What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year?
I think I have a fear of my relationship ending. If I even consider the possibility, I start down the path of hurting him so severely, but also the idea of starting from scratch is terrifying. And I think when I worry about issues, having the option for things to end is almost comforting. Like if the issues are insurmountable, there is an escape. But also, I really do love him and I believe most of our issues can be worked through. I am hoping that I can relax a little bit and go with the flow (lol) and see how things feel. The overthinking is what gets me into trouble more than anything else. I am trying to remember (as I learn this more and more) that a relationship is a choice. And that if we really love each other and want the same things generally, we can make anything work. Or we could decide it's not worth it, but again, decide is the key word. It's a choice each and every step of the way and doesn't necessarily ever get "easy".
My fear of failure has always stopped me. Now (October 2022) and this coming year, I'm going to pass myself past my fear of failure and trust that I can do anything I put my mind to. Sounds easier said than done but when I finally tried something new like pole. I got better with practice. I need to remember the same in all areas of my life.
Being open. Working on it.
I have fear around the strength of my relationship. I let me thoughts become my feelings. I don't let my heart speak all the time. Sometimes I do. I sell him short. I don't see his shining moments as sparkling and bright as I should because they dont resonate the same. I want to dive deeply back into his heart and stay there. Swimming around, proud, safe, and in love with my love for him.
My answer here is again the same as last year. This fear of aging past my prime without ever having been in a relationship kind of terrifies me, less than the aging itself. It's hard to really say when my "prime" is, but it certainly feels like I'm in it, and it won't last forever. I feel time moving faster with each passing year. This fear has limited me by paralyzing me and making me feel helpless. But, I'm starting to realize that I have more control over this than I think. I can't snap my fingers and make a partner appear, but I can manifest one the same way I manifested my job - through diligence, hope, and personal growth. There is some sweet spot to be had between being proactive in searching for a partner and focusing on my own goals and betterment, and I think I'm starting to move towards that sweet spot. I've done so by being more active on dating apps, going on more dates, and asking friends to think of potential matches for me. I can continue this process with working on my body and getting into better sleep patterns - these will go a long way in not just my outward attractiveness and how I carry myself, but in my mental clarity and confidence. Maybe I can model myself after the kind of person I'm looking for, and that person just might show up.
fear is that I won't take care of business, that once again I'll fail to step up and be a grown up, it'll be the same old same old
Fear of becoming rich, greedy, uncaring, exploitative. Writing a new story about wealth and wealthy. Giving new meaning to whaat it means to be wealthy Daily Really it is writing a new story of what it means to be me.
I fear not actually being good at anything. And it has held me back again and again. I want to allow myself to believe in myself.
That I'm stuck with mental illness (depression, anxiety, CPTSD) and ADHD as I know it, forever. It's held me back in over-fixation and trying to solve myself BEFORE I go enjoy myself and my life and what's around me. That's the fear I'm handing over now and letting go of. AND, I'm letting go of overthinking and over-managing, over-striving, over-researching, over-fretting about it. ****** The fear that's limited me? The usual. Death. Illness. Or rather, incapacitation and/or end of life before I've done what I want and enjoy with mine. It's held me back by adding to my freeze response & keeping me still.... I'm now letting that go.
After a bad spill, I now have a fear of roller skating. I’ve signed up for weekly skating lessons to push myself into just getting back on my quads. But it has been extremely terrifying for me. The sensation of just standing on my skates is like having to jump into the deep end of a pool without knowing how to swim. I’m hoping that by learning how to fall properly, I can overcome my fears of skating. But I really need to get into the habit of practicing every. single. day. More than anything else, this is the best thing I can do to overcome my fear as each time I get just a little bit more comfortable on skates again.
I am frightened of facing up to my financial situation. It's limiting me because I feel stuck, and I don't know where to go to sort myself out, or how to do it. I want to live within my means and to clear my debt, I want to buy a home... I think I need to talk it through with a professional, if that's a thing?
I have no idea. I have such limited time to myself as a lone parent-carer that I struggle to find the space to explore any fears that so have. I support my only fear is being stuck in a rut, but I also know the onus is on me to push past that in myself.
Being rejected and having my ideas dismissed. It prevented me opening up to people. Removing some people from the circle I deal with regularly.
I don't really know. I'm coming out of a period of not feeling much of anything. (I did too much and I did too much at once and basically shut down for a week. Things are better, but not entirely.) Maybe I've been fearing loneliness and isolation. I've been trying to reintegrate myself into society as certain elements of my life stabilize, so the idea of losing the ties I have to other people and to my material reality is quite frightening again.
I fear for my safety and comfort. I am trying to build confidence and get out there in the world
Fear of injury on the skateboard. Start small, build up.
My biggest thing right now is social anxiety, feeling left out, feeling like i don't fit in. worrying people don't really want me around. Being afraid to engage people. afraid to put myself out there. Especially in dealing with the opposite sex... but certainly not limited to them. I've always struggled with this. from a very, very young age, But i certainly think some of the progress i had made has been lost and backslid during the pandemic I need to work on this in the coming year. Being comfortable with myself so i can engage people, but in a non clutchy way so i can disengage if i'm not received well, and have it not be a big deal
Always fear of failure. I don't think I'll let it go or overcome it in the coming year. ... Well, maybe I'll let it go. Care 20% less and all that. Admit failure and I don't have to fear its coming anymore?
Since at least January, and some times more than others, I've felt that I'm languishing living at home. I'm worried that I'm not growing and learning and am to some extent having life pass me by. Most of this feeling comes from the consequences of taking covid seriously: having a small social circle, reducing social outings, and what I miss most: reducing the number of spontaneous encounters. Since my summer covid meltdown in June, I have gradually come to a better place with covid and have increased the number of social gatherings, like the softball league I joined in August/September. I miss the freedom I had in college to see as many people as I wanted and attend as many gatherings as I wanted without fear of acquiring a potentially disabling virus. I am going to continue assessing what I am comfortable with and doing that (because it is easy to enter the doom mindset and withdraw into myself). I can tell I am becoming more comfortable with the idea of having a roommate if I were to move out, but I am not there yet.
I still have not really made any new friends. Part of this is just having bandwidth to include new people in my life. Another aspect is that men from my generation eschew closeness to other men. I still have my best friends from back home who are always there for me. I just am not accessible to other people that way. Perhaps someday in this next year (after grad school) I can make more time for myself
I have a fear of not being needed. I have a fear of stepping out more on my own and not being the person responsible for everything. I can see that, at this stage, I am not helping my kids develop skills they need or helping my spouse develop skills they should have been encouraged in decades ago when I try to do everything for everyone. I fear having my feelings, showing my feelings, and not always being the calm and collected person who holds it all together even as things fall apart around me.
I am happy to accept what is.
My fear has been that I am not good and educated enough for the vision I want to bring to this world. I was fearing that people aren´t ready for my future vision, do not want it or will not support me and I will be standing left alone and abandoned, misunderstood and laughed at like I was in childhood. Now that I have guided 7 women through my heart compass course I am assured that I got enough talent, am skilled enough and that people really want what I have to offer. On top of that I always exceed their expectations when they work with me. I am ready to bring my dream and vision into the world, just like it has always been in me and I was confirmed through the Golden Path that I am right on track and in these past days everything has fallen into place mentally for me and I feel that I am getting more and more ready day by day until one day soon I will go out their and share my vision and attract the people that want to be a part of it or share my ideals, too and want to become the best version of themselves as well.
I fear not being enough or not doing enough. I’m trying to practice being proud of what I achieve and feeling ok about having time to rest and saying no to doing things for others.
Fear of loss. I'm not sure
becoming more reluctant to leave home, as beneficial as that is to growth and enjoyment. at least i am pro-active in scheduling medical appointments to make sure there's nothing lurking.
I fear that the health scares that happened with my family members will start to impact me personally, my own physical well being. I need to meditate more and let that go.
My fear is my joint health, and trying to manage my pain. Hopefully, I can run 🏃♂️ better next year
Making the wrong choice. It's limited me by creating a lot of distress around decisions and often that results in my capacity being low at the time of the actual thing. This is my work for years, but I am leaning into curiosity and resilience. And taking care of myself as a good way to orient.
Fear of driving. I do not know.
Fear of failing with CMMT and then needing to look for a job and not finding one. It limits my bigger thinking about CMMT, about me, and me and CMMT taking risks needed to succeed. Talk about it with Christy, with coaches, and talk about how to let it go. I may need to fail, or stumble, in order to let go of the fear.
That I'm incapable of being loved. I have no idea how to move beyond this, answers on a postcard.
I fear making the wrong decisions. It's something that has plagued me ever since I can remember. I get so caught up in making the best decision for present and future me (and all other people involved) that I usually end up paralyzed. This leads me to rarely changing the status quo, which is in itself a decision. This year I need to make decisions which get me toward the life I want, and I can always adjust as necessary.
I’m afraid that what’s left of my life will be as dreary and soul-destroying as it is now. I can’t see how it could improve and lots of ways it can get worse as I get older. I have no idea how to overcome this fear as I barely have enough energy to function let alone change anything. Sorry.
This year especially I feel like the biggest fear I had is the idea that I wasn't going to achieve my goals and I was going to be left behind. My personality of being a people pleaser has really been tested this year and made me feel like if I don't get what I want, I won't be happy. This up and coming year I plan on focusing on myself and doing things that make me happy and maintaining time for myself and doing things that make me happy.
I fear being alone and I fear being suffocated and limited by others. This year, I want to welcome both those selves to the table and make peace. Perhaps a more integrated me can find a way forward.
Fear of being poor. Fear of not being comfortable. I answered this last year. We think we want a third child but my fear is the financial impact of that continues to paralyze me.
I guess my fear of not living life to the fullest, not using my full potential, missing out on future opportunities if I slow down now, has prevented me from hitting the breaks sooner and getting the rest that I need. I've made huge progress in this regard in the past year and I anticipate the upcoming year, with my sick-leave running out and having to apply for disability, will enable me to fully focus on myself as a career won't even be an option. Of course that fear of financial repercussions and lack of future job opportunities will persist, but by having the power taken out of my hands, I will be forced to accept reality as is and let those fears go.
I am afraid of messing up as a parent. Afraid of getting angry, afraid of saying something mean and messing up my kids’ confidence, afraid of how impatient I can be and whether I’m creating anxious kids. The first step to overcoming this is to slow down myself, deal with my own anxiety, and be kind to my own heart. Getting exercise and being more self aware when I’m getting spun out is the first step to calming down my reactions and communication with my kids.
I find this to be a difficult question to answer without referring back to the ye ol' confinement answer. In my current job, I take an elevator everyday, multiple times a day. Noticing how well I manage this makes me feel a bit of pride. Thought I realised on Friday night that the security team had gone home and should I get stuck, I would be left there depending on Jean and only having my muffins to get me through the weekend? Luckily I did not get trapped but instead could not locate my phone and had to engage the last people in the building in a search and rescue operation. So what is my fear? Taking up space. Asking for help. Feeling foolish. I see how difficult this is for me when it comes to tech things. Having to ask the same questions again and again and feeling the need to belittle myself in those situations. So I want to be less apologetic where I do not need to be. I want to be more assertive of the space I require and deserve.
That I will be outed as a bad person. That people don’t like me. That I am the wrong type of person.
Im concerned that my breast cancer will come back Its kept me kind of paralyzed Plan on being bold brave and keeping positive and keep moving!!
Fearing that i have been not enough, loveable or desirable I hope to lean into believing people when they say the love me or like me and not constantly worrying about how I come off
That I am bothering people. I have held off asking for help in fear of being a burden. During my time at Towson, people have gone out of their way to let me know that not only am I not a burden but people really enjoy my company. I hope I can hold on those warm feelings that people have shared with me.
The fear of letting go. Of ending up alone. Of being with myself. Gladly last few months I learned to live with myself, and with my own company. And I am kinda liking it. But for the near future, it is the "letting go" that causes me some trouble. I will need to let go of many things in the following months. Of material things (from my storage room in Berlin) to people, my ex (to finish that process for good), to old friendships that are either not in my life anymore, or are not friendships. To let go of some dreams, plans and, expectations. So I get the space and the strength to have new dreams, new plans, and new expectations. Old habits die hard… but what I want to read from that, is that they die! Maybe I should say “old habits disappear hard”. I want to remove the word “die” from the everyday talk (my phone died, I’m dead, It is to die for). With all that is happening in the world, I think we should give Death a bit more of the respect it deserves.
I fear loss and illness. It keeps me reliant upon medications and in fear for my family. I try to overcome by going to church, living in the moment and not in some imagined scary future. I try to stop negative thoughts and enjoy every single second of love in my life.
I have a constant fear of mass shootings. I think about it every time I drop my kids off, I think about it every time I am walking in a mall. It limits me in saying yes to certain events like parades and concerts. Wherever I go, I am looking for the nearest hiding place and how I am going to run out of harms way with my kids. I do not know if it's possible to let this go with our current gun laws and climate.
I fear that revealing myself fully is not safe. I have worked on this for decades (through psychotherapy, and myriad healing modalities). In trying to write my book, deeply-held emotions have come to the surface - how much can I share? what is safe? will I ever be free of the shame about somethings that I’ve done or that were done to me? how can I say what has been in a way that I don’t frighten or demoralize myself? - and many other related issues about being honest and fully myself. I know that many would find that surprising as I actually have the capacity to reveal a lot and I do when I know it will help others to grow. Only I know the deeper parts of myself that I’ve never really shared, even possibly with myself. I hope that by being as brave as I can in the writing process will be the next level of healing for me.
I fear not being good enough and not living my best life. I have an insatiable desire to make something in this world better. At the same time I’m paralyzed by fear, making choices based on the potential of reducing bad outcomes rather than striving for something better. I hope I can find a way to hope and to let something better into my life. Last year‘s answer also still feels relevant: I fear not being enough, both for myself and those I love. I hope I’m gaining the tools to move forward from the stifling feelings of inadequacy. I’m not sure if acknowledging the fear is allowing it to grow or potentially leading to a better path.
I'm afraid of judgement. Afraid of not being "enough." Afraid of being a "burden." And with those fears, sometimes I ignore my own boundaries and consent, or change myself in the hopes that I might possibly be more palatable to others. Which also scares me. That I don't listen to myself. There's a lot of shame tied up in it. Both in the self-judgement that leads me to ignore my own needs and wants, and then also after, when I realise that's what I did. I'm terrified of having needs and Especially of having desires. I think growing up in xtianity and socialised as female, I was repeatedly taught that having needs and wants was selfish. That other's needs and wants Always took precedent. And being autistic, I got repeatedly told—both explicitly and implicitly—that I was Weird, in a "bad" way. I learned to mask my autism. To try to fit in. To mirror what other people said, did, and liked. To appease. I'm trying to learn to love myself. To not edit and hide my autistic self for allistic peoples' comfort. To claim what I love, even if other people think it's silly, cheesy, cringe, immature... I'm trying to unmask. To stim. To let myself be nonverbal when I need to be. To be weird. Eccentric. Odd. Finding autistic chosen family has helped a Lot with that. Finding people who don't love me because I meet a certain standard of "normal." People where we can be weird, together. Turns out, when I'm around autistic people, I'm mostly an extrovert. Allistics are just so frequently exhausting that I thought I was Way more introverted than I am. I'm working on it in therapy. Working to unlearn the appease response. To be gentle with my trauma. unlearn and relearn. To trust myself. To allow myself to need things. To Want things. Becoming bedbound really forced me to let people help me with my needs. It's still hard, but it's a Lot harder when it comes to things I want, that aren't directly responsible for my physical survival. I'm terrified of being a burden. Of accidentally putting my so-called wants in front of others' needs. Another thing helping me heal from it has been exploring conversion to Judaism. Someone at shul pointed out that a lot of things framed as "unnecessary" or "wants" in Christian society are... actually pretty crucial to survival? Joy matters. Mental health matters. Spiritual needs are Needs. They are Crucial. Maslow's hierarchy of needs is pretty fucked-up, actually. Unlearning Christian Values. Learning Jewish Values. Naming my desires with people who are safe. Letting myself want things. Letting myself be vulnerable. I'm so proud of how far I've come, how much I've healed. And I'm... grateful to be growing my support networks to support me as I continue to unlearn, relearn, and heal.
My biggest fear is rejection. In my professional and my personal life. It has limited me greatly - I worked too much, I tried too hard to please - and it affected my energy levels and joie de vivre and my health and overall quality of life. I was almost manic in many ways because I was so worried people at my work and my partner might want to drop me, think badly of me or that they were disappointed and upset by me. It really has to change, this constant striving to be liked, loved, appreciated. I want to see a therapist again and work on this. And I want to be more conscious about it and look after myself more, work on being more healthily egotistical, for self-protection purposes. I want to be more aware of my comfort and how to create and defend it.
I'm afraid I have cancer — and I won't find out for another 38 days because of the NHS. I'm afraid of being a failure as a creative and having to move back in with my parents. I don't really know how to get over that one — make money, I guess? I know, I know, it's the mental work really. But the money wouldn't NOT help.
I’ve feared I lack the ability to work towards bettering our world beyond my caring & my prayers. I feel that those do make an important contribution and I want to add concrete steps to that. By being aware that there’s far too much to do I hope to feel comfortable limiting myself to one specific act at a time so that I don’t get overwhelmed & then just do nothing (other than feel guilty!).
I've spent a lot of time fearing looking like a fool and/or being judged when I engage in physical activity. I have been starting to get out more and do more things. Next week I'm even talking to someone about starting adult ballet classes!
I fear my parents dying before we can have a healthier relationship. Because of this I still wrestle with myself when I put up boundaries, even if they are absolutely needed, even if I know I am doing it for my own mental, spiritual and sometimes even physical health. "Tomorrow is never promised" has turned into a weapon against me. I am trying to pray that my parents live long enough for reconciliation and healthy habits may be established. I am trying to be more firm and consistent in expressing both my needs and my boundaries with them. I'm trying to remember that it's just as, if not more, important to have a HEALTHY relationship than to have any relationship with them.
Fear of being old and infirm has really grown over the last couple of years for me. There are understandable reasons for this, but I know it's up to me to continue to regenerate a verve and gusto for life. To try and stay young at heart.
Fear of disappointing others drives me to push myself and not prioritize my needs. This year I want to notice my needs and be willing to disappoint others before disappointing myself at least a third of the time.
Awareness of just how vulnerable poverty and disability make me to those with wealth and power who sacrifice the lives of people like me in order to increase their wealth or power I fear that politicians from all parties will continue to sacrifice the poor who can no longer work for their political agendas and personal success—that there won't be enough voices to speak up on our behalf to protect us. This leaves me fearing I'll be left without my basic needs. It affects my daily life as I deal with both physical pain and poverty I'm doing all I can to raise awareness and support in my circles, to speak out and encourage others to speak
The word “Groomers” captures some of it. Someone else’s shame and attack focused on the act of teaching Sex Ed makes me scared to do the thing I know is needed, even though I know it’s important. Fear takes over and silences. Fear of bullies, who don’t get you, who mock and fear and attack, who want to drag you up in front of everyone and harass you. Living in Texas that is just every day. But I work to get out from under it. I know what I believe is important. But then yesterday I was out dancing for my birthday and got embarrassed when somebody started shouting “hey, hey, hey” rhythmically, jumping and pointing at me like a hype man, as if he wanted other people to look at me and I just froze cold. I didn’t understand and I just stood still, and he stopped. It was really cool, an 80s goth song with lots of heavy guitar. You could mix 80s dancing with head-banging and it was great and I was having such fun. When he stopped drawing attention to me I could go back to having fun again. So how will I be a working artist if I am scared of a little hype? At the congregation when I speak it’s clear that it is not about me, I think. Also what I have to say is written down. I am getting better at silence. Slowly. Talking to my friend Julia who was as sad and maybe sadder than I was during COVID took me down from my cheerful make-the-best-of-it perch. On the rocky beach where we met in masks she was speaking earnestly, tentatively, and while in pain, trying to hold all that she could in her heart and speak from this bleak place. I wanted to listen, yes, but after that to joke and make light and lift and help us feel better, I feel like when I see a friend I want to be real but also focus on and sip up that joy, I want to bring her joy if she is low and it is one way I manage depression. But she couldn’t go there with me too any place of lightness, and I couldn’t read her face or expressions, and it actually held me in my grief in a way that hurt but was authentic. I wondered if our friendship was doomed because I couldn’t penetrate any of her gloom with any joy, joy which I needed too. I thought that was part of my job? To make us laugh. But it wasn’t, it was just being in pain, fearing for the environment, fearing for our people, not being able to hug or connect, together. Every word she spoke seemed to cause her pain, to come from a deep tender place. She was speaking from deep grief, from misery, and not knowing when it would end. This was the first trip I took after the vaccine was available. And we both eventually got happier. And I didn’t have to do a job or act out a fantasy in order to be valuable, or chart an intentional course into uplift. I would like to rest in that deep place, knowing deeply my purpose and my experience, in each moment, like walking meditation - not hurried, nowhere to be, lift-move-place, I have arrived, I am home. Because knowing why you are here and why you are doing ___, that is where you look haters in the eye, you don’t have to make it better for them, you just have to be you, in peace and honesty, you can hear their words and listen, but it doesn’t signify. I have been afraid of that, I was raised evangelical and I do not love the mindset where you just block out any critics. It is a not a great way to live as an ethical person. But I think I can be discerning in who I allow to be a critic that gets to connect. I can set boundaries and take in information wisely, and know my own purpose well enough to make that call and not just acquiesce, to escape the discomfort of being looked at. Silence = Death.
I still deeply fear fully expressing myself in ways that alienate others. This is why I have not ended my marriage - it would cause such incredible change that it is scary. This is a complex fear that includes the fear of giving up part of my own self-image (I made a promise - I have to keep it no matter what) and fundamentally redefining who I am and what my values are. Yikes!! Many of the other fears I’ve faced over my life, I have better understood and I now work with to make my life better. That’s a LOT of progress. With one more big hurdle to go.
Últimamente se me han despertado muchos miedos que antes no eran tan fuertes ni con tanto poder. Tengo miedo a la vida, miedo al rechazo, miedo a no ser suficiente, miedo a lesionarse y tener que estar parada. Miedo a perder a mis padres sin resolver conflictos desde el amor. Miedo a la pérfida y miedo al fracaso. Quiero volver a reconectar con la valentía y con el valor, el amor propio
The world is a really frightening place at the moment. So many global crises - climate, cost of living, possibility of nuclear war - and so little time! I don't really know what I can do about most of those. I used to think I could fight the climate crisis by just doing my bit, recycling, driving an electric car, not flying, buying ethically etc. But it's becoming increasingly clear that individual action will not make a big enough difference, change has to come structurally, and that really frightens me because the capitalist system is not going to allow this! I don't really know how I can let go of or overcome these big global fears so let's draw a veil over them. Personally, I'm still very scared of failure and I really need to work on accepting that. We talked about it a bit during my counselling earlier this year, and it's definitely something I want to delve into a little deeper if I ever manage to do any coaching or similar. Funnily enough, it really helps when I see public figures make gigantic errors and still keep their jobs (looking at you, Kwasi Kwarteng...)
In response to last year: I don't fear the let-go anymore because it keeps happening but I'm excited about new possibilities now that I'm approaching this job search with a different lens. My only real fear is not being able to afford my condo but I'm trying not to think too hard about it. I just need to do what I need to do to save money. That's all.
The fear of birth was a big one. But the pregnancy course that I took really made it human and less scary. Continually seeing and learning about positive birth stories will help me overcome it
I have a fear of succumbing to the same darkness that has overtaken so many of my family members. I can see how they have attempted to fill the dark holes in their spirits with alcohol, drugs, overeating, gossip, slander, judgement, shame, control, abuse. This is the family that raised me and shaped my mother into who she is. They can be loving, generous, tender, and playful, but I can also see the deep pain that they feel over the tragedies which have befallen our family (of which there have been so many that are either personal, systemic, or just plain random). I see how they project that pain onto other people and I am scared of repeating that pattern. I plan on overcoming this for the rest of my life by being actively aware of the cycles that I was unconsiously brought into and making use of every opportunity I have to step out of them by making a different choice. By committing to a nonviolent way of being in which I communicate openly and honestly, where I regulate myself before attempting to regulate others, and I stay attuned to my emotions rather than smothering them with escapist tendencies.
I fear that I will have lived in vain. I want to be useful in some way to someone. I want to complete the 12 steps
Wow. I think all my answers have had to do with fear, haven't they? Fear of the losses that accompany ageing, fear of economic instability/inadequacy, fear of being incapable and irresponsible. What would it be like to feel like I'm starting from a place of competence and self-assurance? To not feel like I'm perpetually in need of "fixing" or saving or rescuing? >>>>>I'd like to always feel good enough as I am, right here, right now.<<<<<
I have improved but still need to improve my fear of initiating contact with others. It affects my ability to make and maintain friendships.
I am scared of living rurally! I am scared that there won't be people that we want to be friends with. Also I'm scared that we're buying all this land and what if I don't actually want to farm? What if this is all a waste? What if we buy all this land and house and then can't find a job and can't pay our mortgage and have to drain our savings and then we can't have kids? I'm letting it go by... doing all these things. Buying the farm. Moving to a small town. Quitting my job. Seeing what happens.
I am afraid to tell people know and let others no what I need. I never put myself first. I don’t tell others no, even when I know I’m about to burn out. I worry constantly that I am letting others down if I say no. I always want to help but can’t do it at the cost of my mental healthy.
I have always secretly feared being mediocre. Having grown up being praised for my intelligence and then slowly watching myself slip behind through college and law school, I haven’t exerted myself because I didn’t want to be confronted with the realization I was merely “just ok”. This has also prevented me from reaching for things I care about too. Talking to my best friend has made me realize my law degree has given me skills the average person doesn’t have and that I can (and should) start considering how to galvanize this for good. Perhaps this upcoming year I can consider this more as something to do in the years to come when I return to work.
Worrying too much about what I think other people think of people makes me feel stressed out when I'm overwhelmed and worried about getting everything done. Being kinder to myself, recognizing that "my best" changes day to day depending on all the things going on, will help.
I'm afraid of catching Covid, so I don't go to big indoor events, or a lot of things, but this is a realistic fear. Every time someone travels, they get it. Every time someone goes to a big event, they get it. It's not something I can overcome or let go. Some fears are realistic and we should be afraid of them. If you are standing in front of a bear and it is attacking you, maybe it is reasonable to be afraid.
I have always feared being unloved and unlovable. As a child, I desperately craved unconditional love due to an abusive parent who cut off contact from the parent who loved me. I now believe that the only people who owed me unconditional love were my parents and the only people to whom I owe unconditional love are any future children and the animals I choose to bring into my home. There are people I love and who have earned the benefit of the doubt when they miss the mark, and I have earnt the benefit of the doubt from other people as well. People I love and people who love me. I think realising this has somehow made me less of a people pleaser, but I learned how to be less of a people pleaser well before I learned how to stop caring what people think of me. I am scared of losing myself to please others, but I am terrified of being too self centred and not caring about others. I think the goal is to stick to my values of standing up for myself and others while seeing the humanity in everyone. Holding myself and others accountable. Caring less about being popular and more about being a person.
fear of change. fear of losing our home. trust myself. trust the universe
Failure. I guess I'm just gonna say fuck it and do the things.
Well, i used to be scared of changing my job, but i did it and it’s great. Now on to the marriage. I think fixing is out is the question. Ending it may be the only option. That is scary and difficult. I fear dying alone and being eaten by my cats. 🥹
From reading the previous year's answer, I think I still fear uncertainty and failure, and I guess it'll continue to lurk there. The good thing is, since I'm more aware of it, I consciously try to face it head on from time to time. I think I'm getting better with being at peace with it. Bit by bit. The fear I wanna highlight this year is fear of imperfection... Of being mediocre. Through my learning process in design and my current work, I think the universe urges me to embrace the natural cycle of life - where we make mistakes first and learn from it later. The exam comes first, you do it with all you currently have, and then you reflect to learn and get better later in order to pass. Structure and certainty, sure I love them. But I wanna learn to also embrace the change, the continuous iteration, the cycle of doing and reflecting... More biased on acting on short term planning and going steady in taking small continuous steps. Thus combining structure while also embracing the flexibility at the face of uncertainty.
I’m afraid to retire. I know whenever I leave a job I get a sense from relief but this is so final. I worry that I would fall into depression since I am so overworked and to go from all that work to none is a big step. This year I will take seminars to determine the financial aspect. Once that is in place I should be good.
Well, do I need to say it again? It's really only snakes. Although I have done better this year. I mean, I guess it can't go away all at once but I am trying. I am going to continue to learn about them and be realistic that they aren't in every "hiding spot" waiting to eat me. Ok, that's extreme but I love outdoor activities and I have to master this once and for all. I will be 45 soon, this part need to grow up and not be so over the top about this fear of mine. My other fears are purely maternal and I think there isn't much you can do about those. Just don't let yourself go off the deep end.
One of my biggest fears is that I'm not doing enough to protect the future of my children. I think it sometimes limits my ability to enjoy my life. I don't know if it helps me actually make the world better, although it might. I don't think I want to lose that fear entirely, but I think I could channel it into more productive actions.
I fear how people perceive me, that they are angry with me, that I have hurt them, that they dislike me or are judging me. I can remind myself that "people are not thinking about those things," or check in with them - not necessarily even apologize, just check in, instead of agonizing.
Being seen as incompetent. I don't branch out into new things because I'm not automatically the best. I can challenge myself by making commitments to my friends about doing new things with them. Same as last year!
I have a fear that I will not have enough money to retire when I need too. Taking a vacation might help. It will give me an enjoyable way to enjoy my money before I retire.
Admitting when I'm not doing well, mentally or physically. I've always felt like I need to be ok so it's hard for me to admit when I'm not, even if that just means being sick. I expect people to be able to read my mind and want them to know I'm struggling, but don't want to tell them. I want to learn that admitting when I'm not doing well, doesn't make me weak, but rather helps bring people along my journey with me.
Sometimes I have fear of believing things that I don't want to, to the point where I believe things that cannot be true (someone didn't plan to give me false information, when it's obvious that they did). I hope to be more open to ideas that I don't want to know, so I can act in a more reasonable and self-protective way.
I have all the fears it feels like. If I think about it. And I'm just so tired.
I'm really at a place where I feel like most of my fears are well-founded. Things like long COVID or car crashes that no individual actions can effectively mitigate the risks for. We are forever iterating on how to make sensible safe choices and still live our lives. This isn't something I can let go of or overcome, but it is something I can work to both make peace with and advocate for systemic changes to improve.
The fear of quickly declining health is omnipresent in my life due to my last 18 months of experience. Overcoming it is a combination of the degree of success medically in alleviating the problem and the realization that what cannot be alleviated physically must be dealt with mentally
I am afraid of deep vulnerability and honesty. I am so critical of myself, and it's hard to show that and believe that I will still be loved. At the same time, I am afraid of setting boundaries and asking for what I need - I fear this will push people away but I know in my heart they build intimacy. The work happens in therapy, in journaling, and in honesty with my closest friends and my partner. It's building a constant reminder that this is important.
A specific fear I have is infertility, and I know that what I have to do is accept that we all have limited control over the outcomes of our lives. I have to accept that there are other paths in life that S and I can take if having a child won't be in our future. A more general fear I know I have across many situations is my fear of my ability to make choices and my fear of trusting myself. In the coming year, I want to work more on being brave, believing myself, and not succumbing to the perceived judgements of others.
Fear that I will disappoint other people. Events 0f the past year (including a very recent bout of COVID) have made me more aware of the limits of my time and energy. I find myself holding back from making plans with friends because I’m afraid of over-committing. This fear gets in the way of my making the time for writing or other creative pursuits. I don’t want to become isolated or alienate long time friends, but I do want to be intentional about how I organize my time, carry out my professional and volunteer obligations, honor my marriage, and support children and grandchildren. Acceptance of my limitations—balanced with a leap of faith that I will find the energy for what is most important. Sometimes giving myself permission to cancel plans if I’m feeling too tired or overwhelmed (this is the hardest thing for me). Sometimes it will be enough to send loving thoughts or prayers to people when I don’t have the bandwidth to call or visit.
Unfounded insecurity in my relationship!
I am afraid that I will not be a good doctor in the coming year. I will have to face it head-on because my work start date is coming... hopefully I connect well with my patients; well enough where I will be able to let go of that anxiety.
I fear that I am not good enough - and so I am not applying to things, I am not trying for new things, I am not trying. I fear that I can't do it - and that is limiting opportunities that I could be taking and adventures I could be having. I am just so scared of the feeling of overwhelmedness of taking care of E and being in big overwhelming places (like airports and the tube) by myself. This will hold me back from so many things if I don't get over it.
fear of life not caring for me in my full aliveness. (the basic internalized patriarchal oppression: scarcity emerges from separation, resulting in powerlessness) how: practice :) multi-prong approach: . starting bio-identical hormones to support the needed shift in biology along with; . the cognitive practices; . systemic lens NGL community engagement. . in-person NGL'nesses! . nature connections/walks . weight training, kettlebells, qi kung - something daily . living with someone(s), living in community . proceeding like i matter; living like i'm dying.
I fear commitment and getting involved in a relationship. I don't want to let it go or overcome it. I need to be single. But I hope eventually the fear goes away.
My biggest fear has always been not being able to stay ahead of the bills. Moving into next year, I’m going to be more proactive in the savings department and in the not-going-out-so-much department.
Since my youth, I have been encouraged to step in, to lead, and to find ways to center myself in whatever group or community experience I find myself to be in. This has generally served me well and enabled me to be a meaningful contributor in the places where I work and volunteer. Recently, I have begun to appreciate how this skill has also led me to develop discomfort or even a fear of finding myself in communities where I am not in the center, but rather sitting on the margins holding onto less influence and power. My intentions this year around kavod (honor) and prishut (restraint) will in part be a test of my ability to do this more. This is a skill I would like to cultivate, particularly as part of my efforts to center others who in the past have been forced to the margins due to societal injustices.
I fear that the book that I believe to be in me will remain unborn. I don't want to let it go so I had better find a way to write. How? I don't know yet.
I fear failure, or success. Almost like I'm taking to much of a bite. I'm willing to give myself permission to bite of more than I can chew and be comfortable with taking up more space this coming year
I have a fear of letting people down. Work, friends, kids. I need to work on reminding myself that I’m actually doing a great job.
It is difficult to really define a "fear" -- a limiting belief. However, since GC's passing, one concern or fear is that I will be alone the rest of my life with no one to care for or to care for me -- and that because SL is moving to Italy, I won't have anyone to put on the "Who to Contact in Case of Emergency" line. sigh. I am not fearing homelessness so much as care-lessness. This and the shared anxiety with clients and the anxiety that is held in the broader energetic sphere is affecting me -- sometimes significantly and somatically. I am working at a high level; however, I can feel the anxiety in my body. How to overcome it? I will continue my daily practices, and bow to it with much compassion for not only myself but for all life forms on this plane. We are all anxious.
I fear for the day my father is no longer with us. Even though he is so strong in mind and body, he is now 83 and I know our time is short. I can do nothing to stop the end, but I will live in the now with him. I promise to keep working on letting go.
I answered this in the previous day's question, so I'll add another: I'm afraid of being authentically me and saying how I really feel, especially to men and especially about negative feelings like frustration or annoyance or anger. I worry that if I'm honest about how I feel, then I'll not be liked and I'll be left. This has happened but I've learned that those people aren't right for me or my life; that they have their own issues that are incompatible with mine and their response to me has nothing to do with me, but everything to do with them. Another fear I have is of poverty; of not having enough. I'm constantly worried I won't be able to afford my life as inflation increases. I don't know really how to let it go, other than to keep working on my fearful parts in therapy and understanding that some of my fears are misplaced and not actually true.
I do fear the end of life. I am at an age when more of my friends and family are getting life threatening illnesses and dying. I know this is a part of life, and I would like to try to live more in the present rather than fearing the future.
A fear of failure, a fear of not being good enough. I work on positive self talk, doing good for others, serving the people I love and the communities that I care about. It builds me up, helps me tackle the inevitable fear, not letting it consume me simply by doing good.
In the past I have had fear and anxiety about not moving quickly enough or not being where I'm meant to be. What this year showed me is that what's meant for me won't pass me by. I have to trust that and know that life will ebb and flow and I have to just surrender and know the best is coming for me if I put the best of myself in.
Of being left out, not included, exiled from any situation but particularly my kids and their family units.
I have fears around switching from my current role to a new role. Part of it is a fear that the next thing won’t be as good as what I currently have. Part of it is resistance to the effort of finding and starting in a new role. There’s inertia. I’m not sure I need to leave my current role… but I don’t want to hold myself back from looking around. Maybe I should set goals around having exploratory conversations… something to get the process in motion anyway.
I think this year there has been a lot of fear about the future of my relationship. I think this limited my capacity to focus on other aspects of my life. Fortunately, we feel in a better place and connecting with spirituality and myself has been most helpful. I know that I can be me and happy in a variety of life paths.
Same as last year: I have a fear of lack or not having enough. It limits me in that I am afraid to try something that may take away what "little" I have and fear will never get again. My intention is to give it to God and let Him handle it. My intention for the coming year is to Let Go and Let God for the coming year.
Dying during childbirth. I plan on voting and continuing to donating to causes fighting the patriarchy, and trying not to dwell on it too much.
Fear of failing. It limited me from fully enjoying life. I will try to see my failures as lessons so that I can do better next time.
Still, the fear of failure--but I think I have made some progress in letting it go! I had the realization yesterday that maybe I am actually doing a really good job despite all the shit getting thrown at me at work, and why is that so hard to accept? It's a tough job and I've managed to tread water, learn from past seasons, and continue to be more efficient. And if I do make a big mistake and get fired, so what? I managed to come out of this large, complicated job on the other side.
I'm always afraid of disasters, things like the fears of my childhood -- fear of homelessness, fear of inadequate food and healthcare, fear that if I slip up someone (my mom, my Gran, my kid brother or gf) will die. These are old fears, kid fears that I need to let go of. I can try to remind myself every day that these kids fears can be laid to rest.
Fear of failure in achieving my goal of improved health. I need to acknowledge the fear and do it!
I'll be honest, I'm not one for having fears. "Fear of committment" used to be one, but I've been committing more in the past couple years and learning how to handle relationships better. Maybe I'm insufficiently assertive in my romantic relationships. Maybe I'm afraid of doing anything that could possibly fit a bad narrative. I'm afraid that they'll see one moment of me and draw the wrong conclusions. I'm afraid they'll do to me what I do to other people. I have just identified this fear only moments agao. I am not sure how I will let it go. I think it goes hand-in-hand with letting go of my desire to draw a concluding narrative from events.
I actually don't have any fears right now! I would however like to work on getting outside and getting more inspired by the unique things that make me me.... do more painting, crafting, herbalism, self-care, gardening, astrology, Jewish earthy feminine practice, and regular introspection. I don't want to lose those childlike parts of my identity that make me feel special. Dare I say, this might be the last year that I truly only have to worry about myself!
I couldn't think of anything really at 1st, but after reading some of the public answers, I found some I related to Fear of not making a difference in the world, not living with passion and purpose Fear of being stuck (and probably root cause being control issue) - whether this be money, job(s) /career, renting because can't afford home, having to work multiple jobs to make ends meet, our country constantly battling with itself Fear of continued financial difficulty, leading to being unable to provide for our home, feeling like I'm a burden to our home Leaving 25k in debt + having to sort through possessions should I die early and not knowing my last wishes and or what to do/where to find important things Fear of having lost myself as I worked as a Hospitality worker for 12 years - flip side is now that I've left the industry, how will those who are used to me being so selfless and giving react when I'm say not as generous or say No/I don't want to as I try to rebuild myself who I want to be Not being an "adultier adult" - I'm in my mid 30s and still super struggling. And no one is really able to give good advice because of the world/country systems we live in, wealth and resource gaps and everyone is just damn tired Fear of my body just giving out Fear of getting my mom's illnesses (Fibro, Lupus, Bamboo spine and the Unknown one) and being in the debilitating pain she's in Fear of getting pregnant. With Roe vs Wade getting overturned this year and things getting dicey, we're even more careful. Fear of having kids - my boyfriend would be a great dad, but we both don't want kids and we don't want to make the types of sacrifices you have to make when you have kids.
I am very afraid for the US politically and whether we can have fair and open elections. I do not know how I can overcome that.
I have a fear that I am no good and unlovable. To address this I have engaged in EMDR therapy. It has been helpful. I am going to continue that therapy
Being inadequate--especially in my job, but also as a spouse, sibling, parent, son, etc. How to let it go? Mindfulness, mindfulness, mindfulness. Oh, right--and a heavy dose of humor.
As I commented last year, FEAR is constantly an issue with me. Coming to recognize it more in my daily life, has been a big help to overcome. I have progressed, like, dating, traveling, buying a townhouse, dying my hair, which all scare me. Too worried what the outcomes would be. I'm trying to get to the point where I have no regrets. It has been said that a person has regrets for, not doing things, NOT for doing them. So that's what I would like to concentrate on this year. Continuing taking chances on present experiences. Love is again on the list too.
Scarcity. I'm at a point in my life where it feels like I never have enough (mostly re: time and money). There are a lot of concerns about the economy, inflation, etc. and these messages impact me. This holds me back because I feel like if I change or shift anything, maybe I will lose something and have nothing. I want to feel abundant, secure, trusting. I want to be able to support myself and my family. I want us to feel free. I don't know how to let go of this fear.
It's not so much fear. But it's related to fear. It's the fear that I won't accomplish what I want to in this world, that I'm ultimately unworthy. That I won't be able to change the world meaningfully and that I'm not using my time well. I also fear that the world is falling apart and that there's nothing I can do about it. If you're reading this next year, I encourage you to look up 'Facing the Fear Beast' and seeing what comes up. Also remembering, 'I must not fear, fear is the mind killer, fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow it to pass over me and through me, and when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path, where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.' -Frank Herbet (Dune) Finally: "Until on is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the nProvidence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A hole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a great respect for one of Goethe's couples: "Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!" (A whole stream of events... which no man could have dreamt would have come by his way)." - W.H. Murray "At the moment of commitment the entire universe conspires to assist you." "Courage is the commitment to begin without any guarantee of success." - Goethe
I’m afraid of not being worthy. I think it motivates me to pursue things that help me be more effective, but it prevents me from resting and from accepting help. I want to trust myself more and also admit that I need more help.
A fear that I have had is conflict. It profoundly limits me -- I don't complain if there's hair in my salad, I get ripped off at the car dealer's, friends take advantage, students take advantage, people continue to get away with bad behaviour...I know I need to work on this and need expert help with this. Jesus, the lack of boundaries I have, the inability to speak up, has hurt me sexually and financially. Maybe that's why I'm often angry. I guess I need professional help and will seek it out.
Oh. So many. I worry about my family. I worry that people I love will die from heart attacks. I worry about the effects of the Trump years, the evangelicals and the political divide. I worry about the upcoming elections. I worry about a world ravaged by evil people, natural disasters and that just feels out of sorts. I worry about Covid. I worry about cancer. I worry about my friends. I worry that I miss my friends and the things I did pre-pandemic and I worry that I'll never recapture that. I just do the things I do, worry about them and hope for the best. I worry that I really don't know what to do, but I work hard to control the things I can control because that's literally all I have.
Fear of worsening health Fear of despair Fear of not being useful Fear of dominating Working on it! Let go of singing fear and voice is almost back to normal. Focus on managing illnesses - “I live with…” instead of “I suffer from…”
It seems I am afraid of success. It makes it difficult to get anywhere with creating my own streams of income. How to overcome? I’m still working that out.
Complete feel of failure. Not good enough. I am scared to start any job after not having worked for 20 years. I’m taking baby steps to get out of my comfort zone. New therapies and immersion courses. HRT to help w anxiety.
I fear not being liked. I want to be liked and too often it stops me from saying or doing what I know is right. I need to be a man of my convictions. I admire Patrick because he is that kind of man. How do I overcome it? Im not sure, because pleasing others and being liked is a part of my make up. But the first step is to realize when I am doing it and stop before I go through with it.
I am afraid of rats. They have taken up residence in my garage and though I have secured the funds to renovate the garage, no one seems willing to rid me of them. I decided to be unconcerned about such responses and to just keep looking for the necessary professional help and expect that I will get the help I need.
I've been so scared of death over this past year. It started when Sophia's dad passed right after Yom Kippur. I am always anxious about my loved ones and their wellbeing. I somehow need to accept the thought of death and keep living regardless. This was also really hard the night of pride when Danielle and I were running because we thought there was a shooter.
Fear of change has always been a professional barrier for me. I’ve stayed at several companies probably too long out of fear of change. While I made strides in this over the past year, I hope to continue to embrace good opportunities that scare me at work
I am a work in progress with this whole 'mindfulness' thing. I still overplan, typically. But I am working on letting go the conviction that, when events don't go AS planned, that they - that I myself - somehow failed. They didn't 'fail'. They are just - different. And that's okay. Being over controlling out of the fear of being 'failure' is very limiting.
My fear is still there I’m afraid of melisa and how she will continue to abuse me Even after the divorce is final I fear she will destroy me. I’m in therapy and I am seeking an FRO to break fee from her abuse. I want her out of my life she has abused me for so long.
Interesting considering I’m on my fear inventory With tears I think my biggest fear is that I will not have been enough. The journey is figuring out what the “enough” has been and to who I am being accountable to 🙏🏻 It is limiting because it implies I am always lacking. So much is perspective and as I continue to uncover and discover I will seek my higher powers help in disgracing those limitations that keep me small and hiding
I'm afraid of letting people know how I am from a fear of rejection, abandonment. I've spent a lot of my life contorting how I am to be desirable and safe. But, this hasn't really brought me anything. I still feel disconnected and alone. I believe that I'm already doing some things to overcome this fear. However, if I were to say that I'm afraid I would just explode.
I'm scared that becoming a parent will completely mess us up financially. I try to stay positive about it and determined that we can make it work, but I really worry that we won't be able to meet our other financial goals (paying off debt, saving for retirement, etc.) I think it limits me and my imagination, as well as my willingness to take risks. I plan on overcoming it by ... uh ... overthinking and overplanning?
I'm afraid that after the holidays my wife will leave me. There will be career transition, and adjustments to be made about who does what when. Transitions still scare me. I don't let it limit me too much, other than maybe going along with things that I might push back on more if I were more confident. No plan.
I fear that I will develop a relationship with someone who is in it for me to be a sugar daddy. Everything I've built is for my daughter's future and I want to keep it safe. On the other hand, I don't want to miss developing an amazing relationship with someone that can last the rest of my life and make the end another special chapter. So, I'm treading cautiously optimistic these days.
I just looked at last years answer where i had the aspiration to reflect on the nature of life and to practice the Buddhist Five Remembrances this year. I didn't. I want to! So...here they are from Thich Nat Hahn's Plum Village Chanting Book: When you deny the reality of life, you appreciate it less. Meditate on the Buddha’s Five Remembrances and rediscover the magic of life just as it is. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. This year...I WILL contemplate these truths!
Worrying about how I am perceived by others. This is a pretty pervasive one -- it affects everything from in-person networking events to interactions with strangers to internet/text messages with friends. Worrying about being too silly in professional conversations, or too careless in serious environs, or too serious in casual settings, or too talkative, or 'trying too hard', or an imposition on a friend's time. I just care so much about being someone that others like and think highly of. I don't know if I can fully let it go, but I keep coming back to what I wrote at the end of Trybal -- "Go into situations more as your full self and...trust that you will belong."
I have a pretty deep-seated fear of not being liked. I know that sounds obvious, as no one wants to be "not liked", but I feel like I've built my entire identity around being likeable (and knowledgable, but that's a neurosis for a different day). This coming year I think I'd like to explore what kind of person I could be if I cared less about how my actions affect my likeability. I have no intention of being a less kind or less moral person, just...you know...being more honest about stuff instead of always making the choice that presents me as more likeable.
That I am not good enough now nor that I ever will be. I have been working on this for years and still have no idea.
Last year I was afraid I wouldn't see large-scale growth in myself. In a way I was right, but I also felt I needed to see moment-to-moment growth and I think there were glimpses of that. It's possible this fear is annualized because the person I aspire to be is difficult for me to actualize. And my fear of not actualizing my ideal self swamps the little things that could draw me closer to that. So I guess, I need to continue to push my boundaries in the moment, but also to push boundaries at other times as well.
Claustrophobia is very inhibiting. Besides avoiding groups of people, I have had difficulty flying on planes and am not going in for an MRI that I need. It is my plan to start up with a new psychologist specializing in phobias. Let's see if I do this.
I fear my health worsening or being expensive to fix, and that expense impacting our quality of life. I plan to step forward gingerly (literally) towards what may be a hip replacement. Hopefully I'll otherwise stay in good health for a while.
My fear is as failing my family in providing for them. Every father yearns to see their children successful and striving, while much of that is beyond my control I am often asked to be a part of the decision making process that leads to my fear of the correct guidance. Additionally the choices with Jay has no backup plan it’s my guidance he relies upon alone so fear is a given. My fear is relieved by the 20 year record of successful living independently.
No, fears are not the issue at this point.
There’s the state of the world, of course. On a personal level, it’s economics. Things are fine if we work hard. But we are at an age where we want to slow down, and it’s easy to see the next 10 years as the ones in which we are likely to have the most energy and the best health. So cutting back work and income at a time of inflation, possible recession, and asset declines is…scary
I found someone that I love. He is a reflection of me. I am fearful that I am too invested. Not sure how it has limited me. I do know that I wait for him to tell me when he has time. I am retired now and am more flexible with my time. I do not want to forego my adventures bc he is not available. I am fearful that I may become too demanding and attached.
I don't fully trust in my abilities and that keeps me from using them as effectively as I can. I often feel that the confidence others have in me is misplaced and that if I attempt to step out of a tightly-drawn, imaginary zone of safety I will be exposed as an incompetent fraud. Immersing myself in my work as a municipal planner will help me overcome this fear as I will have no choice but to demonstrate my worth in a very public context. I am determined to succeed in this role and make a name for myself. This will have collateral benefits in all my endeavors.
Fear of failure, of being pitied/pitiful, of being ridiculous, has been and continues to dog me. Right now I'm struggling with having failed in a big way, and having to tell people about it. This is really limiting me right now because I need help, advice, and mentorship, but feel like I can't ask for help. I'm just too embarrassed and ashamed, and I want to hide, not step out of my comfort zone and talk to colleagues and strangers about my failure and where to go from there. I don't know if I have a plan for getting over it. Maybe finally having failed will be freeing; I can just get over it since it happened and I survived. I need to face my failure first, and I've been postponing that. I need to start there, with taking the time to feel my feelings and examine everything that's just been percolating in my subconscious for the past few months.
Going to my next level. Change. It threatens to limit me SO much. The only way to do it is to go through it. Its application. I’m currently facing that moment now as I prepare to look for jobs. I’ve been given a word of wealth over my life and to not apply for anything under 60K. I’m wrestling with this but I want to believe it. God help my unbelief! I just have to do it
I think my greatest fear is rejection and/or judgement, which causes me to compromise myself for acceptance. Its really scary to think that I compromise my true self in order to be liked, loved and accepted by others. Sometimes i struggle even knowing who my true self is, as I've so often morphed myself into what I thought others wanted/expected of me. How scary is that? So my hope is that as I continue to grow as an independent adult woman, I figure out who I am and what really want in life, and be loyal to that.
My fear is that I'm not good enough for anything. My fear is that I'm too broken to be loved by anyone. I plan on letting it go by doing things I like to do. I've forgotten what that's like, now. I like to hike, swim, listen to music, draw, be with people. I wish I was in a good relationship, but I suppose I have to like myself first before anyone likes me. I'll have to do the pottery, the hiking, swimming, loving myself, going to bed early.
I fear catching Covid. I plan on wearing a mask in public indoor crowded spaces. I will get any shots Kaiser recommends for me. I suffered a vasovagal episode. I had gotten very dehydrated (accidentally took my diuretic twice on morning). I worry about having that happen again. It was precipitated during my Duo (video call) session with my friend. We do that on Fridays: smoke pot and talk. I don't want to give up the weed. It is one of my main pleasures. We shall see.
Dogs and it has limited me by keeping me from many locations and doing things.
This one is tough because I think after much reflection I have discovered that I may have a bit of fear of commitment. I go on and on about how I'd love to find a long-term partner, my person, someone to spend the rest of my life with, but when I really get down to thinking about it (or going on dates with someone who has that potential) I realized that "the rest of my life" is a really long time. Aside from the fact that I can't even find a partner that wants to stick around for that long, I also am coming to terms with the fact that maybe *I* won't want to stick around that long. Or something horrible will happen and my partner will die or cheat on me or turn out to be a horrible person that murders people and keeps them in our basement. How can you really trust a single person with so many of your feelings? Anyway, I have been struggling a lot about this, and I suppose the way to combat it is just to put myself out there and open myself to the chance of a real connection. Preferably with someone who is vetted by my friends or by my own experience, so that I don't have to literally start from square one (that's how you find serial killers, in my opinion). Good luck me, I guess.
With having been critically ill recently, not expected to survive at the time, and subsequently having to make decisions about Do Not Resuscitate orders, I am afraid of dying before I am ready. The time I have left is clearly very limited, but I'm not ready to die. I want to live. There are things I want to do and achieve, places I want to go, people I want to spend more time with. I think I need to pray about it, pray for acceptance of the situation, and pray that I have a much more Christian approach to it with a peace about being with God instead of the fear I harbour.
I have more concerns than fears. At 85 I'm concerned about how best to retain my good health in the coming years. I'm concerned about what seems to me a going backwards societally, rather than forward. I'm very concerned that children aren't reading and learning to question and think for themselves.
I have a fear of failure, a fear of living a life without meaning. I'm going to look at where I work, reviewing my involvement in my community and my work for ecological justice.
It isn't really a fear, but it stops me - being so concerned about how other people see me. Worrying about how I look (in all ways) which keeps me from keeping my focus out which is where it needs to be - not in on me.
The fear of getting too old and be remembered as a young men. There is a truth behind getting forgotten by "false friends" but every opinion and every matter has some parts of the truth within. Go right where you want but don't stuck another year at the same shit, except you are getting ahead. What I truly wish for yourself, Robert!
The fear of my child's illness is consuming me. She's only 11...and they don't even have a name for it yet. I am terrified. I can't just give it up to G-d right now--those platitudes don't work anymore. We've agreed to be honest with each other about how scared we are...maybe that is enough. And maybe I've never done that before because I was always protecting myself. Maybe to stand up and cry and wail out loud and not apologize maybe that's all I can possibly do. Dear G-d help me to stay present and walk through this.
I fear having bad relapses with my mental health issues. I don’t know that I can “let it go” or “overcome it” as it’s not as though I have a choice to have a relapse. Maybe I just need to not be so afraid. If it happens, it happens.
I fear infidelity. I fear wasting my time. I think I just have to remind myself that what is for me cannot miss me.
No se si tengo miedo a algo últimamente. Quizá a ver como las personas que perdí avanzan eventualmente mientras que yo siento me estoy estancando. Quizá miedo a la verguenza de fallar
That good old chestnut: conflict, confrontation, and boundary-setting. I expect I will have to get over it in order to be an effective parent. I'm hoping that learning to do it on behalf of someone else will help me apply those skills for myself.
I have feared not being partnered but I am overcoming that by being a better partner to myself and not so dependent on others' opinions of me.
I think fear I had over the past year that I've had to deal with has been the fear of being lonely. When I first moved to New York, I was so worried about living in a single by myself and then that fear was pretty bad when I moved to the Lower East Side in the Summer. I was so worried about when Lola was going to leave and whether or not Ben was going to stay that I became really anxious about it all. I think it led to some decisions I made related to seeing guys that weren't that amazing- especially that night that I didn't want to be by myself in the Lower East Side and went to the the man who must not be named. So I guess in that sense, I was so worried that it prevented me from using that alone time to understand myself more and grow in solo time. In the next year, I want to use alone time wisely and not be afraid of it. I think I grow a lot and become more in touch with myself when I have alone time, so I want to seek it out more and use it productively.
Fear of becoming ill and dying a slow painful death. Pulmomary fibrosis might be the reason I get so exhausted on exertion so can't do much. While this has been a problem for years the scarring in my lungs has only just been pointed out to me. Read that with pulmonary fibrosis the usual life span is 3-5 years after diagnosis. I will try and find out what this is and other neurological issues are and find every means possible to stop all these from taking over my life. I just want my body to be well until it is the time for me to let go of it.
I am afraid to stay rooted in my present situation and therefore have always changed it. I used to think that was due to the trauma I suffered from being a teacher in several hostile districts, but now I think it's deeper and goes back (duh) to my parents' divorce and move across country from one another. Nothing ever felt like home and therefore I never allowed myself to feel settled. I'm trying to practice stillness.
I think I’m still stuck in thinking I need to keep working; that I can’t go part-time or choose a lower paying less intense job. My financial planner says I can afford to retire, but I get caught up in worry as the stock market jumps down and up. I know what I need to do - meet with Social Security, find a better CPA, and take a first step or two. I have figured out that I can’t do this without a plan, not just financially but one that includes how I want to spend my days.
Today I felt into the fear I have around not being able to take care of myself -- in some ways I am overcoming it by living with my family, letting myself be cared for in this way. But I also know I need to learn to lean in, ask for help, allow myself to be seen when I'm struggling. I don't have to wait until things are hard to ask.
I’m afraid of getting stuck in a job that I hate with no chance of growing more satisfied. I’m afraid of being stuck providing for my family with barely enough income to make ends meet. How do I overcome this? I think it goes back to staying in the present moment. Living my life for today alone.
Fear of abandonment, of rejection. I don't know how to let it go...I think I have to work on facing it by hiding less of myself and asking for help more. At the moment, I feel a bit at a loss for how to actually put this into practice.
I am so lonely, and afraid that I'll always be this way. While I feel like I've gotten better at recognizing when I'm not wanted/welcomed any more, and stopping putting my energy in that direction when it gets to that point, that it's a sufficiently common experience for me to have gotten better at it is sad. It's evident that my need for other people to prioritize interaction with me, for me and not for what I do for them, as a prerequisite for a sense of validity to my existence... is unsustainable, to say the least. But, it's such a core facet of my experience of the world, how can I even start to work out how to approach, let alone overcome it?
Fears/insecurities about what other people think of me or my relationship. I want to let it go by being more aware when those thoughts come, then casting them away more quickly and choosing not to feed more energy into the thoughts.
My fear of bankrupcy, of financial devastation. Except I don't think it's limited me, I think it's prevented me from fully experiencing life because I'm thinking too much about my future. But in some cases it's helped. I don't know that there is a way to get over it. I don't think I should, really. Mostly I plan to work like a dog as much as I can. Which sucks. But it's what I need to do.
I think deep down I fear aging. It has limited me in my business because I feel that at times, people dismiss older people or don't even notice them in this mass social media frenzy. I don't feel as presentable on photos or video, I can't capture attention. I plan on forging forward and doing my best with truth and sincerity and compassion - as well as passion! Being my authentic self and just seeing what happens. Because my message is so important for not only individual health but the health of our communities and our nation.
It's funny, last year I wrote about the fear of my judgment and how that might make me lose Eli. In reality, my (lack of) judgment made me lose my sisters. While my relationship with everyone in my family has been strained, I definitely always deprioritized them, which made things come to a head this past year. I fear now that I have neglected things for too long to make them come back to normal. Right now, I do not want to see or talk to them either. I hope that we can eventually get to a place where we can discuss it and maybe come to some sort of resolution, but the fact that I am going home to sleep on an air mattress in Heather's room while she sleeps in my bed after having blocked me on everything makes me think that one year is not going to see a ton of progress.
I have a fear of riding my road bike, clipped in, because I’ve been hurt too many times by it. My boyfriend & another friend think I’m being ridiculous but my knees, hips and shoulders know better. I’m going to continue to overcome this by simply not riding that bike. I love cycling but the clips make me nervous and I don’t enjoy the ride. To alleviate that: ride the non-clipped in bikes and stop worrying about what they think.
Fear of driving. i had an accident 4 years ago. I plan to drive again although i am affraid of having another accident, and hitting someone. Some friends said that they will go in the car with me, a friend just offered to teach me. Plan to pay a cheaper insurance This year.
I have been afraid of not having any impact on the world, I have been afraid of ending up alone. I don't care so much any more about the latter, because I find peace in solitude. But I need to make more connections with people and make more of the connections I do have so that life is not so lonely as it sometimes is. As far as my impact on the world, I kind of feel that ship has sailed--more or less empty, but not totally so. And that will need to be good enough.
I have a fear of inadequacy, leading to near constant imposter syndrome. I was offered a new job in August that I'm not starting until next week, and I am absolutely afraid that I've forgotten every skill I will need in the intervening time, and they will rescind the offer. I am hoping that once I am established in the role I will feel comfortable with my abilities and be able to perform the duties of the role.
i still have this annoying fear of being behind, being too old for where i'm at in life. etc. it limits me in my self of self and what I "should" be prioritizing and being able to be proud of myself for all of my achievements!!! i don't know how i plan to let it go or overcome it in the coming year because it is ~deeply engrained~ but i am talking about it with my therapist, so. it's annoying because it's something that J always struggled with and i never understood, really. and now all of the sudden, i have it, too. OOH. another fear is that i already had my one "great love" and i'm not going to get another one. because i don't deserve it. because that part of me has already been broken in, decepcionada, is unbelieving. I read all of these anonymous responses on here being like, "I can't believe i found my big love!! i never thought this would happen to me!!" and i sort of think that was J for me, and now it's gone. i know that's irrational, and is based in fear, so i suppose that is something i should work on overcoming.... by being open to love? ew.
My fear is that there are certain fundamental character defects that I will never be rid of, no matter how much I want them removed or try to remove them myself. I lack the power. I plan to keep working on the most basic one--taking everything personally! Not taking anything personally is unattainable, but I vow to attain it! I will continue to seek the help of my God, my sponsors, and everyone in the programs. I will also study this particular character defect so that I can better understand it and be more aware of how it gets triggered and how I can avoid unsafe situations and people. The paradox is that I have to continue to try to overcome it while letting it go at the same time.
Fear of procrastination, in addition to same answer as last 2 years. Fear of isolation as we age and how time and age has affected our health … physically and mentally. I also fear how our great nation is being destroyed from within by so-called “patriots” and complacency. If not now, then when? If not me, then who?
*I fear I will get cancer *I fear I will get heart disease *I fear my sister will get sick *I fear my son will get diabetes *I fear my children will get sick *I fear my sister will die *I fear I will suffer a painful ending *I fear my fear *I fear I will never have a feeling of accomplishment again and still be regretting what I haven't done *I fear that I will be held back by my balance and dizziness issues *I fear some new problem I can't even begin to anticipate, that I will have to handle *I fear a nuclear war started by Russia or China. *I fear the changes we will see as the Earth warms up *I fear this country will become more polarized and will elect another someone like Trump *I fear the numbers of people who are against abortion and want to take our rights away in various ways. *I fear being lonely *I fear being preoccupied with people to the exclusion of my own interests that require aloneness *I fear not doing exercise *I fear never being motivated to take another walk *I fear getting weak physically *I fear beating myself up about that daily and relentlessly *I fear my friends and family growing old (or not), getting sick and dying *I fear my doctors' retiring *I fear not being in control of my life. Just the usual🤣
I have a huge fear that I will let Jeff in completely and I’ll lose myself again and or he will never change and make amends for the way he treated me and I’ll be miserable or he’ll leave again. Therapy is the only path I see to overcome this
My greatest fear is my own inadequacy. I'm working on becoming a better man. I endeavor to be 10 percent better than I was last year.
I fear that my spouse is becoming more isolated from others and more negative about others. I need to figure out a way to ask him about it without judging him.
Fear seems to translate into anxiety for me. I need to practice recognizing that it's fear. Then sitting with that acknowledgment. Fear of ridicule has held me back even from self-care activities that would enhance my life and my health, if I would let it go.
I struggle writing this because it feels more 'real' when you send it out into the world, but I have struggled this year with a really severe fear of death. The concept of things just ending and not being able to complete the plans and dreams that I've built is really overwhelming oftentimes. It has made so much of my daily life full of worry, when I am the one mentally creating the danger that doesn't really exist. I am healthy and young and careful, and fearing death is not a sustainable way to actually live. I want to start therapy, and I want to be more intentional about grounding myself and checking my anxiety with facts. I have a long, joyful life to live ahead of me.
Being alone, starting over, disappointing my friends and family. One step at a time...
I don't really know what I'm afraid of these days. There are times when I shy away from difficult conversations because I don't want to upset or offend the other person. But these are usually never as bad as I think they might be. I guess there's a part of me that's afraid of sacking clients that I don't enjoy working with. There's a risk that I won't be able to replace the work, or I'll be burning bridges. But I've found that there's plenty of work out there and it seems to come to find me. I'm not particularly afraid about money at the moment, but I do notice when I haven't invoiced for a month or two and my savings look a bit more depleted. The way to overcome it is just to invoice my freelance clients more regularly - ideally every month at the same time. But it doesn't always feel worth it for a few hundred pounds. It also reveals that I haven't done that much for them recently. There's also a part of me that's afraid of getting a proper full-time job. I'm not sure if fear is the right emotion. I don't know if I'm capable (or willing) to work full-time. I don't know if I have the patience for office culture. I certainly don't miss my old job. I love the freedom. At one time, I had a fear about leaving that job. I wasn't 100% sure that I could survive as a freelancer, but the last two years have proved I can and that there's lots of work out there for me. Do I want to sack any of my clients? Maybe. There's a couple that come to mind. But one of them has been a steady source of income and it might be foolish to cut off that support. That's what I mean by fear. If we do notice the cost of living increase with higher heating and hot water bills, higher electricity bills, and higher car and mortgage payments, we do have wiggle room. We have deliberately not over-stretched ourselves. And I'm really glad that we have been prudent. We can also save slightly less and stop over-paying on the mortgage if we need a bit more disposable income. Cutting back doesn't have to make life more miserable. On the contrary, I remember that life was still quite happy when we had to economize as a family when I was younger. There's no point being afraid and worrying about something that may not come to pass. Sure, we can make plans for what we can do if money does get tight, but getting stressed about it now isn't going to do any good. So I'd like to make sure that my savings are replenished by this time next year and still put money aside for my pension and tax bills. I may need to stop the regular saver. But it makes sense, if we can afford it, to overpay on the mortgage, because that's a good way to save on the interest; and it's also decreasing the amount we will have to borrow if we re-mortgage at the end of our 5-year fixed term in August 2024.
I fear that my sons will not find security and happiness. I need to embrace the truth they are on their own paths now as adults and all I can do is love them and believe in them no matter what comes.
I fear losing my mum and the changes it would cause in my life. I’ve never dealt with the death of others (human and animal) very well and would like to do some work on how it’s a natural part of the cycle of existence to try and overcome these fears, but I’m not sure where to start.
Fear of Alzheimer's or myDM2 taking over my life. Overcome Fear by taking positive action to limiting the impact of both
i've been really afraid of losing my parents and one of my siblings over choosing to marry my person. because we're both women. i feel like i've been a bit crippled by that fear and i plan on giving myself more reminders that even if they choose to walk away, i am still worth being loved and celebrated for who i am, who i love. and there's a lot of other family and friends who see me and love me and won't walk away.
Hmmmm. My fear of being without work? Of taking steps to do something really big, like write that book? As I wrote last year "Fear to taking time to step beyond and do things or projects more than just surviving." It's hard to step out and take the extra effort to go beyond just the easy day-today. What will i do? Maybe I can strive to do one thing a day, or even one thing a week, that pushes the envelope a little bit. That's a good idea.
Definitely the same fear as last year (a new found fear that needs a lot of work). This manifests itself in daily life with my not speaking up or making myself and my opinions heard. Probably from being burnt in the past from being reprimanded for my thoughts rather than having constructive responses and dialogue to unpack that thinking. Will keep at it over then next year!
I have a constant fear that I'm not making enough impact on customers and that they don't really like me. The low response rate to my solicitations for business is often discouraging. I plan to take advantage of my successes and increased confidence to build a strong client base and to come up with new ways of reaching out to potential clients.
I absolutely fear being abandoned. It’s limited me by being the source of countless trauma triggers. I don’t think “overcoming” is my goal. I need to make friends with my “beautiful monsters.” So rather than “letting go” or “overcoming,” if I can learn to sit with my fear of abandonment or simply let it BE, that’s good enough. That fear served a purpose once — and kept me alive — or relatively sane. I can honor it now. I don’t have to “overcome” it.
Fear of not being enough, of not exploring and experiencing enough. Of losing people, of losing myself. Continue to work on myself, because I'm the only one that I can really control, anyway.
Being vulnerable. I worry that if I feel all my emotions that I'll learn things I don't like. I'd like to let this fear go by facing it and talking through my feelings with those I care about.
The fear I have is that I am not doing enough to save democracy. I will work very hard to turn at least one red Congressional seat blue this coming election.
Fear of not being good enough always stops me in my tracks- whether in creative pursuits or professional pursuits. It's debilitating. I'm trying to take my aunt's advice she gave me last month: to "just do the thing because I enjoy it and do it for me. Pretend there is a closed door and no one can see what you are working on."
My biggest fear is that I won't live as fully as I know how. It's limited me in the sense that sometimes I take on too much, because I want to do it all, which means I get overwhelmed with too many projects and not enough forward momentum. In this next year, I want to be more intentional with my focus and not take on more than I can handle.
I fear that I made a mistake committing to the relationship I'm in, but it affects my every interaction and clouds my perception of how it really is or could be. Over the coming year, my goal is to put more into my relationship (tricky with a new baby) and give it a chance to be good again because I'm aware of how much the way i'm simply feeling about it in the moment makes me judge actions and reactions more harshly than I should
My fear is that I will never find another companion at my age. I care for someone very much, but I don't think it will go anywhere, although I sure wish it did. I cannot let it go yet, I have faith that what will be will be.
I'm afraid of trying to make new friends, of being vulnerable with new people, of putting in the effort to reach out. I get worried that people won't like me or that I'll fail to get to know them adequately. My main plan to overcome this is to simply keep trying. This will be an important skill as I move out of college and start life on my own. Since this topic also came up in question 7, I'll add that I want to be less afraid of public speaking and leading. Here, too, I think it's a matter of simply putting myself out there and being willing to fail or embarrass myself. This is a fear that I've made progress on, but I'd like to make more progress still.
It's not that I'm scared of death, per se, and I'm not actively afraid of my own, but I guess what I'm scared of is losing people I love, and not having the opportunity to tell them how much I love them. Not sure how to overcome this, I think it's just something I need to learn how to live with. And tell people I love them more.
I constantly worry. I always believe that the worst outcome will happen. No matter the situation, my brain will tell myself a story about how everything can go wrong. I want to let it go. But right now, I have learned to be Okay with it. I am trying to accept the worst case scenario. I try to comfort myself in knowing that no matter what, I will be okay.
Fear that my child will be physically injured because he is transgender. Fear that my child will not have his basic liberties because he is transgender.
Fear of failure is still there. Together with the stupid fear of not being perfect. I must start my days with an action that moves me toward my goals. Everyday. No studying, pondering. Action Action Action. No wonder I have not moved an inch from last year. I have not acted at all.
I’m worried about how house-poor we are going to be for the foreseeable future. I’m less worried about investing in my business now than I was a year ago. I think a budget for the house and my personal finances will help significantly.
I am afraid I am too physically ugly to find n romantic partner. I am afraid I will be lonely and friendless for the rest of my time on this earth I have no idea how I am going to accomplish this
I fear feeling joyful. This fear has limited me by making me thing that the good moments in life are so short lived, that if I blink my eyes they will be gone faster than I realize. I plan to overcome it by being available only for the things that bring joy and delight into my life.
I don't have very many fears. I guess my main fear would be losing my family: becoming insignificant to them. That makes me very anxious about their activities and keeps me from planning or doing things for fear that they might invite me to something and I might not be available. I am trying to enlarge my life a bit so I am not not dependent on them, but it is really hard to do.
My anxiety, even though it is better than it was, my dosage had to increase recently on my medication for it, as I've been feeling more physical anxiety symptoms. I've started therapy, I just have 15 sessions of 30 minutes, and I feel as though there are many things that sound logical in my head that become crazy or weird upon being spoken about. So I hope next year will be less anxious, and I will continue the work to ease it, work on my mental health and continue to be kind to myself
mainly my fear is wind. I blame the three little pigs. SO it hasn't limited me at all. And since I have no grandchildren, the world going to hell is selfishly, not a fear of mine.
I am claustrophobic and avoid going to places that make me feel afraid (including tunnels); this has prevented me from going to the Caribbean coast as I have to drive through a long tunnel. I will accept the next opportunity to travel there at least once this year.
I fear losing my place in the world. I dig in where I could instead bend, and get a better outcome.
My answer to this question is sadly the same as it was last year. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I will probably not be able to get a tenure track job in the near future, because I’m not publishing and I don’t have a robust and independent research plan to sell myself. I’ve started looking into commercial jobs, which will likely pay better and have better benefits. I will likely look for something remote so that I can still be helpful at home with the kids, but once again I feel myself moving further away from my long time goal of becoming a professor at a decent university. I think the only thing that I can do to let it go is to remind myself that I do not HAVE to go into an academic position, nor do I have to end my goals of becoming a professor, even if I get side tracked in the near terms.
I have a fear that I will not have enough finances to take care of myself when I grow old. And, like last year, I'm still afraid of Alice dying, though I don't think about it so much anymore.
Dread of the future; I cry all the time about it. I just press on ahead and try not to worry about it.
I am afraid of losing my mobility. I need to start a regular exercise program to increase my strength and flexibility.
I fear death and it limits me because I wanna live my life every moment richer and juicier and more fulfilling and when the fear of death takes over I feel scared and small and like I need to avoid it and cling to the ones I love and worry about myself and them and not do as much active living and loving. I plan on continuing to expose myself to it by thinking about it, reading or watching media about it and feeling the fear when it comes up, validating myself and calming my body down.
My fear of snakes & heights are quite reasonable & I have no plans to overcome them.
My greatest fear is being alone. However this fear creates substantial social anxiety, relationship anxiety, and generally makes it harder for me to connect meaningfully to people which ultimately makes me lonely. I hope to get in more touch with this fear and the emotions that come with this, dive into them, and let go of the fear with time.
Well, the confrontation thing hasn’t really changed, but the world seems to spiral into so many fearful areas that I have to fight just being afraid on a daily basis. Nuclear war, loss of freedom in our country, hate crimes against people but especially against Jews, worry about son in Germany and all those things I am afraid of also affecting him. The list seems to go on. Should I live in fear? Is there value in living my best life and trying to NOT worry about all those things? Or is that just head-in-sand avoidance that will bring us closer to an apocalypse?
Right now I can’t find a fear that is limiting me. Well I have no desire to go bungee jumping or do extreme sports, but I think I don’t stop myself from doing things. I’d like to be a little more adventurous in my travels especially in India. I can push myself in taking maybe more responsibility in that but I don’t think it’s fear that’s stopping me. It might be some laziness about leaving my comfort zone.
I have a fear of being unemployed for a long period of time again, and it’s possible I may get laid off from my job this year after a very prolonged and painful strategic plan concludes. I am trying to except my lack of control over the situation, and that it will be what it will be, but at the same time, I am also needing to get the motivation to be proactive finding another job, and hopefully it will be the perfect next step for me.
I've been going a lot over this with my therapist lately actually!! Im working on the way my fears around social interactions guide my actions- they often put me in positions i dont want to be in, or cause me to take actions i dont align eith morally because they are easier etc. A lot of planning to deal with this is just doing the "right" thing and seeing what happens.
I think last year's answer is still pretty current. I know that fear of the cancer returning will be with me for a long time. Still, as I said last year, I have o keep moving forward. As i have...and will.
I realized through therapy that in all my years of working, I have only had one boss that I actually got along with/ worked with successfully. This has been a fear and limiting belief for me during the interview process It had me believe that I wasn't good enough when I know that's not really true. I have over 10 years of HR experience and I am good enough!
My lifelong fear of closeness limits my relationship with Peter. I push him away carelessly. I will let that be a focus of my Yom Kippur contemplation tonight and tomorrow.
All my fears are rational ones, given my life so far. I do fear social situations but it is due partially to my autism (no idea of social cues and what conversation is appropriate), partially my hearing loss ("what did you say?"), and partially to prosopagnosia (poor memory for faces - meaning I can't remember if I have already spoken to someone!) Maybe I need to be more honest about the reasons why I would rather be tortured than attend a party?! People might be more sympathetic and forgiving than I have found them in the past.
One of my biggest fears is that I will never have full job security that will allow me to retire when I want to. I'm a mid-career scientist who took a non-traditional path by taking a break from school during my 20's, returning at age 29, getting a PhD, doing a postdoc, taking time off for family, and THEN taking a job at a university where I am on soft money. I love my job, but every new fiscal year I have to be hyper-aware of what's around the corner for me. I watch new graduates and postdocs take positions that I might otherwise get. I'm also working during a strange time - very positive in some ways, but taken too extreme - when institutions are more worried about implementing inclusion plans for their reputation rather than really trying to affect change at the ground level where it really counts. I had a conversation with a colleague who is around the same age, but a bit further along in his career, with a very prestigious resume, and even he can't get that position that always seemed to be waiting at the end of the road. I do not harbor any resentment towards anyone. It's just where we are these days with lots and lots of graduates looking for jobs (and willing to give up their personal lives for their jobs), no one retiring, and institutions randomly and superficially changing their hiring practices. This is why I have this fear. My goal is to just continue doing the science that I love to do, keep up my collaborations, and NOT worry about a future that I have no control over. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't acknowledge that no matter how uncertain things may seem, I will be fine, and I am forever grateful for that.
Fear of conflict. Fear of being dependent on others. Fear that work defines my purpose. Fear of sinking into slovenly laziness. Fear of being expected to do things that I currently avoid by rushing off to work. And fear of shame when I don't meet these those expectations. Perhaps I can overcome them by naming them and looking at them squarely.
I fear dying before Molly is on her feet. I hope to help her assume responsibility and love for her life, so she isn't so reliant on me.
I most fear that I’ll never get it together and lose the weight I “should.” I suspect mostly, I need to let it go and work on being happy with my lumpy but strong body instead. In many respects, I am very healthy, have excellent blood work, work out fairly regularly, eat mostly okay. But I am in my head like a beating drum of society about losing weight. Yes, I could have a better relationship with food and choose to move my body more (in ways I love vs torturous boot camps). But also so much of what people tell themselves about their body is such bullshit and that knowing that is probably why I haven’t fully embraced the goal and ultimately lost the weight. So many the goal should be letting go of the expectation instead of fearing I’ll never meet it.
I am afraid of getting Covid again. I was never this afraid of Covid before I had it. I was so much more concerned about participating responsibly in a community health crisis, masking to protect others from my risk choices. Now I mask fearfully, and it's holding me back, from travel, from everyday outings, from living my life fully and joyfully. I realized it after my talk with Heather. The suffering of the illness itself plus the resulting disappointments and losses of work time, shows, and gatherings, just left me so dark, so frustrated, angry, and sad. To overcome this fear, I must engage, heighten my awareness again, follow healthcare experts in my community and check infection rates regularly, stay in communication with Helen and other friends about our risks and boundaries.
I’ve been afraid of making my own decisions and fully expressing myself. Especially if it goes against the wishes of people near me, like moving far away. Hopeful that taking small steps will enable to be build the skills and confidence to speak my truths small or large.
My greatest fear is about what my husband's aging will bring. He's 14 years older than I am, so this is a realistic fear, but what is frightening is not knowing how this will unfold. I worry about how it will be for him, for me, and for us. I don't think I can either let go of this concern or overcome it, but I can, I hope, learn to live with it. To do that, I have to let go of the desire to control or manage it and try to remain open to dealing with whatever comes as it comes. I have to accept the limits of my intentionality and planning -- not easy for me, though perhaps a useful experience in itself.
My only fear is living long enough to see grandson Ira well into his teens. That means taking care of myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Have to live in the present and not dwell on the morose
Fear of not doing enough is always the thing that limits me. Not taking advantage of every waking moment to be productive. Not trying hard enough in my work. Not being there enough for my family. Not traveling enough to see the world. Not taking enough time for me to decompress. I don't know how to let it go and I don't really have a clear plan to either make that fear more useful to me or overcome it.
I'm still afraid of dying all the time.
I fear many things. I have loved having my time and space and flexibility in working from home, and I am scared of how much my life will change and how rigid I will get in my routine and schedule. I fear spending money, and it has limited me in my relationships and in the experiences I allow myself to have. It is something that is always on my mind, but I am hoping that with a more substantial income I will be able to release some of that fear and lean into trust that I will always have what I need.
I have shed the fear, or the unnecessarily limiting belief, that I’ll never heal fully. In the coming year, I’m confident that I’ll continue to enjoy the fruits of this organic unburdening.
My world is full of things of which I could be afraid. I just read that our (unreasonable) fear of kidnapping has limited our children's growth. And a year of isolation has made their development even more limited. I personally won't live with that level of fear. No security screen door. No cameras and alarm systems, at least at home. Reasonable precautions, as I wrote last year, about going out in public. Managing my own health and well-being so I'm not afraid.
I am afraid of the multitude of options available to me which stand as possibilities for where to go and what to do with my remaining and finite time and energy. I plan on overcoming it by getting clear on what it is exactly that I want and methodically narrowing down the options so that there are a tolerable number that I can explore deeply to make a decision that will be suitable
I'm not afraid anymore that I'll be alone the rest of my life. I've started dating someone. And even if it doesn't work out, God's shown me that it is possible for someone else to be interested in me.
I fear idling, at this point in my life. COVID felt like absolutely wasted years, even though I did a tremendous amount of personal improvement. When I had downtime last year, I tended to ruminate when I couldn't physically go out and do something. My hobbies and projects lost meaning to me because I had to physically sit in one spot to do them. I tended to wind up disregarding them in favor of doomscrolling. In the coming year, I'm going to get better about it. I'm in an area with an actual winter, so I'll have to be more sedentary than usual. I also plan to be better about journaling more- I've found documenting my projects makes me value them more.
The fear is the morons that run the world will destroy us, the climate will destroy us too. The fear is to leave in a broken, destroyed world. It limits me in a such a way that I wish to hoard money and resources and don't want to spend it on something fun or just for the sake of spending it.
I fear toppling the precarious tower that is my mental health. I fear stretching myself too far, burning out too deeply, and not having any safety net. If I do manage more work/life balance then that should help, hopefully.
The fear of losing my wife. I love her deeply but sometimes my mistakes and her anger feel like I come close to not having her in my life. My plan is to work on fixing what I can so I do less things that upset her and so her more patience.
Fear of losing a 27 year relationship. I have been limited by the loss of trust and ability to believe in what people tell me. I plan to change my existing surroundings- remodel the house, get an eye lift, find a new job, meet new people
I'm very afraid of being laughed at/mocked by others for caring about the people and things that are important to me. It comes from some crappy treatment from my parents and peers. I'm going to continue going to therapy and working to make sure that the things I'm doing are truly what I want to do and not for the approval of others.
Fear of driving. I haven't ever driven, despite having passed my test 10 years ago. Makes me dependent on public transport and other people. I'm not going to work on it.
I have been scared at times to speak up about views I have an topics I believe in for fear of upsetting others or not knowing what to say to pushback. However, I have been working hard to overcome this fear in classes and will continue to work toward communicating my views, even if I feel nervous.
I have a fear of having burglars in my house! Since I was a kid. Oops! I have some financial fears as well. These limit me in making a career change. I’m stuck in a golden cage. I’m not sure if this is an excuse and I’m actually afraid of looking less successful in the traditional view of success. I want a less demanding job. Groundedness is the way I will overcome this in the next year!
My fear of not being good enough sometimes keeps me from being anything at all. I am afraid to be too much, too little, too wrong. I am trying to learn that the only standard I have to live up to is my own. All I have to do is my best. Those who matter will love me for who I am and those who won't don't matter.
I have been afraid that being my authentic self will cause people to abandon me. And that fear isn't wrong -- I've seen in these years of difficult and in this particular year of asking for help -- that people will back away from difficulty, from things they don't understand, from things that make them uncomfortable. But just as many OR MORE people will show up! Authenticity is the way, but every change and transition involves loss.
One big fear is that I will fall back into the darkness like I did the last two years. That ghosts from the past (former husband) re-emerge and shatter my confidence and the inner peace that I am starting to find.
The fear of not having a work life that defines me. I plan on working g on letting that go by Learning to live on less Traveling more making new friends and visiting old ones finding work that is meaningful and fun but not consuming
I have a fear of being unproductive and under-occupied. I can’t fathom giving up commitments as I often feel like they make me who I am. It limits me in burning my candle at both ends and I don’t function well on any of my commitments, and it is straining my marriage. I hope to “grow my no” and re-prioritise my time so that I am not so overwhelmed. I want to learn to be okay with not maxing out.
I am terrified of my husband dying. I'm no longer terrified of myself dying, but he's older than I am, and even though in much better physical condition, shit happens. I lost too many people this year due to illness (not necessarily COVID), accidents, etc. Every day you live increases the chances that you'll go the next. It's a horrible feeling. What I should be doing is celebrating every moment we enjoy together.
Now that I am retired and the cost of living has shot up, I fear spending more than my savings can support. I also fear the prospect of a health crisis. I will be more measured in my spending and will attempt to come to grips with the reality that some things are out of my hands. I will also attempt to become less fearful of illness around me.
I guess imposter syndrome is a fear. A fear that I'm not good enough to be where I am in life and that one day I'll lose everything I've built up because someone will point out that I don't know what I'm doing or that someone else could be doing it better. I have flown very close to the sun while still very young and now my daily worry is that I've flown too close and it will all collapse around me. I suppose the only thing I can do is just keep being good at everything I do and keep achieving more, to solidify my place so well that I can prove to myself that I deserve to be where I am.
I am worried about the progression of my metastatic breast cancer ...
I have a general level of anxiety about stepping out of my comfort zone. Not sure what, if anything, that I can do to improve this.
I fear that I am not worthy, I fear that A will get fed up. I fear oncoming disability. No plans to overcome that yet, first just getting through the upcoming medical visits and decisions. On a more limited level, I fear not making the right decision, which is why I take so long, and also suffer decision fatigue. That I can work on!
I have a fear of never finding love, platonic or romantic. It limits me by making me lonely. I have no idea how to let it go or overcome it, as I think it's a totally rational fear that stems from my parents' divorce.
This is the one question where the answer is very similar to last year. I fear that we are in dark times. That people have lost trust in one another, in democracy, and in fundamental human decency. We've had one environmental crisis after another. The war. The assault on the nation's Capitol on January 6th and on our electoral process. Ever-intensifying polarization. Increasing racial, ethnic, and religious intolerance. The overturning of Roe v. Wade. It's not a question of "letting it go" or tuning out, as much as I want to do so. I plan to stay engaged. I can't fix the world, but I can contribute as a leader in my community.
I am scared of what others think and I am working to release myself of that more & more as I uphold boundaries around my limiting beliefs and by re-examining failure and what it means to me as oppose to the belief that others download on me.
Being vulnerable with people, letting ppl in. It’s such a big risk to let someone close to you, see the real you, touch you. Etc. I’m very selective about who I let near me and I take it very personally when I’ve made a mistake. I don’t particularly even have a problem with being this way, but through therapy and artist development I’ve found that it makes it hard for ppl to connect to me (like as an artist). So I guess I have to find a happy medium or something.
I fear getting my blood pressure taken. It's developed into a phobia. This has been a real struggle and I have made my BP go up and I take the minimum dose of medicine. I am trying self hypnosis for this and I may pursue CBT. I know this is all in my head!
The fear of failure always is present. The stakes are higher these days with a family and two homes. I played the safe route with the decision this summer to finish my 10 years of teaching and to vest in the teacher pension. I don’t know if this will make me happy. I question whether I made this decision out of logic or out of fear. I don’t really plan on letting this go this year. It’s the nature of the beast and the decision I made. Only time will tell if it was a good one. As far the fear of failure I can start to prepare for my future by thinking of other opportunities and what I might like to do outside of teaching one day.
Same same as last year. I'm scared to look dumb say the wrong thing offend someone, step on someone's toes, let someone down. This ultimately makes me say yes to a lot of things I really want to say no to. I want to stop living on fear of how other people will judge me or react, but rather live for myself. This year I want a motto - is this good for me? Do what's best for me. Something like that. It's OK to say no. When I look at last years answer - I stared doing this 3 days ago with eliya, and I hope to continue. I would love to train my brain to go to the positives again..
Got to be work again? I think it feels like that because it's a new job and I've had so much instability over the past few years. My insecurity about performing at work holds me back in many ways - ease of mind, being more flexible in my working arrangements and location. Not sure what else! I think I just need to be in the job another 6+ months to feel more settled. And / or build a good plan that I can agree with my manager and work off.
I have a huge fear of being rejected / of being too much of a burden / of annoying people who are important to me. The plan is therapy of course, but also just trying to ignore it and still do things that I'd like to.
I fear the culture that has taken hold of the capitalist world. It is a culture that has normalised polarisation, rudeness, violence, alienation, whatever is necessary to get what you need. I see social chaos lurking on the horizon, and while I don't want to exist with or in it, I don't know how to stave it off. When the vaccine mandates came out, I had never seen behaviour that made me want to be a hermit, but that feeling hasn't gone away. In the coming year I plan to practice open-heartedness and kindness. I plan to model the behaviours I want to see in others.
My three big fears are: 1. Being abandoned and alone 2. Running out of money (bag lady when I’m old and vulnerable) 3. Climate change chaos The first one is the most limiting - it’s driven me my entire life. I sacrifice everything on the altar of relationship and often come away disappointed. And I’m not going to worry about it this year. I’m going to communicate better with my mate; be less placating and more clear. But I’m also going to be gentle with myself around this issue. Care for that sad inner “little me” who is so afraid.
I'm actually doing better with the fear about money - I don't hyperventillate on the way to the ATM nearly as much. I need to keep working on this, but also need to work on my fear of going to the dentist. Which wasn't ever a problem until I got several really horrible dentists in a row.
I usually say that I don't really have any fears but I guess honestly I do have some that the US is going to continue to decline. I kind of think that won't be my problem since I hope to not live there anymore, but it does suck for the progressive people that do live there. I fear that they are going to go back further in time as far as gay rights and race rights and things like that. I don't understand how half the country can be such backwards idiots. I just don't want to be there anymore.
I still fear getting Covid and am still careful but it hasn't limited me because I keep on learning and being with people online. I fear that I will never get rid of my clutter and catch up on all of the financial things that I need to do. I plan on tackling those problems one step at a time, "inch by inch, row by row, gonna make this garden grow."
I have a fear of either trusting too much or not at all, I hope to be able to find the sweet spot of the in between.
Probably it's the fear of unexpected changes. I'm always scared that my life will change for the worst in the way I least expect it to.
My limiting fear is that if people are unhappy with me, or disagree with my worldview, that they won't "like" me. I hope to let it go by embracing the fact that I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and that's fine. I'm useful to enough people that I don't have to worry about being useful to ALL the people. Also, I have a niggling fear of being kicked out of France for some obscure reason like "too many traffic tickets" or "Didn't give us the right papers for visa application". That's only cured by obtaining citizenship. My biggest fear, though, is that the EU falls apart. If it does, at least I'm in the best country, but that would be a horrific outcome. Second to that fear, but related to it, is that Putin launches a nuclear weapon. But he can't possibly be allowed, by his military, to do that. Can he?
The fear of rejection. Entering into an open relationship has forced me to face this fear as I didn't realise how much it was affecting my reactions. So I'm reading books and plan to meditate a lot more in the next 6 months.
Fear is a funny word...I have a hard time pinpointing specific daily life fears. I think of worry, is that the same as fear? I worry about life without Joe and keeping up the house, the cars, the whole of it all without him and how I will be able to stand up amidst the grief. I feel worry about his disease progression and a deep deep sorrow and compassion. Worry is like fear in that it projects into an unknown future. That can be limiting because resilience, flexibility and opportunity come from keeping options open, not assuming you know what is going to happen or how you will respond. Plus worry and fear taint the present moment. I believe you let it go by facing the feelings with self-compassion (not pushing them away) and also sensible planning and discussion to inform future action.
So many. Failing. Being a bad mom. Letting people down. But like if I knew what to do about it I'd be doing it already? I hope. In terms of limitations I think the biggest one is just in knowing what it is I actually want/need vs what is the fear talking
Like most humans, I have some fear of death. But rather than limit me, I feel it has made me more conscious of the importance of making the most of my time, not necessarily in accomplishments or work, but definitely in developing and sustaining my relationships with my family members and close friends, supporting and loving them. I would be afraid of losing my health except that I work hard at maintaining it by eating well, exercising daily, taking yoga classes and managing stress as best I can. I plan to continue to maintain my health to the best of my ability for my own benefit and for the benefit of my family.
As always, being afraid of rejection and not being able to reach out. Or recognizing that I'm an introvert and ok with being alone. I'm afraid of being alone in public. I think learning to be ok with being out and exposed in the world, and trusting nothing bad will happen to me.
Performing musical pieces in public. Perhaps I will busk in a local city park, or volunteer at the 'old folks' homes' such as VA, rehab and memory care for a Christmas sing along. It will require I have a reasonably sized repertoire and be able to have some song sheets.
Most of my "defects" are caused by deep self centered fears, there are so many things I am afraid of but most it comes down to a fear of just being me, of not being good enough amongst other things. Every day I live my life as me I face these fears. I want to keep growing and changing and developing in order to keep facing these fears.
I think my answer from last year will be the same, although I am trying and succeeding at staying optimistic about the state of our planet. It’s a hard push, but we must set an example for those we love.
New fear - changing and succeeding. Like.... the process of buying that house (which failed) showed me how much fear I have at making decisions that really are just for me. And letting go of things that don't benefit me anymore
I am afraid of catching COVID and getting very ill from it. It has limited my social activities, my attendance at theatre and concerts, services etc. I have to be assertive and ask people to wear masks. I have missed seeing my grandchild grow and have not been able to visit my Mother. I am going to get the latest booster and hope that Evusheld is re-authorized. I am going to figure out the safest way of doing things so that I can go to some cultural activities and get to England.
On a personal level I really am not fearful about very much. I am fearful for the United States: it is becoming more divided; the very wealthy are wealthier and the poor are poorer; I am a afraid for women I am afraid for Jews; I am afraid for the homeless. I fear for the planet. Mostly I am afraid for the young people and the earth they are inheriting
Fear of never getting well---and of the difficulties and challenges of getting older now.
I'm in a state of emotional disconnection right now. I would say that my fear from last year still resonates loudly - not finding a partner, spending my life with the wrong person, or enduring another heartbreak. But right now I don't have the capacity to even face that. I hope to focus on myself for the foreseeable future. Travel and work remotely. Finding peace in being alone and getting more aligned with myself. This is certainly not where I thought I would be at age 30.
I fear that I will never be able to loose all the weight I’ve put on. I’m at my heaviest ever weight, 170 lbs. I am attending OA in the hopes some of that will rub off on me. Using the 12 steps to redefine my relationship to food. It’s helping. I am already eating better than I was. Brownies and ice cream are in the rear view mirror for now.
Last year my fear was of being left alone with my mother and the job I took to be a good mother - a job I don't need for that reason anymore, and now I am doing to earn my living and my retirement. I was afraid my child would be gone and my Jenga tower would clatter and collapse. And that is why I sinned against my mother last year. But I'm finding that I'm adjusting - not as quickly as my baby, but yes I'm adjusting - to my life being what it was twenty years ago for the twenty years before that. And that will help me turn away from sin the next time temptation arises.
Fear of getting in my own way for happiness. I’m trying to think positive when I get in my way. My limiting beliefs, negative thoughts and reservations of life.
Same as always. Spending money on myself. Not worth it...
All my life, I've figured people will judge and reject me because of my body. I've never been the stick-thin, Audrey Hepburn-esque person that my mother so desperately wanted for a daughter. She began informing me, when I was at a very early age, that no one would be friends with me, teachers would automatically give me poorer grades, no one would ever hire me, and--of course--I'd never have anyone love me... ... all because I was "too fat." Because of her rhetoric, I never tried many of the things I wanted to do in life. I rarely tried to make friends, or attract any man's attention--I figured at best it was simply futile... at worst, I'd be derided. Hell, when I was in college and wanted to take a class for beginning horse riders, my mom informed me I'd never be allowed to take the class because I was too "obese" to ride. Here is a good time to interject: I was 5'4", and weighed 138 lbs. at the time. And no--I didn't take the class because... even though I knew, logically, that my mom was full of b.s., and a nasty piece of work... she still managed to suck every fiber of confidence out of me. Her words & attitude have overshadowed my mindset on a lot of things in my life, particularly about my weight... even though I've many times realized, first-hand, the nonsense and lack of truth in her words. I'm doubling down on kicking Mom completely out of my mind & life this year. She's long dead--37 years now--and I'm (technically) an old woman. She doesn't "get" a say in my life anymore--she shouldn't have ever had a say, with her poisonous mind and attitude, to begin with. She doesn't get to "tell" me how I should feel about myself, or the work, friends, pastimes, or love interests I might pursue. No more.
I always fear people judging me negatively. Have no idea how to let it go and will probably forever hate my mother for instilling that in me.
My lack of organizational skills and a fear of rejection must be connected in some weird and chaotic miasma. The solution in the coming year is simple. Job one: get organized. Next, realize that I'm the only one who has to like me. All the rest is certain to follow. I'm leaving the screen to sort through some awesome paperwork.
Going blind. It is already happened. My vision is low. especially at night. I’ve learned to accept help. And be thankful for treatment instead of dwelling on what I can’t do.
A fear that's kind of like a fear of getting old. I have so many things that I want to do yet with my life. I feel like I don't have enough time to do them all. I want to live my life before I get to old to enjoy some things. Already, at age 53 the joints in my hands hurt sometimes, I get sciatic nerve pain in my right thigh, and I have a tendon pain in my left heel. Am I already falling apart so soon? I have a whole homestead to build. I need to get it ready for when the grandchildren come and stay in the summer and some holidays. Maybe one of them would even get married here... that would be so wonderful! To overcome this, I need to slow down enough to enjoy every moment. I'd like to journal consistently too. Getting my thoughts onto paper has always helped me clear my head and focus on what's important. I need to talk to my kids and grandkids more too.
Que ma leucémie vienne entraver ma vie et donc celle de toute ma famille: traitements, fatigue, visites à l'hôpital, etc. Et dernièrement j'ai réalisé que beaucoup de craintes que j'ai eu, comme avoir un grossesse difficile ou un enfant malade, se sont concrétisées. Je crois que de continuer à vivre dans le positivisme, l'optimisme, en prenant davantage soin de moi, est la meilleure façon de vivre avec cette crainte. Car en fait je serai malade quand je serai malade: pas avant.
A fear which is deeply set into my body is that I am not enough. I see that it was also my fear last year. I faced this fear head-on this summer with Rohit and I can see that no matter what it will haunt me until I do the work to change my way of thinking. I strongly want to let go of this fear. It is not based in reality.
I'm not afraid of very much. I think dying with unfinished work bugs me. I suppose I'm afraid for my kids and grandkids, the future, their salvation, their lives, but I don't know. I'm too tired to be afraid.
I don't operate on fear much, which is the result of many years of mindful effort. That doesn't mean that I don't get anxious, but fear does not guide my life. That said, I do fear for our world. I try to approach that the way I approach all fear. I wait to see what happens and do my best to do whatever is needed to be done step by step.
Same as last year, I fear becoming more independent. I have a very stable life with a lot of the sameness that comes with that in my relationship and work. But there is a lot of effort to keep the peace and make others happy at the expense of my own enjoyment wrapped up in that. It would be great to be in a relationship where my partner lets me know that they feel attracted to me and wants to have sex regularly. It would be great to work in a job that fulfills me creatively while not requiring me to babysit incompetent folks by myself. I am still employed, financially secure, in a relationship, but a bit empty.
I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of embarrassment if I let everyone know I'm trying something and they find out it didn't work. I'm afraid that I won't be perfect I'm afraid I won't be loved I'm afraid I will make people angry. In the meantime, due to the paralyzing nature of this fear, I am not perfect and sometimes I am not loved and I do not spread anything in the world, neither anger nor joy. I am afraid I have run out of time. And so instead of using what I have left, I sit and stare at what has passed and I feel sorry for it and not grateful. And worthless and unworthy. I am not sure how to let this go. I have been trying to let it go my whole life. Embracing selfishness may be a way. Letting go of judgement on everyone, and therefore myself. Journaling more, yoga (more about the breathing) and... Prayer. Prayer for sure, to ask for the strength to move and forgiveness for all those still days and nights and years.
Fear of leaving my home, it is very limiting but home delivery makes it easy to make a habit of staying in. I want to start taking classes at the local community college to get out and have something to do.
I have a fear of water and, more specifically, drowning. I plan to take swimming lessons in the coming year to lessen that fear.
Fear of wasting time and not attempting to engage with all the things that need doing in the world--sitting around drinking or watching tv--which makes me get too busy and rush around. I'm going to quit work this coming year, and I need to be conscious about everything that I take on. Just housework and meals and being a good friend takes the majority of time.
I have a fear of feeling lonely. Living on my own has really helped me overcome it, so I am more comfortable spending time alone. But I am still concerned about "ending up" alone. Especially as so many of my friends have found themselves in serious partnerships over the past few years, and I feel left behind. It's hard to feel like I'm going to find a partner, something I have wanted for a long time, and have made efforts to become better with. I'm such a good friend. I can have a serious relationship with anyone. So why do I keep ending up disappointed or neutral when it comes to dating? A good friend said my desensitization of the possibility of heartbreak is something to notice. I don't become upset over a small break up or getting dumped. But big ones, or ones where I really saw potential, bum me the fuck out. I'm not sure if I'm overcoming this fear, but I haven't stopped dating. I sometimes put in less effort but I'm not giving up. I'm still young, that I know. Relationships for me have always been short or drawn out longer than necessary. I haven't gotten to a point in a relationship where I wanted to call someone my boyfriend since I was 16. So, am I cock blocking myself? I really do love my life and my independence. I would like to stop having to be quite so independent, I want to be able to rely on a person to be there for me in the ways I need my friends to be. Especially as they're growing into their reliance on their significant other and I talk to them less, or they need me less.
A fear I have is of disappointing people. I plan to overcome it in the coming year by being true to myself and not worrying so much about what other people think.
There are number of fears. The largest and most recent all have to do with covid. I’ve had it. It made me sick. What are the long term effects of having had it and having gotten that sick? How will I not get it again? What will happen to me long term if I do get it again? How will I maintain the friendships that I have when we have different levels of fear about it? What happens when our risk tolerance varies? More than two years of caution and getting sick has made me life smaller and traumatized me. How will I overcome feeling traumatized and betrayed by people and institutions in my life?
That I won't be able to hike or ride my bicycle again, even after my knee replacement. Do the PT, mind the doctors, continue losing weight.
Oh gosh, how much space do I have? I wasn’t fearful when I was younger. I remember telling my kids that driving was the only thing I was afraid of. But now I wonder if that was a case of “ignorance is bliss.” Now the world seems so scary, so hostile. It feels like bad people are in charge of everything, and the people I was always taught to trust are the last people who should be trusted. Plus it seems that I am indeed gullible and naive, as people have told me on and off most of my adult life. I can’t trust my own judgment, and I can’t trust the people in charge - or apparently anyone else. So how to overccome the feeling that the world has gone crazy and bad things are ahead? Beats me. The closest I come is remembering that we’re only here for a little while. And that effort counts as much as results, as far as I have been able to figure out. So I take it a day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time, and do the best I can with what I have to work with. And I try not to spread my fear to these around me. That’s all I’ve got. If God has other ideas on the subject, God will let me know in due time. I’m certainly listening.
I fear not being loved for who I am, not being desired in satisfying ways, and not being permitted to have the kind of family life I want, and it has at times kept me in cycles of fear, clinging to or running from relationships. I want to let go of this fear, and trust that I am lovable and desirable, so that I can be discerning about what I actually want out of my relationships, from a grounded and confident place.
I am afraid of my mind slowing down and not working as well. Moving into a retirement community will help and getting more exercise and more mind challenging games.
I sometimes fear that my husband's and/or my health will get worse and prevent us from doing things we want to & need to do. I let it go by not focusing and working about it. By nature I try not to worry about things that I hsve no cont
I have a fear that others will think poorly of me for various reasons. I can celebrate my own accomplishments, but otherwise it is hard to let go of
I certainly fear aging and have worked hard to keep myself healthy. Does that limit me? I can have a hard time relaxing because of my fears, that something will go wrong if I don't stay on top of things. So, I can't enjoy the 'now' as well as I might. To get past that I have to practice 'surrender'. Even though it may feel like defeat, it isn't.
I fear that people will find out about my infidelity. It's held me back from truly being who I am and expressing myself completely. I don't know how I plan on letting it go, or overcoming it ever, let alone in the next year.
I'm still afraid that I won't pull down the curtain of perfection and allow the flow of creativity to emerge and not be stopped! The results of letting go will be that I will write, write, write, collage, contemplate, stay open hearted and share from that space. Find some joy in all that I do.
Fear of getting sick or having an accident, not specifically covid but something more serious and my partner having to take care of me. It's somewhat irrational. I need to continue to train myself to stay in present moment, and to take care of myself.
I have a strong family history of Alzheimer’s disease on my mothers’s side. My grandmother started showing signs at age 55, which today is considered premature, and spent the last 5 years of her life in a nursing home. She continuously ran away from home, not recognizing her husband nor her children. And in 1965, nursing homes were the only “palliative treatment.”. My mother feared the disease throughout the last half of her life, making her daughters promise we would never put her into a nursing home. Fortunately, she did not start showing signs until she was 83, and was able to remain in her home with the help of full time caregivers from age 88 till her death at age 93. My sister and I are crazy scared, and attribute every memory lapse, lost word, forgotten name, to this dreaded condition. I wish I had a positive plan in place for the upcoming year on coping with the angst. I only know I need one!
I am afraid of feeling the pain of sadness. I am just starting to learn how to let sadness have the right of way instead of stuffing and shutting it down. I think it's been making me physically ill, the sadness stuffing.
I'm a very anxious and nervous person, although I cannot tell unless my husband lets me know. I think I have been living in a state of survival most of my life, and am fearful of so many things. A lot of it has to do with not wanting to make a mistake or upset anyone. I've been working on this trait over the past few years and think I can see an improvement. But I've got more work to do. Recently, I came across something called a "mind movie" where I can meditate and play empowering music and think about all these goals of being fearless and strong. I'm going to try this for a while. The song that I like for this is "Unstoppable" by Sia. What a fitting empowering song.
I am afraid of heights. Always have been. I have no plans to overcome that fear. That said, I have noticed that as I move through my 70s, I have become increasingly cautious about where and when I bike. It seems that the roads have become narrower (New Jersey is not famous for its bike lanes, but the situation is improving in some areas, slowly). I hope to log more miles this year than I did last. I anticipate (hope) that the more miles I ride, the less fearful I'll be.
I have 3 fears -- 1)Heights & Bridges - it comes & goes depending on where/when. If I find myself facing one or the other -- or both(!) & if there's no alternative but to deal with the impossible situation - I struggle through. I feel a shudder in my body & do my best to avoid such situations - but if unavoidable I will face it & get through it. I repeat a positive outcome to myself & keep control of my breathing. Then as soon as possible I do a WHOLE BODY shudder/shake out & jump up/down to allow my body & entire internal senses reset. 2) Ending my marriage - Is something I have come to think should've best been done at least 10-15 yrs ago. But because I'm at my core a "lazy" person - I procrastinate so long doing anything definitive to make a change that before I know it - another anniversary goes by. I used to want to end it because of anger/resentment / unfulfilled "promises" -- but now that I have made certain moves on my own for myself - I'm no longer miserable. I'm happier where I am & doing what I feel gives me purpose. But the eventual ending of my marriage seems inevitable. So the fear that lingers is "how will I get by w/o financial stability" 3) Death -- This is my worst fear & one that nobody can help give me assurances for - beca we'll all go through it - but nobody can (really) come back to give advice etc. On the other hand - listening to "near death" experiences are somewhat comforting. On the down side - what if those accounts aren't true?!? Who REALLY knows? Nobody! But the days I can set it out of my mind & not allow the fear to take over & turn into a full blown panic attack - is a good day!!
I wonder if I've been afraid that I can't follow through completely on anything - that I'll be stuck here - in this house, with all this junk around, in this community, in this shitty country, watching shitty TV and playing brain games until I die. I have definitely felt stuck to my chair, stuck in the same old loops. Scott's retirement could be the unsticking point. I'm so grateful that we can move on together. It's much less scary.
Sometimes I am afraid that I am “weird” or abnormal in some way that makes me do things in public or with friends that are not the best. But I think maybe everyone feels like this a little bit and also mom made me feel that it’s not safe in the world and not to trust.
Everything, I’m in a 24/7/365 state of fear/stress/anxiety. It’s my nature. Only help would be regular, healthy human contact and connection but people like i repel the people we need so nothing changes nor can.
I've always joked that there are two kinds of people: Those who invent the airplane, and those who invent the parachute. I have always been "a parachute kind of girl." I have ALWAYS been the one to whom others turn to get through situations, - both good and bad. I've been a lifeguard - keep others from drowning. I am certified in First Aid - intervenes in the death process of my mother, and we saved her life. I have been preparing for the "downside" of issues for so long, that I hold back in being adventurous on ANYTHING! Turns out that for reasons far too old, and far too many, I actually make decisions out of fear....want to let go of some of that.
My mother and I had a conversation the other day about how I wasn't afraid of much at all as a child. This conversation was prompted from a commercial that shows a child sitting on Santa's lap and peeing. She said, "I never had to worry about you crying when it came to seeing Santa. You just weren't that kind of child." And I said,"Yeah I don't recall being afraid of much. Matter of fact, I still am not." Fear is a very powerful emotion. It tends to really hold people back from truly experiencing life - in its most simple way. This quote from Henry David Thoreau on his time living in Walden comes to mind for me, "I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan - like as to put to rout all that was not life." In order to live like this, you have to really embrace your fear and live it out. We all have fears. It's a natural and human aspect of life. During the pandemic; it became very clear to me that whatever it is that we are doing, make it worthwhile and on purpose - don't waste one more second on frivolities or foolishness - but do have fun! Our life and our time is precious - matter of fact it's a very valuable resource. If there is something I need to say or do; regardless of the fear that may rise up to protect my perceived threats or small thinking - I will say or do that thing. It's as simple as that for me when it comes to letting go and overcoming the fear. Damn the consequences. I must follow my prompts and vision. Remember...fear pushes, but vision pulls.
I fear that my husband’s health and mobility problems will wear me down and make me Physically and psychologically sick. I will have to ask for help from social services if it gets bad. I am sinking.
I don't much deal in fear because it seems to muddy decisionmaking. But, I guess I am fearful about Mandela Barnes loss in the upcoming election to someone that denies the right and importance of the vote. I have said to many people that I think the majority of the people of WI are not so stupid as to elect another election-denying Republican at the statewide level. I am afraid that I might have missed on my judgment of just how stupid some people are.
As I’m aging and I’m physically feeling more limited, I’m fearful of needing help. I’m trying to stay active, exercise, walk, and stay as healthy as I can. I also need to learn to ask for help when I need it.
ALWAYS I have been most afraid of going crazy. Still possible, but inexplicably doesn’t haunt me right now. Right now I am 100% confident and independent, and at the same time wrestling with wanting everyone to like me, and admire me. I think separating myself from projects, people, situations that bring this on … I can practice what that feels like to be free. I have luck right now to be able to do exactly this, and still have friends and life to be filled.
I fear the unknown to a certain degree and it causes me to procrastinate which is further delaying me from reaching my goals. This must stop. ASAP.
I'm still afraid of Covid. I stay in the house too much, avoid crowds, don't go to shul, don't relax in coffeeshops, don't folkdance, and don't want to get on planes or travel in trains unless in a bedroom. My other fears have increased over the years, and I don't know how to dial them back: mountain roads, being on the ocean, being out at night...and being in groups of strangers. I don't know how to overcome any of them right now.
I refuse to let fear into my life. Life is a journey that's born in each moment, rarely do you fear now. You fear what has happened, which can't be changed, or you fear what's coming & that robs you of the joy from this moment. Release the fear & enjoy every moment.
I think from the birthday tarot reading that I'm a bit afraid of my ambition, afraid of not being able to make it, so holding myself back a little, hoping for less. What would it look like if I worked towards some crazy dreams? Maybe not an academy award, but how about getting my regional career back? How about film and commercial and VO work? Taking the daily actions is what it's all about. Getting my home studio set up figured out, reaching out to folks, updating my website. Daily practice. Letting the fear of failure take a back seat. Think of all the wonderful things that I've done!
thats a good question i always fear change but i did make a change this year, trying a new company so better than before i guess fear of dying or getting very ill has kept us inside but now with bivalent etc hopefully we'll just do our thing but masking? i don't know
A fear that I have is... there are plenty but I will choose one. I think one is not being capable of really challenging myself in my job. I have kept the same job that I have because it's comfortable and the environment is familiar. I will have to overcome this fear because I'm leaving my job in less than a month! So I want to challenge myself and find a job that challenges me and uses the strengths that I have, while also growing parts of myself that could be developed more.
My fear is for democracy. There is little I can do to save our country, but supporting reasonable candidates can help. This is one of the saddest times in our history and I fear that the crazies on the right will lead us to the brink of failure.
I have a fear of other people not liking me. I plan on trying to stay true to ideals rather than people.
I'm so afraid, I won't fall in love again and that I'll always be stuck wanting SAN and being manipulated by him. If I knew how to let this go, I would. I'm trying to go through the motions of being available and connecting in ways that are new, but I do feel pretty hopeless about it. See Q8
Failure is still a fear but so is letting people down. I am learning to not beat myself up when things go wrong it generally isn't all my fault but if it is I am no longer afraid to own it apologize and move forward. I am afraid I am not the best partner all the time and still crave time alone so finding the balance with a partner that wants to be with me 24/7 is challenging but I am confident with the way to communicate that I can ask for what I need and not have it derail the relationship. I hope that we continue to work in this way and that our time together is enjoyable and not something I need time away from moving into the new year.
My fear of intimacy with Karen and in social situations continues to limit me. I need to just push through without fear of failure.
I fear for our country and out world. Fascism is a serious threat. The climate disaster is upon us (with Florida having just been hit with hurricane Ian). There is a lot to be afraid of--for my kids, grandkids, and generations to come.
There is nothing that comes to me in this moment. I suppose if I were in an immediate life or death situation, I would think otherwise. As I try to engage this question I can detect some fear or hesitation at the thought or idea of being in an intimate romantic relationship, especially after the last one. This might actually be a good thing for me right now as I am getting to know myself better without the distraction of another person. I think the overcoming of this subtle fear comes down to knowing myself and trusting myself to make healthy relationship choices.
Some choose not to act out of fear of failure. I sabotage myself (specially in the area of weight loss) due to fear of success. Being horribly overweight has been my persona for so long, I fear change. But I MUST try to overcome this. The negative impact on my health is considerable.
I’m afraid of being caught unprepared, which is one of those fun trauma responses. I’ve mostly been able to keep this from ruling my life, but it really digs its claws into my climate anxiety. I don’t know that the fear will ever leave me, but I can make practical plans for the future. I have been making lots of plans, but I don’t know how practical they have been. I’d like to marry reality a bit more with my visions of the future.
Right now? I’m not afraid. I know that my retirement with be a renewal and rededication of my rabbinate, moving from a congregational rabbi to a community rabbi. I’m ready.
I think my fear is that I will just coast at work and let things go slowly and things will be not be enough to keep me interested and hard working. Otherwise I am ok with my fears
My biggest fear is my dying before all our financials are set up for our autistic son. I am trying to work with financial planner and a start with a lawyer. I am putting more energy in this problem.
There is a difference between being fearful and being risk-aware. The fear that limits and freezes is the fear of the unknown. The way to overcome that is becoming informed enough to exercise reasonable amounts of caution. Knowledge can be the way through, as is preparation for the "known unknowns". There will always be existential threats, and we cannot always protect ourselves from every one of them. We can, however, be aware in our daily situations without being frozen into inaction.
I fear that I will get sick or take a fall or have something happen while I am living alone and that I won't be able to get help. I also fear that I won't be able to care for myself if something does happen.
I have a fear of not being accepted resulting in rejection, isolation, not belonging. One instance of this is the wearing of masks. If other people wear masks, I will. Because even tho it may not matter or do any good, it can’t hurt. And people do spread lots of virus and bacterial material thru the air. But when no one wears a mask, I will not be the only one. And it’s because of fear of being regarded different and rejection.This probably wouldn’t really happen. How can I overcome this? Take the courage to do it anyway and if someone makes fun of me , be prepared to make a joke out of it or respond in an absurd way too lessen tension. Not sure I’ll ever be able to do this but it would be great if I could.
Fear of lacking money to be able to afford food and shelter. Fear of lacking money to pay for my expensive medical costs, due to a chronic disease that is partially made worse by stress. I can't overcome that fear in a capitalistic world. I don't know how to overthrow this system that profits to so few.
A fear of rejection. Of not being loved of being unlovable. I plan on continuing to practice gratitude and to remember times I have been extremely loved and cared for
I have lot of fears. They are the quiet fears that get in my way. They are deep fears that keep me from being amazing. The big, big, big fear is that I'm not good enough. I have to remind myself that I am good enough. Good enough to be loved. Good enough to love. Good enough as a dad. Good enough as a husband. Good enough as a lover. Good enough at my work. I learned a simple truth very recently that confidence comes as a result. To build confidence you have to keep doing every day. You lack confidence as a cook. Then cook. You lack confidence as a writer. Then write. I lack confidence as a coach. What do I need to do? Find more clients to coach. Coach. Coach. Coach. This time next year I will be coaching regularly.
I don't know what to do next. I am in a physically limiting environment. Allergies, chemical and other sensitivities, self-limited food options to maintain health, etc. I should be able to extend the diversity of my thoughts and alternatives.
Last year's answer was about a fear of commitment that's caused me to bounce around and avoid serious, long-term relationships so I won't give the same answer again this time around. Instead, I'll say that I've discovered that I also have a fear of slowing down and not doing anything. I tend to just jam-pack the day with activities so as to distract myself from the thoughts that enter my head when I slow down and live more deliberately. So one of the things that I plan to do in order to overcome this fear is to force myself to take 6-12 months off while I just focus on trying to meet someone special and maybe occasionally working so that I don't eat into my savings. It's scary but I think that's also what makes it exciting: I've never done that before and I'm curious to see what comes out of it.
This is the worst set of questions yet. It assumes that all fears limit the people who have them, and that anyone writing about a fear on this site must be planning on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year. And the relationship between the first and the second question here implies that if a fear limits someone in some way, the fear (or the limiting, or both) must be bad to that extent. None of these things need be true. Some fears might not limit the people who have them. I may fear that humans won't survive the heat death of the sun, but not be limited by this fear at all. I may be limited by fears in a manner that I think is good - for instance, if I have a fear of speaking over my colleagues at meetings, this could motivate me to be more respectful of them. What a healthy fear! I wish more people had that one! I don't plan to let go of that fear at all, limit me though it might. Likewise I might fear that I'll get cancer if I start smoking, and the fear will motivate me to resist the temptation. I sure am glad I have that fear! Not giving that one up any time soon! And even if I do feel negatively limited by some fear that I have, maybe I just don't plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year. I've had enough of your prodding, 10Q.
I fear a stroke. I’m trying to trust my Chinese doctor and not take western medicine. Her method is giving me herbs that cleanse my blood rather than just thin it. I want to believe it so I quit taking the medication the cardiologist gave me. I still can’t seem to be confident about it yet. I guess I’ll know by this time next year!
My fear of confronting my husband about his alcoholism. I feel like I have one shot to communicate clearly - that I love him, but that I can't live in limbo. Either he gets involved in recovery, or I can't stay married to him. There are plenty of other issues that need to be addressed: communication, our different approaches to life, inequality and unfairness in our relationship, power struggles, etc., but I don't feel we can even start to address any of these issues without sobriety in the home.
Being alone. I have spent thirty years now, nearly, trying to make sure I don't feel again like I did in 8th grade, shut out of every friend group, with no one who wanted to eat lunch with me. So I've been in relationships and friendships with toxic people as well as people who weren't toxic but just weren't good for me, personally, all in the name of not feeling like that thirteen year old that I was. I don't know how I'll let it go and overcome, but I know that I'm working on healing, and so that will be part of what I heal.
There are a few things which concern me about myself and my life - being single, not knowing what I'm going to be doing in one year when I read this - but they're not fears, which is a good thing. I'm glad I've got the self-belief to feel confident in myself and my actions.
The fear of growing older and being unable to care for Jared, our disabled son who we’ve chosen to keep home. The fear gets more real with every passing year after all he’ll be 43 and we’re 73/72. We know his every need. Yes we’re lucky to live in AZ that provides $$ for services so he’s cared for 5 days a week till 330 but we care for him the rest of the day and the nights can be challenging because he get insomnia or has to be changed. How we do it I don’t know but we love him so much so it’s no problem. I can get obsessed thinking about it, even a bit depressed because there is no answer and someday we’ll have difficult days. One things is for sure, we’ll never let him suffer.
Anxiety. It's not going away. It's manageable but a part of me. The pandemic didn't help and I'm realizing the extent to which it fortified my introvert tendencies. My reluctance to socialize outside of good friends and small situations has grown by leaps and bounds and a few leaps after that. I've already overcome it a few times recently and done something I didn't want to, so it seems that I still can when I need to yet I waste a lot of energy in annoyance and fear ahead of time. I'm out of practice and that has turned out to be a way bigger deal than anyone expected.
I choose not to live in fear, but fears certainly are pervasive and invasive. So many what ifs? Reading the Holy Scriptures, and concentrating on God who has overcome the evil in the world keep me grounded. There is coming a time of peace, and grace, mercy and no pain. God will prevail and God’s kingdom will come.
My greatest fear is that I don't measure up - physically, mentally, emotionally and in knowledge generally. Some I am planning to let go like my weight issues. I'm learning how to dress for my shape and size. I'm reminding myself that my body is not me. I am more than I see. I plan to learn to love me just the way I am now and every day. If there's truly something I need to address then I will, other than that I'm planning on letting go of these unfounded fears.
I fear not healing my relationship with Skyler anytime soon. I also fear more burdens falling to me as Susan‘s mom and Susan herself get older. I also fear being out of the loop from my kids and grandkids by being a continent away from them.
I'm scared that I'll regret having a child but I think if I want one, next year is the year to do it. I thought I would want kids more than I do but I think the part of me that wants them is still winning out at the moment. I'm getting married next year so I think after our wedding, we might begin trying to have a kid. I'm scared that I will hate losing my independence and the calm in my life but I think it'll ultimately be worth it.
My answer from last year stands. I fear not living up to my potential, or disappointing my family in some way. But given the overall political climate in this country, I mostly fear the MAGA movement and all the deplorables associated with it, especially the anti-Semites, racists and anti immigrant bias that comes through loud and clear.
My eternal fear is not being loved. And I have overcome it, came what may. But now, today, as the year starts, I am fearing about our elder daughter who is difficult to manage. I must put her in Hashems hands so she can reconnect with family and joy of living.
I have fear of hurt and betrayal
I think too much about what people might think of me: that they might think I’m not smart, talented, pretty, funny, fun… enough. It makes that I restrain myself. Most of the time I live with my brakes on. I think I will be happier if I let go, but still the fear of letting go is bigger. I plan to enjoy myself more. To believe in myself. I am talented, fun, funny, sexy, smart… I am enough. I am amazing. I just have to remember. I hope the coming year I will be able to let myself go a bit more and to have fun.
I'm afraid of failure. I started a new job today - no fear! I am good and I will rock this!
I fear that our country is headed in to a mid-term election nightmare. There is still no reality in the Trump-led election issue, but that doesn't stop the far-right fools from continuing to spout the nonsense. I can't let it go, nor should I. It's limiting me within my psyche, crushing my hope, creating negative thoughts about all other parts of my life, and causing me to think "why bother" about a host of things. It can't be overcome, other than a positive outcome in the elections and a quashing of the "Big Lie" that comes from the far right. Praying that goodness and mercy overwhelm us all.
Eleven years ago, my father decided to stop helping me financially, that is, to stop helping me with my rent. I've been on SS Disability since 1992, and have not been able to pay market price for an apartment because of my low income from Social Security. That is when the nightmare began, and it hasn't stopped. I became homeless at age 62. I have felt ever since then, that I have no control over my life. I now live in an apartment building where the powers that be treat us tenants as if we were four-year-olds, instead of the mature adults we are. The place gives me a roof over my head, yes, but I'm living in a nightmare. The place is run like a reform school for seniors and disabled people! And since I can't pay market price for an apartment, and since there is a shortage of subsidized housing, I am stuck here! I have no way of saving money. I feel I have no control of my own life. I feel that I am just hanging around waiting to die. The building is situated in the middle of nowhere, on a hilly four-lane highway, and I can't even get out and take a walk. When I first moved here, I didn't have a car, so I learned to use the limited bus service. But with my disabilities, it was exhausting and excruciating. Now, I have a car, and I have more freedom. But I can't afford to go anywhere. I've been dreaming of taking road trip, down to Asheville NC, then to Birmingham to visit my friend Cyndie's grave, then up to my hometown in Indiana, then to Colorado to visit my cousins and their friends. It was almost feasible, until the gas prices became astronomical! I feel like I'm suffocating sometimes, because of all that I can't do!! I've been trying for 11 years to find a way to overcome my situation, but can't find a way out!
I don't think any of my current fears are unfounded, therefore I can't let any of them go. Most of it surrounds how my husband's and my parents' aging and eventual deaths will affect us. I fear that my husband will become an orphan soon, and I fear how that will affect him, emotionally and physically. I want to be able to support him in his grief. There will be a lot of work to do physically, because his mom is a couple of timezones away from us. And he will be emotionally distraught, since he has no brothers or sisters to share this burden with. He still has cousins, but we seem to only see them at funerals. It's going to be a strain on both of us energetically to deal with his mom's aftermath, since she is raging against her own light going out. None of life is easy, once you start aging.
Fear that others don't respect my opinions and that I am not being taken seriously. This has come up for me in my workplace more than anywhere else. I think I need to de-personalize my responses when people reject my ideas or have plans that run counter to them. I tend to take these oppositions personally and translate them into a disregard for me as a person.
I have a fear of being alone and not meeting someone. I’ve been trying to combat it through self love, being aware of these thoughts and also enjoying being by myself and spending time alone.
My answer from last year very much focuses on my ever-present job and career concerns and those are still valid: "A fear I have is definitely have too much responsibility, getting criticized, getting turned down. I would like to push through that, to achieve on projects and strategies in the corporate world, to continue to improve." I guess I would add, taking care of myself while my children or family are being ignored is a fear. I am not sure how to deal with that or face that. I think building a relationship with my husband is very much key to that. I am sure I am afraid of feeling rejected by him, which is why there is distance and lack of trust between us, to be overcome. And overcoming that is definitely scary!
I have a significant fear of failure and of being "found out" as a fraud. These lead me to take fewer and less significant risks. However, this year I worked past my fear of failure and resigned from my job of over 11 years to start my own law practice. I think that is a huge step in the right direction. I am going to keep finding opportunities to be afraid and act anyway so that I can practice being courageous.
I continue to work on weathering the winter. I really did better with this last year, but it is a work in progress, but my answer this year is related to the way I approach fear itself. Certain things, especially in the small hours of night, seize me with fear: financial worries, health worries, career worries. I ruminate and can't get my thoughts to stop. Fear flashes through my body, this is especially true in relation to health. It is almost like what I imagine a hot flash to be. When unwell, I immediately disaster fantasy to ask will I ever be well again? I think some of this goes back to childhood when change happened in our lives that seemed to upend everything and in a blink we could not retrieve our former lives and selves. I need a stoic approach to fear, to distance myself from it and see it as a response I can control rather than something I can't. I need to face my fear and let it pass through me so that only I will remain, to quote Dune!
I just want to put . . . what she said. My answer is the same as last year. I have made little to no progress, and I've actually become more upset about what's happening t0 my body, due to aging or whatever. I am sore head to toe, exercise hurts in ways it never did before, and my weight gain isn't helping. My self esteem in terms of my physical self is the pits. I can't spend the last quarter of my life in this state of mind, so I need to SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT. This is no way to live.
FOMO :-) Getting into our 60’s there’s this underlying fear of making sure we are taking advantage of life and ‘doing it right’ without wasting it. Precious time wasted, as it were. But hey, if that’s the biggest worry I guess things are pretty dang good. Always in hind sight it seems we are using time pretty well:/)
My current fear is of falling and breaking something again, despite being deemed a low fall risk by the Pt and my final home evaluation. I periodically have flashbacks of the fall that essentially ruined my life for about six months, and it continues to haunt me, especially when it is wet. I can overcome this in a couple of ways. I can just sit in the place in my garden where I fell and broke my ankle last year until the fall no longer haunts me. I can sit in the backyard until the fear recedes. I can get my indoor bike set up so I can ride it, finally, which will be good for my overall fitness and leg strength in particular. And I can do the exercises specifically designed to make my foot and ankle stronger. And, now that it’s cooler, I can go for walks in the morning and go to a pool. I lack motivation to do anything but what I really need to do to overcome this fear is by telling it to get lost and stop all my negative self talk about laziness. Sadly, I feel like laziness is an irrational and ridiculous excuse. If I don’t do much of anything, I won’t be afraid of falling. It is a vicious cycle and a self defeating prophecy. So I think really what I have to do, is voice dialogue with myself. I am not sure which self is talking I think perhaps it’s one I haven’t recognized before. Are used to think I was fearless, and I showed myself that I was when I told myself and rehab that I was a warrior. I need to find that person and talk to her and have her talk to me with compassion.
Fear of burning out hard. I’ve dealt with burnout before and it was a slog to get through. I like my current job, I like the career trajectory I’ve been on, but I am scared of over-working again and losing what makes this work special and enjoyable . I don’t want to burn myself out, so I draw boundaries and resist putting myself out there sometimes, even if I know I am capable of doing something good. Now that I have 2 kids, I am going to have to figure out how to balance my career aspirations and what it means to be a present parent, when I return from mat leave.
I’m afraid of being alone and unloved. At my most grounded it doesn’t limit me much. At my worst, it can cause me to pick fight and push the people away from me who I most don’t want to lose.
I am worried that I might still be unhappy even if I achieve my goals. This has caused me to ignore working on these goals, because if some of the things I complain about are gone and I still feel unhappy, then I will have nothing to blame for my unhappiness. Having something to blame is a comfort. I think I need to try to find happiness in ways that are not connected to traditional success. Then I’ll feel ready to work on those goals, because I won’t have to rely on reaching those goals to make me happy.
My fear of failure prevents me from doing things for my career. I want to apply for a new job, but I fear rejection. I may want to start my own company, but I am afraid it won't be successful. I'm afraid I sound like a fraud. Sometimes I think I fear success because it means I will inevitably fail. I have to work on letting go of fear. I'm not scared to do a polar bear plunge! I don't know why career stuff scares me so much. Maybe because most of my trauma is tied to it? I'm a work of progress in this area.
That extreme conservatives are going to take away more rights. I’m definitely going to do my part and vote, but I can’t stop the Supreme Court, which is scary.
The things I fear most embarrass me. I am afraid that I have/will alienate people I wish to have a connection with. And I am afraid I will lose control of my company and career and run out of money when I’m old. Those fears haunt me, and yet I am quite gifted at making connections and money, so I don’t know why I have to live with those fears. Part of enjoying the present this coming year will be letting go of these fears.
I fear not finding true love again. It stopped me from looking forward. I've started getting more involved in social groups to become reattached to the world.
Fear of driving continues to be an obstacle to living my life more fully and being able to participate in more activities/events. For the most part, I’ve stayed local. (Although honestly, I’m not sure how much I even want to expand my horizons at this point.) I have recently started pushing myself more to drive myself to things I might have otherwise found other transportation options for, and I plan to continue to do this until, hopefully, it feels more comfortable and safe.
My fear remains the same- the fear of losing my self sufficiency. To deal with it, I plan as best I can, take the best care of my health that I can, and keep in close and loving touch with my intentional family.
I fear being alone. I fear making a mistake with my marriage by leaving, and equally fear staying and not experiencing more passionate fulfillment in my life. I don't want to look back in a decade or two or three and be regretful.
Last year I answered fear of fascism, and this year things look worse. It is not a fear one can let go of, not rationally. We can only accept it and organize to resist.
Living with cancer means there is the constant fear of dying. My son is 21 and will graduate college in 2024. I NEED to be present for that. I follow protocol and take the drugs, but sometimes those pesky cells just slip through. I don't want to have to undergo chemo again, but I will if I must. Finding out there was a spot on my iliac really knocked the wind out of my sails.
I'm afraid of how honoring my own needs is going to impact my marriage. I signed up to be a rebbetzin when I married my husband. I chafed at the role for the first few years, then settled in, then I was very deeply wounded by a community we moved our family to serve. Now that we have moved again, to serve yet another community (this time on the other side of the country), I am chafing at the role once again. Even though the community is generally wonderful. They are not cuckoo. They are not out to get us. Nevertheless, I can't unlearn what I have learned. I just can't give the way that I used to give. I love my husband but I hate being married to his job. I am afraid of the implications that follow after saying these words out loud.
Beginning to feel like a broken record as this year is so much like the previous, and the one before that, and this question so much like all the others. That said, at this point there's little doubt that I have a fear of failing or my writing project would be in full swing rather than waiting to get my act together. So what to do about it? Stop being afraid? Hardly likely. Be afraid and do it anyway? Yup, that's the plan. Stop the excuses, regardless of how 'good' they are and simply jump in. Oh, crap. I just read last year's response to this question. It in effect says exactly what I just wrote. That does not bode well for my 'just do it' strategy. A more concrete plan may be in order. Looks like I'll need to go back to my original tactic of committing to a minimum of 30 minutes a day to write, including the exact start time. On the calendar. In stone, short of earthquake or plague.
The fear of failure on my new business venture. I don't want to disappoint my boys and family. I'm going to fully dive in once it's going. Failure is not an option.
fear of what the next chapter of my life will be how I will deal with a slowly decaying body and mind, and find new meaning in my life I will overcome by taking on new goals
Happy to see that I successfully addressed the fear I wrote about last year. My fears right now are more diffuse. I think I have a fear about being able to have meaningful work while building a more meaningful personal life. Not sure how to do that. Not sure how to make my personal like more robust. Not sure I can find the right balance in cutting back at work.
I have a fear I can’t make lasting friends and it has made it hard for me to make friends. I plan on having a fresh start after graduating college and not worry about joining pre-existing friend groups.
my fear is of one of my myriad health challenges not being able to beat. The plan is to give thoughts of a negative outcome as little energy and attention as possible
I’m concerned that I will be making mistakes and decisions that I have to make without my husband. It includes small things like balancing my checkbook to large decisions like where I would live. I don’t know how to do these things without him or discuss things without him. Who can I talk to without him?. This petrifies me and I am assessing all the grief that I am still going through
I've never been a particularly fearful person, but as I've gotten older, I feel it more. I feel anxieties, that I didn't use to. Physical dangers, new expectations, performance, etc. But for the most part they do not interfere with my actions. I would say I move through them rather than overcome them.
I'm letting go of the fear of attention. We've had a long history of getting reactions more on the negative side of our emotional system, and now that we're not being affected by that as much, it's becoming easier to notice the people who react with joy at my attention grabbing self.
I have a fear of trusting myself and others. I am leaning into my fears as best I can, acknowledging them, discovering their origins, confronting them, and working through them. I seek freedom and joy in my body and mind as well as among others. Trust in relationships. Trust I am worthy of intimacy and intimate relationships. Trust myself in creative endeavors I seek to participate in and complete. Trust myself in new job creation. Trust myself! So the more I confront my lack of self trust, the more I will be able to trust others. At least that's the current thought. ;)
Fear of poverty continues to be my boogey man. I have come to the conclusion that I will never get over it because I have been poor, and know I, like most middle class people, am only a catastrophe away from poverty. This has more to do with the way our American society is structured than anything else. So I have decided not to fight the fear, but to walk with it. Much the same way we learn to walk with grief. It doesn't go away, but it doesn't consume us either. And that is how I have decided to deal with this fear. Just not at it and keep moving in defiant joy.
Fear of illness and/or disability which would limit my ability to engage in the activities I want to do. This issue has become more central in recent years as my body joints, etc., become more problematic. There are already many things I once enjoyed which I have accepted I will not be able to do again. It is most unpleasant!
I think I might be afraid of success! I try not to think about the fears too much but I feel some flutters of anxiety when I am thinking about growing my business and achieving the success that I know is out there waiting for me. I’m really going to try hard to keep my forward momentum around business !
Fear of long suffering. I plan to live in the present. Make good choices. Be of service to my community. Enjoy what is.
I have a fear of beginning. Of just even starting things, projects that give me anxiety. I fear the feelings of fear and beginning. Maybe just keep trying? Make lists, chunk work, find ways to have more enjoyable activities as a reward for doing the extremely difficult things? Like calling my cousin. Filling out tax documents. Eating healthy food. Ask my therapist for support, encouragement and ideas.
My fear is that I’m going to fail. It’s held me back from looking into new challenges or even going outside my comfort zone. I’m working with a career coach right now to help find my confidence and inner mentor!
I am really uncomfortable with being wrong, or being perceived as being ignorant/stupid/ill-informed. It holds me back from confidently expressing my opinion, and it for sure is connected to identifying and being socialized female. How do you let go of something that other people hold against you? I can't let go of those limitations, they're externally imposed.
Fear of becoming patronized by associates as I approach 60 - I encourage an honest dialogue from coworkers and friends about things, and I stress that I prefer honesty over deference
I join with my weekly Bible Study group to explore the mystery and fear of what's next. Many of us are in 4th quarter. I will be asked to lay down all earthly things in some upcoming year. I am now devoting a little daily time to study and examination of faith. I feel like I am prepping for a final exam. This was heightened just a week ago by the loss of an in-law. That is just too close.
Loneliness. Abandonment. Death of my beloved. Tragedy for my son. Coming to terms with darkness begin stronger than light sometimes. Dismissing it. Pushing it away. Invoking God and God's presence and comfort. Working to be in community with others.
I don't have a fear of heights; i have a fear of falling from a height. 100th floor? No problem. Balancing on one foot 4" off the ground? Terrifying. I have no plans to let this fear go. It keeps me safe. I'm getting older and falling will hurt me quite a bit. I'd rather have the fear and use the handrails on the stairs.
Fear of sucking. Have no plan.
I fear that I've failed at the thing that matters most -- being a parent. Others I know see the successes I've had -- so I plan on trying to lean into those strengths that we're seeing as our children become adults, and not dwell on what went wrong.
Is it fear or worry - how I feel about the direction into which our country seems to be moving? Our schools are falling apart. Our nation is encountering climate change and pretending it isn't. How do I live with a president who is a crook and a traitor if Trump runs again and wins? How do I live with right wing power that is antisemitic (and anti a lot of other things too?) How do I live with gerry-mandering and folks in power who lie? Somehow I doubt that ignoring things will help my fear/worries. I guess I am not answering this question. But, then, I did not really answer it last year either.
There's an implication in these questions that fear is internal. The reality is that I am terrified all the time and with good reason: we face a number of real global and national problems that SHOULD inspire fear. And that fear should then inspire action, not hiding under the bed--or running away. Those real fears include climate change and rising fascism/authoritarianism. I aspire to be the person who runs toward the shooter or into the burning building to save others. I hope to be someone who acts and inspires others to act. But that is not new. It is simply more pressing than ever.
No big fears. The new job can be, at times, overwhelming, but it's a matter of getting the work done. Perhaps it is "dropping out" too much from family, friends, and community and not spending enough time with them. It hasn't limited me, just made me feel guilty. The solution is a re-allocation of time. Whether that is possible to the extent that it makes a difference will be something to figure out.
I have a fear of disappoint those I love. It limits me in my ability to move forward and punishes me more when I feel that I have failed. In the new year I will work to put more value on my own thoughts and opinions of myself.
I fear that I won't be able to remain sober. I know the right thing to do, + how to do it. But I also know how tricky an SOB addiction is.
Like the past few years - I am still working to overcome my fear of Covid. It is a slow process. I am still wearing masks in closed spaces and shopping. I try to eat in outdoor restaurants. Covid and Covid protocols haunt me. I obsessively watch the charts on what my community level is. I am not necessarily afraid of getting Covid. And even my family in Mexico are vaxxed to the max. Maybe I am trying to be one of the few who will be able to say, "I never got Covid." Is it really a badge of honor?
One of my fears is living inauthentically. That for many years, I have “passed” for being something I am not. The classic imposter syndrome. So far, I have walked away from my successful career, which is a first step toward living more as the person I feel I am. What lies ahead is unclear at this point.
I have the worst anxiety about talking to new people and being seen in a favorable light. It's the stage conditioning my mother beat into me. I often feel blinded by lights and unable to see through the glare, unable to see my loved ones' pleas for my rest and recuperation. I still dance despite bloody shoes, I still perform for others as if I must earn their buyable love, as if I am a purchasable item for entertainment myself. I need to abandon these fears of abandonment and insecurity. I'm a fully fledged adult, I'm nearly 30. But I cling to these fears as if that's all I have when that's out of the question. I have a husband, loved ones, people I adore and friends I'd fight the world for. There's no reason to stare into the lights until I have tears streaming down my face, the show is over. I can rest. I can love without fear. I can befriend without terror. I am free.
Fear of failure. I have been holding myself back because I might fail... But what if I succeed? I get to fail, nothing wrong with failing. You fail, you get up, you learn something, you try again. So, the coming year I am just going to put myself out there and try. Try. Try. Try. Share my voice, share my words. Email those literary agents, publicists, potential clients... And try. If you don't ask, the answer is always no.
I have no fear, even though I am going through cancer and just shavedy head, I am ok. I am stronger than ever.
I back down to conflict. As a lawyer I should not always take the easy way out. I’m in a fight with Del Mesa. I’m moving. But I’m standing up for myself as I go and fighting back. It’s hard but but I need to keep it up.
My fear is that I won't find love. This fear causes me to feel less than. I believe the only way to let go of that fear is to love myself, as I am, right now, for today and everyday.
My fear is that my kids might stop loving me or change their behavior towards me that will result in feeling less loved. I am planning to think less about it because it’s all in my mind.
I fear for my siblings. I fear for Carol. I know she doesn't want help from me, but I do want to know what's going on. Why do I feel that need? Maybe she'll change and accept help? She does listen to suggestions sometimes, even when they're obvious to me. And I fear for Paul. I don't know that he'll ever ask me for help. I wonder how long he'll lie dead in the house without anyone knowing.
I have a fear of 'going crazy' or having too high needs for 'normal life.' This has sometimes made me skip my basics for what gives me a steady life because I am ashamed I need them - and then it fulfills this idea that I can't handle life when I have trouble! I plan to double down on my basics and find other areas of life that need to be flexible vs. my routines for wellness.
I have always been afraid of change and having to learn new things. Especially things that I’m not comfortable with or I don’t particularly like. At work I do not like doing metrics but because it changes I’ve had to do this as part of my job. I plan on overcoming this by reflecting back at all the difficult things I’ve had to learn in the past I was able to master. I am far too young to be this inflexible. I need to keep open mind and have more confidence in my ability to adapt and learn.
I admit that there are a number of things I am afraid of. At this point, I suppose the best thing I can do is to take it one day at a time and do the best I can do. I know that there are some days that I will feel braver than others.
A fear I have is that I will never be successful, always struggling to get by or even if I do succeed that I will never be enough in my own eyes or the eyes of others. A lot of this comes from the stigma of having dropped out of university, and feeling as if my family will never accept me or view me as successful without a degree. I started overcoming this fear in therapy, building up my self-confidence and observing my achievements in my job. But the “imposter syndrome” feelings in me sometimes told me that this was a fluke - that I was just lucky to be hired, and I was just lucky in the successes I had there. This limited me and kept me in this job for longer than I should have stayed, even when it became toxic, because I lacked the confidence to believe that anyone else could want me, or that I could succeed elsewhere. When finally deciding to leave this job, and beginning my search for a new job and interviewing, I was extremely nervous that I would be seen as “less than” without a degree - but I got the new job! I am about to start soon, right after Sukkot. I hope to succeed and rise to the top like I did in my last job, to prove to my family that I can independently support myself and make a good living with or without a degree, and to prove to myself that I am not just lucky - I am smart, talented, hard-working, and successful. I hope through my new job to be able to let go of those feelings of inadequacy and fear of not being enough - succeeding once could be a fluke but twice is a pattern, and I hope to recognize it when I see it. I hope that in overcoming these issues, the next time I am contemplating a job change I can do so without fear and with the confidence that I am skilled and successful. I also hope to gain the confidence to embark on my own pursuits to support myself, not to just be an employee of someone else but to start my own ventures based on my passions. Lack of confidence has held me back in these areas until now, but I hope to be able to believe in myself enough to take the first steps.
I have always assumed I don't really belong in any preexisting group, and since I believe that, it inevitably comes true. The only way to overcome it is to stop believing it -- so that's what I'll have to do.
My fear: I fear men, specifically ’white’ men, although some other men scare me, too. I do not have a history of good experiences with most men. I’ve been talked over, ignored, my ideas have been appropriated in work settings, assaulted, and don’t even get me started on gaslighting! I do realize that there are some ‘good guys’ out there. And it’s possible the ‘other’ guys are as full of fear as maybe I am, that they fill themselves up with bravado to cover over their fear. Thing is, why don’t the ‘good guys’ get way more vocal and call out the others? This dominator pattern is old and quite annoying, not to mention destructive. So, I’m not planning on letting this go, nor do I feel I, on my own, will overcome this. Just as with racism, ‘white’ people need to do the repairs, and with toxic masculinity, men need to do the repairs. WAKE THE HECK UP GUYS!!! In the meantime, I’ll keep my heart safely hidden and use my superpowers to be a beacon of love and light for all who suffer the pain inflicted upon them by masculine unconsciousness.
I have a fear of abandonment and rejection. My regular way to cope to is to wave before I get left. To reject before I get rejected. It’s limited me in finding compromise and deepening my relationships. I plan on catching that about myself and instead of running away, I want to embrace the discomfort and work through it.
I'm afraid that I will never marry or find a partner again; that I will be alone forever. It has limited me by prompting me to make decisions like foster parenting (to try to fill the void with purpose) and overwork and overvolunteering, as well as sneaking into my relationships with people and ruining them. But I just decided a few days ago to embrace "What if this is how it will be?" and take to heart Catherine Andrews' advice to consider, "What are 5-10 ways this situation that I consider so negative might actually be good for me and my life?" What if I am the single woman for the rest of my life? What would that look like? Who can I let myself be, if that is in fact my future? Somehow, that's a lot more interesting and exciting.
I am afraid of losing my income. This comes from internalized classism, growing up without much money (though always enough!), and my own feelings of competitiveness and basing my worth on others’ judgment. I also recall living paycheck to paycheck in my 20s and do have a fear of returning to that. This year I commit to working mindfully, forgivingly and persistently to address these root issues (classism, perfectionism/worthiness) and to continuing to build my financial foundation so the practical side of this fear is addressed.
Fear of success. I don’t know.
Not so much a fear, but a conflict I have is stand up comedy. I did it for the first time, got an amazing response, and love it! BUT I don't want to do it all the time. I need to find the right balance with the rest of my life. Still it comes to me in my dreams, not whether I should do it, but actual content. That's a clear sign I need to keep at it.
My greatest fear is getting dementia, which I can do nothing about if it happens, so I try not to think about it. A more mundane fear is for the state of our country and for that I do the little bit I can, with volunteering and donations.
As long as I have the courage to change the things I can, I can let serenity tackle my fears.
Still… I have adapted my life to multi-tasking to a fault. I break down tasks and start too many. Interesting just thinking about it and writing it down
My fear of going out in public on my own. I get massive anxiety still about it and need someone to accompany me anywhere that I go. I’m hoping that with the help of my husband and mum that by the time I give birth I will feel more confident to leave the house and take my baby out to socialise
For the last two years I wrote about big picture geo-political fears. Today I will write about myself. I am aging - which is, I know, better than the alternative! Different bits of me each have their own doctor; I am not as agile as I imagine myself to be; nouns are sometimes a struggle. I have finally reached an age which I am willing to admit is old (ish?) Yet I hope to have at least 10 and maybe 20 more years - to die at the age my father did or at my mother's age. So I will continue to be as active as I can both physically and mentally and conserve whatever agility I can.
My only real fear is of spiders. No interest in overcoming it either.
The fear of staying with Kat in a hoarders home. It has stressed me to no end and makes me so unhappy. I feel trapped as i don't believe i could survive on my own. I am trying to pay her friends to work with her and I also hope that i can be 100% healthy and give her an ultimatum to clean up or leave. I love her but I cannot live like this and be truly happy
I have a fear of intimacy. It has kept me from having a close emotional and physical relationship with my wife. I am looking into doing a program with my wife to talk about these things, as well as looking into counseling/therapy.
My main fear is about my health and my family & partner‘s health. I am afraid we might get seriously sick or even die. I think this fear has caused me to actually feel physically unwell in the last months. I plan to focus more on my health and also value the time I have with my loved ones and the experiences I get to make in the time I have more.
I have so much fear around ending up without a partner in my life. It has pushed me to stay in relationships when I should not have, or ignore red flags about partners early on. This has caused more harm than anything. I'd like to let go of the fear of loneliness, and I think the best way to do that is to get along with myself and also invest deeply in non-romantic relationships.
I have a fear of growing old and being in pain all the time. Or incapable of living independently. I turned 52 years old this year, and I am healthy, and I HATE the changes that aging has already wrought with my body. I have more fear of growing old than I have of dying. This fear has limited my ability to think of the future with any pleasure or any hope. I tell my friends and family that I hope that I die by the age of 65, like my dad did. But my dad is an anomaly in my family, in which relatives routinely live into their late 90s and even into their 100s. Living into my 80s, 90s, or 100s, sounds terrible to me. And I realize how ungrateful that sounds, especially to people who lose their loved ones way too early. I don't know how to let this fear go. I've had it for a while now, and it seems to deepen as the years go by and I continue to age (as one does). I'm good at compartmentalizing, so I often put the fear into one of my mental boxes, close the lid, and ignore it for as long as I can.
Making mistakes. This is ongoing. This calendar year, I have begun to speak to myself, out loud, “you didn’t make a mistake” and “what happened was not your fault” and “what happened was your fault and you can learn from this.”
i have a perfectionism born of both trauma and neurodivergence. i hate getting things wrong, or saying the wrong thing, or hurting people by accident. but i'm human. not everything i do or say will be perfect, because *i'm* not perfect. but nobody else is, either, and i have to remember that. this is probably (read: absolutely) more of a lifelong resolution, but i still want to work on it.
I have a weird (VERY) fear of my children rejecting me, not loving me, not liking me. I'm sure someone could figure out where this comes from. But I continue to work on it....this bizarre but real insecurity. We all have a wonderful relationship. Perhaps that's it? That we are all more like sisters or best friends and that leaves me feeling more vulnerable? Ugh. Anyway...through meditation and self-talk and affirmation and other woo-woo stuff, I will continue to try to conquer this fear.
I have a huge fear of failing in my onstage performances. This is what holds me back from pouring every last drop of myself into the moment -- I'm trying to be correct. When I get out there on that stage (12 days from now) I encourage myself to release the idea of correct and live into the truth of Victoria, her innocence, her romanticism, her un-self-consciousness, her sexuality, her power, her goodness, her essence. I encourage myself to let her live and not to compare. I encourage myself not to step back, but to step forward and be totally seen. I encourage myself to be as naked and true as every hair on my body. I encourage myself to release shame and to enjoy all the many deeply, viscerally enjoyable parts of doing the show. I encourage myself to release care about what might be good or not good, and embrace the reality of simply being, and how simply being is enough because it is all that there is, it is the best. I encourage myself to give that to myself as a gift, and to understand, while I'm giving it, that the gift is not for me, my enjoyment of it is collateral, that the gift is for the world, for whoever sees it and is unlocked by it, is no longer afraid because they saw it and the truth of it revealed to them how free they are as well. Let me be an invitation to all the eyes that fall upon me, an invitation to feel as great as I feel, to shake off the shackles of fear with me, and to step forward into the light hand in hand, arm in arm, body embracing body, bright eyes, full hearts.
I am afraid I’ll lose my transportation privileges because of the below the knee amputation on my right leg. I am going to check other alternatives, such as modifications to my car. I will also check public transportation options.
The worst has happened - my sweet husband has passed. Funny how that changes my perspective on everything else. I still worry about my country, but the only way through is through. God's will be done.
See Q? on getting over being a people pleaser. I'm proud of having gone to college nurse for support, if and when it gets bad again, do more of that 吧. Similarly, I think I'm still too scared of being who I am. Maybe that's because I'm still not sure who that is tbf. Why don't I know that? I hope this year I move towards trying to work out how to find that out. It's certainly not as simple as just do whatever you think you want in a given moment, but I'm not sure that's not a part of it. Don't spend too much time mitigating that you forget to actually do anything (but also please don't be the arse that just talks over everyone loudly at a Jsoc no-longer [tbf never] yours to own).
One fear that I have is the fear of people not liking me. I feel like I get stuck putting people on pedestals and caring too much about whether they like me or if I am doing enough for them that I put myself to the side for them. It's something I've been working on for a while, but I want to commit to it in this new year in a new city. I think it will be easier to do post-grad as well because I don't have that intense pressure to be always hanging out with my friends or to be lonely in my room. I plan to get more comfortable doing things on my own, like taking myself on dates or going to restaurants or movies by myself. I also plan to let go of the people who are not healthy for me to be spending time with and not putting in as much effort with them as I previously had.
Same as last year: my world keeps getting smaller, because I don't have the interest or energy to go out and meet the world. I need to find more opportunities to say yes to.
I dont have any fears
Health, Health, Health... On going concern to stay healthy despite these symptoms I push through on a daily basis. I did a couple outings in outdoor group settings. always conscious of social distancing. My bloodwork results caution me that I may be unable to over come any virus or sickness so I do limit myself in enjoying the arts and adventures until I am able to have confidence in my health
A fear I had was of no friends. But I think that stemmed from my depression. Since I started on an antidepressant, it doesn't matter to me as much any more. People either like me, or they don't. And most don't. But now I'm ok with that. Because I don't need to impress anyone. I'm different. And I know this. Accept me or don't. It's ok.
A fear of leaving my job. It has limited my opportunities for advancement and possibly started limiting my options inside the company. I intend to get deliberate about the choices I make, looking at new opportunities, and not being afraid to make a little (or a lot) less money.
I think one of the fears I have is not being able to handle medical school once given the opportunity. I’ve wanted this for sooo long and am getting closer to it. And I really don’t want to fumble the opportunity, however I know I’ll reach out for help , be as cognizant of my state of being at each phase. So it hasn’t limited me because I am aware and am always reflecting
Same answer as last year: I fear white nationalism and right-wing fanaticism. I fear the mounting climate disasters. My response? Volunteering and donating money to the causes about which I care desperately.
I am afraid the Republican party is inciting violence and is a threat to democracy, using gerrymandering, voting restrictions, and legislation allowing state legislatures to overturn election results they don't like. I'm not planning to let go of this fear unless and until the Republican party changes its behavior. I am once again writing hundreds of "get out the vote" letters in an attempt to make sure more Democrats are elected.
I am scared of looking silly or stupid. I need to draw my inner focus towards myself and care about my needs more than other people's judgment.
I'm letting go of the fear of disappointing the people around me. I'm starting to really believe that my friends and family will love me more if I act authentically, even if I disappoint them in small ways on some occasions.
Scarcity. Its pretty broad, but I don't want my family to 'want' for anything. It hold me back form doing things (like work or travel) which are enjoyable but not 'lucrative.'
I'm afraid of not knowing things in front of others, especially things that I feel like I should know already. This gets in the way in bigger ways, like by playing it safe with career choices, but also in smaller ways, like struggling to learn new board games or accept help on home projects. I want to challenge myself to learn more this year, take a class of some kind. I don't know what, but something that scares me a little.
Every day is terrifying and full of dread, but it doesn't matter. Fears limit children. They should not limit adults. Life is short and everything is expensive, and not many people have the luxury of slowing down or stalling just because it's scary. If you think "fear" deserves to be a limiting factor, wait until you have a chronic health condition that legitimately hampers your ability to get through the day. You'll be longing for those days when all you had to worry about was that you were scared of something or other.
My fear is telling the truth, exposing all those who have behaved badly in our community. I regret not speaking up years ago and fighting for what is right. I was afraid to lose my job, become an outcast and share the ugly truth that would tell the world that our community that we are flawed. Men behave badly and we've done nothing. The statistics regarding gender equity and salary equity are still exactly the same as 25 years ago. I spoke up when I first came into the field and continued to share internally when I saw abuses. And still I didn't do enough. I'm letting go of the regret, understanding the fearful position I was in needing to provide for my family. I'm still going to fight for the safety our professionals in our community and work to change the toxicity in our current organizations by educating the next generation of professionals as well as lay people.
To share publicly in a group setting where I am in a teaching role. I have come to the age where it’s time to give back and there is so much more I could be giving. This year I want to offer over zoom spiritual teachings and pregnancy classes for pain relief and happier pregnancy and postpartum periods.
I’m afraid of not being a good mom. I think I will naturally let go of this fear as I get more used to being one, and of course once my baby is home with me. At least I hope that I will.
That my daughter will commit suicide. It's kept me from working, from traveling, from sleeping, from eating, from maintaining relationships... It has been emotionally and psychologically paralytic for far too long. I will continue to work (through Buddhism and different cognitive therapies) to be in the present moment of reality, and try to stop projecting fear, helplessness and anxiety into my thoughts.
I fear becoming everything I want to be. I'm doing all the things which scare me.
I find aging affecting me - more fatigue & some health issues - wanting to stay home more and travel & participate in activities outside my home less - I intend to push myself to keep living the fullest life I can
I always fear gaining weight. I feel like people in general "should" give fewer shits as they get older about everything, but somehow I'm at a place in my life - granted I'm only 45 - where I feel more discomfort with going outside my comfort zone. I think it's due to having literally "been there done that" with soo many things (including all the weight stuff) that I'm like- ok cross that off the list, did that, tried that, I know who I am way better now and chill inside where I'm comfortable (literally and figuratively). I'm honestly not sure I'll be letting this fear (more like unwillingness) go, but I'd rather just stay open to organic changes than force anything. Staying with my focus on primary foods is always key.
I worry about running out of money before I die. I think we have planned well for retirement but both my parents ended up without resources and this is an ongoing fear. Creating a budget and seeing how well we can live within it over the coming year should help clarify our financial condition
Fear is a funny thing as it can come and go even when I am thinking of the same issue. I am not fearless. That is a fools desire. Fear is like a comma in a sentence, giving me a moment to examine the situation. It is only a road block when I stop thinking about what it is I fear and seeking solutions, that fear gains excess power over my life.
I’ve worked heavily on anxieties in the past year, especially fear of doing things wrong, or messing up; balancing risk (including CoVID) against joy and doing the things I want to do. I’m committed to not letting fear of outcomes hold me back from trying when I decide the risk is worth the possible reward, and practicing exposure to the things that are reasonable to push back against.
I still have a fear about the climate crisis but trying to remain hopeful by taking action in small ways to highlight this. Talking to others about it has helped. I went to my first Climate Cafe in August which focuses on expressing your thoughts and feelings about the climate rather than on action and solutions.
I was traumatized as a kid and fear my own feelings. I can't trust them enough to enjoy life. I hope to change this.
Ha! So much fear. I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder and it has held me back my whole life. I'm a lot better than I used to be. Having CBT helped. I'll just keep plodding on, improving slowly every day (I hope).
In reflection of last year’s response and my actions over the past year, I think I have actually made some improvement on this. I think I am continually strengthening my faith, my trust in HaShem. Whenever I worry and doubt, I then try to speak to HaShem and remind myself that we do what we can do and move from there, wherever “there” happens to be. I am fearful of not being strong enough for my family or myself. That eats at me…not being enough. So I am trying to learn new ways to build my fortitude by accepting that I am human. I lean on HaShem. I do what I can do and move from there…growing, becoming what I need to be.
That I won't get back to my physical condition from before my heart issues. I need to keep pushing myself to do cardio and weight lifting!
That I will have an underwhelming career. Securing my green card and starting an EdD are my paths forward with this.
I am afraid of being rejected by other people. It makes it hard for me to seek new relationships. I plan on working on it this year by forcing myself to put myself out there despite the fear.
Failure
Socialising after covid, I didn't much before but now hardly at all. By getting out more, facing the fear
I'm afraid that I'm not a good enough writer, and I'm afraid that I can't be both a good writer and a good mom, that my brain will always be too divided. It's limited me in that I've been afraid to start writing another novel manuscript, afraid I can't do it anymore, that I don't have it in me. I'm still going to finish my current writing contract, but I also want to start a new novel this year. If I start writing, the inspiration will come.
That I'm messing things up for my daughter. I will remember that I'm doing well raising her alone and caring for all of her needs. I'll remember that her medical diagnoses and learning disabilities mean we both need to slow down and go at a pace that works best for her.
I think there is probably always some lingering fear of not being a good enough parent. That is easing, however, as I see things shifting with the kids and my practice. There is no doubt some fear or trepidation about stepping fully into my powers, not just because the ocean of nonordinary consciousness is weird, but also because it continues to make me "too much" for some people, and especially "too much" for David, which makes me sad. I have to continue working on letting go of the idea that i can fit perfectly into some acceptable box. Another fear is of success -- because if i get more successful then what are people's expectations of me going to be? how will they change? will i be more disappointing? on the other hand, wouldn't it be nice to be able to afford to upgrade my electric system without worrying about the cost?
Question 9 already? I know I have to get a physical and there is a sense of fear in the fact that getting older, the body is not as strong as it once was and in spite of all my efforts at eating healthy and trying to exercise, I still can't get my body under 140! After seeing my very active parents deteriorate so fast... ok, they WERE in their 80's, and I'm not quite 70, but still there are days when I feel really OLD (especially since I'm the oldest person at work other than the owner!) Have to stop watching FOX... all the commercials are for medications "ask your doctor about" with all the things that happen to us "baby boomers" can't even pronounce some of those diseases. The only way to "overcome" is to "bite the bullet", get a check-up and do whatever needs to be done, eyes included, but not until AFTER Yom Kippur!
I have fear period. Currently as I plan a move to another state, my first overwhelming fear is that I won't have everything packed and ready to go on the day of the move. Then I have the fear of getting there safely. Just a fear of all things going as per plan. In general, I have anxiety when I have to accomplish something on time. I have no clue on how to overcome it. Other than execute this move, review the outcome after the move and finally compare it with my fear. BTW, in organizing this move I released my fear of money. The move is costing me a bit and I made up my mind to do it in spite of all the cost and the hurdles that was and continues to be thrown my way.
Fear of not being enough. Enough good, enough qualified, enough skilled, enough a good mother or wife or friend. I will try to let it go by trying to accept me more. But it's hard.
I think my only fear is that I will die without ever being loved (romantically, full relationship)-I still don't know how to reconcile this so I will be working on, as in the previous question, yoga to help balance me emotionally. It has limited me in the sense of that it hurts my heart.
The fear of insignificance. I am hoping I can right size myself into my true self.
I am afraid of threats to my way of life. I realize now more than ever that I cannot control things outside of myself. So I will try to keep going and enjoy every moment I can and live in the present.
Fear that I will never have a strong group of friends. Fear of losing people I love. Fear that I will be single my whole life. Fear that I'm not a good enough actor to "make it" and that at some point I will have to quit or I won't live up to my new dreams.
I'm over 50 and I don't know how to fucking deal with it. Time was unlimited. Like, dreaming about future possibilities in my life has been such a release valve. "Maybe I'll change careers and go into finance. Or get that Engineering degree. Or become a Science Fiction writer. Or throw parties!" Practical or not, these thoughts let me think about things in a particular way. It helped me understand myself. My inner therapist might say "Science Fiction writer. Oh, interesting. What is missing in your life that being a SF writer would add?" and then I'd go about thinking about how to add more "SF writer" into my life. Now, it feels like I have 20 years max. Time is limited.
I have a fear of immobility. I plan to do more physical therapy and yoga practice online. I also have a fear of society collapsing and am going to spend more time supporting others who are going through grief.
