Think about a major milestone that happened with your family this past year. How has this affected you?
A major milestone for our family.. Mom and dad retiring to our homecountry. It was not easy to watch them pack up a home and leave. Watching mom put memory after memory in moving boxes, I suddenly realised how big a part being a parent played in her life especially. She gave us all of her love and time and heart, and I can't imagine watching each one of us grow up and leave was easy on her. But Mom never let it show. She never clung too hard, just a little. As a 30+ adult now, it hit me how hard Dad was working to provide us our life. We never lacked of anything, and I don't think I ever truly felt the gratitude of it then when hugging him good bye before they left for good. Life where we live is expensive. As an adult making a living here, I now know. Their mortality hit me hard, they suddenly seemed much older and frailer and I wish I had just a few more days with them. While my chapter of living close to mom and dad ends, my sister's begins. She will see them at a new phase of their lives and will likely grow closest to them in their old age. For that, I am grateful. Throughout their lives, one baby bird has always been close to the nest and it brings me comfort to know they never truly had to let us go - at least not all at once.
My daughter arrived in January and while she was ill, she was an absolute delight otherwise. Her leaving us suddenly and unexpectedly in August has left us in deep deep grief. I've never felt such grief. However, I do cherish the memories and the smile she would give in the mornings when she saw me. I have to keep moving especially for the sake of her elder brother.
It was not a major milestone, but in all of the horror that's gone down, politically and personally since COVID hit, it's easy to forget that I had a 45th birthday, with a lovely party including so many friends from different parts of my life...and even though it ended with someone I'd tried to be a friend to acting in a pretty rotten way...it was still a pretty great party that I look back fondly, for the fun, for the connection I had to new and old friends, for the good food I prepared that people enjoyed, for the dancing, the kids...all of it.
Three May family graduations - my wife's PhD, brother's MD, and sister's PT - were flipped upside down when COVID-19 rendered travel and gathering impossible. Workaround measures like compiling a tribute video from loved ones and organizing a drive-in salute for helped to mark these occasions and ring in the new doctors into the family. I'm so proud of all of them and the careers they're embarking on to make a better world for the patients and clients in their care.
My husband and I both turning 60 years old this past year reminded us of how fleeting time is and convinced me that we need to stop saving for the future and start living in the present.
For the first time in my life, I have not spoken or interacted directly with my mother for close to four months now. This has been a long time coming. Mother has been difficult and narcissistic as far back as I can remember, as is my brother, and my father to a lesser degree. I want to know what it's like not to have to see them or talk to them, or allow them any significant place in my life. It's been great: a lot more focus.
Within the five months before turning 95, my father fell, broke his hip, underwent a hip replacement, acquired aides and retired. My siblings and I expected these events to be more traumatic for him than they ultimately seemed to be. He adjusted to his new reality with relative sanguinity and grace, continuing to thank God for each new day. This was a relief and an inspiration to all of us.
Lol, I’m laughing at last years answer xD “ Leeroy and I decided to stay together and everyone seems pretty okay with it” well that is still a milestone this year. We broke up and fixed it. I almost lost my job and fixed it. I sucked at my job and fixed that. So it’s been a okay year.
We didn’t really have any age-based milestones this past year, but the achievement milestone of my kids learning to ride bikes has opened up a lot of positive opportunities. I had forgotten how much I love riding a bike. I’m looking forward to getting my own bike soon!
Chris moved to Maryland. Even though it's a big change for Mom to not be as close to his family, we will get together more frequently as a whole family. Looking forward to having more holidays around here.
The beginning of the year saw my mom is good health and a wonderful visit and trip to Harrah's casino in January! She has been in good health all year! We also have two nephews engaged to be married and a third nephew has a new baby! Lots of graduations too. We have experienced these events vicariously through social media. Finally got to see the family in person at a wedding shower with goats and chickens (thanks to my niece who has taken up animal husbandry!) in September and that felt great!
Cause of the pandemic, my family's forced to be around each other more often than ever. This is good, but also bad. My dad still is a child and my parents still fight. My sister's mental health isn't so great because of it and I wish I had the financial means to take care of them to relieve their pain. But at the end of the day I'm going to love/support them from afar and pray that they'll break free soon.
Having more contact, over zoom, than we did before pandemic. It is teaching me to be more patient with mother.
Emily was born! March 1 which is wild timing. She's absolutely adorable and even though I was only able to meet her in person once, I am so excited to be her older cousin! It was really nice to move to the same city as Traci and so much of my extended family. I'm excited to get closer with them.
I will continue to be in this weird limbo for a while. I'm too scared to predict the election outcome in November. I will continue with the tour guide course and hopefully be close to finishing it this time next year.
My grandpa passed this year, it was hard to process, since I couldn't fly to be with family. I could feel that we didn't have time to grieve as a family. It doesn't feel as real because we didn't get a chance to be together and be sad about it. Even now, I sometimes forget he passed.
Mark got married! It hasn't actually affected me, really. I mean, I love Karalyn so much and I am really happy to have her as an "official" legal part of the family... but I think it's also cemented in me a desire to be more affectionate and loving with my family, (or at least my brothers.) I guess it's more difficult in person. It's always easier to say what you want to say when you are removed from the immediate impact of your words (i.e. via text message or 10q comment box) but I want to try to be more intentional about letting the people I care about know how much I care about them. I am not always great at that.
Well. I’ll be getting married and my brother moved back home and I’ve overcome an immense season of depression. Not much more to say than that it has been a slow, kind of somber triumph.
Yovel's birth was big. Doubled my grandmother-ness. Now there are two souls I yearn for, that I can mostly only know through whatever pictures and videos their parents can catch.
Seeing her get ill again has been tough - it has made me realise how afraid I am of losing her.
What should have been a major milestone, my Mom dying, has been so overshadowed by everything else (my aunt committing suicide, COVID, moving, my Dad moving away). The pace of change has been so intense there's barely any time to dwell. Maybe this is what they mean by becoming stronger through challenges. I've barely noticed the impact of COVID because of so many other challenges in my life this year. I miss my Mom, I wish she could see my new house and reassure me when I feel like everything is wrong. But overall I'm surprised how much my husband and the kids have come together during these hard times instead of falling further apart.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. And it's been amazing! He and I are both better- better mentally, better people, etc.
I really struggled with this question, as it feels like there hasn't been much in terms of major milestones in the family this year. Certainly no big good news stories (weddings, babies etc). My sister in law, Laura, has been leading a project to commemorate the babies lost in Ireland's mother and baby homes, and this year it's really taken off - she's been featured in the news and there's an amazing momentum to the project. So that's been really lovely to watch. I really hope it moves into something more permanent for her - she is such an inspiring, creative force, and I think she needs to do more in this world!
My theme for this seems to be all about having to move from Israel back to the States. It has significantly affected me in so many ways. My mental health has gone to shit, as well as my relationship with my mom.
I have eight siblings aged 59 to 70. Our parents have been dead 42 and 22 years. All the siblings are generally happy, healthy, productive members of society. Shortly after the Shelter in Place Started I suggested we do a Zoom call every Sunday with all the siblings and our extra sister/friend. We have consistently talked every week for somewhere between one and three hours. Most weeks all of us are on the call. We have varied positions on important issues but we remain civil and loving. I think this is remarkable, and I know our parents would be (or are) proud. I know I am proud to be a part of this family I deeply love.
MY BEST FRIEND IS PREGNANT. i cannot wait to see her and matt as parents. jen is going to be the best damn mama bear. she will be firm but fun. her kid is going to be intelligent and capable and confident and know they are so damn loved. i cannot waitttttttt.
We have two toddlers now! Their personalities are in progress. During quarantine, they spent more time together than they ever had. They were both home together all day. I saw their bond really develop and it's like they fell a in love with each other. It melts my heart to see that between them, gives me hope a close relationship they can have their whole lives. I'm also incredibly happy and content. I see them, and look at Paul, and just feel so much gratitude. I feel like we've made the family we dreamt of. We living in the "good ol days"/ "the best days of our lives" right now. I'm still not ready to say I'm never having any more kids.... but for the first time, I can't imagine changing a thing.
In March I asked my daughter to move out of my home. This was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I knew we were heading in the wrong direction and I could no longer be her guide. She was either going to sink or swim, and I had to give her a chance to test her abilities. Thankfully, oh so thankfully, she has flourished these past six months. Our relationship is better than it has been in years. That co-dependency thing is real.
My dad's health majorly degraded. He had a series of intense panic attacks. His anxiety and inability to change has totally crippled him to freezing. His balance has gotten a lot worse as a result. I love him and I care about him and I want him to live. I want him to meet his grandchildren. Honestly, I want him to just be able to see me graduate. Or see me get married. I want him alive and to be in my life. But at his current state, I get stand to be around him. It feel like a huge slap in the face that he isn't even doing the little things to improve his health. It feels like he has given up. On him, on life, and on us.
Ed's and my 18th anniversary. Although not an actual milestone, it was not able to be celebrated the way we would have liked due to the pandemic. Since Ed is an essential worker, he wished me a happy anniversary through his mask as he headed to work.
At the beginning of 2020, the girls were in 2nd semester of college. They were just starting to adjust in January and February. Then, that stopped. Our children’s launch was developmentally arrested. We are closer. And they are more distressed as they try to envision their futures in a world filled with political hucksters, wildfires, and unemployment.
I turned 50 last year, and while it was not a big party, my sister bought me a necklace with 5 rings on the chain, one for each decade. It was really thoughtful and I cherish it. We also sold the house (pre-COVID) and that was a huge accomplishment. The work getting it ready was monumental and for awhile it was empty, which made us sad. But now a new family with little ones is there and they love it, which made us very happy.
My sister and I found ourselves trying to parent our parents about the pandemic. They seem to be much more liberal about behavior choices and it's hard to know if they don't have the right information and we just need to tell them, if its our job to convince them for their own good, or if they should get to make their own decisions relatively near the end of their life. Ben also got Lyme disease, which was another reminder of how quickly things could change and how lucky we are to be as healthy as we are. Both of these things make me appreciate how hard it is to parent - to care, to try to protect, to not be in control. (And both have probably reinforced a mild tendency toward over-worry about health and an attempt to control.)
My parents celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary. Typically, we would throw some sort of party or take them for a nice dinner to celebrate but with COVID, we didn't feel comfortable with doing either. My Mom also turned 65 this year, and we did throw a very small surprise party for her. My Aunt & Uncle drove in from Vancouver, but otherwise, it was just the immediate family (our cohort bubble). We had ALL of her favourite snacks (cotton candy, chips, angel food cake, etc.) and enjoyed a BBQ. Mom was absolutely shocked and had no idea!
More than 15 years ago, my husband was accused of sexual assault. Though he was innocent, and the girl later admitted to making the whole thing up, he was still tried, convicted, and sent to jail, in addition to being added to the sex offenders registry. This year, after 15 years on the registry and about 18 years since the whole thing began, he was finally released from his obligations and removed from the sex offenders registry. This is a milestone I haven't openly talked about with friends, because no one knows. But it has weighed on my heart every day of the 7+ years that I've known him. I am beyond happy for him, that he's finally free from this injustice, though it essentially ruined his life for almost 20 years. He would be a completely different man if this had never happened, so he would not be the man I fell in love with, but that doesn't mean it was in any way fair to him and the future he could have had. But now, I don't have to worry about our future children being the subject of rumors or bullying because their daddy is a sex offender. There's not much more to say, beyond "I'm so ready to put this behind us and move on."
Celebrated 20 years married on April 1. That was the first big Zoom party most people I know attended. I think it set a positive tone for this year for us in spite of the crumbling world.
We've been more distant than ever. Covid has really changed our ability to see each other, to visit. FaceTime isn't the same at all. It feels like a lack of support. Like a lack of love and the warm fuzzies I get when I'm around family.
we're hopeful stacey's spots are going away, and will be finding out later on this month. i'm relieved, but not quite yet. (test results). they're in we're in all's good.
It will be my Dad's 70th birthday this year and we had a family trip planned to SA. This obviosuly had to be cancelled and it is sad that we cannot celebrate together in the way we wanted. But, we have to focus on the fact that we are all healthy and safe.
I think getting myself off of OW and into self-employment should be seen as a major milestone. It's given me a sense of gain and self-worth. It's also made me suddenly aware that working for someone else would not be the end of the world, were it to be well paid. I doubt anyone will pay me as much as I pay myself though, so the forray into entrepreneurship will continue for a while now :) It's nice to know I have money and can support my small family. It's negatively impacted my time though, and therefore I feel my relationship with my son. Even if I'm a maker, I don't want him to grow up feeling like those kids that have 80hr a week business parents that are 'go go go go'.
My Step dad had to have emergency surgery in Nov, having to rush home and all that entailed. His ehalth yo-yoing, teetering... I will likely never forget having that sad Thanksgiving, spent trying to be upbeat in the Nursing home, with My mom and her sisters, eating take out turkey out of styrofoam. Overcome as I drove my stepdads SUV home, pulling into the gas station to cry. It was sad and scary full of anxiety and grief. It turned out ok... but the fact is my parents and their siblings are not getting younger or healthier. One day soon things will not turn out ok. Their mortality waits out there for them, and for me.
my husband started working from home, and that caused a lot of shifting around of physical space and time schedules for me, even though i am retired. because quite a few of his (pre-covid) meals were outside the home, the whole food planning thing came to a head when i couldn't tolerate hearing the phrase "what're we doing for dinner?" every mid-day; we had to do a renegotiation of sorts.
I mean. Losing Dad, obviously. The effects remain to be seen and I don't really have the bandwidth to delve into that right now.
The second miscarriage was big. Really big. I was ready to pack up all the baby things in the house and throw them out. Grief counseling was the smartest thing we could have done, but baring my soul and saying out loud how I felt like a mother of three kids, with only one alive was just as hard as you imagine. They matter. That kid deeply matters to me and a piece of my heart is torn out because of it.
I went on an RV trip with my kids. Without my husband. I remembered that I am supermom, I am strong, I am a traveler, I am independent, I can do things on my own. It felt good and I'm so glad we did it. I felt strong and accomplished.
The kids graduated high school! Suddenly we have "adult children" and it drastically alters how I feel about my place in the world. I remember their "childhood selves" fondly. I'm falling all over myself with pride for what competent, caring, self-actualizing, responsible people they are in the world. I'm almost amazed to see them meet obligations financial and professional, and profoundly grateful to think that I have had at least some small hand in that -- all those years wondering if we weren't somehow secretly screwing it all up, well, I guess we weren't, at least not badly enough to have a lasting impact. The over-reaching feeling is gratitude. I cannot believe how meaningful it is to have them in my life, to be a part of their lives, and as our relationships sail through this rather immense passage and become something completely new -- a thing they have done many times, but never at this magnitude -- I am coming to understand that this is the very fiber of what it means for something to "have meaning."
As per Day 1: Death of my mother-in-law. I've always liked and loved her. But hadn't realised how connected I was to her. Watching her slip away was traumatic, albeit quietly. Massive resentment of the ravages of cancer and how it can strip such an elegant and gracious person of their dignity. She shone through it; that's a win for her - but it was cruel and messy and horrible. I can hardly wait for the death of death. But we must all pass through the portal, thanks to Adam for kicking us off - and to the rest of us who stupidly assented to the course he chose to take.
There have been four! Birth of my son, death of my father, my husband being laid off, and my sister moving away. In some ways they have all been hard, as pandemic shiva and bris were not the same as in person, but the layoff has been the hardest in terms of getting into a day to day schedule that works for all of us.
We entered into couples' counseling, and it has been hard. Worth it and good, but so hard. There was a time when I thought we wouldn't make it, and that was excruciating and humiliating - or humbling. It made our early enthusiastic love seem arrogant. We have never met our therapist in person. We are deepening and softening, and we are still together. And we are changed. This is not the foolhardy love of the start of our relationship; this is a deliberate decision. Purposeful and chosen with laughter and joy, and also deep pain. I hope we are able to navigate it all with kindness and courage.
We bought a new home. We will build a family home together. It makes me feel grown up.
There was no major milestone with my family in particular (every family has experienced COVID related issues), and I'm not inclined to fabricate one for the sake of this exercise.
no family, no milestones. MY major milestone is my 75th coming in May. I won't be able to celebrate as I wanted - a blowout trip, like a safari. Monthlong stays somewhere here or abroad or Canada every couple of months. Doubt they'll happen. But, I am so ahead of millions of people looking to feed themselves. My new mantra: "oh, well"
M is debt free! He paid down the last of his student loans this month. I am so, so proud of him, and excited for his future financial goals. I've been so excited and motivated by my ability to save and invest in our future, and I know he's looking forward to being able to do that as well.
Following my divorce, I sold the home where my sons were born and purged much crap that never should have been saved over the years. A fresh start!
A major milestone. Maybe that my mother was in ...no, that was last year. Oh, my mother turned 80. We had tentatively planned on going to the Isle of Wight to take part in an annual walk the island fundraiser but it was cancelled because of Covid. It was underwhelming and I felt badly. I had meant to make her a special salad and to have a meal outside in the park but we went for a gentle hike in Ellison Park. I feel guilty. It's my usual, lazy, selfish non-response response to someone else's big deal. I don't put myself in their shoes to think about how I would have wanted to be treated.
COVID did pause a few people's travels up to see us, but I tried to make up for it with Family Zooms. Those have been great!
Matt moved in! And we got engaged! Our future is bright even as the country crumbles around us. It is my shining hope in this year.
Not much has changed between me and my family. If anything I feel like me and my mother’s relationship continues to get worse. I want to be with her but she just continues to disappoint me. If it’s not her badgering me about my career choices, it’s about her lack of emotional development. She’s condescending and a bit of a narcissists. I recently found out my great aunt was alive until recently and my mother never mentioned it to me because she had beef with her cousin (my great aunt’s child). I just feel disappointed. And there’s no point in addressing it because at this point she won’t change.
Its not within my blood relatives but it is related to my close friends who are often more supportive to me than family. My housemate, Y.K., got engaged but had to break it off after discovering mental health issues on her side. My close friend, A.L., also broke his engagement after a long-winded attempt to salvage the relationship, also due to health and mental health factors. My close friend, P. G., also had several false starts with dating and a woman he has been pursuing on and off for a few years rejected him.And now I too had a false start. I dated R.S. for the entire summer and thought we were getting closer to getting into relationship status. Just when I thought we were moving in a more connected direction she broke up with me just because she didn't have strong enough feelings for me. She is the first woman I ever kissed, made out with, and touched sexually. I feel like I was led on and then abandoned. It was my longest dating relationship so far and I invested heavily in terms of time and attention. I find myself back where I started just as we start a new year and cycle of life.
In June we finally settled on a final set dream (after a few years of tossing it around) of going RV Full Time, exploring as many of the National Parks on the western half of the US and maybe settling for longer stays on the west coast with our friends out there. Have started following other families doing this for ideas/inspirations. Hope to work on selling everything and the house, buying an RV and being on the road within a year. This has affected me in a very positive way, to finally have a dream/direction. Can't wait to not have a house full of stuff that we don't want/need, it is very overwhelming for me. I want to travel/explore and enjoy life with my family without being caught up in the routine of life without time to enjoy it!
Due to COVID-19 for the first time in my life not be able to visit Israel - especially since we had a trip planned and have lots of family- has been incredibly challenging as had not seen family in the States in such a long time. Both help realize the importance of family and of always making the effort to attend family events regardless of what else is going on. My brother-in-law and niece were in a terrible car accident where the driver in the other car passed away. They survived and are thank God healthy. I reflect on this and ask myself if I fully appreciate the gift and blessing of life, their health and if I truly realize how different life could have been.
We moved our residence and it has had a positive effect on me. Our daughter and son-in-law had a son, our second grandchild, and that impacted our lives, especially because he is named for my father.
My secular sister's son got married last fall to a non-Jewish woman. Our side of the family, unfortunately, didn't get professional photos taken. The newlyweds discussed their sorrow with my sister in a call the other day. Without the pictures, our memory feels somewhat erased. I doubt there will be children from this marriage. I've had none. The first-born sibling never married. My other brother, alav hashalom, married a non-Jew and their daughter is Christian. I wonder what my Jewish grandparents and earlier ancestors are thinking as they see our rich heritage faltering away like a faded - or untaken - photograph.
Our daughter, who is our eldest child, graduated. Sadly, she did not get to have a ceremony or go away to college. I'm relieved (selfishly) that she is still at home for now. I am proud she is working 2 jobs and am glad she is still living with us a bit longer.
Getting engaged! My engagement dinner was the first time I've had dinner with both of my parents in over ten years. It was both anxiety inducing, and such a beautiful moment I am very grateful for.
My father's declining mental acuity has left my siblings and me at a loss how to care for him. Besides the loss of memory - the lack of personal contact has been hard to accept.
My major milestone was adding a new member to my family--his name is Rufio and he is my new dog! I adopted him from a rescue group. I applied over the summer and it took them a while to get back to me, but eventually I went through all the steps (interview with group, interview with foster mom, my case was taken to the board, I had to arrange a pickup, I drove all the way from Lubbock to Austin and back to get him) and brought him here! The first day I had him we lost him--he ran away while we were eating dinner with Aunt Wendy and I don't think I've ever felt that kind of despair and panic. Thanks to what seems like half the college-age population of Austin, TX (they were running after him! they were renting scooters to cover more ground!), we got him back. It only took a few days for him to calm down and get attached to me. For a while he was following me everywhere, no questions asked. But now, he's more comfortable in the house--he can stay on the couch while I run to my room for a quick minute, or he can play with Ollie and amuse himself while I'm gone. That being said, he's definitely curled up behind me napping in my chair as I write this. :) It's definitely going to take some being used to being a mom. I've never had a living thing depend solely on me to live. It's not like feeding him and bathing him takes a toll on my schedule, and even if it did I know where my priority would be--I never want to see him suffer! But it's an odd feeling. I love it though. I want to give him the happiest life I possibly can, and imbue every single moment with all the love I have in my heart. Wish I could post a picture here so I can compare it to next year!
My cousin Charo tried to end her life with some pills. A situation we have already gone through with her a couple of times before. This time it happened in the middle of quarantine and her two kids, my cousin Myriam and Miguel suffered a lot. Being away from them, not being able to hold them or help them relieve their suffering was very sad and made me feel hopeless, upset and frustrated.
The milestone that affected myself the most was being away from them for over five years now. Finding my own person and self of independence helped to transform the individual who I am and inspire to be.
My dad died. The oddest part about his 'passing' is in how unaffected I feel. I don't feel all that emotional about it. I don't have a deep ache or longing for my dad. I don't feel particularly guilty about it either...just off. Does this lack of mourning mean I didn't love and appreciate my dad? I don't think so. Does it highlight some of the challenges within our relationship? Perhaps. My brothers and mom and I have a weekly zoom call now that my dad has died. My last extendo-visit with my mom seemed to be improved by the dynamic of my dad's death as well. He made a huge impact on me and on my family, yet I feel so...fine without him. And I know he lived a full life and that I got to have him in my life for 45 years. Still, I don't anticipate my mom's death going down so easily for me.
Luna has turned into a nice dog. I guess it was about a year and a half ago when Luna got out and got in trouble. She was such a pain up until then, that I was kind of relieved at the prospect of having to "rehome" her. It was still an ethical dilemma, but I really felt like we had done everything we were capable of doing up to that point, as she really wasn't must fun to be around. I am so glad we found our dog trainers and they were able to take her right when we needed them. I also feel fairly vindicated that they needed to keep her an extra week. She was better after that, but since this spring, she has started to be a lot of fun. She's nice to be with and can go everywhere. She behaves herself. I'm beginning to feel like she was worth all of the expense, embarrassment, aggravation, injuries, and time we put into her, and I'm looking forward to having a long time with her.
My son moved 1,000 miles away at the beginning of the pandemic, to live with his dad in LA. He has lived with me primarily for the past 6 years, and really for the 2 years since his dad moved to LA it's been 100%, not just MOST of the time. It has been a major adjustment. At first I was extremely alone. Lonely, solitary, alone, everything. My vacation was canceled, so I had a staycation, but I mostly just moped. I had a hard time focusing. But eventually I hit my stride in a solo life, and eventually eventually started dating, in spite of the pandemic, and that has been really meaningful to me.
Daughter graduated high school. It saddened me because it means my first baby is almost grownup. Covid, meant I haven’t been able to see my dying mom but for a few times.
When we moved away from Harker heights it was difficult because I didn't get to say goodbye to all of my friends I knew it was a better place here but almost as soon as we moved here COVID-19 started so I have no friends it makes me angry.
My older daughter started pre-k! It's hard to imagine her as a kindergartener next year (or to fathom the fact that I am the parent to a 4 year old!) She's learning so much, getting so creative. I'm constantly in awe of her developing brain.
Transitioning to retirement is huge. After 16 months I am making the turn to a better “day after day” lifestyle
There wasn't any major milestones in the family. Of course things shifted, but nothing that disrupted the ways we usually think or interact.
Really just not talking to my siblings for a large part of it. Even now I feel like I can't share anything with them, even if I had an injury or something happened, I would probably not tell them, which is sad. I'm trying to be more 'generous' with them, particularly Bess, even though our phone conversations are not a priority for her, often she ditches out or doesn't text to rearrange. But all I can do is my best.
Motherhood has changed my life forever. I am a mother. I can’t do many of the things the same was as before. My baby’s considerations now come first before mine or my husband’s. We are a family and this love is like no other. I miss some aspects of the freedom and independence of not having children but there are other things to be gained
My parents are clearly beginning to experience many of the not-so-fun parts of getting older. My dad recently gained a new pacemaker, and my mom fractured two cervical vertebrae and is having a very slow recovery. Mom is sometimes a little overwhelmed by it all, and Dad too, but in their very different ways. It has affected me because I have a far more active role in their day-to-day lives from time to time (whenever there is a new crisis or negative event). I jump in when needed, then back out slowly to make sure I'm not invading privacy or overstepping bounds. It's hard to navigate, and I hope I'm doing an ok job of meeting both their physical and their emotional/privacy needs.
I turned 65. this was a big help, because I'm now getting a Social Security check and have access to good Medical care through Medicare. Not to mention those senior discounts!
Jared and Jess have made plans to move to California. I am uneasy and sad that they will be 3 time zones and at least 2 plane rides (2 days of travel, really) away. They are ambitious and not especially close with us, so I see why they'd want to get out of NYC. Just sad they weren't interested in staying closer to Maine.
There's a change that happens. My wife's grandmother passed away. She was 102 or so. I can't remember days and months now, but it essentially marked a transition that ended my wife and me as the children in the family, even with children of our own, and made us the parents. We have seen a commensurate change in our responsibilities in the larger family as our parents now seem to be aging more themselves. It's sad. I'm sad about it, nostalgic for the younger carefree days, but also sensing the press of mortality, which is only exacerbated by the current situation.
Because of us all sheltering in our respective homes, we began zooming with each other once a week, either playing an online game, watching home movies, or talking about current events or what was up in our lives. Definite silver lining to the pandemic.
Grandma (and probably grandpa) got covid. It was pretty scary at the time, largely because no one knew what it was for ages. But since then we seem to have almost gone back to normal! They don't seem to care that much - more interested in seeing their family.
Pam's mother died (of Covid + being 94) in April. It's made me sad that she was never able to come close to realizing everything that she had to offer the world, sad for missing her (and for Pam's missing her), angry at the president who allowed this scourge to run rampant...and aware of my own mortality, as I am now the oldest in my family.
We finally have the $ to buy a house. This is no small feat in Marin County. I feel we all contributed to this even though my husband is the primary earner. I keep our home running and our kids active with friends and that takes a lot out of me. I am also thrifty, so that helps. Knowing we can now buy, should we choose to do so, is helpful as we go into this election.
We moved to NYC. We broke up and worked through our hardship and are becoming closer. (Sept)
My dad has left Claremont! After 40 years there (1980-2020), his move to Newport feels monumental. Not sure if that's a milestone.
My mum bought her own house. After 5+ years of slow-motion divorce, dad bought mum out of the family home and mum bought her own house in the city she now lives in. It feels so good to know that mum is in a new space, we can go and stay and hang out and reconnect with her in ways we couldn't for the last few years and I have hope that it means she will start looking after and loving herself.
The most major milestone we experienced this year was my one year wedding anniversary. It was wonderful. I can't believe my luck at having found the most amazing, kind, smart, loving, handsome man. He is my everything. Being married to him is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I don't even deserve him, yet somehow he loves me so much.
Our son was a freshman in college starting in the fall of 2019. He is an only child, and his departure from our home was difficult for both his father and for me. I felt somewhat unmoored--unanchored to the days. Although I work, I've always worked from home so I could be there for our son and even as he grew older, the rhythm of my days was based in part on his schedule and plans. Letting go was challenging, made more so by the fact that he struggled with being away--perhaps he was not quite ready, or perhaps it was normal adjusting to being away at school. But I found it incredibly hard to take care of myself, while offering support to him, but allowing him to grow and learn what he needed to learn from the experience. I'm better with the separation this year, knowing that our connection is special and it will always be there --sustaining and comfortable knowledge to hold in my heart.
Dad turned 98. I'm so glad that we celebrated BEFORE the world changed. It seems amazing that he's still alive, well, and has all his faculties.
Dad died. Its been /wonderful/. Stress over money is just /gone/ because mom has the purse strings now and she's happy to help. God it has been so nice. The only down side is that I have to go over to mom's once a week to do house work and take Sophie to the vet, but honestly its not that bad. And it means that I see her every week. When dad died things with Ryan and Otylia got..complicated. Ryan had a very different relationship with dad. he liked him, he didn't have mom telling him all the problems they were having. I've told Ryan about what it was like for me, and I'm pretty sure he believes me? Maybe? Or maybe he thinks I'm blowing it out of proportion. Otylia actually told Stacy that she didn't think dad was an alcoholic. And I've been so, so angry at both of them since she told me that. So angry, and I haven't been able to let it go. also when dad died for about two months after mom was acting like he was a saint and that he hadn't abused she and I for years on end. She forgave him. He said he was sorry before he died. Never mind that he never changed his actual behavior. That he never apologized to me. I refused to help her rewrite family history. He was a bad person, who was cruel to the people he was supposed to love. And perhaps it does me harm, but I'm unwilling to forgive him for that. They say forgiving someone is good for you, but its not in me. Its just not.
Well, my mom died last December. I don't care, and I think not caring is a milestone of sorts. Because I was an "accident", an unwanted child in the 50's, she rejected me and subtly guided the entire family to do the same. By the time I was a teenager, I was invisible, (except when there was criticism to be meted out), and lived on the fringes of a family to which I desperately wanted, but was never allowed to truly be a part. I was so deeply wounded and assumed for years that I was rejected because something was wrong with me. I tied myself in knots wondering how to change myself, to be acceptable. I wanted to belong for so much of my life. At the end of hers, I was her caregiver and treated her humanely and with dignity, but I no longer wanted any part of belonging (in fact had actively rejected it) and I had no emotional attachment whatsoever, to my mother. With her death, my life is actually much easier. At the end, she was completely bed bound, demanding, and due to her already unpleasant personality, amplified by dementia, had no filter. She said shitty, spiteful things to me, while fawning over my brother, (her favorite), an entitled narcissist who let me do all the work in regards to her care.
The major milestone of taking my dad to Israel really changed him. It changed me a bit too, because it got me questioning my identity in this world as a Jewish woman with no children even further, and also my life as a biological sister to someone who I do not wish to have a long-term relationship with. As I get older, how I relate to the world, my family and my faith is dramatically changing, and I'm not sure how it's going to pan out in the long-term as my life settles a bit more, especially after this pandemic is over.
Moving into 6th grade has been a major milestone. It's made things harder in some ways to keep up, and definitely has more kindling for arguments, but it's good to see T taking more responsibility and learning how to get things done timely.
Lockdown has improved my marriage and it was good before. It has made me happy.
Janette died. Her death knocked me in unexpected ways.
For Christmas 2019, we celebrated at the hospital with Mother Em then went to Christmas brunch without Mother Em. It was odd to celebrate Christmas without Mother Em watching over the program. During May 2020,Uncle Mark, the Godfather of my family, passed a week before his birthday and a couple weeks before Mother's day. It was already a scary time when he was admitted to the hospital during the COVID-19 pandemic becuase hospitals were getting crowded and limiting visitors. Of course my family is strong willed and made sure someone was always at Uncle Mark's side but we weren't ready lose him so soon.
Uhmmm I'm not sure, but I got a house! I'm a mixture of emotions and I'm excited for the grounding experience of having my own forever home.
New babies in Vic's family, but that doesn't really effect me. Nice to see the family grow.
Weekly family Zoom meetings. They feel wonderful!
Making the time to spend as a family in Melaka last year was a good thing for us. We're growing old and growing apart so fast, and my parents even more so. The time we spend together are becoming more limited and more precious as the years go by. It made me realise that my time with my parents will come to an end sooner than I want it to be, I'm not sure if I'll ever be prepared for it. Not in the current situation where we're still unresolved in our wish for each other (for me: for my parents to accept me as I am and accept my relationship with Rahul; for my parents: for me to come back to Islam).
Our living in Florida for the last year has been major for us. I have always lived close to my family so we are always there for the big things and little. Its been tough living so far away - not being there for Kit's first day of kindergarten, celebrating birthdays with family, not being able to give Austin a hug when he's had a bad day - all of it has really reminded me how important family is
Our daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer. We’ve been helping her and the family through this journey. She’s a remarkable woman.
My middle son graduated from high school this year and it was a very different experience since it was a drive-through graduation and he didn't get to experience the typical senior end of year activities. He's also transitioned well into college and is doing that virtually as well. I feel that he's an inspiration to continue and stay positive despite the setbacks created by this continued pandemic.
My father died one week ago today. I feel like I am split in two. One half of me wrote a beautiful obituary, helped my mother clean house and distribute belongings, and prepared food for a family gathering. That half is composed and started back at work today. The other half of me wept in the car for two hours one night, clutching my dad's afghan to her heart like a child. That half is having trouble sleeping and desperately wants her Papa back. I don't know when the halves will coerce into one unified person again.
My grandmother has dementia and only a few weeks ago has completely forgotten everyone - and gotten really angry. Had to have a conversation with my sister about the fact that she’s mentally no longer with us while physically still here. I’m sad that because of covid I didn’t get to visit her as planned - before her memory became worse.
No real major accomplishments this year.
Mina got a phone and Jackson turned 19, and this has been a year that has brought in more than just passing contemplation of the future for us. Just recently been thinking of really what happens when Jackson is 21 and over. Also, the split with Sylvia...affected both Doug and I and I had to do some really hard digging to come to an ok place with it. Ultimately, I think, I was led to Reiki and that has shown me that it doesn't have to be such hard work.
Our daughter graduated from the sheriff's academy and my son became a Consultant Pharmacist. I am happy to know my children are successful.
My daughter and her wonderful kids moved to a foreign country. I thought it woul dbe devastating to part, but I develpoed enough emotional strength to wait for their return. I will see them again.
My second granddaughter was born. My heart soars when I visit with her and her older sister. Nothing like being a grandparent.
My brother turned 60 and I am just two years behind him. Why do we put so much attention on the round numbers? Yet we do, and I do, and 60 is bringing up so many questions for me because we have talked about retirement, moving and maybe traveling. I am thinking about downsizing and about photo albums and who will get all the family history that has come to me over the years. I know I am healthy and strong and will likely have much more that I can do in my life, but this feels like the first winding down number. Or maybe just an acute awareness that the next adventure I choose better be a good one because their is only time for a few more!
My kids graduated from high school. That was a huge relief, because they made it through and because my daily stress level is greatly reduced. But I also felt sad about it. I used to tell myself I would fix some of my bad habits and make a nicer home for them before they flew the coop. I didn't do it, and now it's too late. I feel like a lousy parent.
My brother moved back home, after a big breakup with his girlfriend. It just made me more grateful for what I have at the moment.
Becoming a father has made me take the future more seriously. On the one hand, I am but a link in the chain of humanity - no more and no less. On the other hand, future life cannot help but be shaped by today. And when today is so sinful, I feel a burning obligation to wake up and shine, like a lighthouse. "Lighthouses don't go running around the place, they just stand there shining" In my family, community, neighbourhood, country and world, there is a need for more lighthouses. Many, many more lighthouses. Fatherhood has awoken the spark in me. May we be many lighthouses, shining in this night.
Definitely Dad having his heart surgery. It was very scary when he was first hospitalized, because that's never happened to him before, and especially during Covid and I couldn't be there with Mom and Dad, but I was able to go home safely, and his surgery was a success. It made me realize how fragile life is, especially his, and it's so easy to forget that since he doesn't act his age. It made me realize I have to be there for Mom when he goes, but that's easy to do now since I'm so close.
My dad turned 70. He's now, I guess, officially "old." I realize my time with him in this lifetime may be somewhat limited. He is retired. I feel sad, but also frustrated. He is becoming somewhat of a rigid old dude. I wish he would open himself up to some new attitudes and novel experiences, like taking LSD or meditating, or doing a men's empowerment weekend. I want to know him more deeply. I don't think he even realizes how much better his life could be or how much sweeter his relationships could be if he was willing to drop is armoring. I want to help him, but he doesn't seem willing or interested. I feel disappointed, but my work is to love and accept him whether he changes one iota, does a total 180, or stays exactly the same. Fortunately, I already love him, so that's easy. But I would like a stronger relationship with him.
Mike Oscar and I all moved in together! It wasn't totally planned ahead of time but we figured fewer places to go bc of covid would be better. Esp avoiding mike's populous apartment was part of the idea. It was nice! And a great way to test the waters of living together. I've felt more and more like this is my family. I used to look around and see other families and feel like a loner. Not necessarily a sad loner (although sometimes) but just that kids and "family life" wasn't something I did. Now it is, and this is mine, and it's really sweet.
My fit father died unexpectedly Jan. 1 of a heart attack. I am seeing my mother mourn the loss of her love of more than 60 years and live alone for the first time. When I visit her, her apartment, which was once filled with banter, laughter, love and connection, is now quiet, still. We are sad. Their kids--we are grateful to have had him as our father. He was patient and kind, with a brilliant mind and sharp wit. There's a void that we will never fill, and an overflowing amount of love that spills from our hearts. We all knew LOVE and gave love so our only regret is not having more time with him. There's just never enough time with those we love.
My family and I were quarantined together, well mostly. My dad works as a paramedic. There were some people who didn't want to be around us when we were able to go back to work because of that.
My pops passing. My brother had to organize the funeral without me. It’s made me look very deeply at my relationship with my dad, and at my own patterns, especially now that I’m going to start my own family too
I don't know if we've had any major milestones, but some minor ones are that I have started training with Tyler for his Bar Mitzvah. I think that this has given us a stronger bond as brothers, and has been really fun for me. Another one is that we have started to think about getting a second dog, which has been super exciting.
Honestly nothing really big happened in my family this year.... my parents and oldest brother did go on vacation to visit my other brother on his semester abroad in South Africa in early March. I was resentful at not being included and invited until the last minute when (they knew) I had to decline because at that point I had already committed to jobs and flights were too expensive. I had reassured myself that I would visit him on my own later in the semester. However, shortly after, the COVID-19 pandemic exploded and everything shut down, and my bother was sent back to America early from his semester abroad. I think part of my resentment is from feeling like I'll never be able to afford these kinds of experiences. The other part is from so badly wanting to visit my brother who I rarely get to see. He's also a delight to travel with, and I would have loved learning from his experiences there, because even if I go to SA someday, it won't be with him.
Eleanor started kindergarten! It's been great so far, and she's doing very well. She is sooooo eager to learn. And she even loves wearing a uniform, which I would not have expected. It has given our family more focus around learning - now that she has homework, we take some time to go over numbers, sight words, counting most nights. After years of somewhat free-range parenting I think this new structure is helping us all to focus on our kids' development in a more organized way.
This has been a rough year for my family. My brother is home and can’t get back to his job in Japan, my dad is dealing with health issues and may drop out of his grad program again (and is grumpier than ever), my mom had COVID, hurt her knee, moved for a new job at which she was discriminated against for having a disability and quit - she is now fighting them to stand up for others with disabilities, but all in all, no one is feeling good about where we are. I began speaking with my grandmother for the first time this year, that has been great and very meaningful
My grandmother died. The rest of them are dead to me. BYE!
One year closer to retirement. One more year of grief at the deaths of both of our sons. More investment in our children and their financial futures. It's another year of milestones, like all of them. This has not been a year of milestones, but of focus on planning for the future beyond our deaths and what will become of our surviving children.
My family is just as disjointed as it has always been. The only difference is now I know to remove myself from others issues because I can’t fix anyone or anything that doesn’t pertain to me. I am focused on my dreams, my future, and my mental heath while continuing to break generational curses.
My mother passed and I don't feel like writing about it.
It's really hard to think of a major milestone. I will say this -- my son got accepted into a school for kids with language based learning differences, and this was a big deal. We are thrilled. I literally felt like I began to breathe normally and more deeply when we got the news. This was the school I pushed for him to get into. My spouse was less on board, but I knew in my bones this was the right school for him. I think it will be such a positive experience for him.
I had thought I might get married in the past year but he cratered and while it caused me pain in the breakup, the outcome is that I saw him for the immature person he is. But the best part is that the work I have done over previous years allowed me to manage my emotions and feel my sorrow without holding onto the anger and sadness.
My dad turned 75 and decided to live in South Korea indefinitely. We aren't very close so this doesn't change much for me, but it is pretty wild to think of him living out there for the foreseeable future.
A major milestone was discovering the patterns my mother follows of fear, negativity and guilt. My sister and I have always had different points of view, I’ve always been closer to my mother and always tried to be there for her. Until I couldn’t anymore due to my own life falling apart. Now she throws it in my face that her neighbors daughter helps her with everything and I’ve had to step back and make boundaries, and my sister and I have deepened our relationship because now when she guilt trips both of us we can talk about it instead of me being the one to cater to her every whim. It’s been interesting, but it has improved my own issues with fear, negativity, and guilt tripping that I learned from her. I see it now that I’ve missed out on opportunities from learned fear responses. I think I’ll do better from now on, and hopefully mother and I can repair our relationship with healthy boundaries.
I turned 50, my daughter turned 10, and my dad turned 80. Those age milestones tended to make me stop and take pause. How is it that so much time has passed? How can I slow it down? What can I do to make all our time together special so that I can look back with few regrets?
This one is again COVID-related. Because my parents are both healthcare professionals who are still going in to work, I have not been able to spend time with them since the pandemic hit the States. They are both over 70 and high risk as it is, but with their extra potential exposure I don't want to inadvertently transfer the virus to them. It means that my father and I can't have our weekly lunches, and my mother and I don't have Grizzlies games and Orpheum shows. It's increased the frequency of our phones calls but decreased our face-to-face interactions. While I don't miss driving to their house, I miss them immensely.
I can't think of a major milestone. Thank God. All is well. We are a beautiful, varied, multi-generational tribe who care, bitch and talk behind each others backs and love each other deeply. So cool.
Tim's death was huge for the family. When the crisis was still unfolding and Alicia made Amanda call me, she spoke as if she was changed enough to maybe reconcile with me. At Tim's celebration of life, she very clearly showed me she had not matured enough for that. For me, seeing the entire family ignore me showed me not how unworthy I am but how deeply damaged they are. I do still worry about my self care in that I had overlooked this family "feature" for so very long. But especially with the isolation of the pandemic, I am becoming more self assured and feeling I can recognize a bit more should I get into another toxic relationship.
I can't think of a major milestone, other than purchasing a property. More and more, I am thinking about retirement and aging, even though I feel too young for that. Life seems to be moving along quickly.
Adi and I both started our careers. I like to think that this has made both Ima and Aba very proud.
Ken and I got married. It is something very exciting and meaningful for us both. We have come along together on this journey in life and decided we want nothing more than to build our life together. This has taken a lot for both of us as we have both experienced failed marriages. We did not enter into this agreement and partnership lightly and we have built upon a very solid foundation. I have actually found the other half of my soul. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced with another human being.
•02/03/2020 - My daughter's 1st birthday •30/07/2020 - My parent's 42nd wedding anniversary ❤
Anjana got pregnant and is giving birth in one week! I was so focused on not being able to go see the baby because of Covid that I forgot how much joy there will be just from getting to watch this new life grow! I am so excited!!!
I'm not sure what counts as a milestone. If it does count, I'd say me deciding to work towards moving out is the most significant. With all my disabilities, I can't take care of myself. I've relied on my mom for years. Ever since I graduated high school, our lives have revolved around tests, appointments, treatments. I've felt stagnant in life, but too scared and weak to do anything differently. I've learned a lot more about myself and how to take care of my body this past year. New diagnoses, new medicines, new understanding. I finally started getting to a point where I could consider moving out. Finding ways to get support. Although COVID threw a wrench in all my plans, I can at least say I'm mentally ready. Which is the first step. It's been hard for my mom to think about me not being in the house. She worries so much. She's terrified if she doesn't have me right by her side. And I definitely have my own anxieties, anxieties that have led me to lean on her more than I probably actually need to. We're learning how to strike the balance between support and independence. It's led to some strife, but also to us understanding each other (and ourselves) much better.
Lost my husband a year ago. Turned 60. Feeling hurt that I could not spend this milestone with him
My grandfather passed, I was not able to go see him when all of my family was around him and instead had to go at the earliest 3 day weekend just to see my grandmother. It always shows me how much my family loves me in the DR yet I'm stuck in this country because its where my life is.
I got married!! Joey didn't get married. My mom was hit by a car and my dad was hit by a tree, highlighting how close we all are to death, and especially my parents' age.
I proposed to my partner of 12 years on the day after April Fool's. It's something I've wanted for some time, even if my actual plan was somewhat influenced by the onset of the pandemic and postoperative painkillers. I'm so happy I asked, and happy he said yes. It has freed me up, in a way, to be honest and vulnerable in a way I didn't really trust myself to do before.
My sister and her husband had their baby; I got to hold him 5 days after his birth. I see them on Zoom every week. I wish I could see them in person.
my great uncle died. it was my grandfathers brother and I never new him that well, I wish I new him better. we all loved him very much and were devastated when he died.
We turned the tide after eight years of warfare to a commitment to peace, to kindness, to not fight. I discovered the triggers for Robin’s irritability, and changed my own behaviour toward her in many ways. I am, therefore, still married, and living in the house again. But I’m not the same. I now know I need a lot of alone time, that I love having my own space, that I have to hold my ground when I put my foot down. I know I wasted so many years. It’s okay - essential- to back off when Robin is grumpy. I’m allowed to go away to protect myself - I have to do my due diligence, but sometimes that means backing off. I know I haven’t been giving Robin her needed space, but I also know there’s only so much I’m responsible for. I need more time to myself.
Gran. I feel less guilty. But also sad (not everyone has a happy ending)
Lots of movement, lots of small milestones. One cousin left Southern California for the northern part of the state. Another is opting out of fire-prone zones and moving to the central coast. My husband's brother, following the loss of his wife last year, is moving from the midwest to the southeastern US with two children in tow. How has this affected me? Nothing dramatic; I just note what's going on. Tendrils of possibility arise: should we move from this dwelling where I've lived for over 30 years, from the city where my husband has lived his whole life? If so, where? No conclusions, just sifting possibilities.
Dad retired, right as my year off ended. It was a weird time but now it’s seemed like a good change
Losing Matt and Saba hit our family hard. Matt was the glue, quietly brining us together, checking in with everyone, truly interested to know how things were going. His love of family made me feel secure, included. Losing Saba rocked us - we lost our patriarch, our family home & gathering space. Peaceful lane was the center of our family, and Saba was one of my main connections to my Abba. I think as an extended family we're a little lost, trying to figure out how to be together with more huge holes. Trying to figure out who will step up to gather everyone, lead everyone. Passover we all stepped up, got creative, really engaged, even if it was on zoom. I'm curious to see how things will continue to evolve.
Our youngest daughter started school. My baby!! It's made me reflect on how quickly the time really does pass by. As they say: the days are long (oh yes they are sometimes!! lol) but the years are short. I am so proud though. I tend not to get super sentimental about these things. I really try to view these sorts of things as gifts; gifts that not everyone is granted.
A major milestone was me converting to Judaism. I came out about that, lost my boyfriend but gained a very supportive girlfriend. It has been stressful for sure, just like any breakup. But it also felt good to stand up for myself.
Tyddyn was left unattended by the Hills for the longest period for over 50 years! The realisation was actually quite rewarding. To know that our family had been coming to that valley for so long felt good but dealing with natures advance after our enforced absence took A LOT of effort (mainly by Mum & Dad).
Ruth and Liam moved out as she and Vic prepare to marry and live in his house as a family. I miss them and am happy for them. Living alone with Bob in this house is more comfortable and less lonely than I expected it to be.
Baba decided to have Assisted Death, and was accepted. Her farewell via video was arranged so quickly it was upsetting for me. I attended the strangest Zoom meeting of my life. Much to my surprise I called back in to be there for the actual procedure as well. The last person I'd watched die was my mother, and the PTSD I acquired from that is still around a little bit. It got triggered watching Baba, though it took a day to realise it, and I felt messed up for a week or two. It's odd, watching someone step out of this realm and into the unknown that we'll go to. Kinda messes my head. Her decision is something I support 100%, it was just so very surreal witnessing someone choose their date and time to go, say their goodbyes and then, nod off and go... Compared to my mother it was peaceful, dignified, predictable, calm, decisive and consensual. There was closure. It seemed so simple it was stark. It was exactly what she wanted. Maybe I needed to see death this way.
My dad got cancer again and I think that shook us a bit. He is doing well and just finishing up radiation. He also has some early signs of maybe Alzheimer’s. Trying to spend more time with him and make sure his brain is active. Don’t watch too much tv! It really does rot your brain!
My partner and I bought a house! We saw it, put in our offer, closed, and moved in the middle of a pandemic. We navigated several learning curves of home buying (first time home buying, in our case). We prioritized and managed projects together, which was a huge accomplishment and a learning experience. In addition to the joy an comfort it brings us while working from home, it affords us outdoor space to host and connect with loved ones safely. It also allows us to host our out-of-town siblings, which is important in their own ways. We have talked at length about the privilege to be in the position of buying a home -- at our age, in the current market, and in the current economic conditions.
My sister got a boyfriend and he is an awesome guy! I went to visit them twice, and we got closer with her. It is important to me to be ok with her. I also saw my mother. Things were distant and cold, or rather polite from my side. Better like that than letting her hurt me.over and over. I guess that would also be the thing to be proud of!
Our son had an accident driving while drunk. Thank God, no one was injured. I pray that this was a wake up call for him and he will get treatment. I am relieved that he has been forced to recognize his drinking problem. It is challenging me to find respectful, not intrusive ways to talk with him about what is happening. I have to work hard not to be over vigilant about what is happening in his life--and somewhat relieved that he and his family need to work this out without my being there.
See my answer to Day 2 about Paula needing to go into residential care, temporary covid reprieve notwithstanding. It has been so hard to come to terms with a situation that has no perfect outcome. One whose only outcome that is painful and raw. Paula must eventually going into care for Clare and Diego and Max and Sara's wellbeing and quality of life, but it is not what Clare most wants, and it certainly would not be Paula's first of 100th choice. It has affected me in that it is teaching me to sit with grief I cannot escape and a shitty situation about which there is nothing to be done. Equanimity. It is this way. This is how it is. How very privileged I have been not to have confronted something like this sooner.
Elizabeth started kindergarten. COVID was a blessing in disguise because it meant that we ended up finding a private school for her to attend. At first we were going to send her to a Catholic school, but then received the blessing that the school was full. We ended up sending her to an Episcopal school where the community is more accepting of divorce (!) than the Catholic school would have been, and that offered a degree of separation rather than the entanglement I was fearful of having with the Catholic community while I worked on discerning my best course of action regarding my marriage. Thinking about sending her to parochial school tapped a deep well of emotion as I reconnected with my past, growing up attending Catholic school. I reunited with the version of myself that I had imagined when I was that age, and I reunited with the values, hopes, and goals that I have always carried most dearly. And after the emotional rollercoaster of experiencing this reconnection, experiencing rejection from the Catholic school, frantic applying to additional schools, and the flood of relief after receiving acceptance for her to attend the perfect place for her, I spent an entire day weeping in bed.
We all had to go inside. Lockdown happened in March and represented a major shift to the internal world, both physically and spiritually. We have had to recalibrate ourselves to what is truly important for survival.
Got married! At our one year anniversary, I've never been more sure of that choice and more grateful we did it right before all the shit hit the fan.
There have been no major milestones with my family this year, or the distance between us has prevented me from feeling it I’m any significant way.
Both of us retired. Danny's was long-planned after 35 years of employment at Zimmer just about one year ago; mine was due to the toxic environment at Woodlands after 28 years of progress, in December. I worked part-time out of loyalty until I was suddenly fired in April, without anyone telling me. I was just shut out of the desktop at the direction of the CEO. This confirmed my opinion of the CEO.
I got married and my youngest brother had a baby. The family is growing. My wedding was the last time we were mostly together (my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and one of my sister in laws and nephews were missing). No one from my family has met my nephew yet.
We were supposed to celebrate my son's bar mitzvah but it got postponed. There was no other major milestone. I suppose the other major thing was lockdown which we came through well. I think we've come through it with our mental health intact which is an accomplishment in and of itself. I am proud of us though I also feel guilty that I didn't do more meaningful things with the kids during lockdown.
My sister-in-law Jacqui died. I am reminded of mortality and the privilege of life.
A family milestone. I guess my sister had one, it was her first year at college. I was supposed too be graduating this year, if I had been able to even get past my first semester. My family is still giving me grief about how she can do it when I can't. I think it's just distanced us further, which honestly I don't see as a wholly bad thing. Chosen family milestone? Harrison and I rescued a pregnant cat, River Song, and 3 kittens survived. Polar Bear, Snowball, and Squeaker. Stormy (Z''L) was a fading kitten but he died loved, and that's what matters. Polar Bear has become my best little friend, and all of the new cats were a blessing for helping us get through this ridiculous time.
Kids are growing up and I am carving out some space in this world to share God's love to all that are open to it.
I don't really have an answer for this. The only major milestone I can think of would be me turning 50, but it didn't really (and wasn't ever going to) feature my family that much. Sure I had lunch with my mum and brother, but that was always going to be the extent of it.
My daughter became an adult!!! She just turned 18. I am very proud of her and lover her so much. My son is starting to drive now and just took him to drive around the neighborhood a little for first time and he was so happy (and good). I can't believe they are growing up so fast. The nice part is I still feel needed as my daughter who is 18 now wants me to go with her to get a bank account :)
My brother got engaged! I feel really joyful and excited. It was so nice to have something to look forward to and celebrate in the midst of covid. It makes me feel connected to a future beyond this difficult time.
Release...from feeling I can't be true to me because I will incur their anger. I care, but I don't care anymore. I am tired, and I just want to be me.
I’m thrilled that we were able to celebrate three family weddings. I’m so happy!
My mom died in December 2019, a little over two years since my dad died. I miss them both terribly, and in general I miss my Ingber tribe. I am consoled by my ability to see David leading Romemu weekly, by my relationship with Abby - and by the text I just received from Aunt Wendy wishing me an easy fast!
My youngest sister took a big new job in Dallas and left our home town. In doing so, she pushed herself in a big new direction instead of settling for the comfort and security of home. I love her so much and am so proud of her for doing this at 26 because I wouldn’t have had the guts to do the same at that age. When I was 26, I settled for what was easiest. She has a big life ahead of her, and I can’t wait to see what she does.
Brexit. My boyfriend has been steadily drinking and smoking more and more over the course of the year. I'm worried sick about him, but he doesn't notice or care. As British people living in NL I feel like we are now second class citizens in Europe, despite speaking the language and paying taxes in Europe for twenty years. I would love to burn my UK passport and never go back to the UK again. I fear the UK will soon become like cold war Russia- a police state.
my father moving to Korea and my mother moving to Philly, allowing my little family to live in their home. Giving my son a rich active life. My husband being laid off is a bit of a milestone in that it gave him more time with our son. It gave him the opportunity to be a bit more introspective, to seek help, to start new healthy projects. Rico passed away this year, it was very hard. Since his passing we gained 2 cats and 1 dog. Our house is full of love, and immense chaos!
We moved, in large part to lower our monthly rent bill. We accomplished that, but the move was very hard on both of us. Not sure if I would have done it, if I had to do it all over again.
Both of my parents moved this year. My dad moved out of my childhood home, where he lived for 35 years, to live with his girlfriend, with whom he has a tepid, if stable, relationship. So strange to think of a stranger living in my home! The sound of the phone number is so familiar to me that I used to sort of sing the tones as I recited the number to people. My mother finally moved out of a house that she can't afford to live in a retirement community. First, strange that my mother is old enough to live in a retirement community (she complains about all the old people shuffling around, so I guess she's not that old yet), and also sad in that this feels like the final goodbye to my step-father, as my mother sells the house in which they lived together and where he died.
For me really it's the new paths of communication with my brother. We talk now just about life. It's really great and I'm enjoying this.
This year, we all got to spend time, during the pandemic, in South Dakota. No road trips or site seeing, just family time. It was awesome.
Having a grand daughter. I feel a huge responsibility to pass on my Judaism and family story and to make sure that she is kept safe and raised right.
Kids at home is something special. It´s fine but it requires a lot of organization. I believe that in time I will be longing for these days.
A major milestone was the Disney Cruise for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. It was major because we had never traveled all as a family before. I realize I need to take care of me so I can be fully present for my family.
We started IVF just a few months ago. It has actually been really exciting and feels like exactly what we need to be doing in this strange moment. So far the process has been pretty easy and I am continuing to think positively that we'll have a good outcome. It is definitely a gamble but it is one we are excited to take. Though I am not a science person, I find myself very into the science of the process and appreciate learning more about my body. It's amazing what is possible now and I am cautiously optimistic that we'll have a new member of our family next year thanks to this technology.
My sister is dying. Then I will have no more of my original family. I'm sad.
Maxwell went to kindergarten this month, and so both of the kids are now in school fulltime. I think it's great that they're both in school because they both need the social and educational experiences at this point in their developments. And, it would be an understatement not to say that the quiet in the house is nice after 6 months.
No real milestones. I realize that's why I'm having difficulties with these questions this year. I feel as if I'm still in the same place as I was last year. (Family-wise, that is. My carreer seems to be finally taking off.) It's not a bad thing, but it's also not something I'm used to. We moved so quickly getting here and now - nothing. Sure, the baby turned into a toddler. But I kind of hoped I would've been pregnant again by now.
I turned 40, I don't feel 40 but that is what everyone says about getting older. I really wanted to do something special for that birthday and it was so ordinary and disappointing it really broke my heart.
Don't think there has been a major milestone.
The death of my mother last fall has affected me strongly, because we were what I would call emotionally estranged. I always went to any family get-together and sometimes went just to visit and she was always happy to see me. But our connection past surface things was threadbare. We weren't what we could have been. Now I have deep regret about that and can't fix it. I feel like I was a bad kid, and I can't do anything about it now. So my grief is more about why did I think I couldn't do anything about it? And what could I have done? I just didn't have the skill. Neither of us did.
A major milestone was that we began to appreciate each other more after the pandemic. On my end, I am proud that I am able to be calmer around them (even though the last few days has had a lot more yelling/fighting - old visceral triggers) - this has come with less guilt and more self compassion, which in turn has allowed me to see them as flawed human friends who happen to be older than me than my parents who failed to do x and x.
Not to be redundant but my sons graduation was so impactful. Also - the mortality of our parents. It’s been 12 years since my mother died, I can’t help think about who next. Who by fire - who by drowning...
Covid19 has had a major effect on the world and the impacts will be long lasting. We have been very lucky to not have been struck by this virus. We live on acreage in the woods so can self isolate easily. However, our daily routines and all of our plans for 2020 have been cancelled or disrupted. My husband's main outlet with senior men's softball was totally shut down, including all tournaments. This caused a major ripple in his routine until he readjusted his view of our small world.
11 years of marriage - grateful to be happy and still growing and glowing in love
My biggest milestone with my family is the shift to thinking of my family as first my wife and I. This has an important source of interpersonal and intrapersonal growth. I am happy with this change.
We bailed out my husband's parents from serous and debilitating credit card debt. It brought my husband and I closer together - a united front in the face of adversity - and further proved to me how unattached to money I've become. It felt very freeing affirming this about myself.
On May 23rd, my mom turned 70. Although we were unable to celebrate in person as planned, our family was able meet via zoom to share special memories and all the qualities that make my mom such an incredible human. Now that my parents have reached their 8th decade, and nearly two years after my grandmother's death, I am starting to come to terms with the fact that my time with my parents is limited, and this has resulted in my desire to maintain a stronger connection with them, even from a distance, due to the pandemic. I have prioritized phone calls, emails, and text messages to check in, and look forward to seeing pictures of their walks together and visits with friends. They have truly reached those so-called golden years, and their happiness and ability to live comfortably brings me joy, and peace. Their plans to return to Florida for two months this winter are still on, and perhaps one day I will join them for a beach vacation! I am hopeful that we can be together next year, when I will reach my own milestone birthday!
No major milestones. Niece is 4, Nephew is 1. Grandma is 89, planning to visit her the week after next.
There have been some significant milestones with my family. My mother died five years ago. My father (finally) received a kidney transplant. My daughter became a teenager. My brother initiated his divorce. I made the decision to live more independently. As a result, I have met the next great love in my life. All of these events have affected me greatly and have given me the strength to live with more purpose and joy.
My family is pretty much the same, and everyone is healthy, thank goodness. My girlfriend and I rescued a chihuahua from running into the road, and my sister adopted it, thus securing us visitation rights. I love being the godparent to something so adorable.
Just a few months ago, my Father was diagnosed with Esophageal cancer. Very quickly, he got a stent, went through radiation, and is now in chemotherapy. I have had a challenging relationship with him over the years but now, I am in a new phase of a relationship with him. I call him at least once a week. I tell him I love him, and allow myself to well up with tears when he says how proud he is of me. I am bothered less by his cheesy dad jokes and patronizing advice, and admire his strength and positive attitude. If you're reading this, don't wait till a relative becomes seriously sick to restart your relationship. Make the most of the time you have.
It does not feel like I had a major family milestone in 2029. We are just humming along this year.
Josh finally moved into his own apartment. I'm hoping he'll learn to care for himself and not be quite so dependent. This is a big load off my shoulders if we can get all the resources lined up.
My year started off the same as the past several years. My son was back in our lives and we spent the fall and early winter in a warm and wonderful family place then came February and the world fell in. First the cancer that was always in the background of my life came roaring back. I was told that I needed surgery to remove my eye. In the mist of dealing with that the pandemic took off and even the plans I made to deal with the eye cancer blew up. My world narrowed down to the 4 walls of my house cleaning and zoom meetings. My husband says that the world was given a huge time out when the pandemic hit. In many ways he is so right. The pandemic forced me to stop and take stock. I called to let got of so many well thought out plans that were now impossible. Instead I learned to ask and receive help from others. I learned to live into the moment of each day. I learned to stop and reflect of the joy that is in each new day and each offer of kindness. I learned to be thankful for what is instead of wishing for what might be. In a crazy way COVID 19 gave me the gift of seeing and loving life as I live it not as a distance dream or wish
We lost my grandma this summer. It was obviously very difficult to see my mom go through that. I think a lot of young women suddenly see their mom through a new lens when their mothers become so frail/are grieving. But it actually brought our family a LOT closer. we saw our cousins who we haven't had contact with in a decade or more. our family stopped social distancing - something REALLY necessary actually. We were really intense before the death shifted all of our priorities. In a way, my grandma's death was a good memory from this summer as weird as that sounds. We drove 20 hours to florida and bonded with my sister's husband who we barely knew lol. We spent the day in the mountains and ate nashville hot chicken on the side of the road. It was our only vacation XD. My mom is still struggling as I would imagine. but at least she had all of us by her side.
My mother died on Christmas Day 2019. She had not been herself for a long time. Her death brought to the surface a lot of anger and resentment that my siblings have as a result of what was and wasn't done for her well being. She did not make our lives easy and it shows in the scars and wounds that surfaced as a result of her death. I have had to learn to let go of trying to make her and by extension my family happy. I can't. That is up to them.
Jon and I had a baby! Holy smokes! Talk about a milestone! The whole world has changed - I love when he smiles and coos, I spend time snuggling a baby, I make decisions differently, and my time doesn’t belong to me as much any more. I think it’s definitely changed my relationship dynamic with Jon since we can’t just do whatever we want whenever we want any more, and we have to check in with each other more. For me, personally, it’s just caused an overwhelming amount of joy.
My family has not really had a lot happen. Things have been steady and calm and I am enjoying the peace.
We overcame some intense financial burdens and household issues. This has definitely made us stronger as a family and has really shown us how we handle stress when it’s just us.
Talking to my mom about boundaries and what doesn't work for me. There is no course to teach parents how to regard you as an adult and not think that they can just tell you what to do as if you're a child. You can't just 'decide' when I'm going to cook. Let's have a conversation if you want me to do that.I was working almost 40hrs a week with a 2hr commute on 4 of those days. I'm not just hanging out at home. ALSO, it's not my top priority!
our daughter turned 30, I had her at 30, which means I am 60, 2 milestones in one year, questioning the time and where it has gone. Older people used to always say how fast goes. Never understood, and now we do!
Beth moved in! The biggest change with my family this year was that our family friend, "Aunt Beth", has moved in with the kids and I. It's temporary, but it's been really nice having her around for the kids, and for my mental health having a friend to talk to.
Well Russ getting married was a pretty big milestone. Your first child off to a family of his own. As I mentioned this feels good to me. I was a good father and raised a good son and I am happy to see him happy and with a good partner. I worry about fewer things but still worry. Not a specific milestone but an accumulation of stones over the past several years: my body is failing. I have peripheral neuropathy in my toes, onychomycosis which will not be fixed, epiretinal membrane in my left eye which decreases my vision quite a bit and will probably need surgery, arthritis in my knees, bursitis, I think, in my right shoulder, Peyronie's Disease (for which I am contemplating shots for as it is interfering with intimacy), worsening memory and recall of names. I had always felt extremely healthy, bright, strong, and not vulnerable. Now I feel much more vulnerable both physically and mentally.
My mom and dad celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary! It was amazing. It was hard not being able to be there with them due to COVID but I was able to share in the celebration a little by FaceTime It also brought regrets and resolve for my own marriage
We are supposed to be celebrating my nieces B’not mitzvot. They have been pushed off and then rescheduled. And rescheduled again. I think the fact that it has been over a year since we have seen those families is incredibly hard. I wish that my daughters and their cousins would/could talk more so as not to lose their relationship. I also value the opportunity to talk to my family when we can knowing. We don’t know when we will next be able to see each other in person.
Buying the Snoozy 2 camper has brought a great change to the way we approach leisure. We are so happy with it.
My son and daughter in law are expecting a daughter later this year, and while my husband and I are thrilled beyond words, I was also hoping that the news would facilitate some sort of movement of reconciliation between my sons. It has not and I now fear that after five years they will never again have a relationship. It's extraordinarily painful to not be able to mediate some sort of return to civility, but I will have to accept it at some point.
I answered this under Q1, my first grandchild being b orn has brought the entire family closer together
Michelle was promoted from MC to a cash captain (with a raise), then a few months later she was encouraged to apply for a supervisor position. She was promoted again, all within about 6 months. A very quick time frame for the company. With this promotion came a bigger raise. I am very proud of her, also very thankful. After losing my job, she has been paying for the all groceries and necessities. I never expected my daughter to take of us.
My oldest almost had to move out of state. Made me realize how much I enjoy being friends with my adults (they aren’t kids anymore)
We had a few major milestones with the family this year. My oldest graduated from college, my husband turned 50 and my youngest graduated from high school and then left for college. Bothe the college graduation and the 50th birthday were none events. The ceremony was canceled and no one could come over for a party. The high school graduation took place, though it was different than all others previous. It was a drive through type of ceremony for the families. The kids walked through the halls of the school and there were teachers inside wishing them well. They went through one at a time so no one was too close. The speeches were given over YouTube. There was no graduation party. They have now left for college and having a modified college experience with most classes on line. No real social events are taking place.
Over quarantine my aunt ask for as picture of my family. I responded with "me and my dog?" She said yes. I was really touched that she though of me and my dog as a family. I went out and posed for a photo of me and my dog.
I have gained the trust of a relation who seeks our help in time of crisis. It is good this person feels he/she can call on us when needed.
My dog, I live alone with my two dogs so she is family, developed mammary cancer. It has put a strain on me as I had to make hard choices and make a lot of sacrifices, but I have learned to appreciate the moment more and that if you ask, people will help.
My wife became pregnant. THat was big. Here's to hoping I make good decisions.
I came out to my parents as bisexual. I was so, so terrified to do it and one evening I plucked up the courage and I said a prayer and did it. I know I'm lucky that it didn't go as bad as I thought it could've, but, at the same time, I definitely feel more distant from them than I used to. I think for me, this has been the year when I realised that I can't be the daughter my parents want me to be and they can't be the parents I want them to be
My son got engaged and became a rabbi. I realized that he is never coming back to St. Louis and that our relationship will never be the same. This has made me very sad but at the same time I am excited for him to finally be starting his new career and becoming part of a new family.
There isn't one. That sounds like a cop-out but things with my family have been the same. I still push/argue with them on politics. I'm do detached from my extended family that anything with them doesn't seem significant.
Milestones. It's really weird to think of personal or family milestones in a year like this. Honestly, I think just surviving all of this is a milestone. I know if things get better, it will definitely be something that J and I will be "that's nothing, we've been through..." about. It was hard for me personally to work from home. I think we're growing to know each other better and I'm interested to see what happens five or ten years from now. Marriage is weird.
In any other year I guess the only thing worthy of note as a milestone would be buying a new minivan and the youngest starting middle school. In this year... major milestone would be the lockdown and the kids finishing last year and beginning this one distance learning. They youngest got cheated of a bunch of rites of passage. She missed out on being top dogs at the school, the 5th grade pool party and yearbook signing, getting contact info for elementary school friends who were headed to different middle schools. She missed out on everything she was looking forward to in middleschool. Lockers, riding the bus, gossiping with friends at lunch or in the halls between classes, singing in chorus with a bunch of people, making new friends and joining afterschool clubs, being part of the school play. It has left us all feeling ripped off. I didn't get to take part in those "farewell to elementary school" traditions with her like I did with her brother. I didn't get to say proper goodbyes to teachers and staff I have developed a relationship with over the last 9 years. My husband and I have had to dust off skills we haven't used in decades to help kids figure out lessons given online by teachers who were never trained to teach that way. We've had to figure out how to be IT staff to troubleshoot all manner of problems and learn to use platforms and systems we never used before. At times it has made all of us want to scream or cry or smash something. We don't get a break from one another now. I didn't realize how much of a mental break I got from the hours my children were away from me. They miss talking to someone other than me to share ideas, stories, etc. I find myself getting envious of my husband at times because even though his work restructured things to limit contact between coworkers he has someplace other than home to go and people other than us to see.
wisdom + survival has led me to 'living in the present moment' more and more. Reflecting on this kind of "happened this past year" requires a huge shift. (thinking...)nope. can't think of one.
not many? I guess except I leave my family for work in the States.
Moving. Again. My son moving back in with us. You have to be flexible, and carve out time for yourself. Long distance friendships via FaceTime are life savers.
I would say my nephew's birth. It has been enjoyable to see him grow and explore life, for his parents to also enjoy parenthood in these times where it's almost mandatory to stay home, and it has made me think about how we are raising kids these days, in urban spaces specially.
My father-in-law had a long hospitalization, and my mother had heart surgery. I think this has been a year of really confronting their aging and mortality, and figuring out what it means for us and our relationships.
JoAnn starting her health coach training and Kim graduating have been impactful. Erick starting a new job and me DoorDashing and Lyfting til I find what I really want to do. I have exercised more and biked better. I feel I have developed my grit and resilence as a result of these events and also have been less anxious about things in general
I'm probably missing something important, but the most resent is my Aunt dying. Although this was expected it has been effecting me more than I thought. I feel the loss of more and more of my family and the challenges of cleaning up what someone leaves behind and realizing I am coming closer and closer to the end of my own life each day. It really just spirals me into such as sad state.
Grandma turned 98 years old! We had a big party with friends and family and she even got her picture in the paper. I had a great time and as the years go on, it’s important to remember to be present and to not stay away too long; there will be a day when I can’t just pop over to see her anymore. Considering everything I put her through, her empathy, forgiveness and love is something I strive to emulate.
I graduated from school and had a big NOTHING to celebrate. The anticlimax was a crushing blow to me. It was such a huge accomplishment to me and it felt like no one cared.
My mom turned 95. We could not celebrate in person but I was able to go to see her twice so far during the pandemic. My son turned 30 but unfortunately he continues to struggle, having been laid off. But he is certainly showing fortitude and will in moving forward.
As with every year, it seems like we've had a bunch of major milestones. We keep plugging away at things and trying to be kind to one another. Our oldest is transitioning genders. That's been a struggle for the rest of the household to come to terms with and is obviously an emotional journey for our teen. It's forced us to each look at our own biases and fears. In the end, I hope our kid knows how loved they are. I think they do. Us denying their truth was pushing them into a deep depression with self harm. Our fears and worries are not as important as their safety and well being. We worry that they don't understand how much this decision will impact their entire life but I remind myself that at 17, the core of who I was is something I was aware and comfortable with. There have been many changes in my life and I like to think I've evolved, but the core of who I was, well that's still there.
It seems like an oddity, but this year, for the first time in decades, we resumed eating at the dining room table as a family like civilized human beings. It's been glorious.
Our son started college, and moved out of the house and into dorm, and pledged a fraternity, all in the midst of a COVID surge in our state. I was against his moving to campus (he could have lived at home and taken only virtual classes) and I was not at all excited about his participating in Greek life, but as soon as I was able to let go of my deep worry about his health and listen to his explanation of his need for independence, I felt better and really proud of the adult he is becoming. I think our relationship has improved after weathering this rough spot.
My son finished school and moved back to Lithuania. Got a job. I am very happy for him. Finally he started learning... life :) I quit my job. My partner lost his job. We both are jobless now. Hopefully it's for a better change.
The passing of my father has had a profound affect on my family, but I suppose the major milestone for my family was the sale of the family home. My mother had already been living with my grandparents because she was uncomfortable in that large house by herself, but after my grandparents house was abandoned due to bed bugs, and my Zayde passed just after, her home life got complicated. My grandmother was living happily at the assisted living facility, and for a time they allowed my mom to stay with her in her room. But then my mom suffered a stroke and lost her ability to walk on her own. The house had to be sold. It had become an albatross around the family's neck, and my mother didn't get near the asking price she wanted, but at this point it doesn't really matter. Getting rid of the house was bittersweet, as I had a lot of nostalgia for that house. It had fallen into disrepair, however, and the mortgage my mother was paying was just a waste of money. In some way, this officially changed my sense of where "home" was. Now home is where MY family is, namely where my partner, my child (soon to be children), and my pet. In some ways this has caused distancing between me and my siblings and surviving parents and grandparents. But it also pushes me closer to those who are around me, which includes Drea's parents.
My parents turned 80 this year. I'm even more aware of their mortality and making their golden years happy, especially as so many elderly lives have been taken by COVID-19.
My sister had another child, but we don't talk so it hasn't had much of an impact on my life.
I turned 80! Pretty amazing that I made it this far, but now that I have I naturally want to keep going for as long as possible. Occasionally I will think about the diminishing number of years remaining for our travel experiences, but then since there’s not much I can do about it I try to move on and focus on other things.
We bought a house and moved. I applied for disability, and had that approved.
Grandpi died, and honestly it didn't affect me that much. Maybe it means I'm selfish, maybe it means I bottle up my pain, but I cried one night, mourned three days, and did some other stuff but all in a very short timespan. Maybe I do need a little but more respect for the dead.
We finally moved. Not sure yet how this will turn out. Oh! And the dog exists in our lives now! I leave my partner alone more and hyperfocus on the dog instead.
Bat Mitzvah (youngest child) -- proud of her continued Jewish studies (particularly that she elected to continue in a Talmud program this fall) and that she participated in the service despite her disappointment and the changes due to the pandemic ("read Torah" from home). High school graduation, driver's license, first job (middle child) -- I am proud of her growing up into a thoughtful and capable adult, also really scared about her driving! I have a lot of empathy for my parents when I first started driving.
My mother turned ninety-seven. I turned sixty-nine. Karen, my ex turned sixty-two. Two years before, after we had broken up and gone through painful, unsuccessful therapy, she invited me to her sixtieth. I didn't go. Anyway, the numbers kept adding up. Everybody is facing in the same direction on a conveyer belt to ... oblivion. How did I feel about that? Afraid, unprepared and lonely. Summer is on the way but it feels like Winter.
Max graduated, marking the last of the children to finish college. We no longer have the expenses of sending kids to college. I have a sense of completion, of success, of satisfaction. We did what so many families struggle with.
OK - excepting the obvious, which is COVID and the fact that the Maryland move was just barely technically over a year ago - I'd say maybe the move from the rental house to the purchased house? It certainly didn't affect me as much as the move from IL to MD, which isn't a big surprise. And it was definitely an improvement over the rental, both in physical attributes and in the fact that we own it and can change things. But I also find myself not caring so much about it, probably in part because of everything else going on. And also because it's just such a bummer of a house, even though it's the best we can do here. It's LOUD. And not very functional. And I wouldn't really be sad to leave it and move across the neighborhood if something better became available.
The first major milestone was the loss of my dad. I think its weird how much life appears to be moving on without him. Despite how crazy his and my mom's relationship was, she seems to really miss him. But then all of the things she inherited because of him are crumbling around her, so its weird... like a curse or something. The second thing was that my brother started dating a Chinese woman over the internet, then moved to Serbia to try and live with her, despite it being Coronavirus outside. I hope he is safe and happy, but the tale gets stranger everytime I think about it. I mean he went from never having a girlfriend to married and living with someone in a mutually unfamiliar country!
There haven't really been any major milestones in all honesty. My sister started grad school this year which I'm excited for her, and proud. She's smart and passionate. We're both driven but in different ways and by different motivations. It's always interesting seeing how she grows and the differences and similarities between us. I'm grateful every day that our family is healthy and hasn't been affected by Covid.
It's hard to think of a "milestone" per se. Dot started and finished kindergarten, but it felt in no way like a standard accomplishment. Frank's career continues to progress and grow in new directions. (His research was cited by a US Senator! He was interviewed by the NYT!) Iris is no longer a baby but a full toddler. I'm the same. Sometimes I feel as if the whole house is evolving while I stay the same.
My daughter graduated from preschool and started kindergarten at the local public school. I've been somewhat disillusioned by the whole event since it has been in concurrence with the distance learning model in response to the pandemic and county outbreak. The only reality that sank in was hearing her teacher take attendence on the first day via the iPad students were provided for at home use.
The biggest milestone I can think of is my sister in law Shannon announcing she and my brother were expecting a baby together! They scheduled a FaceTime call, which they never do, so I already guessed that they would be announcing a pregnancy. They sent me a video with my head on an ant's body (since I'm going to be an "AUNT", and they are both really cheesy haha). I was so so so excited for them! They've been married for two years and I am thrilled for them. I can't wait to spoil my nephew! I guess since I'm 35 and single, I've had people ask me how it made me feel. I don't have anyone in my life with whom I'd have a baby, and I don't want to have a baby alone, so for me, I'm happy for them. I also felt a bit sad about how far away I am going to be from them, but also so happy for my mom who has been wanting to be a grandmother for years!
We became parents. This has of course changed everything for us. It showed us how to love deeper, how to work harder, how to partner more closely as a couple, and how tired one could be. The best part is that this helped us find the silver lining from COVID which was of course time together at home as a family.
The major milestone in our family’s life is Daniel’s successful first year at UC Davis. We feel proud of his achievements and hope he can continue to succeed at UC Davis.
Even though I had a really fun 50th birthday party and we were able to travel to Mexico just before Covid hit, Covid has to be the big milestone of the year since everything changed. No Senior prom or graduation, no 8th grade graduation, and everyone working from home. It has made me appreciate the neighborhood, our walk, and our Jewish community that has really kept us connected in unexpected virtual ways. I hope we are more connected as a family at home, but I'm not sure as teenagers are on their devices so much (as are we all).
Renee and I celebrated our fourth anniversary with a beach getaway, and this was the first year I didn't feel the day was completely overshadowed by my thoughts of Kyle, so that was a milestone. He is gone four years now. Maggie has not been allowed to see or speak to anyone in her father's family for a year and seven months. The families in Australia reached out and got in touch via letters and (for the twins) video chats. Sadly, this year Jamie also stopped speaking to me, which is very sad. I have been reading lots of books on Borderline Personality Disorder to help me understand her pain and behaviors. Steph and I became pen-pals.
Again the pandemic. I miss the breakfast get together with my sibs. Life doesn't seem as colorful anymore. I feel like we are all in a state of suspended animation. Moving around in our own bubbles and waiting, without thinking too much about it, for the day we can hug and kiss again. I miss my family and friends......
Within a week, we lost our family matriarch and gained a new grandson. I was with my mom as she passed from this life on a Monday and with my daughter on Friday as she brought in our newest (at the time) family member. It's a surreal experience and hard to describe. Nothing prepares you for either event and you quickly realize just how little control you actually have in this life. I have always been an in this moment person - I have always realized the future is not promised and the past is not changeable. But having so much change in one short 5 day span is surreal. I feel my new grandson is deeply connected to my mom and she will be with us always through him, her 5 (so far) great grandchildren and her 11 grandchildren - especially the grandchildren whom she helped raise.
Last year we were on an 18hr flight back to the States in the middle of Rosh Hashanah and my husband's birthday. It has made all the difference in the world for our collective mental health (even the cats). I still get teary thinking about it. COVID has also brought us closer together.
My son turned 2 and my daughter was born. I still can barely believe that I am the mother of 2 children. That they are mine and came out of my body. I spent so many years wanting to be a mother and now that it's happened I do find it immensely fulfilling. Not easy and sometimes I fantasize about life before children, but overall they give me such a sense of purpose, motivate me, and give me so much joy. I am very fulfilled by loving them so much. Everyone wants to be loved, but we undervalue the joy of LOVING others. In addition to children, my husband and I have been together for over 6 years now. That's also strange to me, a significant other, something I also wanted for so long and now I have it. And it's wonderful. I was right. A husband and children have made me very happy.
Our eldest son had a baby boy. It was the most wonderful feeling to be a grandmother. To share in the potential of this new life and yet not be responsible is liberating.I find that I love him deeply and want to nurture him but I also know I am not hisparent so none of the associated anxieties assail me.
I have become more aware of the unhealthy dynamics that are deeply rooted within my family. I am trying to figure out how to have a relationship with people while still maintaining my own boundaries and emotional health.
Baby Ben joined our family! It has affected all aspects of our life - we have moved out of our apartment, Megan has left her job, we moved in with our parents, we don't live in NYC anymore. It's been wonderful and hard to have a new baby but we're doing a good job.
The major milestone happened with my family this year was twofold. One, my marriage after a relatively short dating and engagement. The second major milestone was the death of my last grandparent. The death of my grandmother was bittersweet. She had decided she was done nine months before and I was very blessed to have a good relationship with her for a long time. She lived a life worth celebrating. It was inspiring to push me forward.
We had a baby! This has changed everything. She makes me want to be more accountable - clean up my language, eat snacks sitting down and at the table, eat healthier, get enough sleep so I can be a patient parent. It's also making me feel more bold about asserting my Jewish identity, although because of the pandemic we've never had to negotiate anything with our families since we haven't traveled to visit since she was born.
Mom dying. I don't know that I have fully processed the grief. We haven't been able to have a memorial because of covid which I think has made closure a little difficult. Adam moving in is another big change. Letting someone in in a big way is huge and I'm feeling good about it.
So many things have happened within my family: our 7th grandchild was born in December and our 8th was born days ago; Peter’s son Mike was married to Amanda and my son Dan married Tina. My ex-husband underwent two serious spinal surgeries and was diagnosed with probable MLS. The babies and weddings were so exciting, especially for me because it is my son’s first (and only, I hope) marriage and I love his choice of bride, and because my brand new grandbaby is the first I will know from inception. My ex-husband’s diagnosis and surgeries are sobering: I’m sure he will die before me and our son will be profoundly affected by his declining health and death.
The childhood home was officially sold and new homes were found. It hasn't affected me as much as I thought I would. It took a few weeks to remember to head west after work to the new place than to head east. But I don't find myself missing the old place as much as I thought I would. I'm still giddy about my new neighborhood, where I have wanted to live since college, but never could find a place that I could afford.
Not to beat a dead horse - but hey, I DID have my first child this year so that's sort of a big deal. Growing our family has, of course, changed every single thing that matters - and all for the better. I am working part-time now so I can spend more time with Louise, we are looking to invest in a house, and we are even trying to get pregnant AGAIN to give her the best gift of all - a sibling. Speaking of siblings, my brother turned 40 this year, which was a huge milestone for him, though the celebrations have been tarnished by COVID restrictions. I hope he looks back on the first 40 with pride and admiration, because he's led an impressive life thus far.
My sister and BIL are getting a divorce. Finally! I'm frustrated that it took so long for my sister to accept how dysfunctional her life with her husband has been. I'm happy she finally sees the situation for what it is and is happy to get out. They are still in the midst of it and I hope they actually finish it and finalize the divorce.
My mother had a milestone birthday. It helped strengthen our bond as we had several celebrations.
Mom was diagnosed with MSA in December. We are still hoping the doctor is wrong, that she will get better, that she will be able to walk again with ease, that her blood pressure will stop being so low, that things will get better, not worse. Whatever happens, I can say that one thing that came out of this is my siblings came together. Joey and Stephanie moved upstairs from our parents so they can be closer to help. I call home more - I've talked to my mom almost every single day this year. Far cry from 2016 when I didn't talk to my dad for about 9 months after the election. I visit home more. I'm not at AF anymore so I have weekends (at CBE, I basically have 3 days weekends so I have a lot more time.) I try not to take the good days for granted. When she answers the phone sounding happy, sounding okay, sounding like she has energy, like herself, I smile and breathe a sigh of gratitude.
My mom died in June 2019 in Florida. She was cremated and we were going to have a burial service this summer in her hometown in Southern Illinois. Due to the pandemic, we had to postpone for another year. I was sad that I couldn't have this closure and time with my siblings, but hopefully we'll be able to celebrate my mom's life and love for family next summer.
Ryan and I had to go three months/thirteen weeks without seeing each other because of COVID. This was certainly the longest we'd been apart since we got together, and it was hard. I think it made me realize I'm growing impatient with this long-distance relationship, and feel invested in moving forward a bit quicker toward being in the same place.
My niece went off to college, and that's a pretty big milestone, but the biggest milestone of all is my husband and I moving out of California to Michigan. It's scary & big, and I also think it's going to be a lot of fun. We hadn't seen his family in Michigan at all this year until we went to go see our new house. Crazy!
Simone was always a smiley baby and she has grown into such a delight as a toddler. So sweet, funny and smart. Mom absolutely loves her and the two girls are enormously funny together. These days, Simone likes to imitate whatever Eleanor does. She understands so much of what we say and she knows her colors and names of lots of things. When we Facetime we play a game where we both cock our heads in the same direction -- once she even did it when we just did a regular voice call. It cracks Sarah up. I hope I'll be able to see her again soon while she's still this lovely age.
This past year started with the fact that my brother-in-law has inoperable and incurable cancer. He was given one month to live and has survived the year by being part of a drug trial. In November my husband became very ill with swelling in his extremities and since then we have been in the hospital four times for two surgeries, and complications from edema. I had just started thinking about retirement--a few more years and the two of us would be able to enjoy what time we had left, rowing on Lake Ozette and other bodies of water, shore camping, and traveling. My sister and I are both faced with losing our partners too soon. Since then everything has come to a stand still. It is a limbo existence I live governed by waiting and uncertainty. I find myself sitting quietly in a non-thinking, reflective state--I have spent the summer sitting outdoors under the kiwi with shade on my head, my feet in the sun. Quiet and stillness. In this state I became aware of associating breezes and wind with my father. The day he was buried, a great wind blew up. The windsock we bought him, shaped like a fish for his pisces birth, was swept off the pole and blown high up into the sky, never to be seen again. Just sitting, hearing the leaves and branches susurrate, with my dad the wind and birds in the bath, has sustained me. To overcome the profound inertia that has overtaken me--I distract myself with things needing to be done-moving from one task to another, away from my emotions, from tears which have gone underground. Putting laundry in, taking laundry out, ironing, dish washing, cooking, shopping, sorting, cleaning, sweeping, watering the plants, filling the bird baths, writing a letter or two....moves me through this limbo that has engulfed us.
My immediate family includes friends and myself. Milestones this year include getting more comfortable on my surf ski and finding more time to paddle
My sister was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer a month after she left her abusive husband. And my mom wound up in the hospital for a month and had a near-death experience. Emotionally, we've all been traumatized. Physically, this is all taking a huge and heavy toll on my dad, the sole caretaker, as I am on the other side of the country from them and everyone has agreed that I shouldn't get on a plane to see them just yet. My dad acts like it's no big deal, but if he had any problem right now, the whole family would collapse. I feel helpless and useless to them. We talk/text/video chat constantly, but I still feel useless.
Im not sure that it is a major milestone but my family is much closer than it used to be. After my wife passed three years ago, I am much closer with my son and daughter than ever before. They are also much closer.
My daughter going to Middle School. I'm getting older, my daughter is getting older ... She's learning to adapt to a new place under new circumstances, and I'm proud of her!
My child got their learner's permit after taking a AAA online driving class. I am so proud that they are motivated to learn. They saw their friend driving and suddenly wanted to. To take them out in the car to practice is a true rite of passage. I feel fearful and excited for them. I'm proud they are gaining more confidence, and are a step closer to gaining their independence as an adult. I am trying not to think about the day they will be out of the house and living their own life. They are quite introverted and do not share much with me, so I hope when they are on their own we may share more, since we'll have news to catch each other up on that we don't now since living together.
My husband Rays passing. It has been the center of my life in that I have attended bereavement groups, taken personal growth courses and realized that I am not sure I know who I am. Having been together for 60 years, I realized I am now on my own for the first time in my life. It's not about doing or managing things on my own, it's the "being" on my own. And at times I truly enjoy being on my own.
My dad and stepmom celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary. It brought up a lot of challenging feelings because of the estrangement between my dad and my sister, the complicated feelings I have towards my stepmother and my parent's divorce, and my discomfort at how they chose to celebrate it. I was still able to participate in their (online) gathering and give a nice toast in spite of those things, which definitely felt like the right thing to do, even though it was uncomfortable.
My daughter has our first grand daughter Make me appreciate her more and wven more rpoid of my kids
See my previous answer regarding the Kentucky exhibition of my work, too, but having three generations there to be part of the install and opening was really meaningful. Especially now that we can't really get together as we once did, and no one is getting any younger.
Sometimes things that pop in front of you are, at first, not recognizable as milestones or major events. However, I am feeling that Cody meeting Emily is probably one of those. Emily is quite a person. I have rarely met someone as sincere, humble and generous as she is frank, intelligent and talented. I should toss beauty in there too! It probably does not affect me in any markedly way, but it certainly is something that allows Jian and I to rest assured and know that Cody has made a good choice for a life long partner. All too often, it's the things you don't experience or see that are the best and most fortunate. ie separation, bad career choice, etc. Yeah for those two!
We transitioned from being a married couple to separating recently. I moved into my own room and shared the news of the upcoming divorce with the people in my life. It's been an empowering but also daunting and exhausting experience.
My family holds a reunion every June; especially now that mom and dad are gone, we've all agreed that it's more important than ever to try and make time to see each other, spend time with each other, and just relax in the woods for a week. Unfortunately, we had to cancel this year, for obvious reasons. I had not realized how much I was looking forward to it until we couldn't go, and how much I missed especially all of the niblings and getting to see and interact with them.
We bought a house in Hawaii! It was stressful - it showed some of the seams of our relationship, but we are working on it and I feel closer to my wife than ever.
Other than COVID-19, there have been two milestones. 1) The last of our children moved out of our house. We've had at least one of them living with us from 1988-2020, 32 years in total. 2) My parents have severely declined in terms of cognitive and physical ability, and I have had to step in and take care of a lot of their needs. For the first one, it was weird and sad at first. But, after a month, things seemed like my wife and I had always had the house to ourselves. Of course, suddenly having her start working from home, and me losing my job made things strange by being together pretty much 24/7. But, we have adjusted and we actually keep in touch with our kids more often now than we did before the lock down. For the second one, as I told myself this morning, "If I had ever asked God to teach me patience, I take it back". My parents are basically kindergartners who forget everything they're told, lose things constantly, and refuse to learn anything new. I am always stressed, exhausted and worried about the future.
I'm not sure we had a major milestone as I used to define milestones. I think that surviving our phases of COVID quarantine - being together with another family, being just the four of us, one kid home and then two kids at care felt like a milestone as we transitioned from each phase to the next. It made me feel like we could overcome a lot more than I thought and that I could take it one step at a time, even when I was riding the waves of sadness that happened each week to 10 days.
Max has left for college. :( Max is starting college! :) I miss him terribly and I get more excited as time goes on (3 days gone now) for all the Firsts he has ahead of him.
Another new school for my grandson. He can stay at this one until he finishes school. Changes for everyone but me- wondering if I should move again, do something to gain an income like tutoring- feel I'm left behind, like the old woman in the snow. This culture does not seem to give any value to age- women become invisible after the age of 50. I don't give myself any value, either.
They tell you that the birth of a child will change you forever and you will find new and previously unknown parts of yourself, that you will find a new normal, and that you will sleep again. All this is true, although I know the sleep and normal is coming. The one thing I thought I knew but had never experienced to the extent I have because of the birth of my son: JOY!
My grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer. This increases my obligation to visit more frequently -- a three-hour drive, with rentals hard to come by because people are avoiding trains and buses. It also has emphasized for me and my cousins how we can't count on our moms to deliver accurate and comprehensive information. I initially thought my grandfather's illness was going to have our generation truly becoming the generation that gets things done and takes the lead in the family. My parents' generation moved into that role in their mid 30s; my cousins and brother and I are now late 30s and 40s. But I feel like we've actually been sidelined by our elders. I feel like a couple of us are not temperamentally inclined to take the reins without being invited to. I'm willing, but my parents have decided they simply own the messaging and I'm not close enough geographically to influence things otherwise.
My mom became a lawyer. It was amazing, I felt it gave her a sense of entitlement. You now like, everyone has that thing that they say when asked who you are.
After years apart, my entire family now gather in our house. All my siblings and I with my parents now stay under the same roof during the pandemic. Well, I enjoy time shared with them after years apart. But I also wish we could travel more instead of staying at home.
The first I think of is grandson Harry graduating from high school and matriculating to Boston University in the middle of the city of Boston. This has happened, which reminds me of saying goodbye to his Dad, my son, Sid…a day of pride and gratitude and simultaneously a day of grief…his childhood is over, and he’s taking his own life in hand as an adult. I think this has been doubly difficult 1. Because he is so beloved and 2. Because of fears about the COVID-19 pandemic and concern about him being on campus and away from home. As I write this, I’m acutely aware of how in recent days I have felt depressed – partly due to the physical things I’m dealing with which are not life-threatening, but have played on my mind and made me feel like I’m dying or that I’m depressed and have reduced energy. And maybe part of this is the reality of Harry being gone.
For about 8 years now, we’ve been looking forward to 2020 as the one year that our children, 3 years apart in age, would be going to the same school together after elementary school/middle school separated them. Our 8th grader is now a Freshman, and our oldest is now a Senior at the same High School. Unfortunately, their shared experience is taking online classes across the hall from each other, due to COVID-19. We are proud of the academic excellence that both kids have worked hard to achieve, and we are also disappointed that we had an expectation which will never be fully realized.
My grandfather passed away this summer. My fathers father has always been part of my life. He has had our family over for holidays, shabbat etc even in the absence of my father. I would not say I have the fondest memories of him. We have differing political views and he always seemed to have more interest in my sisters life than mine. I will say, I will miss his hugs. He was a big fat man and hugging him felt like hugging a teddy bear. You could tell he was not used to getting the kind of affection my sister and I gave him. He appreciated each one of those hugs and I will miss him in a unique way. I now have no more grandparents and find it so important to pass their stories down through cooking, holidays and stories. I will continue to share their memory and keep them alive through my life.
I am having trouble coming up with a milestone. I did buy a house for the first time in my life this past April. I went in on it with my best friend. It's a little stressful being a homeowner during these "times" . Mainly because I feel if I were to lose my job It would be very difficult to find another that paid as well or had as decent benefits that I currently enjoy.
My uncle passed away in January. Being the only boy of 5 kids, somewhat "the patriarch" of the family, it impacted the entire family. Each of us was impacted differently, I suppose. The relationships that he had with individuals were so crazily varied. He was not an easy person. But he was important to all of us. I'm not sure that I can explain why. I'm not sure that I even understand why. But he was. His passing left a hole. And it left so many issues unresolved.
My children all left home. Again. I am relieved and lonely for them, all at once.
In addition to buying a home and a new car (2019 woot woot!), Leia joined our family! We have a running joke about spending $200k on a dog and getting a free house. Leia has been an absolute joy, even with the tough beginnings of non-stop diarrhea, lunging at dogs, unfriendly with other humans and going through a 2-month long heart worm treatment. She's come a long way, especially now with her training with TipTop K9. She has been a great car camping dog and continues to be so loving and affectionate. I'm so grateful to have her in our lives.
Mom finally died on July 28, the Matthew and Renata got married. There is both grief and relief. Her body had been kept alive long after her mind had left. I had been angry for a long time. Was moved and proud of our family when we got together for the Zoom memorial the day after her burial.
We had a child. I think the biggest affect was that it made us modify the way we communicate with each other - whether it's in whispers or gestures because we had a newborn sleeping, or just spending quality time, everything had to shift. I think it helped us grow together as a result. I know it's helped me become more thoughtful on what my gestures/words mean and what is a necessary communication.
Out of Kingston Feel like I’m coming home to myself
I think not being able to see my family has been a major milestone. Since living overseas, this is the longest that I have gone without seeing them. I don't know the next time that I will be able to safely see them.
My niece and baby moved back to Nevada just before the covid restrictions. We had been connecting with dinner routinely. I miss this in person visit. It is clear that it has been for the best for multiple reasons; her family unit, the decline of Chuck's level of mobility and alertness and probably her career. I am proud of her and she stays in touch
My niece gave birth to a daughter. I have six grandchildren. One of my brothers has five. This darling Carmela is the first grandchild of my other brother. I’ve watched him bloom with happiness – regularly posting pictures on Facebook that he never much used before, glowing in each one. He’s experienced a lot of pain over the past few years within his personal and professional life so this has been a wonderful breakthrough. We’ve experienced a lot of family crisis (death, illness – physical and mental, challenges). Each take their psychic toll. So, celebrating these moments of joy have become all the more important. My intention is to focus on and celebrate every small good thing that happens. And, turn my saying, “each day is a gift” into a true practice of appreciation.
Genuinely, we're just learning how to expand.
Por supuesto, llegué a unirme con mi novia, luego de formalizar nuestra relación. Y, con la noticia de que vamos a ser padres, pues... la felicidad se acrecentó.
Well my Dad got married and didn't invite any of us. He told us on Facebook Messenger. All three of us together. None of us knew what to say back. Honestly the whole Dad turning into a selfish person who mimics his bigoted wife thing has fucked me up. I haven't yet unpacked all the ways yet. But I know I am profoundly affected because I think about it nearly every week and haven't seen him in a few years.
My dad who has been our family rock has become more vulnerable. We as a family have had to come to grips with him needing our support instead of the other way around.
Covid was a pretty big milestone. Between job loss and quarantine we all became more connected, which I love and am so thankful for. However, it’s time to get back to living and life and jobs and economy.
Francisco’s passing was by far the greatest loss we’ve had. The kids lost their first grandparent after watching his health demise slowly between his hospitalization in October 2019 and when he passed in his nursing home prior to his 86th birthday. It was difficult for all of us and especially Tila to watch us health decline. His nursing home had the highest incidents of CV-19 in NYC and was featured in the NYTimes. We have no evidence he died of Covid, but he did rapidly decline over a two day period. I’m proud that we processed in real time as a family. It brought us closer together and the outpouring of support to us was heartfelt and meaningful. I feel so grateful that we were help by our community and could have physical proximity since this was pre lockdown. Things certainly do unfold as they were meant to.
Kelly became pregnant. What is more interesting is Eric's naming the baby after me (second name), his worry about us. the kids helping us meet our financial needs.
Oh!! The major milestone was about my wife getting a job. That is great -- yet, it forced me to rethink my schedule. That was very overwhelming at the beginning of 2020.
We moved!!!! I was happy in the old neighborhood but love it here too. Jess claims she likes it better here, but she still hides in the house for the most part. The extra space has been incredible! I'd always thought I could survive very simply. But this has been a HUGE improvement on our lives! We can unclutter our stuff, we can organize and find our stuff, we can get away from each other. I think I was missing a "man cave" and I've never had an office separate from my room. This feels much better to me. The garage, too, has destressed so much for me and for us. Life just feels easier with this setup. We've begun the fertility process, which is a big step in our non-committal lives!
My mom turned 70 and officially retired. I'm both excited for her achievement and terrified that this means really acknowledging her age and eventual mortality.
My youngest sibling, my brother, retired this year and is relocating back home from San Francisco. He’s now Mom’s caretaker full time, no longer flying back and forth, struggling to arrange his schedule to give him blocks of time to be here. He’s gradually making our home place his own. This brings us closer to each other and back to our roots, bridging our 12-year age difference. I am now a cherished big sister, his go-to for reflection, a substitute when Mom, nearly 94, is no longer with us.
"The doctor gave me weed pills to help with my asthma." "No, Mom, you have anxiety." Reframing most of my mother's panic and neuroses as undiagnosed anxiety has been enormously helpful in figuring out how to tackle my own.
My father's 80th birthday. He is a pillar of health, humor, and enjoyment of life as the years go by. I wish to attain such zest into my 80s.
My father celebrated his birthday in Germany for the first time since he emigrated to Canada in 1953. As he turned 92, I had to provide a lot of care and planning to make the trip happen. It was also the first time he had flown on a plane in 35 years. I felt proud and like I had fulfilled a certain sense of filial piety.
We hit peak family in 2018-9, between my parents' 60th anniversary, my nephew's wedding, my other nephew's bar mitzvah, our 25th anniversary and the family trip to Holland. So thank God for that! Because everything since February has been virtual.
I got pregnant this year for the first time. Aside from the changes with my husband and I, it has changed relationships in my family. It’s brought me closer to my mum, who has been an incredible support to me, even though we’re living in different countries and haven’t been able to see each other. And my dad has shown love for the first time ever in my entire life. He’s shown himself to be Genuinely excited by the prospect of being a grandfather and has been kinder to me than I ever thought possible. We’ve had such a difficult and painful relationship over the years, and things have been getting better (thanks to a lot of therapy on my side) but he’s been a proper dad this year and it’s been really lovely. I just hope it can last, and that he’s a kind and loving grandfather to the baby
Impossible to answer this question any differently than #1 -- the death of my wife. The change from “married” to “widowed.” If I look at this separate from the experience of grief, it challenges me to confront and identify what I want to make of my life moving forward. To identify my own desire. There is no other desire that I live with any more. No one to say, “Hey, let’s go to Europe. Let’s go shopping. Let’s go out to eat. Let’s watch the ball game. Let’s retire to the coast in North Carolina.”
It’s my 5th wedding anniversary in December. Still love her.
I am not sure we have had any milestones. This has given me the time to just think
My daughter Candice married Will Clark in February. I was able to attend the wedding in Florida, a very special time, and to extend my visit past the event and spend some time with the happy couple. It is wonderful to be in their company and to witness their bond.
My grandfather died from COVID in April 2020. We were only locked down for 2 weeks when he died - I've had to see my father mourn without being able to mourn. I've seen my 14yo get super mad at the world for taking away her great grandfather. For me, it's the fact that when I hear people say this crisis isn't real, I can't abide by that because it is very real and a very real person is no longer here.
I got married, so merging my nuclear family and my husband's was an experience. I'm very thankful for my family, who I now know have my back no questions asked. My mother's oldest sister also died last year, which brought up the fact that my parents are getting close to the end of their lives. It's very scary to think about, but I want them to live life as fully as they can before the end.
My baby boy is in kindergarten now. I agree for the milestone not being recognized in a traditional way, but I also know how very very lucky we are to be in such a great school system where my son already had a wonderful preparation, and is doing well learning virtually. it's not what I would have wanted for him, but I'm so grateful for it.
Love our puppy. He's a pain in the tuchus but so cute.
O. started his torah portion for his upcoming Bar Mitzvah. I wouldn't consider it such a milestone but with covid it's been a completely different experaince. So has "planning" the Bar Mitzvah. What was going to be a year of party planning and worship has been a year of reflecting on our values. It's been a struggle at times. I think I was holding on to an expectation of what this time would be like. I've had to grieve the loss but also accepted that what I wanted for him is probably not as fitting as what we're going to do now. O. is officially my height. It seems so small but It's made me reflect on his childhood. I'm also a little worried about how he'll see me going forward. I've never parented a person taller then me. I can't explain why that worries me so much. Probably something to do with the amount of respect I lost for my own mother when I was hitting the same milestone... Jess and the kids moved out for the second time. There was a lot of mixed feelings. I don't think she'll go back to her abusive ex. which is a HUGE step forward for her. I'm proud of her and my family. Proud of myself for helping her transition away from that relationship. It's not easy and she had a high chance of going back. I feel like we made a difference in her life. I just wish i know it was enough of a difference. She's with a new guy and pregnant again. We only broke a part of the cycle not the whole thing. And the amount of disappointment can be unbearable when I see her now.
All of the "major milestones" in our families over the past year were mentioned through text messages, even before the pandemic. Changes in jobs (which we found out well after the fact), travels to out of state for a birth on the West Coast (we did not find out what the new boy or girl baby's name is), and a sister-in-law's having to postpone her two-week riverboat excursion in Europe to another year. Broken promises all around, followed by isolation. Which is not all bad, but it does feel as though we no longer have access to family groups.
Both my parents have had a couple of health scares this year. They're both ok and now are being monitored and are proactive about these issues, so there's not much to worry about for the time being. However, it was a huge wake up call to their mortality and how little time I may end up having with them on earth. They're in their early 60's, but it's quite possible that in fifteen years, they will no longer be my parents from a mental standpoint, and that frightens me to tears. I'm an adult; I don't need them to survive, but I need them for their strength and wisdom. They're my best friends, my foundation, and I'm afraid that if I don't have a family established before they reach that point, I'll be completely alone in the world. My other fear is that I'll have a young family at that point, and that I won't be able to care for both them and my family, financially or emotionally. I don't know what to do with this fear and it plagues me constantly, but at least I try to enjoy my company with them as much as possible. I'm trying to commit to record my good memories I have with them, because my other fear that's even greater than their illness or death, is the fear that I'll lose my memories of them.
The start of kindergarten, or real school, was a big one but one that felt very strange and anticlimactic. Virtual school isn't what we'd pictured but we're making it work.
1. Death of my brother. It left me with a void in my daily life. It made me once again recognize the fragility of life and how much I appreciate what I have. 2. The Pandemic. It scares the dickens out of me, but there is no value in having that fear. It just means the job of cheerleader is even more important. 3. Francoise mother died, changing the dynamic of her family. Because we are in CA and everyone else is in France, there was not a chance for her to mourn with her siblings. These and more make one double down on the reasons to be with loved ones and stay positive.
Well, there's the obvious "I moved home" that I answered pretty much in the supplemental question below -- I am physically closer which is also emotional, and there are also some newer anxieties around Covid and keeping everyone healthy. I'm not sure there's any other real milestone. Ima turned 60, Aunt Judy passed away, and I started going through family pictures as a result of Ima's gift for her and Abba's 37th anniversary.
Papa and I have gotten closer, and that feels really good. I have gotten a lot better at setting boundaries with Mama, and not having my feelings so enmeshed with hers. I'm creating an independent relationship with Mama Elly. This year I really felt like an adult in my home for the first time and that was really good.
My 24 year old nephew moved out of my sister's house to live with a friend in another state. He is my sister's first child from her first marriage. His father cheated on her while she was pregnant, and he had a son from a previous failed relationship. My nephew's father pretty much abandoned him, except for a few heart breaking visits while he was a child. When my nephew spent time with his father, his father would leave him with his girlfriend or park him in front of the television while he either left to do something else or while he took a nap during the visitation time. My nephew has been deeply scarred and made the decision in his late teens that he did not want to be in contact with his father anymore. My sister remarried while my nephew was around eight or nine years old, and his stepfather was cold and critical of him. She divorced him after having two girls, when my nephew was thirteen or so. The only stable force in his life besides my sister has been his grandparents and his younger sisters. He became the type of person that spent most of his time playing video games in his room and over the years has become obese. My family has always supported his pursuit of art and encouraged his education, but he has always had a hard time following through. It seemed like he might forever stay home, with no ambition or future of his own. His decision to leave the house was a big deal for him and for our family. My sister was very happy about it, knowing that he needs to find himself, but of course, she was also sad that he would be living so far away. My mother was extremely sad and concerned for his safety, and it reminded her how much she really loves and appreciates her grandson. It opened up a dialogue between him and I, since I was a late bloomer and a creative person as well. That is very special to me, because I spent a lot of time with him when he was young, but we drifted apart as he got older. I think it has opened up a lot of things for our family, and it is yet another reminder of how lucky I am to have my family. We are always there for each other.
The death of my dad. I had a very strong relationship with my dad a nd now there are time I will do or think of something and it dawns on me that my thought process is the same as my dad's. I also have always, always been close to my siblings but after dad's death has taken on even a great er level of appreciation than before.
ilana turned 10 my mom had emergency surgery glenn & kelly had a baby dolores and eliot's dog died, then they got a new one my mom's 80th surprise birthday brought the family together for the last time this year! my moms 80th & ilana's 10th were really joyful - the rest it was such a feeling of disconnected because we were all seperate
Ali going to college. It officially made us more kids away than home. I miss our girls even though our time together during Covid was overwhelming at times but I am so proud of what they are doing, experiencing and accomplishing
My Dad passed away. I am devastated and so sad. I'm glad we were able to get married last minute and he could walk me down the aisle.
I started a new job that isn't part of the Jewish education world. It is a significant change for me, because working in Jewish education was so abusive for so long, but once I got out, it was like a light switch. Suddenly I could see the abuse and the dysfunction objectively. I'm sad for the years I spent allowing myself to be devalued and my worth to be questioned again and again. I'm deeply grateful for the work I'm doing now for a community that embraces me and lifts me up.
A major milestone for my partner and I was getting our mortgage pre-approval letter. It made the possibility of buying a home together much more real.
Being able to look forward to a time when we are not the only ones responsible for the care and maintenance of our home. Looking forward to being able to travel ( whenever that may be) without concerns.
My dad's health is really taking a nosedive. He has myriad health problems, macular degeneration, a body that has been used and abused by drugs, alcohol, hard living, Agent Orange, and PTSD. Most people in his condition would be in some kind of palliative care and maybe hospice, but he won't do it. I think he's going to die soon and I'm not as sad as I should be, and I'm WAY more stressed than I should be. I also feel a little angry with him for acting like such a toddler about his estate (i.e. his half of the family property that he and my mom co-own even though they are divorced) and my eldest sister, who lives in his town, is acting like an only slightly older toddler in attempting to be his power of attorney. It's like my anxiety is stomping all over my ability to feel for my dad, and that is sad.
Zach moved to Portland. He has launched. It's wonderful to see. Rod and I are again empty nesters. And honestly having the freedom to have sex whenever we want was the best part. I miss not having Zach here to help with the cooking! But I don't miss watching up close and personal him trying to figure out life. It's easier to check in once a week or so. It's a good thing he has moved and we are happy for him.
My cousin who I have not communicated with in probably 30 years opened the channels of communication with me. It has warmed my heart and made me so happy.
My youngest daughter was accepted, started and finished her first year at university. It makes me very happy to see all of her hard work rewarded with an acceptance to a great school. She is taking on the challenges of life with all the grit and determination that I had hoped she would.
I moved back in with my parents, and we've gotten both closer and further apart. As someone in the process of converting, it's been interesting. My mother is a devout Christian, and can not get over our theological differences. However, living with a different faith alongside my parents has only strengthened my conviction that I am doing what is most honest for myself. I often have to practice in silence, or deal with negative or condescending comments. I know that if they knew what I knew, and felt how I felt, they would understand - for this, I cannot fault them.
The only traditional milestone has been Eleanor's graduation. Honours. Double Major. Recognition, jobs and career launched. We are all proud of her, but even without COVID we would not have made a big deal of it as they do in the US. (My mother gave me a set of pots and pans when I graduated from college) Other milestones; Peter got a promotion and a raise. Adam has work and his health is stable. My mother turned 89, I visited family in the US and purchased the Nowa Nowa property.
Considering how many major milestones have been devastating for people this year, ours has been surprisingly pleasant. Forced by a job situation, David moved to his own apartment. It's close enough for us to get together frequently, but far enough for him to avoid us breathing down his neck. It's a lovely place and fully reflects the wonderful person we know him to be. We are now truly empty-nesters and that seems as it should be.
My youngest son got married to his best friend. They were supposed to get married September 17, 2021. But because the climate was changing in the United States, they were worried that same-sex marriages may not be allowed in 2021. The day after they got married, Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away. The possibility of same-sex marriages being eliminated is even stronger now. I’m thrilled that they were able to fulfill their dreams, but I am extremely disappointed I couldn’t be there. I blame a lot on the president. Because the pandemic is not under control, I couldn’t just fly up to Maryland to be there for the wedding.
This is the year I became an orphan. It's the year my spouse turned 50. It's the year our youngest turned 18, and graduated from high school. Our eldest graduated from university, and he chose to study abroad. Our cat died. We adopted two kittens. So many ups. So many downs. I don't think I've ever been more depressed, truly sad inside, but I've also appreciated the time to be introspective.
We came together in the house, living together for one more time. It was a great time as 4 adults that all are more interesting then when they were just kids!
There were no major family milestones this year. No children, no death, no weddings, nothing to cry about, though being alive and clothed and fed is enough to celebrate.
I got pretty sick with cellulitis, and was laid up for three weeks and on antibiotics 25 days, and am still working on gradually getting my energy back more than a month later. This has impacted my ability to provide the kind of caregiving my disabled partner is used to, and that combined with continued declines in his memory/cognition function has led to new conflict. I've figured out ways to deal with it mostly, but it's been hard emotional labor, and that is also tiring.
The biggest one is that my mom bought a condo near us last fall, and is planning to relocate here from California, which I never even dreamed could happen. I've felt really, really happy and peaceful about that news ever since, realizing how much I have missed being near her and how much I'd like to be of service and cheer to her, close by, now. It has been a total blast getting her new place ready for moving in. It too is beautiful and I think she'll be happy there, which gives me feelings of joy.
The passing of my father changed a lot with family relationships for me. There’s a lot going on here- this is going to look like a mess. First, I learned that “family comes first” has little meaning when it means something different to everyone. I grew a lot closer to my siblings handling a family tragedy but still felt overwhelmed with responsibility. I learned that I was trying not to feel joy around any member of my family outside my home b/c it made me feel guilty to not be having good times with my Dad. I learned that I get my passion and fire for inequity from my Dad- oddly enough. I learned that my relationship (a poor one) with my in-laws is mostly based in jealously and guilt that they are the only family we see on a regular basis. In short- I learned a LOT about family and I do feel that I’m better for it.
My husband and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. It has made me think that though things aren't the way I would ultimately want them to be (there is a lack of emotional & relational intimacy) I am learning to be okay with that and I have stopped wanting or expecting it.
We have more babies in the family. At least on the way. It makes me reframe how I feel about people. It's it stupid or optimistic to have a baby at the end of the gray American experiment or in the middle of a global pandemic? It makes me not want kids.
My parents got divorced and then a month later my mom got married and moved to Canada! My siblings and I are trying to hold the family together but all of our holiday traditions are changing, so it’s been weird.
My brother and his wife are pregnant with a baby girl. This will be my first niece, and my mom's first grandchild. I'm happy for them and my mom and sister and even myself, but sad for my niece. I have just finished reading Better to Have Never Been, and continue to believe that all people would be better off having never been born.
Alayna and Jacob, my daughter-in-law and son, gave birth to my granddaughter, Ozi Ariella, on Mach 17, 2020, just as the pandemic was gaining a foothold in the United States. Ozi was born a little more than three weeks early, and although in my mind that was not going to be a real threat, the doctors took it seriously and helped my children take care of their daughter wonderfully. We had agreed that I would come out to help them with Ozi as an infant, and because of COVID, this was not possible. They managed on their own, accessing resources in their community, from the internet, and by reaching out to family for support, information, and love. This has deeply affected me, in that I have not held my granddaughter and only know her through digital pictures and FaceTime. That does not feel real. I am very sad and frustrated that this precious person is out of reach, and that there is not end in sight to the difficulties presented of their living so far away from me.
Major milestone with my family this year,was learning that my elder brother is experiencing some difficulty with his memory.The affect this has had on me ,is that I do wish that travel because of COVID-19 was easier,thereby making it easier to personally help in his medically care.
We finally saved enough money to feel financially secure (if not yet entirely "free) and to potentially buy a house for the first time in 7 years. It feels good - like a relief but also something we worked incredible hard for so we feel proud of it.
I reached my 70th year in January...and that's the only momentous event in our family. Without children or grandchildren, the milestones occur between my husband and myself.
My parents were killed in a car accident in February. So, even before Covid hit....I was grieving. It's been an awful year, to say the least. My sister and I have really gotten closer as we have been dealing with the estate. We've both learned a LOT this year.
It's hard to separate out a single cause, but over the last few years, my generation of my family has drawn closer. We talk with and see each other more often, we put in the effort to get together even when our lives or COVID make it hard, we are more mindful of each other's concerns than we used to be. This is, for me, the counterweight to the awfulness of the world -- I feel more rooted in family.
My pen pal adopted me as her sister. This was very moving for me, because I believe she only felt able to ask me for it because she had finally opened up to me about something very painful in her past, and I had shown her acceptance as always. My ex-stepchild turning 10 was a major milestone, and I only wish I could have been there with them, or even told them I was thinking of them. It inspired me to finally sit down and journal what I wish I could say to them. My 3oth birthday was this year as well, and I'd been looking forward to the excuse to celebrate by renting a house in a natural area I love, with my closest family and friends. Unfortunately, the pandemic struck just before this could happen, so I got a refund on the rental, and I spent the day with just my partner and dog. However, I made the best of things, with a trip to the lake, an online dance lesson with friends on the other side of the globe, and a zoom game night with everyone I would have invited to the house and more. And my partner gave me a gift of a scrapbook filled with friends and love ones' well wishes, which not only made me feel loved by all of them, but by her as well, and I think strengthened my growing feelings for her.
Uncle Robert (Mum's brother died), the first person of that generation to die. It's worrying to think that people of my parent's generation are starting to die.
I spent Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family across the country! It was the first time I hadn't spent the holiday with my parents and sisters, and for sure felt unusual. They could tell that I was- and still am- serious about this relationship, and supported me.
The biggest thing I think has been communicating with my Mom more consistently. It has certainly benefited our relationship and helped us to refocus on our past and building a brighter future. It has totally given me the opportunity to place her where she has always belonged in my life. It let me understand that she was getting older and that I needed to value every moment that I have.
Oh, here's a big one: my family moved out of my childhood home in January. I said goodbye to the house that I had lived in for the entirety of my life, and my parents packed up everything while my brother and I were away at school and moved a town over to live in an active adult community. I was surprisingly less devastated than I would've thought regarding the move. I used to imagine that I'd be heartbroken when it came time to say goodbye to that home, but I think that I was going through a momentous and life changing time in my life already that I was barely phased by the move. I was already becoming used to a life of constant change. The new house has had its good and bad moments. My parents were happy to have some change, but they quickly began wondering if they had made the right choice for a new home. They felt isolated in a community of individuals that were all much older than them. It didn't help that COVID prevented them from truly going out and meeting new neighbors and made them feel trapped in the new place. The new house has certainly been an adjustment for our family, but this kind of change was inevitable.
Our nephew of the heart, Alex, got married earlier this month to Christina. While I love Christina because Alex loves her, I don't particularly like her. I don't pretend to know her very well, but so far, she seems to not be a good fit - less mature, more anxious, far more extroverted and taken up by her family's very traditional ways, way more "girlie" than the woman I would have expected Alex to choose for his life's mate. This feels like a disappointment - what will it mean for our relationship with Alex? He is currently the heir to our land and cabin. What will that mean going forward? Will Alex visit us as he has in the past? Will Christina always be with him? Will he or they ever really engage here - she seems afraid and intimidated by our place in the woods. This is a big shift for us, and he is not even our son, but is the son of our dear friend. It has made me more aware of getting older and of negotiating what legacy I leave behind as I get closer to the end of my life.
Arthur started preschool a few weeks ago, in the midst of a pandemic, during our first family visit in nearly a year, and only a week before having to evacuate due to poor air quality and wildfires. I was extremely excited about this milestone, because it represents progress for his education and socialization, it is only a bike ride away, and it moves us closer to our ideal lifestyle for where we live.
I am feeling closer to our eldest daughter, and I feel very good about it.
My parents finally decided to get a storage unit. It gave us all so much hope, thinking that we would finally be able to clean out that house and make it liveable. Unfortunately, coronavirus has put it all on hold. Mama is struggling with hear health again, and I'm just so anxious to get out there and clean that house properly. Hopefully this year.
My mother turned 97 recently. I have managed to pay off all of my debt except the mortgage and monthly health insurance allowing me the luxury of banking a portion of my money for the first time in my adult life.
Well I am no longer just a girlfriend but I am a fiance. This makes me so happy, since I have been waiting for this for some time. I am looking forward to the future! I would love to start a family immediately but that will have to wait until marriage. A not so good experience, was the diagnosis of a form of dementia for my step-grandma. And only a short time later my step-grandpa had heart problems. This is scary anyways but combined with an ongoing pandemic it is terrifying. I don't know when or even if I will meet them again.
I really cannot think of any major milestone in my family other than in my non-blood family, Rick and his wife, Lori. After several months of praying and asking God to help me forgive them I was able to forgive them period God did a complete work in me in that area of my life, and now for the past two months I have been helping them out with groceries, washing, bathing, and given Rick some odd jobs to do around my house. It is a totally odd situation to have my ex-husband and his wife in my home, but as I said God did a complete work in my heart and when I forgave them it was as if they had never hurt me are done me wrong at all, and seeing them together in no way bothers me. I feel that the Holy Spirit has laid it on my heart to help them as much as I can with my meager means. Rick and I still do not see eye to eye on many things so I feel like I'm still in the process of learning the lesson to keep my math closed around them and leave everything in God's hands.
We had Lucas and Diana get engaged, so our family grew by one and I find myself in a different role once again as a mother-in-law and a reminder that my kids do not need me to mother them in the same fashion
My dad going through cancer treatments for prostate cancer. And then knowing that the treatments seem to have worked. Last Rosh Hashanah Emily and I were in STL and we went to services with them. And during the blessing of the children my dad and sister LOST IT. And my mom and I couldnt stop laughing, because sometimes emotion doesnt work right. Also why aren't there a blessing of the parents that adult children can do. that should exist. And when we got to san diego the hugs were real. Just knowing we were all together. We were still connected. Dad was still dad.
We didn't hit any major milestones this year. We had our sixth anniversary at home. I made a blanket fort for them. They wrote me a lovely card. I want to get promise rings this year but they don't seem as enthusiastic about it so I don't bring it up any more.
There were several major milestones: My son is getting his first apartment My husband graduated with a MSpEd I graduated with an MSW I turned 50 I finally feel like an adult!
Our daughter just did give birth to her first child - and our other 2 grandkids are on the West Coast so this love will be 45 minutes away instead of a 6 hour plane commute. So it has been 17 years since I felt that jolt of adrenaline, and that haunting feeling of actual immortality, which went with having a grandchild in hand. She is lovely and pink and just holding her calms me and gets me in touch with another, higher plane. Now in my 70's I have no idea how many years are left to me, but time with this new little one makes me understand part of me will live on in this little girl. Wow!
I stopped speaking to my mother at the end of June. It actually preceded that back to the previous December when I needed to establish clearer boundaries around her behavior. Then in June, she was terribly unkind to me. And I realized I don't need to hear such words from anyone, including my mother, the person who is believed to give unconditional love. My boundaries became essential, paramount. My safety and the self-love and self-care I have recently learned needed to be put into practice. Consequently, I blocked her on my phone and told my sister she would have to call me if anything happens to our mother. The very next day I felt a freedom I had never felt before. I went to the store, bought fingernail polish and painted my nails. About a week later I changed my name and declared myself nonbinary. I was done chasing other's expectations for me and their fears of who I might become. I am now becoming me in all my fullness, accepting and loving all the parts of who I am. Maybe one day I'll let my mother back in. But for now, I don't need to make that decision. I will love myself as I want and need.
The most recent thing is my mother asking my step dad to move out. I started getting flashbacks to when I was a teenager and the awful, emotional, angry discussions she’d involve me in over her separation from my dad. Thankfully this time is different. I don’t live with her. I’m able to set better boundaries while still being a supportive daughter, and the separation hasn’t affected me as I think it would have even a couple of years ago.
A year ago my children had 3 great grandparents. Now they have none. We’ve also lost aunts and uncles. We don’t even have funerals anymore.
My daughter died last year. It's only just over a year ago, a few days more. We're numb still and we're anxious - everyone's anxious about everyone else. The kids worry about my health, I worry about their mental health, all to a neurotic degree. We all miss her so much we don't know what to do with ourselves. I'm tired too, right to my bones. I have no energy, I just want it all to stop. And I want to grab my other two kids and hold them tight and safe next to me for always but they're adults, in their 30s, I have to let them be.
Unfortunately, it was the sickness and passing of my dear Uncle. My dad's closest brother, and probably our closest relative growing up, he means a lot to us. And his dementia and then death has caused my parents to stare straight into their own mortality, which I think is hard as well. I have a lot of grief and sadness that I will never hear his voice again, or feel his squeeze, but I also know his quality of life the last few years was pretty bad, and he's gone to a better place.
My only family is a step sister and I have not contacted her this year. I feel guilty about not contacting her. But she has not contacted me!
A major milestone that happened with my family this year is starting to build our house. Things are finally happening and I could not be more excited!
I left my job after 20 years. It’s slowed me down, made me more chosen about how I spend my time but also has been a bit disorienting in a very tumultuous year.
My dad turned 74 and it bought tears to my eyes. I was so thankful to God for allowing my dad to see 74 years after being diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. My dad went from going to chemo 2 times a week to now once every 6 weeks. God is GOOD!
Everett moves in with MacKenzie and is happy . MacKenzie and Kevin got married. I’m more proud and less worried about them.
We're having a baby! Jason got sick and almost died in November and lol at my answer last year - the upstairs bathroom plumbing started leaking impacting the basement. We re did the entire plumbing. Everything this year has taught us how fragile time and life is. And we really thought about what we wanted. All of that led to our favorite thing of 5781.
It could be our 40th anniversary--but really, it's not. That was nice, but not as big a deal as I would have liked. It is, I think, the kids' move from Livermore to the Central Valley. It means that 4 of the 5 grandkids are no longer within walking distance, but a long drive away. It will change my relationship with them, but also make space for more time with the Richmond kids.
Miriam started kindergarten. Not only is she doing it virtually, but she is doing it at a different school and in a different state than we had planned. And she is so excited and loving it. The decision to temporarily relocate to LA seemed like a hard decision when we made it, but seeing Miriam's excitement to be with her cousins makes me know that we made the right choice. But if I am honest with myself it also makes me sad. Because she talks about liking school and her teachers, but she doesn't know how much she is missing by having to do all of this remotely.
We got a dog!!! It has been a commitment for all of us. I've stepped up and gotten training, etc. organized for Bowie and for us. I'm super happy that we got a dog. We've spent a TON of money on training, toys, beds, leashes, treats, etc. It's given our family a big project to work on together. It's added activities to our roster for us to do together that we wouldn't have done previously - like hike Dry Creek Trail.
We planned a family holiday together. For the first time, both of our sons and their significant others expressed an interest in doing a joint family holiday. Unfortunately, after 3 months of planning and discussing many options, Covid-19 cancelled the entire trip! But it was fun to plan it together!
As a family our milestones have all been personal; Adam still won’t talk to Sophie. His grudge stands. I’ve spent time with both of them separately this year. But both of them, individually are hitting their stride. Adam has emerged from a very dark time in his life, and he is working toward starting his own forging business, making gunmetal and chef knives in his workshop in Bend. He and Mel seem to be humming together as a couple. Sophie, too, has worked very hard this year to grow her homestead, planting an enormous garden, getting more chickens, doing improvements inside the house. They’re both so industrious. This makes me happy. That they’re really moving into their own adulthoods. I can relax as the mother part of me that wants to mother as long as I have to. Now I can think more about what I would like. I can focus on what I’ve always kept in the periphery. And I can continue to deepen my relationship with them, these fascinating beautiful people with their own purpose and life meaning.
I feel like we haven't had the time or space for milestones this year. We have done what we can to make life enriching and consistent for our kid and to find new and creative ways to work from home and maintaining our nanny share. One thing that comes to mind is, my sister-in-law and her husband moved to my hometown which happens to be where my dad also lives, about 3.5 hours away by car. This is so very excellent, since it means we have been able to see them a few times even with the pandemic happening. And if my dad ever has some kind of emergency it is good to know they are close by. They moved right at the start of it all in March, though, so they haven't had a chance to explore their new area. I hope they are able to stay long-term because not having to fly to see family is the best thing.
Major milestone was the birth of my first great granddaughter. I don't feel older, I feel excited!!! We'll be getting a five generation picture done shortly. So amazing. I think I actually answered this question when I answered the first question...lol!!
Well, I've already answered the same thing for the other two questions. I'm going to be an aunt. Maybe. Probably. I already am, but not on my immediate family, as opposed to my husband's. My mom got her wish of being a grandmother. I just wasn't the one to give her that gift. I'm hurt, I'm angry, I'm disappointed. I am not hopeful, but I hope I'm wrong.
It doesn't affect the entire family, but my granddaughter is 6+ months clean and sober and I am one of the people she credits with helping her. She was suicidal and I helped her. If all my depression helped me help her then it was worth it. Her grandfather doesn't get it, but I was here. I am proud of her and myself.
I guess I'm not that close to my family, because it mostly seems like we live our own lives without a lot of pressure or even input from one another.
Lois started school! She was so looking forward to it! We managed to get a backpack in time, Maren made a beautiful "Schultüte" and even if it was very different from "normal" years it was her very special day! Her grandparents came the day before and celebrated with her - it was great. And now she is a big school kid! And even though I was concerned that it might not work out with her and the school and Mikka she is going there every day happy and excited! She can't wait for the weekend to be over and loves everything about it!
My son graduated from Middle School and started Highschool in a peculiar fashion - remotely. It was a challenge to keep him motivated as the 8th grade year came to an end. HS start however has been good. When he is happy I am happy.
My aunt died. It sucked. I am not sure how to live in this world without her.
It's going to be hard to avoid answering 'covid' for each one of these! I think a major milestone for me has been my brother and I buying my Mum's house for her. We've been discussing it for years and it's never felt like the right time. Then the pandemic started, Mum admitted how low she is on cash and we had to step in, basically. When I moved into that house when I was 13, in 1997, I never would have guessed that one day I'd own it. I feel annoyed that Mum never got her act together enough to actually pay off any of her mortgage. None. In fact, she now owes more than she did when she first took it out. In four years, Mark and I have paid off about £15k of our mortgage. She got an interest only so really low repayments, and then wished on a star for her endowment. We've asked her what she expected to do, at 71 and unemployed. She says she hoped a man would come along. Or she'd win the lottery. I also feel sad for her, that her kids have had to bail her out of this mess. I am glad too, that we will never find ourselves in this situation. Or at least, are unlikely to.
My relationship with my mother-in-law finally broke. We are still not open about how much we dislike each other but I believe it is understood between the two of us. I have released myself from the guilt of not being able/willing to make that relationship work, which is a relief. I still have to deal with her at times, but I will not allow her to manipulate me and I will find ways to assert boundaries.
Our daughter had her first baby - a boy!
COVID -19 is the major milestone. It has separated us physically but we are closer than ever. I spend so much time with Chris and love every minute. I have taught myself how to work from home in a new job with very little direction. Evan's death affected us all. We miss him so much and hope that his spirit will continue to guide Din.
I lost my job in March. I’ve had multiple interviews with no offer until today. The position pays considerable less than I was making but more than unemployment. I start 10/1.
I retired, after more than three decades with one institution. I am still trying to figure out what defines me, because I had devoted so much of my energy to my professional identity. In some respects, the pandemic helped make this more of a clean break, but I'm still a work in progress.
hmm i kind of answered this with my answer to the day #1 question. so maybe i should change my answer to that one. because i think a milestone is that four of us are living together and i don’t know who it’s worst for but overall it’s definitely not great for me.
A major milestone was my mom’s colon cancer diagnosis. It added more stress and anxiety to an already challenging year. Thankfully, she is in remission now, which makes me even more appreciated of any time spent together.
3) Personally, very proud of my relationship with Naomi - again, a growth experience last year in overcoming my own stuff around fertility and Geneve being born, which has evolved into an incredible love for my niece and genuine happiness for my sister and her wonderful husband Josh, and their growing family.
No real big major milestones this year with my parents and sister. My mother-in-law fell and broke her shoulder during this pandemic and she lives all alone. My husband was helping her get through the initial part. My husband turned 50 this year, that is a milestone. We got him a motorcycle that he adores and has been upgrading during this pandemic.
This past year, my young cousin died of colon cancer. Not only was he too young to die, he was a brilliant human, someone I consider myself lucky to even know, much less share a gene pool. This was a year when many bad things happened to many good people.
Number Two Son P. and his Lovely Lady L. moved to Eilat. So they are really far away. We came to an idea of paying for them to hire a vehicle to come up here. Now of course with lockdown that's not possible He feels so far away and I cannot get there. Minimum 2 buses (first to Jerusalem and then on to Eilat). A. has become more and more slovenly in his attention to appearance - wandering round for hours in his boxers, etc. Neither dieting nor exercising, although he has bought a bit of gym equipment in the absence of *going to the gym* because of COVID19. SO ... it's just us. Which gives a certain flexibilty. But also it's lonely. He calls almost daily which is nice. And she calls too It's kind of hard to hear him say "I helped Linoy's father with this or that". He also sees that imbalance.
My life has completely changed in the last year. I have became a mother and now have a whole little person to take care of. It has been the absolute best thing that has ever happened to my life.
My mom moved across the country. I'm so happy and proud of her, and it just signifies how our family is growing up. I miss her but am happy for her growth.
My father turned 70! Although, due to the Corona Virus I couldn't visit, I was happy to sign to him virtually. My parents climbing the tree of life reminds me to spend every second that I have with them with love n mind. I love these people and even though they'll be in my heart forever, they may not share the same plane of exitance forever.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. My sister got married. During Covid. I mean, whatever, there are reasons to get married, and reasons not to postpone that, I get that marriage affects things like insurance, and taxes, and whatnot. But a destination wedding? During a pandemic? Having a buffet which is definitely not legal currently? Not requiring masks of the attendees? This is selfish, cruel, and she is fucking lucky she didn't become one of those cautionary tales in the news of a wave of illness and death caused by a fucking wedding. I did not attend the wedding, I am still furious over 2 months later, and I don't expect that to change for months more at best. My aunt, my kind and thoughtful and clever scientist aunt, even she seems a bit broken over it. She went to the wedding, didn't feel like she had a choice, but was aghast at the way the rest of the family spat in the face of science. I don't know if family is an option.
with both of us being able to work from home, we've had more time to spend on ourselves and each other.
A major milestone with our family is, of course, the Covid 19 pandemic. While we've mostly been sheltering in place, it's allowed us to really engage with one another and I'm finding I really to like these people I am bound to. I don't know that my mother every felt that way about me, or any of my sisters. It's been so heartwarming and rewarding to know I could feel this. I didn't think I was capable of having a family who I wanted to be around and who wanted to be around me. Sheltering in place taught me that I could.
I moved back home with my parents. After twelve years of being away, it was a chance to spend time together as adults and establish our adult dynamics. It was definitely frustrating -- living at home is not really a contextually-appropriate activity, especially long-term -- but gave us a chance to learn and accept each other for who we are. I am glad it happened, although I am glad this phase is coming to an end :)
We had two deaths in my family, both of my parents' step dads. This was definitely really emotional for all of us and has certainly brought us a lot of grief while bringing us together. I think these affected me more than I'd like to admit, adding a layer of sadness to my life over the past year.
Having a mother that has never followed the rules for the most part - COVID has been made scarier knowing she isn't social distancing, wearing a mask (now she is because it is a rule) or quarantining after traveling - she hasn't slowed her travel or engagement with anyone or anything -except in the cases where the airlines or countries shut it down - but I am fairly certain that she would have gone if she could have. Her partner doesn't believe this is real (science denier) so he is making it more difficult for us to get to her - or we are choosing to not be around her due to their cavalier response to this pandemic. She has stated that she has lived a wonderful life and if COVID is what takes her down she is ok with it - so myself and sister had to get OK with it too! I am not saying that I am and I really don't want to be at her funeral saying she was dumb and died from COVID - I want to say she was dumb and died falling off a mountain or being mauled by a bear - not that I want these things to happen but I do want her to go out on her own terms - so I take a deep breathe and let it be what it will be!
1. In April, Susan nearly died due to an ectopic pregnancy that she was unaware of. This experience has made me very grateful that both Susan's family and our family work well together to help with Owen. 2. Last November, I noticed a lump in my neck; as time progressed it grew and after multiple scans and biopsy, I had my thyroid removed in September. This 10 month journey of uncertainty has reminded me that I don't do well with the unknown. I am relieved that the surgeon was confident and helped me to find answers. There is more to be discovered as I seek balance with my medication.
We did it, we all did it, we survived IVF, and we came out of it with a pregnancy. At this point it all feels like a blur. I know that some aspects of the trauma from the last two years still linger, that I still have fears and doubts about whether we will have the family we desire, but a lot of that has also faded into the background. This pregnancy has restored my ability to hope, to pray without anger or resentment, to wonder at the world again. Slowly, slowly, it feels like I'm coming back to myself - the me who sings in the shower, who finds that miracles abound, who dances in the living room.
My dad’s 70th birthday! My husband’s mom moving out of her home. They are getting older, we are getting older. Dor holech, v dor ba. It has made me more aware that I am getting older.
Deployment! The end of deployment! Being gone would have always been rough, then there was a worldwide pandemic on top of it. The boy learned so much!
My sister got confirmed into the church! She was working towards this for so long, and I'm excited that she gets to start being a pastor all on her own now. I'm really proud of her and I think she's honestly doing some really awesome work. I hope she knows that. I think I'll go tell her about it now.
My mom's mom, aka Bubby, passed away in July. It was just after my 25th birthday. While it wasn't necessarily surprising-we had been preparing for it for a long time since her Dementia was getting worse and guessed that last Thanksgiving would be our last with her-it was still extremely sad. We lost a ray of sunshine and a beacon of lively fun and steadfast motherly love in a time when we needed it most. In a short period of time this year in the midst of the COVID-19 crisis, many of my heros of older generations have left this earth. Bubby, Rep. John Lewis, C.T. Vivian, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. With them gone, I fear the legacies they have built and the struggles they endured to help me and my peers achieve success and civil rights will be forgotten and broken down. But at the same time, it is a wake up call for me that now I have to keep remembering what they taught me, and become the next leader to keep their legacies going. In a time when I am isolated from my family physically and there are so many bad things happening in the world, I need more than ever to remember what Bubby taught me-to sing and dance through life, to be grateful for what I have, do what makes me happy, and to stay in touch with family and friends. Even though she is gone, her memory inspired me to practice piano more, watch more Musicals, call my Aunts and cousins, and reach out to extended family members.
Isaac got engaged! It's felt....weird to be honest! But in a good way. Like, he's been dating Bri for what feels like forever, and marriage is obviously the next step. I feel like I need to work harder to have a relationship with her for his sake, and also because she's about to be family! And that matters, right?
I appreciate how my family has come together to support my dad during this time of isolation. The Sunday zoom calls with my brothers and dad have been the highlight of his week. The regular calls with his grandkids are so special to him. Living alone during the pandemic in your 90s can’t be easy and I feel so much responsibility for my dad. I really appreciate the whole family stepping up.
Major milestone is communicating better.I am working on communicating with my family better through phone calls, especially since I'm moving this week!
Our first year in RI has been a major milestone. We are happy here, but miss our friends in Philadelphia and being geographically close to our VA / MD family.
The death of my mom. She was killed in a car accident by a man who stole a truck and wreaked havoc including killing my mother and putting 5 other people in the hospital. I am learning to live without her physical presence and to continue my loving relationship with her. I am working to stay out of any guilt about the what could have beens and what ifs.
Major family milestone? There were no simchas, there were (thank Gd) no tragedies. We're all still here, which is certainly a BLESSING, although perhaps not a milestone. I just wish we could spend "normal" time together.
I’m pretty sure every answer this year is going to be related to having a baby. We expanded our family by one! Becoming a mother is the single most important and impactful thing that has happened this year and in my whole life. I’ve changed and in the best way possible. I’m more relaxed and see the world differently. My relationship with my husband has gotten stronger and even more loving. I feel we were meant to be parents.
My in-laws celebrated their 40th Anniversary. We couldn't celebrate with them and that makes me sad. We couldn't celebrate any birthdays or good things.
I think the big milestones this year were the birthdays for our family that were completely in quarantine. The hubby and I both turned 40 within days of each other, and our kids turned 9 and 11. It was hard not to celebrate these events in a big way, but there's always 2021.
My sister got engaged! I’m excited to help plan wedding-related things and go dress shopping. It’s not until October 2021, so hopefully this whole pandemic thing will be over by then and the wedding won’t have to be postponed.
Navigating the pandemic with my parents in Miami, and my brother David living with them, and our different standards for caution and care for our parents. I have been working with my family to find solutions, and to reach a better understanding. Letting go of the need to be right.
Of course, it was still dealing with the death of my father. He died in early September of 2019, and this loss is felt by each member of my family every day. I was in Texas with my mom for a couple months this summer, and his absence is palpable. I kept expecting him to come in the door. I think it has made me feel a little bit like I am in free fall, especially with the pandemic layered on top of the grief. I have also felt like the rest of the world, now that they are dealing with the pandemic and how it has changed our everyday lives, is catching up to me in the grief department.
The birth of the two grandchildren was so joyful. We live far from the children and the virus kept us away for many months. We had a respite in the summer and were able to visit Liba and Yael and their families. I saw Moshe's family in December and Nomi's in March. I feel fearful that my time for enjoying the children is being eaten up by the virus.
I built a deck instead of hiring it out. This was a major change in what I believed I could accomplish on my own and it built my confidence. It's a satisfying thing to use and see now that it's completed.
This feels like it's all about my dad, but I'm going to try and think beyond the death to other things that may have happened. My daughter continues to grow - and her phases are difficult and wonderful all at the same time. She's super smart, and those qualities can be used for good or ... well, not good. So we're trying to help her focus for good. My sister in law says you have to repeat things 1000s of times but it will sink in eventually. I spent my birthday - my 47th birthday - on a zoom karaoke night. It was kind of lame. And i just got my mammogram results on Rosh Hashana and they were negative, I take that as a good sign
attending Limmud conference in England as LNA co-chair was indeed a strengthening experience. It is good to look back and see that 5780 was not entirely defined by the pandemic the way 2020 will be.
I’ve finally moved into the new place with my SO Having our own place makes a huge difference, and is especially beneficial for my mental health despite the added responsibility. It’s a huge milestone that we’ve achieved together and I’m grateful to be on this path with him.
Celebrating Bube's 96th birthday with all of my aunts, uncles, cousins and their kids on Zoom was really something. But I am already sad - knowing that when Bube does die, those same faces won't be here in person, as they would have been in another time, another year - to accompany each other through that hard time. I'm already missing my extended family at an event that hasn't happened yet.
Miscarriage. Facing new and strong emotions together, and sometimes not together.
My son was born in March. Becoming a parent is the all-consuming milestone for the 5780. My son's circumcision is an act which symbolizes God's claim on him as a member of the Jewish people. This ceremony is also an act of the faith and commitment of his parents to our son's Jewish identity. Having a Jewish son has caused me to redoubled my efforts to get acquainted with Jewish religion. I cannot offer my son accounts of my experience growing up and being a Jewish person. My family history does not include Jewish memory. I cannot be an example of an acculturated Jewish person to my son. My wife brings her gifts of Jewish heritage and first-hand experience to bare. My experience in these spheres is ancillary to her offering. She has the personal experience of being elected into the Jewish family. I have the ability to elect myself into the Jewish religion. This ability includes, but is not limited to religious conversion. Participating in the choreography of birth and circumcision in this Jewish family has compelled me to seek Jewish religious knowledge, experience, and community in the project of becoming spiritually mature and fulfilling a righteous purpose in my life. I'm not satisfied with merely knowing about Judaism. Instead, I desire to intertwine my sense of self and view of the world with Jewish religion. I do not think that this will result in conversion.
Like everyone, COVID happened to our family and kept us from being able to see one another in person for months. I wasn't able to hug Mom for months and she had a rough start to the pandemic, struggling with some sort of benign positional vertigo in addition to losing access to all her social and physical activities. It was very lonely for me and Mom, specifically, during the first few months of COVID. Francine and Greg had their family and I know they had their own stresses with homeschooling the boys and getting Greg online with his teaching, but it's different when you live by yourself and you're forced to self-isolate.
My cousin had triplets. I suppose that with 2020 being the year of death, it is nice to have new life.
Moving helped me mom and I to establish some boundaries that have affected me in positive ways. We're still working on it, but it feels like a major milestone to me.
My cousin and her husband are pregnant—they're the first of my generation, in my dad's family, to have a kid. I've started talking with my partner about wanting to have children in the next couple years. I really hope this is something we can do together.
The best thing that happened in 2020 was that my brother, sister-in-law and nephew moved back to Ohio. They are just under 2 hours away. I can't wait to spend much more time with them. They are very important people in my life and I can't wait to enjoy them.
Craig and I started working with a reproductive endocrinologist to try to conceive. Even though I am really nervous about having a baby, my primary feeling now is determination. We're on our sixth IUI right now, and will be going to IVF if it doesn't work. Surprisingly, I'm not as nervous as I thought I would be (or it could just be that my meds are working really well). Either way, I'm determined to do this and I won't let anything--or anyone--stop me.
I don't have anything to add for this. Our year was thankfully fairly steady. Daughter heads off to college in January. That will be an interesting time.
My 80´s father birthday. Uniting the family again in a lunch out. Seeing my father happy with his family and frends. e and my brother surprised him a lot.
At the end of March/beginning of April, my father was on a ventilator with COVID-19 and my stepmother was in the hospital with COVID-19 at the same time. It was one of the scariest things I have ever experienced. They both survived but are far from back to normal. It feels like the two of them, myself, and my brother, all have to start thinking about things we thought we wouldn’t need to consider for another 20 years or so. We all grew older to some extent or another.
No births, and thank God, no divorces or deaths. The pandemic, a universal watershed.
The best answer I have is that my mom moved out of the house she'd lived in for six and a half years. It felt liberating. It often feels refreshing to move to a new home, but in this case, it felt especially so. The old house had been small for six people, packed into a tight lot, and run by an incompetent landlord. This house is larger and more well-run, which is especially nice given the amount of time we're all spending at home right now. My mom had talked for years about wanting to move, and this was her first step towards that.
My dad died. Nothing will ever be the same.
My brother got engaged. I feel pretty good about it! I felt some insecurities about him being first, but I've been working through those for a while. I'm happy that he's engaged to Jamie and I'm happy for both of them ultimately.
My mother got married. There was no wedding or celebration because of the pandemic. I am happy she is happy.
I found out through 23andme I have 73 half siblings and am only 50% Jewish biologically. At first it was extremely shocking - I knew my biological father was a sperm donor but the sperm bank had lied and told my parents he was Jewish when he wasn't. I also knew I might have half siblings somewhere in the world but never expected so many. For a period of time, my identity was really shaken, but now I feel it's brought me closer to my roots and my Judaism and who I want to be. I haven't formed any close relationships with the half siblings but I'm glad to know they exist.
Well, it's going to be a recurring theme here. Cancer the second winter in a row (for me) was a big one. Because of the second winter in a row thing, the impact was not as big this year as last. I value my time with them more, but also my time alone more.
We've decided to try for a baby. First, it reduced my anxiety about baby-making (finally we're doing it!). Then it made me more anxious (why am I not pregnant yet? is something wrong with me?). Then ultimately I got tired of worrying. I guess we'll just see what happens.
No, major milestones. No births, deaths or marriages. Still waiting for my niece to divorce her husband. Maybe by the end of the year.
Paz completed high school, and earned her driving license. This has had a great effect on how the car is being used, and how often the garbage is taken out
I think the biggest shift is how differently everyone has responded to COVID-19, and how we've drawn together. Mainly to support my grandma. I think we've managed to stay in touch and support one another really well.
A milestone is in my relationship with my older brother. It was always a very contentious relationship- to say the least. I don't know what happened; more than that we are each getting older. We both have had to hit rock bottom in our respective ways to really change - ultimately - to survive. It was these changes that could make us love each other as adults, as siblings, as people with our own perspectives. It's one of the best things in my life.
My uncle Eddie died during COVID-19. We haven’t had a service for him yet. Maybe on his one-year anniversary. We haven’t seen each other since 2019 due to the pandemic. It’s so strange.
Senior year for a Leeor One disappointment after the other Very sad But we got thru it We learned so much along the way
This year my fiance and I celebrated our first year together. There's the old sardonic myth that children of single parents don't believe in true love. I used to believe that, too. But happily spinning and laughing, crying and hugging, kissing and cuddling through a year has been a true joy and adventure. I was always so scared I could never commit in love because I would get bored. I kept running from it because I didn't want to hurt myself being vulnerable with another person. One year to inspire as many more as I am blessed with.
Biggest Milestone this year for this family and tens of thousands more, was the COVID isolation and sequester, and then on top of that another major fire, that has the Eastern half of our County on fire, with towns destroyed, lives lost, and it is not over. The black and red skies for days, like night in the middle of the day, with the ash fall, as peoples hopes and dreams went up in fire. It brought back for many with PTSD, including my family the horror of the Paradise Fire Storm, November 8, 2018. It precipiatated for me the deepest depression suffered in 50 years, and it has dipped into that again with all that is going on around us, firestorms, COVID, and TRUMP. I finally asked for some help, and had prescribed a new drug two summers ago for depression and anxiety, Cymbalta, that has really made a huge positive difference. The decision by Robb and Emma to sell the Outpost, and then as quickly to move to Chico near us, is the other major milestone this last year. Acquiring Jackson, "Jack or Jackie" almost three years ago as our rescue dog, a black miniature schnauzer , who had all the same problems as me, back and bladder issues, and general decrapity, needing naps a lot, took ill and died within a week. He is honored by a Dog Wood tree in our garden. Millie our other life long and my son's dog who is "mostly labrador" is dealing with cancer and showing her age, now 14, and wisdom. I love her with all my heart but she is getting senile, too, and she has been in COVID quaranteen for months. The Oroville and Paradise Fire, and COVID and POLITICS, has wrung me out emotionally in so many ways, and continues.
Mom needed and still needs help with her toileting. I've been humbled as I wipe mom's bottom and change her diaper/underwear.
Jackie got Mary and have a baby and now he’s seven months old. Samuel David a light of my life. See earlier answer.
The death of my father in law. He was bedridden for so many years. Now we are feeling free and feeling full as we did our duties well by taking care of him.
My sister’s death was covered some in #1 and #2. That was central. I have done more sorting and dumping, partly because of my moving to a very small room. I’m in the “I know I must be ruthless” mode of thought, not a doing one. Actually, I’m encouraged because I have dumped a bunch of stuff Just Now, and I have a plan to work for an hour monthly on this - hoping I will find it feasible biweekly! I have new hope now!
My nephew released a computer game that went viral. It has been great fun seeing the reaction to the game on Twitter and I am very proud of him and his friends.
The baby of the Alosi Nine past away. These are the nine brother and sisters that made up my father and his siblings. The umbrella of safety that me and 50 cousins sheltered under. There are only 2 of the nine left. All is uncertain. it is so weird.
Helena accepted her brother into the family. The first six or so months were not easy and at times terrible. Not only does she like having a brother now but the two have started to play together. It’s a lot of work having two but also awesome to watch them play and interact together and it feels like our family is more complete now.
My older brother and his fiancee are expecting their first child together, and I got my IUD removed. Now that we are actually trying to have a kid, and have someone just ahead of us, going through the process...the possibility of being a mom feels so much more tangible.
My wife got into her dream medical school 🏫. I am sooo happy for her. And this milestone moved us from LA to Sacramento so that affected me greatly because I’ve been in LA for more than a decade so the change initially was different but im making the most of it. And am more focused on my goals !!
Almost simultaneously my brother proposed to his girlfriend and my father was pushed out of his job. The former was generally exciting, though did prompt me to consider heteronormative structures and what I see for myself in the future. I have found life milestones to be fun celebrations, plus his fiancée is lovely, so it just prompted a good bit of happy. The latter gave me pause before the situation was further explained to me. I remember feeling immediately nervous because when I think of my dad (and the way my parents live) I think of financial security. It was interesting and helpful to hear from him what his career means to him and affirming to note similarities.
We're building a new house. We went househunting, and settled on new construction. It means leaving a house where I built a life with my late husband. The house where my daughter was born. It's had It's ups and downs. A lot of memories have come back to me. I am both sad and excited.
I got engaged! I'm the youngest and my sister is already married, so I'll be the last one. I'm also planning a much more traditional wedding than my sister had, so I think the whole family is looking forward to it.
The stand out one was my sister in law leaving her husband. It shook that side of the family to the core and will change things forever. The family are spread throughout the UK, US and NZ and used to have family get togethers every few years, usually based at my SIL's house. If I'm honest I'm relieved. I found the reunions really tough. The family is dysfunctional and the pressures always spilled over into emotional fights. It caused some rifts between me and my husband; he had an affair a few years ago and yet was very judgemental about his sister leaving for another man. That hurt. The whole event has made me think about me and my needs a bit more. I want to be kind, but not always compromise on what I want. Time to stop being a people pleaser all the time!
Amber and Joe got married. I've never been so happy to invite someone into our family. I also have never had a more emotional week since 2005
This year was my youngest child’s bar mitzvah. I was so looking forward to this simcha — giving him the needlepointed bags for his tallis and tefillin his grandmother (my mother) and I made, watching him lay tefillin, lead services and layn, hoping my father would be allowed by his oncologist to travel. None of it came about as planned. He got the needlepointed bags, lay tefillin over Zoom, and stood nearly alone in our synagogue on a Thursday to layn his parsha and deliver his dvar in front of a computer screen. No kiddush, no aliyah, no shopping for that first suit since the malls were shuttered. I give the kid credit: he rolled with it better than I. I felt the loss and the lack of simcha in this milestone. After what was already a crappy year (spouse still unemployed), missing friends and family due to a cross-country move, I’d been holding this simcha as something I was truly living for. It’s just a day and one of many and he’ll be able to layn and lead services in the future but this Zoom bar mitzvah felt like a real loss.
We didnt go to Hawaii- that was going to be huge but we had to cancel due to COVID. We were Able to virtually chat, which was nice. I also bought my dads old car- so I'm hoping to visit my family more often.
Mom and dad retired. It's about fucking time. I feel relieved, yet I worry about them all the time with covid. I worry about them being isolated, and now with no work they will be more isolated. I wish I could visit them but it's too big of a covid risk.
My son and daughter-in-law are expecting my first Grandchild. Today we had a baby shower.
I retired. My latest teaching gig was so stressful and so impossible to succeed in that retiring was an extra relief. I feel so much happier now. The retirement happened around the covid lockdown. (I had planned retirement for April 1. The schools were closed March 20.) Now I get to look for a second career, with manageable financial pressure. (main bill covered, but no savings til I get a job).
I feel useless and not needed.
I turned 60 this year without much to mark it. My oldest invited me over for outside distanced dining and my younger two graced me with a backyard visit, but no party with friends, favorite foods, or other notable celebration to mark the occasion. That highlighted yet another loss in the time of COVID. At least I have both my parents alive, a loving husband, wonderful girls, adorable grandsons, and a lot of loyal friends. I'll choose to count my blessings.
Thankfully No, as I reflect on the journeys of my blood relations or my chosen family. I missed the feeling you get when you take off your bra after returning home from the wedding, and I didn't get to smell a newborn or drop someone with a one-way ticket off at the airport. I've had my share of these things and I'm sure there are more to come.
My Grandmother turned 100 during the pandemic. I felt like we were celebrating a bar mitzvah. It was very important to me to celebrate my grandmother as best we could. We did a drive by parade! It was perfect. I was very emotional. My grandmother waved like she was the Queen. It was a beautiful day. I will be forever thankful and grateful to family and friends, the police and fire departments who helped make the day so meaningful for her and us!!!!
Aislinn moved to Ireland and that was really exciting. I do miss her a lot and dog sitting has been hard. I am really close to her and excited for her but really miss her.
This year, we both lost a dog, and got a new puppy. Losing Davi was really hard for me because he was my first dog and we had him since I was 9 years old. It was a little difficult for me to accept my family's decision to put him down because of his diabetes and decreased quality of life, but I understood that it was the best decision. I miss him and hope that we gave him the best life possible while we could. It’s been really exciting to have our new puppy, Harry! He is the sweetest, tiniest thing, and I’m so glad he is here and bringing joy to our family. My mom keeps mentioning that Harry will probably be their “last dog” though, which is upsetting to me because I don’t want to think about my parents getting older but that’s another story…
My older grandson turned 15 this year. He has turned into a perfectly splendid young man. He finished his last year of middle school remotely with a 99 percent average and earned highest honors. He is starting high school with three advanced placement courses and playing soccer. He is the only freshman who oils playing on the varsity team. He is helpful at home ( and makes the best Ice cream). He is a mensch at 15 and I am so proud of him.
My sister started college and has moved in with my boyfriend and myself. It has given me time to get to know my sister, though it is also weird having her with us. My younger kitty loves her so she's definitely part of the family.
I turned 55, one of my brothers turned 60. I can't imagine being 55. I can't believe my brother is 60. I don't feel 55. I feel about 35. I wish though that I knew at 20, what I know now. I wish there was a way to share with my younger self, what I know now. I plan on sharing what I've learned with my niece and nephews. No need for them to make the same mistakes I made.
Just a couple days ago my brother adopted a baby girl that’s birth mom is from Honduras. It’s crazy that my parents a few years ago were saying oh I will never accept a baby with out our blood line, now they are happy that they finally get a granddaughter. They said they will not accept anyone not white and adoption is not what they want. Not all of a sudden they are flying to Houston during a tropical storm and Hurricane to see the baby that my brother and his wife adopted. They have been trying for as long as they have been married. I hope they will take care of this baby the best she deserves. I hope for all the best! I pay for it! Wish us luck.
I got married. It made me move to Canada, which I am not thrilled about, but he wouldn't move to the states. I miss my parents, I miss my friends, thanks to covid killing travel i haven't seen them. COVID also has overwhelmed me and I am generally bad with keeping up with friends without event reminders, and now it's just worse, I have fallen out of touch with so many people, and i just doomscroll, and often avoid responding to messages because it takes thinking.
The coronavirus. I think it probably affected everybody. I was able to spend a lot more time with my granddaughter. Her mother had not let me see her very much because of her resentment toward me. Because My granddaughter was not able to go to School we spent a lot more time together. We planted tomatoes we planted poop we walk the dogs taught her frisbee hula hoop coloring books I read to her I tell her about her great grandmother. She learned how to swim. We have had sleepovers. She helps me do the dishes and wants to learn how to cook. She’s only four. I am Working from home which is so much better. I feel like getting closer to retirement. I’ve connected with some really good friends. But more like doing things like shopping at the grocery store or farmers market instead of going to concerts. I hope that the virus is beat But I like the connections I have been able to make again.
My dog ran into me & broke my hip. It's been a journey to recovery & it's been a hard time finding a new normal.
There really haven't been any major milestones in our family this year. All that exists is a grinding sameness with each new day passing much like the day before in a continuum. We would have celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary in Maui, but everything is on hold.
Three of our geriatric pets have died. Each has been a devastating loss in its own way, and each has raised unique questions about what quality of life really means.
My youngest son and his wife lost their housing and asked to move in with me. I was one month from retirement, of course I said yes. I explained I had no idea what retirement would look like, but I think family should stick together.
The major news of our family is that our granddaughter is having twins!!! We are so happy for her. We welcome this wonderful news.
My son spent four months working in an international environmental sustainability program in Israel. He got there just as the pandemic was starting to hit, so the program was not what he had thought it would be. My family, including my parents, had hoped to visit him. Instead, we had to be content with Zoom meetings for major events such as Passover and his birthday. So he missed out on a lot, but was probably better off overseas than being quarantined at home.
I guess that it's that my dad's now old enough that he really shouldn't be driving. He's unstable on his feet (after playing 4 rounds of golf a week within the last couple of years) and generally unhappy with life. It comes as a bit of a shock, especially as I'm noticing the effects of aging myself. I guess it comes to us all.
My brother sold his Arizona house, which my parents had been using, so instead I get to see them a lot more as they are only 2 miles from my house.
We have all been home with one another for the past 6 months. It has had a LOT of ups and downs, but one thing I really appreciate is how much I have learned about each of my family members - how Alon and Sonya learn (which I really didn't know much about before), how they handle things (or don't), and so on. I've also realized how much I need space, and in some ways I think all the togetherness has affected me in really negative ways because I'm not getting that space at all.
Let's talk milestones....my daughter moved to a new city to start a new career. My niece had a beautiful baby girl. My nephew got a new coaching job at a new school.
It was amazing seeing kids graduate from elementary and middle school. Even the pandemic could not stop that.
My sister, my mother, and I had and continue to have a wonderful and close relationship.
My younger son became a Bar Mitzvah this year. I am incredibly proud of him, and it is a joy to see him begin to be a more grown-up version of himself. It was also incredibly meaningful for our family to see so many people in the zoom gallery for the event. Although it is not how any of us would have wanted given the choice, our extraordinary rabbi really made it magical and having an occasion was a blessing.
I saw my son transform and become more focused and lost over 100 pounds. His motivation is contagious and he has gained so much respect from peers and even us that I see a change in his attitude towards school and life.
My granddaughter Melissa gave birth to a baby boy Charlie. And, that made my first daughter Kathie a grandmother, and me a great grandfather at age 80. It has been an amazing year in so many different ways.
There were two. I turned 50 two weeks ago. I had been dreading it, and for a while I was thinking I wouldn't have any kind of special celebration or even tell people it was a milestone birthday. I thought I would just have a quiet dinner with my husband. But as the date drew closer, it occurred to me that even though I was feeling grumpy about it now, I would probably regret it years from now if I let this occasion go by secretly. So I asked my girlfriends to have a party, and I posted a "50 and fabulous" photo on Facebook, so now everyone knows. It's just weird, because when I think of the concept of being 50 years old, it doesn't have anything to do with how I feel or how I see myself. Maybe I'm pleasantly deluded. But it makes me feel anxious about what I haven't yet done in life that I would like to. I also feel sad about not being able to have a child, and the number 50 feels, and is, very final in that regard. The other milestone is far worse, though. My stepson died by suicide on August 27, a few days shy of his 33rd birthday. (Celebrating my birthday so soon after felt very strange.) A friend of his told me shortly after his death that he had talked about me as if I were his mother, not his stepmother. We were close, and I knew he loved me, but he had a hard time expressing his feelings. I'm glad to know he felt that way, but I wish I had known while he was alive. My husband and I are gutted, of course. We have agreed that we won't let this destroy us. But it's an unimaginable grief.
I learned that my brother and his girlfriend will be most likely moving to Austin (my city) within the next year, which fills me with joy every time I think about it. I dearly hope it happens so that I can see them more often and spend time with them. Another thing that happened in my family is that my mom ran out of money. After her divorce from my father, he gave her half of the money he had, and she steadily burned through it over the course of a few years. She bought a house, a car, and many other things. Now, she is frantically trying to sell her house so she can get those funds back. It's extremely stressful. I am angry at her for getting herself into this situation. I also feel sorry for her, that she has filled the hole in her heart with material things. Also, I love her, and I want to help more than I am. But my financial situation is not the best right now, either. I just graduated from grad school and I start my new job tomorrow. I am hopeful I'll be able to help her out financially. Last, but not least, my grandfather passed away in June. It feels strange, surreal. We couldn't travel to Minnesota to be with my grandmother and to honor his memory because of COVID. So it kind of feels like it actually hasn't happened. It's... weird. It almost feels like it happened on an alternate timeline. I miss him, though.
I turned 35. It didn't affect me at all. I'm 35 now. Okay. E has had more milestones than I can track. I already wrote about the joy I feel watching her learn her body and the world around her. Tonight she put broccoli to her lips. She doesn't really know what to do with food, though. Right now is just for playing.
Papa Herbie passed away and Philip has his surgery
Clara reached double digits - turned 10 in quarantine. Spending every single day with these kids going on 6 months now really shows how they are growing up before my eyes.
Like this isn’t a milestone in a good way, but Grandpa Bernie died which like we all die so I guess that’s a milestone? I don’t think any of us are over it or have figured out how to cope. The whole world is so bad we’re not even able to focus our attention on grieving as much as we should, or at least I haven’t. But I miss him, and it makes me anxious that all my older loved ones will die soon too. I miss how he would be so stubborn and passionate about what he cared about, even if we didn’t agree. His smile was just really infectious. And I miss how he always had such faith in me to make the world better. I hope I can live up to that faith, in his honor. And I hope that once it’s safe we can host a huge memorial in celebration of his life and we can gather together for the unveiling.
I'm very proud to see my son begin to step into adulthood.
Again, baby. Right now I am feeling tired. So that's how it's affecting me. But we also had a lot of major milestones: 1. baby. 2. I started at UCLA Anderson 3. Scotty got a new job 4. Dave is retiring! 5. Tiff graduated as a DPT and started a real job! That's a lot. I think I'm mostly just overwhelmed. Excited to see how I feel next year. This year is a lot of really great things, but they're all scary too.
First granddaughter graduated from high school, remotely. I couldn’t be there. The first major life event in her life without my late husband. It was a strange mix of grief and joy. I still haven’t seen her to give her a big hug.
my father died on August 22nd... It hasn't been a month yet, and my life feels completely different... Not having him everyday to talk with, not being able to see him, to listen to his advice, to his silly jikes, to his insight on so many topics.... Seeing my mother so alone.... I am the youngest of 5 brothers and sisters, and I feel I was the closest one with him. I knew everything about him, and was his hand on our company.... I am now left alone to deal with so many topics... Work, private, family... I feel lonely, overwhelmed, worried...
Had to change the way I do business because of covid. Also changed family life.
Dad turned 80. He specifically said that it wasn’t a big deal to him. But it is a big deal to me. Tracy and I were both sick with what we think was COVID-19 during my birthday and dad’s, so we made even less of a big deal of it than usual. He came over, stayed far away, and opened presents from us. We kept saying that we would do the real celebration when Tracy and I were well, but then we went into quarantine. So it still hasn’t happened. As soon as COVID-19 is over, though, we must really celebrate dad’s 80th birthday.
There were several. My oldest granddaughter graduated from UCI in 3 years instead of 4. My daughter gave birth to her second child. I retired from the workforce. For all of which, I am deeply grateful. Any of them happening in 2020 would have been a special trial. I'm grateful.
My wife, Lisa, turned 50 years old on May 29. In acknowledgement of our advancing ages, we have lowered our carb intake and have stepped up our workout regimens ever since the COVID shutdown. So neither of us “feel” old. That said, I try not to take her reaching 50 for granted. My aunt, Linda, never reached 50. Leukemia ended her life on 1/23/92.
I may have to retire the grand boys' swimming skills as a "milestone," because their skills this Summer have been exceptional! They're confident & playful in the water. Karen continues to be productive, and her new pieces are quite spectacular. They're ready to hang at TAG this Fall, though how open to the public (beyond just by appointment) remains to be seen. I was very happy with my work last Fall in "Lend Me a Tenor," so it was a fulfilling year.
Getting the school to finally start the ball rolling on helping my child is wonderful, hopefully its not to late with less than two years left. This milestone only gives me a hollow hope tbough.
All three of my children turned 21. It moves our relationship to the next stage.
We've been social distancing and staying home for more than six months now due to the pandemic. It's been hard a lot of days but we're working through it. My marriage is stronger than it's ever been, my mother is driving me nuts though, and my child seems to be her usual resilient self who takes everything in stride. I think we're all just tired of the lack of action. If the government would have just paid us all to stay home for six weeks while they implemented mass testing and contact tracing like other countries this would all be over. But they're stupid. The government is fucking stupid.
The Hubster and I celebrated our 51st wedding anniversary! We are grateful for so many wonderful years together but starting to think about how many more we will have together. I think it has drawn us even closer and it makes each day special!
Getting pregnant, I guess! My body is definitely changing which feels milestone-esque, even though I'm not really showing. And Andrew moved to Denver, is reimagining what he wants his life to look like and making those dreams come true, and I'm really proud of him for that.
My son lost his first teeth. Time is marching on. He's getting bigger and older and more his own person. My wife and I have to learn to keep space/time for ourselves, while still providing support to our son and also encouraging him to find and use his own space/time.
My mother died of Covid on May 5. It was like clockwork: I got the notice from the nursing home that there had been an exposure in early April. Two weeks later, she woke up with a slight fever and told the nurse to call her parents because they'd be wondering why she hadn't come home. A level of fuzziness totally out of character. And two weeks after that, she died. I have a hard time regretting her death. I think she knew this would be her last year on earth. When I visited in January, she gave me a gift and joked that "this will be your last Christmas present"--meaning, I assumed, both for the year and forever from her. They barred outside visitors, including her beloved personal assistant, sometime in April. She was pretty much confined to a small room. Her response was to disengage. I can't imagine six more months of that for her. But we had a sparsely attended burial, no funeral, no ceremony. Mother was all about ceremony, and not being able to provide that for her is hard. For a few months we said there would be a gathering "later," but we aren't even saying that anymore.
My oldest graduated from middle school and started socially distanced high school. It barely feels like it happened because we were unable to ritualize it with other people. I'm sad that she's unable to spread her wings b/c of our current reality. At her age I had such urgency around growing up and getting away from my own mother. I hope she's not feeling the latter but suspect that she often is because she isolates in her room with the dog or picks fights with us, ok mostly with me, over nothing. I don't like feeling pushed away, but I'm trying to give her space. And I hope that things will normalize and she'll be able to grow into some real independence, and not just the negativity that's overflowing from her frustrated loneliness.
My beautiful nephew Connor was born in February. He is the most handsome, silliest, happiest baby I've ever seen. Such a sweet little soul. When I knew my brother and sister-in-law were expecting, I felt this urge to get myself together to be the awesome aunt I've always wanted to be. I'm already an aunt (I have a nephew and a niece), and I don't know why this impending birth and arrival changed me, but it did. It's also been really hard because I was supposed to fly back to meet him in April, and that obviously didn't happen. I'm missing the first year of his life, at least. I keep reminding myself that I'm doing this so we can both be there to appreciate and enjoy the rest of it, but it's still hard to miss this fun, goofy boy's baby times.
Our lost his job, then the pandemic hit and he moved home and sheltered in place with us for 6 months during which time he got an even better job. It has been the gift of COVID! We loved getting to have him live and share his life with us again after so many years on his own
Bryan graduated from college, and I started my final year working in the schools before retirement. It was devastating that we could not celebrate Bryan's achievements with him. I know, in the grand scheme of things, attending a graduation ceremony and launch party for the podcast are small potatoes. We're all healthy (puh, puh, puh) and safe, but still... It was a major milestone, and all I could do was send some balloons and watch a meaningless ceremony on zoom. I am so sad. I don't know when we will be able to see him again. When can we celebrate him? When can he revel in his accomplishment. It sucks.
Well, the obvious answer is my husband's heart attack and subsequent surgery. I realize now that all my answers this year seem to come back to this moment. How has it effected me? It was life altering. Watching him almost die and then not, riding in the ambulance, the surgery and his recovery increased my anxiety. It also made me realize I'm strong and capable and can buckle down and do what needs to be done when I need to. It made me become more organized in doing things in our house and got us out of the habit of eating out regularly and cooking dinner most every night. All of the changes helped prep me (us) for the upcoming pandemic, which we obviously wasn't something we'd expected or planned for.
The joy of being an expectant grandparent for the 1st and 2nd time is unique and wonderful
Baby two is sleeping truth the night consistently and sharing a room with baby one! The literal fear of night time and thoughts like went even bother getting in bed are gone, it is a huge weight off my shoulders.
My mother-in-law a month into the Covid-19 pandemic. The last 2 weeks of her life she had no family or friends visiting. She has another stroke and she realized she was dying alone which was her worst fear. Because of my position in healthcare, I was able to arrange her to be moved to an isolated area near a door and the staff allowed my father in law, her daughter and my spouse to visit 4 hours a day. My spouse has tremendous grief because our family had promised her we wouldn’t leave her at the end. We have understood the realities of this global charge of priorities/protocols as the year has unfolded, but 2 weeks in no understood. We could not have the burial rituals, funeral, etc which has exacerbated the grief. We find small mitzvahs to alleviate our grief when it returns, but it’s still difficult.
We spent a full year outside of the US. We didn't intend to but because of Coronavirus we had to. I feel very worried about my mom and very worried about how we will survive over the next few years. In a way, this also makes me the third generation of refugees in my family, which isn't a great feeling.
I think the major milestone from this past year has to be May 26, my 1 year wedding anniversary. My wife and I celebrated by hiking into the woods and doing the 36 questions to fall in love. My marriage makes me very happy. I just read about how on Kol Nidre, we are all the Avaryonim, incomplete without each other. I can't imagine life without my partner. She makes me better - more thoughtful, more empathetic, more caring. I feel so lucky to have her in my life, and I'm excited for all that our partnership has in store ahead of us.
My beloved aunt turned 100. Our small family had a plan to be with her that could not happen, which I felt so sad about. However we all spoke to her on her birthday and she mostly knew who we were.
Being together through the pandemic has been one big mile stone. Taking care of our house, getting a pool, focusing in word.
Our major milestone has been placing an aging parent in care. It has certainly made me face my own mortality. It has made me incredibly sad and worried, family disagreements have made me feel good deals of rage, I have compassion for my husband and his sister. Helplessness during the coronavirus was the overall reigning emotion. I am very grateful too, though--for his life and example, for his having some funds to enable professional care, for the medical teams who have treated him and for our having been able to move to Austin where he lives so we can be boots on the ground.
Losing my dad is the most major event I can even EVER imagine. I've lost my "job" taking care of him. And I've lost all that he was. His kindness, his creativity, his honesty, his gentleness. I miss him so much. I was so lucky my mother found him. I want to go back to France and the places we lived where I was so happy.
I became engaged to my best friend. After 10 years of friendship and 1.5 years of dating we are going to be married! It's really made me feel like we've come full circle. I feel excited, but also secure. To be able to have my best friend as my partner is so satisfying and makes our new normal a steady constant.
My brother stopped communicating with me. I went home just before Covid hot and had a disastrous visit with him. He hadn't told me he was not working and doing therapy and attacked me for living in China. A fight with my parents followed soon after. I had to be very firm: I will not come home again if I get screamed at. It was horrible. The bond with my sister is easy and good. I'm having a good conversation with my parents again. Not with my brother. I sent flowers for his birthday and got a painfully polite thank you message. It is what it is.
My dad died. It made me think about my own inevitable death - & my present life - and how I want it to be remembered by the ones I love.
Cher stopped immunotherapy 7 months ago after two years of treatment and both of her scans thus far have been "no evidence of disease". I'm so pleased and yet I fear the next scan and the one after that. I pray every day that she and I live a long life together. But of course, there are no guarantees - right? I mean I could drop dead tomorrow of a stroke or heart attack. So I hope, pray and try to take good care of myself and her.
Getting closer to Grammy and M this year was big. I call Grammy (or try to) at least once a week and I feel like I get affirmation from her and some sense of reassurance from how proud she is of me. I don't really get that anywhere else in my family. The rest are proud of me because I'm their kid, which is valuable in and of itself, but something about having deep conversations with Grammy and really having someone that wants to hear my opinions all the way through means a lot to me. With M, its pretty different but still is special. She doesn't talk to my mom a lot and I think there is so much miscommunication there but she gave me a lot of family recipes lately and I've been able to connect to her with cooking like I've never been able to connect to her with anything else in my life. I also like feeling Italian. That's cool. I think a lot of my relationships with both of them is pity because they're old and don't have great relationships or none with either of my parents, but I never had a big family so I like feeling more supported or something. Kinda hard to explain. I also think I want to understand them both before it's too late, you know? Also mom going back to school was big. It brought out a lot of bad things in her in terms of stress, but I think over all made us closer. And made me feel old. I'm really happy for her and I think it's really inspiring that she's going back to school. It's put more pressure on me but her going to school is really big and I want her to be successful.
My personal major milestone was being the first of my generation, in my immediate and extended family, to get engaged. This feels like such a fun and exciting one! No wedding plans yet due to the pandemic, but I am excited to embark upon homeownership later this week. I feel like I’m adulting hard and it’s actually pretty fun and not too scary because I feel loved and well supported. Oh, as the oldest of the generation, I was also the first to get my own dog! What a huge blessing ¨̮ A more somber family milestone is my grandmother’s health. As our matriarch, I think this is heartbreaking for all of us. I have admittedly been very limited in allowing myself space for sadness and anticipatory grief. If i’m being honest, it has affected me such that I have begun to distance myself a bit emotionally. I feel like once the pandemic started I was unable to get visit and that has slowly encroached on reduced frequency of phone calls, down from daily to a few times a week. The calls are longer though !
This past year my family is also experiencing the pandemic. I lost my uncle to a stroke and ultimately COVID-19 it was very unexpected and upsetting but I feel numb to it all. Sometimes it frustrates me that I have not allowed myself to feel but I know that he is in a better place. Especially right now as the world needs to wake up to God’s promise and people need to rid themselves of hate and greed. We need more compassion and love for one another. Justice needs to be served equally and fairly. I pray that God heal the world and that the good people win this fight. People with genuine hearts see what’s wrong and help to change this world for the better. Myself included. I want to help change the world!
We grew through some family trauma, we haven’t had any raging out bursts! And my brothers both had two children Raelyn Carter
I keep coming back to the same 2 things: Kate got married and her dad died. Both have affected me. It was joyful to watch Kate marry. It was also sad. The event was something that I had looked forward to for so long; dreamed of for so long. Now it's over and fixed in my memories. They are buying a house; schedule to close in 7 days. I'm wondering what I have to look forward to. A trip to MX. A grandchild. Someone special for me. Maybe the first. Not so sure about the others. I sure wish the universe would surprise me.,
My parents chose not to travel to NYC, to see my show, because of COVID-19. Initially this pissed me off. Now I understand there concerns with their own mortality. One might say, I gained a greater empathy of them as individuals.
I am not sure we had any major milestones. Now (after a few minutes of writing) I recall the death of Richard. I guess it was not a major milestone for me but I wonder how it is now about 6 weeks after his death for Seth and Rachel. Do I have greater responsibilities as their sole remaining parent? Have to think about that. Could that be part of Seth's hyper response to my coming to California? Need to talk with him about that. Do I feel any loss around Richard's death? Really none and that is really sad. I have felt the loss of time with my children and grandchildren. I am so sad that I really do not know Louis at all.
No, no major milestone's. The only milestone has been Covid.. and how Covid has affected every single relationship. It's affected the way we view the world, the way we view our relationships.... it's turned everything on it's head. Doesn't mean it's all bad. but oh my. Surely looking at the world differently. The family has become disconnected. Whilst the globe might have become more of a village with travel.. Covid has shifted it back to vast distances... and questioning when we might see each other again.
The kids turned 3 I guess. Not sure I can think of another milestone. Well they’re talking more too - more conversational. Interesting. I discovered my children have brilliant senses of humour. That’s really good to know. I want to hold onto the fact that if life is dreadful then I hope they can find something to lighten it as needed.
My oldest daughter had a child in January. Her first child. I'm a Grandfather now. The sad thing is that our relationship hasnt gotten any better, in fact has gotten worse. I wasn't allowed to come view the new baby. How sad. I was hoping my relationship with my three daughters would improve especially after the divorce was final(2018). I was wrong, they got worse. None of them contact me for holidays birthdays or special events. I tried contacting but no responses. I am sad about all of this and I'm starting to believe it wont change. Not a good way to start off the year and now the Virus is here.
My parents separated, kind of. It has caused me so much turmoil, and it still is causing me a lot of anguish. I guess that whole thing of "you can't return home" is really true. I get really sad sometimes, wishing that I could go back to the times when I was a kid and things felt safe. It will never be that way again. It's kind of sad to find out your parents are sad people and have issues when you used to think they were superheroes. I want them to be happy, but it gives me too much anxiety and sadness to participate in their lives.
We are pregnant. :) I write this at 17 weeks and the big learnings that come to mind: - I am learning to surrender. My body will create this human, whether I fret about it or not. I am (slowly) gaining weight and my hormones are changing. I cry almost daily. It all feels like preparation for the ultimate surrender - birthing a human and keeping that human alive and well. - I'm growing closer to my mom. I realize that there aren't a lot of adult experiences that we share because my path has been so different than hers. She hasn't been able to play the role of advisor because, aside from marriage, there aren't a lot of roles that we've shared. But now - we do. Our phone calls are becoming video calls and everything feels much more open and fluid in communicating with her. It's really beautiful. - Thank God for my husband. Like, every day, thank God that I married him and that he is the one I get to embark on this journey with. He is the ultimate ideal support system and caretaker and partner and sounding board. I didn't think I could love him more. But I do.
My brother got married. I was sad for him because I don’t have any examples of happy marriages.
This year, our family moved apartments. The kids each have their own rooms, we have much more space, an additional half bathroom, and outdoor space. It's been very mixed - because of the pandemic, we haven't been able to explore our new neighborhood. We were able to spend some of our working from home quarantine time at the pool. Being half-packed while also home 100% of the time is very hard.
Dad seems to be acting older, and he and mum are both talking more about dying. I'm not ready for that.
My daughter graduated from 6th grade, and we said goodbye to all of our classmates and teachers over Zoom. My son still has three more years at our elementary school, but it was bittersweet sending off the 6th graders with such cobbled together, detached fanfare. I was a room parent so I put a lot of effort and time into planning a virtual celebration for the class, which was fun but also draining. In the end, I think the kids felt appropriately celebrated, but they all seemed a little sad not to get to participate in the graduation traditions that they had looked forward to for years.
My brother graduated elementary school. It was underwhelming because of covid
I am now more relaxed, more comfortable, and clear.
No major milestones. But. we had a mini family reunion in Manhattan last winter which was very nice. Howard and I stayed at the Manhattan Club with Iris and Pat for 4-5 nights, we spent some time with Eric (including seeing him perform at an open mike night), and Morty joined us all for dinner one night. It is rare that we get together with my side of the family in any numbers, and so this was lovely.
My illness was the major milestone, vision, teeth, sinuses, brain almost blown. It changed me in many ways I’m sure I don’t know all of yet.
It seems like we've regressed in terms of milestones instead of moved forward. This year, everyone moved back home due to the virus. My parents were almost empty-nesters, planning to move into a small apartment and travel the world together, enjoying their early fifties and congratulating each other on the long game of having children early so they could see them all off to college and still have energy to live lives independent of grandparent-ship. But instead, in March, everyone moved back home: 25-year-old me, 23-year-old Tess, 21-year-old Cricket, and 19-year-old TJ. Being together again certainly has/had its perks, as we never expected to cohabitate ever again. We all got to show off our cooking, our communication, our "adulting skills." But we also all started to act like our teenage selves again. Do you know how weird it is to be 25--to have paid your own bills and taxes, to have enjoyed a robust social life, to have had all your choices available to you--and then to move back home to your childhood house, in your childhood twin-size bed, unable to see any friends or even leave the neighborhood? I feel more and more 16 every day, and not in the fun way.
There is the milestone that wasn't: my daughter's bat mitzvah didn't happen because of the pandemic. The whole family was going to gather, including several elderly and infirm relatives who were planning on making the trip. It saddens me to think that by the time we are able to do it in person, they may not all be able to be there. But I also hope/expect that it will be unbelievably beautiful to see everyone when it does happen, and that I will appreciate them in a way I never did before.
My grandfather is losing touch with reality. He doesn't remember family members and he gets confused about where he lives and who he lives with. When I talk to him, it's pretty obvious that he doesn't always know who we are or what we want from him. He gets frustrated. I worry that his condition will get worse, or that he'll pass away soon. But I'm not there, my mom and dad are taking care of him. I'm glad I'm not faced with his dementia every day, and I feel guilty that I'm not there to help.
My uncle, my mom's brother, passed away last October. I've never seen my mom fall apart so gravely. I honestly felt abandoned by her because I was secretly struggling with a severe eating disorder. I tried telling her, but she just brushed it off and didn't take me seriously. I kind of resented her for that and resented my uncle as well not only for dying but for all of the bad things he's done. In the end, I had to take care of my mom, watch her break down and cry, while I was suffering on my own in silence, so I turned to someone else who ended up hurting me in the end. Whatever. I've somewhat learned to forgive my mom, and I've learned to move on by not relying on her on an emotional level.
When I think of my family, I guess I mostly think of my husband and not my biological family. But I don't really want to talk about my husband's betrayal in every question! Still, it's the only "major milestone" with my family from the past year.
My husband turned 90 in February and we had a big party just before the Pandemic Shutdown! I was so happy that we were able to pull it off. It was so much fun and my husband was so pleased with it. His son and wife and daughter came in from out of town which made the night!
Closest thing to a major milestone is our kid finally passing his depression and becoming happy and functional, in turn making us happy.
Martha doing to pre-school, Martha living with us for 3 months. Martha riding her bike. Martha eating a wider array of foods. Martha playing interactively Martha’s growth and development has been the most significant event this year. We are all engaged with her and finding much delight in her becoming, in her joy in living. It especially touches Naomi, Holly and Me a and delights her great grandmother and her cousin Sarah
Major milestone for my family has been the addition of our new kitten, Puck. Getting another pet was something we would play around with, but never really fully committed to the idea because all is well in our kingdom. No need to make changes. Then all of a sudden a sphynx friend on FB mentioned that the breeder she goes to was having a new litter of bambinos (dwarf sphynxes)... and that was the end of that! Per usual, we got last pick and someone had already backed out. That seems to be our MO with sphynx adoption. Admittedly the sphynxes are mostly Kiki's thing, but for me, this has just been added joy. Puck is total hilarity and brings us non-stop entertainment. Once I realized he will take many headers off the counter without getting hurt, I stopped hovering. Now I just kick back and watch this freak of nature. After only a short time, all of our beasts (we call 4/4) were getting along like Puck had always been there. The only challenge was Avalon who is primarily my responsibility. She's not aggressive, but does get territorial with areas she considers her space toys she considers hers. So with a bit of repetition, she's backing off and they're actually having a blast, wrestling and playing. I can't say there's some deep lesson in all this. Maybe just that more is always better when it comes to pets :). We have a lot of love and attention to give to our beasts.
My granddaughter was born. When I first heard my daughter-in-law was pregnant, I was shocked. I had no idea they would have children. Then slowly, I got used to the idea. Then I got excited. In the month before she was born, I kept telling people she would be born around my mother's birthday. Then I kept correcting myself, because my son had said the due date was late August. The baby was born 6 days before my mother's birthday. I have been loving this baby every step of the way.
the major milestone for our family other than the difficult restraints of the Virus, is the fact that our son Isaac had a little girl (who we have not seen yet) and my daughter in Australia is pregnant and expecting in Jan 2021 ... not even sure if we will be able to get to australia
Nan quit FPS and got a job with hospice as the pandemic started. We were very lucky, it would have been so hard if she was still at FPS. But her new job is stressful. It's the biggest change of the past year, aside from all of the adjustments due to the pandemic. A big change is coming with Rachel coming home, but that's for next year! Also Nathan got his LCSW, that's a big deal.
My sister had a baby. It was the first new baby in our family for 4 years and exciting. But challenging because it was in May at the height of Covid numbers. Even though his birth as a pandemic baby caused additional stress, he’s a happy little guy. I was so thrilled to actually be able to meet him since travel was also so challenging and wrought with anxiety. It also made me think about whether my own little family will be able to add another one in the next couple years. At 42 years old, my biological clock isn’t just ticking, it’s about to stop.
Well, I missed all three of my kids' birthdays (one of which ended in an "0") and my mom's birthday -- and my s.o.'s birthday ending in an "0" is coming up and we're going to have to scale that down to just him and me. So, thanks anti-maskers. Okay, not totally their fault. The good news, which must be repeated below, is that we're either zooming weekly (my 3 boys and I) or playing scrabble with zoom weekly (my mom and brothers and I). I'm a-okay as long as everyone stays safe. I can stay home, not have parties, miss my kids on their significant birthdays -- whatever -- as long as everyone survives. Anxiety hits in waves.
My younger brother and sister dying of cancer this Spring. Luckily, in their own homes, prepared and on their own terms, with loved ones nearby When I was pregnant with my children, I was 'eating for two'. Now I feel I'm 'living for three', and no longer have the option of not living life to the fullest.
Our dog of 18 years died and I said I won't get another dog. Then my daughter said she wanted a puppy. She is grown but lives with us as she is finishing graduate school. So she got a puppy. We have really gotten into trying to train him. He has really helped my daughter feel less isolated and alone. And even though he gets wild and nippy, I already love him a lot. We hope we will be able to train him not to nip and chew up the house.
Nancy being born. More joy. More family. Miss her - more staying at home due to pandemic.
My wife turned 60 on March 15th. 1 day prior to quarantine. We were all trying to figure out whether to shake hands and social distance at her party or not. The next day, we woke up to find we were both told to start working from home.
We found a stray kitten on Aug. 26. I know I already talked about her on Day 1, but finding her has been the most miraculous, significant event in our family. She has made me start to come back to life after a depression, and she has brought new laughter to our house. Oh! Also, our nephew moved in with us during the spring. That has changed the dynamic of our household as well, particularly since the quarantine.
I turned 40. Is that a milestone? And Jacob started (a hybrid version of) middle school. In some ways, I forget that I'm 40 with a middle schooler, so I'm not sure that these milestones affected me as much as the pandemic.....which has affected everyone.
Major milestone was loss of spouse. Tremendously difficult. Depression & anxiety affecting all family members. Financial difficulties. Difficulty performing work tasks. Division among family members.
My father has published his first book of poems, at 81. I am thrilled that he has had this validation for his work!
I feel like I've really become Katie's aunt, in a way I wasn't before this year, since I got to stay in NB for a week last winter. I just spent so little time with her when she was a baby and a toddler (CJ did a great job of avoiding our parents, and keeping them a minor presence in Katie's life, which was definitely the right decision but also meant that I got avoided too). So she really didn't know me outside of books and stories. But this year, we actually got to spend some time together - we watched the shows she likes, we talked, we played games, she got to show me her toys - and now she knows me as a person (and a person she likes!) She sends me crafts, she asks to talk to me on the phone, and I'm really proud of the role I'm getting to play in her life. I'm hoping I can be as good a "trusted adult" to her as CJ always was to me, just as much as I hope she'll never need me to fill that role in the same way.
My middle kid turned 16? My eldest finished his first year of college from home because of the pandemic? My youngest finishing 8th grade and ending the era of Montessori education? My mother-in-law's stroke and subsequent rehab? Moving to a new home? Starting to date? This year has been packed with one milestone after another. Frankly, it's got us all reeling and retreating into our own forms of comfort, which, fortunately--given the pandemic--seems to be found in the form of lots of television and video games. I'm waiting for normal to return, when I can finish reading a book that I start, when I can write again. I am unmoored and hoping to drift back to shore.
Much of my family became estranged from me this year. I took in a young homeless man as a renter and this caused an uproar. Without even meeting him, they advised me that I'd made a mistake and when I asked that he share part of a holiday event, I was refused. I declined to attend and was called selfish and stupid. I was not putting him in front of family, but, rather, asserting that I have the right to make decisions, to live my life as I choose. Only my youngest daughter , my son and another granddaughter and her fiancé have been supportive. I have not had any sort of contact with the others since December. I have experienced many emotions over this. At first I was heartbroken and shocked that it could come to this. Then I was angry at the narrow minded judgement of those whom I'd been so close to. Now I have moved on. Sometimes, I feel a little sad. There are young children and a newborn baby...great grandchildren. I saw pictures of the newborn on Facebook. At this point, I'm going to move forward with my life. I'm blessed to have a full life with many friends and other loving family members.
I had one of my best birthdays ever. A dear friend I don’t see often flew in from out of town to celebrate with me, in addition to several other friends taking me out on surrounding days. It made me feel loved, wanted and seen, since birthdays are important to me and I usually either spend them alone or have to make the arrangements for a gathering myself.
I would put my mom's new love affair with an old flame from 47 years ago on top of the list of major milestones. Suddenly she's paired and happy and has lost over 50lbs all for her 80th birthday. I feel grateful and giggly and glad that in midst of quarantine and social isolation this call from the past bloomed into a whole new garden of delights.
Dave and Elizabeth both planned their weddings for this year, and both became something very different than anyone expected. We watched Dave’s wedding on tv from home. Liz will have her friends party together, and we’ll just send gifts and good wishes. Will the pandemic change wedding traditions permanently? Can they finally stop being more expensive than a house?
I don't think there has been any major milestones that happen with my family this year. I don't think this had very affect on me. I am not exactly in the loop with what is going on.
My cousin got married in February, and my whole family attended the wedding. The wedding itself was a blast, but the weekend was truly spectacular. It was wonderful to have all my cousins in one place, celebrating life. Keeping this memory in heart has really sustained me through the pandemic, because this was the last time I saw my family. I don't know when I'll be able to see them again. I am so unbelievably grateful that we had this event together.
Dad turned 80 in March and we had a very small family gathering rather than a big celebration. Mom turns 80 in October but we won’t be able to celebrate since she lives so far away and there is concern about the virus. I’m sad we can’t gather to celebrate. Another big change in the last year is that all 3 kids moved, and we did also. Many changes. We hope that closing happens without a problem later this week.
Mmmh..... The major milestone of last year must be... Our move to Yautepec.. And the deterioration of my mother's health
All of my adult children are moving forward in their lives in very positive ways— relationships, raising families, performing in exemplary ways in their work, housing. These may be small milestones but it’s thrilling to see them “adulting” and being the kind of people I’d hope they would be.
We finally got back to each other again. My dad came back to us and it feels like we’ve had him back again. I’ve really missed him so much. I missed giving him hugs and being his daughter. I feel like a big piece of my soul is being satisfied.
My son is starting university. It has impacted me as I just moved back to London.
We finally got a dog! We have been talking about getting a dog for such a long time. We felt that we/our lifestyles weren't ready for one and so opted to spend our time looking after all of our neighbour's dogs. But at the end of last year, we began the process of finding and applying for a rescue dog. We found him, got approved and he was supposed to arrive from Hungary to us at the end of April. Due to lockdown and all borders closing, this was no longer possible and we had to wait until an unknown date. Luckily, as soon as borders opened, he was on his way to us! Hugo arrived 3 months ago and it has given us some of the best and the most challenging moments. We would have it no other way. We are so lucky to have him, he is all that we wanted and more. I feel grateful that he has come into our lives to help us and us him. He's also bloody adorable and super clever.
My 97 yr. old aunt celebrated her birthday on Zoom. It was my 1st Zoom birthday party. I attended her 95th in person 2 yrs. ago flying across the country to do so. I didn't think she would last another 2 yrs., & I thought her 95th was the last I would attend. Thanks to Zoom, I attended her 97th & didn't have to travel when I couldn't if I wanted to due to pandemic. Who knew?
I tried to think of something less recent, but the obvious answer is that my sister moved out to college and I moved out to graduate school. I hope my parents are having a good time and doing activities that they neglected in the 21 years of watching over us. I'm definitely actively making sure we all stay in touch as I kind of got the impressions I'm one of the more talkable ones in the group. Moving out has been really great, but the uncertainty of the pandemic means I'm not really sure when I can see anyone. Because it's taken longer to meet the people in my program, I've been leaning more on old relationships, including them.
My youngest daughter went to university – this was huge in an unexpected way. While I was thrilled at her fledgling independence, I was very conscious of suddenly living alone. I felt like, "Hey, where has everybody gone?" It was a huge reminder of how much I had given over of myself, in order to do what I felt I needed to do, as a parent. And after a while – a month, maybe two – I remembered how much I loved living alone, how fertile solitude is, and that I wasn't "left behind"at all, but had my own new living to do.
I cannot think of a milestone that has happened. It has been mostly uneventful.
My nephew had a baby, and now I am a great aunt. And I am really happy to be, only I couldn't see him in person.
Life has been put so much on hold. I haven't celebrated a birthday, even, and everyone except Claire has had one this year. I think Claire and I did something for our anniversary, but I honestly can't remember... The show we planned to see was cancelled.
My sister bought a house!!! And got a dog!!! and another dog!!! Yay!!! I ache to be with my family, and being home to be present for the milestone of them getting a house and getting a puppy feels heart achy. It has reaffirmed for me that activity focused time with my sister is probably the fastest path to tshuvah for us, and that not being there means I have to work harder for that and/or accept it won't quite change until I'm there. It is a loss I didn't realize viscerally that I lost until I was there for a month, and now I realize I want to spend at least part of my life with in person family time with my warm and wonderful family (not devoid of problems and stress, but wonderful and warm and accepting and loving and it FEELS good, especially to spend time with my parents). Also Mic coming to visit was important for our relationship! Reminded me that he's an adult and can make friends (yay for his friendship with Zach) and that I don't have to be in a parenting relationship with him- it's much better if I'm not.
My nephew was born in May 2020 and he has brought so much happiness to our family in the stress of COVID. I just love looking at videos and pictures of him. They truly bring me into the present moment without fears and worries about the future or what's going to happen with the pandemic.
We had a baby! I feel like I always end up talking about him during these answers, but he's such an incredible gift and blessing that it is hard not to. He's also changed our life so dramatically that it feels like he does relate to nearly everything. It has affected us by forcing a major refocus of priorities and levels of gratitude. It has allowed us to so the positives of so many things that we used to just kind of complain about. It also ate up much of our free time so now any time we just get to sit and watch Netflix we feel spoiled. He also helps us enjoy each and every day. We love him tremendously.
Our daughter turned 3 which was pretty huge. It's presented a lot more challenges because she's got such a strong personality and very determined to do what she wants most of the time, so I'm still trying to figure out how to guide her to make good choices and use better language that won't undermine her self esteem.
I earned my ASHA C's - a five-year journey! We're only about 3 weeks into work this year and being a fully-licensed SLP makes me feel a sense of confidence and presence that I lacked (and felt the lack of) in the past. I still have so much to learn, but it's good to feel like I have a full and legitimate seat at the table.
Uncle Steve's passing is what comes to mind. It's strange because I haven't totally processed it since I was not at the funeral or hugged my Dad it been there for him in his mourning. I think it effects him but I don't really know. It's changed the way my parents need to act during corona times - meeting with the bank and service providers, cleaning out the apartment, etc. It's all surreal and sad in an anticlimactic way, which is the strange part.
For better or for worse there haven't really been any family milestones this year. I did become closer with my aunt when I lived with her and my uncle for about 6 months when I first moved back to BC though and that was nice.
We have a new grandchild. She is a joy! Another human to watch developing and to love.
A major milestone was Theo and I adopting our rescue dog, Macy. This has affected us both in deeply profound ways we did not expect. We knew we wanted to get a dog upon moving to Portland, but didn’t plan on a pandemic (obviously) so our choice to get still her was one that was fraught from the get-go. It was my insistence on adopting that allowed us to bring her home, even though I knew in my heart of hearts Theo wasn’t ready. I also felt that he could adapt and get into the right mindset to take care of her. That has been and remains a struggle. She has been a fearful, anxious, and sometimes frustrating pet (especially for Theo, whom she is still very afraid of). But she has also been so sweet, trusting, curious, and playful with us, especially me. She is teaching us both so much about our parenting and conflict resolution skills. She is teaching Theo a LOT about his anger issues and subsequent anger management skills, which on the flip side teaches me about these issues of Theo’s. We have learned so much about each other in the growing pains of adapting our life to a dog’s needs. We’ve also made our little family unit up here, one which will only continue to grow (God willing). We’ve only had Macy for four months, so I know the effects of having her will only continue to develop!
my grandmother's death was a major milestone in my family. it was gut wrenching and it was the last tie to ecuador that i really had. it made me realize that my relationship with my mom's family is far weaker than i originally perceived. it also made me realize that i irrationally prioritize work over seeing people and the world. no bueno. last year, i wrote about her 80th birthday and think back to the celebration our family had without my mom and us. sad.
Our dear mother passed away. There's just my sister and I but even though we knew she was 95 going to be 96 the next month we really didn't expect her to die so soon. She was holding her own. So my longevity is looking over my shoulder because I had my 70th birthday and had two 70 yr old friends pass away this summer from cancer. It sort of throws you into appreciating every single day.
My 26-year-old son is an E.M.T. in Manhattan. He lives in an apartment with three roommates. My husband and I were off-the-charts worried when Covid-19 was at its worst in NYC (and his crew didn't have anywhere near enough PPE), and although the situation has improved we're still very anxious. Even if he's hyper-scrupulous about coronavirus precautions, he's still at a huge risk. And we have no way of knowing how conscientious his roommates are. Although our son was a handful and a half as a pre-teen and an adolescent, since becoming an E.M.T. we've seen him make great strides in maturity and compassion. Despite all our concerns, we're now off-the-charts proud of him.
While not a personal milestone - COVID-19 has certainly affected my family. Spending so much time together has brought us closer I would say - living with my parents as an "adult" brought challenges but I was grateful for the time spend together.
I’m not sure if it’s this year or last, but my dad retired which has changed things a lot. Firstly it’s just nice to see him with more time, happier, more free to do what he wants (with some restrictions because of his dynamic with my mum). He bought a new car, started cycling and walking with friends and then bought a camper van. I spent two days in London with him recently, it was the best time I’ve had for a long time, I don’t think I’ve had a chance to spend time with just me and him. It felt precious and vital and memorable. I hope we get to do it again soon.
My partner and I made the decision to move to my parents' farm in the next year and work with them for some time. This was mostly due to my need to escape city air pollution which exacerbates my chronic illness, as well as our longing to be closer to nature. Before this year, I don't think it would have been possible for this move to occur; my relationships with my parents and my partner weren't shaped in a way that would allow it. Between my illness and the pandemic, though, many priorities have shifted for us all, and we have learned a lot about reevaluating situations and possibilities and becoming more flexible. I think this will change us all for the better.
My kid started first grade, and her independence and interest in being (and staying) at school helped me to see that it's time to stop being a full-time mom and to find a job in my field again. A year and a half ago I felt so stuck, and took a new job but couldn't focus on it. I felt like I wanted to be a SAHM despite my husband and I being on the path to divorce. I got fired from the job, because I couldn't do the work and still manage a full time parenting gig with a husband who regularly came home after 10 pm. But I'm still stuck because the pandemic has put our divorce plans on hold, I've had to be full-time mom again, and my husband hasn't been able to muster up the energy to take care of anything other than work. He was just laid off and I think he figures he has time to get the energy and motivation to look for another job. It's kind of put up or shut up time for both of us, yet I am about to embark on a year of homeschooling. I think how my kid starting school and clamoring for her independence have affected me is that they have given lie to the notion that I have to be completely available for her all the time. If I want to be working and earning enough to be self-sufficient, she will be okay. I have to make the sacrifice to spend more time away from her, and she will not feel it as a sacrifice as much.
I converted to Judaism on Purim. I feel closer to Adonai and physically/mentally stronger.
Moving to a new state to be near our daughter and son in law—it has been positive and we are relieved that we completed the move before covid
Our daughters wedding went off without a hitch. Our granddaughter graduated and started college and our daughter in-law finally got to join our son in Chicago. He is a captain in the Army and is stationed there. The affects on me are satisfying.
My daughter graduated from graduate school and I got to be with her, in spite of quarantine. She completed her coursework online, and the graduation was virtual. Her accomplishment takes my breath away. When she was born with complicated CHD medical professionals told us that she may never walk or talk or live through childhood. I am grateful for her continued survival.
There really haven't been any major milestones this year unless you count Corona and after enduring a 3 month period where I was unable to see or be with my family we have all been able to remain healthy and are able to be in each others company while maintaining a cautious attitude in the outside world waiting for a vaccine.
I got the courage to quit my teaching job at age 67, when so many are losing their jobs. I found a NEW one easily, teaching only 2 preps & Intro courses but 4 classes/ Then my old school talked me into 1 class and paid me well. Life is good. Working on paying off debt. Making good progress at this point. -- My husband's 14-yr-old truck "died" just this past week so we have to invest in a new vehicle. Haven't figured that out yet.
Adjusted to home/school/work life all being combined. It took some planning and some added expense to make everything work, but I think we have managed to adjust fairly well! We enjoy the extra time together, which is the best part!
Covid and Eric coming home fulltime. Eric impresses me with his interest in Journalism and writing. Xiao continues to work hard. I've some anxiety about her retirement and increased remarks to me.
My dad’s health has gone downhill. It is very stressful having to emotionally be there for my mother on the phone, not being able to talk to my father, and not being able to visit due to the pandemic.
Interestingly, there haven't been any major milestones in our immediate family this year. Last year there were several, but this year, with the COVID-19 lockdown, I have felt like we've been "on hold" all year waiting for life to get back to normal. In my extended family, my nephew welcomed his first child a few weeks ago, so that is one major milestone that I'm aware of, but not affected by much since we are not close.
My daughter moved back to this side of the country a year ago August. Having her just 90 minutes away (along with her endearing husband) has ushered in a new sweet way of life. Our ease and joy in being together (even with the limitations of Covid protocol) so naturally, so often, adds depth and such gratitude to life, ongoing.
We went on a family trip for the first time in a long time. We all met in Surfside SC. Our original plan was Destin Fl but COVID got in the way. My daughter Eliza had to fly and she did so bravely. Despite a bunch of adults with varying opinions and political views the week went very well. There were some heated words but for the most part it was pleasant! Very thankful for the beach vacay.
Other than the pandemic, we've weathered no major milestones. That feels a bit odd.
Realizing that I worked too many hours when my kids were young and now that they are grown feeling the pain that I missed so much of their lives
My daughter's IEP plan came up for its three year review, and as expected, the school rejected continuing it. On the one hand, this is a relief! No more IEP meetings, no reading up (again) on the difference between a 504 and an IEP, accommodations vs. modifications. But the main change was realizing how much she's progressed and how close she is to being a "typical" learner who may not need such fierce parental advocacy. We've worked hard, she's pushed her capacities, and it's a new world for all of us. Perhaps not coincidentally this occurred the same year that she's began preparing for her bat mitzvah. She is changing and growing, and my work as her mother is changing accordingly. I feel she is coming much closer to adulthood and have faith and trust that she will do well.
We celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. It was not anything like we planned but it was an incredible Zoom lovefest with family and friends. I have learned through this pandemic to look for silver linings and cherish the good stuff and not dwell on the “can’ts”
We have managed to live through and survive the covid pandemic, by keeping in touch and seeing each other regularly. As a single person living alone it helped me to use zoom and see my loved ones regularly. One major bonus for me was the success I had in selling my isolation paintings.
My sister moved to a different town, leaving me little reason to stay here other than my son. If I can get him to move, I'm leaving this damned state.
Me and my sister left the house, after spending several months there due to Covid. the experience was kind of a rollercoaster and I love my family a lot. I feel bad for hurting their feelings, but I feel so happy and grateful for spending time with them. I wonder how they feel. I hope they are well. I am happy to not be living with them, on my own instead. I hope that they are happy with their living situations.
For the past few years I don't think I really would have had an answer for this, but this year I do. A few months ago I was informed that my older brother's girlfriend is pregnant, so essentially, I'm going to be an uncle. How will this affect me? I was a little surprised to hear it, but overall I don't think this is something that will really affect my life for several years. My older brother and I are not exactly close, I don't think I've had any kind of lengthy conversation with him for a number of years. Along with that, I'm not the biggest fan of dealing with small children. From my younger cousins to any of my friends kids, when they're first born I don't want anything to do with them. Once they reach a couple of years old and I can actually play with them I'm fine with little kids, but as newborns I'm ok leaving them alone. I'm sure it would be different if it were my own kid, but I'm not exactly close to having one of my own any time soon.
Because of Covid, I was unable to travel to S. Korea for my daughter’s wedding... but her fiancé was stuck in Kenya and no one else could travel either. So I got to officiate at her wedding on Zoom — a three continent wedding!
My sister passed away. She was 11 months older than me with no health problems and passed suddenly of a blood clot. She was my best and only friend. We will never be the same..our hearts broke...my dad & her & I, we need each other badly. They are my life rafts, my light houses, my north stars. A new friend showed up taking the time to read my poetry and take us on kayaking adventures. When I’m alone I sing to her, or just try to forget the pain. I own 120 or 160 acres? of land and no one to share it with. I was supposed to build my house next to hers and grow old with her riding horses. Now I don’t know what to do.
I cannot believe my parents closed on a house without telling my brother and me. And it is a beautiful house, in the foothills northeast of the city. It is the kind of house I coveted when I visited high school friends' homes for birthdays and sleepovers. And now, now that the impossibility of visiting Mom and Dad in person makes me achy and gloomy, now they are living in the very object of my adolescent envy. How funny and ironic is time? And how petty teenage me?
I discussed death and wills with my dad and stepmother. This made me appreciate their presence in my life as truly fragile. It made me realize that I am probably more financially secure than I think.
Two come to mind. With my direct family, my sister starting a microgreen business during the pandemic. Starting a business in regular conditions is already tough, but even in these trying times, she pushed ahead and has already had a good amount of success. In the extended family, my cousin got married just a few weeks ago. Originally, they planned a big wedding with all friends and family scheduled to be in attendance. Obviously, that didn't happen. They were originally going to postpone it until possibly 2021, but they eventually decided they didn't want to wait. What they ended up doing instead is having the wedding in his parent's backyard, with only immediate family members in attendance; and streaming the wedding on Facebook. I would've preferred to be there in person, but understood given the circumstances, that couldn't happen. I was still happy I could see their special day (even if it was virtually).
Dad officially can't walk, or take care of himself. It has raised questions, and some fear I didn't think would arrive this early. And brought home to me the importance of taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally, socially. I'm seeing that my presence, no matter how overlooked, invisible, or ineffective I might feel, does have an impact - and it's up to me to cultivate what that is.
Phillip and Jordan stopped talking to me. I think that they have not gone to shul. Maureen moved to New Hampshire. Only Rebecca, Jacob and Sammy thank me. I am saddened about Phillip and Jordan. Thank God, I am told that the family is healthy.
Juliane’s confirmation- seeing my baby as a woman for the first time! Lovely to have a sense that we did something right... that this you g woman is on the way out into the world and will rock it. Pride and gratitude!
My grandfather died last November. With that, the total number of people in my immediate branch of my maternal family is down to 2 - my uncle and myself. It was hard enough to be the matriarch at 36 years old, having lost my mother and grandmother in a single year, but to be one of the only 2 remaining at 39 was a huge jolt. The people who remember the little things from my childhood are very few now. My uncle wasn't around until I was much older, and my dad's family was never as close with me. It's feeling a little lonelier these days...
Nothing dramatic or traumatic happened.
The greatest and only thing that has happened with me is completing my doctorate. I was glad for the extra time away from work in the spring to get it done without stress. I'm very proud of myself for having finished it. It hasn't really affected me that much except that some people now call me doctor and I got a bit of a raise.
It was the 60th anniversary of my Bar Mitzvah. I undertook (re)-learning part of my Torah portion and learned a Parshah! I was so excited. I w a s R e a d y! And then the pandemic shut down everything, we did not have Zoom yet, so I missed my 60th celebration
Sandi turned 70 in late June and instead of going to Hawaii with the family we wound up in San Diego due to the pandemic as Hawaii is closed and virtually no one is flying. Turned out to be a great trip. Husband and wife are in their 70’s and everything we’ve strived is reaping rewards. Sure we care for a severely disabled child but we have the resources to make it a good life. Two other stable boys with great mates and GRANDKIDS! It’s been worth the journey and I’m grateful with all the issues we’ve had to be in a good place right now.
I wouldn't call it a milestone, but an event. My wife was diagnosed with cancer in its early stages. We have good insurance and went to Mayo Clinic for treatment. She has been declared cancer free and didn't have to have chemo or radiation. But for the next two years she has to six months cancer screenings as the type of cancer she had could reappear. Makes you think about your life, what you have done, what you want to do, and the end of the journey.
My dad and I started our garden together. I dug a 9x5 foot plot six feet deep for all our tomato plants. Additionally, we had hanging strawberries and peppers, vine beans, four different types of mint, a couple of flowers, and one sunflower that my friend brought over. We grew the garden together this past spring and watch everything go from little sprouts to monsters of plants that we had to trim back, along with watching the colors change on the fruits and the way the vine beans wrapped so delicately around each other. The whole experience was beautiful and reminds me that each living thing is a miracle.
A granddaughter was assaulted last year. Finally her assailant choose the plea deal so she doesn't have to testify in court. She can now finally move on in her life.
Well of course going into quarantine for Covid has had a huge impact on us! do we count that as a milestone? At the beginning of Covid my son was diagnosed with ADHD. that was a lot to take in And to adjust to while you’re sheltering in place. Then this fall L, on What would have been the first day of school, we were in the emergency room where my son was diagnosed with type one diabetes. This milestone will forever change our lives. I am particularly glad that it put us all on the same page, and that because of Covid we are able to be at home together to learn about blood sugar and insulin and how to adjust our lives to this new rhythm.
My mother turned 80. My parents are both very susceptible and do not keep themselves safe. They do partial efforts and don't expect anyone to do anything for them. This has made me paranoid to bring infection to them. Since they are not adding any steps, anything I take with me will definitely stay in their home.
I’m hitting 60. My sisters are 71, 69, 67, 65. I wish we’d been kinder to each other and can’t believe we are all still alive.
For the first time, all my immediate family, my parents and my sister, BIL and nephew came to visit me in the US for the Christmas holidays. It was fun to have them though it was hard to have 6 people in a 2 bedroom apartment. We all went to the Caribbean right after New Year's and had my last real vacation before Covid-19. It was nice to have family around! On the other hand, as travel shut down and I didn't get to go visit them, I have not been home to Italy in more than a year now which is the longest I have been away. Hoping to make it for Christmas this year.
Recently we experienced the lost of a distant cousin (I have a very large family). His murder and all the questions around the circumstances makes me think about what family really means. How to support people where they need support and remembering how to avoid turning things into something that’s about self instead. It’s really hard to sit and watch as others suffer and are grieving and feel absolutely helpless.
My grandmother turned 100 early in 2020 and it was wonderful to celebrate her with a big extended family birthday party before the lockdowns started. I'm very lucky that she continues to be in good health, but she lives several states away and I have no idea when/if I'll see her again. I'm so glad we had that time together even if we couldn't appreciate it fully at the time.
Reuben was born! Being a parent changed EVERYTHING. I like to say that he kicked over the table of our lives. In the best way.
Receiving pandemic unemployment gave my daughter a decent sum of money and the free time to spend it. I was able to save some of mine -- although my daughter's spending since it ended, has dug into that. It showed me she is irresponsible with money and/or we needed a lot more Clorox wipes than I thought. On a serious note, because I am older while she is still in her early 20's, I am worried about what happens when I'm gone.
Our son Greg got clean and sober and is moving forward with his life in a healthy way.
My daughter has started pre school leaving just one year left until she starts proper school and will then inevitably stop wanting to hold my hand. It felt like for the first time I’ve realised how valuable time can be and how I can see a difference with her week on week or day on day. It doesn’t make me feel old but it has slowed me down in a good way.
My granddaughter is pregnant with her first child. Amazing to think that I will be a great-grandmother in February . It is a concern that she stays well through the pandemic but are hopes are high!
The only milestone that I can think of that comes close to "milestone" is Paw Paw coming close to death in January. We all gathered together as a family and began the grieving process, in a sense. He is still alive today, so it was a false alarm in a sense, but I think we all began thinking about his life, his meaning in our lives, and what his death will mean for us. This event meant more to us than Paw Paw, though. It was the last time our family could be together, massless and naive, before the world completely changed. I am so grateful for that moment and so glad that it came before the pandemic was widespread.
My niece turned 1 a few weeks ago. I was expecting to fly out to New York with my family to celebrate in person, and instead we had to do it over Zoom. It was hard, since I haven't seen her in person since she was 3 months old. I'm sad that I haven't gotten to see her in person, but grateful for technology to keep us connected.
Moving back to Dallas has been a good thing for the family - the kids and wife are much happier - but I am very nervous that it will increase stress and pressure.
This may not sound like much to others, but my cat suddenly got very sick, coinciding with the same date last year when my previous cat had a sudden stroke and died. That nearly killed me so when this happened this year, (and I hadn't intended on ever getting another pet, but I decided to go ahead and take the plunge 6 mos after) I didn't think I'd get through it if I lost her too :( Thankfully, she did get better, thank goodness--she's been my companion through this crazy pandemic! So grateful!!
My grandpa had heart surgery. Even though it was successful, he is different now. I'm sad, but every confrontation with death brings me closer to being able to appreciate the moments we have. The only constant in life is that everything changes, and I have to learn to be OK with that.
My wife's 55th birthday! I pulled off a surprise virtual party with all her friends and family. It was miraculous.
The only major milestone that I can think of is all of my sons becoming homeowners. No weddings, births, B'nai Mitzvot, retirements, deaths... I'd say the LACK of milestones and reasons to get together (compounded by COVID) are what have affected me. A profound sense of loss of extended family connection.
Pregnancy! We are going to be grandparents. It is joyful and sobering too, reflecting on this cycle of life. I can remember so well the trials and traumas of worrying about childbearing, which they are feeling. I am not able to ease anyone's mind, and fear to tell them that parenting is so much harder than being pregnant... So I'm not.
I'm single so no real direct milestone. The big family milestone was that we settled my mother's estate amicably.
Aunt Etta passed away in October at age 102. I lost my grandma all over again. So grateful my boys got to experience part of my upbringing. Our extended family has grown so close and the kids have come together because of this yearly Mecca of celebrating her birthday. Hopefully creating memories that will keep us close and continue to come together I. October to celebrate her memory.
A member of my family died. It was unexpected. They were supposed to have a routine medical procedure and for reasons that I still cannot fully understand, things spiraled and now they're gone. I'd only known this person for a few years, but their loss has hit me much harder than I thought it would. It all came to a head when my rabbi began saying the Mourner's Kaddish in the first Rosh Hashanah service. I know the traditions about who mourns whom, but something compelled me to say the kaddish, perhaps to give myself the some sliver of closure or to feel just a little less blindsided. I don't know, but it did help, even a little bit.
We have realized we like to get together as a family, now that we are on lockdown. My Mother, her memory is a blessing, used to gather us together. Since, she passed over, 9 years ago, we hadn't made it a priority. That has changed for us, at least in spirit.
We have started the adoption process for our first foster placement! It’s been a huge part of this part year and we are so excited but I personally am also feeling a lot of other feelings pertaining to keeping families together and even my own adoption
The biggest milestone was actually following through with sister-weekend 2019. While we can't follow through this year, it was the first time ever that the four sisters got together and spent significant time together just the four of us. We have all sorts of dynamics and the weekend ended up being a great time to connect, make memories, be honest with each other, set goals to encourage each other about, and explore a new town.
My son and his family bought and moved into a beautiful new home. Other than that, no major milestones - we live far apart so the only time together has been over zoom.
I GOT PREGNANT! I will be a mom some time in the next month. It has affected me probably more than anyone. My body has changed, and that has been hard. It's been emotionally challenging to try to navigate this process without my own mom, and with minimal support from my family of origin. My family is definitely all very excited, and I think they don't know how to help, even if they want to. With my husband -- I guess I need to start thinking of this question as about our family we're creating together -- it has been a process. He's definitely excited to be a dad, but I think he's scared just like I am. It's inspired him to get fit, which is great, and brought about a great deal of financial anxiety. That's been hard for both of us. I've been anxious through much of the pregnancy and pandemic, and just in the past month I feel more able to accept things as they come.
I am angry, sad, and can't find peace with the situation with my daughter and my parents. It has, however, brought me closer to my husband and my younger daughter. My household is also much more peaceful without my older daughter home, and a lot less drama without the feelings of obligation to my parents.
Dos personas muy queridas para mi tomaron decisiones que cambiaron su vida. La primera de ellas fue mi prima Rebeca, quien decidió ya no continuar con la carrera de música. Fue una noticia que a todos nos tomó por sorpresa, pero confirmó que el carácter de la familia se caracteriza por el apoyo mutuo. Ella comenzó a estudiar una carrera diferente y a estudiar formalmente un nuevo idioma. Sus decisiones me hicieron tener pensamientos extraños dentro de mi, me sentía celosa de su “libertad”. Tuve que hacer un gran ejercicio de reflexión para identificar la causa de mis celos. Lo que me llevo a reconocer que mi vida en ese momento no me satisfacía. Era urgente para mi realizar un cambio... el resto de la historia se llama Alemania. También, a causa del corona virus, cada miembro de mi familia tuvo que establecer su lugar de residencia de forma definitiva (Para cumplir con la cuarentena). Mi mamá se quedó en casa de B. Mi hermano en su departamento y mi abuela conmigo en el B2. Todos estábamos separados físicamente, por primera vez en años. La crisis mundial obligó a mi mamá a cerrar su negocio. Yo estaba temporalmente sin trabajo, pero con bastantes ahorros. Así que ayude por un par de meses a pagar algunos gastos en casa. Cada peso que daba lo daba con el amor más profundo, lo único importante para mi era ayudar. Ocupe aislamiento y el tiempo a solas para reflexionar sobre las bendiciones que amortiguaban los tiempos tan difíciles. Una de las bendiciones que encontré fue B en la vida de mi mamá. Toda la situación emocional para ella y para mi hubieran sido muy diferente sin él. Le estoy infinitamente agradecida al universo por haber puesto cada pieza en su lugar antes de los cambios radicales que se aproximaban. Cuando la bomba estalló, todos ( sin saberlo) estábamos en el lugar correcto para no salir lastimados. Es resumen, cada dio confió más en lo que atraigo y lo que la vida me tiene preparada. Estoy en unión con la energía del todo.
My youngest went to college, and seemed so happy to go. I was sad, but not as much as I'd thought I'd be. Knowing they're coming home in November helps a lot.
Sissie burnt her house down. Melyssa had a baby boy. They named him Sutherland. Everyone says he looks like me. I am extremely honored and proud that they think so highly of me to name a him after me. I hope I can make him proud and I look forward to meeting him in person. I feel bad for Sissie but her situation doesn't impact my life much. I hope she learns from this experience.
My dad's vacation to Cuba didn't happen this year. It affected me as the two weeks in July are a quieter time of year around the house. I knew that if his trip wasn't happening, it wouldn't be a good sign for my trip.
My daughter is in middle school and my son will be learning to drive. I have a majour, life-changing medical diagnosis. Everyone who attends school in this house is doing so virtually - two children, one teacher. Everything is different. Nothing feels comfortable or normal.
I spoke to my father for the first time in almost 20 years. I was happy to see how happy he was and how our family can be complete again.
#COVID19 My biomother and I are still estranged, a year and a half now, so if COVID is affecting her, she's not talking to me about it. As for my family of choice, we're all chafing in our own ways with the disruptions to routines and social intimacies. The border closure affects my connection to ALL of my stateside FoC, and that hurts.
Corona prevented me to start the process of a second child. Am waiting every day for.the right moment to Beginn. Currently second wave takes place
Our oldest granddaughter, Kaylie, is now a freshman at Penn State. Not only is that a major milestone for our family, but it's also truly a blessing to have her only a few hours away now that we're in PA. Can't wait to get to some football games and other excuses to visit once this pandemic is under control.
I don't know if this is really a milestone, but my parents went to a Trump rally last week. Drives me nuts...
My parents sold our family place at The Lake after 31 years. I was so shocked that they did. They’ve kind of been talking about it for a few years, but I never thought they would actually do it. So many of my favourite and happiest memories are from my time there and I cried many tears over the sale. I’m sentimental - what can I say?
Key occurrence is COVID which affected everything. We feel estranged from our kids and Especially our three grandkids. Hard to establish or maintain ties over a tv monitor when more visually entertaining activities are on that same monitor daily.
My eldest son became a dad. I am a grandmother and i love it. I seem to be less restless.
Major milestone? Staying alive.
I have very little dealings with my family . The death of Judi’s son in the midst of covid broke my heart . It shows you that anything can happen and nothing is forever
In my family we didn't have any major milestones....or if we have they have felt quiet. For example, I finished my 500 hour yoga training. It was a huge feat, took me several years to do.... and my certificate arrived when my parents were visiting. It was a complete victory but it wasn't anything that felt it needed to be shouted from the rooftops. Instead it was just a happy glow, quiet and still.
I think there was a milestone that went by this year and I did not noticed it. I left my last programing job in January and I think this is going to be the LAST job in this industry. I still respond to the head hunters, but I don't think they need me and I don't need them... Some years later I'll be looking back to these days with nostalgia. But this is going to happen years later. It's time for new beginnings.
We just finished our cat's course of FIP medicine. I'm hopeful that he will still be alive and well this time next year, but it's possible he will have a relapse. Also, my mother is struggling with anemia, and I don't know if her recent trouble with that means this is the beginning of the end. She's less than one month shy of her 92nd birthday, so any health issue is a concern, and this one has resulted in two trips to the ER and one hospitalization in the last few weeks. Both these things are causing me stress, not the mention everything else going on in the country right now.
My eldest son got married after 10 years. My daughter-in-law now completely controls his every movement and I hardly ever hear from him.
I keep going back to cabg. Surgery and recovery were huge windows into the hearts of my family. The ones who were there for me and others, not so much. Some surprises. Some disappointments. And yes it has changed me. A lot. I feel readjusted. A little more self protective
The major milestone I think was getting access to the house we are moving into in a few months. Living again in the quiet, in nature, is so important to us. And it's a house my partner has been dreaming of living in for a big chunk of her life.
My very generous father stopped all of a sudden giving us (children, grandchildren, grand-grandchildren) birthday presents. It just happened. And it wasn't announced or discussed or anything. It took us by surprise, not for the present itself, but for the gesture, the celebration. As far as I know, mine was the first birthday when it happened and I was surprised, but I thought it made sense, for he had always been very supportive and financially generous with us, and one couldn't say that there were strings attached, but there was a subtle question of "ownership", and I had worked over the years to conquer my independence. But when I saw it happen to the other members of the family too, I realized it wasn't strictly related to me. Yet I feel I have gained my independence.
Bar mitzvah. Definitely was a journey for me, our family, our community as well as our son. It brought us together as a family and linked us to the generations before us. As a grandchild of holocaust (moms side) and pogrom (dad side) refugees (i grew up saying "immigrants" but "refugees" is a better fit), this felt especially true. The traditional egalitarian ceremony also helped knit together my husband's Catholic family and other friends as it was so beautifully inviting.
The three of us came to an agreement regarding very likely pursuing a more rural, collective-style lifestyle within the next five years. It feels really good to be on the same page, progressing through life together!
I lost my Ruby after 16 years . She was my touchstone. The last 3 months of her life happened during the pandemic and I was able to care for her fully . Her care brought my partner and I together and it solidified our bond. There will never be another Ruby and I will always have her memories: running together in the woods and , in her last months , having her on my lap in the car , sticking our heads out the window and enjoying the smells. If we could all care for one sentient being from birth to death we would all know peace. Caring for Ruby is one of the best things I have ever done in my life.
Last summer I took Paul and Joss on a Western Adventure. We flew out to Denver, rented a car and drove to Boulder. We stayed 4 nights with Peter and Beth ( brother-in-law) and their adult sons. We had a wonderful time and Paul and Joss had a great time bonding with them all. Then we took off on a car trip of Colorado, Wyoming and South Dakota. I had such a fantastic time with the boys. They were a great help with the luggage and were so well behaved in restaurants and museums. We learned so much about each other and made memories for a lifetime.
My daughter had her first baby in Oct 2019 and is expecting again in 2021 March. These will probably be my last grandchildren - 6 grandsons and 1 granddaughter.
I was permanently laid off after 15 years. Luckily, I received a good severance. I'm surprised/impressed that I bounced back so quickly. I saw people laid off in 2008 and knew my time might come and here it was! Plus, my company was bought by a private equity firm recently and really started going downhill for employees. I'm glad to be free of the toxicity and am looking at the bright side. More time to help my child with his studies, more patience, more time for writing and exercises. I'm happy!
This summer was our 25th wedding anniversary, and John's 75th birthday. A large celebration was planned, which of course didn't happen. But I think we came away with the realization that those are just numbers... and that larger milestones are more about long term commitment, and love.
Covid-19. Election. Both have made a rift between family members and friends. Masks have been an issue and . . . Trump!!!
My brother got cancer. My mother and cousin are recovering from cancer. In an odd way, it has enchanted our relationships. Priorities become clear when you are facing a major illness.
The completion of my and my siblings secondary education. This has given me a broader perspective on what it means to be a member of my family and of my community. This is in the sense of being an active participant in all that you do rather than just someone who coasts and follows the set path. I have done this by extending myself outside of my expected path and embracing the opportunities and challenges that have faced me. Admittedly I haven't always succeeded in those challenges.
My son in law was diagnosed with a rare type of lymphoma cancer. We thought he had Covid but instead it was cancer. Which explains why he had all these symptoms going back to last year. They just moved in to their new house last year. He is doing well and just about to have his last chemo appointment. We are hoping he will be in remission. This has affected us greatly as we have seen Nic at his worst. Bloated fainting and generally unwell. Of course we love him like our son and we wish he or anyone didn’t have to go through this. He will prevail. And by this time next year he will be fine with no recurrence.
My nephew just died and I can't say he'll even be missed unfortunately. He has been a drug user since his early teens and it finally caught up with him. I hope he made his peace with the Lord and called out for Him before he died, but I don't know. Of course, I don't know about any of my other relatives either - staunch Catholics and never heard much from the other side either. So, I can only trust in the Lord - His will not ours - which strengthens my faith in Yeshua.
Our Major family milestone. My wife and I got settled into our new lifestyle. Living in a tiny house in independent living section of a CCRC. It was quite an adjustment down sizing and to a different environment.
Tom's stroke....got me thinking a lot about what's coming for all of us as we age, and that's it's in the near - rather than distant - future.
Not only did my mother die but I realized how my mother-in law and father in-law were affected by it and their special relationship as Machatunim. They shared grandchildren and so are bound forever. Their sadness is so profound and their immortality is tied together in our children.
My mother died. She fell in her apartment (and because she saw no need to wear her life alert, who knows how long she was lying in pain) and catastrophically broke her pelvis. The doctors gave her two weeks. My sister and I became a strong team, working together to figure out the best steps for my mom. Part of me feels incredibly guilty about putting her in hospice and having her die within a week. I know it was the best and really only choice, but still part of me feels like I killed my mother. She wasn't a very motherly mother and I also feel bad that I don't miss her. But I hope she's resting well and is at peace.
I got a present with lots of responsibility.
I found out through my daughter that my son will be moving across the country soon, never having started talking to me again. I feel defeated.
Two cousins had landmark birthdays. The family is getting older and I think we recognize the need to do more together and cherish that time
I am feeling like the loss of RBG was like losing a member of the family even though I never met her. I am in mourning.
Birth of baby granddaughter. I'm Living more aware of the future for her and her brothers.
My son got married! He was already living 1,000 away, had moved for a job, and had been with the same person for more than a decade, so it wasn't surprising, but was bittersweet. They called me on Tuesday, told me that they were going to the courthouse on Thursday, assured me that if not for COVID, they would have come back to New York and had a small ceremony. I couldn't be more ecastic and adore my S-i-L, but was very sad I couldn't be there. They boys sent me a photo, along with their marriage certificate, taken outside the courthouse. We sent flowers, followed by a card with a check, to get them started with whatever they need. I'm so happy that my son was able to marry the hat for his head, so deeply saddened that I couldn't be there, so grateful that at this time of upheaval, they have each other.
We celebrated the birth of our daughter, and our son getting "promoted" to big brother as well as starting (virtual) kindergarten!
We had two - my oldest kid graduated high school and my sister had another baby. COVID impacted our ability to celebrate both, but we've done our best. We celebrated my kid's graduation with a special dinner (takeout from the sushi place they love!) and re-did their room to feel more like a college dorm room as they attend from home this fall.
Oh hey this is the spot for talking about my dad dying... i felt bad that I hadn't realized how bad it had gotten and by the time I did I couldn't really do anything. I'm sad that he's gone, but it was time, and as my mom said what made him, him had been seeping away slowly and was in a lot of ways gone already. Or maybe this is just another sign of how screwed up I am, that I'm not more sad.
There should have been more milestones. My youngest finished elementary school in the spring, and there should have been trips and slideshows, awards and walks and a sense of closure. Instead, we picked up her yearbook over the summer, her desk contents a few weeks earlier, and unceremoniously, she moved on to middle school. Part of me wonders if it means I haven't really processed that I'm done with elementary school age kids; my older two were both homeschooled, so I don't have any specific ideas of what finishing elementary school should or would look like. I was counting somewhat on the rituals of the milestone to process it; I worry that it will all hit me at some later time.
Our beloved cat Serena of 19 1/2 years passed away this summer. Her sister Venus lives on, but now with a new companion, Misha who is only about 4 months old. The two seem to be getting better acquainted, and oddly, with COVID 19 isolation, both cats are greatly benefitting from our constant presence in the house. Cats are a great source of joy for our family regardless of whether they are our own or some random cat we encounter anywhere. We love them and are glad to be able to care for these two.
My daughter has decided to major in theatre, and she is really happy with her classes this semester. She has also gotten her first job, which she will start this next week. I am so relieved on so many levels. She keeps having roommate issues, though none like the ones her first year, with the unpleasant bitch from hell. Her nice roommate last year moved closer to her school. This year, her assigned roommate is looking into getting out of the lease, since she can't afford it after all. Oh well. At least this term, Molly will mostly have the place to herself, which isn't half bad.
I don’t think we had one. OH we got a TEENAGER yep I guess that’s it.
Well...with this pandemic my husband was still working while I wasn’t. My don needed more attention than ever & it was only me. There was a lot of meltdowns with my son & a lot of arguments with my husband & I about how to do things for our son. It’s been a game changer for sure. Our sin is now 3, and he’s thriving and surviving like us all.
Quarantine brought an opportunity to be together more. And we did, all we could.
We celebrated our 50 wedding anniversary. I am grateful that we didn't become a statistic of divorce. It has been a bumpy road at times but both of us are committed to our vows and I have a heart of gratitude to God for His faithfulness to us.
A global pandemic! It has prompted me to reach out to family and friends more, which is terrific. And Alexa has been spending weekends with us, proving that a global pandemic can even make time with your parents appealing.
2 years in the home we bought, which has been a huge stress and burden up until now. With Covid it clearly flipped into the "glad we did it" column...not having to deal with housemates and having control and space made it survivable...
Adding, Junie, the dog to our family. Whether it is a good thing or not, it requires us to be in the NOW.
We moved my mother to a memory care unit after assisted living did not work for her. It was very sad, but it also was a good move for her. She feels safe and comfortable and loved. She slowly is disappearing, but she has retained her personality.
The only milestone I can think of a my double stroke. That affects me in many eays, mostly because I am not so independent (I need a carer here to go outside) I don’t have a driving license or a car and with my left arm broken I struggle to cook
My son moved into an apartment with friends. This happened during the pandemic when my husband had taken off for the summer, so I was left alone. This usually does not bother me, but I realized that having my son move out was really a significant moment for both of us, and I hadn’t prepared for it. I missed him terribly and also felt that a big piece of my identity had been stripped away, even as I saw that it was absolutely the right thing for him to do.
I quit my job with Natural Grocers. I'm terrified for the future, but I could not be there one more second.
My father in-law passed away at age 94. It was during Covid so we couldn’t sit shiva and only 7 people were allowed at the graveside service. It was soooo hard to see my husband grieve, along with his 2 brothers and their mom. I was sad and worried about everyone as they tried to cope with this loss together apart.
It's hard to think in terms of milestones . . . I'll go with my youngest son getting his driver's license, getting a girlfriend, and starting some college classes (running start). He also gained like an inch+ of height this year, his face turned all grown-up. I have just felt amazed and proud, mostly, though there is some bittersweet, not really feeling like I can share my feelings about it with the one person it would impact as much as me (my ex husband). We do giggle via text at this or that and still do the technical arrangements of co-parenting, but we don't have a relationship that allows for reminiscing, shared emotional reactions . . . I must also mention (since I just reread my 2019 answers) that my older son completely transformed this year. He used Covid to strip himself of some friendships that had become toxic, boring, too immature for where his head and life is at right now. He has become quite self-actualized and "so done" with just riding around in cars, smoking weed, and listening to rap. He spends a lot of time with his girlfriend (with whom he is apartment shopping), and is in his sophomore year of college, taking it seriously. Both of these boys have grown up so much.
I turned 65. I went on Medicare. I am old!
It's all about my son this year. He got a Job with EY without any connections or help from me, he graduated with honors, he's home studying for the CPA. So I just pray he can continue on this journey of accomplishments and meet the challenges that lie before him and grow even more and an independent adult.
I made partner in January - we now have enough money to not want for anything , and to max out political donations.
Sam got his driver's license. That makes me happy and of course makes me nervous. Tali had her bat mitzvah, and what a lovely Bat Mitzvah girl she was. Her bat mitzvah in November...but then by March we were all sheltering in place due to COVID-19 and we still are, it makes me very very sad.
My mother turned 90 in February. I was there to celebrate with both my parents. Unfortunately, 4 mos later, my father died just 2 weeks short of their 70th wedding anniversary. I'm lucky to have had my parents for so long, grateful for their love, wisdom, and caring, and realize I have longevity in my life.
My cousin started his first job after college. I was happy for him. It led me to reevaluate my career.
My daughter graduated from Brown U. Her running career of the past 7 years, came to an end. She moved to Philly and began her 1st clinical entry level job. Feel some sadness, much pride,... more aware of time's passing and my own need to be mindful of the time I may have left to do what I'm here on earth to do.
After years of being estranged from my brother, the ice has slowly been chipped away. The most heartwarming, significant event happened shortly after my birthday when I received a small package in the mail. It was from my brother and his family - they had seen a little bicycle pin at a store and thought of me (I'm a cyclist) and wanted to wish me a happy birthday. It meant the world to me.
It’s been a big year for my family... my maternal grandfather passed away, one cousin got engaged, two cousins got married, one is going to have a baby, and the other just had twins! My sister also signed her first lease for just herself after moving to California, and everyone is excited about me having started cantorial school.
My husband and I separated. Obviously that affected me strongly. Mostly because I became a stronger person. I learned how to live alone, how to be independent, how to enjoy my independence and solitude. It happened just a month before COVID, so I got a double whammy in learning how to cope with anxiety and stress and sadness and grief. I feel good now. I've learned tons and feel like I'm a better person for having done so.
Since my family has disowned me... in all seriousness, my found family has gotten both closer and more distant over social media and doing our gatherings online this year
Ira's cataract surgeries were scary for him.
A few months ago, my oldest daughter became a Bat Mitzvah. I was happy and proud to see her efforts to learn the service, complete her mitzvah project, and share her talent for singing. The difficult part was that she and our entire family had to pivot our ideas of what it would look like from a large family and friends celebration to a Zoom ceremony in our living room. It was beautiful and special in the end and I was motivated and guided by the long history of Jewish people carrying on with holidays and celebrations in secret or under much more dire circumstances. I just hope that when our other daughter becomes a Bat Mitzvah in Spring/Summer 2022 that we can actually have that long-awaited celebration.
Marley started high school at the end of last year. That was big. She loved freshman year, until it got cut short. Hating this year. It’s hard to watch her struggle and no that before the pandemic school was a source of pride and joy for her.
A major milestone in my family this year was my husband and I buying our first home together. This is also the first time I am living in a house (prior to our move, I have always been an apartment-dweller). This has affected my husband and I by increasing our sense of self-efficacy, because overcoming the inertia of our current living situation, learning about how to buy a home, and doing the physical work of moving in and nesting has helped us prove to ourselves that we are fully capable of being competent homeowners, and enjoying it! It has also been an opportunity to enjoy a greater sense of spatial spaciousness and choices, which allows us to intentionally choose when we spend time together (instead of feeling we are constantly on top of one another). This has enabled us to enjoy a healthier relationship because we elect to prioritize time with one another.
Milestone always sounds like something good, my family did not experience any good milestones. But in June the first of my mother’s seven siblings passed away. My uncle Larry was a very good man, lead a very purposeful life though his zealous religious beliefs could cause some family conflict, I loved him very much. His passing and legacy makes me want to be a better person in my community.
Nothing that affected me personally, positive milestones in the family - son-in-law Justin, Kimberly's husband was promoted to Vice-President of his company! Michelle got pregnant in February - due in November, still no name, but that's for NEXT year.
A major milestone for our family is when my mother put the alcohol away. Our relationship has become stronger than ever now.
I moved out and separated from John. It’s affected us all. I only see the positive changes. I am stronger, feeling more capable, feeling more authentic and creating a life that better fits me. Julia has become more empathetic towards her dad. Julia and Leslie are enjoying more animals. They are both fixing their own independence without a hovering mother. I trust that John is finding his balance. He said that he was relieved and more relaxed without me around. Nana has sold her company and has offered to buy John a house and sends her maid to him once per week. This are good things.
We gave away most of our possessions (don't worry we are still swimming in things), sold our solid house and moved to a small apartment with a view. Our hope was to start living more nimbly so we can move out of state when our daughter graduates. Giving away so much was as freeing as promised. I took pictures of the things I wanted to remember but didn't want to keep, got rid of the unasked for gifts I was keeping out of guilt, and winnowed down my library (giving up the books I always meant to read but didn't or the ones I bought for my kids that they never took to). We kept things that were useful, beautiful or that we just loved. We still have so much but every thing is precious.
Milestone. My youngest starting a job atSonic. Wants to be independent and empty nest suddenly got real. Mindfully thinking about retiring and living alone for the rest of my life. It’s scary and exciting.
My grandpa (dads dad)passed away in January. Was hard to see my dad go through that. But it brought us closer to my grandma. There was always a lot of animosity between my parents and my dads parents.
so much has changed Ican't remember since all feels connected to the pandemic
I often feel lost and alone and need to make a real effort to connect with friends
My youngest of 4 turned 13 (the others are 16, 19, and 25). I have no kids left! I went through a period of being really sad about the passing of the part of my life where I had young children. I was good at it and I really loved it. Now, though, the sadness has passed, and I'm excited about having kids who are so grown up, that I can talk to as equals, who can solve their own problems. Letting go, letting them be more responsible for their choices and their lives, is the new challenge.
I'd have to say COVID-19, which meant that I was home for more than a week for the first time since, the beginning of 2013. And I really liked it. I used my kitchen, I cooked, I certainly worked as many hours as before (if not more), but it was just so nice to be home and sleep in the same bed every night, and to be with my spouse, with whom I wasn't really sure I could live.
Travel continues to affect me in such huge ways. It hasn't really paid off... my business was in the red last year despite high cash flow ... but it has given me the global and historical perspectives that give my life so much greater meaning and potential. December Florence and Tuscany, March France. And what should have been a lot more trips except for Covid's appearance. Additionally, obviously the trip to Lyon was a kind of milestone, since I brought home a case of Covid-19 that took me months to recover from, even though I was never so devastated as to require hospitalization.
Dad got sick again this summer. He was started on seizure meds & is getting radiation treatment. The burden's really fallen on mom - getting him to appointments M-F for 11 weeks. For me, I guess it just reinforces that my parents are getting old & won't be around forever.
I guess the only real major milestone was my husbands ex-wife, mom to my youngest step son moved back. So, we no longer hear from the kids, or see them hardly at all. That sorta hurts, but I can't completely blame them. We have been housebound due to the quarantine, and with my husband's health, it is not wise for us to really be around anyone. The only other thing is that we've decided to keep getting married, like as many times as we possibly can, in an attempt to beat the Worlds record of 109.
The final break with my brother occurred-my ex-sister in law died and now my niece died. Too much death and too many losses. But I am trying not to let it break me.
My daughter has become a toddler, a partially independent small person with her own opinions and competencies. Life is easier. Life is harder.
Son went to college - a thing I was unsure would be possible for him due to some learning and health challenges, and firstborn returned to college, and I got to be an empty nester. Turns out, I LOVE living alone without responsibility for anyone else, and the complete enjoyment of my clean, quiet home on my terms and my timeline. Alas, due to COVID, everyone is back home now, and son's adventure didn't turn out as planned, so he's in limbo, with no life plan.
So my family has several answers to this—Brady starting school, Finn learning to potty, but I will say becoming a cat mom x2. They are so much fun and very comforting as I quarantine and do long days of online schooling.
Divorce It’s made me much more honest with myself and more honest with my kids. And hopefully role modeled some important lessons for them like doing something that is hard but right for yourself and standing up for yourself. And I think it’s made me and my kids happier. It’s put my ex/ their dad into an existential tailspin but I’m just starting to see glimmers of him starting to figure things out so hopefully it will be good for him too in the end. And it’s made me closer to my own family as well.
COVID has made us closer in some respects. More phone calls and more honest conversations about our personal life.
Little sis had baby#2, big sis finished school and is now a nurse practitioner. Fella has gotten noticed for his history tours and is making progress there. No personal al milestones for me personally but I am hoping that will change by this time next year as I am going back to school, even if it is only 1 class at a time.
I think it would be that my current romantic partner of more than six years broke up with me twice. I was confident during the first break-up that we would get back together -- only to have that confidence broken when she decided to break up a second time. Somehow, we got back together again.
This has been a significant year for my tiny family. I’m going to choose to write about my mom’s cardiopulmonary hypertension, and me living with her for half of the year. We had a chance to help each other and accept help from each other in a way that neither of us naturally would do. Through it our relationship is the best it has been, and we’ve helped each other heal.
Lockdown. This has actually been great for us all to get better at spending time together, even if we all sometimes get a bit restless!
I can't think of any major milestones that happened to my family this year. My two brothers continue to struggle with some health issues; I have a new health issue, but I don't think those are "milestones". Looking at last year's entry, though, I think my older brother is much improved, and his cognition has gotten better, as well.
A major milestone was moving into a new house in March 2020. We planned this before the pandemic - bought the house in July 2019. We had lived in our town home for 16 years - and had a lot of memories there including having both children while living in that house. The quarters were tight but we prided ourselves in bringing up city kids who had street smarts and a certain city savvy about them. Then the pandemic hit. Our contractors were wrapping up and on 3/20 we essentially fled our townhome with no fanfare or farewell and moved into our new (to us) bigger house with our first yard. I was worried about moving before the pandemic- would I like being so far from things, and not as close to a city center. Would a big house feel too big and make our family not feel so close? But this house is a blessing that came at exactly the right time even though I didn’t know it at the time. I’m so thrilled to have space and a yard and neighbors with kids. I’m so grateful not to be so close to everyone right now and have space to breathe and a patio to spread out on. I don’t take it for granted.
Dealing with diabetes has gobsmacked me. Getting counseling and meds for bulimia is helping me overall. But the eating must change . 16 yrs together is better than ever. Scored the RV and still learning.
We've graduated into the next timeline. We are now grandparents, parents, children, grandchildren.
Look nothing happened Significantly with my family this year. Mum and dad have been looking after cocoa and Lou Lou a lot and that makes me so happy knowing they’re well looked after, the girls deserve to be spoilt and completely loved. I want them to have the love and affection I didn’t get when I was growing up. Whenever I see them I smother them with cuddles and kisses and knowing that even if mum and dad aren’t as affectionate with them as I am, Knowing Dad and mum are taking the girls for walks everyday makes me so fucking happy knowing that they’re getting that adrenheline and excitment that they love, you can see how happy they are when they get to go for a walk. I love them so much
Two grandsons were born - one was a very difficult delivery for both baby and Mom. Extremely stressful time not knowing what the outcome would be. Very very thankful and appreciative.
2 nieces & a nephew all got engaged within a couple months of each other! And the niece I’m closest to came out as pansexual after falling in love with a close friend. I’m so happy for all of them!
Younger bro 2 is now living away from home. Homelife is more organized and quieter.
My half-brothers went abroad to study. This didn't affect me in any way.
My big brother, Gregory, had a kidney transplant a few weeks ago. It all happened very quickly. He's been on the transplant list for a while (over 6 months, I think). He had a fistula put in on a Thursday to prepare him for dialysis, which he would have had to start sometime after Christmas. His kidney function was down to 13%. Then, the next day, my big sister, Laura, offered him her kidney. We were all blown away by her generosity, and it really seemed to perk Gregory up. It was an act of great love. That weekend it was Laura's 40th birthday. We were supposed to have a family Zoom call to celebrate together, but Gregory excused himself because he had to go into hospital: they had a kidney for him! (Not Laura's.) He had a series of tests that day to check he was compatible and then the transplant happened overnight. He was elated the next day. Apparently the kidney is very small, which might mean that something very sad happened to make the kidney available. But it really feels like Laura's generosity paid it forward and the world reacted and found him a kidney. In some ways, all of this has brought us closer together. But the last few weeks have been increasingly tough on the others because Gregory has slipped back into mania, the signs of which we could see from day 2 after the transplant, once the elation and painkillers wore off. We're really worried that his mania will affect his ability to take care of himself and take all his medications at the right time. It's hard enough for a person of sound mind to stick to the regime. My dad, Sandy, found it difficult after his transplant and he really needed Moira to remind him to take all his pills at the right time (some with food, some without). I also worry that Gregory self-medicates with nitrous oxide (laughing gas) and probably worse. He's not sleeping regular hours and he's putting himself at risk. Part of me feels really cross at this: he's been given this kidney to safe his life, but he's not protecting it and himself the way we would like to see. Someone else could have had that kidney. It's hard to say, but it's true. I hope he comes through this and takes better care of himself.
We lost my sister-in-law, Phyllis. It was not unexpected and yet somehow very surprising -- she had so much life force, and was living with enthusiasm up to the very minute she died. I miss her every day!
Felix going back to Daycare (reopened) is probably the biggest. Lots more headspace for more than just getting by. We're in the thick of things, the big milestones are just slightly ahead and haven't happened yet.
No major milestones this year. My parents are still in good health and independent for which i am so thankful. During Covid, I brought my parents groceries, which they only recently began buying for themselves. It made me aware of my mom's fear of illness and death.
Our oldest child turned 40. I can feel our daughters pivoting towards taking care of each other and taking care of me as we all grow older. I feel my capacities waning and sense that they are strong, connected, motivated to sustain the family. They are stepping up as I begin to step aside.
Besides the house, we got a puppy. The puppy has caused many arguments between my partner and I. I just do not have the patience for a puppy. From it chewing up our baseboards, to peeing all over the place, it has become too much for me at times and I regret getting the dog at times. Other times it’s fine and I love having her (the dog) around. It’s been tough. And since we got her just before COVID-19 happened, we couldn’t get her into training until 6 months after getting her, which was not ideal for our sanity either. If I ever had doubts before, I know now that I never want children, and will only adopt adult dogs moving forward.
My husband quitting work unexpectedly and without a plan has thrown our family life and marriage into turmoil. I gave up my career for family years ago, and I am now facing the daunting prospect of rejoining the workforce during a pandemic-induced economic crisis and doing so with some significant demographic strikes against me. I’m beyond scared. I’m angry with myself for believing I wouldn’t be in this position. I’m desperately sad.
I got the call that I was predicting from last year. I am with my grandmother in Northern California and have been here for over 2 months now. I have experienced a wide spectrum of emotions and more recently have felt “aloneness” in a way that I’ve never felt before. Fortunately, I have made a friend up in this small town and feel a renewed sense of connection to humanity and the universe or my higher self.
In my nuclear family (do people even still use that term?) we got a 4th "child" and 6th family member! It had not been in the plan to introduce a new sphynx - if anything, we had discussed a 2nd dog - but the opportunity arose, we played around with the idea in our heads for a while (ok, I was obsessing a bit), and during a Friday PM class at Zumba we said to a friend, "Just say yes or no. You won't know what about, but just say one." She said yes. We put the deposit on the sphynx right then. I think even if she had said no, we would have, but we were feeling playful with the new time introduced by Covid. It turned out to be DIVINE. I spend so much time at home than previously, and my work is all at home, so the timing was great. What we didn't anticipate is that the move from 3 to 4 would be very... eventful. It has been worth every moment of every event. I adore Puck, he meshes with this absurd family perfectly, and I am so thrilled that I said to Jen, "Hey, look at this baby bambino that is available..." This just reinforces to go with my gut, listen to people at Zumba lol, AND more than anything gets me further toward the crazy cat lady that I am/plan to be.
We've just gotten through a year of life without Leila. Were still standing and maybe stronger as a family unit.
Mom died. There was tremendous grief, many tears and, atop all that, a measure of relief. Mental illness made her entire life a struggle. Physical illness restricted her mobility and conferred a great deal of pain. Goodbye mom, I love you.
We began to understand each other. It makes honesty work better, it makes loving each other better. Not all things are right or wrong, there are many variations in between and we discuss them. We support each other better.
Most milestones were things that didn’t happen because if the pandemic Bat mitzvah postooned No summer camp No summer bacationing
We moved from Italy to America and left nearly everything behind, taking a leap of faith that we will improve our lives in the long run. Unfortunately the pandemic hit at a point of no return and we have been stuck in limbo - without jobs, housing, stability - for over 7 months now with no end in sight. We are struggling with anxiety, depression, health issues and it's created a serious strain on our marriage.
Jesse and Louise got married!! This has been wonderful. Louise is an amazing addition to our family and we are so happy to have her around. It has been a very difficult year to live as newlyweds, and they have had more challenges than most, but its brought a lot of joy and hope to our family!
In October, Dana had major back surgery. It was a scary moment because the surgery was long, risky, and had a terrible recovery. It was hard to be so far away from her, unable to help because I was in school. I'm grateful that she came out of it ok, that it has somewhat improved her back function, but also it feels like a monster on the horizon as she'll probably need another surgery in 5 years or so. Also, Dana and trinh both became student very aware and involved in black lives matter work. It is SO GRATIFYING to see these concepts finally click for them, and a blessing that tension about racism, White supremacy and police brutality do not have to color our interpersonal conversations because we are on the same page.
This was the year we were able to buy our first home. When COVID hit we were in the condo and struggling--there was no space outdoors for the kids and my office was between the front door and the hall closet. We had always wanted to wait until after we paid off my student loan to start looking and we were about a year away but something made me say to Jason, let's just meet with an agent. And somehow within five weeks we had found and moved into the perfect house for our family. Has it changed the pandemic and made everything perfect? No, but having a backyard, separate rooms for the kids and more space has made it slightly more pleasant and I do love our new home.
In November 2019, we celebrated two years of living in Tennessee. We never thought we would move to Tennessee, and Finn loves it, but we don't always like it. It's hard to live here -- we miss our friends, the culture is not what we're used to, and we miss the food and activities in Los Angeles. But it's also been nice here, too. Calm and family-centric, outdoors, and it's a very easy place to live. We have come closer together in Tennessee, and while we might not have chosen it, we are having fun and accomplishing our life goals. After two years away from LA, we are starting to feel we have a home here as well.
I turned 40 on my birthday i feel like this has made me more grown up, also I'm making different decisions because of it dying my hair and even wanting to travel more