
i learned to authentically be me but also modulate for those around me. Not so they'll like me, but so i can also give them the feeling of belonging and inclusion. I'll be continuing on that journey as `i walk into new spaces.
Not that I don't need to improve, because I always do, but at this very moment I want to express that I am really proud of where I've been and where I am now. I am always trying to improve. Building myself back up after a down, being the best daughter, partner, friend I can be. This year was full of really beautiful growth and I think its time I love myself and acknowledge that.
The improvement I seek is to be a nasal breather. This should help get rid of this foggy feeling. The counsel I would give myself is focus on the solution not the problem.
“It’s not that loneliness is holding you back. It’s that they didn’t fight for you and that’s why you’re not over him. And you should be.” “It’s his opinion not your truth” I had a break up last year before Thanksgiving that came (mostly) unexpected. While I knew he distanced himself a month before actually breaking up with me, the things he has said to me during the break up came out of left field and still haunts me to this day. But i have to remind myself that he was maybe overwhelmed or projected onto me, and that what he says about me doesn’t mean it’s right. I want to take away those negative and empty thoughts and turn them positive. When you feed your mind trash and bad thoughts, you feel like trash. I want to manifest good energy and begin loving myself .
More exercise. Better foods. I let everything go when i became a caretaker
I would like to focus on what helps me, rather than what helps others. That might sound very selfish, but if I am in a good space, take good care of myself, then I am more able to support others. I want to learn to say "no" more, but also "yes".
I want to be kinder
I MUST SPEND LESS TIME ON MY PHONE. It is such a small thing, but somehow I think this one change would unlock all this other stuff: more time for reading, contemplation, better focus. I really really want to do this and the time is now, Self!
I want to get 7-9 hours of sleep a night regularly. And learn to accept myself as I am and treat myself as I would a close friend.
By this time next year, I'd like to feel like I've made some progress in establishing boundaries for myself, to allow myself the time and focus and permission to be a creative being and take up space in the world. Mishell Baker said, "By respecting yourself and demanding your boundaries be respected and your needs met, you can heal yourself enough to stop resenting others' happiness, stop thinking 'me first,' stop living in selfish desperation."
I'd like to soak up as much time with my kids as I can. They are so close to finishing high school and will be gone soon. Naturally, they don't want to spend a lot of time with me, which is OK, but I'd just like as much as I can reasonably get, doing fun things together and having topical conversations and stuff. (If I eat well and exercise, I might be more pleasant to be around and they'll be more willing to hang out.) No specific advice or counsel - I've gotten lots of little hints here and there, mostly to try to enjoy the present and stuff like that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
What's meant for me won't pass me by. I work so hard. At everything. I work and I study and I try to learn every last thing I can about any given aspect of my life. And while this determination and commitment has a beautiful aspect to it, I would love to shift into more of a yielding mode. I have worked hard enough for many years. To let my path become clear vs forcing it to show itself. I want more rest, play, and receiving.
Becoming healthier and rolling back, the aging would improve my self and my life next year. Becoming a better dancer would be going that direction one piece of advice, recommends practice outside of the class time. Tapering off sweets, even monk, fruit and reducing my A1c could add to my life. Adhering to regular bedtime and wake up time ranks right up there with drinking more water to feel better and better and better every day in every way
Present-mindedness and simply making a better sense of my energy so that I am using it to truly serve my goals rather than draining me.
I'd like to be more compassionate, less defensive, and flat-out enjoy life more. It's not getting longer, there is plenty to worry about. But there is so much beauty and it is a gift to be embodied, to be alive. I want to honor that with experiencing more joy and awe.
Small incremental steps day by day. Don’t try to shoot for the moon try to make gradual improvements and be consistent.
Finishing those certifications would have a profound effect on both my income and my self-image.
Learn when and who/where to expose yourself… by this i mean who you can be emotionally safe with with truths about yourself. Physically, make sure you use that gym membership you are paying for to get to the physical goals you have
I'd like to continue and enhance my work at improving... from a health perspective, eating right, exercising right, striving for balance in it all... making the moments count.. finding the moments, making times to cherish. The advice to self is ... be positive.. keep going.. the direction is right.. don't lose sight.. keep at it.
My focus this year is learning to rest in places where I'm not in control, not trying to change that and not avoiding the feelings. Just being with the discomfort and anxiety and frustration. I'd like to feel relaxed and present in those spaces, maybe even learn to enjoy them!
I think that if I can get a good handle on my anxiety then I'll be so much better. I want to be calm, cool and collected in all situations. I'm always nervous for some reason. I have been working on getting rid of worrying (because the advice is that worrying is just wishing for things that you don't want to happen) and knowing that I cannot control everything. I can only control my behavior. One thing that's been helping me is to meditate regularly. Another thing that always helps is to get a lot of exercise, where I'm completely sweaty after a workout.
I am a year past my second hip replacement surgery (bionic woman). The relief from pain has been an incredible experience, and I'm now a member of a gym, working with a trainer for overall strength. While I still fall into the "obese" category, I have lost significant weight over the past few years, and I am not as focused on that as I am on general strength, balance, and well-being. I want to continue on this path. Another thing I want to do involves de-cluttering both home and office. I have a paper problem, and it can feel overwhelming. But I seek clearer, more soothing surroundings.
Comfortable in my age and current skin Allow past to exist and inform without longing or trying to be that person Break molds and live as ME
know that you'll always be improving so keep choosing you & practices/beliefs/learnings that has positively impacted you & you're golden. nothing more to add, just keep doing you!
I would like to forgive myself for all of it. I would like to let go of any ill feelings I might have for the things that are unforgivable by others. There is nothing that I've ever done that isn't forgivable.
Lighten up! Celebrate! Gather and eat delicious food together! Sing and dance against the sad darkness that has descended on us here in America. Hopefully we will not be in active civil war, in armed camps. Hopefully we will not be in concentration camps. Hopefully we will vote out the insanity that has rested democracy from us and threatens our constitutional rights. The Ukrainians don't give up hope or light or art or celebration. They show us the way to resist with grace, gratitude and love of one another. May we walk in the light, now and always.
PLAY. In every interpretation of the word, never stop being a child. Be curious and playful and don't give a shit, just be, don't worry, just live. People are so worried about everything, about how others see them, about the state of the world, about the future, about who they're friends with, about family, and most of the time, worrying about these things usually makes the thing you were worrying about, happen. Just let it all go, follow whatever path you're gonna take, don't worry if it's right or wrong, this year is about letting it go, all the preconceived ideas and PLAY. But also a specific piece of advice for this time next year, do what makes you happy, set goals for yourself, give yourself a routine, it's time to lock in, even if you wanna keep travelling, do it with intent and purpose and a direction. You cannot fall into a place of mush again after this amazing year you are and will experience.
I think I still need to work on maintaining friendships over distance and reigniting the relationship I had with my brothers. That still needs work.
Start work earlier so I can enjoy the evening and have less or no hours to work on Friday. The early bird get the worm.
Get out of my head (i.e stop thinking & overthinking everything.) Stand up for myself even if I don't fully know what I want yet. Remember that I am worthy of taking up space regardless of what others say or don't say or what my brain tries to convince me
I would like to be less of a people pleaser. Decide what it is I want and be sure to not let it fall through my fingers. I want to be more awake and conscious and make thought out and deliberate life choices.
I'd like to move up again in my career- or sideways. I want to be doing something a little more cerebral in my day to day. I'd like to be spending more time on self care, and to be a friend to myself. Advice I've received in the past year which can guide me: focus on following things I enjoy just for the sake of it, not everything needs to be a task.
I want to continue to lose weight. I know that is generic, but I have been all over the place, and it does make me feel better. I totally crashed with my knitting, and realized, I can no longer do what I used to - at least at the speed and style I had. I am slowly re-embracing what I enjoyed. I don't have to be an expert. Just a participa nt. I need to be certain that I don't completely shut myself off, even when I want to. I can't only have interactions with medical staff. I just don't want to totally shut myself down. It has almost been two years since my cancer diagnosis.. I want the meds to keep my markers low... but without killing me.
Well, I wanted to find joy in this year. That didn't happen--at least not in engaging with the world. Family yes, the world no. This year, I want to reclaim my own story. Not my personal one, but the one that lets me take joy in others. That means cultivating questioning, curiosity, vulnerability, trust, honesty. It means listening, but also finding ways to be honest with my truth--to respond to erasure respectfully, but without silence. It is hard--but living in fear and fury is worse.
I still would like to work on losing weight, walking more and having less back issues, so I can clean my home
I wish I could remember what my word of the year was. Something about play, maybe? Fuck, I’d love more play and joy and good company with less expectations. How do I do that? Maybe my next-year-self with have some answers.
“To study the Buddha Way is to study the self; to study the self is to forget the self; to forget the self is to be actualized by myriad things. When actualized by myriad things, your body and mind as well as the body and mind of others drop away. No trace of realization remains and this no trace continues endlessly.” -Dogen
I want to be more wholesome and earnest next year, especially with girls. Go re-read and re-remember your "Life Lessons" note-- the first one on there is the Pewdiepie story: being wholesome is usually the better option.
It's going to be ok. You are stronger than you think. Just hold on and ride the wave. Your kids need you more. Don't do it.
Spending time in rest and letting go of things I cannot control. The advice I have been giving multiple times is to splat for rest so that I do t let time slip by.
I would like to rearrange my exercise routine again. I would like to avoid injury. I was having a sustained period of success until August. I am bummed about my perpetual health problems. I would like to be in consistent better shape.
Es muy parecida mi respuesta a la anterior. Los achivemnets importantes para mi ahora son esos, Sobre el advice, algunos de Karim, como trabajar en no permitir las emociones chocarreras con tanta facilidad en el día a día. Creo que he sido flojo y complaicent con mis propios estandares personales de conducta cuando estoy solo.
I would like to get better at stopping and thinking about what I want in moments of frustration. Is there a third way? What am I graciously willing to do? How can I release myself from (my own) expectations of what I must do, and allow others to support me and to take care of themselves. Stand in my power. Demand the best treatment (with grace and style). The moment is the meaning. The symbol is the reality. I am the constant in the ever shifting landscape. Make plans. Try out the curious and strange thing. It is a privilege to be with me or have me. Continue more into not judging myself for showing my emotions to people, and not prejudging other people. Continue showing up for my family, and showing up to make space for myself.
I need to begin taking better care of my health. That might include losing weight, exercising more (I can’t exercise less 🙄), paying greater attention to my sleep, add regular meditation, etc. I think the message that could guide me is that I am worthy of self-care.
My friend, who doubles as my spiritual counselor, has shown me that being honest with yourself and others is the best route. I never want anyone to be mad at me, but sometimes you need to be hurtful in speaking the truth.
I want to feel more confident about what I say and what I do. I have been getting better at that, embracing who I am, and knowing that my actions are good and that I have enough self-awareness to acknowledge when I have done something wrong and know how to take steps to correct things. I would also like to continue being kind to myself for when I feel sad or disappointed with others. Everyone has their own thing going on, and usually people are not trying to hurt me. And I am also not trying to hurt others. If someone doesn’t like me, that’s ok! I always treat people with respect, and I cannot control what others do. I love myself and know that I have people who love me for who I am.
Don't be afraid to start over. Don't be afraid to fail. It's the only way to get through. When you fail enough, you will become proficient and will no longer be failing. Success lies beyond the failures.
The one improvement that would make life so much better is to put aside my news feed. However our current situation is resolved the America that I took for granted will never return in my lifetime. A far better course is to wake up and enjoy what remains of normalcy by going for a walk, volunteering, working in yard and getting together with my friends. At 73 my energy is best spent on those things within my sphere of influence.
A lovely thing Eliana(?) Light taught about the first paragraph of the amida reminds me that there are things we've said and done a million times, so much that it's hard to imagine taking them slower but Going Slowly Is Still Worth It. Try do the things you do every day but realise you're doing them. Feel yourself fitting into a larger whole and being a larger whole yourself. Idk it's 11:41 and I'm mumbling but there's something there. Take a breath and notice where you are.
Being more satisfied with my career and care for my health, while maintaining my standard of living and continue helping others. If it's nagging follow your heart. We don't always have to follow our head and logic. Gut feelings are important.
Be calmer. Be kinder. It will be okay. Better is always ahead.
I would like to lose weight, have better friendships, be competent enough in Spanish to help my students and their parents, have a better relationship with my mother, be a good teacher and colleague, write more, improve my writing, be able to speak up more, be able to command respect, and to have more integrity. Josh Johnson recently gave a performance where he implored, “There’s nothing wrong with you.” For much of my life I’ve thought that I’m not good enough. I think knowing that I’m ok will help me to speak up more.
I would like to find more routine and through more routine, more peace. I know better than to assume I will become an even keeled person, nor would I want to. That's not me. But I do hope a bit more peace and love and whimsy in my life, to replace some of the angst and despair and desperation I feel too often right now. I welcome the outside advice or counsel that can help me find that, but for myself I believe finding more routine will free up more of my bandwidth for bringing in whimsy, and the rest will follow.
I started a weight management programme today called Gutless. It's a 10-week course delivered via webinar. I'd like to complete that and learn some behavioural techniques to help me reach my target weight of 80kg (current weight: 91.3kg). I've already lost over 10kg, but I've hit a bit of a plateau and would like to see if there's anything else I could do to reach a healthier weight. My main motivation is to reduce my QRISK, which is the risk of having a heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years. I'd also like to feel better in my own body. So I don't know what the advice is yet. I'll know in 10 weeks' time. I get a bit stuck and overwhelmed at work sometimes. Tom recommended writing down my to-do list with pen and paper. I have a digital to-do list, but that keeps getting longer. I've tried this a few times in the last few weeks and it does help to focus on trying to achieve three things in a day; anything more than that is a bonus. I do feel like a slave to my inbox sometimes: just responding to the active conversation rather than the longer-term piece of work that I agreed to do a while ago.
I would like to commit more to the things that give me fulfillment outside of my phone, like reading, going outside, exercising, etc. I'm not so sure about advice other than my own advice to continue reducing my phone time.
Always know that the things and the people that you want and need the most come when you least expect it and always be unapologetic for who you are that’s I think the advice I would give myself and I’ve got and I put so much belief into it and I hope to improve my skills of staying true to myself when I’m environments that make me anxious.
She who hesitates wins -- and everyone around her benefits. Be less rushed to correct or comment, listen more fully and more patiently. Trust the process of interactions to advance without intervention.
money. just getting more and more responsible
- Give yourself grace. - The more you like yourself, the less you'll need others to. - Stop ignoring yourself. When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you do good. Put in the effort. Invest in yourself. - If you don't know what to pursue in life right now, pursue yourself. Pursue becoming the happiest, healthiest, most healed, most present, most confident version of yourself. Then the right path will reveal itself.
I'm looking forward to learning more about my ADHD characteristics, particularly in the context of my studies and my job. More importantly, i am very keen to improve how i show up for my family and myself during what will be a pretty crazy year
I would like to learn a new language. My wife and I want to go to Paris next year and I don't wish to be unprepared. Advice: accept that the people you love are imperfect and love them for the parts of them that are best.
I want to get more social and really connect with my friends. I need to better clarify what that means for them and what that looks like for me. I also want to attempt the bold challenge of actually having all aspects of my life be fulfilled at least once. Not at the same time, but it would be great to look back on 2026 and have said that I did! As far as advice goes, if you don’t use it you loose it! That seems to be the case when I fall out of my routines and habits without replacing them with something more valuable.
I'd like to work on allowing imperfections to simply be, instead of trying to solve everything or take on responsibility for things that are not on me. My boss keeps telling me that my long-term happiness and career at the school is more important than being concerned with immediate responses or perfection. I want to take that more into account this year. It's ok if not everything goes perfectly every time, especially if someone else is making it harder for me. I want to take this over into my personal life and not just my work life. On a physical level, I am really proud of losing the weight this year. I'm still not entirely happy with how I look/feel, but I'm making steps in the right direction.
I'd like to become more aligned with my sense of purpose. What is it I want to do in my life while I'm still here? What matters. How can I do more of it. And less of what doesn't. This whole year I've been nonstop. "If you want something done, ask a busy person" is true of me. I'm the busy person. But I cannot sustain this pace. I need to rest and to do that I need to learn which things don't matter, so I can say no to them when people ask.
Continue with slow weight loss. It's working and I am healthier, so I hope to keep it up. Stop stressing so much about everything. Find more peace.
I want to lean into rest more. Recognize that I need some time to decompress when I get home before I start interacting and making dinner and doing all the things. That work takes a lot out of me and I need time and space to recover. I get a second wind around 7-8pm when I have a chance to breathe. Trying to model self care more for my kids instead of pushing through to do things for them.
Breath. Nothing is as important as it feels in the moment. Try harder I ask yourself "will I care about this in a week"? Understand that others will not understand right away. It will take a couple of rephrasings to make sense. They are not "out to get you", they just don't understand. Breath through the moment and ask yourself "how else can I describe this?" Or "what's another way to explain my idea?" Life should be enjoyed. Nothing is as serious as it feels. Enjoy the moment.
I am still being guided by "the future is now". I want to take more vacations with my wife and work to close down my business.
My friend, Barbara, was going on a trip that she wasn't sure would be totally pleasant. But she planned to use any difficulties or discomforts to figure out what God would like her to learn from this events. That was something that really touched me. As I try to, like every year, be more organized, and get more done, I want to see how I can learn from my failings, and generate progress from my learning.
Ugh. I'm totally committed to my business but I need to make a similar commitment to an exercise program. Even my once automatic daily walks have been shelved. I have to find a way to not hate it, and to keep doing it even if I do hate it!
I wish to become a more secure, confident person.
My sister said to just ask my dad. Which sounds like a simple piece of advice it was really about overcoming some of my PTSD around my father something that my sister would never even consider. I'm really eager to get back into EMDR therapy and complete my PTSD treatment
Harking back to question 2, I’d like to be consistently considerate to my husband and to be less in the ditch of running my own show.
I would like to start living a fully Jewish life, so keeping kashrut, shabbat, studying Torah, marrying a jewish man, bearing and raising jewish children, contributing to my work field by bringing Jewish values and practices into wisdoms of the world. To perfom more mitzvot and jewishness into my life and those around me. Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, zt"ll, wrote in is Letters to the Next Generation 2, “Judaism was the first religion in history to place love at the heart of the spiritual life: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your might. Love your neighbour. Love the stranger. And what we love most – because that is where God is to be found – is life itself. That is our greatest strength. It enabled our ancestors to survive every persecution. It helped Holocaust survivors to survive. It gave the Jewish people the courage to rebuild the land and state of Israel. That’s why our greatest prayer on this day of days is: “Write us in the Book of Life.” We don’t ask for wealth or fame, stardom or success. We don’t pray to be spared trials and tribulations. We just ask for life. That is what Judaism is: a life of love and a love of life. All the rest is commentary.” That is how I aspire to live my life starting this next year.
I would like to get better at French. No one has given me any counsel or advice. I am also traveling more bc I have realized that I am happy when I am traveling.
I would like to be more calm and a better husband and father. My advise would to be more humble and to have some humility about myself to give myself grace. To always remember to foster my inner child who is carefree and loving and curious.
It's ok to slow down
I would like to use my time better and procrastinate less. I'm hoping that being in a new environment will motivate me and that I will take more control over my time.
I want to be physically stronger and in better shape. I've been swimming and doing yoga and I enjoy it, but I feel like I need to push myself harder and challenge myself to go past playing it safe. I have a friend who does body-building, and she was telling me that I have the exact right physique to do weight-lifting. I have dabbled with weights over the years, but never gotten super crazy with them. Perhaps it's a good way to go, though I also feel like I need some cardio in there as well.... I'm not getting any younger and I want my body to have more stamina so I can feel better and do more. Last month I went to Lake Tahoe and hiked down to a beach that's about 600 feet below the road. Getting back up was really brutal, and I'm motivated to be able to do better with that same hike up next year.
More Exercise. Less Sugar. More consistent involvement in Shabbat Morning services and staying for the kiddush, even though I find it tedious to engage new people. Solidify the Torah Reading for Rosh Chodesh, because it comes around often enough. Continue chanting Haftorah every quarter.
By next year, I aim to cultivate a more grateful, understanding, and committed mindset, with a focus on personal improvement. There has been no advice regarding this as of yet, but regardless, I will do my best to live up to the man I want to be next year.
This feels somewhat minor, but my grad school advisor recently encouraged me to limit my swearing (which I do a lot of), and I'd like to actually make that happen. I honestly enjoy swearing for the most part, and I think it's mostly okay, but I do swear a lot and I think it does limit me or pose a potential problem in some cases. So I suppose that's my self-improvement plan for the next year.
I will stick with the advice from Arnold's book "Be Useful". Make your vision clear, pursue it like you mean it, and work your ass off. I am getting more and more recognition for my photography. So I want to continue giving that a real shot at being how I make a living. Teaching Japanese has been cool too, and I am working to improve my handwriting now. Even if I only have two students, I want to do my best for them.
I would like to try on a more strict shabbat practice of limiting technology, committing to a slower/less planned day, and study or jewish learning of some kind.
I'd like to continue to build positive habits that help me take care of myself both physically and mentally. A piece of advice that I've been keeping in mind is that I'm worthy of taking care of myself.
Get a suitable place to live, and a consistent income. Consistent relationships (in a broad sense that include friendships and acquaintances) would be great, too, but idk how to achieve that while I'm always drawn to people who either trigger my avoidance or are a tenfold more avoidant then me.
This year, I aim to take greater control over my actions and work towards achieving my personal goals with less procrastination. A valuable piece of advice I’ve received, which I also share with my clients, is that "the way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.
I'm feeling a bit averse to the idea of "improving myself", which is interesting because I do hold the value of always striving to be better. I think I'm struggling with rest vs. productivity, demand avoidance, and other chronic illness–related stuff. I'd like my life to feel more balanced, authentic, and sustainable, where I have routines and they work for me and I can maintain them. I'm holding onto the moment early on in DLTI where this group of women I barely knew held space for my uncertainty and fear about my health and my future, and told me to trust my intuition and listen to my body and do what I need to do to take care of myself. Their support helped remind me that even though the future is uncertain, I have skills and wisdom to carry myself through it. And that I can weather the loss of the future I expected, and the grief around that.
More: acceptance, authenticity, awareness, ability to have clear boundaries, discernment, empathy, compassion, curiosity, feelings, forgiveness, gratitude, generosity, humility, joy integrity, kindness, presence, and LOVE
I'd like to be more consistent with my political action, in calling my congress people and writing emails, going to events, or other methods that seem to be effective.
I would like to be healthier. At 71, that’s a challenge. I would certainly like to have more strength and endurance and to have better balance. Using exercise, diet, and physical therapy to reach mu goal. As to counsel, just to live every day as the gift it is.
I still want to improve my communication and intimacy with Karen. I also wish to become a better listener (I already have hearing problems!). I also want to become more understanding. I am grateful that our home survived the fire, but I have been inspired by the positive and philosophical attitudes of those who lost everything. I want gratitude to be my watchword!
Make room for joy and play in your life. Make celebration a practice.
come with love come with love you are already beloved what if what you seek is already here.
Read more and spend less time looking at screens. The immediacy of news and commentary has sped up the level of agitation across humanity. The lack of thinking about things has made our society less social and more dangerous.
It’s go time. Queen Energy ONLY
My guidance was recieved long ago, and is more relevant than ever. Model the behaviour I want to see. Be the change, not talk about change. Be constantly mindful of the difference between being and doing.
Oh, gosh, this is such a tough question for today, given everything going on with husband. I’d like to be that much better at languages, to have written a whole bunch more episodes/entries in my little writing project, and I’d like to be organized, at least a little bit. Remember to breathe.
I'd like to improve my fitness. I'd like to be, endurance-wise, fit again. I want to ride that 100-miler in Fallon in May. I feel like physical fitness has such a huge impact on my mental and spiritual wellbeing - they're all a venn diagram, but that's a piece that's been in remediation mode and it's time to turn it into a leading edge. Some is better than none, is the advice I've heard. Not to be all or nothing about my workouts. Something done is better than nothing done. Just go.
don't sweat the small stuff. Less OCD/perfection. Letting go of control more. opening my heart to those I sometimes look down on/despite for their hatred. Exploring what it means to really make space in my life for my partner.
Be as kind as possible. Do not call my partner any bad names. Be more consistent with admin work.
The rabbi's tallis has the paraphrased quote from the Book of Esther: "Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created." Since every "this moment" is the "now" I am living, I wish to be mindful of how each "now" could be why I was created and what I might do with that possibility..
Find smart people to surround yourself with and let them impart their expertise on you. Especially when it comes to subjects that either make you feel stupid or inferior.
Take care of the caregiver. 70% of caregivers over the age of 70 (that's me!) die before the person they are caring for. I don't want that to happen.
I’d like to improve my physical fitness. I’m eccited that my upcoming new home provides physical and cultural classes and experiences to help with better health and participation with others. The puece of advice that I received years aho guides mectoday; keep moving forward.
I’d like to improve my physical health. The only new healthy activity I’ve added to my schedule is tennis, which is a good start. But I can feel that my body is out of shape and needs some other form of exercise. I also could stand to eat healthier. I should follow the lead of my partner who leads a very fit lifestyle and looks and feels great compared to me.
I've become obsessed with Tennis this year. With school being over and only having to work a job, I would like to take some tennis lessons and take a shot into that sport. I love racquetball and I will likely keep playing, but there's something about tennis that is really pulling me towards it. If I want it bad enough, I'll go get it. Let's see if I find it important enough to take a shot.
What I said last year always applies - listen first and listen deeply. I am well on my way to improving both my mental and physical health, and I get glimpses of how exhilarating that can be. Divorce is an extremely difficult process, even a moderately simple one like mine, but having a peaceful life is an incomparable gift. There are so many ways that I have received excellent advice and counsel and for that I am so grateful!
I want to be better at investing in my friendships. Staying connected with people I don't see much, and seeing people more who are in my orbit.
Courage. To know I am worthy, strong and loved. Patience. I sometimes feel anxious and do things that are unnecessary and/or make my problems worse. Perspective. Keep learning and growing. Widening the frame in which I see the world and events.
I would like to start reading hard books again. My focus has been shot the past couple of years. Get of your phone!
Not being in this limbo would be a great start. Deciding where I want to live, moving in, making a little nest for myself -- all that will drastically improve my life. I keep trying to be in control with my nightly ritual check out, and I would like to move on from there. The best piece of advice I think I've gotten was to realize that I am still grieving and not make any drastic decisions or push myself too hard. Of course getting out of here means I have to push myself, but there is a middle way that I would like to find.
I want to get over the obsession with my looks but I'm not sure I do! Maybe acceptance is the right word. I'm contemplating a face lift but not sure that will solve my dilemma. I think it's about aging, I know it is. Getting older is a gift and I'm embracing that. But I want to be noticed and it's typical that older people are not ignored, but overlooked. I will go back to see my therapist to discuss this to ensure that if I proceed, it's with appropriate expectations. As for advice, I turn to Alanon and "turn it over to God", which is the solution for most things for me.
The only place I'm not replaceable is at home so I want to be more present and happy there with my husband and kids, who honestly sometimes--a lot of times-- get on my nerves! But, I also need to have balance out of the house and time away from my kids so that I can focus on myself.
I need to start getting comfortable with the parts of me that I find embarrassing: the messy, clingy, sensitive, ugly parts that desperately want to be loved, affirmed, cherished and protected, rather than shunned and hidden from view. I know EVERYONE has these parts but for some reason, I feel very alone and like I'm unworthy of loving partnership because of these parts. And I think that until I can learn how to acknowledge and validate these parts, I won't meet anyone else who wants to see them and love them either.
“Stop being patient and ask yourself: How can I accomplish my 10-year goal in six months? You’ll probably fail, but you’ll be further ahead than the person who accepts that it’s going to take 10 years to accomplish their goal.” —Elon Musk The idea I would like to explore this coming year is to stop being patient. My dad used to constantly tell me to “just do it.” Here I am now at 48 years old, and I am just now grasping this concept fully. I’m not sure how the next six months or one year will look when I read this post again, but I do know that being patient and sitting back while watching time pass doesn’t help anyone. Accepting that my goals are achievable and writing them down is one thing, but actually progressing and taking steps to accomplish them is another thing entirely. Over the years, I’ve been very good at goal setting and laying out 1,5- and 10-year plans, then executing them slowly and steadily—conservatively, with the least amount of pain as possible. The problem with this approach is that troubles come, pain will happen, and sometimes things not even tied to the goals themselves will eradicate the ambition required to advance. The truth is, it’s better to try and fail, then try again; to reevaluate and try again and fail, and try again and fail until the process of failure becomes part of the process of success. If I were to say that my goal is to have a retirement worth $10 million and try to accomplish that in the next six months, what would that look like? I don’t know, but maybe I should try…
I want to open myself up again, be honest about my feelings. I’m not necessarily stuck or anything or feel lacking in any way, but I sense that my lack of emotional response to anything in real life (saving all emotional responses for fictional characters) is me hiding behind a wall I didn’t realize I built.
I'm clearly still working on this. It's difficult to learn to love myself and when I see this difficulty in students it breaks my heart. I think I will take the recommendation from ChatGPT and write letters to former friends/gf who I have hurt. And then probably burn them ceremoniously so that I can move on. I want to make amends with people I hurt when I was more affected by attachment disorder than I am now. I have tremendous regrets about many of these relationships. I have burned so many bridges.
I want to refocus my energy on myself more. My children need less of my attention so I would like to do more physical exercise and find some calming ways to spend my energy.
My life is good.
"It is our duty to fight for our freedom. It is our duty to win. We must love and support one another. We have nothing to lose but our chains." - Assata Shakur, z"l
Health. I know when I was walking every day I felt better. I need to start again. Will have a dog for 10 days, so that should help. (dog sitting.)
By becoming more aware of Jude’s needs instead of selfishly focusing on my own. By becoming more patient in discussion with Jude and not being aware of time constraints. The guidance from the past year I received was that through discussion it became apparent to me that if communication was to improve, the ball was in my court.
I want to treat myself tenderly. I deserve it. Everyone does.
At some point, I stopped listening to podcasts and committed to listening to and reading better books. This is a commitment I want to keep and make intentionally. I think podcasts made it easier to get lost in the parasocial relationships I found there and exacerbated my inner monologue. I listened to people's expressions of pain and discord and leaned into those ideas. Getting away from that has kept me more present. I also think my ideas are better and my commitment to reading better things has lead to getting out of idealization and given me more time to focus.
Watch my thoughts Watch my thoughts Watch my thoughts Negative thoughts are the root of my unhappiness.
I need to think and calm down before speaking and reacting. I need to remind myself of how strong and smart and principled I am, that I have been through hard times, and I have proven myself. I can ask for the grace of the Almighty and receive at any time. Also, remind myself to pray prayers of Thanksgiving as if I have already received what I need. So -- faith in myself and faith in a loving God.
I need to continue to figure out how to live my best life in an aging body. Still need to lose weight. Anticipating life post hip replacement! Still need to work on the plan with my husband for how to travel and spend our time. I think that I have discovered this past summer that I prefer spending an extended time in a city with access to surrounding nature and countryside. I did that in Ecuador, for instance. So I hope my husband and I can do that in the coming years.
I want to be accepted. Sometimes to achieve this I erase myself so I do not know what I want. So... I would like to know what I want and direct my actions to do it.
Keep saying no. Keep leaving big unplanned spaces open for rest or creativity. I remember Jon saying "what if you put in no effort at all?" as a paradoxical way of seeing what really matters.
I would like to feel more centered and not feel like I am dependent on others. I will meditate more and take care of me.
I would like to get settled on the best way to manage retirement. Filling my day and fulfilling my life. Interestingly, as I get older, I get less advice and asked for more.
I've been thinking a lot about the moment when my former neighbor, the poet Susan Gubernat, was reaching for a word to describe me and came up with 'porous'. The personal/life improvements I want to make involve being okay with who I actually am and being authentic. Being less reactive, less of a people pleaser. I've come to realize that keeping myself separate not only doesn't work - it just isn't possible. It's not how I'm made.
Over the next year, I want to eat healthier, eat less processed snacks/desserts, and finally figure out how to cook more and better. I also want to continue the strength training I started this year and build up more physical strength. I also want to spend less time on social media and more time reading books.
I want to give more grace to others and myself. I want to make better financial decisions and learn at least one new skill.
To make space and to approach things gently and spaciously, to trust the process and see the bigger picture.
Since I visited Japan this spring, I have found in myself a slower pace which I hope to be able to develop even further. I also want to practice more heart coherence.
Chose a plan, monitor progress and adjust as needed.
Some of the best and most profound advice I received in the last year came from Dan Wheeler's celebration of life. In those three hours at the Alberta Rose Theatre, I cried as well as sobbed, laughed hysterically (more than I ever have at any other funeral and probably ever will again), and was profoundly changed for having witnessed the beautiful testimony to his life. "Be like Dan" was the advice his family and loved ones repeatedly gave, which means to live life with a full heart, boundless curiosity and compassion, and a neverending commitment to being your truest, weirdest self. I will especially remember Dan's brother Matt sharing what Dan said in the final days of his battle with brain cancer, when asked if he was afraid of death. He said something like "worst case scenario, I die and nothing happens. It just goes black. Best case... something really cool happens." I want to be like Dan and live my life to the fullest, weirdest, juiciest, bravest extent possible. Every year I will try to be a little more honest with myself, a little weirder, a little more compassionate, and a little less afraid of all that's unknown out there in the universe.
I got some help recently from an ex-girlfriend (who is also a current friend) to clear away some of the debris yet the house is still messy but not as much. My friends are encouraging me to move out of my house which is an old miner’s cottage that is in a state of slow-motion collapse (as am I). I think I will need to come up with my own advice although I may not always listen.
I would like to feel more confident in my abilities to cope with things. At the moment everything feels too much all the time and I would like to feel a bit more stable and able to deal with things in a less emotional way.
Have a job Have Canadian citizenship (dual) Not be in an unhappy marriage, either repairing it or leaving it. I don't think there is any advice or council I have gotten which I can remember specific to the past year which applies
Think of benefit to others before choosing avoidance of efforts but don't force yourself to do what you think will minimize negativity of others or require ambition to do more than is really motivated. Chill.
I want to remember what my friend told me: that even when the odds are stacked against you, if you keep fighting, that changes the odds.
I would like to be more stable, more forward-thinking, and more committed by this time next year. I don't know what advice to give, save for 'lean into it.' I need to get better at being explorative and adventurous, daring and creative. As I have been throughout my life at different times, but I had intended on being in such a compilatory situation before the events of 2020 and since, so clearly those skills still exist with in me. I have to now find them.
I would like to make space each day for things that I love, like making crafts or art or reading. I want to make sure I'm doing more than TV and homework and work. I want to help myself feel loved and comfortable in my relationship to myself. i want a future where my relationship with myself is solid and I feel able to explore external relationships. The advice that is guiding me is the idea of forgiveness. Forgiving the Torah. Forgiving myself. Forgiving my body. I feel at home in it for the first time in a long time.
I need to focus on self-care — reduce weight to reduce blood pressure and cholesterol, eat a low cholesterol diet, exercise regularly including stretching and take care of my mental health through counseling, meditation and gratitude. All of this is necessary because my husband is dying and I need to be here for him and for the rest of the family if/when he dies.
I am going to make myself the person I want to be - lose weight, eat healthy, practice yoga and find something that I want to do for myself to earn money rather than having to go back and work for other people. I know none of this will be easy but every small step is a step in the right direction.
One way that I would like to improve myself is by continuing on the path I'm currently on. I often choose rest, friends, learning new things, play, nature, and physical activity. If I can just keep staying on course, keep it moving forward, and being gentle with myself when I stray away, I think I'll continue to grow and improve organically. Maybe a little less scrolling too ;)
I hope to continue to better learn how to manage activity as a late-diagnosed Autistic person. This past year, I have continued to get sick from trying to do too much and also mask so others don’t know I’m autistic.
I've done a good job tuning into what I want and taking steps toward those things (my aim from last year). I feel like I want to keep that going! More: books, time with friends, mini-getaways, activism, community, time outside, swimming, writing, movement and momentum, creativity, cooking. Less: TV, scrolling, inertia, recreational shopping, ordering out.
I would like to have a more consistently loving self-regard. I realise I have a habit of chronic shame. My intent is to 1) get better at recognising it when it crops up, by how it sounds, feels, or moves in my body. 2) Interrupting it by opening my chest, softening my belly, breathing more fully, making gentle eye contact. 3) Asking myself, "What would I say to a beloved friend in this same situation?" 4) And using to touch to practice self-compassion, like "I am a good person," "My feelings are valid," “I matter.” Finally, I think practicing at being imperfect, allowing myself to be seen in progress, vulnerable. When shame arises, I can pause and ask myself, “What if this intensity is not proof of my unworthiness, but proof of my sensitivity?” On a broader front, I'd like to stay on the path I've been on for the last year, of becoming infinitely more Jewish. Every activity and practice I add, be it scholarship, reading, prayer, ritual, socialising, shul, shabbat, have all added kindness, beauty and richness to my life in a time of existential hardship for us Jews. This year I'll start learning Hebrew!
I'd like to get in better physical health and shape.
I want to lose weight and learn some employable software. I always benefit from counseling. I miss my sewing machine. I want to win my case and buy my own home.
I would like to be more organized. Even if it's just 'this kind of thing is piled in this spot' and not full on container/storage organization. I would like to cull my possessions down to what I really want to keep and not just 'in case.' Marie Kondo's 'does it give me joy' is the best advice I've seen for that.
Nutrition is the key to health! I want to internalize this to the point that I don't even think about it as a task, but it is the way I live.
Humility. I understand the real meaning of the word, but I need to make it part of my every fiber. I must stop the "Oh, does everyone notice how much humility I am demonstrating.
I need to focus on my physical and spiritual health. I'm working from home, I gave myself the gift of an hour of sleep more each night. I have the potential to be more active and healthier. I need to start meditating again.
I would much like to be calmer and more patient. I don't know how to do that, and no one's dare give me advice in some time, so I don't have high hopes.
I answered it in question 8, there is a lot of advice especially stemming from my wonderful therapist who is so good at steering and not pushing me. Also being able to hear when wisdom is shared with you. Sometimes prejudices and assumptions prevent us from hearing and registering really important information.
I would like to revisit the parts of myself that I've had to lay aside for a couple years due to my educational journey.
I think I would just like to continue on the path I'm on. I'd like to be able to look back in fall 2026 and say "I baked yummy things for friends and family, I was outside to enjoy beautiful weather, I read books I liked, I laughed a lot, and I sang with people and it felt good. I don't feel there's anything to improve on. Just living deeply.
Just like last year, I just want to keep moving forward. It would be great to be close to being approved for pointe by this time next year, but I'm also not pushing for it before I'm actually ready.
I feel like my eating and exercise has slipped a bit in the past year. Now is the time for me to get a handle on it before I lose control of those things. With so much out of control in our world right now, I feel like the only thing I can control is how I handle myself, but physically and emotionally. At my music day camp over the summer, we spent time each day journaling and with a short mindfulness practice and I know that taking the time to incorporate those things are things I could do to improve myself for sure.
I think I have this need to do different things that are contradictory but still my goal. I want to be better at being self sufficient, in the sense that I could emotionally regulate for the small stuff and understand that I have a get support system for the big stuff. I want to get less judgmental and more okay just letting interactions be what they are and they don’t need to be bigger than that, I could just come into a conversation to explore a new person, I need to get better at not dismissing people who I don’t align with me. I also love that I have gotten louder this year, and not I want to get more okay knowing that I am that person and not internally cringe at some stuff.
I believe life is a journey of self acceptance- not of self improvement. Improvement is a word that energetically hold something needs “fixing.” I’m not broken. The more I accept myself & live in the joy that’s here everyday, the richer my life is.
Life as immediate past president definitely gives me more time for me (and us), and there's more I need to hand off to others. I want to be able to walk more with less knee pain. Maybe start some (volunteer) work in the mental health world. And always Jack's advice ... take care of yourself, too.
Next year, I want to continue healing from my neuroma surgery and focus on losing the weight I gained during recovery. My goal is to feel like myself again, comfortable in my body, stronger, and with minimal pain. Regaining this balance will also support my mental health, since returning to exercise with my trainers is one of the best ways I manage stress and anxiety. A piece of advice I received this past year that I want to carry with me is to not be so hard on myself about the weight gain. While I notice it more than anyone else, several people have reminded me that I look great and that perspective helps me show myself more kindness and patience along the way.
Worry less
This is a similar answer to #6, but I would like to have changed my eating habits enough where my cholesterol is lower naturally without medication. I'm realizing that I'm having to retrain my brain. A lot of the foods I stopped eating when I went paleo, are foods that are actually high in fiber (oatmeal, beans) and good for a low cholesterol diet. And a lot of paleo foods, like coconut oil, are high in saturated fat, which I'm trying to lower. When I was doing Noom before, I only cared about calories. But now I need to look at saturated fat, that's almost more important.
Stay present. Orient towards safety and beauty. Be curious about the body and its wisdom. Remember that everyone is on their own journey and their choices are theirs and don't reflect on me. Stay simple.
I would like to heal my avoidant/anxious attachment style and become more securely attached. I would like to grow where i do not confuse intensity with love or connection. i have not received any advise and doing the work myself. surprisingly ChatGpt has helped by allowing me to dump into it and i gain clarity via reading what I wrote and through what ChatGPT reflects back to me.
Today we attended a Kever Avot, a ceremony memorializing the memory of loved ones during the high holidays. Once again we felt Jared’s presence. When we looked at the clock it was 11:11 which happens often and again today. Jared was born 11:11 AM. We witness many paranormal signs of his presence. We visited Wayne Weinstein and Wendi Keene, Elyse’s mom. How she would’ve loved her grandchildren. Point being, life is precious and I must get my health, especially eating habits, in order. Overall, except for a bad back, I have no health threats so my best action of gratitude should be healthy eating.
I want to enjoy life! I want to be joyful, happy, laugh, sing, dance... improve myself and my relationship with my husband... AND my knowledge in the Bible and relationship with God.
I would like to continue to get healthy and go beyond where I am to a new level of health. I need folks that understand where I'm at and how to get further.
Keep on the path. Stay curious. You’re doing good kid! It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be honest.. whatever IT is.
One was Marianne, though she said it a few years ago: Forgive yourself for everything you weren't able to do. It was me trying to be Superwoman/caregiver and make everything perfect for Mom. And obviously that was impossible, and I do tend to beat myself up. ("You?!?!" Marianne would ask now...) I don't know where I am with weight--post menopause and shrinking, I am no longer overweight, I think I've ventured into the land of the obese. Do I want to take extreme measures? Do I want to starve myself? Take Ozempic? Learn to love myself as I am? And I wouldn't mind getting a job and an interesting person to be intimate with--"intimate" in all senses of the word. OY--that's a lot.
I would like to be more confident and clear on my path and steady and consistent with my healthy practices. My own intuition and inner awareness is the best advice and counsel for me now, as it’s a composition of the many great advices I have absorbed over this year.
The good advice I got this year was from Danny Maseng by way of Shelly. Before going onto the Bimah to lead a prayer service, "wrap yourself in your Tallit and don't come out until you recognize it's not about you." That's some profound, excellent advice. I've been trying it these High Holy Days so far. I am being gentle with myself and remembering that even if I forget to do it before the service starts, I can still practice that as I sit on the Bimah while other people talk and sing. I am still wrapped in my Tallit, and it's not too late to remind myself it's not about me. It's about these girls who sing V'ahavta with me; it's about my mentor and recognizing his love and dedication to the community; it's about these beautiful people in the pews who may have been experiencing a "spiritual deficit," as one congregant told me she had. I'd like to extend this mindfulness to a more regular practice of finding a time in the week when I can turn off my phone. I know I have to work a lot of Shabbats, so I can't turn off my phone from Friday night to Saturday night, certainly. But I do turn it off during our Friday night services. How much more time can I commit to having my phone off? It feels like such a luxury to leave my phone in the locker room when I go to an hourlong yoga class. I worry that my son sees my husband and me on our phones and believes we see them as more worthy or equally worthy of our attention, and that's not good.
You may not know where you'll end up, but you're on the right path. And even if you're not on the right path, you're with the right person, and together we'll get wherever we're going.
Have a "Plan you". This past year I almost broke up my relationship - not for lack of love, but because our plans were (and still are not entirely) aligned. And I saw myself in so much despair because my entire life is around my partner - the country he chose, the city, the house, the lifestyle. I hope by next year I am even more solid on my conviction and if things haven't moved in the directions of my dreams, that I have a plan to move on and start again. I need to invest on my professional development - courses or certifications that could make me more attractive to jobs anywhere. I need to invest in me - make more friends and keep my self-steam in check. Be confident and strong that everything will be alright.
I want to get back in the pool. Swimming laps has been the only structured exercise I have ever been able to make myself do. This summer I had a one-month period when my schedule of managing everyone else's calendar and being mom-taxi was on semi-pause, and I swam two or three times per week. It was glorious. To do this now I have to shift my day to start and end earlier to allow me to get to the pool before going to work. This is easier said than done because the household runs on Pacific Time, though we live in Central, thanks to remote work. But my body is begging me to do it.
I continue to drink too much and not lose weight. I'm sure they are connected. I need to further decrease my consumption of alcohol and continue to increase my exercise (which I've been doing better with). I would advise myself to decrease the alcohol!
At Taschlich I threw a pebble into the stream and let go of my busyness. I would like to learn to be more decisive - better attuned to my intuition so that I can quickly make decisions, get through what must be done, and move on to what brings me the most joy.
I am getting better at controlling my angry outbursts but still have a way to go. Advice - I'm retired, I now have nothing but time
ask more questions, do more listening. slow down. also REST DAMMIT.
What will guide me most is the idea of integrating the different spheres of myself. There are so many constellations to work with: Mind brain/Heart brain/Gut brain... The Four Characters of the brain... H.E.A.L. from Gabor Mate... PQ reps on steroid as explained by van der Kolk as having connection/conversations/awarenesses through touch of self and others... Going back in time to comfort my little self and bring her into my world to experience my protection... All these things are built around CONNECTION as well as PROTECTION and AFFECTION as well as INTENTION... And of course, I ditto what I said last year - and am pleased to find I am doing all the things, and want to continue doing them in 2026: I said in 2024: "I would like to be a calm person / opposite of an anxious person. (25 GETTING THERE) Understanding that I am "wired" for "anxiety," I would like to move from hyper-vigilance to vigilance; pleaser to a woman who cares enough for herself to make sure she listens and attends her needs. (25 GETTING THERE) I would like to improve my life by closing in on having a draft of my book with Phil; (25 ALMOST THERE) having started writing music again; (25 YES) and maybe having a presence on substack -(25 YES) or something equivalent - that might bring me some asynchronous income. (25 STILL STRETCHING) Looking at 2023 I quantified the following advice I have been giving myself for years - these are my 2025 numbers: 2025: What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? 5 | Breathe 6 | Be kind and patient with self 8 | Ride the dragon 10 | Brain" breaks, changing gears. 7. 2023: What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? 2 | Breathe 6 | Be kind and patient with self 7 | Ride the dragon 9 | Brain breaks, changing gears... 5 2024: What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? 5 | Breathe 6 | Be kind and patient with self 8 | Ride the dragon 10 | Brain" breaks, changing gears... 6. PARAMOUNT ADVICE: Love and cherish your Self, all of it. Peace within.
Since I'm ill with the remnants of long covid, what I want more than anything would be to become healthy again. I'm not sure that's possible. :-(
Want to get stronger in my core! Pilates!
I've been really working on setting boundaries, recognizing my limits, and accepting (or even asking for) help. I've started the process, but I still need to get better at those. I'm only human, and I can't be expected to do everything all the time by myself. I have a village, and I need to use it.
I don't want to improve myself -- I am focused on trusting that I am enough. The more I do that, the more I improve my life. A challenge this year has been managing my anxiety around the merger project. Doing my best while not feeling responsible for success is a big part of it.
I would like to build up muscle through strength building cardio routines like stair steppers and running / weight lifting. I know that as women age, bone density and balance are lost. I want to stay as fit and healthy as possible. I want to become better at giving and receiving love, at living from a place of faith and kindness. I want to have more generosity of the spirit. I want to let go more and more of the shortcoming I’ve carried. “I turn my will and my life over the care of the powers greater than me”
Be more active, with the flute, theater, repair jobs, building/inventing stuff. And swimming. Reduce un-alive friendships (Belinda).
Stay present, be in the now, notice the beauty and awe around you.
I still need to be better at protecting my time, spoons and energy. I also want to move forward out of the limbo that my indecisive spouse has put us into. Whatever happens, I want to move forward. Improve our house. Write. Rest. Enjoy.
I've now been to Europe twice, and I've gotten the bug to travel more. Especially as I see that my parents are no longer able to go on the kinds of adventurous trips they used to, I realize there is a time limit to everything. I'm heading to Utah in a month for a few days of dispersed camping, mountain biking and hiking, which should be great. I'd like to do more of this, and hopefully with my wife as well. In the next year I'm hoping to work less and play more.
slow down! I’m always in a rush to make a decision and move forward and sometimes the work is to sit in the moment.
I definitely want to be more relaxed, more generally forgiving and generous. The best advice I know of is to picture who I want to be and practice being her. Mussar helps too.
I would like to eliminate negative self talk and self-loathing. I would like to learn to finally accept my body in the size and shape that it is, even if it’s different from how I think it should be. I would like to be kind to myself first.
My mother says, "where there is poison, there is a remedy", and she's right. I used to worry that I was Too Nice, and that I needed to toughen up to be just as mean as the people around me. However, I learned that the phrase "kill them with kindness" exists for a reason. There are some truly miserable people out there for whom kindness causes more suffering, so now I'm kind to them out of spite. They hate it, they suffer, and I still keep my integrity intact. Everybody wins.
I think I'd like to be more physically active, not as sedentary. But I've wanted to do this for years, and never have. I don't know how to motivate myself to get up and move more, walk around the block a couple times a week. I do walk in Florida, but not as much as I probably should. I'm not getting any younger and don't want to end up in a wheelchair because I can't move. I somehow or other have to be my own guide, my own motivator, and I seem to be mired, stuck as it were, in one place.
I'm continuing to work on myself. I want to work on being neutral, protecting my peace, embrace that this is what it is. I am where I am. I never seem to feel fully settled in the place where I am. I'd like to let go of so much striving, and be here now.
Sleep more. Be in the hard feelings more. Detach less.
I’m at the age now where the majority of my focus should be maintaining my health with good diet and consistent exercise—sometimes difficult for someone with seasonal affective disorder in rainy Portland—and tending to my 401k and IRA in the hopes of a livable retirement. Of course, I’ll never lose my travel bug. I’m lucky to have a wonderful life partner who shares all this with me.
I'd like to do a better job of letting go of having to be productive all the time. The advice is to myself: When you're gone, will it matter if you haven't cleared out your files?
I would like to keep gathering people. I love to be in the company of people I like, and there's no better way to do that than to be an organizer.
I need to get healthier and in better overall physical condition. Sleep more. Eat better. Stretching and strength training are vital. Make sure to get out to events and to see people. Bring a book in the car for when there is time to read.
Let it be.
This year has been barely treading water. Have no idea what I could do to improve my life, because so much now is illegal, dangerous, or too expensive.
I would like to improve my writing and puppet shows. No one has given me what I considered good counsel. I would also like to give my girls (and future grandchild) the best of parenting possible and something to remember about me that would be guidance they could take with them the rest of their lives.
Don’t dive right in to a relationship. Pause before I say what initially comes to mind. Be kind to yourself. And being in an amazing relationship would be nice.
Great to read my response from last year and feel like I've made progress. I traveled to Ireland this past year (Inis Mor) and had a whole adventure on my own and felt really comfortable with myself, going off the beaten path to that crazy fort and finding my way. Really impressive. I feel more like the man that I have become. I'd love to feel more a part of the world, less like an outsider and more like I belong in every space I step into. My life has been charmed ("blessed" even) and I'd like to carry that awareness at the front of my mind. I think it will change how I feel about situations that would be easy to steer negative.
How would I'd like to improve it... Well, I feel like my mental health is not where I would like it to be. I feel edgy. It feels frustrated. Feel angry a lot. I had a lot a lot a lot of trauma, and I feel like maybe it's finally all coming to a head, not in a bad way necessarily, but certainly in a way that can sometimes feel overwhelming. I hope that a year from now that's all settled as I work with a good counselor. I think I kept too much in for too long and didn't even realize I was doing it. Now I guess I seem to be in a place where I must feel safe, because it's coming to the surface, but it's no picnic. Really a year from now I'd like to feel calm and peaceful again, and without so much sorrow and grief. And I can't think of any particular advice or counsel that I received this last year that can guide me. I guess, this too shall pass. It's important to remember that. But right now it's been going on for 18 months and it's feeling very exhausting. So I truly truly hope that a year from now this is more or less resolved to the extent that it ever can be.
Improve my financial health. Improve my home to make it my own sanctuary. No advice as I have not asked for any.
My beautiful daughter thinks that I don’t engage enough with the world at large and that I should try new things such as classes,etc. Perhaps she is right,but between caring for my two dogs, practicing piano,reading and,volunteering, I don’t think it is possible. I strive to be a better person,to contribute to worthy causes and to be available to my friends and family.
Finding balance in life is number 1, I want to not become lethargic and I don't want to fill my days with things that aren't meaningful. My partner is excited that I can spend more time with him. Sure - that is one idea - he wants me to help him with his English (he is Mexican) and to have deep philosophical discussions. Okay - that is one way to spend my time. I want to improve my Spanish (he is not a teacher) and find something I can do that makes a difference in the world. What advice can I give myself from last year - don't sweat the small stuff!
I would like to be alive and be able to maintain our family. Life is short and going quick and just want our family to be able to come together as a whole not just here and there. BETTER COMMUNICATION BY ALL!!!!!!!
Same as it ever way. Exercise more, eat less, speak up more, talk less, listen more, stress less. Expect and embrace the chaos but be sure to get plenty of rest and/or down time.
Figure out how to manage news consumption and respond to political issues. What to read/listen to? How much? What action is appropriate in response? What can be ignored? What should be talked about in daily conversation? Should I write more letters to the editor? Eisenstein says we are all part of a unitary whole. Hating the opposition divides us further, doesn't heal us. Nasty memes (although I laugh at the funny ones) seem like the wrong answer. But don't we need laughter?
So this year, I just started a poetry publishing class that my cousin Lisa teaches. I feel like poetry will definitely be a new direction for me in my retirement. Now I have time to write and it gives me a sense of purpose. If I stick with this year long class, I should have a poetry book published by this time next year. Pretty exciting, huh?
If worse comes to worse depression treatment-wise and no better way can be found, to deal with the stress, anxiety and anger with just mindfulness and such strength of will as I can manage. Of course, at this age there’s also the possibility of dying. Every day and all that…
I think that by and large I'm on a good path for self improvement. I'm learning new things and taking responsibility in my community and for myself. One thing I've relearned for the nth time is that I don't have to do everything that needs to be done. I'll try doing more servant leadership.
I need to start lifting weights. I was diagnosed with osteopenia so it is essential that I do so. I won't have another bone scan until next year but I want to be regularly be lifing weights. I hope by next year I will have to buy another set of weights since mine are so light. A coworker who lifts weights said "you don't do it for you today, you do it for 80 year old you." Yeah, I don't want to be limited in my old age by my poor health.
I would like to keep working towards something true to me. The best advice I have received in the past year is that for a movement (like the incredible free Palestine one) to survive, we need people to take a rest at different times like people taking a breath in a choir (the song continues)
I was advised to stop worrying about everything that could go wrong and be happy and enjoy the long awaited pregnancy my daughter has worked so hard for.
Less screen time before bed! I've noticed it really works if I put my phone to bed before I go to bed -- I just need to make that a habit. It's not about the blue light - really just about avoiding scrolling when I should be winding down.
Don't know. I would like to worry less. But I worry about fascism so that also seems ill advised.
I would like to more focused and patient with myself and others.
My therapist Linda remarked after all my big breakthroughs this spring that I wouldn't have made them if I hadn't first developed the coping skills. So I think continuing to learn how to choose hope and managing grief and despair are the way out. Though TBH I still struggle to feel hopeful. I want Soumyajit to invite me to NYC so we can try this for real. I struggle to hold that hope in one hand and hold reality in the other - that true love usually does not look like this and that I just have to enjoy what we have now.
I’d like to be in remission and be paid to work in crypto/web3 again!
Hold on to awareness - making the most of each moment - helping others, growing & learning, focusing on retaining what I dread, see, think.
Take things as they go. It's okay if it takes time to get to what I want. Be patient. Breathe a bit. Don't rush. Some things take time and that is okay.
I would like to be slower to anger. One of the things I read this past year was about how as an adult, you have to be in control. That's one of the things I want to take with me.
I would like to care less what others think. I want to feel more confident in being my genuine self.
When life gets cluttered - my schedule, etc. - my spaces also get cluttered. This only brings shame, guilt, regret, and maybe even resentment that I have been unable to master my spaces (mentally and physically). I get more frustrated and I take less time to feast on the presence of God. Tasks pile up, one thing making another magnified until the task is a minefield of mental anguish over how much I feel a failure. I need to embrace grace and engage my space, one moment, one mound of clutter, one move at a time. I have had to have a shoulder replaced - major surgery - and Ryan and I still have two homes, three dogs per home... It is the season in which we are currently living; and there are plusses and minuses to it all. We have two moms and a dad also to care for, and friends whose recent move back means more demand for our time...all blessings, but all also with a price to pay. God has given us all the love and so much for which to give thanks! While we navigate this season, may our gratitude outweigh our grumbles...
I would like to be more myself and to be nearer to my son. What P said “we don’t go with the flow, we ARE the flow “ feels somehow very useful.
I would love to get bettter at managing my time, and more importantly feeling better about how I'm managing my time. It feels like I'm not feeling satisfied with days when I'm not productive, because I should have gotten something done, and I'm not satisfied with days when I *am* productive, because I'm not spending my time the way I want to. I actually have the flexibility and the privilege to strike whatever balance feels right, but I feel like I'm doomed for nothing to ever feel right. I'd like to feel more satisfied with all of my choices, which are all completely fine, in reality.
As usual, I would like to get more sleep. Hopefully after I am no longer CBH president I can get more sleep--but I am not sure because I don't think I got enough sleep before I was president. I also would like to spend more energy on my friends who are not my family.
I made some strides this year in getting more active on a daily basis. In the coming year I want to continue that progress, making it more of a routine and more of a commitment. I'm not sure about advice, but I know from conversations with my doctors that they will be of very little help, having basically determined that I'm old and therefore can't be helped. So I have to help myself, by moving more, eating better, staying active and engaged in caring for my health and welfare.
I don't know, and I don't recall receiving any great advice this year.
Next year, I want to focus more on cultivating inner peace rather than seeking external validation. For so much of my life, I’ve measured myself against how things look on the outside... my body, my home, even how my family shows up to others. But I’ve been learning that what truly matters is how I feel inside, not how I appear. I want to practice this in small, everyday ways: choosing flat shoes instead of heels because they make me feel comfortable and strong, or allowing myself to rest instead of rushing to clean the house before guests come over. I also want to stop putting pressure on my daughters to brush their hair or “look nice.” Instead, I want to celebrate them for how they feel, who they are, and the joy they bring into the world, not for how they look or what they accomplish. The advice that will guide me is simple: prioritize inner peace. If I can model that for myself, then my children will learn to honor it in themselves too. This feels like one of the most important lessons I can pass on.
I came out of the hospital on March 8 very weak. My legs and arms have lost their strength. I had drop foot and neuropathy in my right foot. I did PT exercises I was given. Then I fell twice in early Sept which thwarted my strengthening. Concluded I needed to move more slowly and more mindfully.
My life is already improving right now ... I would like that growth and self - development to continue. I don't necessarily want to "improve" myself, I would rather focus on learning how to regulate myself when I become disregulated.
Next year, I expect to be regularly walking again, doing a couple miles when I go out. Right now I am out of the habit, just started walking again and find that I do a mile to mile & 1/2 & that's it. I also expect to be noticeably further out of debt. I am scared what my new payment for student loans is going to be.
I want to be less scared, more clear, more consistent, and unapologetically authentic. There is no moment beyond this one. Be grateful now. Cherish your loved ones. Treasure this life. Be kind. Always. Protect yourself from what hurts you. So you can be there for yourself and those you love. And so you can do the work in this world.
So many things! But I found a quote that has really stuck with me (I don't know who said it). It says "One of the most underrated skills you can learn is the ability to ignore your mood and stick with the plan." I put this on my phone saver so I see it when I'm not feeling like tackling the next thing on my list...
It's funny how annoying I find this question every year. I guess what I want to do, in the face of the hellish political and public landscape, is add as much ART as I can to the world, in every way I can, musically, artistically, visually, in writing, and in experience (food, clothing, decor--art in every element of my lifestyle). What better way to counteract what's happening (besides straightforward resistance, rebellion, and protest?).
In old age, I enjoy random moments of love with strangers — on the bus, or grocery shopping. Fleeting moments where two human beings recognize their shared humanity. I want more of that.
I’ve gotten so much good change in this past year, but I think the thing that I want to remember is to delay before making decisions… because my default to saying yes is great, but could sometimes use a second thought. :) So I think I’m going to remind myself to breathe and count to five before answering any question that would put something into my calendar with a yes.
Finding ways to deal with my husband’s progressive illness.
I want to put my books in order and sort through stuff, including old emails, much of it likely to be trashed. This will simplify my life tremendously.
I’d like to be braver and better at communicating, more actively creative. I want to remember more readily that I am loved.
Will I finally take the sleep challenge plunge?! I’m scared, because after completing 75 hard and losing a bunch of weight (some of which though at the moment I’ve gained back), sleep is one of the last frontiers for me to try and overcome. It’s definitely daunting even just trying to shift habits 15-20 minutes but I’m sure I’ve cut off years of my life not trying to address my deficiencies and I hate being tired most of the time. Maya recently told me my sleep profile is that of a wolf, which apparently is my chrono type. This means that I’m most productive at night, which is nothing new to me, but it does confirm that if I am indeed a wolf, I’m fighting against my nature to get to bed earlier and live more like most of society, who are apparently bears- which get better as the day goes on but get tired earlier
Take care of my body Eat better Make exercising a daily ritual
Increasingly, my life is made up of small bits that don't necessarily build to bigger things, but that, together (I increasingly have to admit), create a life that I enjoy. I can sometimes dwell in a sense of loss over the fact that I am not building something (a program) in my career or working consistently towards mastery in one hobby or another. It has been suggested to me (strongly) that such dwelling is unhelpful. Wisdom from that person making that suggestion via Oliver Berkeman via a Zen monk--our moments are beads on a string. They are different, but they are all equally necessary in crafting one's life. Over the past year, each bead truly has brought me joy. Having goals and working towards them are certainly useful. But my main source of unhappiness this past year has been focusing on the feeling that my goals should be larger, grander, loftier, whatever. Ridiculous. Writing it out here really makes it sound ridiculous. I enjoy each bead as I am stringing it, yet I agonize over whether or not I have created--what? Art? Lasting value to someone? To the world? Clearly this is a whole lot of unsettled times leading to increased focus on mortality and straight on into Meaning of Life nonsense. I am going to try my best to instead focus on enjoying each of my beads over the next year.
I would like to learn to be calmer in uncertainty, to be a better community member when I am afraid, and to focus on all of the good that I have. I would like to reengage some of my relaxation practices. I think there's good advice in so many resources right now. I would like to scroll mindlessly on the phone less and read more.
Exercise more, lose 10-15 lbs, eat healthier. Join a gym. Consider swimming. "Just do it."
I would like to improve myself and my life for the following year by being true to myself and stay at the moment. Whatever I am focused on, even if it is taking a shower or eating a french fry, I am committed into investing my energy into enjoying it for what it is. I believe when I simplify my goal, is becomes more manageable and easier to achieve than having a laundry list of goals which won't be feasible to me in the end.
This coming year, I want to beat the cancer and recover from the prostate surgery. That would be a big improvement.
I feel stuck. I don't think I made any strides from last year to this year. I didn't accomplish my goals -- yes, I got Hannah settled back at NYU and Sammy in Israel. I'm glad about those two things, but they made those steps independently. I didn't improve my financial stability. I didn't find or keep a job (WMATA notwithstanding). I didn't devote the time and attention to my marriage. I felt, and continue to feel, paralyzed. I doom scroll. I waste time. I get nothing really accomplished. Honestly, I don't know what piece of advice or counsel I received this year that can guide me. Perhaps it's the phrase that someone said just the other day: find your north star and work towards it. I guess it means truly trying to figure out where true north is.
Be less reserved. Be more pro-active in synagogue life.
Just like last year lose weight, exercise more, particularly walking and improve my balance.
Show appreciation to my friends, show love always.
Mel Robbins has inspired me. The let them Theory. But with regards to some people, I can’t let them get away with it. It’s affecting me. They need to abide by the rules. I am so busy I just want to relax when I get home, not deal with stupid people. I want a peaceful quiet life.
I’d like to continue to open up my world, find new experiences and meet new people. Building on the foundation of joy that I’ve established this year, I want to maintain my spirit of exploration and curiosity. Of great importance to me is to not fall back into old and limiting routines, which is a default mode when I am tired.
No re the advice bit. I need to lose the weight i put on on holiday. And I should be a better parent but…whatever
I would like to say yes to more things outside of my usual routine. In the past year, I’ve had great advice about moving on in my career to different industry.
Take the lessons of your “yes era” and turn them into the philosophy of your life! Follow your passions, spend time honing your crafts, try new things, commit to projects that fulfill you, and give back to your communities! You can always catch up on sleep, so don’t pass on potentially transformative moments and memories! Don’t waste your precious time on this planet
Grow deep. Write. Read. Figure out what writing is to me, make my way through my own way of becoming. Make art. Paint. I can't think of advice I received except my own insight that now is the time to deepen my roots, to fully inhabit where I have landed.
A piece of advice I got a couple of years ago that I still want to remember is, "Worry less." This was told to my by a pregnant English lady in Bali when I asked if she had had any GI troubles with any of the foods or juices there. It was great advice, and I have tried to keep it in mind when traveling. Be smart, be cautious, but LIVE and have fun! What will be, will be. I will definitely be improving my life in the next year as I move to Spain in 37 weeks. I cannot wait to GTFO of this dystopian hellscape where we treat our most vulnerable citizens like criminals and people can't afford or see the need for education and healthcare. I will never look back. I'm also looking to improve myself by working out more and losing a little more weight.
I am continuing on the theme of my physical strength. I truly hope to be walking straight and strong. With some speed and no fear of distance, elevation gain etc. I want to mend a broken fence between a dear and beloved niece and I. The advice: Breathe. Let it all come to you and manifest what you need ! It can happen.
LOL! I just read my answer from last year. It would seem I'm not doing too well! A piece of advice I received didnt come from last year, but I still hear my late rabbi's voice telling me, Be good to yourself... He believed in me, even when I was at my worst. So, I would love to follow his advice, and be good to myself. I would like to get rid of all the negative thoughts and attitudes, get rid of all the unreasonable guilt, all the self-hatred and bitterness. And all the rage-- oh, the rage!! As I've gotten older, my life has gotten so much harder. Being good to myself sometimes feels impossible. But I've never known my rabbi z"l to be wrong!
“Slow your brain” advice from my husband. Find a better balance, or new perspective so my life feels calmer, more in my control, and improve and increase the ways I take care of myself.
I am working towards being a better advocate for myself, and allowing myself time to rest, recharge, and care for my body.
I would like to complete a plan to give myself a year of travel in 2027-2028. I would lease my house, store my personal affects, and have a starting place that is less expensive than where I live now. Here is the piece of advice I have for myself: I don't have to know before I try; I can discover as I go.
I would like to improve my time management, and increase my physical capacity for a trip to Israel. I have never been, and now that I'm 78, I'll need to make myself stronger and get in better shape to the extent that I can.
Be the poet I am. Write for the joy and fulfillment of it not for acknowledgement or praise.
Stop comparing my journey to others and worrying about whether people are judging me. I want to go out and try and experience new things without living in fear or worrying about "what will people think". I want to have tried and experienced 4 new things that I would have been too scared to do in the past.
I really need to continue to define myself by something other than my career. I'd like to broaden how I see my value to the world. I also hope to continue my evolution to a healthier self. I've made great strides on diet and exercise, still working on better sleep and better overall care of my body.
Discipline, compassion, and perspective are all area for improvement. The DISCIPLINE to stick to sleep schedules, fitness plans, diet, the COMPASSION to listen to others, empathize with their stories. And that includes my sisters and sister-in-law, my wife, and all the people in my life. Finally, PERSPECTIVE includes seeing this odd time of King Trump (Part II) in the longer context of American and world history!
Cálmate, says my husband. Calm yourself (please). This is how I could match the energy of the moment, rather than ramp things up. It would be an improvement if I tuned in to myself and remembered to tap into the calmer parts of my experience so my roller coaster of daily life could be less intense. I know how to find a refuge of calm in my experience simply by being mindful of my turmoil and allowing it to go on, move ahead, and subside. This calm experience of mine spreads when I find it, especially to my husband who treasures the moments we have quality time in this capacity. It is rejuvenating for him. I'll share these answers that are so much about him. I hope to get a message across of how he is the center of my love and life.
Write. Write a lot. Write for fun.
We don’t have the time we think. No regrets. Or a version of that. My mom dying (suddenly but not unexpectedly) really brought a lot into focus.
Sigh... I don't feel a need to improve myself. I am a good person, who does no harm, and who tries to inject a bit of positivity into all my interactions with others. To improve my life, as I have mentioned, I would like to be less sedentary, but physical issues (hip and knee problems) have been limiting my ability to be active.
I would like to be more clean and positive in the depths of challenges. That relationships are hard that will be challenges but you know when you find the right person challenges will be worth. Do not settle for people who will bring you down.
I want to be free. My job, how much money I have, the things I buy- they are going to be completely worthless to me on my deathbed. All anyone will have is memories and regrets. I would like to have as few regrets as possible. I want to live a life that's adventurous and daring and authentic.
Too often, life becomes a scroll. Like this: I pick up the device. I check the mail. Never much interesting in the often empty little envelope. Just the potential for some interesting information, maybe a hello from the past. A word about something sent to some magazine! No. Just junk. Some company has updated its terms and conditions. The outfit that makes the trousers I like is having a sale I won't want to miss. I can have the erection I always needed and maintain it all night long! Solutions I didn't know I needed to problems I didn't know I had. Once l check the mail, l’ve got my phone in hand, why not ask a question, check to see how my boys are doing, Instagram, Twitter and I am off to the races. An hour later my stomach is sour and I too am a hateful zombie. The opportunity cost! But worse. My soul is pulled into the muck. "Queer" was such a good story and not as good because I checked the scores and l attended the vapid chatter so I didn't really read “queer" or the rest of Winesburg, Ohio. I half read it after all those years of meaning to do so. We interrupt this program to blast you into the Trumpian nastiness, untruth, in hopes of selling you on something you didn't know you needed and you do not. I stay anxious. I remain unsure. Where is the off switch? This year I am going to stop the scroll. I’ll check the news and the scores at one time and that is it. Mail, Google, Instagram from X:00 to Y:00, and that’s that. It is decreed.
I’d like to begin aggressively saving and investing for the financial future of my new home and my growing teenage children.
My plan is to continue to live my best life and make sure to do everything i can to stay healthy and successful
I'm not really sure plans can be made at this point. Certainly the Heritage Foundation intends to put LGBTQ people into concentration camps for "re-education" and kill those who won't pretend to be straight. That will affect our family and a lot of people I know, including some of my clients. It's hard to get them to take the threat seriously, though. Eventually all non-christians will be expelled, though I expect Jews to all be deported to Israel (with nothing but the shirts on our backs) because that fits with their end-times cosplay that we will all return there and convert to christianity. Which, of course, is never going to happen. But they continue to believe in fairy tales. That may be father in the future, but one thing that is not is a steep recession, if not an outright economic collapse.
I hope to transition out of my day job and make my second career into my primary career. After much research in the past year, I feel that my day job is holding me back from becoming the person I want to be. Of course, it is not really that easy to walk away from my primary job. After spending over 3 decades there, I would be walking away from a great deal of severance if I just leave. There is always talk of layoffs, and if that happens next year, then the decision will be made for me. Either way, I need to move on. I pray that it happens the way I want this coming year.
I want to master the art of the pause before i react or Judge. I want to strengthen my relationships—one on one, rather than trying to impress a crowd. I want to lean in to retirement, by slowing down my pace but not so much that i become lazy—just slow enough to notice all of the beautiful things surrounding me.
I really want to be more pro-active and braver when it comes to taking care of my health. Stand up for myself the way I would stand up for others. Be brave and trust in God.
Maybe just my own advice. Have a financial future. I think about my body and mind so much. Continue to be in the BEST shape of my life -that is really thinking about my future self—be happy and consistent. Be true to who I am. Be kind. Gentle. Be too much if I am. Be okay.
More nature! More slowness! More community! Less screens please please please.
I would like to resume taking salsa dancing classes. As I feel free whenever I move my body. Time stands still.
I would like to become a better listener. Wise council in this respect is a quote I read somewhere. "I can disagree with your opinion, it turns out, I cannot disagree with your experience. And once I have a sense of your experience, you and I are in a relationship..... Listening less guardedly the difference in our opinions will probably remain intact, but it no longer defines what is possible between us." (Krista Tippett)
I started traveling again this year. Nashville with Amy and an Alaska cruise with my sister. I'd like to continue that trend. Marshall and I are getting along fine, I guess, but we don't really do anything together or talk about much. I realize he's depressed (?) about not having a job. Hopefully that will change this year. But I'd like for him to tell me about his day. To not just come home and go to his room and shut the door. We chat when we go out to dinner, but I'd like to work toward more. Perhaps I will talk to him about that.
I would love for my sleep to get better. I would love to be an early riser. Up by 6am. Go for a walk and get that morning light into me. I would love for my kids to be early risers as well. I hope William's sleep gets better in order for me to do this. Perhaps the two kids could share a bedroom and they might comfort one another to sleep, rather than relying on sleeping with a parent.
I intend to move even more deeply toward a whole grain, plant based diet. The plants themselves are guiding me toward this, more or less telepathically and in dreamtime, although some humans are out there broadcasting this message, too. The beauty of Sunlight is captured by plants and they offer that back to us. Eat the rainbow Friends!
I believe I'd still give myself the same advice as I have over the past couple of years: slow down! However, now, in my mid-50s, my body is telling me that too! ha-ha! I need to focus more on time spent with my grandkids, our aging parents, and quality time with my husband. Less "work" and more "family." Like I said last year: If I keep working these long, hard hours, I'll end my life having done nothing but work. I need to find a balance."
Need less external affirmation. Trust my own worth more
I've managed to get my weight down to 139-141 depending on the day - haven't been below 140 since COVID - not that it really matters clothes still fit, but the age factor which I can't do anything about physically is starting to show. Getting better at the "advice" from last year - not letting little things bother me as much, or TRYING to not let little things bother me as much, like the SCREAMING brats and, dare I say MEXICAN Section 8-ers who moved in and really wrecked what used to be a very nice apartment complex which leads me to the "improve" part of the question which is as much as I don't want the hassel, we have to make plans to move - depending on finances. This year is pretty much the same as last - working to pay bills, working cause MY "bill" hasn't for 30 YEARS - trying to focus on all the positives of this marriage and just let all the negative blow away - cause the past is, well, past and all that CAN be done is getting through it one day, one minute at a time. Other than all THAT, I'm pretty much as improved as I can get at... 71, that's about it! I AM the very BEST that I can, or ever will BE!!
Breathe and go slow. You are more than your career and more than a mom and wife. You might not know what that actually looks like, but try things this year so you can figure it out.
Declutter my life and my head. Work to get the ability to keep on a more emotionally quiet range. I have my Mom's worry gene which needs to be disciplined.
I think this coming year I will work harder at putting down my phone & picking up a book. I just finished reading a novel that reignited my enjoyment AND peacefulness of turning physical pages & "seeing" things in my mind's eye rather than always relying on someone else's vision.
There are a couple and both come from the same person. I’ve read the book, “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” twice this year so far and may do so again now that I’m thinking about it. Anyway, the title alone is enough to understand the gist of the book and the main thing I got from it. Just because I think it, doesn’t make it true. I would do well to remember that any time a thought bubbles up from the void. The other quote from the same author comes from another of his books. The quote goes something like, “Life isn’t fair, it’s balanced”. This wasn’t really new information to me, but when it’s put so succinctly, it hit me like a ton of bricks. This is the metaphysical version of Newton’s Third Law: “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. It’s not a 1:1 equivalent of course, but the principle still applies. When you look at your decisions in this way, it opens up a whole new way of thinking. You start to question, “If I do this, what am I giving up in its place?”. This could be taken to an unskillful extreme where it prevents you from advancing, but it can also help you make good decisions, like reading a book instead of doomscrolling.
Kyle mentioned that one thing he learned in the past year is that all of the little learnings add up - keep going with the trainings and learn one thing a day for work or related to science even if it seems like there’s too much to know
It's always the same thing, exercise more and be more patient
I would like to launch my mentoring/training for professionals service and have it take off properly. I mentored Tal Sharon for 4-5 months this last year, and it was helpful for her and instructive for me as well, I learned much in doing that. - I was passed up this year for a job I wanted because my certificate from my studies is not an academic degree. This is not the first time this has happened, so I'm considering going back and completing a degree.
Zoek de verbondenheid met de Eeuwige. Zorg goed voor je zelf, zodat je voor de ander kunt zorgen. Zoek rust en stilte om je gevoel te ervaren, en handel dan vanuit balans Zoek de middenweg en vertrouw op G'd.
I want to be more centered and at peace with a new focus on what actually matters, what I can control, and how to let go of what I can’t. The coach I’m working with right now told me I have trained the people in my life that I will fix things, rescue situations, make it better. And then I victimize myself when I DO swoop in, and frustrated with them that they can’t or won’t do it themselves or aren’t more competent. I’d never been hit with the truth of it quite that way before. I’m going to work on not stepping in, letting things fail, and protecting my own peace over the needs of others. It’s easier said than done but shifting that triangle even just a little would bring me more peace, less anxiety, better health.
"Never know what is going to happen." Want to become more balanced and peaceful.
Advice to my future self ... Go to bed early. Eat healthy. Eat breakfast Less sugar. Less cheese. Tidy up Dress well Read a book instead of playing computer games Getting inspired. Do something spiritual Try be happy put yourself first more trust yourself do the fucking YouTube videos. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You've always trusted yourself before you need to start trusting yourself again. It's more important now than ever. But hey, no pressure! 🤣
I would like to be more accepting of others as well as myself by recognizing that no one is perfect and we all have room for improvement. Advice from last year: 1)Recite the Serenity Prayer often. When in doubt, pray. 2) Have faith in G-d. 3) Try always to do G-d’s will by asking “G-d, what do You want me to do right now?”
To listen more than a speak. To take a step back and breathe before responding. To choose kindness
Oooh this is such a good question. I think maybe my own mantra I came up with: "there are multiple ways to be worthy." Because it works for me, and also interacting with others. Just because someone doesn't do what I'd like or hope, they are still worthy.
