What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year?
I fear that I am not actually capable Of running my own life anymore. I just keep trying to incorporate coping strategies.
I've definitely been getting caught in the throes of decision fatigue lately, a virtual deer in headlights about making the right choice (especially lately with moving) now that I have two small children instead of one. I'd like to get better at managing that, and not so caught up in all the small decisions we mothers have to make a million times a day.
I have learned in this time of isolation that I fear my presence in the world — I fear I'll make mistakes, waste my one chance, not be noble enough or help my community enough. Ever since I mostly biked and read books as a kid — learning how to ask for what I want and how to know what it is, and to risk being foolish or falling on my face — have always felt like barriers to living authentically. And I am bright — I can talk a good game that looks authentic without actually living from my own core with my real questions and my real concerns, my real successes and real failures. It has always been easier to pick up a book than to direct my own life. (And also when I am not reading several times a week I stop and feel anxious about my brain atrophying.) Limits, balance, priorities feel so slippery. Who am "I" and which people are "mine" and how do I Live Out Loud? Fear. Fear. Fear. Each day during Covid I wake up and have to make decisions — what will I do all day? How do I spend my time? Even doing art I will sometimes put on TV. To come into consciousness in the world each day is to confront a set of ways to live up to potential or disappoint. And boy do I have deep trouble with lists and overwhelm. This is why camping is easier, the priority list is blessedly simple. First, shelter, second food, third, fun, fourth, rest. I feel like this year I have begun to understand that each day is an opportunity to live engaged with what I want from the world (it might say yes or no or maybe) and what the world wants from me (I might say yes or no or maybe)— or to distance and hide. I would rather be engaged I think than finding ways to hide all the time. Books are good, but not as good as your own book you need to write.
I think I assume that poly never works long term so I wonder if I can let go of that. Anxiety anticipating anxiety would be good to let go of too. Fears around future relationships w my parents
I have a fear that my mother is getting older. She is my best friend as well as being my mom. I don't really have other friends that are "my friends". I have friends that "I am their friend" if that makes sense. Not to many people get me in a way where I feel safe to share my true self and opinions with. People I can just tell about my day. I know that is on me. But I also have no idea how to build those relationships. As I get older I see the growing need for a mutual support system of friends. I don't know how to do that, I am great at being by myself. Happily so. I have my mom and my boyfriend of almost 8 years. I am reliant on the two of them for my entire social interaction. I have long conversations with both of them daily and that is perfect for me. Almost too perfect. So, I have a fear that when/if this perfect bubble breaks. I am not sure how I will fair. So, I am reaching out to my friends and trying to build better relationships with them.
Fear of making things worse. Fear of futility. Fear of worthlessness. For example, I was afraid to open the washing machine control panel because I might ruin things just trying to access the controls. But the machine was already broken. Instead of thinking, "What if the worse happens?" I will think, "What if I have thought of enough? What if I am enough? What if I know enough? What if things go right? What if no matter what, it will all be alright?"
Don’t be afraid to push yourself beyond your comfort zone, metaphorically or literally. On New Year’s Day 2021, I went off-road biking, which would’ve been unimaginable even months earlier. Shortly into the excursion, I found myself splayed in a muddy puddle. Yet I gingerly got back on my bike and completed with outing without complaint (though with a bit more caution).
I live in fear of rejection from other people when they see who I really am. I am terrified that I will scare them away so I am never myself. I really want to care less about what others think of me so that I can be who I really am without fear.
I’ve been quarantining pretty aggressively for my mom and my sister. I would like to get back out in the world. Once mom gets her third booster I will feel safer.
I was not able to have another unmedicated labor and delivery. After two natural births. The toll this year has had on me. I could not. I did not have the strength. I feel like I failed my husband. Everything compounded. Post partum depression. Tried meds, but had serious side effects. Talk therapy next. I don't want this to affect my marriage and my relationship with my children. I'll keep you posted.
I have major imposter syndrome. Fears of failure. I set myself up to fail by following those breadcrumbs. I plan on letting those old stories go by embracing my curiosity (it's been here all along!) to just be the best I can be... and to learn the things that I've always wanted to learn/understand... how to craft a persuasive argument, basic statistics, how to paint. I want to live outside of the tiny postage stamp that anxiety boxes me in. I will get there by taking care of myself - drinking all the fizzy water my heart desires and not resorting to the temporary symptom relief of alcohol.
I have lots of fears of motherhood. Especially how some harm could come to the little person I helped create and am raising. I hope to release some of those fears enough to start showing get the world. And so I can be a happier healthier less anxious parent.
I suppose I am afraid of not knowing how to do something perfectly, so I do not try that new thing at all. I need to embrace "going for it" with ideas. Also, I am always afraid of bad things happening to people I love, and that limits me by taking up too much mental space. My plan to let it go? Come up with a mantra whenever those thoughts come to mind: "I have everything I need" or "Let it go."
At my age, I have pretty much incorporated my fears into the whole gestalt of 'me'. I have also reached a point in my life where I finally rather like 'me'. So 'letting go' or 'overcoming' those fears means changing ME, and I do not know if I am prepared for that. I don't know if I will ever be prepared for that. There are the normal fears - loud noises, snakes and spiders, and there are the personal fears - of looking foolish or stupid, of doing something embarrassing in public - and then I suppose there are major life changing fears, of losing my mental abilities, of becoming a stranger - At any rate, my current strategy is (for me at least) exceptionally hard - learning to live in 'now', and trying not to plan/worry for the distant and unknowable future. Having been an over-planner my entire life, and why wait to worry THEN when you can do plenty of worrying right NOW? type of person generally. Besides being over anxious ANYWAY, and pretty sure the entire state of the world is somehow My Responsibility - This is really hard. It is something I know I must work on, for my own well being (also to avoid going totally crazy) but it is very, very hard. So - I'm working on that thing. Mindfulness. Whatever it is called. It is - sadly - a stranger to me, largely. But I'm working on it.
I am afraid of writing, more of not being "Good enough" and of being criticized. But I really want to write, so, I have signed up for 2 writing courses (one online so that I am more "invisible" and one with a small group of people). I have overcome other fears, but this one makes me feel blocked and powerless.
Afraid I will end up alone and poor and sick and nobody caring enough about me to take care of me if I'm diagnosed with a terminal disease or something that requires hospice care. No parents, no siblings, no friends left, not enough savings to live on if I had to. I'm terrified. This county doesn't care about the poor and sick.
Spreading COVID. Weirdly, I'm not afraid of getting ill, I'm just afraid that I'll be responsible for getting others sick. This is mostly because I have in-laws in their 90s; they are still active and we like to be able to see them. In other words, I fear bearing responsibility. Limiting in that I have kept pretty isolated from friends and colleagues. In-laws will be getting a booster/third shot so that provides a bit of comfort. But I really need to get my friendships back on the front burner and get out more. I'll have to take more risk to make that happen.
Fear of letting go. It's limited me by making me do a lot at once, getting me overwhelmed and stressed out sometimes, unable to enjoy the things in my life that I'm actually quite free to choose between. I'll overcome it with help from my coach and my therapist. I've set myself up pretty well in terms of growth and accountability :)
I fear that my business is not as sustainable as it seems, and that paralyses me in some ways. I am working on defeating the notion of my being doomed to fail by restarting my professional education, and caring more for my physical self.
I fear being broken. I have spent so much of the past two years in some.kund of physical recover that it starts to feel like I'll never be whole again, and when I feel like that - when I lose hope - then everything else starts to slip. I want to release into learning what -this- body can do, rather than bemoaning anything it can't. I want to joy in the bounded universe.
my big fear is always that I am not good enough or Good enough. It prevents me from being vulnerable in ways that facilitate friendship, and leads to a lot of nasty self-judgment. This year, I am working on self-compassion and honoring my own impulses, instincts, and desires (even writing that is hard because there’s a little voice in my head telling me those are Bad), and taking the risk of reaching out.
I think I fear death. Not in an ominous sort of way but in the way that it is always looming as someone with stage 3 cancer. I am working on accepting death in a way of living my life. I am going to do everything I can and want in life and not let the pressure of possibly dying hinder my ability to live.
What always comes to mind is that I am afraid of not being perfect. It’s lifelong and I don’t know how to overcome it. I am hopeful that turning 50 and seeing my body & my life change and become more challenging in some ways and much better in other ways might ease me towards the idea that I can be any version of myself and that’s still just fine. I also think I should go back to the idea of learning banjo or painting… Try to find joy in something that I’m not terribly good at! There is also something for me around fear of hurting myself physically. I’ve had so many accidents and scares and times on crutches, so I feel scared sometimes about doing physically daring things. And I’m glad that I don’t need to ever skydive or bungee jump…or even go skiing again. But I think I can be more proactive about doing the things that aren’t a scary… longer and harder bike rides and hikes. Challenges that feel doable. Maybe rollerskating!
I’m desperately afraid of poverty snd failure. I don’t know if that will ever change. I’m afraid of the numbers in our bank account. I’m afraid of the numbers on our account balances and how much we owe. I know it’s all going to be ok but the fear eats me alive sometimes. I’m afraid of new things and beginning again even though starting over almost always ends up well. I’ve never had a disaster that I haven’t been able to recover from and I don’t know why I imagine the worst case scenario - maybe because then I’ll be prepared for it? I guess.
Needles. I need to commit to that research Amy did for me. Then I can even consider a vaccine.
My biggest fear is that I will die before I do all I want to do with my life. That I will leave to many tasks undone and too many things unsaid. I fear that I will not have a chance to explain my feeling and thoughts on important topics to my friends and family. For this coming year, I will try to focus on communications and completing tasks - even if it means completing some tasks in a less than completely satisfying manner. I will try to communicate my thoughts and opinions to my family friends with greater completeness --- in case I do not get another chance to share these thoughts.
I have a fear of not being able to make enough money to support myself. I’m going to push through that fear through many different ways. I’m going to continue to grow and sell mushrooms, I’m going to buy a PA system and begin to do live sound again, and I’m going to live my life, trusting in the Universe to provide on a day-to-day basis.
Going out in public places. I don’t like being on my own much, so I would like to work on that this year as I don’t feel able to go shopping or anything without assistance
That I won't succeed in the academic job market. I'm anxiety procrastinating so that I can use not being done this PhD to avoid dealing with next steps. I am applying for postdocs and TT jobs so that I have to be done.
I'm always afraid of the depression and anxiety getting bad again. But now that I've got some relief from it, for a while...what excuse do I have for not making myself the best I can be? Nothing for it but to do the work, I guess.
Fear of not measuring up to my expectations I put on myself. Fear of succeeding in a way. It has limited me because it prevents me from giving something my all and really going for it.
I beat myself up a lot in order to make myself act in a way that is kind and polite to others. I'm so afraid of hurting other people that I overthink everything. I'm working on this in therapy and hope I will be better about this next year.
I feel so much less scared than I did last year, or I have done in years past. I don’t think that fear controls much of my life anymore, even if they are still present. I am confident in myself and my illness, my work, my friendships (usually, that one might need some work). Maybe that should be my letting go: of needing to be liked by everyone, when I don’t like everyone. Hold on - there’s still something I’m terrified of, which is being told off. So I will work on that with my wonderful therapist - but I think it’s connecting to needing to be liked by everyone.
I’m afraid that people won’t like me and that I’m doomed to live alone the rest of my life. Therapy is really starting to help with this fear.
That I'm not worthy enough. That I'm not unique, that my perspective doesn't matter. It holds me back in every creative venture, ever. I want to shed that. Who cares? Create for myself, create for others who have shared experiences that might want to hear what I have to say. Mostly, just create.
I am learning to open up to others and not be afraid of their judgement. I hold back to much of myself and I shouldn't.
I fear being out of control. Of not being able to direct a situation. I don't know that I plan to let go. But, I would like to let loose.
Fear of failure. I think it has been limiting me (to some extent) my whole life. Inhibits risk-taking, slows decision-making, annoys people who it impacts. I don't know exactly how to overcome it, but I need to be bolder and braver--it would benefit me and so many people around me. Also, failing to act or acting slowly is often a failure in itself, which I've seen. So the fear of failure that often manifests as slowness or inaction.... ironically often leads to failure anyway. This is something to ponder. There's something to be said for going down trying. That phrase "get caught trying" might be helpful here. This is a good question.
My deepest fear is that I am not living up to my full potential. Another fear I have is that I have "made the wrong choices" in life and that I won't be able to have the things that I most deeply desire - a loving and thoughtful partnership, a family, a meaningful career, and a life of integrity. In the coming year, I am going to continue to dedicate time and attention to parsing out the thoughts and narratives that I hold about myself that limit me from attaining these things.
I am beginning to experience some fear around whether I am doing parenting "right." Is he hitting his milestones on time (and if not, is that my fault)? Is he sleeping well (and if not, what should I do to fix that)? Am I speaking enough French with him? Am I introducing enough variety of solid foods? Etc., etc. I know I need to let a lot of that go. I hope that in the next year, as he becomes a toddler, it will be easier for me to see that whatever I'm doing, it's "right"/"enough" and for that fear to lessen.
No fears. Even with the pandemic and off and on periods of self isolation, I don't feel limited in doing the things I want to.
I am afraid that I won't be able to handle hard things. I want to let it go by challenging myself and doing things out of my comfort zone like biking more, traveling, and sharing with others.
I have a fear of being alone and lonely. This keeps me from just enjoying myself. I feel I need to be with someone often. I also have a fear of people knowing the real me, with all my faults, the deceptions, the petty thefts, the cheating, the other shameful things I have done and on a small scale do occasionally today. I feel guilty a lot of the time. This inhabits and infects my brain. I will continue to check myself when I get these types of urges. I have made much improvement.
I still have no fears! I love what is.
My fear of initiating contact with others has continued to limit my development of social relationships. I hope that soon COVID is under control enough to have more opportunities to work on this and that I will be able to push myself to initiate interactions with others at events, classes that I am involved in.
I'm afraid of having to answer to this every year. I'm afraid I'll look back and say to myself that nothing has changed--that I made the reflection and the accountability, but not the growth. I think I need to think more about how, moment to moment, I can make growth, even if it's not large-scale. This way when I review the answers next year, it won't just be that nothing positive changed from this year, but that something made my life better.
My greatest fear is always fear or not doing enough. I don't think it limits me. I think it's my greatest motivator. I guess I have a bit of imposter syndrome with writing etc. I've gotten better with it, more confident. I have some trauma with BP and parenting that I want to address in therapy. Also plan to talk about the whole comparing and wanting better thing.
My chronic perennial anxiety comes from an existential fear of the proverbial shoe dropping, which keeps me on a risk-averse edge. Perhaps the meditation practice will help with this. I also have been worried all of my adult life about having financial stress, and this leads to my csomewhat compulsive sale shopping behavior. Maybe I can consciously rein this in or attempt to override it, without changing too much, at least not quickly as a try to develop a stronger sense of overall well being.
I am afraid of people being angry or disappointed with me. I will fret over someone else's feelings based on nothing but what's in my own mind, or do things that are not in my own best interests to avoid hurting someone else. I want to be kind and caring to people, but I also need to remember that people's feelings are their own responsibility, and that until someone tells me that something has harmed or frustrated them, I need to remind myself that I do not know what is going on for them. In terms of letting go of this - I am going back into therapy and this pattern of people pleasing and obsessing about what I imagine someone else to be feeling about me will be a major topic!
A fear I have is definitely have too much responsibility, getting criticized, getting turned down. I would like to push through that, to achieve on projects and strategies in the corporate world, to continue to improve.
Always my fear of instability, always. How to be stable, "responsible," adult, when also trying to do the things that make life worth living at all. (I probably have a few hobbies to let go of, like gardening and trying to cook - but that's not what I mean here) How? I don't know. I'm making good money now - I suppose I need to start squirreling some of it away instead of squandering it as if it will never show up again (remnants from a childhood of scarcity, no doubt). How do I balance the pressures of adult life and"having enough," hungry ghost that I am - with the inner drive to make things, to sing, to dance and perform above all. Where is the time for connection, for love? When will that start to smart? Or: how will you ease into your midlife professional life? Will it be fruitful? Exciting? Best of all time? Finally the thing you want? Or... will it be a chill respite and a way to pay the bills (rather than a stressful rocketship of certain death by heart attack to pay the bills). Also will you ever get to do anything on your dreams list? I guess it's time to really look at that, as we really enter the second half of life. (I dunno though, I plan on dying at the young age of 247.) I think that's the big thing to answer in 2022.
That my personality isn't 'good' enough for certain things. That I'm not 'big' enough, that I don't have anything to say, that I'm not as clever as I thought I was. The need to prove to myself that this is not true is strong - and this is linked to a career change.
I am scared of so much. I am hyper-critical of my interactions. It holds me back constantly because I am devoting energy on something I don’t even need to. I plan to continue to chip away at the reasons why I am so scared.
I think I'm a bit scared to let my children go without me. Robbe is so exhausting and I enjoy the peace and quiet everytime he's away at daycare or when we're visiting family who plays with him. Still, letting him be with family without me, is a huge step I'm not really comfortable to take. Is it this insane idea that I should be able to do everything on my own? Is it a lack of trust? Either way, I think Lotte's arrival might make it easier for me to let go of Robbe. And who knows - maybe by actually letting Robbe sleepover at his grandparents, I'll feel comfortable about letting someone else take care of Lotte, too?
Fuck I'm afraid of so much. Of Trumpistan. Afraid of right wing extremists. Afraid America is crumbling. Afraid democracy is undoing. Afraid the wealth gap, is irreconcilable. Afraid the climate crisis is unavoidable. Afraid I don't really have any friends left, and i'm too old to make new ones at this point. I don't really know what to do about nay of these things😐 It's dark times
I definitely have a strong fear of failure and rejection too, and it's limited me from putting myself out there and being vulnerable with my professional skills. I don't think I will ever be able to completely let those fears go, but I can embrace them and live more wholeheartedly.
GOD! I have a fear that I don't deserve what I want or desire. I fear that I will fail. I fear I will succeed. I have a lot of fear holding me back. I love asking myself. If I were to look through the eyes of God, what would God have me be, do, have? How to I plan on letting it go? I am struggling right now on this very thing. My plan is simple. Take action, surrender outcome.
I fear for my daughter & her anxiety. I just wish there was a magic wand I could wave & have it help her or make it all disappear. Going back to school, I thought she would be more anxious than she is, which is a great thing. I told her that HS was going to be such a change from middle school, all of the better. I want to help her grow in her confidence of herself & learn to deal with negative experiences/thoughts in a more positive light.
I have the fear of people thinking I'm dumb, that I'm not as smart as what I've been told I am. I'm afraid that the bullies of my childhood are right. I plan on pushing my ego aside so that I can focus on the work and not on who is the person behind the work I want to do.
I fear that I won't be able to change for the better this upcoming year using all of the tools and wisdom I've accumulated over the last two years. For a while now I've repeated that I can't keep living this way but after some time I become complacent and slip back into my old ways. Even with all I've put myself and others through, I have not yet found the willingness or been so overcome with pain and hardship that I truly commit to change. I'm afraid I won't find a way to love myself humbly, value myself humbly, care about myself humbly, and find peace. I need that to motivate my change because I do not fear negative consequences. I have been to some bad places and the threat of being back doesn't scare me much. I fear I won't make any progress toward become the man I want to be.
Oh, body image, but it's getting better. Losing significant weight helped. It really helped my health, my diabetes, along with aches and pains. It's not the vanity. And I'm more comfortable just putting it out there; here's a picture of me shirtless... be real about what I am, and be okay, be good with the positive reactions I get.
My Fear: Of not being able to succeed in completing a specific project; or not doing it correctly. Limits me from starting it. allows for easy distractions.
Fear of losing my husband as I answered last year but again I feel that I treasure every day we have and am very conscious that our time may be limited. Fear of losing my creativity - I have recently overcome a very long creative drought in which I made nothing. I am now making my glass pieces again which is a relief. I don't really understand the roots of the creative dearth - perhaps one more symptom of the depressive environment of covid - but I'm not sure.
I fear the uncertainty of the path I choose. I also fear that actually I don't have as much potential as I thought I have. Being in love with the idea of having a higher potential holds me back somehow. I realized that holding onto this idea made me fear failure and making mistakes, which hinder my growth and gnawing my self-esteem together with my mental health. So even it hurts to let go of the idea that I have high potential, now I tried to tweak it into "I'm not perfect, everyone is, and it's okay. So let's say everything is useless and meaningless. Then it's up to each of us to decide the value/meaning." I know that uncertainty is an essential part of life that will follow me as long as I'm alive. But usually, I don't feel that much fear back then, coz mostly I decided the path upon someone else's consideration/suggestions. Maybe coz I can somehow blame them if I failed. But this time I chose something based on my own consideration (of course by considering others', too. But I made mine as the main weight on the decision making.) I plan to continue training myself to prioritize myself, especially in deciding something that I'll go through by myself. I also want to learn how to let go of what I think people expect from me, so it's easier for me to be at peace with myself. And I wish by doing so, somehow, I also inspire people to do so: seizing the freedom of valuing and putting a meaning on things they do/choose.
I get the feeling that I have a fear of being more independent than I am now. I complain about somethings to myself, but really I am reliant on others and seeking the safety and stability of sameness. I would like to break free of my fears and live happier. Because I feel a bit empty at the moment.
This one is the same as last year again. The rats in the backyard! I appreciate that our next door neighbor is helping us mitigate the issue, but sukkot is starting tomorrow night and it's making me very ambivalent about the holiday.
It seems insignificant given what is going on right now, but I'm afraid that I will be too won't be able to move ahead with organizing my home. I have asked my husband to hold me accountable. It's not easy, but we need to figure out how to get it done. The demands on my time during the past year have been many, but I need to make this one of my priorities. Life is finite and I need to get this done.
Now that I have a job I like and even enjoy at times, it is certainly a fear I have about coming to a place of not enjoying it. I have to be on the lookout for the other shoe, to hedge against my nature of always looking for "greener grass" in my professional life by striving to do the very best in my current position so that I may find myself in line for promotions and the like. Also, positioning myself within the department to meet others of value and benefit. Other fears I have about the coming year relate to getting my proposal right. I want to marry Maddie, as I mentioned in a previous question. I don't want perfect to become the enemy of really good, but I want to be so near perfect, others couldn't tell the difference.
I'm afraid of success, of overcommitting to myself and then not being able to forgive myself. I need to make more mistakes to practice that. Perfectionism and extreme self control are problems I need to figure out.
The fear I'm unlovable! Lol, I've mostly overcome this, but I'm trying to build a daily practice of liking and feeling connected to myself. The good and the bad. I plan on doing this by a) journaling more often for my own self-reflection, b) writing about myself more often for a wider audience (it'd be great to publish one or two personal essays in the next year), c) being more honest about my feelings with my loved ones, d) privileging my own reality more often.
I've learned that my fear of whites is an offshoot of my deepest fear, which is of men. This is the main component of my agoraphobia that keeps me living in isolation in a tiny experiential box. I've been reading about, and attending meetings with, men who are fighting toxic masculinity. It helps me to see men consciously owning their violence and taking steps not to act on it or pass it down to their sons and other young men. I've begun joining groups where men are learning to honor, protect and support women and girls. One of these is Tony Porter's, "A Call to Men." I have a long way to go but at least I've uncovered the problem and made a plan for solving it. I also leave room for serendipity. As I commented in my journal this afternoon, I feel like a magnet with all kinds of information and serendipitous experiences flying to me. I'm looking forward to seeing who I'm becoming.
The fear of change, of taking a different path because I may fail or not be good at it, the fear of trying something new because I would feel so lost, the fear of really moving away (although it is something I really want to do), the fear of missing out if I don't. I think that the best way is to scratch that itch, take the plunge if I have the support of my husband. To go away, even if it is for just one year, before it is too late. We cannot turn back the hands of time. As for my job... the worse case is I can always return to teaching anyway!
That I won’t get into my first relationship until well into my 30s, or even 40s. That I won’t be able to share my body and the vitality of my youth with someone until they’ve begun to decline. I know still have this fire for life that people ascribe to 20-somethings, and I’ve always romanticized sharing that with someone, fueling my own fire with theirs, and vice versa. I don’t doubt I’ll find love in life, but finding it that late terrifies me, and depresses me. Honestly I don’t know how to let go or overcome this fear. I can’t in any definitive way ensure the conditions that would erase this fear, and so all I can really do is weaken the grip that this fear has over my life. It’s just hard because unlike many fears, I don’t believe this one is all that irrational. I was convinced I’d find a relationship (even a shitty one!) shortly after graduating college. And now I’m 28 and lived for 5 years in a city with one of the world’s best dating pools, and nothing has come of it. The chance of me turning 40 and having made no progress seems less and less implausible with each passing year. Beyond that, I’ve realized that I can’t derive all my fulfillment in life from my own personal growth, I truly can’t. I certainly never want to depend on another person for my happiness, but there is a limit to how much I can accomplish on my own. I hesitate to use the word ‘need’, but really I do believe I need someone to get me the rest of the way there - to challenge me, validate me, support me, comfort me, and nurture my growth. How long will it take me to find that? Once again, as I’ve always done, I will turn to my personal and professional growth to distract from the fear. And I’ll turn to nature to calm my spirit and assure me that all will work out as it’s meant to.
I have a fear of approaching people. It has limited me in every level of my life from keeping in contact with former colleagues, friends and family to not pursuing networking chances via social media and establishing new and deeper relationships. Between this fear and COVID, I have become too isolated. Most folks would not know this about me because I am very much a "practiced extrovert"; I am poised and articulate.
I have a fear of becoming less sharp, articulate, thoughtful, engaged intellectually and cogent. I fear forgetfulness. I have no doubt that I will continue to be kind, compassionate, supportive and loving. But will I be more than that and able to engage directly in the world in ways beyond that gentleness.
The answer that came immediately to mind surprises me. I fear making my daughter sad. It has limited some of my life choices about where to live and what to do. I plan on working on this with my therapist.
I have been afraid of throwing up since I was a child and to be honest it has ruined my life in many ways. I do not really forsee being entirely free of it or overcoming it ever. I have spent hours anxious about it and have had many panic attacks.
I fear rejection. This may be from coworkers, friends, family and people I'm interested in. In my dating life, this has exhibited itself as chasing people when I feel like my interest is not reciprocated to the same intensity, when in reality I should be taking a step back and seeing if I like who they truly are or just the fantasised version in my head. I plan on overcoming this by taking more time to date someone before deciding if they're a good fit for me. An important step of this is creating a life with more hobbies, passions and time with friends and family so that I have less time to obsess over someone I may not actually even like.
I am only just now realizing how scared I am of having kids. I am not planning to overcome this fear in the coming year, but I hope to come to terms with it.
I have a deep, growing existential fear of our climate emergency, and that’s only going to get worse as humanity continues to do nothing about it. I can also see it creating rifts between myself and the family I’m about to marry into. I need to be less analytical, throw a little bit of caution and fear into the wind, and not be afraid to eventually bring some new humans onto this planet.
I fear losing this apartment and being homeless. I fear needing to rely on my ex again to rescue me. I fear losing this apartment will result in losing my relationship and custody of my daughter. The only way to overcome those fears is to continue to fight. Eyes on the prize. I also fear being unloved, alone, and never having sex again for the rest of my life. Don't know how to overcome those fears!
I have been limited by a fear of standing up to my parents - I have done it over the years but I am cautious to damage our relationship (I don't know if I have done this in the past?) It means I've not said how I really think or feel. Hopefully I can find healthy ways to do this in the run up to the wedding.
I have a fear of failure at times. This prevents me from starting. The fear of rejection stops me from attempting many different things. I want to be bolder and take greater risks. I plan to start this slowly and when things don't work out, figure out what I can do to get to where I want to.
I'm afraid of loosing my ability to interact with others outside of 'working'. Awareness is the first step.
Fear of failure is a huge one for me and one I am struggling with this year - it is difficult to be the top of the heap and then not - and with very little support, help or acknowledgement it makes it hard to want to get up everyday and find a way to make it better. I realize that this is limiting me in terms of growing the territory and learning more about how we can start to really move the needle with CO since NM will be a little to zero producing territory soon enough - I guess I have two options figure it out and attack with a sense of discovery and exploration or find something new to do...
My fear of climate change and all that it entails sometimes veers into entitled thinking (e.g. something I had a right to--being able to breathe the air, spend time in nature--is being taken away from me). The grief I feel is real but locating it in entitlement doesn't serve me or connect me with the generations of people who have thought more about what we owe the earth, rather than what it owes us. I want to confront these feelings when they come up and also talk about whiteness and climate anxiety with other people.
Fear of conflict has held me back. Fear of stirring the pot. I'm running out of fucks to give now, with the world we have; the pot has been stirred. No point hiding now.
Opening up to people more. Keeps me from feeling at ease around them. I will open up to people in a cautious way while still maintaining boundaries.
I fear to fall. I fear to die. I fear that the friends that contact me first (the few of them) will stop to do it. I fear I stop to talk, to control my limbs and any other thing in my body. MS is a bitch. I come up and live, that's how I overcome. There isn't a lot of options, and to lie and not to move (even if I wanted so) isn't very healthy. (And you can get bedsores, so it's really better to get up and to move, even if MS gives me the hell of depression)
I fear that with the pandemic continuing (and in my opinion it is still far from over) that the divisions and lack of understanding, respect and how to interact with those you passionately disagree with are as important as ever and that if we cannot actively address these that we will see further schisms.
I realize that I put a lot of pressure on myself, and have perfectionist tendencies. I need to overcome my fear of failure and take more chances for needed growth. I need to become more comfortable acting without the assurances that I cannot fail, and that I might get hurt as a result. I need to hold myself accountable for taking these chances, and can share my progress with Dr. Mathur and other accountabilibuddies.
Fear of failure. I have worked so hard to make it this far, and now the idea of failing is paralyzing. It makes a stressful exam 100 x more stressful, because I just CAN'T fail now. I've come too far! But, I know this is a limiting fear and that even now, what is meant for me will be. I just have to let go of the fear so I can do my best work!
Fear of failure. Uncertain as to what I will do
I have a fear that my spine won't continue to support me in the future. I don't know how to overcome this fear without a different action than physical therapy (which isn't working very well).
That I will not find a partner to grow old with. That I will not have the opportunity to decide if I want to have a family or not. This fear has made me have unrealistic expectations and pressure when dating. It has made me dread dating and almost give up. It has made me feel lonely and inadequate. It has made me compare my life to others and become resentful and jealous. It has limited the capacity for my heart to be soft and open. I plan to do me to let go of this fear. That means continue to do practices that nurture and support, to continue to surround myself with humans that will uplift and nourish me, and to keep my mind curious and child-like.
"I can't do it." Whatever it is. It's held me back from taking big leaps into the uncertain, the scary, the focussed, the self made, and the entrepreneurial these past 8 years. I've seen and felt what it's like to commit to flying in the face of it, and see that I CAN do it (and that mistakes are part of making it). So I plan to overcome the fear of "I can't" by remembering and visualising when I COULD and trying it again and again and again throughout the next year :)
My biggest fear in life is failure. The fear is so big that I actually have self-sabotaged to stay in riskless positions that inhibit the possibility of failure. That's why I don't pursue an idea or a more interesting job. It's why I get rejected once and don't put myself out there for another year. It's why I'm afraid of opening up to people about my feelings or hopes or fears. Fear of failure is driving me to a greater likelihood of overall failure in life; I need to start making choices and taking risks while they are more are less inconsequential to my life.
I have an ongoing terrible fear of losing friends and friendships I’ve invested in. It has limited because when the fear overcomes me I lose confidence in myself and I end up crippled and depressed. I plan to meditate and exercise more consistently- both of which make me mentally stronger. I plan to be aware of how much I’ve invested in a relationship compared to what I receive in return and not let my naïveté and passion and empathy for others take over my rational measured mind.
Dying as an unpublished author. = keep on sending queries. keep on sending queries. keep on sending queries. keep on sending queries keep on sending queries keep on sending queries keep on sending queries keep on sending queries keep on sending queries
I still harbor fear about not being loved and I often conflate that with fears about not performing brilliantly with others. I will continue my quest to know down to my deepest viscera that I am loveable and that I don't have to do spectacular things for others to respect and/or love me. Along with "I am loveable" I will endeavor to remember that "I am enough." In fact, I am far more than enough!
Oh my -- how am I holding myself back? What does it mean to really, really commit? I'm not sure about overcoming -- therapy helps? Being scared straight helps? -- as in, I'm nearly 40, retirement is closer, existential crises are closer so shit is real friend!
I fear being more intimate with my spouse, even though it's been almost 11 years since I learned of his betrayal. Can our marriage survive the way it is? If not, how can I move forward? I'm not sure how to let go, but I'm getting closer to trying. I do feel closer to him lately.
That I cannot be a single mother. That it is too scary, that I cannot afford it, that I need to stay in unhappiness out of comfort, out of not facing this fear that I could fuck up my child by separating. I'm not sure how I plan to navigate any of those thoughts. They are constant daily thoughts. I hope and pray that I will get to a place this year where those thoughts will no longer exist, whether it is because I took the leap or because I stayed and things worked out. Either way, the limbo is exhausting.
A fear that we may never experience the joys of travel again, especially European travel. How to overcome it: by being as stoic as possible, and accepting whatever the reality of the situation is.
I have a fear of confrontation, and to resolve it I have to... confront people. There's no way around it; to live life, one has to confront people, and the only way that I can see becoming successful with confrontation is practice.
I have had fears about stepping up and taking on a lot of responsibility. Especially in regards to leading campt his year as director. I had a lot of trepidation and anxiety about doing it, even after camp actually started. The idea of the buck stopping with me, and being the final say about everything, and fear of making a bad decision was really daunting, and I found myself asking others for their thoughts probably too much in the first few days. After Tuesday or so, though, I started getting my feet under me and feeling more confident in the role, and like I was actually really good at it. I started making decisions that I was confident in with less consultation, and knowing when I did and din't need to consult trusted advisors. I do think my tendancy to discuss options and get different perspectives is generally a strength, and leads to me being able to make decisions with a full view of the options and downsides, however. I would liek to do it again, but I'd also like to do a camp session with a lower level of responsibility, like as floating or cabin staff for at least one session of the year.
Same as always - no confidence and deep loathing of myself. I just don't know how people let things like this go. I'm lost.
Working hard. I am so comfortable in my laziness, it prevents me from challenging myself or trying new things.
Fear of failing at work and not knowing the job. I know I'm still learning and I need to push the reluctance aside. Or maybe I'll just leave and find a place more suited to my skills.
I am afraid of getting into financial difficulty, which is an odd thing to worry about if you've never actually been in debt or gone hungry or anything. I don't necessarily make financially savvy choices but I also take minimal risks, in terms of what work I take and where/how I live and what I spend on and so forth. Maybe that's not always a good thing?
My biggest current fears are around my upcoming fertility journey: -That I will have to do >3 extractions -That the extraction cycles will be miserable -That we won’t get enough or any chromosomally normal embryos -That we won’t get to try for spontaneous pregnancy -That my job is too stressful for IVF -That we won’t be able to use my eggs
Not to say that I'm fearless - I still fear losing people I love - but I know that whatever comes my way I can handle it, because I already have. There is one regret I have from my youth, which was bailing out on my study abroad. That's a huge regret and I think my life would have gone in a completely different direction if I had stuck it out. I still feel bad about it and should really just let it go. What's the point anymore of kicking myself? I made other decisions based on fear and my life went in a different direction. Nothing I can do about it now. I don't have the money or the desire to do an adult "study abroad". It's time to move on and forgive myself, and focus on the good things I got from the choices I did make.
I wouldn't say it's a fear, but concern about finances has held be back some in the past. Luckily, I've recently gotten a raise and have also been able to save a decent amount in the last couple years. Now that I have the major expense that was my friend's wedding behind me, I am hoping I can take a trip or do something for myself this year.
I still have a fear of my husband or I getting COVID. He's 70, is overweight, has diabetes, heart disease and I really worry what might happen if he gets a breakthrough case. I'd like to think I'd have a better chance of not getting too terribly sick as I'm slightly younger, but I'm only slightly healthier. We are both vaccinated so that helps, but is it enough. It limits me in so many ways. I'm still not doing anything but what is absolutely necessary indoors. No club activities, no restaurant dining, no synagogue services. I can't imagine letting go after all this time. And it feels like me overcoming it depends upon others in the community doing the right thing.
I touched on both of these last year but didn't really make any progress on them, so... This isn't a fear as such, but I don't think I have an accurate grasp of my own worth. I'm really bad at owning if/when I'm good at something and it does hold me back in some ways - I'm often afraid of broaching things such as pay rise or promotions because I am (irrationally?) convinced that the answer will not just be no, it will be 'in fact you're so bad that we're going to fire you. I end up just trucking along, feeling slightly resentful. By the same token (although again it's not really a fear) I find it difficult to assert my opinions in any kind of setting, let alone professionally, because I am worried I'll be wrong and that will be worse than not trying in the first place. I think this is my worst habit in the workplace, because it means I let some things happen (or don't enable other things to happen) in a way that ends up being actually detrimental. I suspect there's something in The Chimp Paradox that can help me with this. I really should read it...
I fear that I've made it to my late 30s and I don't know how to let someone really love me. I want to work on better understanding how I want/need people to love me. And I want to keep working on loving myself. I'm hoping some daily or weekly rituals that relate to love are more consistent by next year.
My major fear that I've had is accepting my body for what it is and not punishing myself. It has limited me greatly: I've failed to pursue relationships; I've hidden myself; I've lost interests and hobbies that required me to go out. In this upcoming year, I'm dedicating time for myself to love myself!
I don't have too many fears. Worry's yes, that I am going to mess up our financial situation and have to go back to work for a living.
Hmm. Fear of taking on new responsibilities and not being able to handle them. Fear of not recovering fully from my long illness, of relying on my spouse in ways that aren't good for them long term. I don't have a grand plan; just slow progress, avoid feeling too pressured.
Fear of becoming ill -- after the dog attack to my leg, I have reflected on the eventuality of my becoming ill or incapacitated in other ways -- and of dying. In the past few days my leg has become reinfected and I am back on antibiotics. I will be studying Aging and Sageing this year, and perhaps teaching it at the local Assisted Care Center. This will help me with my own aging process and, hopefully, my "sageing" process as well!
My answer to this remains much the same: irrelevancy. Before the pandemic, I felt I was making inroads on setting that fear aside, and on doing things that would also be relevant. Now, whether right or wrongly, I am once again mired by a kind of nihilism. But? Today, I started writing again after a long drought. We’ll see if I can make a habit of it, and maybe make that relevant.
I came very close to death this year. Closer than I think I've ever been. The fear is not of dying but of leaving a mess behind, in many ways, for others to clean up. Tie up those loose ends. Throw out what we don't need. Be prepared for the inevitable and you'll worry less about it.
I fear moving away from my home state again if something happens to my parents. I fear the lost time with them. With both of my in-laws passing while we were living out of state, I failed to get my wife back here in time. Now I feel guilty spending too much time with my parents as if I'm rubbing it in her face but I also feel guilty not spending more time with them since we are living so close. However, professionally I would be better off not living in this state and moving to a more metropolitan area where I can work more effectively on my business. But if I do that and something happens to either of my parents, I don't know that I would ever overcome that guilt.
I'm reflecting on my Fear Last Year: of being misunderstood, and some small steps I took in the past year to tell a different story to that fear (which, of course, is kind of like a fixture in my brain). On a totally unrelated track (I thought): I took intensive training in design thinking this year. Think what you like about design thinking, it has some very sensible ideas that, when practiced, work really well: Observe > Interview > Empathy > Insight. Then: Ideate > Prototype > Iterate > Build and Experiment. There you have it. After the training, I started to use it where I found myself: with workers, with collaborators, with artists, with neighbors, with family (and happily, most people in my life are in all of these categories simultaneously). That fear of being misunderstood... where is it now? It's in the place that results from short circuiting these approaches. D'oh.
Climate change--that shit TERRIFIES me. It impacts how I consume news (mostly by avoiding it) because I find the whole topic so scary and overwhelming. I've had this fear for a while now, but the whole problem seems so big that I have trouble seeing how to tackle it. The things that I do feel so small.
My greatest fears have always been for the health and safety of my children. Surprisingly, I have come to be more aware of how much I continue to try to control and influence their lives. My sentiments may be based on unconditional love and empathy, but I must be more honest with myself on their effects. I have decided to be more mindful about my desire to "make them better" and just trust that they are grown people who must make their own way. I will always be there for advice if they want/really need it but I am doing them a great disservice by implying that I need to convince them to follow my advice. They are such wonderful men, kind, loving, smart and compassionate and they don't need me to improve them. I will continue to pray for them daily that they find peace, love and fulfillment in their lives, but I will trust more in the Lord to watch over them and their loved ones.
That I will waste an opportunity of a lifetime if I quite my current role. I plan on exploring whether my fear is legitimate by talking to a number of mentors and getting opinions from people I trust.
I have a fear of asking for help and being weak. It limits me because I hide my vulnerabilities and pretend to be so strong and don't take the chances I need to take to move forward with ideas. I play it safe even though people think I am confident and a risk taker. I don't really take risks. I will let myself risk failing... at ART or writing.
Fear of illness/dying keeps me away from people/places/events. After a short time practicing yoga in-studio, once more I’m practicing from home… too many people. No idea how to fix, but the pandemic must be contained before I even consider anything. I watch the vast majority of my friends resuming an almost “normal” routine but I just can’t. It’s too frightening.
My self confidence is always a work in progress - I am getting better (its about time!!) but I need to be more certain and sure of myself.
What immediately comes to mind is the fear that i have peaked in terms of my professional achievements. Along with that I fear that there is no job in my future that will fit it satisfy as well as my current one. I'm in a position where the stress feels overwhelming and I feel like i can't handle all the demands, but I also still have moments where I love what I do. It fits like a glove, it challenges and I'm really good at it. I feel stuck. I fear i will stay here because even the stressful parts are comfortable and familiar. I also fear that I can't find another job for me that will be even better but have the better balance and pay that I want. To overcome that fear I'm going to hire a coach. I actually get to talk to her next week about a retreat where I'll get to process some of my thoughts around my next stage of life.
I'm scared of conflict and I'm scared of criticism and I don't have the tools to overcome those feelings.
I've already improved on not allowing preconceived ideas about my professional capabilities limit me at work. I do at times question how good of a leader I am, or not. I'm dealing with this by asking for feedback from my Directs, my manager and colleagues. I know I can always improve, which is a healthier mindset.
I’ve written about my fear of starting a family alone many times over the years of completing my 10Q. However this year, as I embarked on my first monogamous relationship in many years, this fear has really bubbled up and caused me a tremendous amount of anxiety and self criticism. When I met Tommy in person in Oct. 2020, I knew there were many gaps that separated us: He grew up in a Catholic family that didn’t communicate a lot, ashamed of his sexuality, a very anxious person, driven by routine, a republican, etc. I knew about all these differences going into the relationship but felt like our connection was deep and innate and worth exploring nonetheless. However, given my fear of starting a family alone, my desire to have a family before 40, these gaps made me question a lot in our relationship. It made me question whether or not Tommy was a lifelong partner, and when I didn’t feel hopeful about our long term compatibility, I questioned my integrity in the relationship. I tried to talk to Tommy about this, but never had the courage to lay all my cards on the table because we didn’t have a track record of having open dialogue on hard topics. Over the year we’ve spent together, I spent a significant amount of time in my head, questioning my intentions and criticizing myself for being in a relationship that didn’t have a solid base of communication. Fortunately, Tommy and I have pushed through this conversation last week and are in a new chapter of our relationship where we want to learn how to discuss my hesitancies and his insecurities. I’ve also committed to being more hopeful about a future potential together. I plan to overcome this self criticism this coming year by committing to continued dialogue, openness, and vulnerability. Exposing my truth even if it leads to conflict and maintaining a hopeful stance that Tommy and I can built the trust and security that will sustain our growth, as a couple and individually.
I feel similarly to last year. I also fear that I will “give in” to my fears!
I am afraid of conflict with other people. I’m going to work on it. I’m going to work on speaking up and out instead of avoiding or pushing feelings inside.
This past year I again felt that my fears were reasonable and healthy. I worried tremendously about how I was failing the kids because I had to prioritize work during the day. So many days they basically had nobody caring for them. We fed them at meal times, made sure Asher got to/from preschool and Tahoe logged into (most of) his online classes, kept them (mostly) from hurting themselves and eachother, and that’s about it for most of the year. I was afraid that hearing us tell them no, we didn’t have time to talk to them, we weren’t available, sorry we couldn’t this or that, would hurt them emotionally long-term. I still worry this may be true. But this fear helped me try to balance as much as I was able. It’s why I took 2.5 months leave from work to focus on loving them, supporting Tahoe with school, taking care of our neglected home, and myself. It was a very much needed break and I was able to return to work stronger and more patient. So yeah. Being afraid during a pandemic was beneficial. None of us got COVID because we were exceptionally careful before Ian and I got vaccinated, and we’ve remained pretty darn careful since then because the kids are still vulnerable. When they are vaccinated I will have a huge sense of relief.
I am overwhelmed with my ``Fuck you,'' anxiety attacks. Most times I can't think or remember what causes them, and a lot of times they come after I achieve something or something good happens to me. It is almost like my Mom saying, "don't get too big for your britches,'' or "keep your head down and work hard.'' Now I try to write them down immediately, so I can look at them in the light of day. It holds me back because I want to avoid them, and I also overreact. I want to address their substantial parts, feel the uncomfortableness, and be able to move on as best I can--like Brené Brown's awkward, brave and kind quote.
I fear changing relationships that may be toxic because I care for the people who may be holding me back from he growth I need to pursue. I plan on letting god fo the fear of change by being more honest with myself.
My fear of hurting others has limited me in several important relationships. I sometimes don't share my own feelings, thoughts, or experiences because I think it will negatively impact someone else, and it ends up negatively affecting the relationship anyway because I'm not upfront with my feelings. I hope that I can be more secure in centering my own experiences and needs, with the knowledge that the people who matter most and who love me will still be there at the end of it. I want to practice this one relationship at a time - taking a deep breath, screwing up my courage, and setting my truth free so that I can live a more honest, real life and allow the people around me to really know me.
I fear drifting through life, allowing circumstances and chance to drive my decisions and thus my future. I know much of life is luck and random, but I can't let life pass over me, or merely drift through. I don't think this limits me, but it does drive me to make potentially rash decisions that may not be thought through or properly vetted. To work against this impulse, I hope to write a more complete vision of my short- and long-term future that can guide me so I can check if a decision is in alignment with where I want to be going.
I am in a multi-year process of working through my fears around showing up as my full self in leadership spaces. I am actively cultivating courage to make myself more known and to spend less energy hiding behind my concern with other people's opinions.
My fears remain the same in most ways but I have added financial security as being a major issue and fear I will get a job that I can do for the foreseeable future with good pay
A big fear I've had is leaving my partner because we're probably too different to have a successful long-term relationship moving forward. I need to leave this person or commit to working through the differences. Neither is easy. But we've been working on figuring out what's best for both of us; what will make us both happier in the long run. But we have clocks going because we both want to be parents so we need to decide.
Covid still scares me, and now I'm scared that Zahava will get it, and get really sick. I know the data says that babies do fairly well, but it's still scary! Especially with Blake's exposure to unvaccinated 2nd graders. It's all risk management right now, and I'm hopeful that we will be able to adapt as the virus does, and still live life as fully as we can. It's definitely important because my whole life has felt very limited due to being pregnant and now a young baby. Feels like I have to be more cautious than others.
Right now I'm afraid of being alone for the rest of my life. My grief and situation are still so new that there hasn't been time to be limited by this fear. I am trusting God to take care of me and meet my needs.
Still fearing failure even though I've failed so much! I can plan all I like on letting it go, but it's the fear that continues to hold me back. I'm just going to keep on trying!
still afraid of failing and that i am not good enough. I am also afraid of things i don't really want, taking up more of my time and energy. I don't want to have to commute or go into an office. I want to have my own time and space and not waste it on that. but by not wanting that, i am limiting my options.
At my age, I feel more limited by physical constraints than by fear. Overall I feel myself to have become who I was destined to be - both for good and bad. Crippled by depression and anxiety, but still willing to try new "scary" things and do what needs to be done. That said, this is another opportunity to propose to myself that I find a therapist to help relieve some fears and burdens and to engage more with the world.
I fear COVID. I fear my sister's death. I fear for my family and our fractured relationships. I will try to find peace with the things that I can not change and I will seek peace in God, knowing that his will is done and part of a bigger plan that I may not ever see. I want to have peace, knowing that I have truly done my best to be pleasing to God and that I have done all that I can to bring peace to my family.
I am happy, but I fear not feeling passionate about life anymore or losing my Aries childlike sense of love and wonder that I used to feel was an essential part of who I am. Is this just growing up or am I going to feel I am missing something later on? I think I can bring this back by reconnecting to the things I know can inspire me (painting, gardening, herbalism, astrology, witchy things Jewish practice, reflection and introspection, etc.).
I fear white nationalism and right-wing fanaticism. I fear the mounting climate disasters. My response? Volunteering and donating money to the causes about which I care desperately.
I had to admit that fitting into a car was not easy-peasy. I am continuing to make the right progress....and to the uninitiated cheering myself on when I can get that door shut in one swoop may seem silly, but with each slam, it makes me prouder. And, I am going to be sad, but it is time to leave GDS in the rear view mirror. But, I did cut my ties to dependence on GDS for only salary and INSURANCE!!!! Thanks, Obamacare!!
So many fears! Of rejection, of success. Overcoming with therapy journaling connection
Fear of poor social and medical support in old age. It's got me retiring later than I otherwise would. It doesn't look good for seniors in Alberta. Not sure how to overcome it.
Same as last year, to be honest -- slower to let people in, more comfortable accepting the obligations and responsibilities of intimacy.
Being a bad father because I want to care for myself and continue to do the things I enjoy instead of caring for my son. Selfishness basically, I hope I'm not too selfish to care for my own son.
I am afraid I am too traumatized and have hurt too many people to keep going or to be successful. I am having one conversation at a time: I am being more honest and more present with myself, and I am most importantly having one hard conversation at a time.
I think I'm still scared of instability, of poverty. The notion of living my life forever on the edge of precarity terrifies me. I want to own a house one day, not because of any home ownership aspirations but just because if I own my home, I know I won't be priced out every year when the rent goes up and start the cycle all over again. My work is contingent on being in a big city, where there are enough Jews to make a meaningful community. I have to also be able to afford to live in that city. I want to be stable enough to not feel guilty anytime I do something slightly big and unnecessary. I can keep budgeting, and saving, and I will - but at some point, it's the system, not me, and my fear is actually rational. America is built to ruin lives with just a short run of bad luck.
I wouldn't call it a fear, but the arthritic ankles are a concern if it continues to get worse. I will continue massotherapy and work out at home and the gym. I am a fight and I will remain active as long as I can.
I was having a tough ride with my job, and I was finally fired from my current position. I had good people looking out for me, though, and I have a new job with new people. I think I will be able to overcome the nervousness and lack of confidence that I developed. I will up my studies so that I walk in the door full of confidence. And I will study while I am off rotation so that I am good to go when I return from off-rotation.
I still fear that our divided politics will spill over into armed conflict. It seems people are living in two worlds; one world has people who seek the truth by educating themselves and listening to various news sources to help determine what is real and what is fake. They also understand the difference between .opinion and fact. I'm in this world. The other world has people following fake news sources and radio talk show hosts, etc., and only being presented facts that are familiar or supportive of what they already know as true. New ideas are foreign and evil to them. I don't know how our country will overcome this.
I am risk-averse in general, and I fear failure. I don't like being bad at anything, so it's difficult for me to improve at skills unless I have early success and ability. This has kept me from truly practicing drawing, and it also keeps me from writing. Maybe I'll do nanowrimo again. I told my partner I wouldn't do it anymore since it causes additional stress and anguish in the household, but gamification does really work on me.
I am an introvert and also somewhat shy. I have read the book "Quiet" and was inspired by all the positive parts of introversion, but I also have always had a sense that other people are more capable, that they aren't interested in being my friend, and so I don't put myself forward. That means I don't have a lot of friends, though the ones I have are great friends. It also means I tend not to offer ideas in groups, though I have been getting better at that. I want to make more progress in overcoming this. I will follow up with friendships and more volunteering. I will find ways to be with people more (in spite of covid).
I feel, in many respects, more fearful about the state of the world than I ever have. But it is the feeling that so much is out of my control or outside of my control except for me and the choices I make for my own existence. I think fear for the world is paralyzing. Or it is easy to become apathetic. By changing my focus to myself, to my own life, my own choices, my own thoughts or ideas, I have something I can explore and be who I want to be, not what some megamind says I should be.
My fear of the inevitable move to wherever we can afford to live once one of us stops working. I am frozen because none of the options look as good (or can be agreed upon between my wife and me), and yet staying where we are is not possible. Fucking California and its NIMBY-fueled housing crisis...
I still worry about my inner voice with self doubt. I need to give the negative voice less real estate in my head. I need more sunshine ans my rose colored glasses back.
My fear is getting sick and not finishing all of the things I have started. So, this year I will not start any new projects until I finish those already in progress.
Predictability--and control over everything. That is so hard for me to let go of. I am constantly trying to anticipate and help. I need to give up to get more for myself.
A fear I have is of my co- worker. It has impaired my work I can see. I notice she doesn’t ask me for information about a class I’ve taught or share insights and information with me. It will be difficult talking to her about students we have in common. I don’t know what to do other than learning to live with someone hating me. I know church and books are helpful and talking to people.
I have always had issues with a fear of failure that’s often made me avoidant about my responsibilities. I think some of the therapy and self-help reading I’ve done over the past year has helped. I am learning about acknowledging my feelings but still taking small actions sooner rather than later, and letting those small accomplishments give me the pride I need to defeat the fear and keep going.
I think that the deepest fear is getting it wrong. I don't worry as much about saying the wrong thing and appearing stupid -- that's a thing for the young. Now I worry that I will make the wrong decision for me: when I am trying to clear out the extraneous items in my life (what if I need it?) and when considering renovations of a house I want to age-in-place in. I want to remember that I am human and humans err regularly. It is what we do. I can make mistakes and live with what I perceive as a mistake, or I can make another decision, which might also be in error. None of it matters. Being actively engaged in my life, living with as much joy as I can discover, even in my mistakes, is what truly matters.
Fear of being alone, fear of not having enough, fear of the other shoe dropping. Letting go means being focused on each day, doing the next right thing, daring to plan and dream, making space for thinking and creativity and being good to myself.
I am constantly so scared that I'll say the wrong thing that I simply don't say anything at all. I have noticed this about myself in the Wexner Fellowship and in classes. I am going to push myself this year to share and participate even if I might be wrong or say something that doesn't make sense so that I can learn and grow from those experiences.
Right now I am struggling with the fear of building a life in Israel..in the existential sense. A life with rockets and stabbings and neighbors that are your enemy. I'm afraid of the things that come with that..with raising a family here. I'm struggling with the unknown and letting go. I am at odds with all the ways this violent reality is infused with life in this place. The checkpoints, the army service, the hatred. I don't have a plan for letting go or overcoming. I guess it takes a lifetime. I guess when you say it out loud to someone that's a form of letting go. Sharing it with someone makes it lighter. You carry it together. I don't know..
I have a lack of self confidence that comes directly from me not being happy with my body. My belly flab is so easy to lose but I keep slipping up and eating too much. This gives me anxiety problems and these escalate into a downward spiral that affects everything else.
I'm afraid that I am not really loveable, or worthy of being loved. You can imagine how this has limited me in relationships. How do I plan on letting it go/overcoming it? Awareness and practice. Believing in the opposite. Feeling it, but not acting on it. Just going for it anyway !!
fear publishing my articles and books. I am not free to go. With the help of G'd I want finish these limitations.
I want to fear death and ageing less and have enough going on in my life to reduce time thinking about the past and the future.
I am definitely fearful of being away from my kids in their formative years/months - I love working, but I also have very specific ways of wanting to raise my kids, so I work really hard to balance getting my house to run the way I want it to with keeping the business successful. I don't know that I can "let it go" this year, but I can definitely keep improving that balance on both ends.
The fear of being alone. And then the fear of not realizing that I a in fact not alone. But this one is related to my fear of failure, which sometimes prevents me from starting or continuing something that could be good for me and others because maybe it will fail and I will have to start all over again. And then, the other side of that coin, it has kept me in situations, relationships (love-friends-work) for longer than needed, just because I didn't want to fail again. After writing this, I had a really interesting session with my psychologist. About my fears. Of the void, of failure, of the uncertainty. And how I've been going into relationships to try hiding or ignoring these fears. I keep trying at relationships that are not healthy because I fear failure. I keep going from one relationship to the other because I feel the void, the emptiness... as if being alone was a terrible thing. And it is that uncertainty because I've never been truly alone, single, unattached, that scares me so much. Maybe this is the year when I'll actually be going to my very own desert. Not only I'll go to Israel, but I'll go deep into my own internal Sinai. To wander my own emptiness for a while, until I'll find my purpose
In the past I would say conflict and money, however now I would say it is a few obscure ideas. One is how I perceive risk. The ability to do something perceived super risky to others which seems like no risk to me versus what they do that seems very risky to me. Like it is out of balance, not fairly applied to all situations in my life, buried in past life experience or lack of experience. The way I evaluate risk on some topics, I am pretty efficient at. In other ways, full of preconceived misconceptions. Like, how to more make risk evaluation fair to all topics I apply it to. This is camped out on giving my power away, like acceptance by others actually or lack of acceptance makes difference in my life. If I fail at something, very publicly, is that failure or the perception of been seen as a failure? Looking through these optics, fear of being perceived something other than my desired world perception and the unfair way I apply risk to certain aspects of my life. Seeing those for what they are, letting them be there but defanged. I plan to seek help, from others who have insight that can help me see more clearly.
As I told my therapist the other day, people - just people, period - scare the shit out of me. Does everyone feel that way? I hardly ever feel like an adult around others, and that obviously has an impact on my confidence and the ways I see myself as a professional. My therapist suggests trying to draw on animals, people, or other beings that I admire or think could be a source of strength - imagine those beings as part of me when I'm interacting with others. Will be trying that this year.
Same as last year. I have a fear of death but I have come to a much better understanding of life and death. It limits me if I worry about it, if I choose to let it take up space in my thoughts. I will continue to seek wisdom to let the fear go.
I have been afraid of being insignificant, forgotten,unimportant. It has made me over sensitive and defensive. In broad terms I let it go by trusting my story, but I’m not sure how to bring that into day-to-day interactions in a world that seems pushy and invalidating.
I continue to fear illness and have no intention of changing anything given the world around me.
I don't have any fears that limit me. I think I'm limited by my pessimism in that don't see my life getting happier than it's been since Michael died. As to how I might overcome that...well that remains to be seen. I do challenge myself to try new things, even though it causes me some anxiety. Perhaps one of these experiences will be just the thing to help me believe that I could be happy again.
I have a fear of voicing my needs and desires. I'm worried about coming across as naggy or needy or ungrateful. I'm afraid of confrontation. I don't know if this is something I can overcome, but I think I can make an effort to be more courageous in my close relationships and to trust that people will love me anyway.
I’ve been thinking more lately about my tendency to resist and avoid conflict. This manifests both at work and at home. Being adept at keeping calm and being able to avoid making others feel uncomfortable or upset has its advantages. But I have been appreciating lately that there are certain moments when it would be better for me to be firmer and more direct. My desire to have people like me holds me back from embracing healthy conflict. I am coming to recognize that there are cases where people will appreciate and respect me more if I choose to be more confrontational. I plan to work on this behavior by selectively and intentionally choosing situations to open myself up to conflict and to experience how it goes. I am hoping that, over time, this will reduce my fear of conflict and increase my comfort with being firm and direct when it is appropriate and helpful.
The fear of wasting stuff or not getting the Best deal on a purchase. I plan to not worry about rhrowing away perfectly good stuff and buy for convenience not price.
The fear of catching COVID-19 was very intense. I lived in isolation until the vaccinations helped to overcome the fear,
I am afraid of failure, but it is a contradiction because the idea of failure is based on a societal standard I claim to have no interest in achieving. If that is the case, I should already be free. So the goal is to overcome what is holding me back here.
This is a really tough question to answer this year. What I would really like to overcome or let go this year is how I manage through the winter. I really struggle during those dark days when the time changes typically all the way up until May-June. I have always thought it was kind of inevitable but I wonder if perhaps I can really think about how I would like to manage through this time period. How can I develop a more meaningful, soulful winter experience that doesn't leave me lonely and depressed.
I definitely have a fear of being around people who vomit. I guess it’s limited my capacity to just have a peaceful time because I’m constantly thinking about it especially in places where I can’t escape it. I hope I can continue to move through it, to learn that it’s not really something I can control from other people, and know that I’m not going to get immediately ill from someone around me being ill.
Fear of being alone has in the past kept me a member of organizations or relationships that were not fulfilling in any way. I have in the past year begun to accept that being in a group is not necessarily being in a community, and that although it is challenging to make new connections at a certain age, it is nonetheless more fulfilling. And that distance does not make connection impossible.
Fear of not being liked. Fear of failing obviously. Fear of conflict. I will focus on what I'm doing. Be intentional (from the last prompt). Be clear. Be cool being wrong. And the best way to be wrong is to be clear, so I know where I'm being wrong. And then I can learn and grow.
The fear I have is that no one wants to hear what I have to say and that I have to say it in a way that is perfect. I am afraid of not being perfect. I want to let go of that and jump into the frey, unafraid of whatever comes my way.
I am afraid that I or anyone in my family will contract covid. I have experienced so much anxiety over this in the last 18 months, as close as I have ever come to panic attacks. Since the vaccines though, I am more relaxed about my sons but still anxious about me since I was a part of the Pfizer study and it is about 1 year since my 2nd shot. I am hoping for the booster so I can start to move on
Never being enough. I don’t handle criticism well but I’m learning to really hear it and not be defensive about it all. Some of it is in my best interest and some of it is just haters being haters. I have to have the dexterity to move between them
Fear: my drug losing its effectiveness. Dealing with: it's the Doctor's decision when to change drug. Not mine I have not much pain and no new pain which is a good and easily accessed sign
I am afraid that no one will love me enough to not leave me. I'm afraid that no one will love me enough or care enough to fight for a relationship with me when times are tough. I'm afraid that I'm not lovable. I'm afraid that I've never been lovable up to now and that no one will find me lovable for the remaining years of my life. I'm afraid that I'll be emotionally alone for the rest of my life. I really hate that the person I'd share these revelations to is the one person who is the most inappropriate person, and the person who won't hear them. Because, relationship hard-stop, and me putting my feels onto someone else. I really really hate that counseling was off the table. I really really hate that. Despite all the not-so-great things, I really really hate that this relationship is over.
I fear getting Covid so I rarely go out and am very careful. I plan on staying safe and finding out from my doctor when she thinks it is the best time for me to take a third vaccine dosage and the flu shot.
My fear that the person i am seeing will never fully commit to me. I have built my own life and now he is welcome to join me, and i feel like i made tremendous strides this past year in letting go of that fear as a guiding force in my life
Getting married. I am fearful of navigating all of the family dynamics, planning and showing up for a wedding, having to speak in front of people - I'm just gonna do it, I'm gonna propose and get married because I am SO sure that this is the person I want to be with and I am SO excited about taking this step with them, I have to stop letting other people scare me away from doing what I want to do because they are not supporting me how I need to be supported
I guess I’m scared that I won’t make a meaningful difference in anyone’s life. So it motivates me to go big, but that’s not overcoming it, that’s just giving myself an unrealistic goal. I guess I need to work on letting it go by focusing on really small moments and knowing that there won’t be some grand moment in my life.
I have a huge fear of failure. I so badly want to go all in and manage a small business for a living, reporting to only myself and getting to work on my own hours and build something that I am truly proud of. But I am so worried that I would fail. That I'd run out of money. That the idea would never take off. That I'd run out of ideas. That I'd never even have enough ideas to get off the ground to begin with... I am afraid of a lot of things, actually. And I'm really not sure how I'm planning to overcome it because... it feels like it has become my entire identity.
A fear of abandonment. It made me close myself off for potential new romantic endeavours. Working on it. I am allowed to open up, i can hold myself, I've got my back, i can handle everything. Better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all. (yeah i'm cheesy)
I fear that somehow my current job will fall apart if my current employer talks to some of my nasty former employers. The best way to eliminate that fear is to perform well and become indispensable to the company. Also make sure people like me.
The fear is for my health, which seems to be deteriorating or maybe I'm just getting old - -well, I am, no tap dancing around that. There is no letting go or overcoming it, it just accepting and praying and doing the next right thing.
Well shit I guess I'm afraid of COVID. I don't know. It feels like that's not something I can let go of individually. Because my life is so intertwined with Christian. I don't know.
My fear - that I will eventually succumb to taking the C19 jab, despite my beliefs against it. Do I wish to be the last woman standing when others are dying? Or should I go with the lemmings in my family and in the world? The answer isn't certain either way. Is there another third way that is not yet visible?
always the same as last year. am i a good person, do i work hard enough... but the answer is sometimes I am not and do not. I am human, and I will love and own all that it encompasses
This one is taking a lot of thought his year. I guess this is good news as I am not overwrought with fears. I also wonder if I am fully in touch with myself or if I m missing something. Thinking about my fears for a couple of days the only thing that rings true is a general fear that if I don’t do X then life will be harder or things will go wrong. Is this just the illusion of control showing it’s ugly he’d again? Am I trying to control what I can when so much of my life is geared towards others? Am I just bitter right now because the last couple of months have been hard and I have had very little rejuvenation time? The answer is likely yes to all these questions. I think this needs deeper exploration and I should add it to my daily reflection practice.
My most salient fear is that I cannot be happy in a different job. I would really like to make more money and make a bigger impact in a new role at a different company, but I’m scared to leave my job and potentially have less flexibility and job security. In the coming year I’d like to challenge myself to get a new job.
i'm terrified of whether i'll get tenure and be productive or impactful. i plan to work hard and work smart. and keep trying. and ask for advice
My biggest fear is financial I security. While I’ve made progress reducing my debt and increasing my savings, I still hold on to the feeling that I only have myself to rely on. In the coming year, in order to let it go, I’ll have to have a open and honest conversation with my husband about our finances. That way we can create a plan together and set goals that we can both work toward achieving.
Financial issues. I've been letting it go, and looking forward to managing my assets, create my budget, live beneath my means, buy a house.
I've been thinking for the last couple of weeks about the fear I have around acting like an adult. Not /being/ an adult - I hope I more or less manage that - but /acting/ like an adult. Claiming my space and authority and defending my opinion. Because...well, the truth is that deep down I think I'm ok, and it would be just super if *everyone else* could be more modest and flexible and cooperative. And "acting" in this social sense is in general hard to impossible for me, which could be extreme introversion or a mild autism or failure to puberty or ?? I don't know how or if I can overcome this, it feels insurmountable.
I fear that the COVID-19 pandemic will continue, and society will be unable to attend to the needs of all people both in our own country, and abroad. I plan to let it go through focusing on our own community and maintain appropriate ethical and moral values when communicating with all people.
My anxiety has severely limited me. I want to get over this. I don't know why I am anxious anymore. I don't know if it was from the job I had at Fiserv or if it's from Covid or a combination of both. I want to work again so I know I can and that it wasn't just me. It was them. My anxiety has limited me in where I can go, always worrying about a bathroom or upset stomach. I feel anxious when I am about to do something big. I am writing this before an interview with the Irish company. I worry I won't be able to understand them with their accent. My stomach has been upset for the last week. Yesterday we went somewhere and I was fine, but I get home and my stomach is once again upset. Extremely upset. Anxiety is what gets me all the time.
I've been afraid of living alone with Imma next door and not having anyone to talk to when I get home, not really wanting to talk to Imma because it's so unfulfilling and tiring when I'm done with school for the day. The silent house, the empty nest when it was just the two of us. I just need to remind myself to be excited for my fledgling as they learn to fly. Comfort myself with thoughts of them soaring, and soar a bit myself as well.
Not being enough is always a fear that comes up for me. The idea that I'm not worthy or not enough for others or myself is something I have to constantly fight against everyday. I don't think I'm at a point yet where I can let this go, but I hope to work on holding less tightly to this idea. Reminding myself that I am loved and valuable and worthy and enough each day is crucial to this. Meditating, especially in terms of self-compassion is helpful in this area, and I want to continue to meditate every day, even if it's just for a few minutes.
I'm afraid of being wrong, afraid that I'm interpreting data incorrectly or that I lack the information or expertise to make a choice, a move, a statement. How do I let go or overcome this fear? Perhaps by moving toward it. Yes, I am wrong. I have bad information, faulty recall, incomplete data. I am uninformed, uneducated, unskilled. And so what? I am still here. I am still living a life, and life demands action, requires choices. Many choices will be wrong, or will be less than ideal. My actions may cause harm, to myself or to others. There will be consequences. But that is life. You act, you choose, you err, you recover, you err again, you try, you fail, you die.
Fear of financial failure is the biggest issue in my life. It makes me play small ball and then I regret what could have been. In the coming year, I plan to take more risks and to focus less on achievement based metrics and trappings of success. If I find my identity elsewhere then having those markers becomes less important.
fear that i'm not good enough and can't do. Can't manage a business. Can't find clients. Can't manage my kids behavior. Can't keep our house looking nice. In the end I'm just afraid of everyone else thinking that actually, not that they're true. So yeah, let go of worrying about what other people think.
I fear not dying. I fear that I will try to kill myself and instead wind up alive and suffering physically rather than the primarily mental anguish of depression. This fear is good for me though, some days it’s the only thing that keeps me from trying and everyone tells me that is objectively good.
I have a fear of allowing myself to flourish. It seems I always get to a point growth. Be it spiritual, or even financial, or career... and then I back away somehow. Either from my wishes, or from how I bring it my growth to others. In order to overcome this, I think I need to take actions that scares. The ones I'm most nervous to do, those are the ones worth doing.
I used to have two fears. Not having enough money, and not spending my time well. With the sale of my business and the growth of my accounts, no longer worried about not having enough. I realize many in my situation would worry, but I am confident I have enough for my lifestyle. Not spending my time well remains a big fear. I expect this will be a fear the rest of my life. Not all bad. It helps me stay focused on what really mattes to me.
I'm so scared of not being good enough and not being wanted and not succeeding that sometimes I know I don't try. I'm scared of not having control. I think I've been doing better at not letting that limit me, and at taking risks and trying things, even in the pandemic. And I think I should keep doing that, and keep embracing the reality that I will fail and I will fuck up and that will be okay because I will fail in new and different ways.
I think as previously alluded, the fear of missing out has been something holding me back to some extent. It's a very small mention in popular culture but i think it actually has large ramifications. fomo stops you from being genuine in a way. It leads you to always be searching for better - evaluating, and sometimes you miss what you have here and now, and you hurt people, and never feel satisfied. I have been kind of saying this year that the only thing i really like or dislike in people anymore is genuine-ness. I really like people who will just be whoever they are unabashedly, and don't feel the need to put on airs about not knowing something or not being a certain way. It's about confidence, but its also deeper than that, it's confidence that isn't even really by choice anymore, its just the feeling that you are ok with being you, you are growing and changing and good and bad in your own ways, but that you dont let things change your behavior unless they are truly important to you. And when they are truly important to you, you allow them to change your behavior and who you are without baggage as well.
I actually have quite a few fears and they are mostly about the safety of my loved ones. In the past, fears about financial security and lack of family support have seriously impacted me and caused me to forgo opportunities to do some pretty cool things. I’m working on taking risks and will continue to.
I'm looking at my answer from last year, and unfortunately, I don't think much has changed: I am sometimes physically anxious about what other people will think of me. When I plan something, or do something, I put so much pressure on myself to do it perfectly, for fear of others' reactions. I want to work on overcoming it by remembering that I probably care more than anyone else does, that things usually turn out okay, and that everyone is more concerned with how others are viewing them (than concerned with the minute details of, say, the Airbnb I booked or the meal I chose). (See my answer to question 8, when I talk about the problems with being an anxious, codependent people-pleaser.) I spend so much mental energy worrying about how people are perceiving me that I enjoy experiences less. This is especially true now that we are out and about socializing more than we were at this time last year. Rather than leaving social interactions feeling grateful to have friends or some semblance of a community, I leave them second-guessing what I said or didn't say or what came out wrong or how awkward I was. I think there are two ways I can work on this: 1) Continue to be intentional about my commitments. I have it within my power to mostly avoid social situations that will make me second guess my every word. 2) Recognize that 95% of my anxieties about what people think of me are probably unfounded, and try to have a more positive attitude about how social situations went. Recognize that other people probably feel awkward too. Know that people aren't perfect and I won't always be satisfied with every response I receive. Don't be afraid to remove myself from situations that don't feel good.
I am afraid of how Lupus will limit my life. I plan to stay in the moment and see what happens. I plan to rest more. I plan to do anything I can to get into remission.
Being cringey/ awkward I think i have to be ok being me, all the parts. Awk and ugly and the beautifil parts too. Just start
I don't think I have a fear of anything....it is what it is. I deal with negative things in a positive way. Love isn't a fear...and I do not fear finding it or not. I know it'll happen in it's own time and place. I look forward to it. No fear. If anything...I'd like to see more love throughout the world. Eradicate hate.
The loss of the democratic system in the United States. I feel that too many Americans are too selfish and the country is turning into a Theocracy. Mostly due to the so-called Christians. Who do not practice Christianity.
I fear intimacy, so I crack dark jokes and hang out alone a lot - and the pandemic has made both of these activities easier. I want to let people back in. Emotionally, mentally, and actually in to my home. I have a good life. I want to share it.
Parental health; Being there; working together with them, siblings, health care professionals Yoga
The fear of being judged. And not accepted by people. That I'm "too naive", "too optimistic", "too much". I'm just gonna do my own thing. Use my talents, put them together into something that's unique and be happy to share it with the world. <3
I am afraid that I will write poems that help to distract me from thoughts that are important. I am afraid that I will write to hide from myself, fill the pages with optimistic nothings rather than what I believe at my deepest core is what I believe and want to say.
Oh. This question takes my breath away a little. As I evaluate my marriage, I am afraid that I'll decide to divorce and that decision will represent to me confirmation that this kind of love, this kind of relationship, is simply not meant for me, that I am somehow lacking what it takes to have and sustain this. It was such a revelation to feel the depth of connection I felt when we met and fell in love. I felt like these old beliefs about being unlovable, unworthy, incapable, and undesirable were proven wrong, and I'm afraid that, if I decide to get divorced, those beliefs will be re-established. I want those beliefs to be wrong.
I fear of dying alone which is probably my driving force of wanting to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. I know my daughter will be there for me no matter what, so using that to let go of this fear can be helpful, although I also fear I have put some much on her since I lost my husband, I don't want to continue to do that (now I really sound like a Jewish mother!).
I'm afraid of letting people down or breaking rules, but when I think about it, so many of those expectations are either ones I've made up or, if not made up, don't have the same weight I feel like they do. I want to feel more confident about making my own choices.
I am afraid of losing financial stability. Even though I feel like my husband and I have a good income and do OK with managing it, we had a car break down in June and now have only one car. We really need two, with our twins now in high school. Our house also needs new appliances and some yardwork, as well as carpet cleaning. And in four years our kids are going to college. Coming up with a plan to feel better about this is tough.
I'm always afraid of being alone. Right now, I'm living that fear. Every bit of downtime gnaws at me - I need, I crave, I require, I'm addicted to connection with other people - specifically, people of worth, of value, of character, of intellect. People who banter, people who engage me of their free will and enjoy it. I think this fear is a core facet of me, and I don't know if I could be me without it. I'd be distant, cold, haughty, aloof, arrogant.
El miedo a no poder ganarme la vida o mantener mi nivel de vida. Creo que hay que entender que hay que vivir el momento, confiar en uno, y no ponerse objetivos materiales. Liberarse de lo que te ata y no es esencial. Las cosas vienen y van.
That I will never truly love and be loved. I am working on it in my relationship.
I have heard it said that there is nothing to fear but fear itself. I know that fear is not from God yet still I experience fear sometimes. It comes in the form of anxiety attacks....of having dental work done, of riding in the back seat of cars. Even sometimes for no reason at all I get that overwhelming feeling of anxiety. It always seems to have to do with being claustrophobic. I just want to be healed from that altogether. There is NOTHING to be afraid of because God is in control. Being alone and lonely is another fear that brings the anxiety attacks, especially in late evening. I have not dealt with that much the past year because Rick has been here most of the year but that is a fear that causes me to not want to let go of him. I hope to be healed and over come those fears. I think I fear the anxiety attacks as much or more than I do the actual things I have mentioned.
Fear of losing health and wealth. In my readings, I read a lot of Job and his trials and eventual resolve. It did give me a new perspective on what to trust in, but still there is that fear to deal with.
I fear giving in to my innate laziness, and I will sink into the couch playing computer games. I have no plan--bad idea, I'm sure--but I'm going to have to force myself, one day at a time.
I fear not getting enough "stuff" done. It has limited my free time and my creative pursuits. This year I'd like to keep chipping away at doing more fun things and making more time for meaningful pursuits.
Our democracy collapsing before the long arc can bend towards justice. I’ve been on a media fast for a couple of months now—mostly no social media, news, or TV binges—and I like how clear my head feels this way, without panicking about every new outrage. I think I can shape my world better from this place, though it’s not sustainable in the long run—I do need to have a sense of what’s happening.
Well, I'm always afraid of being broke, of not having income. It's been limiting me forever because it keeps me from moving forward in life and doing what I want to do. I honestly can't see letting it go. Sorry. We live in a capitalist country that will literally let you die on the street if you don't have enough money.
I have developed a new fear since last high holidays, mostly in the past 2 months since moving back to Denver. And it is a fear of being behind! Since moving back I have been subsumed (nearly) with a feeling of inadequacy regarding career, money, and partnership. I feel almost mad at myself for experiencing this, because where I am now is the direct result of choices that I made conscientiously, deliberately, intentionally, and in a way that brought me joy. But now I'm back in my "home town" and other people are buying houses, getting married, making money. I don't actually want any of those things (I self consciously want more prestige in my career but not more money), and yet I am feeling "behind" and afraid of continuing to "fall behind" and of all the good potential partners being "taken." I truly kind of hate myself for feeling this. I just started experiencing these feelings a few weeks ago so I'm not sure how I will let go of them or overcome them, but I hope I can do it by focusing on the choices I am proud of, on the things that bring me joy, on the goals I DO have for myself, and not on the goals that feel imposed on me by peers.
A fear that if everything isn't intricately planned out then failure will follow. Of course sometimes I need to think about what I do, but there's planning and then there's navel gazing, and I tend towards the latter. I've begun being more proactive this last year, so I'm going to carry on down that path!
Like Tupac would say, my only fear of death is coming back to this bitch reincarnated. Not really. I do sometimes get these waves of death and I’m afraid that I don’t want to leave yet because I have more work to do. I think I will continue as I have in just noticing the sensations and thoughts. Remembering that as a wave it passes. Such is the truth of impermanence when you realize that fear is at the root of suffering. May we all be free from suffering and it’s root.
I fear my own impatience and anger. I may start journaling to help me understand and heal it.
My fear is fear of being alone or making new friends. I need to just make some new friends of my own!
Like in my answer last year, my fears aren't going anywhere. So I am trying to remember to be kind and grateful every day, and have difficult conversations if they need to be had, so that if I lose someone suddenly I will have fewer regrets.
my big fear is wind, so it just is what it is. My fear, I guess, is not finishing most of what I have, and leaving my girls with too much crap to deal with. So, I am trying to finish and sort and toss.
A fear I have is to dream big. It's limited me as I can't see past the present moment. In my eyes, a job I struggle to thrive in but allows for moments of escape is enough. But deep down inside, I want a lot more out of life. I just don't know how to dream about it happening.
Losing my job. There's a future after the job. I don't know what it is but it could easily be something better and won't be worse.
I have a fear of death but I don’t think it limits me much. Even with corona, which did give me a scare at times, didn’t stop me from having a good year. It’s maybe limited me from trying some more of the extreme things like sky diving but I don’t see that as important to my every day living. I don’t plan on doing much differently.
So much still revolves around Covid - how it impacts our lives, how it continues to impact our lives. I have found that I still have fear - although fully vaxxed and family fully vaxxed, it is hard to let go and enjoy the freedom from being with those I want to be close with. And it is not just fear, there is guilt with that - can I enjoy myself when others can't - for me that guilt is associated with family in Mexico that doesn't have the same opportunity to go out to eat with friends and family because they are not physically close to us. So can I enjoy when they can't? Can I still live my life and not be considered selfish - because they can't? Some of this is their own making and their own fear - but some is jealousy - which feeds into my guilt and my fears. How will I let it go...just continue to find ways to keep everyone healthy and not fall into the guilt trap
I’ve always feared that I’m not worthy of love. After both my biological parents and my first real love showed they didn’t care, I developed a fear of being left. Of my imperfection chasing people away. It’s been a source of anxiety, pushing me to always be checking in, keeping a bit of a wall up etc. A decade after we split (2008), Bill and I finally had a real conversation. I sat in the backyard near the fire pit, texting at first. At some point I became emotional, sobbing as I took in what he was writing until finally I decided to call. It was an honest, vulnerable conversation that I think I needed to have so that I could hear directly from him that our failure was not on me. That it was all him, that I was worthy, and that it’s the biggest regret of his life. He said I owed it to Joshua to drop that wall completely and to not let the damage of our past stand in the way of my present and future. I’m going to take his advice. I’ll work to be 100% my authentic self in my relationships and allow others to love me, believing that I’m worthy of that love and that they aren’t going to leave me.
I fear needing other people, and I fear wanting things I cannot have. I am continuing therapy this year and investigating ways to let those fears go.
I have to reiterate what I said last year: "Right now, the over arching fear I have is that this country is going to continue to support hateful, bigoted people and beliefs. There is such a lack of compassion that is permeating so many facets of life. I am truly scared for what will happen after the election, regardless of who wins. The only way to deal with it is to continue to surround myself with open, loving people and to try and stand up for those who are being swept under the rug by the bullies who have emerged." I think I am even more scared now, especially with the Jan 6th attacks on the Capitol, and the lies and hypocrisy that resulted. We got a lot of the idiots out for four years, but the damage they have caused and continue to propagate through our society is super scary. It is really difficult to see a light at the end of this tunnel.
My who life, I've worried that I can't do this on my own, that I need someone else to share the burden, the responsibility. I was convinced that there were things about living independently that I wouldn't understand or be able to figure out. This fear still plagues me from time to time. I need to let that fear go. That is a message that I was given by the people who raised me. But they were wrong. I can be my own person. I can support myself. And I will.
The biggest fear this year is the ongoing pandemic and wondering what church will look like as we transform into a different reality. Indeed the fear is the shape of this new reality that we're in the midst of discovering. My plan is to continue as I've been: listening, attending, watching for glimmers of what will come next and opportunities to have an impact upon them.
Fear of the virus. Fear to taking time to step beyond and do things or projects more than just surviving. What a good difference from last year, pre-election, when my fear was literally for our life and safety. Though vigilance is still required.
My not being considered fear in last years answer has been honed down to not fitting in - the bigger fear beneath the one of FOMO: missing out on fitting in/belonging.
Covid probably remains my big fear. It definitely changed and continues to change the way I live.
I have a fear of missing out. I fear that I haven't done enough. It's limited me because I get distracted. I also have a fear that I don't deserve everything I have, the position I have. I also have a fear of conflict. I plan on overcoming these fears by standing in my own information. I plan on remembering that leading is an action not a position. I plan on remembering that conflict and uncertainty are a part of life.
Because I was talking about it in therapy today, I suppose I fear that I will not be loved unless I spend maximum effort trying to make other people happy. I fear that I am actually a bad friend, despite that being a skill that I value a lot, but I worry that I take up too much space when I process things out loud and don't actually allow for balanced relationships, even though I try to be really attentive to it. I fear that my relationship won't be successful. In the coming year, I would like to overcome these things by: taking the time to check in with friends about their capacity before discussing my own issues, being attentive to distributing my processing among multiple people + my therapist, and accepting that I cannot make anyone love me by caring for them a particular way -- some people are just going to reciprocate and others won't and I have very little control in how that goes down.
I still have my fears about asserting myself and about speaking up and about not being good enough. I still have all of my anxieties. Therapy has been helpful for working on managing the fears a little better. In the coming year I want to keep working on this slow but hopefully useful progression of gradually learning to manage the fears better. More and more, I have fears about infertility and not being able to have a child. I have no idea yet how to manage this fear-- whether it's letting it go, overcoming it, etc. That may be another challenge to grapple with in the coming year.
I fear being alone, although I know I will never be. I must learn to accept what I cannot change.
I fear that I will never feel confident in the ways I would like to and that I will always defer to others rather than trust my own instincts. I sometimes wonder if I will ever stop focusing more on how I think others perceive me than on my work, my contributions and self-worth. I hope to put myself in more positions that challenge me in new ways so I am forced to stop thinking so negatively about myself and, instead, focus on solving new problems and learning new skills. I would like to create a new job for myself at work that allows me to push myself so that I have no choice but to grow and change.
Fear of abandonment has kept me holding on for so long to people who have had nothing to offer me but pain. None of them are perfect, but the Chosen Family that has shown me this year what love really is are the models I’ll be using from now on - both for what to accept, and for how to treat others.
I fear abandonment. I know that this fear is irrational, now, yet it wasn't always so. To always try to people- please and be the chameleon so I can be what I think is expected of me in any situation simply doesn't serve me anymore. I've grown so much. I haven't entirely conquered this fear. Maybe I never will. What I can do is lessen it's power over me bit by bit.
2 Fears: 1) Of growing old alone, without finding romance or a kindred spirit again 2) Of getting Alzheimers, needing committed friend/family/paid caregiver and being a burden
I am still afraid of confrontation, and I'm still working on it.
I am afraid that others will find me wanting, that I stop working too soon, that I am not committed enough, that I'm not as good as the next person. No new plans to overcome this lifetime issue... Years of therapy. But I am making more of my own decisions and recognizing that my choices need not be other people's choices. Nor theirs mine.
My only fear for the future is losing my husband, being alone and having to deal with this house all by myself. For that matter, I'm afraid of living the rest of my life without him. I can see him aging and that is hard for me. I still fee isolated even though I have evidence to the contrary. Some friends have left my life and I'm OK with some of them being gone and sad that others are gone. I have to work on me and on my self sufficiency. I'd like to let go of my fears, but it will be hard for me.
Being late. Letting go of that.
I have a fear of letting people get too close as I navigate my mental health issues--and thus identity issues. I'm very protective of this time and space right now, easily irritated by what I perceive as intrusion; I also don't wish to be othered or minimized, even accidentally.
My fear is that I do not have the time available to properly do the things necessary to do my job well and progress my career forward. I feel that I have been putting in extra effort as far as children are concerned, but that I am suffering professionally because of it. My job requires hours of focus to get anything done, but I usually only get an hour or so at a time, so work is constantly interrupted and that sets me back. I’m not sure what I will do to fix it, but part of what will help is if I use my days AT work more productively.
I do have a fear of small talk in settings like the office, and it does limit me in getting to know people who can support my career. I have no plans to try and solve this.
The fear of not meeting people's expectations. I think I've been slowly letting it go year by year. It kind of smacked me in the face this year that it's more important to be true to yourself than it is to live up to other people's expectations of you. I can credit my nephew Levi with giving me some of that realization. This time last year I was still calling him my niece Clarissa. Levi was brave enough to tell us all that he needed us to see him as the person he is. We still slip up from time to time and there's a part of me that mourns the loss of the niece I thought I had but then I remember he is still the same person and we haven't really lost anything, we just opened our eyes. I hope the people who love me will be ok if their eyes are opened to see that I'm not who they imagined I am and that they'll accept me as much as I'm trying to do so for Levi.
I think I still fear not being good enough, constantly comparing myself to these impossible standards. It takes away from my joy. Once baby is in daycare, I believe I can get more done and feel less restrained by my situation
I am afraid of never moving past my trauma and my family. I am afraid that I am stuck in amber, no matter how hard I work in therapy. It has limited me by keeping my feet tied to emotional abuse and being ignored; to depression and suicidal ideation; and to loneliness and pain. I plan to let it go by focusing on the almost 50 people I know who DO love me and care about me, actively and daily. I plan to change the narrative in my head that insists I'll never be whole again by overwriting it with the fact that my brain is VERY capable of change and growth and that I'm showing up day after day to this work.
I am in 4th quarter. Each passing season reminds me of that, yet, my life is currently a joy of family and a celebration each day my wife and I are together and in relatively decent health. We have begun traveling again in earnest and so will build more memories together. I also enjoy a weekly Bible study group, and we there can discuss facing mortality as best we can. The grandchild continues to be a source of uplift and joy.
I'm afraid of sitting still - physically and especially, mentally. I finally feel ready to work on this. I still don't want to hear the word "meditation," which is like nails on a blackboard to me, but I'm willing to attempt short periods of quiet non-activity. We'll see...
Fear of falling again. Fear of covid, of cancer, of accidents. Prayer, meditation and the guidance of a solid 12-step program.
Hmm aside from survival fears like the safety of my body, home, family etc, I think a fear that is readily apparent is of vulnerability, or at least a reluctance. I hope to move through this by continuing to practice sharing my emotions and expressing myself to safe people so that I can accumulate experiences of feeling heard, seen and supported.
I fear I’m compromising by having 95% amazing life. I have so much I’m grateful for, but am afraid I am not following my true desires. I don’t have a strategy for next year.
Being seen as incompetent. I don't branch out into new things because I'm not automatically the best. I can challenge myself by making commitments to my friends about doing new things with them.
I'm afraid of this political situation , the Same as was before. ) am afraid that the same decisions will Continue to lead to death and destruction. l am exhausted, and l don't think I can Reach Some ability to manage , overcome or let it go.
I'm afraid of not having enough money. This has led to attaching to people who aren't always great for me. I'm putting space between G and me, and I'm reevaluating relationships in general ... aiming to distance myself from old, unhelpful cycles.
I'm just going to cut-and-paste my answer from last year here: I fear letting other people down or doing/saying something dumb. Over-sharing or choosing the wrong people/places/things to trust. This is all very human of me, but I hate doing those things. I also hate being too fearful of failure to take chances. So I end up being paralyzed with fear and nothing gets done. No idea how to get over these fears and reactions other than confronting them when they rear up and patting myself on the back when I overcome them ... and giving myself a break when I don't.
self publishing my works I'm told i'm a gifted operson and writing is one of my gifts but I'm fearful of publishing . I don't have the funds to pay to have my works published And my experiance with Editors . Is that they don't follow their own stated rules. and ruin the meaning of my work. Letting it go and overcoming this fear I would need community support.
Fear of acquiring COVID! I’m not sure how to best let it go. I haven’t gone back into the office since March 2020. A first step will be getting myself to go back in, potentially later this month.
Moving on. From my job. From my marriage. From my current life. Scary, but i think it’s what needs to happen.
This year, my fear is losing my sister in law and best friend to cancer. Two great women who have made significant impacts on my life. I'm limited by not knowing what to do to help either person. I feel like I have done so little to improve the quality of their lives. My plan for the year ahead is to act rather than wait for something perfect to do, to visit more often and not just wait for Blair.
Working on my children's book illustrations. Reading the instructions to my "new" sewing machine. Doing more stand-up comedy. 1. Just do it! Outline & color present page of book. 2.Read instructions on threading the machine. 3. Work on 3 min. gig about new language "British."
Writing. So hard for me. "Letting go" and "overcoming" don't work for me. One is exiling, the other is endless internal war. I will be exploring this in the Open Dialogue (level 2) training I'm in--how a core dilemma can be a resource for clients and the therapy process?
I find myself afraid of the future. This fear is entirely reasonable given recent events, but it's also quite limiting. I find it difficult to have long-term hopes, dreams, and ambitions. I find it difficult to plan for or anticipate the future, even as soon as next summer. However, I think I need to learn to accept that instability and potential apocalypse. I need to be able to come up with backup plans that will still work if my initial plans don't pan out, and I need to acknowledge that there is an inherent risk in planning things that may not happen. However, sometimes those things do happen, and then the planning is very much worth it.
I'm afraid of embracing the term disabled. Is it really accurate? Do I need to? What will change if I do? It is, so I think I do, and maybe what changes is I get better at taking care of myself in important ways. I'm going to read Disability Visibility and see where that leads.
I fear people getting mad or turning me away which is holding me back from more actively advocating for FASD and moving on a boys' FASD house.
I am afraid to be a "failure" in others eyes. I am afraid to be found out as a fraud. I am afraid to be rejected.
That I'm not good enough. Working on it by making small improvements throughout the year. An improvement of 1% each month means I'll be twice as good in 6 years 😎 (The rule of 72)
I have a fear of failure & because I'm afraid, then I don't try to push outside of my comfort zone hard enough. My plan to overcome is to not care about looking like a failure. Even if I do fail, I can say I tried! I will be able to say I went after it & that will be a success all its own! I am also changing my "circle" to surround myself with like minded people. I want doers not talkers or settlers or mediocre aspirers. People who see the chance for failure in their own lives & say who cares!
I seem to have made no progress in this area. Every day of planning Ilan's bar mitzvah has sent me into an abyss of fear of offending somebody and doing something wrong. It's totally debilitating. One small observation is that briefly, trying out a supplement that is supposed to help with the emotional symptoms of PMS, this endless onslaught of fear disappeared. It was wonderful! So it makes me wonder if this affliction is purely chemical and at it's worst now that I am perimenopausal.
Allowing my limited eyesight to interfere with things I want to do. Fear of failure, not fitting in, of being myself.
I fear that I am not as capable at handling the typical things that happen in life as other people are. This is a fear common to my enneagram type (type 5) that I happen to be feeling a lot this year. I think I can overcome this by thinking about what is actually in front of me and taking things one step at a time, instead of ruminating on my idea of how things should be in an ideal world.
So I really want to go camping but I'm afraid at the same time. I feel at this point I'm just over thinking things.
Not starting my podcast. I'm fearful of the time it will consume and/or it becoming something bigger than I expect and not feeling like I know what the hell to do. I realize that is something most podcasters feel but the difference is they did it. I need to do it. Just take the microphone out and press record, see what happens after that.
Although I have been vaccinated, I fear getting covid and the possibility of not surviving it. Therefore, I have been extremely careful, masking, social distancing, and not being around groups of people inside and outside. With that being said, I voted early and had my hair cut after a year. I go to the grocery between 6am-8am for there are less people during those times. I also do curbside pickup and deliveries. I limit my socialization to people I know who are vaccinated and are being careful. Usually, we meet outside. Once I feel that covid and the variants are more manageable, I will venture out more and socialize more. I realize that I have to learn to live with covid, for it will be here in one form or another. Before, the Delta Variant, I ate in 2 restaurants and had a friend stay with me for a few days in the middle of June. I am looking forward to the day, I can see family and friends in person and get my social life back.
The fear of traveling alone as a woman, around the world but also just walking at night. I think that that fear is ok to have, and very adaptive. But I don't want it to prevent me from engaging in valuable experience, so I hope to find creative solutions so I can still pursue what I value.
I'm "conflict-averse", and have a difficult time modulating my emotions when upset, causing me to avoid difficult conversations. I'd like to be less worried about this, and more willing to take interpersonal chances. I plan to practice speaking up more, and assuming that conversations will go well, while being prepared with ideas in advance if they do not.
Fear of death is the big one. Everything else seems workable, in some fashion. I don't know how I ever "get over" losing the self/mortality, though certainly my spiritual work is an attempt to address the mystery. I don't believe you overcome this mystery, no one ever has. You live into it, you dive into it, you keep surrendering/releasing the hold that self and fear have. How do I plan on doing that? Meditation. Nature. Art making. Love. How does this fear limit me? One can hold on to identity, to achievement as a way of anchoring in the world. But if you let it go – identity, self, story – the freedom is real.
My fear is that the planet is going downhill that hatred and climate change will destroy it. That fear limits me in that it zaps my energy, makes me sad and causes me to look for diversions. Consequently, I become non-productive. The only thing I currently see that would help is to be involved in a group that is proactive in fighting these issues and/or instills a sense of hope.
My fear of intimacy with Karen and my fear in social situations is still a work in progress.
I'm honestly terrified that I will let my anxiety ruin everything good in my life. It's present with me so much of the time, taking control of everything and making me feel powerless. I want to feel powerful over it - if it's core to who I am and impossible not to eradicate completely, I want to learn how to at least reign it in so it is not so omnipresent and controlling over my life.
I am afraid of standing up for myself and saying no calmly. I get angry instead of assertive.
Fear of being misperceived I suppose? or more specifically failing to present myself in a way that allows someone to perceive me accurately/how I want them to. I can overcome it through practice and being prepared in pressure-y situations, and by giving less of a fuck in low-pressure ones!
There are several fears that I have. 1. Covid-19: This is a fear I have lived with for the past 18 months. Fear of dying. Fear of not being able to breathe ... suffocation, asphyxiation ... one of my largest fears. 2. Failure: This is a fear I have lived with all my life. I didn't answer questions in class when I was in school so that, in case I was wrong, I wouldn't be embarassed. I probably knew most of the answers. I was smart but I was really, really afraid to be wrong. I still don't like being wrong but I am edging away from not doing things because I am afraid of failure. I've acted on theatre stages and for films. I've sung out loud, by myself, in public! Whew! That was a really big one. 3. Hurting/Pain: I have more aches and pains in my body than ever before. My back hurts every day. I am in physical therapy and I am getting better but it still hurts every day and limits my ability to do physical things - pick up heavy grocery bags. Carry my 15 lb. cats around the kitchen. My knee hurts. I don't think I could jump if I had to. Dancing? well, between the pain, the shortness of breath and the deconditioning, it would have to be a short dance. How will I let go? 1. Covid-19 is real and not something I have a lot of control over other than to be out in public in as safe a manner as possible, wearing a mask and socially distancing. I am not letting this stop me from being part of a musical production, The Addams Family In Concert. It won't stop me from attending my nephew's wedding. It might stop me from going on a river cruise in late November but I'm not sure yet. 2. Failure - I would like to be able to put myself out there more whether I have a risk of failing or not. I need to more realistically assess the "risk" and sometimes just do it anyway. 3. Pain/Disability: I am trying to walk 30 minutes 3 times a week at least. I am doing physical therapy now and must REALLY do the exercises on my own when I am finished with PT. Every time I lose some physical ability and try to get "back to normal" I end up losing a bit. I can no longer afford to keep losing a bit.
Fear of overwhelm. Fear of not being able to keep up professionally. Spend time on self-care, professional education and organizing living space over coming months.
Purse long as I can remember, I have lived in fear of letting down other people, especially people I love this fear can lead me to avoid people that I love, or to just not attempt certain things. Most of all though, it leads me to be less communicative and my relationships suffer. Not only that, but it damages my confidence such that I can’t enjoy life as fully as I would wish. Therefore, I want to try to put down some of this guilt and make room instead for genuine curiosity and care for other people. By cultivating this thought, I can crowd out the guilt because authentic interest in others is incompatible with obsession over one’s own imperfections.
Same as last year: I have a fear of lack or not having enough. It limits me in that I am afraid to try something that may take away what "little" I have and fear will never get again. My intention is to give it to God and let Him handle it. My intention for the coming year is to Let Go and Let God for the coming year.
Well, I'm afraid of climate change. I don't have any idea how to let go of that.
Death has been very close. Two of my friends died this spring in a car accident, leaving their children behind. That plus the pandemic really activated my anxiety that was born when my youngest sister died in a car accident. Every choice I make about my son feels extremely fraught. I plan to continue taking a deep breath, exploring the thought for rationality, and then making good choices while being gentle with myself and giving myself space for my feelings. I am not taking in all of the news because some of it is unnecessary fear.
My fear now is that I will become inconsequential. That I won’t or don’t matter to anyone. I know that this is not based in fact, but it is still a fear. Perhaps because I am retired and don’t really have a “purpose” right now. I want to make a difference in someone’s life. I think that by getting involved in some volunteer work that I might find some meaning.
Well, I've been afraid of getting coronavirus. Then I got vaccinated and felt over it. Now I don't know what to think any more. I'm not really planning on "letting it go" or "overcoming it," I don't know if I could or should. I am pretty much "living life as normal" except for being double masked and having a KN95 on when around people right now. I don't know if that's a good idea or not, but I'm not allowed to be agoraphobic any more and don't get a choice about that thanks to work, so.
I fear being hurt in a relationship again. I plan to let that go at some point by looking at dating as not foe fun but something you have to do to have that companionship.
I still fear being called out as an impostor. I am basically trying to overcome it by calling out how awesome I am. I said a while back that I am really good at my job, and it resonated with a friend (both of us women) about how we tend to downplay our accomplishments. I am really good at my job, and I need to own that.
This is a really deep question. Everything I consider a fear is ultimately tied to a fear of failure. I care a lot more about what people think of me than I would like to admit. This fear of failure definitely keeps me from trying new things. I can't think of the last time I tried something without being able to picture myself being great at it. If I cannot see myself being good at something, I tend to not even try. I had not thought of overcoming this until I read this question. Even now as I think about letting this fear go, I cannot imagine what my life would look like if I actually managed to do it, which means I am struggling to see myself succeeding in the effort to abandon this fear, which in turn means that my inclination to not even try. However, I am going to declare here and now, that I am not goin got let the fear of failure keep me from trying new things.
No fears. Moving forward in braveness towards a happier new life.
I've had a fear of money my entire life. That is always present, and more so now that I face the potential of losing my job due to acquisition. But I think a more limiting fear is the fear that I don't fit it, that I don't belong. It's something that I have been working on, and I am doing better in some cases. Facing so many potential changes this year, that fear is something that I need to face head on. Being aware of it, talking myself through it, seeking support from others - that has to be my game plan. I've come too far in the past 8 years to watch it all crumble apart now, and due to circumstances that are out of my control.
That I'm not liked. I deal with this as I become aware by spending time with myself, by myself.
I’m terrified of losing something important to me, so I end up holding onto all sorts of things I don’t even need just in case. This year I’m getting rid of material stuff I don’t need.
My fear is that I fall back to previous bad behavior and that I will feel ashamed due to my actions. My plan on letting it go ia to join a healthy community that helps me to establish the right values in my life.
My biggest fear and drawback is that I doubt myself bc I believe that I am not good enough in many situations. I think this holds me back from being my truest, best self. I want to improve this relationship with myself. I need to let go of judgement of myself and remind myself that most of the time, others are judging me ... and/or if they are, I shouldn't care as what I believe about myself is what matters the most. I fear that I won't be good enough at work and need to let that go in order to be promoted. I need to remind myself that the care I deliver matters and that I can always find another job if I figure out that I don't fit where I am now. I need to let go of thinking that I am not the best Mom - which will require cutting myself a break when I am not perfect or when I don't show up as I wish I did. In order to work on these things, I truly need to work on my thoughts in a consistent way. I need to be able to see the abundant ways that I am good enough and let the rest go.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” ― Frank Herbert, Dune
I'm afraid I'm a bad mom. And it has limited me by taking everyone else's advice, as if it were better, instead of trusting my own instincts. This year, I'm going to do the best I can for this kid - but I'm not going to let myself burn out, because then there will be nothing left of me. For example, I will try to exclusively breastfeed, but if I'm in agony, I'll just pump or supplement etc... I need to set a good role model for my son too that we give it our best effort to do the right thing, but we don't become martyrs.
I fear that my relationship with my husband and what were close friends have now changed so much. I fear that I won't get back to a better, happier place. I effing hate covid and what it has done to the world. Forget the virus, let's move on. It is destroying friends, family and all types of relationships. Businesses, lively hood.
I constantly fear that I am not on the "right" path in life and that I am settling for a typical "millennial" adulthood. Then I remember that I have wanted this for so long. The comfort in a home with a partner I love, a dog, brunches and pilates, a job that I find fulfilling and that pays the bills. The mundane is part of life and I hope to continue accepting that this year.
I am still nervous about the pandemic. I hate the fact that I have to physically go to work 3 days a week, and increase the chances of being exposed to the virus. I WILL get my booster as soon as it’s available and continue to wear my mask.
Fear....not so sure. Dread....maybe. I am concerned over the state of the world. Angry politics with highly polarized sides. Climate change creating crises in a number of regions in the US and internationally. The rise of authoritarianism. The concentration of economic power in a handful of corporations. I don't know that there is any letting this go or overcoming it. Small actions on my part can at least let me claim to not be participating in our own doom, but it is small comfort really. I think humans are doomed and will succeed in destroying ourselves in a matter of generations...one, two, maybe 3?
I am afraid I will be forced to take the current COVID "vaccination". Until Delta hit, my concerns about the current shots were being overcome, one by one, despite the effects being not much more than a mitigation of symptoms. Delta has shown me that the current crop of vaccines are completely ineffective - and based on previous research using only spike proteins to inoculate against previous coronaviruses, potentially dangerous (especially to anyone who had already had and recovered from, or had been exposed to and fought without having become ill from, that coronavirus). Because I'm currently dealing with a largely-asymptomatic positive, I'm deathly afraid that the current shots will (literally) kill me.
Not ironically, I’m writing this while seated in a dental office, hoping to have a tooth extracted this morning. This is what facing my fears looks like. Years ago, I briefly dated an artist who had a very interesting perspective on pain. She said, “Avoid suffering, embrace sorrow”. It’s true. I tend to step into my fears with resolve and openness to suffering. After all, pain is part of joy. Without it, we wouldn’t know how good we often have it. Life is good these days. I am not afraid. The only things I really fear have already happened, repeatedly, in my life and I’m still here.
I’m constantly afraid of not being good enough. That when I mess up, everyone noticed and will probably talk about it behind my back. This consumes my thoughts every day in different ways, some days worse than others. This is part of the shadow work I’ll be practicing all this year. Sitting with these feelings of imposter syndrome abs failure, healing them one day at a time.
I am always afraid. I'm worried that my vision won't work, that I'm not a good enough writer, or that no one will take me seriously. And it's not about letting those fears go. It's about acknowledging those fears and using them to prove myself. That I am just as good, if not better than I think I am. Someone out there thinks I am fucking fantastic and will be grateful to work with me. Whenever I am down on myself or fearful, I remember abundance comes in ebbs and flows. I will do some burpees, focus on the task at hand, and get to work. What I perceive as "lack" is just the ebb of the universe. It'll come back when I need it most.
Definitely started the year afraid of my abusive boss. Definitely ending the year by talking about it - a lot - and moving on to a work environment of respect.
I want to live long enough to see my grandchildren married and my grandson have an heir to carry the family name
I hold the highest respect for tenacity, rigor, and dependability. The times when I have fully thrown myself into those values (IB exams; early years at my former employer; being there for my SIL during her divorce; etc) remain my great sources of pride. I fear that I am not, actually, that person... that when you strip me down to my core I'm a dilettante who can occasionally fake it well. I talk a good game, I bring energy and promise and inspire teams... and then don't follow through. Tenacity etc becomes a hill too steep to climb. It's not so much that I fear others' disappointment or delivering a product that I know doesn't live up to its potential, it's that I fear that all these one-off disappointments are a reflection of a deeper truth: namely that the values that I aspire to most fervently are not innate. I fear that I am, fundamentally, at my core, not dependable. And that is so scary that I don't know what to do about it.
A few of my fears have been resurfacing as I enter school but one is that I am not smart enough. I recently read more about imposter syndrome and it sounds like something I struggle with. In classes, I am so afraid that people will find out I don't belong there. That I didn't have an academic reference or that I don't know as much as they do. I am so worried to turn in a paper because I believe once my professors see mew writing, they will question my abilities. I am drying to let it go by focusing on what happens day to day. The professors seem very receptive to things I share, and I definitely plan to utilize the writing center to become a better writer.
Fear of failure has sometimes interrupted my willingness to take initiative on things I should have done better. Fear of being alone has gotten me into situations that have hurt me. I don't know how to fix them, but I know I love myself, and that's something that has helped both problems when things are down.
I fear starting new things, getting out of my comfort zone, standing out. I've found out how great it can feel to do things that are uncomfortable but important, how relieved I am after finishing something I started or when I do t procrastinate. I need to take those memories to find the drive to do that more often.
I fear getting too close to people and being vulnerable with them. I prefer to be safe in my little bubble. Even though I'm a very gregarious person, that fear still exists. I hope to take more risks, like calling my brothers Ken and Martin, and keeping that communication up. I think that will show up in my other relationships, if I can do that.
I am always afraid that I am boring. I’m starting to see how it’s driven some of the bigger decisions in my life — the places I’ve gone, the jobs I take, the decisions I make in my personal life. I’m not sure it’s all bad. Those experiences and risks were enriching and made me the person I am. But I’m curious why I’ve always felt this way, the root of it, and whether the way it makes me feel about myself continues to serve me. I’m able to take less action on the impulses than I used to, now that I’m tethered by a home and a husband and a child. Those things make me happy but it leaves me with fewer outlets to address this fear. I need to either figure out the root or find ways to continue to assuage it within my new parameters.
Not being good enough. Not being accepted. Holding myself in is exhausting and wildly unsatisfying. Not to mention that it prevents me from having any sort of impact. My plan is to continue challenging these limiting beliefs, therapy and more therapy, and whatever else I come up with. Progress has happened, but dang it's slow, which is par for the course in such matters.
I'm afraid that I will never get my house or workshop tidy- it's such an enormous mess that I can't find anything without an lengthy search, akin to finding the source of the Nile! It depresses me and stops me working. But when I have a day off I'm too tired to tidy for more than a few minutes, and I barely scratch the surface of the problem. I've always been a bit messy, but as I get older, busier, and have more stuff, it's getting worse. I'm trying hard to buy less, and put things away immediately when I finish with them. Also trying to tidy for a few minutes every day. I'm determined to change our business model and have more free time in 2022, but before that can happen, I must have some space to think.
The obvious fear is catching Covid, but since I’ve already died this past year and come back to life because the Lord brought me back, Cove it doesn’t seem like that much of a threat. God wouldn’t bring me back just to kill me off again from that disease. Not that I shouldn’t follow precautions. We all wear masks at school all day. I so, I’ve always had a fear of other people judging me. I feel less trapped by that fear sense my heart issues. This coming year I want to continue to walk in the promise of new life in Jesus. This is more literal to me than ever!
fear of being able to take care of myself, food, shelter, medical. fear of disentigrating muscle and bone mass? limits me by paralyzing me. need new way / new framing / consciousness to change it, and this in and of itself is limiting way to think. shared living. more money.
Fear of Flying but I’m ok with that. I’m not sure about other fears as some of them are, in my mind, reasonable.
I fear a lot of ideologues out there. And they seem to be everywhere these days and to get a lot of attention. I do not know about how to address that fear other than to keep on living in opposition to their ideologies and do a little bit here and there to more forcefully oppose them. I would love to make those people insignificant but I don't think I can make that fear go away unless they go away too.
Fear of elevators; fear of enclosed spaces; fear of people (sometimes). Probably has limited me from doing the amount of networking that I should do, or paying sufficient attention to other people. In the coming year, my goal will be ask questions of others at least once a week.
Fear of not being enough. Enough good, enough qualified, enough skilled, enough a good mother or wife or friend. I will try to let it go by trying to accept me more. But it's hard.
I've been afraid of being my full self because I've met so many people that I've wanted to be close to react with such horror at that person coming out. When I started to spend more time around the people who loved those intense, bombascious qualities, I began to be a lot happier. I'm letting go of the fear of some people not liking me, so I don't hide myself from those who do.
I fear not to be seen and valued as the person i am. Not so sure, of one year will be enough.
Reading my answer from last year, the fear of civil war, I still have the same fear and on top of it, the incompetence of Biden in Afghanistan has increased my fear of terrorist attach a lot more now. The only way I can deal with it is to hope for change but I know it is a false hope since the systems that have now been created to keep our world in this state are too powerful to change in the near term.
One of my biggest fears is how others see me. It has been limiting me a lot in my work, school, and personal life. I want to overcome it with therapy I suppose. I do not think much else will help. I have lost so many friends due to their antisemitism, and yet I keep thinking: but what will they think?
I think I've faced most of my fears. I've left my unhappy job. I went to visit Gregory in hospital. I've spoken to Fran about having children (we're still leaning no, for the time being, but are both open-minded). Am I afraid of working? I'm definitely experiencing some kind of mental block towards it. Maybe I'm just reluctant to leave my comfort zone.
One of my biggest fears is of losing what/who I love, specifically having it/them taken away from me. This goes back to childhood, of course, like many significant issues. Sometimes the loss was a normal casualty of family life changes; sometimes it was malicious, a punishment, exerting control. I have carried forward into adulthood the assumption that I can lose what I love, and that makes starting or doing something for pleasure difficult because I assume I will have to give it up anyway, so why bother. I honestly don't know how to let this go or overcome this. It's deeply ingrained in my personality and relationships.
I fear that I will be alone in my old age. I think the way to deal with that fear is to let it go and have faith that whatever my circumstances I will be able to deal. I will also strive to maintain a family of friends around me.
I am afraid of Alice dying. She has pretty much been my constant companion for about five years. She sleeps tucked up next to me, hangs out in whatever room I am in, loves to sit on my lap, and brings me great joy and comfort. She makes me laugh when we play and is such a good little kitty. I have no idea how to let it go or overcome it in the coming year. I guess I just try not to dwell on it too much.
Losing Jean; my gender exploration is extremely hard for her. I don't know if there's a reconciliation to those two things. It's scary as hell. I'm just trying to take it slow.
My fear is that I will always feel drained and overwhelmed. I fear that I will not be able to show up and be fully present for my child, even though I know that is not the truth. I fear that my child will be the same sort of emotional sponge that I am and carry the weight of the world's suffering with her. All of this is holding me back from being present with and looking for the joyful, the good, the delightful, and the inspiring. It's a set of blinders that keeps me from fully being in the world, which is never all bad or all good - it just is. I look forward to accepting whatever is given - and not carrying anything forward with me that doesn't serve me, or anticipating that which I cannot foresee.
I have had a fear that I won't actually get what I desire, that I'm not worthy of the love I want and the career that I have dreamed of as an entrepreneur and spokesperson on masculine/feminine dynamics. That ends here - I woke up this morning differently. It's time to Relax. I've had this fear like somehow MATR will be taken from me and all of this will be for nothing, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. MATR is me and it gets to happen, it's already happened - time will catch up so long as I relax. It's not going anywhere, it's mine, it's inevitable, it's pure and good. It's about helping the world. The radical acceptance and knowing that my desires are inevitable, so it's time to relax.
I’m afraid I’ll be or I am like my parents and to an extent I’m afraid I’m like the best friend I left behind because she was so toxic. I don’t want to be like that. But I wonder if I am. I am afraid of getting things wrong as a mother and hurting my daughter (emotionally, not physically). I am afraid of where my limits are and finding them and then not being able to cope, especially when it’s night time. I am afraid I won’t find myself again or this new version of myself isn’t recognisable to me now I am also a mother.
I am afraid that my career is over and that I will never earn a living wage again. The only way to get over it is to find a job. The problem is that the longer I am unempl0yed, the less confident I am which makes me even less employable.
I fear that I'm still stuck – stuck in a place I don't want to live, stuck with people that are keeping me stuck. I fear making the move to get unstuck because that might mean the end of my marriage, the end of the family structure as I now know it, the end of living here but not knowing where to go. Honestly, I don't know how to let go or overcome this feeling of being stuck. I'm not sure my relationship can withstand where I really want to be or who I want to be yet I'm afraid to call it quits. I'm not afraid to be alone, I'm just fearful of making a decision because I don't know if it's what I really do want for forever or if I'm just feeling this just for now?
A fear I’ve recently discovered about myself is failure/embarrassment, to the point where I don’t put myself in situations for ANYTHING to happen. The pandemic has definitely worsened my anxiety, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to overcome these issues, but I do know that I will try to not let them consume me. I deserve to have a fulfilling life.
Fearing that I will get an injury or contract an illness by either engaging in a rigorous fitness program from having none for a year to some or attending indoor social functions with people outside my family. Having to be seen in a medical facility or clinic during the pandemic for anything is a fear. Participating in as many virtual opportunities socially as come my way or making outdoors plans for exercise and meeting up with people/playdates.
I have recently started delving into my long-standing issues, trying to uncover the root or roots of struggles that have held me back severely in life. I believe that under all my various issues is fear; fear and shame. Fear of being humiliated, of being seen to fail; of being made fun of; of letting others down. In short, my deepest, oldest fears stem from how people close to me perceive me. Seeing that in print makes me realize what a poor excuse it is for surrendering my life dreams. My plans are too complex to easily summarize here, but they involve facing these struggles heads-on and helping my child-self overcome his bogeymen.
I fear getting old. It's irrational because of course I'll get old, and because the alternative is worse, and because I've been getting old ever since I was born, but there it is - I will be 50 in a few months. But let me be more precise: I fear getting old and being unsatisfied with who I am, how I look, and what I have accomplished. I fear growing old and feeling regret. That is an awful possibility to me. I am beginning to think about how to mark my 50th birthday in a way which will help me to be grateful, happy with who I am and maybe even proud of myself. I wonder if I will manage! I am thinking of spending structured time with friends, of celebrating me and not not fearing rejection, but I am not sure if I have the courage and the energy for this.
SOCIAL ANXIETY.... And I'm working on it, meditation is helping!:) AND it doesn't limit me however it does try.
I feel fear about my friendships and reaching out. I don’t want to be judged by others but I want to be loved so much. I want to reach out of my box more this year. I want to spend time with people I like and I want them to know I like them. I want to be open to showing my love
Fear of death of someone close to me. Fear of making a financial error. Fear of letting down the kids or my wife. Fear of my own death. Fear of losing track of my size. Fear of antisemitism leading to one of the above. I don’t think I will do anything about any of them in the coming year. I’m ok with that. I’m very busy.
I have a fear of having a car accident. I am practicing letting go of this fear. Mind training -
Fear is an interesting way to put it. I don't feel so afraid anymore - not really. I'm concerned for our democratic aspirations, but I don't think people are really ready for democracy (a primary requirement is participation by the constituency - America fails that one). So, if what we've accomplished in the 225 + years doesn't continue on the path to its ideal culmination, it's not that surprising - disappointing, but not entirely unexpected (Sapiens is not that spiritually evolved 😉). Therefore, putting such a concern into proper perspective is not so difficult.
My fear right now is that I'll be in the same place my entire life and not accomplish anything. Right now I'm droning on in my job and it's starting to affect my self-confidence.
I'm afraid of being imperfect, or rather taking risks and being comfortable with failure. I think that fear has come at the expense of not only being authentic, but also having some amazing experiences and opportunities in life as well. I plan on focusing and investing more of myself into the aspects of my life I find to be fun, meaningful, valuable and/ or rewarding and hopefully not overtime I will cultivate a better sense of self.
Fear of failure. Fear of not being wanted. Prepare more. Stop wasting time. Practice self love.
Whoa, that is a deep question for me this year. I still fear that I am NOT enough, that something is fundamentally BROKEN in me. This has limited me in almost everything I try to do and actually end up doing. It is that small voice that tells me "what's the use?" for anything I attempt. It is that small voice that says "See, I told you this would happen" if I do attempt to do anything and it does not go well. And it is that small voice that says "good, but not great" even if I accomplish something. I plan to surrender this fear more deeply this coming year by WRITING more about it, TALKING more about it, and LISTENING to others share their experience of how they detached from this same fear. And of course, by practicing Steps 6, 7, and 11 on this fear.
My greatest fear is that the world is tipping toward social and climate chaos. It affects me - and everyone else - because nothing is certain anymore. We all know that we can't go back to the way things were (because it is what is causing this chaos and/or because we aren't able to) but don't know the way forward and our leaders don't know either. If ever there was a time for collaboration, it is now - when we are at an all-time edge of terminal polarization about the critical issues. I do not think we can overcome it. My part to play is to help people adjust their lifestyles, opinions and expectations and bridge some of the ideological divides that prevent solutions. This is the first time I've ever thought it was ok to look out for me and mine, first. That is because we have to put down the stepping stones for ourselves and hope they work for everyone else.
I have a fear of going deaf because I am going deaf, and I enjoy hearing the work around me. Has this fear limited me? I don't know. If anything it's pushed me to be more careful about caring for my body and my general health. Do all fears need to be "let go" or "overcome"? I think I need to respect this fear and learn to live in harmony with it.
That I Cant Change. Gonna try small steps and let them stick. Maybe.
I have been afraid to tackle the clutter in my home because it is so overwhelming. It has prevented me from having people in my home. Most importantly, it has kept my grandkids from having ever come to my house. I am determined to get it done in the coming year and have discovered an approach that I can work with.
My fear of going new places by myself has been conveniently cancelled out by the need to stay home in this damn pandemic. I worry about breaking down, about being a woman on her own, about whether I'm able to recover from mistakes in an unfamiliar setting, and it has kept me from traveling more than two or three hours from home. When the current unpleasantness ends, and travel is safer, I am going to take a trip by myself because I can; maybe I'll meet a friend there, so I'll have to follow through on my commitment to go.
A fear of mine is finding a partner. I am extremely insecure and lack the confidence needed to find someone who I don’t think would judge me for me. I want to work to overcome those insecurities and make myself a bit more vulnerable.
I fear that I'm not ready to be a mom. I plan on overcoming this fear by leaning on Andrew and the rest of my support network.
Fear of setting boundaries. It's limited me because my boundaries keep me safe, so fear of setting boundaries makes me more afraid in the end because I am less safe from the everyday dangers of life like my boss sabotaging my workout <3 I have begun to overcome this fear by acting my way into right thinking - ie just setting the boundary and letting the chips fall where they may (ie setting boundaries does have drawbacks and those drawbacks are what I'm afraid of, but instead to focus on the benefits, like the protective bubble of safety that boundaries give me that I can take with me wherever I go. <3
Just today I spent some time thanking my fear for helping me stay safe so far, and letting it know that it can take a break now
I think being afraid of being cheated on again, it’s made me angry and anxious. The only way I know to let it go is to know I can’t control it and if it happens again I’ll get over it and be better off on my own. And hopefully it doesn’t and we actually come out stronger for having made it through.
I fear not being enough, both for myself and those I love. I hope I’m gaining the tools to move forward from the stifling feelings of inadequacy. I’m not sure if acknowledging the fear is allowing it to grow or potentially leading to a better path.
I've let others take the lead when I should have put my ideas and vision forward. I've been afraid of rejection, criticism and failing. My focus this year is to take the lead at work, walk with confidence, and act with grace. I want to be strong, feel equal with my peers and recommit myself to creating a better work environment.
I fear that I don't deserve ... anything. Respect, caring, friends, care, medical care. I'm going to remind myself repeatedly that I don't need to do anything extra in order be deserving; I exist, therefore I deserve.
Social anxiety and I plan to confront it.
This is a good question as I have not been sure about what has held me back. Now I am stepping out of my own shadow and entering the light. If there are those who do not understand that is not about me. I want to share what I have learned so others can more easily navigate their life challenges with grace. There is no way to avoid the challenges only to sail through safely.
I have this fear that my time is running out. As in I'm going to die before...whatever age I'm supposed to die? I was genuinely surprised when I made it to 18; now that I'm far beyond that, I have no idea how long I have "left". Whatever that means. It's made me not make many friends, not set down roots really at all. While my biggest real want is a consistent community I can care for and be cared for, this fear that I'm going to nope out of existence makes it hard to try and help or be a part of something. I've started to let go of it already. I've started to say "there's time" to people when they get stressed about time limits, and it's genuinely helping me already. I hope I can continue that. And therapy, that would fucking help. Come on insurance!!!
A fear? Just one fear? There are so many. Fear of the virus, fear of the outdoors, fear of not being the mother my children need me to be. A combination of the three have kept me indoors (for the most part) for more than a year and a half. I don't see any way for me to overcome that combo until the virus is tamed, and I don't see that happening any time soon. So I don't have any good answer.
I have tried to figure out why I avoid writing when I want to be a writer during my retirement. I have come to the conclusion that it is a fear of rejection that limits me. I am trying to remember that even the very best writers in the world have been rejected at some point in time.
I am so afraid of pulling together comprehensive documents to present to people for fear they will see just how ignorant I really am. Or I am just afraid of ridicule and not being good enough so rather than face this fear I simply avoid the situations altogether. I am scared that I will get to the end of my life and regret not being successful or selfish enough, that I will be a source of disappointment to my little girl because she cant gloat at my achievements. I am worried that I need to be more selfish and less generous so as to achieve great outcomes. I have so many fears and so many hangups but I don't really admit them to anyone. But coming back to the primary one compiling comprehensive strategic documents for presentation. I am both afraid of this and struggle with it soI put it off. I think to face it I need to put myself in situations that require me to create these documents and that rather than sit and watch television or procrastinate and pretend these things don't exist I simply face them head-on and start working piece by piece. Little by little things can get done and when challenged by a task the more you do that tasks or deal with it the less of a challenge it becomes.
See last year. See the year before. We are still in a very dark place as a world. We still need to get through this with as much unity as possible.
Fear that I'm not good. That if I'm not giving then what am I doing, and what am I for and that I'm not worth anything. That I need to seek approval in the eyes of others to feel whole. How to let go or overcome it? Be single? Be with myself, learn myself better. Lots of therapy. Really who the fuck knows
Not really scared. I’m not afraid of being scared.... things usually work out for good. I believe that if you are honorable and do the right thing it all works out. Sometimes not initially. Failure has a higher success rate than success...but it’s okay. I hope there is time.
Fear itself. Of the unknown, of failure, of past mistakes haunting me
Other than the fear of losing my wife I do not really have any other fears. So, I will continue working on keeping my wife happy, caring for her, and being the best possible husband to her so I won’t lose her.
I'm afraid that I will not change - that my procrastination and lack of motivation will continue to impact my health and my relationship and that I will continue to live as an imposter presenting afresh face to the world. I'm not sure how to overcome it - i may try hypnosis or more therapy.
The I will again surrender to much of my autonomy and personhood to a family dynamic for which I am only partially responsible or accountable. I have finally regained a life from the black hole of my failed marriage; now my parents' decline has the potential to again become my life rather than an component of my life. I must be clear in my boundaries
I fear abandonment and loneliness; I'm working on overcoming it by reaching out, making new connections, and maintaining old ones.
The fear of the year is living in NY and knowing I will survive. I am hoping that I grow from this and am able to just find clarity in whatever I need. I hope that this will also help me be able to find my husband. I am no longer living with the stresses of being a teacher and just knowing that everyone is around and looking at my every move.
The fear of trying. Wanting to be great or do great things, but being afraid that it just won’t be good or that I’ll fail. So a lot of times I don’t try or it takes aloooot of intentionality for me to try. I plan to overcome by praying, remembering how far I’ve come, believing that I have a purpose and a calling on my life
What I wrote last year still applies. Also, the fear around COVID and all of the variants. How do we live our lives with any semblance of normalcy during an ongoing pandemic? Are we being too fearful, and without traveling it has been too long since we have seen family, who aren't getting any younger. So I don't know how to overcome this or let it go ~ just sitting in the unknown for now.
My fears: not being able to succeed in anything. It's always limited me to quit. I also fear being abandoned by men (thanks to my BPD). I also fear losing my loved ones as there have been too many deaths this year. I just need to accept that things will happen the way they will and just let everything go. I will also go by the Nike slogan, "Just Do It" and just do the best I can in everything that I do.
Hmm. I have a fear of being poor again. Growing up was traumatic for me in many ways, a big one being that we were poor, and that led to a lot of social anxiety, and anxiety in general, including now as an adult. It has limited me in terms of the choices I make for my own job security - rather than chasing better jobs/more money, I cling to the job I have because I'm terrified of the new job not working out, and putting me back in a bad financial position. I'm not sure how I will overcome this, but I'm going to try - starting with opening a new job search in the next 3 months at least!! That's the most I can commit to right now hahahah
I fear that we will not be able to accomplish the change needed to deal with climate change, homelessness and other societal/world issues in a timely manner. I will re-engage in nitty gritty political work for the 2022 elections which may not assuage my fears but at least will act as anti-anxiety, anti-depression medications.
Being the new guy on the job. I went to two new roles at new companies in the last 2 years, from a job where I'd previously been the expert in the department. It's been hard to admit I don't know things and wake people up to get help. I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact I'd have always rather woken up than let someone fly blind. I'm working on getting over it.
I’ve been afraid of leaving my workplace. After previous career leaps and toxic boss/workplace, I’ve felt uncertain I could succeed elsewhere. Thankfully, my extracurricular pursuits show me otherwise. I’m certain I’ve grown through every change and I’m ready for the next chapter. I need to leave and try something new.
The fear that seems to limit me the most is the fear of being inadequate--at my profession, at any community project I may be involved in, even at certain hobbies I might start. It's particularly corrosive in relationships--being a "good" friend, son, sibling, or spouse. (That last being especially resonant.) Being so all-encompassing, it sounds like it's a major, toxic influence in all the most important aspects of my life. It's not. It doesn't pop up at all regularly in all of these areas. Not even enough in any one of them to prevent them from being a fulfilling and successful part of my life. And now that sounds like there's no problem at all. It's this: whenever I am having a problem in any of these areas, the fear of being inadequate in some way seems to be at the root of it. How to overcome? How to let go? Continue mindfulness practices. Engage with whatever big or little anxieties that arise with curiosity and dispassion rather than becoming lost within them. Practice gratitude often. Celebrate what I do well. Laugh about what I most certainly do not. And remain open to others, and to self changes that enhance connections. Easy peasy, right?
I am scared that my parents are on a downward slope. This pandemic time has taken its toll. We are going to see the USA parents, but are still stymied about seeing the Australian people. One way to let go or overcome is to visit the parents. We will all go in October for pre-Thanksgiving before the crowds throng the airpots, and the boys will go back in February. It will be dad's 90th.
I think a fear that I have is reaching out to people, both in regards to important things to me personally like conversion as well as making new friends and meeting others. I'm trying my best to have courage and put myself out there, deciding how I hold my spirituality and meeting new people. I think I'm also afraid of standing up for myself but also afraid of the consequences for not standing up for myself. My body and grades have already been hit hard because I have too much of myself so for this next year I want to teach myself to respect myself as a human and to remember that I deserve to feel better than okay.
I'm afraid of not expressing emotions properly, of over-reacting and hurting people, or under-reacting and pushing people away. I started to touch on this with my therapist, in our penultimate session, and it deeply disturbed me, how bewildered and defensive I felt when we started talking about emotional intimacy. I plan on continuing my self-improvement journey by finding a new therapist in my new state.
I fear losing relationships with my siblings after Mom dies. It has limited me in doing what I know is best for Mom or the house or whatever because I know it will strain the already strained relationships. I'm not sure I want to let it go. I'll probably just continue to do my best with hands tied behind my back because of this fear. It's really important to me.
I fear that I won't accomplish everything that I want, so I am constantly driven to do, do, do and have a hard time relaxing. I will keep trying to let go of the strong desire to do so much, without giving up entirely. Move in the direction I want, but not on such a hurry. And be ready to accept what doesn't happen.
The fear: am I or am I not fully presencing, learning what is mine to learn, and accomplishing what my Soul set out to complete here on Earth? In short, is it, am I enough? I plan to keep exploring with beloved community, wondering how to feel into ‘enoughness.’
I am afraid things will keep falling apart. Or maybe actually that they will never come together again. To let this go...I have to practice letting go. I must be with what is...whatever it is and see that entropy and connection are two sides of the same coin.
I've been worried about my mother's health, and I've been afraid the assisted living place she's at now isn't caring for her properly. I'm in the process of trying to move her to a place closer to me now.
Still, still afraid of being rejected and not finding a place to fit in. My "assignment" from my therapist is to try new experiences but have no expectations.
Fear of being judged for my response to Donna's death. Too emotional. Too sad. I need to be okay with me.
Fear of failure. I will not start projects or I will leave them part done for fear of not being good enough. I sometimes get totally paralysed by the fear of failure and childhood messages that it is better to not do things than do them badly. I will try to let go by doing things I cannot do really well or using paper and collage and things I am not invested in to experiment with.
It's a pandemic and I am old and afraid of catching covid or losing my husband of 54 years to covid. I won't let go of the fear until the virus stops mutating and spreading. I figure at least two more years. I also worry about global warming getting worse. The country has to make drastic changes even if we give our great grandchildren debt for it - at least they'll still have a planet and maybe the human race can avoid extinction.
Fear of not being good enough or doing enough. I think the fear has been ameliorated by a deeper understanding of the need for control, what fulfillment can look like, and realistic limitations as an individual, accompanied by a decision to make the best out of everyday, every day.
Fear of success. I don’t want it yo overtake my life. Success that is. Sometimes it can become excessive
I am actively overcoming my crippling fear of writing things that are not right. This fear holds me back creatively and also doesn't make any sense. I know that everything I write can change. I do not believe in perfection. I can trust myself to submit everything I produce to rigorous and loving feedback. I am facing this fear by staying in collaboration and feedback exchange, and by inviting people I admire into the project, and by having deadlines. Repeat exposure. Force.
Fear of not belonging. I hold back from fully engaging. Probably partly due to moving so much as a kid and never letting myself establish roots. I seem to have developed some mild social anxiety through covid and I need to push through that. I'm already disconnected and don't need to let it continue. How to overcome it...hmm, sign up, do things, get involved. Remind myself every day that I do belong
I am afraid of getting sick..of being penniless...of not having any work. I don't know how to let go or overcome it.
I think I have a fear of not being loved and / or being unloveable. It has caused me to lash out at people who very much do love me. It makes my life harder than it needs to be. I need to accept that people do love me, and that I'm worthy of it. It is OKAY to simply be happy without complicating it.
I fear getting Covid-19 by letting my guard down. I plan to do what I need to protect myself while slowly expanding my possibilities.
There are just two limiting fears at this point so Ill say both... Fear of getting covid and/or vaccinated. Fear of never finding a suitable safe home of my own that I can not be evicted from. The limitations in this go without saying mostly... And, I am letting these fears go--over and over day after day--and each time the process bears gifts...and each time the fears return with just a little bit less intensity. So, Im guessing that in this next year, this will continue to dissolve, layer by layer and continue to reveal more gifts and jewels of who I truly am and what is possible.
After having cancer once, even though I’m a survivor, there is always a fear that it returns. That this headache, or this ache or pain, is a harbinger of something bad, of cancer’s return. I try to overcome this by paying attention to my body and to live 85% healthy. Gotta have some fun, right? Exercise, eat natural, sunscreen, low to moderate alcohol and sugar etc etc. I also try to think of it more fatalistically in that no one lives forever. My family can go on without me if they must. That will be part of their journey and life challenge and part of what maybe they need to experience. But as for the fear and management of it - Stress could still be the box-car on the Cancer train as I’m still not got a lock on managing that. Even with exercise and meditation I still let work and family get to me. Maybe that should be my #1 goal for the year ahead. Let the stress flow- flow away from me.
I have become more aware of my own mortality and that of those I love. I know we don't live forever so I am making sure to live life to the fullest, make every day count and tell people I love them as much as I can. Really trying to live in the moment and be the best possible me I can be. I want to be remembered for putting good out into this world.
Dealing with panic attacks is a fear I have. I freak out on the idea I will have one where I am alone or trapped somewhere. I get triggers from somethings and need to face them in order to realize I am still am fine. It has limited me to travel far, do things on my own, socialize, and try new adventures with my spouse. This year I am going to try to push my boundaries and try new things.
Sharing my art to a bigger community. I've started sharing images on instagram, but I'm going to launch a website. I feel like I have a long way to go with my art, but I can't continue to paint and squirrel it away. Eventually, I'll run out of room! But, it is a scary thing to put your essence out there and hope that people like it and at the least, don't trash it.
I wish I didn't have this fear. I fear I'll never leave China. I'll never go "home" or see my family again. It doesn't make much sense. I'm just afraid of it. It's been almost two years since I've been on a plane. We never expected the border to close. And we can leave any time, of course, but not together. And so whatever happens, I'm separated from family. I can't do that "see you sometime" goodbye at the airport with R again, not knowing when we'll see one another again. I don't know how to overcome that fear in the next year, given that I'm not in control of the circumstances.
Fear of losing freedom and way of life due to increasing anti-Semitism. Live as much as possible in the moment, grateful for & blessed with all.
I need to work on being less concerned about how other people see me. I still want to be liked so much and sometimes that clouds everything else. I need to learn to stand up for myself and say no when I need to.
I am afraid that my adult children will not be able to resolve their differences. Now that we live closer, I had really hoped for more whole family interaction, but friction arising from or spurred by one of their spouses seems to make gatherings uncomfortable. It prevents me from being totally open and honest with either my son or my daughter. Because meddling wouldn't be appreciated, their friction is not something I can fix. I just have to try to work around it, I guess.
I am afraid of trying to speak Hebrew, but I want to spend time in Israel. In both summer of 2020 and 2021 I planned to spend two weeks there. I can’t even begin to afford it but I’d really love to shoot for a month there next summer.
I fear become physically limited as I age. I have just signed up for an online physiotherapy course and am working on getting stronger to improve my mobility to ensure that I can live independently as long as possible.
Fear of running out of money. It's funny, because all of my working life, I felt like I had to save as much money as I could, for unforeseen future circumstances. Now that I am approaching retirement, I feel like I have arrived at the time that I have been saving for my whole life. It will be easy to spend money, with lots of time to do things, and we will have to pace ourselves.
Still working on the fear of running out of time. I am turning down projects. I'm still decluttering things. It really feels freeing, to be honest!
I'm really terrified of critique. I'm really scared and I avoid fucking up and hurting people. I'm scared of having power because I could abuse it. The very possibility paralyses me. I've spent years researching, learning, reading, trying not to get it wrong, mostly doing less than I could be, because of that. But something's changed. I'm witnessing online communities and personalities built with nuance and understanding of fallibility. There are people I know and know of, who allow themselves to learn and fail, publicly. That to me is very powerful. Because they keep doing it. It's amazing to observe it, because it's not something I've seen modelled a lot. And I think I'd like to see it more. I'd like to do it, myself. Therein lies the answer, the beginning of overcoming.
That my life will never get better. I keep living in an uncomfortable situation; I keep not having enough money to move. By changing my thoughts, I can change my life. By believing there’s a better place for me, I can allow it to present itself.
Nothing leaps to mind.
I don't have a big fear but I have some small ones: I worry a bit about my health so I will get a big health check once I'm back in Europe. I fear missing out on seeing my nieces grow up so I'm moving back to Europe. All the fears and worries I have I am addressing one way or another.
We are constantly afraid of the covid virus. We are keeping to ourselves and I am going to work and home. We are going to continue to be reserved and keep our contacts to a minimum.
fear of faliure fear of losing my sharpness I really don't know
I’m afraid of being alone and unloved. It has kept me clinging to non productive relationships. I plan to find a house and a job where I can best serve my fellow man
I’m stuck where I can’t get close to people. Honestly I think it’s a combination of Covid and years of bad relationships. So I’m terrified of being sad. Period. I will do anything in the universe to make myself not feel sadness. I’m ok with the initial sad, but it lingers in me like a chemtrail. I used to enjoy the melancholy, but now it feels like I’m being crushed under any heavy emotion. I plan to find a new therapist and put some work in to make this dealable. I’m thinking of doing online therapy, but I’m also worried it will feel like a work meeting. And also make me disconnected from humans even more. I’m proud that I know myself well enough to realize this is a problem; in previous years I was unaware of any issues with closeness.
Fear of poverty. I see no reasonable way to quit working at seventy and keep my house and pay my bills. Letting it go or overcoming it? I wish I could think of solutions, that would help. Does it limit me? Watching one of my best friends descend deeper into dementia is not helping me overcome that fear, but unlike poverty there is nothing I can do to help prevent it.
Fear of no longer being creative or making nothing worthwhile has stopped me from even attempting to paint when I don't have a single idea. Plan: pick up a tool & paint/draw/make something & don't judge it. . . just DO it.
Until recently, my fear was that physical limitations keep me from doing the things I love - walking in the woods and parks. Now that I know I can do this, my biggest fear is that the depression I felt upon NOT being able to do this might indicate that should I really become less able, how will I react? What can I do to strengthen my mental ability to deal with something like that?
A fear is, “I should be doing x” and I’m not doing it, that is, I experience being controlled by anxiety around what I ought to and should do, and this leaves me feeling hopeless and powerless and anxious and down on myself and my life. This year I am noticing when I’m starting to hear the “should talk” and I am choosing to let it go and stop believing it is the truth. I choose this story instead: there’s not ought to in heaven! Becoming aware of listening to the voices in my head that get me down is the first step; and the next step is to choose a new story—and I’m practicing that!
Fear of not being accepted by others. Limits me by not reaching out to others and staying in my introverted share. Possibly next year I will reach out to others and be more interested in their problems.
Fear of failure- G-d please help! I cannot help myself.
Not to copy my answer from last year, but I think it's the same...I would still like to get over my fear of flying and travel more, once it's safe to do so. Obviously with the pandemic still going on, I haven't really had the chance to do this. But in the next few years a lot of my friends and myself are turning 40 and we are already starting to talk about taking big trips. I'm hoping I don't let my fear of flying limit me.
It's incredible to me that my fear is still of catching covid or one of its variants. I am concerned that because I limit my contact with the outside world I am not moving my body as much as I should and have become far more sedentary than is healthy for me. I know I need to make myself get out and walk and move more and to feel stronger each day in the coming year.
I'm scared of losing people to the illnesses of COVID and all the other scary things in the world these days, including our own modern-day ones like stress-related heart disease, diabetes, cancer. I'm afraid that we won't get to say goodbye or spend time with people. I'm making a plan to connect more with people, especially family far away and just be present with others more.
That I'm not good enough and nobody likes me really. Constant, positive reminders. Paying for a programme that helps, listening to affirmations. Playing on the words and telling myself the complete opposite. Every single day.
I am finally in the divorce process, which feels like the right thing for me. Being around less negativity has been good. We still see each other when we choose to, and it is better this way. Fear of the aging process, financial unknowns, and growing old alone are still "things", but growing older is better than the alternative. I need to get better about daily exercise.
I fear doing things that will make people not like me. Likability is a pretty lame standard to set for yourself if you want to get things done in the world. But I find myself getting drawn back to it as a boss. And to be a good leader, it's nearly impossible to be liked by everybody all the time. I am reminded of this great quote, recently tweeted by Katie Rosenburg, the Mayor of Wausau, Wisconsin: "Being mayor isn't a popularity contest. When you have a point of view and you do stuff, there are going to be people who don't like you."
I have fear about health-related issues that I am facing, and I seem to spend a lot of my precious time going to doctors. I hope that, in the coming year, I can keep my focus on relationships that matter, and on life completion work .
The fear I have is based on the fear of not having savings, or enough money to pay my bills, buy food for my family etc. It is based on growing up poor to lower middle class, struggling to the point of losing a vehicle while my husband was in graduate school, and then working 4 jobs as a single parent to take care of my daughters. Even though I have gone back to school and have a secure position paid every two weeks with vacation and sick time what I actually make is not a lot. There's no wiggle room however, my bills are paid, there is food on the table and if I am sick I don't have to worry. It is a vast improvement. When I receive a raise there will be a little space to breathe. I need to learn to breathe.
I guess that I won't get past this anxiety. It does feel better since I've gotten to campus, but there's just so much to think and worry about. I don't want to over commit myself and just want to get to that point of equilibrium. I think acknowledging that I need lots of sleep and don't function like my roommates is a start. I don't want to acknowledge it because it makes me feel boring and uninteresting. I think I also put a lot of pressure on myself to do everything and meet everyone, but Dawn talked me through doing everything at the beginning and how that pressure will burn me out and leave me with no where to go. And above all, just stop comparing what I know works for me with what works for other people, because it's just not the same. I am fun and cool to be around and know how to have a good time, but I also am very aware of things I can and will do that are good for me!! Going to bed early! Meditating! Not getting black out drunk! Spending time with my friends but not to the point where I burn out!! I can and will find a balance.
I am normally scared of not being perfect. It has limited me because I won’t accept criticism and how to become better. I plan on letting it go by focusing on what I have done good
Incomplete recovery from my hip surgery - continuing pain.
My biggest fear probably remains the same as last year -- my husband's health and how we will manage it. Second is for my grandchildren's future. Their parents have a volatile relationships, and the possibility of divorce gets thrown around several times a year. Yet there is a lot of tension in the home, so it's hard to know which is better. A whole cluster of concerns in that area. It doesn't limit me much. The biggest way would be that we can't even consider moving out of this area, as we are the most stable influence in their lives. We don't necessarily want to do move away, but it's not even an option to discuss. On a lesser scale, I limit the number of times I can travel and the number of the days of any trip to not be away too long. Like last year's concern, I am powerless. I don't have a say in the bigger decisions. I can only, again, Let Go and Let God and trust that he will keep them in His care. What I can do is make sure I spend as much time as I can with them while leading my own life, and to make the most of the time with quality activities and attention to them.
In addition to my fear of insomnia, I have another sleep-related fear. I'm worried that Little Tochka will be a terrible sleeper, like Therese Borchard's son, David. The thing that scares me is that Therese was stable until David came along with all of his problems, and the sleep deprivation was part of the reason she unraveled and went into a suicidal depression. Craig and I both have mental health issues, so I'm afraid that the lack of sleep will really screw us over. Despite that, I still decided to take this leap of faith. I figured Therese's situation was an extreme, and odds are, Little Tochka will be somewhere in the middle between a super calm baby who sleeps through the night right away and a baby like David. And even Therese was able to have a calm baby later (Katherine), which means it probably depends largely on luck. By making a plan to split the night shift and to nap during the day if I need to (as long as I don't have anxiety, I can nap if I'm really tired), hopefully we'll survive with our mental health intact.
Fear of Trying New Things / Fear of Failure I dunno how to tackle this one, it’s pretty baked in. Just push through? Let myself have the fear and do it anyway? Something like that feels right.
I am coming to see that I'm afraid of being myself, and how limiting that is. Part of it is that I don't really know who "myself" is. But a bigger part of it is that I am scared that people will drop or dismiss me if I show something about myself that they don't like, and I am afraid I don't have the skills to resolve differences, so I just avoid them. I'm not sure how I want to overcome this or let it go. Continue working on it in therapy, for sure. Spending time identifying what I want in a moment, before jumping to what other people want. Voicing what I want, even the little things. Naming when I'm disappointed. Reflecting on times when I voiced my needs, so that I can remind myself that most of the time it's not a big deal and that people won't hate me for it.
The fear, at age 77, is not death but dying. Lost quality of life, dependency, consuming resources of children and grandchildren, lingering. Overcoming the fear? Loving my loved ones, keeping busy and crossing my fingers.
After finishing what I thought was the first draft of my novel last year, I got very brave and sent it to several people for critique. I IMMEDIATELY regretted it. It was as if the act of pushing 'send' clarified everything and I knew instantly that it was crap, that I needed to rethink and rewrite everything. The sense of embarrassment was palpable. I felt exposed, and silly, and self indulgent. There is little doubt in my mind that although time and circumstances were the main reason why I haven't started the rewriting process, the fear of failing has been the under current that has prevented me from pushing forward and making the time. So, along with the other challenges I'm tackling this year, confronting fear and acting despite it is also necessary. Deep breath and go!
I wonder if I've been afraid of writing. Afraid that I won't actually have anything worthwhile to say. The writing group that has emerged from Rosh Chodesh is very exciting - especially since the emphasis is on starting small and completely unpressured. I think I can do that - and maybe it will lead to more.
I don’t really have a fear at all, perhaps a slight fear of my husband dying before me and me finding myself old and alone when I die, but I somehow think I will have friends & family close to me so nothing really to be afraid of at all.
My fear has to do with David or I becoming disabled or dying and how the other adjusts. I just have to live everyday to the fullest and know that I can adapt to whatever comes - this stage in our lives involves constantly adapting to changes
Last year I answered that I feared never being loved, but now I know I can overcome it. I am working hard on myself and on my relationships, I know I'm loved, even if there are times I don't feel or believe it. But I still fear that I'll never find that one special person. Hopefully next year I'll have overcome this
The fear that I am consumed with is that I am not good enough and I have done something wrong. This is with me all the time and informs every interaction I have despite the fact that I am highly accomplished. It is limiting my results and time for me to move on. As these questions ("Am I good enough to deal with this?" and "did I do it wrong?") are always with me I am looking to craft a new question that I can use to replace the one's that are not serving me.
Fear of bicycling...no, fear of falling while bicycling. I didn't bike as a child because I was not encouraged to do physical things. Now I feel a lack of balance, especially since I had my left hip replaced Jan 12 and am still dealing with leg pain and roving nerve pain. I am getting chiropractic help from 2 different style practicioners - Dr. Brent Binder and Dr. Cynthia LeCour. As I get strength and balance from doing yoga...I will gain confidence in being on two wheels.
I fear everything. I am fearful, highly anxious and easily stressed. That combination has been crippling, limiting me socially, professionally and “romantically”. It is slightly reduced now thanks to retirement and age-related apathy. But I don’t control it, it controls me.
Still fear of reaction from anne. Need to stick to boundaries & help with anger management as well as listening more and saying less!
My answer is pretty much the same as last year. I've been coping with anxiety my whole life. These days -- the old "better living through chemistry" -- I am comfortable with the choices I've made around my anxiety. Anxiety is not something that just goes away because you will it to. Sure, you can meditate and exercise and do behavioral modifications, but fundamentally, your brain chemistry is what it is. One way I cope is that I choose to live in stories because, well, they are safer. Another way is to seek out humor. There is nothing to let go of. It's all a part of who I am.
I fear the climate crisis and know that I have eco anxiety. It has stopped me wanting to have my own children. The only way to deal with this is to keep doing my part in highlighting the cause, spending time in nature and staying hopeful. I also have had a fear of driving for years but have now bought an electric car so hoping I will be able to drive again soon knowing it's not as polluting. My plan is to have driving lessons and build it up slowly.
Going back to work and not liking it. I normally love working and I actually feel happier in a structure schedule than in the open agenda I have since I am on a sick leave. But going back to the job I currently have scares me because I know I don't like it as much as I thought I would. I also know I want to change career so the next year will either be staying at this job knowing it's temporary until I finish my training to be an acupuncturist and build a clientele, or I will look for something different but still corporate to accommodate both my needs for a change and my need for money (let's be realistic here). This fear of going back is limiting me in a way because it preoccupies me and prevents me from making the most out of this sick leave aka healing. It puts unnecessary thoughts in my mind and I am ruminating on things I should't even give a thought to. I fear for the future for so many reasons, but I am going to overcome this fear by diving into my acupuncture training, getting healthier and with a clearer mind and a motivated soul I will be able to overcome it all.
I fear having to ask for help or relying on anyone. I fear needing money and not having it. I fear needing something - physically needing help to drive or walk or prepare food - and having to ask for it.
A fear I have is the gripping and often all too convincing misbelief that “I cannot, x,y, z…because I am incapable or undeserving.” It has limited me by causing me to freeze or abort, and therefore to fail- either in follow through or in letting myself authentically shine through. I plan on overcoming this fear by realizing and understanding that it is a construct of my own doing. A creation of a more primitive and less mature and realized self. I created that, then…and I create this, (what I choose to believe instead), now. Each time I find myself in this freeze state, I put my monkey mind on the shelf. I check into my intuitive space-my heart and soul space. I drop into the bigger and more complete being that I am—that which is descended and materialized directly from the light of source. Of all that is. In this space and from this identity I then can move forward into that which I choose.
I've got this fear lately, of driving in a vehicle with someone else driving, if they are going too fast or too erratic. I'm not sure yet how I will tackle this problem, though I think it may be just a control issue that I have. I will work towards overcoming this in the next year.
It's interesting reading my answer from last year about getting Covid. I thought I would be safe after I got the vaccine. And yet... here we are with variants. I had just a few months of feeling safe, and even had a month where I wasn't wearing a mask. Now, I am back where I was, albeit, slightly less nervous. As for my other fears, I'm still dealing with social anxiety, fear of travel, fear of having to deal with my parents' dementia and eventually moving them out of their house. How do I plan on letting it go? I don't think I can at this point. I am living in the darkest timeline.
I think I have a fear of openness. Is the quiet I wear in public more of a shield or more like bones? Do I maintain it in external protection or is it more of a structure of myself? I did the work of merging my Selves many years ago, but I have allowed them to split again since 2019. I fear the effects of merging them again because they require more openness and honesty with the world around me. Of course I fear vulnerability, but I also fear that I cannot have it with the structures I have built and allowed others to build in my life.
Still working on the same thing as last year--feeling not enough. But I am making progress. I am giving myself grace. I am practicing self-compassion. I am asking for what I need and want. I am getting better.
Not sure if its a fear yet but here we are almost at 2 years and had an appt yesterday and Dr. Salamah is starting to ween me off the Kepra. Ive said this from the beginning but I see how its mentally addictive. But with little by little and him talking about having the feelings really helps. With me being 40 now and people up there are dying its hitting more but not really thinking that Ive been alive for 40 years and for the last 40 years I could have died at any time....hmmmmmm.
I am terrified of: (1) not losing weight, (2) not getting my strength back, (3) not being able to take a break, (4) my husband falling apart, (5) my kids learning terrible health habits from me, (6) missing a client's deadline, (7) messing up something for a student, (8) catching COVID, and (9) messing up my career trajectory, among other things.
I have this fear that I am never going to hear the voice of someone special. He is going through a very rough time and he does not want me at all. I think I just need to give up and move on. He will never want to hear from me again. It hurts so badly.
My biggest fear right now is one that has been plaguing me since my separation five years ago: I will live to a ripe old age, alone and lonely, ill and immobile. I am not sure what aspect of that epic fear is the biggest, whether it's having another 30+ years of life (all four of my grandparents lived past 90) and spending it in an aged body, or if it is being alone and lonely and not able to be okay with that, or if it is fear of being invisible, cultural rejection of older women, loss of libido and vibrancy, fear of being infirmed without care or support . . . or just LONELINESS. I sometimes feel downright angry at my body---what the fuck is my shoulder doing? why is my knee making that noise? why can't I wear these shoes anymore? why does my hand skin look like that? is that MY chin????? Okay . . . I am actively working on this. I will continue to actively work on this. I see that it is my own acculturation, my own insecurity born of my culture, it's the cult of youth that tries to bury us but can't . . . and thus this is in my power to combat. There are so many of us lovely Gen X women heading into our 50s. We can be fierce, vibrant, funny, creative, cool, and relevant. We can make noise, be seen. Or, we can not give a shit what other people see and just see each other and ourselves. Sapphos here we come (lol). Youth is overrated. Marriage is overrated. What am I UNDER-rating that I don't even see?
Fear of being respected and at the same time, loved. I don't want to sacrifice one for the other
Fear? I think my biggest fear is how people see me/how I come across. It's something I've been working on for ages, trying to keep the negative defeatist part of me down by being constantly chipper. I'm proud of the person I am, and believe in being true to myself. This means that sometimes I'm seen as a squeaky wheel, and feel like an annoyance. But my mental fallback is that I live my truth and try to do unto others etc...I attempt to edit myself sometimes, and what to figure out a way to be perceived better by others. This of course, could all just be in my head!
I have a fear (stemming from social anxiety) of reaching out to the people I care about and keeping in touch with them consistently. It's not that I fear consistent communication--in fact, I crave it!--but rather that I fear reaching out and having to make a bridge to another person. I plan on overcoming this by continuing to take small, concrete steps when and wherever I can. I think given the isolating nature of the pandemic, this means really leaning into the Portland friends I've made and continuing to grow those relationships so that I feel nourished enough to keep in touch with long distance friends.
FOMO, plus I fear ill health, and early senescence. To sustain my health, I intend to organize my time to be active and do routine PT. For the FOMO, I will be more deliberate in setting goals with time bounds, and avoid undirected time.
I have always been afraid that I'm dumb and worthless. And I know it's not true. This year has made me feel valuable and important. Phew.
This fear is an old habit combining that of being left behind and rejected. Someone else's company will always be preferred to mine. It limits my ability and motivation to reach out. I spend a lot of time by myself, which is usually fine, however, it also means there is exploring that I don't do. I don't go to unfamiliar places for walks. I rarely explore interesting parts of town or cultural events. And I recognize that this reluctance could have long term effects on my wellbeing. I don't know that the fear can be entirely overcome or let go. It can, however, be felt while choosing to reach out or extend myself, anyway. That's essentially what is in motion, now. And I hope the practice expands.
I'm afraid of failure and it keeps me procrastinating and avoiding. I plan to practice positive self-talk, and taking things one step at a time, and working on my organizational skills.
I fear not going far enough and going too far. This year remains so polarizing. I want to speak out more aggressively, but fear the consequences. I am happy that I am more comfortable in my voice to share the things that I feel NEED to be shared--yet I still worry that I am being the moderate when I should be more out there.
My fear of conflict with strangers is so intense that I avoid certain kinds of activities or social action. That is not fair to those that experience discrimination on a daily basis, and it's my job as a white ally to get over myself and step up.
Actually, at this point, I feel like although I've got all sorts of fears, I've been really good at learning how not to have them limit me.
I guess a year ago I actively thought this country might be lost, and now I sort of passively worry about that. This year it hasn’t limited me. Fear of COVID worries me despite the vaccine. I hope numbers get better, and the fear will subside, but I’m not optimistic.
I'm afraid I won't make the changes I need to live a healthy lifestyle. Exercising, davening and meditating. The only way to overcome it, is to just do it! Please Gd!
I fear that ADONAI is ignoring me and allowing evil people to cause me harm. And because I fear that ADONAI is ignoring me, I find it hard to believe His promises
Exact Same as: "Your Answer Last Year: It's a fear I learned as a child because of my cruel 'mother,' the fear of being seen, noticed, and judged negatively. I plan to continue working at letting that fear go, and getting to believe that I am fine, maybe better than just fine!, exactly as I am." As I age, I am becoming less hopeful of getting over this fear.
My general anxiety limits me, if you could consider that a fear. I overthink EVERYTHING and have trouble focusing on the current moment. I am in therapy to try to overcome this, and I have been going out of my way to take time to take care of myself and do things that help my brain (working out, eating well, limiting alcohol, etc). It’s a work in progress, but we will see how it goes.
I would categorize this as a sense of hopelessness rather than fear. We live in a world where justice and humanity do not reside in the necessary proportion which would allow mankind to thrive as a whole. I am working to find the beauty in life despite this sad reality, always trying to repair any crack. I intend to try and stay positive for the sake of my daughters and granddaughters.
it's been so crazy this year that it's hard to put into words. remodeling, covid, arguments, stressing over health.... it seems for this year there are so many more things that I don't know if they are fears or anxiety issues or what? I did put to bed one of my greatest fears - losing my husband and then my home.... I got to the point that I know I'll find a way to manage this if and when it comes. It was such a huge relief for me to realize this and just how much I feared it and worried deeply about this. I'm ok now... so it's one step at a time moving onward.
I've had fear about the aging process and how it makes me feel more vulnerable. I'm not sure yet how to address it, but I'll try.
I'm terrified of insects and spend less time outside than I'd like to. In the coming year, I hope to do more outdoor activities and specifically maintain my running habit through the year so I can spend more time outdoors without freaking out about bees!
I think I mentioned in a previous response to this year's questions that I have a fear of adulthood, insofar as I doubt my ability to manage certain things out of my sphere of experience, like home repairs. But what I've learned is that I don't actually have to be professionally skilled in these specifics. I just need to network and find qualified trades people who can help me if and when things go sideways, and I need to stay responsible and save for maintenance, upkeep and repairs/replacements. It's reminding me that my fears don't necessarily have to limit my experiences...so maybe I will end up purchasing a freehold home, if I can afford it. Or maybe I can learn how to repair a few things! I'll start small and practice removing my bike off the smart trainer :-)
I'm afraid of letting go of my alone time (a benefit of Covid), and getting back into the world. I think I just need to say "yes," and it will all work out for the best.
That I will end up getting hurt again. I have let someone back into my life from my past and I just hope it doesn't bite me in the butt. When I am with him, everything just feels right. All my doubts dissolve and when he looks at me and holds me, I feel safe. I want to believe him this time. Risking it all for a potentially happy, loving, reciprocated relationship. We both want it all.
I have been afraid to make new dreams for the fear that I have no right to dream them or that they won't come true. I fear being a disappointment to others and being disappointed. This prevents me from being overjoyed when thinking what the future could hold. I want to practice by dreaming small things that may not come true an get comfortable with the results good or bad.
Oh. Haha. My fear is of rejection and loneliness and of a world seemingly gone mad. And if I knew how to let it go or overcome it, I'd be so much better off. But I honestly have no idea how. Other than to admit it and make myself do the hard things I don't want to do (IE...ask old friends to do things, or be okay with not doing things with other people. As for the world seemingly gone mad. Just some deep breathing?
My fear of confrontation in general has been limiting. It has led to difficulties within my family. While I understand the sentiment behind "if you have nothing nice to say..." but there are times when you have to find a way to share your feelings to avoid allowing them to fester. To address this, we have begun family therapy and I hope that we find ways to open communications without hurtfulness and find our way back to the loving family we have always been.
Fear over screwing up my children by being a bad mother. I (over-)analyse what it is to be a parent the whole time. I think it makes me feel too stressed and therefore ends up causing angst to the kids (and my husband). I just have to try harder not to worry I guess...fill my time more so I don't have enough time to think about it?
I think I may have anxiety. I am always trying to pre-emptively avoid disaster, plan for everyone's needs, and do it all. It is making me not a nice person. I need to address this with my doctor, or find help. I also feel like I may not seek help until I hit rock bottom, and that scares the shit out of me.
I am afraid our family won't't earn enough to maintain our standard of living. What I plan to do is breathe and lean into the fear to conquer it.
I fear dying--either too early, before I'm done living; or like my mom, with no awareness of what's going on around me, only worse because I have no children to care for me. I don't know how to overcome this. Trusting in the process?
Getting COVID is an ongoing fear. As a mother I always fear for my family's safety but we all have been surviving so far. I have gotten to see my grandsons in Boston and Florida (pure bliss). We now have a President who is not a maniac and so I no longer fear catastrophe. There is nothing to cause major fear at this time.
I have a perpetual fear of dying. Not a "fear" but a constant assumption that very soon I will be dead. Maybe spectacularly or ignominiously or whatever but that I'll be dead. I have been working toward dropping any thoughts about dying since the way it is now, even my living is permeated with dying and I know that this is holding me back from contributing my full potential to my actual life! I am resolving to remove my assured and ultimate death from the equation of my LIFE and thus live my life in its full glorious way.
Fear of falling. Falling is the most dangerous potential for older adults. It can lead to loss of mobility and a downward spiral of increasing poor health. I plan to walk carefully and often to maintain my mobility and balance.
Well, like a lot of people, I have a fear of dying. That has gotten both more pronounced and also more under control in the past year. The main fear I have is not personal, but rather related to my daughter. I am her sole support, so I want to stay around long enough to get her well underway as an adult. She's 21 now, and she's smart, and I have friends who will always look out for her, but I want to do as much as I can to smooth her way. I have been putting a lot into my house, getting repairs done, and improvements made. This is all to make it so that she will either have a good place to live for as long as she needs it, or so that she can sell it and have money. I am also trying to declutter, so she won't be left with a ton of my crap.
I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle everything that I want to accomplish. It's limited me by giving me extreme anxiety, and making me freeze and try to avoid thinking about the things I need to get done. I plan to start taking my ADHD medication again to help me focus and get things done, and also to stay in touch with the parts of me that try to protect me by freezing, and help them explore other ways of doing their job. I believe in myself.
I have a fear of being unwanted, of being rejected. I have a fear that if I put my offerings out into the world, no one will want them, and I’ll look silly and foolish and unwanted. I am letting it go and overcoming it by putting my offerings out; by moving beyond fear; by taking action through the fear. Doing, trying, failing, learning, growing, evolving.
I'm a pretty confident person and over the last week's in particular u have felt like people find me very annoying and too much. I feel like people dont like me and my insecurities are in such high alert... It so not like me and Im feeling so paranoid around people. I'm not sure how I want to work on this other than being honest, work on not being to mean or insensitive and just try and surround myself with good and authentic people.
I think I am afraid of losing weight... I have no idea why. There must be some protection that being heavy affords me. I'm currently at 213. I got to 199 for about 90seconds in 2020 despite COVID. For that minute, I thought I'd be the only person to come out of the pandemic having LOST weight. Didn't happen since my snack bouncer moved her office upstairs. My goal is 165. My goal is to be around for grandkids and great grandkids. My goal is to be ahead of my gf on the bike trails. When I was married to my exhusband, the weight kept me at a distance from sex, but that is neither a desire nor the situation now. To reach my goal, I am eating more fruits and vegetables, eating less processed foods, and excercising 5-7 times per week. Today I walked 30mins, 1.66 miles, and did 20 mins of Centr workout. Wine is a downfall... we drink wine on the weekends and when we do wine tastings, it's especially tempting to eat the fatty, salty, high calorie foods on the table. Let's put a stake in it and see where I am in a year... that'd be a realistic time to reach my goal. In the last 9 years I've lost 40lbs....kept it off until the pandemic. Have gained 13. Here goes!
I have a fear of looking unprepared or stupid in front of people I admire or respect. Actually in front of anyone. This limits the risks I take, including putting my writing out there and inviting people into my world. I end up spending too many time just preparing for stuff that doesn't happen and I end up not producing what I should. I plan on just moving forward with doing stuff even if it doesn't work, and just doing stuff I want to do without thinking twice.
I am afraid of confronting my ex secretary, who thinks I did wrong to her, but she's mistaken, and I want to put things on a clear basis. I am planning these days, when Jews ask forgiveness to other humans, to join the wave. It is something I have been postponing for more than a year, pre pandemic.
I am afraid of amounting to absolutely nothing. I look back at my life and yes, I see some achievements, but I haven't really done anything with them. I know I'm battling against ever worsening ill-health, and now I can be fairly sure that my future is likely to be severely reduced because of the added cardiac problems so my time for making something from my achievements is limited. This should spur me on, but at the moment - in these early days of these new diagnoses - it is paralysing me mentally. If I can overcome this mental paralysis then I will try to do something meaningful with some of my achievements. I suppose I'm thinking most specifically to do with writing. I don't yet know how I overcome the mental paralysis.
I fear that the cancer will return. There's a reasonable chance that it will, and yet I need to focus on living my life -- a good life, with Randy, seeing people, making a Jewish home, traveling if possible, working outside, etc etc. I will work on staying in the present!
I fear that I am a fraud that I don't deserve the success I'm having in my life. Like most fears it's not rational. I know I worked hard to get where I'm at. I'm overcoming it by focusing on the good in my life and focusing on one day at a time. When I get too far with future thinking is when I get into trouble. Enjoy today!
Fear of driving. i had an accident 3 years ago. I plan to drive again although i am affraid of having another accident, and hitting someone. Some friends said that they will go in the car with me, a friend just offered to teach me. I ubered and bolted a lot this past year, spent a lot of money.
Fear of getting close to a potential partner only for them to decide my health and my son's disability is way too much for them to handle, then ghost me. It happened a couple times, and I stopped trying after that. It's a lonely thing, really. But less painful.
I'm too scared of asserting myself sometimes (and not enough other times!). A is right that masc bullshit about giving your opinion all the time isn't usually helpful or polite but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be clear about your needs. The Sacks quote about people respecting you if you respect yourself. Idk just if you feel uncomfortable you should tell people ok? Otherwise you can't expect things to change. Have been to talking to M increasingly about OCD-ish feelings. Anxiety about cleanliness (or at least an urge to put things in order) - does it come from past lack of control (about R and generally spinning uncontrolable wobbly-rock)? I'm not sure it's serious but all these things are worth keeping an eye on. There are people who can help and there's no shame or inconvenience in finding them xx
that i'll never get better. that i'll never feel better. therapy - and pushing thru
A fear I've recently uncovered is the fear that if I embrace abundance and bcome more prosperous, I won't like myself anymore. It has seriously limited me in financial ways most of my adult life. I'm working on shooing it away at the moment.
Be unapologetic in my feelings and being able to know what I want in a relationship.
I've had a fear of money my entire life. That is always present, and more so now that I face the potential of losing my job due to acquisition. But I think a more limiting fear is the fear that I don't fit it, that I don't belong. It's something that I have been working on, and I am doing better in some cases. Facing so many potential changes this year, that fear is something that I need to face head on. Being aware of it, talking myself through it, seeking support from others - that has to be my game plan. I've come too far in the past 8 years to watch it all crumble apart now, and due to circumstances that are out of my control.
I fear having my family angry at me. I have to let it go so that I can have authentic relationships with them. I don't know exactly how to overcome this fear.
Since I fractured my leg this May and came smack into the reality that I have osteoporosis, I have a new fear. I fear that I will continue to break bones with increasing frequency through the rest of my life. I fear the fate my mother had, which was multiple osteoporotic fractures of her spine, ribs, wrist, hip. Except that for her, those fractures didn't start until she was significantly older than I am now. She was in her early 80s when she had her first fracture - her spine. And I am 65. I am petrified that in ten years I will have had the same multiple fractures that she had - a broken, painful, contorted spine, a hip that broke and had to be replaced, a fragile wrist. I fear that I will be so limited that I won't be able to be active, I won't be able to enjoy the rough uneven ground of our woodland paradise, that I will be confined, unable, incapacitated. Limited by my fragile bones. I am really afraid of this potential future. I am really trying to do what I can to alter that possible future into a better and healthier one. I am planning to get moving on the new medication that holds promise for me, and do everything I can to build my bone density. Letting it go... I don't know yet how to do that. This fear is intensely scary but also very motivating for me right now.
I have a fear of not being good enough professionally, and having people discover that I don't really know what I am doing. It has limited me by making me risk averse about putting myself out there to promote my services. I'm hoping that my positive experiences over the past year, and the praise that I garnered, will provide the reassurance that helps me let this go in the coming year. It will reinforce the little voice timidly saying "you can do this" with a slightly louder one that says "you have done this, and done it well".
I feel my anxiety and ADD have been huge stumbling blocks this year. I find myself in hyper-focus or in Lala land and there is no in-between. For my anxiety, I feel I had let it consume all my decisions and ate me alive. It became a reason I failed classes. Im planning on going to therapy.
Fear that my children won't pass on our Judaism as they aren't married- and won't have children
Failure. I need to commit to finishing what I start.
Aging is a new reality and it is always in the back of my mind. Seeing the twins going off to college and feeling the effects of aging on my body, I realize the importance of taking care of my health and keeping active. It also makes me want to enjoy my free time and travel as much as I can while I can, hike, be outdoors, read, learn, etc. Time is precious and health is precious. Loved ones are precious. Focus accordingly.
I have adapted my life to multi-tasking to a fault. I break down tasks and start too many. Interesting just thinking about it and writing it down
Fanatical racist and supremacists who attack innocent people and constantly spew falsehoods and misinformation -leading to violence, hatred and deep political divides. I don't think one can "let it go" and there probably isn't much hope in overcoming it. All we can do is fervently try to get people to vote and pray for unity.
I fear the double whammy of radical racist fascist fact-ignoring extremism AND continued COVID-robs-us-of-our-freedom. Gonna have to try and find a way to let go of the latter, and I've no clue how to overcome the country that Trump broke.
I have a fear of saying the wrong thing, being laughed at, feeling stupid. I am hoping to work on strengthening my sense of self and belief in myself as competent, smart, intelligent, brave
I don’t care if I am afraid or not. It doesn’t matter. I still wonder what I will do about work. will it work for me to be with no power answering to people who know less than me.
The fear of always worrying. Learning to focus my thoughts
Today to os sight as I have the first stage of corneal transplant surgery tomorrow. Not seeing. Not being independent not being able to read. being closed in closed off. I will breathe through it. I will visualize clarity. I will try and be patient and kind to myself and those around me each day.
I have been so afraid of breaking things because I am fat. I've been working on letting it go and just living my life and if things break they break. I hate that little childhood me was afraid to go on swings thinking they would break. I wasn't even that big! It was all in my head.
Well, my answer from last year unfortunately still applies. I fear failing, although I think I've managed to let go of that a little bit. My second and last embryo transfer has officially been scheduled for the fourth time. I'm afraid that it will fail again, whether implantation or miscarriage. But the battle is almost over, whether I've won or lost.
I’m terrified of not being able to take care of those I love, emotionally or financially. I’m trying to build my confidence in being able to do that, and my comfort in asking for help with it, as we move closer to starting our family.
Probably my greatest fear is to be ostracized - cast out in a serious way, where I am rejected to the core of my being. I plan to let go or overcome it by addressing it closer in therapy sessions and working with plant medicine. Then, between these two methodologies, I will determine how exactly I'm going to work with it...and then do it.
I still have fears about COVID, both contracting it and having it happen to those who I love. I intend to still try to keep myself safe while continuing to reengage with the world. I hope the vaccine is safe and available to kids soon. I hope more people get vaccinated and I hope COVID rates can start declining.
Fear of letting go, fear of leaving job even though I despise it. Fear that I'm messing up my kids. No idea how to overcome these except one foot in front of the other.
My fear is that time is running out and there’s not enough lifetimes to do everything I want to do. My two youngest of four children moved out next year. My parents are in their 90’s. Life has an impermanence now. The clock is ticking. A deeper fear is that we are in a very dark time. I’m devastated by what’s happening to the planet, and what’s happening to our social discourse and sense of community.
I fear more for my children's future now. They will certainly experience the environmental, social, and economic effects of climate change, and quite likely drastic social and political changes as well. It seems like we are on the cusp of plunging into a more terrible time, but maybe that's what my parents felt like getting married and having kids during the Cold War, too. I am trying to raise my children to be resilient, generous, and kind, but their lives will almost certainly be harder than mine.
I am (still) fearful of COVID. I know that the likelihood of me getting very sick and hospitalized is very small now that I am vaccinated but my kids are not vaccinated and not everyone is taking similar precautions. I am hoping that vaccinations will come through for kids soon and that enough people around the world will get their damn shot and we can start moving to a new sense of normalcy.
My fear has been both of running out of money and moreso of making too much to be able to deal with. If not needing my family’s support and failing simultaneously. Of being ostracized for being rich by my communities. And of loosing it all due to negligence. I plan on letting myself make money and not worry about keeping it. Instead focus on keeping my energetic boundaries clear and serene so that what is mine will stay with me. I plan on letting go of my money trauma by tapping on it when I need. I plan on loving myslef no matter what amount of money I hold or make or receive. I plan on release my active love deck continuously, trusting its divine intervention in the world. And my own ability to be paid. Again and again and again.
Same fear as last year although slightly modified for short term. Biden/Harris is a pause button on the christo-fascist takeover of the US by the GOP death cult. So the world is still on fire and I worry about my kid's future. There is no overcoming it (the fear).
My biggest fear, especially after the recent death of my fiance' is how I'm going to manage financially on my own. I will most likely end up selling the home I love and moving out of state where the cost of living will be more affordable.
Fear of getting things wrong has frozen me so many times I don’t know how to fix it I just need to be done with that. I hereby release that; it’s not helping me
I have a major fear of rejection that has greatly impacted me in my professional and personal life. As I've experienced greater professional growth in the past year, I am hoping to gain confidence and fearlessness when it comes to my personal life and be more intentional about going for what I want. Or, to put it simply, I'm afraid of heartbreak, but I want to put myself out there more. With great risk comes great reward... right?
I genuinely don’t fear anything, the closest I can get to fear is leaving loved ones behind. Jared is a two person operation but we were frugal in our working years and have assets to get help should something happen. Another issue is Jared will be 42, we don’t want him to suffer if and when something goes wrong as he can’t tell us ‘where it hurts’. G-d, look over Jared.
Fear of losing another baby and I hope to give birth to a healthy baby so Asher can have a best friend for life!
I am terrified of not being able to take care of myself. I’m facing retirement and a very limited income in two years. I’m trying desperately to pay off debt, including my mortgage. My health is not good, and I’ve had several recent scares and face surgery in November to address internal bleeding that has caused severe anemia. That anemia so weakened me that I can barely drag myself from my bed, or perform minimal everyday tasks. All I can do is work around the fear, put one foot in front of the other, and keep on.
I am afraid of confrontation, and it limits me by making me less likely to get what I want. I plan on letting this go at least partially by saying things that come to my mind even if I'm not 100% confident in them, by reminding myself that I would be more comfortable speaking up if I were a man, and by thinking through what I want from a situation before entering it if possible.
Fear of failure. I'm hesitant to try if I'm not confident that I can succeed. I'll work to embrace failure as an opportunity to learn and improve. It's unrealistic to expect success on the first try.
I have a fear of facing my inner pain related to my family of origin. I have dealt with the outer layers of it, through therapy, over the past 30 years or so. In my mid 50s I am now embarking on a deeper dive that I know I need to do to really heal. My sense of not feeling that I’m good enough, that I am worthy of love, the legacy of conditional love and growing up gender non conforming in an orthodox family have all weighed me down over the years. My concept of family is skewed. Some of my friendships fall victim to this. I am in a great place in my life. A wonderful partner, great and loving long term friendships, new friendships, amazing career and I have begun working with a therapist who is very good for me. So I’m doing it. I’m scared shitless of the pain, of what I might find. And I’m also very hopeful.
I am fearful of Covid and people who refuse the vaccine on principle of not letting the government tell them what to do. I fear that they allow the defuse to continue and flourish. I have no plans on getting this fear go. It serves to keep me and my family safe.
I have been living in fear for the past 20 months and Covid has nothing to do with it. I feared my divorce was going to affect my son who is completely innocent. And it did! I can't let go of the fear just yet, but I decided to keep fighting and trying everything in my power to find solutions for what happened to my son. Getting busy and having certainty that this is all for the best helps a lot.
I think I have a fear of regret. This is in relation to travel, not having kids, etc. I am overcoming this by traveling for 6 months in 2022. I want to travel while I don't have any major responsibilities at home.
Prioritizing the comfort of my routines over new opportunities. Confidence in my ability to take risks.
I have a fear of being settled, which I'm working through via therapy, but I need to also be willing to commit to something.
I have a fear of heights and it limits me by not being able to see family a lot.
Up until this year, even though I am 69 years old, and have had various aches and pains, and bodily problems, off and on, I have thought of myself as a relatively strong and healthy person. Over the past 4-5 months, I have developed a problem with my right calf, as well as crunching noises, pain and swelling in my left knee. Despite numerous doctor visits, x-rays and MRIs, physical therapy, etc., these problems persist. My fear is that I will not continue to be able to be as active and mobile as I would like to be. I do not like thinking of myself as physically limited in this way. I am only now beginning to accept that these may be more than temporary conditions. How to let it go? I don't know, other than continuing to function and enjoy to the extent that I can, without perseverating on my losses.
Yes, this is a big one - I am working on letting go of a fear of men I am attracted to. I guess it comes from deeply rooted sense of insufficiency, but I am done with it. I am going to be confident and to root into my self and to believe that I am enough. I am going to keep my energy flowing and my heart open when I meet these men who I think are too good for me. I am enough. And if we don't click, it's not my fault only, its just that we don't click. <3<3<3<3
I think my biggest fear is fear of being alone, lonely and isolated. It limits me because I find myself feeling rejected and hurt when the people I want to be close to don't reciprocate and reach back out to me. I've had a hard time understanding that if someone seems distant to me, it's not ME they are rejecting. The aloofness is something that has to do with them. So I 'should' not feel rejected and hurt but I do.Because my understanding is intellectual, not emotional. I hope I can let these 'hurts' go and accept those around me as they are- without imposing too many expectations. I want to work on being grateful for what ever love and attention someone wants to give me and not expect anything more from them. I guess that also involves acceptance of myself as I am. And accepting my feelings as they are.
That i will make big mistakes and that people will feel I’m not adequate for my job. I will try to overcome this by being more structured and as prepared as I can and I will keep learning and growing my knowledge. Plus I need te believe in myself and my experience.
Fear in general, is something I have to deal with on a daily basis. For my personality,(type 6) this has been an issue, compared to anger and shame for other personalities. Each time I conquer fear it is due to my hidden courage. I am not hero courageous, but simple life courageous. I'm getting to know that my ego has something to do with this problem and love is the medication. Not only loving others but loving myself. I usually look outward for answers but now trying to look inward more. Accepting inner guidance is my plan this year to defeat this obstacle.
My motto recently has been "get on the plane," by which I mean, make it impossible to not do the thing I (think I) want to. By doing that one irrevocable act, I am forced to become fearless. After my mother died, I told my sister I would no longer travel to see my siblings. They can come here (we leave a 3-hour plane ride apart, & my mother lived in their city) but I'm no longer going there. I am willing to risk our relationship to put it on a footing where I don't swallow everything I want & need to make clear.
I fear that I'm going to not do well in my new job. I plan on overcoming that fear, and learning as fast as I can.
A fear of death on my part or my spouse's. Don't think about it. Live for each day. do not procrastinate.
One of my biggest worries is simply time... Not having enough time to do all the things I want to do. I would like to work on being more present and enjoying the moment (and the little things), not always feeling pressure to be on the move, and enjoying the little special and accessible moments throughout the day.
Fear of pain paralyzes me. Exercise frees me. I will keep going.
Fear of discipline, maybe? I am so tired and overwhelmed that doing some of the things I would like to do for myself (getting more fit, losing weight, expanding my business) get lost in the anticipation of how much regimen they will add to my already busy life.
Hard question, this year, as my front and center fear is getting covid. I have and will remain vigilant and perhaps the way of "letting it go" or "overcoming" is to stick to my self-preservation plan and not engage with others around their lack of vigilance. I think I will write up an oath, for lack of a better word, to take in this regard.
I fear my depression overtaking me. As it is, I often have trouble leaving the house just because I have nothing to do. Looking for opportunities to get out will help. As said in other questions, perhaps volunteering somewhere. I don't think anyone really notices when they text how are you and I defer the question and ask about them instead. But if I'm honest, I am not doing well.
I have a fear of where I am headed in my transition. Having come out as gender nonconfirming over a year ago, I continue to investigate, wonder, and fixate on where I am headed. I have and continue to confront my dysphoria, responding to it with nail polish, clothing, shaved legs, and other bandaids. I have been on HRT for a few months, and I'm not even sure that's what I want. I've shopped for new clothes and still struggle to wear many of them outside. When I go inside myself to see what I want and need, I feel settled in myself for a time. However, as soon as I start wondering what the world will think and do, and how my family will react, I retreat and struggle to find my own personal compass. Some threats feel real; some are in my mind. I have come to realize of late that my gender is in my heart and mind, not in the minds of those in the world, and not in the clothes I wear. Yet, I continue to paint my nails because I like it. As a member of the LGBTQ+, coming to a place of belonging has been a lifelong challenge and endeavor. I continue to strive to belong for no one but myself.
I'd say my previously mentioned fear of aging persists. I don't think I can overcome it. But I do what I can to maintain my body so it doesn't let me down. Got my hearing checked. Have my teeth and eyes checked. Dermatologist. Head doc. I exercise very regularly. I can only hope it's enough. Life is unpredictable.
That this pandemic will keep going longer than necessary because of selfish, ignorant people. It was great not having to wear masks again while it lasted, and I’d like to be able to go back to normal, but too many people lack the understanding or empathy of what needs to be done to get there and they are the reason for this prolonged pandemic. Unfortunately, there isn’t much I can do to change it. I am already vaccinated and doing my part, as are my friends, but the unvaccinated won’t listen to reason or scientists.
I have a fear of not having enough money to live month to month. I watch my savings AC two down and never able to add into it. It has limited me as I hesitate doing anything or going anywhere. I just try not to think about it......LIG Let it go! What will be will be. Smile
I am afraid of having Covid and get a lot of side effects. I stayed a whole year at home and I took a distance from my family and friends. I will use masks all the time that I will be out of my house.
Wow. Last year’s answer makes me want to cry. I feel so much better about myself now. I feel alive and I have no unhealthy fear.
I have some trust issues I want to mitigate or hopefully kill. I've incurred some damage, and a sense of disappointment and disillusionment predates the apocalyptic meat-grinder of glaring moral hazard festival of the last two years. I want to be able to connect, in a less paranoid and guarded fashion, at least enough to feel like I can function in a relationship, enough to feel like I can build and maintain a modicum of a sense of "real" community.
I'm afraid of getting old and losing my energy and my vitality. I've crossed the threshold into middle age (hellooooo reading glasses!) and my kids are entering grade school, which really makes me feel like the stereotypical "working mom". I think this fear of aging, specifically of lacking energy and motivation, has kept me from making changes in my marriage and my home life. I want to take the focus and energy I apply to grad school and apply it to my house and marriage.
I am afraid of allowing my anxieties and depressive tendencies to make me quit or slack off or stop doing worthwhile things. I need to commit to doing more and facing the challenges and remember that it always feels better and is more rewarding when I just do it.
Fear of letting go of a job that sucks - today. Willing to do it in March of 2022 which makes more financial sense but in reality if it’s bad today why would I wait around? Trying to make it better
Doing the wrong thing. It's made me think of my life in a limited way. I will have to let it go and learn to accept when I mess up and move forward without beating myself up. And apologize when I need to.
One fear I have is Republican labeled lawmakers who have no problem lying and cheating to keep their privileged way of life from crumbling as others try to create a more fair, just, equitable world. These people drum up fear of other so that no one notices the fact that they are trying to keep rich, white, males in positions of power and wealth.
My fear is that i am not accomplishing enough effectively and honestly. Planning on taking small steps to make necessary changes, finish undone projects and evaluate options for future.
I’m so afraid of death that I let it take over my thoughts. I want to reconcile that I can’t really predict or anticipate my death or my loved ones’ deaths. I need to enjoy the moment.
I am afraid of failing. Failing in my job, in my career aspirations, in my personal life, in my conversion. I don't have an answer for how I will overcome this or let go of it, although it would be important.
Though I said in an earlier answer that I wish to embrace and accept the consequences of aging, I do have some fears around that. My greatest fear is developing dementia, which has been in my family, and also possibly being able to continue living a full life. The only thing I can do is to just keep on keeping on.
A fear not so much of getting started, but of reaching a trying and impassable point somewhere in the middle. The key is to start early, but without the goal of finishing in the same sitting. That's been my practice for the last two months, and it's brought me to heights of productivity I haven't experienced since my teens. One way to overcome it is to recognize procrastination-enabling tasks such as this survey, and to embrace the satisfaction of actual work (professional or creative). I will not be completing this survey next year. For the moment, I'm glad I've been able to wrap each answer quickly without devoting particular bandwidth to it -- I've recognized this year how facile and undeserving of deep thought these questions are. Growth comes from action.
Being 76 years old and so far very healthy I do have a fear of being incapacitated by health issues as I have been very independent all my life. I will continue to live a healthy lifestyle to hopefully avoid that.
These days I fear fascism. It is clear the Republicans have totally given up on winning fair elections and committed to stealing them; and equally obvious today that the Democrats are not capable of understanding this let alone responding to it. How much longer does America have before it is a fascist dictatorship? Two years? Four years? Not more than 1o, I am sure. This is not a fear that one can get over.
I think I have two big fears. One is my son. He's working now, but I worry mostly about his health given he's so overweight and doesn't seem to want to eat better or exercise. My second is I'm worried that my vision of retirement is very different than my husbands and how that will play into our marriage. He talks about retiring but I can't imagine him home all day. We do not have a bad marriage but we are very different people. I would not say it limits me but when I let myself think about it, its painful
I want to be more fearless. I want to do things and push my limits. I want to wear leggings and not care how I look.
I fear I will never reach the stage of actively wanting a child. On the reverse, I fear I will decide to make the leap of faith into motherhood and regret it. No one admits they ever regret it, but I know that it is so hard and often defeating, especially for mothers, and especially in the early years. I continue to rely on my gut instinct and hope that my intuition will guide me. The universe is on my side...
I have a great fear of failing and disappointing people. Every time it happens, I realize later how paralyzing and unnecessary the fear was. Nothing awful happened. My life did not end. I am going to stop catastrophizing by ending my focus on the future and looking at the present.
I’m afraid that I will never make anything of myself career wise. It’s a fear that has caused me to miss the good in myself, or ignore the things I have achieved. I’m going to continue working towards my degree, look for work, and try to be more creative. I should also try to appreciate the good things I have going for me in my life. That’s all I really can do.
I have a fear of not having enough money to live comfortably, which I think means I am too risk-averse when it comes to career choices. But I've already made the leap and quit my job, so now I am in the process of overcoming that fear and/or finding ways to thrive, so let's see how that goes I guess...
My limitation has been that I just don’t want to believe that their is a man that deserves me, that I actually have a partner that I will find and he will find me son rather than later. I am trying to change y thinking by repeating to myself that I do believe and see how others have seen their soulmate and that I’m learning what will fit me instead of negative. If I exist, and am good quality person than there are others like me. I put it out in the universe and my frequency is that I will receive my blessing, my partner within this year. For now until then, I will enjoy and be grateful for the life I’m living now!!! I need to be content with what I have lived through and be stronger!!!
I fear losing my husband. Watching him fall more than once, observing him as his stamina and strength gradually decline, seeing how many “maintenance” pills he takes for diabetes, heart, blood pressure, etc.—there are constant reminders of his (and my own) aging, and of our vulnerability. Of course Covid has magnified health concerns all around. I hope that this worry will lead to my enjoying and appreciating my marriage more, saying “yes” to activities and adventures that we enjoy together, expressing my love and appreciation to him more freely.
My greatest fear is my own inadequacy. I'm working on becoming a better man. I endeavor to be 10 percent better than I was last year.
My fear of needles has kept me from getting additional piercings that I think would look oh so cool. I've just accepted I won't be someone with a lot of holes in her ears, but I will make sure the earrings in my basic single holes are always fabulous.
I think I’m afraid/wary of contracting covid. I guess my fear is based on my distrust of myself in terms of making good safe decisions regarding staying safe. I am 71 and I had an afib episode a few years ago. It’s possible that if if I got it I would not survive it. As to overcoming the fear/wariness, I’m vaccinated. I social distance. I mask up when around others. I ask that anyone who comes into my house mask up also. It’s a process of developing good self care habits. I don’t think the fear will go away unless the virus does but perhaps it is healthy to be aware and wary. The fear no longer overwhelms me.
the situation due to Covid and the uncertainty it has created makes it difficult to define a specific fear or concern ... its a mixture of uncertainty, unresloved career path, being and or staying in Australia etc .... how to let it go or dealing with it is a huge emotional issue for my wife and I due to the fact that we have children and grandchildren in three different countries
Fear of success--or perhaps a feeling I don't deserve it has caused me to sabotage more opportunities than people with even more privileges will ever see. This year? Sabotage takes too much energy. Hoping to embrace opportunities rather than kill them.
The major fear is to accept a challenge that I am not capable of dealing with. The answer lies in being prepared: not just embrace (w/o a clue, naive), or being too conservative. But study: what successful people does, what is done, how?
I have no fear.
Pretty much the same as last year. I was beginning to get serious about looking for another job in December and January, but after my daughter died I did not want to attempt any major changes in my life. Then my husband's job was eliminated and that made me feel even more that I could not make a change. I am not sort of mulling things over. My boss is getting ready to retire at the end of the year and I don't know how a new supervisor may change my work life. I am also examining what I want regarding a work life balance for the remainder of my career and/or working life. What is important to me is undergoing a major shift since my daughters death.
doing it. doing it. I wonder if I'll be able to make the jump on having children....
Being alone… Live in the moment, have not been alone yet.. if I live in today.
Fear of trying and failing has prevented me from starting difficult conversations or projects, or even going full bore into a new career. I am working on reducing the ability of negative comments ("you sure you know what you're doing?", "why don't you try this or call this person instead?") and other people's expectations of "normal" to hold me back. I am no longer wasting my time on this planet doing things other people decide I should be doing.
I'm afraid of conflict. And so I've bent over backwards to avoid it, instead of preparing for it, or thinking it through. This means a lot of underground resentment and weirdness happens, a situation I like even less than conflict. I've often said "I don't like conflict" or "I'm not good at conflict" and let it go at that. I'm assuming there must be a better way to handle it, because I'd be stunned if conflict were to ease off in the year ahead. I don't know how to either let it go or overcome it in the coming year, but I'm definitely interested in stepping up to handle this one.
I choose not to live in fear, but it can be hard to stay there. So much evil in the world, so much pain, fires, storms, illnesses of many kinds, and political ugliness. I will continue to limit my exposure to news. I will continue to read the Holy Scriptures and try to apply the verses which tell us to think on these things: true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable and worthy of praise.
What happens if it all works? What If I am successful beyond my dreams? I am living beyond it. I am getting better systems in place to make it happen seamlessly.
Oh wow. This kind of is the undertone of my whole life. I have so much self centered fear that has limited me from living my best life. I am so aware of it now, but it is still hard to overcome. All the fears about being bot good enough, not deserving, not having a right to abundance have kept me small. I’m trying to step into my power, my birthright, shared with everyone else, and be OK with no limits and an expansive life. After so many years of living in fear, it is so hard to accept all the expansion that is happening in my life. It is a daily struggle, but I am grateful that I’m showing up for the expansion, even though it’s so uncomfortable!
I have a deep fear of change. I am so sad to be leaving this job that I have had for the past 17 years and making the leap into a new career, and terrified of what this means for us un therms of schedule and financially. I am leaning on the memebers of my cohort to encourage me on the school end, and on my family to provide support and encouragement at home.
This is what I wrote last year: My fear is that there is going to be a civil war in this country and that the people who have been arming themselves under cover of protecting themselves from government forces will come for us - regardless of who wins the election. I don't think I will let go of this fear. And they did on January 6. I also fear that we will still be fighting Covid around the world and continuing to lose lives and live with restrictions.
A huge fear that I have is being vulnerable with the people I am closest to, and not opening up to new people. This has limited me because I feel I haven't connected to as many people as I can. I have never been in a relationship before. And in all of my friendships, I always feel like the second choice. I hope to not let this get to me in the coming year. However, I do hope to work on my skills to become more vulnerable.
Pretty much the same as last year - What life & the world will be like for myself and my daughter.. How do I plan to let it go? I don't know yet.
I'm afraid of not being good enough. I often get in my own way, not thinking things through fully before I make decisions so that it doesn't go well from the start. That way I can say I failed because I wasn't good enough. I am working on putting in the time and thinking things through, using objective measures to see myself as successful and enough.
I have some social anxiety. It's not crippling, but it keeps me from engaging in more meaningful interaction with people. Behind my social anxiety is a fear of being seen, feeling self-conscious. Part of my answer for Q8 yesterday included looking at the use of my "veil" that sends "keep away" signals. To reduce reliance on the veil, I believe it would help to practice some grounding or relaxation rituals that help me to feel present in social situations, maybe keep interactions shorter, step away for breaks more frequently, remember that I actually enjoy people... Not sure, going to look into this further.
I'm afraid that my life is passing by too quickly and I will not achieve all that I want to. Next year I will strive to "Just do it". Make a concerted effort to fulfill short term goals and make strides towards long term goals.
I am afraid of driving. I can't get so many things done. Since I can't actually do immersion therapy for this, I need to find ways to work around it.
I've been struggling with feeling too much, too aggressive in some ways and worrying others have been put off by it...that I can't take a hint. I think this is mostly in my head and me being too hard on myself, so the limitation is within. I've been having a hard time being myself and pursuing the things I want relationally. I think self-forgiveness and understanding is needed in order to let this go as well as positive, affirming relational experiences to prove that self-doubtful voice in my head wrong.
I live in fear. The list of fears that haunt me and block me is far too long to list here, so I will start at the top. I fear being seen. Sometimes this shows up and fear of being “found out” as an imposter. Sometimes it shows up as “no one wants to hear what you have to say. Sometimes it shows up as don’t look stupid - I always need to be seen as the smartest person in the room. Sometimes this shows up as perfectionism. Sometimes it shows up in the fear that I am really not as good a person or as worthy a person as I hope I might be. Even reading that last paragraph as I write makes me feel silly. Of course I want to found out. I want to be seen. It’s the greatest longing in my life. And if people find out who I really am, how can that possibly be a bad thing? One critically important thing I’ve learned over the past few years is that the most important thing in changing my perception of myself is changing the evidence I pay attention to. When I find all of the examples of times I’ve failed, been rejected and otherwise been devalued for being me, I end up convinced I am a failure and will always be rejected. When I pay attention to all the times I’ve succeeded, been accepted and been valued for who I am, I feel valuable and worthy. And if I can’t seem to overcome the negative bias and find evidence of worthiness, then it’s my job to make evidence. Making evidence means having exceptional courage. It means showing up when every fiber of my being is screaming NO. It means looking every single one of that long list of fears directly in the face and saying we’re doing it anyway. It means stepping into the proverbial arena and listening to the heckling, the boos and the negative critics and doing it anyway. It means being willing to accept failure as a natural consequence of trying and as an opportunity to learn, and not as evidence that I am a failure. And all that is hard. No, it’s impossible. But I am starting to do it. One step at a time. I am taking simple steps. Things that have lower cost or less fear and making evidence. And then starting to take on the harder things. And keep going until I can look my fears in the face every day and life wholeheartedly and fully as myself - exposed, showing up for myself and getting there. So my task is build evidence. And keep taking harder and harder steps into the proverbial arena. And forgive my failures.
I kind of keep obsessing on managing my parents' trust and estate in the event of one or both passing... I was proactive recently by having the call with Trey and deciding to contact the attorney but I want to keep working through this fear by obsessing less, taking more proactive measures, and staying more present.
My most palpable fear is a fear of heights which I have had all my conscious life. I don’t know how to overcome it. But it is something I might try to learn about, even though I am almost 72 years old. Other fears? Not a fear, but a concern: Being Conscious about what I do, and making the right choices that put me, not my cravings or earthly desires in charge of my life. How to overcome this - stay conscious, ask before I act. Give time for guidance. And act despite the strength of my cravings.
I fear that I am not good enough--as a wife, a mom, a grantwriter--and I will end up alone and jobless. (This sounds ridiculous writing it out.) But I fear I am always falling just short of goals and letting people in my life down. Or, with grants, what if I'm not so good at it and I just stop bringing in money? I am going to work on letting things go/overcoming them by being authentic and honest and sharing my fears. I truly want to be the version of myself I can be, so then I can be a better wife and mom. Work is just work, and I need to internalize that the rabbi says just because we don't get an application funded doesn't mean it wasn't a beautiful application. (He's not wrong.) So, I guess I also need to internalize that perfection is unattainable and unrealistic goal.
I fear closing my heart and mind to possibilities. It has kept me from living my authentic self. It is time to examine the values I held in the past. It is time to assess how they have affected both to the benefit of my Self as well as the detriment of my Self.
I fear I'm getting old, ugly and invisible.
To quote the Police, "must I always be alone?" I'm afraid of being hurt. I tend to jump into relationships fully and hurting when it inevitably ends because I wanted more from someone who can't give it. I see the best in people, trust my ability to accept them as they are (often to my detriment), and let myself dive in, knowing my sorrow will seep into the rest of my life. I have responded by putting up walls to avoid putting myself into the situation. My kids deserve me at my best, and a relationship inevitably interferes with that. I'm not the first to go through this, and I'm usually fine, but sometimes it just hurts.
My disability it limits Me a lot physically and I'm not sure what my true limits are. I'd like to push that more
I fear investing time & money into curating my own event for it to not do well. It limits me because I haven’t done research on venues or gallery spaces because I feel like I’m not popular enough yet. I plan to overcome it by starting small and gradually doing bigger events
I have a fear of loneliness and rejection. It’s been exacerbated this year by moving out of a share house with my friends - who now no longer speak to me… which was then again exacerbated by my city going into lockdown. I have a really good group of friends who are all overseas so the only time I get to talk to them is very early or very late, but I plan to keep in touch with them at every opportunity to try and keep my mental health ok. I started dating someone just before the lockdown started which then of course ended since we can’t see each other… this year has been really fucking hard. I don’t really have a plan for the year ahead, but I’m hoping maybe the lockdown will end someday and I can try to be social again… maybe.
That my husband will not get the hospital treatment he needs and that I will have to be more and more of a carer to him. It creates a lot of unpleasant tasks. I will approach our doctor, in the hope that he will do something about it despite confidentiality.
fear of success. whenever i plan doing something i imagined myself succeeding and be worried of the changes that come with it: fame and popularity, changing places and people. I feel safe in status Que. I am working on my fears and my energy field. I have to let it go.
I am strangely fearless right now. When you contemplate the end, everything else ceases to faze you. I plan to continue my death contemplation meditation practice. I don't believe there's any other way to live fully.
The fear is still the same... perhaps a little more 'real' with Covid. Suddenly even if you are planning to do & fit things in, you can't. Are the 'sands' in timer running out even faster? So put the brakes on it.. and cherish the moments. Plot and plan and fit it in when I can. Take the pressure away. But also take away the lethargy of thinking one has loads of time to fit it all in. Fear re finance, still real, but rally trying to adjust to the thinking that I'm actually okay with finance, but strive to get better and better... and the time for all the above is now! Actually time blocking it in to see what I get to actually fit in... Joyous!!
I fear over-population, continents of plastic in our oceans, the extermination of species, the terror of human-induced climate change, wild fires, floods, drought, food poverty. I fear all this. These fears do not limit me. They embolden me. I speak up. I am a warrior against plastic; pollution; poaching; and the culture of buy-buy-buy. Thanks for asking