Q01

Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired?

Our daughters engagement to a wonderful man. Such joy, happiness, and taking a many year burden conccern off my shoulders wondering if this would ever happen

October 7th. Hands down. Totally transformed my family life and the world. It prevented us from traveling to Israel to see family. It traumatized me as a mother and woman. I felt lowered in the eyes of the world for being married to an Israeli and having Israeli children. World Jewry was set back significantly. I lost respect for friends and supposed allies. My political circles transformed. I am a different person because of that day, and my view of myself in the world is forever altered.

The entire last year has been colored by the ongoing horrific genocide in Gaza, along with the cowardly and absurd discourse in the United States justifying these atrocities and misdirecting attention to supposed antisemitism when Israel's war crimes are pointed out or questioned. I have not been able to focus on my work since this assault began. I think of Gaza when I take a shower in plentiful water. I think of Gaza when I change my child's diaper with plentiful wipes and clean clothes. I think of Gaza when I stress over my child's minor injuries. I feel powerless, I feel enraged, I feel shame at the inaction of my elected officials, and I feel alienated from the Jewish community.

I characterise the past months as recovery from last year’s events - mom’s heart attack and finally being rid of that toxic parasite from our lives. It’s not just one event, it’s the living day to day. Many days, it boils down to mustering strength to get up for the day. Becoming a primary caregiver is a big change. I haven’t always done a good job. I feel guilty for the impatience and the hostility. I’m trying to be better but it’s really been difficult. This also means facing hard realities on what I can do at this time. It means questioning old beliefs, habits, and practices. What really matters? What should you focus on? Really, what worked before won’t always work now. Prioritising and adjusting the lens for clarity also marked this year. It’s a lot of discomfort and longing for security and assurance but those aren’t a given. Overall though,I am in a better place and trying to get back on my feet.

I quit my job because I didn't know how to advocate for myself and I didn't have strong work skills and habits developed/set into place. I got re-hired after having grown and better equipped with communicating my needs and learning what to fight for and what to let go. I'm still learning so much every day, but I'm happy that I left during a time of conflict and came back in a more empowered position.

My husband rowed across the Pacific Ocean as part of The World's Toughest Row. In the process they raised over $42 million for the MJFF for Parkinson's research. I am proud of their accomplishment, but somewhat resentful of the time it took from us for training over the past 2 years and the time and headspace it continues to take in the aftermath. I'm not proud of how I feel about this, as the fundraising was amazing and may contribute great things. But he was not passionate about this endeavor until shortly before the race, making it hard for him and then, by extension, hard on me because of all the sacrifices required. I think I should be grateful or inspired, but I'm just glad it's over. I'm tired of it being a key topic of conversation every time we are with different sets of friends. I feel somewhat guilty and selfish that I feel that way, but ... his commitment to this changed our lives for 2 years, and I didn't have a say in the atter.

Over the past year I have dived further into the challenges of being a stepmom. I have researched the topic extensively and it’s not that I have a difficult stepson, it’s that I really don’t agree with the way my partner parents. It’s more of an internal struggle because I see the way he and his ex-wife parent and simple things like getting your kid school clothes is a struggle, not in the financial sense but just making time or making it a priority. I am tempted to step in and have because I don’t want my stepson to go without something as basic as school clothes. My partner has been reliant on his grandparents to handle these things for him and they continue to “rescue” parent him, he in turn is rescuing parenting his son and is worried about being the “bad guy”. Over this past year I have gotten better and accepting that it is likely that I will never agree with how he parents my stepson so rather than try and fight it, I try and accept it. It is a great reminder of how I don’t want to parent our son.

So much has happened this year, with every single moment feeling significant, that it's almost hard to reflect. I feel so many things at once that it's a struggle to distill it into words. This has been in many ways a traumatic year. Next week it will be the one year anniversary of October 7th. It's hard to believe that was a year ago; the horror still feels fresh and raw, our wounds haven't scabbed over yet, and with an ongoing war, they can't. In some ways, I feel far removed from it all, being in New York, in other ways, it's ever present; the casual antisemitism I have seen from acquaintances, colleagues and people I considered friends is something I can never un-see. I don't know where we go from here. In our own personal lives, we've been so fortunate and blessed - it's been a good year, full of many milestones for Jules - this is the year he started truly talking, the year he started school for the first time (Nursery / Pre-K.) It's all been profoundly good. And yet, life lately has often felt unrelentingly hard. Maybe that's how life with a toddler is? It's so often a struggle just to get through the day. I feel like we're just surviving, and while that beats the alternative, I want to do more than just survive.

Meeting Jim and sharing 6 weeks of meals, play and intimate conversation without any physical intimacy. I learned that I could meet a man who can carry hard conversations and be kind. That I am likeable by a decent man. I am very grateful, relieved to know men like him exist.

I guess 7th of October has changed our world and lives forever. It makes me angry, sad but especially feel powerless every day. On the other hand I do see a collective consciousness rising that before i didn’t deem possible. On the personal level I met Fenya, the love of my life. She makes me feel so loved, cared for and I found a home in her. We’re gonna live together and I can’t wait to start this new phase of my life with her. It’s been a huge year since I’ve also started testosterone, got diagnosed with endometriosis and started a new job. These all have a big impact on my life but I have faith in the future.

In July, I decided to leave my staff job after knowing for some time that it wasn't right for me, I wasn't aligned with how the company worked, and I found no joy and plenty of stress in my day-to-day. I'm so grateful that I was able to leave that job, and prioritize myself, my mental health and my personal development, but I did (and still do) carry some guilt about leaving a steady income. That said, I'm super inspired to use my time wisely, grow, and spend more time on family and friends.

So many things, where do I begin? Fuck. 10/7 - the worst day for Jews, felt like shit 11/9 - fired from my job, also felt like shit 2/14 - met Vic, floating on air 4/18 - birth of my niece, also floating on air 4/25 - moved home with parents, felt like shit 5/9 - dad's surgery, felt like shit 6/12 - goodbye Vic, felt like shit The summer - everything, a mix of shit and cloud9 Sprinkle in Anti-Semitism EVERYWHERE - feels a lot like shit. It's been a year. I am grateful for many of the experiences that I had this year. They are experiences that I've always wanted, that I made happen for myself. (Apricot Jam, Love Burn, Acro, Love, Travel) but I've been feeling more and more terrible as the war continues in Israel and the world continues to see it through an anti-Semitic lens.

Continuing political polarization and chaos

I had a fight with my son. He put a knife to his neck. It caused me to move and I will be selling the house, to build new memories. I'm grateful I was able to change. Moving will be a good thing for me.

The most significant thing that happened this year was really not the conversion to Judaism itself - I experienced conversion to Judaism as a gradual change, not as a monumental shift on my mikvah date. The most significant thing was abandoning the formal process because the shuls I tried were not accommodating of my disability and did not align with my values, Jewish or otherwise. I was struggling to watch human beings be turned into meat before my eyes every morning for months and then go to a so-called house of G-d and listen to people minimize, whitewash, and sometimes even celebrate it. It felt spiritually violent. If that's G-d, I want no part of it. It was agony to walk away knowing that this line in the sand may mean I could never finish my conversion but I could not betray my values for the dubious honor of getting to sit next to congregations of people who, in my eye, were dragging something so precious and sacred through the mud. 2 days later I found my group of people, my new sponsoring Rabbi, and my forever Jewish home (B''H!) Never compromise and G-d will be there.

I took the bar!!! I am grateful to be done with law school in general and am super proud to have gotten to it and through it. I FULLY leaned into my "eat pray bar" summer. I decided that I was going to be disciplined and just kind of...did it. My entire life revolved around the bar exam, but I had a more intentional work/life balance than I ever have before and actually enjoyed my free time more. I started working out and I go to spin twice a week at SEVEN AM. I have not once been late to work. I'm still waiting on bar results and hope that my efforts paid off. According to Reddit (lol) they're being released this week. I can't explain it, but I do feel like I passed. Wish me luck. See you next year <3

Well, there's a pretty obvious one... My marriage ended. I'm technically still married, but I never thought that we'd be split up before we even got to our second anniversary. Enya's mental health took a very sharp downward turn after October, and from January onwards she became even more paranoid. Her worst traits became amplified and her behaviour towards me became unbearable. She accused me of having an affair and said that it was my fault that she was self-harming and then suicidal. I had to call 999 at one point! The whole thing left me feeling distraught. I was a total mess. I'm starting to come out the other side now, but I have been left with so many questions and so much yearning. I am happy with Emily. It is lovely and healthy and fresh and new. I am mourning my old life. I think the marriage would have ended anyway, but the accelerated pace has really fucked my head up.

Quit a job that was causing me a lot of distress because I was not allowed to get things done. Felt deceived and deeply sad because I could make a difference in the lives of the blind but was not allowed to get things done. The whole point of my taking up this job was to do something good and I did so keeping the best interests of the company and the founders in mind over mine.

I am certainly grateful, inspired, and relieved! Completing 5km open water for the Great North Swim (07/06/2024) was a notable milestone not only for the euphoria I received on the event day, but also as a demonstration that I can keep promises to myself and go through the demanding training for what was a major challenge and unchartered territory. Outdoor swimming is such an effective outlet for my busy mind. Through the seasons it has provided a means of overcoming mental blockers of confronting the cold and the long distances, whilst feeling fully connected with nature. Re-learning the freestyle technique and developing my lung capacity was fulfilling in itself - I have surely become the strongest and leanest version of myself this year. I feel immensely grateful for my health and for the support of friends and family, who inspired me to start and who accompanied me on the day. Thanks to the support of those around me I raised £560 for Cancer Research UK. A particularly fitting charity because of the tragic passing of Alvaro this year, with whom I was speaking right up until he passed.

The last of my important teachers from junior high & high school died in August. It makes me feel old & cut loose almost as much as the loss of my mother 3 years ago. An answer that I guess is more applicable is that my dojo scheduled their biggest event of the year on Yom Kippur. After several weeks, they issued a non-apology "explaining" why there was no other date they could have chosen. I wrote a heartfelt letter explaining why this is so upsetting. No response. Resentful? Very. I am probably going to quit over this. (I just put a freeze on my membership to see if I can recover.) I guess it clarified that I am leaving karate ~ a big deal as it's been important to me for almost 20 years, in many ways.

Ashu and I broke up. I think that's the biggest emotional event that's happened to me in the past year. which is truly insane because I also came out to everyone in my family as trans and started testosterone and it feels a little wrong that my breakup feels like a bigger emotional event than that. I think the breakup left me *different* but I'm not entirely sure how. In the moment I left, it made me feel a lot lighter. It's also made me more cautious of my relationships with other human beings. I have a much deeper appreciation for my capacity to hurt people now, and especially my capacity to hurt them by passivity--things I don't say, status quos I let remain status quos, uncomfortable horrible painful conversations that need to be had but I simply don't start. All those can cause as much pain as any intentional malicious choice. I've also realized I really can resent a person and hold grudges and all kinds of things that I don't generally do in my social life. Largely, I feel grateful for the relationship and feel like leaving it was catharsis. I think it's reinforced my worldview that my life is constant transformation and all of the painful events within it are part of that transformation and something I can love in its own way if I'm just feeling it all deeply and letting it change me. I think that's the most important thing. I want things to happen in my life.

I got pregnant! I'm extremely grateful it happened so quickly and we didn't have a hard time conceiving. I was so scared that we would have issues and then it happened so easily. This experience has been an eye opening one. We've had so many ups and downs already. At first it was finding out we were having TWINS, to then losing one of the twins, then single umbilical artery, and we just had our clear 20 week scan a few weeks ago. My body has gone through so many changes, it's wild it feels so crazy but also so natural, it's been such a crazy experience and I'm so thankful to be going through it. It has also put some of my childhood into perspective -- I've spent more time reflecting on the type of parent I want to be and how much life is about to change. Our entire lives are going to be turned upside down and I'm excited but terrified at the same time.

I tried to hang myself in February this year. I don't know if I wanted to die per se but I was not thinking straight and I was so angry at not being heard that I wanted to make a point. I had been dealing with suicidal ideation for a few months at that point and typing a shitty noose, climbing up on the ladder, slipping it around my neck and stepping off the ladder happened so fast because I had been steeping in it for a while. I was paralysed on my right side for months. I only regained my ability to fully feel my right ear, move my right shoulder and right side of my neck after returning to Vipassana in June. The rope burn also completely disappeared only then. It felt like god forgave me only them. I forgave myself only then. What can I say? I am all of it - grateful, relieved, resentful and inspired. The romanticisation of suicide is over. It does not seem like the hauntingly beautiful option to escape life and all its complexities. It had been for so long. But now I know it leaves me with a mangled body, broken hearts and unrealized potential, so much life left to be lived. I am relieved there was no permanent damage that affected my life - there is a wound at the back of my head from where the stitches are after I hit my head after being cut down. I don't think that will ever heal completely. It will always be a bit sore and raised. I don't think resentment has a place in my life anymore. It teaches me responsibility, like its sister, and regret. I want to live. I want to make art. I want to make living in this world easier for people like me. For my people. I wnt to create until I die.

I finished my album! Wow so many emotions. I am deeply grateful for all the support and care, inspired that it came out as well as it did, feeling fortunate and relieved that Dan, Rafa, and Loren provided their skills and gifts - as a gift. Relieved to be done. Overwhelmed with all the requirements for its promotion. Grateful for the Kickstarter support, and hopeful and optimistic about reaching my goal.

It feels like so, so much has happened this year. I finally had some of the conversation that needed to happen, about the ways my supervisor's supervisor had hurt me. Of course, the conversation was on the coat-tails of a new traumatic event for the congregation - everything all at once, like usual. I do think it's helped; I feel less like I am constantly braced for more hurt.

Getting pregnant and having a baby!!!!! I'm so grateful to have had a completely healthy pregnancy with no health concerns and a beautiful complication free delivery. I'm so lucky that I was able to have had exactly the birth experience I was wishing for: an empowering unmedicated and low intervention delivery. I feel like superwoman! I really did it! My body is amazing and knew just what to do every step of the way. I actually pushed a human out of me and I'd do it exactly the same way all over again.

The Genocide in Gaza has changed my life in many ways. I am committed to support Palestinians in their quest for liberation and justice. I am grateful because it has helped me to see the truth that at some point i was too afraid to see. I am inspired to be resilient because most middle easterners are beyond resilient and give me the example that we shall not surrender to the capitalist greed

Grandpa’s death was overwhelming and opened a part of my heart I didn’t know exhisted. I am beyond thankful for his love

I fell in and out of love with Magda. She showed me I’m capable but I have a lot of defences up. Typical. She’s inspired me to find my own person.

I brought my musical to the stage this past year! It was a major milestone from me as a musician, writer, and creative. It was also major milestone for the musical itself as it had never been on stage before and that way. I am so proud of what I was able to produce so grateful for all the support I had from my network to make that happen. I'm so grateful and inspired and I also am overwhelmed by the mountain of work that I need to do to continue the musical. And I am noting that in the one year since I had the staged reading at freight and salvage I have added virtually nothing to the script or score. That was partially because I needed a few months to decompress and then I was working on the purim schpiel and then on my short play about all my parts. Then the last few months I've been nursing my injury to my hands. So I have good reasons for it but it does feel like I had a whole year and I didn't make any movement towards completing that work. I really don't want to be the same place a year from now unless I decide I'm not going to work on that project right now.

Some significant experiences from the last year- 1- Neil's diagnosis with Glioblastoma, 2- traveling to Peru and Columbia, 3- summer #2 as trips UL. I can't remember exactly when Grace called my mom to let her know (per her mother's request) that Neil was being taken to the hospital because of a seizure - March maybe? And then I can't remember how long after that we learned it was Glioblastoma. I only visited the Parikh's for the first time since then less than a week ago. This feels like a significant experience - my godfather, who I lived with for about 2 years non-consecutively, being diagnosed with the same type of terminal cancer that my father died from, 14 years ago. And the news hasn't been without affect, on me, personally, but I do feel like I've avoid/buried/compartmentalized the affect largely. Going to see Neil wasn't the big upset I braced for it to be, it wasn't comfortable though. And Grace invited me back for dinner the next night and I declined, lying that I had dinner plans, which I felt bad for- feel bad for. 5 years is an unusually long time to live past a glioblastoma diagnosis. Dad lived about a year and a half past his diagnosis. So I know time is limited, but I don't find myself making use of it, I'm avoidant. There's probably something I could read about it, that would be validating, help me understand some of my response/non-response at least. Some feelings words: I feel guilty, uncomfortable, a sense of dread, grief, I guess, but that doesn't feel very specific. In this moment I don't feel very inspired to change my response, but I feel like I should.

We welcomed a young rescue dog into our home... Little Bird. She came to us timid and unsure, with very submissive body language, never wagging her tail, hiding her personality. Now that we're 10 months in, she's still wary of strangers, but she's been growing in confidence, love and even joy along the way. It's clear from her hyperactive startle reflex that she struggles to overcome some early life trauma, but she's very sweet and gentle. It is such a privilege to love and care for her, and I'm able to connect better to my own healing journey as I witness hers. I'm learning lots about myself as I engage with her... about tenderness, about joy, about how my family of origin conditioned me to love, about how I still have healing work of my own to do, about how to listen, interpret, and communicate better, about the importance of a firm foundation of safety from which we can then grow, about releasing physical tension to move through the world with more openness, and so much more... Becoming a dog guardian is quite different than I expected (I imagined more "showy" affection and joy), but she has given me so many opportunities for reflection in her quiet, stoic, reserved style of gentle love. The common bond of healing from old trauma seems important in our relationship.

In this moment what feels most significant is a moment of surrednering to the fact that I can't control my work. That led me to a deeper surrender of my life to God. I'm so grateful for that shift. I'm early on in navigating what that means, but I've gone to a few WA meetings and am taking the intention seriously. I'm paying close attention to my overwork and obsession with being busy. I see that I keep asking work to give me what only God can - validation, love, a feeling of being enough. It feels very meaningful to finally have this break right in the Days of Awe, a year after my injury, to fully enter recovery and an even deeper relationship with God.

The ongoing lies, repeatedly spoken, while proven false. It is the mystery of my life that people could vote to have a President with 30,000 documented lies in 4years, a convicted felon, unfaithful in marriage, and who vows to be a dictator. And that is just the beginning. God help us

My mom died on September 28th, 2024 and she went into hospice last year sometime in November or the end of October, so it's been almost a year that she's been on hospice. The hospice company took her off of hospice I think in April and then in May I put her on with a different hospice company. And she's been on that for a while. She started falling multiple times and she had a stroke in the first week of August. Since then she's been declining, but through it all she smiled. She smiled all the time, but then at night she cried. So in one respect I was grateful to be here with her. I was grateful that her sister, my aunt, Elaine had come and visited and I was grateful that I got to take care of my Mom. I'm sad that she's gone and I'm glad she's no longer in pain because her crying at night was so hard in those last 2 months, but she's gone and there's no more pain. She is no longer miserable. So now it's just me and the cat. I think it was December 19th when we got her. Her name was Sparkles but then my mom couldn't remember that name so she kept calling her Greta, which was our other cat's name who had passed away. So I said okay. Well, her name's Greta as well then. My aunt came and said oh, she's so fluffy. So she started calling her Fluffers. Whatever her name... she's so cute, but she's got a little sass to her. So I'm grateful that I got her because in my mom's final months. This past 9 months, Greta has made her laugh. She made her cry too when Greta attacked me that one time, or rather a couple of times really and I had to heal, but she just made my mom laugh SO much and how she played was SO cute and I'm glad she brought some joy to my mom's last few months here with us. I'm grateful to have gotten a cat. I got a sassy cat, but she's a sweet one too so. I'm grateful she's here with me especially now, so I'm not so all alone.

We moved for what is hopefully the last time in a very long time. We are so lucky to have inherited wealth that allowed us to move to a bigger house with room to accommodate guests and grandparents staying with us. It's on a quieter street, close to shops, and has lots of desireable features. I feels conspicuous about the house as a sign of wealth but also feel so grateful to have the ability to move into a home that feels like it really will serve our family well and without being totally over the top in size or fanciness. It's a time of reckoning with our financial status, the discomfort of inheriting money while living in a time of such vast inequality and knowing so many people who don't have the same means. I feel grateful but also guilt and more resolute about donating more of our money going forward.

My colleague at work retired unexpectedly - I was upset, a little envious and also anxious as our team of two is now one and I had to take on her workload.

The death of my mom. While I know her quality of life was not there but it was still hard and I miss her

My job was restructured and I had to reapply. I was kind of resentful because it came out of nowhere. However I think that this is an opportunity so I'm now grateful because I was comfortable and would have stayed put otherwise.

Such a year - From October 7 to recently getting fired (without cause), the joy of an "at-will" contract. It has been a year of sadness and anger. So much. So much. At this end, there is disbelief. Can we still be at war? Why do so many hate Israel, Israelis, and Jews. Who could hate my children? What the serious-fuck could be wrong with these people?! And my job - maybe this will be for the best. I believe that in moments. For now, shitland has returned. I am angry. I am sad. I am frustrated. I want to hate - I cannot. That is a disease that leads only to destruction, of the hater and the hated. I hope for next year.

After all these years of bleating on here about how much I hate my job I... got a new job! It's not quite the bold move that I was hoping for when I was writing my 10Q last year, but it's a start. I applied for three jobs last autumn: one I didn't get shortlisted for; one I got an interview for but never thought I would get; one I got quite far down the process and really thought I would be offered it, to the point where I was pre-emptively talking myself out of it and thinking up reasons why I would turn it down. I didn't get it. That last decline really stung, not because I was particularly desperate to get the job, but because I was so sure that they wanted me. I had that huge Oxford ego like anyone would be lucky to have me, just because I've worked at Oxford for ten years. Hubris! Anyway, after all that emotional rollercoaster, I decided I would just take a step back and see where things took me, with a vague idea that I might hand in my notice regardless in the summer. Just when I had made that decision, I got approached by another recruiter for the job I am in now. I will say that my job-seeking experience has left me pretty cynical about recruiters - they are selling the job to you as much as they are selling you to the job, and they will puff up your ego like nobody's business. But this guy was quite clear, from quite early on, that they were only talking to me in this round. I was kind of on the fence about the whole thing as I wasn't sure I wanted to work in a prep school and I'm always worried about going out of the frying pan and into the fire. So the recruiter suggested I meet the head and the bursar, and they were so great and... here I am! It is such a different atmosphere here. Now, whenever I'm feeling pressured, I *know* it's just me, because everyone is so supportive. I mean yes, obviously, there are expectations of me, but there's also an understanding that there are other factors at play. Everyone has been so warm and welcoming, so I really feel like I landed on my feet. I mean, yes, ultimately I still want to leave the fundraising profession, but this feels like I pretty good last role for me. So how do I feel... grateful that I have such a supportive environment. Relieved that I got out of such a toxic, dysfunctional work environment (news coming from my old organisation over the past few months has only reinforced my decision). Maybe a little bit disappointed that I didn't have the courage of my convictions. Anxious (of course) that the honeymoon won't last... but all in all, it's been a positive move, and I'm going to try really hard not to talk myself out of that. Also - no one died or got diagnosed with cancer, so I am taking that for a WIN!

Sophie’s First Holy Communion. We were almost all together. Just before mum’s heart failure health scare. We missed Greg, Marina and Mon.

Shocked how much people can hate us. Just to hate us. division is getting extreme, like those who push for such things who are egomaniacal, unbalanced and just mad... making like its ok and somehow what is being done is Ok like WHAAAAAT is happening??

My brother and I took a trip on the Queen Mary 2 from New York to Southampton so that we could honor my later father's wish (a former sailor) to be buried at sea. We had a very moving ceremony with the ship's captain where I read a special poem to graves at sea, and we also had a nice bouquet of flowers to throw in after the cremains. When my brother and I then got to London we had a memorable meal at the Ritz, where we also stayed the night. I felt a solemn sense of duty fulfilled and will always cherish the memories of this trip honoring my father.

We are separated. I feel hurt, discouraged. Decimated. Lonely. Messed up. Broken. Permanently unfit for this world. Also, real and seen but by others, not by my partner. He's not able to see anything right now except himself. I'm not sure I like myself, deep down. I can be petty, shallow, I can manipulate when I am not getting what I need. I think I am working on being my own partner again and connecting to friends as true deep life partners.

Well, I gave birth to a baby that wasn't my own! Yes, I finally did the surrogacy dream! It was amazing honestly. One of the best things I can think of doing with my life and relatively easy on the scale of things. Especially since most of it is passive. And once you did the thing, there's no going back. Gotta admit, the physical discomfort was waaaaay more than I had remembered from CL and SR. Towards the end, I was going to the bathroom allllll. The. Time, and waking up a few times during the night to do so. Which was annoying AF. And then I had acid reflux the last few months that was annoying, made me have to sleep more upright, which I don't like, and ruined my voice. Hard to know how much was that, how much was post- nasal drip, but my voice was shot the last few months of the year, which is annoying as a choir singer. The birth was amazing, really, all I could ask for in a birth. I love giving birth. What an amazing ride. Of course the hemorrhaging afterward was frightening. I wasn't sure if I was going to die but honestly all I thought then was Well, I'm so glad the pain (of pushing) is gone. And I had already accepted that dying was a possible outcome of giving birth, plus I have that attitude about daily living in general. Life is precarious and you never know when you're going to go. Anyway, people gave me a lot of praise for doing this, and I hope I adequately explained to them that this was not hard for me, and that being nice to my kids and husband when I'm irritated is much harder.

The most significant personal experience I had this past year was mine and Theo's wedding. I am so grateful for everyone who made it possible: to Theo for overcoming his fears and self-doubt that allowed us to be fully present in both the planning and the celebration, my parents and Jay & Sherri for their generosity and patience over our 18 month engagement, our closest friends and family who sprung into action to help get everything ready in the months and weeks before the big day, all of our friends and family from afar who witnessed and celebrated our love, and of course the incredible vendors we worked with along the way who brought our vision to life--especially our florist, who made my wildest botanical / floral dreams come true. I am SO happy we made it a big to-do that felt right-sized to us (even though I wouldn't have minded if it'd been a little bigger with even more friends and family), and equally relieved the planning process and its subsequent stress are over. One of my favorite moments post-wedding was when a friend told us that witnessing our ceremony allowed her to open up to the idea of getting married herself one day, which she had otherwise been resistant to despite having a long-term partner--and then she got engaged a month later and credited us for getting her to that moment! She said she felt that way because she saw what an authentic, individualized, still fun yet deeply moving wedding could be like. Other family and friends shared how inspiring they found our very Jewish and egalitarian ceremony, and so many people said it was the best wedding they ever went to (I'm biased obvi but agree we threw one hell of a fucking party). I'm so proud and honored to have done this for them and most of all for me and Theo. I appreciate how much closer the planning process made me with my husband (!!!), my parents and now in-laws, my bridesmaids and Maia, and with myself. It also brought me closer to G!d through all of the searching and struggling we went through to get to this point in our relationship. I feel like my soul was stretched and elevated through this experience. That in doing what so many of my ancestors have done before me, I crossed over a threshold and am the same but somehow different on the other side.

Eros passing away & the war in Gaza & beginning my first film! Eros passing away was a sacred walk with a mentor, friend, and visionary. He reminded me that all could be laughed at. That we had past lives as ninjas. That everything was precious. And to get to witness his words at the end of his life, recording videos in the fading sunshine with his glorious purple coat and pendant. Hair blowing in the wind. Love, he said, love it all. And I did. Even this... The war in Gaza, to hear my ancestors scream, 'stop.' For a people who survived a genocide to perpetuate it - a moral collapse. What it means to find myself inside of all that and to then clearly see that we must heal not to become our enemies. To love it all, for Jews to heal so they don't destroy. Fear is a drug, do not become addicted to protecting yourself against imagined enemies. They are only mirrors to your own pain. My first film! The magic unfolds - buillding a film with the students. Storytelling enlivens me....

I became best friends with Cristina and found my soulmate It made me feel so grateful to know that you find love when you are ready for it and need it most

I was severely taken advantage of by a semi family member. I felt angry, and now feel hurt and sad.

I experienced an exquisite earthwork from 1,000 years ago, Serpent Mound. I was transported. I felt connected to time and co-humans and the earth all at once.

I finally moved to Florida! Well I did start off with a job and eventually got fired but other than that it’s been good for the most part! Don’t ever want to leave and I’ve gone through three hurricanes!

I decided to stop drinking alcohol. This has changed everything obviously, I am relieved, but also challenged by having to figure out how to live a different lifestyle without the crutch of alcohol.

My toddler did NOT want to walk on her own for the longest time. I was stressing about it and walking with her (holding both her hands) all the time trying to get her to practice. The day she turned 18 months old (the point where Google says it may be time for intervention if they're not walking yet) we were at a toddler play group and I was talking to the group facilitator about being stressed to talk about her not walking with the pediatrician at her checkup the next day. So I turn around and little one is standing halfway across the room smiling at me. She takes two steps and sits down and I just BURST into tears. Saying I'm so proud of you over and over while hugging and kissing her. She's 22 months now and walking everywhere like a champ! Watching these little ones grow and learn is so amazing that some nights I rock her to sleep and just whisper I love you into her hair while hugging her for a few extra minutes before I take her to her bed <3 <3

My sister having a nervous break down, getting arrested and thrown in a mental hospital during my birthday really was traumatic and hard. I am resentful because I was already having a hard time and a bad birthday. But it just compounded. It made me realize I truly cant trust any of my family and Im not sure what to think or feel but I am more....protective of myself and my well being.

October 7. Everything is different. Everything we knew to be true and safe about the world has been pulled out from under us. Even though deep down I already knew that the tide was starting to turn against the Jewish people (per my answers last year). October 7 was truly shocking—barbaric, unspeakable… it’s just too hard to even go there. As shocking as it was, the response from the world—pro Palestinian and anti Israel & antisemitic activity did not surprise me as much as it surprised a lot of other people. That made me mad. Fault lines were exposed everywhere. People we thought were our allies, were not. Where we felt safe and invincible—Israel—we lost faith. We are afraid. We are not safe. We feel alone and don’t know who we can trust in the world and especially in our own government. THAT is another story. But despite all the insecurity, some good things have happened. Some people have leaned into their Judaism more. Unfortunately, not me. I have built up such a shell around myself, because if I allow myself to feel, I will just not survive. I feel guilty about that too. How can I be so weak when the people in Israel are bearing this every day. When the survivors and the families of the hostages live with the loss and trauma every day. I can’t think about it. I can’t go there. The hardest thing is that no matter what I do, what I believe, how well informed or educated I am, I am powerless. And not being able to have efficacy or agency is just demoralizing. So I kind of do nothing. I focus on what I can do or control—my own microcosm—and hope that whatever positive is generated from that will have a ripple effect into the world.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in both breast's - two different types of cancer in one breast - in October. After two partial mastectomies that failed to get clean margins, I had a bilateral mastectomy in February of this year. I did not need radiation treatment or chemotherapy. They tell me I'm cancer free. My latest surgery, for reconstruction, was a month ago. There will be two more surgeries before I'm done. My life has been consumed by cancer for the past year, I've been on a runaway train. I'm just now beginning to unravel everything. I cry at the drop of a hat. My body looks ugly to me. I was never especially fond of the way it looked before but my breasts were an important part of my self-image. They attracted attention from men and I enjoyed that attention. They fed my baby. They were a part of me and that person that I was. Now they're gone. There are scars that run from under my left arm, across my chest, to under my right arm. I look at myself in the mirror and feel hideous. Am I grateful? Relieved? I suppose. I'm also seriously depressed and greif-stricken.

Fracturing my spine - made be realise how much it has changed my ability and how much effort it will take me to get as near as I can to where I was. It is depressing but I don’t want it to defeat me or change life more than necessary

The business I was working for (Art Originals) closed its doors on August 31 of this year. They were bought by another company (Canvas Freaks). The drive to the new location was about 1 hour and 45 minutes from home... too far. I started looking for a new job. I found Mary's Sustainable Farm. I start work next week at the farm with lower wages, but only a 10-minute drive to work. I will be milking cows and doing general farm-hand work. I am frustrated with the loss of a good-paying job, but happy to be working close to home. I'll gain farming skills and stay in shape at Mary's. This will also give me more time to build my website and start earning money from it. Mike is happy that I am happy, but money will be tight for a while. I have a lot of mixed emotions from frustration and anger at the loss of a good job, to happiness working on a dairy, to facing the unknown of monetary income. All these mixed emotions have left me weary. Hopefully, I can get into a routine and spend more time building my business and working on the homestead. My whole life I haven't had much money and have always felt a few paychecks away from debt. I'm less than 10 years from retirement. I feel like I've spent so much of my life just struggling to pay bills. How did we set ourselves up as a society to get ourselves into these situations?... ok, lots of feelings and these days much more musing. I trust God has a reason and I'll continue on my journey with faith.

Death has taken several people in my circle. I am saddened.

The Oct. 7th attack on Israel and the fallout. I have had to question myself. But I am still a Zionist in the sense that I believe there should be two states an Israeli one and a Palestinian state. The craneage in Gaza has made me question my stance and support of the Israeli state and my objectivity. But the response from many people on the left has made me more critical about their performative morality and thier good vs evil world view. This tragedy has been commodified. People are suffering due to their supposed leaders on both sides. You can feel compassion for both peoples.

I learned that my 36 year old daughter is pregnant, due Feb. 2. She lives in China. More on that later. But this has altered my world view. I had long ago ceased any expectations of grandchildren. Gannett and I only discussed her having children once many years ago, and she seemed offhand about it--"I expect I will have children some day......"--so I never asked or 'nudged' about it. Son, Stephen, is gay with an older husband. Odd how the world is different. My thoughts about her are different. The continuing of our specific DNA is not important, not consequential, and I won't interact with this child much, but still, the baby should exist. And live. And grow.

Plenty this year with ongoing exhausting and challenging stuff, but I am drawn to my uplifting travels in Vietnam, late January and February. I spent my own money and attended the 100+ person tour group attending the two-year ceremonies for Thich Nhat Hanh, being inducted into Buddhist lineage as an ancestor. It felt like I was at the spiritual UN, with so many languages and nationalities represented. I felt both energized and safely “at home” in the group magic. I love expansion into cultures of the world, with mature people. The temple touched me with its quiet, loving, peace energy currents. I was healed and transcendently happy. Traveling alone in Hoi An for a few days was good for my courage and sense that I will be OK.

Oct 7 has left me feeling sad and disconnected from Judaism. I am appalled by the disproportionate response in Gaza and cannot defend against claims that the conduct amounts to genocide. At the same time I am disgusted by the antisemitism taking root everywhere — in the protests against Israel, in American politics, and in quiet corners I don’t see but know are there. Most of all I worry about the loss of empathy between all people but particularly by some in my own family—no one’s blood is any redder than another's so why are our rabbinic leaders so focused on only the loss of Jewish life and not the 45,000 Palestinian civilians? And why are people sympathetic to the Palestinians failing to see the harm caused to Israeli families on that horrific day as similarly unjustifiable ? And why aren’t the Palestinians rooting out Hamas from within for causing all this suffering? It’s hard to believe in the goodness of humankind right now. This year I have not participated in 10Q. I am too brokenhearted. This is my only response and I am sending it to the vault.

5/17/24- Performing a lyrical/contemporary solo at my school's dance showcase. Infront of many hundreds of people made me feel grateful, relieved, proud, inspired, awesome, amazing, and overall a big step in my dance career!

Medical scare left me grateful and hungry to take action in my life

We went to Spain for 6 weeks. I thought I'd get a taste of what it's like to live there, but I didn't. The revolving door of guests was a distraction, and in between, I felt intensely lonely. I missed my sisters and Hope and Mishkan. Kiwi was traumatized when we got. It felt like such a flop - but I think I want to try again. The problem is, until we're REALLY there, I won't make friends. What's the point of starting things when we'd be leaving soon? Will we (or I) ever be brave enough to take the plunge? Well, now we have to wait until Kiwi dies anyway.

I have to say October 7th. My heart aches every day. I have such deep sadness for the hostages, those murdered & injured during the attack & after, and for our beautiful state of Israel. I fear for the safety of Israel & of all Jews everywhere. And then there was Hurricane Helene. I’m now in a hotel because we have no water at home. My sadness is for my city. So much destruction in Asheville. So many friends who lost their stores & their studios. Grief.

I'm engaged. My partner and I have been together since 2020. I asked them to marry me after finishing my conversion. I don't yet know what our wedding or marriage will look like, but I know I want to spend the rest of my life with them. I'm relieved and overwhelmed and so happy.

My 13-year-old dog, Frisco, died. I have experienced more grief than with any other pet I have ever had.

My older brother’s death, and the heaps of both responsibility (being the new go-to for our older father) and opportunity (the inheritance) that it’s brought. It’s quite an emotional conflict, and I’m feeling a fair amount of guilt about it all.

Although there have been several experiences I've had in the past year, no experience has affected me, or perhaps any other Jewish person, as much as October 7th. On that day, as the Jewish world was celebrating the "זְמַן שִׂמְחָתֵנוּ" that is the holiday of Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, and Simchat Torah, our homeland, the State of Israel, was subjected to the most brutal attack in her history, and the most brutal attack on the Jewish people since the Shoah. The Hamas terrorist attack of 10/7, which took the lives of 1200 people, and saw hundreds more taken hostage, has left the Jewish world shaken, in terrible pain, and angry. Worse yet, the reaction of those around the world has shown that we have fewer true allies than we might have hoped, and demonstrated clearly that antisemitism is alive and very unwell in the 21st century. While I remain quite shaken, even a full year later, I am more resolved than ever in my love and support of our homeland. I hope to travel there in the coming year to offer whatever support I can to our people and our home.

Traveling to Germany alone. Uncertainty becomes a gift the make a leap forward. I was inspired, grateful, felt courageous.

Relief! Last year's situation with C the intern was a dead end for those involved who just wanted to destroy me. Turns out only the colleague who convinced the intern to press charges against me had it in for me. The other woman who works with me and the women higher up in the hierarchy sided with me because they actually took the time to get to know me and never believed I'd try to seduce an intern 23 years my junior. I still hope that one day C and I can sit down and talk about what happened last year. She needs to know that I saw her as the daughter I never had and I need to know how she felt about all this and what drove her to feel that my friendliness was an attempt at harassment. We both need closure on this issue but chances are it'll never happen. She convinced herself I was hitting on her and maybe she'll never change her mind or be sufficiently open-minded to sit down with me for a frank and honest conversation. As for V, the colleague, it looks like what goes around really does come around. Her less than professional side has emerged and her image within the organization is deteriorating. It seems it has been deteriorating since she secured her job with us and now that she feels solid job security, she just does the bare minimum. And it shows. And the hirerarchy notices it. Add to that the fact that she tried to weaponize an intern against me. All she accomplished was the destruction of a budding friendship and nothing else. I'm still working there and thriving, being given more responsabilities and trust while her work and behaviour are raising a few eyebrows. And how was I affected by this ordeal? I was destroyed at first. My heart completely shredded with C's 180 turn. The young woman I loved as a daughter stabbed me in the back. She never talked to me about her feelings of unease. And V, who I loved as a sister, had the chance to promote dialogue but chose instead to use the situation to her advantage and get me fired. I'll paraphrase something that I heard and it goes a little like this: "Worse than being stabbed in the back is to turn around and see who's holding the knife." So true. But from the rubble I emerged. Given C's incomprehensible behaviour (at least to me), I started to try and understand female behaviour in general but particularly how they relate to men. Thus I found out about the Red Pill and Black Pill communities and boy, did I open my eyes. I'm not radicalized in any way and absolutely refuse to see women as enemies but I don't feel like dating ever again now. But I'm not running away from love, either. I'm now on a path of self-improvement and developed a growth mentality. I'm physically and mentally stronger than ever. I've also become quite fearless and I'm always up for a challenge. After all, dying inside and coming back made me realise there are fates worse than death. I think there are few things worse in life than what C and V did to me. Recently, I went back to studying. Soon I'll have my degree and further my career. I may even go for a post graduation. It was a roller coaster of a year but I'm stronger, more focused and open to Life and its possibilities. What didn't kill me made me stronger. And a little bit stranger too.... ;)

getting into MBA graduate program has been a welcome relief from the endless screaming about 7 October and the ensuring nightmare of a war... hot take, business is the single greatest force for creating a pluralistic and stable society

My trip to Oaxaca during the Day of the Dead. I loved the artisans we saw and talked with and the city. But mostly I was touched by this age-old custom of taking time to reflect on those people in your life you made you who you are - not just your ancestors but friends and neighbors. The ofrendas everywhere - huge public ones and small personal ones, seeing people at the cemetery a few days beforehand whitewashing burial areas and pulling weeds. Bringing in beautiful floral arrangements - and orange marigolds everywhere. I recall one hose that covered their entire front sidewalk all the way to the street, welcoming their loved ones home. I think of my loved ones - especially dad, grandma and Joe - but prior to this trip didn’t take time to pause, reflect, rest in good memories, and be grateful. Don’t wait to say that I love people, what they’ve taught me, and what I value about them.

My friend group dropped someone this year. After months of her alienating all of us in different ways. And, early on, after another of our friends ended up not being able to come to an event, she basically constantly reached out to her--in unhealthy and mean ways. And, tried to get the rest of us involved. And, at some point, sent another friend a long list of things that each of us have done wrong in the past however many years. None of us are speaking to her any more. It's sad, but it's something we had to do for our own sake (as a collective and as individuals). Since then, I have realized how much stress she had added to all of us. And how toxic that collective friendship was.

My father was hospitalized. I was terrified. I thought that he was going to die. I am grateful that he is still alive. I know that death is inevitable, but I cannot imagine my life without him.

My husband had a small stroke with few residual affects, but his denial of any needs or help have continued to make life difficult for me.

A year with virtually no income. It’s dented my self confidence and caused me stress and sadness.

My new job as general director at Capilla. It’s been challenging. I am grateful because I have learned and grown so much. I am inspired to do an even better job next year.

My husband, luckily, qualified early for CAR T therapy for multiple myeloma provided through the Levine Cancer Institute. It got him to deep remission, but not without side effects that put him back into the hospital twice for a combined three weeks of antibiotics and infusions to support his weakened immune system. It meant two months away from home for him and six weeks in a row for me. We’re elated with the remission, but exhausted by everything else. Relieved, grateful, yes, but our lives will now forever be different. At nearly 79, I’m not sure I’ll be up to what will be required.

We bought an our first house after a lifetime of apartment living (for me at least)! It is exactly what we’d been praying for Christ to grant us with, in a quiet, safe neighborhood with an uninterrupted view of NYC while still being surrounded by nature. His unmerited favor on our lives is humbling. We are overjoyed and in awe of His blessings.

There were several times when I thought my marriage was over. The first few times, I was able to bounce back, this last time it's been a lot harder. I'm closed off and I do feel resentful. I'm hoping I can heal from the emotional distress soon and that there will be growth, however it comes.

This year at work, I applied to participate in the MOH's Emerging Leaders Program, and got accepted. It's an intense, 10-month commitment where we have two half-day presentations every other week, a group project, mock interviews, and a final presentation of our group project to a panel comprised of Executive Leadership Team members. Super intense. All off the sides of our desks. It's a LOT. I have felt resentful at times, but I remind myself that I asked for this; I wanted to see whether I'm management material. Turns out, I am - but maybe now, I don't know if I want it. The interesting thing is that the ministry has invested a lot in the cohort of us who made it into this program. We've received personalized emotional intelligence assessments, leadership assessments; I have a much better understanding of how my extroverted introvert qualities of steadfastness, empathy, integrity, consistency, and transparency affect others and impact the workplace. The ELP finishes by the end of next month (November) and I'll be quite relieved once it's done, but will definitely keep in touch with many of the people from my cohort. They've been incredibly inspiring with their skills and intelligence, and I'm hopeful that the public service will start to change for the better once this group gets into management positions.

While many of our travels have been fun and we have definitely learned a lot about traveling together, the most significant experience was the two weeks in Durango where no one visited. Broni and I spent meaningful chunks of time working on our relationship. Key elements had to do with expectations and communications. It improved our relationship. Specifically, we have added more humor, we don’t take ourselves and miscommunications as seriously as before we did this work. The gift of caring and love blossomed.

Joining JVP, meeting some phenomenal activist friends, and helping develop ABQ Tzedek Collective. I am grateful to meet these amazing humans and learn and practice collaborative activism. I'm deeply sad about what's going on in Israel and Palestine (and now Lebanon) and that the murder of innocents is what led me to join this organization. I feel mostly helpless in helping stop this genocide.

This last year has been one defined by cancer. In the late fall of 2023 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A double mastectomy quickly followed. A month off of work. Rehab. Lots of appointments. And I got off easy…no chemo, no radiation. It affected me deeply, but I constantly downplay it. Just like above. I got off easy. But it has surfaced a lot of problems and a lot of body issues. I feel less feminine and less attractive, and I barely felt either of those to begin with. And if that wasn’t enough cancer, we lost our kitty to cancer this summer, and my beloved KC dog to old age and seizures. We said goodbye to her just days after my surgery. It’s been a rough year.

Having my first daughter Maria

October 7 was the most significant event in my life last year by far. It is hard to separate it from Israel's subsequent wars in Gaza and now Lebanon. At this time last year I never thought that Israel would be bombing Beirut. I didn't think that Israel would ever prioritize anything besides getting hostages back. I didn't think I would be hearing reports of war crimes committed by the IDF in Gaza or know that there was a secret facility in Israel where captured Palestinians had been (are being?) tortured. Maybe some or all of them are Hamas, but I still don't condone torture. I didn't think I'd see the response of support and in fact joy from individuals and groups in the West and right here in the Bay. I didn't think I'd see someone search for a Jew in an airplane turbine during a pogrom in Russia. I didn't think I'd have to walk home past antisemitic graffiti and red triangles. I didn't think the silence of family would be so loud. I still don't know all the ways this has affected me. I feel numb a lot of the time. I am certainly not grateful, relieved, or inspired - except by some of the responses of the Jewish community during this time. That has been something for which I have been immensely grateful and it is a huge source of relief. I navigate between shock, grief, horror, hope, pride, numbness, fear, and even so many other states and emotions sometimes multiple times per day. I am only so, so grateful for other members of the Jewish community who have provided space for me, put their feelings into words so I know that I'm not alone, and spoken out against hate and unjust violence against Jews, Palestinians, Arabs, Muslims, and everyone in the Holy Land and surrounding lands, and here in America.

Hamas attacked Israel on Oct 7th, one year ago, killing 1200 people and taking many hostages. Since then Israel has waged a horrible war against the Palestinian people, killing more than 40,000 people, most of them innocent civilians, and has now moved on to invading Lebanon. At the Passover dinner I hosted this year I gave out Free Palestine buttons. Netanyahu is a heartless monster yet most U.S. politicians stand behind him no matter how many war crimes he commits. I wish we would stop funding this slaughter of innocents. Personally, not a lot of significance happened: I took my trip with the twins and their mom but enjoyed even more when they visited us at home. My mother attempted suicide August 26th and made her life and mine much harder. Her dementia and physical health worsened after her hospital stay for the overdose. Jamie is still with Jenna but less sure of her, which is sad. I hope by next year she feels more certain one way or the other. Hampshire had layoffs. Renee is still there but stressed. I ghostwrote a book about a little girl with polio and her big sister and was very proud of my work but haven't taken any editing jobs since then. Renee and I celebrated our eighth anniversary; I got her a sex swing! I marked the eighth anniversary of my son's death by hiking up Bare Mountain. I will never be done writing about him, it seems. I started a Substack called Paying Attention: A New Mindfulness Method to look at all the content I consume, and I have about 80 subscribers, a tenth of them paid (so nice and exciting). I submitted almost nothing and had nothing published, but I participate in several writing/ sharing groups: Poets on the Raft, Writing Class Radio Podcast workshops, and monthly dates with Dina. I rarely attend in person writing groups these days but I love that I can meet with other writers online. Renee and I are overdue for a vacation (we took none together this past year). Larry was diagnosed with prostate cancer this week. He's waiting to learn if it's metastisized. The boys came for a summer visit. Julian is depressed without Kalyn, and Logan has never had a girlfriend. I loved spending time with them though it was a challenge for me to see Julian neglecting himself from depression. Amy went on a gambling spree, called to ask me for money from a casino parking lot, and hasn't spoken to me much since I said no. Hurricanes swamped the South. Bobbie and Mark got married at a gorgeous campsite; I officiated and loved being there to celebrate their love. Women are dying due to abortion bans and being criminally charged for miscarrying. We are all holding our breath (and writing postcards and phone banking) as we wait to see Kamala Harris become president. The fact that polls show a tie between her and the racist rapist running against her is sickening!

I went to Japan over spring break. But tbh that feels like FOREVER AGO. I went to camp for the first time and that was amazing. I was very... emotional after. I also went to Play On again (3 year steak, baby!) and during my Play On session I went to Germany which was life changing! Sambas EVERYWHERE!

In terms of your professional life you have had many significant experiences in the year. The affected me by creating growth and fulfilling dreams. We have had battles with the word grateful. We have landed on its a state of being and not a transaction. At times there's relief, resent and inspiration.

Well, October 7th stands out as a significant experience, both personally, and also globally. I remember being at home Friday night, trying to decide what movie to watch on Netflix, when it started, and how I didn't go to sleep until the small hours of the night. I remember that the next day, and on Sunday too, I was completely subsumed by the news coming from back home, worried to my stomach for my friends, family and country. I remember seeking comfort from people. I went to Aimee, who held me listened to me, cried with me and helped distract me. I spoke on the phone with my family, friends, and people I hadn't spoken to in years, decades. It felt good to try and make sense of it all through talking with others. There was strength in all of that. There is gratefulness in those moments. I feel grateful that I was able to be of help, comfort and support to others. I was glad that I could offer Mayim a place to stay during those crazy days, and that in return I got to meet Rachel.

Wayne and Little Karl were protected and their lives saved by God in the auto wreck just 5 days ago. Rick lived with me last winter. It was a disaster. Donnette died August 29, 2024. It still does not seem real. David Pecou died of an overdose. It makes me feel so bad for Susie and brings more to the forefront the ridiculous danger that Wayne is putting himself in. Brenda Sustrunk almost died of COVID but finally got able to start calling me on the phone again and now she had a urinary tract infection and it has caused her confusion that she's not been able to get over yet so I haven't been able to talk to her on the phone for well over a month. She is just not bouncing back mentally this time.

One of the most significant experiences not only in the last year but also one of the most significant experiences in my life was the death of my cousin Ryan Chapman. This has affected my life and my family's lives in so many ways so far but I know it will also affect my future in many ways as well.

The birth of two more grandchildren has had a profound effect on thinking about my own mortality and priorities. It has made me extremely grateful and hopeful for our future.

I had my beautiful daughter: one of my lifelong dreams came true!

I got my drivers licence. It makes me feel like an adult driving around in my car and offering people rides. I am very proud of myself for finally doing it and also how efficient I managed to make everything organizationally.

Moving Mom to a to a retirement home. Thrilled that she is happy. Reminded of my own mortality and need to take care of my own business.

I went back to therapy. It has been incredibly insightful and really think that’s it’s helped me heal some complex trauma that I’ve been through. I feel hopeful for the future and more capable than before.

So much has happened this year. My youngest is preparing to graduate high school and head off to Israel. My middle child has withdrawn from college for the year suffering from the effects of antisemitism on campus and a sense that her confidence in her ability is misplaced. My eldest became engaged to her non-Jewish but nice partner. My spouse was laid off and opted, at 69, to retire. He’s taken up gardening which is keeping him busy and preoccupied. These are all monumental events and would be enough independently. However, the biggest thing to rock my personal world (separate from Israel and antisemitism) is being laid off. I loved my job. I was successful and respected and engaged. I was accomplishing good stuff and made others feel included. But the new owner bought us for scrap. Now at 58 I’m having to start over and look and am thus far having no luck. I’m resentful of the new owner’s outlook. He’s a manner of the first order. I’m resigned to a search. I’m fearful that we’ll be without my income and benefits. I’m anxious about what the next thing might be as I’m getting closer to retirement age and to people not wanting to hire someone of my generation. I’m relieved that the waiting for the shoe to drop is over but I really just wish I could wind back the clock. I’d even return to the long daily commute if only I could go back to doing my job, getting my salary, and keeping everyone and everything afloat.

Sydney Getaway!! 🛩 13-18 March 2024, I went to Sydney with my best friend and ticked off quite a few things on my bucket list! •The trip itself •Cruised on the ferry and saw Sydney Harbour Bridge & Opera House •Went to Toronga Zoo •Went to an AFL game •Celebrated St Patrick's Day •Got a tattoo I am so happy & proud of myself for doing it. I'm so grateful that it happened. I'm inspired & determined to do it again. ❤️💝💖💝❤️

I got a job serving as rabbi for a congregation I love! This opportunity came to me while I still have a year left of study, but it is such a good fit for me that I am happily taking on the challenge of being a full-time student and serving as rabbi. I feel grateful, hopeful, honored, and thrilled. Being in this role lights me up!

Israel was attacked and then entered into a war which it appears to be expanding on multiple fronts, continuing a cycle of massive death and destruction. I find myself questioning my own Jewishness and the connection to Israel that sits at the heart of Jewish identity. Questioning the motives behind the original writers of the Torah, the emphasis on Jews being "chosen" and special, the story of "God" bringing the Jews to live in Israel. What about the people who were already living there? I feel disconnected from and even a little repulsed by other Jews. I feel skeptical of almost everything in Hebrew in the liturgy. When I lived in Israel I felt I had found a way to connect with my Jewish identity as a secular ethnicity, and now even that feels under question. When I think about these things, I feel like I'm carrying around a heavy weight in the pit of my stomach.

I think I have been in denial a bit about how much October 7th and the subsequent war has impacted me. Its changed my connections to community, my judgements, forced me to clarify my feelings and opinions, had me feeling not enough and also like I'm doing a great job, feeling immense grief and longing, plentiful apathy or distance... I am grateful for the process but would rather have the 40,000+ lives instead of this personal growth.

Cecilia's loss, of course. Devastating but also numbing. Felt very held and supported by people who showed up in wonderful and unexpected ways, especially Rachel putting together the shiva. The funeral was awful, especially navigating the public / private mourning experience. Her loss brought me closer together with Nathan, who I expect will be in my life for a long time. I allowed myself to lean on others and accept help in ways I have not before.

Lola and Ruby both left the planet. With Lola we gathered - me, Anna, K, Nick and most importantly, Finn. We had Dr. Vanessa Wensing from Heaven from Home with us and the ceremony was beautiful, amazing and there were many tears from me as we said goodbye. Finn laid there and as she left he lifted his head. Vanessa pointed it out and said she sees it all the time. It is October 12, Finn is still the only pet and we miss Lola all the time. Ruby who died a month and a half later - got off the couch, passed on the floor - Anna found her while I was in Conference Zoom (on a Monday) was 18 - I thought she would be with us into her 20's. Our girls. So loved. I loved having the three critters. For a while people would ask me on Zoom where my cat was - she would sit there and just look at me. I miss them. I love animals, have my whole life. So grateful for them. Finn is a wonderful solo animal and I think having a buddy in his life will be wonderful, when it is right. I miss you Lola and Ruby. All the time.

I flew! I asked for what I thought I could handle, and I managed some of it. Letting my kid solve the problem of what her life's for, because that is her problem and G-d's problem but it's not my problem, and leaving the job I always wanted until I did the thing I always knew I could do, freed me to find the work that I am here to do. I'm grateful I got this year, though there are many things I'd do better if I could.

That is an easy one to answer. We've moved to the UK. It's so strange to read my previous answers and not see anything mentioned in there about potentially moving. Just ' research our options for the future'. A year ago this wasn't even in our plans yet. We just moved and we did know that moving to Heeze was one of our last shots we'd take at a life in the Netherlands together, but damn. I don't think either of us expected to move to the UK within a year. Or, well, within half a year, really. Luke and I started talking about it around the end of the year probably. November time maybe? At the start of the new year Luke started applying for data jobs in the UK. But he quickly found that he didn't feel confident enough and saw a job vacancy at Pragmatic. A company he has wanted to work at for quite some time. It was actually his other option before coming to ASML. From that application onwards it went REALLY fast. Basically within a month or two we knew we'd be moving this summer. And then when the company pushed to get it done quicker we were moved before the end of May. The VISA experience wasn't amazing, though with the help of an agency it went quite smoothly. It's been a rollercoaster. I love it and some days I hate it. I'm now a flight away from friends and family. But I now live with my own little family in our dream home. In the hills, which has always been a dream. One day I'm happy and in love with my life here, the next I'm grieving, the other I feel guilty... It's been a hard ride. Never thought i'd feel all those conflicting emotions. It's been harder and at the same time easier than I imagined. But it's been all worth it because we get to build our own little family in this heavenly place.

Jon has been in Poland since late April and he’ll be there until late march probably. Though it’s very hard to live without him it also afforded me the chance to spend the entire summer in Cincinnati with my family which was incredible. In this army wife life I have to roll with the punches but it is absolutely not all bad, some pretty amazing things have happened as a result of this strange lifestyle and I wouldn’t change it.

7 October. It has cast a cloud over everything. It has driven communities apart and pushed peace further away than ever. I really worry for the year to come.

I finally I'm willing to accept that a person in my life is extremely unhealthy. I fought it for decades. I keep thinking that if I try harder, communicate better, listen more etc etc that it would get better. I've tried to the point of exhaustion. I did it because of three children involved. But I recognize that I can't save them. And I'm killing myself. What I can do is pray, but beyond that, there's not a lot I can do. I guess when I'm trying to say is that I finally have acceptance about a situation that I have not wanted to accept. On another note, I'm astounded at all the people who are coming back into my life and the people who are currently in it who are moving out. It's sort of a weird dance. This year has brought people back into my life that I haven't seen in years - - and at the same time other people are becoming people I don't really know - - and people I don't think I really want in my know. I'm not going to jettison a 40-year friendship. But suddenly it's importance has just attenuated. Someone showed up 18 months ago and kicked my house of cards. It's been hell. But it was like finally the facade that I have about my life, the things that I didn't want to see that were right in front of me, I could not avoid any longer. I don't think I've ever had such challenging time in my life. And I know I'll come through it okay. But, it has really really tested me. And changed me. And that's tough. I'm grateful. But, God it has been so freaking hard.

Health problems plagued me this year and I am thankful for the doctors and nurses who worked so hard to heal me. I wish there was a way for me to thank them.

Wow, so much. First child! Founded Co-op, became home owner! First foreman for home build! First month long trip to Mexico How has all this affected me, jeez, hard to even comprehend. I'm different, pretty sure. Obviously I know more about all these things, so I have more confidence and joy, less anxiety around these things in particular. Have they changed me deeper? I still connect with that servant horse animal spirit card deeply. I think more than ever being in service to uplift the well being of others feels like my M.O. It still takes a lot of effort, and room for growth around how to balance peaceful & joyful self service as well as collective uplift, but that can be the theme of next year. This year the significant experience was learning to be the pack loading horse, and find the power available there.

I received my green card. Relieved is definitely the feeling - It allowed me to leave my current place of employment and begin a real career.

Our grandson started school at age 4. He is ok but because his parents both work and we don’t live near them he had to go to after school club. It made him very sad at the school bell when other kids went home and he couldn’t. I feel very sad these days that most children are looked after by people other than their parents because couples both have to work to afford housing.

Well, I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma -- bone marrow cancer. It has changed every facet of every aspect of my life. It is almost unquantifiable the way this has affected, impacted, hampered, hindered, frightened, emboldened my life. I have received it, and now that I have this elephant of a "thing" I am figuring out what tools I need to beat it. Is it a curse or a blessing, and how am I to know?

Oct 7 that happened just after the last year NY. We were in the family acro yoga festival in the north and since then it seems everything changed. the sence of saftey, the sence of security- all broken. at the same time its also made me see how important are connections and helping hands and community and its shown. my feelings are so mixed. i have a lot of pain, and anger and resentment for the terroirsts, the government while being inspired by the people who give helping hand, the families of the kindapeed who so many of them are super inspiring.

Willow died. It was awful. I am forever changed. I learned a new, sweet, close level of love and bonding from him. He was my sweet, precious boy. I am deeply grateful for the time we had with him, especially what felt like extra time over the last several years. What a blessing. He was such a sweet and loving soul. I miss him everyday. But he was so sick in the end and I am glad that he is no longer suffering.

We were on a cruise, and it was our anniversary day. Unfortunately, it was brutally hot, and we spent the day outside. I came back to the ship and went into afib, ended up spending 3 days in the ship's infirmary and being put on a very strong drug. That was two months ago, and I am still on that drug, and waiting for an ablation. How did it affect me? It made me feel frightened and anxious, but also hopeful that the ablation will help.

While it wasn't to me, October 7th changed everything. What it means to be Jewish. What it means to be a member of our synagogue. What it means to feel a sense of loyalty or love of Israel. I still feel floored by the gravity and horror of it all: the unthinkable scale of death in Gaza, the hostages still underground somewhere a year later. Now, Lebanon and Iran. Never ever did I think that this is where we would be a year later.

Sue’s hip surgery. Reminded me of how much I appreciate all that she does day in and day out, since I had to do many of her activities while she was recuperating.

Hurting my back and neck these last few months has been difficult...I've had to change how I do almost everything, most everything is slower and yoga has completely changed...it has been cool learning more about The Alexander Technique, Acupuncture, and Chiropractor work...as well as learning how to control the nervous system and live with pain....accepting the body and person that I'm now rather than being resentful about how I can't do this or that anymore seems to help

October 7th, the Hamas massacre. It gave me a sense of despair that all of my interfaith work through music would be put on hold indefinitely. So far, that is true, although I am making attempts to revive it.

This year is the year that we became parents, finally after so much hoping and waiting and wishing and worrying and wondering. We matched in March and spent three months with our fingers crossed, cautiously optimistic — and then, on June 19, two weeks before his due date, on the anniversary of my dad’s death, our son was born in Florida, and we got to take him home with us two days later. It has been a beautiful, chaotic, exhausting, joyful four months since. This is a year we will remember for the rest of our lives

I fell and lost significant function of most of my limbs for several months, making me dependant on others. I learned how to think about slowing down--but I haven't removed urgency from my diet. I resent my continued hurdle toward disability, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to settle into this new way of being with more resources, more experience, and more support. I understand my body more. I have more empathy for other bodies.

Obviously 10/7. I’m devastated.

A friend got cancer. I am confused and scared and feel guilty that I don't want to continue our working relationship the way it has been... and just want to be her friend.

I finished my schooling and started a business. It has been transforming and challenging and I’m almost proud of myself. I am also growing deeper roots for myself inside and out, with spiritual and sensual work and community connections.

The loss of my cousin. Unexpected and a real wake up call to cherish life. Although my mind set is one of cherishing the moments and making the most of everything, a real reminder that tomorrow is not promised. Also, an unusual health experience of mine left me wondering a little? And again, a reminder that you never know what is around the corner.

Obviously October 7. It feels like the last year has been one single event which has intensified. Like one big long horrible workout that didn’t get any easier and is no closer to ending. It doesn’t feel like there have been any nuances. It has been a barrage. For me personally, being doxed and receiving death threats and my business being targeted stood out but they’re small fry I suppose. One thing that has changed is my emotions and reactions. I’ve gone from education and compassion to anger.

After a year of health issues restricting how much I could do, I finally appear ready to start building my endurance up so I can improve my physical health and work on long neglected tsks

My brother in law died suddenly and unexpectedly on his birthday. It has significantly changed my life, reminding us all that life is fleeting.

There were so many significant events this year, but I think I’ll choose the one that has had to most positive affect. This year, this week actually, my friends, particularly Caraid, Dan, and Andrew, helped me raise money to receive cancer treatments here and abroad. Within the first 72 hours of the campaign we raised almost $17,000 and a lot is still to come. What was significant though was not the money itself but the enormous outpouring of generosity and love, both from cherished friends and from those I knew even just casually many years ago, who I had no idea remembered me fondly or gave me much thought. Even people whom I might have thought I was estranged from or with whom I thought I had a subtle falling out. It was a remarkable thing to watch unfold and there are no words to fully describe it. Not only am I feeling grateful, relieved, and inspired, but I feel reborn into my human family, really understanding for the first time the extent to which the stories that play out in our heads are just that, and that the love that connects people is eternal and friendships are worth affirming and celebrating at every opportunity.

Both of my parents moved to be with me in Seattle and then they both died 4 months later. It was so unexpected for my mom. My dad died 19 days later after my mom after 61 years of marriage. I am still reeling from it. I am glad the difficult times are over for them, but sad that they are gone. Aging can be so hard on everyone. My mom left saying I had a good life, which was a gift to hear. I think it's given me a more fatalistic perspective on everything as well as a renewed sense of gratitude for the small, beautiful experiences as I know it can all be so fleeting. I miss them and want to cry with every kaddish.

I started a new job and obtained a new credential. I am hugely grateful that I have a new way to help people, and relieved that it's still possible.

Losing Maya’s mother was tough this year. In one sense it was a relief as Roza had been living in pain for so long. In another sense it was hard because I’ve never been so close to death. Roza was so frail in the end and had lost a ton of weight. It happened quickly, relatively speaking, in the end and it didn’t seem like she suffered too much. It was just her time. It did make me think about my own mortality and also a lot about how I remembered my grandparents and what this meant for my children. Would they remember her? What did her life mean to them, to me, to the world? What did it all amount to ? I was grateful for her change in identity towards the end, constant appreciation for me and my efforts, softening of the heart, and finally accepting me as part of her family. She knew I would take care of her daughter and this meant a lot me. I feel like I have that responsibility to carry on now.

I lost my community. All of it, collectively. I still belong to individuals, but the larger community which surrounds people and spaces evades me. I have lost many to ableism, inconvenience, our own pain between us. And I pine for what I have apparently lost, or something new to take its place. And I'm frightened of connection now, jaded about trying to create or reach out for it. My efforts so far have fizzled, and my heart hurts. I don't have an answer yet. I know there must be better than this out there. Did you find it??

I got a job! It’s such a relief tohave my own money coming in!

I found out I am underpaid against my male coworkers 60 cents on the dollar. I am livid that companies don't have to display what the pay discrepancies are and I am finding ways to shut off work - it takes time, but the focus is on delivering what they pay for, not what I am capable of

This year, I finally quit working at Saha, one of the yoga studios. I realized two things: first, the owner Kathy was triggering a lot of stuff related to my mom, and second, it wasn't a place where I felt valued or respected. I've left jobs before when I felt that way, CPY for one and 360, but this time I did it much sooner and with the other two they were slow firing me anyway, my leaving was a bit of a non-starter. I'm ready to move on to the next chapter.

bought the cottage - relieved as it is in a place that is safe from what may come. and it turns out to be a sweet, pretty, and peaceful place.

Parenting and continuing to learn how to be a parent and transform into a mother was the most significant experience for me of the past year. "Transform" is the word that comes to mind right now; I really do feel that I have changed and grown immensely. It's been difficult, and challenging, and there have been many tears and frustration along the way, but I do feel so very grateful and fulfilled by being amazing little M's mama.

The most significant thing that happened was the Hamas attack, then Hezbollah attacks, then Iran and the Houthis. This all was followed by world-wide condemnation of Israel.

Gosh, nothing as significant as years past - marriage, the births of each of my children, and the death of loved ones, the discovery that my grandmother had adopted out a child. I would say one significant experience was accepting a new job that was really much more challenging interpersonally than I expected. The gratifying part is that I realize I have so much value to add and still have the ability to work at a high caliber, even with two small children. I've also learned more questions to ask before beginning a job. On another note, my older son Leon learned how to read after two years of hard work. This was very gratifying!

We are having trouble with the aging of our house, and we had to make repairs. I didn’t plan for these expenses, but we have learned to make such plans/savings so we can make repairs without much financial distress. It was interesting to learn how - no matter how much you plan - God laughs!!

I traveled to Switzerland for the first time in two years and it was one of the best vacations I ever took. I didn’t want to go and even at the airport I felt I was making the wrong choice but right from the get go, arriving in Zurich and finding my way to this women’s only hotel, it felt good. I swam in the river and made my way to Baden the next day where my sister paid me a surprise visit. There was one magical moment after the next and I feel crushed that I am back.How ungrateful . The trip was different in that this time I discussed expectations with my sister. Every time I visit I worry about my freedom and if I’m offending my family by going off and doing my own thing . This time I discussed expectations with my sister about my visit and I’m so glad because the guilt I’d felt on previous trips was assuag ed. I feel very grateful for the experience. And relieved that I talked about expectations. Thank you, Brene Brown! I only felt resentful before I left because I’m the only sibling that regularly travels to see family. It feels like it’s always me, spending money for airfare, hotels, gifts, boarding my cat…but I feel inspired to take next summer off and travel’round Switzerland and bask in its lakes and hike along its mountains. Life is short!

premiering my documentary about cacilhas and seeing that the screening was sold out and people were sitting on the floor. i was so nervous that i didn't see anyone and when i spoke, i didn't even have any saliva in my mouth. i'm very grateful for all the team's collaboration, i was moved by people's attention to the film, and by the film's recognition as a local product of relevant cultural interest

I confronted a Palestinian-aligned Lebanese Arab man at the Temple at this year's Burning Man, while in an expanded and heart-opened state, and said to him "I'm sorry for your pain," and we connected. I refused to engage in political discussion or debate. It planted a seed for me of something that is still mysteriously unfolding in my nervous system around deep healing and inner peace-making and expression, which included sending a message advocating studying the works of Thomas Hübl and Arnold Mindell to the head-of-school rabbi of my former Modern Orthodox Jewish high school.

Probably Oct 7 and the overwhelming stress and anxiety from it. Sympathizing, of course, with Palestinians, especially mothers and children but also upsetting that I have to qualify my fear and sadness over the loss of Jewish lives. In the quiet of putting my kids to sleep, having unstoppable thoughts of imagining me and my kids being kidnapped and held hostage; unable to stop from thinking of what i would do if an attacker came into the synagogue during tot shabbat...the heartbreak of Hersh not coming back when I really thought he would. And the numbness because it's all too much pain to bear. And the guilt of feeling like I'm not doing enough or learning enough and the balance of speaking out but also protecting myself.

My older brother suddenly died. I still have a hard time getting through the day and being ok about losing my best friend and the institutional memory of my family.

I had a series of unfortunate events that occurred back to back from January-March. I was resentful and tired for a very long time and it began leaking into my academic life. I still feel the grief and I know it won’t go away, but I’m hopeful that I’ll only grow stronger.

My mother in law's cancer diagnosis. It really rocked all of us and because it was so unexpected. It has made me think about my own mortality and spirituality.

The most influential event of the past year was my first Covid infection in January 2024. I became very ill and it's taken 9 months to even feel a little better. I'm very resentful of how others have had seemingly easier infections. It's become a part time job to manage my Long Covid and try to advocate for care to manage my symptoms.

I got engaged! It solidified a part of my future. I feel like it not only made a lot of my future personal life clear, but it crystallized the other parts of my life that I’m not getting the most out of (work, etc). Bringing those boats up to this rising tide is a goal going forward, especially as I build a life with my future wife filled with happiness.

I went through menopause. I am a bit relieved. A bit sad. A bit confused and mostly just angry at how unavailable quality care and information is on this subject. Previous generations of women basically ignored this major change in their bodies and their lives. And now my generation is finally paying attention and there is very little research or medical professionals who know much about what to do. It’s shocking and enraging.

I can't think of anything singular except for the election. It hasn't happened yet but it has still taken up a significant amount of brain space. It's everywhere in the news, on social media, in conversations, on billboards and neighborhood signs. Even if Trump does not win, the fact that this is a close race and so many people support him is terrifying. Our next door neighbors put out a Trump sign and we immediately got two Harris signs. Just the thought that anyone can trust him at all is so incredibly depressing. Professor Lichtman, who developed the thirteen keys, has predicted that Harris will win, and I hope like hell that he's right.

I’d have to say the most significant experience of the past year was completing the Codesmith bootcamp. I have very mixed emotions about the experience. Not because of the day in day out schedule but wondering if I made the right choice going in that direction. I’d believed that getting my first job wouldn’t be as hard as it’s been. I’m hoping this all turns into more of a language school-type experience, by which I mean that I initially regret my choice only to have a delayed positive effect that ends up reaping years of great side effects. There are a few reasons I’ve been questioning that experience. First, I hadn’t realized how difficult the market is for breaking into software engineering right now, so I feel a little tricked. I don’t know by who. Maybe everyone I talked to? Definitely Codesmith a bit. I just didn’t really know what I was getting myself into, which often makes something much harder for me to accept afterwards. This is also the first time I have no deadlines, but work it would be beneficial only to myself to complete. This is how I discovered I have ADHD. Which actually may be the most significant experience of this past year. It’s been through this struggle that I’ve realized it, but perhaps I needed this time to learn this essential truth and hopefully have new tools and ways of self-relating that will benefit me for years to come. So as always, I’ve realized that this struggle is likely essential for it’s own reason.

The world changed this past year. On simchat Torah I was woken at 6:30 by sirens. I was staying at Ariel and Uriya’s place in Herzilia and didn’t know where their safe room was. I knew the world was changing and we needed to recalibrate to the new reality and that it wouldn’t be a comfortable one, but I had no idea that it would be this. That it would be so personal. Yes resentful, angry, confused, deeply saddened, full of constant grief. It’s at the back of every decision I have made this year. But yes there is also some other feelings I can’t quite name. That the status quo has been up-ended, shaken, burnt, bombed. There will be a ‘new’. Can we make it a new that we want to live in? It’s forced the aspect of my identity as Jewish and Israeli into the forefront, when I wander the world, and wander within, where it has never been the first words I use to describe myself.

One significant experience I have had in the past year was riding the Great Divide Mountain Bike Route (GDMBR) with my mom. As of this writing, it's October 11, 2024, on a Friday. We returned home on the 5th and officially finished riding on the 2nd. It affected me by showing me that not only I but also my mom and I can do hard things. I knew before we started this that we could do hard things, but this was a whole new dimension. We rode it at our own pace and made goals for what we wanted to get out of it. In the end, we did take two shuttles to bypass two sections, but we did so to keep the experience enjoyable and fun, not painful and a hardship for us. It made me realize that in life, I don't have to strive for EFI, Every Fucking Inch, and that, in the end, it's my experience, and I can shape it however I want, even if it's not the conventional way everyone else is doing it. I feel incredibly grateful that my mom and I did this together. If I had done it alone or had someone else with me, the outcome would have been very different and, in the end, way less enjoyable. Another aspect of the experience is that I don't think there will be another time in our lives when we can spend three months together doing what we love most. I feel that is very special, and in the moment and right after it, I don't feel like I truly understand its weight. I hope with all my heart and soul that I will cherish that time with her for the rest of my life, even after she is long gone. One thing I want to relive during that trip is entering the Canadian Rockies and the sheer, pure happiness I helped seeing and goeth through the rockets with her, even if we were in a rental car. (I misread the question, so this last part is staying here... whoops)

10/7 was by far one of the most significant events of my lifetime, both physically, psychologically, and existentially. As a diaspora Jew, Israel is always in the background as a "safe place" if "never again" should be knocking at our doorstep. When the events of 10/7 unfolded, I was at work finishing a night shift and delivered my last baby of the shift when an image popped up on my phone of Shani Louk's broken and twisted body in the back of a pickup truck. My mind was too confused to begin to comprehend what I was witnessing. What is this? What am I seeing? How is this possible? The more details that started coming out, the deeper the pit in my stomach sank... I feared for my people, I feared for my family, and my sense of security and safety was turned upside down. I couldn't put my phone down, I couldn't sleep. I was writing to friends/family and checking in constantly. I had to do something with that excess energy and adrenaline so I immediately joined a grassroots activist group that was putting together names/photos/bios of all missing persons...what they were last wearing, where they were before they went missing... I was literally making profiles for children, for BABIES. For Kfir and Ariel and Avigail...while simultaneously not really believing this was real. How could it be? I called my sister, I called my friend Ben-- we all started working on this project and created a master spreadsheet and would assign each other names.... every time we would complete a few profiles, 50 more names would appear on the list... we created hashtags of #Kidnapped #Murdered #Injured #Nova #Beeri... trying to triage this mass catastrophe... images of those I profiled stuck in my head... when we would receive an update that someone was murdered, I felt the impact personally, directly... our own Hersh Goldberg-Polin was born in my city, at the very hospital where I work....it was all so personal... as Jews, we are truly a minority and these are our brothers and sisters, there are so few of us on this planet, so we feel what is going on in a way that is painfully palpable. Over the past year, I have continued to transform this surge of adrenaline into activism because I can't not do it...this activism, it's non-negotiable, its an obligation rooted in survival of the Jewish people. I am burnt out, tired, lonely, sad, but I don't give up because I see my brother or sister alongside me doing the work and I will never let them carry that load alone. I see our local 90-year-old Holocaust survivor attending city council meetings and getting heckled and jeered at and I will never let her face this level of absolute hatred alone.

I went through my first queer heartbreak this year. It has been absolutely devastating. But it means that I am putting myself out there for life's experiences, and that I have truly felt the depth of love that I never thought was possible. I'm finally being myself, even if that meant being vulnerable, new, and risking getting hurt. In the wake of the breakup it's asked me to truly look at the patterns I keep repeating, how I take care of myself, and what boundaries I set. While it's been so so hard, I still feel more myself than I ever have. It was a beautifully expansive relationship that changed my life, and I'm grateful for that.

Many things have happened this year that have shaped and changed me - sanded down the images i had of myself into a more refined, pure version of my 'self.' But I must say - one that's been most transformative - was the attack on Israel last October 7. My entire world has fractured since then; my Jewish community, my Israeli community, my sense of my peoplehood and belonging, my connection to Judaism. it has been clarifying, heartbreaking, difficult, all at once. i pray that this time next year there is peace in the Land, and peace amongst Jews.

I struggle to find an answer that isn't October 7th. This day really changed me and changed the way I see the world. It was such a terrible and overwhelming day and it never really seemed to stop. It has brought so many hard conversations and hard truths and education. It made me see my friends differently and it made me see the world differently. I now feel closer to Jews and to Israel, and also farther from others . I feel so much hurt for the entire war and just wish it was over and that we could live in peace. hopefully next year.

Cancer. Relapse. This time with a 6 month old and a 3 year old to contend with. I was in a state of disbelief when Gareth confirmed the result. How could this happen? I really thought I'd done the hard yards with round 1 (going through it while pregnant and with a newborn!) and was now in the clear. It's rocked my sense of assurance that health is a given. That's for sure. I've become more impatient - I want the nice house, travel, great career all now, in case life isn't as long as I'd always assumed it would be. It's shown me what a bloody incredible village I have around me. Geez louise did my friends step up. That was really affirming. It's given me a new level appreciation for the people I have in my life. Proved they're not just there for the good times. I'm still trying to make sense of what this was all for, and how I integrate the experience into life - something my psych said is important for post-traumatic growth. Hopefully this time next year I'll have that more fully resolved.

October 7th. I'll never forget waking up to the sirens. So much sadness, endless tears and heartache, and then witnessing the antisemitism and denial that came after. Like another punch to the gut. It made me change careers and join a nonprofit called Fighting Online Antisemitism. I'm still sad. I still feel like it is October 7th. I'm doing my best. --- A: Hmmm I don't know what to say about that... NOthing exciting happened this year. [makes siren noises] What do I have to say about it? THat it's fucked up.

I hired a therapist at the beginning of the year to help me deal with my relationship issues. Confirmed that I should expect to be treated a whole lot better than I am. Given the opportunity to move to a different state, I had opportunity to stay or go. Was great to have an unbiased friend (the counsellor) to help me talk through the issues. Surprisingly, I'm staying in the relationship, but I have higher standards and am empowered to leave if I'm not happy. I'm inspired/hopeful that my relationship, or my ended relationship will be a source of comfort in the future.

Jake and I got engaged! And planned (technically still are planning) our wedding. I feel so grateful to have found the person I want to do life with and excited for the future. And also pretty scared! Marriage, talking about buying a house next year, trying to have kids in the not too distant future - it's all both exciting and terrifying. These are all such adult things! And there are so many unknowns, so many questions to answer, decisions to make, paths to discover. Just weeks away from my wedding, it really does feel like I'm on the precipice of the rest of my life.

I became sober this past year. I was resentful for having to be sober doing it for other people, feeling forced into it but also scared of making this decision that felt like it would be an inevitable failure but I was also inspired by what my life could look like for the better without alcohol, I for the first time close to acknowledging that I may have a problem and feeling the damage it could cause me to myself and the people around me, I was rigoursly honest with random stranger in AA rooms and CA rooms. I lost my sobriety too this past year that was hard, it reinforced feeling of resentment further reiterating why I was so hesitant to do it. I found chosen family, do I lose them? I fell in love this year in a way I feel like I never have before though this has been a serial habit of mine and has occurred in the past it was the first time I dared to think about what a life with a person could be like outside of the social fashionable, it didn’t work out at, it left me in a lot of emotional turmoil, thoughts and feelings I forced to work through instead of burrowing deep.

October 7th was probably the most significantly difficult thing that has happened to me in the past year. After spending an entire month living in israel alone, it was the happiest I had ever been, I was flying, everything was great, I'd never felt so joyful in my life. And then I boarded the plane at 1am on October 7th and on top of the deep sorrow I was feeling leaving the place, people and environment I love, a terrorist attack happened, hostages were taken, women were raped, houses were burnt, missiles were sent, all to the place that was home for me, I didn't know how to tackle that while flying back home so I didn't focus on it yet, until my first full day at home, I couldn't get out of bed, I was sobbing all day, and the worst thing, was that noone could relate to me, not the Israelis, nor the Australians, I felt foreign to everyone. And then year 12 started, I was distracted all the time, I couldn't focus, I barely got any acknowledgement from anyone around my school. In english we were reading and analysing 1984, what a terrible book to read when it feels like that fictional book is actually real within your world right now. I was crying at the back of the class, every class. As well as my home country being attacked, I was separated from the guy I fell in love, Separated from the beautiful friends I had made who were hurting, who their friends were dying. I was smoking mercilessly every day, trying to escape, except it wasn't working anymore, it wasn't helping me, it just kept me down. So I went to an empower u weekend, one I was supposed to crew on and I told them, that I needed this weekend for me and they were obviously fine with that. And on the second day, the gratitude letter I wrote to my dad I said, I don't like who I am anymore, I don't like who I've become and I know you don't too so that's why I've decided to quit smoking, after 3 years, quit. And I did, and it's almost at 11 months clean now, no smoke has entered my lungs whatsoever. After that things were better, I could actually feel a little more, and obviously not everything's better, the war is still going on, 300 missiles were sent into Israel 2 days ago, it's about to be a year since the war, and that is absolutely gut wrenching, I miss my family, my friends, shaked. I miss israel, I want things to change, but there's not much I can do but hope and talk to them. So yeah, that's my most significant experience from this year. But I'd also like to add me graduating, it's been a long, stressful, emotional ride and I'm finally at the last stretch, I finished my final classes, I'm about to head into my final exams, it's all happening and I'm so proud of myself for who I've become, how I've finished this last year and how I did it for myself, not anyone else. And I've achieved so much!!

I broke up with Joni. Officially. It affected me deeply. I have never had a more significant change happen to me besides when my dad died. And in some ways, it has been harder to navigate, because it's less "final" than death. Grieving something that hypothetically can be reversed is a different kind of pain.

I gave birth to my third and final child - a son, my baby Bertie. It was a beautiful and peaceful birth and an easy recovery, and I am grateful beyond words for the body, lifestyle, and environment that allowed me to have this precious gift at age 41.

The Hamas attack on Israel Oct 7 2023 On the high holidays. I was shocked at the antisemitism shown in the USA. For the first time I didn't feel safe and secure here. Was disturbed (but not surprised) by the far left Democrates condemning Israel and supporting the PLO (Hamas). Brought back stories from my family of the Holocaust.

Omg so much has happened. Feels like the biggest is certainly Oct 7. Even though it didn’t happen to “me” it shook my family and our place in the world to our core. It’s no where near over, and our impact is minuscule compared to everyone in the Middle East. I’m so ashamed of Israel and its deteriorating democracy, and all the human rights abuses it commits without accountability. I’m so mad at all the “progressive” folks who have unknowingly made matters so much worse by supporting Hamas and Irans regime and spewing anti-semitism. This experience has left me sad, exhausted, feeling hopeless and also guilty that I am not more vocal within the nuance I know I believe in. It’s a dark, dark time indeed. I just have to hope that the few people on both sides of the conflict who are grounded in humanity, compassion, and vision can lead us all out of this to build a new world where everyone is safe, besides terrorists.

So many things happened to me this year I cannot choose. 1) Converting - I'm completely inspired. I feel like a better version of myself as I continue to explore what it means to be Jewish. 2) My brother's cancer diagnosis. I am very resentful of this. Or maybe not resentful that's not the right word. I'm humbled by it. It made me reflect on my own choices. My relationship with my brother. My priorities in life. It's not over and it is terrifying. 3) Our engagement. I was just telling my therapist today about the wave of peace that came over me when he asked me to marry him. It felt like a dream. Like everything was going to be okay and I sank into his arms. Since then I've felt so confident - not just in our decision but in myself. I feel like I can do anything with him in my corner, holding my hand through dark times, and I feel like we push eachother to be better versions of ourselves. I love him so much and God I am so thankful we found eachother

There are no words to describe the most significant experience of this past year. On Saturday morning, Oct. 7, the world woke to awful news coming out of Israel. The border had been breached by Hamas terrorists from Gaza. They came in by air, land and sea, and they murdered, raped, burned and beheaded hundreds of people young and old. They killed Jews and non-Jews in towns and kibbutzim along the Gaza border as well as revelers at a music festival celebrating peace. The terrorists took hundreds of people hostage into Gaza while videoing every act of violence they perpetrated on innocent civilians. It was truly horrific and as the day went on, we realized the magnitude of the horror. People waited for hours for help, but none came and many were eventually found hiding in their bomb shelters. They were either killed or taken away from their families and their homes by terrorists in the most vile acts of violence I had ever heard of. It was a true act of genocide. In the days following, videos emerged of “innocent” citizens of Gaza cheering the capture of hostages and of them beating the hostages as they were paraded through the streets. The world wasted no time in showing us again, how hated we truly are. The very next day, there were protests and rallies where somehow Israel was vilified and deemed the perpetrator and the Palestinians, the innocent resistance fighters. I have never felt more angry and scared than I have felt this past year. The West’s dismissal of the rise in antisemitism all over the world and their naivete regarding the Islamist’s ultimate goal is infuriating. Young people marching on college campuses alongside professors calling for the genocide of Jews, the media presenting one-sided perspectives and refusing to call Hamas a terrorist organization, people in seemingly every segment of society and in all industries turning a blind eye to antisemitism or worse yet, fueling the hate…it’s all too much. The one silver lining of this awful year is that Jewish pride is through the roof. It’s as if we finally all understand just how important it is for us to be proud, strong and united. So although this year has been very difficult on so many levels, it’s also shown us the beauty of our collective Jewish family.

Graduating from SUNY Plattsburgh with my undergrad degree. I never thought I would actually graduate from college, but I finally did, and now I'm studying in a Master's program too. I am beyond grateful to finally be here, even if it took 20 years longer then it did my peers

At the end of July, my mother-in-law had a stroke. A few days later, my mother was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and given a very grim prognosis. My spouse and I have been navigating the crises together while miles apart taking care of our parents. Both situations have (as these situations often do) have long-reaching ripple effects, many of which we were unprepared for. We have learned so much navigating healthcare decisions, other family members, stubborn parents, and all the feelings the situations bring on (and don't). I am grateful for my spouse and all the ways we can be present for each other and support each other while navigating a very uncertain future. We are frustrated, exhausted, scared, resilient, but even if we go all day without talking to each other, we call each other every night before bed and talk till 1 or 2 in the morning. I am grateful for my therapist, who has taught me to be okay with the way I am reacting or not reacting to things (that typically looks more like the latter), and how I am handling and coping with things. I'm not sure what word to give this feeling, and not sure how either or both situations will affect me and us. I enter the new year with a lot of questions and worries.

My dad passed. It's wrecked me and made me realize just how all alone and on my own I am. I'm grateful for the love he left behind and to have had such a powerful relationship with my dad. I'm not relieved, quite the opposite. Not resentful, or inspired, just really really heartbroken and sad.

Over the past year, both of my grandmothers died. I'm devastated. Neither of them died as the women I knew: One more physically, and one more mentally. I sent both of them a card in the days before they died, but I think that both of them were ready in their own ways.

After Oct. 7th, I experienced what perhaps Orthodox Jews experience daily, the recognition by others that I was Jewish and the personal feelings of those eyes. I'm a light-skinned Latino Jew and I never hide my Jewishness. If it weren't for my "chai" necklace, one would never assume I was Jewish by passing by. Yet, for the first time in my life, I experience intense gazes, darted eyes towards my necklace pendant, the self-questioning of whether having my mezuzah on my door (which faces the street) was safe anymore. I met the moment with courage and community and was inspired, more than ever, to be my most authentically Jewish self during a dark time for our people. Nothing was the same after Oct. 7th.

We paid off our mortgage! Something I didn't think would ever happen. A bizarre and surreal feeling. Feeling incredibly grateful 🙏

My fiance walked out. It took me a long time to feel comfortable again. But I feel sorry for him. He is severely mentally ill and he was unable to be a partner. He couldn't be there for me at my low and don't deserve to see me at my best.

My husband retired--finally. In a way, it was sooner than I expected, but it was the right decision for him. I was afraid "having him around" would make me crazy, cramp my style, whatever. But it's turning out to be a good thing.

Probably the most significant moment of this year was sending my daughter off to college 1000 miles away.

The shit that happened with that friend group. I understand how I could've reacted better in that situation and can move on from it knowing that there isn't much else I can say or do. They made their decisions and continue to act that way towards other people I'm friends with. However, I also got to meet a lot of people I'm close with now this past year and I am grateful that they are a lot more understanding of how I feel and where I am coming from.

Found out my husband has some cognitive decline. At first I was quite despondent, but then I realized that I need to figure out how to make the most of our remaining years. So, I am inspired.

Having a miscarriage early this year was painful and also brought me new appreciation and gratitude for healthy, successful pregnancies. The experience gave me new perspective on ways to be sensitive to the experience a woman might be having when trying to conceive and has encouraged me to keep that sensitivity in mind when sharing this subsequent successful pregnancy. Ultimately I'm grateful for the experience, as sad and hard as it was. Now that I'm pregnant with this baby girl, I can also see how the timing of that pregnancy (now!) would've been especially challenging for both me and Brooks's work schedules. I think the timing that worked out was ultimately for the best.

I brought 5 Monarch caterpillars to enclosed containers and nourished them with Common Milkweed, watching them emerge from their chrysalises into beautiful butterflies. Two sipped nectar from my New England asters and flew away. I feel grateful and feel awe at the miracle of cellular growth into beauty.

October 7th. A seismic shift in the world as it relates to Jews. We were attacked in our homeland on that day, and the attack was celebrated throughout the world, including at Columbia. This was such a difficult year for Jews. Our people were massacred, with whole families burned alive in their home. And 250 people were taken hostage. And then we were vilified for daring to take up arms and defend ourselves. This has been a terrible year but also one that has activated new communities and woken up Jews who were never strongly affiliated.

My husband and daughter were in israel on October 7th and had to run from a siren while I was 7 months pregnant in 33 degree heat, not knowing where the shelter was because we didn’t know the area. It was one of the scariest most helpless experiences of my life. I didn’t know how to protect my then 2 year old daughter. I knew I would actually slow us down and get in the way of her safety. As everything unfolded after October 7th I have felt my pain amplified by how much antisemitism there is in the UK, how little regard there is for the deaths of Jews or Israelis as long as people can feel smug about themselves. It has taken away a lot of my faith in humanity. I feel angry and hurt about that.

7 October is the most significant experience that the whole community has had in the past year. It has been a very difficult year to navigate this new environment post 7 October as a jew, as a gay man, and as a board member at Emanuel. I feel very conflicted and challenged in my safety, beliefs and people's support around me.

More an ongoing experience than a punctual one, I'd say the return of a part of me that I wasn't sure still existed. In the past year I've gained back my ability to get out of the house without it being a panic inducing event, to see my friends in public places and be able to enjoy it, not feel self conscious and enjoy the moment. My body and soul have been doing a great deal of healing in the past 4-5 years, and I know I've been saying that "I am doing better, little by little, even if it's taking a long time I can feel it" for a long time, but now I can really feel and see the accumulation of all these little grains of sand and the people I love and trust are telling me without trying to make me feel good that I actually do look much better. In the past 2 weeks I've seen my sleep improve drastically, my HRV scores are also doing so much better and even if I am pretty heavy in terms of weight and fat % (I hit 70kg which was my mental limit. thankfully I didn't go over it and am at 68.7 now...), I trust that improving my sleep and recovery will help me have the energy and mindset I need to start making more healthy decisions to bring down the number on the scale. An example that comes to mind is the week I spent with Julie in a lake house in Lantier, close to Mont-Tremblant. The ability to go swim with her in the lake, to be in a swimsuit on the pier and bask in the sunshine...I told her I was so grateful because not so long ago, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy this moment the way I did. To enjoy my body, the sensations, to relaxe physically and get pleasure from my skin experienced...it reminded me that bliss and absolute joy are possible and accessible. Also not feeling like a dry crisp on the plane to Canada and back felt so relieving. I am so proud of my body and my mind for pushing through this long but necessary phase, I know that if I managed to get through this, I can get through anything.

I lost someone I loved. I am grateful that happened because she is now happy and I'm also headed towards good things.

I retired. I’m grateful everyday. I’m able to do things that I’ve been putting off. I’m able to take my time and pay attention to my health. I can help my family and my community without feeling that I need to be working. I have time to do what I want to do.

Oct. 7th was crushing for Jews everywhere.

I lost my job. I broke down about it for a while, but it also lit a fire under me in a way. It was a blessing in a way because it helped me prove to myself that I have the resolve and strength to "make it", and I'm making more money now! I'm grateful it happened now that I'm on the other side of it.

I bought back the house I raised my kids in with my former husband. It affected me in an odd kind of way. I was unable to get myself engaged in unpacking and organizing -- I knew this house and I wanted it to be different than it was; however, I knew how to organize it, where to put furniture and kitchen tools, and beds, etc. Now, after a few months here, I am more ready to "live here". Perhaps I CAN do this!

October 7th. It has made me feel more connected to Judaism and my Jewish identity than I ever have been - but also recognizing that Jewish values mean to me. I've researched more about Israel, Palestine and Iran - and have a deeper sense of what is right and wrong. I've been able to develop and recognize a deep compassion for people from all walks of life. I've learned that the "enemy" is extremism -and all communities have it. I've learned that tribalism helps people belong - but can also lead to the dehumanization of others. I have learned that it is okay to not know - and to be humble enough to recognize not knowing everything. I have felt so completely lucky for my health, safety and way of life while simultaneously feeling incredibly sad and despondent for those innocents - civilians, children, animals - who suffer at the hands of tyrants - from every country, including our own. I feel hopeless about it - but also don't want to squander my freedoms - so really try to focus on what I have and what I'm grateful for.

Getting a new job at Ascendant has greatly affected me this year. I am no longer anxious about going to work and love my co-workers. I am inspired by my patients when I hear their stories and my co-workers' work ethic and career aspirations. I was looking for a job for a while when I was so unhappy at Cornell and I felt really hopeless. It is a relief to find a job that does not cause me stress. I love feeling like a valued member of a team and always supported!

I went all by myself to a butterfly center in Colombia and volunteered for three weeks. Honestly, it was so hard. One of the hardest things I've ever done. But it showed me how resilient I am and can be. It showed me my priorities. And it's been long enough that I even miss it just a little bit now :)

I learned that sometimes to have someone learn you actually have to not push them at all. If they're hurting so much that when you push, they'll push back - it's just not worth it.

This year I finally started working out again. I joined LifeTime fitness and signed up for the Pilates classes. I'm a little overwhelmed and intimidated by the number of people on the free weights floor of the gym, so doing pilates gives me a chance to just do my workout without worrying about the people around me and how they're in my way, or wondering how much longer they're going to take on a bench and if I'll be able to take that bench before someone else takes it. It's so annoying. I'm happy anyway at pilates because it should help to restore my pelvic floor, strengthen my core and improve my mobility. All thing I really do need. Plus it's fun, despite it being a class (I'm not a class person). I think what I'll do in the next few months is only do pilates once a week and hire a trainer to help me on the free weights so that he can deal with the logistics.

Hi 10Q - sorry for the hiatus. The world has sucked in a lot of ways the past year. Since I didn't submit last year I think it's fair to talk about October 7th here. Its amazing how something so traumatic can change your entire worldview. Sometimes I desperately wish I could go back to the world as I saw it October 6th, but at the same time I know I can't. I feel like I've learned a more real, sad truth about the world. But at the same time, life in Israel continues, and I've been able to find inspiration from yoga classes, protests, beach goers, Diaspora Jewry, and more. I feel like I have been able to make a difference, but still face disillusionment and trauma. It is hard for me to view the world as beautiful and expansive as I once did. I am trying, and I know there are beautiful people, but I feel that I continue to live in slight fear for just who I am. Life in post October 7th Israel seems to be a mix of fear, pride, cowardice, and strength. I feel both these extremes on a constant basis.

I went through a fairly intensive round of therapy. I went because of one particular situation that I could not wrap my head around and was surrounded by external stressors. But of course, once we got going, I was able to address many many other stressors and limitations that have been keeping me down. I learned so much about myself, and I do feel like I've changed for the better. I'm not perfect by any means! But I can recognize problems before they overwhelm me, and I am learning to be easier on myself. I am extremely grateful to my employer for offering this free counseling opportunity, because I would not have pursued help if it wasn't so easy to sign up. I am grateful to whatever higher powers got my therapist into this program, because she and I were a great fit, and she was wonderful. And I am grateful to all therapists who open their hearts to listen to struggling people all day and then help them. It has been life-changing. And I really think I can continue to carry these skills and tools with me even though I'm not in regular sessions anymore.

People I know and love are dying! It made me realize my time here is short. My time could be up at any moment. I have so much I want to do! Makes me panicky. PS. Those people are Pete Jacaty and Joan Gosnell, as well as Zac Crain. Lynn Johnson, and Roz' SON!

This year has been one of the toughest I can remember. I transitioned to a new job, grieved and questioned and grappled with my Jewish identity after 10/7, saw the loss of friendships and felt distance from people I used to consider close. Most significantly, I dealt with the unimaginable grief, pain, and hope of trying to become a parent. As Rosh Hashanah arrived this year, it also marked nearly roughly 1.75 years since my wife and I have tried to grow our family. Fertility treatments have ravaged my body, my spirit, and our finances. I recently said to a friend that I am having a hard time remembering what my life was like before we started trying to get pregnant. Through multiple IUI's, an egg retrieval, and two failed embryo transfers (one of which was an early miscarriage), hope seems to be getting farther and farther away. I try to stay positive - I believe in woo woo mind-body connection stuff - but also realistic, because it has been so painful to get my hopes up only to come crashing down. It has also forced me to take a look at myself and the way I communicate, and how I work to motivate change and action. After tense calls with medical providers, I wonder if I pushed too much? Did I not push enough? Will they think I am a bitch? Does it matter? What is the right balance between trusting those with knowledge, and advocating for yourself? Throughout this process, I have found myself wondering what I am missing, or what is missing from me. Am I too stressed? Did I eat the wrong thing? Do I not seem ready? Am I/are we not ready? Are we not deserving? This intersection of science and faith - two places where you normally seek answers - both seem to be coming up short.

So many things. I traveled with my sister. I changed jobs. I'm sure there is more. But for both I'm happy and grateful. The trip was my first big one since before the pandemic and it reminded me just how much I really do need big trips in my life. For the job change, it wasn't something that I was planning but it dropped into my lap and I'm really happy with the change. It is putting me back in the office a few days a week, but even that feels like a positive change. On the negative side, there have also been a few mild health scares this year (which have all turned out fine). But they are forcing me to take a better look at my health and habits in a good safe way.

It is quite evident that weather patterns are changing. We don't have any idea yet how many died in the devastation of Hurricane Helene in Asheville/ western NC. They are all so far inland, and in the mountains! It's not just coastlines anymore. Yet, are our leaders diligently working to change our laws, change with climate change to treat the world with respect? No. Not enough, not even close. It's just been announced that our plastic is not being recycled, most of it ends up in landfills or the ocean. How dare they lead us to thinking our city recycling of plastic is being recycled! These lies make people angry & resentful toward govt.

One of the most significant experiences for me this past year was the war. Serving in the military reserves, and maintaining my "normal" day to day job brought out stark contrasts. In the international juggling community, which I’m deeply connected to, some people offered their support and solidarity, while others distanced themselves, leaving me feeling isolated. On a personal level, the emotional toll on my partner during the terrorist attacks, coupled with the stress of bomb sirens, was overwhelming. These moments have made me more pessimistic about life, and it has noticeably deepened my struggle with depression. While I wish I could say I’m grateful or inspired, the truth is I mostly feel weighed down by it all.

I competed in my first strongman competition! And I won! It's been over a decade since my last sports competition, and starting out in the masters category was daunting. But I'm so proud of myself for trying something new and working towards a goal in a sport I enjoy.

A significant experience for me this year was my involvement with ADL and the Glass Leadership Institute. I felt immense gratitude to be part of such a supportive group, especially following the events of October 7, 2023. In the wake of the terrorist attack in Israel, I found relief in connecting with others who shared my feelings and experiences. The members of the 2023-2024 Glass Leadership Institute truly inspired me to continue advocating for the Jewish and Israeli communities. They reinforced my commitment to proudly share my joy and pride in being Jewish with the world. 💙🤍

significant event means it has significance. that could be many things. an especially significant event is harder to contemplate. was there any one "experience" that i can point to and separate from anything else? any particular person i met? any particular place i went? any particular emotional experience? yes. when i had that shuddering realization of some horror in session with ellen and ran into her arms crying. the feeling that there could be "something" some event, some series of events, some state, at the core of my self and at the beginning of my life that has dictated all my conscious and unconscious experience ever since. a deep sense of shame and that i don't belong anywhere. that i'm worthless and valueless. that there's something inherently wrong about me. i think this year was also the year i had the dream about ellen where she was going to kill herself and i sobbed and thanked her so much for what she'd done for me and wished she wasn't going to die

In October 2023, I started working for my dream company. I can't believe it's been a year since I've been there. I work with an amazing team. I'm so grateful for this experience and I can't wait to see where it goes.

i feel like it's hard for me to pick just one significant experience... the entire year has been is incredibly significant. ayla's gone from 6m to 18m and it's just been incredible and amazing and hard and so so so fun and wonderful. watching her grow and learn is possibly the best thing ive ever experienced. its so beautiful and im always in such awe of her, and so proud, and impressed.

My FIL is still here and in a much more advanced stage of dementia. I’m still uninspired but feeling hopeful because he will be in a nursing home soon. I’m not afraid to say that I’m done and I’m ready to have him move on. I love the caregivers but I’m tired of having them always be here. And I’m tired of my husband being tired and grumpy and escaping into his phone. He needs change, but is in no position to do so. It’s frustrating because I am holding it together and engaging with our family while he goes to bed early and doesn’t help with much. I do and don’t know what he is going through so I feel frustrated but also like I can’t blame him.

I attended a “grief group” for several weeks. It really gave me some perspective on my status as a woman in her 70s: people, including myself, are going to start losing things. We’ll lose our knees, our teeth, our smooth skin; we’ll lose our mobility, our independence, our minds; we’ll lose ourselves, one way or another, and none of this is exceptional or remarkable or special. It’s life. We are lucky to have gotten this far, in such good style! I could have it so much worse in terms of loss or other my own deterioration, I’m just going to stop worrying about it so much, and be grateful for everyone who is still around, and for those who aren’t, be grateful I had them as long as I did.

The most significant event happened: Lila was born! It’s been the most magical seven months with her. She’s the most magnetic, curious, and happiest baby. We are over the moon grateful for her and the time it took to get pregnant was totally worth it. Everyone is so in love with her, including Ezra.

Honestly, this has been one of the most difficult years of my life. So much strife at home. But at the same time, I went to Paris for two months this year and it was absolutely life-changing. I found out that I like to be alone, I found out that I like to learn. Just for the sake of learning. No ambition attached. I got my French better and I had a wonderful time working and living and just living by my own rules.

I broke up with my fiance naomi. No other experience has been so real and deep and personal as making that decision. No-one else had the answers for what was right except for me and I had to dig really deep into who I was and what is right for me. I am grateful that I made that decision and it was definitely against the current. I'm grateful in my own abilities and my whole support system specifically family for speaking up but also really trusting and empowering me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't still have dreams about her and didn't still sometimes think the what if I didn't make that decision. But the regret/resentment stems more from just fear of being able to find the one and less on what I gave up. And it's affect me above all else is on really taking control of my life. Really understanding deeply who I am and what I stand for and letting that guide me.guiding my own life. It really has powered me to know my life is mine. As simple and obvious as that sounds, I didn't internalise that until this experience.

On October 7, Hamas attacked Israel, brutally killing over 1,200 men, women AND children. They took over 200 as hostages, some from a peace music festival; others from 2 kibbutzes. They committed horrible atrocities. Since then, there has been a HUGE increase in antisemitism and violence both in the streets of major cities AND on college campuses. It has been a terribly depressing year.

We started traveling in earnest. We are 71 and 74, the time is now! We have been to Houston, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Boston. We are going to New Mexico next week. We hope to take a trip to Europe in the not too distant future.

I went to treatment in February. It was a great decision. I'm 8 months sober now, but I'm not "doing" recovery well. Or, at all. I'm still hanging by a thread. STILL PROUD THOUGH!!!! I just can't seem to figure out life. I'm making progress, but damn it's slow. I've only just begun to reestablish my career, finances, and work schedule. I'm still eating terribly, can't find things, angry at Bryan a lot, drowning in debt, gaining weight, my body aches, I have weird acne. I'm pretty unhappy. But at least I'm still sober. I think I am getting there. I'm not giving up, that's for sure. One thing at a time! It's been a hard year. But it takes time to rebuild. Let's keep going, Maria.

I signed papers to move to a 50/50 parenting time schedule with my ex. I am getting more time and capacity back to complete my Ph.D. It brings me joy to have more unrestricted time to dissertate. I'm sad we couldn't figure out a reasonable plan to protect my time when we were married.

Being a father to a toddler has been the most significant experience this year. Watching Oren grow and seeing the world through his eyes is the most fulfilling and inspiring experience of the year. It is so fascinating watching his mind grow and form connections. Watching him seamlessly switching between languages, seeing his real personify come through and just goofing around with him and seeing how funny he is. Fatherhood is both the biggest responsibility in my life and the most fulfilling aspect of my day to day. Regardless of how tough a day I've had, seeing his smiling face running around screaming around the house always puts me in a good mood. He's the reason I work so hard. I am so grateful that Oren is happy, healthy, and developing normally. He inspires me and brings light into my life, but I also find I am fearful of anything bad happening to him and desperately want to keep him safe and protect him. This is one of the reasons I find it hard to picture us moving back to the states with gun violence the way it is and no political will to do anything about it.

Oct 7, 2023 changed my life forever. I am still in mourning and have no other way to describe this year. I am constantly living in fear and on edge. Walking around feeling like most of the people around me don't like me and my family and my Jewish family for existing, for being Jews. It has made me double down on learning. If I am going to pass on this precious gift of being a Jew then I need to learn more and have more wisdom. I have turned to the wisdom of Jewish learning and scholars to make sense, to support, to offer comfort with perspective beyond mine. In Portland, the progressive group I thought I was part of has completely turned against us. I saw it at the Women's march but it was still fringe, not the center of it, and not its here and its big. I have this dual reality I live in where my everyday life is seemingly safe and wonderful. The kids are doing well. School is good for them, my job is whatever right now, our garden is gorgeous, we have great neighbors, we have made new friends in the Jewish community and I have worked to grow my connections here.... but on the other side of that is a heaviness I carry all the time. In spin class each morning I cry in the dark studio. It started with imagining myself in a dark tunnel with the hostages. That has lessened. It has been both not good and great for me. Its the only quiet time I just think without distractions. I cry on the bike. I get energy moving in my body, it helps me with anxiety. Nothing feels like more of a priority than Israel, its/our safety and security. It feels like family and I always felt kinship but I feel DEEP kinship. Every face of murdered Israeli looks like me or my kids and it could have been us. Then I just feel like Portland and the media have lost their minds and completely gas lit us and lent no sympathy and I needed that caring to heal. So I have to heal, we have to heal, on our own. I haven't shared with the kids because I don't want them to worry. I want them to have deep Jewish pride and joy before having to worry about the hate it comes with. We got into camp for this summer and that fills me to the brim for him to have that community to hold him. But I also feel guilt that I haven't been vocal online. That I have been afraid that it would hurt my new business, even though I don't want to work with people who don't like me because I am a Jew. I have tried to be a light for the people in my life, in person, volunteering for Federation and organizing shabbat dinners and bringing Jews together and supporting them. But it doesn't feel like enough. It is not enough until we are safe. Until Israel is safe.

On October 7th, Hamas attacked Israel. A year later I wrote and posted to Facebook: Thoughts on October 7th There’s a hurricane a brewin’ – out there in the sky There’s a hurricane a comin’ My! oh my! oh my! A year ago today War mongers had their way They attacked a music party where the young, the hale, the hearty had just come to play. They attacked the local towns who were waking up that day and not expecting mayhem on a morning Sabbath Day. The young, the old, The scared, the bold Israelis and strangers – None knew the dangers. One war started, and then there were two What, Oh What, can we do? Revenge, avenge, Kill and maim. Should we really play this game? While both sides might accuse, It’s the kids who always lose. There’s no way to avert How the innocents get hurt. So try, try! Be alert! Don’t shove peace down to dirt. Though right now the air’s bone-dry, Look for rainbows in the sky. There’s a hurricane a comin’ – out there in the sky. There’s a hurricane a comin’ My! oh my! oh my!

The significant experience is happening right now. Tropical Storm Helene slammed into us more than a week ago, on Friday, Sept. 27, and life has inexorably changed for our community. There is so much that is terrifying, but throughout I have felt such a sense of peace and hope - our community is coming together like never before. For the first time in my life, I find myself a refugee of sorts - our home and property is intact and our family is safe, but all the usual facets of our lives are upended. No power, no water, and for the first several days, little ability to communicate to our loved ones or the outside world. It's made me realize what matters, and even though the future is uncertain - my employment may be affected, my students' plans and lives may be upended, we simply don't know what's going to happen - I am so hopeful and grateful for the outpouring from literally all around. Our immediate community is pulling together, sharing communal free meals and sitting together at the wifi station and problem-solving and helping. Groups from literally around the country and around the world are arriving, serving food, rescuing, rebuilding, caring wherever it is needed. I am learning to rely on others. I am learning to accept help. I am also realizing the importance of offering help however I can. I am truly and forever changed. Out of immense tragedy, my overwhelming sentiment is gratitude.

I got a part time job, even though I'm theoretically retired. It makes me feel more comfortable about my finances and since it's about cycling and trying to reduce car usage, it's something that inspires me.

I landed a new job. This is the source of great relief and also new challenges. I've never had a role like this before and there is so much to learn. I am finding that it is hard for an old dog to learn new tricks...

A significant experience that happened to me in the past year is that I completed by first year of teaching. This experience affected me by giving me more confidence. I am very proud of myself for pursuing a goal, accomplishing it, and doing it well. I truly enjoy teaching and my students liked me. I loved them. It all feels right.

I had my work landlord up and take over my space without notice and without communicating well. This is a space that is not a lease but an hourly rental so is contracted in a different way. It is a tricky situation and requires a consideration of is the headache with relationships vs the potential of burning bridges or not having a space to use worth it? I noticed that I was able to handle this situation from a viewpoint that did not go down to my core worthiness or that did not get extremely emotional while trying to figure out the solution. This is a change. I am still frustrated with dealing with this person who is a poor communicator, however, having colleagues who understand how frustrating this is, and having a possible end date helps.

New job. I'm grateful, because it's back to being in the big time, versus the crappy startup I was at before. I just wish I had better company at this job- my individual team isn't very personable or positive about their careers. It's a little grating to get to a company I'm excited about and immediately get slammed with how awful it is and how I shouldn't have made this jump. They clearly don't get how much worse working conditions can be and it makes them sound entitled as hell.

There are a few that are coming to mind: son graduated from university (gap year for med school), our beloved dog is passed, mother sold home and living in senior housing unit, feeling empty nest more, spouse and I are embarking on next phase - and seeking support to do it differently. This last one is the one I think is the significant experience I’ll write about. And we’re still in it. To enter our empty phase with the intention to navigate it differently/better than previous shows our mature thinking and understanding that we’re not expected to go it perfectly. And to lean into understanding who we are today. We’ve both changed so much since we first met - and it’s a testament to our 23 years of marriage to genuinely enjoy each other’s company. I’m grateful to feel the love that is there - and even more committed to expanding/expressing more of it. Ultimately, I believe it’s about making it an intentional practice - everyday - that my part is to express my love for him so that he knows/feels how much he matters to me and who he is in this world. Yes - definitely inspired. And doing it in a way that it’s not about doing it perfectly, but about learning some effective ways and building more.

10/7. It changed everything.

Working in a new school; with wonderful staff and families. I am grateful for a supportive leader and director. I am relieved that I have a great job to go to.

I got licensed to foster children. The whole process of applying, training, and now fostering has been overwhelming for me. I feel all these things: grateful, relieved, resentful, inspired. And lots of other things. I am terrified of doing this without a partner. I haven't had proper job in over a year and the financials of it as also overwhelming. I am good at this, and I worry I'm not good enough. Can I meet the needs of these kids and also my own? Doing this full time costs a lot for me. I worry I don't/won't have the supports I need. I worry I will be left with all my buckets drained and won't be able to easily refill them.

too many to even count this year... 10/7, the genocide, and the many lives I've lived since then. the devestation, horror, confusion, rupture, pain, grief and even the seeds for new possibility in relationships, community and organizing life. I know this will change the course of my life and of the world around me.

We moved into our new house! The process took pretty much all year, from offer to keys. The family moving out were divorcing - the end of a family story, but it was also the start of ours in this home. Because the process was so drawn out, I felt like this house became our narrative, always the thing to talk about with acquaintances. No bad thing, but there was a lot hanging on this house to be worth the wait! Moving weekend was tricky, the man was unprepared to move out, he ended his days in this house living in the attic room with drink and music - separated from his family in the rest of the house. This delayed our move and made for a pretty disgusting room to have to sort out. But it also made me feel very grateful for our story - and the stark contrast that was laid bare in front of us that weekend. For John's approach to the situation - calm and determined to help him get out. For our friends that rallied round to help us move and to welcome us to the street. And the house for sure was worth the wait. Bigger and grander than I could have imagined being privileged to own, on a lovely street, with fab neighbours and a short walk to school and town. We've absolutely landed on our feet with this one - I'm extremely grateful for what we have here to call our home and excited for the parties and cosy nights and memories we will make here.

Realizing that I have been so emotionally cut off from myself and from my wife for the past several years was a huge wake up call. It was easy to pin blame on my wife's negative reactions to me, because she was also carrying her own emotional baggage from childhood. I had to learn that it's ok to accept and address my own faults without giving up who I truly am. I am grateful that we have been going through our struggles to get to this point and inspired to continue evolving as a better person.

The first things that come to mind are sports. I went to Cardiff to watch Scotland play Wales in the Six Nations - and we won! I've been going to Cardiff every two years for years. I think I started in 2008. And I've seen Scotland lose every single time - sometimes a heavy defeat. This year, Wales were in disarray and Scotland were on the up. And we won! It seemed too good to be true. I've been lucky to see Scotland beat England at Twickenham in recent years - as well as a thrilling 38-38 draw in 2019. These are some of the best sporting memories of my life - certainly in terms of being there live, in person at the event. Scotland took a big lead in the first half against Wales and then Wales came back into the game. I remember refusing to get up out of my seat to allow someone back in when Scotland were defending on their own line. (That's a really annoying thing about going to rugby internationals: the constant getting up and letting people squeeze past you to go to the bar for more drinks. I don't understand why people spend hundreds of pounds on tickets and travel and then just piss the day away getting drunk.) By the end of the game, Scotland were clinging on to their lead. Eventually, they won the ball and worked their way down to the Welsh line. I was screaming for them to kick it out: time was up, the game was over. By continuing to play, they risked giving away a penalty, giving Wales the ball and the chance to break for the winning try at the other end of the pitch. I was screaming so much I nearly passed out through lack of oxygen! I'm so grateful I got the chance to witness this rare event in person. It may not happen again in my lifetime. I'm also relieved to be following a team that has a chance to win more games than it loses. When you're Scottish and you follow the Scotland rugby team, you get used to losing and disappointment. As a result, any victory tastes all the sweeter. We pigged out on rugby this year. We also had tickets to Scotland vs England at Murrayfield. The first time I've been to a home came since I was at school in 2001. And Scotland won this one, too! It was a great day out. But going to two Six Nations game in one season is quite a lot. I've now seen Scotland win in Edinburgh, Twickenham, and Cardiff. Next year, we're going to Paris for the final game of the championship. I'm stupidly hopeful (mostly jokingly), that we could be watching Scotland play for the chance to win the Grand Slam. I doubt this, but can you let me dream? I've talked about going to see Scotland play in Dublin and Rome as well. Maybe we'll treat ourselves to those in future years. Another significant sporting experience this year is that the Washington Commanders are pretty decent (so far) in this young NFL season. We're 4-1 and have won four games on the trot. Our rookie quarterback, Jayden Daniels, is playing really well. Even our defense has been playing well the last couple of games. I'm trying to stay cool about it and enjoy it while it lasts. The NFL is, after, the Not For Long league: defenses will figure out how to stop us; we'll have injuries; form will dip; we'll be unlucky. But let me enjoy it in the meantime! If you wait long enough, things will get better. Scotland beat England at Twickenham. Dan Snyder finally sold the team and we seem to have appointed some coaches who are making the most of the talent available to them. I've loved sports for a long time. I love the stories around them, and the emotions; the history, the rituals, the traditions; the unexpected result, the lucky break. I went through a bit of a dip in the mid-2000s. It's hard to keep going when your teams are shite. But it also gets a bit repetitive and there are other things to do with one's time. I'm really lucky that Fran tolerates my interest in sport and is even learning to share it with me. She loves watching sports documentaries with me. And she finds ways to enjoy it through me. We both love the Tour de Frances and the Olympics. I love the drama and the emotion. It doesn't matter if the athlete is from "my" country. I love sport for sport's sake. It's also nice to be writing about something light-hearted and joyful this year; not the death of my big brother.

The October 7 attack has changed how I see Jewish security and freedom of expression. The Jewish people have always pulled through but the coming years look especially difficult

My heart has ached since the Oct 7 Hamas rampage on Israel murdering 1,200 at the Nova Music Festival and taking 250 hostages into Gaza, followed by Israel’s retaliation that has killed 42,000 Palestinians with the majority being women and children. Now with almost 2 million people displaced, my heart pain continues. I’ve always supported Israelis and Palestinians working together to end the agonizing cycle of cruel violence and war, like Parents Circle and Combatants for Peace. I increased my involvement with those seeking restorative vs retributive justice and I am heartbroken that they are living through such a dark time of despair.

We came back to Canada after "moving" to Abu Dhabi. It felt odd. We literally had no home. we stayed with friends and family. We travelled a lot, but I wasn't able to fully enjoy it. I was so stressed about work. Kristen was not working, so all income was on me, but we had no home. So I was trying to balance work while staying on couches and working in cafes in small towns. It was crazy. And very hard. It's sad, because it was a gift in a lot of ways, but the level of stress was so high I was not happy. It was a new challenge that I had yet to face. In that time, I found a month of deep work, and from that work I was able to boost my income quite a bit through TrueGenics and new partnerships. I'm not sure how I feel about it though. I'm now back in Abu Dhabi and it feels much more solid now. It doesn't feel like home, but less strange. I'm not sure what now. I am working on being calm and present so I can enjoy the process.

The only thing I can think of is 7th October and then all that came out after that. Friends in the army for the year. My brother in the army for the year. Reading the news about the bombs and rockets and the fighting. Just feeling afraid all the time. And then the rise in antisemitism around the world. Not feeling safe and not knowing who I could feel safe with. Watching universities be places that seem quite scary. Kids on buses getting hurt because of their uniform. Rallies around the world not only calling for a cease fire but calling for Jews to die. I have not wanted to be more in the Jewish community before. Wanting to be with people who understand what is going on for me, and not just a news story that is never ending.

Starting a vintage resale business. The business isn’t going too well so far, but I have learnt a lot through it and am still learning. I parted ways with my friend of 30 years. For once, I allowed myself to tell her that she has been mean and neglectful with me. Maybe we will still reconcile, who knows. But I feel like I've done the right thing.

Oct. 7 - still angry, stunned, worried that I still don't understand how I, the state of Israel and the Jewish people will be changed by this. I pray that we can be just and compassionate, but I'm still so angry.

Refinancing our home to a payment we couldn’t afford.

This summer Brooks and I went on a trip to Iceland. We spent 10 days in a beautiful country and hiked between 10-15 miles a day. We didn’t time just the two of us and time in a group hiking the Laugavegur trail. This trip inspired me (us) to travel more, take risks and explore places we have not yet been. My gratitude for Brooks and our marriage is immense. I cherish the time we had to reconnect on this trip. We travel well together! Doing simple things, holding hands while hiking, eating fish and chips, driving on a mountainous road, or laughing over something silly reminded me of the reasons that we love each other.

I feel that my dad’s sickness and the travel associated with going to see him was really significant. I felt that I stepped up as a family man and got to care for others well. It also left me needing to seek help emotionally.

My divorce case settled. Last year we had just started the court case after she refused to negotiate a settlement and sued me. It's been a long, annoying process. She's been trying to use the court to control and manage me. To hold on to me. To not let go. I don't begrudge her those feelings, and I sympathize, but it was time. I found a way to make an offer that she could accept and she did. I had no idea how much of. weight that was on my shoulders. When I got home from my lawyer's office after signing the papers, I danced and sung around my apartment for weeks. it felt like the proverbial weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. Last year, I started to explore me. This set me free to cut ties, to cut boundaries (and make my own), to discover the limitations I've lived with as part of a couple and within my marriage for so many years and rediscover the parts of me that I had sacrificed to become a part of that. I am learning so much about becoming me and exploring myself. I am also learning so much about what I want and how I show up in a relationship. I am resentful that I had to give up so much. I am relieved it's over. I am grateful for all that my marriage was and all that it made me. I am inspired and challenged by what I am becoming and the unknown ahead of me.

Just one significant experience? Mom passed in February, only living another 11 months after Rocky passed. Since then, I feel like I have been hanging on the side of a cliff, constantly scrabbling for a grip. Each day is a new chance to fight anxiety, and some days I actually can believe things are getting better. I lost my job, that was a mix of resentment and relief. I had become extremely unhappy there, despite knowing I had people I could trust, and I was earning the best paycheck I have ever had. However, that came just a month after Mom passed. It is 8 months later, I’ve enrolled in school again. Maybe I’ve gotten on top of that cliff now, but I am on the edge. The job I did find is about to end, and the uncertainty of what comes next looms around. If anything, Dad and I struggled through months of worry about his finances, and we finally are able to keep him afloat. Safe to say, my anxiety is at an all time high, and if I stay distracted enough, the pain of missing Mom and Rocky, doesn’t hurt so much.

My wife and I took a twentieth anniversary trip to Ireland. It was incredible. Two weeks without kids. Hiking 15 miles a day. Great beer, terrible food... The people were wonderful. I'll remember it for the remainder of my days. I'm excited about retirement. I like my wife.

I got diagnosed with ADHD - which we had suspected for a while, but it was good to get confirmation - and started medication. I'm grateful, but also tired; the work I'm putting into managing it is hard to make visible, and the progress is mostly easy to miss as well. Stuff like... lessening of conflict... NOT forgetting as many things... etc. Things I always expected to do/have, and that the people around me take for granted.

We traveled to see the total solar eclipse in April 2024, making a whole midwest tour out of it, visiting many people near and dear to us who we don't get to see on a regular basis. It was outstanding - certainly the eclipse itself, but also the opportunities it opened up to connect with folks and the excuse it created for us to visit otherwise less-than-destination-worthy locales.

ongoing genocide of Palestine and Lebanon which is heartbreaking and infuriating beyond the beyond

Finding community in resistance. Dedicating myself to Palestinian liberation. Discovering the power of anti-Zionist Jewish voices. Choosing to believe in a freedom that may come after my lifetime has ended. I am inspired and grateful, but also grieving and enraged.

I retired. It has been more impactful than anticipated.I do not regret leaving where I worked with the exception of seeing and interacting with my co-worker and close friend. I am still struggling with not having a "schedule." It is similar to when COVID started and adjusting to working form home and a different "schedule."

This year there are two significant experiences. 1. I retired which has me calmer, grateful, and relieved for now. I have time now to organize myself and my life in a more fulfilling way. 2. was our selling our house in Chicago. It was full of stress, anger and frustration all due to my husband. Luckily it did not break us up, but for a while I wasn't sure.

Struggling with friend who is in Texas - alone. As it turns out, she has a form of Alzheimer's, and I am working now, in an unofficial capacity, with her nephew, to get her up here to MN. It is a daunting, complicated dance. I am very concerned for her, since I was not present when signs were presented, and no one (up here) knows the extent of her affliction, nor the needs of the situation, ( other than to get her up here). I am also concerned for myself, since I am already stretched thin in the care giving aspect. My mom needs all that I can give, and then there's a husband of 86, my full-time job, the farm, and the preparations for selling the farm.

I am writing this on October 7, 2024. The last year has felt like one swirling intense pile of chaos when it comes to the way I have experienced the world, the way WE have experienced the world. I am grateful that I have not experienced that direct loss that so many have. I have not had the direct pain of losing my people. But we have collectively been watching grief. There is too much blood. There is too much.

My only daughter turning 18. I'm grateful, relieved, inspired, humbled, and sooooo much more. I'm realizing that my "formal" parenting time is done so now it is a question of if I've taught her enough, prepared her enough, challenged her enough. And now I have to learn how to parent her in a different way.

I decided to teach part time after retiring, so I taught two classes each semester. Each semester, one of the classes was nearly unmanageable. I have never had that kind of experience before. I heard from several colleagues that this was a fairly common occurrence. As a consequence, I have decided not to teach this year at all, and it remains to be seen if I will next year or not. I really do not think that I want to.

In the last year, I moved back to NYC to live with my partner. After years of moving around, I am relieved to be in a place where I can try to put down roots.

Have had several. Karl nearly died from a heart attack. Very significant in that it's had a big effect on our lives. Caused him to become very depressed because his activity was curtailed. But much better now. We moved from Tx to Pa. Very grateful to finally be out of Tx. But weird to move away from my kids. Daughter still in college. Son in Montana on temporary work. But i'm happy to start next phase of life.

The past year of my life has revolved around October 7th and the giant hole it tore in the fabric of my reality. Or rather, it unveiled the façade…a jewhate in my community that I didn’t realize so many of my friends possessed. While we are absolutely exhausted from having to defend our right to exist, it has only strengthened our bond as Jews, both in Israel and across the Diaspora.

My partner, the love of my life, at a tender age, was diagnosed with advanced cancer. I am full of grief, have discovered how graceless I am, find it a challenge to feel grateful and watch my partner deal with his own mortality and illness with far more grace than me, his loved one. In last year's first question I wrote about how he had changed my life. Now I am realising how terrifying a prospect it is for this man to face pain and sickness, because he has done nothing but put good into the world and all my notions of justice and fairness have disappeared. I have re-discovered God, maybe. I was crying on a bench in the park recently I looked to my right, through a group of trees, and the sunset shone through. I choose to see it as a sign. I learnt to pray, properly, for the first time since I was 20ish, and realised it isn't praying if you're begging for your partner not to suffer. It is praying to ask for compassion and grace for someone suffering, and ask for the fortitude to face your loved one's pain with grace. I have not achieved this. I'm scared witless and sad beyond what I ever thought I could feel.

Phewf! So many significant-seeming experiences have happened to me in the past year. The biggest one was that I was laid off. It completely changed my life in so many ways. I still don't think I've really comprehended it. But it's made me realise how one little action can completely change your entire life, plans, and ideas of the future. November/December was a lot last year. The break-up, and then the lay-off. It made me feel incredibly low. I was in shock. All of my plans de-railed. Where do I go from here? And can I have some time and space to figure it out? I feel like this whole year has been me taking time and space to figure it out. And I still don't know what the plan is next. It slowed me down - not in a bad way. It made me realise I needed to slow down. I needed to take the time to come back to myself, to cocoon, to comfort myself, and then to be gentle with myself as I build myself up again and figure out the next steps. It's been funny reading these questions back from last year today. A bit sad, but not devastating. I had these big bright dreams of moving to Barcelona. Those have been put on hold. And I don't know what the future holds, now. Even the near future. I feel as though I'm thinking a few months in the future, and cannot handle or fathom the concept of thinking more than that. Everything past January is a mystery. But I guess it's always a mystery. You never know what's going to happen. Never. It can all change in an instant. So we take one step at a time. And that's okay. It's been nice slowing down with myself, reconnecting with what makes me feel good. Exploring. And, reading back on these answers from last year, I do recognise that my job wasn't fulfilling me. And I took a lot of time this year to figure out, what does. I know the simple things that fulfil me. I've been able to reconnect with my creativity, which I find fulfilling, and I've been able to integrate that more into my life. I know that time with my friends fulfil me, and I've spent so much time with them. I know that being in nature fulfils me, and I've spent time outside - running, going on cycling trips (my first cycling trips! and two in one year!), camping, climbing. I've brought food into my life again, and would like to have that in my life going forward in some way. It's nice being somewhat connected to that area. I've vounteered with the animals in the park. So, I know what I'm grateful for. And I guess that's what's defined my year. Exploring what fulfills me. Being slow and thoughtful. It's, unexpectedly, become my fallow year. And even though that has been hard at times, I'm grateful I've had the time to think and connect with myself.

I started playing Magic the Gathering, specifically the Commander format, last November. It was originally just house games at my cousin's. Since then, I've gone to local game stores to play, and rediscovered my friends Jon and Brandon, along with making some new friends. These are really just gaming friends, but having a social activity that isn't dependent upon work, working, or prior relationships, is fantastic. Probably one of the best life decisions I've made in a decade. I am extremely grateful for this. It's made me realize how much I was missing social interaction, and that even talking with strangers can provide an experience that is comforting. Poor experiences are still experiences after all, and having any experience is better than having no experience. It's a very mentally engaging game, so it has likely opened up some mental pathways and processes that I haven't explored in a long time.

This past year a lot has happened. 10/7/2023 still happened and we are recovering from it. I traveled for Elana's wedding. I met my man, he came for RH to LA. he proved me in all the ways I never imaged a man would. I was inspired to be a better me with him and I think I am.

Keith died in April. I have never been so lonely in my life. Even when he was sick, I could talk to him. Now I have no one I can talk to about my deepest feelings. I cannot vent to anyone when someone upsets me. While I was sad that he died, I wasn't sad that he was no longer in pain, so there's that.

I am learning how to be more handy. It gives me confidence to fix things myself.

Breaking my wrist at the end of October and getting surgery early November. A lot of feelings came with that at first- I was frustrated, embarrassed, worried, and upset. But I was thankful that this happened while living with my sister, because she helped take care of me and I know it was stressful at times. I was also very grateful for the friends that checked in and offered to help me too. I really do think things happen for a reason. Being off of work for a month, it opened my eyes to how little my boss/admin actually seemed to care about my wellbeing, and I was continuing on the path of being burnt out. I'm also extremely thankful to my physical therapists and they made coming to PT enjoyable, and it was cool to see how my wrist was healing (which also required a lot of patience). It also led me to seek out personal training at my job, and my personal trainer has been a huge motivator and really has led me to feel more confident and strong. I also got an ADHD diagnosis and feel relieved and hopeful (but also sometimes get imposter syndrome) and am looking forward to finally have pathways to deal with it.

Being terminated from my job for the first time ever and it was by my close friend. Three days later my mother passed away. I resent him and our boss. I was let go because “it wasn’t working out.” I questioned too much.

I spent four months on my own in Colombia on Fulbright, researching the coffee industry, just as I always wanted (given I was there a third of the year and how profound the experience was, I anticipate it will drive much of my 10Q answers this year). I cannot believe how much I was able to learn-- not only about the coffee industry, but also about reconnecting with myself in another country, amid the chaos of global events, post 10/7.

October 7th. That's all one needs to say. It changed everything. It warped time. It still feels like we are in the same day. It broke us and then it has put us back together again as we try to mourn, to learn, to support and to fight for our Jewish homeland and our Jewish civil rights.

VERY significant - My friend was able to visit again in Sedona after a 5-year absence. We visited the peace pole in the center of a labyrinth - it's Hebrew piece led to her journey learning Hebrew, which has had an enormous impact in her life. She reads Torah in Hebrew every Shabbat. We were grateful, we ARE grateful. I currently have 3 learners in two classes. My friend's progress inspires me to give even more of my acquired gift (knowing basic Hebrew) using my talent as a teacher and my neshama that is warm and welcoming.

My Grandpa's death affected me profoundly. It happened while I was abroad in Germany on a trip to learn about the Holocaust and contemporary Jewish life in Germany. I was struck with gratitude for the beautiful life he lived and all he did for us. I realized I wouldn't be the Jewish leader or work in philanthropy if it wasn't for him. I'm so grateful for his legacy and want to do even more for our Jewish people.

After October 7, 2023 and the Hamas attack on Israel, I began openly identifying myself as Jewish. Before that day I had been private about my beliefs, not out of fear or anything, but because where I live is predominantly Christian and most people just don't ask. But after those attacks and the rise in antisemitism that followed, I felt that I should be more bold in my acknowledgment of who I am even if my daughter and I are the only Jewish people we know.

My best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was by my side (through the phone) all through my breast cancer treatment a few years ago, so I'm grateful that I can support her through this journey since I have been through it. It hasn't been triggering, and I feel like it's given me opportunities to express parts of cancer and treatment that I hadn't thought about or put into words before - which is helpful since a lot of my work at the Y is with cancer survivors. But as her best friend, and knowing all of her health and life challenges, I'm so worried.

October 7th I had just landed in Germany for a conference when the first reports started to ring on my phone. My heart, mind and soul were in Israel with my family, friends and all Israelis. I was paralyzed, but so inspired by Israeli society and its resilience. How could so much hate exist? How could men become such monsters?

Not a "ta-da" but rather a slow realization: 7 years after leaving my wife, 4 years since committing to a new relationship, I now share a loving and supportive partnership with someone I enjoy living with. I am so grateful to be experiencing this.

Being terminated by my previous employer. I felt I was welcome and needed. I was resentful at first. But as I spend more time away, the more I realize how unhappy I was. I’m very grateful to no longer work there. I’ve been inspired to focus on creative endeavours I’ve been putting off for 3 years.

I ended my 18 month "job" as Executive Director in July, although I am still doing the HHD and some other things. I am grateful for the opportunity, but sad that it took me until the end of my working life to find my calling. I am so glad that I had this chance to really make a difference in the life of my community and to get to know so many congregants, and become closer to the staff.

Husband lost his job. It has been very difficult emotionally and financially. I might be resentful but it isn’t devise he has no income. It’s beside we wouldn’t be in such a bad position if it weren’t for a couple bad financial choices he made that i disagreed with.

Last spring, I had my first experience of the emergency care system of our country. [Shortened story: weeks after a dental procedure, I was experiencing jaw pain , presented myself to urgent care, and was directed to the closest emergency room.] The affects have been many: saddened by the state of "health" care, humbled by the compassionate and able people working in an indifferent and broken system, anger that even though I began every response to "what brought you here" with the pain from a past procedure no one the whole time looked in my mouth to examine the area, gladness that I have managed my health so well, grateful for my immediate family, validated that my health is indeed pretty good. More profoundly, it caused be to wonder if the indifference to the pain I directly articulated was because they were alarmed by my elevated blood pressure (caused by the pain) or because I am a black person. This also saddened me.

I installed permanent fixtures in my studio having been able to repurpose them from a store that closed. It impacted me because I am inspired to use my space more.

The October 7th invasion of Israel. I was horrified that the IDF officers - from the officers over the spotters to top officers, were - and still are - dismissive of the female IDF members, and arrogant. I have waited for an entire year for an investigation and apology. None has happened.

Deciding last September to join my synagogue’s adult b’nai mitzvah program, and having our class of 12 adults start our studies on October 8th, one day after the brutal massacre of over 1,200 people in Israel by Hamas. In many ways I feel more Jewish than I ever have, which has brought with it just about every possible emotion at one time or another during this difficult year.

The most significant experience this year relates to the ongoing genocide in Gaza. It has changed my life, made me feel inspired that a better world is possible but also resentful that some of the people I thought were friends don’t share the same fundamental beliefs or in some cases have chosen to center themselves.

It’s the end of summer, I'm riding my new motorcycle, that I purchased in June, down a two lane country road. I've been riding since I was a teenager and never had an accident. Listening to the Eagles song, Hotel California, watching the sunrise, riding to work. For all intents and purposes nearly perfect motorcycle ride. On the side of the road was an 80+ year old man in a Subaru who is looking for his cell phone. About the time I am 3 car lengths at ~50 miles an hour from the car the man decided to U-turn and go home to get the phone. I had about one second to react, I steered slightly left impacted the car at the driver door. That would be the last thing I would remember until I came out of shock about 3 hours later. That instant broke bones and leaves me in shock. It completely destroyed the motorcycle. I still had enough energy to fly over the car landing 25 feet down the road on my back. What happened next is a blur only rebuilt by people telling me what happened. A woman had been driving behind me, she stopped and helped me. Evidently all I wanted was for her to call my wife and tell her I was OK. She texted my wife, took photos of the accident scene for me, and gave a statement to the police, none of which she was required to do. I'm incredibly grateful for that. The first responders who I will never know and the ambulance that drove me an hour to the hospital who I will never know, I'm grateful for that. Not so long ago we had met a young woman in our remote community who watched pets. We have 4 dogs and the hospital is more than an hour from our home. It would have been nearly impossible for us to deal with our pets. We took a leap of faith, trusting our home and our pets to her. She did an amazing job and I'm grateful for that. I woke up in the hospital not sure as to how I had gotten there trying to assess what was wrong with me. I was in extreme pain, the kind of pain where you can't catch your breath. The hospital would put me on morphine, however, it seemed ineffective to me. I laid there nearly 10 hours before they were able to get me an orthopedic surgeon capable of fixing the severe injuries in my right arm. I can remember when the anesthesiologist finally came into the room and I knew that that pain perfect storm was coming to an end. I was incredibly grateful for that. I woke up in the ICU with an incredibly professional nursing staff. In the next 24 hours I discovered that I had a full body bruise that is indescribable. That the only way I could even begin to operate was using morphine. And everything I had been the day before had been revoked. Still, I survived and I'm grateful for that. I spent seven days in the hospital, nearly three weeks using a walker where every movement I made was painful. I could do nothing myself, like standing up, getting out of bed, preparing food for myself or getting myself dressed. I had to learn to do everything with my left hand given that I am right-handed. From the moment I woke up in the hospital to the point where I'm writing this, my spouse has been by my side with the kindness of spirit helping me recover. We've been married >40 years and every time we've had a hardship, our relationship has gotten stronger. I'm grateful and inspired by this. During the recovery, my work and my community supported me including stopping by to spend time with me as well as providing different meals for us during the early days. You never realize how many people care about you. I am Inspired by this. What you learn when you're severely traumatized is that healing is not linear it's more of a trend. Day-to-day you never know how you're going to feel but overtime, at least in my case, slowly I'm getting stronger and able to do more things on my own. I have a lot of time on my hands, it makes me think about things like when a soldier is it injured, loses a leg or some such thing, how tremendously difficult that is. And frankly how awful and unnecessary. It's hard to now what to feel about this, only then I'll be able to empathize better because I've been thru trauma. There's also an incredible complexity with the employment development department, insurance approvals and subsequent doctor visits, having to secure an attorney to deal with the insurance in long term consequences of such an ordeal. Most of us are probably under-insured if we cause this kind of accident because it's incredibly expensive.. I'm trying not to be resentful because someone took me out of my life would be more than two months. I'm able to replay that last two seconds clearly over and over in my mind I wonder when that will stop. Next year when I do 10Q this is one of the things I want to think about. It's hard to summarize this because I'm still very much recovering and I haven't begun to get through all the legal expenses, physical therapy all the stuff that goes along with trauma. It's clear to me because we do not go through this life alone. We very much stand on the shoulders of others as to how we deal with this and that we depend on the kindness/professionalism of others during out time of need. That life is very precious. I do like to think that I will pay this forward given all the gifts I've been given during this time. One thing is for sure, i will always be double safe when making a u-turn...

Dad died a year ago. I didn't do any 10Q questions last year. I was in it deeply. My brother and I took red eye flights home that same night and my mom got weird and said how nice it was "the children came home so quickly when their father died" as if my whole life it hasn't been us four vs the entire world. We drank a lot of tea which I will henceforth and forever refer to as "my dad is dead " tea. We couldn't eat. Nothing tasted like food. Nothing could nourish us. Everything tasted like paste for a month. Somebody said to me "he's in a better place" and I said "the better place is here with us" and meant it. He was supposed to get better. Ten years of working hard to overcome losing the ability to walk and cancer took him down. Not the first time. The first time he was okay, but it came back again nearly two years later. The second time it took him down. He worked hard and lived a good life and was kind. The rabbi said what can you tell me about your father that you'd like me to remember and I said "there's not a person in the world who could say anything but kind things about my dad---everyone loves him."

Damn, well let's start with the break up. I'm grateful for what we had, and bitter for how it ended and how long it was drawn out. It took me a minute to figure how to get through that, but I'm trying to sit in gratitude about what it teaches me about who I am/what it taught me and knowing that I'm really ready to commit to someone in a forever kind of way.

Aftermath of 10/7 and emerging antisemitism. I am grateful that my Jewish alumni network has emerged as a source of support and the opportunity to reconnect with some very old colleagues. But the rest of it causes a lot of anxiety.

I haven't been the same since October 7th. Not only was it absolutely soul crushing to see that hundreds of people were murdered and kidnapped just for being Jewish or Israeli or even just IN Israel, but the reaction from the world really broke my spirit. I've lost so many friends. I feel like I'm on edge all the time because I don't know who is going to judge me or hate me for being Jewish. I feel like I'm back "in the closet" because I can't fully be my authentic self anymore. I'm heartbroken.

Just about a year ago, my dear friend Jenny passed. The 2 months before that were absolutely awful, watching her suffer and her doctors' "treatments" making her suffering worse. I'm angry still, and wish there was something I could do to stop that from happening to anyone else, and I've had to get used to the idea that there really isn't anything I can do.

A significant experience? Well, here is AN experience: After 3 1/2 years of very careful distancing and masking, and having successfully evaded getting Covid, my husband and I both came down with the virus. We had loosened up our vigilance a bit, enough to do some traveling, and first my husband, and then me, came down with symptoms, somewhat dampening our enjoyment of the trip!

Hersh dying. I think this affected me more than even 10/7 itself. I can’t really put into words what Rachel’s fight to bring him home meant. I know that passion should be devoted to all of the hostages and to ending this war, but he became family to all of us. He represented hope in so many ways. Her words ring in my ears daily. Stay strong. Survive. Over a month past his death, it still doesn’t seem real that he won’t come home and get to be wrapped in his mama’s arms.

October 7th. The massacre stunned me and yet didn't surprise me. I've lived all my life convinced "they" were coming back someday. I've always been terrified by the antisemitism the world has shown again and again throughout the ages. I remember the nightmares I had as a child. I no longer have to be afraid of the dark. The dark is here.

October 7th has been very significant in my life: I have began to understand the cruelty that humans beings can act out, the difficulty they have in resolving conflicts, the extreme that they can arrive to, the senseless acts of violence that were impossible for me to believe pre-Oct 7th. I also have been witness to the resilience and inner strength that people can manifest when in danger, when in grief, when in terror. I am learning, learning, learning....

I've just done a 7 day Tantric Retreat. I don't think I'll ever be the same again!

My right hip began to hurt earlier this year. It felt a lot like when my left hip was going, so I just treated with ibuprofen to start, but then it got pretty bad, so I figured I was close to needing it replaced. Well, I must be getting soft, because the X-ray showed it was just over 50% gone, and they won't do anything until it is much further eroded. Luckily, they offered a cortisone shot, which was a first for me, and it worked like a charm. I am struggling to lose weight, which is the second part of being able to get a replacement. As of now, I am too fat for surgery, so I need to work on that.

I think October 7 dominated the consciousness of many of us this year. Much of the beginning of my year was anxiety, constant checking, and the feeling of insecurity and instability. As the time stretches on there is still insecurity and also frustration, ambivalence, and a sort of stubborn hope. I think it has inspired a lot of reflection about my feelings about Judaism, the community, Israel, and the way that all of these things interrelate. I think it has lead to some inspiration to take action and to find new ways to educate and support the community.

My step-dad passed away. I ha mixed feelings - relief, sorrow, freedom, and reflection. I buried myself in arranging the funeral and being the executor. I'm not quite ready to explore further.

I finally bought a car after my horrific car accident in December 2022! I love the car and I love that I am slowly (surely) overcoming the PTSD that makes it so scary to drive.

The war in Gaza is the most significant experience I've had this year, as well as concerns about the ongoing fighting by Israel on many front, the well being of the hostages as well as the civilians in Gaza, and the growing amount of anti-semitism in our country and world. It makes me sad, angry, frustrated and anxious all at the same time

Spent 2 weeks in Japan. Filled my spirit with special food, time with Rachel and Steven, Nara deer and beautiful part with Shinto shrines, and crafts in Kyoto. Has problems with my hips but I was so grateful to be there and see such beautiful things

You know...I'm not certain there was one. It very much so was status quo. And I'm not mad about this given the state of things in this world. I had more fallout in my relationships - meaning - I reached MY limit and cut the cords on most of the things, people, places of my time here in Arizona. I changed my phone number and mobile carrier after many years. 17 for the carrier. And 14 for the number. It was time. Along with that went the people I didn't notify or give my new # to. Easy, right? I also went totally off social media. I just realized what a terrible thing it really is for society as a whole. I definitely did the back and forth thing for a few times, and finally deleted ALL the accounts. It was also time for this. Honestly, I am truly doing the clean slate thing. Starting FRESH. And giving thanks for all of it - the good, the bad, the ugly. I am extremely grateful, VERY relieved, at times slightly resentful until I realize it's a part of the journey and when that happens the resentment wanes significantly - even dissolves altogether. I AM inspired by my strength and resolve.

Mom died in February. The world turned inside out and upside down. I didn't realize that her presence in the world affected everything else directly and indirectly.

The genocide in Palestine began. I am deeply saddened.

Giving birth to my third child- and first with no pain relief, in a precipitous induction in which the OBGYN did not arrive in time for the delivery! Totally crazy and chaotic experience but also I am so proud of myself. I had a lot of feelings during this pregnancy, both in my personal life, and about my experience with the medical system. Getting laid off from work and somehow getting a new job during the pregnancy was so hard and made me feel an immense amount of pressure and stress. Earning my PMP, which I hope will pay dividends career-wise, was incredible- I studied SO hard for it. Having severe anemia, which required iron infusions at an oncology center was annoying and being around so much cancer and death made me really emotional. Being under the care of a well respected doctor in my local Jewish community who was fatphobic, cold, and dismissive (and who I ran into in public settings repeatedly) was really hard, and ultimately caused me to switch to another provider after much deliberation and many tears.

In July, I was invited to take care of my 20 month old grandson during the birth of his brother who was due on 7/21/24. I arrived on 7/18 and the baby was born on 7/31 providing many extra days of fun! It was a wonderful pleasure to spend several weeks with my grandson and to be present at the birth of the second grandson. The baby was born at home and his brother and I were invited into the room about 30 minutes after he was born. We shared a very special time welcoming this new life into the family. This experience is made somewhat unusual as the mother of my grandson is my daughter-in-law. When I mentioned to her how special it was to me to be present as the mother-in-law, she quickly said, Yes! I tell my friends that I hit the jackpot with mother-in-laws! My feelings are of immense gratitude and thankfulness to see my son and his wife start this beautiful family of their own and to be able to be an intimate and appreciated part. May this new year continue to bring health and happiness.

Of course October 7th. This event (and everything that came after) simply rocked my world. My worldview has changed drastically. Although it was, and continues to be, deeply upsetting, there are some revelations I feel grateful for. The wool was pulled from before my eyes. I understand now about Islamic terrorism. I understand how deeply anti-Semitism is part of their culture, and ours. I understand that Israel must always put her citizens first and as Jews around the world we must too. I understand how important being Jewish is to me, and I feel okay about prioritizing it in my life. I am still working on being loud and proud and true to myself, but I know in my heart who I am and where my loyalty lies. I will never just believe something because it is part of the left wing agenda. I will always be critical and think for myself. This clarity of my belief system feels like a relief, in some ways. This year was so, so painful, but I am grateful for the ways I've gained insight and clarity.

IVF finally worked! Definitely relieved and grateful. It's an interesting thing to get to the other side of fertility treatments because you're still waiting for 9 more months before you hold a breathing human in your arms. But I look forward to answering next year what he or she is like, G-d willing!

I got a CPAP machine. And I mostly hate it (would like to drop-kick it into a lake). But it also represents access to health care / insurance benefits. It represents taking care of my health and making changes. It represents getting older, and starting to feel the weight of those aging challenges. It represents me taking action and making positive steps forward. It represents the messy middle - it hasn't had any positive benefits (yet?) but I still have to keep moving forward, making incremental changes and hoping for healing.

Omg October 07, that changed everything for me. Discovered not everyone was as keen on the Zionist project as I am. Endless fights with Berenice and Carli and Jeanie who for one reason and another are more sensitive to Palestinian Moslem suffering that to Jewish Israeli suffering. I don’t get it. I’m confused and horrified.

Getting engaged and then having it quickly followed by my sister not wanting to be in my wedding because she doesn't agree with our lifestyle. To go from a high high and reaching the point in my life where I am ready to make this decision and then have someone knock the wind out of you. So I am excited to be moving in this direction with my relationship and not letting the dissenters be the loudest voice in my head.

October 7th. It completely changed my plans in Israel, but more than that it changed what it meant to me to live here. To be a citizen who calls this country home in good times and bad times. I am reminded every day that I am proud tk actively choose to live here.

The most significant occasion was the war in the Middle East. It has changed the world, it has changed how I see and perceive the world. I have never felt so much grief, hopelessness.

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A significant experience that has happened to me over the past year was October 7. This really impacted me on my achdus with clal yisroel. The packing food for chayalim, and tihilam for the hostages really made me feel connected with all jews. At first I felt scared and mad at Hashem, but now that I took a second and looked at the bigger picture, I realized that G-d is good, better than good, so that means that any thing He does is good, so October 7 is good. Even if I can’t see it like that at every moment, deep in my heart I know that this is gam zoo latova.

My friends coming interstate for Confest was very special. Having good chats, and sharing new experiences with people I love was wonderful. I am grateful.

My mom died. I am very sad.

I’m too depressed to care about anything

I’m grateful the veil has lifted to the realities of Israel and its supporters – the few that there are. I’m grateful to be aware of the propaganda machine, to recognize my own programming that’s been in place since childhood, and to take responsibility to begin deconstructing and re-educating myself. I wish I had known sooner, but I’m open to continually learning in an effort to do better.

This year I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and had my first real relationship end at about the same time. There were moments when I felt overwhelmed and had my first-ever panic attack. There were moments when I felt like it wouldn't get better. But there was never a moment where I felt truly alone. Thanks to my friends (you know who you are), my parents, and my healthcare professionals I'm in a much better place now and for that I'm grateful.

Fertility difficulties translating to carrying a twin pregnancy. It has been baffling, surprising, daunting, and exciting all in one. I have been capable of so much less this year because of the physical work my body has been doing.

On the collective/national level - 10/7, of course. It has shaken my belief in safety and security, at times it has had me sounding far more hawkish and Jewish survivalist than I ever thought possible. My belief in the possibility of a 2 state solution has eroded. I have found the limits of my empathy. I am no longer sure how to raise Jewish children in safety in the Diaspora. And my heart breaks over and over again a million times. I would love to sit down with 2009 me, the me who easily went back and forth from the West Bank, who so deeply believed in the possibility of Encounter to change the future...and take a smidge of her optimism, a smidge of her openness, her curiosity, her empathy, and bring it to me now, because I desperately need it.

I completed my AI class as valedictorian. I was inspired. I was grateful to all my teachers, especially my children.

Traveling to Egypt and being immersed in history and antiquities from thousands of years ago was inspiring and enlightening and mind-expanding. I felt so privileged to be able to step back in time and experience what life was like so long ago. The fact that rockets were flying over our head in and out of Israel made me so aware of how civilizations throughout all of history can't seem to stop fighting for power and greed everywhere on earth.

The raid by Hamas. I want to be home with my people. It hurts me incredibly. I have no problem decimating Hamas and the Gazans.

Having a boss who doesn’t like me, know me, or care about me. He is a terrible manager, not a very nice person, and is critical of everyone. He is a model of Jewish ignorance and lack of ethics. His bullying is upsetting, but what I take from it is that I am the same talented, devoted, intelligent, capable, and kind employee I have always been. It’s his deficits on display, not mine.

I ran my first Half Marathon in April 2024! I remember having the desire for a long time, but never had the courage to tackle the event. Last summer I visited with a good friend as she was meant to run her first Half Marathon in Portland, and although she didn’t end up running a half but instead ran a 5K, I remained inspired to consider this journey. I had already been running more, and at the time ran the longest ever of 5 miles. So I knew I could do it, if I trained and set my mind to it. I wanted to become a morning runner, have better eating habits and ultimately sustain running 5-8 miles any given time. I learned so much about running, and pushing through mentally. After 3 miles running is all mental. I experienced the runners high for the first time ever, and I love it! Although I injured myself, I didn’t become a morning runner or have the best eating or fueling habits, something I continue to work on, I learned that I could do it! I could motivate myself and with the love of my community, I could do anything I set my mind to doing. I learn what real discipline feels likes and looks like. I learn that I could tell my brain and body what to do, instead of letting them tell me what to do. It was a profound experience that continues to feed me at my most unregulated moments. Running has become my founding and source of peace. It’s still hard. Every run is different and I am still not back to running long runs of 5-8 miles YET, but I am more comfortable calling myself a runner these days. And I am more comfortable pushing into being uncomfortable emotionally. Forward is a pace regardless of how fast I am going as long as I put one foot in front of the other!

My ex-girlfriend found a new place to live in a beautiful part of Victoria and wants me to be a regular visitor. I feel grateful to have this relationship in my life but know that this closeness can be taken away if she acquires a new romantic partner.

I received a promotion to full professor. This new rank not only will allow me to bring in more money, but it provides a bit of recognition in regards to the work that I’ve done for the last 17 years at my school. I feel relieved for this promotion, and proud of myself for advocating for it.

Significant? Maybe... I was elected president of my local Democratic club. This was a foregone conclusion--there was no one else running. How has it affected me? It has made my life immeasurably more complicated and exhausting and, if things were going better, I'd be happy about that. But I have learned some things (and I don't just mean learning people's names), including some experiences I hope never to repeat. And I have agreed to run again for another year, which will take the club just about through the municipal elections next year. I really, really, REALLY hope we can find someone else to run after that. Otherwise, I'll be turning out the lights. I guess we'll know the answer to that by the time next year's 10Qs roll around.

I went to Disneyland for the first time in forever and travelled with friends for the first time in a while. I'm so glad it went well because I was kind of worried that travelling alone might have ruined me for trips with others.

Hamas attacked Israel. Israel retaliated and now seems to keep it up forever. much tension about zionism. I feel afraid to think it through, but I have enough that I agree with the reconstructionist position, also known as progressive zionism. I know better than to engage either of my kids on this. I feel, for the most part, very discouraged.

Beginning in March, I started working through the pain and joy of being human—and of having grown up in a dysfunctional family system—with a new therapist and in group settings (i.e., group therapy, ACA meetings, and, in unexpected ways, at clown camp in France). I feel less broken, more loved, more aware of the mechanics of relating healthily to myself and others, and more aware of my family of origin’s dysfunction and my part in it. Luck must’ve led me and Jeff, my new boyfriend, to one another, but I credit the other inputs I’ve described (and Jeff being Jeff) with enabling me to see now, 3 months since our first date, we are I have been doing also embarked on a loving romantic relationship that inspires and frightens me. Receiving a kind of acceptance and support that’s previously been out of touch for me has also made me more aware of grief and rage inside me. My parents and past therapists didn’t see the person in front of them or administer the care I needed, and that was their job. I feel gratitude for what I have been learning and for the growing faith I have in myself and a Higher Power, but I fear, and so, I guess, should expect and accept, that I will sometimes forget these new skills and this new story of myself.

I feel like I finally had a year where there were fewer significant things. In a very good way. But I guess the most significant was getting all of our childhood photo albums out of mom’s house which enabled me to fully sever the emotional hold that Len’s cowardice, belligerence and failure to care for mom had on me. It was truly free-ing. I never have to go to his house, or seriously interact with him. It’s felt so great to visit and not have to deal with him. It feels like the conclusion of this many years journey trying so hard to do right by mom and being blocked at every turn by his grossly weak moral character, which was actually a superpower in this scenario given his legal place as her husband. For so long I felt like I needed to keep fighting for her, and I did. Now I truly feel I’ve done all I could. No action was left undone. I was not successful in giving her the end of life she would have wanted. But I did literally everything (within my legal power) to try to give her that.

I became pregnant! I'm grateful and relieved as it took much longer than we had hoped and we were very lucky that it happened just before we were going to begin medical interventions - lots of love and respect to the people who do experience those.

My cousin died after fighting but suffering for 10 years from blood cancer. We are 3 months difference in age and grew up together in the same town. We traveled together after her retirement and enjoyed wine tastings, books, her daughter and granddaughter. I truly miss her but talk with her briefly every few days. I am happy and relieved that she is free of pain.

Bella went to college - I sold my condo - I quit my job to pursue my passion I feel a calm confidence that I am in alignment with my purpose and the universe will have my back in leading me the right way for success

My back going out was the most significant experience this year. Arriving at a friends house and finding I couldn't walk was huge for me. She took such beautiful beautiful generous loving care of me. It inspired me!! The whole experience of not being functional did make me feel pretty fragile, in touch with my body, doubt about how to be in the world, vulnerable, connected to other humans, feeling that we need each other, and so grateful for renewed strength and flexibility as it returned. I feel compassion for my body!!

In the past year, Kay passed away. It was really hard for me since she was someone I was so close with, and it took a long time to get a sense of closure. I have been able to honor Kay in different ways, like through dedicating my year-long one-second video compilation to her and making a plate in memory of her in a workshop I went to. I want to continue remembering Kay and continuing to live her memory in the years to come.

It's hard not to say October 7th for this, though I feel like that will also be the answer to another question. Maybe that's okay. It was such a tough year to be working in academia. I am exhausted physically and mentally. I feel burnt out, stressed, almost depressed in some ways. Seeing the world's reaction to October 7th and everything that has happened since has made me feel scared to be Jewish, changed friendships (though maybe that would have happened anyway), and has caused me to feel disgruntled and horrified in continuously new ways.

I fell in love. I felt how surprising and remarkable it is. I felt how far it felt from possible. I am finding so much deep delight with him

I am not sure one experience stands out because it has been a year of family celebrations and the loss of one of my mentors. I am trying to get used to my new role in my extended family, hoping not to become invisible, staying engaged with younger family members. I m well aware most people I know "have a lot on their plates," which we may or not know about or understand.

Getting a sponsor in Al-Anon. This has helped my recovery and has made a significant impact on my relationships. I am learning everyday and it is amazing. My kids have noticed my behavior and have commented that they know I am working hard on being the best I can be.

Spent 2 weeks in Israel in May & returned home decided to make Aliyah. People ask us if we’re not concerned moving to a war zone. We ask them if they’re not concerned living in the midst of the gun war happening in the US. Felt a lot safer over there than we do over here.

I think the undeniable significant experience of this year were the attacks on October 7th and everything that followed. I have never been more in grief and stress with a community. While there was so much stress during Covid we were all so isolated from one another. This stress was ever-present at work, at home, between family, between friends. I slept worse, my hormones got off track, I gained ten pounds. It took me until March to lift my head up enough to go seek help for all the pain I was storing in my body as I tried to work and move through Jewish community in this world. I am still grieving, still sad, still furious at governments and politics, and people with weapons who hurt others. I find it harder than ever before to be clear about justice other than to say, we should be better than this.

My son and his wife welcomed a new baby boy to their family. It affected me profoundly, as we now have a bouncy, smiling second grandson. We have hopes for him, although I regret we will likely not see him grow to an adult. We are already 77 and 80 years old.

No significant experience so much as valuing friends and family more. Facing being in 4th quarter of my live but valuing the time and travel and love of family and friends, and appreciating the quality of the life I have left.

I learned that if I teach for another year after I had planned to quit, I can get a pension of about $2000 a month. So now I know my work has an expiration date that I can focus on, in 609 days. Then I can make my escape. That has been somewhat relieving. I still worry about living in this shithole country during that time, especially if the orange menace comes back into power. That makes me a little fearful and resentful. But knowing I can get out in a while is helpful and gives me something to live for.

I met the love of my life, and the woman that I eventually asked to be my wife. I realize that God had listened to my thoughts and wishes from when I was a young boy, and I believe they were to her wishes when she was a young woman. Linden Womack an amazing woman loves me the best kind of way. She has a wonderful family And it’s so great to be a part of, rather than a part from. I’m grateful that she loves the Lord, her parents, her workouts, good job, and her family and friends. I’m excited to build a life with her. Excited to share some good things with her. My dad said when I told him about her, good maybe she’ll help you grow up. Like I was lacking something. The only thing in life that I’ve been lacking is God‘s partner with me to do life with. She is a blessing from God and I hope to be that for her!

I started a second conversion this year to Sephardi Orthodox. I am excited about the process, but I am saddened that I feel it is necessary because some do not see my Conservative conversion as 'kosher'. What has saddened me anew is that there are those in the Orthodox world that won't even see this conversion as 'kosher' because it is not being done by a Chief Rabbinate-approved rabbi. Why are we tearing ourselves apart like this?

Wow. 2023 tuvo muchas experiencias significativas. No sabría cuál escoger, creo que son un enjambre que habla de mi deseo de vivir, de salir del estado mental que me jala hacia abajo, hacia lo oscuro y aterrador. Desde el primer día del año, sentí esa energía, la de el deseo de vivir. Acepte a muchos que llegaron a FB, no podía creer que llegaran tantos. Entre ellos hubieron algunos que se “acercaron”, como siempre, creí lo mejor de ellos y tuve la ilusión de tener amigos de verdad. No sucedió. También llegó Hugo, que lo conocí en persona y sentí mucha cercanía energética, digamos. Pero me di cuenta de que no estaba dispuesto a compartirse personalmente: no sabía nada de él, no me quiso decir ni donde vivía… sentí un vacío y una nada que me aterró porque yo me había abierto. Esto trajo de nuevo al miedo, al terror de estar contagiada de algo, a la inseguridad que me da enfrentar la vida yo sola. Lo saqué de mi vida. Ayer me pidió que saliéramos, no sé a dónde ni para qué. No tengo ganas. También tomé clases de dibujo, fui a talleres. Me gustó pero me resultó muy cansado. Quizá hice mucho luego de haber estado invernando en mi casa. Hice cosas que deseaba y me agoté. A fin de año me enfermé de gripa y terminé con antibióticos y muerta de miedo. Estoy agradecida porque pensé que nunca más sentiría el placer del contacto físico. Pensé que lo era todo. Me di cuenta que no es tan importante el sexo como la cercanía física y la conexión significativa. Salí a buscar un cambio, sentido de pertenencia. Disfruté, sin embargo no pude encontrar “mi lugar”. Tuve esta comprensión: puedo tener el tipo de experiencia que yo quiera, lo que antes me dijeron de mí no es una verdad escrita en piedra para la eternidad.

I flew across the country to participate in a medical clinical trial. I can’t believe it’s been nearly 3 years of existing like this. A number of my friends lost a parent. It feels like a very sudden change in where we are in life. I’m continuing to try and improve my relationship with my parents and continue to hope that we are granted that time.

One significant experience is that I was diagnosed with bipolar. At first, it was overwhelming, but as I learned more about the diagnosis and the different presenting symptoms- especially my symptoms- I better understood that yes I have this thing. Since being on medication, my life has definitely stabilized more. I would say I am mostly grateful for this. I don't experience the high highs or the low lows anymore, I definitely feel more even keel. I have been getting the help I need and able to make more healthy choices for myself like going back to school.

I don't really remember this year.. since losing dad 04.01.2023, I've been AWOL regarding time. I think the biggest experience to happen thus far has been regarding work; we've lost about half our crew FOH and BOH. I've been pulling full time hours- almost hit overtime for the first time. It's exhausting.... The money is good, I'm thankful. The hours are long but not too taxing. The atmosphere at work is 98% amazing. I feel kind of... Idk. Not burnt out per se, but kind of tired and uninspired. I haven't been able to art. I developed plantar fasciitis, which sucks. But I have compression sleeves so it works for the most part. I'm slowly delegating other workers to tasks I'd otherwise do myself. So I'm learning to share the weight of the closing duties.

I think the biggest event of this year for me was buying the house next door, in the hope of building the community we want in the mountains where we live (COVID conscious, MCS friendly). I'm grateful, especially, to my partner, who has done most of the legwork -- I provided a chunk of funds, she did all the logistics! I'm inspired to consider more property investment.

I got my medical so I can solo and continue my flight training.

I froze my eggs! It didn't affect me greatly physically, which is a relief. But it affected me greatly in other ways -- it was empowering to master giving myself the injections and to exert some control over the uncertainty of my romantic life. But it was odd that throughout the experience, and even now as I contemplate doing a second cycle, I am still ambivalent about whether I want biological children.

There have been so many significant experiences this year! But the one that was the catalyst for all the others was our move from El Paso, TX to West Hartford, CT. My reasons for leaving El Paso were many, and there was never really a question as to whether or not I was making the right choice in that regard. But still it was a huge move, and even though I knew my motivations were all undeniable and justified, I had my moments of doubt. We had a great life in El Paso, wonderful friends whom I had known for years and who had been in Ellie's life since she was born. We had a big, beautiful home that I had gotten for a steal as a fixer-upper and was now fixed up and gorgeous, a 2.75% interest rate on a very small mortgage...we were comfortable and happy in El Paso. And it seemed like it could be a little crazy to pack up everything we owned, sell our beautiful home that we loved so much, and move 2600 miles across the country based on the output of a Google search for "best schools and best Jewish community in the US" and yet, here we are nearly a year later and we couldn't be happier! I don't know how we really ended up finding this place. Was it just the Google search and a lot of luck? Fate? God? Whatever it was, I am so, so beyond grateful and humbled by the wonderful, incredible life we have begun building here surrounded by new, amazing friends and the warmest, most welcoming community we could never have imagined. Our comfortable, happy little life in El Paso was perfect for us for Ellie's first few years. I will always be grateful for our little "bubble" that helped us create such a special bond. But here, I know I can truly give her the life and the opportunities she deserves and I am overwhelmed with joy that we have found our new home.

I was diagnosed with atherosclerotic heart disease. Asymptomatic fortunately. I am concerned, but motivated. I am determined to do whatever is in my power to continue to live and thrive, because I love life.

In June and July, I rode my motorcycle across the country, visiting old friends and family and following Robert Pirsig's route from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. The trip ended when I caught COVID-19 in Bozeman, MT, and recovered for two weeks in the basement of strangers I met at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship there. I experienced awe at nature. In the midwest, I noticed the curvature of the sky for the first time. In the Dakotas and Montana, I marveled at how spectacular the country is. I don't do that usually. In all, I'm grateful to Tonya and Randy for letting me stay at their house for two weeks; and to my Pirsig Pilgrim comrades for welcoming me into the family; and to the old friends and biological family who welcomed me into their homes, some for the first time in decades.

I searched for a job in tech for the first time as a woman I learned a lot about being more resilient against rejection, but I also learned that I have more value than I'd imagined. I'm grateful that I'm so much more than the opinions I had of myself.

Wow, so many. The first one that comes to mind is my acid trip with Rose in Geyserville over the summer. It was an incredible day, and opened up so many aspects of my identity and path for me. I recognized my bear nature, "just a curious, hungry bear who likes to belong and likes pretty things", and I felt into my feminine gender identity for the first time. I felt myself as a sexual female in a male body, and I felt the sexiness of my curves, my chest, my head, and the sexual energy within me flowing and wanting to be expressed. This was the first time I started understanding my gender fluidity and feeling myself as a sexy, sexual being. This was also when I felt immense clarity around wanting to become a therapist, and the enormous excitement and outflowing of creative energy that emerged from this realization. I feel so grateful, relieved, inspired, curious, and open to the not-knowing that this experience invited in.

Starting a new relationship and moving abroad (to continue the relationship on a long distance basis). Starting a new relationship has made me realise that I am not unlovable, and has taught me that all the work I have put into therapy to get to know myself, my past and my emotions have started to pay off. I'll never be perfect, and instead of striving for perfection, this relationship has taught me to embrace my insecurities, my imperfections, my skewed ways of thinking. It has been both fulfilling and challenging. I have been so so loved (and continue to be so) and I feel like I am able to express my love in ways that can be accepted fully. Long distance isn't easy, but nearly 5 months into the relationship, I can say that I'm happy, and I hope I make them happy too. Moving abroad to start a new job has been INCREDIBLY challenging. I had to adjust to the local language, palate, work ethic. It's been much harder than I expected, I went into it with a very blase mindset ie what will be will be. And it's not necessarily an incorrect way to approach the future, but the reality did hit me like a truck. I'm constantly tired, stressed and trying to be a kind person at the same time. That said, I've learnt so much about the field of my work, and have learnt about how I cope (or not cope) with stress. I am still happy I moved, because this is a challenge that I feel like I needed. I am grateful for a smooth relocation- I managed to find a flat within a day of arriving in my new city, with a lovely landlady. I have friends and family here who support me, and family & boyfriend back home have been equally supportive. Without them, I wouldn't be where I am right now.

It's been almost 2 years (oct. 18) that my dad past away. People do not tell you that dying is hardest on those left behind to continue living. Stages of grief were created for those in the process of dying not for those in the process of losing a loved one. It has changed my whole life, and yet, at the same time, nothing has changed in my life.

Starting a firm with a colleague has made a budding friendship into a bond. In the last year, the friendship has been accompanied by a huge amount of work, stress, late nights and (at times) anger but shared jointly - it’s why we did it. It has also brought laughter, food and success. The entire reason that I worked on the idea of starting a firm was because of an ethical disagreement over the direction of a merger of the firm I was working for and the new parent company. I am proud of the choices that I made in this process and the Jewish ethics that I tried to apply in doing it. I didn’t work Shabbat most weeks. I spoke out against what was wrong and worked really hard to start an ethical business with its clients and staff at its heart. Just before Rosh Hanshana we took on two apprentices, which I think is perhaps justifiable as Tikkun Olam, but will hopefully prove to be a good business decision too. I lost a friendship along the way, my biggest mentor of the last decade - after five years. I think I have made steps to put this right.

Japan was an amazing trip. Seeing a new culture and exploring the world with my child is so gratifying. I do push them, sometimes too hard, so working on finding the balance between letting them take it easy and not letting them get to lax.

Throughout this process of answering these questions this year I’m going to do my best to think of things about me, rather than about Jonah. But is hard. My life is mostly devoted to him :) We went to Stanford in April for Jonah’s one year post repair heart cath. It went so well that they told us to treat him like a normal toddler with zero restrictions. It was one of the happiest things I’ve heard since I was pregnant. I’m sure I never thought we’d hear ZERO restrictions.

Some significant events from this year include graduating from college, enjoying a peaceful summer, and beginning my masters. I am very proud of my college accomplishments and how I balanced my time over the summer, really prioritizing enjoyment, friends, family, and fitness along with working hard at a new job. I hope to continue that balance after the masters.

The migraines are cured!!! I never thought I would be one of those people to say, "I'm cured!" But I am! I am so proud of myself for continuing to look for relief, a key. I am so proud of myself for looking at my past experiences head on, and working through the really, really painful stuff. I am so proud of myself for looking at my current behaviors and working to change old patterns... still a work in progress. I am so happy living a slower, more intentional life.

Two things have really impacted my year: the process of training as a lay spiritual assistant (chaplain), volunteering in a hospice and taking courses in the most accredited institution in my country, for which I am deeply grateful: this is exactly what I hope my mission will be for the rest of my life. And the second thing that really impacted my life is the discoveries I’m still doing about my ADHD brain.

I graduated graduate school! I am grateful and relieved. I feel like it put a lot of strain on my relationship and my finances, the latter of which I am still climbing out of. So far, it’s been worth it and think it will be the type of thing where it’s about the long game, salary in the long term, financial freedom in the long term but right now I do feel stress due to loans and debt. I also feel gratitude for the program - it was healing to return to school as a more mature adult than in college and see the growth. I think I can put to rest the myth that I peaked in high school academically.

Honestly, nothing exceptional happened to me this year, which I am thankful for. It was a pretty basic year. Life is moving so quickly my daughter is growing up, she is driving and becoming so independent. It is making me realize I have to start focusing on me more. That’s been a little difficult. Does make me realize and reflect on my marriage and I can see how partners grow apart as the kids grow up.

All the good and bad experiences I have had were undone - overshadowed would be too superficial a word - by October 7 last year. I am grateful that a person I know and her child were spared. Nevertheless, contact has been broken off. Every day I think of the suffering of the hostages in Gaza, of the despair of the inhabitants there, who are perhaps also suffering under Hamas and Israel's defensive measures, and of the many young people who are forced into the war and lose their lives, this unique opportunity on this planet to have good experiences, to realize themselves. I don't want to give up faith in people, but it is difficult. I no longer have faith in some of the people I considered friends, because in October 2023, anti-Semitism broke out within a few days. Disappointment is the prevailing feeling. And the impression of being caught between two stools, because I am disappointed by the political left and appalled by what I see as bigoted support for Israel from the political right of my country, which has always indulged in anti-Semitism. In fact, I no longer understand the world.

Our big adventure to Alaska! I feel very grateful to be able to take Augie on this trip. I feel so grateful to my parents and grandparents for investing and always thinking about our futures. I didn’t not know the rarity of this when I was younger. The money, but also the interest of in travel and the belief in its power

So much has happened this year. Opening a new business, moving to a new city, getting in a serious relationship, starting the conversion process, getting pregnant/losing the baby, and moving in with Ben… I AM grateful but at the moment, I’m feeling overwhelmed. I want to take charge of my life- set my business up to do better, nurture friendships, make this house feel like my home too. I also think this will all positively affect my relationship with Ben. He will get a better version of me.

I’m moving! I have loved John for all of my adult life and one of the things I have always regretted was moving away from him. Although we were both very young and had many good things happen when we were apart, our spouses deaths opened up the possibility for us to be together again. It’s a big move for me - from Dallas to Rochester NY - but I can honestly say that I am happier now than I ever imagined. My adult children and 5 grandchildren are still in Dallas, but I have the opportunity to visit them whenever I want to and still have this incredible life with the love of my life.

When Dad had his emergency open heart surgery. It made me really realize how fragile life can be and how you have to enjoy each day to the fullest. I am definitely relieved and so excited for the years ahead with my Daddio!

I transitioned from having a baby to having a toddler, which was both a slow change and a quick one. I don’t really miss the baby days, but in a lot of ways a toddler is a much harder experience. My patience is tested on a regular basis, and I know it’s not going to get better anytime soon. But she also started going to preschool a few hours a week, which helps me to be a better mom.

I took my parents to Japan, and caught up with friends and family from my time on student exchange. Such a happy and enjoyable experience, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to have done it.

I’ve started group therapy specifically for BPD and i hope that it will be affecting me in a really positive way as it is a bit early to tell just yet. I am beyond grateful and relieved to be able to receive this help as it’s been 10ish years in the making!

I got stuck without a job for about four months this winter - October into February. I spent the first eight weeks of that time travelling, which I greatly enjoyed, with the goal/expectation that I would have a job by the end of that period. However, when I still had not secured a job by early December I went home to my parents and spent about two months there unemployed and trying to save money (which my parents fortunately made relatively easy for me). It was my first big stretch of unemployment since I graduated college, and my first time not having anything to do school- or work-wise (or a break with a clear end date) since I was old enough to notice or care about these things. I'm somewhat resentful about this, and I was definitely resentful during those two months. I turned down multiple jobs at different points during this period because I thought I had another job in the bag, only for that job to fall apart for some unnecessary reason. At the same time, I am, in hindsight, somewhat grateful for that time. I was able to rest in a way that I haven't otherwise rested since graduating college. I found that I can find things to do that are cheap or free and that give structure to my days while I look for the next job. I learned about myself during that period and gained more resilience, and for that I am grateful and inspired.

This year I got pregnant. After having a miscarriage in 2023, it was a huge blessing. I’m now 34 weeks pregnant. This year, I completed the Business Lift course, stretched myself and my skills, expanded my impact to many more people through my work. I elevated my craft and was able to receive generously for it. I paid back my studies and saved about 700k. I took myself and my little one to Turkey and flew in a hot air balloon. 🎈 A highlight experience. This year was immensely significant. A growth filled year professionally and personally. I have been processing my previous birth and readying myself for nurturing my little girl. It’s been quite a journey recently. I was pushing to the limit with work and travels and living and being more. A part of me threatened by the imminent new phase of mothering. From the third trimester I’ve actively shifted gear and slowed down. Body heavy, tired, heart full with unfelt emotions. The need for calm, quiet, stillness and slowing down. I’m finally honoring this need. In so proud of myself for who I’ve become this year and I’m excited to meet the version I’m becoming.

Having a manic episode and going to a psychiatric hospital very scary, loss of control, strayed so far from my normal self changed my life forever and was a bit traumatic but i am grateful because i understand myself a lot better now i am inspired to connect to my spiritual side in healthy ways by meditation, prayer, and becoming part of a religious jewish community (chabad) this experience has made me take care of myself in new ways and made me a better person

I am grateful that I got to go the CA conference -- although resentful that I ended up paying for it! It inspired me to apply to the CA, and I do hope I get in.

My Uncle is in the death process .. during this high holiday season …There are moments he is aware and moments he is reaching for something we can not see.. hospice says he could be seeing and talking to family members who have died .. that he is on his own journey as his life ends .. he and my Aunt just celebrated 75 years together ( imagine that ! ) I think he was lucid enough to understand and now he is at this point .. it’s such a different experience. We are watching somebody slowly die before our eyes. All we can do is keep them as comfortable as possible then we walk back into the other room and we visit with my aunt and we laugh, we cry we share a meal , we listen and we see the sadness in my Aunt’s eyes… I sometimes just don’t understand God’s plan here or if there is a plan, I mean here is this honorable man why can’t he just close his eyes and peacefully go on his next journey? Why does he slowly have to leave? We who survive him watch… With the reminder that they are the last of that generation of our family. My uncle has always been around to help when needed .. to laugh , love teach … His 96 years on this planet were/are incredible. He is truly a honorable man.. he helped anyone. A large part of his life was devoted to service to others. He over saw Chevra Kadisha and was there to help so many families at the worst part of their lives … so many families he guided through the hardest journey , including myself when I lost my parents.. I suppose after 96 years you’re just supposed to celebrate their life at the same time you just don’t want it to flicker out. I’m overcoming my fear of seeing someone at that end stage of life someone I’ve loved greatly. It is a very hard and scary , but the thing I’ve come to realize is Its about being there for my Aunt and my cousin who is more like a brother to me .. He has done everything possible to guide and be there for his parents .. He is handling this with such grace and compassion .. I’m sure there are times when he feels as if he is breaking … yet for now It’s about my Uncle’s journey and it’s our deed to see him on his way. We know so little about what the person who is in the process of dying is going through mentally …we can guess by watching and listening.. I hope he is seeing family that makes him happy .. I hope they’re helping to guide him during this time.. We who survive only know the sadness for now … I’m trying to see the beauty in saying goodbye. I am trying .. Watching my cousin shoulder all of this responsibility and caring for his parents has been beautiful to watch and I know it’s been incredibly difficult for him. He’s a good soul. He too is an honorable man like his father.. I am inspired by his caring and his compassion his ability to constantly try and do the right thing and then do it over again when it doesn’t work out and then find a way to make it better if that makes sense..

My divorce was finalized. I moved into an apartment by myself. I had to figure out all the bills. I had to figure out holidays. It was a growing experience. I had to figure out which friends I wanted to spend time with. I had to figure out if I felt good spending time with family. I figured out that I am happy. I know who I want to spend time with. I downsized but realize I want to even have less. I figured out that I put my own desires last. I am excited that I don't have to do that any longer.

Nina moved out on October 3rd, the first one of my babies is leaving the house… My father having to accept that walking will never be the same again - an on top another cancer diagnosis.

Significant to me, I stopped eating dark chocolate every day with my morning tea while I was writing Morning Pages. The significance is that the habit was an addictive one, a compulsive one. I felt anxious if my store of chocolate got low. The surprising collateral benefit is that I lost 8 pounds. I always thought I didn’t have any habits to give up that would lead to a weight loss. I am grateful for quitting the habit and for the weight loss.

Well, most significantly, I just got laid off, abruptly, from my job which I'd had for 3 years. The application for unemployment is more annoying than in the past, with having to verify one's identity and with receiving e-mail notices from the Unemployment office. Mostly feel resentful, though am grateful to have extra time to take care of some stuff at home. I have managed to stay sober and continue to attend AA meetings regularly, so have made some new friends, which is nice. I don't feel super close to any of them, but it's better than being isolated. Have continued to be involved with J, much better potential partner than K, though not sure J really likes me sufficiently for me to stay with him long term. On the other hand, have felt better about NOT being with K, who I think I always knew was a little crazy. He has texted and e-mailed intermittently this past year, though I finally basically told him to get lost, which felt good. He said he was surprised that he had "done more damage" to me than he thought. Obviously, he is clueless -- you go out with an old, lonely woman and say you want a relationship with her, and then leave her dangling while you chase other women, and you think that's not going to be emotionally harmful? How stupid can you get? So, yeah, resentful about that whole thing, still. Though even that experience was ultimately good, because I learned that I'd been lying to myself about not caring whether or not I had a partner, and learned to be a bit more cautious about dating. And I wouldn't have given J a chance if I hadn't realized how much I wanted a man in my life.

My heart issues was a big big deal, it put mortality in front of me in a way that I have never experienced before. I am still struggling with it. I am overwhelmed by the feelings and I seem paralyzed to respond.

October 7 has taken over the entire year. I've never been so scared as that day, in Kiryat Malachi with the girls asleep, Itay standing over the bed at 6.30am and telling me to get dressed. Not being sure whether to stay or to go, since we were not that far from the border and instructions were to stay inside, showing the girls two films while we packed up the car. Making lunch and wondering - are we wasting time? Are terrorists on the way to this house? Driving back through checkpoints with the army ready to shoot from behind open car doors. Trying to plan our route to avoid terrorists on the roads. It felt - and still does sometimes - feel like a film. I'm so hurt and heartbroken by the hostages and what is happening to them, the barbarism of that day. Seeing those videos made me feel the closest I've ever felt to a panic attack. It's been so scary not being able to sleep without clothes on in case of a siren, to have my flip flops lined up by the door. To consciously not to check the news because I can't keep reading all these horrible things, but to feel guilty at not doing so, to find out i should have actually read it because there's a terror attack close by, or rockets coming that I was unaware of. To see the funerals of the soldiers, their families making speeches, to share that grief - but not really, of course, and to think - what if that was my girls? How would I even live? It makes me so sad to be thinking about leaving this country, a place where I have been so happy. I remember being 22 and feeling this was where I belong, later getting married, learning Hebrew and looking at those people who left and thinking that I had really succeeded in building my life here. Now I realise I have built a life in a war zone and my children are here with me and I can't imagine leaving but I can't imagine staying either. How long can I wait, hoping everything will go back to the way it was?

The layoff the prior year still has me jolted. October 7 massacre still sits in my bones everyday. But then there's the huge conversation I had with my sisters in the parking lot. And Nadav being born. And Abba's bladder cancer diagnosis. And that we're literally running out of money. It's too much. I have never felt this out of control, scared, and spiraling.

10/7 Still shocked. Gutted. Heartbroken.

I can't think of one particular event, but my relationship with G-d evolving, and teaching myself how to trust the universe has had a profound impact on my spirituality/ relationship with Judaism as a religion. This coincided with me having money worries after resigning from my job post 7/10. I am grateful for this in that I can look back when I'm feeling anxious and see how things always turn out OK. Realising that Hashem is always there, and there is a destiny for me and that I just have to breathe is changing (as I'm still working on it !) my outlook on life and future. I developed closer bonds with friends , friendships that are incredibly important to me.

I started a career that I wasn’t expecting. Being a park ranger has been a massively positive experience, living my values and adjusting with the seasons. I am so grateful.

I drove cross-country in April to go home for the first time in 14 years to be there for the eclipse. It was surreal to see all my family, and the eclipse itself was absolutely wild. Being back home again was both heart-achingly sad and also a relief and also so stressful. My mom looks old, and my cousins are grandparents, and my aunt and uncle are also getting up there. I was so grateful for my friend and her partner who came down to be with me so that I wasn’t just alone with memories and family the entire time. The traveling on my own was fun and a little scary but also pretty empowering; I’ve traveled on my own plenty, but that was a lot of driving through empty country by myself, and I like knowing I can do that.

My medicine was approved by my insurance company. The$19k co-pay had also been handled. Such a major relief. I am so relieved and very grateful 🙏🏿.

My mother-in-law died. I wished that I had the opportunity to ask her questions and be more supportive. Unfortunately, her passing was accompanied with family discord. Resentful for many months…letting go and letting it be now.

After writing about how amazing it felt to get poached from the job that burned me out and left me feeling lonely last year, I lost that job four months later. And it was no better than the one I left, just with a different toxic boss offering a different flavor of burnout culture. Though I enjoyed my coworkers, I was way overworked and miserable and got little guidance from my boss. Then, I showed up on a Tuesday and was fired before I put my bag down. And they blocked my unemployment claim. The event left me both resentful and very grateful. Being fired stinks, but it was telling that my first thought upon hearing the news was, "Wait, so you mean I'm free now?" It's weird to feel sad for having lost something you didn't really enjoy. Thankfully, I've been able to take time for my mental health and work out the next step. I recently had the chance to do volunteer work helping kids and remembered how much joy that gives me. The plan is to get more of that in my life this year.

I accepted a position as Publicity and Events Manager for a Jewish Book Club Community; Jewish Joy Book Club. I am so grateful to be part of a proudly Jewish company that celebrates life and joy, Jewish authors writing stories of proud Jewish characters living well and falling in love. 2300+ members; a Jewish Joy Book Subscription box and plans for a Jewish Joy Con in 2026. Feeling “More JOY, Less OY!

I have been remodeling my home, and it has been more than a year, and I am not finished but have made significant progress. It makes me happy to see the progress and enjoy the beauty of my living room. Grateful and relieved of progress made and looking forward to what is still to come.

Becoming a homeowner! So grateful to have gotten to this point, but still so far to go in getting the place the way we want it. We've still got a lot of boxes to unpack, furniture to buy, and walls to fix, but it's OURS.

I got married! We had been together for nearly 18 years, lived together for nearly 16, when we were out at dinner and he said something like "I just assumed we'd get married eventually," to which I replied "A girl likes to be asked!" So he did. Initially, I thought that we'd just go to city hall with another couple (our closest friends) as witnesses, but a look at the calendar made obvious that the 18th anniversary of our first date was a Sunday, so no city hall. Instead, we had a small (a dozen guests) ceremony at home, officiated by a close friend who is a poet, and who said that if we were a book, we'd be a bestseller; that totally worked for us! We had a chuppah, held by my adult offspring, the two kids I took in as teenagers (now adults) and the daughter of our closest friends; her parents were our witnesses and signed the ketubah, as planned. Every person who was there was incredibly important to us and was there for a reason, and we had bagels before the ceremony, champagne after. About the ketubah: it was a custom work done in hand-cut paper, with our own text, and the artist incorporated images that were important to us, including our cats. After the ceremony, we all went to a neighborhood restaurant, where they had an outdoor tent, and we had a fabulous part for 50 guests! After 18 years, I didn't know if it would feel like a big deal, or different, but ZOMG yes, it surely did! The process of planning everything together, discussing it, thinking about who we wanted to share the day with, writing our vows, saying our vows in our outside voices, in front of our closest friends, and celebrating with a party and cake, aside from being fun, solidified our commitment both to us and to our friends. Best decision I every made! And for bonus points, my husband is not Jewish, was raised Catholic, and was not just supportive but enthusiastic about incorporating my Jewish traditions. When I asked him what he wanted out of the day, he said a party and for me to have a pretty dress!

I had a baby!!!!!!! How didn't it affect me? Well, I will say that it didn't feel like an identity shift, in that I'm the same "I" with plenty of continuity. But what a major event and what a clarification of priorities! Nothing is simple and many things are difficult, and sometimes really grueling, but look, T. is a star! She's just the best, she's so much fun. She makes me smile every day and she is just so much herself, already. It's so fun to see what she's up to every day. I've been falling behind on gratitude journaling, but every time I think of it, she's the answer.

Well…it certainly was a significant experience for me to ask my parents if I could move back in with them again after moving out to LA for a second time to take on a teaching position that was one of the worst jobs I had ever had. This, as you — myself — know, came after living in Jess and Marlon’s garage for far longer than I had expected, not to mention not one, but two bouts of covid (although sure, Sept/Oct’s covid was never confirmed because that lab lost my PCR test results…but anyways…) It has been a relief to move back home, but it has been exceedingly frustrating that I am *still* searching for a better job outside of teaching that would pay enough for me to have my own apartment again. It is unfortunately an embarrassment to be effectively unemployed for this long and to feel like all of my degrees, certifications, and professional experiences are not valued in the world. I know all of that IS valuable, and yet…here I am, still searching — and about to cross the 300 application mark, no less. I haven’t had this much of a challenge finding a full-time job since graduating into the “great recession” of 2008. It has seriously made me wonder whether any point in my life will be a prosperous time, economically speaking. Even so, I am grateful for the love and support that I do have. If not for my cousins in CA and for my immediate family here and for my friends, new and old, I would be in a far more dire situation than I am right now. I sincerely hope that by the time I read this, my professional life is in a much better place, and that my personal life is flourishing as well (dare I say maybe even romantically speaking too).

This past year, I stood up for myself in ways big & small. I wasn’t always perfect, but I set boundaries where needed and, for the most part, people have respected them. Parts of me aren’t always a fan of that, but it’s for the greater good in the long run. It’s eased some of the chaos in my mind & in my heart.

I went on a week long journey to Poland, visiting concentration camps, sites of massacres, shtetls where Jews once lived, museums, etc. It was very powerful, difficult, emotional, and in some ways uplifting as we Jews are still here.

My husband was laid off from his job last month. It is affecting us in the costs for health insurance and other financial ways, but he is happier. He is taking some time off and then we'll figure things out. I am trying to have a more frugal midset, which isn't a bad thing!

Last November, my wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, putting us on the physical (for her) and emotional (for all of us) roller coaster of cancer treatment. It hasn’t been pleasant, but given how well she’s doing now, I’d have to say my primary feeling about it is gratitude - for modern medicine, for friends and family who are willing and able to step up whenever needed, and for my amazing wife who has done everything she could to keep our lives as “normal” as possible under the circumstances. I’m very very lucky.

The decision to end my marriage. I'm grateful that this was a mutual decision and that we were both so honest in how we felt to be able to come to that decision. I'm relieved that I listened to my body and intuition. I'm resentful that my partner is suing me for spousal support and I'm inspired to make something beautiful out of all of this.

My couple almost ended because of my mistakes. I got lost and got stuck in my worst ways. I felt terrible and awful before finally being able to get out of it all.

Oct 7th. It has been awful. A scary time for Jews everywhere. Scary time in Israel on so many levels. One of the worst aspects is seeing how fear has brought out the worst within our own community. People, based on fear, who celebrate the killing of others. Who don't show compassion. As I always say, being the 'good guys' is hard because you have to be better than others.

I got a new dog. A Belgium Malinois. Kita sent him to me. I miss my puppies and had grieved Kita enormously. One day I felt her leave me. Then the family that had Ghost said they could not keep him. Did not know the breed. Tough dog. Reactive. Took time for Leela. He protects us and is very close to me. Follows me everywhere.

This past May, my sweet first born progeny graduated from high school! And it blows my mind that their graduation was held at Red Rocks - yes the epic concert venue Red Rocks. Such lucky duckies! And it surely made for a fabulous experience partaking in the majesty while listening to the lengthy ceremony. When my Chloe's name was called and they walked across the stage, it was as if time stopped. I stood and whooped with glee - feeling my heart swell with pride and joy . . . Chloe with their dyslexia and mental health challenges and having to overcome so much to get to where they are today! And, with that also came the bittersweet gnawing grief of realizing without a doubt that my baby is now a young adult and is on their path to fly out of my nest into their brave new life. This fact I both celebrate and embrace and as a mother I can't help but also silently grieve the loss of my "tiny baby" who snuggled so sweetly in my sling against my belly . . . and has over the years transformed into this amazing, smart, accomplshed, talented, creative, authentic, kind, brilliant, and beautiful young adult who is now well on their way to claim their path into the adult world. I was filled with so many emotions it was really hard - and it brought up my own internal, ongoing trauma history of my horrific teen years and remembering the sting that no one came to see me graduate high school. What a contrast to the rallying of support in the present for my darling child! And, it was so heartwarming to behold that the cycle of intergenerational abuse and neglect has finally been broken. I am grateful, proud, and infinitely elated that Chloe can step out into the world confidently - knowing that they will always have all the love, support, and encouragement they deserve.

On July 4th 2024, I got married to my partner of five and a half years. Our marriage took place at my wife’s family/childhood home in NJ. We had over 125 guests and it was one of the hottest days of the entire summer! Although there were some mishaps, it was one of the happiest, supportive, loving, and inspiring moments of my life. My wife and I put our blood, sweat, tears (and finances) into planning and preparing for the big day. I am so grateful to have spent it with the love of my life and with the people closest to us. Following the wedding day, I was overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude and relief. I also slept for more than 24 hours to recuperate my mind, body, and soul. I love you with all my heart Alexandra Christie Pauline, and will always abide by the vows reflected in our Ketubah and wedding speech.

I lost my beloved brother-in-law Michael, both of us at the age of 59. I realized with a sinking feeling as he slipped away that I would turn 60 without him. And on Sunday, 10 months later, I did. I might have felt sad, angry, or resentful about this, but instead I feel only gratitude - each day is now a gift and a way to honor him. I don't take life for granted.

Got married in Scotland, in a kilt. Life-changing

October 7. It changed everything and nothing. I was lying in bed that Shabbat morning and (as usual) reached for my phone to glance through notifications. Update after update. First, dozens were killed, then the first word of hostages, then hundreds, maybe even three hundred, murdered by Hamas infiltrators. They were in Sderot, Be'eri, other kibbutzim, at a music festival... As the numbers grew larger and news grew darker, it became clear that the world had tilted. Twelve hundred murdered. Two hundred fifty hostages. What was I doing in the west? My heart was in the East. I was bleeding and screaming, but the people around me didn't notice. For weeks and months, I've been grieving while walking through each day as if all is not broken. So, I've learned to find community even in the secular world. Friends from childhood stepped forward (unexpectedly) to walk beside me. I learned that colleagues I had trusted as allies were...not. I remembered that we are taught that even a funeral procession that comes across a wedding procession is required to walk a few steps with bride and groom. I found ways to smile and even feel joy. I found strength in our tradition to laugh darkly through pain. (Is there a blessing for the czar? May God bless and keep the czar...far away from us!) My values have crystallized: yirah (awe), ometz (courage), chesed (kindness), and simchah (joy). October 7 made me fear for my security and safety in every place. I had always thought that Israel would be safe if I were forced to run from the United States. Now, even Israel, our home, faces existential threat. October 7 is the most significant event of the past year. It has made me stronger. It has connected me more deeply to my Jewish ancestors, my Jewish community, and our future. Abba Kovner said, "Remember the past; live in the present; believe in the future." This is how it affected me. And who knows, perhaps it is for this time, that we were born.

This past year, my grandma passed. She chose to end her life, peacefully by ceasing to eat and drink, allowing us to say goodbye. I received a call from my dad on Shabbat, at camp, where he said that my grandmother took two sharp breaths, and then did not take any more. Her name is Maryann Toub, born Maryann Zall. I was relieved to know she didn’t feel pain, that she was “in a better place,” that my dad and uncle could exhale and start to truly process. I am grateful for the community that I was surrounded by, and for the space they gave me. I was inspired by her ability to be truthful—but honestly, I felt resentment towards the world, and dare I say, her—how could she not want to see me blossom? Because she had reached the end of her life, which was inspiring to see, but quite hard! Death sucks, and I wish I could’ve done more. It affected me thoroughly—I’m not sure how exactly. I feel bad about that. She offers a light that guides me, one I didn’t know how bright it really was until I managed her memorial Zoom, and heard from all corners of her life, with people praising her generosity, love, and more. I love her, and I miss her.

This year, in January, my daughter died. She had a heart condition and transplant at a very young age so she was aware of the possibility of having a short life compared to most. As such she had a dark sense of humor and constantly joked about her own demise. We always knew it was eminent but even knowing that doesn't make it easy to take. Her birthday was the following month, and it was almost unbearable. I've had a lot of sorrow about this and some resentment in my life being so long with hers being so short. Life has been traced in sorrow since then for me. The only thing that I have been inspired to do from this is to go on new adventures on her birthday here forward. She loved trying something new or going someplace new for her birthday so, to me, it's the only way that I can celebrate this beautiful life that I was privileged to be a part of, even if so briefly. I am forever changed.

Woof. The menty B and subsequent journey. Well it deeply affected me. It changed my life, and the course of it. I suppose I am grateful, I wouldn’t have been able to go on the journey I began without it. Although, it certainly sucked very much while it was happening. I am relieved I was able (am able) to get the help I need. I am not resentful. I suppose I am inspired. For the first time, really ever, I’m actually sort of excited about the future and pursuing newfound passions.

My friendship with Anna deepened in a big way this year. We ran a half marathon together in my hometown. We did a dive trip to Bonaire on our own. We went to levels of vulnerability and just deep kinship and love that I've only rarely experienced. We are walking such similar life paths right now and living at the same vibrational energy. I'm deeply thankful. I love to marvel over the fact that I met this kindred spirit, soul sister and friend because we randomly found ourselves on the same dive boat in Cozumel. Our origin story makes me believe in god.

My apartment got moldy and mushroom-infested and we had to vacate the property. It's still not resolved, and Mama and I still don't have our own home. It made me realize how scared/unsafe/insecure I feel without a home, probably as an effect of moving around so much as a child. Not sure what to do about that still, but I'll figure it out.

I am my father's only daughter. He died at the end of May. He'd been sick with Parkinson's for a long time, so it was not a surprise, and in many ways was a blessing. I was out of town on a trip when he passed, which was expected. I went to see him, along with most of my kids, before my trip (which I was encouraged to take), shortly after he moved to hospice care. It was so apparent that my utility in his life began and ended with giving him grandchildren. No surprise there, either. Still sobering. His funeral and memorial events stretched over the next three weeks. My younger brothers worked through their grief, and their respective relationships to him... and it was like we belonged to different families. They were the children he wanted, and I was the awkward problem, in orbit around their shared experience of family. I'm not even angry, or properly sad. It's just been a weary reminder of another place where I didn't really belong.

One of the most significant experiences that has ever happened in my life is getting married this past year. I feel so blessed to have achieved everything I’ve wanted to in life, including meeting a fabulous man and committing to going the journey together. I love Aaron so much (even though there are times that I dislike him, beyond words). Being married has continued to teach me more things about myself and I’m so blessed that he continues to love me through the good, bad, the ugly and strange. I am overall grateful for the experience of February 29 and ongoing life adventure that we will continue together.

We took an amazing trip this year to Japan. In the dark depths of January I read books, perused blogs, planned and planned—finding the most beautiful hot springs, arranging train tickets, booking a day at Ghibli Park. The trip was incredible, and part of what made it special was the delight the kids have in everything Japanese. We did too many things, as we do. We ate fantastic food. It was great.

The situation at work was miserable - by the time I left things were rough and someone else had taken on most of the “fun” stuff. People were willing to work with Peter so things began to happen for him and I got left behind. Being retired is wonderful

Uhhhh well I just got diagnosed with breast cancer at age 30 on 9.26.24 so that is very significant! I am quite sad over the impact this will have on my life and lifestyle, even though my chances for survival are thankfully high.

My wife was diagnosed with celiac disease and i was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. I can't even name the feelings

The realization that I am what kids call retarded and always have been. It obviously contributes to and exacerbates the treatment-resistant depression but IMO it’s always good to have answers.

This past year I chaired the annual conference for my national professional association. It was scary and so liberating. I felt empowered. I felt connected. I felt like my skills and strengths contributed to something bigger than me and my normal sphere of influence. I received so much positive feedback about my public speaking and presence - feedback that was humbling and deeply satisfying. I am grateful for having said yes to the opportunity.

The October 7 attacks on Israel loom as the most significant thing that happened in the last year. It happened one month after my family and I converted to Judaism. Experiencing the gravity of those attacks and its implications, including the rise of antisemitism in the US, felt like I was radically cleaved from my former life and sealed into the Jewish people. I feel this way because immediately there was a huge chasm between how my non-Jewish extended family and friends network experienced it and how I experienced it, and zero distance between how I experienced it and how my Jewish community experienced it. On one level I am amazed at how immediately consistent my reaction was to all the other Jews I know, even though I had only formally converted a short time ago. On another level, I remain sad that my family beyond my wife and kids hasn’t grasped how all-consuming and devastating this has been for us. The timing of it all really makes me wonder why it has all played out this way.

Mark died while biking on August 24. I was dumbfounded. And mostly I felt so lucky and grateful that it wasn’t me, and that I am alive. And that Rena, the boys, and my sister are all well (even if Elijah is one of the worried well). It inspired me to be grateful and to treasure each day.

Oct 7,Hurt my psyche! No! No! Very! War is not pleasant!

October 7, 2023 was the blackest day in my living memory. I was horrified by the events and remain horrified by the fact that more than 100 Jewish people, among them babies remain in captivity a year later. I remain horrified that the world has turned upside down and is blaming the victim (us, Jews) for the Holocaust of 2023. The event affected me mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, on all planes and an all levels of my being. I became much more aware that our lives are as precarious, maybe even more precarious, than before. I now question, silently, whether my co-workers and non-Jewish acquaintances are antisemite and Jew-haters who mask themselves and who just wait for the right moment to strike. I became less trusting but, at the same time, more vocal about my Jewishness. On some level, I stopped caring whether people judge me for who I am. If I do not speak for my beliefs, who will??? I believe I have to be an example to my children so they know the world is against them and are ready... Scary... My mother-in-law, Emma, passed away in early April. We are still adjusting to that fact...

The Oct 7 attack and people's response to it motivated me to learn more about the Palestinian experience. I am grateful that I have broadened my understanding of this issue, but it also has led me to see much of the Jewish population, including my own parents, as bigots. Like the young adults in the film Israelism, I feel like I was sold a pack of lies in my Jewish education. Terrorist attacks are still terrorist attacks, but I have a better understanding of why some Palestinians feel, as Noa Baum said in her memoir, that they have little to live for and everything to die for under Israeli occupation. Just a few days ago, Israel launched a ground attack into Lebanon, after successfully intercepting missals shot from Iran. I hope a year from now Israel still exists as a Jewish state, and that its citizens finally vote out the right-wing war-mongers and reach some resolution with the Palestinians and its neighbors.

I suppose it's October 7th, right? I feel like it's more important that I reject what is being done in my name as a Jew, but I've also fallen down at every opportunity to demonstrate that, other than annoying a few family members on social media. Not nothing, but

I got really real with my best friend about the state of our relationship. It's probably good, but we are really in it right now and it's hard to imagine a time that will feel easeful between us again. I feel super sad and stressed about, but I'm trusting that it will lead to growth that needs to happen.

I've had the experience of working with people I like and respect at my new job at a plant nursery. I have come to embrace and enjoy my solitude after my divorce. I've evolved my self view looking back on my many jobs and two marriages that ended. For the most part I'm glad to have had the experiences I've had. I've found I have more self-forgiveness for my ignorance, in multiple ways and on many different levels, each time I find it slightly deeper than I thought possible. My friend Jolie's daughter died of an OD in April. I had to brave going to visit her a few days after and shared a deeper grief and bonding that was full of grace. I sat in the funeral parlor and walked with her on the beach talking about how she felt. I was able to get a referral for her to a good therapist that she really likes. I feel like I was able to help in some small way. I feel more gratitude for these experiences even if they are full of grief, the shared grief of being human.

Moved away from wheel throwing, and started exclusively hand-building. More specifically, I'm coil-building large, heavy vases of various shapes. They have a clearly handmade, almost organic appearance that I find compelling. I'm getting better and better at it as the weeks progress. It also allows me to experiment with glazing more too. (Although our glaze options are still curtailed by the tragic Custer's feldspar situations--the US lost its last domestic source of potassium feldspar.) I am absolutely inspired, and it's also a very meditative way to create pottery. It will eventually become an issue, though, since I only have room for so many of these gargantuan artworks.

I left my job of 6 years for a new one, across the country. This is one of the biggest leaps of faith I've ever taken and was incredibly scary. I'm still scared. How do I know what is best for me and if I made the right decision? I have felt overwhelming gratitude while also worrying I didn't make the right decision. No matter what, I know I've pushed myself. This is the next phase for me and for my career.

My mom moved from her condo to a one bedroom room apartment this year and then recently she moved from the one bedroom to a studio. This was a major event for her and for me. I’ve been helping her with needs at least twice a month. It has been a lot of work for me, however, I am approaching this with love and are taking things in stride.

In the past year, something significant was thay I got to conplete my dream of visiting all seven continents. More than that, I got to go with my best friend, plunge into the antarctic ocean, greet stinky penguins, and meet people from all over the world. It left me feeling inspired, grateful and full of wonder.

We moved into our home. Our home that we chose together. It was a journey - We looked at many houses, could we envision our lives together in the blue house or the pool house or bella vista. We finally chose the green house, with the caveat that we moved the jacuzzi out of the principle bedroom. It is still a work in progress, but it feels solid, safe, secure. We are home.

October 7th There are no words to describe how it's affected me. I am not the same. My world is not the same.

We got to cruise on the Galatic Starcruiser, the "Star Wars Hotel", the Halcyon, The Lady H Originally we were planning for our 5 year anniversairy and then the announced the closing the marketing was poorly done I wish i knew how amazing it would be, we would have gone more than once. We got to LARP / be in universe, play. It was interactive theater but better. it was amazing food and absolutely amazing customer service. better than any four seasons hotel. it really is an absolute travesty it was closed. I am very grateful mom paid. I am very thankful we found the community of rebels which helped making booking possible. My husband even got a halycon tatoo.

Changed jobs Grateful

After buying and remodelling the Brighton flat, I discovered I don't want to live there. There are two reasons for this; firstly, I found it virtually impossible to get a gay social life going. Secondly, the people in the building, I began to dread going into it. So, I put it up for sale. As of October 1st, it's under offer but not completed.

The big event of the past year has been my weight loss. It has been difficult and awful, amazing and relieving, and above all complex. What does it mean to succeed with a breakthrough drug after decades of failure? How do I hold the years of feeling shame, failure and frustration? How do I embrace my healthier body and enjoy how I look and feel without betraying my larger self?

getting a 2nd opinion of my cancer diagnosis. I was frightened to tell my oncologist I want to get a 2nd opinion. I was nervous making and keeping the 2nd opinion arrangements. I was relieved when I received the 2nd opinion to know that I was doing everything I could do, she explained my test results and she confirmed what my local doctors said. I am still a little concerned that she is overoptimistic.

This past March we hired a fundraising manager which has made my work life easier and I'm training her so she can take over and I can move into real less working hrs

I realised that I have to take action with my health because I already was obese based on my BMI so I started to track calories and take exercising seriously. I am grateful for this experience because while the weight loss journey stalled for now, I can feel the effects of what I'm doing in my energy levels, my endurance, the way my body looks less flabby, and some of my clothes feeling less tighter.

I got engaged! It's something I've been looking forward to for a while, and I was really excited and happy about it. Even though I knew that it was coming eventually, there is a level of relief at that moment, at having crossed that threshold with my partner.

I finally had knee surgery - painful but relieved it is over - got lots of love & support from friends & acquaintances, will do 2nd knee.

My relationship with Judaism, or at least with the Jewish communities of which I've been a part, is shaken this year. I'm sure this will come up in many of my 10Qs. October 7 was awful. I though about many things in the moment I first heard about it, but I didn't fathom how profoundly it would affect my own sense of self. I think for me, hearing about 10/7 was a little different. In place grief and horror at what had already happened, I felt grief and despair for what I knew was next. I instantly knew that even though the attack was in itself a catastrophe, that it was inevitably going to lead to more catastrophe -- for Palestinians, for Israelis, possibly for the region and maybe even for the world. What I didn't anticipate was the response of my community being so singularly focused on Jewish suffering to the exclusion of any sympathy for Palestinians. I'm angry, and hurt, and disappointed -- emotions I know I share with my Jewish community during this difficult year. But the reason I'm angry is that people, mostly innocents, are dying, starving, traumatized and displaced. The reason I'm hurt is that I feel complicit, as a Jew, in their suffering. The reason I'm disappointed is that so many members of my community restricting their compassion to Jewish victims while minimizing or even justifying the suffering of others. I cannot believe it has been a year. I've been struggling with this for a year.

The most significant thing for me personally was turning 40. Not only the start of a new decade, but the start of *gulp* middle age! I am grateful to have made it to 40, as many don't. As much as I say age is only a number and other such sayings, 40 does hit different. It makes you start thinking about your own mortality and how quickly life goes by. How am I 40 already? I just turned 16, didn't I?

I gave birth to my second son. His name is Leo. I got another opportunity to experience birth and postpartum. It is truly the most transformative and transcendental experience one can have. The line between earth and souls collide. The heart breaks open and a breath is taken. The magnitude of birth is too much to comprehend when going through it. Only in reflection can you hold the reverence it deserves. I am proud and I am grateful beyond measure to be able to have had another child.

I got a job as projest assistant with IOM Qatar on 1st February 2023. This was a huge step for my family even though my family had to separate with the hope of reuniting when I settle, then my family received the Canada Permanent residence. We will all unite in Canada by the grace and mercy of God as a family of 5 by April 30th 2025. I am eternally grateful to God. I am relieved. I am happy. I am inspired

Wow so many life-changing things have happened this year. I found out I was pregnant in the end of October 2023. Had an abortion. Got dumped by my emotionally abusive ex. That breakup was one of the hardest things I have been through. I lacked community. I felt so lonely and so terrified. I felt stranded and broken. And through that journey I feel like I have finally unlocked the truest version of myself. I feel her finally breaking free of societal expectations and fear of judgement from others. I'm becoming the fierce feminist I always wanted to be. I am becoming the woman I always imagined myself to be one day. I am the woman who little me would have run to for safety. Maybe I am grateful that it all happened. Truly, the breakup with Josh was like the final crack in the dam that allowed everything to break free. I finally confronted the abuse from my dad and my brother. And even my mom. I finally confronted the reality of who my family are instead of living in the rosy image I had created in my head. I feel free. I feel genuinely free and strong for the first time in my life. I feel inspired and excited for this new chapter. For this new version of me and everything that she will do. I feel ready to turn my own experience into a revolution that forever changes the world for women and girls.

In early May 2024, I injured my back while lifting a 5-gallon jug of water. After 20 weeks of intense "sciatica" pain, it became clear that conservative treatment methods were not working. I tried medicine (prednisone), physical therapy, and epidural steroid injections. This problem radically changed my quality of life because I could no longer walk without a cane and then only 50 - 100 feet! In the evening, the pain could be so intense, I was unable to do anything at home following my shortened workday. After 5 months, new x-rays and a recent MRI, I was encouraged to get back surgery. I connected with a very successful back surgeon who specializes in the surgery I need - "L5-S1 TLIF". A fairly complicated procedure but my surgeon, Dr. M. Musacchio does 200 of these surgeries a year, more than 98% of all neurosurgeons in the state of IL. So next Monday (in 5 days) I will undergo a 2-hour back surgery. Stay tuned and I'll share with you how it turned out.

Handling my work situation well. I’m pleased for myself that I was not going to continue at a job when it fealty so bad. I professionally presented reasons I wanted to leave. Deborah and I so far worked it out. Grateful to be working from home and for my job.

I have had both hips replaced in the past year (November 8 and June 19). I know that my resulting regaining of mobility and ease in walking are due to expertise, and engineering, and medical school, and physical therapists, and medication, and on and on... but to me, it feels like a miracle. I am so, so grateful--and relieved, to be out of pain. My partner and others have mentioned that my face looks different, and I had no idea why that might be. She told me: You're not in pain. You no longer look like you're in pain. I am so, so grateful.

I recently got laid off from my job. While it was a great company, I wasn’t really happy with the role I played. I struggled with the red tape and the procedures. I didn’t see me growing with them. Initially, I was overwhelmed and hysterical. In the wale of that situation, I started to look at the positive side of things. I now have the freedom to go and see my son graduate from his EOD training at the Elgin Air Force Base. I was able to get some new doctors appointments and work on my health and my hope is that I will be able to find a job that better suits me and I will be able to use the skills that I obtained from this position To advance my career.

I survived and escaped an abusive marriage. It's not what I want to be writing about, but nonetheless it is the most significant part of this past year. It had devastating effects on me mentally, emotionally and physically. It has been the most difficult part of my life to date. I am very resentful of my ex-husband. I do not forgive him for the things he did to me. I am grateful for the wonderful friends I have, without whose help I would not have gotten out and stayed out. I am grateful for my family and support system. There are so many good people in my life who have taken care of me and truly love me and want the best for me. I have to remember that he (my ex-husband) is the one who choose to abuse me and I cannot blame myself for not knowing better. He lied to me and manipulated me from the very beginning. I was granted a three year PFA against him prohibiting any and all forms of contact. I was granted a divorce on the first day of Pesach. Brings new significance to let my people go and leaving in haste. I did leave in haste. I literally ran away from home on 11/03/2023 with just a small bag. I made sure to get my Grandma's (z'l) photo and her conch shell too. I truly believed I had met and married the man of my dreams, until he wasn't. He abused me verbally, emotionally, psychologically, sexually and also managed to add in a little bit of physical abuse too. The straw that broke the camels back with his abusive episodes was on November 3rd when he attacked me in our bedroom and raped me in our bed. I felt so betrayed which is an understatement. I quickly became more afraid than I had ever been. I always thought there was a limit to what he would and would not do to me and at this moment I felt it all just go away. I could never have imagined him doing such a thing and now I felt as though nothing was off the table. I was afraid and I ran away to a friend's house, with whom I ended up living with for the next two months. She took me to report the incident to the police, we also went to the hospital and went through the rape exam. It was the longest day of my life. I am so thankful for such wonderful friends. I could not have made it through without them. I didn't know how to breathe, the pain in my chest was unbearable and I couldn't stop crying. It felt like this went on endlessly and I could see no end in sight. Thankfully it didn't end there. Today, 11 months later, I have come a long way. I still a ways to go, but I am getting better. My hair is going back, the constant chest pain did eventually stop, unless I get upset. The crying lessened tremendously, it has not completely stopped. I am very resentful of my ex-husband and I do not forgive him, nor do I feel the need to either. The life that we were building completely blew up and turned inside out. I am living in a very nice apartment trying to rebuild my life. I really miss the life I believed I had but never really existed. I will build myself a new life and it will be what I truly want and it will be peaceful and safe. I have an opportunity to do anything I want with my life and I will heal and live it my way. I can't wait to have my gardens again. I miss my chickens. The cat came with me. She likes me better anyhow.

I left consensual reality for the second time and it affirmed who I am, while also inadvertently harming someone very dear. It was a beautiful experience of healing that also holds within it a lot of collective darkness that I feel I need to move through me. I feel aligned with seismic change, while not quite knowing yet what that alignment means for my future.

Breast cancer diagnose. It put my life on pause. Just when I was making steps in the right direction with my business. Just when I was finally having more fun again and gaining new friends because of the salsa classes I started taking. Just when I felt I left my burnout behind and I had more energy and joy de vivre again. Just when I was feeling radiant and beautiful again. Just then it hit me. And oh boy did it suck. making yourself sick to get better is messed up. And often it didn’t rhyme well in my head. And I did feel sick a lot. From the chemo but also from all the little ailments that came as a result. I felt ugly: losing hair everywhere is not a great look. Even though everyone said I looked pretty with my headscarf, and often people didn’t even realise, in my head I felt like an ugly potato. My skin was bad and I felt bloated. I felt guilty. For not being able to be there for my kids and partner and family. For not being able to accommodate to my clients and having to let them wait. But there was joy and warmth as well. Lots of people love me and that is something you take for granted when everything goes how it goes. And I feel my business has taken a big step forward as well. I still feel restless. Can’t stay at home. The guilt is still there. And the sadness often pops up as well. And I cannot deal with peoples bullshit anymore. But I am grateful that everything worked and I am now finished with my treatment and it worked. And grateful for all the lovely people in my life.

Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. So yeah this year my husband informed me he wanted to separate from me and move out. He said I wasnt trying hard or at all to change things for him and that I had “left him” when I was going on adventures over the last couple years. Then over time he told me that his other girlfriend Megan was getting divorced and that he planned to buy a house with her and move in with her. So essentially he left me for the woman he cheated on me with and I had done so much emotional labor to be able to allow them to continue to date. This hurts more than I can imagine. We had already decided to sell our home of 6 years to escape his parents. Now we are “separating” though I’m not sure he doesn’t want to just divorce. He seems to really just not want to be with me or be by my side at all. Despite the fact he was happy being with me for so long. Over the last few months he’s told me some awful things. That he thinks I’ve never been good enough to him and that everything he’s ever told me is a lie. He claims he wants to make this as easy as possible for me but he isn’t really trying. He still makes me miserable whenever he can and I feel tormented constantly. It’s been exhausting just trying to make it all work. Also he’s stopped communicating in reasonable manners and just screams for no reason if he gets the chance. It’s like he doesn’t understand how things work. How did it affect you? How doesn’t it affect me? My entire life has turned completely over. I am a housewife. I thought we were going to make a family together. He wanted me to not work rather than fight with him about the chores. He wanted me to do more than my fair share over and over again like every man. He also told me he wanted children and a family and here we are. I am almost at the end of my ability to have kids and now I probably will not have kids. Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired? I think all but grateful. I am not feeling a lot of good emotions but I'm working on it right now.

The trip to Africa was THE most incredible trip ever. Grateful doesn't even describe it. To see the beautiful countries of Kenya and Rwanda with their kind people made my heart sing. Dubai was an extra treat; somewhere I've always wanted to go. The wildlife took my breath away and to be physical (and monetarily) able to do a gorilla trek was a definite highpoint of my life. It's always interesting to see different cultures and to see the way different people live. Of course, I'm grateful to be born in the USA with all the opportunities I've had. I still have to find a charity in Africa to support besides the Wildlife Foundation. Oct. 3, 2024

The Al-Aksa Flood, and the ensuing response, feel like defining moments of 2024. I am so saddened by the political responses from my own country, and Israel, and even more devastated by the catastrophic and callous loss of life.

7 oct. angry and resentful at so many in academia and professional circles. That said, it also forced me to firm up my Jewish practices, mostly in wrapping Tefillin and Shabbat observance. To be honest, I’d rather be a worse Jew in exchange for the loss not happening. I’d rather a weaker personal relationship with G-d for less lives lost. Yet, I wake up and say modi. I wrap. I say my prayers. It just feels awful this closer relationship with my practice was jump started from such loss.

My theater experiences included Directing “Leading Ladies,” playing in “Fiddler” for both JFed VOPA, and doing the JFed drama “The Wisdom of Eve.” The last was a challenge because we lost our venue and there were clashes with the director; it was still a good play. These experiences are sources of inspiration and feelings of camaraderie and achievement.

Well, I stopped being friends with the person who I’d considered my best friend for the past two years. It was hard, and it’s really weird because it’s the first time I’ve ever lived without someone to call my “best friend”. It’s hard to adjust to. But I’m proud of myself, because clinging to someone who so clearly didn’t want me around was making me miserable. I freaked out a while after because I think to an extent I need to be taken care of, but I’ve been surprisingly okay on my own. I still miss my friend, a lot, but I’ve been able to manage without her. I always described us (sort of jokingly) as having a codependent relationship, so it was a little weird to find out it wasn’t a /co/ dependent relationship and just… a regular dependent relationship. One sided. But it’s fine. In some ways, it’s easier too. It’s easier to not feel the constant sting of rejection all the time. To not beat myself up for being a bad friend in a friendship that I wasn’t even really in anymore.

The breach in friendship between me and Laura B after October 7. How to address how it affected me? I felt so hurt by her lack of support. I felt relieved to be free of a friendship that had been faltering for some time. I felt stupid for suggesting and beginning tx with her— why am I investing all this money and time and energy into a friendship with a narcissist? I felt stupid for NOT wanting the friendship; I’m already lonely—I’m in no position to reduce my circle of friends. I feel conflicted and sad and naively hopeful that we can somehow repair this and have a healthier and stronger relationship.

Got a part-time seasonal job at the Apple store. It challenged my brain- so much to learn, especially the processes and procedures (the technology was the least of my worries, surprisingly enough.) I enjoyed most of it- meeting people, playing with customers' kids, feeling part of a really supportive, positivity-focused team.

We said goodbye to Macadamia, our sweet, sweet blind, senior Pekingese. I was completely shocked by how large my grief was, and even now, more than 6 months later, it takes very little for me to touch back in to that grief. I've never had a dog before, and she was a little perfect ball of love and light, and losing her was devastating. She was so comforting and calming to be around, such a center of joy and humor for me and my partner. My love for her was unconditional, she never disappointed. And she was never disappointed in us. It was sometimes hard to hold how large this grief was with the reality of human loss and suffering - I was very careful to only talk about the depth of my grief with others who had lost pets, or who hadn't experienced particularly painful human losses (child, partner, parent). Losing her broke my heart, completely. And I had no idea.

My dad died. My dad died. Dad died. Dad died. Dad died. It's been nearly a month. The grief is...strange. Different than when it was P. That was so much more unexpected and it was all-consuming for so long. This, while also sudden, and unfair, is also the proper order of things. It's like I'm functional and ok a lot of the time and cry sometimes. Little things make me miss him, like going to the Hort with S. and wishing he was there to help pick out the best lettuce to grow. I feel sad when I think about his wonderful mind not being in the world anymore, and knowing I won't get new experiences with him. In the days right after, I heard something on a podcast about a social experiment I remember him telling me about and I wanted to tell him. I think I expected to have more regrets when he died. I remember when Sasha's dad died and she told me she had no regrets. At the time, I worried I would. I have spent some of my adult life and much of my teen years wanting my relationship with my dad to be different. I wanted to have what I though I saw others have with their dads - someone more present for them in their day-to-day, more earthly. But in the last few years, I decided to accept he wasn't going to change and I found ways to connect to him the way he was - intellectually, listening to his lectures and stories, and physically. A few years ago, it was a revelation to lean on him and find that brought back so much of my childhood connection to him. Hugging him made me feel close again. I regret a little that I didn't record more of his stories or get him to ever write his autobiography, but I have his letters and hope there is some there. Also, my mom remembers more details than I do, so that helps to know.

I had emergency spinal surgey in May. A tumor was wrapped around my spinal cord. At first I was terrified and resentful that the cancer had won again. Months later, I realize that I am grateful my oncologist sent me to the ER, that the neurosurgeon was bored and looked at old scans to determine what was wrong. Janice says it was Mommy Elaine looking after me. I don’t necessarily believe that but who knows?

Staying in touch with my kids and sharing our viewpoints. Leading a discussion on democracy and doing it in a fashion that made it safe for all. I am grateful for my family and my community at Temple and elsewhere.

The tragedy in Israel on October 7, and the genocide of Palestinians in Gaza since, have really made me reckon with how we recognize humanity and who we recognize as having it. It has been so hard for me to go about everyday life when my government is funding a genocide of innocents, especially children, and ostensibly in defense of my people. It's really made me reckon with what it means to be Jewish, and to live by Jewish values. As a journalist, it's also made me think about what I'm complicit in, as someone who writes for papers that cover this in such a biased way, and that prevent their contributors from protesting our funding of a genocide.

Test results left my oncologist with only, "We just don't know" as a response to my question of an inevitable recurrence. I've chosen to move past it. It's my body, my life, and I have no use for being ill again. I have chosen to stay healthy. I'm grateful that I know this. I'm inspired to make it so.

After a year of my dear husband being unusually fatigued, he was diagnosed with throat cancer. He begins radiation and chemotherapy in a couple of weeks. It explained his lethargic attitude, which is TOTALLY unlike him. While there's a 90% cure rate, the treatment will be grueling for him. I feel: *scared because I see it affecting his moods *relieved to know why he's acted differently this year, the cure rate is extremely high *apprehensive, he's been my caregiver for 6 years. Now I'm going to be his caregiver. *optimistic because I'm hopeful that it will all be in the past by 10Q next year

We went on a four-month cruise from January through April (2024). This was a once-in-a-lifetime event. While this is not the place to go into the details of the trip itself, I will focus on how it has affected me. I will describe one way that I have changed due to the trip. The ship, Queen Mary 2, is a big, beautiful ship with many amenities that are all close to one's cabin. The proximity of dining and entertainment turns out to be a big draw for those with mobility problems. So there were many, I don't know the percentage, maybe 5%, who used the ship's convenience to substitute for more strenuous travel methods—enough to notice. In our Road Scholar group, about 10% had mobility problems. These visual reminders of the importance of fitness and the consequences of losing mobility was daily. While during the trip, I did not formulate a future plan, it must have ruminated in my subconscious since when I returned home, I decided to work on my fitness. This meant increasing my exercise to include more weight work and cardiovascular efforts. I also decided I needed to lose some weight, which had been creeping up since the last time I made a considerable effort to lose weight, which was in 2014. I have had some success with the project, I have lost 20+ pounds so far, increased my swimming distance, and been going to the gym more regularly. I have gratitude that I have found the motivation to keep to this regime and relieved that I have been able to stick to it.

This past year my relationship with Ben ended and it was really, really, really hard. In the lead up to it, and in the year since I have learned so much. My gains have been hard won, with days spent crying on the floor, days spent climbing mountains all by myself, and a lot of running. It included a lot of thinking and feeling and exploring and gentleness and hardness and ruggedness and absolute complete grit. It required me to go back and look at the little girl who did not get her needs met, and the adult woman who is just repeating that cycle because she never stopped to think about it. But I’ve come really far. And I’m so grateful for that. The way in which I know myself now is far greater than I ever realized possible. It’s still sometimes hard but more often than not now, I confidently walk through life calmly evaluating what I want and what I need and how I feel. And then I respectfully and firmly ask for it, expect it, and I do not accept anything other than feeling safe and having my needs met. Honestly, at this point a year out, I still miss Ben. I miss pieces of us that were great. And also, I know that my natural proclivity toward positivity is actually what’s more at play here than truly him, or us having ever been a fit for me. Sometimes I wonder how it would be if I knew then what I know now. If I could’ve said to him - when I get bad news, I need you to call me and show up and hug me, not just tell me I’m fine. I wonder if he would have risen to the occasion. I wonder if he would have shifted to meet my needs. But then I think about our first date and wonder if I would ever have even been attracted to him in the first place had he not endangered me the very first time we were together. I think these are things I will continue to ponder going forward, but they will matter less and less as time goes on… I hope. And I hope, as I am dating again, and really searching for a partner whose life I can contribute to, and who will contribute to mine, I can look back in a year and say that I’ve made so much progress and showing up as who I really am and in communicating and advocating for what I want and need.

Wow. This is insane to think about. The most significant experience of the past year was Oct 7th and the impact and aftermath and then the creation of Nova Heaven for Burning Man. I can't believe I was starting to celebrate my first Yom Kippur as a Jew in conversion this time last year, a whole different human being than I am now, naively writing my thoughts without the understanding of the darkness of humanity. I have been affected in all ways. I have been resentful and angry. I have been shocked and disappointed at the reaction of the liberals of this world. I have been disheartened in so many ways. On the other hand I have been enlightened and made stronger and more aware and truly more awake to the reality of the world. I have been inspired by the experience of producing Nova Heaven and the deep connections I am sure I have to the tradition and history and now the collective suffering and healing I share with Jews around the world and over time. I am more proud of myself and sure of my identity and faith than I have ever been because of this experience. I have more clarity on my priorities and how I will raise my daughter. After Nova Heaven, I have learned how to heal by being, creating, and spreading light.

The tendon in my left leg began to ache in May of 2024 & as I write in Oct. of 2024 it is no better! The doctors at Kaiser were no help so now I'm going to a place called Stretch Lab for physical therapy & while I always feel better when I leave a session, it begins to ache again w/in 24 hours. I have experienced the whole gamut of emotions but now am resigned to the fact that my body is old & things I've done to it over the years are coming back to haunt me! My left leg was broken when I was 8 & I'm grateful that the leg has served me well my whole life! A little pain is nothing when I think of what could have been!

I really dove into therapy this year, and it has been I think helpful to have some diagnoses to wrap my head around... I guess it feels like a relief to know that I am depressed, and that I have body dysmorphia, and that I can work through those issues instead of just feeling bad and bad about myself all of the time. I also helped bring back Community and Parents for Public Schools. If it was not the straw that broke the camels back, I'd be pretty proud of that work. I am also resentful that we started this thing and had a lot of success, but not very many people have raised their hands to get more involved.

I gave birth to the one and only Nomi Jules! An empowering, challenging, and beautiful VBAC. I’m still processing the experience but overall I am feeling so grateful. I worked so hard for this birth and all that effort paid off. I’m proud of myself. I advocated for myself, made sure we had good providers in the room, and made decisions with care every step of the way. It was a healing experience to have more control while still being open to the unpredictable nature of birth. I’m proud to have faced something scary with bravery and clarity about both what I wanted and flexibility about how to get there.

Well the most significant event of this year has been marrying Ernest. The whole experience of deciding to get married and planning the wedding has been so full. We faced a lot of emotional challenges, but also had so much fun. A highlight was learning a tapdance to perform at the wedding. I'm all the feelings: grateful, relieved, anxious about the future and curious about what is to come.

Coming to reality that I need to make a career change, and taking the steps to follow my passions, and the rewards that have come my way as a result. I am following my path surrounded by new and exciting / supportive people who are pushing me to be my best. I am so grateful and inspired in myself and where I have come over the last year.

Jan's death is naturally the largest and most life-changing event of the past year. It's still very, very fresh, less than two months. The breadth and depth of emotion and fundamental human experience I've had in going through it cannot be understated. Deciding whether or not to do the "midnight run" to CO when we got the call she was in the ER: I definitely heard God's voice telling me I had to go. Sitting on the plane, holding Jonathan's hand while he recorded what would be his last message to his mother: I was so grateful to God for urging me to be there, that was the absolute epicenter of my entire world, of everything in my heart, it was the most vital and important moment of the year, perhaps. Thank God I was there. There have been so many hard moments, in so many different shades of hard. It's almost like a primer in how infinite the varieties of struggle can be. I felt so proud of myself at some times, Jonathan was so grateful to me and so appreciative of me, and at other times I felt so ashamed, he was so hard on me when I was simply human (was I failing? yes probably. Maybe? He later said I was not, but also didn't seem particularly forgiving . . .). The current moment finds my stray thoughts often tossing around some theme involving death. Especially with the physical body. Imagining the crisis of body that led to her death has unlocked a new understanding of my bodily habitation, of just what a body is, and how it's the body that ends us. I see how very many people seem to pass in their 80s. Sure some make it to their 90s, but it's not a majority. The finite reality of life has become . . . more real. First day, first week, first month . . . now we tackle first year. It will be very interesting to see what this process is like. May we be gentle with each other, and find peace.

The genocide in Palestine. I have never seen anything as horrific as bombs from the sky landing on buildings and tents, tearing children's bodies to pieces. Murdering people who cannot flee and have nothing between them and a bomb but concrete and rebar or the polyester of a tent. I have seen so many beheaded babies held up by screaming parents, children holding their siblings in bags of shredded flesh, desiccated infants in the NICU after Israel forced all healthcare workers out of the hospital. A girl taking her last, gasping breaths under the rubble. Mass graves. Injured Palestinians being pushed off rooftops to their deaths. Children with amputated limbs. Peopled shot in the back while trying to retrieve flour so that their families might live. Trucks returning from Israel filled with rotting, unidentified cadavers. If that were not enough, there is a campaign to kill those who speak out. People I watch on social media being obliterated. They are there one day, tending their garden, and the next they are dead. One day they are interviewing Palestinians, the next they are dead. Seeing this horror every day on my phone has changed me. I knew that settler colonialism and occupation were horrific from history, but I was truly naive in how much cruelty is the point of it. Sadistic violence is used, I guess? to bring fear into the heart of occupied people. But it doesn't work. It never works. If you have only violence to dominate a population, you have already lost. Now the world sees Israel for what it is. I feel for Palestinians, but also for Israelis whose hearts have been so corrupted that they cannot see the humanity in the people they occupy, brutalize, bomb. There is a sickness there, a racism - more than racism - that has been nurtured over the decades. And the shamefulness of using the status as historical victim status to brutalize another population. And to silence, blacklist, fire, dox, threaten those that dare speak outside of Palestine. I cannot wait for the day when the walls come down. When Israel is defanged. When the bombs, guns, drones, stop flowing. When Palestinian children can be free to play on the beach, to run in olive groves, to return to their homes, which will be rebuilt. When Palestinians are equal to Israelis, have the same rights to govern, have the same rights to the land. That world is coming - it came for South Africa, it came to Ireland, it came the United States. But G-d, how can you permit so much horror? How can it be possible for humans to do this to other humans? That is what I cannot understand. Where are you, G-d? Where are you, justice? Is it in us? And when will it break free?

This year I got ENGAGED! On August 17th, Aaron planned the most amazing surprise proposal and engagement for me. At our favorite bakery, he schemed with the owner to plan a fake "event", of which I RSVPed to. I thought we were going to a secret speakeasy but in fact - I was RSVPing to my own party. After a private proposal over our favorite cocktails, my closest friends and our family walked in to celebrate this new chapter in our relationship. I am feeling happy, excited, relieved, and settled. For months I had been thinking he was going to propose, and honestly I was nervous. Was I ready to take that next step? Is the relationship I want to be in? But in the moment of him asking me and then watching how much effort he put into showing me how much he loves me, it was the easiest yes in the entire world. It continues to be an easy yes, and I engaged life is truly just so much fun! It was a the confirmation that I needed that he really did want to be with me forever, and it wasn't all talk.

Birth of Stella. Ever so grateful. Spending 3 weeks with Flapley!!

I finally stopped looking for an agent, and self-published my YA horror novel Many Arms Enfold Us on all major platforms, and as a paperback on Amazon. It feels amazing to hold a physical copy in my hand. Reviews have been good. My wife and I also made a trip to Riga, Latvia for a bookseller exchange program. The city was beautiful, from its medieval quarter to the dense and lavish Art Nouveau district. The people were kind and the weather was perfect. Amazing memories were made.

My last year was a time before I was going to get my diagnosis, so a life bc and now I’m in life dc and about to be in life ac. It has shown me how much strength I have and some of the support systems I am getting to know. My health has made me realize how my thoughts and eating habits and not taking care of my body is effecting my life and I’ve begun to change little by little. I was angry in life and I’m getting out all that resentment and bringing joy and love to myself by forming friendships and reconnecting with old friendships. I feel hopeful for my health and life forward.

I think one of the significant experiences that happened to me was running out of savings and going on unemployment. I’ve never had to go on assistance before and it’s definitely the longest I’ve went without having a job since the pandemic, but in doing so I realized how resilient I could be just getting by. I also realized that without the support of financial resources and a surplus of time, I could prioritize my interests and my passions, like learning how to digital paint and catching up on some of my favorite anime and games. I wish I could of done more this year, but I’m grateful for the internal growth that’s come from this challenging experience.

MIL passed away in May. I'm incredibly relieved because she was living an existence that she wouldn't have wanted to live. And visiting was a complicated thing. This has also freed us from our obligation to her, so now we can evaluate our lives moving forward. I'm still resentful of the fact that I gave up my entire life to move across the country for her, and there haven't been a whole lot of positives that have come out of it for me. Others around me, yes, but not me. I'm hoping by next year I can see the positives.

Full on embraced my autism! I finally understand so much more about myself and it has had ground shaking ramifications. My day to day existence is different, I am leaving my job to pursue my own business, I am more myself. It is exhilarating and very challenging. I feel so raw. On top of that it let me see that I am and have been in burnout and I am hurting myself. I believe this coming into my own will make me a healthier happy human eventually.

A little over two months ago I washed my mother in law’s body and she died moments later. I felt all of the things. Grateful. Profoundly grateful. I said the Shma to her as she left this world. I walked out of her room to wash my hands and when I came back in a few moments later she had just breathed her last breath. I put my ear to her chest and heard her final heartbeat. I closed her eyes. I said the Shma again. Then said Baruch Dayan Ha Emet. I left her room and told the two sons that were present that she had passed to the next world. My brother in law came to sit with her and we cried over. Tears of sorrow and tears of relief. I kept my head and called the funeral home. Because my mother in law died without being on hospice and didn’t have a DNR they advised me to call 911 to get a death investigation and a certificate from the coroner. By then Shabbat would be drawing to a close and the men from the funeral home could come and get her. I called 911. The fire department arrived first. Warm, unobtrusive and clearly used to dealing with this type of situation. They let me know what was happening and the steps they were obligated to take until the ambulance arrived. The ambulance crew were equally respectful. A few more questions and they attended to my mother in law and, finally, were able to call her time of death and let her rest. Police came and gently found out what happened. What preceded her death. They eventually gave me the phone and I spoke to the coroner. Incredibly respectful doing her job while tending to me and what I was experiencing. When my other brother in law arrived his grief came out as anger which he wielded like a weapon and I was his target. I kept my head. I sent my (step) daughter and her partner (who had flown in to town when we told them Bubbe was dying) out - away from the drama. He railed at me, his two brothers and the police who, acting on behalf of the coroner, were trying to conduct a thorough death investigation in the most respectful way possible. We made it through all of that. I was sad and calm. I took charge because I had to. I took charge because when each of my parents left this world my older siblings taught me how. Before that my father helped many families at times like this. I knew what to do though did not realize until I was doing it. Eventually we left her home and my spouse and I went back to our home for the night. Then, late that night, as I was trying to fall asleep after comforting my grieving spouse, I was jolted awake by the look of horror? Pain? Angst? Fear? that crossed over my mother in law’s face as we washed her - me and the PSW who had arrived a few minutes before. Her eyes, which had been half closed and unfocused for a couple of days, were wide open and she looked directly at me. She needed to be cleaned. I wanted to give her that. The comfort of laying on clean, dry sheets. In a clean dry nightie. On a clean dry pillow. Was she shocked at me seeing her so vulnerable? Naked and lying in her own filth? Was it unbearably painful to be washed when she was so close to death? Was she scared at taking that step into the next world? Did my soothing words help her transition? Did I bring her comfort or inflict pain at that moment? I don’t know. I hope and try to believe that my presence was a comfort. My voice reassured her. My recitations gave her the strength she needed to let go. I hope, over time, this image will soften in my mind’s eye. In my memory. I hope I was enough for her. She had no daughters. One grand daughter who lived 5000 miles away. Two previous fleeting daughters in law. I hope she was proud of me and felt my presence as a comfort. She was not easy to love yet I loved her. Fiercely. Perhaps I wasn’t either. G’d knows my relationship with my own mother was not easy. Thank you for taking this in. I don’t yet know what this means. But now I’ve written it here and have told my therapist. I hope in the year to come I find some peace in this experience. In this memory. And hope that my mother in law’s memory always be a blessing to me.

I almost died this year. I could stop bleeding, and April-June, things got so bad that my hemoglobin went down to 4.6. I ended up in the ER for 3 units of blood and one unit of iron. It shook me up. There are so many things I haven't done, and I'm kind of done not doing things I need and want to do. I don't care about hustling anymore. I want to see this f*cking world. I want to be as happy and cozy as possible at home. I am going to live so fucking big.

I converted to Judaism! This was life changing for me and allowed me to heal from childhood trauma caused by Christianity

I became (adult) bat mitzvah. It meant more to me than I thought it would. I feel an enhanced sense of belonging.

I was able to travel with my family to Vietnam. I feel incredibly privileged to spend time with my family and to discover the world through my children's eyes.

The most impactful event this year was the death of my mother. We were not always close but the affect has been surprising. Most days there is something I think to ask her now that it is too late. I miss being annoyed by her and making her laugh.

One child graduated from college and one graduated from high school making us empty nesters or the new term, "free birders." The past year was emotional whether I was aware of it or not. So much of my brain was filled with details of what my kids needed to end their school years successfully. I am so grateful and relieved. I'm excited for them and so proud of all they have accomplished.

I defended my dissertation and graduated from graduated school. It was a pretty horrible last winter spent writing, but it ended. And it went so well in the end. I feel proud to have finished.

Truly being human, holding grief and challenge in one hand, while holding joy, inspiration, and excitement in the other. The challenges of Oct. 7th, the fallout for the Jewish people, the recognition that the way(s) Zionism has become an instigator of antisemitism have been gutting experiences. The opportunity to realize dreams come true with our Tahoe Jewish Community, the joy of my family and the blessing of Jewish life here in Tahoe are all things to be so grateful for.

Me di cuenta de que han abusado mucho de mi desde hace muchos años y no lo voy a volver q permitir de nadie Me siento un poco resentido y con coraje y con ganas de salir adelante y estar muy bien

The 7th of October. It has changed my world. Also, my wife booking a flight one way with my child to leave the country. I don't know how to deal with my only child be ripped away from me.

Something significant this year is I got into volunteering in a more regular cadence and it is has been feeling really good to give back and be dedicated to something. I am inspired by the elders I get to meet and their excitement.

TJ passed away then Tessa was born. My heart broke into a million pieces then my heart pieces started to find their way back to each other again. I am grateful I got to be his sister. I long for more time together but know one day we’ll be together again. I’m grateful he’s with Mina and all of the pups. And now Dennis, too. He left his legacy of kindness behind. I’m hoping to be more like him, more kind and meeting people right where they are, every day. I am grateful Tessa came when she did. She’s a light to us. Pure joy. Hope for our broken hearts. Tessa Jane. A twinkle in her eyes just like her uncle’s. I am grateful to be her mama. I try to cherish each moment because I know how quickly they pass. I’m inspired to be more present with her. Set apart time for work when she’s sleeping or I have help so our time together can be intentional and soaked up with all the love.

The experience for me is a global one where my professional life is changing with my conference coming up is less than 3 weeks. My collaboration with Just Mind and Griffin school were very dynamic to follow my vision from mediation. My work with Synctuition continues for deepening my meditation practice and I have a meet and greet with the company next week about collaboration. I am moving toward setting my knowledge into courses online with Jenny is Canada. And my personal therapy worked has focused on my unmasking at a new level, doing effective couples work with Edie and also boundary work with Jules Shore that has a life transforming feeling of being integrated into my self where my internal at ease rock has always been there waiting for me to come back as it protected by core safety. And yes it was the T2 year of transformation and transcendence from my enod of year visioning. And finally my work out with Cris continues to reap serious self care and health benefits where I feel stronger than I ever have. And finally finally I entered the prophecy of being 63 and coming into my own as Joe Nichols predicted at age 26...so yes a fucking transformative year I'd say James...your quite a badass in the best of ways. Love you to the moon and back.

I paused drinking for the majority of the year. It was surprisingly so easy and it felt amazing. A result was another significant experience which is adding swimming back into my life in the mornings. A new way to ease tension and it leaves me so spiritually satisfied.

There's been so much change I don't know what to pick. My granddaughter whom I now have custody attempted suicide and spent 4 days in ICU then straight to a behavioral hospital. It scared me so badly. I care for my mother also and she lives with me, it was so hard on her to watch it happen. It's how my brother passed away. I still care for his children and it upset their mental health as well. I'm still navigating and last week she ended up in another facility.

This past year I got elected to BBYO board for the first time, I also lost an election for the first time, but that's less important. This experience has taught me how to work with a team and is soooo fun!!

I had a terrible break up with a woman . It was quick and with a switch on her part to a new girlfriend the next week. I had not seen it coming, In retrospect, we were entering a phase in which I was asking for respectful communication and consideration of me versus running around to the next event. I had given a lot of myself and had not received much in return. She was starting to demonstrate a limited field of self awareness and social skills. When the break up happened, it was so very sudden and uncaring that I hurt deeply. Three months later, when my mom broke her hip and I was working to get her health care support despite her anger and resentment at feeling helpless just threw me for a loop. It was simply a lot to take on in a very short time and I was devastated in so many ways - the positive take was that I leaned into therapy. I spent a lot of time focused on me and took time away to self-heal. I’m still in that healing time but I’m doing it with care and introspection as much as I can . - that is what I’m grateful for ❤️

I had a health scare. As a result, I spent 10 days with my daughter. I quit drinking, smoking and saw a new doctor that took me off all unnecessary medications and supplements. She also insisted that I get a CPAP. I also started seeing a psychiatrist at my daughter’s insistence. Although life is a cha-cha, for the most part I feel like I’m living my best life. Oh, and I learned to set boundaries and that self-care isn’t selfish…. So feel WAY less resentful.

I refound a space and time for me to start working out again. While it's nothing like the acres of time I had when I was in grad school or even in Copenhagen, it's a few weekly gaps of 20 minutes in the morning and lunch hours at work. I'm building muscle again and feeling like myself. It's helping me feel more regulated and balanced.

The solar eclipse. I drove up to my brother in-law Pete & Michele's place on Lake Champlain. It was a completely new natural experience, but the collective nature of it was unexpected and wonderful. Being in a teeming mass of humanity to experience it made me feel like the human race is going to be ok.

I graduated from school!! I guess that counts as multiple experiences tied into many. I'm very grateful, very relieved. The last year was fun really only because I went up to San Francisco so much, but I'm beginning to miss the little things that I took for granted- the gym, the stocked pantry, being able to see my friends whenever I wanted. I just wanted to leave so bad by the end of it and I was tired of the bubble/not feeling like a real adult. Now I'm sort of in a weird jobless but finally free phase and figuring things out, but overall I am so grateful that the things I was worried about are not things I'm worried about anymore. Going back to Synergy room meeting a few weekends ago reminded me of that- I hated that process and feeling so belittled by it. Also being done with my thesis. It was such a wonderful and big experience especially at the end, but that level of stress I think changed my brain chemistry in ways that I'm still recovering from. I think it literally made me addicted to cortisol- even when I have nothing to worry about, I find things to worry about. But I'm trying really hard to build habits to fill that void and work on it. Phone time is a big thing for me, but I'm trying hard to cut it down. I journal now, I read, I go to bed early, I exercise (when my hip sn;t flared up). But I thought I would be more afraid of what's next and scared- I think in the past, the unknown has been a major source of anxiety for me, but I rarely feel anxious about it. I'm grateful for a new chapter and am excited to have more autonomy over what it will look like.

HOLY COW THIS YEAR HAS BEEN AMAZING! Top 3 of my life. Best year was 2014/2015 when I met Anna, did Ride Across Britain and the London Marathon On par with this year was 2012 when I finished my MBA first, and did my first Half Ironman. And this year! Holy Moses it was good. We started the year in Lanzarote, with Alwyn, Olly, me, Kyla and Laura. We came back to London fit and ready to take on the year. Chryssa bought a beautiful cottage on Kefalonia, so Olly, Kyla (and Brandon), then Alwyn, took our bikes down and cycled the length and breadth of the island. Friends, beaches and bikes in paradise for 3 weeks. We had a cracking TdY in the Peaks District. Fit from Lanza and Greece, we all rode strong for 4 days with John Baily. While we all love Yorkshire, seeing a new place with friends was wonderful. I came back feeling on tope of the world. (A small knee injury that took me out for a few weeks because of all of the above). I did some really fun trips to America through work. I took myself off to see Monterey (it was on a TV show). I didn't like it so much - it was very touristy and the locals were loud - but I got to do some interesting runs, and found a cool whiskey bar. I visited Cheryl and Paul in their new holiday home in Patagonia, and we did some of the best gravel cycling I've ever seen. It was breathtaking. I caught up with Sonny in New Orleans (got gastro - less fun). One night we hit Bourbon Street and we DID Bourbon Street. We saw an Australian Drag Queen, sung our lungs out in a Dueling Piano Bar (paid for Walking in Memphis). Got too drunk for 40 yo's but we still managed to get up and do a walking food tour the next day. Then 3 weeks in Oz thanks to a BOGOF flight with BA. We started in Sydney (Gosh it was cold!) and ran around the Harbor and the House. Saw Geniere after so many years. Over to Perth and caught Covid en route. It was also cold but it was nice to see the old place (although it was strangely quiet). We went to Brisbane for just a couple of nights. It was all I thought I could do, but turns out Brisbane and I have a (fragile) truce. On a River Run with Mum and Alwyn, I saw "The Hotel" and I felt a mild indifference - recognition but indifference. There was a little part of me that wished that somehow Amanda of that night could have looked out at that day 7 years ahead and seen herself running with her fit Mum, and her hot husband, and given her some comfort that the best was indeed ahead. I saw and hugged Kerry. I watched Molly from a respectable distance. Maybe for the last time on both accounts. A week on the Sunshine Coast at Sunseeker, where we ran and ran, and Alwyn saw every snake in residence. There was this one moment on our last day. I'd just run a hard 7km through the National Park. The sky was that perfect QLD blue. Off went the shoes and in I went, bra and all. The water was sensational. The perfect beach. I was thinking " this moment is absolutely perfect - except Alwyn isn't here to experience it with me", and as I finished that sentence I saw him lolloping down the beach waving. Moment Complete. We all can see ourselves retiring to Sunshine Beach, and not Perth. That was an unexpected twist. I came back to the UK and immediately started my Masters. The little girl from Inala go into the Big School at Cambridge (like I'd hoped last year in my 10Q). It was hard hard hard. 12 hour days of lecturing, and by the end my eyes hurt, my head hurt, my back hurt, and my arse hurt. Alwyn picked me up and was driving SUPER slowly out of the college, and I threatened him with harm if he didn't put the pedal down and got me out of there, stat. I loved it - I'm dreading the next one. We started looking for a house, only to find the most perfect one imaginable. [Honestly, this year has been insane]. East Sheen is EXPENSIVE. Holy God it's expensive. We started with a budget of £700-800k, but with the provision that if we found The Dream House for £1M (no renovations, move in an Live Happy) we'd do it. We hired Nick, the Buyers Agent (a walking lesson in what too much alcohol does for your complexion), to find us what we need (and take away the hard work). Damn it but did he find us the perfect place. East Sheen is a "white-middle-class-nuclear-family-with-fluffy-hypoallergenic-dog" sort of place, which Alwyn and I are not. We don't really belong (the cycling gives us a visitors pass). And The Perfect House (technically a maisonnette) doesn't belong in East Sheen either. She's a three story, 1,600sft beauty with 3 rooms and 4 bathrooms. She's everything we pretty much said we didn't want. A maisonnette, on a main road. But she's 50% bigger than all the terrace houses we've looked at for pretty much the same price, and we will lose money on it. But the offer was accepted and here's hoping that I read this Q10 from her formal lounge room on level 2, while Alwyn braais in the outdoor kitchen next year. I lost 15kg. The body dysmorphia is much (much) quieter and I no longer feel repulsed by my own skin. I don't love my body like I did in 2012, but I don't hate it to distraction. The mental anguish is mostly gone (not entirely, but 90%). We are back to Lanzarote with friends and Mum for Xmas. Two days ago Alwyn's nephew, Blue (Niel) lost his fight with Leukemia. I don't say this as a post script. It's just as a reminder that the world can be unkind even when it's being amazing. Blue had a huge smile and gave amazing hugs. He had a ridiculous amount of freckles. He wanted to be a farmer and never wanted to leave South Africa. For the most part this year has been INSANE. I do wish Blue was in next year too.

Getting my son's EHCP. I'm relieved, grateful and proud. One hell of a lot of effort but hopefully it continues to feel like the beginning of a new better phase.

The attack on Oct 7 changed my life forever. Though I have been striving for decades to reclaim my Jewish heritage after most of my ancestors perished in the Holocaust, on this day I became much more Jewish. Every day I have been full of anguish for how the world turned on us instantly after the attack. As we were told, every generation must go through this again. But part of my reclamation has meant discovering community and identity in a way I was deeply missing. Now I have a “minyan” of smart, accomplished, compassionate Jewish sisters. And I am reclaiming traditions and Jewish values in my life. Though I have almost no allies outside this community, I am proud to stand apart from the crowd who appear to be drinking the same koolaid. I wear my Judaica, I know better the indigenous origin and rights of my beautiful people.

I separated from my spouse. I feel grief, but also so much relief. I feel happy for the first time since I was 17. I feel stupid and I feel like a failure. I feel more sane than ever.

My family completed our baseball park chase. We have seen all 30 teams at their ballpark! I am grateful to have been able to do it as a family and make wonderful memories along the way!

I been driving the same car for 19 years. It's a good reliable car. The fear of walking into a dealership and the thought of evening pressured into a sale or being talked down to because I'm a woman was so strong. But I asked a friend to come with me and I did it on my own. It wasn't bad at all. And I love my new car. I feel freer now to go anywhere and not worry about my car.

my mother died on Valentine's Day. I am knee-deep in the grieving process. I am sorrowful, I am adrift; I am trying hard to accept my new normal that Iwish it didn't exist. On the other hand I am so grateful that she died before she lost her faculties her quality of life further eroded. So I am grateful that she is now with G-d

A friend who I was no longer in touch with (our friendship was not viable in recent years) died and left me $10,000 in her will. While I’m grateful to receive the bequest, I was also surprised and saddened that our friendship had ended (due to her repeated thoughtlessness that had taken a toll on me over the years).

I stopped working part-time for an attorney and picked up a full-time job again. I am back in the position of paying bills without dipping into savings while continuing with school. I am in the middle of the 3rd Term, which is 4 semesters for me since I'm going a little slower than full-time. I am happy to feel more financially comfortable while I pursue this change and I'm proud to see myself sticking with school. It should only be a couple more semesters after this one to complete the program.

really the most significant event is Becca's cancer, which is still unresolved, and hanging over everything. I am so hoping that by next year it will have settled into the background and become an unpleasant memory. I know that we, as a family, have been unusually blessed, and I had hoped that we would continue forever unscathed, and free....there is still hope, of oourse, that that will be true, but we have been threatened.... But I am still blessed--I just dont want to be the only one! I wish it for everyone.

My husband and I took part in Taharah for my father, the tender ritual of preparing his body for burial. We came to bear witness, to be with my father’s body this last time, and we were very respectfully asked if we wanted to take part, which we did after a moment's hesitation. Helping to do this holy work with members of the Chevra Kadisha was an extraordinary privilege, and one of the most profound experiences I have ever had. It was deeply spiritual and moving and everyone present was extraordinary in their tenderness and respect for my father’s body. The ritual was exquisite, gentle, and moving. It was a tremendous honor to work with the Chevra in this final care of my father’s physical body. My holding his head as we gently turned him, slowly pouring water over him while ritual prayers were sung, covering his body in a sheet and pouring more water over him and watching his body ‘reemerge’ from under the sheet, was beautiful, an ethereal dance that touched me very deeply. Dressing his body for burial in a tachrich, and then each member thanking him in turn for letting them/us care for him was profoundly moving. Taking part in this ritual and work was the culmination of the privilege and intimacy of caring for him in the months and days before his death. We were so deeply moved and appreciative to be included in this ritual with such caring wonderful people who I think were angels.  

We have listed our house and property for sale. The excitement of finding a new place to live is very exciting. It has completely changed my outlook about Hollis’s retirement and added so much enthusiasm to how we will spend our next few years.

My father died February 22, 2024. It was not unexpected. We had, finally, convinced my mother to get help caring for him by placing him in a residential memory care facility that specialized in ALZ. He had been there less than a month. After falling twice and needing to goto the ER for care, he was placed on a psychiatric hold and spent more than 10 days in a psychiatric care ward at the hospital where he was given medication to help alleviate his rebellious and aggressive behavior. It seemed stressful for him to be there -- he did not do well in hospitals after his ALZ diagnosis, and he had not wanted to be put into a residential care facility. He wanted to live his last days at home. But we couldn't let him, as his sundowner's and aggressive behavior had put Mom at risk, it was unsafe for her to care for him at home. In the psych ward his heart began to falter, and he was transferred to the cardiac ward/floor, and that night his heart gave out and he died. Mom and Kelly got to the hospital shortly after he died. It was not how we wanted him to live his last weeks and it was not how or where we wanted him to die; it was not how he wanted to live or die, and that is the hardest part of accepting his death. In the end, he never adjusted or accepted living at the residential facility, and the stress of that seemed to have caused him the aggressive behavior that landed him in the psych ward and hospital, which I believe led to his inevitable death. Was it the right thing to do? All allies, and trusted support team members encouraged it (for a long time). I miss my old Dad, before he lost so much of his functioning due to ALZ. He was a great story teller, I loved working on projects with him, he was a great help to me during my darkest time in my life. And, it was time to go, technology and medication had extended his life beyond what he had wanted.

I’ve have been working very hard to find more training contracts and positions. And several months ago I was excepted as an independent contractor with PowerSkills a wonderful supervisory skills training course (as well as other courses) that I’m teaching to federal government employees. The owner Rob Schout is wonderful to work with, and I feel honored that I have this opportunity. The compensation helps me to stabilize my finances as well as work that I love

I started attending morning prayer on Zoom with a community of monks almost every day. I am so so grateful. I carry them with me everywhere throughout the day. I feel very supported and loved.

My mother broke her femur in April. I was grateful for how my siblings worked together to get my mom into care and eventually home to begin her recovery. Each of us stepped up at the exact right time and in our own way.

I got a girlfriend for the very first time. This was something I have wanted my entire life. I was relieved, but also super excited that I achieved something that I wanted. Having a woman by my side made me so happy. Unfortunately, she broke up with me, but I am better off from this experience. I hope I can be in another relationship soon.

I got divorced last November - just the papers. We’d separated a good before that. Surprisingly, the paper work made it much more real and brought up all kinds of feelings. It affected in me in positive and negative ways. I felt like a failure for a long time - I broke the biggest commitment I’ve ever made. I promised someone I would love them forever and they promised me the same. We just couldn’t. At one point, I’d decided I never wanted to get married again. I felt that nothing could be lifelong and that I didn’t have the capacity to love someone through anything; more poignantly, that I wasn’t worthy of that type of love. I felt resentful that I’d wasted so much of my youth on a one-sided relationship. I felt that marriage was something that worked out for other folks and I wasn’t among them. At the same time, I was about two months into a relationship with a person who wanted a long term relationship that could turn into a marriage and kids. They knew I was looking at maybe long term relationships but had no intention of marrying anyone ever. They told me they loved me for the first time the day after my divorce was finalized. I said it back. I was in therapy and working on sitting in my emotions instead of intellectualizing them. I was losing weight by eating well and going to the gym regularly. I was enjoying living by myself. I was enjoying spending time with my friends. I was enjoying dating a person exclusively for the first time in a while. All of this culminated in me finding happiness within myself. I learned that I am an enjoyable person to be around. I can enjoy time on my own at restaurants, bars, movies, etc. For a good part of the last year, I set my phone to DND when I got home. It was just me and the dog here in my little sanctuary. The most important thing I learned was taught to me by the person I was dating. They taught me everyday little by little. They met all of my needs and communicated all of theirs. I became a person who believed in love again and that I, yes me, am worthy of love. A year later, I know this is the person I do want to spend the rest of my life with - and I know I can. I’m not proud of it by any means, but I’d so grateful that I got divorced. It gave me the space to learn to love myself and to find a partner who loves me with the same intensity that I love them.

The rise of antisemitism in the US and around the world after October 7th. Nothing actually happened to me personally. But watching and reading about things happening in different places filled me with dread. It took me years, decades even, to become comfortable about being Jewish after growing up in the former USSR and experiencing a lot of antisemitism and here we are again. In fact, it feels worse, scarier.

Two major events, both starting off stressful and ending up so positive. First was when our landlord's agent came to visit us at the beginning of July to give us notice that the landlord/owner was selling the house, so we'd have to find somewhere else (though she said we really didn't need to hurry as house sales take time, but we had the experience of our previous house selling in 24 hours so we weren't going to "let the grass grow"). We looked for houses in July but there was nothing suitable for the four of us within our price range. Then on 31st July, an ex-colleague of my husband, who happens to own properties near the beach, contacted Colin to say that a 3-bedroomed, pet friendly house had just become available, and he was giving us first option before he advertised. We went to see the house, and everything about it was ideal. We were sold on the spot. We knew this wasn't a house - this was a home. Result? I'm now living in a beautiful Victorian house (the owner is now our next-door neighbour) within walking distance of the beach. Second thing was that the job I have been doing for the past two years and all the systems I put in place was all of a sudden up in the air when AI started doing the bulk of it, and I really felt that, as a contractor, I was very vulnerable and expendable if there was ever a major financial pinch within the company. But the general manager, and then the CEO, contacted me and have offered me a promotion to Bookkeeper - which is a beautiful learning curve for me - and I've been taken on to permanent staff! More than I could have dreamed. But God .....

This past year has been full of significant changes for me. I broke up with my long-term girlfriend, and learning to live alone again has been a major adjustment. I hadn’t lived alone since my junior year of undergrad, so it felt both strange and liberating to find my own rhythm again. At the same time, I started a long-distance relationship, which brought its own set of challenges and emotions, but it's been really good so far. I changed my therapist this year too, which gave me a fresh perspective on things I’ve been working through. It wasn’t an easy transition, but ultimately it’s been helpful in navigating everything I’ve been dealing with. And then right before the close of this year, I adopted Luna. I can't wait to see her true personality unfold as she learns to trust and opens up, but so far she's been absolutely wonderful. Looking back, I feel a mix of emotions. There’s definitely gratitude for the growth these changes have sparked in me, and relief that I’ve been able to navigate some really difficult moments. But more than anything, I feel inspired. 5784 was a year of change, and I’m hopeful that 5785 will be a year of renewal and continued growth.

Gosh, so many. Hmm... a biggie, perhaps? Fighting the 'system', leading to finding covered testing for ADHD. Being diagnosed, so clearly, with ADHD they skipped the 'last' test.( Then being connected to an MD for med management.) Learning that so many of my 'faults' and 'failings' were connected to neuro-divergence. At different points I've been each of those: grateful, relieved, resentful and inspired. It's affected me in often (not yet always) being able to reevaluate a response and trying to strategize, or come up with a system to be successful. Inspired to take a second look when noting it 'happening'; to redirect and rationalize about the anxiety it caused and nip it.

I got into management. I finally made it to salary. I still dunno if I deserve it or chances just aligned but I am proud of myself because I know I couldn’t have done this while drinking. I’m very grateful to finally be okay in terms of money. I’m just so happy that I don’t feel like a liar. I do feel competent a lot of the time. I know I’m still learning but I have evidence of the things I have learned so I think maybe if someone didn’t think I deserve this they will when they see me continue to grow.

I’d say October 7th.. it really changed the shape of the year. I arrived in New York and everyone was out in the streets. I was seeing the same people over and over, plugging right into a sense of being with this awful unfolding genocide together, bearing witness.. and so much grief, and numbness, and continual checking in to the self and collective body to see how we were relating to this mess. The strange silver lining has been feeling a part of anti-Zionist community that is rising to meet this moment. These are the people who will figure out collective care as shit continues to go down, as the world as we know it continues to crumble. I got arrested for the first time. I did lots of jail support for others. I even fell in love with someone I met as a Palestine protest.

I started fostering two children this past year. I feel almost literally every feeling about it, but mostly I just feel lucky and blessed.

I helped my brother get to a colonoscopy appointment, expecting a three hour start to finish. I emerged the following day, 27 hours start to finish, after clinicians rushed him from the procedure to an emergency room suite for stabilization and diagnostics to get a better picture of a mass that we realized had been at the root of his symptoms for more than six months or more. As we waited for results behind a curtain, a physician paced outside explaining to a person on the phone that he had not been able to save the life of their... and here I think I misheard: brother. That physician's gentleness, clarity, empathy, and patience was riveting to both of us, a sheet of fabric away. Later that same attending physician worked with us on the facts of my brother's matter. He read my brother's face so well, pausing to acknowledge how heavy everything was becoming. Grateful to have entered this orbit, with all its unknowns. Relieved to have met that physician, and all the other clinicians in my brother's circle of care. Inspired to keep witnessing it all.

I checked myself into rehab for co-occuring addictions because my behavior was driving me mad. It kick started sobriety. It was life changing. I don't feel grateful in this moment. But, during and immediately afterward I did. Today I am regretful that one of my addictions still plagues me heavily.

October 7. It shook me to my core. It affected both my personal and professional life. I wish I could turn back the clock to October 6.

This past year has been hard. My father died, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I am going very low contact with my mother. I'm having trouble describing how I feel. I should feel scared and devastated. Instead I feel so grateful for the resilience I've learned in previous hard years. I feel like I've learned how to stay present, identify stressors, put energy into the things that feed my soul, and enjoy the life that I have.

My foot surgery on July 25th 2024. I had been walking with a stick since January 2024 and my foot was not improving at all. We went to France with the dogs for the month of June. I missed out on so much as I couldn't walk around for very long at all. So I met Prof Flavin on July 1st and asked for the next surgery date available. The convalescence is very slow and I am still not able to go for a walk . I went a third way down the pier yesterday and the day before .. it took me an hour but it was heaven to be out with the pups . I think I am happy I got it done but I don't really know yet. It has made me so grateful for everything I can do for myself. Mark was amazing but I hate being dependent . Now when I make myself tea, I think how blessed I am that I can do that for myself ...

I retired this year. It was definitely a transition but I think I'm setting into it.

PASSING MY DRIVING TEST!!! It’s giving me freeedom and joy and access to the open road! But also confidence like I actually feel like an adult now which is mad cos I’m 32 lol. I suppose going freelance too - I never feel like I’m fully there but I think I might just be okay

I sold my practice. I must now decide if I want to retire from optometry. It has been difficult. I was very excited as I thought I would be joining a young couple and we would practice together learning from one another. That did not happen. At first I was upset, disappointed even depressed. Now I have settled in to the new reality but must decide what is next. I must say I mostly feel adrift. I will be seeking ways to make my life meaningful.

One day out of the blue at work we were told that we could back to working remote (at home). I felt both relieved and grateful. No more having to endure my co-workers. No more stressful drives in Houston traffic to and from work. I really enjoy spending time in my lovely home with my kitty cats. My work environment is much improved.

So much has happened in the past year. I immigrated, when through the whole process, moved to a small town in California known for their kind and chill folks. What I experienced in that town felt like a big betrayal. The kind, chill, tanned, folk of California are kind and chill and tanned only to other folk with sun bleached hair. If you have the slightest accent, if you are from a different country, all of a sudden you are less human. I’m resentful. It’s hard to forgive myself for having made the choice to move here.

10/7 changed everything. I had no idea how intensely antisemitism has been lurking under the surface. I feel 20x farther from so many of the people I considered my very closest friends, people I've known and cultivated trusting connections with over decades. It's made it harder to care about putting my art out there when it seems like people who like my stuff wouldn't if they knew I was Jewish. I have barely been able to dance. I kept thinking about those raped, mutilated women. I have reconnected with my culture and am deep diving a bit into growing my faith, community, and studying our traditions.

The best thing to ever happen to me in years took place in the West End last May following a nationwide tour. The Promise, which I co-wrote with Paula Garfield at Deafinitely Theatre, was about an assertive Deaf woman who was experiencing dementia and how it affected her family over four decades. I am over the moon to have made my debut as a playwright, but already, it feels like an eternity ago!

I'm seriously not sure how I could ever pick a single significant experience that has happened to me. Initially my mind went to breaking up with Harper, which weirdly enough makes me feel embarrassed to say. I would've thought that wouldn't have even been in the conversation anymore. I then thought of nordic and how that really affected my senior year. Anyways, another huge experience, believe it or not, is going to college. It's been about four and a half weeks and to be completely honest, it's been really difficult: I don't feel like my classes are fulffiling at all, I don't have a real network of people yet, frisbees kinda mid, and I miss my friends from home a lot. However, I think generally speaking preparing mentally and physically to leave home was one of if not the most significant experiences in my life thus far. That really has been a multi year preperation, but I think it really started for real in the spring of senior year. Nothing mattered, everything was fun, bronem had a girlfriend (who low key was manipulative but didn't see it at the time) crush was lit. But also around then I began to really feel the pressure of leaving mount and I was touring colleges weekly. With all this pressure came serious passion. I love my friends from home and I miss them so much. Continuing on my experience of preparing to leave was my time with MN souperior. That was such a surreal group of people and I miss them just as much as SLP people. I'm currently sitting in the guest bed at Lisa Latz's house on erev Rosh Hashanah listening to my "Now what, CO" playlist, feeling very nostalgic. Anyways back to what I was saying (dude I can't concentrate for shit) is I grew such a genuine and loving network of humans in Minnesota that when it came time to leave, which I'd been waiting for for my entire life, it just became so hard. Now sitting in Lisas guest room about to go to bed I wonder to myself, "was this the right choice." It kills me to think I left such a great collection of people, but I think one day I will be greatful for this feeling funny enough. I'm not sure how it'll all turn out in the end; maybe i make the best friends in the world here in denver, maybe I wanna leave, who knows. But either way, this experience of growing to love my surroundings was incredibly profound and something I hope to never forget. Noam, if you read this in a year which I really hope you do, I love you. Don't be afraid to ask for a hug. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

We took a family vacation to the east coast for two weeks this summer. Most of the time was spent with my husband’s family. Prior to this trip, I adored his family and loved spending time with them. On this trip, I had to work and things with my consulting job blew up and were possibly coming to an end. Mega stress. We also spent 2 days with my parents and my husband’s family all together and while it went well, it was stressful. For the first time since we’ve been together, I did not enjoy the time spent with my husband’s family. I saw flaws I hadn’t before. I felt like they didn’t pause their lives for our visit. I felt like the odd one out. I did not appreciate the unsolicited advice. It has made me distant from his family. Not that we talked all of the time before, but I feel like they are avoiding talking to me and I’m not putting in an effort either. I’m disappointed about that distance. I hope we get an opportunity to repair it. We shall see!

I published my first book! The Heart Witch of Speckled Hound Hollow bounded into the world on August 13, 2024! I couldn’t be more happy with how it all came together (audiobook pending, but G continues to work on it). I had my launch at the October Cafe and my first bookstore reading at Elliott Bay Book Company! I feel really happy with how it all came together and am already looking forward to bringing Black Kate into the world (October 13, 2026!).

Spending time with my family. The event itself was lovely but not significant. What was significant was after this one weekend with my family where I missed hanging out with friends, my friend group has been distant and ignoring me slightly. It really hurts even though it’s only little things.

What's more significant than Oct 7th? I'm miserable, furious, embarrassed, despairing, my rage builds and subsides and then builds all over again. From the first moment I heard about Hamas's attack, I said "what a gift to Bibi," and in fact, it has been. But I didn't think it would be this inhuman, this level of dehumanization, this level of sheer destruction and lies to pretend as if it's not happening, to act as if the Israeli far right hasn't siezed this opportunity to try and take it all back. It's everything wrong with Israel and everything wrong with the US and everything wrong with people. The Arab countries are no better, but this war is indefensible. Three October 7ths wouldn't justify this, bc what this is is straight up next wave settler colonialism, unapologetically so, even as they pretend that's not what they're doing. I could go on and on and on and on about it, and I do. Endlessly. Saying the same things. Being stopped and frustrated and helpless in the same way. It's exhausting and impossible and feels awful every day to know that it is the US that is making it all possible. As if there is a world in which we are not guilty. And yet, what a huge thing happened, RIGHT at the same time, within days of the horror, was the opportunity of Callaloo. I have a whole new life in the world of Black letters and I am terrified, thrilled, wading in it, suffering over it, reveling in it. All at once I feel like a total impostor, and then supremely capable. I know that I am growing. Not exactly as I would like, not in the way I think is "right", but I am in process and learning and growing. It's so intense at moments to feel like Kira and wondering what Luke and Charles and Rasheeda are thinking of me. Of my shortcomings and strengths. I'm always getting ahead of myself, wondering what the end is, wondering when it will go sideways, or when I will be found out, or when I will be put out or...but my meditation practice is my refuge. I can watch myself. I can see the ways in which I try to game it in my mind, to sabotage it so I can be right and unpressured. But I'm sticking it out. I am making it work. And I am doing a great fucking job, in spite of any opinions my devious mind may make up about my shortcomings and inadequacies.

My wife and I bought a home in San Jose. I am so grateful to be in full control of where we live, and to be in a neighborhood that overall has lots of things that make me and my family happy on a daily basis.

My dad died on Pi Day 2024. Not being close to my immediate family — both emotionally and geographically speaking — I could never have predicted how his loss would disrupt my day to day life so profoundly. Everything changed. In the moment of his unexpected and swift demise, I was surprisingly proud of how my family navigated the shock and sadness, really centering what would be best for him — and being kind to each other through really tough decisions. In the months since, I've become more and more resentful as reality has set in. The truth is, I'm not close to my family — both emotionally and geographically speaking — for a reason. And I don't know how to balance being a good human and dutiful daughter against maintaining the boundaries I've set over decades of figuring out how to be in a relationship at all with people who make me so sad and angry and empty. I never realized how much my dad made an arm's length relationship possible. And I don't know what's salvageable and survivable without him.

So many things Honestly just watching the entire leftist community just abandon us It made me resentful and cynical I’m so lost

It's been an incredibly stressful year, marked by my third relocation to a new city. Despite my efforts, I haven’t been able to secure a job. My resume gets me interviews, but they only focus on one aspect of my experience. The other roles they offer are for less money and require no additional knowledge, which has left me feeling resentful. Sometimes, I suspect ageism is at play. I don’t understand how companies expect to succeed if they can’t invest in training their employees. This situation has taken a toll on my mental health, especially since my husband is working tirelessly to support us. Despite his experience, knowledge, and great personality, companies aren’t willing to pay to retain such valuable employees. We desperately need a job, particularly for the health benefits. I feel so uninspired and lost, and the advice I receive from others hasn’t been helpful. I don’t know how to reconnect with the person I used to be.

The past year I saw the end of a toxic and abusive relationship of almost 17 years once and for all. I grieved. I survived that when I didn't think I could. And then went on to be brave enough to go back in public and even date again. Which is still hard, and I still feel the effects, but I could not have imagined *here* last year.

I was diagnosed with melanoma. It was truly terrifying. Got surgery and now I am fine. This should shake me into a healthier lifestyle, but I have reset to my old ways. I was impeded from doing anything physical for over a month and then I jumped back into school craziness. If I want to live until 80, I need to make changes.

I fell in love again this year and started a new relationship that feels really good and like it has the potential to be lifelong. I love being in love, and it’s brought me a lot of energy and hope to be able to love and care for someone in that way again. I’m grateful to be loved and to love.

I met and went on holiday with SH. It made me feel happy and cute, and grateful for it, but also helped me pull apart my romantic feelings and hold them at a slight distance when necessary. A little relieved it's gone alright so far, a tiny bit resentful it went as expected.

I had my trust broken to the degree can even barely have imagined. We’re right around the one year mark of this and it’s been one of the darkest years in my life due to this trust breaking (that I could barely give in the first place). I know that some kind of beautiful transformation is happening, and I pray there was a higher reason that I went through it all and that it is leading me to georgeous experience, somehow some undescribable way. I’ve had some evidence today that that might be the case, and had one of the best highest experiences of my life, that shows me my purpose and what I’m here to do on this planet. Other markers of the day finally culminated , it was beautiful despite the tragedy that also folded into this da. So hard not to give up…. I push myself to rise in the unthinkable and I think and pray succeeding

This could be the most cliché answer, but at this point, every Jew will say October 7th, yet it really did change everything. I am grieving a false sense of security I may have felt in the city and country I call home and that is something that’s so hard to deal with. Even if I did not always feel welcome in Jewish spaces growing up because only my mom is Jewish and my dad isn’t, the vitriol I have seen and the realization that so many people actually hate without even recalling I’m Jewish frightened me to a degree that made me rethink everything. My place in this society is precarious and I no longer feel as comfortable in spaces where I would used to be completely welcomed. I am much more reluctant to get involved in things because I am scared of how people will react. I lament the death of nuance because my view on the war is nuanced, but when there are people supporting Islamic terrorists protesting around the corner from you every week, what would you do?

Like many in the Jewish Community, it's impossible to understate how the events of October 7th has affected my life, friendships, and belief systems- both religious and political. I have spent hours studying, listening and reflecting about how these events affect my personal and communal sense of safety and security in the world. Even with the deep, soul crushing sorrow, I feel grateful for Jewish community in the communal sense of grieving and the personal insights and ethical reflections. I am disappointed by the losing of people I considered friends and appalled by the naivety in our greater society. I also grieve for the pure devastation that has occurred in Gaza and fear for the lack of a long term sustainable, resolution in entire region.

hard not to think of october 7th and the ensuing genocide, which started right after high holidays last year. what a horrific year it has been. my family, and so many others, torn apart, cracks exposed. feeling helpless trying to do something, anything, to stop our government from funding it, nothing working. the pain and suffering and too many dead children to keep in human numbers. the numbers. khalil was killed so early on, and then so many people kept dying. going to school every day in the first months and no one understanding. b not understanding that to me, my sadness felt similar to when my grandma was dying. i never told him that because i don't think he would grasp it. now, the war escalating. the jews in the news every single day and so unwell. i feel committed but sad and scared and heartbroken and defeated.

The old company I worked for was sold from the previous leadership when they went bankrupt. It impacted me financially, mentally & emotionally in positive ways. I was absolutely relieved to be out from there & paid regularly. I am ecstatic in my relief. Being at the new company has definitely decreased my stress. While it may have been a financial concession, it has made up for in being less hostile, emotionally taxing & volatile work place. I am grateful & praise The Most High for seeing me through that season in such an amazing way.

Oct 7th - I have no words for how it's impacted me. I both feel more connected to the Jewish community worldwide, but it's been utterly horrible. Regardless of what you think of the response, I can't process how former friends deny the rapes and the violence that Hamas filmed and advertised. It's a double pain, the pain of the event and then the pain of people denying it. The lack of nuance in the conversation around this issue has also been dispiriting. You are either termed a genocide apologist or a terrorist lover. And it's driven me to the extreme as well. I miss the world and my former self of Oct 6th, but I am also glad to be awakened to reality since ignorance is never good in the long term.

The Hamas attack on Oct 7. I am, like the rest of the country, hurt, bleeding, mourning, and entirely horrified at how blind and stupid and antisemitic the world is.

My mom suffered a significant stroke and physically and esp mentally has radically changed. My dad became the sole caregiver and mom is showing significant signs of dementia. Along with this I have watched my father-in-law also become the sole caregiver of my mother-in-law. My daughter got diagnosed with MS. While it made me see how important my family, my children and husband, sisters all extended family are, I’ve watched it take apart relationships, watched my sisters become what they swore they wouldn’t become. I’ve watched my dad, who is the strongest most honorable person I have ever known, step up but also start to doubt himself. Watched my children all rally round for each other. It’s all made me stronger and more certain of staying true to myself and understanding I can only keep to the path I see that feels right and is true for me. While it hurts when i see others be hypocritical or hurtful, i am finding that I can’t let that sway me from my truth and my way forward. I won’t give up on any of my family but I won’t let them make me feel how I cope with this all is wrong. Even if it is just my way

Emptying my garage. Disruptive influence that lingers along with gratitude and relief. Some resentment comes up from these inanimate objects. And some inspiration to make my home more organized.

One experience that happened was getting to see the monarch butterflies in Mexico and meeting incredible new friends along the way 🦋 it was something I’d wanted to do and it took some effort for me to get there, to make the plan, to figure out how best to do it. And when the day came, it was beyond magical and connective. It was more than I could have hoped for connective in how beautifully it unfolded - truly a once in a lifetime memory for me.

Daniel stopped talking to me and stopped living with me abruptly. It’s been months, with no end in sight. And with much trepidation about if that changes - can we both deal with the anger and hurt and fear and damage that have contributed to & resulted from this separation. Intellectually I know that it’s a teenager thing - that he’s separating from me as his primary parent, and that this is a good thing. And. And… I have been heartbroken. And also… maybe that’s a good thing for me, too. Maybe I needed to separate from him and find out who I am now, 17 years later. Maybe he was just the brave one. As teenagers are wont to be, black-and-white-worlds and all. All that to say, I hope that we begin to be able to repair our relationship this year. I really really hope - regardless of *our* relationship - that he begins to learn how to deal with his anger (self turned outwards) and begins to learn how to recognize & deal/cope with his intense feelings. So he has an easier life, interpersonally, than I have had. I love my son so very, very much.

I moved to Denver from the PNW this year. It was scary but it has paid off (unfortunately not literally). I feel brave for taking the plunge into true adulthood. I miss Seattle sometimes, but I know I'll be back soon. My life here is worth any sacrifice I made in moving here.

Oct 7. I'm scared, grieving, and feel more connected to Israel than ever before. I also need an escape plan from the antisemitism in America. I am shocked by how antisemitic our country is. I want to be more connected to being Jewish when I'm better.

Within the past year, I have decided that I wanted to convert to Judaism and officially started the process in August with my Rabbi and the IJL course. Amidst all the events that have been happening in Toronto, Israel, and the rest of the world, I am still inspired to be starting on my journey towards living a Jewish life and very grateful all the wonderful people I have met so far, as well as relieved for the support from my family.

Got laid off and started my own business! It’s been so rewarding but also has challenged me and my confidence in so many ways!

My brother died after 7 years struggling with dementia. I'm grateful I took the opportunity to be with him in his last years. In his own way he thanked me and told me he loved me. He also punched me a few times and hurt me emotionally and physically in other ways too. I can't imagine how frustrating it must have been not to be able to communicate your needs and feelings. I do feel some relief along with sadness. His celebration of life is a week away now and I need to write a eulogy as I've just decided to speak at his memorial service. We're pulling it together finally with music and speakers. It will be a really special evening if I can stay focused outside myself and hear what people have to say about him. I hope my memory can hold it all.

I got to go to England with my Mom in May into June. It was amazing and furthered proved my love of England. It was an amazing experience and opportunity! And I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I was teaching full time and/or paying rent for an apartment. Looking back, I didn’t realize how horribly drained and burned out I was, now, even though I might not fit into a “normal” life, it’s still amazing.

I've thought about this for all of 20 seconds and came up with a couple of significant ones. The first one was me losing 45 pounds. Aside from the obvious health and longevity benefits, one of the biggest benefits has been the confidence that I can do more things by myself. For example, I was able to unbox and set up a 75" TV by myself (and move the 65" across the house and down into the basement). That is not something I would have been able to accomplish the last time I answered this question. The other one was that in late May, I took my last dose of psych meds. I slowly reduced one med after another, until May, when I stopped taking my mood stabilizer. After being diagnosed with Bipolar (first BP2, then upgraded to BP1), I assumed I'd be on psych meds for the rest of my life. After working through my big issues in therapy and later becoming a practicing Buddhist, I found a peace that frankly, I'd never felt before. However, for a few months after stopping the med, I went through some very difficult times as I was adjusting to a life where nothing was filtered through the mood stabilizer. Everything seemed harsher (sounds, light), people seemed meaner. I had to start up therapy again to help deal with this (among other things) and that has helped. Finally understanding that I'm a "highly sensitive person" has also helped me (and makes me question the entire Bipolar diagnosis). It's been 4 1/2 months post-meds and things have settled. I am relieved because I feel like I can actually make it and live the calm, peaceful life that I've been desiring for years without the need for meds.

This year I'm separating from my ex-wife. Despite the challenges, and the resent, I am looking forward to a peaceful home, a quiet mind, and am ready to rebuild. I can finally be myself again.

First ever accident. Can play up until the curve but from there to Nolt Rd dont remember anything. Did we flip once or twice. Its totally up to God to know. Affects because I not only put my life in danger but Elizabeths and Taylors and the pups. Have moved on but one true event on Sept 10th I will never forget. Gizmos Day

Israel's war on the people of Palestine, and now Lebanon, and Syria. I know Israel has a lot of enemies. What about Oct 7, you ask? Because every single mention of the the displacement and genocide of palestinian people in the US media makes sure to point the finger at this day. What about the Israeli hostages, you ask? Netanyahu doesn't care about them as humans, they're just an excuse to continue war. Netanyahu wants more land. Some jewish friends have told me they don't trust the reports coming out of the palestinian health authority, because it is controlled by hamas. I don't trust any word out of netanyahu's mouth. Israel is made up of a traumatized jewish people who have a history of needing to defend ourselves - our holidays even tend to follow the story-telling pattern of "they tried to kill us, they couldn't, let's drink!". But the formation of Israel is like any colonizing country - denying the rights and even the existence of other people who live there, but we have the added defense of being and feeling like a prosecuted people. I foresee nothing good for human rights and basic human decency. I can't turn a blind eye anymore, but I also feel helpless to change anyone's mind. The kind, generous people I love and call family and friends, who will defend Israel to the end, even if condemning "the violence" and Netanyahu.

Last November I nearly died on the operating table when I had a sudden major bleed in my neck. An alert anesthesiologist recognized I was in trouble and saved my life. I spent two days in the ICU, intubated and sedated, and was discharged the day before Thanksgiving. I had a LOT to be thankful for that day, even if it affected my energy for the holidays. Yet I'm not sure it had any really lasting impact, aside from lingering trauma. There were no real lessons from it, other than those "one in a thousand" complications have to happen to someone, and it was my bad luck to fall victim to statistics.

10/7/23. It affected the whole world, the whole community, and it affected the relationships in my life and who really had my back this past year. I still feel sadness and numbness but also feel so much hope being part of the community who supports Israel and the Jewish people.

The most significant event was October 7. It was frightening for Jews everywhere, and we felt our collective safety shattered. Too many people lost their lives that day - in every sense of the word. I am afraid nothing will be the same. I fear for the antisemitism, for the safety of myself and my family, and for all of Klal Yisrael. I feel an even stronger pull to my peoplehood, to my Jewish identity and to my faith.

The obvious answer is the Hamas terrorist massacre on Israel on October 7, 2023. Like so many, I have felt frightened, helpless, furious, bitter, and depressed. Of course I’m grateful to be alive and living in NYC. I love being a Jew. I love Israel. I’m a Zionist. I became disenchanted with the usual leftists liberals, but I don’t feel emotionally or even physically safe with the larger LGBTQ community. I hardly talk to anyone outside my LGBT Zionist bubble. I’m grateful for Queers Against Antisemitism and Shalom Dykes. I resent the compulsory and mandatory sharing of Jewish grief and feelings with “what about the Palestinians?” Duh, of course, but can I have my own feelings for 5 minutes? Other than that, the big changes were my daughter’s bat mitzvah, which was AMAZING! I can’t believe I got through that, while recovering from cancer surgery, and dealing with my ex and my family. Third (I know it said one, but…) was getting a new boss, changing office locations twice, New staff, New assignments. This is the 5th consecutive year with major job changes. Can’t wait to retire.

I had the opportunity to participate in the creation of an 82 foot high structure, made entirely out of cardboard and tape, which was to be displayed at a Phish concert that my daughter and some of her festival friends would be attending, This project gave me a greater understanding of the significance of these music festivals for the "followers" of the group.. Attending the festival with my daughter, albeit briefly, was a wonderful sharing and gave of both great joy and satisfaction. I was able to host some of her friends overnight, which was exhausting but very delightful. In additonto those postivies, I developed a new friendship with a local woman and met a young Jewish woman who was a responsible member of the administrative staff for the project. We spent time sharing our experiences and exploring our perspectives about a variety of subjects. She was pregnant with her first child and I was able to be a surrogate parent for a few days. I'm hoping to hear from her when the baby is born in November. She was just such a pleasure and an added bonus !

On July 28th, I decided to stop drinking alcohol. After 22 days of Dry Bootcamp, I decided to invest in my health for another four months. I signed up for Become Euphoric. I choose to remain alcohol free for the rest of 2024. At the end of the year I will reevaluate. On January 4th we leave for Jamaica. I will be interested to see if I choose to drink on vacation or not. I am feeling grateful and 100% inspired. My morning ritual now includes something called the Daily Three. I drink a big glass of water, write down three things I'm grateful for and pick a daily affirmation. I write the affirmation three times. My favorite affirmation so far "Being alcohol free is my superpower!"

This year has been a big travel year for us, with two trips to the west coast, once to the PacNW and one to San Fransisco. We saw sites I had only imagined, including the Golden Gate Bridge, tall tall trees in the Muir Woods, Mt. Ranier, the Space Needle, a fantastic museum of pop culture and most importantly on that trip was our visit to the Tulip Festival. Seeing fields and fields of tulips in bloom truly took my breath away in the best way possible. Also, I joined our community chorus. This was completely not what I expected. Being an old band geek, I'd never sung in an actual group before, but from the moment I got there on the first night, I was struck by the realization and memory of how much I love making music with other people and the experience of doing so has brought a huge amount of joy into my life.

So many. Israel was brutally attacked by Hamas with cruelty beyond comprehension. Pro- Palestinian protestors do not seem to acknowledge Hamas's inexcusable actions, at all! I'm so offended, horrified and depressed. Just feel hopeless shocked resentment.

I have been leading the Groovy Fitness class nearly two years; and the experience of these folks’ response to my ministry has been beautiful. I feel grateful God placed me in this role and that I have the physical ability, financial resources, and creative flexibility to transform the program and to perform my duties. I wouldn’t have asked for the job; but God has given me so much love for this group and even blessed my vocal stamina so that I can deliver. I’m inspired to continue improving the program and find new ways to help my class members live well. I’m also so thrilled that Ryan’s parents have been so supportive and active, especially since Chris’ surgery. Ron is really challenging himself, especially in regard to balance; and Chris has new zeal now that she’s healed. Momma is of course always there making the most of the time and setting a standard (except when she has stayed home to oversee tile work or watch for a package). Her stamina and enthusiasm cheer me as I celebrate her heath and vigor. Best of all, Ryan has been attending enough classes that the other class members know him. His support and encouragement bring me to a level of thankfulness I am unable to articulate; and I pray I reciprocate in ways that edify him in all his endeavors.

This year Nick and I moved in together. Leaving the Bloomington place was bitter and nostalgic. But living in St. Paul together has been so good. I’m anticipatory and excited about building out life together.

In March I finally got serious about managing my blood sugar. I participated in an 8 week metabolic wellness program which included using a continuous glucose monitor. It was a game changer in terms of really understanding how my body responds to different foods, to exercise and to stress. I made no progress for a long time, but stuck with it. Chris was even more committed than I was. He has changed how he shops for food and cooks. It has made me feel very loved and supported. In just the last few weeks I am starting to see a real change in my numbers, so I have hope. I think I’ve lost a little bit of weight and have hope that I might lose more. Surprisingly, I don’t actually feel any different. If anything I have had a sense of feeling my age — I don’t have quite the same energy I used to. I’m shocked when I look in the mirror. Overall I do feel proud of myself and hopeful for the difference this could make in my health as I age.

My feeling is that the last year was void of really incredible experiences. Among many things, I discontinued therapy as something that was not leading anywhere. I see myself as possibly passive aggressive, someone who lost so much time with people pleasing or people hating. Perhaps the most important insight came during the Mozart requiem at Municipal: the symbolism of death as something that allows one to overcome past.

There hasn't really been a single thing. It's been a collection of things bundled together that has generally resulted in me finding more rhythm in my life. Using BetterMe and Yoga-Go to create an exercise routine. Finding the leather chair, buying the ottoman and using my mini projector to set up a cozy corner for me to shift into the evening Taking a pause on using edibles. Going to Skip The Small Talks and looking for more social/dating events to go to. Keeping track of the different categories of things I do month to month (social, family, organizing, Therapy, RC, other) Keeping track of work things in a work journal Having an organizing notebook and a creative notebook All of these individual things together have made me feel less urgent/anxious and feel more mindful about my day-to-day. Even if there are some days or weeks, I stray from some of these things I know now that I have something I can reliably go back to.

CAPRA accomplished. Strategic Plan accomplished. Yes, relief. Sure, they fill out my resume. But did they really give anything to my life except a lot of sleepless nights and stress? If I’m going to experience that much exhaustion can it be for a journey that felt life giving? Significant… nothing really changed my life. I wanted something to change the trajectory of my life, but none of the experiences I put myself in — Seaside/Monterey, some other travel, submitting a Modern Love (not yet, at least), setting up Gingerbread Them — nothing changed. I broke up with public service — I don’t do Boards anymore, they only fed my ego — but I haven’t found the soul feeding activities/reason for being yet.

Several experiences: traveled to Morocco, traveled to Canadian Rockies, mom passed away. The saddest was mom’s passing. I used to call her and talk for an hour at a time every week. We tried to figure out the world together. I miss her greatly. I’m grateful I had her. She loved me and my brother so much. I’d tell her I’love you and she’d always say I love you more. She and dad were blessings to us. I find it hard to live up to them.

The obvious answer is the War. It has shaken my view of the world, has caused so much pain, damage and suffering that I feel hopeless for mankind.

I found a new home. Exacly as I descrive it last year!!! I am very happy. I had to quit my job because it was very bad. Now I am woried

I decided to stop taking an antidepressant medication a year ago. It is not a simple process - huge withdrawal and requiring of my brain with some significant side effects, mostly emotional in nature. Don’t let anyone fool you - these medications are powerful, and I received no warning when I went on them seven years ago how hard it would be to get off them! I am grateful to have survived this process - grateful that I retired and had the time to care for myself and recover from them. The emotional ups and downs were intense. I joined a Facebook group on the topic and that support and solidarity helped a lot. I feel like myself again - the medication muffled my emotions and it’s good to have the fog lifted. The meds helped me at a time when I very much needed them - but I didn’t need them forever! Whew!!

I retired in May 2019. The COVID pandemic hit in Mar 2020. It took 18 months for the new normal and now in 2024 we are back to pre- COVID times. All of the “sky is falling” projections (for the most) did NOT occur. I have found a new voice with less stress teaching after school clubs, Master Gardening BSA volunteering and swim coaching. The COVID bubble is making its way through the schools and slowly being less of a problem. I enjoy the science activities and the kids. I am relieved and inspired. I am having fun!

Probably the October 7th attacks in Israel happening on my 2nd kiddos’s Mitzvah. Made it a day full of conflicting emotions, happy and proud, and also concern for the future.

Jared died. Our grief is unrelenting. His vertebrae fractured (again) in a worse place, couldn’t move, went to the ER and we were hoping it would heal like last time. Sandi was suspicious he wouldn’t get out alive and she was right. He Developed pneumonia and had some sort of seizure was put on hospice, the whole process took a week. Jason and Adam were superstars and stayed with him except for overnights. I stayed with him overnight remembering and describing our lives together. I don’t know whether he heard me or not. Rabbi Pinkwasser and Anne were with us through much of the journey. We owe them so much. The Temple members, back east family, our Chavarah, Gesher, caregivers, and friends attended the funeral and Shivas. Point being - being a member of a Temple for 40 + years culminates in overwhelming support. We are beyond blessed in that regard I guess. On the other hand taking care of your disabled son for 44 years (which we accepted and usually enjoyed because Jared was so strangely spiritual and baby like) then suddenly stopped had a strange effect because we were able to travel, stay out late and get a nights sleep. But overall we’d do anything to have him back. Many people think we were hero’s for keeping him home and caring for him, but the opposite is true - he was the hero battling through his many disabilities and being mostly pleasant with that ethereal smile. So should I feel better because he passed before us (?) - because if we passed before him he would have likely suffered. Some questions have no answers. Our community, family and especially the grandchildren keep us sane during our darkest moments- and there are many. Rest in peace our precious Jared, you were a light in our lives, a special spirit and mommy and daddy will someday lie beside you and care for you forever.

I broke up with a good friend that I never imagined not having in my life. We’d always been on different sides of several things: politics, religion, parenthood. Despite that, we made it work for years until January of this year. A series of interactions that were just so hurtful finally broke me. I knew it was time when I attempted to address my feelings and her response was a halfhearted apology followed by some gaslighting and how I’m hard to be around. On one hand, I’m proud of myself for standing up for myself, not allowing her to treat me badly, knowing I deserve better. On the other, I’m grieving that friendship and wonder about what her side of the story is. In the end, I’ve relieved myself of the anxiety of having a friend make me feel badly about who I am. And I think that’s something to be proud of.

This past year I pinched a nerve in my neck. I was terrified. I was in so much pain I was worried I was going to paralyze myself while showering. This pinched nerve revealed that I had a straightening of my spine that would have led to some more serious complications had it not been found with this experience. I am now focused on returning to a state of health and am determined to set life-long habits that will keep my happy and healthy. I am grateful that I had this experience and that it put me on this path.

I asked my spouse for a divorce after 29 years together. It was long in coming but happened at the right time. He shared that he also wanted to split and since it has been extremely amicable. I feel lucky. Sometimes i berate myself for waiting for so long but then realize that it happened now for a reason; that the ease might not have been possible at an earlier time.

Joined a support group, and then started facilitating it. For decades I had to manage mental illness by myself. I am grateful. Relieved. Surprised.

I bet everyone is writing about October 7th and I don't care, I'm going to too. I can't believe I witnessed the largest loss of Jewish life since the shoah and then saw Israel accused of genocide on October 11th. I can't believe that seemingly everyone I know who isn't Jewish is suddenly an expert on Middle East policy who is espousing settler colonialism and the hoping for the destruction of the State of Israel. I've learned how little the world cares for Jewish suffering. I've seen antisemitism mutate and grow stronger in real time. I'm disgusted daily. I'm disappointed daily. I somehow thought this wouldn't happen again. I tremble that my son goes into a world more antisemitic than the one I navigated as a child. I feel like it will just be October 7th forever. I feel like this is a Shiva for all the victims and for the place we thought we had in the world. No one cares about hostages apparently if they're Jewish. When Hersh died I knew for sure. He was the face of the hostages here in the US. I feel like I don't understand anymore what it means to be Jewish in how others perceive me. I try so hard to be a righteous person. Do people think I am bankrupt morally? That I have this one little blind spot and oops! It's a genocide! I feel so lost and alone.

October 7 was a huge day for me. I can’t even put into words yet how completely that affected me and everything that I felt this year. In a way, I am grateful because it led me on a year long journey of reconnection with my Judaism but my heart breaks for everyone involved. I only hope I can create a world where dates like 9/11 and October 7 are just memories. I never want anyone to feel the way I felt when I learned about everything. Also the feeling of relief when they rescued my friend from being held hostage is one I will never forgot.

I started my Ph.D. program and I am very grateful that I did. It has been challenging in every way, but the growth it has initiated in my life overall is priceless.

I moved from st Louis to California back home again. I feel I've found my place, I'm happy and grounded and feel really good about my choice.

The attack of Oct 7 and the subsequent war and the dialogue around it have really shaken me. I feel very emotional about all of it and like so many people around me have the wrong take in a dangerous and harmful way but I can’t articulate to myself or others how or why. It’s very upsetting. I can’t tell if I’m wrong or everyone else is. Probably both are true in pieces. Definitely something I’m hoping my future self will have a better handle on. Also, more lightly, going to Arizona was really fun. Is it our first trip as a family that we conceived of purely for ourselves and for fun? Not to visit family but just to enjoy travel? And it worked! It was so fun! And so good for the kids to bond with Julian more, and all of us with Ken and Anne. Good times, more of that.

I attended my step-daughter's graduation. Travelling there, meeting her and her friends, gave me great insight into her growth and see the effect I had had on her life. I felt such love and pride for her.

For ten years, I have been plagued with bouts of severe anemia. No cause was ascertained. In 2024 the symptoms got much worse. Batteries of lab tests and scans revealed nothing conclusive. Finally, an endoscopy identified the cause and defined a treatment plan. I am improving day by day, and look forward to my health and energy being fully restored, and I feel so deeply grateful.

I almost died by drowning in the Pacific Ocean. I felt miraculously saved, in that helpers came to me that day and rescued me though I found out later seven others had recently died in the very same place, that week. I was with David and the way he spoke into my life that day became a picture I’ve held. I was frozen in place “thinking,” at least trying to think, to process what was happening as got pulled out further and further by a rip tide. I resigned that I was about to die but David yelled to me to swim! He woke me into action. He started yelling for help from others and sending people to me. Because of his actions I realized I needed to yell too. I was just dying without him. He saved my life in that way that day, risking his own. He sent help to me when he needed it himself. He barely made it to safety himself. Yes, I am so grateful. Yes, inspired to be more of an action taker and not to only try to think my way out of something. To yell, scream! To live! From that day forward at every dinner we toast, “to life” — David recently proposed that we add, “together”.

We had our permanent campsite for the first time this year. It has really tested our family buy also been loads of fun and we have built some amazing friendships.

Less than a week ago, Hurricane Helene came up through GA, western NC and other areas west of us. We had some heavy rain but little damage. Western NC had catastrophic flooding damage though, including places we've visited and enjoyed. The "Flowering Bridge" in Lake Lure, NC was totally washed away. I am certainly relieved that we were spared and that my brother Joe and his partner who live in western NC are OK. But I am having a hard time grasping the scale of the damage and mostly not thinking about it. We contributed $350 to the NC relief fund but are still planning a little getaway to the NC coast this weekend. Should I be doing more to help with the recovery effort instead? Am I cold for not wanting to help more? I hope that the real efforts of others will be enough.

Death. No relief, no gratefulness, yes to existential resentment, not sure about inspiration. Six months going on seven. As my mom says it never gets easier,

I got off of one of my medications. This has made me see life in a new light. I am grateful, fearful, and feel frozen from habitual tendencies that are difficult but necessary for me to break.

Oct. 7th and it's horror and increase in anti-semitism! Hate what Netenyahu is doing to Israel! Been very upset all year and feel powerless to change the course of history- will Israel survive? So much anti-Israel sentiment in all parts of the globe!!

I went to Israel last November barely a month after the horrific events of October 7th unfolded. I was with one of the first groups to see firsthand what Hamas did to my people and my Homeland. I went down to Kibbutz Be’eri and saw more bullet holes and blood stains and burnt down homes than I could count. I met with survivors of the Nova Festival and heard their stories. I visited wounded soldiers in the hospital. I volunteered and made care packages for displaced people. This experience impacted me profoundly. I am grateful to have been able to stand with Israel, literally, in a time of such despair. I was relieved to see up close how strong and resilient Israelis are, which in turn motivated me to be the same. I was resentful of how such a terrible thing could happen while also inspired to help however I can. I left set on doing everything in my power to stand up for Israel, and I continue to just that and then some.

Definitely starting to date, it has been a hard experience but rewarding to challenge myself nonetheless

October 7th was a watershed day in Jewish life — simultaneously exposing the depth of antisemitism not just globally but also in the United States, the fragility of Israel’s existence, the existential threat that Benjamin Netanyahu poses to Israel’s continued existence, the illusiveness of peace, and the profound loneliness of being a Jew. It has left me exhausted, scared, questioning everything, and often feeling very alone one second and very part of the global Jewish community the next. I am mad at the world for not caring about Jewish and Israeli lives. I am mad at the world for not caring about Palestinian lives. I am mad at Israelis for electing Benjamin Netanyahu. I am furious that the world has decided that terrorism is abhorrent, unless it’s against Jews in which case it’s totally fine — and even encouraged. I am aghast that there are still over 100 hostages in Gaza — people just like me — and literally no one cares. I am mad at the world for the blatant antisemitism that laces every comment about Israel and Jews. I am scared for what it means about my own safety and security. And mostly I am confused. For months after October 7th I would go around saying “it’s darkest before dawn” - my manta that maybe there are better days ahead. But now I don’t even know if I believe that myself anymore and I feel lost, alone, and scared.

Dad died. It was sudden and it was awful. I am so very angry still — we went to visit for the holidays and four days later he was dead. It precipitated a cascade of life changes — I quit a job I really liked and we left Chicago to move closer to mom and my sister. It’s been hard on me and hard on our marriage. I miss Chicago every day and sometimes I feel trapped here.

I left my job to start a private practice. I think I ventured quickly into the I known and there were things I wish I’d considered first, but the timing still felt right. And I learned more about how I want an employer to treat me. I am feeling creatively inspired but also like I’m never doing enough.

I moved to Salem. It has been a positive experience. While there was a lot of drama at the start of my job, I do like my work and colleagues. I feel grateful.

I was promoted. I finally believe that I'm am worth something. As it's a secondment I am nervous I won't be successful.

搬進了龍吟小館。做出決定前既興奮又緊張，最終發現，我想要的生活原來就是這樣簡單、可及、幸福。每天在這個空間裡生活，覺得這不只是夢想人生，是夢幻人生！ 但說也奇怪，也很明顯感覺到，現在的龍吟小館，只是 1.0 版本，還會持續演化，不知道未來會有什麼樣的驚喜呢？

I converted to Judaism last year. It has truly made my life more fulfilling and like a hole in my heart has been mended. I am relieved that it’s done and grateful to have had the opportunity and support to do so. I wake up feeling more whole and actively practice gratitude in a way I never did before.

I had gender-affirming chest surgery in July. The positive impact it has had on me is astounding. I feel so much better, even beyond expectations. I feel more like myself, and that makes me really, really happy. It’s seriously improved my mental health.

I finally took a mid-year job in a regular classroom and it nearly did me in. Very difficult situation, for sure. In fact, I was specifically recommended for it by district HR. I let that flatter me and help convince me that I was, in fact, a good fit. I was most definitely not. Even though no one outside of my classroom (administrators, other teachers, parents) had any issue with my teaching, I knew I was not serving the kids well. Did they know it as well? Hard to say. At times, it seemed so. But I knew. And I also knew the mountain of effort required for me to turn the class into the high level education experience I knew would be best for the kids vs. continuing to provide the material in the uninspired way that I was doing given what I could quickly gather from fellow teachers--and which, given my lack of experience in regular classrooms, was taking me a large amount of time to prepare for, anyway. Even if I could implement the kind of lessons I really wanted to (and that I tried to here & there), the environment of the school and the outdated material and methods used most widely there made implementing the program I envisioned into a lengthy uphill battle--something I know a more experienced classroom teacher might pull off well, but which would require years of effort from me to achieve. Adding to the anguish, it was part-time, but split between morning and afternoon, so my pay was less then I'd been making as a sub, and I could only make more by filling in a class at a time at the school. Thus it was either take the financial hit, but use nonwork time during the school day to prep (as well as some extra, of course!) or fill in for other blocks and load on all the prep time in the evenings. I spiraled alarmingly quickly into depression--for the first time in my life, at least that I'm aware of--though this was very much facilitated by sleep deprivation caused by sudden and severe anxiety-induced insomnia. Again, for the first time in my life. I lost weight, lost interest in just about everything, and realized my middle-aged health might not be able to take this for very long. With the help of a very understanding spouse, I took the steps to seek therapy, get a doctor's note, and work w/ admin to leave the contract at the end of the semester and go back to subbing. That was scary (especially since it required me to resign from the district and count on them to rehire me as a sub), so I am proud that I did it. I recovered my health, and confirmed that I am only interested in teaching in an "alternative" program that would be a good match for my late-career skills. In this district, that means I may be subbing for quite a while, or permanently, as such programs are scarce. This is fine. I enjoy subbing enough, and can stop considering most of the positions that open up. Biggest fallout is the beating taken by my confidence in myself as an educator. I ended the contract in January. It's now October, and I am just beginning to remember who I was for 20 years as an outdoor-based science & environmental educator keeping up with and applying the latest in best pedagogical practices.

The significant experience was getting severe sciatic pain that impacted my life in numerous ways. I gained empathy for people who face chronic health issues and chronic pain. It becomes so hard to do basic things. I was grateful for all the help and compassion I received, and all the grace I was given.

I think all of my answers this year are going to be related to October 7 and the war in Israel. It’s affected me deeply, because it’s the first time Israel has been at war, where I’ve been an adult and it’s been long lasting. When I was younger, and there would be suicide, bombings, or other issues in Israel, it felt very far away, foreign, and not as significant of a deal as this does now that I am an adult with a fully fledged prefrontal cortex. It also impacted me so much because it is the scariest thing to happen to Jews that I’ve ever lived through. I would say that all of the feelings I have regarding the war are negative, with one exception. Despite the fact that there are so many terrible civilian casualties in Gaza, I still feel incredibly proud of Israel and their strength. I feel proud to be Jewish and proud that Israel doesn’t let anyone fuck with them. I’m also proud of Israel’s resilience. The war in Israel has made me feel more connected to my heritage, culture, religion, and community. So there has been some good things to come from it, despite it overwhelmingly being terrible.

I turned 70 and am enormously grateful for my good health, great marriage and family, and for where and who I am at this moment in my life. I learned that Marie delivered a healthy baby on our last day in Costa Rica, celebrating my birthday with 12 of our friends.

Four months after starting my new job, I started graduate school on a dreary weekend in January, online. I learned how to balance work and life and worked on myself even more, and on April 1, despite the fear that it would be perceived as an April Fools joke, I reached out to a friend I'd fundamentally ghosted, apologizing and sharing that yes, I missed him too. I'd known him since I was 16, after all -- twenty-eight long years of intertwined history, and throughout it all, he'd always held a special place, an important person that it was vital I not lose track of. By the end of April, we were dating. By the end of July, we were making plans to end the long-distance aspect of the relationship as soon as we could. By the end of September, we were trying to move up the timeline. It doesn't make me any less poly, but as he said, "you're the person I want to come home to at the end of the day." After years of relationships that had toxicity on so many levels, there's something so special about this one, where we've both made the choice to improve, the choice to be better, the choice to commit. Love is a verb and a choice. I'm grateful I made this choice and he's one of the people walking beside me in this life.

I went to Costa Rica with a group of people from a private club that I did not belong to, knowing about 6 out of the 18, but not well, to play pickleball. This was both for my healing from my breakup - at that time, just about 11 months, as a way to finally get to travel internationally years after losing my wife, and to improve my new sport, pickleball. I am not at a place where I want to travel overseas without companions.

I was laid off which hasn't happened to me before. I am resentful because I performed well across all areas of the company. I am also relieved as I wasn't happy and wasn't developing professionally, so am grateful to have severance and time to look for a new role, which I was doing before being laid off.

I'm being retired from EMS. Honestly, I knew it was going to happen but the timing was crazy. I was warned 2 weeks before it was supposed to happen and that date of retirement? Basically Rosh Hashanah. 12 hours exactly from the Erev Rosh Hashanah Service. I had a breakdown from it. I went completely OTD during the pandemic. I just could not be an observant Jew with everything going on and 112+ straight 24 hour shifts then all the part time work where I was so often so close to my shul. It hurt to not be able to go. To have G-d tell me I had 2 weeks to get my act together? That was pushing me towards a break down because I miss my Reformadox life. And now I might be able to get it back again!

I came to and through a crisis point. My mental health was already bad because of a frustrating work project where I had lost professional (but not personal) respect for my colleague that I had to work with. Then I found out my teammate was pregnant and the stress of thinking of doing her workload and mine, plus the jealousy because I had been trying and failing to conceive, really got to me. I reacted very badly (internally, not to her) and had a very unpleasant weekend where I couldn’t stop sobbing. I could tell this was not normal for me so I immediately got back on the SSRI’s I’d tapered off, made an appointment to see a fertility specialist, and let my supervisor know that my current workload/how the project was going wasn’t sustainable. I made some changes to the project with my supervisor’s support and got advice from the fertility specialist. In the end it was really helpful that I ‘broke’ and had to change my coping strategies, and unlike the last time this happened, I immediately knew I had broken and what I needed to do improve my life. I just got a positive pregnancy test this week and I am hoping it will come to term. If I hadn’t been willing to ask for help, I wouldn’t have the better working relationships, the more stable perspective, the new pregnancy. I am also grateful for my spouse, who taught me to ask myself if my coping mechanisms were working.

I had a big, fairly traumatic procedure to correct an essential tremor on my left side. It has been with me most of my life and had begun to hold me back in what a did, what I agreed to do and how I did it. I am so grateful to the neurology team who have transformed my life.

Moving to Kelowna. It was traumatic in that I was giving up a house that I loved and a community in which I felt deeply embedded. It was stressful. Yet it was also exciting to be launching a new era of my life with my newly-retired and cancer-recovering husband. I felt ambivalent about moving in with my mother, but I knew it was something I needed to do and hoped all three of us would find it enriching.

Will came to live with me as a boyfriend. We wiped out romantically but are still seeing each other. I feel relieved that he moved out and I want a real romantic passionate love. I still care about him though.

I fell and broke my knee in half while abroad over the holidays. The injury has severely impacted my life, resulting in ongoing pain and restricted mobility 10 months later. For the first few months I could not stand up or sit down by myself. I could not drive for 6 months. I have had two surgeries. I still walk with a limp, have difficulty with stairs, and can barely make it around the block while walking despite going to physical therapy every week. I still blame myself for the accident. And for not working hard enough to heal somehow. But I also know I’m lucky to be wear I am after such a serious fall. I try to stay positive and know I will keep improving, but I’ve also had to accept that I will never be the way I was before. But that’s life, isn’t it? Nothing is permanent and nothing is guaranteed. Now life is about enjoying what I can do, knowing my limits at times, and continuing to focus on recovery and strengthening. But I do feel sad sometimes about what I have lost, which I try to remind myself is okay. I also feel grateful for my husband who worked so hard to take care of me and our kids during this time. It reminds me of how dependable he is and how much he loves me. My close friends also kept me going, even the ones who live far away. Having your people is critical when facing something so physically and emotionally difficult.

I was diagnosed with diabetes. NO, I am not grateful. I was and am still angry at what I perceive that I did to myself, and I also in secret blame two other people for this event in my life. I was depressed, I was eating and baking a lot of sugary things. I was sitting on my butt alot. I went through menopause. I was depressed because of the two other people. It didn't help. I was going to go full-on vegan in the New Year (secular) and drop pounds. Instead, I am now eating meat to meet the requirements of a diabetic diet. NOW I am dropping pounds-- because I am diabetic. And I am still depressed. I have lost over 55 lbs., I look great, I am exercising, eating right, eating proper portions. I am still floundering around emotionally. I was just yelling at myself in my bathroom mirror. I am sure my neighbors think I've flipped. I've withdrawn from doing a lot of things I used to do. I just want to be alone and take care of myself. It takes all my time and energy. I have not eaten at any kind of restaurant since being declared diabetic because I don't know if it would be okay for me. I am 58 years old and I feel like a failure. I see no future for myself.

Getting published was gleeful and affirming and wonderful

In the past year I had quite some defining moments in my life. I lived some of the happiest days as a fully nomad, independent woman. As I was entering my mid-30s and single, I also decided to freeze my eggs which was an important mark and procedure for me. Funnily enough last year I also ended up meeting my current partner who I love and adore. Because of it, I quit my nomad life and moved to Australia - which has been a challenge. I'm "relieved" in a way I found my person, but he is 5 years younger and not yet on the same page as me in life - so moving, quitting all my life in Europe (currently unemployed) and so far no really close to marriage and kids has been difficult. I still haven't adapted to Australia, the culture, the people and have been very frustrating. But I'm hopeful and want to give this a fair shot.

This year has been an unfolding of my self without Joe. Some significant steps in that journey included inviting Joe Hamel here in December, and then visiting him in New York in March. Warm, easy and confusing too. Part of me could not let go, and that is understandable. In April, I traveled to New Mexico, visiting Judith and David in Albuquerque, and alone to Santa Fe. It was wonderful, and let me feel my aloneness in a healthy, growing way. Another big thing was teaching at Playa at Summer Lake in September. Mon joined me there, and our time together was wonderful, our connection to each other and to Joe is a comfort to us both. My workshop went so well, it answered the question of teaching as a fruitful path for me. Knowing this helps me as I keep walking into this new chapter.

I had a nonstop headaches for 3 months and 2trips to ER w/drugs that wouldn’t even touch them. Ended up being “cluster headaches” and Emgality shots stopped them. Concurrently, had a diagnosis for elevated Lipoprotein-a and found Repatha injections until new sn-RNA meds are approved. Suxxx…. not having lived the life that causes these things, yet paying for them anyway. Inherited and genetics.

Learning about October 7 was horrifying. It’s made me more of an advocate for Israel and the Jewish people.

Zadie! Born 6/12/24 and is better than we could have dreamed. All the tumult and stress of Charlie’s covid birth has been healed through her joy and charm. The birth itself was not ideal though - 2 hours of unmediated pushing followed by an emergency c section that I begged for:I turned out to be 100% right and knowing that my call kept her safe and healthy gives me so much faith in and gratitude for my body and intuition. I also negotiated for a status shift in work and am a lot happier in my position than I was last year this time. Feel much more sure of myself professionally, I’ve found my day job path. Started writing in the mornings in January and would love eventually to get back to this, but love the momentum I have on my book, and how much more confidence this gives me in writing/voice. In general a year of restorative healing through hard work and big leaps.

I flew Business class for this first time in June this year. It made me feel very grateful that I am able to experience such comforts, which made the arrival in Spain and also Singapore so much more pleasant. It also made watching movies much more enjoyable and private. I liked being able to lie down.

There are 2. I chose to leave a company I had worked with longer than other companies in my life and a month afterwards, my mother died suddenly. I am grateful that I chose to leave an environment that became increasingly toxic to focus on my mental health. I had a wonderful new team that I was able to space to grieve.

Getting my heart shattered and broken was truly the worst moment of my year. I’ve never been more hurt, confused, frustrated, shocked, you name it. It’s taken me a long 8 months and I finally am starting to see the light. The relationship I’ve formed with myself is better than I ever could have imagined. I’m so grateful for this life now, I’m grateful for ssri’s and therapy and my friends who supported me and let me lean on them through the worst of the worst.

My daughter has been graduated school with honor, and left for college to another country. I feel so proud for both of us that we could make it happened. But in the same time i feel sad and lonely and i miss her so much. It hurts a lot after 18 years being do close having no chance to hug and kiss her every day. But it was the best we can do and absolutely necessary decision.

Last week I attended the documentary Weirdo, about my favorite band, Five-Eight. I spent time with a dear old friend who knows something about my past trauma, and learned that he just went through cancer treatment. I ran in to an old colleague and saw a few others I knew. I felt very grounded and connected.

My dad died. That changed everything, it changed me. I know what it feels like to experience the full spectrum of emotions. It fucking sucks but I am grateful for it. My life is both richer and sadder at the same time. I can’t help to feel so lucky though that my dad was my dad. He still is. He lives on through love. I am because of him and this is just one of those things that happens in life that you have no other choice to deal with. My life depends on so many choices that helps me to navigate a new path to truth and freedom. I miss him so much and I’ll never be the same but I am so thankful to being living in this new alignment.

The most significant experience this year was my lung cancer. I’m incredibly grateful to have found it as an incidental finding before developing symptoms. It was so tiny and other than the surgery to remove my upper lobe, no further treatment was necessary and it’s considered a complete cancer free recovery. The scars will be a permanent reminder to stay on top of my healthcare, do my routine screenings and to advocate strongly for my own health.

In the past year I was told that I was getting my own classroom and would be teaching direct instruction ELA classes! I was very excited and grateful and scared as hell because I want to be the best teacher I can be.

October 7th… do I need to say more? It continues to be terribly upsetting, especially as the war now with Hezbollah is escalating, but I’m hopeful that perhaps this latest escalation is the beginning of the end. The antisemitism and lack of historical knowledge and perspective is horrible - especially from within the Jewish command my own family. That said, I hope the silver lining is that younger people see that antisemitism isn’t a relic of the past, and learn (to quote Mom) that even if they forget they’re Jewish, there’ll always be someone to remind them.

As I think on this question, initially I couldn't identify anything. The more I thought about it, I couldn't even pick one so I'll speak to a few. The obvious one is the Israel-Hamas War. On October 7th, fighters from Hamas attacked civilians in Israel killing 1200 people. Since then, Israel has attacked and fought with Hamas and it's other enemies. Outside of the obvious emotions - sadness, anger, fear and depression - I have felt pretty isolated about it. First, very few people reached out to me recognizing that I might be struggling or afraid which promoted the idea that Jews are really held in low opinion and that anti-semitism is not over. When I think about it too deeply, I feel devastated and also grateful that I live in a country where Jews are not currently persecuted because the fact of the matter is, Jews have been persecuted for CENTURIES. The second, more personal experience is with the legal system. Keith and I have been suing a former business partner of his for the last year and prior to that as well. I feel grateful that we have had the resources to pursue this, but angry about how expensive legal representation is, how slow the process is and generally, how difficult it is to pursue justice. We won our case, and are attempting to collect on the debt. It is unclear what we will receive. I suppose I am relieved the case is over and if I am looking at the glass half full and inspired by my own determination and efforts. I am proud that it hasn't destroyed my marriage because I think it could have done that. So maybe I am proud of myself for continuing to commit and show up even when it was really hard. Now that I reflect on it - it's been a really hard year.

Cadence and I moved downtown to a new home. Even though it's way out of my price range I love it and we're close to his school and can ride bikes. My mom is now officially homeless and "couch surfing" with her various children. We're waiting for some affordable housing to open up. I have a lot of emotions about it all. I'm stressed about fianances but also relieved to be in a home that I love and to have Cadence going to a good school. I feel sad about my mom not having a home. I cut off communication with my dad since June to re-establish boundaries. A lot of healing of family trauma. Hard. Messy. Good.

My mom died during the summer. I was not allowed to see her before and it had been decades since I had seen her. I moved to her home, my childhood home, which meant I left behind my daughter and granddaughter in order to attempt to save some piece of family history. I have officially moved my residence to the Panhandle. It has all been a huge struggle. I did not realize how much the change of moving would impact me and my condition. I feel like it has ruined me. I am no more than a lump on a log and I am terrified. I feel so much regret concerning my mom. Which made me really reflect on all of my relationships and just wow. It's amazing that one human body can hold so much hurt and anger at the self, self disappointment. But lighting the candle tonight and looking at the trees and the sky, hearing the squirrels play and chirp, I feel like it pierced through all the inner chaos like a sword and reminded me to have more than hope. I am reminded to have gratitude and to never lose that 'awe' of just how miraculous the world actually is. It's mind boggling how creative and magnificent creation is. Just wow. I hope that I can hold on to that tightly and use it to help me get out of this pit I landed in. Which was a hole I dug myself. It's time to fill the hole up and get on with the business of life, and have a good life.

I cannot believe that just a few months after posting this question last year, my entire career has improved. And it wouldn't have happened had I not seen the opportunity and gone for it. I got it by asking for it. I knew what I wanted (Director of DRS) and asked to be considered. I'm in a temporary role now; hopefully, I can compete for the permanent role. I am so happy. Not only did I get away from the most toxic boss I've ever had, but I have a new sense of purpose.

Meeting Rebekah again. Relieved, incredibly grateful, twisted up inside for lost time, just a lot of emotions to process

I am having a hard time thinking about a significant experience. I think that the last 365 days (with the exception of the last week, in which Hurricane Helene devastated my small town and community) has been thankfully quiet. The hurricane has been very upsetting, yet I believe that we have yet to experience the majority of the aftermath. We lost my beautiful aunt to cancer in March and she went with grace and dignity. I caught COVID for the first time in December 2023.

I was able to take my children to Disney. Even though expensive I was happy to do something big and at a place where dreams do come true

Hmm, I went through my second breakup in life. That means I had a brief second relationship (I’m 37 btw). The end of April to the end of September. 5 months. He blocked and ghosted me on 9/27. I was hurt and angry and cried so a lot, until Monday. Going to work means putting my issues on the back burner because I need to be present for my students. Each day I forgave myself for my feelings, allowed myself to have those feelings….and really analyze the relationship both the good, but especially what wasn’t working for me. I hate that it ended the way that it did, however, I learned a lot. What I like, what I dislike, who I can confide in, what I consider deal breakers in relationships. How to be honest and upfront about my feelings… yeah. I learned a lot.

Jane just suffered a serious brain injury. An accident can change things in a flash. I’m beside myself. Hopefully, a lot of healing has taken place by the time I read this next year.

the genocide which has dictated so much of my life and many of my relationships this year including the loss of my best friend nas. i wonder where we'll be in a year if anywhere. breaking my wrist AGAIN. losing another friend in nick. remembering i'm hot and then forgetting again and then remembering again. moving to new york city and making another big change in my life. trying to handle mess with grace.

I went and met Palestinians and Israelis trying to stop the violence, and did what I could to support them. I feel grateful for the opportunity and for their friendship, and inspired by their persistence. And I feel a sense of bleakness as well, that I wish I could move past.

Driving on the opposite side of the road! I am relieved and grateful for my confidence and ability to navigate the uncomfortable.

Going to London for a job interview. It was inspiring, and heartbreaking, and exhilarating and nervewracking. Though I didn't get the job (which is fine), and I'm not moving to London in a few months (actually somewhat devastating), it helped me recenter myself after a difficult vocational year, helped reframe my work and how I show up, helped me re-trust my intuition and was massively important to my own personal growth -- I was terrified and thrilled, and if the opportunity to go presented itself, I was going to go, even though there were tons of unknowns. I'm pretty darn proud of myself.

I've cut back on time in the office. I started 2024 spending 45+ hours at the office/in court every week. I now work mostly from home, going into the office a couple of days each week and seldom spending a full 9 hours working in a day. Without my Busy Lawyer Mask, I have had to look more honestly at how I spend my time. Without that easy excuse to avoid people and tasks, I find that some things I have wanted to do for years I'm still not doing. Figuring out why or what I really want to do with my time is my next assignment to myself. I need to untangle myself from the assumption that my primary task in life is to make money and solve other people's problems. I feel a void at the end of most days when I can't point to billable time and public accomplishments.

My partner asked for a divorce for the last time he had been bringing it up every year for the past 4 years I thought it was about his age but I don’t know anymore. It completely changed me I am grateful now as I see we were not good together but hurt that my forever person was actually only for a while I completely believed it was me and him forever. I had put everything into him and our future. Now it’s just my future.

I got some money, it was a surprise when it happened even though I knew it was technically coming. The amount was surprising and I have no idea what I'm going to use it for, but for now it's a liferaft on a sinking ship if I use it right. I hope I'm alive next year to see where it gets me.

I feel like there has been a lot of therapeutic and intentional work in my relationships this past year, especially in my nesting relationship. Efforts have put me more at ease and at peace in my relationship, which certainly hasn't been the case throughout. I've been working hard to relieve the pressure I put on myself in relationship and I think doing so has allowed me to show up in relationships very differently (specifically with less anxiety).

October 7th. Deeply painful, shocking, disturbing, heavy. Has created a new weight on my shoulders and basically all Jews that I know.

I released the album with all manner of fanfare - and that felt wonderful. And I've written new songs since then, which feels even better. That said, maybe the last event of the year before heading into services involved damaging the car, which kept us from going to spend Rosh Hashanah on the island where my mother-in-law lives. And I am both resentful of that - and fearful that it not be a harbinger of the year to come.

Traveling to Israel. The experience inspired and saddened me; as time has passed, it has made me mostly sad and differently aware of my identity as a Jew in the diaspora in many ways and manifesting in how I must now physically demonstrate being a Jew publicly wearing a Jewish star daily. I haven’t worn a star since my bat mitzvah (I’m 61). I wear it for me as a Jewish communal professional and for my two kids who are Jewish communal professionals and showing up everyday in public secular spaces as Jews.

My sister, my only sibling, died recently at 91. She was eleven years older than me and, although we lived in different cities, we maintained an unbreakable bond via long weekly gabs, family holiday celebrations, and precious meetups over long, long brunches. We could tell each other almost anything and be understood and supported. She chose to stop eating and drinking and elected hospice at home, rather than waiting for the inevitable over who knows how long. She lived her life bravely and made me proud.

October 7. It was surreal and life changing. I was filled with shock, profound grief, and anger. Shock that humans were capable of such things and FLOORED the people would openly support it. All of the world's morals have flipped. There's too much to write. Some things you can never put into words. But we now know who our true friends are. The future is scary

Our kitchen remodel was completed. It was very expensive, took longer than it should have, and I had minimal power over the changes made. I have felt frustrated and resentful and hurt, but now I feel relief, and gratitude it looks very pretty.

After deciding that the Pill could be risky at my age, I tried to get an IUD. The aftermath of that failure was a roller coaster I'd rather not ride again, yet expect to be on for at least another decade. The pain was beyond imaginable - decommissioning my back and causing months of a loud ringing in my ear. (I can't believe women volunteer to have more than one childbirth.) The insurance for alternative hormone control options (AKA not birth control) is stupid. The insurance to get back on a slightly less potent birth control is also stupid. The societal attacks on women in the meantime were atrocious, and the micro-attacks at home were worse. I learned to be more assertive for my own health needs. I learned to speak up for women anytime, anywhere. I learned that although I love that childless cat women are going to be responsible for winning the election (if by the grace of god we do), I am tired of the world talking about the actions and/or usefulness of my vagina and I refuse to subscribe to the concept in even the tiniest way. I'm grateful for the courage, relieved of nothing, resentful of humanity, and inspired to be angry. Thanks, IUD.

This year I stayed two nights in the hospital. It was actually my first time staying in the hospital since I was born. I reflect back on it often and I’m really grateful for the experience because it has really made me hone in on what truly matters. Of course I still get wrapped up into letting other people make me anxious, sad and letting Work affect me but Being able to walk outside and eat whenever you want and know that you’re sleeping in your own bed that night is so peaceful

My rescued 9-yr old Labradoodle dog Jake was diagnosed with diabetes in January. which requires a lot of time, energy, and money to manage. I am angry, tired of giving 2 shots a day, depressed, and anxious. I love him and will always care for him but he's taken joy from my golden years.

I can’t think of any one major event. Things in our life didn’t change much. Kids are getting older (Henry applying to college, Lucy starting high school). Work is work. The country is teetering. I’m tired.

I made a lot more money this past year. It’s been a big adjustment and the stress has been difficult, but it’s also relieved a lot of stress in the flexibility it’s provided the family, and options for the future.

Most significant experience this past year has been a job transition. The whole process took quite a long time since i was kept on as part of the 'transition team.' Then afterwards, i had months of freelancing while i waited to see how things would play out. It's been an interesting experience and, while stressful, i think it has been a good shake up and has led to more autonomy and engagement in my career as i had been somewhat drifting. i also feel the trust of my colleagues on my latest project, who offered me a job over other options. it's pressure but it's also a vote of confidence.

I went on an airplane for the first time in over 5 years. I was so scared ahead of time but I did it and everything went fine! I actually flew on 6 separate flights this year and I still have 2 more before the year is over. So making up for lost time. I'm glad to know that I am brave enough to do it (and not cry) because it opens up so much more of the world to me.

I learned to drive and got my driver's license! I feel very relieved to have this skill and permission finally (at the age of 33) but also resentful that it's such a necessary skill in this country.

I traveled to Brasil for a month between work and vacation. I am very grayeful for the people i met at work and also on vacation. Especially Leonardo and Jhonatas . On vacation the guys from the surf camp in Floripa, Daniel (Ana’s brother) and of course Virgilio, my parents neighbour in Angola. Also meeting Gisele and her family in São Paulo was very nice. I want to do this often! I was very quell treated by people.

Diggy dying. It was the first time I experienced true grief (longing, sorrow, and with time, acceptance) and fully understood that grief is the price to pay for loving deeply. I felt connected to a larger process and community of others who have experienced the profound human emotion of grief.

This whole year has been about October 7, 2023. I've been heartbroken, upset, angry, sad, alone.

My sister's first child was born. Due to my mother having COVID at the time, I was able to be in the room to share my own personal experiences with her, and watch and support as my first nephew was born. Birth is miraculous. Women are powerful. May my nephew only have good things in his world.

Went in a small group trek through Japan, for the first time in my life,I decided not to identify as a Jew. I felt sad that the war in Israel had changed my behaviour..That I found it easier to try and be anonymous rather than who I really am.

A significant experience I’ve had in the past year is seeing the progress with one of my coaching clients J. Being able to have such positive impact on someone’s life has been amazing I am so grateful. I was so scared to start this business and experiences like this remind me how capable I really am.

October 7 was earth shattering. Just as we finished celebrating Simchat Torah with a full sanctuary and multi generation crowds, we woke up to the news from Israel. Over the following months, the details unfolded, and life since then has been unbelievable. Today as I write this, Israel is at war and it is a really frightening place to be on Rosh Hashanah. I pray that everyone is safe and that no one causes more unnecessary harm. It is such an emotional time and so many innocent lives have been taken. It’s really hard to comprehend the horrible history that’s being made right now.

My son is going through a divorce and in reaction to that he had a mental breakdown. I was really worried about him, but the help he got as a result made a big difference for him. So now that things have settled down and are moving in the right direction, I'm relieved and grateful. It has also made us a lot closer.

Left my job after 13 years. Thought I’d stay at the company for another 5-10years and could have stayed but decided to take a good settlement to leave. I was very wracked with doubt about the financial risk I would be taking. I am incredibly grateful to have found a position quickly which was paid even more and has given me a much better work life balance as well as a good platform to think about what next

Without a doubt, it would be having my daughter Matilda in February. The postpartum days were some of the most challenging circumstances I have been through, and this past year has been unbelievably rewarding and difficult to navigate as a new parent. I am grateful, appreciative, reflective, excited, and nostalgic.

I went on my first international trip since before the pandemic. Although I had been longing to travel again and anticipated the trip with great excitement, I was also nervous, given how much things had changed since my previous travels. Unfortunately, the trip was disappointing in many ways. However, I feel like I have my travel mojo back now, and I look forward to future travel opportunities, including ones that are spontaneous and don’t entail extensive planning. I learned a lot about what I don’t like, and that will enable me to shape future trips to be more satisfying.

I gave up homeschooling my daughter this fall. Well, sort of. I enrolled her in an online, accredited (for what that's worth) private high school instead of putting all pieces together myself. Ninth grade taught me that I had reached the end of my competence to provide her with an adequate education that will give her the most options and reiterated to her that she wants and needs to be out of my back pocket. Like with starting homeschooling, finding a hybrid school for support, and finding individual classes and tutors to fill all the gaps, changing to a “real” school is taking a leap of faith that they can deliver what they promise. We both desperately need the change. So I am stepping back from being principal/guidance counselor/teacher/homework cop/lunch lady/bus driver to "just" the time management coach/lunch lady/chauffeur. The adjustment to all the new is rough, so far. Change is so hard for my daughter, but I feel pretty confident (most of the time) that she will find her rhythm and settle herself into her "new normal" in the coming months. So many emotions tied to this, many of which I have to process very privately to not influence or burden my daughter with them. The biggest feeling is possibility: of soon being able to step back into being primarily my daughter’s mother and of finding the time and space to begin rebuilding myself as a functioning adult instead of this fraudulent trad-wife persona I've inhabited out of necessity for the last seven or eight years. This first month has been rough, but maybe, just maybe, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel: greater independence and self determination (for both of us).

This was more of a year where things didn't happen: Didn't retire, didn't move, didn't become a grandparent, didn't gain any new skills. I am a little baffled by this inertia, maybe related to having contracted Covid last summer and never quite regaining my strength. Mostly, feeling older this year.

Last year I got the first part of my SARPE surgery done right around Christmas, and spent a good amount of time recovering from it. I also had my RPE device in for a bunch of months that already feels like the distant past. It was annoying but bearable thanks for kind folks esp. Marina, and I'm hoping this year's second half of the surgery goes just as well. (In fact, the MIST surgery is tomorrow...)

My dad's hospitalization on May 24th was a big surprise and stepping into being his patient advocate. I am continuing to learn about myself as I walk with him in his health issues. I went with him to every doctor's appointment after he was discharged and helped him understand what was being said. It was a lovely stepping into something I'm really good at.

I attended the advanced mahumudra retreat— and I am grateful for the opportunity to experience awakened awareness and gratitude for no reason at all

My youngest child just headed off to college, leaving me with an empty nest. I am blissful these days, living on my own for the first time after having successfully launched all three children. The eldest moved to a new city, the middle moved to an apartment for the first time, and now the youngest is gone. And I get to explore single living. I am content.

My daughter's beloved dog Albert died in March and it broke her heart and it breaks my heart. Though he was a big dog, Albert was one of the healthiest dogs I have ever seen, but cancer felled him a few months after his 11th birthday. Though deeply saddened by this loss, I was slightly buoyed by the fact that Albert passed on his own and he did not require my daughter to deliver the final blow. He was the essence of goodness to the end and I am also uplifted by how my daughter has handled what we felt was his too soon death. He was a magnificent creature and he will live in my heart forever.

I finished the NY Empire Trail. I think it is about 750 miles in total. I didn't do it all at once but am surprised I did it.

Our car crash. We survived the car being totaled without even a scratch. As a result I now believe in modern miracles and angels. I am extremely grateful and note this daily.

This was a less dramatic year, personally, but thinking back on the year, three events stand out: Hamas’ attack on Israel, but not for the obvious reasons. I find myself siding with the Israeli civilians and the horrors they are facing, but I cannot accept the government’s position. And so, we cannot discuss the events with our kids who are “all Israel, all the time”. I was called in to teach in February. And loved it. I am reminded how important teaching is to my well being, and also, just how good I am at it! Finally, seeing Greenland and ice packs. I am reminded that my place in the grand scheme of things is small. The world is an awe inspiring place and worthy of worship. My strength and actions relate to godliness.

Significant experience: The Hamas invasion of Israel, and the Israeli genocidal, mass displacement campaigns in return in Gaza and Lebanon. It has filled me with grief, anger, awareness, and resolve. I am not grateful. I am horrified. I am deadened and awakened.

My sister, my forever little sister, younger sister lives with Parkinson's. Dreadful disease, she was diagnosed over 10 years ago. To know her is to love her, to know her is to be offended by her, to know her is to be tickled by her. Londi's speedy retorts are like arrows that quickly, steadily and accurately reach their target. She speaks her truth, even when others disagree. She hides not, never flinches, never dodges. Her quick, witty responses in everyday conversations provoke invisible hands that tickle your belly and cause your sides to hurt from the words that escape her lips. This is my sister my first love. My forever friend. We are like night and day and yet we both share this enormous understanding, acceptance of one another. Not always in agreement but always standing together. We belong to one another. I have never felt that kind of acceptance. She makes me laugh, cry, shake my head and scream. She breaks my heart and puts it back together again. Anger along with a deep sadness filled my soul this year, anger towards her disease, her Drs, her children and my other siblings. I have been unable to grasp, comprehend, find a resolution to the indifference she experienced and experiences still. Her Dr. knew that the battery to her Deep Brain Stimulator (DBS) was due to be changed. This battery allows her to have the best quality of life available to her. The battery died and with it began, facial contortions, limbs in constant movement, her right foot squirming. Writhing in pain. No rest for her muscles. The battery died and her uncontrollable movements turned on. I felt bad for her, for my mom, myself. It is difficult to witness a loved one's struggle. The guilt I felt for not being able to be more helpful, for my inability to solve, fix, relieve her circumstance. The audacity to feel bad for me because her life had become so desperate. Several phone calls, battling with medical offices, traveling to and from San Angelo for surgery and countless interactions with others seeking help for my Londi, finally the battery was replaced. After staying to help for nearly 2 months, I returned home. I stayed to myself. I felt as though all the joy had been taken from me. I too suffered the trauma of her disease and the guilt for feeling saddened by it. She is the one living with this disease and I too was affected by it. I felt wounded, wounded because of my love for her. Wounded because I don't have a cure, the key, the answer. I do have the answer, I love her with or without Parkinson's. She is my little sister.

October 7th. I am stunned at the cataract of antisemitism. I am surprised at friends repeating foolish things. I am fuming at palestine flags in demonstrations about anything. My answer is to show more my judaism.

It's a kinda weird answer but I started menopause and my symptoms were completely unexpected. You always hear about hot flashes and those aren't so bad, but WOW the terrible joint pain all of a sudden. I was hobbling around in a matter of a few months and in so much pain. I had a lot of injuries happening and the brain fog was pretty bad too. I feel like I caused an accident that happened with my husband and me, unloading a motorcycle from the truck bed. I'm still upset about that happening. I looked online for any help and found out that my severe joint pain was because I wasn't producing enough estrogen. Who knew? I practically had to beg my (female) doctor to take hormone replacement. I think that this is an issue that no one talks about and it took me by surprise. I am much better now, after several months of the hrt pills. Very thankful for this help and I am grateful every day at seeing my progress to better physical (and mental) health.

I experienced the first year of difficult firsts since my dad died. The new year proved to be the most difficult, which I found surprising yet not so surprising. 2024 is the first year my dad will not see.

I married the love of my life. We made decisions that were best for us by eloping to Portugal. I am so grateful we decided to plan an experience that put us first. During our elopement I felt very loved and cared for and happy. I think that experience kicked off a great start to our marriage and we will always look back on it fondly. We prioritized ourselves and our happiness over a traditional wedding.

We (my husband and I) went to Israel for 3 weeks to volunteer in various ways. I felt that I had to do something and I needed to reconnect to Israel as well as to family and friends there. It was a very meaningful trip and accomplished much of what I needed to do. I am so grateful that we were able to do it, but it has added to the complexity of my feelings about the role of Israel in my identity and psyche.

stopping at the corner to catch my breath and trying to ground myself in the moment, thinking this is the last time in my life before i will have met him. crisp light, warm wind, 7pm. then walking around the corner.

I divorced my husband after being together for 20 years. I said we began with love and the divorce would end with love. He said I broke his heart and mine is quite shaken up as well. However, I'm so relieved I had the courage to make my "third act" different and one filled with more joy and happy times. We still are on very good speaking terms. During the divorce waiting period he asked me to remarry him, but I explained that ship had sailed. He just called me on what would have been our wedding anniversary to tell me, "I will always love you." And I replied the same. This meant selling the beautiful home we shared and moving into a small apt. However, that has opened up many new opportunities for me to have fun with the "ladies in my dorm" since I had been very lonely for so many years. I'm so grateful I received a clean bill of health after being told last year they thought I may have had cancer. This year the doctor said it appeared as if it was "inflammation," and I replied that I had divorced the inflammation. I'm inspired, hopeful, and a bit anxious as to what the future holds for me, since I would love to be married again and share my life with a man who is willing to make time spent with me a priority.

My dad was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor in March. We went to Mayo clinic for treatment to slow it down. That treatment gave us a little more time. He lived 6 months instead of just the weeks that the original doctors predicted. We had a little more precious time together. It was one more chance that we had to let him know how much we love him. It was also extra time that we had to help him get things in order.

My son got married . It was a big adventure for me to go to Italy but everything went well. Good thing that there was LM with me. I’m relieved that he has someone who loves him and looks after him. I am sorry that I can’t see him more often but I am happy that he is following his path.

I am resentful and grateful to be left alone. Inspired

I went on a trip to Israel in July and it reignited a spark inside me that I thought had been lost. The Jewish people of Israel are resilient in a way that I have only dreamed about. It gave me hope that I could change the course of my life to be something that’s worth getting out of bed every morning for. 2 weeks later I quit my job and decided to return to Israel, I can’t tell you how the story ends yet but I’m excited for this journey. Which is something I haven’t been able to say in years.

Going up to the Northwoods of Wisconsin with my friends Jake and Brendan was a particularly impactful journey. It was a reminder for me that I am capable of crafting a person that I want to be, and that I can be proud of, while at the same time capable of making mistakes. It was a cementation of spiritual beliefs, and a time to learn new ones. For an example of those spiritual ideas, see question 4 ;)

AJ was born. It moved me to see my daughter as a mom. Grateful for his health awe struck with how it changes my perspective. Bike mercy/beast: opened up biking. Recorded half my songs : chicken and peas. Gave my a sense of gratitude and accomplishment.

My husband wanted my permission to sleep with other people outside of our marriage and it made me feel worthless, broken, ugly, and like I don't matter at all.

Notwithstanding that my son gets married in 3 days (so it doesn’t count), the most significant event of the past year has been the death of my brother in law, John. He died September 14th after a long battle with prostate cancer/neuroendocrine tumor. We spent a lot of time with him at the end in Ketchum. John was the warmest, kindest I had ever seen during those last few weeks and I grew to love him very much. And while I am so relieved and grateful that he is no longer suffering, I am very sad for his siblings, Rob and Liz. They were a very close family and my heart hurts for both of them. One of the blessings was that we got to know his daughter, Tina, better. She is an amazing person and really took care of her father. While I am personally sad to lose John, it is also a recurring that life is short and I am in the last third of my life. I have a new appreciation for living life to the fullest. There isn’t a second to waste.

I had surgery and was told I had stage one colon cancer. This was sobering. I am grateful that it was caught early. It made me realize that my life is short and I should not let a day go by without loving each minute and fulfilling my dreams.

Probably that I kickstarted for my second album and was fully funded. It was an incredibly intense month which started on my 40th birthday. I didn't realize how much work it was going to be to try and raise $25,000. I know that sounds a little foolish and in hindsight I would've done a lot of things differently. As it stands I have a big chunk of change minus fees to record my album. Like I said it was really hard doing all of the crowd fundraising. There were people who I thought were going to give more who gave less, people I wasn't expecting who gave a lot, people who I thought were going to support me who didn't even really acknowledge what I was doing. I think that's the thing that hurt the most was this fear of people not caring and then being shown a very small minority of people who don't care, or at least that's what it felt like. I'm thinking about my old landlord who really has loved my music, who I have given my music very freely to, and was met with unacknowledgement. It was really hard to feel the gratitude that I had for all the people who were loving and who were supporting because the people who weren't really eclipsed the process. I recognize that shadow territory for me to munch on. It was only until I really started letting myself feel the shadow that this process brought up that I could actually also connect to my gratitude in a deeper way. I'm really excited about making the album, I know it's going to be a big focus this year. My work is learning how to create some thing that I want and not making it for other people to like.

I don’t want it to define me, but my troubles at work are is the most significant experience that has happened to me this year. I have never run into difficulty quite like this before. It was all very very painful - but I also learned that I am far stronger than I think, and the world is full of possibilities I didn’t yet see. So, yeah.

I finally broke free from an emotional affair after almost a year of being in denial. As a result, I became open to having a real relationship with an available partner. I started dating someone in April and have experienced tremendous personal growth as a result of this partnership. I also started my own pet care business as a new venture toward earned income. Through all of this, I have discovered the value of my self-worth and can now easily set prices for my artwork, pet care services, natal chart readings and project work.

My show in Berlin. Never expected such an honor. Really proud of this. Wondering if it will change my life in any way. Very inspired to continue producing my art

L turning 1. I am beyond grateful. Raising him and watching him grow before my eyes has been the greatest gift of my life thus far. He is truly such a light and radiates joy wherever he goes. There is nothing I love more than falling asleep next to him every night and waking up to him each morning. He has accomplished so much over the past year and I cannot wait to watch him grow over this 2024-2025 calendar year. He can and will accomplish anything he puts his mind to and I cannot wait to support him in any and all his endeavors.

I learned to swim, at the age of 58, just by watching YouTube videos and practising on my own. It wasn't something I'd always wanted to do, but a fairly recent decision. When I began, I was only thinking of learning the crawl, but after a very short period of time in which I went to the pool for an hour or two three or four days a week and binge-watched swimming channels before bed, I started doing backstroke and breaststroke too. And then I started learning how to do dolphin kicks. And then I started learning flip turns. I honestly didn't think, starting out, that I'd ever be able to do any of these things, and yet here I am doing them and I'm keen to keep improving my technique! This has taught me that I can, in approximately 6 months to a year, learn a new skill to a decent level of competence, IF I am just consistent with my practice. Consistency is the key. I'm now on a mission to apply this key to music, singing, art and software learning - all things I've wanted to do for decades - safe in the knowledge that I can make fast progress.

I retired (a little early at 59). It's been complicated but positive. I'm relieved not to have to deal with that old job anymore. I'm excited to have taken on a lot of new projects and also some paid work. But I'm a little frustrated that I still lack sufficient time to get everything done that I dream about doing. I have to remember I don't have to do it all at once, nor even do everything every month. It's hard for me to keep that in my mind, though. It's only been three months, so I'm still going through a lot of adjustment and change.

I've spent most of the summer fixing up an apartment for my mom in assisted living, moving her there, and getting everything out of her house so we can rent it out. It's been a lot of work, and very intense. She got rid of a ton of stuff when she moved from her original house that she had lived in for 42 years so that was helpful, but of course she still accumulated a lot of stuff. I ended up inheriting a great deal of things - some beautiful house plants, for instance, and family photos. I'm still trying to integrate them all into my house. I have very mixed feelings about this. She was pretty resistant to moving, but it seemed like it was the best course of action. I wanted to make sure she was safe, but she doesn't need help all the time, and my other reason was that I wanted her to move and get used to the building she lives in before she loses more of her memory (she has dementia). I feel a bit guilty about some of the stuff I threw out that she was asking for, though I don't know if she would use it going forward. And it's super sad to be losing my mother bit by bit, day by day. I'm grateful that I've had the time and the financial resources to be there for her, and to be able to take the time to do this, but I feel like I've spent so much time grieving this year about my mother disappearing.

I finally got engaged! It still doesn't feel real to say this. I spent so much of my adult-life alone and wishing to have a partner and reached the point where I really didn't think it would ever happen. And perhaps to some degree I'd made peace with that - and then it happened. It is a bit bittersweet as I would never have met my fiance without the pandemic. But I feel incredibly lucky to have found him and am so glad that I waited for the right person for me.

turning 60 in a few weeks, and I'm helping my parents into assisted care - Mara died - I am feeling old, not terrible, just old, happy to have reached "old"

My Exchange year in Ireland.I’m grateful for my parents that made all the sacrifices to send me studying abroad.It was such a useful experience for a personal growth and the learning.

After a year and a half of pain, loss of muscle strength in my legs, and after finally seeing a doctor , there was a 3 and a half month wait until I finally had back surgery for four herniated discs. I didn’t pay anything in the public Greek hospital. One week after, I drove my car to the pharmacy . After a few weeks I had my leg strength back! I was so happy. Then suddenly, after 3 months my back was again struck with excruciating pain!!! I am so so stressed with the thought of another surgery!

Marlowe became a toddler, who walks, talks, sleeps through the night, and is outrageously herself. I am not only relieved and grateful and inspired, I am joyous everyday. Often tired. Always so excited to see her and get to discover who she is, more and more.

Have learned to maintain good cheer while being unemployed. For 13 months. It’s required positivity and wariness.

June 22. I took my husband to the emergency room again, but for the last time. I am forever changed.

moved into assisted living. Nancy needs it and I am caregiver. It's OK

October 7th as my phone was beeping over and over again because of the horror of the Hamas attack in Israel. In many ways it felt like 9/11 being so scared of what was coming next. In many ways it feels like for the almost 12 months we have not got past October 7th.

Allison’s health continues to be an issue. I’m not resentful, I am concerned and hopeful for a resumption of her normal life. My health is recently coming to question with back and shoulder and arm pain. It may be arthritis. And I don’t know how to proceed. I am not relieved. I am resentful and angry. My work situation changed for the better recently with a transferred to the arraignment court. And I am very grateful for that.

The (jewish) world has changed. Oct 7 changed my relationship with Israel so fundamentally that it's difficult to describe. But overall, I am deeply grateful for the excuse to re-connect with Israel. Zionism has always been my primary connection to Judaism, and I've found the world since Oct 7 pushing me to be more overtly Jewish, and more engaged in the community as a Jew. I would never have accepted a role on a Jewish communal institution, but I have now. I would never have posted about my connection to Israel, but I have now. Oct 7 has shaped so much from my deep emotions to my family connections - I can only be grateful for the excuse to reconnect. Just wish it was 'b simchas' rather than as a defensive response to the world hating us - once again.

Joe Biden dropping out of the presidential reigns and Kamala Harris accepting the nomination. It gave me some hope and excitement for the 2024 election. It was nice to feel a little better about the future of our country, if only for a few short weeks.

Waking up on my 49th birthday to 10/7/24 has been a significant experience. It has turned the world upside down and made exponentially clearer who my community and closest friends are. It clarified for me so much about my desire to live in Seattle and then learning about Dennis not actually being sober felt like permission to be more autonomous in where and how I live my life. I am grateful for therapy, for being a parent and doing less/no more parenting. And this last year has been brutal with/for Asher and Emmit. Seeing the impact on 10/7 on their college decisions, experience and sense of belonging. As I write, I am sitting in RBZ’s backyard and Asher is nearby at Montare where my prayers are focused. Marci just picked Emmit up in Boston for RH and Dennis just sent me a mountain emoji and plans on zooming services. This is our first High Holidays where none of us are together. I think we are all where we want/need to be. I am grateful and relieved to be sitting where I am because I am not taking care of anyone and able to focus on my own heart going into RH at sundown.

The violence that intensified starting last Oct 7th has been impactful. The global attention to something that has been a part of life forever exacerbating every bit of it. I've cried most every day for all the loss and destruction. I don't think we are meant to see so much violence....I've myself been at a loss with how to be, what to be. My culture and a large part of my identify feels as if they have been hijacked. I truly cannot understand how any Jewish person, with any knowledge of the faith, can say another should die. Each act of aggression is counter to the core of Judaism. We were 'chosen' to be better, to endure the suffering without losing humanity. This past year is utter failure. I resent all governments complicit is all wars, but yes this is personal to me. I wish for an end to the violence and a path to peace to be found, and remain grateful for what is.

Found out I will become a grandparent. More scared than excited.

Through a series of events I realized I will need to leave the company where I've been working for almost 19 years because the person who's supposed to be the next president is making the work environment so miserable for me. I'm frustrated that the current president is allowing this to go on so long, and that he's not taking effective action despite me telling him that I'm working on an exit strategy from the company.

Hamas attack on October 7, 2023. Gaza war, hezbolla, houthis, Iran missile attacks. How it affected me? Fear, defiance, hope.

We paid off our mortgage in November 2023. That means we no longer have a house payment. We also don't have a car payment or any other debts. Over the past 11 months, we've been saving a ton, because our expenses didn't otherwise change. In practice, this hasn't affected our day-to-day much. However, now that the dust has cleared, we are starting to talk about financial goals, and how to get on track for those goals, so that we're not making/saving money for the sake of it; but rather for the purpose of using it in a way that aligns to our values and lifestyle choices. I feel relieved and a little inspired about the possibilities to come.

Team Haviland is on an extended road trip. I am happy for them but am genuinely sad for Beth and me. Our relationship with the grandkids will be forever changed.

Moving into a single-level home that was barrier-free! Being able to move around in my own house! Doing simple things like laundry in peace. It's done so much for my mental health and for that of my partner's. I was very depressed while moving because it stirred up so much about being a kid who moved all the time and was sad to take my spouse away from their first home, but I am/we are so much the better for it on this side of things.

I am engaged to the love of my life. After not having spoken for about 11 years, getting engaged was a huge leap of faith. When I read this next year, I will be a Mrs. I have loved this man since fall 2007, and I am beyond thrilled that we have reconnected, that we quickly reestablished our friendship and that we continue to grow closer all the time. Life changes have been significant, for sure. (A new position as a salesperson, a new car, long-distance running.) A friend said to me, “You didn’t just make some life changes. You took everything, tossed it in a blender and set it to the highest speed.” She’s not wrong. LOL The year has been an emotional rollercoaster, but immense love and happiness top all other emotions.

Alnost too many to name: Luke going to uni. Expected but still so strange. Jack moving to Tim’s. Unexpected and compounded the empty nest loneliness. Sasha and I generally doing well together. Getting her mental health assessment done and feeling hurt and understood was a significant thing this year. She has been almost 3 weeks on hers and is turning a corner for sure. As was Luke’s assessment and diagnosis with ADHD. Illuminating, I would describe it. A growing feeling of being a misfit. Hopefully this will pass. I feel at home in the meeting and at work. But in many other scenarios - particularly mixing with others, I just don’t know how to fit. My family doesn’t really want to do the things I like to do - so I do them alone or not at all. We Oh don’t really get invited places as a family much And to add to the litany of complaints, Tim hasn’t spoken to me voluntarily in almost 3 months - after 6 months of pretty good collaboration and I would say almost friendship. The silent treatment started again around the time of our departing for a week in France. He told Luke It hit him particularly hard When I sent a photo of Luke and Jack parasailing, when he was in the bathroom with grandad helping him with personal care. Anyway, that’s all I know at the moment. I suspect he is drawing away/has drawn away to allow for a new relationship, but I’m not sure. It’s surprising how much it all hurts. I am a slow learner. Yet it’s important to me to forgive and forget. I just need to figure out how not to be a doormat. I’m dictating this on my phone as I walk across to the long-term car park at Belfast city Airport. On my way home from my finance course at National Office. Cancelled a day trip last week because things weren’t stable enough with Sasha at home, but today it seemed in order to come ahead and do the trip, and now I’m on my way home to Sasha at 8:30 pm. Bronwen took her to Skating this afternoon, so she’s only been alone for two hours. OK, seal it up. I’ll probably be cross at this next year but it’s how I’m feeling at the moment and how I’ve been feeling for a few weeks actually.

My younger daughter is pregnant. I am delighted and hope to be more involved with the little one than I was able to be with my other two grandchildren.

One year ago today I defended my PhD. I think it inspired me to have managed to do so despite my tremendous health issues. Looking back at the photos I feel both relieved to be done and very deeply proud.

In early November I was struggling. I didn't have a lot of friends that I felt I could rely on. I felt lost and alone. It took time but I now finally have stable friends who I love at school. I think I needed to go through that to 1. teach me how hard it can be to make friends and 2. appreciate the friends I have now. I now want to share my story with others, especially freshman, who may feel lost. I was never someone to struggle with friends and so this was a very challenging thing for me. My advice to my old self would be to keep pushing through. Because it will come.

This was the perfect question for me to start with. My partner passed away after a long illness this year. We had been together for almost 40 years. Even so, our marriage was not an easy one and before he got sick, I had thought about leaving him. Seriously thought about it. Instead I spent 3 1/2 years taking care of him and it was excruciating. ALS is a terrible, terrible disease, especially because there’s no cure, no hope of remission. You know absolutely what’s coming and what’s coming is awful. So, when he died, more than anything else I felt relieved. Because of the grief that I had been immersed in for so long. And watching my kids be immersed in it and our friends and other family members. So as sad as I feel about him having to leave us in that way, there’s a part of me that feels joy in the new year ahead and possibility about what could happen in my life going forward. It’s the first time in a very long time that I have felt happy.

I crossed a major item off my bucket list: I ran a half-marathon back in June. This event left me grateful and inspired, feeling that I can indeed do hard things and accomplish anything that I commit myself to. I’ll remind myself of that feeling anytime I feel overwhelmed in grad school.

I turned 40 alone in the desert and while I was resentful about my boyfriend needlessly picking a fight and storming out, I was grateful and a bit inspired to ultimately cross this threshold solo and create my own narrative about it. Still haven't decided what to do about the bitchy boyfriend tho....

I lost two of my patients to fentanyl poisoning. They were both young, queer Hispanics. Both were accidental overdoses. The first person was only 19 and was struggling with anxiety and depression. She most likely took a pill she thought was Xanax bought from a drug dealer. The second patient was in his 30's and had a long history of substance abuse- mainly alcohol. His death was shocking as well, but slightly less as he had been in and out of service where I worked for many years. Before his death, he had just dropped out of our substance abuse program and I was concerned that he might not make it. Their deaths made so many things I know are "issues" much more real to me- the stigma of mental health and homosexuality in the Hispanic community, the lack of rural mental health services, and the seriousness of the fentanyl epidemic in this country. Both of these young people felt misunderstood and unsupported at home and misused substances because their mental anguish was so overwhelming. I aimed to start an MSW program and then skedaddle out of my backward home state, but I feel inspired to stay, and much of that is due to the impact these two young people had on my life. I have now started my program and would like to focus part of my practice on that population. Their lives mattered to me, and I hope somehow they know that.

So much of this past year is a blur, yet I know there were many significant experiences. Probably the most noteworthy was my depression. I've never suffered from it before - I was dissociated, distant, overwhelmed all of the time, and exhausted. I'm finally coming out of it - a large part of it was because I didn't feel that I could reach out for help, because everyone around me was drowning and what was in front of me was so necessary. But now that I'm crawling (whimpering) out the other side, I find myself filled with gratitude for Laure, who saw it before I did; I'm grateful for Bobby, who is doing what he can now that he's no longer drowning; I'm grateful for my friends who have made an effort - even if the effort was just to raise their own white flag and go "same;' I'm filled with relief, filled with compassion, restored for how meaningful is my work. I am desperate to protect myself from having it ever happen again. It sucked.

My best friend was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It really turned my world upside down and made me realize once again how fragile this life is. It made me feel sad, worried, and at the same time grateful to have this amazing person in my life.

My son and what we though was his lifeline ng companion separated. Reminded me that heartache comes in many forms at any moment. It is benevolent and survivable. It will leave a mark

Coming really close to losing our home. I'm grateful we didn't, but also still incredibly stressed out about it. Financially, we're only a little better off than last year. Grateful for the improvements and relieved, but also still anxious about the future.

This year I broke my leg in January. I had to move my trip to Sri Lanka by a month. Instead of having some time alone at the beginning of my trip, I had time at the end of my trip. If it hadn’t been for me breaking my leg, I would have never met Asanka for the time that I had while I was alone. That was pretty significant in my life because it allowed me to see what life can be like a lovely person in your life. I also realise that I love Sri Lanka and I want to live there with or without him. I’m grateful for my family and world supporting me and my move and also allowing me to play with the idea that I might come back if I don’t like it. I realise that the few people that I love I want to spend time with before I leave next year in April. I’m Also very grateful for the experience of work with Martin and couples and family Therapy I feel like I’ve grown as a therapist because of it and I’m grateful for Martin being my teacher.

I got married! It sounds trite, but it was the most fantastic, happy day in my life. I am so grateful for my husband: we make a fantastic team. He believes in me so strongly and champions me at every opportunity. I hope I make him feel as cherished as he does me, and I hope I build him up and help him reach further as much as does to me. All the time I get to spend with him is the greatest blessing in my life.

My Nan passed away. Obviously incredibly sad but also annoyed at myself for not spending more time with her and other family members whilst I still had the chance. I haven’t changed this, despite feeling so deeply that I should. She had dementia and it felt like we had already lost her but that’s not true of other family members… I need to do more. Ps a ladybird landed right next to me when I was laying flooring the day my mum called me to say my nan was being moved to palliative care. Ladybirds have appeared at very random but pertinent moments since and I can’t help but think of her every time

A significant experience I've had since September of last year... Well, there have been a few but, the first one that comes to mind is visiting France for the first time. I went to Antibes to enjoy the revelry of the Canned Filmed festival. I really enjoy the south of France, the beach, the food, and being surrounded by French. I thought I didn't like French, which I had been forced to choose as my language in middle school. But, I don't dislike French, I just disliked that it didn't seem useful as I did know anyone that spoke French primarily or regularly, while I've known many Spanish speaking people throughout my life. I feel much more motivated to speak French and can't wait to visit France again. I used to think about doing an immersion course somewhere other than France but, now I think doing it in France is a great idea. I'm both grateful and inspired by the time I spent in France (though it was only a long weekend). I also feel like I had an epiphany in realizing that I didn't dislike the French language, I only desired to learn something that would open up the possibilities of communication for me.

I met my wife. She's helped improve my emotional intelligence and take a step forward to a life change experience. I'm grateful.

As much as I'm angry (?) to admit it, October 7th, 2023, has completely changed me and changed my relationship to my Jewish community. I never realized how privileged I had been for 40 years to feel so connected to my religious community and to feel like my personal values meshed completely with my (Reform) Jewish values. I am grateful for the little group of vigilantes I've connected with this year who act as a mirror for how I'm feeling. I am deeply saddened by the fact that I've completely lost respect for my clergy, and feel so disconnected from friends who seem so much more pro-Israel than I am. I am slightly confused by the depth of my reaction, my conviction in how I'm feeling. But maybe this is just proof that I'm finally really being true to myself, when I'm used to appeasing others. Maybe this is part of the necessary discomfort of growth.

Having had vacation time with my family and my brother-in-law’s family. Spending time 1:1 with each to learn more about them. I am so grateful for this time.

Dumped by a significant friend over a petty occurrence. I feel angry and hurt, I feel resentful that I apologized for something a true friend would've found annoying but not crucial. I am relieved to have found out that she is not a true friend and that she is judgmental of me. I am ashamed of being judgmental of her. I am inspired to be a better friend to those I hold or want to hold dear.

The first thing that pops into my head is October 7. It was devastating and even affected my health. I am not grateful or relieved, but I am resentful that even after all this time there is so much hate and antisemitism in the world.

My relationship with my sister completely blew up and I started therapy. I've gone through the gamut of emotions. Upset, forlorn, sad, angry...getting help, leaning on a loving and reliable parental figure, seeing progress. Am I grateful? I am never really grateful to be dragged kicking and screaming into character development. But this needed to be done and I look forward to it hopefully flowering and paying dividends in the following years.

The most significant experience of the last year was October 7th. It shook my world view that "everything will be alright." On a happier side- it also strengthened my connection to the Jewish community. Now almost a year out - I do think things will be alright - I am just not sure what that will look like.

This year was the most successful year for my theatre. We finally have crowds coming out, I'm very grateful for that. On a personal level health still isn't where I want it to be and it's getting frustrating.

My immediate answer would be the ectopic pregnancy I had this summer but I realize I did my last 10Q before I left my corporate job. I had to run an errand today in a building I used to work in and going back to the neighborhood, seeing everyone rushing around, seeing what stores have left and what stores have stayed, I just felt so relieved not having to be in that rat race anymore. Yes, I barely have any cash. It's been hard finding part time jobs that pay well and also aren't completely draining. But I also have freedom and sanity. I'm not gagging anymore. My husband has never seen me less stressed. And I'm well on my way to starting my own business. I resent the way I was treated at the end. I resent that I was being strung along with the promise of a full time job that just was never coming, no raise, being on a crummy insurance plan. And my heart wasn't even in the job. Maybe if we hadn't been so understaffed I would have had a better experience. I understand now when my manager would say, "You're really great at X and Y and if I could I'd just put you on that" was her saying that she knew I was still learning how to do other parts of the job and she couldn't provide me with the attention I needed but I was still doing very well. But I'm also just so happy to be out of the corporate world. I loved the routine, I loved the people, I hated the production calendar that was created without any regard for what capacity we as a company have. And it's the same everywhere. The ectopic pregnancy was hard. I wasn't totally sure if I wanted a baby at the moment anyway but I was already taking medicines, I was finally at baseline and able to take a hormone shot, and we did get pregnant! I felt that I was pregnant. I now realize that that was probably part of the ectopic pregnancy, feeling cramps and bloating in a very specific place, and then how amazing to know that I had a little life inside of me. But the numbers came back and they were lower than they should have been. The ultrasound confirmed it, the baby was not in the uterus. What followed was three weeks of hell, taking doses of chemo to poison the baby and pretty much everything else inside of me. The hormones. The spotting. And I was so angry at this living thing--not even human, but potentially a human--inside of me, trying to kill me without realizing it. Then cancelling the workout sessions and diet coaching that basically bankrupted me, canceling the fish subscription I would need for my diet. Gleefully eating raw tuna sushi within a few days of my first chemo dose. Telling everyone I was pregnant then telling them all that I was no longer pregnant. I don't miss the baby--I only knew I was pregnant for two weeks--and don't even think of it as a baby, but the emotional turmoil was tough. Hopefully we'll conceive by the end of the year and that will be a healthy pregnancy.

Finding out I’m autistic. I’m relieved, sad, excited, and etcetera.

My mom passed on 7 March 2024, after a super-short illness that was more serious than she let on (and also, didn't want to realize) while she was alive. I was and am being affected in all the ways: sad to lose her, of course. But also: sad that she didn't have more fun/ that the last years of her life were fraught with health & financial issues. Also: I resent that she was so stubborn and didn't let me help her before she got in the position she was in. Also: grateful that her suffering (at least related to the undetected cancer that ended up killing her) was relatively short. Actually, I do feel some anger about how it all went down. She was so funny and such a good person– she deserved better– she deserved to live better, and also, deserved to die better, too. I try to take solace in that she lived how she wanted to live, but I find it difficult.

The passing of my friend Tal was huge and it did make me sad, it made my outlook a little more bleak and I feel lonelier not having him in my life. I've often felt like a mistake and I shouldn't be alive but he never saw me the way I see myself and his no longer being with us left one of the few positive voices in my life silent.

The most significant thing that happened this past year was the death of my mother. It happened right around the time of October 7th with all of that in the backdrop. It was an emotionally draining experience, but one that I believe I approached with great maturity and empathy. I believe I was a source of comfort to my mother in her final weeks, and I am grateful that I could do that as I often felt so helpless about my mother's care and her state in her final years. On some level I was also relieved for her, as I felt she wasn't living much of a life given her lack of mobility and her other health problems. Sometimes I feel guilty feeling this way, but I cannot help it. It is an honest feeling.

October 7th changed me. I feel more connected to Israel and being Jewish, and less connected to some of my nonJewish friends. it's like the earth split and left some of us on one side, others on the other side, and those directly affected, like the M's, deep in the darkness of the abyss. I feel both more pride in my Judaism, and more alienation and 'otherness'. And a sense of uncertainty, trying to walk that balance between hope and despair. It's been a hard year.

Finishing my program felt more like a whimper than a big deal. E doing college applications was surprisingly smooth? Him being away for the summer was a poignant taste of things to come I suppose.

We bought a dream home in Mexico! It's in San Pancho, our Casa Mezcalito. We were planning to move there for this academic year, but we listened closely to our instincts. We see now how much we love our life here. Our children adore their school that's two blocks away. Gabriel and I both love our jobs. We get to travel SO much. In the past 12 months, I've visited Mexico 3 times, Puerto Rico twice, New York 3 times, Philly, California, Portugal, Steamboat, Granby and more. What a beautiful life! And now we have a second home in a place we love.

On Friday, 9/27/2024, Hurricane Helene flooded Erwin, TN. Nothing and no one here will ever be the same.

I have 3: My relationship with my girlfriend has deepened. My dancing has improved. I keep the books as a volunteer for a non-profit and I've gotten much better at QuickBooks. I am inspired by these things but I don't want to overdo it.

I got the opportunity to take a trip to NYC. I had never been there, so I jumped at it, AND it was a singing opportunity, to be part of a "pay to sing" event at Carnegie Hall with the TCC choir, led by our choral director (who also happens to be an industry-known early music expert). I knew that this would be a lot of work for me, as I'd be a de facto chaperone (yes, community college students are often adults, but not all ARE adults, and sometimes the range is even harder than just working with one age-group). I knew this would probably be a trip of a lifetime . . . and it was! Though I have recently been to big or notable cities like Rome, Florence, Paris, and Lisbon, NYC somehow made itself my favorite place ever. I can imagine going back there for a couple of weeks . . . so impossible to explore every corner, and yet I want to. I only made it around midtown, basically, a little into Hells Kitchen for amazing Vietnamese food, a little east, just to Bryant park, library, and an off-Broadway "Drunk Shakespeare" show on my own. When I watch any TV show or movie set in NY, I can now contextualize from the ground--I get the grid and can place things. This could have been just rehearsals and concert, but our leader made this a real NY experience: central park, wandering Time's Square, MOMA and the MET, library tour, grand central, morgan library, a subway experience, fun food, Broadway show (the Wiz), and a cruise in the harbor. John and I were in charge of the logistics both coming and going, which was some of the most challenging moments of my life (16 different personalities, everyone including me new to the city, trying to navigate public transportation when I'm wary of trying to take a train from Seattle to Tacoma). I took total charge of the "getting back" part and got that group to JFK from Manhattan in one piece. I know to others this may seem small potatoes, but in the scope of my life, these are exactly the kinds of things I've desperately avoided. This is why I took my kids to Italy, to jump kick them in case they took after me too much (they didn't, really), to de-mystify travel (I'm sure I'll talk about this later, but my younger spent the summer in Europe!). I love that I can actually bring up the smell of NY in my memory nose . . . I love it. Loved it.

The unfair and disrespectful conditions my wife is forced to work under has greatly affected me, leaving me resentful, frustrated, and upset that I can’t fix it for her.

My sister-in-law Rita came to us for hospice care for the last 11 days of her life. I am grateful, relieved, resentful, inspired, honored, privileged, burdened and so much more. It is no small thing to walk with another in the last days of her life.

I was with my mother when she passed. As painful as it is to lose her, it was clearly her choice, her time. I am glad I was there and I know she is at greater peace than she had been.

My mother in law passed away last year. She had 6 months between diagnosis and death. And I wonder if she knew how short she had, if she would have spent it in the way she did? Would she have traveled. Would she have ate whatever she wanted. Would she have read and moved around. Would she have wanted her kids close and her husband far. and it reminds me to live. no BS. no waiting around. Make my money and get out of the work rat race so I can do what I want. Travel. Read. Be Mobile. Eat yummy food. Spend time with my loved husband and friends. To LIVE.

This year has been a nightmare at work. I have a new manager that is exacerbating an already volatile work situation. I've had multiple panic attacks this year and its starting to effect my home life. I really want a change but I'm struggling to find something comparable. I'm grateful to have a job, but is it worth the cost of my health and relationships?

I was laid off. On one hand having a generous severance felt like a blessing but now 10 months later not having a job and no success job hunting has left me feeling defeated. The job market is horrible. I am so stressed about health insurance and money. I feel like a failure.

I started taking Country and West Coast Swing Dance lessons in Jan because of a guy I was dating. I lost the guy but kept the dancing. I really enjoy doing it and its good exercise.

I broke away from my kinda toxic middle school friend group this year with the start of high school. I am relieved that I don't go to high school with them and my mental health and confidence have both skyrocketed since then. I really am so happy that I have better and more supportive friends this year.

My father got remarried with two months' notice to a woman my siblings and I had known for nine months. That acted as a catalyst for the worst summer of my life. I was severely stressed to the point of temporarily debilitating migraines. I started fighting with my father for the first time. The only reason it stopped was because I refused to go to his house or interact with him. On the few occasions I had to spend with him it erupted into large fights that just kept building. He continuously acted as if nothing had happened, trying to keep up appearances. I attempted talking to him several times which only led me to the answer I had been dreading; my father did not love me because I'm too much like my mother. At the beginning of August, I left for an exchange year which made me even more anxious about the state of my family upon my return. My father was the one that brought me to the departure point, this was the first time I had had a conversation with him that lasted more than a minute in a month. It was pleasant but only because we pretended as if nothing had happened, that we had always been happy. I think it gave him a false sense of hope for the two of us. Now I don't know what to do. Just having turned 16 it feels weird not to talk to your dad on your birthday, but I refused to respond to his texts and blocked him. I feel I can't forgive him until he at least acknowledges what he did that hurt me, but for the time being I'm fatherless. It hurts, but he hurt me more. I know he wants to talk to me, and I know many that want me to suck it up to preserve our relationship. But at the same time, I've started having nightmares in which I lose all control of my life, and just thinking of the matter makes my eyes blurry. I truthfully don't know what to do.

10/7/23 was an experience that affected every Jew worldwide in ways we are still grappling with. The rise in Anti-Semitism still shocks me. In my role as Chair of my local Jewish Federation, I've had to come out of my comfort zone and become a periodic spokesperson for our community. It's made me more steadfast in my support of Israel and more comfortable speaking about my Judaism in general. One ancillary event which stands out was speaking out against an anti-Israel resolution at a city council meeting. It was one of the more uncomfortable things I've ever had to do, and I hated doing it, but it went well, and I felt better after. I was very relieved when it was over.

Felt a betrayal by a friend, inspired

I spoke with a doctor about how I've been feeling. Found out that it's anxiety and my brain isn't necessarily broken. At this point, I'm a couple months into being medicated and I feel like things are really turning around.

Hurricane Helene! So many feelings over the days before and after. First, disappointment that Lisa couldn’t come to LBK. Next, was relieved to find a hotel in Lakewood Ranch on Wednesday night. Exhilarated to do a 6 mile loop around Benderson Rowing Park. Relieved to go over Ringling Bridge at 4pm on Thursday and back to Sands Point at 4pm on Thursday. Things turned to scared quickly by 6:30pm as the inlet waves approached the building and the gulf was storming through our property in the gulf. Decided to leave and felt confused that Tom Muller planned to stay given the gulf was hitting his back door. I decided to leave, but could get out of driveway do to deep flooding. Pulled back in, resigned that I would be sleeping in the 3rd floor elevator bank. Shocked to see Tom’s huge pickup truck pull by. Waved him down and hopped in for a terrifying ride through severely flooded LBK and St Armand’s Circle. Miraculously, we made it through and was grateful to stay at Tom’s sister’s house in Lakewood Ranch that she moved into the day before. Next day was adventurous trying to get back on LBK island. No car access so we tried to buy a boat ride, but no luck. Tried again Saturday and were fortunate to get a friend to take us to LBK by boat. At Sands Point it was devastating to see 6 units, including Tom’s, completely flooded out. Again mixed emotions as my unit luckily only had some minor puddles. Spent the next few days inspired to help others clear, move, clean their places, and just be with our community. This experience will likely stay with me throughout my years. Hoping to find lessons that I can take away to be stronger and better able to handle adversity.

I have finally accepted that I am now elderly, so I'm making decisions based on what I can do on my own and what I need help with. I've been terribly bothered and sad knowing that if I try to do the "heavy lifting" with tasks- mowing the huge field, hauling bags of soil, etc. by myself, I'm going to get hurt. I want to save my energy for being creative.

Officiating at my step-daughter's wedding. I don't work as a rabbi, so I rarely do this kind of thing. It was such a powerful moment, both because it had taken quite a while for her to warm up to me initially, and also because actually it was a really good ceremony and I felt fully in my strength - in tune with the couple, with the families, with the teachings. A really reviving moment, and yes, I'm very grateful.

We moved to NYC. It has been a big change. In many ways it has been a blast and reinvigorating. At least my jokes are not stale anymore. And I like NYC and am not bothered by the people. It has been harder on Danna and I worry about that. I would not move and would retire to make things ok with her. I love her and want this to work more than any job. And she makes me very happy (when not frustrated). So a work in progress and excited

I went to Israel - my first time back since I went to cantorial school 18 years ago. I am so grateful I was able to go - it was a life-changing experience. I was so glad to show my support as a leader of the American/Houston Jewish community. And to be there with friends/teens from Emanu El and then with cantor friends was so special.

Well, I found a space where to share my emotions and thoughts. There were many people and I could feel less lonely. I’m very grateful with how things have played put. I guess life shapes around the way I’m thinking and I found and extreme connection with what i experience and what I feel inside.

I turned 80 this year and feel I have finally 'grown up.' So many issues I've wrestled with over the years have been mostly resolved in my mind. I am both grateful and relieved. The stress those issues caused me really got me down. But now, I feel good about who I am (finally!) and ready to take on the world. (But long distance traveling is a new issue I'm dealing with.)

So, there are a couple of things. Obviously, I really got to feel being Jewish this past year, when being Jewish wasn't so popular. I felt antisemitism, Jew hatred, and yeah, I got scared. I stopped going to Temple, I didn't feel safe. Ugh. But also, in the process of that, I had an adult bar mitzvah to combat that feeling of separation and fear - and it was wonderful. My people were there. So much love (and on my mama's 75th birthday too). Finally, and even though it had nothing to do with me, it still sucked and I think I've gotten to the other side of where I can and can't participate, but Tyler relapsing. It was bad and it stayed bad for a while and I cannot fix him or protect him or even make him love me. I think that I've let go of that heart loss, and that's really what it is, a heart loss. Our friendship is platonic. I rang the bell, once you ring the bell, you can't un-ring it, but I can step back from it. And, for now, perhaps that's a good idea.

Realised I am buying into other peoples psychodramas rather than being objective about them. This had been making me as miserable and grumpy as them. The realisation has made me feel lighter and more myself. There’s work to do but I’m on the way

I am absolutely still reeling from 10/7. I feel like it changed me irrevocably. I’m much more serious and introspective. It brought me closer to my faith and Israel but has changed my interfaith marriage and how I am raising my kid. It has focused me. I am grateful for the changes but wish it hadn’t come at such a heavy price.

This year, I voluntary chose to pursue an in-person out-patient intensive therapy program (IOP) with Rogers Behavioral Health. It was a life-changing experience that worked wonders, I wish I had done it years sooner to avoid the in-patient experience I talked about last year and other mental health struggles. Regardless, I am where I am now, and I am glad that I was receptive to it. I was able to do it between my internship and semester so I can just enjoy my senior year. I am incredibly grateful to Bell Jones, Matt Boyer, Char Kronick, and the entire Rogers teams.

I resigned from my job, I had worked there for over 25 years. I am extremely grateful and relieved to not have to deal with the stress of it anymore. I am enjoying the time I have at home.

I got married to the love of my life for the past seven years! We had a beautiful reform Jewish wedding surrounded by family and friends. I am filled with gratitude as I look back on the celebration because I got to share it with so many special people in my life.

This has been a strange year. It's a lot of blur, honestly. Not much stands out until I look close. Moved offices again. Some new friendships and acquaintanceships. Staffed up my team at work fully for the first time in years. Traveled again. Let myself get lured into the fun world of kpop. The most significant experience for me in the year is related to the latter. I've been into music for years, and I can point at the exact moment that happened. It's when I watched A Clockwork Orange for the first time, and I felt the music in my gut and I finally understood why people get so passionate about music. I've been in music fan spaces before, off and on for years. I've been to a lot of concerts, I've been to some concerts that transported me. But I went to the best concert of my life. I went to see Xdinary Heroes for their NYC showcase. It was my first time in NYC, it was a rare time of me going to a concert with a friend instead of by myself. It was the first time I'd made freebies to hand out before a show. (Which admittedly I mostly let my more extroverted friend handle.) And it was the best concert I have ever attended. The vibes were immaculate. I went to the My Chemical Romance reunion show in LA, the one they announced as a one-off before they announced their reunion tour. I've gone to three different anniversary shows for The Matches after they, one of my fave bands, broke up and two of those were hometown shows. I've been to Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco shows in small venues, I've been to a hometown show for Hanson. I've been front row (like, set my phone on the stage front row) for Stephin Merritt, who is also one of my all time fave musicians. So it's not like I've never been to shows where the audience is fully invested in the band and in having the best time. It's not like I've never had once in a lifetime concert experiences. But none of those shows were anything close to Xdinary Heroes. I don't know what it was about the energy in that room, but it was- Amazing. It's not like they played all my fave songs. It's not like there were any standout moments. It's not like I had VIP or was particularly close to the stage. (Though my fave member did wear a skirt, which did make me especially happy.) It just was something I can't explain, I don't even think I want to try because I can't come close. I don't think I will ever go to a better concert, but I hope I can go to one that is the same level. I left the concert feeling like "if I could attend this concert weekly I think it would fix everything - stress, anxiety, depression, I think this would be the most effective thing to fix me and my life" Getting into kpop was finding a necessary spark of joy at the right time and letting myself be a person again. I don't think it necessarily saved my life, but my mental health was definitely getting rockier than I like and I was struggling. Going to the Xdinary Heroes concert was- I can't regret anything in my life because the choices I made led me to that moment. I wish I could explain, but it just was. Even calling it special or magical feels insufficient.

I managed to finally stop drinking and so far this year I have read 83 books and persisted for over 7.5 years doing Duolingo daily. I’d say I feel good about each of these things, particularly the number of books that I’ve read.

At 94 years old dad passed away after being in Hospice for a month. There is a part of me that is grateful. Grateful to have had the time to spend with him this past year as we brought them up from Florida and happy I have no regrets. I was with him when he passed. In some ways I'm relieved. He didn't suffer and his needs were getting greater and greater. I miss him but I know his last year of life didn't have the joy anymore. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel though. Sometimes I think I'm so busy caring now for mom and helper HER and dealing with all the finances and issues that go along with a passing, I don't have time to just sit and be sad. But it will come. The second significant experiience is my son finally moved out on his own. I am relieved. I am realizing it was better for him and for our relationship. I hope he thrives and finds his way.

Note to future Maddie: Look how far you've come! You're writing this as a college senior who has made it through a pretty crazy year, and you're looking forward to the future. Future Maddie, please give yourself the credit you deserve for your growth and your continued effort for life, even when it doesn't feel like it's always there. Onto the question: Last spring (2024) I studied abroad for four months in Morocco. I tend to wish to avoid cliches, however, I am gratefully cliche as I say that study abroad absolutely changed my life. My host family was one of the most thoughtful, most kind, and most generous groups of people I have ever been lucky enough to interact with, and I miss them so much every single day. Moroccan culture was so entirely different from United States culture to the point where I have changed my opinions about feminism, about religion, and about what it means to lead a happy life. Another long answer, but I had an internship this summer that changed me for the better. I wasn't fully honest when I talked about START last year - the experience wasn't wonderful (although the work was very interesting). This summer, however, despite my own shortcomings (which I am working through and which I have been told to give myself some grace for), I had an incredible job and I was really lucky to get that experience as well.

I hiked the Appalachian Trail. Changed how I look at things. Very grateful and relieved.

I just realized (like 3 days ago) that I might be autistic. Which explains a lot of things about my body, my mind, my emotions, my feelings and my entire life that have left me always feeling like I was crazy, less than and just not normal. I've always embraced not being normal and that it is an asset. But in the back of my mind, wondering what it is or why, wanting an explanation. It has put so many pieces of the puzzle into place. And if it's not autism, well then it has helped me think about all those lost pieces differently.

I spent 2 weeks in Israel, including several days volunteering in agriculture. I was very moved being back in Israel at this time, and was reminded of the incredible resilience and positivity of Israelis. I was definitely thankful to have the opportunity but humbled by the gratitude expressed to me even though my contribution was small. I am inspired with the way Israelis don’t dwell in their difficulties but get on with solutions, living their families, living life to the full, and achieving excellence in what they do.

In January, just as I'd purchased tickets for an outdoor adventure in Ecuador, I got news that the $5,000 elevator payment I made the previous year needed doubled (with possibly more + no detail on if it was a proper fix or bandaid). It changed my entire year! I cancelled the trip, was wildly stressed, it taught me a LOT about the hustle I'm capable of, taught me lessons in how I want to make/use money, and ultimately made me proud of myself. I'm answering this question from a relaxing-adventure trip in Colombia. WOW!

The LTB ruled in our favour and we are no longer under a threat of eviction! It was a great relief and an affirmation of all that we have done for this building. It has motivated me to keep on going with OLLRA to get what life leasers need - legislative protection from unscrupulous landlords -a misnomer to be sure.

The day after my beit din and mikveh. I dunked so quickly and did the blessings so fast (I was really excited to be official!) I didn’t “feel” anything and wondered to myself if I did it right. But then I got home and started planning my bat mitzvah, shopping for a tallit, made arrangements to teach Hebrew school, and officially joined the temple which made me feel like I was taking my place in Am Yisrael.

Attending the funeral/celebration of life for my great aunt and cousin. Grateful to have the occasion to connect with family and for the conversations these events inspired with my older daughter.

This entire year has been October 7. This entire year. It still is. I have no more words, but many tears, much anger, and every so much determination to do what I can for my people. Sometimes it's about the second sentence of Hillel's maxim. This year has been about the first sentence. And continuing bitterness toward those who not only didn't show up for me and mine, but showed up for the terrorists and murderers.

I have started to lose mobility in my knees which is causing me pain and is affecting my ability to walk long distances and climb stairs. This frightens me as I am only in my early sixties. I have been strength training for the last six months and am now starting a stretching program which I hope will improve the situation. I have also lost 13 kg to take pressure off my knees, ankles and feet. Ideally I need to lose another 17 kg. Let’s see what the year has in store for me.

Personally life has been oh so daily. Being semi retired I like this. But on a political nationwide scene I very concerned about the upcoming election. I miss Joe Biden not running for re-election, but I think it is the best. We have to send Donald Trump home. His legal battles aside his first term was like a circus. It will be again. We need measured and empathic leadership.

Visiting the Nova site was one of the most significant experiences I had this year. The second I got off the bus I started to cry. Seeing all the picture of the victims, reading their stories, and seeing families sitting around wanting to share the stories of their children broke me. I knew what I was getting into but the memorials just kept going on and on and the ages just got younger. The one name that really got me was someone who had the same name and nickname as me. I know she could have done so much with her young age and sadly she won’t be able to. Going to the site really proved to me how many innocent lives where stolen and how our world will never be the same

My youngest daughter really struggles with her mental health and received an eating disorder diagnosis. We have worked so hard with her this past year and have stabilized her weight, but she is still depressed. She talks about killing herself and it's hard, so hard to hear. I am tired and today I feel like I can't. I. Just. Can't.

In the past year I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This has changed my life pretty dramatically particularly because I have chosen to go forward with a bilateral mastectomy in December 2024 as part of my treatment. I am grateful that this was discovered early enough to not be life threatening but I am nervous about how the healing process will be from the mastectomy, how I will feel without my breasts and whether I will have any additional diagnoses.

Birthed our third child. I was curious whether it would feel overwhelming but it has been validating. I’ve realized through this child how much I’ve changed and grown as a human bc of my other kids, and feel at ease, feels so natural having a child now and no longer new or foreign. Of course there’s more work, more challenges. But there’s also more wonder, more love, more life. And it’s just the binging as a family of 5.

We purchased a new business - Exit Factor! It is a great match for our current business, and I am excited to provide consulting services with a great backbone! It has made me feel competent, scared and excited all at once. We are still in the early stages, so it will be interesting to see how things go this year!

I discovered paddle boarding & rekindled my love of camping. Mama Nature Most Matrixriarchial

I got laid off from my tech job and I was very happy when it happened. It gave me time to focus on finishing my life coaching certification and it allowed me to discover I could freelance and earn a living working only 8 hrs a week. Although I am back in a 9-5, I take away the lesson of how resourceful I am when it matters.

What's the meaning of significant? -accepting the the older generation is fine one day and wicked not the next -relationships aren't always secure as one thinks

My appointment to the board of directors of an organization I love was rescinded when the leadership learned the conviction that sent me to prison. I have found release and clarity about how I want to live.

I didn't get accepted to a new school that I really wanted to transfer to and it was so hard, all I wanted was a change that could help change me and my environment and hopefully give me a clean slate and a new beginning after everything has happened they didn't accept me and now I am in the environment, Same people, same me . I feel resentful and mostly angry about it. Hopefully everything turns out better.

I have come to realise this year that I cannot continue with my current job. It's a difficult realisation because I have identified with the job for the last 12 years. Leaving the field feels like I have failed, like I cannot live up to my ideals. But I am also excited for something new, something that might nourish and motivate me. And I feel relief that I do not have to continue contorting myself in my career and making myself bad for not being able to thrive and be happy.

You know I can’t wait to look back in a year and not be depressed I’ll miss him forever and my heart breaks that he isn’t mine anymore.

Adam contracted Covid (for the second time) as we came home from a big family trip to Japan. This time, instead of ending up with pneumonia, something happened neurologically to his vision and, from the moment he wakes up until the moment he goes to sleep, he experiences extreme dizziness and nausea. This has basically left him homebound since the end of May (it's now the beginning of October). We have finally found a neuro-optometrist who seems to both understand what is going on and how to help his brain get back to normal, so there is some hope that this will end. He just began treatment, so it will still be a while. I do feel resentment. While the family trip to Japan was fun, it was not something that was on top of our list and came at a really bad time - we had just returned to our house after living in the basement for 3 months during a complete renovation of the inside. Living in the basement kept us pretty isolated (we couldn't have people over, which is something we like to do) and we were so looking forward to getting back into the renovated home, with a beautiful kitchen and entertaining space, so that we could fill it with laughter and friendship. Instead, we had two weeks to unpack before heading out to Japan and we were TIRED! We rationalized that the trip (almost a month, all told) would be fun and when we got back, we would really be able to start our lives in Canada. Instead, we came home with Adam testing positive for Covid, and then this neurological issue, and here we are, months later, still not able to do all the things we want to do together. Had we not gone to Japan, he would not have contracted Covid, and he (and I) would not be suffering like this. It is difficult at times to separate the parts of the trip that were fun (being with my family, seeing my mother smiling again), from what happened after it and I wish we had not gone.

I retired; or I was fired - for bad behavior - again. I am both relieved and resentful. I like not working but I hate that my career ended due to my inability to act like an adult. Yes, it was toxic environment but I can't let that be a cop out. I had a breast reduction - my defining body size of huge breasts is resolved. Poof. Nothing but grateful. Should have done it years ago. I fell and broke my elbow - and now feel old.

The obvious answer is October 7th. I have been seriously traumatized, with PTSD, depression, and anxiety. My close friends had made aliyah the summer before, and I was on the phone with them at least once a week initially. The past couple of months have been especially difficult because I have become severely withdrawn, and stopped calling them. I felt that, with everything they've been going through, they didn't need my negativity. There has been an ironic flip side to this. I am angry, really angry, and defiant. I decided NOBODY is going to make me hide who I am, and I've even gone out of my way to buy a whole bunch of new, obviously Jewish t-shirts. Once during this summer I was driving and saw a demonstration in support of Israel. I didn't even think about it. I pulled my car into the parking lot and joined them. I'm so glad I did that. But I haven't been able to find the group since, which has been frustrating, because it would have been a good idea to have something to get involved in, and people to do it with. And then, there is something that happened just this week-- Hurricane Helene tore through one of my most favorite places in all the world, Asheville, NC. I've been there several times, and even seriously investigated moving there. I was devastated to see the horrible damage to my beautiful city. I knew there is a Conservative synagogue in Asheville, so I called. Then I called the rabbi. But since there was no power, no cell service, no electricity, I decided to email the rabbi. I don't know him, and his is a new name from the rabbi I have listed. I don't know if he will get the email, and being that it was 2 days to R.H., even if he was able to get my email he must be swamped(no pun intended) by other pressing matters. I live in NJ, and I'm sure he would be surprised to hear from me in any case, but I felt compelled to reach out and offer help, and to let him and his congregation know he was not alone. It is something I feel good about doing, and has helped to bring me out of a very dark place, even just a little. I'm not trying to brag about what I did. It's not that at all. It's a part of the old me, that I thought I had lost forever, that me that did things like this as a matter of course, because there was a need for kindness or action.

In March, I turned 50. I had already been reassessing the way I spend my time, and that milestone set me on a more urgent path to dedicate my remaining years to the people and pursuits that matter most to me. This has required me to know and accept myself more deeply—to let go of old stories about who I think I am and what I expected life to be like at 50. It has required me to confront my fears and shame—many surrounding work, money, and creativity. I've taken the first steps and am trying to be patient with the process. I've asked for and gotten a new manager at work. I've asked for and gotten a new job description. I've asked for but have not yet gotten a raise. I think I will, maybe in January, though more money is not what I most want. It just feels necessary to pull me out of debt. I try to be grateful for my path and my relative security. I am, however, resentful of the time I sell to work I don't love just to pay bills that should be shared and that should not include so much debt. So, that's where I am right now - in the thick of a big transition. Trying to be patient. At turns inspired and optimistic, then pessimistic and fatalist. I've always maintained my hope, though, and I believe in my ability to transform my life and spend the rest of my years focusing on what matters most to me.

On 03-18-24, I was fully paralyzed with Guillian-Barre Syndrone. I was intubated, put on a ventilator, had a tracheotomy, and PEG feeding tube entered into my stomach. I had severe nerve pain in all parts of my body. It affected every part of my life, missing my daily sports, girlfriends, and the routine life with my husband. After 5+ months in four hospitals, I am grateful to be home. Now must learn how to walk again, have normal hands, and be rid if the constant nerve pain in lower legs, ankles, feet and hand. I am determined to return to running and swimming and yoga and Egym, and free weights again!!!

I decided to leave my job without a plan B I am scared, sleepless However, I feel relieved and aligned with my values

we just survived a cat 1 hurricane. i’ve never known fear like that. but i never had to question that i wouldn’t have a safe place after all of the destruction. so very mixed feelings, gratitude but complete shock at the same time

The most significant happening in my life has been the birth of our Granddaughter to our LGBT+ family in the UK. She is beautiful and full of life. It filles me with HOPE and Joy for the future. I am grateful for the healthy birth and that all involved are safe and happy

October 7 has been a profound and significant experience. I feel kind of wrecked by it. Like something hurts a physical pain.

The obvious answer is, of course, October 7. It shaped my entire year in that it redefined all of my relationships (for good and bad) and diminished my belief in safety, humanity, and mutual respect. It also deepened my connection to the Jewish people and validated my decision to become a Jewish communal professional. I remember vividly what October 9 felt like at work and how grateful I felt to work in a Jewish org who created so much space to process and be with community. I will hold onto the memory of my close (non-Jewish) high school friends texted me and sent me a care package with candles, face masks, and chocolate to let me know that they loved me. I will be grateful that when I was deeply in grief on my birthday, they came in from out of state with food and patience to sit with me for a quiet day at home instead of a big party. I will forever miss the best friend who stopped speaking to me.

I told a man I was in love with him for the first time. Even though it didn’t turn into something that lasted, it was something that I had kept to myself for so long. And I stand behind it. It was the first time I felt it in a long time. He doesn’t live in NYC anymore, and, as far as I can tell, is not ready to give me what I want, but I hope he’s thriving and I’m excited to fall in love again.

I got to travel to Budapest with my father for my sister's wedding, which I officiated. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness for the experience. I feel so lucky.

I lost my father. I'm relieved that he's no longer in pain, but his loss hurts so very much. I miss his voice. I miss his strength. I miss his love.

Wow. We had a baby. It was so much. I feel like I'm finally in a pretty good place with it, although I miss my body and I miss sleep and I have my very first daycare illness right now. But Gabriel is amazing and gives me so many reasons to be better in all possible ways.

This is a weird answer maybe but an experience that will live on with me is running the annual meeting at church unexpectedly. I had short notice and was nervous to do it because it was a meeting full of people I respected, and then a committee made the meeting confrontational. It was impactful because I realized that I was a lot more prepared for situations like that than anticipated, and I was able to try to keep the tone warm and informational. It also was interesting that as soon as the adrenaline ebbed I needed to cry immediately. Most people were very warm and supportive. It also made every work presentation I have to give incredibly easy - nothing compared to having people I deeply admire and respect throwing a bus at me!

I was censured by my board partners for minimal wrongdoings. I was investigated, and a majority of the investigation was not accurate nor based on law or policy. It was a public process and harmed me and my family in numerous ways. At bare minimum, I am resentful. Yesterday, one of the people who did me great harm apologized and said the actions taken were wrong and apologized for being involved. I acknowledged the apology, but did not accept it because I am still furious and am not ready. I’ve been thinking about that. Can I ever be in a place to accept this apology and what would it take to repair the harm? Today I am not sure.

I hiked the Dolomites with a friend. I worried that I would not be fit enough, and it turned out I was in great shape (better than anyone else). I realized I have been fearful about overseas travel without David, and this trip was empowering and reminded me I can do things by myself. It also helped me to realize that I am working too much, and I need to make some serious changes to balance work and pleasure (even though my work also brings me a ton of pleasure). After a week at home, I have decided to go out on my own and open a private practice. I feel grateful, powerful, hopeful, relieved, and determined!

I took out two wisdom teeth. It was a surgery. I felt very resentful of my friends, very lonely. Devoid of community. It was painful on many fronts.

There was more than one. I retired after failing to get any of the several jobs I applied for and then finding that my present job just wasn't exciting me anymore. I was definitely ambivalent, not sure that I was ready for a life without the structure and purpose of work, but I decided that I would mark the occasion by taking a long-dreamt-of trip to China. I prepared by going back to my elementary level of Chinese (acquired when I was a college freshman and then again when I was a grad student) and plugging away at Duolingo and other apps. I prepared relentlessly by talking to people, downloading apps, reading, etc etc. And I took an amazing three-week trip. I now feel ready to live with retirement!

I entered into a relationship with Felix. Our relationship has helped me grow so much as a person, in learning to trust that people will not disappear, and a good relationship will flourish in its own time.

Resentful! This is a hard one. The contradiction between the Reform Movement's claim to ethical values and its irrational devotion to the government of Israel has come to a head for me. I don't know that I can continue on as a member of the Reform Movement. What occurs to me is that I live with disagreements over what are to me very important questions with friends and family. Those connections have something deeper to them, or other to them. But at Temple is where I expect to find my values reflected. I do not expect to have to navigate differences over significant ethical questions. If Reform cannot say Never Again and mean it, then I cannot be part of it. As long as the URJ shills for those who commit Genocide then I have to distance myself.

Communal - 10/7. Awful. Brought forward the face of antisemitism and anti Israel I only read about growing up and thought was in the past. Was hopeful this wouldn’t ever be something to encounter and that my children never have to experience. Hard to teach my daughters to be passionate about their Jewish identity with the fear of putting them in any danger. Hope next year brings forth some peace.

Ian and I broke up, and I couldn’t be happier. I cry when I reread our messages, but when I put the phone down and look around me, I see how my life has opened up.

When October 7th came last year, it brought the most horrific attack against the Jewish community since the Holocaust. This year has been incredibly difficult, from continued attacks in Israel, the rise in antisemitism in the US and the loss of people I knew in Israel. We just felt like this going to be a typical year, coming out of Covid, and then this tragedy caused trauma once again. People are physically and emotionally exhausted. Grateful to work in the Jewish community and to be around so many people who “get it.” We support one another, grieve with one another and continue to look forward together.

Wow. The most significant has been the ongoing war in the Middle East, the Oct 7 Hamas attack on Israel and the ensuing response and attacks by Israel on Palestinians in Gaza, the West Bank, and now in Lebanon and even Iran. The rise in anti-Semitism and violence is like nothing I've seen in my lifetime before. I've been scared, depressed, inspired, tired. I've lost some hope. Made some friends.

In September of 2024, I attended my 35th high school reunion. There, I encountered two women who used to torment me mercilessly in middle school due to my weight, social awkwardness, etc. I have referred to this group, of whom there were 4-5 in total, as the "Glamour Girls." They were equal parts snobbish, elitist, and stunning. You probably know the type. Make no mistake - at this reunion, these two women, both 53 years old, still looked like they'd just walked off the set of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, or a Brad Pitt move. One of the women gave me an expected brusque, half-hearted, awkward greeting. The other woman, however, proved far more noteworthy. For now, we'll call her Joanne (her name isn't Joanne). Out of nowhere, Joanne starts talking to me, and it startled me. I thought of the lyrics by one of my favorite musicians, Sting: "Don't stand so close to me!" However, I learned during this little discussion that Joanne had 3 masters degrees in special education, one of them from Columbia. Wow. At first, my reaction was, "I'm not ok with this. You need to be a fat, ugly, unaccomplished waste of space at age 53." Clearly, she was not. Furthermore, Joanne said that she owned a low-carb restaurant right next door to where this reunion was taking place. So Joanne was making a positive difference, in her world, in multiple ways. I was absolutely floored. I didn't even know what to say. I had just taken it as gospel over the years, when I saw the Glamour Girls' names come up in Facebook threads, for example, that they fit a particular characterization. Well, the first woman I mentioned still did. The second one, however, was the equivalent of the sun rising in the west and setting in the east. The next day, I sent her a note through Facebook Messenger, which I knew *at the beginning* would make her upset. I explained the middle school situation, and then said that I had her all wrong. Of course, she became upset and said, "I had no idea about the whole middle school thing," which may or may not be an honest statement. However, I needed that reaction so that I could reply, "No, no, no. You don't understand. I am thanking you for giving me the right to atone for my thoughts (which is what we Jews do this time of year), and for teaching me a little something about people." I don't know if/when I will ever see Joanne again, but unlike pre-reunion, I am not against the idea.

As I turned 50, I began dating a really wonderful man. He’s honestly everything I’ve dreamed of in a partner. This turns out to be the most serious relationship I’ve ever been in. After so many decades as a single adult, to be in a healthy and fun relationship blows my mind. It relaxes me, makes me happy.

I lost my mother September 28, 2023. She had been ill for a long time, and I had spent some time with her the night before. She sat up in bed, asked me to give her a manicure (which I did), talked to me, even tried to get out of bed. I thought at the time it was a rally, a common occurrence before death, and sure enough she died the next day. Then November 6, 2023 my daddy had a heart attack and died. He had been grieving so hard. November 3 would have been their 67th anniversary. I think he died of a broken heart. It was such a horrible shock, losing them both within such a short time. My relationship with my parents has been rocky. It was very complicated. They had refused contact with me for a couple of years and said hurtful things, most of which was due to their religious beliefs and my having left their religion. Then later, they reinitiated contact. My mother apologized to me. My father never did, as such, but we began a somewhat new relationship, especially after the onset of my mother's illness. In light of all of this, I have had mixed feelings, to put it mildly, about their deaths. I have had gratitude that we were relating to each other in the twilight of their lives. I have been relieved, because it was so difficult dealing with my mother's illness and my daddy's refusal to relinquish control even though her care was beyond his capabilities. Also because we live several hours away, I was relieved I wouldn't have to make that trip anymore. But I have not been able to completely forget or forgive how they treated me earlier. It's been such a jumble of emotions, and they hit me now and then completely out of the blue. I've read that this is normal, so I'm trying to work through this phase. I am trying to be grateful for the good things, and they are plentiful, that my parents did for me. Some days I achieve it, and some I do not.

Daddy/boy sex unravelling me and bringing me back got me resentful (it was meant to be just sex! Not a spiritual experience! He said he loved me while fucking my ass! We processed nothing!) and grateful (OMG thanks for bringing these transformative, healing experiences and this kind, pervy man to my life).

we settled our lawsuit from my broken leg. I am deeply relieved that the entire ordeal is behind us. It was an emotional roller coaster from the time of the accident until the close of the case. I feel grateful that I did not lose my life or my limbs and am happy to be able to move on with my life without that hanging in the background.

Recovering slowly from the over stress of my last year teaching, the death of my closest cousin, retirement. It started out being a bit chaotic, until I began a new job at a university. That came in HANDY! I thought it would last and it did until June. Then beginning retirement again, not knowing how it would be to find another job. That was stressful, particularly as my savings dropped. Now into October, have managed to keep a roof over my head, pay bills. Will start a job but not until two weeks so it is a little bit tough!

Attended the Rose Bowl. It was awesome. I got to share it with my son and wife.

There have been a number of experiences that has made this year unlike any other. October 7, of course, shook my entire world. Beyond fear, outrage, and sadness, I was just devastated at the response from people I know (or knew) and how callous, unwilling to listen, and, frankly, ridiculous they were when it came to the topic. The lack of critical thinking and the double standards and hypocrisy are simply exhausting. I no longer engage in debate with people who don't think Jews deserve self-determination in our indigenous lands and who think Jews or Israel could even consider perpetrating a genocide. They don't want to hear that they might be a smidge wrong, because that would wreck their self-image of being people who fight the good fight for the oppressed and downtrodden... it's infuriating and exhausting. On the other hand, I finally got a new job, left NYC, and moved back in with my parents. This was a goal I had been working towards for over a year (the new job, not living with my parents), and the waiting, the insane number of applications, the "nos," and the missed opportunities all ended up being worth it. I am relieved and grateful, and looking forward to this new chapter in DC. The move was stressful, but having my parents help out, even when I wanted to do it all by myself, was the better choice in the end. I am so grateful to be at home and closer to the family.

Last year, on the day before Yom Kippur, I noticed an itchy freckle in the middle of my chest. I remember feeling it through my shirt in services, and calling the doctor the next day to make an appointment. On Halloween I got a call (standing in a dinosaur suit) that it was melanoma...but localized. it was cut out, and remains a scar, but that moment really changed everything for me. It filled me with fear and anxiety like I've never known, gratitude and relief when it didn't spread, and a sense of fragility. It also fundamentally changed my relationship to the sun...which is now basically my nemesis. So yeah...check your freckles.

My significant experience that I experience this year was when I did my first play since college Freaky Friday. Made Me feel better about myself. I'm very inspired about this experience

I was reading a self help book. All of a sudden, I felt something holding me and at that moment, I knew there was a good. I walked outside and everything looked different. However, I came inside, saw Tom in pain and my good feelings were gone. They were replaced by some anger by what was happebning to him.I know that bad things happen to good people/ It felt great and I assume to was G-d. I am trying really hard to bring G[d into my life but it is something I can't understand, visualize and it is very scary. I am grateful that it happened. I still have that existential angst about what happens after I die as I don't want to. I don't want tp leave what I know.I assume this was g-d telling me that things would be OK but I don't know what that means. For the time being, I am not going to spend so much discussing as I am messing and not enjoying the present moment. I am going to incorporate G-d into my life and hope that it becomes part of who I am. "Fake it til you make it'

The 5.4 earthquake we experienced on our next to last night in Lisbon (after a month traveling all around Portugal) really shook me in a way I did not expect. The doors pounding against their frames, the bed tilting, 5am ish in the morning. Running to check on our children sleeping in their room. Then standing at window watching another couple peer out in early morning darkness. Solemn and eerie. Just felt pushed up against the brevity of life. Thinking about the 1774 earthquake and feeling so grateful and lucky that we were safe. And how random life and death are. How I still want so desperately to be alive in the world with my husband and children and family.

I quit drinking, quit my job, and am moving in the flow of my best life. I feel inspired and powerful and peaceful. Most of the time 😄

This year has been shaped above all by October 7th and its massacre. I am forever changed from who I was on October 6th. A year after the world shifted in the blood of the massacre and its aftermath, I'm angry, tired, and ready for whatever fight comes next. There are still 101 hostages as I write this hours before Rosh Hashanah. Until they are home, I am broken.

The friend group that I have had for the last five or six years, broke up. One of my longest best friends is not talking to me at the moment I feel frustrated and angry and hurt, but there is also a sense of relief and away and needing to kind of let go of the past, where that friendship is concerned .

I started dating again! I did go on one date the year before, but I actually immersed myself in the dating experience. I even put full-body pics up on the apps, which I absolutely hate taking, and I was open about dating with friends and family, which I didn't do before. I went on several dates, and all of them went well. I even had a steamy makeout sesh with a lieutenant in his police vehicle. I still have body image issues, but it was really nice to feel attractive, desired, admired, etc etc etc. I recognize that perhaps I waited too long to date and got too comfortable in my solitude. It is so awkward meeting people for the first time, and part of me feels like that would be easier if I had jumped into it years ago. But perhaps I'm fooling myself and I'd still be pleasantly awkward and quirky regardless.

I have graduated from my career in Administration with Island Catholic Schools. I am grateful and relieved it is over. My last assignment was very difficult. I am hopeful and excited for the future.

I lost my Kevin. It rocked my world. It still rocks. There are moments of joy but the grief is deep and wild.

I underwent a full rheumatology workup in attempts to identify an underlying disease or disorder responsible for pain and tears in connective tissue. Aside from osteoarthritis and synovial hyperplasia in my hands, everything else was within normal limits. While the Dr said I present like I have something and we can repeat the tests as often as needed, there were no treatment options at that time. So I continued to have hip and back pain that was not being managed with steroid injection or oral medications. It left me feeling sad, dejected, and hopeless. But I was able to talk with my dietician friend to make adjustments to lifestyle/diet which have been helping to keep things more under control.

My sister and I got our own place at the lake. For the first time in 30+ years, we don't stay with our whole family. I am grateful and a bit resentful that our old family cabin dynamic has changed. I am thankful that we will spend time together and that family is still important to all of us.

My long term partner and I broke up while on a month long backpacking trip. We decided to continue the backpacking trip together as friends. Its been a few months now, and we are still trying to be friends, though its hard to find a balance between grief and the love we feel for each other. I am grateful we broke up, sad about losing a best friend, hopeful we will be able to build something platonic and healthy someday.

The declining health and death of my husband, Martin. As much as I thought I was prepared, I was not. It devastated me. It has now been 5 months and I'm feeling better, moving forward with fewer emotional crashes. I have returned to voice lessons which is helping tremendously. I am both relieved and troubled by his passing -- he struggled for so long and tried his best to make it to our 25th anniversary; he died shortly before the 24th.

I thought I was going to close my business of 20+ years at the end of last August. We had barely any work, were down to one full-time employee after my partner and me, and $50K on the credit line to pay back. I was ready to give up, move to Providence, and start a whole new (work) life, maybe teaching at RISD and going gently into that good night. It was demoralizing since we had staked Volume on this new and promising vision that instead looked like an albatross. (That I was still grieving the passing of my father didn’t help the rational thinking, either...) And then...work just came roaring back. So much that it will be the best year we’ve ever had financially. I’m not sure we’ll be able to keep up this momentum, and I’m still reeling from the whiplash. (Mostly in a good way.) But it’s given me a new perspective and challenge, creatively. I don’t think I’m doing the best work I’ve ever done, but I am learning and growing, and feeling like there still might be some mileage left on the wheels, in a field that I had almost left for being completely bankrupt on all fronts. I guess reinvention can happen when you’re old(er), after all...

My dad passed away suddenly this year, marking the most significant experience of my life thus far. I am forever changed from this event. I can't say concretely how it affected me yet, because it has been less than three months. I feel a mixture of depression, anxiety, sadness, and anger. I feel a pressure to achieve my goals faster than ever before, and not in a good way. I miss him more than words can express.

I hate that my immediate answer is deaths, but it really is. I have been incredibly lucky to experience fairly little death in my life, and I'm coping pretty poorly. I'm trying to talk about it and work through it, but I don't feel like I know how. Grief is bullshit man.

I have been wearing my glasses more often and found out my sight is decreasing and we increased my prescription of my reading glasses that I now wear most of the time. I appreciate my eye sight and that I keep up on doctors appointments

Our family has had a reunion every two years for about 20 years, and one was scheduled for this (2024) summer. My husband and I had thought we wouldn't have as robust a response and consoled ourselves by saying our purpose had been served: all the cousins knew each other and family connections had been created though families lived far apart. We found instead that there was much more enthusiasm than we'd anticipated, and that the younger generation was wanting to take over some of the planning for the next one! We felt both grateful and relieved that the reunions will go on!

October 7th and the terrorist attack in Israel which unleashed the devastating annihilation of the Palestinian people by the Israeli government and the IDF. I feel confused, sad, hopeless and sometimes afraid. I feel heartbroken witnessing the ways the ongoing crisis in the Middle East is devastating my own communities in North America. Though the stakes are lower and are not life and death as they literally are in Israel and Gaza and now Lebanon… on a personal level, the interpersonal cruelty, lack of empathy, and flattening of nuance has been awful.

Closing the wine company was significant. For the last seventeen years it kept me focused, engaged, busy, active, intellectually and physically active. I am relieved not to have lost money, grateful to let it go and inspired to do something new. It was a bigger change than I expected. I am now going thru the lazy period and looking forward to being much busier.

Beginning at last a new garden in the wastelanad behine the house where I am now living. A truely mamoth task. It has given me focus and an inerest in landscaping and design I never had in the past. Working with plants, being outside has been inspiring and thankful I am having help as it was becoming a bit of a struggle to maintain on my own.

Wow. Well, last year at this time, we were mourning the loss of my uncle who left things in a mess for us to deal with. We thought we were going to see him in the hospital the day after my niece's wedding but he died a few days before that so instead we went to take care of his estate. Meanwhile, my elderly mother was taking care of my dad who had gotten out of rehab after a leg amputation and my brother was dealing with cancer. I went to visit my mom for her birthday this month last year and while I was there, my dad was enrolled in hospice and we took care of him until he died on October 29. I was to go home but stayed so my mom was not alone right after and my husband came to pick me up two weeks later. We were eating dinner and got a call from my niece that my brother was in the hospital so we all got in the car and rushed to NJ to be with him - for the final days of his life. We had lost 3 members of our family in the space of 2.5 months. It was such a mix of emotions, and was both emotionallly and physcially exhausting between my mom's age and my disabilities adding to the mix. I think I was grateful that none of them were suffering any more. I was grateful that I had spent time with my brother and had many conversations with him over the last several years. I was grateful that I could be there for my dad and my brother. I was relieved that my mother no longer had to take care of my father. I was resentful that my uncle had left things in such a mess. I was inspired to lean into my grief and process it and learn from it. This was a series of connected events, including 3 deaths and a wedding that I am still processing and learning from. And now my niece is pregnant - circle of life.

I had a cardiac arrest in March. It changed my perspective on life-I now exercise more, eat better, have a therapist and am more accepting of life's events. I'm actually healthier, physically and mentally, than if it had never happened

Taking an improv class this summer. It was a moment where I decided to do something, instead of just thinking about it. And I went further outside of my comfort zone in six weeks. I’m grateful that I did it as I was able to put everything aside and see the humor in life.

Navigating the world of in home care for my mother. It’s like managing a business out of her home, dealing with drama, but also gratitude at how well taken care of she is.

This year, my step dad passed away suddenly. My uncle also passed. I feel like it’s the first time in my life I’ve been so intimately tied to death. I feel my own mortality and the mortality of those around me. I feel like I have entered a new door, a place in myself that I didn’t have access to that I do now. It’s really hard and complicated but I also somehow feel more whole? Like it’s nice to have more information about what life actually is? I am having a hard time validating my feelings around it all and allowing myself to grieve, it’s been really difficult and I’m exhausted. I want this year to be over and also, I’m so grateful for the lessons I have gathered. I feel acutely alive.

I needed to move. My landlord asked us to leave the house we have been renting for 7 years. I feel like we were rushed into the decision and paid more that we could afford. I am grateful that I was able to fund a house, but I wish it were on the terms of my family and not to avoid being homeless.

There were so many! Eclipses, solar flares, October 7th, Gaza, ongoing Sudan, Ukraine and other hotspots, my own difficult health journey, a family member who is deeply challenged, and more! It was one of the most mysterious years of my Life. I feel fortunate to still be on Earth and hope to make as much of a difference as possible by reminding people how awesome they/we all are and how we can all choose to be kind and fully present for one another. Violence and bullying MUST END!

I got pregnant and gave a birth to a beautiful baby girl this year. During 9 months of pregnancy I went through mixture of different emotiones, feelings and states. Even though it was very stressful, I am a happy mom now. Could’t be happier with mu little bug!

I did Kaddish for my brother , my father’s brother, for Eden and Antonio who were killed by Hamas the October 7 th , for the Jayalim and the people who were killed by Hamas . It was an honor for me to have the opportunity to do this Mitzva.

My brother died by suicide. It's been traumatic.

My company was acquired and I had to find a new job, quickly. This set my anxiety up to an 11. I ended up getting plenty of offers but the job I ended up taking was a mistake. I'm still trying to figure out how to fix it.

I lost my 12 year old dog, Dodger, in December 2023. It was unexpected. He'd been feeling poorly since October, not eating the way he normally did, and after I took him to the vet in late November, it was discovered he had a large tumor growing against his heart. It was devastating. This dog was there for me through the pandemic and the loss of both of my parents. It felt cruel to have to say goodbye to him too. I'm still upset about it, but I'm glad he's no longer struggling. He wasn't himself that last month. He was the best dog ever, and I miss him.

October 7th. I now don't know who to trust. I am nervous about telling people I'm Jewish. My faith in humanity is dwindling.

Maybe this isn't super significant, but I caught Covid for the first time and was pretty sick for 4-5 days. I was grateful that it wasn't worse than it was, that I had a primary care doctor to reach out, and that I was able to take time off work to rest and recover. I'm also grateful for the vaccines that kept me alive and made my experience tolerable, if not exactly easy. I am more aware than ever of the vitality of life and how we should take sickness, recovery, and rest seriously.

I don’t run. I had a P.E. Coach in elementary school who made fun of me for being fat and slow and taunted me for taking too long during the physical fitness test. This past year I ran a 5K. I know that’s not huge but it was for me. I finished in 30 minutes which I was proud of, especially on minimal preparation for it. Plus, I got to do it with my little sister and my dad, which made it all the more special.

I had 2 grandchildren. It changed the trajectory of my life, added huge joy, but was challenging and disruptive.

I was terminated from my job August 7th and I am scared shitless that I am going to run out of money if I don’t find something. I knew I was being watched because a money movement but I should have realized I was on borrowed time. I will never trust again!

My brother died after several years of being in ill health. It had been frustrating and occasionally terrifying to attempt to ensure his care from many states away. I learned a lot, became closer to him and my sister in the process and developed a deep appreciation for the community that had supported and accepted him. Through them I was able to see him from a different perspective. I am grateful for the experience, relieved to be able to put this long held burden down, and sad that he is no longer with us. I knew him from the moment he was born until his death and continue to take the measure of his life.

I became Jewish. I am so incredibly happy. Can’t even describe how good I feel.

I decided to start a new business. It has inspired me and made me happy (after a few years of anxiety) Pushed energy /motivation/ and pushed me to develop (address limiting beliefs and push myself) . Not totally there but the progression is good. A little scared it might not work - but I will keep going

I think everyone participating will have a very similar answer this year. October 7th changed all of our lives in a very dramatic way. And, now, we are almost at a year (as I'm writing this, it is October 2nd) the war has expanded, there are still 101 hostages, including the Bibas family, and Diaspora Jews are still being harassed, intimidated, attacked, and more every day. I saw a post somewhere that said that in that person's mind it is still October 7th. It will always be October 7th. Even if and when the war ends and the hostages are home. We cannot go back to "the way things were." On October 7th, I woke to some news alerts on my phone. There were random reports of a terrorist attack in Israel, which was scary, but unfortunately seemed normal to me. Then the alerts started coming faster. News of paragliders, the Nova festival, the kibbutzim that were being destroyed, the hostages...all day long I sat in front of the TV with my phone and computer right beside me. I watched Noa Tishby and Shanni Suissa do live stream after live stream, giving me the information in real time. It just got worse and worse. And, really, it has never ended. All of my significant experiences this past year have been related to October 7th. We light extra Shabbat candles and yarzheit candles now. We incorporated the hostages into our Pesach seder. Miles & Zoe donated some of their B'nai Mitzvah money to an organization that brought dinners to the families of soldiers in the IDF. Zoe's fall conference with her English teacher turned into a discussion about October 7th (this was like a week after it happened) because he was also Jewish and had friends in family in Israel and in Gaza. Miles was bullied at school for being Jewish. We had to evacuate the building before B'Yachad one Sunday because of a bomb threat. And it just goes on and on. There has been so many feelings this year. Mostly fear, bewilderment, betrayal, and sadness. But there were also some good things. Miles and Zoe had their B'nai Mitzvah. Truman started his new fencing program and has really progressed. I got a promotion. My mom turned 70. We chose to celebrate all of these things and more because that is what we do. We keep on going. So, while yesterday I spent the day a nervous wreck because Iran attacked Israel with more rockets and missiles than ever before while at the same time Hamas did a terrorist attack in Jaffa and killed 8 people and wounded others, today I'm cooking and getting ready for Rosh Hashana, picking out ties for the boys to wear, and going on a run with Zoe to train for our 5K on Thanksgiving. It is still October 7th. It will always be October 7th. But we are also still alive and living life. That is what we do and how we survive as Jewish people. I have never been more proud to be Jewish as I have this year.

I turned 60 this summer. It was an awful experience from start to (I guess not finish, because I still have about 10 months until I turn 61, the age at which my maternal grandmother passed away). I was completely freaked out about it, planned a trip to New York in desperation, and then was unable to travel due to covid. I've been soaking in resentment, which is so stupid. Trying to stand up, get out of it, dry off... slowly but surely. I have moments of gratitude and joy, but it's been a slog. I lost weight, finally, after trying for years, and that's a huge source of confusion. "I'm not used to skinny annestone," jody said as I got into the car the other night. We decide that things are good or bad, but then we're just... in them.

Hamas attacked Israel last October 7. They are still holding 101 hostages of the 251 they originally took. Everything about this attack and the ensuing war has changed my world. I feel more Jewish—and closer to the Jewish world—than ever before. I know who my friends are, and that list has changed substantially. I’m profoundly proud of my Jewishness, and I truly love the many friends I’ve made in Israel. I’d love to be there, helping out in any way possible. Even though my heart breaks every day since then, I somehow feel more whole. And definitely more connected.

I graduated from Texas A&M University!!! It has been a slightly difficult transition to post-grad because I am living at home and trying to figure out what my future holds. I am incredibly grateful to my family for their support and for allowing me to figure out my next steps.

With some help, I finally figured out that my husband has mild BPD. It has been remarkably helpful! I now understand much better why he does what he does. And I believe that he's relieved, too. He's no longer just an asshole, he actually has a condition which has a negative impact on his behavior. It's been much easier for me to find ways to raise his awareness of triggers, which has made our lives more peaceful.

Fresh on my mind is our Portugal trip. It made me want to play music again. Everyone was so full of love and joy. If my purpose is to share my music, this was fulfilling my purpose.

Oct 7 - the terrorist attack on Israel has confirmed for me that anti-semitism is flourishing again. I am appalled and disgusted by the blatant embrace of terrorists by ignorant college students, ideologues in academe and mainline Christian denominations. I am afraid for my granddaughters. I am a Christian, a combination of Episcopal and Unitarian. My daughter in law and my grands are Jews.

There is no doubt about it - my father's unexpected passing was the most significant event of the past year. I am grateful that he went quickly and did not suffer. I am resentful that I did not have a picture perfect relationship with him. Although we were not effective at communicating with each other, we did demonstrate our mutual love and respect. In many ways his life has inspired me to be there for my family in two ways - financially and emotionally. I have focused too much on the former at the detriment to the latter. I only get one shot and I don't know how long I've got.

Today is my Dad's birthday. He would have been 81. On a personal level: This year, I got a puppy. It has been hard and so sweet. I didn't realize how much I needed the kind of love that a dog provides. The puppy was a gift from my Mom, and that has also been really sweet. She has really relished her grandparent role, and it has brought her a lot of joy to be the one to help us "expand our family." On a more global level: Israel's ongoing genocide against Palestinians, which has now expanded into Lebanon, has been the defining event of the year for me. I'm realizing now how closely the start of this aligns with the start of this practice. It has both affected me very little in material terms - I am very safe and shielded here, and it has deeply affected my outlook. It prompted me to make some of the largest philanthropic efforts I've made, and some of the most consistent outreach efforts on political issues. It's also wrenched me from my harm mitigation approach of voting for "the lesser of two evils." I can't do it anymore. My critique of Israel has cost me friends, and I do not regret that, though I am sad that people close to me are unable to see the wrongness of Israel's actions. This year has left me increasingly jaded. I have lots of hope in the people around me and very little in our systems, especially those operating at very large scales.

My family, my wife, my daughter and my son, were involved in an automobile accident at the beginning of the year 2024. This has impacted myself and our entire family throughout this year Grateful that they all survived and our now thriving as much as they can. My wife is experiencing ongoing chronic pain in her back and shoulders and treatment is not working at this time to help her. My daughter is also continuing to experience concussions and other ailments as a result of the accident. My son has had injuries that have not been bothering him as much, but he does still experience some pain in his foot, and has anxiety at times. I am glad that everyone is survived and we are hoping to be able to move forward, knowing that their health is OK, and there is light at the end of the tunnel with our financial needs to pay healthcare benefit needs and receive financial security moving forward.

Madison being able to sit for bedtime storytime! It has made me so happy!

The horrifying slaughter on October 7th. I don't want to describe something so unhuman by people doing it with glee. I will never forgive them.

Where to begin...This whole past year has been a surreal nightmarish reality. A year since October 7th when Hamas terrorists and Iran's proxies tried to destroy the country that I live in and call home. Sirens. Blood. Massacre. Iron Dome. Anxiety. Brain Fog. Burn out. Depression. Mourning. Screaming. Wailing. Defamation. Gaslighting. Antisemitism. I thought that day on October 7th that terrorists from Gaza were going to make it to Tel Aviv and kill me. It's been a year since this hellish reality has set in and there's no going back to October 6th, 2023. This is what it is and the way to move forward is by persevering. I think that up until now I have been managing well, of course with ups and downs. However, with help of focusing on my hobbies (dance/art), my relationships and the community I've built for myself here in Tel Aviv, I don't feel alone and I feel alive. Despite the country being at war and being gaslit by the UN, uneducated masses and others, I am grateful to live where I live because I at least feel that my interaction with the people I live in the same country are experiencing the same reality despite our backgrounds may differ. I feel the warmth of people here in Israel and how they have a lust for life. I've learned that I do have a great outlook on life despite the reality being hard because I personally believe that resistance is by thriving and succeeding. I have discovered that I am resilient and I feel that it comes from within. I know who I am and I feel that I have purpose. Each day brings a new start and I think this is what keeps me centered and grounded.

October 7th happened almost one year ago. It changed everything. The world's response to that horrific, violent tragedy was shocking, and it made me realize that the world I was living in wasn't what I believed it was. Colleagues on campus, governments, mobs of protesters all made clear that they treated Jewish victims of terrorism differently than any other, and they justified terrorists targeting Jews like they defended no other. There have also been some surprising pockets of support amidst all the hatred and indifference. For this I am truly grateful.

So many things have happened in the past year, however I will say the biggest of them would be my wife and I leaving our hometown and all of our support system behind and relocating to the 7th largest city in the United States, San Antoinio Tx. We left our families and our children behind to focus on our newfound love and marriage. For my wife, I will say it was harder for her to leave her girls. For me not as much but still hard none the less. One thing I have found to be hard was leaving my mother behind. She has been the biggest rock and cheerleader in my life. At this point I know I will never return to Lubbock to live which in turn has given me a new respect for my hometown. Some of my choices of why I decided to move was one; to always have something to do in terms of dating my wife. Seventh largest city in the U.S. there better be a lot for us to do. Secondly, I wanted to show my children that the world doesn't stop with Lubbock, that they should never be afraid of growth and adventure. I tend to follow my heart, and I want to convey the same message to them as will. While I did feel guilty to leave my children and my grandchildren, I do answer the call of my own and follow my heart the majority of time. I am happy that I left Lubbock and started something new with my best friend who is my wife. We have started a new adventure together here in San Antoinio and started back at school, we even have one class together, so exciting! To finally be together without the pressure of kids always being around and always in our business is such a wonderful feeling to me. What is a better feeling is knowing we have given our kids a gift weather they know it or not. We gave them the skills and the empowerment to make it in this world without us always having to hold their hands. I have a good feeling about this relocation I just know the wife and I have some wonderful opportunities coming our way since we decided to make the move, I just know it!

I got diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. The diagnosis clarified my life, gave me access to helpful medication, and compelled me to make several positive changes in my life. I quit drinking, quit smoking weed, quit drinking caffeine. I feel better than I've ever felt and I am so grateful.

The death of my grandmother. It effected me a lot and still i think about her almost everyday. I miss her so much

October 7th. The impact of this one day has been immense and I feel it every day. Writing this on October 2, 2024 it is unbelievable that there are still 101 hostages being held in Gaza. This year I have learned a lot about people and their true colors. No Jews no news it seems like. Two days ago Israel invaded Lebanon after 9,000 rockets have been rained down on the north of Israel for the last 11 months and no one cared until Israel retaliated. People only care when Jews defend themself it seems. Seeing peoples true colors has hurt. It is scary to feel alone as a Jew as 0.2% of the world population. However, it has brought me closer to my Jewish communities and my journey with Hashem. My small but mighty community at Chabad has brought me lots of comfort this past year. Being in spaces with other Zionist Jews is important and so needed for me. I think about a moment often about a Shabbat dinner I attended that the Rabbi introduces use to a Gaza war veteran joining us for Shabbat and the room went insane. I get chills thinking about the immense Jewish pride in that one room. It feels really special to me. I just looked it up and I wrote my response last year on September 15th 2023. Little did I or anyone else know how dramatically our lives would change and be impacted less then 1 month later. I still have had a good/okay year but wow this is THE significant experience of the year that has consumed me in more ways then I think I am even aware of. This has impacted me personally, my relationships with others, and how I see the world. Its difficult to explain and think about this. I'm praying to God that a year from now this will all be over and our 101 hostages will be returned. I'm writing this on Erev Rosh Hashanah and am thinking back to 2020 when Ruth Bader Ginsberg died and how everyone talks about how it meant she was a righteous women and what this means for the 101 hostages. I don't want to think bad things but I can't help but think about it still. Praying for a safe return still a year later feels surreal. The pressure from the world to have a ceasefire during ramadan was LOUD and I'm not shocked but I'm upset that I have not heard a single non - jewish person speak out about this. About how Iran attacked just days before the holidays begin. And how Hamas attacked on Simchat Torah. I just recently learned that the "dirtiest" word in Judaism is "coincidence" because we are supposed to believe that everything that happens to us is because of divine providence and a greater power. I am angry with this mentality but I still believe it. How could God let this happen to our people? Haven't we been through enough? Overall I feel tired. Tired of having to defend the Jewish people, our right to exist in the holy land Israel, and fearing for my safety for being a proud Jew.

I became a father! So relieved and grateful that everyone is healthy. Exhausted like I’ve never been. Feeling a sense of purpose like I’ve never had. It’s the extremes across the board- the most frustrated I’ve ever been, the most delight I’ve ever felt. Overall BH, we have a healthy baby boy.

On my birthday, my husband and I went wine tasting with my daughter and her partner. As we consider our retirement and moving away from her, I thought that this day with them in a beautiful part of California would make me not want to leave. However, as we listened to her and her partner talk about their lives and plans together, I realized, quite overtly: She's launched. From that, I felt a freedom to lean into my own future irrespective of hers. We will continue to grow and love together, but we won't necessarily be planning our lives around each other in this next season. This feels freeing and inspiring.

I completed my conversion in April. Upon completing my third immersion in the mikveh, I felt like I was finally at home where I always belonged. I felt, and still feel, immensely grateful to be a Jew.

My mom died in July. It wasn't really unexpected, yet I was thrown off balance. The finality is sometimes hard to acknowledge, knowing that I'll never be able to share things with her again. Grief comes at unexpected times, out of the blue. I am trying not to ignore it... Her death also brought my own mortality into sharp focus.

Reaching out to Susan and Lydia. Clearing the air. No regrets. Speaking at Pride Shabbat service. Being authentic! Helping others where I can. Being available. Cruising through life, day to day. Still concerned about finances, even though I have had more than enough for years! Too much sitting. Starting a regular practice of walking.

I started my conservative Judaism conversion. It changed how I looked at the world and how I viewed my role in it and how I viewed G-d. It honestly feels like I finally came home, to the place I have always meant to be. It feels like I found my family that I was missing. I am grateful and excited.

After being told I was prediabetic, I googled what to do about it, and I found out there is a CDC-sponsored diabetes prevention program. I do it once a week via Zoom, and it has been AMAZING. The CDC designed the curriculum, and they authorize nutritionists all over the country to deliver it. Some nutritionists offer it it person, others via Zoom. Some will cover the cost for you using grant money if you don’t have insurance. I highly recommend it. Google CDC diabetes prevention program. I’ve lost 16 pounds, and I am no longer prediabetic. They send you books and a food scale and a bathroom scale. FREE. The program taught me things I didn’t know about food, and I got past the plateau where I always used to falter when trying to lose weight. I feel hopeful about my weight and my health for the first time in decades. My kids still need me; I want to be around for them as long as possible.

My parents returned from their sabbatical in Australia this year. Their time there was hard for me, but I was so delighted to see them make a new home, lean into their adventurous side and grow even closer with my sister. It felt good to know that they were prioritizing themselves, and that I could feel entirely supportive of them even though I was affected. Now that they have returned, I get to enjoy a little extra time back while continuing to support them in their efforts to eventually make it back there.

My grandmother died it has affected me in everything I do It made and still makes me feel hopeless but strong I know I can make her proud if i keep pushing and I succeed. When I make it big and succeed it will be for her

I lost my job (they made me demote) and moved to a new store. After a few months, they promoted me to where I was, with the same pay! It was good for me to step down for a bit, get used to the new store, and remember what things looked like at that level. I think it has made me better at my job, and I'm grateful.

I finally started workshop to teach people draw and paint. It s my child's dream that is hapening. I feel gratefull towards all the people who supported and support me, happy to see students getting confidents and proud of themself, and the impact that it have.

Almost exactly one year ago Israel was invaded, 1200 people killed and 100+ taken hostage. The implications for me concern my understanding of and relationship with my son. He admits to never having felt any antisemitism. He is much like me at his age - everything is black and white. So to him, Israel is the colonial occupier and always has been. Israel is in the wrong - entirely. There is no grey for him. To his credit, he and I can discuss it, but it's hard. He doesn't feel the need for a homeland. He doesn't feel unsafe because he is a Jew. He cannot feel the heartache I have that, for the first time in my life, I'm not proud to be a Jew. It has brought us closer, but it is a hard yet essential ongoing conversation.

I completed the coaching program I started just over one year ago, continued with the certification program, maintaining 5 paying clients as I completed the program, and now I have 10 paying clients. Today, I am scheduling my oral exam in order to be fully certified as a coach. I have found purpose and fulfillment in coaching, helping others transform their lives. In support of this, I have a coach, a posse of support, continued learning, a website, and so much more that moves me towards my career goals as a coach. Roderick Institute or Bust!

I have seen my mother's mental acuity decline. It's been very hard for me and has brought a lot of uncomfortable and painful feelings. I don't like the new her as much as the old her. I feel guilty about that. I am impatient with her, and I feel guilty about that. I don't want to spend time with her, even though I know she wants to spend time with me, and I feel both guilty and anxious about that--worried that later I will regret it. I feel angry with her about things she's done in the past, but she's not even that person anymore, so my anger is useless--is useless in any case--and just hangs there, eating at me and making me less kind than I'd like to be toward her. I miss the old her. And under it all, I am terrified that the same thing might happen to me. I keep reminding myself that half of my genetics come from my dad, who is still sharp as a tack.

I think my most significant experience would be finishing my poetry book and sending it for publication. It’s something I have wanted to for a long time, and it was a great way for me to kind of reflect on my life. It affected me greatly. I am immensely grateful for it because it pushed me to start looking at my past traumas and the way they have affected me my entire life. Previously, I have always kind of ignored these things and framed them as “yeah, it was bad, but others have been through worse”. Which is true, but I never dealt with the trauma effectively.

October 7th changed everything. This whole year has been surreal, the death and hatred, the local antisemitism, campus protests and encampments. Just last night Iran attacked Israel (for the 2nd time) with hundreds of ballistic missiles, but BH, no one was injured. Nova. Instagram being full of prayers for soldiers. Names of soldiers who fall in Gaza. Hersh Goldberg-Polin, the hostages. I'm so grateful for Israel and the IDF and Iron Dome and our shul and our schools. My family. I really just want to be with Dan and my kids.

The attack on Israel on October 7 rocked the world, mine included. I could not have imagined the antisemitism that has come over this country following that event. I could not have imagined not feeling safe as a Jew in America but that is now a reality. I don't know what the solution will be, but I need to find my own peace again and figure out what if anything I can do about it.

We got a rescue pup!! It has been a huuuuuge journey, but it's been really rewarding despite almost breaking me. I really struggled with the behavioural challenges & found myself crying almost every day. It got to a point where I'd stopped looking after myself, and was struggling with finding a reason to get up in the mornings. He's almost as big as me, so when he lunged at people, cars, birds, planes, it filled me with a rush of adrenaline and fear. I felt so resentful of him, felt like my life was over and that we were trapped in this impossible situation where we were stuck with a dog we couldnt walk or would have to give him back to a rescue we know wouldnt be able to rehome him. We have since invested so much time and energy into training and trust and he has vastly improved to the extent where I now enjoy walks with him. He's still got a ways to go but there's light at the end of the tunnel & he's a part of our family hopefully for the long run.

Well, I’m typing this on a phone, finally with a bit of cell service, after surviving Hurricane Helene. We are so lucky. Our house is in tact, and we finally have power. No water, though. They say that might be a month or more. Our community, however, is utterly devastated. Whole neighborhoods gone. Businesses gone. Loved ones, gone. I’m just beginning to process what has happened. We are living day by day, doing what we can to help out. Trying to figure out if we should leave town via one of the only open roads, and save the resources for others who need them more. I love this city. I can’t really get my head around the loss. My brain isn’t functioning clearly yet, and I get shaky all the time. Day before yesterday, I broke down—just lost it, after days of holding it together. All of this on top of the loss of my father. He died August 30. I haven’t had time to grieve.

Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired? I suppose it is quite significant that I celebrated the BIG 7-0!! t was quite a celebration, too! Went to NJ for Thanksgiving to visit Michelle and her crazy family in-laws AND for a surprise she bought us ticket to the Beautiful Noise – the Neil Diamond play on Broadway! The play was awful, it closed a few month later, but hanging out with my “baby” was sensational! (So was the pizza!) THEN, Tandy invites me to Houston – love seeing her and kids, and LOVE CC candy and Houston Diary Maids… maybe a bit more of the latter. THEN, she totally shocked me with tickets to see Les Miz which was in Houston! Tells me her girlfriend told her about it, asked her to go and SHE replied “I ONLY see Les Miz with my mommy! Great time with family. Kim finally decided not to hate me, but I’ve still not been invited up north to see her and she doesn’t visit when they’re down here, so I still haven’t seen her kids for 10 years? Little steps are fine. Then, for the actual celebration, we spent a fantastic weekend in Solvang. Did a wine tour with a great couple and I had a WINE of a time! Still can’t wrap my head around the fact I’m in the 7’s. As the saying goes, it was a lot more fun being 20 in the 70’s then being 70 in the 20’s! Job wise my anti-Semitism complaint netted me a $5,000 settlement, not nearly enough but I just didn’t want it hanging around, so I took the money. Signed up to work the polls in Nov – did not interact well with the leader and she reported that I had cursed which I probably did, but a warning would have been nice, but instead she call the main office to complain and I was fired! Went to work at Macy’s for 2 months – it was a total NIGHTMARE and since one of the bitches didn’t like me, she made up some story about my having a gun, and I was fired AGAIN!… on Monday, and HIRED on Friday by AZ heating and air back at Costco where I am today. Great environment, long hours and not enough $ that I hope will change when of these sales close. Just hope I don’t get FIRED from this and I can write I’m still there this time next year! Tandy and the boys flew out for a VERY short visit, about an hour!, but it was still fun seeing her and how much her kids have grown, as all kids do. And I guess it is very significant that Bill and I celebrated Anniversary #43 – and I still love the dude – ditto him – guess that’s something!

Granddaughter from Hawaii started college in Az and time spent is precious.

I lost my grandmother at the beginning of 2024. A new year started with a lot of hope that was quickly dashed. I’ve felt a ton of guilt for not being a better grandchild; relieved that the end was painless and peaceful; confusion about what happens next. I am still overcome with waves of sorrow that hit me straight in the gut once in a while. I’ll be fine, and then the next minute bent in half sobbing wordlessly. It feels like whiplash.

My husband of 55 years passed away. The empty space is massive. I am not angry, mostly sad. I ache to talk to him, to laugh with him. I live each day but always know it is without him.

My brother died suddenly this year. He did not have the best health however we hadn't thought he would go so young: 66. Just 3 years older than me. It has really shaken me. We had a tough relationship but I loved him. I'm glad we had a positive visit before this happened. I am sad that he probably just couldn't cope any more and gave up :( Health has become something I think more and more about now, daily.

I feel like in the past year many things happend (Going on Erasmus, moving from Bern „for good“, starting a new internship) But breaking up with Diego would probably be the one that seems most significant to me right now (being in the bathroom at Christine‘s House in Aix en Provence) I‘m not sure if I can already say how it affects me in the long term because right now I feel so so heartbroken. I‘m not even resentful. I don‘t regret anything, because I gave all the love I have. Maybe I will be grateful one day. That i got to explore the world by myself, to have had different view on life to reinvent myself after being with someone so long. Maybe. Maybe I‘ll be inspired too. But right now I‘m just trying to build myself back up. Trying not to cast a negative light on the love and the moments we shared because I know they were genuine. And maybe there will be good coming from this loss. I really want to belive so.