Think about a major milestone that happened with your family this past year. How has this affected you?
OUr daughters engagement and the wedding planning. Such joy that she has found her life partner and he's a great guy. Some stress over the wedding and it's expense, but happy that major details are already in place
My cat died. She was with my family for 10 years, moved across the country with me 4 times, and saw me through high school and college. She was my best friend and my baby, and everyone who met her really loved her. I'm still so broken from losing her suddenly, but I feel so much pride and joy and love when I remember our relationship together, and how inspiring it was to other people.
The birth of Everly. I have experienced being a grandma to a newborn while physically and emotionally healthy for the first time. I thought that window was closed. I am beyond grateful and amazed at how I feel compared to the infancies of the previous births due to the destructive marriage and divorce I was living.
Four years married! I think we've grown as communicators this year. I love the fun we have, but even when communicating is less fun, it's been so rewarding to reach the other side -- together.
I guess I’ve told my family I’m non-binary. This was a major event for me but it didn’t feel that way to be honest. I’m not sure how to proceed on this. Luckily my cousin Eva is very supportive, I’m lucky to have her.
Lots on the health front for my son. With blessings, he is doing much better now. Still ways to go and I am deeply grateful for the progress he has made. Do worry about the futre though.
In October of last year we had a death in the family. My cousin/best friend's husband killed himself with a gun shot to the head. He was the Chief of Police for a nearby town. He had a huge funeral with police and first responders coming from all over. He had a huge motorcade. I had never been involved in anything so public. He was glorified and remembered for his service and commitment to his community. But he killed himself. And no one knows why. He left a note but it didn't answer why he took his own life. I was angry with him for causing such grief and misery to his family. I had a cane due to my broken ankle and I wanted to hit his body with it while he had lain in his casket in the funeral home. How could he do this to the people I care about!?! They will never be the same! I'm still mad at him because his family is still hurting. I need to forgive him and not be angry but every time his kids are struggling or my cousin is crying at night, I just want to hit him again. I see how this is such a selfish act of betrayal. When I think of all the folks who have lost their lives early, that someone would intentionally cause that kind of pain, makes me upset. I find that I do not have as much compassion as I thought I did. I do not feel sorry for his angst or turmoil that would cause him to throw his life away like that when there is no need. Maybe he had a terminal illness. Maybe he was suffering. Maybe he was hopeless. Maybe. Whatever. He was in his head and it was all about him. He didn't even prepare beforehand or get his stuff in order, to be less of a burden on his kids. I don't know. I just hate to see them all in pain. He has crippled his family.
I came out to a lot of our family as trans. It's made me motivated to be a lot more open and honest with them. It's kind of made me more cognizant of how many gaps there are between us, like how many details of my life I restrict from them. I want to be able to be my whole self with my family.
I'm not sure this is a milestone in the classic sense of the word, but after a series of health issues, my mom finally moved into a senior living apartment. It was a journey to get her mentally and emotionally ready for it. It's the right thing for her. It also required my sister and me to work closely together in ways we haven't before. This would have been really difficult a year or so ago, but with the work I've done in accepting who people are and not expecting them to act differently, I've been able to navigate this transition for my mom with more grace and equanimity than I had expected I would.
I'm significantly better at setting healthy boundaries with my husband, parents & siblings--so much more happy & living a life filled with joy.
I can’t think of a major milestone that has affected our family this past year. I look forward to reflecting on what his has been like having a teenager and a toddler in the house next year…good luck future self…go hide a bottle of wine…you’ll need it LOL!
My uncle no longer recognizes anybody. As Spock once said, it's better to have a clean departure rather than live on as a vegetable. I joined EXIT, the Swiss association helping terminal patients with their end.
the passing of our mother. She was the last matriarch and I don't know how to fill this void
A trip to London to meet my brother affected me greatly. He had medical issues I wasn't aware of that made it very difficult. It caused me to reflect on the fragility of health, well-being and on mortality.
Both of my college students really had to grow even more than they were expecting this past year. They had to face lots of antisemitism, either online or among their friends/acquaintances, and they each had to navigate their own path through it. I'm so very proud of them both
The major family milestone this year was the joining of the Seidmons and Berlanga/Shevchuks at our wedding. It was amazing to have our immediate and extended family (and friends of all ages that have become family) together in the same place, schmoozing and getting to know each other, hitting it off and making lasting memories. It was so beautiful to watch my nieces and nephew and our siblings, parents, godparents, cousins, aunties and uncles all building relationships and friendships throughout the week/weekend. The joining of our families was one of my absolute favorite aspects to our wedding and will forever be one of my all-time favorite family moments!
Well, October 7th certainly impacted Alexa and Ethan. He went to miluim that day and stayed through the end of February. Three weeks ago, he went back to Gaza. He was supposed to get out in November, but the troops that were supposed to replace his troops were called to the north, so now his stay in Gaza is indefinite. While home, he is not enjoying his work at Shevet, and his education has had to go on the back burner for now. Alexa had planned to find a job after the chaggim. She still hasn't found one, at least in part due to the economic impacts of the war. Although I did get her Hadassah College credits transferred to SNHU, she still hasn't gone back to school. I remain worried about her and her lack of direction. However, she is going to therapy and Aaron and I both can see that it's helping her. We had wonderful news this year when Elana made the Eagles' cheerleading squad!!! It impacted our planned trip to Norway since she had to be in Philadelphia every Tuesday and Wednesday for rehearsals, and wouldn't be able to join us. We went to Newfoundland instead, where Elana and Dan were able to join after the 1st three days of the trip. She is now mostly moved into an apartment that she is sharing with a roommate. They are getting along well. Elana is teaching in Delaware and loves the administration and her colleagues. So, every part of her life is going well, but she finds the sum total overwhelming. In the meantime, Dan is still in DC at his new PT job. He was happy at first, until his boss started making some bad business decisions. Most recently, she hired a 3rd PT into the practice which cuts into Dan's compensation. He is looking to leave, but isn't sure whether to look in DC or Philly. Jonathan remains happy at his new school. In fact, there were several openings for IB Curriculum Coordinators at CPS high schools this year, and he chose not to apply because he is happy where he is. He got a $10k raise that he didn't expect as well! He continues to be very busy socially, although I don't know specifics of his dating life. He also decided to take the year off from debate coaching since he found last year to be more aggravating than satisfying. Aaron continues to work 10 hours a week at RDC (or whatever it's called). He does not enjoy it. His salary doesn't cover much more than health insurance. I showed him that he could retire this coming year on his birthday and start getting social security. We could use that money to pay for insurance and he could fully retire. I think he's considering it. He is still enjoying being President of the Curling Club. Alissa is pregnant.
I can't really think of any family milestones that happened in the past year....... My husband turned 60? I suppose that is a milestone. I have started to feel like he sometimes acts older than he is and is starting to be more of a curmudgeon at times.
My sister and my brother both speak to me, after decades or maybe a lifetime of not talking to me. But they don't speak to each other.
I had to live at mum and dad's for a bit. It showed me I absolutely couldn't do it for any longer, and re-established how much I need to get my finances sorted to have a safety net. They also continue to age, and it continues to terrify me.
Hmmm... luckily I would say that we haven't have any MAJOR milestones... Maybe Rishi starting daycare? That was kind of a rough start because he was seemingly sick for infinity (really 3 weeks, but that is a LONG ASS TIME!).
My daughters and I got do much closer and I absolutely love my time with them now!
Losing Grandpa made me feel like my support system was gone. My cheerleader It’s been hard to be my own Cheerleader
My oldest moving to NYC. It’s hard to describe the sense of loss - feeling that suffering after the nest - being so full - becomes empty once again. It’s not like we did things together all that often but just having her around - working on her incarcerated press newsletter from her laptop in the dining room, making her tiny pastries or by the book recipes in the kitchen, folding all her laundry - and not minding it, watching her learn to crochet, hearing her practice piano, being able to do the parents blessing holding my hand above her head at Shabbat - all those inconsequential moments that add up to memories that hurt my heart and make me long for that time again. I know it’s past and will be replaced by something new - pride over her accomplishments I’m sure or joy over her relationships deepening. Though it won’t be like it was - when the thread between us was only a few yards, not 3,000 miles.
Oh Sarel. We miss you. We love you. I think of you all the time. I miss your friends and your updates. I'm going to do my best to be as honest and energetic as you and grandma Louise. And reach out to some of your near and dear ones.
This is the first year after my father, who had lived with me for seven years, passed away. I gave myself permission to slowly move back into the single bachelor life I had known before. I've only just begun the transition back and need to do much more work around the house to return it to a home built around my needs and wants. I've felt a lot of energy building up in me later in the year here to make more ground on this transition - it's time.
Hm. I already discussed the surrogate baby. Hubby got to have me for 9 months of no niddah which was nice, except of course towards the end of the pregnancy there is no sexual interest. Daughter became a real teenager which is THE WORST. I have to learn to accept that she is superfical and probably not going to be intellectual or that spiritual even once she gets past this teenage stage. It makes me very sad and angry to think of her being a shallow person. It really does. I find it unacceptable and I know the reason I find it especially traumatic is because then she will be like all the people I grew up with who didn't understand me. Also, I dislike shallow people in general and it horrifies me to think that my daughter would be one of them.
Last spring, I graduated middle school. I was in a really complicated friend situation and since graduating and just not seeing these people all that much, I have grown up more and I'm more confident in myself. I am glad I broke the friendship off and I am better for it. While I wish it had taken me less time to break that off, graduating was a natural separation point that helped me avoid lots of questioning or confrontation that I wouldn't have been ready for right after I had done something, especially if it was still the middle of the school year.
Last year, my mother told me she is dying. Three months ago, she died. Even 3 months after her death, there is not much difference in my emotional state, nor my day-to-day life. We loved each other, but necessarily from a distance. If we spent any amount of time together, she would pick a nasty fight with me and blame me for it. With distance, we could appreciate each other more. She was difficult but loving but selfish but wise. Yesterday, Minna and I had a little memorial for her together. We had a few shots of vodka and caviar with smetana, which was a favorite of my mother's. She discovered it one day at a Russian restaurant when we visited Estonia as a family. If we had spent every day or every week together, or even called each other regularly, it would probably be more devastating. After another year, as the weeks and months pass with silence from her, perhaps it will hit me harder. Or perhaps not. I was as prepared for her death as one can possibly be for such a thing. On the other hand, I am surprisingly sad as I write this.
I spent significant time in New York City with Jeremy, Lila, and the family this year. It was really special to spend meaningful time with them and get closer to both of my nieces as well as Jeremy and Lila. Also helped me feel more bicoastal and that I could easily fly to New York and spend time with my family whenever I needed to.
A major milestone that happened with my family was realizing that everyone has busy schedules and in order to see each other we need to make sure to set aside quality time together, not expect that how it was when we were younger is the same now that we are adults. I think now with my siblings realizing this we are more mindful to set dates in the calendar to come together
I turned 70 and many of my family joined me in celebrating. It reminded me that despite our disagreements there is love and connection.
Laura's pregnancy. I feel very sad that Ian won't follow Jewish practices and have son circumcised. I am upset by Marv's rejection of his grandchildren. I feel that they did not keep promise to raise children Jewish-ly.
Besides the October 7 terrorist attack on Israel - which affected my mentally and emotionally. My daughter's bat mitzvah!! It was amazing!! She was awesome. I looked gorgeous if I do say so myself! I'm disappointed and annoyed with myself that I hid in the back, because I was so overwhelmed and freaked out by my ex and her whole side. I didn't have my nieces over for Thanksgiving in 2023, but I hope to in 2024!
I have no family. My parents' estate goes on and on interminably, but that is a multi-year process I cannot affect rather than a milestone. It has been stressful and makes me tired even though I can do nothing.
My youngest nephew started college and his brother got his Associates degree. I am proud and happy for them both.
Moving was a big milestone. It is always interesting to go through old belongings and wonder what to do. Do I bring it, gift it or trash it. Some of the items brought back sweet memories. I found old, old photos hidden behind other photos in the frame. Bringing ancestors back to life - if only for a moment. It does make me think about downsizing. Who wants my old family photos - my 94 year old mom tells me to throw them away - but I just can't...not yet.
Nico got his groove back and started doing more production work again. And he has been doing graphic design. Its nice to see him happier. We saw Mikey and Tin get married.
Being gone for four months was important for us as a couple. We traveled together to places we had not been to and experienced all the new sights, sounds, and people. Our boys and their families got a taste of what it will be like when we are gone. We were not completely incommunicado since we video chatted with the families regularly and keep up with their activities. However, we did leave our obligations behind, and I felt for the first time that I was 'retired' with no obligations, other than to do what I wanted and share experiences with Joan. We have been back in Omaha for five months, and I have returned to some of my former activities. I am trying not to be responsible for planning or organizing events but to just 'show up' when needed. The one exception is the prairie restoration project, which I would like to hand off to someone else. My problem is finding the right person. So far, there is no interest.
I think Maria dying has been a big moment for us as a family. Her death has brought me closer to my cousins in seeing their humanity - it has also brought me forward as a quiet leader in my family. Suze seeking my counsel about her brother Jay’s difficult behavior, Nicolas taking refuge in my neutral presence, Josh coming out to escape his home a bit and expand his horizons with me. Me becoming a leader in my nuclear family is a theme as well. I conceived and planned and carried out the first Katie Weekend, which gave me agency over my family visit with my parents, and I got a rental car. It felt like I finally popped out of the rigid mold of family patterns and experienced the east for myself, even if it was really quick and over fast. Noticing how everyone is struggling and doing what they can to emotionally survive. I feel like my anchor hangs deep in comparison and I can see and handle others with grace these days. Coming into my own.
I can't think of anything. My nephew wants kids, but I'm just not into the idea of making more people and wish that people would stop having kids for a while so we can get our populations back down and stop wreaking harm and havoc on living places and animals and other people
My second absolutely amazing daughter graduated from college with honors and now if grad school on her way to a phenomenal career!!! Beyond proud mom. My older daughter started NP school. She works at Cleveland Clinic on the BMT floor. My mom is doing terrible with dementia and I’m so sad.
My dad bought his first company just over 4 years ago and bought his second the sometime within the past year. His two companies that combined into 1 have grown so much over the past year. My parents bought a new house this past Summer with somewhat of a new lively hood as I go into high school and my brother goes into his last year middle school. It has affected my family and I with extra happiness, gratefulness, joy, and thankfulness as my brother and I enjoy the last 4-5 years with my parents before college.
This year really hasn’t had a major milestone for my family. My wife and I are retired so personally we haven’t had any big events. We don’t have children so there’s nothing on that front. I’ll be content to see life chug along just as it has because that means we’re both okay. Many of our friends have had life altering milestones. I’ll just savor this uneventful moment and be grateful.
My nephew moved to Lisbon. My sister is trying to get used to living in a nursing home. And my older sister had back surgery and is now well. A lot of changes for everyone. That's exciting.
The school crisis has had an enormous impact on my state of mind as a whole and affected my family in unimaginable ways. I haven’t slept properly for months. I can’t stop thinking about it because I can see it affecting my daughter’s welfare and I’m powerless to stop it happening right now. I don’t feel able to protect her. It bothers me big time and yet I’m not able to go very far with most of the external agencies I’ve reported the school to. It feels right now that few people care because they don’t have the required specialist expertise to truly challenge them. It’s incredibly stressful.
No big milestones this year Mostly just amazes me to watch my children continue to become these amazing people
All of my nephews are in college right now - so it's fun to see them grow up and grow. My oldest niece turned 16 and is going to get her drivers license. My dad - who is now 84 - continues to inspire all of us with his dedication of physical and intellectual health. He works out daily - sometimes multiple times - and manages his stock account with attention to detail. He sold the property in Puerto Rico - which I think is a huge relief not only financially, but it was a reminder of a large part of the life he was planning in retirement with my mom before she passed away. We all still grieve her quite a bit - I think my dad and I especially do.
My mom turned 80 and it forced me to really think about both of their mortalities and how I want to honor them while they are living
We survived a challenging year of war. While we were lucky to have our own shelter and not having to be evacuated like others, it was still mentally and emotionally scarring.
I’m reluctant to call it a milestone, but the biggest thing that comes to mind is my brother‘s release from prison. The impact on our family continues to be devastating. He has shown no remorse or recognized the damage to his victims or to his family. Mom‘s mental state has complicated this. Understandably, she wants so desperately to believe that he is doing well and has changed his life. Her comments to his children are especially challenging, suggesting they should return to a relationship with him. I’ve spent his significant amount of time trying to understand why I feel this sense of familial obligation to him when I’m not receiving any kindness or concern in return. I hope I can resolve this issue next year. I’m going to count Emily‘s return to our lives as a milestone as well. After a dozen years lost to addiction, she’s recognized that we love her and believe in her. I know my sister has a lot of anxiety around how well she’ll be able to function at work and school. I am happy just to support her and be her cheerleader, but see lots of drama and her trying to manipulate us. It’s all so hard.
Framily not family, but a dear friend got married this past year. AND the sibling of a different dear friend also got married this year. Both were wonderful, joyous celebrations.
Eden got married and I wasn’t invited. I reached out to her a while back and she also didn’t respond. I’m upset that this is what has become of my family but I’m proud of myself for reaching out and trying
Our in-the-home family is William, 13, Lola, 12, Jack, 3, and Olivia, 2. They're all doing well. Renee and I are also healthy and grateful, living well on Renee's one salary, with my few thousand a year to let me buy some extras. Cousin Jenn came to visit me last fall; this fall she has tongue cancer. :( Larry has prostate cancer. His cancer isn't directly affecting me, but I am concerned and troubled and feel a desire to help care for him more than I can from here. I've been learning to play the baritone ukelele (after an editing client made it for me --gorgeous instrument). My mother's pulse-ox fell to about 92 after her last hospitalizations. My ability to be accepting of her limitations is growing as she worsens.
Big Donnie died in his sleep this morning, Nan got a call at 7am. Jack turned 1 this year. I visited my Dad and Sara a few times in Pittsburgh and Benjamin and Jakob and Genna and Corey. I got my shitty mom to agree to go to therapy with me someday in the next year. Things Keep happening and I am tired.
Cancer. This year has all been cancer. It has consumed me. Life has stood still.
A milestone was my brother getting kicked out of boarding school. It stressed us out as a family because we didnt want him to come home.
I realized, and Greg has, too, that our children are grown up. Gannett is pregnant and planning for her first child. Stephen has a job that he really likes, he's very good at, and it has the potential for a real career. Who'd a thought?! And he is a budtender. That's a new word for Webster! The effects of these developments? Relief. Gratitude. The realization that we did our job fairly well. Relief and some real pride.
We had a baby! We started a band! I am writing a memoir! Feeling mostly happy that Im not teaching anymore, even though I really miss the community at SCH. It feels really good ot think of myself as a writer. For a while, until the baby came, I was writing every single day. I looked forward to waking up and writing!
Realising how f*cked up my family is. They are a combined of unsupportive, untrustworthy, mean, lazy, messy, dirty bullies. It has affected me in ways I can't explain, but it's devastating (and that is putting it lightly)
My Dad's heart attack. There was a time that we had a thought that the remainder of the year he would not be here. It made me put my ducks in order to get my life together in terms of planning for my estate after death.
I guess the health issues which cause despair but also I am grateful that we are all functioning well for our age.
No question: Getting my husband to deep remission with his multiple myeloma. I’m almost afraid to think about how it's affected me; it’s too fresh for reflection. I’m too exhausted and disoriented to put anything into perspective. I do recognize the stages of grief that seem to tamp down any relief just now. Not only did I need to take care of him, I also had to shore up my disabled daughter upon whom I had to depend too much during our extended time away from home. I don’t know if I can recover from all this. So much of it takes me back to the 14 years I took care of my dad as Parkinson’s ravaged his mind and body. My own health became a problem, too. I don’t think I ever fully recovered from that caregiving experience.
My little brother who had been struggling and battling so many serious issues for years got baptized together with our young nieces and his fiancée, married, and became a father, all in the last year. He was also blessed with a new job that relocated them into their very first house together, which they did not imagine being able to afford. His new wife was just saying how much she wanted a house. I thought they were getting ahead of themselves with so much change and already blessed with so much - in the past year they’d moved from a studio to 1BR, to 2BR - and now have the house with a backyard that they’d always wanted. They just turned 25. God is so good. I am incredibly grateful to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. (Psalm 27:13)
Nothing major has happened in terms of family this year. But little by little, I see my dad aging, and it is devastating to absorb.
Recently there was a major milestone in your family. You met with your dad's side of the family in Fenton NY and met 2nd cousins and people and places you would want to live. It has affected me by showing my growth.
James became our concierge. We feel more able to age in place now.
My family was able to grow our respective self-employment businesses by an additional client. Although the additional income isn't huge, it is a start, and it helps me feel a bit more financially secure.
My cousin died, which has brought end of life concerns and desires to the forefront. I completed an Alzheimer’s medication study, which makes me proud to be part of helping generations.
Sharing fun time with my grandkids. We see each other as loves, not as someone to fear.
My sister-in-law got a new job that she loves and that's giving her an opportunity to grow in all areas. I'm really proud of her!
I have a very small family. I have to think about this. My atomic family is just myself and my cat. My parents are still living. My father is in his late seventies and my mother in her very early eighties. My mother has had dementia earlier than this year, but it's progressing. She no longer goes up the stairs to sleep at night in her bedroom. She sleeps on the couch. During the day, she sits on the couch and observes or is visited by the cats, there are three of them. My father completely takes care of the cats now. She is afraid of "upstairs" or maybe it's just the stairs. She has had a fall on the stairs. Just the first step, she tripped on a cat. She was not so badly injured, but she did require physical therapy. The therapist came to the house. My father was there for the sessions. She also only exits the house through the front door. She will not leave the house through the garage. There is a small step down and she says she broke her arm in the garage when she was a kid. My dad calls them phobias. I don't know if that's an accurate term. He used to say she had delusions. He has told me she gets up to use the downstairs powder room in the middle of the night, but she can't always find it. She starts crying and screaming. He has to go downstairs and help her find it, OR he has told me he cleans up after her. Even in the bathroom--he helps her use the toilet like she is a small child. I still speak to her on the phone when my dad is not working and he can help her use the phone. I am relating this in great detail and it is too avoid examining how I feel about it, I am having trouble feeling. I feel sad. It's overwhelming. I cannot help both because I live in another state and I myself am disabled. I would only be a burden. I miss her. I talk to her and I can find her in there but she is not the same. I feel like a bad daughter because I can not take care of her. I am grateful that the last time I spoke to her, she knew who I was. She says she still loves me.
I’m doing this on a bit of a delay, and I was struggling to think of what to write here as on the whole it’s been quite a nice, quiet time on the family front. No one got ill, no one died. No one got engaged or pregnant. Just everyone ticking along nicely. But because I’m doing this so late, I’m able to include my dad’s 80th birthday, which was yesterday. This weekend is his celebration - today, a family lunch and some people sticking around in the evening; tomorrow, a choral evensong. I wouldn’t say this has affected me particularly, apart from the inescapable knowledge of his advancing age. But I found myself dreading this weekend a bit. I knew my mother would do way too much and get stressed and tired - check. I knew she would resist any help - check. I knew she would tell me how to behave with my niece and nephew - check (with a bonus of telling me how to behave with my sister’s new dog). I knew that she would make a big thing about how little she eats - check. I knew that I would feel a bit inferior sister in comparison to my sister - check. It’s nice now: my sister and family have gone and my aunts and I are sitting quietly together reading (/writing this in my case). I wish I could find a way to exist in family gatherings that doesn’t stress me out, and just find the peace to let everything just wash over me. I wish I could not regress into being the younger sister and end up feeling eager to please, then failing to please, then feeling sad about my failure to please. Maybe next year. Anyway: it’s nice to be here, particularly now it’s so much quieter and I don’t feel like I have to behave in a particular way or entertain anyone. And when I think that two years ago I thought dad wouldn’t even be here for this - how lucky we are.
The matriarch passed away. It has left me with a sad, feeling of the 'glue' being gone. No familia peacemakers left.
Sue attended 50th reunion at Bucknell.
The major milestone is that my mother's health stabilized at age 93. The way it affected me was to allow me to become less on edge and anxious and to resume focusing on work.
My sister began the process of getting a divorce from a bad dude, and at the same time got a really good job that gives her a lot of security and fulfillment at the same time. Both these things have been a tremendous relief for me.
The baby started walking. The baby started talking. World changed.
We sold our home to downsize. It was very, very hard…I’m feeling a bit unmoored since we’re in a temporary rental until we find the home we want to buy and have to remind myself that I’m safe, I’m loved, my home is Peter and he’s with me, I’m in a great apartment in the meanwhile, and all is well.
There are so many milestones achieved. One sad step is that another sibling has passed away. With the loss of Diane, it only leaves me and Dave. It's hard to keep traditions and visitations going when you don't feel that connection as strongly.
My family is scattered around the world and we try to communicate via technology. Not being able to see them face to face, give them a hug and a kiss has been painful and depressing.
haha, we became a family! Being a father is mind blowing. This little tubby wonder ball is the brightest light in my life. It's teaching me a new way to love. This deep care without expecting to get an inheritance out of it, no sex, no perks, just giving love for the sake of it and hoping to getting a little back in return. It makes the pains of the world feels more horrible, because I can comprehend peoples love for each other more than I could before, but it also makes the solutions feel more rooted in humaning together, not intellectual solutions. I'm more easily satisfied, more frequently reminded of life's simple pleasures, and more proud of who I am.
Me getting engaged. I now have a new family!
The past year included sh'loshim for my father at its beginning, and unveiling and first yahrtzeit as the year marched toward its end. Loss and grief have characterized this past year more than any other I've known. How all of it has been contained in the past year would be a mystery, except the truth is, it isn't contained. It spills over. There is no clean ending to the mourning process.
My mom moved into her own apartment and retired. When my dad retired, I didn't see the impact, but I am watching my mom have to stretch herself not to become a stay in - because we are all so worn down. But being a recluse at her age - and at my age doesn't serve us as humans. I need to get out more and do more social things
The milestone that is resting on my heart today is that Fil is finally dying. After spending so many years fighting off a cancer - a decade, that he somehow wrestled back from death - it's clearly now beginning. You could see it in his last visit. It's the start of the end.
just found out DIL is pregnant! very excited.
The main one was losing my cousin and the shock and effect on the family & the ripple effect it has. I think it has made us think a little bit more about tomorrow not being promised (after Vic last year too). Make the most of your days & time. Make it meaningful, even if it might be simple.
I graduated college!!! And this presented the first opportunity/space where it has been me with both sets of my parents + step-parents. It was really nice and weird and affected me in the sense that I feel and know that I am loved in this world and that is not something I take for granted. Family is complicated but it's also really fucking cool and I'm appreciative for my mindset to befriend my family.
We lost two of our family pets. The grief and silence have been really weird to navigate.
I was unable to travel to my uncle's funeral. I was sad that I was unable to honor him and bid farewell. I also was unhappy that I did not get to see cousins who live in various cities so I don't get to see often
Solomon moving in with us. It wasn’t that different than what was already happening but when we sold the NYC appartement if become finale. I wasn’t sure how we could take care of him and look after him to start a new life in Atlanta. That is still not entirely clear. But he’s a big part of our life here and makes our life possible. It’s been great having Solomon so close and not being alone. I also have a billiards partner and it’s great to see him with the kids. Sometimes I feel like we ignore him too much and don’t engage him enough.
My older grandson turned 14. It’s a little demoralizing to realize we’re all 14 years older.
Hosting foreign students through FIUTS at the University of Washington. We stared hosting in 1981 when we moved here; and until the pandemic had generally hosted students each year. One even come to live with us when her university was able to provide funds for registration for two quarters. We were delighted to host two undergraduates from Japan for two weeks and recently hosted a student from France who will be at the University for this year. We plan to have her for holidays and little vacations.
Not much happened with my immediate family, but a feline member of my family was diagnosed with severe kidney disease and almost died twice. This led to a falling out with a friend and lots of expensive vet visits and stress. Despite the difficulties, I couldn't have asked for a better emergency vet nor a more resilient patient. He is still chugging along ten months later, eating well these days and taking his meds and fluids like a champ. His kidney disease makes us appreciate him so much more knowing he will have a shortened lifespan. We will make the rest of his life with us filled with lots of love, adoration and cuddles.
Having a baby affected me both positively and negatively. My body image is in the shitter but I’m very happy she’s here.
We visited the UK and had an absolutely wonderful time. Getting used to Mass Transit and learning to get on the correct timed train was a fun experience. I had forgotten how much walking you do in a city compared to getting in your car and driving to where you want to go. I found it fun just riding in the trains and getting used to the different names of places and the different select words others use… like Flat for apt. or the common attitude… “You need to get shagged” by both men and women. And the commercials on TV… “You need to get permission” for sex BEFORE you act.
K turned 70. Wow. We met in our mid 20's. So much time has past. Anna got her first interview for PA school in her fourth attempt applying. Lola and Ruby left us, changing the makeup of our family. I love our family, our dynamic. K and I are better than maybe ever. It is easy mostly, with joy and kindness. Mostly.
Granny turned 90. Her decline is noticeable. It is bringing issues that we used to push aside to the forefront. How we are caring for her, and the labor that entails, is creating tension. It has made me change how I look at my parents, and their humanity as people, not just my parents.
A major milestone was M turning one year old! Being able to reflect back on this crazy first year of parenthood and all the change and growth that it brought. Celebrating what a miraculous, amazing, beautiful human we have created.
I can't think of any specific milestone events. I can't remember exactly when we started back fostering, but we have done two litters this year. I am hoping they will go home quickly because I am stressing a bit about them. Spouse also brought home another kitten from work, and while we tried to integrate him he was very overwhelmed. Stiles (other cat) also got very aggressive with him, and we think is reacting to another semi-adult (new kitten is 7 months old) in his territory. Because of this spouse decided to rehome the kitten, but keep one of the kittens we are fostering.
Dan and Tina finally breaking up. It has been a lot of work to keep him afloat emotionally and financially but he’s in a much better place now and Ezra is safer.
My siblings and I honored my father with an unveiling of his (shared) headstone (with my mother). The day was bittersweet as we visited with family and friends. My siblings were greatly affected by the loss and found the event frustrating. The meals with family/friends was great, but I found my father’s wife’s meddling to be bothersome.
Not really a milestone but I thought that I was already having a better connection to my parents and overcame most of my trauma and difficulties from the past. Unfortunately this year I figured out that small fights still end up in big feelings on my side, there’s still a lot of work to do for me to finally fully forgive them for my difficult childhood and accepting that they did their best, still do and that they do in fact love me, I guess.
My brother’s death is probably the biggest thing. Sometimes I forget he’s dead and think he is still here. Now it is just me and my mom. So I guess the biggest way this has affected me is that now I am in charge of all the things. It’s a lot.
My son. The best event of the year, and of all my life. His arrival has been a life changing event, the most unexpected of my life. I never envisioned myself as a parent, but now I cannot imagine not having my son in my arms. He has brought many smiles to my face, to my heart and to my soul. He has imprinted his existence in mine and the quantum entanglement between us can never be undone. I cherish every moment with him. I love his bright smile when he sees me and his laughter when I tickle him and play with him. He is the apple of my eyes. He brightens my day as soon as I hold him. I love him above everything else and everything I am and own is his.
This certainly isn’t the biggest for the family or myself, but a major one I think is the company’s 20th anniversary. It was so incredible to have my kids and my parents there to share in the simcha. Getting to share my “work self” with them, being brave in front of all my work people plus them, having them out there to interact with everyone….. truly incredible. I’m so proud and so blessed.
My younger sister’s cancer has progressed to Stage IV and she is on hospice care. It is heart breaking and difficult to think I will loose her. In the realm of what I can do for her, I’ve focused on letting her know that I love her and I try to make her as much as possible.
Three major milestones occurred this year. Adam had his Bar Mitzvah, David got his driver’s license and Hannah has thus far been accepted to The University of Kansas, The University of Arizona and The University of Alabama. There is no getting around it, our kiddos are growing up and no matter how much I’d like to stop time from ticking by, I am enjoying watching them mature into truly amazing people that I not only love, but really like.
My spouse and I celebrated a year in our first home, and it has felt life-giving to put down roots and be able to work on fixing things up, slowly. We replaced broken fence sections and gates, we fixed up the chicken coop, we went to festivals in our little town. It has helped me slow down and be present and enjoy the small tasks.
My dad passing affected me in all the ways that that does, but was also shocked at who wasn't there for me, who was down right cruel, and conversely who showed up with more love than I knew was there. It made me realize how much love he left behind for me and also who doesn't need to be in my life anymore.
Two of my dearest friends had a baby and they were the first in my circle of friends to become parents. To know the arduous journey that is pregnancy, the battle that is childbirth, and the hope that is a simchat bat: that moved my soul. I held my friends' daughter, realizing I was holding the Jewish future in my arms. In that moment I knew, there is nothing more precious than life and I was blessed to be a part seeing it.
Christy won her lawsuit - they settled in six figures! This is not only a confidence booster, to take on your employer (the largest in the region) and get a sizeable settlement! Her closure brings me peace within our family and hope in the world that When We Fight We Win!
Dad retired, a milestone that was a long time coming but felt sudden all the same. Retirement marks a new stage in his life and it is a stark reminder to me that time with both parents is incredibly precious. I'm inspired by the joy that Dad found in his work and that the end to his career was more about the internal furnace of energy running a little lower; not due to stress, or being fed up. He was passionate to the end. But there's a cautionary side to this as well. I note how my parents are very conscious of spending. A worthy attribute, but driven I think by the worry that their funds will run out. They are having to be careful and to plan. It just gives me a nudge to make sure I am putting enough away. How much is enough? Well, if I can travel to places I would like to visit and to maintain my hobbies and my health. See friends and family. With a few treats. I do personally think that I will need some enterprise on the side of my full time job so that I can secure a passive income.
Already answered as to my brother. I remain devastated.
This year was our 48th annual family vacation. We have traveled near and far with family from Georgia every year since 1976 (with the exception of 1997 due to illnesses and timing.) We are a large and loving family, and these annual trips are always a good time. This year, however, felt different. There was less joy and laughter, more tension than I’ve ever felt on a trip. I needed to miss one day in the middle of the week to attend a funeral, and I was actually happy to get to leave for the day. It makes my heart sad that the trip went this way. Family is so essential, and I don’t quite know how to fix what is broken. I can only give it to God and pray that our trip in 2025 has less stress and tension.
I got closer to my parents especially my father. He seems milder and shows his affection. I can feel that he cares about me a lot, he cries once on the phone when I talked to him. I haven’t felt so close to him in a long time and I am so thankful for it.
Someone got divorced and it makes me sad. My granddaughter is now walking and talking and her joy and smile make me very happy
Mother died and that change every thing. Extended family drifting apart. I must step up if I want things to connect.
My friend from high school had a little boy. I am so happy for them but its also hard because I have been having trouble with my fertility and suffered a miscarriage. So I see them so happy and know that may not be me.
Yet again I’m thinking about bringing Nomi into the world, and the impact on our family. I think we prepared Zahava well, but it’s still been a major transition. Potty training regression, sleep disruption, she may been excited to hold Nomi but she’s showing us that she’s struggling with the change in other ways. We were floating in a honeymoon stage the first month or so, and now that Blake is back at work it’s been tough to adjust for everyone. We’re getting more of a rhythm but I am also starting to acknowledge the impact of trying to keep it all together on me. I learn over and over the importance of self care, and yet I struggle to be consistent with it.
Our oldest grandson recently turned 13. Our daughter has a very secular approach to Judaism. That, paired with N's being on the spectrum, led to him not being Bar Mitzvah. It bothers me. It bothers me a lot that he and his siblings have no idea about their heritage.
Last November, my parents celebrated their 70th anniversary. It has been an incredible blessing to not only still have both of them alive, but to see them have such an excellent quality of life. I am grateful every day.
John got married! It was so so so much FUN! Susie and Rich threw them a great engagement party, and I missed the shower, and they married in May. It was a gorgeous wedding! I am thrilled for them. But I haven't forked over the cash yet... It will have to be late.
I retired. It's really nice.
Ellie started pre-k this year! I can't believe my tiny little baby is a school kid. I cried the entire way home after I dropped her off on the first day. She loves school so much. She's learning SO. MUCH. I can't believe it. The other day she came home and recited the entire Pledge of Allegiance while also saying it in sign language! I am blown away. Every day I am so grateful to be living here and have her going to school here. It's more than I can even express in words. My heart is so full.
Would have to be David getting himself a real job just before he turned 26. There were a couple of dead ends along the way, but now he's really launched, and living fully on his own dime (except for cell phone ). David is so proud, and we are too!
My mother in law just passed away. It will have a deep and long lasting affect on Beth. It has stirred up many thoughts about losing my mom 3 years ago. How many times during the day I have a thought that says "I need to call my mom and tell her about .......
My mom broke her wrist. I think that it altered her perception of her ability to be completely independent and self-sufficient. Moosita also passed away in August. My childhood continues to fade away piece by piece, but not into the abyss, just into memory. Precious memory.
This past year has brought some major milestones for my family, and it’s been a lot to process. My younger brother got engaged, my nana turned 98, and both of my parents celebrated their 70th birthdays. On top of that, my best friends are about to welcome their second child. While I’m happy for these moments, I can’t shake the feeling that time is slipping away faster than I can keep up. There’s this constant worry in the back of my mind. Will my nana be here long enough to see me get married, or to hold her great-grandchild? Will my kids grow up knowing their grandparents, or will they be too old by the time they arrive? And what about their cousins? Will the age gap be too large for them to build the kind of close relationships I had growing up with their parents? It feels like I’m standing in the middle of a river, with time flowing relentlessly around me, and I’m not sure if I’m moving at the right pace. Am I riding the current of time properly, or am I being left behind? It’s a strange and unsettling feeling, like life is rushing forward, and I’m constantly questioning if I’m where I should be. There’s a lot to reflect on, and it leaves me wondering how I should think about my place as time moves on.
We started scattering my big brother Gregory's ashes in our favourite places around these islands. I was the first to do it at the end of March. Moira and Sandy joined Fran and me in Wales for a few days. We took him to Ynyslas, my favourite beach, and where I proposed to Fran. His remains were kept in a large cardboard cylinder about the size of a big stack of CDs and the height of a tube of Pringles. It was heavy! And it was just one quarter of his remains! I went into the sea by myself. Before I went it, the four of us held the container together. As I walked into the waves, I was hit by another wave of grief. I was pleased I had that moment to myself, in private. I waded in to about waist height and opened the perforated lid of the container. I started to pour out the ashes, which came in a trickle. I had to make sure that I faced the right way with the wind at my back. I then realized it would work better if I ripped off the lid of the hole because it was flapping back inside and blocking the flow. I poured a lot but eventually it was empty. The ashes lay on top of the surface of the water and then were mixed in when they were hit by a wave. It seemed like the natural thing to do to take Gregory to each of our favourite places. Instead of having a grave site to visit, we will now be able to go to our favourite places whenever we want to see him. And his atoms will become a part of that landscape. I can say, "Let's go to see Gregory." Or let's go for a swim with him. It will become a palimpsest place with layers of memories of each year we visit; the joyous memory of my proposal to Fran, kneeling in the cold, shallow water; and of a more solemn time, putting my brother's body to rest. We were never able to share Ynyslas with Gregory while he was alive. And, to be honest, I wouldn't have wanted to share a holiday with him there. He wasn't great company when high or low or somewhere in between. So that one was emotional for me. Then, in late July, the Brains and Brawn met in Courtmacsherry, County Cork, where my sister Laura lives: Fran and I travelled over by car and ferry from Holyhead; Richard and Zoe flew. The five of us went to Laura's favourite beach, Broadstrand. As a celebrant, Laura had thought of how we could honour Gregory's dark side and our own shadow selves. We created a little shrine out of the different parts of his life: family, friends, metal (I forget everything, to be honest). Laura gave a speech. I was expecting to be more emotional, but I was calm and composed. Then we drew a family tree in the sand and put candles on the branches to represent each of us. We then took his remains in the sea, in the same container as before. We took turns holding the container as we scattered the ashes in the water. The same problem of the lid getting stuck inside and stopping the flow. Richard's swimming shorts got a bit covered in ashy dust. Then we had a swim together. We did it at the early part of the holiday and it felt like a weight was lifted afterwards. Then it was Moira and Sandy's turn. They took him to Kimory beach on Achnamara: their special place. They were alone this time but spent hours being in that landscape, choosing where to scatter his ashes in private. Moira also talked of some sense of relief and gratitude. My brief ball seems to have got smaller and the waves of grief are less frequent; but they do still hit me every now and again. When I cry over films and TV, it's often with a nip of grief for Gregory somewhere in there, too. Will every time I cry from now on be like this? What's next? There's one more portion of his remains to scatter. We've got plans to do that next October on the Isle of Arran in Richard and Zoe's favourite spot. But we won't have been there yet by this time next year, so I'll have to wait a couple of years to write about that.
I found out that my husband has been cheating on me on and off throughout our marriage. We’ve been married for 8 years. I was/am devastated. I think in some ways, it has made our relationship so much stronger and opened up lines of communication that didn’t exist before. But also, I am super suspicious and monitor his texts and don’t always like this new me.
We didn’t really have a significant milestone this year. I think the conversations we had about our marriage and what things need to change may be pivotal one day. They’ll either be what sparked change and a lasting marriage or the catalyst for the end of us. I really hope it’s the spark.
My brother went to treatment. After years of trying so hard, I was finally stern with him about going to rehab. And despite his attitude toward me for it, IT WORKED. And I have zero regrets about letting Holli know the kids were not in a safe place. I did what I had to do. It was hard, but my little sweeties deserve a dad. I don't know what his memory of it was but my therapist tells me it's normal for an addict to hate the person who is not enabling them. I have to trust myself and my instincts. I have done everything I could. I hope by next year when I read this, he and I have mended. I miss him in my life. I hope he is staying sober and doing well. I love you, Jay.
Probably that I feel like I have been adopted into a family. My personal family is a mess, and I have carried that disconnect through to adulthood. It is nice to have found people that feel like family
My brother Kenny got married. It has given me much joy because she is a great woman and he is a great guy.
My father’s illness was an intense experience. Almost losing him put many things into perspective and made me realize that I won’t be young forever. It also made me think about when my mom or my father in law will live with me.
Brad's wedding for SURE!! Whatta great weekend that was. I now officially have a caring daughter-in-law who has been very helpful to me and makes my son happy.
My daughter left for college and although it was stressful and sad and a big change for us, it actually brought us closer and strengthened our relationship overall.
A major milestone is that me and G came up with and presented boundaries with I and M to be implemented in 2025.
I turned 70 this year. It feels like a major milestone in so many ways. I say it happened with my family because we were all gathered and I think it’s a telling marker for everybody. Given my heart issues and over the past few years, I think my being in relatively good shape is reassuring to them, not just about me, but about life in general
A major milestone that happened to my family this year is that I expanded it by getting married. My husband's family has been so kind and inclusive of me. It has made me feel connected and even more committed to this relationship, which now feels more legitimate than it did before we were engaged and married. My own children have effectively disowned me after starting it, despite that their father is openly dating the person with whom he was in a years long affair. I also really need my dad's family, who have stepped up and been very supportive of my choice to be in this relationship, especially now that I am married.
Well, there are many. And they are serious. But I think the most major is that my mother-in-law died, which officially makes my husband an orphan. It keeps the following ideas present in my thoughts, and often hard to climb out of: my own eventual orphandom, what my sister and my relationship will look like after both or even one of our parents are gone, my husband's old age and mortality, my own old age and mortality, what will I leave as my legacy, what is my life worth, I'm not doing enough to be remembered by future generations, what will happen to all of my stuff since we don't have kids. Sometimes these thoughts can be all-consuming, overwhelming, and spiral-of-doom inducing. Usually, I recognize these as unhelpful or at the very least unanswerable questions and run away from them. I think I should probably sit with these extremely uncomfortable questions for a little while, and maybe journal about them so that they aren't so powerful over me. But in the day-to-day, that event has left my husband and I with a trust of funds that will take care of us in our old age, but that also makes me nervous, because I've never not had money worries. I don't know how to live with money and not worry that it will all go away anyway. And my husband is lonely, because his parents were both his best friends before me. I know he sometimes feels untethered, and I and my parents always try to remind him that we are his family, too. I know he appreciates that, but it's hard to see him hurt so badly.
The major milestone is my move back -- back into a house I have not lived in for 18 years or so, and which, before that, was a very dramatic household, in both exciting and wonderful ways AND sad and depressing ways. The "full catastrophe" of living. As I mentioned in a previous answer, I have been slogging through "moving in" even though it is a wonderful structure in a convenient area. I have to grow emotionally through this period of change. It is a wonderful challenge!
Adir and nediva!!! Every new family member is so exciting and it's been really special seeing yoni michal and cobi ayelet as parents. One affect is just having cute little babies near home. A really big affect is the family is really widening and all the sudden everybody's got a lot more peoe to worry about but it's been special to see how we continue to look out for each other. Like especially during breakup everyone really came thru for me. And put so many other things aside. Separately having bauers make aliya is really exciting like my sister coming to Israel and another step in family coming together in isrsel
It has taken me forever to think of something here. I think perhaps my middle sister's family moving to Mexico is a big one. I really miss spending time with my sisters. I'd like to figure out a way to get the 3 of us together without their spouses/children.
A major milestone my family experienced was my sister graduating college and my moving to the city. The separation of my family has caused me to mature and figure things out for myself. I have become more independent because of this. My parents have done a great job keeping our family together through this big change by calling us on the phone, planning family vacations, and visiting us. They have maintained their relationship through these changes, and they have been really inspiring to me.
Second out of 4 B’nei Mitzvot down!! There is some peace of mind in starting to get a feeling for how it all works and feeling like we (slightly!) know what we’re doing :)
Louis graduated from kindergarten and started 1st grade. He can read. Cora became potty trained, sort of. Cora had her first surgery - on her eyes. It was awful, but I think it helped her strabismus. We went through a cat 1 hurricane. My parents toured Europe - a lifelong dream. Henry didn’t die.
My older grandson has entered final year of high school. My daughter and son in law are focused on selection of a college that meets all requirements, including physical and emotional safety. He and his brother are both following challenging and rewarding leadership pursuits. Whilst I am so proud of the achievements of both younger generations, I have been reflecting on how I could have been more supportive, and how I can improve on that support in future.
I started respite care for a deaf child and really thrived for the time that I was doing the care. I know that I do really want the rhythm of caring for kids in a foster context, but I don't have the capacity currently to do that. These kiddos I probably won't see again because it is difficult to continually support families in crisis but I do want to connect with others to provide support.
My niece entered rehab for her alcoholism; I’m very proud of her.
Our daughter began Kindergarten. This means she's a big kid, it also means she and her brother are in the same school. It's shifted the logistics dynamics in our household in a way that's been different from the last 5 years. I now am responsible for the mornings and drop-off. While dad is very helpful for evening pickups... it's taken some time for all of us to adjust to our new norms. How has it affected me? Overall, positively. I get to see and know her in new ways. I think it lessens the quality time I have with my son, but we are all adjusting. I was nervous but am feeling positive overall.
This is a heavy one. 10/7 and aftermath, plus fully moving to LA, has come with a lot of beauty and joy, especially building routin with M&M&S, and it's come with grief, tension and rupture. I've felt deeply overwhelmed navigating family challenges, working on healing childhood experiences, and finding my voice through this difficult time. I hope for more ease and connection and clarity in the coming year.
Ernest's father, Han, died this year. It was especially poignant for me, coming on the heel's of my father's death in 2023. I'm conscious that Ernest and I will soon be the elder generation of our families, and how scary that feels. I'm more conscious of the need to spend the time we have wisely, to prioritize love and joy and being with friends and family.
Boba died. It was so sad and so hard even though it was her time. She got moved to hospice care when Ben and I were visiting in December. In early January she stopped waking up and stayed alive for seventeen days!!! Every day we canceled and rebooked our flights to Milwaukee because i didn't want to go out and miss class and then go back and miss her funeral. it was so stressful. every day the hospice nurse would tell us that this had to be the last day, and then she would keep living. B finally came out with me, everyone was there, it was very sweet. Her bed was in her living room and we all sat around and took turns holding her hands. The night she died B made spaghetti and meatballs for everyone and it was all Toby Harris could talk about, even during the funeral. There were so many people at the funeral for a 92 year old and many of us (besides Linus) gave sweet eulogies. It was a really beautiful time for us together as a family. I think about her and miss her all the time. We were so lucky. also, b and i bought a house and moved in together!! that is huge if not replete with my guilt around perpetuation of generational wealth!
I can't point to a single event...more a collection of small milestones that aggregate to something major. Throughout the year there have been changes with my son, my parents, and others. Many of these changes are normal parts of life but they signal the passage of time...and wow does it pass by fast. Noah finished 7th grade and started 8th, my parents are all of a sudden old seemingly diving head first into senior behaviors and worries, I am rapidly approaching 50, my friends have children who have graduated high school and moved out of the house. These milestones impact me in different ways. Sometimes it is a feeling of amazement in how far someone or even myself have progressed. Other times it is a feeling of dread of what is coming. My parents will not be young and healthy forever. Still other times it becomes anxiety related to not having done enough or occasionally wishing I could change the past...this is where therapy helps me know that I need to accept what has happened and not ruminate over the past. I think the totality of all of these little events has brought me to the very real understanding that we all run out of "some days"...dreaming of the future we all often say some day I will XYZ. For me, my peers, my wife, and definitely my parents those "some days" need to be now or they may never come.
My aunt Linda died, which was kind of expected, but kind of a shock. She was a brittle diabetic who did not follow her doctor's advice like she should have, and she lived alone in a fairly rural part of FL. She was in her mid-70's, had started falling down almost once a week for several months and refused to have anyone come live with her. My uncle had died a few years ago, and he had spent a lot of time taking care of her when he was alive. We thought she had her affairs in order, but when she died, our family was all of a sudden locked out of everything. My dad was told that she would be leaving certain things for me and my two siblings. She was always one of our favorite aunts, and we all felt like we had a good relationship with her. We sent cards on birthdays and holidays throughout our lives, spoke on the phone sometimes, and enjoyed each other's company at family functions. We were all so shocked the way things were handled, and we are left with so many questions about what happened and why. It goes beyond wanting any of her money, it was more like, did my uncle change her will and have her sign it while she was "out of it", as she frequently was due to her diabetic episodes? Was my uncle playing a game with us? After he died, we all found out that he had been having an affair for the past several years, and that he had been stashing money around their property for the "other family". I always thought I was close to him too, but now I am unsure. It was all so strange, and I still wrestle with this almost a year later. That saying "truth is stranger than fiction" sure does ring true.
My partner moved in with me. We were both excited and nervous going into it - and it has been really wonderful. We talked a lot beforehand about how to make it work for both of us, and we communicate very well around challenges. And, it's just so nice to have her company more of the time.
One of my six grandchildren was married in Aug 2024 (first two were married in 2022, third married 2023), another got engaged this year and the sixth is living with a significant other. They are all happy and healthy. This fills me with joy and is a counter-balance to the grief I feel about my family living in Israel, some of whom are descendants of Holocaust survivors (their mother, my mother’s first cousin died 12/20/22). My youngest brother, his five children and two grandchildren live there too. Of course, I want them all to be safe but I am saddened that he doesn’t share my compassion for the Palestinian, as well as Israeli, victims of the war.
I can't think of any major, traditional milestones. The best I can come up with is that I moved back into my parent's house for a couple of months during a stretch of unemployment. I was only a few months out of college, so this wasn't as huge or unexpected as it sounds, but it was still something I neither planned on nor wanted. While I strongly disliked needing to move back home, it helped me learn how to relate to my parents as an adult. It also showed me that my parents will always be there for me and the importance of a strong, close family, which, as cliche and cheesy as it sounds, feels like a very valuable thing to know and appreciate.
I don't think we had any major milestones this year. It seemed that nothing special happened. E is growing (thank God). M although was doing more freelance stuff and thriving (may he continue). I've just been doing my job and getting things done. It all feels very routine.
I think we have two, both revolving around our now 3 year old -- the first is potty training, for sure. It was surprisingly easy, so I thank our friends for working on it with their kids and letting them teach ours. And going to ECE3. School is a total game changer for us - financially, schedule wise. And it's so good for him. I'm getting more sleep, it's the only way our budget is working right now since we don't pay the nanny as much anymore and my hours at work were cut. For the first time in our son's life, I feel some support from my larger community; I feel like I'm valued a little bit by my city, state, country, for raising the next generation. I feel slightly less alone.
I've put off this answer for a full week, because I don't know the answer to it. I keep going back to my own milestone of having two new hips that allow me to walk without pain. I realize it's not my family's milestone, just mine, though I have been told it's changed my face. My partner said I no longer have "I'm in pain" face, so... that seems to be it! Two hips. no more "I'm in pain" face. I'll take it.
This past year was a whirlwind. First, my wife's car was stolen on our annual trip to Montreal in November. Then I left for Colombia after New Year's. Then the family came to visit in February. Then I returned at the end of April. Then my wife went on vacation in May. Then we went on a western road trip in July. Then everyone was away at camp. Then the semester started and we went to a conference in Paris. So it's been a year of milestones around cross-cultural travel and much of it with family. It's only now during this holiday season that life is starting to settle back down for any sort of contemplation.
Isaac starting secondary school. It has felt like a huge step and my role has increased not decreased in some ways. Through the summer it felt like the boys were growing up suddenly and it's the first year I haven't done many day trips with them as they've wanted to be with their friends more. I've felt myself grieving a bit to be honest.
I think a big one is that after the family reunion at my dad's this summer, the one with P and Néo, it was so obvious that this kind of event was not fun for anyone anymore that the conclusion was that it was the last one. No more reunion with all the sisters at the same time, they just don't have the same values as us and it brings up so much resentment that it makes people sick. My dad ended the night in an ambulance because we thought he was having a heart attack, but thankfully it was "just" a panic attack, his heart is apparently in top shape (which is a huge relief, he's 74 after all). It's sad that my older sisters are not really aware of the decision and that they will simply not see any reunion planned in the future, my dad will see everyone in different contexts but never all together at once and that's ok. Being an expat and seeing them only in these contexts, I wonder when I'll see them again. We don't really have a relationship and when I come home to visit I don't really have the time nor the will to spend time 1 on 1 with them, so it feels like it'll be "weddings and funerals"... I didn't really think about it until now. It's heavy to think about it this way.
My nieces started pre-school. It feels like time is moving so fast, one day my sisters says she’s pregnant and Oli was born, then she’s pregnant again and Este was born. It feels like yesterday I first held them in my arms as I acquired a new title, to be worn with joy, tía. And then I was photographing them walking into their first day of pre-school, holding hands with their mother. This life maybe full of grief and suffering, but there is also joy and happiness. Even when the light sometimes seems small, it can dispel a lot of darkness. Here’s to bringing new life into this world and lighting more light.
In December 2023, I saw my big brother Chester Jr. get married and got to meet more of my brothers on my dad's side. After my brother's wedding, he started a weekly text group with a couple of my brothers and me so we can keep in contact. That text group has been a constant in my life since then and proves how important it is to stay in touch with lose you love. We talk about life, love, and anything else on our minds. I'm glad we're family and are making an effort to stay in touch.
A major milestone that happened this year with my family was starting therapy with Allison. I think we finally came to a point of needing outside help. This has been an interesting experience as I have learned more about her. I still struggle with our relationship but at least we are trying and working on it. This has helped with family gatherings as we don't argue as much at them. I am hoping that a year from now we will be in a better spot.
My daughter became engaged to her non-Jewish partner. I knew the day was coming. I’d known for years. She’s content. They’re happy. I want to be happy for her — for them — but it’s hard. He has no interest in converting. He supports her in her connection to Judaism but any religion is not for him. I always vowed never to attend an interfaith wedding. Yet even my Orthodox rabbi says that such a draconian stance would do more harm to the relationship than standing on principle. I don’t agree. I don’t approve. I don’t want this. Yet I love my child and want to maintain a relationship with her. So I’m having to come to terms with this. I’m not sure if it’s accepting that I’m doing or resignation or something in between.
Our second child and the final member of our nuclear family was born. This was the biggest milestone since my mom died. This has brought so much joy to everyone in the mishpocha. We really were waiting for her.
Son got a job! He worked hard at it, he made looking for a job his full time job, and he got an interesting, fulfilling, professional position that he loves. It makes me happy that he’s so happy. And when he’s happy, I’m happy!!
Mom passed. I have become sadder. More cynical. More easily frustrated. My times in finding joy have been brief. I have moments where sheer silly little acts of kindness put me in tears. It's easier to cry in emotional moments. I think about death a lot more - some moments it doesn't scare me, some it does. I want to make sure Dad's okay if I outlive him. I question what I should do for when I pass - how do the ones I know love them? What do I leave behind? I am the last of our line. Do I get the heal the trauma of generations past? I wish I could throw my worries away - I wish I could act out. I know there are people who find an extra zest for life after the death of loved ones. I think I just have too many things to worry about at once. There's no time. I don't know if I can truly answer this question until my grief eases.
My granny is 95, soon to be 96 and she moved in with my Mom. This is life changing for my mom. Hard in a lot of ways, but I see it as a positive. My mom was floundering after the loss of her husband, and this gives her a purpose again. It has made me desperate to be closer to home, so that I could support and help. I feel so limited far away and I know every day I'm not with granny now, is one of few numbered days.
My spouse's grandfather died, which was hard, but also he was 101. We were all set to never go to Florida again, but now his sister just moved there. Just in time to have to evacuate and then have her home flooded by a hurricane. Nothing like family in harm's way to make climate change feel super real.
Birthdays and travel adventures come to mind first. But we also had an "overnight hospital admission" milestone of sorts that I never wanted. It reminded me how un-restful hospitals are and how important vaccines are. It blows my mind that an RSV vaccine and/or antibodies are now pretty readily available, whereas less than a year ago my littlest was sick with adenovirus and RSV and landed in the hospital. I hate the annual autumnal slog of searching for updated COVID and flu vaccines when they should be freely available at every corner store, so to speak. But it reminded me how thankful I am that I don't regularly interact with the hospital system. As our neighbors/dear friends continue a cancer journey, and as my dad's wife recovers from a non-cancer related surgery, I am reminded of my own mother's journey through the tumultuous yet miraculous medical system when I was in high school. Is any of this a milestone? Not really! It is more of a reminder.
Well, we just got a dog! That's a big one. My 10 year old has been lobbying us for years, and I was the big hangup. Seeing my kids with my brother and sister in law's older puppy really won my heart over, but I was still dreading it. Then I met Neli and it was over - I love this dog and this dog loves me! I feel like my daughter is her primary person, sure, but she's the family's dog. And now we are suddenly having to think through plans in a whole new way.
Kaila’s decision of what College to go to was impactful and took much time. Then her decision to not do the Wilderness adventure with Prescott College is the second part of the milestone. She returned home to take two courses on line. I was proud of her ability to understand what worked and didn’t work for her. It will be fascinating to see what she chooses next! Having time with her this fall, has been a gift. This also relates to not having gone to Australia and New Zealand.
Mom dies during the full moon in October. I have considered my own mortality and how I might therefore live more fully.
We had our first baby, a son, who was stillborn. It has fundamentally changed me as a person. I am a mother without her child. My husband is a father without his son. Not a day goes by that we don't think about and talk about him. Our grief is overwhelming at times, yet I am more patient, kinder, and so acutely aware of what matters. I love him in a way I never knew was possible and am grateful every single day that I get to be his mom.
My grandfather passed away and none of his affairs were in order for him to do so. It's hard watching my grandma struggle, because she was a typical 50s housewife with no knowledge of any of the business end of her household. Untangling their financial situation has been a mess, and I'm learning a lot just helping my dad chase down documents. On the flip side, I have my mother harping on me to encourage my grandmother to make all these sudden changes to her life, because my grandmother doesn't have much in the way of retirement and she and my millionaire aunt don't want to pay for her. It's infuriating being caught in the middle (especially because my parents will also not financially help their children... it's been an eye opener seeing how selfish they are).
we had lunch out on christmas day, with no worries about shopping and meals and preparations. i felt at ease even though the lunch out wasn't of great quality.
A major milestone that feels more poignant this year is the entry into our next phase - empty nest. Even though it is marked by youngest entering college (or it has for us), her second year, and the passing of our fur baby, marks the change of a caregiving role for me - there is no longer anyone at home that needs to be cared for. And so I’ve been a bird out of a cage - so to speak! Traveling, reflecting on how I want to give my attention to now… and realizing there’s a window that will need to be lowered at some point with honoring my role as a daughter/daughter-in-law and the caregiving responsibilities I associate with them. It’s impressing upon me the need to expand my community more - professionally, personally - with the belief that we’re not suppose to go it alone. So what do I want this to look like? Who is among me that I feel I can ask and also support them? The list is longer than it has been - and I can feel my heart expand.
My brother proposed to his girlfriend this summer. My son is very excited, as are we.
I've started to reopen communication with my family this year. It's still awkward and intermittent and I don't have expectations of deep connection with any of them but I feel mostly okay with that. I don't need them to be the family I want so I can more easily find peace with the family they are.
My retirement. It has been a positive event for my family. I am more available and able to take care of them.
My son has decided to end his journey with extreme marathons. It is with some relief that he has maintained his friendships but seems to want to relinguish the hold it these strenuous events had on him and has found new itnerests and kept his friendships. I am so pround of him. He suceeded in doing the last event, the one he had really wanted to do- completling it, not to the degreee he wanted, but somehow he was able to cope with the disappointment and say that was enough.
Ava's graduation/18th birthday was the biggest milestone for us. I mentioned on Day 1 that it has impacted me in many ways but it was - in the larger context - it was really amazing. We made it. Through divorce and remarriage and ups and downs . . . we got through this really important chapter in our FAMILY. And now we can all figure out what our relationships look like in this next phase.
We added another child: baby Phoenix! This has changed everything, and yet, it feels very natural. I think I've learned to be more patient and to enjoy the little things, and to take in her babyhood. It helps that I have the resources to take care of myself, and that I'm feeling pretty good physically, so I can focus more on her needs. I'm proud of my ability to handle challenges.
Bill's daughter Sara turned 50 and most of the family reunited in Sacramento for a celebration. Unfortunately, making plans brought up a past memory for his daughter Gina and their relationship continues to suffer. As a result, I am treading lightly in any communication with her.
Our daughter started high school! Her going to college used to feel like it would be years ago, but now somehow it has a finite timeline - one that is shorter than a major highway construction project near our house. I think it's made me want to do so much more with my kids so they can see more of the world before they leave home.
I completed my conversion to Judaism in June. While that's been a deeply personal journey, it also has required us all to shift and connect and compromise as a family. We've had to navigate hard conversations about how we support each other when we hold different beliefs, about how we share ourselves with one another when there are parts of us the other doesn't understand, how to live as a family that holds different beliefs and cultures with abundance rather than limitation. Initially when I began this journey we had a number of arguments. Over a long, slow journey, we got to a place where I felt supported and at home in my Jewish household even as my partner is an atheist. I also feel like I'm able to honor and support his boundaries and limits and connect in parts of myself I worried we wouldn't be able to share.
Can't think of any major milestone in my family itself. I have distanced myself from most of my family due to different world views and not sharing the same values. Friends have had babies and gotten married which makes me want that even more, but nothing that is significant to affect me majorly.
Family is a very difficult subject for me. I am alone in the world. My parents are dead. Not that I had a relationship with them when they were alive, but now I couldn’t if I tried. My brothers are estranged for many years. And if you knew what I know about them, you’d stay away also. I am divorced. I have no spouse. And I have no kids. I even lost my puppy in the divorce. While I have some close friends who could be considered chosen family, those are few, and I am still rebuilding my own world. The only milestone that could be considered a “family” milestone is that the divorce case settled and that means the last bit of family I had is now gone. I feel very alone in the world. I am rewriting my will and need to decide who will get my stuff when I die. Who will execute my will. Who will make my healthcare decisions should I be unable to do so. These are not small responsibilities. They are not things I am willing to ask friends to take on. But I am also deeply aware of what it might take to rebuild and what I need in my life. I have a better idea when I seek out connection in a given venue whether I am getting what I need. I am defining what I need in my life - and what I need to leave from my life - on my own terms. It’s forcing me to define my own legacy in many different ways.
My wife and I celebrated our 20th anniversary. We took a great trip, spent a lot of time together. It was an incredible time. Reconnected at length, not that we weren't close, but there was some real value in just getting far out of dodge.
No major milestones this year. No births, deaths, marriages, special birthdays. In the nature of life though, these will happen soon. This year has been peacefully uneventful.
My 11-year-old son gave a great drum performance in May. To me, that marked a serious accomplishment in his musical journey. He also graduated elementary school, did his first sleep-away camp, and started middle school. Middle school is a mixed bag, but overall I feel love and excitement for the person that he is, and I am so grateful for the closeness that we have. I try to maintain our closeness by being the best listener that I can be, and giving him one-on-one time and opportunities for physical touch, while also being attentive to changes in what he needs. This is sort of like the rubber hitting the road of parenting for me, because he is now at the age I was when my relationship with my parents started to fall apart, so I don't have a map in my own personal experience. I have spent many years anticipating this chapter, and worrying what our relationship would look like on the other side of adolescence, and right now I believe I am doing okay.
Husband celebrated first year alcohol free. Major MAJOR milestone! Helped receive my love for him.
My younger daughter's bat mitzvah. Which came at the end of a month that was possibly as difficult as the month following the end of my marriage. For a brief, shiny moment, we came together as a blended family and the moment was captured in a photograph that brings her so much joy and for that, I am grateful
Our daughter and my husband went to Israel to volunteer for the farmers and at the soldier equipment distribution sites. Our daughter Angela looked after me and our household. I already did my volunteer work with Sar-el, but was sad my decripit body didn't allow me to go with them.
My sister getting married definitely shifted our overall dynamic, but the build-up to the wedding over a very long engagement also had an impact on the way we all interact. Things have lot their intensity in a big way, but it also feels like everyone is really settled. It feels like we can breath again, and maybe just enjoy a quiet period before some other major life event occurs.
We have all had mixed feelings about selling the house the boys grew up in and moving to Alexandria. We absolutely miss having a backyard and a basement and our own rooms! But so far, quality of life has improved significantly, despite our lack of space and exponential increase in noise pollution (from inside the apartment!) and we are loving being close to Z’s school and everything else. J seems to love his new school and hadn’t expressed any longing for his old building or friends. We are closer to all the fun things and are able to engage in both boys’ schools/PTOs/communities.
We moved to a lovely little house on 2 acres. Have a large garden. Trees. Seasons. Happy to finally be out of Texas. I wasted so much energy hating on that state. I feel free.
No major milestones this year. Jacob is graduating from Explosive Ordinance training and I’m able to go see him graduate. It reminded me of what is important.
Goodness, where to start: baby being born- girl after 2 boys!, switching jobs (twice!), spending the summer away from home, 2 catastrophic house repairs not covered by homeowners insurance that have yet to be completed (and that caused us to get dropped by insurance), kid #2 starting K, baby having chronic ear infections and needing tubes (hopefully by the end of Oct), baby starting daycare. It's a lot! I just try to take time in the evening to unwind. And I read a LOT and watch a lot of TV as my escape. Being social with friends is nice too.
This year my 77 year old mom came to Nationals in Huntington Beach and hung out for the weekend at the tournament. I realize that if I want to see her in California more, I have to invite her rather than assuming she knows she is welcome. She met my Chicago racquetball friends Kelly and Dan, she met my NorCal racquetball friends Izzy and Aaron, and a bunch of other racquetball peeps, which I was so happy to hear how much she loved them along with having a good time. I am more attuned to my parents getting older and not being able to be as mobile and having the kind of stamina they had when they were younger. Although there is nothing I can do about that, I can try to do a better job of creating time together because they are going to go at some point. As I write this, my stepdad George is still in the hospital after taking too many pain pills (on accident) and trying to fight off pneumonia. It sounds like he will recover, but this is the first time either he or my mom got really sick or debilitated so much so that they had to be hospitalized as they've started to be more advanced in their ages. I hope this is just a blip and not a foreshadowing.
My two younger brothers and I lost our mother after battling pancreatic cancer for over two years. Our mother was the bond that made us communicate with each other. Now we barely talk to each other. It hurts, I want to be there as an uncle to my nieces and nephews.
My kid entered high school with no huge negative outcomes, other than that he's having trouble keeping up with his homework. I'm really proud of him for getting settled in a new place, making friends, and adapting to being a high schooler.
In the last year (and change), Jason and Molly got married and had their first child (Rosey). This marks a shift in my generation from children to parents. Even though I do not intend on becoming a parent for another ten years or so, the idea of being Uncle Aidan to a new generation of children in my family is exciting.
There have been no major milestones that happened in my family this year. Everything is status quo. I don’t know if that’s good or bad!
Bella leaving for college was a huge impact - it forced me to ask the question, what do I want for myself and where am I going? What am I doing? Being in a dead end job wasn't enough for me. I sold my condo and now I have a little nest egg while I work to grow my business.
My 5 year old granddaughter began kindergarten. It has shown me how truly awesome she is. She and I are so different. She shines so brightly and faces the world with confidence and joy. I have taken many years to reach that goal. I feel grateful for her having a family where this confidence and joy is welcomed and nurtured. I am proud of my daughter and her truly elevated parenting skills.
Ugh, see answer to #1. Additionally, we've been open with our respective families about the IVF journey. That's... good. Or, it feels like something good. It allows a semblance of intimacy even though I'm not so precious about it. I'm only slightly precious about it; there are some people I don't want to talk about it in front of but I'm less bothered about them potentially knowing. Basically, I'm an open book with everyone except co-workers and that's extraordinarily taxing. And that's living in the US where don't have workplaces that elicit trust for people trying to grow their families.
Our family moved away this year, it has allowed us to reconsider our priorities and plans for longer term solutions too.
Two milestones: dad died---I already wrote about that. The other milestone---my longtime boyfriend has stepped up to help and is now driving my daughter to school in the mornings so I can make it to work on time. Over ten years ago when we first started dating and my daughter was only five years old, he said he would be there to help me. I didn't need his help until now, and when I did, he stepped up without me even asking. It has made a world of difference for me and for all three of us.
My youngest is planning a wedding. My middle child finally has a “real” job. My mother continues to age into her mid-90s. And I turn 65 at the end of the month. I’m not yet old, but I’m not young anymore. It’s not exactly sad, but it is reality knocking at the door.
The most significant change is the very recent addition of my dearest sister to our household. Her partner pulled the rug out from under her again. Although she would not characterize it as that, I am not so generous. I adore my sister and will do whatever I can to help her heal and move on. And should she choose to live here forever, my hubby and I welcome her wholeheartedly. Should she choose to use this as a temporary resting place while regrouping, we will support her in any way possible for that as well. She has been badly beaten emotionally, but she'd not down and out by any means. Her strength is amazing.
My husband's older sister passed away. They weren't terribly close yet he was deeply affected. He had some significant experiences with her. Because we've developed a very close relationship I felt his sorrow and sadness. It was difficult yet is helping us draw even closer to each other.
The milestones which happened in iur family in 2024 were joyous occasions with the birth of 2 grandchildren. These both we re miracle babies. We have beed blessed
My oldest daughter started high school this year. She seems more confident and sure of herself but she still needs to be more gentle with herself. I am very proud of the woman that she is becoming and I can't wait to see what she will do in the future!
The love of my life is likely going to die this or next year. If not then, he will suffer nonetheless and his life will be significantly shortened. Either which way I look at it, if I hold onto hope, I still grimace at the thought of his suffering. It has made me cut off from almost everyone, it has made me bitter and jealous that we are still young and everyone we know is well, not dying of cancer. It has made me realise how bad people are with sickness and mortality, how selfish people can be that they can't help others in their time of anguish. It has made me realise community does not exist and I'm bereft. Whilst I don't think I even care what happens to me after he is gone, it strikes me that I will be alone. And the world will turn, when I want it to stop.
The milestone was my husband's death. It changed my life in so many ways that I am still processing it. I guess it will take me a while to do that.
Both our adult children began their professional careers one year ago, and it has changed our family dynamics a bit now that they are independent. We definitely don’t see them as often, since their vacation time is limited, but when we do get together it is always great. The summer was tough, as we were busier than ever, and the opportunities to get together were infrequent, but we are adjusting to the newest stage of our family, and will plan some great vacations together.
We had a second story added to our house. I definitely appreciate the value of having "enough" space, and I never want to move again (or if I do - I'll apply the same refrain as I have time and time again - I want to do it with enough time to focus on it and not have to squeeze it in between everything else that's going on all the time.) As a second order effect, something I didn't expect was the way family's reaction to the house affected me. My mom walked through and said, "This is really great Jennifer, I am really happy for you." I can't overemphasize how incredible it felt to hear that from a parent, especially one whose relationship with me used to be pretty strained with jealousy and resentment on her part when I was growing up. To hear her delighting in something that I worked hard for (and that yes, is quite nice) felt so validating and just GOOD. My mother in law's first reaction was to ask what we are still planning to do (as we still need to add some artwork and get some furniture, organize some things, etc.) Clearly it isn't done-done, but can't she say something nice about the main product? And then she had a judgment about how big our closest are in the master bedroom. And then she wanted to know if we replaced the toilet in the old laundry room downstairs, and groaned audibly when I told her no, it was still the same one. Apparently she doesn't like how low to the ground it is - but it was made for someone in a wheel chair (plus it is mainly used by our kids who are still young, some of them quite young, who can't quite reach a "normal" toilet), and, there are several other toilets in the house that are very available for her to use. At that point I stopped giving her the tour of the house because it seemed obvious that she didn't have anything nice or gracious to say. All she had was negativity, criticism, and judgement - I didn't need to hear it, and was disappointed that she couldn't at least be happy for us even if she didn't find the house suited to her personal aesthetics.
Dani and my IVF journey is the family milestone that has most resonated with me. Of course this is our process and has impacted our mental capacity, energy, finances, and focus. But we have been positive and remain hopeful and good.
Mum recently had to give up her car and her licence. This is just one more step towards the inevitable. She wants to continue being independent but I don't know how much longer that will be possible. Which means I probably need to start thinking about being her carer as I'm the only one near by.
A major milestone this year was not making a big move. It is a lot of ‘ghost ship’ feelings. It involves wrestling with our choices. I have felt a bit chained to both my choices and my passions. The passions don’t always align together…recreation and profession are the example.
I think me and my parents have finally figured out our way of harmony together. We know each others boundaries, we know when the other needs support, we respect each other's decisions. For the first time ever it feels like we are one, together and I feel equally close to mum and dad, which I never thought would happen. I love my parents so very much, they are the reason I am who I am, I am so so grateful to be here because of them.
The most major milestones are my kids getting to the "big kid" stage, where we are touring and talking about colleges for our oldest child and also supporting our younger teen in choosing a high school and pursuing his passion with a particular sport. It's a lot of time and work to support them in these endeavors, but also super rewarding too as they are so motivated. My husband also is starting a new business and this is an exciting while also a bit of an uncertain time for our family as well/
Bat Mitzvah. My daughter's coming of age really started just a few months after she began her menses and she's changed so dramatically that her brother and I have had to adjust so much to the new behaviors and personality that we're not really fans of. I'm relearning to parent her and it's a dynamic I'm not loving.
Rachel passed her comprehensive exams and moved to Japan for 11 months. And Lilly has a new job at the Orlando Health Cancer Institute. We are so proud of both of you.
Moving house. I don't think I have ever experienced such a stressful time
My personal theatrical milestones were directing a play, marveling at Karen’s performance as Fruma Sara, and doing our Fall play at PJTC. Our annual family vacations included a stay in the Virgin Islands (fun, but we still prefer Hawaii), then a summertime vacation in Maui with just we adults, with the kids opting for Summer Camp!
Like me, all of my brothers have gotten engaged, and one has even gotten married. Unexpectedly, I think this has caused a lot of strange tension in my family. My dad seems to have only just realized that his kids have grown up and no longer depend on him; he now becomes upset when we make decisions without him or spend time with our in-laws, even though these things haven't bothered him before. While I've gotten closer with my little brother and his fiancé, and my older brothers seems to have bonded more, there's now a gulf between the pairs. I'm working toward reconnecting all of us, but it's hard to talk about something like families drifting apart. I've made plans to get to know all of my sisters-in-law better, and that feels like a great first step.
There have been major shifts in my family dynamics, evident at my half sister’s wedding where we all genuinely enjoyed one another’s company. This followed an explosive time the last time we were together at the holidays when there was a family pile on towards me because I don’t quite fit in. Subsequently a major family secret came out between myself, my father & my step mother that I didn’t entirely realize was secret. I think this happened because we were all finally ready, but I’m not sure what the affect will be. I feel really proud of myself for staying with the trouble here. I feel confident in the work I’ve done and am doing my best to trust everyone else.
I don’t think there were major milestones, just major events. Larry’s bypasses, losing Helen, Judah being “not invited” to return to 2 different Hebrew Day schools, Izzy dealing with POTS. I had to possibly face having thyroid cancer. Some of these events had positive outcomes. After Larry’s surgery, we both put our energy into becoming stronger, healthier. This led us to be able to enjoy our Canyonlands trip- we were mostly able to keep up with the hiking, etc. Helen’s death (and Marcy’s as well) made us appreciate having each other so much more. Watching Josh and Elana deal with the problems their children faced made me feel so proud of how they handled themselves and the kids. Waiting for the biopsy results from my thyroid tests showed me how far I have come with my hypochondria and panic disorder. I was able to face the possibility with calmness and clearheaded thoughts. I guess I am a silver lining kind of person.
This past year we recognized 10 years since our house fire. 🔥 While much has changed over 10 years, I still hold onto a life that existed before the fire. After so many years now, we are finally seeking to participate and experience life without much thought of the past traumas. My hope is that we can continue to move forward and thrive.
A major milestone is that Soraja graduated high school and is now in medical school. I wish I’d done something to make the event more special, like at least sending her a card. Also, Jeremy’s children turned 13! This has made me realize how quickly kids grow. I remember when Soraja and Nadja would compete to hold my hand. Now the relationship is so different. It makes me really want to nurture my relationships with Anissa and Hafiz.
One major change is that our older son left Los Angeles, moved back across the country, and returned to live near us. We helped him find an apartment, move in, and get adjusted. It is wonderful to have him nearer, and to be able to see him on a more regular basis. However, we continue to have significant worries about him and his future.
Daughter got a wonderful job after college. It's given me such a sense of nachas and happiness for her as she blossoms as an adult.
My son, with whom I live, contracted covid after flying across the country to take my grandson home after summer vacation. I caught covid from him. After four years of being extra cautious, we were both hit with it. Mine showed up three days after his. We both tested negative two weeks later, but we're still battling the after-effects. Mine are worse than his, but then I'm 34 years older than he is. I have memory problems, lack of concentration, and some lethargy. For the first time in my life, I am using a calculator on a regular basis. I am very upset. I'd be even more upset if I could muster up the energy to give a damn.
My husband formally retired, early, after two years of pretending not to. I was a little blind-sided, initially, because it wasn't the plan, and I don't feel like we were adequately prepared, financially or strategically. I'm still working, for modest pay, at a job with no benefits. There are many things we needed to have done--house repairs, medical care for me, making some semblance of a budget--that just won't happen. I hope that nothing terrible is on the horizon, because we won't be able to meet the challenge, financially.
My daughter-in-law received the British Ecological Society's Founder's Award in December. My wife, son, and I were in Belfast to witness the presentation. The event made me quite proud of my D-I-L and reassured me that the next generation of ecology researchers will do wonderful work.
Mom's continued decline seems to be the milestone that keeps on milestoning. What is the most compassionate way to react for her, for Dad? Last summer, Julie got very angry at me in front of Daniel (and the kids? probably not) for diagnosing and analyzing every turn of events with Mom. While M&D have autonomy, which my sister insists upon, I think my mom has limited cognitive ability to change as the situation does, and Dad has limited emotional ability to plan for what is coming. Mom got a UTI this week and for some reason that feels like shift in the status quo enough to encourage Dad to get a plan in place for when her being alone for days at a time is no longer sustainable. He doesn't seem to want to talk about Mom and her decline and how sad it is for him and how annoying and difficult it is on a day-to-day basis, taking over more responsibilities as she insists that she's still capable. There have been lots of happy moments for me, too, with Mom and her funny quips, or just spending time with her when she lets help come in. And I'm grateful for believing that at long last, she cannot help being so mean, so it reduces some of my anger at her.
There was none, thankfully. I don't know what we would have done if there was. We each inched forward as best as we could. When overwhelmed by sadness, there were the two little ones to watch laugh and play and grow into people. Thank G*d for children. But then my friend's youngest stepson was murdered in Israel, the six hostages were executed, and it seemed there was another bottom floor of sadness we didn't even know we could reach.
This question is hard for me because I am a family of 1. Well, two counting my amazing German Shepherd dog. She is my companion. Our milestone was training for my half marathon and she ran so well with me. The last run she did with me before the race that she could join me on was a 10 mile more than 2 hour run. And she did that!!! I continue to run with her. And she is my best cheerleader. I wish to lover her more out loud!!
Meyer made a mistake, a normal mistake for a 14 year old and the reaction was out of control and abusive. thanks to the love he got from parents and grandparents, he got thru the trauma and pain. It was both devastating for me personally but a time for me to step up and make sure he understood and could handle the setback. I talked to him daily for weeks just to help him and that helped me. I felt like my value was in full use.
This year’s big family milestone has been the decision to no longer homeschool my daughter. The transition is ongoing and harder than either of us expected, but I feel confident that this big change is going to work out for her and for me. I actually feel like I will be able to step back into a on-call supportive role for her schooling, which will open up time and mental space for finding my way back to being a functioning adult again.
When my brother and sister got married, it was an opportunity to bring our family closer together. My dad’s been incredibly supportive me and Linden. Same with my brother and sister and godparents. Her parents and family are like a dream come true. I guess the family that I’ve always wanted, I have an excuse to root for the Longhorns, we all get to celebrate the good decisions that let us to each other! We get to show how awesome God is in the process!
Same answer as the first two! IVF finally worked on round three. It has made our lives much better, even as we acknowledge that this wasn't the age difference we planned on and we wait to meet the human growing inside me.
There was no major milestone that happened with my family this past year. To be honest we really don't speak to each other very much. So I really have not heard anything.
It is about to happen. In 24 days time my mother will turn 102. I can see how difficult being that old is. A dislocated knee. Bad constipation. Both very painful at times. I am grateful that I still have her in my life and that I can reassure her and make her laugh but wonder what is best for her.
I told my parents I was thinking about getting married. I have come to regret that decision.
My daughter became a teen, officially! She is so precocious and ahead of her years that it felt like she had been a teen already for a while.
The massacre on October 7th and the current US election have caused great angst. Feeling helpless with the war on Israel and the fear of DT being elected and his constant hateful rhetoric has created such pain.
We went on our first cruise since before Covid. It was a spectacular experience as we visited places we will be unlikely to see again. We made good friends on board as well. The cruise reminded me of the breadth and beauty of the world. The post OA me appreciates things very differently, especially as I managed my food and went to meetings.
My wife and my 40th wedding anniversary. It hasn't always been an easy ride. Sometimes mayhem ensued for chaos. But we're still together and love each other. Two boys who are successful in their own right with families of there own. And 9 grandchildren 6 from one son and 3 from the other.
In August we euthanized our dog. We had only had him for just over a year. He became terminally ill—we don’t know the cause—and was losing the use of his legs. It was a neurological disorder, similar to what my mom had. Seeing him go, and navigating that grief, and how it was also wrapped up in the feelings of grief about my mom, was big. And doesn’t feel fair that we only had him for such a short time.
My aunt passed away, the eldest one. She hid how poorly she was doing so it kind of came as a shock to all of us. I'm glad it get the family together but sad that it took such circumstances to do so.
Well, the first grandchild (on both sides!) is almost here! And it's affecting me because I'm the one growing them! Other than that, I also turned 30, I don't feel particularly affected by that other than the fact I'm still working through a lot of wonderful experiences that were given as gifts.
Is it a milestone to really, really see the parents age? To see them less able in the house etc?
Birth of Jack. I wish I had children.
The milestone for me is one year anniversary of Joe's passing on May 30, 2023. Mon came out from Vermont and we camped at Sol Duc for 2 nights with Ethan and Mary. When she offered to do either that or come for my birthday in January, I randomly picked the anniversary. I am glad I did, it would have been really really hard without her with me, the only person I know who loved Joe like I did... we can laugh and cry together, reminisce and be glad for his presence in our lives. The milestone has affected me in that it was the agreed-upon (and wise) pause date for any big decisions such as moving. Now it has come and gone. Now I look around. I will move.
Nothing major but nice connection with brother and niece.
We went to Europe for the first time. Traveling is wonderful, and something I want to do more often. We saw the Anne Frank house and the energy felt dead. Not like death was there, but a literal emptiness of life – like it had been commodified to the point of removing the essence of Anne’s spirit. I imagine her discontent with the state of Israel, as well.
This past year my brother and sister-in-law had my niece, Daniella. This being my second "nibling" (along with my nephew Judah) I am equally excited and scared about the future. I love my brother and I love my nephew but my sister-in-law is tough to love sometimes. I have been hopeful that these siblings would bring our family closer together but that hasn't really materialized yet and I wonder if it ever will. I am still going to do my best to be a positive influence in their lives and hope for the best but I'm still scared.
Nothing matters without my daughter.
Major milestones: I finally got Covid. I'm stunned that it took so long (not that I was licking doorknobs and trying to get it). Also, my daughter started high school, and is suddenly able to get herself up and ready in the morning without adult assistance. How is it that I only have 4 more years with her in my house?!?
I honestly feel like I struggle a bit with this question each year. Why can't I think of a milestone? Did we actually have any milestones? My husband turned 60 this past year. That's his milestone, not mine, but is it ours? Our kids are grown and haven't really had big milestone events happen to them. But we've traveled this past year, with big trips to the Pac NW and also to San Fransisco, and I think that we've started traveling a bit further than staying on the east coast for the first time since the pandemic does feel a bit like a milestone, or big moment. And I think seeing sights that we've only seen in movies or heard about in person was exciting and even awe inspiring in some instances.
My child turned 21 and I felt pride that they are doing well, working and starting to pay for some of their own expenses. I got out some home videos from when Roman was a toddler, thinking back on all the ways I worried and stressed about them and all the pride and joy they brought me over the years.
My brother got married - hard to believe he got it over the finish line with all the shit going on in his life, but I hope they are happy for a long time. I offered to take care of my parents - they said no.
On October 8, almost a year ago, our daughter adopted a big, beautiful Malamute who came up from Texas. He refused to walk up four flights of stairs to her apartment, so we told her to bring him here until she could coax him up. She hired a trainer, and he still refused. She moved and there was only one flight, but again, he refused. The soon to be milestone is that he has been with us for a year. His name is Jack,and I immediately thought to myself and out loud that he would be a fine therapy dog. Yes and No! He had to learn some basic etiquette and to not try and run away. He has been successful in so many ways, and has brought so much joy to us. The hospital and Mental Health Community Center are crazy about him and don’t even require him to take his therapy dog test. I worried about this for months, but am fine with it now, as he is good with people. He doesn’t like to visit infusion patients, so that is the only problem,which just means we can find another unit which he does like. Yesterday he visited the Psychiatric ward and there was a thirty five year old woman slumped in a wheelchair. I thought she was a stroke victim, but when she was fifteen, had a brain occlusion that a surgeon botched and she no longer wants to live. She did not want to pet Jack but before we left, he went up to her chair and put his head down so she could easily reach him. Sadly, she did not, but it was an act of compassion on his part.
My father died and my daughter got married. Sadness and joy all in the same year. A lot of emotional ups and downs
We celebrated a cousin's wedding, and two b-mitzvahs this year, including that of my sister. It was hard at times to have these joyous celebrations without my grandmother. It would have brought her so much happiness to be there, and I think we all felt the lack. At the same time, maybe it is exactly that lack that emphasizes the sweetness, the joy. There is always going to be lack in life, whether because of grief, wanting, or otherwise; it is what makes life simultaneously difficult and worth living.
Learning that Anna is starting to move forward is so encouraging to me! Learning that Neene and Wayne just now are moving. Our Disney vacation was the best! It was our very first, full family trip and it really was perfect. I stayed in my hula hoop and when I strayed, I often called myself out first. I asked, not told. And the kids see that I am working my program. I am grateful that my relationship with my kids is this good. And while I am working on it, I see how other parents are all over their kids and they wonder why the kids hate it. And really, the catalyst is my sponsor and my program.
My granddaughter's college graduation marks a big change in our family, a step toward independence and more life changes for her. The work world she enters is very different than the one I began more than 50 years ago, but the political climate, which permeated my career, is very similar. If Kamala Harris does not become President, I am not sure what the future will hold for my granddaughter, or for any of us.
Marshall graduated. So freaking proud of him. He was housed and employed through August and now is home. I have a 23-year-old man living in my house. It's a bit strange. We're finding our way. He's looking for work and is currently volunteering at the Museum of Natural History, although he'd prefer to get paid. It's a foot in the door.
Our youngest left home for college. It has made me more sad than I had expected. I want them to fly. Leaving the nest is the goal. However, it is making me evaluate how much space my role of parent takes up in my life. It is time to dig deeper into who I am separate from my role in my family.
My eldest is applying to college. It's been exciting and stressful, joyous and scary. I have been deeply involved (some might say too involved). I feel so lucky that she's allowed me into this process so fully. I'm getting to know her in new ways, seeing the woman that she's growing into. We've spent so much time together talking about what matters to her, who she is and who she wants to be. I'm so proud of her and grateful for this time.
We are grieving the loss of our best friend couple who recently broke up. My brother also separated from his wife and my dad separated from his partner. It feels like an epidemic. It is sad and destabilizing. But it also makes me focus on my own relationship and investing in keeping it strong.
We had a cancer scare with my wife and our daughter this past year, but thankfully both are fine. It affected me profoundly because I can’t imagine my life without both of them.
This summer I spent a lot of time with family, grew to prioritize it more, and saw the difference of hopeful older people vs curmudgeonly older people. I know which I wanna be.
I took a trip to Boston with my dad and little sister. We ran a 5K together as a family. My time wasn’t phenomenal, but I also haven’t had to run anything since middle school P.E. It meant a lot to me that I competed it and did it alongside my family.
A granddaughter is diagnosed as autistic, as we had anticipated. This will have a lifelong impact for us and our daughter, her hubby, and the other OK daughter. My wife and I need to learn how to best adapt to help Ellie cope and thrive.
Everyone appears to be content! Regular family lunches. Keeping in touch!
I got a new job two weeks ago! I hadn't worked since December 2012. It's really nice to be working again. I am still just getting used to it so I can't exactly say how I have been affected wholly. But I know I feel like I have more value when I work. I also know I probably shouldn't feel that way, but it is what it is. We haven't figured out all the scheduling stuff with Orion yet, but we'll get there. I mean, it's also been the high holy days so I am exhausted between starting to work again and that. I only went to night service and morning service on the first day but I worked too so I am so grateful for this Shabbat, I am going to rest so hard today.
I went through a round of egg freezing. The experience has made me hopeful about the future, proud of what my body can do, grateful for how everything has unfolded up to this point. My mother was also diagnosed with Parkinson’s and one of my dad’s sisters—with whom he was estranged and with whom I never had contact— died. Since my mom’s diagnosis, I have done more caretaking and also have seen myself more often as the “adult” in my family. My strengths and limitations have become clearer to me, as has my family’s dysfunction, and I ache for all of us. Since the death of my dad’s sister, I have gotten to know a cousin, and that has helped me feel less alone and more like a part of something.
Mum and Dad left South Hill after 32 years in December 2023. It was huge ., so stressful. Thankfully, Dympna was there and stayed for three weeks without break, just leaving on Christmas Eve to go home and sleep through Christmas Day with Freddy by her side. Gwen and Bernard hosted Christmas for Mum, Dad and Margaret. We all met fur champagne there on Christmas morning. Anita, Grace, Cecelia had Christmas here with mark and I . Mum and Dad have settled into the apartment now and Dad really loves it, his health isn't great and Mum's dementia is progressing. She started on an antidepressant recently and it is helping . We had an excellent management meeting on Thursday with Thomas, Dad , Gwen and I. Dad loves work and his instincts are spot on still, his memory is failing a bit though, hopefully it's nothing sinister.
I’ve been able to speak up for myself and started setting boundaries with my family. I stopped being a part of keeping secrets and have asked for my personal space and privacy to be respected. I’ve also been able to let go of resentments and take responsibility for my part in whatever story I tell myself.
My granddaughter was born. Second grandchild. She and i get along nice.
The most major family milestones would be that we completed our first year in New York, and that we finally went from dream to reality on buying an investment property. I see so much shift in Jonathan, going into a second year, with so many more knowns, and I'm sure there are equal shifts in me. It feels like I finally have the "ay of the land" and can maybe do a thing or two about maximizing resources and getting things to roll out pleasingly. There's some resistance to that: schedules are hard. I have to be really present with "what is worth it" and what isn't -- I'm struggling with that in regards to ABB Nutcracker right now. What experience do I want? The realities of what is possible are different than what the dream says. With the house it feels too early to tell -- will this be a great decision we made, years down the line? Will it add good things to our lives? So far it's been a lot of work, although already it had some immediate benefit in making a gathering place for Jan's funeral. What feels most powerful is simply "having a home in Colorado" again -- even if I can't really go there. Now we have to make that dream come through. We need to push through and build more units to really see the value in the land, plus to make a place there that is nicer to be in than that house (which is fine but not great). Other family milestones: Mattie's graduation from beauty school. Morgan's full licensure as a therapist. The kids are entering the world of "full adulthood" -- Mattie is also 21 now! It feels like "something that already happened" but also good to officially be in that era. Am I still "too young" to have adult children? I'll always be "too young" for the kids that I have, I guess. But maybe it will stop feeling so obvious at some point.
We went through a year without my grandmother. It seems like it took almost a year to start to feel real.
We haven't had any major milestones, I'd say everything has been pretty status quo. I did just move out so that's been a big change. It may have impacted my mom more than anyone in a bigger way. It's impacted me as I've needed to learn how to live alone again and take care of myself appropriately. I'm grateful for the amount of time my parents allowed me to stay with them and the care I was able to receive from them. I think it's big for all of us that I am no longer in the house. My nana being sick has put a strain on relationships, but she is still healthy and doing well.
As mentioned elsewhere, my brother's death by suicide. 2024 did indeed say "hold my beer" to 2023.
Shmu and Kelsie got married! Mazal Tov! Congratulations! So happy for them!
Doing ayhuasca, esp after a trip home where my mom was sick almost the entire time and looking absolutely frail. It made me reassess our relationship and have a lot more compassion for her. Now I try to message her daily.
My daughter learned to ride a bike on paths and roads. There is much freedom (and definitely some fear on my part.)
Whew! I already discussed my grandmother’s death, which has affected me by just making my think of my ties to my family, and how I understand them beyond just my own lens (resentment towards my Grandma for her perspective on my eating habits—she is so much more!). My sister also got a girlfriend, and has been much more successful at her new school. This has led me to connect with her more, but also understand our shared perspective. My cousin Alexis also had twins, and my cousin Djamika is due. I am feeling older, and am growing up, filling my shoes as an adult. Exciting, scary, yes!
Both my son and I started graduate school. I never in my life that I could get into graduate school. In fact I never even tried, I'm so sure that I cannot do well on the GRE. I thought, I'm lucky I managed to get into college and graduate, I'm not going to take my chances on graduate school. But here's the thing: back then, when I was young, I didn't realize how smart it was. I believed a lot of what other people said about me. As the years went on, questioned that, I got stronger. And finally I thought by golly, come hook or come crook, I'm getting into graduate school. And I did! And I love it! And it's fun that my son and I are doing it at the same time.
My oldest son has started a very prestigious, and demanding job in a university. I am so proud of how he worked to obtain the job and how he is learning on the fly how to manage expectations of his students and his mentor. I am also worried about the stress and pressure he is under.
The major milestone was our surviving a major car crash. It has impacted every part of my life. I am more grateful for every day I have and have dedicated myself more to Tikkun Olam.
Mums house going on the market to sell. It has caused a lot of stress and anxiety for a number of reasons, as my mum has been hounded by multiple parties about this so she’s stressed. We may end up homeless so that’s a huge worry for us and the stress of trying to sort that when there is no definitive timeline at the moment is causing a lot of anxiety, which has made me ill on a number of occasions
I visited a large part of my extended family around California - family members that I've never met before. I got to see how big my family was, and I learned a little bit of the value of unconditional love that comes from family - even ones you've just met for the first time. It's a reliable familiarity that I have yet to experience anywhere else.
Donette died August 29, 2024. It still doesn't seem real. David Pecou, Susie's son died of an overdose. This is something she'll never get over and it makes me wonder why it was him and not Wayne. At the same time makes me feel so bad for Susie and Tommy and the girls, and it makes me thankful that it was not Wayne. Mike and Monica just moved to the other side of West Monroe which is about an hour drive from here. Although I never saw him or heard from him other than on Facebook, this has broken my heart. Now I'm left in Bastrop all alone except for Randy and Aunt Bernice. Wine and Angie's marriage has deteriorated even further and I think his drug use has gotten worse and it absolutely breaks my heart.
Two: my son achieved one year of sobriety. This is huge. I find that an enormous part of my psyche and attention and emotional life has been freed up as I see him become stronger and happier. And I retired. On July 1. I am still coming to grips with that, but I feel I am starting to feel the beauty and blessing of it.
My mother died unexpectedly. Our whole family came together supported one another and are providing a safe environment to grieve.
Last year I wrote about how my brother-in-law had to have his small intestine removed and be on TPN or total parateneial nutrition. He was doing well, but a couple months ago he developed sepsis that settled in his spine, and he had to have part of his spine removed. He is doing well again, but it is scary to think how easily he could get an infection in spite of taking the utmost, sanitary precautions. I feel bad for him and my sister who have travel restrictions because of this. I hope my brother-in-law remains healthy with a long life expectancy. Life is so uncertain in big and small ways.
Literally nothing happened with my family this past year because I have so little family. They are all distant and we are not close. I hate this question.
My sister moved to London. This was a big deal because it reduced a lot of the tension between my mum and my sister (and in fact the rest of the family), and also meant my sister was less stressed! I think it also made moving overseas seem less scary.
My dad started to faint. He thought it was his heart but it's his anxiety. My parents world is getting smaller and the clock is ticking. They're in good spirits and nice to me so all good. I saw them last summer in Amsterdam and I'm quite proud to see them mingling with my diverse bunch of friends. They're cool and they made me the independent feminist I am today.
My wife, born a Canadian, finally got her US citizenship after 20+ years of marriage. It was partly because my brother, John's wife was getting hers and something competitive kicked in. In the short term it's had no impact on us. But now we don't need to worry about her renewing her residency every 5-10 years. And, she gets to vote!
My husband lost his job in March. At first it was scary, but he was already thinking of leaving. It was 6 months before he found another job, but in that time our marriage benefitted from not having the stress from work. His new job only lasted two weeks, but in the time off, he learned that it is okay to stand up for yourself and set boundaries with employers.
Selling the Jackson Lake 60 acres to the land trust and buying the Owl’s Nest (Seattle townhouse) feels significant. I was able to honor my mom and the Barkas family by preserving that property and invest and a place that will be home in Seattle. Asher graduating from high school and Emmit transferring to Yeshiva University also feel significant. I think realizing that Rutgers wasn’t a good fit for Asher and shifting him into a GAP year is also a major milestone for so many reasons. I wonder where Asher will be going to college a year from now and I pray he is healthy of mind, heart, soul and body.
My brother turned 40 this year it made me think that I got to get a better job and. Hurry up so I'm not 40 before I move out.
I became a teacher at the Camphill Academy as noted above. This has re-connected me with the Kimberton Hills Community in a significant way. My relationships with Diedra, Becky, Martha, Ava and others have all deepened. And in teaching/facilitating the study of Occult Science and now Knowledge of Higher Worlds, I, myself, am re-committing myself to the spiritual path that I feel so deeply resonant with.
My brother and his girlfriend are hitting 4 years on 12.12. He's giving her 2 promise rings, she wants a "set" where she can wear a same/similar band to him pre-engagement. It's really cute; I love their love for each other. I'm not totally affected per se, but I'm happy. I'm proud of him for being so pure and good - and I'm excited to welcome her to the family. (She's always been "family" since we learned they'd been dating - around the 2 yr mark.) I'm apprehensive/scared, to "lose" this, or for "things to change," but ...that's anxiety and my own personal demons.
Damn, I guess my little menty B. It wasn’t so little. But I guess that was a milestone in my journey. If we consider milestone and rock bottom the same? It affected me deeply. Still affects me and probably in some ways always will. Although radical acceptance seems to be a popular topic, currently. Will be interesting to read this in a year and see where I am with that…. This was a scary and difficult time in my life. This a mental breakdown and an exodus for treatment began. I am still in the middle of treatment as I write this. Hopefully healing and learning how to mitigate my mental health challenges.
Ilana and Dan got married in June, and Ellie, Hilary and I got to enjoy big roles. This felt like the event and attention from extended family and friends that Hilary and I missed in part by having a small wedding. I felt proud for delivering a thoughtful and well rehearsed speech.
My youngest did a semester abroad in Mexico - I visited her, we had candid convos, I came home, and made a major decision - no regrets - no looking back!
My partner and I clubbed together to buy the house next door, to rent it out. I think it's a sign of the stability and maturity of our relationship -- I don't think I would have agreed to this 5 years ago.
I got married! Dana and I celebrated our wedding by a beautiful forest under the chuppah I made with poles papa and mama cut from fallen trees, with our dear friends all around. I want to remember - Cait's beautiful voice welcoming us, Dana's blue eyes gazing into mine, the cool smell of the breeze, our friends and families giving us blessings, the smell of the havdalah spices and the joy as we walked off together into the rest of our lives.
I discovered that despite some ways my partner does not understand me, she cares for me and values me so much. It's still uncertain, but maybe we will stay together. Along the way I discovered that she's willing to have these difficult conversations with me without being unfair or judgemental.
My husband’s mother died. And it made me realize - to quote Shawshank - that I really do have to “get busy living”. The people we used to view as the “adults” are now “the old folx”, meaning that they can longer be our connectors and facilitators. We have to do that for the next generation now.
Ma belle mère est venue passer 5 jours avec nous elle a été odieuse ! j'ai pris sur moi, ça nous a fédéré ente nous
Living through the worst massacre of Jews since the holocaust. A year of sirens and bomb shelter and hate from the world. It has made me angry, frustrated, confused and depressed. Not understanding how the media could be so biased and realising that Jews are on their own.
A major milestone is a significant event or achievement that marks a key moment in a person's life, a project, or a development: I cannot think of any, unless you consider just surviving the year a major milestone. I made it. and for that I am grateful. There is a new dawn ahead of me.
Being the youngest child, I feel like I need to be near my parents more, they are getting older and a bit more frail. I feel like I need to step up. But I also need to look after myself.
I had a falling-out with a close friend who had been in our COVID bubble. It was traumatic in the extreme — I felt betrayed — and I don’t think it’s possible to go back to the way things were.
Sammy graduated from college and moved home. He seems to like having people around. The smell of the cannabis is a problem. We are working on it!
My sister announcing her pregnancy. We are all excited for new life that will be coming to our family.
I guess there wasn't one milestone, but it was a series of milestones. This past year was the first of many family events without Grandma B. Every time a holiday came up, a family event, camping, there was a reminder that it was the first one that Grandma wouldn't be at. There was a sadness, a dread sometimes, even though there was still laughter and fun times.
My children both left LA and I feel really grateful about relocating to Ghent.I feel freer
9/21/24 our youngest son William had his bar mitzvah. We worked on it very seriously for 4 months, and worked on it somewhat for considerably longer than that. We still have some cleanup to do, but after we send our our last thank you notes and pictures and such, we will be on the other side of having little kids. Our boys prefer to be with friends than us, and are gone most of the time. By April of 2025 - 6 months - we will be mostly focusing on us for the first time in 17 years. What will that be like? We have to create that new reality for ourselves. Also: Kenny sold ActionFace and is available for the family far more hours.
I don't feel there were major milestones this year. It was kind of a flat year with some up moments and some down moments. I guess it's good to not always have major changes going on and there was still good things to look back on.
Russell turned 80 Daniel one year anniversary of his death It hasn’t affected me at all
This one I'll hand to mothering/my kids and will do it as a follow up to last year, when I was anticipating: This was my first year of empty nest. I can't say that I mourned too much . . . I think because a) I got extra time with my boys because of Covid and community college, b) it felt like the right time for them to strike out into the world, c) it was a little relief to not have their care (and clean up) on my hands, and d) I love seeing them doing life, having adventures, learning things. I do achingly miss them at times, but then I do still get to see them. My younger is at Western, a college in the north of my state and my alma mater (even living in a big house with his friends that is across the street from my friend Rachel's house in college, where I spent much of my senior year), so not so far, and my elder, who is living and going to school in Hawaii, came home for three weeks in August, is coming home for xmas (thanks to my Alaska miles), and is getting a visit from his mamma and his godmamma in February. There was a moment this summer when my younger was on an adventure in Europe, having summer quarter in Barcelona and then trying to travel across the EU to Amsterdam, and my elder was at home on Oahu. I took a Google Maps screen shot of our three avatars . . . all so bloody far away from each other on the globe. It felt lonely, and exciting, and almost surreal. I'm proud of them, worried about them. Because of social media, texting, phone tracking, facetime, etc. it's a different world for parents than it was for mine, who really had no clue where I was or what I was doing most of the time. Is this better? Less healthy? I like getting memes or reels, seeing their lives as shared, their art, their friends' pictures. I'll take it, even if it feeds my anxiety and attachment.
Milestones: daughter graduated college, son in college. empty-nester (free bird) has affected my family because my husband and I can travel more, I can do things independently more, visit friends/family. I am trying to discover the next phases of our lives together.
Phil turned 75 this year. Instead of one blow out we had several celebrations with daughters and friends. He is doing great for his age, but 75 is still heading for 80, and he is certainly slowing down. If I want to go on outdoor adventures, I had better plan them separately. Instead, I seem to be mostly slowing down beside him.
It actually hasn’t been a milestone year - but my in laws moved from Florida here. That is really special, for all kinds of reasons. The extra help is great. Even more, they aren’t going to be around too much longer. Having them close is fantastic.
I feel like every birthday of our son is a major milestone of another year of keeping a human alive. Our son turned 8 years old this year, and it's a delightful age. He's more independent and also loves spending time together as a family. My heart melts for him.
This was a problem with my health that started by my getting dehydrated on a very hot day. Since then, I have been plagued by irregular heartbeats and am on a drug I don't want to be on. This has made me feel irritated and frightened.
My brother and his Chinese wife finally worked out their visa situation so they could live in the US together. It took four years of work and I missed seeing my brother all that time, even if we had zoom calls regularly. I am really glad that I will be able to see my brother and his new wife at the end of this month!
We (finally) had Chucks unveiling. 2 years to the date of his yahrzeit. My family really supported me through the whole thing. This was a very hard thing for me to plan, think about, and go through with. I was pleased with the way that it went. Truly. And i feel like I did that!
Lucy started high school. Henry started his senior year and is applying to college. A bit more stress in the house. Some new routines. Hard to know as a parent whether you are doing things right or not.
Our minipin dog, has been battling perianal carcinoma bravely. 3 surgeries, including amputation of his tail and 12 rounds of radiation therapy. It was difficult and expensive but we got through it together. We are stronger for it.
Put me in assisted living with lower food standards than I am accustomed to
Zadie! Charlie has flourished as a big sis, taking on more responsibilities and independence. And Philippe and I have been really enjoying this go round; we make a great team. Zadie’s taught us all the best of who we can be individually and together.
There were two weddings this year in our chosen families. We felt so loved and included... sitting in the front row, being part of pictures, big I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! When we left. The part of me that would have said "wish my genetic family was this nice to me!" is getting smaller and smaller. It was/is so hard for me to get rid of the feeling of being misunderstood or mistreated, and if I could just go back and explain it to them, they'd understand. And that's never been true. So SUCCESS I'm a little closer to the real world this year.
I lost my mother this past year... I am not sure that's the kind of milestone we are looking for, but it has significantly affected my outlook on life and my own mortality. Of course I know that life is finite, but this event really made this fact crystal clear. An entire life gone, just like that...
My decision to retire next year and the death of my brother. The two together feel like the dynamic of my relationship with my family shifted. I am looking ahead to what's next after leaving this work and letting go of the work of caring for and worrying about my brother. It makes space for me to to consider who I am and what I want just for myself. What will give me joy? What will help me find meaning?
Zak and Lyla expanded their use of Instagram and Jared came by to see me and that led to me feeling closer to them because I see some of the things they are doing everyday.
Oh god, I already said moving house for question 1! Oh well. Moving house. It was a milestone. Iris is now walking to school with her friends. I am giving her quality time in the evenings after the others are in bed. Hopefully her life is improved.
One night, when I was sick and husband was out of town, the kids (age 5 and 7) almost completely independently made themselves dinner and put themselves to bed. I put out ingredients for taco bar, which had already been chopped and cooked, then got back into bed myself. The kids made their own burritos, poured their own drinks, and cleaned their own dishes. Then they helped each other shower, brush teeth, and put on PJs. Then I read them a board book from my bed, then they tucked themselves in. It felt like both a total win as a parent of responsible kids and shirking my own responsibilities. We're moving toward more and more independence. I continue to be challenged to let them make their own decisions and experience the consequences themselves. I'm working on it, and they're better when I let go more. It's still hard, though!
So many! My wife completed her first Ironman--with style, has had her latest novel come out w/ two more into her publisher while working on more. Daughter and partner started their nursing program. Son moved to Las Vegas to better position himself in his circus arts career. And Mom has passed her one year mark in her new apartment and continues to be moving happily along. So I, of course, have had to pick myself up from my professional faceplant w/ the contract last school year and the disappointing dead end w/ the island secondary program and start on a new project--creating a youth interpretive naturalist training program on the island.
My dad’s bar closed and now he is home alone. This saddens me. He is all I’ve got and I appreciate this. He’s my memory an I am his. I’d even say he’s my best friend.
Jared died, grief overwhelms us sometimes. Of course Rabbi Pinkwasser our friend and counselor- put things in perspective. But no matter how you rationalize it, losing a son is horrendous especially one who was disabled. After what’s going on in Israel, losing Jared and changes in life in general you learn who your friends are. So many people stepped up - and a few did not. Antisemitism is everywhere though overall perhaps people just live their lives without caring for anyone but themselves. Through it all we feel blessed with a terrific community, family, grandchildren (especially ) and friends. Lesson learned is looking at the world through rose colored glasses makes you miss the red lines in people. Hoping for a year of health and happiness.
Blake graduated from high school and started college this fall at UND in Grand Forks. Empty nesting, AKA bird launching, has been a big adjustment for me. Being alone during the week is strange. Cooking has been simplified some. One less person to please. So far, Blake has been coming home on the weekends. I really love Blake Day. Or should I call it Laundry Day. He's adjusting and Darren and I are adjusting. I worry about my kids a lot. More than I should. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I always have to do a head count. Where's Kaylee? Where's Blake? Where's Darren? I pray for their health, happiness and well-being often.
Wedding of my step-daughter (which I performed). I'm not sure yet how it affected me - I think it has tied me in more firmly to the rest of the family. It's also made my wife even more explicitly anxious for grandchildren.
We moved in with my mother. It has made me so much more aware of the difficulties that come with aging -- most of which are emotional. Staying fit, physically but especially mentally and emotionally, are key to surviving those last years with richness and joy.
My brother-in-law got a huge promotion and my niece graduated from high school. We are really proud of both of them.
Two of my siblings were widowed this year. I remember feeling very exposed when the last family member of my parents’ generation died. It felt like nothing stood between me and death anymore. Not sadness exactly - just a sense of it being our turn to stand in that spot, to get ready for whatever came next. And now the next thing is here. Everyone in my generation of the family is older than me. My siblings have always been my mentors, teachers, and bossed me around. (I at times resented that, but have also relied on them over and over.) This year they are teaching me how to be widowed. I am watching them, loving them, feeling like they are once again showing me how to grow into the next thing…
My mom has been dead for long enough that I miss her differently than I used to and I have a lot of complicated feelings about that.
I watched my sister and her husband lovingly embrace their daughter's bride. This is something I never thought I'd see. A moving display of love and growth.
The only thing I can think of is my Mom's dementia has gotten a lot worse. I'm trying to call her more and get together more. I try to forgive and forget the horrible relationship we had before so I don't have any regrets.
Our 4th grandchild was born, our youngest daughter’s first child; and our middle daughter is currently pregnant with her first child. These things have brought me tremendous happiness!
This has felt like a year of change. My mum turned 91 this year and we have navigated my brother's cancer diagnosis. We have also had to grapple with the possibility that a loved one was not entirely honest with us - something that has upset us and made me personally question my entire identity. Added to that our ongoing efforts to sell our house and - hopefully - buy our own home here and it has been quite stressful. I have learned to live in the moment and try not to absorb too much of the strain.
My health has been sketchy and scary. Arianna's trial was horrific, it blasted me into outer space and I have needed counseling. I have been horrified over and over by senseless acts of callousness, false narrative, arrogance, physical shock. The brutal torture of the girls by Justin and Jessica has sickened me physically and mentally. How can they plead not guilty? Why did God allow this craziness to happen to 6 year olds?? Why so many obstacles, wrong ideas, so much - I don't even know what to call it. Abject refusal to accept blame or responsibility for hateful murder. What was God thinking when the girls were being beaten to death and thrown in a shower of ice? "No kiddos, no mercy from me today. I will allow your bloody death to destroy your family". How can we trust God in the face of purple shredded skin and eyes black from brain hemorrhage?
We're finally coming to grips with the fact that our moms are aging - and we're going to have to be there for them in ways we hadn't necessarily expected.
Started my business
There haven’t been any big milestones. My mom had a couple mini strokes during a couple bad cases of Covid, which worried us, but she seems back to her old self again. We’ve been monitoring several family members in both my wife’s and mine. Lots of health problems this year, but hopefully it’s wake-up calls, not death sentences.
I got close to my niece. It was sweet. She's maybe the only family member who I really relate to. I spent time in NJ, confirming how painful it is to be near my family.
My niece and I have reconnected. While we're closer in age than I am to her mother (my sister) my sister and I have a contentious relationship, so it was not a given that I could or would connect with any member of her family. I take an enormous amount of pleasure out of my relationship with my niece, so this is definitely in the plus column.
My parents stopped going on cruises. My mom just loves to travel and they are getting older so cruises seem to fit pretty well. Plus, it gives my mom a break from having to always entertain my needy father. My dad's health is declining, so when they came back from their last cruise, my mom cancelled their upcoming several month cruise all the way down to the tip of South America. She said that she just can't handle my dad because he acts like a child anymore. I feel badly for her. She is a martyr for sure... but I still feel sad for her well-being. Also, my favorite uncle Ed passed away.
We moved across the country, which was really stressful on me. I held in the stress as much as I could and didn’t cope very well at times.
Holy shit - Scott has had one health thing after another. Milestone? Maybe not, but he had 2 kidney procedures, back surgery and a fucking BRAIN BLEED! It freaked me out! It's fucked him up so much! I took care of him as best I could. I was a pretty great wife. I am trying to get him to see an integrative doctor and or therapist! He has so much trauma! It really will be a milestone if he actually listens to me!
It's hard not to think about Joy's birth for this. It's the most major milestone of my adult life. It made me a mom, it made me love someone with a really big new love. It made me feel proud and connected to humanity in a new way.
My eldest graduated from college and my youngest daughter went off to college. Major milestones which made me so aware of how quickly time passes.
Well…there are two significant milestones that happened for my immediate family in 2024 that come to mind right away: I turned 40, and Mom finally got to retire. As far as turning 40 goes, I do not feel old per se, but I have become increasingly worried that simply because I turned 40, I will have an even more challenging time finding my dream partner in crime now. I know that’s not necessarily true and that age is just a number…but I also know that when I was in my early 20s and 30s, I really had wanted to date someone in the same decade of life as me…so I imagine the opposite is probably true for the ladies too. We’ll see, though. In the meantime, it has been funny and ironic to make new friends via the board game café who are all in their 20s, and they do not seem to look upon me as being some creepy old guy. As far as Mom retiring goes, it has filled me with great joy to see her enjoy living her life the way she wants to live it every day now. I can only hope Michael and I will also be blessed with having the opportunity to retire at some point i our lives too. For me, that seems financially impossible…but we’ll see.
My father retired in June, i visited to celebrate with him and my mom. My brother and his partner joined us as well. We had a nice few days of 'dad fest,' since it was also around his birthday and Father's Day. I welcomed the opportunity to cheer on his new life stage, and i think he was looking forward to it. I hope he kind find amusing ways to fill his days now that such a large part of his life will be open.
I visited with my brother and sister and this is after my mother passed away so we are maintaining our relationships. My brother was just diagnosed with prostate cancer and is having trouble getting approved by insurance for proton treatments.
This year will almost be one year since my mom finished her chemo treatment. It has affected me deeply it has affected how I see life in the bigger picture. Nothing is that serious compared to watching your mother suffer and feel weak.
My husband of 62 years remains in a nursing home and has gone through numerous medical procedures. I have experienced so many emotions. I feel like I am a widow in many ways, yet dealing with demands related to his illness which will only tend to degenerate.
My sister moved in with her bf, whom we all love, and it has been so heartwarming seeing her happy ❤️
More subtlestone than milestone here. I've entered the era where caregiving for parents has given way to caregiving for siblings, and with it, a recasting of relationship. What was the order of things when we were growing up together? What was it when we were caring for our parents? What is it now? It's a chance to revisit the entire universe of filial past, present, and future: messy, liberating, hilarious for right and wrong reasons, and for me with an outsized portion of gratitude. I have been learning from my siblings my entire life, a form of R&D, one might say. I'm feeling less extractive now, seeking to stay in tune, sharing, sometimes for the first time, things I see them learning from.
Our son is now in Kindergarten and the proximity to our house is really nice but we sometimes miss the incredible Preschool he was at and how they incorporated Jewish customs and education into the curriculum.
My son's divorce and the rift between him and his teenaged daughter. If made me realize how fragile family bonds can be and made me want to strenghten them.
My kiddo and their longterm partner held a celebration of their commitment to each other. It wasn't just an event about the two of them, it was a gathering of friends and family that showed their commitment to their community and loved ones as well. It makes me wish I had been more involved in this and other events.
My mother is going to retire this year. This will impact how our family lives and our financial hierarchy will change.
Dad's passing in march. It finally happened and was right for him to go. Brrnice amd ben all came though.....kind of meant something everyone gathered. In terms of impact - ive never experiemced grief properly before...and although ultimately am ok....also am or was clearly not. Its hard to let urself fully feel and process it. I think maybe im still feeling the trauma spikes of it.. But i think im getting better. I miss him though. And can still hear him
Again, there have been no Major Milestones. However, my sister Ellie IS getting married this year, in three weeks, and that is a milestone of sorts for her. I am just happy for her. She deserves the love of a good man, and Jason is that person.
Mila graduated from daycare to Pre-K. This is a big step as she is in more of a classroom setting and with a lot more peers her age. This has been a positive in terms of costs (daycare was out of pocket while Universal Pre-K covers cost for regular school day) and structure for Mila, and it is also a lot closer as far as location is concerned. I miss her Spanish immersion, but overall it is a step in the right direction to preparing her for going to school. I'm also trying to turn it into another positive by synergizing morning workout routine with dropping her off.
With my sister’s passing, there’s a matriarch vacuum in our female-majority family. I’m trying in some ways to fill that space, or at least do what I can to comfort two of her grown daughters, both of whom are in pain. There is also a third, very troubled daughter who recently entered a group home. It’s structured to provide some emotional support. But this is the elephant in the room — we all have so much sadness and regret about her. They live in a different city, but - apart from the third daughter - we email frequently: sharing memories, checking up on one another, posting old photos as we come across them, trying to figure out how to honor my sister at upcoming family get-togethers. There are plenty of frictions in our family but I have renewed respect for its healing powers. Interesting how our roles shuffle around to accommodate the losses, the gains.
These questions this year sure make whatever I enter seem obvious. The sudden death of the love of my life after 35.5 years as of about this fortnight has, uh, yeah, affected me. As mentioned last night at least it was quick, like they say after disasters.
My uncle, father, and brother died. My mom is a widow. My niece lost her dad shortly after her wedding. Big affects on many levels - those of us remaining got closer, we are all grieving in our own ways, and there are a lot of tasks to do when people die that can be time consuming, tedious and just not fun. This makes me long-distance care giver for my mom who will be 90 shortly. I used to have my brother to tag-team, now it is all on me and my husband. It has been a time of mental, physical and spiritual exhaustion but also growth.
When we had a miscarriage it wrecked us more than we anticipated. But when we found out we were pregnant with Tessa the following cycle, there was this tightrope walk of holding onto hope and releasing control into God’s hands each day. And it was good and hard and needed. A reminder that His plans for us are good, better than we can imagine, and our place is to trust. To let Him love us. If we hadn’t been through the heart wrenching loss, our hearts would not have truly expanded to know a deeper love. To have deeper compassion for those who have lost.
My nephew and his wife had their first child. It is lovely to have a baby in the family again and the parents are absolutely besotted which is wonderful to see. I’m looking forward to babysitting.
My dad had surgery to install mesh grafts that keep clots at bay. It affected mr as it’s another in the string of health issues that’s come up in the last year. There’s no peace of mind anymore.
alone
Oct 7th. It made me recognize more than ever, that antisemites see me as part of Israel though I have never been there. So I may just as well consider myself, part of Israel.
As already discussed, my Mom's passing was the largest milestone. If I expanded this to say "the aging of my parents," this could be applied to the slow advance of my Dad's dementia. Yeah, it's sad. But there's much to be grateful for: he's the happiest he's probably ever been in his life, because he's living in the present. I could learn from this.
I got engaged to the love of my life. It’s helped me get more serious about my personal growth. It’s made me consider becoming monogamous. I’m happy.
No major milestones as we aren't at that stage of life. Like last year there are small milestones that are mostly happy ones. Bryan and Caitlyn got married in June. It was a nice gathering in San Diego. Mom gave up her car and also handed over her finances to Steve. She seems to be adjusting well. I took her up to Seattle in July to see Rita. They are both aging and also able to enjoy life. Chris is gradually sliding into retirement. Still taking on work, but there seems to be much less of it. He is still figuring out what he wants in this stage of life. We are in the midst of transforming the old dining room into a casual sitting room. It's a big deal for us to buy furniture, a rug, new shades and a new light fixture. So far it is turning out well and we are proud of ourselves!
Finishing elementary school and moving on to middle school. Overall a change we were all ready for, but we do miss our lovely elementary school... and especially the walk-across-the-street commute!
Eldest moved into an apartment in a different city; second moved into apartment for first time; youngest started college; I live on my own for the first time. Bro-in-law had bypass and is recovering. All our lives are changed. And yet who we are is the same. I am freely and unapologetically me.
Similar to the first question: breastcancer diagnose. Which made a huge impact. My youngest son didn’t really struggle, but my oldest did. He was very scared. And he didn’t always understand why I couldn’t go to every match or recital he had. He was probably the most relieved of all of us that the doctor said everything was gone.
Moving away from home was much easier on me than my folks -- they've depended on me a lot in my life, and when I come home, I can see they expect us to fall into old norms. I've worked hard to disentangle myself from them, and become more independent in ways I've never been able to be before now, and setting boundaries is getting easier but still difficult. It's taking consistent work on my part, especially because they'll never do they work themselves. If I won't take care of me, who will?
My mother in law died and then we separated. We tell the kids tonight. So next year, I'll know how it's affected us. So far, I'm a lot happier, despite the uncertainties ahead.
I no longer have a relationship with my sister. While it is a sad thing, I don’t regret it. I am more at peace without her in my life. I use the energy I formerly expended on trying to incorporate her into my life to learn better how to live around the death of my son, which broke my heart.
My grandfather passed and it definitely affected my family, he was close tot he whole family and definitely made a huge difference in all our lives and he passed Oct 6 and the timing was so so hard I thunk it taught us a lot.
We celebrated our 5th anniversary. We are happy and looking forward to more years.
Julia back home to apply to school. She is moming me now! 9/17 new stage from Chuseok. Home office moved upstairs. Painted and roofed the house! So happy it happened!!! Feel better about house.
I had an 80th birthday and celebrated with family. Everyone came in I felt loved and appreciated. At 80 I decided to pass some family events on to other. Passover Seders will now be spread amongst family members and I’ll be a guest. It was getting to be a lot of work since it meant cooking 3 meals a day for 9 family members for 3 or 4 days. I’m hoping I’ll go from dreading the holiday and feel resentful to enjoying the holiday and appreciating our getting together
We celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary and took an international trip. The wedding anniversary was nice - to celebrate being with the same person for that long is amazing! The trip did cause much anxiety in preparation, but did work out amazingly well and we got to travel with our two wonderful and amazing daughters!
As my granddaughter navigates her second year of life (she turns 2 in 9 days), I am more in touch with the wonders she notices and excitedly shares with me, and more in touch with how generations shift as we age. I feel I am learning more about being "old" and a grandmother and learning more about my evolving relationship with my two adult daughters. Does this count as a milestone? I am also exploring the way in which my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and great aunts and great uncles fade into the past. I am trying to understand what I have held on from them. All in the service of my state of mind and my little, precious granddaughter.
Well, my dad passed away suddenly at the age of 61. This isn't the milestone I wanted for the year. My mom is now grappling with what her life will look like without him. Me and my sisters have lost a major source of support and guidance. I am filled with anxiety and sadness. My priorities were already shifting to prioritize my well-being, family, and friends, but this has sped up that process tenfold. Most days, I'm still not sure how I will go on, but I can recognize that it is starting to get easier. I just hope that the next time I answer this question, I reflect back and see how I have healed over the last year.
A friend’s mum kind of ‘adopted’ me (unofficially). It’s been hard to adjust to someone doing caring things for me without holding it over my head.
We lost our cat and then found her after a week, we are so fortunate to have her
I have not spoken to my sister since June. She is the type that only thinks of herself and is extremely selfish. I have a very hard time relating to her and also my nieces are as selfish as she is. What happened with her? She is a bitch!!! I am so angry and mad at her.
Hannah started 8th grade and is looking forward to high school. It feels very strange to be here already, and I'm thinking about how fast the next 4 years will go. It makes me happy for her and nostalgic all at once.
My youngest daughter started her freshman year of college. All the kids are now out of the house. I am proud of their achievements and I am so proud and grateful that we are in a financial position to pay for their college 100%. They will not have to take out any loans. I did not have that experience and had to pay loans back until I was 35. So these are my glows. I am wistful and a little sad about empty nesting. The house is so quiet. No one requires me anymore. I have to figure out how to reinvent myself. When my kids were young, it was so stressful. I was begging for this time. And now it is here, and I wish that I could roll back the clock.
Max began taking the initiative to to have dinner. He suggested he come over to watch the first Yankees post-season game Sat.
My husband was laid off from his job and was thinking he might just take it as retirement, but then he got a new job. It was a relief that he got a new job, even though it may be a bit short term, because I think he'd be bored without something to do all day besides making art and playing video games.
We are eagerly expecting a 4th grandchild, 3rd granddaughter. in the same year, we lost the last of our parents, Michael’s mom, Jacque. This also marks the last of his family, having already lost his only sibling many years ago. As I write this, the Cantor at Ikar is singing “G-d only knows what I’d be without you”. For us, we are firmly in another (the Senior) generation.
My daughter started college at Bishop’s university. It’s emphasized how alone I feel in my empty nest, and is making me think about getting a housemate and/or renting and traveling or possibly moving elsewhere or dating or who knows…. Lots of thoughts and musings… as I support her through this big transition in her life- and mine.
We bought a house. It is cosy and wonderful, it feels like the perfect embodiment of our family. It appeases me and makes me happy as can be.
My stepdaughter graduated with a Master's degree, which was huge for us both. She's an awesome and driven young woman and I'm proud to have been a big part of her upbringing. On the other hand, the woman I'm in love with movd to the other side of teh country and left a hollow in my life.
My parents entered a nursing home and I have felt really conflicted by this. They are easily the most well seeming people there and young by comparison with most (but not all) of the other residents. My parents are in their early 70s and are mentally capable of independent decision making and living - but their physical condition and lack of money has led them to the home. They lived in a semi-rural area and if they fell, which became more and more frequent, they had to call the local volunteer services to get up. They couldn't get around very well without walkers and my mom won't drive and my dad prefers not to, making it hard to get to the doctor. They ended up in the hospital too frequently and home health did not come frequently enough or provide detailed enough services to help. They needed a live-in and, more to the point, they needed to work towards getting stronger and healthier. Neither I nor my siblings have an extra bedroom or the capacity to have them both move into our houses. I live across the country and my brother couldn't visit often. My sister took on most of the burden, but it was beyond her abilities, even with home health. They qualified for a home through medicaid, which means they will lose their small house—their only asset—and are now treated as dying people rather than people who have, for a very long time, needed medical interventions targeted at rehabilitation. My dad needed a hip replacement. Now he just stays in bed all day at a nursing home and the deterioration sped up dramatically. He's in hospice care now. I feel sad and guilty, because I feel like I should have, could have, needed to have done more to prevent this. They are dying a decade or more before their time and their last years have been crap. But I could not force them to change their lifestyles, to eat better, to take physical therapy seriously and to fight their way back to strength. Nor could I force my husband to move back to Texas to be part of their care. And here we are. I know it's not my fault, but I haven't been a force for good in this equation either, and I haven't sorted out my feelings about that yet.
My eldest child started high school. It has made me feel excited for her and so very proud. I love this phase of parenting and I am genuinely excited about all that lies ahead for her.
So much. Our son had a baby and that is a joy. He is such a loving and caring father and it is a joy to watch him. And Danna is a wonderful grandparent in ways that I can not be (or is not natural for me to be). Moving to NYC - see question 1 has also been a milestone.
My mother’s death is massive. I miss her every day. She would be happy if she knew my brother and I are talking to each other every day. I didn’t think he would have anything to do with me but he does. So that’s been a pleasant surprise. Just goes to show things can turn out so much better than what we fear. But I am sad a lot and miss mom terribly.
We haven’t really had any significant milestones this past year. We have had some hard things happen. My mom is sick with chronic kidney disease and so that has taken a big toll on my immediate family because we’re so used to my parents being well. Seeing my mom, trying to find answers and trying to adjust to a new normal, has been hard on all of us. But it also brought us together to help be there for my parents and to let them know they are not alone and don’t have to do this alone.
Max got a job. He’s working at maker house which was formerly Clay Stufio. He is doing marketing and social media and re-branding. It’s a good place for him to be so that he can pursue his ceramic art as well. Max is living with us and it’s interesting, as he works through his own health challenges and managing stress, etc., and a first real job with responsibility. It’s definitely shifted our lives as we were used to being empty nesters at this point. All this in addition to living through my father‘s Alzheimer’s disease and his slow and painful progression.
My nephew is in the hospital currently for the second time in a month. He is 23 and has Crohn's Disease, which is taking a toll on his body, his mind and his spirits. It's impacting his parents as well. For me it brings up the preciousness of life and not taking it for granted. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us, which reminds me to strive today. It also reminds me to be where I am, whether healthy or ill, struggling or successful. Acknowledge and accept my current state, and the state of others, and take action from there in whatever manner I am capable.
My mom has been reckoning with her age and health since she recovered from Stage 4 cancer, and my brother has been dealing with grown children trying to find their place in the world... this has all really got me confused as I try to reckon with my own attachment style issues. I'm 60. Is it too late to start my life?
Another year when neither Ian or LissaIvy came to family gatherings - makes me sad - hope they both come in the following year
As a single person, this is hard to answer. Is it about my parents? My brother and his family? My friends? My housemates? I don't feel like I really have a family. What I thought was my family was my relationship, and that ended. It felt like I'd finally found this mythical "home" I'd always dreamt of, and now that I know it's possible, it feels even worse to not have it.
Dad moved on with his girlfriend, the first woman he's lived with in 33 years. I still worry that it won't work out, that it will devastate him the way divorce with Mom did. I think that's why he rents the house instead of selling it. To have that safety of "just in case." It saddens me, because it feels like a loss- it feels like I'm not the most important person in his life anymore, whether that was true before, whether it is true now. I try to be proud of him, too. It's a big step, a heavy commitment, and I want to be happy for him. It does show me by example that it is never too late to do big things. 72 is not too old to move on with your girlfriend, even if you've been on your own for 30+ years. He surprised me, and while that was uncomfortable, it was still good to see that he can do that. That when I am 72, I can do big life- changing things too.
My awakening and our leaving the US. It’s been positive and expanding and aligning for us. I’m so proud of my daughters and what great travel buddies they are!
My only aunt passed away. I now have no other family other than my immediate members. It has fostered a wish to get closer to chosen family.
A major milestone would have to be the death of my mother. I am still learning how it affects me / will affect me. But I hope that her death affects me the way Dad's death appears to have affected her. To my eyes, it seemed as if she never lost the connection, that his presence in her life was only positive and endured death. The example(s) that she set for me are now part of my DNA. I believe I will carry them into my old age and that it is she who I will call for when I am on my death bed.
All of my siblings went to Palm Springs (my dad's winter home) at the same time. This hadn't ever happened before. It was so great to enjoy each other's company without the hustle of everyday life. It looks like we will do it this year again and I'm so excited.
Oh boy. My 47-year old sister had her first child. She chose not to tell me about it, and told others not to tell me; and I didn't find out until she was 32 weeks pregnant (when a mutual friend told me). She had told other people, even had a baby shower (held by a dear friend of mine), so it wasn't about secrecy. I don't want to make it all about me, as I'm happy for her; but it highlighted something I'd long suspected: that there is something really broken in my blood family, and at some point I became no longer a part of it. I am working on accepting this.
My partner and I started more actively discussing the living/housing/communal situation we want to work toward and have invited some of our trusted friends into conversation with us on this. It is making me feel more hopeful about the future of our relationship and our community.
I attended my 40th business school reunion in October. I enjoyed it more than the previous reunions I had attended, but I realized that it was probably the last one that I will go to. Coming out of the pandemic, I felt more closely identified with the school and closer to classmates I hadn’t known well previously, but it became clear to me that, now that I am retired, attending reunions is not a high priority for me going forward.
My daughter has better friends than ever before, both from camp and in school. She's coming into her own everyday and it's delightful.
A major milestone was paying our mortgage off last month. It's lifted a huge weight off our shoulders! Another milestone was getting doggy no.2 😍
lost my job/retired == more time at home and less stress. This impacted everything in our lives. And we got two dogs - which also changed our relationships with each other.
My son graduated high school and went off to college and I have no idea if he is just homesick or is truly miserable. It's been about 6 weeks - perhaps he has been coming home too much? Is it a mistake that all the kids have separate rooms? He says he is stuck in classes he doesn't like, and doesn't even know why he is at college since he doesn't know what he wants to do. He sounds depressed. I feel at a loss about what to do, other than let him figure it out. I keep telling him to see a counselor on campus.
I don't know of any major milestones with my family. Which is ideal. I know my mom has had some milestones in her life, and so has my brother and one of my sisters. But their lives are very separate from mine. The biggest one to me is I got to visit my aunt for a long weekend. We went to a concert together but mostly we hung out and worked on sewing projects. It was really nice to just get some time with her.
My partner was without a job for well over a year and started a job in the summer. While its still not necessarily the most fulfilling, having a job has taken stress off our relationship in many ways and increased a feeling of balance that I find helpful.
My retirement was a big deal. I think everyone kind of held their breath as I signed off on it and completed all the transitions
My partner and I have managed to buy a house and are settling in to the new challenges of that together. I feel grateful we are together and that we can figure things out together.
This year, my oldest graduated from college. A small spring that was born tightly wound inside me when Samantha was born has loosened one more notch. I will always worry over the girls, but I am no longer responsible in any way for shaping Samantha. Seeing her in her apartment, talking her through her concerns over grad school, and watching her manage her grandparents with respect have all reassured me that she is an adult that I can respect. It is the answering reassurance to the worried cry I made on her birth, "Oh my God! This person will be at every holiday, every event, for the rest of my life. What if I don't like them?" Well I do.
How many people are not answering October 7th? I worry about my family in Israel every day, and I worry about my friends, and most of all I worry about the continuation of Israel itself.
I guess the major milestone in my family has been my mum’s cancer. It has affected me in my confirmation that I have a family unit, and it’s my brother and sister in law and my niece and dad and mum. It’s made me put them first and spend more time with them, checking in with them, being present. It made me grateful for her, and for all those I love. For a while it made the world a kind of technicolour with the fragile aliveness of it all, and how lucky we are to live it. And now it feels a little more like a marathon, a kind of threat hanging over us. I wonder how long it will be, and how it will be when it happens. I hope we will be ok. I’ve been practicing hearing her voice in my head. On hard days, I ask her what to do, or what wisdom she has for me. She usually just hold my hand and tells me how proud she is, and how whatever I worry about doesn’t matter too much really. And that I am loved.
I got a brother-in-law this year! <3
Sadie entered high school. While on occasion she still talks about feeling depressed I’ve seen a different side of her emerge. It isn’t who she was but has elements of the past while mixing in these new incredible emerging elements that are forming. She is an independent child who expresses herself very creatively through the music she chooses, the outfits she wears, her hair style, what she watches and how she talks. She is so funny and clever. She is determined and doesn’t take shit from people (including her parents some times). She also struggles with making friends and connecting deeply with others. Where does that come from? How can I help this or will it just take time? She still hasn’t revealed what she feels shame about either. I have begun to realize she likely never will and that my job isn’t to find out but to assure her that she has the power inside herself to defeat these invisible demons. This I know for sure.
Well, I turned 65 years old this year. That feels major to me. I've gone from being an older person to a senior citizen. I've had to think about medicare and Social Security and ponder my retirement in a very real and scary way. My fears around being able to manage financially in my retirement have bubbled to the surface, like a boiling kettle.
My mom broke her hip- I stepped into helping and found that she wanted her independence more than help . She was mean and resentful. My father was lost and confused and my brother was so very unaware . The help I gave of setting up services was not appreciated until later . AND I learned to breathe, to let go, and my mom’s life is hers. It learned that I can only do do much and then I have to step back and allow
My wedding would have been this time last year. My nephews still don’t understand what happened to my fiancé even though I’d tell them. My family would have been at my wedding, but then didn’t need to come. My dad’s retirement also had changed my family, given my parents more flexibility and caused them to travel more.
This year we welcomed Hazal and Nico, brother and sister rescue kittens. Steven, Sophie and Tom love the cats. They bring a fresh distraction in the house and entertain us with their antics. It is their 1st birthday today and they brought their first bird to us at breakfast time. I find them slightly annoying as they wake us up at 5:40 demanding unlocking of the cat flap. Food costs around £2 per day and the vet bills another pound. The love the children have for them is priceless. Today Tom brought home a poem which is just perfect: I absolutely love trees and rainy days The fine and nice kind The pouring and down kind The thick and bumpy kind The short and stubby kind The cold and shivery kind The hail kind I do love trees and rainy days From Tom (6)
I am excited to have this opportunity to provide for my family.
A major milestone for my family this past year was my Grandma celebrating her 100th birthday. Given her recent fall and transition to a full-time care facility, we weren’t sure if she would make it to this milestone. It was heartwarming to celebrate this special occasion with our local family. Sadly, she passed away just a few weeks later. While losing her was incredibly difficult for all of us, my grandma remains one of my greatest inspirations. Her strength and resilience continue to guide me in everything I do.
Jim started preschool 5 days a week. He's out of the house from 8-5 ish with before and after care and P has the house/time to himself again. My daily life isn't significantly different, but the household rhythm and mood is. Every day Jim gets bigger and smarter and more of his own person. Even though I miss the babyish things about him, I'm really enjoying getting to know this little guy growing up.
I think the major family milestone is that for the first time ever, I haven't seen my mom in over a year. Because of the war in Ukraine, I cannot easily go back home. On top of that, we often have a difficult relationship with my mom which makes it harder to make long-term plans with her. On one hand, not seeing her for so long makes me sad. Since Covid I started having this fear of losing precious time with her and having very little time left. On the other hand, I know just how bad things always get when we're in the same room, so I'm grateful for this 3000 km distance that's helping me stay sane.
The BIGGEST milestone in MY life was celebrating my BIG 7-0... or as I like to say.. my 7th birthday. Yes, it was a lot more FUN being in my 20's in the 70's than being in my 70's in the 20's..for one thing the MUSIC was a whole lot better! (Although today POT is LEGAL, so that certainly in one way to enjoy today's music!) Still can't seem to wrap my head around the fact I'm a 70 year old grandmother of SIX - just does NOT seem possible. Grandma was MY MOTHER! I look good, feel good, not on any medication - the prescription kind - and STILL married after 4 DECADES - which also doesn't seem real.
My cousin Trudy had baby Madison and my sister got engaged! I'm happy about both of these things. It just makes me feel like I've been standing in one place and everyone else around me keeps moving forward.
We have both retired!! Having fun traveling and getting the house refreshed. I am also working in the Reading Room at least once a week.
The big one was the realization that our child is extremely limited in their being able to function as an adult. We’ve come to the realization that there’s no good reason for hope for change — which is contingent on them first wanting to change. We see no sign of that happening and are now proceeding with our lives accordingly.
Eddie moved to North Carolina. I was heartbroken for a few weeks. I used the emotions meditation to help me feel the grief in small doses. I was also mad-- after all I've done for you, and now you're leaving?!? But I do know that he moved for his mental wellness, not to get away from me. I worry about him, I like to have eyes on him and get hugs. But he seems to be doing well out there and that's all that really matters.
Will not sure this was a milestone as much as it was brought out of necessity. I "retired" from my place of work that I was at for 10 years. However, this was due to medical reasons. Many years ago, I was diagnosed with Wagners and since then I have had 12 infusions of chemotherapy which has help put the disease into remission. But the stress of the job was literally killing me. After discussion this with my dr. and my wife, we made the choice for me to medically retire from that job. It has been hard even to the point where I am thinking of going bac to work just for the fact that the cost of living is astronomical these days, as we all know. I do have a small cushion to fall back on as I am 100% disable from the military so we do have that check, but just recently within the last week my wife's mental health was in decline due to her job and the stressors of her job. Needless to say, we are really feeling the burden of the real world now. So, it's probably time for me to seek work regardless of the strain it has on my health and life span. Wow, some milestone. I am sure things will improve as I refuse to lay back and give up.
I choose as a milestone for my family the fact that my two best friends, that is my sister and my life long buddy, have become grandmothers this year. I had been the only one in this role for almost ten years, and it’s such a great joy to share with them also this adventure.
We went on our first family vacation in like 15+ years. It was so wonderful to spend time with my parents and brother and reminded me of how much I want to continue prioritizing time with them.
Our daughter turned 16, she’s driving. It’s making me reflect on our lives. Things are changing and that is so scary. Change is hard and lonely.
My son starting Kindergarten is definitely the biggest milestone with great impact. I had really hoped this would be a positive experience for him. We have an incredible school and took many actions to prepare him for the transition. Yet, he is really struggling. He is acting poorly, feeling insecure, and lashing out. We are working with the teachers, starting therapy, and doing everything we can think of to support him and he is showing improvement. It is so hard on all of us. He is not fun to be around much of the time. This is happening during a key personal growth time for me as I am learning and experiencing my own neurodiversity and transitioning out of my job. I feel injured and raw, yet hopeful.
One major milestone was my wife retirement from the National Technical Institute for the Deaf (NTID) at the Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT). Her retirement coincided with hip replacement surgery and recovery. Both milestones were positive and successful. For Lisa, the big question is, What's next? Obviously more discretionary time and longer walks! I'm supportive and waiting with interest on the sidelines!
No milestone, just happy to have them all and looking forward to a common holiday in November in Djerba.
Sinking into being grandparents to Violet and to be of service to her parents. At my age, being of service is a nice way of being, rather than wanting to be served.
My first nephew got married to a lovely young lady from the south. They met in college. We had a wonderful time in Savannah celebrating. My parents traveled cross country to be there. And what a night it was…while Parkinson’s Disease has made daily life look different, Mom had a goal of dancing at her first grandchild’s wedding. And dance she did-With my dad. I stood behind her in case she got wobbly or dizzy. It was the most beautiful sight and is etched in my memory forever.
My nephew married in a destination wedding. It seems as 'tho the next generation is choosing marriage (as opposed to continued living together)-I feel joy for their joy!
My baby sister celebrated her Medicare birthday. It has been a time to reflect upon the post WWII era we all grew up in, a time of intensification to be sure. For me, it has also meant reflecting on how music has evolved and devolved over time, from harps to Haydn to Hornsby to hip hop, from bagpipes to Bach to bebop to the Beatles, from chants to Chopin to the Charleston to Chicago, etc. So many greats, notables, and duds! World music has many beats. What will keep us going into the future? What are You listening to now?
My little Yuval is such a beautiful person, inspiring her bigs to love more, care kindly, and laugh often. The milestone is officially being out of baby land. It's so beautiful/sad.
