What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year?
Fear of losing my independence. I don't have the first clue how to let it go or overcome it. I will learn.
To have my actions dictated by my insecurities. I'm planning to pour it all out onto a book so it doesn't stay in my mind.
I fear how my life may change for the worse if I have a child but that once I've done it, it doesn't matter, I won't be able to change it. It's the one thing I can't reverse out of once it's done. I can never know for sure. How do you choose something when you are not sure? What if I'm wrong? My life is so rich now and I am happy. Do I risk disrupting that?
I am afraid of people who love or respect me finding out the truth about me. What a faker I am. Or that may already know. It limits me every day. Without those people truly knowing me, I can't fully be myself. There is always a wall that I see (and probably they do too) between me and others. Finding my passion or doing things to better myself in long term ways are very hard. I want to strip myself bare to everyone but right now I’m too scared. Even if I had to build myself up from nothing, it would be better than this.
I’ve been afraid of saying what I really think in case people judge me negatively for it. But I’m realizing that if a person rejects you for being yourself, it just means they aren’t meant to be one of your people. It’s an encouragement to keep being authentic and trust that your tribe is out there.
I have had a fear of speaking the truth due to the venom it might (and frequently did) incur. I want to practice speaking more boldly when it's important. Standing for what I believe it and making that clear -- with compassion, but firmly. I also fear that I will never return—physically — to where I was before my leg injury. It scares me but mostly really saddens me. I don’t know quite how to deal with it, both emotionally and as far as continuing to enjoy life, and have a life that is as active as I’d like. Walking was always my favorite form of transportation but I don’t think I will ever again be able to do as much as I used to. I don’t want to feel sorry for myself and yet — at this point after 3 years of do much work and treatment, I don’t truly believe it will ever fully heal. It really hurts. I think I’ll need to try to come to terms with this in the coming year.
FOMO might be a strong word, but I'm afraid that I will not have fully enjoyed and taken full advantage of my time as a graduate student. Twenty-one months goes by fast, and I would hate to see it pass with any regrets. I will therefore create a bucket list to direct my anxious energy and learn to cope that sometimes, high hopes and good intentions are enough. You won't remember grades, but warm memories linger.
I fear running out of time. Sometimes I get so fixated on how to use my time to the fullest, or figuring out order of importance/ priorities that I get paralyzed and end up doing nothing. I'm going to continue to work on my time management skills in therapy and hopefully through gaining more structure and meaning in my work (and life) I'll be able to find a way to make time mine.
My biggest fear that has held me back would he my fear of not being good enough for my goals/dreams. It has crippled me in everything from Ludosport to my relationship. I don't feel worthy enough. I plan on overcoming it by recognizing the loop when I enter it, and rewriting the story. As well, I plan on using my real life examples of accomplishments to remember what I have done and use them as a reminder of what I'm capable of. I will conquer my fear one day at a time.
The fear of not getting it all done and not getting it done right. If something seems overwhelming to tackle or think about, I will much of time strive to avoid tackling it or thinking about it. Or not go into work because I'm too stressed about something there. All of this behavior is dysfunctional and only makes the problem worse. In the next year I will strive to get things done well enough by focusing on what I can do NOW, at the moment.
I have a deep fear of doing something wrong, and that definitely hinders me from actually doing much of anything at all. It encompasses a fear of failure, a fear of offending or upsetting people, a fear of being bad at something, a fear of being ridiculed, or even just of being criticized. It means I stand in my own way of trying anything new or challenging because I am scared and anxious all of the time. It is incredibly limiting, and also frustrating. I am preventing myself from learning and growing as a person. I couch it in a sense of protecting myself, but in doing so, I prevent myself from evolving or discovering and pushing my own limits. I want to more fully embrace a beginner's mind and compassion and support for myself in being willing to try new things, and reframe "failure" as opportunities to learn and grow.
I fear what other people think (ie: getting on a bus, walking into a room of people I don't know). I get scared for some reason and I'm not even sure what I'm scared of. It limits me because I don't act like myself until I am fully comfortable with people. I wish I was myself no matter who I'm around instead of waiting for a comfort zone. I plan to allow myself to be me no matter where I am and to think less about what other people are thinking of me. I want to open up to people.
Medo de errar, de ficar com vergonha, de me sentir inferior... eu tenho o tempo todo. Só vai em frente.
The fear of success, because commingled with success is the possibility of failure. I am going to continue to trust myself and my guidance and know that whatever happens is ultimately for my benefit.
I fear appearing incompetent. I feared it this summer as an intern; I fear it this year, relentlessly, as the Teaching Assistant for a very tough class. I can only let go of this fear by leaning into the limits of my knowledge, publicly, by asking for help.
I have a fear of not being liked. I suppose it allows me to be more mindful of my relationships with others, but it might also cause me to be less assertive or take fewer risks when I feel I’m in shakier ground. I don’t know that’s necessarily a bad thing though.
I’m afraid I might be a broken, worthless person who is so caught up in the patterns and traumas of the past that she can’t become a person she is proud of. I’m going to work as hard as I can on self-reinvention this year by reflecting and reading and trying to be mindful. In every difficult moment, I want to remember to ask myself, “What kind of person would you most like to be in this moment?” I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I’m sure I will make more, but I’m going to keep trying.
I am afraid of diabetes and breast cancer. I need to take back control of my health in order to prevent the terrible diseases which are my heritage.
FEAR OF EXERCISE CLASSES. I'm joining a new gym in October. No one will know me. No one will care about my blonde, invisible eyebrows and eyelashes. No one will care if my gym clothes aren't Lululemon or whatever. I KNOW ALL OF SEVEN PEOPLE WHO LIVE HERE AND TWO OF THOSE LIVE WITH ME. I can do this!
How about a fear that I believe I have overcome THIS year that HAS been limiting me? Hmmmm? I am losing my hair. Not Alopecia that gets labeled and you get to go completely bald and people are sorry for you and you look sexy anyway. No, just the old lady, thinning hair don't you look pathetic kind. I've always had thin fine hair and now that I'm about to turn 60 its pretty obvious. Well, three months ago I met a gal who is only two months older than I, who is a bold type and she cut her hair really short and said she wasn't going to mess around and be shy about it so cut it all off. I love her attitude and decided that was the way to go. Now I did have to ponder for two months, as is my wont, but I did it, and I love it. My daughter said its great - I'm "owning it" she said! I love it. What better way to be that to 'own' who you are.
I have a feeling that my fears have been increasing a lot lately. I just start to be afraid of the smallest things: to fail, that I don't know what will come, that everything won't be the way I want it to be. I want to stop that and learn to go to new things more fearlessly, with more self-confidence and simply more freely and without thinking so much about it. One of my big fears is for example not to get well, I will simply overcome it by getting well and let my medications work! I strongly believe in it!
I fear I have is that I'll never really find that "thing" that I'm looking for. I'd like to make that more accessible to myself, bring it out of "fantastical" reality and more into practical next steps.
Fear of money. Or, more accurately, fear of managing finances. I have a scarcity mindset, which makes me nervous even thinking about money matters. Also, fear of putting something out into the world and getting a huge "meh" in response. Not even fear of failure; more like fear of indifference. No clue how I will overcome them. We shall see in a year whether I was able to.
Although I like being with people, I'm shy which has curtailed my social interactions. I'm not sure how to attack this
I'm afraid I'm never going to learn how to be productive and get things done. I think I tell myself a story that I'm not a focused person, not an organized person, and so maybe that's why I fail to achieve these goals that are ostensibly important to me. It seems like it's just the everlasting battle I have, whether at home or at work. I keep thinking I can plan it away, or read books or blog posts and somehow change my habits, and that hasn't worked. Reaching out for help to new people, ones who seem to have their shit together, is something I want to keep doing this year. My friends are nice but I don't think they're the right ones to help me with this.
I am afraid of heights. This fear has kept me from taking part in some adventure & exploration activities. I plan to go up in the observation tower on the cruise ship next June.
A fear that I have is that I might not enjoy success as much as I think I will. It's limiting me because it slows me down from making some of the decisions which could bring success closer to me. I had a very narrow and limited view of success which I was completely comfortable with and which seemed perfect, and now the vision of success even brighter and bigger than what I dreamed can sometimes seem... stifling. I intend to work through this by simply being successful long enough to understand that it is indeed tons of fun. I simply will not let anything stop me from taking the actions which I should obviously be taking. I no longer care about who I am or how I've found happiness in the past; it doesn't matter, and I'm sure it's all going to be great.
I have a fear of embarassing myself. It has led me to not try new things. I can work on not ruminating on situations where I have made mistakes and only remember things as much as I can learn from them.
I definitely have a fear of big impact projects, because my results are being watched. I have to learn to live with being uncomfortable and just doing it, because I know my work is good.
Failure. Pure and simple. Letting people down does scare me. Stupid. I think the only way to combat it is to change my mindset about what it means to fail. All the self help books in the world will agree that failure is necessary to learn and improve one's self. But failure is not empowering in the moment so its very difficult to think like that. Yet it is so ridiculous....my fear of failure has meant I've not done so many things I would have loved to do or try. From physical activities like sports to gardening (yes, really), work (of course work!)... All these things I've prevented MYSELF from doing or just giving a go, because I didn't want to look stupid, or like a loser and didn't want to let anyone else down. All the fun and possible success I've refused myself. It makes me feel so sad. Who am I really living for???? I think it's true that we are all heroes in our own story. The only thing certain in life is our mortality... Yet we keep on keeping on. I am my own hero. So perhaps overcoming the fear of failure and falling down lies in actually embracing my demise now, so that I can let go of any future 'what ifs'. Maybe if I work on accepting death at the age of 43 I can give a bit more to life? I don't know, sounds a little airy fairy perhaps. But I certainly need to change somehow. I've also always wanted to write and of course I've never been brave enough to admit that to anyone. But lately I've understood that I can write...I don't have to do anything else, just write. If it's shit, it's shit. So be it. But just like my degree it can remain something I did just for me. But at least I would have fulfilled an ambition to write a book, poem, essay... Whatever! Yeah, maybe that's how I overcome....stop doing anything for someone else's approval. Easier said than done.
I'm still pretty afraid of losing Jason. Or violence and death happening to me or other people I love. I suppose it makes sense to let it go, but at the same time it feels kind of logical to be afraid about these things in light of how the last could of years have gone. A fear I would like to overcome is that I'm going to lose my job, which would mean we lose our insurance, which would mean we'd lose our apartment and security and Jason would die...I tend to spiral out if I entertain these ideas. I would like to let it go. But I am not sure I'll ever really feel secure again.
fear of not doing my best, fear of being old and broke unless I find a way to make money. Fear that my best times are in the past, and that I can't let go of that idea, or rather, can't find something to replace what best times were. I plan on meditating more to find a way to let go and find a way to act towards something more productive. Create the conditions for a better life.
infertility and hoping our plan with very good doctors and science works its magic. I plan to stay calm and do what I can but know it's out of my hands.
I have held a fear of being wrong or being criticized for a long time. As I grow and become more comfortable with myself, I hope to reduce that fear and let it go. I think that fear has been more exaggerated this year because of my new role, but I want to continue to allow myself to just learn and try new things and be wrong about things sometimes and realize that's OK.
Fear of death. Still it's here. That I won't exist or experience, anything. It's still my number one fear, the thing that gets me most, but only when I'm alone, in semi-darkness, in silence. I shouldn't give in to this fear. Why should I spend such precious time in agony? I have to stand up against it, hold my head high, full of integrity.
I want to improve my self-confidence and not get too hard on myself, especially when things do go as well as I would have liked them to be.
I am fearful of what the next year will bring in terms of my dad's health. I know that he is close to the end of his life and I remember how difficult the last winter was for him with pneumonia. I plan on letting nothing go unsaid with my dad and preparing together with my family for what will happen both before, during and after the end of his life.
I came to realize I am terrified with "failure". I have become many times paralyzed upon this fear, not being able to do stuff I felt important/necessary. I am working on strengthening my self-confidence, and learning that failure is part of the process.
I think I've really I have a fear of success on some level-- why else am I not killing it? I don't know truly how to be successful. I have always kind of played it small, despite being confident, charging good rates, etc. I've never been super financially stable or anything of that sort. I usually write about money fear, but I think it's a level deeper. I want to overcome that-- it's understanding my relationship with success and allowing myself to be okay with it. To be okay with not really knowing what that feels like. And that it might not always work. And that in order to grow big I need to jump off some cliffs. And once again, live authentically. I think that's my key. Only doing things that are in alignment with who I am and how I like to operate-- that's how I will grow and be successful. And I don't only mean financially, I mean in terms of impact and beyond.
A fear I have is of looking foolish, and it has limited me by paralyzing me from making choices at times. In the short time that we've known each other, my girlfriend has helped me a lot with that, but just in general, I've seen the effects of a less fear-based life and want to continue in that direction.
I'm afraid of being alone. That no one will want anything to do with me and I'll spent my life isolated and rejected. I don't know how I'm planning to overcome it .
I am scared of my husband. Not just physically scared - although when he comes towards me threateningly it is always intimidating - but scared of what he will do. I am actually far less scared of him physically hitting me than the emotional turmoil that he introduces into my life. I am listening to books and trying to figure out how to overcome the issues in our relationship. Logically, I can say that if he doesn't change I will leave him. Realistically, I have said that many, many times before and I have not stuck to it. This coming year, I hope I have the inner strength to stick to my boundaries, and stop letting him intimidate me. I do not want to live in fear.
Fear of failure. It's stopped me from trying things - putting on workshops, trying a digital program. To get over it, I'm going to focus on the reasons why these things are important -they give me and my family freedom. That far outweighs the fear of doing them.
I fear being alone and not having people like me. This limits me because I censor my thoughts and actions based on what I think other people want when maybe what I do uncensored will be beyond what anyone thinks I am capable of. Trust your gut, Stephanie. Do what feels right, but also ask for much guidance from those wise people in your life.
Fear of fear. Fear of dying wtihout a will. Fear of dying without writing something meaningful to leave behind. Fear of not finding a sweet mate to give myself to.
Oh fear has limited me so much and I let it limit me only to find out I feared being limited and the whole thing has come true. I fear change, I feel failure and I lack risks because of it. Instead of putting myself out there I hide and I don't take credit, I don't do anything. I'm in counseling to help with anxiety. I hope that helps me figure out what to do. I hope it helps me fix all that's going on for me. It's so frustrating to not be able to do these things, to act fine only to realize that in not facing your fear you've ended up running straight into your fear.
I’m a little afraid for my son’s mental health. We are talking to him and he has a therapist but I’m still worried.
My biggest fear is to never have had a long term partner. It is hard always being single, the odd man out. The conundrum is my fear of letting myself be exposed to someone new. I would like to find someone who would like to share his world with me, and I with him. I have no idea how to deal with this.
Abandonment / rejection... ironic because that is exactly what has manifested. Experience it completely. Know it. Feel it. Untangle my fear of it. Move beyond it.
i have a fear of being left alone in the world - and that stemming from my own action or inactions. i need to make some real ongoing friendships and community
My poor commitment skills and my poor relationship choices - negating the things I know are likely to cause me pain or unease. I don't know how I'm going to "let it go" - I think being present and noticing it will be enough for this year. Best wishes to me - this is a hard one I've struggled with for a decades-long time.
My answer last year was: "I am really afraid of losing my sense of identity and purpose, because of this current morass I am in. Since I doubt that things will get any better where I am, I hope I can just get out and go elsewhere. Hopefully, anywhere else will be better than this hell I am currently in." I am still afraid that I am becoming someone I am not or at least someone I don't wish to become. Sadly, I'm starting to hate having chosen to be a teacher. This year, I am still in where I was last year, despite my attempts to get out. I am started to get used to my situation, but that doesn't mean I'm starting to like it. Not at all. In fact, I'm beginning to hate it even more. I am hoping that I will finally succeed in finding alternate employment that will better suit my gifts and passion.
Patterns of failure and disappointment have become clear in the recent past. By expecting life to follow the same path, I end up setting myself up for disappointment regardless of the failure. I want to break the negative feedback loops that I’ve created for myself over the past 29/30 years, so that I can embrace the unknown instead of fearing it based on unrelated experiences. I want to let go of these fears of the darkness in front of me and welcome change and believe in myself, knowing that I can handle anything.
Fear of retiring. Fear of beginning new projects. Fear about not having enough money. Fear of failure. (I guess I have more than one.) It's stopped me in my tracks. I am so certain that they are reasonable fears - that I believe I am self-perpetuating them. I don't know how I'll let them go/overcome them. Yet. But it's a good goal to have.
Self confidence in being being professionally and financially successful. Getting down on myself for laziness. I plan to let go of this by realizing my personal confidence translates to business success I am good at whatever I do and getting an MBA may help with this.
I think I just need to face myself. I recently restarted therapy, and I don't have any "big issues," but I have a lot to work on. Despite the fact that I made the conscious decision to go to therapy, I've been having trouble really expressing even to my therapist what I want to work on. I feel stuck in where I am, and as much as I want to figure out the rest of my life, I'm scared of the future, so I'm just floating in the current and somewhat pretending the future doesn't exist. Which is definitely challenging and frustrating. I want to move forward, but I'm scared to. I hope that over the next year, through pure will and some therapy, I can take the steps I need to make my future what I want it to be.
I have FOMO. Not saving enough, not investing better, not getting as much bang for my buck. Not traveling the world, not trying travel nursing, not having more followers on social media. I want to live six different lives and trying to greedily stuff them all into one isn't really an option. I want to learn to make bucket lists, enjoy the wishful thinking, then enjoy my current life no matter what condition it's in and be okay with not crossing everything off.
Of meeting new people. I have limited amount of friends and I would like to to expand that this year. I need to be more willing to interact with other people. I am introverted and would like to not change that characteristic just not have it be so limiting in my life.
Funny but as we work through Adam Hamilton's Afraid I'm feeling rather "fearless." Not sure how that could be possible.
In starting a new job, with new people, I certainly fear failure. I fear letting them down, or messing up the easy stuff, or looking like I'm punching above my weight. I think that fear can limit me by making me too careful; I'd rather be willing to take the risks in order to find shots at real, momentous success. Letting go of fear of failure is easier said than done, of course. But I plan on doing two things to take it on. First, I want to go a bit easier on myself. That means forgiving myself for mistakes, and loosening some of the pressure I have in my brain to always be doing the exact right thing. Second, I want to be more honest and genuine around my coworkers and others I encounter. I think that being genuine about what I can and can't do, what I'm uncomfortable with, and what I am yet to learn can only help. If they're the good people I think they are, they'll take that opportunity to help me succeed; at that point, it's on me to run with it. I want to feel ready to run with it so that I truly can.
I'm afraid of being un-successful, or really, of what people will think. I'm not sure if I'm afraid of what others will think, or of what I will think. Looking for a new job earlier this year really brought to the front, being afraid of "looking bad", but to who? and does it even matter? I'd like to learn to let go of this more, and focus on what really matters.
Disappointing others is my main fear I suppose. I will overcome this by learning that I can only control me - I cannot control, and am not responsible, for what others think. They do not know me in any way approaching how I know me.
My biggest fear is financial failure that lets my family down. For years, I have lived a conservative financial life that gave me some peace of mind. Our real estate transactions this year have increased our risk, but also increased our potential for gain. I need to trust more in the positives, and take more actions to ensure the outcomes I want most.
An underlying fear as I look at retiring next year will always be... Will I have enough to sustain my lifestyle in retirement. Though not a spendthrift and fairly conservative with our lifestyle I can only imagine that most (if not all) people feel hesitance before they retire. Everyone tells me I have a good handle on life after work so I feel good about that. Family, Friends, Community, Nation... YEAH BABY!
Oh damn! I'm a bundle of fears! Mostly, I'm afraid of failure and I'm afraid of rejection. Fearing to fail has led me to let so many opportunities slip past me, has landed me in a position where I hate my job, my marriage has ended, and I feel like I have very few options. Fear of rejection has led me to not seek out relationships where I can be honest and vulnerable. Has caused me to miss opportunities to see another person and to be seen. I've missed out on a lot of love, given and received because of fear. To let go... I'm going to continue to "feel the fear and do it anyway" I'm going to be afraid, and try and then fail or be rejected and I'm going to learn that failure and rejection aren't ever as bad as the fear of the failure or the rejection.
Honestly, I can't think of anything. Does that mean I'm not afraid of something? Eh, no. I'm sure I am. but I can't think of how it limits me. Sorry. Better luck with this question next year.
Deeply speaking, one fear I have about myself is that I'm not good enough, and that I can never live up to what people think of me. I try to be myself around friends, but the constant fear lives in the back of my mind that I will screw it up, and I will lose it all. Being vulnerable and acknowledging this is the first step to letting it go, and overcoming it with love for myself.
My fear has always been to not have the right life partner. I will objectively evaluate my romantic life this coming year and as it's an inately transitional period just by the nature of schooling, it will work itself out, and I will know whether I need to move on or if we will be a good lifetime match. If we're not, it will be fine. I have the rest of my life to find the right person to go along hand in hand with.
I'm afraid of being confrontational. I'm intimidated by Pamela. I guess the only way to overcome it is to start providing feedback.
The unknown. This year I jumped head first into a temporary job, went skydiving, and signed a lease for an apartment! I landed a full-time position from my temp job, survived jumping out of a plane, and will be moving on 11/24. God works way harder than Satan.
No real fears. I dread the day Mom passes because I don't really know how involved I'll be with family. I fear not being pain-free and have that interfere with my life and what I want to do.
I have fears that limit. I am unsure- still hidden. Pride/shame likely kingpins
That I am becoming more and more dissatisfied with my looks and I will end up allowing that to take over and either start doing things that are not myself (surgery/fake hair/fake nails/more makeup) or develop another ED. To tackle it from inside out. MH comes first. Drink less, remove toxic people from my life, spend more time around positive people, seek out things I enjoy, be kind to people. Exercise and eat well - actually cook and fall in love with again. Make time for my friends, make time for my family, make time for myself.
Saying no, setting limits. I plan to get better at it in my work life by gathering data and taking time to review it, and thinking about the life I want.
For ages it’s been the plague of not being enough. Thankfully after traversing a hellish path I am over that. Perhaps now I fear my circumstances and stresses not changing. I don’t want to be under so many crushing challenges. It’s hard to know how to overcome that. Seems out of my hands. I suppose I will focus on things I CAN impact and try to let the other things take a back seat. Lots of breathing.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
I continue to fear that I have not and am not saving enough money for retirement, but on the flip side, I fear that I am spending so much energy worrying about retirement that I am not enjoying the "now." In the next year, I will spend more time trying to really map out a financial future, and if the resources look sufficient, to enjoy spending a little more money now
Being left for someone else. Rejected for being myself; for not being good enough, sexy enough, funny enough, pretty enough even on the inside where it really matters. Just afraid of being alone, and feeling like it was my fault. I need to trust that to God, I am enough. I need to understand how much He loves me, I think that's the key. So I guess I'll pray and ask Him to show me.
Adoption - One of my recurring fears is that I won't be able to parent an adopted child well. That they will hate me for adopting them or that I won't provide them the support they need or that they have an unknown disability that I won't be able to adequately deal with. To overcome this fear I talk constantly with my husband. I need to find a therapist who I can talk to and work through these complicated issues with. Success - Fear that I will continue not putting in the work to create a successful business. The story I tell myself is that I am lazy. Not smart or motivated enough to achieve my goals.
I was thinking I don't let fear guide me, but wow that's bullshit. I fear getting strapped financially; I fear not having enough for retirement; I fear Alex not finding lasting enjoyable work; I fear Alex and I not staying together, or not being in a relationship where we should be staying together. How do I let go or overcome. Action - getting a HELOC that keeps on being almost done but one more thing. Patience - Alex and I are pretty good right now, and he particularly has enough going on that he wouldn't do well with focused effort on our relationship (and really, it's good, and could be better). And loving kindness - compassion - towards myself, Alex, and others.
I have a fear of failure, of not being perfect. It's pretty crippling, and I'm constantly analyzing myself. Despite the amount of brainspace it takes up, I'm able to function remarkably well, even if I don't feel like I am. I am working on being kinder to myself, to cutting myself a break, to letting myself not be the best when I first start out.
Fear of not feeling proud of what I've done in the event I die a sudden, unexpected death. I've been fueling my anxiety, soul- and job-searching with the notion that I may very well get hit by a car while biking to or from work and die. I almost got hit yesterday and it was totally my fault. I was trying to get home in time to jump on a call after picking up my lunch and weaved through cars waiting for the traffic light to change, but didn't realize it was a two-way street; I got through two rows of stopped vehicles at maybe 5 mph and WHOOSH a car cut across from my right to my left, inches away. What a stupid way it would have been to die. In those final moments, would I have thought of how I've spent the past three months agonizing over what to do with my life, wondering how I can set myself up to live to my full potential while simultaneously trying to have meaningful interactions with humans I encounter each day? Ridiculous! I need to ease up and re-calibrate my perspective but I don't know how. I talk to people. I go on trips. I exercise and eat good food. I've spent time with my older sister and youngest brother. The paychecks keep coming and the stock remains high. I...haven't been writing. I haven't been drawing as much as I like. I don't know whether to continue in my role at my job and try to make it better, switch roles on my team, switch to another team, switch companies, enter a whole new job family, take time off, go back to school, move somewhere else, or what. Every option is available to me and nothing is screaming "DO THIS!" I'm afraid of complacency. I'm afraid of defaulting to what's easy. I'm afraid of making a decision that seems arbitrary for the sake of doing something that's not what I'm doing, but it's not something I'm necessarily excited about. I know I'm 28 and this is what privileged, late twenties people do, but I don't know how to get out of it. I feel the pressure of a life flitting by and want to feel like I'm going somewhere, with some sense of purpose, and not just in meaningless, unfulfilling circles. I think I need to do more research and writing. I fee like I need to devote mental, emotional, and perhaps physical time and space to soul searching. I am stupidly jealous of incarcerated people who are producing art, because their options are limited. Perhaps I am incarcerating myself in a way.
There's a lot of fear, tension, and wariness surrounding my relationships with my family, especially my mother. Especially right now as I'm working with and for my mother, our communication is so inhibited and weighed down. I plan to use the experience to practice ways of overcoming resistance as a consultant.
As an adult, I've always had an unreasonable, very deep-seated fear of money. I'm afraid I won't have enough. It has more power than I do. I'm petrified and victimized by it. Time for that to stop. When I went to Temple for YK, there was a passage, I shall have to look it up again, but the idea was, I will not prostrate myself to (something). For me, I will not prostrate myself to money in any form; fear of it, fear of not having enough of it, feeling like others who have more are more worthy, thinking that I cannot control it and don't have the ability or desire to do so. This is probably my biggest project for the year. I've had enough, and now it's time for me to manage it, instead of it, and my fear of it, managing me. I shall work with the book Emotional Currency. I shall do the work. I shall change the pattern. By next year, I hope my wisdom and daily life are free of the shackle of my fears around money.
I keep getting panic attacks about situations I can't control, especially with regard to travel. I've been meaning to seek professional help for it but haven't had a chance to even think about it so far. Need to do that.
I've been afraid of other peoples' judgments of my actions. I easily forget that they lack context. I also easily forget that only one opinion matters at the end of the day...my own.
I sometimes fear that I am not spending enough quality time with my baby. I will try to focus more on our family next year and on doing fun activities with Jon whenever I have the chance
I have so much fear. Fear of failing. Fear of being great. I don’t know how to get over it or let it go other than to just do it.
Heights have gotten significantly worse. At this point I'm just trying to push through. I am a bit worried that more fears in general will become a problem as I get older, but I will try to take each event as it comes.
Fear of failure, fear of losing control-particularly when it feels like safety is compromised (think GOP, Trump, antisemitism, homophobia)
That I may not be able to take care of myself financially and physically......................
My fear is that I'm not good enough. I really want to be happy. Not sure I have the strength to make the changes necessary to achieve this.
I have a fear of being in the public eye. I want to start a self-help live stream and my reticence to step into the limelight is limiting me. Other than finding a streaming buddy I'm not sure how I can fight this instinct.
I fear not working, not building, not growing.
I'm afraid of becoming complacent, boring, compromising. Especially when it comes to a romantic partner. I'm afriad I won't find the right person or that my family won't like them. I'm afraid I will ruin it with something i do or say. I'm afraid I'm not attractive enough - something I haven't been anxious about in a long time. Being single is really stressful.
Coming out as bi, it's never felt pressing (part of the problem) but at the same time it is true. I know I can do it but cannot find 'the right time', the drive to do it. I'm getting older and not going to be this beautiful forever. This would be the perfect time to explore this side of my nature and become more honest to myself. Spending more time with gay men/women would help me verbalize it and spur me on. Coming out to Lizzie first will be easier, Natalia will be more challenging. I would love it if they directly asked but it's unlikely to happen. Family/Andy and Dave would be harder still but baby steps. Coming out would mean I could sleep with guys without the guilt.
Right now I'm not scared of a lot. That's pretty great. I have a little being single, and not working my sexuality out enough to get a long-time partner. I don't need to let it go, but I'll overcome it by carrying on dating. The other fear is the world falling apart. I'm a bit concerned that, when I read this in a year's time, it won't have been better. I'll overcome that by continuing to try and improve the world through my own actions, and thinking about how to get more people to do the same.
I fear losing my job and having nothing. I fear my son growing up with nothing because I was careless or irresponsible.
Fear of insanity. It has limited me in the sense that I don't trust myself and my intelligence and my abilities. I always fear I'm not sane enough, good enough person, deserving. I'm working on it in therapy and it is getting better.
I fear the difficulty I have in getting to know people and how it impacts my ability to connect and grow my social circle, including but not limited to romantically. I am trying to get out more and I need to try to make efforts to reach out and see what happens and not be afraid of rejections.
I'm afraid of not doing enough. I have immense privilege in this world, and I feel a responsibility to pay that forward. But I'm not really sure what that means yet, so I end up wallowing in opportunity paralysis. I think I'm also afraid of not being good enough at things. I have super high expectations for myself, and I like to achieve and excel. I'm not so great at being kind to myself all the time. In general, the theme of "letting go" has made itself very clear to me lately (ending my relationship, canceling last minute on the big 100M race I had as my goal to complete this year). I would like to work on embracing that feeling, as it implies trusting in the present and where I am now. That's all that's guaranteed.
I think I'm always scared of being mediocre. I bet if I looked back in my vault right now, I'd find two years of me saying this. I'm terrified of being average or boring. I think this year, this will be a challenge because I'm in a challenging academic environment where I'll be graded on a curve, so I'll know if I'm average. That terrifies me.
I’m scared of making the wrong decisions and looking back and wishing I’d made different choices. I’m scared of putting my ideas into reality and then finding out they’re not as good as I thought they’d be.
Occasionally I have fears that nothing will change, but I mostly realize that those are false fears and that all will be well in my life.
I'm no longer afraid of being alone but I'm afraid of letting depression run the rest of my life. My plan is to sit down and make a plan to overcome it in the coming year.
Dates. I think I generally avoid them, although I do like having a significant other. I think it's a combination of being afraid to hurt someone else's feelings and also just the whole awkwardness. I think I just have to force myself to go on dates. The best thing that can happen far outweighs the worst... I think.
Fear : body issues involved with motherhood for the first time, becoming uninterested in my work, not having the self discipline to keep up with work, or the inverse--not devoting adequate time or attention to my child because of my own needs for simulation. Fear of how my existing relationships, especially with friends, may change, and how my partners will help with and rise up to support the needs the baby and I have.
I have a fear of failure. I seem to have black-and-white thinking that a failure is indicative of my character, how others will view me, my worth. I'm working on changing my self-narrative, my motto. I am trying to return back to a time in which I saw failure as an opportunity for growth rather than as a stopping point. I am working on choosing to not act based on fear. I am trying not to be complacent in comfort. I want to take risks, try new things. I almost want to fail so I can/am forced to work through it in an active role.
Fear of not coming across as successful / intelligent / insightful. I rely on work for that validation... and as a result have a mental model of a full-time sell-regarded high growth position. I wonder, could I be comfortable with a part-time or less ambitious role? Maybe after the childcare expenses have lessened?
I am too tired, too weary from all the turmoil here and around our little planet to be afraid and Yuval Harari’s “Sapiens: A Short History of Humankind” has opened to me the longer view of things. For all our advances, we humans are fundamentally the same throughout history, still too subject to our repetilian brains. On the whole the arc of justice ekes in the right direction, but we are a stubborn lot, resisting, retreating, digging in our heels against or attacking what we perceive as threatening...fight or flight. I do take some comfort in the trend of the arc, but am impatient with the pace. I can do my small part to help weight it in the right direction.
I fear my own anger. It prevents me from engaging gently and effectively with people whose views or behavior disturb me. The result is acrimony - or escalation. I need to use meditation, along with awareness and compassion, to engage with respect and care.
I fear for the future of our democracy. I am lucky that I have no grandchildren and my children dont plan on any. Otherwise I would be so much more worried, but the ones I love should be okay for a bit.
I’m still afraid of failure, but I think I have better help now. I have a bit more of a professional network to help. I’m afraid of getting laughed out of the hospital leadership for proposing they pay for part time sustainability leadership. But I have supporters and my backup plan is to keep doing what I’m doing. I’m afraid of continuing to let my family down.
I am so proud to say that after 35 years of struggling with a phobia, I finally took the steps to overcome it. I’ve been in phobia therapy since early June, and I have made great strides. I don’t know how many more sessions I will need until I can confidently claim that my fear no longer paralyzes me, but I do believe if the LORD wills, I’ll complete my treatment plan by NYE 2018. Hallelujah!
I am worried that I am not good enough to get a job elsewhere and that I will never progress career wise, health wise, or relationship wise. I plan to work on this by taking the steps needed to improve my career: publishing, working more closely with my mentors, doing a great job with my job and committee work, and directed professional development. For health, I plan on adding exercise and working on sleep while continuing to work on weight loss. I am going to add a fitbit and meditation of some sort. For the relationship, I plan on working on increasing communication and helping my boyfriend learn to ask for what he wants.
I fear that I'm not good enough, or of being an anchor on those I love, or just being a failure in general. I want to trust more in God and really give of myself.
I'm afraid of my kids really not liking me, growing up with resentment or becoming unkind people. I'm afraid of what others will think of me - of being seen as too anything. In the coming year, for the kids, I hope to just remedy it, and know and trust that my relationship with them now affects how they see me in the future. As for others, they are not my business - I must stick to my values, and if I can do that, then it doesn't matter what others think.
Failure Being alone Go for it, sometimes mistakes are the best thing to happen or leads you to the right path Being more open and spending time with others that reflects my values will combat the loneliness
Fear of having the lawsuit. go to trial and losing- or of a settlement. Fear of my lawsuit being known about more broadly. Fear of another one. Doesn’t hold me back a lot, but it limits me from feeling that work is totally safe. Definitely limits me from loving my work more fully.
In the same way that I apparently have little compassion for people far away from me, I also have very little fear. Perhaps it is because I was born with a great deal of privilege, and everything in my life has been relatively easy, but I always expect that everything will eventually work out. Of course I worry about the possibility I could lose Kate or Noah or Sydney by some horrible mishap or some deadly disease, but even while I have those worries I understand there is only a very small chance any of those things could happen. I do fear my own death, and as I get older I am noticing the deaths of so many around me in ways I did not do before. But ultimately, death will come, and there is nothing that can be done to change that. So when I do find myself perseverating on my demise, I try to not get too worked up, since nothing can be done anyway.
I plan to respect it, listen to what it has to teach me, and see where that leads.
Fear of financial instability. I must learn to believe in the power of the universe to provide enough as it always has.
I have a fear of driving that means I have to rely on others and public transport to get around. I don't plan on letting go.
I have a fear of not being liked. It has limited me because sometimes I have been afraid to come on too harsh even when I know something is unsafe or dumb. I plan on trying to care less about this in the short term, understanding that it will most likely always be a part of my personality.
Commitment? My current relationship has not progressed lately, as I want to take it slow, but maybe because I already know it might not be a good fit? I already feel stretched for time with work and wanting to spend more time with the kids. I am not ready to cut into time with the kids (or workouts) or in a position to cut into time at work. I plan to give it more time.
I'm afraid I made a mistake changing districts, and that my job will be even more challenging this year in a way that might break me. I'm afraid that, by losing my accrued sick leave, taking leave when I have a child next year will be difficult and I won't be able to take as much time with my baby as I'd like to. I guess I will just keep on being the best teacher I can be in the extremely challenging conditions i find myself, bond with my students, form relationships as best I can and leverage those relationships into learning. For the second part, I really don't know. It keeps me up at night.
I am terrified that I will not be able to trust good people moving forward because of what he did. I really believed in him. Am I naive? Maybe the best kinds of people do horrible things. Society is terrible and I'm scared of how it's shaped how people think of sex and sexuality. I'm afraid of how it will affect my future relationships, trust in men, and confidence with sex. I still have hope that I will find a good hearted person who believes what I do and has the strength to stick to those values. I hope I don't close off again. I just have to keep believing the best in people.
I have an overwhelming fear of driving. Or rather of dying while driving. It has limited me from fully learning to drive. It is a burden on Lee who has to do all the driving. And in my current job I do need to be able to drive to Lewiston or to Augusta occasionally though I do live in walking distance of our Portland office. I don't know how to let go of this fear because I do believe that fear of dying while driving is a justified fear. I do need to more fully learn to drive regardless though because it is not fair to Lee. I plan to drive half of the time with Lee as much as possible this year and sit with the fear.
I fear failure... that I'm not going to be a good dad or husband (and lose my family in the process), that I'm not going to be a good son and be able to take care of my mom... and that my career will be a failure. I think I have to stop avoiding things and start making sacrifices to focus on the important things.
I fear losing my inner self, my way of being because of others opinions. I think I am very protective of my way of being and I tend to keep it as it is. I think I have to be flexible with others until the limit of what who I think I am.
Fear of flying, it's something that I hate doing. Not sure I'm going to do anything about it.
The fear of appearing as though I don't value my job for not being at my desk a particular amount of time. I have been scared of leaving work for therapy, and for working out. Now I'm not only in one on one therapy, but also weekly group therapy, and working out daily. I hope I can keep conveying my competence with a nontraditional schedule, and continue putting self care first.
I have the same fear or concern that I will leave my family with a disorganized mess after I die. Like last year, I want to update my will so that my family will inherit an organized estate when the time comes. I have continued to postpone this like last year but at least we have an appointment in January with an attorney. It's a step in the right direction.
Being alone. Being more social and engaging more socially with people.
That I will never find love. I don't know how the fear has held me back, but not having someone in my life definitely is limiting. I'd like to focus on making connections with people, solidify friendships. Meet real people and get closer to them. Even if this doesn't lead to meeting my person, maybe I can create a new family around me and not feel so lonely.
My fear is of stopping work. I need to seriously look at how hard I am driving myself to succeed at Aspire as a financial planner. I will offer it to the Universe and my HP to manage.
My marriage is still a mess. I do not plan on letting it go. I will keep trying and working on it.
I have a fear of not being good enough or smart enough to finish my thesis and to find a job after. It has been very debilitating and made me freeze up, stress out, postpone it for as long as I could. I plan on letting it go by reminding myself that this fear is irrational I am enough, I am good enough and smart enough and I have the world a lot to offer. Making small steps every day will help enforce this notion. And I have been pushing this fear down, meaning that it could gather strength in the background while I was trying not to deal with it and grow. I don't want to do that anymore, I am going to acknowledge this fear and work with it in a healthy way so I can tackle it a little bit at a time. Fear is not the enemy, but it is important how you react to it.
I suppose I always have a fear that I’m not living my best life. Would I be happier in LA? NYC? Single? Cheating? With another partner? Traveling more? Different friends?
I fear that my marital relationship is crumbling and I have some responsibility to improve MY behaviors in a daily basis, I think we should look into some kind of couples exploaration to better understand our issues. Alternatively, I fear taking risks. I think I should set some risky goals and a process to to fulfill them .
I fear being left out. I don't chase company or inclusion much, and I fear that I'll be left out, alone and forgotten. I plan to socialize more and put the onus for socializing on my own shoulders.
I fear being alone or left behind. I think this is why I serially date-- hopping constantly (even if unintentional) from one long relationship to the next. I hope that my increased honesty with myself about whether or not a relationship is working will help free me from staying in a relationship just to be in one.
A fear that I have is not succeeding in school, even if I try my hardest. I plan on just focusing on doing my best, because school comes naturally to me and I should be taking advantage of that gift. Additionally, I have a fear of not having friends, or people not liking me for me. It’s kept me from reaching out, and leaving my bubble. I hope to step out of my comfort zone, and just let life take me wherever and make an effort to reach out to new people.
A fear that I have currently is that I'm somehow "doing something wrong" because I spend a lot of time alone, I don't have a strong friend or social group, I don't have a partner, and I don't have any dating prospects. I'm trying to make steps to change this, but I don't have practice in making connection nor a strong social system/network so I fear I'll miss out on connection and that it is too late for me to build this. I do not know how to let this go, except it is likely that acceptance and surrender must have something to do with it.
I'm scared of failure. Of not achieving perfection. It has limited me for years because I don't try things that I'm not perfect at. I want my children to see me fail at things and keep trying so that they don't have the same fears. I don't want to pass my anxiety on to them. I'm trying to push myself to do things that I'm not the best at to keep me growing.
The fear of making mistakes, and of others disapproval. This is most prevalent right now in my new role as "mother". I need to find a way to feel more confident in myself, my judgement, and my abilities. As a new mom, I am bombarded by advice from others and I need to find a way to stop being afraid of being judged, and just go with my gut, try things out, be okay with things failing sometimes, and just be confident in my abilities and my decisions.
Im constantly afraid of my financial life imploding again and having everything be terrible in that way. Im terrified we don't have the money to keep our house and Im trying very hard to overcome this. I am going to try to settle in my home and treat it like it is going to be ours for a long time even if it isnt. This is so hard but Im hoping that forming attachments to this house will help with my feelings of security.
I am afraid of having a second kid, of that upending my marriage, my career and my sense of self completely. I don't know if I can let it go. Maybe I am also afraid of not having a second kid, of my first kid growing up a spoiled brat or lonely. Or having him have to face the mortality of his parents alone. I guess I am going to have to figure out how to give up one of these fears and more forward.
Turns out I’m afraid of the future. I have anxiety and it uses up all my energy now so I won’t have negative emotions in the future. Sad thing is, it usually kills the good ones too. It’s time for me to focus on the present and using my fearlessness to remember I can manage any future that comes to me. I will always be more than ok, I’ll be great.
the fear of the unknown ailment is always on my mind... the solution is to hope for the best and plan for the worst.
I fear I will never find a new job I actually want to do for the next 15-20 years. I am hopeful my learning activities and networking will help me find my next work passion.
Fear I have is not being fully equipped to finish what I start and it flops. Its limited me bc i wont reach out for careers, relationships ,that I will be unable to fill role well with boundaries. I plan to overcome it by taking time alone with God writing , saying in His name and doing.
My anxiety is overwhelming me again. I do my best to control it, but when my kids are having difficulties, it comes back with a vengeance. I need to remember my coping methods and be able to be the mom they need, and not another stressor for them. I plan to get back to my therapist for some refreshers.
I'm scared of being hurt again. Vanessa crushed me so deeply that I'm still feeling it, 5 years and a couple of relationships later....
I fear that I'm not as competent as the other teachers I work with at the university who have decades of experience. This fear is compounded by the fact that most of them know me from my student days here in the mid 2000s (I was 58 at the time). In social settings, it makes me nervous when I am introduced to other academics because of my educational background and lack of experience. I was a late bloomer (also a high school dropout) who didn't start teaching until I was 62. In addition, I become timid and lacking in confidence when in conversations about teaching with some of my more experienced peers. I have been teaching for 5 years and working in the Writing Center since I was a senior at this campus. This year, partially because of this insecurity, I have chosen to transition entirely from teaching to tutoring in the writing center. Also, as an adjunct instructor, when I added up the time I spend grading and commenting on papers and meeting with students, it averages out to be about what I earn tutoring (without all of the headaches). I really enjoy working with students, but a lot of my time I feel unfulfilled . I'm considering applying to a larger, urban university where I will have more clients with many writing challenges. Working with developmental writing students was my initial plan when I was in school because I felt that my background meshed more with theirs. In addition, I would be in a new environment in which to develop my personal potential in the final 5 years or so of my short career.
I can't let go of my fear that the move to the right, the loss of political analysis or a concern for actual truth, and the individualism that seems unable to think about others, is not going to turn again before I die. I had so much believed that things were getting more rational, fairer, more considerate, looking for equality both within countries and between the rich and the poor countries. It has gone into reverse. Actually, I don't think it's limited me - it's spurred me to action on the NHS, on gender self-id, et al.
I fear that i'm letting something slip by me by not reaching out to my bio family, but also that doing so would set me back further than healing and moving on. i don't have an end-game idea for contacting them, and don't know what i'd be looking to get out of it. i miss the concept of family, rather than the people involved. i need to overcome, i know i do. perhaps that's as simple as writing a letter than i may or may not send them, telling them we moved, how my life is going, the small stuff. reminding them that i'm still around. if i dwell too much i get in a really bad place. i hope that place is smaller.
Still surrounding the relationship - We have had a great year - working together on our issues. He has been sober for most of 2018. My fear is always what happens if he slips - can I handle it? I continue to speak with my counselor about these fears - hoping to overcome the fear of the future and learn to enjoy the moment.
As I see friend's parents dying, I feel very afraid of what life will be like without my mom, especially since I don't have a father. I plan to do what I can to continue to build a relationship now that is better and keeps improving. I am afraid of not having enough money to live in SF area. I'm not sure how to overcome it or let it go, I may have to accept it or move. I have been both afraid to risk dating and afraid of being lonely in life... so I am both lonely and alone more often than I'd like. I wish I knew what to do. I plan to continue to work on myself and trying to be more open, less afraid, and more forgiving of others - focus on good, give benefit of the doubt, and work on my defensiveness.
I have a fear that I won't be able to leave Had. (my full-time gig) and make coaching my career. Since I don't have any money saved up that I'd be able to live on, I am not really sure how I can actually jump ship, and do to wisely. Right now, the only possibility seems to have a husband who could support me while I build my business. Somehow that feels wrong to expect, and I can't admit that out loud. Women everywhere would think I'm ridiculous. I think I simply need to proceed as if and allow G-d to take charge.
I fear dying. Not sure how to overcome this.
In this particular moment, I have a fear of telling this boy I'm dating that I can't see us together. Because I really, really want to feel something for him, to mirror the feelings he has for me, and it's just not there. This fear is a dangerous one, because it will continue to convince me, date after date, that I just need to spend a little more time with him, and maybe I'll feel that something, and maybe I won't have to let him down. But I think my heart has already decided. And I hate that writing it down makes it even more true. But would I be having any of these thoughts in the first place if it weren't? I don't know exactly when I will speak up and be forthright with him, but I do trust myself to know when it's time. Until then, a few more dates.
I was afraid I would “ruin” the new puppy, but we seem to be doing all right together. My real fears are mostly health related. I worry about losing my ability to function in my career — and the financial trouble that would follow. I worry that the whole rest of my life will be a downward spiral of pain and increasing limitations — and that it will end up being too short anyway... The only thing to do is just keep moving forward and try to keep it all together.
My fear of change/taking risks/allowing myself to fully live the life I deserve & dream of xx I will work on letting go & embracing change through living life as fully anyway & allowing obstacles to become me/ a natural part of my being & then learn to help others xx
Terrified of not having a job and not being able to take financial care of myself. Want that independence so so so much. First it was parents, then husband. Then destruction and but for the goodness of parents/family, I would have been as low as one can go. I want to be confident in my accomplishments and skills and use the confidence to have a stable income.
I have several fears. One is that I will be alone for the rest of my life, and that I will not meet someone who I can trust. My fear is that the person will die, like my first husband, and I do not want to go through that kind of pain again. I am working on letting go of the fear, sometimes overwhelming. I can only keep trying.
I fear so many things, I'm afraid to name them all. I know I need to trust in God more and let go of the illusion of control.
My fear is losing my job and not being able to find a new one or one that is better, quickly enough. My age concerns me, not knowing who I am, where I fit into a corporate world. And the financial issues that go along with it. It isn't where I thought I would be at 60. And my husband is in the same situation!
My fear is losing my ability to function fully. After 4 months of back issues affecting both legs, I am worried that I won't recover fully. If I don't, I can't do so many things that give me pleasure - dancing, hiking, gardening, just doing what I need in my daily activities. There's no letting go, there's only dealing with it and doing everything I can to recover.
How can I afford to have a child? How can I afford my rent? How will it all work out??
Fear of not being true to myself and not doing what "I should" or what "I most want" because of life practicalities. Plan is to do small habit changes next year that will get me closer to what I love doing in daily life.
I'm terrified of being inadequate and letting people down, and yet it feels like that's exactly what I'm doing. Perhaps more myself than anyone else. And yet I think this fear has kept me from moving forward in a way that helps me overcome it. I'm stuck in a spiral where I beat myself up, get nowhere, and stay in the same place. I know I can't let go of this fear, because it's in some ways a core part of me, but I hope to get passed the place in life where I feel that I'm living in the space where my reality feeds itself.
Nothing has really changed over the past yeat. I still carry my old fears and then there are some new ones, related to aging and cognitive slippage, subtle changes that I perceive in mental processing, attention. I hope to do what I can to strengthen my mental capacities and efforts to overcome residual fears.
A strong fear of failure which has stopped me from reaching for my goals in the past. I have decided to worry less about things being perfect and accept that good enough is good enough.
Being stuck with bad results, being stuck with something I didn't think through. Afraid of the unknown, afraid that my worst nightmare will be. Meditation, talking about my anxiety. Using self-care to address anxiety to lessen and prevent: talk about my feelings, keep active (run, workout, walk, play), eat well (eat clean), drink sensibly (1-2 glasses or beers), keep in touch (parents, sisters, kids, friends), ask for help (Christy, sisters, friends, colleagues), take a break (vacation, self-care, rituals, mediation), do something I'm good at (workout, fantasy football, play sports, ??), accept who you are (??), care for others (service!, Christy, boys, mom and day).
As I write these responses, I consider NOT sharing them for fear that someone else will “steal my ideas” and run with them. It keeps me small. I want to have others to collaborate on my business - to learn ways to do it more effectively. In this next year, I want to build a coaches consortium to tap into and eventually build a bigger business.
I worry that I'll never get to a point where I can just jump up and lead any service (without much anxiety and preparation). The sheer amount of text and melody is overwhelming to me! When I am leading, I have this constant paranoia that I'm accidentally skipping paragraphs that must be added, or reciting paragraphs that should be omitted, or using the wrong nusach, or going too fast while at the exact same time going too slow. Hardcore impostor syndrome. I think the only way to address this is to keep chipping away at it, bit by bit: signing up to lead, giving myself enough prep time, asking questions without feeling stupid, and laughing/learning when I do the wrong thing--because I sure will.
Exhaustion. Losing my independence. Not coping. Anything that weakens me. It means I don't take risks and I don't follow my creativity. That depresses me and I need to find a way to shake it off and follow my dreams instead of kidding myself that I'm good at what I do and that the rewards from that are enough.
being alone financial insecurity no time to plan for her passing lack of being loved
I constantly live in fear about climate change. I remember seeing Gasland and feeling like everything had changed. Then somehow watching the Century of the Self doc made me feel like I couldn't get a handle on anything. And the meltdown at Fukushima. There has just been a series of catastrophes and growing awareness of how little I understand about the world and what the future might look like. Having children has exacerbated this greatly. I frequently hear a song from 10+ years ago and think wistfully about how gloriously naive I was when it came out, and I jsut do not derive joy from the world in the same way anymore. No song moves me, as I live in dread. I wonder when I take a walk alone what my game plan would be if there were a disaster while I'm away from the kids. How will D and I ensure their safety? Anyway, it's extremely limiting. I do not enjoy life in the same way. I dream of living in LA, but it is less and less strong all the time, as I imagine how bad it would be to live in that artificial oasis when things get bad. I don't know how to let it go, but it's become apparent recently that I need to. I am trying to live in the moment without causing too much damage to our possible future. I will work on this...
I have been afraid of performing for years now - ever since I went to uni. I think I’m already overcoming it though! The concert we did recently was awesome - I was nervous, but in control. I plan to perform as much as I can in order to turn my fear into adrenaline, and use it to play even better.
That I am not Okay as I am has been a fear of mine for most of my life. Since I have stopped giving my opinions so often and have started losing significant amounts of weight & have found that Roger seems to be happier. My focus has been almost entirely on keeping myself from eating. I feel a tremendous sense of control/ power/ satisfaction/ accomplishment on the days that I eat fewer than 300 calories. as long as the scale shows that I have lost weight I am happy. Staying the same is not good enough. Gaining is disgusting.
I have fear of retaliation and/or reprisal for my political views and actions. I will seek to do what I think is right and let the cards fall where they may.
Fear of criticism has been huge my entire life. Constant criticism has crippled me emotionally speaking, and stunted my confidence. I am going to learn how to overcome my limiting beliefs, and have FAITH in myself. I believe in my ability to find the solution to any problem that tries to get in my way.
I'd like to have made real progress on unpacking (and thus hopefully reducing) my fear of failure. It is important to me because it is a major barrier to me learning new languages (ie Hebrew) and probably also gets in my way in many other areas of my life. I hope to let go of this in therapy by starting to better understand its source.
For about seven years now, I've been living under the fear of not being able to take care of myself. It's been a self-fulfilling prophecy. I believe the universe provides what we need when we need it, and I'm ready to take that to heart, to quit allowing fear to drive my behavior.
There are several things I fear, and there are steps I take to combat these everyday terrors. I fear a right-wing coup of major world governments until the most vulnerable among us are marginalized, unheard, persecuted, and in the worst cases, imprisoned. I fear the rich taking control of all water and food supplies, so we become essentially enslaved as a means of survival. I labor daily in voice and action against this, and I vote with my paycheck. This is why inspirational voices and grass roots activists are getting into politics, and how they're able to crowd-fund so effectively. Let it remind you how many people care, and that we still hold the majority. The least expensive option: we need to start smiling at each other more. I fear the decay of my body and mind, and I fear failure and the simultaneous dissolution of my faculties and talents. Just like those mornings when I want to talk myself out of exercising, I know it's a pure benefit to my blood circulation, my heart strength, and my muscle endurance, so I propel myself by will onto the street. By the same analogy, I force myself to read and write, to continuously seek out inspiration in colorful visionary art, new organic music, and the playful juxtaposition of words. What I don't fear? Positive changes. A vengeful patriarchal God. The final frontier of death.
Ari Fuld was murdered yesterday and as a result there is an outpouring of Jewish unity the world over. I fear that it will dissipate and things will return to "normal" and we will lose the pain and sense of unity that we now feel.
I still have the fear of being rejected. That I am not worthy/ good enough for all God called me to do. I have this fear that goes against the Word & logic. The Word says Jehovah Nissi, God is my banner. Why would He be my banner of He didn't believe I would represent Him well? He wouldn't! I need to come to a place/understanding that my insecurities are all my own. I am going to work on my praise, declarations & health. I have to let my determination over take my fears. I will purposely, intentionally & diligently go after my goals. I will be in different & better spot this time next year!
I am afraid that nobody likes me, including my family. I am afraid that my presence is not useful to the people I love. And I am afraid that I have some sort of social deficit and am not really a person who is able to love or be loved by other people. But I think that actually these are all just stories I tell myself. I want to become less attached to these stories. If I can detach, then I can look at a situation and respond to it honestly, instead of getting caught up in what my mind is telling me about what someone thinks about me.
I've only realized it very recently, but I guess I have allowed pain to limit me. Not fear of pain exactly -- I have a pretty high threshold for pain-- but fear of acknowledging pain and what that pain might mean. Instead of recognizing pain in my body, I think "I am tired." or "I am so lazy," or "I'm just not used to hard physical work anymore," which is infinitely preferable to thinking, "My body hurts. Is it always going to hurt? Should I be concerned? Is this a sign of something serious? Should I worry?"
I always fear that I am not enough. I will practice being and not just doing. I need to take more chances in this area.
I want to let go of worrying about how living the way I need to live might affect someone else, but in a responsible way that involves accountability and not being lazy. I am scared of a lot of things I cannot control right now involving terminal illness and I have no idea what this path looks like, but I just have to trust and be my best self.
I fear change in some ways but I think now that I have a goal of completing my schooling and then finding a job that I really enjoy, as long as I stick to that plan I will overcome the fear and hopefully be happier than ever!
One fear that I always have is related to being the only sole provider in the family. This means that if I ever lose my job or anything like that, I need to be able to figure out how to generate income quickly on my own, without a moment’s pause. This can definitely be a bit nerve wracking at times. However, even at the same time I think that I wouldn’t be doing things much differently if the case were otherwise (or at least I don’t think I’d want to), because I appreciate the fact that I’m putting my best effort into my work - as if my life and wellbeing depended upon it - at the same time not killing myself in doing so.
Autofahren macht mir Angst. Aber nicht nur, ich habe natürlich auch Bedenken wegen der Umwelt. Ich überlege tatsächlich immer wieder, ob ich den Führerschein nicht abbrechen soll. Eventuell möchte ich Monkey Bars trainieren, das finde ich beängstigend. Aber ansonsten finde ich, dass Ängste gut sind und eine Berechtigung haben, und ich muss sie nicht überwinden.
I have a fear of succeeding it seems and procrastinate so as not to achieve my dream life. This has carried out through the toxins relationship I endured over the past three years. I tried many times to extract myself but failed and was convinced to stay together. Thisnwas a mistake. I held myself back, I was unable to focus, to complete my studies, to live a free life. I pretended that I was being kind, generous, caring and doing the right thing, however this, I now know was a deception. A manipulation I allowed to happen to me. I now know better I now know to trust my judgement and that if someone seems to good to be true or if their stories se far reaching, they probably are. I have walked away with less money, less time and probably a dented ego, however the lessons I've learnt are invaluable. I'm working to let go of the hurt,the trust issues and the indignation, and I will. I'm working to build a strong future for my daughter and an amazing future for my family. Through meditation, reflection and I'm sure some counselling I will unravel this horrendous act and from it I will shine like a diamond.
It's amazing how last year's fear has disappeared because of my new relationship with my job. My first thought to answer this question - I'm afraid of changing for the worst. And then I immediately berated myself for judging myself like that. I know my mental health struggles and the tough stuff I've faced are indications of a growing, developing, learning, and honestly normal person. But I'm still scared of losing sight of the grateful and happy go lucky person that I used to always see myself as. I'm worried I will go through life without gratitude - always unhappy, anxious, or unsatisfied. I can't let that happen. I plan to take extra steps (maybe even step out of my comfort zone) to work on my mental health this year.
I am afraid that the GOP is going to successfully reverse as many women's rights and protections as they physically can given the limitations of space and time. When they're not detaining people of color and destroying the environment and buying guns and alienating our allies and aligning themselves with dictators and shoving dollar bills in their god-damned pockets. I am not going to allow their siege to overwhelm me. I am going to continue to call my Senators and Representatives on a weekly basis, encourage friends and family to vote, and dispel rumors and misinformation when I can.
I fear death. I fear continued pain without relief. I fear abandonment. I fear destruction and loss. I will accept the reality of my fears, and the reality of their opposites -- creation, community, joy, discovery.
I'm afraid of being lonely. I'm afraid of not wanting my own company. I avoid quality time with myself because of it. But I think the key is to spend more quality time alone -- to find the ways I like to be by myself. I've gotten better at this in some ways, but I think that my use of technology as a way to numb myself is a manifestation of this. I don't think I'll ever be over this fear. But I know that it is so much more manageable when I regularly connect with myself, either by journaling, swimming, walking, talking myself up in front of the mirror (so hard to do). I'd love to commit to making a regular practice of connecting with myself, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to maintain it. Maybe I should just applaud myself every time I manage to do it?
I fear failure. This has limited my joy and breath of life. I plan on dedicating my heart to fight the fear of failing and trying regardless of what I look like or how it feels.
Fear of ridicule and rejection has always been huge for me. It has limited me in that I have often not spoken my mind, not told people exactly how I feel, not showed my enthusiasm, not asked people out on dates, not asked friends to hang out with me, not performed as much as I want to, not written music, not talked to those strangers whose conversation was fascinating, etc. Life is too short! I want to be myself. When I get down to it, I realize that fear holds me back from being my most authentic self.
I fear failing. I fear not being able to pay my bills. Because of my fear of failure, I am not very adventurous. My goal is to take a leap of faith and just follow my heart. I am working hard to figure out the financial end of it - and then to just make the leap. I know that my husband will hold my hand and leap with me and I believe that together we CAN do it!
My biggest fear is that I don't actually know what I'm doing, and everyone else is better than me. This has been my biggest and longest fear and I think it stems from being an identical twin, and having her be better at everything than me. It's a conflict that I'm sure she'd argue, since the one thing I've been "better than her" at has always been making friends and/or connections with people. But that doesn't get you the job, the trust of superiors, to a healthy body weight, to have a solid relationship, or anything. It just means I can stand in line at Whole Foods and make friends with the people in line. I'm hoping that by exploring writing more and finding more things out about myself, I can sit more comfortably in my self doubt and potentially acknowledge that this same cripple is something everyone else around me feels.
I have a fear of being not good enough. It limits me because it doesn’t let me be vulnerable. It doesn’t let me admit when I’m wrong or not as good at certain things as someone else. It makes me more critical of others as a crutch for building myself up. I think to overcome this I need to take baby steps. I need to test the waters to prove to myself that nothing terrible will happen if I’m not the best at things and to ultimately show myself that I am Enough.
I fear that I will be a failure after I graduate in May. I fear that no company will want me. I’m going to rock my interviews and know that it is not personal if I don’t get the job.
This is such a blindingly obviously answer - my fear is my anxiety and ability to be able to do things and not feel scared or doubt myself....from that the plan is to try to stay as grounded in the presence as possible, to appreciate what I have and continue to work on myself through therapy, meditation, yoga, healthy eating, nature, and so on. I also plan on breaking down and destroying my core negative beliefs and continue the journey of becoming a much stronger self assured individual.
Well, I'm still afraid of spiders and I don't see that changing. I mostly have to deal with the ones that invade my house. And I do. Last week a spider on my bedroom wall was bigger than my hand! It took half a can of spider spray to kill it. That stuff nearly killed me even with the window open and a fan on high. I fear for our country as it changes, run by the white supremacists and ignorant thugs. I have stopped watching the news. I see bits and pieces on social media. That's enough to disturb me to the point of physical and emotional discomfort. I don't know how to let it go. So far, my only recourse has been to meditate. That helps a lot.
I think last year I worked a lot on overcoming fears. I am sure more will crop up. But, I think I am pretty good in that area right now. I am mildly concerned about my long distance boyfriend moving in. It's not really a fear. It's more of an unknown. But I think it will be fine. I guess If I didn't, he wouldn't be moving in. :) I know it will take some adjustment. I am just uneasy about going through those adjustments.
As I said earlier, the fear now that I'm better at ending unhealthy associations, is how to avoid them going forward. I have a lot of healing work to do to get to a place of peace.
I am afraid that I don't know enough- that I will be found out to be a fraud. I'm afraid that I'm not funny enough, or cool enough, or relevant enough. I'm always thinking steps ahead in a conversation. My hope and prayer is that I find a way to stay present, and know that what I bring to the table is enough.
Fears: public speaking. That I am not enough. Plan: practice, exposure. Build my "house" - internal identification of values and examples of how I live them out.
My fear is that I am completely unlikable and will never have any friends. I have no clue how to overcome this one.
I am afraid of busses. I rode the bus for the first time on Sunday. I hope to ride the bus on a regular bases to overcome or at least become comfortable with my gear.
Fear: Wasting Time Plan: Letting go. Don't spend time on activities, thoughts, energy that doesn't serve me/my goals/my values Fear: Being lonely - not having anyone in my life at a deep level Plan: Go out of my way to connect, ask thoughtful questions, show up. Be there for people who are deserving of my time and love - not chasing people who do not appreciate me Fear: Rejection Plan: Let it go. Love myself so much that it doesn't matter if I get rejected. Fear: Not being enough/living to my potential Plan: Calm down. Believe. Go for it.
I am afraid of settling - I am a maximizer and in my personal and professional life am constantly afraid that I am not doing the best possible thing. In the coming year, I want to focus on small wins and small pleasures. They are enough.
I'm still terrified of failure! It stops me from trying things. Ask me how many jobs I've applied for since going part-time. It's just easier to ignore the looming deadline and do anything else...but the way to fix that, as always, is to put myself out there and try things, knowing that the world won't end and I won't die if it doesn't work out the first time.
Fear that I am not loved or liked. It makes me want to seek confirmation that I am loved and look for signs that I am not and protect. But the truth is I am loved regardless of what others do to me. And I can show love in all kinds of ways without needing to prove I'm getting it. I will let go by mindfully seeing myself and others as loved and loving.
Fear of 'poverty' that's self-created Fear of spending a lifetime so 'sure' of what I believe I have to contribute that I'm shut to what could be 100% easier a life, 1000% more lucrative, starting 'today' Fear of living in magical thinking
I’m fearful for the world we find ourselves in. Too much ugly behavior, hate and that all comes from fear. The only thing to fear is fear itself. I pray I am mindful when I’m coming from fear and change those thoughts immediately.
My fear of driving is crippling my growth. I will conquer it.
I have been raised to fear the unknown. It hasn't made me happier, safer, healthier, more successful, or more prosperous– it's made me anxious. From now on, I will no longer catastrophize by "what iff-ing." I vow to face the future, free of suffering. I am going to focus on the present moment, from moment to moment, and live as the best me I can be.
I fear I will never be financially stable, I fear I will forever be alone due to a chance of inheritance of my mother's mean spirited personality traits. I always try to be nice and believe in kindness to counterbalance that.
I want to be liked by everyone, but that's just dumb and restrictive and takes a lot of energy. I'd like to let go of that by focusing on the friendships I have and investing in liking myself.
I have a fear that I will not finish my Swedish death space clearing/preparation before I go back to where I came here from, and that my family will have to go through all my junk. I’m currently space clearing like a fanatic to ensure that will not be so!
I have a fear of public speaking. It's about the speaking itself as much as believing I know enough to have something valuable to say. I've made some tiny strides, presenting to student groups last year for my work, and speaking at today's Yom Kippur service. But I still shy away from opportunities to present at conferences and similar opportunities that might bring my own advancement. I want to say "yes" more this year.
My biggest fear is that I will be seen as a hypocrite by my children as I live so imperfectly for the Lord and try to discipline and instruct them in the ways of the Lord. I know that I need to trust in the POWER of the Holy Spirit to live a life of holiness and righteousness and believe in the sovereignty of God as He placed these children into my home.
Social situations, social skills, anxiety around people. My mind and thinking working well. Dying. After being in hospitable last January with type A? flu I have become more germ phobic. I want to overcome the social/people fears. I don't yet know how. Especially since I think I am having brain function problems, yet diagnosed. These things have limited me tremendously. I used to love to fly. Now I have a great fear that developed at some point after I left NCAR and gained weight. I plan to contact the practitioner that I met at a Sr support group talk and see if she might be able to help me with the whole food prep thing. The other things???
I fear being alone, and that limits how I act sometimes, my fear of being alone stops me from sometimes speaking my mind, for fear that my opinions or thoughts might turn people away from me
I fear dying alone. It limits me because well, we all die alone regardless and I must face my lack of social connection before I can correct and connect. I cannot 'overcome' this, I can only face it. I will work on this.
I fear resting and finding out my worth is nothing unless I constantly work to be worthy. I work constantly to assign worth to my life and feel extremely uncomfortable when I stand still.
WOW--what I wrote last year is still true. I still fear being confrontational, but I've gotten better at it. A fear that I realized I have is that I fear being vulnerable. This type of fear isn't a fear in the sense that it keeps me up at night. I've internalized this fear so much that my default position with any person is not discussing any sensitive topics such as my mood in relation to life events and career prospects. Unfortunately, I think this is preventing me from developing real friendships. Many are superficial and I've come to see that I don't discuss "deep" topics with many people. One person over the summer got me to open up, and I am so grateful I did. I'd like to open up to more people so that I can have a real relationship and not a shallow "friendship." I think the reason for me being protective is that I believe by doing that, I gain an advantage, in the same way that Aaron Burr sings in the musical ("I keep all my plans close to my chest"). But that's a very lonely life to live.
On some level, I'm afraid of being okay with how things are. I am afraid of passive acceptance, that if I decide I'm okay I'll never date and get married and have a family and I will be a spinster. I want to challenge that fear/belief. I know it's possible to be okay with things and take action in a curious and exploratory way, not an urgent coming-from-pain way. Let's try being okay with things in the moment, but not in a resigned heavy kind of way. In a light open way. Being okay with the present is different from accepting the present as if it were a projection of the indefinite future.
I fear a cancer recurrence. I fear dental treatment. I want to find a dentist who can work with my fears and help me create a plan for improvement. God says we should not live in fear. I know my eternal home. How do I improve how I take care of my tent in a Godly way? Without becoming self-obsessed.
I am terrified of my loved ones passing away. I am not sure where the paralyzing fear has come from or why it has grown tremendously in the past few years, but I wake up every morning fearing someone I need in my life will die. I need to get rid of this endless fear and accept that if and when the time comes it is part of life, but on the flip side I can't live my life in fear.
Being alone for the rest of my life. It limits me in that I worry I won't have a sunny future however it is also motivating in that I want to act now so that I won't be all alone when I'm old. I keep wanting to have more plans and it is an annual wish that I have more good friends in my life. Holidays and my birthday are hard for me because I feel so alone. Every year I say that I will do something about it but I continue to feel alienated at times.
Can’t think of any. It’s nice to see my answer from last year and see that it’s resolved.
I fear that my husband will succumb to the prostate cancer that has plagued us since the beginnings of our relationship, and that I will lose him to it. This fear can't be let go because it's ever present with monthly blood tests and several doctor's visits throughout the year. I hope to overcome it by participating in more support group calls through US Too; by opening up to my husband and allowing him to see my fear; and possibly by speaking to a trained professional.
I have a deep-seated fear that I will have a cognitive decline like both my parents. My father was sharp into his eighties, but Mom started showing signs of dementia when she was still in her seventies. I plan to overcome it by living my live to the fullest and by not letting anything slow me down!
Fear of presenting in public.
I'm afraid that I'm going to die or never get any healthier than I am. I'm hoping to figure that out with doctors over the next two weeks. And then I'll learn to live with what is. Better yet, I'll try to learn to live with the unknown.
I have a fear of jumping into deep water. A lot of times I will just say I need to stay in the shallow end with my kids. I don't plan on over coming this fear this year, maybe I will start to think of a plan to take care of it though :)
ooo, big question! So many fears. A fear of dying young...soon (i am 55) and leaving Eliana. How has it limited me...hmmm I don't live in the present. I spend time thinking about what if. Time passes by anyway. I am not taking good care of myself and continuing to gain weight which impairs my health and makes death, sudden or otherwise more likely. Dam, that is scary to write. How to overcome it? I notice when I am doing my work and not holding back I don't think about it nearly as much. I have much less fear. The same goes for when I am eating well and taking care of myself. So that is what helps me overcome it and that is what I shall do. Oh, and pray, connect with G-d...remember I am in partnership with Spirit.
I'm so afraid of being disappointing. It's not a good fear to have because it can transform to fit any situation with any person; even when I'm alone, I worry that I'm not living up to my potential. If it's possible to do a post-mortem on something that's still happening, that's me and that's how I live a lot of the time. This isn't a new fear, and it's one I've been trying to address in therapy for almost a decade now. It gets better, slowly. The thing that has helped the most, which I want to keep doing in the coming year, is just saying what I mean and need and want and letting other people's disappointment fall where it might. I can't be everything to everyone; more importantly, no one has asked me to be. This life is not a pop quiz I can get all the answers right to. So why am I trying? Instead, let me be brash on occasion and at least live up to myself. Sometimes I'm unfunny and unpretty and unkind. Sometimes I worry about finishing my book, and then the book after. So what. I am the only person I have to be with for every moment of my life, and I might as well be good to that person while I can.
A fear I have is bringing a child into this world where so much sorrow, trauma and pain lives. Even though I experience so much happiness, love and fulfillment in my life, I still have so much fear around what my child might experience and how I have no control over that. Since I will likely begin trying to get pregnant this year, I want to come to terms with this fear and this lack of control.
I fear nothing.
Right now my biggest fear is committing to another relationship with is toxic. The best way to address this is to be very cautious in how I approach my next relationship and make sure that the person is worthy of my heart before I give it away.
I'm afraid of living my life alone. I hope therapy will help me overcome this fear.
I'm afraid that I may be in a position of trying to sell a service that will have very little demand in a highly competitive market and that I'll be unable to distinguish my company from all the others offering similar services. That fear will dissipate only when I start making progress toward breaking into the market by getting out there personally and introducing myself to clients
My biggest fear continues to be that I'll end up alone. That I won't find someone who loves me in the way that I love someone else. But I don't want to settle with less than what I want.
I have a fear that my son will not be prepared to take care of himself when he goes to college. I plan to give him greater independence and trust him more between now and then.
I have been a chameleon-like people-pleaser most of my life. It has kept me from finding out who I, Diane, am. Like the heroine in Runaway Bride, I had no idea how I liked my eggs cooked. Well, that is changing. I've had some counseling and revelation and I am working toward discovering and being me by examining my thinking and by analyzing my behaviors to see where they come from. Once I know that, I can fight them on equal ground until they are vanquished! And they will leave. I'm so excited!!!
Fear of what others think and of asking others for things. Has limited me from getting what I want, and has made my default position to the world a closed-off one. I want to let it go and be open with the world while being transparent and honest about what I want and not making it my responsibility to guess everyone's reactions.
Fear for this planets and all humanity. Sometimes I get depressed and then play a lot of free cell and word games. Meditation and prayer helps. So does reading uplifting material and going to ACA. Coaching - making a difference for others. Landmark. Hearing soothing music. Spending time with friends.
I fear failing. So cliché, I know, but I'm paralyzed by this fear and my life is running out to do the things that matter. I'm taking heart that I've begun the process of facing my illness without letting it pull me into the immobility of despair.
I'm apparently afraid of failure. Never really thought of myself that way, but looking back at some of my choices, it seems like I unconsciously directed my life in a way that would keep me from taking risks. I hope to be more conscious of my choices and fears in the future to be more daring and productive.
Not being good enough, in almost every facet of my life, is the fear that habitually paralyzes me. At work -- not being a good enough teacher to get the results from my students that they deserve. Also not being a good enough teacher to give them the "fun rewarding experience" that they deserve and that would (hopefully) make them fall in love with dance. At home -- not being a good enough wife and parent, failing those who I care about most and being a thing they want to get away from, rather than a thing they are grateful for. At the Melodrama -- not being a skilled enough director, not being inspiring enough, not being creative enough. For myself -- not being pretty enough, thin enough, curvy enough, appealing enough, fun enough, talented enough, flexible enough, strong enough, kind enough, conscientious enough, disciplined enough, loving enough. These fears keep me thinking that I need to retreat so I can somehow shore up these lacks. They keep me thinking small and making choices to keep myself small. I'm going to read more (Brene! Pema!), practice more self-care (taking the time to answer questions, taking the time to rest, taking the time to enjoy my talents). I'm going to face those fears like a coworker over coffee and talk to them and get them to play a more positive, supportive role in my process. I'm going to help myself to see that I'm enough. I'm going to be there with myself. I'm going to teach myself that I am enough to face my challenges. I'm going to surround myself with my own support. I'm also going to reach out to my support systems and continue to cultivate connection with my good people -- my husband, my mother, my sisters, my mentors, my close friends. Especially those at the end I need to invest in more. I'm going to reach out from the isolation of "not good enough," pour into the "truly enough" of others and let them pour into me.
Man, I have this ongoing fear of violence toward me or others. I want to work on noticing it and interrupting it rather than letting myself spin and dwell. It serves no purpose and has the effect of making me more fearful and less friendly in my everyday life.
I am afraid of rejection. This keeps me from connecting in the ways that are necessary to create and maintain friendships. I’m afraid of not being enough, or good enough, and it’s limited me in regard to friendships, work, and community. I need to just practice putting myself out there and trusting I am enough.
Cancer continues to dominate my fears. Life is a circle of loss and renewal, but some losses are much harder to overcome. I will continue to do what I can to help conserve energy for what it is most desperately needed, staying well. This will help me let go of the fear as I will also prove I can do it all if need be.
Being alone without my children to care about me. I do not know.
I am scared of my financial unpreparedness for the future (both short and long-term). I plan to save like crazy in the coming year.
I’m always afraid of coming across as anything but gentle and nice, which often holds me back from saying how I really feel and keeps me from really taking control of situations in my life. I need to practice being firm and assertive, while keeping my signature diplomatic tone. I plan to take coachings through my job that will help me build this skill.
Failure, being "found out" as a fraud, being wrong, missing important details, etc. I plan to continue working to develop my supervision skills.
I'm still fearful of getting back to my goal weight. I work hard at it, but the results have not been what I wanted.
I have always had a fear that I am somehow intrinsically not good enough or lovable. Sometimes it makes me self-involved and insecure and needing a lot of positive reinforcement. I want to work on that by meditating more regularly.
I have a fear of rejection that leads me to inaction. Every time I avoid a situation because I am too scared to know what could happen if I try, I have to hang my head and sit with the guilt that I have because I know that is not productive. I often only step one foot out of my comfort zone, making sure I still have a heavy grip on the easy and the known. This has lead me to stay in relationships I shouldn't be in, it has held me back from spiritual growth, it has held me back from accessing my education fully and it feels like I am boxing myself in. I hope to stretch my mind's legs this year in terms of what I feel I am allowed to do or think, and push myself to be courageous. Life is nothing but a series of attempts, and if I can work on my self-confidence this year I think I will be able to accept that more fully and not be afraid of rejection.
Fear of change, risk, the unknown. I seem to deal with it by waiting until I reach my breaking point and then burning everything down because there is not a choice. This year I am stopping before my breaking point and trying a new country, with a lot of unknown. We will see how it goes.
I have had a fear that this success, this alignment, this good fortune is based in coincidence and it's going to expire. It's totally limiting and designed to keep me small, and it's really been coming to the forefront when I realize what I'm capable of. I plan on letting it go and overcoming it by breathing into it, saying "thank you" to it, unraveling it with my friends and loved ones, and letting it go. Recognizing this is proof of how close I am to doing stupendous things. I'm excited and ready for this chapter of GROWTH and EXPANSION and GOOD WORK and ALIGNMENT and JOY and I welcome it fully and with a vulnerable, discerning, open heart.
I have a fear of not being liked, which has limited my ability to stand up for myself which has both led to me being taken advantage of and also to me resenting people who might have treated me differently if I had myself more clear. Sometimes when I've tried to let this go in the past I've perhaps been too aggressive/swung too far the other way, though it's hard to tell. I think I might begin to deal with this by reminding myself more often of the difference between nice and good, and checking in with myself about whether I'm doing the "nice" thing or the "good" thing.
I have feared settling, particularly in intimacy and in taking next steps for my future. I haven't taken many steps forward and haven't challenged myself like I have in other situations and fears. I opened myself up to intimacy and got hurt. So right now, I wish I didn't even though I know it was needed and for the better. I wonder how I'll feel about it in a year. I hope it will be less painful and become a distant memory. The best thing to do on both of these fronts is to get out there, meet people, prepare for going back to school and limit excuses. Don't be afraid to be myself, to be upfront with my feelings and to not hesitate if someone is mistreating me and speak up.
I am still afraid of talking to people on the phone. It definitely limits me, but i will always be thankful for text and email.
My fear of rejection and that I am not enough (esp with respect to my writing) I want to compile my writing and start my book. THat will be a start. I am not going to try and take on too much.
Pek olmamış yine bu sene de :) Ama Yomi'nin yaklaşımı çok iyi. Yavaş yavaş ilerliyoruz yapacak bir şey yok
Indo not have a healthy relationship with Money and I think it has always limited my financial stability. I need to change my mindset to " I have enough". I'm always afraid I will end up back where I was. That is a huge source of stress. But I can save money and handle money better and I might have some peace of mind.
I have a lot of financial fears; that I won’t be able to buy a house, pay for my wedding independently, provide for my future children in a lifestyle similar to that which I enjoyed. I want to continue to let go of this need of saving so vigourisly and take pride and freedom to enjoy the fruits of my labor more in the moment.
Fear of not being able to compete in an oversaturated market. I'm just going to try to learn as much as possible through personal exploration and community college classes. That knowledge will help me one way or another! I will find success.
A fear that I have is that I am waiting "for the other shoe to drop" with my work life. I think it has limited my potential success. I plan on letting it go by continuing to monitor it, talk about it, and remind myself of the ways that I have prepared and planned for potential difficulties. I also will remind myself that I have resources at my disposal that if the worst does happen I can rely on and turn to and help work through the situation.
My fear is that of not being good enough, for myself, my partner, my work, my family. The service today talked about believing that you are enough and I would like to work on that so I can share that idea.
I think the fear of failure has really held me back this year. Since moving into coaching and the industry I want to work in, I have become very self doubting. More of what other people think of me and my ability. I am confident when coaching but self doubt if I’m doing the right thing. My previous experience coaching shows that I am good at what I do, with programming, alternative selection of exercises and motivating athletes. I need to ignore the self doubt and focus on what I’m doing and how I can help all athletes and clients to improve. And ignore what other people are doing and what they think of me and my ability.
Though the crisis in Europe is still upon us, this year I came to fear for my family more. I think the older generation has to leave us someday and recently I've been feeling that it is getting closer to us. I wish my grandparents would stay with us longer. I very much hope that they do.
Asking for what I want. I do a lot of complaining and hinting and coaxing and leaving clues. This is most in my relationship with my partner but also at work, in friendships, in hobbies, with myself. I guess I don't always ask myself for what I want. I spend a lot of time distracting myself from what I need. distractions like online shopping, googling shit, facebook, thinking about texting friends, worrying about my weight, generally beating myself up. If I wasted less time on wallowing in how imperfect I am, I could focus on what I really want. I could make a timesheet of activities but a lot of it is mental activity. I'm also letting go of goals I thought I should have and focusing on what actually makes me feel good. I think I have to write my husband letters because our conversations are too hard. The Lasting app helps. I have to vote myself the executive decision maker rather than checking with other people, my mom, my husband, the internet, the calendar, yelp, etc. I'm always shopping around rather than just getting what I came for.
My biggest fear is flying, followed closely by being a passenger in a car, and long bus rides. I try to limit myself to places I can get to on foot, via a short bus ride, or a train. It doesn't really bother me. I don't plan to work on overcoming it this year.
I’m afraid of failure, and specifically of not achieving success as defined by my parents. It holds me back when I don’t try new activities or hobbies and say no to experiences. Sometimes, my jealousy of others affects my friendships. It poisons me through my own insecurity. It makes me snobby towards others, as a way of elevating myself. It creates an entire framework where I am constantly judging my own success against others, and doesn’t give me a chance to follow my heart, for fear that I won’t be good enough. I’m planning to keep meditating next year. In school, I’ll be in the position of having to be a learner, and specifically of learning how to struggle with something. When courses don’t come easily, I will try to remind myself that it is OK to work hard and not get it right the first time. That’s what I signed up for. I will try not to berate myself or others, and recognize that I’m having a hard time, and that’s OK.
I'm scared about not being able to financially support myself, I'm scared that I've screwed up my health for life with this food allergy situation, and I'm scared about being alone in old age. Money, Health, & Relationship: those are 3 very basic needs. I hope that I can get past these fears by thinking positively and taking proactive measures.
Fear of my psychologically unstable daughter not surviving this year. Fear of my son getting lost in abyss while I'm trying to save his sister. Fear my evil ex will come and try to take them from me. Fear of basically everything.
I may have used this last year, I'm sure I've used it before - I'm terrified of other people, and it prevents me from standing up for myself. This year I'm team lead, and I need to be able to discuss things with my principal without just caving immediately because I'm afraid. I'm not sure how to do it but to do it, so that's what I'll do.
I have a very deep fear of loosing my dog, and I anticipate it very very often. It limits me completely on how I enjoy the everyday life with her and in general. And this fear also makes me feel that I should be a better pet mum for her and makes me feel terrible. I hope that by being present I let go of this fear and enjoy more every moment with her, and develop kindness towards myself in terms of how good pet-mum I am
I do not live in fear. I don't have things that bother me day to do. But I guess in the big picture, there is some underlying fear of growing old alone. IDK if Jamey is really up for that with me. I also am a little afraid of a mass shooting affecting me or my loved ones. I am a little afraid of our country getting blown up because of cheeto face. As I said, I do not ruminate on these day to day, so I will continue to just leave them on the back burner.
Everything? Fear of being wrong, fear of making it worse, fear of not being enough or worth it, fear I have no point.
I fear discomfort. Whether it's being afraid of staying up too late and being tired the next day, or of speaking to new people and feel awkward and weird, this fear limits my social life and the way I choose to spend my free time. Over the past two years, I have watched way too much TV (although it was enjoyable) and did not spend enough time outside of my comfort zone. I hope to change that this upcoming year.
I have a fear of upsetting/inconveniencing/disappointing people. To avoid this, I am highly accommodating. Frequently, I go out of the way to make plans work for others, even if they are less convenient for me. I've become increasingly aware of this over the last year, as it's no longer just me this trait inconveniences - it's also my partner now. He gets incredibly frustrated with me and challenges me on why I'm not putting me/us first. It's a tough habit to shake, but I think the first step has been starting to acknowledge in the moment when I'm doing it, and call myself out on it. The next step is harder - putting me/us first. Being okay with others' disappointment/frustration. I've recognised other people put themselves first ALL the time and it's not always reciprocal when I do it, so I'm motivated to get better at it. It will be uncomfortable, but I know it needs to happen.
I don't have any fears.
My biggest fear is aimlessness. I'm always waiting around for someone to point me in a direction instead of using my own agency to make decisions. I'm worried that this will lead me to not finding a job that I really like, and also that it will keep me from entering into meaningful relationships. I resolve to be more proactive this year in all aspects of my life -- to do more research, to be less passive, to put myself out there. I can change this aspect of myself and can overcome this fear.
I am afraid I am becoming too old to do things I wanted to do. I am so glad we had James when we did. I don't know how to overcome it, as it has a real impact on if we're ever going to buy a house and whatnot. Perhaps it shouldn't, though. Perhaps I should just carry on.
I can't think of any fears that have limited me in the past year - I feel at peace with myself and with all that I do - I have let go of all fear and allow what is to happen to happen.
I have a deep fear of being alone. In the coming year, I want to do a 3 day silent retreat. I need to learn that I’m never truly alone, and I need to fully rely on God for everything in my life.
This is hard. As a child I always feared losing my parents. They were almost 50 when I was born so it was realistic. But it didn't happen. I feared as a teenager that if all my years of studying ballet did not end in an invitation to join a company I would be devastated. At 17 I realized there was more to life than ballet. Who knew? After the death of my first baby I feared I'd die from the unimaginable and crushing pain and that motherhood would never be apart of my life. A year later Gena entered our lives, perfect, healthy and full of life, and the pain of Luke's death found a place of rest in my soul. The day my precious Quique was diagnosed with an inoperable and untreatable cancer I feared our four children and I would never again smile,never laugh, never know a moment of the peace and security we took for granted. When he died in my arms a year later I feared I was prepared any of the myriad of roles he had fulfilled so effortlessly. Balancing a thriving Nurse Midwifery practice and Birth Center with the needs of four individual humans between 3 and 11 was overwhelming; then Hashem smiled and sent us a nanny who was fleeing from Nicaragua. She needed us, we needed her, and yes, Mr. Trump, she was undocumented! We moved to Colorado and two years later I was diagnosed with Acute Mylogenous Leukemia. The motto that became our mantra was born of fear; it rebuked fear...survival is the only option: there are no viable applicants for my job! And so, because Obama Care was not yet in place and I needed to work so I had health insurance I traveled the nation to train nurses for the NCLEX exam; journeys G.d used to teach me how hard it is to do chemo and work full time as a single parent, how one income really is not enough and how much inequality exists in this nation whose poor I had never before encountered. That led to traveling as a speaker for National Health Care and engagement in the body politic that I never considered before until after the 2012 campaign came successfully to an end when the fear that nothing I would ever do would ever matter as much again; a point that made me say "What's next?" at the start of 5773. The answer was Rabbinical seminary with my ordination just days before President Obama left office. Now I fear not finishing the many works on my plate. I fear sloth. I fear giving into the distractions and I fear losing my edge. I fear my efforts to bring healing to my beautiful middle daughter will not be enough-that drugs will win, and, for good reason as she enters her 7th year of addiction, I fear her death. I fear her daughters will never see her as a mother again, for after 7 years they only know how to be afraid for her, and cry for her and feel abandoned by her. And as I work to bring our wonderful concept of T'shuvah the guiding principle in American Justice,with leaders from cities across the nation coming here to recreate their own systems, I fear every phone call in the night; every knock on the door. For as a chaplain I have made those calls and knocked on doors just like mine. The Only Option is Survival....miracles happen....healing happens. Tomorrow on the summit of our Yom Kippur hike I am ready to let my fear go, to loosen and soften my clenched fists of control and let G.d take control. I must. I can do nothing less than trust the One Who Makes Mountains Rise from the Sea, because He has also saved my children and I so many times before. So just as I did when I pled with Hashem to spare my child's life, and He said "No", and as I did when I begged The Master of the Universe to recreate the laws of cellular biology and remove the cancer from my beloved one, and He said "No" I will offer my plea to the Source of Love, that my precious daughter would become healed and strong and whole once again with utter confidence, like that of our ancestors who called out "Alvenu Malkenu" knowing all that matters is that we stay open to His answer when it is "Yes."
I’m scared to pursue the projects I get ideas for because I have a very banal fear of failure, and of people thinking my ideas are silly or otherwise not worthwhile. I need to find a way to accept that these are real possibilities and that I should do things I care about anyways.
My fear, and it is subconscious, is of not creating something to the standard I know I can. Perhaps it is a "fear of success" as I've fashioned the problem before, maybe here. I actually want to write a book about how my "fear" seems different than others (yes, it is also "writing a book," and lack thereof, that makes this fear so obvious to me--or at least, has brought it to the surface), because it seems inverted. The example I've been using this year is this. My yoga instructor--and the whole wide world these days--says some version of this sometimes: Don't be afraid. You can do it. You can do anything you want to. You're good enough. "You're stronger than you think you are." And this always rings false to me. It rings false, and now I sort of laugh about it, because I just want to shout out in those situations: "Um, no, I'm pretty sure I think I'm stronger than I really am. What sort of good advice to you have FOR ME?" Lately, I've been noticing that I've let this hurt me in other, even more convoluted ways: I've always dimmed my light (for my mother), turned my eyes down (for my mother), and NOW, coming off of this past dastardly decade, I think I just think, Nah, I think I'll just watch TV. NOT me. So, for this coming year: I'm going to find my soul and make friends with Her, I'm going to honor my body and thank her.
Leaving TMMI MS. I've found such a high level of satisfaction that I fear I'll never recreate it in NC. I talk about openly in the hopes that paths of resolution will appear. Some paths are already brewing.
I am afraid of being judged and found to be wrong. This fear keeps me from finishing my books, and makes everything I do take longer because I have to check and recheck, and proofread again, ad infinitum. Proposed solutions: set timer or procrastinate so that there is a finite amount of time to complete the task; let it go if it's 'good enough' -- the perfect is the enemy of the good.
The fear of addiction to coffee. Stop using it. Never on an empty stomach.
Believing in myself and my talents. It limited me to the point that I had succumbed to working for corporations that were lining the pockets of their already very rich shareholders. I’ve already let it go. I’m right in the midst of this transformation and it is a moment-by-moment process. It’s very hard. It feels good, but scary. Something from nothing is the formula. It’s up to me. By living it and just doing it, I will overcome the fear.
I am afraid of success. I am afraid of having too much money. I am afraid of being found out to be a fraud (in money, and love). It's been a bit hard to see these fears clearly, but now that I do, I can face all of her fully with all the love in my heart. It's Yom Kippur today, the 19th of September 2018. I atone for my lack of integrity around money, love, and friends/family. I have stolen money. I have spent money that wasn't mine. I have made money and not paid people back when it was more than possible. I have spent money that I knew I couldn't afford. I have given away money to people who didn't deserve my generosity. I have blown through massive amounts of money without regard or respect for my budget or my future. And, I forgive myself these painful, sometimes disastrous, and always self hurting behaviours and actions. Well actually, I have yet to forgive myself, but this is exactly what I'm going to accomplish this year. A blank love, money/financial freedom slate. One that says, "Yes, you have acted without integrity, and I love you still. Yes, you have acted immorally, illegally and disrespectfully, and I love you still. Yes, all of these painful, ugly and illegal actions are true, and now you have the integrity, morals, and respect for what is just and good, to move in the ocean of financial wealth and freedom, and to be loved and love all the way, with ease, and an exceptionally clear conscience and knowledge that you are good enough." My tapping script would be: Even though I have been without integrity for decades around love, and money, I love myself deeply and I believe that I am already forgiven, and can move forward in all ways, with love, integrity and joy.
I definitely have had a fear of the unknown. I think this was exacerbated by my need to refine ideas and understand things. I'm seeing that just because something I'm experiencing is novel it doesn't need to be scary or intimidating. It can also be exciting or a good learning experience.
I have a huge fear of failure. This has limited me all of my life, I keep getting stuck and sabotaging myself because of it. I want to let this fear go, I want to be more confident, I need to prove to myself that I am able to achieve things. I know it is something I try to face year after year. Sometimes it overwhelms me, and sometimes I can overcome it. I want to be able to control it as much as I can.
I have been afraid of sharing my writing with others and it has limited me as far as becoming a travel writer. I plan to push through this fear and send my writing to editors by following the advice I received at the recent workshop!
I have a fear of not accomplishing all that much in my life. I constantly worry that I what I do is not that meaningful or unique and that my work in teaching French is not all that effective. My lack of promotion at Equal Exchange and failure to survive the year of fellowship at Fenix shook my confidence. I sometimes think I am good at the things I do but the next moment I doubt myself. This fear, or lack of confidence, makes it hard for me to change and is a source of unhappiness at times. Working with Denise the career counselor I got a lot of good ideas for moving forward, just trying some things, and believing that I am capable. She also helped me feel like I am talented, have a lot of skills and resources, and could be successful doing a variety of things.
I am fearful of being alone. Sometimes I think that limited me because it has rushed me in places I shouldn’t have rushed and other times has made me feel like I needed to settle. This year I am going to recognize that it is better to be happy being alone because I AM ENOUGH. I am worthy of my own love and I am enough. I don’t need to be scared of being alone because sometimes that is amazing.
A fear that I have is that I am afraid I won't ever have a close relationship with my mum and my family. I feel like I am busy with work, and I don't seem to get along with my sister - it's limited me because I am so afraid that I'm going to be questioned and judged because I don't agree with one thing, or disagree with another thing... I don't know what my plan is on letting it go. I keep trying to... I can't change my family. I love them too much.
Hard to pick just one... but I'm afraid to go 100% when it comes to singing. I can't emote because I'm scared out what might come out. But I need to find a way around it, or break through it... if I really have to.
One of my fears is feeling like Ive failed in money and work. Its limited my creativity and open mindedness in moving towards living a well balanced life and embracing the mystery of how a job change and more abundance will emerge. I plan on letting it go by taking my new apartment with a roommate (ROOMMATE) for a less rent and socializing freeing up my time, a bit to spend on other projects and working at the studio taking a hit for the money but a priceless opportunity to let things roll where they may. and foremost, meditating.
I used to have the fear of causing distress through my own success but now I know that through my own success I can help many people and cause no distress at all. So this year I am going to celebrate my successes!! Once again, thank you to Marissa Peer for these breakthrough insights.
A fear that has held me back is the fear of initiating conversations. It has limited me by giving me no friends because I couldn't branch out. This negatively impacted me by making me feel alone and unneeded. I've been like these for 5 years and I need to change for the better. I plan on overcoming this by starting by talking to one person new and once I get comfortable talking to them, I will try new people.
My fear of being “successful”. That’s the heavy one. I’m going to speak plainly to the Family. Might let the nanny care works place now that I’m a little nervous about this – – get some encouragement from them, or some clarity have to be more comfortable with messing up!
Fear of death causes thoughts of unecessary worry. I will read some books and do some meditations. I will just let it be.
Fear of appearing stupid has been a fear of mine. I know it's considered a bad word - stupid - but the idea of getting myself in a situation where I should "know better" or made a poor decision or shown up ill-prepared has made me tentative and perhaps overly cautious in life. Moving forward, I will permit myself to more moments of "silly" and "spontaneity" .. but within safe parameters!
I'm afraid of getting in trouble. I am going to focus on telling the truth, and dealing with the trouble if and when it comes.
Not being good enough as a nurse especially is the cath lab. But the question is...what am I doing to overcome that fear? I need to go back to the basics. Relearn and brush-up on my skills. The scariest thing is not knowing what to do during an emergency situation even though I know what to do but I think its my lack of confidence in myself. The next thing is I fear I may blowup on Stacy Tonne. I do not know why I let her get to me. She is a mean person. You just can not get through to her. I do not need her to like me but at least be civil and respectable. A simple smile goes a long way. Obviously, I have my issues to deal with when it comes to her. How do I overcome that...just be myself kindhearted self.
I have a fear that I will always want something different than I actually have - that I will never be satisfied with the goodness that exists. I have a fear that i will not be good enough parent.
I am terrified of going to the doctor or dentist for any sort of check-up or diagnostic, never mind treatment. I think about and dwell on this fear, and the impact that it's had on my sense of my self and in determining my family structure, every day. It has so much power over me. My goal this year is to show myself that it will have less power over me as a reality than as something anticipated.
Fear of death. I will not overcome it. It comes to us all. I think of the fictional, but fact-based, obituary for Charles Foster Kaine. What would the obit writer say about me? I hope I will leave a legacy of more than "Rosebud"...
So this move and career change is going to be huge. We've got some things in motion, but it will be very easy to lose momentum. The status quo is to stay put or at least move very slowly, we can't, we just can't. We need to make sure we continue to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone. Any chance we get we need to commit ourselves to making progress towards our goal. Whether that's taking vacations to scout out our possible areas, or quitting a job, or getting pre-approved. We need to continue to push ourselves.
I am afraid that I am too old to make significant life changes. In my current position at work, my benefits are quite good. I am wondering how much I am willing to sacrifice to keep them. I am also thinking about retirement and wondering how I can afford to retire. I am afraid of being without means and dependent on others. I want to spend more time managing my finances and have a plan that gives me confidence about the future. I want to still push the limits, take risks and feel the surge of energy and freedom in discovering new found strength or resilience.
I'm desperately afraid of being alone. Of experiencing life alone, of not having someone to bounce ideas off of, of not having someone to grow old alongside. I think this fear and dislike has prevented me from exploring more. I don't like going to bars alone (I mean, who does), so it's limited my ability to meet new people - one big catch 22. I'm afraid of missing out on fun activities, which I'm trying hard to let go of. I'm working on listening to myself more in order to figure out what it is that I want and not what those around me want. I think being more in touch with myself and honoring my needs/desires will help me live in a less stressed, more at ease, and more confident way. I want to be okay being alone, adventuring into new spaces, and trying to fail forward.
I fear that our politics in the U.S. will not change after November's election. I fear how Trump, perhaps a wounded animal, will lash out and create even more havoc than he already has. I fear that the activism I see bursting forth this year will recede, like a wave that recedes from the beach. No! It must not be so.
I fear for my mom. As Norma said, "changes come when we are least ready for them". I know where the disease is going to take her and fear to see her stuck with a clear mind in a body that she cannot operate. I plan on visiting her more and trying to talk to her as much as I can. It's going to be a hell of a ride, and by the time this is opened next year, I think that the situation may be dire.
The way trying to arrange just one day off has been such a hassle, I am afraid I may not be able to get the two weeks off I'll need to take Stan back east for his daughter's wedding next fall. if I absolutely have to I could quit, but that has its own fears attached. I'm trusting that it will work out, but still: Oy.
This year, I was scared of talking to/interacting with people. Next year, I will just do it. Honestly, it almost is never actually bad.
I don’t think it’s a fear per se, but in the last 12 months I’ve been limited by poor work place environments that’ve really stressed me out. I’m positive I’ve made changes that mean it’s not going to be an issue in the (at least) immediate future. However, I’m also working on switching off from work outside work hours. Rehashing things just makes you more stressed half the time.
I fear that I'm too specialized to really excel in my career. I want to take this year to really think about where I should go next careerwise.
Fear of not being good enough. Knowing that whatever I produce won't be good enough so why even really try turned into a really self-defeating cycle. Trying to let go by turning my focus to producing different things in my next job. Things I can be good at. So that I can start a healthier cycle.
Imposter syndrome has limited me more recently but I feel like I am letting go - with new direction and "product CMO" title. I also fear becoming an alcoholic TBH. Max and I are so similar and honestly his track record is just more extreme because he's male. It's really interesting. So I'd like to just remain cognizant of this and try out some alternatives. I don't know, it's such a tricky thing in modern adult city life. I never drank in Boston, really. Here it's part of "what you do" and I like altered states. Maybe take a cue from Max. Let's keep an eye on this.
The fear that I am a ダメ人間(dame ningen, or useless person) keeps rearing its head for me. I was unsure of my career direction in grad school, and spent a long while searching for work after graduating. I fell into something that I never imagined myself doing (bookkeeping) at the recommendation of a friend and was really happy for a while. Then things went sour with my boss and I was essentially told that I could do nothing right. Coworkers assured me that the boss was power tripping at me, but it fed into that idea that all my skill was useless and I would never have a stable life. I am working to overcome this fear by taking steps to pursue a career as a graphic designer or something that combines creativity and education for young people. Spending more time doing what I actually want to do instead of forcing myself into work that I don't want will certainly make me feel better about my life outlook.
Fear of disappointing people. I need to let it go in order to focus my energy towards things that are really priorities for me. I really can’t spread myself too thin as a working mom.
I fear backsliding. That I’ll push myself too hard again and set myself back where I started or worse. To overcome it I’m going to gradually add responsibilities to my plate, checking in with people around me to make sure I’m not overreaching.
I feel like I've gotten through a lot of fears in the past year. I think maybe one I'm still struggling with is the idea that something has to be perfect or it's not worth it. It doesn't hold me back cuz I can still do things that are imperfect but when there's something I want to ace it can really take it out of me. I think in particular I'm going to have to think about that when it comes to my thesis. The only way to confront it is head on so here we go.
I am afraid that, as I age, I will not be able to take care of myself. I can imagine choosing to die because I can no longer afford to live. I try to remain present and not to fret over the always uncertain future.
I have feared that there is not enough for me and I will be left out for as long as I can remember - my parents fear. I'm leaving that behind and letting go. If there isn't, so be it but I'm going to find out by diving ahead. I think the universe loves me and I'm going to live by that instead.
There is a lot less I fear in life, I trust it will usually work out. All fear is limiting, making life and my world smaller, which is the opposite of what I strive for. Having worked on my issues that caused me to marry my ex, nothing is that bad or anything I can't handle. Even the horrible marriage taught me many lessons. The universe went good to happen in my life and it will happen; while it won't only be sunshine and roses, I will be taken care of.
I’ve feared not knowing all the details and being able to avoid the pitfalls of my parents through knowledge. It’s made me focus more on them than on me, which has limited my entire life. I’d like to stop worrying about them and start thinking about me.
I am afraid of dying, particularly in car crashes. Almost anytime I'm in a car, I think about ways an accident can occur. I think about this so frequently it's become normal to me. But it's not normal, and it brings a level of pessimism and neurosis to my life that is not serving me. In terms of letting it go, I guess my strategy will just be to continue to remind myself that things are out of my control and to enjoy every minute of life because that's what we have right now.
That environmental collapse will happen during my lifetime or during the lifetime of my children. It makes me want to not have children, because I'm so afraid of what nature will be like for them. There is nothing to do but to keep on advocating for the ecology and doing everything I can to help. They say the damage we've done has now reached an irreparable state. Sometimes that makes me want to just lay down and give up.
I have always had a fear of not pleasing others and have made many bad decisions just to make others happy. I feel as I enter midlife, probably just from experience, that I don't need such strong approval from so many people. I'll try more to do what keeps me happy and share that happy/content attitude with others. I think it will make me a better person and better relationships with my family and friends.
This year, I overcame a fear of spiders. Well, not all spiders, because I really hate them, but I've had one living in my bathroom window sash for most of this year, and I've come to terms with him being there. I haven't seen him lately, so I hope he's gone now, but just knowing that I can co-exist if I have to is a better feeling. For this year, I just need to overcome my laziness, and explore whether it is based in fear? Also, this whole #MeToo issue, especially with Kavanaugh is bringing up memories of my experience, which occurred with an adult when I was in Jr. High. So, do things that happened in high school matter? YES! It matters to me!
I never think that I'm good enough. Despite years & years of medical & surgical (during which, by most objective measures, I did well...not always #1, but I think I excelled) I still have pretty significant impostor syndrome. And as if that weren't ridiculous enough, I think I use it to self-sabotage. So this year, I want to practice more self-love, get off of social media more, and live the successful life that I've built for myself.
Perhaps that I'm not deserving; that I'm not worthy on some level. It must be holding me back because I struggle so to get out of my own way. I think Mel Robbins will become my best friend and her advice and approach feels very relevant to these issues that I struggle with.
I fear rejection and am overcoming that fear by putting myself out there (submitting my work) more often ... I fear cats and have overcome that fear by learning to love a nippy cat... I fear my body breaking down ans am overcoming that fear by staying active.
I still get a bit anxious with change. I particularly find driving to new destinations a worry...so have to push myself. I know I can do it. I do in general feel more settled and safe and fear has only a small part in my life which I like.
My fear is that I won't find a career opportunity in my field and that I've peaked due to age discrimination. Trader Joes here I come? I love the store, but it wasn't my plan for a decade or wo.
I am afraid of shame. I do all that I can as to not share or try things, so I should not feel ashamed. Maybe I won't let it go fully or even overcome it - but maybe I will try to embrace it. I changed a great deal in the past year with regards to not only feeling my feelings, but also sharing my feelings, but I do know that I am also still quite guarded and there are parts that are still hard to share, although they are not necessarily more "personal". So it is in learning to trust more and allowing myself to go where it might take me.
Not being enough. Letting people down. Not being seen to be coping. I'm just going to keep on keeping on and hope it can be overcome.
I'm afraid to regress. Right now, I really feel like I'm progressing and I do not want to go back. But it is a possibility because I have already lived it. To help me overcome this fear, I think the best is to continue with my two moments "Listening". Today they are 9 minutes and 30 seconds. J'ai peur de reculer. En ce moment, j'ai vraiment l'impression de progresser et je ne veux pas revenir en arrière. Mais c'est une possibilité car je l'ai déjà vécu. Pour m'aider à surmonter cette peur, je crois que le mieux est de continuer avec mes deux moments "À l'écoute". Aujourd'hui, ils sont de 9 minutes et 30 secondes.
lol. I fear vulnerability more than anything. I mistake it for shame and I let it define me. I walk around with a heavy guard up and it prevents me from meeting people, exploring new places and taking a risk without overthinking. I plan to work on this with continued counseling, baby steps into the uncomfortability, and allowing myself grace to be fallible, vulnerable, and human.
Last year I said I was afraid of being alone. I'm not afraid, but more depressed and at times angry. Angry that it feels like the universe forgot about me. Frustrated because no matter if you decide you don't want to be single, it's not up to you. Depressed because quite frankly it's lonely. Angry that Im in a rather unwelcoming city with few options to change my situation. And I really don't know how to let go of that anger at the moment.
I'm afraid of completing things--particularly work projects--putting them out for feedback, getting negative feedback that I won't like, and then being forced to feel like a failure. By delaying (procrastinating) any form of completion, it means the work is never worrisome. And yet, it's required I finish projects for my career. I'm hoping I can do a better job in other skillsets I'm learning in therapy that would help me be able to overcome a fear of finishing so I can achieve my career successes.
I fear having left important things undone, and, worse (perhaps) of completely missing something I was supposed to accomplish. This could be physical (a repair, a bill, an ongoing maintenance issue, watering a plant, completing a task, etc.), social/emotional (communication with a friend, a relative, a colleague; maintaining a habit, etc.), professional (following up on potential business, keeping up with billing, website, outreach, licensing, education, etc.), spiritual (maintaining a practice, prayers, etc.). Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? I get overwhelmed often by the vastness of what I have committed to in my consciousness and what I have left undone (as much as I have actually done, there is always so much more). How to let it go or overcome it? A part of my approach, into which I am leaning during this period of teshuvah, is to accept help in those areas where it makes sense. Another is to simply begin, wherever I am, without judgment, and to do SOMETHING. My wish, plan, dream is to have a rough system in place that will allow me to make realistic choices about what can be accomplished, without cutting out dreams that might be considered unrealistic.
Fear of failure and not being the person I need to be for my family. It has limited me in my body, being, balance, and business – especially my business. I WILL NOT let it limit me anymore. I have a clear message and purpose to deliver and can't have anything telling me I can't. Constant meditation will support me and daily actions that will move the needle forward toward growth, abundance, and prosperity.
Here on the verge of 50, I find myself wrestling with fears about growing older and the inevitable losses that come with age: memory, energy, drive, health. I fear the loss of my eldest and the change it will create in our family when he goes off to college. I will deal with both of these the same way I deal with most fears, by focusing on gratitude and what is still good (cone not crap) and by being gentle with myself until the fears fade under the bright light of my core optimism, enthusiasm and positivity.
I have a number of fears at this moment. Work taking over my life. Gray hairs sprouting from my head. Stress eating at my stomach and my mind. Being a bad manager at work. Not having enough time for my friends. Not being close enough to my family. My parents aging, something bad happening suddenly to them. Putting up barriers to relationships, or conversely, letting my guard down too quickly because I'm tired of keeping it up and always protecting myself. I don't know how to overcome or let go of these fears other than trying to stay present and mindful.
I don't know which fear is greater. My fear of growing older or my fear of never finding a partner. Or perhaps the fear is more accurately the fear of growing older alone. My fear of growing older isn't in the oldness part. Though I do not look forward to all the real 'growing older' stuff like weakened bones, worse memory than I currently have, aches and pains. I do delight in the idea of growing old and not dying young. I suppose I fear looking older. It's a real combination between childhood fill in the blanks for the lack of loving parents (that in it of itself requires a lengthly thesis) and just being female. The first involved me trying to understand why I was ignored and felt invisible and the logical childlike conclusion that beautiful children can't help being adored. Then followed my disgust with this fear and rebelling against the notion whilst being aware that the fear was very much alive. The second is because I see it all around me.. Not so much in film and media affecting my perceptions of the ideals of female beauty, but that I have met too many men affected by the perceptions brought on by social media and quick date sites that have heightened the illusion that superior beauties are accessible and plentiful. My fear is that I have limited time to find a man willing to take me with children if my lines get too deep and my under eyes go puffy. I know that I am relatively attractive and am not so much afraid that my lack prevents me. But I know that my being a single mother of three children is a major barrier that has and will make otherwise interested men wary. And I'm afraid that they will have to find me so overwhelmingly attractive to get passed the beginning dating stages to even discover they like me enough even with children. And I'm afraid that the more time that passes, the less likely I am to find a good man willing to even try. Because when you can swipe and click and fall under the illusion of endless choice young, beautiful, childless women, why make life harder for yourself when you don't have to. I don't know what I can do about this fear. It seems a pointless fear and a pointless overcoming. I do love myself, so no work on that and I am unwilling to consider botox or breast lifts, even if I could afford it. It's one of those things I will have to acknowledge and pay little attention to. It limits me because I let it depress me sometimes and I search for confirmation that I am not there yet. And that is through attention from men. Just the pleasure I get, though I pretend not to notice, when a man finds me attractive. I disapprove of shallow ego stroking, but then I also disapprove of the smug pretentiousness in thinking I'm above this very human delight. And I will keep growing older, I cannot control modern dating nor overcome my childhood on a couch, though I indulge plenty. I suppose what I can do is give my 'right man' some credit in having depth and sincerity than my fear is giving him. I can only acknowledge my fear and then give it as little credence as it deserves by growing older with pleasure.
I have a big fear of being alone, of never finding the right person, and of living a sad, single life. If I find my person, that would help! I’m not sure how I can let it go... it’s so central to my life :(
my fear is of retiring and not having any savings. i am still tied to jobs and employers. i constantly worry about money every month and am living paycheck to paycheck. i am terrified of being homeless and destitute. i will overcome it by killing the debt and saving.
I fear the unknown. I have learned that I hate change, particularly change that I have no control over, such as having to leave England (where I've been studying for the past 5 years). I didn't want to leave a job I loved and I didn't want to move back in with my parents. I need to learn that things change, that I can't control everything and that change, even when I don't want it is necessary. I let hope 2019, things are less certain.
I fear isolation as we age. Our friends are moving away or have died. Who will be concerned if we are silent for a few days? Also I fear the status of our country in the world and the mediocrity of our governing executives.
i fear that part of me has died and is not coming back. i’m afraid to look at my new half-dead self. i avoid people i know, because i hate seeing their Pity-Eyes acknowledging me as a corpse. i am afraid to meet new people because i am not interested in someone who wants to be friends with a shadow of myself. like all fears, in order to overcome it, i have to face it. part of me has, in fact, died. but which parts exactly? and with that cleared out, what is there now room for? i have been too afraid to look. it may not be as bad as i thought; it could be much worse. but i’ll never know if i keep hiding from the fear. in the coming year, i want to at least take a look. then i’ll have more information. then i can make decisions from an informed place. which is the strongest vantage point.
I am fearless! I will continue to live my life with gusto and enjoy every day of my last in my 30s.
I'm not really fearful of much, but I do get a bit concerned sometimes: Will my daughter (and son-in-law) be OK if she (they) can't get pregnant? Am I really up to building a new house? Will my new business succeed? In the end, man plans, G-d laughs...
I have fears deep in my body about gaining weight and not being worthy if I do so. I have managed to wrap fear around weight gain into every possible negative belief in my life. It is so strange. The fear is stored all over my body. My quads tighten up when I think about it, then my stomach. I obsessively think about ways to lose weight when I am worried about anything. Letting go of this fear has been on my list of things to do for decades now. I make progress every year. But today, this month, I am facing a big nugget of it and seeing it in places I never thought it would root - around money and career. Noticing it, seeing where it has spread, is the first step to letting it go for me. Then sitting with the fear and discomfort, really feeling it, is the next step. This is particularly difficult because I am so good at avoiding it. Then disclosing it, which is also hard because it's embarrassing. And then do it all over again . . .
I think I'm afraid of chaos to the point that I cannot prevent it. And I'm afraid of confrontation to the point that I am angrier with how things have festered than with the original issue. I want to be more peaceful and more easy.
That my offerings, both commercial and interpersonal will be rejected and I will see that as a rejection of all of me. I will meditate more on impermanence.
Fear that I will fail and loose all the money that I will ever have and then I'll be forever trapped. Intensive therapy perhaps? Maybe CBT? I really need to move beyond that and trust my instincts and abilities.
At the moment, the fear that comes to mind is the fear of letting go. What will happen if I don’t have as tight control over various aspects of my life? What will happen if I let my teachers plan their own lessons? If I don’t do tasks around the house? If I let the kids take responsibility for things? I can try to set up systems and help those around me learn to help set them up for success. I can focus on a few things that matter the most to me and decide which things to let go. And I can meditate and be mindful and be present.
I fear that I can't break out of the habits and vices that are holding me back. I plan to overcome them by being more open about them, and by taking them day by day instead of trying to view conquering them as an absolute.
I'm afraid of living my fullest truest self. Why? No idea. I'm afraid of failing. but it's something that happens every day. I plan on letting it go incrementally by taking small steps to bring daily joy into my life.
I fear not being able to be active or to take care of myself. I plan to become more fit so I can prolong my active years.
I still have the fear that something won't be done perfectly, and it keeps me from beginning or finishing a project. I'm hopeful that naming that fear, recognizing I'm prone to it, and making a conscious effort to JUST GET GOING will push me past it.
I am sometimes afraid that we will not have enough money to live comfortably as we do now in our retirement years. This fear makes me waste time seeking money making opportunities when I have several perfectly good jobs and so does my spouse. I plan to let it go by consolidating my skill set into one position that pays me what I’m worth and developing some routine to my life.
I fear conflict and people who disregard my feelings. In the past I have tried to stand up for myself or tell loved ones what I really want and I am ignored or even worse, cast out. I don’t know how to deal with it. I am generally someone who helps to make others wishes a reality. I fear that no one ever wants to do the same for me unless it is in direct compliance with their own wishes. I fear that I will always back down and back away and will never feel I have overcome peoples jealousies, competitiveness or desire to rule me.
I'll never have a grand, adventurous, positively exciting life again. I'll overcome it by letting this fear go. My best moments in life have been when I've embraced myself fully and said yes to opportunities no matter how "crazy" or "random" to outsiders.
I am afraid to finally confront my parents about their rejection of me and my sexuality, about their refusal to come to the wedding and how much that hurt. I would like to let this go -- to talk to them about it before we have a baby.
fear of being alone? fear of being vulnerable? fear of becoming aunt sylvia...?
Social anxiety still lives for me and my inexplicable worry over intimacy with Karen is always in need of improvement. I am making strides, but closer connections with friends and family is always the goal.
I need to remember that I am lovable even when I'm not likable. It was easy to remember when I wasn't in a relationship, but harder to enact when I value the thoughts, feelings and opinions of those who I love so much. It is scary to say something that might be hurtful if I need to. It's scary when I'm thoughtless and hurt the feelings of someone who I love. I'm beginning to trust that I will still be loved, even if I'm not liked.
Failure. I worry about making mistakes with regards to how I try to deal with my children as well managing my employees and company. I try to deal with this by trying to better educate myself and also accepting that I can just do the best that I am able to do.
Fear of failure, the eternal dilemma. I hope to tackle this with renewed vigor this year and tidy for good, do more photography, and write, seriously,but I will not berate myself nor be disappointed if this doesn’t happen. One day at a time.
I’m limited not so much by fear as by concerns about health care and retirement income that I think are completely reasonable. I don’t feel financially well situated, and that limits a lot of my options. I’d really love to retire from my tech writer job, but right now doesn’t seem like a good time to do it, especially with the orange goon in the White House. I’m also concerned that Mark would make a huge ugly fuss if I tried to divorce from him. Again, I think that’s a reasonable concern. Although, other things I’ve been concerned about him freaking out about haven’t actually been a problem when it’s come down to it. (Me taking other lovers, having William over to the house.)
I am afraid of losing the balance between my need to effect change and be a good partner to my wife. I'm learning to leverage one role off the other by living in the moment, but it is exceptionally challenging to not let one bleed into the other.
I'm afraid of leading a meaningless or insignificant life. As a gifted child turned depressed adult, it's been a real wakeup call to realize I may not do anything all that special with my life. While it seems like this fear might motivate me, I find it actually paralyzes me. In the coming year, I plan to write more bad first drafts, apply to more opportunities, and experience more rejection. I want to practice forgiving myself for imperfection. My other fear is losing people I love, which is out of my control. But I can find meaning in my relationships and practice gratitude. On Rosh Hashanah, I went to a workshop on the Jewish practice of blessing others. I want to write down a blessing for someone else every day, both as a way of cherishing my relationships, and as a way to transform my envy of others into goodwill.
Maybe a fear of aging? Which is a pretty dumb fear because I can't change the fact that all people get older. And theoretically I want to be excited about getting older. It is an honour and a privilege to be able to spend more time on this planet with the people I love, doing the things that I enjoy. I generally am a person content with existence so why does aging make me grumpy? Part of it is certainly that it is an outward sign that life is getting shorter. And I am unlikely to be able to do ALLOFTHETHINGS. But there is no question that part of it is vanity and a dislike of my physical appearance. That is what I wish I could truly and completely let go of. The dislike I have of looking old(er). I'm working on letting this go and embracing my progress through the years but it is a challenge. I have been looking aging straight in the eyes for a few years now. Maybe a new approach, a way to overcome, would be to ignore it. To stop looking at every small detail so closely.
I am afraid of politics. I have stepped back from the conversation, released my ideals entirely because I see so many engulfedby their beliefs. Fundamentalisim is rampant, I am afraid of being taken up in its current. I am afraid I will loose my compassion to my anger. I hope to be peaceful and authentic as I advocate for those without a platform in this world.
I am always afraid that I have had my last success, and that it was a fluke anyway. Perhaps I have actually just been fooling people all this time about my intelligence and depth and capacity, and any minute the mask will be revealed. How to overcome this? No, seriously. Any advice?
The fear is running out of money. The plan would be to get one of my attempts to work.
I have a fear of missing something important that I need to do. Feeling behind, overwhelmed, and sometimes helpless has kept me from performing at my best. I plan to overcome it by using technology wisely to plan my time, prioritize my to do lists, and keep in touch with the people who are most important in my life. Relationships need to be a very high priority, and I need to be willing to reach out and accept help from those who are willing and able to help me.
I've come to the tough realization that I do not love myself and take care of myself as I should. I have motivated myself with fear and self-loathing. I am afraid to be seen for my true self because I'm afraid that deep down there is something unlovable about me. I'm working on cultivating self-love and authenticity and allowing myself to be seen.
I'm afraid of my own power. I've worked for a long time to establish myself as a person of power in my community, and only now do I realize that because of my ignorance of systemic racism and other oppressions, I've inadvertently caused harm. So, I'm afraid to use my own power, lest I use it in a way that causes more. My plan is to do drastic education and self-reflection, and to reconsider my place. If I have the privilege of power, I can't waste it out of fear, I need to reorganize so that I can use it for the most good.
I have a fear of religion. It has caused so much division, pain, and confusion. Especially seeing how it has changed my father. I hope to overcome that fear and really begin to ask questions again and seek answers.
my fear of staying in a relationship that hurts me. My fear of getting used to and accepting somethings that hurt me. My fear of not giving myself the peace and reward that I deserve and every human being deserves. My fear of losing my parents.
I have been uncomfortable being in the spotlight (whether it be public recognition for an achievement, speaking in public, or any other thing that puts me in the public eye). This year I am taking Improv classes to overcome this.
I fear that I am simply faking it, and that people will see through the bluff. I am planning on overcoming this in the year to come by continuing to deliver on my assignments and responsibilities day in and day out
I fear the way I want to (and naturally do) connect with others is not something others want. I plan to divest myself of non-reciprocal relationships to counteract the possibility that it is indeed so.
I'm afraid of having children. I'm not planning to let it go or overcome it in the coming year. I don't feel ready for it yet. We were just saying over dinner this evening that we're glad we're not young and that we don't want to be responsible for brining a new person into a world that has to deal with all the shite that young people face on the internet and in life. I'm sure there's a whole part of my brain and personality that isn't be exercised by my child phobia, but I'm happy for it to be dormant for the time being. Its time will come if it's meant to be. Everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end.
Man. I re-read my answer from last year and it was like I had written it again exactly one year later with not much changed except I’m more aware of it now. I’m crippled by the fear of being vulnerable and letting people into my life. It is to the point where probably think I’m socially awkward. Then I get into a social situation and all I can focus on is how withdrawn I am in a big group of people. I hope I can make strides this year to continue to break out of my shell.
I'm not a person of many fears. I am adventurous, yet cautious. I don't think my fears hold me back from enjoying what life has to offer. That being said, I think of a moment this summer when Maddie and Alex were visiting. Before they came, Alex and Maddie were FaceTiming and playfully wondered whether I have feelings. I'm not emotionless in any sense -- I often wear my joy on my face -- but I hold my cards close to my chest. It's hard to admit when I've fallen and what others can do to help me get back up. Alex wanted to engage in a "deep talk," and schemed with Maddie for me to reveal my feelings. After a mildly successful time, they high fived. I want to be more upfront about the way I feel, both with myself and others. I don't ever want to be an Adam Frank who projects his emotions so much that you feel bad not asking, but I also don't want to be a rock. I hope to better tell people how I'm feeling and be more assertive with my internal feelings. The journal I keep helps with that, as I strive to move beyond making it a daily log and digging into what moments in the day struck a chord.
I'm increasingly fearful of crowds. Part of it is just not liking being with so many people. It's stressful to be in a crowd and it's stressful to be in a situation where I have to make small talk with countless people. Part of it is the logistics - finding a parking spot, buying a ticket, even just the driving someplace. And lately, part of it is a total fear of something horrible happening. A shooting. A car plowing through a crowd. An unstable person who wants to do harm. It all terrifies me. I find so much comfort in being places with metal detectors and security guards lately. I can't live in fear, but sometimes it rules my life. I don't know how to overcome it. I don't know how to let it go. I know that I need to get out of my bubble. I just need a little push to take the first step.
I think I have the same issue as last year: commitment. I leave when the going gets . . . boring. I need to stop, because the moment I leave I can see the true impact I had on the community and place where I was before. That's what happened just a few weeks ago, and I don't want that to happen again. Maybe here, I'll be able to set up a home base and be able to move around more easily, to see more people, and to maintain my connections more fully.
I think one fear that I have is that we will never get this house clean. I need to just dig in and do it. And that is hard. Something that we need to do is just tackle it one task at a time, I think. Another deep fear I have is that Uncle John will die. He has a fast growing, malignant brain tumor. He is going to fight it, but finding the hope with in me that he will do anything other than pass is difficult. Maybe I'm wrong. Our God is a God of miracles and is so awesome. He could do it. Time will tell.
I should learn not to get sucked into bad situations by people - I shouldn't take too many things on, that aren't my concern. Also heights.
My biggest fear in my life always comes down to being mediocre or not being good enough. If you ask what "good enough" means, I honestly have no clue. I can become limited by this because I get in my head and overanalyze situations, sometimes to the point of paralysis where I don't act or sometimes to the point where I have caused so much stress and anxiety for myself I am tightly wound with no release. I have been practicing empathy for myself and giving myself grace so I hope I can remember these for myself when I am truly tested. This time I am going to be a mom so I can only imagine the wild ride and second guessing I will be doing.
I think I still have a bit of a fear of being wrong, a fear of not being the center of attention. Fear of being not included, of not being special. All of this is very rooted in ego, so trying to make sure that my value is firmly rooted internally (instead of achieved externally) seems really important
My fear is never recovering from the cancer treatment, and what I do is fight against it rather than surrender to it. I want to be invincible, but am not. I need to surrender to it and find the strategies to help me rather than being like the bee that flies again and again and again into the clear window believing that I'll get through it this time.
Fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of being incapable of being alone. Fear that the love I have found is fleeting. Fear that I’ll get over attached. Fear of letting go of my past and my attachments. Fear of saying goodbye to someone close. I’ll just keep trying to be in the moment, to be my best self in my relationships, and to live in the light.
I fear never becoming financially stable. Money is the single largest stressor in my life. In the coming year I'm going to do something to change that. Either going back to school, or finding a way to rebuild my photography business.
One fear that I have I think is rejection. I really like a guy right now but we only hang out on the weekends. I want to hang out more regularly but don't want to text him and ask because then there's the opportunity to say no and I'll be hurt/embarrassed. I can try to let go of that this year by reminding myself that I'll still be okay no matter what happens and knowing life is about taking risks.
ich habe angst davor alleine zu bleiben. dadurch versuche ich allen zu gefallen, und sage selten meine Meinung. Ich arbeite daran, meine Meinung zu sagen und meine Gefühle und Wünsche frei zu zugeben. ich nehme "weniger Rücksicht" auf andere: dadurch werde ich authentischer und bin nicht mehr von der Meinung anderer Abhängig
I am afraid of having reached my mental capacity at work. I plan to push forward and continue learning because I can always reach more potential.
After a year of such loss and heartbreak it felt difficult to imagine that we would ever be allowed happiness again. I was so scared that I didn't allow myself to look forward or to get my hopes up about the future. I've learnt that sorrow and fear is a part of life. You don't let it go, you just learn to accept it and 'learn to live'. 'No matter what anyone says there will come a day for joy. Fear will be a welcomed friend, 'cause when you’re fearless, it’s the end. There’s a choice you must be making, and its simple if you try - You can learn to live with the fear you feel, or you can learn to die' - This. (Lyrics by Stephen Kellogg)
I touched this year the white hot overload of annihilation fear, and learned that I will never go back to it. That devastating things will not happen when I express my creativity. I survived it with resilient growth. Having learned this wisdom hard forged, I move through that fear distortion, look at it, and know that it serves no one. Practice by showing up daily, showered and fully alive, to create and share my offerings through the supportive sangha/haverah of Frontline Arts.
For the last few days I've had this fear that I've missed my life. I've not planned any of my career trajectory, so I'm now in a terminal job but not financially ready to retire. My marriage has been dragging on for years in a very unsatisfying status, and leaving now would only make my financial situation worse. Besides, at my age, I would probably end up alone for the rest of my life. (which wouldn't be so bad) I have dreams of going to law school, but again, can't reasonably afford to and to take the pay hit it would deal out. How to plan for it? No idea. Look for satisfaction outside work and married life, I guess. Or look for another job. And keep my mind open to other options.
I'm terribly afraid of failure. It has limited me in so many ways: limited me from taking risks in my personal and professional life, limited me from being honest about what I really want because I'm afraid it could lead to failure. Currently, it is limiting me from breaking free of my romantic relationship because I'm afraid that breaking up will brand me as a "relationship failure" and broadcast to all my friends and family that I have failed miserably. I don't know how to let go or overcome this fear. Maybe I need to work with a therapist. Somehow, some way, I need to convince myself that what I define as "failure" really isn't and that living in fear of failure is so much worse than actually "failing."
My fear or discomfort with talking with people I don't know, even people I know are at an event which shows they feel similar to me on some issue. To others I may seem unfriendly or stuck up but I am just very uncomfortable speaking to those I don't know. The way to overcome it is to trust in God and just say something. It usually goes very well.
I have a fear of burning out in the next year. I plan to overcome by continuing to build systems of support, accountability and love in my community
I fear that we may never get to New Mexico and I may never appear on Jeopardy! I have to just rest and not focus on these so much. I cannot rush them. They will come! Be patient. Focus on what I need to focus on.
Arguably my biggest fear is not getting what I want, which leads to my desire for immediate gratification. If I don't get it now, whatever "it" may be, I fear that it will not be there for me later. And this is a big problem for me. It's the reason I don't save any money. It's the reason I can't lose weight. It's the reason I don't engage more fully in AA. "If I don't take time for myself to relax and do nothing right now, when will I have time to do that?" I don't have a course of action to work on letting this go. I've started to re-frame some of these thoughts. For example, when I order out, I think about how this would be an opportunity to make a better decision toward my weight-loss goal. "If I don't start making better decisions right now, when will I?" Perhaps that will translate into action and concrete behavior change in the coming months.
Specifically a fear I have is driving. I'm 32 years old and I don't drive, I don't even have my L plates. It seems too scary and too hard. I'm afraid of trying it and finding out that I can't do it, or getting my licence and finding that I'm just overwhelmed behind the steering wheel. It has really limited me... can't go on bush adventures on my own, I miss out on social events, I can't pursue interests like meditation or fitness or cooking classes. I feel hamstrung. How to let go or overcome it? I honestly don't know. I keep making excuses as to why I don't take the first steps, and I can't rely on the old 'I'll just do it' to make it happen. I think the next step is to do what I do when I am usually really stuck on something and my friends/family can't help, which is to raise it with my therapist. We can do some CBT work so I understand more clearly what's holding me back. Maybe then I'll be in a better position to have a plan for overcoming. I think I have been so caught up in the end and how far away it seems. I think I need to realise, hey, if driving really is as awful and expensive and costly and draining as I fear, I don't have to do it. I can stick to public transport and bike and uber and walking. I just need to take a few steps - even just one - and see if I feel like taking another.
Fear of being inauthentic? I often fear being overwhelmed with responsibility. I fear partnerships because I believe I will end up with most of the burden of work. It limits my marriage, my friendships, and translates into my tendency not to keep my involvement on the fringe of anything. I think I can help this by seriously prioritizing my stands- pick where I want to go and say no to the rest.
I'm scared of everything, I think. Mostly I'm scared on behalf of (or for) my son, that he will come to irreparable harm. It limits me in some ways but I don't resent that; it just comes with parenthood. They change and ebb as he grows, and hopefully by this time next year he'll know enough about, say, road traffic to fear it.
I'm not sure if it's a fear. Procrastination is a major character flaw. Laziness. Inertia. Overcoming? Plan? Sounds lofty and grand. At some point, I stopped making New Year's resolutions. They were always so impossibly grand. On the other hand, as I get older, I am running out of time to do all the self-improvement that I have put off to 'someday.' Baby steps. I will try to alter small bits. Cut back on amounts. In general, what I eat is okay, it's the quantity. I need to write a bit every day. Or 4 times a week. After this vacation, time for tightening things up. A bit. Something sustainable over the long haul. We'll see next year.
The fear of not being good enough. I think I will likely continue to struggle with this one. I know that there are people better at what I do than I am, but that I am also a lot better than many people at what I do, and these are the people who need me to keep doing it. I have to keep reminding myself of that and keep doing my work to prove to myself that it's good.
The fear of pain has held me back a lot - wrist pain in Yoga, foot pain from trying to jog or walk a lot, neck and back stiffness in general. These aches keep me from a more physically active life, which is what I really want. Instead of avoiding activity to avoid pain, I want to work on finding safe and painless ways of increasing these habits so I may enjoy the movement aspect of my daily life.
I am of course afraid that my cancer will return. I fear that if that happens, I'll be unable to keep living in the present and become more anxious and focused instead on trying to battle something that can't be battled, that I'll get focused on the struggle rather than on living my life right now. I fear what will happen to Val or what it will be like for her if something happens to me. I don't have a plan for how to let this fear go, other than to see it as the obstacle that is the way. I have to go through it, turn into it, talk to my fear and in some way, befriend my fear so that I can learn what it has to teach me.
despite the thoughts of slowing down the dearth of work in my practice at the moment is pretty worrying ... what to do about it is another matter ... pretty soon say a couple of months i will have to take it seriously and make some decisions about my practice, earning ability etc
My fear is pretty much the same as last year, and nothing has really changed on that front. I am concerned about job security and the ability to find something that allows me to continue living in New York City where Drea has a great job. Again, I have little control over this, all I can do is to apply anywhere and everywhere that I see a job and hope for the best, but that is pretty disconcerting.
I continue to fear failure. I don't want to try and fail as my heart will break and I don't think I can stand that again. I continue to Let it go and will practice regular meditation and yoga, as well as allowing running to be fun and not a chore where I have specific times to hit.
Fear of not living up to expectations and failing, letting down myself and others.Fearful of new things, especially that require me to take physical or emotional risks.
I have a fear of not being able to support my wife and I financially in the future. Plan and control my finances as soon as I know my expenditure.
I fear of not living up to standards; but at the same time I fear not being myself. Of losing my identity to an imitation of other people. I fear losing my adventure, my playfulness, my spontaneity. I fear being limited, being boxed up and forgotten. I fear being left behind while others travel ahead. To overcome? Well, it's hard enough to just admit to it! But I suppose by having fun. By going on spontaneous adventures, and hikes, and concerts, and to the symphony on Sundays. Overcome by enjoying the things I enjoy unashamedly and undaunted and not caring what others think of the things I like or do.
I never feel good enough. I try to push people away or avoid situations because I feel like my presence is a chore to them. I am worthy. I am valuable. This is what I want to work on and always remember.
Ahora mismo no conseguir un trabajo que me guste es un reto, pero sobre todo, el darme cuenta que tengo habilidades para aplicarlas en contextos diferentes al jurídico y no tener soporte educativo sino experiencial. Espero de algún modo poder prepararme en esta nueva área que me gusta a través de cursos en línea, hasta que consiga una beca o me pueda pagar una maestría
I have been afraid to listen to my feelings and act on them. Instead I have focused on making other people happy. It serves me well much of the time, but it leaves me feeling lost and exhausted. I plan to develop a meditation practice and tune in to myself so I can begin to bring my full self into my life.
The fear of trusting a new partner. It has set limits in my personal life since I cannot truly free myself with one. I believe the with right person we will find the way to overcome this fear.
this question was the hardest for me to answer. i think i want to keep my fears i have a fear of - intimacy, connection, communication, vulnerability. overwhelming people i'm afraid of liking aloneness too much i'm afraid i wont be good at what i want to do, or that i dont really want to do it
I'm afraid of being alone forever, of never finding a loving, affectionate, dedicated romantic partner. Or finding one and losing that person, as happened with Stacy. I'm working on trusting in the universe to bring me my true love in due time and, in the meantime, I am focusing on my own independence, joy, and self-love and compassion, and growth. Doing this through therapy, reading, intuitive healing sessions, yoga with Sally P., friendship connections, and personal training with Teresa.
Fear that I am “running out of time,”and that I am too old to attract new clients, so rather than growing our practice will slowly shrink as clients pass away. How to overcome? Just market to prospective clients anyway! What’s the worst that can happen?
Fear of being seen, fear of expressing myself because of which I take half hearted chances in everything and obviously they don't work out. Planning on taking slow and steady chances to present myself, get to know people better, slowly build my confidence through visualization.
I am afraid of food and exercise. Terrified to even think about it. Avoiding it at all costs. But it can't be avoided. I have to make friends with it.
Afraid of not being taken care of -- translates to feeling anxious and out of sorts whenever I am alone (e.g., when rest of family goes to bed early), and engaging in dysfunctional behaviors such as overeating and staying up late. Current plan is to find alternative behaviors that are less dysfunctional, but maybe another and better alternative would be to work on ways to take care of myself.
I am afraid of doing all that I can. I think I fear it because if I tried and failed I would be ashamed whereas not having tried, not really, I can't have failed, not really. It's taken me a long time to realize that this feels like a failure in itself. I want to have written that next book. I want to fall fully in love. I want to be more fully myself. Inside and out. Leap, not shuffle. Jump in, not watch. Fail big if I have to. Fuck it.
I'm afraid of rejection (thanks birth and adoptive mom!). Since I've been sober almost 9 month now, I see things more clearly and positively. I'm raising a child not to be afraid. I have to follow my own advice, right?
I am afraid of what the future will bring. I try to avoid thinking of being alone, but it pops into my head anyway. We are talking about retiring far from where we live now, but much closer to our kids and grandkids. It should be a welcome adventure, but I have never been good with change. I hope to become more involved in the planning, and thus, less fearful of the outcomes.
I fear that no one will like me if I show them my authentic self. This has limited because it stops me from going after the things I want, saying certain things or acting in certain ways. It limits me because while I’ll fail at times because of it, I’m also missing out on so many wins. I need to keep working at being comfortable in my own skin, my own values and desires and expressing my discontent and voicing my concerns. I plan to be courageous and live wholeheartedly.
After having two heart attacks, having another (possibly fatal) is always in the back of my mind. It hasn’t really limited me, but the thought is there. I have changed my diet, am really trying to drop some weight. Maybe having this thought in the back of my mind will help keep me trying to behave, so I don’t want to let it go.
I think parenting is always full of fears. I didn't realize it at the time, but my job was actually holding me back in my family life. I was so tired from work every day that even if I got home plenty early, I wasn't as present as I could be. And that got worse as my job got worse. And once I started this new job, it was like a whole new world. So I feel like less of a failure, and so I'm less scared of failing as a parent in that respect. But my son is getting to the point where I'm starting to have fears for him or on his behalf. About his social situation, about his school and learning situation, about his physical safety as he becomes more rough-and-tumble. But I'm trying to keep those fears inside, and not let them hold him back from all the things he wants to do and is capable of. I'm trying really hard to let him explore and exercise his capabilities, without my perception of his capabilities limiting him.
Failure. Both at things that I'm actually doing, but also more generally, like a failure to achieve my potential. I'm scared I'm not doing enough, not achieving enough. I think this has been useful in terms of my career, but limiting when it comes to balancing work-related ambition with the rest of life. I need to start thinking about what my ultimate life-goals are, what is really important to me, and what is "good enough" - and that this is ok. I hope that meditation will continue to help, and I think M has already brought some perspective as to what is truly important.
I honestly can't think of a fear that is holding me back. I think I did a really good job this past year at exorcising my demons, and I'm ready for whatever life throws my way. Bring it on.
Not so much a fear, but a need to be in control. It makes me edgy and in a bad mood. When I let go of the control, everything is easier and happier, as well as the people around me are happier.
Fear of rejection - which manifests itself in the ways I constantly reject myself so that others won't get the chance to reject me... not going on certain dates or encounters because of how I feel my body looks, not completing or considering a pitch because it's "clear" to me how or why it would be rejected.
Glad that I have made progress on last year's answer, though I've still a ways to go in that realm. I'd say this year my fear is based around feeling untethered. It is as if I am floating through my days, aimless and disconnected. Perhaps this is resultant of having recently moved. Adding routines and structure back into my days is the remedy I am working on incorporating.
I think its the usual "imposter syndrome" fear. I let it limit myself in the past, but I feel that I am moving past it. I can still acknowledge that the fear is there, but each time I ignore it, I realize that it really is unfounded. I'm hoping that one day I won't feel that way at all.
My fear is that I will define myself as a caregiver and lose the most of who I am. I must keep this in mind and actively go out into the world, which is not natural to me. I must meet people and do things.
I have just (very) recently come to the conclusion that I might be ok with not having children if it doesn't happen naturally, with a stable partner. I have been watching the struggles of single mothers, and being that crazy overwhelmed woman probably scares me even more than not having children and ending up old and alone. I think the key to overcoming it is making sure my life is as rich and full as possible, so that I don't miss out on things just because I don't have kids. Developing hobbies, building a circle of friends (may be more Berliners, in case I decide to stay after all?), investing in experiences.
I am afraid of my own anger and of truly causing pain to others. In some sense this is a good fear, because it promotes self control. But sometimes it limits me from expressing my true feelings and setting boundaries. I avoid setting boundaries, because I don't want to make others uncomfortable. I don't want to be angry because it seems both ineffective and uncontrolled. This year I plan to own my boundaries and my anger; and let go of the need to constantly agree and empathize with people transgressing my needs. The plan would be to record the boundaries I want, communicate them, and "police" them--with any justified anger that arises.
I am fearful of aging with dementia. My mother, sister and first cousin have/had Alzheimer Disease. It is an inherited gene. As I age into my 74th yr, I feel my cognitive skills declining in various ways. Is this normal aging (all my friends complain of the same deficits). It has limited me by causing anxiety. I have consulted a Neurocognitive group of MDs and psychologists and am being tested for current status. By doing this, I feel that whatever answers I get will allow me to take control of my future. Hopefully, this will allow me to be less fearful and turn that fear into pro-action.
Despite all the progress I've made with fearing food, it's still there. I still avoid things or eat less of them when I start to worry about them. Thank Gd, I'm back up to a healthy weight but I wish I could let myself just enjoy the foods I enjoy! I like steak, you know?
I have had a fear of losing the excellency of my life by allowing any change. But I am learning every day that I cannot cement the world in place, that the tighter I hold, the more joy I squeeze out of the events, leaving then dryer and less juicy. Now I see the more I can let go and ride the wave of change, the more joyous the surfing is.
My strongest fear these days is wrapped up in impostor syndrome; the constant, nagging fear that I will be found out as not as technically or socially able as everyone thinks I am, and this will redound onto my ability to contribute to my household and my friends. It's silly of course; I'm actually pretty good at what I do both at work and outside of work, and many people have said so. That doesn't stop the little voice in my head from warning me that I'll soon be found out, though...
I think this year I'm too tired for fears. Plus the really terrible thing happened. So even though there can be more terrible things that can happen, I know I can get to the other side of them even if I don't want to have to.
I think my fear of not “doing it right” creates a lot of unnecessary anxiety and makes it more difficult to try new things. In this new year, I am going to try some new positive self-talk (along the lines of the new narrative in other areas of my life) that will be more loving and encouraging.
My fear has taken a backseat in the last few days. The adrenalin about the engagement has taken precedence. The last few months have been all about love and understanding how to accept it. My fear is that if this all collapses around me, I will not be able to bounce back. If my work doesn't go well, I might never make more money than I am now. The point is not about making more money, the point is about progress, to be able to make myself financially independent so that I have nothing that will hold me back.
I am not longer fear of the world any more. I am only fear of my God. My plan is study the Tora and the Prophets and be a part of my Congregation.
I have a fear of being seen, and a fear of my own power. It has limited me in that I often play small and have stayed behind the scenes. I'm letting it go by putting myself out into the world. More podcasts, more public speaking, publishing a book. It's less terrifying than it was before, but couple my fear of visibility with the fact that my subject matter makes people angry, and it's still pretty terrifying. But it needs to be done. And I'm doing it, whether it scares me or not.
I have a truly debilitating fear of rejection, in both interactions with others and in a more objective sense of failure. I think often times this leads to me staying in a world of complacency and comfort, where I know I can succeed. I also think it has led me to sometimes foreclose on decisions too early because of fear of what will happen if I turn an option down, and nothing else arises. I think since I'm applying to law school, and ready to pick up and move, I'm hoping that that will force me to face this fear.
Fomo is a very limiting fear for me and I’ll try to work on focusing on who I’m with instead of thinking about who I could be with.
The fear of financial instability; of not having enough money as I age. It has limited me all my life. I plan on letting it go by knowing that I have always made it through; I have always been taken care of. So I will do what I know to do, and what it shown for me to do, and relax about it, let it go.
Once again, I've fallen back to the fear of "not being good enough." But I'm also afraid of not being able to find a job that pays well and makes me happy at the same time. But I think I'm already living my biggest fears: waiting around and wasting time. I want to let go and move on, but I'm still afraid to change. The only solution is to just keep going every day and be grateful that I have the ability to wake up every morning. I don't want to continue doing nothing or keeping my ideas locked in my head out of fear that they won't be good enough. I need to stop caring what others will think and just put myself out there. But there is a greater fear of not finding my purpose in life. What if I have no purpose to my existence? It can be difficult at times to think this way and have this fear. What is fear to begin with?
I guess the fear is knowing myself. I dont know what kind of job I want, I dont know if I should keep dating my boyfriend. I dont have a plan on letting it go, but I guess I should get a therapist and make one.
I think that one fear that I have is the fear to make a mistake with important things.. With important decisions. It´s limited to me in the way that I cant take risks.. I can´t do things that can change my life because I think that everything will go for a bad way. I think that I need to be relax.. take the things with calm, live the present and let myself go for the moment.
I think I'm scared of losing people. I tend to cling to people, but that inevitably makes them leave. I need to be my own person before anything else.
fear of financial collapse. fear of being alone. fear of losing everything (including my mind) my fear limits everything. IN THE OVERCOMING YEAR I WILL FACE MY FEAR ! :) say hello. ask it to lunch. look it in the eye. give it a bath. see that it's just scared. speak sweetly to it. (poor thing, it doesn't know what to do). that's the plan.
Starting conversation with new people. No making any new friends making my circle of friends the same and limiting opportunity to meet a partner. Next year I want to join a group solo and make an effort to make plans with new people.
Well- Trump is still scary. Big change is it looks possible that the mid-term elections may change the balance from republican to democrat. Working at the state level has become more important and it looks like we may elect a sweet bunch of candidates. I am overcoming the fear through political activity. Not sitting this one out on the couch.
fear of failure... fear of falling back to my negative cycles... fear of forgetting how much I have lost and gained in the last three years... I'm not planning on letting these fears go, nor am I trying to overcome them... I want to keep them, so I don't forget the lessons I've learned
Fear of failure. If you aren't spending the majority of your time trying to create, you never have to wonder if you are good enough for anyone else to pay attention to. It’s a fear that thus far has kept me from even attempting to pursue my writing and performing. And now, as I am attempting to pursue them, it’s a fear that has the possibility of wrecking the whole enterprise. The only way to know if you are good enough is to put your work into the world and see if anybody responds to it. It’s also the only way you can get better, by putting your work into the marketplace of ideas and seeing how it stacks up. I have built just enough safety net that I can fail a few times, and I need to embrace that failure as a part of the process. I just have to keep in mind that it's a process I very much want to be a part of.
I'm afraid of being seen--really seen--in general. This year I've become especially aware of how afraid I am to be seen WANTING something--to be seen in the vulnerable state of believing in something, wanting something, hoping, liking, etc. (Brene Brown talks about the great vulnerability that always accompanies great joy--this resonates with me). I'm aware that I'm afraid to let people see me in love, hopeful about a job, or even excited about a resturant--because--what if I end up wrong and I'm found out to be a fool? It seems that in some part of my brain I've decided that the only way I can be worthy of love/acceptance is if I am never a fool... never lose track of myself... never hope, never be unpragmatic, never exhale, always take every joy with a grain of salt and a plan B and a somber acknowledgement that magic isn't real. Somewhere along the line it became VITAL to me (at what feels like a survival level) to NOT be taken to be a fool--to be the one who sees through the magician's tricks, through religion's false promises, through politican's rhetoric, through love's fairytale... I've been terrified to believe (and even more so to admit to anyone that I might, even for a second). This year I want to spend more time reveling in the magic and less time being capital C critical...
I've always had a fear a failure, a fear of disappointing. I hope that by trying to stream to Twitch as I game will force me to mess up and accept it. There is no editing a live stream so it will push me a bit out of my comfort zone and to a more relaxed approach towards imperfection, especially publicly.
A fear of mine is failure. I hope in the coming year I can work more on doubting myself less and doing the best I can each and every day.
I’m not sure if I’m more afraid of failing or disappointment. Sometimes it’s toward others and sometimes it’s fear of disappointing myself. It holds me back from making connections and gives me too much of an excuse. I hope and strive to live a more honest life and just learn to be myself, whoever that may be.
I don't seek out the company of others and am feeling rather lonely. I hope to at least try to change this, even if it's with baby steps.
I have a fear of letting others down. This makes it really challenging when I have to just that sometimes as part of life. I want to continue to remind myself that this is just part of life and that not everyone is going to like me, and that's ok.
I fear inadequacy. I want to learn to realize that I am enough, and not to fear something that doesn’t actually exist.
I think I need to go deeper than last year's answer. It's maybe not so much a fear of not fitting in as a fear of being rejected for being me. It causes me to preemptively reject things so I won't feel bad if I'm not included. I've got to keep pushing myself to engage with life until I find my tribe.
Fear of imposter syndrome. makes me seek perfection when progress is really needed. How to let go... really good question. Meditation and working with professional life coach is helping.
I'm afraid to get serious with relationships concerning the opposite sex. Maybe it's time to get out there and see about dating?
After my experience of switching specialties, I worry that I don't want what I think I want. Maybe I'm pushing myself into a field where I won't be happy or fulfilled or successful, because I think that that is what I want to want. I don't know if this fear is limiting me yet. I'm still going full-steam ahead with my career plans. I'm still checking things off my to-do list for applying to grad school. But what if I find out a few years down the line that I've been making the wrong choices? My plan for letting go of this fear is to just keep doing what I've been doing. Perhaps I'll be more confident in my knowledge and abilities 6 months down the line. I guess one concrete thing I could actually do is to STUDY. I should start doing the hard work of learning more about this specialty I'm in.
My fear is that with each passing relationship i become more guarded and less willing to be open or even playful. My fear is that with each passing year i'm less likely to have child and that i only want a child to help the world. help understand the world and he'll help spread what he knows and learns about science and reality. And thats a maybe. no one grows up exactly how they or anyone else expects. And thats just another fear in the pile
fear of rejection. Which is why i'm on these stupid dating sites and never reach out to anyone. i am fine to take so many other kinds of risks in the world. . . .
I fear something will happen to me and I won't be around for my daughters. It's not a limitation per se but I put their safety and well being above all things. In the upcoming year, I have to have maintain confidence in my ability to pass on my wisdom to them and respect that they are growing into their own little persons - they will need their own wings to fly. Baby steps will become leaps and bounds.
I am afraid of everything. I need professional help to work on this.
I am afraid of failing at this point in my life so it is hard to think about making new choices.
I wouldn't call this a fear, but like most people, I'm afraid of speaking up and putting myself out there to get involved & meet new people. In the coming year, I want to be a little more outgoing and make the most out of my last year here instead of being sad when all 3 of my friends can't hang out. Of course, I know who my friends are and will make an effort to hang out with them, but I also want to be more outgoing because it's (1) good practice for when I have no friends in my adult life, and (2) good to hang with different types of people as much as I can.
I still find myself not speaking up during difficult moments. I notice myself barking back more, but I don't like that I have to bark to encourage the other person to back off. I just want to say the thing that would make them stop in a clear and direct manner that is respectful and to the point.
I am afraid a lot, but it's very low-key, kind of like an undercurrent or humming beneath the surface of my entire life. Choosing one primary fear, it would be of never having love or intimacy again in this life, particularly one that is spiritually and emotionally fulfilling, mutually satisfying and beneficial not just for us but for others. I have someone in my heart, and I pray every day that he will some day want me, reciprocally. Failing that, I pray that he would be happy with someone else and that I would have another chance at love with someone else appropriate.
My fear of men has really limited me. I've always had one, but I think it has gotten worse since I was sexually assaulted. And, maybe because of it, I haven't had a satisfying romantic relationship since. I always find myself with shitty men, be it because they are bad news or because they are just not a fit for me. But I wonder what would happen if I could overcome my fear of men, and really try giving my all to someone who is truly great. I guess over this coming year I'm going to try to not give up looking for it, and once I find it, I want to go for it, even if being vulnerable feels really scary.
My drinking is getting dramatically worse. I've always been an alcoholic, but a managed, successful one. And now I am starting to feel like I'm losing that last element of control. I'm both afraid to continue to drink and afraid to stop drinking. (And, I just checked, this was my same answer last year.)
The retirement fear is real, but it is not so much financial as it is the personal motivational factor. What can we do with our time that is fulfilling, meaningful and rewarding? We have two grandchildren who live on different continents so that is one possibility which has its own challenges. I continue to declutter. It breaks my heart to let useful things go by the wayside. Also, teaching curricula are always valuable. Still I need to continue to divest of my stuff. R wants to not deal with fear and not worry about it. M thinks that not dealing with it doesn't really solve the fear factor. On the other hand, we are taking classes. First Tai Chi, but the teacher was not great. Now we are taking ASL which is more rewarding, but of no help to our arthritic joints. To combat our fear of relying on medications and having physical incapacity, we are still walking most nights, doing workouts and playing puzzle games.
I have a fear of becoming less physically and mentally capable and I don't see that there is much I can do about it. I also fear further loneliness from my wife as she continues to work and stay "busy" and we spend little time together. We are in the same house but she is always at her computer or off on some mission. I will continue to exercise and stay social. I will continue to travel. I will continue to be sad and not angry about my relationship with my wife. I will eat healthy food and get adequate sleep. I will continue to be generous to my wife. I fear that this is all the relationship that I will have with my wife. Occasional dates and trips and little time together otherwise. I just feel so sad about this. She seems so afraid of intimacy.
I'm afraid of reaching out to people and having them not like me, of being the odd one out. As a result I hang back, don't open up to meeting people and stay a loner at times. I am trying to overcome my social insecurities, joining in, volunteering, putting myself in group situations and not rejecting friendly ovetures.
Fear of failure-- it makes me not want to commit to anything, to anyone. I'd like to get more comfortable with lack of perfection, not viewing errors as failure. I guess the way to work on that is to consciously challenge the all-or-nothing approach my brain takes when I can notice myself listing in that direction.
I am terrified of water, and have never learned to swim. In truth, I believe this stems from a fear of losing control - I can never relax enough in the water to even begin to learn to swim. It limits me because the rest of my family loves boating and swimming, and so far this is an avenue of exercise and relaxation that is closed to me. I've talked from time to time of taking swim lessons; maybe the coming year needs to be the time to do that. Of course, that could be the first step in learning to let go and trust in other parts of my life as well.
I have a fear of regaining professional success at the level I was at when my addiction caused my collapse. I'm terrified that working at that level of stress again would result in relapse. This has caused me significant hesitance when considering new jobs. This year, I plan on identifying the root issues that caused the stress and addressing them, so that a professional job wouldn't have the same result as last time.
I am afraid of conflict. At my best, I figure out how to say what I need to say or do what I need to do in ways that don't hurt others or cause them to react badly. At my worst, I hold back, get small or let frustration fester and then it eeks out anyway, and likely not in the optimal ways. So more of the former. And cultivating relationships with people who are not easily threatened by differences.
I am afraid that I won't get into medical school and all of my dreams will fail. It's really difficult right now on this day in particular, because I got another rejection, and I still haven't gotten any acceptances or high level interviews. I wish that I could be less full of anxiety right now and that my fears wouldn't get in my way, but whenever I get hopeful about getting in somewhere, it seems like I just get another rejection or another email that means nothing, rather than the one that I want. I need to not let this overcome me in the coming year because I do have good options, and I should be happy with what I have. I feel like I'm in a difficult place where I want something so big, and I want to stay hopeful, but staying hopeful also involves the weight of feeling like those hopes may be false. I hope to overcome it in the coming year by not losing hope because there is always the chance for things to turn around or for things to change.
At this moment, I don't have many fears. I'm really, really lucky. Life is full and I don't have lots of spare moments to idle away, but my life is also very good. I guess I fear not doing enough to help others when I have it so good, because who else will?
The only fear I can think of is having my hearing loss continue, making me deaf. I really do not think that that is going to happen, but there is always that possibility. At night and in the morning when I do not have my Cochlear Implant and my Hearing Aid in, I can only barely hear people that are near to me and that I am looking at. The possibility of not hearing is very scary to me. I have to hope that there will be additional medical help, if that were to happen.
I'm afraid of being judged as a phony. I'm a deeply sincere person in everything I do, but I worry sometimes that people will see what I do and think that I'm only doing it for attention or to impress someone else. I hope to keep trying to let that go this year, and to stop worrying so much about what other people think of me.
This might just be very particular to this moment in my life, but I am afraid of ending up alone and not finding my partner- or possibly, that I’ve found him and somehow messed it up or lost him. Ultimately, I strive to believe that everything happens for a reason, but it’s very hard to convince myself when I’m not feeling great. It can feel hopeless, and it’s very scary, so I feel like it’s allowed me to just completely sink into states of sadness, or allow myself to settle for less than I deserve. I need to move forward and take better care of myself and my emotional well-being, and do my best to really learn that I am awesome and I will find my person when the time is right.
A fear I have is leaving the security of working for a company to launch into private practice. This means I will leave the security and consistent reliability of an expected salary and benefits. I plan on overcoming it by leaving my company and just doing private practice so I can have more flexibility and time for my family and so I can have more time to be more focused on just private practice and not feel too spread too thin,
I am scared of being stalked and burning bridges with workplaces. I am scared my manager will freak out and overreact when I give my two weeks notice, and I would rather be on good terms with management because I love the company. I plan on working on it by taking a step back, and approaching the situation amicably and calmly and take it from there.
I fear commiting to goals because I have a history of not following through therefore I am less inclined to give my word because I feel bad if I say I will never smoke again or I am going to lose 100 pounds. I have said each year that this is the year I deal with my weight but I lose 30 pounds then gain back 40. This yo-yo bullshit has been going in 40 years and is so dispiriting!!!! I fear I am living out Johnny’s prediction of a horrible, inevitable death! If that hasn’t motivated me to change, I don’t know what will. I am such a winner in every other area of my life except for my own body!!!!!
I think I fear not being good enough. I know I am. I work hard, and I am good at what I do. I'm not perfect, but I don't need to be. I just need to keep telling myself that, maybe then I can let the insecurity go.
Fear of financial hardship (aka, "poverty") and fear of homelessness. It limits me by preventing me from even thinking about retiring until after I'm 70 (3+ years from now). On the other hand, I'm not sure it's all bad to be fearful about that -- realistically, a lot of older people are suffering, and if I can avoid it, by staying in good enough shape to keep working, that's a good thing. Another fear I have is of losing my vision, and maybe my hearing. If either of those get bad enough, I may not be able to keep working, and that would not be great.
My fear from last year was essentially realized in June, when I had surgery. My husband was very cold towards me while I was in the hospital, and he was pretty unsympathetic about the long term effects of my issue. So, I have even more resolve now to get my life together and figure things out for myself: financially and professionally, because if the money piece is in place, I won’t have to depend upon him if something else comes up in the future. In addition to the fear of being dependent upon him ( or anyone else), I am also afraid that I will just keep living my life in some terrible ‘loop’, and that I will have been no more productive when I look back at these next year than I have been this past year.
I'm afraid that I'm a bad person. I have to be more forgiving to myself in the upcoming year.
I'm scared of looking foolish. I don't take as many risks as I should because I'm scared of looking dumb. I'm scared of not being perfect. I hold myself to an unrealistic standard sometimes. I need to get better about using the clinical model of learning--experience, reflect, and refine.
I think one of my fears has been to have a child and, in line with what I wrote last year, that I wouldn't be "good enough." WELL, sometimes you turn around and you're almost in your mid-thirties, and it's Showtime! Ha. But really, I think I plan to let it go by just recognizing that nobody is "ready" to be a parent, but if you are a loving and moderately capable human, it's worth a try. I think I can do it. And, as I said in the last question, I intend to *read up* on this whole parenting shebang and, you know, talk to other people, and do the best I can. Plus, I married a wonderful man who I know will be a great father, so that's reassuring. What I will need to let go or overcome is my habit of second-guessing and, instead, realize that I'm not going to be a perfect mother -- never mind the perfect *working mother* (so loaded). I have no plan for that except to keep reminding myself that people say it's hard because it is, and maybe to find a network of working moms with whom I can share.
My fear of the unknown future has recently become more relevant in my life. Although my anxiety has been at bay for the bulk of the last two years, with the uncertainty of where I will be next year has caused my anxiety to resurface. It has caused me to become detached from the people around me and short-tempered with those I love (my family and Jack). I hope to find it within myself to accept the unknown. I can't do anything about it so I might as well just live in the moment. By swallowing applying to college in manageable chunks, forgiving myself more readily and trying to remove some internal pressure, and by being more spontaneous I hope to overcome my fear of what's to come next year. Moving away from home is scary but the last thing I want to do is destroy my last moments living under the same roof with my family by being full of anxiety.
I’m surprised to say that I can’t think of any specific fear that I have at this time. I’m no longer afraid of my son’s mental illness or alcoholism, thanks to the wonderful NAMI Family to Family course that my husband and I took this year.
It’s not so much of a fear as it is an uncertainty, but I sometimes wonder where to go or what to do as I am learning to live in a state of being, rather than doing. I imagine some of the thoughts or emotions around uncertainty could mirror what it is to have fear as there is a relational element of not knowing. I imagine that I will continue to focus on my spiritual practices and acknowledge whatever thoughts or feelings arise around uncertainty or the unknown. I have faith that I will continue to be divinely guided and if I ask God, Where do I go or what do I do, I will know when I know.
My response is similar to last year - I am afraid of opening myself of spiritually and emotionally to others. I need to do a better job taking chances and letting go of the fear.
That I won't have enough money. I've been lucky in the last several years to steadily progress professionally. Growing up I went through periods of homelessness and general poverty, so I'm really sensitive to the fact that money comes and goes. HOWEVER, I have a fairly strong safety net, savings, and support system and I'd like to make decisions about my job a little less reliant upon how much money it pays.
I have a fear of being average. I think I also have anxiety that paralyzes me. I try to be a perfectionist in things and sometimes that halts me because I don't deliver. I will instead try to tweak and tweak but I don't deliver. Meditating helps me calm my monkey mind and focus on a task.
There are occasions when my physical ailments such as pinched nerves, high blood pressure, increased frequency of urination, fatigue and excessive anxiety interfere with my ability to do some of the things that I want to do. I adjust by being very practical and take less of my diuretic, eat and drink water when I feel weak, reward myself for overcoming my fear of swimming, talk myself into doing something productive, and tackle a problem sooner that later.
I am afraid of moving forward without validation from someone else. I end up waiting for confirmation from others before deciding if I'm ok with something that I've done, and it means I move forward in a piecemeal way, but also in such a way that I isolate each action from those before and after it - i.e., Whew! Came out of that ok. I want to have less attachment to what others think, to trust more in myself, and to act with greater intention (not just reaction).
I am afraid of conflict. I'm afraid people won't like me, or will judge me. It keeps me from being honest and vocal about things I care about. It can be hard to tease out this fear from my natural introversion and reluctance to put myself forward, or promote myself, but there really are times I should stand up more.
I am terrified of being vulnerable and opening up to people. I am afraid of showing that I am weak or imperfect, so I often put on a brave face and act like everything is ok, even when it's not. This trait really made things difficult for me this past me, when I was struggling with low self-esteem, anxiety about jobs and the future, and also struggling to build meaningful relationships with friends. I hide so much away, and then eats me from the inside out. Sometimes I can pretend to be my own therapist, but sometimes I really just need to open up to someone else. I'm trying to work on doing that more, and also more readily. I always wait until the pot starts bubbling over before I open the lid and lower the heat, instead of just doing that as soon as things start to steam up. I really want to work on this for next year, especially if I ever want to actually experience love. Otherwise, I fear that I'll be single and alone, unable to take a risk with intimacy, for the rest of my life.
Always - asking for what I really want. I'll just keep working on it, and try to speak without fear.
I was promoted past my skill set & abilities in karate & I'm now paralyzed. I have virtually stopped training because I haven't learned the new material & I'm senior enough that I HAVE to learn my material. I feel like I either have to bear down or quit. I have yet to work out a plan but I guess my plan is to figure out how to cope...
As my husband and I approach retirement, I have many small, nagging fears: where will we go, what will we find there, how will I get our current house in order, packing, moving. . . . I'll overcome this by just bloody doing it.
I was stressed and worried about falling when climbing/bouldering. I've gotten much better. By not being scared, my grip and stability has improved. I now find it funny that there is a vicious circle of instability: by feeling worried about falling, you make yourself more likely to fall. I feel this has a lot of cross-over outside of climbing. Confidence in success increases chances of success, for whatever reason.
I fear whether my child will ever be truly independent. Obviously, that doesn’t limit me. I have been very, very fearful and anxious my entire life. It per se has limited me in all areas, in every aspect of my life. I push back as much as possible.
I have so many fears lately! I'll just list the big ones. 1. Being stuck at my current job forever, which is a totally irrational fear but since I've been job hunting and not super successful in leaving it's been a constant nagging fear of mine. For this I plan to keep reminding myself that every day is a new day, and that it's unrealistic to think I'll be stuck at this job forever. I also might look for ways out without having to find a new job if it comes down to it. Ultimately it's a motivator for change. 2. Being forever single has been an increasing fear of mine as I get older and everyone starts pairing off. It always seems like it just doesn't work out for me to have long-term relationships, when it works for everyone else around me. And I'm not sure exactly why that is--whether it's a vibe I give off, or my personality, that my job and education is intimidating, or I'm just not finding the right person. I'd say finding comfort in being myself and being by myself is important to let this fear go, realizing I don't need someone to complete my life. 3. Becoming sicker from my autoimmune disease, or developing others has been a constant but less severe fear. This really is more of fearing the unknown. I plan to maintain a positive attitude and rigorous care to overcome this fear. I also need to learn to accept change and curveballs that come my way.
Fear of letting others down. It has caused me to focus on things other than my own dreams and desires. I'm not sure that's always a bad thing, but sometimes it is.
I have a fear of being judged by others so I often stay quiet and limit myself. So, I often do not open up to people and am not fully myself around people I'm not close to. This has limited how many friends I have and how I live my life. Hopefully, over the next year I grow more and care less about what people think so I can be myself and be a more open happier person.
Upon reading my past answers, I saw "fear of the president title" or something like that. I guess I overcame it. I've been JFS president for five days now. Once I recognized that I was going to be president somewhere, I just had to choose which organization. That was hard. It's been a lot easier since I chose JFS. I guess I got over that fear! Now I have to do it. I'm excited. Still have the fear of a repeat of major, uncontrolled depression. I doubt that will ever go away.
I am afraid of giving it 100%. I feel as though since I can't do it perfectly than I won't do it at all. Does that make sense? I need to let go of that fear and realize that doing something, no matter how small, is better than doing nothing.
This is the third year in a row that I am writing this answer: I am afraid that people won't see me as legitimate, which is very limiting for me. The issue is that I often have trouble seeing myself as legitimate. I have done some really good work on this in the past two years, and I want to continue working on it in therapy and in relationships. Ultimately, feeling legitimate due to outside validation only goes so far, and I need to know that I am legitimate even when others may challenge that.
I have a fear of complacency and inadequacy. It's a cyclical fear: I'm afraid I'm inadequate so I don't act; a lack of action makes me feel incapable. I think I can overcome this by recognizing all of the small but very tangible action items I have accomplished up until now, as well as all of the large ones (which I often don't give myself enough credit for). Tracking what action I have taken and what capabilities I do in fact have will hopefully trigger more action and less complacency, which will make me feel better about all the things I do (and help me be understanding when I don't do certain things).
One of my biggest fears is dementia. Since both grandma's suffered from it, every time I lose a word or forget a name, I panic inside. I have prepared my family with my thoughts about how I'd like them to move forward. It's ok with me if my husband remarries as long as someone comes to the board and care place and makes me feel loved even if I don't recognize them any more. I think everyone can tell when they're loved. In the meantime, I try to contribute as much as I can to my community and to my family. I try to appreciate everyone around me. I hope I will be remembered for what I added to the world.
I want to not be afraid of interacting with new people. I want to approach them as I would people I know well.
fear of snakes. i plan on doing nothing about it. they're scary.
I've always been afraid of flying, and although I have been flying more in recent years, I've never been on a plane for more than like 3 hours at a time and only within the US. The more I see people taking trips to Europe, the more I think that maybe I will be brave enough to do it too. I love looking at all the pictures and hearing about the amazing experiences people have there. I don't think we will be going to Europe in the next year, but maybe we will fly other places, and each time we do, I will be a little step closer to taking the big flight across the pond.
Fear of failure or rejection has kept me from plowing ahead and reaching out more to others to collaborate on a big project I've been working on for a long time. Continue to believe in it, work harder and not be afraid to set some dates and deadlines which will help push things to fruition.
At this time, although I love my job, I wonder what next. I have been feeling depressed, compassion fatigued these past five years or so--it has been building over that time frame. With my retirement on the horizon, I would like to make more money. At this time I am not looking--I want it simply to come to me. There is an internal struggle within between being grateful for what I have, for the good work I do, for the people who treat me with respect and allow me the freedom to work in sync with my other life needs and an urge to seek and find the next step that actually rewards me financially for what I am worth to a program or an organization. Within the health crisis that has come about (a response to all that compassion fatigue, clearly) I am working on releasing--As I have more energy, feel better, no longer depressed, I am grateful for what I have, even as I feel close to leaving the work I have for new work, for the next step. I am afraid of seeking this change actively--yet deep down believe unless I put some energy towards this next step, to being "found", I will not manifest what is moving internally in my heart, my mind, my intuitive gut.
I don't think it's a fear. I think it's an awareness. Since my Dad's death I have become quite aware of my own mortality and as I have become fond of saying, "There is more sand at the bottom of the hourglass than on the top." With this awareness, I do not want to waste time. I do not want to waste time being anxious, angry, stressed... While my body is still a miraculously functioning machine, I don't want to waste time not using it to its capacity. I want to live each day with gratitude and contentment and with an understanding of what really matters. I want to make memories with those I love that will outlive those whose time has come. In order to do all of that I will work hard on letting go of any negativity.
I still have FOMO pretty bad. I fear being alone. I fear not mattering. I fear being unliked. I fear being forgotten. I fear being excluded. I fear not being "good enough." I fear uncertainty. I fear change in general, even though I am eager to make changes this coming year. I fear lack of affection. I fear lack of attention. I fear lack of reciprocity for my feelings towards others. I fear being fat. I fear colon cancer. I fear Donald Trump and his supporters. That's a pretty comprehensive list! I think mindfulness, reflection, journaling, and possibly therapy will help me with overcoming these fears. Also, a colonoscopy and a Democratic wave in the midterm elections with more representation by women and people of color.
I am fearful to invite new people to my home. I feel that they will judge how my home is decorated and how clean it is. I am going to invite my husband's old school friend and his wife over for coffee and hopefully my heart will continue to beat.
I continue to fear that I will let others down, not live up to their expectations. I fear I will not provide what they want and need of me. It has limited my ability to be fully present in nearly all situations. I plan to continue a mindfulness practice, and exploring self-compassion. I think this will be a lifelong project.
I think my answer from last year still applies. And that is my fear of not fitting in. Not belonging. It's a weird feeling to have, as for the first time in my life, I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have the supportive communities that I have around me. How many people are lucky enough to find not one, but two distinct groups that really love you, in addition to being loved by your own family? But the long lingering fear that I will be found out as a fraud and lose the communities of support that I have is always there and kind of nagging at me. I am in therapy now, and am hopeful that the work that we do will help me overcome these feelings in the coming year and years.
Fear of FAILURE. In a very general sense of course - the future, of not living up to my sisters, etc. But also more specific; things like messing up going on a rockwall and looking like a fool, like doing yoga and looking like a fool, jumping into swimming holes in VT and looking like a fool. BASICALLY looking like a fool. Trying to let go, telling myself no one cares what you look like, NO ONE'S EVEN LOOKING!!! xoox love urself
It's a combination of fear of the controlling voice inside my head that is so mean, so demeaning, and so abusive as well as that of my own power. The fear that my truth is real puts so much into question and the process of owning it, working through it, and pressing on with a real sense of authenticity needs to be facilitated through heaps of therapy and self-compassion. It's limited me to the point that I have a very unreal sense of self and that's impacted, well, everything.
Omg. I have no idea how to let it go. My fear, that when it is my time...I will have no one. In 15 years in have lost my parents, friend, marriage, home. I found love and happiness and a renewed sense of self. My husband has alzheimers. My son has a disability. My brother roams the streets. My reality is my fear. I have put everything in place but still....I will be alone.
In reading my previous answers, I realize haven't made much progress tackling my fears. I'm tired of struggling through every day and am coming to realize I may be more fear driven than I realize. I have lived my life largely doing as I'm told and it doesn't seem to have served me well. In the past year, I had an interesting conversation with a friend where I acknowledged that every moment of my life feels like an obligation, I was surprised she didn't feel the same. I've spent so long living like this, I'm not sure what it would look like to let go of the expectations and self-imposed rules. I hope in the coming year I have a better idea what this might look like. It's time to let go.
This is easy — and terrifying. I fear for my country and the world. Are we approaching the end days? The rise of the next Hitler? It is paralyzing and demoralizing. But I must not be like the “good” Germans who did nothing back then. I must use my voice and my vote, and I must keep fighting for myself and for others who cannot fight for themselves. I will not abandon my community to indifference or fear.
Last year, I did talk to Nathan about his depression shortly after I wrote the response to the question. He still won't go to therapy, but we have better ways of managing his bad days. I have a fear of taking responsibility at work, and then asking questions once I do have that responsibility, and that leads to all sorts of problems. Clearly my own label is going well and we are about to launch soon, but I can't manage to function so well in an office environment. I am going to meet with my therapist next week to discuss this further.
I'm always afraid of not having enough money. This fear was mostly alleviated after I found a new place to do massage. When I think logically about the future & the resources I know will be available, I have no reason to worry.
Sometimes I fear that I am letting my boys down. Are they getting a "good" education? Will they be prepared to be on their own when the time comes? Will the travel year be too stressful and a disaster? I plan to overcome these fears by reminding myself that I am doing the best that I can at the time and with what I have and what I know. All opportunities come with opportunity costs. Everything in life is a trade-off because we can only go one direction at a time.
I had a stroke 3 years ago and pain has emerged in unimaginable ways. Combined with the fatigue, I have thought of giving up many times. I continue to pray and talk about it the way experience so that I don’t feel alone.
I'm afraid of failure. So much so that it will stop from starting very important projects. I plan on working very hard to push myself to move past these fears. I will try to step into a boss role for myself to try to coach myself through the blockades.
For most of my adult life, I have had a partner. Now, at the age of 72, I am afraid of going downhill physically and mentally without a partner. It sometimes makes me scared, but I'm trying my best. Perhaps I'll meet someone this coming year. Perhaps my friends will take care of me. Perhaps there won't be any long-lasting deterioration. There's something exciting and suspenseful about not knowing what is to come. So, may I be inscribed for a good year!
I am desperate to avoid being seen as stupid, so I've played ostrich for a year now trying to get my financial ducks in a row, thus showing how stupid I am. Gad. It must stop.
My foot is still not 100 percent better so I’m still concerned it will never be as good as it once was. It’s good enough for now, though, so I’m much less worried about it than I was at this time last year.
Being a leader in public. Getting too much attention. Being judged and crucified. Do what I need to do. Throw caution to the wind.
The fear of getting hurt and disappointing others have equally influenced many of my decisions and have limited me in my professional and personal life. It was a combination of not being enough or being too much which would not make me appealing to a romantic partner or to a new job. If something is scary and I get butterflies in my stomach, it's worth it. If after doing my due diligence I want to jump, I should just jump in with the full knowledge that I know how to swim and to pick myself up. I will look at the worse that can happen and realize that no matter what I will survive it...and maybe come out on the other end as a different and better person because of it.
I have a fear of taking on too much. While in some ways I am a classic Type A person, in others I would rather sit back and relax. Sometimes, even though I know I could do more and be more ambitious, I choose not to apply for a bigger job or a larger role - and I think it’s because I’m afraid that I’d be too busy with my job to enjoy my life. So I don’t think I want to let that fear go, because I think it’s actually a healthy fear that promotes self-preservation.
Oh, boy. Today? Today I fear that I'll never be able to be in a truly fulfilling relationship. Amd the way to overcome that fear is to stop worrying about pleasing people. Stop being so empathetic. Stand my ground. Learn that standing up for myself does not make me an asshole.
Fear of displeasing my wife, it makes me a bit Co-dependent. It’s a fine line between loving and caring and going to far. All too often I think what I am doing is right, and it bites me. I am not sure on this one
Fear of financial ruin has kept me from taking risks and making job choices that might make me happier in the long run. I need to find ways to accept a lower level of financial security in return from greater contentment, whether that's by moving to a geography that demands less from an income perspective or just being willing to save a little less at times.
I am afraid of making an ass of myself. I am terribly self-conscious especially in ad libbed situations. I have pushed past if for ages, but I get very anxious/nervous, especially around folks I value. I'd like to build up a bit more confidence and a thicker skin so I won't care as much when I do mess up.
Fear of success. It makes it hard to complete anything. What if I'm really good? What will the expectations of me be then?
My biggest fear is not becoming a mother and being able to feel the joy of my baby growing inside of tummy. I'm 32 years old and i feel like i should have been a mother by this age. I've lost 2 babies and i'm afraid i may not be able to have a child. And also my boyfriend of 5 years isn't ready to have a child. This is difficult for me. I love him and know he will make a great father but if he wants to wait until we are in our late 30's than i can't wait that long. I also fear being a mother. I plan on just living my life and if him and i stay together and have a child than so be it. If not i will move on with my life. I do fear tho that if we part ways that i'm gonna just want to have a baby even if i do so alone. Is that selfish of me? When is someone really ready to be a parent nothing is ever perfect or at the correct time. TIME... we don't know how much time we have her on earth so what am i waiting for.
I am afraid of people finding out how much I really sick or how horribly messy I am or lazy or gross or selfish. I am afraid to have people get too close because they will hurt me or leave me or like someone more than me or see that I'm not worth it. I don't know how to be someone's friend and I have proven it over and over again. I am controlling and can't trust anyone. I feel like a bratty child having a tantrum. What is wrong with me!?!? I am in therapy and hoping against hope to be better in the coming year.
I continue to struggle with being in large (more than 15) groups of people. To try to overcome this, in the coming year I will walk outside after being exposed to groups of people, and try to get to know more than a couple of the people in any given group at any event I attend.
I don't have any real *fear* but rather concerns. I retired in June and with years of accumulated clutter and neglect of the house, I am concerned that I may waste time and not be productive. I first of all remind myself I am retired and can do anything I want! I am also realizing that I don't have to suddenly accomplish it all at once. My letting go is "I'm retired!" My overcoming is making a list of one small thing to accomplish each day and accomplishing at least one small part each day of larger tasks.
I've often been afraid of trying new things, especially new things that come with the risk of injury, even if it's slight. I would like to learn to either rollerblade or surf in the coming year.
When I lost my job I was terrified that I won’t find a job or that I won’t have offers that I would like. Though I am still afraid that I might need to prioritize some banifits I am working on my confidence, and the believe that I can do whatever I want to do.
I have a fear of committing and being known. I have a little voice inside of me that says things like: "You don't know what you are doing." "You are weird" "You will mess up" "You are awkward, you don't know what to do." It's really held me back. I think it keeps me from following through with networking and listening to podcasts. I'm don't like these thoughts to be triggered so I stay away from situations that might....I think it's why I'm so touch and go with my private practice. I plan on letting it go/overcoming it by continuing to push myself out of my comfort zone, by using positive self talk, and by allowing myself to feel loved and supported.
I want to travel so bad. My goal is Greece. I don't want to wait until I retire or be come to old to go. I want to go next year. That is my goal. I plan to travel, I am working on that really bad for this coming year, I was hoping to this past year, BUt was unable. GREECE or Bust
A fear I have is suffering Alzheimer's or dementia and having no one near who loves me to advocate for me. It was traumatic trying to care for my mother during her six years with progressing loss of memory and function. We had her money and my compassion and organizational skills but we still had numerous challenges, not the least of which was self-centered and/or dishonest caregivers. I have no children, my one sibling is seven years older, and I am realistic about non-family members' limitations of time and commitment. My hope is that I will established in some safe space before I am incapable of giving and loving and creating relationships.
I have so many fears. My fears and worries very much limit my ability to connect with people. I feel so much responsibility for every action and word I speak that I rarely act or speak with others. When I do I am very self conscious. I guess I should list my fears and pick one to work on this year.
I fear that my future children will not be invested in their Taiwanese/Chinese roots. I fear it will create a disconnect for them the way it did for me growing up, and that it will take a long time for them to come to terms with their roots. I know I can’t save them from it, but it hurts to imagine a future where my progeny can no longer communicate in Taiwan or China. I have no way of letting go of the future, so I think the best way to overcome my anxiety is to prepare myself by learning more and more about Taiwanese customs and food. By immersing myself and making myself more confident in my own sense of self.
I am afraid of being alone. I am afraid of not having people available to help me out when I need it the most. I am afraid of being vulnerable. It has limited me in the past because I believed that I needed to be in a relationship to be a whole person. I am letting this go this year and it already feels wonderful. It is challenging, but also rewarding to be alone. Alone is not the same as lonely.
My fear of others perceptions of me. Social anxiety and shyness still is deeply rooted within myself no matter how hard I try to feign extroversion. Do others really know the real me? I plan on pushing myself to engage in the world more, moving to another country is something I'm looking forward to
Franchement je n’ai rien qui me vient à l’esprit. Je pourrais dire des choses mais ce n’est pas vraiment des choses très structurantes dans ma vie. Peur de l’échec professionnel, peur du regard des autres sur mon physique notamment, peur de me faire agresser dans la rue, peur de ne pas suivre les règles. Ça me limite parce que parfois je me fais toute petite, je n’ose pas me mettre en avant, je ne vais pas oser rentrer tard le soir toute seule, je vais avoir un manque important de confiance en moi. Cette année,,, je dois prendre confiance en moi et surtout développer mes capacités professionnelles pour être enfin performantes
I fear the outcome.What will become of my life? I focus on the thing I can't control to the detriment of the things that I can. This year I'll let that go in favor of focusing on the process.My mental frameworks.My attitude.Me. I'll change me. Fuck the outcome. Focus on growth. Anyway fear is the root of courage.
I fear amputation and pain from neuropathy; it NEEDS to limit my carbs, but that has been slow going due to my incredible ability in denial. I plan to do better and recommit to WW and moving more. (I just read that was my plan last year...:( )
So my biggest fear is my own anxiety as well as public speaking. I look forward to letting go of my anxiety by seeking therapy and being able to discuss my feelings more instead of holding them in so much. I also plan on getting over my fear of public speaking by preparing myself really well before presentations and continuing to do my Volunteer Training's each month. More practice and hopefully that fear will disappear!
I still fear the lack of trust in our polarized society. My pledge is to try to respect all people with whom I interact and express my empathy and compassion. I will look for common interests.
I am a ball of fear normally, and I feel like I've been able to let go of a lot over the last ten years. I guess right now I'm pretty scared about my - our - financial future and the state of the world in general. All I can really do is push myself to get and keep a job and to do the best I can to take the time to do the little things that I know can make the world better. My modest part. Be brave and speak up. Along with that, our new place is much cheaper and I hope that will help a lot with financial stuff. It makes me angry that Justin's work dropped him right after we met the deductible, but there's nothing we can do about that now. We just have to make it work, and if we're in collections, we work out of it. I really need to stop spending so much. That will make it better. I feel guilty about it, but all I can do is work to make it better and to pay off what I can.
I have a fear of not being able to walk after a serious injury prohibited me from doing so for 15 weeks. Long recovery, I can walk, just not far enough. I still can't let go of the debilitating consequences and as a result I miss out on a lot because of my fear. I need to focus more on positive activities like prayer, meditation, yoga, tai chi to achieve mind over matter. "If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
Not feeling good enough or worthy. I’m going to let go of this through meditating and practicing self-love as much as I can.
I think I've always had a fear that I'm not lovable, that I'm too much. This year, I've begun to see myself in a different light. First of all, being out in the world has made me recognize that I'm deeply lovable, desirable, interesting, fun, etc. It's been both a surprise and a relief to realize those things, to witness others savoring me (a person I always believed was unbearable to be around). Second, I am recognizing that I am just enough, and I'm not filtering myself for others anymore. That is a real gift.
I fear that the anxiety and stress involved with selling our home, and the civil lawsuit brought by our buyer has undermined my confidence in my resilience and that of my husband as well. The suit was postponed, which hurt because my brother and his wife are coming in and will miss the chance to help mediate. We will meet privately with the buyer; she does not have a claim which makes sense legally or ethically, but the stress has been chronic from day one. I do hope that once it is over, and we start work in the new house, that my emotional strength will return and that I will regain my sense of equilibrium, and of course, my husband too.
I have had a fear about whether I can sustain in my job: financially and emotionally. I am accepting a slower pace and working with more intention--as well as ensuring that I am paid at my value. I am focusing on the work that inspires my passion as opposed to forcing myself to take on work that may or may not pay as well--financially and emotionally.
I have fear of doing something silly when I’m intoxicated. It has prevented me from taking part in social events and when I do plan to drink in certain situations it gives me anxiety. When I do mess up this gives me even more anxiety. If I continue to attend less social events and know my limits when I do drink I should prevent these situations arising
Obviously my fear is that I run out of time... I have stage 4 metastatic prostrate cancer but... we fought it we are fighting it and it’s under control in fact improving so... while I’m aware of it everyday Iknow we are doing all we can and living everyday to the fullest. In the coming year Inwant to live every day even fuller if that’s possible...
I fear being able to be in social spaces by myself. I fear making a good impression. I'm not sure how to let this go, it's a lifelong anxiety. I think keeping in mind who my friends are and who good be my friends is a good way to make sure this doesn't happen as much.
Imposter system. That I’m going to ruin everything because I’m making it all up as I go along. I probably should seek out therapy or a coach.
I want to overcome my fear of being alone. I seem to have this deep and abiding belief that I am going to end up by myself. At this point, it just seems so unbelievable to me that anyone could love me enough to enter in a relationship, let alone build a family together. I need to keep putting myself out there and trying despite this fear.
My fears are about failure: to be a good person, a good rabbi, a good parent, a good grandparent, a good husband... What to do about that fear? It's all about showing up and being present. More listening, less talking. More mindfulness, less ego-driven pursuits.
I have this fear that I'm caught in too many bad habits or behaviors. I really want to break them and shift my mind mentally. I want to talk to a therapist about it to see where it's coming from so I can change my life for the better. I feel like this could also allow me to attack and handle my anxiety a lot better, taking away any power it has. I need to get ahold of the root. This has caused me not to be as adventurous, not as active, not connect with people like I know I can, not take part in many activities/projects/ideas that I have. Bottom line: I can be A LOT more productive than I have been. I think I may have been onto something when I said to myself years ago, "You're the most happy when you've created something, and something good."
I am afraid to do many things alone - go to the movies, go out to dinner, travel. So I don't do those things unless I have someone to go with. I have gone to restaurants alone but have not yet been brave enough to do the others alone. Maybe someday.
Afraid of taking up space; it elicits shame. Even when appropriate, even when encouraged, even when I get positive feedback...I still shrink from being centered, in the spotlight, or taking charge/leading from the front. I’d like to allow this to subside as I grow in conviction & integrity in offering service to the world.
fear of illness.. control hypochondriac obsessive thoughts fear of loosing a child. accept the big universe feel of failure. it is ok to fail.. fear of rejection. rejection does not mean death.. turn to the other side.. believe that brightness will shine .. it's not all black.. look for it to see it..
I have always had a fear of public speaking, which for a minister now preaching weekly, can be problematic. It is no longer about being able to stand up and talk (with a script), but the fear of being judged on the quality of the sermon. The biggest issue for me is the anxiety of trying to write something I think will be interesting and relevant, and how to put in words what I want to say. I tend to do a lot to procrastinate, and in the process, waste a lot of time I could use more productively elsewhere. I realize I have a choice of keeping on with the same behavior, or finding ways to put it at rest and learning to trust the Holy Spirit to give me the words so I don't have to be anxious. I'd really like to tackle this, and with weekly preaching (except for recycled sermons), I should have lots of opportunity.
I fear not doing what it takes to build Amazon +/or healing, quiting the Warriors Way, losing more ER jobs + retiring broke.
I am afraid that I will end up staying in my current job too long and will miss the opportunity to have a business grow around Qigong programs and treatments. But I guess I’m also afraid to just throw in the towel and leave this job once and for all. And that is limiting me from trying the other while I have enough room, energy and investment dollars. In the coming year I can let it go into ways: either leave this job, or stop being afraid that I am missing out on something else. The latter sounds like a requirement in any case.
Failure. Makes me less likely to do stuff but I'm going to work to get past it and try new things.
I have feared being left behind or thrown away--that I am disposable. It is existential and related to past experience. After everything that has happened in the past five years--domestic violence and the two surgeries that resulted from it. The painful physical therapy process. Learning to walk again. The unexpected judgment from friends and family in my faith community when I finally ended my 20-year marriage. The losses. For saying 'NO' to physical violence and abuse. For wanting my children to see that there is more to a marriage than 'taking it'. It has, however, been worth it all. I would take the risks again. Leaving and not knowing the outcome. But, sometimes the fear comes for me, and I remember how much it cost. I would rather take risks and live with uncertainty and anxiety than live with the certainty of turmoil and ultimately die--quite literally. "If I am not for myself, who will be for me?"
I fear that I will not survive to see my children into adulthood. This fear hasn't limited me, because I am getting on with my life, but I need to learn to overcome it. This year I will work towards feeling more confident that I am alive and well in the NOW, I will aim to make more strong and happy family memories, and I will continue to work towards a healthier and happier ME.
I am so afraid of never being a parent. I'm 35 years old, went through puberty early (age 11), and I am so afraid that when my partner and I are ready to start trying, that we won't be able to conceive. He's ten years older than me. I wish I had more time for us to be together and get settled in with each other (finances, living together, marriage). We've known each other for almost four years, and I've been ready to get committed to each other and move towards parenthood for the last year and a half - basically, since I got a new job. But in that time, we have both lost a job and gotten a new one, with me being unemployed for part of that time, so it has really slowed us down financially. I'm afraid that we'll never really be "ready" and when we are, that we wont be able to have a kid. This past year, I have been afraid of saying what I really want outloud since our financial circumstances have changed so much. I've gotten better lately, and we're making steps towards parenthood and formalizing our partnership (financially and legally). I hope that in the coming year, we will stop all birth control and move in that direction. I'm scared of all the pressure that may bring, but I'm more scared of not trying (and not trying soon enough). I am going to continue to work on giving myself mindful self-compassion because this is out of my control in so many ways. I'm also going to continue to speak up for what I want, and be a good listener to my partner.
Work. Career. Finding husband. Made me feel stressed and hopeless. Sometimes made me feel stuck and not good enough.
One of my biggest fears is not being good enough at my job. This has made it more challenging for me to ask for help when I need it and to admit when I am struggling with something. This year I plan on being more proactive in asking for assistance and guidance!
Finances. I'm low key concerned I'll not be able to keep a significant other who has house-related goals. I know that's nuts but I also would like to make actually meaningful contributions to me debt.
I reread last year's response and thankfully I did not angrily speak out! I really do not have a lot of fears-the only other 1 is I'm now afraid of my neighbour's dogs (they have advanced on me growling and barking) so I'm afraid I might get bitten :( I'm no longer fast enough to outrun them UGH I'm putting positive vibes into the atmosphere that they move away, since the owners have told me pointblank they do not intend on changing a thing/honouring the Bylaw. Please, Lord, have them move away! Amen.
So many fears it’s hard to pinpoint Fear of failure Fear of being ‘public’ Fear of attack Fear of abandonment Overcoming by trying to love myself and surround myself with support. Being very honest with myself and others. Standing up for myself
I am afraid to leave my current firm because I really like the corporate culture and I’m worried about ending up at a company that is the wrong cultural fit for me. If I do not land a position with my firm in the East Bay, I will start looking for a new job in the East Bay outside my current firm.
Basically the same as last year - I've got medical dietary restrictions, and am always afraid to try new/different foods and making myself sick. I want to be more brave this year, and to stop using work as an excuse and get to a dietician who can help me.
I have social anxiety. It's crippling. there are events I have avoided because of it and unfortunate choices I've made to lessen it. It's awful. Everyone says, relax, don't care so much what other people think. Yeah, ok. Think about something that literally keeps you up at night and then try not to care about it … because someone else told you to. I don't believe I'll overcome it in the next year. The best I can hope for is to try to manage it. Maybe go to events even though I have the anxiety. That's a reasonable goal.
I think at this point, my biggest fear is that I'm fearless. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? Worse than this past year? Although, I can think of many ways it could have been worse, and I am grateful that it wasn't.
Fears, yes, I work around and through them. Letting go is ignoring, so I recognize, acknowledge, and try to stay prepared. If time permits, I do a controlled breathing exercise; if emergent, instinct prevails.
I'm afraid of wasting the rest of my life by not tackling new adventures. I'm also afraid of throwing away the famliar things in my life that are important. As I pass through my grieving process, I hope to be listening to my heart and my kishkes about these things, and shaping a good way forward.
I used to believe that courage was the absence of fear and that there was something wrong with me that I couldn't get over the fear. Its taken almost 70 years but I've learned that, for me, courage is, "Feel the fear and do it anyway." I'm a writer and I fear being really lousy and not worthy of being published. That has stopped me for years at a time but now that my time is growing short, I've begun to move forward no matter how bad I think a piece is. That's what editors and re-writes are for. So, after months of stopping and starting, I finally finished a piece of 74,000 words - my longest effort yet- and I've given it to an editor and a couple of readers. Hoping to self-publish the collection in 2019.
My greatest fear is that I'm not good enough on any dimension -- socially or professionally. I think trying to focus on process rather than product may help. Or changing my perspective to look at everything as practice rather than my one-and-only shot at something may help.
My fear is being continuously abused by my biological family, my childhood led to existential crises while growing older. I relocated and I am keeping them out of my life. In the coming year, I will keep on working of getting to know myself better and therefore be hopefully able to eventually let go of my existential fears.
I fear people’s negative opinions. Therefore, I often refrain from expressing my own. I fear controversy and confrontation. Therefore, I often sweep disagreements under the rug until resentment builds. I fear failure. Therefore, I often fail to take risks and try new things. I know all of these get easier with practice. I will continue building on the steps I have taken this year to speak, write and publish my truths.
Meus medos pessoais são falta de dinheiro e de saúde. Para isso só posso contar com o apoio de Deus, para quem lanço meus pensamentos, já que a realidade econômica deste país está terrível e a saúde pública, graças a política inescrupulosa dessa classe dirigente egoísta, também. Participo do Conselho Gestor do Posto de Saúde, implorando para que um mínimo de luz ilumine os dirigentes das verbas, pois eles são Muito, mas Muito canalhas, deturpando os dados de forma vergonhosa! Vemos o aumento dos indigentes nas ruas, totalmente abandonados, já que foram retirados todos atendimentos especializados a eles.Meu medo em termos planetários são do Bozosemgraça ganhar a eleição e de Israel e os judeus serem muito atacados e sofrerem demais, já que o antissemitismo tem aumentado terrivelmente! Me empenho em discutir com as pessoas sobre esses perigos e me exponho para construir o mundo para outro lado, trabalhando com projetos construtivos em termos de arte e direitos humanos.
Travel. Same as always. I've tried getting beyond it, but even this past weekend I was stressed about a bar crawl that I bought tickets for. And that was just ten minutes away, but it meant a possible 8 hours of being out. I ended up having a great time and not even getting very tired. I paced myself and kept a positive attitude. one thing I realized is that if I stay in the moment (no Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, email, photo taking, etc...) I feel more connected to what is happening. Anyway, I'm not sure how to overcome it, other than to remember to say yes to spontaneous things, and plan small outings that lead up to longer ones.
I guess looking foolish, esp to those I care about and admire. It’s kept me from finding a mate. I wanted someone that would seem excellent to the world. Even surface shortcomings kept me from letting some men in.
My biggest fear is being found to be a fraud. I don't feel that I am smart enough or take good enough care of what I need to be doing. I fear that I am failing in everything. Wife, mother, manager, employee, confidant...all of them. I am going to need to take a few steps back and just plan better. Take the reins of what I can and understand what I can control and what I cannot.
Success! I don't generally make goals so I think that if I greatly succeed the responsibility of that and moving on the the next goal REALLY intimidates me. I get overwhelmed and shut down, the more successful I am the busier I get and the harder it is. I just need to get more help and grow.
Thank you God that I have made lots of progress on working through my fears. That said, I still do fear losing clients unexpectedly. I will first be aware when that fear brings me anxiety, then I will confess that to God and give it to Him to deal with.
I fear my own success. I am super bad at just letting things fail so that I don't have to complete anything and just basically live a life of mediocrity. This year I plan to get over myself and get out of my own way so I can do something more than live paycheck to paycheck and actually find something in my world that makes me feel fulfilled.
I worry about a lot of things - not being enough: not being there for my family (or, more to the point, shirking my responsibilities and leaving them for others to pick up), not satisfying my potential/goals/dreams, actual - largely irrational - practical fears like my anxiety around driving that has an increasing impact on my life. I think, if I get over one limiting fear this year, that has to be it. Getting over my mental block about driving and doing it habitually will be a huge confidence boost, and remove a lot of practical barriers (getting to pottery classes, visiting more remote galleries and shops, getting supplies from garden centres and DIY stores, popping in to neighbouring towns without it being a full day plan, getting stuff out the house to charity shops and the dump, visiting friends, doing my share of long trips... the list goes on).
I have feared dealing with the last remaining issues of care for my handicapped brother and my sister's lack of assistance in any form despite agreements with our deceased parents about doing so. Thorny, but necessary to my mental health and ability to enjoy my commitments. I must come to a permanent agreement or understanding with my sister or let it all go, and I would rather honor my brother in his care while being appropriately reimbursed and honoring my sister's needs to separate from the obligations.
I worry that I won’t feel like I fit in my new home abroad and that I will feel too lonely. I plan to socialize, take classes, and find new hobbies.
Fear: Self-consciousness / fear of poor communication and shame. Not being heard. Limit: Constrains my self-expression, speaking my truth, stumbling over my words in business and personal life standing up for myself or an idea I feel strongly about. Letting Go/Overcome: Practice recognizing and giving space to those intense feelings (of deficiency); practice surrender. Then find safe outlets for practicing self-expression, communication, learn to articulate my value/contributions.
I am afraid of exposing vulnerable emotions, and thoughts and feelings that I think another person will judge, criticize or not like. It's all from a fear of being rejected, and a belief, deep down, that I have to be perfect to be loved and accepted. I intellectually know that it's not true--and that no one is perfect and anyone can be loved. My struggle is in feeling that to be true and living by it. I keep trying to find the courage to be totally honest about my feelings--especially with people who have the power to hurt me and reject me.
I have a fear of major financial transactions. Buying a car is agonizing. It has limited me to living in rental spaces for the past years, because I'm afraid of being evaluated for a mortgage, and then locked into what I see as decades of debt. However, I really do want a home, a place of my own. Over the coming year, I am going to 1) open up the discussion with my credit union to see whether they would support me in a mortgage for land and 2) seriously discuss with a friend the possibility of going in on this together, to buy land so that I can either build a tiny house or buy a pre-fabricated tiny house on wheels for myself.
I have a fear that the health stability I have finally attained could so easily destabilize. Should I lose access to any medications that keep me healthy, my health would spiral. If anything happens to my husband (who does not take such good care of himself, though he is trying a little lately), things would change drastically. I couldn't live in my home alone, would have to give my dogs away, and likely lose much of my life as I know it. I can control my worries when it comes to myself, but have no control over what my husband chooses to do. I'm not sure I can overcome this, or let it go.
I suspect that my whole life has been about fear. It is deeply ingrained in my being, from childhood. It has always limited my life, discouraging me from taking risks now. Is this the reason I feel so unwell? Illness stops me from doing anything these days- and we are taught it is depression and we can somehow get out of it- but I'm not convinced, sounds like blaming the victim.
I’m living in fear full-time at this point. Anxiety and panic attacks, afraid of my husband. I caught him in an emotional affair but hadn’t noticed earlier signs of ?? I still don’t know what - and he’s not going through the process of self-recovery and it is increasingly hard not to think this is mania, not adhd. I’m in therapy twice a week and have joined a 12-step group and will soon be away for a month.
I’m afraid of this inability to get started. I feel like it’s two steps forward and four steps back. I don’t know how to overcome it. But I hope i do or this time next year we will either be poor or I’ll be working somewhere that makes me sad.
This year my oldest child turns 18 and will leave home for college. The fear of letting my children go has consumed me lately. The fear of not having a purpose or reason anymore is real. To overcome this it is important that I continue to put my husband and my relationship center stage. Also, finding hobbies and projects that are important to me is something that I will do. Starting a business with my husband last year was probably lucky timing. If it's successful it will certainly help fill whatever void I find at the end of this season of life.
Growing up. And I mean growing up in the relationship sense. Having a longterm relationship, truly sharing life with another human being, relinquishing a certain amount of the independence and freedom I have grown to cherish. I finally found a woman to propose to, who I think I am ready to "grow up" with.
My fear that I have is that I am not destined for a good life. That I am cursed. That I am not good enough. All the things my mom says about me. That the fight is going to be too hard. That my voice will never be heard. That I will stay stuck forever. I carry around that fear and even when things are good, I fall into fear and crippling anxiety again. This is sad and I try so hard and have had good moments that I went beyond my limiting thoughts. I really am trying to let this go and hope it won't always be a lifelong thing. Something that I realized is that I have not always received the love that I needed and do want a nourishing healthy relationship with someone who is truly there for me and I am truly there for them. I have never really had that and never really asked for it in a real way. I hope this will be revealed this year for me.
Last year's answer is pretty much this year's answer: I'm slowly getting better at getting things done, even if it is just linear progression. In terms of fear, it may be whether I'm making the best use of my time, for myself with a balance of getting things done and enjoying life, and then using my time in the best ways of helping my family, friends, and community. A different fear is the direction this country is going. Ask me about this in a couple of months.
I am still working on this. Perhaps it's a given, that as humans in the world such as it is, time and money will be two major concerns throughout our lives. I understand intellectually about living in the moment and responding to things as they arise, yet forget daily my understanding of it and how to live it. I've started doing guided meditations and while I haven't been able to sustain daily practice I keep returning to it. I am seeking perspective from a therapist I know and trust to help me find better ways to regain focus. I seek to find a way out of the sense of having too many responsibilities to focus on my deepest desires; to find a balance between meeting my responsibilities and my desires.
I would say my fear of death. It's hard to overcome. I believe in God or at least this isn't all there is. But it still scared the shot out ok of me.
A fear that I have had is that I do not belong. I am sure than many, many people have this same fear and feeling. That in and of itself is funny. There is a group of us who are afraid that we do not belong and yet be already belong to that group! Who cares! Jump in anyway. There is and will always be a place for me and my work as long as I am alive. Because this is why I am alive. Give it away.
My fear of hurting others limits me in that I don't do the things that could improve my joy. I plan to do little things everyday that make me smile. I plan to hold myself accountable for my own actions and not how others respond to them. I plan to remember that change takes a change of heart, mind, attitude; I plan to open and create a sacred space inside of me that welcomes the divine energy.
I fear what other people might think of me, and it truly dictates what I do and how I act when I'm not in the safety of my home. I hope to overcome it over the next year by using a lot of positive self talk and by reminding myself regularly that I only want to be friends with people who will like me for who I am, and I don't want any people in my life who would judge what I do anyway. It's a form of natural selection to be who I am regardless, and accept and appreciate only the friends who stay or find their way into my life while doing so.
I am afraid I will not be able to do what it takes to complete my masters program. I am working on believing in myself and taking it one reading and one assignment and one class at a time and not future tripping too much. I would like to have more self-confidence in my abilities. I would like to feel the way Dietmar feels about me, about myself. I have a strong group of people who totally believe in me and I would like to believe in myself the way that they all believe in me. Therapy, therapy, therapy. Positive self talk, positive affirmations. Belief, faith, sticktuitiveness.
I am afraid of death, of losing my husband/children. It terrifies me. I've had this fear as long as I can remember. I don't know how to let it go. I often wonder if I could survive without my spouse. There is much I don't feel equipped to do. I usually try to focus on right now to stop the horrifying thoughts. Everything right now is ok. They are all safe and healthy. I will deal with the worst whenever it comes. I don't think this fear can be overcome.
I feel scared for the future of the United States. I wonder if the oligarchy which this country has descended into can ever truly thrive as a diverse democracy (because even when it was more democratic, that was almost entirely for white people, mostly white men). I don't know how I can let this go... maybe leave the country and raise my family somewhere else? I would like to claim that I will do more activism in this realm, but my planned activism is around foster care reform, not democratic reforms.
I'm afraid of getting what I want. I used to think it was fear of not getting what I want, so I'd never try. But I've come to realize that a larger part of that same fear is the fear of actually getting what I want. I want a solid relationship and yet I'm afraid if I really work at it, I just might get one. I also want to finish my screenplay and have it made into a feature film. I'm afraid of working at it, chipping away at it day by day, until it is complete. Because then I'll have to send it out, shop it around, and get it made. What a great thing to realize. Fear of accomplishment and fear of failure. Two sides of the same coin/fear.
Using a wheelchair. I am scared of it as a symbol of disability. It's not just about how others see me, it's how I see myself. I don't want to be disabled. But not using a wheelchair keeps me in the house more than I otherwise would be. I wouldn't spend as much energy on going out if I had the wheelchair so I'd have less recovery time. And I could leave the house even when my legs aren't working well. I am starting CBT this coming week to deal with this specific problem, and I am going to use a wheelchair at the weekend for the frida kahlo exhibition at the v&a. The way to get past this fear is to do it anyway - and deal with what comes up as I go.
That I’m not good enough and that I can’t make money through my own business. I’ve quit my full time teaching job to focus on building my own business.
I have an extremely strong fear of being disliked. I plan on/hope to overcome it in the coming year by learning to set aside what people think of me to an extent.
I have a fear of being surplus, that I am not really supposed to be alive and my continued existence is a mistake. I do not know how to overcome this.
It's hard to believe that I can live from my art or other alternative sources of income I have explored. I think maybe I don't even have to think of those options as work, so that I explore freely my art. Sometimes I feel I'm good at what I do or create, but I excel at other things, and that has limited me. Not being "good enough" is perhaps one of the worst feelings. I'm working on this, on seeing art as a way to express, so there is no good or better way of doing it, but just simply doing it. I don't want to reach a point where I look back and say I didn't do anything with my music or my other artistic expressions. I'm getting more comfortable with saying I am an artist, and sharing what kind of art I do.
My father is now choosing to die now that my mother died last week. He's now alone in the nursing home room he shared with her. He's not eating or drinking and is very confused. My fear is that life is meaningless. This is a new fear but I don't want to live another 30 years if this is how it ends. I'm afraid of ending in a nursing home far from anyone who cares. What will I do about it? Try to find meaning again. Because right now I don't see any
That I am inadequate compared to my graduate school peers. I plan to overcome it by continuing to learn as much as possible and grow my confidence that this is where I belong!
How can I stand this summer weather? It is too hot. I feel stuck in the house. No idea.
I have such an enduring fear of failing. I think it is beginning to loosen its grip. I have been spending a lot of time working on old beliefs and learning how nothing really has the power to destroy me. I know there's fearlessness at the end of that. Just pushing myself over the edge more often, with little and big things that scare me, so that I can keep collecting evidence that failure isn't fatal.
The fear of rejection -- bothering or disappointing people. I need to work EXTRA HARD to get over it with this new job (if I get it)... I think the secret is (a) putting things in perspective/de-centering myself and (b) practice. Practice, practice, practice. And realizing my hunches about people's motivations/desires might be wrong!
That everything is a waste. That I'll be laughed at. That I'll fail. If I don't try, I can't fail or be laughed at or fail and be laughed at. On the other hand, if I don't try, it probably is all a waste. These twin fears have limited me beyond almost all comprehension. I plan to pray and journal and work through the Courage Habit multiple times.
Apparently I'm afraid of not having enough money. I would not have described myself that way but if I truly weren't afraid I would give my notice and let the universe decide what is next for me.
I fear that maybe I'll work as hard as I can and be as good and disciplined as I can possibly be and try to save as much money as I can and be as health as I can and the rug will still get yanked out from under my feet. I don't know what to do about it; but I do want to not let the fear turn into aggravation at family members when they do things that worry me. Too much like my mom was.
I am scared of people and of leaving the house (as that often involves interacting with people). Over the past year that resulted in my world shrinking down to the point where entering this new year I realized I am no longer going to group things -- political meetings, community celebrations, etc. It's a major goal for me this year to push back on this and expand my tolerance/capacity to be around people even if it feels scary, by going to one group thing per week.
I have a fear of confronting my boyfriend about our dysfunctional relationship. Will he fly off the handle and make things more difficult? Will he try to change, but be incapable of doing so? Will I have regrets (maybe being alone will be lonlier than I thought)?
I have a fear of not getting everything done. I hope, in the coming year, to see more realistic goals for myself.
I fear making the right choices for my career and family. Over the past year, I've had numerous opportunities to take roles at other companies. However, I haven't because either it wasn't the right role or it wasn't the right location. I want to and am ready to advance my career - leaving my current company after 10 years, taking on new responsibilities, growing in title and scope - but to do so risks impacts on my family - either moving or the time I have to spend with them. I'm not sure I have a solution on how to evaluate that going forward, but it is something that I am constantly thinking about. We'll see how I am next year.
I still have the irrational fear/sensation that I will become my mother although I think I am more convinced certain that I won't. I was worried about living alone, not have good connections with my kids, being single but none of those things seem bad or even really in the realm of possibility even at this point. I don't know if I fear expressing my emotions or being emotionally vulnerable, I do know that I have plenty of weird , half-assed ineffective emotional communication behaviors I could get rid of and become more direct in my communications around my feelings, expectations, desires and needs. Well, that should keep me in therapy another few months at least! Oh and we are all going to die because of global warming and I don't want to perform at my singing recital this weekend. Those are other fears. ;)
This is a deep one. I've overcome all sorts of major fears in the past year. This one is buried! I am afraid that, way down inside, I am lazy. Or that I lack the motivation it takes to succeed in the areas which I have identified as being so important to me. Or maybe it's even more than motivation, I fear that I'm a fake and really don't have any talent at all. That the achievements I have had were mistakes or just good luck or fluke. This can't be true! There is so much proof of my talent! What am I afraid of really?
I fear the current administration has done, and will continue to do irreparable damage to the country and because the U.S. is not a closed system, to the world. I will continue to have conversations, make calls and donations to causes and candidates that will work to keep our nation the informed leader we have been.
I fear being lonely and sad with my three children out of the house now that my youngest is going to college. I will be an empty nester after 27 years. I plan on keeping busy and just seeing how I feel on a daily basis. Should I work an extra day or socialize more? I don’t know yet.
I'm afraid of not being able to be a good mom. I think by nature I'm a lazy and selfish person and it scares me to think that being a parent may not come naturally or easily to me, and that I won't succeed at it. In order to combat this, I plan to continue to parent our dog, as well as to proactively do more to be active and pro-active, to hopefully assuage my fear before becoming a mom myself.
Fear of letting me go/delivering fully my heart in a romantic relationship, of trusting too much. I did it this year and i lost myself because he was the most unworthy person to love, a liar and an hypocrite, and a coward who didn't have the guts to face me in a final conversation. I plan to be aware and eye-opened when i meet someone i like/love, if i like what i will see or discover about him, i will let go and free my heart again.
Fear of disappointing others. It stresses me out and makes me less present and less able to check on with my own thoughts and needs.
Well, I'm afraid my wife will leave me. It's limited me by making me hesitant or unwilling to voice my opinions or preferences. I don't have a plan. Suck less?
Empty-nester syndrome. It has robbed me of the will to care about my continued existence. In every way possible.
I have no job for the last 9 months. It limits my plans. There is no option of letting it go, only overcoming. All I can do is to "do my best".
Literally going to copy and paste last year's response: My biggest fear is still fear itself. I will continue to practice mindfulness in whatever way works for me at the time, and practice letting go and being present, and focusing on others instead of myself. I feel like I'm on the right track and have made lots of progress, but there is also more progress always to be made.
I fear that I don't have any career options. That I'll need to keep working a job I see as temporary and not satisfying in order to keep my life afloat, which prevents me from exploring other potential pathways. I can keep examining my options, networking, not letting myself view my situation as permanent or inevitable.
I have a fear of rejection and loneliness. I am afraid that the man I love will leave me for another person or begin to take me for granted. That he will come to the conclusion that he is only with me out of convenience and obligation. He and I have discussed this--many of my fears are from past relationships that really did a number on my self esteem and self worth. He assures me that he loves me and that we are in this together for the long haul. I am hoping to try meditation and work with support groups and come to the root of my issues. I also have typical worries/fears==employment for both of us, housing (really don't want to go back to living with Mom again), finances and typical grown up stuff! Self esteem wise, I have taken a hit this year. Which is funny because my fella tells me all the time that he loves me and that I am beautiful. One of these days I will get it. LOL
Im afraid of clowns, so now i cant go to circus.
I worry that I will never be a mother. Everything we do is focused on having a child. We don't make any big decisions without considering it.
Fear of medical conditions I have, especially kidney failure having CKD. It has limited me on activities. In mean time will continue with the prescribed diet and eat healthy. I will try to live my life to fullest within my limitations.
I have a deep fear of being perceived as stupid. It often stops me from speaking up and giving my opinion. It also makes me nervous which causes me to behave awkwardly, forget what I was going to say, etc. It makes me less eloquent which reinforces the fear that I may be an impostor. I hope to gain more self confidence in the coming year although I'm not sure how to go about it. For now, I'm listening to lectures and reading uplifting material.
In the past year, I have recognized my deep fear of being alone since my husband left me. For the first time ever I live completely alone (I've always had flatmates/roommates or my husband in the past). I have never ever had the desire to live alone, and always figured myself for the type of person that would be happiest with a roommate, but I am trying to learn how to be happy on my own. I have already addressed portions of this fear, simply by learning how to be alone for a day at a time mostly. Mostly the way this limits me is by making me increasingly depressed as I spend too many hours alone, so I end up trying to balance enough social activities so I don't feel lonely/sad/afraid, with the fact that I have a ton of chores/self care to do which is best done alone. I would like to get to a point where being alone does not trigger loneliness or depression, where socialization is something I do to enrich my life, not as a band aid that only sometimes works to convince me I'm not all alone. This particular issue I'm just going to keep practicing on - trying to make a regular chore day on the weekend (which will not have socialization) to allow me to prep for the week, and trying not to compulsively over schedule myself.
I have a fear that I'm not good enough to be loved just as I am, by a partner. So I do things for my partner to show how worthy I am. I don't have a plan for letting go of that fear; I just know that I need to. Otherwise I can never fully reveal myself, never experience true intimacy or confidence in my relationships.
I'm afraid of what people think of me and of disappointing people or making them angry. But I'm working on not putting everyone else's feelings before mine. My wants and feelings are just as valid as theirs and I shouldn't stay silent because I'm afraid to make someone else feel uncomfortable. I need to constantly remind myself that I am not for everyone and that is fine.
I fear rejection, stability, not being able to be the person I need to be for my kids, not being good enough? Not being a good mom. On the mom front I’ve been over compensating, I need to stop that. It stops lots of thing and makes me feel ruled by fear at times. It stops me from looking for a job that I feel pays what I’m worth, it hangs on me like wet clothes. Getting over it isn’t a 1 year thing it’s a lifetime.
That my present stability (mental, physical, financial, career works) will collapse without warning. I have worked hard to stabilize all these but I still have little or no safety net if something goes wrong (again). Stupid politics threatens all of these. I am afraid if I get knocked down again, I will not have the strength and resources to get up (yet again). -¶- Letting go or overcoming this? The GTFO plans are long-term so if breaking-point strains are also long-term, so then I have a chance to implement my aims to provide for my own security. In other areas: keep working hard for financial security and career strenths, which supports a healthier outlook mentally. Put in more effort on the physical health side, which will be even more important after the next surgery... no excuses. -¶- Helpful to look back at last year and see that my weight loss HAS improved my ability to take care of house and home, giving me many more spoons than I had in the past. I need to remember this more, and act on the fact that I don't *hurt* all the time like I did.
I simultaneously fear that I'm better alone, that I'm never going to find someone, or that I will find someone, and they won't be right (whether or not I realize it). If I'm better, happier, more successful, and more loving when I'm alone, does that say something bad about me and my (in)ability to love? If I'm never going to find someone, and I'm happy that way, is it because I'm deeply wounded and just don't know how deeply I am wounded? What if I did find someone, and I overlooked all of the red flags, and I ended up in a totally wrong relationship (as I've done in the past)? What if I find someone, and there are NO red flags, and then they end up being the wrong match for me, anyway?
I’m afraid of never discovering my purpose.
That I don’t measure up? That I’m not a good enough person for my family and friends.
A fear I have is not being enough and now that I have identified it I am starting to overcome it. When I realize that I am all I need, I can let this thought and this part of me go.
I still grapple with the fear of being bad at my job.
I am afraid of teaching. I want to teach so badly, but I'm so afraid of screwing up and not being intelligent enough. I know that I have great practical knowledge, but putting it together into a coherent curriculum seems very intimidating and complicated. I am afraid that students will not feel engaged or helped. I don't want them to feel what I felt when I was a student, which was that they were ignorant know-nothings who didn't matter. I want them to know that there are no secrets to design; it's a practical skill. I want them to feel empowered to begin their own business immediately, to not have to wait and depend on the whims of employers for their own advancement. I want them to know how to branch into all types of design, to draw from all their skills so that they can run a flexible design business. But I'm afraid that when it comes down to lecturing, I won't be good enough. That I won't be organized, that my instruction will be too anecdotal & not 'university level' enough. I am also afraid of researching something - I am afraid that I won't put in the proper time and won't understand the concepts the way others do. I don't have the gift of talking about design in the way other people do; I don't have the references and the theory behind it. I am afraid I'll come across like a fraud, or come up with very obvious ideas that people have already considered in much more detail then me. I know the only way to get over these fears is to face them head on; I am aiming to get a teaching position this year. If not a position, then teaching a workshop. I think that would be a good starting point and launching my online course would be a super good easy way to get into it also. That's my focus for our time in Berlin this autumn; strategizing, writing content for and creating the online course which I can pitch to some universities.
I have a great fear of spiders! I am not sure if I will be able to overcome it. Will have to do some research on it.
fear that I'll have no one to love me in the future. However, I'm happy to say this has appeared to have been resolved.
Fear of losing my strength, and my reputation of being strong. This has been my identity for over a decade now, and I only recently realized how tough this transition has been away from Strongman. I've done energy work and will continue to focus on daily behaviours that focus on my health. I am strong and my strength will take a long time to dissipate; I will maintain it for a long time, and I can ramp it back up in the future if and when my body is able. But for now, health.
driving. it makes me crazy that i can't just get in the car and do what i need to do. i will continue to work on it. and also let more people know my secret so it doesn't limit me as much. i am also not sure why i am so ashamed of it.
I am afraid of being wrong. It's not about being perfect, it's about being judged for being wrong and then punished. This is likely where my anxiety comes from.
Fear of failures is mine and a popular one. I plan on practicing overcoming this starting in January.
Copied directly from 2016: I have a fear of food. It's a fear that has begun to become crippling, which scares me. I have psychosomatic reactions when I eat foods I don't perceive as "ok". I over analyze all food options when I am out to eat, which means I rarely go out to eat at all. I miss out on a lot of experiences I think I would like. I imagine it must be fun to try new foods or have variety in your diet. Or have an egg sandwich every once in a while in he morning or a taco at night. Added this year: Dating is a nightmare. I dont drink. I dont eat. And make up excuses that other people notice. I hate to go on vacation with people because I walk into a food hall or restaurant and wander looking for nourishment that doesnt send me into panic attacks. And as much as I want to change, I'm scared it won't happen, or I wont be able to.
For as long as I can remember, I have had many fears that range from vividly seeing myself or someone I love get violently killed to humorously imaginging myself tripping down the stairs and breaking an arm. For a long time these fears ruled my life. With daily spiritual work, I get stronger and the voice that was shouting out these fears about physical danger is more often a whisper. In the coming year I want to meditate / pray more so I will continue strengthening the loving, positive voice in me.
I’ve already written about my isolation and my fears about where that will lead and my inability to overcome it. That is a major thing that I want to say again here that I hope to begin overcoming this year. That will involve managing my time, being honest with Hannah, finding a new therapist, taking the initiative to insert myself into social situations, and believing in myself to keep trying. But I also need to write more about continuing to believe, because there is a growing fear that I’m struggling with even more. I’m struggling to not feel hopeless about what is happening politically in this shithole country. As of this writing (9/17/18), Christine Ford has come forward with her account of Brett Kavanaugh sexually assaulting her. It’s all over twitter and every news outlet and the more I see the headlines, the more I find myself wanting to look away. I know it’s not ok, but I want to not read about it. I don’t want people’s takes, I don’t want to engage in the debates about how it’s being talked about. And it’s because I don’t believe that it will make any difference. Nothing matters anymore. They’re going to put another godawful rapist in power. They’re going to give him a lifelong position on the supreme court. They’re going to undo Roe v Wade. Things will keep getting worse. No one will stop it. And I’m afraid. And I feel so guilty for being so scared, but I’m so so scared nonetheless. I feel exhausted scrambling after the idea that we have any power or will ever have any true representation. All we can do is watch a bunch of rich old white men burn everything down while Colin Kaepernick gets blacklisted for what they call disrespecting a national symbol. I hate the ruling class of this country – I truly do. It is nothing if not evil, and I need to find new ways to cope. I’m writing this all down just to put it out into the ether bc carrying it around with me isn’t helping. Finding a new therapist is going to be really important, I think.
I have a lot of financial fears - that I won't be able to make ends meet... That I am unworthy or incapable if love... They paralyze me, each differently. I plan to learn to better be frugal, and build myself up.
I have a fear of not earning enough money to provide for my retirement, as well as not being able to provide assistance when my kids may need it as adults. We don't live excessively, and yet we still only have a little left over to save. I worry it won't be enough. I am trying to find a job that pays double my salary, in order to overcome that fear, but it has proven difficult.
My husband is 75 and although he is in good health I am afraid when he smokes or donks too much.
I have a fear of never having enough money to survive in this place without being in debt. This scarcity mind set keeps me playing small on some level and I would love to switch to living in abundance so I can create a relaxed lifestyle. At least in this aspect.
I have a fear of failure that keeps my from completing things - if I make it up to the penultimate step and then stop, I can't actually fail. I currently have a pile of crafts I'd like to sell, and a 75% completed grad school application - I need to just push through those last steps to get things done.
The greatest fear that I have is that something will happen to my kids. I do not think it will be something I will ever be free of. It is like breathing. I suppose it has limited me, but mostly, it has pushed me to be honest with my kids about the choices they have every day. I can't keep them from harm, but hopefully I can teach them how to be in the world where anything can happen. And to see the beauty and good in the world around them.
That I am different, odd, and behave "off", and don't fit into this rigidity of shitty Asian values. I plan on letting it go by letting go of the whole world in the coming year.
I am fearful that I am going to spend more of the middle years of my life alone. I need to become more open to stepping outside of my comfort zone to try to meet acquaintances, one of which hopefully might become my partner at some point.
I still fear death, either my own or my children or husband's. I say that every year. Is it even possible to overcome this? I haven't found a way.
I fear getting older, the physical limits. Things I used to be able to do and now can not. Age is not the actual fear, just loosing flexibility and rebounding.
I have a fear of failure. When I feel myself about to fail, I simply stop trying. It's basically the opposite of a growth mindset - when I feel myself approaching that potential of failing, I shut down, and ironically, end up actually failing. This fear of failure also dovetails with my fear of disappointing people - I'm so used to being competent and in charge that I struggle with not living up to my self-image/ what I imagine others think of me. In the coming year, I hope to try to be vulnerable with others in my program, especially when I'm approaching that feeling of potential failure.
A constant fear of failure, which manifests in different ways. With my children, there's a constant fear that I will handle a situation wrong and either coddle them too much so they aren't strong enough as they grow up, or that I am too impatient and not acknowledging their limitations as children. With my work, there is a fear of giving a wrong answer, which can immobilize me or make me very inefficient. With myself, there is a fear that, as I grow older, I am missing out on opportunities to do things that make me happier... a more fulfilling day to day life, travel, outside time.
A fear I have is “losing control.” Losing control and having others witness it. Control around emotions, image, money, safety, security, relationships, experiences... and of course it’s been limiting in all those areas. I become emotionally charged (usually anxious) and “go offline,” resorting to my go-to responses: judgment, rigidity, avoidance... I will let go and overcome this fear in the coming year by trusting more. I will trust my body, I will trust people around me, I will trust the world and society. I am safe, protected, healthy. I don’t need to hold on so tightly. There is a universe of goodness and rustling leaves and sunshine and love out there, if I let myself experience it without the veil of fear, judgment, avoidance, etc. Let go, let live, let love.
I have a fear of showing people my work. It limits me in so many ways! Intrviewing, obviously, but volunteering, creating and sharing my work in meetings. I will speak up my opinion but shy away from showing my work. The result is I do and think much more than anybody knows about.
Irrelevance. Keep learning and keep applying/doing.
my fear of leadership has limited me in my career. I hope to embrace the role and work to be an examplar in leadership.
I am still not good with insects and it hold some back from some travel adventures, along with the paralysis I experience when 8 legged creatures and other bugs are nearby. It looks unprofessional when it happens in a work environment too so I really could be doing with overcoming that fear.
Fear of driving. Therapy. Driving lessons.
at this moment, can't think of a fear I've not come to terms with. I accept I cannot control... much. Regarding my (special needs) son; I hope for the best and plan for the worst. I believe I will be alone/on my own (except for my cat, José), and I'm fine with that. I have friends. I enjoy my own company. I know I shall die one of these days, and I hope it's not for a very long time.
My fear is that I will not get any better. I work on it by doing two things - I look for more information and resources so I can get better and I try to just appreciate what I am able to do.
I fear that we Americans are losing our democracy. It’s real, and increasingly apparent. We can only take it back by organizing and involving ourselves in the sick systems we’ve allowed to evolve into oligarchy, until,we can turn things around. This is not a fear to let go, it’s one to spur me (and all of us) to action, again and again and again.
I have been afraid of taking a stand within my own religious community on issues that impact the rights and welfare of women. Why? Because I'm the only woman in a prominent leadership role and my onboarding process into this role was rife with misogyny. I plan on letting it go by remembering all of the women in the community that I lead who are pinning their hopes on my success. And remembering the trust and respect that I have earned over the past two years. It's time to leverage it. All of it.
I'm quoting last year, which was from the year prior: "Haha, still the same from last year, to quote; "Fear of my own abilities, lack of motivation and attention. Learning how to focus, learn to move slowly but continuously." Let's try to continue to work on that." Still there, still working on it.
I definitely have a fear of failure. No matter how many times my peers can tell me I'm smart, childhood trauma convinced me that I wasn't smart enough. I'm working toward getting my BS in Business Marketing, so the formality of a degree should help, and I'm challenging myself with my business regardless of my fears.
Doesn't everyone have fears? My current and largest fear has to do mostly with if I will be able to become a mother. And if I wait too long, and can not have children ... what my entire life will look like. Will I look back and always have regrets? When it comes to relationships ... I have a fear of settling. I worry that I am settling into my relationship, sometimes just because it is comfortable. Work ... I fear that I know I could be strong and a better employee. I give my self pep talks about how I can improve my work, but often I get stuck in a rut. Working with staying in the moment ... focus on what makes me happy, what needs to be done at work, and how I can build a healthy relationship.
As a parent, I can't get over fears of bad things happening to our children both of whom live out of state. I worry about my husband too, but less, so I wonder if it is the distance that exacerbates the fears. I have always followed worry scenarios to their worst and have never been able to stop myself. It happens with minor worries and anticipated difficulties as well as major fears about the kids . So my strategies always are to try to compartmentalize, to rationalize that even if the kids were here, I can't prevent everything. Practice makes perfect, so if I can't think of anything else to do to allay or eliminate the fears, I'll just keep on as I have been.
That failure is not okay. That I will disappoint the people around me. Recognition that I am not responsible for the happiness of those around me.
I'm afraid to fall in love. I never have and I think I'm embarrassed about that to a degree. I love a lot of people - I love them fiercely - but I've never let myself love someone romantically. I don't want to lower the standards I'm struggling to tell myself I deserve, but when I meet someone who wants to get to know me and be with me, I want to be not afraid to let them in and love them in the way I love my friends and family. Some of those people I've loved before have let me down and hurt me, and I've survived it. I need to take that risk for myself for romantic love too.
My biggest fear right now focuses on my daughter, and her ability to take care of herself and to triumph over her own passivity, fears, and anxiety. She has some difficulties with starting and completing school work in a timely fashion, and I want her to learn to push through this. I need to learn to pull back and hold her accountable for her own decisions.
Fear of success. I don't finish things and put them in the world, partly out of fear of what might happen when I do. Gotta get over that and just do it.
Fear of lacking money has stopped me from thinking about making art. I plan to make more time to make art this year.
I have a fear that everyone I know and love will disappear. I don't think of this often, but when someone asks me what fear I have I say this.
I have a fear of not getting good grades and it has made me stressed and I've lost time because of it so I plan on studying hard and making sure I have everything done.
Fear that people will think I am weird or pathetic if I try for things that are a little bit out of my league and don’t get them. Fear that things are a little out of my league. I want to start thinking I deserve things without becoming a raging entitled narcissist
I don't really have any severe fears that would limit me in any way
My fear of not finding the man for me. I'm trying to open my ideals to knowing great friends and men to date. Give dates a second date not just first to get a better feel. Expand but attending more social events to meet in person first not just apps. Talk to friends about dates to go on. Be more positive about finding and him finding me at my time to find the other half.
I fear being inadequate or merely adequate. Trying to always have evidence that I am beyond adequate constantly limits my ability to see the things I have in my life and how grateful I should be.
I don't know that it's a fear per se, but I constantly have the old childhood notion that I'm not enough: not good enough, not smart enough, not "together" enough, not accomplished enough, etc. and that's the reason why I'm single, not getting promoted/recognized, feeling validated, etc. It limits me by closing off my ability to really see myself and all that I do, all that I am capable of. It also keeps me from enjoying my own accomplishments and savouring victories, whether it's something banal like paying my property taxes off before they're due (yay, adulting!) or meeting a new challenge head-on and discovering that it wasn't as difficult as I thought. I've literally just finished a "living well with stress" webinar at work and it reminded me of all the myriad things I do that contribute to my real and perceived levels of stress, like personalizing events, magnifying situations, thinking in all-or-nothing ways, etc. I plan on making this list of self-sabotaging, stress-inducing behaviours more visible so I can be more mindful of them and let some of these things go, to control what I can and help myself calm down faster and more often.
I'm fearful of too much change, yet also fearful of not enough change. I like the status quo in my life, but I long for adventure. But I'm fearful of radical change. My family life is wonderful, even though my kids are out of the house. I have a supportive wife, parents, extended family. I have a stable job in an organization where I've worked for 25 years. Which I'm afraid to leave to see what else is out there.
Fear of being alone. Of people realizing I am fraud and abandoning me. Fear that I will not have the skills to be a successful adult (even though I am now 40). Why don't I feel emotionally ready for my tasks? Do all people feel this way?? I hope to be able to overcome these emotions by actively LIVING. Facing challenges instead of shying away.
Fear of facing my ex. Fear of facing parts of my past in general. Fear of moving in the wrong direction. I plan to reflect on all decisions carefully so, even if I don't know if it's the right thing to do, I know I have evaluated it. I also plan to not let other people get in the way of my happiness. I need to put myself first.
My fear of "settling" and "not measuring up" -- I hope to battle this by focusing on successes which might not be "prestigious" but are more important to me.
I am terrified of his reaction when the court date comes. So I have bought myself time and not tols him that I have moved ahead. I am trying and failing an dtrying again to maintain boundries with him and following my lawyer's advice to the letter. I am leaning on my support system and althugh smoking is not the healthiest coping strategy, it gets me out of the house. I will stick with my plan, pack a bug out bag, just in case and remind myself that a small flat without him is waitin gfor me on the other side of all this.
Not much progress.. but I would redefine my fear. Not so much losing as not being good enough and not going out of my comfort zone. I want to adopt (and adapt) the mantra "Do one thing every day that scares you" - once a day seems undoable, but as often as possible is still challenging.. but not overwhelming.
I fear to much what people think of me. Do they like me? Am I making them happy? Am I making a good impression on them? Am I embarrassing myself? Am I impressing them, are they impressed by me? Do they think I'm a good actor? Have I proven myself? I guess this comes down to fear of being rejected, being hurt by rejection; physically hurt. Shunned by society and shamed [by my sister and mom, and dad]. The family is the root I guess. Lots of twisted shaming and shunning, and mental torture. I'm tired of it. I've been meditating, and working a 12 step program to find freedom from these fears (this fear). There's a book on Toltec wisdom I am also putting in practice, about detachment, attachment, and knowledge, and to become the master of what you know, rather than mastered by what you know. The simplest, and perhaps most cliched answer, is one day at a time. One moment within a day, at a time. Second by second, through presence and awareness, and action. Dude! Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Much like last year, where a fear of living up to expectations could be countered by trusting my abilities and being more present and persistent, I think I still have a similar fear of failure or even just subpar performance relative to my own standards. I think I can overcome this (or at least work towards overcoming it) by 1) putting my head down more and working [against a plan]; 2. accepting that failure or shortcoming is part of the process; and 3. committing to constant re-evaluation so that I can be comfortable repeating #s 1 & 2 en route to possibly performing at a level that's commensurate with my values or standards.
I am afraid of failing, so I haven't been trying. I want to give myself the room to be hurt, to feel hurt. I want to let myself fall in love.
I fear failure. I'm risk-averse (at least while sober), and I really hate losing money. I don't try things because I don't want to fail. I give up on activities if I'm not immediately good at them. Turns out talent can only take you so far (not far, in my case). I also fear aging. I feel that I'm at the turning point of my life--the divide between young and old. I've had the same body since I was nineteen, but my face is changing. If we get ten faces in our lifetime, I think this is face four. Maybe it's turning into face five. It's difficult to know what I look like; the brain is a trickster. I still like what I see in the mirror, but photos sometimes horrify me. I've spent decades being vain, but now I avoid the camera. How can I overcome these fears? How can I let them go? It's easy to make small forays--try a new hobby, invest a little money, or stop wearing makeup for a while, and find an older mentor to inspire me. But can this really uproot deep fears?
Having to earn money doing something I don't lije or not being able to. I wI'll look for ways to. ..
Fear: Who am I after both of my children go to school. I have had the identity of part-time stay at home mom for 8 years now. Now I have more flexibility in my schedule to work more outside the home and finish more projects inside the home. Also, maybe having a little down time (if I let myself do that)! I'm going to try to be more gentle with myself and my children in the next few months. See how it all pans out and try to take care. I do know that if I let my self care go down the tubes then life is harder for my family.
I constantly fear being 'not enough'. Not enough for my partner. Not enough for my job. Not enough for my friends. Not enough for my family. Not enough for my community. Not enough for my synagogue. This constant fear. It's overwhelming. And when I'm in a spiral of self-doubt and internal self-immolation, those words float around me and pull me further down. What I want to hold on to this year is hope. Hope that I can do enough, even if I can't do it all today. Hope that my community will thrive. Hope that my family will be healthy and happy. Hope that my partner and I will be able to start a family of our own. Hope that my partner will do well in graduate school. And by holding on to these, rather than the fears of not being enough, I want to focus on positive aspiration for 5779.
I'm afraid my husband and I won't have any time to get our own lives and health on track or settle into any reasonable semblance of a routine without taking care of aging parents, and that's going to be really unpleasant because my mother is toxic and his is a hoarder who keeps us at arm's length and denies there are issues. Two months before putting our youngest child into college, my mother needed me for 5 weeks out of state. While I was gone, my mother's health declined, and 3 days after I returned, my husband went into the hospital in kidney failure. I didn't get to spend the time with my children that I wanted to. Now both are away. I feel robbed of time. My husband still needs my help, and now my mother wants to come visit "indefinitely." I have anger rising about it like the flood waters after the storm. What I should be afraid of is my anger. That's the real killer.
With another Fall a month or so ahead and my spate of health problems coming from nowhere, mortality still remains an ongoing concern. What do I need to do about purpose and understanding? Where does my faith need to influence my days? How do I prep those I love for my moving on? No easy answers here, just the need to confront things.
I fear failure and let it keep me from pushing myself to try new things. I'm hoping articling will help me face it head on
A fear I have that has limited me not having enough money to support myself . To an extent, this is true because I as an individual do not have enough money to support all of my needs. While I don't think I can overcome this fear, at least not right now because it is a fact of my life, I plan on letting it go by living in Jerusalem and volunteering for the second half of this year.
I'd like to let go the fear of being different. Everyone from home is married, buying homes, having kids; everyone I lived with in New York is doing a career thing, living luxuriously and mingling with important people. I'm on neither of those trajectories right now and I'm scared that being different means I'm failing. I think letting it go will require some meditating on what I actually want, and planning to make sure I know how to accomplish it in the long term. I'll need some help with the planning part.
I think just this morning (9/17/18), I realized how the fear of intimacy, of possibly being criticized or someone knowing the little parts of my life that are not so pretty, mostly the annoying things about my life, like leaving out bags and not cleaning all the time, would be the parts of my life that would make me unlovable. I rarely hear good things about how I am doing and rarely need to have that to encourage me, but I think I am my harshest critic and sometimes get really overwhelmed in my own head. Some of it comes from the knowledge of how much I am so short in so many places, but I also realize that I am sometimes working really hard. I'm not sure what a year from now will look like, but I pray that I am able to see the fruits of my labor.
I don't have any major fear that change the way that I live my life.
I fear disability and dependency. It tells me I can't do certain things. I will work on acting in spite of fear and letting go of things I can't control. Keep going to gym. Accept my body.
I am scared of ketchup and sharks, so it limits me from eating ketchup and limits me from swimming deep in the ocean.
I don't have any fears, therefore, nothing holds me back.
My irrational fear of being on my own forever is still there, I have definitely not let it hold me back this year but at the same time it hasn't gone away. I think I need to do more dating and be more pro-active when I'm out and about. Make sure I talk to men and approach them when I'm out and be more forthcoming and ballsy - take a leaf out of Lucy's book! I think that will help my confidence and hopefully show me that there are plenty of good men out there.
I worry about money a fair amount. I'm a classical musician, which is a fancy way of saying I'm chronically underemployed, partly by choice and partly by circumstance. My husband makes good money as a doctor, but he went to medical school in midlife as a career change, and his time horizon for retirement savings is short. We just have to do the best we can at this point. I don't think we'll be on the streets, but it's a bit dicey. I'm also worried about aging in general. I'm at a point where I can no longer take my health for granted. I've been pretty sedentary for awhile and I'm starting to feel it. I resent the fact that I need to exercise just to get to an acceptable baseline, but that's the reality. I'm hoping that if I do it enough to appreciate feeling better than I do now, I will understand why it's worth it and keep it up.
Ongoing fear of no descendants, and not having enough time with chosen 'family'. I plan to prioritize time with friends and family over income opportunities.
I fear that I am unlovable and ugly. I fear that no other human will be romantically compatible with me and that I will be alone forever.
I have a fear of being rejected, so I don't like to put myself in a position where I am being rejected. This has really limited my professional growth as I am afraid to apply for new opportunities, due to the fear of people saying no to me. I am learning that it is not a rejection of me, the person, and it is ok to try and to fail, get up and try again.
I have a fear of financial instability. And with my upcoming wedding, my fear is currently heightened, due to uncertainty regarding healthcare eligibility and my fiancée's need to potentially work a lot less due to medical issues. My fear is that I will be consumed by debt and unable to make it financially. In the coming year, my goal is to reduce debt, spend wisely, make smart decisions regarding healthcare and employment, and build a cushion. I also want to reduce the amount of stress I have built around this fear.
I have a fear of getting stuck, which translates into a fear of commitment. Also, general impostor syndrome. I think impostor syndrome isn't something you overcome, but perhaps something to let go. For the first fear, I think that moving to a new place and needing to explore is a great way to overcome it.
I'm afraid of being alone. I get in relationship after relationship and push too far, too fast. I trust when I shouldn't, and ignore red flags like it's my job, all because I have this primal need to have a partner. This year, I'm going to try to lean back and be much more relaxed about my relationships. Right now, I think I'm doing a good job of that with my new girlfriend.
Fear of doctors. Not sure how, but I think generally taking better care of myself will help overcoming it.
I fear being unlovable drives my codependency and drives people away from me. It's messing with my marriage (one of the things - what is MY side to deal with, it isn't all me, even if it feels like it sometimes.) I struggle to hold onto boundaries and keep my act together...and then realize I am struggling so hard and so tired because it is just that: an act I am keeping up. People-pleasing is a nasty thing. I've finally snagged the book on Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud, even got the workbook for it (and the marriage version as well, and THAT workbook too! And the Beyond Boundaries book is on its way to me...guess I should see if it has a workbook too? LOL!) and I am trying to rework myself through this. I dislike intensely feeling like I HAVE to be a doormat for others to be happy, that I have to be miserable to keep things peaceful. I was on track for so long, things were going so well..and I got complacent in this stuff. And I let stuff happen...and I let myself get back into this cycle of insanity. So, it has ruined my relationships all over again. I've let addiction waltz back into the picture because "My sponsor said it's OK to drink, my problem is drugs not alcohol." Yeah, right! HA! I feel like the world's biggest sucker for believing that one. Initially, I didn't...but I didn't go and ask his sponsor...I just assumed he was telling me the truth. Fact is, he probably wasn't telling his sponsor the truth and he wasn't telling me the truth...and he was lying to himself too. And it snow balls from there...I start to make myself believe things because I want to desperately to trust him. "She's just my fishing buddy's sister, there's nothing going on between us! Stop being jealous!" And then I find Facebook text messages where he talks to her about her boobs and stuff. Why don't I walk away? because nothing physical has happened...yet....that I know of...between him and another women. That's about all that has kept me still invested. I won't die, it may feel lime it...but I won't die if he does and I find out. But I will be able to walk away, finally, and not feel guilty for doing so. I guess, that's the shame of it for me...that I should feel guilty at all for his problems...again with the codependency! :( It's so hard right now, there are so many times I feel like running away...like I could just start a new life somehow. But, I have so much to stay here for... He's heading towards the big 5-0 in two years....this is when guys tend to wander in a relationship, right before these life milestones. Find one younger, prettier, someone who doesn't know all the spots and flabby places (and doesn't have any themselves), bigger boobs, blonder, taller, skinnier, more athletic, outdoorsy...basically more of what I am not. Why do I stay? Because I do hate letting go. It fills me with fear... So, do I have a plan. yeah...never let go! Will that work? probably not. Honestly, I don't know what it will look like...but I am sure I will have to face the fear and let go of him...and if it is what is to be...He will work on his stuff, and I will work on mine...and maybe we can stay together. I guess we will see in a year...
I am afraid of being alone for the rest of my life. But I am also afraid of being in an intimate relationship. So that's pretty limiting. I am working with my therapist on my intimacy issues and currently I'm embracing being alone - but only in the sense of intimate male companionship. I am very happy to have quite a few close female friends which keep me very content.
I fear never taking steps towards having a career of some type in comedy writing. I think it has limited me my whole life. This year I resolved to start taking classes and putting myself out there. I took improv classes, a sketch comedy writing class, and a more reflective writing class. But I still think I need to do more. The classroom is a very safe space to test the waters for putting my work out there. In the upcoming year, I need to start publishing content.
I think I have this insane fear of failure that has kinda flown under the radar for a while and has come out when I've pushed myself in new ways this year. I mean it's great that I'm pushing myself but I shouldn't be so insecure about my ability to do math or something. It's really silly to define myself by what others think or the pressure I put on myself. I just think the best way to approach this is to jump head first into it all and keep doing scary things like consulting recruitment. :P
Still the same as last year - criticism and fear of being shamed for attempting creation - but more the blank space of fear of the unknown. Walking towards destiny while blind. Sitting in not-knowing.
This is a big one... certain things that require independence (but far from all) like not wanting to rent a car on my own at an airport and drive with GPS to an unknown place... this has limited me in that I have to ask someone to pick me up or something like that... overcoming or dealing with by speaking with the person involved in my trip... someone close to me (my husband especially) dying and my being left alone... this has limited me with worry at times when he is late for example... overcoming or dealing with by working through it by talking it out and writing... going past my physical limitations from arthritis and the hip surgery... walking and hiking is very hard... lots of things I used to do and can't now... overcoming or dealing with by pushing myself gently and not being lazy... going to doctors... overcoming or dealing with by working through it by talking it out and writing...
I have a major fear of being rejected by others when I share Christ with them. I am working on overcoming that fear and learning that any rejection received is a worthy sacrifice when I share Christ with them through love for them.
I am feeling pretty fearless right now. I have made the decision to retire, am charting my own course and working together with my husband to make a new normal.
The fear of not having a job: loss of income and health insurance, and no certainty of getting another job. I would have quit this job by now if not for that. I plan to be ready to apply other places, and maybe actually apply to some jobs to get practice at it.
Sticking to a plan. I've been "moving" to LA for 4 months now... I plan on not over thinking my decisions and have to remind myself that nothing ever goes as planned. Take chances and be bold.
I've been afraid of being held back by having a baby. I've been scared of it changing me and possibly making me unhappy. I'm afraid that I'll become a less-good version of myself if I'm sleep-deprived, exercise-deprived, and left with little time alone. I've tried rationalizing. A lot. It doesn't work. I think the only way to really let it go is to just do it. I think I'm a strong enough person to get over my fear and find solutions to my needs when things are "real" and hard.
Through some very helpful therapy I've realized a fear that others will end up leaving me if I'm not "good enough." I'm working on letting it go, but it can be hard. I think continuing to challenge this thought when it comes up and continue working in therapy will be helpful.
I worry that I am falling out of love with my partner. It has limited my ability to feel compassion or empathy for his needs. I don't feel like a decent partner or person.
Fear of change being negative, scared to move house, move job, move very much out of comfort zone, take on unnecessary stress. I think it is smart to concentrate on a happy home first but I'll still look for opportunities and try and take them!
Fear of rejection. It has allowed me to stay in on place to too long because I am afraid of being rejected. Not sure how unwell overcome it other than to just go for whatever it s I want to do.
I still have this fear of enabling to make a decent salary . and permanent income. This year my business activity, I hope, will help me with get a self-confidence of my ability to provide - money wise.