Q01

Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired?

I guess going through the pandemic for a second time was hard - most specifically the act of sitting by myself, praying at a laptop, managing devices, cables, capos and guitar picks. It was hard, lonely, exhausting, discouraging, difficult to find the spiritual spark in it all. I pray we won‘t have to go through this for a third time.

I met Barry George. Grateful. Helping him clean out his studio has meant the world to me. Seeing how he gracefully and with incredible toughness navigates changes in life stages. The way he lives with integrity, the way he works intuitively but with focus and reflection, his intentional consumption of media, and the way he works really hard in his mind not to commodify people... He is so physically tough but also balances friendship and relaxation, travel and inspiration, and tries to lift up artists of other backgrounds and experiences. After meeting such deep depression for so much of this pandemic year, Barry really helped me to find joy again through sculpture. There are certain moments where gratitude is too big to even think of repaying, this is one of them — all you can do is hope to live up to and pass on the magic.

Berenice died this year - Chuck did too, the oldest member of my family and the oldest in Laurel’s. But Berenice’s life and lifespan and the influence on everyone around her: she was an especially impactful matriarch and her loss is deep. The ceremony around her death was a great example of why ritual makes us feel connected to a communal timeline that extends on both sides beyond my individual lifeline.

The past year has gone by so quickly. Almost as fast a 2020. With that said, 2020's significant issues still reigned supreme. Covid: We saw a decrease in cases. but, that was short lived as half of the population refused to get the vaccine because of fear and misinformation. The disease of course now had time to mutate and did. Vaccinated people were carriers, which if everyone was vaccinated it should have resulted in no one getting sick and the disease dying out. But no, it instead was passed to the non vaccinated who got sick and allowed the disease to mutate and get stronger. What should have been an end to the pandemic resulted in an increase in cases and a stronger disease. Now, even the vaccinated are getting sick. At first it was mild, but now vaccinated people are dying. Lock downs are back but the people are less willing to follow them because they do not understand how any of this works. They feel like the government is just trying to take their rights away. As if a strong economy and tax revenue is not what a government wants. People truly believe that the government is trying to make people docile and dependent on the government. Not thinking about the fact that if we are not working and paying taxes that the government will not be anything to be dependent on. There are definitely factions that are trying to control people with fear and make them dependent, but it isn't the government. Look up Qanon and conspiracy theories of 2020-2021, kids, you will be shocked. January 6th saw an actual attack on our capitol building by these believers. A man shot his children with a fishing spear because he believed they had lizard DNA (see Qanon). A man and woman killed kids spouses because of similar doomsday scenarios ( see Chad and Lori Daybell). Anyone with a mental illness, or any type of paranoia is susceptible to these cult tactics. It is actually quite clear why. The pandemic isn't the only trigger for end of days theorists. Climate change has brought us some severe new challenges this year. In California we have had forest fires that literally cannot be extinguished, only redirected when the circumstances are optimal. Everything is so dry and hot. California has lost acreage the size of Rhode Island. I almost lost my childhood home. Many towns were wiped out. Greenville is gone (just like we lost Paradise a few years back). In other parts of the country there is flooding and hurricanes. Now you may think we have always had these things, but not like this we haven't. The normal tactics for handling these issues no longer work. Homes will be lost and people will die until new innovations emerge to combat the new normal. Speaking of normal, nothing is. But, we live our lives. We love our family and friends that have not been lost to extreme thoughts. We morn the lost of those who have been lost to these thoughts and hope we will be able to talk to them rationally again someday. We coordinate our masks to our outfits. Find joy in anything and everything that we can. We donate what we can to the survivors of fires and floods. While we still stock up on our own supplies, just in case. We carry on..as you do.

I defended my dissertation and graduated from graduate school. Though naturally proud, I was in the moment far more sad, scared, and wracked with separation anxiety than excited or happy. Since then I have gained some measure of equanimity and grown more comfortable with the uncertainty. As I reflect on the transition now, I am profoundly grateful--not least of all for the experience of defending my dissertation in the presence of all my dear ones as well as some relative strangers, and in doing so seizing the opportunity to say what I've been all but literally dying to say out loud and without interruption this whole time. This was truly therapeutic.

Going through depression and more intense anxiety than I have experienced before -- also my job search. Has left me amazed at my resiliency, in awe of those who deal with hardships like that and where I never really thought so much about how difficult it is, and appreciative of the current stability in my life

I accepted and started my first real job out of college. Yahoo! I'm very lucky to be in this position because so many people had trouble finding work due to the pandemic. I was stressed about moving to Richmond for a long time, but thankfully, we have kept working from home. It is strange to have a full time job and yet, I have never been to the office nor met any of my coworkers. For several months, I did not have enough to do, and that made me frustrated. It was only recently that I received more to do because I talked to my boss. I'm wondering how long I will stay in this position since managing a largely static program is not very exciting.

Many significant experiences happened this past year, in fact, I believe it's been more eventful that any year I can think of, good and bad. We had a health scare with my husband, he had a series of issues, from September to December, that were unrelated which landed us at appointments, procedures, tests, the ER and finally surgery. I was nervous, but thankfully everything turned out ok in the end. We also lost my husband's oldest daughter February 28, a month before she turned thirty. It was extremely tragic and there was nearly unbearable amounts of drama being stirred up by others during this difficult time. As a result he has lost all contact with his other daughter and his grandchildren. My grandmother I was closest to turned 96 in April and we had a family party and took five generation pictures. I ended up losing her and my other grandmother within the next two months. It was rather difficult. I also became a grandmother for spring, it was wonderful and of course he is the cutest little stinker there is! Very exciting and welcome to have a new baby in the family for sure.

I'm wracking my brain trying to think of significant experiences, but that's the point: I feel like we haven't been able to have "experiences" over the past year because of the pandemic. Maybe getting the Pfizer vaccine was the most significant event for me over the past year, but now with the Delta variant, not yet reaching herd immunity, and research showing that the efficacy of the vaccination might be waning, it doesn't feel like that big of a deal anymore; I'm not as relieved as I used to feel. I remember I had a vivid dream (about a month before I was eligible to get my shot) during which I was offered the vaccination because I had helped bring an older person to his/her vaccination appointment. I cried with such relief when I was told I would receive the vaccination too. It was cathartic while I was asleep, and continued as a prayer when I awoke. When it was finally my turn in real life, I had already done my emotional crying. That day, I just felt the beginning of a sense of relief and counted down the 21 days until I could get my second dose. 10 days after that, a huge fear was finally lifted when I became officially "fully vaccinated." As time has passed, however, the fears are creeping back. I hope that this year, all Americans--and then all people on the planet--get the vaccine so that we can put this horrible pandemic behind us.

Eric's death. I know it will be transformative but I don't yet fully know how. I feel sad for him and the community around him, grateful to have been a part of it, and both isolated and connected in mourning.

I gained a nephew and a niece which has been incredible in two ways. My sister has inspired me to achieve the same as her as a mum and I am grateful and relieved that my brother got the chance to be a dad as he and his fiancé have had a hard time getting to this point.

My colleague died. I didn't know him all that well (we'd only worked together for a year), but I liked him a lot. He was kind and funny and helped me out whenever I had a question or needed something. I didn't know how much I felt his loss until I got my first pandemic haircut after I got vaccinated and my hairdresser asked me about losing my hair. She was worried enough that she asked me to talk to my doctor. When I did, she asked if anything stressful had happened about six months ago. I said "James died." She said those things were probably related. I said I hadn't felt like it was a deeply personal loss for me, and she looked at me with so much kindness. It's been almost a year since he died. I miss him.

The pandemic forcing me to not be able to see my family. It made me have a new appreciation and realizations about what is really important in my life. On the other hand, part of me felt relieved at being given a "break" from saying yes to social invites, feeling pressure to go out and socialize, etc. I was inspired to try to use the time at home to re-invent myself and re-focus.

Menopause has been in full swing - hot flashes, moody, don't sleep well, gaining weight, anxious, distracted. My youngest has gone off to college - excited for her, sad for me. She's distanced herself in the last year, but understandable since I haven't really been available. My manger just quit - mixed feelings. He made some great improvements and had a clear vision of what he wanted for the lab. People still has issues with his personal skills. We're also short staffed so working a lot of overtime. Tired!

In June, I travelled to Alaska for the first time to experience the wildness and vastness of that dramatic landscape on our first adventure outside of California since the start of the pandemic. Although I experienced the usual unexpected travel woes, from summer squalls that disrupted our boat travel in Kenai Fjords NP to stressful airport transfers, the single most impactful memory was our day spent with the brown bears of Katmai. We woke up early at our Airbnb outside of Homer, drove to the Emerald Air float plane dock, and boarded a small single engine De-Haviland Otter to fly off into the real Alaskan bush. We were joined by our naturalist guide, Lance, two millennial couples, and an older couple with their photographer friend. Upon landing on the water at Hallo Bay, we had to walk through waist-high water to reach the beach, where we immediately saw a lumbering mama bear with her three yearlings heading our way. The rest of the day unfolded in perfect harmony with the environment: we watched two sub-adult males play-fighting, as their sounds and the smoke from their breath was visible 20 yards away. We paused for lunch in the meadow, only to be approached by another mama with her three new cubs, that walked less than 10 feet from where we were sitting. Both of these experiences made my heart race, with the adrenaline of proximity from these extraordinary creatures and the acute knowledge that they were far bigger and more powerful than we are. The landscape was a stunning, picturesque and untrammeled wilderness, with a glacier and snow-capped mountains forming the backdrop. Bald eagles perched on ghost trees and soared overhead, and the only other humans were one other group and a filmmaker capturing footage for a new BBC documentary. As we made our way back to the plane, crossing rivers up to our knees and glimpsing more massive adult bears snoozing in the meadow, it was hard to believe that a place so beautiful could exist. The trip to Alaska as a whole, and specifically our afternoon in Katmai, reminded me of our fragility, and the lasting, unchangeable impacts that humans have made on the planet. I was inspired to keep learning more about the wonders of creation that exist all over the world, and share the story of my encounter with the bears to help others understand their beauty, power, and playfulness.

There have been many significant professional experiences in the last year that have impacted me tremendously as a whole person: writing a chapter in a forthcoming book (!!), being asked to give multiple talks and panel discussions on topics closely aligned with my values, and co-teaching a university-level course (Interpreting Place with Jordan Rosenblum). Jordan and the rest of my CR committee were colleagues and friendly acquaintances of mine before this, but I think I came out on the other side of my projects this year with a few very good friends and feeling far more embedded within the Portland (and all of Oregon!) arts, history, and culture scene. In 5781 I gently pushed myself to meet new people and really try to get to know them, to speak the truth everywhere I found myself, as well as to do things outside of my professional comfort zone. I am grateful that I took advantage of the opportunities that came to me this year. I'm feeling more comfortable in Portland and in my career as a result. I am also grateful that 5782 is a shmita year, so we can rest!

This year was a year of hardship for me. We've had so many terrible events happen to us. In February, we had a freeze - but not just any freeze. It was one that caused Texas' power grid to shut down. It was a scary time for us but I was thankful it wasn't worse. It was definitely a learning experience. Shortly after in March, my husband's mom had a stroke. We thought she wouldn't make it, even the doctors recommended we allow her to pass. But as a family, the siblings decided to fight for her and she's slowly recovering. We're thankful she had the chance to recover but very sad she won't make it to our wedding, which we postponed just for her. The wedding is not a bittersweet event, one which we're excited for but also very disappointed nothing turned out how it would be. Later this spring, my sister got into a 4 car accident and her car was totaled. It was terrifying and I was so scared for her. Again, we were somehow lucky that she walked away with minor injuries. Then in May, I was let go from my job for no good reason. All of my evaluations were excellent but they decided to give my position to someone less qualified than me. I was lucky enough to find a new job and received a job offer on my last day. Overall, I was so grateful for that experience because I was so tired of that job. It was toxic and now, I feel that I'm treated and paid fairly. Around my birthday this year, our family dog passed away. He experienced many seizures one day and we decided it was time. We didn't want him to suffer anymore and he was quite old. But he'll always remain in our hearts. I honestly don't know how living through a pandemic could've gotten worse but somehow, it did for me. But oddly enough, it all seemed to either work out or I accepted that things are the way they are. I just can't wait for things to get better.

I moved forward with my conversion. It has for the most part placed me on the path I believe I was always intended to be on. I am extremely grateful that the opportunity to proceed with my conversion has finally taken place.

Finishing the 75hard challenge was one of the most significant experiences in the past year for me. Working through pain, struggle and next to no motivation to honor my commitment and self-respect. I did yoga in the snow. Walks after midnight on weekdays. And had a nazi regimen of what I ate. And finishing it was amazing. It really changed my relationship with myself for the better.

My husband's father died. We were on a trip out of town for a friend's memorial when he had to go into the hospital, and all of the communication with the residence nurses and then the hospital staff all went to him, in a different time zone. He got a phone call every couple of hours and had to give approval for every step taken. It was traumatic enough emotionally to know he was losing his dad, but also to have to be the one in charge during this time of procedures and actions. We knew this day would come and had prepared legally for it, but it's a whole other world when it is happening in the here and now. He had to make all of the ethical decisions, plus arrangements for local friends to help pick up his mom and get her to the hospital so she could say good-bye to him. Plus make his own peace with it, since we couldn't get a flight out until after he had already passed. We are still working through it emotionally. Since he had dementia, he's been "gone" for a while, but now he is really, completely gone, and it is heartbreaking. It also forces the idea of my own parents' mortality right up to the front of the line of my worries. Questions arise now like, what will I do if I can't be there? How will I get there in time? Will there be a choice? Have I asked my parents everything I want to know from them? What will happen when my husband's mom goes? How long will she hold on without her husband? Lots of questions to ponder, all of them sad.

Being diagnosed with cancer for the second time is not something I was particularly excited about. At first I was resentful I guess and frustrated. Now I am learning to be grateful for the things I can change and accept what I am given.

My sister working in the Covid wards in Barcelona left me terrified and exhausted. My aunt dying has shifted me to worry about the future, my parents and Jeremy's agin and dying. I feel afraid and resentful and wish I had had children.

On February 6, 2021 I had to put my beloved dog, Billie to sleep. It affected me tremendously as I was very attached to her and I miss her so much. I know in my heart that I made the right decision but it's still hard for me and I think of her often. She lived for 14 months after she got diabeties. I had to give her insulin shots every day and we made many trips to the vet. I know that I took great care of her and she took great care of me and I'm very happy about that.

That one is a little hard to answer. Well, no, now that I think about it, there were a few big ones. The biggest was Tara passing away. It doesn't feel so big now, since that was back in February, so 8 months have gone by to soften it somewhat. More recently, the biggest thing has been my newfound love of composing music. I took a few big trips around the midwest and I got a dog. I feel very grateful for the good things that have happened and I feel like I'm choking when I think about Tara too much. I try not to avoid thinking about her, because that's not healthy, but it can be hard sometimes. I wish we had been closer, and that dashed hope for our relationship growing closer has been the hardest thing to swallow from her death.

I guess the election, but really the way that America is changing with respect to mis-information.

Getting a job at the Ryman Auditorium. Grateful but resentful because I wanted to start my own company.

In the summer of 2020, my landlord in Brooklyn informed me that she sold the apartment I was living in. This decision sparked a series of actions on my part that resulted in me choosing to be nomadic until the pandemic eased and I found a job that would afford a new lease in Brooklyn. This decision aggressively shifted my priorities for the year from being in NY to moving around to different cities and pursuing opportunities as they arose. Given the ongoing uncertainty with travel due to COVID-19, I chose to only plan 3-6 weeks in advance to avoid further disappointments and frustrations. I also made a commitment to be as safe as possible (i.e. follow local guidelines), but not give up on living my life to be locked in one location due to the pandemic. The second significant experience that happened this year is that after 14 months of a solely connecting virtually, Tommy agreed to meet me in person on October 11, 2020 in Los Angeles. This meeting was everything I dreamed it would be and more. Tommy was as charming and intelligent as I had thought, but also revealed himself to be soft, endearing, and sweet hearted. We embarked on a love affair that spans across geographies (he lives in LA, I’m nomadic). My connection with Tommy has been one of the defining experiences of my year. He has brought me a lot joy, a new discovery of love, mutual support, challenge, some self criticism, deep intimacy and a lot of great sex. I’ve been so grateful to him for his openness to a relationship that a year ago seemed nearly impossible (he had a girlfriend, refused to discuss his queerness, etc.) The love we shared has uplifted me and exposed the fears I have about my future (more on that in future questions).

Nadav!!! Yeah!! This time last year I was very pregnant and now feel very blessed to be enjoying the company of a 10mo who keeps waking me up at 3am... Honestly, he's such a joy to have around - easy to make laugh, adventurous, big bright eyes, and delicious smile. I'm so excited to watch him grow over this next year into a toddler who can say "balloon" and "water" and all sorts of stuff. The one thing about Nadav joining us was his birth. I can on the surface be totally ok with what happened. There really wasn't another options - my doctor was beyond great - and Nadav joined us happy and health. I think the part of it I have yet to face is how the trauma of the way he came into this world impacted me. I've never actually sat down and recounted his birth story or even talked with my husband about it, comparing our experiences. It's hard to know what to say to someone who is pregnant for the first time what they might need in that moment when you just can't think straight. I might have faired better if we had a doula. I love Barak but having someone in the room with experience who could offer suggestions to the doctor would have not changed the outcome but might have changed the experience for me. To get it all out there, really for the first time - this is what I remember. For a couple of days I was having minor contractions then the morning of the 22nd I had some leakage. Since this was my second child, they had me go straight to the hospital where they confirmed I had broken my water and was at 3cm dilated. Barak and I were hopeful and soon got into a room and started the suggested Pitocin. Guilty step #1 - I shouldn't have done that, I don't know why I felt I needed to speed the process up. Things were going great, I could totally handle the contractions and we were listening to music and playing Duel. At around 1:30pm I was at 8cm and everyone was ready for Nadav to get there. That's when things took a turn. The doctor noticed that the amniotic sac had re-sealed and they came and broke my water again. This was incredibly uncomfortable and a lot of water but fine. They wanted to get a better reading on the contractions do they put in a monitor right up against the sac. Then they decided to add some water back in to give the baby some lubrication to move into the right position. All that - all good! Lets say this is around 4:30pm. From that point the contractions started to get more intense and I laid there tensing every time there was a contraction, watching the chart spike as high as it could - over and over and over. I was breathing and trying to stay calm. The nurse kept saying - if you only got the epidural, you could relax and the baby would come out. So I relaxed - I went almost dead inside, totally limp as the contractions came on fast and hard. This whole time, we were watching the baby's heart rate dip at every contraction but it always rebounded so the doctor wasn't concerned yet. Then I got to a point where I couldn't take it any more - I do not know what time this was, lets say 6pm. When I asked for an epidural they turned off the Pitocin and got me into position. Like with Gideon's birth, they had difficulty putting it in but this time I had fluid streaming out of me and onto my socks and the floor. I burst into tears, sobbing, and the nurse just said "why are you crying?" Why am I fucking crying?? Who says that to a woman giving birth... I wish I could say things got better but guilty step #2 - after getting the epidural the doctor decided to stop the Pitocin. WHY DIDN'T HE STOP THE PITOCIN BEFORE I GOT THE EPIDURAL!?!?! So here I am totally numb from the waste down seeing these beautiful contractions slow and medium in size, well spaced but I couldn't feel a thing! I asked the nurse how I should know when it was the right time to push and she said, when you feel like you have to poop and I said, I can't "feel" anything. I asked for the epidural to be lowered so that I could feel something and right when they were making that adjustment the doctor and a whole team of nurses came into the room and without really saying much flipped me over put a peanut between my legs, I think they moved the bed to an incline so my head was down, and kept trying to move the baby around. I stared at Barak with fear in my eyes before he stepped in and asked what was going on. The doctor finally said, it's time to do a C-section. Neither of us were going to fight it and luckily I had already gotten the epidural which they needed to do the surgery. They kinda said what medication they were giving me in my IV was but not really as they whisked me away and gave Barak a gown to join me. The C-section was awful! I could not stop shaking and it was the worst feeling of being lifted and moved and feeling like a rag doll completely out of control of anything - completely unprepared for the experience. I was SOOO happy that Nadav was born and healthy and when they told me the cord was wrapped around his neck, I knew there wasn't ever going to be a different option. They showed Nadav to me but I couldn't care, I just wanted it all to be over. And it was. And we got to meet him but it was also immediately uncomfortable in the room we were staying in - Barak couldn't get food, there was no nursery to take Nadav for a couple hours so I could rest, my back was seizing up from the shaking, and it was hot as balls!! It just sucked. The first month, maybe two, but definitely one was so f*ing hard!! Recovering from the surgery, trying to get a new born to nurse, trying to get some sleep, trying to interact with my toddler, having a bris during COVID and dealing with technical complications, trying to deal with all the hormones in my body. It was awful... We were lucky to have Rach there with us to help and food delivered so we didn't have to worry about that. But for me physically and emotionally it was just the worst. I'm clearly in a much better place physically in regards to the surgery and breastfeeding, absolutely loving my child and we're still working on the sleep thing! But the trauma of that day - the high hopes that he was just going to slip out in six hours, the guilt of not saying no or being able to advocate for myself. I don't know what would have been different. If I hadn't tried to rush it, would he have been able to get unstuck on his own? Would I have been able to be more comfortable and last until the need for a C-section without an epidural? Does it matter? How long should it matter? What do I need to do so that it doesn't matter? Will that experience ever not matter?

I’ve changed jobs. It was a tough decision to move to a new school because I am a creature of habit. I had been at Harrison Central for 5 years and I really liked most of the people that I worked with. I DID NOT want to make the move but it became clearer and clearer that my administration didn’t care about teachers or students. I was angry that things were changing - that they had to change - and I put off making the decision to look for a new position for as long as possible, hoping that maybe things would change, that maybe the nefarious nature of my administration would come to light and all of us would be rescued. I’m at a new school this fall and things are so much better. I’m grateful for administration that doesn’t micromanage their teachers. I’m still angry about micromanaging and dismissive central office administration. Teaching in a pandemic is no joke and administration has made choices that doesn’t make it any easier. But my individual administration is so much better than it was last year. It almost makes me wonder why I waited so long to change because I knew last year…& the year before..,& the year before..,that it wasn’t a good situation. But I stayed. And stayed. And stayed. Which makes me wonder why I stay in education. I have to stay at least two more years so I’m fully vested in the retirement system. I’m at the age now that I cannot afford to walk away from another retirement, and that future while it is still decades away, looms large in my mind. According to people who are already there, it will be here before I know it. When those two years are up? I’m eaither moving on or moving up. The classroom will be a memory for me. Covid has shown me that it’s no longer the place for me.

My uncle passed away recently and that’s been very sad and I think we will continue to miss him a lot and grieve. I finally quit my job that I really disliked and I feel a major sense of relief to be free of the place.

I was thrilled to welcome our second child this past year. I was grateful to be able to experience pregnancy, and I have reveled in watching our daughters grow together. I am grateful for them, our family and our health. I have had moments of aggravation, frustration and resentment over the past year, but I am working toward putting my best foot forward for them.

I have taken more time to experience gratitude.

Teaching Adas Israel's Boker Ohr Torah Study and Friday Parsha Study, via Zoom, over the summer as a lay teacher. Teaching in the community of scholars with whom you've learned for five years is a daunting, and slightly terrifying, experience, despite their noncritical support. I was very pleased with how well both sessions went, and relieved when each was over as well. Honored to be part of such an amazing community even if only long distance.

I got my 2nd COVID vaccine one week before Sedar. It was a little short of what was recommended before being considered fully vaccinated, but close enough that I cautiously drove several hours to celebrate Sedar with my siblings who had completed their vaccinations well before me. It was wonderful to see them and to celebrate a holiday in person. At least temporarily it lifted my loneliness.

I finished writing the draft of my first (serious) novel. It has given me self-confidence, conviction that I can be a writer, and the energy to keep trying.

I'm back at American Meadows & it's like I've never left! Well, not really, lol. This place is truly the one job that I've regretted leaving in the first place. But there just wasn't any upward movement back in 2013, even though they had just purchased High Country Gardens. I will say that I am doing the job I love (HR, PR, Benefits, etc) at a place that I love. I really lucked out with the timing of Casey having a baby & in a weird way with C19 & being furloughed. Words really cannot describe my happiness in being back here & those weird, regret dreams I use to have - totally done with.

Starting my own business. I realised that I can hack it no matter how much legislation there is. I built self confidence and belief in myself. I have a new sense of confidence and a new set of persistence towards my goals.

We became empty nesters. I have so many emotions around this: grateful that they’re ok and off thriving, very humbled by the path in front of me because I have to focus on myself or risk getting lost, and very nostalgic for the times when the 4 of us faced the world together as a really wonderful unit.

My solo road trip across the PNW. It's the most time I've spent alone with stranger reactions. It was the first time I ever felt like I had no endgame or definitive plan, and yet no sense of dread over that. It was the first time I truly felt alive.

Got a back tattoo to represent the protection of a biological mother who died too early to protect me in life.

Buying the house - the freedom it gave me. How happy having my own space and peace has made me. Turning a friendship with Matt into a relationship. He is so special and makes the house feel more like a home.

I got the Covid vaccine! It was eye opening to realize how being Covid conscious and respectful had permeated my life until I went to eat out after being fully vaccinated when I realized that I didn't have to select restaurants according to how they enforced mask wearing, although I still only spend my money where I see the behavior aligning with my values.

...huh Where the F***ING F*** do I even start? I feel like it's been either two weeks or two decades, sometimes both, and picking out one temporal experience feels grotesquely reductive. All I can really think of is... to rule out areas of personal growth, introspection, relationship progression and regression, insights both sacred and profane. Pragmatic and practical answers only. That's a heavy enough sieve to get me unstuck with a manageable dataset. I GOT OUT OF THE BAY I FINALLY DID IT A decade+ of false starts and aborted attempts and mal-adaptive coping strategies later, I'm in a different county, hundreds of miles from ghosts and saboteurs and "the twins": the cursed miasma of what feels like a funeral procession of an analog parasocial ossuary, and its maudlin, tar-soaked confidante of magical thinking/toxic nostalgia. The ocean feels more expansive. The sky feels wider. The dread feels like a fading echo. Unless there's some unknown corollary to peripheral vision at lower latitudes, I can sit quietly and see the infinities quietly building building building and smoothing over the void, bridging the abyss, the everythingness incrementally devouring the nothingness. I have no home, I have an ephemeral address and I have a heart still tethered to a place farther back than it seems and I have a storage unit full of more tchotchkes and ephemera than Objects of Measurable Utility. I don't feel home, but I feel halfway there and this is the farthest I've ever made it. I did something brave, something bold, I took a calculated risk, and it is paying off handsomely. I cannot help but be viscerally changed by my immediate surroundings, and against all odds I am becoming more myself, more of what I would describe as a version of the best version of myself.

In this past year, I celebrated my 50th birthday. I was weirdly relieved that a physical party was impossible. It seemed crazy to spend thousands on a party when I knew that I wouldn’t have a chance for quality time with anyone. Instead, I invited the people who might have been at my party to send me letters about their ageing experience (either their own or someone important to them) and what they see in me that will age well. Both Patricia and Sabina gave me encouragement and feedback. Off the emails went. I received 100 letters! Some were jokey, but most were meaningful. I’ve read them only once, and I was stunned for days. I know I need to come back around to read them because it was only a first pass, but they told me something very significant. They said: all that you have been striving to be, you already are. I felt like I could lay down my struggle. I am already seen and understood and adored as I am.

My mother died, peacefully & unexpectedly. It's only 10 days ago, & I only got up from shiva this morning, so I can't yet say how it's affected me. My aunt passed away a month before that, & the two family sorrows have already (as always) bound my extended family even more tightly. I'm sure there have been other experiences that I've had more time to adjust to, but right now I can't remember further back than August 26.

In the last 18 months I have lost 2 mothers and 3 horses. All were in old age except the pony I bred who was only 12 and went before his time in horrid circumstances. I have learnt a lot about dealing with grief so losing my Mum in July was made easier and for that I am grateful. I am celebrating all their lives and creating happy neural pathways.

The daughter of some close friends was diagnosed with leukaemia aged 16. It is profoundly upsetting to watch them go through this and at the same time I am filled with admiration for them, how they are getting through it and their love for each other seems to be growing because of it.

We bought a single family home in Cambridge together. Grateful. There's so much I could write about it, but let me share a few random thoughts. It came together quickly and almost didn't happen. It is different to buy a house together than have had Alex move into my condo - even after the fire when we literally did everything over - and chose together - I think it's mostly to be free of the burden of the association making choices I didn't agree with. The house is wonderful, has lots of light, lots of space, an urban-sized backyard. It has good bones, and we can try different things. The neighborhood is wonderful and it's been great to explore together, alone, with Bobo. It's been a remarkable change.

In the last year, I started a Masters and changed job (again....) Too soon to know how I feel about the job, other than that it's intense and full on. I enjoy lots of parts of the Masters, but it's hard to balance it all in term time. Right now I'm organising Pride and our wedding as well, so I feel very overwhelmed.

I got engaged this year. What!? It really changed my life. I’m excited and a little stressed because wedding planning is hard but Jeff makes me feel safe and peaceful (most of the time haha.) I feel like I have a new family and that makes me happy.

This May 2021 I seek a therapist. And by June 2021, I decided to try learning UX design as my future career trajection. I took a UX introduction course at CareerFoundry and Coursera. In July, I joined the Hexagon UX community and join a hackathon. I also started Google UX certification from Coursera after I saw that I suit UX field quite well. I met some new people with whom I tried to build relations while learning UX, making my learning journey less lonely and less intimidating. Oh, I also had a new haircut, the shortest one I ever had. It's refreshing, yet now I know that short hair has their own problem. Like bed hair every morning, and spiky short hair when I tried to lie down. I also started learning Japanese using Minna no Nihongo book I. I found it feels relaxing when I learn with the textbook. I joined a free coaching session with Marta and feel that I don't feel much guilty anymore when I failed to stick to a new healthy habit. So it's easier for me to return doing it again when I failed to do so before. 18th September I finished HexHouston Hackathon series. Even tho it's only 2 of us left, we made it and I'm glad our design got positive responses from the audiences. (Thanks Gabi for sticking with me until the end even tho she joined in the mid of the hackathon). On 26th Sept they will announce the community choice winner. I don't think my team would win. It would be nice to win (a pleasant addition to my future portfolio). But so far, I feel the learning process is quite rewarding. I also see innovation from other teams who took part and see the beauty of iterative processes toward perfection. Even tho the uncertainty of this path is still intimidating for me, I planned to persevere in this path and see how things unfold. It feels like a long, long time since I decided to follow something I choose logically by myself. I'm grateful I have the chance to try this path.

My Grandmothers both died in the last year. I knew I'd been so lucky to have them still alive, but I wasn't prepared for how hard that would be. I hadn't understood how fortunate I was to have them, to come from them, to have been loved by them. They were bright spots in my childhood, and though I thought I was doing a good job visiting whenever I was home, calling and sending cards from time to time, I know now that for myself I needed a lot more. I hate that I learned it this way. I hate how often I let the people who I owed the most gratitude had to guess the extent of my love for them. I'm not sure how I'm bringing this into my life now. I'm trying with my other family members, but I am more stretched thin than ever, and I know that's not how I want to live.

We moved across the country. I feel all sorts of emotions - but the question is, how did it affect me? It made me realize that despite craving more community before we left, we actually had dear friends and deep relationships with the place... which we now miss tremendously. I am grateful that we moved - but also grateful for the opportunity to reflect on what a good gig we had before. Not resentful. I think the move was a good catalyst for moving forward & figuring out what is important.

I haven't given enough time to 10Q this year. Read: I haven't given any time at all. I'm at the start of a doctoral program where I've been asked to reflect and examine and introspect until I'm blue in the face. I don't know what I have left in the tank right now. Honestly, all I've been doing this year is reflecting. Significant experience? Being with my family, doing nothing. That's been significant. I understand better that doing "nothing" is quite something that I treasure deeply. But no, I haven't thought enough or reflected deeply enough to answer these questions. I've been seeing the daily notifications and procrastinating until now it's time to close the vault.

My dad retired. I didn't think it would impact me, but it did. I realized how comforting it was to know that a community out there in the world cared about me, even though many of them had never met me. Without him in a pastoral position, it makes me feel like everyone else.

My wife and I had a miscarriage this past year. It happened very early in her pregnancy. I feel we haven't had the chance together to process it and it has caused a deep tension on us both.

I am growing in confidence, small steps showing big results

Returning to the classroom in Spring 2021. I realized I much more enjoy in-person instruction than even virtual instruction. And one of my Honors students said he had ADHD and that being in the classroom--even for 1 class of 5--was helpful for him to re-engage with material. I'm not sure if he would've found it the same with me personally, virtually, but also it didn't matter because I know it's easier to be me in-person (ie, walking around the front of a class) than online.

Getting vaccinated. Once we were vaccinated I felt a great sense of relief.

I fell out with Nic and Natalie. This is a significant change to my social life. While there is some hurt feelings, there is also a kind or relief borne from the understanding that the relationship had been trending badly, and that my new found capacity to set and enforce boundaries actually worked for the better, even if, like with a lot of growing experiences, it did so with some pain and loss involved.

The experience of teaching in a pandemic. It was very intense -- frightening at times - when there was no vaccine and I was afraid to go back, when we had zoom intruders, etc. I worried for Mark and Mom especially. Other issues were trying to relate to kids via a screen. Sometimes it felt very intimate and personal, other times when I couldn't see the kids it was frustrating. I found myself caring very deeply.

Well I got into medical school and started in July! I moved back to Auburn and am living in a house with a roommate now. I also completed my yoga teacher training certification, although I had to graduate a month early since I was moving for school. I am grateful to have started med school, but this is so hard. I knew it would be, but wow. I am one week away from the end of the 1st block and I am answering these questions to avoid studying because I am sooooo tired of studying. I know this won't get easier, but I really hope I get better at this.

I had major scalp cancer surgery and am so grateful that all of the cancer was removed and that the wound, although ruptured, is healing. I'm relieved! And I'm grateful that our synagogues had virtual services so I could keep on attending them.

I feel like nothing has really happened, but that's not true, is it? Getting Covid in November 2020 was very significant. I ended up with long Covid until I got my vaccine at the end of February, but truthfully it has been a difficult road back. I put on 20 pounds in the past year and I lost my running fitness. I got very depressed and lost interest in everything. I'm better now, especially since I started working again this fall, but the really difficult part was realizing how crap everything had gotten. It happened so naturally and gradually after my Covid diagnosis that I just started living my life in a different way. And that different way was unhealthy and lonely and sad, but only just so.

Jasmine and I broke up. And it's been both the best thing and the hardest thing that I've ever done. I still very much feel lost and sad and heartbroken a lot of the time, but I also feel so happy and grateful and full of life too, sometimes at the same time. I'm both inspired to see what comes next and very anxious about the prospect of having to figure everything out and work it all out. I know it'll all be ok, but the journey is still a bitch sometimes.

Redundancy made me feel all the feelings, undergo a huge amount of personal growth, reassess what I actually want my life to be like, and take steps to change the way I spend my time every day.

Started new role, and it's good. Grateful for that.

Being pregnant, finding out there was something wrong with the fetus, undergoing the surgical procedure, grieving. The loss stays with me - and always will - but I’m grateful for my husband’s persevering support. I’m grateful to know I can pass through an ordeal like that and come out stronger on the other side, more intimate with the workings of grief and what a miracle it is to bring a new life into the world.

The flood. A pipe inside the wall of the kitchen burst at 5 AM, Feb 14, 2021, flooding nearly the entire apartment. It was unstoppable. My 10 year old and I had to evacuate. The scenes at 6 AM with the neighbors and the FDNY in the flooded hall was hilarious and terrible. It traumatized me. It set me back months and gave me new problems. It created a giant mess, and has thwarted my efforts to clean this place and move on in life. It's just one of so many setbacks, so many not of my doing.

After a horrific experience at my previous work place where I was subjected to discrimination, pushed out for speaking up and treated overall horribly I had to walk out/ leave it during the beginning of the pandemic. Life was very uncertain back then (and I took comfort in the fact that I wasn't alone but it's still shit scary). I wasn't sure if I'd be able to find a good job and be financially stable. After doing a few short gigs I found a work place (especially team and manager) who value and appreciate me. Their confidence in my ability has made me a more capable human. I've never experienced a work place where I'm cared for so deeply and I'm so so grateful and relieved for this.

I met my partner this year. He is someone who I have been working to manifest forever! I worked with a relationship coach, whom I truly respect, and she helped me get clear on the kind of relationship I want to have. More importantly, the kind of woman I want to be that attracts what I want, and to celebrate myself in the process of dating. With a man I truly love in my life, I feel more like myself. I find my love and heart-centeredness flows more easily from my being. I am so grateful for the magic we have created together so far, and what magic we will continue to manifest when we are together. I am relieved that this search is over, and that I can now focus on other areas of my life, like how I want to be more of an artist and express myself more deeply. Sometimes I am resentful that it required this kind of love from outside myself, and that I need to rely on a man to complete some aspect of me that I have been trying to cultivate. But overall, I am feeling inspired to be more of me, to express more of me, and to finally create a life where I can be the woman I want to be, become a mother, and start to plant the seeds of building a family.

Living through another year of the pandemic is an ongoing significant experience. Learning to deal with anxiety and risk-assessment, uncertainty, and the stress of juggling childcare and work when our nanny got COVID or there was a positive case at the school. It made me feel both grateful for all the layers of privilege that buffered us from the harshest impacts of COVID (death, sickness, loss of work), and also exhausted. Deeply exhausted from raising two small children in an scary world.

A significant experience has definitely been related to almost getting kicked out of GLOCAL For not handing in my Program Seminar Paper on time. I am quite regretful about how I handled this situation but I do believe that from it I have possibly come out on the other side better and I hope that it will prevent further things from happening to me like this and that I can manage everything in my life better.

I joined a pilot project with Luminary - Curated Connections - and met a person who will become a longtime friend and business ally. It reminded me that connecting with people is the answer to everything.

The first thing that comes to mind is the approval and rollout of the COVID-19 vaccination. It was such a surreal experience to be part of a mass vaccination process and never did I think I would be going to the state fairgrounds to get a vaccine! I am definitely grateful that it allowed me to be able to get together with family and friends in person again with a little bit less worry and anxiety. I do feel resentful though about those people who refuse to get it. They are the main reason we now have the Delta variant and are STILL dealing with this pandemic.

Covid happened. At first it was really exciting. It was a form of rebirth for me. I was inspired with many things and I happened to inspire people too. Fast forward several months later, I feel overwhelmed and depressed again. I see no hope of rebirth. No sense of purpose until I moved to my new house! That changed my life dramatically. I am so relieved for this change.

I'd say something significant that happened, wasn't a good thing at all. It was very sad and eye opening. My niece who is 15, her almost 17 year old boyfriend took his life. And having been around them/him you never would of thought that would have taken place. He was ALWAYS smiling, He was like a light, such a bright soul that left way before his time. Which caused her to have thoughts of doing the same which put her in the hospital for about a week. She asked for help, so brave and strong by doing so. Shes doing great now, she of course still misses him. Heres the thing that really got to me as well. When he was in a coma for a couple days, i felt his presence soo strong. I mean like taje my breath away strong. About 3 months after he passed I had a group session with a medium, my 1st time with her. And she came to me. When she did, she asked me who the young soul standing by me that left this world too soon was. Said he was comfortable with me and how i can talk to her and do talk to her about life, his death etc. Said he appreciated it and said there was just too much going on that he just couldnt grasp or get control of? Mental issues etc. I was hooing to connect with my father that passed a year prior so i was pretty much in shock when he came forward. It was an experience i will never forget. Oh and nowhere did i post about his death tag her or anyone in posts. I havent used ot posted on my social media (Instagram, Facebook) in a year but maybe a selfie once. It affected me because i wished ida known and could of tried to help him, although i dont think anyone could of because it wasnt his first attempt. Only he succeeded that time. But i wasnt aware of times before that he hadn't succeeded. But just makes you want to always help where you can, be kind, never go out of your way to make anyone feel bad or intentionally hurt anyone. Just always do your hest to be kind, yiu never know who needs it or who may not be here tomorrow.

I became a mother when I gave birth to my son Tolle Ezekiel Hartman on October 7, 2020. 10 years ago I couldn't envision this happening. I was coming out of a deep depression and had a very limited view of what my life could be like or what I deserved. But a lot had changed since then. I have had many tools to aid my healing, and I'm grateful for and proud of the life I have created. I see motherhood as starting once I found out I was pregnant in January 2020. It was a relatively easy pregnancy until the end when Tolle was breech and then flipped and then went breech again and then labor had to be induced in the hospital. I learned a lot about myself, and had a really hard lesson in letting go of my plans. It worked out beautifully all things considered. I also became closer to my husband in the pregnancy, labor and new parenthood process. I am a natural at being a mother. The role really does suit me. I am incredibly in awe of my body (and all women's bodies) and what it can do. I'm also so impressed also with my little one and how he has grown with breastfeeding and our nurturing. I'm struggling with the effects of parenthood and covid on my time and my marriage. I am an introvert who loves times to myself. That was great during covid and pregnancy. I do not get much time to myself anymore. If there is any it's at work or in the car or while my son sleeps and nurses. My husband and I don't get much time together and when we do we're exhausted. It's a major shift that is hard to adapt to and makes me sad. I hope we can learn techniques to stay better connected and in tune with one another.

My confidence at work has increased because I have been able to focus more on my position and responsibilities - I still allow myself to be pulled in too many directions.

We got vaxxed as soon as we possibly could which was an immense relief.

My father passed away in April 2021. It was difficult needless to say but I was relieved his pain and suffering was over and he went to be with Mom. His dementia had changed him in many ways and he was not the same person I knew growing up. I know I will miss him but will see him again.

January 6th, 202 left me shaken and scared and with a new level of anxiety I hadn't thought possible, even though the previous 4-5 years had seemed to increase my anxiety on almost a daily basis. I watched the news with dread, physically ill from what I was hearing and seeing. Suddenly being able to flee with my daughter was something I needed to seriously consider. Where would we go? What were our absolute minimum needs of things to take? While my anxiety may have dropped from that week, it still remains as I realize that this is no longer the country I knew growing up. I would jump at the chance to become an expat.

I have had several medical issues, which could have had serious ramifications. I had tissue removed from my right thigh in September 2020 and from my right arm in February 2021, which were later diagnosed as being melanoma (Stage 0 and Stage 1). I also fell on the pavement and bruised both hands in the area of the lower palm/wrist. Given that I have been treated for two decades for osteopenia/osteoporosis with oral medication and commencing this year with Reclast, an infusion, I needed to have an X-ray to rule out a break or fracture in the area. The X-ray revealed that I had not broken nor fractured the area, but that it found that I had osteoarthritis in my hands. I visited my family in Denver, CO in August, 2021 and noticed smoke in the air. I was unable to see the Rocky Mountains as well as downtown Denver from their home. The air quality was extremely hazardous. With reactive airways, I chose not to go out of the house until the air quality was in the moderate range, which ended up being only several days of my ten day visit. These issues underscored that my body is less resilient and more reactive as I am aging. Even though I am relatively good health, I must be more conscious of how I exercise, breath, walk, eat, sleep; I must be vigilant in my awareness of the changes to my body.

I fixed up our house in Maryland that we lived in for 30 years. I had to work, work on the house, and deal with workmen. I did more to the house than I needed to. I installed new radiator grates that I had wanted for years, painted, and re-did the door hardware. I was amazed at how easy and how nice it was to have all the doors shut solidly. In a way, I got to fix up the house the way I wanted, even if we didn't get to live in it. I learned, if I am going to have to fix up the house to sell, I might as well do it while we are living in it, then we can enjoy it. We did leave a better house for the buyers and better neighbors for our community.

This year I took a vacation with Jeanne and we went to Vermont. The weather was beautiful, and the airbnb that we stayed at was a sweet cabin with a view of the mountains. It wasn't the most modern of places, but the hosts were very nice and it was comfortable. How did it affect me? I cried when I dropped her off at the airport, and for a few minutes later as I drove away. I don't cry at goodbyes, but I was overwhelmed by the love and support and silliness that we had shared for those six days and devastated that it was ending. I have missed her for years, but this year I miss her so much more. I want to say that I am grateful for the time we had together, so I will. But the time illuminated the gaping hole in my life that is her absence. On opposite coasts, we are much too far apart.

The house. The house. Refinishing our "million dollar fixer upper." The entire winter disappeared under waves of chaos that came and went, came and stayed. Emptied bedrooms filled the living room with a motley assortment of treasures and junk. Weeks and weeks of ripping up carpets (hurray!!!), agonizing over paint colors (most of which weren't quite perfect), laying down of gorgeous eucalyptus flooring, returning the furnishings and reordering the bedroom and front room. All art rehung in new locations. Hours were spent putting together my new file cabinet and desk (what WAS I thinking?!?!), going through years of files (keeping too much) but finally coming to order in my office with the only wall colors I have yet to love. The summer buried under kitchen remodel plans and deciding, deciding, deciding until the project to be completed in the summer will now be done in November (and likely to show up in next year's 10 Q!) Every day I walk down the wooded hallway and revel in the beauty of the wood, the arrangement of art, the home feeling more home every day. The queen of my castle and grounds.

oh, I wrote a bunch and then forgot to save it! Before the intro to Meghan's yoga immersion that will be all this week. Significance. So much depends upon where you are when you get asked this question. What happened right before. Because before I'd written about how significant experiences get buried all the time by others; they get forgotten, because especially for me, things don't especially stick in my memory. It's significant, that, when talking about answering questions like this. It;'s just for me, not for anyone else. It's not performative, remember. this is a sticky point, it always feels such. Significant only if it was witnessed by someone else. Only if it's recorded for posterity. We used to throw that word around a lot. Now, posterity seems like a cruel joke. A naive notion. I was thinking of how it was significant when I brought the basket of warm clothes and blankets to the homeless encampment under the bridge off Water Ave. Significant because it was something I wouldn't normally do. I'd be too anxious to actually do it. To look these people in the eye from my position in life and offer them something I was not in need of. Because I have so much, I can afford to give lots of it away. The realization of my place, the reminder of the crazy inequality we're dealing with. Going to the coffee shop afterwards, feeling wobbly from coming into narrow contact with people who have to live with much much less. And at the adorably too cool for school cafe, it was reclaimed wood countertops and clean and crisp shiny new orderly world. Such overpriced things. Just across the street. Having to swallow that. Soften toward a group of people we usually steel ourselves against. All the other significant experiences, maybe I don't remember them now, but there have been so many. Mostly uncomfortable, if I think about it. Doing those things that grow me, enlarge me in my courage. Small things can take so much courage.

THE 2020 ELECTION. So very grateful that Trump lost. Democrats are back in the White House. First woman (and of color) elected Vice President. I’m relieved and hopeful but concerned that the country is ungovernable. The actions of the Republican Party are unconscionable and irredeemable. While I’m thrilled that Trump is out of office, he has unleashed the lunatics and our nation is crippled by the division of sane vs. insane— Government vs. anti-government. I remain fearful for our future as a democratic society. (Don’t show my name, because that’s how crazy America has become. I don’t want to be targeted. How did we get to this point in a “free” society??

This year I completed my master’s degree. It was exciting and relieving to accomplish. I am grateful it coincides with the start of a shmita year, I will be examining ways to live my values, and what potential career paths can be aligned with them.

Personally, the kids came to visit us at the beach for my birthday in June. I hadn't seen two of them in nearly 2 years and the 3rd in over a year... and then only briefly. I was so grateful to have that little bit of time with them, but really jealous of people who get to see their kids often, even in the midst of a pandemic. When we all scattered, I thought as long as we had money to travel to see each other, the distance wouldn't be too bad. In times of a pandemic, it's terrible.

My cataract operation. It has been a new experience after years of fear of doctors and hospitals. I had to do it after i almost lost my vision. Having it treated made a quality leap in my health and life. My eye doctor discovered my iron deficiency anemia. once treated my health boomed.

I experienced the feeling of "enough" to have enough, be enough, do enough. To no need anything. It was for a few hours and I feel more connected than ever before to allowing that feeling to wash over me in moments of fear, insecurity, and anxiety. I already have what i'm looking for. It feels so beautiful

We moved back to Cambridge and resumed our lives there! I'm very grateful for the community we've built here that embraced our return.

A fresh, new significant experience: 2 days ago, I married Ashleigh in a beautiful room covered in murals and dark wood, reading our vows from cards we had made, our officiant gazing meaningfully at us with her huge eyes. It was genuinely perfect, although our relationship feels the same as it did before. We've vowed these vows to each other in myriad ways before, this time involved a few more people and a signature. We were giddy that it all worked out after having to cancel the dates twice before due to covid, and that it was so lovely was just icing on the cake. I feel grateful to have this partner, who matches me so perfectly, and I am curious to find how being a wife affects my self-image.

Does December 4th 2020 count? That was the day of my bike accident, the start of my horribilis annus, which I hope ended with the death of my beloved brother Phil on August 2, 2021. In between there was recovery and medical discovery, including 6 months of med leave, 3 months (six weeks total in Ann Arbor) of which were being advocate and witness to Phil’s demise. Oh yeah, and Covid. And to top it off, after Phil’s death, such a bumpy reentry to my job that I up and retired - as of December 2021. So that’s my year. What am I feeling, you ask, 10q? I suppose the biggest word is changed. Changed, grateful, wiser, calmer, wistful, full of endings waiting for a new beginning to grow to seeable size.

I lost 40 lbs and settled at a weight I was when i was young and rampaging SF. I realized that i had been stubbornly holding onto an idea that me trying to be fit was a betrayal to my nature somehow, that if i cared for my body that it was vain. But the truth is i want to live a long time and feel good in this body. It carries my soul and I should respect and appreciate it. I really want to keep that going even when i become a mom. I have to make it a priority. I resent myself for being so stubborn but also now understand some of my own patterns. I would stuff myself to discomfort because i was uncomfortable, because i had given up on caring about consequences. When i lost the weight i set a goal: i wanted to show myself and others that i am capable of achieving my goals and that i have control and discipline. I also went back to being a student this year, i took psychology and anatomy, i worked hard. I realized that i am intelligent, that my years have afforded me some wisdom, and that i have limitations too that it helps to be aware of. Self awareness is the overall lesson of this year. Being aware of my thoughts, my feelings, my body, my actions. I want to stay present and aware, to keep tackling my patterns and work towards having anxiety be less powerful over me. I want to remember to enjoy the moment even when the moment requires my full effort.

Chris left his job in November and I am absolutely delighted for it! It's probably about five years too late if we're being completely honest (and I think he would probably admit this too). Whilst I wouldn't say that it has been a silver bullet in any sense - he still feels (or seems to me to feel) low sometimes, but I think his (and our!) quality of life is immeasurably improved. It's also really made me think about what I want for my working life - do I want to be stressed and anxious all the time? How can I move away from a life that makes me feel that way? So I guess this is making me feel grateful and relieved (for Chris's improved quality of life and mental health) and inspired (to think about a similar move for myself).

The last election and the pandemic both changed the way I see other people. Some people are willing to hold tight their thread in the social fabric; others assume the majority will do the work while they slack; and some actively tear at that fabric. I am overwhelmingly sad that many of the people I considered friends, people I respected, seem to fall into the latter two categories. I'm not sure how to sustain a friendship, knowing this about them. I seek to see the world from their perspective, but that's not been an endeavor that has brought either peace or understanding.

A pretty awesome thing comes to mind: In March for my mine and my brother's birthday, we took a road trip to DC to get outta town for the day and the night. This was really significant because after going through my traumatic anxiety experience the year before (2019) in May, it was extremely difficult to see myself doing something like taking a road trip that far away on a whim like that. I'm so glad we did that. We had a great time zippin' around the city on those electric scooters. We had some beers, great food, saw the sights, and took some nice photos.

Wow… just one? My former partner of 18 years passed away due to cancer. We had not seen each other in the four years since she drove away with her new “boyfriend” (she had become an alcoholic and was spending days/weeks on the streets and met this person while on a bender). I learned about via a social media post from her daughter. When my friends asked if I was ok, I said, “I’m fine. She made her decisions. It’s sad but it is what it is.” A few days later I was scrolling through some pictures and one of hers popped up. Totally lost it. Cried for hours. I was angry… angry that she was gone, angry that she refused help for so long, angry she left, just angry. Most of all, I was angry that I had to mourn her loss for a second time. I thought I had processed all those feelings but apparently not.

The death of TZV. It had to die. It was no longer a passion. I am happy to let it slip away.

Jessica Bender died suddenly. I can't believe how heartbroken I felt over someone I didn't know all that well. But I really looked up to her and envied the life she had. She was not only a talented designer, but a deeply good, down-to-earth human with her priorities in the right place. She did a service project every week in the beginning of the pandemic. She loved her new baby and her dogs and being outdoors. She had integrity. She had great style—this beautiful blend of feminine and masculine and mostly didn't wear make up. And I loved her design sensibility and approach. She had a big influence on me. It really shook me to hear that she was gone. It made me want to stop worrying so much about what everyone else thinks and go after my own deepest desires.

Covid! It's just a pall over the entire year -- enough changes already (graduation, new job in new field), everything is new without also having to limit my coping mechanisms thanks.

R: On the one hand, I don't want to keep talking about COVID. On the other hand, it does seem to be the most significant thing going on. Everything else xseems dependent upon it. On the one hand, I am inspired and greateful that there is research already on going that led to the various vaccines for COVID-19. On the other hand, I am greatly saddened by not only the anti-vaxxers, but by the people who are following this mindset of -resistance to the science that is meant to keep people from getting COVID. That means vaccinations, that means masks, that means social distancing, that means testing. And I am really shocked and saddened that there are people that I know who refuse to get vaccinated. People who I feel are intelligent, self aware, and somewhat liberal minded. J: I lost my job. That didn't happen until June/July. I'm devastated. It's three months later and I haven't been able to move on getting a new job at all. I thought I would be there until I retired. But it is arguably more significant that I MOVED IN WITH MY BOYFRIEND. And actually, that I moved at all. First time in ten years. Out of my studio. And all of those things clustered in a two or three month period. So I am feeling all sorts of things.

So many things happened this year. It was a fucking roller coaster, and that's putting fucking Covid to the side. I don't want to directly say what happened, because I will forever know and remember, but my therapist pretty much blew up my life. I mean, in a way it was good, but it was very very very bad. It got super dark, and it still is kinda dark, the clouds are still hovering, it's just not as black as it was. I'm not sure which is the right direction to get to clear skies on this journey. There's that. Umm, I uh, was contacted to be a contestant on a baking competition, i immediately thought, oh hell no, but at the time I was working on self confidence and kicking doubt to the curb, and my husband and mom also kicked my ass, so I figured why not try out. I got accepted and I went to this competition. What a shit show of a roller coaster that was! Coming off of the explosion my therapist created, the bit of any semblance of confidence I had built was torn to shreds, obliterated, incinerated. It was a definite struggle the first week there. I learned when I stopped caring I was doing fairly well. Anyways, I made it through 5 challenges, out of 8. I shouldn't have lasted that long. It was a great experience in that it helped reignite my passion, motivation to learn more and do more in my profession. I want to grow more. Anyways, catch me in November :) So, this year was complete shit, with a few bouts of rays of sunshine. I'm kind of still left just as confused as I was last year. I feel like every day the answer is screaming inside my head, I'm just too scared to listen to it.

My friend died. I am sad. It is not fair. I want to laugh again with her!

Falling in love with Katie. I can only say that it has been the greatest gift for me in my life. To hand yourself over to someone, and truly exist with them in the world is a beautiful event in life. Yet, one is caught in the mystery of that person; looking to discover more about her and oneself.

I gave birth! Parenthood has completely changed me, and I don't think I even know all the ways yet. The birth itself was traumatic. Zahava's heart issues (which aren't resolved yet) which led to the emergency C-section, my own heart issues, spinal headache & blood patch, rash and blood pressure. It was overwhelming. In those early moments I remember feeling both the most happy and like I was in deep on the hardest thing I'd ever been through. I am deeply grateful to be healthy and that my daughter is here with me, napping in the other room. She has brought a depth of feeling I didn't know possible, so joy and wonder. I also have some anger about how it happened, and loss for the way I had imagined pregnancy to go.

I got married!! In the middle of a friggin pandemic!! I'm so grateful for vaccines and all of the people and things that allowed it to happen and to happen safely. I'm feeling relieved that everyone stayed healthy, hopeful for the future of our marriage, and incredibly fortunate.

My twin boys became B'nai Mitzvah; their Torah portion was the same as my dad's when he became bar mitzvah almost 7 decades ago. While we had originally anticipated marking this occasion at Hillel on the university campus near our home, due to COVID, we convened about 20 people at our home. The smaller, more intimate gathering enabled me to experience this Simcha in a meaningful and moving manner for which I am grateful.

My friend's parents have emerged as mentors to me. i've felt so powerless so many times in my life that just having them around meant the world to me. when i was younger, i used to want to run away to them, and tell them all my problems, but i never felt like it was appropriate. I'm older and basically ran to them and told them all my problems. a small part of the 16 year old me rejoices, and says finally, somebody who sees me. they've stood by me time and time again, even without me asking. I feel so selfish to have made them do all this for me. I feel like I manipulated them into doing it even though i know I didn't. This relationship is surreal to me.

One of the most significant experiences of the past year was getting laid off from my first job. I had hated that job and fortunately had another role lined up, but at first it still made me feel failure on a personal level. After processing, I realized that the layoff showed me the culture around my old job - one of expected loyalty, face-time, and performative hustle - was a facade, and not something that would pay off in kind. It's pushed me to re-evaluate my relationship to work: no longer is my job the most defining characteristic about me, it's just a thing I do 9-to-5-ish. I feel more comfortable taking time off and making the rest of my life more of my priority.

The birth of my daughter is most definitely the most significant experience of the past year - but it shouldn't have happened yet. I know I never liked being pregnant and I know I should be grateful for how well she is doing (not even "considering her prematurity") but I am having a hard time accepting how quickly everything happened. I didn't have time to do a pregnancy photo shoot, I didn't have time to say goodbye to the pregnancy (as I went to the hospital thinking nothing was up, and I only realized we were having her an hour or so before she was born). I'm not planning on getting pregnant again, ever, so there are no do-overs. This part of my life is over and I didn't even realize it as it was ending. Still, having her in our life is the best thing ever.

I moved to San Francisco! It has been my dream to live in San Francisco for a long time, and I finally made it happen, albeit one year later than I had hoped due to the pandemic. I am happy that I made this leap and embarked on a new adventure. I definitely had a lot of emotional up and downs, most notably mild depression after I moved here which was suprising and new for me.

My most significant experience of the year was getting the COVID vaccine. My wife and I were vaccinated as soon as it became available to people in our age group. Our first post vaccination trip was to our favorite getaway, San Luis Obispo. We were able to celebrate our 36th anniversary in an almost normal fashion. Cliche as it may sound, it was if an oppressive weight had been lifted.

Getting COVID in February brought everything we had be fearful off this past year to life. The worst thing that could have happened, happened and we made it through, as a family, together. No one ended up on a ventilator, dad had some longer term wonkiness but overall there was a bit of a relief to not feel like I had to worry so much for a few months about getting or giving COVID.

just had surgery to remove a large kidney stone and was reminded how fragile one's current health situation can be sometimes. also how loving, considerate and helpful my husband is . . .priceless! as much as i was pleased to witness an all-female surgical team, i was appalled at the lack of privacy at wide-open and echoing registration desks, where i could hear everyone's cell phone number and birthday being recited.

I made it through COVID, a job reduction, a dead car and what some would say was another year of struggle. But, I have been able to pivot and am feeling the tiniest sense of control and hope.

My relationship with my daughter has become almost non-existent this year. She is struggling with emotional issues that I just don't know how to reach. I am resentful that she has turned to her online "friends" instead of me, that those relationships are so much more important than ours. Although I am struggling, I am going to continue to try and reach her. I am going to work on myself and how I interact with her. I pray for strength and wisdom from God and hope that he can bring peace to our family.

I got Covid 19 , it was very scary there were times I didn't know if I would make it. I was relieved when I turned the corner for the better. I know it was God that healed us am I am grateful . It still affects me the tiredness is bad.

Divorce papers signed! Relief and grief A little more freedom and healing Grateful

miscarriages. i am not sure i'll ever have kids

I went back to college and oh my gosh, what fun - even the hard class, Rhetoric. I am so happy that it's basically free and that I got a Pell grant to help with expenses.

Two things: I met David in December of 2019 and we started talking and then had our first date in January 2020. When the first lockdown happened, I kept him out of my "bubble" because he doesn't live with me and I am a rule-follower, but after 5 weeks of complete isolation, I realized how lonely I was and how necessary it was for me to have someone to share the experience with, so I let him into my bubble. We dated until August 2, 2021. I had to end it just before my birthday because his life has just been so terribly overturned by this pandemic -- his income, his family life, his living situation -- I haven't ever known him in times of thriving. I've only known him while he's in the midst of chaos and stress, and despite all that, he was still someone whose company I enjoy(ed). It just affected the quality of the relationship to the point where I knew it wasn't the right time for an "us". I hate that I'm in the thick of that post-breakup loneliness now. The other significant experience that happened was in January 2020 - a full year after my 3 consecutive PRP injections to heal my torn Achilles, I finally stopped feeling pain with walking or RUNNING. I could get back to running - which then let me know just how far my running fitness had slid. It's been a blessing in disguise for me that COVID-19 scrapped in-person racing plans for everyone; it's given me time to build some run fitness, learn about low heartrate (Zone 2) running, try a few track nights with my triathlon club and of course, now I'm slightly injured again -- this time, with my left calf muscle, I think. So, really - I need to work on daily mobility, activation and strength training to help prevent injury.

we bought a flat & I am pregnant ( please God due in April). It is both super exciting and overwhelming. And all happened in the last month. It is scary to think that we are really settling down. I am really unsure of what the future will hold. But apparently, I will have some permanent things.

I worked all the time for 6 moa straight. It made me leave my job - at least temporarily - and start to ask questions. I'm in a fortunate position moneywise so my question has become: why do we make the choices we do? Is it bc that's what's expected?

Got with a bunch of pretty girls. Had so much sex. Had sex with an old friend whom I have had dreams about. All this boosted my confidence massively. I visited my parents after a 2 year break. It got me thinking how sad it is that I don't see them much and that Otik doesn't see them much. But also that I should be thankful for the time that we do still have with them.

I spent last year not working, by choice. In the spring, I got a new contract, literally as my bank account ran dry. The "not working" is not strictly true. I spent the time building a product, but ran out of time/money to complete it. Now, there are many, many of the same products on the market. The getting the new contract was significant. I realize how fortunate I am to have the career that I do. I will understand my fortune better from now on.

Steven and I broke up. I felt so many emotions: relief, devastated, unbearable pain that seemed like it would never end, empowerment, content, a deep craving for intimacy, a sadness that I don't know when that will happen again and gratitude for my friends' and family's support, and for me following my gut and honoring my instinct.

'Breaking up' with H and realising how bad it really was. I'm so grateful that I have the hindsight to be able to see how much I was devaluing myself and my worth, not just because it led me to M, but just generally as a lesson to treat myself with more respect.

I lost Caesar my pup and my mom probably has dementia. I am saddened by both.

What was a significant experience this year? Oh boy. What a year of exhausting, demanding, overwhelming tedium. The biggest thing that happened was getting vaccinated. I feel like this is going to be the answer for about 90% of respondents this year. For us to get vaccinated was a game changer. It created a sense of optimism about a way out of this. It led us to believe that we couldn't transfer the virus to our children, which was the most important element of protection. We felt that we could start to emerge from our scary, safe cocoon.

Got divorced. I was relieved when it was done as it was a very difficult last two years of my relationship, which changed me as a person. The 16 months between separation and divorce enabled me to find myself again, live alone, and develop a relationship with someone I respect massively. I found happiness and the year ahead will be a great way for us to share that happiness in person together.

The person I love got engaged to someone else. It hurt me and shattered me. That happened a year ago and I still can’t stop thinking of it.

I finally let go of a 6 year, on-and-off-again relationship. I had been holding on so tight I didn't feel the rope burning through my hands. I couldn't feel it tethering my hopes and dreams to stillness. Now that I'm free, I feel weightless and unstoppable. I can see the emotional scars healing and making room for someone new. I will no longer settle for less than what I deserve. All I had to do was let go. I'm glad I did.

I learned my brother could ignore his health to the point of near-death, then demand, of himself, of clinicians, of systems, of us, to live. I know I join a legion of caregivers who have much longer tenures than I do (June 22, mark that day), and much more complicated outcomes, and I'm mindful honored ready exhausted battling an uncommon (for me) urge to flee furious But to be in a position to give, all in all, is better than not being in a position to give (something I now see all around me)

I am impressed by the eloquence of my answer from last year. All those significant experiences of a year ago are still applicable. A personal - and collective -- significant experience was being able to get vaccinated in February and March, and having our lives opened back up again to meeting friends, and travel - which I have made abundant use of. For the nation and the world, it was hugely significant that Joe Biden won the presidency and was finally inaugurated - after the unbelievable threat to democracy on January 6 - and Donald Trump finally receded from the public eye. No doubt to keep on spinning evil from behind the scenes; but still, life has changed immensely with him gone.

My family and I have managed to get through the year without loses to Covid. This has come at a cost but I am super grateful and relieved to have made it this far with my family and extended family intact.

I actively sought to find comfort in this stage of my career. Continuing to develop in place. Worrying less about what's next.

This year is kind of a blur, but I think I have two pretty significant experiences to share: moving out and being diagnosed with major depression. I'm grateful for both things actually. In some ways, being out of my mom's house is better for my mental health in the sense that I have more freedom and don't have to worry about potentially getting her sick. I can at least see friends without worrying. I'm grateful for being diagnosed with depression too. I'm grateful to be receiving treatment. Initially, I was wary of it, but my life has dramatically improved in just a few weeks because of it.

Because of the Covid-19 pandemic, I had postponed my bilateral excision of neuromas (in both feet) for what turned out to be about fifteen long months. These growths inside the balls of my feet caused painful cramping that often took up to five minutes to resolve in spite of my attempts to massage the areas. The surgery, performed in a local clinic recommended by my podiatrist, took only an hour. But the incisions took weeks to heal, and during much of that time, I was a couch potato. Positives from the experience: I have no more pain in the balls of my feet, physical therapy is improving my gait and balance so I can enjoy walking again, and I am grateful for the opportunity to have the surgery. I am also relieved, because I had been receiving cortisone shots for temporary relief from the painful cramping for way too long.

Participating in The Feminine Awakening. I am soooo grateful to myself for letting me do that. Yes it was a huge investement, but it's one I will benefit from for the rest of my life. I learned so much and i think i am finally myself. I speak my truth with more ease. I've let go of so much. Even got myself back to therapy once again. I'm proud. Having a burnout has had a great impact as well. It also made for these short answers as I dont hold the space to do this momentarily, but I did not want to leave it empty.

Well so I'm 31 weeks pregnant. The father is a man I barely knew this time last year. I'm grateful and relieved--apart from the sickness, one of the first things I noticed about being pregnant was being able to let go of that fear "What if it doesn't happen for me?!" but this is so not what I planned. I live far from where I think of as home. The father is a very nice man and I am fond of him, but it's not the life partnership I have dreamt of. I wonder often how much of this I chose.

Probably the most significant experience was traveling with Morgan. This was the first time I have ever traveled with a significant other and it made me more comfortable with the idea of her being the one.

Year 2 covid- filled me w closeness to my little family and luck and gratitude. And worry and anger and shame. Did i bring this on somehow? Iworked so hard to bring L here to the world and now the world i can offer is … not what i want

I had found a job with Giraffe design Build as Design manager. There was a lot of back stabbing and talking about each other behind their backs and manipulation. Such a bad environment that it was effecting me at home. I worked mostly for home so this was bad. Donald Trump was not re-elected but half the nation says the election was rigged. Sad.

Time. Recognizing that at my age time is limited. I look back in my life and recognize that there are things I regret not doing earlier. The phrase "the way you do anything is the way you do everything" seems appropriate here. For example, I am once again answering all of these questions on the same day at the same time rather than doing them day by day. So, let's see how did it affect me. I don't know the answer that question I guess I have to contemplated more. I always think that there's enough time to do everything sometime in the future, and I tend to trade off some current joy for the promise to do it right in the future. Better planning. I'm not resentful I am grateful that I have recognize that.

Our new rescue dog Millie had thirteen puppies! We have eight of them and I am grateful to be with the dear spirits and love them all, all nine dogs.

We moved to Vermont! I am extremely grateful. I feel my soul replenishing every time I look out on a beautiful sunrise, or watch the grass billow in the wind, or take a walk in the woods and smell the trees.

The pandemic, of course, has been the story of the year. The worst part for me was last winter, when I fell into a deep depression fueled by anger (directed at me) and anxiety (coming from me). It was horrid. I am relived that the worst of that feeling is over. I’ve had low periods but not like that. But I remain nervous about it happening again because I didn’t find great tactics for combatting it.

Building our home together on the house we recently purchased, with an addition to our little family - Chikoo! It's turned out life topsy-turvy (there are a lot of ups and downs) but our life is all the more colorful because of it.

My 29-year-old daughter got COVID, and has some long-term effects, though they are not severe. My 75-year-old sister-in-law got it too, fairly mildly. These both happened just before the vaccine became available. Now all my immediate family (and most of the extended) are vaccinated, and I am very relieved and thankful. However, I find I am also completely infuriated at the stupidity of the anti-vaxxer movement and the politicization of what should be a public health issue that EVERYONE supports.

I am extremely grateful and happy to be offered a well paying full-time job with a decent sized corporation doing what I like to do at the age of 66. I'd been trying for years to get back into the business after losing a BD position, but most of the time I got overlooked or lost out in the final cut. Divine providence gave me a start date on the 1st day of Rosh Hashanah.

Events in the running: Getting covid & giving it to my partner, Watching the vote certification and insurrection live, Road trip form Las V But the winner has to be my Aunt getting terminally ill from RealWaterTM. It's still really hard to talk about. We didn't even know what it was at the time. She was feeling ill and shaky, She was convinced to go to the ER when it didn't get better. My other aunt went with her, then went to work. By the time my mom arrived at lunch to check on her she was unresponsive. It started with acute non viral hepatitis of the liver but so many systems failed in short order. I booked a flight first thing in the morning. If you've been there i don't need to explain it. If you haven't I don't know that words can express what it's like. To sit by someone you've known your whole life, day after day, and have no idea if they even know you're there. Whose body is clearly alive, eyes open, but unresponsive. To not know If they're suffering. If they'll get better. If they're dying. To not know whats causing it all. It's one of the worst things I can imagine. Then to accept it, and start. to move on, and find out some did this. The killed my aunt to make a quick buck. Not even significant amount. They killed her to make maybe a few hundred dollars. I'm sick to my stomach. I'm outraged. I'm overcome with grief. I hope they burn in hell. It's not fair. It's not right. I hope they burn in hell.

At the age of 63 I believe I have met the love of my life.

Covid/delta continues. Feels like it won’t ever end. Feeling worried about family and friends who aren’t vaccinated and praying everyone stays safe.

Ongoing effort as trustee for my 3 sisters and I during this pandemic has been exhausting. I look forward to having time when this is all resolved to just pursue art and music.

There are many things... My mom passed away and I am annoyed and resentful and confused. She had a confusing place in my life--nurturing mom and toxic abuser. I don't know what to make of it. And yet I have regret for not talking to her for so many years. I don't know why I have guilt when she was so mentally ill...

I survived. I survived being alone. I survived getting Covid-19. I survived the rain and the snow. I survived the heat of summer with no air conditioner. It was a year of basically just getting by.

I met Ellie. She has changed my life significantly. I spend most every day with her.

In November 2020, I started a new job. It was a difficult decision to make and a long time in the making; it is not a position I want to remain in long-term, or even more than one year, but it was absolutely necessary for my sanity. My old job was toxic and horrible for my mental health. This new position has given me the break I needed to reassess and be able to think more clearly without the huge weight I had been carrying around for the last 5+ years.

Who knew when I first started answering these questions years ago that the answer to this one would be "world-wide pandemic"! I am indeed resentful about the loss of life, about the lack of preparation, about the mishandling, about the irresponsibility -- and about the seemingly unending nature of this thing! The world was hard enough before; is it possible for something good to come out of this situation? Will we ever learn?

My Sister-in Law dropped by with a honey cake at about 7am and I was still in my night clothes. I was not at all embarrassed. That is huge progress in terms of presentation and maintaing so-called standards My cancer-markers are rising and I might have to change drug. Also I will have to change my oncologist (Dr B has retired). Feel remarkably calm. Not much pain and no new pain.

Answering this question is difficult. I've been going back and forth on how to answer it. It's actually day 10 of 10Q and I'm trying to answer before the vault closes. It seems like the "little" things have become the "big" things and the "big" things have become "little" things.

Starting my new job at Emanuel. I’ve made some amazing friends through it but working in the hospital during COVID has been amazingly stressful. We’re at the point now where most of our COVID patients as unvaccinated and it’s just so frustrating and soul crushing.

Volunteering at Flourish Produce for 8 weeks. It marked a break with the isolation of the pandemic , it was a social challenge for me, it was a physical challenge for me. And I think of it with a big grin on my face! The most nourishing part is the people: I joined a cohort coming to an end - a premature end for Alycia thanks to Nick I now know. SongSoo I never really met, but enjoyed her ferments. Vinny who was Nick’s bosom buddy, Nick was adrift without him I think. Holly - a fine chef and ping pong player. Remember the proustian joy she had in my first lunch, garlic pasta ! Nicky and Adam and Nick and I made a team for a couple of weeks. Nicky and Adam -lovely people , continuing with their plans to teach in Korea despite the pandemic. I admire them for this and am inspired. Matt came for a quick week - I noticed him start to listen to my advice towards the end. And the pubs in Linton with him and Gemma and walking back at night - the first pub crawl I’ve had in ... years. Thanks to him and his appetites - asparagus! Transplanting - I am the planting queen! Gemma arrived the night we said goodbye to Nicky and Adam by the fire pit - we chatted and connected despite my awkwardness. She’s a star that one. Very bright, very energetic and warm. We’ll keep in touch. Gemma W arrived and seems to be on a similar journey to me. I didn’t get close to her. Shame. She came and went depending on her other commitments. A light in the group. The hardest week was Nick’s last week, the heatwave, him. Chris is a star. So knowledgeable, solid. Doing larping / historic role plays online. Quite an experienced wwoofer. We learnt from each other cooking = growing. He pushed me to learn how to Trellis tomatoes The best week was the week of Danny and Helene. The weather, the joy they radiate, Danny demonstrating scything. Helene helping me to forage flowers for focaccia. Drinks by the pizza oven - they are lovely. Bill and Ben rampaging across the fields that Friday - Ben and Danny fixing the fence. Lots of lovely memories. And Agnes - another admirable person. So experienced and knowledgeable. A feeder , delicious buffalo wings and jollof rice. And the day volunteers, staff, and of course the extraordinary Calixta herself. These people this community nourished me, inspired me and encouraged me - and named me Legend ! Thank you Flourish!

For the first 10 months of the pandemic (5780/5781), my mother and her partner lived with me and Daniel. As a direct result of that situation, I learned that my mother has a personality disorder. Narcissistic Personality Disorder, as a matter of fact. Classed in with Borderline Personality Disorder, psychopaths, and sociopaths. I am grateful to have learned this. This gift of knowledge has provided me with a structure with which to evaluate the behavioral and emotional issues I've struggled with for such a long time. With this context, I can finally begin to heal myself and my relationships with others. I grieve her childhood for her. I grieve the choices she chose and continues to choose to make with my sister and I, choices which have perpetuated our pain and which have handicapped our emotional growth. I grieve the person I might have been, and the person my sister might have been, if we had received the love that we have always and will always deserve. I grieve the choices I've made with Daniel as a result of my childhood abuse; and I resolve to understand and and change my behavior in order to be the mother he deserves.

I'm floored by the continued significance and insignificance of the past year. We've had so much continuous pain and so many moments of hope through this pandemic: from the quick creation, production and distribution of vaccines to the dissemination of so much false information and to the resistance of so many to accepting the scientific relief we need to move out of the pandemic. We have a new president. We had an insurrection. We left a twenty-year war. We watched that war do far more damage than good for anyone anywhere (except maybe warmongers). We saw suffering and strength and felt brief moments of reprieve at the potential for a shift. And yet we're still here, in the middle of the pandemic but in denial of it. I read that something like 1 in 500 Americans has died of COVID-19. I'm exhausted. Grateful for my little corner of the world, but truly exhausted by the world around it and in which it's enveloped. I'm resentful and worn. I'm frayed at all edges. I'm not sure what else there is of me anymore.

My child continued with their process of transitioning to their authentic self. This has been a struggle for me, not in terms of the transition itself, but the desire to spend more time at the home they "feel more comfortable at". This has led to increased depression for me, personally as well as a bit of strain in a once quite close relationship.

Grateful: 18 months into this whole ordeal with the COVID-19 pandemic still ravaging some countries, I'd be honest and say I have it rather well here despite the mundane. Spirituality: Plenty of internal struggles and self-reproach, at times I feel torn down, but again and again I'm rebuilt with time and the help from others. Such is the progress of learning and growth. Joy: After a year working at the studio, I've earned my promotion! While I'm happy to finally be able to bid goodbye to the title "junior", I'm experiencing the stress that comes with the progression as well. However scary it is, I'm enjoying it more than I'm afraid of it, and I hope to keep living this way. Confident: I've managed to keep my writing streak running up to day 281. This is a feat I've never attempted before, and that gave me the power to move forward with my other plans.

I got engaged to the love of my life Adam! I’m sooo thankful for this love and the day he proposed was the happiest day of my life. It was the amazing feeling of know I get to spend the rest of my life with this amazing human that I have so much fun and love with. I also went through a lot of personal growth and challenges with my mental health. I am thankful for my support structure and their support in helping me get through it. I am just present to being me.

I graduated college in the year of 5781 and that is absolutely one of the most (if not the most!) significant things to happen in the past year. I am definitely grateful, but I do not think I have been fully prepared for the inconsistent yet ever-present waves of feeling that underscore that gratitude. I am thankful that I was able to experience senior year on campus, that I was able to graduate and do so with honors and a degree I am proud of, that I grew close to people I know will be in my life for a long time, and that we did that TOGETHER. I am relieved of the burn-out and never-ending exhaustion that school wrought upon myself and my friends. I am sad that I no longer live with my best friends and the community I've built over the last four years. I am confused by the shifting, uncomfortable time of transition that feels as if I am a snake molting its skin. I am scared, frustrated, eager, languishing, wistful, joyful, confused. I am all of these things. But, I am also proud.

How do I even choose? I could talk about hysterectomy, about my other surgery, about moving (twice?), about love tried and failed, about re-entry into the world, or even about mom’s illness. But the reality is they’d all boil down to the same thing. The most important thing that’s happened for me in the last year is that I’ve completely re-defined family. It’s no longer about genetics - in fact, my family is exclusively non-related to me. The year has been impossible and it’s been wonderful. It’s been unbelievably hard, but I can’t really express how grateful I am to be (almost) rid of the “family” that’s held me back my whole life, and for the room it’s given me to bring my true Family closer to me.

I had a baby. It turned our world upside down. I'm so grateful for her. She is so perfect, she is so wonderful, she is so awesome. She also exposed so many cracks in my marriage, she changed everything. Some of it, not for the better.

My husband had a stroke last Yom Kippur. In the midst of COVID this made me even more tuned in to the fleetingness of time.

I got married to the love of my life. I am so grateful and inspired. I learned about myself and he taught me that I can change. He makes me want to be better, and with his help I become better. And likewise, I do the same for him.

CANCER!! When i received the diagnosis in December, i was angry at my doctor for not picking this up in 2019 when it might have been more easily treatable. The next feeling was resignation- I didn’t see how i could beat this, and I didn’t want my last months spent throwing up and in pain , so i was doubtful about treatment and figured hospice was my next stop. I now feel fortunate that i had a team of doctors with patience and the right tools to allow me to try treatment. As it turns out, they were right. My only real side effect was being tired all the time. The treatment plan soon showed encouraging results that resulted in where i am today with cancer undetectable. So at years end, i am hopeful for the future.

Nothing really jumps up but I was reading in quora about meditation and an answer had a warning saying if you reach a certain higher level of meditation, you will become desireless. That's had me thinking a lot about desire.

Our much anticipated trip to Alaska, as glorious as it was, was marred by discord, hurt feelings and concerns for the future. I’m focusing on learning and setting healthy boundaries.

The Great Resignation: nothing had a more positive impact than quitting my job, taking time off, and going back to a former employer. The ball was in my court and I am still grateful and relieved everyday.

I became an Oma (grandmother)! Having a granddaughter has been such a joy, and has deepened my relationship with my daughter as well as my husband.

I had so many significant experiences this past year. I experienced much loss. My grandmother Evelyn passed away on Fourth of July and we all found her when we went to visit her. I am grateful that we were all together in that moment on that day. I am grateful for her. I am grateful that we spent so much time with her in the past year and a half. I miss her greatly. Perhaps I am a bit inspired to be like her and to care about others the way she did.

I learned that someone that i had gone to college with died of COVID. It made me think about the end of days and legacy.

Our business ownership venture went belly up and my husband was out of work for a while. This was supposed to be for our retirement. We still haven't recovered financially from the move halfway across the country and we are heavily in debt. Somehow, this didn't break me. I have my moments, but a few years ago I'd have had a breakdown worrying about money. Probably for the first time in my life I had faith things would be OK. And they will be. He got another job out of the blue that also offers buy in to set ourselves up for retirement.

Significant experience was visiting with all of my siblings this year. It was only able to happen via a road trip that was nearly 6,000 miles with my mom and my 6yo. I felt grateful and lonely and nostalgic and sad. I'm grateful that those who are still alive are still alive, and that we have reconnected. I miss my dead siblings. I feel lonely because I can't see them regularly. I am nostalgic for the good times that were easier, even when they are short. I am sad that so much time has passed without them as a good part of my life. I feel guilty that my life is so relatively good.

My brother is dying. I am grieving, focused on building a community for George.

This year i came to the conclusion that i dont need a man to love me. This came after I tried to be more with a friend of mine. But then I found out he is bending backwards for a girl in Colombia,who doesnt give him the time of day. As a plus size straight woman; i often get associated with not being worth a relationship. So Ive realized that I dont need a man to be worthy. Even in the goal of one day being a mom I dont need a husband/boyfriend.

When I was young, an eye doctor speculated that one day I may be blind. As I've aged, my current ophthalmologist has assured me that is not true. But, when she presented me with an opportunity to have "Refractive Lens Replacement" and explained that this would forever correct my vision, I jumped at the opportunity. In February 2021, I underwent two eye surgeries. I no longer where glasses or any other sort of corrective lenses. I do occasionally need a 0.5 reader, but not too often. There are some struggles at certain distances that I am still trying to adapt to, and my night vision isn't stellar. But I feel that these small trade-offs are worth it. No glasses fogging after coming in from the cold outdoors. No steamy glasses while running. No uncomfortable face squishing while I'm trying to read in bed. There are so many other advantages. The procedure was quite expensive (a bit over $9k) and I'm still somewhat shocked and surprised that I did it, given that I am generally far too cheap to do something like that. I do think a lot of it relates to covid, being stuck at home, making decisions that are maybe a bit more rash than is my norm. It's probably not entirely logical to connect the two, but I do.

Sold my company. Broke up with a lot of people. Started working on my own project, called 'It is time'

Well, the biggest thing is the friendship I started cultivating with J and the way that has blossomed, just recently, into so much more than friendship. I am completely blown away. I never, ever dreamed this kind of big love would happen to me, and yet, here it is. It's pure grace, a gift, and I am so grateful.

I connected deeply, emotionally with a friend, who is not my spouse. This has led to massive confusion and questioning of what is right and wrong, how the world is supposed to work, the importance (or not) of social norms, and whether there are more important things than the quest for personal happiness.

I changed jobs and I feel so much lighter. I enjoy my job and feel appreciated by the people. It's made a huge difference and I feel relieved, grateful and empowered.

Carolyn Zaleski, after having vertigo, suffered a massive stroke and died the next day. Though she was 84, it was a shock. She was a delightful person, whom I admired. Besides playing on-line bridge, we exchanged jigsaw puzzles, a new passion for my husband & me. She taught me how to separate like-pieces on plates. Her Rossmoor condos decor was impeccable. She was my role model, who didn't say a bad word about anyone. I was so glad that I invited the three other ladies for lunch during COVID.

I got a job!!! I am so grateful and relieved, I feel like I’m truly where I’m meant to be :)

Taking on co-organizing the International Peer Respite Soteria Summit. Expands me, stretches me, keep hearing I'm doing good organizing, then hearing from frustrated people, so swayed. Learning that I think this is what organizing looks like. This is what it is.

My sister-in-law died of Covid last December. It has meant that her family, especially her husband and her daughter, are fragile. It means that Nelson and I are pulled away from our home and our lives to travel to be with them, and it has meant that we have gained a role in the family as quasi-grandparents, a precious gift.

Covid 19 happened this year which is very significant for everyone. I feel some relief, some resentment, and some gratitude. It really made us change my perspective on the world and how we live in it. I was relieved that change was presented to me rather than me having to make the hard decision. Resentful that I didn't have a choice and grateful for the slow down.

I had an abortion in January. It was hard on me leading up to it but I was so relieved after it was over. I'm very grateful I live in a country where I have access to these resources as I was definitely not ready for that step of my life and was in a very unhappy relationship at the time. It was the final push that I needed to end that relationship and I've been a lot happier and doing things I am passionate about since.

It irks me that this 1st question includes suggestions for emotions and responses, as if we were in a junior high English class. There are a myriad of experiences and at least an equivalent number of possible responses, and so what is the point of suggesting a puny 4 of them? The good thing about the question is that my answer came to me unbidden, and it was a new realization. The result of my mother's death is that I am less. Less connected, no longer having the role of daughter; less useful; less full. I am a lesser person. This effect is not the same as when my dad died, both of us much younger, when I felt that (and still feel that) part of me also died. I did not die, figuratively, when my 92-year-old mother died, but I became smaller, less consequential. I suppose perhaps every death, unless it is of one who oppressed or terribly constrained us, results in our becoming less, but I have not thought of that with other deaths.

I suppose getting vaccinated was significant. I feel a bit cheated since I actually didn't feel any great relief or anything. Rather it was an almost imperceptible relaxation. I know everyone is different. And of course, as the Delta variant popped up not too long after, some of the tension resumed and has made me alternately wary and comfortable.

I feel like I can't see the world through any other lens than my kids' mental illness. Maybe it's just because of the intensity of it right now, but it's all been so consuming. I'm just spent because of it, and don't see any way out of it. My 14-year old has been in such a good place lately so it feels like I should be able to believe that my 8-year old will get there, but I can't/don't. I also don't fully believe that she's out of the woods either despite doing well right now. I am so angry about the state of how we are collectively failing our children.

A step-granddaughter, unvaccinated, with asthma and not in the best physical shape, got COVID in August 2021 and was hospitalized for 11 nights. I am angry with her and with her overly-influential religious mother and political father and stepmother. She was able to go home with oxygen and was off that in about a week, but it is not clear yet if she will have long-term effects from COVID.

The most significant thing, for everyone, I think has been the continuing Covid pandemic. The lockdowns eased, but it's still with us, guidng our every move. It changed work, and school, and life, and social things. But it's changed itself - my parents came for a visit, and we've gone some places. Also, Annika's starting school! We have yet to see how that will play out, but it was a big deal for both her and us.

My dog sitting business has taken off, even with the pandemic. I realize how much I love dogs and taking care of all different types and different age dogs. It is heartwarming to see how much pet parents care so much about their fur babies. I didn't think I would be taking care of cats too, but it has been a wonderful experience to learn about and appreciate their uniqueness too.

Both an aunt and an uncle passed away this year. I could not go to either burial. I feel hurt, sad and a little guilty that I was selfish enough to choose keeping my family healthy over going and mourning with relatives and showing my cousins (each only children) that I was there for them.

I joined an artist development group for my singing career and honestly it’s been amazing. I’m learning sooo much about myself as a person and myself as an artist, especially that it’s kind of the same thing. I’m also learning just how much work is going to be required for the career that I want. I feel grateful and inspired in many ways, I also feel a little fearful but that’s because my dreams, which were so big and nebulous before, are starting to become more clear and defined.

This year I had an ectopic pregnancy. It was made more complicated by the fact that I was midway through an IVF cycle, so was pumped full of ovary swelling hormones. I couldn't understand how it was possible that I had conceived naturally. It was made more difficult because this was during the height of the covid pandemic, when no one could accompany you into hospitals, I was apart from Elliott for the first time, spending nearly a week in hospital. During those confusing and upsetting days in hospital, I was mostly incredibly grateful for the local friends that supported us with hospital rides and looking after Elliott etc, and for Elliott himself - our true miracle. I lost a fallopian tube through this process, but gained even more appreciation for what I have. However, the prospect of further prolonged fertility issues also depresses me. We have since had another failed round of IVF, years and years of my life and thousands of pounds have been poured into this effort. We have also resolved that we have one more round in us, by the end of 2021, if it hasn't happened - we will move on - appreciating fully the little family we have with Elliott.

I had a baby girl. She is the absolute light of my life. Becoming a mother is both the biggest change and most normal thing I’ve ever done. It’s incredible how many people do this and how life changing it feels. It felt like my universe expanded and shrank at the same time, a contraction of my world.

I started doing acupuncture oncology research. I am grateful to contribute to science and the goal of delivering meaningful and effective patient care to all those who need it. I feel scared sometimes in the face of so much suffering. I feel blessed to ease each patient's day a bit.

On March 22, 2021, I married my fiance for the last three years. At the time we were both miserable with each other. I was growing resentful that despite asking me to marry him he seemed to have no intention of following through with things, and that all he could do was blame me for the depression he'd experienced since losing his job right after we met, as well as for his anger towards me since I deserved it. I deserved it for being stupid, despite also being told I'm one of the smartest people he knows; an embarrassment, for not being Ivy-league educated or having a stellar career after losing my job at 30, in the midst of a pandemic, despite that he's derailed all of my plans to get a job. He often wanted us to work together (he works in sales) but would sabotage things every time we tried. He would wax poetic about how we would make such a wonderful team --making tons of money, investing, and retiring together, but then a week later would blow it all up by accusing me of coming into our shared corporate office "to spy" on him, saying that I was trying to control him, or that he felt that he wasn't allowed to have his own identity (I think everyone should feel comfortable in their own identity--but I also believe you should be upfront about what you want and adhere to that, rather than sending mixed signals to your partner. It helps to feel strong in who you are as a person, as well); I was deemed not sexy enough because I didn't dress in lingerie every night, or don campy schoolgirl outfits with pigtails, or roleplay. He was upset that I didn't want to strip for him, that I wasn't vocal enough in bed, that I didn't send him enough nudes, and complained that I was generally either not good in bed or the worst he'd ever slept with, depending on his mood. (I guess I was expected to make him feel wanted, despite all of the hatred, blame, and general unpleasantness he put onto me). My issues with his porn use and my disdain for our disconnected, dispassionate, performance-based sex and request for something more romantic, or loving, were either ignored entirely or met with great resistance. He complained that I wasn't making enough money while I was paying the majority of our household bills. Every week he deposited $50 into his crypto account and $50 into his stock accounts and often expressed to me that his checking accounts were overdrawn, even borrowing money from me on occasion. While he was saving for his future, I was expected to pay for the upkeep and improvements to our home, all of my own bills, plus his cell phone and health insurance (and save for our emergency fund, pay for half of our date nights, invest in the market, and save for retirement). My notion was that we'd been together for three years and with no moving forward it seemed like the writing was on the wall and there was no sense in wasting more time together. When I expressed to him that I needed to know where our relationship was going, he made a hail-mary and suggested eloping on our fourth anniversary. I agreed because despite our issues and differences I genuinely love and care for him, and wanted that milestone with the man. Even if we end up annulling our marriage, I wanted to have that experience. Of marrying him, and of being his wife, and having him as my husband. I'd never wanted it with anyone else, and it was important to me. Fast forward to today, we've just passed our first major depressive episode as a married couple, caused by his refusal to get vaccinated, his slow-walking into an agreement to do so only to catch Covid-19 and test positive the day before his scheduled vaccination appointment. Subsequently, his parents shunned him and chastised him, and of course, he lashed out at them, and at me. As time heals all wounds he's currently happy and on top of the world; tomorrow the wind could change and he'll become negative, right back into his low-orbit, immature, angry self. I felt happy, for the first couple of months after we were married. But then the honeymoon phase wore off and now I'm back to being resentful, not only of him but of myself for allowing the situation to persist and not taking choosing better for myself. He just can't change, and I just can't let go. I'm pursuing my master's in clinical psychology, and I hope that with time and through the pursuit of therapy I can heal myself, and let go. If he works on himself, that's great, but if not, I hope I can find the courage to move on.

1. Mom/her union/her employer are taking the insurance company to court/arbitration for denying LTD. 2. Mom went on welfare and CPP disability; we were denied ODSP, so we had to re-apply under Dad. 3. I lost my job (restaurant closure due to Covid-19) I am numb; I am not thankful/grateful, I feel stress and anxiety nightly. The only silver lining from all of this is my ability (albeit limited, due to chronic tenosynovitis) to draw and seek commissions, and focus on art as a career finally. I feel empty.

I badly broke my right wrist, which required surgery, several casts, acupuncture and physical therapy. It affected me physically, emotionally, spiritually and every part of my functioning life. No, I am not grateful, relieved or inspired. It is what life throught me and I have tried my best to bounce back in the only way I know - to be determined, disciplined and hard working.

The willful refusal of some people to be vaccinated. It has been difficult to maintain relationships with those people so it is affecting my personal and professional life. I am furious, resentful and disgusted. And I am distressed by having these feelings. So it's an ugly mix of negative emotions, all because some people refuse to do what is right for humanity. A more positive experience was the election of Joe Biden and restoration of sanity to America.

The most significant experience that I had this year was officiating my sister's wedding. First and foremost, it was such an honor to be asked by Carly and Brad. My sister and me are very close. And I have grown close to Brad as well. My main goal, as the older sister, was to make sure that I was not center of attention (on purpose or by accident) - I wanted to make sure Carly and Brad were the focal point of the ceremony and I was there to make them shine. I loved the whole thing - I loved creating the script, and preparing, and delivering. I love public speaking and this was a reminder of that in such a wonderful way. It was a moment that I never want to forget and when it was over, I was sad. I wanted to do it all again! In my eulogy, I spoke about intentionality and its power in a relationship. I made it heartfelt and sad and funny and intimate all at the same time. I am really proud of that moment. I felt inspired.

My mom passed away on March 20, 2021, the first day of spring, succumbing to stage four breast cancer. Even though I was expecting it, I wasn't expecting it (that's the only way to convey my emotions and reaction on that day). She was a long-term breast cancer survivor, with her first diagnosis received in 1991. The stage four diagnosis was received six or seven years ago. But in the last five months of her life, cancer took her little by little and then all of a sudden. I'm still processing how it affected me emotionally and mentally. We had an extremely complicated relationship. On the day she died, I arrived a few minutes too late to witness her last breath. Without thinking, I had thrown myself across her, keening my remorse, grief, anger. I'm still working through my emotions; and grief, I've found, is not a step-by-step process--i.e. five stages of grief--it's more like a bag of Skittles. Like reaching into a bag of Skittles, you never know what you're going to get until you pull your hand out. For me, I can pass through all, a mix, or none of the stages of grief each day. I never know how I'm going to feel until I feel it.

I left my job at Torchbox after 10.5 years. I'd been building up to this for a while. I had been unhappy at work for some time - sometimes seriously unhappy: crying inexplicably at my desk unhappy, not wanting to get out of bed unhappy, being followed around by a black dog unhappy. As I wrote about in 10Q last year, I had two mental health days and started counselling. Furlough was a blessed relief, but it also opened a wound wider and gave me time to reflect on my situation in life. Work was the main thing making me unhappy. I had some protected conversations with people at work, where we agreed not to share what was said, so I'm somewhat limited in what I can write here, knowing that I will share this in a year's time. But what I can say is that, over a series of conversations over a few months, I agreed with my employer that the best thing for me to do was to leave my job. I didn't have anything else to go to. I never did hear back from Conversion Rate Experts, the company I applied to in June 2020, had a sort-of interview with, and then never heard back from - apart from that I wasn't a good fit for their immediate recruiting need of researcher. They didn't give me a no, but they also just left me hanging. That whole process of applying for another job helped me to visualize life beyond Torchbox and got me excited. It has been a great relief to leave my full-time job. I am burned out and still recovering. I've been fortunate that freelance work has come to find me. I'm earning enough to keep paying my way without having to work 8 hours a day.

Dealing with air raid sirens while taking care of my own child was scary, but not as scary as I thought it would be. I'm relieved I didn't panic.

Dropping my daughter off at college - I have spent the last 18 years entirely focused on her care. That part of my life is complete. I am so proud of her and I miss her terribly. This is a difficult dichotomy to navigate.

Honestly, friend's wedding was fairly significant. it was such a blessing to celebrate somewhat normally--yet so frustrating to go back into semi-lockdown afterwards. So happy to be able to celebrate the Chagim with human beings--but wish so desperately to have large crowds for meals and socialization.

I just played Mozart's 21st concerto with the local Orchestra yesterday, with my own cadenzas. I'm so grateful that I got to perform again, especially after feeling so creatively shut down during the pandemic. Performing feels so joyful, and worrying about whether I'll play the right notes is such a luxurious worry.

SO much has happened. OK, watching my stepdaughter complete the AT with her boyfriend. We were very involved in their journey and joined them at least 8 times. It was inspirational, and that combined with step competitions has gotten me more active and also trying to do thing I enjoy.

I am still wrestling with the fact that so many people died that I know that I love. Not being able to mourn and grieve with my family and mark the passing of those we care for changed me profoundly. It changed the way I grieve; it made it more solitary and I’m not sure I wanna go back to the other way.

I saw my first baby born this year. I felt immensely called to care for and love him and make sure he knew he was loved. We also moved across the country, got jobs, and bought our home. It feels like a relief to be finally living the life we have been working for even if it is still hard to manage it all.

Can't think of one individual experience so will have to get more general. Life naturally involves all of these feelings; from frustration about YA plans, getting fed up of being at home and getting judgy and grouchy (a little worried am picking up M's trait of sometimes dismissing D - something I always found icky but am seeing myself do). I'm relieved and grateful to have a relatively happy, relatively healthy family. Grateful for how this time's given me more time with Granny. Would I rather this time was over ASAP? Yep. But I do think (as maybe early 20s always is) this year's allowed me to grow and develop as a person in all sorts of wonderful ways.

I have learned that we can stop working when we wish. Relieved, grateful, yes. But it is potentially the realistic beginning of a transition to a new, generative and satisfying life. I’ve waited for this for many years. It is the opportunity to attend to my own inner process when so much of my work life has been directed at attending to that of others.

My ex left the state leaving me to care for our two boys, one who has major special needs, alone. Well, with help from my mother. I am furious at him. Will never forgive him. But I am also revving up for the challenge.

It has been quite an eventful year, with the never ending backdrop of the global pandemic. My best friend moved to another state, we unveiled the stone at my sister's grave, I retired, My husband had knee surgery, my relationship with my son is strained. But the one most significant experience has to be the death of my mother. After suffering with the horror that is Alzheimer's for over 6 years, her body finally just said enough is enough and let go. She was 92. I visited in March on the very day they first allowed in-person visits. Before that, the last time we had seen each other in person was her birthday the previous February. She was a shadow of even her former Alzheimer's self. Frail, unresponsive, it was heartbreaking. IInApril, my sister visited, and then in May, my brother and I visited together. It was nice for the two of us to do this together as it was so difficult. By now, she was on hospice and just so very frail. But her vitals kept being strong and after a week we both left--knowing it might be the last time we saw her alive. And it was. A week later she passed. I resent the hell out of the horrible disease that robbed me of my mother even before her death. I am relieved to finally be able to mourn the loss that began so many years ago. I work hard to remember the woman she was before the disease and am inspired to live a life as full as hers. To travel, learn, and continue to be curious about the world as I age. I pray I do not also get this horrific disease and do to my children what this did to us.

I got married! What more is there to say? I hope it goes well!

I decided finally to begin the divorce process. I am relieved to be in the process rather than just thinking about it. My husband doesn't want it but realizes it is going to happen. We are living apart, me in the house and him in an apartment. We see each other frequently, sometimes for dinner, sometimes something routine or a celebration of some kind. We are getting along better by seeing each other at discrete intervals and knowing we need to get along if the process is to continue without the expense of attornies. I still have one adult child living with me. Not ideal from a privacy point of view, but I'm helping out for now. I also retired from teaching community college. It was so much less fun teaching online during the pandemic, which helped with my decision, but I also wanted to get back my free time for other pursuits.

Of the two most monumental milestones this year - graduating nursing school and birthing our first child - the arrival of Frankie is certainly the most colossal and wonderful change! I'm still in the thick of the changes (fourth trimester) and expect that I will be for years/forever. So far, I feel that I smile and laugh more easily, because I'm delighted with our child. I also find it easier to slow down (when life moves on baby time, it kind of forces you to challenge the de facto break-neck pace). I feel even closer to my husband, because he is already a gentle, fun, kind father and is an even more thoughtful partner to me. I have also experienced sad and hopeless feelings as I mourn the self-centeredness of my life that was, with copious time for self-care and spontaneous activity. There have been ample challenges in the past few months - especially the sleep deprivation and DRASTIC hormonal swings - but all in all I feel beyond blessed to be mother to my child and wife to my husband.

My daughter arrived 10 weeks prematurely due to a near-total placental abruption in late January. The events leading up to her arrival were so sudden - from the time I started bleeding out on to my office floor until she was pulled out of me via emergency C-section was about an hour and a half. In the recovery that followed, and her 12 weeks stay at the hospital, and her arrival home - I haven't had the time to really sincerely process the enormity of all that happened. It is such a layered array of emotions that it can't be pigeonholed in to any one corner. I'm relieved and grateful that, despite her early arrival, her health outcome has been largely good. I am insanely resentful and jealous of people who have normal full term pregnancies and deliveries - I will never be able to tell my daughter what it's like to labor, or to push, or how uncomfortable it was to have her pressing against my ribs. I don't have the glowing maternity photos, the triumphant post-delivery story, or the precious newborn baby pictures. My partner didn't get to see our daughter arrive. I barely got to feel her inside of me before she showed up. But - she's healthy. She's growing. She's thriving. I know that's what matters the most, but I am still grieving what will never be whenever I see friends with their swollen bellies and glowing, knowing smiles. I have no choice but to keep plowing forward through it all, because mothers of young infants have very little energy left for much else.

I broke up with my partner of 7.5 years, had my first job in Dutch, lost said job, lost only other income and almost had a burnout. I'm sooo grateful all of that happened as it forced me to make the mindshift that I couldn't make with all my crutches in life on my own. I have more confidence about what I can do.

Technically not this calendar year, but in the last Jewish year, my (Catholic) boyfriend and I had a big conversation / "incident" where we celebrated the holidays together for the first time and wound up having deep talks about the meanings behind each of our holidays and traditions, in addition to beginning our own traditions together. It was a difficult time but a lot was learned and we became stronger for it.

Last year was full of significant experiences…the covid-19 pandemic continued on, virtual school, getting a puppy, selling our condo, buying a house and having my folks and their 2 dogs join us, having my mom hospitalized for a collapsed lung, and now my husband on medical leave from a new job related to medication challenges for his mental illness…oh and I decided to stop my PhD program in nursing and not return this year. I’m exhausted. I’ve gained a ton of weight. I just keep trying…trying to push through…trying to hold it together…trying to deal with whatever needs to happen…basically I haven’t given up…that’s pretty powerful, I think!

Thanksgiving this year was a significant experience. I remember the pain of realizing that I shouldnt go home, that I was going to continue to be alone, that it was a bad idea, and crying crying crying to my parents that I wanted to come home, I needed to come home, I needed to see people. I felt like a baby and weak and also so so so lonely. I've never felt that lonely and alone and depressed. And the job when my parents said ok-come home. And just knowing that I would be in the house and surrounded by love and there. And it was weird and different and terrible, but also wonderful. I've never felt like I was doing the wrong thing so much, and breaking the fauci request and being part of the problem, but also that I needed this as the solution.

My family moved to Nevada. A lot of things changed like we moved out of the house we lived in for 5 years, we own our house now instead of rent, there are no stairs, and we have a huge yard. Many of my friends had already left Colorado so it while it was miserable leaving the home I had loved it had already been difficult losing them all the previous year. I feel resentful; that I have to do this, have to do it to my kids, and that there is no end in sight. There are no roots and we have nowhere we will see as home by the end and it makes me sad. I do love the desert though, it is very beautiful and feels just as much me as the forest used to and for that I am very grateful. Leaving so many and being left by so many just leaves me feeling like nothing matters and what is the point in connecting to a person or place.

Getting diagnosed with ADHD! Holy crap. At last. I'm all those things. I'm sad for the 3+ decades lost in quality of life, and mostly glad and relieved to now know what I'm working with. I'm at the beginning of this journey hacking through how to manage and harness how my brain works and there's plenty to learn and get frustrated with. Immediately, though, the newfound understanding that my most self-loathed traits are explainable as ADHD was a huge weight off my shoulders.

This past year was one of the most significant of my life. I learned that things don't always work out for the best, despite your best intentions and best efforts. I learned that I can't make someone else happy no matter how many ways I try, and that it's not worth staying in an unhappy marriage. I learned that I have the courage to leave, which is much harder than jumping in. And that I have the patience to do so in as gentle a way as I possible could. I am grateful for the pandemic in the sense that it may have accelerated the inevitable. Though I don't know if I would have made it out of the first year of marriage regardless. Ultimately, Daniella wasn't the right partner for me, no matter how much I wanted to love her or wanted to make it work or wanted to honor my commitment. I am deeply relieved to be free from the bondage of an unhappy relationship where I felt like I had to contort myself to maintain any semblance of stability. I'm inspired by my own resilience -- how I was able to regain a sense of self and my joy.

I almost died. Went in for a simple surgery and got an infection that could still prove fatal It has made me question how much I need to focus on actually getting things done, and on finding joyful and meaningful things on a daily basis. Time is the one thing we can never have enough of.

It has been a year and either everything has been significant or nothing has. I have been trying my hardest to just live day to day. It's exhausting! I do not understand the current polarization in our nation right now. Mask/Anti Mask, Vax/Antivax, Politically and personally we are divided and love is hard to see, feel, or experience.

My husband's mental health diagnosis. I was grateful that he sought help and we both are grateful for the diagnosis. When you know what you're up against, things are easier to deal with. He helped me through my therapy and I'm 100% behind him in his.

The vaccine! I am grateful to get the vaccine, to be a part of vaccinating people, and to help friends, family and strangers get vaccinated.

Biden being elected was a massive relief to me. He was not my 1st choice for prez and he has definitely made decisions during the past 8 mos that I don't agree with, but it is still 1000X better than if Trump had remained president. I am just pessimistic that some other right wing nutjob is going to come in in 4-8 years and undo all the progress.

The storming of the U.S. Capitol. The plight of the Afghan and Uighar people. Devastating wildfires and hazardous air quality. On the positive side - getting my COVID vaccinations and Biden elected President. How do I feel? Grief-stricken, yet clinging to the few hopeful signs.

I was hospitalized again for suicidal ideation. I'm not sure if that was as significant then as the subsequent therapy. I wouldn't say I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful I got that out of the way without getting hurt or hurting anyone else tangentially. It has gotten me back on track and not so much spinning out of control like I was before. I want to be cured, but I don't think that is really possible. I want to just make incremental improvements each week, though. I guess buying the condo was also really significant. Probably more on that one later...

We terminated a pregnancy when we found out the fetus had trisomy 13 at 15 weeks. I was very depressed and angry. If I am honest I am still a little angry, but I am grateful for my friends, family, and therapist.

I quit my stupid job. Summer off was rejuvenating!!

Oh man. So much. I finally got a job in January and moved out to my own place in July. I am so grateful and relieved. My faith in the system was slightly restored and I have a more positive outlook on life in general as a result. Super super grateful because these are the things I was praying and hoping for last year

I got fired. I got covid. I went to Vipassana. I completed 50 hours of weekly therapy with my wonderful therapist. I renewed my lease. I took two months off with no plan to get another job. I accepted a job I had no experience in only because I liked my (now) boss. I mended my relationship with my dad who I hadn't spoken to in 2 years. I could go on. I can boil all of it down to being told in April that my company was letting me go in June. They were giving me 3 months to job hunt. And then I got covid the very next month, so there went my job hunting time. I'm grateful. So grateful. What is my purpose in life? When all your safety nets are taken away - your financial security, whatever self worth and sense of purpose you drew from your job and finally, your health - what's left? Depending on when you asked me, it's either everything or nothing. When I was grappling with (what I thought was) the psychological effects of long covid, the answer was nothing. Everyday was an exercise in suicidal ideation and beating myself up. Then, one day, after the worst panic attack I've ever experienced, I felt lighter. I knew, in every fibre of my being, that no one was coming to save me. No one. I needed to save myself. And I did.

My granddaughter's zoom wedding in April to her longtime girlfriend. They were both so joyous & whenever I see them they are so happy & just plain good together. It's personally uplifting & reinforces the importance of loving & being loved.

In the past year, I lost my job due to COVID 19. It was a blessing in disguise as I really hated my boss and was constantly stressed out. Even though I couldn't find a new job for another 6 months, it really helped me to be grateful for what I had and to find something better.

Dealing with COVID on a micro and macro scale. Trying to incorporate best practices along with internal resistance to all the restrictions. Developing tolerance to others with diverse ideas on this topic, overlaid with all the other political noise out there through the end of 2020 and beginning of 2021. I have not been grateful, relieved or inspired. Finding more resentment towards others whose actions and opinions I diverged from.

Covid-19 has continued to be a major factor in life. I've been working from home since March 2020 - a year and a half. Vaccines were rolled out. I had my first Pfizer shot on 2/19/2021 and the second on 3:15/2021. For a short while we all thought the vaccine made it safe to resume somewhat normal activities. But a large portion of the population has refused the vaccine, giving the Delta variant the opportunity to rage on. Vaccinated people have been found to be still susceptible to the virus, and while less likely to be fatal, there can still be lasting damage to vital organs. So, we're back to staying masked, avoiding close contact with others, and etc ad nauseum. I'm angry at all the people who can safely be vaccinated yet refuse.

Birth of granddaughter

Significant experience in the past year? Not so much.

One of my best friends tragically died in an accident. This affected my mental well-being and also perception of life. I am grateful for the memories that I shared with my friend, heartbroken that we will not have any new memories, and yearning for an answer as to "why?" I wake up each morning grateful that I am still alive, yet always wishing that there was something that I could have done different that would have changed the outcome of her accident.

A year ago I had barely started hiking -- only a handful of walks with the one friend in my bubble or by myself. They were mostly agonizing but full of enough wonder and determination to keep me going. It's now, hands down, the accomplishment I'm proudest of. That first hike was awful, barely 2km. I was pouring sweat, deeply uncomfortable, unable to carry conversation, embarrassed by how out of shape I was after years of couch potatoing and months of Covid fatigue, but so proud of meeting the challenge. It didn't immediately inspire any change but within months I was hiking multiple times per week by myself, on longer and more challenging trails, and this summer completed the entire local parks trail challenge, a feat others did last year that left me in awe.

My 15 year old son has grown taller than me. This has stirred up a surprising number of emotions for me.

I had a blood clot in my brain in June. I am SO grateful to be alive and still kicking, and to have avoided a stroke. It was likely due to birth control pills, which I hadn't considered. It was just an important reminder of how we should never take anything for granted.

My children got told off in shul and it triggered me back to being a child and feeling like I'm bad for being different, for not loving davening and other expected religious practices. I have used this experience as a diving board into old trauma and making changes for myself and my children and my community and our relationship with Hashem.

I started a new job and moved to a new apartment in the same week. This time last year, all my energy was focused on finding my way out of two bad situations, and having achieved that has lifted a huge burden from my shoulders.

In March my husband moved to ME after finding a transfer spot for work. It’s been 10 plus yrs that he basically walked out of our marriage of 27 yrs. I waited and held our family together while trying to move forward in my own life. He stated he wanted to make it work and loved me. Our youngest daughter graduated from nursing school and she and her animal brood moved to their own place and we found a new place for us I am excited, happy, frustrated, scared, worried, hopeful, validated I feel validated in waiting and giving him time. Everyone including our 5 grown children, my parents and sisters and friends all said move on without him. But I was committed But….he really was awful and blew up our marriage with lies and deceitfulness after saying he wanted a divorce out of the blue then reversed then ignored me pretty much for 10 yrs, while kinda stringing me along. . I finally let him know I needed to know who he wanted to grow old with, and he said me. I then let him know I needed him to show me. He really made a great start but now that we have gotten our own place and things are settling in he is completely reverting to his old comfortable ways and I’m frustrated and scared of the future So….work to be done!!

Something very traumatic that happened to me was my sister's boyfriend Gavi passed away in a car accident. I was close with Gavi and miss him every day. My sister continues to mourn for her beloved. May his nachama have an alieha

Last year, I moved! Yeah, a big change, and 1000 miles away to the hellhole that is Florida! I am still struggling to make friends, and the pandemic certainly hasn't helped. Hopefully I can go back, its only 4 years until college!

I discovered I was a system, a multiple. One who carried no singular consciousness. Two months later, I was diagnosed with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). It was a Theory of Everything moment, unlocking all that was so strange in my life and so many enigmatic physical maladies. It was, is, exhausting and optimistic. I have learned more about what it means to be human from my alters than anything else in this life thus far.

I was seriously depressed for about five months this past year. I got to a pretty low place. It pushed me to seek help and I am really grateful for that, because I'm in such a different mindspace now.

My mom recently died. I feel regret for some things, relief in some ways, shock still and an unsettling about what this means for my own identity. Right now, I’m pretty down and unmotivated and I don’t care. But I hope it will inspire me to improve my health and continue to make her proud.

Trump is finally out of office -- he almost brought down our democracy in the process, but he is gone! I feel enormous relief, and pride that I did my part in the election. But I am troubled by the hate that he has unleashed just when our country needs to unite to fight the pandemic and the quickly-escalating devastation of climate change. I'm worried.

1. Corona. What is there even left to say? I own so many masks and yet I need (actually need) more. Its not as though I was rich in going out with friends before, and the initial circle I made gradually gained and lost people, but sometimes I think about how I havent been drunk in a year (what a 25 year old thing to say--but c'mon, I'm running out of hangoverless years here) and yet have been stoned almost every night, and I realize the intoxications I've lost (parties, hanging out with friends, bars, public gatherings of any kind) and the intoxications I've gained (a thing that makes me calmer as the world collapses around me.) I wash my hands so much my nails have started peeling in sheets. Hand-sanitize with any and every public touch--door handles, the request stop button on the bus, another person's hands. Re-shower the moment I get home before changing into "house clothes." I'll panic a little if I touch my face after touching whatever public thing is working as a petri dish. I have been so lucky to have gotten vaccinated early and made it through these long-ass months without catching anything (knock on wood), but that fear of being a breakthrough case or catch a new variant keeps me so, so paranoid. And yet, all of that is just normal now. I don't know that I'll ever be able to stop doing this. 2. I finally (finally) moved to Los Angeles. There's a lot I love about it—mostly getting a reprieve from the long rainy months in the PNW, yet somehow avoiding the record-breaking heat (115 in Portland!!!). I've learned a lot about the world, and how restricting it was to grow up in the same 10-15 miles, all the way to May 1st of this year, just three weeks before I turned 25. Currently I ride the bus for an hour and a half to get to my job ten miles away. Someone is yelling (usually at me) almost every day. I live in a shitty neighborhood, with Citizen pinging me crime after crime every night. I am the most stressed out about money I've been since I was in college and living off a student media stipend. Men take too far of an interest in me and I'm getting a mad attitude that'll probably get me in real trouble someday. The world is big. Despite this move—which, to me, is a thousand miles from where I thought I'd ever live—there is still so much between Portland and LA, so much country beyond the west coast, and so many countries with so many different people I will probably never meet. I've always felt small, but now I definitely feel smaller. 3. Being in Portland for the protests in honor of George Floyd and against police brutalist was both terrifying and required. 100 days of some kind of stand off: on one side, a souped-up police force; on the other, a city demanding change with more force than I had ever seen us do. At the same time, it left so many of us ragged, damaged, and still angry. At the same time, there was community in a bigger way than anything before. People carried snacks, and earplugs, and water, and a phone charger, just in case you needed it. People opened their homes to strangers, just to take a breath of air and try to get home safe. No one went alone, and no one stayed alone. It's hard to feel hopeful about any of this at the moment. It's hard to feel like any of this is ever going to make any difference. But if it does, I'll have been there, and being on the right side of history feels like a moral obligation I can't refuse. 4. There is a real aloneness with this year. There's a total nothingness to this year. The last thing I was a part of was the protests in 2020, and since then it has been the love and criticisms of my parents and the occasional in-person friend. I miss being part of a crew, a team, something larger than me. My hope for this next year is to move towards the career I've always aimed at, so I can find a new community and thing to be passionate about. That, I suppose, is the hope I have to keep hoping.

I met my girlfriend! I've been dating someone for over 6 months now, and it has been really lovely. It all just fell into place, and puts into context the struggles of past dating. Where everything else felt difficult or awkward with other women I dated, it feels so easy and simple with Lauren. I've loved having her in my life, and hope she still is next year when I open these up.

We moved. It is probably the most important thing we have done in a long time. Justin needed to get the hell out of Alabama. He was truly on the brink of a mental heath crisis. I am absolutely grateful and relieved. We have found a lovely new home and we are waiting to close. Justin is doing better than he has in a long time. Maybe pulling a geographical does work sometimes.

We moved to a senior retirement community. It’s been a struggle and I think it’s a mistake. I’m fairly down about it and wish we hadn’t done it. Thinking about leaving. If we do we will lose over $40000.

COVID is all encompassing. How do you get back out to the world? How to you schedule leaving your house? How do you handle the stress of being out in the world?

I’m grateful, relieved & inspired xx 🙏💖I Started working at my new job back in July 2020. After various lockdowns then resumed in May 2021 onwards. I guess I’ve proved to myself that I am capable of working somewhere else, when I believed I’d struggle & fail. I’m not perfect but I am as good as I am & that’s enough xx 😘

Sold house and moved to cottage. Feeling uneasy, homesick. Learning to take things day by day. New friends, new experiences, deeper connections to nature.

I went to residential in august of 2020 and got out September 2020. I was gone for 7 weeks, only seeing family once a week. It wasn’t a great time, but I’m more than grateful to have gone through. I regret nothing about it. I’m in a much better spot then I was a year ago. I also hit one year clean from SH:)

Being vaccinated was probably the most significant experience for me. It allowed me, my friends and family to get back to a somewhat normal life again. I am extremely grateful. It makes me hopeful for better days. Although I am struggling to adapt to an active life and not burn out.

1. Dealing with the ongoing isolation caused by the pandemic. I am frequently feeling lonely and need to find better ways to conenct. I am feeling resentful that it is continuing and preventing me from doing many of the things I love to do such as teach, travel and attend quilt shows. I am frustrated and chaffing under the burden of having to think about everyday acts in terms of the COVID risk.

A. and I exploded. So, I found myself a psych eval. I got a diagnosis and I got help. Meds and talking to people and letting them know that I need to work on me, all has reshaped me. I feel like I'm back in my body. So thankful for medications helping me find me.

In Nov. 2020 I had surgery for an ectopic pregnancy, I lost the pregnancy and my right fallopian tube. It was a super shocking experience because I was going along thinking it was a normal pregnancy. Went in for the first ultrasound at 8.5 weeks or so, and ended up in the emergency room. During a covid peak in Michigan. I thought they were going to give me a pill or something to end the pregnancy. Then they told me I needed to be rushed into emergency surgery and that I'd likely lose my tube. I'd say that I'm stronger having been through that. And I'm happy to report that I'm currently 15 weeks pregnant with a baby in the right place this time.

My mom has been diagnosed with Parkinsons and has changed a lot in just the past few months. It has helped me to prioritize what's important to me and what's important for me to focus on right now.

Oh, this year has been a lot. In January, I had the worst hives reaction I've ever experienced, and then immediately after - likely because of the steroids I took for the hives - had a massive infection that required surgery. It profoundly affected everything, in every way, for around 4 months - never have I been so physically un-capable of movement for so long. I'm... exhausted. Still haven't recovered, energy-reserves-wise. I am grateful for my employer's flexibility, and support. But yeah, exhausted.

I purchased my home in Desert Hot Springs after almost three years of renting and living at three different apartment complexes. I appreciate the peace of mind that owning a home brings, and feel very grateful to the universe. I feel this helped me become more emotionally and spiritually grounded.

This past year has been pretty much status quo. Nothing really major happened. I guess Biden and Harris winning the Election. It’s nice to have some closer to the common man back in the White House. The Congress was attacked on Jan 6, 2020. I really wish that Trump had been impeached and held accountable for inciting the attack. I would not say that I was resentful but maybe close to it. I hope he gets his due.

It feels very strange being at school and writing this. When I got here a few days I felt so many things that I hadn't felt in so long, but craved for a year and a half-- that I was exactly where I wanted to be, that I wasn't in a weird liminal space, that I wasn't just waiting for things to happen-- they are happening! Being said, I think a significant experience that I feel like I feel like is more specific is working at What's Brewing!! It was definitely not my first choice of things I wanted to do this summer, but I think it turned out to be very rewarding and a great experience. I had what felt like such a typical summer job where I made friends who didn't even know if I graduated high school or not and had a weird ass boss that made me crazy. I feel grateful that I sort of handled the punches that were swung at me in that way and that I was able to make the most of situation. I think it could have ended up differently if I was more close minded to that experience and frustrated about the internship I lost, but I'm proud of myself and the way I handled it :)

I made retreat at Eastern Point in Gloucester MA in December. It was a turning point for me. I began to find my way back to relationship with God. I began to move out of ennui and low grease depression. I met Anita Constance, sc, who has become my spiritual director. The peace of the place and Anita’s gentle coaxing and questions quite literally lifted me out of a great lethargy. I turned back to God.

My grandson, Jay Henry, was born on January 12, 2021. I am so relieved and grateful for his safe arrival and good health. I didn't expect to be more anxious for this event than the birth of my own children. As a parent, the worst thing that can happen is for your child to suffer. My daughter-in-law saw this first hand when her own brother died of childhood cancer. I could see how the fear of not having a healthy child was weighing on her and I suffered with her.

I broke my feet. Feet are our foundation, and I lost mine completely. 14+ fractures in a matter of moments, all soft tissues crushed. Who knew bone tissue could swell?! I went through the 5 stages of grief - I spent a long time in denial. It was hard on the new puppy, and it was hard on my husband. At the busiest time of year he suddenly had to run the house, the farm, his engineering firm, and play puppy/nurse maid. I had to find gratitude in insanely small tasks. I lost the ability to base my self-worth on productivity. Falling behind on work, education, and goals forced me to evaluate whether or not those were things I wanted - or needed! - in my life. From June through August I sweltered in double walking boots, carefully evaluating the payoff of each attempted activity against the discomfort of sweating in multiple layers of foam and Velcro. And now, out of the boots but not yet healed, I marvel at the daily miracle of defying gravity, of feeling the earth against my instep, having a choice in footwear, taking the puppy for a walk with minimal pain. There are 7,000 nerves in the foot and I felt all of them in a negative way! The lessons of rest and honoring my body have carried through. I'm finally at an age where I can't afford risks if I want to enjoy the future. I still don't know if I can wear high heels, and I'm not sure if I'll want to. My husband and I both learned about our partnership, I think - he had to become my foundation, and I had to allow him to bear the weight. Are we relieved to resume, in large part, our standard roles? Yes, but I think there's a deeper trust and gratitude in our partnership now. To stand in a cold stream with warm sun on my back is an incredible blessing, impossible a month ago. Thank God for feet.

My eldest son moved into his first apartment. Yes, he's still in college, and I'm still paying for it, but it's a definite move into adulthood that he is managing so seamlessly and I'm so proud. It hasn't impacted me badly; I don't see this as any different for me than in previous years, because this is about him. It does make me happy that life can move on.

My mum being urgently referred for scans for suspected cancer, thankfully came back all clear, Hugely relieved and a timely reminder that life is short. I'm hoping it will change me for the better, though I know these changes can often be short-lived!

I got married and I found more love and grace than I ever dreamed could happen. I felt a relief that I did not know I needed.

My dad died and it left me feeling relieved at first that he was no longer in a place of such misery and suffering and the discomfort and suffering that arose around his misery has been relieved. My mom is happy and healthy and living a wild life and there is now more financial freedom than ever before. I was angry at my dad for a few reasons: 1) His misery was so intense that I often felt powerless to help him. 2) I am fearful that I have inherited the same breed of discontentedness that wracked his life. When I recall bad memories of him, I see myself embodying those same traits and it makes me angry and I want to blame him so I don't have to own them as my own. 3) He died so suddenly and I am now left in this space where it is difficult for me to remember really good times with him. I know they happened, but I have trouble remembering them. Every time I want to remember the best times with him, I feel blocked by bad memories. Additionally, when someone makes a comment about him I contribute a negative or angry perspective. Like Paige describing a moment between her and him and I'll just comment he was probably really drunk or something disparaging. I want to be able to see the good in his life and I know it was there, but I am hindered by unresolved anger. I don't think I've quite accepted that anger either. It is okay that I am angry, sad, and hurt both by parts of my dad's life and by his death. It is okay.

Changing teams at work from Siobhan to Rafael. At first it made me feel like I wasn’t getting enough done, and perhaps I wasn’t. But it also gave me relief that I’d have a boss who engages with me more directly. I’m now grateful, though I also don’t think that this is the perfect environment for me.

I became resilient. I found out that I truly value freedom. I found out that I am not a paternalistic physician. I found out that scientific consensus is artificial and frail. I found out experts behave differently under stress. I found out expertise is not maintained if one ignores scientific rigor. And I found a way to vote with words through others.

I got a new boss and I've been able to talk to her more than I could to the old one. Even though I hate conflict and get super tongue tied I've managed to speak up when I need to.

A neighbor was dying and I got to spend quality time with her before she died. Very Grateful

I got married yesterday! It was an amazing day. Everything was perfect, Lex is my everything, and everyone was there and loved it abd it was just so good. I hurt like hell now, of course, and I'm exhausted, but it's good! So happy. We didn't have my GRC, because being trans involves people trying to screw you st every single step, so the service was altered slightly by James to be for our "intention to marry". Steph is gonna do a quiet marriage ceremony for us when we get the thing sorted, so we can get the legal bit sorted. But as far as we're concerned, that's just paperwork. Yesterday was the day we made our vows, exchanged rings, and celebrated with 36 people that we love. I know Lex and I already share everything. But sharing our love and intention with everyone, that's what we wanted.

A singular experience: vaccination. Going to the mass vaccination site not just for myself but for my parents as well, then being able to take my children to get theirs, all in orderly fashion? It was inspiring and yes, gratitude-inducing. I'm not a wholesale vaccine endorser, but in this case, the public good and the research behind it made me 100% on board.

On the positive side, my daughter returned after a year away at a therapeutic boarding school. It was a huge milestone for her and for our family, and while there have been predictable bumps in the road, things are very much improved and headed in a great direction. I think our optimism for the future has only increased. In addition, Trump is no longer president. On the negative side, the Capitol Hill riots and the pandemic, and the continued ignorance, hate and violence of a large segment of this country, continue to upset me in profound ways. So I feel relief, resentment, inspiration and despondency all at once.

I had an abortion in March and my divorce in August. Both events have left me sad and disappointed in life but it also feels like a pivotal experience in terms of my own progress and development. It's like it pushed me to go through a metamorphosis, to some extend my life was not the same as it was before. And I am sure that it somehow prepared me for what life still holds for me

January 6th--the attack on the Capitol. This is one of those polarizing topics in the US. Conservatives try and explain it away like it's no big deal. Nothing to see here. But to me it was stunning. The President of our nation calling an election illegitimate and telling his followers to march to the Capitol. And then watching them riot and steal and loot. While the police stood by and basically let it happen. After the violence in the street with BLM over the summer, the differences were striking. It didn't feel like my country. It made me feel like our democracy was deeply fragile in a way that even the election and Bush v Gore did not.

December - January 2020/21 - studying for my degree made me so stressed and ill that i was having panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. I made the choice to take a year out. I am proud of myself for making this decision for my health. I resent that I had to do this on some level - part of me feels left behind my peers and like a failure. But also I have made progress in this time out and definitely feel a lot healthier so I am grateful to myself for giving myself the chance to be healthy over the chance to graduate on time. I haven't come as far as I'd like in the past 8 months, but I have definitely moved forward and so that's a win.

I am grateful we were able to buy a house back home.

I was fortunate enough to be vaccinated three times for COVID19. I am grateful and relieved and inspired by all of those who worked hard to get us this vaccine as well as all the medical professionals who have been working to save lives for this whole pandemic. I also feel resentment towards people who are not careful and could vaccinate but choose not to as well as governments and leaders that are not working as hard as they should to fight this pandemic.

The loss of my fur-baby, Meeme 😭 She was a Red Cloud Kelpie X, who I adopted from the RSPCA in 2008. I was lucky enough to spend one more Mother's Day with her, on the 9th May, before she crossed the rainbow bridge on the 10th 🐾🌈 I am grateful for everything Meeme was, and everything she did for me.. She will always be my baby, my best friend, my bodyguard ♥️

I thought when I got my COVID vaccine that it was a significant experience and I was so grateful. I was amazed at how organized and smooth the process was at the mass vaccination at the Oregon Convention Center. At its peak they were vaccinating 1100 people per hour and vaccinated over a quarter million people by the end of April. It was a logistical masterpiece and when I got my first shot in March I felt like I'd won the lottery just getting in and getting it. I qualified then because my Dad's doctor said I counted as a caregiver. Nevermind that I wasn't being allowed in the house other than to drop groceries in the basement. Nevermind that the only time I got to be in the same room with him was when he was hospitalized. I got the shot, I had no side effects, I was on my way to being vaccinated. I said a shehecheyanu. I scheduled my second dose. The second dose felt momentous as well. I didn't have any side effects and just two weeks later I was fully vaccinated. And then I drove Joshua through the airport mass vaccination to get his first dose, then Joshua's second and Ravi's first, and finally Ravi's second. For a brief time I felt like we were coming to the end of this. I felt invincible. And then delta variant came. And there are more breakthrough cases. We're not invincible. We're just sort of protected and waiting for the boosters. I'm still amazed by the way four different health systems came together to run an efficient mass vaccination site. It was the best organized response I've seen in all of the pandemic and I remain grateful for the shot and the innumerable people who played a part in getting it into my arm. I am grateful for all the lives the vaccines have saved. I just wish more people would get the damn shot. The longer COVID is spreading the more likely it will change to something more spreadable and more deadly, as it has already proven that it can.

Starting to work with Sahar and really getting my business started, put me into a difficult period of non-stop work that I didn't always handle well but I've learned so much. Definitely need to figure out the work-life balance while also saving and building wealth. I would have said grateful and proud, but now that I'm in the States it all just feels so far away and I'm stressed I won't be able to rebuild it when I get back.

1. I went to Guatemala this summer. It was awesome :) It was such a great break from reality and honestly I'm just so happy I went! 2. Going back a little more, in covid related news -- even though it seems so long ago, I got my vaccine this year (Jan 2021)! There are so so many different opinions about it but thank Gd I'm proud to be vaccinated.

Dating and breaking up Sahil. This was my first relationship. I was able to practice everything I learned with Elise to co-create such memorable experiences that I still think fondly on 6 months later. I wrote and read to him a thank you letter in person. I did not at all anticipate all the grief I felt when I told him I wanted to date other people. As Elise said, the waves would start to get smaller and come in a little less frequently. I was going through a storm at first and just had to trust the process. I danced, wrote a song, talked with friends, was gentle with myself. Dating him showed me that wonderful relationships are possible

Rina is approaching death. I’ve just been asked to do the Neilah sermon. I’ve been TUPED into ITG. I’m all the feelings. I did manage to completely renovate the upstairs of my house and to get through that with John. I did manage to keep going with daf yomi and Sugya sistas

Formulating a response to the hate crime hate Incident in Fairfax by writing the pentition and forming a group to respond to the public forum

We got a new COVID grandbaby. It was pretty amazing because we could take care of the older one for almost a week. Something we hadn't ever done before. The second thing was to get vaccinated and to get those around us to get vaccinated. We are so relieved and grateful that all our kids are immunized and healthy. Hopefully the babies will also stay healthy.

I had cataract surgery on both eyes. I was amazed to “see” my world become clearer an grateful that this surgical procedure has advanced over years. Watching the Capitol protest and violence in real time was both excruciating and sad. To this day, me, the first of baby boomers and only four days younger than the, then, President. Missing my most important holiday gatherings and realizing their importance in my FLOW of life

I graduated college in May. Typing that out, it feels a little hard to believe. Granted, my college experience didn't end in the way that I thought it would. The last year and a half of it was spent almost entirely online. So many parts of what made college great were gone - holiday traditions, sports games, parties, bars, dances, late night library sessions, spending time with professors, etc etc. There was a lot of beauty in these last couple years, and I would proudly say that I made the most of them, but it was still so different. And so, when I finished my last final exam and completed my degree, the emotions I felt were numbed. They were marred by the uncertainty of the future and the unwillingness to allow this chapter of my life to fully close - yet. The post-grad blues have been too really. I feel the world open with a million possibilities in front of me, yet at times, that open feeling is obscured by the feeling that the walls around me are caving in. Regardless of these feelings, I am thankful for my degree. For my imperfect college experience. For the opportunities I've had and the people in my life. Here's to the world ahead of me.

The decision to get J&J after researching medical research. Sharing this information & finding out that other people are scared to get vaccinated due to misinformation on media. Shocked even after talking with them. Greatly saddened that these people may get the covid because of all the stupid media hype and misinformation. Yes I know people can do their own research but honestly - some don't know how to where to go or if they do - it's so badly presented that they give up....

Omggggg, I'm so tired of living through "significant events". Climate change, corona, white supremacy, financial recessions, attempted coup d'etats.. you know, the usual. Of course there was the 2020 election where Biden won, and then the Jan 6, 2021 attempted coup. 🤦‍♀️. How has it affected me? Hmmm... badly. I feel a steady, simmering anxiety an unease and worry about the instability of our society.

We got a new VP and director at work, and we are not working well together. I feel resentful, pushed out of the decision making and like my job is in jeopardy.

Self Acceptance and Self Understanding: I am grateful to be me and love myself. I don't need to please others, I can just be my real self. I am able to love myself and love others. I feel relief as I don't spend time worrying about what others think. This awakening has brought me joy.

As a result of the pandemic, my girlfriend and I were, in many ways, "forced" by outside parties to not see one another. Hindsight seems to suggest there may have been an overreaction by some or all involved since no one (thankfully) contracted the virus. That said, had such things not happened in the way that they did, it wouldn't have forced our hand to look for an apartment to move into together. This, under normal circumstances, would have been less than ideal. I wanted to move out and live by myself for awhile, really mature as an individual before maturing further into the relationship. Looking back, it has been the best thing for my relationship and myself personally. Turns out you can grow individually and as a couple while living together. How naïve I really was to think otherwise.

A man that I met really blew me away with his kindness and interest. I'm still overcoming the end of this very short relationship but I believe that it was the most profound one i've had because it was an effect of my healing work. He is kind, loving, and wonderful and Im grateful to have met him. He showed me a small % of how I deserve to be loved and how I will be loved in the future. I'm grateful to him for teaching me about boundaries.

Covid. It help frame a lot of issues I was unaware to and wanted me to fight harder for a different world. It pushed me further into finding myself, wanting to stop existing in a "grey-zone" just floating through my life in a shell of something that doesn't represent me.

There have been so many, and yet, at the same time, it feels like time is suspended. Perhaps the most significant experience has been the process of putting on a live convention, with strict COVID protocols, during the summer lull. Despite having spent all year telling people "plan as if we're having a con", nobody really believed we were having a con...until we, the board, said, "Guess what! We're having a con!" The end result was that something that is already a lot of work was a lot MORE work, all compressed into about 10 weeks. It dominated everything. In the end, however, 2500 people showed up, showed their vax cards, wore their masks, and had a good time. Although two people reported subsequently realizing they had COVID while they were at the con, there was NO community transmission.

Over the last year I have become the main caregiver for my mother who is 83 and experiencing a reoccurrence of her breast cancer that has metastasized to the lung. I have had to not only deal with resentment of my siblings who have left this job to me to deal with but also recognizing that I have been very over involved and that in many ways I have taken away their ability to be more active out of my own controll issues. I have begun taking Lexapro and I really didn't want to but since taking it I have been able to really see my part in much of what has gone on with my siblings. I am grateful for this since before the meds I couldn't see anything but my own hurt and messy emotions.

There have been many significant events for me during the past 12 months. But the one that has affected me the most is the confirmation of dementia for both of my parents. I had taken over their shopping when the pandemic started and that was stressful enough, even though it was just once a week. Since then, I now am their sole transportation, their only socialization, caretaker, housemaid, appointment maker, etc... They call me 2-3 times a day asking if I've taken something from their house, or asking me to buy something they already have, or they want me to make a doctor's appointment for something. I am living with constant stress to the point where I'm not sleeping well, I've been getting counseling and now am taking anti-anxiety meds. I am resentful that they didn't take better care of themselves over the years, make friends, or take care of their home. Although I have done an amazing amount of work to improve their quality of life, it is not what I had ever expected or imagined I would be doing at this stage of my life.

Taking a break away from my business to take a small breath. It doesn't have to be this constant push and pressure to succeed. I can build a business that allows me to be profitable, while also giving space to healing. It doesn't have to be so hard and serious. It's ok to pause, reflect, rest, explore and then, only if it feels right, get back up and at it.

Since Rosh Hashana moves, it's not been exactly a year since the last one. It's also sort of challenging, in a good way, to think of the year from fall to fall. Also, I just listed to a really beautiful poem from Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude and it's very hot, so I'm a little mush right now. This year felt less significant than the last, though more happened to me - or rather, I made more things happen. I moved, twice. I changed jobs, twice. I got on a plane and then travelled internationally for the first time in over a year. These things all affected me less than the overwhelm of the pandemic or the galvanization of the black lives matter movement. Three experiences worth describing, perhaps, are my parents getting vaccinated, my trip to Switzerland, and this beginning stage of moving to Berkeley/the East Bay. Going with my mom to get her first shot made me feel good about people, hopeful about the future, and so relieved. All of the volunteers were so nice, I was so grateful to get to be there with my mom, so grateful that she'd now be safe and soon my dad would be too. It felt like the light at the end of the tunnel, like we were on the upswing, opening up after a long period of contraction. And that feeling of opening wasn't short lived, it persisted, all through the spring and into my getting vaccinated, into June. It was only in July that the contraction started again, which made this round all the more challenging. I don't resent that contraction, but in a season in which I've been discovering how burnt out I actually am and have become over this chapter of fire, floods, human aggression, and death, it's made me feel even more paper thin, even less motivated to participate in contributing to the world or taking care of myself. Though I am still able to find those bouts of joy - being with friends, dancing to a good song, watching butterflies - a lot more of my time is spent distracting myself with media. My trip to Switzerland was also a really good feeling - I think that I gravitate towards specific experiences that felt good rather than bad, which is a dispositional trait for which I'm grateful. It felt like coming back into a part of myself that I love but that had been dormant. I felt like myself. The person I get to be when traveling - social but anonymous, learning passively all the time, exposed to cultural difference and new stimuli, constantly observing, experiencing and reflecting - I love her. It's one of my truest selves and it's also one of my most private - only I get to experience who I am when I'm traveling. I guess that's the beautiful selfishness the astrologer was referring to after all. It also felt so good to walk to work - to walk with purpose! - to be among people and coworkers. Moving to Berkeley has been harder and not expansive. Notably so, because there's an expectation that moving is inherently an expansion. It's an easy move, as far as these things go. I already have friends, I have a job, I am having new experiences. But there is something I miss about not having to learn a new place, because the Bay is so familiar. And my job has been isolating, as has my fledgling social life. I know it will get better, I just wish I wasn't doing it during the dragging tail of a too-long pandemic.

I rode with The Dynamos! 350km around St Alfred’s Way, mostly off road, 10hrs in the saddle each day. At the time, it was pretty tricky, but I’m grateful I did it, I’m relieved I made it to the end and I’ve been truly inspired by becoming fitter

Teaching online taught me that I can do anything I set my mind to, no matter how challenging! But it also reminded me of the importance of setting boundaries. I allowed work to consume every waking hour, pushing out my family, friends, and even myself. I understand better now that self-care matters, even when it seems impossible.

I got pregnant! After several years of trying, each month trying harder than the next, we finally did it. We got pregnant in September of last year (found out on our anniversary!), and then miscarried at 6 weeks. For that one, we had not done a fertility treatment, so at least that confirmed we're able to get pregnant naturally. We had done one in the August cycle, but not September. Then we tried a fertility treatment after that, and my ovaries were over-stimulated, creating too many mature eggs. So we did not proceed with a trigger shot and sex. Actually, we did have sex. Once. Thankfully, nothing happened. Then we did another fertility treatment (Only taking the Clomid pills and not the Ovidrel shot), which resulted in a more acceptable number of mature eggs, so we did the trigger shot, had plenty of sex, and voila!! We got hCG levels through the roof! That scared the fertility doctor, Dr. Christie. By the rising hCG numbers, he thought maybe we had multiples! We were able to confirm during our first ultrasound that it was a singleton. How exciting! Now I'm 32 weeks pregnant. It's been a VERY SMOOTH pregnancy. No nausea, no aches and pains (until recently, with the heavy belly), no medical issues... Just one failed glucose test, which wasn't a big deal because I passed the 3-hour one. Anyway, I'm so happy to be pregnant! It's such a wonderful feeling! My belly is so big and beautiful now, and soon I'll have a little boy. Scary!

End of October last year I got hit by a car while biking. I got back up and walked to work. Nothing happened but also: 1. I realised I should've allowed myself to wallow a bit, to assess my injuries and take it easy. By immediately moving on, I denied myself the chance to recover. Instead of dealing with the experience, I immediately pushed it down only for it to come back up later 2. One the way down to the asphalt I thought "oh heck, and I just started liking being alive". And if that's not a good thing I don't know what it is. 3. I only got braver from that experience. Instead of letting it make me scared, it made me more alive.

Claus died. It wasn't like losing my grandparents, where I had time to prepare and it felt time for them to leave. You couldn't say "it was his time." You couldn't pretend like his story was wrapping itself up, or that there was some kind of reason. It felt unfair, and unbelievable. Some days I still can't believe it's real.

Returning to Chicago this past summer Reuniting with cousins I had not seen for 1 1/2 years and reconnecting with the city where I was born with my daughter.We were tourists and family members.

My best friend got cancer. I am grateful that after her treatments, so far, she is cancer free. I am concerned it will come back and she will die. I realize we are now the age group that will start dying.

I got fired by a family member and "sent home." I was resentful for a while, but I worked to see the learning behind it. I am grateful, because there was no way I could live up to his everchanging expectations and it was demoralizing trying to.

I started therapy and got diagnosed with anxiety (“diagnosed” is a strong word for it, this is based on a single assessment). Having a name for this helps me look at myself through s different lens and i think move forward better. I’m glad i finally asked for help.

I'll go one better, two significant experiences: 1. Open heart surgery, June 3, 2021. A new birthday to remember, given that my heart stopped, and was then restarted. Relieved that happened. Inspired to make the most of a second chance. Grateful above all else, to God, family, friends, medical folk. A source of new and renewed strength and vitality. 2. Leaving my pastorate of the past two years, unexpectedly, painfully, gratefully, and willingly. The affirmation I've received for grace under pressure, and for a ministry that touched more people than I could have ever imagined.

Going to McLean / Appleton. I wish they had been able to help me more.

I was among the first 20% of the population to get vaccinated in the country I work in and among the first 1% in the world to get vaccinated. I am extremely grateful and relieved. It helped me deal with my anger at a global society that has been led to believe in individuality at any expense to others.

My ex-partner of many years and I split up. It was not surprising; we saw it coming a long time ago and truthfully should have happened sooner. Neither of us had being in a relationship before, so we never really knew how things were supposed to be like. I’m in my thirties, but I am grateful that we were strong enough to end things – it would have been comforting to stay together, easy companionship, but it would have never been love. We deserved better. I like to think that when a door closes a window opens. Not long ago I met someone who makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. Everything feels easy, everything feels right. She is amazing, inspiring, beautiful, and complements me in every way. I can’t wait to see her every day. It is still early to know what will happen, but I am very excited. And I am all in.

The significant experience that has happened to me in the past year would have to be having control over my reactions. I am still a work in progress when it comes to this, but knowing that I can take a step back and reconcile how I feel about a certain situation is powerful to me. I have learned to become at ease with myself and patient with how I foresee the world in front of me. I am truly balanced in how I navigate how I interpret what is right in front of me as a reality. Accept patience within myself and the rest will follow is what I have learned.

Well, I learned to endure the absence of my son. I think he grew up more in this year away at school than he has in the last several. My son is a man and I am so proud of him. I want more than anything for him to find some love.

I went to a couple of meetups when Covid numbers were lower. I even went for a hike! I was so grateful to have that time with people in real life. It didn't last long as numbers are awful again, but it was lovely while it lasted.

The most significant event was the death of my Mom. Very sudden. A host of emotions erupted within me. Grateful for her she died quickly. She was very nervous about a long painful death. Very sad for me. Never got a chance to say goodbye. Loss of 2nd parent very impactful. I am now the senior generation. Next in line to pass away. Made me acutely aware in a visceral sense that tomorrow is promised to nobody. A greater sense of determination to live my life on my terms. Still experiencing days where I feel sad. I have learned that I can function effectively and feel sad all at the same time.

I quit my job. The environment had become just too toxic and uncomfortable. I was sad about, as I really enjoyed the job until circumstances changed and it went downhill. I was grateful to have the courage to make the change.

I spoke out at an clinic operations meeting, essentially yelled at incompetent people who felt they wished to share their displeasure with my exposing incompetencies. I have never lost my cool before, and was so upset, I could not catch my breath. I was angry until I spoke with a physician friend of mine who told me to own my anger, and clarity. Losing my cool turned out to have a positive effect and help provide me some closure so I can leave my current job

Teaching online was the worst. I got so depressed and anxious that I took a leave of absence from April to June. I'm still not 100%, and this year is starting rough, too. I feel destroyed w/r/t something I love (loved?), and I don't know how I will recover.

Getting vaccinated left me in tears. Good, grateful ones. Tears for then (then-)relief of worry, tears for the months of waiting, tears for getting protection on board, all to the sound of Lizzo singing "Baby, how you feelin'?/Feelin' good as hell." It was the most joyful day in a long, long time.

Opening our new warehouse in Cleveland. It’s been a big, fascinating undertaking. It’s a relief because it busted us out of a tiny overwhelmed space, and because it’s enabled and supported our growth. And it’s meant a lot of changes in my own work that have kept me interested and growing.

uhhh has...anything? happened? in the last year? Cloudy and smoky indeed. all i have is vague shifted memories of frustration and terror and smoke filled skies ok i mean i started dating sam. its big! its going well. a lot of my 10qs lately have been about how i CAN change things about myself if i work on it and about picking the life for me. i worked really hard to overcome some weird bullshit and to change some stuff about myself, and now i have this. its a big deal.

There were a lot of significant moments this year. There was a lot of growth. Many of the moments I shared with Ben Garalnick helped me grow. But it was only because of my own work on myself that I was ready to enter a relationship with someone. I am grateful to him? He showed me that you attract what you are. He taught me a lot about myself. But I mainly learnt that I can do anything, I am one with the universe and everything I desire is within my reach. I am grateful ! But I am mainly relieved, he held me back too, although the relationship was incredibly healing and intense it was also heavy.

My 92-year old mother fell and broke her hip on January 6 -- insurrection day. The fall and subsequent hospitalization and isolation during COVID destroyed her spirit and her mind. She has no short-term memory. She is angry and paranoid. It is so sad. You never know when you will last speak to someone you love in their normal state of mind. Every conversation should be precious.

My mental health crisis. Everything came to a head in December after two years of misery. I went to the hospital 12/20/20 with gallbladder pain and quickly realized it was all mental health related and that I had been lying to everyone about it. I went to a PHP and then IOP from 1/13-4/16. I was given a new diagnosis of bipolar and completely switched meds. No more benzos - ever. The last 8 months have been the hardest of my life, but also the best. I saved my own life by not moving out, by finally being honest and by actually doing everything I could to get better. I still struggle with my anxiety and sleep, but I'm actively improving my life every day. My relationship with Tim has never been like this before. We are both 100% fully committed to each other and both of our healing. We are open, honest and are communicating better than we ever have. It's hard, really hard, but I don't think I've ever been this hopeful that I am going to have a happy life that I want to be here for.

I buried my father in July. My life orientation can now change and yet I am adrift with out that center I have lived with for just under 20 years. I have had much to complete with deadlines so I have yet to deal with this change...not yet processing my emotions

Hurricane Ida. My parents are not 75 years old and still refusing to evacuate. My Dad was trying to hoard gas for a generator despite the fact that they had no water no AC. My dad finally left to get more gas. My mom still was refusing to leave and trying to save all the food in the fridge. She and my sister had a huge fight over this. My mom was refusing to sleep in the one room that was air conditioned when it was air conditioned. I really don't know what to do because I think this is only the beginning of my mom not being able to make good decisions for herself. And I'm not really sure if my dad can handle it.

I was let go from a job for the first time in my life. I have always wondered what my reaction would be. Fortunately, the situation was one that I wanted to exit, so it didn't feel bad at all. In fact, it was a relief and I was given a decent severance. This has been the catalyst for starting my own company. So.. relieved, grateful, inspired.. all the positive words.

Mom got in an accident. I’m relieved and feel blessed that she is ok. It was a beautiful experience to be able to hold space and care for her in her vulnerability. It was scary and hard.

I started writing a creative non-fiction novel about my ancestors. It is the project that gets me most in flow!

My brother got a kidney transplant from a living donor. This was a huge honor, and my entire family was insanely grateful. We know he saved my brother's life. Our families are now intertwined. My entire family prayed for my brother, and everything went super smoothly. I hope this kidney is able to serve him for a long time. I'm also inspired by the generosity of the world sometimes.

The downward spiral of my mom is taking a toll. First her rotatiion between Independent living, the hospital and rehab and then her going to NewBridge (Nursing Home). Her quality of life is horrible and it hurts so much to see her in such pain. Her floor is currently in lockdown as a staff person tested positive for Covid. My fear for her and her family is that we can't be by her side when her time comes. If her fate is written and sealed during this time, may she pass in peace with her family by her side.

Sobriety... finally. I was able to finally string a year together. This time last year that seemed to be in doubt. It has changed my life like nothing I have ever experienced before.

Things finally ended with Scott. Currently, I'm relieved, but I've cycled through all the stages of grief and some major resentment. Now, I feel neutral when I see him. He's not the one for me, never was, and I don't think I ever loved him, I just tried to because I thought I should. I thought he was a good man, and maybe he is, but he's not good for me. I'm cautiously optimistic that I'll find love moving forward.

Dina getting into English schools finals. Was so proud, and she finished fourth! it was an amazing result, such nachos.

My friends and family and I all got our Covid vaccine, which was a huge relief, and a joy to get to spend time with each other again without masks. Of course, the Delta variant and the dumbass anti vaxxers have made things more tenuous again, but I'm still super grateful for the vaccine and the protection it affords.

I landed a new job, and am slowly scratching my way out of debt. I am grateful to have work - being unemployed sucks. I am also ambitious about my prospects for improving my station, but if that doesn't happen, I am confident that I will be able to keep this line for a while and be stable and hold on. I occasionally go through moments where I question my whole desire to remain in this career, though. I am struggling more with the constant changes and challenges and personalities that make the job difficult.

I've been desperately trying to get a job as a town planner. I want to gain experience in this field and I feel like I just need to journey into this career. I've applied for so many jobs and even apprenticeship and I keep being rejected or not selected. It really makes me dig into my core of who I am and what I want because I'm not worthy yet of working in this field or getting these roles, but I'm going to keep trying but in-between trying I want to be 100% in to the life blessings i have now. Especially my role as a mom because my girls are only going to be little once and I really want them to know u love being their mom and that they make me a better version of myself. I want more in my career but this year I'm going to give my all completely to what I have now and believe that will lead me to the place I want to be

Fortnite somewhat became better, it impacted my gaming experience, yes, yes, yes, and yes

I decided to take back my life by losing weight. I realized that while I can’t roll back my age, I can slow down the process. I realized that I don’t want to be sedentary when I am old. I want muscles that move. I want my best health that I can achieve on my own. I started at 199 and today I am 149. My bp med has been halved and my blood pressure is normal for the first time in many years. I was drinking each night to curb the insomnia and I stopped that on 12/24. I think I am on the right path towards a peaceful active healthy life.

In mid-May, my partner of 5.5 years came home from work and said he no longer wanted to be in a relationship. This triggered a series of events whereby I quickly packed up my belongings in a small suitcase and moved into my parents' lakefront apartment while I waited two weeks to make sense of what had just happened. As I write this, I'm still not sure how to locate my feelings. Sometimes I am grateful. I wake up each morning and feel like I'm a friend to myself. I'm working on expressing my feelings, wants, and needs, even if it might convenience others in the process. I'm investing time in defining what matters to me and beginning to dream of adventures I never thought possible. Other times, I really miss my previous life. I miss having a companion to move through life with, especially in the pandemic during a time of continuous uncertainty. I miss the house that I invested time and energy into making a home. I miss seeing the flowers bloom on the perennials that I planted in the backyard last fall. So, I'm not sure if "relief" quite fits just yet. I'm still very in the middle, but I know there are brighter days for me ahead.

Moving into high school has been really significant this year. I was at first worried to begin high school, but then when I started everything began to fall into place. Im definitely relieved that I was able to adjust very quickly and I'm inspired by other students to try my best and work my hardest everyday of my life.

David (Bear) had a horrible medical emergency that took away his brain basically. It was absolutely horrific, terrifying, the most sorrowful time - even worse than when Noah was born. To this day we aren’t sure what caused it! The most logical explanation is that he had a stroke despite the doctors saying he didn’t. I felt absolutely helpless because I couldn’t just hop in the van and go see him! He was in Roanoke! It made me realize I need it to be more active in my financial life, and be prepared better than I was. I am so very, very grateful he is alive!

Relieved to be going through the divorce process. Disappointed that it didn't work. Trying to focus on positive projects.

I suppose the most significant thing that's happened in the "past year" is the one I'm in the middle of right now (as this year passes): Moving away from the area where I grew up, and in which I've spent the vast majority of my life. But, it's not so far away, and I can still visit my people - however, it's likely to be a far more conservative community than I'm used to. Still... there's a big part of me that wants to join my new environment - to both influence as well as become a part of, and learn from "the other". It's actually rather inspiring. So, it's time to learn some new protocols, as well as develop some fresh perspectives for persuasion.

I feel like so much has happened in the past year. I quit my job at [Company] after feeling taken advantage and abused by my boss for so long. [CEO] accused me of working another job and now they have spread negative rumors about me to former co-workers. I am still angry and resentful about it. I have trouble forgiving when I was never given any kind of remorse or apology. It sucks when you report harassment and no one believes you. It was also really stressful being forced to resign when I had no backup plan and no savings. I knew I never wanted to be in that situation again, but financially it has been really tough. Fortunately, I am still going and have managed to pay my bills (mostly) and stay on my feet which is more than I could have ever imagined. I am successfully building out multiple sources of income so I can live life on my terms.

The trial 6 month period spent in Las Cruces convinced me to sell the Los Arcos house and move to NM. After spending the summer months from May to mid July cleaning out memorabilia, I culled the 10 drawers down to 3. Finally in August, we completed the sale effective on Sept 1, 2021. Jim and Cheryl now own the house on Los Arcos. I will close on the 217 S. Tornillo house by the end of Sept. I am saddened to leave long term friends of 30 years that I had in Prescott. Adding to that feeling is the loss of Barbara Polk on August 9 and not knowing whether I will ever see Ron Barnes alive again. I don't know whether or not he will make the end of the year. I am inspired to make time in Las Cruces meaningful!

The kids are back in school! After 18 months of the kids being home with us ALL DAY EVERY DAY, they are finally back in the classroom. I am so grateful that they are back and that the teachers and staff at their schools are so committed and caring. I am hoping that the months we were together felt special to the kids, because it ultimately was a gift. We had long leisurely mornings, mid - day bike rides, long weekend getaways....all things we could not do if they were in school 5 days a week. And now, its over. It feels like we didn't place enough emphasis on how special it was and I'm sad about that, because its gone. I should feel inspired now that I have all of this time to myself, but I feel like I'm playing catchup all day long. Catch up on my health, the kids health, the house organization...all the things. Looking to get out from under this overwhelm eventually.....trying to give myself grace and time.

I had a baby, I become a mom! I gave birth "through the sunroof." I am mostly very happy and grateful, now that we're over 10 months in. In that first month I was resentful of my body not being able to birth and feed the baby properly, and shocked at how challenging it actually was to parent my kid. Now I am so happy to know him and have him and proud that my body continues to make food for him. It is all so amazing.

Biden becoming President was a significant disaster. It is just beginning to show to more people what a disaster this has been but with the help of the "elites" this has not been too apparent.

The most signifcant experience that happened to me this year is getting divorced on July 13 or 14, 2021. It affected me to say the least. I'm grateful that I have some perspective and distance on my ex's abuse and relieved that I didn't have to go to court! I'm resentful that I gave up my life for us and for him, only to be divorced by him after ten years. I'm inspired by my young boys, who I hope to raise as men who are way more aware of themselves and others, and respectful towards women and the literal sacrifice that all mothers make for their families, and ultimately the world.

Covid lockdown, then an opening. Six-day meditation retreat, Cazadero Family Music Camp. In-person visits with my mother and stepfather and mother and brother-in-law. In-person services in the Beth El Founders Grove, Tawonga Services, Rosh Hashanah with friends in backyards. So great to be with people in person again. Masking but in the office. Seeing and connecting with colleagues. We are resourceful, resilient. We can do this!

Youngest child fledged. Mixed feelings: pride, loss, relief,

I marched with Black Lives Matters protesters even though we were all on lockdown in the midst of a global pandemic, and I followed their suggestion that white people march in the front so we would be shot first if the cops opened fire on us. But I now feel discouraged that it feels like little has changed for the better. There continues to be terrible police violence against Black people. There continue to be mass shootings and no sensible gun laws. There continue to be increasingly crazy climate events -- floods, fires, etc. -- yet we continue to do nothing to address the climate crisis. I see young people are feeling hopeless; I cannot imagine the world has ever felt this close to a tipping point, and I hate that I feel powerless to affect real change. I mainly feel all I can do is focus on maintaining my own quality of life, but that feels selfish and wrong, too.

Met a man online because, bored in the house on my own for the pandemic. Man seemed nice. Figured, try my luck, so I drove from NYC to Austin taking 10 days to get here, and then found a place to live and checked out this man as an option, after which, left him, found a new one, stayed a while, realized both of them were not right for me, and am now finding my way home to New York as soon as I can, but first - minor surgery .

I began working with a bar Mitzvah student with impaired vision. I assured him we will make adjustments as necessary. We are doing well and his mother assured me how appreciative her family is for my mentoring. I feel grateful and inspired.

THE most significant experience would be my "cuz COVID" retirement. Wasn't planning on retiring then, but had no choice. I had tons of plans and projects for retirement and visiting other retired friends, finally, for lunch. Welllll, as we all know, 'cuz COVID changed a lot. At first, I was depressed and slept, a lot. I was resentful because I had clients that I had had over 16 years and never got to say a proper goodbye. I also felt very resentful, as I never got a thank you from same clients. It took about 6 months of thinking about this and I finally became more relieved. I did not have the heavy responsibilities I had had for the past 35 years. I did not have to drive 2 hours each way to clients. 'cuz COVID has changed all of our lives somehow and yes, I've been much more inspired, because I had the time I've never had. I've enjoyed my house and my husband and my life and the "free" time I have and being very grateful (as strange as it might sound) 'cuz COVID.

In late summer, I came upon a car accident in which the driver of an SUV had run a red light and hit a man on a Yamaha motorbike. He wasn't wearing shoes or a helmet, and he was laying in the street with people around him when I arrived. He died a few hours later at the hospital. I think my entire worldview shifted after that accident. The anxiety that usually holds me hostage hasn't been eating at me the way it used to. Bad times come and go and I seem to be unphased. But the man on the motorcycle still haunts me. The accident reminded me how important it is to drive un-distracted - something I'm ashamed to even admit that I needed reminding of. In another way, it made me angry for reasons I'm not sure I'll ever get over. This accident felt like the culmination of every bad thing I'd come to find in the human spirit, and this one driver's blatant disregard for public safety had cost a life and ruined g-d only knows how many others. I don't know if I know fully how it affected me, or if I ever will. I just hope I keep finding productive ways of coping with this trauma.

I finally made a visit down south to visit my mom. It was my first time visiting her since my dad passed less than a year before. My feelings toward her and my home state are always conflicted, but she needed help with a few things so I planned the trip and went. The trip was two weeks long and I had a wide range of feelings. I was happy to see my mom, happy that she had friends around supporting her, happy to eat meaty cajun food again, and happy to see a long time friend and finally meet her son. I was resentful that my mom had sort of become a hoarder and filled up the side room with things she would never use. I was also resentful of all the drinking and smoking that went on constantly. I was relieved to meet up with my cousin, who I'd been supporting through some pandemic related difficulties. It was great to see him in a stable situation, and see him again after 10 years. I had a lot of fun driving around in the peppy Kia rental car, which had so much more horsepower than my car at home. And no matter how bad each day got, I was filled with laughter every night at the hotel by watching reruns of Ridiculousness on MTV. Watching that show also kept me afloat when I came to handle my dad's final expenses, not long before.

I finally got to see my family in California, staying with my parents in SF for a week on either side of working at camp. It had been two years since I'd seen my parents and nearly three since I'd seen my sisters and niblings! I found it very restorative and sustaining, both to spend time with loved ones and to absorb as much of the northern California landscape as I could. It gave me courage going into this job search year, when I have no idea where we'll be living a year from now.

Olivia was born! As much as the whole "having a baby during a pandemic" was tough and a lot to deal with, she is a joy and so much fun!

Landed a covid-19 vaccine I'm not allergic to at the one pharmacy company in town that had a two-day supply of doses. Inspired, empowered, confident. johnson & johnson manufactury a total mess inspired my phone-in script just fourteen hours later vaccination carried out

I have decided to move back to CT. I am grateful for the opportunity to go and make more memories before he forgets. I am closing a chapter in Nashville and going back home. I am curious. I am grateful. There are bittersweet feelings. I will miss Nashville. I will be happy to be closer to the fam. I hope next year I will be happy with this choice :)

Have worked with some great people over the last year. Have a new friend at Brooks Brothers. I'm the "Old Man" and some of the younger folks look to me for advise and counsel. My grandkids are growing and are as beautiful as ever (yes, definitely biased). My daughter is getting married to a really great guy. He is asset to our family for sure!

My uncle died on Memorial Day this year. He was in the car with his wife and their dog (ironically, the dog's name is Delta), when he had some kind of seizure that caused him to have a car accident. He was fine, but when he got to the hospital, he fell into a coma and was unresponsive for 9 days. They found he was in septic shock and treated it accordingly, and he came out of his coma, which seemed like a miracle. He was on an upward trajectory but he took another turn for the worse and passed away. Being a quadriplegic, the hospital had let him lay flat too long and it caused mucus build up that he wasn't strong enough to clear. I'm still overwhelmed by grief. I've buried it inside so I don't think about it all the time, but when I do, my throat feels tight and my eyes prickle with tears. I feel a lot of conflicting emotions about it: gratitude that I was able to go to the memorial, laughter because he was a WWII nut and of course he passed on Memorial Day, outrage that he was so careful to stay safe through COVID only to be vaccinated and then have something unrelated take him from us. Did this happen because he was unable to get medical care due to COVID? Would it have happened either way? Would he have survived if the hospital had been better equipped to handle a quadriplegic patient? I'm thankful I had spoken to him over the pandemic, but I wish I'd been able to see him again. It feels so incredibly unfair he was taken from us too soon - he was the best of us, everyone's favorite. He was calm, quiet, with a razor sharp wit that often flew under the radar. He has left this huge aching loss in the world and in our family. I can't yet see the way forward into a world without him, and yet it's what we have to do.

I just had my 20th NY anniversary and I'm proud and grateful and it made me miss my mom who was my biggest supporter and cheerleader about it. I'm inspired. I wrote a love letter to NY about it and feel like I really can say what I have now is something that at one time was only a wishful inkling.

I got divorced again. I’m glad I had the strength to do it but I’m sad it didn’t work out.

Started a new position at Aims -Allied health academic advisor- 9/1, moved into a new place -8/27. Left a relationship that wasn't benefiting me, making me feel unhappy. It's empowered me, that I don't have to put up with BS and I don't need anyone. I have positive things happening in my life and new opportunities for me to thrive.

My youngest started school. It was life changing for him obviously and not always in the ways any of us would have hoped. I respect that he really doesn’t like school that much yet but my heart hurts for him. 13 years is a long time to be somewhere you don’t enjoy. I however have finally had a little time to breathe during the school days. It’s not as productive as I thought it would be but I find calm and even healing in having those few hours to finish my own thoughts.

Getting into a long-distance relationship with someone I've known for awhile and we were semi-friends since my high school days (10+ years ago). He obviously wasn't ready for any kind of relationship and has a lot of mental and emotional baggage that was thrown on me in the form of abuse. I've been resentful for some time since we broke up last September, a year ago. The experience broke me in a lot of ways; the impact its had on my life since has been ongoing. Although it was a very traumatic experience, I am grateful for its lessons.

The vaccine came out, and the vaccine was administered to me. The mental shift from "this virus could very well kill me" to "this virus will not kill me" was a huge weight off my shoulders. Conversely, all the anti-vaxx and vaccine-denier movements have been eye-opening to how selfish and horrible people can be. I am massively grateful that the medical community rallied behind developing and distributing all of these vaccinations, but disheartened that so many dumb people think they know better.

My dear cat buddy of 15 years died in March. I knew he was getting old and had some health problems, but it was still a shock. And a heartbreak. I don’t cry easily and that had me sobbing. It’s tearing me up as I write this. Katahdin was unique. I’m so appreciative of all I got to experience of this little person in a cat suit. He really had a sense of humor. This flat nose and big paws and a ridiculous snore. Very trusting, too. I’d like to invite another cat in, as a companion for our pup, and just can’t help expecting Katahdin to show up again. In this year of losses, that one has hit me so hard.

Moved from SC back to CA, losses and gains in many areas, overall glad for the move although still adjusting.

My missed miscarriage is probably my most significant life experience this year. That happened between October and December. I found out the fetus' heart had stopped beating in mid-October, but nothing ever happened. I kept having all the symptoms of pregnancy, up until I finally gave up letting the miscarriage happen naturally to have medical management, which is not the same as a D&C I learned. I waited too long to try to "go natural," I think to appease my naturopath partner, but then ended up almost having to have a blood transfusion after losing three liters of blood. It was sad that we lost the baby, but I should have taken more care of myself since we live in a time and a place where I have good medical care available to me.

My sister got married and that really made me happy for her and her wife. They are both awesome people and it was truly a blessed match.

Was really interesting reading last years answers because I felt I was in a better place this year. There are many significant experiences, but changing presidents and having the final blow be numbers from Philly was a pretty good feeling. Definitely relieved with that happening...

I/we had a babyn(end of June so he is still very young and we are still getting use to this) !!!!! I also did IVF and was pregnant during Covid. My husband and I had tried for a child since Dec. 2017 so we are beyond grateful. The process was and is challenging including physically, and we are older "just starting out" parents (I am 40). So it is a lot but it is all very special too. This child is also named after my dad who passed away when I was in my 20's and I miss him tremendously so that is very special.

There are so many events. Everything feels significant until they fade as soon as the next week begins. Labor Day Weekend we went to Makaiwa for five hours each day. I caught my first moi using a humuhumuhi`uole that an idiot had speared for pleasure and discarded on the beach. Most of my experiences are changes in the lives of people around me. I am still striving to create significant experiences in my own life. In 2019, husband had L5-S1 PLI fusion. It did not fuse and the screws had come loose. Husband had a L5-S1 revision surgery March 23. It almost didn't happen. Insurance approved it March 22. The doc was about to cancel it even though we were willing to do what ever it took to pay out of pocket. X-rays, blood tests were ordered at 3:00 pm on the 22 nd with services closing at 4:00 pm. Pain management after surgery was terrible until Dr. Chun showed up on Friday night. Pain management is still a challenge. Just today Husband met with pain specialist. We wanted to decrease his opiods because they interfere with his digestion and reduce his appetite. He's 6'3" and 149 lbs. He's getting stronger. Slowly. Anyday now, his back will fuse and the pain will diminish. It has been a hard 2 years. I am grateful for a revision option. I resent the long road of pain and the burden that falls to me. I look forward to being relieved when the pain diminishes and that burden is lifted. Since writing the above, we saw Dr. Graham and hears good news. Husband's fusion is 70%. Graham said previously the whole bottom half was un fused. Pain is not due to surgery. Fusing L4 to S1 shifts flexibility to the sacro-iliac and other systems. Those systems can be strengthened which will relieve pain

The main different thing about my life this year is getting into a relationship with Dan -- so rather than one significant experience, it has been a succession of experiences of navigating dating someone seriously and all the mostly great but occasionally stressful things that has resulted. For example, in February, the significant experience was that we ended things for 48 hours when he couldn't commit to the relationship, and then in April, the significant experience was me telling him I loved him during our trip to Utah. I am grateful and happy with how it's going and find him to be very lovely and endearing as we continue to get to know each other. It's funny that it's been a whole year but it still feels like a small sliver of time compared to a potential future where we have to continue learning about each other all the time.

This last year has been one of great change for me, personally. Starting with last summer's breaking of my foot, then upping my therapy, and focusing on couple's work, I feel myself getting closer to an integration I've never felt before. I am super grateful for all the impetus to the work I'm doing, even if it's painful and difficult in the moment.

Gosh, a lot of events! 1) Started working at C&R. Love the job. It's remote, which has allowed me to travel a lot more (NC for midwinter, Florida and NC for Pesach, the country, and EUROPE all summer!). The people are nice, which is a giant contrast to MM, where everyone sucked. It's reasonably creative and there is room to grow. And it's relaxing and not too mentally taxing. I need a break after those heard years. 2) Graduated the MBA. I'm very relieved. I now have so much time. And I'm so pleased that I completed a higher ed degree. Who would have ever thought that I would have done that growing up in BP? 3) Went to Europe for two whole freaking months with the kids!! Yes yes! Fulfilled a life long dream. Super grateful. It made me realize that I can achieve the dream of travelling and that we have too much clutter in our lives and that simplicity allows for doing more, like music and writing. DH finally agreed to a camper can or something of the sort and we can finally live a real life instead of being stuck here.

I lost my dad on May, 16th 2021, I am relieved he is not suffering w ALS anymore, but am angry that he was taken from us so soon. I miss him every day.

CovidCovidCovidCovidCovidCovidCovidCovidCovidCovidCovidCovid..............I could go on. Truth is, now that I'm retired and lucky, not much of great significance has happened. We stay home mostly. I work in the yard. I go on line. So, significant experiences are very slight and minor. I put together a virtual and Zoomed Christmas concert for the Alliance (church retired people's group). I learned how to put videos together. I have started doing exercises--I had a frozen shoulder from a fall last October and my PT instructor gave me an exercise program. It was interesting meeting virtually and the exercises really worked well. I am almost back to pre-fall. I am grateful. I am exercising more. I find everyday tasks much easier. Sigh. I think my life is dull. I am not sure that's a bad thing at my age. Too much drama and excitement is often associated with negative things.

I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer. During this past year, I had surgery, hormone treatment, and now I am just completing 8-weeks of radiation treatment. I do not know if this disease will kill me in 5 years, 7 years, 10 years or maybe I have longer than 10 years. But, I am concerned. There is so much that I still want to do in my life and now, I don't know how much time I have left. I am determined to play these cards in the very best way that I can. So I am focused on finding the best treatment and doing the best treatment as well as I can. I am applying all of my skills to survive this disease and I do not know how it will turn out. I have already consulted with 6 different MDs who specialize in my problem. And, I get responses like your should have 5 years no problem, but 10 years could be a problem. Or if you do this aggressive treatment, you should have more than 10 years. And the optimist in me believes that new, more effective, treatments will be available in the 5 to 10 year time frame.... and I just might survive this disease - or at least have more than 10 years. Time will tell !

I guess even though it’s the most obvious it’s probably the most significant. Getting pregnant. I’m very grateful and can’t believe it actually happened. Although I was really looking forward to getting to work and be done with babies/little kid stuff, I’m excited for more love and more cuddles and getting to really enjoy the baby stage.

I separated from my husband September 2020 and divorced May 2021. It was and is such a relief. I had so much anxiety and apprehension leading up to making the decision with concerned about the fall-out of a divorce but everything was and is completely fine

I decided I wanted to pursue Musical Theater professionally. This was a huge decision for me, and something that I definitely still feel a little embarrassed about. I know that I'm talented and I know that I'm working my ass off, and I know that I can do it, but sometimes it feels silly to say out loud, because it doesn't feel like a "real career." Back in the winter, when I first decided to do this, I said it out loud for the first time at the dinner table at my partner's parents place. It was me and Geoff, his parents, and his sister and her partner. I just felt silly! And it wasn't that anyone there didn't believe in me, or made me feel silly, it just feels like a sort of unrealistic goal, even when I'm making it realistic through hard work. However, I think that saying it out loud was a big deal, and sort of set it into stone. I'm usually the type of person who just blurts out all my ideas as soon as they come to me, but this one stayed within for a long time. I take that as a sign that it's more significant, and more life changing. This goal is a huge commitment, and I don't want to feel silly about it. I want to feel proud. Right now I feel a mix of both.

I guess the pandemic is still the most important thing that has been happening to all of us. But, apart from that, my health has deteriorated, so I've made some changes to the way I live my life. Not enough, mind you, but changes nevertheless. I think that's good, because I usually don't care so much about my body. Definitely a step forward for me.

I'm not sure this year has had a lot of significant experiences. We are still riding out covid and it's been quiet. We spent the holidays alone last year. We've kept a lot to ourselves because of covid. It felt huge to get my vaccine back in March but that has shown to be less of the breakthrough I'd hoped for. Because not everyone is vaccinated, my immunity means less. So I guess that big event brings up some resentment. Audie started second grade and is of course excelling despite all the obstacles in her way.

Getting Vaccinated in March was truly significant. Science really met the challenge and people were saying the Shecheyanu along with the shot. It was significant. We take a lot for granted. This past year showed me we should not and that a simple shot can really save a life.

I finally started getting regular help for anxiety and depression to include medication. Generally, I am showing better. I'm grateful to have my health and relieved that I can access health care.

Left Dropbox Regret spending so much time with management that didn't understand me, and trying to fix a sexist broken system that benefitted by being that way.

Getting the COVID vaccine (1,2 and 3rd dose) was incredibly meaningful. I have a deep appreciation for the people, research, and technology that made it possible. I saw the proverbial light at the end of the COVID tunnel after my second dose. I was so hopeful for people around the US and the world to be able to take a stand against the virus. That said, I didn't realize so many in the U.S. would take a stand against the vaccine. My third dose provided much relief as a person with an autoimmune issue, but my reaction was more mixed. I now feel the light at the end of the tunnel is coming from a train. I've lost so much faith in my fellow citizens. :(

My daughter Katelyn started having seizures - they just stopped happening a few months ago. We had many doctors and a few hospital stays to determine the cause and find a treatment. We are relieved that she is well enough to start college this month. We are thankful for all the wonderful medical professionals that helped her get better.

Finding the love of my life. This effected me immensely and i am so beyond grateful, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I passed the first year of my creative writing MA with merit. I’m not very confident in my writing ability because it doesn’t come easily, I really have to work at it, but this grade has helped my belief in my writing ability hugely.

I became a father. The doctors and nurses just hand you a baby and let you out into the world. I held the most precious person in my hands and I had to trust that I was ready. I keep hoping it has affected me enough. I'm nervous that I have not changed in the ways I have needed to.

My grandmother died. We were not close. My grandmother was a hard person to get to know. She didn't really open up about her life or her ideas about things. I imagine that her closed off demeanor protected her from feeling vulnerable or from needing to confront her very painful past. My grandfather died at 44 and she didn't really have the coping strategies to handle his loss and simultaneously parent 3 of her 4 remaining children at the home too. It's sad but I didn't really feel anything after she died. I feel sad for my mother and also regret that I didn't have more of a connection to her. I suppose I feel grateful to her as a matriarch of our family and inspired to cultivate different kinds of relationships with the people in my life than I had with her.

Descobrir a comunidade judaica em Lisboa. Finalmente ter amigos que são parecidos comigo, fazer atividades com eles.

The opening up after months of COVID restrictions started out tentatively, and then we all gained confidence and started acting more normally. It's been largely a relief, but there is still resentment from those who would force ineffective vaccines and ineffective masking upon everyone, and those of us who resent those who would place restrictions upon us. The inconsistencies among public health agencies seem to reinforce this polarization.

We moved from Oregon to New Mexico. We sold our house and decided to move to a State we knew nothing about. It was a risky move, and outside of the house problems we have been having, we like it so far. I do miss Oregon sometimes and wish we didn't leave. I miss the mornings when it was cool and the cloudy skies. I feel that some day we will eventually move back. Maybe once it's become safe again. Right now Oregon is in turmoil and it's dangerous to live there. So much violence and drugs. But I think we needed this blast of every day sunshine. And we will be ok.

I was unemployed and found a new job after 4,5 months. It was a really hard time, especially with the pandemic still going strong. My family and I had a Covid infection in spring 2020. Just before and around the easter peroid. Mostly we got through it well, but my mother got a pneumonia, wich was very scary and she still has issues from it.

Originally I had my father's death for this question. But then Q3 was a major milestone and becoming an orphan kind of qualifies. A lot. The other issues are all apocalypses related: the ongoing COVID situation, climate change, working on equity and inclusion, recognizing that this will be the new normal for the foreseeable future. There are details and specifics, but all of this depresses me. I have no desire to write about it now.

Sharon has accepted a new position. I am SOOOO grateful. I am elated that she is moving away from Laurie at WNPF. She has been such a toxic, abusive person. Good riddance!

Graduated college during the pandemic. I'm mostly bitter at this point. I had to do my thesis all online including grad show and final presentation. Right now I work at SD sheet metal managing projects, estimating and drafting. I mean, I'm getting paid salary and have my own company credit card but my "dream" of working in architecture and design has been pushed to the background.

My youngest sister’s husband died from cancer. She asked me to write his obituary and as I wrote about his great life it taught me that in spite of his shortcomings he did live a great life as a father and husband. Since they married, I had perhaps been too critical and judgmental about him (in my mind) and didn’t see his complete goodness until I wrote that obituary.

My son is engaged! I am grateful! It's also a time for me to work on myself to accept people and their foibles without feeling like it's work or acceptance - just LOVE!

I started a new job. 10 months in, I’m still not sure what to make of it and what I’ve gotten myself into. I can’t believe the work I get to be a part of, yet I’m not yet attaching to it the way I would hope. I’m learning a ton and am so fortunate to have colleagues that are truly invested in teaching me, are genuinely kind and are fully invested in our work. While the whole team is impressive, I feel a particular connection and admiration towards our retired annuitant.

Deciding to resign from UOP. Felt scared and brave and so free. Then lots of scared again. Felt very foolish at times and then also like a lioness. I am grateful I was able to do it. And grateful I did and relieved. But I still worry that I did the right thing in terms of security and money. And I’m tired. But I’m my own boss.

Seeing my first live show and experiencing live music since the pandemic started was so significant. My emotions in that moment were all over the place. I was grateful the vaccine allowed it to happen but also filled with panic and despair that it may not be safe in the future. I need to be in a room with the pulsating feeling of music vibrations in my body and sharing that experience with strangers singing at the top of our lungs. It brings me so much joy. I'm terrified it's fleeting.

Getting vaccinated against COVID! It was surreal and amazing. I cried. I felt like I finally could breathe. Obviously we're not completely back to normal yet but the vaccine was nothing short of a miracle to me.

Sister got brain cancer Makes me sad, frightened, grateful

Mother going into hospital. It has made me determined to get healthier, to lose weight and not have as many issues with my body as she does in old age.

I left home for a period of about a week. My step mom and I got into a fight, a pretty bad one, and I left. I went to stay with my actual mom and while she was at work I had alot of time to myself to think. So I did. I thought and thought and thought. Now that I look back on it, that week changed me alot. I became more independent, I stand up for myself more, I don't engage in the pettiness of others. Yeah, it makes me feel different.

Disappointingly, the most significant thing that happened this year was probably getting COVID. Such an embarrassment, honestly. I'm glad to be healthy now and grateful to have been vaccinated. I can use my story as a cautionary tale, I guess, but mostly I'm just glad food tastes like food again

This year has been a rough one. It's been hard to find significant experiences and at the same time, they are all over. The election of Joe Biden was huge, the insurrection at the capitol was huge. I think though I need to go with my first and second doses of the Moderna vaccine. I have spent so much time terrified about getting sick and my family getting sick that being able to take that step to protect myself and my community was huge. While it hasn't taken away all my fear and emotional struggles, it has definitely taken the edge off and has helped me a bit.

I had to realize that emotions were affecting me differently now, in a post-partum, pandemic world, and i needed to change my media intake accordingly, especially with reading books and watching tv for pleasure. Things just made me sad much easier.

I think there have been two most significant experiences for me in the past year--the meaningful and exciting and fulfilling experience of starting Cantorial school and completing my first Rosh Hashanah as the HHD Cantor, and the totally defeating, depressing, exhausting experience of an unsuccessful embryo transfer. This year has been filled with so many ups and downs. Undoubtedly and profoundly it has been the very worst year of my entire life. But somehow I ended it and began the next year, standing in front of a new congregation outdoors on Erev Rosh Hashanah, feeling grateful and at peace. I was extremely depressed the entire day leading up to Erev RH, wondering how I could even gather the strength to sing the liturgy. I was getting texts wishing me a Shana Tovah, and I sat listlessly thinking, "but it was not a good year, and it is not a good year now." We all wished each other a happy, healthy New Year last September, and it wasn't. It wasn't healthy and it wasn't happy. I don't know what I'm doing here. But as I stood in front of the congregation while we engaged in silent prayer after the Amidah, I had to acknowledge that maybe there is a reason I had to go through everything I went through in the past year, in order to get to that moment, standing there. I still don't believe everything happens for a reason. But I have gone through the worst year of my life, and I am still standing. And I am standing at a moment in my career where I truly feel that I am doing what I am meant to do with my life. And that I have been of service to a community that needed me. So I guess I feel grateful. I feel sad, too. And cautiously optimistic. Sometimes.

I became an empty nester. It's been much more impactful than I expected it to be, in terms of thinking about my mortality and my identity. At this point, just couple of weeks in, I'm feeling like I'm on an extended vacation, unable to believe that EVERY DAY I can make my own choices about what I want to do, without having to consider the kids' needs. It's been a very long time -- if ever -- since I've been able to do anything of the sort.

Donald Trump is no longer president. It's funny how every Tishrei the previous elections feel so far away...but they were less than a year. Saying "Ki Ta'avir Memshelet Zadon Min Ha'aretz" felt *so different* this year than it has for the past 4 years. I feel so relieved, and so much less anxious than I used to--despite there still being a global pandemic. The conversations I have with my friends are different, the divrei torah that I hear are different--it's a whole different world to inhabit.

Getting vaccinated and being able to resume a semblance of a normal life, being able to see family and friends safely.

The presidential election took a lot out of me. Everyone. Even my client in Tel Aviv went silent during the vote count -- my main contact there is a US citizen, and when she finally emailed me again, she seemed... relieved? more focused? You had millions of people experiencing collective anxiety. I'm not sure I've ever lived through such a widely shared emotional/psychological experience. I couldn't focus. My bandwidth for work was very narrow -- a couple hours per day. I think I was drinking too much, although it's hard to remember that point. And I know millions of people who are not accustomed to that kind of anxiety were additionally anxious about being anxious -- not fully understanding what this thing was that they were experiencing. When the official count came out, I half expected to return to peak productivity, but of course nothing is that simple, to say the least of the human mind itself. My grandfather died two weeks after the election results were declared; we went straight from the election to basically a daily death watch to everything around the funeral to the Christmas season to the Jan. 6 insurrection. When did I really feel relief? After the presidential inauguration? After I was vaccinated in April? I assess where I'm at daily, in therapy and writing. I don't really see the use in pointing to specific experiences that affect me, because we feel the effects of cumulative experiences, often in some kind of sequence, and there's always something else coming.

My book was published! I feel so happy and accomplished, but also a little bit on a treadmill... immediately onto the next thing. It feels both huge and important but also anticlimactic at the same time, if that makes any sense. I said in my response last year that COVID robbed me of the celebration, and I still feel that way.

Our vacation to Greece was transcendent. Getting out of the United States and into a truly different place was everything that I crave from travel. It balanced out the quotidian, stressful nature of so much of the preceding year. It was outlandishly beautiful, initially Californian in its topography, but greener and mountainous and perfect. I did all sorts of terrifying driving, which was stressful but also left me with a sense of pride. I learned to love the sea, floating in its lucid embrace. We saw such wonders, and ate such food, and the people (especially of the Peloponnese) were kinder and more open than any I've met anywhere. Within days, I wanted to retire there. I'm grateful and inspired, and can't wait to go more places!

I had the most intensely amazing psychedelic experience. It took me to a new spiritual place like I have never been to before, helped me connect with myself, my loved ones and with nature in new empathetic and kind ways

This past year I worked for the first time as a biologist in several capacities: as a vegetation surveyor and as a biological consultant and as a researcher and botanist. This work was both challenging and physically strenuous and changed my perspectives greatly on the natural world and human's impact thereof. No matter what work I perform from here on out, I'll always be a biologist!

I was very ill from Sept-January and had ongoing health issues in 2021. I'm grateful that I was able to see specialists and get healthy again.

Well... the pandemic, but specifically, the nuances and complications it presented. Isolation. Navigating myself through it as well as my two teenagers. Supporting my spouse - who has a different way of navigating. I'm grateful in that it's helped me gain perspective on what is really important and how an introvert missed interacting with people!! I was inspired to use the time period to interrupt behavior patterns to "come out of this stronger."

In May this year just before Mother’s Day and My daughters bday, she attempted suicide. She took about 15 Zoloft. We had been fighting earlier about an Ike’s sandwich and really her not being grateful and not doing nothing around the house. I left to go to the store and she called me while I was there. When I picked up the phone she said.. “Mom, I made a mistake.” I literally dropped my hand basket at the register and ran home. When I got there, my son was with her and crying. He heard her crying.. The days after felt like a blur- After 2 days in an emergency room.. she was hospitalized.. she missed a bunch of school.. it was a significant fracture in our relationship and how I feel about her depression and honestly what I am Willing to push. The first time she didn’t ask me for help.. now it just sits in my memory and haunts me. I hate what Covid did to us as a family. I don’t know if I am resentful but I am grateful that she called me.. that we got her help in time and that I am not going into the New year without my daughter.

Part of my town burned in a fire. My family and I packed up the car and fled in the middle of the night. I felt helpless and resentful of the fact that this happens now so regularly. I also felt so grateful that the firefighters were able to save so much of the town.

We went on a plane for the first time with our son. He behaved well, and we didn't get sick, so I am hopeful that once he gets vaccinated, we can travel more frequently.

My Father died..I was grateful to be able to be there during the pandemic, and able to be a part of his daily life until his passing.

Didn’t this whole year feel significant? Hard to pick just one. It was fascinating how some relationships (primarily friendships) waned while others unexpectedly bloomed. Our COVID film club, Music that Made Us with Phil and Steve, Lawrence and Julie, Jess and Erik, the Majorca crew (ah, the godsend gift of a week in Majorca!) were the blooms. The wanes weren’t so much about endings as they were long-coming realizations. Realizations that differences in lifestyle, income bracket, interests, and beliefs will continue to cleave long-held bonds as we get older. The pandemic cast all of this in harsh relief—there are the families that can pick up and just buy a house in Montana to sit it out (not us), and others who have to grind through this uncertainty closer to the bone with occasional respites (us, at least relatively). There are people that believe we should use this time to help others—equality, inclusiveness, human rights, building housing—and others that are shoring up their existences around every person for themselves and a “get off my lawn” mentality. I always considered myself and my peers the former. I was surprised to find out how many are actually the latter.

This year, I have been able to purchase my first property. It has been exciting, over whelming and all together amazing. I am truly grateful to be able to purchase the property of my dreams, but at the expense of the loss of my parents. So I see this as an amazing last gift from my parents. And I know they would be excited and pleased for me.

I decided to return to school for a career change from writing to volcanology/oceanography. It feels totally novel and it stressed me out as some old feelings and academic habits resurfaced, but I'm doing so much better this time around now that I've given everything to HASHEM and I'm going in fully observant. I'm inspired and feel prepared to weather anything, conscious of HASHEM in my corner.

The most significant experience is that Lyric died. I did everything I could and I couldn't save him. I miss that dear sweet boy so much. The ending was as horrible as it could be and I wanted it to be peaceful. He was the most amazing soul. I know he wouldn't have lived as long as he did if I hadn't taken care of him but it wasn't long enough. I feel so grateful that I got to spend so many more hours with him because I was home during the pandemic. But that also meant I felt his absence so much more keenly. I still glance over at his bed to check on him, to see if he is watching the birds outside on the feeder. He showed up at my door, a small stray kitty 10 years ago and changed my life forever. Goodbye dear boy. If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

Covid continues to be the most "significant" long-term event that's happened in the past year - we thought it was going away around July but it's surged back. I am feeling some deep, deep rage towards people who choose to remain unvaccinated and who thus are continuing to promote the spread of this awful pandemic. The thoughts I have had towards them are things I feel make me a worse person, and I hate being this way.

My brother and sister-in-law came down to my mother's place (I live locally) and an argument happened "out of the blue" that left me completely demoralised. Afterwards it occurred to me that their intention may have been to help me with emotional weight of my caring for my mother. I haven't spoken to my brother since. I want to repair the relationship but there were fractures in the relationship beforehand and I don't know to go about fixing it. I feel resentful, defeated and confused.

I am on my local school board. During the past year we were attacked almost daily with scathing vitriol regarding the safe opening of schools. It left me resentful and disappointed in my fellow citizens. I had to think long and hard about whether I would consider another term. I decided to keep going because I think I am good at it and I have deep respect for my colleagues and for the superintendent. I hope in a year from now the resent and disappointment I feel are in the rear view and I feel like we are doing good work in the district that spotlights equity for all students.

After MONTHS of trying, my parents were finally approved for entry into Singapore - and I was BEYOND grateful and relieved. It's true what they say - it's not unfortunate circumstances that are the most stressful; it's uncertain ones.

I had an arteriovenous issue in my brain and had to have neurosurgical procedures last winter, and now have dizziness all the time. It has impacted my life in lots of ways. I am tired and frustrated.

I'm finding it hard to pick just one. But I think the most significant change, perhaps, in the last year, is being able/forced to take over the shop from my former boss. It's teaching me a lot. I don't know whether or not it's a good or sustainable thing. I find myself resenting some of the circumstances which are beyond my control-- like how far away from me it is and so how long my commute is-- but it's all the things which *haven't* changed that seem to be troubling me. The things I have power over, I'm happy about. Never thought I'd be a small business owner. Still don't know if I want to be. Do I have a choice?

Pregnancy? Found our cat? Should these be in the same category? I don't know, these are always hard to fill out. I am relived and grateful we found our cat. I did not think we were going to find that animal and it was actually felt around the home the 5 weeks she was missing. Sucks to think about that some day she just wont be with us. Can't even begin to think about how worried and scared I'll be about caring for another human being.

The company I worked for for almost 20 years disbanded. I spent the first half of the year helping to shut it down. It was sad and a little scary thinking what would I do next. But also exciting to think I could finally move on. I now work for a new company. It is in a different industry. There is a learning curve in working with a new person daily, new ideas and ways of doing things. I now work 100% from home and that too is a big change. It should make for a most interesting year.

I got ketamine infusions for treatment resistant depression. I didn't think it was going to help; my gut believed if I did, I'd jinx it. I decided to just take the experiences for what they were. I'm grateful to have been able to afford it. It was not cheap. I'm grateful that I have a job through which I have insurance that reimbursed me for a large amount of it. I hate that this is our society. I'm grateful that I'm lucky, but I hate that it takes luck to be taken care of. Ketamine shifted my thinking. I have the same beliefs as I did a couple months ago, before, but the framing is different. It's less nihilistic and despairing. More angry and hopeful.

My friend Lenore Cymes died in December. I last saw her at one of RW's Virtual coffees. She looked great and I said I missed her, she said it's been a year! we should get together. I meant to call, still wasn't visiting. Her daughter, Nina, told me that she'd died. I was bereft. I drove to Lenore's house, and one of her neighbors came over. We talked and looked at her plants, the yard was locked so I couldn't see the back garden. I told the neighbor to let Nina know I was available to help her in any way she needed. Together, Nina and I went through some of Lenore's things and checked on the garden. I trimmed some of the succulents. Instead of just feeling the loss of her in my life, I was able to spend time just enjoying how well she lived her life. Her creations and wonderful endeavors. It was such a healing experience. Blessed is her Memory! and Blessings to her daughter for sharing so generously!

I passed the bar! I was sworn in as an attorney! It was the culmination of so much hard work and so much effort and study in my life. It was a little anticlimactic because of how short the swearing-in was, but it was so nice to have my loved ones watch and show their pride. It reminded me that I have a lot to be proud of, too.

My boyfriend and his son moved with with my son and me. My day to day life is affected because we take care of each other and I don’t have to say goodbye to him with sadness because I know he will be home in the evening. No resentment. He more than earns his keep. I am relieved because I had hoped to find love before my son moved out and I have. He is my life partner. I am so grateful.

The first thing that came to mind is refinancing my home. I just sent the closing wire yesterday. I’m thrilled to be able to move forward with our plans to create a duplex and have adequate space for my family. The business bankruptcy also cleared this year and my MIL sold her home for a more comfortable condo post retirement. Seems that things are falling into place and I’m grateful for the many years of patience and grace that is allowing us to live into this moment.

Aside from Covid, the other significant negative experience this past year was surviving going into anaphylactic shock & rushing to the ER. However, the positive experience was launching my virtual intergenerational, international Zoomers to Boomers Improv classes!

I lost my beautiful 30 year old daughter to a drug overdose on January 14th 2021. I can't even begin to explain how earthshattering this has been. It is a million times worse than any grief that I could have imagined. The grief and emotional pain is just relentless. She is the first person I think of every morning and every morning I wake up remembering that she is dead. I have a therapist and a grief group and a loving husband I can not imagine trying to get this without those supports.

We have joined a buy nothing group in our community. It has made me more aware of the people around us and how great our neighbours are. I feel super grateful for this opportunity to be more mindful about waste while connecting with my neighbours.

So many things, but this is the first that came to mind because it is my most shameful. I wouldn’t normally even put it in writing, but I’m drunk. I cheated on my husband. It was a guy I’ve had a history with; hooking up in high school, undergrad, and grad school. Always just physical, but the chemistry kept us coming back to each other over time. Our paths crossed again during an especially difficult time at work and in my marriage. That’s no excuse, and I’ve struggled moving forward. I convinced myself that I needed it. A weekend away, some space for the first time since the pandemic started, a chance to revisit my roots and the younger version of myself. The attention was making me feel things I hadn’t felt in a while. It wasn’t worth it and it showed me so many things. I hadn’t seen it at the time, but this guy never really cared for me beyond the physical time we spent together. I see it now, feeling used and ashamed and disgusted. I see now that what everyone says is right: real, enduring love is a slow burn. It has ebbs and flows, good and bad. It looks different than the urgent, needy, dramatic love I felt in my 20s. I’ve put my mistake behind me, almost dream like, but it’s changed me and my marriage. Dare I say, for the better.

Of all the events of the past year, what has had a huge impact is that I found Chirp, an on-line audio book company that has daily deals at amazing prices and--moreover--has a huge selection of books about procrastination, history, psychology, economics. And I can listen to these while I make dinner or lie on the balcony in the sun or setup instruments, etc. This has enabled me to expand my knowledgebase at tiny cost with great convenience. And it brought me to the idea of reframing anxiety as excitement, possibly the most powerful tool I have for getting into the work that needs to be done, despite what seems like resisatnace from the elephant!

I have finally been able to talk to the specialist doctor in my health condition, and things seem to be evolving more then they have in the last 10 years. I am relieved to know I’m not helpless.

I got married!!! Truly one of the most significant days of my life. Mark and I were so filled with joy and love. It was so special to FINALLY make it official with the love and support of all our friends and family after postponing a year. The venue was perfect, everything went smoothly, all our bridesmaids/groomsmen/family looked beautiful, and we had so much fun.

This past year, I resumed mentoring younger professionals. I had done this for college students for many years, then due to upheaval in my life, I stopped. But this year I changed my approach. Instead of mentoring students and people in their first year or two of their careers, I chose to focus instead on up-and-coming young professionals with the intent of using my now-much-deeper experience and insight to help them take successful early-stage careers and realize ongoing success at the next stage, whatever that meant for each of them. I also chose to focus my efforts on young women. I have long professed my belief that women are underrepresented and undervalued in the workforce (a view that is quite common), but other than joining groups and signing petitions, I had done little. My intent was to do what I could for individual women to help them advance toward their goals. Fortunately, the company I work for has a formal mentoring matching service. I signed up and waited. In the meantime, one younger woman who works in the same office as I do (or did before this pandemic shutdown), approached me, asking me to mentor her in her next step. Then a number of people reached out through the mentoring program, and suddenly I found myself mentoring four amazing, brilliant, motivated and capable young women. As a mentor, I could not have asked for a better group of people. It has been eight months now that I’ve been working with them. Most have made exceptional progress toward their goals. One who wanted to move from her current functional expertise and move into my area has learned quite a lot and is now interviewing for roles not unlike mine. One wanted to put her Masters degree to better use, moved to another company and is focusing more on helping people the way she was trained to do. One wanted to get better at taking a leadership role on her team, and has been practicing our methods and just accepted an offer for a more senior role. The fourth wanted to become more respected an influential with her colleagues. She is struggling, but is learning some very important skills about trust and value that I expect will benefit her. I’ve been working on my own issues over this same time period and have been focused on (among other things) getting out of my own head and becoming more empathetic and better at supporting others the way they need to be supported. This mentoring exercise has turned out to be the best practice I could have asked for. In retrospect, that seems obvious, but it wasn’t to me. It is now. Working with a wide range of preferences and personalities, needs and goals, I’ve been forced to rethink how I approach each of them to help them get where they want. It’s also been revelatory in how I see myself. These people each see me through a lens of respect, which one would expect, but also with the ability to see my unique contribution to their lives. That’s a perspective I don’t have on myself. I’ve had a mirror put up to me highlighting brightly the value I can offer to others. While it certainly boosts my ego, it also helps me see myself in a light that is very self-aware and self-valuing. It includes my drawbacks and warts, so it keeps me humble and teaches me some of my limits also. These young women inspire me. They give me hope for our future. They give me hope that the next generation of business leaders will have more compassion, heart and brilliance than the current. I am grateful for them. I am grateful for the work they do. I am grateful for what they have taught me and shown me. I am grateful that I am able to offer them something of myself. And I am grateful for what I hope will be some new friendships, bringing a whole new perspective to my life.

We celebrated my daughter becoming a bat mitzvah on March 13th, 2021, exactly one year after the lockdown began. Even during Covid, we found a way to make it feel like a real celebration. I was actually relieved not to have to make a big party, even though I *love* throwing parties, because I actually don't think *she* loves throwing parties. It felt like the whole event suited her personality and was attuned to her needs instead of mine. It was a growth moment to be sure. She exceeded my expectations on the day in terms of her grace and poise. She impresses me so much.

I had a heart attack and found I have Coronary Artery Disease and my LAD (widowmaker) was 100% blocked. I was floored to know my mortality was so fragile. I feel 25 years younger and am grateful everday that I was given the opportunity to live a clean and healthy lifestyle. I and my family/friends deserve this.

Two experiences: the vaccines for Covid, and my reactions to vaccine resistance. The existence of the vaccine, and then getting vaccinated and reaching full immunity shortly before my birthday, was joyous. I felt that the world was getting back to normal, that we had gone through something difficult together, and were coming out the other end together. But the anti-vaxxers have broken my heart. I had never quite absorbed before how many people can't reason clearly, and how many would rather endanger others than go through the least inconvenience themselves. My faith that we'll all muddle through somehow is gone.

In the past year I saw my daughter mature from a little baby who twitches and sleeps, to a human with personality, quirks, needs, words, and desires. I've been so grateful to have her as a source of joy and love in my life. There are no bad days when you know that she's around. Yes, some days are hard, but the love that she inspires in me is so big. I've also pushed past any boundaries I thought I had in my view of how much I can do - I've managed to complete an Ironman, hold and succeed in an executive job, run a business and still have a family and somewhat of a social life while raising a little baby. I never thought I could.

Lost weight and was not sure it was enough to schedule surgery- so relieved that it was!

Started sport. Feeling much better.

Last fall, I got my first-ever flu shot at the age of 49. I had made excuses for years, that I preferred a few days of lying down with the flu, that my healthcare worker wife always got the flu in spite of non-consensual annual flu shots. But really, I just don't like needles. I knew this year was different. I had to overcome my fear and get my shot if I wanted to live in integrity with my beliefs and protect my family and community. No fewer than two intimate health care working friends cornered me on the subject. There would be no wiggling out of it. My wife and both aforementioned insistent friends offered to come along, but I knew extra sympathy would just make me cry in public. I went by myself to my hospital's flu shot clinic and stood in a socially distanced-by-floor-stickers line behind two families. The party-of-2, a mother with a toddler on her hip, spoke to each other in sweet, low tones I could not make out across the party-of-5 between us. This family--Mom, Dad, brother and sister around 8 and 10, and another toddler--could have been in line for a Disneyland ride for all their lively and pleasant energy. It struck me these children were all very well behaved. The older kids seemed aware of where they were and what was coming, and now that the line had twisted just so, I could hear the cute conversation between the Mom-and-toddler pair. "I'm getting mine in my arm. Left arm! Left arm!" Mom swung her left arm instructively. Toddler, now wobble-walking on her own, sang, "Left arm! Left arm!" "You are getting yours in your leg. Which leg do you want?" "Left arm! Left arm!" The toddler stomped on the round, green SIX FEET APART PLEASE stickers, repeating after Mom. The older kids laughed and played with the two toddlers together a little, even though everyone was trying to keep the two families six feet apart. This jovial circus of calm and consent looked nothing like the fearful processions through hospital labs and clinics I experienced as a child. I watched all the kids and their parents get their injections ahead of me, heard the toddlers wail when they got stuck, took in how the big kids acknowledged the ouch and then patted each other on the backs approvingly. I got through my own shot, and watching the families head off in opposite directions on the sidewalk outside, sat down on a bench and cried.

Joe Biden was inaugurated this past year a few weeks after a group of morons tried to take over the Capitol building. I was disappointed by the Capitol riot but inspired by the inauguration, above all by the words of Amanda Gorman. That day gave me hope that, in this mess of our current world, positive things may happen.

went to hospital low blood sugar, it encouraged me to eat. I reached out to the community for help suply food.

Masa. I don't even know how to describe it. I moved to a country that I don't even speak the language, I have explored my heritage and culture and gotten closer to my true-self. I am Grateful for the opportunity. Relieved that I got out of where I was when I did. Resentful because there's always something I feel like I'm not doing. Inspired by everything.

Few notable experiences in a year of not doing much. I took a bicycle trip with my wife. Separately we camped in the Badlands with our kids. The travel was pretty good, although I was worn out by it. I guess I'm relieved that the travel is over (and no one got sick). Most of the year we stayed pretty sequestered, and as the weather turns cold I think we will again. I'm a little scared of the winter.

Oh boy. I had a baby! It has changed...everything. I am grateful, I am exhausted, I am overwhelmed, I am overjoyed. It's hard to describe how this experience has simultaneously revealed my truest self and while also pushing me to morph into a new version of that self. I love my son very much. I could go on and on for pages, in fact, but that's the gist of it, the essence of my year. I had a baby and he has changed everything and I love him so very much.

My child came out as gay, then nonbinary. I'm honestly not surprised about N being gay, but I have to admit that the nonbinary announcement knocked me back a bit. I was more concerned with how to manage the news-- do I tell their grandparents and other family members? Do they want us to tell the school? I want to be supportive and help them navigate this, but I don't know how "out" they want to be. I fear that my questions are perceived as rejection, when they're truly not-- I love my kid without reservation. And I am deeply grateful that my kid feels safe and secure in our home and knows that they can tell us anything. (I remind my mother that this is a privilege that not all parents/grandparents get when she wrings her hands about Nat's life being hard in the future.) The world is different than it was when I was Nat's age-- gender identity is a spectrum, not a binary, and many of N's friends land on different parts of that spectrum. I'm delighted that my kid has an understanding of herself to make this distinction and grateful that there are resources available to answer their questions as well as my own. (N's pronouns are she/they-- and N's beyond gracious when we make mistakes.) I'm sad that N's not comfortable sharing this aspect of their life with Jay's family, and grateful that my family is supportive/enthusiastic about my kid's announcement.

I got to see my son and bubbie meet. It was something I've wanted, needed, craved ever since he was born, but obviously supercharged by the cancellations, uncertainties, and fears caused by COVID. I feel relief more than anything. Whenever the inevitabilities of life transpire, I will always have the memories, and hopefully the photographs, of the two of them together.

My significant experience would be the crypto currency market changing our lives. Not to discount the family and how amazing everyone is doing and growing. But for that I am grateful to have bought my time.

My father died at the start of 2021. I am still processing his death and how it has affected me. He had Parkinson's Disease for almost 20 years. His mortality was an omnipresent fact through my entire adult life. His physical and mental decline shaped my 30s. As a father he could be loving, but he was also critical and hurtful. His own upbringing was marred by parents who survived WWII as German Jews and bore the psychological scars of survivors. His death left me grateful and relieved that he was no longer suffering, for the last few years of his life were torturous. At the same time I was resentful, because despite years of attempts to find resolution he stubbornly refused to even contemplate how his behavior had distanced everyone. His last cogent words to me were disparaging. In the six months since he death, and especially when I've been able to take time to myself out in the wilderness of California, I've spent time thinking about the positive aspects of our time together. I've also been inspired to forge a meaningful relationship with my young daughters wherein they feel unquestioningly supported, loved, and trusted. Working through the aftermath of his death has made me a more empathetic listener and parent to my daughters. In no small way, I'd like to think that the legacy he leaves behind is that he inspired me and gave me the strength to break the chain and be the parent that I have become.

My son graduated from Med School. He has spent a long time in academia and looks like he may have found his path.

Significantly, Trump didn't get re-elected. I was certainly relieved, although I'm also disappointed that we ended up with Biden as president. I think I feel like I trust our government less than ever, and I broadly don't feel like things are ever going to get better. I've spent a lot of my life fighting against cynicism, but at a certain point, it's just being realistic, isn't it? There's a certain freedom that comes with the creeping belief that perhaps we're the last generation to live on this planet, as uncomfortable as it is.

I got married! It was a super small ceremony. I didn't really expect to get married so soon, but it was a nice way to end the year. I felt really grateful that we got to pull it off. It felt like the universe wanted this to happen for us. It made me happy to try some things that might work that haven't worked.

Jon and I got Covid-19 last March. It was a horrible experience, not only because we were so sick, but also because it was so frightening. Sitting up all night with a toddler who is gasping for breathe and crying that he "can't do this anymore" was one of the worst experiences of my life. I was so afraid for him and I was 33 weeks pregnant so I was also scared that I would die or lose the baby. The baby did stop moving at one point and I had to go into my doctor's office after hours to check on him. Thankfully the baby was fine and Jon had one bad night and then recovered. I was very tired, lost my sense of taste, and slept for days, but ultimately was lucky that it was so mild. I am still having some trouble with my memory and word recall, but am doing much better. The experience left me relieved that it was mild for us, resentful that I hadn't been allowed to get a vaccine sooner, and worried about the long term effects on Jon. It was also I very sobering to contemplate my death over that week. I am still processing the experience.

Three things happened at once: Hannah graduated high school, Sammy graduated day school, and we put the St. Paul house on the market. Thankfully, the graduations went well. A notable surprise was having Sophie fly in and surprise everyone. Seeing the looks of disbelief and tears and hearing the screams was worth keeping the secret from the kids. After not being able to see Sophie for two years because of Covid, her trip made the graduations extra special. Putting the house on the market was stressful and a real crunch. Finding a rental, finding movers, finding storage, finding tradespeople to fix up the house...it seemed like nothing was going our way and then it all turned around. We ended up receiving three offers, all of which were above asking. The new owners asked to close sooner than originally planned and basically the sale went without a hitch. Our time in St. Paul has come to an end. On the one hand, I feel sad. This was the stepchild city that I never came to love. On the other hand I feel relieved to be done with this chapter in my life. I never liked the house and am glad to be rid of it. It never felt like home. At the same time, I miss having the space, my office, more storage, a yard for the dog – all of which we don't have in a downtown city apartment. I have such mixed feelings about the end of my time in St. Paul. I'm grateful that Hannah had a tremendous high school experience. I'm sad that Sammy won't have the same. I miss having lovely neighbors. And I'm resentful that we ended up here in the first place.

Well my whole family had covid besides me, so I was just by myself in my room trying not to get covid. I am thankful that I didn't get it, but if I got it with my whole family I wouldn't have to be stuck in my room for a while.

Starting my first full time job where other people rely on me has been a huge shift. It's the first time I've ever been a key decision maker in a work environment, and it's frankly been very stressful. It's hard to navigate decisions that affect so many people and when I often don't have anywhere close to all the info I wish I had, especially in the context of a pandemic workplace. I'm having to learn to ask more questions and be more collaborative than I am used to, and it's been difficult, but these are obviously very important skills to master.

In January, I came out as queer and non-binary. It felt like a relief. Like clinging to a cliff and carving out a space for myself. We are still on the harrowing edge of survival, but I know what is me and I love me. I feel like that truth is an anchor but also like a way of seeing everything more clearly. Like it calmed something in me. In that stiller water, the focus is more clear.

We moved from our one bedroom apartment in Astoria to a 2.5 bedroom apartment in Sunnyside. While the amount of room is certainly an upgrade especially the kids having their own room, but the new neighborhood is not as lively. Doesn’t matter that much since social life is pretty simple these days. So mostly I am ambivalent about the move. I wish I was more inspired but trying to be frank about my feelings.

Ketamine infusion therapy for depression was an indescribable gift this year. For the first time in my life I feel like...a normal person probably feels, honestly. To not be constantly tortured by my own brain...it's as close to a miracle as I've had the chance to experience.

Last school year, we kept all three of our children home from school due to the Covid-19 pandemic. This was a trying time for us as parents. We had an 8th, 6th, and 1st grader to keep on top of all school year. The 8th grader, who is normally excellent in school and takes care of herself, did not do as well due to not having direct contact with teachers. The 6th grader, who has struggled with school for many years, now had to be taken care of on a daily basis by us. It was a daily chore for myself, who also needed to work. And in the end, he did not do well with actual learning, and is now off to 7th grade. The 1st grader got ripped off by not getting personal attention with a teacher to learn to read fluently. This whole school year was a disaster for everybody, and it is an experience I never want to repeat.

I started to notice that if I step back and watch how people respond to me rather than pushing for a response I can see more clearly where I stand with them and more importantly myself. Do I trust who I am, my values or do I give way to them and their values

I started therapy this year. After months of panic attacks and increased anxiety, I decided it was worth spending the time diving into some of the issues impacting me. I feel grateful to have the support available but also feeling increased pressure in some way to heal.

Getting vaccinated. The winter was particularly hard with covid fatigue, the weather, and the 1 year anniversary of the pandemic. Since getting vaccinated I have been able to do so much more, including so many social events and things I missed so deeply. It felt like I came through something really hard and made it to the other side. It was a magical spring and start to the summer - I feel like I have come back to earth a little better, but it is still better than before.

I started attending shul in person for the first time in my home country and also officially became a member. This is for me the achievement of a goal I've had since I was a teenager. Growing up in an assimilated super atheist family and household, practising any type of religion was frowned upon and so when I started researching our Jewish roots as a teenager it was in secret. I attended shul when I was away from home (studying in the UK, doing an internship in New Delhi and in Jerusalem). I've since then moved away from my family home and it took me a while to get close to the Jewish community here for several reasons but I am happy I finally did. Attending shul brings me peace and forces me to take time away from day to day life to think about and reflect on the wider picture, as a member of a community.

I was so lucky to get to spend the whole summer at Jewish summer camp as the social worker. I really don't have the words to describe how restorative the whole experience was for me. I keep telling people it was good for all parts of me: mind, body, heart & soul. If not for C-19 and the ability to work remotely, this never could have happened. I am having a hard time readjusting to the "real world", but I kind of don't want to let go or move on. I want to live in that bubble for as long as I can.

This summer I went on a month long road trip (which was the only safe way to travel for me this year) and summitted a mountain in Colorado. It was the culmination of all of my hard work and healthy habits and I am so proud of myself for doing that. While I was there I stayed with a friend who lives a very admirable life and the entire experience was very enlightening and rewarding.

Two very significant things happened. I committed my heart to a wonderful man and I found a large dynamic birth family. I am grateful for it all - so very grateful. It all made my world so much better. I was at a place in my life where I could open up accept it, embrace it, and enjoy it. Having Scott at my side made it easier. He is the safety net to my high wire trapeze leap.

This year was the first time in my working life I’ve stood up for myself and set boundaries with employers. I’ve had 6 jobs in the last few months which is very unlike me, without context it sounds like a bad thing - but I’m celebrating the fact that I was able to recognise when I wasn’t appreciated, valued, and was underpaid. Now I’ve hopefully found somewhere I can stay and be respected, but the experience has given me confidence that I can get any job I want in my field because I’m talented at what I do, I don’t need to stay somewhere I’m not treated right out of fear of not finding something else anymore. I can have anything I want!

The process of releasing my business unfolded as I started putting the plan into motion last year. As a result, I think I (possibly forever) lost a dear friend/former business partner. We'd just grown way too far apart, literally and figuratively. Relieved in a way - her baggage was too much for me to carry, but sad, too. She was like a sister, and now I have one less girlfriend.

The past year has been a blur - last year at this time, I had a lot to write about. The start of COVID. The laying off of my job. The starting a new career at BMC. This year, it's hard for me to concentrate on a specific "significant experience." I made a lot of new friends, which I love. I spent three weeks skiing out in Colorado in February. I went sailing in Sardinia/Corsica. I'm spending this month around the country, visiting people. Overall, it's been a good year for which I am grateful.

I bought a house! It took me a while to remember this, which blows my mind. I never thought I'd be a homeowner for a variety of reasons, but the biggest being money and the fear of not being able to handle it. I would never have been able to do this without my parents - both in terms of monetary support & the moral / general support of this decision. If they had been weary of me / my ability to handle this, I wouldn't have had the confidence to see it through. I'm terrified! I have always liked being able to call someone else to fix things / take care of the house and it's overwhelming to not have that safety net anymore. I'm relieved to know I never have to move again and that I'm not at the whim of a landlord. I'm also relieved to be able to give my cat a real yard and two porches. He's an outdoor cat who has gotten into a lot of fights over the years and i'm hopeful that with this own territory / range, he'll be able to avoid these scrapes and save my bank account. I'm worried about letting myself down in terms of planning out finances and falling short of my budget plans. And I'm in love with my house and all that might come of it.

One of the most significant experiences over the past year was being diagnosed with autism. I was 95% sure that I met the criteria, but after experiencing a really horrible evaluation where the clinician didn't listen to me or take my subjective experiences into account, I started to doubt myself. Then I found another team willing to help me and gave me the diagnosis. It was incredibly validating. All of my experiences, all the gaps, finally made sense. I was so relieved. Since then, I have begun exploring what living a fully autistic life would look like for me and I have found my life so much more fulfilling since then.

I am learning to realize I do not need another person to make me who I want to be. Despite having many decades of 'life experience, I am happy this revelation is occurring. Am I grateful - absolutely. Am I relieved - I am not sure. Am I resentful - no. Am I inspired - absolutely. Trauma endured during my younger years has stifled me being me. Psychological guidance has been great. Maybe I am a slow learner, but I am glad where I am today.

My youngest daughter left pre-school and joined her big sisters at their school. I am relieved, my life is simpler, there is a simplicity to the mornings ... but I am missing parts of the pre-school my children all attended and that had been part of my life for seven years.

The dreams and synchronicities that led to me deciding to convert to Judaism. I feel inspired, renewed, relieved, refreshed, curious, awed.

My grandson Holden was born. I was so excited, as he’s my first biological grandchild, and resentful that I couldn’t meet him until he was almost 5 months old, due to the pandemic!

Nothing feels major, just a collection of minor events, all happening in the confines of my house. The most major thing I can think of, actually, was last Yom Kippur when I went to the lake and I had some good time alone, and I worked on repairing my love for my husband. Forgiveness and acceptance.

I turned 60. I was supposed to go to Antarctica with a friend as a recognition of this monumental occasion, but instead I went to the beach for a week. Ira surprised me by inviting Courtney and her family, and Kathryn and Mary came to celebrate with me. We also had some friends come and join us for a deck dinner and desserts. It was lovely and I felt loved and cared about, but of course it was not the celebration I had hoped for. Turning 60 was in some ways a big deal to me, because both of my parents died in their early 60s. As I inch toward 61 during a pandemic, in an era of fire, floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, and all of the other consequences of global warming, I cannot help but wonder if I will make it to 62, the age my mother was when she was diagnosed with lung cancer and died within months. I know life on earth can be fleeting in general, and my mother's experience is a constant reminder that my genetic heritage is not one of longevity. I wanted to make the best of my 60s in case I didn't have much of them, but the pandemic has abbreviated my options. I feel grateful to be alive and safe, but also robbed of the chance to live my life to the fullest at a time when I am not sure how much I have left.

I volunteered to be a poll watcher in the presidential election in November 20o20. Politics are important, but I find that being too involved sinks my mental health faster than almost anything. It was a small, important way that I could contribute without sacrificing too much of myself.

This year I have decided to take a step back from my job. To quit and become self-employed. I hope it will prove to be a step forward towards myself, instead.

I had a heart attack. It made me feel vunerable for the first time ever in my life. It made me feel hugely grateful for life, the people around me and ispired to live.

I fell and have a concussion. I was knocked out for about a two hours and can’t remember what happened during that time. I am still off work 4 1/2 months later. I have persistent post concussion syndrome. I have vestibular issues, eyesight issues (I fell on my left eye), neck problems, concentration, organization, migraines and I can’t drive. At this point I am off through November. Honestly, I don’t want to return because I am not sure accommodations can be made for me and I’ll get written up and finally, fired. That stresses me out and my anxiety and depression soar. I am not getting LTD but I think I’ll sue the hospital for allowing me to fall as I was leaving the ER and hit my head again. Scott is really upset that I’m still off and won’t help me with the car payments, my insurance or the phone bill. That would seriously help. I took $2k out of my credit cards for the bills this month. I have enough credit to pay through October but then I’ll have to ask Evan to help me. Hopefully the LTD will kick in. I have to pay $40 a pay ($80) a month for EXCELLENT insurance through the counter so that’s an expense that is mandatory for sure. My credit cards have to be paid. I’m carrying Scott’s car and a really hefty $350 phone bill. This is really stressing me out. Currently I have to have a neuropsychological exam, vision therapy ( $295 for the initial exam and insurance won’t cover that OR the therapy (that is going to seriously stress me out). I'm still doing PT. I don't have much therapy to draw from and my PT recommended i stop. So here we are. My suicidal thoughts have'dramatically increased but I wouldn't ever because of my beloved Evan. I am still mourning my life. I have no friends Alison abanded me. I have to beg Scott to take me anywhere other than my appointments and then straight home. Sigh. Sometimes i really do feel like what's the point. I see a therapist every other week although i haven't seen him since July i think. It's been a long time. I take medication. So, I definitely will be here next year.

It has been a year of returning. A year of Teshuva. Not all returns are good. But T'shuva is always good. It leads to growth Coming back to Denmark has been a weird experience. It is home. It is the place that I feel safe and comfortable. Yet, it has been difficult. With love, with work, with housing, and luckily, it has been easy and good with health. Housing got solved, thanks to a friend. Love... well, there is no love there. And work, well there has not been too much work. But now, the one experience I could say has been significant amongst this sea of changes: My mental health journey. Starting medication, while at the same time doing therapy. To have the lights in my head turned on, and the radios at lower volume have been a blessing. And now thanks to the medicine, therapy can help me sort out all these things in my head. All these boxes filled with resentful memories, of pain, of hurt. Most of them were done by me, not to me. The MeToo movement has opened my eyes to how I behaved, at how I got into relationships. How unhealthy it was, and how much hurt I did. I never did any crime or anything illegal, but it was definitely immoral, unethical. To be able to look at my past self and understand why things went the way they went, and to see my part in all the mess that surrounded me is a blessing. One that hurts. One that I can't undo, but I can repent. I can take action. I can be a better person.

Applying for and (failing to get) PhD funding. The failure didn't feel as bad as I expected it to and I was able to find other avenues. It makes me feel determined to achieve it in the next round, to make sure I put in the best proposal possible. There's a lot of trepidation there as well, knowing that I have to put myself out there again, put my work and ideas on the line to be judged, but I know in the end it will be worth it.

I ran into the back of a parked van on my road bike, broke my right collar bone, three ribs and middle finger. Six months later my finger and hand as a whole still don't flex properly, are stiff every morning. Send like it will be this way the rest of my life. And Gurmit insisted that I give up road biking (almost entirely), which is rather depressing if I dwell on it. So, I try not to do that.

My apartment was robbed. I see now that I am a person who wants to believe and see the best in others, so it was hard for me to acknowledge this happens to people in the real world. People like me. Not just in movies, where there are obvious "bad guys". Now the bad guys are real in the world to me. It brings me down from my naivety, and in this there is pain and also some good. It is good to be grounded in the world and feel how: no, not everyone feels safe and cradled by the world, like me. Some want (or need?) to grab that safety from others as they strain to create it for themselves. This is recent and while I strive to find compassion for that reality, I also feel anger and disgust and thieved from. My home, my time, my comfort. They were stolen with my possessions and still I am grieving.

My beautiful border collie died in an accident in November 2020. I am still heartbroken and guilty and tired of feeling so sad. I feel like it has fundamentally changed me. I always felt like I had a solid core of 'okayness' but now in its place there's this sharp little shard of grief that comes out to stab me whenever I'm feeling low.

I got pregnant, by total chance, luck and a miracle and have been for the last almost nine months basking in the miracle and wonder that is pregnancy. I am incredible, unbelievably grateful. More than relieved - as we were planning to begin IVF treatments that I was terrified of - and so inspired, especially by my amazing partner and how much he has stepped up and begun to take on parenthood before it has even begun. We are mere weeks (days?) away from the arrival of our baby boy and we absolutely cannot wait for him to come into this world and change our lives completely.

I think getting vaccinated and then double-vaccinated were huge. Changed the entire game. Life feels easier, COVID doable, and the fact that I volunteered to help make that happen - feels like I was a tiny part of it.

I lost my mom! This has been significant. I miss her every day; think about her every day. Although, in the end, I was glad she was letting go (only the last few days) I still can't believe how quickly she went. It was only a year ago that she was still vibrant, made me laugh, helped me remember things, left funny messages, her quick wit, her love. I also appreciate that it was quick and that she didn't suffer much; this would have been such a difficult year in terms of Covid and isolation - so all in all, she lived a good long amazing life - but I miss her deeply. Over time, I have come more and more to appreciate all about her - and how remarkable she truly was. mom, I LOVE YOU!!!!

My parents decided to get a divorce. I'm grateful because it's been bound to happen for a while - and this will create the opportunity for each of them to live a happier life.

For me, starting work at the winery has been a huge difference. Traveling there this summer for 2 weeks at a time. In June, I had a great trip. It was wonderful to meet with Tom and with Matt and to dream about doing something of significance for the valley. I was inspired by that trip. The valley is in severe drought. I researched it and was caught up thinking I could help. Maybe I still can help, maybe I did, by catalyzing Tom and Matt. Perhaps, I should reach out to them.

A really significant experience was a former classmate passing away. I’m 21 and in college, but he was only 18 and 2 months. I went to a rural high school so we had grades 7-12 in our school. So, I had done musicals with this kid from 10-12 grade. He was a sun among our dark void of space. He was so amazing and sweet. My freshman year of college he was diagnosed with leukemia and was in remission by my sophomore year, however, it came back with a vengeance. He was finally in remission in December, but by late February he succumbed to graft vs host (look it up it’s horrible). I knew him semi-well but was never friends with him directly but most of my guy friends had been on Boy Scouts with him for practically their whole lives. I’ve never seen them cry like that before. One of my friends was a family friend of theirs too. We were all so connected to him and he was just an amazing person. I know a lot of the time people say this just because they’re dead now, but with him I truly do mean it. He was a gift to our entire town and yet he only got 18 years, not even considering his last 3 years of high school were nothing and he never got to see anyone again (besides his parents, who both got to visit for the first time together in ages as he died) for the last 11 months of his life because of covid. He couldn’t risk having any visitors even if it was allowed at the time. I think it’s so sad when a young person dies but it truly puts it into perspective now that I myself am 21. He never was able to have a relationship, find love, go to a party, have the college experience, even have a shitty minimum wage job. No prom, no graduation, he didn’t even get to get his Eagle Scout. His project was done but he never truly got to enjoy it. It was awarded posthumously. Life is so unfair to those who deserve it the least. I am so utterly resentful.

My Father has supernaturally provided for us during this year with neither of us working outside the home but doing side hustles. I am so so grateful for His goodness to keep us and I know we were undeserving but his His mercy, grace and love has held us close. I'm humbled at my Father's faithfulness. Thank you ABBA!

My wife and I took more vacations together in the past year (Seattle, Hawaii, Seattle, Bend) than we have in the past years. I felt more connected as partners and more hopeful about our future.

My mother passed on at the end of Jan after a long battle with illness. I was not able to be with her because of the pandemic. I regret not taking the time and risk of travelling to see her, despite my fear of catching and transmitting the virus to her, and my loyalty to protecting the children and school community I work with. She died the very morning I began moving into the house she had deeded to my sister and I a few years ago. Going through her papers in preparation of her eulogy I discovered so much of who show was. I cake to appreciate on an unprecedented way the sacrifices she made for my sister and I, her fighting spirit and all she'd achieved and worked for to provide us with a heritage. Everyday I wake in this house in reminded, challenged and inspired to live as she did, a life of chesed that has positively impacted so many. I am sad and sometimes resentful that I didn't get to spend more time with her. When she got sick, we were finally coming into a new relationship of mutual love and friendship, and then I was robbed. I regret that for so much of my life were were in different countries and in conflict. I never got to experience who she truly was, and then when I finally had that chance, it was cut short.

I began my process of converting to Judaism this past year, 2021/5781. As much as I've been living a Jewish life and studying religiously (pun intended!) for years up till this point, I have found that working with my Rabbi on this deeply intentional course to be profoundly life-changing and perspective-altering. I am so grateful to be entering into 5782 as a convert-in-progress.

This past year I taught first grade entirely virtually for a full school year. Honestly, it drained me. I’m beginning this new school year wondering if I’m meant to be a teacher because I’m not sure I’ll thrive/survive this upcoming year feeling as burnt out from last year as I still do. I’m grateful I was able to stay virtual, as it definitely felt like the safest option, and the kids were AMAZING. I just can’t tell if I’m not meant to be a virtual teacher or if I’m not meant to be a teacher at all.

It starts with Covid . The knock effect was significant as it stopped a wedding at which my son was to get married in front of his family his partners family and all my good friends, I moved countries, I broke up with the love of my life...

When I look back on this past year, it is hard for me to pinpoint one exact significant moment. So much happened. I was unemployed for a long time, I got on Lexapro, I moved to DC. I read a lot of books. I decided to apply for grad school. I resent a lot of aspects of this year. It made feel depressed and sad and purposeless. But I also feel like I learned so much about myself and what I need.

There have been a few significant experiences this past year, but very few actually had anything to do with the pandemic. First, my long-time therapist let me know that I was done if I'd like to be, that I'd made so much progress with ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) since starting with her that I've got what I need. This was very affirming and validating, and though I will miss having her in my guru capacity, she offered to meet up in an informal way sort of as friends in the future, for which I am so grateful! Second, I quit my job and became a full-time stay-at-home mother this year. This was because I wanted to spend more time with the kids after #2 was born after having worked full time for a year with #1 (the cost of childcare was also almost as much as my take-home salary too). This is the first time since 2004 that I haven't been a full-time employee working for compensation. This has affected me on many levels. Many of my ways of being are just as present in this more chill set up (perseverating about play date schedules or how to fill the time in a way that is good for the kids and not bad for me - kind of like lesson planning!), but it's so nice to have the stresses of work and scheduling lifted for the time being. I think I feel a mixture of things: exhausted, elated, conflicted, inferior, superior, you name it! Grateful: that I was able to nurse Lev and another child with extra pumping for a full year (couldn't have done that with work); that this decision helped me to avoid what would have been an impossible teaching year due to COVID (teaching online from home with the kids there), that I can spend every day with Isaac and Lev and see them think, play, grow, struggle, and experiment and not miss much at all; that we were . financially secure enough to not work for compensation for a few years; that my past self being saved so much money; that my husband is so involved in all aspects of parenting even though he has to work all day; that husband has been working from home for 1.5 years due to the pandemic. Relieved: to not have the additional burden of teaching at Washington Latin while the kids are little. I never really learned to take the stress less seriously or leave it at work, and with all of those class preps and additional department responsibilities, work was never done, whether in the morning or evening. Having that anxiety fully removed is fantastic! Resentful: I feel like my IQ has dropped a fair amount or at least my ego is bruised because my intellectual and professional self have atrophied while focusing on childcare. I do miss other parts of my professional identity that I haven't engaged with for over a year: being an expert at something, being looked up to by other teachers and students, having or overhearing invigorating intellectual conversations with colleagues, etc. Inspired: Distance from work and proximity to the kids has opened up new considerations for the future that I'm not sure I would have ever entertained otherwise. For example, I'm not really sure I want to be employed full time even when the kids are in elementary school (unless at a place with more normal hours), or at least I'd really be creative with a position to pitch at Latin for real part-time job. I even successfully applied to a part-time freelance gig with a textbook company where I get to create content that I always had to scramble to get together as a teacher. Counterintuitively, this consuming endeavor has left me with a bit more time and space for leisure in the evenings now that I'm not awaking in the middle of the night to pump or breastfeed. I'm reading more for leisure, keeping up with faraway friends at least as well as I was, and even daydreaming about writing some things.

I have been going to the same Jewish sleepaway camp in Canada since I was 8. I made most of my best friends there. This year I had to go to go to a different sleepaway camp because the Canadian borders were closed. It was really upsetting for me since I wasn't able to see my best friends or go to my happy place for another summer. On the other hand, I met new people and friends at the sleepaway camp I went to in Georgia as an alternative for my Canada one for the year. It showed me that if one thing doesn't work out, I can accept it, move on, and continue being open-minded. Now that the Canadian borders are opened, I am glad that I will hopefully see my best friends after 3 years soon.

My brother died of Covid. It broke my heart but has brought me closer to my family - especially my mother.

I was able to teach from home. I was relieved and then revitalized because the students were so grateful for my flexibility and technical know-how.

The most significant experience of the past year has been the isolation of the pandemic and having to give up travel. I have been angry, sad, resentful, reigned and fearful this will never end in time for me travel independently again due to my age. I feel like my final years of independence and adventure have been stolen from me.

Returned to my home in Hawaii. It brought me new life. Every day here is a true blessing. I'm indescribably happy

In the past year we had covid19... and I'm grateful to learn that my partner and I like each other even more than we thought we did (which was already a lot). We went from evenings and weekends together to 24/7 together. Our social life shrunk and we have kept ourselves entertained and find something every day to laugh about. I resent the fact that we have missed birthdays and death days and the in between days. It feels as if we have forgotten how to be with one another. We've forgotten how to celebrate and we've forgotten how to ask for support.

I finally received a diagnosis for my mother (dementia) after waiting the entire pandemic for final confirmation. I started this process 5 years ago. I managed to keep her alive through multiple hospital stays. I got her vaccinated. I have her on housing waitlists. And now family members are fighting it. The same ones who insisted I start this process, in the first place, to keep her safe. I am extraordinarily resentful. They will not help with their time, money, routine appointments or emergency hospitalizations. This feels like it will never end. I am relieved to have the diagnosis. I quit my job because her care is so much work. I am angry that I’m a part of the sandwich generation and that millennials are so screwed and mocked by the generation that sabotaged us. I am grateful to my sibling for helping with the legal fees. I am angry that there is no estate because she is low-income and that there’s no safety net for low-income seniors. I am trying to remain hopeful that things will be different next year.

Changing career paths, or at least taking a deture. This was the biggest change. After searching for a new job, not finding anything, rejecting, self doubt, I heavy heartedly left Leket and moved to Bayit Brigade. I found a part time gig that was flexible and worked for me, but then in January I got the new job. I took it maybe due to pressure of feeling like I should be doing something bigger and more challenging with my life, or if the feeling of embarrassment from the way I felt working at the merlin, like I was doing a job too easy for me. I still don't know to this day if that was the right motivation to leave or if I could have stuck it out. In the end, it has been scary and challenging and empowering and intense and all the emotions. I think overall it's been empowering - feeling like I'm forced into Israeli society and improving my Hebrew and creating something. I'm still learning all the time and feel like I need to prove myself...I guess that is life.

I moved to Denver! I am grateful and inspired. Last year I said I wanted to, and this year I made it happen. It fills me with joy and also is making me feel behind in adulthood. Looking for jobs was hard, but I did it.

JB breaking up with me was definitely a significant experience, but I don't think it was the most significant. I think finally coming up from the depths of depression is the one I want to reflect on. It was an amazing and bizarre process of only a few weeks of going from the depression I had been in for around 6 years to not just feeling better but realizing that it was even possible to feel better. I am so glad and grateful that that changed. Everything feels easier now.

Changed teams in job. My old job was not leading to anywhere. i was learning but i always was in shadow of someone. Wanted to get more autonomy and apply my learning. Switched over to new team. After initial excitement, feel kind of low again. Still keep questioning if I did the right thing or should I change again. don't feel as passionate as I wanted to feel.

I came so close to losing Joe. It was crisis time from January through April at least with tumors and pain and relentless caretaking. It is remarkable in reading last year's answers that I made no mention of Joe's disease, nor life with the disease and the toll it takes on us. I am grateful and relieved that the clinical trial kicked in, I am pretty sure it won't last. It is a work in progress to live in the now, not in the grief-stricken future.

My 84 year old grandmother (mom’s mother) was relocated to an Assisted living facility in Oregon. She was separated from her long time companion of over 20 years after his health started to decline and he could no longer be her caregiver. Within a few months of their separation he passed away-the day before his 93rd birthday. In providing help and assistance to both my grandma and Bob during these changes, I was also able to facilitate and manage the clearing, cleaning and repairs necessary for the sale of grandma’s house. I worked with one of my cousin’s, who I came to find out is battling with alcohol addiction and dependence. This added an edge to an already timely and precarious situation of packing up the 100 year old family home, as I found myself dealing with unexpected disturbances from my cousin. It all worked out well in the end with the sale of the house and the safe transfer of grandma getting to Oregon. More than anything, I am so grateful to have a daily spiritual practice the helps me navigate through all of life’s challenges. What is practiced has paved a wave for ease, for peace and for happiness. I am so fortunate to have these opportunities to be of service. On call to the Universe. I love my job.

My youngest son turned 1! The year has gone by so quickly, so I have mixed feelings. I am so happy to have a husband and two healthy happy children, and love the time we can spend with each other. On the other hand time goes by so fast, especially due to the Covid19 situation. Nothing else has happened. For 1,5 years everything has been standing still. And this adds to the feeling that the rest of my life has been stuck for years now and I can't get out of it.

I sold my house, picked up my whole life and family, and moved to another country to live with my partner and his family. I'm still adjusting, and it's been the hardest thing besides becoming a parent. But it's changed the course of my life, and--I still think--it's for the better.

My father died on 9/1/20, the worst of years in every way I can think of. All my supports were suspended, no exercise classes, no church activities, no meeting with friends. The overarching feeling I have is confusion and sadness. I feel empty, still feel isolated and a little hopeless about ever regaining my equilibrium. I feel vaguely unhappy and unmotivated. I'm hopeful that I will adapt at the least and find more life satisfaction at best. I have some hope that things will get back to a new normal.

Oh my gosh so much has happened in the past year…. addiction was still prevalent in a destructive way around this time last year, even though I was trying to get help through therapy, I was stumbling still. In november I went to detox, but the most significant thing that happened was probably going to Parker Valley Hope in February. And yes, I felt all those things about it… grateful, relieved, resentful, inspired. I was angry and scared and unsure of everything. I was terrified of the way my life was beginning to turn with alcohol and an inability to control it or stay away from it, but I guess I still needed further to fall (to come to a surrender resulting in complete abstinence) and it wasn’t until after finding myself addicted to fentanyl that I realized just how destructive, devastating, all-consuming, and terrifying addiction was going to get. it took me to darker places than i ever thought it would so fucking fast. I am so eternally grateful that I was able to go to PVH, and I feel so incredibly lucky for that blessing. I met Cody, the love of my life. I feel hopeful again, following a relapse, that we can still build a beautiful life together, and I feel hopeful that no matter what, it is possible for me to build a beautiful life now, finally unlocking my potential and working hard -through NA- to become the person that i’ve always wanted to be. But even now, I am already so proud of how far i’ve come. i’m so happy with where I find myself in life now, i’m so thankful there is a way out, not only just of addiction, but of all the things that have held me back. There are so many blessings in my life that I can see today. I have my beautiful, wonderful family, I have a relationship that i am happy in, I have Poppy and now Albus. i’m about to start cosmetology school in 2 days. This past year brought me to my knees, and then lifted me up to a point that I wouldn’t have believed possible. I feel lucky and grateful.

I got married to the love of my life. I am grateful and also relieved from the stress.

I finished my PhD program, and now I’m officially a doctor. And I have all the feelings about it. Relieved. Resentful. Inspired. It was only 7 months ago that I turned in the final version of my dissertation, but it already feels like years. And it was *so* hard to find a sense of emotional, physical, and spiritual normalcy once it was done. I thought I had prepped for the free time I would have. But the double whammy of finishing a doctorate while in an active pandemic was something that was impossible to prepare for. I continued to remain pretty isolated, unsure of how to do nice things for myself or spend my time in a leisurely way. I *think* I have started to do that now. I *think* I’ve turned the corner and am feeling invigorated because of these letters behind my name. I *think* they might finally start opening the doors I’ve been eyeing for a long time.

After 6 years, I packed and shipped items to my ex, things he left behind. I'm relieved and happy how I handled it and myself.

I spent more time traveling and spending time with my family. Then I got an amazing job and moved across the country.

Beginning to learn how to get into contact with my spiritual side and pray - the support I can get from this when I'm very down. It's made me so grateful and a bit calmer.

I travelled to Los Angeles to see my elderly relatives and a couple of friends. I was very relieved to see my relatives; I felt immense gratitude. But I also felt like it was not as hard to make the trip and take the time as it had felt prior to going. I realized I need to make the time more often.

A significant experience that happened this year was when I went to be a camp counselor at Camp Coleman in Cleveland, GA. While I went not knowing any other adults going, I ended up having quite the enjoyable and moving experience!! I absolutely loved everything Coleman had to offer Jewishly between their daily services, Shabbat’s, and just overall warm feeling while there.

I suppose I would be remiss not to mention politics, January 6th, and another year in the pandemic because stupid people breed. Got our shots pretty early on in March/April. I’m grateful and relieved by all the govt support received this year. I’d have been doomed without it. It was weird to continue for so long doing well by doing nothing. That time has now passed.

COVID-19 has been a significant experience that happened in the past year. It has affected me in many ways including limiting the frequency I've seen family and keeping my wife from meeting my extended family. It's put a damper on eating out, seeing/hearing live music, dancing and going out. It's also changed the way I work -- mostly from home now, but still collaborative. I am grateful to be alive and that no one in my immediate family/friends circle have been seriously affected by COVID. But I do feel resentful and a bit limited/trapped.

My wife and I have been in marriage counseling, and mid-year we had to change therapists. It was a bit scary at first, because I was the one that pushed for it, and I was worried that she would not stick with the individual counseling that came along with it. It pushed me to be more aware of myself and how I process everything day to day. I am actually grateful that we had to make the change. It had given her the opportunity to connect with an individual therapist, and she has embraced the whole process. Our newer couples therapist has been even better than the last one, and I have more hope about our future together as a couple.

My mother's dementia declined during covid. Maybe this more of a confluence of events rather than one single event. She went from being able to live on her own, to needing full time care. It has been devastating, but I am also grateful that this happened at a time when I felt like the earth was standing still. It gave me the time and freedom to care for my mom.

Getting vaccinated in April was significant because it did make me feel less worried about contracting COVID-19. Since then, I feel less protected for all of the reasons we know but still it was and is helpful. Most importantly, it enabled me to get back to my fitness routine at the gym!

Truthfully this has been such a difficult and painful year full of stress and strife. Between Harris’ illness and subsequent death, Scott’s health issues, both kids mental health issues , the flooded house still not fixed and my own personal struggles and I am bent so much in this wind. I hurt. I only see hope for the year ahead. I have faith G-d has not left me.

I could answer this so many ways, but when I reflect on significance, I think of changes. The biggest moment of significance was being let go from my job. I had struggled for months at work and questioned my presence there - "was I ever enough for the organization?" As a part-time employee, I found myself competing against an intern who was only expected to last until May of 2020, but then ended up staying because she knew much more than I did about the work we were doing. Not to mention, she was reliable. I remember the day I was let go. It was a cold day in January and I went to work in the office, alone. My boss cancelled our weekly staff meeting and called me. "There is no easy way to say this. I have to let you go. Your last day can be today, but I do have to pay you. You'll sign a release and I do hope you stay in touch. You're going to do great things!" I didn't have much to say and ended the call by saying "I guess ends are beginnings." And with that, I walked away from a job that didn't give me what I ever thought it would. I was relieved. As I look to the new year, I am in a new job. I am confident in my abilities to be myself and as much as I once hurt, I am feeling strong; both mentally and physically.

I started graduate school on August 28, 2021. This is a really huge experience. It will not only change my career but also has filled a really big hole in me. I never thought I was smart enough to pursue an advanced degree in psychology. I have started and feel like I am exactly where I am meant to be. Additionally, I am so grateful to show my daughters how to follow your dreams. I am showing that in life, things don't always work out on the timeline we think they should be if we are patient they can work out even better. I am SO excited to call myself a therapist and in two very full years, I will get to do that.

The most obvious, and most significant experience that has happened in the past year is the COVID-19 pandemic. I actually didn't mind the initial days, even weeks, of the lockdown. It was quiet, everywhere, and time, for anything. But as the weeks turned into months, and then a year, and then a year and a half...I cried the first time we sat down with friends, separated and outside, for dinner. I realized how much real contact really means to me. The pandemic deepened my self awareness of who I am and what matters most.

Tim died. Well, that's a statement of fact and not a description of an experience. On the evening of July 15, having said farewell to Sharon at the end of a somewhat rocky visit and trying to be gentle with myself in the lonely space afterward, I checked emails and Facebook one more time before going to bed. There, in Messenger, the news from Barb LaVigne, that Timothy Patrick Briggs had suddenly died sitting behind the steering wheel of his truck in Bob & Jini's driveway. Over the next week, more details came. He'd been in Grand Marais to fix up the house in the meadow, the house we started building on Halloween of 1980. He'd come with his partner of more than 15 years, Katherine, and had intended to stay for two months. There must have been a lot to do after letting the house out for more than 20 years. They'd come in two cars, anticipating that Katherine might get restless after a while, and not want to stick it out for two months. He'd got as far as selling his herring boat and nets. He had a herring boat and nets? I didn't know. They were together, Katherine and Tim, in the truck at Bob & Jini's. They'd just loaded up scaffolding. There was a lot to do. Bob, ever the chatter, and Katherine (whom Bob described as "having a lot to say") were talking on the passenger side of the cab. Bob had just loaned her a book on Northshore history. They thought Tim was joking when he slumped over and appeared to fall asleep. But he was not. Bob and Katherine managed to get him on the ground, call 911, attempt CPR. He was gone. The first responders came. The ambulance. No doubt the Sheriff. But it was four hours before Tim's body left the driveway. Bob was shaken. Katherine was in no condition to drive. I wonder, now, did they cover him? If so, with what? Did they at some point in those four hours go inside? Take their eyes off of him? Katherine didn't want to stay past Sunday. Understandable. And she wanted a memorial gathering for Tim before she left. Gracious of her. Wise, perhaps. But certainly not enough time for me to get there. Barb asked me to send an Irish prayer or blessing. I found one about death not being final, about love going on. It didn't quite match the tone of the event, Barb thought, but she gave it to Katherine. The only communication she has ever had from me. Tim's sister, Chris, came up from Raymond. I wrote her a letter expressing my condolences, my willingness to be present for her, for the family. Love changes form, I said. It doesn't die. Barb says he left a mess. No will. Bob told me that Katherine attempted to drive home (back to Denver) in his truck, but Chris called her while she was on her way and said in no uncertain terms, the truck was not to leave the state. Sometime in early August, I received a letter from Social Security. We're sorry for your loss, now take a look at your widow's benefits. My monthly income more than doubled. How did this significant event I just described affect me? It split me open. It shook me so hard I reeled. I cried. I called Sharon. We were both speechless. I cried even more. I searched through the crates of photos downstairs until I found my favorite one of Tim and me, taken by Patrick, I think. My arms around Tim. He has one hand in is pocket, one around my shoulder. He looks straight at the photographer with the warmest smile. His sleeves, always too short, a billed wool cap, his cheek on top of my head. I put the photo in its simple black frame on the altar. I sat down on the love seat and looked at Barb's message, again, hoping it wasn't real. I noticed it was 12:05. The 16th. I hadn't died on the same day. I lit candles all around the photo. I went to bed and didn't sleep. I was sure I'd lost the love of my life. There would never be another. The next evening, I showered, gussied up, and decided to take Tim with me to the first event of my 50th high school class reunion. My old friend, Rod Caspers, bought me an Irish Whiskey. I could feel Tim's gift for talking to anyone. I could feel how beautiful he thought I was, how proud he was of who I became. For all of a week, I could only remember good things, only think of all that I and others loved about Tim. I felt such grief for everyone, especially Katherine. Then, Bob called, again. That's when he shared the story about the truck. Lawyers had been called. Neither of us could understand why he and Katherine were never married. And I can't remember the trigger. Maybe it was something Bob said about the house being all Tim's idea (which, well, it had been). And I remembered the first thing Tim said when I told him our marriage was over. He said, "I get the house." And then he swindled me out of it. I remembered all the darkness. A curtain went up, and I immediately knew I wanted nothing to do with the aftermath. It had been a good thing I was unable to go up north. I was relieved. My first enlarged social security deposit has been made. Tim made certain I would not leave him and Grand Marais with anything of monetary value except my degree. I had had to sign a waiver saying I had agreed to his terms under duress. There is no way to know if Tim's heart ever softened on this. I can only be grateful that we have a system that recognizes I was part of a time when he was laying the groundwork for his later successes, and proud of him for having made his way, his good way, into this world. I'm still sorting through, though not as actively. The 49th day was 9/2, and I trust his journey is safely complete. And yes, I can say I still would have loved one more sunset conversation, and yet, maybe it's best that it never happened. May his memory always be a blessing.

My boss committed suicide. I’m still not sure how it affected me. It made me sad, and I’ve thought about “could I have done more” to make her feel loved and valued. Ideally it will make me more committed to helping people who are struggling.

I'd like to think this year - we sighed a collective breathe but I am starting to think it is was just a little calm in the storm. There is so much happening in the world right now- Afghanistan is a mess but what did we think would happen after 20 years of living and protecting the country and how on this planet is this Biden's fault? Everyone looks for a scapegoat and we have a new one... the thing that has been the greatest terror of my life is Texas passing a law basically criminalizing women who seek abortions after 6 weeks - it gutted me in such a profound way and now I am doing what I can to support - tell my story, write checks discuss and march - there are things in this world that I can swallow or overlook or honestly ignore but this is one of those things that can't be - it is literally for the future of our world - it is female and it is fierce!

I rediscovered my Judaism. It’s been years - since my bat mitzvah? - since I’ve lit Shabbat candles every Friday evening at sundown. That how I counted the weeks this year. I began feeling the Jewish calendar rhythms. I began reading about my people’s faith and history.

I GOT MARRIED! And it was to one of the most compassionate and loving individuals i have ever had the pleasure of meeting. She doesn't judge me and love me unconditionally. Im SO grateful for her support and i am relieved to finally stop searching for my forever person. My Bashert

I started getting help in different ways. First, I finally got a new therapist, second, I got a running coach(aka my second therapist). I made the realization that getting help would be very beneficial, especially in areas where I just couldn't find my own way out of some unpleasant situations.

This last year the pandemic finally began to recede. I went to Boston with Josh and we also did a 19 day road trip where we made some amazing memories.

Well obviously this is my mom dying of pancreatic cancer within the span of six weeks this year. I am devastated. And yet, the whole world is opening up in new ways. I’m sitting with this quote: “those who live no more echo still within our thoughts and words, and what they did is a part of what we become."

Speaking with two of my three daughters off and on in March this year. The most communication in almost 7 years. It has been paradoxid. I was grateful and somewhat happy that communication has started, but sad and lost at what they said and how they feel towards me. However it ended abruptly without even an explanation. Even though it hurts, I want to go on and approach some type of resolution and love, if possible.

I think just the reality of the promotion and settling into my groove is the biggest thing I can think of. It's funny that my answer will be the same this year as last year, but truthfully, as soon as I got my legs under me, I got two new properties and it was finding my groove all over again. I'm still not there. And the reality is it's going to take years to get things fully into gear. I'm grateful for the continued opportunity for growth and learning. I'm grateful for the salary bump and the opportunity to continue to claw my way out of my self-induced debt sinkhole. I've realized that my Judaism is such a huge and integral part of my life as a process of moving through my work. I've let stress overtake me at times and skipped services, but the reality is that routine, the ritual, the spiritual connection, is absolutely integral to my success in managing my life. I have to be committed and stay focused on my Judaism, pandemic be damned.

I spent 2 months (7 weeks) in O'hau Hawaii. It was incredible! Hawaii wasn't a bucket list place for me, but the experience was phenomenal. One I hadn't even realized it could be! Being able to see The Lord as Jehovah Jireh in that time, at this time in my life was the most amazing experience! Getting to a place where my prayer time was reflective of who God is in my life & seeing Him do such an amazing work in me during my time there was awe inspiring. There were sooooo many moments where I just had tears, because words failed to even start to describe the experiences & moments with The Lord. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity, experiences & the ability to have such a life changing time with The Lord!

There's never a dull moment with me, and this year was no exception. The most significant experience has definitely been finally achieving my goal of becoming pregnant. I've felt a whole lot of emotions about it: anxiety about having a miscarriage (because of Craig's pigheadedness of refusing to do genetic testing on our embryos), relief that I'm able to carry a baby when I felt like my PCOS would have given me tons of trouble, pride at giving my parents and in-laws their first granddaughter, worry about being severely sleep-deprived (as all those mommy blogs love to remind you), nostalgia about having to give up a lot of my freedom as a childless woman, you name it. For the most part, I do feel happy and grateful, though, and I hope to God that it won't be as bad as I fear.

I broke my back and ankle in a major accident/fall at the climbing gym. It affected me profoundly and was the most intense experience of my life so far. I am very grateful to be alive. And that doesn't necessarily come up every minute, but I have moments that feel like miracles. Like when I was biking downhill last week for the first time again, and I was just so thrilled to be alive and here. There are certain songs I can hardly get through because they resonate with me more now. I have a sense that there's a reason I'm still here. But I am also still in a place where I have fear that I will never be physically the same again. I'm worried about what I won't be able to do. I want to be in perfect health, and at the moment I'm not and I'm not sure I ever will be. Will it still be hard to lift heavy things in a year? What about 2 years? Can I play team sports again, snowboard, climb? I also felt more seen and loved than I think I ever have as a result of the accident an my ensuing hospitalization and immobilization. I realized how many people love and care about me. And maybe that's something I knew in my head... but here was some really solid evidence. In some ways it has changed me to truly understand how people care so deeply about me. It makes me feel really valued.

On May 8, while in a rush, I was dumped off our small ATV and had a bad tibial plateau fracture. Surgery on May 12. Work up showed advancing osteoporosis despite 18 months of Fosamax. My brother John almost died exsanguinating from an ulcerated venous varicosity. (Hence my rush.) Then my brother in law Ron died of alcoholic liver disease. Three significant events, actually. I'm angry that I have osteoporosis, resentful that I have to take anastrozole for breast cancer which helps reduce my risk of recurrence but causes osteoporosis, embarrassed that I didn't or couldn't do more to improve my bone density over the years, relieved (the accident could have been SO much worse, John survived without much difficulty, and relieved for my sister that his suffering and her exhaustion are finally over) and shaken, truly shaken that my skeleton is so weak, I can no longer rely on my body's scaffolding. I am learning - trying to learn - that this is an opportunity to become stronger, maybe the strongest I've ever been in my adult life. But that lesson is very hard.

Although I thought that I would get to this question this year and not be able to share anything, I am, in fact, overwhelmed by the options that I have in choosing from. Running the distance of a marathon (26.2 miles) for the first time in May 2020 was significant on so many levels. I remember being in college and really running a 5k on the road for the first time while playing college squash. After, I told one of my coaches that I hoped to one day run a marathon. They laughed a bit at me, gently, saying that a 5k and a marathon are not exactly the same...truth! I had put running a marathon out of my mind for the past 6-7 years, until COVID happened, and gyms were not an option. Over the last year (and more!), I have slowly toned my body and built a strong running foundation. A 5k turned into a 10k, a 10k turned into a half marathon, and a half marathon turned into a full marathon. I feel strong and inspired. I feel motivated to set goals for myself that feel big, stretching myself in the process. I work well with big lofty goals in front of me. Running a marathon was never something I thought I could claim in my identity, yet here we are I can't wait to see what I will set out to accomplish next year.

My squidgy bear came into my life. He has been comforting and caring, and we have had an authentic connection, with good communication and vulnerability. I'm always grateful for him. He's helping me heal by responding to me with consistent compassion. I've spent a great deal of energy on him and he's brought me joy, as well as relieved pain. I adore him. I'm learning what a good healthy romantic connection can be like, through him.

COVID COVID COVID I think this might be the answer to every question this year but I will answer this question with one aspect of COVID and that is school. Last September, Ada went back to in-person learning for the first time since March 2020. They started with just two days/week and one group zoom meeting one day/week. Then by the end of October, Ada had school 4 days a week, then 4.5 days by May. Li Lin never went to school - BHS was closed indefinitely after the first 1/2 day of orientation. Not because of COVID, but because of PCBs in the building. She was all remote for most of the fall, then one day/week at EMS and then, finally, two days/week starting in May at the downtown high school. I am grateful for everything that everyone did -- in government, in public health, in schools - to get children back into classrooms. I was relieved to go back to work. I am inspired to keep children in classrooms and in community - but also want to keep a hold on family-centered living. Friday night family movie nights, Saturday dinner making together, the lego table in the dining room, doing puppet shows with Ada, watching Li Lin teach herself Kpop dances, playing family games after dinner. Those evenings without it being a school night allowed for more breathing room, more time, less stress, less rushing. How can we have both more school and less stress?

Lots of significant experiences this past year, from my Dad fully moving out, to Pearl and I moving in together. It has been a year full of ups and downs. Its been the hardest Ive ever worked in a relationship but also the most rewarding. Less easy but more fulfilling. I am feeling equal parts inspired and exhausted which leaves me kind 0f paralyzed right now, especially creatively and adventure-wise. I can't wait to get a new job and level up my life with Pearl even more and get back in touch with my creative self.

In the past year, I learned to code. It's kind of taken over my life, and I need to make sure it doesn't keep doing so as I go into college and beyond, but it's definitely a fun hobby/moneymaker while I'm cooped up at home. I'm wary of it, because it sounds like a sad life story an old person would tell you, like: "My dream was to make movies, but I ended up coding because of covid."

My father passed away. It was very sad. I am still sad about it. I'm also grateful to be able to reflect on what I appreciated about my father. But it's also very

Last year we had an ice storm and lost electricity for 2 and a half days. It was very cold. We had no heat, no light, no way to cook. We huddled in our dark den by the gas fireplace, our only heat source. My husband was worried to go anywhere because of fears of COVID. There was no vaccination available. No hotels were available. Joanie offered her house despite COVID but then she, too, lost electricity. No one else though- notably not my son. I felt very isolated and still feel resentful about it. But I hope I will open up my house and offer help to those in need despite risks. That I will insist on being that person.

See Covid, below. But also. Trump lost the election, but his nutjobs invaded the capital on January 6 and most of his supporters don't believe he lost fairly. Texas passed a bill all but making abortion illegally. Global warming is real. All this affected me by suddenly making me less likely to have anything personal to say. Except that we moved Betsy Dex to assisted living. That was very big.

So grateful to get out of ATL for a month and to escape the heat. It was a brave move that paid off in many ways. It made me realize how hard it is to be in the heat, how much I love other parts of the country and how much I don't love ATL. Clearing my plate of all non essential activities to focus on my health and wellbeing was important and necessary. It's an ongoing challenge. I am struggling with resentment toward physical challenges and working on acceptance while at the same time envisioning wellness - it's a challenging balancing act. It was great to be back in person facilitating and yet I am so grateful for virtual work.

I’ve been on a sick leave for most of the year so far. It’s been a significant experience on many levels. I learned to receive love and be taken care of even when I feel at my worst. I learned to take time to heal and not rush it because the body and the mind don’t follow the speedy pace modern life got me used to. I learned to accept that I am sometimes powerless and it’s been extremely hard. I learned to listen to what I need to heal and to accept that I can’t just repress how I feel anymore. It opened my eyes on how I am ready for a change in my career path. It opened my eyes on who I feel I can be myself with even when I hate who I am. It’s been humbling. Also being stuck away from home because of the virus has been hard with my sister getting a leukemia diagnosis and my twin nephews being born prematurely at 25 weeks. I’ve never felt the need to hold my sister in my arms as much as I did since I moved to Spain 4 years ago. I am grateful for technology enabling us to speak and see each other’s faces, for the medical staff she has been blessed with that take such good care of her babies and herself. I am resentful towards the crazy society we life in and the control governments are putting on us for things that violates our basic rights. I am scared of the world we live in and what it means for the future. I wonder where my place is in this new normal.

A significant experience that has happened in the past year was definitely getting my ADHD diagnosis, after having a job for only 6 months with great communication difficulties with my manager. I am somewhat embarrassed and guilty-feeling, and want to return to people I've hurt because of my ADHD and apologize and explain to them. But also I feel so much more self-aware - I literally cannot help but be myself. This is more affirming and motivating than any self-esteem quote or workshop or therapy session I've heard or attended

This year all three of us were very sick. In December, all three of us came down with strep. This led to CDiff for me (yet again). Then, I had all these random symptoms. I was constantly short of breath, my arms and legs hurt, and my chest hurt. No one could figure it out, but they gave me a LOT of blood tests and sent me to a cardiologist. Then, on Christmas Day, I noticed that my ankles and fingers were incredibly swollen. I called RFP and spoke with the doctor. I ended up seeing Dr. Maselli who was gravely concerned about how swollen my hands and fingers were. He thought it was rheumatoid arthritis and sent me first to one and then to another rheumatologist. The rheumatologist ran tests and found nothing. The cardiologist ran tests and found nothing. I was getting so frustrated, anxious, and upset that I was just feeling worse and worse and no one could figure it out. I was becoming unbelievably exhausted as well. I was sent to see a neurologist and she found nothing wrong with me either. Meanwhile, this was also affecting my GI issues in that my stomach experienced armageddon and I frequently looked pregnant. But the GI doctor could not figure it out either. I was despondent. I felt like I had lost my mind and that no one believed me about how sick I felt. From there, Josie had major GI issues and was in the hospital for three days with a tube in her throat to get her the Go Lightly she needed to clear her entire system. Almost immediately after that, all three of us had COVID-19. After 14 days of COVID-19 (and mind you, I was just shy of two weeks after my second dose of the vaccine!), Josie just wasn't getting any better. So we went back to the ER. She came back positive for Mono. So Tracy and I got tested and, sure enough, we had mono too. Josie ended up missing three months of school all told! It was awful. She just could NOT get out of bed. Anyway, I began to lose my hair. I noticed it on the floor all over the library. I also began to have redness in my face at various times and rashes on my arms. My exhaustion level kept increasing. Finally, the vision in my right eye started to go. I was sent to an opthamologist and then a neuro-opthamologist and then for a three hour brain MRI. FINALLY, this summer, I was diagnosed with a relatively advanced case of Lupus and Optic Neuritis. The optic neuritis is likely caused by the lupus. It is likely reversable. I had to go to three days of the highest possible dose of steroids as an infusion. It was in the same infusion center at Columbia Presbyterian where Mom was told she was going to die and my nurse on the first day was named Joan. That was unpleasant. Then I was put on a low dose of steroids at home until at least October 5. I am also on two immunosuppressive drugs - one major and one minor. If they work, I will likely be on them for life. I am overjoyed to finally be diagnosed. But the steroids/medications have a lot of side effects and I generally never feel well. I am also quite scared about going back to work starting Thursday with all students in-person in the middle of a pandemic with NO remote option and Delta Variant surging while I have a suppressed immune system. I am anxious about it, but not panicking. Mostly, I am just grateful to have a wonderful team of doctors and a real diagnosis. I am also hopeful that I might be in remission some time later this year.

The first thing that came to mind was receiving a raise at work after 3 years of working with the same organization, and slowly working my way through accepting and saying (out loud even) that I deserve it. It has been a process of reflection around work, money, remuneration, negotiation, self-image and many other things. So it has been interesting.

Wintering. Living with low energy and accepting that was ok is liberating, especially during the pandemic stay at home orders. Summer was a time of high energy. I wonder what the next winter will bring.

I found out that my mother has serious issues with my sister-in-law and my brother which stem from the way they're raising my nephew, and my sister-in-law's apparent unwillingness to get a job. I'm not saying that my mother isn't right but I disagree with the way she's dealing with the situation: she's bottling everything down until one day it'll explode and the consequences may be hard to predict. I'd like to set her straight, as it were, help her cope with it but I suspect I'd simply be talking to myself. My mother is a New Ager and she believes she has reached a high level of awereness. She may have but she has also reached a high level of spiritual arrogance and self-importance, which I hear is a real danger to everybody who devote themselves to spiritual self-improvement. Because of this and because I'm "just" her son, I fear that she won't listen to anything I might say, any word of wisdom I might try to impart. I have mixed feelings about this. I'm scared that the family might fall apart. My mother is an only child so I don't think she could ever understand my fear of "losing" my brother. Above all, I love my nephew and the thought that my brother and sister-in-law might move far away or even to my sister-in-law's native country fills me with fear. I'm also a bit resentful of my mother and my sister-in-law. They are exactly the same. My brother found a woman who, personality-wise, is a carbon-copy of our mother. They are both astoundingly pig-headed. Once they convince themselves they are right about any given issue, there's almost no hope of making them change their minds. If the worst happens, they will create a rift in the family with my brother right in the middle of it, probably unable to decide what to do. And if he does decide, said decision will cause pain to the other party. Neither my mother nor my sister-in-law are likely to change their ways and I fear for the future, especially my dad's, brother's and nephew's mental health. I'm also somewhat grateful. This storm of feelings that I'm experiencing has led me to meditate deeper than I've ever had to this day. It led me to study the teachings of the Buddha and of the Stoics, namely Marcus Aurelius. I became aware of my mother's and my sister-in-law's shortcomings due to their past experiences. It led me to feel much more compassion towards them and much less resentment. I learned to be less attached to people - not becoming indifferent to them, just understanding that life has its comings and goings, that nothing remains stationary, that changes are inevitable and that it is supremely important to enjoy the moments I have with the people I love and keep those moments in my heart so as not to feel sad because of loss but to feel lucky for having the chance to live them.

I moved out. I was living with my parents and when I finally packed up and moved out it felt like a huge accomplishment. Then I had a spat with my roommate which didn’t end well, but I am grateful I had that experience and can look back on it as a teachable moment. It’s also helped me speak up in my new home, and how to confront situations I don’t want to.

Returning to teaching poetry and creative writing. It has been years since I've taught either and it was inn many ways one of the perfect choices of how to grow, experiment and at the same time return to something deeply rooted, during this pandemic. I and teaching agin this fall so in most part inspired.

I got a covid vaccine! 2 shots of Pfizer so far. I am so grateful to have access to this life-changing medical science. Especially knowing that many have not yet had a chance to get it, even as many people are turning down their chance to be protected. I feel relieved and very privileged. I would feel better if more people would get vaccinated so we can really feel safe. Hoping more people do the work they need to do to feel safe getting vaccinated and that many more folks have access to it.

We sold the home in which we lived for 36+ years and moved cross country. The process was complex and highly stressful and I'm still adjusting to everything in our new community.

My Torah study group settled into a reliable group of 2 highly intellegent 40 year olds and 2 experienced sextagenerians. I am very grateful to have formed that bonded community of respect around earnest wrestling with liturgy.

I moved to a new home that my husband and I bought. I feel grateful and happy to be in my own home

My big brother died. Bernard. He was the funniest most loyal person I’ve ever known. He lost his battle to cancer and the loss of a sibling changed me. We moved and are living a life that is custom made to make my family stay close and together. This all ends. We must make spend it with those we love before it does.

Watching the world go crazy. In January there was an attempt to overthrow the capital of the US. The R's in power pretended like it was nothing and everyone one earth was over reacting. Everyone else was freaking out because we can see with our own eyes that the empire of the America is falling apart. It didn't get any better from there. Since then it's been one crisis after another with small stories here and there about how people are doing things to help each other. If Feb there was a freeze in Texas that cut power and killed a lot of people. The R's acted like this was normal and nothing to be concerned with. March, april and may were not as bad but there were still mass shootings and oh yeah covid was still a thing. I got my vaccine and the 2nd shot so I would have been able to start going around without a mask but I was still afraid to catch it. There wasn't a lot happing in June and July. Well Texas was starting to put together legislation that would suck. The effectively outlawed abortion and posted bounties for people who were trying to get an abortion or help someone else get one. That sucks. The US pulled out of Afghanistan and it was as bad but could have been so much worse. The R's are acting like it was the end of the world even though 45 was the reason we had to pull out like we did. It's pretty crazy. I forgot to mention that since 45 lost the R's have been trying to do everything they can to restrict voting rights in every possible way. Apparently they think that rights that are in the constitution are not as important as the rights that had to be added after the document was finished. Fucking hell it's been crazy.

Being able to ask Thomas a question during mystic cafe was meaningful for me. My work, my purpose to walk God as my first priority becomes clearer every day. I am grateful for how much my daily life humbles me. "Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity" (David Whyte-read by Maya as part of our monthly new moon zoom meeting).

I moved out for the first time. It was such a relief. I have space go relax and I feel like I can finally grow now that I'm not waiting for the day that I get out.

I called of my wedding three days before it was scheduled to happen. I am so relieved. I was getting married for him, for others. When I'm honest with myself, it hadn't felt right for a long time. I feel that I can breath again. But I am also sad, because he is a genuinely wonderful person, and I miss the little things of our relationship. And I'm angry and resentful. I'm angry that I had to make these decisions, resentful that I was put in the position to have to make this call, that he didn't want to see my unhappiness for more than cold feet and jitters. Sometimes making the right decision is the hard one. And my friends and family have been so loving and supportive. The people closest to me have stood by me and made me feel so loved in this difficult moment. I am full of gratitude for these people.

The long-time-coming death of my father-in-law prompted me to focus on my own mortality, what is a meaningful life, how I want to spend my final years. The experience was instructive in many ways. I was surprised and pleased at how well my husband stepped up to help his mother. I made many mental notes on how to deal, when the time comes, with the ends of my three remaining parents.

Super grateful to have been able to visit my family in israel in summer 2021. hadn't seen most of them in 2 years, and was able to soak in family. it reminded me that i like my family and that family is very important.

I felt my grief slowly and partially give way to an openness to joy and love, and I fell in love with H.

I discovered I have been in abused relationships since is was 40 years old. Feeling emotionally damaged from my last relationship. Seeing the patterns of attraction and behaviors that contribute to an unhealthy relationship. Shame and guilt for allowing it to continue as long as it did. Feeling grateful for the profound epiphany of learning more about my Self as I seek to develop a stronger me.

My husband got Covid. Luckily he was fine after a tough week in isolation, where I had to take care of him and my children. It included a surreal rosh Hashanah where he sat on the balcony with two masks, while we sat inside at the same table. I'm relieved it's over, and that it wasn't a severe case

Fighting against medical neglect/mistreatment. I feel resentful, angry, and hurt that I even needed to fight to be treated like a human and I'm proud of myself for realizing I'm deserving of proper treatment and respect. I'm grateful that this has strengthened my desire to fight for the rights and humanity of others as well as myself.

January 6, 2021. The insurrection at the Capitol. After all the craziness and tragedy, racism and anti-semitism of the last year, it was January 6 that put paid to my hopes that democracy and decency would triumph. My heart broke, my spirit broke, and I don't know what it would take to break through my despair and give me renewed hope.

Once again there are so many things that could go here but I think the most important is getting a job. This was something I have worked on for so long (a year and a half) and to finally have it pan out is a little crazy. There are a few feelings that come with this: gratitude for the people and institutions that enabled me to follow my dreams, relief that I am finally able to live the life that I had been creating for myself and with that, the recognition that I truly have come so far since the beginning of the pandemic and I feel confident and capable of taking on more responsibility and continuing to grow both in my personal and professional lives.

I left the Washington Women's Foundation on January 13th and started full time at Threshold Philanthropy I got a bonus and my starting salary was 275k. P and I merged money after this started and it was beautiful and difficult and worth it. This is more money than my mom and remo makes sometimes it doesn't feel like enough and sometimes I can't believe it's still coming every two weeks. We moved into a bigger apartment. We went to Santa Fe for a month we got P a car. All this is because of the money and the time Threshold allows. Sometimes I wonder if If I'm saving enough currently (18k in emergency fund) sometimes i wonder if i'm working hard enough. Resmaa said on thursday the work for black women is not doing the work for everyone else. I'm trying to rest and breathe and rely on my knowing. I am more than enough. There is time. There will be more money.

My mother died. My daughter had twins 10 weeks prematurely. All within a 3-month span. Two ends of the life cycle spectrum. The year was poignant, sad, joyful, challenging, painful and revelatory all at once. I am all of the feelings mentioned above.

becoming a mussar facilitator. I am eager to start a group but nervous and humbled by the responsibility

My last year has been a year of numbness. So much pain I have felt deeply in my bones, from abuse by partner, abuse by society, abuse by many systems of oppression alive in the workforce. I’m trying to keep it moving.

COVID-19 shook everything. Leaving me inspired in education, showing to have more time to focus on myself but also swiped away all my motivation and confidence

I lost my job after 4 years. I was initially resentful because I felt like I was set up to fail. After several weeks of introspection, I realized it was a blessing because it helped me see myself more as a whole person and not just my profession.

A huge experience i've had in the past year is staying a few nights in the hospital. It affected my grades, and my way of thinking. Its given me some courage, but also some fear.

My mother passed away in January 2021 after battling Alzheimer's for about 9 years, the last 3 limiting her ability to function independently. Because of Covid-19, my time with her was limited, but possible because of her enrollment in hospice care. Although we couldn't always have a conversation, I was able to bring to use sound as a way to spark something in her memory: listening to music she loved and reading The Boxcar Children (a group of stories she read to her students for years). When the time came for her to pass from this life to whatever is next, I prayed for her to find relief from her pain and struggle and to become that beautiful and witty soul those around her knew and loved once again. This year I carry those two images with me: The vibrant personality to remind me of the wonderful woman who raised me and became my friend, and the other to show me that life is short and that a illness and disease can strike at anytime--so cherish every day and at the very least, live.

The fall back into pandemic isolation with the Delta virus has bee disheartening. Even so, I have been able to get vaccinated and then continue my porch visits with one friend at a time. I am grateful, especially for the weekly commitment of my friend Judy as we studied Mussar each Monday morning.

There wasn't anything I experienced in 5781 that was insignificant. In August, of 2020, I quietly began to observe Shabbat in my non Jewish home. A few weeks into it, I found out from a My Jewish Learning focus group opportunity, that due to the pandemic, I could now attend Jewish services online. I celebrated Rosh Hashanah 5781 for the first time the night RGB z''l, passed into her reward. In California where I live, there was an earthquake. I had no idea that the earthquake that accompanied the passing of that tzadek, was also shaking my world away from it's customary behavior. That next morning, my daughter and I attended a kids service for Rosh Hashanah for the first time, with the shul I eventually converted with on Mother's Day, early May 2021. By late July of 2021, my marriage ended. In early August 2021, my adult son moved away from home and into his first taste of manhood. And in early September 2021, my daughter and I alone in our home together, celebrated Rosh Hashanah and the New Year's promise with my mother. There's nothing the same in my life as it was a year ago. Except for my love of Torah. In fact, that is actually greater than it was before. And I am grateful for that. Every part of my life from last year to today has been marred by significant loss, sorrow and suffering, except for my Judaism. The fact that my daughter is a budding, questioning Jewess is just icing on the joy of my Judaism. I feel Simchat every time I'm observant. Nothing but Torah and my children seems worth my investment of time. It is the sole thing that brings me any solace or joy.

This year we found out that we both have significant infertility factors. The first doctor only offered us donor egg IVF, which felt like a drastic and extreme option. Since we'd already talked and thought a lot about adoption, and since I'd always thought I was against IVF, it seemed like we had just been told we'd never have a biological child. I was totally unprepared for my reaction. I thought that the years of imagining and anticipating my adopted children, along with my own ambivalence (leaning toward distaste) for the idea of pregnancy and birth, would have made the news easy to handle. Instead it broke me down and made me question a lot of what I thought I knew about myself. We had all but made the decision to start the donor egg IVF process, but went ahead and got a second opinion from a doctor at Brigham and Women's who recommended that we go ahead and try one round of retreival of my own eggs. It felt like hope for the first time in a long time (this news also came the day after mom and dad's car accident, when we knew mom was stable but hadn't heard the extent of her injuries). Now as I type this, we are in the middle of that retrieval process. I know that its a long shot that we'll get an embryo out of this, in fact its a long shot that we'll get any eggs at all (my estrogen is currently only at 122 and needs to be at 300), but I'm trying to let myself hold on to hope even though it feels scary. I don't know what lessons I've learned, I don't know if they will have been worth it in the end. But I think I will be able to be at peace with whatever outcome we get.

There were a novel’s worth of significant experiences. First of all, my baby was born. My husband lost his job and I worked to support our family of (now) 3. I realized I hated the line of work I was in. I realized that I wanted desperately to change my career and do what I REALLY feel is my calling. I’m frustrated because baby is too young right now for me to really work full time on my career. At the same time, it is worth it for me to spend these early years with her intensively. I feel torn between motherhood and my vocation. My husband switched careers after he lost his job. He is now in school for his new career. It seems like it will be a better fit for him, but I’m also scared it won’t work out. Lastly, our neighborhood got too dangerous to live in with a baby. In actual desperation, we moved back in with my parents. They are very difficult people to live with. Everyday with them I am filled with fear and anxiety and anger; also gratitude, but often the anxiety smothers it. In the background of all this is the realization that most of my friends probably don’t agree with me about my political ideas. I had to ghost a very good friend because their mental illness plus political activism got in the way of our friendship. They were exhausting to be around. I feel guilty about that but also relieved.

With the help of my sister I was able to purchase a house and that house increased in equity which allowed me money to live on and fix up my other house. Grateful,yes I am ever so grateful for the house and the money and the ability to help my family and to receive help from My family.

Raising a child during lock-down, where I was her everything was more stressful than just about anything I've done in my life. At the same time, it made me be in the moment and stop worrying about macro issues to focus on things like where my daughter's missing shovel was. Or, that she wanted to bake banana bread. Which, frankly, was alot easier to think about!

What has happened in the past year? Millions have died from COVID. Millions have been vaccinated, only for the hope of a return to normal to be squashed by the Delta variant. I was vaccinated. M's grandmother died, although not from COVID. I watched a lot of Star Trek. We won the election. We lost the Supreme Court. TN reached out to me, and the hurt I didn't know I had boiled to the surface. We adopted the Form Based Code. J had a baby. B lost one. I bought a tennis skirt, and played tennis with our friends. I cannot sustain the anger I feel at the world we inhabit. It is too much. So I burrow into books, knitting, tv shows that offer an escape, or an alternative. We are three years from the Bell Riots. The imaginations of the past envisioned flying cars, which did not come to pass, and widespread poverty and class wars, which are forming as we watch. The government just pulled out of Afghanistan, where the Taliban is reasserting its reductive, oppressive beliefs on the state. The COVID emergency evictions moratorium and extra unemployment payments have lapsed. So none of the things that happened to me in the past year seem truly significant. Can anything that happens to an individual be deemed significant? And yet we say, "who saves one life saves the world entire." But my life, comfortable and predictable, feels too unchanging to contain the concept of "significant." I birthed no children. I didn't move, quit or begin a job, build a house. I lost nothing I treasured this past year. Even Mary Day, M's grandmother, is a loss that was expected. While sad, the event was not overwhelmingly so. She *was* 97. Is this the significance of 5781? That loss, and the despair and heartbreak we've suffered, have hardened our hearts, until we lose the ability to find such sorrow meaningful? The rabbi's sermon argued against this trend, quoting a prayer inspired by Ezekiel, begging Adonai to remove our hearts of stone and replace them with hearts of flesh. In the hardest times, Rabbi Tom sermonized, these are the times we must be unafraid to feel, willing to be brave in the face of the unknown, and free with our compassion and our patience. This year, I hardened my heart to stone. I safeguarded myself, I drew into my couch, numbing my mind with tv shows, and retired behind books to abandon the world. I was not depressed, which I easily could have been, so maybe it was the right decision at the time, but instead of depression, I succumbed to despair. The opening prayer we sang in services this morning startled me out of my protective shell. We started with the wordless "dai dai dai da da da da dai dai," in lilting notes, and added the worlds in Hebrew first, and then in English: Rabbi Nachman mi Bratzlav amar: Lo lehit’ya’esh, Lo lehit’ya’esh, Asur lehit’ya’esh! Ukh’she-baot tzarot aleinu — Akh lis’moach yesh, akh lis’moach yesh, akh lis’moach yesh Rabbi Nachman of Bratzlav taught us: Never to despair; never to despair; forbidden to despair! And when trouble comes upon us: Joy is also there, joy is also there, joy is also there If we open with such a prayer, I think despair must be significant. It is transformative and powerful, as an avalanche is. I hope and pray for the strength to reject this heart of stone, and find myself a heart of flesh in the coming year instead.

This past year my connections to all my kids got deeper, as did their connections to each other. Im part of the healing process from the tragedy of Ander’s molestation trauma and Skyler’s perfectionism and missed independence trauma. I’m inspired by the hope of healing, yet regretful and remorseful over how my life partner decision has turned out so different from how we envisioned it when we were engaged and newlyweds. My kids are 3000 miles away. They were heading toward their future. But now I see they are also leaving their past behind.

The ice storm in February made me feel vulnerable, helpless, furious and alerted me even more to the dramatic effect of climate change on ALL of us. When we lived in Houston, Harvey obviously had this effect, but then we moved inland and I guess I thought we wouldn't have to worry. WRONG! But it wasn't just about climate change, it was also about the infrastructure we all rely upon revealed to be a fiasco. I look back with shame because it was less than a week, but I was shaken to the core. I think I got a glimpse of how people in other countries feel and came face to face with my privilege. I thought I would be stronger and more resilient. It has made me insistent on prevention through preparation.

I quit my awful job that I'd stayed at for way too long (2 and a 1/2 years). I had a horrible, hour long commute and a terrible emotionally manipulative and abusive boss who fostered a really toxic work environment. I felt relieved, but also, it felt anticlimactic in a way. I felt depressed that I had even fallen into that trap to begin with. I felt resentful that my boss had waylaid me for so long from my true goals and that I seemed to have lost sight of what I really wanted while I was working there (which was to go back to school for art conservation). I felt sad and hopeless, even after I quit. I didn't know what to do next, and because of that I jumped/was pushed into another opportunity that I also knew wasn't right for me, ultimately. I felt, and still feel, adrift. Am I a malcontent? Do I really know what I want and will I recognize it when I see it? When I have it, finally in my grasp, will I be satisfied? I hope so. I hope I hope I hope. Maybe I'm full of hope after all.

Seeing my mom again after almost two years was overwhelmingly beautiful. I was so filled with fear last year. I absolutely thought she would get sick. I was deeply worried that she would die. So to see her and hold her and just exist with her for a while again felt like the greatest gift. She had missed so much with the kids, but we all just fell in together again with each other. We gave each other space, and got to share moments of joy, like seeing dolphins, and red kits feeding, and laughing until we cried in the car. I love her so much. My love for her feels renewed by this crisis.

My sister died. Only four years older than me, she barely had entered her senior years, and while she had complicating health issues, she seemed to be taking care of herself. I am sad, sad on and off, sometimes very sad, and feeling discombobulated. Is this my new setting? Is every year going to bring the death of people close to me? Probably a dumb questions, as I age, but really, I don't feel like I'm to a point where my siblings should be dropping, or friends (like J last year) who are close to my age. It's puzzling, too - so many emotions. There are many unknowns around her death, like why didn't she call or let us know she was so unwell she needed to go to the hospital? I am grateful that she did die in the hospital and not at home, where she could have been for many days before anyone figured it out. I'm also grateful that she provided in her will for her nieces and nephews, including my son. I knew of her generosity but expected charities or causes would be the beneficiaries. Keeping these assets in her family was a surprise. As I have talked to people, even my mother's sister, I realize how few people knew her, and of those, how few knew her well. I think of her every day - my whole life (well, since I was six) there have been the four of us. Now we are three.

Unfortunately, in April I came down with Shingles. The effects have been long-lasting, compounded by decreased vision and energy. My "get up and go" is gone; I can do one or two things a day. If I do the grocery shopping, I don't have the energy to cook dinner. Right now, I am also having problems with my sinuses, have a problem with my right eye which looks terrible but is not s sty or pink eye AND have a hernia. So far, being 75 SUCKS!!

The insurrection on January 6, 2021 was painful and heartbreaking. It felt like an attack on our democracy, which was particularly distressing after feeling a sense of relief that Trump would no longer be in an official position of leadership.

Watching the world in quarantine, then seeing the restrictions slowly lifted. I've noticed how much more friendly people are to each other, and I'm even less of an antisocial person as well.

My sister’s cancer went into remission. I’m so grateful and relieved for both of us, and I no longer need to be the caretaker.

I JOINED THE JEWISH PEOPLE!!! I AM SO, SO, SO VERY GRATEFUL AND AWED AND HAPPY AND RELIEVED (because I was nervous for the Beit Din). I cried so many happy tears that day (20th of Elul, best day of my life so far).

I had found the time, courage and strength to follow a spiritual path. It's been a challenge to my analytical brain and I'm learning, slowly, to enjoy that challenge. It's changing me for the better.

I went for my first general aviation flight on May 2, 2021 and it has inspired me to look at other options for a career path. It has been challenging and a great way to show me that, although I may be relatively booksmart, there are people out there who are more intuitive with certain things! This experience has also made me incredibly grateful and appreciative to have the means to afford it, as well as grateful/appreciative for nature and how cool it can be.

My mom had a medical emergency on her birthday. When we couldn't get a hold of her for a couple of days, I called local police to do a welfare check. Police found her down and called for an ambulance. She was diagnosed with ESRD, hypercalcemia, and vision loss. We learned she had been off all her meds for some time. She went to rehab and then moved in with us. She has been a hoarder for years. We had to clean out her house in order to put it on the market. Because of childhood trauma, it was a very difficult process for me. She has a lot of untreated depression. She is ambivalent, at best, about her medical care. She spends all day either watching TV or napping. I want more for her, but she has to want more for herself. So, the change is that I'm now I'm both legal and medical POA for my mother, managing her medical care, cleaned out her atrocious hoarded house, and attend to her at my home. I'm grateful for my husband who is willing to take this on. I am resentful of my mother for her unwillingness to care for herself and make provisions, instead consistently blaming others aside from herself for her situation (blames the doctors for not telling her over the years about her BP, kidneys; blames the neighbors for issues with the septic; blames my dad who left in 1986 for the conditions of her house; blames her mother for all kinds of things; and I can only imagine what she blames me for). [Also, my father-in-law was just diagnosed with two types of cancer.] I am grateful for my therapist who listens. I am grateful for the medical team who are helping provide for ALL of my mother's care. I am grateful that my employer is generous with sick leave. I am grateful that my sister is on board with decision making (she lives on the other side of the country). I am thankful that I have a home that is safe for my mother to live in. I am thankful for the real estate agent who is guiding us through the complex legal issues related to my mother's property. I am thankful my mom will have some retirement funds. I have so much gratitude in light of the very challenging situations we're in.

This year I relapsed. I took marijuana, first for fun then for habit. It left me feeling miserable but at times I do miss the better feeling moments of it. How do I feel now that I went through that relapse? a little more normal actually, I questioned my need for sobriety since the time I chose it back in 2007, now I feel being sober is likely the smarter choice for me in living

My twin sister's miscarriage. It made me feel so useless since she's so far away and because of the pandemic we couldn't go to her. I'm sad for both of us, even though it's been a few months. I miss her. This experience really changed how I think of our twinhood and lives as adults. Sometimes, even I can't make it better.

Uncle Barry died in August 2021. It makes me very sad. He was such a kind and loving uncle. I feel regretful that I didn't talk to him on the phone as much in these last few years, but mostly I feel grateful to have had him as an uncle. It's weird and sad and scary as my parents' generation gets older. They were so foundational in my childhood. Makes you think about death, etc. which is not what my anxiety needs.

I got vaccinated. The first shot I was emotional. I was fine as I meandered thru the various lines but as I sat down and was talking to the nurse I started to get choked up. By the time I was in chairs and waiting my 15 minutes for side effects, tears were dribbling down my face. I was wearing a mask so it was hard to tell, but I was crying. So so relieved. I had no idea I was carrying so much.

This past year I started fertility treatments, and I'm now in the middle of doing IVF. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions, but ultimately I think it has made me a stronger, more resilient, and more graceful person (that is to say, trying to approach life and my relationships with more grace). I have been required to take things as they come, accept things that are out of my control, and listen to my body. The other strange thing about the whole process is I haven't told anyone in my family about it. And while it has been awkward at times, I'm really proud of my decision. Without their involvement, I'm able to be more intentional and focus on what's right for me. I dream about the day when I can tell them that I'm pregnant, and be open about my journey. It's a strange thing to want to bring a child into this world right now, with climate change, disasters, a global pandemic, rising inequality, and just so much harm and hurt. In many ways it feels irresponsible, reckless. But then I'm reminded how in times of war, famine, disease, life has still gone on. People still fall in love, create families, get wrapped up in each others' lives. We keep going.

I quit my job. It was a huge relief to get out of it. I do feel some resentment towards my former organization, which made no attempt to keep me in spite of saying they didn't want me to go. This has left me a bit at loose ends, but in a good way.

In the past year... I just went over the entire past year with dear loved friend, an ancient friend, to reflect on what we learned in the past year. On our own, but also together. My heart learned a lot, I can say that. Specially through togetherness with him. I am so amazed about this - that it is possible to experience these things together, that love and its teachings can be such an intimately shared experience. Share something on such a substantial level. Basically to experience aliveness together. To be alive together. Meet the everpresent freshness of life in its impermanence and gradually unfolding wisdom. To meet ourselves and eachother together, from fear to hope, and shared dreams. Just a week ago, we said goodbye. For good? We do not know. That's the thing. We don't know. We let go. Really let go together. And in that void, freedom entered. Love flourished fully. And into that open space, gratitude made its nest. And alongside limitless gratitude, freeflowing love and the act of letting go - the heart went thorugh a metamorphosis. The heart unlocked its infinite inner resourches of presence, confidence and guidance. It has taken the lead and ever since, I haven't felt like falling apart. It's a pulsing certainty of reassurance that really nourishes a certain relationship with the perpetually changing reality. A relationship based on trust, fed by the outpour of love. Unconditional, they ask. I have a feeling, yes. I feel astonished and immensely grateful. I aspire to follow. Aho.

This year, 2020, two significant things happened. One feels like I had no other good choice, and one feels like I finally made a choice after feeling stuck for years. The first was the experience of becoming the director of my office. There wasn't another good choice, since the prior director was retiring, and we had two new staff. Either I trained three new people, or I became director and brought her back half-time (she's a great asset.) I never wanted the leadership role, but loved my work prior to this. Now, it's a huge stressor, and I'm resentful that I can't also step back when. The other change is that after years of questioning, I finally separated/ split from my spouse. So much was good, but the part that was bad was a terrible Groundhog Day of lies and secrets. I found the courage to draw and keep the line. It's amicable, fuzzy, and very sad. But I'm also grateful to have walked this year into a new reality, one that isn't filled with years of repetition. I look forward to seeing how this part of my life unfolds.

My father died last October, which brought up a torrent of emotion (and still does). I am relieved that he's no longer suffering and declining into dementia, and relieved my mom doesn't have to care for him in that difficult mode any more. I miss him a great deal and I'm so sad he won't get to see our girls grow up. I'm happy it gives my mom more freedom to spend time with us and get to know her granddaughters.

I took 2 trips to nature this summer. One to Yosemite and another to Mammoth Lakes. I was moved by the power of what happens to me when I let go of the everyday hum and connect deeply with nature and myself. In particular, as the water washes over me I experience a moment of waking up and also washing away and letting go. One trip was an epic backpacking experience where I challenged myself and hiked to Clouds Rest with a good friend. The other trip was with my wife where we found a respite from the world, disconnected, and spent energy relating. I am grateful that both experieces had their challenges and moments of revealing the truth about self and in relation to others and the world. I left both experiences having met the needs of adventure, connection, mutuality, belonging, and love.

J ai fait une visie surprise à ma mère lors de la fête des Mères. Content. J'ai fait une engeulade magistrale avec mon pere devant ma mere et ma fille. J'ai terriblenent car je sais que je suis de polluer mes proches. Je me sens toxique.

I took a trip to Lollapalooza by myself which I never expected would be possible a year ago. I had a great time and wasn't worried about Covid despite the delta variant.

My Grandfather died this year. I think the affects are still being discovered. So much of my person was influenced by him, so much of who I want to be has his finger prints. I am a bit relieved, once he died I realized how much his health and eventual death had been weighing on me. Trouble with sleep, long hours of thought of how I would speak about him when he was gone, dread in having to face the pain of missing him. He and my grandmother were such a huge presence in my life, I pushed the thoughts of them away as they fell ill and died, but now that they are gone I have thought of them everyday. I am grateful for them. I miss them terribly.

The leaving of my Managing director, forced me to rethink who I am and what I am doing also preparing documents for full professor gave me a sense of accomplishment but also pointed out how bad I am at keeping records of my work.

Lost a couple friends they seemed to be not who I thought they were people come in an out of life this is tough

I had a very difficult year. A doctor, perhaps well meaning, prescribed anti-depressants. But as I read about the side effects, I "knew" I was not depressed and this was the wrong direction to go in. In fact I got really angy about being handed this prescription, in and out the door within 15 minutes. I decided I was NOT depressed, and I would have to find a way through what I was experiencing. I did! I am. It's on-going. I feel grateful though - for the kick up the backside that prescription gave me!

I am in a new job!!! It pays way more than I thought I'd ever make and I love it. I wished and wished for a new job and this one fell into my lap right at the beginning of the pandemic. I'm so grateful to have a job right now much less one that I am loving. My boss is hard but fairer than others. I forgot how starting over can really shake a girl to her core but I'm doing it. I graduated from college with a 2-year degree. I have gone thru several different pieces of training and feel very excited about my career. Something that hasn't happened in awhile.

Vaccines became available which opened a lot of things back up. I was cautious about re-entering normal life but it also made me happy. I declared June "Month of Healing" and tried to make sure that I did nourishing things that month, like nature walks, massages, yoga, and general taking care of myself.

Mum died this summer. We knew it was coming, but it still happened so quickly. It's very soon to say how it affected me, but my friends have been there for me and that's helped get me through so far. They are amazing people. I don't know what I did to deserve them but they remain the best part of my life. More than anything I'm just anxious about being there for my sister. She's also been amazing, but she's so young to be dealing with this. I don't know how she does it. I think that a loss like this, especially when you've had time to put up all the braces and walls that one can, takes years to feel fully. So ask me again, I guess.

The days leading up to and leaving Canada. I was cashing out RRSPs, quitting my career, finally converting to Judaism. People were saying I was brave at the age of 41 to give up everything to a country I had little info on and for what? Love? A part of me thought was crazy the other part felt a pull a need to do this no matter what laid out on the other side of the border. I think looking back it was a sense of renewal and freedom of my past and for that I’m grateful to the experience

I got a new job! It took some time and it was a nerve wracking process but I felt really supported along the way and now that I'm a few weeks in, I'm feeling good about where we can go. Honestly, my biggest frustration right now is my pack of patience in waiting for other people to get back to me or to get me things that I can keep working on what I need to be doing. Still in the process of figuring out how to balance everything but having a physical office to go is so helpful; having a different location to interact with people is invigorating; the support and enthusiasm I'm getting from others coming along this journey with me is really exhilarating. I'm excited to see what I can do with this.

I wrote a book! Never thought that would happen. I surprised myself but also want to keep going and do more and better. I’m relieved AND hopeful

My dog died in late July 2021. It was sudden and heartbreaking. I could barely get out of bed for the first few days before the pain started to lessen. I still see her everywhere and miss her excited barks welcoming me home and her comforting snuggles as I laid down to sleep. Now I am doing my best to not forget the good times, but am grateful that I have a good network of friends keeping me upright and feel resilient to have gotten through (not "over") this stressful situation. I do not typically subscribe to the adage that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," but this experience reminds me that there may be a kernel of truth in it.

My sister died. In less than three months from diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. I was her care giver. It's been a month since she passed; two weeks since her funeral; a week since we buried her ashes. I will never be the same.

I moved to a new way of life from an apt to an apt in a Continuing Care Retirement Community. This was my 2nd move in 7.5 years. The first in 2013 was across country from a house to an apt that required major downsizing. This second one was a mere 500 feet and also required downsizing. I learned even more deeply that I really don't need much to enjoy a wonderful life.

Im sad. About the revelations and struggles, the suffering. Im grateful. About the learning, growth, honesty, strength...truth that has been revealed. The significant experience is living in the time of a pandemic.

A significant experience this last year was moving to Allentown. I'm so grateful. It has meant more close time with friends, more relief and relaxation for all three of us, more time outdoors and involvement with the land. It hasn't been easy, and I know that my spouse often wonders if it was a good idea; but I think it really was just what we needed.

This past year was FULL of big changes. Yogi was born March 16. They were wheeling me from the OR to the recovery area says “babe, babe the bank called and they need your tax returns”. While we were in the hospital our loan came through for the house. Came home from the hospital on Saturday afternoon and there is an escrow officer at our house on Monday morning at 9 AM to sign papers for the Snow Court house. I remember we were leaving the hospital and the discharge papers were taking some time. I told Neil to leave and go get the cashiers check from his bank because our first stop with the baby was going to Bank of America. He came back to pick me up. It all worked out beautifully but those two life events were definitely overlapping. We moved to the house when Yogi was about 5 weeks old—April 24. That was a big deal because we went to the Prospect Road house the night before and packed as much as we could. The movers met us there end it was last night I spent at that house after living there for almost 38 years. It was sad to pack up and lots of memories. It was so hard because every item is a decision— keep or giveaway? But also feel good to see how many happy memories we had there. It also felt good to know that I was going to build a home for my own family— this was how things go. Punit was having a hard time and couldn’t pick up the temple. It’s been about six months as I write this so I guess I’ll go back and do it w Neil. How do I feel about y’all? Extremely, deeply grateful for Yogi. So happy with our new house. Also it feels scary. Lots of commitment and getting in deeper with each other.

I fell in love! In March I met a man who kind of set my heart on fire. I guess it was time for me to be done with grieving Ed and I was open to a whole new experience. This man has made me feel so alive and desirable. Although I am having doubts about how long this relationship will last, I will always be so very grateful to him for opening me up to love again.

I had a serious health crisis that could have resulted in serious impairment or death. I now open my eyes in the morning and am genuinely grateful I woke up. It has also set me on a path to a new, healthier lifestyle.

I had bariatric surgery and I am so so grateful to be losing so much weight and feeling pretty and getting healthier. I also moved in January and although it has been a long haul I've been making my apartment my dream home. I love decorating and yes it inspires me. I really want to be finished now, though. I want to begin focusing on my artwork. However I am soooo grateful that I have been able to afford to live in such a beautiful place and to make new girlfriends, especially Eileen. And finally, I gave up Orthodox Judaism and I'm relieved but sad and I wish I would start lighting candles again.

I worked a chaplain fellowship in palliative care/hospice. I survived and thrived, even with COVID. I grew out of some of my abusive narratives. I helped over 200 people die with dignity and worth. I learned deep gratitude for each day to live and breathe.

My divorce Affected me on so many levels I am not yet aware of the implications of this. I am grateful because I left an abusive, violent and horrific environment that was hurting me and my son. Even though I am now dealing with the legal and financial aftermath of this I am relieved. I am grateful and I know ending this relationship was what needed to happen. I am trying not to be resentful but sometimes I get really sad and even angry about all the pain and damage. I am definitely inspired to live up to my greatest potential and to become who I am meant to be and make a difference

Grateful that I learned finally that relationships matter and you alone can identify your relationship to another being and you alone not even that other person can perpetuate that relationship you define. It really is all about you. If you are an egotistical son-of-a-bitch or someone who is only partially committed that is how you will define your relationships and that's all you will ever get. If you put your whole self into relationships you will be your whole self. I am grateful for this knowledge and looking forward to earning my whole self.

I quit my job. It made me feel much happier and less stressed. Sure, I stress about money, but it doesn’t weigh up to the way I feel mentally. I still feel that the past years are still in my body, but overall I’m much more content and grateful. I feel relieved that I finally stood up for myself although I feel I still have steps to make. I also still need to shake the emotions. I get easily worked up when I think about the past years and the people at my previous job. I am learning a lot about the directions I can take, about things that I missed without knowing and it will give me guidance. I am extremely grateful at all the fun people I am getting to know: clients but also other interior architects that inspire me to become better.

I had put together a vision board with my aims, goals, dreams. It was made up of images cut up from magazines. Putting it together was enjoyable, and I then put it up beside my bed where ai could see it everyday. When I look back on it now, I see that I have achieved or taken steps towards most of the goals I had set for myself. I feel empowered and ready to continue working towards my goals. I feel happy, proud and inspired.

My mom passed away this past year. Of course that frees up time for me to do other things besides take care of her. Something about the way that she passed in my arms makes me grateful that I was able to be loving her up close. Knowing that she rests next to Dad brings me relief from the responsibility I carried for her well-being. Some minor resentment lingers toward my brothers not compensating me for some of the costs or any of my time taking care of mom. Mom's courage, perseverance, and appreciation as well as the whole experience of aging with her dementia inspire me in multiple ways.

Oh my gosh. Soooo many changes. Two most significant: Moving to Portland Aug 1st and losing Mom on Nov 28th. Best decision EVER to have moved. Was able to see Mom at least weekly and be by her side when she passed. I am grateful for the decision I made to move down - finding this adorable home in a cute pocket community with great neighbors. Being here to help Mom was a blessing. I wake happy each day here in my cute home and being back home in Portland. Lots of great other stuff this past year as well....new babies with Sara, Casey, David & Lily....joined a dragon boat team of breast cancer survivors, dating, seeing friends, surviving during Covid (healthy so far...plan to stay that way), accepted a part time position with Rosenbaum Financial as their Group Specialist (or something...don't know the title yet), making new friends and seeing old. Greatest decision ever.

My dad was put on hospice care. We were watching him deteriorate before our eyes with chronic heart failure. The first thing they did was double the dose of medication he was taking for a CHF side effect of severe edema in his legs. He began making improvements in all areas: reduced swelling, easier breathing, less tired after minimal exertion, and willing to exert himself more. He was dismissed from hospice after 90 days! I am grateful that he remains in good health. And I am relieved to not be on a sort of "death watch," assessing every symptom or change as a step closer to the end.

I moved back to NJ and got and have kept a full time job in ophthalmology as a tech. It changed my confidence, changed the poverty cycle I was in, lessened my anxiety and stress, lessened my depression and restlessness. I actually realized I like being around other people for the most part, that I am very extroverted at times. It made me feel like I belong somewhere. It feels good to have good coworkers. I also learned a little bit about myself, what I like and don’t like, what I value and don’t value. I am really good at being kind and making people feel hear and welcomed and safe. I am good with patients and people. I also joined a gym and while I am not the most consistent person, I have been exercising since around July. Exercising regularly helps my anxiety and depression so incredibly much! It’s hard because I don’t really know how to lose weight, but it makes me feel better at least, mental and physically.

So many significant experiences - moving to Manitoba in the middle of winter during a pandemic from Montreal...being isolated for 7 months - not knowing anyone. Being scared of our neighbourhood - and now, a month ago we just moved into our new home and love the neighbourhood. Made friends with our neighbours instantly. It's a different world. Our basement flooded 2 weeks ago and though it was hard, I was grateful. Grateful to have a home to take care of. Though when it happened twice more 2 days later I was more pissed than grateful. But happy to have neighbours who came to help us.

My mother’s dementia significantly worsened this past year due to the isolation of COVID. I now have to manage her care from several hundred miles away. We do not have a good relationship. I am the only one. So her behavior on bad days brings up all sorts of triggers for me. I resent having to do this and I especially have anger when she accuses me of taking her life away when she wasn’t paying her bills and asked me to get her mail sent to me. Every week it’s a different issue while I continue to work full time

My significant experience just happened a couple of weeks ago in Sedona. It was the Psychic Reading I received that brought in Mike (and Grandma). That made me feel bubbly - joyful and brought closure for me. Mike is now onto his next adventure and I know that Grandma will be receiving me with the same joy. And my other loved ones will all welcome me home...when my time comes.

I moved back to Kitchener after over 20 years in Toronto! I am meditating and connected with spirit and life is good. My parents are settling fairly well into a nice new condo in Breslau and family stuff is settling and stabilizing again after some bumpy roads. I am so grateful for how things worked out for me and my parents especially 🙏

I assisted an incarcerated person with their pro se petition for pardon. Although I am a paralegal, I provided editing and typing assistance, not legal advice. I found the experience to be very humbling, for the gentleman remained hopeful and spiritual despite his complete change and completion of a previous sentence (multi-state jurisdictions). I think this taught me the power of hope, while remaining realistic.

COVID is a pretty big one. Grateful... hmm yes/no. Yes- I was reminded of how great my husband and I are together (quarantining was easy for us), I sought/found new ways of making friends through discord, traffic was significantly less, and people actually respected personal space. No- No traveling meant I went another year of not seeing family and I miss them dearly, disagreements over vaccinations, wearing a mask makes my glasses fog up

A lot has happened in the last year. Since last Rosh Hashanah, I finished chemo, had a mastectomy, finished immunotherapy, had another surgery, bought a house, got a new position at work, got a dog, and more. I feel like my family and I are making up for lost time. Or even just trying to erase the past year and start again. I think the obvious answer to this question is any of the cancer-related stuff, but instead I'm going to focus on the house. I feel like buying a house symbolizes more than just upgrading. To be honest, the house is nicer in a lot of ways, but not really any bigger, and not exactly what we were looking for. This is very representative of my marriage and how I've been making decisions in my life lately. It just suddenly happened because I (we) felt like it should. Sometimes that's good, sometimes it's bad. In this case, the house was more of an answer to cancer and Trevor feeling like he needed to please me and make some grand gesture because we were in such a rocky place in our marriage. A couple of weeks before the search started, we were ready to get a divorce. I think we both thought that this house would basically change everything. In some ways it did. But I'm not exactly sure it is the house that did it. The cancer is gone along with most of the things that go with it (as of now, I only have 2 more surgeries and then am completely done). So that's not an issue any longer. We made a lot of money on the house, so we've been able to spend a lot and go on vacation, which we had never been able to do before. This also helped a lot. And things have somewhat calmed down. It's almost like the house is secondary. I am glad we did it. I'm just worried that the allure of the new house will not be enough. That pretty soon something else will happen and we'll be in the same boat as before. I'm trying to think positive and accept our new peace, but I'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop. It will be very interesting to read this next year and see where I am.

The most significant experience I had this year was being honored for my creative work with a financial gift from an arts foundation. This recognition has inspired me to recommit myself to my practice. This gift will give me the means to do something spectacular this year! I hope I can live up to my own expectations.

Wow, I mean, what to say. Is a significant experience that my family and I managed to avoid COVID? That my vulnerable daughter started school and didn't get sick? That we chose, over and over again, not to do things: not to gather, not to have birthday parties, not to go to restaurants, not to travel, and that we still managed to create joy and celebration and build community in a new place? It's not exactly an "experience" in the singular sense, but it feels like the narrative of the year. We made it to here, to this moment. For that, I am so deeply grateful.

I became a great-grandmother in February and while I have not yet been able to visit in person lots of shared videos and photos have been a blessing! I am elated and filled with gratitude to reach this milestone in my life.

This past year I've had the experience of working as a full time therapist in community mental health. I'm incredibly grateful for the experiences I've been having and the continually growing groundedness (in an ebb and flow kind of way) I feel in this career. I do feel some resentment towards the systemic issues that make my job difficult and put myself as well as the people I work with at risk. However, I overall feel humbled and inspired by the trust so many people I help put in me and the affirmations they give regarding their progress.

Getting vaccinated for Covid in February and March. Grateful, privileged (I got early notice of vaccine availability as a “health care provider,” and was able to share the opportunity with husband and good friends.). Relieved of a degree of worry about serious infection. Inspired by the science that made possible the quick development of the vaccine.

In 5781 I achieved something I truly wanted and needed for years- balance and a reasonable schedule for me. I am especially feeling this now as I have temporarily lost it due to my son transitioning from nanny care to early childhood school. Having the schedule that allows me to take care of responsibilities and allow time to rest, recover, and occasionally do the things I really love has been amazing. As pandemic restrictions started to lift, this way of life felt greatly threatened and I was starting to figure out ways to hold on and adapt without losing self. For the past month things have been topsy turvy and I am feeling stressed and spread thin and worse again! It is time to work back - I know now first hand what this looks and feels like. I can get there.

Graham changed schools this past month to a non-denominational school. We were nervous to make that transition, but also felt that we couldn't keep him in a school where our beliefs weren't being honored. Graham isn't a kid who loves change, so we weren't sure how this would go. Fortunately, his new school is amazing and it's been a great change in both the short and long term. I am grateful that the transition was smooth and we can better support our child religiously by not having him in a Catholic school.

It’s kind of been a dull year. Just started attending more events in the last few months but delta has made that difficult again. Thomas and Benjy’s weddings were significant to me because they sort of book ended childhood and college chapters in my life. We are all old and grown and time has flown by. These weddings made me feel reflective and a bit remorseful for an older time when life, in some ways, was less stressful and simpler. On the other hand, I’m still glad to have these close friends and to remember how I had such a different and separate life from the one I have now with wife, kids, and home ownership. Reconnecting with childhood friends in Vermont (like Stiller) had a similar effect on me and was also meaningful.

In May, my mother in law passed away. I had hardly seen her during the previous year because of Covid, though we had gotten together a few weeks prior for her birthday. Cleaning out her belongings has been very practical, but it also is an emotional thing, a tangible way to remember someone and a time of their life that is in the rear view mirror and it is sad that I didn't get to ask her about their significance. I am grateful that she is not in pain and gets to experience whatever death brings. I have to admit that I am somewhat relieved because she had been declining for so long. I am sad that she died alone at the end. I wish I could have been there for her passing. And I have been motivated, if not inspired, to address my own chaos, to let go of things that have become burdens, items waiting to be used. I do not want to leave this for my own children and it may take me a long time to get through.

I put in my notice and started working on an exit plan from SPE just a week ago. I am terrified and excited, hopeful and worried. I am so grateful to be in a place where I have the support and love of my family and freinds, and I know that they will be with me on this journey no matter where I end up.

Quitting my stressful estoring a beautiful traditional Chinese courtyard home in the Yunnan countryside. It changed my life - I'm super happy here. I discoverd I'm more introverted than I thought and relishing in the oceans of time and silence and nature I enjoy here. Life in the village came with a social life with new friends who enjoy nature, exercise and cooking great food. It's a much healthier life, away from toxic people and busy, noisy and alcholic environments. I'm never going to live in a city again or work for an asshole boss.

One of the most significant things ( aside from Enzo ) has been weathering a lot of changes at work. Reconfiguring of the business sector, having 5 different bosses. Learning a lot of new things. Working for a month while in London. But ultimately coming out happy, grateful and successful. It's interesting to look back at how I was ready to leave the company due an horribly bad boss and now I'm one of the top performers in my division.

Decided to quit my job, planned for an alternate career, got excited. Then got a potential significant raise and decided to stay. Still not sure how it will work out. Feeling frustrated, disappointed, disgruntled, and stuck.

I moved to nyc, finally. I feel grateful and inspired. I love being in this city for the simple fact that it gives me more room to sort out my stuff. You can really get lost here. I love that. I'm resentful I didn't do it sooner.

My friendships have changed. I've found my relationships with some friends deepening as we found our way through the pandemic together. We've had meals together, performed over zoom together and had long telephone convos. And one or two have lapsed into a civil distance, mainly because of politics and differences of values.

I lost my dream job. I was upset at the time, but from how the company behaved during the process, I think I am relieved. They drug out the process over 6 months, and then made it seem like I was being let go because I was a poor performer and tried to prevent me from receiving unemployment. I was not- I did a poor job at interviewing for other roles in the company, which I was required to do when it was announced my department would be closed. I was a high performer in my role at the time, backed up by my former supervisors when I had to appeal for UI. In retrospect, I'm grateful not to be working for a company that shady.

Quitting UWMC to go to software engineering boot camp. It was scary, and there were times I wasn't sure I would make it. But, my first job showed me that it's possible to work in a team where I'm supported and not scared all the time. And my second job (starting soon) is almost 3x what I was making before. I feel brave, capable and excited about my future in a way I never have before.

The significant experience would be the relationships I’ve been in. In the moment it has made me really sad but I know what I deserve and what I want. I feel grateful now, grateful for the experiences I’ve had. Sometimes I have to get hurt to know what I need in my future.

I left a job this year, not that it was significant to leave but more that doing so changed my life significantly. I had a mentally ill employee that was threatening me and while my company did respond they didn't take it seriously. (His Pinterest account full of guns and tactical gear finally got them moving.) I hadn't realized how stressful this experience had been for me until after I left and I'm still processing through the experience. The largest part of me is relieved to be in a great environment and grateful for this new opportunity.

I finally--finally--left Texas and academia all together. I feel a lot: resentful, grateful, LIGHTWEIGHT, sad, thrilled, confused, eager. I was able to start a new job during this time, beginning a career journey right before the high holidays with a rad group of Jews who take their artistry and their Judaism really seriously. It is moving me into the middle class!!!!!! I feel overwhelmed, but so so full of gratitude

I got vaccinated against COVID-19. It was an extreme relief, allowing me to know that I will be here for my children. I still have a lot of fear for my children, both of whom are still ineligible for the vaccine. My five year old is immunocompromised and I am so angry and resentful that the US has done nothing to protect her.

We were evacuated due to a wild fire near our home right before Rosh Hashanah this year. It was an eye opening experience to realize how few items we wanted to take with us. All we wanted to take were electronics, some basic clothing and toiletries for a few days, and our favorite works of art. We were willing to let everything else go, and it was powerful and freeing to see that we really weren't tied to our "stuff".

I completed and passed all my year 1 University modules and am set to begin year 2 ones next month. It was really different because of covid. All lectures were online, and I didn't get to do one lab practical. I'm relieved that I have passed all my modules, but I am sad that I didn't get to have any lab time. I'm hopeful I will get some hand on lab time this coming year.

I was diagnosed with sleep apnoea and given a CPAP machine, and the difference to my health and energy levels has been significant. I have my life back.

My rotator cuff surgery was last August, and it was a very challenging experience. It took me months to be able to sleep through the night , and the rehab was difficult. However, I was very determined to recover so I could play sports again and make the long throw from 3rd to 1st and swing the bat again.... I proved to myself that I could come back and I am playing without any major issues with my shoulder. I feel like I can come back from almost anything.

I got married! Mac and I eloped in November with our immediate families. We went to Spaghetti Factory for dinner and had the ceremony at my parents' house. We also had a reception in early August for friends and extended family. I am very grateful to be married to my best friend. It's fulfilling having such an intimate relationship, and I'm in awe of how beautiful he is and how much I love being around him. I'm excited to share my life with him.

Life this year has been very circumscribed as well as dominated by the pandemic. The most significant experience is learning to teach online. While I recognize how fortunate I have been been employed all year in a job that did not put me at risk for the virus, it was just a hard year. I’m grateful that everyone in my life is healthy. I feel resentful towards some of the students who made it harder than it had to be. But mostly just weary. I had such hopes for being back to some semblance or normality this fall, but the delta variant and the craziness around vaccines and masks has put that far in the future. I don’t see how this ends.

I am grateful that the orange one was not re-elected. I am profoundly unnerved by the republicans' power grab in so many states including Texas where I live. The just passed anti-choice law; the voting restrictions law; the lack of any accountability for all the lives lost during our freeze in February. Its very hard to exist in such a climate of supreme ignorance and indifference. So rather than a single event, it is the constant wearing down of rights here. I hate Texas. I'm working very hard to escape as soon as I can. Fuck Greg Abbott. Fuck Ken Paxton. Fuck Ted Cruz.

I had my beautiful baby. I've said and written it a million times already... she is such a blessing. I feel so in love, in awe, happy, fulfilled, lucky. Her smile fills me with joy and thoughts of her getting hurt me with dread. In my dreams she is mangled, scraped, cut etc. Too awful to imagine! I try to fight back by thinking of beautiful moments in our future - her first step, going to kindergarten, her bat mitzvah and wedding. I can't remember a time I was this happy and content. Life is good.

Probably the biggest thing was my longtime employer being acquired. The goal to which I'd been working for the past 7 years but never let myself believe was possible finally happened. I'm grateful, for sure, but it also brought a kind of responsibility, one not wholly comfortable. I plan to give a bunch of the money away which feels good though may not be as easy as I thought. But the uncomfortable feeling is that for years I've been telling myself that I can't afford to take a break, slow down, and care for myself. Now, I can afford to, but the cost is high: thousands a month in lost income and health insurance premiums if I leave my job. Now's my chance, and I fear I'll regret not trying it. But I also fear I'll regret it if I do take a break and it doesn't end up helping. Though I'm sure I'll always be able to find a job afterward if so. I think I just need a plan for what I want to get out of a break and how I plan to get it.

We won a battle to save America from full on fascism by winning the 2020 election. It was elation eventually followed by the sobering reality that while it was a critical battle, the war is very much in full motion. But when it happened it was incredible, tear inducing joy and relief. It felt extra good to be a part of it not only as a voter but our family’s contribution with Jamie working polling sites, making democracy work in New York.

I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in January and underwent a total thyroidectomy in April, followed by radioactive iodine ablation in July. The feelings surrounding the whole process are as difficult to pinpoint and as ever-shifting as the individual tesserae of a kaleidoscope. Fear, anger, resentment, hope, self-pity, determination, curiosity, compassion, appreciation, gratitude...I think at this point, I've landed on gratitude. The initial diagnosis was incidental - though, I believe, not accidental - because nodules were spotted on my thyroid just at the edge of a chest CT scan. That chest scan was supposed to be the last in a series over 5 years, following up on a previous random cancer diagnosis that resulted in a partial lung lobectomy. So I have twice now been diagnosed with completely unrelated cancers that were asymptomatic, highly treatable at the stage in which they were caught, and it is the considered opinion of every treatment provider that I am "lucky". If anyone tells you that you have "the good kind of cancer", take that with a grain of salt, though, because you're still looking at painful surgery, long recuperation, and the ongoing fear that the unseen enemy yet lurks within. What I have been spared, by having "good" cancers, is the debilitation of chemotherapy and radiation, the potential disfigurement, and the exhaustion - mental, physical, and financial - of resources. Just the glimpses of other patients, the mutual compassion as our eyes meet across the waiting rooms, the tenderness - and occasionally indifference - of medical technicians, the knowledge born of much late-night googling, have made me aware of how much worse off I could be. I *am* lucky, or blessed, and I am very grateful. I do believe that "grief sustained and sickness observed" is meant to prepare me - and I hope I can meet the next challenge with grace and courage.

I've always felt a bit unentitled to my Scandinavian heritage... my language skills aren't up to scratch, I haven't spent enough time there etc etc. I'm leaning into that heritage now in my outlook and such and it's, well, nice and familiar. I've discovered identity is what you alone make of it, not what others might think or dictate to you.

The birth of our latest grandchild Eli. We were not allowed at his Brit because of Covid and the restrictions of going from State to State. It was initially very difficult to see his other grandparents being at the ceremony while we watched it from home. However, G-d's grace helped me to be able to put that aside, be thankful that he was surrounded by love and I was able to participate in my own way. All our friends who participated with us from Providence were delivered a bag with bagels, cream cheese, whitefish salad and desserts for the festive meal after the Brit. We had family and friends participating from Florida, PA, NY etc and it did feel like a simcha. We have been lucky that as he became a little older and we were vaccinated we were able to see him and become a part of his life. We now get to see those grandkids every other week or so and we are truly grateful.

I got to have our wedding! I'm grateful we had it in the brief moment COVID was under control, relieved to finally close the chapter, resentful of the aunt who came to the wedding aware she was sick with what turned out to be COVID, and happy to be starting this new chapter.

Cere was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was termed as Stage 1, her surgeon said it was precancerous, both of which are good diagnoses. She had one surgery to remove the lump and is scheduled for her second in a couple weeks, more as a precautionary measure. I am shocked every time I think of my sister having cancer. Just doesn't resonate with me. We have talked a lot, she has a great attitude. Hoping this second surgery takes care of the situation.

R left me. I thought we were the happiest we'd been in years. Then it (at least to me) seemed he slid into a depression, blamed me for everything he didn't like in his life, refused couples counselling, and walked out. Said he wasn't attracted any more, said he thought he'd be better off without me. After 8 years of telling me I was the light of his life, that we would grow old together and keep a beautiful garden. Just after I started the job I had always wanted. Just before I got evicted by my landlord, who was selling the property we rented. On 20 February he broke up with me and I haven't seen him since. How did effect me? It ripped my heart out of my body. I wanted to die for weeks. I didn't want to live in a world where someone I trusted so much, who made so many promises, could walk out on me like that. I had to take extended mental health leave from my new work, which wasn't very supportive. And then I had to accept that I couldn't do that job while I was in such a bad mental place, and go back to an easier position. I had wanted to do that work for 10 years so that was a heartbreak all of its own. I have grieved so hard. I have grieved the loss of the most important relationship I have had as an adult, the loss of the person that I have loved most. I have grieved the loss of all the dreams I had for our future. I grieved the loss of his family, my second parents as I used to call them. I have grieved the financial security and practical support I was used to. I grieved the loss of my innocent and pure trust in a man who I thought would never abandon me. A little more than 6 months in and now I am weirdly grateful. I look back and see all the red flags I ignored because I saw him through the eyes of love. I'm happy that I don't have to sacrifice my dreams anymore to stop him from leaving me. I'm happy that my career no longer comes second to his and that I can do things like choose what city I want to live in. I'm happy that I'm free to find a partner who can take responsibility for their mental health issues. That I don't have to shoulder the lion's share of the emotional and logistical work of a relationship. That I don't have to keep banging on the door of someone who chronically withholds emotional and sexual intimacy. There are so many ways I didn't realise I was holding myself back in that relationship. I'm happy that I can do basic things like buy an indoor plant or a pink cushion without feeling uncomfortable. Or big things like make a financial plan or think about the values that I want to embody in my life. It was ugly at first, ugly for months, ugly in a full blown mental health crisis kind of way. But in the end, I grew a lot after he dumped me. And honestly I like me a lot more now than I did when I was with him. I'm not sure if I am happier, but I do feel a lot more alive and more free. I also feel a lot more like myself than I did before. And isn't that so essential, to be ourselves while we have this brief time on earth, to bring the inside out and add it to the vast sum of human possibility and experience?

The coronavirus pandemic of course, and the 2020 presidential election. Grateful and relieved that We all got a vaccine and that the disgusting orange man was not elected. Grateful that no one in my family or friends was ill or died. Working at home has been tedious and stressful but grateful for job, flexibility to work at home and shelter. Grateful for being able to walk outside on most days because of that flexibility; it has improved my health.

I was finally offered a new job. After almost 3 years of looking and sending in resumes, out of the blue I was contacted and offered a chance to interview. I'm very happy about this, with a little bit of concern for going to a completely new position, but still happy.

I got vaccinated - and I was grateful, relieved, resentful and scared. Grateful that I had some protection, and the acute fear that I had lived with for almost a year could start to fade. Relieved that we were all still alive. Resentful of all the people who refused to get vaccinated and kept us all at risk, and scared that the world I had known for so long, where I had freedom and endless possibilities, would never exist again.

I hiked through the Great Smoky Mountains. We did 30 miles of the period of four days. Pretty awesome - wish it would’ve been longer. What I know is slow and low is the tempo that wins and keep on trudging through until you get to finish line.

This year, the 2nd year of the COVID pandemic, despite Biden's "win," I discovered that all of my misanthropic tendencies were completely justified. There seems to be no limit to how selfish, ignorant, stupid, moronic, greedy, short-sighted, cowardly, criminally dangerous and mean most people are. I am now sadly resigned to the incontrovertible fact that humans are a failed experiment.

My friend Rose passed away by suicide and I decided it was time to learn how to be happy and live in her memory and honor. I started piano lessons and took a serious step in my career. I honor her every day by living.

My son Eli was hit by a car. He suffered a broken hip, shoulder and wrist. I was profoundly affected by this random act. Our life changed in an instant. Many, many hours spent helping him and his family in any way I could -- laundry, PT, kitchen chores, childcare, cleanup, lugging wheelchair up and down stairs. I am more aware than ever that life hangs by a thread. By the grace of God, he is now recovering well and is walking again. I am also profoundly affected by friends and family who showered me with love and support during his recovery, and also showered him with support and kindness.

I went to Turks and Caicos. I flew internationally by myself and met friends from high school there. It was so much fun and I'm really proud of myself for fulfilling one of the promises I made to myself when I got divorced. I went scuba diving, did a SUP tour, relaxed, ate, drank, and spent a ton of time on the beach. It was beautiful and I made a bunch of new friends too.

My ex-husband, the father of my children died. I thought I was all resolved with my feelings towards him but because he did not have a will and so forth, it created more work for my children and therefore me so...got a bit resentful briefly. I am glad that I could help my children through this process. Also, my former foster sister's husband committed suicide. She came to visit for a week (stayed in a hotel due to COVID and we only outside visited). I hope that I was able to adequately hold space for her. It reinforced my feeling that, among other things, I am an unofficial death doula. Another significant event - After 1.5 years of not seeing my parents in person due to COVID, I finally went for a two-week visit. (Due to my own health issues, I have been pretty much isolating). I am grateful to have had the time with them and a bit sad to see how much they have aged. I am inspired to go visit every other month for a couple of weeks because Zoom is nice but...

Perhaps oddly, the experience that most comes to mind is my colleague leaving, because it marks the first step in a big change in my work life. I've spent way too much time thinking about stepping down, and I'd been counting on him to step up. So the transition is now less clear, but there was also that moment when I thought it might come much earlier than anticipated, and I realized that I wasn't quite ready. I still want this, but I realize both that I don't respond well to quick, unexpected changes and that I need to face the full range of changes that leaving this position will bring.

I would say vaccination. We are by no means out of the woods now - many people aren't vaccinated, many are too young to be vaccinated, and those who are vaccinated are still getting sick. But it has allowed me to come out of my cocoon, to see people, to take trips to my parents and VT and the Berkshires, for my tween who spent the year in remote schooling to be at camp and socialize with other kids, and has allowed me to sort of wake up again.

I rode my bike for 4 days and had a horrible time. It was hot, windy, and hot. It was not fun. But was it an adventure? I guess so. I did not handle the heat or nutrition well. I could have gotten ice and more food at stops. I did not know how long my rides were-I had my days messed up! I am grateful for the experience because not all adventures are Type 1 fun. This was Type II fun. If fun at all.

On January 6 of this year, Donald Trump tried to override the results of the election. Tried to stay in office by fueling an angry mob who stormed the Capitol and held Congress hostage. I'm deeply affected by my loss of faith in humanity that people can see clearly. I don't know how to get over the fact that we allowed that to happen and especially that eight months later, we still haven't put Trump in prison for it. That people still serve him. That our democracy is still in threat of being completely toppled by him. I'm sorely disappointed. It makes me feel like it's hopeless to try to reason with people. Our nation is a mess, and it's getting worse. I'm actually furious. And at the media, who know how much damage they're causing and are still not willing to change course and focus on facts and truth. Instead they just want to keep inciting us to division, distrust, fury.

The January 6th insurrection. It brought into sharp focus to me the likely dissolution of democracy in the United States. The Republican party has become an insurrectionist cabal bent on reversing years of progress to our society. Progressive society cannot survive this assault because the rule of law doesn't recognize equity and is overseen by the same people who want to manipulate it.

To experience many new days, although Corona has been close. To experience sunset and sunrise even if the world seems to stop.

I guess my significant experience has got to be covid which is on going. It's affected my family, my confidence. I don't feel like me very much.

One significant experience… Starting this coffee shop with Tanner. I guess I’m grateful, and also resentful, and also sad and also eager to move on. I had no idea I could do anything like this and yet we have managed to keep a cafe afloat without having any experience of doing so prior. It’s pretty cool to think about taking on something like this. Yes it’s been frustrating and exhausting, and it’s also been challenging and rewarding. It has at times made me feel like I’m losing my mind. Like I’m going crazy, falling short, not doing or being enough. It has made me feel ungrateful because this isn’t making me happy but would make a lot of other people happy. It’s forced me to work with someone who is difficult in that they are similar to me and try to take on the world without asking for help. I’ve learned a lot about myself and a lot about this other person and a lot about the importance of open and honest communication. I’ve learned what it takes to run a business and I’ve learned I don’t have it for this coffee shop. Perhaps if I was passionate about coffee and food service, I would be all hands on deck. But I’m passionate about deep conversations with others and exploring various parts of the world. And this has again forced me to look at my actions and stop hiding in the shadows of others. So I am grateful. It has provided me with experience I couldn’t have had otherwise and deeper insights into who I am and what my purpose is and is not on this earth.

Covid 19. My life has stopped. I haven't been able to find employment. My course has been dramatically delayed. I've been isolated. My anxiety has increased

My significant experience is meeting Laura and experiencing romance and partnership for the first time. It made me feel relieved that I wasn't going to be forever alone. It changed my life a lot and made me approach the world from a different place, feeling loved and desired and wanted. There has also been lots of highs and lows, as I experience what it means to be in a relationship for the first time.

01. Rick and Lori split up and I let him move back in with me. This was the worst thing that has happened this whole past year. I first let him come stay here 2 weeks during the bad ice storm in February because he was once again homeless. Then for some reason, against my better judgment, I let him move in and register here. I was trying to keep him out of jail but I knew better than to do it. We tried AGAIN to have a relationship. It was pretty good for a couple of months and then started going down hill, as usual and it is horrible now. I had grown so weary of being alone and lonely that I just gave in. I probably won't take the time to go into detail here, but suffice it to say, his bullying, and his trying to control me, and his drug use, has gotten worse and worse. He was doing things around here for awhile to help but he has stopped that. He is very secretive with his phone, he has stayed 2 different nights away from home, which hurt me badly and I have absolutely no trust for him and he won't look for a job. It has got to where I get fighting mad at him about something, every day, and when I get mad, I get LOUD. I am at the point AGAIN that I want him away from here and out of my life. I know that eventually I will probably have to have him evicted, because he will not leave on his own. Yet at the same time I care about him and wish things were different between us. It has been just a few weeks short of 25 years since we met and married and 16 years since I divorced him. Because I had already had 4 failed marriages, I chose to not date or remarry when Rick and I split up. Rick has had two serious live-in relationships and two marriages since we first split up, yet we always drift back toward each other. For him, I believe it is not because he is in love with me, but because he is so hard to live with, and he don't want to work, and because, basically he has no where else, around here especially, to live. He was living on the streets this time, back in February, when i let him come back this time. I really did not want him to move in and him register here, and knew it would once again not work out, and that I would not be able to get him to leave if we couldn't get along, but I rushed head on, against my own best judgement. Now, however, since we went on vacation, and he went and visited family in NM, and he loved it up there, he has a place he is planning to go. Even though we just can't seem to get along with each other, and have so many differences in out thoughts, beliefs, and wants, it saddens me that he will be so far away and probably out of my life forever. It will probably be really good for him to be in a different environment, beautiful country, and be around his nieces and nephews. For me on the other hand, it will be more peaceful as far as having no arguing but it will be extremely lonely. But his treatment if me, especially emotionslly gas been getting worse every day. He us a bully and wants to have control of me and everything in my home. He is emitionally abysive and will not let me sleep. He either does something to keep me awake or he wakes me up whether it be a nap or at night at bed time. I know I gave repeated myself but it just gets almost unbearable at times. 02. I finally got to go see my son I finally got to go visit my son after not seeing him for 7 years. He has been out of prison for 3 years but has chosen not to make the effort to visit me. It was good to see him and Angie and Kevin. I did not get to spend much time with Wayne because he worked til late every day and when he was home he barely came out of his bedroom. Kevin stayed in his room most of the time too so I didn’t get to spend much time with him either. Angie was really good to me while I was there. She made the trip to Caronann’s in Childress, TX to pick me up and took me back after 6 days. Kevin let her use his truck to do it. There was a really bright spot while I was there; William’s little 9 year old girl asked Angie if she could call me Mamaw like Kevin and Cody do. When Angie asked me, of course I said yes. We have video chatted a few times since I have been back home. 03. I had the Covid-19 Virus The 27th of December I tested positive for Covid. I had gone months using a mask and sometimes gloves when I only occasionally went to town. I did after 8 months have company over on Christmas Eve plus Gene was here visiting. He said he had not been tested but he had been sick aroung Thanksgiving and figured it was Covid. I actually believe I got the Covid from him. I was told when I tested positive to start taking Vitamin C, Zinc, D3, and a Z-Pack, which I did. Although I was in the bed for 2 weeks, and not completely well for over a month, thankfully I had only a mild casd. I lost my sense of smell and taste but I ran only a low grade temperature except for a couple of days, and I did not have much coughing and no shortness of breath. I did have a lot of hip, side, back, and leg pain and I had no appetite, but all in all, it was a very mild case. It was quite humbling, especially with the underlying conditions I have, to have had quite a mild case while during the same time, hundreds and hundreds of people were being hospitalized and losing their lives to the virus. I am so thankful. Carolann and Andy stayed and took care of me for 3 weeks...I don’t know what I would have done without them. Things are now a mess with the Delta Varient of Covid spreading like wildfire. Biden is trying to force everyone to take the vaccine including the ones of us who have natural emmunity. That is even after some who have taken the vaccine have again gotten the Covid. There is much disagreement and arguing going on about it now in the media and in politics. I feel content and safe in my decision to not take the vaccine.

I found out about tsw and feel upset by the way medical practitioners are taught. I also feel like more could be done with my health and I am a bit lost. I feel sad for those with severe tsw and what they have to go through. I also feel sad that my sister and mum think I'm silly for believing in tsw.

Mom had a fracture and pemphigus Grateful she didn’t need surgery and she only has it once. Relieved she never needed to go to the hospital or require surgery. So grateful she regained he health Buying a house. So grateful it worked out. Relieved we could buy asher a home. No resentment Election. Relieved. Being with my family doing a FaceTime birthday for asher because of covid. School experience of sending him prior to everyone being vaccinated.

I am on the Moving Forward Council of Beth Israel Judea and B'nai Emunah as we merge. I co-chair the Name Action Team with Talya B. and I am on the Preserving Our History Action Team. It is a lot of work. I am grateful for it and excited to be part of the planning for our new community.

I bought my very own home. I am inspired by having my own space. I love it very very much.

I was informed via fb messenger that my father had gone into cardiac arrest and needed surgery.it was unclear if he would survive. It affected tremendously, because even though he’s 81, he’s never had major health issues. I dropped everything and went to see him, preparing and packing for a funeral. I am resentful, he’s never taken any steps to improve himself and this was another instance where he expects me to make decisions for him and take charge. I am angry and bitter. Just writing about it makes me angry again.

Again, sex. I had a threesome, then I met Zh., got many of my sexual needs met and reassessed my own sexuality and libido.

I started and quit graduate school. I have extremely mixed feelings about it. Full-time teaching during a pandemic was more than I could handle, and I realized the the financial strain of being unemployed (or partially employed) for two years would put too much of a strain on my beloved family. So I’m disappointed, because I would be a great school psychologist, but I’m also relieved, because I’m a fucking great teacher. I will continue graduate school in a different way.

I would say, it's a tie between getting my current internship and unfortunately getting covid. Both made me reevaluate what I consider to be important, I feel that the internship thus far has shown me that I'm capable of doing more and deserve to be treated with kindness and that my ideas and feelings about my work do matter. Covid taught me that In a crisis I care more about others than I do about myself, and that I could survive with less. I am greatful for both (though given the chance I'd rather have not caught covid, even though my symptoms were mild) I feel more confident going towards my career goals because of my internship and I feel more humble for what I have because of covid.

This year will be forever burned into my brain. My husband died this year. On July 10th 2021. It was completely unexpected. I'm still waiting for the autopsy report back, but I've been told it was most likely a sudden, massive heart attack. I found him in the bathtub. I went in to ask him a question and he was just fine. About 40 minutes later I went in to ask him to get out so we could video call mom. He was already gone. When the paramedics got there they said he had probably died within minutes of the last time I talked to him. To say I am heartbroken and devastated is the understatement of the universe. In 4 days it will be 2 months. We had a funeral at our home church that week. My mom and Christie got red eye flights out that night to come be with me. I thank God they got to me so quickly. I couldn't have faced everything I had to do without them. I'm grateful we had hard conversations and talked about the future. He had told me that if anything ever happened to him that I was to sell the house and move back to CA with my mom and sisters. He knew I would need their support. Now I'm living with my mom in my sisters' old bedroom. This is so much harder than anything I have ever been through. I am so lonely. I miss everything about him. I'm grateful for the relationship and love we shared, that he was willing to work hard on our relationship and marriage from the start. Because of him I know what true, self sacrificial love is. He showed me every single day. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. But I can't imagine looking for or being with anybody else. God granted my teenage prayer to not date someone unless they were the person for me to marry. Now I find myself praying that same prayer again. I don't want to go on dates and have to go through relationships that don't work out. Even moreso now than when I was a teenager. I'm trusting God to heal my heart, and when the time is right, to bring along someone that would be a good partner for me. In the meantime I will focus on healing, putting some kind of a life together all by myself, and my relationship with God. I know I'm not alone. I have my family and friends. But in so many ways I am alone. No one can be there for me like Bill was. No one should be. He was my HUSBAND. That's a sacred and unique relationship. The kind that meets needs that can't be met in any other human relationship. I grew up understanding and accepting God as my good and loving Father. Now I am learning how He takes care of the widow. I hate that I am here. I hate that I am a widow. The word tastes sour in my mouth. But I am. I always will be. Even if I move on some day, I will always be Bill's widow. I'm just grateful to know that he is in Heaven, and someday I will see him again.

I don't want it to be, but upending my whole life to get through sheltering in place was the most significant event of last year. I wish it was over, but it's still going on. I'm angry and frustrated that the world we're working for is not coming and still seems so out of reach.

I bought a house! After a 3 year divorce process I was finally able to buy a house. I am in the process of rehabbing it and making it my own. I love it and the freedom that comes along with it. I am grateful to have the funds and wherwithall to take this step. I'm relieved the divorce is final in that my finances are 100% my own. I feel independent and secure.

I'm now scheduled to have heart surgery on September 20th. I'd known for a very long time that it would be happening, but when it was a reality, it really did take me by surprise.

Mom's Alzheimer's has gotten significantly worse over the past 6 months. Makes me sad and worried about Dad. Watching him age coordinating her care, taking over fixing meals, everything about the household. I'm helping some, hovering. Resolved to be there , to be the resource Dad needs. Resolved to be patient with Mom, she can't help it. Gone is the svelte, put together, organized, accomplished social worker and socialite. Just a shuffling, lost, confused, crumpled track suit, with harshly drawn eyebrows and slept in looking hair, who repeats the same statement or question a dozen times in 2 hours.

Still in the middle of the past year, it’s so hard to not just say “covid.” We’re still in the middle of covid. It’s still the most significant event of the past year, but there is also the capital storming, the vaccine, the end of the war in Afghanistan. Personally, I officially got to stay in New York. There were 2 hurricanes in New York. My son turned 7. I’m anxious for the future. It feels cloudier than ever and every moment to be happy can be overshadowed if you let it. I wake up at night and check on Julien. My heart feels anxious and full. It feels more whole than ever if I let it.

When I was young, an eye doctor speculated that one day I may be blind. As I've aged, my current ophthalmologist has assured me that is not true. But, when she presented me with an opportunity to have "Refractive Lens Replacement" and explained that this would forever correct my vision, I jumped at the opportunity. In February 2021, I underwent two eye surgeries. I no longer where glasses or any other sort of corrective lenses. I do occasionally need a 0.5 reader, but not too often. There are some struggles at certain distances that I am still trying to adapt to, and my night vision isn't stellar. But I feel that these small trade-offs are worth it. No glasses fogging after coming in from the cold outdoors. No steamy glasses while running. No uncomfortable face squishing while I'm trying to read in bed. There are so many other advantages. The procedure was quite expensive (a bit over $9k) and I'm still somewhat shocked and surprised that I did it, given that I am generally far too cheap to do something like that. I do think a lot of it relates to covid, being stuck at home, making decisions that are maybe a bit more rash than is my norm. It's probably not entirely logical to connect the two, but I do.

I moved in with my boyfriend, which is a sentence I never would have seen coming for a long portion of my life. I was always worried I was incapable of love and it took me a while to find myself in terms of being one of the bis, so the fact that I have found such wonderful joy in Eli is remarkable in a multitude of ways. I'm inspired to keep it going, and I am excited to join aspects of the life we are currently living in rural central PA to city living wherever we end up when I finish my grad program.

Getting to know my autistic brain has been great. I feel like I'm finally getting to know the person I've always known I was, but wasn't able to be because I didn't know this fundamental part of how I worked.

I've had two prayers answered this year that I know were directly from G-d and I am so grateful.

I was diagnosed with lung cancer. It was frightening and humbling. I could not change it. The tumor was here and I had to go through a lobectomy with several complications during the pandemic of Covid 19. It was the most in humane brutality I had ever been through. I learned to stay focused on my breath to go through the pain. Trust in God and receive my loved ones prayers who supported me and gave me the strength and faith to finish the marathon. I am grateful for prayer, for faith, for family, and for friends that were my bulwark of strength. I am grateful for my husband who cared for me changed my drains and the dressing at least 5-10 times a day. I am grateful I have a lion heart, that I was brave and full of faith in my God. I was willing to accept the outcome. Songs blessed my life during this time. Music was all I wanted to hear and primordial sounds. I knew I was strong but I had no idea I could go through this and still be alive and I also know I could not of made it without prayer from all who loved me. Love is powerful.

I quit my job. For the first time I do not need a job and am a little lost. I am, however, inspired to look for my path as it is revealed

I finally bought a dental practice on 5/11/2021. Becoming a dental practice owner has been simultaneously the most stressful and most rewarding part of my career so far. It has strengthened and tested Corey’s and my relationship. It has helped me grow and become more patient and resilient, and more self-confident. It has also been an incredibly challenging beginning, starting with my first day seeing patients while the seller was away on vacation: my temporary dental assistant for the day walked out in the middle of the day and did not return because she was “overheated and overwhelmed”, and then my 80 year old receptionist had a heart attack. Literally. Between that and not having a dental assistant since the night before settlement was scheduled, and then having a tornado hit the office while I was away on my first vacation since buying… jeez. What an origin story. I can’t wait to see where I’m at with this practice in a year. Hopefully I’ll be taking home a salary by then. Fingers crossed.

I retired from the place I had worked for 20 years. The relief in my body and mind is Invaluable and incalculable. I am grateful that I was able to serve Society for so long. I also know the tool that it took on my mind body soul and family. Doing that kind of work in child welfare, it’s something that I would never recommend to anyone else. The system is so horribly punitive to those who want to help others. I hope that one day this will change.

Putting out the book. I felt so on top of the world around that time. And simultaneously stressed and bummed because I had never put out a book and the pandemic was happening which threw everything for a loop for everyone. I was super grateful for Ted and the Saras and Ben and everyone who helped make it happen. And I just felt SO good - I was on cloud 9. I still am bummed that it came out during the pandemic, though.

Joe Biden was elected president and the democrats got the senate and retained the house. At first, it made me relieved. But, they have not done all that they could. They did pass the child tax credit and lifted millions of children out of poverty. And, Biden left Afghanistan...which we should have done years ago. But so far, no protection of voter rights, lack of protection for women's rights, no infrastructure bill etc. etc. etc.

My son was born. It was all the things in the question, relief, gratefulness, resentful, inspired, exhausted, all of those things. I can't imagine telling people the story in person one day. A baby born in our circumstances (away from family in China during a pandemic with almost no local support other than the doctors). Super significant. I miss that time even though it was super hard. Our baby is wonderful and I miss holding him all day.

I graduated with my doctorate this past year. It was a goal that I have had since I was 18 years old, now 14 years later I finally accomplished it... and it is a wonderful feeling. I'm grateful that my family has supported me, through the positives and negatives of this journey. I learned so much, about the material and myself. Coming out during a pandemic has not been an easy feat though, I find myself anxious about the future and attempting to find work with such a specialized degree. However, something that my mother recently said to me has just struck home and is what I must focus on in the days/weeks/months/years ahead: no one can take this accomplishment away from me... I will always be a doctor now.

So many things have happened in the last year… most of all I’ve started to learn how to stand up for myself and what I need. I moved houses to get out of a toxic situation, and even though the anxiety still gets to me some days, I feel better about life in general. I’m grateful that I could afford to leave when I did, and it’s inspired me to be thankful for the things I have in my life.

I got a fucking job. It was such a long and hard process. So much rejection. So hard to keep my confidence. And eventually it worked out. I'm ultimately grateful. For all of it. I believe I'm in the place I'm supposed to be.

Just before Thanksgiving, I came out to my immediate family about being transgender. I wasn't able to get the nerve to tell my parents face-to-face or over the phone; I ended up finally sending them an email. Being out to my family, being able to be honest with them about who I am and open about the experience of transition has been such a relief and a joy. Right now Mom's helping me get an outfit together for my cousin's wedding; it's so nice to have her help with picking out a dress, shoes, etc.

I met my first new male friend after being divorced. Gave me another reason to smile and feel happier than I was. I respect his life experiences and I love his passions. I only wish I could bring myself to ask him what he wants from life and from our friendship, our relationship. Not sure if this will last, but we are enjoying one another. Right now that is ultra valuable.

G-Mom died. A few days after she died, my parents' dog, Brunello, got hit by a car and died. I'm still incredibly sad thinking about both, and the sorrow I felt so heavily that weekend. It was painful grief, sinking grief. It made me realize how fortunate I am to have the family I do, and the bonds we've created over the years. And it is a reminder, always, to be kind, to empathize.

I’ve always known that my health was important and felt as though I did “enough” to take care of my health. When my father revived his prostrate cancer diagnosis a couple months ago and we went through all the different scenarios of treatments, prognosis, etc, I really took to evaluating HOW I’m addressing my health and if my “enough” wasn’t truly “enough.” I made changes and started making appts, establishing new doctor relationships, and I also took a look at my kids and realized where I was unintentionally failing them in their health. While this new drive and motivation to refocus on such an important aspect of our lives is still in progress, I’m making great strides and feel great about it. I try not to let my guilt and failure of not doing “enough” for health get in the way although it’s a challenge. Despite my dad’s cancer scare (he’s in remission!), I’m grateful for this eye opening experience for a healthier future for me and my kids.

I learned how to practice active listening in my life. It changed everything for me. I now feel a pull to be with people, to read their energy, to connect with them. And it energizes rather than drains me.

I attempted suicide for the 1st time in my life. I went back to someone I thought I could trust again, someone I thought could change. It was a mistake giving him that one last opportunity because he ended up severely hurting me (again). I will never forget the traumatic experience of taking a drug overdose (I will never look at Nyquil the same way ever again), being lectured and shamed by a nurse for why I did it while surviving in the ER and not being to stand up for myself because I was that drugged, going through that trauma of having a needle in my arm for hours only to have blood dripping out of me, being 5150’d, and ending up at the psychiatric ward. I completely regret everything but at the same time I learned a lot about myself, and how other people truly are. The ONLY positive thing that came out of this entire experience was telling my mom what happened. She showed the most compassion towards me, no judgement. This even has made me realize that I’m grateful that I still have my mom with me. She literally has become my best friend and my savior. I've learned to never, EVER put myself in that situation again for as long as I live. This entire experience has confirmed that I have severe Borderline Personality Disorder, but I need to learn how to deal with it and not let it dominate my life. I rented a car for a day at the end of April (the reservation actually took 3 weeks before and I just didn’t want to cancel the reservation even after my discharge). It was great, until I ended up in a small car crash when I was driving back to return the car. This experience made me realize that perhaps I’m not meant to drive. But the car owner showed me great compassion. I ended up developing feelings for him but knew that I couldn’t pursue anything with him. I really needed that as I tried to take my life 5 days earlier…. Met someone in person that I shouldn’t have after my suicide attempt. I visited him in Palm Springs only to be raped anally by him at the end. He also ended up being very abusive towards me. He not left me with emotional damages and scars, but because of how severely he hurt me, I now have a hemorrhoid for the rest of my life. There’s no point in reporting him as he lives far away and no longer speaks to me. Good riddance. I’ve learned to be careful who I let into my life. I started to remember someone whom I once met when I was a teenager. He was the sweetest person whom I've met in my entire life. He also took his life more than 10 years ago, and I couldn’t believe that I tried to do the same thing. I added an old friend (more like classmate from middle school whom I had feelings for MANY years) on FB and saw that his mother recently passed away. I cried with him, and I felt like we really connected by sharing our sorrows together. I was even there for him at the funeral. However, I can’t force him to reconnect with me on a personal level. Rejection HURTS, and his indifference towards me hurt the most, but I have to move on for my own sake. I’ve learned to never again chase after anyone. I’m done.

Is it because I'll be 80 in 2022 that every day presents an experience that is significant. Relationships intensify, time shrinks, my mind reels with possibilities…of a better, more temperate world. I long for less rancor, more humor and kindness and fewer extremes of every kind. I think I am hyper-aware, tuned in to too much. (I really must do something about the mess of papers and files on my desk…and I spend too much time cooking though my husband would disagree. Funny thing, I read my last year's answer and tonight seems pretty much the same as last year, right down to the matzo balls which I'll do tomorrow morning!)

After months of being home, I returned to work. It was difficult at first as I had to get used to being back in the office and shedding the fear of contracting Covid. I was happy to be back, but also found that I was feeling depressed. I decided to return to therapy to figure out what was making me uncomfortable. After several conversations, I understood my sadness to be linked to returning to the office. I was feeling badly about myself physically, but working from home, I was able to hide behind the screen. Now, returning to the office, I would be seen and that was causing these feeling of anxiety and depression. With the help of my therapist and family, I am learning be ok with the here and now and not put so much weight on how others see me. This will be a big task as I need to change my thinking from the past 30 years. I'm sad for all the brain space that was taken up with such negative talk. I'm sad for my younger self even though I know all my experiences has shaped me to be the person I am today. In 5782, I'm working to loving and respecting my whole self.

I accepted a position in my community that has me re-evaluating all of my insecurities and where I actually am in my life. I don't know what I feel about the actual event but it has changed my course of action in some ways that I do appreciate.

I graduated college. I was incredibly relieved because it was a tough online year, but still feel like i haven’t gotten any formal closure from it since i didn’t have an in person graduation, and since there wasn’t much celebration after

I turned 75 this year which is very significant to me because it means I’ve reached a milestone: I have known Jesus as my Savior for more than half my life—38 years—surpassing the 37 years I spent spiritually lost and deprived of truth. I prayed a prayer as a young Christian of 37, asking the Lord if he would allow me to live until I reached 75 years of age. The time has gone by quickly and I recall asking Him 2 years ago to lengthen my life 10 more years. It’s additional time I’d like to enjoy living in my fully renovated new one bedroom condo. It’s lovely and I feel a sense of freedom and privacy that wasn’t part of the 30 years I had spent in the 3 bedroom townhouse that I sold in order to renovate and have my dream kitchen in this new space. It’s almost completed actually. I’ve got accent walls to finish repainting and then I’ll be done. Reaching 75 years of age fills me with gratitude and having money to do things has given me freedom to enjoy life. I’m inspired to make the rest of my life count by influencing people to know Jesus like I do. And I praise my God for the peace I have, the friendships, ministries (I’m a writer and a Chaplain) and lastly but importantly, my new and very lovely place. May I spent time practicing minimizing my possessions and maximizing my impact for Him! I will share my answer to this question by asking the reader: Are you familiar with the Bible verse John 3:16? It changed my life and my eternal destiny and I hope you look it up, in fact read the Gospel of John. There’s 21 chapters. It’s life-changing and life-giving! I know.

I became a grandmother. I am inspired, grateful and a bit exhausted.

I went home to see my parents for the first time in three years but really it was the first time my daughter and i spent time at home with my folks since 2013 when my dad got sick. I caught up with an old friend who dropped me a line out of the blue a few months before. I was able to really come back to my hometown as myself, as this person i am proud to be. I took one afternoon to drive around town by myself and visit my favorite places. As i walked down the sidewalk in front of my old high school it felt like walking with my younger self back in time. I felt so happy to be who i am today. I wanted to tell my younger self how good life could be if i just held on a worked through it all, if i just stayed true to the me i always knew might be inside me. It was a triumphant moment of realizing i am now the person i always wanted to be and never dreamed i could be. This was the first moment in my life when i was able to look back at my childhood and my youth and say it was alright, i am proud to have that part of my life as part of what shaped me. I was never proud before, but in that moment when i knew i was proud of who i am i understand at last that my past was an irrevocable part of who i am proud to be.

I loved and lost Bilal. I am so grateful that it happened. I learned tremendously about myself, others, and what I need in a partner. I learned that love is harder than it seems. That love isn't enough for a partnership. And I learned that you can make the right decision and still be deeply sad about it. And miss him everyday. And still tear up a month later when you see a momento of him or an old memory surprises you. I have learned a lot.

My husband and I bought a house. A big, beautiful house. I love it, and at the same time feel I don't deserve it. And because I don't deserve, feel it would be taken away anytime. I have to work on just enjoying it.

I got my vaccine against Covid-19. I was so desperate to get the appointments that I camped on the phone line for 3.5 hours to get the appointment! That was back in January 2021. And now? No lines, plenty of appointments. So I am all of the emotions in this question. Grateful that I can be protected. Relieved that I got the shots and an immune response. Resentful against those who won't get vaccinated, allowing variants to develop. I am not sure how this journey has inspired me. I've not written poetry, nor created new music. My garden looks its best this year, maybe that's my inspiration.

My husband, daughter, son, son-in-law, oldest grandson and I got vaccinated against Covid-19. I am so relieved and grateful. I didn't expect there would be such an effective vaccine so soon. I also didn't expect that there would be so many anti-vaxxers that the pandemic is not ending any time soon. I resent that they are putting children are at risk and raising the possibility of a vaccine-resistant variant.

My daughter was hospitalized with new onset Type 1 diabetes. I was shocked and a bit overwhelmed. My husband's reaction to it has impacted me the most as he has really struggled with it. I've been surprisingly accepting and at peace with it, but I haven't been able to convince him to join me on this side. I wish it hadn't happened and I know she'll suffer a lot with this over the years in many ways, but she's adjusted so well to it so far. And I know it's just part of her path/journey, one that I hope I'll be fortunate enough to walk alongside of her for decades to come. Maybe she'll be spared some other suckiness in life as a result. Maybe she'll one day be thankful for this and will see a gift in this. She's a very strong outspoken young woman and I could see her as a spokesperson of sorts for juvenile diabetes if she wanted to do that. I know that huge strides are being made on treating this and will continue to be made. Heck there may even be a cure in her lifetime. Although this was a game-changer for her, I'm relieved that she doesn't have a terminal illness. It sucks but it could be so much worse! I trust that God is holding her and has a plan for her life far bigger than anything I can imagine.

I returned to Chicago after living in family basement and after visiting several times friends who stayed after graduating + friends like family + spent enough Evanston summers beaming at the Chicago setting sun on the train going anywhere, gold light hitting brick or the shining Loop and the whole thing like a movie, but this was something else. Remembering weighing and back-and-forth-ing the decision for so long like standing above the cold lake waters and willing yourself to jump but holding still; I am so grateful that I came back and for the ways this city reminds me that it's relationships over everything. Inspired to, with roots, find the balance for giving and loving and sharing and asking for what I need.

COVID...the whole evolution of it. for me personally b/c I'm not a 'people person' I don't think that it effected me as greatly. I have the opportunity to work from home, which is wonderful. I have lost family to Covid and friends to time. I am able to be with my dogs and realize how much time of their lives I've have spent at work. My old dog 'Stewie' is 16 and my days center around his bathroom schedule. Although I am grateful for the vaccine I can't believe how strident the City of San Francisco has become with the enforcement. We are willing to fire long time employees and they will not be able to collect unemployment. How about that for a 'liberal progressive city'? It will affect more people of color and create more homelessness. There are 20% in SF and 40% unvaxxed. Are we willing to turn all these people out into the streets and not allow them to participate in social net work or work? Does this remind us of anything? Its what happened to the Jews prior to the Holocaust. I still miss my mom, but am glad she is not here in the physical world. I am grateful for my wonderful granddaughter and son. So much fun to spend time with her!

I let go of my domestic staff due to the impact of covid on my business and then we had the riots in the country. Firstly the riots made me relook at living in South Africa, so I applied for my UK citizenship. Then letting go of my staff gave me the opportunity to clean my own home, look at what stuff I had, and made me realize that I did not need such a big place to live in. I am grateful for the change and I feel immensely relieved that I no longer have the responsibility for other people's lives. I feel inspired and rejuvenated and I look forward to creating a new future.

My country was thrown into Alert Level 4 lock-down (the most extreme lock-down level: No one leaves their homes unless on essential business e.g. food shopping, essential workers & exercise), because the Delta Variant of Covid-19 finally reached us. This is the first time we have been in Level 4 lock-down in the country for exactly one year. Today, my city is still in Level 4, while the rest of the country has restrictions lifted and moves to Level 2 (normal life resumes with social distancing and masks in public, regardless of vaccination status). It has affected me greatly. I am depressed. I am unmotivated. I am scared, anxious, nervous, anxious, worried, anxious.. did I mention I'm anxious? About so many things; job security, financial security, rent, food, water, power, health... the list is endless. And I know I'm not the only one who struggles with these anxieties. Most days I don't even shower, let alone get changed out of my pyjamas to "work" from home. What's the point? Everything feels... hopeless. And helpless. I know that it isn't. I know I'm being very dramatic. But this is where I'm at right now. I hope things are different by the time 10q rolls around next year.

managed to travel to australia and have been here for the past nine months ... however much of this time has been spent in lockdown so once again I find myself in limbo, but, I guess at the start of a new life that began last year and needs to materialise

This summer and happening right now, actually! I decided to leave my job to travel as part of the great resignation. I have three weeks of work left, and I'm grateful and relieved. I'm excited and nervous. Also, last November I moved out of Everett. :) Thank god.

I've lost a friend of mine...Marc Stuart this past year. He died in Sept of pancreatic cancer. I couldn't see him. Because of covid. I really was so sad I couldn't say goodbye. I talked to his daughter quite a bit. It along with some other friends' sicknesses has caused me to really be aware of death and how it actually will be my turn someday. Not soon. But not as far off either. How do i feel about this revelation? Not sure it's made me more peaceful. I suppose resigned would be good. I just want to make sure I don't linger like my mom who I lost this past June. Her passing has reinforced how much I want to be able to be in charge of my own death.

I came to the realization that I didn’t want to renew my contract with one of my employers. What seemed like a good job was actually more stress than I could justify keeping in my life. Once I made my plan clear, I felt great relief.

Ken bought me a ring with intention of asking me to marry him. It made me think… What am I afraid of. This is what I have always wanted. However will he listen to me and slow down? I learned he does respects me. He will take my lead. This was so appreciated. He loves me unconditionally. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. True love is mine. Finally I’ve gotten just what I deserve!

As I predicted in a response to one of last year's questions, I changed to a new employer. My previous employer was going downhill fast and I knew it was just a matter of time before I was going to be let go. I was relieved to put the instability behind me, encouraged by the support and gratitude from my new colleagues, and energized to make positive changes that were recognized by both the client and project team.

COVID - ongoing and I am a whole mess of grateful, appalled, and horrified. Grateful for our health and the flexibility we have gained as we have embarked on and mastered working from home, learning from home, and staying safe. Appalled at the complete disregard for fellow people and science. And horrified that we are still fully immersed in this horrible pandemic while much of the country seems to believe we are done, breathing more life into this horrible virus.

My husband & I bought a house in October of 2020. It has been an amazing (albeit sometimes stressful) experience. I am so grateful to call this place home & that my 4yo has the room that he needs that he feels secure in.

I went back to school. I feel like it’s what I need to do to make more money to support my family. I am grateful that my employer has been supportive and allowed me to complete my internship there. Overall I just want to be finished so I can move on from my current role. I also want to make more money so I can have a more financial stability.

I got married to Brian. Wedding planning was the worst and I truly didn’t enjoy that. Being married (for two weeks now) has been nice. It isn’t much different than before other than getting use to calling Brian my husband. I am so grateful to be married. The idea of having a lifetime partner and that we are connected in this special way through marriage warms my heart as lame as that sounds. I am relieved wedding planning is over, but would relive the wedding day over and over again. I am so lucky to have such great friends. Their love and support that day are something I will never forget.

The growth of my friendship with John Foster and his passing. John became a really good friend. We talked just about everything and supported each other through our challenges. John said we talked about things that he could not talk about with anyone else (including Anthroposophy). On the day John went into the hospital, he simply said: “ No talking tomorrow I am in the hospital,” That was the last thing I had heard from him. I miss him. I think about him often when I am in the same neighborhood we traveled in. He has left an abiding impression upon me, and I do believe he is near. Grateful and expectant of John’s presence and also of the nearness of death, especially as I am approaching 72 years of age.

My dad passed from COVID-19 and we didn't get to say goodbye. It all happened so fast, I remember our last conversation being him feeling afraid and I tried to reassure him, genuinely thinking all will be okay. It wasn't. And I wish I knew it wouldn't be okay so I get to say my last goodbye. I would've said thank you for loving me and working so hard to raise me, and that we will all be okay because you've raised us up to be decent people. And I would've made one last attempt to ask him to consider the gospel. If this happened when I was younger in faith, I think I would've been resentful to God. Honestly, in the first few weeks after it happened, the possibility that my dad may be facing eternal damnation kept me up at night. But God helped me to trust in his goodness and sovereignty. I don't know where my dad is now because I wasn't sure if he did receive Christ as his Saviour, and trusting God means I give up my right to ever knowing in this life.

We hit the 2-year mark for my husband's motor vehicle accident and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) recovery. It's odd that I'm relieved, I think. He's made wonderful progress in Activities of Daily Living (ADL)- thankfully he no longer needs babysitting for things like showering- but is deep in the ADHD-like rut of needing a lot of guidance and prodding to get simple tasks completed. Some of that difficulty for me is acknowledging that this is our new normal, and my husband needs the same level of patience and guidance as our ADHD 8-year old, but without an aging out period- this may be us for the rest of our lives. It's hard. It's super hard, when he enthusiastically accepts the chore of doing the family laundry, but can't connect the pile of clothes in the basement with the realization that he needs to get down there and actually put stuff in the washer. I try to make it easier by sorting the laundry for him, so he's only dealing with discrete piles- but yeah, still multiple questions per session. How do I do X? Does Y go in the dryer? We try to alternate meal preparation, with the understanding that the non-cook does all the dishes. He tries to plan meals and gets halfway through a simple menu- a protein main course and a side veggie- and needs help to plan things to come out at the same time. On his "cooking nights" I gladly accept his questions on what I want from our local Chinese or pizza place, because at worst it's better than his best personal efforts. The worst part is because he's aware of his deficiencies, painfully so, and when he asks "Am I doing an OK job at XYZ?" I feel the need to reply in the affirmative, even if I must follow that affirmative comment with feedback about ways to improve. Because he needs that encouragement, that feedback, to keep trying. To encourage him to keep trying his best. To continue the struggle. As hard as it is to see everything from the outside, I cringe at thinking what it may be like from the inside of my husband's injured brain. The thought gives me almost-inhuman patience.

Hahaha I’m looking back at last years answer and this years couldn’t be more different. I’ll start where I ended last year. Leeroy and Renee were dating and we were planning on having her move in with us. She decided that if she couldn’t marry him then she was going back to her abusive ex boyfriend. Leeroy decided that she was worth more to him than me and decided he wanted a divorce from me. It was a really bad month with the three of us living together and he was really terrible to me and the kids. I finally got my own place and he got in a huge fight with my oldest. She decided she never wanted to see him again and he agreed. Then he kidnapped the younger two from me for two solid months and refused to let me see them. When I finally got them back I learned that he had been sexually assaulting them and had been for the previous five years. I had him arrested, his girlfriend bailed him out, the courts denied my protection order, he got arrested again, he got extradited to Alaska, his momma bailed him out, and now he is out but with an ankle monitor so he can’t come after us. Then I started dating this guy for awhile who fucked me over and stole 5400$ from me xD Then just last month I found out that I have cervical cancer lol So it’s been a fun year. The only thing that I’m actually stressed about is going to Alaska in October for court to testify against Leeroy. Oh also Deb and I broke up and she’s engaged to this guy who lives in California. XD they are a mess

Camp this past summer was amazing. Having Esther there and then having young Wesley there made me so happy. I am super grateful!

In the past year, my dog died. We had her put to sleep due to a tumor on her spleen. I am grateful that we had notice and were able to schedule her euthanasia at home with 9 days to spend with her. Her death was beautiful and loving and peaceful, and I am so relieved to find more happiness than grief when I think back on it.

I moved into my own apartment! It was so great to shift out of a very stuck place living in a (friend) relationship that didn't encourage me to be my best self or provide what I was looking for in co-habitation. Having my own space for the first time feels freeing, has allowed me to express myself more aesthetically, and feels full of possibility for the future.

I published a book and sold 325+ copies. It re-affirmed my belief in the project, am grateful to all who helped me on the journey, relieved I made it to the finish-line, and inspired to create a new "chapter" for Bless Our Workforce based on the positive response.

When William got his vaccine. I felt so relieved.

Almost a year back, I started my journey of full time entrepreneurship after flirting with ideas for more than two years. My past experiences were marred with conflicts and inner doubts when I started the journey. I was supported and accompanied by couple of people who joined me in this journey. After a year completed, I may not yet be there in terms of revenue or mega valuation, but I certainly have gained confidence, if others can do it, even I can do it. The last one year journey on one hand has humbled me and has left to understand and appreciate life in ways, I have never done. On other hand, I have had deeper experiences of nuances of managing people. I could realize, it is not about idea, but, people who execute the idea. I am grateful to support which poured from unplanned quarters specifically, three relationships where I had invested. I am inspired by the idea of laying a brick a day. Every day for me has been a new way of doing things, which takes us one step further in our journey. I also have realized, it is the journey which is more of joy comparatively than what we achieve. I have had my issues with people, how they may think of their own petty issues than involving themselves in larger good of the organization. This to me has been biggest put off as of date.

We bought an apartment, a massive relief, but also quite stressfull.

I was able to be fully vaccinated early in the new year. I'm grateful to have been given more opportunity to be with and to help my friends and family during these trying times.

I have become more deeply aware of who I really am and what I am doing here on this earth. While I am still very much so living in this "human," suit; I have a deeper understanding of what I am, beyond the physical body and on the 5D level. I am very mystical and incredibly keen with my intuition. The reason I have this awareness is simply because I've been immersed in what I referred to in my answer to this question last year - a giant experience. Ironically, my current "job title," is experience planner. The affect it has had on me is it's expanded my lens to more of a "wide angle/panorama," rather than a single focal point. I am beyond grateful. Not entirely sure I'd attach or reference this experience as being a relief - I suppose on some scale, yes, it is a relief to know WHO I truly am; rather than the more limited version most of us would use to describe ourselves - in the 3D sense of our jobs, our relationships, etc. The only time I am resentful of this experience is when I am depleted and/or out of reserves and looking at my circumstances as merely "this is all there is," which is very 3D and I know isn't true, because it is a very limited way of viewing things. On more occasions than not, I am extremely inspired. We are living in an extraordinary time right now and I am beyond thrilled to understand my role in and for humanity as one of service with my true gifts and self - making intuitive decisions, accepting the ambiguity, knowing my steps are guided and also leading by example so others may see the possibilities of what lies beyond the destruction onto the horizon of a new world and paradigm.

The significant experience of this past year was my employment at Bushfire Recovery Victoria - getting hired, discovering the truth about the organisation and the role, and quitting. Despite advice and stories about the organisation, I applied and was enthusiastically recruited. It appeared that the opportunity to work with communities to build resilience and social capital was amazing. I was primed, ready, thrilled at the districts I was assigned. I got the most beautiful geographical areas with quirky towns. But the organisation... my job was not community engagement at all. I was a dispenser of funds, the bureaucrat who fronted up and instructed communities how many hoops they had to jump through to get recovery funding. It was demoralizing, soul-sucking and impossible. I got NO orientation or induction, pathetic tools with no instruction on how to use them. The management really only cared about ticking predetermined boxes, and damn the community. It was like being gaslighted every single day. I lost my mojo, lost my self-confidence, and even though I knew I could take them to Fair Work and retire on a payout, I just slunk away. Now that I've been gone for three months (today!) I am starting to get my energy back. I have dug deep to restore my faith in myself and once again become a contributing member of this little shire. But it cynicized me about the state government in a way that all I see are power games and justifications. I have no confidence in any level of government to look after people the way they expect, and am very very sad and frustrated.

One of the most significant events was finally flying again after 18 months. This was early June 2021 and the pandemic was in a lull finally. It felt wonderful to finally fly. I went to Florida to visit my cousins. It was wonderful!

A significant experience in the last year was living in different temporary apartments for a 6-month period while trying to complete a renovation. It was challenging during the pandemic to live in such tight quarters and live/work/do school at home in 2 bedroom apt with our kids. I am relieved now that we survived the discomfort, particularly after RB had a bad ski injury and also lost his job in December. I am grateful that we are now comfortable in our new space, and the kids have their own rooms again. I am inspired that we made it through, and feel stronger as a result.

This was a year of surprises. The major one being I found out that the cancer I have had for 30 years was in fact a big medical mistake. For 30 years I have lived with a lie. I told my friend I had a no cancer, cancer. That is the best way I can describe it. Finding that out does not lessen the fact that I was treated for eye cancer, lived with eye cancer, made life decisions as a cancer patient with all the limitations that caused. Then one day in October with one phone call from my doctor the singular defining fact of my life was gone, a mistake no one could really explain. It left me with a feeling that is hard to describe. It’s not like I wanted to have cancer but having it taught me so many life lessons. In a real way it defined how I view the world and my place in it. I like who I have become so while it’s nice to know that I don’t have to fear the diagnosis and disease, I can’t really wish the years of the no cancer cancer away. It helped to make me who I am and I am very happy to be that person.

The past year continues to be all about covid. There was the brief glimmer of hope that we would be moving past it when vaccines came out. Then the delta variant wave hit. As a physician it's so hard to see people refuse the vaccine.... until it's too late. They hold on to fears and believe false claims from non-scientist over science. I struggle that every voice is given the same seat at the table. Our society no longer seems to value science. Not that everyone isn't respected but frankly the knowledge of a scientist and of a physician should outweigh the opinion of someone who has no training in this area. I'm saddened by the selfishness of my fellow citizens. Masking is not hard. Wear a mask to show respect for elders, for immunocompromised, for kids who are too young to vaccinate. It's simple. It's kind. It's the right thing. So yeah, I'm slightly bitter and resentful. Physicians are suffering greatly.

This is so mundane, but so huge in terms of my security: I got a new roof on my house. For 15 years I have chased leaks, and I finally got enough money to put a new roof on. It took only 1.5 days. It was a lot of money, but so worth it. I'm so glad to have it done. I also had my house pressure-washed, and it looks really nice now. I feel like such a grown up. I should, since I'm almost 64!

I went to the Kennedy School. I read. I was updated. I was exposed to lovely people working hard to be part of positive change. My career fatigue was met with oodles of people dying to be part of some of the situations I had been in and grown tired of. It was wholly positive. Except for Zoom… zoom was so unfortunate.

Oof - so many! Starting Smith and (completing) my first internship. I am so grateful that I made this transition to social work - I truly found like I have found the life, not just career, that will help me grow, connect, feel challenged, and experience joy over decades. I feel like I've come home to a worldview, and to myself, in a way that makes me feel good about who I am.

I was laid off from my job at the beginning of 2020, before the pandemic. I have been working hard to start my own consulting and product development business. It has been engaging and challenging but not producing the amount of revenue I had hoped to make. I have written many grant proposals but have not received one yet. I am still optimistic but I am also frustrated with the process. My wife had a significant medical issue that caused us to see a specialist once a week from Feb to Aug at a clinic that was an hour away. She is done with weekly visits but still has many months to continue her recovery. I am optimistic about her recovery.

This past year has, in many ways, been significant for me, but to narrow it down to one experience, I would say seeing my partner connect with his spiritual side in a new way through Judaism. It has been inspiring and emotional to see him partake in centuries-old traditions with new twists and ideas. I was concerned in some ways, as someone who grew up in a strict Abrahamic religion, that this could be difficult and triggering for us. But watching my spouse finding his way in Judaism is beautiful to me. I’m so happy for him and so hopeful that this will continue to be a point of growth and change for him as a person and for us as a couple.

Five months ago, my mom died. In the end, it wasn't the MSA that killed her. It was the undiagnosed interstitial lung disease that we didn't know she had. The paperwork from her last hospital visit had in bold next steps that she had an irregular chest x-ray and to go see a pulmonologist, but I don't know if she ever did. The last thing I talked to her about was Katie's new kitten. She hoped that he was going to make it. (He was only a week old when Katie got it) Joey is the one who made the call to 911. While we waited for the paramedics to come, I sat with her and sang Lady of Knock. She was propped up on the bed unconscious. When the ambulance carried her away, I sat on the stoop and cried next to Joey. After a week of a lot of prayers from a lot of people and some false hope, we decided the merciful thing to do would be to let her go. Otherwise she would have to be in a nursing home on a ventilator and feeding tube for the rest of her life. That was no way for her to live. She was already struggling so much to walk and to move with the MSA. She wasn't going to get better. It was only going to get worse. I still feel unmoored, unanchored, lost. This feels so unfair. She was only 64. She wanted so badly to be a grandma and she would have been such an amazing one. When we said our goodbyes, I wiped away two tears from her eyes. She didn't say anything but I wonder if she knew. I wonder if she was sad to go. There was so much more she wanted to do. I am not okay and haven't been since she died. I am just starting to learn how to ask for the help I need. I have a long way to go.

COVID-19 has been thought provoking. In many ways, it has made me grateful for the simple things in life eg going out to eat in a restaurant. In other ways, I have felt very trapped not being able to see my daughters and sitting at a computer much of the day.

Three deaths. Two dogs and my dad. October - my 15 year old dog died after a life well lived. I probably had him live a few days longer than I should have just because I couldn’t bear to see him go. The last day it was raining steady and he was just laying in the driveway out back. I went to get him and it was like picking up a bag of bones. So fragile for a dog that was such a hunter and so strong. Broke my heart to say goodbye. Grateful we ever rescued him and had 15 good years with him. If he could be a breed of dog everyone would have one. July - My 9.5 year old Bulldog was having trouble breathing. But, hey they have smushed faces, right? Nothing to see here. Except that 9.5 years old is actually pretty close to the limit for a breed whose average life span is 8-10 years. As the breathing got worse and it was clearly some kind of respiratory distress we drove her to the emergency vet where she had a heart attack and died. We were shocked and heartbroken. Again. Grateful for all the laughter and joy she brought us- she was such a goofball- but such a fast passing that I’m stunned at the loss. Then August. My dad passes away. Gives up after falling and breaking his hip. Just gives up. Failure to thrive. I’m angry at him for not trying harder. My mom still needs him. I still enjoy his company. But he chooses to leave us anyway. I know anger is an easier emotion to deal with than sorrow, or maybe anger is sorrow masquerading. My emotions are kind of a tornado in trying to process how we got here and that he is gone. They say Bad Luck comes in 3s and I’m hoping that it stays away now.

This has been a very different year for me. Not only have we been swallowed up by COVID-19, hate is at all time high, violence in streets consumes us. Is there ever going to be justice for all mankind? This year I have stepped away from Christianity. I no longer belong there. There is no true place of worship, learning and guidance for many like me-LGBT. Churches will receive my money freely and promptly tell me to take a seat in the back. Some members of my family condemned me to hell for my sexual orientation. The good news is I'm casting off the shackles of religion that has bound me and stepping into the light of Judaism. My conversion process begins after the High Holy Days. I've been attending Temple in Seattle with my dearest friend Marilynn. The first time at Temple I remember being completely confused. I stumbled horribly over my first encounter with Hebrew. Oh I was a hot mess. Marilynn lovingly guided me through. The rabbis have made my easier than I ever imagined possible. My visit to Temple I sat in the grand space as the members gathered in complete awe. The music, singing, prayers and liturgy began and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I belonged in Judaism. I left services so uplifted and joyful. Never had I had such a spiritual experience. For days I floated on air. Immediately I began talking with the rabbis and finding my way in this new found place of freedom, a belief in science and acceptance. COVID has presented many challenges and limitations, but I'm not distressed by them. It's done so much for me. I'm quite the introvert. As things slowly opened up I found myself craving community and friends. I wanted to be out and about among the living. I am grateful for this year and all it has restored in me. I'm definitely inspired! There is a spirit within me that has been renewed. A spirit of long desert dwelling. My thirst has been quenched and I'm going through new open doors. Shana Tova!

Wow, I have so many. Getting engaged! Launching conversations about diversity, privilege, social justice, etc at Cardinal Health and knowing we made an impact. Realizing I needed to leave Cardinal, even though it was a scary leap. Leaving Cardinal and getting a new job that I feel so so pumped about! But I’ll focus on the engagement. I’m so grateful, happy, relieved, calm, secure, confident, excited. Sometimes it still feels surreal, but it always just feels right. We are trying to be intentional as we plan this wedding and I am so happy to do this process with Connor.

I wouldnt call it significant in my life, but in the "norm" for life turning 40 is pretty significant. It just hit this past weekend so really hasnt hit that hard yet but over all things are fine. Body is fine, mind set is fine. Actually big thing that just hit me was the driving to NJ and the transmission going which altered the DE and NY trips. It also really hit because I have always confessed my sins especially for looking at Porn and master bating. Even after having brain surgery at 38 I didnt learn my lesson, but this time I really want to have it change. I have always been proud to not be addictive to things, but this I obviously am. I held that over my heart for a couple weeks but finally went to confession at Holy Trinity and I will admit my "whiteboard" might have a tainted color but it doesnt have that black writing, because I have confessed. I just hope that I am doing what God wants/needs me to do and am fulfilling his will.

A very negative experience working with colleagues who treated me very poorly, and even worse, abandoned our students in every way possible. The stress made a hard year that much worse.

Our Associate Rabbi took a position with another congregation. While I was happy for her and it’s an opportunity for our synagogue to retool, its also put more work back onto the Senior Rabbi, the staff, and volunteers. Because I’m involved in many aspects of congregational life, this has impacted me in ways I might not have foreseen. It’s created more work for me in the leadership role I play on various committees and in the work I do to support the Rabbi. I feel a sense of responsibility for helping to keep things together. I feel pressure to step up the amount and nature of work I’m doing at a time when I also have more pressing family and work demands in my life. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and even resentful, but I also feel proud and satisfied to be able to make a difference.

Grandson was born in august. Made me ao proud of the kids facing all the struggles and a smallish little dude. So grateful that this part is over and now we have to bring him home! Robert - lecture about girls and getting kicked out of camp anyway

My brother in law's untimely death from glioblastoma. Not being able to help my sister and to visit in a normal manner was excruciating. It has caused me to reflect on not waiting for the perfect time to do something. To be grateful for my family and how we came together. I am proud of my sister and grateful for her friendship.

Kalalau trail achieved accomplished almost died on mile 9. I’m inspired to do more challenging trekking

COVID-19 is still here. While now vaccinated, others have chosen not to; which makes it difficult for the rest of us. Delta variant is raging and masks and some restrictions are once again in place. Still anxious, depressed, and afraid to do "normal" things.

I felt immensely relieved when Trump left office. But then the Capital Riots just made me sad and angry.

Covid, it made be closer to my family. I got to spend more time with my children who are only getting older I am resentful in the fact that we are still dealing with the pandemic with no end in site. My boys just want to get back to normal.

I chose to leave my job and work part time. I really enjoy the flexibility in the new challenges, however I am resentful that I had to leave the full-time job. I loved what I did but I had so much struggle working for my immediate boss. In the meantime now I have been replaced by someone with less experience and know how he was making 60% more than me. On the other hand I am taking this as a way to inspire myself to have more balance in my life, be more organized to be more thoughtful more plan full.

I moved to a small seaside town where I had no family or friends to start a new job that turned out to be beyond awful; in my wildest dreams of how bad it could actually be I could never have imagined the toxicity, wage theft, gaslighting and overall bad vibes I would be encounter. Thankfully I rustled up the courage to quit after 4 months, though I so wished I had done so earlier as by this time I was already depressed, and really affected by it all. It took me months of self nurturing to feel normal again, to find joy in things that used to make me happy. It has made me terrified of committing to a long term job again; I will only apply for casual jobs now that I know will END. It really made me question traditional ideas of 'work' and why we subject ourselves to soul destroying situations to earn a pittance... I refuse to conform from here on in, I am now dedicated to consciously creating a life that I don't hate, and only considering jobs that have a positive culture.

I had the opportunity to work at sleep away camp. It was the most amazing summer. O worked very hard but loved it all and there so many perks. 4 grands, favorite niece and hubby as well as youngest bro and sister in law. Not many 73 year olds get to be a Camp Mom but I did and loved it all including my ODs each week.

My father died in December of COVID. Yes, sad. And a blessing as well as his Alzheimer's continued to progress. Another blessing was that in his semi-conscious dying state, he heard my siblings and I telling him we loved him, recognized us, and while squinting open his eyes told us he loved us all very much.

I turned 60, and had two outdoor parties. It would have been fun to have the big blowout I started planning three years ago, but mostly I'm grateful that as many people as did chose to come to the smaller events

Wow - so much has happened in the last year. Nathan, Roxy and I relocated to Lansing, Mi. and we bought a house! It’s been a wild ride. Some days I’m really excited and happy that we did and others I’m really sad, miss my family and friends and miss my old life. However, overall - I’m super grateful for everything I have and every opportunity I have been given this year. I hope to continue to push myself outside of my comfort zone and find some sort of fulfilling purpose or passion here in Michigan.

I had major much-needed surgery this spring, after it had been delayed indefinitely by the pandemic. Not too terribly long after that surgery, the delta variant began raising its ugly head. The timing of that surgery was fortuitous, as I didn't have to have it delayed another year. I'm grateful and relieved. But I harbor resentment against the people who refused to take this pandemic seriously. They hurt so many people beyond those who suffered and/or died from the disease itself. The resentment lives as the same folks continue to insist that their "rights" matter more than the lives of their community members. Ugh.

Rectal cancer, affected me emotionally and physically I’m grateful it did not spread, and relieved that I’m getting better

In the past year-ish, I moved all the way from Idaho to Oklahoma. It was stressful, especially when it came hot on the heels of my childhood dog passing away from a terrible disease. I resented the state I moved to--why was it so ugly? So far away? So plain? But it was where my father knew we needed to be, so I didn't ask too many questions. I am thankful for everything the trip taught me: patience; thriftiness; humbleness. Though, to be fair, I don't think I'd ever do it again.

I was diagnosed with IBD/Crohn’s disease this year. It has been quite a process—from all the blood draws, colonoscopies, meds, infusions, to a very unhelpful ER trip—it has certainly not been easy. Yet I still do feel grateful in a way for the chronic illness community I’ve found online. And I feel grateful to have at least a partial answer to why I haven’t been feeling well. And feel very grateful and hopeful that the infusions seem to be working for me.

I started taking Lexapro in June, and it changed my life for the better. I still feel all the emotions that are part of the human experience, but I don't drown in them anymore. I'm excited about and interested in so many things once again.

The Covid pandemic happened this past year, which was one of the most significant experiences in my life, so far. In addition, I made one of the best career changes in my life this past year. Also, the murder of George Floyd, and the resulting resurgence of a recognition of racial inequity in our country, made me realize how much I was not aware of all the traumas our Black friends, neighbors and colleagues have had to endure all their lives. Last, but not least, having Biden and Harris in the White House was significant, in a positive way. I’m grateful that my wife and I, and our families, have remained safe and healthy. I’m inspired to see some good changes in our government and society, but frustrated with the continuation of intentional ignorance, racism and hatred in the US.

A year ago I started having symptoms of a medical issue. After a few dr appts and a procedure I was told to eat a blan diet and drink nothing with acid in it. Which leaves water.. right. And medication. The symptoms continued and got worse. More dr appts and 11 months later I finally have surgery. All symptoms are gone. And my health improves everyday. I learned to stay strong and refuse to be treated like I don't understand what is wrong with my own body. Resentful yes somewhat. Relieved for sure. Our health is not to be taken for granted.

Thankfully, Joe Biden was elected US President and Kamala Harris was elected as the first female (and person of color) US Vice President. That helped to ease some of my anxiety. Still, the number of racist, anti-Semitic, misogynistic truly crazy people in this country who feel emboldened to harass others with their vile beliefs is shocking. The other lunatics with power - governors, state legislatures in Texas, Florida, etc., Supreme Court, - is dispiriting. So I feel relieved, but apprehensive.

I had a moment of realization in June that I was halfway through my college experience, that two-thirds of that experience so far had been COVID-influenced, and that the remaining two years were likely to be heavily influenced by COVID as well. I had an initial response of anger that I didn't get the college experience I wanted, but then I realized that, like it or not, this was the experience I would get. I then decided to try and make the best of what I had and enjoy college rather than wishing it could be better. I'm trying to hold onto that mentality and apply it to other areas of my life, especially as COVID and the climate crisis show increasing permanence.

HD-750 selling on Yahoo auction quicker than expected, then scrambling to procure new wheels, settling for 50cc Giorno for the interim, then waiting 2.5 months for new MT-25 to arrive. That Covid rendered this to be the most significant event boggles the mind.

My mother passed away in June, at the age of 100. She became infected with COVID about 6 months prior to that. She recovered from COVID, and for the most part did not experience overt serious symptoms, but it drained her of what little energy she had left. From that point on, she was pretty non-responsive during visits. My emotions around her passing were pretty diverse. In many ways, I was glad for her - her blindness and dementia in recent years was very hard on her. However, I've still felt a weight and sadness since her passing. Only natural, but it's there nonetheless.

I learned how to make my dream of 'collaborative management' into reality. It is possible. And I've built a system, it works, and it's in practice and growing in my companies.

Move into van. grateful and scared and excited

My wife has developed a significant issue with her vision (if you're diabetic, take control of your BGs or you will suddenly find out the health cost of ignoring it). Still processing it even 6 months later.

After Richard died almost 26 months ago, I truly believed that my heart, my ability to love, my ability to have physical feelings for a man died with him. These are things I KNOW I buried with him on 12 July 2019. On 13/14 July 2021 I "met" a man on a FB group of Jewish Singles over 60. He and I began talking. We now talk for hours each day, and had a chance to spend an afternoon together when I was in Georgia last month to celebrate my youngest grandson's first birthday. I've learned to smile and laugh again. I no longer go to bed at night praying that I will not wake up the next morning Whether our budding relationship will remain as friends, or turn romantic is yet to be seen, but I'm praying for romance. My Mr. Wonderful has only been gone for 2 years, but this gentleman makes me very happy.

A significant experience that happened to this year was the Bar Mitzvah of my Son. This was a simcha years in the making, and brought joy to our family during this pandemic and loss of my mother in law in May, 2020. It has inspired not only my son, but everyone when knows Mason. I am so proud of him, and grateful that we were able to celebrate together with everyone closest to us in person, and far from us via zoom.

I did a Landmark seminar. I woke up a few times with my heart racing and felt very anxious, so anxious that I didn’t have a period for one month. I don’t resent this, I feel a bit sad that I abandoned myself like that and I feel a bit grateful that I have grown beyond it.

My mother died after a very short illness. She was 97 years old and her mobility and health had been deteriorating over the last few years. The COVID lockdowns sped up this deterioration. It was very sad to lose her but I was able to be with her when she died and told her how much I loved her and what a wonderful mother she had been to her children. I still grieve but I am also relieved that I no longer need to worry about her wellbeing and happiness.

A significant experience from the last year was getting vaccinated for COVID-19 while still living with a child who could not get vaccinated because she is too young. Getting vaccinated was a huge relief. And then it was disappointing because: a) it turned out that not as many people as I thought would embrace--or even accept-- the vaccine which made it less powerful than I had assumed it would be and it became a politically divisive issue which was mind-blowingly disappointing and also upsettingly revelatory about the country we live in, and b) the Delta variant came along and it turned out that the vaccine wasn't a sure-fire protection. I felt protected against serious illness but I did not, and do not, feel protected against getting the variant and then transmitting it to my completely unprotected child.

I have battled cancer and won, though not without repercussions. It has surprised me at how much it did not distress me, but unpleasantly awoke me to how much physical pain I could feel. Of course I am grateful I survived and that after lots of work was able to get the good medical care I needed. The battle isn't over and I am living with other related issues, so I am not relieved, except of course that I am not dead! I'm not resentful, nor inspired, but more grateful that I am on the spiritual derech that I have been for a while, which made this all the more palatable.

I had a VERY serious health problem that landed me in the ICU. I very easily could’ve died but I got lucky and the medical staff saved me. Out of it I realized that I have to save myself and my trainer’s words came back to me that unless I changed course I was going to have a horrible, inevitable death. It inspired me to change my lifestyle to where I exercise, I’m doing keto and intermittent fasting. Out of doing all that I’ve lost 38 pounds. It’s very exciting to be able to donate all my fat clothes and break into the five crates of little clothes that I haven’t worn in decades. I’m glad I’ve saved all my old stuff from high school, when I lived in Paris and when I lived in New York. I have all size clothes from the early 1970s - 1980’s. My high school reunion for the class of 1972 is in June of next year. It is my intention to lose so much weight than I can fit in some of the clothes from that time. It’s funny how almost dying has given me such a different perspective on my role in my own life.

I believe God used me to come to the aid of a friend who had fallen at his house, could not get up, and had laid on the floor for over a day. This was spiritually meaningful and inspiring.

Our 2022 world cruise was cancelled. This was significant, and sad, to me because I have felt so restricted by covid protocols and was very much looking forward to the world re-opening and having this wonderful cruise with my husband. I am also worried about getting older and being limited by my own changing abilities, so this was significant for me.

Hugging my mom after nearly a year. I had seen her a couple of times during the past year - but we were distanced and masked. The vaccine made it possible. And that was a hurdle I had to overcome - being needle-phobic. Hugging my mom was the goal that helped me through not one, but both vaccines. And when necessary - they third. And the hug - oh the hug - it made me grateful, and brought a shining light to an otherwise dismal year.

I QUIT MY JOB. I knew I didn't have another summer in me and there didn't appear to be any other opportunities for growth within the organization, and that combined with a distrust of the senior leadership led me to give my notice. I made my decision in January and gave my notice for May, so that gave me 4 months to not only square away what I needed to with the organization but also allowed me to save some money and make sure I had some padding for the months I would be unemployed. As of today [Sept 6] I have yet to find a full-time job, but between a new roommate, a lot of dog sitting, and a new part-time gig - and some help from my parents - I am making it work. It's not ideal, and I am ready for full-time employment again, but I'm also not complaining. Being unemployed for the last 3.5 months has been an incredible gift, and I am so grateful to have had the privilege to enjoy it. At this point in time I would love the security of a full-time job [insurance, paid vacation, a 401k, etc], but I'll take unemployment over continuing what was becoming more and more of a toxic situation. I don't regret my decision.

Uncle David passing away. It was sad, obviously. But on top of that it made me realize we are at the stage of life where we take care of our parents, not the other way around. I am so grateful for the chance to not only say goodbye to him but to hold my dads hand while he said goodbye as well. And being able to be home for the funeral was a nice reminder that even when things are hard, I’m independent and can do what I need for myself and my family.

I was pregnant and gave birth. It was tremendously humbling how difficult it is physically to go through that ordeal, and I am extremely awed by the human body being able to go through that war and bring a tiny amazing human into the world. I am definitely grateful and in love with my daughter.

As a political conservative, I have been unfriended, blocked and had long-time friends end our friendship as they have come to know my politics. I am relieved that I am no longer "in hiding," but I am grief-stricken, frustrated, and worried about the closed-minded state of many in our midst.

This past year, I started to work at a liquor store. I feel grateful, relieved, guilty, and a bit ashamed. It's a new work experience and I do not really know if it's okay for me to express how happy I am in this role. It is not traditionally fulfilling but it is working out to improve my mental health. Hopefully, I will be able to keep growing with it and not feel stuck.

We took my daughter to college. It was profound - it felt as significant as the day I gave birth to her. I felt proud, frightened, optimistic, happy for my daughter. And a little jealous of this wonderful journey she is embarking on.

I got up to 215 pounds. I hate it, but not with as much self recrimination as normal. I'd really like to look thin, and fit into my nicer clothes. But I don't hate myself nearly as much. I can go out usually without feeling ugly and offensive. But my health is suffering and that I'm concerned about. And it's so hot -- I sweat just walking in the store while food shopping.

I gave in to living with a man. It was my first time and I really wanted it to be serious so it would lead to marriage. I believed in his lies and thought his actions were ok. He wasn’t ready and I’ve learned that I’m ready to live with a man but I need to really look to his actions on a consistency level. I need to not push myself to be with a man like it’s the last thing on earth. I need to be just happy and content being with myself. I am happy where I live and what I’ve accomplished after moving out of his house. I’m learning to let it go and have it as a learning experience. I’m taking back my anger and resentment of myself giving in to not be living by myself so many years. I feel stronger each time I say good bye to a no good man or guy for me. I’m going to continue erase all that I have to give in a relationship and what goodness I have to offer. Until I find a man that’s truly ready and committed, I’m not going to share space with. I won’t settle for less than I do deserve.

My wife and I were in a bicycle accident just about 9 days ago. Not far from home, she was in front of me, I served into traffic to avoid a pedestrian who was walking towards us in the bicycle lane. As I passed, I was looking in my mirror for cars in the lane adjacent to me. When I got back in the bike lane I looked ahead and realized that she had stopped. Her phone had fallen off her bike mount and she had stopped to retrieve it. I had about two seconds until impact and all I could do was brake my best and yell "Oh honey" as the collision was unavoidable. We collided and I sent over my handlebars. Such a crash had always been one of my greatest fears. Although I am sure it lasted only a split second, everything occurred as if it was being filmed in slo-mo. I felt so terrible and guilty that I had run into her and injured her. It could have been a lot worse. We were both wearing our bicycle helmets and neither of hit our head or lost consciousness. No vehicles were involved. Bernice Sue lost her two front teeth (in retrospect we think she must have hit her mouth on her handle bars). But she was on her feet nearly immediately. I was flat on my back. She declined the first offer of someone to call an ambulance. However, it soon became apparent that my shoulder was injured and someone stopped and called the police and a paramedics were dispatched. They put her teeth in milk and transported us both the the Tufts Medical Center ER. I had an AC separation and she had lost two teeth with a third one at risk. Daniel immediately volunteered to come up to Boston the next day to help us out. We were incredibly lucky as it could have been so much worse. We are grateful to all of our friends who came by with food and soups and showed us kindness, and especially to our son, who Chauffeured us around and volunteered to do so much for us, as he stayed with us for over a week. Happening right before the High Holidays, I cannot but be grateful for friends and family, and feel that in the end, this collision makes our family stronger.

A six week road trip to Chicago and a few Rocky Mountain states. I learned something: that some people have good reason to be conservative.

I had my left hip replaced Jan 12, 2021. The pain has been so relentless and ever-changing throughout my limb so I felt helpless and incapacitated to return to my usual, social enjoyments with my grandchildren and Nicholas. I took an online course on Body Wisdom, Nature Wisdom and have opened to much more consciousness - even though my pain has not totally gone away.

In the last year we decided to pack up and leave California for Austin, TX. It wasn't necessarily a spontaneous decision because we had the idea of leaving in our head from a few different spheres of influence. The Charnes routinely acknowledged how expensive California was and I think the political landscape exaserbated by the pandemic pushed us to want to make a change. Once we made the decision to leave and finally acted on it, it was early 2021. It really affected Laurelle. She was very sad to leave. She had an extended goodbye trail whereas I was a bit more certain in the decision. I really didn't see the downside. I also had more friends in Austin and I thought it was more my kind of city. I think that's true in a sense. Now that we've moved and we've been here for the last 6 months, I'm a mix of grateful that I have a partner who will take these life risks and changes with me, I'm resentful of myself that I couldn't make the career decisions earlier that would have enabled us to live a really nice life in California, I'm inspired by the libertarian mindset and the lower profile style living that Austin provides, and I'm glad we marked another chapter in our book together. Staying stationary scares me more than change. The opportunity cost of not making a move is what puts me at the highest order of anxiety and regret. Change is scary. Change will never stop freaking me out. Change is exactly what I need a lot of the time. I'm thankful we made this change because now we have more information than we had before. That matters a lot to me.

I moved to Indiana with Ryan. He got a job at Indiana university and I felt like this is the guy (still do) that I want to spend my life with I joined him on this Midwest adventure. First I was stressed and anxious and just lots of emotions mostly because I was leaving California and leaving my friends and family. I had never been to Indiana and the thought of letting go of my California bubble scared me. So far we’ve been here one month and it’s been good. Bloomington is cool! Lots of good food, outdoor spaces, and overall a good community. I’d say I’m not fond of the surroundings areas aside from nature due to racism and the unapologetic lack of acceptance and covid protocols. I am grateful to have this experience and grow/ strengthen my relationship with Ryan. We’ve found friends and fun things to do and our apartment/ neighbors are great! We also got a dog! Mabel is a wondering little Boston terrier mix. We got her as a puppy and boy was the first week hell. But it got better! Having her on a schedule is important in keeping Ryan and I sane. She brings me so much joy and laughter. It also makes me realize shit I don’t want a baby anytime soon. But a dog has been quite entertaining and lovely.

I got a new job. It’s been amazing and has helped buffer all the incredibly difficult things that have happened

The delta covid varient upset all my travel plans to see the family in France for 2021 Rosh Hashanah. We had planned we were fully vaccinated but then we had to apply for a permit and were rejected as it's not on the country best interest yet others get exemptions, it feels like living not in the lucky country but more of a military regime where we are no longer in control of our own lives, this is extremely stressful for me

I became sick while traveling in Israel with my friends from camp. While it made me sad and that it sadly made my trip less connected, it made me grateful that I'm healthy and I know that I can be myself and persist through challenges and get back to having fun.

Receiving the pure sweet love of children was life affirming and soul healing. I am grateful. I am transformed!

I was finally, formally diagnosed as having ADHD as well as trauma issues. A change of medication and a new therapist who uses EMDR has made a huge difference in my life. I’m relieved, grateful, inspired, but also resentful that it took so long to discover this. I’m 67, and I’m angry at all the lost and wasted years.

The 2020 election. Thankfully, Joe Biden became our President instead of Donald Trump. I am relieved, grateful, and happy. However, the ongoing turmoil, rancor, and dystopian dysfunctionality being exhibited in the USA continue to cause me anxiety and concern. Although my personal bubble here where I live in California is pretty secure, there are enough people around me whom I really can't comprehend or understand that gets me thinking about Germany in the 1930's. There can be series of small incremental changes that suddenly reach a critical mass, and before you know it, I and my loved ones have become trapped in a society from which we cannot flee. Will I be able to see it in time to save myself and my family?

The mikveh, just yesterday. I mean, it made me a Jew. I am so grateful to have made it this far, and to have been accepted into this people. I got lake water up my nose, in my mouth, it was embarrassing, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I got the prayers right, I dunked 5 times (four counted), I finally got to bless Hashem for making me a Jew. I'm glad the shehechyanu is in the liturgy for the mikveh. It's so fitting to celebrate making it this far when "this far" is to being a Jew. I'm relieved I got accepted and happy I finished and so glad to have finally been made official. The mikveh owners made us challah and charcuterie after, and it was magnificent. It felt like home. I'm happy to be Jewish and I'm happy to finally be home. Simcha was the right choice of Hebrew name for myself.

This past year I have found myself in my first adult relationship. My first relationship really - which I’m less embarrassed to admit, probably because it’s finally happened. Recently I’ve been remembering the moments of longing and yearning, often at the start of a new year, or booking tickets to things a year in advance: this might be the year I’ll fall in love; I could have a boyfriend by then - would he want a ticket. It’s affected me in a big way, mainly I’ve gone through some massive self reflection, ironic given I’m in a relationship with another person. Ive been triggered in countless ways and observed and reflected on my patterns and behaviours. I feel I’ve got to know my inner child well, my feels unheard, dismissed or unimportant, inner child. I feel like I’ve got to know myself in a massive way in general. Feeling more confident in myself, my body, being with Tom. Feeling assured and capable in a new job. I feel relieved in many ways, I feel like I’ve grown and taken steps forward in my life. I also feel nervous and apprehensive about what’s to come. Should I move in with Tom, are we right for each other. Do I feel seen and listened to in our relationship. Is it enough? It freaks me out to think of my future self reading this and knowing the answers, but faced with an entirely new set of anxieties I’m sure.

A significant experience this year was continuing to teach remotely. I believe I was the worst teacher I’ve been in my whole career. Other teachers now have the students I had last year and I feel so ashamed. I feel like I won’t be able to show my face at work. I am not grateful for this experience at all other than I learned more computer skills, remained gainfully employed, and didn’t have to deal with much classroom misbehavior. I also treasured the relationships with my colleagues and students. And I liked the silence. It was a relief to have the one minute commute from my bedroom to the kitchen table. I resented, if that’s the right word, how I couldn’t talk in my co- taught classes because of the feedback from the computers. I felt inspired by one or two of my colleagues. One was so compassionate to the students’ plight and developed creative on-line tasks. The other rallied the community to supply gifts she hand delivered to her students who showed initiative in class.

My sister passed away, about the same time that S****'s grandmother also passed away. Life is precious. My sister passing was... sorrowful... mixed with relief; sorrow for the hurt she thrust at me when we were little. And relief in that she was an uncomfortable person to be around. She was a mystery: I don't know how she suffered, all of us suffer, but she never reached out to me explicitly to share her demons. It was always roses and sunshine, or "woe is me" from her. She was an incredibly dishonest person; and communicating with her was exhausting. Yet still, I wished her well, and always tried to offer a door to something more honest and self-compassionate when the moments presented themselves. Thankfully, I have no unfinished business with her. S***'s Grandmother died with her daughter and son by her side, surrounded by loved ones. My sister died alone, one morning, in her bed... or so I was told.

A man I had dated 57 years ago contacted me to tell me he had loved and thought of me every day since we parted. The reason he was reaching out now was because he was very ill and had chosen MAID to soon end his life. Through emails, we had 2 weeks to share fond memories, exchange update information, all with a lot of humour and a great deal of tenderness, culminating in a totally unexpected etransfer gift 3 days before he passed. This is possibly the most astonishing experience I've had and I’m incredibly grateful. It has inspired me to pass it forward and let people know what they mean to me and why.

I experienced a lot of loss and none of it was COVID-related. But the isolation of loss coupled with the isolation of COVID, and the problem that no one - NO ONE - is OK left me completely depleted.

I was diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis, I guess it was a relief that it was not lung cancer (at first, as was a smoker, have since quit) however, as of now there is no cure for what I have. I found it rather ironic.

I found out that I have an autoimmune disease. It's been a rollercoaster, but it's under control.

A very significant thing happened to me this year. I swore off men years ago. But a friend asked if I was interested in meeting someone. I heard myself say "sure". We dated each other for 2 1/2 years. Three weeks ago, we were married. The kicker is that we are both in our late 60's. This experience reminds me of how life is full of surprises--some of them painful and difficult. We also get surprises that are far beyond our expectations. I am deeply grateful. It is so easy to forget that life can be wondrous amidst the difficulties.

I have had quite a few significant experiences over the past year. Last year at this time I was packing up my house to move into a new, smaller apartment. I am now settled in the new apartment and it has been an adjustment getting used to living with neighbors so close by. I did sell my house a few months after moving and that was very emotional. I had to leave a house my my late husband and I lived in with our 2 daughters for over 35 years. There were so many memories, good and bad, associated with that house that it was very hard to let it go. The move was for the best but as the New Year is about to begin I can't help remembering all the Rosh Hashanah gatherings and meals shared in that house. I was stuck in NY for the winter due to COVID. The cold was very uncomfortable for me after spending the winter before in Florida. When I finally got back to Florida in June my landlord wanted to sell the FL apartment I was renting and he wanted way too much money. So I found a house and bought it and moved in only a month! It is a beautiful house and I can see myself moving there permanently in a few years. I am so much happier having accomplished everything - all the anxiety of not knowing how it would all work out is now gone. I am relieved that now I can get on with just enjoying my life! Lastly, right after moving, I signed on with a health coach and began my journey to Optimal Health. It is great to say that after the past 45 weeks I have shed 70 lbs and I am the healthiest I have been in decades! There is still more to my journey but I am very excited to see where it will take me.

My sister died in November, from complications due to stage 4 lung cancer. It was simultaneously horrifying and sad and relieving. Horrifying because we thought she had many more years left, and I was helpless as I watched her die. Sad because she was my sister. Relieving because not only was her suffering over, but also because I didn't realize what a burden I was living with - taking care of her, feeling mothered by her, feeling like I couldn't be free.

In March 2021 I had to have surgery and have my left hip totally replaced. I was in enormous pain prior to the surgery but I did not stop working I did not let the pain slow me down I would not give in to being disabled. After the surgery Miriam and Naomi stayed with me for five weeks I could not have made it without them they were in a big help. I became impatient with Naomi she talks all the time and she comments on everything and I snapped at her at one point and in retrospect I wish I hadn’t, she’s so caring so giving so generous so loving and I couldn’t see that at the moment instead I just saw my annoyance and I regret that I snapped at her. I have never relied on anybody for anything I have always done it myself and in this case I couldn’t do it myself it showed me that I am fallible and also brought me closer to my sisters. Joe continued to reconnect with me. He sent an email, I responded, we exchanged emails over the past year he became impatient with me when I wasn’t responding right away and distorted my emails distorted my delay in response started accusing me of still being angry with him I told him I wasn’t I told him I was actually relieved that we weren’t together, that he made the right decision it was the best decision to make, told him that I would more than happy to be friends with him. Just a couple of days ago I got an email from him right before Rosh Hashanah again telling me that clearly I was still angry he was possessive of earth circles didn’t like the fact that I was posting on earth circles (after I caught him in a bit of a white lie again) and of course he distorted and projected and got angry and I told him that I could be friends with him that I didn’t understand why he was bringing all of the old stuff up because we’re not together we’re not breaking up again I wasn’t interested in drama just friendship and I haven’t heard from him since, so again, at the new year I end a relationship with him this time it was just a friendship but none the less full circle.

After years of study and jobs I did not like I finally arrived at a job / profession that I am happy with. Also it seems to be a fit for the future. So one basic element to not throw oneself up with.

Not a lot happened in my life in the last year... The country and the world are another story. I think I have to generalize, because I'm following the news as I never have and the political situation in our country -- in spite of Biden's win -- is looming large in my life. I have kept my head in the sand at many times in my life by picking and choosing my sources -- well, as much as I could to still be able to carry on a knowledgeable conversation -- but in the last year I have sought out information more than ever. It hasn't been good for my outlook or my mood. And yet I continue. Some of it is the spectacular nature of the bad things I see, which are a lot more difficult to ignore, or put in the back of my brain, than they have ever been. I'm not sure where I am going with this trend. I know it's bad for my mental health, but it feels really essential to me that I know how bad it really is. Some other significant experiences were: getting vaccinated, visiting Mom twice, Nico getting his first solo apartment, Jurri getting some help that seems good and Jakob visiting. The latter was especially important to my own well being because he always makes me want to be my best, and that certainly isn't the case in my primary relationship.

Of course, it is both the blessed election of Joe Biden and the terrifying events of January 6 and its aftermath. The last part of 2020 was frightening as it appeared Trump would destroy the world, if he possibly could. It was very tense shortly after Biden's election because of the right's response. Then, January 6th horrified us all yet reassured us that there were still honest and honorable people in positions of power. The first part of 2021 was stunning for its lack of bad drama and as we got shots and hoped we were all on the mend. We are back to uncertainty.

I think I've had two significant experiences this past year. The first is that I don't have to forget or forgive the way my mother 'mothered' (which is to say so poorly), but I just have to acknowledge it and move on. Some days I struggle with that, but most, I'm just okay with it. And shocked that it took me so long to get here. The second experience is the one I'm still working with and that's being silent a moment before opening my mouth to respond. I've only been practicing this a couple of weeks, but I'm grateful and relieved for it. I'm just not feeling the need to snap back and anyone and anything, but rather, think about what I want to say, if anything.

I made a great friend named Sarah at camp. I am glad to have met her and she has made me more outgoing and fun.

Moving to Williamsburg. So grateful, so relieved, so inspired. Feeling ready to step into a new home & new phase of my life/our lives together. As if I’ve come home to somewhere I’ve always meant to be.

Over the past year, I bought my own house. I moved into it and I emptied my savings account to furnish and fix it up. I told my mom that I was ending my marriage after 20 years and it felt like that was the first time in a long time that she understood me. I realized how dysfunctional and codependent my relationship with my dad and step-mom. When I established healthy boundaries they stopped speaking to me. My divorce was finalized after I realized my ex was hiding money. I now have half that money. My oldest moved to Tennessee to attend college and she's happier than she's ever been. My youngest is just about to get her driver's license. She spends her time the way she wants to spend it and she's learning about boundaries. I became salaried and the head of the household. I got my own health and dental insurance. I learned to install a dryer vent, a faucet, a new toilet seat and a guitar holder. I learned to use a drill. I learned how to use a lawn mower and a weed eater. I learned how to maintain a water softener. I learned how to track expenses and pay bills. I learned that I can do this on my own. I decorated my home and I love it. I sleep alone and I love it. My house is clean and I love and. I got on an antidepressant and it really helped. I reached out to my friends and I lost my mother. I try not to do anything I don't want to do and I don't make up a reason to get out of it. I just say that I don't want to. I'm learning to see myself, listen to myself and be gentle with myself. I had not idea I could do any of this. And I'm doing it. Am I grateful? Yes. Relieved? Yes. Resentful? Yes, but only when I'm tired. Inspired? I'm getting there. This life I'm building is going to be worth living.

Vedanta Life Academy was created by Swami, me, and our team. We put it together, launched it, executed it. It drew hundreds of people on zoom from all over the world. Together we transcended the pandemic and came together as a world community in a way we wouldn't have even considered doing pre-pandemic. It was inspiring, touching, triumphant, and full of the blessing of international human connection. Yes, gratitude.

Last year I wrote about Covid. The answer to this one this year is becoming a grandpa, and welcoming a daughter-in-law into the family. The granddaughter was born in 2020 before the holidays last year, so I probably mentioned it before. However, it is a significant event for the last year and will be for the rest of my life. My son getting married is also important. I am adding late that I did have a heart health problem get diagnosed this year. I have a rhythm problem. Over the last several years I have been complaining about waking up at night with a palpitating heart. Mostly the doctors did not get too upset about it. I did have a stress test, sonogram, and sleep test. The first diagnosis was sleep apnea and they thought that might be part of the issue since other tests were all negative. However, this spring I wore a heart monitor for 30 days and they were able to capture the arrhythmia on the device. I also had an incident after dinner one day where my heart started racing to upwards of 178 beats/min. The end result was that I am on some meds to slow the heart, and I have stopped caffeine and alcohol. I am not too worried about the problem, but one does not want to think about health problems. The heart is kind of vital.

I hit menopause. That feels big. I’m all of the above—grateful, relieved, resentful, and inspired. I’m still sorting out and processing the bits from each feeling.

The most significant experience in the past year was our miscarriage. I'm honestly still figuring out how to process how it's impacted me. We are about a month out from my final appointment, so 5 weeks from the D&C and 6 weeks from finding out. I'm left with a lot of different feelings at this point and I know that it will continue to change for me. I feel like we had a huge loss and that something shifted. I feel grief for the people that we were before the miscarriage, for the loss of the people who were pregnant and so excited, who were rearranging their lives for something so new and exciting. I felt like I was a part of club- the society of expectant parents and then all of a sudden we were out. I feel slightly less excited when I find out a friend is expecting and then I feel bad for feeling that way. I feel politically energized. I was always interested in increasing access to reproductive healthcare but this personal experience with the healthcare system has made me feel these convictions in my bones. I am more angry when I hear about abortion restrictions and more empathy when someone shares their own experience. I feel incredibly grateful. I am so priveleged to have access to healthcare, an incredibly supportive partner, friends that will go out of their way to help me, family that I can tell any thing too, and enough mental health tools and support to handle this crisis. I will never forget Uncle Brent or Alex crying as they asked me how I was doing, their heart-open support of me and their genuine sadness at what happened to us. I have felt so much love through this.

My father died in January. Even typing it feels weird, because it still doesn't seem real. Between COVID and the busyness of being a working mom of 2, it just feels like I haven't seen him in a while. So, on the one hand--it changed everything about me and my identity; I am now a mourner, I am now fatherless, I am now the only child to a widowed mother. And on the other, I am disbelieving, and have not integrated any of that change into my daily life.

There were several significant things this year. I was able to get vaccinated against CODID-19, which, although not a guarantee against catching it, was a big relief. Biden beat Trump in the election, which was another big deal. These were both events that didn't solve problems we had 5 years ago, but it made some current problems less bad. My mother is also heading toward dementia, if she's not already there, so that's a recent development with a big down side.

I lost both my dad and M. within six months of each other. Neither loss was expected. With dad, I pre-loaded my grief with his diagnosis, and though it was only weeks between diagnosis and death, I was able to reach a point of acceptance, and I am so grateful to have been there when he died and spent time with him after. But we expect to outlive our parents; we don't expect our friends to leave us while they're still young. So M.'s death left me bereft and furious and reeling -- how could I not know how badly her alcoholism had become? Why are addicts stigmatized? Why does our healthcare system so awful? And the worst questions still haunt me: Was she awake when it happened? Did she know what was happening? Did she burn or was it smoke inhalation? Was she in any pain? I'll never know.

I went to Boy Scout Camp with my eleven year old grandson. I was there as a commissioner and he as a brand new scout. It was very cool to spend that time with him alone and watch him be a little boy with me and learn more about responsibility and edging toward being more grown up. I know we will both cherish this time in the woods together and I appreciate that he could see that I was giving something to the Scouting community while we were bonding. Putting my experience back out there for others is a good example for him. And for me.

I joined a synagogue and decided to pursue conversion. It gave me a sense of relief as I’ve been wanting to convert for almost 10 years. I’m so grateful for my new community, how welcoming it has been and how it has given me a sense of place.

In the end, we broke up. It wasn't right for me. 5781 was so special because of Emma and our relationship. But ultimately it wasn't right for me. Somehow, I feel sanguine. And that's strange, and I feel guilty about it. But I think it was the right thing for me, and creates new openings for living my life. I don't feel lonely, I don't feel like I'm wandering in the desert like I did for those years after Sam broke up with me.

This past year I started a new job and had a baby. These have been incredibly significant experiences. Yet also inherently impacted by the pandemic and the isolation it brings. I'm proud of the hard work and care that I've put in to both the job and the baby, and impressed with myself for navigating the associated challenges while maintaining pretty good emotional equilibrium.

Mom died in April. Peacefully and with Jo, Tom, Mike and Barb there. I am relieved for her and Jo and the rest of us, too. She wasn't able to recover enough from the fall she took on the afternoon I left to drive back to MD. Her quality of life had gotten pretty attenuated. Sure, she would have liked to live longer but if you aren't eating or drinking and you are injured on top of that - your body might not be able to come back.

Wow - so, so many...but the one I think of is hard to describe. The general deterioration of society has been the most impactful. The election was not only nasty, but turned into a historical attempt at blocking the transfer of power. Friends and family no longer speak because of their different views on this. Closely related, the differing views on the COVID pandemic, and it's revitalized vigor mirror party lines, with the left believing it to be society's responsibility to look out for others, and the right believing the whole thing is a farce and is meant to be ignored. And small things...nasty notes written anonymously about trivial matters that show the writer has zero sense of community or empathy. So many people (and again, largely split by party-line) have such short fuses and live their lives in mistrust and anger. I fear this will be the ultimate un-doing of the nation, and wonder how many lives will be lost during the decline. I am inspired, then, by those who do what they can - often with no reward - to mitigate this. I have done what I can, on a community level, and family level...but do not believe as a collective community we can continue in this manner without dire conswequences.

I gave birth to a baby. I have been scared and confused during pregnancy. But then the baby arrived, and everything changed. I am now full of joy, love, empathy.

We moved to a new house, leaving the only house my daughter had ever lived in. It was a bittersweet thing, leaving what we knew, all those memories and people. Our new address is a much better fit for us.

Grandma passed away and is gone now. I think I am still slowly figuring out how it affected me - sometimes it feels like it’s slowly building something inside me, sometimes I am worried that it didn’t affect me enough (what does that even mean? I guess, from such a big loss, I’d hope I learn something proportionally large, in some kind of belief that loss is a right of passage and some big lesson is like a shitty symbolic money back credit from life). I will never forget the feeling of kneeling on my carpet at the telephone, telling grandma goodbye and that she was a mother to me and an amazing person, and then melting into a pile. The rest has been less straightforward or pronounced. I miss her. I worry about mom. I worry about me and Mark and anyone and everyone, including kids I don’t have yet, and life being short and me wasting it. I worry that thirties will taste like toil and loss (but do I really believe that? I hope not. I think I have more hope than I give myself credit for). One lesson that was beautiful was all the love around me. Outpouring of love and kindness. I have loads. I guess I came to no deep conclusions, understandings or profound lessons, but in the end of the day just reached a reluctant urgency in respect of the message that life is worth living and one has to give it their all.

Getting my COVID-19 vaccine was the most significant experience this year. I got a little choked up when it happened. I went to the united Center for both doses, and seeing all of those people there, the national guard all lined up to dole out doses, it felt overwhelmingly significant. I couldn't believe that after so much waiting, so many tears, that I was finally getting that vaccine. I am so grateful for it, and relieved. Of course, I'm also very resentful and angry with those who have refused to get it because they buy into misinformation. It seems so selfish to decide not to get it! And it makes me feel very sad and not too hopeful about humankind. But I try to hold on to the fact that, through the wonders of science, the hard work by countless smart people, I was able to be vaccinated.

Art and I both became disabled and required surgery.

I realized that restriction and dieting were doing me irreversible harm and made the scary decision to stop. I'm now recovering from disordered eating and struggling but also hopeful. I'm grateful for arriving at this moment.

I got the covid vaccine. At the time, it made me feel incredibly relieved and hopeful for the end of the pandemic. Unfortunately, the pandemic is still raging as so many people either don't have access to the vaccine or refuse to take it and new variants continue to emerge. I am still hopeful that we are nearing the end of the pandemic, hopefully within the next six months or so, and I am still incredibly relieved to be vaccinated. But the end still seems so far away, so I have to still be patient. Life is still far from being back to normal for me and after a year and a half, I am tired.

My parents got vaccinated and the facility opened up so we could see them. Mom passed and I planned an amazing service for her. I am grateful for so much in the experience. It helped me shift and deepen relationships with my family. It showed how my company responds to a 15 year employee in crisis, it helped me reset myself after The major part of the COVID pandemic.

COVID and Biden being inaugurated to POTUS were very affective for me. Made me grateful for health and mom getting through COVID. Seeing Trump leave office was such a relief. Politics have been very toxic on top of COVID anxiety and fear. It was a hard 2020 and 2021 so far started with more of a relief but now that the Delta variant is here, COVID has brought the anxiety, fear and "over it" mentality back again. I find that I'm resentful of those who see vaccinations as political. We couldn't be more divided as a country.

I moved to Atlanta this year, found a place where I can grow creatively, and friends who support me and inspire me. I've dealt with a lot of imposter syndrome and self-doubt that I'm trying to get past. I've learned I'm great at advertising and more importantly, I really love it. I also started therapy this year which has been the best thing I could have done for myself. And overall, I'm growing a lot even if it doesn't always feel like it.

I lost my license because my keratoconus worsened, and I also developed cataracts that can't be removed because they aren't ripe yet. I honestly don't know how I feel about it beyond distressed and frustrated. I was able to get my license back with day driving only...but only if I promised to get scleral lenses...which, after 9 months, I still can't wear properly, so I'm still driving with bad glasses (and have now lost my depth perception). It's been a real struggle. I'd like to say I am any of of these things-;grateful, relieved, resentful, or inspired. Instead I feel stuck and hopeless. It's a disease no one understands and it has been super difficult to deal with in a pandemic. I would really like to take some time off work and just assess my life and figure things out, and well, just I dunno, be extremely low-vision for a while without any responsibilities, but that's not possible. I'm turning 50 in six weeks and feel more lost than I ever have in my life. I'm usually the fixer. I don't know what to do with this seemingly unfixable situation.

I moved to Ecuador to retire here and due to the lockdown I was isolated a great deal of the time and was sometimes very lonely as it is just me and my cat but it also gave me time for introspection and meditation and time to read so it was not all bad!

Well I would say my move from Hawaii to the keys was the biggest experience in 2021 for me. It’s been overall good - I’ve felt confident in myself and definitely am grateful that I enjoy my job but I am resentful it wasn’t my choice of where to live. I miss seasons. I can’t see myself here more than 4-5 years honestly. I’m relieved to not be in Hawaii during this COVID bs but I do miss the landscapes and life there. I’m still happy to be where I am

I went to Kenya and Rwanda and brought Alec with me! I cannot believe it actually came about since it was cancelled due to covid. First, someone dropped out allowing me to go as a single and I jumped on it. The trip way lead by Tara Stoinski, the ceo and science head of the Dian Fossey Fund. Then it was cancelled until the following year (in 2020) and by the time August rolled around more people had dropped out including the woman I was to share a room with. When I told Alec that I was going he was so excited for me I decided to spend the money to take him with me. I was so grateful to have that experience with him. It was beyond any of my expectations and the memories will last forever. I'm proud I was able to hike up the mountain, it was hard!! I felt incredibly grateful and at the same time sad that so few are able to fulfill their dreams like that. God has granted me such grace it is beyond my comprehension. I continue to be amazed as I travel with the wonderful people I meet, both in the countries I visit and the people I travel with. The more I see, the more sanguine I become about the world. The Rwandan people we saw and met impressed me tremendously with their resilience after the horrors of the 1994 genocide. Going through the museum really brought home to me the importance of not only remembrance but vigilance against the horrors that can be inflicted by selfish, sick, authoritarian regimes. It was shocking and made me more determined to speak out against ANY kind the "them-ism"

My great-niece was born in January. Significant, naturally because every birth is, nu? Significant too because she was born just shy of the first anniversary of Mom’s passing. I realized that in many ways, it falls on me to pass down some ideas about faith/religion (the two are not the same) because in my family now, I’m the one with a ‘religious tradition’ and sentiment. Not entirely up to me and maybe not at all. Really, my Mom’s voice and direct influence will be /is missing. Joy of course at the birth. Sorrow at the lose. Dor v’dor.

We gained a new family member, and her name carries the memory and strength of two wonderful women.

A significant experience of the past year for me was getting vaccinated. George heard about a place in Danville, IL that had extra vaccines since the idiot people in that county were not getting vaccinated. We piled the kids in the car - it was the longest time we’d all been out of the house since we moved in - and drove 2 hours south to Danville. The place was a random empty mall in a shopping center, and the kids and I walked around in the parking lot while George went in to get his shot. He came back pretty soon and it was my turn. I went in and it was a pretty organized operation, with nurses and workers signing people in. I sat down for my shot and felt so many emotions - hopeful that this would really protect me; sad that it wasn’t the same thing as what I really wanted, which was the definitive end of the pandemic; angry that this had taken so long and that stupid Trumpers were refusing vaccines and they were going to waste while people in Nepal and other countries died from Covid. But mostly, I felt grateful to the workers and to science and to human ingenuity against the virus. My arm hurt, but I otherwise felt fine. We drove home feeling proud of ourselves, as the kids slept in the car, and returned to our house to wait out the rest of the pandemic.

I moved my therspy office home after thirty plus years in the same building. Now I have my beloved books, art and furniture in a little house in thr back yard. Sweet dog Sylvie even joins some sessions. I expected to feel some loss and sadness but in reality I am just thankful and relieved to be able to continue rightful work so easily in COVID times.

My daughter started college. I am grateful that she can - happy that she is doing well - a little jealous of that time of life which was a lot of fun... Happy that things at home are better than I thought they would be with our household going from 3 to 2.

Received our COVID vaccines -waited the 2 weeks and were elated to spend time with Grandkids again -only for the Delta variant to popup and Florida to make a complete disaster of the situation by enforcing no-mask mandates, needlessly endangering everyone -especially school children. I was grateful, relieved and now resentful!

Really came to terms with my gender and the mess of it - started distancing myself more from the ways I was raised to be. It's given me room to breathe in a way I didn't expect including stomping down on the stress from mom and letting her know how she makes me feel. It's hard putting myself first but I feel like I finally am. Which feels horribly selfish buy I know it isnt. It's just me finally realizing I have the same worth as everyone else, even if I'm not who they want me to be. I cant live as anything other than myself.

Chaplain Residency and CPE. Grateful, unexpected curriculum, different experience, curious.

I broke ties with both my sister & a lifelong friend. There were different reasons for each break. I’m still processing it. Some days I’m angry, others relieved, and others just sad. I feel like I’m in a time of realignment.

I tore my ACL playing soccer and it was the craziest thing that has ever happened to me. I felt so overwhelmed and it gave me so much grief and sadness to think about all of the steps I would need to take to get through this: surgery, PT, and the mental strain. Also dealing with the breaking up with Michael at the same time really made me depressed. I knew I had to concentrate on my knee though. I’m grateful I was able to go through this because it really did make me stronger in the end (even though I didn’t fully believe it when people told me it would). I think I’ve shown myself (2.5 months into recovery) that I’m capable of a lot more than I think I am. And I’m fucking strong. It’s also made me realize how important working out is and moving your body all of the time. Working out will now hold a larger importance in my life.

I got a job in a field I really love. While there are lots of niggles about the role, I feel like this is an organisation where my skillsets have found a home. It's done great things for both my identity and my confidence

That's tough, this being my first year living in Israel as a citizen of my people's homeland. But ultimately, THE significant experience of the year has to be being the mother of a soldier serving on the front line in wartime. Two moments stand out within that: the night before it all ended when we were in touch and he thought he was going to die; and the week earlier when his buddy Tabib z"l was killed while completing an assignment that could have easily been his. It affected me by binding me more closely to this land and increasing my gratitude to hashem for my blessings in keeping my boy safe. But also, it's changed how I view every conflict we experience here. Now, I'm more aware of the mothers whose sons may not come home, and the mothers not sleeping and thanking hashem for the ability to do so that they learned when their boys were babies. They're grateful because they'd rather be up, checking the newsfeeds and whatsapp knowing no news is good news. And now that I've been that mama I can never again think the path to peace is simple. I think I just need to find a way to help spread light to those who participate in the process more directly.

The past year has been the movie groundhog day. Because we are in our seventies, my husband and I mostly stayed home except for medical appointments. My son did our grocery shopping which I enjoyed because I always find shopping of any kind boring and a chore. I couldn't hug my grandkids. I watched the USA continue imploding. I watched people refusing vaccines and masks while relying on God to protect them. God provide a vaccine through researchers and masks through manufacturers but they wanted a different answer. Every day has been pretty much the same for over 18 months. The only significant experience was a got a new knee and I wasn't home for four days. Covid had the most impact on my life because to stay safe I had to stay home.

My wife has had two cancer screenings after her surgery last year. Both screenings are cancer free. I appreicate my wife more and really cannot imagine life without her. I think until her cancer diagnosis, treatment, and operation we took each other for granted after 37 years of marriage and 2 kids. We are "dating" again to rekindle the old romance.

Q1 By far the most significant events that have happened in the year were leaving New York and starting a relationship with Aaron. It was January 1 that I moved into South Pennsylvania. It was such a wonderful place to be while it lasted, I loved the people and I stayed way longer than I had intended. Reconnecting with Aaron has been very special and I can see A future with him which is what I’ve been looking for for years. Like any kind of relationship it has its work and it’s annoyances but I’m excited and optimistic this is a relationship which will positively continue. Last fall in the city was beautiful and exciting in a Pilates perspective. Once we were able to get back into the studio I was working a tremendous amount and feeling really confident. I got to do some and see New York things and the city was open enough to do stuff. It was and still feels bittersweet to you have left. Although I don’t super love living in Denver I’m happy to be by family, I definitely got great snowboarding in, I have friends old and new, I’m back in my house and it’s almost looking beautiful again. I have a happy dog who has adjusted to living in her home, despite still being old and crabby. I’m teaching Pilates and I’m working at a nice dental office. Although I feel a slight FOMO I am happy with the way life is going right now.

I got engaged this year. That was significant on many levels. For one thing, it means I've healed enough from my 1st marriage and that awful divorce enough to consider doing this again. For another, it means that Matt opened his heart to me and stopped holding back. Another amazing thing that happened is that I opened my mindfulness-based life coaching business, Bechira Coaching. Along with this I made rapid progress through coaching training at Mindfulness Coaching School. I believe I have (finally) found what I was put on this earth to do, Baruch HaShem.

Started investing professionally in startups. It has been awesome. Very challenging but so much learning, great networking, and its just fun. Also, our system is rigged towards those in finance which is fun while you are in it but probably bad for society.

The past year for me has been largely spent being utterly drained, mentally, from a bad work environment. It greatly wore down my self esteem, my physical condition, and my family life in general. But it did teach me about the sorts of things I'd like to prioritize in myself and how I treat others. For me, it has meant really getting a sense of how important it is to have a work-life balance and to avoid burnout. There was a time in my life where the kinds of late hours would have been no big deal. Where the separation from home would have been okay. But now I have things that are important in my life. My relationship is good, I want to be there for my family, especially now that it's expanding. The entire experience was awful, but it has led me to a path of more self-respect. Knowing that it's actually bad to be treated the way this job treated me, and that I can and should expect better. A lot of that is the situation, a lot of it is being with a loving and supportive partner who encourages my own self-growth, but, either way, it was a lot of painful transition to end up at a happier place, I think.

Getting my COVID vaccinations was a huge relief for me. they enabled me to start thinking about having a life again.

So much has happened this year, with some doldrums in the middle. Probably the most significant thing was that my grandmother died, not unexpectedly, but in hindsight I do not think I was prepared. I have felt an enormous sense of loss, and nostalgic yearning. Even though she had been slipping further into dementia for several years, it seems impossible that she is truly gone. It has affected me by pushing me to be a better friend to my mother, to try to honor the world that my grandma gave to me.

Weirdly this past year has felt terribly insignificant and I struggle to think of anything. There must be something? I guess our two family holidays (one was a long weekend and the other was 10 days) since Covid all started were significantly awful. Instructive as to how much we have become tied to our own small worlds. Challenging times with young kids most definitely not up for leaving home. Yes I resented both holidays highly - because there was so much riding on them I suppose. I was just desperate for a break. I think I need to realise that as a parent there is no such thing.

Stayed employed. ALl my family members stayed employed while others stayed at home living off the gov't

I finished my novel! I'm so proud and happy with it! And then I started revising it! I'm really pleased that I became someone who could write a novel. I wish I had more time to devote to it, but I'm pleased with the trajectory and I just keep finding it engaging.

My husband cut his long hours as a G.P. to half time. When he first started he was doing 120 hours a week. Yes really. All day, all night, all day then sleep then back all day, all night, all day then sleep. No-one who has not done this understands that level of exhaustion. He has been working 33 years and still does 60 hours a week. . He has worked the equivalent of 3 ordinary persons working hours. He will soon stop altogether but already he has no idea how to fill his time. When you work that much you don’t develop hobbies. First he must stop feeling everything is urgent. Then he must start to find another way to live. I am both grateful for his effort and endeavour and achievement over the years and relieved that his life will no longer be dictated by the needs of everyone else. It is now time for him. I must let him find his way in a new reality where he has leisure and choice.

I bought my first home—something that I certainly didn't anticipate this time last year. It's given me a sense of coming into adultness that I hadn't experienced before and has made me feel a lot more financially secure. It was a big step that I'm grateful that I was able to take.

I didn’t get a promotion I believed I deserved. I was initially really angry and get disrespected. However, after talking it over with friends, I realized that I really like my job and the people with whom I work. While I could leave the company and get a better title, I don’t think it would make me happier. I’m glad I have friends who helped me think it out.

Bought a flat. Thought I would want to do things fast but actually due to lockdown I was just very happy to enjoy it, go step by step and enjoy this! It's weird to achieve something that I didn't think I would.... And be grateful for that. I also chose to move schools which has been a big upheaval but I think it will pay off but as I've only just started, who knows!

A significant experience was beginning school again in March. It was a kind of rebirth of forward movement and I feel like I have found my path again. I feel like I am joyful to be on this path, that I can see the path and, for the first time in a long time (maybe ever), that it is yes, deeply right for me. It will be a long haul, and I am intimidated by that, but I feel its place in my life. I know it's my journey and I am here for it.

Going to Esalen and sleeping in a new place after being sheltering in place for almost 18 months. It affected me deeply — leaving me with a sense that I was living a dream. The experience was the same quality — blurry background with sharp attention to detail. At first, it was a bit disconcerting and confusing. My brain couldn't take it in. When I couldn't place where I was (like driving down Highway 1 and feeling like I'd overshot the location), I got scared. Doubted myself. Felt disoriented. But it was beautiful. The little things felt meaningful. Like playing the game, and the man across from me. His expression was extraordinary as he told me that "he liked the game."

The love of my life broke up with me

There have been several. My mom’s death which is a relief b/c she doesn’t hurt anymore but sad b/c I miss her terribly. Second is my husband’s continuing recovery from Stage 4+ esophageal cancer and third is the estrangement of our son from us. I’m grieving

I got a new sponsor (this just happened). It was part of a huge wave of self-esteem, like rising up from a new rock bottom. Dealing with difficulties with my husband at home ongoing, and then dealing with new difficulties at work, and seeing how my tolerating these difficulties made me miserable, I (finally) took bold (courageous!) action for change (to change the things I could). If I have to deal with a husband who is not timely and whose process I can't follow, and a boss who is not timely and whose process I can't follow, then at least I can find myself a sponsor who is timely and whose process I can follow. And I can/should/need to speak up for myself when things are not going in a way I deem acceptable. This doesn't mean I'll get whatever I want, but it does mean that I am obligated to say that things are amiss when they truly are.

We had to make the hardest choice to put my son in residential treatment. This was so hard because I can be controlling especially of my son. He has Autism and I manage most things in his life. I had to give up my reigns and trust others to help give him what he so desperately needs. In the beginning I cried all of the time but as time went on I realized this was a gift that we gave him. I am inspired by him and the changes he made. I did work on myself as well. Most of all it opened my eyes to how abused I was and how that was not ok. I am relieved and grateful to LRA for the changes they have helped my son make. He is growing to be a wonderful young man. It just goes to show that you can be a wonderful SPED. teacher but when it comes to your own child you can be way to close to the situation to see what needs to be done.

This year has had so many wonderful things happened. Despite a freaking pandemic, I've have some how made it to the other side being better than where I started. The biggest thing however, is that I learned how to DJ. Not only has this become a new skill to create a career around, but I've also gained an amazing mentor, a sliver of financial stability, and new found confidence and direction in my life that was completely missing about a year ago. I was at such a low point about a year ago, and I will forever be grateful for this opportunity that has totally turned my life around.

Having to be isolated because of Covid and difficult. My husband’s Parkinson’s has advanced education and I feel the need to speak to a friend in person. Although we have all been vaccinated it is still difficult to get together inside and talk. I am grateful that we are all healthy and able to function and have not gotten Covid. Everything else will come in time.

I found out I was pregnant! As of writing this, I am 24 weeks and 3 days. I am thrilled, excited, and a little nervous about all of the changes that being a mom will bring to my life!

Came down with active relatively fast acting--but not drug resistant tuberculosis--perhaps latent and undetected in my body for 30 years. This naturally reinforced awareness of privilege (and I tick every single box) through the perspective of bodily fragility. But it also provided new perspective given the oddity (in my geographical, class, race group) of the ailment, and the reactions in medium and broader circle. Learning the history and current situation--especially as treatment suffers from neglect worldwide as scant public health resources go to COVID. I am grateful, relieved, and oh, oh, oh so much angrier and guilt-ridden: feelings which are not as impactful as the disease (unsure of long term effects) and the treatment (for those who don't know, there's a reason why legal means are justifiably invoked to insure people take their full course of meds), but impact other behaviors. Plenty of vaccine, mask sceptics in my world, for example, but before I was lucky enough to get a hospital bed I could depend on myself to maneuver conversations safely. Now, I don't trust myself, and have cut off contact. 54 now. Is 5782 too late to be a year of growth after 50 years stuck at the same emotional age?

Husband took a job 1500 miles away and moved out. Said he was never coming back. Lasted three months. 1 1/2 Marley was with him there. First time on my own in over twenty four years. It was rough for two weeks then AWESOME! I was resentful, then RELIEVED!

I paid off the mortgage on the house. Such a relief after all these years.

I did not work for 9 months - from July 2020 to April 2021. I was laid off and then tried to get a job that I could do from home and where I wasn't the leader, and for the first time ever, I failed at that over and over. It was so hard. When I got vaccinated I went back to work, onsite, the director at another stressful job with lots of unvaccinated children and stressed out staff. Now, not then, I am glad to have been forced to leave the first job, and even to have stayed home instead of having to be vulnerable to COVID and especially unable to see my grandson or help care for my father.... and, I am still overwhelmed and disappointed to be in the same kind of job again. I have restarted several times in the last year, just trying to reset my thinking, to be aware and grateful for all the good in the midst of all the dark of this year. I have had times where I was doing well, especially with the help of meditation to notice my thoughts, and then faltered and sunk again. My grandson is the light for me - I am so thankful to have more time with him. I know other people care but I feel very alone most of the time, and embarrassed for not finding a way to feel better, do better, be better for myself and other people. I wonder if aging is always like this, or if the events of the last year have made it even harder. And - this is today. Some days, other days, I can honestly feel like being older is a pleasure, that I do know myself more, that I have learned to be gentler to myself and others. That there is plenty of amazing beauty to absorb every moment - music and nature and words and ideas. And that there could be things to look forward to that I just can't see yet.

The death of my mother due to COVID. I am still processing and experiencing her loss. I anticipated this day for a while, but what I didn’t anticipate is the transitional nature of the relationship. Yes, one aspect of our relationship is done, closed, and yet I am now experiencing Mom in new and unexpected ways. I imagine that will continue. And even as I grieve her departure from this shared life, I am learning to listen to the new ways that she is available to me, and to appreciate the gift of that experience.

This weekend I ran the Broncos 5K with my son. We also ran the family run (total of 5 miles for the two of us). We trained for a month. We exceeded all of our practice times. I was inspired through the connection made with our dedicated goal and time together, as well as the results of our race! So grateful to have a shared experience. It was the highlight of my year so far. I also finished my 7 year long MBA!

I submitted and defended my thesis! I am definitely relieved, that is the main emotion. But I am also very proud of myself.

Three things: 1) the transfer of the alt ed secondary school where I taught to the local school district that does not seem to understand how to best support the-risk youth who are often in acute crisis; 2) the continued deterioration of my 80-some mother leading to conflict w/ my siblings over her future.; and 3) settling into a new house we bought just over a year ago on an island off of an island in coastal British Columbia. I am resentful about the first two. Why initiate the transfer at all when the previous school district had worked with nonprofit partners and the community to create a program that was demonstrating success in making a difference in the lives of the city's most vulnerable youth? Why can't my siblings simply listen to what my mom is saying she wants instead of following the scripts in their heads which are based on their own anxieties and conveniences? I'm sorry to say that these resentments have not dissipated. They remain just under the surface whenever I peek just to see if they have somehow managed to slink off on their own. But, that constant, (now) low-grade, toothache-like throbbing has inspired me to more frequent practice of mindfulness and compassion building. And so, the pricking of those spines have prodded me to actively, frequently, and consciously embrace the gratitude about the third event--the house and the lifestyle where we have landed--that I may otherwise have allowed to recede into the background. So there's that.

I would say being confined to a small space for the good part of the last year has been significant. During and without lockdowns, I have generally decided to remain vigilant and conservative with how much I go out and have gone out during the pandemic. Hence the lens through which I have experienced the world, who I have interacted with, and what that has resulted in is very different. I have been away from any type of family for the last 1.5 years, missing several milestones and several other things. It's been a struggle at times, there have been periods of extreme fear and realisation that anything could happen and I would be far away from help, not even in my own country. In such a time, I learnt several coping mechanisms for which I am grateful and kept myself content in the belief in humanity. Even if I am far away from family, I rode on the belief that there are enough people who care that know me or will care for those who don't know me if anything was to happen. This belief has been extended seeing the collective effort of many around me supporting the most vulnerable in our communities.

Brother Mark died recently and suddenly, and my emotions run the gamut from sadness mixed with anger to resentment mixed with relief at the end of his suffering, then finally morphing into gratitude for all the moments we shared. Because it is so fresh I hope to allow myself time to grieve then come to an acceptance and find growth at the end of my pain.

My divorce to Michael was finally a done deal on July 16 2021. After 16 or so years of being separated I feel absolutely elated to have this in the rear view mirror. It almost feels like losing weight without dieting. I’m grateful that we came together and had our beautiful daughter and I truly wish him well. That said; I’m glad he’s not my husband anymore!!! Yay!!

I was laid off and was so elated to be free of the constraints I had thought I had to live within and had accepted for myself.

Very grateful for my good luck in putting together a superb team of session musicians for my upcoming recording project.

I was promoted to management, with a team of 10, at my office. I was flattered and inspired to lead our assistant pool in vision and attitude. I had ideas and was ready to be able to do something about our constructive feedback as a team. 2.5mo later, we all went home and stayed there. I've been largely grateful to have the role, and think I've managed to keep us in touch and feeling like a team over an uncertain and stressful year. But as business comes back and work ramps up, it's been particularly difficult to do the role. The Great Quit has affected our firm, too, and while it's lovely to be growing our administrative team again, I'm also being reminded that there is no one lower than assistants in our organization, and I'm feeling increasingly burned out with nowhere to turn.

Moving back to Europe—this time to Portugal—after living in the US from March 2020-April 2021. Grateful! Relieved! Challenged. Stretched. Eager. Curious. Expectant and open to the adventure.

We moved to Nj! I am grateful and relieved to have found an apt to rent that we like in a difficult market, grateful to be in a nice building with amenities, peace and quiet and to leave an uncomfortable situation in our old home, and grateful to be under contract to sell our home. I’m inspired to learn how to drive better so that I can travel independently since public transportation doesn’t feel like a safe option, inspired by the new apt, the top notch features and finishes, and to be able to apply a fresh design. I’m inspired to be more active in the upkeep and design of our home. It’s strange to no longer be a New Yorker after spending a lifetime in Brooklyn but it’s the right decision for this time in our lives.

a significant experience I would describe in the past year is coming home following my first year away at college. The first summer I had returning out of college, home was very tense. My parents and I got into frequent disagreements and arguments, and I would regularly find myself uncontrollably angry and unable to solve any issues. It seemed like every action I took only made matters worse, especially when I tried to help. This experience has made me more resentful of my parents, as i believe that I can understand their POV while they are unable to understand whats going on inside of me. This is not something I anticipate being better or easier anytime soon, so I sit here awaiting. In the meantime, I still try a little but not fully--they want a level of honesty which is simply impossible to give right now. This year I am still wildly uninspired when it comes to religion, and it may well be because as said previously, I do not go out and search for the inspiration. Regardless, I am in the same place I was previously--now what? how do i get better?

I haven’t had much of a significant year. I feel that it’s been one of the most significant of my life, but it’s as if the world has gone crazy around me and I’ve remained in my bedroom. I’ve barely left the house, partly due to lockdown but also even before that. That’s resulted in not a lot of memories to recall and I honestly have mixed emotions about feeling this way. I feel as if this question would be perfect for every other human being living through this momentous period of our lives, but not me. In this moment I feel insignificant and therefore everything I have done feels insignificant. I’m just going to sit with that for a while.

The continued COVID pandemic has made me feel discouraged, disappointed, and disgusted with society. With the availability of vaccines and the wealth of medical and scientific data, there isn't any reason we should still be stuck in this mess. I have been working remotely for the past full year since last RK and YK. I've put travel plans on hold. My daughter didn't have her Bat Mitzvah because she didn't feel engaged in holding it on Zoom. It feels as though COVID will be with us for long time ahead.

I received my first Covid vaccine in March 2021. I was so happy and thankful to the health professionals at the vaccination location (at a black church in LA). I told them I loved them-my first reaction.

Joe Biden was elected! I am deeply grateful and despite his mistake with Afghanistan, and even with the pandemic still raging, I believe he and his teammates will make progress. We have a long way to “ recovery”, but his heart is in the right place, and I believe his leadership will prevail.

I received a COVID vaccination. I immediately felt grateful, relieved, and hopeful. Now, with the resistance by some people in my community and country, I am feeling more and more resentful and weary from it all.

So I had a heart attack last November. When I read back on my 10Q question answers last year, I saw that that was a fear in the back of my mind. Little did I know it would actually happen two weeks later! In October Seth wanted to ask me to marry him at big bend national Park. It was a big secret and Victor and I were in on it. I was so excited! We were going to all drive there. I rode with Seth and Mia, and on the way we stopped off for a potty break in San Antonio. Rushing out of the car, I tripped and smashed my patella on the curb. Mia called 911 and soon and ambulance came and I believe even a fire truck came. Soon I was surrounded by about seven men in uniform. I remember screaming and saying why doesn’t this hurt more. There was a highway patrol officer holding me at the back and he said it’s probably adrenaline. I was west away to the San Antonio metropolitan Methodist hospital and received knee surgery there. It was a little scary being all by myself, but I didn’t want to mess up the engagement plans. I know my kids felt guilty leaving me there. While at the hospital, I called Sheila to see if she could care for me that next week until I went back to school. Periodically, I began having weird sensations in my arms and the tightness in my chest. I thought they were panic attacks because after a little while of watching TikTok‘s they’d seem to go away. That was over Halloween weekend. My wallet was stolen with my grandmothers diamond ring in it. I was pretty upset about that. Meanwhile Sheila came and picked me up, and I was relaxing at her house. But those “panic attacks” we’re happening more often. One day by the pool, it just never stopped. Sheila took me to the hospital in Cedar Park and I was rushed by ambulance again to Georgetown where there was a cardiac hospital. I had a double bypass and woke up in ICU. I was into baited and couldn’t speak for a day or two but I could hear everything the nurses were saying about me. They were talking about how my heart had stopped after the doctor had said me up. The doctor had to open me up again and massage my heart back to life. That was kind of shocking to me.

This year the most significant change for myself is that I decided to move to live next to a national park and take a job in heritage. I'm in an industry I care about, working for a company who's values I believe in, and am only working part time. Being able to go out and do things and be beautiful places has been a positive change in my life and feels like the right decision after we've all lacked stability in our lives thanks to COVID, and so many people just like me know what I mean as they will also have lost their jobs to lockdowns like I did. I feel more determined than ever to improve myself and gain greater skills. Being unemployed during 2020 was hard and while I am lucky to be so loved that I was able to depend on my friends when things got hard, I refuse to ever be in that position again, independence and happiness are my main goals at this time. But being entirely truthful, I do feel I missed out on opportunities and when left to my own devices can on occasion end up a little disappointed. - Though that's all the more reason to do even more to improve myself and my situation, as I hope to make up for past errors and set backs from unexpected challenges.

The pandemic is ongoing. We continue to live with the danger of COVID 19 and I think that it will be with us for a long time. The refusal of some in our population to believe in and follow the science has made me disgusted and resentful. It is painful to be aware of how truly uneducated we have become as a nation, and the pride people take in that status. It is also disgusting to realize how thoroughly parts of our government have conspired to continue to keep our population uneducated. I feel powerless.

I finally left the toxic company I was working for and got an awesome new job. I still work hard, but for a company with values that both align with my own, and are genuinely demonstrated across all levels of the business. I am so grateful, and when I think about it, I feel empowered to take control of my life and do scary things.

Jesus, it's been such a significant year. The two most significant events were probably getting married (wearing our masks to the courthouse, smizing as hard as I could, taking photos we didn't know would be instantly iconic, champagne on the back porch while opening presents, dinner delicious, surprise drinks from Stacey, too many more drinks back home lol) and getting vaccinated (Marina bursting in the door to tell me she can get an appointment, the wide open Javits Center, constant flow of people but nurses happy to be giving out lifesaving shots, sitting there waiting for it to kick in with everyone around on cell phones, sighing deeply and thanking everyone profusely as I left).

This year was the first year that I had people close to me and in my bubble of people that I know die. The first was a girl that I worked with Maria who died of septic completely randomly and out of the blue. I remember being invited to a meeting and being worried that I was being made redundant only to find out that that happened. I don't know if it was the shock but I decided to take the day off work. I vegged out in front of the couch watching Emily in Paris on Netflix and eating a million chicken nuggets from McDonald between recitation of Akal and crying. I felt terrible for her husband and her very young daughter. I also started to realise that life is so short to be hung up on bull shit. The second death I experienced was much more closer to home. It was my uncle who suddenly passed away from the stroke. His death was much more significant as it was the first time I went to funeral. The first time I starred at the pine box and thought that the remains and physical form where inside. Since then I've realised that life too fucking short to lay around and be depressed all the time. I'm lucky to still be here and still be blessed to have air in my lungs which is why my plan is to start doing all the things that I've missed and make the most of the time I have left.

When I first came across this question, I had difficulty thinking of a single significant experience. It has been a blur of a year, very quick, lots happening while feeling like nothing at all is happening, lots of time spent working at home and dreading what is outside. I've had a lot of inertia, difficulty getting going out the house even when things are less unsafe. But when I interrogate my thought more, it becomes clear that there have been so many significant experiences -- adopting a dog, finishing my master's thesis / getting out from under my abusive ex-advisor, driving halfway across the country for the first time. I'll focus on adopting Peanut, because he has been the single biggest injection of joy into my life (some anxiety too, which has been instructive rather than compounding on my other anxieties). I am so grateful to have met this dog, who I was not initially thinking was the "perfect" dog or didn't look like what I imagined, but that things did turn out where I got to know this absolute goofball of a pup who is currently squeaking his pile of toys in a patch of sun in the room. I'm not sure whether he brings energy or takes it away, but that's not really the question of the hour. He has brought me a lot of joy and love and laughter and fulfilled something in my life I wanted for a very long time. Much better than an actual child is a fur-child, in my opinion, at least for this time of my life (and long after).

My sister-in-law died this spring. After 6 years the cancer finally won. She fought it tooth and nail, ferociously, angrily raging against the unfairness of it and the people she blamed for contributing to her getting cancer. She also jammed as much living out loud into her life until about the last ten months, when the cancer itself and the treatment side effects intensified and left little to no time or energy for anything else. She was demanding, bordering on intolerant, in living how she wanted and expected others to accommodate her, and, yes, I judged her for it. To be clear, we got on really well. We had become friends since her divorce, finalized just before her diagnosis, and could call out each other's bullsh*t or agree to disagree. I couldn't wrap my brain around why she continued to devote all that energy into rehashing past hurts when she had this huge challenge to deal with here and now, why she wouldn't be just a little more tolerant of the people around her now, why she wouldn't put that energy toward something "positive." At first when she would bring up the execrable ex-husband, for example, I would try to convince her to let it go, put that energy toward the good, etc. Her eyes would go flat, and I knew I had to detach my "not getting it" from our relationship. It wasn't her responsibility to enlighten me, and I being an evangelist for the power of positive thinking wasn't what she needed. Agree to disagree with a touch of "I know better". Afterward, during the weeks of going through her house, her personal and work files, her workshop, her clothes, the accumulation of what were now artifacts of her life, is when it hit me: how justified she was in her anger. I was sorting through the physical evidence of a life unfinished, cut woefully short by a miserable disease. It took physically handling her private and personal possessions to make the unfairness suddenly, palpably, viscerally real to me. To see that the anger is what drove her to keep going for as long and as hard as she did, to not waste an opportunity to go places she hadn't been, and to be the cool aunt to my daughter for as long as possible, until she couldn't anymore and to express the rage at that. She was utterly justified in her anger, and I had no right to judge her for it. I feel ashamed for judging her. I miss her a lot, both for myself and especially my daughter. I hope I can take up some of her formidableness and her ability to give a metaphorical middle finger to those in her path. (I used have a lot more of that badassery.)

I adopted Calli (aka Calliope). She has changed my world. I’ve learned so much about dogs , love and compassion and feel grateful for her every day.

In January, my cat Stinker died. I was absolutely devastated, and in the small and quiet moments in the dead of night I still am 9 months on. I had to fight just to convince myself to eat for months. I did get myself back into therapy briefly, and had my first experience of not liking a therapist enough to continue with them. I am finally to the point where I'm not absolutely falling apart, but I haven't found good coping mechanisms quite yet. It turns out my jumpiness and 0-60 in 10- ness wasn't just me being sensitive, it's been generalized anxiety and CPTSD that had been controlled by a pet rather than medication. I now have rescue anxiety meds, which is helpful in extreme circumstances. But I miss him so so terribly, especially now that I have two students who have the name of my abuser. It's hard. It's going to continue to be hard, I know.

2 significant experiences are both my dad & my former died. Both deaths affected me deeply in different ways. it;'s always sad when a parent dies, but it does feel like the natural order of things. Normal negative feelings are also complicated by fact i inherited a great deal of $, and i wrote a song about my dad and have sung it before a large audience. As for my ex-husband I have survivor guilt because he sacrificed a lot in our divorce settlement.

Last September and October our entire county endured weeks of wildfire smoke, sometimes to the point where ash was falling from above and the sky was red. Some of these fires were close to home; others were in California. It was a visible sign of climate change. We are seeing it again (to a lesser degree, thank goodness) this early fall so far. I obviously don't like it, and it's frightening, but I do think it's a good wake-up call for those who don't believe in climate change as something that can and will affect them. It's something that will affect us all. And I realize it's not something I think we should merely be trying to arrest, as hard as that is, but also something we should be trying to reverse.

I left my well-paying job without a job lined up because they expected me to peddle misinformation regarding the climate crisis. I'm pretty grateful l did as the job was making me miserable, and I found a better job within a month. Plus I basically got a month's holiday.

Taking my oldest to college. It was almost unbearable for the first week. I felt a giant sense of emptiness, and loss of center. Even with that, I was grateful to see her taking this giant step towards adulthood. And I'm aware that it's my job to develop a life that isn't centered around my kids quite so much.

The most significant experience I had was in June when a close friend of mine, Joe Gentile, was killed in a motorcycle accident. That shook my world and I haven’t been able to fully get past it. I was shocked and angry, but I’ve also felt blessed to have had Joe in my life for the past 20 years or so. He was a good man and I hope to embrace Joe’s ability to live life to its fullest.

My doctors found a cancerous tumor in my bile duct and I had to have stomach surgery and chemotherapy. I am grateful the tumor was in a place that caused significant symptoms so that the doctors explored further. Otherwise I might not be here right now. I am also grateful that the surgeon was able to remove all the cancer, and all of my scans are negative. I have been blessed by the support of family and friends far and wide. This has been a year of gratitude.

We bought a Peloton! I previously thought I was quite active having been a member of the gym for years but after starting Joe Wicks at the beginning of lockdown and then getting our Peloton I am now the fittest I’ve probably ever been. Completing a five hour climb ride after working through a regular training programme was definitely proof of this! I’m extremely grateful and aware of how privileged I am to have been able to buy this (even though bought on finance) and having the time (especially now I’m working at home the majority of the time) and space in our home to have this. Love the Peloton, the community and the opportunity it provides me especially at a time when it was difficult to be able to exercise in ways I would have done previously.

I started a new role within the same organisation I already work for, better job for me and less hours. It's been a game changer. Very grateful that I can afford to work part time as have had time to pursue voluntary work such as climate activism and community support as well as more time to exercise and do fresh, healthier zero waste/refill shopping (which can be time consuming). Leaving my weekends more free for socialising with those I love. The gained hours have inspired me so much that I have even signed up to a two year Diploma one day a week, having not studied for years. Am hoping to become qualified in chaplaincy work. Goodbye to socialising, maybe!?

We have been out to our favorite restaurant, which due to covid may not happen again for a while. It was very delicious and nice. Also great to get to know a co-worker of J”my wife’s.

The most significant experience of the past year for me was deciding on a new job. I joined my current role (soon to be old job) because I wanted to explore different career options. I applied for a few jobs, did not get them, and then put off applying for anymore for a while. I then considered studying more and even applied to a couple of courses, but ultimately decided to prioritise earning more money. After spending 5 years as a full-time student, and then in a minimum wage job I decided to pursue my career rather than further education. I've never prioritised earning money before, but ultimately I spent 5 years working incredibly hard in order to be able to have a career which would allow me to do things like move out of my parents and buy my first home, travel and run a car. In two weeks I'm starting a new role that will give me enough money to do all of those things. I'm glad I decided to step out of my comfort zone and push myself career wise, education is my safety net. Funnily enough my new job is actually in the education sector. Also wouldn't have been able to apply for said new job without passing my driving test!

In June, I had an ectopic pregnancy. This was my second pregnancy and we were hoping to give our two year old daughter a sibling. I am devastated and I am still grieving almost three months later. We can try again in a few weeks and I’m truly terrified. I am hoping we are either pregnant or have another sweet baby this time next year.

I am home and although life is very different from before I feel very grateful for what I have

I discovered mindfulness and have attended Simply Being mindfulness circle for almost the whole year ( on zoom). It has opened the door to self compassion, self understanding, self acceptance and self discovery. It had also helped me see what I still need to work on- such as feeling safe sharing my vulnerability with others.

Losing my first trial and then facing that sentencing was extremely difficult for me. It made me feel like I had no power and had failed and was working in a broken system. I have cried and learned from it and understood the broken system.

In the past year, I got pregnant and had our son, right before Rosh Hashana. Pregnancy, birth, and now the postpartum period and the beginning of parenthood, has been the most intense experience of my life. I am so profoundly grateful for this little dude, who is a joy and a wonder - my heart just explodes with love every time I see his face. But it is also so hard. I totally did not anticipate how hard breastfeeding was going to be. And sometimes I resent my husband, even though he's been so helpful, just because he doesn't have to experience any of the physical pain that I have throughout this whole process - pregnancy pains, c-section recovery, and now breastfeeding with a kid who is having trouble latching. I feel like as women we are sold this idea that things that are "natural" are supposed to be easy, and they aren't always. I'm currently pumping milk as I type this, trying to keep up my supply. I hope by next year I look back on this time from the perspective of it being so much easier. It's hard to imagine right now. But he is so worth it. I love him with all my being.

CIT summer. Nothing more to say.

Certainly the birth of Ethan is the most significant experience of the past year in that he is my first grandchild and it is the first opportunity I have had to watch one or my children and their partner parent. I am deeply, deeply grateful, relieved that he and they are healthy and happy, resentful that their new parenting experience is so limited due to the pandemic and the resistance to vaccination by others that would open up their lives more. I am inspired, hopeful, excited and so very deeply grateful to be able to witness this and be a part of his life.

Realized I need to look at life not as black and white, rather shades of grey. I need to embrace the fact that life is not like math. Also Judaism does not have one set of absolute answers. I am grateful because it means I can move forward positively on my spiritual and personal quest.

We bought and moved into our dream house. I’m still grateful every time I walk through the door. I’m relieved that it’s ours and we get to take care of it. I’m inspired to move here full time.

My mother passed away in June. She was almost 88 and suffering from dementia. Having a parent die is a game-changer in terms of the way you view your own mortality. While, on the one hand, I was relieved that my mother died before dementia completely robbed her of who she was; on the other, the end marks any opportunity to change our relationship for the better, to try to learn more of her story. In some ways, the onset of dementia comprised a little death, the erosion of the person I knew down to a few basic elements. Thankfully, she still remembered my father, sister, and me, as well as most of the people who were significant to her. But her world became increasingly limited to the deep past and the immediate present, and her personality flattened out as her interests narrowed. I fear being in that position, losing so much of myself years before I die.

I worked at a job where I had to be up at 5:30AM. I am grateful and I understand now how much more you get done when you work mornings!

In July, I ran 10 kilometers. I had dreamed of running a 10k for years, and finally committed to following through this year as part of my Duke of Ed award for the physical recreation section. I created a detailed plan with all my guided runs mapped out for 10 weeks. It was an incredibly fulfilling experience, as it happened naturally and spontaneously. I had planned to run only 7k; however, feeling enthused and relaxed, I continued running. The kilometers passed by as I imagined in my head that I was running a race and my family and friends were cheering me on. In the end, I had actually run 11k-- 5 more kilometers than the farthest distance I had run before. This experience demonstrated a lot of growth, discipline and commitment. It was also incredibly rewarding to finish my final section of the award and to receive my Duke of Ed bronze. This experience also impacted me personally, as it demonstrated how I could accomplish great things that most people only dream about. It is an experience that will continue to empower me.

I helped get voters registered and request MIB for them. It was inspiring and hopeful.

Met the love of my life, spent nine months together, and then suddenly broke up with me as he turned 30 and thinks he has to figure out if or how he will be ready for marriage or something as serious as that would be for our relationship. oof. still recovering from that one (3 weeks later at this point). all of the above emotions apply: i'm grateful that I finally experienced what it feels like to truly be in head-over-heels love; relieved that I know that I'm not the only person who's ever felt their heart broken (hello, every sad song and movie ever, I finally understand you); resentful that I thought that was going to be "the one", and even more so that I have to go through all this awful miserable heartbreak stuff again and again as I continue to search for love; inspired...well less so. but I know that I'll find it again (like everyone says), it just sucks. WHY ME. I thought maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have to go through this (although the fact that I thought I was special and somehow excluded from the universal commiseration from heartbreak does not elude me). I know that I will come out of this a stronger person and that I'll love again and in a few months/years I'll look back on it blah blah blah, but goddamn is this tough. I keep thinking to myself, the human condition is SO strange: we deliberately make ourselves miserable, absolutely miserable, can't-eat-can't-sleep miserable, for the chance of being loved by someone else. What other concepts would be as commonly accepted as that? What other species does that?? nevertheless, this was definitely a significant experience of my past year. looking forwards to 5782 with even more growth.

Diagnosis of chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) in April. I'm a bit angry since I feel fine and have had this since 2018 w/o knowing it. Fortunately, I'm in stage 0-1 so don't require medications or chemo. What a kick in the slats.

I realized that I didn't like my own business. It was doing fine, but it wasn't appealing to the things that made my heart sing or that make me who I am. It made me feel lost, envious (those whose businesses seem so focused) and a bit sad, but in the end it was what needed to happen. It was the first step toward looking at how to create a business that is based on who I am today AND who I'm becoming, rather than exclusively on what I can do.

In November 2020, I was faced with the choice of returning in-person to work to teach simultaneously (in-person students and students at home learning virtually through e-learning) or to quit teaching altogether. I chose the latter. The COVID-19 vaccine was not yet available and I was still quite wary of contracting the virus or unintentionally being a vector and exposing or infecting others. I had two days to make this decision and had 3 months of savings and no plan on how to generate income after this. Johnny was incredibly supportive and whole-heartedly agreed but left the decision entirely up to me. It was a huge relief and many students' parents reached out to me commending me for taking the risk and commiserating the loss of quality instruction. This past year taught me that taking risks can be worth it and to appreciate the supportive people around you.

We bought a house. I am overcome with joy...it is just right for our family. Close to son's school, close to the beach. I am so grateful. (I also am overwhelmed as it needs a lot of work, but I'm happy to do it)

My daughter became engaged. This made me very happy.

I had my second child, Aryelle. Bought a house. MAde a new friend in Candice, I think. Having Aryelle caused me to really put a lot of effort, extreme effort, to avoid being fearful, especially with the birth process. It was very good and most probably th ehardest thing ever concerning self-control. I have not continued this habit to my dismay, and would like to take it up again. Iam neccessetated to, to be an honourable mother and ambassador of God. We bought a house which felt like an impulsive decision, though it was in a few ways a revelation of what God had in mind for us from the beginning. I am grateful, and empowered to make my house a mikdash me'at. Grateful that Aryelle was born healthy and perfect! and beautiful and graceful and joyuos. Relieved that the birth was over - very relieved. Resentful that I was in hospital over pesach instead of with my son and husband - felt like I had failed to give birth and be with them in our new house with our new baby on Pesach, new year. Was in active labour for 9 hours but did not dilate. I still need to recognize that it was all for the best. Inspired by her, who keeps her cool and acts very respectful towards her son and husband and family and extended family. I am inspired to do the same and yet, if honest, resentful, utter shock for its realisation, that I am not respectful, and fail misourably in that respect even though I have no excuse and have the same power that raised Christ from the dead though I still scold my husband and son and speak lashon hara.

I had the best professional experience of my career during the past year, on a 9-month, part-time consulting project. I did work that was meaningful, with people I really enjoyed, and received enormous satisfaction, as well as appreciation for a job well done. It had been years since I had experienced any of that, and it reminded me of what I am capable of, and the possibilities the future can hold. I am immensely grateful to have had this experience, especially during a time that was so fraught career-wise for so many people.

Losing my cat Baxter made me feel like a harder and less capable person, less capable of unconditional love. He had a pretty happy life overall and when I think of my role in it I have no major regrets. His death was hard but deaths are often hard. When the mourning and day to day missing him subsided I felt diminished. His presence always gave me a lift and helped me continue to believe in some basic goodness in the world. I still believe in it but in an abstract way that doesn't affect me personally. People say I should get another cat, and I'm resistant to it. I do think the things I mentioned might be cured or helped by having another cat around. But there's still a part of me that's very angry at losing Baxter and it doesn't want me to sign up to eventually lose another cat. That's a defensive and angry part of me that concentrates on the bad parts of things and ignores the good parts of things and I don't want that to be the part of me that makes decisions like this. I think being aware of it hopefully helps with not being overly driven by it. But I haven't overcome this yet. It's been six months which not that long a period but also not that short. The feeling of hardness spreading out and taking over areas that had the capacity for softness fits in with the dimming of other possibilities in my life. A friendship lost isn't just a connection with one person ended, it's the feeling of the potential for making more friends becoming dismal and turgid. It's the feeling that I am erasing in great wide sweeps of my arms without regard for the terrible amount of time it took to create.

Shavuot, my house transitioned out of being in Covid times and out of podding. It was a bittersweet moment. Of course I was happy to spend time with other people and feel like my opportunities were opening up, but it was all tinged with regret that my house wasn't continuing forward in its iteration of caring for each other, living with love and responsibility towards each other..Shavuot was a very immediate cut off time, and it was jarring to have such an immediate shift. We [all of us, but my house specifically, too] could have spent the entire month of May/Tamuz just processing the pandemic.

It's incredible how little of the significant experiences I can refer back to this day. I feel like the year was largely wasted. The pandemic took a lot of space in our lives. But also, I did nothing of the things I imagined I would do. If there is anything near a significant experience. It is, just how little I am able to achieve, How fear can control your actions, how it is easier to do the thing that doesn't get you anywhere near what you dream of and how little I resemble the person I wish I were. I am ashamed to work without focus and to be surrounded by people who do not inspire me and make me feel absolutely drained.

I went back to working full time. I was running out of money and the timing of the offer was perfect. I have never felt so grateful. One week I didn’t have enough money and two weeks later, I was ahead of the game. Amazing.

My Aunt Ann died. It was tragic and sad. She had altzheimers for years. She was my mother's sister 11 months her senior and they were very close. It led my mother to dip deep into her own denial and blaming, childhood coping skills that seem to predominate during times of stress. We were scheduled to visit Ann at the end, but she beat us to it. So we zoomed into her funeral and stayed with my Uncle for those days instead. For me, it was great to reconnect with my cousins and hard to see how small my Uncle's and, by association, my Mother's worlds were. I have found myself struggling to find meaning in this stage of life and ways to connect with my Mother. This has been a very sad realisation for me.

I started a new job in October, shortly after the High Holy Days last year. It was after a rough transition out of my last steady job, and this new job has been so impactful for me. I'm working at a wonderful organization with wonderful people who not only value me but give me the chance to provide ideas, create new projects, and take ownership of things. It's made me extremely grateful after leaving a toxic work environment.

I had my daughter. I’ve been planning and trying for years and she finally arrived. The timing seemed insane but also perfect and I couldn’t be happier to have her here with me to start this next big adventure.

Last May, when i was talking with my boyfriend about the future, he said that he wasnt able to be with me everyday. That answer made me very unconfortable and for 2 months, i thought on ending this relationship because i felt that i wasnt enough for him to change. after giving him some thought, i realised that me too, i wasnt prepared to live with him in Lisbon, in my house or anywhere else. Felt relieved, got some peace of mind, talked with him about that and how these words affected me and the future of our relationship.

I retired!! June 3rd, 2021 - my last day of work! I am SO grateful to be able to take advantage of the fantastic pension system I paid into all these years. Any ambivalence I feel stems from feeling as if I had been phoning it in these last number of years - yes, especially this past year, but honestly, even before that. I've been lazy and skating by. I did not do right by many of my students.

I spent a week at home, splitting my time with my parents, who are both in their 70’s. As I get older, these moments are few and far between but mean so much to me. I don’t want to take a second of it for granted.

One of the most significant experiences in the past year was losing my dear friend Ted to pancreatic cancer. Our birthdays were 5 days apart and we called each other every year over the miles and the passage of time. I knew Ted since elementary school and through junior high and high school. We went to different colleges and I moved from our hometown but we always stayed in touch. No matter how much time went by, when we saw or spoke to one another it was never awkward- we picked up where we left off without missing a beat. I missed that call from Ted on my birthday this year and there will always be a hole in my heart. I miss my dear friend. Since we were the same age it has introduced more thoughts of my mortality. It reminds me to live every day fully, because it might be your last, and to hold close those that you love and let them know what they mean to you. I know Ted loved me and I know Ted knew I loved him. That gives me peace and comfort.

My Mom was diagnosed with cancer this past year and it made me feel very grateful that she got amazing care and is healing well. I was lucky to be able to go down and help her during some challenging times. I'm inspired by her courage and strength and resilience. This is her third bout with cancer and she took it like a champ, especially during these challenging times of Covid.

I think the biggest thing that happened to me this year was leaving my job at JumpSpark to attend graduate school. This is a huge change for me -- I uprooted my life in Atlanta to move to the Boston area and started something completely new. As I am currently in this moment of transition, just starting school and beginning to build my community here, I am feeling excited and hopeful for what's to come.

Completed my Literacy specialist degree this year. It has taught me more about me as a student, teacher and colleague. It has inspired me to work with students more at their level and use strategies to improve their literacy skills.

Being ready to address my eating and weight has been significant this year. For the first time, I have dropped 10 pounds slowly and steadily. The process that took off the weight is a life style choice I am living with almost daily. I have rejoined a health club and feel committed to meeting with a trainer. It makes me feel good and I am grateful to have finally reached this point. I began trying to lose weight in 8th grade but was never successful for more than a few days.

Blair was born this year. Grand baby #10. I wonder what the world will be like for this tiny human when she is my age, 63. So many voices in the world right now predicting climate, economic and political collapse. Will we be able to right the ship?

I had shoulder surgery and I learned which people in my life were there for me and my husband and which people were only slightly in my life. I learned to be very grateful for my husband who took such loving care of me and for my true friends. Gratitude is the word of this past year.

I am so grateful that my child had such a powerful fifth grade teacher, and that he was able to bond with her despite remote learning. I'm so grateful for how his (public) school handled Covid last year. I am apprehensive about him starting middle school this fall -- and hope to love that school as much as I've loved the one he just graduated.

Getting hired at Starbucks. I'm grateful that I met my coworkers and that I have something besides school and games currently. It also shows me humanity and how bad retail can be.

My mother committed suicide…on my birthday. I am heart broken. I’m hurt and sad and angry. And the part I feel guiltiest about: a little relieved, because now she can’t hurt me anymore.

Covid continued to foul up our lives. It canceled what would have been my last High School reunion, just as of yesterday. It cost us an Australia and NZ trip of a lifetime. So I am grumpy. Yet - we will still have a gathering of our 3 kids plus sweeties for a family reunion up where my High School one was planned, and that is a rare occasion in itself. I have had 12 flights this year, so Covid no longer keeps me off a plane.

Last year, on 9/3, I had surgery for a ruptured appendix. The doctor said typically the recovery is just a few days. I was in the hospital for 15 days... my white blood cell count just wouldn't go down, indicating I was fighting infection. I had to have another procedure about midway through my stay, and finally, after being checked every morning, my count was low enough to let me go home. The recovery was much longer than a few days. I stayed with my sisters for the first few days, because I live alone, but I couldn't sleep on their futon, so I begged to go home. I couldn't step into my bathtub shower easily, so my sister came over every day for week to help me shower. After that, I was able to do it on my own. For two months, I had no appetite - I could eat a few bites, but that was it. I had a hard time drinking water, because I felt Thanksgiving day full all the time. Eventually, I would wake in the night starving. But once I was up in the daytime, I was full again. I forced myself to eat more and more. It scared me, I'm fat, I've never had a hard time eating. In addition to always feeling full, I was bloated, and I got hemorrhoids, which I'd never had before. I was a mess. My goal was to be able to eat Thanksgiving dinner. And I made it. About two weeks prior, I finally ate a full meal, (still just one a day, but more than I had been eating.) I felt less bloated, and I started driving again - independence to go to the store on my own! Eating more than broth and Boost! It made me realize how I had taken the ability to eat and to just be for granted.

This year Derrick and I adopted our first pet, our adorable cat Noches. I am so grateful and filled with love for him. He is very easy to take care of, he doesn’t cause much trouble (other than biting the SHIT out of our wrists when we play,) and he brought a sense of lightness and joy to our home that was hard to muster with just the two of us. It’s been a very hard year in other aspects, and having a little kitty to come home to has given both of us a renewed sense of purpose and personal responsibility.

Back in June I had a colonoscopy that I had been putting off for any number of reasons, such as no one to take me to and from the procedure. My number one biggest excuse. It affected me in that this time they found like nine polylopes, two were large and pre cancerous. Made me feel like I could have been living on borrowed time. Nancy told me her husband waited too long and died of colon cancer. I had some survivors guilt because I did the same thing and lived. Am I grateful? Yes, definitely. Am I relieved? Yes, the prep was torture. Resentful? No. Inspired? Yes.

Having spent over a month in Mexico during the height of the pandemic was fantastic. It was like living a dream in the eye of a storm. While the world ravaged around us, I was having a wonderful, relaxed, and happy time. Like most people around me at the Mexican Riviera where the numbers of covid were much better than the rest of the world. I mostly feel grateful that I had this experience. With my wife. I also feel inspired that it is possible to turn most of my anxiety off for me. Something I thought was not possible. At the same time I was also devastated for all the suffering of my family friends and everyone in my home and chosen countries and around the world. The question asked for "a" and not the "most" significant experience. In terms of a life-changing event, I would have to call moving back to California it. It produced a lot of emotions. Hopeful for reconnecting with my children, who live here. I was half successful as the time I spend with my younger one is mostly wonderful, but the older one resents me even more if possible. On the other hand, my stepchildren are having the time of their lives, which is wonderful to witness. Meanwhile, right now we, my wife and I, are still without new jobs so that's a bit stressful as we need more income to live here. On the plus side, yesterday we finally managed to rent a house. 

I feel like I leveled up in some way. There wasn’t an encounter or event, or anything that makes a good story. I decided one day that keeping up with social media and the 24-hour news cycle was using up precious resources for me, so I deleted some apps. I experienced several months of sadness and then resentment at how suddenly alone and invisible I was, once I stopped vying for attention. And then just as suddenly all of that was gone. I feel like I’ve gained new skills in coping, and forgiveness, and patience. I feel stronger for it.

In April this year, around 4am two young lads turned up at our (empty) workplace, in our sleepy little village. Then they each took out a semi-automatic rifle, and proceeded to pepper the door, walls and windows with many many bullets. All caught clearly on my neighbours webcam. The police turned up, dug out the bullets, studied the footage, but nothing came of it. Total mystery to everyone, including us. The police reckon it was mistaken address- maybe intended as a warning to a rival drug gang- apparently it had all the hallmarks of that. My neighbor was extraordinarily pleased with the webcam shooting footage, and put it on the internet. Ironically, that was more disruptive than having the workshop riddled with bullets! Important clients dropped us (but later came back, cos dammit, we do very good work!) People who don't know us were suspicious 'no smoke without fire' was their thinking I guess. Journalists were pestering us, it made the evening news. They tried to make a story that it was some kind of 'war of the costume makers' due to us making costumes for TV. They tried to make a story out of me being an English expat (fucking Brexit!) The first weekend we must have had 50 tourists driving by slowly and taking photos. We still get people coming to gawk several months later. There's nothing to see, but that doesn't stop them gawking. Funnily enough, all our neighbors behaved very warmly to us, 'Ah, of course it was a mistake, who'd want to shoot you?' Lots of people are friendly now, people who previously hadn't said good morning in seven years. It's changed my perspective. Those bullets easily ripped right through plate glass, solid wood, thick walls. If I'd been there I'd have been dead in an instant, no question. It made me realize that every day is a blessing, and life could be taken away in a heartbeat.

I bought a house. This is the biggest commitment I have ever made in my life. It is also the biggest change in maybe 25 years. I am terrified. I know I should be happy and excited, but I can't seem to peel back the anxiety enough to allow that. I keep telling myself, I deserve this, I have worked hard for this, this is all in Hashem's plan for me and it will all be OK. Creating a life for myself that I could only have dreamed of before is so uncomfortable, but wow what a great way to start the New Year. I am grateful that I am letting Hashem guide the way; I couldn't have done this without him.

Going to a festival. Very grateful, it was fun. I would like to go to more.

On October 19th, 2020 I moved to a whole new state not knowing much about what there was to offer. Not only that, but I didn’t know anyone there. I moved because I needed a new start and I needed to focus more on myself which over the past year has shown me more obstacles and hardships than positive and uplifting experiences. I’ve spent a majority of the past year feeling like I made the wrong decision and that this isn’t where my life is meant to be. Why would I think otherwise, right? Well, I’m giving it a chance. I made a promise to myself to see the beauty even in the chaos. Despite having days where I want to pack up all my belongings and leave I also have days that make me curious to know what is out there that I am missing. What has this state not shown me yet? What have I been to oblivious to see?

This year it was my dad's turn to need assistance. It became apparent that his memory was failing and he was not able to live alone. My brother and I jumped into action about Thanksgiving time last year and by May 18th we had sold his house and packed his belongings after 22 years in his AZ home. We made a 5-day road trip to ID where my dad would stay with my brother for the summer. After a trip down to CA, we found a lovely Assisted Living facility in Upland and he moved in on August 27th. This has been a journey of discovery and reconnection. I had not spent this much time with my dad or brother, since I was in high school over 40 years ago. We were able to work together and take care of business in a loving way. It is a relief to have my dad close by, being well taken care of and happy in his new location.

My high school boyfriend contact me. Actually, his friend contacted me, told me he was in the hospital, and asked me to call him. And I did. But just like others in my past life, he only wanted me to forgive and comfort him. I resented that and ended contact. I deserve better than to spend the rest of my life helping other people feel better when they're sick or dying after they injured me and never helped me.

This year I did a family constellation regarding the relation between me and my father who passed away when I was 5 years old. One of the things I learned was that all my life I've been waiting for him to correct me on my destructive behavior. Second thong I've learned is that he has got my back, even though he's not around. He stands behind me and my son stands before me. This affected me in a way to stand clearer in my own life. I can now observe my emotions when they come to surface and I can relate them to my past. To the love I've missed when I was young, in relation to my parenting over my own son. I am grateful to have learned this. I felt relieved the moment these insights came to me. These things inspired me to live from vision. This is who I am now. Yes, I have scars. But they don't affect my decision making anymore. I feel much more free.

Grief continues. It’s not the heavily weighted fog. I did have two more loses on top of the first two. My aunt, Hazel, the oldest of my moms siblings. And my son, I’m still processing my feelings around Jason’s death. Grief, loss, rock bottom.

We are preparing to build a new home. We worked with architects to create a design, and are now waiting for our permits to be approved. The biggest change in this for me is that I am doing this with my partner, which took a lot of trust building and difficult communication. I am proud of how much we have grown together. I am grateful that, with his partnership, I am able to what I could not do on my own.

Among the many to chose from, I would say doing the Organization of American Historians podcast on the response of American churches and synagogues to the Spanish Flu Pandemic--it was truly a pandemic project, not just in when it took place and what it was about, but in accomplishing a research project within the limitations of the pandemic. Feeling grateful for the opportunity, and inspired to do much more with this research.

In September/October 2020 I had multiple PEs on both lungs. I was very lucky that Dr C (GP) decided to check my D-dimer level so the blood clots were discovered. I'm very grateful to him for that. Very grateful. I was in hospital for seven weeks, first with the PEs and then various complications and mystery illnesses that almost killed me. I was scared. I felt ashamed that my faith didn't stop me from being afraid of dying, but I still haven't found a way to talk about this with anyone from church. I have just been in hospital again for 6.5 weeks, this time initially with my asthma, but then with a pseudomonas chest infection. It also transpires that the blood clots from last year have caused left sided heart failure, plus I have two problems with the electrics of my heart - Left Bundle Branch Block and Long Q-T. I haven't had a chance to process all this just yet, but at the minute I feel a bit scared, unsure, apprehensive...

Wow. The most significant experience was a total hip replacement. This is life changing. Reading last year's responses, I was so depressed at not being able to be myself, to move, to walk. Now 8 weeks past surgery and I'm already walking more than I could 18 months ago. I have so much more energy to give to my life and the world.

The most significant thing has been living with Danna and it has been wonderful. She is amazing and we are doing well. I so want to make her happy and feel like things are going well. I also think at work, I have grown as a calm boss and have done a good job in a tough time VT has been a shitshow but the new CEO is wonderful and Tony has made his bed. I think things are going fine and Iwill help as I can

The most significant experience was that I stopped everything that I was doing for a few months for no real reason . I’m happy to be back on track with online yoga @hovyoga and meditation and writing . I believe I needed that break only to appreciate where I am now . I haven’t spent a lot of time outside which I felt guilty about now realizing that it’s ok . I appreciate what I have and feel everything happened the way it was supposed to

Year events: Brows micro bladed, Apprenticeship of the Sacred Wild, BLM movement, dated Carlos and explored a long distance relationship with Drew, visited SLC and Park City, Covid tests, moved out of LA (was in the Santa Monica bungalow with Anisa through Nov) to move in with sis in at her spot in Costa Mesa, Sage Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy Training Program, broke up with Drew, applying for psychedelic-assisted therapy jobs (Sage, Field Trip, MindBloom), starting groundwork for Sheila private practice, mom’s platelets dropping and health scares, ladies trip at Lake Arrowhead (Sarah, Alex, Anisa + Panther, Taylor and Marisa), started therapy with Marlene (IFS). So much has happened. My moving out of LA to live with my sister has been a significant experience. It was a relief to be with her after my experience living with Anisa soured a bit when she had Aaron over constantly. I enjoyed having such a great, comfortable space and Doc here and sis to do stuff with. It has changed and we have definitely had our ups and downs. Mostly, I feel that it is more challenging to live with her. We are different people and she inhibits me and I her. I need my quiet time away from her and she probably needs the same. I’m resentful of how she sometimes makes me feel and how this space feels more like hers and not shared. We have had fights and she has offered to go to therapy together but I know that she just said that to keep me happy and smooth things over. I don’t feel she is interested in talking. She doesn’t like to talk…and so I feel it’s time to think about what is next for me. Where will I go? Where will I get a job? Where will I live? How will I find my tribe? It’s all challenging but we keep taking things day by day. I hope when I move I don’t cause any hard feelings. I hope we can still be close and I hope her life isn’t negatively affected by my moving out.

I suspect that most of us will say that the Plague that has encompassed the planet was the main event of all our lives. My resentment is for and with the selfish, deluded people who refused to shorten the life of this virus and in ding do shortened the lives of so many people. I expect to remain angry at them for as long as it lasts and to wish them no specific harm, but to hope they get what they are so viciously asking for.

I found a new job. I am making more money than I ever have and also learning completely new skills. I am better at this new job than I imagined I would be, so I am grateful, relieved, and finding a renewed self-confidence.

Grateful everyone is relatively healthy, especially our disabled son Jared. Every day with him a challenge. Right now our trip to Philly to visit our elderly siblings we haven’t seen in two years is in jeopardy because Adam had COVID symptoms. We have seen him in over 10 days but still, going on a plane and traveling is riskier every day though we are vaccinated I’m resentful to those who haven’t been vaccinated because they’re ruining everyone’s lives as that’s how the virus is still spreading and hospitals are full. As our Rabbis keep saying, our people have been through much worse and survived, must maintain a positive attitude and hope for the best.

Scott and I paid cash for a 2.24 acre property in White Salmon. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. It made me feel hope, which I didn't realize I'd been missing. I'm unsure when I last felt hopeful, like, truly hopeful and optimistic about the future.

A combination of quitting my job, traveling for nearly half the year, and starting grad school. But truly, it was Doe Bay. During my time on the island off of Washington, I reconnected with nature, with my essence, with parts of myself that I have pushed away because of shame. I felt myself opening there, experiencing another spiritual awakening, as I call it. One of the biggest realizations from my time there was that I am just scratching the surface. Realizing I have these ideas and issues embedded in me is the first step, and I will be working through them for my entire life. I am so incredibly grateful for my three months there. It feels like a dream now. I want to remember how I felt when I was there - free. Looking back, I think I was able to feel so free because there were so many limitations. I had very few responsibilities and nowhere to be.

I'm still struggling with losing Nick. It's been just over a year and while I'm not a complete mess I am sad a good deal of the time. At times I'm angry, other times I resent the good fortune other parents have that their children are alive and around, and then other times I'm just exhausted. I know I shouldn't begrudge anyone their happiness and their family, but I miss him so much and just wish he had another go at getting and staying sober. In looking over my answer from last year I wrote about wanting to help other parents / people so they don't have to go through what we went through. But frankly there are enough organizations around that are already focused on dealing with treatment for addiction and mental illness. I'm too broke to give and too tired to do any volunteer work.

Meeting a certain person who broke my heart. Now,I’m no longer interested in a romantic relationship with a woman thanks to her. My heart is broken!

Such a long year. One thing for which I’m so thankful is the sanctuary James and Janet provided in Brewster. It was beautiful and serene.

After the completion of a film I've been working on for four years, and once we had a momentary lull in the pandemic, I had specific goals during my two month sabbatical: write every day during the month of July; travel with friends. Both of these experiences were greater than the goals themselves. Writing every day was incredible for so many reasons: I got to do what I wanted, on my timeline; I wrote longer than my daily goals much of the time, getting lost in my writing; I deepened my habit of writing as well as doing what I intend to do for myself, without worrying about the outcome. As for travel, I grew tired during the pandemic of being alone in my small home. Seeing friends, traveling with them to several different places, connecting on deep levels with them and with nature was exactly the medicine I needed. I'm grateful to have those kinds of friends in my life that bring me such joy in such simple ways and want to connect as deeply as I do.

I got pregnant and had a baby. Truly life changing. some moments it brings me so much joy and affirms my choices and relationship with my partner- many other times though it causes me to feel confused, guilty, lonely, unsure about my place as a professional, and so much more. Should we have brought a human into this world when there are so many in need ?

Memories of the last year are dominated by COVID. We spent most of the year at the cabin and we didn't see many people. I loved it. I had my connections with the outside world through the internet, but could take the dogs out for a walk every morning with almost no chance of seeing a car. The cabin turned out to be a wonderful retreat and we celebrated Christmas there with all the kids. We had time to make improvements and address normal maintenance challenges, without feeling we were giving up valuable time away. There are a mix of emotions associated with COVID, but anxiety, worry, concern, and cautiousness would be the main ones. But, I also was comfortable with our risk exposure and optimistic that we were being careful enough. But, because Trump was so ill-prepared and lacked any common sense on how to prepare the population for a pandemic, I'm also disappointed and a little mad that we were put in a position to suffer as much as we did.

I was not able to travel as I normally would. that was depressing and saddening for me. I resented the situation because "it" took almost two years from me. But on the other hand, I was at home for the longest period in a decade or more. I was able to do things I might have put off.

The Verzenio is wreaking havoc on my body. Dr. Cascetta had me take a medication vacation just to give my body a break. So a week without the drugs was lovely and now I'm back on them. Again, alternating diarrhea and constipation. Today seems like a good day, but it's so unpredictable. The PET scans make me nuts. First, they thought they saw something in a tonsil so I went down a tonsil cancer rabbit hole. ENT saw nothing. Now they saw semi solid and ground glass in my lung. I want to see my child graduate and thrive. I pray for 75 and will be sort of content if I make it to 70. And the whole Ed Ward monster abuser thing makes me want to vomit. I am resentful that the powers that be let this man continue to have access to our children. I don't want my money to go to USCJ and an trying to think of ways to ask that it not be sent there.

RR was late to tosh ashana Dinner I got annoyed When she arrived all shivering tell us she almost drowned I put life into perspective I almost lost her for ever Thank you god for giving me my daughter back I promise to be a better person

Having spent the better part of a year mostly inside my own head, unable to read or write for pleasure, unable to control my ADHD, and significantly depressed, anxious, and increasingly dysphoric, I took the first step towards examining the idea that I am not actually a cis male. It has already been scary. But also I am excited to see what, and who, comes next.

I think the significant experience I had was the disappointing and stressful time when we searched for childcare for our children. We held off on searching during the summer, as we were hoping that our son would get into his school of choice, and we also hoped that both children would get into the before/after school program. What wound up happening is that he got into the childcare program, but not the school. We searched endlessly for a babysitter/driver. We needed a morning babysitter and an afternoon babysitter. I can't even explain the level of stress I had. We finally found a morning babysitter/driver, and then our son's friend's mom offered to be the after school pickup driver/babysitter. She did it for ONE day and then tested positive for Covid. I picked up the kids for a few weeks and then a miracle happened, our son got into his choice school (back with our daughter), AND he got into childcare as well. I feel like I aged 10 years in 2 months during this whole drama.

Covid. I’m numb at this point. I’ve been angry, scared, hopeful, and grateful. But mostly I’m angry. I don’t understand how so many people are against science and I’m bewildered and defeated.

Getting a vaccine and seeing how fortunate we are in US to have access to quality medicine when so many in the world don’t. Also upset with complainers - no one can get anything right without people complaining. It grows tiresome

My grandfather died. He's one of the most important people in my life and one of the people who I believe loved me unconditionally. It's terrifying to me because a mainstay for my depression coping mechanisms for years has been "if I killed myself, it would kill him"

In the past year, we put my mother into Memory Care. This has been incredibly sad, seeing her not remember from moment to moment, let alone huge swaths from her (our) past. While I am relieved that she is in a safe space, I am upset that it costs so god-damned much for those with dementia and Alzheimers to get such care (aware of my privilege, too, that my father left her so much $ when she died that we can afford this for her.....). And I am fearful for my own future. Is my brain atrophying (feels that way!)? Am I next, and if so, what will happen? (No "trust fund." No husband [or late husband]. No kids.) I don't have the resources to go into Memory Care if (looks like "when") my brain goes fully to mush.

My dad passed away from Covid. Made me bitter about how it happened and the utter pack of preparation and health care resources in India.

Just last night I was reminded on how fragile life is. Driving home from dance last at night on the highway I saw a deer walking across the highway...as I tried to slow down a car in the middle lane going faster than me hit that deer head on. The deer went flying, barely missing my car as the other driver swerved and obviously damaged his car badly. Any slight alteration of that event could have lead injury. Life is fragile. I am grateful.

For the first time in my life (age 50), I bought a house. I am beyond grateful for this house. It is so perfect for me, I am madly in love with it and am having so much fun making it what I want it to be. It was a very long search with a few detours and many disappointments, but this was clearly the one for me. It suits me perfectly. I feel entirely inspired that I was able to do it as well as entirely inspired living in it. I am excited for all the experiences that will center in this home.

Even in this strange world we find ourselves, my world has shifted positively again at last and I am grateful. I settled the majority of my debt (huge relief/due to the sale of our house).. and feel that at last I have the choice to step out and achieve what I really want to. The world still leaves us/me despondent... but I'm intent on being inspired by my dreams and intend to make them happen.

My synagogue lost our rented home, and thanks to a close relationship that I had, found a new and better home to rent. But first my partner in this relationship died, and then Covid stepped in. It has been a really difficult transition

My mom’s cancer diagnosis has caused me to be proactive in terms of my own health, and proactive in terms of positive relationships.

My father had some legal issues last year that I won't go into detail. I thought that I would lose him, and that his grandchildren wouldn't be able to see him but maybe once a year through a sheet of plexiglass. The thought of him wasting away in a cell while his last productive, healthy years passed by with nothing for him to show frayed my nerves and made a wreck of me. It was maybe the most stressful period of my life. I got him out though, and I felt immensely relieved when the police car dropped him at the release point. While there are still many issues that we have to resolve as a family, and while my father hasn't been productive for a while now, I think I did what had to be done.

My hours were severely cut at work, so now I am looking for a new full-time or part-time job. Working part-time might be complicated, but it could be the best way I transition into working for myself and getting my own clients with small projects. For now, I've had one interview and submitted applications to two other firms. We'll see how it goes.

My mum died of a stroke, aged 80. I’d not seen her in person since the start of the pandemic, and my last sight of her was when she was already unconscious dwarfed by the pillows in her hospital bed. We had the funeral three weeks later, with just a handful of mourners and then the country went back into lockdown again. It feels like I still haven’t grieved properly.

This year has been very satisfying for me. Amoung all the disasters, a pandemic, my daughter found a career that will give her the opportunity to have financial freedom and a life filled with purpose. As I see her grow I am reminded of her inate strength and how beautful life can be. It was the passing of her father that gave her the realization of her chosen profession. By him dying, she started living. I am beyond grateful and relived that she found a calling. It makes me feel like I don't have to worry about her and her ability to have a life of quality. It also has been my own source of pride - that I raised this human to be self sufficiant. It takes time but you actually reap what you sow.

I got into law school and started law school. I am so grateful that I’m here now—it really feels like this is somewhere I’m supposed to be in a meaningful way. Though my last job was great and meaningful (perhaps objectively more meaningful), it wasn’t right for me. This feels like my calling.

Being in a place where I needed to find a new job (and finding a new job) was a major moment for me this year. It was a real exercise in patience, persistence, and self confidence. I really needed to learn to get out of my comfort zone, proactively reach out and engage with people, feel confident in my strongpoints, and not be let down if/when things didn't work out. In the end I feel like a stronger person for it.

This past year I took an honest look at where I am in my life versus where thought I would be at this age. That meant evaluating my mental, physical and financial health. I celebrated the progress I’ve made in my mental health, through meditation, and in my finances, by reducing my debt. I know the changes I need to make to achieve my goal of losing 15 pounds, and I’m committed to making them.

I finished nursing school (after an extra semester) and moved to Baltimore last week! It really wore me down, but I'm proud of myself. But I'm also wary of my pride for getting a piece of paper saying something. Education has always been such a worth-set in my family and I hate that I might be playing into that. But I'm fucking proud of myself. I worked my ass off in an abusive system and showed the fuckers that told me first semester that I'd never make it that I could. And I did it for me too. I'm finally feeling safe here. I finally got to leave and I'm so grateful. I know life won't be perfect, but it's so nice to feel thag there could actually be a life at all, not a mere existence. I'm finally free.

I never thought in a year of self-imposed covid quarantine that I would even have experiences that could possibly be the answer to this question - but maybe there are three things that could possibly fit the bill. Going home and actually seeing my sister, brother and mom; taking a small part in DBP's performance just this past weekend (my video of Try Me was premiered); but for me, the most significant experience was the result of an offhand comment by my vocal coach, Dr. Elvia Puccinelli. She's constantly been a source of light, warmth and positivity since our first meeting. She wanted to get coffee to chat about maybe making a youtube channel or a podcast about Russian music because that is one of my passions - and suddenly something snapped into focus for me. She suggested maybe female Russian composers and I went home and did research for 16 hours a day for two weeks straight - we met and I had created a list with emphasis on those whose music I had or could access. I completely threw out my previous dissertation topic and veered into a new lane with a sense of righteous purpose. The universe was speaking through her and I felt that synchronous vibration and went with it. I'm still working on it, but I feel a definite sense of rightness and inspiration and energy surrounding this direction.

I was passed over for a job. At the time I was angry, but I now know it was a blessing. It gave me the courage to reevaluate my purpose in life and take a different direction. I quit my job, and rolled in school, and am now interested in doing a lot of things. I am less focused on climbing the ladder and more focused on fulfillment and purpose.

getting treated for depression. Both grateful and resentful. Grateful because my life isn't so tense anymore -- I can fly places! -- but also resentful because I feel like I've lost some motivation to push

I'm January of 2021, after still being furloughed due to my employer not being able to reopen since it's a cruise industry job. We took the opportunity to sell it Florida house and move to a much calmer, affordable, beautiful home with land in Mississippi. I am extremely grateful. It brought us closer to my husband's family. I'm relieved because hurricane Ida only caused little damage to our yard, but we are here for my in-laws who's home in Louisiana was destroyed. I'm extremely grateful we could be here for them to stay. Moving to Mississippi also allowed my husband to find an incredible job with an eco friendly company that is expanding and he has a wonderful position with them. And I'm extremely grateful we have all remained covid negative. We are all vaccinated, but no break through cases.

My kiddo Elior was born, and 12 days later my dad died. I felt as if I was drowning, trying to be a parent as my own parent was dying, trying to be happy and sad at the same time. Things aren’t as intense now but I’m still deeply sad I can’t share this little one and the joy he has brought us with my dad.

I began a certification course at Southwestern College - TGR - Trauma Grief and Renewal. It has changed my focus. It is clear that most of the greed, anger, acting out and belief in obvious lies in this country has to do with unresolved trauma and unexpressed grief. I still have time to make a difference. Also I am in the process of buying a smaller house with much less land to worry about and will move after Oct 15. Family reunion in July for unveiling Mom's grave marker. Beautiful experience. Right shoulder replace in April. Now only back pain.

We had Covid and bought a house. Covid scared me. Put some things into perspective, what is important and what’s not. Buying a house was so stressful but I’m so happy that we did it. It’s ours. It’s our home!

I had several significant experiences this past year. I lost an important job, I moved away from my hometown, community, friends, and family, and I moved in with my partner at their house. Losing my job made me feel resentful yet liberated, leaving my hometown was a bittersweet loss, and moving in with my partner has made me nervous but excited and joyful. Overall I am feeling more confident in my own ability to adapt and take care of myself than ever before.

I finished a 100 day workout challenge this past year, actually just did the 100th workout today. I am very proud of myself! I also lost another 10 pounds this year, which I didn't think I could do!

Last October my partner and I adopted our two cats; we love them so much and they bring us joy every day. I'm grateful for their presence in our lives and the little signs of affection they show to us. They also represent our commitment to each other, and to making our apartment a true home, after many years for both of us of moving often for short periods.

Getting vaccinated against COVID changed everything for me. I am so grateful to be able to socialize without concern now. I did not realize how much being around people positively impacts my mental health until I had returned to society. It truly is make or break for me. I love love love vaccines!!

I started my dream job at a place I had worked before and always loved. This time I’m in leadership with the power to actually make positive change. The job affected a lot - I had to sell my apartment, buy a house, renovate it, move to a different borough, and find a new daycare. But my family is better off and happier for it. Our new house is more space and across from a beautiful park. Because the job is intense, everything feels very busy and fast-paced and sometimes I feel like I can’t keep up, but my life is full in a good way.

I quit my job at FPS and went back to therapy. So glad I did. I miss a few things about it, but not really. I'm inspired and challenged. It's not good enough to just show up, I have to do some work to make myself better. I have a team to work with who challenge me every day to get better and do better.

in the past year I was relieved that the Courts ruled in my favour regarding my (first time) bankruptcy discharge, and very much relieved when the opposing creditor lost her appeal (the court ruled the opposing creditor's appeal was meritless). but then the opposing creditor started an appeal process with the Court of Appeal, but then decided to withdraw their Court of Appeal matter, yet started their typical delay tactic. so now I feel resentful!

I finally worked up the courage to approach a rabbi about converting to Judaism. I feel so grateful to have taken this step, and I feel like I've finally come home.

I would say my road trip in June to see family was at the top of the list. I felt exceedingly grateful to be able to spend time with loved ones after so long. I’m extremely glad I made the trip and yet frustrated, for with the outbreak of the Delta variant it may be quite awhile before I can see any of them again.

I think one of my most significant experiences was starting my Artist's Way Creative Collective. Forming such an amazing group of wonderful women, and really pushing one another creatively, has been such an important experience.

DIVORCE!!! I'm so happy to be free of that abusive marriage. As a guy, we're not supposed to talk about these things, and just "be a man". There are so many out there going thru the same thing, and there is a way out.

Well, I had a hysterectomy. No more bleeding. No more anemia. I am grateful, relieved, and even a little bit resentful. I fought hard to avoid it, mostly because I didn't want to believe my body could fail me. A resistance to aging. But, I'm glad it is behind me now, and my body feels better. Now I get to live on and face aging head on--and all it entails, in my relationships and in my day to day life.

Still Covid. Who would have thought that last year all the problems would still be impacting all of us a year later? Couple of things: first is getting my COVID shots. Finally. Phew. Things are still up in the air though so the relief is still short-lived but at least I’m somewhat better protected. Second: birth of our grandson. Having grandchildren wasn’t big on my list of musts, mainly because of world issues (Especially, climate change.) Now Covid is still with us, along with the anti-vaxxers, anti-everything idiots who are protesting outside hospitals, destroying the morale of hospital workers who are already stretched to their limit) and other problems which continue to expand and get worse.

Getting the associate director position at collectively was definitely the big significant event. I was grateful, it really unlocked everything for me internally, and I finally found a place to land emotionally, physically. The past year, as stable as it was, was also so uncertain and sent me on a path i didn’t expect.

I am 4 months shy of finishing my Masters, my terrible boss has left my employment, we bought a bigger house, sold our condo. So many things. I’m grateful for the hard things we have gone through, a little resentful that I didn’t get to living more. I need to focus on my family more and my mental health. One day at a time. I know everyone will have a Covid story. I want my Covid story to be a happy one.

COVID has changed everything. A dinner out or a weekend away would not have been a significant experience in the past, but it certainly is now. The most significant thing about this past year is that Neal and I still love each other and enjoy each other's company. We continue to work together successfully and all is right with the world. I could not be more grateful for my life partner.

Moving has been a very difficult experience for me and on that I need to address and remedy

My uncle Morty, the last surviving member of my parents' generation in our family, got very ill, changed his will at the last moment, and then died. It made me more aware of my mortality, of time passing, and the impermanence of life. During the process I have felt worried, anxious, grateful, burdened, resentful, suspicious, and lucky (and probably several more feelings).

I had a hysterectomy. I had resisted this for several years because I did not have symptoms.... such a big surgery for no symptoms. By going forward I was freed from having to struggle over the decision. I'm grateful to have reduced cancer risk. I'm awed by our local medical system and how smoothly both surgery and recovery went. The only small downside is, because I had no symptoms, I did not have the opportunity to feel a big change before v. after.

I manifested a great present career/lifestyle filled with festivals, music, food, great people. It started with deciding to join lexi and julie in Nashville/ for Bigfoot Electro. I took a leap of faith that it would somehow work out. It did. I decided i wanted to join the circus. I lept. I met Vas and decided i wanted to run a festival. Became friends with him, hired him as an event consultant. Have gone to numerous fests since. Worked/managed medics for Big Fam. Became friends with Kevin. Hope to be an Ops Mgr for them for 2022. Planning a Halloween party in bklyn and a new years show somewhere. I am so inspired and life-affirmed, and feel like for the first time in a while i am doing what i am supposed to be doing.

I had to wait an entire year to hold Celebration of Life for my husband. It brought some closure- it was beautiful. But I'm glad I can still cry. I'm deep to my core grateful that the summer was so beautiful and full of wildlife. I know that my husband has been part of that.

Our son graduated from high school and began college. As I have said to myself and a few others, his high school graduation day started on my high school graduation day. At the time of mine, I was preparing for the penultimate bowling tournament of my grade school years. Long story short, I focused for almost 2 months on trying to win that tournament, which was 2 days after the graduation ceremony (I finished 3rd). I learned about sacrifice through that process. When I got to college, I realized that the sacrifice my would-be sportscaster classmates were willing to make was… a normal family life. I sensed even then that I did not want to be an absentee husband and/or dad. Had I missed seeing my son grow up because of being on the road all the time (think: Cat’s in the Cradle, by Harry Chapin), I could not have lived with myself. Though becoming a sportscaster would have been the job for which I was best suited, the pangs of jealousy I occasionally feel when I see my successful classmates end when I see the home videos of all my son’s hockey games, concerts, science fairs, and family visits. I have those videos because I was there to shoot them.

The return of my cancer. I'm scared, angry, resentful. Trying hard to be hopeful and to let go of trying to control my health. It is out of my hands. Physically it is very demanding and debilitating. Spiritually it makes me take time for others and for conversations with God.

I got my first MRI of the brain for the migraines I have been getting since I was eight. They have been chronic since I was 14. I was absolutely terrified the day of the procedure. Now, I am relieved! The neurologist told me that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the physiology of my brain— so the migraines are not due to any lesions or tumors. I’m grateful for this knowledge, because the stress of not knowing, and not being taken seriously by other physicians in the past when I wanted to ensure that there was nothing more severe wrong, was even more stressful than my symptoms themselves. I’m now on a daily preventative medication that has made a substantial difference in my quality of life, and I have a neurologist that I trust to take me seriously, should anything more severe happen in the future.

I applied for three different jobs, and I didn't get any of them. I particularly wanted the first job I applied for; the other two were more attempts to move into a different work space. I felt humbled by the fact that I wasn't chosen for any of the three positions, though in two cases I made it to the final round. I wasn't sure how to understand this: was I too old? (I will turn 65 this year, and the first two jobs were for five-year terms; in both cases, younger women were chosen.) I had told myself particularly in the first case that it would be a good thing institutionally if a person of color were chosen instead of me, a white woman... but then another, younger white woman was chosen. Had I made too many mistakes in my current position? (I was involved in a significant controversy that received a lot of publicity.) Or was I just not sufficiently impressive in terms of my record? In any case, the three defeats led me to think more seriously about retirement. Maybe I have achieved the pinnacle of what I can do in my professional life. Sad, sobering. The other big experience, connected in some way to the first one, was a move from a house in the hills to a condo on the flats. I decided, after my son's move out of the home last year, that my husband and I did not need so much space, and he was thrilled to move close to city life. I also wanted to shrink my budget in preparation for retirement (see the first experience) and because the house-sale market was so hot, I saw the opportunity to get some cash to help finance my son's education. This was humbling as well; I had struggled to be able to own a house, and I really loved my beautiful, small, modern home. The new condo is very nice, but I was raised in a culture where owning a house with a yard was the sign of established success, so I feel somewhat diminished. Finally, I had a fall on my bike and injured my thumb. The doctor treating me emphasized my arthritis and aging body, which he said would continue to be a problem and grow worse. In fact, I have now begun to have significant issues with my knees. Yoga is helping, but the theme is: aging and the struggle to accept life's trajectory.

I set a retirement date. While I love my work, I hate my job. The environment is unhealthy and stressful. Making the decision to leave has brought me considerable relief, as the time I have yet to endure is now finite. I can begin to plan and look forward to what comes next.

I got a dog who was rehomed from a neighbour. His name is Bobby Seale Bratton. He is five years old. He is a Parsons Russell Terrier-friendly, loyal, sweet, clever, and very entertaining. He has been a great companion and he has gotten me through this year of lockdown and isolation. Because I had to walk him twice a day, I was forced to be outside even in the bad weather, which definitely helped my mental health. I am grateful for him.

I decided to convert to Judaism. It has made me feel quite confused and vulnerable as I'm 42 and have never been religious nor wanted to be. I felt a sudden pull I couldn't ignore. It also has made me feel inspired and reminded me that life can always be surprising

I was diagnosed with ADHD! It was so relieving and affirming in many ways to feel like "it's not my fault I'm so bad at all these things that everyone acts like I should be able to do easily." I also occasionally felt (/feel) like a fraud making excuses because I'm convinced that since school wasn't too hard for me (in some ways), I don't have it as bad as others. (That's called internalized ableism, kids.) But I've also reexamined my schooling experience and identified how overwhelmed I always was and how my anxiety and shame forced me to exhaust myself, so I am trying to allow for the possibility that maybe school wasn't actually easy for me. I have also occasionally felt mad that I have ADHD - why can't things just be easy for me?? But I am so grateful to know and to have begun the process of addressing it. I learn something new about myself almost every day. Knowing I have ADHD helps me address any challenges in a way that works for me, and I don't have to go through the process of trying to do it the way it's "supposed" to be addressed just because that's "supposed" to work. I am working on building up my support network and getting better at asking for help, without feeling ashamed or like a burden, and trusting that people will say no if they are unable to do something for me.

This last year I felt a lot of significance around my work and at success. The positive messages I’ve gotten from students and families really makes me feel proud of where I am and my chosen professional path. I’m grateful that I have been excepted by the community in this role and I’m inspired to see how I can continue to grow my business. I also had a significant break up this year and I’m really proud of how I learned and loved in my relationship and then moved on in a healthy way when it was over.

This year I was diagnosed with a brain tumor! Definitely malignant, and potentially really bad. This has affected me physically, but I'm largely getting better. My arm is a lot stronger than it was, my leg doesn't hurt like it did in the beginning, I think I'm gaining some control of my facial muscles back, and my balance has gotten better (although I am still a little unstable when I first wake up!). Mentally, this has taken a huge toll on me, although I feel as though I'm getting better at handling this. At first I'd scream and cry about the situation, and slowly that morphed into just wallowing by myself. I was asking Eric constantly for reassurance that I was 'ok' but now I don't really need to do so. I was seeking out all sorts of help from other cancer survivors, yoga, Buddhism, meditation, alternative healthcare, you name it. Now, I've separated myself from this and am about back to my normal life, although I am still doing Keto and taking ample supplements (including a dog dewormer!). This overall has been a huge life change for me. At first, it ruined my life, but I'm growing to live with it. I won't say I'm 'back to normal' and just like the pandemic I think this is my 'new normal.' I am neither grateful or relieved (even after they 'lowered' the grade of my tumor). Resentful to a degree, why must this happen to me? I'm learning to understand that it is nothing I did, but I still struggle to understand why I was afflicted with this. Inspired... well recently I've been wanting to write a book about my experience. I found no one talked about their experience with this 'rollercoaster' and those that have are dead, survivors, instilling 'hope', or a caretaker. I want to give the story of the 'rollercoaster' itself, the ups and downs as I learn and unlearn more about my diagnosis. I want to give others that experience so they too learn that they'll eventually settle into their 'new normal' too, and I don't want to provide them space to compare their experience to mine--I'd like to remove my name from the writing so they don't know where I am at the time of their reading. That way, their frustrations comparing where I am at won't cloud their trust in my experience. Overall, I am angry, saddened, depressed, frustrated, and confused by this experience. I cannot express any 'joy' or 'happiness' out of something so normal, just a form of 'content.' It'd be a lie to say it does not disturb me every day, but I'm attempted to 'forget' and live my 'new normal.'

I moved out after living with my grandparents for the last 8 years, this is also the first time I'm not living with family. It has made a huge impact on my life, giving me more control and autonomy of my time and space. It has also helped me get a better sense of who I am, what I want and the possibilities of achieving what I want.

We got to experience our daughter first year! It was inspiring, challenging, rewarding, and funny.

Significant experience that has happened in the past year. I was employed by IRD.Global & I bought a KWID and I bought a care center for SASSA pensioners in the Free State, and I decided to get involved with a blind man diagnosed with diabetes after 4 years of being single and having no sex. My relationship with my 4 biological children improved 100% How did it affect me? My financial situation improved, my petrol consumption is much lower, my retirement is secure, and my children have regular contact. My personal life is very satisfying. I'm grateful. Relieved. Satisfied. and probably in love, loved, adored, appreciated, accepted. Life is good.

Throughout my last year of my master’s program, I started taking clients at my traineeship. Becoming a therapist has let me look at life and people differently. I have more compassion and empathy for myself and others than I ever thought I could hav.

Neighbours who can not take a polite friendly note about moving their car up a little so another car can park behind.

I’ve been lethargic and cranky and overweight and my hormones are out of whack and my thyroid has been awful and no sleeping. I’m definitely not grateful I’ve been resentful and angry and frustrated. I am moving towards getting better so by the time I read this next year I better be where I need to be

I wrote a book! I have revised it and paid for an editor and am preparing to send it off to agents. I can hardly believe I accomplished a life goal! Now I'm hoping others will be as engaged in it as I've been. I am so grateful to the people in my life who have supported me in getting to this place. And I'm proud of myself for putting in the work.

I had a sexual experience that left me questioning myself, the patriarchy, and lessons I have learnt and taught about consent. I don’t know what emotions I feel about it but I think they range from resentment and anger to confusion and self doubt.

I finally got something published, or rather two somethings. I am somewhat happyish about it, but am also disappointed that I haven't been able to crack any of the top tier journals.

We sold our house of 23 years. I have a mixture of feelings. I feel sad because it represents the first step for moving out of the state. It made me feel a bit like a failure for not earning more money which would have enabled us to keep the house. On the other hand, we made a great profit which will go a long way to funding our retirement and giving us some breathing room. Our timing for selling the house is probably the best it could have been. So it's a mixed bag of emotions.

Very recent, but I left Red Antler for Proto. There was a lot of built up resentment as the days kept ticking by. There is some slight bad blood between Emily and I that I'm hoping to let go of soon. I just can't believe how immature she acted and how rude she was to me. I'm very happy that I made the change, and am really looking forward to see where Proto will take me. I think that Saneel is going to be difficult at time, but I hope that the positives outweigh the negatives. If anything this experience reminded me that a job is just a job, that I don't "owe" anyone anything (especially my employer), and that it is SO important for me to speak my truth.

First, it was one of the best years teaching, my students were wonderful and I got to teach the high school for the first time which was fantastic. Josephus and I also got the news that we would be PCSing to Kadena, Japan. The initial shock was hard: realizing I would be leaving my students and family behind, but now I think we're both ready. The movers will be getting our things Tues.-Thurs. and then Josephus will be headed out a week from today. I would say that I am nervous and excited.

I started therapy with an IFS therapist and I am feeling so much better. Less anxiety, less stress, better understanding of who I am and how to stabilize or regulate my nervous system and my internal mind system. I realize I can access my strengths through accepting my weaknesses, by living the truth as it is in the moment, speak it to myself or a trusted other, and be able to refresh myself. This has helped rolling with all the difficulties, challenges, successes and creative projects of the last year. I've never been happier and I've never been able to feel so much without being overwhelmed and in despair. I have more space to be kind with myself and others.

I feel all of those things. I think the fact that I survived this past year is a significant experience. I've been jamming out to Kelly Clarkson's 'What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger' for over a decade- and I really 'got' it this year. I'm still in a state of shock and disbelief that this year is my life. I'm grateful for my healing and a exponential increase in the depth of relationship that I share with a social network that I consider family. I'm relieved that I'm out of soon to be ex-husband's house. I resent myself for staying so much longer than I should. I'm resentful that my parents still don't listen to me seriously or trust me. I'm resentful that each of my parents will deny and get defensive and shift blame and/or gaslight a bit...all while saying they are offering support. I am resentful that I'm heartbroken and alone as a direct result of the very limited worldview I've had. No one in my world has ever taken what I have to say seriously. I'm resentful that the times that I 'matter' are the times I'm struggling- and towards the misguided confidence they have regarding their knowledge of me. I'm inspired by the fact that I thought I was relatively functional for more than a decade and but I was wrong- the world is a kinder place than I realized.

In January my dad died of Covid. I am heartbroken and I still cry everyday. I am angry that people who were not taking this pandemic seriously passed it from person to person until it reached my father. I miss him very much.

Dad died. It affected me in significant ways. I am sad, empty, seeking, reaching for memories, feeling his presence and his absence. I'm relieved that he won't die again or that I won't worry about his dying. I've lived through the immediate loss. I am struck by the awareness of having no parent and watching the changes to the adult child constellations that are the relationships among my siblings and me.

My husband of over 54 years passed away. I am still in shock over it. With the worries of the pandemic, we are in a new world. I am grateful to be alive, but resentful that this has changed our well-being so much.

I have gained a partner whom I hope becomes my life partner. He's shown me that I'm capable of anything I can set my mind to. I hope to be with him for a very long time. It's relieving to have hope and faith in myself again.

Biden got elected president ending the 4 horrible years of Donald Trump. I was tremendously relieved. I felt a huge burden lifted off on my mind. I thought that we were on our way back from the abyss. I felt hopeful and yet still wary of the people and politicians who have been bent to do crazy things by Trump.

The first thing to mind: applying for Oxford. It was significant because it was bold, out of the box for me, and terrifying and challenging. Yes, there’s the “good for you for trying” and “be proud you did your best” reasoning I can go to, but it doesn’t feel authentic. I’m sad, disappointed, hurt that I wasn’t good enough. I’m also angry at myself for the particular help I asked for — I think in two instances it might have hurt my application. I felt uneasy about asking these two people, but went ahead because I could think of no one else and was afraid. I don’t feel proud of HOW I applied or managed the process; don’t feel gratified that I “gave it a shot.” I feel invalidated, both by my perceived mistakes and the fact I was declined. I think of Leland Melvin, who said some astronauts apply 10-12 times (they can only apply once per year!) before making it into the program. I should walk under this “keep going if you really want it” banner. Right now, I don’t feel the motivation, that engine that “thinks it can.” It’s enough of an effort to get up and try to do anything some days. Like the chapters I’m in in LOTR right now, the black cloud of Mordor hangs overhead, and weighs heavy. This is no springtime scene of sitting at a desk in Hobbiton to finish writing a book, it’s almost a daily slog through marshes and dry rocks and Oxford feels worlds and worlds away.

I was unhappy with my job. I found another position, with no intention of switching, but it was better for me professionally and personally, so I did. Now the position will be extinguished. I felt relieved and hopeful at first, then horrible, but now I am feeling more confident that better things will come my way.

Hundred questions day number one September 6, 2021 Because of the housing market we decided to try to sell our house and succeeded. We have lived in this house for 20 years, good memories of raising two daughters, two dogs and a cat. I am sad to leave the house but ready to transition to a new experience. I will be terribly sad to leave my flowers. I’m an avid gardener and hope the new people really give the landscaping a lot of love like I did. I’m super grateful to my husband, family and my great neighbors who helped me with the move. I feel rather melancholy leaving this house. This house our home will give the new family a lot of love.

My 18-year-old made Aliyah with Garin Tzabar, the first member of our family in over 2000 years to come home and be a citizen of a sovereign Jewish nation. He will be enlisting in the Israel Defense Forces, protecting our people and defending our land. I couldn’t be prouder.

On November 17, 2020 I rang the bell at the radiotherapy clinic, indicating my end of cancer treatment. I feel hugely grateful and relieved. I feel in one sense that I got away lightly - 16 months after finding the lump, I only have my short hair and menopause as lingering reminders. A little deeper there’s the feeling that I can’t - no, I shouldn’t - count on many years ahead. My brain and heart preparing for a recurrence sometime down the road. I don’t know if it’s a scar left by this brush with cancer - but there’s this feeling that sometime it will come back, and that will be okay. In tender mercy all for me is planned.

I was laid off from my job. I am somewhat anxious and yet relieved. The layoff has allowed a new chapter in my life to open, and that may prove to be a good thing.

getting an ADD diagnose for my son and deciding to go for medication. It has thrown me into reflection of what my responsibility as a mum is, my right to meddle with the health of my kids and ways of helping. It was hard and heartbreaking, a relief and has shown me an addiction of mine to getting things fixed for good... what an illusion.

Most significant is that after 10 years of being basically single, a month ago my boyfriend of 18 months and I moved into a townhouse together. This is a step that I could not envision with any of the many boyfriends or men I've dated. I was pretty cemented into having my own place, being fully independent, having a lot of alone time. But somehow I felt ready and interested in doing this and it is so far proving to have been a good decision. We have been having a lot of fun setting it up and I have to say that I am quite happy with him and to be living with him. Brand new world!

I got engaged. Began having major panic and anxiety issues. Thought things were getting better, then my mom died, by her own hand. It was a choice she made and I don’t resent her at all for it, she was suffering. Then her dad died, my grandfather. So honestly I don’t know where I’m at with everything. I don’t even feel that sad a lot of the time except when I miss my mom. Just feels like no matter what happens in my life it is on pause. But that’s probably disassociation, or something. I also started a new job and am trying to get into therapy but I was trying to do that before my mom died. So I feel…grateful for my son & fiancé, but everything else is just going thru the motions.

Could not go to Italy for a year and soent more time with family here appreciating what I had here and there. Started to stay over in birmingham and feeling / rediscovering myself. Starting to exercise regularly and set myself as a priority and feel like a different new woman!

My Mom died from Covid on January 5th 😢. I've been sad, resentful to whoever brought it into the place she lived but grateful the hospital sent her back there so we could be with her her last 4 hours.

A friend of high school died to coronavirus after weeks of struggle. He was not a close friend to me, but a constant presence in our yearly meetings. It showed me how our life may go in a minute, or in weeks at hospital. I am furious against authorities that put politics first and vaccines later.

I caught Covid. It made me appreciate health. I am glad I got that over with. It made me cautious for the future.

Getting home to Ausyralia in March for 3 months, getting a job at AGS like a piece of piss and then turning it down and returning to London. I’m not quite sure yet how this has affected me. It was crucial for me to get home for my mental health and see all the people I care about. I saw grandma one last time before she died. That was so important. I accidentally slept through her funeral on zoom but I rewatched it, no worries. Grandma dying is very significant. I’ll miss her forever. I’m still processing what this means to me but it’s hugely significant for my dad snd his lifestyle, for my family. So much history dies with her and it feels like the Stirling branch goes with her too. I loved her so much.

Yes my wish that I have a permanent relationship with Carl Magill has come true. I am very grateful.

Last October, MHS moved out of our family home and into his own apartment. After 6 months of not being able to settled in my own space, it was a relief and has honestly allowed us to be able to be in relationship with one another and spend time together with our children.

Pandemic

What qualifies as a 'significant experience' these days, when all the days blend into each other and we're still living a modified version of our s0-called normal lives?

Back in January I asked my boss for some basic feedback and she couldn’t answer. I think it crushed me even though in the back of my mind I knew that my work and my contributions were really not valued at the company. At first I was resentful but then it actually gave me a sense of freedom. I finally had confirmation and then I felt free to be able to begin a journey of finding out what I really do value and how I could find a role or work that was in complete alignment with it.

Today, 9/6. This past year, I connected deeper with my spiritual practice. I began meditating regularly and viewing life from different lenses. I have accepted suffering as a normal way of life and I do not fear it. I am grateful, eternally blessed knowing that I am lucky to have this practice in my life. Though I am still working through the conditioned emotions of good/bad, shame, guilt, etc., I feel confident I can work through this to find a life of unconditional acceptance and goodness.

I moved back home to Lithuania from UK. I am very relieved as my move ended toxic relationship and hopefully saved my life. I started therapy which helps me put all information I gathered during last 4 years into action. I am growing so much and hopefully it will help me live meaningful and fulfilling life.

We moved into our renovated house on the ranch. It's a beautiful house, and it's so quiet. It's such an amazing place. Very grateful and inspired.

I sold my house & relocated to a new area. This was a spontaneous decision. I feel liberated despite being currently between homes as new place is a slow process. What will be will be!

I took my first trip since December 2019. From June 27th to July 1st, I spent time in Montauk on Long Island following the wedding of my friends Trevor & Louisa. It felt wonderful to escape from my room and be in the outside world again. The sun rising and setting, the flowers and the sea made me feel alive again. I didn't want to go back home.

Definitely Covid-19 and the Delta variant. My experiences were limited as i did not go into stores except for groceries, pharmacies and outdoor restaurants. So far,my health has been good. I have started to make Doctor's appointments. I have been inspired by my art work.

Hard to think of anything other than Covid and climate change. So not so much one experience, but endless reimagining, endless worry, endless anxiety, hopelessness, problem solving - no respite

When the first vaccinations were available in March 2021, it was a completely stressful experience. Getting up at 5AM so I could call as soon as the call centers opened. I got my appointment by fluke, really, and am completely vaccinated now. Why was this process so difficult.

Getting vaccinated for COVID. It was such an enormous relief after a year of living in the pandemic and feeling relatively powerless, to be able to be vaccinated and to see my loved ones get vaccinated too. My gratitude to the researchers who made this possible is off the charts, and being able to gather with my family and friends again, while still not totally back to normal, is such a wonderful thing.

I lost my mom. It has affected me deeply, and in my mind I find that I often revert to childlike thoughts in my mind. I am devastated and miss her so much. It has had a huge impact on this first year without her.

I am in las cruces!!! In a new program!!! I'm going to be a paleontologist and I am so happy and grateful!!! I legitimately cannot believe how lucky I am to have gotten here

I had a head injury. It affected every aspect of my life. My relationships, my physical health, my mental health, my social and emotional health. I became very grateful for everyone I could do and accomplished, and I now feel very blessed.

Teaching through COVID has changed me. I feel more confident, more useful, more purposeful. Less willing or able to make small talk. I wonder what I will feel like as my purpose diminishes. That will be the next challenge.

I graduated from college, which is still a little unreal even a year and a half later. I’m still very much processing it, and I don’t know how to feel about it beyond “proud,” honestly. It was the most difficult thing I’ve done in my life!

My children and grandchildren now all live within walking distance. I feel so lucky that they are close by. I never knew my grandparents (that had all died before I was 3 months old), and my own children lived faraway from theirs. I hope to be areal presence in all their lives.

When news broke about significant sexual abuse of teens in Metny USY (my region growing up), one of my own USYers sent me a text asking if I was doing okay and thanking me for creating a safe space for her USY years. I was so touched by her reaching out. I feel blessed that I was able to be part of teens’ lives in a positive way.

I moved into my own apartment, just me and my dog. It was monumental for how I view myself and how I can take care of myself. I am immensely grateful it worked out and that I have a beautiful space to call my own, that reflects me and my energy.

Was able to get my headache disease under more control Very Grateful!

Depressed by the ongoing COVID restrictions. Has limited my/our activities. Not a lot we can do, and I feel bored and anxious. Also the events of the past year (ongoing COVID, Afghanistan failure exposed, right-wing white nationalism, anti-abortion upsurge) have been depressing.

I did a 360. My life is amazing

Matt's death was definitely significant. At the end of May, we learned of his cancer. 10 days later, he was married. 3 weeks after that, he passed away. I was grateful to have the time to be with him and the Miami gang and to celebrate him and Kristi. I was sad when he passed away. Between Matt, Eric and Ryan, that is three peers close to me who have been seriously impacted by cancer in the past 12 months. It has made me appreciate and want to take care of my health. It has made me even more appreciative of friendships too.

Hey significant experience that happened this year was the Covid vaccine. I am grateful for the vaccine. I am relieved to have the vaccine. I am resentful of people who I feel are acting stupid, and don’t want to be told what to do by the government. So they feel that they will not get the vaccine, a healthy protection for people to live. It makes me angry, and fearful, and I hope that more than 55% of people have a vaccine by next year.

Getting laid off from my old job and finding a job I love. I feel so grateful that I felt so immediately spiritually taken care of after being laid off from that terrible, toxic, place. But it’s so new and it frightens me how easy it is and how much I like the job. Doesn’t that suck? I’m waiting for the shoe to drop. Working on believing this is just the next step towards greater purpose.

I guess just Covid in general. But I'd say it has made me grateful for my health, the freedom I have most of tge time and a beautiful house when I can't get our.

3 months ago I broke up with my husband, 7 years of relationship. It was aching, I still feel pain sometimes. I hope that I will be grateful for this, but now I came back to my mother house and feel like I am 20 again (though I am 30) and I need to start again from point zero. So I feel scared but I try to do some steps.

In April I came out to my parents finally. It was a huge relief and helped to clear my mind. It also improved my relationship with them because it removed one of the walls between us. We still need to talk more about it - specifically how their attitudes towards queerness when I was growing up affected me and my mental health - but I don't think there's a way it could've gone better. They weren't surprised, and they were proud of me for being honest with them. It made me feel really grateful as I know there's so many who don't have such a positive experience. I hope that it will give me the courage to come out to my grandparents at some point too.

I almost lost 2 friends again by knowing I had a problem with the relationship but not speaking out . I’ve started realizing the impact repeated past traumas have had on the present. I probably need more therapy but also think I’m old and it’s late and pointless to fix me now

A significant experience that has happened in the past year for me is getting married! It was one of the best decisions I have made in the past year. Our wedding was small - we surprised our friends who we were going to meet up with on the Sunshine Coast. It was perfect.

I gave birth in June of 2020 so this time last year on the high holy days I was returning to work and learning how to be a working mother. This whole year has been an exercise in reacquainting myself with the person I have become. I am grateful for the sense of fulfillment my job gives me, the sense of joy and wonder that being a mother gives me, and most of all I am grateful to have a support system in place that allows me to do both. It has been challenging and at times I have resented my job for taking me away from my baby and at others I have felt guilty for feeling my baby is taking me away from my work. I know this will be an ongoing struggle and my passions and identities will continue to evolve as I do.

I suppose the thing that first comes to mind is my brother's wedding - partly because it was less than a month ago, and partly because I faced a lot of C-PTSD triggers that week and I handled well. I handled everything better than I have in a long time. I was even a driver for my family and drove around Boston multiple times. I have had quite a few panic attacks over driving, so the fact that I could drive other people around a big city (with tiny roads and erratic drivers) and stay calm and focused was huge. It was significant. It was just driving a car, but it was significant. It's also been years since I was able to attend a wedding without having severe attacks and a lot of recovery time, and parts of the wedding ceremony were uncomfortable to me, but no attacks were triggered. That is significant. That I could celebrate a dearly loved brother and his wonderful new wife without past trauma getting in the way. It was a meaningful week in a way that would not have been possible even a year ago.

So much sadness and anxiety but probably my birthday would stick out to me. I turned 50 and people really worked hard to make my day special. My friends and coworkers and family. I felt so special even without the big trip or party. I was so grateful and it made me realize that people do love me and care about me and think aobut me. It is so hard when you think you are the only one that this is bothering but then something like that happens and you realize. We also purchased our home. We did not move like we planned but it is nice to know it is all ours. So grateful for the opportunity and ready for the new beginning of home ownership.

Second year and no word from the adulterer

A-1 Timber law suit was very impactful. I suppose using the word 'resentful' fits, but I've also learned and continue to learn (the case isn't over yet) just how to think about and deal with this kind of event. One must be able to genuinely remove himself from and perhaps in turn accept the outcome of things one cannot control. This, of course, doesn't imply giving up. So, I've come to terms with it and, we'll see how it turns out.

My granddaughter, raised with out God, told me she is bisexual..I am heartbroken..she is beautiful, intelligent and suffering because she doesn't know God...I am praying for God to reveal Himself to her.

I published a new CD of trio music. It was frustrating getting it to publish as the vendor involved made mistakes and fought to not correct them. It was delayed by 3 months because of it. It was also anti-climactic once published. I am glad it's done and out and I'll have a chance to present a concert with it in October. I resent the vendor and their lack of respect. I was not inspired by this published work, but was inspired and grateful to record another album with the singer-songwriter I work with. Looking forward to touring (hopefully) with that project.

I decided to love at our second home in a small coastal southern RI town and to see my patients via teleconference only. I wanted to be in a beautiful geographical area and near the sea; to be alone weekdays and take care of myself; to have natural light and a simpler lifestyle. Beauty. I closed my office in metro Bostton!

Biden was elected President. After the initial elation and relief came the attack on the Capitol. Looking at my country and the recessive policies currently being enacted (voting restrictions and abortion restrictions), as well as the continued push back against progress, I am frustrated. It is imperative that we move forward with environmental remediation, green jobs, economic justice, police reform, social justice, yet the Republicans balk, back step, and lie. A better world is possible.

I became a hands on caretaker for my father for the last 4 months of his life. I literally bathed him and cleaned him and never ever imagined that I would be in that role with him. Fifteen years ago I watched as my wife died at home in hospice care from metastatic breast cancer. It is hard for me to not compare the emotions of both experiences. Watching my father live his last days, so helpless. So dependent was soul crushing. I felt abandoned by my siblings who “ couldn’t” be there due to covid and distance. I also feel grateful for the relationship with my father in those final weeks, days, and months that only I will have. I am relieved that he is no longer suffering. And I miss him. Facing this first New Year without my dad is painful. It is painful watching my mother lost without him. And there is bitterness for me in the role that I have been put in with my mom. She is an amazing woman. She is also a handful! I worry for and about her. And I am tired. I am mostly tired going into 5782.

Well, I suppose the most significant thing is that we've lived through 19 months of a global pandemic. Living life like this is an emotional roller coaster. Some days feel "normal" (whatever that actually means), some are heartbreakingly sad and others are great and hopeful. I'm grateful for the science that brought vaccines. I'm resentful of the politicians who've stoked divisiveness and made me people distrustful of the science so that we continue to linger in this pandemic mess we're in.

My granddaughter was born in the spring. It’s my first grandchild. Loving her is falling in like love again for the first time. Overflowing. Joyous. Magical. I am grateful beyond words because I also get to spend so much time with her and her parents!

I came into this year's 10Q thinking I knew exactly what I'll write for each answer but I am sitting here with no idea what to write lol. I'm going with my 11 day stay at True North in Santa Rosa in May. I had always wanted to experience the health center - doctors, patients, environment - and it was a game changer for my physical and mental health. I overhauled my nutrition, met my tribe, and had the best vacation/retreat/investment in wellness I'd ever experienced. It was a reminder that when I travel I don't need to take trips to places that seem like desirable travel spots for the masses because I'm not the masses. Find my niche, my tribe, and go connect.

“The Twisties!” Simone Biles withdrew from Olympic competition because she couldn’t find her body in space — something she has done without thinking for decades. i similarly struggled this year with actions that were old hat to me. i have always juggled single-parenting, working at least one full time job, running a household and keeping my mental health in check. but suddenly, i couldn’t find myself in space. i had to quit my “easy” job or else i was risking serious injury to myself. and like Simone Biles, i “looked fine” from the outside. i was prepared to defend myself against critics, but have only received kind words and support.

I left Penny and moved in with Cindy. This sent a tidal wave of angst throughout the family, especially the kids. Luckily, I found some great AA in Memphis. I plan on staying to see where my spiritual journey goes while I am here.

Making masks during the pandemic - grateful for the team that worked alongside me & the sharing of materials & experiences.

It would be impossible to answer this question without bringing up the pandemic. The day after returning from Australia New York City went into lockdown and even though I continue to go into work with Dustin for another week and even longer our entire lives changed with the lack of toilet paper masks hand sanitizer etc. we never knew what was happening from day today but Governor Cuomo kept us updated and it was comforting. Since that time Governor Cuomo has been ejected from office due to sexual-harassment scandals. Since that time Ian Bagley has got in touch with me we’ve fallen in love with perhaps fallen out of love it’s unclear - everything is unclear and murky. Joe Biden has been elected thank goodness it was wonderful in the beginning and they had a strong agenda but they haven’t eradicated the filibuster and the pulling out of Afghanistan has been a mess and there are still so many refugees at our borders and camps and now the Delta variant has caused the virus to be out of control and unvaccinated populations were influenced by Trump and those people will no longer listen even to Trump who tells them to get vaccinated so all of these things have been incredibly painful it has felt like a nonstop roller coaster that I cannot get off of. Being in love part is been a revelation and so wonderful but it was followed immediately by contentiousness and miserable feelings of rejection I do not resent anything and I’ve been painting a lot and writing a lot so that’s been great am I grateful? Of course I’m grateful! I have a great job or at least a job that pays me well a really nice apartment a wonderful perfect husband food hot water and freshwater all the things that so many people do not have

1. Received three diagnoses that I'm now anxious about - herniated disc (February, 2020); glaucoma (March, 2021); and borderline pre-diabetes (August, 2021). Neither of my parents, and none of my grandparents, had any of these diagnoses, as far as I know. On the other hand, I re-started Weight Watchers because was told that what's good for the heart is good for the eyes, and I've lost eleven pounds. 2. Joe Biden won the presidency, thank G-d!

I'm really and truly a working freelance editor now, and I love it! Result--steady income, work I feel draws on my true strengths and challenges me to grow, and the boys are now in preschool, with friends and new experiences that are helping them grow, too. So grateful!

We got married! This was sort of expected and sort of not. The wedding itself was definitely not as planned. We went to Gretna Green. I feel incredibly grateful. The process of deciding to do it and changing out plans made me realise you need to focus on what important in life and why wait to do something so important.

The ongoing signifiant experience of trying to get pregnant. It has made me tired. I feel grateful for the support I am getting from the NHS, my parents, my husband and my sister. But I feel resentful and angry towards others who have conceived and had a baby, especially those who started trying at the same time or even after us. I had a miscarriage at about 5 weeks, which isn't very major in the grand scheme of things, but after trying for so long, it was both a blow and a sign of hope. It's all very mixed. I am tired.

This past year - 5781 - SO MANY significant experiences - what a year it has been! In October Bill and I celebrated our 40th anniversary with a ZOOM party! It was amazing! November - we welcomed a brand new addition to our family - Nadav on Nov 22 to Michelle, Barak and Gideon - another ZOOM event for the Bris - December, Happy Birthday/Hanukkah ZOOM once again - with the entire family all over the country. We lit candles to light up a very dark world from coast to coast! January, I was hired full time for Anderson Merchandisers - working at 6/8 different Walmart stores - still there today. February, FINISHED VASHTI'S DAUGHTER - first draft BEFORE PURIM! After 10 years, the "baby" was born! Tandy was hired first as a flight instructor with no pay, THEN full time Simulator instructor with Commuter Air - FREE FLIGHTS with United once again - except there's no where to go, no time to go anywhere and for now we still have to wear stupid masks. Bill got a little job with Hallmark that didn't work out - so he started collecting unemployment WITH the added $300/week - AND won $2,500 with Publishers Clearing House (FINALLY got the check) AND this past month I "sold" my 3 novels to a non-exclusive digital publisher in Singapore for $50 each! Yes, there has been a LOT of "good news and money" since I changed my answering machine!

A significant experience in the past year is hard, it's been a significant year. I am going to plump for getting vaccinated - it's left me relieved, for sure!!

My husband had a serious blood infection for three weeks and I was very worried. After receving IV anti-biotic and a blood transfusion, he began to slowly but steadily recover his health last week. This week our oldest grandson and his girlfriend are visiting us in Switzerland from the US. He is going to propose to her today (a secret only we know). So, I am relieved about my husband and thrilled about our grandson!

My beloved Pastor died this past Monday from COVID! I am saddened that we lost such a great man of God, but I’m also thankful that I got to know him and be touch by the love God working through him.

Mum died Relieved

I had Covid 19, and was really ill and struggled with breathing, energy, loss of taste, and it was terrifying. Getting covid was really frustrating as I followed all the rules, wore my mask all the time, and hadn't done anything fun or travelled. Or seen my family. So I was very angered/frustrated by people close to me who were flouting the rules and not suffering any repercussions. Especially when I was very ill, and just exhausted. It was terrifying and I did reduce the severity of how I was suffering to my doctor who would call to check how I was progressing. My biggest fear was having to go to the Catalan hospital and being unable to understand anyone, or be understood, and being all alone without Marta. I still feel very out of breath sometimes with no reason, and I feel strange about tomate concentrate doble now, after making tomato soup when I was ill with Covid, and being unaware I couldn't taste it properly, and just adding more and more concentrate until it was disgustingly strong. A reminder how trauma makes your body more susceptible to being weaker against these sorts of things. A strange year. We adopted Olivia Catman, an abandoned kitten in November, and it was so lovely to have a tiny being to focus my energy on taking care of. When we first got her she was so diddy, fitting in the palm of my hands. So scared and hissing every time we went close to her. The person we adopted her from told us she would hiss even when she was enjoying being fussed, so it made sense for the dramatic vibe of our house. She is so beautiful and lovely, and has transformed our lives in so many ways. Marta can't believe how much we love and adore her. She is a loveable stalker, she follows me room to room, and when we are in the lounge she will stretch out and nap near us, always in close proximity. When I use the bathroom she comes to see me and ask for attention. She even noses in on us when we shower haha. She loves time on the balcony, which I transformed into a garden last year and this past year I planted tomato plants, rhubarb, oregano, so many things! Some have lived and others not, and it has taught me a lot about patience and kindness, and taking it slow. Olivia loves when I am potting new seedlings, she gets herself covered in dirt and chases clumps of it around. The big pot of lavender had to be repotted as she has grown as she likes to curl around the base of the plant and nap/watch the neighbourhood/stare at the pigeons. Also the big succulent trees as well. There is an issue with how much she loves the spinach I have just planted, as she thinks it's great to lie down on. Despite slowly recovering from Covid, Olivia has made my year a joy. So many discoveries about how she impacts our behaviour, from encouraging me to spend more time outside, and time resting too, to not wanting to fight with each other in front of her, which defuses fights about silly things before they even start. A darling lovely kitten. A happier life.

This past year I took the job at Yavneh being a lead teacher for WeVideo. I also taught yearbook. It was an experience. I was then shown that I was not given the opportunity to teach the following year. I have no moved to NY. I have been more proactive in dating. I have started in search of a new community and trying to find a way to connect again. It has been hard but its the right place for me. I loved living alone. My place looked amazing. I loved it. Some would say even a little too much.