How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?
Recently, a friend taught me to focus on what you did accomplish instead of what you didn't. So, if you meant to do 5 tasks in a day, but did 2, you say wow look at you go, you did those 2 tasks. 2 is more than 0. And that is significant. It's about the reframing. It's easy to get stuck in the negative and become self-deprecating. So even though I need a little bit of the fire under my butt to urge my productivity, the reframing is sometimes helpful, especially when you can't change the past.
I want to be more adult. More income. My own place. Get closer to Chipmunk. Learn a full pole dance routine. I have always been told the advice: Take care of yourelf. When I meet Chipmunk, I was so happy and ready for the future. But sadly I let people put me down. Then I found when I decided to do things for me I would feel better. Same thing happened this year (June 2022) when I found pole dance I woke up of the scared part of me that didn't want to take chances. I'm looking the part of me that takes chances and I want to see wear it leads.
My fear of getting long Covid has caused me to limit social interactions (and really outings in general). I'm not upset with this choice, but I am sad that I'm not taking advantage of as many opportunities as people my age, especially those living independently in the city. I think there can be a balance between doing fun things with people and staying covid safe. I want to find this balance in the new year. After discussing my stress related to an upcoming social event and all the reasons I was worrying about it with my therapist, she shared with me the concept of a "wise" mind, which balances the emotional mind and the reasonable mind. Now, when I feel my emotional mind entering the "doom" mindset where I go to an event and get covid, I think of my reasonable mind which tells me that I'm greatly reducing my risk by taking precautions like masking and testing. Then, I am more confident about my decision because I am using my wise mind.
Okay, I think I've gotten more positive since last year!!!!! That's a good thing! So, what for this next year..... Oooh so my coach Jacqueline said, "You can either enjoy being the person who enjoys doing it, or the person who enjoys having it done." What that phrase doesn't include is "the person who isn't doing it and is stressed about how they haven't gotten it done but also isn't doing anything about it".............. Yikes, what if not that. I would love to be a person who uses their time intentionally, who chooses to work when it's time to work, who chooses to play when it's time to play. And who chooses to zone out when it's time to zone out. But to get intentional with that, so that I don't feel like I've spent time doing nothing. Just, some clarity, some more focus time. There's a lot I want to squeeze in, and I think I can even squeeze it in fairly spaciously -- but I need to bring that in consciously, or it won't happen at all. And also, I say squeeze in but I mean that spaciously and with rest. Wow, I've changed! That's good.
Small changes every day lead to big improvement. When K was leaving for vacation, I said-have a joyful time. She said, I always do. I'm always joyful--hmmm. Lee Daniels on Finding your Roots upon hearing about his ancestors' lives under slavery---I'm never going to complain again. hmmm Both are significant outlooks to ponder.
Have fun and play. Same response: play more.
I want to have a routine by this time next year, a scaffolding from which I can carefully build everything more challenging and complex, everything that today I fail to do when my life is so daily disordered. My friend says all it takes is building one new habit once at a time.
Spend more time with people and less time in your pj’s.
I saw in other year's answers that I wanted to be more patient with my husband. That holds true. I don't do a great job listening to him when he's got things to say about topics i'm not interested in. Self, do better at that! Starting now.
I keep telling people my motto is "Don't take the bait" and then I keep on taking it. At least I understand that I am complicit in my own misery when I take it.
I failed spectacularly at this last year, when I told myself to "Do Less" and then proceeded to start two businesses and completely revamp the kids' homeschooling. Let's try again: Go Big or Go Bigger! And: Everything is better when you make it more colorful.
I would like to be more mindful of everything, more open to whatever is before me. I would like to be less judgemental. I would like to read more. I would like to learn Hebrew and prayers. I would like to lose weight. I would like to find the job I will have for the rest of my working life. In my own time, let go, be gentle, it's alright not to be alright at this moment....
So many things: last year i wanted to work on these things and i did: Will POA & MPO for v Neon Class Pay-down Student loans Get a dual-sport Investigate ADHD diagnosis ..I've about to be diagnosed, but i have a lot more work to manage it. i wanted to work on these thing and i haven't. Still need to Citizenship Consolidate 401ks Get back in therapy. Improve my weight / Cardio / Endurance WOFFER and i want. to make more art and work on being more present in the moment
To keep doing what I have been doing in the past few months: - keep a daily journal - draw every day - set up greeting cards for sale - set up prints for sale
Travel again. Be honest with myself.
I want to be more present and not get caught up in the small details to lose sight of the greater goal, whether professionally or personally. As the great Candance Parker said in an ESPN interview after winning the WNBA title, “We think about that last-second shot, but every possession is equally important. And I think it's had me become less results-driven, and just focus on doing what you're supposed to do. You could literally do everything you're supposed to do and not reach your goal. But are you going to stop working?"
I want to improve myself by giving myself a more consistent and fulfilling social calendar. I want to enroll in some kind of class for after work so that I have places to be and people to meet. I'd also live to develop more skills, maybe something for my muscle memory.
Did I get more fit last year? Not really. I also found out that my L5 has a history of fracture so my weightlifting career is over. Since I don’t really lift weights, this is not so bad. I still want to get a bench set for bench press because it seems like the old man thing to do, you know, just get super big a diesel. We’ll see what happens.
I would like to take on less. I am overscheduled and overstressed; my therapist told me I need to leave more ‘money in the bank’ in terms of time and energy, just as I would with actual money. I’m too often stretched to my breaking point, which means I can’t handle the stresses of parenting and life with any kind of grace.
Say no to more things. Focus on what I need to be doing. Spend more time at home. Trust the process. Listen to my instincts.
Just trying to keep my body as healthy as possible, as Tricia will be retiring next year and we will be busy.
Several people close to me advised me to exhaust myself less, to not invest myself so fully in my work and to try to do and struggle less and feel as though that is enough. Once again my perfectionism and the fear that someone could say about me that I don’t work hard enough has led me to overextend myself. When I had time off I was mostly ill or had migraines. Because I was not confident and calm and aware enough to realise that it does not matter what people might think about me and that what I do is already a lot and definitely enough. A few people close to me also said that it was a question of not drawing boundaries well and they are right. So these are the two things I want to remember all the time next year (because I constantly forget and continue making the same mistakes): - Do less, you’re already doing enough, you’re enough. - Say no, calmly and friendly, when you feel uncomfortable, when you’re unsure whether and how it’s possible, when it doesn’t suit you.
Same as last year: So many ways to improve. I’d like to release my self judgment, feel comfortable saying & doing what is natural for me, know & trust what is natural for me(!), & continue to appreciate life & take challenges as growth opportunities.
Beyond #6, or alongside, I want to improve my Wealth -- have a financial plan for my/Christy's life, have documents in place; have and be working a Strategic Growth Plan for CMMT to take it to a $1,000,000 company. Keep it simple; remember to keep your eyes on the road in front of you, pull yourself to the finish line.
Less! Of! That! Gottdang! Phone!
For the year ahead, I would like to have more faith, which is a repeat from last year. Faith that I am enough. Faith that I make good decisions. Faith I am deserving. Faith I am lovable. Faith.
"You are imperfect. You are wired for struggle. AND You are worthy of love and belonging." Keep on keeping on being "Awkward Brave & Kind" Brene Brown Do not fear death Do not fear failure Fear regret Choose love over fear Choose authenticity over perfection What story am I telling myself? Change the meaning of the story. Soul first!
Peace. Mindfulness. Not juat for me. But to help my son and maybe in turn my husband deal with anger deal with emotions. I want to be stress free anxiety free. And honestly, not having my in laws so much in my life would help with that.
Get a better job or get one of the businesses actually supporting me. I can’t stand stand this anymore. I feel suicidal a lot of days and see no reason to stay alive. I am 55 years old and have nothing to look forward to. May as we’ll be dead now.
Mentally, Physically, and Spiritually. I want to be happier as a person and be confident in my decisions in order to achieve it. Whether it means offending certain people or involving cutting people out of my life. "Always look out for number one, Yourself"
I need to stop trying to control my wife and children and allow them to have their own approach to things. I also hope to continue pursuing things that relieve my own stress.
I do wanna focus on health this coming year. And I am turning 55 next year I’m not feels somehow monumental. Need to continue to work on this marriage.
As I mentioned in my answer to Q6, I desperately want to be in accessible housing within the next year. Which relates to a lot of my goals for improving my life in this next year. I want a more accessible life. I hope to get closer to my goal of actually having enough care as a bedbound person. Getting access to paid carers, not just our moms who are overworked and have other full-time jobs. Accessing good and helpful medical care, as opposed to almost none at all due to medical neglect, the resultant trauma, and lack of capacity due to not enough care. Broadening my understanding of need to include things people have shamed me as being excessive, but that really aren't. I wouldn't tell other people their access needs weren't real and important, and I want to continue working at believing that my access needs are equally important to anyone else's. It's really hard when my access needs have been so repeatedly denied, dismissed, and shamed. But I'm working on holding my knowledge that my needs are reasonable, necessary, and worthy of being met. Working at believing myself, even if so-called "care" practitioners don't believe me. And I've noticed myself Believing myself more. Feeling anger at the medical neglect I've experienced and at society's dismissal and devaluing of disabled lives, rather than only shame and gaslighting myself and thinking the world would be better if I just died already. So I want to hold onto the disabled community's insistence that disabled needs are not unreasonable or superfluous. That we are worthy of respect and love and care. That our needs and lives Matter and bring goodness into the world. Because fuck ableism and fuck eugenics. My life and the lives of disabled people as a whole are pretty damn wonderful and worth living, Especially when we have enough care to thrive.
I would really like to get back into practicing more complete fitness. The mental recovery from my back injury has been longer and more impactful than I initially anticipated, but I think it’s important, especially since routine and consistency is a constant practice.
I want to seek more joy and gratitude in everyday things. I take so much for granted.
I want to allow myself to let go of things so I can find the even better. I think this applies to a lot of aspects in my life: career, hobbies, material things, maybe even some relationships. If I never let go of things, it can be quite cluttered and I have no space for the better things or the better for me in this moment things in my current stage of life. Sometimes this clutching stems from fear, at others complacency, at others guilt or a dozen other reasons. But it's getting in the way of my growth and stresses me out so I think it's time to let go of this habit.
Find balance.
I need to rededicate myself to fitness. My quality of life is so much better, and really what is at stake. Many know the way, few walk it.
Stop trying to plan everything and just live, feel, do. Stop trying to define how you should feel, act and approach life. Be you!
Spend less, eat clean, forgive myself
Improve my abilities to stand in another's shoes. Better manage money
I really need some time to just take a breath. I did round one of The Great Purge. Two more to go! I have to remind myself to be consistent, not give up hope, and pace myself. I do hope by next year that I'll have taken back a little time for me.
I am getting healthier. Walking 30 a day and controlling what I eat. So far the plan is working. I now give anyone 3 pieces of unsolicited advice… 1. In talking to people personally or professionally I tell them to Calm Things Down. You are worth a lot to a company by being the rational and level headed one. 2. Live a Good Life: I worked for 53 years, taught HS Sci for 35 and became so wrapped up in day to day stuff of being a Dad, Husband, Coach, Teacher etc. that I never took my kids or wife out to lunch. Or something like that. 3. Keep the Old Man Out (in my case) or Ole Lady Out. Remain mentally young. Go visit an ole friend across the US. Buy a new piece of technology and show someone how to use it.
It remains as eloquent as 2020 could say: "...to find my own identity and place in the world, to make the change. To keep pushing on. To love myself and accept things before anyone else can. To not defend those who are not worthy, or to protect my own reputation in association. To fight back. To forget and not waste the energy continuing to draw out a long process of moving on, to appreciate those who stand by me and really enjoy my here and now." -- like 2021, things move slowly, like a glacier. But it forges a way. I aim to improve my health, fitness and body by 2023 10Q, which I hope reflects on the incredibly poor mental health I have had. I would like to come off antidepressants, to experience real happiness and peace without the numbness. To have the energy to thrive, not simply survive. Horizon lines; remain focussed. Things are moving in tunnel vision, but promise you don't falter for pace.
I want to keep working on work-life balance. I advocated last year to reduce my workload to 90%, but it has been hard to make that happen and keep my every-other-Fridays off truly free of work. I would like to also remember not to put too much weight on what I think other people think of me.
Pues retomando mi vida espiritual, postraciones y hara como rutina. Quiero hacer seminarios. No descuidar nunca mas la salud mental y trabajar el autocuidado. Trabajar siempre desde el amor y no olvidar mi valía, no intentar siempre hacerlo todo perfecto y permitirme fallar. Y como cosa material, encontrar una casa en la naturaleza.
I really could use a bit more meditation. I've gotten away from it over the past couple years, especially as my life has gotten busier. But I like who I am more when I meditate, and my life is never too busy that I can't spare a few minutes.
Everyone is too busy thinking about themselves to be thinking about you. Your intuition knows, always. Your mind is powerful, you can condition yourself to be happy. Think about good things, and they will happen. I am a very lucky person! Everything, like every single thing happens FOR you, not TO you. It’s all for a reason and to help you attain a higher level of self awareness. Depression happens when you are resistant to a change you do not want. It is better to take the path with the least resistance. Stop thinking of what could have been. Accept everything that happens for you, and learn from it.
Ever the same answer: take better care of my body. Advice is useless, even irritating. I know why it's important, what to do, what the consequences are if I don’t. Each new creak, discomfort or infirmity screams at me. Justifiably. What I lack is will. I wish there were a pill for that.
Don't do anything that feels satisfying when you're angry. I read this online and it stopped me cold. The things that feel satisfying when you're angry are always, always the things intended to wound, to twist a knife, to get revenge. And while they may feel good in the moment, they're never going to be something you feel good about later.
I read a line in a memoir (I believe Untamed by Glennon Doyle) that someone said to the author, “You’re constantly shouting, ‘I want to be seen!’ and then you promptly disappear.” It resonated deeply with me. In trying to write my book, themes re-emerged as I’ve been deciding how much to reveal (or not). They also make me look at what I have yet to resolve: hiding, pretending to be someone I am not, untangling what’s true from what’s not, not knowing where I belong. These issues have been with me since I was a very young girl for reasons that made sense as a survival mechanism in what was a very unsafe environment and still live in me today, even though I am not, nor have I been for a long time, in such unsafety. I believe that if, in some way that feels safe, I can share about these tendencies, the book will resonate with others authentically; as, to some extent, everyone fears being vulnerable and showing sides of themselves that they may still believe (consciously or unconsciously) are unlovable. I have many friends who tell me that I am more than enough and I am safe. Will I finally listen?
I would like to do shamanic training as well as the PGCE. That may have to be online or just self-study, but it would be great. Also finishing the permaculture course. Advice: Remember unexpected GOOD things can also happen.
I noticed I said I wanted to drive on the freeway but I'm actually making big steps on that this year. I have my car now, I sometimes take my friends on the freeway and it's been manageable. I just need more practice and then I'll be okay. Also, focus more. Maybe look into that medication. Or hoping that job switch will help me actually flourish. I just dream of flourishing career-wise.
Get an exercise routine and stick to it.
I'd like to hold onto the wisdom from Sylvia Boorstein's book, "Happiness is an Inside Job," and use mindfulness to make space between action and reaction, and use that space to be kinder and more patient.
Keep active
I would love to learn how to wild forage. It would be really lovely to eat more sustainably and learn different ways of eating. We just moved next to an ancient woodland and there are so many interesting plants. This sounds silly, I guess. For the most part I’m in a really beautiful place in my life. A therapist I ended up not getting on with advised me to trust my instincts more and I’ve found that useful. I have always been so mistrustful of myself, and I end up being correct a lot of the time. So I’m trusting my gut-I want to learn how to wild forage and I want to learn from someone with knowledge and experience. I want to be more connected to nature and more in touch with my food. I want to work with the earth and bury my fingers in the loam.
Life is short. At some point I have to stop hoping that someone can or wants to change. I want kindness.
To give myself a break. I am hopeful that will be new knowledge of cognitive distortions that I can apply it to myself every now and then.
Well I think last year Ashleigh had some good ideas. Now that I am working full-time again, there is that struggle of using your time wisely and thoughtfully. One thing I am currently successfully maintaining is being active. I have been biking quite regularly and going to the gym 3-4 times a week. A few times a week I have been trying to carve time out to write in my journal before bed so that my head isn't so full. And though my usage hasn't been perfect, I am also making use of my agenda. I just want to celebrate these small successes because they do feel good and do make a difference. I would like to get a better understanding of our financial situation and complete my taxes for as many years back as I can. Financial literacy feels like an important thing to have and pass on. It may also take away some of the stress I feel towards being 'behind' if I understand what the actual situation is (especially regarding Susi's income). Oh to be an adult.
Stop, take a deep breath, and count to ten before snapping. At my kids, at my husband, at my colleagues. Slow down.
I shouldn't work with the sole goal of monetary reward and positive feedback - that's my people pleasing nature coming to life in the workplace. I should work to feel fulfilled. This doesn't mean I need to be 100% passionate about my job, but it does mean that I should be getting some internal/intrinsic motivation from what I spend the bulk of my time doing. Perhaps at work and outside of work I need to examine my need to be a people pleaser. Sure, I can accept that it's to an extent a part of my personality - but I also need to be better about NOT constantly trying to please other people or worrying about what they're perceiving of me/the situation. It'll probably make me happier. Oh WOW I just read my answer from last year and I said the same thing... guess I'm a work in progress.
To live in my NOW. To love my perfectly flawed life as it is in this moment. To rest my field of energy in my being. Give myself spaciousness to rest, meditate, write, contemplate, exercise and work only part time. My creativity is calling. I want to heed the call and I resist the call. I'd like to heal the resistance and allow the flow to flow through me and out in creative ways.
I want to be able to accept and love my body the way it is. It has been so hard for me to do this time and time again, but I want this year to be different. I want to be able to ask for help both because I am able to and I can recognize I need help. I can't change parts of me that I dislike the most. So I have to get over it.
Keep my eye on what is important and tune out the distractions
If we're not having fun at work, we're not doing it right. Create what you wish you had - at work. The processes dialed in. The tools to make drudgery easier. Meditation - daily-ish Simplify. If it's not a "hell yes!" - it's a no.
I get so much good advice because I ask all the time about situations. But I either forget it or internalize it, so I can't think of anything in particular. I would like to be nicer to my husband, who I'm crazy about but don't always show it. .... I did think of one piece of, well, not advice exactly, but an observation that carries practical wisdom: Everything changes, everyone ages. A good thing to keep in mind. There's NEVER a normal, not really, so why not roll with whatever comes along.
I think the only thing I really want to do this coming year is to be less anxious and stressed out. I haven't really received any advice or counsel this year. I feel a little empty and numb and directionless, to be honest. I think being grateful is always useful, and being a good listener, and counting my blessings... these are all good things. But I still don't feel like this is quite enough or quite right.
I would like to improve myself by accepting more of what life/I am and understanding that resisting is sometimes negative energy.
My intentions for the coming year are many! I'd like to work on addressing patterns of activation and escape. I want to build intimacy, vulnerability, and honesty with myself and others. I'd like to take care of my body and health. And continue to balance my desires for improvement with my work on accepting what is and who I am right now.
I’d love to be cured of Multiple Myeloma but that’s an improvement I can’t control! I think my therapist has been my best source of advice for improving my artistic efforts. I keep “falling off the rails” in trying to improve my output and she keeps reminding me to continue to create to give the world more of my creative works and to put aside the distractions of my fluctuating confidence.
Lean Back. Slow and Low. Let presence find me. Both things are true. You are not on anyone else's timeline. One moment at a time. I love you, I'm never leaving you.
I am going to repeat the beginning of last year's with a favorite: Rabbi Zivic always says or has said, don't sweat the small stuff, it's all small stuff. He also said, if you don't do anything else, light the candles on Friday night. This year at Shavuot, I finally joined a new Shul. It was the best thing I could have done. There is so much to be involved in and ways to learn and grow. Its a beautiful place with a lot of great people. I am quite happy that I finally decided to make the change. It's also a lot closer than my old Shul and I am definitely participating so much more. I also need to figure out how to get cardio back into my life, it will help improve me in a lot of ways. Running, biking, something!
I want to get to know the parts of myself that have good intentions and try to protect me, but their methods are no longer serving me. In fact they are harmful to me or others. It’s the prideful parts, the one who gets so easily offended and defensive, the one who wants others to feel shame and remorse when they commit any error, the one who is in constant need of affirmation, thanks and to be seen. I’ve been learning about myself and others in a fresh way through the lens of Internal Family Systems. I want to heal the hurt parts and become a better internal leader who is more in touch on a daily basis with my Self, as it’s called in IFS. I hope this will help me improve the quality of my marriage, my therapy work with clients and just help me in general be a better version of myself. I also want to make a closer friend or deepen the relationships that I have. I feel disconnected from the people that I used too be close to. It’s distance and me having a family and then not. But I want my relationships to deepen. I want to be a better friend and have relationships that last longer. I also want to have a healthy pregnancy and labor. Last time I could put so much energy and time into making my pregnancy the best it could be. That feels harder now that I’m full time worker and parent. So I hope I still make time to care for myself.
I want to be more proactive in how I use my time, and I want to submit more to God. I remember my pastor said to me, "More hardship and more burden for others drives you to more prayer, and that is what sustains you." I feel like I have a lot to learn about God sustaining me as I submit to him.
I'd like to be less scared of what it would mean to not be anxious or not be depressed and dive into what it could mean to just live my life. "There's always turbulence on the way up to cruising altitude" is something that I'd like to guide my year with.
I want to get a better handle on my physical health now that I'm on track with my mental health.
I would like to improve my health by losing weight and eating healthy food. It has been suggested that I have restricted my choices in life by being a slave to my habits and addictions. I want to “wake up”.
Advocating for my own self care has been tremendously wonderful this year. I have a daily morning yoga practice followed by a daily morning meditation. I go to bed early and get plenty of sleep. I also drink plenty of water throughout the day. On the whole this means I feel better day to day than I ever have before.
I'd like to limit the amount of time I spend on online games- especially solitaire, which I (can) do for hours on end. It feeds my constant self-censure about how I spend my time. Instead of constantly berating myself, knowing I should be doing something other than what I'm doing, I'd like to be more choiceful and feel more in control of how I allocate my time.
I would like to learn how to do less. To be less attuned to tending to the needs of others, and more attuned to my inner world and creativity.
I want to allow myself peace. I let the expectations of others control my life and work myself to exhaustion. I deserve to do things for myself I like (see my family, go to concerts or games, read, or just sit in my office and listen to music). I can’t bring myself to tell people no, and it’s taken a toll on me, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I deserve peace.
Reinforce what I aimed for last year: more communication with family and friends. This is a difficult issue for me. I still struggle with it.
This past year I was gifted the power to say no, and it has immensely improved my life. It has made my life more peaceful and full and much less frantic. I hope to continue this into the next year.
Stop smoking!! I don't have to do everything all the time!
I want to continue to prioritize balance and wellness. I'll be a new attending and by this time next year, I'll be collecting for my list and oral boards, and probably will have gone soft... but I want to be happy.
I need to work on my mood swings and expectations of others (mostly M). I need to remember to breathe. I need to remember that it is also hard for him. I need to take a moment when I feel the rage coming on. I need to know that not everything has to happen right away. I need to have time for myself and to do things that are good and important to ME. I need to also just be me.
I have been doing a good job of getting my life administratively together, and being better about keep everything in better shape. Part of this is acknowledging the maintenance required for everything in life, and part of this is then *doing* said maintenance. The advice I would like to continute to use is that of being "pro-conflict". I need to bring up issues sooner, and I can't mince words. I can't hold back. I can't doubt myself. I keep finding myself to be right. I have to trust myself.
I've kind-of been saying the same thing for the last 2 years, so i'll keep it going... I'd like to reconnect with my spiritual self again. I've noticed that I stopped talking as much to God and I am less focused on making the world a better place and helping other people. I am in a stage of my life where I am very much focused on my own issues, which is ok in this time of starting a family and making big adult decisions, but I shouldn't forget about helping other people / looking outward as well. When I have kids I'll want to be that passionate ideals driven person again for sure.
The only opinion that I should care about is mine and my loved-ones
Marie Forleo said 'create before you consume' meaning every day before you consume, put something of your own out there. don't just reach for Netflix !
Continue carving out time to exercise. Run where there's no time to gym. Read - every day, even if it's just a page. Be present with Tali.. she'll only be this little for a short time. Be judicious with time. Wear sunscreen. Breathe. Stretch. Work actively to be part of a community. Light shabbos candles, mark time mindfully.
I would really like to explore my spiritual connection to Judaism I am not sure who to turn to, but I would certainly contact my rabbi
Don't the the little things bother me ... and everything is a little thing right?!
Increasing calmness, equanimity, and compassion for myself and others, even in the most difficult of situations. Advice to remember: stop trying to figure out how others view me or a given situation. Ask and listen to the reply if needed. But do not spend the mental and emotional anguish of assuming negative views from others.
I choose to be a man of my word. I choose to operate with buffers so that anxiety will not rule my world. I choose to only take on that which I know I can execute effectively. I choose to accomplish what I make time for without drama or delay. I choose to do less to get more done. And I chose to trust that I am enough.
I would really like to listen to my body more and lean into what it needs, and sometimes that is rest. I would like to not overextend myself and instead find better balance, even if it means less time hanging out with friends. Dewayne has been a great role model in this regard and I've been working on it in therapy too. Understanding that I need to take care of myself first before giving myself to the world can guide me in this endeavor.
Financially stable, working a reliable job that pays the bills so that I can contribute to our home + provides work-life balance, continued happiness with Damian and doing things/activities that make me happy.
It's okay to set boundaries. It's okay to say no to others. You know how to do it. You've said it to yourself enough times already. You can't give what you don't have. Self time is important.
I'd like to have more self-esteem and less of an idea that I am the problem in most situations I walk into. I feel that kind of confidence builds upon itself and helps to make better decisions
I would like to continue to work on evolving myself and others -- to look at my own trauma and that of my ancestors in order to release what no longer serves me. I have been watching and learning from the work of Thomas Hubl (collective and ancestral trauma), Michael Meade (deep story telling), more trauma speakers in order to help myself help others.
1) Express more gratitude to God and others. 2) Pick up the phone. Write letters/ cards. Remember birthdays. Communicate. 3) Share my music. 4) Get more sleep 5) Do a Spanish immersion.
I would like to continue prioritizing myself and my health, knowing that I can show up for others/my family/my community/my clients best when I am showing up for myself first and foremost. This looks like sleep, movement, time to study, and time to contemplate.
Stay on my side of the street.
I need to find peace with the kiddos sports activities—which at the moment are challenging, because even though they’re fun / meaningful for the kids and for us, they tents to completely subsume a weekend. It’s hard to make any other plans. So… the goal is to find a more positive relationship with this, whether the number of activities diminishes or not.
I just want to be at peace next year. I know it will be difficult no matter where I am, but I'm so tired of being tired. I want to make time to do the things that make me happy, like hiking and stretching and cuddling with Rufio and just BEING. Every moment of my life right now is filled with work or stress, either that or it's guilt enough for not working enough or feeling stressed enough. I want to practice loving myself exactly how I am, and just finally feeling, for the first time in years, like I am Enough.
I would like to continue to pursue embodiment and self compassion. Im in the midst of sorting out some medical news, the preliminary results don't look great. I hope that I will maintain a friendly, neutral, and supportive relationship with my body and will continue to feel proactive and accepting of my health.
Two things. I would like to focus on direct action and kindness. I often don't treat people kindly--I fall for temptation to appeal to a reactionary exasperation. It's all performative. I also want to focus on doing what I want without fear of economizing on cost. I let saving money stand in for forging ahead with new experiences often.
I would like to be at a healthy weight. I have been making strides with Weight Watchers and want to continue my efforts. I would also like to have a clean environment. I have 22 years worth of teaching materials in my little studio apartment and I look like I should be on "Hoarders." I feel so ashamed. I can't have people over and I'm scared my landlord will find out. I need to develop a plan to attack this mess bit by bit everyday. I am also really struck by the "Let Them" poem by Cassie Phillips: Just let them, if they want to choose soemthing or someone overy you, LET THEM. If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM..." and the poem goes on in this manner. It's sort of just letting go which has been the theme of the year. I was also deeply influenced by something I saw on facebook where the message was something to the effect of "don't be so hard on people." I keep thinking of that and trying to remember to just let it go, to cut people a break.
I need to be more patient and understanding with Gwyn. She lives with chronic pain and chemo brain and that’s not her fault. I shouldn’t get frustrated with her when I am struggling or sick and she doesn’t care for me the way I care for her when she is sick.
Just keep moving forward and looking ahead. I am SO glad I left a bad relationship - and everything that was familiar for the life I am having now.
My weight is a losing issue. I always plan/try for a lower weight and I almost never get there. Maybe I'll tune up my French instead for next year. I did sign up for a course on the Psalms that just started. I did read some of the Talmud some days last year...and probably will next year as well. We passed the 1000 day mark recently for the Daf Yomi ( a page a day.) I have not read every page but I certainly read more than I ever had.
Dang, I feel like I am failing an exam because I didn't study beforehand. I thought I knew the answer to this one. I would like to set my personal health up as at least as important as my professional goals, and make some breakthroughs. The things that might affect heart health include weight, stress, and psoriasis. And not getting Covid. There is no advice that has guided me more than my own rational mind.
You can have multiple feelings about things at the same time. You can be both sad and relieved. You can be both happy and scared. You can feel anger and love simultaneously.
I want to improve my physical fitness by getting back into a regular fitness routine, especially classes at my local YMCA. Right now I'm going 1x/week, and I want to up that to 2-3x/week. I'm pretty happy with how the rest of my life is going though! (professional, social, mental, emotional)
I want to continue to develop professionally. My goals are to develop my skills, including intervention skills, my ability to network with others, and my ability to intervene on behalf of our consumers. I want to be a better husband and father. I want to be a better human being and continue my journey to gain wisdom and understanding. This year I was given the chance to develop new skills and the trust to do it, and I hope to make everyone proud.
I think this links to what I'd like to achieve, because I guess my achievement goal is really an improvement goal, but finding that... man, it will feel like an achievement right now. I don't need to hike the PCT or discover a species or get a promotion or whatever. I want to improve my life by letting go of constantly trying to improve myself. I want to let go of perfectionism and seek instead meaning, experience, connection, aliveness, the beauty in being imperfect. I can talk that talk, but it's often not my self-talk. I do want to keep reveling in the beauty of the world, but I also want to notice where I'm adding to that beauty. I am pretty good at saying yes, I am valid, even when I do not contribute anything, but I wan to be motivated to contribute and I want to feel that validity all the more richly. I saw a poem in a Rosh Hashana machzor that said "I will believe the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful it is" and I want to embody that this year. In terms of improving my life, I want to do more of what I'm scared of. I want to expand my community in the Bay or commit to living abroad, not because I'm running away but because I'm expanding towards. I want to move my body again more, be outside more, be amongst more. I want to see my mom as more of a guide - the way she's loosely connected to so many people around her, remembers to ask about their families and lives, finds out about things through conversation. I used to be more like that before the pani and I want to move back towards being more like that again.
Don’t strive for ever increasing efficiency in order to get more done. Acknowledge our finitude. Slow down. Enjoy the infinite blessing of life itself.
I need to have more self-confidence and not be afraid of change. I have the open to trying new things. This year we took up yoga and I tried mushrooms! If I could give myself a piece of advice it would be to be brave and embrace change even if it scary. Believe in yourself you have been through much worse!
While I feel as though I've made strides to improve how I handle my anxiety and how my anxiety expresses itself, it still roils inside me. I'd like to find some sense of peace. There's sort of an inevitability of oblivion that I'm starting to embrace. It sounds grim to say it aloud, but I feel a stronger sense of mortality now than I ever have before and it doesn't scare me. Instead, I feel like nothing is going to be that bad because life is finite regardless.
I still sometimes feel like I have to prove myself “worthy”. As if I have to be”doing” something worthwhile all the time. So I would like to improve that thinking by remembering that I am ENOUGH. My friend Debbie reminds me of this often, so I will try to remind myself if that on a regular basis.
I would like to let go of things I have been saving for years that bring me no joy or purpose.
I want to organize my pantry and kitchen cabinets, my closet, bookcases, and craft supplies. I want to be able to find what I need when I need it rather than buying more stuff I don’t need. I want to donate the things I don’t need or use or wear to people who can use or wear them; people who do need them. I want to have “enough” rather than too much. The best advice may be to just start. One drawer, one shelf, one box rather than looking at the whole.
I want to claim some space for me. Maybe a cooking class! Or getting back into yoga? I don’t know what it’ll be but I know I need some time that’s not about work or parenting or being productive with home stuff.
I want to stop using social media/my phone so much. I want to be more intentional with my time. I feel like I have a lot of voices that move me in that direction -- some of them even come from social media and therein lies the conundrum. Listen to more real life voices.
I’d like to spend less time on my phone, consume less negative media/news, speak up and help those in need around me, and stop judging others so much.
I'd like to improve my marriage, sex life and work/life balance. My wife and I have had a really rough patch for about a year and half now, plus we have been sexless for many years. As for overscheduling myself with work, I am actively cutting back, so that I don't feel like I have no time for myself.
I just need to reduce stress. At this point it's going to really effect my health. I wish it weren't this way, but I'm in the hot seat for quite a few things. I thought the second I got up North that I'd be less stressed. But my stress has actually gone up, and I'm responsible for a lot more that I can actually be responsible for. I'm not capable of it, monetarily, or at this point physically. I can see that (so I guess mentally I can handle it?) and I can see that it needs to be fixed before I end up in the hospital. I don't really have any advice or counsel to help with that. I think maybe I just need to take on more work, except my past self would say that's a good way to die. She's right, but what other option do I have? 4k of moving debt, plus 13.5k car debt is not sustainable. I have to get rid of it.
I want more challenging work, I want to keep working out and seeing results, I want to spend more time with my family. Last year, chasing my goals and writing them down in my diary and checking in on them has helped to stay on track for the important things and let other things go - keep doing that!!
I would like to center joy and gratitude and acceptance this year. Life is too short to let it pass in a constant state of just getting through each day. My friend and mentor, Marta, passed away this year after a decade battling cancer. She lived more life in her 50-some years than I will by the time I reach 100 if I keep going the way I'm going. She was insanely busy, yes, but she connected so deeply with people, and she laughed so easily, and she let many things roll off her back while she fought tirelessly against other things - she knew what truly mattered and what didn't. I want to improve myself this year by finding my inner Marta, and hopefully her spirit will help me along that ride.
In the past year or two, I've made a few new friends. And, because I'm aging, I'm more aware of my neighborhood's community of old and frail folks. So many! So I'm helping my crippled neighbor with small tasks. I assisted a lady with a walker, who was shopping in the supermarket; I helped her put on her sweater. We all need to keep an eye on each other, and I'm less shy about approaching neighbors who might need a hand. More of this in the coming year would be good for me, for them. We're all coping as best we can, sometimes with great courage. It's the age to hunker down. By the way, home sewing is a huge comfort to me, a soothing and meditative practice. As a fellow home-sewer said, "Keep calm and stitch on." As long as one can.
This is the easiest to answer for I’ve seen with my own eyes the power of belief. It’s been a struggle for 60 plus years searching for answers while counting my blessings for health and fir all we’ve accomplished despite great obstacles overcome. This past year so many answers were placed in our families hands it’s overwhelming in one respect yet answers this question of guidance. That our lives are in adonais hands it’s written who shall among others be blessed and who shall struggle g-d inscribed me for a year of great blessings last yom kippor. I want to believe part of those blessings was my non wavering belief in g-d hears our prayers.May this coming year continue to bless my family following g-Ds guidance.
Continue loving, growing, being kind and patient. Have fun. Laugh. Chill out. Exercise. Be the best you can be. Sell at least 5 homes by this time next year and purchase my own.
Just be. Let change happen. Change is where the stability is. You have enough.
Don't be afraid to have the tough conversations, really dig in. Get deeper with the people in your life. It will really improve the relationships and connections. I am a conflict avoider and therefore steer clear of the difficult conversations. It makes it harder to feel true connections.
Act, no matter what. You'll learn by doing. You'll learn from your mistakes. You'll learn from others' suggestions and advice. Just act and stop overthinking.
Don't be so reactionary. Have patience. Try to see POV of others, not to agree but to understand. Follow the teachings of Buddha. The bit of counsel is always the same...let it go. Everything works out for good.
I would like to become more disciplined in every aspect of my life without losing the joy of living. I should drink less, work on my core, write more, create and play more music, and continue to grow in my effectiveness as a public official.
See #6. Find lasting help with treatments Find the discipline to accomplish things Learn WP and figure out Photoshop alternative Music, writing
I would like to be less resentful over perceived slights from family members. The resentment is useless.
Implement simple routines for morning and evening. Insight: Small things bring the greatest joy and accomplish the greatest things.
I need to focus on my health this year. I had covid almost a full calendar year ago, and I still feel like I'm recovering. I've gained 40 pounds. I'm tired all the time. My smell is messed up. Some things may not be fixable but I need to take my wellbeing into my own hands, make necessary doctor's appointments, and get moving as much as I can.
The piece of advice I heard that really stuck with me is, "Know what is mine to handle; know what is mine to support; know to leave the rest alone."
I think my top goal is to just stay focused and take care of me. Stand up for me. Make sure I am getting what I need and what is best for me. In a relationship, in my food, in my exercise, my medical care, my job, everything. I’ve been getting better at this, and I want to keep getting better. I would also like to see progress toward getting into better shape, but that will have to be an outcome of the above work. Not the goal. It never is. The other thing I want this year is to become an active member of a jewish community, likely by joining a Shul. I need the community and there is no better place than a jewish community.
I'd like to start acting on the realizations I've received this past year, regarding sorting my finances, looking into home ownership, and sorting out if I want to keep current housemates or get rid of one or both and try for adoption.
I would like to cultivate a deeper understanding of how to engage, support, and be present with an aging parent with whom I have a complex relationship.
If it costs you your peace it’s too expensive. So like in the next year I just want to take care of the things that stress me out and just fix what needs fixing and let go of what isn’t for me
Not speaking from a place of hate. I know I was the one that said that. But it has helped me a lot. Not only from a place of hate but also from a place of doubt. To learn to speak from a place of growth. And by not doing that, to also not stay in a place of hate. Rather than avoid those feelings, move on from them. To see them, acknowledge them but not let them be the end of the journey, just part of the landscape. A sad, sometimes hurtful part, but also just a temporary one.
Id like to be kinder, more thoughtful, less crass and harsh. Less cold, less critical, less contemptuous. Less mean. More fun. More confident. More hardworking and responsible. I'd like to make my mom proud, and show her I'm ok and can take care of myself. Id like to take better care of my appearance, for myself and Jody. Id like to be a more respectful and productive employee for Tim. I'd like to get sober for myself. Id like to be a warmer girlfriend to Jody. A better student to my rabbi and G-d. [At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: “I have to go to work — as a human being. What do I have to complain of, if I’m going to do what I was born for — the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?” - Marcus Aurelius]
I refer back to my previous answer about focusing on my health and getting to a healthy weight. Materially, I would like to pay down debt, so I can be in a better position to buy a house should the opportunity arise. For advice, I go back to an episode of my favorite cartoon, Voltron: "Patience yields focus."
I heard something last year that was an aha moment, a new way of looking at something that might be useful. But I can't remember what it was!
I want to be in shape again, especially after I lost my fitness after this traumatic brain injury. I want to bring the knowledge that answers aren't given when going on a 'search.' The search is the journey, and that's okay, isn't it? I want to improve myself so that I'm in nurturing, positive relationships. I want to engage with my creativity more often, whether it's through writing songs or joining a pottery class.
I want to continue my journey towards acceptance/action and away from judgment/perfectionism. Peaceful mind, active hands, open heart. From this I believe so much change, connection. abundance and service will flow.
"You can't control the success or failure of a thing you work on. You can only control the thing you work on." Lin-Manuel Miranda This is my new reminder to "choose wisely" (Thank you, Indiana Jones). Personally, it's about learning to not overcommit to so many social engagements when I need more down time. Professionally, it's about being more strategic and selective about which clients to work with and what kinds of projects take on.
I would like to develop the habit of doing (being, saying, thinking, etc.) ENOUGH, and KNOWING that I AM enough, and trusting what God has in store for me. I feel like I've spent most of my life bouncing between anxious hyper-vigilance and depressive-self neglect. I want to find the way of inner freedom and trust in myself and my connection with the UNIVERSE that I will be OK. Asha told me that my quest is to find me, be me, be authentic and appropriate.
feel I would like to improve myself and my life next year by being my authentic self. Do those things that my heart and soul yearn to do. Yes, there is a piece to advice I received in the past year that could guide me, keep listening to uplifting messages and doing the next right thing.
I would like to be smarter. Some advice was to work smarter not harder.
Sometimes, these questions seem to overlap a lot! Wise counsel was the lecture my doctor gave me. She's probably half my age, but she knows what's good for me. Hearing it from her had a greater effect than telling myself. I need to lose weight. I need to improve my stamina. I want to be able to do more, to move better, and to have less pain in my knees. It's all very practical.
Continue to improve my body and continue to try new physical things and enjoy my hobbies again. The biggest thing to get Jeff and I into couple therapy that leads to sex therapy
I hope to finally lose the thirty pounds I've pledged many times to lose. At my age it's not just vanity. Weight loss will add a few healthy years to life and I'd like that. A piece of advice by an old friend was basically-"That was forty years ago, forget about it."
I want to like my house and feel physically strong. Full stop. Simply that. I've probably received a lot of good counsel this year, but no specific incident comes to mind.
My friend Wendy's words are the piece of advice that I got this year to guide me. "Say yes to yourself" I'm not so sure where this mantra will lead or what I need to keep doing to ensure that I'm living up to those words.
The piece of advice that has stuck with me the most but that I have done the worst job so far of following is the central idea of “4000 Weeks”: recognizing that I will never get to everything I want to do, to make conscious choices to spend the time I do have on the things that matter to me. In the coming year, I would like to do better at that. No more looking up from YouTube and realizing my one free hour of the day has disappeared.
I would like to have a healthy routine inform my life. I love the flow available as part of the retired-from-day-job lifestyle but the practices that ground me: meditation, yoga, aerobic exercise, studio/art making, girlfriend visiting, library are so easily derailed by phone distraction, Joe-care, household projects etc. I seek the balance of structure, flow and flexibility. It feels if I impart even just some formal cadence, it will feel sturdier overall. Best advice or counsel this past was probably from Reyne the palliative care nurse to retire now not later, and from Chris the life coach to enjoy the golden time with Joe. I would also like to get all my well-medical care done... eyes, labs, shots, etc. I need to care for the physical me.
Fall down six times, stand up seven. If I have a bad day, I don’t throw it all away. I go to sleep, wake up the next day, and try again
I'd like to be a kinder parent. Be curious about kids' development. Look at them like a puzzle and delight in the journey. Even when you want to throw them off the roof. Be curious.
Be patient with yourself and others. Know that your life, basically, has been good and you are very lucky (kinnehora). Know there is always hope, and keep that thought real and forefront in your mind.
I would like to be braver with verbalizing my feelings to those around me. It's still difficult for me to express myself sometimes, and even thought I'm a writer, it's often hard for me to verbalize how I'm feeling. I'm terrible at taking compliments. I'm practicing not just giving them more, but also accepting them with grace and not ignoring myself in the process.
I would expect to be in a more secure financial position. I expect to be more knowledgeable about my companies services and instruments. I would expect to have more fun and more sexual experiences. I have learned to limit my tendency to be too honest with my employer and to complain too much about other's incompetence.
I would like to get better at time management. I probably say this every Yom Kippur. As I type this, it's 1:37 am, LOL. It is Yom Kippur, though. But, I just spent the evening decompressing by watching The Voice performances and practicing my singing. But seriously, I do think I have learned some new time management skills recently that I plan to practice implementing more often.
I would like to be more organised and focused in my life. I’m all over the place at the moment and waste a lot of time doing nothing much.
I would like to improve my life by letting go of expectations of what is “right” or “wrong” or good/bad and instead just focus on how what is happening is either meeting or not meeting my needs and how I can communicate my own needs better to others. Appreciate how meditation allows this level of disconnect - “I am Not my thoughts”.
Id like to continue finding peace and allow myself to feel more stability. I want to do more of what my heart wants even when it scares me and I don’t have a back up plan. One piece of advice I got from a lady I met at her art shop was to ask the universe for a stuff that you want and ask the universe for a sign if you want to know it’s a decision that suits you.
My life would be improved if I could travel more freely and not be afraid of contracting Covid. Consequently, I could spend more time with friends indoor.
I'd like to continue taking risks. I'd like to continue pushing my boundaries in thought and action. I'd like to do so in such a way that I won't even recognize who I am today. Play with house money. Memento Mori
In the next year I hope that I can come to better understand my new adult ADD diagnosis and all the coping mechanisms I've developed over the years to manage it (as well as my ongoing anxiety/depression). I want to look more closely at the problems this neurodivergence has caused me as well as where it's helped me, and find ways that allow me be a better partner, friend, daughter, sister, auntie, and colleague that are aligned with how my brain works. My therapist Bren said "it's not a problem until it's a problem" which helps me feel empowered in managing my own care and life regardless of if my brain processes in the way this capitalist society says it should.
Same old, same old: listen better, interrupt less! From many years ago - still apt: “You don’t have to say / respond to every thought in your head.” Thank you, An.
I joined a gym this year and was really enjoying it. I've not been for a little bit while my knee heals, but I look forward to getting back to it. I think I've learned that I will never do anything really active without a class I've signed up for or a coach.
Getting more grounded in intuitive eating. Stop getting sucked into the phone and social media. Read a lot of books. Bike and walk more. Do more things in Nashville so I can enjoy this city that I moved back to. Make a new friend.
Inspired by my experience of Internal Family Systems theory, I’m following through on the intention to become increasingly Self-led. I remember that my Self essence, Self energy, and Self-leadership are available to me at any time, I have all their associated qualities that I’ll need, and I have as much of them as I’ll ever need.
Learn to know when something is not my responsibility. Also, I need to do more exercise.
I want to lean into health and wellness. I am joining a gym and trying to eat better.
I would really like to be a healthier weight. Its more aesthetic than anything but I want to be happy to see photos of myself again. Right now I truly do not like the way I look in photos, but I dont feel uncomfortable in my own body (or showing my own body - like I am comfortable going on runs shirtless). I just want to feel more sexy when I see a picture of myself. <<< all of that was written in 2021. It is still relevant. I get on kicks for three weeks or so where I can make progress but then I don't keep at it. I would like my health to become more of the forefront, but wholistically. I am currently treating gum disease and I am hoping that is settled through the next year. I also hope that my heart and gut health get sorted out. I think my heart is fine but I would like to be more active. My gut seems to have issues but I hope by next year I will have more confirmation by having brought it to a doctor.
Practise exercise and eating in a more counsciousnessly way. No sugar added, no farinhas. Meditate more, return to yoga. Accept the ending of relationship, close the Door so we can Open other One.
I would like to be more solicitous of my friends and family (mostly of the young ones). I would like to meditate consistently and for a longer period each day--the only advice anyone really gives me is on my meditation app. It tells me to breathe and to be in the moment. I would like to be a more disciplined teacher, but also, paradoxically, a happier teacher. More spirited.
I don't think I have had advice or counsel this year that has made such an impact on me as that which I had last year regarding my relationship with my son. I would like to be more patient and kind to Peter. I know he needs more of my time and I have been too busy lately.
Listen more and react less. Don't let friendships lag.
Now that I am preparing for marriage, the piece of advice I received was from the book, Marriage Be Hard by KevOnStage and his wife Melissa. In the book Melissa said she had to learn how to trust that her husband is not against her. She said, ‘my husband and I are on the same team.’ I have started saying that about my fiancé as a reminder that it is important to trust him and know that he’s not going to do anything to hurt me and our relationship. I have to remember to not allow negative experiences from past relationships cloud my judgement regarding my current relationship.
The counsel or guiding advice that may help improve myself includes giving myself the attention that I so readily offer to others. Accept help when offered. Meditate every day. Honor the first and last magic hour of every day. Of course my main self improvement aims to collect less and let go of more.
For the last few years now the loneliness in my life has been really hard to sit with. In fact some days it feels more like it swallowing me than sitting with me. I don't really know how to improve that. I have a lot of strong connections, I have built a life for myself I am very content in and I am active in my community. I have tried more with the apps and I have sought out situations to meet new people. I don't know what other advice or counsel that would guide me, but I do know if I could improve any part of my life it would be this.
“If they can force you to do it; you’ve forgotten how to die.” The idea is that if you’re easily bending to other peoples ideals, opinions and emotions that you’re not living firmly enough in your own life. I’d like to be rooted in my own life path by this time next year.
I want to have the spaces around me more organized, I want to get my life into a better routine that incorporates the things that are important to me. I want to just be in a better place.
Meditation. I want to do that more.
It's always about art and expression. I want to improve myself enough to get farther in my audition to America's Got Talent than I got before. My inner wisdom told me I already have it all no matter what the outcome!
I would like to be more me. This maybe feels simplistic but I have lived far too long trying to be who others, especially le parental units, wanted me to be and I'm done. If it makes me happy and does not hurt others... it's time to do it.
I'd like to lose weight, eat more healthily and sleep more. As for the advice, I've been given many over the years, but it's the willingness to change and taking action that matters, not the advice. At least in my case.
Next year I would like to get up earlier and have be in rooms that are not messy. The piece of advice I would give myself is that little changes every day add up.
I want to be back to a sense of stability as far as work, a home, and my spiritual practice. I would love to feel "normal" again. Daisaku Ikeda said we need to see our Karma as our Mission and not as a punishment. So, I think all this suffering and growth are after all, part of my own karmic choices.
I want to do what I am supposed to do. Take proper care of yourself.
I would like to become more involved with Luka’s education and services. I can often feel him stagnating when he is at home without the structure of school. Sometimes I feel helpless trying to engage with him, but I know that is not unique to him but consistent for most autistic children. I’d like to come up with more creative ways to bond with him and take him on more solo outings (had a nice day with him in Hoboken for 2nd day of Rosh Hashanah). I think the advice that I have seen on this is to try and reinforce things that are being taught to him at school when he comes home. This will require me to make more of an effort to reach out to his therapists and start up a dialogue.
I would like to do better at taking care of my physical health. I would also like to maintain my spirituality, including maintaining a conscious contact with God.
Spend less time on the internet. Get more comfortable hosting friends/events. Follow through on intentions.
I’d like to continue finding out who I am outside of seeking validation through caretaking others.
I think my answer to question six answers that question, and the answer I gave to this question last year (which - well done me! That was very wise!) I think probably I need to get better at putting things into practice, rather than just knowing the theory. This was pretty much the advice my counsellor gave me earlier this year - she was impressed that I kept coming up with the answers but concerned that I wasn't living by them, and I think she had a point.
I would like to improve myself by not actively fixating on improving myself. I would like to let go of the active and sometimes intense focus on improvement and let my focus soften on what it is that I love and what brings me joy. I think just doing that would improve me and my life.
The biggest shift has been in the way I understand the value of my work. I no longer view myself as an hourly contractor trying to keep up with ever-increasing client demands. Instead, I'm a provider of value, expertise, and knowledge. It requires a shift in my business model and undertaking some risk but I believe it will pay off in lower stress, higher satisfaction, and ultimately, a more rewarding last leg of my professional career.
I've already started by getting back on the literal horse! I want us to finish this house and start finding the new place for us, with a barn and nearby Jewish community. Past me did a pretty great job of guiding now me, so I'm gonna pay it forward. It will wait. Your productivity does not define your worth. Experience things in their entirety, one at a time. Don't shoulder more than you can savor. Press pause. Keep healthy boundaries. Enjoy this beautiful life.
I don't know about this one. The first thing that comes to mind is about work. I'd like to have better work habits; to feel less guilty about work. I have lots of days where I don't settle down and just get things done. But would that really make my life better? I might earn a bit more. But would the house jobs get on top of me? My life is OK at the moment. There are times when I feel a bit low, when it feels as if there's not much to look forward to. But then I reflect on how things are now and I realize that life is pretty good. There's nothing that I dread doing. Work is OK. I get enough to keep me busy and pay the bills. I don't have to work particularly hard. I'm not stressed. I look forward to my evenings with Fran. I have the freedom and the time to watch the NFL, which is my favourite hobby at this time of year. We've got the prospect of a nice Christmas at home. We're also planning to go to Wales again the week before Christmas to start the wind-down process. I've actually made some good improvements to my life this year that I'm quite proud of. I've improved my sleeping habits by doing the Sleepio course. We regularly start going to bed around 21:45, which involves doing the dishes and getting ready for bed. I'm typically in bed and reading any around 23:00 or 23:30. I wake up regularly at 06:45 on weekdays and 08:00 at weekends (and on Mondays during the football season). It has felt a bit harder since the start of the NFL season with the darker days and late nights on Sundays. I've also lost a bit of weight, which I've written about already. It's not that I'm saying my life is perfect or that there's nothing to improve, but I'm on the whole pretty satisfied and content at the moment. I have been a bit lax with keeping up my friendships now that lockdown has eased. I still have regular calls with Pav and Jenny. But I still haven't arranged to see Neal Carrier and Joe Wass. We had plans earlier in the year but they got cancelled for one reason or another and I haven't been motivated enough to re-arrange them. I don't really go out to see friends very much. I don't feel like I miss it or need it very much, but I think being more sociable might be good for my mood. I can't really think of any good advice or counsel that I've received in the past year. I had been having my regular calls with Tom (Fran's dad) every Thursday until he got ill recently. That helps me reflect on my life regularly because I have to account for what I'm doing with my time. I find that using a pomodoro timer can help me get started on work and stay focused. I'm quite informal and unstructured and try to stay on top of my inbox. Sometimes that does mean that longer-term projects languish a bit because I don't schedule them in or set deadlines. But that's one of the reasons I got tired of work in the first place.
I would like to continue to improve my presence, my intuition, and my confidence. Enough people that I respect and admire have believed in me so that I can believe in myself. Also, I want to continue to grow in my understanding of personal boundaries and responsibilities, so that I know what is mine and not mine to govern. On a practical note, i would like to upgrade my home's breaker box so we are not always flipping the breakers due to power overload.
Keep going to the gym. Work out at home sometimes. Write. Read. Draw. Go to cafes. Go for walks.
To find more balance and peace of mind and enjoy life without holding myself back
I would like to let go and be more in flow. To accept and let others be as they need to be. To know myself better, to not take things personally. To not make assumptions and, instead, ask questions and be curious. I want to be impeccable with my word and always find the positive.
Keep breathing - from Bubbi keep moving, keep some momentum forward and life remains worth getting out of bed for. see how much you can be helpful and kind to others
Significant clutter and overload (clothes?!) reduction to simplify my life. I continue to strive for this, although it has apparently not been the right timing, as the procrastination is sometimes overwhelming. Another topic - excellent advice is 'You do better at almost everything when you can give up the hyper-vigilence, or keep it from taking over.'
Be way more humble
Develop more of a mindful grounding practice. build more space for taking care of myself and my mind.
I would like to be less judgemental. I want to listen more intently. I want to feel experience and connect with more compassion. My daughter Melissa gives me advice often about white privilege and I would like to have more awareness about how to be in the world with others who do not have what I have.
I need to journal to keep track of myself and my life. And I must have a regular discipline of meditation and prayer as well as keep a gratefulness journal. I also need to cultivate optimism and looking on the positive side when confronted with painful reality---politics and the state of the world.
I want to see if I can better understand what motivates people to act as they do - to understand that hurting others is not always intentional. The will to be curious instead of judging...
I would like to let go of my need for male attention as a way to bolster my self-esteem. "Trust your gut" is a great piece of advice I've heard many times over the years, but I ignored it because it felt so incredibly good in the moment to have that validation even though it was fleeting and not based on reality.
I think that I would really like to have more things that I've worked on that I'm proud of. Whether that's academic or artistically, I feel like I always point to things that I didn't really do or things I did a long time ago when I talk about things I'm proud of. I'd like to have something artistically that I can show to people that I'm proud of, but also to have a paper or something academic to show I think would be really cool for career purposes. I think it relates to improving myself because its gonna require being more in touch with myself creatively and honing in on what I really want to do/what's really important to me- and the best ways to artistically express that. I guess a good piece of advice would be to just be honest with myself- Arielle Bob Willis sent that to me in a DM like almost two years ago and I think about that a lot.
Every year it's exactly the same. Eat better and get more exercise. Take the time it requires to make myself healthier (body, mind, and spirit).
I want to learn to listen better. I want to remember that every day.
I made good on last year's goal by starting up accounts to save for retirement. Horray! Now for something much harder... I want to get more sleep consistently. I get up at 7 AM almost every day, but the time I go to sleep is between 11 PM and 2 AM, always leaning later. I get by on less than 6 hours of sleep regularly, but I know I would feel better throughout the day if I was consistently well rested. The piece of advice comes from the 7 Habits book... Don't forget to sharpen the saw!
Holy smokes that's a HUGE one. I don't think I've ever endured such a year of hardship and self growth. I can't even begin to think of all the inspiring quotes and pieces of inspiration I've gathered. Just check my bookshelf, podcasts, IG saved posts, etc... You'll find everything you need there!
Just do it. Keep yourself busy. Le train-train quotidien autant quand je travaille que depuis mon congé parental m’envahit assez pour que je ne fasse rien de plus que le quotidien: cuisiner les repas, faire la lessive, etc. Je ne parviens pas à intégrer l'activité physique et les accomplissements personnels - du genre à imprimer et encadrer des photos, envoyer des paquets surprises à ma soeur en Espagne, etc. Je dois intégrer ceci à ma vie et avoir la discipline de ne pas y déroger.
I would like to go into things with an abundance mindset as much as possible -- I remember learning about this from leaders in the Jewish social justice field this past year, and I think it's something I can work on doing. We do not have scarcity of money, time, people, ideas -- what if we saw the world in this way?
I would like to get more sleep. I think that it would vastly improve my cognitive functioning, mental and physical health, organization, and general life success. Now, I might start getting more sleep if my son started sleeping through the night consistently.
Reflecting back on the growth or ego driven - I still see the light of a growth place - I did apply for several jobs this past year and made it far in the process only to decide that I am content where I am for now. My new boss is very proactive and supportive even if we still don't have all the tools we need to be successful - my goal is to be the best me every day and get what I can get done accomplished and let the rest go - I am softer, kinder and more gentle to myself - and that is the best gift ever!
I would like to feel healthier and be more present in my day-to-day. I think the biggest thing I've learned is that my job doesn't care about me. Individuals might, but the job doesn't. The only one who can take care of me is me.
Keep being kind to myself and do my best to take good care of my body. Being respectful of my limits and listening to myself when I've had enough and NEED to rest even if I don't want to. It's ok to take time for myself. It's important to slow down even when there's a lot going on. The people who enjoy my company and like me for me will wait patiently and not disappear if I am struggling to feel well or whole. They would want me to rest and take care of myself. It's ok to tell my friends where my limits are and if I need extra accommodations.
I think stability. When I start a new job it can feel risky to plan too much outside of it. Or just a bit overwhelming. I'd like to feel that my job is stable, it's going well and it's just part of my broader life that's in motion. A balanced and peaceful life can I say? :)
Let go Don’t engage Remember that I am choosing to stay here - I am choosing my responses. I am NOT victimized by circumstances. I am NOT a victim. I am a warrior and a very kind and living person.
“don’t take life so seriously, it’s not like you’re going to get out alive” This may have notes of being a bit shallow and not very oriented to tikkun olam. But I often hear people who are among the higher echelons of good deed doers complain that they are not doing enough. Their sense of their self worth is too tightly bound to their mitzvah check list. If they end a certain volunteer project they were involved with for a long time, within a week I can hear them talking about their feeling “blue” upon rising every morning, feeling lethargic, down, depressed. They feel their life has lost value and purpose. I wish I could blast a neon sign before their eyes with the above message and tell them it’s okay to appreciate fully what they have accomplished and enjoy a break.
Learn to say no when I need to. Don't say yes because I feel bad. I want to learn to trust my gut and put myself first. I know what I need and I know what I don't. I want to let go of living life for everyone else and start loving my life for me!!!! Usually the other person does not care as much as I think they would and quite often I need to do what's right for me alone.
I would like to have a more forgiving attitude. I have had no counsel. I shall seek it.
Honestly? I want to work as little as possible.
I would like to improve myself and my life by always being more organized, and taking time to be with my husband. I would like to work on de-cluttering our home, thinking about our next steps in life. Some advice and counsel that I have received in the past year that are helpful to me are about focusing on what I'm good at, building relationships, and being myself. And yes, taking time for some introspection. I am really looking forward to getting my c-pap machine and hopefully sleeping better!
One thing that came to me this year while I was pondering on forgiving my dad for sexually assaulting me was this - when the Savior was on the cross he asked His Father to forgive the men doing this to him. He said that they did not know what they were doing. They did know what they were doing, to an extent, yet they didn't know the consequences of their actions. They had no understanding of who He was and how what they did would affect each of them. Same thing with my dad. Did he know what he was doing? To an extent, yes he did. Did he understand (know) the consequences of his actions? No, he did not. Had he known. I pray he would have left me alone. Anyway, I can forgive him in the sense the Savior forgave His murderers - neither really knew what they were doing. This brings me great peace and I'm able to move along further along my journey's path.
Id like to like to have a life outside of my kids and my husband. Something that's mine that brings me joy and purpose and peace. Right now everything I do is reliant on someone else being ok, being happy, being willing to spend time with me or appreciate me. Which, honestly, means that I don't feel respected the majority of the time. It's the design of marriage and motherhood, I think - to keep women in this state of mind. Not intentional, but certainly beneficial to everyone but women...
I'm not sure. I would tell myself, as I always have to, and everyone else has to also, to just chill. We tried therapy, we tried medication, we just need. to. chill.
I woyld like to weigh less, travel more, paint, play the guitar. All of this was part of my life but somehow years ago I strarted letting them go.
I want to improve my brain, and my strength. My body means a lot to me but sometimes I put it on the back burner for my career. I think I can have it all. Also I feel like my brain has gotten lazy. I want to learn something… but then most of me is like eh! I need to start reading and make time even if it’s small amount of time to read and take care of my body. I need to make it fun again! YouTube is lazy!
Everyday I hope to grow closer to God in my relationship with Him. This is my focus rather than how to improve myself.
It's okay. Nothing you've been through thus far has killed you. You've made it through without disastrous consequences, so you'll be okay. It might suck going through it, but you're stronger than you give yourself credit for.
“Don’t get good at what you don’t want to do.” I have enjoyed learning to sew throughout 2020 to now. However I do wonder if I want to sew pillows much longer. And whether the pillows will sell as well as they did last year. The advice above also makes me curious as to what I would like to do, learn, etc. Perhaps just taking my sewing up a level would be enough. In 2023 I want to work towards designing my own tarot deck, designing a card or more every week. And continue to up my game in the sewing department.
Try to be more strategic and less reactionary. Also, hedge as much as possible - give up some gain for better trend results.
The best way to improve my life would be to stop waiting. I felt I have spent the majority of this year waiting, whether it was for a work project to be over so I could escape burnout, for a man to approach me so that my love life could start again, or just for life to happen and to get together with friends. Getting proactive about my life is important. I know I'm starting now by going out during the evenings and looking for a new job, but I need to really ramp up. If I'm not proactive I get stagnant, and that in turn leads to me into a funk that's almost impossible to get out of. It's time to break the cycle.
I would like to be less judgmental of people and ideas. I don’t think I’m judgmental out of malice, but I enjoy categorizing on an intellectual level, so it’s natural for me to categorize what I encounter. The problem is that then I’m not able to enjoy what’s in front of me because I’m thinking too much about whether it’s good or bad. Some advice I received about this is that experiencing life won’t harm me, and that the safety net of being judgmental isn’t going to keep me safe.
I want to be more true to myself and to do what feels right, while also acting in a kind and loving manor towards others. In my darkest days, I judge others harshly, allow insecurity to take over, and make things personal unnecessarily. I know that my body, mind, and soul feel better when I'm regularly doing yoga and exercise. I want to feel like I am physically and mentally up for anything, whether it be fun or a challenge. "Think about what comes so easily to you, and spend more time in that zone."
The weight/health thing. ACTIVELY work at paring down for a "smaller" lifestyle. Clean up some bills. Advice I am working with: The "Just 2 Choices" aspect, in that what ever action I am taking, it is either a contribution to one side of the equation or the other. Every move I make either gets me toward the stated goal, or not.
Much like a lot of other people, I was diagnosed with anxiety and burnout from the pandemic. One very concrete piece of advice, that made all the difference: take a half day from work every once in a while. Just...leave for an afternoon. It's OK to do so. It reminds us that we are in control of our lives, even for a few hours.
Wow, this is pretty much like question 6! No advice given, but then, the person whose adviceI would most want died two years ago. I still hear his voice in my head, telling me, be good to yourself. Use your talents, you are very intelligent and compassionate. Don't be so self-absorbed-- not selfish orvself-centered, for you are not. You need to look out at the world and others. He would have said these things, and did, especially yhe part about being good to myself. I would also like to be less angry, more patient and tolerant, more giving, but some of this has to do with how I answered question 6.
I just turned 40 and feel liberated from the weight of other people's opinions about me and my decisions. I want to lean into this newfound freedom and relish it a bit. I'd also like to be a more present parent to my 10 year old son. There is a fleeting window of time left when he will be receptive to my guidance and my affection. I'd like to find a way to spend less time fighting with him about screen time, and more time engaging with him and his interests.
I would like to feel stability in my finances, family and social relationships, self care especially health related, in my spiritual existence, and in my mental state. Stability is something I have never before realized that I crave and desire!
I’d like to be more vulnerable with new people in the ways I’ve learned in therapy (so, not by blurting out my worst moments & secrets). I’d like to take this calm love of self and the curiosity for the world out into the world.
Don't fall back on old habits that didn't serve you because it's easy; forge ahead by doing hard things and they will gradually become easier. I would like to improve myself by learning a new, more fulfilling trade to have a true career and hopefully become entrepreneurial and break through the current ceiling on my earning potential.
I would like to have my A-1-C be lower this next year. I have started on a medication to help with that, but I will also be mindful of my eating and try to consume foods that feed me, rather than foods that harm me.
My health and fitness, personal well-being is of concern. I plan to be single for the remainder of my years and I want to be self sufficient. This requires my ability to be in good health and it must be achieved.
I get so much great advice that it gets lost in the babble of everyday life. Getting and keeping a better plan to move me forward on all the fronts that my life has. Each one deserving of attention and dedication. Only by being willing to stay focused on what is important in the moment and not all the twists and turns that I allow to distract me will I be able to achieve and become my best self.
In the next year, I'd like to have my life sorted out a bit more. The house done - there'll always be something to do, but the big things done and dusted would be good. The garden, the piles of stuff in the corners, to have his stuff out of there would be good too. I have received so much support and advice, and one of those is to take my time, be gentle and sit in whatever I'm feeling. Don't rush.
Realizing past traumas directly effect my ability to stay present and form relationships. I freeze when I have a flashback. I read an article and thought flashbacks were normal function of the brain. They are not!
I am sad that last year I didn't manage to fast as hoped. So this year am going to try fasting as a spiritual practice. Advice has been to take things slowly and at your own pace so am not going to feel guilty if it takes me a while.
I want to remember I'm doing pretty well, all things considered. I'm a widow, raising a child alone, while working full time and homeschooling.
I hold on to the advice to practice kindness. This coming year I'd like to do better at remembering to practice this virtue in all my interactions.
Ghaaaad! Years later, I still feel like I am walking so many of the same roads and circles. Will I ever learn? I have been meditating daily and I hope to continue this practice of mine. Feels integral. I also want to befriend working out, prepare meals more, and love love love my body body body finally finally finally more more more everything everything everything.
I would like to achieve a greater balance between inactivity (which some would call laziness) and achievement (be that finishing unpacking from our move 16 months ago, or actually tackling any of my "projects").
This year I often express gratitude and thanks. Even for the comfort of laying down in bed. Also when anything positive happens. I want to keep that up. I also still want to continue working on my health, cleaning my house, getting my finances together, and loving and being joyful.
I have made a small amount of progress in improving my physical and mental health, but would like to improve the pace of tackling those issues
I want to have more money saved up, be more financially secure.
Umm, "Don't get Covid"?
i can't think of advice that i received... people keep giving me law school advice but not life advice... i hope to keep in balance and not panicky about relationship stuff. it's so funny. i think love is dead and then i read people's anonymous posts here and they truly be like, "I never thought i would experience the BIG LOVE like this, i love my partner so much, they make me a better person, blah blah blah" and i can't help but want that, but also not trust it. i don't know. i truly struggle to see it happening for me-- partially because my ego is in the way, i think?? anyways. since last year i do think i've improved on phone usage. i don't sleep with my phone in my room, don't have FB/insta/twitter on my phone. overall am on it less except for when i am ON the APPS. which i am currently considering deleting. ok. i want to improve my life by becoming clearer on what i want (on a day to day basis, out of romantic and platonic relationships) and then acting on it! i am good at getting what i want when i know what that is, and i could do more work on knowing.
Slow down and enjoy the moments.
I want to continue improving my patience and developing a healthier relationship with anger. I think I need to remember that I don't control everything and that's okay, but I do control how I respond to frustration, anxiety, and disappointment.
I really need to learn how to calm myself down, stay present, and to choose happiness in each moment instead of being 3 steps ahead and trying to solve all the problems instead of being in the moment I am in.
Take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other.
just do your best. you can't fix your mistakes. learn from them, take steps to be better, and move on. put good into the world.
There's no simple answer to this question. I would like to make a million improvements in my life and in myself. I guess the single biggest one that should outweigh them all is to be able to accept myself as I am, where I am.
I would like to be truly kinder to my mother, and to continue to deepen my acceptance and celebration of no longer having my father in my life. I would like to deepen my understanding and practice of forgiveness, of myself, of others, of my husband, of the people who have truly wronged me. I would like to be more truly accepting of people as they are, and I would like to use that to make the lives of the people around me better, and the systems that we function in together better. I would like to release judging and comparisons and be grounded in true gratitude -- not aspirational gratitude, but the true feeling that spills over from an internal spring. I would like to proceed in love and let what falls away from that fall away with peace and understanding. I would like to keep saying "yes" to whatever offers itself to me. I would like to be radically daring, trust myself to get up when I'm ground down, and be undaunted in the face of resistance -- to turn that resistance toward the ultimate resistance, which is joy.
One thing I would like to improve this year is my health. I want to take better care of myself. I will do that by figuring out what is wrong with my stomach through going to a GI and getting a colonoscopy, eating healthier, and exercising more. I think one piece of advice I would give myself is to not settle for things that are uncomfortable. I was in pain most of last year but decided it was normal.
I need, need, need to get back into a regular exercise routine. It's not about losing weight, it's about being strong and preventing injury.
More history, less news. BWYFA - be where your feet are
I'd like to learn to not take it so personally when people are mean to me. I'd like to learn to pray more, and lean into that, instead of focusing on the pain.
I would like to find a solid routine for balancing work life and home life. Matt Bridge (Matt #3) reminds us often of the importance of maintaining a healthy home life outside of work. He will ask, "What fires you up? What are you passionate about?" A morning routine, before going to the office (across the hall) would be greatly beneficial. Ending the workday at 5pm (or perhaps even 6pm since I work with the Central Time Zone) is important also. It is difficult for me to shut down at the end of the day. Another essential area is physical health. This next year will be a turning point, and I need to take full advantage of the changes.
I've been told now by everyone and myself that I'm a people pleaser. This isn't always a terrible thing - admire yourself, be proud that you care for others, that you'll be there when those you love need you. That said, I can't go on making decisions just based on what other people want just because it's easier. Who do I want to date? What makes sense for the day I want to have? Believe it or not, there are people out there that are already pleased by you! They'd like you better if you liked yourself a bit more and might actually like what you want to say - you need to find out what that is though please (I'm glad I didn't start a vlog)
Always the same: lose weight.
*breaths* exercising, at all, minimal, like stretching, as i know it makes me feel better not be entirely consumed by TDI again try to be better about talking to partners and friends get back into visiting friends I don't know, just not be so broken and sick and busy
I want to be more authentic in dealing with life, being a greater friend to my darkness and dark sides, ultimately becoming more whole and loving
I would like to improve myself by improving my marriage. I’d like to deepen my friendship, my honesty, my support and my intimacy with Holly. My therapist, Alex Dowd suggested the book, “The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work.” Holly seems ready and open to work with me on improving our relationship and we’ve already done part of the first exercise, Enhance our Love Maps
Well the answer to this is the same as the one above. I hope to improve my life by moving to either Rome or Melbourne and ideally being happily married. The best advice I've gotten this year came just a few days ago at the Mai Khao Resort. When I asked a lady who had been here a few days about eating the fruit and drinking the juice she said she's had no problems and her parting words to me were simply "Worry less." I decided to make that my mantra and hopefully I will remember that through the year.
Next year, I want to get friends I like. Recently, when I told my friend Gabe I didn't have any friends, he told me he knew "EXACTLY why." I asked why. He said: "I will make friends with bozos and then be unhappy. But YOU... don't give a FUCK. You'll only make friends with people you actually like." And I realized... Oh, yeah! I do do that. So, this year, I'm going to do a lot of intentional friend-making. I'm going to keep up the exhausting work of asking people to hang out until I have at least a few amazing friends that I love.
What I declared last year, with this addition: be more contained and disciplined in my reflection. I tend to debrief situations with people close to me, and that clearly isn't working. So i want to put in a practice of telling those stories to a designated person or through art or journalling. "Still working on the communication thing. I aim to continue to improve by moderating myself to be less reactive and habitually strident - being mindful that one of the things that causes and reinforces polarisation is coming across as righteous and convinced. If I want to be truly of service, I need to be considered in expressing myself. Calm, neutral, faster on my feet , non-judgmental yet still authentic."
I’ve been working at changing my outlook to be more positive and open. Optimism doesn’t come naturally but I’ve made progress. I’d like to continue to work to changing my outlook. I’d like to continue to push myself to get out there, to meet new people, to say yes to trying something new instead of immediately shutting down the idea, to saying no if it’s something I’m guilted into doing. There isn’t a specific piece of advice but recognizing that time is passing and that being negative doesn’t always get me the desired outcome, I think of Marie Kondo and getting rid of things (in this case an outlook) that doesn’t spark joy.
This year I want to make more conscious choices about spending time with my kiddo on weekends and during the school holidays. Currently, we tend to get busy so easily and then crash and have to spend a weekend on the couch to recover, so I want to find a more sustainable way for us to get out of the house and go Do things like tree adventures, and bush walks around the region.
My advice to myself: be more gentle to yourself, loving and forgiving, every day. Allow yourself to be the great and special person you are
I want to continue improving my health and lose weight. Hopefully that will continue to minimize my chronic pain, and allow me to be more active.
- more financial security - have navigated some of the bigger questions I’m grappling with now (career, city I’ll be living in etc) - up skilling as a producer/engineer - commitment to my practices (yoga, parts work, meditation) - calling in an aligned romantic partner and future husband.
Relax. It’s going to work out. Just don’t miss out on how magical the present is. I have my whole family, my health, and a company I created.
I would like to be able to map out the future of my career. Now that tenure is behind me, I'd like to know how to move forward with impactful research while still being able to balance my commitments with my family (or maybe it's the other way around, I need to figure out how to work more effectively so I don't feel as badly about putting opportunities aside). I need to be able to set longer and shorter term goals for myself so that by next year, I'm on track with them.
I fell that I am on a reasonable track with my life. I want to continue to work on becoming more comfortable with aging. Too often I tend to compare myself against who I was 20 or 30 years ago or with younger adults. I have to be proactive in reminding myself that for a person in their mid-70s i am quite healthy, fit, and fortunate to have good mentation.
It's always more exercise. I am someone who exercises to live. As I get older, exercise matters to maintaining health. But I don't love it any more than I ever have.
Trying to be much slower to anger, would like to reduce the anger I carry but acting better is easier than making a change to something like my anger.
I'm just starting to learn how to feel sadness when it arises. I would like to explore that fully... and whatever else comes up in my various spiritual studies this year.
I need to get a handle on straightening up my house. I need to get rid of things. I have too much stuff. I need to clean house. I'm not going to Marie Kondo it, but an intense and cut throat weeding is needed. I've had a junk room of boxes that I haven't gone through since I moved it 6 years ago. How much could I really need in there?
I want to get more confident in myself as a leader. I know that I can do good in the world - at school and in the union - and I need the time and capacity to do that, but more important I need to believe that I am capable.
I would like to find a schedule that works for me and my family. I would like to be mindful of not overextending myself at work, and setting healthy boundaries from the beginning.
I’d like to continue to choose myself as the priority in my own life. This is new, and a work in progress, but I am trying to keep this goal in mind as I make choices throughout this next year.
As I heard from the Rabbi during the Rosh Hashanah sermon this year, we can show pride in being Jewish in many ways. I intend to be more mindful of my Jewish heritage and how I express my Jewish identity.
In reviewing my Step 9 with my sponsor Maureen, it became evident that I need to make living amends to myself. I started on this day, Sat. October 1, 2022 and will continue with curiosity as my shortcomings arise. I will "feel my feelz", be compassionate and write about it all as my chosen method of healing.
Meditate for 5 min a day again
My time is mine. I choose who gets the focus of my energy.
Listening to Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg on Chutzpod! this Shabbat, I realized that I have a LOT of room for improvement when it comes to being my mother's primary caregiver. I've already done t'shuvah with her for a repeated harm from this past year, and I'll be following through on that for next year!
Improving my ability to accept and be at peace with what is would be a good thing. Professionally, it would also be good if I could learn to use Python. I sold also get advice, maybe hire a fitness trainer, on how to adjust my fitness routine for my age.
Stay emotionally and physically strong - reduce drinking - eat when hungry and not just when futsy
I’m still working on being more present for people, but I like to think I’m making good strides. We did take that Utah vacation as a family, which was wonderful. I’ve been reading more, and want to continue that, plus travel is always on my list.
To achieve, you must begin by taking at least 1 step forward. For better mental health, focus on what you can control in the moment.
My piece of advice or council is this: ONE THING AT A TIME. Seriously. I am sick a lot of the time and I have too many things going on a lot of the time. So I need to take it one thing at a time. Stay in this moment and do just this one thing right now. When it is done, then and only then do I go on to the next thing. And, as Solomon did after each prayer on the second day of Rosh Hashanah this year, stop after each thing for just a few moments to let it settle and see how it affects you. There's absolutely no point in doing anything if you are not going to experience it.
I don’t know, because I don’t know what will happen around me in the coming year that will require this kind of work and alter the course of what I think my goals are right now.
I would like to be present in whatever I’m doing; acknowledge people when they communicate, but not worry about meeting their expectations immediately; worry less about money; be happy and content most of the time; and most importantly, maintain control of my reactions in any situation. Remaining calm even when disappointed or annoyed in presence of others. 1 piece of advice that might help me is as follows: Accept that I can only control what I think, say and do. I cannot control how others think or behave. It also would be helpful to acknowledge that no matter how bad things get, I have never not been successful at anything I truly want to achieve.
Maybe, I should listen more, but I don't have a specific quote to report. We tend to feel like we are good people, that we are not selfish, that we use rational thought to get to our opinions, but we know we are biased. I usually need to have more compassion, try to understand the other person's perspective. A problem for me is how to suggest improvements and not to be seen as critical.
Always can get better at time management. Sometimes I let things slide and then have to play catch up. Still haven't figured out how to stay motivated all the time...but then again, work/life balance is so important to maintain.
I would like to achieve something tangible in my work and feel satisfaction and achievement as a positive thing. A piece of advice I received from my husband is to not personalize too much when it comes to work -- when things don't go well, it is not a personal failing, necessarily. I would like to waste less time (internet surfing) and spend more time on productive pursuits (writing, reading, being outdoors).
I would like to have a truly habitual creative practice where I write, draw and/or do something else that engages the other half of my brain at least a few times a week.
Either you will know when it is time to do something different, or you won't know in time and it won't really matter. I want to cram so much into my retirement years, but I need to remember a. that kindness is the most important thing b. our time is finite and what we can accomplish is finite c. you can't take it with you.
Not sure if this fits here, but a close friend who is my age attempted to go back to school. I was filled with admiration for her. After 2 weeks, she realized that the work involved was too much, and she quit. She is very comfortable with both having tried and then deciding to not continue. I am still filled with admiration for her. Her example of trying something new; and her example of self-awareness when it didn't work out; are both things I want to remember.
Rabbi Till on Erev Rosh Hashana spoke of Noah's being "slow to anger" and that was why G-d chose to save him. I'm going to work on that -- becoming more slow to anger, less volatile, more patient, more compassionate, more willing to stop and breathe before reacting. That would be good, both for me and for those around me.
Yes, my cousin Scott made me stop and reevaluate where I am in my life, and to think more seriously about my retirement and my financial situation. He mentioned New York City is an expensive place to live and suggested I might consider other places to live that are less costly. This conversation started about a month or two ago. I know he has my best interest at heart. I am learning how to take better care of myself, making my well-being both financially, emotionally and psychologically a priority. Praying God will show me the right path and help me find trusted friends or people to talk to and help me make the necessary changes in my life, not with dread rather with Joy and Hope.
Just eat more fruits and vegetables. It really and truly makes all the difference.
I need to keep issues quiet and not passively/aggressively discuss them, even without giving specific details. It is not fair to the other people involved.
Less is more: I'm going to move into a smaller (and small) flat, and I will have to let go a lot of what I "own". I hope to be able to sort the necessary and to let go of what I can do without. It will be interesting to see how my life will change as a result. I'm not sure I can ever become a minimalist, but I can certainly improve on my desire to be surrounded by wonderful objects.
Mom's "first things first". Start with "me" and "us" first. I would like to waste less morning time on FB and news apps. I'd like to read more. Actually look at to-do lists rather than whatever comess to mind, which leaves important work undone until last minute. The questions is, how do I do this?
I would like to buy a home with my 7yr old son Cadence . I've grew up poor and have worked hard to finally get myself into an income bracket that's not just making ends meet. The housing market is so bad right now but the house we've been living in for that last 10yrs just went on the market. Either we'll buy it or someone else will. Either way, it's a major life disruptor and one that I feel ready to face. I want to start being better about finances in general and not spending so much money on useless stuff.
Only connect.
I would like to get better at making new friends. This has always been something I've struggled with, but it feels more necessary as I plan to start my adult life and establish a community for myself. The advice I plan to follow is to join groups focused on activities that I'm interested in as a way of meeting people. I can also work on simply walking up to people and starting a conversation. I've gotten better at keeping friends and at understanding what that entails, which should help me as well. I'm not sure how much progress I'll have made on this in the next year, but I'll be starting to use it more intentionally in a bit less than a year.
To be kinder to myself
Exercise more. Go to sleep earlier. Get a girlfriend/lover/companion. I don't think I'll ever be content with tiny accomplishments of regular daily activities, but people keep telling me I should give myself credit when I do things like do the laundry, keep track of mom's finances, pay bills, etc.
I would like to greatly improve as a husband. The best advice I’ve been given is to listen, both to her and to the voice deep inside me.
I always feel resentful when I reach this question. I am 70 years old, and I am happy with myself and my life overall. As I answered in the previous question, I hope to remain happy and healthy, but don't feel a need to "improve" myself and my life.
I would like to find and settle on a synagogue that would meet my social and spiritual needs. I wish I had received some helpful counsel or advice.
I’d like to worry less. I’m getting there and have made progress but still taking medication and wonder if there’s ever going to be a day where I can stop taking it. If not, that’s okay too. I don’t have shame over taking anxiety medication but either way would like to have made additional progress towards worrying less about other people, about things that just don’t matter as much, etc. The ultimate moto continues to be “Give Fewer Fucks” and it becomes easier with age and wisdom.
I want my mental health to feel better. I have been so anxious for these past few weeks/longer. It's been better since I upped my meds, but I want to see what this move will mean for my mental health.
Go for it, do not back down, do not shy away from issues, and speak with clarity and conviction when it comes to my vision.
Lose some weight. It will make maintaining my blood pressure easier. Need to follow more of the DASH diet to lower salt, too.
When I feel like scrolling or checking out, instead check-in: what are my body's unmet needs? Do I need a nap, movement, early bed, water, snack? Commit myself to action. As Dr Suzuki says, "If you want to do something, do it"
I'd like to continue reading books that teach me something about our common humanity and history that I can usually put into practice on a daily basis. A piece of advice I particularly like is - remember, everybody has a story.
I would like to lose more weight, for one. As far as my personal life, I hope to find someone to want to spend time with me. I have not received counsel or advice, I really thought I was doing good, but now I am not so sure.
I have made some friends now and I'm so grateful for it. Over the next year I want to focus on strengthening those connection and, as noted in my previous question, want to start focusing on being a little more active.
I'd like to have more meaningful connections to other people, and to nurture my relationships in a more conscious way. This includes all kinds of relationships: colleagues, friends and significant others.
I would like to declutter a lot of stuff.
I would like to continue to put my ego aside and really notice what's going on around me.
I will lose some weight, continue spiritual growth, adapt to having a cat in the house again, and de-clutter some more. My best example would be the Late Queen Elizabeth whose life was a life of dedication.
I will continue to work on being present, finding joy and wonder in every day. I just learned this morning of a friend of mine having been ill for well over a year, losing part of his memory, speech and mobility. He is still loving, caring, kind, gregarious, silly and generous; I see it through his disease. I will live this next year and all of my life with conscious joy and love for myself and others. We never know when and where life takes us next.
Continue to exercise every day. The advice from my primary health care provider is: "Use it or lose it." Seems like good advice, always.
I still need to worry less and allow myself to be happier as I am without comparing myself to others.
Improve health Reduce meds Walk easily Hold my camera snd guitar
I want to reinhabit my life. I want to have answers when people ask who I am and what interests me. I want to feel compelling and interesting. I want to be a person first instead of a person in relation to others first.
Beth's counseled me a lot this year on the importance of speaking well of myself. I tend to talk down and belittle myself, which serves no one. I've done some remarkable things in my life: I've contributed to several books. I've lectured at multiple universities. I've changed the lives of multiple people through my work as a nurse, a case manager, and an educator. I am extremely well versed on a number of critical health and social equity issues and my expertise is sought out. I should honor my investment in myself, my knowledge, my kindness, and the ways that simply being myself has made the world better.
Go to bed earlier and sleep more - for my short- and long-term wellbeing.
More kindness of course. And maybe simply acceptance. I don't suck. I am doing good things in the community - it's never enough but it's something. So maybe I should stop beating myself up.
I would like to keep the momentum going from last year with managing my time more efficiently. I learned a technique to graphically visualize how I spend my time, and it turns out that there is a lot of time that I don't use for things I may otherwise complain about. It helped me better parse out my time without getting anxious about it. Just this simple activity has helped in my personal and professional life, and I would like to continue exploring it.
I think my word for this year is SLOW. Or maybe STOP. I love what Sister True Dedication wrote in Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet: "Stopping must be the action of heroes." More stopping. More going slow. Less phone time. Fewer hours lost to busy-ness.
I keep thinking about the insight from last week's RH sermon, which got me thinking about gaining clarity as a path toward change. That has helped me over the last year, and I want to build on that -- to get better at stopping to consider and contextualize rather than acting on instinct or habit.
Last year I stated I wanted to improve my connections with others. This remains a goal. My relationships with people around me are good but I want to cultivate closer more meaningful connections. This year I really made a big leap in my marriage. I want to keep it going. I was listening to a podcast VBW on the subject of self worth and gratitude. Everyone wants to be accepted and loved. This year I did that much more than ever and we had a wonderful time. I was always worried about losing my job and not having a safety net with E but letting go of that fear means that I can appreciate all of the great parts of our lives together and accept this as meaningful. I also want to improve my relationships with my parents and brother, sister-in-law and nephew. I really want to make the time to see everyone. The next step would be to continue to build relationships in Rotary, Exchange or other sorts of friendships. L would be a good start. Make time to hang out with her. But of course this is very difficult due to time and I am not sure that I want to actually do it, because that time might have to come from somewhere else. Be open to developing some connections beyond family. At the same time I want to work on meaningful connections, I also want to work on reducing my attachments to things. I am trying to get rid of or give away five things per week until I have nothing superfluous. That was one things that was most significant about the pandemic. Realizing that I needed little to be happy...I want to try to live that a bit more.
Focus on what I can control, stay connected to my purpose, love generously without bracing for abandonment. Trust the universe more.
I’m trying to get back into shape. So I’d like to continue the progress I’ve made with the gym. Right now I have been building muscle, but I’d still have further to go and I hope to lose some weight too.
I think that I know what I want to improve and develop, but it's a matter of helping myself to develop further and really take that action. I am already using GTD more than I was, and having financial stress relieved is, I think, going to assist me with weight loss. I want to overall feel *better*.
I want to focus on being ‘strong’ emotionally for myself and others in the face of adversity. I will be 71 soon and my mom will turn 101. Will she pass this year? When that happens, can I be a bedrock for my brother and my kids? And still deal with her loss myself? Can I be helpful to my husband who seems to be heading toward some cognitive impairment? Can I be up for the job of caretaker if I’m needed? Can I still be a loving accepting grandmother to my grandchildren? It’s easy to celebrate all our good fortune but I hope I will be up for facing the hardships. Advice- focus on any positive and deal with adversity one step at a time. Take it slow and easy. And try to take some time for myself and give myself some love.
Hmm... Rather than making a long-term plan (next 5-10 years), try short-term plans. From how the startup at my working place breakdown big vision into small things that can be achieved in one sprint, which is roughly a week. I think it'll help me get started too. Instead of being paralyzed by an endless loop of planning and perfecting it (and you know that perfection is something impossible to attain but good to pursue), it's better to think "I'll try to do it in, like, 1 week. Then let's reflect on what happened. Did it bring me closer to my vision? If not what's going wrong and what can be improved? In a way, it's giving me a sense of achievement from at least trying. I consider it much healthier rather than long-term planning which makes me focus more on the fear of making mistakes and failure. You won't really know until you try. And in the end, most things can change depending on who, how, and when you do it. No one has it all figured out. We can predict, but most of the time, it's not a guarantee. Thus, I need to trust myself more and not be afraid to try, make mistakes, own them, and learn from them :> And yes, most of the time, most things are scarier before you try them. Have a vision, embrace the uncertainty, and move forward. I think that's how I want to improve myself and my life in the next year.
Piggy backing on the last question, people keep telling me to retire. I may just listen to them once I figure it out. The other way I can help myself is to exercise more.
I would like to spend less time on my phone this year. I’d like to more fully face my fear of dying and what is happening around me. I’d like to live more in the present and resolve some ambivalence that keeps me from moving forward.
Get in shape. Continue my weight loss goal. Advice? Nothing good happens in a hurry.
This past year I worked on holding my work more lightly with the “aim for average” mantra. That was helpful. This year I am at 80% and have a different mix of work that I hope will be less stressful. My new mantra is “I am enough”. I want to really trust that and see what happens. The team is functioning better, and I’m proud of that improvement from last year. On the personal front I want to be more present at home with Chris. A perennial goal is to spend more time with Lincoln and Harrison. Now that I don’t teach on Fridays, I can see a way to make that happen.
Wait before you speak has worked wonders recently.
I would like to complete the organization of my digital world to allow for being more focused, efficient with my time and my potent as an individual. I envision having a system in which I can make notes that I can refer to which are useful and integrate into a system that I've crafted with guidelines that help me remember who I am, and what I am here to do and accomplish. Then beneath that framework, have a clear outline for how to get where I want to go. Advice? Waste less time on the computer. Instead make the time count as I'm not getting any younger. Do not get stuck living in a city, either. I can't become who I want to become here.
What I say, what I post online, and what I share with others in whatever other way, are all a reflection of me. Therefore, I want to share my authentic self. I sometimes post on social media things that I think others would like. That is not what will serve me best. What would serve me best if I write or share what is important to me and something that has meaning to me. THAT is being authentic.
I would like to stop sacrificing so much for others and to live my life the way I want to. Most of my day isn't monitored, but I feel like I have to justify everything I do to my family and even my friends. I only have one life and the people who love me will support me honoring myself.
I'd like to be more relaxed overall, and have better relaxed focused concentration during work hours. Easy does it, but do it.
I have been home for a long time recovering from a back injury. I would like to be able to get out more to do things, see people, and be able to drive the car.
Take control of your time. Visit the oak tree in your backyard.
I'd like to drink less, and do more book reading (not audible since I have macular degeneration, and want to use the eyes as much as I can NOW!). Also, want to continue to make exercise and spin class a priority...walk out the door toward it! And walk every day!
Setting boundaries that prioritize my health and my family. I’m starting that process. I think all of that “quiet quitting” has become my how-to guide.
Much more self care and being more reflective. Also regulating myself to handle Asher better!
I've had a rough year. Good things for sure have happened and I try hard to remind myself of that every day. But I have had challenges that got the best of me that probably shouldn't have, but I went into this space (does this happen to everyone?) where I'm like . . . blind to what is happening in the present. It's like my self awareness goes dark, and then I come out of it and look around and go WTF!! Last August, I hurt my rotator cuff again, then in November I remember shifting to this space of i don't give a fuck and I ate my way through the holidays. Then I got Covid in January and I couldn't breath for two + months. I gained upwards of 15 lbs, unbelievably, in that short span of time while I lay here dormant. Covid didn't impact my appetite. My heart was impacted as well, and I've had problems with PVCs and all of the work ups to make sure my heart wasn't really damaged. It wasn't, but all of this has really taken me back many steps in trying to be more healthy in my 50s. I also went on an estrogen patch (and truly this could have been the real bad actor in the whole thing, I just don't know). I have a good career, good relationship with my boys, a home, a BF, my parents are healthy, my brother isn't drinking, had lots of fun things going on this summer and great friendships. But I just tried on several pairs of pants I got at VV that are a size I haven't been in a long time, and two of the four didn't even fit. I hate that this is impacting me so much, that I am so taken down by this . . . but I FUCKING AM. My body hurts as well . . . aches all over, from my feed to my jaw, but especially my feet and knees and hips and SHOULDERS. So. My thing I'd like to improve my life, obviously, is to turn this ship around. I know I can. It's going to be harder than ever before, but it's higher stakes as I get older and want to be a functioning person in my later years.
What a great question. I have been very focused on improving myself recently and I'm looking forward to continuing this process. I think there are two main ways that I want to improve myself and my life over the next year. 1) I want to get more comfortable doing things spontaneously or things that are generally out of my comfort zone. I often enjoy the little high I get when I do something spontaneous, but I don't let myself do this enough and come up with excuses. Instead, I'd like to lean into being spontaneous. 2) I want to continue my journey into leading a healthier lifestyle. I will do this by cooking more food at home and learning new recipes and using new ingredients. I will also commit to sticking to the workout routine that I've created for myself. I have found that I enjoy being active and I enjoy fresh new foods. Putting both of these together and reminding myself that I like these things will help me to stay on track to being the healthiest I can be.
I fee that my acceptance and patience for things I cannot change is improving. My advice is to reframe negative situations and essentially, to make good lemonade out of lemons!
I really love the podcasts from Get The Hell Out of Debt by Erin Skye Kelly. I'm following her advice and getting serious about budgeting. The podcasts are easy to listen to on my long drives for work.
I soooooo wanna let the shizz go. The unnecessary focus on earthly things. The anxiety and foolishness of being mired in the moment and not fully present in the moment. The advice and counsel received this year is that...what I said up there. Be mindful. Not distracted.
Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend, a kinder, gentler, more compassionate approach to self
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Speak clearly. Get people’s attention when you want to tell them something and then don’t shy away from saying exactly what you mean, what you need, what you want. I’m setting the goal for this year to be a better communicator, and by better I mean more clear and more assertive. As I have started doing this, and I have shared this goal with my family, colleagues, friends, I have discovered even more ways that not doing it has impacted me over the years - in ways that I did not even realize. I hope that these first tentative steps I am taking in the direction of owning my own desires continues to grow. And I’m curious what I will discover as it does.
Reading more is still on the list. Re-learning German. Re-commit to more walking/body. I think the advice/counsel is always to not take things too seriously. I need to worry less. Drive out fear.
I have one main focus for next year 🧘🏼♀️ 🧘♂️ 🧘. I would like to work on my foundation. I want a stronger foundation so that I am less affected by daily events. I will achieve this through meditation, connecting with nature, implementing slower ways of moving like walking, yoga and stretching. The book ‘the practice of groundedness’ is one big amazing advice that I want to use as a guide in the next year. Another important element came from my psychologist who pointed out that I always look for ‘something/the next thing’ outside of myself. I will not find it there. I have to look inside myself. And that is what I will do in the next year.
Next year I want to have a job that I feel good about doing, with a group or company that I can be proud of. I want to be *able* to live on my own, regardless of whether or not I do. I want up be bold in my decisions and interactions, not making decisions, nor freezing, out of fear.
I would like to have a 365-day streak going in Duolingo; I’d like to knit something (which probably means taking a class; I’d like to volunteer more, and right now it seems like I have something started at CABI (occasional stints on an as-needed basis). Also, as long as I’m reaching, I’d like to be more organized and finish my “this is our life” paperwork so my side of things is not like Sister’s was when she died last year. I also like what I said last year about being accountable to myself and my people, more tolerant and more forgiving. As to advice: Be kind to myself; forgive myself and be tolerant of my foibles.
I would like to improve myself by becoming a better teacher. Having more tools to connect with and engage students and to take this into my work as a counselor and a trip guide. This includes preparedness and timeliness and working to reduce procrastination. I would like to grow in bravery, clarity and ambition in regard to my future and my career. I would like to become less suspicious of the intentions of others and give more benefit of the doubt. I would like to guard my resources less closely and be more generous. be less concerned about being taken for a fool. to grow into a stronger and more disciplined runner. to continue to grow more open to love.
I want to do a bit more exercise and eat better, aiming to drop a few pounds (though it’s more about that being a measure for adopting a healthier lifestyle). Advice-wise, “perfect is the enemy of done” comes to mind. Which would apply better in many other scenarios, but even here it reminds me that I’m not a failure for not adhering perfectly; it’s more important to keep trying and to do something. There will never be perfect conditions for ideal living, so I should do my best under any circumstances
One thing I've learned over the past year is that I'm comfortable with the intellectual / analytical but not the emotional space. I think that's a defense mechanism from the pain that my mother's death caused when I was younger: I threw myself into work instead of healing emotional wounds. While I've always thought that that ambition and hyper-drive was something to celebrate, it's occurring to me now that it might actually be a way from hiding from painful feelings. Likewise, the intellect that's served me over the years might also be preventing me from feeling things, being in the moment, and even from making the right decisions for myself. I guess the punchline is that I'd like to see myself continuing to make progress with my therapy (even psychedelic assisted) and learning how to feel more connected to my emotions / feelings. I think the end result is that I'll not only be living a more fulfilling life but it'll lead me to more success because I won't be undermining myself.
I'd like to give up my past, and move. on to enjoy the present. I've had fun in the past, but I can't relive it, so let's take a smile from that time, and see what the future holds.
I would like to improve with relationship with my partner. While we've had hard times previously, this past eight months with a new baby has been the most stressful on our relationship. Making some changes within that realm would make me feel much better in my own skin and on the day to day. The advice that comes to mind really is that every thing is a phase and the moment you've concurred it, it has changed completely. And of course it's in reference to babies/kids, but I think it rings true of much more.
I would like to have a more balanced life. I’m really overwhelmed, and I barely have the energy to do what I feel is the minimum. All my energy goes to the baby, with a little left for Bobby, and not much for myself. We don’t have family here to help, so I think I need to hire some help or figure something else out. I’ve been advised by various people to put him in day care a couple times a week or hire a babysitter/nanny. It just all seems so expensive and I keep assuring myself I can do this without the help.
Next year... Life feels very circumscribed since the pandemic, but sometimes that feels appropriate and even right. Obviously there are the fitness issues -- so many ways in which I could improve my physical fitness -- which would then guide me toward improving myself and my life. I think I would feel generally better if I were stronger and I know I would feel better if I wasn't spending every evening in some version of an altered state of consciousness-- if only it were so cut and dried. This is good and that is bad. In any case, I know specifics that would "improve me and my life" and they are the usual about (1)fitness and wanting (2)some kind of success with my writing. I vacillate between feeling happy with the enormously practical way I've gone about enjoying my circumstances even though I know those circumstances represent failures of one kind or another. I still don't know if there's a proper, productive, helpful way to feel about any of it. I do know that I haven't really received counsel from anyone about this, or specific advice that has changed how I feel in a log time.
I’d like to be less insecure and less fearful. More satisfied with myself and more accepting of the world as it is.
I'd like to be more calm especially at work. I let things get to me when I know I shouldn't. I also tend to rely on orher people to help me at work when I should try harder to do more on my own. I want to complain less and really think more before I speak-ask myself if what I say is going to build up and not tear down. I want to be a better example for my son.
In the next year, I want to continue on the path toward healthier living that I've been on the past few years. I feel like I'm kind of slipping some and want to catch myself now and get back to the good habits I've picked up. I miss the strength classes and would like to find a way to add those back in. I don't know that there's any great piece of advice I've gotten this year? You know...I feel like I'd gotten close to being more comfortable in my skin pre-covid, and have lost a lot of that, I think. Some of the things we're told at dance classes about loving our bodies, that's probably something I should pay closer attention to into this year.
I'd like to become more accepting of my life as it is, rather than fighting against the parts of my life I wish were different.
I would like to have a BMI that's not obese.
A friend who is grieving deals with his sorrow partly by posting about how he chooses to “live forward.” That doesn’t mean he ignores the past or buries his feelings. It means he chooses, every day, to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward instead of letting himself be caught by inertia. I’m not currently grieving anything newer than a 10-year-old loss, but I’m trying to use his “live forward” tactic to improve both my physical strength and my general emotional/mental resilience. The pandemic/politics/social upheaval of the past several years has worn me down. I feel like I aged double-time. I’m determined to overcome it make up for lost time.
I want to be less stressed in life. Give less fucks about things that don't matter - like work - and give more fucks about things that do matter like my mental and physical health. Take care of the mind and body first.
I would like to get paid to pursue my passions. Throw myself into this shit like I mean it.
Counsel from my wife, she told me and reinforces, slow is fast. It has definitely helped me a lot in the workplace this past year.
Do everything to get back to shul, be my self, try to help more
Almost every day this year I have been writing the words: Calm Stillness Talk Less Listen More. I will continue to contemplate these words and sink more consciously into the Wonder of Life.
Be more compassionate. The non violent communication course was very helpful.
I would like to normalize feeling in sync with the universe. I became acquainted with the teachings of Abraham Hicks in the past year. I have found it to be profoundly effective in having the life that I want. It means I have to be way more intentional in how I think about life and my part in it.
I am trying to think about GRAPES (Gentle on yourself, Relaxation, Accomplishment, Pleasure, Exercise, Social. I am doing okay on Gentle on myself, Accomplishment and Exercise - but I lack in Pleasure, relaxation and social and this is manifesting itself in stress and ocular migraines. I NEED TO CHANGE. I am starting with the little things - when I go walk with friends, I am NOT going shopping after. I am saying yes to more social events - and looking at finding time to READ. And of course, find the time to get massages to relieve the stress. In some respects - after 2.5 years of isolation - I want to start to enjoy life again.
"Your writing is outstanding...please send me the full manuscript." You're a real writer. Writing is your career, not your hobby. You can get a fabulous literary agent who gets you and your work. You are completely capable of toggling back and forth between mom brain and writer brain. You can let writing be fun again.
I'd like to be more hopeful, instead of focussing on where I could have been, focussing on what I have, what I have done, and what I can do.
advice: we are a mothering species. we weave a net of support. we root/source from the flow of life... not from "my one biological mother." mothering is a societal task that weaves a net of support. it's not a role. it's an orientation. we are all at times, naturally mothering. so next year, i am centering in the truth of belonging, flowing together with all of life.
Improvement. Achievement. This way of thinking and ‘becoming’ can be a trap. The best advice I received in the past year is that I can always pull over and stop. This can be applied to all aspects of life that require our attention, on or off the road.
I would like to learn to be better at my current job and then increase my pay by 30k or 40k before I turn 52. I think this is realistic but also not sure how to do this. If it means finding a new job or somehow doing something so amazing that it entitles me to a larger increase in pay. I make 53k now and am increase like that would mean within 2 years I would get 15-20k increases per year and most people get maybe 3% ? Idk I’ve never gotten a raise like that within a company or institution. So maybe I’m being unrealistic but for all my education an experience and hours of work for the past 20 years I don’t think it’s entirely unreasonable. This would improve my life. I have gotten no advice to counsel me on this. Only that I know others like my former director and those in my field who are younger and had less experience than me and made thousands more than me. My brother and sister as well. I don’t know anyone with my education and experience that makes less money than me. This must absolutely without a doubt change.
Advice: from King Richard (the movie) “Don’t brag, don’t be boastful.” Simple, but we must constantly be reminded of the follies in the human character. As our family grows and we grow older it’s no mistake that we gain knowledge, wisdom, status and means. This is NOT because we “worked so hard” or “deserve it.” for the most part. Be humble next year as you accomplish more.
I'd like to be healthier, I've gained about 20 lbs. due to work stress, I'd like my weight to be less dependent on how much stress I'm under.
I want to get into an arrangement that my Partner declares if he is not wanting to eat and in reasonable time. (His appetite has become erratic since he had Covid and I find it very unsettling not eating a shared meal.) I want to watch more pleasant tv or Netflix. I must realise that there is nothing morally wrong with enjoying a film, a serial, or a tv programme.
Read a bit about being my true self and following my path and not someone else's path. I want to really live that this year.
Last year, I was concerned that my lack of resilience and confidence might cost me a G6 post. A year on, I think this came to pass.....however I have worked on a few things and now don't consider a G6 position as a measure of success anymore. I consider other things more important in terms of success: being a present and positive partner, father and friend; losing the weight I want, so I can look into the mirror and feel confident with what I see looking back at me; learning about finance and sustainability through the ACCA course I have enrolled in, and be able to apply this learning to my work when I return; and spend these next 7 months recharging and make the most of it
I need to be more assertive with family members so I don't end up being a doormat, with anger simmering, and then exploding with fury when it all gets to be too much.
This past year I was given some instructions of who I am and what I need to work on according to my birth date. It stated that I need to determine what I desire versus commitment. It was hard for me to understand that, but its coming slowly to me. Is desire a short term craving and commitment a long term craving? Does it involve relationships with people or material things? This is what I want to answer with specifics and also actions.
Physical health, achieving and maintaining my ideal weight and body fat percentage. Improving my stamina, especially on stairs and hills. Mental health, happy with my life. Spiritual health, improving my Buddhist practice
I want to keep growing my business and become a bad ass small business owner. My good friend, Liat, gave me advice this year to grow my business. She said, “enough, it’s time to stop playing small,”and that really connected with me.
Dont be too hard on yourself. Change is hard. But…simultaneously, life is short, this could be it, at any point if you want to make a change you gotta make moves and not procrastinate too much. As far as specific piece advice, Ben told me not to be cheap. I’m in a different place in life. I can afford to make my life a little easier and not have to always save a buck; especially as it pisses maya off. But also things like the air BnB rental may just not be worth it. I need to prioritize better this year and listen to Maya and not be as stubborn.
Leaps of faith come from a place of trust.
I would like to visit my 5 children more Often. I want to find love again. I have been with the wrong man for 7 years. We have nothing in common. I am nit myself around him. Be your self , ask the Universe to send you what you have been missing all this time.
Yeah, well none of that happened… I think the best I can do is try to be more compassionate, more open to God, unless self critical.
I need to get better at time management and plan my days better. It's hard to do with a dynamic disability but that is all the more reason to do it. I don't have as much time in the day as others do and I need to take that into account. The piece of advice that could guide me was given by a close friend who told me to acknowledge the power of saying "no" because I have a habit of saying yes to more things than I can do, and it is exhausting trying to get them all done.
I would liked to read more, and even write less, so as to gain more time for reflection, and, deeper dialogue with Lynn, my sons, and a few friends of worthy exchange. As well. I would like to pass along hundreds of books and related stuff that deserve a good new home for - one that will value them.
I would like to have a happier marriage. I would like to become less critical in my thoughts. I would like to share more joy. Find something each day that you can be grateful for.
I would like to learn to live with less. Yes, of course, as always, get rid of excess shit, but also, just pare down in and out. Be content with simple, with less. Enjoy what we have already - appreciate the neighborhood - and the neighbors. Appreciate the park, the beach. Love my clothes and not keep wanting more more more. Simplify, simplify, simply. I don't want to go live in the woods, but that guy was onto something!
More - run, sleep, cook meals, play guitar, learn a language, learn games. When it is time to go, go. You'll have regrets, but you got to pick your spot rather than have someone pick it for you.
I have several goals for the coming year: 1. Improve my physical strength, flexibility and resilience so that I am less prone to injury. 2. Continue to learn about theatre while still participating in theatre. However, I think I need to slow it down so I am not so tired. I want to enjoy learning and by slowing down, not only will I enjoy it more but I will be able to learn better. 3. I would like to continue to participate in theatre and become a better actor. Yes, I know YOLO. But sometimes you have to slow down to see the scenery along the way!
I do not have any specific plans or ideas for improving myself or my life over the next year. I always want to learn new things; I love podcasts, documentaries, training for continuing education, etc. I think that I could be a full-time student for the rest of my life. So, I guess that my short answer to this question is that I want to take as many opportunities as possible to learn new things.
I don’t know - I’ve worked so hard this year and have so much to do - probably working on anti racism and becoming more aware of how I represent white supremacy culture … listening more and thinking before I speak
Affirmation: I move to the beat of my own best rhythm. I want to tune in more to my own best rhythm — in pacing my day, my art, my travel.
I would like to get my grades up and come up with a way to get high Cs or low Bs in every class so that I can feel good about myself when I get higher than the goals I set. I would also like to do self care more often since I rarely ever do that and it's something that's super important to me
I need to start lifting weights after my heart surgery I lost a great deal of muscle mass. Adive os to live each moment to the fullest.
I would like to be more open to people next year, less judgmental and do more listening. There's no specific advice I received but I'm trying to use kindness as a benchmark.
I've decided one thing I am going to work on by next year is not reacting to things with anger. I am going to try my best to notice when something is triggering me to get loud or impatient, especially with my family; take a deep breath; and either say what I need calmly or just not say anything at all. This is going to be really difficult, but I am learning that, when I behave this way, I look back on it later and feel proud of myself. I can also move on more quickly from what happened, even if it hurt my feelings...whereas if I reacted in a way I'm not proud of, it's more difficult to move on. Therefore, I am not doing this because I want to be better to others...I am doing it because I want to feel better about myself, independent of others.
I really have done well with the reading, though the pandemic helped. Still, I need to improve communication & intimacy with Karen, work on piano, and start voice lessons.
Where do I begin? Distractions, bad habits, repeated bad thoughts, bad attitude. Maybe this question needs to be asked on Q09 right before Kol Nidre. A return to believing in my professional self. That’ll come from an administrative win at work. A return to therapy to close out the open tickets in my brain. An elevation of my writing habits. A return to my awareness as a spouse, father, brother, and son. What I really need though is a plan to accomplish these things, and not just “hope”.
I would like to get back to making creativity the core of my day to day. It is a question of reordering priorities and keeping space clear. I hope to draw every day.
At work, I am trying to be more proactive when it comes to behavior issues, instead of waiting for people to come to me. I'm trying to go out into classrooms to do observations and be better at data collection, making behavior plans, and following up once a plan is in place. I know this has always been a weakness of mine. Thinking back on last school year, I feel like I could have been more effective and helpful than I was.
Another year has gone by and I am still wanting to improve my friendships. I want to become someone who others want to be friends with.
I just want to feel better in general. I know it is a tall order as I am in the second half of my life. The best advice I received? Get strong. So, that's what I have been doing in spite of aging, getting stronger. Physical strength is certainly a precursor to mental strength.
I have gotten better at this but it's still a work in progress so I will give myself the same advice as last year: Slow down. Breathe while I'm young. Saunter more, run less.
Hike 4x week, face fears head on, more action less talk. "The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is a little extra."
Care less what others think and build self compassion practice. Don’t believe the story in your head.
Continue working with my mind. Geshe Gelek and his Sunday classes and Lamrim classes. Been a life save so far.
My dear friend told me to coach myself just as I would others. I would like to be my own coach and encourage myself just as I do others with both inspiration and suggestions for more perspiration
I'd like to make time for writing and thus achieving something tangible, but to enjoy myself at the same time. I'd like to make the most of life while I can because my time is limited.
I’d like to be happier and make lasting friends. I don’t know how though.
I’d like to have more good habits in place. My same answer as last year, but I didn’t make much progress on it.
Listen to myself get right with my feminine intuition and be patient to let things happen when they are suppose to. I’m wish for me to be patient with myself and my life. Think positive everyday. Believe in good great things to come to me, especially love from the right man for me. I shall meditate listen to Tarot and spiritual guidance to keep me grounded and at peace within myself. I will grow strength in my belief of myself and my resistance and goodness will come for me and is actually in me that I have to get out finally. I am whole and all that I need is inside of me!!!
I would like to stop drinking as much and start getting back into exercising regularly so I feel more comfortable in my body. I am beautiful and healthy and loved. And it is time to embody that.
As part of all the changes I am making in my life, I am really hoping that I can feel physically well and strong, more than I do now. I have had such pain in my feet, legs, joints, that has really held me back from living the way I want. I have been advised to really change my diet and eliminate things like sugar and processed foods and eat only whole foods. I know what I should and should not eat, but I have unhealthy eating habits. I believe that if I really do follow this healthy dietary advice my body will start to feel better on so many levels. In a year from now I would like to weigh less, have my blood tests be in healthy ranges, and be in less pain.
The answer is easy but i have tried for 10 years and have not been able to solve the problem of Kat hoarding. Our condo is a junkyard filled with so much stuff. It truly stresses me out so much. I have to go thru with dividing the apartment like we said we would do. I am also trying to pay Ingrid and Darren to see if they can push her to get it done.
Self acceptance is what is needed to improve myself and my life next year. Can I accept myself as I do my own children? Can I remember that God accepts me exactly as I am? Even in my imperfections, my mistakes, I am still loved by God. Can I remember to love myself always? Can I release self putdowns, release internal hatred, let go of the many judgements of my Self? Let me offer compassion, kindness, love to my own being, as I try to do with my children. Let me remember God's loving compassion and care, and hold myself in God's love. Planning to find counsel with an excellent therapist.
I’d like to break out of my routines and live life at least a bit more spontaneously than I have the past few years. I feel like I’ve gotten out of touch with activities that used to bring me joy, and I’d like to be more open to those possibilities. I think my routines create an obstacle to that. A post Covid life requires some effort to overcome the inertia and routines developed during the height of the pandemic.
You can't pour from an empty cup! Take care of yourself so you can take care of others.
Get back to who I really am. "I am enough" is my mantra.
At this point next year, I intend to have completed another year of sobriety. The best advice I've received is to always take it one day at a time. And I just keep my eyes on the prize: my beautiful family, which I'll destroy if I DON'T stay sober.
I want to feel better. I do feel better than I did this time last year, especially after the stress fracture in the spring apparently improved my bad foot greatly. I continue to work at renewing my yoga practice, hoping that my various joints will cooperate. I want to get more done on the long list of things I want to complete, rather than saying "Later" and sitting down with something to read. (Not that I don't want to read a great deal, but I have no problem getting that done!) I want to get the whole semi-retirement thing on track.
Move more boldly in the world. Apply for the jobs, even if you don't think you'll get them, say yes to adventures, and do things you don't normally do. Time is short, fill up your life with experiences.
It’s time to move away from being a congregational rabbi to being a community rabbi and teacher.
Would like to be free of physical and mental handicaps; able to do the things I'd like to do, travel, have fun ,rather than be a stuck in the mud kind of person. Free of the constraints and self-criticism, guilt that have plagued me during this life. A friend helped me to see how I could manage my life a bit better, sort out some of the difficulties and recognize that at my age I have done enough for the children, it's down to them now.
Be Better everyday I want to be the best version of myself as possible. I want to continue to be the Pilar for my children. I’m in such a better place no longer being abused
I've made new friends - I've read more but need to focus on retaining what I read, I'd like to do more with my photography and I'd like to take longer walks and in new places.
Be more patient. Give more volunteer more. Write. Be Kind give complement
I would like to continue Setting my own page. Social media, comparison, etc influence us to operate at an illogical and u productive way. By being in relationship to the space (being in Chevruta with it). By focusing on myself and my own peace first.
I'd like to run more and stick to a better exercise routine. It's so easy to stay in bed for a long time and I'd like to get in the habit of getting out of bed sooner!
I would like to continue my journey of self discovery and becoming more comfortable in my skin. I get too caught up in my head and doubt myself and make stupid decisions that aren't based on recovery and reality. There is not just 1 petson out there for you and 1 person won't fix you and your life.
Ha. I thought about this when I did Taschlich. Although I am generally a self-sufficient and strong-willed person, I tend to get run over a lot. There are certain situations where I just don't stand up for myself. In the coming year I would like to be more aware of that, and stand up for myself at times when I previously got run over
Difficult question. I practice mindfulness/meditation. This, along with a regular meditation group, has led to significant changes. I hope to stick with it and be more aware. Each session that we have comes with discussion and all of it has been valuable.
Last year I worried about the state of the world getting in the way of anyone's self improvement. This year I predict things will get even worse. Growth for any will have to be measured in acts of resistance to GOP fascism going forward.
Consistency. Slow it all down. Pause. Allow ideas, conversations and initiatives to breathe. Give things and people and myself the space for things to emerge and coalesce. Stay sweet, soft, open. Drop into the feminine. Own that side of myself. The coy shy side. Let it be.
I have to remember what is in and not in my control...life is short and I shouldn't waste moments worrying about what I can't control. I am blessed with health, family, and enough money to enjoy my life. That's all you need. I think watching my parents age I realize enjoy it while you can. Material things are not important..enjoy life to the fullest of your abilities...
"There's no time to waste." I want to spend what time I have left in a better way. Some time "wasters" are actually on my list of things I want to do more: Day dreams. Solitary walks. Deep breaths. I want to cut back on time spent making money, competing, feeling "better than" others, waiting to talk instead of careful listening, and scrolling through my phone screen looking for a hit of dopamine.
I would like to be working less, maximize my healthy lifestyle, and be better at "going for it" when I see it. Having learned that happiness comes from within me has been most useful. Sharing my feelings seems to be an important element of a good life.
I hope to be more patient and accepting of my daughter, as I now understand more her struggles and issues. It's not easy, but I will try my very best.
I’d like to become more diplomatic, to communicate clearly and kindly.
More patience, less ego. Can always improve on these two things. The path to this, don't know!
“The person is not the problem.”
Continue to practice my teaching skills and see how I can use my mentoring and my teaching skills. And be less "out there"; remembering my VT experience - 50% is enough
You are not stuck as the person who you used to be. Each day is one day away from the past and one day ahead into the future. Each day counts, so make it count.
I need to become less dependent on my mum. As she is probably going to be moving away from the area in the next year, I need to find other ways to cope without relying on her when my husband isn’t around. Hopefully I will start to feel better in myself once the baby is born as many mental health professionals and my family think becoming a mum will be the making of me.
Two ways, which I hope are not contradictory! I want/need to focus more on my health. As noted elsewhere, I've mostly taken for granted general good health, but the effects of aging, and a somewhat changed lifestyle the past few years during COVID, have made me sloppy in my attention to diet and exercise. I want to get better at this. Honestly, I want to want it/like it more (I simply don't). What I know is that it takes attention, so I hope I'll give this part of my life more attention in the coming year. And while it's about health more than vanity, I'd really like to improve how I look in my clothes, and maybe even (gasp!) be able to (or choose to) wear short-sleeve or sleeveless shirts again. I'd just like to feel and look better overall. I also want to rest more, to give myself a break, to let my mind wander and my body sit without having a task sometimes. Again, with aging comes the need for more rest. And yet, with my day job and various side hustles, I seem to almost always be working at something. I've come to treat rest as a luxury, rather than as the essential it is. I hope I'll allow myself more time for rest in the coming year. There's not really been advice or counsel this past year, but more this as a general awareness of what I need. Knowing it and doing it are not the same, so perhaps I'll quote Yoda: "Do or do not, there is no try."
I need to find more ways to bring joy into my life. Because of COVID I still don't feel safe going to things like movies, comedy shows, or other similar things with a lot of people. I still haven't found a way to replace those things, and I haven't found things to take their place.
Get back to my pre COVID weight. Be a better person, husband, Dad and coworker.
I want to continue to look after myself better - eating well and taking enough exercise. Not from this year - but I always appreciate the words of Gabrielle Roth "Do you have the discipline to be a free spirit? "
Get in good health/shape to age more gracefully. I’m a procrastinator to the point of inaction. I also put things off until “tomorrow”. “With the same habits, you’ll end up with the same results. But with better habits, anything is possible." -James Clear, Atomic Habits
I would like to be satisfied with my career - the first step is a green card
Exercise more. Accepted those with different opinions. Love my family and friends.
Lighten up! Lose a bit of bulk and be more active. Sing and dance. Enjoy! Have fun!
Same struggles with GERD again this year. I can’t think of any advice, just a lot of hints encouraging me to retire.
the world won't end if you don't meet a goal as long as you put in an effort to achieve it
Slowing down, trusting God fully and completely, and reveling in the blessings of the moment. Trust, trust, trust. I revisited, recently, the following by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin; it continues to be wise advice/counsel: Above all, trust in the slow work of God We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new. And yet it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability- and that it may take a very long time. And so I think it is with you. your ideas mature gradually – let them grow, let them shape themselves, without undue haste. Don’t try to force them on, as though you could be today what time (that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will) will make of you tomorrow. Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be. Give Our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.
I want to settle in and make new friends. I want to walk more and exercise more. Yes, keep active to deal with my grief after losing my husband.
I want to continue to grow in my mindfulness, inner strength and resiliency and emotional health by continuing to learn how to feel my feelings as suggested by Sue in therapy sessions.
It does not matter what people think of you, it's how you think of yourself. Everyone on this planet is different, so we have to unique. Smile in face of cancer.
I would like to keep losing weight & feel the stress of life off my shoulders! Less clutter & a better job! Best counsel I’ve received is to just go for it!
I would like to be able to live in the moment more. We never know what's around the corner and I would like to appreciate every minute I have, especially with my children.
First good question for a 51-year-old. I would like to be more mindful while also not being overly self-involved. I see many people my age turning internally to pursue their interests, but we also need to keep ourselves out there to impact the world with our knowledge. With that in mind I would like to insert myself where I am helpful and needed and remove myself where our younger generations can be a better asset.
The same as I've said every year. I want to get motivated to do the things I say I want to do, instead of getting caught up in endless streaming, etc. BTW, all my friends think I do a lot - whose perception is off-key?
I would like to spend less time online overall, which is super challenging with all of my work being remote, but I do have a lot of choices that I make that represent voluntary viewing of others' lives in place of living my own. There's a balance. I am not sure yet what that would be replaced with prep. A long time ago, my mom said something to the effect that there are only a certain number of "template" faces and personality types, and eventually we've seen them all. I've started to feel that way with social media content, but not acting on it.
I would like to be more assertive and value my own wishes/needs - consider my own convenience when planning a get together, take time to do what I like, do not stop my exercise and my “manicure “ in order to prepare for a get together etc. also I would like to be less reactive- less sensitive to what other people think of me. If they get angry, it’s their problem. I don’t want it to affect me. I don’t want be scared of and not be myself/express myself , or loose my joy and happiness because THEY have an anger problem. I want to stay focused, centered, and continue being myself and doing the right thing no matter what their reaction.
Ditto from last year. Fuck improving myself. There was a time when I would have loved this question but now I see the shame inherent in it. It says, "you're not enough - good enough, etc." Yes, there are skills I'd like to get better at, but I think a better question would be 'how are you seeing life these days?' That is, how do I see myself and how do I see others? I used to have a general feel-good optimism about the world and after the last two years I can see that it was based on a lot of unconsciousness and privilege. Now I feel stuck. I feel angry. Angry about the unmasked, the unvaccinated, the people who litter, the people who don't want my trans kid to be trans, the people who separate families at the border ... my list can seem endless. Not next year, but right now, how can I learn to be of this world and not embittered by it? Is there any advice that could guide me? I don't have a quote or mantra in mind but I'm almost certain it has to do with serving others.
I would like to continue working through the anxiety I feel in my body about so many things. My experiences with Rohit have really reminded me of the panic I feel around abandonment and feelings of inadequacy in relationships. I have very low self-esteem when it comes to relationships and I want to work on that very much. I also want to continue working on the anxiety I have developed which comes when I am interacting with women. I think this is a self-identity, self-esteem issue as well. I am making progress with this but still have work to do. I would also like to continue working on developing healthy routines. Daily meditation is important to me. Daily cardio is also important to me: yoga practice (3 times per week) and going to the gym/pool/walk on the other days. Also: maintaining ayurvedic eating habits, getting enough sleep each night, drinking enough water, not smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol infrequently. I haven't restarted my pastry/cake habit since coming home and I'm glad about that, but I have been using other vices.
Continue my new practice of letting go of (sometimes) long held resentments
I want to be still, a recurring theme in these questions. I want to take care of my physical and emotional health. Exercise more frequently. Eat a healthier diet. Sleep 8 hours a night. Take my medication as scheduled. I want to spend time with people I enjoy spending time with, and not worry about spending time with people I am supposed to spend time with. I want to continue reading spiritually fulfilling material, and continue meditating and journaling. Both are vital to my journey towards a life at the intersection of meaning and joy.
I would like to work on my temper. It's been the bane of my existence since I was a child, and I think life would be a lot more pleasant if I don't snap at my family constantly. Last year, I learned to keep my mouth shut better and limit the information I give Mom and Grandma in order to avoid conflict. That's definitely been a good thing because I was able to escape a lot of criticism (my job offer, Gabby getting sick, leaving Gabby at home to have fun, etc.)
I want to continue my weight loss and strength training journey. I need to be more consistent with my Crossfit classes, weight training class, and also keep on a more strict intermittent fasting schedule. I see that last year, I spoke about how I was taking NLP classes, well I finished that and got a Practitioner's Certificate over the past year. I want to keep learning how to reframe/ reprogram a lot of my own psychological issues and also practice a LOT more meditation. I want to work on my confidence level as well as become more fearless. I think I will be going skydiving this upcoming year with my husband, eek.
There will be big changes ahead as my hubby plans to retire in a few months. My goal is to make it work by remembering that the house is his too. I've become overly territorial especially since he's been on the road for more months of the year than not for the last seven years or so. Adjusting to new rhythms (or creating them!) will be challenging and I have zero role models on how to do any of this. Advice would be dearly appreciated- but I think getting the hubs to take it too would be the most helpful.
At the wake after the passing of a great grandmother I heard the pastor say that we must all continue on even if our suffering feels insurmountable. Keeping faith close and trusting in God is something I would hope to achieve and improve at. Prayer without faith isn't prayer at all.
Keep waking up early and keep writing.
I'd say pay less attention to noise, and notice more wonders – from a poem shared with me during Tashlikh.
I think I need to be happy in where I’m at at work.
I would like to be more gentle with my husband, no matter how much he forgets, or asks me the same thing over and over. I want to never use my impatient tone of voice. Richard Rohr’s recent devotionals on the gift of imperfection encourage me. No perfection this side of Heaven.
Get more exercise, more regularly, including weight lifting for bone strength. Eat more vegetables and fewer processed carbs and cheese. Practice music almost daily.
1. I want to be more relaxed and happier 2. I want to be even nicer to my husband
I would like to be happier. I would to develop a few more friendships. I love my friends but they have their own lives as well. I want more time with friends. I thought about signing up for a dating app and I got a cancer recurrence, so that's out. But there are sites for women seeking friendships with other women. Maybe I'll do one of those.
‘Imagine my world anew’ I’m leaving behind my dead brother, my career, friends, so much. And my self improvement goal is a beautiful transition. Paring down to a carryon what I’m taking through the portal to a new dream.
Achieve a better balance between responsibilities and relaxation. Give myself permission to step back from involvement and let go of guilt when I feel depleated by helping others. I liked the wisdom from Linda Thal and Rachel Cowan in Wise Aging: saying “no” can be an act of “divine chutzpah”. I hearby challenge myself to set aside quiet, private time for writing.
I REALLY need to take control of my weight before it causes irreversible health problems.
I need to be kinder to myself. I don’t want to feel guilty because I have feelings. I want to be able to accept that it’s taking me more time than it might others to resolve my feelings for Steve; that I’m not a bad daughter because I want to avoid my mom sometimes and I resent her diminishing capacity. I have so much guilt over my emotional responses to both of these losses. Perhaps I can’t cope with loss. I want to learn to accept my own feelings and not judge myself for having them.
Well, don’t have to try to quit smoking anymore. Job change stopped that finally! I’d like to get back to regular yoga. I need the stretching and the meditative qualities too.
I would like to continue to make relationships a priority in my life. I would like to continue to visit my parents regularly and reach out to friends and family often. The best advice I received last year was from my therapist…observe don’t absorb. Don’t let other peoples stress and meshugas sink into you. Continue to live each day fully and with meaning. I would like to slow down a bit but don’t think it’s in my nature.
I'd like to reconnect with Judaism. It's been hard during the pandemic - our synagogue was mostly online for a long time, and we still wear masks when we're onsite. And our rabbi is entirely uninspiring. I've been getting inspiration and certainly connecting to the divine and the ongoing act of creation elsewhere, because I spent the pandemic hiking... but that's not the same as reading Torah.
My brand needs to be a household name. It already is but needs a bigger show out! My advice to you Fucken do it! Stop being a weenie! You’ve waited too long and have dimmed your light far too long for others to shine on your brightness and imagine you were showing out in a sun setting now imagine once you open that flame up!
I hope that I am in a less anxious place mentally, that the therapy I have just started will have helped me deal with my anxiety. I hope I will find a way to put my passion for the rights of the common people and the environment to use, I dream of enacting change and actually helping people. To like my hair more! Dang summer kicking my fringe off my face. And as always, be kind to myself, and allow myself more rest, spend more time in the garden. Grow more things! Learn new ways to cook, to make and create, to continue educating myself and also allowing joy for joys sake.
I want to get better at frog-eating. Doing the things I'm scared of! "Don't take anything personally." - The Four Agreements
I would like to listen to myself with clearer, truer ears. I didn't end up liking the book, but the idea in the Way of Integrity that we aren't happy if we are living, working, dating, befriending, eating etc in ways that aren't aligned with our truest self.
I would like to focus on framing choices in terms of nourishment. What and who nourish me? How can I work more of that into my life?
I have taped a bunch of yoga shows so I want to start doing some yoga. I did it a few years ago but fell off the downward dog LOL The advice is a general one of even if you start and start again, better than not to start at all 😀
Improved physical health by better commitment to a healthy diet and daily exercise. Limited alcohol consumption. Less angry and judgmental. More accepting of others and their differences. "In the end...the love you take is equal to the love you make."
I keep going back to what Douglas said in class: excellence over perfection. I've been trying to rid myself of my perfectionist tendencies for years, and something my therapist also said to me recently applies here too; I don't have to get rid of habits or things I don't like about myself, I can try to replace them with other things. Maybe I can lean more into excellence with this in mind. I feel like recently I've been reminded of my non-perfection, and I need this. I want to try to embrace excellence in all its forms, as I have, but without the constraints of trying to come across as perfect all the time.
Simple things. Taking time to relax and enjoy just 'being.' Traveling on trips that I want to take (versus being pressured to take trips I don't). Taking care of my health and fitness. I think sometimes I feel like I should have a lofty goal, but a bunch of smaller goals are okay too, like going on a hike, learning Hebrew, planning a trip, reading a book, etc.
Make sure that I'm circulating in different orbits to get ideas, meet new people and new perspectives
"Great" to be reminded that I weighed 146 2 years ago then lost 10 last year then GAINED 7 this year after changing jobs from where I was walking around 4 miles/day at Walmarts to sitting on my A-- at a desk 8 hours/day! Improve? More walking t0 get back to 136, been trying all year, not much success, but I won't quit! Advice for next year... get a check-up! sooner than later - pain in leg isn't getting any better, not getting any worse either and I know my BP is high - time to bite the "close to 70" bullet and take care of my health!
I’d like to work on my attachment issues.
I hope things get better but it's really out of my control: the bad is down to the people I care for.
i want to get rid of stuff. There is way too much of it in my life. Someday needs to come soon.
Rest and think and don’t force it and the right path will become apparent to you was the advice and that’s what I’d like to try and do, but finding a quiet centred place within seems to be proving difficult as my menopause symptoms get worse - my insomnia has now got to the point where I’m sometimes awake all night.
I want to keep deepening into my heart wisdom. The best line I heard to get out of my reactive brain and into my heart is, “If furious, get curious.” It does mean allowing myself to be vulnerable and transparent. I have to be honest about what fear patterns I might be carrying over from the past into the present. However, that is a huge empowerment move. because if I see the patterns, I have the power to choose, I can shift into a different response, I can lead from my heart. That’s my aim.
Become more independent and do more creative stuff
