What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year?
Fear of failing publicly. My website, my business ideas. I dont put them out there because I am afraid of being a failure. What am I going to do? Feel the Fear and do it anyway.
I fear that my laziness and inability to follow through on things will hinder my success/insure my failure. Just have to keep working on improving myself in those areas. I'm afraid I won't be able to do that, though.
1) my biggest fear/ stress 24 hours for the last many years is my job and the fear of losing it, as I'm not performing. I want to fix this this year.
Wow, the things that limit me are external. Well, this question really has made an impact. I feel pretty great about that.
My biggest fear is that I won’t get it all done, whatever “it” is, there always feels like there is more to do. I plan on spending time reminding myself that I can only do what I can do, and the important thing is to prioritize what matters most. And then to be aware of how I am thinking and talking about the never ending list of things that don’t get done, because there are simply not enough hours in the day.
I've been afraid of putting myself out there too much, and that's held me back from creative and professional work alike, not to mention a more social way of life. As I write this, a tweet of mine is a few days into going viral, and even that feels weird. Maybe I can learn something from this, and from experiences like it, and look for opportunities to open up.
This year has been all about getting over my fear. It took me about 12 months to get over JFGS. During that time I would avoid talking to people, hiding behind my computer so that I wouldn't make a mistake. Then, I didn't get paid through Peoplehood because I was afraid of doing paperwork wrong. This year my goal is to do what Iyanla says...if you aren't peeing yourself a little big then you aren't living big enough. I want to live big enough!
I have been afraid of not being controlled by fear; even as I worked on the little fears, that fear above all remained--endorsed!--used to bludger and badger things into remaining under that control. But I have looked at it and said: no more! And I have stood by that, and will continue to do so and to progress. No more does fear control me.
My parents and sister dying, getting old. I have no idea how to get over this, but I'm thinking meditation or some spiritual experience might help. Also, I have no clue what my passion is, and I'm afraid I'll never find one. Let go of that, and just explore! Shop more classes next semester! Take a journal so you can see how much progress you've made, because it's a lot.
Not being liked. Rememberi g who my people are is the path out
I think I've been afraid of doing more harm than good, and that has kept me from acting to support Black Lives Matter. But I can be proactive in finding ways to engage productively. I can reach out and talk to people who have wrestled with similar concerns to get some models for how to position myself within the movement.
The big bats in Australia scare me. I've thought about it a lot, and I'm just gonna keep letting this happen.
I'm so afraid of being alone. I have to let it go, though, because here I am. I'll let you know.
Right now I fear financial insecurity. It's limited my ability to move forward, to even look for more work which I'm guessing would alleviate that fear. I hope to let it go by having a clear plan after this lease is up, this job is up etc. I'm starting to feel my age and realize that I have to take responsibility for myself even if the "help" is available. That's scary. Also, I'm fearing this level of emotional vulnerability I've been exploring with Ross. Who knows if he will even be a part of my life when I read this? How did I handle that? I fear things changing. All the things.
fear of financial hardship. I've started by learning to live with less money coming in which is balanced by the peace and ease of my current job
Fear of failure, of coming up short, which can almost paralyze me into procrastination. How to deal with it? Just try to keep working through it. Make the lists and actually get through them. Also, if I really want to change something, try to make the leap, instead of thinking, thinking, thinking and not doing anything to get closer to whatever goal is.
I most fear becoming irrelevant. As people get older, they don't matter anymore. No one cares what they think. Every expects them not to be around much longer so they no longer count. I don't want to be irrelevant. I want to be appreciated and important and useful and valued.
I often fear the critical response, so I take no action or delay action. And then I actually create the critical/negative response. I need to face things strait on.
I fear going to new places. I'm scared someone will see me and think I don't belong there. It's worse when I might bump into someone I know. This is something I need to work on with my therapist.
A fear that I have is that I won't get into PT school and that I will have to take a gap year. Not only do I not want to have to wait a year, but it would also be humiliating for me to tell to all the people that I've talked to about applying. I think it has limited me in procrastinating sending in applications to make sure they are perfect when in reality the time is probably more important at that point. I know I will get over it though and not let it hold me back.
My fear is of failing!!! Also my fear of being alone and not being in my children's lives and nattering yo them. Or making things worse! I am working on helping myself to allow for change or to move out of my comfort zone. To be better for myself
My planning mind is working really hard because I am anxious about stepping into the unknown. I may not realize it is suffering -- it may not feel painful -- but it is blocking my presence and presence is necessary for moment by moment amazement and gratitude. My spiritual task is to get comfortable with not knowing, make friends with fear and anxiety, and observe if there is any longing or excitement underneath.
I need to learn how to be more independent while at the and time making my family feel that I am stil meeting those needs.
1) Never finding love-- it probably makes me risk averse in ways that aren't helpful. I put things on hold or obsess over the fear coming true, which I'm sure doesn't make me more attractive. 2) Being too feminine or not feminine enough. I'm just starting to reopen exploration of that one so, we'll see where I am in a year.
I have done better with my fear of the unknown as it relates to our travel this year. Today I am dealing with the fear of no store manager at VH and frankly it terrifies me and also makes me angry. I don't want that job! I'm not good at it and I don't want it to affect our operations or our people. I'm not sure how to let go of this except hire the right someone.
I often fear being ashamed or humiliated if I take on something new and do it poorly. Sometimes this fear stops me from trying new things that I might enjoy. By acknowledging that it is so, I hope to be more aware when I am limiting myself due to fear of humiliation and hope to be able to talk myself into taking the risk.
I've become acutely aware of my social paranoia lately. I am always expecting a knife in the back. It may take the expertise of a psychologist to help me work through this and become more trusting.
Fear - I guess short-term it's rejection, and getting my professional life back in order. It's starting to happen, but it was quite a headspin to get fired.
Much the same as some of the other question. I have a fear of being judged which leads me to be shy, not outgoing and come across as standoffish. It also means I miss out on a lot as I don't participate or I'm crippled by fear. This has to change!
Not sure. Sometimes I think I'm afraid of being exposed as an "imposter," other times I think I'm afraid of too much success. I will be trying hard to let it go by doing those things that I am afraid of.
Fear of taking the leaf from the front and thus fully committing to my convictions. It has limited me to allowing others to have more influence than necessary and by my not taking forward and exploring my own initiatives and desires, I plan to face that fear more often in the coming year so that I push and lead more from the front based on my sense and feelings. I think that this can be accomplished through coaching as well as and seeking feedback from those around me.
Fear of the people I love suddenly realizing that I'm just not as good as they think I am. I can become better, and I can fucking relax for once.
I'm afraid that I'm not lovable and that I will never fall in love. It scares me that I haven't felt that attraction, that spark in so long. It's limited me because I've lost my self love and my self esteem when it comes to revealing my most relaxed and comfortable state with guys. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. I've come a long way but this year I intend to embrace vulnerability and love love love myself. I'm going to work on being real.
I have controlled my fear where I don't allow it to interfere with my everyday normal life. When people tell me I can't do something I figure it out and go around them. This has also brought on the situation... I would rather ask for forgiveness than ask for permission. Oh... I get in mild trouble... but it works. I will add my profession is not Firefighting, Military, Medical or Police, so death or dying is not at risk.
My fear of confrontation has occasionally (though not usually) kept me from speaking up for my beliefs, but more often has prevented me from having insightful conversation that leads to a greater understanding of alternate viewpoints. I know I will be forced (and already have been) into conversations with people who disagree with my deeply held beliefs, and I want to get more comfortable with those conversations but also work on having them calmly and logically instead of just passionately and with frustration. I will work on assessing if a particular battle is "worth it" and trying to listen and understand what the other person is saying instead of always looking to respond. I know this will be challenging given how passionate and competitive I am, but I know it is essential for understanding other people and understanding my own views.
My fear is that I'm not good enough. Growing up I wasn't accepted for who I was and I am working on believing that I am enough as I currently am. It keeps me from just enjoying the moment and wastes mental energy thinking about it. I'd like to let it go and free myself.
I fear aging, death, aloneness. I can only let it go by facing it.
Being alone - as in TOO alone, since I like being alone most of the time. But since I've been dealing with this for so long, I don't think it really limits me so much now. So I guess I just keep ensuring that I keep good connections with friends, make new friends, etc.
I'm afraid of wanting and trying things. In the last few years I have learned to be very go with the flow, very content with the present, and I think this has helped me with anxiety and depression. I am in the longest depression-free period of my adult life, which is good. But I am very unambitious, and that bothers me. I would like to put more comics online, create some video projects and publish them online, perform at some open mic nights, and maybe start publishing short essays on a blog or something.
I am afraid of being sad and alone, without any direction. I am afraid of coasting through life, or making a commitment that isn't right for me. Perhaps I am most afraid of committing to something "incorrectly", that is to say that I commit to something and then change my mind, or discover it isn't the right path for me. I think this has slowed me in making decisions overall. In some ways, I have let go of this by going back to school. I am afraid of being sad and alone, so I don't try to make real connections with people in a sustainable way. I make friends, and connect with friends on a real level, but am not able to sustain any relationship that is not immediately available right in front of me. I don't know if I want to get married, but I know I would like a sense of partnership. But I am also afraid of having a partner and then losing it...getting over the loss of someone important, whatever kind of loss it may be, is SO hard, especially for me. Sometimes it feels like it's easier to just go it alone. Perhaps in the next year I can challenge myself to make other kinds of connections with people...perhaps if I invest in myself, others will be more interested in me, for who I am.
I have a fear of romantic relationships, and I have a fear that no one is attracted to me. A few things that happened this past year have proved otherwise. My plan is not to start throwing myself at men, the opposite in fact. My plan is to act likely the sexy, intelligent, bad ass woman I am, and if the right guy comes along who likes me, then to be open to that, but I'm not going to stoop to any guy who doesn't value all my positive attributes.
I am afraid to leave Northern California because I will miss my son and friends very much. This fear has caused me to procrastinate when it comes to looking for a new job in Portland, Oregon. I plan to let go of this fear on January 1, 2017.
I fear that I will be unable or unwilling to make the compromises necessary to sustain an intimate relationship. I hope that by "cleaning up my act" I will feel free to be more transparent.
I have very few fears, thankfully. I sometimes have a fear of bringing up sensitive issues, especially in terms of Courtney (telling her I want her to convert to Judaism) and my father (telling him I may propose and that I want him to get on board). I know that bringing up issues directly is always the best approach, so I just need to do the bullet and bring up the topics I have been afraid to talk about. But to my credit, I am better than I had been!
I fear mean people. Perps, psychopaths and sociopaths. Grief, anxiety, fear in general. Try and create sane support system, read the self help and materials available. Work on fear of flying and perhaps take a trip, with a friend or some sort of legit companion, that requires flying. Determine what are calculate risk and take some.
I am very glad to say that I don't have any personal fears right now. I am pretty happy with my life and my family and my career, and it has been a long time coming.
I have a huge fear of injuring myself, even though haven't really had any major problems since spraining my ankle at age 38. I would like to trust that I am strong enough to keep doing various exercise classes for at least ten more years. I also fear being hit by a car while bicycling, which has really limited my former enjoyment of riding. I would like to try to ride my bike to work next spring, at least after Daylight Savings time starts.
It's a quiet fear, and to even to call it that seems to draw too much attention to it. But I worry that sometimes I'm not taking enough time with myself. In losing this time, I may not be giving myself enough time to recharge and to grow. Insist on a camping trip by yourself. Or tell Eitan you'd like to take a night to yourself. Don't overextend yourself when no one is asking you to.
My biggest fear currently is not knowing how I sit for retirement. I am at the age when a lot of my friends are retired now, or still working because they can't afford to retire yet. I would really like to retire or take a job that I enjoy more. But I need to get rid of my debt and make time to talk with my financial planner. I want to ha e enough money during my retirement so that I can travel and be involved in the things I want to be involved in. I worry a lot about this.
My fears have been the same for many, many year: that I will die alone, that I will suffer with no one to comfort me. If I don't have those relationships yet after 70 years on this earth, I don't know how that can be changed.
I fear that I will be single, or that worse then that, I will never feel connected to my husband. As an extension of that, I fear that I will not feel connected to any child I might have. I would like to attend a formal DBT class to cope with the chronic emptiness and lack of connection I feel towards others.
I still fear failure. Even though the things that scare me come to pass and I find they're never as bad as I think they are, I know fear is still too powerful a force in my life. I wish it wasn't.
I have a fear that money that I have been living off of since 2004 when I left the FDA is going to be gone. I guess my plan for over coming this in the coming year is to have faith that God has a plan for my life and it is a good plan.
I fear not being myself, not being good enough, my future, my past. Focusing on the present. Meditating. Journaling. Living the moment. Not ruminating on the past. Not worrying about the future. Not doubting. Focusing on others while still checking in with myself. Self-affirmation. Not biasing/pre-determining the future. Taking control of my mind.
Financial stability. I think and worry too much about it, and I need to let go of this fear. Hopefully, with more security in my position at work I can be less concerned.
I think I'm afraid to really trust myself. It seems silly, because I'm broadly a very ambitious and and confident person. But sometimes I am the master of my own deception. I want to practice listening to myself more. I know what is best. My instincts are often spot on. I don't need to over think things, I just need to trust myself more.
I fear I won't be happy, that I'll never find somewhere to belong, I won't be truly loved or appreciated or even understood. It limits what I do every day. Every decision I make is influenced by fear. I think the best way to let these fears go would be to prove myself wrong. Find people who do appreciate me and see my worth. Find somewhere I belong even if that means I'm alone. Do things that make me feel happy and the rest will come.
I have a fear of not being heard. It has limited me, because I overcompensate and try to be heard more - talk more, talk louder. I have a small goal - in a meeting - do not talk first. Sounds simple, but it isn't - so it takes a minute to listen, before formulating a question or response. one small step
Fear of speaking my mind for fear of a negative reaction (mostly in my family/personal relationships). I'm smart, educated, well-read, and kind ... that should be enough to validate my opinions.
Making the wrong decision; especially parenting. Giving myself real deadlines for decisions and appreciation which ones really matter.
I fear that I won't ever feel like an adult. If I don't feel like an adult, then I continue to resist the responsibility. The more I resist, the more pressure I feel to have our lives on our shoulders.
I don't like personal confrontations. I am fine arguing online or in a written forum, but in person, I am avoidance personified. One shouldn't make a scene. One shouldn't raise one's voice in public. One shouldn't contradict others.... The socialization of women (particularly Southern women) in my lifetime has been incredibly inhibiting. But some things are more important than my personal comfort level with confrontation, and this political campaign year has raised my attitude and raised my voice, beyond anything before. So I'm working on finding an appropriate voice level, so to speak, to KEEP speaking out about social injustice and a culture of bigotry which so affects this country. For so long, we just didn't talk about things because it wasn't 'nice'. Well darn it, some things AREN'T nice, and if we don't talk about them, when will they ever change??
I've cared about how others will react to my changing inner world and how to make other people in my life more comfortable. I need to focus on myself, I cannot and do not want to control how others will react. I fear that because I am less social and I am losing social connection in general that I will be perceived as unlikable. I have been afraid to let go of friendships that I don't relate to anymore. I think this part is a slow and painful process. I just need to do what is best for me and trust that it will all shake out the way it is supposed to.
My biggest fear is that I won't be able to support my family and it makes me averse to any additional risk. Either our company does well enough to increase my salary or I find another way to supplement my income.
My prior job induced great anxiety, to the point of thinking about suicide. My goal is to find a new job and use the skills I have since learned to overcome that in the future.
fear of succeeding and fear of failing. They hold me back. not too sure how I will over come it but i will work on it.
My biggest fear is that I'm not good enough. I'm constantly doubting myself, telling myself that maybe I'm not smart enough to be a math major or to be a math tutor. And it's not even limited to school. I always strive for perfection, and even though I know perfection is unrealistic, I can't help but feel disappointed and not good enough when I don't achieve it. I focus too much on my failures than my accomplishments, so I plan on switching that around. Instead of comparing myself to other people, I need to focus on what I have been able to accomplish, and not what I haven't. Or at least being able to say, "so this didn't work out, but this did so I'll use this for future reference." I just need to stop being so hard on myself.
It's funny that over 10 years into my career, I'm started to get impostor syndrome. I worry that I'm not good enough, don't have enough experience, or am afraid to take that next step. I've worked hard, accomplished great things, built an amazing supporting community around me, and I know I can do it. I need to remind myself of that, and push myself, take on new challenges, and believe in myself.
Fear of failure is real, and it makes me stall on things that would actually help me further my career (taking projects on by the horns) and feel less anxious/more confident in my work. I admitted this to my boss today, actually, and i think it was important to do (even though I am stalling right now from doing the tasks I need to do, to instead do this!).
I'm am fearful about graduating from DBT. This has been restrictive and limiting as so much of the group graduates and I remain stuck. I hope this year I am strong enough and capable enough to let myself graduate.
i fear that i am growing stagnant... go to at least one thing each month that stirs me
I fear that I'm not good enough, or of being an anchor on those I love, or just being a failure in general. I want to trust more in God and really give of myself. It helps that I've fallen in love with a great guy.
My fears seem to emanate from both internal and external sources. From an internal standpoint, I'm not certain that the word "fear" would be accurate. I'm fairly certain that at this point I feel very few fears, per se. .. Let me clarify. I'm not consciously fearing anything regarding myself -- in past months I've pondered this, including the possibility (statistical probability?) of dying in the next 5-10 years. Should I develop a life-shortening illness (most likely another form of cancer), I anticipate that I'll respond well -- resilient, manage symptoms and treatments, and even face my own imminent death. There have been many times this past year when the possibility crossed my mind, and each time I reached the conclusion that I have been extraordinarily fortunate; blessed with an amazing, wonderful wife, children, and broader family; that I've made amends with important family members; that I've generally been kind and supportive to others, and that I've used my time and energies in meaningful, worthy ways. In contrast, the true fears that I carry, and which continue to "haunt me", are fears about the kids. Fears for their safety; fears for their health and well-being (I continue to want to keep them enclosed in the "bubble-wrap" of physical closeness to us, and in having them follow my/our "suggesti0ns"). I fear for Talya being hurt if this relationship does not move forward, nd I fear for her great sadness if it should end; I worry about the challenges she seems to face in developing confidence and an understanding (that so many who know her appreciate) of her incredible gifts of expression and of bringing disparate communities together. Perhaps most powerfully, I fear that we may not have sufficiently prepared Jesse for the world and practical life challenges that he will face when we ae gone. In sum, my fears are much more tied to the kids. However, there is indeed, one true fear which has been growing in recent weeks, and that is the state of our country, and by extension, the future safety of our not only our children, but of the Jewish community as a whole, as well as other minority communities. I fear that the toxin which this narcissistic, racist, misogynistic, lazy, simple-minded prick has infused into this election has the power to incite and ever-growing authoritarian mob mentality across this land. I fear that it will undermine so many of the principals and mores which make up the foundation of America. I fear that Trump has, indeed tapped into so many basic fears (many of which may in fact be quite legitimate) fears of the many disenfranchised in America, and has manipulated those fragilities in a manner that creates the magical thinking that seems to be taking hold: "We need a savior to rescue us and to quash our fears." This is my great fear at this point.
Not so much a fear, but an aversion to plan changes. I like to know what is going to happen and then have it happen exactly as I thought it would (time-wise). I don't get that very often. Peter will often say one thing and do another. My workplaces are the same. I am learning to let it happen.
Looking at this question is helping me see how much I have overcome my fears already. I have long been afraid of rejection and of others' disapproval, but have become a person who knows that neither will destroy me and risks them more and more often as part of living an authentic life.
I fear not being enough. For my boss. For my family and friends. For my boyfriend. It cripples me when I make mistakes and I don't recognize and congratulate myself for my successes. I don't know how I will overcome by lack of confidence quite yet--here's to hoping something in the next year guides me.
I don't want to be afraid of telling the truth. Of being exactly who I am. Of worrying what other people will think. I WANT TO JUST BE ME AND BE OKAY WITH IT.
I probably right the same every year. Maybe next it will be different. My biggest fear is not being enough, not doing enough. It makes me under value my worth and second guess how I view and makes me think to much on how others see me. If I knew how to overcome it this wouldn't be the third time I'm writing it but all I know is I have to try
I am still afraid of being mediocre, and that I think that fear has kept me from getting a regular job earlier this year -- and it may have something to do with maybe not digging in as fully on mundane projects as it might help me to. This sense of perpetually being on the lookout for a role or association befitting of how special I think I am... I think it may keep me from doing the work that's sometimes been available to me, or at least doing it as well as I could.
My top fear at the moment (okay, it's been a fear much of my adult life) is that I'll never find a suitable partner to spend my life with, to marry and have kids with. How do I balance the "I don't need a husband to justify my existence" with the "I want to be a parent, but not alone"? I often feel like the odds of finding someone who can appreciate all parts of me (the teacher, the rabbi, the salsa dancer, the bookworm, the hiker, the web designer, the board gamer, the collage artist, the election worker...) are staggeringly against. I need someone, most of all, who can challenge me both personally and intellectually. I'm not sure that I can overcome this within the next year. I certainly can't plan it. The prospect of leaving the Bay Area has made me reluctant to date here--I'm in a kind of weird gray area of wanting either someone totally not serious--because I might be gone soon--or someone very serious--who could come with me. In any case, I'm trying not to worry about it too much. If I meet someone worthwhile, yay. If not, also fine. Right now I'm concentrating on enjoying living where I do.
I worry that other people will not value me for my full worth (in the world of work). I worry that I over-value myself. I worry that I am simply not clever enough, not young enough, am too slow, don't know enough stuff. I wish I could get better at appreciating myself. I think that I need to get better at what I do, but it's just possible that I'm already pretty good at what I do, and that what I really need is to get better at appreciating / having faith in myself. How can I overcome this? I guess I just need to keep reminding myself, I am fantastic, I am amazing. And when I get evidence that confirms this, I need to pay attention to it and value it, instead of instantly casting it aside.
I am afraid of self-sabotage. Afraid of turning to depression when I don't feeling like I am getting the care I need in other parts of my life. I am afraid that I won't be able to keep up the necessary energy and enthusiasm in the future to maintain a love life, a work life, a social life. Even though I have grown a great deal in this past year, I am afraid that my default setting is still one of depression and isolation. I had discovered how much I like to be with a partner, but I still feel the tug to withdraw and wallow. In the coming year I want to overcome my fear by seeking out the help I need, by taking care of myself, by writing regular emails to Sarah when she is away, rather than detaching and licking wounds and oversleeping. I'll also have a few projects going on at a given time, esp. Radical Republicanism and Kuglshrayber.
I am afraid of getting my photograph taken because it will solidify in my mind how far I've strayed from my ideal "body image." I am starting to look more like Elena Kagan than Alia Shawkat each and every day.
I have a fear of losing control, and it has limited me because I often don't allow myself to give in to the exhaustion and challenge. I need to admit that this is hard sometimes, and it's ok.
I fear being unable to take care of myself both physically and financially. Unmarried with no children and not so close to nieces and nephews I have no one to lean on as I age. At "middle age" you start to think about those things.
The benign heart palpitations freaked me out every time I feel one. They don't hurt but they scare me because it feels so not normal. The fear has caused anxiety, panic and trips to see medical professionals. I'm not sure what I'm afraid of. Dying, maybe. Or all of the icky medical things that could happen. This year and I'm sure well into next, I'm working to change my mindset from one of fear to acceptance. Whether or not I have this benign condition, eventually, my body will die. My time here is short. But I am infinite. I am one with the universe, born of the universe, and to the universe, I must return. I know God is alive within me. I am one with God. Learning how to take comfort in the thought I am a part of a continuum, is challenging, but sustaining. I want to live this life while I am here and not worry about my life when I leave here.
I worry I'll end up alone. Or I worry that Rob is the best I'll ever get and that's therefore what I deserve. I don't want to settle, but Sunday nights are hard. I really want to focus on not using male attention to make me feel better about myself on lonely nights. I need to stop worrying about my future, and continue to bask in the present.
So many answers coming back to the same thing this year. For so long, I was held back -- literally and figuratively -- by my weight. Now that I'm closing in on a number on the scale I haven't seen since college, I am going to need to really face and try to conquer my lingering fears and insecurities. It was easy to blame some (all) of those on being overweight. But I'm not going to have that to hide behind much longer. So that's a little (lot) scary.
I fear that I do not possess enough masculine potency to move in the world in way that I want and am expected to. I plan on learning to love those starved parts of my being more intimately, fully, and curiously.
I fear making mistakes. I fear not being perfect. It limits me because everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. I plan on continuing therapy and trying to strike a balance in my life. I need to be more open to criticism and stop beating myself up so much. I need to learn to let go.
The crisis, the raise of populism and racism in Germany, Europe and the USA. I fell so much fear because of it. But I am willing to overcome my fear and try to live a good life, though. I do not let these situations to pull me down.
I'm scared to put myself out there. I don't like being wrong, so I sometimes don't even try. I avoid asking questions in class, though I have classes that push me to participate. I remain reserved in large groups of people and when meeting new people. This year, I hope to push myself even more, both in classes and in social situations. I will try to meet new people and be more open and engaging to new situations. I tend to fear change, but I am working to get past that.
I am afraid of being dismissed and unneeded. I fear that my children and husband (and sometimes my friends, extended family, and various communities) won’t want me around or aren’t interested in the things I want, do, think or feel. I fear that I am not contributing enough, not making an impact, and not helping the world be a better place through direct action. I fear that I will have no legacy, nothing that people will remember me for or share with pleasure and fondness after I am gone. I plan on continuing to wrestle with these fears by loving more and reminding myself to be my best self even when it feels like no one cares or no one is watching. I will keep speaking my truth in various ways and I will keep helping wherever I feel like I can help.
A fear I have that limits me is … Public failure? Public shame? How do I plan on letting it go? On overcoming it in the coming year? I am held back in almost all of my efforts - why try when you know you'll fail. So perhaps collecting failures will be my 2017 "Year Of …" moto? Overcoming inertia Time to work harder, eh Casey? I'm afraid I'll do my best, and people will point and laugh at me - Tech writing class at MC - knock on wood - fuck. But really I need to let it go. More than enough like me, so give it a shot. //10.14.16::s:://
I am still working on my fear of failure, but making progress. It no longer looks so much like fear of failure as it appears to be more a fear of "not good enough." I look around me at people simply pursuing interests and dreams for the sheer pleasure of self-expression. They aren't concerned with making an "A." It is the experience, the exploration they value. And that is enough because it makes them feel alive. That's what I crave. Feeling joyfully alive! It is where I will put my focus this year.
The limiting fear I have is that I can't just be myself - the "me" who lets it all hang out at home and doesn't care what I look like, how I behave, or what bodily functions happen (TMI?) - the laid back version of me who is herself when alone in her own home is not the same person I present when I'm in others' company, even close family's. I'm not saying I want to forego manners or be a boorish person all the time. I'm saying I want to feel comfortable being myself around those I trust. Similarly, the other thing I tend to fear, is being completely honest about how I feel or think about things, with others. The first fear limits me by never allowing me to feel fully relaxed around anyone and I maintain the belief that I "can't just be myself" because all the gross, natural, human things that make up EVERY person's physical, functioning being is somehow unacceptable for me to display. The second fear limits me insofar as appearing timid, meek, and weak in my convictions, when I actually have very strong opinions and beliefs about many issues. I'm not sure how to go about overcoming the first fear, other than to be aware of it as it happens and slowly, make strides in being more laid back around family first, and then around others. The second fear, I've already started making changes toward expressing myself in ways that align my beliefs with my behaviours so that I can say I am a person of integrity. I would like to be even stronger in my activism, so I can be a better ally to people.
I am going to let go of my resentments this year. I am going to let go of my expectations about my spouse's career/monetary contributions. I am going to let go of my frustration at our differences in work ethic. I am going to choose acceptance and love for a whole year. There are so many things I love about my spouse and our relationship and he is my best friend, but I have been stuck for years in a bind. Afraid that he would be unable to take care of me were I to really need it. And afraid that he is taking advantage of me by not contributing more substantially to our way of life. But I am not willing to end the relationship over this...I don't want to. Nor could I stand being around someone more like me...I already drive myself crazy. Thus I choose love this year!
Oh I am TERRIFIED of messing up and being deemed a failure, or not good enough, or worthless. It's limited me because I'm scared to try new things, or even to try the same things when I think someone might evaluate me. I'm scared to make decisions if there's a chance someone might call them wrong. I'm stuck in a limbo now on no particular life path because I'm afraid to choose the wrong one, and afraid that I won't move forward on whatever one I do choose. I plan to focus on what I want and on taking action in the coming year, and staving off the judge at the door.
Huge fear around others being disappointed or embarrassed by me - what I think and feel and behave. I'm building my business around it to help others but I believe in walking the talk and sharing my story. Being more and being my best self for my kids is a big motivator. Keep moving forward and up.
I have so many. Fear of losing my family, esp my dad. Fear of my past self/selves. Fear of stagnation and lost opportunities. Etc. The limitations are numerous but they are, in themselves, also opportunities for change and growth. I just have to continue to find ways to be kind to myself, to be a guardian (reference to a story about how trauma is like Lord of the Rings and if we are like Pippin and Merry then we don't hide from the trauma but we speak our truths so that others can learn from them), etc. Allowing myself to grieve the losses (of self, of the intangibles and of people, or who those people used to be and never can be again) is such an important act. Gratitude is, for me, far more powerful than forgiveness because it focuses on what's helpful rather than giving energy to that which was not. Sometimes it's better to just ignore the bullies and trolls and reach out to those who were being attacked instead, with love and support...esp if that person is yourself. Fear causes us to act in ways that are scripted and primal. Not helpful. Not rational. Not based on present realities. Every moment is an opportunity. But those opportunities, that infinity is contracted and narrowed into a single, intensified, concentrated focus of negativity when we give in to our fears. Fear is protective though which is why gratitude is so important as well. Thank you for trying to protect me from the saber tooth tiger that doesn't exist. Or thank you for protecting me from the sabertooth tiger that _used_ to exist. And it's true, you never know...it might come back. But come with me and let's operate out of the assumption that it doesn't. Let's be prepared but not out of fear. Simply as a way to care for ourselves. Love.
Oh, I know the answer to this one. Fear of messing up. FOMU. Messing up raising Jakob, messing up saying the wrong thing to Jens, messing up getting distracted at work and not finishing on time or missing important information, messing up not getting home on time, ruining the routine, messing with Jakob's sleep, not feeding him the right foods for healthy development or the right balance of calcium, fats, iron, veggies. I plan on using therapy to help me with this one. And getting in touch with my inner Ner Tamid. She's great at helping me remember my self-love.
So many around me seem to have found their calling. Or, at least appear successful in there field enough to be witnessed. They have a company, a cause, a clearly branded vision of themselves and what they are bringing to this world. Yes, clearly this may be mostly superficial and has no bearing on how they actually feel.. but I cant help but feel that I am not 'packaging' any 'gift' of mine, I am not creating anything that could be considered impactful, bettering to society or creating a legacy of any kind. Yes, on a micro level- Yes I am. My friendships. My family. And Yes, we all turn to dust in the end. Yes, even the most impressive and impacting figures in history that contributed to the bettering of our daily life have faded into the unobserved ether... And yet, I was hoping I would be contributing to something substantially worthwhile by now. Part of it yes, is vanity. I would like my name to be associated with something good, but also to relieve my sense of guilt. That I have been so blessed in so many ways, and that I played my cards right. That I gave back. It would be an expression of my gratitude. That I produced something worthwhile with all these blessings. Otherwise, they were 'wasted' on me. I want to write the childrens book this year. Produce that story that has been floating around in my head for too many years now. Dedicate it to Her. What I should have done years ago. This year, I want to put myself on paper. And if this one book makes even a small difference to somebody- thats all I want. It will be good enough for me.
Too many to count, I find that with age a lot of my fears have fallen away. Now there's just the big one; fear of death.
I was really torn about what to write here because my biggest, deepest, darkest fear is so big, so well-entrenched, that the notion I could let it go or overcome it in this coming year is, well, so laughable it's downright disheartening and demotivating. But I'm not sure I'm really afraid of anything else. I am afraid of loss and abandonment. Because of my history. (Including the childhood I lived through and my epigenetics too, someday science will prove that my mom's childhood contributed to this as well, I'm sure) I organize (have organized? still organize?) my whole life to avoid or prevent Loss. And loss can be distance or disconnection not to mention physical loss or relationship loss or death/disease/divorce loss. This limits me and my relationships in so many ways. I ice people out prematurely. I leave people before they can leave me. I spend far too many car rides alone rehearsing the funeral planning for my loved ones, tears streaming down my face. I don't tolerate disappointment well. I have a hard time forgiving and moving past the interpersonal mistakes of others. I walk through life assuming people don't like me---because to assume the opposite and be wrong seems less painful. But then I feel alone and cold and hardened. a piece of hard candy with so much sweetness inside. I've worked hard on this fear for a while. 6.5 years in therapy. I've made progress. One thing that works? Responding to the fear of loved ones dying with deep moments of tearful gratitude. (Thanks Brene Brown!) Learning and re-learning over and over and over again that Grief is the cost of Love and when we feel so ripped open by Loss it's painful and it's a sign that we have Loved which is the Greatest Thing We Can Do As Humans. I remain moved by Sheldon Kopp's words, which I discovered this year: "What makes it seem unbearable is your mistaken belief that it can be cured." Maybe that changes everything. Maybe it changes nothing. Loss is still Loss. Painful "I can't breathe" Loss. But maybe the pain lingers longer---because I am holding my breath for a cure. There is no cure. There is no antidote. So just exhale. I have no plan in a specific sense for this upcoming year--except to keep plugging away at this. This fear built up over 27+ years so it may take as many years to grind this stone wall down to grains of sand. And yet I feel okay with that. This will take a while. That can be part of the plan for now.
The fear of power has limited me. This year, I will embrace the power I have and learn how to use it in ways that are holistic not just to myself but to others. I also want to help others who feel powerless to claim their own power.
Ah, my fear of being inadequate at work. I hope I work through that next year. And my fear of being an inadequate person in general. Friend, lover. I want to feel good about myself. Smart. I feel so dumb.
I kind of have a fear, I guess, of really managing my staff at work well. I am always afraid that they won't like me. I am trying to overcome it, but it's hard. I don't really want to manage people and I didn't become a teacher to manage staff. But I'm trying.
I have a fear that every time I fall in love with someone, I will lose focus with my violin and get distracted. A solution that seems to be okay so far is simply having an unconditional love for all the good souls in my life, and not only does it make me feel stronger and happier, but it also allows me to not put anyone up on a special pedestal. At least for now... maybe I will find another, better solution someday.
I'm afraid that when I come out to my friends that they'd reject me or stop being affectionate with me from fear that it would mean something more. It's preventing me from coming out to them. In addition my fear that my christian friends will think being gay is a bad thing stops me from coming out to them. I'm.. going to take a lot of baby steps (and occasional big leaps), both in accepting liking girls for myself, and in being open about it and communicating it to the people around me. (PS I JUST came out to a group of online friends, as we speak!! wahh Im shaking!!)
My fear is of being un-aggressive. Maybe I take up boxing. Another is a fear of alienating my wife in my frustration with her profound stasis. Don't know how to solve this. Another is how will my daughter get to where she wants to go. And what can I do to help, without getting in the way.
A fear that I have is that I don't know enough about the way things work in the business or philanthropy. It's limited me because it causes hesitation as I act. A constant sense of I'm still a newb and I need to learn more. I'm afraid that I don't have emotions and that'll impact my ability to be in relationships. To be able to build something sustainable and lovely. I'm working through this one. One by being more risky with my vulnerability as seen with Hexter. Being in tune with myself really helps with this. For instance my body has given me a full stop. That I should listen to what might be good for me given what I've been through. The most important thing is making sure I have the space there to actually listen.
My dependence on what I idolize. It limits me because it overcomes my thoughts. I plan on getting more involved in my church and my faith to keep me occupied.
Money. Figure out how to begin to make decisions based on other factors. Really trusting G-d/life more.
I am afraid personally about my health, memory, heart. I spend way too much time thinking about it. I obsess on my medications, sleep patterns etc. I could talk honestly to my doctor instead of diagnosing myself all the time. I really need to improve diet and exercise. LIVE IN THE MOMENT Allow your thoughts to soften and just be loving to others and myself. Fear the increasing signs of racism and sexism that has been erupting in this election. There is a reason why Donald Trump has polls in the 40%. Hillary's basket of deplorables exist. I would like to understand because I know people are basically good.
I think I have a crippling fear of being unhappy. Incredible vague of course, but for some reason whenever something bad happens, even if it just mildly annoys me, my brain plays me this little showreel in which I extrapolate that event into months and months of misery. If my flatmate pisses me off once, I can vividly picture an entire year in which we hate each other and eventually have a big fight leading to me having to sublet and find another roommate and oh god what will everyone think and what a stress etc etc... And I can trace that tendency to extrapolate back to every freak out I have - it's never related to what's actually happened, it's panicking about what could happen. Why do I do this?!! I'm already sort of trying to tackle it, but not always successfully. I can't get away from this completely false belief that I can somehow predict the future. I'm smart, but not that smart. I guess I have to just try and take every challenge at face value - x person is being annoying NOW, today, but that doesn't mean it'll always be like that. X challenge is difficult today, but that doesn't mean I'll always find work impossible. Time to be realistic and not overthink things so much.
I fear not finding love. I fear that I stop myself from finding love because "I'm not ready" due to my body and mind. I want to work at feeling healthier physically so I feel better mentally.
I continually fear that I am not a good rabbi or an authentic rabbi, I'm not traditional enough...I want to be just-a-rabbi...just Jewish and live in the truth of being dedicated to bringing people closer to Jewish life, expanding or deepening their Jewish identity. And that mission is what inspired me to be a rabbi in the first place!
I'm afraid that I'm not good enough. Not smart enough. handsome enough. charismatic enough. happy enough hardworking enough I don't know exactly how to overcome it. Some ideas: Meditation Self reflection Therapy Exercise Eating well But to be specific about self-reflection: 1. Think about times when I have acted in ways opposite to my fears 2. If my friend came to me with these things, how would I react to them? 3. What's the positive version of this story? 4. Do I really think that person X is better than me? (The answer is almost always "they're better in some areas, but I'd rather have my life than theirs." That's huge!)
A fear I have that's really stupid and absolutely holds me back is that my house is not good enough. "Not good enough for whom?" you might ask. I'm not really sure. Guests, I guess. I do know that my house is old and in need of some serious updating -- cabinet refacing, new carpet, a paint job and more. For some reason, my husband doesn't seem to see the flaws, but then again, I am definitely more critical than he is and I scrutinize things more. Since he doesn't see the flaws the way I do, he's not inclined to make fixes. He also is very cautious with spending money, which is actually a really good thing, but can occasionally be really trying. But because I feel like my house isn't up to date, I'm not inclined to host guests and that's so sad for me. I love socializing and I love cooking, so I love having folks over. And ironically, having guests over prompts me to keep things clean and as nice as possible, so it's really a win-win. I think in the coming year, I need to, as my neighbor said today, "Lead with love." Rather than disliking my house, my kitchen, the carpet, etc. I can love the fact that I have secure shelter and a space in which to entertain and even house guests. A few years ago I had a party for some gal pals. I scrubbed and scoured and vacuumed and made the place look amazing ... and no one noticed. And I don't say that in a bad way. We were all having such a good time that no one took the time to inspect the house. Indeed, everyone had such fun that they asked me to host another party. Clearly, I need to work on lightening up and not caring about what others might think. I need to take to heart more the second and third of Don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements: Number 2. Don’t Take Anything Personally and Number 3. Don’t Make Assumptions. Smart advice. I look forward to getting past this fear of not being enough so I can share myself and my home with others and benefit from my own generosity by growing in love.
Just falling behind on my studies. This year has been a struggle to balance keeping on top of work with having fun. I haven't achieved the balance yet but I think I'm much closer.
Surprisingly, one of my biggest challenges/fears is simply giving too many fucks about stuff. Even if I tell myself not to, it sits in my consciousness pestering me for ages. I've accepted that I take most criticism personally in some shape or form, and that this is actually ok. It's what you do about it afterwards that counts. In general, letting go of more stuff or deciding some things don't matter at specific times makes it a lot easier to focus on the stuff that does.
I have a longstanding fear of falling short or making some kind of error or appearing foolish or coming across the wrong way in written communication. So I belabor it, obsess over it, avoid ot. This of course involves social media. I am going to try to force myself to get into the water a bit. Maybe just up to my knees this year, but that would be a good start.
fear of never making headway against the forces of entropy and loss. one day at a time. i have good ideas, i have good projects. i am moving forward, tho' it is more slowly that i would like. spending money is one way to force it, so i need to save more in the intervening months.
My fear has to do with my health; I want to stay independent. Parkinson's physical detriments are very real and very scary. I will continue to take therapy and classes on how to stay strong mentally and physically and take each day as it comes. I do not like to ask for help but appreciate it when offered. I will continue to follow all educational information on this disease and work with doctors, etc. on what I can continue to try (new meds etc.).
I fear that I won't find a relationship for a long time. I am afraid that I won't find a loving relationship in time to have children and start a family. In my worst moments, I fear that it's "too late" and that my single friends and I have missed the train. That we will increasingly be SOL b/c the odds are good that the goods are odd. That I am not sexually or romantically desirable, or at least less so with each year. (Another part of me very strong feels this is not true, just for the record). To let it go (I like that better than "overcome") - see #7 re keeping the faith and deciding what story to tell myself.
Not sure on this one. My biggest fear is around the election coming up right now... and even if Hillary is the president when I read this again in 2017, the high levels of hate and fear that have been displayed and the gutter level discourse is frightening. How will we overcome it? How will we break down barriers between various social and cultural groups in our communities? I hope that I am doing things that help me expand my "bubble" and am doing work in Durham - volunteer or paid - across different parts of our community.
I have a fear of being called a fake. Ever heard the expression "Fake it 'til you make it"??? I felt a shift this year in a lot of my efforts -- singing, teaching, parenting, relating -- sometimes I felt like I had more answers and clarity than other times, much like the shimmer of sparkling lights I see on the surface of water.
My worst fear is that I fantasize too much about women who aren't my wife. I feel it has limited me because it colors the way I interact with women. My hope is that by resisting the copmulsive urge to masturbate when alone I can shift my partial view of any woman I meet as potential for sex.
I wouldn't say this is a fear exactly, but I have a fair amount of anxiety about my career. I'm getting kind of old for the job I do, but there isn't really a clear career path other than trying to become the director of a group that does what I do. So I either have to embrace mediocrity or get over my fear and lack of desire of being a leader in my field. And/Or find a mentor.
I am afraid of not being good enough. I am afraid that my grades aren't good enough to land me a great job; I am afraid that I'm not skinny or sexy enough to find love; I am afraid that I have not reached my full potential even though I tell myself that I have. All of these things are in my control. I can't let them go because they are very real fears and concerns. The only thing I can do is try to fix them -- to study really hard and get straight As for the remainder of college, to work out a ton and try really hard to lose weight, to follow through on the things I say I'm going to do and only then will I be able to reach my full potential. I am not afraid of anything else. Besides roller coasters.
I'm not sure if it is a fear of failure or general insecurity that has kept me from being where I want with my career. All of the above probably. In the next year, I am hoping to tackle this fear and squash it and tear it to pieces and laugh at its corpse.
I'm afraid of not seeming capable. Of not making everything around me the best it can be. It leaves me drained and resentful. I've started a class to learn how not to be responsible for others, that's my first step.
1. Sitting next to someone with a Galaxy 7 phone on a plane. 2. Fear of the gun culture in this country. 3. Fear that Trump won't die away. 4. Fear of losing people close to me. 5. Fear of Islamic extremists ruining the civilized world. 6. Fear of growing anti-Semitism and anti-Israel sentiment in this country and worldwide. I don't have any plans to let go of my fears, but neither do I plan on letting them overwhelm me.
My fear is that the cancer will get me before I am done with whatever it is I want to do, or am supposed to do before I die. My fear is that I will die before I have learned how to live. The only way I can deal with that is to appreciate the present and to learn to let go of that which does not matter in the "after" of my storm(s). What would I be doing if I knew I had terminal cancer? Would that necessarily be different from what I would be doing after being healed of cancer? How now shall I live? That is the question.
I have a strange fear of selling myself. This has never been a strength and although I know that I am awesome. Saying to the world that I am awesome has always been hard. I plan on letting go of this by striving to achieve my work career goals. I now understand that I need to reach out ask and grab things that I want. No more being afraid of myself, of better things of success. I deserve happiness, success & fullfillment.
I am afraid that I'm not good enough. I'm too fat, too tall. I'm not beautiful. I lack confidence and I'm scared. I'm closed off-- and I have been for too long. I want to open up- to myself most importantly... and to others. Love and be loved. I'm 30 now... no turning back. I am beautiful- inside AND out. I can't let these thoughts hold me back anymore. Life is too short to spend it wallowing in self deprecation. I'm going to try new things, attend events with people I don't know and introduce myself. I'm going to dress for my body and do so in a way that makes me feel beautiful! This is my year. THIRTY is my new start.
I don't know that I have any real fears, although at 70, I am very aware of my mortality. I want to take advantage of as many trips and activities as I can in the coming years and FaceTime as often as I can with those I love.
That I'm not good enough strong enough, honest enough, that I'm two-faced and sheepish. That I at 40 should know who I am and be brave. That I've somehow let people down and done life wrong.
I still fear for my parents health. I have been trying to get all my responsibilities in line and put things in order to have a calmer life. I have been under a lot of stress these past few months and hope it does not affect my health.
I think that over the past year, I have begun to understand that my fear of weight gain is mostly a fear of change and of living in the grey space and of entering into the unknown. Letting go of that requires letting go of the "should"--what I should look like, how I should seem to others, who I should be. Overcoming this requires shedding rules, and allowing for the possibility of becoming--and shaping the story to my present moment and intuition rather than trying to shoehorn myself into a preconceived idea of what is meant to be. Letting go of "should" allows me the space to grow into what could be.
fear of talking too much and interrupting. I am trying to be more mindful
A fear of quitting sugar, that I'll be face to face with whatever is making me addicted: maybe anxiety, loneliness, grief. Maybe I won't feel any of that. Maybe I'll just feel better. So I PLAN on allowing sugar only for communal celebrations (weddings, etc) . I'm afraid of learning how to use my complicated sewing machine. Sounds so dumb. So I PLAN to watch the tutorial soon. And just sew. I'm afraid to reach out to create friendships. I don't know how or where to start. So I PLAN to make an effort in 2017
I am afraid 2010 was my only shot at becoming a mom and I wasted it.
Sadly it is the same as last year. I play it small too often. I shy away from risk in many forms, emotional, financial, social, work, etc. I could try to justify it as wise caution, but I know the truth.
I fear that my Dad's illness and impending reliance on my finances will lead me to accept a position that stifles my creativity and intellect, drains my emotional energy, and requires unnatural amounts of extroversion just because it pays a six-figure salary. I am currently trying to overcome this fear by networking relentlessly and searching for jobs that challenge/inspire me and allow me the safety to be who I really am. I am constantly praying that God will open a door for me in the next few months and give me the courage to decline positions that are not the right fit for me. I am praying for the patience to wait well, to trust in God's sovereignty, and to be brave.
Getting my PhD. I've made such a big investment in the journey and I've been relying on it being my ticket to greater things. But at the same time, given the lack of support and feeling like I'm a target, I haven't allowed myself to enjoy the small gains I made along the way. I mean - I handed in and I didn't even tell my best friends and colleagues! For the coming year, I can only hope that I'll be awarded the degree and it can finally be over. Furthermore, the uncertainty regarding Kaitlyn's upbringing... it doesn't so much make me fearful, but it does limit what I think is her potential in life. I think I've been fairly good in not allowing this to encompass my thoughts, but it's still there. She's a remarkable little women and I can only pray that she grows into everything she's meant to be and that no animosity or ugliness comes out amongst her parents.
I'm scared of having children. I'm scared of my life changing, I'm scared of becoming like Nicole, of being depressed or anxious or uptight with a new born. I'm scared of having an autistic child like Itay's brother. I'm scared of giving birth. I'm scared of our sex life becoming bad, I'm scared of losing my sex drive. How can I let it go? Well, the alternative is to be childless. I think we should start having more conversations about what kind of parents we want to be, start thinking about it like a huge project we both want to take on, get excited by the idea of it, by how much love we are going to feel for each other and our child, by how amazing it is, really. Talk about ourselves and we what we want for our children. Hopefully, within a year I'll be ready.
Someone very wise told me once that the only real fear we can have is fear of death, but while that may be true, I also fear letting happiness pass me by, because I'm too afraid to reach out and grab it with two hands, too afraid to make that large change or total commitment.
I'm terrified of driving my van. This is ongoing and it's been a while now, although I used to drive back and forth to work when I taught at night at the university. I'm not sure I can overcome it, but since my husband has Parkinson's I'm going to have to put my mind and heart to driving and stepping up.
I'm afraid of getting stuck. I've always had something of that fear - of being locked in, unable to get away. After spending nine years in a marriage that ended up abusive, crushing, and painful, that fear has only increased. I feel good about committing to my partner - him I have no questions about. But committing to a job is difficult for me - I'm afraid I'll be trapped in something awful. I've recently decided on an academic route, and I feel good about it, but I'm afraid this fear will make me doubt it and hinder my progress. However, this is something I've been actively working on. I've been choosing to make decisions and stick with them. I think I'm moving forward, and I think my confidence and stability is growing. I plan to continue in this direction, and to stick with the decisions I make while allowing myself the option to pick a different direction if it turns out to be a harmful choice.
My biggest fear is life in general. I have my Bachelor's degree and just received my Masters in a field that I love and want to spend my entire life doing it. But what if I can't? What if I've spent all this time and money and end up teaching religious school for my whole life. What was the point of it all if I can't do what I love? If I'm not good enough to get a job in my field? As for letting go or overcoming, I honestly don't know. I think that the only thing I can do is stay positive and keep applying to jobs.
This sounds horrible, but ever since my dad died three years ago I live in a very quiet, back-of-the-burner fear that my mother is going to die soon too. I know it's not true. She's young (he was too) and relatively healthy (he was not) and I know I have a lot of time left with her, but I'm terrified all the same. It makes me stress a lot, and it makes my interactions with her taste sour in my mouth. Because even while I tell her I love her, and while I do everything I can to make her happy, I can't help but wonder... am I doing this because I'm a good person and genuinely want to make her happy? Or am I doing it because my subconscious thinks she'll be gone by next week and I'll feel guilty if I didn't?
I fear that there is something wrong with me physically. There have been times in my life that I have held more dread around this, and now it's a smaller fear that comes and goes. It's a more active fear when I don't feel well (physically) -- which happens especially when I eat poorly and/or don't get enough exercise. But I have had this pain-in-my-left-side for years, and have gotten used to it, and there's always some level of worry that there's something dangerous at the root of it -- like cancer, or something. Also with the fact that I sometimes have to urinate many times. And I think that I should talk to a doctor, but then I think about how expensive it adds up to be when you get tests done and go to many appointments, and then I start to worry about finances, which is really another issue, but obviously it's intertwined, at least in our present society.
I'm terribly afraid of being rejected. This fear is capable of crippling my life. I don't have a plan, exactly, but I do know that I need to practice resting in love: God's love, C's love, my family's love, the love of my friends, and the love that draws me toward the work that I do. If the universe would like to place a plan in my hands, I'm waiting.
I'm afraid that marriage and children will make me act without integrity. Because my priorities will have to shift from my friends to my immediate family, forcing me to put my boyfriend or husband (a man) before my girlfriends. Or, in order to maintain my integrity to my girlfriends, I'll have to give up my art. This stresses me out beyond belief! :( I just feel like it's really hard to undo the patriarchy and it's not clear how I can do that in my own life.
Yes, the fear is the same it has been. The fear of throwing up. I'm not sure the best way to overcome it but put myself in those "scary" situations more - go out to a bar, club, etc. watch my friends drink a bit and see they are completely functional and won't get sick. I also recently received a therapist's info that I think can help so I want to investigate that as an option as well. IF I can find something that will help me overcome this, I want to do it.
My most limiting fear is that of not being able to make money or have enough money to last through my retirement and old age. I plan on overcoming this by building multiple streams of income as I am guided to by Spirit. I am also grateful for all that I do have and how I have been supported and taken care of in all things all my life. I know that the true source of all abundance is Spirit.
I'm terrified of my parents getting older and sicker. It's already started and I don't feel competent or able to deal with this issue. I need to keep preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. I need to get mom and dad out here and living closer to me so I can watch over them.
I am now confronting my own mortality. My mother passed away quietly several states away at her retirement home during the height of the hurricane here on the South Carolina coast. That means, with Dad and Mom out of the way, that I am the next generation, and the older one between me and my brother. Just facing that is sobering. However, all of us face "life sentences" with no way out of the final journey. So I need to focus on living the fullest, richest life possible. I do not want to sit on the rocking chair on the porch to await the Grim Reaper: I want him to have to put on track shoes and run me down before he gets me.
I thought everything was under control....that I knew exactly what was going to happen....and then it all went to hell in a handbasket. I should know better. But I was so hopeful that everything was coming together perfectly. Now I'm afraid that none of my plans will work out, that the change from part-time to full-time won't happen, and I'll be left not knowing what's next. I've dealt with uncertainty before. I can do this.
I am terrified of the possibility that Donald Trump could be our new president. Terrified.
Fear of failing to fulfill obligations to others is clouding my imagination about what the future could look like. I honestly don't know how to move past it, but I think I need to try to put the fear in a box in a corner while I focus my thinking on ideas with more generative potential.
I have a few probably; that I'm not always good enough or deserving of what I have. I just need to keep working through things and then I won't feel that way hopefully
I have social anxiety. This has been something I've coped with my entire life, and I'm slowly getting better at dealing with social situations as I get older. I want to continue to work on it this year. One big fear that stems from the social anxiety is the fear of being judged by other people. This has prevented me from being myself around strangers and hiding certain details about my life, for example my interests in cosplay and video games, which many people deem "childish." I would like to work on not caring what people think of me. I'm not sure what specifically I can do to improve myself in this area, but I know making myself go to more social events and meet new people definitely helps. Conventions in particular are helpful, because people there tend to be more approachable and accepting than a random stranger. So I will continue to practice talking to people and being more open about who I really am, and hopefully my anxiety will be even less next year.
I fear that I don't know enough. However my yoga training has shown that is false. I do know quite enough and I should just trust myself to be able to succeed.
The fear of failure is something that has been hovering over my mind for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, I had always been a straight A student, able to answer and understand any question that I was asked. This led me to gain an image as the “person who never gets things wrong.” This mindset carried over after I graduated from middle school and started attended high school. This psyche would prove to be detrimental to my high school career. During classes I would never speak up if I had the slightest doubt about an answer to a question. I could not handle being wrong, and did not want to be seen as someone who gets things wrong. This also affected me outside of the classroom as well. If there was a question that I had about something in a subject, I would not go to the teacher because I believed doing so would make me look “stupid.” Even though I knew intellectually that this flawed thought process was the mark of stupidity, I still would not seek out any teachers. This reasoning continued throughout my first three years of high school. As a result of these foolish actions, my grades suffering more and more as time went on. This year, I aimed to put a stop to this mindset. During the past summer, I spent a great deal of time reflecting on the negative way of thinking which has adversely affected me throughout high school. It was not only a matter of knowing in my mind that my actions were illogical and counterproductive, but for my heart to understand it fully as well. If I did not stop following this self-destructive pattern, my academic development would not progress. When school started this past September, I tried my hardest to resist against the harmful instincts ingrained in my mind. This year, I have answered questions during my classes, even when I was not sure that I would be correct. I have even sought out help from some of my teachers after school for help. I have started to break the poisonous cycle that has plagued me for years. As a result, my grades have changed for the better.
I have a fear for my sister and it is one of the biggest factors in me returning home at the end of my contract. I know I can not be with her 24/7 and she will make her own decisions, but I want to be there to support her. I think I will always have this fear.
I am not afraid.
I have come to a head with my greatest fear this year: my mother. My fear of her has limited me tremendously. I have been too afraid of her to spend extra time with friends, to even hang out with them at all. I flinch at the sight of her name on my phone or the harsh sound of her voice. But now she hates me. At the very least, she does not love me anymore. And this lifts a great weight off my shoulders. Because she doesn't love me anymore, I don't care what she thinks of me. I already know she things poorly of me and she doesn't trust me; no matter what I do, I can't change her mind and I won't try. I feel so much freer now. But I still haven't let go her or of trying to keep her happy, I'm still in her grasp. Over the next year, if she doesn't move as soon as I need her to for the sake of my sanity, then I will. I have to give up on the idea of making her happy because I know now that I can't. And I never could. If I had to hide myself and the things that are important to me from her, I never had a chance of making her happy or even truly making her proud of me, and not just my accomplishments. I should've realized that a long time ago and I'm sad that I've wasted so much time on deceiving myself. I need to move on from her, and the only way to do that is to get out of this toxic situation I'm surviving in and take myself away from her and into a happy, healthy situation. I deserve that much. So, in short, I'm going to move out or she is but what will basically happen is: I need to stop living my life with concern for the feelings of someone who doesn't not truly and unconditionally care about me, the way a mother always should.
Right now I am not focused on fears, but just loving my new job and the freedom it has given me to be stress free.
Oh my goodness - so many fears!! Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of public speaking, fear of raising my children wrong (guess that counts as failure), fear of not being loved (but then I have children, so hopefully that will never happen :) ) I want to stop being fearful. Especially of the things I do outside of work - I want to be brave and strong, and to believe in myself. If there is a chance I could live a life where my job is doing what I love, then I will need to take steps to make that happen - and be brave enough to let the outside world see me shine! If I have a big idea, I will try to break it down into smaller and more manageable projects. Start small, have little wins and then (hopefully!) there will be a bigger, finished outcome that will be awesome! (thinking about my doco specifically)
My fear is not getting the energy back that I had before my injury and subsequent surgery. I no longer work as effectively as I did and want to find steps to work smarter not harder, be more efficient and still enjoy my employment.
My fear is disappointing the people I love in a way that I can't change, and I have no idea how to overcome that.
I'm afraid of my parents fearing my interest in religious Judaism. And I tried to not let it hold me back this year but it did anyway. I plan on still easing my parents into my Judaism, and hoping that they accept me on my journey.
I still have a fer of travelling to far away places alone and beyond that going somewhere by myself. I recently went to a dance performance alone and I really enjoyed it but being there by myself was hard. I have now the added fear of leaving the house overnight since the robbery. I know I can't let this make me a prisoner but I realize after leaving work late by 15 minuts the other day how not well I'm dealing with this. I am so anxious and afraid at the same time to get home after work. I let it affect how I spoke to 2 of the people I work with and now I have an added fear. I am always worried about my job security and this recent episode may very well have me in jeopardy. My plan for this is to work much harder staying under the radar, something I swore to myself I would do once I returned to Psychiatry. I just pray I haven't pushed this to a point of no repair. As for the travel and going places and to events alone, I will continue to work on making this happen. I also will try to reach out to other women I know and try to develop more friendships. My physical abilities are declining, I gave up mowing the lawn this past two months to the tune of $75 per mow, I can't afford this and I will have to go back to mowing the lawn myself next summer. The house and gargage needs work and I don't have the money for it. I can't stay in the house much longer, it needs so much more than I can give. By this time next year I have to have a plan.
I don't know how better to phrase it, but one of my greatest fears is of my Jungian Shadow. I don't know what kind of cruelty I'm capable of - I think this inability to recognise and face the Shadow of my own identity is limiting the kind of person I could be. I guess reflecting every day in a journal could help with that, and hopefully a trip to a childhood home to face my past and be done with it.
I have a fear of doctors. It has limited my access to healthcare. However, it has also spurred me to learn a lot and experience the world of alternative medicine. As a first step, I enrolled in a program about allergies with a teacher I trust. She is also a physician and I will meet functional medicine doctors and Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctors, and Allopathic Care Doctors. I trust that this will give me a safe way back in to modern medicine and heal this fear.
Fear of inadequacy is my greatest stumbling block at this point. Not sure how to proceed with that. What do I mean by inadequacy? I mean feeling that I am not the best person to answer the challenges facing me or my company or my relationships. This causes me to waste time and causes harm to those things for which I a responsible. You are the smartest guy in the room, Johnny Boy, so set one of those flags you have to spot the capitulation-because-of-false-inadequacy.
I strongly fear that I'm being blacklisted from working in my industry and that someone may be hacking into my computer. I plan to test these theories by doing some research and getting some help from recruiters.
My fear is & always will be fear of harm to my kids & loved one . I can not overcome it. I can try not to think of it as much. I have 2 out of 3 kids in a different state ,so I always pray for their safety of all 3 at all times.
My major fear, which has always been really, is being alone and that the love of my life will leave me for someone "better". It has limited me in the sense that Kota can feel my insecurities and it feeds into my immature behavior and thinking. I hate it. I have thought about contacting my father to say hello and to let him know my progress. A lot of my friends think that if I made amends with him that a lot of these fears would go away. I don't 100% see the connection, but it could be worth a shot. What would it hurt?
New experiences and being new/inexperienced can be difficult for me, I plan on finding strategies that could help me work to overcome that.
I'm afraid I'm not enough to do what I hope to do. It's a fear I've had a long time. It has diminished and I know it will become smaller all the time. I just plan to face it the best I can every time and not be hard on myself.
Financial fear has been huge for me this year. I need to stay focused on my career and seek out opportunities to grow and evolve professionally, so that I reach a point where I don't need to worry anymore.
"Play the hand you are dealt, like it was the one you wanted" (Unknown). I am working on breathing , meditation, yoga, and learning to appreciate the hand I have been dealt. I can change the way I react, and that will change my path.
My fear is that this thing falls apart and then we have to discern again what to do. To get over it just means standing on and believing His promises. He is with me, for me, and is committed to growing me into the man He designed me to be.
Im terrified of failure. I grew up in a family where failure was never the answer. For me, failure is more than just a bad grade on a test. It has also always been not understanding what is going on. I feel legitimately frightened and frustrated if I can't understand something. It is kinda scary to think about how debilitating it can be to see that I have failed. I am the kid who cries when I get a C. This isn't something that I should be doing. I shouldn't be afraid of a letter on a paper.
My fear of losing people close to me...I plan to try to overcome this by remembering to count my blessings, not take things for granted, be present, and always tell my loved ones how I feel about them.
So many fears - fears of becoming more physically limited, fear of memory loss and confusion, fear of the situation with my mother becoming worse and worse. Fear that every time I try, I seem to suffer a setback that sends me back to square 1. In all honesty, these are things that are happening. I seem to lack the motivation to work on the aspects of the situation that I can potentially change. My plan is to get up off the couch. Keep trying. Feel the fear and do it anyway. That's all I've got.
Sometimes -- not often -- I have a fear of the unknown, and this will result in my taking the easier and softer way which often results in mediocre results. I'm doing that now. I'm taking the path or least resistance in my next career choice and going with the company that is taking over the contract my current employer holds, rather than venturing out into the wild blue yonder and exploring new and possibly more lucrative and/or rewarding opportunities. I am giving myself a year, though, and during that period I shall be investigating opportunities that I may choose should I not be happy in the new job.
I am frequently uncomfortable in social settings because I am not one of the cool kids. I don't "fit." My confidence is left at home. I feel the need to apologize for myself or my opinions. I don't know where this comes from, but I see my brothers struggle with the same. I also have no idea how to fix it. I hope my children do not inherit/learn this behavior. I hope. I hope. I hope.
I have a fear of death. I fear that people that I love will die and that i will die at any given moment. The truth is, that is the truth and it can and has happened at any time. I plan on overcoming this fear by realizing that life is short. I should make the best of each and every day with the people that I love that are still here because you never know when they will be gone.
Perfect question. Fear is one. There is only one fear and only one fear to overcome. It is THE limiting fear. It limits your ability to love. Your ability to live. To enjoy the present. To have an adventure. To be truthful and authentic. Love is the antidote to fear, love engenders courage. It is towards love I must turn my attention, not towards ending fear, that would not be possible. Let your love grow out of the bounds of your heart and there will not be a corner where fear can hide. Let it go, let it be!
My fear of not being accepted, the fear of rejection, the fear of being accused of not doing something even though I have tried hardly, the fear of being left alone, the fear of being mocked, the fear of not knowing. The solution is simple and I practice it sometimes, but I need to do it more: Don't care what others think and just do it. If it feels right for you it will happen one of two things: either you are right, or you're wrong. If you're right, then you're where you wanted. If you're wrong, then you learned a lesson and life told you where you have to be.
I have a lot of general anxiety over small things, mostly regarding myself and whether or not I'll ever be good enough, thin enough, smart enough, productive enough, blah blah blah. I don't really have any large, overarching fears when it comes to external things-- many of the things I've feared have pretty much happened in one way or another and lo and behold, I'm still fucking here and I'm a better, happier person than I've ever been. It sounds cliche, but I really think it's true that the only thing to fear is fear itself.
I fear being disliked. It has limited me emormously. All i can be and control is myself. If I reach out it is anothers responsibility to accept. I would like to reach out with more compassion and less fear of hostility.
So vigilant regarding my son. Can't let go of the hope that my ex husband will change for the good of the kids. No idea on how to do this. This has effected me because it impacts my stress levels and how I treat or pay attention to other people. It angers me.
I've had a fear of facing conflict for years, but with having worked out a challenging relationship with another couple after 11 years, I feel more like when something comes up, we just need to problem solve...things that appear conflictual or negative, don't need to go into a downward spiral, we can turn the next step into an upward spiral!
I am afraid that we will unlearn what we learned from my husband's illness. It will be interesting to see where we are next year at this time, if we've incorporated those lessons or slid back to where we were before. My biggest fear is that if things do go back to how they were it will destroy our marriage. But I am also optimistic that this experience has really transformed him. Time will tell.
I have severe social anxiety and am trying really quite hard to get past it and make friends.
I am afraid that I am broken beyond repair. I am afraid that no one can love me, or wants to, or will want to put up with my mess. I am afraid that I am like my parents. And these are all rolled up into the same thing. I think I'm beginning to untangle these knots, bit by bit. They've limited my availability and my vulnerability, especially romantically. I think I've always thought about myself as a sort of odd misfit; noticing that about myself, I can see it in most aspects of my life. I don't know that these are things that are "overcome" as much as they are things that fall away when/if I can let them. I am so desperate and terrified in a sense that I will live a life alone, that I am incapable of participating in a family, whatever that looks like. Especially lately I've been terrified that I would behave like my mother, and that's caused me to recoil re: wanting children (which I still don't know if I want). So, this year, I plan to be more gentle with myself, to allow myself to feel broken and also know deeply that there is a solution and a way to heal from everything, and also I will be more available for love/to be supported. Ew, gross, sick.
I think my debt has been my worst fear. It's frustrating when I want to do something but I don't have the means because my money is being spent on paying back the banks. One of my goals is to get debt free which will be helpful in that I can push forward with my life and be able to do things when I want.
not feeling good enough. i feel that i started to really change about four years ago when i lost thirty pounds and started making moves to change careers. landing the job at rbl three years ago and challenging and pushing myself professionally has started to break down those feelings of inadequacy. as i'm feeling more worthy and confident in myself, i'm developing new interests (photography, pet ownership!) and friendships and continuing to grow and shape my life. the more satisfied i feel in other parts of my life, the less satisfied i am in my marriage. i've also gained ~7 pounds over the past month. i would like to continue to grow by getting resolution in my marriage (either finding a way to be happy together, or divorcing), and getting back in touch with my body through yoga and eating more mindfully.
I think that a lot of the writer's block I've been feeling lately has been surrounding my fear of failure/fear of not truly being a writer -- whatever that means. Last night I was super stressed about an upcoming cleaning inspection that our stupid landlord is making us go through (I sincerely hope that when you read this next year you won't even remember the whole debacle cos it will be so insignificant), and I solved my stress by just getting to it and doing the work that needed to be done. Not overthinking it, just taking action. And I kept thinking about how I need to apply that same philosophy to my writing -- to take action so fast and so consistently that my fear can't keep up.
I fear overstepping. I fear unleashing myself. I fear myself. But I just gotta go for it.
I am terrified of being alone and of being a financial failure! On the finances front, it keeps me in check with my spending, and concerned about how much is in my account. On the fear of being alone front, I'm concerned I may be staying in a relationship that has run its course...
I'm scared I won't ever meet someone and have the relationship connection I want with someone romantically. Not romance - I want the real relationship. I'm just scared I won't meet someone with whom I have that spark that lets you earn the connection. I don't know how to let it go or overcome it. I'm dating. I'm doing as much as I can. It might be that I have to accept that I can't just fix this as I might fix a problem. That might be the version of letting go that applies here.
Like many perfectionists, the fear of being slightly less than perfect paralyzes me to the point that I don't even try, don't take any kind of risk. I want to let go of that. Failing spectacularly is still spectacular. Never starting isn't.
I have a debilitating fear of being alone and not liked. I feel rejected and I've internalized it. I go to therapy and I deal withit by taking different approaches that I've done in the past. Hoping for different results
I'm afraid of cancer recurring. All I can do is keep going to my checkups and try to take care of myself. But with a viral cancer, there's no telling when or whether it will decide to recur and no way to prevent it.
I am afraid I am worthless and unlovable. It has limited me in every way, growing from my depression and keeping it going. I need to remember that it will effect my children if I give in to it.
I fear death less than I fear a terrible living dependency where I'm incapacitated physically or brought to mental failure by Alzheimer's. Because so much of my social and writing life makes use of words, I am specially anxious in case that facility escapes me. I also fear loneliness. I accept being 'alone in the world' without a family, but I become increasingly aware I may already have had my last true love and whilst I'm enormously grateful that love came to me at least two wonderful times in my life, I would be sad if there was no other opportunity to love someone.
I think that a major fear that I have is of confrontation. I have allowed it to limit me in that I have allowed others to treat me poorly because I didn't want to confront them about the way they were treating me. In the coming year, I plan to continue to stand up for myself and not allow myself to be trampled on.
I really fear exposure. It's easy to stay introverted in my own cocoon, but to really succeed, I need to break free of it. I need to stand up for myself, and my child, and not just let things happen to us. In the coming year I'm going to fight for a fair salary, or look for a job that will value me as I deserve. I'm going to take my ex to court to get the support he owes - over $10,000 - and not worry about how that will make everyone feel.
This is actually a very relevant question for me at the moment. I've been thinking a lot about why it is so difficult for me to defend and stand up for myself and I'ce come to notice it boils down to my fear of rejection. I fear that the other persons won't accept me if I say no, or tell them they have done something wrong. How do I plan to overcome it? Practice it.
I have always had a fear of doing new things. I am already beginning to overcome that. I want to be able to go with the flow better. I also need to let go of the fear of disappointing others, and to just be myself and do what makes me happy, and not worry if it will also make others happy.
I am afraid for my professional future. I fear that I'll be second-rate, and so feel anger towards those who are more able or more accomplished. I want to be recognized as being talented and gifted, and so feel resentment when I am not. I would like to be a part of something and contribute, but I am not and I feel like I do not. This causes me to approach school from a place of competition and anger, rather than playfulness and joy. This attitude is not serving me. I need to accept that I am not competing with anyone, that I am on my own journey, and that all I can do is to excel at the opportunities that present themselves to me.
I have several. I fear the result of the upcoming election, it hasn't limited me. On fact I have become more vocal and informed. I will let it go once the ballots are counted, hopefully I won't need to become an expat due to the results. I fear quitting smoking because I don't want to gain weight. Kinda sick logic I know but still. I just need to convince myself that I need to be healthier both physically and financially and dumping the smoking is a way to achieve that. And last, I fear the path of my current relationship. I think about it way too much, my insecurities. I don't want to repeat past mistakes and so far I really have grown in this relationship and improved my ability to cope with my fears. But it is complicated, and good, maybe that is why I fear, it is too good. Boy does that make me sound fucked up. Oh well, carry on... with eyes wide open.
fear of failure.- staying in the shadows of my own and others light rather than owning it for myself. Not sure I want to overcome it this year as much as continue to step into my light and notice when I am in my own or someone else's shadow why I am there.
I don't let fear limit me.
My biggest fear is becoming more isolated and lonely as i get older and my friends all pair up & breed. i am also aging out of the dating scene because i have illusions that i am better looking & younger than i am. my plans to overcome this are to continue taking Loretta Cupcake to visit rest homes and hospice. i hope i can help my lonliness by helping ithers
I have fear on so many different levels that it is insane. In the moment, I often forget those fears and can do just about anything, but in the long run they are with my like a costant runny nose reminding me that I always need tissues.. My fear of dying is enough that I think about it often but not so much that I allow it to change me for the better.... ;) I know that I should eat better, move more and that those two things alone will help me and yet, that is not how the fear manifests itself. Instead, it is not carrying my phone in my pocket because I might get cancer or taking aspirin before bed on days that I know I didn't move a lot. It is not flying because of the one random thing that might happen though I know I am more likely to die in a carwreck but not so much of a concern that I actually wear my damn seatbelt! It is also part of moodiness. I feel frustrated when I have so much work to do and have to time it in a way that I feel like I can also be active and have a life. I fear dying during this time that I am so busy because I am so busy now so I can have the freedom to truly enjoy and celebrate life again when I am done. The last few years have been a constant fight between the work that I have to do and my family, the beautiful outdoors and any other interest that I might have. It sometimes makes me pissy because it is a balancing act. My brain fog gives me limited time during which I feel like I can function so I drink caffeine and hope it helps, which it no longer does. Finishing up this coursework and then submitting my prospectus should be a huge help as is the possibility of seeing a neurologist about this brain fog. I found out several linemen have similar issues and wonder... My other fear is always about work and our financial stability. I want to make sure that she has the flexibility to find the path that is right for her and I fully support this. I am also hoping that this doctorate leads to a job that provides me with the job that pays enough for our comfort while I am still young enough to enjoy it. I have no idea what I am doing with my doctorate but I am hoping it leads to academia or stability on one hand, and allows me to make serious posiitive change on behalf of my students on the other. My fear is that these may be exclusive of one another. If you asked me to take on a random job in education today that gave safety and security for my family with few yearly vacations, a nice house that we can afford to make ours, nice cars and money to play with in exchange for something that could make a bigger difference in the world of education I am not sure which I would choose but my family would probably win. Typing that gives me a sense of duty and sadness but I also feel a sense of comfort that I cannot explain. The only other main fear is more of a sadness. I cannot understand where someone like Donald Trump can be even considered for President. I live in a world that I have always wanted to change and make more kind, more fair, more happy. I had my first flip out over it at 21 when I realized how hard it is to truly create lasting change and at 22 I realized that peace is virtually impossible because we are animals and as such are territorial and since we have no other natural animals we perceive threats within each other and attack those instead. By 25 why change is so woe to take hold because everything is so interconnected that you have no idea where to start and the amount of other things that need to be changed just to make a small difference is daunting because of the number of people that would have to agree and believe in you. Then I found football and starting working with teens and adult and found that maybe I could help change the world in moments and one person at a time. In the end, it wasn't making them better, but helping them survive, but it felt good and it allowed me to find a team for the first time in my life. That was the first time I think I used the downside of humanity to pay the bills. It was at 30 that I realized that education was going to be the best way for me to make lasting change. I am small, scared person in a big world and I may not be able to create last change because one day my voice will fall silent, but what if I created minions. :) What if I taught so many students and touched the humanity, the kindness, the similarities and hope in so many that they form a small Woodard collective and see the value in their own selves to make a difference...the classroom is often the place that I forget my fear. I do wish I could be in a classroom for the rest of my life while making enough money to have all of those things above because it is truly where I am at my best. I want to teach adults so that they know they still have the power but doing it with kids prevents them from ever thinking that they cannot.
I fear I will never commit to having a partner, and I will remain in ambiguity about my career direction. I fear I will always live In the realm of ideas, not taking those ideas into physical form. Or trying and not completing. This fear manifests in an avoidance pattern. I plan on letting it go by trying one new thing at a time, staying focused with that, and committing more deeply to what I want. This will start with taking graphic design classes and banjo. I will make clear goals, timelines, and stick to those. With relationships, this will mean not jumping to conclusions with each man I meet. It will mean allowing myself to be clear with what I want and need, moment to moment, and knowing that commitment is a two way street. I will not sabotage myself anymore in this department by letting my subconscious control my energy. I will state what I am feeling and be clear on my needs, each step of the way. In this way, a committed relationship will come to me, slowly, by committing to myself and what I need.
I am afraid of not finishing a project that I start, and because of that, I often fail to begin a project at all. I'm learning that taking it one step at a time, and caring about the process rather than the result is helpful in the moments when I need to start working. Keeping the bigger picture goals in mind is useful, but smaller goals keep the large goal from feeling unachievable or overwhelming. Like most people, I'm afraid of failure. But I think I'm also afraid of success. That if I'm successful at something I'll be tethered to it forever to the detriment of all the other things I'd like to be successful at. Which is a strange fear. Again, as with the previous fear, it should be about the process, about letting go and falling in love with the idea I've been wanting to manifest, and then learning how to let it go if it needs to be let go, and not seeing that loss as a failure if it's because moving on was the appropriate step.
Finding a new job/leaving my current job. It's been easy to be frustratingly complacent in my work now. I need to continue to search and apply for job openings at other companies. I need to set aside the time to do it and be committed to improving my work life. I will set small goals for myself i.e apply for at least 1-3 jobs per month. Little goals to ultimate Alger myself in a position to choose between my current job and a new and exciting opportunity.
I fear not having the strength to balance parenthood and other responsibilities without not feeling resentful. I will try to talk about these feelings in therapy and with friends and family when/if they come up.
My biggest fear right now is the future. I just have so many different roads to go down. Can't I visit all of them? Can't I walk every path this world has to offer, physically and emotionally? I have a desire for everything, a craving for life and all of its splendors and I am afraid I will not be able to sample and live every course of life. I want to let this go and experience everything. I will chase down opportunities until there are none left, make chances for myself. Anything to live my best life
I overcame my fear / comfort zone this year = starting a new life without my wife. But also, unfortunately, without my family. I have concerns and doubts if this is really what I want even if I feel very good. I feel I don't have any limits. I have even accepted to be ripped of my money by my ex-wife. I can life without great savings. i can re-start again. And I can be successful again. I hope that I keep that spirit and good mood for a successfull 2017.
Social anxiety. Fear of rejection, interruption, "ruining it", etc. A lot of archaic fears and beliefs here from my childhood, school, parenting, etc. I can let them all go. I am 43 now and independent. I will not tolerate bullying. I'm not trapped in school, or with relatives pushing their agenda on me. I am free. My partner truly loves me and supports my individuality and wants me to shine. I have the resources, the skills, and the experiences I've dreamed of. I am here. Hineini, world. Hineini, community. I am Marni. Take it or leave it.
I fear failing, and that keeps me from trying things I want to try, and from putting things out there that I don't feel are good enough. This coming year, I want to focus more on the actions of doing rather than on the result, and thus break myself out of the cycle of feeling like I can only do things when I'm going to do them well.
I am afraid of winding up alone. But I know that it's better to be alone than to be in bad company. But I also know that it's easy in the heat of the moment to write someone off as "bad company" out of fear of compromise. And then truly fear the outcome.
My fear is that I have not accomplished enough to warrant being hired for a good position, limiting my confidence in pursuing a real career. I plan on overcoming this by going for jobs that I would normally think are out of my league. What's the worst that can happen...they say no? Well yes that's the worst that can happen. But then I need to move on and continue my search and pursuit for a career that fits.
I fear losing my family, my wife my children and my job. I think often how fear "leads to the dark side" in Star Wars - as dumb as that sounds, it leads to attachment to things that can create the illusion of permanence and this form of materialism actually can corrupt the very things we fear losing, by distracting us and empowering them with importance that they do not really have. Like me doing a Reno on my basement so my kids have a great space to hang out but then I become a tyrant making sure it isn't damaged or it's always clean because I want it perfect... Perfect ultimately for them and they will be too scared to use it or won't have fun using it because they fear me. I think the only I can do to stop this is to in one part recognize the fragility and temporality of life by marking mine and my families moments and really be in the moment not somewhere else via my phone & in the other part recognize that all things come to an end and part of life is death and ultimately the reason we fear change and want to hold on is because we fear death and our own ending and our loved ones ending. I fortify myself with permanent stuff to create the sense of permanence but it makes things go even faster and makes me less permanent. I need to come to terms with this and that can only be done one step at a time and maybe even one Shabbat candle at a time - to pause and reflect.
I fear failure. I fear being alone. I fear dosappointment and I fear letting people down. I wil have to get used to the being alone thing since I don't have as many friends here. I think I need to change my definition of failure so I don't always feel like I'm failing when I get something f wrong or make a mistake. I want to figure out better ways to not let people down. Mostly through deadlines and things like that.
I do have several fears, the one that is festering the most is the fear that I have made a bad choice in getting married. It's not that my husband is bad, he is a wonderful man. I just doubt whether or not we are supposed to be together. I am unhappy most of the time and long for my single life. It's not fair to him to call it quits after 2 years so I continue with my individual counseling and have signed us up for couples counseling. I am saddened that we have reached this state so soon but I am at a loss as to what to do. I have read two books on how to help our marriage but either I lack the patience to wait for the changes. The saddest part is, he is happy with me and I feel awful that I have my laundry list of things I am not happy about. Some of the issues I can let go of but two I cannot and I hope with counseling we will be able to get better and have a happier marriage.
I have been working on my fears of not having control over the situations that happen in my life, plus the fear of not being able to get out of a situation if I am uncomfortable. I am making a conscious effort every day to try new things, take each day as it comes, live in the moment and let life flow around me. What I mean by that last statement, is that I won't try to direct life, because that always leads to frustration and or disappointment. I am letting life work around me while I experience what parts of it I come into contact with. Just like standing in a river. Instead of fighting upstream, it's easier to let life love around you and experience things as they move on.
Fear of not being good enough -- smart enough; creative enough; kind enough. These were all things my soon to be former pounded into my head which is something I group up with which is a combustible combination.
I believe I have anxiety, as a mental health condition. I'd like to explore more about how to overcome. Fundraising - calling upon people, making decisions and moving forward. I believe related to my anxiety.
My biggest fear is always of failure, if I could wave a magic wand I’d remove that right away. In lieu of that I need to challenge myself on the reality of failing, the lessons that could be learned by failing and then also make a point to learn more about the things that I’m the most insecure about.
I am doing detraumatization work to release my fears of something terrible happened my TO my children .
I fear being isolated from my best me - earning good money building the value of an organization and being able to invest in the growth of other women trying to move ahead in their chosen careers. I am building my CV by taking an LLM program in a french speaking country while working on finding my first non-executive board position.
If I answer this question honestly, I have a lot of fears that limit me. Fear of not having money, fear of being my true self, fear of speaking up and having my kids and my husband abandon me, fear of stepping away from the material world to pursue my passion. These fears all stem from an overwhelming need for acceptance and recognition, I'm realizing. I never felt it from my father when I was growing up--although I absolutely and unconditionally have had this from him as an adult--but it's so ingrained in me now and I see that it shapes so much of my behavior. I'm turning 50 this year and it feels silly to crave acceptance and recognition at an age where I should be able to see past these things. I want to work on owning who I am, stepping into my true self in all aspects, accepting and recognizing myself and not seeking that in my relationships.
I am afraid of not doing a good job raising the kids, of them not being successful And reaching their full potential. I want them to be happy, confident and healthy. The bigger they get the harder it is to provide what they really need, not just stuff but resources, advice, and experiences. I have to listen more and try to get William to open up about his feelings. I want to make sure Hannah has options for college that we can afford and that give her a good future. I need to get her more involved in the process and let go thinking about it myself.
Fear of failure. It makes me freeze and not move. The only way I can think of overcoming my fear of failure is by trusting that Allah has my best intentions in heart. And that if I follow Him, He will not let me fail.
I have a fear that I am never going to meet a man who I can share my life with. I'm not sure if marriage is something that I actually want, but I think about having a life partnership with somebody often. I plan on overcoming that by continuing to focus on my own personal goals like paying off my debt and saving up to travel around the world. I plan on dancing on the performance team and making the best of that. I plan on learning more and growing in the photography field. I plan on continuing to figure out how to help Diondre financially, yet let him grow up. I plan on dedicating myself to my day job and learning the ins and outs of this industry. I really just want to be the best version of myself. If I want to date and actively do that, well dating sites are just a click away. It's not difficult to find people to interact with or even go on dates with. If there comes a point in the next year where I want to make the time to dedicate some of it to dating, then I will. But, I don't want to force it. Part of overcoming the fear that I won't find a mate to spend my life with is understanding that if my own desires truly wanted that, then I can have whatever I want. Those desires are just not currently there, therefore the fear seems kind of silly.
I have the fear of failure. I don't know how to overcome that.
I have a fear of disappointing others. This has limited me because it has forced me to focus on what others want or expect of me (or what I imagine they want and expect of me) instead of putting the focus on setting my own agenda for what is important to me. I would like to focus on what is important to me in the coming year and nurture those things.
I am fearful that about the stress that raising a child has put on my marriage and that my husband and I will not come through it. While he was very committed to having a child he is now finding that raising a young child is really hard on him and is unhappy a lot. I try not to be pulled into his grumpiness but sometimes it is hard not to be. He insists that thing will be easier as our son gets older and that this stress is only temporary. I hope he is correct but I fear that a life with me and my son will not make him happy in the future either. For now, I am dealing with this by reminding myself that our love for each other is there even when we have not had time to connect and I am not feeling it. We are working on planning more play dates and activities for my son so my husband can have a break to work on his personal projects. We are also making an effort to make time to spend togeather and connect. All those things should make this challenging time more manageable. But I hope that my fears that thing will not improve are unwarranted because I do not see how I can manage living like this for another 16+ years.
I am afraid of failure. I want to practice small failures by taking small actions that mean something to me so I can see I am still intrinsically good even when I fail. I believe this fear of failure is what keeps me from being successful in the way I want to be. And G-d wants me to be.
I am scared of so much I am scared of losing the people I love - that Grandma will die, that my parents will begin to lose their health and independence, that Sam will chose to leave me I am scared of getting ill again and it not passing I am scared of months lost to relentless ill health, unable to work, cycle, walk, dance, stretch, think, love.... I am scared that I am making the wrong choice in my relationship, that in 10 years from now I or he will realise it was never destined to work and there was no way it could have been forever I am scared that I am not capable of stable, committed monogamy I am scared of raising children with disordered eating I am scared of raising children in the current world we are creating I am scared of getting fat once I have had children and him not being attracted to me anymore. I am scared of becoming incontinent. I am scared of losing my hair. I am scared of the power and reach of technology I am scared that I won't cry when the other Grandma dies I am scared I won't know what to do when my dad dies. I am so so so scared of him dying. I don't know how to process the world without him. I don't know how to be who I am without him. I feel he is a part of me and I am scared to lose the closeness with him. I never want to be apart from him and I never want to ever again have to chose someone else over him. I don't want to have to nurse him, I don't want him to ever have to be nursed. I don't want to speak unkindly to him and live in regret of the things I said, when I know that all he ever wanted to do was to make me happy and healthy. I don't want to regret being short tempered with him on the phone because he was showing too much love and care. I don't want to ever take for granted all the things he does to make me happy. I cannot imagine living in a world without him. I cannot fathom how any of it will make sense. I am scared of what the future hold because from now on he only gets older. I am scared of how deep my love for him is and I am scared I will never be able to love another man as much as I love him
Because of a physical attack on May 5, 1983 I still struggle with being able to take a walk in the woods by myself. What I have let go of, is beating myself up because of it. I have overcome so much - I am happy to walk in the woods with my friends.
i am being limited by anxiety over work commitments and other responsibilities and sometimes anxieties that I have bitten off more than I can chew
The world becoming more full of hate and xenophobia, Brexit, Trump, it feels like it's all spiralling out of control down a big toilet, but I try to focus on the things that make me feel positive - small acts of kindness, focusing on doing positive things in my life and the things I think are important for the human race - like Obama's announcements of plans to travel to Mars in the next 15 years - but sometimes I feel weighed down by the negativity in the world being generated and inflated by the hideous media. I'm just trying to keep the hope side of the scales outweighing the dread side.
That my knee pain will keep me from getting the exercise I need to keep me from gaining back the weight I lost. It hasn't really limited me. I just try to do the moves through the pain. I am afraid of being old - where I can't enjoy life, but I don't think this is limiting me.
Rejection. Particularly at my job. Oh they'll decide I'm the wrong fit (7 months in, probably not) or find a reason to let me go. The fears just limit me by creating unnecessary worry and anxiety. and I am always working on letting things go. Meditation, movement, writing theses things all help.
This has been a hard question to answer, first I thought it was failure, but I don't really think that's it. Maybe it's just not being able to find resources to help me figure out what I need to do and get it done. I don't know what I don't know, and there is a fear that it could keep me from succeeding. I think fears tend to immobilize me, I can't let that happen in the coming year. need to focus on my success this year.
I am afraid that my dad will die soon. I'm afraid that this year will be the same as last year; missed opportunities, depression, lassitude, paralysis. I'm afraid that I will never change. But I am also hopeful.
I have a fear of going against David. I don't donate, I don't spend my time doing things without them... I don't even try to book travel to visit my family. I am a little trapped in his world and should feel comfortable being a part of mine.
I feel so afraid a lot of the time. Mostly afraid of being alone, of caring about people more deeply than they care about me. I want to let go of this fear, because I know it isn't true. I know I am loved and appreciated. I want to embrace being alone. I think by spending time alone I will realize that is is not so bad! In fact, often I enjoy being alone.
I fear death. Mine and of those whom I love. I think it's healthy to think about sometimes but I think about it more than that. Besides the small moments of anxiety - It's a reminder to be loving. To say sorry. To forgive. I guess it limits me in that I would not jump out of a plane. But I don't really want to anyway. The only way I think I can let it go is to try to be present in the moment with the people I love. I don't think I can let it go. I know worrying about things don't make you more prepared for them. There's always a laundry list I need to learn to put that list to rest.
Me? I'm afraid of everything. Hasn't hurt me so far.
I certainly fear my children not knowing how much I love them or feeling like I have a "favorite". I also fear having a "favorite". I honestly don't know how to overcome this fear. I suppose I can keep in touch with my ability to connect with my kids and not give in to my default position of "together but separate."
the fucker of a belief:That I will never breakthrough with success in my personal business and my goals within the organization. Fear, angst, paralysis fear that I won't overcome , yet I have in so many ways!! like: * at 18 when Dad said I'd never even get a job. I had one within a week and progressed rapidly. *the learning curve when i switched to Mac *Learning to be with, connect with and speak to people with more caring , less ego , a lot more love. KEEP STAYING THE COURSE. Challenge the fear with 3 truths that prove it wrong.love will prevail!
i have a fear that sarah will leave me just as marisa did last year, that being said, that fear is small, and getting smaller and smaller everyday, also i love run on sentences.
fear of stupid liberals destroying our country and world
I've had a number of fears about having a baby. There was a time during the pregnancy when I was really afraid of labor. Starting the childbirth classes and reading about labor over and over have made me increasingly more comfortable. I am still afraid that it might be so painful that I decide that I want pain meds which would be disappointing to be transferred to the hospital but not the end of the world. It was helpful to realize that pain meds won't hurt the baby, and also that they will likely make my recovery more difficult which is a convincing reason not to use them. When it comes to parenting one of my biggest fears is lack of communication about how we want to handle things and then getting in fights in the moment because we haven't figured it out. Tom has definitely said that he is interested in learning about baby and child development and again, I think the knowledge will be very helpful in helping us navigate challenging situations. I think we will also be surprised at how much surprises us and how much we don't know. We will also need to remember that there is no one way to do things and no best way, and that whatever way we find is fine. Getting pregnant and being pregnant is not easy and I am very proud and impressed of how he and we have done this as a team so I feel confident we can do the same with parenting.
I am really scared of asking other people for help, and it has gotten me in a lot of trouble in the past. I have this strong belief that, if I don't do something by myself, it's not worth it, and that makes life a lot harder- it slows me down at work trying to figure stuff out on my own, and it has kept me in personal pickles which could have been solved by asking for help. So I'm going to really strive to ask for more help this year.
Fear of not doing enough, not being respected, fear of boredom. This has led me to working full time. Often beyond full time! I would like to ease back on the throttle and not work so hard!
I am afraid of losing J's mom, which is a very real and tangible fear. I think the bigger thing I'm afraid of is not having done all I can with her before she passes away...of not communicating with her and being there for her...of not hearing the things she's afraid of and wants. I wish I had known and done those things with / for my mom before she passed away...and while I don't really feel connected to J's mom, I also see that he doesn't know how to interact with her and I hope to be able to create a bridge for him so that he doesn't feel the way I do, once she passes. This isn't a fear I plan to let go of, but I will try to reach out as much as possible and encourage him to, also. I also see that I should acknowledge and appreciate the things that I'm already doing. And that I shouldn't push J to do things he doesn't feel moved about.
Fear plays a pretty small role in my life, but I do think anxieties writ small control my behaviors more than I'd like. I hope to improve my coping skills so I can overcome these tiny fears in a healthier fashion.
My main fear is death--not just dying myself, but of other people dying, namely my partner, friends, family, especially my parents. Also, death of ideas, death of dreams, death of action. The act of things in my life dying, as well as myself slowly dying. It terrifies and terrorizes me in its inevitability. It has limited me in ways I cannot even begin to verbalize. It causes so much inaction, which in and of itself is a kind of death. This next year, I am going to combat this fear in whatever way I can. I will work towards expressing gratitude every day and expressing my love towards others. I will take small steps to pursue my dreams.
I think anxiety limits me- worrying too much about the future and things I can't really control at the moment, and worrying myself about things that are going to be fine. School has really upped my anxiety levels in general, and I'd like to chill out a little more and just see where things take me instead of overthinking and overplanning everything.
I fear that I have wasted my potential, that through laziness or bad decisions or a failure of will, I haven't lived the life I should've lived. I have to accept that this is the only life I have, and I must live this life completely, and embrace every moment. Find joy in pure creativity. Consolidate the last ten years' experiences. Be exactly who I am.
Great of negotiation. I have become rusty in this skill. I plan to take a course to help me re engage and put myself in growing situations to improve and grow.
I fear losing my mind. It limits me as does all fear by focusing on things I can not control and it prevents me from focusing on and being grateful for what I have. I plan on overcoming it by bringing awareness to it and praying for acceptance.
I am scared to fail. No, not quite right, I am scared that I am not good enough to succeed. That I don't have deep and driving ideals. So I don't try. Not _really try_. I want to find a way to take small actions, and not worry about the big actions. But small actions every day that affect the world as I want to affect it. And let that add up to not being a sucky human.
This is always a hard question for me. Some people have it spot on. I'm happy for them. My fear is that life's going to go by and it will be meaningless. I'm afraid of not my mistakes, but the mistakes i didn't make (so cliche). i'm afraid of "staying in the womb eternally" and "never being born"
I am unsure how much to share with others. I get caught up in over thinking on my end and thinking the others really have no interest to hear what I have to say. I would like to get a better grasp on how to best share just the right information in just the right manner as to engage others to work together most effectively.
I have a fear of looking stupid. I guess most people do. It keeps me from getting close to people. I'm afraid of rejection. I'm afraid of getting to know someone well, only to have them discover some flaw about me, of which I'm sure I have many, and have them change their mind and push me away. Sometimes people do pull away. But it's often not anything I did. Crystal doesn't keep in touch anymore. I know why, and yet, I don't really know why. But G-d is mysterious. I won't waste time being mad. I'll be at peace and move forward.
A fear that has been along side with me throughout my life is the fear of spiders. Whenever I see any form of these arachnids, I cannot help but squirm in my seat in disgust and feel a sense of overwhelming negativity, thinking to myself "why me?, why do I have to see these foul critters?". The structure of the spider is what I distaste the most because its bony exoskeleton mixed with its furry outer later seems unnatural or almost thrown together by nature. Not to mention the horrid fangs that each and every spider has, ready to kill without mercy anything and everything that poses a burden. I see absolutely no redeeming qualities in any species of spiders and do not understand how people could (or would want to) have these vile creatures as their pets. Although each and every spider is terrible in its unique way, the absolute worst spider in my opinion would be the tarantula. Its massive size relative to other arachnids strike a sense of ineffable fear that rattles me to my core. I would greatly benefit from not encountering a tarantula for the remainder of my life, and if I do, I genuinely would not know how I would react, possibly screaming in terror or fainting. This fear will be extremely difficult to beat, but I have one strategy in mind which could potentially oust this danger out of my mind for the rest of my life. My plan is to study the spider from an academic standpoint, learning the parts of its body, the way it interacts with its environment, and the unique bodily processes in which it undergoes. From learning about my foe from this viewpoint, I will have much more appreciation for its complexity and effectively convince myself that its intentions in life is not just to solely bother me, but to survive and reproduce through interactions with the world around it.
I ear not looking good, getting it wrong, not being good enough. Wasting my life. That we'll be broke an without resources. That there won't be enough. I have to keep repeating the brilliant "fear is interest paid on a debt you may not owe." I have to listen to myself - I don't worry about Naf bc no amount of worry can protect me from anything bad happening to him and the anguish or pain that would cause. No amount of worry can protect hi from any bad thing. I am beginning to get a little exasperated by my fear. It is time to live. I'm going to allow myself to be impatient with my cowardice.
I'm scared that people will judge me because I'm gay. Since I look very femme, people, especially in the south where I live now, assume I'm straight. I am very self-conscious about my sexuality in the south and as much as I wish people just knew automatically that I'm gay without me having to come out to them, I also like hiding under my straight shell. I want to be able to be my full self always and I hope to be more open with my sexuality in the coming year.
I fear disappointment. I always get so excited about certain topic or subjects, just to later get let down and disappointed. I want this to change, but it's going to be hard. I need to learn how to detach myself for those things that are impermanent. In doing this, I will be excited for the future, but not be hurt by the outcome.
Fear of divorce I fall apart every time we get in an argument and that's like at least monthly or more I've been battling this 24 years and we are still together Weve worked on his blood pressure with some success This year we attended every marriage seminar I could find And started a marriage ministry Working on inner healing for both of us through freedom classes and physical healing with natural supplements and diet I hope by next year that we will have gotten victory and feel more secure And that I can remember to remind myself that this too shall pass and the sky isn't falling .... I want us to be better role models for our kids with our marriage and resolve conflict in healthier ways
I used to be afraid of everything. I was afraid of traffic, of hurting feelings, of child abduction, of the apocalypse, of disappointing anyone, of the law, of being stung by bees, of dying, of being forgotten, of growing old, of Jehovah's Witnesses, of salesmen, A lot of things I was frightened of because I didn't know how to hold my own, how to say I wasn't interested. How to say no. I felt like I had to permit things I didn't want. A product of my upbringing, but also of the culture I grew up in and being a female member of it. To go one's whole life without realizing that one doesn't owe anything, to come into this world with a feeling that one is already deep in debt. What a slow slow dawning it's been, all the artifice I've worked so hard to keep intact, not even knowing myself where the artificial stopped and the real began. Now it's so much quieter inside my heart. Certain situations can switch me back into the mode of terror I lived in for so long, but I've learned some of the judo needed to deflect the meanness of people when it strikes. Kindness is the most effective judo; you can sneak up on people with it. They don't expect it. I like to trip them so they fall belly up on the soft mat. But I can't kid myself like I used to either. There are many sour and hateful people in this world and when their venom is aimed toward me, my blood boils with a rage I've always veiled with fear and sadness. The truth is though, I'm pretty pissed. At this juncture of my life, I'm more afraid of my own anger than of anything else. Maybe this was always the case-- I feared the things that fueled my anger. But having come this far now, I know that I simply have to face it. Today, on the phone with Sophie, she said 'Everything is a mirror". "Everyone is you". It took me almost this long to even identify that my sadness and anxiety were actually anger. Maybe this year I can look it more squarely in the face, trace it back to its lair. It's a thrilling idea. Writing daily is the foundation of it. I love writing and also writing scares me. My real emotions scare me, the truth scares me. My truth, how it may differ from already held truths, that I'll alienate myself. We/I all need the truths we didn't know we needed. Am I angry at what the truth is? What the truth wasn't? I don't know yet. But I finally honestly want to know who I am, whereas before I was too afraid to find out.
A fear that I have is that I will never find a strong professional direction. That I will continue jut moving job to job, without a clear path. I think I need to realize that that is FINE. Ive done pretty well so far, and just need to focus on that. Also I fear that I wont be prepared or confident enough in business school (If I get in). Well first I need to get in...
I'm scared that the anxiety will just keep getting worse and worse until all I can do is lie in bed and sleep because everything else is just too hard. I'm going to therapy, I'm going to try to find new medication, I'm trying mindfulness practice. I'm keeping a journal.
Oh. Fear of success. Fear of being my own person. Fear of being alone in social situations. See previous answers. I plan on selecting a few meet up groups to join. I plan on attending operas and concerts and conferences on my own. Expand my mind and also slowly open myself up to mingling a little bit :)
Fear of taking up as much space as I need in the world to be myself, and thus be seen. No plan to let go or overcome or so politely put it as just that life is too damned short so fuck that.
Still the abandonment issues. Keep doing somatic experiencing with Patti and ACA. Sponsor someone else.
I am afraid of being myself around other people because they might discover who I am, and how it conflicts with their expectations.
I'm feared not being at the right time at the right place with the right skills to protect my family. I listen to many people which i trust and by that I continuously learn - whatever I can learn. KITA!! Besides this I entirely trust my wife and Matthias .... and a few other good friends / family!
Fear of not being good enough at my job. Not smart or technical enough. Not adequate. I think I'm at a place where I'm finally unlearning it because I'm in a supportive, nerdy work environment and in a relationship with a supportive, nerdy man. I plan to take more risks and try more things outside the box with this re-found feeling of safety. It was lost in my early twenties. It's coming back.
Im afraid of not being able to take care of myself and my children to the extent that others see it as valid enough. I hope to just create more security and structure in my ability to do this this year.
I'm afraid that I've come to a fork in the road, and once I take one way, there's no going back. How can I know which way is the right way? Do I follow my heart, head, or gut? It's keeping me rooted in this city that I no longer am in love with, and I fear my life has stagnated. I want to break out and experience something new, challenge myself. I think I need to move to a new place. Probably a new country.
I have so many fears, most of which are vague, unspecified "WHAT IFs" lurking shapelessly just out of sight. I spend so much time trying to avoid them, attempting to use technology and entertainment as patronuses against these dementors without much success. I think I'm afraid of myself, of being alone with my thoughts, and use netflix, stupid iPhone puzzle games, and social media to give me distance from myself. I feel better, I process better, when I give myself time to be physically active and when I write. I need to remember this, to commit to regular yoga, to stop making excuses and actually plan hiking trips, no matter who can come with me. To set aside time to write and think. To find whatever version of mediating works for me. Once I let myself identify the fear or the worry, I can process it, but facing myself can be scary.
I have a fear of not meeting expectations. I think grandly - I have dear friends and so many people around me who give such love and support and think highly of me, and I'm afraid of putting myself out there in a way that might not equal the genius I think they think I have. Most specifically, in writing: I haven't finished a script on my own. Because if I don't finish it, I can't share it. And if I don't share it, I can't hear that it's bad. Or just "not good." Or "not good enough." Or be told I'm not a good writer. I'm happy to start them, I just don't finish them. But things I care less about, I'm happy to finish and figure them out - or decide they're "good enough." I pride myself in finishing things, seeing things through - it's one of the more difficult things in life and one I work to be particularly good at. So, it must be my fear that keeps me from doing the thing I want most in the career path I want most. I also think I've lived under the shadow of doing other things well in order to not face judgment, disappointment, or failure for what I truly want to be.
Fear of losing friends, fear of doing stuff wrong, fear of bad grades... fear of fears, fears of getting in trouble, fears of people not liking me, fear of being alone
I want to say that I'm afraid of coming back to do this all over again with no memory of past life lessons, but I'm not really afraid of it because I trust the source. Maybe I am more afraid of consciously getting stuck in a loop. Misty's descensum. I will have to figure out on my own how to get back before sunrise. I'm letting go, what am I willing to sacrifice?
I fear not living up to my potential. In a way it is crippling and ironically can prevent me from reaching my potential! I want to overcome this by putting my all into everything I do, and if I don't feel confident in some area, find a way to get better at it so I don't feel overwhelmed by it.
I think the only fear I have lately is that I will never be in as good shape as I was a few years ago. I'm taking steps to overcome it by altering how I do my workouts and health-related things. I've realized over the past few years that I have to adjust things accordingly, but it hasn't always been easy. I think in the process I have started to reclaim some of my independence - not that it was ever really taken from me. I put myself in the place I've been in, and now it's my responsibility to take the right steps. So, I am scared that I'm getting "old", but I know that I have the willpower to keep living a healthy, active, and happy life.
The fear I have is of failure in work. It limits me by making it impossible for me to appreciate anything when I am lost to it. I have recently learned that these fears directly stem from my childhood traumas and since I have gained this understanding, my indulgence in these fears have minimized. My hope is that if I continue to work on this understanding, and the related behaviors which perpetuate this fear, I will continue to grow liberated from this fear.
I fear not living up to my own standards and not living the life I desire (not that I'm quite sure what that is). I hear of people traveling and truly living lives that appear grounded in their homes as well as exploring the world, learning, and sharing and implementing thoughts and ideas. I hope that I find more balance and focus at work and that my trip to Nepal will help me see a path. I think a huge part of this for me will be finding a way to be more lighthearted and spontaneous.
I am afraid of not being good enough and everyone finding out. I'm afraid of my coworkers and bosses realizing I'm secretly disorganized and not that great at my job. I'm afraid of my students' parents realizing I don't know what I'm doing. I'm afraid of my family realizing I'm not as smart or as moral as them. I'm afraid of Jeff realizing I'm not as inherently good to my core as he is. I'm afraid of him realizing how selfish manipulative I am. I know that all of that is false, but that's what I'm afraid of. My worst fear is that I'm secretly under qualified for everything from my job to my friendships and everyone finding that out.
I fear that my partner will grow tired of me, that our relationship will fizzle, and I will end up alone. I really want to start a family with her, and I think she wants this too, but sometimes I have doubts that she is being honest with me or herself. Instead of focusing on what might go wrong, I plan on being goal oriented and specific about my needs and wants in this relationship. I believe this will give both of us a clearer picture of where we are headed.
I have a huge fear of being unlovable or unwanted. I worry, not constantly, but it crops up occasionally and in my darkest moods, that despite wanting a loving committed relationship and children, this will just never happen. I don't really hanker after all the pageantry of the engagement party and huge rock on the finger and the wedding, with all the planning, stress, and expense, but I do wish that there were someone who would consider doing all that with me, even if we then just eschewed tradition and got married in the court house on a weekday afternoon. When it comes to having biological children, I've got about 10 years left for this to happen. I actually started researching the process of using a sperm donor and it just depressed the hell out of me. It's a wonderful resource for people wanting to pregnant, but for me personally it smacks of desperation. I guess that I will "overcome" this fear by facing it head-on and being more vocal and straightforward in expressing this need/desire. I'm in a loving relationship, but there are a lot of questions about whether he would consider marriage or children. I'm starting to feel that I need to have those questions answered sooner rather than later.
Fear of being more of a leader, confronting authority figures, especially if they are assertive or aggressive (Israelis). It has limited me in the workplace and in general expressing myself in life or to Men. I hope I can overcome that and care less about what others think of me... it got a lot better this year and I think it can continue improving even more.
Like most, I'm afraid of failing. I'm better at it than many (ask me about my college degree!) but I have a fear that I'll not have anything left with all of the risks I take. I feel like many of those risks end up paying off, but never in the way I'd hoped or planned. Here I am in the Bay Area where I never dreamed of living (in many ways it is the antithesis of the dream, though not a nightmare by any means), for reasons I thought would give me Life Track A but have landed me on Strange Broken Road B. It's not failure then, perhaps...it's mediocrity. I'm afraid of the suburbs, and of not having a story to tell IF I ever get my shit together enough to be able to tell it.
I have a real fear, I think, of being loved and commitment and intimacy. I only know love as anger, and pain and sorrow. I don't have good models for relationships. In fact, I have bad models for how to be in a relationship. Yet, I have internal conflict on this, because I want a real relationship. With intimacy and support and all that it can be. But I have no idea how to get there, or if I get there, how to be in the relationship and trust it.
As always, the fear of new. The fear of happiness. The fear of letting go. The fear of failing. Again. The fear of living. I continue to exist in this little cocoon I made. It's safe. Too safe. It may be time to break out. If I don't soon, perhaps I never will. I'm not happy and I haven't been in quite a long time. I don't know what to do to make it better. That means working without a net, outside my comfort zone. That may not be possible.
I'm afraid of not finishing my degree. I've seen so many friends enter a program and then lose motivation, or I've seen their lives get in the way. I don't mean to judge them--after all, if you want a baby, then that baby will be a priority over a degree--but I know myself. If I don't finish this, I'll always regret it, and I need to stay focused and graduate before my loan cap is reached. This is limiting because, in a way, it's paralyzing. I get home from work in the evening and just want to sleep or watch TV and laziness wins out over the big goals. I HAVE to not let that exhaustion win.
I fear being alone for the rest of my life. I feel like being vulnerable in my prayer-life has gotten easier, but I still really struggle to admit that I WANT a family. I plan to foster my relationships with friends and family, since I feel like its something I can "control" or impact at least. The rest I will really leave up to God, cause I know he hears me.
Fear of widowhood. Personal and operational vulnerabilities were exposed during crisis and healing periods of husband's accident. Long term marriage and levels of comfort and interdependence have left me not as "in control" as I was when I was single. Need to get my act together, as well as prepare for next phase of mom's ill health, and husband's vulnerabilities and changes. Of course I'll work at overcoming it. I have no choice.
I guess my worst fear is being limited by my aging - I have less energy & more aches - I plan to just keep going to my limit whatever that is
I'm risk-averse, when the risk is taking on too much and it bringing me stress instead of joy. I think next year will be a year of rest, and THEN I'll likely be ready and raring to find a new challenge -- hopefully it will involve going after or creating a job/career that truly fulfills me and vibes with my energy and passions.
I fear that i will not not get what I want and as a result I often don't just let blessing happen naturally. I also feel exhausted from always trying to make what i want into fruition that I sometimes don't enjoy it when I get it.
i would like to overcome fear itself! Fear of time escaping so quickly. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear of not doing something. Fear of doing the wrong thing. Fear of not making a difference. Fear of living. Fear of not living. Yikes! That is quite enough. What is my plan? Identifying the fears and what drives them is the first step and then taking them on one by one.
I’m not really afraid of anything. I don’t feel limited in that way. There are some things that I don’t want to do: such as dance in public, but I don’t think that’s a fear; it’s just something I’m uncomfortable doing in public. I guess I am a bit afraid of my big brother, Gregory, and his mental illness. I don’t like seeing him like that. I’m afraid of what he might say to me. Apparently he’s been quite hurtful to other members of my family, but I’ve been spared (so far). I’m now the closest family member to Gregory since my parents and brother Richard moved back home to Scotland. I’m somewhat afraid that Gregory might turn up on my doorstep one day or need my help. I’m afraid of how that might disrupt my comfortable life. If this is, indeed, a fear, it has limited my willingness to try getting in touch with Gregory again. I’ve written to him in the past without any response. But I haven’t tried in a while. I don’t know if I want to let this go or overcome it. There are some people that you can’t help, who need to help themselves and learn how to accept help from others. I think Gregory is one of those people. I don’t know what I’m afraid of when I’m with him. I’m afraid of the discomfort when he’s depressed and monosyllabic and can’t or won’t hold a conversation with you. I’m afraid of his mania - a side of him that I don’t want to have to witness again. I don’t know why mental illness is so scary. I was scared when I went to visit Gregory shortly after the first time he was sectioned. I didn’t recognize him. He did no harm to me except verbally bully me or tease me. I was scared of the mental ward he was on and the other people in it. It’s making my uncomfortable now writing and thinking about it. I guess this is a fear I’ve repressed.
I have always held a fear of the future, of the unknown. It has often held me back in trying new things. It took me forever to even attempt going to France because of my fear that I might fail. It has taken me even longer to attempt leaving my job because of my fear that whatever comes next will be hard, or scary, or the wrong thing. I am honestly not sure how to overcome it - i think by taking small steps, one at a time.
I fear fallout with my husband. I am not sure what the root of our problems are, but I fear that my finding a way to empower myself will lead to more conflict with us. Honestly, I don't know how to overcome this. That;s why we are in therapy.
I always fear change. Funny how that fear is constant! I am forced to contend with change in a really real way right now, so I think that will help me let go of the fear. Change is life and it's time to accept it.
Honestly, I feel so content right now I'm not sure how to answer. I still have social anxiety sometimes and probably always will and I still hate flying. But I'm sure I will force myself to fly, I just won't be happy about it. I do want to travel with Greg and see places in the world, especially Europe. Who knows, maybe I will get the courage next year!
That I'll never feel about my new neighborhood like I did about Somerville - - ie, that I'll never feel so wholey at home...down to my soul here. It's not limiting me at all...quite the opposite. It motivates me to get more involved so that I can regain that feeling. It motivates me to make plans with Erin and Erica and Mary so that I can connect with other Somerville ex-pats and feel connected to them in our new home. I'm also a bit scared to be married but back (sorta) in my old life...how will I balance that? I'm not sure how that looks or works... Even when we were dating and engaged we weren't living in the same city and then he was deployed...so I still had the life of a single girl (minus the dating and sex)...I think it will be great, but I want to be sure I still get some of that old single life stuff in, which will be much harder since Chris doesn't have his own set of friends...yet (?!!!)
I am afraid of failing at the two things I want to be successful at the most: my career and an intimate partnership. This fear limits me in that I sabotage myself by doing things like not showing up on time to work, not fulling investing in an organizational system that helps me to stay on top of my work, and not investing in learning as much as I can while at work and at home. My fear of not being smart enough or committed enough to be a good therapist holds me back from figuring out if I do have the capacity to be effective. My fear that there isn't a man who will love me as I am and who I will love as he is holds me back from experiencing true intimacy and closeness. I engage in flirtation and distancing tactics--addiction and avoidance instead of learning how to truly get close. I plan to continue to work SLAA this year. And I plan to try to take care of my emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual health so that I can show up at work and perform to the best of my abilities.
I have a fear of speaking in public/performing. I took a big step in combatting that by becoming a student ambassador and I want to keep working on that. This year I also joined the choir and next September I want to try out for a moot.
My boyfriend just told me he thinks I am fearful. That was a surprise, as I've always thought of myself as bold and courageous in some ways. But when I think about why I stayed in a marriage for so long, and may be overstaying in a less than satisfying relationship, maybe I am fear driven. I fear being alone. I think I may have known it for a long time but now I can really feel that truth on a visceral level. I fear not having money coming in on a regular, dependable basis. I fear getting old and losing my looks. How to overcome my fear of being alone? Be alone and figure out how to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Stop running away from it by staying busy with things that don't enrich me, seeing people I don't have anything to learn from or laugh with. I can only lose my ear of insecurity by figuring out how to earn some money!
I'm scared that I can't do the things I would like to do, and I get shut down by that fear, by criticism, by health fears, by - just being scared. I plan to let it go by stepping up, and actively releasing these fears, by doing things, making things, taking good care of my health, and singing, teaching, and sharing with supportive loving people.
As I said earlier I have a big fear of failure. The growth mindset has shown me that failure can be an opportunity to overcome, to learn, to grow. Growth mindset is really in spiritual terms grace, mercy and forgiveness. It is allowing God to take the elk up every situation. It is having faith in God and trusting him.
Right know I am scared of leaving home even though Memphis doesn't have much for me as in terms of a booming tourism industry, jobs, and events (like huge parties and weddings) that I could work on. I'm scared of moving away too far from family. My cousin in Hong Kong has even offered to help me but I'm scared to go so far away. I would miss Chipmunk and my mom too much and I have no friends in Memphis so going to a new place and try to make friends sounds scary as hell to me. I thought I was a people person but it seems I was wrong. I like hanging with people but it seems I says the wrong things and I know I am bad at keeping in contact. I love to travel and explore no places but uprooting my life and moving to a new place scares me.
I'm afraid of failure. I don't know how to overcome it- just need to work hard and hope I achieve what I want. and if I don't...I'm not sure.
What is my fear? Being bored. Or crazy without end. My fear of nothing else being possible has kept me in terrible relationships many times. I would like to figure out if we belong together, or if I would be happier alone, or with other people. I fear what it would take to start an other love life. And what it would do to my home, steady but no physical love. I guess my strategy is to open up my time, stay creative in my pursuits, and be as real as possible if it pops up. I am pretty sure I need to be as real as possible with myself before opening up to an other. I fear an other would not put up with me. That sounds terrible. And very self limiting. I fear I would be premature in leaving Kelly. I fear she would chase any potentials out of the picture. I fear my picker is off and I only choose loopy people. I am likely to continue therapy and the answers to these questions!
Fear of not getting the things done that should get done, whether at work, at home, in life. So, I end up doing the easy things, because I can do them, rather than the difficult things. Not sure what I'll do to change this, even though it is always a relief to get the difficult things done.
I still can't light matches! I want to let it go by not thinking about it so much, using electric lighters or longer matches, or just trying once more.
A fear of changing jobs, of trying to find something else that interests me, where they respect the staff and truly care about the students. But I am afraid of losing income, of being rejected by new employers because of my age/of being a poser and not really knowing what I am talking about, of losing health insurance. I can let it go and just stay at my present job and do the best I can while I am here, and look around, diligently but calmly, for another job. If I need to quit because the cost to my mental and physical health is too great, a new door may open for me that I don't see, that G-d intends me to see if I have the courage
I have become more fearful about being alone and about money. I want to sit down and look carefully at my expenses and make a budget.
Fear of not being perfect. But being a parent is a constant lesson in letting go of that!
I have two fears about myself: one, that I am burned out and two, that I am a quitter. My husband points out that I haven't actually quit many endeavors but I certainly have wanted to and sometimes have tried. I worry that I have spent most of my life running and achieving one goal after another and that now I'm out of energy. I've tried to relax but my energy doesn't seem to be coming back. My plan is to keep relaxing and try to see if any projects/endeavors spark my interest. I also want to work on my outlook and examine why I think I'm a quitter and what conditions or situations inspire that feeling in me.
I have a long history of being afraid of what I really feel, and being unable to verbalize it. Not being able to honestly "feel what I feel" has held me back in my marriage and other close relationships. It has caused me to internalize a lot of anger and grief; it has made me sick. I am going to be very intentional in the coming year in sharing my true thoughts and feelings with those around me.
One of my fears is the fear of not being enough or not succeeding in life. This year, I will try to find joy in the little things and not defining myself by goals that wouldn't bring lasting happiness. I'm not sure exactly how to do that yet, but I'll try to figure it out. Also, fear of being alone: I hope that I'll have closer and more intimate relationships with people and that it will bring me contentment instead of loneliness.
I'm afraid to go after the things I want because I'm afraid I won't get them or don't deserve them. I've settled in so many ways with complacency in my career because I don't want to be told no or that I'm not good enough.
I am afraid that I will never get to be a mother. Financially, my spouse and I are still struggling and I just don't see an end to it. Listening to others say that we should "just do it" and "somehow it will all come together" just hurts worse every time I hear it. I see what's happened to our friends -- their marriages, their finances, and their social lives -- when they've had unexpected kids. I refuse to have a child until we're at least financially stable, and I don't know that that's ever going to happen. I just don't ever want to have them go through what I have, wondering if I'm going to need to borrow money for food, or waiting until I get to work to eat in case someone's left something out in the break room. I don't want to have to worry that I'll be able to afford medical care -- or have to let them suffer through pain, like I do, because I can't buy the medication needed to ease that pain. Additionally, unlike most couples, my spouse and I will need to either adopt or pursue IVF. This makes the cost of having a child even more daunting; as expensive as a pregnancy is, it would be even more expensive for us to pursue having a child one way or another. We can't just decide, can't just lay off birth control for a month or two and expect it to happen. And how can we ever find the funds to do it, when most months we barely have enough to feed ourselves -- and certainly can't pay off our credit cards, which only have the most basic of expenses on them? I don't know if I have a plan for overcoming this fear -- my fear of regret, of loneliness, or that I've failed by not achieving the one goal that has carried me all the way to adulthood, that I feel like I've spent my entire life preparing for. Right now I'm still grieving, and I'm pretty sure it's never going to stop hurting. But I try to think of it less and less, and try not to obsess. It's difficult, but so far I think I've hidden it pretty well, so there's that, at least.
I still carry around a lot of fear around my relationship. While I feel the bond I have with my partner is strong and that we are well matched, well connected, good at expressing our needs and vulnerabilities with one another, I still get fearful about it all falling apart. The fear is totally irrational and related entirely to my past relationship history. There are days that I can't believe I've actually found someone this special and then the thought of losing that seems devastating. I think the best way to get over this fear is to acknowledge it and move past. To spend more time in the moment and enjoying my relationship and developing the shared memories and experiences that will keep the bond strong.
I have a fear that I am not good enough. This has been pretty consistent in my life and although I have not been able to control it as well as I want, I guess that's just because I'm not good enough.
I don't spend a lot of time on fear. Those things I find dangerous or frightening I tend to avoid, for better or for worse. I'm afraid of some macro things about what will happen in the future: global warming, race relations, a recession, a governmental crisis, or war. But my fear is tempered because (a) they are long term problems that are never really going away, (b) a trust in the resiliency of humans to make the most of it, and (c) a belief that they probably won't impact me personally in a way that puts me or Julia in danger. Aside from that I have a lot of belief in my own ability to avoid or get out of danger. I live in a dangerous city, yes, but if I found myself in harms way I would do my best to help myself and the people around me. My best chance for success is to have my head screwed on straight, and living in fear doesn't help with that.
I have a fear of being alone, and I think that I should just embrace the time that I have to myself.
I found out I am afraid of failure. I am just going to do it, and if a fail I'll get up again, that's what has happened in the past. No failure has been so big to knock me out of my feet and keep me in the ground. I just gotta remember I'm stronger than what my fear is trying to portray.
It's strange to write this, but at the moment I don't have any fears that I feel are really limiting me. I'm certainly afraid of things—not making meaning out of my life, not making friends, never finding someone to date, turning into someone I wouldn't respect, etc. But I don't think any of those fears are limiting me. In fact, my fear about not making meaning out of my life spurs me to do everything I can now to ensure that I will make meaning out of my life (looking at an Independent Concentration & GISP/ISP, thinking about meaningful jobs and internships, etc). As for the other fears, I have faith and hope that they will not be realized, and I am doing what I can to ensure that they don't come true (for example, by continuing to work to make friends) without focusing on them obsessively. In the coming year, I want to continue to work to ensure that my fears will not come true, and I also want to continue to avoid letting my fears limit me.
There's an ever ongoing fear of being a fraud. I find it hard to define myself as an artist, as a writer, as a singer, musician, actor. I am continually apologizing, thinking to myself that I have nothing to show for all these identities. I'm realizing that in my past I've often sought external validation for my choices, for recognition, for feedback on how well I wrote something, sang something, acted something. I'd like to develop a stronger barometer for asking myself how I felt when I accomplished something. I want to figure out how to let myself be enough for me. I want to let me be the judge, determine whether I'm satisfied, determine whether something I did lived up to my own standards, rather than constantly seeking the approval of others. I think this fear sometimes keeps me from even trying to truly get my work out there. There's still no one-woman show, no novel, there isn't even a blog post per month. But there are a lot of thoughts and hopes swirling around inside me.
Well, not exactly a fear but an uneasy feeling and this towards my son and my mother. But especially my son who lied so much to me that I feel reluctant talking to him because I never know whether he's telling the truth or just a nice-sounding story. This fact has impacted my relationship to him. When talking to him I am always on guard. And I hate how he treats me: first, very skillfully preparing the grounds for finally asking me for: money and whatever. He taught me to distrust him. It is not a nice feeling to not to be sure whether it's a lie or the truth. Could be either one and I could be wrong as well as right. Overcoming this situation-no idea:(
I am scared that I will lose my dad in the next year - his health isn't good. While he has shocked me over the last few months after mom passed with his attitude - I don't know how I will take it when he is gone. This isn't something that I can let go of - I am trying to deal with it before it happens but that is unrealistic. you don't know how you will feel when someone you love dies until it happens. I can't let it go or prepare.
I have a general level of anxiety across everything in my life. Not sure how to get over it, I don't want drugs. So, maybe EFT, Self Hypnosis or something else.
I struggle with a fear of being irrelevant. Of being unattractive. Too much of my self-worth got tied up in how men felt about me. Its ridiculous. But it was my mom's way. And her mom's way. I hope I haven't passed it to my daughter. I don't have a plan other than reminding myself all in life is fleeting.
I have a fear that I will not realize my full potential or what I believe to be my full potential. I have a very detailed vision of what my life should look like when I'm 25, 35, 45 etc. I just hope that I will be able to accomplish everything I dream of. Falling short of this would be terrible.
A fear I have is not being able to reside at Simmons. It has limited me by doing just that. I obviously had a stomach disorder which caused me to go to simmons late, but my anxiety was, and is, a big fear of mine.
I always fear that I am not good enough, that people don't really like me and they just wish I would leave. This year I have had the added fear of never finding my person. Several friendships have fizzled out and now whenever I am pushed to the limits I have nowhere to turn. This coming year I will be sure to focus on and spending time on the friendships I do have. I will also try to seek new friendships!
I do have a slight fear of the spiritual realm while equally having a deep curiosity. Sometimes I scare myself from wanting to connect with Spirit but afraid of the revelation. Is it because my faith is weak or perhaps I'm just fearful of the possibility of witnessing Spirit in full force, at full attention? Is it a respectful fear or a doubting fear? Or a Holy Moly you know all my faults and foibles fear? So thinking about it and meditating more upon it will no doubt, help me overcome the fear. I'll become more comfortable with getting closer to Spirit and relax in the knowing that yes, I'm an imperfect person. a Ragamuffin. And Spirit is a Ragamuffin's Spirit.
The fear of failure has been my most significant, consistent obstacle. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
A fear of failure and rejection, which has lead me to drop out of a marathon 10k, puts me off from applying for jobs I want and is currently dragging me down from doing my PhD application. Life is short, and I guess I'm going to let it go by just going for it. I can either go and do what I really want with my life, or I can spend my time being miserable and fantasising about moving forward with my life. I guess I'll just have to ignore the fears I have and get on with it, as I've found that once you actually get on with stuff it all comes together.
Fear of my body changing if I continue to move forward in recovery. I want to work with my team to gradually move forward and focus on progress first, without stopping movement by focusing on my body first.
I fear that my son will not be able to live independently on his own. Although he is in a better place now than he he has ever been, he continues to need inordinate amounts of "rest time" and is unable to multi-task when planning . I do not see how that will work with his stated goal to become a doctor. We are planning on purchasing a condo for him and my daughter to move out of the family home. We hope that this will be a stepping stone to independence for them both, as well as giving my husband and me space to live without them.
My fears: that the people I love think badly of me; that I am useless and a force for bad in the world; that I'll get killed; that I'll sink back into the quagmire of depression I was in so much the last few years The plans: open, loving communication; get a new job and be useful in it; chill out and talk myself out of anxiety but also be careful; monitor my brain and see a therapist at the beginning of the descent instead of putting it off until I feel resurface after 6 months and forget why I wanted one in the first place
A fear I have is losing my husband since his suicide attempt last year. It's limited me because I have to imagine the scenario in order to mentally prepare, or I guess, to just run through the "worst case" in my mind. So if I can't get in touch with him, I start to get anxious. I need to work on letting go of that fear and anxiety.
I'm afraid for our country and for our ability to get along with one another. I seek out the "good people" and do my best to clear my world of the negative, no good people. I continue to turn a blind eye to that which scares me and take clues from it to guide my decisions so I can make the best ones for me and so I can live my best life in spite of my fears.
I have less fear than I did last year. I'm more at ease in my life. I think I still have a fair amount of fear of being duped though. Of wondering if people are real. I think last year I had some fear of being on my own, now I think I've settled well into being on my own. I do have a bit of fear around my health, I think having had cancer their is a worry that it could return. It's just there at times at the back of my mind but I enjoy my life.
Fear of failure. This led me to giving up things quickly or not even trying them to start with. I realize that everyone fails. The most successful people fail all the time. I'm going to face this year with bravery and strength and courage and not be afraid to fail.
Not being good enough at my job, blah blah blah... I suppose on a related note, I'm scared of being seen as a failure if I leave to go to something less pressured. I feel like I need to have a reason - and that's partly why I'm so keen to pick up writing again, because I feel like that's a good excuse to leave a job that is chipping away at my self-confidence, day by day. But I've bought a book that's suppose to help you design your best life, and I'm going to buy another one that helps you plot your next move. I'm going to try to find a mentor. I'm going to try to work on my attitude and be the best person at work I can be - if I'm the best that I can be and I'm still miserable, surely it's not my fault...?
one fear is: to do things wrong, to make wrong decisions. My plan on letting this fear go is to remind myself a) that nobody knows what will happen. We most times behave as if we do, but we do not. b) of my basic goodness.
That I'm not good enough or worthy enough. I work on this every day and move it farther into the past.
Especially as a student with a learning disability, I have a huge fear of failure. It's brought me alot of anxiety. So I've always tried to make up for it by being OCD and clearing clutter. To release things that may resemble "negative energy" or clutter. In my life and at friend's apartments. I feel I haven't started my store because it might fail. It may not succeed or be well received. . I hope to combat this fear by learning more about my potential customer base and strengthening my belief in myself.
I don't have a fear that I can name, but I am often aware that I don't think I've fulfilled my potential. I'm still not sure what it is that I was meant to excel at. Maybe I'll find out if I seriously try to learn about poetry and actually try to write some. I think I could do some writing.
I am afraid of the intimacy of deep presence with people, and I am afraid of the weight of the suffering I am not able to help alleviate when I can't perform in meetings, get the right meetings, etc. My strategy to address 1 is to spend some time, maybe tonight, in conversation with myself about what I really want with men who are strangers; when I have a meeting with a man, what do I really want. Could I really say to myself, I'm not looking for a partner; I'm not interested in evaluating whether these people would be good for me, and are they interested in me; because it will arise naturally with time, and more importantly, because I am happy, without a partner, or am okay for x number of years? No, it will arise naturally, and if they're interested, I don't have to raise the question with grown men. AND what is that kind of partnership anyway -- at all different from what I have now, with best friends? Except sex which I don't want anyway outside of the context of that kind of deep relationship? On the latter, my strategy is deep connection, to knowledge of both the personal/individual, and enormity, of that suffering,in mourning, currently in practice with self-connection and the pathway that words of offering my heart opens.
I'm scared of the idea of commitments where I'm no longer going to have my freedom and be able to do what I want, when I want. Not only am I not sure HOW I'm going to address it, I'm not sure if I SHOULD address that.
I don't know that I experience fear, except in the 'jump out of the way of a moving vehicle' kind. My limitations are, for the most part, external. Internally, I know that I can be and do anything.
Fear of failure- I have to tamp it down and just DO!!
I'm really happy right now but sometimes I'm worried that I'm too comfortable and too set in my ways and habits. It could be good to shake things up a bit in the next year.
I don't know. There are several that I think I'm too scared to even write down. It's not that I'm overwhelmed with fear about everything, because that's not the case at all. I do know I feel stuck in some ways and I hope that by this time I will have figured that out and moved on.
I'm afraid that I'll never publish my novel(s). I want to overcome that with a better writing schedule, one that forces me to wake up in the early morning hours, crank out a chapter or even just ten pages, and then feel satisfied for the rest of the day that I got something good done. Something that I actually enjoy. Because that's my calling. To craft stories. That's what my entire youth prepared me to do: to be a film maker, artist, author, storyteller. But my smarts in school and my abject cowardice propelled me into the "safer" profession of medicine. And now that I see all of the problems with medicine, and have been inspired by so many intelligent people to take on the causes of social justice and healthcare reform, I see my dream of being a published author slip away. I don't want that. I can't have that. I won't be satisfied on my deathbed if author is never something I can put down on my resume.
Well, all my fears were met this year. I guess I could lose my house, or have something else happen....but, I am going to try and overcome my anger with my sister and to find peace with my workplace.vb
I fear that I will work hard to be creative and then whatever I produce will not be worthwhile. That it will be a failure. Redundant. Sloppy. Amateur. In the coming year I will overcome these fears by simply doing things. You will always be an amateur until you actually do it. This year I am going to create and let the judgement come afterwards. There is reward and growth in taking risks.
I am afraid of retiring from my professional field. I enjoy the respect and constructive volunteer work that I do, yet I am depriving myself and family of time and energy for meaningful recreation. I will keep trying to let go, one month at a time.
Pissing my wife off. I'm afraid (there's that word) I'm not doing all of the stuff I could be doing to give my kids the best life I could because I don't want to get her yelling. What am I going to do about it. Good question. Damned good question. Let me get back to you on that.
I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid of being honest. I'm afraid of rejection. Those things limit me in all kinds of ways. I stop myself from being vulnerable with the people I love the most because I'm afraid they'll reject my honest self. But I've grown a lot in my fear of failing - I'm scared to enroll in school and I've been discouraged by my miserable experience of trying so far but I'm not letting that stop me from moving forward anyway.
I fear loving myself, and that has limited my ability to love both myself and others. It has also limited my ability to allow myself to be loved by myself and others, and I am working actively to unpack that, let it go, and move beyond in the coming year.
A fear that I have is that no one will ever want to be with me. That I'm too sick, too loud, too vulnerable, too open, too needy, too lazy, too much of a procrastinator, too indecisive, not pretty enough, too fat of a face, too annoying, for someone to want to be with. I am so deeply afraid that I won't meet my soul mate in this life- not even a soul mate- but that I won't meet anyone who will ever want to be with me. I don't know why I'm so afraid of this, because it sounds like I think that is the most important thing. It's not. I know I can receive happiness and joy in so many other ways- from family, friends, work, volunteering, creating- there are so many ways now and everyday that I find joy. I don't wish I was in a relationship right now- not at all- and I have SO much joy. So why do I make it like this is the most important thing for my future? Or not the most important thing, but such an important thing for my future? Whether I actually find someone who wants to be with me or not, I'll be fine and I'll be happy and I'll be fulfilled BECAUSE I do yoga and I can find that contentment and satisfaction in myself. Helping Adam the other day, that's all I need. I don't need relationships! I helped him and his girlfriend so much, and then I went shopping and drove by myself and I felt great. I felt fulfilled. I did yoga, I felt fulfilled. I met Zack who taught yoga. I need people, I need amazing energy, but they don't have to be my boyfriend to give me joy. This fear has limited me so much in terms of not putting myself out there- or being just so fearful of being alone. I need to rationalize it and think about the fact that if I don't find someone who likes me, it's not the worst thing to happen by any means. Also, this perspective makes it seem like I am so unworthy and someone needs to like me. I also need to like someone. I need to have a say. I get to pick too. I hope to really find more confidence and more self-love in the coming year with more yoga and hopefully therapy to help me get there. I also hope to move past the intense fear of feeling trapped in a capitalist big money government. Pharmaceuticals, cannabis, healthcare, when I really think about what is happening systemically, the fear comes in and I feel overwhelmed and trapped. I hope to work on just accepting what is and figure out slowly how I can change what I can.
I worry a lot that Steven is going to die. So much of my happiness --sometimes it feels like too much of my happiness -- is in the Steven basket. I never thought I could find someone who is both so kind and generous but also stimulating and interesting and who loves me to death. I can't envision the rest of my life without him, and when I do, I just think I wouldn't want to. Not in a suicide way, but in a "well, I'll just pace out my time here" way. In the awful event, should it ever happen, I don't think that would happen, but I would never ever find someone like him. I really don't have a plan on how to not worry about this, so mostly I just don't think about it. I don't think it's unnatural to fear this in someone you love so deeply.
I guess it's all about money this year. I'm really scared that I'll never have enough of it and that my debt will swallow me. I'm worried that I won't be able to have kids or a house or anything and that I'm just falling behind. I am going to try my best to keep putting money towards my current debt and taking a job that might not be ideal in order to keep things going.
Being found out as trans. Become who I am and telling the world.
I have definitely had a block in my throat chakra. Something is restricting my voice- a fear of what people think, or being 'exposed' in some way creeps in- and drives me crazy. I also feel insecure at times with how I look and overly self conscious. I'm not sure others would guess this about me- but I feel it and I don't like. it. I honestly don't know how to let all of that go right now. Spiritual practices? Working with Zoe, writing, having a healthy balance in life?
Flying. Oh, man. Practicing flying next year. I don't have a plan. Maybe some wine, if I'm not pregnant?
I think I fear letting go of "things," physical objects. I might need them later, or wish I had them, or have to spend money to buy them again. Ironically, too often I can't find the things I have when I want them. It was very freeing to leave so much behind for the moving/estate sale when we left our previous to move to this one. I want to feel that freedom of getting rid of things without having to move.
I'm always doubting whether I should really be in a relationship or if I should be on my own. I'm so afraid that I'm going to make a decision I will regret. In the coming year, I will work to invest in myself and my personal growth whether I'm in a relationship or not. I will spend more time reading, writing, being with friends, and exploring the city.
My ongoing struggle - I guess, fear - is that I don't matter so I don't raise my hand, I don't speak up, I don't take myself seriously. And then I am frustrated for not being noticed for my contributions. This is not as apparent as it once was but still there. I want to bring my ideas to fruition; every idea I have is about bringing people together and I want to actually do that. My fear is I'm not as smart or good as other people - again, I believe this less than before but it's still there on some level.
I think my fear is that I'm not good enough for what I want and I want to fully release that this year. In both work and relationships.
I think my greatest fear is no one will want me, no one will choose me. I need to choose me first before someone else does. I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I'm going to assume there will be therapy involved.
I truly fear this question and plan on answering it better next year.
My fear was losing my parents and it's halfway happened. Now I'm just clinging to my dad. Don't know how to overcome it. It's just the worst
I have several fears/anxieties, but I do my best not to let them limit me. First you must name it - for instance I know I have a fear of heights; then do it anyway. I don't let my fear of heights stop me from hiking up trails, or if I was at the Grand Canyon, I would definitly walk out on the sky bridge! On fear/anxiety that I recently noticed that I have developed is anxiety over my future financial stability. I suppose this comes from recently retiring. I plan to explore possible ways to secure my financial future, and symotaniously remind myself to trust in God!
I am afraid that I'm not good enough. That has really limited a lot in my life. It's made me feel that I don't deserve anything better. It's made me date people that I'm not really attracted to. It's made it so that I've never been in love. It's had me stuck in a job I don't like for five years. It makes me lonely because I'm afraid to fully put myself out there to form relationships and show the kind of vulnerability that real intimacy is based on. I think this year has been about really seeing that and articulating it and recognizing how it has held me back. I am hoping that self-knowledge will at least provide a start in moving forward. I've also relied a lot upon other people... and I'm making an effort to believe the nice things they say about me and leverage that into a sort of confidence I can begin building from. I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And dog gone it, people like me.
I fear that my life (and all my junk) will have no meaning if I don't have children. I know that when I think about not having kids, the first thing I think is, "Who is going to give a hoot about my photo albums, my family tree, my research files?" I'm not famous enough to warrant donating my papers to an archive, so it seems that if I live long enough to be old, one day, all that I worked towards is going to end up in the trash. And that makes me wonder why I even bother with any of it. I'd like to have resolved this feeling by this time next year. I don't want it to nag my thoughts, like my anxiety does. I don't need anything else making me worry for no good reason.
My utter lack of self-confidence. I have no plan.
I fear being alone. I really fear it. And this year I've started to overcome it by gaining a greater sense of confidence in who I am as a person. I feel more assured of the fact that I am intelligent, driven, funny, and considerate. I can walk down the street in a cute outfit and think, 'well I'm a catch!' And that's more vain than I ever am, but I think it's actually healthy for me to have this attitude about myself. It serves as a good reminder for when the fear of loneliness or rejection takes over. That all being said, I have to work even harder at not letting those feelings overtake me to the point where I feel scared to try. I have to be comfortable letting my emotional (and physical) guard down, letting people get close to me, because that's the only way I'll take steps towards not being alone. I stress too much about that. On a related note, I also allow my dislike of socializing/dating to be an excuse for why I don't go out. That's not okay -- I can embrace the introverted side of myself but I can't allow it to become a crutch that I use to avoid taking risks.
I fear that I will never come to love myself and as a result, that I will be single and lonely and unsuccessful professionally for my whole life. I will work on being more grateful for what I do have, rather than focusing on what I don't, and for trying to live as much in the moment as possible.
Fear of not having enough to see me through old age. It limits my ability to enjoy the present moment and creates tension in my relationship with my partner who has saved much less money than I have at this time--close to retirement. I want to move ahead with my planning for my retirement. Part of this is getting some clear answers around the decision not to get married. There are legal issues we need to attend to as each other's beneficiary's and things like State Partnership that could be an option for us. We keep putting these things off--I need to act and make appointments for us. We have talked about our mutual needs and it is time to act. At the same time I feel the need to safeguard what I have saved thus far and plan for the work I would like to continue into my retirement. I want to quit worrying about the future. I need to remain balanced, being mindful about spending and saving and enjoy my life---we have no real idea of what the future may hold and I don't want to die worried.
I want to be brave and let love in. And if it's right, to let love change my life.
I am sometimes afraid of speaking up. I'm getting over it.
Fear of not reaching my potential, but at the same time missing out on life because I'm so driven, which sometimes leads to tunnel vision. I want to continue to works towards achieving balance, and letting go of my fear. I need to put more faith in myself and my abilities, and let life lead the way sometimes.
I try not to worry or have fear, because the Bible plainly teaches that fear is from the devil and that we are not to worry because it changes nothing and that we are supposed to have faith in God about all situations. I do, however, have some concerns. I am concerned about not being to go back to work and not having enough income and other things in regard to my finances. I am concerned about my weight and my health. I am definitely concerned about the situations with my son, grandsons, daughter-in-law, and Rick, but those are in God's hands. I am concerned because my hair is thinning out so much on top; maybe I will start using Rogaine. I cannot think of any really serious things that are in my control. I don't mind staying by myself most of the time, but I would like to find love and a really great relationship before I get too old.
One fear is being out of shape to the point that I can't really go hiking with others because I don't want to be left behind, or that I can't confidently participate in group exercise activity because I've been out of the game so long. That I plan on overcoming by making much smaller more manageable goals to work out on my own and find buddies and really put time into it. Another fear is not unique to me or to this year, but the consistent self-consciousness of not being "good enough." I'm not sure if it ever goes away, from anyone, and I'm not sure if it's even worth overcoming completely because I think it inspires me to do better, to be more like my role models, to be nicer and work harder. Also, I'm a confident person compared to many of my peers so I think it's a healthy dose of self-doubt (otherwise it could lead to pompousness).
General social anxiety. I will vacillate and procrastinate rather than just approach someone, even loved ones, with an uncomfortable question or topic about which I believe they might be disappointed. this carries through to being more sociable in general and to putting myself out there to even look for theatrical auditions. I have no real plan for working on this apart from just pushing myself forward with the knowledge that after pushing forward and getting on with the interaction/issue/person, I am inevitably relieved and amazed how easy it was, particularly in contrast to the anxiety & hand-wringing I subjected myself to in advance.
I have a fear of falling after having done so resulting in severe injury and not being able to walk for months. I have to rediscover my positive self and put more stock in my faith and learn to let go of the fear.
I've got this fear of missing out that so many of us get. I want to see all the things, do all the things. It doesn't limit me, though, it inspires me. I don't think I have any fears that hold me back anymore. Life is really good.
I don't feel I have spent too much time dwelling on campaigning against Donald Trump for president but it does feel like a virus affecting my life. He presents such a negative outlook and prospect of our future ( not to mention his exaggerated frightening depictions of the present), I fear quite literally for my own future should he actually get elected. He encourages the worst in society. It's wearisome to fight. Hopefully some of the anxiety will ease with his defeat. Clinton is no panacea for what ails our country but she will be better for it. I hope to continue focusing on my spiritual motivation and development and doing what I can to repair the world and bring blessings to it in my own way, performing acts which will kiddush HaShem.
My fear of finding a partner has limited me. It's either convinced me that the person I'm with is the best I can do, or it forces me to give off a vibe of desperation or neediness. I just need to get back to the place I was where I met the last one who broke my heart. When he and I met, I was feeling on top of the world about myself. I have lots of reasons to, and am ready to get back there.
fear of not being successful financially. Well it's not really a fear it's a fact :P so, fear of not being able to change that. fear of being alone? not sure... not really. I do great alone. not sure I fear anything actually, but it's probably because I can't admit it. Fear that I won't learn or evolve or become a better person after Dad's passing? Fear of people most likely. Fear of being old. Tho it's more hating it than fearing it.. I don't know how to let it go cause I'm not sure what it looks like. Keep meditating might help me find out what I fear exactly.
The fear of failure, or being a failure. I am afraid of not amounting to anything. I think it is logical, but the fear element could stop me making the moves and decisions necessary to really achieve. I hate to say to the max, just in a direction I am happy to go in myself. Also, I need to be proactive to ensure the world doesn't leave me behind and that eventually one day I leave something positive behind too.
I am afraid that I have taken on too much in this new life, and will get stressed out. I have to priotitize June and family, while somehow carving out enough time for myself and creating strong relationships here.
I am worried about my finances. I'm doing OK but I need to be better. I plan to be more conscious of my spending and saving.
Over the last year, many of my coworkers have been laid off and the Seattle site was closed down. Therefore, one of the worst fears I've had is the loss of my job before I retire (which will be in about 4 years). I just plan on keeping on coming to work until and unless I'm let go. In addition, I am attempting to make more of an appearance at the JF office (since I work from home, that's quite a drive) and at off-sites. That's really all I CAN do.
I am afraid I will never regain my confidence fully, or regain my financial independence. It is incredibly limiting in my daily activities, in being able to meet bills, in needing assistance. All I can do is continue to work hard and find a good position that will help me provide for my son and myself. Persistence will, with any luck, pay off.
I am afraid that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none. This has limited me because I am afraid to commit to a particular trade and not be the best at it. This year I hope to just dive in and realize that I can do it and even if I fail, it is part of the process of life. I need to better identify a passion of mine and not worry if Im not the best in that particular field. I need more of a fake it till you make it attitude.
Because I live alone and work limited hours, I fear that I am becoming introverted and isolated. I think having a roommate and a new job will help with that.
See question 8. I'm afraid of making the wrong change. It has prevented me from keeping my eyes out for opportunities and perhaps living a happier life. I think that it may come from never wanting to leave anything unfinished and always wanting to make a difference. But I think hat one thing always leads to the next, you need to jump at some point!
First fear, is the fear of intimacy. True intimacy without the lust. I need to work on the next steps of love, after infatuation is over. I need to explain what I need to y partner, and I need to offer an ear to see what my partner needs. But if its over between George and I, I need to let it go before it gets ugly. I am afraid to get married again, because Robert screwed me so bad. But that fear, hurts my partner. If George is my forever person, my forever home, then I need to work through this. Next fear, is fear of conquering my addiction to food. I am afraid to let that part of me go. Its time, i do not need food to make me feel better. this year, i need to surround myself with supportive folks that can encourage me to let that go, as well as my poor self esteem.
Disclosure off Commission. Compare our services with other.
I have this consistent and ignored fear of change and fear of success. I am constantly embroiled in a battle with it. Im not sure it's the kind of thing a human being overcomes. This year though my plan is to power through and keep moving forward. The world is this big scary thing but change is one of the few things we are assured of in this world if we are humans. I hope to be able to accept it more readily and move into it without fear. At least Im comfortable with being uncomfortable :)
My biggest fear is not having purpose. I am mourning the shift in our household with Matt out of the nest and Sam well on his way. I love being needed, being creative and making a difference. I plan on ensuring that I am fully engaged in projects that really fill me up in order to take care of this concern.
As someone with Asperger's Syndrome, I am afraid that my natural tendencies and misunderstanding by neurotypicals will continue to sabotage everything I attempt. I will keep trying to self-monitor to recognize the areas of misunderstanding to improve my relationships and interactions.
That I am judged harshly by the behavior of my children. Allow my children to be responsible for their own choices and allow G-d to continue to refine my parenting that it is more successful. Stop judging my experiences by others presentation of their family. I am not them nor do I have their mission or design. Furthermore, my children do not have their children's mission or design.
Fear of not being good enough. It has limited me b/c it keeps me comparing and judging and not satisfied. Hah. If I only knew how to let it go or overcome it. Keep on thinking about how I'm alright in this moment, right now. Think less and feel more - try to feel that I am alright in this moment, right now.
I have a fear that I will become my maternal aunt, the wife of my oldest uncle on my mother's side. I have a fear I will always be comparing myself and my progeny. I have a fear of becoming my mother, and a narcissist. I plan on continuing to grow my own sense of self worth, and remind myself my worth is internal and inherent, as opposed to stemming from any achievements. I would love to remind myself that every morning and to mentally hug myself whenever I compete with others: "it's ok. You don't have to be afraid XYZ means you are less worthy or loveable." I want to be kinder to myself.
Fear or learning new things or tackling difficult things. I have to LEAN IN to them instead of resisting.
I am afraid the whole world is going to run out of drinkable water. This fear allows me to be part of the water police, a pain for every one around as it is forbidden to waste any water in the house. Grey water must be saved to water the plants around the house. Saving water has become an obsession. I am waiting for more Ninos and many Ninas, waiting for any rain at all and a lot of snow on the mountain tops.
I have a fear of failure which sometimes manifests in a fear of change. I took a big leap this year with my career. I left any semblance of predictability behind in favor of a chance to do maximal good. I am trying to take one day at a time. I am striving to keep my standards high without losing so much sleep over the instability of newness, of lack of experience. I hope to be kind to myself, to refuse to beat myself up when I stumble or look over the vast precipice of the unknown. I hope to spread my wings and fly in the face of my fear.
I have feared being someone whom everyone instantly sees as incapable of anything. Like an instant bad taste in their mouth lip and nose turned up like eeeooww I stepped in dog shit. Not taken seriously Just look at God and know i can do all things with Him because he makes me able he wants me to succeed If all I have is God than I more than out number naysayers.
I am afraid of people being angry at me or rejecting me. I plan on letting it go by working on my inner confidence and compassion for others.
I have a fear of faith. What if I actually believe things will go well. Does that jinx it? Is caution a sign of gratitude? That doesn't seem right. But I have a terrible fear of just simply enjoying life and trusting that it's wonderful. The future is filled with what ifs and watch outs and that is SCARY. Maybe i will try and address that this year. To envision a future that is wonderful and even more fulfilling than I can imagine vs anticipating tragedy and trauma at every next turn.
I had to think about this for a day. I think I'm afraid of doing work and not having it pay off. I'm afraid of investing and getting nothing back. How do I plan on overcoming this? Uhhhhh. I don't know, honestly. Huh, I said the same thing in 2011. I guess I need to figure out how to trust that putting effort in is worthwhile. To trust that even failure is still valuable. I don't know. This is a big one. I will think on it.
My fear of being alone has kept me in relationships with people that are not right for my life. Over the next year, I plan on getting out of relationships where I see red flags and not worrying so much about how sad I will feel. Maybe I won't feel sad. Maybe I'll be great. Who knows.
My fear is not having enough money. That is the reality today, and if and when I reduce my teaching schedule and retire completely it will be much worse. My plan is to try to figure this out better, to reduce expenses, and to stick to my budget. But I'm not sure that I can do that since I have enough trouble with it now, when I am working!
I am constantly in fear that something terrible will happen to one of our kids, Bri or me. I'm not sure why, but anytime they have a symptom I automatically worry that it's cancer or something else that's just as terrible. It's really no way to live and causes me to feel stressed out and worried more than I should. It's bad for my health, both mentally and physically and I'm sure that it drives Bri crazy, even though he doesn't show it.
I avoid confrontation and upsetting others. Need to do so and do so honestly and sincerely.
I'm afraid of becoming seriously, terminally ill. I am fearful for my grandchildren and feel helpless about that. Part of my Taschlik (?) observance was to let go of my fears and have faith in God and God's will. That is my plan for the coming year.
I've been afraid that I am not worthy of the things I have, that I'm somehow undeserving of the things that I want in my life. It won't be easy, but I hope to overcome it by letting go of the things in my life that aren't serving the future that I want for myself - and it will include examining my own behaviors to clear out that which is getting in my way. Deep down, I know that I can manifest my destiny - but I know that I need to have clarity of purpose and intention to get there. I have faith that I'll be able to move beyond this.
Of never being loved for who I am, or as I am. I don't know that I will ever overcome it. I work on letting bits of it go, but it's hard. I spoke up for myself this weekend and lost the man I love. It will hopefully turn out to be a good thing. He didn't treat me well enough. He had his own traumas and couldn't overcome them, at least not for me. So the part of me that's growing says I have opened myself up for new love by letting go of this one, but the other part of me says, see? I told you, you were unlovable, here's the latest example. Letting go. I hope when I read this again I will have let more of this go.
I have been considering ending my marriage for quite some time. It has taken me a long time to admit that I have fallen out of love with my husband. My husband had a failed business, and instead of taking a paying job (even a low level one) with a regular paycheck, he has decided that he doesn't want to or can't work for someone else. So for the last seven or eight years I've been the breadwinner, which is stressful and has made me, at times, resentful. I know that I can support myself financially, and I don't have a fear of being alone. I'm not sure what scares me about ending it, but I'm going to figure it out.
Fear of losing what you have, what you know you can handle, is always what keeps me from reaching for something new. But is it really fear that keeps me from doing stuff? Maybe. If it was defined enough to name and look at, it would be easy to deal with. If it was in the open I could grapple with it. The truth is, even dreams and hopes I have are so far hidden I can't begin to dig them out and bring them to the light. Maybe that is what I need, is to dig.
My fear is of being alone, and more specifically, dying alone. I am trying to think of it less, and make it a non-issue. Easier said than done. Just have to live every day to the max.
I don't believe in fear and I refuse to allow fear to control me or any part of my life.
thinking am i good enough or feeling not good enough about myself I plan on saying and feeling positive afirmations that allow me to feel my best and be the best I can be
same as usual fear of new things fear of failure who knows, have not succeeded so far
I have a lot of fear. Fear of making a mistake, fear of loss, fear of failure. I plan to overcome the fear by being aware of it. I want to release that I have control of certain outcomes and just go for it. I will pray for an outcome that is for the highest and best good.,
I am terrified of being left out and booted out of a friend group. It's happened before, and I'm afraid it will happen again with all of this cohort drama. I really like a lot of these grad school friends of mine, and I want to keep those friendships, but I have to really figure out if they're worth it from the other times they've left me out.
I think we all have the fear of finances. The biggest fear with finances is how we can afford adoption. We are looking at various ways to help as well as asking my parents to help us. We will see 😊
That I'll never fall in love and have a happy, sexual, committed relationship with someone before I die, that I've never really experienced true love... that I'll work myself to death because I have no family, that my looks will continue to fade... and that I'll just become alcoholic and have a BORING life. That I'll never really write something accomplished, never take that risk...or just run out of energy and time. That I'll die tomorrow. Ha! Can't we all? Can only challenge by deciding it will be different and moving toward that daily. Have returned to writing in my journal more, think that helps. Otherwise, heck, I just don't know....
Well, I haven't made much progress in letting go of worrying. But . . . I did face my fear of job hunting (Seriously? Who's going to hire a 67-year-old?) and took the plunge. And was successful! But now I'm anxious (a little) about making good in this new arena. I start in 10 days. I will NOT let my fear of the new get in my way!
I have been terrified of success. I've twisted and turned everything I can to try to convince myself it is fear of failure, but it is the opposite. I have feared my resolve and power. No more. I will let all good things come to me this year. I've started with welcoming Drew and Zappa to my life. I've proven that I can work hard, be disciplined and exhibit leadership. I will do more now by focusing my desires and strengths, harnessing my power and influence, and simplifying by delegating all that is not a super power for me. I'm ready for more: community, wealth and impact.
I'm afraid of not being good enough for my child. I know that I have to be the "bad guy" because her father is the "good guy". Her daddy has a large family and some of them are wealthy, so my daughter gets attention, presents and anything she wants when she is with them. I have no one, my family is an ocean away, and if they were close they wouldn't be much help. I am a beaten up woman. The end of my marriage and the emotional torture that I have endured since after, weren't what I needed after a lifetime of struggle. I have aged 10 years in only 2 years. I am back to college, I have financial pressure and little support. I try to be a loving, patient mother, but I still have to teach my baby right from wrong. And I don't have all the time to just sit and play with her. Her daddy can do that, because he only sees her two days every two weeks. So I feel that my baby just can't wait to go to her dad. She never seems happy to see me again. My fear is that I will lose her. I don't know how to overcome this fear. I guess I should accept that I can only do my best and then it is what it is. But I am not that kind of person. And my daughter is the most precious thing I have. It will break what's left of my heart if I lose her.
My general fear of being seen and being rejected for just being me - is old, and has tendrils in so many things... I don't want to waste time explaining it anymore at my age. But letting it go, overcoming it... I will know I have done that more if I can say I am more at peace, as I discussed in Question 8. So, I guess I better get on the cushion and get up the hill, and get out of the cookie jar :-)
It's taken 38 years, and it will take more, but I'm standing up to make things right when I identify that I was wrong. I respond to the feeling of guilt and shame by acting — apologizing, discussing, understanding. I'm healing every day.
This past year I had a fear that my husband was on the verge of another mental breakdown. I felt that I had to be strong enough to prevent and manage such a situation as I did the first time it happened. This past month we have come to that bridge, and turned around, stronger, together, and calmer. We have new crises, and we'll deal with them, together.
I fear being in a non-work relationship. Even with my kids. I take my job as a mom seriously, but as they become independent adults, I feel like I am severing those relationships instead of changing them. I never keep relationships with people outside of my work scope.Overcoming it? Not sure. Because how do you know what's expected? How do you know you won't get screwed? I think I am destined to be alone all my life. Sometimes I don't want to be. So I am stuck. When faced with this...I hate my brothers. I hate the abuse. I hate the rules that kept me safe that, as a 52 year old, I can't break.
I am so aware that I am growing older and that my remaining years - or at least productive years - are limited, that I have set many goals for myself. As a result, I am accomplishing very little. I'm too scattered. I don't know how to overcome this. Whittle down my list? Become more organized?
this is a difficult question- not because i don't have any fears, but because i have too many and they are all interrelated and i can't quite articulate them clearly. one fear that has been keeping me up late at night is what climate change has yet to bring- the earth may become uninhabitable as i reach old age and i'm scared of feeling so helpless...i'm scared that i'm wasting my youth (but i don't know how to spend it wisely), that i'll never find a "good" career that will stay relevant as artificial intelligence takes over. do i sound overly paranoid/crazy? i don't know how to overcome these fears except to be as proactive as i can about the issues that matter to me and to accept things i cannot change.
I won't travel via air during the winter for awhile now. I'm not afraid to fly- I've been traveling for a week now, taking a plane every two days. But when it gets cold, I tend to psychologically hibernate. I haven't decided if this needs to be addressed; probably I should be more flexible. It goes hand in hand though, with my growing dislike of driving long distances, and obviously there is a pattern to be considered. I can live with it!
Never finding my soulmate.
I am and have been afraid of pregnancy and childbirth-- as well as parenting in the USA, which does not support parents in the same ways that most developed countries do-- and leads, I believe, to selfish hoarding and nuclear families that turn inward, neglecting social responsibility. This has limited me somewhat in terms of my thinking about the value of parenting and nurturing life on earth. But I know that it has also freed me to think more critically about the negative environmental effects of bringing more bodies onto the planet and the positive potential of adoption as well as our social responsibilities to our communities beyond our little families. All this said, I am pregnant-- and I have no plan or way to leave the USA. So, in the next year, if all goes according to plan, I will be challenging myself to become a loving, yet socially responsible American parent. SO far the pregnancy has been unpleasant and challenging, but not quite as catastrophic as I imagined. We shall see what labor/ delivery holds . . .
Plan on letting go of my fear??? How on earth do I let go of the fear of something awful happening to my children? MAYBE I'll learn to better manage it. Or maybe find a different fear to replace it. The fear doesn't run or manage my life, nor do I let it manager theirs, and perhaps its completely irrational but it's there. And I simply can't wrap my head around how to let it go.
I do not have physical fears much. Well, wasps. But I fear not being able to get everything done. I am not as quick or able as I used to be and things are getting backed up. I need more help and do not like to ask for it. The fear of not doing causes me to stall and not do. I feel overwhelmed by all that needs to be done. I may hire more help more often so I can concentrate on doing the things that only I can do.
I have this fear that I can still be tossed out of my house even though I have maintained sobrriety for almost ten years. I feel my spouse does want me feeling "comfortable" and occasionally still intimates this is a possibility. I would love to be sure all is indeed good and not be afraid of her. I guess I need to just keep doing what I am doing and believe I will be at home and always have my job to go to for as long as I need to keep working.
Fear of going out alone at night. It does limit my choices of places to go if I have to go alone. As a woman I prefer not to put myself into situations that could be dangerous or awkward. Taking steps to minimise the risk helps- not going to places where I could be vulnerable.
I have a constant fear of devices, gadgets, systems and appliances breaking down in the house. It makes me ill and I have needed medication for this in the past. I sit of an evening waiting for the sound of footsteps down the stairs, to be followed by someone telling me something doesn't work. This fear is about having to pay to put it right. I have no money to spare. But also perhaps to do with loss of control over things I cannot put right myself.
I fear that my work and way of thinking is not deep enough or rich of enough in the academic context. I fear that I am not quite smart enough or focused enough to pull it together and complete my dissertation. Given this fear I have spent the past year waffling back and forth. Reading more and more articles. Desperately trying not to go in too deeply into the wrong thing. In that context I've made very little real significant progress. This coming year I plan to develop an outline for my research and discuss it directly with my committee. Ideally by doing so I will force myself to stop waffling and make forward progress. Diving off the edge into the deep is the only way that I am going to make real progress.
Fear of failure always limits me. I'm trying to blow through that this year.
Wow, my answer last year is so on point I'm gonna repeat it. I fear getting judged for whatever I put online, be it political or personal. I hope I can let go, trust in my good intentions, and continue to be as thoughtful and honest as possible. Still trying.
Of not having enough money to get through each month. Only limits me in the way I try to keep my life simpler and more frugal. It will always be with me, unless I marry a milliionaire!!! or win the lottery!!! which I have never, ever bought a ticket for!!!!
The fear of being single has allowed me to chastise myself whenever a relationship hasn't worked out, a friend has gotten married, or a friend has moved in with their partner. I have always seen it as a failing on my part. The truth is that many of my friends are in relationships I do not aspire to. One is even abusive. And in being true to myself I am doing something many others are not. I once read, "be the heroine of your own life" and that really resonated. I am buying my own house, I have forged my own career and I will continue to be just fine on my own. I deserve time and attention and love, if it happens, will come.
Rejection.i was picked on in my youth by my family.when i started to think about this question some time ago i realized that it still goes on but i have different ways of coping with it.in my life i have moved across the country to get away from them and come back several times just running away from it.now that i have a family i feel i need to be stable for them but know the 'making fun of' still goes on and it still hurts a little.bc they bring up my past ( as well as the present) as tho i am still a child. I try different ways to connect bc maybe they bully me bc they are struggling too but it leads to more deeper rejection bc now they know MORE about my heart and my soul. My mother in particular seems to know exactly how to shift any chance to connect to a dig at how nothing could have been better on her end bc i was such an awful presence. I have learned that you do NOT correct a mocker,you only bring hate.& rejection.you cannot change their minds.so I wait.continue to be an example of change.rely on my creator for my value.In essence they are rejecting Him and that is on them.this fear holds me back from enjoying my son.prevents me from showing my worth so he can be an awesome man of character.
My biggest fear is to fail at something that I love doing, such as being a mom or being a photographer or baking a cake or being diligent at exercising. I guess the only way to overcome it is to jump the void that separates me from success and see where I land and if I end up falling and hurting myself, at least I have tried.
My fear of asking for help limits my potential, by keeping me from many of the resources that could lead me into new directions, and stretch my comfort zone. I am actively practicing asking for help - and helping others who ask - to both build the emotional/mental "muscles" to do it more consistently. I truly know that I do not know where help may guide me. I'm ready to find out.
My favourite question: Here, I can finally answer a lot!! Spiritual experiences: Hmmmm, not so many. Fears and anxiety a lot! Kidding, but yes sadly most of my life I had way to many fears and anxieties. It was hindering me with so many things in life. Especially childhood and youth were overshadowed with so many fears. I have the feeling it is slowly getting better. But I really think I have to worry less. Or maybe I should embrace my fears? Maybe that will make them smaller?
I am not worth to be heard or understood. As far as letting it go... I just might let it grow and fester... I figure I got 2 more years of life and then I'm good. My trust is gone. My strength is gone. My will is gone. My dreams are dead. I'm really feeling very much done. Except someone needs to feed my cats... so that's why I'm around. I figure though by 2 years the universe will take them away from me somehow and I can close the book... or stop the tape... or turn of the game... whatever metaphor you want to use... NBD... and '2 years' doesn't mean I have a plan... its just an estimate I give myself given my shitty health... yeah high blood pressure, diabetes, gout, sleep apnea, clinical depression, etc etc <3
I have a fear of getting Alzheimer's or dementia. This is a great fear as I've always been independent and mostly in control of my life. The idea of being a burden to my children or grandchildren is horrific. I read articles and research what one can do to perhaps avoid or lessen the severity of this debilitating disease. I'm taking on-line courses that will enable me to be involved in a large community project. I'm also learning a foreign language and volunteering in a Neighborhood Justice Program. In addition I maintain my relationships with my daughter, son and 3 grandchildren . I'm getting in better physical shape by exercising on a regular basis. I take an active interest in politics and work to make changes in some of our government systems.
I live in fear of everything. Fear has run my life for longer than I recall. I fear success. I fear failure. So I no longer try. I gave up. My fear of failure is that I won't be perfect so I cannot even try. My goals have been erased. I fear living. I fear dying. I fear that my depression has consumed me and I will die from it. This recent fear is a result of multiple accidents that changed my life. I fear saying how I feel. I fear rejection. I am not sure how to truly overcome this level of fear. I am in therapy and working on it at certain intervals. Every time I think I am on the threshold of taking a chance, something occurs and leaves me devastated and hopeless. I don't want to be a pathetic statistic. Or a cliche. I have to keep trying. I am ever hopeful that a year from now I will have overcome at least some of my fears and accept reality for what it is.
I'm afraid of being rejected again. Always. I am currently trying to relinquish any sense of control, and instead focus on my reaction to things. Getting rejected SUCKS, but it also means it clearly wasn't meant to be. Even though I don't really believe in meant to be anyway.
I desperately fear losing my job again. I'm getting sick at my current job, but not working would be worse.
My fear is that a lot of people will be depending on me to know the right answer or say the right thing. There are so many unknowns in my profession (architecture) that I will always feel inadequate. I am better at working around this now - just relaxing and methodically going about the necessary tasks as if I know what I am doing. Perhaps that is what having experience is all about.
The fear of never being good enough. This fear has limited me in all areas of my life, especially when it comes to fulfilling my dreams and goals. For example, I'm afraid of continuing to write my book because I'm afraid that it won't be good enough. I need to stop having this mindset and convince myself that I am good enough. I need to stop listening to negativity and follow my own intuition.
I fear death more than anything. I feel like it limits what I am willing to do and causes me to take more precautions than I maybe need to. I hope that I grow in my acceptance of death and learn to appreciate life more because of it.
The fear of rejection, the fear of not seeming good enough. The interesting thing about this question is the implication that there's a plan of letting it go. And whatever answer I write, it feels like a commitment to at least make strides in that area in the coming year. So what do I want to commit to? At what point will I stop avoiding the question and actually get deep and dirty with the hard work? Yala, okay so fear of rejection and not being good enough. I plan on overcoming this by reaffirming the positive traits about myself, with serious intention. And every time I get too into my head and spiral into negative thinking, I'll have to refocus and redirect myself. Remind myself to stay present and focused on what I'm actually doing.
Fear of Alex (and Netta) I know that when I took pills (Clonex, anti-anxiety) when they were visiting here for a month here I was ok Keep up with the Pema Chodron (Buddhist) teachings - of feeling and not telling stories about it over and over to myself I will feel better And living in the moment generally What will I do if she gets pregnant again and asks me to come over for the birth ?? SAY NO
Honestly,and as I am deeply searching,I can't seem to find a particular FEAR that I haven't already acknowledged and already processed it--unless it's SO BIG and has become a part of my GOB-ground of being- that I am oblivious to it. However, I trust absolutely, that it WILL come up in the exact perfect time for me to handle it. I ALREADY have lived out my worst fears that I ever even THOUGHT I had, and I am presently in the "rebuilding" and Consciously creating place in my life and feel pretty damn great about it---I am always open to look at ways to refine my character and life in order to have that "Happy Ending". But now, I also am about designing "Happy Beginnings" and "Happy Durings"...and what I know that I know Absolutely, is that "HAPPY" is NOT a place to "Get TO"....it is a place to "Come FROM"......it's like in this life---this is a party that you "have to bring your own lights to"and also, sometimes.....just sometimes,Happy is OVERRATED......I appreciate my "cranky and ferblundget" states sometimes! LOL......So Fear? Not-so-much anymore----THANK-YOU G-D!!!
I fear becoming like my mother - that is, I fear expressing...weakness. I also fear my own arrogance, which is tangled in the recognition of the human side of my parents. My mother struggles with decision-making - it stresses her out, she worries about it, sighs audibly, and defers to my father. My father plays his role and makes the decisions. Man of the house. I'm sure they - I'm sure they talk to each other on a more even level; they must, but not in front of us kids. Some sort of power thing maybe, or they've just trained themselves in demonstrating proper family life: the father is the leader, the mother and the children obey. Mom's fear is frustrating, as is her and Dad's difficulty abandoning their old beliefs and embracing new ones. Like my decision to move in with Adam. This is a tough one to answer in terms of how this fear has limited me, though. Arrogance, I suppose - belief that one's ideas are better, more progressive, more open, more right, less backwards - I think I'm right, I generally feel it, too, though my past beliefs bubble up sometimes to try to haunt or confuse my conscience - but this notion of 'betterness' is disgusting and I tell myself I hate myself for it, but I don't - do I? Arrogance makes me no better than my parents. I don't know what's right. I don't know anything. I also say I don't know without really necessarily believing it. I'm limited in developing as a person by my lack of confidence. I'm limited by my general fear. Focusing too much on the example of my mother and how I fear it is like veering toward the thing you're staring at while driving - I don't know how to differentiate myself in a healthy way from my parents without being disrespectful to them. I love them and I want to pick and choose those traits that I admire in them - their love, loyalty and devotion, their humility and generosity, their sense of humor, and shed other habits I've echoed - Dad's temper, Mom's timid, apologetic nature. I don't believe it to be possible - from all accounts, it seems, offspring are to turn into their parents - but I'd like to believe that I can break from that pattern. It's easy to do what you've been taught. I need to learn my way out of my learned behaviors. I need to step down from where I think I'm at and start over all the time. I need to constantly be humbled and open to other ways of thinking, of being. I need to recognize that I can't blame my parents for my behavior, and that I myself am responsible for my actions, and for letting them shape me, one at a time, into a person that I can love.
I'm afraid of being alone. I have been for the past seven years, and I honestly dont' like it. I plan on overcoming it by spending more time with people, and becoming more outgoing!
I am afraid of losing my job. Ian unhappy at work and know I need to leave, but at 62,ageism is real and job hunting is very challenging. Terrified of not being able to pay for insulin and basic health care, terrified of being unable to pay for rent or groceries- and I allow that fear to keep me in place. I need to find a healthier way to support myself. I am struggling to find the time for my writing and my artwork- these are the endeavors that feed my spirit. A little time every day, increasing as I can.
I would say stressing out too easily and worrying too frantically. I need to take it easy.
My biggest fear is not having control. And the universe keeps telling me and showing me that 1) I don't and 2) It's ok. Still need to work on that.
Slight fear that Bryan's lighting products rdont reap dividends as the financial commitment is high. There are things you can't anticipate so you just need to minimize risk where possible which he knows and does. Need to take a reasonable risk to get ahead.
I'm so scared of no one liking me and no one wantekng to by my fiend or around me. It's lead to social isolation and a worry of insincerity when I'm out in groups or at events.
I am afraid as I get older of being old, alone, and destitute. That is really my only regret about not having children which is really selfish so it's good I didn't have any! I'm trying to save as much money as possible and take good care of myself. I'll hit 56 this year. Well, I hope so anyway.
Fear of failure, and tied to that, fear of rejection. I think the only real way to get over it is to fail or get rejected, get up, and keep doing it. I had an interview today in which I said I'm proud of my persistence, which is true - if I'm told I can't do something, or that something should get done but there's no time/resources for it right now, I will get that done, but if it looks like I'm going to fail, I start to crumple. So this is my goal for the year. Get rejected and do it again. I did so a little this year - I competed with a classmate for several positions and lost each one - but I kept going. Now I want to address personal rejection (dating and the like) some more, as that can be harder than professional or academic rejection.
I'm having more anxiety in social situations. I avoid many of them. But not all of them. I have less friends in this town than I do back home. Because I bought a house here, I will be here for some years. Getting out into social situations where I can meet friends will probably be the only way to meet people and make some connections. There is a get together for a coworker/friend on Friday. I was on the fence about going but I guess I should.
Speaking up in groups/department meetings and getting my voice out there. This has limited me in becoming a real leader to my team. The time I've put into this makes me a strong weapon that I need to unleash. My knowledge and experience goes without saying, but that I am lacking. My brain is full of good ideas and ways to better processes and procedures. Everyday I'm becoming a better me and I will continue to get better each and every day working towards becoming the leader I know I can be.
I have a fear of being vulnerable to not knowing what I want to do and what direction I want to go in. This has limited me by not allowing me to fully delve into "where I am," what makes me happy, and where I want to be going. In order to fully assess my life and where I want to be, I think I need to admit to myself, at the deepest level, what I fucked up this past year and why I am not happy. I plan to overcome it by creating a safe space for myself to let myself go. That may include therapy, but the bulk of it needs to come from myself. I can set up a day to involve some biking, volleyball, gym time, studying, and driving. While I'm in a positive state of mind (perhaps after the gym), I can start my reflection. I can also take this step by step so I don't have to feel overwhelmed or risk becoming depressed.
I discussed my clear reluctance to set up public speaking appointments this evening with Merrill. I keep waiting to have dotted every "i" and crossed every "t" before reaching out. I have already started the process of reaching out, and I am going to continue until I have several workshops scheduled!!
I'm afraid of becoming unemployed. I have been cut back to part-time at the moment and while I expect more work to come in, anything can change. That's one reason I'm pressing ahead with my master's -- I want to make myself more marketable and employable.
Well first, I have really come far in my fear of failing. I have dove into it with my sciences and I am proud of that. I think another one of my fears is not being liked and having to please everyone. I need to do what is true to myself and not always worry about how others are going to feel. I have worked to take a deep breath before a decision and really evaluate how I feel.
People. Being afraid that I won't be able to hold a conversation with someone makes me shy away from situations where I am one on one with someone. I don't know how to fix it, I've always kinda been that way - if anything I feel like I'm better now than i have been in the past... But it is something that I feel like has held me back a lot and made me miss a lot of opportunities. I think all I can do is continue to push myself into environments that make me uncomfortable and actively try to talk to people more and get better at it - work on finding ways to convince myself that I'm not actually that bad at it, so that I will trust myself going into those situations and not put so much pressure on them.
I think that the thing I fear most- second only to the loss of a loved one -- is the idea that I am not worthy of a new long-term relationship. There are lots of reasons, but the majority of them have to do with becoming old and ugly. The men on my dating sites seem to over-rate themselves pretty consistently! I know I do the opposite. But no one has complained so far-- that I am fatter, older, or uglier than promised. I think the only way to conbat this is to push myself past my comfort zone. I'm on Match and OKCupid. I should jump on Plenty of Fish as well. I have a date on Saturday- to walk through Longwood Gardens, with a complete stranger, known as heartandsoul - from Match. I still don't like to be seen in the light of day by men. How pathetic is that? Maybe when I get reeeeeeally old, I 'll cease to care!
I still fear dying young. I try to overcome it by being mindful, but I'm not sure if it's anything I'll truly ever shake. I've taken huge strides in my fear of flying this year. I fly once a month at least, and although I still white-knuckle it from time to time, I actually kind of enjoy it. It's liberating.
I have a fear of not succeeding in business and being able to provide a better life for my family. It started 3 years ago when a business venture didn't go the way I expected it to and ever since then I have had this fear I couldn't continue with the fear so I made a conscious effort to fix it. I went for a few counciling sessions and learnt a bit of meditative breathing. As a result I had a shift in thinking and the main thing that changed for me was the concept of time and the pressure I used to put on myself because of my expectations of when I should be succeeding. I let go of that pressure and now I just focus on the work I need to do to succeed
I fear physical ailments. I plan to maintain a positive attitude in the coming year.
I have a fear of being my true self, because I think I am afraid of being rejected by other people. Fear of my light shining bright. The Marianne Williamson poem 'Our Deepest Fear' from'A Return to Love' pretty much sums up how I feel. It's a little too deep and would take a book to explain so I'll choose a fear I can easily talk about. I have had a fear of heights for quite some time, and it manifests itself more when there are people around. I' think I'm more scared of somebody pushing me over an edge! It has been one of those things that I have not conquered, but squashed on several occasions, yet under times of anxiety and stress it has come back. I used to be terrified of even going on a ski lift, white knuckling it all the way up. After 3 years of skiing it never bothered me at all at the end, not even getting scared in high winds on the chair lift. However, I have not skied in a many years and went on a chair lift during the summer to go to a peak and I found it rather scary again. Good thing is I have a lot of memories of being scared but arriving in one piece so I survived once again, but it meant I had to deal with the problem again. In order to squash it I set myself some goals, one was to go ziplining, another to go on some Rollercoasters, I went to the top of the Burj Khalifa and other rather tall buildings in Dubai + a few other things. I even went on the fastest Roller Coaster in the world at Ferrari World in Abu Dhabi. I have not idea what to expect in the coming year so I don't have any specific strategy or plan. We'll see what comes up and I'll deal with it when it happens.
A prominent fear of mine is that I will be unable to find safety, security and a purpose in the world without the crutch of my eating disorder. I'm afraid of failure and the inevitable unpredictability of the tumults that life holds. My hope is to continue to work at my recovery and construct a life for myself outside of the vacuum my eating disorder has created and held me captive in.
A fear of commitment. I think I said the same thing last year, but it's still true. It's limited me in dating and making new friends. I hope in this coming year I really open up to new people and give dating more of a shot.
My fear is becoming physically old before my time, and not being able to enjoy life. I have felt my strength waning over this last year. To combat that I need to do more exercise and strength training.
I am terrified of being judged and found wanting. I am scared that people will think that I'm arrogant, presumptuous, or that I am not as smart/good/pretty/nice as I seem to think I am. I have trouble asking for recommendations and applying to jobs or scholarships because of this fear. I worry that simply stating an interest in applying will make me a laughingstock, at the absurdity that I of all people would think myself qualified. This fear is one of the greatest challenges I face. In the coming year, I plan to keep reminding myself that most people are not that two-faced, and that if I make myself open to kind criticism, then people who mean me well can warn me before I make any mistakes that are too big. And that so long as I try and surround myself with good people who are kind to me, I am unlikely to face the secret scorn of others. And if I do, I will respond with calmness and dignity. The other thing I need to do is ask for advice and feedback, and then apply to things. And to remember that rejection does not lessen my value as a human being.
I'm noticing, more and more, a fear of being judged by others and that makes me reluctant to speak up, participate, and contribute. I know, from past experience, that happens very infrequently, and I hope to employ that knowledge in pursuit of more readily being engaged in conversation, interaction, and relationship with others.
I have a fear of myself: what I can accomplish and what I can't. I've limited myself for so long, not believing in myself. Frankly, for many years, I didn't think I'd be alive this long, or even 1/2 this long. So now I'm tired of just existing, getting by, chugging along. Now I want to break through my fears about what I can actually accomplish in this life and pursue it. Now, I need to be honest with myself about what it is I want and then go after it, fear or not.
I'm often afraid of what other people think of me. This is limiting in a lot of ways. I'm less likely to put myself out there, and less likely to ask for what I need. More practically, even just doing things by myself can, not necessarily scare me, but cause a lot of anxiety so I talk myself out of it. Like taking a long walk, or going to a movie or restaurant alone. I'm going to try to make myself heard, and try not to regret it when I do.
I am afraid of failure -- as a man, as a husband, as a father. I have failed at all three at least once, and I fear doing so again. I need to learn more about the roots of my fear. Only with understanding will I gain strength.
Two things have caused me to worry endlessly and have uncomfortable sleep: the fear that despite everything I have learned and experienced, I am not good enough to have a decent career; and the fear that for all my misgivings about my longtime girlfriend and a growing desire to end things, I would be unable to find someone better that could make me happier. For the first one, I really need to just start applying for positions that interest me, so that I can get some interviews or something. Not meeting the preferred requirements scares me off from applying, but really I should give it a shot. I worry about getting flatly turned down, as there have been many times when you get no response at all from an application. Underlying this fear is a worry that I will wind up in a stressful, ill-suited workplace like my previous several jobs were. All of that makes me hesitant to even try, but surely there are many more great places to work just waiting for me. I plan on looking towards a glass half full world. For the second one, the length of the relationship and the difficulty I had in finding a compatible girlfriend are the biggest factors contributing to my fear. I am a more outgoing person now, but when the relationship started 9 years ago, I was far from it. I was a shy person, and I connected with a similarly shy girl. Now I feel as though I need someone that will encourage and accompany me in this more outgoing part of my life, and my girlfriend is adamantly resistant. More so, I think she wants me to stay more reserved and not so excitable. I worry though that if I move on, finding the next love of my life will prove difficult. I still feel like I am that shy guy, that cant ask for what he wants. To overcome that, I want to do what I can to carry my own weight and be independent first. Our lives are so intertwined that my leaving would put me on the street basically, since she is the primary bread winner. Once I can stop feeling so dependent, I will reevaluate the situation. Maybe I just need to be more social, to feel attractive again. Then the idea of meeting someone better can feel like more of a possibility.
This is a question that has no neat answer for me. My fears are buried so deeply I am not sure that I can access easily. They are there because they are creating roadblocks for me and my dreams of the future. I hope to access these fears so they can be addressed and overcome,
I fear rejection. I don't know how to get over it, so I try different things, even when I'm quaking in my shoes. I'm not shy, I just don't do group socializing very well. I tend to fall back and just observe. Sometimes, when I'm within groups, I feel outside the group, and I don't know how to connect. In the back of my mind, I'm over-analyzing EVERYTHING. I also feel like time doesn't work in my favor. I feel like people tend to gravitate more to the friends they already have than the new person. Add that I'm more of an introvert... it's just not easy. Wasn't this a skill I was supposed to master when I was in grade school? Nope! Not for me at least. My goal is to continue to try. I'll go on group outings, I'll suggest outings. I'll try to join the conversation in group settings. I'll try to let my personality outshine my fears. That's all I can really do. Try. It may work, it may fail, but I will continue to try.
I fear investing in a business or starting one and not being able to see ahead, in terms of planning for growth or for letting it go. At the same time the fear of not being open enough to try it out and learn what I must from it without falling into the "business" old way of thinking.
As we age, I fear the disease and debilitation that might await both Dan and myself. As another friend is diagnosed with breast cancer and another breaks her femur from radiation, I hold onto my breasts and fear that it might be my turn. Illness is the antithesis of my abundant life, which isn't promised, only gifted. This hasn't limited me exactly, as it makes me want to live harder, but I greatly fear it, that I might be suffering as a spectator (!) if at all, rather than living fully. I will keep on thinking positively and be happy.
I'm afraid of my business failing. I'm not quite sure how to combat that just yet...
My fear was of running the business by myself without my business partner. I put up with her being checked out for too long. Seemed like too much work by myself. I'm letting go of this and going full steam ahead with my new team! I'mn CLAIMING my business. YAY!
I always have a fear of being found out to be not so competent - and not so nice. I'm am trying to learn more and do a better job this year. I'm also TRYING not to get sucked into the gossipy bitchiness that I so often seem to gravitate toward. I'm trying to be nicer about Scott's family. I want to be the person people think I am. It's hard.
becoming unable to manage my own life...finances... health...mood...generally fear failing...sometimes I wonder if the fear is what fuels the succeeding...it keeps me 'jumping,' so as to stay a few steps ahead... I used to be much lazier...letting things fall to Joe to work out, to worry about...the thought that down the road inevitably lies non-existence...is that a fear? Or simply something to stop and stare at? Do I Want to let that knowledge simply go? Every time someone dies, either before their time, or attaining great age...it is a reminder of how temporary we, each and all, are...
My chief fear at this time is that Trump will be elected president. I don't know what I will do in that case...stay and be a protestor or move away until he is out of office. I'm getting too old to deal with a jerk like Trump. I thought my protesting days were past.
Fear of my relationship failing actually damaged the relationship. It's generally better now but an increased openness and trust in my partner will help.
I'm worried that I will kill my marriage. This fear has paralyzed me and caused more harm through inaction than I ever could do by speaking up. It's difficult because of how sensitive my wife is, but I need to find a way to tell her that I'm feeling lost and abandoned.
Fearless. Not really, but try my hardest to never let fear control my life on any level!!!!!!!
My fear is failing. I can certainly get up when I fall, but I am most fearful of falling so far and so long that getting up is like being born again. I plan to have set 'checkpoints' to which I can 'return' if I do falter.
I am scared of letting down my partner. I plan to be more loving to myself, practice self-curiosity, and share my findings with her.
My anxiety seems to be getting worse. I'm actually anxious about having anxiety......how crazy is that. Not even sure all the time what I'm anxious about. Not sure if it has to do with menopause or is all psychological. I would like to work on cognitive strategies to deal with the anxiety. Although medication is a wonderful thing I would like to continue to use medication minimally.
My fear is failure and lack of security. I need to trust myself that everything will be ok if I step out and take a risk. I'm not sure how I will let it go, but I plan on doing more and waiting less.
I fear to disappoint people. When I think about it, I know that most people don't care that much. But that's just how I feel. I would like to practice a more relaxed attitude.
I fear losing control of my space, my time, my body. I honestly don't have a plan for attacking this fear...right now, I nag Ben all the time about cleaning the house, and that's not a solution. I workout all the time, but that's also not going to be sustainable in the long run, and I want to be safe/healthy for a long time. So, I know I can't wake up tomorrow and magically not care about controlling my life. But I probably could start to evaluate what actually matters, and prioritize controlling only those things. So that would not be a stray glass left on the table, but maybe instead controlling the quality of my relationships with my friends and family, because that actually matters.
I am trying to overcome the constant fear for my son's safety. This began last November when he went into the IDF and is getting worse as he is taking on more difficult tasks. I think this is something that each mother here in Israel faces but my son are alone here with no family since my husband died 5 1/2 years ago. I am working on this so it doesn't become all I think about it. Keeping busier seems to help and talking to friends about it.
My biggest fear is FAILURE. I thought I had conquered it five years ago. I was bold and peaceful. Now it is back. It limits my creativity, my peace of mind, and my ability to connect with others. My plan is to keep it real -- keep sharing my fears, secrets, and aspirations. Keep reminding myself that we are truly NOTHING in the time of the universe -- dinosaurs lived much longer and suffered less low self esteem!
I have a fear of not having enough money, which plays out by my taking safe career choices rather than pursuing my calling. I do think I'm going to change jobs in 2017 and try to pursue writing as a career for the near future. Just doing it on the side doesn't give me enough time to market my work, which I'm happy to say is piling up.
I feared that being authentic meant giving up and letting go..... I no longer look at letting go but letting be. Letting everything be, trusting, using my feelings as a compass, a guide and trying to stay true to myself.
Temía no volver a ser feliz con alguien, sentía que ya lo había intentado todo y al perder a mi familia, creía que no iba a poder volver a intentarlo o al menos no me iba a dar ganas... al conocer a Pipi todo miedo quedó atrás rápidamente
My glaucoma progresses, and I think a lot about blindness. Or more precisely, how much vision is necessary for me to live the life I want to live. I've learned that one does adjust to an increasing number of small limits -- reading a street sign, making out the print in my grandson's books (especially against a colored background). But letting it go is more or less a natural process. I'm grateful for the sight I have.
I have a deep fear that no one actually gives a shit about me- that I'm not interesting or inherently valuable in any way. In the course of my life it has made me feel suicidal, like an outsider, painstakingly shy etc. I have begun to make contact with this feeling and sort of get a handle on it in the past few years but I still feel it creeping up when I feel like I'm talking too much or sharing my fears/thoughts/wishes etc. It's like I'll suddenly feel like the person isn't really listening and is thinking that I'm droning on and that they don't really want to hear anything beyond the surface level of my thoughts. I hide behind this fear and use it as a shield to simultaneously not let people in because if they don't really care, nothing can come of it. In the coming year I will work to let it go by trying to really tune into what my listener is actually feeling. And celebrate the moments when I feel heard because I'm sure they're happening more often than I'm catching them. I will also just share my fucking thoughts and if the person is actually bored with what I'm saying, I will experience that moment and not let it rock me to my core. It's okay if people don't care sometimes!! That is allowed. I am still a valuable, worthy person.
I have had a fear of doing things outside of my comofrt zone, but I'm doing well and overcoing that in the last year, and I think that will continue next year. It stops me doing things that I want to do, going places on my own or meeting new people because I don't know if I can do it.
I get overwhelmed sometimes with my brother's care, worrying about my daughters, and finishing school. I am trying to take one step at a time and stay in the present. I also need to stop worrying about getting older- it's going to happen whether I worry or not.
Well, I am terrified of the American people that are not as open minded as those in the more urban locations. I definitely feel the fear holds me back, especially as a person of color. I need to be more confident in who I am and expect that justice will find me and infuse all that I do in the world. America is just one place, and not all Americans are prejudiced.
I'm terrified of being alone for the rest of my life. I fear that there's no one left out there for someone like me - ambitious, kids grown (had them early), educated, fun and then some. Everyone in my age range (42-49) still have school-age children - not that that's a relationship killer, but I am in a unique situation and I am terribly lonely. I am 44, fit, decent looking and active. Spirituality is important to me, and the pickings are slim. But married men chase me and single men are looking for women who are willing to have children (i.e., YOUNGER). Thankfully I am in a new career. Work, as well as attending temple, take up my time. Guess I'm bound to the career and have to let the idea go of meeting anyone with my same interests. The resignation of being alone is hard, but I'm working on it.
I aqm afraid, evidently, of dedicating myself wholly to video. I am trying ti find out why, and correct myself.
I am deeply ashamed of being disabled. I have internalized every hurtful thing said to me or about "retards" in general. When things are tough for me because of my developmental delays I either convince myself that I "can't" do something (like drive a car) or I spend days anxious that I have ruined everything (like when I am completely mute when meeting friends in new situations). I have refused to seek help so that I am not a burden. I have also refusef to accept help so that I do not have to face my disability. I hate that I haven't met certain developmental benchmarks. I hate that I need so much help. I plan to let go of the fear that I will never succeed in my goals ( driving, maintaining friendships, being social). I plan on praising myself for trying, for not giving up. I plan to be more honest with myself about having high functioning autism. I plan on being greatful for what I am able to do. I plan on being more open with other people about my struggles and boundaries. I want to believe that others, especially friends and family, are caring and understanding people.
Im afraid that we are going broke living in the Mountains and we are going to be forced to move. I am planning another place to live and trying to enjoy my time here and focuse on the present during my day to day routine.
Definitely fear of being vulnerable and then being rejected. Falling in love and being cheated on or left. Both of these are works in progress.
I have a fear of losing those close to me. Not sure I'll every get over this one (or overcome it). It hasn't limited me yet but I do avoid funerals (of those I'm not close with). I hope to be more supportive of those going through the mourning process as I know and fully understand it is an inevitable part of life.
I guess my fear is being outside my comfort zone... in other words, traveling. haha. I want to push on the walls of my zone so it doesn't shrink any more this year. I'll do this thru sobriety and self talk and prayer.
Failure. It keeps me from taking risks, and being decisive. I would like to try to know that good things can come of failure - and not just "lessons learned" but other options or perspectives.
Fear of failure. Fear of not following through. I try to push through these fears by planning ahead and scheduling myself to do the things I fear to do. I think this makes me a little obsessive compulsive to accomplish what I fear to do. This can sometimes get in the way of being in the moment because it forces me to plan ahead and keep on top of what I have to do. I'm not planning on "letting it go" though. Work necessitates planning and organization. I don't believe I can let go and be successful at work. Maybe if I ever retire, I can work more on letting go of my fears. Not now. Fear of loved ones getting hurt: must think positively.
I am afraid that I am not good enough. I have been told all of my life that I am not "x" enough. Sometimes I believe it.
Dying, hurting John, hurting my children, failure, wasting life. I need to live my life - those are the only ways to overcome.
I fear my kids will resent me. While I'm, happy of course, that they enjoy being with Frank, each year they get more like him and enjoy our once shared interests less. Couple that with the blame they may place in me, and, yeah, it's scary. But they are happy and healthy and are growing up to be fine young men. They need to see a happy, healthy mom. I need to believe in the importance of my own self worth and not have it simply be lip service. I need to convince myself. Maybe it takes the leap of faith or maybe it will just reveal itself slowly. I suppose either way, it's coming. Ready or not.
Again, as always, I fear death like nothing else. This has translated into a fear of getting into a car crash or getting cancer or.....et cetera. I fear death less for myself and more because I would be so heartbroken to not be able to see my children grow up, and to not be there for them throughout their lives. I say this every year. I don't know if I will ever overcome it. I suppose I will overcome it when, you know, I die. I see other people struggle with children who are sick or injured or worse....and I am heartbroken for them and unbelievably thankful for my healthy, strong boys. I can't imagine anything like that happening to them...it's almost like they seem invincible to me. I don't "fear" something happening to them so much as I refuse to accept it as a possibility. So perhaps that means that I fear it to the point of numbness.
One great fear is that I'll never publish again. This is due to nothing else but my massive writer's block. I plan to have a regular routine -- I know I get nothing important done without one. I also need to do something different -- find a writing coach, someone to whom I'll have to report -- show -- my work in progress. Hopefully, those two things will allow me to get the work done.
I have a fear of what other people will think of me when I do certain things, which has limited me in really pursuing a number of passions I have. Going forward, I will not wait to pursue what I want and immediately dive into what I want to do, regardless of what other people will think.
Fear of losing it. I plan to overcome this by not losing it.
Moving out of town away from my family is a big fear. If the opportunity is right I feel like I should just go for it
I worry about my future constantly. It comes from getting laid off after the great recession and then having my career fizzle. I have a steady job for now but I feel like I have a constant nagging that it could fall apart at any time. I did ok and landed on my feet after the lay off (and a long period of unemployment and an equally long period of temp work). I live rather simply to start with.But the uncertainty of the job future just gnaws at me. And it'snot like I'm ill prepared for the job market. I have an advanced degree and a range of solid work experience. I think the worst part of my extended unemployment after the recession was that no employers even called me for an interview until I took my advanced degree OFF my resume--at least then a temp agency found me work. In the coming year I hope to just let it go. And to remind myself that if it all falls apart again that I can make it through. That I know how to get things done.That I can work a job that's 'beneath' me if it's the difference between working and not.And I have been trying to fill my life with experiences and people that are more important than work. I just want the nagging feeling to go away.
I suppose never getting another job. But it's not a crippling fear. The only way to overcome it is the obvious way.
I have had an anxiety disorder for a long time. So I could be afraid of many things, but mostly now it is about my computer. Don't get me wrong! I love my computer & the many things it does for me. Most of all I love how it stores over 4000 pictures I can display on my screensaver. I was afraid of losing my pix & recently tried to back them up & have had all kinds of technical problems with that that are ongoing, but I am managing to get through it. I take meds & work with a therapist to overcome anxiety. Many things can help, but the best thing I can do is keep a list & when problems causing anxiety come up, I write what I did to help it & rate the degree of anxiety before & after the thing I did. Whether it is seeking technical advice or meditating many things help. So I keep doing those things and rating how much they helped me. The question also asks how this fear has limited me, & I must say it doesn't limit the things I do but only how I feel, & I would rather feel calm, content, & happy instead of tense, worried, & disturbed. As I think back, another way it has limited me is that I don't work well under pressure or when multi-tasked. The solution to that is to not get a job where I have to think & make decisions under pressure. I am content to pursue artistic expression & make my living as a massage therapist.
I am afraid of growing old. I am afraid of losing control of me. My life. I have no clue what to do.
Fear of responsibility and growing up. Becoming stagnant. I let it go by taking responsibility for myself and my actions. By doing the thing a that aren't necessarily fun but that are important. I also have to be ok with sitting still and taking things easy.
I am afraid of not getting a job - of not being able to support my family - of being a failure at one more thing. From picking bad husbands, losing good jobs through my attitude/behavior/temperment, I have a long streak of failures. My house has become another failure - If I am in this same situation next year, I honestly don't think I will survive
Fear of failure! Of being judged as lazy or ineffective! This is poisonous! The answer is presence, kindness, permission, communion!
Putting aside my fear of letting others manage/handle my money, which I've already indicated I've had enough of discussing, I really don't have fears which limit me in any way that concerns me. I am not a high risk kind of person, but I don't have any regrets about not sky-diving, motorcycle riding, downhill skiing, etc. I have had many wonderful, exciting, awe-inspiring experiences, and have a full and satisfying life in many ways.
One fear that has always followed me throughout my life has been failure. At some points this year, I have felt like the worlds biggest failure. Most of it being in school, I have completed neglected my school work for god knows what reason and have failed. It scares me and makes me so anxious. I just want to make my friends, family, and Joseph proud, but sometimes I feel like I will never live up that that and I will fail and disappoint everyone. I just want to be happy and successful, and am scared out of my mind that that will not happen, that I will simply be a failure.
Thirteen years ago I desperately wanted to be with Erica. Now I can relate to the fear of being with her. She is possessed with fundamentalist ultra-Orthodoxy, and the control over others indoctrinated from childhood on, is abuse. I want nothing to do with anyone attached to that. TAINTED LOVE Sometimes I feel I've got to Run away I've got to Get away From the pain that you drive into the heart of me The love we share Seems to go nowhere I've lost my lights I toss and turn I can't sleep at night Once I ran to you (I ran) Now I'll run from you This tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you Take my tears and that's not nearly all Tainted love Tainted love Now I know I've got to Run away I've got to Get away You don't really want any more from me To make things right You need someone to hold you tight You think love is to pray I'm sorry I don't pray that way Once I ran to you (I ran) Now I'll run from you This tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you Take my tears and that's not nearly all Tainted love Tainted love Don't touch me please I cannot stand the way you tease I love you though you hurt me so Now I'm going to pack my things and go Touch me baby, tainted love Touch me baby, tainted love Touch me baby, tainted love Once I ran to you (I ran) Now I'll run from you This tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you Take my tears and that's not nearly all Tainted love Tainted love Tainted love
I am afraid of tons of stuff which are perfectly reasonable to be afraid of. I could list them all day long. But here is one that I would like to lose. I am a little afraid of the night. When it gets dark, I just want to be home in a small, safe space. Unfortunately, there is a lot that goes on at night, and I am missing a good piece of the action. I would like to get out a bit more. How? Just start!
I am afraid of disappointing people. I clam up when faced with too many people to please, and I forget to listen to what I know to be true in my heart, what would satisfy myself first and therefore serve others better. In the next year, I hope to practice holding onto my own compass needle at work. I will do this by grounding myself in our big goals, and looking at the small, incremental ways I can effect change. This might mean making a rubric for myself before grading an exam, or waiting an hour before writing back to a parent email.
I fear the consequences of doing or saying the wrong thing. As a result, I tend to either not be authentically myself, play it safe/not take risks, or berate myself for what I see to be mistakes. I'm not sure how to break this cycle, as I have been doing this for a very long time. I think I need to work on accepting myself and my humanness to a greater degree, and forgiving myself for not being perfect.
I fear that I will continue being a disappointment to myself and fear more that I will not discover a way to let go of this ridiculous view of myself. It stops everything I want to do, anything creative or enriching, because I say to myself, "what's the use". I have what I have to offer myself and others and should not hold it up to be measured.
Retiring. Being poor. Believe that G-day will take care of me
I never realized I had a fear of failing until I started painting and I froze in procrastination when I didn't know how to do something. Looking back, I realize that I had been doing it, in different circumstances, throughout my life. I plan to let it go by just forging ahead knowing I can correct my mistakes.
Fear of making the wrong choices. The only way to get rid of it is to make choices, based upon the best information I have, and learn to live with the consequences.
I fear losing my children, or them losing me. But I don't believe that it limits me, and I have no plans on overcoming that fear!
That I'll always be living hand-to-mouth, paycheck-to-paycheck. We're getting by but it's still hard. When my contract comes up in July and I switch over, I'm going to fight for a decent salary. I'm making a living wage right now but I could be making a LOT more in my field, so I'm going to fight for it so we can live more comfortably.
I fear I'll die having never been loved. I don't know if there's a way to overcome such a fear, or to let it go.
I have a fear of not being in control - this comes in lots of forms. Not being in control of my emotions, not being in control of how someone might interpret things I do or say (only in specific situations). For example, if I say something to a friend or a guy and I feel I'm being vulnerable and brave, I fear that I might be misunderstood. I fear that I won't ever fall in love or that I won't find someone that will love me. I fear telling people how I really feel and challenging the roles and patterns that have always been in place. It has limited my relationships a lot I think. It is changing slowly but I have remained guarded and aloof. The last few years of my life have been the most rich in terms of developing great friendships. I feel now that falling in love perhaps is a matter of timing. And in fact I believe it is. So some days I think this will happen, eventually the numbers will be in my favour. If I am open to it. Other days, I feel like it is never going to happen and I have to sit and wait for that misery to pass. And it does. I will just keep showing up and working on being courageous, open and authentic. I also fear that I will go back to Sam again. At some point, usually after I have removed myself and feel strong again, I make a decision that leads to us reconnecting. I'm scared I will do this again. I have deleted his texts and numbers so it would have to be from him messaging me. Which I can ignore for a while. I think the trick is to not meet in person.Or meeting someone else before that happens
I fear being used up, dried up and isolated by the time my father lets me go. This fear drives down my confidence I want to live without this waiting for him to allow me to continue my life. This just feels like limbo and will I be capable of a fulfilling life after. This cannot be all there is for me
My health has been under the microscope for the past year. There are a lot of unanswered questions and I am not afraid perse, but I do see time slipping away. I have lost a couple friends over the past year people not much older than myself. So I think I need to refocus my efforts and set my energies to achieving my goals. I think I have set myself up well financially so I should have a measure of independence partway through 2017. It remains to be seen whether I can capitalize of the extra time I will have once I retire.
I have a constant fear that I am inadequate, awkward, unintelligent, lazy, difficult and inferior in a large variety of ways. Idistance myself from people. I don't take care of myself. I limit myself on the amount of pleasure and joy that I'm allowed. I long to be loved. I long to be enough.
my # big fear is Trump becoming president- or Clinton having to battle a republican congress and senate. Letting go- just live with the outcome. Other than that- no big fears.
Upward mobility at work... hampered by a couple of things, including language. Am working on the language part and hoping to make a big change this year... but I don't know whether that will mean leaving the government - I have too much time invested to just walk away at this point.
I'm afraid that I can't do it - can't find a new job, I'm not really wanted in social situations, I think I see boredom in people's faces, can't find someone to love and be loved by. I withdraw, don't talk, don't take part, don't look, don't put myself out there. I plan to learn to talk to anybody, by talking to anybody.
Fear of being irrelevant and not finding meaningful things to fill my life and days
Fear isn't the right word, but I have a constant "awareness" and maybe low-level simmer of concern about our money situation. We are very stable and have some savings; we have no debt besides our mortgages and are saving for retirement. We don't even have a money "situation." Everything is fine. Yet I still find myself thinking, "we need more savings in case something happens" and am aware we don't have enough to do everything we want to do all at once. But very few do and our financial situation is better than well over half of Americans (forget the rest of the world!). So where is this low level fear/worry coming from? I want to feel more satisfied and comfortable with where we are now. Part of addressing it is to continue to keep up our current financial practices, but another part is purely mental, purely psychological. Maybe I need to 4th, 5th and 6th step it!
A fear that I have had - and continue to have - is about finances. I'm in the process of changing jobs to something I think I will enjoy much more (when I've settled in, at least) and I have to take a big pay cut. Amber tried a new job for a couple of weeks but unfortunately it was a bit too physically strenuous so she's going to serve her notice period and will then be back to looking for something else. Thankfully we've got a few blessings to count; we have Christmas and the wedding coming up, which mean financial help, I just got a big tax rebate, and I still have a second job for now. Amber also has another interview tomorrow for something less labour-intensive. I'm hoping that having that little extra money and allowing ourselves to get jobs we hopefully enjoy will help financial stability and make us overall happier people.
I think my biggest fear is truly living to my full potential. I've never done it, or if I have I've self-sabotaged very quickly. I know I have an amazing life to live. And I know my mental illness does not HAVE to stop me from living it. And yet it does. I have many tricks up my sleeve for living a full and satisfying life. I either don't practice them or I don't use them. That is my own fault. I need to bite the bullet, get off my sick bed, and live my fuckin' life!!!!!
being a failure as a mother and wife. I just try to do my best.
I often fear that I will do something wrong, which can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I plan to let that go this year by reminding myself of all the things I've done right.
I have a fear of scarcity, both of food and of companionship, and often money as well. I can, freeze, and dry fruit, make soups in advance, etc, and am only somewhat reassured by the rows of colorful jars as a bulwark against lean times. I know this is a form of spiritual arrogance, thinking that I have more control over my life and times than the Creator does, and so I would like to change my thinking to be more of an appreciation and gratitude for all the produce instead of saving it out of fear. Sometimes I am sitting in fear of the future, of being alone without my children around, and my long-distance partner far off, wondering if we will ever get it together enough to live in the same place. At the same time, I also worry about the blending of lives -- not so easy to do at our ages. And still, would I be better off in my humanity if he were nearby? could I learn to share my space with him after all this time?
I think I have a fear of failing at my art. That no one will understand it. Or that worst of all, I will grow old and not have been the artist I was meant to be. I guess I am in the thick of a mid-life crisis in a way. I don't feel my career is taking off in the way I thought it would by now and feel confronted by choices to make things better, richer, more alive. Or to fail. And I desperately don't want to fail. Maybe I need to fail spectacularly to truly rise from the ashes again.
Fear of being nothing - not finishing school and having a job. Let go by embracing the journey and not worrying what people think.
Oh, the fear. All the fear. I fear losing my wife to new cancer. That fear is a wizened dead child ghost who just sits in the edge of my vision. Sometimes it reaches out and touches me in the heart with its little cold fingers. I fear entropy. That fear is an angry one, but still quiet. I never catch sight of it, but I know its there. It dirties things, and breaks things, and wears holes in things when I'm not looking. It makes me sad for the things I like, that it will break them or diminish them. I fear irrelevance. I am immensely privileged, all things considered. I have never had to work hard for anything: I wonder what that's like. I fear to find out. I fear never being true to myself. I fear that being true to myself is actually me in a supported coma, dreaming wonderful things. I fear the death of the planet. In the afterlife, I fear not being able to look into the eyes of all the animals we have destroyed not out of malice or need, but because they could not adapt to the callous, selfish appalling things we do to each other and to them. I fear not hanging round long enough to see how it all turns out. I fear.
I fear that I am going to let down friends when I choose staying in or hanging out with other friends over them. I fear that I am becoming distant from people who I thought I would stay close to for years. I plan to make an effort to spend time with them, but also not feel bad if I take time to myself. Socializing shouldn't be stressful.
Globally: I fear the impact of global climate change on our fellow creatures. -I will do what I can do locally. Nationally: I fear the state of our country and fear that trump could be elected with a primarily 'republican' house and senate. The fear stops me in my tracks at times. -I will vote and donate where I can to make positive change. Personally: I fear aging and the limitations it puts on my activities and interactions. -I will exercise, eat well, and aim to get 8 hours of sleep nightly.
I'm afraid I'll never see my son again, that he'll keep his distance until long after I am dead. I can hardly bear thinking this and am praying everyday to let go of my need to see him again and the fear that I never will. It is hard. I practice letting him go with complete love and freedom.
Fear of not doing enough, not being productive enough. needing to follow some pre-determined path of what defines success. Fear that that there is so much BS going on the world, and that I need to actively work each day to help right some of these wrongs. Because if I don't- what's the point? I want to let go of the fear that I should be doing something in particular be a certain way by not conforming and feeling OK with it.
Everything that I ever feared would or could happen to me has happened during the past 10 years. I have nothing left that I fear. There are times when I think I must have *something* left to be afraid of but I have not been able to come up with anything. Nothing. I'm at complete peace, probably for the first time in my life. Fear is a great motivator and the downside to being at peace is that sometimes I think I feel unmotivated. I'm beginning to think that maybe I was never motivated at all, that all I was doing was responding to some fear or other that got me moving to address and resolve it. So is being at peace really being unmotivated or is it that for the first time in my life, I'm experiencing true and contentment?
I seem to have a fear of the unknown. From not knowing what summer camp was like, I got so sick from nervousness that my Mom didn't let me go to fear of divorce and holding on to a bad marriage too long to fearing I didn't do a good enough job raising my kids. All those fears are fears for the future. To let go is getting easier. The past few years I have come to know myself finally as I mature as an adult. Only in my 40's but it seems the time in life when the majority of us women find ourselves for real. I am going to try to slow down and enjoy every moment in the moment. My kids are adults. There is nothing I can go back and change. I just have to be positive going forward. I can only do that if I am mindful of it. So I am going to focus on living with purpose.
I fear not being enough, not doing enough. I am constantly questioning if I have done enough in my work life and on a daily basis. When I have a bad day and don't end up doing much, I feel guilt and worry that it's a sign that I am not enough and not capable of more. Learning to forgive myself is important, and to trust that I am working towards bringing change and healing in this world. I am perfect where I am at this moment. I am perfect where I am in the current moment.
Interestingly - I loved my answer to this question last year, which was the only thing I really fear is my own fearlessness. I think that's still true. I am not worried about failure or being strong enough or loving too much. I fear my ability to jump off ledges, to run as far and as fast as I can - I fear my own faith in my ability to fly. There's no overcoming it. I think there is just a need to temper it. Check in with it and make sure that this is the moment I want to run. Not all days must be brave ones.
I fear getting old and ugly. I do feel like I both allow myself to let that fear diminsh, and then it spikes again. I don't know how to overcome it. Just keep telling yourself you are lucky you aren't dead.
I am financially unstable, and this causes me a lot of fear. The fear itself limits me because I'm surrounded by people who come from money and/or who never had to go into debt for education or to help family and don't understand what it's like. I have to make excuses for why I can't participate in travel and events, and can't even go out for a spontaneous dinner or drinks. I'm supposedly a professional who makes good money, but having no financial safety net is scary and has forced me to make short-term decisions that limit my long-term stability.
I am afraid of retirement...real retirement. I'm talking about it, stating it publicly and forcing myself to acknowledge that it is the right move for me. June 30, 2017. Real retirement.
I have a fear of husband gambling our money and me being alone . That I won't be able to forgive him let the anger go and become at peace . I am afraid I will never be able to define and maintain abstinance in any program. Afraid to trust the process and God and let spirit in . I am afraid to forgive lest I be hurt as I have in the past . I am afraid to let my guard down and trust and be vulnerable . Afraid to stop the comfort ways of going to food and isolating for comfort and to be loving and patient and not stern . I plan on getting counseling for self , Gamanon , Oa online , marriage counseling , using apps tools prayer reaching out spirit and prayer talk to God and one day at a time
Fear of not being accepted. Fear of not belonging. Fear of ridicule, judgment. If I am strong in myself and my belief in myself, strong in what I believe is right and just, strong in my trust of my guides, then I can be that beacon of light for the ships over here, without caring what others think or how they judge. Their opinions say nothing about me and much about them. They don't diminish my light.
Fear? Oh, I'm a parent. I fear something happening to one of my children. My son, I worry frequently about his not making enough from his job to support himself. He has not found a career. He has various interests, but has yet to find a job that he really enjoys. I don't know how to help him--he's 30. It doesn't really limit me, other than we are subsidizing his life--rent, car, phone--which means less cash for us. But we don't need much. It's the helplessness that is so hard. Overcoming? Diplomatic nudging, I guess. Letting go? No, he's my child.
I'm scared that I'll always be destined to start a big project then stop it right when it gets hard. But now with Ella there is no stopping! She was born today and the greatest projects of all has just begun.
I think I have a bit of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). Part of it is rooted in a healthy desire to be available and serve well, and I've always prided myself on being available to help. That being said, the out-of-balance weakness is the fear that if I say, "no" then I'll miss out on stuff. I think the solution is to try to stay focused on things that move the needle in the areas for which I have responsibility. If I can do that, focus on purpose and responsibility, then I can do a better job of managing my time and my fears about missing out.
I avoid conflict- sometimes to my own detriment. It's left over from childhood when I needed to feel and be safe in an often chaotic and threatening household. It probably kept me safe then, but now it keeps me stuck in old relationship patterns and allows certain people to have too much negative effect on my mental health. Being consciously aware of the pattern helps, and I need to remember that I'm not a kid who's dependent on someone else anymore. I can choose whether to engage or walk away as I need to now.
I've always let my fear of being alone limit my enjoyment of my life. I could be happy...but only to a certain point. After all, how could I be truly happy if I didn't have a man to love me? Society puts SO MUCH emphasis on the act of marriage and the output of children...it's no wonder I used to feel inadequate and incomplete with neither! Now, though I still wish for love and a family, I realize that happiness does not come from them. Having that does not mean keeping that, and the friends I see losing their marriages are suffering in ways I will never have to. What I am, what I have, it is enough.
I am afraid of amounting to nothing. This is not new. The more busy I keep myself, the less I am likely to spiral into an anxiety/depression hole of "no one REALLY cares about me" "I don't REALLY matter" "I am not doing the best I can, and I don't think I ever will get there meh." Along with this, I get really cynical and think the worst of people. That they are inherently selfish--everything they do they do for themselves and no one else. I hate this. I have been learning how to deal with myself in such a way that this spirally hole does not happen. BUT, I cannot get TOO busy, on the other hand, or I stress myself out to the point where I end up doing nothing because I am so overwhelmed. And then whoop, there we go, I am back in my hole. "I am worthless" "I will not amount to anything nearly as big as I want to" "BLAH NO ONE CARES." ...what was the question? Ah yes. Fears. Yep those are my big ones. Good thing I can control them. I couldn't really stop spiders from existing. (Spiders are a petty fear anyway.)
Alzheimer's Exercise and vegan diet
My husband dying...think about it all the time. Not sure it can be over come. I just want to live each day's with him.
I fear not returning to my goal weight. I'm diligent about Weight Watchers, but have been stuck at a stubborn plateau. I will keep plugging on. I'm also nervous about litigation from a relative's estate. Hopefully it won't come to that.
Fear of my chronic condition getting to next level. I plan on letting my fear go by trust in G_d and my Doctor. And pray I can keep the will power to stay on my rigid diet and exercise routine to keep the condition stabilized. Am very thankful for the health I have.
I am afraid of dying--or, rather, of not being. Today happens to be a milestone birthday for me--65--and that takes me closer to worries of such kind. I cannot help but be impacted by knowing my mother died at the age of 67. I hope to be able to come to grips with this fear, which, given my many heather issues, is not entirely irrational, but which can be impacted by taking better care of myself.
The fear of opening my heart and being severely wounded has held me back throughout my life. I have taken far more chances than many people do, and risked much of myself in order to experience intimacy and belonging. But I can honestly say that I have never been intimately loved by a healthy man who has a whole heart to give. As I recently examined all my adult relationships, I saw that in each case there was a holding back -- an impotence, whether physical, emotional, or both -- that made each relationship less than love. I have been consciously seeking, for my whole adult life: healing and help and wisdom and insight and surrender. I can only continue to say yes, as much as I am able, one day at a time.
I fear doing something wrong, in disappointing people. So I don't start things, find reasons not to do them, so I don't have to deal with messing up. I'm hoping that allowing myself to make a messy bullet journal will get me used to little mistakes that don't damage the whole.
The prospect of illness and being infirm, either myself or my husband, haunts me. I know that maintaining a healthy life-style will help, but the fear is still present.
I am afraid of what people think of me. It's affecting me a lot just now - I feel like if I go home after this breakup that people will see it as my failure, as me skinning back with my tail between my legs. Conversely I think while I stay it looks as though I'm clinging on to the life I thought I had with him here. There's no winning as long as I worry about this! I want to say what I think without censoring myself, to be honest about what I want, and to make decisions based on what is within me rather than any external opinions or pressures.
Fear of runnning out of time FROT (also manifest as FOMO--fear of missing out). I experience this fear (think these thoughts) part of almost every day. Sometimes the anxiety associated with FROT or FOMO energizes me to get through lots of tasks and encounters in a positive way. When the anxiety spills into fear, it can cause me to rush through otherwise pleasurable activities, have accidents (especially when doing something I don't want to do) and be overly compulsive about checking off my "to do" list. The FROT makes me feel "fraught."
I fear being abandoned, unloved, and discarded. It is almost better to not let people love me than to have them drop me later. So I hold people apart, and then cling to the few I let close until I smother them. I need to grow in confidence, be able to ask for help and be OK if I do think get it. I need to balance vulnerability and independence.
There isn't really that much I'm afraid of...at least not that bothers me or that I want to overcome. I don't feel limited. I feel as thought I am living the life I want to live. Maybe my dreams are too small...but I'm happy.
I lack confidence - not necessarily in my abilities but because of my looks and weight. Sometimes I do just let it go, othertimes I allow myself to believe that those who can't see me for who I am don't deserve to have me in their life.
A fear that I have and that I had last year is men. I don't want to talk to them, sit next to them....there are thankfully many exceptions such as my students, almost all my co-workers, neighbors, friends, and my brother. Butthe thought of being romantically involved with one is scary. With counseling I could let my fear go but I'm not going to focus on that next year. I am aware for the first time in years though that I do want a boyfriend. I do want someone who will love me. I feel so self-conscious and ashamed when I talk to men. I wish I wasn't like this. I don't date because of this and I have been single for three years because of this fear. I avoid talking to people and developing friendships because of my fear.
I have a fear of getting dementia. I find that words will not come to me, therefore, I do not speak when I am in a public setting unless I have rehearsed what I want to say. I do not think there is much to do in overcoming it because it is something that gets worse with time.
I have a fear of not going after what I want, rather I accept things as the fall onto me. This ranges from work to personal, even intimate relationships. I want to become more in control of what I do and who I spend time with. I believe overcoming it means discerning what it is I want and don't want, learning how to say and actually applying the word "no" and actively going after the things I want.
I'm really afraid of being confrontational with people. So much so that it's hard just to be around them because people are unpredictable beasts. In the last several years, I've spoken my mind and asked for help less and less and now I'm pretty isolated and constantly finding myself biting my tongue. I just started working on turning that around, though.
My greatest fear is losing my children. It has been since they were born. Whether it is through the court system or from a health issue, I am terrified at the thought of something terrible happening to them. When my youngest son was born, my ex-husband had already tried to kidnap my older son, sued me in family court for full custody, and told our older son that we were going to have more children together. His mental illness and threats to our children terrified me, and continue to do so. It has limited me in that I am afraid of doing anything that would jeopardize our current court orders, and I am scared of getting even more on my ex-husband's wrong side. I am always careful of what I say about him to my children, and try to stay calm when they repeat lies that he has told them about me. As they get older, my boys are better at recognizing that the issues my ex-husband projects onto me are in fact his own. And they are reaching an age when they can come to their own conclusions about who has their best interests at heart. In the coming year I want to pray for greater trust in the plan of the Divine for our family, and greater trust in my children's judgment. It is not my place to manage the outcomes, but to care for them and make the choices I believe to be in their best interest.
I don't have many fears, although I'm not too thrilled about looking older and older even though I want to live a long time. I've been looking at long term care insurance. I have a fear of using up our substantial retirement savings by underestimating what could happen if one of us needs long term care in a nursing home. Still reviewing the options.
Fear of failure. Fear of listening to my heart and then being wrong. Fear of moving out of the city somewhere different. Fear of my parents getting older and not having kids in town to take care of them. No plan...just breath and face them.
Oh my god, this is excruciating. I wonder how many 10Qrs have actually had their spouse ask for a separation/divorce during the 10Q days. Well, mine did. I have a fear . . . of everything coming my way: of my spouse's anger not subsiding; of profound loneliness; of my children's sadness and possible epic struggles in the wake; of heading into difficult times of life (menopause, elder parent care, empty nest, aging, retirement, old age) alone, alone, alone; of never finding my groove again; of losing my interest in everything (or never regaining the interest I've lost); of being ignored and invisible as a single middle-aged woman; of never having intimacy in my life again; of never getting over my husband; of not taking control and drinking/eating my way into oblivion; of having to care for my dysfunctional brother on my own; of all of the logistics coming our way (will/trust/insurance/accounts/income/mortgages and payments/property); of all of the potential heartbreak; of never stopping crying; of not being successful at "adulting"; of tapping my friends' empathy and patience; of losing many people in my life; of never letting myself off the hook for ruining my life and hurting my love; of regretting my whole life. Letting it go? overcoming it? "IT"? I guess . . . going to therapy, letting emotions surge and subside, living day to day, writing my lists and trying to get small things accomplished, talking with my kids with compassion and respect, keeping my own dignity, being okay with loving the person who is leaving me.
Fear of being negatively evaluated because of my looks. I'm embarrassed to admit this. No one would ever guess this about me. I'm actually a nice looking person but I'm self-conscious about being 10 to 15 pounds overweight, about my face showing signs of aging, and about my hair. It's limited me because I avoid going places that require me to dress up--I refuse to buy clothing in a larger size--and because I have avoided doing somethings for my business--having a headshot taken for my website. I plan on losing the weight, finding out about plastic surgery, and finding a hair stylist and spending the money on a regular appointment. I'm not ready to accept the realities of aging and embrace them.
My real basic fears are all about death. They limit me less than at any other time in my life, though I'm capable of full-blown panic at the thought of anything happening to my kids. I try not to foist them on the kids. As for my own personal fears of dying, I take many more chances now than I ever did, especially with my health. At some point, probably sooner than later, I will be limited by my current addictions. I'm chasing a high, a euphoria that might overtake my regrets at the general disappointment underlying my actions, relationships etc. Knowing all about it isn't helping though. So far, I'm letting it sit. Maybe I'm deluding myself, but it may just dissolve in time. Overcoming it? Well, honestly, I have no idea if that's possible.
This is such an important focus of my life right now. I have had so much fear - particularly around being safe - that has limited my sense of freedom and ability to connect with myself and others. I am planning to continue my work to open to love, my body, and pleasure and invest less time in avoiding feared situations.
My fear/anxiety is linked to my self image and accomplishments. I trying to love myself how God sees me and not how I see myself.
The fear is Impermanence. Which calls up a sense of false security from all that clinging. Which, in turn, suffocates right action. What to do? Embrace Impermanence as the ally it can be.
Fear of "The Label." It's collateral damage. My husband is on the sex offender registry for a single offense he committed 25 years ago. The offense itself was ridiculous and he is certainly not a danger to anyone. Most of the time, I tend to "hide" the label from people as much as possible. This is a ridiculous thing because it is a public registry and easy to look up. Most of our neighbors now know; the vast majority of them are still friends with us regardless. (The ones who aren't...well, their loss.) We've been shunned from civic groups, clubs, and even churches because of the label. BOTH of us. The pushoff from a church was the most painful for me. I was stunned -- we were told that we could not participate in church wide activities "with everyone else." We could GO to events, but we weren't allowed to ride the church bus and had to drive ourselves. We could sing in the choir, "but please don't sit on the front seat, how about sitting here in the back corner".... It was ridiculous -- these were supposedly "Christian" people. I eventually found a more accepting church but he refuses to step foot inside another one. (Again -- their loss.) I would like to become more vocal in advocating reformation of the sex offender laws. I have connected with a group of other offender wives and I stand in awe of the gutsiness of some of those brave ladies. It is not a popular topic, and definitely not a popular stance. Our society today is label happy, and want to condemn and throw rocks at those they feel are unworthy. I'm not a confrontational person. Even sharing this on 10Q is stepping far out of my comfort zone.
Fear of people not respecting my opinions. This election has been so contentious and I hate it when my friends are in such a different place than I am and cannot understand that I hold a different opinion and I feel invalidated when they slam me for it. Hopefully after the election we will all let it go....
I am afraid of falling apart when the new baby comes. I think back to how difficult it was when Rowan was born and how much I struggled and it fills me with fear. I am really going to try to focus on one thing at time, if possible. That's really hard! So, when I am at work, I am going to try to be 100% there. Same for when I am at home. I have to go easy on myself and on Jeff and try to enjoy "the longest shortest time" and to remember that it is all phase and it ends.
I fear never being able to write anything that I am proud of. I am 64 and have been a writer almost my entire life, so that is sad. I am going to just make myself do it, and -- really -- what do I have to lose. If I write something bad, than so be it.
I have fears of losing people who are important to me. Best way to combat that is to be sure I let them know how much they mean to me. Appreciate who I have in my life and avoid toxic people.
My fear of being rejected and alienated because of what I don't know has held me back. I assume I missed a proper education on how to be and interact with other humans. I am afraid I'll be putted at any moment. I know rationally that everyone feels this way, but I can't shake it when I have to call someone for work or when I try to maintain my friendships. I am working in a group learning program and am in therapy. I think it will take experiences to feel like I am able to overcome or work around it.
I have a deep and profound fear of being poor. Growing up without much money made me keenl aware of the hardships that come with being on the low end of the economic scale. I have let my need for financial security influence my decisions all though my life. Now I have the opportunity to live a life based on what I want to do rather than trying to make sure I have enough money to live on. I have never been rich, I accept that I will never be rich, so now it remains for me to just live my life and stop worrying so much It's hard as I near retirement since I have legitimate concerns about what will happen when I am older and no longer able to work at all. But working will not make things any easier and will only take away what joy there is in lie. My neighbor was just found dead in his house. No one missed him until we smelled his decaying body. I am not willing to waste any more of my life. I will try to be happier in the moment while making reasonable plans for retirement in case I make it that far.
Certainly, fear of things getting worse. Being unhappy with the status quo is one thing, but when you realize all you have are first-world problems, it seems unwise to make a rash decision to make big changes that could result in less financial stability or worse educational opportunities or alienation from family. I wish I could let it go. I wish I could at least attack it in small doses. But in all likelihood, it's either a big change or no changes, so I'm not sure that's happening.
Asking for help ... being honest about how I feel ... How to change? Spend more time talking to the people I trust.
I fear flying and the lack of control that I feel in the air. I hope that I can working on my control issues in other aspects of my life which can help. I am also working on CBT with a therapist.
Failing....failing at anything & everything. Failing my kids from the big stuff to the little stuff. Not getting something they need for school when they need it, to not giving them the "right" support / encouragement when they need it or tough love. To failing with my work. Am I doing the right things? Am I "too much' of "me" for them, or should I tone it back. Should I really be the unfiltered me, or should I say what they want to hear? Failing my mom. What if I am not there for her when she needs me, since she is so far away? How to let it go? How to over come it? I think I am getting a little better at it every year. It is definitley an ongoing process and a maturing process. I am better this year, than I was last year, but I know I am not where I want to be yet.
Not having enough $. Cutting back on expenses, looking for a new job to earn more.
Of course my biggest fear is my son relapsing. It is not an option to "let it go". I just try to do what I have to which keeps me living in the moment, keeping busy. I continue to make plans
I think most fears are a lifelong battle. I still have the same fears as last year -- that I'm a failure, that I'm not good enough, that I'm too loud and obnoxious and not worthy of having "success." I'm working on it by redefining what is success and getting off my own case. It's hard. One of my worst fears already came true when I lost my Dad. Some fears are just facts of life. I was bound to lost him some day. That day just happened to be in August of last year. I will have a hard time losing any member of my family. But you have to move forward. You can't freeze, as my mom keeps telling me. I'm trying not to freeze.
Im afraid I'm not reaching my full potential because of unhealthy habits. Im trying to do the best I can
Now that I'm in my 80's, my greatest fears (in contrast to my existential concerns) are about my health: having a dementia, as my dad did from a fall, or ASL, its opposite, or a fall resulting in a broken hip that could spell the end of my life, at the worst, or the end of my active life as I now know it, or a sudden shift from an indolent prostate cancer to an aggressive one. I address the potential for a fall by doing exercises that improve my balance. I visit with a urologist and take the needed tests to assess the status of my prostate cancer. There is really very little I can do to prevent a disease process like ASL or Alzheimer's Disease. For all of these fears, I just try to make everyday count. I thank G-d in the morning for bringing to each new day and each night for allowing me a good day. I don't dwell on my fears. Because my past is far longer than my future, I try to make each day count.
So many fears, how do I choose? I spoke last year of my fears, they are much the same and I fear (heh heh) they will always be the same. But this year I will speak about the fear I have for my family and us not getting along. My own family growing up was quite dysfunctional and it is hard for me to be close to my siblings, as it was hard to be close to my parents. I very much want something different for my own family. I want always to be very close to my daughters. I don't know that I can do much--except to always keep the lines of communication open, no matter how tense things can get.
i can't think right now of the source of my fears .The fears tend to be vague and diffused , mostly rooted in past failures and bad experiences .Often fears creep into dreams . Wasn't it Teddy Roosevelt who said ,"We have nothing to fear but fear itself ."? Fear is counterproductive except when it serves to teach us to avoid obvious dangers .i try to be not afraid . It is written in the Bible,"Perfect love casteth out fear ."I try to be loving instead of afraid .
Good question. Fear of not being good enough - can only be overcome by doing the work and seeing if I am good enough.
A fear that limits me is the fear of not making money. This has limited me because it has me be attached to certain results. I think another fear is not measuring up or not proving myself satisfactorily. Another fear is being disliked by a group of people. I will let go of the first by focusing on the measurements or actions I could do everyday. I think the more options I have and the more activity I take, the more likely I am to not be attached to certain outcomes. To not be disliked by other people, I will work my world audience. I will keep practicing expressing myself to see that it is all not bad and I will not get in trouble. There are some things that yes are being an asshole but there are other things that are great about my self expression.
I am scared of failure. But at this job I am going to have to quit and essentially fail. I suppose it is being true to myself, but it feels like failure.
I am so afraid of Bob's dying, and so afraid of his living years and years and years. Which is worse -- hard to know! I don't know that I can overcome it, but I hope to get better at living with it. I feel as if I have to draw strength from all the good parts of life, and use that to help me get through. And try to keep having FUN if possible. Spend more time with my friends -- that's my biggest hope.
Thinking I will die. Thinking that nobody will love me if I'm sick
I have the fear that I am letting my ex hold me back. I dont believe it will work in the long run and am keeping him on a leash for convenience and the comfort of the known. Not having somebody at the moment is fine, but I feel like I am supposed to care about being single. I think people like me, but not like-like me, or I don't like-like them back. I don't easily fall in love and am afraid to some length that I will 'end up alone'. Not too much yet and not right now - but I could see time passing and nothing happening.
I have a pretty big fear of rejection. It has limited me from asking out people on dates, going out to clubs with my friends and just going and doing things with people in general. It keeps me reserved and only real active with a core group of friends. I honestly have no idea how i plan on overcoming it. After going to the gym for the past 8 months, I've started to see people 'miring, but I have no idea how to respond or approach. I don't know what to do, so I'll probably stay secluded in my cave and hope for a miracle eventually.
My fear is mynubsnd's Parkinsons getting wee snd devolving into forms of,dementia, we try to travel as much as possible and I see that this will not last too much longer, his locomotion is slowing down and his short term memory is almost gone. There is not much I can do,to overcome this, but I hope to join a support group,
I'm afraid of flying. It severely limited me by not letting me travel to Israel when I was living in the U.S. But I'm living here now, and I have no reason to travel anywhere, so I am not going to deal with it.
Cancer. Death. Losing my child. The list goes on. I try to live as healthily as I am able and to make safe decisions, too. It's inevitable that the reality will be faced one day. Life is finite and short. I love living and don't want to leave anytime soon. Thinking about it give me such anxiety that I can become paralyzed by it. I think therapy would be helpful, but I'm not quite ready for that either. I need a plan.
I am afraid of any changes in the status quo of my relationship -- i.e., moving in together or talking about "the future." I don't trust men to not let me down. I fundamentally don't believe that investing (emotionally, temporally, financially) in men will result in a better result (long-term) than if I'd remained more independent. I realize that this attitude is alienating to my otherwise-wonderful, supportive, feminist relationship with my boyfriend. I should probably get counseling... when I can afford it.
I don't think I have any large and uncovered fear that holds me back. I don't think I have to come to terms with any fears. When something causes me to feel uncomfortable, I sit with it. Look at it. I try to figure out why it makes me feel like I do. It is one of the perks of being 44.
I feared for decades that men wouldn't like me because of how I'm built. I know now there are some who do. Very, very much. So I just have to find one who likes me (mentally) and me (physically) with the same amount of passion and who isn't mentally handicapped or an unhygienic deadbeat. I also need to continue to develop the confidence to believe I'm worthy of being loved. It's difficult to reprogram with society, my mom, and my sister screaming I'm worthless because I'm not a standard shape. But fuck 'em. I'm tired of denying myself because someone else doesn't approve. Just fuck them. It's my life. And I do deserve love and happiness. My weight is not a moral failing.
My fear is of sleepwalking into work that is limiting or mediocre, and hiding my gifts from the world. I intend to pursue my true goals and interests regardless - as or alongside the work I do.
I fear being not-good-enough -- at everything I do! I am so motivated by the idea of being "the good one" in fact "the best one" that when I am confronted by the thought -- not from me, but from something exterior -- that I am not simply THE BEST it threatens to crumble me. I came up against this just last week when I was unexpectedly subbed out of a class. Not ostensibly due to anything I had done, but just because that's what worked. I suddenly wondered if I was being checked-up-on, if my boss would teach the class and "discover" that I wasn't as good at this particular type of class as she thought, if she'd start thinking I should be replaced. It wasn't that I feared losing my job -- I know I'm excellent at most of it. But it was this idea that I might be discovered to be not-excellent at this part of it. That destroyed me for a bit. But then I read a quote by Pema Chodron (there's something to investigate more this year!) about letting the darkness in, knowing it, because it's there, it's part of this life. And I heard myself think, "If I'm not-excellent at this, I should know. It won't kill me to know it. It will just be a real thing in the world, but no more or less real than it already is." Those thoughts changed everything. I have to let things be what they are, in order to change them, in order to work with them, in order to leave them, in order to honor them for whatever is excellent about them. So this is my plan, to keep going back to that advice from Pema, to pursue more of her words and thoughts and more words and thoughts of similar disposition, and stop letting fear dictate my relationship with darkness, light, or any other parts of reality.
I guess my fear of failure is right there, out in front. But if I put forth some effort I can see me reaching goals that I never thought possible, if I would only try and make that first step. I have to keep pushing myself to move forward with the ideas I have in my head, to get them down on paper and then build them into fruition. What am I afraid of? Can't I see how I might inspire others?
I've always had the fear of messing up. My perfectionism is such a hindrance and it keeps me from jumping into a project until the deadline is looming large. Then I don't do as good a job as I think I should have, which causes me to beat myself up. Letting it go has been a dream, but so far it has eluded me. I really need to adopt the "What's the worst that could happen?" mentality and learn to just get started on whatever the project is.
I am afraid of failure. Sometimes it makes me feel afraid to do something for fear of failing. I am going to be more aggressive in overcoming fear.
My last answer for this question was about my fear of being like my parents. Enrolling in a program I am excited about and committing to completing is a giant step towards preventing that. My parents are highly prone to inaction. My lack of a Bachelors degree has been a big setback for my earning potential. Apparently being out of the workforce for a year with two kids was hard enough to prompt me to do something about that. My new fears for the year ahead are mostly about preserving relationships. My marriage. Important friendships. I know I will take care of my kids, and school is my second priority. I hope I have enough of myself, energy, and time after those two to not lose people I care about.
I have a huge fear of being broke, which is actually kind of amusing right now, because I AM broke. The world hasn't come crashing down, and while I'm expecting money to come in (for freelance work I've done these past couple of months), I am stressed all the time about money. So far I'm hanging in there okay, and I'm seeing that it will all work out...that there's always a way, and I can make things work. I'm going to have to just breathe and let it go. I plan on overcoming it by leaning in to it and understanding that it'll all be okay.
I have a fear of failure, of not living up to my perceived expectations of myself. I plan to learn to swallow my pride and learn to ask for help.
Nothing I personally fear more than what might happen in this election. Hopefully, my vote counts.
Diving!!! It combies: tight spaces, water, and fear of drowing. Not sure yet!!!
I fear ending up in the streets. In spanish we say thins like "I am in the street" "He is going to end up in the street" to represent failure. And I am terrified of that. So much that I am having doubts about my own company and what I need to do because I am afraid of ending "in the streets"
I am beginning to think that the biggest motivating fear I have is not being liked -- and it is a fear I want to let go of because it drives me to say yes to things I don't really want to do and often to work harder toward perfection than I wish to . I think this coming year I will keep a diary of the "No"s I say -- like putting gold stars next to my name in a ledger book,
One of the glories of getting older -- almost 80 -- has been, for me, the letting go of daily fears. Not the simple ones, like fear of falling (and then I took balance classes) but of all those social fears: the right clothes, the right impression. A fine time of life.
I fear failure. I want my baby to be ok - I think I just need to calm down and remember that I am totally healthy and capable and can't control everything.
I am scared of being overpowered. It limits some of my relationships, and can be a cause for concern whilst dating. I plan on overcoming by going back to therapy and being active in PTSD recovery
Fear of failure. Of having to admit I've failed. I think I'm going to get out there--maybe fail--but keep on going. And learn from my failures. But KEEP ON GOING.
I am always afraid, on some level, of failing at work and screwing things up for my family. We have a good life, but I need to work so we can live the way we do. I also worry that I work too much and that means I am not as focused on my wife and kids as I should be. So I make some bad choices, I try to do it all and say yes sometimes when I shouldn't. Up and down and up and down more than it should be.
Right now, my concern is about family gatherings. Because my husband and I are divorced and holiday gatherings are coming up, I’d like to avoid having my son and other family members have to decide who to be with. Last year, I invited him to a Thanksgiving dinner that included people who love and care about him, but he declined. Now, a niece who just moved to the area is inviting him and another niece and nephew to Thanksgiving where she lives, and she will surely invite Daniel. So, this will be the first holiday that splits Dan’s family in half. My ex-husband’s view is that that is just how it’s going to be and he’ll just have to make a choice. I don’t know how I will adjust to this. Right now, it’s just painful.
I've started to become afraid of everything this year. It started with flying (though I fly a lot--it limits me in that I'll have panic attacks for days, but I do fly). Now it's everything--driving fast, being home alone....it verges on paranoia. I'm blaming the political climate and the terror tacks. I don't know that it truly limits me--I don't stay home or avoid certain activities--but the feeling is terrible, and it certainly wastes my time. I'm trying meditation, and trying to talk myself down. We'll see.
I still suffer from the fear that my career is over, that I will never reach the goals that I had and that I will never have a full time permanent position again. I am 60 years old. I am very good at what I do. I never thought of myself as old or out of touch, but after losing my husband I feel like I am. And I am in a profession which takes years to gain competence. It has kept me from trying to reach out. I plan on reintroducing myself to my professional contacts this year by doing a presentation at a national conference next month. Its my "coming out" I'm hoping that I can muster the energy to make it all work for me.
Fear of failure, for sure. I'm letting it go by being willing to fail. To allow myself to feel rejection in service of growing and doing more and better.
Not sure the fear word for procrastinating too much. Maybe a fear of making a decision. Once I can start I am pretty much going thru with it, but overcoming that first step. I dont have a wife to nag me which is good, but I need a motivating force to take her place which gets things done without all the emotional drama. Not sure of a sure way to correct this but maybe focus on a few things instead of having all kinds of things in wanting to do. I go to the library and bring home six seven books. I should bring only one or the most two.
I fear people disliking me. I go out of my way to please people in order to be liked. This is sometimes at the cost of my time, energy, comfort, my family time etc. I plan to think of my own needs and my family's need first. I plan to practice the art of saying NO more often. I also plan to be more aware that if this causes people's rejection of me, then it is a relationship that I don't need.
I am afraid of other people. Now that I'm nearing 60 it is finally easing a bit, but I still feel anxious every time I approach a social event. I feel differently about talking to people one to one, or even a couple at a time. In that context I feel sure that I can focus on the conversation, read the other person and come away happy. In larger groups I always feel like the odd ball, a person on the outside. I get nervous, defensive and shut down. I think that perhaps if I try to think of groups as just an assembly of individuals that I perhaps can talk with one on one that would help.
I've always had a fear of success and the attendant responsibilities that come along with it. What if I am successful at music? Do I want to keep producing, creating, performing? What if I make something that isn't successful then, after being successful? How do I deal with failure after that? I'm not sure if that is something that I can overcome.
Never been "good enough', at whatever... always felt everyone else was much better at it than I was... I'm going to make the year ahead count... I"m going to be "good enough"....
I fear uncertainty, the gathering declines of old age and death, and not living up to people's expectations of me as a good, generous, caring person. This year's accounting of the soul has only clarified for me how much I over-schedule my life and end up doing too many "good" things with a closed, rushed heart too much of the time. I deeply pray that I can begin to face my short-comings and learn to care for myself more faithfully--as well as beloved friends/relatives/brothers to whom I offer a lot of my time.
Social anxiety. It has limited me in work and in relationships. Relaxation and positive thinking are my strategies for overcoming this issue but also anything that can build a little confidence, such as sports and a creative outlet. I am thinking about several of these and I will do at least two. I'm talking about doing and not just taking a course!
I fear that my daughter will fall back into serious mental health issues, self-harming and attempting suicide again. I need to keep remembering that I need to look after myself and get my own life in order if I am to be in a position to help her. I also need to remind myself that I am powerless over another person and cannot make them want to help and be there for themselves .
I am afraid of losing independence - both financial and physical - as I grow older. So far, saving more money and exercising more are not working. Telling myself not to worry doesn't work. I don't know the answer.
Fear of my Cancer growing... As I did in previous years -roll with punches.
So I have a fear of flying. It limits me only to the extent of experiencing anxiety leading up to a flight but does not prevent me from flying. I plan to continue flying during the next year and continue focusing on my ability to get through the anxiety when present.
I have a fear of not making enough money or experiencing enough success in my life. I think it's limited me from enjoying the moment and enjoying the journey. It's also kept me from pursuing whole heartedly my art such as the music project I'm working on. It's caused me to accept work that I'm not 100% ok with. I would like to overcome this with Discipline, Collecting data, and putting more work into both my online business and my play. I think it's a good process and I'm experiencing what it takes to be and make things successful
I have a fear of being rejected, which has limited me in relationships and in my career. I tend to hold back my feelings and desires for fear that they will be shot down and not accepted by the other party. I tend to only talk about them if I already know I won't be rejected, so it is more calculated than an actual real risk. I plan on doing more reading on the subject of vulnerability and practicing what I learn. I would like to be able to say what I'm feeling and thinking in real time, instead of hours/days later.
I fear losing my job. I have to let it go and remind myself that I supported myself for 15 years as an independent, I am good at what I do. No matter what I will be fine.
I have a fear of not being able to lose the weight I want to rid myself of. I have really never dealt with this and am going to overcome my fear of failing. I was able to quit smoking with no problems so I have every confidence I can do this as I want to add some years to my life and feel good about myself again.
I have a terrible fear of the future. that everything will turn to disaster (stock market crashing, global warming, big earthquake). it immobilizes me. Hopefully being in therapy or reading Love is letting go of Fear or meditating will help. maybe adding that one daily habit of writing what went well will do the trick. or maybe a combination of all three. let's hope for the best
In the last year, I have been reflecting how growing up in family that systematically created and allowed violent words and traumatic events to occur and perpetrate them. My fear is that being around parts of my family brings out grief and anxiety. My faith commands me to forgive, however I do not know how. On this day, the day before Yom Kippur, how can ask for forgiveness from G-d, if I can't forgive my family?
I am afraid to fly in my dreams, although I am trying to overcome it and need to keep asking for guidance and someone to fly with me for a while. I know that I am generally afraid but I don't know exactly of what. I need to let fear go. I want to be fearless. I am going to start meditating more.
I'm not sure that there's anything I think of consciously as a fear, per se. I worry about aging, just because I see and feel how my body is changing, and I know my own resistance to healthy behaviors, like exercise or limiting what I eat or drink. Of course, that's exacerbated by watching my parents decline, and I fear inheriting their disease -- the physical and cognitive decline, the loss of control over self and body, the struggles that would ensue not only for me but for my family. These are not fears to be overcome so much as to be lived with and through. I think I am resilient enough to deal with whatever comes, which is not to say that disease or disability wouldn't be hard -- but all I can do now is take care of myself and learn to be more accepting of the way things are, however they are.
I'm afraid my career will suffer because I'm a single mom mom. I'm taking tentative steps. I don't want to let down my kid or my coworkers.
For someone who is relatively successful, I'm terrified of failure. I'm afraid to try new things out of fear something will not go to plan. Failure is something that people are ashamed of, and I'm learning to embrace being vulnerable about my shortcomings. It's okay to be flawed, and it's okay for others to know that you are flawed.
I fear rejection, specifically the rejection I feel when a job doesn't work out for whatever reason. I fear it because it results in my husband's fear and his disappointment in me. Not sure how to deal with this. No position or situation is certain.
Evey time I think about posting something negative about Donald Trump on my blog, I wonder whether it will result in the same onslaught of antisemitic harassment that other people have gotten. I don't believe it has gone so far that I have stopped from posting something I would have otherwise, but I see it as a bad sign that it's a real possibility that it could happen.
My health is challenging and while I know there is no cure, neither is there imminent demise. However, there are times when my deterioration frightens me that it might interfere with the way I want to live my life -- energetically. I will continue to try to minimize these feelings and press on.
Right now, from a desk in Lodz, Poland, I'm thinking about my fear of public speaking. ;) But that's certainly not my biggest fear. There's a lot of stuff I'm afraid of, actually. I wish it was a shorter list. I'm definitely afraid of getting older. Not the kind of getting older where you slow down and get gray, but the kind of getting older where you can't do things for yourself any more. And I'm afraid of spending my final years alone. I suppose the best things I can do to combat those fears is to design better solutions for aging. And to nurture relationships that nourish me, as well as seeking relationships with younger people.
I have a fear that if I get a full time job I will be bored and hate it, no matter what the job is. It has limited me because I've avoided any jobs that require any type of long time commitment for fear that I wouldn't like it after a while. In the next year, I'm going to get over this fear by finding jobs that I like so much I won't be bored by them. I'm going to really research and find something I am passionate and excited about. That way, the time commitment won't be a bad thing.
Having left an abusive marriage in the past year, I fear dating again and putting myself out there, because I don't want to end up with a wolf in sheep's clothing again. My ex, by all appearances, was a "good guy", but behind closed doors, he was a classic manipulator and abuser, a really nasty piece of work. I am leery of men who remind me of him, men who are charming and witty and well-spoken. They might be perfectly normal, but I am immediately put off by anyone who in any way resembles his ex. I have created and deleted online dating profiles multiple times and tend to fixate on unattainable men. I think I need to give people a chance, but I also don't want to waste my time. I think I am far wiser than I was when I was with my ex, which I think will help me be a lot more choosy, and I just need to remind myself not to settle for something or someone.
I have a fear of letting people down, of not succeeding because the stakes are so high. I want to let go more.
It's still the fear of failure. I will practice it by failing in small steps.
Fear of taking chances. I want to look for a new job. However, I cannot right now due to other obligations. I am afraid of taking a new job also because I know the problems with this job. I cannot know the problems at another job.
A fear that I had was packing up my life and moving to a place unknown. At the time of writing this, it has been six months and I have learned a lot about myself and about starting a new part of my life here.
I have feared men most of my life. For good reason. It limited me because I only knew how to armor myself to defend. I didn't know how to source strength and power from within to speak out about what happened. I became mute and left my body. I don't know if I will let it go. I feel my experience is a cultural colonial pattern. It's likely no man shall ever colonize me again. I feel men will need to be the ones to speak up and rid themselves of such patterns. I shall, however, never allow fear to keep me quiet ever again. I will speak for an end to colonialism, violence, "othering," objectification, blame, shame, criticism, & scapegoating. I rise.
I am afraid of letting anyone get too close. They have all come up so short and in such a dramatic betrayal. They have pretty much wrecked me and though I dont think of it everyday anymore,I still find myself pulling away.Farther and farther away. I want someone to talk to/share stuff with but I am getting used to my life as it is. I suppose that I will keep going out /listening to great music/seeing more art- but cautiously adding people to my life.
My fear is the accident scene I see in my head when I text-and-drive and then see the truck/car coming at me head-on. In that instant, I see the ultimate letting-my-family-down moment for which I'll never be able to atone in person. I must overcome the urge to be productive in the car in that way. Incrementally (though probably not completely), I must lower the risk by not doing it as often.
The fear is that I won't be able to achieve what I want to achieve or that I'll be too busy trying to achieve it that I won't have time for anything else. I think I'll just stop being fearful and get on with it.
I'm afraid that my new residence won't be to my liking. I end up spending way too much time trying to make sure everything is exactly the way I want it and it makes me anxious. I need to learn to make decisions and then let go and hope for the best and not be so fussy. I don't know if I can do that, but at some point the process will be over and I'll have to live with the outcome.
I'm afraid that my husband may not recover fully from his accident and need to return home without the resources to care for him properly which I am unable to do in my physical condition. I am trying to research resources and hoping that I am wrong about how his recovery is going but I don't know that there's a current solution I can find to this terrible problem.
I fear that at this later time in my life, I will slide into a smaller and smaller life and have less and less involvement in the greater world around me. with less and less to contribute to the conversation of the world. I need to seek out ways of opening life to new possibilities and challenges.
I definitely have some fear of missing out, or of not being liked. I think I've gotten better about how that can influence interpersonal behavior (i.e. I don't think I come across as desperate for friendship so much), but I definitely let it stress me out and depress me more than I should.
Different manifestations of something akin to impostor syndrome, including a fear that once I start forming relationships in a new place some people will actively dislike me and avoid me. I will continue trying to put my best foot forward and give people the benefit of the doubt.
I'm afraid that the eating disorder I have battled with for the last 18 years will rear it's ugly head again. I will keep exercising and looking after myself, and keep my stress under control
I know this isn't what the question is asking but, I am terrified at the thought of a Trump presidency. So I am absolutely voting in the upcoming election. I don't think any other election is as important as this one. He can not be voted in, he will ruin this country.
The fear that every parent with a severely disabled child living st home has. Outliving your child with no one to adequately care for him the way we do. Also, as we age being unable to care for him. Every day is a blessing but every day, without exception, is the shadow of time marching on. We know his intricacies, such as what it takes for him to move his bowels (what we're dealing with today) or getting him to calm down or getting and staying asleep. Doctors, programs, therapy, outings, cleanliness etc. never ending. And his brothers and care givers are pretty good, but not like us. We've saved $$$ to ensure he stays in the house with proper care, but the fear is always there.
Fear of finding myself alone. Fear of treating myself poorly, of taking actions that are harmful to my psyche. Fear of failure. Fear of inadequacy. Fear of aging. Fear of never becoming the person I wish I were.
Fear of not having balance in life to spend time with family. As a result, I limit myself from taking on certain opportunities (out of area, entrepreneurial in nature). I will overcome by taking baby steps to experiment with this. Being self employed is a step in that direction which I am pursuing ...
social anxiety, fear of success. i often self-sabotage. i plan to be more confident. it was really good to hear that the first time my now-fiance met me, he (incredibly confident) thought I was more confident than he was. So I know I can do it! See things as games, fun challenges, occasions I can rise to! Departmental honors, getting a job, getting a GWSS internship, AND THEN MOVING TO CALIFORNIA AND GETTING OFFICIALLY ENGAGED :)
I have a chronic fear of attachment - engulfment vs abandonment. It has limited me significantly in my life - less so in recent years, but it still causes me anxiety and stress. I am i a new relationship where I feel safe to observe and accept these feelings in myself, as well as explore them openly when appropriate so that I can create new experiences and beliefs about intimacy.
I have a fear of not having "enough" friends. I have been working on this in therapy forever, although I feel like maybe I'm just now getting to the heart of it. I'm going to keep working, though, because it actually keeps me socially isolated in a roundabout way.
I am a perfectionist, even though I have never done anything perfectly. My fear of making a mistake often paralyzes me. I often don't speak my opinion for fear of being inarticulate and then being ridiculed. I want to take more chances in this area, and let go of caring what other people think - both negative and positive.
I have two fears: one, I forget to live in the present and wonder of the future; am I in the right place? Should I be somewhere else? Is there a better option out there for me? Should I pursue it? That leaves me feeling unsure with where I am, less confident in the decisions I've made, and it also puts a damper on my current situation. I don't give my all to work because what if I'm not here next year? What if I move locations and the next person isn't as good or dedicated? And yet I am not giving my all to my work now and letting an idea of chance impact what I put forth. I follow my heart. Therefore I am in the right place, I am doing the right thing...I just need to let go of the what ifs this year and give it my all. The next fear is in dating. I question everything & I doubt myself, I doubt him, I doubt us. I like a man, I nit-pick over everything so I have a reason to escape to hold onto myself. I need to go forth with my courage and bravery and take it one step at a time.
I'm afraid of making mistakes and being humiliated or, at the least, embarrassed. I'd like to get past this, as much as possible. It will take baby steps but I need to cultivate the attitude of fearlessness. I need to remember that life is short and chances don't always come twice.
I want to overcome the fear of change. I want to stop fearing my financial situation will turn for the worse and learn to trust.
I fear dying all the time. I worry about my daughter being on her own and not growing up with her mom. I know its because i lost my parents when I was relatively young but it haunts me. I've set up life insurance which helps ease my logical mind and when the thought comes up I try to shoo it away. It also allows me to try not to focus on the minutia and to spend time connecting with her and it also drives me to share with her the wisdom of life, growing up a woman, etc.
I have a fear of not getting all of my consulting work done. I'm going to look into subcontracting some of my work to trusted colleagues to see if that helps easy my stress and workload. Stay tuned!
I have many fears. Right now, I fear that Trump could be President and it will teach the younger generations that it is ok to lie, not pay taxes, sexually assault women, be a racist prick and overall douchebag. I'm scared that the progressive world that I thought we lived does not exist and my children will experience harsh anti-Semitism. I want to create a safe world from my family but not sure where to start.
I don't have any particular fears that I'm working through right now. I imagine when the time arises, such as when I launch my online business in the next few months, I'll come to terms with those, and work on whatever mindset shifts I need to.
I fear that I am not interesting enough to other people, even though I have tons of interests and hobbies. This stops me from having friends and letting people in - I don't even try to talk to new people. This year I want to try to talk to people more when I am at club meetings and in class, maybe even go out to a few events if I'm feeling really adventurous...
I fear humanity is going to go extinct because of global warming. I don't think it would be reasonable or rational to let go or overcome this fear. It needs to spread. Too many people are still having babies, giving no forethought to the lives their children will face in the coming decades. We have to recognize that conditions have changed and we have to limit the population as much and as quickly as we can.
I have social anxiety. This can mean that I stumble over my words at work (a lot) or that I have trouble holding down a conversation with a stranger. This is something that will inhibit my career if I do not work on it. I had signed up for public speaking classes but wound up with a conflict. This is something I need to find a way to work on.
I have many irrational fears. Mostly, I worry about doing things wrong or disappointing someone or making a mistake. I am working on empowering myself to have better self esteem and what I really need to do is work on my confidence. Hypnosis is helping me a little bit, affirmations too, but the real work is just getting out there and doing things that I fear I will somehow mess up.
I've done better on my fear of looking like I don't know what I am doing, but my fear of change still holds me back. I did my first speech to my team and that went well, but I still feel as if I am squandering my gifts and taking the easy way out. I don't like taking risks, but to move into a new direction requires risk. I guess, it is continuing on the baby steps and continuing to do things outside of my comfort zone.
My fear has always been ... failing. Failing in completing or doing something well and with excellence. Actually, it is fear of not being able to do the job perfectly, and this hinders me from attempting new things. I am trying to overcome this with just, doing. Even if it is not perfect, at least in my eyes. Attempting new challenges, and working on improving what i think needs improving, but, still doing it.
Taking a prominent leadership role. Public speaking. I'm always happy to be the #2 or lead from behind the scenes. This limits my personal and professional growth. I often feel like an impostor. I am trying to say yes or put myself in more situations where I am uncomfortable, e.g. public speaking, but where I know it's important for me to be.
Fear of being abandoned and rejected. It has limited me to reach out to people. I plan on throwing myself to people so they won't abandon me.
I have great fear that my body is deteriorating faster than it should that my mind is losing it's sharpness. I need to pay attention to this body and mind and work to keep it going well eat better exercise go to dr when I need to go to yoga but mostly listen to the temple that keeps me going so that I can keep going
I'm afraid of putting myself first, and expressing myself when I'm unhappy. It just perpetuates me feeling frustrated or resentful. Baby steps, but I've already started by consciously trying to voice my thoughts and feelings and needs. And also planning activities and time for me to do what I want to do! Oh new-mommyhood. It's a challenge!
Concentrating on general "fears" aka loss of control are a constant battle. I will continue to "push" myself to not being so controlling, being more present and accepting in future events. My son and his fiance will get married and have children and those children will probably be raised in a way that is not my way. I will have to find the way to be okay with that. My disapproval will have to be overcome by the fact that I love my son and want him to be happy. In all this loss of control of how your adult children make choices in their lives of how to live THEIR lives is and has been the hardest thing of all. The future is not what I expected it to be, however it is what it is and that must become enough. "and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."
I have a fear of disappointing other people-especially people who I love and care about deeply. This fear has often limited my growth and willingness to take risks, but it has also limited my ability to communicate openly and truthfully, sometimes with significant consequences. In the coming year, I want to gain confidence in my ability to speak clearly and directly, with passion, and to be bold. I have the unique ability to create and manage complex projects, but in order to grow and share my gifts with the world, I need to overcome this fear. One of the ways I plan to let go of this is by looking back and writing about my previous accomplishments, and realizing that I have the support of family and friends no matter what. I also plan to give myself permission to take big risks in sending out work, even less than finished work, and to fail occasionally, because each failure holds lessons for the future. I also seek to find more inspiration from other creative writers and thinkers, who can teach me about pushing past perceived limits, living a more fully integrated life, and answering tough questions.
I have feared that I would be laughed at. That I will die without anything making sense. That I will not live up to my "potential." You know what? All this is true. I will die without living up to my potential. I will get laughed at and dismissed. I will lose. I may end up not having a comfortable retirement, even!! But fuck it,Dana. all this is true no matter your fears. Time to wisely go for it. Continue the spotty meditation work. Dance. Speak stories. Write stories. You've already lost and won. Now enjoy this life.
I have a fear of expressing myself publicly. Maybe because I was hit or threatened to be hit when I spoke up among adults as a kid. One step, I am taking to overcome this fear is to simply speak up anyway, despite the fear. On Saturday, October 29th I will speak for 7 minutes as part of a Witness Ceremony at the Museum of Anthropology in Vancouver.
I fear making a misstep, and I fear that my fear of making a misstep will cause me not to act when I should have acted. When I was in my 20s, I went to law school because I had no clear goal or passion or plan. It was the 90s, and the bubble had not burst. I was 22, and I saw people making lots of money in corporate law, and I thought, "Hey, this work is sometimes fun, and money is good." My mother told me I should be a lawyer because I argued a lot. I had no very good answer when my college boyfriend's mother asked me what my plans were, so on the spot, I made up a plan to go to the City, find a job as a paralegal, and think about law school. I executed that plan largely because no better plan presented itself. During law school, the dot com bubble burst, and suddenly, there was a vast oversupply of young lawyers. I couldn't get a job that would cover my student loans. Eventually, I ended up working as a contract attorney with a budget that allowed for about $150-200 a month for groceries after paying rent, student loans, medical insurance premium, and transportation. I always asked for clothing store gift cards for Christmas and birthdays, because there was no room in the budget for clothes. I couldn't afford to do anything for fun. Eventually, I got married and moved away. I can't make as much money, and what I do make goes to student loans. My husband supports our family. I feel that I made a gross misstep by going to law school. Now, I find myself called to a completely different path, one that will require giving up what legal career I have and going to school for several years. I will never make the big money that law school seemed to promise, and I'm okay with that. What I fear is that I will do everything to get the degree for the next career, and it will be the wrong one. At the same time, when I pray, I hear this call clearly, and it does not waver. So I fear that I will dither around unnecessarily because I'm afraid to move on.
I deeply fear mediocrity, but in equal parts I fear change and failure. It results in a really deep stasis - as though I can't bear to risk everything I've worked for, because doing so might be admitting that the things I've worked for, while they have made me successful, have not made me particularly happy. I know it's true because sometimes I am caught off-guard by the things I've left behind in the most visceral ways. I can remember a taste in the back of my throat or a feeling in my stomach and I find myself standing in the middle of my grief over having abandoned that dream. This year I'm trying to center around the lyric, "Growing up means admitting the things you want the most. Can't pursue every possible line..." and balancing it with the knowledge that things keep growing and changing, even dreams and goals, and that an end goal is never really that so much as a benchmark on your way to the next thing.
Phew! This question scares me. I have so many fears - of my (what-feels-constant) failure or (to be more exact) lack of success. I fear losing my girlfriend, I fear losing myself to my relationship, I fear that I'll never pursue and focus on my most ambitious goals. This year, I aim to focus. Start every day anew, like we pray together for G!d to grant us each day fresh. I'm working on starting each day fresh, ready to take on what's on my plate so I can move forward.
I can't say that I have any major fears. There aren't any common fears that I identify with. I've led a rather tough life, and there is little I find daunting in any way. However, I do have serious concerns for the direction society is heading. I do not want to give those concerns any attention and put energy into fearing the worst, as I do not want those fears to materialize, but those thoughts exist. I have tried facing this fear by writing ideas to incite change in our society, but I have not done anything to actively fight these fears. Perhaps I should make a point to actually do something this year.
My fears are too numerous to count. I plan on working on them by working on my anxiety.
I fear that a crazy person will become President of the United States
For some reason, I am deathly afraid of failing on a massive scale. I feel like every single decision I make will either lead me to success (whatever that is) or to the gutter. That paralyzes me, to an extent, when it comes to making big decisions. While I know from experience that we can simply learn from our experiences and move on, I am continually scared to death by my less-than-amazing military career, my failed marriage, and my not-so-great decision to move back to southern California. I'm just making those decisions I've been putting off and going with them. No more being a "Walter Mitty".
I tend to not try things - meditation, business, weight loss because I'm afraid of failure. So afraid, that I don't even try. I want to start working on myself this year and things that I want for myself. I want to start working out more - whether it's in a gym or going lane swimming. I want to focus on getting my pet-sitting going. I want to spend time on myself - meditation, art, baking (which is an art in itself too!).
My central fear is always related to money - making enough to live comfortably, always having money in the bank, having a home, security etc.. This fear has limited me in the sense that it's made me risk averse and limited my decisions in life. Not sure how/if I'll ever fully overcome this fear as it's rooted in my childhood which was filled with financial insecurity. However, I believe that assuring myself that there will always be enough, that I've done a good job at preparing for our future and that there will always be work for me (which there has!) is a good way to mentally change the way I think about security.
Fear is a major factor in my life. Living with anxiety means that I have times where I'm afraid of everything: of leaving the house, driving, going out, doing things, living my life. I fear social interactions, and how I come across to people. What if I make a fool of myself? What if I do something wrong? I fear disaster, whether it's from natural phenomenon or a traffic accident. I fear I may die, that my family and friends might die. I know there are no guarantees in life--how do we know what's going to happen next? It's paralyzing, and stops me from living. But this is where faith comes in. I have faith that G-d will guide me in life, that things that happen are what are meant to happen, and that they are for the best, for me and for the world. I pray for guidance and goodness in my life, and the lives of every person on this planet. I pray that we all fulfill the purposes that we were put here for, that everything happens in the right time and place, and that suffering in this world is eliminated. Prayer and faith are what I want to use to guide my life so that I can overcome my anxiety, and thrive.
I fear that I will waste myself. That I'll give in to the self-loathing, and the impostor syndrome, and the doubt and despair... that the fear will hold me back from giving my all, and that in turn will prevent me from achieving the things I can achieve. It has limited me, in a lot of ways. I think because I've been burned before, and the conditioning is difficult to overcome. It's a constant battle to stay on top of it - it takes a lot of resources, energy and discipline. But I hope to have more good days than bad, and to spend more time focussing on the proof of what's good, and less time succumbing to the doubt.
Being stuck in Greensboro and not moving to California. Pay off my car and begin saving for condo in Palm Springs.
I have an anxiety disorder. It is better than it once was, but it still limits me in many, many ways. The biggest way that it limits me (I think) is the Social Anxiety Disorder. I feel like it was not always this bad. In college, I feel like I forced myself to be friendly and make friends...at least at the beginning. That said, I have a hard, hard time. I am slightly better on the phone than I once was after going to The Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety in Philly a few years ago. But I still can't make social phone calls. I am scared to call anyone my friend for fear that they really are not my friend, they will laugh at me for saying so or for acting like it is true, etc. I miss Michelle. Do I text or call her? My heart starts racing at the thought of calling her. I am a little less anxious, but still panicked at the thought of texting her. I mean, maybe she never considered me a friend in the first place. Even Carla who I said was my friend and she agreed...and I can't call her. We do text from time to time and I told her I want to see her after the holidays. But still... the fear is crippling. I even sort of made a friend at work sort of I don't know if it's real or if I imagined it. But I don't think I deserve a friend because I am so down on myself and I don't believe for a second that anyone would want to me friends with me. How do I plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year? I have no idea. If I knew, I would do it in a heartbeat. I'll say this, though. I am going to get a therapist as soon as my insurance situation is handled. That much I know for sure. A local one who I can see in person on a regular basis.
I'm afraid to get a divorce. I'm afraid to admit that I love my husband but I don't desire him. I am afraid to admit that I want someone else. We need to talk about things. We need to make a plan to let go of each other, because he already knows I love someone else. Unfortunately the man I love is married, and he doesn't want to try for a relationship with me. He is afraid, too. I have to move on. Somehow.
The nagging feeling of not feeling quite good enough, and the self-humiliation that comes as a result of that have been my downfall. I have a terrible fear of failing at things. I suppose that it comes as a result of my perfectionist style, but it is just painful for me to feel like I have disappointed other people. This fear has held me back in multiple ways, but there are two that are constant themes. First, I do not usually like to try new things. Inevitably, with any new thing that there is in the world, there comes a learning curve to it. I cannot stand having to deal with learning curve because that means for a certain amount of time, I will not be great at whatever activity it may be. Unfortunately, this results in me staying stagnant as a person because I balk when I try new opportunities. Second, I struggle looking for help when I have problems with things. For example, when I struggle in a class, I tend to try and fix things myself by studying for an extra hour, rather than just seeing the teacher for extra help. I suppose I fall into a mindset of, "I'm the one who fell behind, so I shouldn't pester others to help me with something I should have already understood". When I say it aloud, it just sounds very irrational. My plan to overcome this fear within the next year is to just drill into my head that at some point, I'm going to fail. And when I do, I need to approach others for help. Next year, I'll be in a whole new academic and social arena, so naturally, there will be something, a club or class, that I won't enjoy or excel in. I'll just have to let myself be okay with failure and grow from that.
I fear the judgement other people will pass on me for my stupidity. It doesn't necessarily limit my actions, but it limits how much of my mental energy I use on actually accomplishing tasks. When the fear takes over me, I obsess over what others are thinking of me and my work and I can't control how much time I spend thinking about it. This year, I need to be able to feel the sting of fear, recognize that I feel it because I care so much about the work I'm doing and that I DO care about what others think, and then limit the time I spend on wallowing in it.
This is actually a good time for me-a growing, realization, contemplative time for me. I keep thinking of how hard I have always worked, had to work, and what have been the major barriers and holdups. I am also considering what has worked and what feels "right". So my fear is the idea of not being able to buy my home. If I can't my life will change significantly. I really don't want to think about what would happen.
There is a lot that I fear about my husband. It would be amazing to figure out how to overcome the various fears and let them go...I also have fears about buying a new car and fears about household repairs. How have they all limited me? Gosh...the fears about my husband have put a true damper on my life in terms of happiness, brain-space, freedom of movement, companionship, and overall well-being. But what am I really afraid of? Great question.
my fear of heartbreak. it has limited me by preventing me from seeing and accepting sooner that i was in a destructive, undermining marriage. the sad truth is that i was living an ongoing heartbreak while i was still in it. this is probably one of my biggest challenges. i'm glad you asked how i would overcome this fear. well, i lived and am living through the heartbreak of my marriage. and my mother's death. and probably other things that have blended into The Heartbreak that is chasing me. the one you asked about. thinking of The Heartbreak as a thing that has limited me is already working with it. letting it go? i'd love to feel what that's like, sure. what would it be like to be me without the fear of heartbreak? wow.
I'm afraid that my mother won't have enough money to live on for the rest of her life.
I fear confrontation and arguments, so I often don't stand up for myself, or assert myself if I think others will disagree. There are things I'd like to do, but I'm afraid to ask for them. I have lots of fears, and they stop me from living a full life. I fear change, so I don't try new things. I am trying to be more honest, with myself and others. I think I sell myself and my friends/husband short by telling them what I think they want to hear, instead of the truth. And not only because I'm so often wrong in what I think they want to hear! I think I need to give others a chance and stop assuming negative things. If I suggest something and it gets shot down, what's the real harm in that? At least they would know what I'm really thinking.
I am fear based. I am afraid of being on a metro train. I fear not getting off at the stop with everyone else or getting off and the group doesn't get off and I'm all by myself. This is magnified in a foreign country. I fear being left alone. I guess go on a train?
I am afraid of being called a bitch for just being professional. It affects the way I interact with people, and it has let me to be afraid to stand up for myself. I have started to realize that this is because of negative experiences in the past. It's not an invalid fear, but as I get more power and respect, people are less likely to see me that way, and the ones who do, don't matter. I know that as a woman I don't have all of the liberties afforded to men in professional contexts, but I am working on letting it worry me less.
I have a fear of been mimed in anyway at all, especially something tha might hurt the eyes or warrant in lost of any of the limbs. These fear has developed into making me been allergic to sharp objects or getting close to any form of stunt. There are certain games or play I would have loved to engaged in but sometimes I withdraw due fear of sustaining any of such feared injuries. My plans of conquering this fear is simply to face it. Pretend it never exists and no such injury or mistakes would ever occur
A big fear for me is my health in general. During 2016, I had several major health issues pop up and I have become sometimes anxious and feel vulnerable. Afraid of what might happen next. I can't just let this go and accept the situation as-is. My plan to overcome is to start slowly but in a forward motion. I've committed to myself that I will walk 30 minutes a day for at least five days a week, regardless of the weather. I've also committed to stop smoking and never start again. As time goes on, I'd like to participate in a senior's exercise class of some type to build my whole body back to some better physical condition. I want to be as healthy as I can and enjoy my retirement. Big fear--big goals!
I'm afraid that I'm a fraud, an imposter, at work, and that I will be found out. It makes me apologetic, risk averse, and I feel tormented and want to quit my job. I don't know how I'll deal with it. I plan to keep pressing forward and try to center myself spiritually, every day, with renewed energy.
Donald Trump. I'm terrified that he might actually become president -- and even if he doesn't, that the vitriolic resentment that he's given license to -- in all its xenophobic, misogynistic, Islamophobic, antisemitic, and racist expressions -- will keep building into a vicious and forceful movement. I'm seized by this fear. I don't think one can simply let it go or overcome it. I do hope to participate in canvassing and or phone-banking for Clinton (despite my misgivings about her hawkishness, etc.) at least to feel like I'm doing something. I'll have to work on how to get out of the grip of the fear for my own emotional well-being. Not sure how to do that. But blithely going about my life doesn't seem right in the face of such a dire threat.
I don't fear many things-I've said that the only thing I worry about is that people would find me boring. It makes me go out of my way to be more comical, so I don't see that as a bad thing. I guess I'd like to interpret here that I'd like my goal to be putting less work into it--just let people like me (or not) with who I am instead of working as hard to have them laugh. I honestly care about people so hopefully that shines through :)
My greatest fear is that something bad will happen to my children for example one of them will have an accident or get sick. There is really nothing I can think about to do about this. I just trust. I just let them go. I don't instill fear into them or limit them or transmit this to them. I just let them know I love them. I try to help them learn to use good judgement. I hope and pray they will stay safe. The world is an unpredictable place and there are no guarantees.
I think my ongoing fear that I have worked to overcome is that fear of not being liked. The way it limits me is that I think I don't necessarily take the chances I should when it comes to friendship or social things. In this coming year, I will continue to work toward getting past that...maybe inviting others over or trying to do get out more as couples.
I am terrified of failure, humiliation, rejection and ridicule. I didn't use to be. then the human shit came along and things started going downhill. If I can manage to set up a patreon page, that will be a big step ahead.
My biggest fear has always been losing someone that I love. During the last year I had to face that fear head on when my grandmother passed away and now that my father has terminal cancer. The limitations brought on by this fear involve me spending far more time worrying bout the future and not enough time enjoying the present. The irony is that I lose out on precious moments with my loved ones today because I am spending all my energy worrying about losing them tomorrow. I need to come back to now, because now is all we have.
I fear failure. I hate doing things that I'm not good at. This will limit me as I start physical therapy because I will certainly be challenged to do things that my body will not cooperate to do. I will struggle and I will get very frustrated. But I will try to keep in mind that I may suffer long term if I do not suffer through it now. Any challenges I overcome now, in PT, and in practice on my own, can have long term benefits - improving my balance and my ability to use my left arm and hand.
I have a fear of being too successful. I have a fear of failing. I think both of those things are the same. Being successful means continuing to be successful. I want to be healthy and strong and if I become healthy and strong I will have to keep being healthy and strong. If I start making money with SendOutCards or with BeachBody, I will have to keep making money with those companies. Maybe I have a hard time with commitment. I know I have a hard time with consistency. How to overcome that? I guess take one day at a time. Write down clear, concise, achievable goals, get out of my comfort zone and go for it!
Have lots of fears. Fear of believing in myself, that I will be a success in what I worked hard to be good at. That I deserve to be happy, in my career and in love. That I deserve to be treated well by people and I that I really deep down believe in myself. I grew around people that didnt respect me and Im slowly letting go of that but its been difficult because a lifetime of that has taken its toll. The solution is to forgive those people and though its counter-intuitive its not easy. So to move past my fears I must first forgive those who have transgressed and take responsibility for having my fears. Hanging in there and moving forward.
My health is ok, but I have started smoking again after a year of abstinence. As for the smoking I have set a target of my birthday next month (Nov.) to quit. Also, I have found that working on the projects to stop stigma and writing my book is intense and cuts into my time with Annie and K. At my age, I find that I only have 1/2 to 2/3 of a day to work, and even at that, I have suffered stress and some continued sleep problems. Quit smoking by my birthday with encouragement from Annie and steeling myself for the task. For the over-working, I must listen to Annie about spending more time with our family, and it would be best to forsee those warnings and take appropriate action to slow down, quit working earlier, and getting back into the flow of our life.
As much as I want success I seem to be fearful of getting out there. My life is stagnant because I don't feel as if I am good enough.
I do not focus on my fears, I embrace them! If I feel a sense of fear, I ask myself "why are you afraid?" If I can rationalize my fear, then I can move past it. Sometimes my fear comes from leaving my family behind. The fear of death and what they will do when I am gone. It seems very common, but all it reminds me is...get the will done, get all the financial done, don't leave them with a mess.
I have a fear of being replaced. There are times when colleagues want to be included in the work I do (special projects) and I typically turn them down. I believe there is a way I could use their help without feeling threatened by their enthusiasm. I should probably see their desire to be involved as a compliment.
Fear of not being accepted. It makes me reluctant to try new things, or to be vulnerable in most ways, especially in public. I've already been doing some work on this over the last month or two, I think, and I hope I'll continue. Partly my approach has been sort of the fake-it-till-you-make-it idea. Act like acceptance isn't even an issue, and just do what feels like the right thing to do. And partly it's been realizing that the vulnerability is there, and taking it on anyway. To be honest, that second approach is vastly overrated. I know the Brene Browns of the world say that's where all the amazing things happen, but that hasn't typically been my experience. Still, I'm willing to keep trying. A third approach, I think, might be to recognize the support I do have in my life--Susan, the kids, close friends--and be ready to fall back on them if I take a risk that doesn't work out. That means expecting acceptance from those close to me, of course, but I think that might end up reinforcing those relationships overall, and that would be an even greater benefit.
I'm concerned that I haven't taken enough chances, that I've remained too solidly "inside the lines". I will encourage myself to grab for small pieces of adventure, and forgive myself for holding back at other times.
I don't like speaking of fear because it has not hold on me. I don't want anything to do with it. When the Lord is with me, of whom shall I be afraid? When the storms of life rage, He is my rock, my foundation, my salvation - I shall never be shaken. All the days ordained for me were written before one of them came to be. He is the Lord Who heals all my sicknesses, He has carried all my diseases. He knows the plans He has for me, plans to bless me and not to harm me. Plans to give me hope, and a future. He will be found by me when I seek Him with my whole heart. Perfect love casts out fear and so my prayer is Lord please grant me perfect love of You. You go before me, behind me, Your hand covers me and You hedge me in on all sides guiding me, safely, securely through this life. Thank You that none can snatch me from Your hand. Please protect me and deliver me from the traps the enemy has set for me. Help me to abide in You, as Your Word abides in me. Please help me to be a good example. As for me and my house, we will serve You Lord. Please help us all to do the right things in Your sight. All our ways are before You. May we be a fragrant aroma, ever in season and a joy to You. In Jesus Name. Amen.
I fear never feeling happy or normal again. There are flashes but generally my life is more struggle than not. I would like to (re)find joy, my joy. I'm working on it but quite frankly if I knew how to solve this problem, I would have already.
I am scared of the fact that the world is not a rational place and that people do not always follow basic principles of integrity and respect when interacting with others. This has limited me by making me angry, depressed, and negative. I need to accept that other people think differently than I do, and it's okay for others to operate based more on intuition than logic even if I disagree with it. If I just accept that sometimes other people's actions just won't make any sense regardless of how I try to explain it, I will feel happier because I won't feel like I'm to blame for everything negative that happens to me.
My biggest fear is that I'm failing my kids. That they are going to grow up insecure and unloved. Though on the plus side, I got a note from my 7-year-old that said, "I love you, Mom. And I know you love me, too." So, I got that going for me! :) My fear is that I am modelling the wrong behaviors: losing my temper, gossiping, self-doubt, impatience, lack of prayer life, "Too busy", and if I can better show those things to my kids, I'll feel a little better. So, work on me to work on them!
I have feared letting people down: my parents and my academic advisor from grad school. I plan to let go and overcome this by becoming devoted to something that is meaningful to me!
scaring my daughter away . . . again. She has a mental illness and it doesn't take much (a question) for me to ask her a question and she pushes me out of her life .. . . for months. Getting hard to keep reaching out when she won't seek proper treatment and isn't willing to talk about it (or anything else) and is just MEAN! Not sure how to handle it . . . will keep seeking answers through books, therapy and others who have experienced the same.
I hesitate to give in to it by stating it, but I'm afraid of growing old and dying. No, not afraid, just don't want to. Mostly I don't like having things imposed on me, I want to be in charge. So, the idea of events overtaking my life is anathema. Also, being forced to move right now all seems part of it. I always thought I'd be ready for this stage of life when it happened. But I'm not ready. It's all happening too soon.
I fear that I'm not good enough. It doesn't matter whether I'm reflecting on my capacity at work as a researcher. Whether I'm thinking about my general attractiveness. Or if I'm considering whether I am a good partner. I never think I'm good enough. This deficit thinking leads me to stagnation. At work, I see you're taking on creative ideas, and I feel deep shame when I don't get something right the first time. The research and science is more about the failing at that it is about the succeeding I am told that I will write a grant proposals up to 20 times over. The IRB takes at least three submissions to get your project approved. There are drafts of posters and conference proceedings. And that's not even about new research ideas creativity. Creativity is an iterative process. If I don't think I'm good enough, or if I second-guess myself, I will not succeed in this field. Or, I will likely get extremely depressed trying. I know they comparing myself to other people in my relationships don't work. My relationship with Cory is ending. It's not just because I feel unsure about myself; not at all. But, I know that the times I haven't felt like I was attractive enough, or funny enough, or sexy enough, lead to more stress between Corey and I that was helpful. Future dating is not anywhere on my horizon at all. It certainly won't have it in Knoxville. It may not happen when I am at my postdoc. During these years in between my job is going to be learning to appreciate my body and my attractiveness. My job will be learning to believe that I am sexy, funny, worthy. But I am a good partner. Then I bring amazing things to the world add to my relationships. I think then, I won't look for a fixer-upper; which in the long run will be better for me. So this year, my job is embracing that I am good enough. I am good enough. I am enough.
My fear is that I am not enough and that I am not taking necessary action to move my life forward. How I plan on letting it go is to go inward and pay attention to my behavioral patterns that are holding me back. By taking responsibility for my ways of thinking and acting that I know in my heart are only stopping me from realizing a better way to be and live.
I guess my most prevalent and current fear is financial and whether , especially now that I'm semi-retired, I will have enough money to enjoy the things I want to do and whether my money will last longer than I will. I hope to not worry about it or allow it to paralyze me and ofrce me to curtail my lifestyle. I especially do not want to harp on Ann and cause discord there about finances.
My fear of talking to people. I know that when I let it go and do talk to people, they usually respond very well. People need to connect. ESPECIALLY with this election and things going on in the world, people NEED to connect, to build, to be uplifted. Fear of opening our home. To do this we need to finish arranging it, hang pictures (which takes effort because our landlord wants it done some stupid way by hanging them from the ceiling ledges), pray and be open to visitors. I want to mention the people of Syria this year. Aleppo. The world has not responded. Our leaders have failed to respond. There is no excuse! We are one humanity! This is an atrocity unimaginable and we have not even responded?? We let the holocaust happen all over again. Babies bombed over and over and over again. It breaks my heart we are in 2016 and still this barbaric. All fears realized.
I've been working hard to keep the job I have now. The teacher observations suck and I need to be not so nervous when a principal comes in. I'm going to practice my teaching methods during regular school days to prepare myself when I get observed.
This one is easy. My family of origin taught me that I had no value, that I was dumb and unworthy of love. My father's death has liberated me. I finally cut off from my mother and sisters. I gave up hope, which allowed me to stop wishing for something I have never had, and made me begin to see and recognize what I really have -- the love of family and friends, a community that values me. I feel more and more blessed, and less and less sad. And quite aware that I don't want anyone to ever feel that way about me.
**I am leaving this year to remind myself what the first month of my marriage looked like. I received the call on Friday that I have no aneurysm. No need for further scans. It's over. It's over!** I'm afraid of having an aneurysm (and subsequent stroke, surgery, recovery time, loss of mobility/function). Today I am waiting for the results of the scan they took on Friday. My second round scans to confirm whether or not I actually have an aneurysm at all. The MRI/MRA wasn't conclusive and apparently there is a chance there is nothing there at all. Even if I do have one, it is likely very small at this point and we'd observe it over time. So, no surgery, which is great. But before I let myself get excited or relieved at the possibility that there is nothing there at all... I need to know. I am a planner. Planning is my coping mechanism. I can't plan until I know. They call today or tomorrow.
Not being worthy of love. In the coming year, i have no idea, been working on this for the last 10 years!
My answer last year just makes me laugh. I still fear failure, but I have a great support system, so even if I fail everything will be okay. I will continue to work on my righteousness. And I just copied my answer from last year!
A fear that I have is that I am a less than stellar mother. In the coming year I will try to be more patient with my boys and not bring work related things home with me.
Fear of moving on. It's kept me in my job. I don't plan on trying to work through it this year.
The fear of showing people how I really feel. Many people truly have great meaning to me, it letting them know without "freaking them out" is hard. Knowing that you have meaning in someone else's life should be a good thing.
I am increasingly afraid of people and gatherings with people I don't know. I am afraid of the possibility of interacting with Trump supporters. I am frightened by the pro gun mentality..the concept that it's ok to be anti everything that isn't white cis gendered male. I don't want to become walled in from the world by my fears, like my mom ...but people are scaring me more and more....
My answer from last year still holds true. I don't do small talk with strangers well, and I would like to improve my ability to chit chat with people who I don't know well.
My fear is that I am not able to deliver at the level I expect. I am told that I am better than I allow myself be believe so I just need to get started and get feedback to evaluate that.
My fear of working hard and not succeeding.i plan on scheduling a solid day and give myself the best chance of success. Realize it's a process If I work a solid day day after day I will be successful
When I separated from John five years ago, I thought a certain kind of life was waiting for me......paintings pouring out of me, lots of new, wonderful, authentic friends, good times, a true love I had been waiting my whole life for, all my expectations unfolding effortlessly. Instead, I lost the only person I had loved in years, the only one who had SEEN me, seen ME, since before I married. I also lost my trust in people, my faith in myself, and I lost my art...,my connection to the divine. The fear I have been carrying around since then is that none of this will change. I've felt myself closing in on myself, shrinking my dreams, my hopes, my faith in myself. But, just this year, I have felt HAPPY ALL BY MYSELF. For the first time, I vacationed alone- and I didn't feel alone. I felt ENOUGH..,,,just by myself. I want to build on this new sense of happy self reliance, and to try to be open to whatever may come...,to infinite possibility.
fears. I am afraid of driving over the bay bridge, but I do it, and am getting better at it. I am afraid of high winds. nothing i can do about that but breathe. I am afraid of not being good enough at my job, I work at getting more business even though I am not fond of that part of it. otherwise, no fears that get in my way of anything. Probably should have more.
Fear is of aging and the future. A lot of my time is spent preparing for it. A lot of my time is wondering if I will achieve all that I need to. I have to let go of "need". My life is good. I have done enough. I have planned. Come to terms with that. Age is just a number. Enjoy life. Do what's worth it, don't waste on mediocre.
I have a fear of people ignoring me, or not taking me seriously. A cousin of this is that people will see ill intent on my part. This holds me back in many ways. I think it may lead to some of my sensitivity with my wife. It also holds me back when I reach out to others about my book. To overcome it, I am going to relentlessly bear witness, to look for it actively, and allow it to bask in the glow of my divine spark. Fear cannot abide Trust in the Divine.
I am afraid of losing my marriage. Because then I will be alone. Because then I will have to admit I was wrong. Because then I will have to face my family and friends and they will know I have failed. I am not sure on how I am going to let go of this. I keep waiting for things to get better....they aren't.
I have fear of running out of money and not being able to help take care of my mom. He financial situation is dire and my sister and I want to help but I'm not sure if we will be able to support her when she really needs it. Somehow she is staying afloat but I don't really know how because it seems like she is operating st a huge deficit. We try to help and she is still working but for how long?
The fear of not getting anywhere in my life has (ironically?) stopped me from trying. Making daily lists of my priorities has been helping me just do the work without agonizing so much about it
I am afraid that I will get people to follow me and that I will let them down. I need to be courageous. I need to be confident in what I am leading and I need to be committed to not letting them down. How? Courage comes from within. Knowing I am doing something good. Drawing on faith in God's purpose. Confidence comes from being prepared; doing my homework. Prayer and expectation. Committed is a decision. I wont have a problem with that. I feel a strong responsibility to do what I say I will do.
I really fear that I need to move far away to afford a house. I guess that's not such a bad thing. But if I do move far away what kind of job will I need to get? I don't know the answers to these things but this "where will I live and what kind of job will I need" does bother me a lot. The more I think about this, the more I feel that maybe moving away and changing careers isn't necessarily a bad thing. Fortune favors the bold.
Fear of not doing what I want when I want to do it with the money I have available. I have been taught DO NOT USE your money in your trust account. I know there is a way to use the money and not get taxed TO DEATH. I will get this accomplished in 2017.
The fear of failure and letting people down. I constantly am worried that I am not enough for others. Whether it is not completing a task in time or not being around to support them emotionally. I need to be less concerned about others and take time for myself. I am bad at saying no because I feel like a failure for not being able to complete what was asked of me. I strive to only bite off as much as I can chew this coming year.
I have a fear of getting older too quickly and never figuring out what I want to do in this life. You only get one and I am constantly doubting my decisions. I also am worried about being a new father although every one tells me you figure it out pretty quickly and that it comes naturally. I think these fears take away from my confidence and prevent me from being bolder and pursuing different paths. I don't know that I can overcome it but I think I can work on letting it go. Things will work out. They have thus far and if I continue trusting that I am a capable person who can accomplish great things and having patience I will be a happier person. I don't need to add more things to my life resume, I just need to be happy with what I have and live a meaningful day-to-day life.
Fear of not finding a soul; mate. I will join groups and get my self out in the community.
Fear of how others perceive me. I hope to build my confidence in who I am and not worry about how others will feel if I am myself. I usually try to make the other person feel comfortable, which is okay, but I can go too far in that direction and forget about being authentic.
I am afraid of confrontation; I am afraid of speaking up and standing up for myself in a big way. I'm okay with the small acts, but the big ones are hard for me. I will keep working on it. Not sure how that will pan out.
That i have no purpose for my life; that i was here for no reason, or that i will not be able to figure out the reason. I plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year by setting goals and trying to achieve them one by one.
I have a fear that I'm not good enough. This fear-- and the low self-esteem that drives it-- prevents me from accepting change and letting things go, particularly in relationships. It also keeps me from focusing my attention on things/ people/ activities that are worth my time.
I have a fear of being alone in sickness and death. It does not limit me. I will do what I always do with it, let it go, refuse to feed it energy, and recall the saying: most of the things I worried about never happened."
I don't believe that I'm carrying much in the way of what I'll call 'personal fears.' By that I mean things like fears of tangible things (lions and tiger and bears, oh my!) or intangible but under my own influence, such as financial solvency. On reflection, I'd say that as long as I believe that I have some influence on the outcome of events, I don't experience 'fear.' I worry, I make a plan, and move forward. Even if I know I have only partial control of a situation, I seem to not wrap my concerns for the future in fear. Fear, for me, seems to be reserved for those events beyond my control and influence. the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. This year, it's the upcoming election and its aftermath. Oh, I'll vote, count on that, but my influence will be so insignificant that psychologically the fear remains with me. Then what? The outcome of the race isn't going to settle and heal this divided nation. Maybe that's my move - I won't specifically work to empower my preferred political party, but rather do what I can to foster and supports efforts at healing. What might that look like? I could support the repeal of HB-2, but be willing to praise Governor McCrory where credit is due, such as the his timely, and somewhat preemptive response to Hurricane Matthew. Along the same lines, I should make an effort to really know and understand someone from the 'other side.' While I might totally disagree with their support of Trump as the solution, I should try to understand their definition of the problem, or their view of reality. What are their fears? Why does Trump look like a good choice for president? So let's pack all that: In the next year I will try to mitigate my fears with open mindedness, compassion and above all, learning. Wow. I didn't see that coming. Thanks, 10Q!
I've been afraid of everything, it seems, this year. I fear failing. I fear screwing up. I fear homelessness, financial destitution, illness, loneliness. With all my anxiety, I've been afraid to make a decision, for fear of making the wrong one. Therapy helps. Therapy and opening up to friends.
I am scared of trump.
I'd like to continue to let go of the fear that my husband will go into the hospital for weeks at a time. He's been doing better, and I have been doing better at not limiting myself because he might not be here.
oh boy, this one....up until very recently, I would have said that I am fearless. That I am free! and easy.. but sadly, I am not. I have picked up many fears over the years and the main one is the fear of others' opinion. oh yeah, I am not proud of this at all. I have formed my whole life around this one, the fear that I will be judged or criticized. I think if I could let go of this one, it would vastly improve my life.
I'm terrified of confrontations - being confronted and confronting people. I have not been able to conquer this fear in 37 years but would love to find a way to temper it.
I have so many fears that they are part of my fabric and I can't imagine letting go of them any time soon. One major fear is the fear of dieing without any or much notice thus not havring the time to get my stuff in order.
Well i am fearless. But i Also very cautious of what I do. I want to learn everything and as many techniques as I can in my self defense class. Now I can because of the medication I am on. No limits now.
fear of not making other people happy - working on it - they can only make themselves happy - had some hypnotherapy and doing meditation on it.