Q10

When September 2010 rolls around and you receive your answers to your 10Q questions, how do you think you'll feel? What do you think/hope might be different about your life and where you're at as a result of pondering these questions?

When September 2010 rolls around and you receive your answers to your 10Q questions, how do you think you’ll feel? What do you think/hope might be different about your life and where you’re at as a result of pondering these questions?

I hope I will have answered some of the questions I have asked. But I expect I may have more questions.

I hope this will give me a better gauge of time. A lot of the time I feel like I'm so incredibly busy but still not getting anything done. I hope that these questions highlighting this moment in time, September 2009, will give my September 2010 self a greater perception of how much I can and do accomplish in a year. I strive to continue growing throughout my life, choosing paths that challenge and invigorate me. Only 12 days into the new year and I've already experienced so much grief and heartbreak in so many different ways. I'm a survivor.

I hope I don't have that feeling of, "Oh shit, here I am making the same declarations I make over and over and never fulfill every year." Like all those awful New Years resolutions to lose weight. I hope I can say that I took some steps, even small ones, to make some of this stuff more of a reality.

I hope that I am not quite as tortured as I am now. If I haven't yet gone to the anxiety hypnotist, then if I still feel this way in a year, I should. The anxiety is taxing. I'd like to be free.

Fuck. Either liberated, weeping at my bravery, as I sit at my computer in Tel Aviv. Or full of regret in London, wishing I had taken this time to do what I have to do. Am at a turning point. Fork in the road. I hope I don't let work or fear stop me from taking the right path. Maybe there is no right path. So I'll always be questioning the road not taken; maybe even allowing it to overwhelm me. Don't think anything will be different about me as a result of answering these questions; these hostages to fortune. Maybe not wanting to read them next year and realise I haven't done what I need to do will make me do it! Who knows.

I just hope things have changed. Monotony is killing me, hence my possible relocation.

As a result of one of the questions, I have decided to start pushing myself to make clocks. The plan is to make one a week thru-out 2010. I haven't told anyone about it. I want to do it on my own. I also plan to photograph them and post the pictures (on facebook maybe) once a week. I'm working on the designs now, 13 different designs, 4 variations each. I'm really excited about it. I hope I can hold myself to it. Beyond that, I don't think I'll be surprised to read my answers, they will probably still be applicable.

I would like to feel as though I'd learned something, and grown. As much as I'm dreading typing this, my hope is that I might be in love by this time next year. But I'm working on trying not to focus so narrowly on that. I guess as it relates to these questions my hope is what I always hope for and that's seeing things as they are and not as I hope they'd be (or fear they'd be...) I've been reminded a lot lately of a quote from Anais Nin: "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are."

I hope I will feel encouraged and perhaps surprised by my progress over the past year. I know many things about my life will be different because I am currently at a crossroad. I am trying not to predict, but to respond fully to the daily dilemmas. It's really beyond me at this point in time.

I really hope that by this time next year I am more grounded and my life is more stable with direction. I hope that by next year I will have gained insight and wisdom and am able to look back at these questions and laugh.

I think that I feel like it was a lifetime ago that I answered these questions. I hope that I will feel less raw emotionally and that I will have some peace in relation to the death of my daughter.

Probably amused. A little disappointed in myself for some of the things that i chose as answers. I'd like to be able to be proud of myself for following through, even if it's just one follow-through. Hopefully at this point next year I'll just be a better person in general. Hopefully I won't be completely broke, I won't be drinking as much as I have this year, and with that I won't use alcohol as a means to potentially finally hook up with someone. Money and alcohol were undoubtedly two of my biggest issues last year. And I don't want a repeat this year. Answering these questions has brought about a little more self-awareness, as well as awareness on a much larger level. And I hope that by answering them, I'll have a little better focus for the year to come.

I hope, no, I'm pretty sure that I'll be better, as I'm not in a good place emotionally right now. I know things will change. I know that I can change. It's just going to be really, really hard to break the patterns that I keep falling into. It's good to think about moving forward because it allows me to keep things in perspective. It's so easy to think that something will be a certain way forever.

I really hope that I've followed my own advice. I hope by then that a child will be in the not distant future. I hope my wife will have found a great job. I hope that I can look back, and say "I had to work and sleep and commute and take care of business, just the same as I had in all the previous years of my life. But this year, unlike all the past years, I used those few free hours I had every day to better myself, and better the world, a little bit at a time, one day at a time, and after a year, I can see the change and I'm glad I did it."

I hope that I will be comfortable being on the journey and maybe not having arrived yet at the destination. I keep trying to jump from A to C. I can find alot of happiness at B if I let myself.

I hope I won't feel like I'm still dealing with the same old issues of weight and self esteem, but will have a more orderly apartment, kids who aren't dependent on me, and will have figured out how to deal with my husband's needs in a way that fundamentally helps him.

I doubt I'll be much different as a result of 10Q - most of these questions are things I already think about all the time. I'm actually hoping that I will be able to STOP thinking about improving my life so much and just live it.

I hope that my experience with breast cancer, which has consumed so much of my life this year, will only be a small part of my day-to-day life.

These questions have helped and reminded me some of the very important aspects of being in a relationship, family, extended family, and community along with a growing spiritual practice. I hope that I find I am continuing with all of these things. Most of the answers involve lifelong attention….

I can only hope I won't feel like a hamster on a treadmill. I haven't quite give up hoping that change is still possible at my age (52) but it sure is hard. 

I'll probably be nostalgic. Then critical. If I've learned anything in the past year, it's that the future is a total mystery, and you just have to see where things take you. So I don't think or hope things will be different. I know they'll be different. I just hope I'll be happy wherever and whatever I'm doing.

I imagine I will be settling into my role as a married woman. Right now it seems so vast and wide before me, I feel like I will get lost in it. But I have faith I will find my way.

I've noticed how sad many of my answers are and it's made me realize that I'm in a pretty stressful place at this time in my life. Of course I *knew* that in one sense, but I spend so much time coping that I hadn't thought about how much the stress and frustration of this time has infused how I see the world, how I experience myself. I feel more compassionate with myself being in this sad place. I hope that 2010 brings more lightness and joy, and that many of the things that are currently weighing on me will be resolved.