How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?
I'm working really hard on literally putting my house in order. I'm hoping that once I have things a little more organized and settled at home, it will help me feel more in control. I'm hoping to lose more weight and build my independent practice.
I would like to avoid even entertaining potentially difficult or dramatic connections with new people. Been there done that. I'm typically open-minded and gracious to everyone when I first meet them. It's a bad habit of mine to gamble, wondering if someone has more character than they're showing. Usually, my first impressions are spot on, and I should listen to my instincts better.
I would like to improve myself in various ways. I want to continue to grow professionally - and to determine if the work that I am doing at the Jewish Federation is truly a path that I want to continue on. I want to continue working with a therapist to better my confidence and communication skills, and to better understand myself. I want to increase and expand my Jewish literacy.
I'd like to be more settled in my career, as well as focusing more on self-care (eating, sleeping, exercise, etc.)
More understanding than I have today that things are not under my control. I control and influence very little. That doesn't mean I don't do what I should do, what I need do and say "oh it's not under my control". More insight into Sanathana Dharma (Hindu Philosophy) - this has helped me cope with the deep deep grief of the unexpected loss of my infant daughter.
In the face of despair, rather than identify as an optimist, I want to actively cultivate an attitude and practice of hope. In his Haggadah, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks writes, “Optimism is the belief that things will get better. Hope is the belief that, together, we can make things better. Optimism is a passive virtue, hope an active one. It takes no courage - only a certain naivety - to be an optimist. It takes great courage to sustain hope.” When I figure out how, I'll let you know!
I'd like more peacefulness, less screens, more calm time in the next year. After Nov. 3 I hope to feel more at ease in the world and be more intentional with how i live. So much of what i looked forward to moving to Bend was about being "intentional." I'd like to see that through. Being thoughtful / patient/ slower / gentler. But also LOUDER FUNNIER BRAVER
My answer from last year still applies to this year. My shoulder issues have continued, preventing me from being able to do yoga. However, a friend today suggested I speak with the instructor about alternate moves. Why didn't I think of that?!! My Mussar studies have increased. In fact, I organized a study group, took a couple classes and began a study partnership. This year I would like to improve my activities towards changing my career potentially to becoming a Life Coach. I hope to continue working with a coach to explore these options.
The piece of advice I was given is to lead one’s life with a written intention. I have begun the work and written one possibility. I would like to have it refined and practiced daily by this time next year.
Embrace the largeness inside you. And enjoy the gifts the world brings to you.
Rise when alarm goes off for 1st setting. Be patient with everything wether inanimate or animate. Be tolerant. No advise of counsel received.
Always be honest. Period. Be up front. Listen to your heart.
I would like to take the windfall we received and invest it, setting ourselves up for a financially secure future. I really appreciate my uncle taking me aside and telling me to get some advice on this topic.
I’d like to think that I’ve been doing a lot of mental growth. My temper is better, my temperament is better, and I feel like I’m able to form better relationships with the people around me. I don’t know if it makes sense, but I feel like I’m more genuine than I have been in the past. For the next year, I want to keep that trend moving in the right direction. I’m finding my way into this new “adult” mindset, and it’s a lot less stressful than what I’ve been living with for the past thirty four years.
- Let my feelings be my teachers. - Focus on the primary, not the secondary, feelings. - No wrong way to have a body. - Wait for patterns to truly emerge; avoid turning two data points into a premature pattern. Things change a lot.
I reflected in one of the earlier questions about wishing I'd left my job earlier in 2019to make the shift to employment that suits me better. In one of the later questions, I anticipated that I might have another opportunity to let go of a paying gig to make more space for my emerging private practice work. I advise my 2021 self not to delay on that when the time comes. You may think that you are doing a kindness to the employer, or you need the security of the employer, but are you perhaps just afraid to step boldly up onto the next stage of your growth?
I can play more trumpet now! Practicing scales and can reach a high E. I also got some mutes and they make me sound nice.
I would like to remember things better. My lapses in memory show me so vividly that I am aging--more than physical changes--and I so want to keep my mind sharp as I grow older. I am considering ways to improve my memory--perhaps meditation, focus exercises...I need to make this a priority in the coming year.
In general - to let go a bit, things do work out eventually, even if they don't feel like it at the moment. Don't make snap judgment or create black and white situations. There is always nuance in everything and it's not because you walk 5m in one direction that that's where you have to walk to for the rest of your life. It's healthier to adopt a "design thinking" approach to certain things. Small increments, quick changes in function of how you feel.
You want to dance more. Have you been dancing more?
I'd like to stop pining for a life that I don't have and learn to live within the perimeters of the life that I do. We don't make enough money to afford the house that I want or to take the vacations that I want or buy all the things that I want. At the same time we are lucky that we are as well off as we are. I need to accept what I have and learn how to live within it.
I would like to continue to manage my stress and all the ancillary things that go along with it. I've definitely improved my outlook since moving to Santa Cruz and slowing down because of the pandemic restrictions. I still feel overwhelmed, but I think I am learning how to better manage stress and not let it get the best of me. Part of that is being able to recognize what is my part of a particular issue or conflict, rather than taking it on completely and thinking it's all my fault.
I'd like to enjoy a restful and yet invigorating vacation with my husband and maybe our child to nourish our souls.
Be more patient and kind with myself. Be more vocal about my thoughts/what I'm going through - the way to end mental health stigma is to speak up about it, because others are going through it too. Stop suffering alone in silence. Stop needing to be strong all the time. Stop being everyone else's Tower. And stop being proud of that aspect of myself. Let go a little. It's okay. It's okay not to be okay. It's okay to get help and not just be the help.
I would like to start putting myself first and start valuing myself again.
Next year I would like to live my life guided by love. This is still a work in progress, that I continue to improve on.
I'd like to have my full driver's license, definitely. I'd like for us to have bought a house, somewhere to think of as a permanent home. And absolutely - this is a must!! - I'd like to be in a different job. Two pieces of advice/counsel: 1. When you walk in love, you walk in power. 2. A ship in the harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
The one I always come back to: This too shall pass. Also, that life is short, we are a blip and nothing matters as much as you think it does.
I would like to let go of a race to food for comfort when I am feeling overwhelmed, sad, angry or frustrated. I think a sugar free diet will help with this Advise- knowing that I am lovable and to continue being a loving being. I saw this in how so many people rallied to support me when I was evacuated during the fires here.
Girl, listen to 2019 Stephen. Search your email. She had some sage words for you, mama. I guess, learn to love yourself. I (past you) am suffering right now because... I don't know why. Because I don't love myself enough to let myself exist without trying to manage my impact, explain my words... with my words... check and double-check that everything is good and I didn't hurt anyone's feelings and I made the right choices... I really do think this comes from a lack of self love because if I loved myself I would trust myself enough to just be. Work on that. Just be. Grant yourself the permission to exist.
I absolutely need to take better care of myself. My weight in particular is starting to impact my asthma and both are affecting my quality of life. I just need to do this... somehow
It is more important to focus on what I do as a professional. It is more important for it to be aligned to who I am. I need to give important to that more. Also, there is a lot of ignorance around due to filter bubble. People are made stupid through algorithms rather than they being stupid from the word go, so empathy is the key to fighting hatred.
I want to become a better teacher. One of the great things about being in education is that you never finish becoming a good teacher. There are always untapped ways to reach students and inspire them. Every new, unfamiliar scenario is a new opportunity to role model, guide, and nudge the students closer to having life skills, self-esteem, interpersonal skills, and self-mastery.
I need to protect my physical and mental health. I will improve both when I quit my job and take care of my body. I am so much better when I am exploring my artwork and being more physical rather than working with clients which becomes way too emotional. I can’t think of a piece of advice I have received, maybe it is yet to be revealed.
I've been pretty consistent with exercising the past five months so continuing on that path is one goal. De-cluttering my life is a necessity. Clear out all the unnecessary Stuff. Simplify. Perhaps by decluttering my house I can declutter my mind in the process. My daughter insisted I check out a You Tube video which turned out to be about Project 333 - a minimalist wardrobe. I guess she was trying to tell me something.
Similar to the whole balance thing, one of the random teaching quotes that has stuck with me was during the lecture on GATE kids and perfectionism (dat me!) where the lecturer was kind of poking fun at these people for working too hard and trying to do too much (also me!). She said, "Good enough is sometimes good enough." The simplicity really stuck with me and sometimes I repeat it to myself to remind myself that I can only do so much, be on top of so much, and put so much time into something. Like this thing for example - I love 10Q and look forward to it every year, but I have not had a spare second to write anything or plan my answers like I normally do. It's been a nagging thing in the back of my brain and today is the final day to get in my answers. Good enough is good enough. I'm not going back and checking my spelling or grammar or if I forgot anything! Good enough is good enough.
I would like to continue working on managing my irritability in the coming year. I am fortunate, my life is going well and I am so grateful. I have received feedback from my partner that I can be very quick to irritation and I am also aware of this, so I hope to better manage my stress and emotions.
I want to continue to refine my boundaries. Stay open minded but not trust/give out chances as easily. I'll continue to speak up for myself even if conflicts may rise.
Daily living out my life's purpose. Slaying the "fear dragon" and quieting the voice of fear that's loud, obnoxious and untruthful. "Perfect is for the broke"- go out there and serve your tribe and community even if you don't have all the answers.
I would give myself this advice: Do not despair. Instead, focus on the positive. Take in the joy. Help others.
Working on my patience (especially w my family). I get so stressed (easy to do) and frustrated when I feel I’m not being heard. If I can stay calm though, it’ll change the temperature in the home.
I'm working on losing 100 pounds, and I'm about 30 pounds in. This time next year I hope to be in much smaller clothing and feeling more confident in my body. (And hopefully documenting this on the podcast.)
More exercise, more art making and experiencing, a new and better housing situation. Advice: It will all be okay; Eat.
Work to make a life and not just a living :)
Setting goals for completing projects that are fun to work ON and ALSO fun to finish. Celebrate wins more pronouncedly, set regular deadlines for finishing work, make a big deal of the things that I/you do.
I think I need to be more open to counsel in general. Be willing to be vulnerable to others and my partner. Seek out perspectives that may be hard to swallow. A lot of us could use that kind of fearless community / communal support.
THIS YEAR I HAVE FINALLY MANAGED TO DO MORE EXERCISE! I now 'work out' at least three times a week, sometimes four. It's a difficult sometimes to motivate myself but I'm always glad I did it. For next year, I'd like to work on my confidence, my sense of purpose, and my conviction. I often find it difficult to put my opinions forward in a coherent way, particularly if I feel uncertain in them, or intimidated by who I'm talking to. I'd like to be more aware of the value of my opinions and my experience, and to stop second guessing myself.
Eat less and exercise more Lust less and love more Hold your nerve
I'd like to continue to lose weight and work on my career. I may even take the time to actually start writing that novel.
Sing a lot more.
I dont think I've done the softening I wanted to do last year (seems like starting a wish for the future with a criticism of the past is a good example of that). It's clear I still could soften with myself and especially (of course, they're related) with others. I still judge, want to control, want to be right - it's still such a challenge for me to listen, understand, and accept.
I'd like to continue feeling appreciative for what I have in life. I'd also like to continue to keep free time during my week, and not be tempted to double or triple book. But, most importantly, I'd like to get my body and mind healthy and balanced enough to get pregnant and enjoy life.
You are resilient. You are strong and can handle anything, and "this too shall pass." (even if that feels so untrue right now!)
I want to work on my self worth. I’m so mean to myself, all the time. Sometimes literally beating the shit out of myself. It’s exhausting. I think about dying a lot, how it would make things easier. But I don’t want to believe that. I hope to practice and become better at self compassion. I want to believe that I matter and make a difference, if not for the world then for the people in my life. I know if I keep working with my therapist I can get there, it will just take time.
Eventually, I'd love to resume losing weight. Pandemic makes the shopping for keto incredibly challenging, so we stopped, and the extra weight I'm carrying doesn't feel great. That said, my body awareness has overall changed for the better; every time I feel like I've gained all of the weight back, I step on the scale and it turns out I've maybe gained 5-10 pounds (this fluctuates, it's not a constant gain). I'm still hovering right around 315 pounds, which is more than I want it to be, but not even close to where I was at the beginning of 2018 (389 pounds).
Take whatever opportunities come my way. Don't be scared to put myself out there. Do what makes me happy.
I want to continue to approach every interaction with love. Boy, is that not as easy as it sounds! I was leaning in that direction, but it was my dear friend, Martha, who drove it home. My brother had stopped talking to me. I was quite hurt, and honestly, angry. My dad wanted us all together for a family occasion. Martha told me to tell my brother that I loved him. I knew immediately that this was the right answer, though it was so hard to do! That was November. It worked and we have had a workable relationship ever since.
Him:Exercise more intensely. Stay with an exercise program. Continue to control my gout. I hope these all help improve my cardiovascular system. And my joints (knees). So that one of the benefits would be noticeable-to-me wait loss. And I could get rid of the CPAP (i.e., kick the CPAP habit). Her: I am about to embark on joint counseling for the first time (not counting with that last lousy doctor. That wasn't long lasting anyway). I think this will lead to a deeper relationship with less questioning. It might lead to a physical move. I cannot think of any advice or counsel I have received in the past year at all.
In 2018 someone told me to PAUSE. I've been practicing that ever since, marveling at how insanely difficult it can be. Musically, I understand: pausing is part of my thing. Socially? Professionally? I'm very inexpert, completely aware of that, and committed to small victories.
I always feel better when I'm more active. I need to keep this energy going!
I would like to build up my support network and my sense of rootedness in community. This is especially hard during a pandemic, but I am so tired of feeling alone. The advice I would follow is just to reach out and trust that others will be there when you ask them to be.
Prioritize my health. For the past 4+ years, I've lived in pain and haven't allowed myself to explore all options. I just started physical therapy and I'm hopeful she can help. Second, I'm focusing on my skincare. My skin has... made me feel less than, lack confidence, feel embarrassed and ugly. So, I'm investing in it now.
i'd like to continue to excel at my career. i'm finally at the point in my life where i'm feeling good about the work i'm doing. i love the organization and what we do. i love my position and the confidence our executive director continually instills in me. i'm slowly but surely learning all of the things surrounding local government and i'm looking forward to the day that i can actively participate in the dialogue surrounding municipal matters in alaska.
I want my less-anxious, medicated self to open to a more heart-engaged self with creativity and politics and family and friends.
I want to get the hell out of my comfort zone and do things that excite & terrify me. I want to take bigger risks and leaps when it comes to putting myself out there because life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
The same things I always want to improve myself...walk/bike/swim more...eat less. Advice? "Confidence is sexy"... my self loathing doesn't draw anyone in.
I’d like to discuss things and not need to feel defensive, to listen to learn without applying so much to myself. I agree, I agree Let me extend the generosity of seeing the best in and giving second changes to myself. Don’t close your eyes to the big things and squint them on the little things
Work on making a psychologically safe space for coworkers, and being a person that is known for that.
I would like to free myself from a lot of things. One of those things is consumerism. I've been wanting to buy less or to at least buy it more ethically for some time now, but it's hard when it's easy to feel temporarily good buying a shitty little decoration (feeling bad about it comes when I have to throw it away). I think that's something I would like to improve myself with within the next year.
* Keep to your schedule, but in that schedule you must include both personal AND family/friend time: * Schedule time to work on the important things every day, * Schedule something new to do together at least once a month, Expand your capabilities and bonds through new activities, learning, experiences, and see how your vision of yourself and your dreams change. * Meet and interact with new people every week, Broaden your circle, * Go on short day or weekend trips at least twice a month, Know what's around you and interact with people there, * Do two or three quarterly overnight/weekend trips, and, at least one trip to a different country a year. **BONUS FOR one where you don't know the language or customs. ONLY EAT, PLAY, COMMUNICATE WITH, and DO, AS THE LOCALS DO . See how your fit into the larger region and the world. To appreciate differences, you must act differently, don't do your own thing in a different location or you lose the benefits of their collective wisdom and your own understanding of yourself and your place in the world. * Show interest, respect, and patience to all. *
I don't want you to worry. You're doing everything right, as near as we can tell. Don't carry it all. Do what you can do and then walk away from it. Hold everything much more lightly.
I plan on taking some time off from work and maybe even quitting work so I can go all-in on this farm and the farm experience for people.
I would like to be a more loving, forgiving, and understanding wife; to develop and strengthen my relationship with God through the Holy Spirit; to trust in myself that I am more than capable of doing the good work of our business without feelings of inadequacy; and to finally let go of my issues with body image and house pride.
I want to find a way to be more patient with my daughter and to continue to be her friend as she goes through adolescence. I can't think of particular advice, but do want to remember that she is her own person. Maybe it's Khalil Gibran/Sweet Honey in the Rock: Your Children are not Your Children ....
Work hard, work smart, make every day count for family, work, church, and country. Speak up.
I want to be working remotely, at least part-time. I want to have a little more focus in regards to career. I want to feel fulfilled. I want to meet a guy and fall in love. I want to know it's love. I don't want to have to guess or convince myself. I want to feel well -- and not afraid to eat. Best advice I received? "Maybe you aren't something to conquer. Maybe you are something to just be."
It would be good either to renovate this house to make a wet room and office/bedroom downstairs, or fix the house and sell it and buy a new one. I need more space- and this house has sad memories. I need to move on, let the past lie, so would like to move. The Covid crisis has made it difficult to think in terms of selling this house. The Morrissey course has been inspiring but not sure how it fits into my life at this stage. I'm not very motivated. When I think 'you should be inspired and motivated' I just ask myself why? Who cares? All I want is for others to be happy and free of the delusion of life. I guess there is nothing to do but try and root out all evil and discord in my mind. For my whole life I always ask- why are we here? What is it all about? Is this the only choice we have?
This past year has shown the fragility of life. I need to spend my time on things that I value, bring me joy sad satisfaction.
What will you do with your one precious life?
I'm thinking a lot about Taoism. I think there are some important principles for me to learn on that path and I hope it improves mine and my family's lives. Understanding the nature of Tao and following the watercourse way is the kind of advice that's resonating with me. So different from the type of thing I normally seek out, which is all about gaining more control and power.
A cliche but to get out of my own way, be bold and expect success but face rejection
You know, I'm doing pretty well. I am, for the first time, feeling very contented in my skin. I always want to work out more, get more work done, be kinder, etc. But even in this time where I'm not working out at all- a new one for me, and I'm taking it slow, I feel like I'm getting a handle on what's my business and what's other people's business and I feel really good about my business. I don't need to improve.
Hopefully, heal.
Embrace the Chaos. It's my motto for school and home life. Hoping I can weather the terrible political strife to come.
I would like to no longer be angry at everything.Do not let it bother you.
I would like to use RBG as a role model to help me remember that I can have a positive impact on the lives of other people, even though I sometimes feel like what I do is inconsequential. I would like to be more aware of the influence of my actions, and conversely inaction. It’s not enough to have a positive attitude a out the future. There are ways that I can help to bring that about.
get motivated to do physical things and actually do them establish relationships with new people advice- I don’t have to know the end result or have all the steps planned, just plan the first step and achieve it
I would like to be a better parent. I would like to be a better spouse. Specifically, I would like to shout and yell less. I would like to swear less. I would like to develop more patience. I would like to develop more resilience. I would like to develop a greater sense of gratitude.
I want to keep getting better at believing in the good things about me, about cultivating a deep sense of inner confidence. Tuning in and maintaining sense of awareness of what is happening around me, feeling the feelings, working towards the answers.
I want to me more bold in going towards what I want. Something about living abroad in a sometimes aggressive culture has brought out a timid side in me, and I want to learn to overcome that. I know I have so much to give to the world and that I get in my own way. I want to get out of my own way.
I want to put my phone down more and develop a new hobby. I have been baking a lot, but I would like to do something with less calories!
I would like to learn to anticipate bad moods and isolate myself until they pass.
Yeah. Next year I want to put my soul into what I do and have fun with it! I want to complete projects that show who I am, and be happy with the results.
I want to just keep trying to be grateful for what I have and live in the moment and relinquish control. At first, I was going to write how I wanted to work to get back to a place where I feel stable and in control, but I think that's sort of an illusion and unattainable anyway. It doesn't last if it even is attainable. So I'd rather try to live with less resistance, to be able to just roll with it when I am destabilized, when something big happens to throw me off or out of whack. I want to live without wishing to go back to what I was before or to resist the ways life's hardships change you.
I'm so happy with my life it's hard to imagine improving it...of course, eliminating the covid virus would help.
I'd like to find more healthy balance in my life - Food, movement, relationships, autonomy. The needs/qualities I wish to pursue are Connection to others, Groundedness/Connection to self and Clarity.
I would like to be more active next year. I want to do more hikes and more camping. COVID has kept us from going out and the fires have kept us from enjoying nature. Next year I want to take advantage of the parks, lakes and forests near us as often as I can.
Focus!! I want to know what I want to do next. I also want to know more about my role in society.
I reread what I wrote as my goals for self improvement last year - they are the same and part of a continuum. The only thing I learnt is that its not about having more time (I had a lot of time during the pandemic and I didn't move forward on my goals) its about having someone to help you and about booking a set time to do the things that are important. I realized that it wasn't about a lack of time but a lack of desire and method to address the things that needed to be done.
I would like to not get lost in Bobby’s “aura”. He’s very much a type A, and I usually just let him have his way or his opinions because it takes a lot of effort to be me, especially if it doesn’t quite go on the same direction as his flow. However, I’ve found myself kind of losing myself, and then shining again when I’m around a friend. I need to find that balance. Otherwise, I’ll become a shell.
I would always like to take more time for mindfulness, yoga, and walking. I probably won't, though. I always say that. I struggle between wanting to improve and do better and monitor and track and accomplish and do - and just be and accept.
Make time to enjoy life - it is not all about goals, no matter how noble they are.
I want to get in the best shape I can be , so I can do the activities I want and not be limited physically. I have more completely realized how fortunate I am, in love, financially comfortable, good family and friends, stress free, and I was fine dealing with the covid.
I would like to be more disciplined. I'd like to take my own advice and not wait around for things to change on their own.
From the online insight meditation retreat -- "May I love myself unconditionally exactly as I am." There have been moments when I've caught a glimpse of this being a possibility. Very liberating. For sure a work in progress.
• Get my grandfather’s family tree entries into my own and wind up that part of the family history project • Compose more hymns with Sibelius • Write some more poetry – publish next book and perhaps an omnibus • Make more use of the BBQ and Pizza oven as part of utilising the new back yard piazza, as a means to: o Share our home and ourselves more with family, friends and neighbours • Exercise more community spirit – be a better citizen / break out of the Introverted shell a little more. I’m happy being introverted, but its chief characteristics are not entirely consistent with the disciple the Master wants me to be
There's this little piece of paper on my desk that says, "that which hinders your task is your task," and I felt like I didn't understand it for a long time. Now I think it means to get the stuff that's in your way out of your way so you can do what matters. And I think it also means to do SOMETHING to get closer to doing the thing that really matters. Do something, don't get stagnant. But do rest. Rest is not stagnation.
I would like to have begun the process of curating an impressive friend network. I need to be intentional about it. It has been a passive area of my life and one I will need to embark on changing to the better.
A piece of advice from senior year of college resurfaced for me this year: "In the end, everything is ok. If it's not ok, then it's not the end." I've also been trying to live by the mantras, "everything is always ok. I am always ok," and "I am worthy because I breathe; I am valuable because I live." I would like to allow myself to drop into my heart and drop my armor more this year. I want to remind myself to try to show up with love and be love. I would like to continue coming into my whole self, and actualizing my love for myself.
Hearing how much of a role model I am to Michelle has been very impactful for this. It makes me want to be better in lots of ways. My mom told me when I moved out that I have good instincts and should trust them. I don't feel like I've internalized that yet.
Finding and maintaining a strong relationship over the past year has really helped with my emotional wellbeing. This year, I would like to become more healthy and accomplished overall. It is difficult to stay in decent shape being trapped indoors all the time, but that is a definite goal.
I would like to be better about the ways I spend my time. I truly feel my best when my week has several evenings free. I love seeing my friends! But it can be exhausting if I don't set proper boundaries for myself. I want to be better about that.
When there's something important to do, do it. Trust your personal sense of timing.
This year I have been taking care of myself like I never have before. Intermittent fasting is showing me I can control something in my life. Three months and holding strong, fat is dropping off my belly. That has to be healthy. Six yoga classes a week, strength training 2-3 times a week. Creating, I hope, lovely succulent gardens front & back. Wildflowers filling one third of the backyard bringing joy everyday of masses of flowers. There is no one piece of advice I can cite, but the general calm and love I get from Tamela, my main yoga teacher. I am also so much calmer because I don't have to deal with PEOPLE. I was born to be a hermit. I hope that once I can, or have to, join the masses again, that I'll be more patient & loving. I think I'm having an easy time with quarantining is that I don't have FOMO. There's nothing happening that I'm missing out on. It's so nice.
Live more in 𝘯𝘰𝘸... There are too many pieces of helpful advice to recount here, but there's something to learn every day - it's a continuum.
Be positive and the kind of person you love being around. I find myself slipping into self-indulgent complaints because I'm too lazy to find and express the joy around me. I am so lucky. I can find energy and share it to make other people feel great.
I would like to have more calmness before I speak - especially to my brother Mitch and to my husband.
How would I like to improve myself? It's really a consolidation of previous answers: be healthier, come back to me, rebuild confidence (by doing Hard Things), chip away at home projects, be more proactive at work... I think the one piece of advice that has resonated recently is 'Be her now'. Don't put off being the best version of myself. When I'm feeling lazy, or discouraged, take a moment to consider what the best version of me would do, then do that. Wear the bloody frock you're saving for best. Go for the run. Be her now.
Years ago, when I was grieving the loss of my mother, a friend told me, "You never get over a loss this great, but you do get through it." I know I was asked about a piece of advice/counsel I received in the past year, but this is the big one that came to mind.
I would like to get myself on a better track with having a career, with retirement, and with my attendance to my health (doctor, dentist, etc). I would like to be more conscious of working toward inclusiveness in the dance world and social justice in general, and keep that central to how I operate and interact. I think the best piece of advice I need to stay centered on is that it all hinges on trust. Building trust is the number one step to making meaningful change in the world, the number one step to having an impact on someone in a true and lasting way. I need to be trustworthy with myself so I can be trustworthy with other people.
Speak more , fear less, be a better calmer wiser ally
I would like to improve myself ,by this time next,by have the rough draft of a book in my possession.My counsel from God is to pursue His will for my life daily.
One of my rabbeim recommended that I do the smallest, most sustainable thing I could do - that it was better to do the small thing than fail at the larger thing. This turned out to be very good advice. I'd like to follow it as much as possible and do everything in manageable, incremental ways. I'll know if it's working because things will become accomplished.
I would like to be more financially stable. I would like to be less emotionally dependent on buying stuff to make myself feel better.
Still trying to be healthier and more calm, as always. This year has involved a lot of routine so my anxiety has been pretty low overall. I'm always interested in learning new things so new knowledge is always welcome. Broadening the mind never hurts!
i think i've realized that if i decide to and i work on it, i can change the things that stop me and hold me back. i've been trying to cultivate an attitude of curiosity and uncertainty about new experiences, a 'see what happens'. i would like to continue that
I want to continue to work on eating healthy and exercising. My body image is very much so tied to how I treat and care for my body, and I would like to continue to strengthen this area of my life.
I would like to get back on track with exercise, daily guitar practice, and cutting out liquor. I think that's about it. I get advice and counsel all the time from podcasts I listen to. They have improved my life quite a lot.
I want to be a patient and instinctual mother. Someone told me to trust my gut always as a mother and also to not have unrealistic expectations of others looking after him as no one would do everything just how I would
I would like to try to be less judgmental and controlling. I know that I like things done a certain way and I would like to try to "let it go" and realize that other's ways might be different, but also good. Perhaps it doesn't always need to be my way.
I want to exercise more. I honestly think Sarah's tip of the peleton app might be the key. We'll see. This is what I always say.
I'd like to continue drawing on my inner knowing and faith to guide me on my path, which seems to become clearer and more beautiful everyday. I want to keep a gratitude journal and have a closer relationship with gratitude. My therapist frequently reminds me of my knowing and I like remembering that.
Every year i have pretty much the same unfullfilled aspirations as the year before.. The themes are always around weight loss, crystallising my passion, trying to figure out what is MY gift, and channeling into a vocation. This year - Im going to actively step away from naming the improvement - and chime into words I heard by Oprah: "There is an energy field and a flow. We are either in flow or out of it. The flow is in direct proportion to the centre of yourself, where God abides. Where universal energy abides. Where the divine within you abides. How far you are from the centre, from the divineness of yourself, from your connection to Source Energy - that which created you - is how out of sync you are with your life. Regardless of what you call it. When you can align with that - nobody can touch you. (One day your breasts are going to sag, your eyes are going to bag, and you're not going to be as beautiful. It doesn't last. Like the most beautiful flowering tree, everything pass, its Time) What is real, what is lasting - is who YOU are, and what you were meant to bring. What is the Gift YOU were meant to give. Nobody can take that away from you." These words are so powerful. I feel them at the core of my being and know that if I truly listen and centre myself again.... I will re-rememeber my gift, and finally have the opportunity to hone and share it.
I would like to improve myself in various ways. While last year these goals were al set in stone and due to unforeseen circumstances weren't met... This year I have a different set of goals. Health: Yoga, lose weight. Mental: Unplug, read. Creative: Write, create. --> Finish two manuscripts and compete at NaNWriMo again. Work: Set up my coaching business. - have a plan before end of the year.
I am now a parent of adults and I want to cultivate those relationships as such. It is hard with one foot in the parent camp and the other in the friend camp, but I think it is important to work toward that balance. Not sure if it is a tangible goal, but something to always work toward. Like a healthy marriage. It takes effort and not something one can just take for granted.
Live in the moment Keep quiet and solitary Not get too involved with the International picture - but stay basically informed
I want to keep reality-checking my expectations. I want to listen to a little more Brene' Brown (because she propels me toward a better future) and also a little more Alan Alda (because he connects me to my past). I want to prioritize talking to Valerie more, and do a tiny bit more yoga. I'd like to be gentle with myself, and supportive for Jacob, and do a little more learning. I'd like to continue to be flexible and innovative, but not be too hard on myself when I'm not. In the Yoga book (Yamas and Niyamas) that Valerie and I listened to, there was something about doing something every day that scares you. (Google reminds me that Elenor Roosevelt said that.) I'm trying to do more things that scare me. I also love my answer from last year. Being present.
Increasing my service commitments to CoDA and local political issues without sacrificing my personal well being will go a long way to helping me to improve myself and the way I show up in the world. "Progress, Not Perfection" is the mantra carrying me through this stage of my recovery from co-dependency. I have recently completed my first pass through of the 12 steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous. In the coming year I would like to continue my work on the steps via sponsorship of other members in need.
Hm I like my answer from last year; all of that stuff is still relevant. I suppose I want to stop feeling like I'm too young to be taken seriously, or at least I want to stop saying qualifying language about how I'm a junior staff person before stating an opinion. A lot of people do things before 30 and I don't have to keep waiting for a moment when I will feel qualified/like an adult because I don't think it will happen. Elissa gave the advice that the best thing one can do is take their ego out of their work, so I will try to continue to do that. Also, I appreciate the guidance of Ibram Kendi who said that cynicism is the antithesis of radicalism, because in order to change you literally have to believe in the possibility of change.
Maybe I can learn to be better focused when working and more efficient with my time, rather than jumping from the task I'm on to whatever is at hand. Also, if like to start making time for regular meditation again.
I would like be less fearful. I want to experience life deeply. This includes having more difficult conversations, learning about things that go against my set beliefs or biases, exploring new places, getting to know my community and deepening the relationships I currently have. This came from a conversation with Aaron Bean. His goal is to experience to life deeply, and as he says, enriching experiences can sometimes be difficult. I don't want to take my youth, energy and vibrance for granted. I think that's why I decided to take on the challenge of training and running a half marathon. I dislike running. But even after two runs I've shifted my outlook. It's become therapeutic. I'd like to hold onto this openness for new experiences for the next year.
Working on removing the clutter in my life. We got rid of half our stuff, and we need to do a bit more. It's exciting to move forward with less.
Last year I counseled myself to say "no" more often, and this year I had to do that, as when the pandemic hit, I was so consumed with supporting my family, friends, and current students and faculty that I had to tell a number of my former students that I didn't have time to talk with them. That was hard, and I still have a list of alums who I want to check back in with. But it was also good practice for me at setting boundaries and being gentle with myself for not being able to do everything (in fairness I also got depressed, so I can't say I was entirely successful). For next year, I would like to continue to be gentle with myself and others, having seen first hand how differently everyone has responded to this pandemic and this political moment. I felt judged for not marching or putting up a Black Lives Matter sign on my lawn, and that hurt, and I've felt anxious about managing shared outdoor meals (not wanting to presume what others are doing, for example). Overall, I think I've done a good job respecting people's different needs and not judging what others are experiencing. We never know what someone else is carrying, and that's something I am especially trying to remember this year. As one of my students said in a Zoom meeting today, I would like to "give myself grace" more often.
I am not concerned with my life. I am concerned with improving the lives of others. Mine is just fine thank you. But others don't have that privilege. My piece of advice came from Einstein: You cannot solve a problem by using the same level of thinking that created it.
Take better care of myself in all areas. Don’t just listen to parents or older folks, listen to your gut!!!
I would like to not suck so bad at my job. That would be the number one improvement. I am so tired of being a fucked up brain dead idiot trainwreck who keeps having problems, keeps struggling, keeps needing help. I have no advice or counsel that could guide me, other than "Just keep swimming." That's all I can do.
I want to reach a point where I am not struggling with sleep. My therapist has suggested (and it has helped!) that I build up more routine around sleeping!
I am still trying to become a calmer person and I have made some progress in the past year. I have recently started a program called Noom and it is helping me learn how to make life changes that will help me lose weight and ultimately be a healthier, happier person. It is a slow process, but I know I will be better for it.
Slow down a bit more. Cherish quiet time and prioritise time together with my family.
Have a purpose and make a difference.
I would like to be more honest in the moment, less defensive, and return to some lack of seriousness that i used to enjoy. Grow down self.
I want to learn to row. I want to really develop an exercise routine and stick with it. I want to become competent in more areas in math.
I’d like to continue working towards the goal of having more patience. I’d also like to be more present and enjoy moments with my children.
Intentionality -- thinking about my goals (e.g., family relationships, professional and self-improvement goals) and pursuing them mindfully. Piece of advice: NY Times parenting column -- "It's OK to be bored" (https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/18/arts/kids-summer-activities-virus.html). I think I should take this advice to heart for myself as well -- it is sometimes good to have "down time" mentally.
I would like to get my health on track. I recently watched a video in which a functional medical doctor said "think of sugar like a recreational drug" and that line has returned to me time and time again in the days since I saw it. I would like to experience my life and health and brain function with less sugar in my diet.
During this next year I want to become even more true to my authentic self and live firmly in that truth. I don't want to feel that I need to fit into others views of me but that they need to adjust their view of me to what is actually me.
Less procrastination. More openness. Enjoy NOW.
These are my personal goals for 5781: hitlamdut ~ ongoing reflective practice maintain daily meditation and sharing gratitudes over dinner, weekly mussar learning, listening to inspiring content, sharing what i am learning about myself with family, friends, and colleagues tzedek ~ pursue justice continue to learn and practice using my position of privilege to elevate and center marginalized populations, especially people of color menuchat hanefesh ~ cultivate equanimity get enough sleep, exercise daily, spend time in the park each week, carve out space for overnight retreats to unplug and renew rachamim ~ be kind and patient with myself keep reminding myself that i am enough; do not judge myself based on what i accomplish; focus instead on who i am becoming
I would like to get some exercise, keep my body moving. I would like to make better use of my time. I would like NOT to have my emotions and moods rise and fall with those around me. I would like to get better at having a positive outlook on the world and, perhaps, not be so pessimistic about humankind.
Stop drinking Get far away from her Get counseling and help (which I’m doing) Be healthy for your kids and yourself
The thing I’ve been working on for a few years at this point and I will continue to need to work on is accepting that life isn’t, and doesn’t have to be, that heavy. I don’t have to feel the weight of everything and everyone on my shoulders, I have the radical freedom to say and be whoever I want and to take with me only the problems I am willing to take on. It makes me feel free and light.
I began 2020 with a promise to myself that I wouldn’t drink for the whole year. This was the year I turned 54, the age my mother was when she died of her alcoholism. It was such intuition at work to take this step, to find soon that sobriety was the best place to be if you were also going to be in a tornado. There were definitely deeply uncomfortable days when I wanted to lose myself in the familiar fuzz of alcohol, a quick escape from fear and despair. But I had to figure out other solutions, and they were there. Making art, meditation, yoga, pranayama. Because I wasn’t drinking, I became the creative person I always knew I was. I believe that extending my sobriety would continue to improve my life.
This year I have been getting a lot of obvious and subtle signs that I need to work on my patience. I think that the most sound piece of philosophy was the one I got from Martin, that water always finds its level. When the seas are tempestuous, when there is extreme joy or extreme turmoil, it will always swing back. I'm not good at remembering that. I get caught up in the drama of the moment and feel like it will last forever, or that nothing will ever improve, and I need to remember that no extremes last and that patience is needed to make big changes. That the bad times are only temporary. There may be many of them, but they will be tempered with joy.
En este vida, hay una piedra negra y una piedra blanca. Tiene que escoger.
The guidance I have been receiving has all been "keep on going" or "one foot in front of the other" or similar. This is frustrating, as one wants to break through, but just keeping on seems like the right thing to aim for. I hope to keep going.
I'd like to enrich my friendship circle. Be more Janette - the big passionate welcoming side of her.
I did pretty good with the "let it go" mantra of last year, and this year I want to extend that recognize that I am so much better than most people recognize of me. It is their blinders that cause their perceptions and it is time for me to find a lover, co-workers, friends that see me and elevate me to where I see myself. We are the change we want to see - so I will be changing the "who's" to find the "what's" I am chasing.
I want to be less critical on myself. The voice in my head is harsh and mean- and I want to be able to either fight against that voice or make that voice not speak.
I am always trying to live by the advice of HH the 14th Dalai Lama, "Be Kind Whenever Possible; It's Always Possible." I continue to strive to do that.
Be more focused. Know what you really want to achieve for yourself. Give more time to yourself - you don't realise how little you are giving yourself at the moment.
Continue to let go of / stop focusing on the things you can't control. 2020 has expedited that practice tenfold - continue to find grace and patience in dealing with mom. Be patient with and kind with Alex and his own way of doing things - "your" way is not necessarily better, it's just different:) Be aware of your own unconscious biases and seek to understand / listen to others' story and plights.
Don't be ashamed to make the phone call or send the email. Push through the "pre-shame." Be friendlier. Volunteer. Get involved in something outside of work. Read more books.
My continual counsel is: So what? I'm still a rock star. I get it from myself. How I want to improve myself is to follow that guidance. Just a few weeks ago I received an ADHD diagnosis from the new therapist I'm seeing. The SSRIs I've used in the past have been moderately effective at what I now realize was that. But knowing what I'm treating will let me be more effective. So I want to seek the appropriate treatments to become a better version of myself. To better seek happiness.
I would like to take more initiative with housework and chores. I know that Aleeza works very hard and I want to make sure our home/work loads are fair.
One thing that I would like to improve is my connection to myself and spirituality. So much going on that we cannot change and I would like to work on acceptance and inner peace/happiness. I will always continue to give back through my job, volunteering, and continued allyship with groups who are being mistreated systemically. I want to continue to expand my understanding of different perspectives because I feel that is what makes us beautiful and special. "All will be revealed" to me means, we must accept the unknown, try not to stress about it, and try our best to enjoy the present moment.
I would like to work on acceptance. Accepting what I do and do not have control over. Accepting that I'm not perfect but am trying my best. Accepting that what others think about me isn't the most important thing.
I'm finally content in work and that's been a long time coming, yet there's a yearning, need, worry in the back of my mind that it won't last or that I'll be hurt again. Don't listen to it. Things are good. Ride this one out.
Don't wait until you're ready - do the thing anyway. No matter what it is. We don't know how many days we have and can't spend them waiting for something to end. If I could give more of my attention to the good, to what is going well, to the beautiful, I would be happy.
I have received so much guidance and wisdom over these months. I will strive to be present to my loved ones, to listen, to have a strong back and soft front, to find joy with what is...
I would like to spend more time outside. This seems really simple, but it does require me to find a place where I won't be disturbed - hard to do these days! But as I get older I feel the need to connect with nature more and more. I would also like to garden more, as I think that would do good for our environment.
I feel this past year I have been pretty bad with the marijuana use. I had been trying to limit when I use my vape pen, and found I couldn’t control myself. I had asked my partner to hide the battery for the pen from me except for the agreed upon days of the week, but since doing that, I would keep finding her hiding place and sneak some hits. I’m really unsure how to curb this behavior since I am acting like an addict. I mostly feel bad about the strain I am putting on my relationship with my partner. It also has been putting a strain on my productivity. I have not really received advice on what to do, but discussing the behavior with my therapist has at least allowed me to gain some perspective on my behavior. In the end, it’s going to come down to willpower.
Be nicer. Be kinder. Be gentler. Laugh more. Write every day.
Listen more than you talk. Be patient, with yourself and with others. Focus on the love. Make time for your self and for those you love.
I'd like to not expect other people to be responsible for my feelings, and not exude my emotions and anxiety to such an extent that it impacts other people. I have seen this at various points in my life and know that it feels like a burden, or manipulation to others - but it was brought to my attention in my exit interview by my boss. She sometimes felt like my feelings were expressed aggressively outwards - and for her to give this feedback was a big deal, so it is important for me to hear it again!
I would like to be more patient and a better listener. I would like to be motivated to get out and make a difference in the world ~ when I look back on the end of 2020, I want to be able to say that I've done my part to help create a world based on justice, peace, and equity.
I'd like to regain my health - physical as well as emotional.
I want to develop a really good balance in my life, between all my hobbies, school, family, and friends. I want to continue to learn in school, so I reach a point where I'm really comfortable with school, and I'm left with more energy to focus on hobbies and friendships.
There is probably much I could say about letting go of shame, of shyness, of insecurity. I honestly feel overwhelmed by this question every time I try to answer it, this year. I think I'm done with the concept of "self improvement." I love who and what I am at this moment, and I hope I will feel the same way a year from now.
My life is already wonderful--how to improve it? Maybe shed more stuff.
I want to use my energy and abilities consciously to add to the world and not just take up space or consume. I want to live in a way that allows me to do that consistently - to have the capacity to try hard, be compassionate towards others, respond rather than react, and reflect on what I do and what choices I make. I'm finding "How to do Nothing" really useful right now because it's very focused on questioning how we use our attention and energy, and whether we're doing that toward our own ends or toward ends set for us by capitalism.
I'd like to finish courses I started during the early part of the year, including at least one of the writing courses.
I would very much like to not think about "self-improvement" as it typically connotes an area in which one feels, or has been made to feel "lacking", and thus is compelled to "improve". Fuuccck that nonsense. For far too long I have been pressed into service in one way or another, caring for others, putting their needs far out in front of my own. Currently, I am satisfied that I am "improved " enough. I am a fucking saint made of pressed glass and tin. What I WOULD like in this coming year, is to spend large swathes of time doing what I want to do, with few constraints on my time. This year, as my health insurance no longer covers psychological care, I can't afford to see a therapist. Thus I have received no counsel or advice that would guide me.
The life design class I took last year really changed my perspective. It is hard for me to know what I want. But when you can take the time to figure out what that is- so much possibility is open and I am challenging myself to move towards each thing that I discover I want to have in my life.
I'd like to be in a place where I am unapologetically myself, but secure enough that I am able to put more energy into thinking about helping others. These days I can be pretty in my own head and sensitive. It's a balance.
Being more tolerant with others is the most important way to improve myself this year. I wish I had gotten that piece of advice that will help me, but it hasn't materialized yet.
I need to lose the 25 pounds I have gained in 6 months.
I would like to show myself the same love and care that I show others. I would like to be able to say that I truly love myself, and that when I make mistakes that it's ok. I want to be tough skinned when it comes to how I view the things I do in life, and to be less demanding of myself. I would like to build a life of love and gratitude. The stakes are high - how can I ask my children to truly love themselves if I am unable to do so myself? It's time to start taking the advice that I so willingly give to others and apply it to myself. "It's time to make my mind an ally, not an adversary"
(See question 6, too.) Sure, we all need to make certain compromises to make ends meet. But I’d like to stop using that excuse to not direct my life towards more urgent issues, and maybe even redirect the money-making work I do towards them.
Ideally, I would like to become a better writer and be more productive in terms of my career. I'd also like to be able to be a writer more publicly, like get the word out about the fact that I'm good enough. There are the longings to travel more and get out into the world, but for me it's also about finding purpose. I feel like when listening to Brene Brown about that, and encouraging that vulnerability by putting myself out there, will help tremendously. (And yes, I'd like to be more serious with someone in a relationship, but pandemic times does things to us.)
Shed the expectation that things be difficult and I must be serious and hard-working. Grow the expectation I be spending time each day relaxing, reflecting, enjoying, and that these activities are valuable and not to be cast aside the moment something is wanted of me.
I hope to judge less and accept more.
As already said, continue to lose weight to a reasonable level. Continue to discontinue alcohol. Appreciate my husband while I still have him.
Become more healthy. Become more cantered. Declutter my life!
I would like to read more. I don't know when or why I stopped but I spend so much time on the computer and so little time readings books. I want to exercise more and start to get outside more too. I want to be more engaged with things. COVID exacerbated it but the trend has been to just pass the time rather than really live the day.
Do what pleases you. The old zentangle proverb. I’m at my best when I’m pursuing the things that I’m most excited by and intrigued by. I’m making the most impact when I do the same as well. I have to prioritize this more and focus on myself. Because if I don’t, who will do it for me?
I would like to improve myself physically -- focusing on my physical wellbeing. While I used to want to work out for looks or to get a "six pack," I'm not focused on working out to purely stay healthy and keep my body strong and engaged. I want to be able to play sports regularly and have shorter recovery time when I do. I want to live pain free, and I want to need minimal trips to the chiropractor to keep me aligned and in check. No specific piece of advice or counsel I've received to guide me. All I need to do is think about the times I've been healthy and also how much better I have felt after finding routine with my exercises. I need to keep it going and I'll continue to feel better, day by day.
Be more confident doing my job, either where I'm at or somewhere new. Becky Tee said that by other people always providing negative feedback, they sacrifice your goodwill. And it's true - I'm now aware of that and can feel more confident that when things don't go well it's not always me.
Go forth with confidence; confidence in what you need, confidence in what you believe and confidence in who you are.
I need to go back to therapy. I loved my sessions and found so much use from talking about the things that were happening instead of repressing them. I am so bad about putting words to my emotions and I want to keep working on my fluency in discussing these things because I think it's critical to be able to say exactly what I'm feeling.
I would really like to learn to meditate more. I’m so disappointed with myself. Not doing anything with my life with all this free time. My life means nothing. I’m not helping anybody call and I am a burden to my husband. I’m surprise he hasn’t left me, but I do love him so.
I want to get in touch with my family, find better ways to communicate with them.
I would like to learn to budget my time better and make time for what is meaningful to me. Yes, my shvester's Kol Nidre sermon of doing the later.
I’d like to lose weight. It would improve my health. I’d like to invest more time into practicing and learning about qi gong.
Wow - I read what I wrote last year...while still pertinent, not where I am going with this question this year. This morning I found a memory of my backpacking trip around Mount Blanc. I wrote a post about it, which I think is important here. 11 years ago, I decided to join a backpacking trek around Mount Blanc. It was a 12 day trek, and I, for the most part, was slow, but able to finish each day. One day, the guide decided to alter the route to visit a glacier. he path was unlike anything I had seen - it was a boulder field. These boulders were almost as tall as me, and spaced close to each other. As I approached each group of boulders, I had to decide...do I try to go over the boulder or try to slide between them. I was very far behind the group, and exhausted...but finally made it to where the guide had stopped to wait for me. He asked me if he could help carry my pack to the summit...but I was determined to finish by myself, so I said no. As I approached the summit, everyone on top (who had reached the top hours earlier,) applauded. Life is filled with boulder fields. I think about this day often, especially when I have a challenging task or problem to resolve. It can be hard, and can be exhausting and can feel like it is all uphill, but you can't quit. You have to keep making a decision that will move you forward to the summit. And if there is no one on the top to break out into applause - do it yourself. You accomplished something really hard and deserve the congratulations!
Have never looked much to others for advice and counsel (which is probably my loss, but that's the way I am).
I am learning to keep my nervousness and stress away, yet still being as alert as ever. I'm learning not to dawdle and daydream, as my kid self has always been. They use a quota system at work and lately I am learning to really hustle and step up and I feel like I am growing and learning exponentially. I also want more confidence in myself.
I am continuing to reflect on who I am. It has been months and I still feel betrayed by immature passive aggressive 'mean girls' who lead to my being let go from my job. I am still hurt by this. I will continue to remember that there were/are people (residents) who truly liked me and still are concerned for my well being I have to remember I am a nice person. I have to believe something better is coming my way.
In the next year, I want to be able to focus on what is meaningful and do without what isn't. I do wayyyyyy to much and I need to prioritize and strategize where to focus my time, energy, and love. My friend, Kirstie, suggested I focus on me and that is one of my aims. I'm not sure I know how, but I suppose now is the time to learn.
Last year I told myself it was ok to be sad about the things I didn't get to do. My spouse and I recently spoke about this phenomenon of the doors of life closing as time truly passes you by in some respects. We were able to laugh about it much more this year. Hooray, menopause and andropause! They really lend perspective. I hope to be gentler, rounded, and give myself (and others) more grace in meeting where we are without judgement. I have never been good at showing up and want to continue the struggle I will never finish.
More art, more writing, say NO when you feel like it, Don't shrink away from things you need to say, just feel them say them do them be them! Do not wait for / ask for permission! Just be! big! Loud! Colorful! Or whatever it is that serves you! If you're focused on making things easy for others - always ask WHO. and why. Some people deserve your effort, or rather need it (eliminating "deserve" from vocab) - others don't.
I really want to find that mythical work-life balance and try to stave off my constant burn-out. I have to find a way to give myself permission to truly relax.
I’d like to find a balance between my goals, my mission and my health. To actually enjoy living.
You are so strong and worthy. Your opinion matters and you don't need to please everyone, like at all. Everyone does not have to agree or like you. Always be kind and take people's feelings into consideration but you do not need to please everybody. Stop agonizing over decisions and just make one. Trust God. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on what's important. One day at a time! Stop being so anxious. Let loved ones help. Don't put Alex's parenting down. Find positivity when down but also don't feel bad for feeling down.Contribute to society. Stay motivated but also find appreciation for the work you've done so far. Don't miss out on life while working so hard. Like last year, WORK when it is time to work, and RELAX when it is time to relax. I'd like to have a healthier relationship to money. I'd like to be brave enough to speak up. I like to have a healthier relationship with my appearance and no care so much about vanity. I'd like to push forward to finding or developing my dream job and not making excuses out of fear. I'd like to trust God more. I'd like to worry less and not let if pass me by like a checklist.
I want to improve my physical and spiritual health. I was told this past year that we are all on our own spiritual journeys and will get to the place we need in His timing
It's ok to ask for help and to help myself. I can't do everything on my own, and I have to remember to admit that sometimes. So I want to keep on trying new things and find systems and cheats and hacks that work for me. Even if it might make me look or feel weird in front of people sometimes. And this is the second part; that it's ok to look vulnerable in front of people sometimes and admit that I can't always do everything on my own. It's ok to ask for help. And it's ok to seek it out. I'm starting to try to be better at these things, but I also need to remember them as I go and not let this just be another moment that I forget about.
I'd like to increase my amount activity and lessen my latency. I want to build relationships and spend more time out in the world and less time watching tv
I want to gain more patience with the kids. More balance in my relationships. More motivation to do the things that I know will help me feel good in my body and mind.
I'd like to have more self-confidence when it comes to work. Have the courage to dedicate myself to ideas that I'm passionate about. Believe I can do greater things without comparing myself to others and thinking I'm not able to reach that far. Care more for things which other people lend me.
I am grateful for the unknown blessings already on their way. I will believe the truth about myself no matter how beautiful it is. Three Breaths. Make the process joyful. You're ready to engage with someone you're fighting with, when you can walk in ready to listen to them, not while you're still thinking about all the things you want them to hear from you. You don't need to reply immediately. You can wait a day to reply. Type your answer. Sit on it. Continue to volunteer for local campaigns, be an engaged citizen.
Visiting my parents. I listened to a brief audio about someone who broke it down into how many times per year they see their parents and then life expectancy. So, realistically, it's only 10 to 20 more times if I only go once a year. So, then the person said, so you don't have 10 more years with your parents, you have 10 more visits. That makes each one much more valuable, but also, I should visit more often to increase that number.
Continue getting to know my authentic self. Sit with my feelings. Don't fight them, don't encourage them, just be. -- paraphrasing of course...
I'd like to spend a few minutes in quiet reflection each day, being close with God, listening.
Reduction and focus. Focus on yourself. Take time to quiet down and listen to your own inner voice. Only keep 2-3 things on your plate at once. Work is love made visible, so make it real for yourself and the people who need it. Be yourself, and stay joyful on this ride.
I still struggle with anger and would like to effectively let it go. I'm not good at focusing it on the right target, and I'm terrible at resolving it. I can't seem get over past wrongs, and even though the anger is (mostly) justified, there's no point in hanging on to it. Reminds me of the story I heard in synagogue one year (and I've heard it other places as well) about how hanging on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal, waiting to throw it at your intended target - in the meantime, your hand gets burned. That's an old piece of advice that I've yet to figure out how to take.
Besides the "getting my own place", I want to be more independent from my emotions. From those ideas that I was raised into, about family and love. I want to break up the patterns of bad relationship after another. And from my answers, I think I would like to be a bit less pessimistic about my own love life, or my life in general
Maybe I'm wearing out on the self-reflection - or maybe I'm wearing out on this idea that we always have to be improving ourselves. It's such an unforgiving concept, like moving through our days the best that we can isn't enough, like being the person that we are isn't enough. Maybe my aim for self-improvement is to find more comfort with the sufficient, even if other people judge or question it. Why can't I just be enough?
Kvit your kvetching. Like that twitter comment - How's your day? "Meh" vs, "I have nothing to bitch about." Get better about taking the first step.
More regular contact with family and friends by all means available
I want to be gentle and generous with myself. I've recently, in just the past few weeks, begun to try to listen more intuitively to my body. I have my routines and they serve me well, and I also want to trust that my body knows what it wants and that if I listen to it, I'll be in greater alignment with myself and the world. So that's what I want to work on: paying attention to what I actually want and need, and living out of that truth. I am also discovering the Yamas and Niyamas through my yoga teacher training. I have felt so moved by descriptions of nonviolence and truthfulness. I want to live in truthfulness and practice it more actively. There are ways to be both truthful and compassionate, to speak from a place of truth but also seek to reduce harm. When I stand in my truth, I feel more alignment and peace. I know where I am and I do not feel shame.
At what cost to you? Make my peace with slowing down and stop fighting the world
I'd like to maintain work-life balance more - and not let work drain so much out of me that I'm useless by the time I get home. I want to refocus that priority. I would like to be more physically active than i have these past few weeks (OK, I know, first trimester exhaustion is REAL and it's INSANE). I owe it to this growing fetus and to myself.
My advice would be to trust myself more. Trust my own opinions, my own values. I would like to honour those more over the next year.
I would like to feel sure and confident about my work life - both the direction I take (whether or not that's in art therapy) and in myself at work. I want to feel quiet and inner peace in regards to work and just a deep knowing that it will be ok, I'm doing the best I can, I'm helping. I started working with a career coach. I really hope she will help me. One thing she said that resonated was that I am spending so much time and energy look to others for approval, and not spending time and energy developing my own set of beliefs, core values, figuring out what are my strengths and what I bring to the table.
I want to tell my future self to not sell yourself short and stop playing small. You have a right to be here and the world is a prosperous place. Stop hiding behind your junk, clean it up and move forward, NOW!
Cleaner diet, more exercise and shift into an environment with cleaner air. Grow : Artistically, Spiritually, Emotionally, Intellectually. Listen to my body more.
Okay, well I've started figuring out what to do on non-writing-partner days, but I have not fixed bedtime. This is depressing.
Getting myself into better physical shape.
I would like to be kinder to myself in the upcoming year. Each year that passes I realize more and more that I am the cause of much of my discontentedness. Over the next year, I want to give up my tendency to compare with others around all things including wealth, "success," looks, intelligence, etc etc. With COVID keeping people largely isolated, my internal monologue about how I am lesser than others is much quieter. I think this is mostly because I just don't see other people as often!
"I will pace myself to my own best rhythm." This is hard to do, especially while addressing the needs of a relationship. But as I age, I find this more and more important.
Hm. I want to further refine what my dream job might be, and explore if I'm happy as is with a stable state job, or if I want to push with the thing I truly want.
It can take a while to realize what you need. SO be gracious and kind to yourself as you try and figure it out.
“You are not on this earth to be palatable to every single person you meet” I need to work on being ok with expressing my opinions and thoughts and not censoring myself so much to make sure I fit everyone’s expectations of me.
I would like to have found a better job which is more intellectually stimulating. I would like to maybe be in a stable relationship and have someone I could think about starting a family with one day.
The piece of advice I keep getting from various people is not to worry about things I can't change. One thing that all these would-be mentors have in common is that they don't reach out beyond their own self-interest and see the world we live in as hopelessly corrupted, with pursuing comfort being the only reasonable response. I don't think there is an ethical basis for this worldview. Maybe there a religious basis, in a master-plan sense - but that's not for me. Anything good that has happened in history arrived on the backs of people willing to put in the work. That's how I want to improve myself. By finding a way to do the work towards a better future on a daily basis. I do agree that it's pointless to worry about things you WON'T change. If I can't find the courage to act, then perhaps complacency is best.
Usually from my husband and usual centering around putting down the phone, getting off of Facebook and doing focusing on other things besides stressing over the state of the world.
Trust my gut. Tune into how I feel first before assessing with my head to “solve my way out”. Sit in the discomfort.
I would like to phase carbs and sugar out of my life and get a good LSAT score and work out every day outside in every season.
I would like fewer things to feel guilt and shame about. I'd like to become more patient, less fearful, a better listener and slower to make assumptions. I would like to do this without compromising myself and what feels right for me. I'd like to operate from love more often than fear. I would like to quit taking things so personally. I don't know that I've sought out counsel that much this year. I have a little -but I cannot recall specific messages. Let go always comes to mind. Let go is always great counsel.
I want to be less grumpy and more optimistic. When I’m in a bad mood I have a harder time liking people and being open to positive exchanges with people.
Less time wasted, more progress on my business and general commitment to myself to take action and not wait.
Reach out. I let my fears bottle me up; I let them fester until I finally notice how unbearable it feels. And that’s no way to live one’s life. I remember talking to one of my friends about how the sadness that my graduate program had come to an end had paralyzed me, only to learn that she had assumed I was busy working when I actually just wanted someone to reach out. So, reach out. Talk to others. Communication is a two way street.
From my therapist: It's ok to feel conflicted. You can be of two minds about something and still make a decision. I want to do more of that. I want to be more joyful. I want to laugh more. I want to continue to work for a better world but to be guided by more joy, more love, more patience, more understanding. I want to enjoy it all more, and I want to be able to help give that to others.
Let it go. You are doing all you can, and making a difference in the world. I continue to strive for perfection, but this year, even more than in the past, I have realized that it's not really an "annual goal" but an aspiration. I'm good at what I do, maybe among the best at it, but perfection is not an option.
I'd like to be able to communicate my needs and wants more clearly and in a more even, less emotional tone.
I want to put all the energy, effort, and hard work that I give to others solely to myself and my wants, needs, and dreams and see how far that gets me. To be honest I think I will surprise myself with the outcome.
I want to feel much more connected to my deep knowing/wise mind/gut in both daily and big life situations. And have the courage to follow through on it. (Thanks Untamed, The Choice, Brene Brown, the litany against fear, therapists in the wild and other podcasts)
Losing weight will improve my life in many ways.
Patience Patience and more Patience because you don't know what someone else is going through. But also stand up for what is right. Fight for your rights and even more importantly the rights of others whose voices aren't being heard as well as yours.
I want to be happier and healthier. More at ease. I want to be at a job that I feel valued and where I can contribute. Perhaps the best piece of advice I’ve received is to not stay when it’s time to go. It’s time to go in my professional life. And I’m ready. In a year I’d like to have made peace with that and I’d like to be doing something much closer to what I’m supposed to be doing.
Practise self betterment. Do the things that please me even i have to earn more money and work harder to do it. Drawing. Driving. Travelling. Loving myself and others incondiotionally without judgements. Social activism. New Projects and renewing the old ones. Family. New house. Choose to love. Choose to not be affraid of loving. Accept love and care. Love and care for each other. Say what´s in your heart. Accept that everything can´t be fantastic forever.
I would like to be more independent and artistic. The advice I received is "One day at a time".
Some one said to tell yourself ‘I am a strong woman and nothing can stop me.’ You should always follow that advice.
Talk less. Smile more. Remember how good you have it, every single day. Feel that grace. Maybe cut back on the smoking and move your body more? Keep being present.
I would like to spend a larger percentage of my non-working hours in creative pursuits. "It's impossible for me to stay on top of everything. Completing my to do list doesn't make me a better person. If I miss something, it's ok."
One piece of advice that I am trying to take with me this year is the idea that you are not required to complete the work, nor are you free to ignore it. With all of the turmoil and injustice in the world right now, I am reminding myself that even when the amount of work that needs to be done is overwhelmingly large, I am able to and absolutely should at least get started.
To better allocate my days. I need to either plan better or decide to goof off better. They are slipping by way too quickly and then it is bedtime. Also, to create my routine that puts in Bible study and quiet time daily, regardless of all else.
I've been poor so long that I've accepted the way some things in my life are as a given. Now that I finally have a job that lets me save some money, I want to upgrade the quality of my life. A new bed for example. We've been sleeping on that futon bed that we borrowed from my girlfriend's parents all this time, and its uncomfortable. Same with the sofa that hurts my neck to sit in... which we got for $10 when the school was changing out things. Glad the car has been upgraded, so no more worrying about overheating everywhere we go.
I always want to love my husband to the fullest extent that I can. I don't want to take him for granted or a moment of time with him either. I want to be fully present and engaged and not miss any opportunity to love him with all that I have. I want to continue to make our house a wonderful haven of our home and life together. I want to keep learning and not grow stagnant. My own quote has been my mantra for many years now. The main part of it is: I will not wake up one day at the end of my life having lived someone else's idea of what my life should be like.
Rest is resistance, and boundaries are how we say I love you.
I would like to get more self confident, gain more experience and expand my skills and push me to have my own project. To believe in myself, I have to believe in myself for others to do so.
I want to feel happier & confident within myself. I want my daughter to be proud that I am her Mum. ❤
Continue to be/eat healthier, continue to go to therapy, continue to work hard on my marriage, continue to try and believe in myself. My son started soccer class, his coach really helps instill confidence in the kids and the class always starts off with the kids saying/screaming "I CAN DO IT!!!" "I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!" So, I'm going to take Coach John's mantra and try to weave that into my thought process.
Focus on where I am and the possibilities for the future. Let go of the past and let it be what it was. Embrace where I am now and where it may lead. "It should be about the future. Not the past."
One line of advice I received that has especially stuck with me this year, is to be grateful for the things we do have in our lives. Even if it's something very basic like having a place to call home. A lot of us (including myself) put a lot of focus on things we either want to have or do not have. In the process, we neglect the things we already have (family, friends, a job, a place to live, etc.)
I would like to keep working on saying what I need and not being afraid to ask for it. People want to help/support and I deserve that help and support. I can and should communicate what I need with others. Even if the answer is no or I don't get what I want, it's healthier and feels better to not bottle these things up all the time.
Fear is a door -walk through it. That's the advice I was given this past year and I really resonate with it. I have so much fear in my life and need to rid myself of it. After all, all is in God's hands so I have nothing to fear. I plan to explore my fears and see where they come from, are they relevant to me now?, and work on eliminating them.
I want to be more present, and less avoidant. I want to do more worthwhile things, and spend my time better.
I would like to have a steadier, more positive mood. Many of the helpful things are little things. The best new suggestion was gathering pictures that make me happy to look at. (It turns out that going through the pictures I already have on Google photos helps.)
Be happier in the moment. Give up silly moments of silly unnecessary grumpiness or anger Go kiss Marta If the cake doesn't work just throw it away. The time is now, buy the thing, don't wait for s special time or to gift it to myself. If you want it, can afford it and it makes you happy: do it[ Be kinder to yourself babes.
I want to be kinder and more disciplined, which will require slowing down, saying no sometimes, accepting the idea of limitations (my own and those of others), being honest with myself and others.
By holding true to the notion that I need to fill myself up before I can fill up other people. While I have become better at incorporating yoga, exercise and meditation into my life I still do not do it on a steady daily basis. Without judging myself for not doing it 7 days per week, I want it to become so steady that I don't have to think about or plan for it. I know that taking care of myself is the number one priority I need to worry about -- even over calling someone back, checking in on a friend or neighbor etc. On certain days those things give me great anxiety and I need to choose what feels good for me, knowing those other people will very likely be fine if I don't check in or do it the next day. I am the most important person to be concerned about and I want to live by that.
Put your phone down. Count to 10 more often.
Get back into a normal weight range and normal fitness. Moderation.
Next week, I plan to start taking a preventative for migraines. I have to take imitrex about once per week now. The frequency is concerning to me. Once every 4-6 weeks I get one that isn't controlled and it lasts 3-4 days. One of the options is an antidepressant and I think that would be good for me as well to get some respite from the depression around the migraines and some shelter from the onslaught of grief over our country and our world.
Yes, the universe only gives you what you think you’re worthy of. That’s pretty much the most bomb thing isn’t it?
I'd like to get better at maintaining the structures I've set up in my life, and I'd like to get better at not procrastinating. (I'm writing this on the last day, which is an indication that I haven't had as much success with this one as I'd like over the previous year.) I'm actually pretty proud of how I've handled myself, emotionally, over the last year. I'd like to build on that progress, but I want to take this opportunity to remember that I've done well.
I want to focus more time and energy on charitable deeds. I want my actions to be louder than my words. I’ve long made kindness a central part of who I am, but I want to get more involved in things I believe in. I miss volunteering as a grief counselor and want to do something along those lines again. That’s where I feel I’m best served is when I’m helping others find peace amidst the chaos of grief and pain.
This is a tough question. I keep resisting the answer. I see the signs everywhere. The piece of advice that bubbles up now: Refuse Confusion. I know what I should do. I am still stuck in the weeds of when and how and all the other BS and fear that's twisted up in this habit. My resistance is avoidance. I've been stuck on This Thing for years now. The river of life keeps moving. When will I let it go?
I would like to be less hard on myself. I have a very strong internal voice that is quick to judge my own actions harshly and can be very punishing. I would like to learn to turn my capacity for compassion inward towards myself as well as out towards others.
It's been a similar answer for the last couple of years. The best words that ring in my ears are 'invest in your debt'.. so to eventually find myself debt free. Please can I make it happen in 2021. I know I can do it.
1. Practice building my self-discipline and integrity by keeping the promises I make to myself. 2. Practice this piece of advice: Respond to the Issue not React to the Emotion
My physical goal (learn to swim) from last year will still carry over into next year. Perhaps due to the pandemic? Who knows. I can't tell if I would have tried without the pandemic, but at least it gives me an excuse this time.
I have actually worked on myself a lot this year! Out of necessity as much as desire. I guess I'd like to keep on working at being honest with myself, taking my feelings seriously and communicating them to other people. I'd really like to get better at some aspects of sex that continue to elude me and get all my relationships to a place of communication and honesty where everyone is either getting their needs met or being able to step away from things that don't work for them.
At the same time that I am losing my hearing, I need to listen to others better and think about what is being said. And to be more thoughtful when I speak. I'm getting a lot of feedback about that. I'm trying to write appointments and all pertinent information in my large "Year of Covid-19 Planner."
I want to be kinder to myself about my body and my weight. I have had this goal many times, but COVID has forced me to go more slowly and approach it differently in some ways, so I am wondering if this might stick.
This period of time has been interesting, because it has allowed me to see what sort of things I *actually* do, when my excuses are taken away. For example, when I have all the time in the world and it doesn't cost me any money (thank you, free STREB classes), I do work out (surprisingly!) When I don't have a job, I still search for ways to keep myself busy, to gain a sense of purpose and accomplishment (not surprisingly!) When I don't have 1.5 hours of commuting every day, I consume books much more slowly (but at least I still consume them!) And when I am not rushing through an evening routine so that my head can hit the pillow faster, I floss (who'da thunk.) However, when I have all the time in the world and easy access to a kitchen, I do not cook regularly, nor eat enough of a well balanced diet. I always make excuses for why I do/don't do things (time, money, exhaustion, etc) and while those are all valid reasons, the fact is that when something is important, it will happen. So when all of the excuses were stripped away, I found out what was important. So for the upcoming year, I don't want to give myself any more excuses; I'm going to try to keep doing those things, even when the real world comes barreling back. Separately, I really have to work on my diet. I need to eat greens, greens, nothing but greens. Or, at the very least, SOME greens. I even have my own kitchen now/don't have to fight for time/space with roommates, so I really have no excuse. If I can make healthy cooking a habit, I feel like I can maintain that habit - I just have to get into it first. Oh also, to repeat an answer from last year - I really need to find (or more specifically, find and stick with!) a therapist.
I would like to turn my focus back onto myself and give myself the care and attention I have been giving to my kid and my household and everything else. Including all the negative attention I have been lavishing on my husband. Whether we will be divorced or not in the next year, I have to move forward on fixing my morbid obesity and increasing the chances that I will be around a lot longer. Sitting on my ass isn't doing that work. I would tell myself: do the thing that is important to the future, not the thing that keeps you stuck in place.
During one of my last one-on-one conversations with Saba, he told me to "Be Happy." One of the things Matt wrote on his pad when he was in the hospital was "Life is Full." I've been thinking about both of those things this year, how I can live a full, happy life. I want to continue to trust myself, especially though these big changes coming up. I want to find the joy, and share the joy, as much as I can.
Dang! My answer last year also feels spot on! A piece of advice is staying committed to action and not getting stuck in a place of paralysis. Remembering that life is a journey with so many things that are unexpected and the plan might not work out as imagined.
Continue to practice the idea that, just because you have something to say, that doesn't mean everybody else needs to hear it. Especially online.
It sounds silly, but I'd like to get my upper body strength back.
In the next year I would like to improve my life with more discipline and commitment to reaching my goals, while also maintaining the fluid structure of my life that enables me to be in the moment. "Do what you want to become," a piece of advice that has guided me in the past. I wanted to become a singer, so I want. I wanted to become a songwriting, so I wrote songs. I want to become a recording artist who produces their own work and releases original music, so that is what I will do. I also want to become financially stable with a job that I like... So, I will do whatever I have to to get there WITHOUT sacrificing my dreams. Recently I heard, "a goal is a dream with a deadline." This new advice will help guide me.
I recently did a meditaion, that had me focus on my body, and where do I specifically feel the stable witness, even when there are emotions in other parts of my body. Love this, since it brings my focus to my body no matter what else is going on in my head. I want to continue to explore my mind-body work, and to bring it into my work with clients.
This is only a season. I need to remember that things will get better/change, and just appreciate what I am experiencing/have. And be nicer.
I would like to not eat when I'm not hungry and eat healthier stuff when I am. I don't want to diet -- been there, done that, gained it all back -- but it's not true that it doesn't matter what I eat and I'd like to pay more attention to that. Back when I did weight watchers I learned that when I cram good foods in I eat fewer unhealthy foods just because I'm not hungry for them, and I'd like to get back to doing that more.
Be more creative, sleep more, be tidier. (More money would be handy but it is not top priority) I read somewhere " make time to do things, and finish one thing before starting the next. ' I've been doing that, and I do feel more relaxed.
Lately as of this writing I’ve heard several mentions of “the best way to get moving is to start moving.” It’s been Particularly hard this year. I’d just like to improve my life by being utterly present and thankful; it keeps me out of my wandering head, my fear, my dismay, my sense of incapability so I can just show up and do my humble best.
To choose a small, particular thing (rather than just saying that I want to improve everything!), I would like to be better at communication, especially small talk. I read an interesting book on small talk, and the advice that struck me was that to not engage and force the other person to make all the effort is to be selfish! It hadn't really occurred to me that way, since I'm usually drowning in shyness and fear of saying the wrong thing, so I never say anything. I'd like to work on this, actively, and change the way I approach these interactions.
I would like to continue my deep dive into the honest exploration of myself, my goals, and my values. I would like to continue re-evaluating when appropriate. I would like to bring my actions and what I spend time on closer to my values. I would like to be more patient and empathetic to my family, and not just others.
I don't want to take anything for granted any more. And ask questions, always.
I would like to use my time better (as I toggled away from yet another solitaire game). I need to continually remind myself how short my time here is and to use it better. More reading, more thinking, more writing.
I'm currently in therapy and I would like to achieve some goals related to that in the next year. I want to establish healthy boundaries and build up my sense of self worth.
Try to get in better shape. My past self had been feeling pretty good, but presently, not so much.
Keep being active and getting more fit. The more fit I am, the better I can ride. The more active I am, the longer I can stay active throughout my lifetime. I see more and more how important exercise is as I get older and watch family and friends get older.
RBG said, “Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you." I would like to work on my delivery! I feel that I am levelheaded, in the things I fight for. I just need to stay levelheaded when I’m expressing myself about them.
I want to become a better communicator. The first step towards becoming a better communicator is to become a better listener.
Be self compassion. Be resilient and be hopeful. Be authentic !
Say yes to experiences, particularly new ones -- and NO NO NO to yet more work!
I should simply copy and paste last year’s response. Another year older and still not self-disciplined enough to get moving beyond the necessary. Even in this time when so many find their only freedom out of doors and much-needed healing available in the natural world, I am still too sedentary. Just yesterday, however, I was gifted with motivation. My two grandchildren, 4 and 2, love hiking. The older one can do two miles on her own pausing only to “catch my breath.” The 2-year-old is almost up to a mile. Surely, I can do as well! Haha! We see too little of them in our blended families, but now we have an invitation to join some of their Sunday hikes. Do I want to have to beg off? Silly, silly question!
I would like to be better at my friendships. Make the effort, make the time, do the work....the conditions of the pandemic mean that all of our social contacts have to be deliberate and chosen, and I want to be sure that I choose connection.
I want to improve my health overall. Recently realized that my healthy choices are nit as such, and it's been more about cutting corners. I can't recall any particular advice other than being told I lack discipline. Except that I don't. I have incredible discipline in so many areas of my life except my health. So I'm scaling back the unnecessary to focus on what's going to improve my health. Trading disciplines, I suppose.
Jill told me to move out of Illinois. I have taken this to heart. She, and Chris, and I have advised me to drink more water. This is for my survival. Finally, walking as I now do is not enough to stay healthy and have physical ease.
I’d like to have clarity around what I want to do.
I’m learning about family dysfunction and enmeshment and it’s a welcomed framework. I want to stand on my own two feet and in healthier relationship to my parents and MIL. We need to move out of our small apt into something more spacious so the kids can have more room. There has been lots of heartbreak this year. It’s been eye opening that my parents continue to chose their needs over mine at my expense. I will not stand for it any longer and have a good reason to break old family patterns. My beautiful kids that deserve better than the neglect I experienced growing up. I’m finally showing up and standing my ground. I’m committing to my ACA program and committing to my step work and therapy to help me through.
Lior: you have to consent to leave the shore behind to find new lands. Dating is like walking down a street and seeing you fancy anyone you meet. Sometimes there is no one on that street, and that's ok. Hana: it is ok to revisit something once again, just to make sure it is really not worth it. after you've done that, it is time to really move on. KT: you don't owe anyone attraction, it is ok to not fancy everyone you meet. Mac, Tanya and JoJo all seem to suffer 'Indecision Paralysis' and it has motivated me to stick to my word and do what I need to do once I have chosen it. I would hate to leave people in the lurch and make them wait because I don't have strength in my own conviction. Hadj: the break up is like a pebble which uncompromisingly disturbs the water's surface in the pond. With each ripple and wave from the locum point, the extremities lessen. Eventually I will be able to look at the pond from afar, and the surface will have settled. I think I am pretty much there fortuately! PG: there is always a positive and pragmatic approach which can solve the problem. Matty and Julia: it is ok to sit still and take time to let things wash over you. JoJo: swimming through your pond is not as scary as it sounds.
Well, there's that pithy piece of advice from my significant other: "Get your $#!+ together." And there's also the significant "The Fool" tarot card turning up and seemingly urging me to not be afraid of trying something new / different from what I have been used to.
I really and truly want to stay balanced and not lash out or blame those closest to me for issues that I am having internally. If I could effectively practice patience, tenderness, and love for myself, that would translate into greater generosity and caring for those around me. The advice I have received is to listen to my body and allow myself the space and time for rest and relaxation when I need it. Our society wants us to be "on" all the time, but that is in conflict with the natural rhythms of our body (particularly for women). I cannot control the world. All I can control is how I react to things that are happening around me.
I want to be more grateful and to let go of guilt.
The past year has been a lesson in patience and simply existing through this time. My goal to simply to respond as best I can at any moment. I cannot plan other than to be prepared for the unexpected and continue to work for a better world in every way that I can.
So many people I know are struggling with what it means to have hope when it's hard to see, to atone when you feel hopeless, to do better when you don't know what that means in a world that seems to have no solid ground. And then someone else said a thing. "You do what you can. That intent, to do and be better, to love and not to harm, to have an open heart, is Sufficient." The best thing I can do to improve myself is to remember that you do what you can. It's aspirational, not prescriptive. You repair whatever small rip in the fabric that's within your power.
Try to find a way to live more in the moment and be less afraid, no matter what happens.
Oh dear. Yes. I want to really figure out how I keep burning myself out. Not in a theoretical way but in a "ok its Monday, lets mitigate this early" kind of way.
I would like to be a better partner and stronger couple. I have been finding couples counseling to be quite productive although challenging, and I hope it continues.
I'd like to lose some weight and make exercise a more integral and structured/regimented part of my life. I'd also like to get better at managing my time, so that I better balance out the things that need to get done. I often reflect back on Mark's advice to wait 12 - 18 months after retirement to really decide on what's next. I am still waiting for that inspiration.
I want to be more courageous and disciplined in pursuit of the life I want, both in terms of what I want individually and with Maddie. I want to take more responsibility for myself and my life. To basically own the lines of Invictus: "I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul." In other words, focusing very hard on the things that are up to me, and casting aside or at least not trying to control the things that aren't up to me.
With COVID, honestly I'll be happy if I'm still alive next year. That's really all I can say right now to be honest.
I've been saying this for so many years that it's almost meaningless until I take ACTION - but I need to figure out a way to work fewer "in person" hours and more passive/multifunctional hours to make money. Even at 37, I can feel with my growing family and the multiple demands on my time that I won't be spending the entirety of my forties training in a gym - so what WILL I be doing? Solely nutrition consults? Writing my book (tentatively titled "Good at Life")? Working for the Singapore government? "Influencing"? I'm just not sure. In the past year I was given the advice to "surrender" to the demands/guilt/stresses of being a new mom, and just let it wash over you like waves as you remind yourself that you are always, ALWAYS doing the best you can.
Eat less, worry less. Live more.
Stay calm, be mindful and practice lovingkindness
Kuzma said "The more paper you have, the cleaner your ass". Basically, keep a paper trail. I would go so far as to have this include certifications and licensure. I am working on establishing myself as a profession in my field and it takes a lot of work to earn all this "paperwork"
All woman deserves to have her own secrets, her own money, her own room, and her own plans.
I desperately need to improve my flexibility and agility and quit being so lazy and complacent.
I'd like to not feel so depressed. I might improve myself/my situation by getting training - perhaps a teaching certificate.
It’s always the same piece of advice. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Just like this song. I am trying to be aware of how sometimes I have to be the one that gets the last word the last punch the last I know you are but what am I snarky comment. Trying to just not react and be quiet. I want to re-commit myself to the ocean swimming throughout the year. I’m sitting here in a sarong just got out from swimming in the bay. Feels good.
I would like to spend my time wisely and conserve my energy for the things that feel most important. I would also like to continue to be intentional, to build my confidence and trust my gut. I would like push myself to really do some research into my next job and maybe seek out a career counselor. I would also like to really cultivate our backyard garden.
Continue my current path of giving back, helping others, and taking good care of myself.
Well, my stupid hamstring hurts again this week, so that would be good. I ate better and exercised more over the last few months, and I still feel like shit, so maybe that’s not the magic answer I thought it was (or maybe I just need to eat even better and exercise even more). I’d like to feel safer. I’d like to feel more worthy. I’d like to be less burned out all. the. time. but I have no idea how to make any of that happen.
I want to maintain friendships that I have made this year. Through these friendships, I have come out of my shell, and more fully embraced life.
Something that should be simple but is extremely difficult for me: getting out of bed when my alarm goes off. Not thinking about it, not resetting my alarm for 20 minutes later, not scrolling through my phone, not bargaining with myself, not calculating which bus is the latest that I could catch to get to work on time. Just getting out of bed when the alarm goes off, because it's what you do. As for advice, I really do like the article I read where they advised to practice (on a weekend or evening or whenever) to lie in bed, set your alarm, and then just throw the covers off and get out of bed. And then do it again. And again. I know I feel better in the morning when I haven't rushed, where I've slowly enjoyed the time I have before work. Somehow first-thing-in-the-morning me just can't remember that feeling.
Lockdown has forced me to drop things I never had capacity for and I want to keep some time for myself. But I have too much of it right now.
I'd like to improve myself by being more positive. I need to interact more with others in a positive way. Most of the time I want to hide in my home and let the word go by with all of it's craziness.
Next year I would like to have time not just to decompress but those peaceful times that I had with God where I just could've fallen asleep afterward, I was just so relaxed and at peace. I'd like to seek God for my rest rather than social media or tv.
Looking forward, I would like to be more curious than critical and focus on connecting with others. No matter how strongly rooted in fact or history something may seem, it is important that I question patterns of behavior and learned norms in society and self, by asking: What is my responsibility in it? How am I complicit in it? How can I prevent it form happening again?
It's a running theme, but I think quitting my job will be a huge positive shift...not only in the sort of immediate, obvious ways my life will change, but also as a way of proving to myself that I am capable of taking care of myself, that I can jump into the void and trust the universe to catch me. That listening to my intuition is the best possible idea at all times, and that prioritizing myself and my needs is absolutely the right thing to do. The universe will not lead me astray, but I have to trust, and I have to trust HARD. I am confident that by this time next year, things will be better.
The advice was to ask myself, “What do you want? What do you really need?” I love spending money to support artists as well as local small businesses. I feel now is a good time to think a bit more in terms of what I really need. So spending less while still giving support to others. For the moment I’m starting with spending less.
I aspire to be more courageous and to trust my instincts. On many occasions, I've had an intuition or red flag feeling about something, but I dismissed it. I know that ultimately it's better to face trouble sooner rather than putting if off and hoping it will go away on its own. In the past I haven't had the courage and strength to face difficult realities. I think I'm better equipped now, but the habit of kicking the can down the road is hard to change.
I’d like to continue to grow and change, but without the anxiety that I’m not enough. I want to integrate my “unfinishedness.” And I want to give myself more pleasure.
I want to lose the Covid weight! I intend to attend Circuit 3 days a week, and walking 4 miles a day. AND get back to eating more veggies. Being in Texas right now, with no veggies, I miss them!
I would like to find time to volunteer. Last year I incorporated more workouts and have stuck to it with only a couple of small breaks. So, if I could find a place to help that would be great. Maybe a food pantry with my Dad. He lost his wife and is looking to volunteer, too.
I want my work situation to be better. I want to get rid of some more of my bad habits and replace them with good habits. I want to mute my negative self-talk, complain less (particularly about other people), and feel more comfortable in my own skin. I want more of the house to be unpacked and finished, with more things in their rightful long-term place. I want to reduce clutter. I don't want my life to be too full. I want to read more. Don't know about the good advice or counsel. I am changing and aware of my habits and behaviours. I've certainly made a dent in some of them. I like forming new, good habits. I want to sleep better and more. I want to have fewer nights fuelled by caffeine and white light from glowing rectangles.
My good co-author/colleague/friend is much more prone to finding awe. To slowing things down and appreciating the negative as much as the positive. And I think there's a lot in my personal life where I wish I could draw more from/internalize her points of view in being able to find success in the ventures that are most important to me.
I would be less unsure of myself. There is plenty of evidence--and counsel--that I am more than good enough. I would also be less attached to my mother's view of me, which is toxic and inaccurate.
My goals from last year still stand - though I've made some little progress towards them. I want to talk less and listen more. I want to be less self-obsessed and more generous of time and spirit. I've taken some small steps towards this in the past year but I've got a long way to go. I think this sort of generosity grows out of a sort of self-confidence. People who are insecure in themselves are the ones who feel the need to keep pushing and asserting themselves. So I want to develop that confidence.
To let go. To ease up on the pedal and let things flow more rather than push. Pushing creates resistance and can have a negative impact. In my yoga practice, it has caused injuries. In my work, it has created undue stress. In my relationships, it has set up barriers. In letting go, I can create a better state of wellness for myself and for others.
I have always believed that a person needs to act when they see injustice. I hope in the coming year I can act more and more to help the world become a better place.
I want to develop small, simple routines for friends, fun, relationships, money, and building a meaningful, rewarding lifestyle. Stephanie Lyndy Komen There are no “shoulds” when it comes to mindset. Give yourself some space to notice your thoughts, then you will have a better direction for your thoughts to go in.
I would like to be more compassionate to my parents and to live in the present more and to make deeper connections and build a community. In a year's time, I envision myself having a regular spiritual, physical and art practice with a strong social community and maybe even a romantic connection. The best piece of advice/counsel I received this year from Therapist Ryan was THAT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. My depression and anxiety are not WHO I AM; I have good instincts that sometimes get clouded by self-doubt but that depression and anxiety do not mean that I have to always blame things on myself. That job DID suck, that relationship WAS bad. I want to BELIEVE MORE in myself and worship less at the altar of self-doubt. I want to GROW into who I am meant to be: a kind, compassionate, mature, boundaryful, creative woman of service.
Easy: I want to keep building my empathy and emotional resonance. For reasons I wrote about for Question 6, I find myself pulled more and more toward leadership. But my leadership can't look like pacesetting. It can't look like, I'll do it, then you do it. I have to make meaningful connections with people, build trust, hear them out, and support them in learning and growing. The piece of advice I want to remember is that as the task grows larger, it cannot be done alone. It happens through the work of other adults, all working together.
I would like to have a regular music practice. I have a regular writing practice, and yoga practice, and I'd like one for my music skill building. Piece of advice: Take care of yourself. It's not always your problem. You don't have to carry the weight of the world in your muscles and bones. All those times I set boundaries and it felt good- that's the goal. Every time.
Slowing down, being content with what i have, taking time for myself.
I would like to better use the wisdom of my age to continue to channel my reflections on failure into less guilt and regret and into more productive and uplifting improvement and success, to take positivity from the lessons learned.
Not a lot differs from my last answer, unfortunately: I want to continue working on my wellness, especially physically. Though I would add taking better care of my mental health as well. I have continued to make progress on the physical side, as I have continued working out pretty regularly (though COVID has added some challenge there). I definitely have even more comfort in the kitchen now, but still need to work on adding cooking to a more general routine. At least working from home has enabled a little more flexibility for that, time-wise.
Practice gratitude and acceptance. Fully appreciate the universe and those I love. Be good to myself and those I come in contact with. Contribute to healing the world.
I would like to continue to grow spiritually, for my life to be a reflection of Christ’s love. I received advice from one of my pastors to walk in my faith unapologetically as an example of true discipleship
Accepting that not everything needs to be changed, and I can just be who I am, the way I am.
I'm not sure about the next year, but when I take stock, I realize this year was a big one for little improvements. On the physical side, I've really really enjoyed my little strength training routine, and I'd love to continue that and work some regular swimming into the mix. On the aesthetic side, I got permanent eyeliner done and started laser hair removal for the annoying little hairs on my chin, both of which I've been quite pleased with. I think I'll keep an eye out for other time-saving cosmetic measures. On the convenience side, I installed a little toilet-mounted bidet early in the year and let me just say -- I'm never going back. I also finally bought a new computer, a new couch, and a proper bike light. I'm not sure why it took a massive global shutdown to get me to take the relatively short and easy steps to make all of these things happen, but now that I've reaped the rewards for a few months, I hope I can be more attuned to opportunities where spending a little money could yield a big improvement in quality of life. Next on the agenda is probably a better bike.
I'd like to be less rigid. In my goals, in my projects, in my mind. All around. I want to be softer, kinder, and remember that a life really is measured in love, not numbers. Not pounds. Not dollars. Nothing but love.
I'd like to continue making time for reading and meditation. To continue making space for simple, joyful things – like frisbee in the park, and hiking, and watching the ducks bob upside down with their little butts in the air. I would like to cultivate a relationship with my spirit team. Spend time alone in forests. Spontaneous trips out of town. I'd like to return to my poetry, carrying my journal with me everywhere I go, regarding my thoughts as sacred. Build the small details of the life I'd like to live, from the inside. Start with myself. Fall in love with myself. Let the rest figure itself out.
I really don't know, yet, what needs to be done. I am attempting to be the one holding the light in the darkness. That seems to be my path right now. And, for right now, this perspective seems right. GC's passing and my ability to navigate the grief and all the emotions that arise from that grief and from the terrible circumstances have taught me something: I am resilient, I am able to be of service, I am able to practice and share. Now that Jody is also struggling with cancer, and, finally, has completed the chemo/radiation treatments, but has not yet completed the pain (3 more weeks) associated with the havoc wreaked on her body, we wait to find out if the treatments worked on eliminating the cancer, "Lana". Because of my experiences with GC, I am anxious about her situation, but not dissociative -- our daily connections both help me watch my own reactivity, and help me control my impulses to "help" where there is nothing I can do, including going to visit. I am so grateful for my spiritual practices: praying, meditating, chanting, readings, deepening my practices, sharing them as I go which, in turn, installs them in my body. I am able to stand up and speak out, gently but with passion. Never give up. Oh, yes, surrender is important -- to know when to hold and when to fold, but never give up the commitment to be of service.
I guess I need to heed the advice that I hear from most everyone and put the trauma of UUSG behind me.
I need to learn to more work life school balance. Right now I feel very unbalanced
I would like to be more productive, waste less time, produce more and better work,help others and be less stressed out.
I would like to become less stuck to my daily routines and more efficient. This is an incredibly challenging goal so I’ll accept baby steps, even for example going to bed early 30 minutes one or two nights a week. I’ve been getting up at a reasonable time and going for runs and trying the fasting thing. That’s been pretty good but I’m not sure I’ll continue with it. As for teaching, this is my biggest time suck and I’m not quite sure how I can be more efficient and spend less time working at night and on weekends. It might just be part of the gig. I would love to get back to doing a few work outs a week but Roman gave some advice recently about just thinking how I use all of the minutes in the day and how I assume I need to do certain things at certain times.
Everything is in the now. What I think and create now is the improvement of next year. Keep steady with yoga, meditation, grounding practices, writing, painting and nutrition. Continue expanding and living in the wisdom of unconditional love.
I need to keep healthy and I want to deepen my relationships with everyone in my family.
I’d like to be in better command of my physical surroundings. My house is still more chaotic than welcoming. I am trying to simplify, declutter, and let go of things that weigh me down needlessly.
Listen more, ask more questions, be my authentic self with others. Detach detach detach from emails, texts, social media.
I want to have conquered my anger/difficulty in restraining frustration. I'm already working on this with regard to my kids and maintaining general calm. I hope to continue to improve over the next year!
A former professor of mine, Suzanne D. passed away in February. We were not close but I was shocked by her death. Her work later in life was focused on the role of emotion and embracing emotion. This along with embracing my artistic and soulful side is where I feel like I need to be. I often feel out of touch with my emotions, like I need to suppress them or eliminate them. But I think if I can experience them, I may find some other elements of myself that have been lost.
I want to take greater and more consistent joy from whatever happens. Strive less to control WHAT and accept that my control is greatest over HOW. HOW each thing manifests my unique mission. HOW I feel about and respond to each thing. Less the "what" I will get or have or choose to do.
I can't think of a piece of advice. I'd like to finally start having some joy in my life and in my body. I've been delaying gratification my whole life (with the exception of a few years in high school) and my partner is the same way so it makes it worse. I'm trying to take pleasure in small things, like cuddling my dogs and watching my sprouts grow. But I really want a big change in this regard--really want to get past some old hurts and old ways of thinking and get back to myself when i was excited about life and making things and felt purposeful. I feel so burdened by resentment and the discord between what is and what I'd hoped it would be. I just get bummed out rather than making my world the way I want it. I really want my relationships to be full of love and not grudges and tiptoeing. my patients joke with me and say "don't get old," which in a way is advice. I could take it to mean enjoy things while you can.
I think the ground underneath me is shifting, rumbling, moving. I think that changes are going to/have to/need to be made. I joined the Tony Horton thing and am not confident, but semi confident (?) that this will offer me a structure to make change happen. I would like to have a meditation practice. I think I need to be (??? I don't know) more involved with my work, as this pandemic has pushed. Deeper relationships with friends. I want to be non-monagamous again without fear of covid, and I don't think that that is likely to happen, but perhaps? I want to open up more sexually, to more pleasure. Two new quotes by my desk: " Do your best and forget the rest" "'Best' means showing up and doing your best without being attached to the outcome"- Tony Horton "Nothing human beings do is set in stone--and even stone changes anyway"-N.K. Jemison Also, from the last year "There are more valuable things than safety and comfort. Learn. You owe it to yourself"-Nnedi Okorafor As a coda; I see that in my answer from last year I mentioned that there was "magic" in being able to go out with friends after work and debrief, socialize. There was indeed. I'm glad I appreciated it and am amazed and stunned that it is gone.
I want to trust other people more. Let myself be needy and know that it’s okay to rely on someone else.
I would love my inflammation, as it relates to stress, to diminish greatly. I'll quote the Tao: The gentlest thing in the world overcomes the hardest thing in the world. That which has no substance, enters where there is no space. Thus illustrating the power of non-action.
Probably the same answer I give every year; I really need to lose weight, as have reached unhealthy levels. Would like to meet with a financial counselor to realistically figure out retirement plans, and would like to find another job, preferably part time. The only advice I remember was to NOT continue to go to work, as my age puts me in the high risk category for COVID-19. I ignored it and did test positive for the virus, but have not had any symptoms so far. (Thank G-d!)
I would like to continue improving upon my plans from last year. I have improved my diet since last year and started juicing every other day. Not being able to go out to a restaurant to eat 3-4x a week because of the pandemic has certainly improved my diet. I still need to work more on strengthening exercises and continue with my regular yoga practice.
I would like to see my life as meaningful in the daily events and shorted the scope of waiting for later to get what I hope to have. Acknowledging daily my gratitude for things large and small. Forgiving others on a daily basis, so that bitterness does not build and erode my connections. Trying actualize my hopes now, since it is unclear what tomorrow will bring.
I would like to keep questioning myself and my life over the next year. Where do these traditional goals of consistency or self-improvement stem from? Do they stem from white supremacy and the notion of perfectionism as being superior?
I would like to make our home more comfortable and attractive and to find more creative ways to store our possessions in a house with very little built-in storage. 70 seems an odd age in which to be "nesting" but that seems to be an aspect of what is happening!
I think, I am pretty awesome already :) Something I would love to focus on next year is to take more time for people that matter a lot to me. There was a phase this year when this worked extraordinary well but it got unfortunately back to being less that I want it to be. And in the end, I am the only person who can change it. I learned through the pandemic how important human connection outside of my home is to me and I really want it to be a bigger part of my life.
i would like to make decisions more timeously notwithstanding the difficulties associated with the decisions .. one piece of advice during the Covid time is to be resilient and focus less on being smart
I'd like to be less judgemental.
I’d like to get more curious about what life can look like. I tend to narrow my own choices by looking for how things could go wrong, by trying to stay even-keeled and narrow. I’d like to be expansive, creative, curious about life. See if I can’t break free from this box.
I want to stay true to myself. I want to reconnect to my roots and honor my past as a beautiful contributor to my integrated present.
Reclaim the part of myself who does not worry. I want to live more presently. I think my tendency to worry about the smallest things was triggered when my parents and host sister had a severe car accident in 2007. Before that, I never remember waking up and thinking that some tragic thing could happen. Then, two very close friends lost children full-term in 2012 and 2016. And, furthermore, becoming a mother myself in 2017, really exacerbated my sense of worry and impending doom. I really want to retrain my brain to think differently and elevate this mantra. My husband told me that when you worry, you suffer twice — once when worrying and then again once something actually happens.
Be present. Live in the here and now, and worry less about the future or dwell on the past.
Be honest about my needs and wants. Be brave about opening up to significant others. To create and make time for someone else.
Therapy helped me understand no one but I can decide what’s good for me. I plan to nourish this attitude. I have to be on my side.
I want to keep working on my internalized anti-Blackness, capitalism, ableism, and classism. Not want, need to. This is a lifelong unlearning that I have recommitted myself to this year in the wake of more police murders this summer. Improving myself in this way is to heal the world, because I can help others to improve themselves too while also making the marginalized people in my life safer and more empowered. There has been sooo much guidance and resources shared around this from the past few months—too much to sum up here! It really is and will continue to be a lifelong commitment so I hope the guidance never stops. Unrelated to anti-racism/social justice, the best advice I got this year was from Molly back in January (a lifetime ago!). They told me to embrace the seasons here—we all know cold, wet weather is not really my thing—by intentionally doing activities that match the season. Seems simple, but it really has made it so that I look forward to the unique aspects of each season rather than dreading one and wishing it was over. Here’s looking at a dark, cold winter filled with sweaters, collaging, reading, and hot tea!
I want to cultivate the resilience to keep moving despite all the obstacles. Get up, get up, there are worlds to conquer. —VE Schwab
Get myself on a coordinated schedule that includes better sleeping schedule, eating schedule and fitness schedule
more clear space around the property. granny unit. advice like get rid of something for everything brought into my life.
I want to continue with exercise that I was doing. Walking, hiking, biking, yoga and occasionally weights. I want to meet more people and continue to go to music events and festivals. I would also like to continue learning Spanish. Continue with photography as a hobby and learn some of the editing software.
I would like to limit travel substantially, and air travel especially, since it was marked how much clearer the air was when all travel ground to a halt last April and May.
I will like to be physically fitter and run an 8 minute mile. "G-d can move mountains, but you better bring a shovel"
Be as compassionate to yourself as you are to others. Even if you're not going through the same things or don't feel you're experiencing as much stress as other people, you're different. Your body is different. At full power, you're still only operating at 65% of everyone else. You deserve rest and compassion and breaks just as much as anyone else dose--and maybe even more.
I definitely need to write more. There are things that have been percolating for me that I have dallied in writing down, and I need to change this. I'm not sure that I am motivated by advice, more by example. There are a couple of people in my life who simply write habitually, and I need to be more like them.
The bar is so low. I want to halfway maintain my physical and mental health and support my kid as she grows, and maybe even nurture my marriage. I want my kid to have an OK time saying goodbye to her best friend - her only IRL friend - and getting to know a new friend. I want to be able to take my kid to the park and push her in the swing until she's tired of it.
I would like to continue to focus on my art...and to love more fully and openly. In various areas of my life, I have been told about (or perceived) the importance of living in the moment, of being more spontaneous and less planned, and of taking risks! That says it all, don't ya think?
I would like to continue to become more mindful in all things, aided perhaps by settling on a spiritual practice that isn't appropriated from another faith/culture
I really, REALLY need to find a way to be more in the moment. I say/write this every year, but this year, with all of us home for the foreseeable future, with work + remote schooling + everything else being so stressful - it is so important that I continue working on ways to calm myself. Morning walks/ runs have been so helpful - but it's not enough.
I feel like I’ve become stronger this year. More able to stand up for myself. It’s not always comfortable and I don’t necessarily do it as often as I should but it’s definitely better. But I still remain so caught up in what is going on around me and how people perceive me. I am so worried about what people think of me and if I’m showing up well. I’m often told to relax more but it’s difficult to relax when I feel like I’m constantly wanting to please everyone around me. And it’s extra difficult living in the house with someone who seems like he’s rarely pleased. It’s hard to remember it’s not about me. This time next year I would like to let things roll of my back. To know I’m enough. That I don’t have do do everything and be everything for everyone.
I would like to feel more settled as a lawyer and not feel weird when I tell people what I do. If the world is less awful sometime in that period I'd like to start making new friends and connections, but I know that's not going to happen with the world as it currently is.
I would like to have a better "work-life" balance, or to find work that really inspires me. I miss the days where I felt really intrinsically motivated to do the job because I can see how I fit into the role. One piece of advice that I got is I have to really fight for what I want - and do not be afraid to ask for it.
Hmm. Things that are both within and outside of my control come to mind. To make it short and sweet: I'd like to improve my life by being able to hug and interact freely again (without worrying about Covid/illness), and this is outside of my control. I would like to (and am working on) change(ing) my mindset around having enough time. There IS enough time - I need to get myself to a place where I can readily recognize that. This would enable me to be more aligned with how I want to be in the world, i.e. volunteering regularly, getting enough exercise, working, etc.
I mostly want to feel my feelings and still be able to be kind to those near me who bug the shit out of me. It ain't easy. But, I'm trying to adjust my thinking about it. Haven't gotten counsel that feels helpful. But, I'm open to it.
The greatest improvement I can make over the coming year is to speak less and listen more.
I want to stay the course of healthy living - eating and exercise. It has created an emotional and physical balance for me
I'd like to be more inclusive of others in decision making at work. I'd like to be less overbearing at work.
Keep exercising outside for as long as you have breathable air. I'm thankful my partner suggests hikes, and various outings to explore the beauty of Earth's landscape. Keep singing duets with her for more quantum entanglement, and the endorphin rush. Remember, a real man is, most of all, calm and kind.
Be dedicated to clearing and completions. The keys: one breath, one step, one day at a time.
I would like to be healthier and more focused on taking care of the love that everyone around me needs and wants. I think we get less counsel as we get older and need to call upon our wisdom to guide others.
I got some great advice, wise counsel, from a supportive congregant, to take a minute to savor the many successes and things I achieved at work in just a few months. I thought I was doing that already, but in the transition to virtual life I may have gotten dragged into focusing too much on what needed improvement and forgot to celebrate all the things that went right. I'm trying to return to the practice I had my first year at Solomon Schechter, when I would hear the end of the day bell and before I turned out the lights in my office and left the building, I would think of ONE good thing, ONE way I helped a student, and then I would call it a day. I think this is a useful practice in this 28th year of my rabbinate, in which COVID and virtual work presents unprecedented challenges every day.
After rereading last years answer, I can't think of a better one. Stay the course, complete my novel, get it published, and start the next. Rinse and repeat.
go easy take life less seriously don't care what anyone thinks (coming back to this one year after year) eat more mindfully stay with that gratitude and reflection! love yourself You are GROWING now! 19 now, not a kid anymore :)
Treat myself better. Remove myself from toxicity (and toxicity from my life).
I would like to get in better shape, stronger. I am happy with my weight, but I'd like to tone up more. In addition, I would like to be writing more regularly, and feel more comfortable using French and Spanish in conversation.
Grow in knowledge, read more! :)
I would like to continue to slow down and be more deliberate in my actions, behaviors, and attitudes. I've spent a lot of time during my life making impulsive decisions and moving too quickly. Because of those behaviors, I've really made a lot of mistakes and I want to fix that going forward.
It's made such a negative difference not to be able to go to the gym regularly. But I haven't found a substitute (can't run), and it's hard not to feel like a slug.
Living in the present instead of with anticipation of what my next tasks and obligations are. "You are worth so much more than your productivity." -Radical Emprints by Nicole
I would like to feel more confident in sharing my work, write more from the heart and trust my impulses instead of second guessing myself on so much. I want to stop getting stuck in my fear and resistance. I want to allow myself to make more mistakes and go with good enough. I’d like to truly write from my experience and feel safe in sharing more vulnerably instead of hiding behind giving advice that feels wise but disconnected. And I'd like to spend less time hiding behind my computer and my writing and more time connecting with people face to face (or online). More conversations and teaching, holding space and less writing and screen time. I’m not sure that any of this feels like improving myself. Of course, Alan Watts says that "the reason you’re not improving is because you’re trying to improve" so maybe I want to improve myself by not trying to improve.
More me time. Even when it’s impossible. For my spirit, body, heart, mind. Praying, yoga, running, walking, reading. Time when I can hear myself think. And less mindless scrolling
I would like to improve myself this year. My life is pretty good - very good, in fact, and my problems are dwindling to "first world problems". Things like too many appointments for husband's healthcare, or a demanding puppy, or having to do most of the household chores in our lovely new-ish home are small and inconsequential. I get lots of advice to take care of myself, take time for myself, relax, get enough sleep, not to feel guilty about needing to do all these things. I know it's true, but sometimes I still need permission.
I can't think of any advice I have received in the past year. And I can't think about improving, just surviving. Though wanting to survive would be an improvement I suppose. Mostly I am tired and it's hard to use sheer determination to keep going when so very tired.
I would like to be more disciplined with my passions (singing for instance) and goals (meditation, Agni Yoga for example). I don't recall being given any special advice in this direction.
I think I’m always working on finding the best balance in my life between school, work, family, friends, partner, and me time. I hope this upcoming year I can continue to get better at this, even when it feels difficult and like I’m being pulled in so many different directions. I think the pandemic helped me cherish even more the small moments of joy, whether it’s laying in the park with a book or cooking a special meal, and I hope to carry those moments with me into the new year and allow them to propel me forward even when I’m stressed or overwhelmed. I hope to continue being honest as much as possible, but while being empathic at the same time and taking into account how my words affect others. I think I also need to work on prioritizing school and understanding that I’m not just doing this to get a degree - this is going to be my future and it’s often going to be up to me to learn what I need and want to know. Sometimes I get down on myself and feel like I’m not as experienced as other people in my class but a piece of reassurance that Steph has given me all summer is that I also got into HUC. They saw the potential in me and I need to remember that instead of thinking I’m inadequate.
I’d like to exit the Peoples Republic of Kalifornia. Socialism is for those who want to be told how to live. I don’t.
Laugh more
I would like to be kinder and fitter. A year ago I read through my old primary school reports. The common thread was that I was not particularly tolerant of other children and needed to learn social skills! These comments disappeared once I started high school. This got me to thinking about how I maybe I have learned to deal well with friends and colleagues, but was frequently impatient with my own family members. This is a good wake-up call for me. I would also like to be fitter, which is a bit challenging now we are stuck at home, but I have been going out for morning bike rides and doing a little yoga. This needs to be done regularly so that it is a habit.
Like many, I would like to lose weight and exercise more. But that is every year (without success) so it is time to move on and pay attention to real improvements. Since retiring and moving, I have not been closely connected to a community. That needs to change. I need to become more of a participant and less of an observer. I have come to realize that the void in my life is a self-inflicted wound.
I am still in my 2019 healing mode, not improving or forcing anything onto myself. I want to live each day with gratitude and calmness. I'd say my recent microcosm experience of being misunderstood and the target of other people's projected shadow (in our little road community up here in the north woods) has taught me that I need to continue to grow in sending compassion and peace outward, toward everyone and everything. So much I don't and can't understand about another person's life. Yet, my compassion doesn't imply that I accept others' failure to carry out what they are asked to do, or to assume their share of the work we do together, or to be honest and ask for help when they are not able to carry out what they promised. My compassion doesn't mean that I accept others' duplicity without any skepticism. I can be compassionate and hold other's accountable for their actions at the same time. This is what I would like to practice in the coming year - how to maintain my balance of who I am and embrace compassion but also take right action when necessary.
I want to be in a loving and happy relationship within the next year. In the past, I have allowed relationships to just happen. This year I want to be intentional with my actions.
Still working on my patience. I think that's my biggest problem. I've improved a lot over the years but I feel I still have a long way to go. I can't think of any advice off the top of my head that I've received. It's just from self reflection and regret over stupid moments.
I want to do more good things for myself and care for my body. This includes yoga, meditation, working creatively, and making decisions for my own personal happiness. Advice: other people's happiness is up to them and personal happiness is up to me.
I would really like to have a better perspective that the most important things in life are My relationship to God and my relationship to other people. I don't want to get caught up in all my own stuff and tasks and miss those opportunities to grow.
Having more of a sense of what I want (at least at the time), and following the guidance to love what you do since you’ll be working for a while and might as well enjoy it.
I would like to tap into more joy, love, and faith in how I'm doing political work, instead of coming so much from anger and despair.
I'd like to become a better activist, or at least not feel guilty about not being enough of one. I'm not sure exactly how to do that. (I also don't want to disrupt my life too much.) There was some literature put out about integrating activism into your daily life that I could refer to, as well as some books I could read. If I'm looking for a single quote or piece of advice, I'd go with the line from the Pirkei Avot: "It is not upon you to complete the work, but neither are you free to desist from it."
can't think of anything here except to maintain the best practices of self-care that I've been working on.
IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO. you are not going to make everyone happy all the time and that is okay. I'm already starting to get better at boundaries with this difficult roommate situation. But also, I need to apply this to every area of my life. Taking care of myself is not selfish.
Accept myself for who I am now. Follow my passion. Be less judgmental in the moment.
I need to keep reminding myself that all the parts of me that I think of in negative terms: harsh, critical, small, weak, passive, meek, submissive -- are all valid and worthy parts that have taken on their respective roles because they helped me survive childhood. They need to learn that Adult Me is capable of managing sophisticated emotions and situations without resorting to panicked or childlike responses.
Be kinder and gentler on myself! I have always had high standards and expectations. While not inherently bad, they can lead to putting unnecessary pressure on myself. This has been amplified during the pandemic as I've tried to find ways to navigate all the challenges. Best advice has been from my therapist. We are ALL going thru some form of trauma. Be it personal trauma due to a job loss, a lifestyle change (everyone being at home) or worse the loss of a loved one to COVID to the macro situations. I wrote the following to a friend just the other day. "I am struggling with all the macro-level issues right now; the pandemic, our continued vigilance to social distance (isolation), the recent fires and smoke in both CA while I was there and then here in the PNW, the economic downturn around us which is manifesting with the house in SF, the social conditions in our country (BLM specifically) and the upcoming election (and god forbid four more years of Trump). These issues weigh on me quite a bit though they do ebb and flow in intensity. The anxiety about them affects my ability to focus, my energy level and my health (mostly through poor sleep)." We can each deny it, but the trauma is real...it is a fact. Remembering this and acknowledging it and the impact it has on us is so important.
I would like to find a way to have better mental health and physical health and be able to do what is required and actually do it. I would like to have the support of friends. I would like to thrive instead of just survive. I would like to know I have a soft place to fall. I need to find a safe clean place to do laundry that I can't do by hand. Bedding and towels.
Reduce overall stress level, and I think that would help in a lot of other areas. However, DEFCON 1 in terms of the future of democracy isn't helping me much with this. I have been advised to stop watching the news, but I cannot do that. Hopefully, things will improve. I am doing what I can to mitigate.
I want to become more engaged in my community.
I would like to be more fully present and choose kindness. I would like to spend moderately and save profligately. I want to invest time spent with my family.
I would love to shift my mindset from the things I need being a luxury to being just a part of my normal routine and non-negotiable. Things from exercising to keeping a more consistent hair care routine to even showering. I feel like there are things I do really well about doing daily (flossing and brushing my teeth for example) that I want more to be like that instead of me cutting those corners in order to 'pack more into the day'. Haven sent me the affirmation that self-care is healthcare. I think that has majorly refrained how I think about the necessity of it I think because I work in healthcare and advocate for the importance of access. Now I need to shift some of that into my personal life and expand it to also include these things that are indeed part of my self-care. I feel like it's extra now but I'm hoping it becomes cemented routine and a necessity later.
There is a big push in my mind that needs to pay attention to focus and minimalism in the coming year. I'm not sure exactly how it will show up, but these seem to come to mind frequently as I start planning for 2021.
I think I have made great strides in 2020 to improve myself, but there is always room for more! I would like to implement the tools I have learned in 2020 and I would like to spend more time assessing what I really want and how I would like to live my life. I have received a LOT of advice in the last year, so it is hard to choose one specific piece of advice. I suppose it would have to be advice that has helped me a lot this year which is "As a mother, you want to give your 100% at work and 100% to your family, but you don't have 200% to give. It's not sustainable. You need to accept that you need to give less to each, and that that is OK." It's hard for me to not burn the candle at both ends, so it's helpful to keep this in mind. I can't be my best to everyone all the time.
Be more honest and less fearful. Say what you need to say before it builds to resentment
In reviewing my spiritual journal from the past year, two things stand out -- how nature and wilderness are absolutely vital to my well being, and how I am a "both-and" person. I need contemplation and action. So far, I am comfortable with being both a practicing Episcopalian and Catholic. We'll see how that plays out in 2021.
I want a new fucking President and an end to this pandemic. Either (both?!?!?!?) would do tremendous things to improve my life
I want to keep working on my blog. I have given up too many times before and I don't want to do that anymore. I love being creative and working for myself so I need to make this a priority so I can turn it into a career.
My suffering-confusion, anxiety, rage, and depression-arises from my mistaken perception that things and people are inherently as they appear to me. For example, I spend free time or time in the middle of the night alone and raging about the president. What a bad human being he is! He is terrible, and I am good. He is horrible through and through, he was born that way, and so I despise him. That is ridiculous. Like all people, he is capable of both good and bad action. He possesses positive and negative attributes and is neither good nor bad and, therefore, not worthy of anyone's hatred. I hate because of my mistaken perception of who the president is, how he is portrayed, really. I will improve and suffer less when I realize this truth about all things and people: they do not exist inherently but are aggrandized or made ugly by my ignorance and untethered imagination. So reflect on this again and again, that there is no good or bad but thinking makes it so. Amen!
I would like to be giving talks to promote my book. I would like to be working with excitement on my next book project. I would like to be closer than ever with my wife, romantically, sexually and every other way. I would like Jamie to feel able to have a loving relationship with me (but that is outside my control; I will stay ready to have a loving relationship with her). I would love my Mom to be more self-sufficient (also outside my control). I would like to have figured out definitively what I need to eat to stay healthy and not throw up.
I don't have a specific aspect off the top of my head. I know I want to continue and increase the addressing behaviors that don't give me a feeling of pride. I certainly need to work with my feelings of anger, dispair, and neglect. Identify emotions I actually feel versus the simplified words I use to describe them. I seek out and received guidance in various forms...to say that there was any -one- bit that will carry me to where I am trying to go would not give those pursuits justice.
DOn't hold back. Let's go for it this year!
Stay in the moment and focus on the joy.
I would like to lose some weight over the next year. I really liked how I looked and how I felt in my body at a lower weight, and I think it will help me feel a but better about my body too. It's something that I hope to do for a while now.
Be more patient, and be better with your rituals. It's imperative in life, marriage, and parenthood for you to have rituals that stay constant despite the world every changing (even during a pandemic). Stay true to your rituals and you'll stay grounded.
Right now, I'm really thinking deeply about the value of kindness. I just listened to the Yes Theory podcast about kindness and was really struck by its importance and how I don't practice it enough. Sometimes I'm so focused on moving justice work forward, which is so important in implementing kindness around the world, but I forget about basic kindness for all. Something to consider in this new year.
take care of health, exercise, sleep - actually do it.
As I write this, I am overwhelmed with worry and anxiety about the upcoming national elections. I fear for the democracy of this nation, for the potential for violence that will be the outcome should this president refuse to accept results that do not fall in his favor. I am heartbroken and angered at the ugliness and divide between neighbors, spoken or unspoken. So, right now, I have no advice other than to try to stay calm in the face of serious adversity, be true and honest and try to hold on to some kindness. However, be strong and clear and work for what is right and good. I will continue to take a more active role in our electoral process by making phone calls encouraging people to vote, I will continue to advocate for racial and social justice in those areas where I can have a voice. I will try to stay clear and true even while experiencing a heavier heart for our country than I have ever felt before.
I want to be living my antiracist values consistently in this next year. I need to continue to push myself and to stay committed to learning and acting daily, to helping other white people on their journeys, to amplifying Black and Brown voices, to educating myself, to taking antiracist actions over and over and over again. This includes interrogating my beliefs, pushing myself to do and say more, integrating this work even more deeply into my approach to my daily work, teaching my daughter these lessons from an early age, and more. Last year at this time, I was so focused on myself and the child growing in my womb. As I continue to want to focus on being a wonderful mom for my daughter, I see a huge part of that as making the world more just for her, for her cousin, and for all of us. This is the work, and this is my work.
Apart from learning to speak Dutch better I actually don’t want to focus too much in self improvement this year. I want to give myself a break, as I’m about to become a first time mum I want to allow myself to make mistakes, I feel a bit shit, to do things at my own pace and not obsess to much over trying to be the best possible me. If I can survive the year without to many meltdowns from me or the baby then I’ll be happy!
A mantra from Glennon Doyle: "I can feel everything and survive; I can use pain to become." It is no longer acceptable for me to hide from the pain of the world, the pain that comes with being a person who loves, the pain of being a being who knows that life ends. I can survive the pain, take it inside me, let it pass through, and let it strengthen me. I would like to continue building up my inner scaffolding to become a force of good in this life, to be strong enough to help carry the burdens of others without grinding down. I'd like to use this next year to become more open in my personal relationships and to trust more in the goodness of people. I'd like to unlearn the fear and despair, wear paths in my brain that help me respond with patience and kindness.
I would like to ensure my financial issues have been resolved and make sure all debts are paid. The advice/counsel I received was be strong, keep the faith and I am worthy
I want to keep up this weight loss that I started. I'm down 9 lbs since July 1st, and that feels good. I would like to be in good enough shape to exercise and not be tired. I want to feel good in my clothing. I want to be flexible again. It's all about dedication, commitment, and will power.
I'd like to focus on learning to forgive my past self, and to forgive the circumstances of my past that I resent. It can't be changed, and there's no point in wasting the energy on anger. If there's something useful, meaningful, or nourishing to bring out of those experiences, then I want to cling to it, but I want to leave behind the pointless negative emotions that I feel so strongly it affects me physically.
Be more tolerant and receptive to the views of others - including family and friends- even if I do not share these views. Be less judgmental especially with respect to my daughters. The sermon delivered by Rabbi Buchwald on Roshhashana on celebrating the birth of the world not its birthday on Roshhashana. It gave me the hope that transformation and new beginnings are possible.
A friend recently noted the way I hold onto relationships of the past, she told me to be more present..take a look around once in a while. I’m not sure if this is a part of me I want to change completely, but it is a part that causes quite some heartache and I’d like to understand it more. At the same time, it makes me me so the improvement is finding the balance. I put the most focus and analysis in my life in relations and emotions. I think distributing that effort, at least finding one cause or venue, elsewhere would be an improvement and offer something different and valuable to my life.
I would like to be in a better place financially that will allow me to buy my own house. I want a yard where I can grow vegetables and flowers. Stay focused and you can do it.
Trust yourself more. Go with your gut, know that you're smart and good and capable and strong.
Finally one I’ve accomplished from last year! I’m doing better with my money. I still struggle and slip on impulse buys...so little is happy in the covid era, when I find something cool I tend to go after it. But at least I’m building that into a BUDGET. It’s huge for me!
Try not to stress so much about things you can't control. I'd like to be a better person, to improve musically, intellectually, to be more kind. Part of that I think is just trying to worry about things you can control.
"I am not a monster". My energy is big and I have the right to be all that I am. I don't have to put myself on mute for anyone. Other people are adults that should be expected to manage their own emotions. I'd like to learn how to do that without seeming coldhearted or narcissistic.
At the end of this year I started to focus on improving my health - both through healthier eating but most through consistent and sustained exercise. I want to continue that. The healthier eating piece is rather difficult while we are in California living with Jonah's parents, but I know that I can do the exercise piece if I commit to it. I know its important for me physically, emotionally, and spiritually and I hope I can keep it up.
I want to use my time productively and not be a slave to my laziness. This year I have set limits on my phone screen time, what I put in to my body, exercise, etc. I want to be the best me. I don't want to make a lot of money or have a lot of nice things-I want to be able to be a happy with myself when I go to sleep at night.
I would like to achieve progress. Some of this will be forced upon me by our impending move to our retirement home in Nevada. But I'd like to strike a balance between laziness and purpose. Just over a year ago I met Dr. Ruth and her advice "You must LOVE what you do!" is something I'd like to put into action.
I'd like to continue striving to stay healthy and learning new skills at work.
It was great guidance! I still do a little Spanish every day, and its starting to sink in. Otherwise, as I get even older, I'll be missing half the conversations in California. Also picking up a tad of Hawaiian & Chinese for good measure. Main thing is that I stay in tip-top physical health. I very much want to co-parent future grandchildren. And I want to avoid the dowagers hump RGB suffered from getting worse. Working on some very specific exercises for that, and I'm actually straightening up a bit. Working on the computer, like this, doesn't help, however.
I am setting a goal to get more fit. as I spoke about with my therapist this morning, I want to be able to have a healthier lifestyle and potentially lose more weight. And the advice that will guide me is to embrace the process and not the results. If I am doing this explicitly to lose weight, it will not work. But, if I embrace the process of being healthier, and find the benefits along the way, it will work.
I would like to get all extraneous materials removed from the house and yard, so that the premises can be CLEANED and organized properly. Advice: If you do not exercise and eat right, you can't accomplish much of anything else. You MUST wear your cotton face mask whenever you go outside. It's not just Covid-19, but the smoke in the air, the dust from the fields, and the burnt grease from all the neighbors' cooking outside on their grills. Necessary first steps, so you'll have the breath to take additional steps toward the goal.
I'd like to let go of commitments that don't serve me well and don't fit with my vision for the future. I'd like to say no when that's the right answer.
I want a goddamn job that will last until I decide to leave voluntarily. Last year at this time, I was working at Insite and hoping that this was it, but little did I know that I would lose that job AND the next job that I got. It doesn't have to be super interesting or fun; I just want an OK job with a good boss and coworkers that's secure and stable. That's all.
There are four areas of self-care: Sleep Healthy Eating Exercise Creativity to spark Joy - engaging in writing Put the tech away at 10 pm - wind down for an hour and make sleep a sacred experience Schedule exercise and make a menu to eat well. Continue my writing. Set up a project to work towards - as in All of a Kind Family.
I want to be more assertive in my dealings with colleagues, friends, family, and especially my wife. I want to be more supportive in a meaningful way. For me it's improving our home. The bathroom remodel, the window upgrades, and the garage conversion are key projects that I must complete. These will improve our lives and my relationship with my wife and family. No doubt about it!
Still working on the communication thing. Building on from last year, I aim to continue to improve by moderating myself to be less emotive and strident - coming from the place that one of the things that causes and reinforces polarisation is coming across as righteous and convinced. If I want to be truly of service, I need to be equal and considered in expressing myself. Calm, neutral, faster on my feet yet still authentic. See ya next year.
Over the next year, I want to simplify my life and fun more. And I want to use this new focus and energy to help change the world.
My answer from last year was much more reflective, with more self awareness than I currently possess. I am completely stressed out by work. I feel I do not have the bandwidth to reflect and grow. I have switched to survival mode, on an extended basis. I know that I have withdrawn from Chris and the kids and everyone as the stress of the pandemic keeps taking its toll. I know that we will all be changed by living through this. I am uncertain if I will be able to overcome the need to withdraw, or if it will intensify as things go on. I can’t predict how this will affect me, or those around me. I hope I am able to find ways to reach out and hold on. I hope I am able to hold onto others not just for my sake but for the sake of helping them also. That kind of attachment that calls me to give to another often brings me back to myself and gives me purpose.
So throughout this year, 2020 I have been acting on and following through with life improvements in wellness, mental, physical and spiritual. It’s been challenging and I have at times felt stuck. But I try each day to work on something and I try to be consistent and I am my own best cheerleader. I hope to go into next year , with these minor improvements, to hit the ground running. My best piece of advice received was “ Get rid of the things that no longer serve you”. Good advice
I would like to become more mindful and aware of thoughts/feelings and better at responding rather than reacting. I want to be active in some way in society that is more integrated and outside church and spirituality circles, more the real world. I would like to contribute more actively to making our world a better place for my son and his family.
So many things to improve on, but, primarily, I just want to be kind. Not only on the surface. I genuinely want to feel love for everyone and everything. Whether they know it or not. I want to interact with people and leave them with a feeling of love and acknowledgment for who they are and what they’ve been through, especially if I disagree with them. I want them to feel heard. I think I unintentionally ignore people. I’m also a snob. I really don’t like that about myself. I need to improve on that.
One way I'd like to improve is to be more understanding, especially to people who have different life experiences from me. I can often be very focused on the specific outcome that I want and forget that not everyone wants those same things or thinks about the outcome of a task in the same way.
There are so many things I would like to do. First, I would like to be in better control of my time, and prioritize what is most important and what I want to do. I have so many books I’d like to read. I’d like to continue to paint and also learn to draw. I’d like to focus more on learning how to play the flute. I’d like to continue to have special and romantic days with my wife. I’d like to sleep better and eat less. Maybe do more walking in parks and trails. And of course I’d like to give more to my granddaughter and my daughter. I’d like to be more of a strength to my son. I’d also like to spend more quality time with my mother during these, her older days.
An oldie but a goodie - As to what to do, it does not change much from year to year. My 2018 was: My answer from last year (2017): This sounds akin to New Year's resolutions, but here it goes: 1) spend less time on the computer and more time at concerts and dances; 2) start playing the guitar again; 3) read more paper books; 4) cook more; 5) run a 10K in less time than my age; 6) spend more time with family and friends
I would like to be more on top of things financially next year - we’ve really upscale our lifestyle but we probably shouldn’t. I think this would make me feel more self disciplined and more secure. In addition to thief I would really like to journal again. I miss those evenings before bed at my desk just writing the day down. I want to make a morning/evening habit of sitting down in front of the hobonichi and writing about things. I think Instagram is going to guide me and inspire me with journaling as it did in 2019, and financially... I’m not sure if I need that advice. I know what to do... I just need to do it.
I'm so moved by what I heard about RBG. She was able to confront others about issues while not taking it personally or making the other person wrong. I want to be able to stand up for what is right, the way she did. Say what I mean without saying it mean. Stand behind the courage of my convictions with less concern about whether others will approve of me.
One of the BEST books that I've read this year is "The Four Agreements"; I just want to improve myself by not taking anything personally and not making assumptions. Yes, I've been in a couple of abusive and manipulative relationships, but I've learned to stand up for myself. I've learned to stand up for myself whenever I was sexually harassed at work. I want to keep on learning how to be HAPPY no matter what has happened to me. No matter how much others have hurt me and/or abandoned me, I WON'T let it get me down. As of right now, I am suffering PTSD from everything that has happened this year, and I just hope that my life will improve around this time next year. I just KNOW that I can stay strong and move on. I just KNOW it! And yes, I am willing to LIVE for myself and NOT for anyone else other than my family. I don't have to sacrifice myself nor soul just to be with another man; and I WON'T let another man scam me, take advantage of me, nor hurt me again.
I can't think of anyones council or advice this past year that changes my perspective. However, since I have recently retired, I do hope to find something meaningful I can work on. It is not my intent to just sit back and do nothing. I retired 2 weeks ago and have just been busy exercising (walking outside), cleaning the house, doctors, dog sitting. But I feel there should be more to work on. I did email the Federation to follow up on some volunteer work. So I hope I can start some fun activities and projects that I can do to contribute to my community. And I do hope we can feel safe to start playing and baby sitting with our grandkids Josephine and Joss again.
I would like to continue being more patient and see that in the next year I am happy with how much that has helped me grow. A piece of advice I have received is to enjoy the process rather than thinking of results.
If I can continue to learn and maintain my health, I'll be satisfied. I don't recall receiving any illuminating new advice this past year, but I have kept some old advice in mind. I remind myself to focus on process rather than obsessing over goals. It is important to have goals and to be conscious of them, but it equally important to "eat the elephant one teaspoonful at a time," rather then allow yourself to become paralyzed by the elephant's size.
I would like to get into better shape. I'd like to get back to walking around the block (about 3/4 mile). I used to go walking every day, but now, I don't even try to walk down to the end of the street. (1/8 mile). I miss seeing the neighborhood. I also used to read on it. I miss that, too. I need to get out more. Baby steps.
I want to be at 190lbs and 11% body fat. I want water to be my main drink and be a pescatarian. I find that I lack discipline and this is a way to engage that discipline. The image of Kung Fu the TV series is coming up lots. That desire as a boy was instilled and I want to be that image. Mobility and breathing are essential. Bio hacking is to be explored.
I want to be the person I truly want to embody. I want the house to be more completed and actually reflect who my husband and I are. I received advice today that will help with that process. Specifically in the area of building/adjusting habits and where my poor self-esteem and lack of self compassion has come from. It’s been an enlightening day.
I’d like to have a job, a baby, and be happier & healthier overall! I’d like to be much more intuitive trusting my gut, living an intentional life!
I would like to wake up earlier and be a person who consistently wakes up earlier. I want to improve my flexibility and embodiment through yoga and other embodied practices. I want to finish my PhD and give in the ways I'm meant to give in life - so landing in that in a career way. I really like my advice from last year: allow life to unfold, don't try to force anything; feel feelings, play, create. Which is aligned with what I'm really working with much of the time in just waiting and allowing life to unfold and being responsive.
I would like to establish a more regular meditation practice.
I want to be more loving and reach out more to friends, family and community. I want to embrace joy, while remaining aware of our global, national, regional challenges.
I have received so much brilliant counsel in this past year! If my mouth were as full as the sea... Some of the highlights: take care of myself before I start to feel wild-eyed; slow down and do the work; push the theology to its limit and see what's in there. I mentioned in yesterday's answer (?) about focusing on seeing myself more as a leader. I have in the past had a tendency toward the self-deprecating, some would say pathologically so. I am working to lay down some new tracks in this area and shed some of the baggage that makes me shy away from leadership. This is my opportunity to undo some long-standing patterns. I know it won't be easy, but I also know that my rabbinate will benefit from the work I put in to this challenge.
I'm pretty happy with my life. I would like to be more positive going into next year. Find a way to keep negativity at bay. I would also like to spend more time volunteering in a meaningful way. That will be my focus.
Get into the 160s for sure. It took me a long time to even think of my weight in a number starting with 100. I also want to seriously declutter and buy a new refrigerator. I also want a new shed so I can put my bike in it. I want to get dad's house sold and the will taken care of. When all that is done, IF the world is healthier, I want to go on a pilgrimage. I'm not sure exactly where yet. Big plans. Let's see how it goes.
I want to continue to build my relationships by reaching out to people regularly. I want to slow down and enjoy the moments. I want to feel more centered and grounded. The piece of advice is stop and smell the roses. Continue to express and feel gratitude daily.
I want to improve physically. Right before lock down, along with my annual physical, I had required preventative screenings, which included a bone density test. I have osteoporosis. During COVID, I have been doing a daily yoga practice specifically geared for improving bone density and have added more protein to my diet – drinking my home made bone both and adding collagen powder to my tea. But I want more professional (medical guidance) so that I strengthen my bones this year without any adverse side effects. On a lighter note, I also want a great haircut and since I haven’t worn much make-up in years, I want to learn what to use to enhance my features and look my most attractive. A few months ago AOC (Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez), who I admire for her confidence and power, did a digital makeup tutorial for Vogue. As she was applying makeup, she said several things that resonated as good advice for me - most importantly, “femininity has power.”
This is a really hard question for me. I have been working so hard to get to the point that I am now and even though I know this is literally the start of everything, it feels like I've just hit the high and need to ride it a little longer. That being said, I want to be better at committing to the things I care about. It's so stressful for me to pledge personal time to work and I think I need to suck it up and volunteer, and to feel comfortable giving that time without feeling like I'm losing something. I don't think there's been any advice in particular to guide me but I do think using my own internal motivators, my care for making this country and this world better, and my understanding of right and wrong can be a really strong motivator. I just need to listen to my heart a little more, focus on the things I know matter, and not settle for work that isn't fulfilling my inner need for working toward justice.
Become a bit better a follow up. “Go to bed a little smarter every day” - Warren Buffett Regular stretching and weight training. Add some new capabilities to my toolbox.
I would like to remember that my life is abundant despite all that is happening in the outside world. I hope I remember that I've set up my life to be different this year, and that I can write the next book, work PT as an editor, go back to hiking, and prepare for my post-2026 life. And the anger - that has to go. I think remembering abundance and also the self-love I've created for myself. I can trust myself to take care of myself.
I received a piece of advice today, from my therapist. To recognize what I do and have done and give myself credit. To recognize perfectionistic or critical tendencies. To be okay with me and who I am and what I want now, and not put on myself what I "should" have figured out or have opinions about. To recognize the ways I still may be influenced by others' expectations. To keep working on controlling my anxiety surrounding the various decisions and aspects of my life. To be content with me and where I'm at and what I do and decide.
I would like to move more and better, and I'd like to get more fit in the next year. I've gotten a lot of suggestions to give myself grace and protect my mental health during a pandemic, but I think a key piece of that must include creating a space for physical health, as well.
Stay busy and get plenty of exercise. Keep reminding myself that especially as I get older but still look young, remember to use my age and wisdom to advantage. I still have lingering childhood feelings of being undeserving!
I want to be able to make someones life better. I want to find a new way of creating money.
I would like to raise my vibration and feel in alignment with the frequency of love. I would like to feel sovereign in myself and in my power to create my life of bliss. Wake up and feel into your future every morning. Bring yourself back home to yourself and know you are your best friend and your best supporter and damn what an amazing supporter you are/have <3
I'd like to take time to commit to hobbies and projects that make me happy or smile. Living in the present is a consistent focus of yoga and keeping this in the forefront of my mind, my life will help me to stay connected to my goal to commit to having more fun.
I hope to pause more. I want to listen more and judge less. I want to be an encourager instead. Put on my mask first when the plane is going down. Breathe. We can do hard things.
i would like to regain some physical strength and mobility and it takes work and commitment. i need a push. get off your ass, and i'm improving.
Work on making my words kinder. The advice: I read it is a Buddhist saying to not letting any words leave your lips til they have passed through 3 gates: Is it true? Is is necessary? Is it kind? I am already good (maybe too good) at keeping things true. I am not quite so concerned with limiting to what's necessary. But I really want to be kind. I have noticed how the kindness of others affects me, and I want to be more of that sort of person for others.
I would like to better balance work and self-care. I want to continue learning, taking classes or seminars both in work related topics and in play / hobbies. I want to reach out more to family and friends. I would like to be more reflective about taking vacation time and “me time.”
Just breathe. think before you react or speak. How is my tone? does this person deserve my cold shoulder or annoyed voice? If roles were reversed, how would I want them to respond. just slow the fuck down. Reading the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu has changed everything for me.
Become active in racial healing in my community. Find a group, get involved. This is a stretch for me because I am introverted and busy, but it is critical for healing the nation. "Look at what you are doing right now. That's who you are." Rachel Maddow. Anotherwords, don't sit around on you behind. Do something to make a difference.
I want to be more driven to serve next year, so much so that I lose fear of getting out there and putting myself forward in front of my intended audience. I have heard too many times from friends, colleagues and students that I inspire them and have what it takes....but who listens to those voices when the one inside is so loud?
Well, I want to keep feeling like I am bettering my life. I want to have a career that is meaningful, even if it's not traditional at this point. I can't think of any advice per se, but everyone I know is so hella smart.
I would like to be more present with people, and with myself. I want to unplug more often.
I would like to continue working on my patience. COVID has made me grateful for the time I have been able to spend with my family, but I feel like my patience has gone the wrong way.
I would like to be more patient - which likely means being less enthusiastic. I have learned a lot from our Mussar study of these two soul traits this year - I hope they help me continue to seek a better balance.
I would like to feel more like I have a personal purpose of life. I’m told to try any and all hobbies. Try them on, don’t be afraid and see where it takes you!
Gotta exercise more to control the arthritis in my hip. My darling older sister, now 87, is a model for me of vibrant living. I try to channel her zest — she does everything she can to fight old age and enjoy her blessings.
I would like to believe more in myself and less in the people who want me to fail. I can't say I've gotten any advice from anyone in that area though.
I am guided by the fact that I should be creative in the mornings. I hope my writing is leading to a stand-up gig here or there. It will take dedication. Robb G, my life coach earlier this year, guided me to give myself permission to take it easy until January. If I don't use the time "selfishly", I will regret it.
I would like to continue to practice yoga and exercise every day, no matter how little or much I'm able to do. Advice? Everything counts! Also, I'd like to keep up my hand weights and eventually go back to the gym once the vaccine is available.
Remain optimistic and do as much as one can for oneself. Help all you can along the way and stay healthy and fit
Keep on doing what Im doing Do more courses and challenges
I want to be a better leader. With retirement in the not too distant future (3-5 years) I want to empower my employees to grow and get better and feel more confident in the work they do. That means giving up some control, being accessible and ready to make space for others input -- all while continuing to lead, guide educate. I think learning make space, giving people an opportunity to succeed without getting your ego in the way is a piece of advice I read someplace that sticks with me.
I want to keep prioritizing myself. I want to lose my last 10 pounds and keep it off. I really want to live in a way that is healthy and nurturing for my body and mind. I haven't necessarily received advice on this topic, but I was given the compliment that I do a better job prioritizing myself than almost anyone else. With parenthood on an ever-approaching horizon, I think this will remain incredibly important for my well-being.
Refer to answer #6. It about covered everything. I need a complete overhaul, body, soul, and spirit, including finances and self-esteem, and especially a closer relationship with God!
I'd like to give myself a break, give myself credit for all that I have accomplished, and give myself permission to do what I need to for myself. I need to be careful about how much I take on with caring for my aging parents, for one. I recently decided to take a 2 week trip by myself and have never done this before--I can't believe that I'm saying that. I never realized how much, in the past, my travels and plans revolved around work or money or relationship constraints. I have never planned my own 2 week vacation and I'm 54. During my retreat I confirmed for myself that I need to be viewing my life from a position of how much I have and am capable of, not a position of lack and what I haven't achieved. On the one hand I've done a lot of traveling, lived many places and experienced many things, but I am really exploring what it is I ask of my life, and what it is I really want for myself. I've limited myself in terms of imagining what might be possible. I want to imagine better and more.
I should lose weight, I would like to get back to better on committing to less and over-booking myself less.
Just keep going. There are always good things to be had even when things get very nasty or boring. I wanted to be pregnant this year, last year. That's been really nice and it's been good to be so. I feel like a weight has lifted off me, as opposed to having a weight added. Things are good so it's been a good experience. Today the 3rd trimester begins. After having that doctor tell me I wouldn't be able to get pregnant last summer and would have trouble carrying a baby, and scold me for talking back, it's vindicating. By next year I hope to be more financially secure and more able to get good freelance work. I want to be healthy and able to hike with the baby. And travel again.
I’m giving myself permission to start a shift from “driving hard to succeed” (controlling, demanding) to “allowing and surrendering” (safely, gently) to what emerges as true desire vs. obligatory responsibilities. This is a big challenge as I’ve operated in the former mode for almost seven decades. So, I also hope to hold onto a sense of compassion and kindness to myself, knowing that I can’t “command” the latter state, nor can I “beat up” on me when I lapse (i.e.: double punishment). I will endeavor to be loving to me as I go through the ebbs and flows of grace-filled “being” and grace-less “pushing.” I received wonderful support for these intentions from two close friends, one a co-writing partner, the other a co-coaching partner. The power of empathy.
Imagine a better future. Now, build that.
I still only have one mayor thing to improve, which is my diet. I need to eat better in order to control my PCOS. This is no easy task and there are so many different opinions about it out there. So there have been many recommendations or pieces of advice on that matter, but I don't think they help, as the confuse me even more. So I think I will have to try one at a time.
In April, during the early days of the shutdown, I was struggling with conflicting emotions of gratitude, for my safe home and steady income; and sadness, for the lives disrupted and anxiety created by the pandemic. A friend shared with me the helpful reminder that because we are all connected, my success is others' success and sets the example of ease, or flow. I've held on to this advice over the past several months, and continue to measure my days against this idea of lightness and less resistance to change. I am certain that the coming year will bring more unexpected shifts and hardship for many, and I hope to sustain my compassion for friends and neighbors who are struggling. And, at the same time, I wish to find more balance and stay grounded by doing my job well, spreading love to my friends and family, and remaining grateful no matter what the future brings.
I read somewhere a few months back that you can keep a cleaner house in fifteen minutes per day than in an occasional all-day cleaning frenzy. I should probably try that.
The biggest improvement for me is if I can keep the stress down and keep remembering that the universe has infinite abundance. I don't need to freak out. I need to remember not to hold judgement about things - we don't know. Do less, stress less, be joyful. Hold the image of my adoring/adorable children and loving husband in my mind. Be a good steward of my body, my family, and the earth. Deepak Chopra and his Abundance Meditation program has been helping me with this wisdom.
I would like to ask more questions, to do my reading more carefully, to really be present in the moment in class and in tefilah and with friends, to eat good food, to wake up earlier, to give people the benefit of the doubt. The piece of advice that I'm carrying with me: don't let perfect be the enemy of good. Also, be kind to yourself.
I have started Mandarin, so I know at the very least i'm expanding my brain. I would like to re prioritize my physical health and get that back under control - right now I'm constantly tired and have a burning feeling in my back after several days of weird pain in my abdomen (it moves and I am pretty sure it's due to muscle issues). I still want to feel better about myself, I am still struggling hard with that, and I wish I had advice that made me feel like I had a guiding star to follow, but I don't. I want to feel loved and enough, and like I am making the most of my life instead of wasting it.
I'm ... pretty great. I'm actually fine to excellent. I want to be more honest with myself (and those around me) with what I want, what I need, what is needed. Buuut.... I'm pretty great. It's the rest of the world that needs improving.
Concentrating on my mental health by practicing yoga & Pranayama.
The most important thing that comes to mind is McClendon’s advice to plan ceus. I find I am watching ads for trainings with an eye to “is this something I will use? Is it relevant to my practice?” It’s soothing to have that guiding my schedule.
As always, I want to continue with my health goals and losing weight. This pandemic has actually been good for that because I am able to walk more than ever. I want to find a therapist and talk through the sticking points in my life right now. I want to be more intentional about times with my kids and stop letting work and personal life bleed together. This is challenging right now with all going on but I can and need to do better.
I think just continue to make myself a priority. I have grown a lot and learned a lot this last year and am happy with where I want to be. Just make sure to always advocate for myself.
The advice I would give myself would be to chill the fuck out. I am not sure that's the question, but it's what I'm looking for to guide me. I'm hopeful to improve myself by not worrying so damn much about all the what-ifs and just letting life happen instead of worrying about every damn thing that MIGHT go wrong.
rereading last years answers I realize Motivation is always a problem, and I have just started a very new habit/ritual/rule? I don't know to help me just get going, things don't have to get done all at once, but just little bits at a time. So, today is the first day of just 5 things a day, plus a morning and evening routine. its a little shaky, getting started, and while I am loathe to say it, I might have to restrict my phone usage like I was a child. I would get bored enough to do stuff without it.
I'd like to more with strength and creativity and courage toward the change that is on the horizon for me in my work life. I've received the advice to see this change as an opportunity to create more of what I love, which is what I have been calling for.
Despite the state of the world these days, I am actually feeling quite self-actualized and that feels really good. I've continued to work out 2-3 times per week. It's been over a year now, and prior to that I maybe managed to keep it up for a couple of months max! I cook healthy meals for my family, we spend quality time together, I give my all at work and feel deep satisfaction with what I do, but also maintain boundaries and have enough time to relax and pursue my own interests. I've mentioned the plan for collective living in other answers, and one thing I'd like to improve about myself/my life is getting prepared for that a little more. E.g., I would like to run something like a soup kitchen/food pantry, so I should get some experience doing that and learning what is involved. That is my goal for the coming year, assuming I can safely find opportunities to do so given the pandemic.
I have made very little progress over last year's main goal, which was to be less haughty in my approach to my son. He is not me. He needs to find his own place in the world, and I cannot look down on him for not embracing the same things that I do, however important I feel those things are. It is absolute unfair, and I must overcome that inherent bias. On a professional level, I hope that at this time next year, I am closer to making my 2nd job (voice-over) into a full-time primary job by expanding the genres in which I can get work (eLearning, in addition to audiobooks). Maybe I will be closer to saying goodbye to my primary employer for good. That would be a great improvement.
I would like to lose weight,;save more money; be neater; have a cleaner, less cluttered environment; be a better teacher; have more integrity; be more reliable; be kinder; not have the cat pee on my bed and other places; not worry so much about what others think; have more friends; be less lonely; be more relationship ready; have a new car; travel to Colombia; read Martin Luther King Jr.....I don't have any advice or counsel that I received in this year but I'm still guided by Brene Brown's quote of someone else, "When you avoid conflict to create peace, you create the war inside." But I'll go for her advice in her podcast: Be brave, awkward, and kind.
keep pursuing creative efforts. It always makes you feel better.
I hope to be a better composer (always). And I hope to be more productive and efficient in that work. Most of the advice and counsel is self-inflicted, but I have a great therapist who suggests ways to push myself positively. Just got to keep on working.
I would like to have less stress in my life. I want to either live here in peace (please, G-d, help our country), or have an exit plan. I would like to be able to calm my mind down without the use of edibles or alcohol. I know I have talked about meditation over the years, but that just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me. Maybe what I really want to learn how to do is pray.
be in the present. get your mind thinking in the 3D, 4D, 5D, hell even 8D, just get your awareness on what's around you, what makes you thrive, what makes you smile, what makes you listen, what makes you love, what makes you giddy with joy and bashful with pleasure. it's the moments in life that count. what you keep around you to support you, your best you, your most authentic you, to do your best through love. and always remember to come from love. give love, receive love, be love, overflow with love because when you come from love, everything else will follow. (watching leiku, my parents' cat, in pure bliss snuggled up on my chair cleaning herself and purring pure love:)
I would like to improve my ability to be more self reliant and stronger in being able to express myself and my needs without anger or frustration. I think this will better allow me to make the changes I need to have a more fulfilling life in this next chapter in my life
"You've got to be good to be lucky; you've got to be lucky to be good." I think at least five journalists I respect have told me this over the course of the last year when I attributed too much of my success to luck, and I've really got to start taking it to heart - both sides of it. Because, yes, I've got to stop attributing all of my success to luck when a lot of it is skill. I'm very good at what I do, and I need to stop devaluing that both internally and to other people. But I also want and need to do more to make sure I don't "pull the ladder up behind me." In all of these places where I have gotten lucky - and I have been so lucky, in so many ways - I need to find ways to make luck less of a factor in other people's success. You shouldn't have to be lucky to get to where I've gotten, and where I'm going - I can never forget that. Also, I absolutely need to deal with my money anxiety before this becomes an even bigger problem. I understand exactly how I got this way - my parents raised me to have a weird relationship with money from the get-go, and I immediately went from that to having no financial safety net at all and having to do whatever I could just to get myself through school. But now that I'm actually stable - and I am actually stable - panicking every time I think about spending money on a "want" (or even a need) is not healthy or useful, and I have to find a way to get over this.
I am continuing to pay attention to my ‘reactionary streak’ this is an aspect of myself that got incorporated somewhere along the way -I do not believe that I was so reactionary when I was a child. Or, only when physically provoked as a child. The ‘take three breaths and exhale slowly and focus on calm‘ is my consistent goal in situations where I start to feel an unwelcome kind of excitement that is closely related to agitation blooming. I did not get advice per se - but this year I almost lost a new love relationship to ‘my reactionary streak’ and she put that so sweetly and so gently that is was easy for me to see, agree, and assure her that I too, am in full agreement- being reactionary is not productive and in fact, is counter productive in almost every situation that I encounter in life. I’d say the only time it’s valuable to be reactionary is in a split second life or death situation. At that moment I pray my reaction time is faster than the disasters time!
I want to keep writing and start reading more poetry.
I am looking forward to taking classes that I really want to take, from gym classes to Mussar to webinars about social issues of our times. The advice I want to follow, and that I've even given to others is that self-care is not selfish.
I believe that we all must define our own relationship with God, but I have not succeeded in doing this on a regular basis yet. I also believe I should not consume alcohol/cannabis for at least one day per week, one week per year. This, too, has not occurred. Whattup?
talking bad about people, trying not to listen is harder than doing the talking. it is easier to control your own mouth than someone else's. do more volunteer work with young kids, as soon as we can get to be with people
This ties into the question from yesterday for me. I need to figure out what direction my career is going to take going forward. I think I know what my next step is, and now I just need to take it. For the piece of advice, I'm going to list a quote that I just came across from Jocko Willink - "All of your excuses are lies." There are very few valid excuses in life, most of the time, we come up with an excuse because we know what to do, but for some reason we just aren't doing it. Quit making excuses, just get it done.
My father always said you need to take care of yourself before you take care of others, I know he was right even though I thought at first it’s selfish but after going through so much stress this year with covid19, death of my father, work related issues and a suddenly sick mother, trying to be there for everyone else, landed me in at mental and physical breaking point and only realised getting out of it on my own wasn’t working only with phsycologist helpeill I get back to normal. I realised that my father was right! By being unwell I can’t really help myself or my family. We should never allow ourselves to get to that point, we should listen to the sign within us, we know what to do if we do listen to our internal voice
Well, I’ve made a lot of progress as a singer and as a performer and I’m really proud of that! I want to be one of those knock out performers soon. It’s very important to me! I think the best advice I’ve received thus far was “6 months of consistency can change your life”. Like I’ve never heard anything more the. I just have to keep pushing. I’d also like to get back into precovid physical shape. I have to find a way to do that. I think I’m just tired from working
I would like to really overcome the loneliness depression attacks that so often result in overeating/bingeing. I think I'm on my way there, with answering questions about myself instead of phone scrolling, but I want to truly overcome that.
Making proper routines & sticking to them
I'd like to have a project in my life, a purpose, a big one. Everyday I give and recieve love, I cook, I order my house - anything that may make us happy. Yet, now that our lives are lets say tranquil, I'd love to put passion into something - besides love life which is great...
I would like to be kinder to my husband, who is so loyal and devoted. I am still where I need to be in my diet. I am making more art and writing, so only one out of three resolutions from last year has materialized.
I would like to have a full-time teaching job so that I can feel more confident in my contributions to my family. I also want to continue being a good dad and putting my son's needs first. "Just keep trying and being vulnerable with your wife and your son."
My challenge has always been having an ability to treasure...and manage the precious time that the rest of my life is made up of. I feel that I am finally beginning to exhibit the former (even in driving to and from work along the Mystic Valley Parkway)...and, having this fabulous new work space, finally being able to become more dedicated to, and skilled at, the latter.
I would like to be more emotionally stable, feeling the betrayal of my marriage has been a big wake up call and sent me into very young and afraid place. I guess that's a fantasy in itself. I would like to be more courageous in feeling the depth of despair, fear and hurt that are my birthright as a human being trying to be whole.
I guess in the next year, I'd like to get to a place that doesn't feel so sad or disheartening as it does not. To feel more confident again. Less anxious. Less full of doubt. I guess the best advice I've gotten is advice I haven't been able to follow. To just take in as much news as necessary to be informed, but not be obsessed. To call friends and try to maintain connection with the people I miss so much, yet feel too much fear to do.
Given the lack of good leaders in the world, and given that the United States seems to be on a race to the bottom, I have been studying the Stoics, and this quote has been the quote I want to use over the next few months and into 2021. “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Live for today but also for the future. Imagine what can be if we all do our best. Do you best every day. Make new friends. Reach out to old friends. Give love.
If I can't get my (very legitimate) anger issues under control, I may as well die and I'm ready for that.
I want to take better care of all aspects of my health: mental, physical, emotional. I want to eat more healthy foods and less unhealthy, to exercise at least 5x/week, and to cultivate the ability to let go of things I can't change. Good old serenity prayer: Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. This is an ongoing goal - sometimes I do better than others at fulfilling it.
Be honest. Be fair. Walk softly and carry a big stick, especially with old white men.
I need to spend more time with online learning. I didn't follow through with the magic lessons, and I about of practice on the piano lessons. More importantly, I am looking for a deeper relationship with Karen.
By this time next year, I would like to have taken steps toward sustainability and local racial justice. I've recently become very interested in certain sustainable initiatives: buying local produce from a farm share, going plastic free in my toiletries, carrying mesh begs instead of getting plastic ones, and sorting my recycling. I want to buy food and some supplies, like books and toiletries, locally. I also want to attend BLM seminars in my neighborhood and work to break down those barriers in the community I live in.
Nothing will ever be the same post-COVID. Even so, some of my health and wealth goals will be the same. But how will I change in the future? I think I'm more aware of the privilege I have. I hope that awareness causes me to take action and support others in way I didn't in the past. I want to support others in a way that is authentic to who I am.
I...don't even know. I've focused on making it through, day after day, that I haven't thought about self-improvement. I've been very glad that lots of people in my circle have been supportive of a "just keep your kids loved and safe this year" approach. I suppose that this company ng year, I can dot he same for myself. Keep myself safe and loved (by myself, and those around me).
Be clear with my needs. Continue to be compassionate and supportive of others. Disagree in an agreeable fashion. Try not to judge. State my views with passion and consideration.
I have been transitioning to a whole food plant based diet for health reasons and I would like to have removed all animal products from my diet within the next year. I had always been a meat eater so this is a big change for me but I am enjoying the challenge of learning new ways to cook and already feel the positive impact this has had on my energy and hopefully on my body chemistry. There was no one piece of advise, just an accumulation of reading and documentaries that has taken me down this path.
I've never been good about an exercise routine without a class. I'd just restarted a class when all shut down. I'd like to figure out a way for me to enjoy exercise so I stick to it. Advice- See last year's answer. Really, YOU NEED TO SLEEP.
I want greater inner peace and an absolute knowing that I am worthy of all of my dreams coming true. I want to strongly “FEEL” that I am doing great work, I am deeply loved and I am succeeded in my Life’s Purpose! I want to KNOW that I’m meant to prosper and allow my life’s true abundance to easily flow TO me and THROUGH me! I want ease, joy, peace and deep fulfillment.
I am definitely focusing right now on my mental health, and I would like to work on my coping skills and probably meditation. Hoping that going back to therapy soon will be helpful for that!
Keep on living life to the fullest! Enjoy each day.
I want to be more patient with people and not jump to negative conclusions so quickly. Don't assume malice where stupidity could be the cause.
I would like to gossip less and care more about my self development. I want to live in a house with my wife together. I don't want to rush from one place to another without thinking. I want to be able to create art whenever I like to. I want to be more calm and have less angry moments.
"Choose discomfort over resentment" -Brene Brown
Just do it. Even if you're scared. Avoiding just makes it worse. Experience makes it better/easier. This goes for all things (crafts, clothes, etc). Don't wait to use the perfect material or wait for the perfect occasion to wear an outfit. You'll never have that perfect project or event later. Do it now!
I want to eat healthier (she says as she eats a whole pack of chocolate biscuits.) I also want to continue trying to be more organised.
Usually I have some lofty goal or plan in mind, but honestly at this point I feel like just surviving 2020 is an accomplishment. Maybe I'm just exhausted from the work day while I'm filling this out or maybe I'm just exhausted in general, but all I can ask for is that Greg and I continue to be happy together, be in a good place financially, and that all our family and friends are safe and healthy as well.
Looking back on last year's answers, I do think I've become more present and more grounded, but I know there is more to be done on that front. I am often braced for the worst, and while I know that there are ongoing circumstances that produce that feeling I would like to open myself up more to the possibility and presence of joy.
I would like to improve myself and my life next year by having healthier relationships with others and letting go people, places, and things that no longer serve my greatest good. I intend to have a better connection to my Higher Power and be better able to hear and follow that guidance. The piece of advice or counsel I received last year was I can't convince God to do my will. I am the one that needs to do His will.
I want to be a better father. Oh, wait, that's what I said last year... Ok, let's expand on that: I want to be a better person, to everyone around me. I want to be a better dad, I want to be a better roommate, I want to be a better friend, I want to be a better son, I want to be a better member of the community, and I want to be a better me. I want to stop getting so angry with people, my kids, the world. The best advice I can give myself is: just let it go. Nothing is worth getting so angry about. Person isn't wearing a mask in the grocery store? They are an idiot. They are selfish. But that doesn't affect my life. Why do I care so much about that? Just let it go. It's not worth getting upset. It's not worth saying something. Just. Let. It. Go.
I would like to stop preworrying about things. It’s not productive and sometimes just leads to anxiousness that is not necessary.
So many things that are way easier said than done: 1. Be present with the girls. Enjoy them. This age will fly by. 2. Put the phone down. Look up. 3. Enjoy what you have while you have it. 4. Know yourself: I have my loop of feeling bored, feeling inadequate, signing myself up for something big, getting overwhelmed and then succeeding. If I can cut out the overwhelm my life would be way better. That's they key. 5. Just do it.... If you feel like it. I know myself. When I'm ready to do something I'll do it. I don't want to feel bad because I should be doing something. When I'm really ready, I'll want to do it.
I really need to figure out how to do something just for myself. As my therapist says, I generally take things to do for myself and turn them into things to do with the kids, or mike, or for others, and I really need to buckle down and maybe try a few things to see if they stick. Right now nothing sounds appetizing to me, or it does for a fleeting minute and then I talk myself out of it. Or I'm just "too busy" and feel more guilty wanting to do something for myself b/c I already take enough time to not feel well or be lazy. It would probably make a world of difference to figure something out on this front.
Swing harder. Per Miles Davis: “It's not the note you play that's the wrong note – it's the note you play afterwards that makes it right or wrong.”
I would like -- as always -- to be in better physical shape. I would like to tone down some of my bad habits and tackle at least one big office or non-writing artistic project. Not just knitting gifts, but one of the mobiles I have planned or maybe even finally getting through/having scanned the family photographs. I need to incorporate something like that in my routine, especially if we end up remaining in some version of quarantine. Ditto another writing project. I am thinking of doing something for nanowrimo but I'm not necessarily up for starting an entire novel so soon after this one, but maybe a new short story... So yeah, plans abound for self-improvement by way of health and productivity. As for advice, I can't really think of anything someone said, or that I read. Instead, I have guidance from dear friends who are politically active -- trying to follow their example just a little has actually made me feel less despairing, though I will admit that I know that every postcard I write is destined for the trash (probably not even the recycle bin...). Also talking to Dr. D, the psychiatrist I am currently seeing (virtually) has been extremely helpful and while there's nothing particular he's said that I've felt a need to write down, the experience has been extremely helpful, even if only as a weekly check-in. And lastly, that new To-Do list program (todoist) I implemented last year is quite successful, at least in keeping me organized. I still have too many things on the daily list (as options) but it gives me an overview and a sense of accomplishment.
Advice that I found that I received this year was to consider people that I work with as my family. Think about the words that we choose, "my colleague, my co-worker." Does that necessarily mean there is a relationship or investment to that person or persons? When I consider them as family, then I am more likely to be invested in them and their well-being.
Letting go of trauma and the past would make a world of difference. I think one of the most impactful things that's happened in the past year, would be confirmation from friends that I've made a difference in their lives. Thinking you're on the right track, and *knowing* so, are two very different things.
I've had a weird week. Hannah's bday was yesterday, but she's been in and out going up to Marin a lot. Z&L have been in Delaware for about a month now and come back in about 2 weeks. Work has been very stressful planning curriculum for Fall CIP that launches in 3 weeks. Our DEI curriculum contractor quit, so we're behind on a lot of stuff because she was supposed to curate those activities. Now we're in a time crunch and I'm feeling it. But luckily I'm going up to the Lost Coast for some solo car camping over the weekend to hopefully reset, reflect, and set some intentions. This is my favorite question! Other than the typical focus on biking, shibari, and salsa, which are always 3 skills/activities that keep popping up for me, I'd like to get more into sacred space and be in ceremony. Create more rituals and add more meaning in small beautiful ways, whether its creating an alter to recognize the seasons or amping up my journaling. I'd also like to keep working on focusing on myself. I've done a good job keeping things simple, enjoying the things that I do without needed external validation or witness of the other. Some other things include: - Asking for what I need - Being communicative with hooking up. Such as going on dates and making my intentions clear
It's possible that I may need to get off FB and stay off. I tried to make a post there, just now, and I couldn't do it. I wanted to write about this season of awe, gratitude, and repentance, and how I have two friends who brought joy to my house last night. One shared the most beautiful picture of a sunset over the railroad tracks, the other shared the most perfect story about teaching online. We had a few moments of respite from the struggle of daily life, and we laughed. And even though I have a club meeting that starts in 20 minutes, and I still haven't processed facts stuck in my head from five years ago, when the killer of Bettie Jones and Quintonio LeGrier walked away with no charges, and the facts of yesterday, when Breonna Taylor's killer walked away with a slap on the wrist, I have some peace and gratitude for the work before me. I am strong and able to work. My windows have screens that let in the cool breeze and keep out the yellow jackets that want to come in and eat the delicious cookies my friends gave me. And I have clean water that comes right out of the spigots in my apartment. I may not be able to return to Facebook, but I can return to my friends. Always.
I would like to take my writing further than it is. Finding a way to incorporate in more into my life. And possibly change jobs. It's been six years of the same routine every day. It would be nice to shake up my life a bit.
Relax and get rid of any tension that you don't need. My yoga instructor shared that with me this year. Best advice!
One is lose weight. I have always fought the scale. This year I will blame it on Covid19 we did not get to exercise much. No bicycling no hiking. Also to each healthier. A lot of times we just go out and eat what tastes good not what is good for you.
I really want to go back to running or to a steady fitness routine. Running will require a lot of strength training to get over my hip stability issues, but would give me a chance to get out and feel stronger. I need to be kinder to myself and protect my mental health so that I can stay sane. Physical activity not only makes me feel better about myself physically but also supports my emotional well-being. I'm hoping to come out of this stronger.
I would like to be completely different in body, mind and spirit. I want to give in to what “is” and try and be satisfied with the reality.
I want to get fitter again and I *need* to lose weight again. Both will benefit my health, especially the weight loss.
I need to make some big changes but keep my young daughter from the turbulence that will result.
I would like this next year to focus on reducing unnecessary expenditures. I have already started with food over the past few months, eliminating meat (other than fish) and learning that I was relying too heavily on fats. I want to continue exploring wasted eating habits. I would like to examine how and why I use alcohol and learn to do so more effectively and efficiently. I would like to reduce financial spending on unnecessary things--clothing, food, products, furnishings. I would like to examine how much volunteering I am doing in work for the sake of padding my CV. I have started going to bed earlier, so I am not overspending my awake time on evenings when I could spend it on mornings which I prefer. I want to look at time spent on social media/tv/movies to determine how much is most gratifying. So this proposed focus is partly about gathering data where I still need to learn more and part is about taking action where I already have the information I need. Piece of advice? Nothing in particular. Sometimes Kiki's "check in" language with her clients is helpful ("What are your primary foods?")
Don’t let bad experiences and failure keep you down. Don’t say yes because you think you have to.
By acting out balance. In my shape, my rest, my relationships... No peaks as far as possible. “El amor de tu vida... eres tú!!!”
If I'm being completely honest, my life is pretty great right now, despite the COVID-19 crisis. The only thing that I'd really like to improve on is movement. Since we've been in lockdown, I've let my regular exercise habits slip, and I can certainly feel it in my body and breath. I'd like to get back into the habit of incorporating joyful movement into my regular routine.
I'd like to become more patient with people who don't do things as quickly as I think they should, or who don't do tasks in the way I think they should. I sometimes feel as if I'm waiting to weigh in on things that don't actually affect me in any kind of a personal way. Today, in fact, I read an article that said before sparking conflict, we should think about how our lives would unfold if we did NOT do or say the thing we're considering. It was a longer way of asking, I guess, "Is this necessary? Is this kind?" Because if it's neither, maybe we should let it slide.
I'd like to find ways to incorporate more exercise on a regular basis, something that I would feel a desire to do on a regular basis. I suppose the advice is "just do it "!
I want to keep trying to repair this sad world, one deed at a time.
I wanna stand up for myself more. I gave myself a piece of advice earlier this year after a very uncomfortable interaction with a family member so I think I'll just write that one down here to hang on to it: "Reminder to myself I conduct myself with kindness and respect. I am allowed to make my own decisions and I know what is best for me. I do not owe anyone an explanation or a justification for my choices. If anyone gets butthurt about that, that is their problem, not mine"
I have been exploring how to cut down on regret and free floating anxiety. I love To Do Lists because they do just that. So I am going to step up my To Do Lists. Divide them up into Long Term, Short Term, Medium, etc. And add a column on each one for things I should do or might do, that I have decided not to do. Once I have affirmatively thought through something and decided not to do it, I can release it. So it doesn't hang around and haunt me, like that request for money from the local Lion's Club that is sitting on my desk without a decision right now.
Remember to always trust myself and let go of self-doubt. Be the confident, competent person I am in all situations, even when I am afraid.
I need to look farther. I need more ambition. I'm caught up in the basement and I need to move up.
Fill up the spaced with my ideas, my words, my movements. Be a leader.
Get a job and get good savings
continue to be engaged in world events and try to do my part. Learn more about anti-racism
I want to learn to live without the constant fear. Or at least figure out how to do what I know I need to or what I know is right anyway. Because I don’t think the coming year is going to be kinder or safer—quite the opposite.
Feeling more joy in my cosmic tribe. Many are reminding me that I am not alone. Sarah is tired of me cycling through this and ready for me to be done so she can work more powerfully through me. I realize I have had a very attentive, loving, supportive Cosmic Tribe my entire life. They taught me how to start my own business, they paid for my college and UCLA tuitions. They have had my back constantly and consistently.
I would like to get through an entire day without thinking about death (my own or my loved ones). Then maybe an entire week. That would be a real victory over my ever present existential dread.
I would like to figure out how to support myself to supplement SS in a way that reflects who I am and that doesn't compromise my time in life.
Golf. Just play golf. I'm good at it, I like it and it's a great way to spend some time by myself, away from everyone and everything else. No excuses; Just. Play. Golf. Not advice that was new to me last year but very apt and relevant today as it was last year and many years before that: Get out of my own way.....
I recently heard, "never waste a crisis," and I think 2020 is the poster child for that phrase. There is so much opportunity to take the pressure and disorientation as an invitation to retool everything. So many expectations and norms are laid aside right now that there is also an opportunity for more creative, risky, and just odd-ball solutions to be tried. I want to hold fast to these values of flexibility, resiliency, and risk as I move through the next year.
The 7 G's (that's my code language, e.g. golf, guitar, grace, etc.). I can't recall a piece of advice but I'll think more about it; I certainly could use such advice.
Be less distrusting. Listen to the voice of HaShem and you will be fine.
I would like to add more kindness to the world and use my skills as a writer to help business owners and solopreneurs make the most of their businesses. Mindset matters.
Don't beat yourself up for doing the "bare minimum". Sometimes your brain and body need a break from being super on top of everything. And that's okay!
Keep moving forward. In all things, love, spirit, health, weight, business. Small steps are fine but go forward.
I do think I need to be less of a hermit - reach out to people I care about more. Be less judgmental, and open to the array of experiences that others bring to our relationships. There are so many trite adages to guide me, but I think I just need to authentically get out of my own head.
I want to be kinder to myself this year - embrace the messiness of imperfection. I want to *not* do all the reading for my grad school classes; I want to take shortcuts when possible to get my work done *well enough*, and try to rest more. I need to let go of the need to be awesome at everything, all at once.
Find a workplace that values what I bring and balance that with a good work/home life balance.
Continue to work on the goal of holding my work more lightly. The advice I receive this year was “provide 30% less than usual; and see if anyone notices!” Easy to say but so hard to do.
I need to exercise more - even if it's just walking. It is difficult for me due to lasting issues after several skeletal surgeries- but I need to try harder.
I would like to keep improving in my non violent communication with loved ones, keep learning home ownership skills, and be as social as possible given conditions
Pretty much the same thing as last year. We have reduced the amount of plastic, but there is a ways to go. I want to be optomistic. I want to have more faith in the future. This isn't totally dependent on me... I know and try to do what I can, but it really isn't enough. I wonder whether we are on a slope and we can't get out of it...to environmental destruction and tyranny. I really want to be hopeful.
Live presently! Such a good reminder. Life is the day-to-day, not the future and planning for it (though that also does happen, of course). I'm hoping that I continue to try to do this. I'm so much happier and fulfilled when my everyday life is joyful and I'm doing things that make me feel alive. Climbing, sun on my skin, baking, speaking and being with those I love.
through covid, get up early and exercise
I think that I would like to feel more at home or like I really have my niche at Stanford. I think I struggled/struggle freshman year with friend groups and organizations. Now that I have a clearer picture of what kind of groups I want to be in, a lot of it is going to come down to putting myself out there. I hope I can be more confident in terms of that and confident in my ability to make a space for myself. I also hope I can be open to experiences I don't feel super comfortable in as a way of meeting new people and doing more things. I know this comes up a lot, but all we really have is right now, and even when the future looks more exciting and hopeful (than right now), it's still all we have and I want to use that to my advantage.
I would like to create a good work-life balance and a clear headspace to fully engage in both worlds. I feel as though thoughts of work intrude my family or friends time (which is part of being self-employed) but I would like to better compartmentalize. I want to spend as much quality time with my son, Owen as possible.
I just need to be more active. Whether on the computer, talking on the phone, cooking, walking, riding the bike, or just anything, I need to do more of it. I just need to listen to my own head.
I want to get up earlier, and to find more enthusiasam for being envolved in work.
I am 54. Every day I am trying to be kind and warm and considerate. This seems to work. People respond well. No-one has given me advice this year but I spend time with people I like. One friend has shown me how to enjoy a day without rushing to move on. My daughter has shown me how to listen without trying to fix. My granson has shown me how important cuddles are. So..no advice as such but I have been shown a path to greater contentment.
Cut down on drinking. Get writing. Get my time allocation right: attention for kids, husband and me in right proportions
Would love to have achieved passing the broker's license exam. That would help a great deal in getting a higher paying job and (possibly) a late start on a career. Real Estate license first. Can do that to make extra money.
Lose weight of course I don’t get a lot of advice (except the above) but healthy eating is the key. Jason and Adam are healthy eaters, they certainly didn’t get it from us. My guide should be using them as an example for healthy living.
I would love to be able to focus. Focus. I feel that loss of focus is a bit endogenous as well. If I fear something, if the mountain climb is too steep, I might look for other things. I should make my mind for start: is that for me or it is not. When my father says - 'look at the mirror, ask if that is for you', it should not be an exercize of self-entitlement and magical thinking - it should be a honest conversation where flirting with new things is ok, but should not become a distraction, a back the door excuse to drop down your commitments.
So, looking at my answer last year, I am super proud to say that I have finally made some progress with regards to my weight - and that has surprisingly been thanks to Covid. I have lost 14kg's during this time (due to the fact that I prepare my own meals and have not been dining out). So I hope to continue on this healthier approach to food for the next year! I also joined a fitness club in January which has been holding me accountable from a general health perspective.
I am the kind of person that sees injustice and works constantly to address it. Constantly. It's satisfying, rewarding and tiring. And I lose perspective. My 'son' has reminded me to focus on the big, big, big picture sometimes. In other words - look how far we've come! Even in 100 years. My natural inclination is to say: Yeah, but we have SO FAR to go! We have a lot of work to do to eradicate systemic racism and all of the fallout that comes from it. This year I will take time to look back and say: wow! Look how far we've come. In 100 years. In my lifetime. In the past decade. And no but. Just sit with victories - big and small. And then keep working!
Eat less meat, worry about stuff less, mind the business you pay for, your kids are individuals...treat em as such, smile more, talk less, listen with intention and empathy. Be good and patient
If you don’t change it, you choose it. I’m exercising and taking a memoir class! Researching a new career. I don’t choose this past year, so I’m changing it.
Oddly, in spite of the pandemic, I feel no particular urge to improve my life or myself next year. I have done what I can to improve my health, and am doing my best at using my skills to contribute to the development of new therapies to treat disease. I work hard at staying connected to my family, minimizing my tendency to judgement, and showing love to those I love. Could I have better abs or read more "great books?" Probably. Do I care? Not really. I am most interested in figuring out what more I can do to improve the lives of people who are not in the place of privilege that I occupy in this world.
I'm getting ready for a new professional phase and move (desired but timing not my choice). Interestingly, I wrote about this last year, about how I wanted to go outside my comfort zone and start a new professional phase, and now I have to because my job is ending next summer. I also hope, God willing, to continue and increase my creative outpouring: writing my memoir, publishing mom's memoir, doing more to share my photography, continuing with my social media, and teaching in new venues. I have already been doing those things and I just hope to be more consistent and regular about working on things.
Be healthier. Fit. Want to be able to be active in my Golden years. Advice from this year... wear a mask!
I would like to step towards a more minimalist lifetyle. It feels hard right now when we are stuck where we are, but as I get older and more aware that I'm mortal, I'm increasingly aware of the mess I'm leaving behind and I'd like to find manageable ways to clean that mess up. Own fewer things. Take up less space. That sort of thing.
I want to continue to grow, spread my wings, learn new things and lean in. I want to continue to be the best me that I can be - no matter what that looks like! For the first time in a long time I am comfortable with being a "we" and am excited for the next steps we take together as a couple and how we will continue to navigate the rough waters that lie ahead of us and hope for smooth sailing. I am continually working on patience and grace and wish that these strengths continue to be present in my life - I wish to hold space for people and be open to recognizing when someone needs holding up. I am proud of who I am as a being and happy to surround myself with life minds and souls - I am content and happy and silly and learning to laugh more at things as the laughter bring bubbly joy into my world and of those around me! It really can be contagious!
Focus on spending more time with the people that matter. Don't go out to go out. Be purposeful in what I give my time to.
I would like to establish practices that will keep me grounded and out of my anxious mind, out of catastrophizing, so I can stay more present for myself, for my students, and for those I love.
This past year, I was struck by hearing someone talk about cultivating a mindset of abundance. I have taken initial steps to do this (a sticky note reminder on my mirror), but would like to deepen it over the next year, especially with regard to friendships. I want to be able to focus more on the relationships I do have and how much they contribute to my life, rather than seeing the gaps from the connections that are missing.
1. Be a better human. More compassionate, generous and kind. 2. Be a stronger human: more confident in myself, loving of myself--strengths and weaknesses--, willing and able to give and receive equally. 3. Write like my life depends on it. And write like what I have to say will matter to others as well. Finish it and get it out into the world!
My improvement, and I'm already working on it, is to improve my attitude, my perspective, my compassion, and my overall orientation to what is. I know this is about my own energy field, my mind, and even my heart. It's time.
I want to shift the balance even more towards 'giving back' and serving as mentor/support for younger people.
I would like to slow down before responding, especially in conversation with my spouse. I have a real tendency towards "ready, fire, aim" that doesn't serve me, and could almost always use to take a beat.
There are so many ways that I want to improve myself in the coming year, but to choose two which to me feel that they rise above all others, it is (further) cultivating mindfulness and willpower. I believe that these two traits play a role in every part of our lived existence, and to improve in those two areas will have incredible downstream effects on many other facets of my life. I am not naïve, and fully recognize the difficulty of cultivating true mindfulness and real willpower. But just because it isn't easy doesn't mean its not worthwhile!
Get healthier.play more. After regaining my physical health for the most part I treasure the feeling of not being sick. I want to experience this feeling for as long as possible. I want to play and have joy and go places I have not seen and do things that I have not done.
I would like to be content and value my life and happy times as a general way of life by this time next year. I have heard about living in the moment, and maybe that can help me as I move forward
I really want to focus my next year/stage whenever that begins with a focus on building a community, to think beyond the personal to the collective, and work together on projects. Freelance journalism is a very lonely endeavour and it has made me entire too self-focused, and it's desperately time to break out of that. Plus, so many books I've been reading lately have come down to one theme: the happiest life is that spent with a community. And it's time I started building that for myself and for my family.
I would like to feel rested. I would like to feel balanced. I would like to escape isolation. I would like to survive. I would like be less crushed by my depression. Let go of the SHOULDs. In a time of #COVID19, who the fuck cares if your house isn't clean or your dishes aren't done?? If your craft projects become UFOs? If you've fallen off your exercise regime? If you can't handle being out in public? JUST FUCKING SURVIVE. Everything else is icing on this shit-cake of a year.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Also, you can't pour from an empty pitcher.
I would like to be less bitchy and judgmental with my family, and to be less angry about having to be the responsible rock and caretaker, a lifelong role I can’t seem to get out of.
I want to work towards being a more positive caring person. Negativity eats a person from the inside out. I don’t want to be that person
I want to get my health back - through exercise and diet. I don't hike anymore, and I have a lot of trouble getting up from the floor. I am still young enough that I should be able to do both of those things. Dr. Lenzkes told me that my insulin levels are key. I won't go full-on keto like he does, but I can tell lowering carbs helps, because when I eat less than 100 carbs every day, lots of symptoms start to clear up.
I'd like to not hate where I live and who I live with. I need the wisdom to know whether this is something I need to accept or to change.
I turned in notice this morning and figure to take a gap year or more. So in this year I hope to spend more time helping others, gardening, learning and growing as a person. I am taking a leap into an unknown and hoping for the best.
Be more open to criticism maybe? Not to get defensive about being called out? IDK. It's been a weird day in which I've been accused of "paternalism" and falsifying other people's narratives to fit my own (essentially because I questioned the atheism of Israel's founders and pointed to their connection with the Hebrew Bible)... It's left me disturbed. I was also rocked by an exchange with an Arab salesperson at a grocery store. I went to pick up an order I'd placed online, but she works for the store itself whereas I was picking up from a provider that was using the store as its base. It led to a misunderstanding in the course of which I raised my voice at her. Later, I apologized for having done so, but she kept bringing up my "yelling" at her. And I kept saying, "But I apologized." Did I wait for her to accept my apology? I don't think so. So that was a shocker to myself. After apologizing, I have to wait for my interlocutor to *respond*! How simple and self-evident, right? But how neglected in reality.
STOP DOOMSCROLLING DRINK ONLY IN MODERATION MOVE YOUR BODY EVERYDAY, EVEN IF IT'S ONLY TO TAKE A SHOWER KEEP DOING THE CROSSWORD PUZZLE BE INTENTIONAL CLEAN ONE THING EVERY DAY WIPE DOWN COUNTERS
Work on disengaging from work when I'm not there. It's something I started this year, but well definitely be something I still be working on in the future.
'Don’t ask so many questions' it puts people off. Paraphrase, paraphrase, Paraphrase! 'Live in the present. Do the things that need to be done. Do all the good I can each day. The future will unfold.' Looking behind I am filled with gratitude. Looking forward I am filled with vision. Looking upwards I am filled with strength. Looking within I discover peace.' Thomas Merton
i need to start my lab, write grants, build up a research program and maybe come close to getting results from my lab. i should leverage other relationships to collaborate to get started. i gave that advice to myself. i think it's good. i also need to go to bed early enough. sleep and relationships. two key pieces for a good life.
Get more exercise and lose weight.
I need to be better at standing up for myself. My whole life I have operated thinking people would like me more if I did whatever they wanted, but that is an immature way to operate and can possibly lead to dangerous situations. I also try way too hard to not stand out because I don’t like having to get behind my opinions. I think I have learned in the past year that there’s no one true path for anything, so my choices are as valid as anyone else’s.
Just don't give a shit! A wise woman told me you reach an age where you just don't give a shit. I thought I was there but I was probably just starting to reach that point. Too much time is spent worrying about what other people think about me. In addition I spend too much time worrying about how other people look. But that's their business and not under my control.
Covid19 has helped me to be comfortable and happy with every situation that presents itself I have goals and aspirations however I have now learned to take life as it comes for there is always another day or another incarnation.
I really need to clean my house.
I would like to continue to recognize that others judge things differently and that that difference is okay. The comments from Joe Biden of how he learned that when he wanted to confront another politician that seemingly did not support disabled people when they adopted a disabled son is a good example of that
Take your own advice. Swallow the frog first.
I really wish I will be brutal with my clearing out of my house to sell--not try and bring it all with me. I hope I treat it like a job to get it done! Many people have said to just be cutthroat, so I aim to do that!
I want to be more appreciative and more present. I feel that I live too far in what's going to happen in the future, and this year has taught me to slow down and realize that we can't plan everything too far in advance.
I would like to be healthier. No special advise, just accept what you can not change.
I want to take time to enjoy moments, and not let obligations rule my time. I want to have better inner peace, and be more aligned with my true self. I am nearing the back half of my existence, and I don't want to regret how I spent my time and what I focused on.
sobriety. generosity. We are imperfect, life is very hard at times. You aren't doing it wrong. This is what it means to be human. Circumstances arise every day to help us practice wholeheartedness - maybe never getting it right, but always practicing. And being mindful of the seven generations ahead of you that will be impacted by this practicing.
I would like to arrive at a Philosophy of Life of some kind and actually live it. I believe I have lived a life of survival most of my life and would like to change that to something else. Not sure but needs to be lived on a daily basis not every so often.
I will strive to live life to the fullest, now, because tomorrow is not guaranteed! These are times that make me better appreciate every day that I am alive.
I loved this simple but profound quote by RBG regarding how she wants to be remembered: ‘Just as someone who did whatever she could, with whatever limited talent she had, to move society along in the direction I would like it to be for my children and grandchildren.’ ”
Let go
I will start counseling next week. I want to improve and clarify my emotions, reactions, responses, head blabber. I hope I will still want to live in this country. Right now, I'm not so sure. Yesterday Romy told me to "move a muscle, move a thought", or something like that. I don't want to feel paralyzed by the assholes. Somewhere I believe that there are more gentle people in the world than assholes, but we will see what transpires.
I'd like to invest more in friendships, especially girlfriends. I feel like my actions don't match my values -- I say I want closer/deeper friendships, but spend more time by myself or just with my partner.
SLOW DOWN. SAY NO.
The Brene Brown quote "Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we'll ever do," is one that I really have taken to heart. I want to be more OK with my story- not wondering if I made the right choices or having regrets but understanding the ways in which the choices I did make, for better or for worse, led me to where I am. And I want to become more vulnerable in opening myself up to sharing that story, not just the good parts or putting a spin on the bad parts, but owning my choices and sharing those.
I don't think so, or if there is I am to exhausted to have recognized it. I will say it's not recently received by I do hold by two lyrics - "This Darkness has got to give" and "Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right." By from the Grateful Dead, and Goddess knows I sure do miss Jerry.
Get more exercise! Enjoy being outside in the fresh air, all of nature!
More day trips to nearby cities, more visits to museums and cultural spots. This was one of my goals last year, and is more important this year. During COVID, I've completed the book The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and will continue to follow it's practices in my creative life.
I would like to take more care of myself, especially when it comes to my mental health. Committing and sticking through therapy I think will help me immensely grown in the next year.
As a chronically ill person who does work reverently to improve my health, these questions are getting me down. I would like to improve my life by having a way to have good, healthy, food even on days when I am too tired to cook. The health coach at Cleveland Clinic got me investigating meal prep services since the help I had before the pandemic is no longer able to come.
I would like to feel more optimism and less cynicism, which would be aided by the political situation. I hope to keep a little serenity from the diminished rushing around that COVID has enabled, but less of the anxiety that has accompanied this period (so far).
Continue to think of how I can support others—my family and friends
Slow down. Be IN the moment. Notice details. Strengthen relationships. Learn to BE rather than to just exist. I don't know how to make this happen. I don't know if I can make this happen. But it's what I want.
I want a degree of financial independence. I've been told I don't have to do this life on my own but for my own sake, I need to know that I can take care of things myself.
Be happy in the present but keep moving forward! Love, Past Eva
I would like to improve myself jewishly and continue practice being center of attention whether it’s a spiritual lesson or story that I can share. My advice is have the courage to speak up!! No one will think I’m dumb or stupid. That’s their own shit
I want to focus on my art. I need to just start making and not worrying about if it's productive or good. The most important thing is rebuilding the habit and the practice. I need that before I can let myself worry about the rest.
Improve my exercise program re cardio, and continue to take care of my back and hip.
always tell the ones u love that u love them. And watch out fire WILL BURN
Downsize. Get rid of stuff.
Get healthy. Fit time for exercise, try to get to a healthy weight. Eat better meals and drink less soda. See all my doctors as needed for preventative visits. I don't have advice or guidance, but I can take inspiration from Ruth Bader Ginsburg - apparently her exercise routine was legendary and kept her fighting until the end. So I will borrow her tenacity.
I want to improve my physical condition and continue at the gym
My answer is the same. To have the wisdom and guidance to be the kind of mother to Jake where he would be supported yet able to grow, learn to deal with struggles and challenges. To have patience with my parents as they age. To try to be open minded politically and in other ways. I am on a path to all that but always room for improvements.
I was told to consider the possibility that things may not actually turn out to be as bad as I expect them to be.
I'm hoping and praying that my life is improved by getting the orange man out of the White House. I also hope that he does not get to nominate somebody for the court. I hope that my life will be approved by living in a better, safer, more accepting country. I'm hoping I can get out of here and move to Australia.
RBG passing was a shift for me. Her discipline to her health, well being and right living was inspiration to look at my daily habits and see where discipline could improve my overall wellbeing. So I have started to eat better (ie less), drink less, meditate every day, write in reflection on my art daily and engage in intentional exercise. The discipline extends to my relationship to my art, conscious deepening, reflection...fed by my Artist Connect group. If I maintain the discipline, I believe my life will be rich, full and rewarding, which I can extend to others.
Wow! During this pandemic time, I've spent a lot of time in the evenings watching mindless TV and nodding off to sleep. I'd like to keep striving to exercise more, watch TV less, read more, write more, study more, play less word and matching games on the iPhone! Okay, that's plenty.
I would like to continue to push myself to be true to my feelings and express myself without fear of rejection or failure. I found a fortune that apparently I've been keeping in my wallet for some time: "If I bring forth what is inside me, what I bring forth will save me."
The big thing I would like to take with me is that Anxiety Brain is terrible and I should do my best to ignore or counter it. Do The Thing, whatever The Thing is, that AB is trying to keep me from doing, because it won't take that long and I will feel better after it's done.
I would like to be less angry, less judgey, less worried about other people’s actions and how they may or may not influence people’s opinions of me. Let people accept your for you and not for things and people around you. And let people be theme.
I want to take better care of my physical health by eating better.
I would like to DO more. Since my past volunteer activities are now curtailed, I want to work more in the local community, especially around food distribution. I also, as always, hope to find more peace with my son.
My house has just got broken into today. All the money I kept there has been stolen. So I guess the lesson is I should take better care of my money and home. Also, I should invest in home security. Maybe get some barbed wire. A shotgun. Voodoo dolls to poke the eyes out of every scumbag who makes the world a worse place by robbing innocent people. And kids, if you want to improve your life, keep your money in the bank.
each time I get this question I say that my goals continue to be the same since I haven't yet achieved them. I guess, well I hope that I will always be working on improving my health and my diet and my fitness. I hope I will always be learning new things and meeting new people and taking part in tikkun olam. Advice or counsel? Nothing comes to mind. I just need to get over myself and be disciplined enough to do the things that need to be done. Rather than sitting at my laptop typing all the time!
I don't know. I want to do better in school
I am working on learning healthier ways to unwind and leave stress behind. In addition to Pandemic Times being more stressful, many of my stress outlets are simply not available. Letting stress build up is not a viable option, so new skills must be learned!
I want to reach my current goals, and finally put in the work the i should be putting in.A piece of advice that i got would be knowing that when i work hard now for months or years, i must look forward to the years in the future where i can rest.
Sleep soundly.
I'm not writing about my weight! Hallelujah! I would like to continue what the pandemic has taught me about slowing down, not being FOMO, accepting what is truly impossible to change in terms of my previously very social life. Now no theater, no travel, no restaurants, no hugging. It's very hard, but I am definitely among the lucky ones, so I just want to continue to try to be calm inside the storm. I love how this time has made my priorities so different. Like I don't care when or what kind of wedding Rachel and Scott have.
There is so little that is actually in our control and yet so much. Realizing that the little acts of daily living are important matters. I cannot control what happens in Washington. I will not give up. I will vote. I will remain active. I will call and write. BUT, and this is what's important here, I can only control my words and actions. That's it. I need to be the person I can be proud of, the person I want my children looking up to and my spouse loving. That's an awful lot of work in and of itself. I've expended so, so much energy and worry about the state of the nation and world. I would like to step back and focus on what I can actually control. I think that is going to require discipline and strength. It seems like a big challenge, but also will be a huge improvement for me and my life.
Care less about what others think about you. But also invest more time in those that really do deserve it
I have no pressing need to "improve myself". I truly hope that, within the next year, I will be able to see improvements in my life, in the sense that I hope that there will be a safe and effective vaccine, and a reduction in Covid-19 infection rates, which will allow for safe social interaction and travel.
I would like to reclaim the idea that people are generally good. That their intentions are generally good. That when pushed people will decide to do the right thing. I'm not enjoying the misanthrop I am becoming and speaking with someone who isn't, really shone a light on how little I expect of others. How I have lost faith in mankind to do the right thing.
Be noticed by benefits of action vs feel badly /guilty by not doing it
When in doubt, under-schedule. I wrote that down just a few days ago. Most of the entire book Atomic Habits would count as counsel that could guide me. I want to manage the stress of life (including a parent with dementia) and lose weight. If I can do those two things, I will consider it the best year of my life.
I would like to become less aggressive in my approach to antagonists. I would also like to spend more time taking care of myself, spiritually, mentally and physically.
1. To have a optimistic outlook of fellow man for the future. But common sense & reality says it will not happen!
I would like continue working on my capacity to be more patient and understanding. I also really want to work on letting things go, not to get so upset or feel the need to lash out. I need to find the extra measure of strength to overcome these shortcomings.
I would like to be able to find calm amongst any storm. God renews us every moment.
I'd like to continue to focus on self-care, moving my body, generally being kind to myself, and enabling myself to achieve my goals.
I need to find a way to be more kind, more generous with my time and emotions and less judgmental. I know this coming year will be transitional for me—with my father’s passing, my turning 65, and having more responsibility for 2 grandchildren. I would like to be more mellow and easier to be with,
I would like to get my health back to where it was before the knee problems that began in March and the mystery virus (that probably wasn't COVID, but shared many symptoms, and its slow recovery) in August. Advice? No.
I want to improve in the next year by meditating more to develop more mindfulness every day. I hope to live in the moment and recognize thoughts as thoughts and feelings as feelings, not being defined or attached to all of them. Developing more of that space, taking a step back, and noting will help in the coming year, which promises to be unprecedentedly stressful because of the pandemic and political situation here.
I just discovered this Albert Camus quote: "In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." I wish I had found a way to cultivate that invincible summer during this actual summer, when I felt so much despair. I want to cultivate it as much as possible over the next year.
5 fewer pounds? Get a little more adult about bills and stuff. House maintenance too.
I would like to become better listener. If I was better listener, I probably would have heard an advice that surely was given to me. But it takes two to receive an advice: one to give and one to hear it.
I would like to continue to be more open to change. I would like to be less petty. I would like to prioritize time with my family.
Practice healthy self-care, remember to "bring the cake", and regularly ask myself "what would my true self do now?"
I would like to build healthier daily habits with exercise, sleeping, and eating.
I would like to be a better karateka, better wife, better sibling & daughter. Less eye-rolling.I seem to have solved my procrastination problem, by cutting the day into small chunks & by saying "get on the plane," meaning make it impossible NOT to do whatever.
Try and be mindful and live presently in the moment. Work on my physical and mental health (exercise, yoga). I can only control what is in my control.
I've gotten probably all the advice that I'll ever need, and yet still struggle with motivating myself. I'd love to be able to do tat on a consistent basis.
I would like continue my running/walking, perhaps getting a little faster and more comfortable with the actual running part. As my cousin said last night, it's not the number on the scale, it's the way your body feels and your the way your clothes fit. I would like to be a tidier person but not sure that will actually happen.
Dana said it to me: One small change. Make one small change. Then you can build from there. Do not beat yourself up with all the things you want to add to "fix" yourself. You are pretty awesome right now. The rest is gravy, just don't eat all the gravy. teehee
Stop hesitating! You don't have to sit with something before doing it. I know jumping into action gives you anxiety, but sitting in anticipation does it too. In the end, you face way more anxiety and/or you just don't follow through. You don't want to be the person who doesn't follow through. How many times have you finally gotten around to something and it wasn't that bad? Yalla, let's go!
I am continually working on being less judgmental. I suspect if I can continue learning to be kinder to myself I can be kinder and more generous to others. I have been spending time with someone who approaches the world with kindness and hope to learn more from them.
I feel like my response will be so trite but I'd like to get back in shape. I've let so much slide, especially with the pandemic. I do think that holding how much I treasure my family and how good our 'quarantine' has been at the fore of my mind is a good goal.
I would like to improve myself by furthering my education and becoming a nurse. My advice is to all think positive and it’s never to late to get your life together.
I would like to be able to devote more time to social justice issues. Having the luxury of not having to deal with institutional racism on a near constant basis is not an excuse.
By next year, I want to be less concerned about money and enjoying my work, wherever it will take me. So much anxiety arises from whether or not I'll get fired, and if I get fired I'll have no money, etc. Just focus on being the best you can possibly be. If anything, the pandemic has proved that work isn't so important--in fact, it's precarious and fleeting--but family and friends are always there.
I want to lose weight and get healthier. I've said this repeatedly and it feels like every time my kids and husband and job take priority. I started therapy a few weeks ago and I'd like to get my head clear so hopefully my body will follow. My new PCP said that too.
I don't know. Not that I don't need improving, but for now, I am just focused on surviving.
allow myself, ALLOW myself, less time to worry
I would like to develop a deep and abiding trust in myself so I can be open to trusting others.
I'd like to exercise more and get control of my finances one way or the other. My advice to myself is stop spending money on crap!
It's your life, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
To be more optimistic and positive even in the face of our current local, national and global conditions. I heard it said recently that people can impact outcomes by expecting good. I agree.
Let go, let G-d. Let's let go of all the angst that comes from trying to control what we can't. Trust. Keep the faith. And trust some more. Life is happening as life was meant to happen...and it is in hands far wiser than our own. Be grateful. Stay grateful. Never let go of that gratitude. Hold onto it like an anchor. Let it keep grounding me and reassuring me and strengthening me.
Improve my diet, and get back to exercising more. Covid is making that more difficult heading into the colder weather, since my work gym is closed. I would also like to do more outdoor activities such as hiking and biking. And if tRump steals another election, I'd like to come up with a survival plan, because I hate what he is doing to America. The best thing I read was a high holy day reflection from a rabbi. He was explaining that a major purpose of this time of year is to resolve to become a better version of our selves. That's a worthy goal for sure.
I would like to continue to improve my health and to declutter my home. Both of these require me to battle my tendencies toward procrastination.
Get out and do more: hiking, camping, boating, etx.
I would like to get back in shape, lose 10 pounds and exercise regularly for my health and mental health. I'd like to make yoga a part of my daily life. I would like to grow in patience. I don't get a lot of advice from people. Maybe I need to seek out more :)
I want to happy and content wherever I am. I want to be back in Boston or NYC, have a good job and be happy and healthy.
I recently listened to a Sam Harris podcast about mindfulness, spirituality, happiness, and what he learned from doing Ecstasy. And he remarked that the drug caused him to be overcome by love for his friend and also helped him to see that love and happiness and success for his friend were competently in-step, not out of step, with his own happiness. He spoke of how delusional jealousy for that friend was. I've recognized that I am a somewhat jealous and (passively) competitive person. I am jealous of my friends who have kids, those who make good money, those who have cool jobs, etc. Subsequently, when Nate or Jesse seem to have it together "lesss" than me, I feel good. When I hear that Benjamin and Sami argue a lot, I feel good. Jason is doing great in life, and somehow I feel like I deserve that greatness more than him. Just a day or two ago, I considered the fact that I went to a UC and he went to a Cal State and I have a fancy masters- I 'deserve' more than him. This is ridiculous and I also know that he and I will likely be somehow responsible for Brooke and/or my mom. I NEED him to be successful. Even Jess, my own wife!!!, was offered a job making slightly more money than me, and I felt jealous. And in that instance, her success IS my success. Also, why would I want her NOT to be successful?? I don't like this about myself and I want to balance the "push for betterness" that stems from jealousy with a much more healthy outlook, that I want those around me to be happy, successful, and self-actuated. On a more positive note, I have taken the past few months to gain discipline around a lot of things I was previously lacking discipline in. Getting to bed early, eating right, exercising more, donating to charity. This discipline has brought me happiness. I hope to find more areas where discipline is currently lacking and change those.
I would like to be more brave. Say no Say Yes Try new things Eat less sugar
Advice from an old Star Trek Voyager - Tuvac to Nelix - it's illogical to worry about what might happen -, best advice. Improve me? At this point in my life, I'm as good as I'm ever gonna get, and it's pretty damn good!
I would like to get more organized in my home. This would make my life more orderly. And I spend more time at home in view of the pandemic.
Continue to be brave and do hard things. It will not kill me, even if it’s hard or uncomfortable. Push through and do the hard thing instead of wasting time in fear and dread.
I'd like to be more patient. I'd like to be more disciplined about meditating and exercising. One piece of advice that I love is to "make it automatic" - that is, designate times when I will exercise and meditate and then just do them then, don't let it be optional.
I need to follow my habit goals and expectations as best as I can, even when I can't do 100% of them. Not everything is going to get done every single day, and that's ok. That's not a reason to give up on everything all together; that just leads you to a worse place in terms of mental health. I think the best advice that can help me is, "Some is better than none," which is a reminder to not sabotage all efforts if something doesn't go according to plan. It's a little mantra I can use when I don't feel like doing something all together; I can still do a little bit to take care of myself.
My goal is to be fully and openly myself, letting go of limiting stories I've told myself for too long. I expect that to be longer than a 1 year project, but I would love to be at the point where vulnerability and being seen is something I do MORE often than hiding and prioritizing emotional safety over realness.
I would like to return to a more consistent appreciation for beauty and the spirit of everything around me. I would like to strive for greater equanimity and calm, as well as the ability to act in the face of political and planetary collapse.
Continue improving my listening, observing and self-love. Also no judgement to myself and others. More focused on skills: music - singing, guitar - writing my own songs.
Look for opportunities to make a difference in the world.
Did it - I now also teach at HackerU. Soap is for now just a hobby. I'm really pleased with where everything is at. Advice received in the last year? I can't really think of anything specific, but I have improved how I work with large online groups :)
Honestly, today is really tough and I have no idea. I try to think of quotations from RBG (may her memory be both a blessing and a revolution) and how to lead, but I mostly just want to try to survive this with some hope intact.
In no particular order: do more sports, pay more attention to my style, be more tolerant towards others, become a better artist.
I had a long answer here. Somehow I erased it. Already improvement: I don’t feel the need to recapture every word. Listen. Listen. Study those who are good listeners. Ask questions. Wait patiently. Maybe answers will come. In the meanwhile, listen. I want to be comfortable in silences. My dear friend once told me, “You don’t need to say every thought that runs through your head.” Yes!! Remember that day at the Oirase River, by BBC a quiet place where there was a man with an easel painting. That day made such a difference to me. As beautiful, more so, as any other of my life. Talk of peace like a river in my soul! My favorite psalm, #131, speaks to me: “Surely I have controlled and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother” — like that is my soul. I want that psalm read at my memorial, and I want it to be true. I can begin this next year. Listen. Listen. In addition, I now know why 131:3 is important. “O Israel, trust in the Lord from this time forth and forever.” That is a world for the church, and I think it is for my local church. We need, more than ever, to trust in the Lord. My favorite verse in Proverbs (3:25) says, “Do not be afraid of sudden fear.” That is a powerful word, I believe for my local church. And the entire church. Wait in peace. Live deep into silence instead of feeling the need to fill it.
This. is actually becoming ludicrous. Most of us are hoping to be alive this year and next. And for as long as possible in reasonable health. I do not have a crystal ball.
I would like to lose weight and continue to "Mari Kondo" my life...I am slowly decluttering my home and my mind. My plan this year is to declutter my basement, my financial life, and my social/friend life. As my grandmother would say "It's time to clean house"!
I’d like to be doing work I’m passionate about. I’d like to get back into exercise, probably karate. I’d like to be more connected to my religion and spirituality. I’d like to be a good parent to two kids and maintain my good relationship with my spouse. I’d like to make more local friends. Guidance right now is The Fool—new journeys ahead.
The lightness of my post last year makes me . . . sad, at the naivete. Not that it isn't important to find joy in the smallest things--that might be the MOST important thing going forward. But . . . at this point, with all that happened in the last year, it seems like my goal needs to be loftier, more reverent. My therapist brings a lot of good perspective into my life. She has seen me through the toughest time of my life and knows me well, inspires me to be my best self. I am tempted to talk about emotional independence . . . but I guess what I really need is hope. I feel despair setting in, in the face of the white supremacy taking root (or sprouting from old roots) in this country, the hate, the dictatorship. I will hope for hope.
To continue learning to find wholeness within myself and love ME fully. That will then trickle down to my family/friends/anyone I come in contact with! *Hal Elrod, The Miracle Morning... #1) You are just as worthy, deserving, and capable of creating and sustaining extraordinary health, wealth, happiness, love, and success in your life, as any other person on earth. It is absolutely crucial—not only for the quality of your life, but for the impact you make on your family, friends, clients, co-workers, children, community, and anyone whose life you touch—that you start living in alignment with that truth. #2) In order for you to stop settling for less than you deserve—in any area of your life—and to create the levels of personal, professional, and financial success you desire, you must first dedicate time each day to becoming the person you need to be, one who is qualified and capable of consistently attracting, creating, and sustaining the levels of success you want.
I'd like to cut down on the sugar and processed foods that I eat. I'd like to trust in God more and to stand up for what's right courageously.
I just did the virtual Tashlich and threw away thinking that I am not good enough for anyone. I need to believe in myself WAY more. My friend told me "treat yourself like you treat a good friend."
I wish I'd gotten some counsel that could guide me. I don't expect I'll be spending much time or effort trying to improve myself in the coming year. My mother has been hospitalized twice in the last month to get blood transfusions for anemia, so I suspect I'll be spending quality time this year trying to take care of her and hoping she makes it through the year.
Advice that I'm learning to let guide me: Where is G-d in this conversation? Have I asked the Universe for help? Or am I just plowing forward, doing everything "my way"?
I would like to take better care of myself - emotionally and physically. I no longer want to spend time on things that do not serve me, and I want to treat my body better with regular exercise and good fuel. I want to let myself feel my emotions, maybe see a therapist, and work through my negative feelings to emerge into a better, more whole person.
I'd like to lose weight as my biggest self improvement. But I think the best piece of advice doesn't apply to that, it applies to mental health - 'Thoughts are just thoughts, they don't have to mean anything.'
I hope that I can continue to keep a more open schedule in the coming year. I feel calmer when I have some space to putter, to think, to write, to be spontaneous. My good friend, J, often reminds me that acceptance is the path to contentment. I want to accept myself (celebrate my strengths and suspend judgement about my foibles), my husband, kids, and friends as they are.
Everyone is fighting a hard battle. Be kind! You have no idea what someone is going through!
I’d love to have a better paying job and be in a loving, full and godly relationship. Restore my old relationships that have cracked under the pressure, and be in tip top health. The only advice and counsel I seek is God’s Word and his people. I use my God given faculties of discernment and experience to sift out anything else.
Don't let the opportunity pass in which you can say a kind word — especially to family and friends. Sometimes I think what I'd like to say yet I don't. I don't praise or encourage often enough. It takes so little to lift someone up. I remember walking into Target a few months back. I saw a woman was sitting outside on a bench, wearing her mask. Her shoes were so cute. I also had on my mask, which nearly covered my face. As I passed, I told her I loved her shoes, they were just darling. I hoped my smile could be seen in my eyes above the mask. She seemed pleased and uplifted by my compliment. I'd like to think that by spreading a little kindness — something I need to do more — the recipient might do the same and so on and so on. Anne Frank said: How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. I'd like to try to be that person who is quick to do something small, which in turn might have a positive ripple.
I would like to heal the parts of my trauma. To look at them through the eyes of loving myself and not wanting love. I want to feel ok being my full authentic self of intense emotions and an openness.. acceptance of my trauma self Piece of advice: I deserve to be a priority
I am going to do the job I love. It is related with design, creativity, mindfulness and helping children. The best advice I received currently is be brave- with my dreams, with money, with who I am. I deserve to have better life and be able to help other people.
Advice: acknowledge when you are afraid, then listen to your instinct/inner voice and find the courage to do what you really need to do. Remember: you cannot know, control, the outcome. Remember: when outcomes were so much more than you imagined, and those outcomes only came about because you allowed yourself the space, the time, the trust, the faith. This is your life. Be it. Not an idea, not someone else's idea. Then share yourself and all of this with others.
I'm taking voice lessons on Zoom, & hope my singing improves to where I could sing a solo when public gatherings are allowed again.
As always no advice from anyone, only what I can piece together for myself looking backwards. This year the idea is to write up as many of the missing scientific UX definitions as papers and to start a doctoral paper.
I used to really carry around this piece of advice from a friend of mine, that you don't fell a tree in the winter, meaning you don't make decisions when things are bad. I think the piece of advice that stuck with me this year is about acceptance and letting things go - I never realised how much of a problem this was for me, so to hear that said and really start to believe it was freeing in so many ways. Take what is given.
I want to do more of what I want to do. I didn't receive any advice last year but I recall something I saw on a board in the station: You should not have to rip yourself to pieces to keep others whole.
