Think about a major milestone that happened with your family this past year. How has this affected you?
1. Susan + I became even more distant. 2. I went to ME. to see my parents. 3. I am connecting to my 3 sons every 2 days.
I'm still not talking to my parents unless they reach out to me. They don't do that too often, so contact is at a minimum. Still going well.
This year the biggest milestone was that my sister turned 20. I wasn't there to celebrate with her, so it didn't have a huge effect on me.
Personally, I graduated nursing school, passed the NCLEX, and started my nurse resident job in the medical ICU. This was a lofty goal for me and I can hardly believe all these thing have happened over the last year. There were times where I did not think I was going to make it and almost quit. I cannot believe I was accepted to this new MICU position and I have learned so much about health care as well as about myself.
No more nappies, no more thinking about carrying around nappies! Things move so fast it's hard to notice the changes sometimes! Will see what next year brings.
Although not a clearly defined milestone for myself, my cousin hosted a family and friends celebration in August, celebrating her 40th birthday, her son's 7th birthday, and her mother in- law's 90th birthday. The celebration was also in honor of her mother ( my mother's sister) and our aunt (my mother's brother's wife) who are both battling cancer and, for now, doing very well. We need to celebrate life whenever we can. I am thankful our family had the time together.
Many nephews got married. I wasn't invited to the weddings. This made me sad. I have chosen to replace this feeling of sadness with a new sense of joy and life within myself.
I got married and realized that time with our loved ones is precious and that's all we have in this world that matters. My family has done everything they can for me and now it's time I give back.
My oldest son got married and they held the wedding in Israel, where we all used to live. I hadn't been back since we left in 2003. I cannot stay away that long ever again.
My daughter turned 18 this year. My baby isn't a baby anymore and I'm having a hell of a time letting go. Also...I started school for the 4th time.
Gregg moved to Europe and he’s getting married and I’m upset bu that. Maybe even angry, but I’m not sure why or what it is that upsets me.
Our daughter started preschool. I have to stop blinking. It's going too fast.
My oldest child has transitioned from kindergarten to school. Seeing the joy in her face as she embarks upon her journey of learning is great to see, and helping her with her homework is a significant pleasure to me.
My 97 year old grandmother was moved into full-time care due to Alzheimer's. It's given me hope for another 50 good years on this planet living my best life.
Yesterday we lost our wee dog Rocco after vets confirming a large tumour was attached to his spine. How this will affect us going forward is too early to tell but at the moment the pain is felt acutely. He was an affectionate dog and will be solely missed by everyone. Currently I am torn between the relief that he is no longer suffering and if there was anything we could have done to have prevented this. I am also feeling that for him to pass at the age of 10 was too young for his age and will worry on how our remaining dog Robbie will cope without his brother.
The crises with my parents. It made me step up and take charge. I made a BIG difference, one step at a time and in the process I got the gentle guidance of a 12 step program.
My sister's divorce was final and she got a job. A year ago, my family were worried about her safety and we had been encouraging her in whatever way we could to escape with her kids. She found the strength and courage to do it. Now she is a single mother of two and doing what she can to provide for their physical and mental well-being. The divorce and the job were milestones for her, empowering moments where she felt she could figuratively 'stand up' and feel like her own person, remember that she is real, and strong, and herself. She is a survivor. I have been scared for her, proud of her, I've had a complex tangle of feelings I can't articulate. When the milestones came about, I felt soaring for her. It's a relief that she is safe; it is humbling and profound to see her persevere.
again, no milestones. No one born or died or married. I guess Aunt Mimi died and I went to her funeral. Realized that I will never see that side of my family again and I dont really care. they are *christians* who cannot see anything else and have no concept how hurtful their narrow mindedness is.
No real major milestones that I can think of. I already mentioned my sister(in-law) Dee's passing. My son and I are both in the process of reversing disabling conditions. No births, marriages, divorces, new jobs, etc.
One major milestone with our family is our elder son's having graduated from his day school and moved up to high school. It happened at a tumultuous time in my work life, but I am grateful I was able to be present with him in the last days of school. Our family is affected in that we now are involved in two different schools with two different vacation schedules and two different approaches to Jewish holidays and values. It is wonderful to see him experience and enjoy a much more diverse array of friends and possibilities -- and also scary. I see less of him now, I don't know his friends because we're not all part of the same community. This is a new and different state of affairs for us. I understand that this is part of the long on-ramp to his adult life, in which I won't know nearly as much about him, but it is complicated to send him off to hang out with people whose values I know nothing about. We no longer have a shorthand of assumptions that we share with the kids' friends.
Grandma moved out to Wisconsin. It made me realize that Russ's behavior may make more sense than previously assumed.
My nephew has moved in with his girlfriend, he was basically living there but he did spend 2-3 nights a week at my sisters. This means that my sister is on her own now and I'm worried about that and so I want to do everything that I can to ensure her security.
My son just started high school. I feel like this is the beginning - the time from freshman to moving out seems precipitously slippery and steep. I am keenly aware of the passage of time and of wanting to savor every interaction I have with him. It is scary because it forces me to contemplate my future as well as his. We are going into uncharted waters.
On the day I turned 55, my beloved children took me to Denny's so that I could order off the senior menu for the first time. The evil waitress did not even ask me for ID. I am old. So old.
Each of our kids has had a consequential milestone. Rachel moved to Portland in November. It hurts our heart for her to be so far away. Our relationship with Whitney has been strained--she took a job with a competitor agency and did it in such a way that it caused embarrassment to me. They have slowly become more and more distant from us, which hurts. I think they feel like we have abandoned them, but I'm speculating. Nathan has settled into his job but continues to live at home, saving money. His energy and morale are inconsistent. He's had some stress-related health issues. Diana and I continue trucking along, having had a very steady and stable year.
There have been so many! My uncle got cancer and married, my brother married and got a baby with his wife, my family-in-law had two cat funerals and one new cat and my boyfriend and I spent our first holiday together with my parents. Oh man, my boyfriend and I moved in together! All of these milestones affected me differently, and most of them were very positive.
My brother and his wife were rejected from becoming foster parents. I don't understand why, and I'm sad for them. They really want to be parents, and I'm not having a baby any time soon, so it's not like that can be a distraction for them.
The brother of a close friend went missing while hiking alone in the desert. This was happening just as I was buying equipment and a second vehicle to use for camping trips on my own. Now I am in limbo as my spouse is afraid to let me go and I am concerned with the mess I could leave my family, if I were to go missing on a solo trip.
My 90-year-old mom has gotten more frail and has given up driving just this past summer. She lives in the two-story home we grew up in, and my sister and I are always worried about her. Since I live five minutes away from her, and my sister lives six hours away, I am the primary caregiver. It is stressful and worrisome, and it also is problematic how much my husband helps out as well as my kids. There is a current of resistance from my husband in regard to acknowledging her increased needs. He wishes she had gone to independent living when she had the chance. I mom wishes she had gone 10 years ago....now. But we all have to live with what is, not what we wish had happened.
Bought Anita's car yesterday. Got me to work faster today.
For me Personally it was a milestone to reach the 5-year post cancer diagnosis point which means that I am officially in remission. I’m grateful that my cancer was found quickly and that the treatments went well and that I’m back to normal life and activities. It didn’t necessarily change my life, not like some people say that it did for them, but it did help me stop myself and pause when life starts getting crazy. Stop. Pause. Reboot to realize that life can change at any moment and to maintain focus on what is important. For my family, my daughter became more of a teenager and much less a tweener. She’s still sweet and wants to be with us, for which I am super thankful. I’m also aware that this sweetness may not last and that if it doesn’t it is normal and part of her emotional growth is to figure out how to separate from us. For my parents it was a negative milestone in that my mom went into the hospital, which started her health decline. She’s still dealing with her diminished abilities, both mental and physical, which is hard on her and me. It’s a help to my dads life as his caring for her has given him purpose and focus. I feel for her and her frustrations and wish there was more I could do to help.
I've become more protective of my finances -- even with family members.
Conor is joining the family and we are making room for him. It’s sweet. Also, my family has been wonderfully supportive after my heart attack. I feel blessed.
Sold my childhood home of 30 years. The letting go and change felt really good. Childhood stories held there feel less tangible and more in the past. Especially the painful ones.
That we are definitely adults with adult issues like owning a home and replacing and repairing a deck
My youngest son graduated from College with a BS degree. None of us thought this possible 6 years ago, for he was in the gripes of additions. But through much prayer and tough love we've watched as events took place in his live that we fear would never happen. God has answered prayers and provided strength to preserve.
I converted to Judaism about 3 months ago for the sake of my family. Right now I am feeling ambivalent about it, and also guilty for feeling ambivalent.
Potty training. Much sleep lost. zzzzzzzzz
I don't think there's been a major milestone. Everyone has just sort of stayed where they are and I guess it's affected me in the sense that it's a moment of stability
My brother’s wife is pregnant. This has inspired me to work harder toward creating my own family.
My brother is getting married in 4 days! New sister forever...
I recently spoke on the phone with my mom, whom I've been estranged from for almost two years. It was stressful and emotional, and we agreed to a family meal together. I have mixed feelings. I don't want the stress of being with her, but I also don't want the relationship to be dead.
A major milestone that just happened is that Madison graduated from Preschool and just started Kindergarten on August 22nd. Of course, starting Kindergarten symbolizes the end of young childhood and the beginning of the school age years. She's about to turn 6 years old this week. Our first 6 years with her are already over. The next 6 will see us through to the end of her childhood. The final six will take her to graduating from high school and moving out on her own as an adult. These first 6 years have absolutely flown by. The cliche is so true: the days are long but the years are short. I still so clearly remember rocking and nursing her in the chair in her bedroom when she was a little baby, feeling so exhausted, sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, and also so incredibly in love with this little baby. Children growing up is bittersweet. It's bitter of course because she'll never be this age again. She'll continue to become more independent, and pretty soon she won't sit on my lap, ask me to read her another story, hold my hand while we walk. She's already so big that I can hardly pick her up and hold her for more than a minute. She's not a baby any more. It's sweet because with age and growth comes maturity and real conversations, playing games that I actually find fun, going out places without worrying about nap times, tantrums, or changing diapers. I'm hoping that this next phase of Madison's life will involve her maturing into a kind, funny, energetic, more generous, and more easy-going child.
Tif and I decided to get married! We aren't officially engaged yet, but are planning to do it later this year (she wants to propose to me). I feel so grateful to be sharing a life with her.
Well, I got married - 1 year ago on Sunday. I feel like that is a pretty major milestone and I cannot count the ways that it has affected me. I became a wife, and had to learn the dance of an entirely new family unit. Moving to Texas was another milestone. I've never lived alone in this way, and it is a major adjustment to have a long distance marriage and be away from my nuclear family as well. I still talk to my parents and my husband daily, but my relationship with my husband takes precedence over calling my mom, which is still new. Sometimes being a wife makes me feel very different. It feels bigger, more adult, even though I don't necessarily feel like I have the life experience to be an adult. But I guess I am now... I wonder if this is how adults have felt throughout time.
My mother and sister had a huge fight this past year. The worse I've ever seen. My mother was afraid that my sister might never talk to her again. I have never seen my mother so hurt and scared. I now worry about her so much more then I did in the past. Thankfully, they eventually resolved their dispute, but my childlike impression of my mother as invincible is gone. To a certain extant, I think this situation has brought me and my mom closer together.
With the passing of my father's sister, a whole generation in my family is now gone. Philosophically this is a big moment. For her immediate family, my cousins, her passing has created a storm of emotions. The practical decisions that follow a death will continue that storm. Having been through this twice in the past two years, I know it will pass and try to be a calm port for mycosis.
MICHELLE IS PREGNANT!!!! Baby boy due just AFTER the new year. Baby shower in NJ was terrific ALL my daughters under the same roof! So hard to believe they're all grown married women with kids. Putting together the party favors, they looked like teenagers. Time goes by SO fast. We went into the city, reverse mom used to take daughter, now daughter takes mom. I still LOVE NYC, she's a bit tarnished having to communt, but she loves her job as much as I MISS her so much, especially during this time of year. We can FACETIME, close but not nearly close enough! So VERY grateful for Tandy's job so I can fly stand-by for FREE even though it's a LONG flight!
This past year my parents moved again. This time back to Arizona. I had really hoped they'd stay in California, an easy flight from me. But they can't stay put. I am now just waiting to see what they do next. I am most concerned about their financial stability into the future, and my ability to care for them -both financially and with the distance between us.
A milestone which has just happened is the oldest child starting a new school, the youngest child starting a new year, the husband having more responsibilities and opportunities at work, myself starting a new job. It's been overwhelming! Especially the oldest starting his new school where he does not feel included or that he has friends. He is tired and drowning in homework and relationship issues. This affects me a lot, I want it to be good for him, I want him to be happy and thrive. I believe he will soon, I just want soon to be now...
I’ve been to two of my younger cousins weddings. I’m glad that they are so happy and found the correct man for them. One day I hope it happens to me
My brother’s suicide in January has changed everything. I decided to stop looking away when my mother is verbally abusive to someone in the family and my father shames everyone else into silence. So I publicly named her behavior and successfully predicted my father’s subsequent behavior after mom laid an ambush on another brother. I’ve now put myself on the margins of my parents’ picture of this family and at the center of the picture I want to inhabit. Now I’m thinking much more clearly about who my family is.
The major milestone is the birth of my fourth grandchild. And, actually, the effect has been relatively minor, all things considered. Turns out that managing children is a learned skill and my daughter and son-in-law are doing it well. I am privileged to be part of their lives on a regular basis. So more or less, just good stuff.
Learning to live again after a long walk around so many changes and unexpected setbacks... I thoght life was going to be sad and dull forever, but I started painting it up with bright colors (watercolors, in fact) and my family's support got me this far... Yay us! We're rocking life now :)
My parents moved to Florida from Massachusetts. I'm still struggling with how to be ok with their move. They are physically so far away from me and and with my dad's health being what it is, I'm finding myself sad that I can't see him more often.
The most major milestone is that of my mother's progressing dementia. Although she is still very capable of many things, her memory and some mobility has been limited. It is HARD! I can say this here and not be afraid of looking weak. IT IS HARD!! Everyday I am overwhelmed with next steps and I am simply trying to continue with one day at a time. I just continue to love her and try to help her feel at home and comfortable.
My father had back surgery. It was really moving to see him so vulnerable. I made me appreciate him more, and how resilient he is. It also helped me to experience my youth, and physical strength more profoundly. I also have body learning tools, from fostering my acting, that I believe will help me age more gracefully than he, in terms of physical acceptance and change in regard to the aging process. He's fought aging so much, but I see it coming in me, and I want to flow with it more than he did until his body made him.
Alex took an office job this year, stepping back from professional/freelance music. It's been a mixed bag for both of us. It's been a net positive for me, since he is home more often and bringing in steadier income, but I know he isn't happy with his current work, and he misses making music with his colleagues. It's hard for me to be totally happy about the change knowing that he isn't totally happy about it.
My parents celebrated 50 years together married and wanted to spend their special day with Jennifer and me, which we did at Mounts Botanical Gardens. I was pretty overjoyed at being able to see them reach 50 years, all things considered, but also not surprised because their relationship has always been such a "unit" of two that it makes perfect sense. I was very honored and a little humbled, almost nervous, that they chose to spend the day with us (they even had NY friends in town but selected only us) because sometimes it is overwhelming to realize how much I mean to them, though this doesn't discount my gratitude. They are inspirational to me and my marriage, the 7th anniversary of which happens to fall on this exact day, so my answer is probably not coincidental.
My father (in my view) reneged on my free housing arrangement. It's caused me tremendous stress, and reminded me that I can't really rely on him. The circumstances surrounding it—where he knew the day before as he was saying I could get a cat—also made me pretty upset, because that was a shitty thing to do to me. But my dad does shitty things.
My grandma was diagnosed with cancer. It is terrifying but she's a fighter. She was incredibly active and healthy and strong. Survived tumultuous events growing up in China and continues to inspire me every day. It scares me because it's a reminder that we are all human. Seeing how it impacts my mother has also forced me into acting like an adult. I have to be strong for my mom because she should be allowed to be weak.
My daughter turned 16 this year. In some ways, she is still very much a child but in others she has matured. I am finding it a bit difficult to cope with the idea that in less than 2 years she may have moved away from home and could be on her own. I spend a lot of time with her and I know I will feel a huge void when the time comes. I hope we have prepared her well.
We decided we could afford a vacation home and starting exploring that option. Its actually created a nice environment as we will have options-if we need to escape this crazy country.
My immediate family: My parents have really come around to accepting my FTM transition. My brother even has started to refer to me as his “brother.” All of that has allowed me to feel more comfortable and safe living as my authentic self in my own home. I didn’t know that it held a weight on me until it was lifted. My chosen family (close college friend group): overall I’d say we have grown closer as friends and are far more comfortable. We have always been close, but our discussions have become more raw, reunions more uplifting (I didn’t think was possible), and fabric between everyone has been built. I didn’t feel as close to some of the group as I did others, but I’ve been able to connect and feel on the same page as everyone now. I feel like that’s true for the rest of the group as well.
My parents are getting divorced and it’s kind of dragging. We’ve known about it since early 2017, and my dad lives with this woman in Maryland now so he comes home every now and then. I just hate seeing the toll it’s taking on my mom. She’s trying to keep things civil until the divorce is final but he doesn’t exactly make this easy. He’s a very frustrating person to communicate with and everything has to turn into a fucking production with him. Things will be better hopefully when this process is over, I just hope my mom comes out of it fairly.
Married 30 years, we are better than ever.
We all got a year older! Al is ok! Oh h and Kelsey came to Passover and is coming to Thanksgiving!
oy! I don't have one. I'm working on trying to create one.
I had a great trip to Austin to see my mom and my sister. Best trip I've ever had. My sister invited me on a trip with her, her husband, and my dad. First time we'll be vacationing together!
One of our sons is going through a divorce. For my husband and me, this has made us feel the need to visit him and the grandchildren much more often than we have in the past. This has made us grow closer to not only our son and his kids but, surprisingly, closer to his soon to be ex-wife as well!
My spouse and I started talking about our journey trying (so far unsuccessfully) to get pregnant, after months and months of keeping it to ourselves. It was scary to be so vulnerable with friends, but the process has been really hard, and it feels so much better to be able to lean on more people than just the two of us.
We realized my mother has early signs of dementia and it's affected me significantly. It's made me wonder if I should stay in NYC, but it's also given me an appreciation for my full spectrum of thought and makes me want to more fully live my life.
The were open to discover and accept the real me. They admired me for who I have become and who I aim to be. They show love in every step I take. As I have stated before, my parents offered me the wings, but I learned to fly alone.
Both my dad and I had milestone birthdays this April. We had a lovely party together which was fun, but afterwards I found myself getting really bogged down with all the things I had missed or not accomplished in my 50 years. I'm going to try harder this year to stay in the present and no obsess over the past and future.
Kathryn toddlerized, which brought us to much more fun for both kiddos and a much messier house.
My husband went back to school!!! After 10 years in the restaurant industry he gave a two month notice and took a few months off before classes started. In the 9.5 years we've been together the longest that we have consecutively seen each other was our honeymoon (15 days). Normally we'd see each other one or two days a week and frequently would go four days a week without really interacting in person. I cannot stress how happy I am to have him home!!!!! We've cooked interesting food (so much Indian food), had long walks, watched Harry Potter when I got home from work (his first time!). And he's happier being away from the restaurant environment. Classes began three weeks ago and he's starting to feel more comfortable with being a student. There's been an adjustment on my part (I'm used to a lot more alone time) but seeing each other every day for two months just reinforced hope compatible and happy we are and how thankful I am to have him.
One of my children graduated med school and began residency at Johns Hopkins. To know that I have child literally involved with decisions of life and death is a great blessing to me.
My dad went into treatment for alcoholism again. It has very much fragmented our immediate and extended family over the years. I don't talk with him as much as I should and I when I do it's very surface conversation. I don't feel like I have strong support system in terms of emotional or day to day worries. I worry about his well-being but because this has been a life-long problem I have been tapped out emotionally.
I lost my first baby this year. It was a boy, his name was Jonah. I was 22 weeks pregnant when I found out that part of Jonah's brain hadn't developed, and wasn't going to. It was a viable pregnancy, but Josh and I had to make a choice based on very little information. The doctors couldn't tell us how bad the prognosis might be, or how much risk. So we chose to end my pregnancy. But I think about Jonah every single day and I miss him. It has changed who I am and how I see the world completely.
The birth of by brother's daughter, Madison, was a major milestone that happened with my family in January. She is such an adorable addition to the family! Madison has given me a genuine reason to spend a lot more time with my family. I love seeing her, and our family has a newfound reason to all get together. For example, I usually do not take work off for the first day of Rosh Hashanah, but I did yesterday. I went to synagogue at Stephen Wise with Madison and had a great time with her there. She learned how to stick our her tongue during services - I kept sticking mine out and she would copy me. It was so freaking cute. I normally avoid services on Rosh Hashanah and opt to go to work rather than spend time with my family, but this year was totally worth it because of her. In return, I am also spending more time with my brother, sister, and parents.
We moved my sewing rooms into the living room and created one large space. It really helped out a lot of areas in the house and has helped me stay organized.
I lost my last grandparent. My childhood is officially over.
Natalie and Justin are finally getting divorced, and at the same time this was happening Natalie came out as gay. Truthfully I never had a clue that my sister was gay until she told me, and I am happy that she is finally starting to feel like she can live the way she has always wanted to. I'm sad that she felt so oppressed and cowed into being what everyone wanted her to be instead of what she wanted to be. My parents reacted in two totally different ways. Dad was "unimpressed" but accepting. Mom is in denial and does not want any information about Natalie's new partner, Melissa. She wants to continue their relationship as if she never heard the news. I am sure that both parents will come around in time in their own ways. It's tough for them and difficult to expect that the could be open to it considering they are both Jehovah's Witnesses. I am supportive of Natalie in both milestones - the divorce and coming out - because I love her and I want her to be happy. She deserves it.
I got promoted, which was a very significant pay raise. Unfortunately, I crashed my car and we had to spend it on a new vehicle. I haven't yet felt any new responsibilities, if anything I have less. I am not transitioning well back into life after deployment. I always say the wrong thing, it feels like.
Major milestone with my family would be them meeting Austin. It's affected me in more ways than I care to mention. It all feels less welcoming and more judgement. But also in a way it's pushing me to be more independent and fight for what i believe in. Buffy dying. I'm not sure how its affected me cause i haven't had time to process it. Since I got the news while i was at work. The following Saturday it was just sad. Definitely not the best year for my family!
Always the same. That terrible word. Divorce. The word that means that life will never be the same. That your children will never have the same memories they had before the divorce.That all the old photos have a new, terrible meaning. That they foretell a bad ending. That you won't be holding someone's hand in the end, the person you began your life's journey with, the person you always thought would be there for you. That man is gone and not gone and that is even more terrible. Because now you are divorced.
I retired from my full time career, it was scary but the right decision. I am just now beginning to get into a new routine that allows me to both work and play.
I have spent so much of my life defining myself according to the expectations of a sibling who was emotionally, psychologically, and sexually abusive, and within the last few years, I finally realized the extent of the abuse. She has consistently indicated that I am the problem, so she is no longer in my life. This year, I decided that I have the right to say that I'm an only child. It sounds simple, but it has freed me from so much anxiety when strangers or acquaintances ask, "Do you have any siblings?" which inevitably leads to, "Are you close?" or "Do you keep in touch?" or "Oh, she doesn't live too far. Do you see her often?" Part of my healing process has been recognizing my obligations over my body, my emotions, and my life. I'm not obligated to prevent abuse. I'm not obligated to try to be close with someone just because we're genetically related. I'm also not obligated to politely answer questions about a family member, or, when pried, to eventually have to answer that I haven't spoken with her in two years. I'm only obligated to take care of myself, and right now, that means putting myself at the center of my own family unit of one. It's changed so much for the better.
Our daughter has begun to drive. Symbolic of art further independence and making an adult life for herself.
Job loss and being treated like shit and lied to by the executive director at my last long term temp assignment. It demonstrated to me once more that integrity is more often than not an impediment to workplace success, and that even good people are afraid to stand up for what is right.
My daughters have become woman, and one of them divulged that she prefers the company of women in low heeled shoes. The change of life has brought the expected dramas, but really it hasn't been that bad. I've certainly seen families with a harder time of it than us. I'm very proud of both of my girls. It's been fun watching them grow and become interesting people, and I'm hoping they'll keep a strong grip on their life as they go forward.
i guess it's been a "good" year that there haven't been any major crises among my very large family, and unusual that there were no major milestones, either. My middle sister and her then-11-year live-in companion got engaged last spring and are getting married this November, so that's a semi-milestone, but not entirely fitting into "this year," and doesn't affect me all that much. My youngest nieces (twins), youngest of my younger sister's 4 kids, are seniors in high school this year (starting last month), which makes me feel my age, for sure. I turned 64 last month, and because of the Beatles' song, this feels like a major milestone for me, especially as I have no one to "feed me" or "need me," exactly. I'm sad about being lonely. Because of the near-death of our mother 2 years ago, when my sisters came in for her 85th birthday this past April, I arranged ahead of time and during and right after that visit to get all our mom's end-of-life financial and final wishes paperwork updated and sent paperwork to our brother and both sisters when it was ready, filing the originals here in one binder (already started by our mom, 15 years ago). Doing that for her and with my siblings, I realized I have NOTHING updated for myself (Will, Power of Healthcare or any kind of Attorney, last wishes). I also have a very outdated contact list with inaccurate info for friends and family to be notified. I need to do all that. On my list.
We moved to Canada, and it changed everything! We have a little Canadian/American baby, Terrence is gone HALF the time and we’re away from everyone we know.
Same as last year, the ongoing tension and disappointment of knowing my parents voted for Trump weighs on me constantly. It still feels like a betrayal. It still feels like I can't recognize my parents as the people who raised me. (What happened to my Chicano Studies majoring, Democratic National Convention reporting, Kennedy button wearing mom? What happened to my environmentalist, science-obsessed dad? Where are the people who got me hooked on the West Wing? What the fuck?) This has disintegrated my sense of belonging to my own family, and I worry that the distance will continue to grow. I hate myself for writing about politics before this: Grandma was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. It feels completely unreal -- she is the most health-conscious person in our family. She has spent every day of her entire life taking care of sick people and somehow maintained incredible optimism and a love of existing in her own body. She kept talking about how much she regrets not continuing to take art classes, and how she intends to sign up for a class soon. She told me she thought she would live to 100. We all thought she had so much time. This might be the last year we have with her, which is totally unfathomable to me. I think she understands me better than anyone else in my family and I don't know what I'll do without her.
A major milestone that passed was one year without our little Penelope on march 17th. It was surprisingly ok to get through. My hubs and I spent the day together just us two, bought some flowers, threw them off the pier, and thanked her for showing us how great life is. I think experiencing an early miscarriage when no one else knew we were pregnant was difficult for our family to support us. My husband's family didn't really know how to support or what t say but my family was supportive in their own way. It's hard because at first, everyone is reaching out for the first week or so. However, it's the random times it's hard and when I would share this, people would tell me that it gets easier and their empathy almost runs out. Except for my husband; he was ever-present and supportive the entire process and still remains supportive. Overall though, I would say our loss has helped us be more grateful, live our lives to the fullest, and grow closer as a couple. A new milestone we are approaching is actually becoming parents. What's more, we are expecting a baby now! We couldn't be more excited.
My parents remodeled their home. We've lived in the same house for nearly 25 years, it is the first and only home my parents have owned. My parents are pretty tight with money, a fact that allowed my sister and I to have very privileged lives, despite being a squarely middle class family. Now that my sister and I are both financially independent, they're able to use their money for their own pleasure. It's been fun (and sometimes stressful) to see them take on this project and finally have their dream home, with no expenses spared.
the kid started kindergarten this year. i can't believe he's old enough to go to school and it makes me sad that he's growing up so much. i'm also worried about bullying and asshole kids. he has two moms and despite living in a "liberal" city, kids are assholes.
This year my dad got a new teaching job. He was kind of miserable at his last teaching job and so far (after a few weeks) he is much happier. He seems like he has found the good parts of teaching. It makes me happy because he is happy and I feel more secure about my family's future because now he may keep teaching. It also makes me feel happier and more confident about my own future because I want to be a teacher so it is important to me to see that my dad could have a good experience.
My husband and I celebrate 10 years of marriage. We didn't have a major celebration (well, we went to Thailand) or make a big deal out of it. For me, it is a big deal because before I met him I never thought that I would get married. I never thought that I would be willing to be connected to another person in this way. I didn't think that marriage could be good and fulfilling because I had really only ever known divorce. Here's the thing - we like each other, like for real, we enjoy each other's company and we get each other. I'm very grateful.
Rachel graduated college this past spring! It was such an accomplishment for her, considering the struggles she went through to get to that day, and we are all so proud of her for all of her work. And she just started her first job yesterday! It's made me realize that she and I really are adults, and with that comes the responsibilities of caring for our parents in ways that we haven't had to before.
The bad: over Memorial Day weekend, J, A, and I watched as a young (24) man dove in front of a pickup truck. I stood with him as he took his last breath. But I feel selfish- I was trying to block my son from seeing what had happened. I wasn't really there to help or make the young man feel better. When I ran up to him, I knew he was dead. It's caused problems for all 3 of us. A has had times of horrible anxiety and depression. We're all in therapy. A good milestone: we went on vacation for the first time in 5 years. It was wonderful to spend time just NOT HERE.
See Answer 1. On a smaller note, Megan and I adopted another cat—Sammie! After 17 years with our previous one, Maxine, I wasn't sure I’d be ready so soon. But it’s been a blessing. Non-animal lovers smirk away, but this is the only real parenting experience we childless couples get. As the years tick by and I watch my friends’ and family’s kids grow up (so quickly!), I have come to realize that we are missing out on a profound experience. I do not regret that we did not have children. Yet, I’ve come to better understand the deep meaning and sense of purpose it provides for so many. Deborah once remarked that we aren’t having kids because, as artists, we already see the world in passionate and spiritual ways. We don’t need children for the transcendence they provide for so many because we experience that every day. But Deb died 12 years ago, far too young, and I’m not so sure I believe her anymore.
Many sad ones, but I’ll focus on the good. Just 6 days ago, our second daughter, Vivienne was born. Our world is turned upside down in the best way possible. Her big sister Sylvie loves her so much already. I can’t wait to see their relationship grow over the years. My adult relationship with my younger siblings is so precious and I’m glad we could give these two girls that opportunity.
My only living grandparent, my Grandpa Mort, turned 94 in August. After a very turbulent year of health issues, to be able to call him on his birthday and having a lengthy, spirited conversation with him was so meaningful to me.
There were really no major milestones this year. There should have been. My husband should have gotten our granddaughter to the DMV to get her learners' permit... but as usual... he procrastinated. To be honest, doesn't hurt my feelings. The longer we can keep her out of a car the better. She doesn't always make the greatest decisions. So... major milestones... none. It was mostly an uneventful year, thank goodness!
My daughter graduated high school, applied, was accepted and went to college. I am now child free - parenting only from afar (and paying for things). My stepsister is expecting her first child in a month. I divorced my mother in a more permanent way - only to discover (unfortunately) that the behaviors that ultimately caused to me cut off all contact with her were well known and fairly endemic to many/all of her relationships. I think I am less fearful about the future, more confident in my sense of self and relationships. I miss living with the kids but I am also really excited to have the time to myself and to be able to put myself first.
It was one year since the deaths of my husband and sister-in-law, five years since my daughter-in law's suicide. All of those milestones served to remind me that I am still among the living and I need to truly live, not just go through the motions. The gift of each day is a chance to start fresh, to make new choices and to have a meaningful connection with the universe.
Well, Grandpa Ted died right before 10Q began, so I guess that counts. It's too early to tell how this affected me, but I know that I won't see some of my family in quite the same way ever again. I've never witnessed my dad cry until now and he's cried a lot. I'm kinda proud of him for being vulnerable and open with his feelings rather than bottling them up and letting them consume him.
My mother-in-law died yesterday, on Rosh Hashanah. I've known her since I was 17 years old, and she was always so sweet and welcoming to me. So yeah, I'm going to be one of those people standing to say kaddish for her on Rosh Hashanah for the rest of my life.
Reading the answer to last year's question is heartbreaking. She died in December. I look back at the changes she was making in her life, and how much hope we had for a full and complete recovery, and how taken by surprise we all still are. I am realizing how important it is not to wait, and not to settle. I am continuing to learn and grow as much as I can, and doing my best to encourage those around me to embrace all new opportunities and to live without regret.
My father has had health challenges. Sometimes he's doing well, sometimes he wasn't. His medication has been adjusted a few times. He goes to the doctor often. He's doing really well right now. But there was a time earlier in the year when he wasn't doing well, and we were all concerned for his well being.
I am expecting our third child. In the beginning the news brought a lot of joy and anticipation, especially for our two girls. As my due date draws near, we all seem to be filled with nervousness and some trepidation.
Major milestone - my son got his license back, moved to NC and is killing it in his new job, making money and building up his confidence! ONE PROUD MOM here!!! My children are doing so well that it makes my heart smile.
My son and youngest child, selected his University. This shifted the household center-of-mass, two timezones westerly. All face-to-face family contact that I or he participate in henceforth, will be by commercial air travel.
This year I decided to leave any tension or resentment I have for my father in the past. I love him, but we've butted heads through the years and I would often complain about his thickheadedness or short fuse. The father of one of my good friends passed this year. It struck me that you never know what can happen. My dad may be sensitive and stubborn, but he's provided for us our whole lives and is so proud of my brother and me. I've mad a conscious effort to just love him and accept him for who he is, because that is more important.
There has been nothing.
My grandmother's house was rocked by two major hurricanes over the coarse of a week last fall. To say we all were incredibly worried about her and felt helpless would be a gross understatement. She was without running water and electricity for over 5 months on the island of St. Thomas. She came home for Thanksgiving and by god, if she's not the most strong willed and amazing woman on the face of the earth I don't know who is. Cannot explain in words how lucky we are to have her to look up to.
I married my wife this year. See Question 1.
Oh man, another question with no good answer. A major milestone? Another year without one :( Things have been so stagnant with me. My family is just Vincent & Meaghan & Audrey. They are expecting their second child, my second grandbaby. I suppose this could be considered a milestone. They effect it has on me is to make me both happy and sad. It's wonderful they are having another baby, but I am missing so much, and I don't see this getting better any time soon. They're so far away and I don't have the funds to visit them. I'd love to move closer to them but need to clear out 35 years of living from this house and haven't had the energy to get that done. My body hurts and so does my heart.
My grandma passed away at the beginning of August. I think that the reverberations are still happening. She was declining for a while, so it wasn't completely surprising. Now, my mom just arrived in Florida to list the house and clean it out. And help my grandpa make a decision about his future.
My mom died last year. I miss her every single day. At first, I was kind of numb,went through the motions of working with the mortuary, planning her service, and doing things to help my dad. I went to work, but I felt disconnected from people and events. This wasn't good, because I teach and as a result, I didn't do my best job connecting with my kids. In retrospect, it has helped me try to stay focused on the positive with my students this year and I am committed to doing a better job.
Dan and I drove out to Atlanta from Vail for my cousins Bat Mitzvah/mini family reunion. We told my family that we plan to marry. This past year I realized that he is truly my soulmate.
My wife and I are in the process of separating. Mostly, the effect on me has been a sense of relief. I have a sense of clarity for what I need to do to move forward, and an end to the constant struggle of trying to make something that clearly wasn't working work.
Pauline nearly drown. A man came by just in time to pull her out of the o[pool and reveved her. Pauline spent one night in the hospital. She recovered and still hates "Mr Trump" She's a-okay. The thought of it makes me crazy. I see her lifeless body and so grateful to have her with us. Another milestone is the birth of Levi August Shagam. We, as well as Levi's parents Michael and Denise, are ecstatic. As are Denise's parents Gus and Susan Cicala.
My husband's dad died in January, after a period of declining health. While my relationship with him was relatively brief (he became my father-in-law through my later in life marriage), I realized afterwards that he was more a part of my day-to-day life than other members of my family to whom I am technically closer. I find I feel his absence more than I expected to, and more than I did with other "closer" family members that I didn't see as often. For my husband (and me as well), it's brought the sense that we are now part of our family's "elders" - the departure of the prior generation has put us in a different category in relation to our own kids, our nephews and my siblings-in-law. Mostly, I miss my father-in-law and regret that I didn't know him longer, when I could have had more of a sense of how he was as a dad to my husband.
My mother gave me a set of papers that describe how she wants to be treated if she becomes incapacitated and how she wants her assets to be distributed in the event of her death. She is getting old. It makes me think about the passage of time and how old I will be when my son is grown.
My small family is aging and we are now having to start the short walk to the end of this journey in this lifetime - My sister's beautiful dog Rue said her last wagging tail goodbye - my mother is afraid to stop, because she thinks she will cease if she stops, but at 81 she is still climbing mountains and now bringing Graham along for the ride, whether he wants to or not. My sister's have settled into a beautiful life and include me often which makes me feel safe and loved. My dear Christopher continues to push me in the direction of a relationship and one has emerged but I am so not sure about it and can't figure out if it is my fear or if he is just not the right person for me. Last year I was struck with the idea of being alone and now that I have someone that wants to hang the sun, stars and moon for me - I am realizing that I am really ok doing that for myself... I think I need a handy man that helps me do things I can't do on my own but then I really am not sure I want to share my space with him! this is creating anxiety in me and I don't like feeling this way- people's lives continue to move forward and shift and sometimes I am invited and others not and that is ok with me most of the time. I guess I am struggling this year to figure out who I am and where I am supposed to be in this world - some days I am confident and others I am not - onward and upward!
I changed jobs and my spouse and I couldn’t be happier. It was scary because my job was cut/eliminated and the first 3 months were rough. Yet G_d was faithful and blessed our family.
Oh gosh. The milestones are really in terms of how I am choosing to relate and interact with them. This year, I started regular phone calls with my brother who is disabled and lives in a group home. He isn't able to hold really robust conversations but he likes the connection. I used to feel such guilt all the time about him living away from family, but the weekly calls have shown me that he indeed has his own life and he's happy. I have chosen to keep greater distance from my parents this year. With my mom, it came after she would not let go of her feelings of anger and abandonment after I told her I couldn't see her at Christmas because she had been exposed to bed bugs and I was staying at a friend's place. I have had bed bugs before and accidentally gave them to a friend just by visiting them, so I couldn't see her until it was definitely ok. She did not understand at all and we didn't really talk for months. When we did talk, she continued to bring it up asking for an apology. I said it wasn't my intention to hurt her, but she just wouldn't let it go. She has come around about her wedding, which I'm glad about, but I'm still really cautious with her. My dad just doesn't make much of an effort and it's becoming too painful and uninteresting to try to connect with him. I was especially hurt when he turned down my invitation to have him at the wedding ceremony. He is a broken man, and he's doing his best, so I can accept that I have to look elsewhere for the love and support I want from him. Somehow it seems like Curt's death catalyzed my change in approach to people in my life. He was so important to me and I was so sad when he died. It was perfectly beautiful though that at his funeral, I reconnected with Stacie. Losing his constant support and just feeling so sad for him that his life was already over made me feel more present and aware of the preciousness of genuine affection and life at this moment.
LILA WAS BORN (within the jewish new year). what a lovely lovely addition to our family. can't wait to see what her future holds. love my family <3
One major milestone is my brother getting married. I gained a brother because of it and got to see my family. We have all gotten closer and got to have a lot of fun
My son finished senior kindergarten and I was amazed at the change in him. How quickly our children become little adults! I am so thankful that he loves to go to school. My heart breaks just thinking of kids who are bullied and/or have parents who aren't invested in their childrens' future.
The milestone was Claire going to the US Rowing National competition. It was such a huge accomplishment for her, and it touched the whole family. I was so proud of the effort and leadership of her crew. I got to see her in her community while being present for the competition in Sacramento. Like last year when she got her license, this year she made another step toward successful adulthood. She's an amazing person.
We made the decision to actually book a trip to Disney--feeling like we're just barely able/ready to be successful on such an excursion/stressor/etc. I've been pretty stressed about it actually, but I do feel slightly better now that I've actually booked everything (recently). But still very stressed about how the kids (and the parents) will do.
Things that happened with my family... I can't really think of anything. Things have been pretty much the same. Ma is still ma. Dad is still dad. Mark is still Mark. Nothing major has been going on - I don't mind just coasting like this for a little while longer.
Our department head was not re-elected, and so work has been difficult. I am seeking a new opportunity, and one actually presented itself today, so we will see how it pans out. I feel like I have lost the joy I used to have in my work, and dread going to work each day, where I used to look forward to it. I hope something positive happens for me soon.
So many things of happened in this past year. I got married, which, I like to think was a big event for the whole family. I also finished my vascular surgery fellowship, which was a huge deal, because it means that my medical/surgical training is actually over in a formal sense. Of course, there is the “never stop learning“ which is part of why I went into this field, but I’m going to be an attending vascular surgeon now and make real money. I’m fairly certain everyone is proud of me, and my parents are probably doubly relieved that I’m not going to have to be asking them for ($$$) help anymore. My brother is halfway through grad school, and first year is the worst, so we are all pretty proud of him. And my mom moved back to New Orleans. When people ask me how my husband and I did this crazy long distance thing for basically four years, I jokingly reply that it’s a genetic problem. The truth is though, that my parents have been doing long-distance on and off for basically their entire relationship. Most recently, my mom lived in Baltimore and worked while my dad lived and worked in New Orleans. For five years. And now it’s over. She’s moved back and, while both still have careers that require a lot of travel, homebase is New Orleans. It has this happy ending feel to it. Even though, it’s obviously a beginning as well. For me, personally, it’s an affirmation that it’s all worth it; and with the right person, it all works out ❤️
Grandma bought a condo in the building next door. Though that means my side of the family won’t be staying downstairs nearly as much, it does mean that my folks will be out visiting more often, I think. And it was great to have Gram there this summer while Bart and I worked on the update projects downstairs, we were able to have members of both our families here visiting at the same time, etc.
Has anything major really happened in the last twelve months? There are a lot of changes if you go back a full eighteen months, and there are many more coming in the next twelve months, but I have a hard time thinking of anything I would call "major" in this past year. Maybe the only milestone was settling into the things that had already been set in motion, and maybe that's okay, sometimes. Alternatively, we did a full MCU rewatch in chronological order.
Asher was born about 3 months ago. 3 kids are much harder than 2, but we all love him so much that it’s totally worth it. He loves his big brothers and smiles at them all the time.
My dad got cancer and died. I spent more time with my family in Maryland than usual because of it, and my aunt/cousins seem to finally have made nice and be hanging out with my mom and sister more. It makes me happy for them that they have more contacts. I have felt a special extra grief when my sister remembers my father so fondly and as though he made sure she was going to be okay in life, when he clearly resented me and didn't teach me even a quarter of what he taught her. I feel sad that she got a good dad, while I got a dad who resented me. The other part is that my husband turned out to be a big liar and cheater. I feel like my concept of family has been completely shattered. Growing up I was the outsider in my family, the one who didn't fit, the one that everyone seemed like they would be happier without, so I made friends that I saw as family, and I got married. I thought my husband was my life partner and we'd have each other's backs. It turns out that some 13 years later, I've lost several good friends, and my life partner apparently was never my partner at all and only in it for himself. I still feel on the outside of my immediate family, but I think I'm closer anyway, but I feel so very sad and lost, like I don't know who I am or where I belong anymore. I have so much support and love from the people around me, my remaining family and friends, and even my coworkers, but I still don't know what family and home is anymore.
There's an obvious answer here... my son's father (from whom I have been separated for over 4 years) moved out of state. He sold his house, which we had once lived in together, and let the lease on his apartment expire, and moved in to an apartment in Los Angeles. From a day-to-day standpoint, the change was gradual. My son spent more and more time with me as his dad traveled more. His dad started the year splitting time between the two states, then eventually moved. The impact is both enormous, and inconsequential. Emotionally, it makes a difference for my son, but his life hasn't really changed. He is accustomed to being with me, and hasn't really had a difference in his life. But I have noticed that for me, it has changed my outlook on parenting in that I now expect to go it alone. I have support from grandparents, but in terms of long-term planning, saving, decisions, etc... I now feel these on myself much more. This is both stressful and liberating. But I am happy to feel independent, so I suppose it's good. We'll see how I feel this time next year!
My husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary in August. We have seen more challenges than most couples do in a lifetime. But we raised 2 beautiful sons who we are so proud of and weathered health crises and political differences. So I think we will be able to weather the rest of our time together!
my sister got engaged! it’s exciting to have a family member go through a new chapter in their life.
My niece was born. This has made me more connected to my family, as I feel that I understand how exciting it is to have a new member of your family join you in the world.
My sister and her husband started the process of adoption. Our family is still healing from losing a baby last year and finding out that my sister wants to adopt another kid into our family is so exciting, I hope that maybe by next year I will be writing about our new little one! *fingers crossed*
My niece is having a baby, she's a grown up! I'm therefore extremely old! I'm happy but worried for her. This isn't working out as she planned and its hard. It'll be ok but I worry about her. Popsicles has to take oxygen now. It's the latest stage in his big struggle and a reminder he's fought through so strongly. It's also scary it's come to this. Jenny will be 18. Our baby! I have a nephew no one else knows about, who I've never met and I probably never will and it kills me. I'd love to know him. That hurts a lot
I lost my first grandparent in April and my dad lost his dad. It was in the middle of exams and that was pretty hard to deal with but I got through it. It definitely was a reminder of how short life really is and has motivated me to spend more time with my other grandparents and just with friends and family in general.
Mon divorce, et une nouvelle vie qui s'ouvre devant moi
My grandparents turned 90 and 80, which was a huge milestone for my family. It feels very much like it’s up to me to be a part of bringing the next generation into the world, and to bring my family back home.
My daughter decided to walk to school by herself. I was really torn. I was proud and happy she had the self confidence to do this, but sad that my baby is growing up.
We laid my in laws to rest. It was a beautiful service, and I know my husband misses his parents terribly. I think often about the quality of my parents' lives (both living) and hope their last years are peaceful and comfortable. I also think about the torches they have passed.
Major milestone in 2018. I graduated with my second Bachelor degree, this one in English Lit (first one is in Music; friends say I should get one in Art to make myself completely unhireable ;-) ). I'm now trying to figure out what I want to do next. My employer pays my tuition and I really want to take advantage of that whether it be to just collect degrees or actually do something with them. Most recent thought was Quality Improvement (Master's degree). A lot of the classes are on things that I do in my current position and enjoy doing (they pay me to be obsessive-compulsive!!) but I need to take it slow. Husband has a new role at work and is traveling more; daughter is in high school at a rather intense school (specialized and surrounded by others who actually want to be there - she loves it but she's being challenged for the first time in her academic career. Seriously--9th grade is when she got her first ever B. It was at this school and she *worked* to get that B, by God!) Back to taking it slow ... that is not something I do well. I'm an instant gratification kinda gal and the whole "baby steps" or "wait" thing has been a common theme this past year. I don't like it. :) 2017... mom's death. How it affected me? Well, I told the SICU they needed to invest in punching bags (I was angry and there was no outlet aside from walking which just didn't cut it). If adulting means making major decisions without consulting one's parents, then adulting truly sucks. I can do it, but it still sucks.
We lost my Aunt Linda in August. She was the relative who really saw me, never judged me, gave me things I loved because I loved them. I hurt her, and she forgave me when I was absent from the family, at a time when she needed attention. She needed to be seen. Aunt Linda was my greatest fan. I have stayed away from family a lot, out of self preservation. Aunt Linda's death woke up a wish for the faith and habit of being braver, trusting in possibility of benificense from those I care about, who care about me.
My brother has overcome most of his anger issues, making it easier for me to deal with him.
Mom's health is declining more rapidly than before and I worry that her heart will give out. I'm trying to spend as much time with her as possible, despite the 1200 miles that separate us. I'm reminding myself to call more often and pick up the phone when I'm at work, even if I only have a second or two to spare. I am most worried that my brother, who avoids her calls and seems willfully ignorant of her health, will be blindsided and angry when she dies.
Well, Grandma Anne died I can't remember when, at 101 which was pretty amazing. and going to the funeral with Mia was kind of wild because Todd didn't want to go because he knew there would be Neil drama (and there was), and I guess neither of us really wanted to go but we went because we knew it was the right thing to do and because all the Texas cousins came to pgh when our mom died and Anne was like Stephy's mom. I'm glad that I got to go and be privy to the real adult conversations about the dynamics of our family - I feel like so much of that bullshit had been just under the surface for my childhood, and it was such a relief to hear people being real about how they felt and to learn more about family history. Also, I was a pall bearer for grandma Anne, which I wasn't expecting and the walk wasn't very far and I was holding the least amount of weight (either her head or feet), but it felt pretty powerful when I thought about the literal significance of the people who carry your body to put you in the ground. and the funeral guy asked for volunteers for more pallbearers, I guess cause everyone was so old, and Mari, Melissa, Amanda, etc really didn't want to do it so I also kind of felt like I was doing them a favor by taking that responsibility as well. and they thanked me after, which felt good.
My husband’s parents moved to assisted living. It was an emotional struggle for them but now they seem very content. The whole family pulled together to get this accomplished over the span of about 2 months.
My daughter has turned her life around after a previous 2 years of hell, because of drug and alcohol abuse, suicide attempts, self harm and serious mental health issues. She has has got her life back on track and is starting a university degree in a few days - something that would have seemed impossible just a year ago. My own health and well-being actually took a dip as she got better. I had been running on adrenaline for so long , as we lurched from one crisis to another that it took a toll on me. However, I am now back on track and so proud of her and and filled with joy to see her flourish.
My youngest son graduated to college and moved clear across the country to LA. It struck me as the end of some significant portion of my life. My children are no longer the children, they are adults. I can't treat them as children anymore and I just haven't learned how to do it otherwise. That is certainly one of the resolutions that will have to be taken for the next year...
My sister told me of a family secret and asked my opinion on how to move forward. Normally, I'm all about honesty, but in this case, I didn't see how the revelation would do anything positive, so I recommended not bringing it to their attention. She decided to go with that. Months later, I still feel the same way, so I'm glad I gave her my opinion, and I honestly think she feels the same way. If she decides to go forward at any time in the future, like I said to her then, I'll stand by her side no matter what.
Our kids are 1 and 3 which is hard to believe. We’re done having babies, so it’s hard to believe our newborn days are over. I am trying so hard to soak up every fleeting moment. They go by so fast. They’re at really fun ages right now. Jane is hysterical and has a huge vocabulary. She can sound so grown up. She loves Octonauts, swimsuits, blankets, and Apple juice. Tommy is the happiest baby I’ve ever seen. He only cries for food or milk. They have a great dad who is incredibly patient with them and will go to great lengths to make them happy.
How to pick a major milestone from this past year when there have been so many in my family. My family is my husband and myself but it also includes our village to be honest. Between my husband and myself in terms of milestones-he tore down the bonds of marriage with his midlife crisis. It has affected me to the marrow of my bones. We are working on each ourselves with therapy and with a couples therapist. It’s too soon to know if we are rebuilding our marriage or if we are in a facilitated breakup. At least I know that I will emerge a better human because I’m also coming to terms with my experience of childhood abuse and recognizing how anxiety has been in my life for a long time.
The Santa Rosa firestorms almost burned the house down. So many people lost everything. We all have PTSD and also extreme gratitude for each other.
This year is going to be a bit of a broken record, I guess. Hard not to see the major milestone being anything but separating from my husband, and all that has come from that for my family. My boys live with me two weeks on, two off, and that has been the most difficult, the most most "affecting" all of us. I have not been particularly graceful about this shared custody, at least with the amount of time I don't have them. After 16 years of always being a mom, 24/7 (yeah, I know, I'm still *always* a mom), I have these long swaths of time when I'm not responsible for their well being, knowing where they are, feeding them, getting them to their things. At one point, we were out to dinner, and I asked "so what's been going on with you?" and realized that this is what their grandparents' ask them. I do NOT like being out of the loop on their lives, as I don't think that makes me a good mom, and their dad and I haven't established a good protocol for communicating about all their "stuff." I've had to separate out what is for their benefit and what is just ME not liking shared custody and being emotional. Indeed, emotionally, for me, it's been rocky--I miss them desperately. My elder is a senior in highschool and dates and drives and my younger is in highschool this year and is growing like a week, and I'm panicking that I'm missing important things every time they leave. But, this is the reality, the reality I created, and it is what I'll live with.
My niece was born last November 1st. My mom and dad both turned 80. Each of my parents turning 80 brought family and friends from across the continent together to celebrate, some of whom we hadn't connected with in years. It was nice to see everyone celebrate the people who raised me into the person that I am.
I lost several family members of my immediate family this year and feel a sense of separation from that side of the family.
My grandma turned 80. This has brought into focus the fact that she's aging, that she won't be around forever. I'm trying to appreciate her more, improve my communications, show her I love her. She can be exasperating at times, but being aware of her advancing years is helping me to be calmer and more tolerant. I hope I can continue this.
Extended family - my stepmother was diagnosed for the 4th time with breast cancer, and now has to endure weekly chemo treatments until, forever. Coming to terms that she won't be here forever is a constant thought. Immediate family - both of my children are now officially teenagers, which can be both exciting and overwhelming. Simply trying to do my best to raise them as kind, caring humans.
My brother went through chemo, and is now cancer-free. Seeing him as sick as he was -- I was gutted. The relief felt when we received the good news was incomparable.
We have 2 major milestones. My son, made it through the first year at Rowan with good grades. A few years ago, i never thought this was possible. He wound up with a nice job in August for an accountant which also boosted his confidence. So i hope this year will be a repeat but I still worry about him. And the other milestone is my daughter, after all her worry and anxiety got into two medical schools, chose Chicago and loves it. I pray all the time that they both continue on a positive path and i support them in appropriate and helpful ways.
Again, no real major milestones. My uncle (fathers side) died, so I have only one surviving relative of my fathers generation left. I am sad thinking about my aunt who has no brothers or sisters left.
My nephew was born. It affected me very little in my daily life being so far away from them. It's affected my excitement for the future and getting to watch him and my niece grow up.
Both of the boys going to high school...they are growing into such young men. I am proud of them, but also scared for them in this crazy world.
Its been an eventful year...M and J welcomed Ann Katherine and Claire Elizabeth in March 2018. They are utter joys and being an Auntie is one of my favorite things in the universe. A less happy change is looming on the horizon: M and J bought a house in Austin and are moving by mid October. Mom and Dad are putting their house on the market and are moving to Austin too. Probably before the end of the year. And it sucks for me and is wonderful for them. And we'll still see each other - probably more often than we do now- which is the truly important thing. If I'm being honest, I do feel like I'm being left behind. Because I am. And it makes me sad to think that my children won't be close to their grandparents. And that I won't go to Faith Lutheran again. Or see Nana B, or Sandra, or Susan. And that really does hurt. But its out of my control. And its the right thing for M and J and Mom and Dad - no doubt about that. And I'm happy for them - and heartbroken for me.
X was rather ill and the expenses for emergency vet care were very expensive ($10K!!). He was _just_ hitting a steady state - not puking, eating well and upright, hair was getting smooth, etc - when today I took him for his afternoon walk and afterwards he got sick. I am remembering all the anxiety that M & I went through when it wasn't clear if he was gonna get better. I'm not working and we want to have a kid and we just _can't_ afford another expense of that magnitude if we're to survive. He's put us through so much but we love the dog -- he's 10+ now and he _still_ bites us viciously but we still love him. M and I celebrated our 6th year of marriage and we're doing well - I'm looking forward to contributing to society as a tax-payer and being able give my wife more - of everything.
No real major milestones this year, really. Our son lost his job due to work downsizing, and his roommate Jess is going to move away from the US. He's now trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces and find both a new job and a new apartment. The only other thing that comes to mind right now is that we recently found out my husband's stepmother passed away and left money in trust for our kids. We had no idea. We still don't know how much money they will receive, but it could be enough to help them get a great start in life.
My dad turned 70 this year and we all celebrated at a caravan park. There were 15 of us all in all. The love I felt from being around my entire family, all together, and how much that meant to my dad was brilliant. It also made me realise that even though we've all grown and drifted, they're still so important in my growth and development. Family is so important.
The last year has been a lot for my boyfriend and I. Besides moving to a different city, my health scare and hospitalization, we also lost our dog - the day after I was released from the hospital. There never is a good time to lose a pet, but it wasn’t the best timing and hit us both hard. We both think of her often and it still feels like she should be around.
My husband got sick, with a rare muscle-affecting disease called cidp, and it scared me and made me feel scared and burdened. Thank goodness, the treatment seems to be helping!
Our family sold our home of ten years in NYC and moved to the suburbs. It has been seismic for all of us. I love our new home and feel very lucky to have the opportunity to move.
Paid off our equity loan. Felt great to look at statement and see "0". Helped us to feel comfortable that we could borrow some money to get cement work done and know we could pay it back. Made feel like I could accomplish something. Now we have just small amount on loan.
My husband turned 65. I'm still (and always will be) seventeen months older than he is, but this age is such a significant one. He doesn't act older, but maybe he should some of the time. He pushes himself to do more, and I worry that he'll push too hard. I need him to be around for a long, long time to come.
These days, having faced down a cancer diagnosis in February that is usually fatal and coming through on the other side, every occasion involving loved ones feels precious and fresh. With my siblings this August at our summer place in NH, I found myself feeling utterly blessed, simply being with my beloved family.
I wrote about this on day 1, but my mom was diagnosed (for the 2nd time) with colon cancer, and subsequently suffered a number of medical challenges both related and unrelated to that. It has been...challenging for the rest of us as well. Emotionally, I feel as though I have been confronted with my mom's (eventual) mortality in a more concrete and intense way than I ever thought. It has also made me grateful for how close our family is and how much we are able to rely upon one another for emotional support as well as physical (in the form of coming down to help our mom, etc.). All of this has been exacerbated, I think, by my mother in law's death earlier this year. She was sick already when I was first getting to know my husband so I never felt as though I knew her that well, but for us as a family unit it has been a difficult year - we have had some real downs in terms of our relationship, and also been able to deal with those in a way that has shown me the strength of our marriage.
I had a good year, revenue-wise, this year, which created the opening for my spouse to tackle issues I had been asking her to tackle for some time. On the whole, it's been a great year of progress for our relationship.
Sam got her license in February. Doug and I don't have to drive her everywhere, which does give us more free time. However, it does not seem that I have extra minutes in the day, and I miss spending time with her. It is the same way I felt when Kathleen began driving.
Joseph went to college in Rome, Italy and Adina went to graduate school in Chicago. I am now an empty nester and I need to get my own life.
I became a grandparent. And I have really loved it and find Piper to be amazing. Every one finds her to be sooo cute and Kirsten is the most amazing mother. I feel like at least I did something right in my personal life. And I have been able to have relationships with ex's - Lou, El, Sarah are all a big part of my life. And compared to last year Brandon and Kirsten are getting along better!
Well, my brother proposing to his girlfriend and finding out that they are expecting a baby has been a big deal. It reaffirmed our relationships with each other and with him as we welcomed this new person (and a half?) into our lives and hearts with open arms. She is a dream, and I'm blessed to have her. And I'm blessed to know my brother will spend the rest of his life with her, loving and cherishing each other.
There were no major traditional milestones- nothing celebratory. If anything, we've reached some painful "milestones". In therapy, I've started trying to come to terms with all the abuse, and have letting myself think of myself as a child abuse victim. Maybe a "milestone" I can think of is that I've started thinking seriously about building a family of my own in the coming years, and most especially putting myself in a position where I can foster-to-adopt. If this happens, this year will mark the beginning of that journey, the beginning of my future family. (where there will be no hitting, no drinking, adults behaving like adults....the start of a home I didn't get to have as a child)
My kids & grands moved 1200 miles away. While I have more time for my own projects, I feel quite vulnerable & isolated. This has caused me to wonder what kind of living arrangement I want to create moving forward.
A major milestone that happened this year was the passing of my grandfather. I was extremely close with my grandmother, I considered her more of a mother to me than my actual mother. She passed away four years ago and it was one of the hardest things for me to deal with. His passing was another loss that reminded me that she is gone. With both of them passing on, that chapter of my life is closed. It is a world now that lives only in memory.
My older brother was fired from his job for falsifying inventories and accepting returns that were not legitimate. He was stealing from his employer, perhaps for many years. He wrote us all an email telling us about it and begging for our forgiveness. I was so very shocked. I never would have thought any of my siblings capable of doing something like that. His whole world is falling down around him. They are having to sell their property and perhaps even their home. He is living with his son in another town and when he comes home to visit he doesn’t want to show his face in town. There are many rumors in that small town about him - of course they are not true. But they are hurtful to him and his son. The family and his friends alm believe his wife had something to do with it, that she put him in a place financially where he felt he had no choice.
My dad's job started to become too much for him this year. He was suffering and drinking a lot, and I hated to be home because I hated seeing him that way. I was afraid sometimes that he would kill himself. I'm glad he had my mom there to help. He just started a new job, so I'm hoping this turns out better in the coming year.
My cousin got married! I didn't bring my girlfriend to the wedding - they had other things going on. In retrospect it was a Good Decision. My family's gonna have to meet them at some point, and like, everyone but my grandma knows I'm gay, but it would have been an extra thing and a major stress on my girlfriend. I think all of my relatives know I'm going to marry my girlfriend now, though. They were referring to it, although my older cousin was really surprised. I've been dating them for two years, and I can easily imagine dating them for a hundred more, so marriage is gonna happen.
There were no real milestones this year in my family. It was the one-year anniversary of my grandmother's death, and I didn't remember it at all that day. It was sad when it happened, but I think that it's been a long year since then, and that I've grieved her passing. I still feel sad when I hear stories about parents/grandparents with dementia or Alzheimer's.
My pregnancy has brought my family together in a way that I didn't even think was possible - because we were already so close.
Was my first year of marriage! Feeling really solid on they front
I gained new chosen family and thus a larger and stronger support system, but I also lost a dear member of my family. I had to give up my cat, Toast, whom I had had for 2 years, ever since she was just 9 weeks old. She developed some medical problems that caused incontinence and, as I am disabled as well, I simply could not cope properly with the amount of cleaning required to keep up. I miss her dearly but hope she will find a wonderful home that can take care of her properly.
Liza and Austin broke up and she moved in with us for 9 mo. During that time she finished school and interviewed for her first teaching job. After some big disappointments she got a 1st grade teacher job at her old elementary school. Having her around was great. She loves us a ton and was usually a joy to have around - not something that can be said about every 25 year old daughter. We've now got a really sweet relationship and that is a big answered prayer for me.
My husband and I both turned 50. It made us both want to spend more time time family. My sister visited me for my birthday; then I visited her just because, and I plan to go see her again for her birthday. These visits make me very happy.
My daughter being in full time Pre-school. It has made me feel sad that the time feels it has just disappeared but also proud of the little lady she now is and how much love my children show each other (most of the time)
this year my niece became a Bas Mitzvah. But, she had such anxiety, she couldn't do her reading, and she had been practicing for a long time. I wish there was something I could do, but between her mother and father, and what's going on between them, I know there is nothing. Her brother, however, has become become more talkative, which is a good thing.
My first Christmas without my grandmother was extremely sad. It launched me into a serious depression that lasted a week in which I really could not get off the couch. My mother was sad too but didn't seem to show it as much
Last year, my uncle died, and since then I've let family factor much stronger in my life. It was made starkly apparent that my parents aren't always going to be around and that my connection to Chicago will diminish each year I'm gone from it. I won't be attending annual birthdays for all family members, old and new, and that will be something that I'll have to contend with unless I make a change. It hurts more that I can't have it all. And I'm in the process of figuring out what it is I want, and acknowledging how that affects my family in turn.
I can't think of one. Nobody died, got married, was born. It was a milestone that someone out of Jennifer's immediate family met one of her in-law's. I met Mimon's sister when I visited and I enjoyed that. Annegret also admitted to me that she had indeed beaten both Jeremy and I. Melissa actually said,"fuck you" to Mommy which is big and said that Jeremy has nightmares because of her abusing him. This is really ugly and I don't like this unkind, unsparing, unforgiving way of talking and thinking.
Shari and I have decided that we’re ready to start trying to have our first child. Even thinking about this is stressful, but exciting.
I told my family of origin that I got married, and my mom is blaming me for her blood pressure problems. I don't know how I'm going to deal with it.
My oldest son (22 yr old) purchased his first home! I could not be more proud of how financially responsible he is and continues to be.
My sister had her second baby, a little girl. I don't connect with her as deeply as a did her first born, and I feel guilty about that. I've only seen her once (they don't live in town) and I regret not getting out to see her more often.
I got engaged to Shani for real. It is so good to finally begin building our family together. And it made my parents so happy. Everything is always on Rosh Hashanah.
Death of Aunt Jane and I am very sad and weepy. Trying to work out how I can be independent without any elders left except Lois. So I am torn between trying to go live with her and doing what is best for me.
Becca and Ryan got married. While it hasn't had a profound impact on me, it is a source of joy and pride. They are a really awesome couple, and I wish them many, many years of happiness!
Every week one of my boys has a momentous milestone...let's see, Johnny learned to ride a 2-wheeler with no training wheels AND stopped using a pacifier at nighttime AND starting taking showers instead of baths... Robbie lost his first tooth *finally* the night before his 7th birthday AND had his first piano recitals... Watching those two grow is milestone central, even if none are "major" in the implied sense. Doesn't matter. They gives me tremendous joy.
I have finally forgiven my father. And he had stopped drinking.
We did not have any major milestones this year, not even any family trips. But we did spend a lot of fun and meaningful time together. We went camping for the first time...maybe that was sort of a milestone? It was exciting and we hope to do it again soon.
I turned 50 which makes me even more aware of my mortality. My daughter started her Sr yr of HS. She’s my only and seems to be growing up so fast. We are very close. I’m trying to relish each day and not worry too much about the future or have regrets about past decisions.
A lot! Settling in back in our hometown area, realizing we actually should live elsewhere, having TC sell giving us the financial freedom to choose our path, still haven't settled on kids other than "we should", got niece off to college away from local, formally working to build & launch a company, partnering to really formalize the business, AMAZING vacation to Grand Cayman, have become somewhat distant with extended family. All in all, this last year has taught me that settling for ordinary and what others want just isn't in our household DNA. Back home everyone just wants to stay the same, reminisce about how things were simpler, and not achieve greater. Our adult friends really aren't here; they're elsewhere everywhere. Having gone to Cayman helped us see that that really could be our life if we wanted after this next business go-round. Having left my previous company showed me how much that culture was holding me back; even the executives didn't want better...they just wanted to be paid out. It was a very toxic place expecting random, unearned loyalty to a CEO that didn't want to understand the intricacies of our business. Now, working on our own business is giving us the freedom to go where few are willing to do. Hopefully, once we're up and going, I'll figure out the right way to engage better with our families. I know it'll be tough on them that we're planning to live elsewhere but it'll allow us to achieve our potential.
Ellie was born! Only just a few days ago but already her presence has completely changed the landscape of the family. I see Sarah and Bjorn are softer, more open people. I see Ally and Sarah relate differently and my mother and Sarah relate differently. When Sarah got pregnant and they all started talking about their pregnancy experiences I felt very left out. It was an interesting sort of sad, to think that there is something they all share that I don't, and it's looking more and more likely never will. I definitely had that all through the labor experience and also now through the early infancy times. I am able to relate on parenting things, and give perspective on kid things, based on being a step-parent and a teacher. But I have to own my story of being on the outside of that club. It reminds me of my other sadnesses about the things that I'll never get to be -- I'll never get to dance all the roles I once dreamed of dancing. I'll never get to be "the most beautiful woman in the room" the way that Jonathan's first wife was. I'll never get to meet Jonathan's father. I'll never get to meet my mother's father. I'll never get to return to the dressing room at Phantom and do that show again in that way. These losses make my heart feel like it wants to leave my body, to go *elsewhere*, to where the not-lost might be. But Ellie is not a loss. She is like a new color in the rainbow, so interesting and beautiful and unique! I'm dying to meet her in person and it will be such a treat to watch her grow, and to add her story to that of Sam's and Jack's as "the next generation of us." Her presence also gives me a new gift that I can give to my sister and her husband. In supporting her, celebrating her, showing interest in and love of her, I can give gifts to my sister that I couldn't give her before. It makes me so happy to pour into my sisters in that way. If there's one thing I want to be for them, it's a presence of support, encouragement, and love. I want to be part of the thing that makes them able to love their lives. Ellie gives me another way to do that for Sarah and I'm so grateful for it.
All seem to have changed- school, jobs-my youngest son completed a very grueling triathalon last month. I was very worried about this, and also proud of his achievements.
Trump administration has made it hard to spend time with family. The division is extreme and heartbreaking.
The biggest change it has allowed me to leave working in the emergency room, and I'm now working totally for myself. The big part of the puzzle was getting the insurance issue squared away so I have coverage. I'm getting used to referring to my work in the emergency room in the past tense. It still sounds and feels a little weird. It's all working out quite well so there's nothing to complain about.
My beloved grandmother fell and broke her hip. She was in rehab for a couple months and now back at home. She has limited mobility, but is still living on her own. I know that she 92 but I am still shocked that she is getting older and more frail. I feel like she is always 75 when I talk with her on the phone. She is sharp, hilarious, wickedly smart, and ridiculously stubborn. I feel distressed at living so far away, and at the fact that she will pass away. I know that we all will die .... but the reality brushing up against me is uncomfortable. Which I know is ridiculous. My biggest loves are 5, 44, 67 and 92... I feel my heart expanding for all of them at all stages of life.
We sold our (suburban) house and moved to a (downtown) condo. Still in the process of unpacking and nesting so not yet feeling like "home." And, again, husband is without a job.
I was diagnosed with a couple of autoimmune diseases. This was hard... on everyone. I've had to drastically change my diet and the way that I view work and energy, but these are also really good things. I've learned to say 'no' to activities and things that I don't want to do or don't have the energy to do; it's amazing.
Rowan, my nephew was born November 19th 2018. He is beautiful, fun and we had a wonderful summer vacation together. It was an incredible event, but it took me quite a bit of time to actually enjoy my new role. Now, I feel like this is a wonderful opportunity to be involved in a child's life without having my own child. I think this has also given me a new sense of purpose. What do I want my life to look like? What really matters to me?
A milestone? First time involuntarily displaced from a home. But also, first visit as a family to the East Coast to meet Jews and Puerto Ricans.
Dad finally retired. It's been rough so far. He dove deep into a self-destructive path of behaviour and didn't really have anything positive to occupy with himself. Drinking, mistresses and extortion (of him) became a common topic of discussion. Now he's fallen into a deep depression and was recently hospitalized for a psyche evaluation. You'd think that was the worst part but it was kind of a relief. I'm 3000 KM away now so its tough to support and its taking a big toll on my brother. My mom seems weirdly unphased so that's something to keep a pulse on too.
Mom's cancer has spread to her liver and treating it has become much harder on her body. She is very much debilitated right now, and I don't know if she will regain strength when this full cycle is done. I know that if she beats the cancer in her liver, it will eventually show up somewhere else. I feel like I can't be helpful so far away. In the background of every day I worry about her, and I worry about my dad.
We thought my mom had cancer. In the moment of that fear, I had a responsibility to her -- to keep her calm, keep her loved, and keep her as safe as I could. It turned out to be Hashimoto's and I feel as though we, too quickly, reverted to our life before, but wait... I take that back... I think I do have a deeper sense of gratitude for her. Losing her will one day be one of the most profound moments in my own life; I fear that day.
Two of my three brothers experienced a total marital breakdown and are now both in divorce proceedings. We're going to have to figure out a new normal for birthdays, graduations, weddings and such. I'm so sad.
This overlaps with the day 1 question, but losing Dad has been easily the most significant event of the past year - or of several years for that matter. It has brought us closer together, and I have been moved by the support I've received from friends, colleagues, random strangers in Germany... as well as from close family. I'm told I appear strong and together, but don't feel it at all. I think I need to work on that. More positively, a new nephew arrived on titch's birthday - to his eternal delight - and it has been a real joy to see how he relishes playing the big cousin (albeit slightly tinged with sadness that he doesn't get to be a big brother).
We're taking care of the twin grandchildren 2 to 3 times a week while Adam and Elyse work. Sandi hasn't lost her touch for babies that's for sure. They're 13 months, time flys. Every day is a new milestone with their crawling, talking and attempts to walk. So cute. Grandkids are really life changing, for the better. :)
I suppose that the milestone is me buying my house. It has changed my life and my relationship with the place where I've chosen to live.
This was a YEAR for milestones! Since last Rosh Hoshanah, in chronological order: Michael got a full-time teaching job, I put up my thesis show, graduated, we moved into an apartment that is more like a house, we got married, had a honeymoon, and I got a full-time job. It's been a whirlwind.
My mother died. Being with her during her final weeks brought me closer to her and helped me understand her better. Working with my siblings to care for her and our dad, and to set up a new apartment for our dad after she died, brought the four of us closer together. Caring for him afterwards, without the buffer of my softer, gentler, more self-deprecating parent, required me to learn new ways of relating to him and helped me increase my compassion toward him. Finally, observing how my mother lived and died served as an example to me of graciousness, empathy and forgiveness.
I wouldn't necessarily say there's a concrete milestone, but just knowing that my family and I support each other has been incredibly nourishing. Just this past weekend, my mom sent a few vegetarian dishes, acrylic paints, snacks, and baking pans with my dad. He waited for me in the van 30 mins because I was still sleeping. I gave him some pastries from Copenhagen Pastry to bring back. Moments like these make me feel grateful to have my family, and to be within 1 hr drive of them.
My dad and his girlfriend got into a major fight, but they were able to resolve it and take their trip to England. This has impacted me directly because it brings me joy that he is able to experience something pretty major as traveling outside the country. I am also in the process of helping my mother get her a passport so she can travel to Scotland like she wants. I would love to see her be able to do that! My brother has also moved to Georgia near Atlanta. I’m thankful he’s in a good environment living wise.
It is really wild to read my answer to this from last year because in a way nothing has changed since then. My family is STILL having conversations about selling the house and my parents getting divorced but nothing has really been done to make that actually happen. Lots of talk and little action, so I feel once again like I want to detach myself from the situation, but that is very difficult to do because I am living at home now. I suppose a major milestone that happened this past year was very explicitly telling my mother I am gay. I have not found it necessary to have big coming out conversations with people in my life except my mother and Rachel, two people who seem to be the least comfortable with it. It felt really good to tell my mom in the moment, but since then it has not been so great. She seems to not believe me and insists on saying shady things and suggesting I'm choosing to be gay just for now. I would like to think it doesn't really affect me but it absolutely does. Especially because I am living at home again and we're around each other more. I wish it didn't matter.
Mi papá se cayo mientras yo estaba en portland se rompió la cadera y poateriormente después de la cirugía tuvo una complicación cardiaca... fueron tiempos muy muy difíciles! Posteriormente tuvo un diagnóstico se amnesia global transitoria y apenas hace un mes que lo veo mejor... ha sido realmente difícil este año pero el siempre me confunde entre el bienestar y el malestar!!! Lo quiero demasiado
My mom apologized for initiating her divorce with my dad, and I was able to tell her that I understood why she felt she had to do so. Previously, she believed her children perceived her divorce as an act of familial betrayal and selfishness. I was able to convey empathy and forgiveness, allowing her to understand that I no longer judge, or concern myself with decisions she made a decade ago. It affected me because I realized I had shed those more rigid allegiances of Team Mom and Team Dad. I love my parents as they are now. Their divorce, which once loomed so large, is now a mostly memory we're sorting through together, hopefully through forgiveness and love towards how we can more forward as a family today.
All of the major milestones in the past year have probably been my own. Whereas I've moved, changed jobs and gotten a puppy; my mother and brother's lives have remained fairly consistent. My mom did break her foot last summer which has given her a taste of her own mortality, if not just even mobility. I think that the experience will likely cause some other changes over the upcoming year.
I got all my family to utilize slack after my sister's graduation from medical school. This has made the family slightly more connected and we see and acknowledge one each other a bit more often than not. Its also helped me realized just how different we are all our in our family.
My father was diagnosed with dementia I thought it came suddenly but turned out my mother was hiding these changes for over a year and had we known this we could have made different and informed decisions regarding their living arrangements, now we r stuck with some wrong decisions we made as not aware of how this will affect all the family
I moved back to the house I share with my husband. And my oldest sister bought her first house. Since moving back and starting to share the house with Pat, I've begun observing our patterns of communication more. And some of it is disturbing. I haven't yet gotten enough insight to figure out how much of it is my part. And I'm not ready to take any actions until I get that sorted. Now that Rebecca has joined the ranks of homeowners, I look at my family as more stable. We are all self-supporting, all college educated (with 2 professional degrees included in the mix) and homeowners. I suppose it really shouldn't be a surprise, given we came from a family that owned homes, and valued education. But the logistics seemed daunting to me, and the fact that all 3 of us daughters have managed it feels like an achievement to me.
My dad was diagnosed with a rare condition called Guillame-Barre syndrome where you basically become paralyzed but the severity changes from person to person. My dad's doctor caught it early so his treatment really kept his condition from advancing very far. Everyone is grateful that he is better. But he seems so very weak in the aftermath and falls down/can't get up sometimes. Both of my parents are having health issues where they need to be hospitalized. The reality of aging is coming upon them, and to my sister, husband and I, the reality that they won't be around much longer is setting in.
This year my daughter started college! All summer I was thinking about how sad I was and how would I ever let her go, and alternatively so proud and ready to see her take her wings and fly. Now 3 weeks or so in and she has taken to college like a duck to water! She is so happy and she is working hard. I think she even enjoys the working hard. I could not be more proud! Yes, I miss her and I know she is exactly where she needs to be!
Think the answer that most readily comes to mind is that Leon turned 1! This felt like a big milestone because so many bad things seem to be able to occur in the first year of life. It felt like a happy celebration and somewhat of a relief when he turned 1. And, we made it to continue to breastfeeding until then, and still are. Leon turning 1 has made it easier for me. He sleeps more at night, he is more communicative, and he brings more joy than ever. If I could use one word that comes to mind with him, it would be joy.
I have in essence no family. My cousin's daughter sent me a Facebook request. That whole part of the family demonstrated hostility or ignored me since my parents died in 1994 and 1995. I was bowled over by this request, eventually honored it, but never heard a word from her again. That this was a major milestone that happened with my family this past year makes me very sad.
A major milestone... my parents retiring. This has affected me because it made me realize my parents are getting old. Their lives are changing, they are not at work all day. Perhaps a bit existential worries of them aging.
My parents are all but officially separated at this point. I've now gone on separate vacations and attended events all year long, relayed messages between them and had to listen to them speak negatively (one more than the other) to me. It's not fun to have to be impartial and be stuck in the middle, when I am the child. It's been difficult trying to treat them equally, with my time and attention, which is only worse when I have to "choose" who to see, visit, or call when I have limited time. I may have openly disagreed with how they're living their lives and do think that this was a long time coming, but actually living it has been harder than I thought it would be. My family dynamic has imploded and everyone is suffering.
James and Nikki have decided to move (back) to California, to Los Angeles specifically. I am trying to take it as a good thing because they seem so happy about it - I think Nikki is happy about going home and James is happy because Nikki is. It kills me to think of them being so far away; it's so different than how I thought my life would be. It literally alters the direction of my life - facing west instead of east, and it will change how we travel, it may even mean giving up the Berkshires, although that wouldn't happen for a long time, if ever.
no major milestone in the calendar year, but if we go back 12 months, then I would say our family holiday to Glacier and Yellowstone was the milestone in that the 4 of us were together and had a wonderful time--our adult children wanted to be with us and we with them and everyone organized things so it could work out! Otherwise, the only other family oriented milestone that I can think of is that my husband is firmly on the road to retirement--teaching 2/3 time and could stop at the end of this year, or do one more year 2/3 and then definitely stop. Retirement for him will change the dynamics of our life in ways neither of us can yet imagine.
Call it a major milestone and a half. We got our marriage papers after almost 30 years of living together.
My husband and I attended a memorial service for my sister-in-law's mother. It gave me a chance to see the rest of her family for the first time since the wedding 20 years ago and to meet some for the first time. I was grateful that I had retired and had the time to drive 800 miles and spend some time. It meant a lot that we showed up and reinforced the value of maintaining family ties.
This question is hard for me. I don't really have any family any more. My parents are dead, my siblings are dead, and I don't have any children. The closest thing I have is my boyfriend's family, who I'm not close with, and my own friends, who in many ways are my found family. Thinking about them, so many of them have come out, as trans and non-binary. My boyfriend struggles with his own queerness, and I do, occasionally, as well. But all in all, we are growing closer, and are becoming more confident and vulnerable with each other. I'm proud of the family I've made.
Justin’s grandma passed away about a month ago, and it’s been hard. We didn’t see her too often so sometimes it’s hard to remember that she’s gone. I know it’s hurting Justin but I don’t know how best to help him.
My brother and SIL bought a house, in the same city where my parents live; they're putting down roots. It's hopeful and happy, and kind of makes me want to move back there.
My father died. The effect is immense, widespread and multi-layered. There is loss - losing him and my 5-year long identity as a caregiver. There is opportunity in that loss. There is exhaustion and fear, and gratitude and relief. The future is simultaneously muddled and clear. Depressing, challenging and wondrous are my colors.
My dad turned 70 in December. Although he lives in Palm Springs, he was here in Washington that month, so I got to see him and spend time with him around the time of his birthday--which was the most time I'd spent with him in 30 years. He seemed a little stunned to be 70 and didn't want a fuss made. I turned 50 this year, and both birthdays have made me think about my preconceptions of age and what age actually means. When I was younger, 50 seemed old. And 70 seemed even older. But when I look at my life and myself at 50 and at my dad at 70, I'm seeing more and more that age can be just an arbitrary number. It's just a marker of the passing of time. It doesn't really mean anything about a person, their personality, their abilities, their emotions or their activities. Or their relevance. Now, "old" people are looking younger and younger to me.
Same answer as last year. Nothing big happened in my family but the family of man has really suffered, horrible fires, floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, etc. I am more frustrated than ever. My 1st response is wishing these right wing climate deniers a speedy death!
My daughter went to high school. She has more independence. She’s recognizing her self as an individual more and more. She needs to take on more family responsibilities like chores, without being asked. I think this is a good time for her.
My mom turned 70. I turned 40. My mom has new self care energy. She stopped working in Long Island for her long term employer. Seeing my mom age is hard. I am glad she is taking it more in stride.
Dealing with the fact that my nephew wanted to live with his mother, far away from our family. At first we were sad but now we understand it was for the best because he looks happy to be with his mum and baby sister. Another milestone this year was to spend summer holidays with my parents, brother and nephew at the same house because we were not together at holidays a long time. It was difficult at first but then it was good not to be alone and funny by making jokes with each other.
My mom moved closer to us. Reminder that life is short and relationships valuable.
TWO! I got married and Jeremy moved into his own apartment with supports. Holy smokes. Marrying Dietmar is the best thing I have done in my life, or close to it. I feel accompanied, loved, supported, challenged, and seen in deep and meaningful ways. Jeremy moving to his apartment is something I really didn't think I would ever see. I am deeply moved by his tenacity, willingness to try to change when things go amiss, and his will to live the fullest, most independent life he can. He is a rock star in my opinion. I feel free and unencumbered in ways I have not felt in over 25 years...incredible open space for me to find e again. Third major milestone is that I completed SPIRIT and started Palo Alto University. I feel like I am coming into my own in a way that I have never felt in my life. Its an awesome and terrifying moment of change. I am going through the fear, and conquering the terror one assignment at a time.
Because I have (almost) no living family, they don't have milestones, except in my memory. I'll mention this because it will happen in the year between this 10Q and the next, but I'm anxious about how I'll feel in 2019 when it's both the 25th anniversary of my mother's death in 1974, and what would have been her 100th birthday. 25 years alone is more than half my adult life, sometimes I feel the pain of that.
I feel a little exhausted by this question... Family has been a big focus the last 2 years since my parents started their divorce. It feels like nothing has happened since last year, actually. Just more fighting, more lies, more confusion, more anger. I do really wonder when things will start to shift. I learned that dad is dating someone new and is maybe in love, not that he'd ever honestly share any of that with me in an unfiltered way. It's frustrating. So much of this is just about accepting that it is where it is right now...
We bought a semi truck in April although husband didnt get to start really driving it until end of June. Then it went into the shop five times over the next three months costing more than 10k in repairs. Sometimes it makes life easier, but most times its just more stress.
My brother got engaged! Made me feel really happy for him and his SO. I was previously skeptical since they haven’t been dating very long, but watching the engagement video you can see how I love they are with each other. Very special. Everyone is excited for them.
Since nothing has changed from last year, and I am just estranged from my family as I used to be, I will just replace "family" with friends. Nadia gave birth, and has been in and out of Greece most of the year. This resulted in me looking for new friends and kind of succeeding in finding them (Nabiha, Agata, Indah). Arianna moved away. It has definitely been a year of shifts in my Berlin friendships - a conscious step I took and that I am proud of.
Mom going into assisted living has made us confront her diminishing capabilities. It has brought home the importance of frequent calls to check up on her.
I can only think of the milestone of losing my mother. This has been monumental and influences all the things that I write about. It has affected me in ways I can not articulate in words. I never truly knew loss before. Grandparents, my mother-in-law, nothing was like this loss. I know now what it is to walk in the world without my mother. Grief fills me. However I am learning to be me without having my mother as a living presence in my life.
We moved after being in one town for over thirty years. Our dog died and we were depressed. Initially, it was traumatic, stressful and disorienting. I was an emotional wreck. Eventually, I adjusted and adapted to our new location and residence. It became more of an adventure than a chore and I'm glad we took a chance to change. I'm enjoying our new digs for many reasons. Highest is that we overcame a difficult situation.
No major milestones that I can think of...I guess that could be considered a good thing. My sister got back together with her husband, which hopefully is a good thing. I still haven't spent any time with him since the reunion.
See answers 1 and 2. My sister is dying -- what more is there to say?
Our foster dog was finally adopted! We were so worried about him. But he is with such a loving family. My heart just sings every time I see a photo of them being so happy. After taking a short break, we decided to foster again. This dog also has problems, sometimes even worse problems. Once again, we find ourselves worrying about this little guy. He's got some absolutely great qualities, but some of his bad habits will make adopting him out very hard. I'm sure we'll say we'll take a break but I doubt it. We're such suckers for a poor puppy.
I think a big milestone for my family this year was my graduation weekend. It was the first time that my parents, my brother, and I have all been together just the four of us for an extended period of time without drama since my brother's college graduation two years ago. That weekend was incredibly emotional and difficult for all of us, and for a while it felt like things would never get back to normal. In a way, they haven't. We've all changed, and our relationships with each other have changed. But I think we've all only gotten closer, in certain ways, and more independent in others. Despite the negative shadow of my brother's graduation, this weekend was a happy occasion, and we all enjoyed being together and celebrating the positivity. I'm so thankful for my family, and especially thankful that my brother is in such a better place than he was for his own graduation. I'm also incredibly grateful for our relationship, which has only gotten stronger in the past two years.
I became a parent smack in the middle of last year's 10Q (which was later in September, for the record). So, the major milestone is surviving a year of parenthood and getting to know the silly, adorable, loving, wiggly goofnugget that is Skyler as she grows and expands her horizons every single day. It's quite the ride and I can't wait to see what her next year brings.
Nick quit his job! He was the most responsible one of us, and now he is the least responsible one, and I'm so proud of him! Also this really makes me want to kick my Freedom Plan into high gear.
My best friends had a baby. I don't like babies and never know how to handle them - I'm really hoping that I keep interacting with the baby as well as I did the first time, even though my friends live far away now. This is the first baby I've wanted to like, and I'm hoping to be an awesome 'aunt' to him as he grows up.
Amber and Maggie and Jamie all moved here, lived with us for some months and then moved into their own apartments. Jamie is working on maintaining a friendship with Amber, despite how hard it is to pin her down or get her to respond to invitations. Also, Amy (and I guess Brian, as well) stopped speaking to me after December, and I struggle to keep in touch with the boys. But Maggie is here, and very excited about me all the time. Her enthusiasm makes me smile.
After years of disrespect and ill treatment from my two half sisters following our mother's death, I simply stopped accepting phone calls or interacting with either of them in any way. I am elated at the time and energy I have channeled away from these two toxic people into my work and my marriage.
I've moved to Miami in July 2, 2017. All friends and family are happy for me but miss me a lot. Mom and I talk all the time and deep conversation about life and her. I'm happy for this new change.
My family seems to be more and more estranged from each other. I was able to visit with everyone this year and that was really meaningful to me. I am thinking I need to be the one to plan a reunion or get together to help unify us.
I recently moved to CA from NYC where my daughter lives with her family and even so I go to visit I prefer living close to them. What makes even harder is not working, not that productive with my days except I force myself to walk at least 4/5 times a week.
Within the past year, I’ve seen my “baby” brother grow and blossom into man all his own. It’s honestly made me cry more than once to think about how proud of him I am.
So many! We sold our first house, mom sold her house, and we've had a number of family health issues. But I think we're all happier than we were a year ago.
My son turned 30. He is on the Autism Spectrum. He has friends, a girlfriend, a job, his own apartment! He is a college graduate. When he was 4, the doctor said someone like him might go on to high school. Needless to say, we didn't listen to that! Now he is 30 and honestly, it hit me. He's a grown.up. ... and he will be OKAY
There are three big things that happened this past year in my family, and each in a different generation. Eve graduated from college, which means that all 4 cousins on my dad’s side have graduated and are real adults in the real world. Dad retired a little over a month ago, and I know he’s adjusting to having more freedom and less stress. Finally, Nana and Papa moved to a retirement community and sold their house that they had owned and loved and lived in for 40 years. All of these things have affected me personally, and I think that the biggest reason why is that they all signify the aging of my family - Eve and I aren’t young anymore (we’re in our 20s), my parents certainly aren’t young anymore - with retirement and accumulating health issues, and my grandparents (though relatively healthy and living independently) made a huge transition to move into a smaller and more manageable space. It makes me sad that I live so far from my family and see them so rarely. I hate to miss special moments and events and meals because I really feel that I’m losing time with these people that I cherish more than anything. Talking on the phone is amazing, but it’s not the same as truly spending time in person with the most important people in my life.
Son Jason turned 40. He has worked hard through college and medical school and now as a dermatologist. He has always been so interested in learning. I hope he finds fulfillment in this path and that it becomes more than a means to an end. I just want him to find value and passion in his life. I as a mother still worry about my "kids". This is parenting and it has been such an important part of my life and has brought me so much fulfillment.
My grandmother is no longer well enough to live independently. After a couple of stays in the hospital she is now getting ready to move to a rest home, which is really hard to see. She’s been fiercely capable of looking after herself for as long as I’ve known her and to watch her withering away is not something I wish upon anyone. On a positive side, while it has been stressful for our family to share the workload of hospital visits, supermarket runs, life admin etc it has brought us much closer together and a more strong family unit. We’re also seeing much more of my grandmother and hearing more of her life stories - as a Holocaust survivor.
As far as the milestone, I’m sure it has affected the family differently than it has me. Becoming engaged to a woman was not what they expected. It has been a wonderful life changing event. I couldn’t be happier and for those family members who are happy for me and support me I am grateful.
My major milestone this year was going away to college. Although managing my time was at some points stressful (especially now, going into sophomore year with many more responsibilities on my plate), I've found the success I've had extremely rewarding. Although I am growing more independent (and my parents' helicopter tendencies have grown more annoying/embarrassing as time progresses) I feel as though I have a renewed relationship and responsibility to them and the rest of my family. I want to succeed, not just for my own happiness, but so I can repay them for the love and support they've shown me.
This summer marked the fifth anniversary of the day my dad died. I knew that we would have to do something special to commemorate him, so I arranged for my siblings and I to take a trip to Port Aransas, which is a place he and Mom really loved to take us when we were kids. Most importantly of all I got us seats for a deep sea fishing trip--the very same one we used to go on all together. That trip meant so much to me. Being on the boat, just the same as it always was, all the sights and smells and the hot sun and the sea spray and the fifty gazillion different colors of the ocean--I couldn't have imagined it being more perfect than it was (though I could have done without the very brief episode of seasick-nausea I had a couple of hours in). My sister even caught a fish--breaking a decades-long streak of our family never catching anything! It turned out to be an inedible fish, so it was thrown back, but I'm going to go ahead and say it counts. We hadn't really been back to Port A in a major way since Dad died, so it was nice to see all our old haunts again, even if it meant remembering and feeling him in all of them. We also learned some unfortunate things looking at a few of our favorite places through adult eyes: there were "MAGA" and Trump signs everywhere, which I don't suppose should be surprising considering that a small Texas town is a small Texas town, coastal or not. One of our favorite places to shop as kids had Confederate flag merchandise for sale, which for all I know was always there, I just never noticed it as a kid. Needless to say, I won't feel bad for staying away for a while this time. But the non-consumer parts of the trip were incredible. We stayed with our grandma at her house and worked on a 1000-piece puzzle, which, much to our surprise when we went to open it, was made of a photograph taken by our dad! (It had been among some of his things that his ex had brought by a couple of weeks before the trip, but we didn't realize he had it because he had been the photographer!) We walked the beach and found treasures just like Dad used to, and we watched a tanker come in from the jetty, and chased seagulls, and collected pieces of sand dollars, and one new thing: because the water was so warm this year, we spotted about a half-dozen small stingrays in the shallows while we walked. Honestly, it was magical. I miss Dad all the time, still. I thought maybe this trip would be a way to say, "it's been five years, we hit a milestone, I'll still miss him but I can move on now." And in some ways, I have. For example, I typed all of this without tearing up, which I don't think I would have been able to do this time last year. But I still miss him every day, and think of him in little, wholly unexpected things. When he died, I remember telling a coworker (I was at the newspaper at the time) about how miserable I felt even though it had "already" been a couple of months. She immediately showed me the background of her computer, which was a picture of her and her father. She said, with tears in her eyes, "it's been ten years and I still cry about it." That made me feel better. I think it would be easy to say, "shoot, it's going to hurt THAT MUCH for THAT LONG?" But instead, I took heart in the fact that if it does, I'm not doing anything wrong. And I've also learned otherwise since--it doesn't hurt THAT BAD ALL THE TIME FOR THAT LONG. But when I need to hurt, I can. Remembering Dad this summer was painful but needed. AndI was happy I got to take a vacation with my siblings, whom I love, to celebrate someone whom we all loved, together. Maybe we'll go back again for the 10th anniversary (or maybe again before that!).
My Mum died. It affected me greatly, although I wasn't able to really get a handle on how it was affecting me - hence my eating instead. I turned 70 and retired from Kaiser Permanente. Adrian and family came down - the first visit since he has left 5+ years ago. Stephen came and Jeffrey came. I was humbled in particular by both of these coming.
We had our first family vacation with our children and both of their significant others. It signifies another transition in my life and it makes me happy to know my son and daughter are moving along in their lives with people who care about them.
I don't know about a milestone, but I had wonderful words from my cousin - - after knowing about my very challenged adulthood, and the work I've done in changing myself, he acknowledged the change and more or less said I redeemed myself and he respected what I've done. I have very little family, he's my closest relative, and this meant so much to me - -
We embarked on designing and building our own eco-home. It’s been challenging in many unexpected ways, even though I am a construction project manager. It’s been on the whole a very positive experience.
I'm a Mum! It's made me happier, an emotional mess, calmer, more stressed, worry more, worry less... all of the above depending on the day! It's given me a whole new identity and some of my old self seems to be taking a break. I worried about being one of those parents that loses their own sense of self and just becomes all about their kids. But I've realised you have to give your entire self over for a while. This tiny person needs all of the care and attention, all of YOU, and more. For a little while. 'Me' is still there though, and there might be interests and passions that I don't have time or energy for right now, but in time I will, and as the little person grows I'll share with her the things I love.
Hmm, I'm not sure how to answer this question. In some ways, a lot of things feel the same. But I guess the fact that I finally got to see family members in Asia that I hadn't seen in twenty years (read: not in working memory) counts. It was weird to go back, especially since it became very quickly apparent to me that I was a tourist in a country where I have so much heritage. I think this was frustrating to my mother, but given that my siblings and I were taught very little about this culture (beyond the food my mom would make at home), combined with the fact that most of my closest family members live in the U.S., I'm not sure where I was supposed to pick up all this knowledge. "Culture shock" is not quite the right phrase, because it was more subtle, and seemed more significant to me. The people I met were family, but world's apart. And that's an idea that I think I'm still grappling with.
No brainer... my daughter's wedding (already answered another question with this but that's ok... it really was a major milestone and can be in two answers)... this has affected me very deeply... having a daughter find her beshert and get married is amazing... and in this case it is even more so because my new son-in-law is not Jewish and so this was a journey for me which was not expected years ago... but the journey was a satisfying and successful one which culminated in a wedding that couldn't have been more perfect and has left me looking forward to all the wonderful things the future holds for this made-for-each-other couple whom I love endlessly... xxx
Jan's loss of her home and insurance payments made her whole again, all within a year! We rallied together as we do in a challenge. I'm 65. Medicare. Social Security. All good. Decided to BE retired☺
This past year wasn't a great one for family. The most positive developments happened for my mom. She has a serious boyfriend, the first serious relationship she has been in since my dad passed away in 2001. So yeah that's a big one. Additionally, she has also decided it is time to retire and is now on course to do that by the end of 2018. Good stuff for golden years prep. It's good to see her find companionship and know that she has a stable source of joy in her life now.
Our child suffers greatly from depression and gender dysformia. To say the least, it's been a learning experience both about their problem as well as proceeding with the presumption that nothing can get better till they want to get better.
My sister had a baby, so I am officially an uncle. I feel this would make me be more present with my family. It’s difficult as I don’t live near them but also I don’t get on with them that well. Hopefully it’ll make me and my sister closer at least.
This year, my sister disconnected from my Mom. It's odd because this doesn't directly affect me, but seeing the whole thing from my sister's perspective, and my mom's perspective has been really interesting, and a little sad too. My Mom and my sister have very different personality types, and yet neither of them are great at adapting to the other, despite both of them putting strong effort into this. What my mom saw as support, my sister saw as pressure and stress. She decided to stop talking to her back in April of this year and they haven't spoken since. This is a milestone because it has enabled me to see a side of my mom I'm not really used to seeing. I'm hoping that this is resolved next year as it hurts me to see my mom this way, and I don't think my sister really understands the pain and impact this is making my mom feel.
My daughters bat mitzvah. I’m so proud and excited for what lies ahead for her.
My youngest son got engaged and we had a new grandson. It makes me feel older, a lot older but also makes me really see the legacy of people and how their love keeps families growing and spreading. I love having my family double and triple in size!
We moved house - bought a much larger house, a much larger mortgage, a greater level of stress. The pressure I feel is to stay working at the type of job and at the level I am currently to ensure we have enough to pay the mortgage. But I am not happy in my job. The counter argument is that we can always sell and downsize if I implode, quit, and find a lower paying job (or, more likely the sequence would be: implode, find another job, then quit).
My son became a Bar Mitzvah in 5778. He spent many months preparing and as a family, we all worked to plan with invitations, the reception/party, photos, and picking special outfits for the day. On the day itself, everything was going well until we got a few minutes into the service. Very early in the service, during one of the opening anthems, my elderly aunt from Pennsylvania collapsed. The service was stopped for 30 minutes while EMTs and police came into the sanctuary of our synagogue, stabilized her, and brought her to a nearby hospital. It turned out she had an arrhythmia and she had to have a pacemaker inserted, and a couple of days overnight at the hospital. The service continued and my son was amazing - he was so poised and confident as he chanted his Torah and Haftarah portions. He had a fantastic time at his afternoon party. My son was an inspiration to me. He taught me how to overcome a tough obstacle, persevere, and step up when you are in the spotlight. This was my son's moment to shine and he did so brilliantly. I couldn't have been prouder.
My father passed away in December. We lost my mother in 2000, so this was the major milestone of losing our last living parent. Even though I'm in my forties, the thought of being an orphan does come to mind, along with the thought that now I really have to be a grownup if I wasn't already. I had the great good fortune to be able to spend the last 6 weeks of my father's life with him, even though I live in another state. I'm so glad, and so grateful to my husband, who made it possible. I got to spend quality time with my father and say goodbye to him. I wish I could have had him with me longer, but he was 84 years old and had had a wonderful life, and he was ready and didn't have to suffer very long. I got to spend more quality time with my siblings during those six weeks than I had since we all lived at home, and I also got to see close friends from my childhood several times, when I'm usually lucky to see them once a year. Even though I live farther away than my siblings, I took most of my dad's furniture because I was the only one who had room for it. So now I have my mother's china cabinet and an antique writing table my father bought for $12 and refinished into an heirloom. It's very meaningful to have those things in my home. My father came from humble roots and spent his life working to support us, and he didn't have much money left near the end of his life. But he had a small life insurance policy and a house, so my siblings and I inherited a modest amount that will make a significant different in our lives. It's comforting to know my father is still taking care of me.
Youngest child got married in October last year. We are now officially empty-nesters. Actually, we've been practically such for a couple of years. The freedom is great, but there is a aimlessness about it after 30+ years of raising children. Looking for that next step.
Well I got engaged. So I’m officially becoming part of a different family. The process of getting married is difficult when everyone has their opinions like family. I don’t want orthodoxy, they do etc. It can be hard to navigate. There is so much joy but there is also that tension of what people expect the joy to look like. Everyone brings their own expectations. It is not always possible to meet them for everyone. I do not feel orthodox or traditional and I want my wedding to reflect that. Unfortunately my dad is traditional and is orthodox. It’s a lot to have the demands of another family on me as well. My MIL is very time demanding. And that makes it difficult to want to spend time with her. That’s not easy.
I really can't think of any major milestones that have affected me. JB finished graduate school, JR finished his flight training, neither has really impacted me. I guess one thing would be when JB decided to stay in Europe longer and not come home to help me after my knee/ankle surgery. I initially felt a little betrayed, but I spoke with her about it honestly and told her how I felt, apologized for my initially pissy response and we are all good. Glad I dealt with it in a healthier manner than I could have.
Again, the birth of our granddaughter and me re-retiring. Having a little baby and seeing our children care for and nurture their children is priceless. As for re-retiring... just more time fora Grandpa Daycare...
A major family milestone from this past year was when my grandma turned 85 and my whole family including my cousins, aunt, uncles, grandma, sister, mom, and dad, all went up to an air b & b that we rented in the Berkshires. We spent the the whole weekend there doing super fun activities and I loved it. My grandma did make a speech on Saturday night that felt a little like a sad goodbye speech but to me I didn’t understand because it doesn’t seem like she is anywhere near having to say goodbye. Sure, she’s 85 and it’s not like she is going to live until she is 300 but her husband, my grandpa, died when he was 92 but you really saw him declining, and although she isn’t as sharp as she was when she was 60, she doesn’t seem like he was towards the end of his life. Anyway, her speech made me a bit sad but we ended up going out for ice cream afterwards and it was super fun.
The only milestones in my family this year were my twins (my babies!) turning 21. Since they were away from school, it was a more remote occasion. However, when they came home on break we were able to go out for a drink together, which more than anything else reinforced that they are now truly adults.
My daughter and her SO bought their first home. It makes me feel successful as a parent.
A major milestone that happened with my family this year was my sister announced her wedding to a non-Jew. She also asked me to officiate at her wedding. This has affected me because I am not comfortable with interfaith marriages where one partner is not converting to Judaism. To not have more conflict in the family, I agreed to officiate. I am praying that my feelings will be resolved by November.
Two smaller family milestones happened this year- my grandmothers 90th birthday and my sister buying her first home. Both events have forced me to sit with my age and feel the passage of time as well as to soak up the sweet moments when they are happening. To see my grandmother so touched by the unification of her loved ones has made me be more conscious of the impact I have on others. It also showed me how important acting swiftly is when you feel there is something to be done, as time is precious. In terms of my sisters milestone, I have seen how it has affected my parents and how they have had to sit with the passing of time as well. They are headed out to visit her soon and my mother has expressed to me that she doesn't truly know my sister as an adult as she once did when she was living near, and this realization was born out of the fact that my sister is old enough to buy her own home.
My daughter has started college in Charleston, which is good, since it's just down the road, but it's off to a rocky start. She had to live in an off-campus apartment, and her roommate is really unpleasant, which activates Molly's anxiety. I think she'll be OK, though. She needs to take control of her life and make the decision to do her work and keep to a schedule without me being there. She's doing about as well as 60% or so of the first year students I've had, maybe 70%, but she's also really bright, so she should be OK. The funny thing is that if it weren't for those difficulties, I think I'd be fine at home. I'm actually kind of enjoying not having to think about things except work and such.
After the death of my husband, I learned to lean into my friends and family more, ask for help, and to say yes to everything. When my recently widowed father decided to move in, I said yes, and it has made such a positive impact on my family.
My husband and I completed the Family to Family course offered by NAMI to help us relate better with our mentally ill son. It was a wonderful experience and it has been very very helpful for our family.
Robert entered Junior school. A time to reflect on how quickly time is passing and how quickly my kids are changing, growing and becoming their own people. I still wish to cuddle a baby, but it's enjoyable seeing them become the people they're going to be.
I have two ailing grandparents, one on each side, with advanced or advancing dementia. My grandma moved to a full time care facility about 6 months ago, and my grandpa is being bounced around between kids and my grandma. It's been hard to watch, especially from across the country. Not because they are ailing but because it has brought out the worst in all my aunts and uncles. The bickering and resentment on both sides has made me disengage, probably when my family needed me the most. Being 3000 miles away is almost an excuse in an act of preservation to not get sucked into the madness. It also has made me nervous and starting to worry about my dad, and his health more and more. Lots of nervous energy around health and mortality.
Opa was officially diagnosed with Alzheimers a couple weeks ago. We knew he was progressing to that point, and when it became official I think we all felt some relief that there was finally a name and a protocol to follow. I cherish the moments I get to spend with him when we can still talk about current events and what I'm learning in school.
The major milestone would definitely be my parents breaking up. It's taken a toll on my in a variety of ways, but the most being that I feel a lot of guilt for not wanting to be my parents friend, therapist, baby or confidant. Their breakup hasn't had anything to do with me or my sisters and so I don't think their processing (or bitching) should have anything to do with me either. It's also brought up a lot of shit with my dad, around him not being a present human/parent/father to any of his kids. He's been very absentee, and genuinely feels like he should be credited with the same relationship and love that my mom receives from my sisters and I, simply for providing financial support for "all those years." He's a narcissist and I've known that for some time now, before I even got into therapy and very much so once I did start therapy, so it's no surprise that somehow he's made the fact that his infidelity (my mom walked in on him about to hook up with her younger sister of 10 years) broke up their marriage and way for him to be the victim. He's delusional and I think what's taken the most toll has been trying to listen to all his bullshit narcissistic ranting about how he's "going to do better," and "is so glad he realizes he wasn't the day we wanted him to be," instead of taking any ownership. It's basically solidified the feeling that I hate him as a human being, but made me feel guilty about it because now I can't hide behind fake-talking to him through my mom every time I talk to her, I can't hide behind a 2 min call on our birthdays, fathers day, etc., and now I have to actually stand alone and tell him I don't want to expand our relationship because it will only cause me pain and anguish. Also, my mom has a problem with boundaries and this breakup has made me have to say that in plain words to her which was not fun.
My daughter moved back to the west coast. While she is still 350 miles away the shorter distance makes it much easier to gather as a family. This makes me happy.
My oldest started Kindergarten and they both started a new school. I can hardly believe my daughter is old enough to be in Kindergarten. It is a reminder that time goes by in a flash and to enjoy and soak up every minute of their childhood. Even the difficult times.
My son is growing into a young man. He started junior high school and i realized how well we have brought him up as i am proud of his decision making and planning. He is an awesome kid that i love with all of my heart!
A major milestone is that it was discovered that my grandmother has cancer. This impacted my family in a large way, it scared myself and my family and it has changed us a lot. Shes fine now
I've hit lots of milestones with my family this year. Not all necessarily good. Cousins who I haven't seen in years have come to visit and I could not have been happier. Having them here and spending time with them made me realize how important and valuable family is. My siblings and I have been getting closer and closer every day. That's another thing I take for granted. I realize that without them, I wouldn't be who I am. With that being said, I've realized a really big reason as to why I am not as close to my mom as I would like to be. She thinks it's because of another reason. But honestly, I feel really betrayed by her. In a situation where I confided in her and needed her the most, she let me down in a way where I thought a mother should never let down their child. But such is life. I really don't care for developing a relationship with her anymore because of her mental state. She just is not stable enough. It makes me feel sad, but it's the honest truth. If I put any more energy or time into repairing our relationship, it'll just end up hurting me in the end. Maybe one day she'll realize. Maybe she won't. I know I'll probably regret not trying to develop this relationship, but I don't think I'm ready or that I'll ever be ready..
My maternal grandfather turned 90 last October and has been slowing down. My grandmother has been stressed out by that, and doesn't know how to handle the fact that he's just getting older and can't do what he used to. They got rid of their car and lost a lot of independence and my parents started driving out to LA every weekend to take them to the movies and on errands. It has gotten to the point where my parents are building an addition to their house so that my grandparents can live independently with them. They will sell their house, one they've lived in for 60+ years, and move 30+ miles. This has been troubling for me to witness, but ultimately makes my grandmother feel less alone and at ease. It also has highlighted the fact that my parents are also getting older, which makes me sad to think about. I always think of them as young and with so much life ahead of them. They aren't old yet, but is this what is going to happen down the line? I would do anything for them in a heartbeat.
I became closer to my daughter and further from my son. Both relationships affect me deeply. I feel so privileged to be a part of Candice’s life, and truly delight in her company. And I am so devastated by Jordan’s contempt for and rejection of me, and simply cannot understand the reason why things between us took such a terrible turn. I see little hope of our repairing the relationship, but I hope he knows I am still out here, I still love him, and my door is always open.
My youngest nephew and niece graduated from high school. We have no little kids left in our immediate family. I worry for their futures as the outside world becomes less and less hospitable. I wish they had the opportunities that their grandparents had to build a life of their own, on their own. I fear they will never get to enjoy key accomplishments like landing well-paying and fulfilling jobs, owning homes, or starting families. I care so much for their happiness. I’m afraid this world will break their hearts as kindness and generosity have given way to cruelty and greed. With so many Americans working themselves to be bone everyday just to stay afloat, cynicism is winning and it’s tragic.
In February I asked my father to stop talking/bragging about the times he physically abused me in the 80's. I calmly asked if we could change the subject. After he hung up, my mother asked me why I make up such lies. I responded to this by giving her specific, concrete examples, many of which she witnessed. She then asked me "Well, what did you do make him do that?" Long story short, I told her to research "gaslighting" and vowed that I will end the torture of enduring the holidays with them. Their blatant denial of reality gave the freedom I need to move on and stop seeking their acknowledgment of how cruelly I was treated.
My nephew was born. He is my brother’s son, and the first grandchild on my mother’s side. Maddox was an incredible surprise — he was unplanned, but his parents were prepared. Now the Buddha baby, the Potato Pope, our little all-star is four months old and already starting to take on the world. I can’t wait to see him grow.
My brother in law passed away. I was with him the day before he died and helped him make all of his final arrangements. I'm not sure how it has affected me? It seems like the family is more fragmented.
My great-grandmother passed away. She was 99 and I'm happy on one hand because she really didn't want to be 100. I miss her and her stories, even though we didn't get along very well to start when I lived with her. It did allow me to see my cousins again, whom I hadn't seen in years. While some family time was good, it also reminded me of how little I have in common with most of my dad's family. So on the other hand I am happy to have less reason to be around them.
Our daughter got married! It was a wonderful, joyous weekend filled with family and friends (and lots of people I didn’t know, because the bride and groom are well-loved). It has been fun to watch them grow as a couple and make their own way in the world, especially since my husband and I just celebrated our 25th anniversary this summer.
Maybe not a "major milestone," but Christopher and I went on a week-long Road Scholar trip to Yellowstone with my brother and sister-in-law. I adore them both. We don't get to see them nearly often enough, and we never have that much time together all at once. It was a wonderful trip, and such a joy to spend it with these two very dear people.
I honestly can't think of any other major milestone with my family other than selling my childhood home. It was bittersweet. I really loved the opportunity to grow up in such a great home, but I also realized that it was just a building. I loved the experiences and the people that created those experiences. I also learned that I don't need as much as I thought I did. That's freeing in many ways.
My mother died. It finally allowed me to bury the baggage of a lifetimes abuse. It allowed me to move on and let go of emotions and anger that have split our family apart. It cost me a brother and allowed me to come to grips with the fact that this women destroyed our family but I can forgive her. This is my life and I will never allow another person to try to poison it. No matter who they are.
This past year, nothing major has happened. Although, I did get a pair of adorable rats and they have brought even more love into my life.
We welcomed our second child into our family. Our first is delighted by him and while it is challenging to raise two children (so much more than one), it is an immeasurable joy. I am trying to savor this time, and am looking forward to when they can play together.
As self-indulgent as it feels, coming out to the family as genderqueer was probably the most momentous of all events. Remarkably, both of my parents were rather supportive out of the gate. The biggest hurdle was the reaction I received from my aunt. Her refusal to call me by the name Jack because it was too hard for her to not associate that with her husband was the tipping point. As she progressed to accusing me of co-opting his and my grandfather's identities rather than finding my own, my ire rose. As the argument progressed, I found strength within me to advocate for myself and stand in my sacred space of truth, calling her out for her unabashed derision. Although she eventually acquiesced and gave a half-hearted apology, the experience was momentous for me. It showed me that I do have a sense of self and am able to defend it. That, above all, is all I can ask of myself.
Grace going off to college was big -- evidence that she's growing up, becoming her own woman. At the same time, it was so neat to see her continued close connection with Sam, and the frequent phone calls and texts between them. Beth and Nate find out more about what Grace is up to from Sam than from Grace! I love those kids so much. I'm so proud to be their Cool Aunt.
Dad has become "old" and much more frail. In the past, I haven't given a lot of thought to dad dying or getting old. However, it is now very much on the front burner of my mind. I'm not constantly worrying, but with his diagnosis of colitis, and his sleeping all the time, he now seems like an old man. I know I am blessed to have had dad for 56 years, but the thought of him not being in my life someday is so sad to me. Please G-d, give dad health and many more years of a fulfilling life.
My parents paid off their mortgage this year! They've worked so hard. Especially as immigrants who came here with very little, it's inspiring to see and feel. It also helps me to have more compassion toward them. They were sacrificial, disciplined, yet so giving to us growing up (and now too), even when we were bratty and not understanding of what we know now. At the same time it's a lot to live up to. I think about wealth and where I want to be and although I know I can and will have what they have, the world today feels a bit harder to reach some of those levels.
My cousin Michele's wedding happened. I'm so happy for her even though we aren't super close. I don't feel very affected by it, but at the wedding I realized how distant my relationships in my extended family are. I wish I was close with my cousins, and I wish we could see each other more often and talk about real shit rather than just "so what are you up to since I last saw you 3 years ago?" conversations. When I'm with my extended family, I realize how my chosen family of my friends and community are so much more important to me and relevant to my life.
One of the boys graduated from college this year, and we came together as a family to celebrate that. We took the boys to go ziplining in Grants Pass, OR and we did the cave tour in Cave Junction. It was a chance to share something that made us happy with them, and to make a lasting memory as a family, and I am really glad we were able to do it. Looking back over the year, we have been able to spend more time in general with our parents and immediate circle of relatives than in years prior, and I have enjoyed every minute.
My mom's passing was difficult for us all in different ways. I also think it was especially hard for a family not used to expressing emotions or sharing them with each other. A small silver lining was that it brought Elizabeth and I very close extremely quickly. She was incredibly heartfelt throughout the year and seemed to know exactly how to be and what to say, despite not meeting much of my family at all. It will be one of the great joys in life that my mom got to meet Elizabeth, and we got to spend a wonderful weekend together in February.
A big milestone for me and my family was when my son went away to college on the East Coast. I was deeply affected by his leaving home, and it was made worse because he is a terrible communicator and I would go for weeks or months without a word. Once he was taken to the ER by ambulance during this time and I barely got any information at all. It triggered a stress-related illness in me and I struggled with anxiety and depression. Ultimately it caused me to make my self-care a priority and I think my son and I have a better relationship overall for all the upheaval of the past year.
As I described last year, my mother died. In the Jewish faith, it is customary to hold an unveiling ceremony one year after the death. This is where the veil covering her tombstone was removed. I traveled from Hawaii to the Mainland, & as always it was wonderful to visit with my family. My dad at 92 is doing excellent!
I don't feel like I've had any major milestones but I have felt strongly the transition from being in avelut and being a regular person again. Things like playing in the band, going to shows, parties, weddings, listening to music... reclaiming those things took on a variety of forms. It wasn't necessarily easy to jump back in. It felt awkward and uncomfortable. I felt almost guilty for having fun. But that is so much who I am. Denying those aspects of myself meant sublimating so much of what makes me - me. I am grateful to now be able to fully enjoy and embrace life. But I think the experience of not having that level of joy for a year was not only meaningful in terms of how I was able to use that time to focus on my Dad, but I am now so grateful and appreciative to have joy and Simcha back in my life. My goal is to not take it for granted.
It's not so much a family milestone, as much as a personal milestone about family. I realized in therapy that my parents' fears do not need to be my fears —I am a strong, capable adult, and am capable of doing things that they are afraid of. I don't want their life, and I don't have to be worried about having their life because that's not my character.
I turned 57 and it affected me because I am not where I hoped I would be at 57.
We move to Oakland! After 13 years of living in San Francisco, we sold our house and moved across the Bay. For a period of time, we thought we wanted to move to Petaluma, further away from the influence of the tech world. But I decided that living in a more diverse community needed to be a priority for us. We continue to wrestle with what it means to be gentrifiers but are really glad we made the move.
This is a tough one. Hmmm. Well, my dad reached his “one year before retirement” date. It’s purportedly happening in May 2019, but he keeps vacillating. Partially that’s because he’s afraid they don’t have enough retirement saved after the early job losses and then bankruptcy. He needs to retire though - work somewhere part time and relax. Enjoy life. And yet, a part of me is petrified about him retiring. Dad is 67. His brother, Uncle George, was set to retire at age 70. Less than 6 months before retirement and he was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and died within a few months. I can’t imagine life without my dad. I won’t imagine life without my dad. He needs to stick around until I’m at least 50 and he’s 81. Wow, I just realized here’s 31 years between us. A whole young adult. How did I never know that before? Oy. This was a rough question to answer at 11:30pm after a 14-hour day answering comps questions. :/ I’m not sure how to transition this. Really, my fears aside, I do hope dad can retire and enjoy retirement for a good couple of decades. He deserves it.
Our 21 year old grandson announced his engagement with a wedding date in Jan 2019 We were thrilled and surprised
Nothing major happened. Only the realization that my family is shrinking and will continue to do so as people age. And I will eventually be left with just my sisters. And that is depressing.
My Mom and I have both hit the one year mark of being cancer free. It has made me jump into life realizing it could change any day. I go camping by myself, I make my own clothes and fo what I want within the boundaries I have been allowed. May it all be for a blessing.
My brother and Sister in Law had a their first baby. I'm thrilled for them, as they have been trying a long time. I'm also a little jealous, since having a new baby is so special. I also have a bit of triggered trauma from when my babies were born - the birth itself and lack of sleep thereafter.
My dad has retired from the federal service after 25 (?) years. He worked for the CIA, FBI, DoS, and his placements led my family all over the world. I am personally sad that he is retiring -- mostly because I no longer will be able to tell friends he is in the CIA and receive the inevitable question of if he's a secret agent -- but at the same time I am very happy for him. He is closing a chapter in his life and entering a new one. My dad doesn't know what his new job will be, but I think he wants it to be one that has more flexibility and allows him more agency. I am most excited to see him around the house (when I am home from school) and spend time with him that wasn't available when he was in gov't. I am proud that my dad served the country and look forward to his next adventure.
My dad had open heart surgery and my brother was diagnosed with MS. Mortality is coming clear!
My Grandfather dying affected the entire family. We'd constantly yearn for his quips and when he died he left a huge hole.
we welcomed a cat and dog into our family, made my family more closer and happier
We made Aliyah or as it says in Hebrew - Aliynu - we went up - to Jerusalem, of course. It has been a very hard year but a beautiful year. Miss so many people and places like Adas Israel and my beautiful Washington, DC. Making new friends. Love having most of my immediate family here but miss Daniella, Negev, Stav and Liav daily. Do appreciate and treasure the time they were with us for a month in the beginning of the summer. Choices made, results are a strange mixture of joy and sadness but mostly joy.
I came out to my parents as transgender. I'm all good and we've continued just fine as a family unit, but it shook some things up. Sometimes I regret having done that, cause maybe it would have been easier to just keep it a secret until I'm 18 and deal with it all on my own, and it certainly would have been easier to not have to hear my parents go on and on about how I'm faking it and trip over my pronouns and name. Avoiding that would have been really nice. But overall they've been supportive (mostly), they're helping me move forward with finding a gender-specific therapist, and in the 11 months I've been out to them, usage of my name and my proper pronouns have become much more frequent. There's a lot more to deal with, and there's a lot more conversations I'm going to have to have with my family, but we're moving forward and I feel that I'm in a supportive environment.
I asked the love of my life to marry me this year! I am so excited that she said yes and we are planning to spend the rest of our lives together. I'm nervous about certain aspects of the future, but overall I trust her so much and I can't wait to see what our adventures will be like. Raising a family, living abroad, learning from each other, it's going to be a wild ride!
I got married to a guy I thought I loved. I was wrong. He's a kind guy and all, but love it ain't. Also, moved to a new city to live with him. I'm still struggling to get a job, I'm broke, depressed and miserable. So yeah, this milestone really affected me. Not in a good way, though.
Grandma Rima passed away this year. It affected mom the most, because she was closest to her. It affected the rest of us through mom, because she spent Rima's last month with her in Russia with her. In the meantime, I helped take care of Mitchell, and take care of chores, etc. It is strange to know Grandma Rima is no longer with us, and to have her urn now a fixture in the dining room. I cannot truly say I am "sad" though, I was never super close. I did pray Kaddish for her (and on mom's behalf) for several Shabbat's, perhaps that helped me process much better the new reality...
Moving for my career which directly impacted my partners career. Also moving closer to where I am from and away from where my partner is from. It has both made me appreciative of my very flexible partner and more understanding of how hard long distance moves can be on a relationship.
My mother is dying. I mean, we're all dying, but my mother is now encountering physical ailments from a series of strokes that have also caused significant dementia and memory loss, and has been placed in long-term full-time care. The thought of her not being present already casts a shadow across my life. I know that we, as children, will all someday lose our parents. But I don't know what my life will be like without my mom being in it. And I'm afraid. And yet, it is inevitable. And I don't know how to reconcile those two things.
My immediate family is me. Just me. I'm a family household of one. I think that was a milestone this past month when I finally accepted that.
My parents in law visited from Colombia for Christmas and the new year. This was a nice experience to show them some of our customs. On the other hand it was a lot of work to house so many people in a small flat and I was happy when I had more time for myself again.
Jocie turned 40. It made me feel even older than I already did.
My husband got his Master's degree. Its been years of online classes, slowly. And god knows how much money, we haven't added it all up. I'm very proud of him. He has amazing drive and works hard, while also being a balanced person. Hard work doesn't scare him. And this degree can help him with a job, and pension, even though he is already 50 years old.
I went to visit my dad. I reconnected with him in so many ways. I went back "home" last November and finally had a chance to talk to my dad after 11 months. With my mother things will always be the same. Or will not be. I came back a few months later to be with him, to hang out, to just be there. How it has affected me? I am more calm. I am more focused on who matters to me. I left behind a lot of hard feelings and troubles. I am more calm because of it all.
This year I had not one, but three main negative events (constellated by other minor good or bad events). Firstly, my mum was diagnosed with a malignant cancer; secondly, my granddad passed away; and thirdly, my sister called her wedding off a week before it. Luckily, my mum is now well, but we will need to wait for at least 5 years for her to be completely recovered. And my sister is pregnant with my first nephew, which is wonderful because we are all looking forward to welcome him, but it is also sad because she was already pregnant when they called the wedding off, and she was really brave deciding to keep the baby anyway. I feel my family is being really strong at the moment, and these events have united us more than before, but I also feel it was really too much to bear for us as individuals. And I feel I should put my needs in a secondary position, even if right now I am facing a lot of important life challenges and I should need to focus more on myself.
I feel like my Mom & I are finally getting to a good place. We can have civil conversations & not keep going back to last situations of hurt or grudges. It has helped me to let go of my past hurts & offenses from my childhood. It has let me see her as simply human. Accepting that all the hurts came from her own hurts. I learned how to break the cycle of hurt & overcome the feelings of needing a wrong to be righted. I guess I stopped being a victim of what happened to me & I became a survivor.
I realised i don't want to be close to a group of people that routinely engages in abuse, self-neglect and denial. This has freed me up to start my own family/tribe.
this year has been wild for our family! being with mom as she was diagnosed with severe diabetes and helping her through that hanged a lot for me - to realize her weakness, to watch a body kinda fail, to watch and help her heal - was major for me. it requires a certain patience and the truth if taking on pain. worth it because i love her endlessly! and because OF COURSE
Lots of little things have happened this year, none that a major milestones in themselves. My Dad took semi-retirement just over a year ago and it has been lovely to spend so much time together. Also, because last summer I was I'll my Mum and I didn't really do much together, but this year we've visited museums and gone shopping. Overall I just value the time that we are all able to spend together as they get closer to retirement and I start working. Im glad that I've chosen to move back home whilst I do teacher training, because we will be able to spend more time together.
We bought a house. I am aware that we are staying here for the long term. I am VERY worried about the spiritual well being of my kids. I want to protect them from materialism and other negative effects of American society.
There have been no major milestones in the family. The one thing that has happened is how much closer Tammy and I have got. She has started work so has more of a routine and means we speak most days and see each other often. I love that I have such a close relationship with my sister, she is one of my best friends. As much as we can drive each other crazy, we make up within minute and its all forgotten. We get each other, we're very honest with each other and we like A LOT of the same stuff. I feel really lucky that we do get along so well as I know some of my friends are not close to their sisters at all.
My grandpa broke his hip, almost died, and then had to move into assisted living. So, my dad and his sister are selling the only thing left of my childhood on Long Island. I have no reason ever to return there - there is nothing left for me. Sobering thought.
My STBX and I separated. It was hard, especially sharing custody of the kids, but well worth it. I am happier, more peaceful, and I think ultimately more in love with myself than I have ever been. I also think I am much more likely to find a truer love, someone who will partner with me in this crazy journey.
I guess it would be that I was asked to be in Caitrin’s Wedding. There’s so much hurt that still lingers from Steph’s wedding (and parents divorce) that her wedding seemed to push it aside for a day. It’s a sort of new beginning for my relationship with Caitrin. How do I want to honor/celebrate it?
I moved in with my partner AND decided to convert to Judaism! Big changes and identity shifts for me that will continue to transform in the coming year(s). I'm excited and nervous at the same time. But very happy overall.
It was really great to (finally) introduce my family to Julius, and I will soon meet his. It felt WEIRD that he had not met them when I felt so close to him. They tried really hard to include him and I look forward to them hanging out more!
Hmm I would say there was a huge milestone that happened with my family this year - but we did have yet another great trekking trip through Tour de Mont Blanc. We trekked around Mont Blanc through Italy, France, and Switzerland and it was great! Super fun, we cheated a bit by skipping some legs but all in all it was a good time.
My family went to Russia for the first time and visited a place so close to our story and culture. I think this trip was a challenging one for a number of reasons, but also really brought us together. my family is in a good place this year
I became a grandmother. My daughter became a mother. My son-in-law became a father. My niece became a mother. My niece became a firefighter. My nephew graduated high school and started college -the last of the 4 kids in his family. I feel that becoming a grandmother has given new purpose to my life. My relationship with my niece has deepened. My relationship with my daughter grows more special.
Recently my cousin got married! This was a very exciting event in our family but there were some tensions around it. My aunt had planned on independently throwing my cousin a bridal shower which of course devastated my mom. Luckily my other Aunt stepped in and said that they needed to plan the shower together. This ended up being a wonderful thing. My mom and my aunt were able to make up after almost 5-6 years of fighting and being awful to each other. This has changed the dynamics of family events and our family in general. I no longer feel protective and tense when we go to family gatherings in order to protect my mom, I can simply enjoy time with my family.
Divorce. It's killing me, almost literally.
The descendants of Herbert and Ruth gathered in Boston for a weekend to celebrate the seventy-fifth birthday of their firstborn. Gathering everyone was in itself a milestone, but being together with three generations was enlightening and exciting. The sad part was that the oldest generation was actually old. I think I avoided recognizing that prior to this assembly, but it is clear that we are those people. It was sad to know that we are there and exhilarating to know that the little boys are there to carry on.
My cousin got engaged within the last year. Joining me in the afianced state really illuminated to me - and other family members - that this generation of my family is crossing a threshold beyond nominal adulthood. We are now full-fledged family-makers, ready to make more mature decisions that put communal good before our individual needs. I feel that I am a part of something greater than myself in a more profound way. I will be part of a marriage. I am a fiber in the web of my family, and my role is to support the entire structure.
I believe the most important moment with family was the day over the summer, fairly recently, when my dad disclosed that he no longer supports Trump because of his comments in Helsinki, and that, in fact, he is going to vote for the Democrat in the upcoming Michigan gubernatorial election. It felt like I recognized him again. It felt like we were able to connect again. I appreciated his telling me and although he will never know the depth of my anguish over the issue to begin with, I am breathing easier in our relationship as a result.
I started high school this year. I have become more responsible and I have gained better time management. I realized that if I don’t start now I probably never will.
I moved house, my parents moved down south, my sister got another baby! I’m now an uncle x 2 and I want to make sure I have a positive impact in their lives by writing them books and spending quality time with them.
For the first time that I can ever remember, my dad had a health scare. Turned out to be a combination of dehydration and no blood pressure medication, but I was scared. I never want to see my dad that vulnerable again.
We got a generator and it affected me because now we are protected from hurricanes.
I have two answers to this. The first was my college graduation, which I think was a big milestone for my family given that I'm essentially an only child. I graduated with a ton of honors, etc., which I think showed my dad that I'm smart and accomplished in a way that was really good, but I worry that it also perpetuated his unrealistically high expectations of me. The other "milestone" is the time I made my mom cry because she offered a suggestion to a problem I was having and I said it wouldn't work. I don't think she was crying about that incident specifically, more about how we're drifting apart and I'm relying on my friends more and more and her less and less. I feel like with both of my parents, when I'm at home I feel like I'm stuck in the same dynamics we had when I was in high school, which is stifling and bad and anxiety-provoking. I'm still not sure how to go about fixing it, but I need to make more of an effort to keep Mom in my life and reaffirm to her that she's important to me.
It's so hard to pick just one, but I think the biggest was J's birth. The whole pregnancy was so hard, and it felt like everything around us was just constantly exploding in chaos. By the time we hit the last few weeks of pregnancy, I was so desperate for everything to just slow down and let me catch my breath. And so, of course, his birth was this whirlwind crazy story, with an hour and forty-five minutes of labor, ending with him born on the bathroom floor and me staring at him in complete and utter shock. It took me a while to wrap my head around the fact that I was no longer pregnant and he was actually here. It took even longer to process his dramatic entrance into the world. I'm still reconciling the difficulties of the pregnancy, and feeling like I missed out on so much of the girls while I was so sick. I'm still not sure what the way forward is, but last night J gave me his very first laugh, and I feel like figuring out who we are as a family of 5, life might just be a little brighter this year.
See question 1 (and 2). Milestones: My 50th birthday and 25th wedding anniversary were, and continue to be, such positives. I am very contented, and so hitting these makes me sure there will be many more milestones to hit.
We had two major graduations, and two major transitions amongst the four children. The oldest graduated college and has begun her life as a working member of society, and living with three friends in an 'adult apartment'. The second took incredible risk during an impromptu college gap year and was rewarded with transferring into the school program of her dreams. The third has just launched to college, where he is excelling and embracing a new challenge. The fourth completed a 50 day canoe trip at camp, and is now in sophomore year of high school and exhibits talents, maturity beyond her young age. I am humbled that my children have thrived in a time when life is complicated, their parents continue to 'do the work', and they have accepted the challenge of 'just doing it' in the face of uncertainty and change.
I've been able to spend a lot more time with my mother this year than in previous years. She has been diagnosed with Parkinson's and it was one of the reasons I relocated back home. It's been good getting to know her as an adult versus knowing her as a child. I can understand her better and have more compassion for her and her life experiences. We are developing a true friendship. Additionally, my father (actually/finally) apologized in person to me. I was struggling with a decision and went to him to talk it out. He was the person to talk with because Mom can be a bit dreamy. Dad is pretty realistic and he helped me with my decision. It became a truly emotional moment and I began crying which made him cry and he apologized for "being such a shit." It was a big moment and I finally forgave him. We're still not close, but I know that was a huge step for me personally. It was big already that I went to him for advice.
My partner turned 40 this year and I wasn't there to celebrate that with him. It made me sad, feel guilty for taking time for myself; it made me miss him, and it made me want to go home to him. I am glad I completed the trip as I did but I am still said he didn't get the 40th birthday celebration he deserved.
REalizing that my parents are a cancer in my life that must be removed permanently or set far away at the very least. The havoc this creates within me is destroying me; I try, as anyone does, to give second chances and believe in change. Some minds and hearts cannot be altered. My heart-mind can, it must evolve beyond this.
My dad retired! My husband got a new job! My mom was sick with pneumonia for 3 months! My sister moved to England for a year! And was in a Hurricane in Houston! I might have to move. It's been a crazy year. I don't know how it's effected me. I think I'm crankier than usual. I don't like change.
My parents are slowly but surely downsizing their home with plans to move out in the next few years. While this isn't the home I was born into, I did live there for a time, and it has been my parents' home for over 20 years now. I can't imagine what it must be like for them to prepare the house for sale and to discard many of their belongings so that they can fit into a much smaller space. This has also forced me to go through memories that I had left in my old bedroom prior to moving away. Bringing laughter, tears, and thoughtful considerations of past lessons learned. I'm excited for my parents on their next journey in life, but also trying to put myself in their shoes to be able to provide the emotional support they may need.
My daughter just turned 7. That may not seem particularly major, but I think about what I had gone through by the time I turned 7, parents divorced and living across the country from each other with me flying back and forth. My daughter knows nothing of these concerns, has no experience of this level of trauma, and I'm so grateful for that. If I am able to provide nothing more than a safe and stable home full of love for my wife and children, I'll feel as if I've accomplished a great deal more than my parents could have. It makes me sad for what I missed out on as a child.
Putting our house on the market has been a big milestone for my husband and I. It hasn't sold yet, but it is the first step we needed to take to step into the life we actually want. to be able to live tiny, simply and from the land.
My parents moved to Redmond, WA part time. To be honest, it doesn't seem to have made a huge difference. They are still around in Louisville and the other place is nice. My mom does say now that she fully understands what it's like to move abroad, which is irritating. She doesn't understand that! Seattle is not a place one has to get a visa for, and people speak English there. It's interesting to watch because I thought everything would be really different, but it isn't.
Having young grand boys provides a wealth of milestones. Now, Lu is in First Grade and Thad in pre-K, so on Fridays we pick up one, then the other from school. We've always pushed them toward learning to swim, but this year's Hawaii trip was a leap forward in their confidence in the water. It's also kind of mind-blowing that I had the lead in TWO consecutive musicals! My Dad's passing is also an obvious milestone. Finally, Karen's career momentum is very exciting, including a solo museum show! The effect of all these on me is one of awe & gratitude, especially the growth of the boys & Karen's career!
Our youngest child starting kindergarten. This has made me realize my age and that there is no going back... time left is getting shorter and there will be less opportunities to enjoy life, nature and freedom.
My savta moving to Atlanta and leaving the community in Miami she lived in for 50+ years (plus two family weddings) was a big transition for our family. It some ways it's felt like it's brought closure to my sabba passing away a few years ago, and allows me to explore/deepen my relationship with her more in the coming year.
My youngest sister got engaged, but to be honest, it hasn't affected me at all. I'm not at home enough to feel the change in dynamics. I do really like her fiance, though. He's good for her.
My older brother began seeing a very nice woman who I believe has helped him open up to me a bit. Up until earlier this year, he and I had always had a rather tumultuous relationship, and we were either fighting, or he was totally ignoring me. In the past 6 months, they moved in together, and he and I, for the first time in many years, have been able to have pleasant conversations. He even invited my husband and I over for brunch at their apartment - this never would have happened before. I am glad that he has found someone who seems to make him happy. I also discovered that my younger brother, who lives several hours away with his girlfriend, has been harboring some resentment towards me over the past couple of years. Essentially, I made a comment about his girlfriend to my mother that was supposed to be a joke, albeit not a very funny one, and he overheard me say it. I regret that comment, and the impact it has had on my relationship with both my brother and with his girlfriend. Unfortunately, I think she feels uncomfortable around our family, and I don't know how to correct it.
My brother and sister in law had a baby. It's mind blowing that my "little" brother is a Dad, but I have seen his Dad skills in action and am so proud of him.
My dad passed away in December. It continues to be devastating and challenging. I'm still not at peace with him being gone and I'm wondering when I will be. There are so many things left unsaid and so much to reconcile without him here. I need to find the space to dive into my feelings about it but things keep getting in the way.
The loss of my mom's mom, which in a strange coincidence happened on the same day two years after the loss of the dad's mom. Everything about this grandmother's death was different, though. My paternal grandmother was an example for us all. She remained happy and positive and then in what many say is the best way to go, went out to her favorite restaurant, ate joyously, and then had a stroke that night and was gone in less than 48 hours. My maternal grandmother just sort of gave up. Her heath deteriorated and she lost control of basic functions. She was proud and grew up poor. She had worked to build a good life for her family and did ever want help, so when she needed it, it was too hard to ask for or accept.
Baby born, father in law getting brain cancer right after had the baby and all that extra stress. The dichotomy between a newborn and all that joy, with the end of life decisions and sadness. It really cast a pallor over our summer.
A major milestone in the family was losing our sweet pup Domino. After almost 17 years, we had to put him down when he stopped being able to walk. He seemed ready. It was still devastating. He was my first puppy-to-senior dog and we all knew he was a member of our family. I'll always cherish memories of his batman ears, his sensitivity, his innate ability to comfort you with his presence (dogs are so great). I love him so much, and miss him so much already. RIP Domino.
The joining of families is an ongoing process. I don't feel that I am doing a bad job so far, but I know that there are ways that we can both do better. I want to make sure this year that I give attention to my husband's family so that they feel more included and know that they are just as important to us as my own family.
Sue’s almost 95 year old mother died August 23. Still a challenge to think about the concept that I saw you Saturday, nodding your head and talking to the group, and then on Thursday poof you’re gone...total dematerializan.
The milestone for last year was my parents finally separating to put an end to the constant bickering the rest of us have endured for years. But now they are in this yoyo thing where they keep separating and rejoining about every other week. I am hoping that this year they can both move into a more stable relationship with each other. I never want to be in a relationship like that.
My sibling went through some pretty big life changes: they came out as agender, and bought a house. Our parents aren't very good about using the right pronouns yet, and I need to get better about correcting them - it's frustrating. I'm proud of my sibling for moving in the direction they want in life, and figuring out who they are.
Our son's graduation from 8th grade. Proud of his accomplishment and overcoming anxiety. Proud of his maturity and taking school more seriously.
Val's mother Phyllis died on Dec 19 of 2017. There were other major milestones - her brother Keith's cancer diagnosis and treatment; the birth of our grand niece Minerva - but Phyllis passing from this world was the biggest, I think. It impacted me with relief that the pain of the constant reminder of her mother's lingering decline and nearly vegetative state was finally over, allowing real grief at her loss to emerge. We could finally look back and mourn the woman who was gone years and years ago and let go of dealing with the awful reality of where she had ended up. Sadness and relief, both at once, impossible to separate. And, coming to the place of being in the oldest generation for both of us - no parents left - feels like a new and important place of elder-hood to explore.
I finally got Dad to talk to an estate lawyer about setting up a trust so that I don't lose the house after he passes and my sister and I aren't swamped with taxes. the final appt. is next week and will be set in stone so to speak. This has given me a slight measure of feelings of security.
My oldest child started college on time with her peers. Proud and relieved. A couple of years ago I was worried she wouldn't even graduate high school.
My father fell and was unable to go on his (probably last) trip to Paris, At 87 this is really the beginning of the downturn. Both of my parents are aging quickly, and I am starting to feel the weight of what it will be like when they are no longer alive
My son moved away. He'd been living with roommates nearby so my daily life hasn't changed much, but knowing that he's so far away has me missing him more than I did when I wasn't seeing him but knew he was close.
My youngest graduated from preschool this year and has just started Kindergarten. Achieving this milestone was very different from when my oldest graduated. I think this is because it was during my oldest son's tenure at preschool that so much in our lives changed (left my abusive ex-husband, went through a horrible custody dispute accompanied by acts of violence by him, the subsequent protective orders, etc.). When my oldest graduated preschool, it was as if we, as a family, were graduating from that chapter of our lives. This year, it felt like we were any other family. I guess that's a graduation in and of itself.
My brother got married. It makes me really happy that he is able to find love with a truly good woman who loves him and stands by him. And he was able to do this despite the family we come from and what we went through as children. I did - for a second - feel like a failure because I'm older than he is and still unmarried. But I also know we each have our own path and his marital status bears no reflection on me. It helps me to remain focussed on being supportive and of service to him and my sister in law.
My major milestone was buying a house in 2018. I feel grateful and relieved that I was able to buy a house this year.
The arrival of William and Sam’s surgery. I’ve had to grow up a bit by working harder at home to take care of them which has been good for me.
Well, the major milestone in my family was the birth of my great granddaughter. Jane was born in October and has brought such joy. And surprise. And delight. And she knows it. Who IS she. I know that she is definitely an old soul. A friend, also well versed in Numerology, did Jane's numbers and remarked, "Well, she is certainly a force to be reckoned with!" And she is. Good natured and smart, she doesn't care to spend much time sleeping. She began walking at ten months, says a few words and knows how to "work the room" even among strangers. She has a mouthful of teeth and has chosen avocados as her favorite food. She loves books, but not to chew on. She looks intently at the pictures, selecting dogs and puppies over everything else. We are all besotted.
I've been married for 15 years now and lived in the same apartment for over 10 years. I'm happy about the marriage milestone, but I'm getting very antsy to move. While our daughter is still in high school we will likely stay put until she graduates. She's doing well in school and continues to gain confidence, making a few new friends, and she enjoyed traveling with us to England!
My oldest daughter started high school. She is on the brink of adulthood, and every time I think I've figured out parenting, I realize I still need to learn and grow. I want to support her and help her make good choices. But my urge is to control her, protect her and push her in the directions I think are best. I won't know in the moment if I'm helping to prepare her for adulthood. I hope I am. I try to step back, I try to let consequences come naturally. In 4 years, she may not be living here the majority of the time. A lot of reflection on how well I'm preparing my kids for adulthood.
Grandma and Grandpa are aging. Grandma especially is losing her awareness of the present moment and her short term memory can at times be quite bad. Grandpa is not too far behind. They are both stubbornly refusing to make changes which will improve their quality of life as well. Worse yet, I am finding it very difficult simply to reach out to them and check up. It pains me to think about it too much, I don't feel like a good grandson and I love them both, but I don't want to experience their decline. I guess that's it? I keep telling myself just to call them and then I don't. I will. Deeper still I am now seeing my mother's health decline - she seems to be sick all the time and her bad knee prevents her from being super mobile, and her vertigo is keeping her ground bound. I don't want her to get worse :/
My sister got engaged??? To a guy none of us had met?? Like a month after her divorce to her ex husband was finalised??? And then got pregnant???? When still none of us had met him?? My family has always been wild but this year has been one of the wildest by far. My sister went from showing me her disgusting sexts with some random guy from J Swipe to sending me a picture of an engagement ring out of nowhere. And then at our Chanukah lunch D and I worked out A was pregnant before she'd told anyone and L freaked out because she was sure A couldn't handle another baby. And then turned out she actually WAS pregnant. And now I have a month old niece back in Australia who I still haven't met but will be soon. Last year I said there haven't been any milestones in my family and that it'd been quite calm.....I guess HaShem thought we needed some calm before the storm. While I was visiting Hungary my mom and G called to tell me my cat was dying. I was a complete mess sobbing on the bus and got my friend and I lost because I wasn't paying attention from crying so hard. She was my best friend in the entire world and my baby and I feel so sad knowing she's gone and I haven't even been home. When I get home I think the loss of her will effect me even more. Mom and G are getting married in March 2019 - after all their ups and downs I'm excited for stability and to have a family of 3 again, even though I miss the third person being dad.
My mom got married and changed her last name which was something I definitely never would have happened in my lifetime. She has never wanted to marry again (my parents got divorced when I was 11 years old) and she was dating her boyfriend for less than a year when they decided to get married. This was a huge shock for me and I attended the wedding ceremony in May to support her. I have only met her husband three times. I feel like my mom is really different. She didn't change her name when she married my dad but changed it when she was over 50 years old. I don't think I'll ever understand what made her want to get married to someone and buy a house together after knowing him for such a short period of time.
I had answered this with the story about my half-brother Kevin dying, but now I realize that I had written about this last year. This year, my half-sister Jenny let me know (via Facebook, of course) that she'd been in a bad car accident and would be a rehab facility until she could walk again, presumably in a few months' time. I hope she recovers fast and well, but this impacts me not at all. Which is rather sad, but she's also one of my family members with whom I can't discuss politics and whom I thought i had unfriended on FB, but maybe not, since she managed to message me there.
My son started sleeping. In pretty much all of January he would only sleep in 40 minute increments. My wife and I were getting so little sleep that it was difficult to function or enjoy anything. But, all of a sudden he started to sleep well. I have a new appreciation for sleep and the ability to get a good night's rest.
We made the decision to move my Dad to memory care (he is moving soon). This milestone is not the sort one wants to reach. Like most things with Dad's diagnosis, this made me very sad. I'm not in denial about where he is; I just prefer to not think about it too much. When changes happen I can't not think about it and that just plain sucks.
I'm not really sure if we had any big milestones. I didn't see my family much this year. We talked often enough, but they're not really so much a part of my life, although maybe the distance we have helps our relationship in a way.
My grandma had a stroke in March 2018. It makes me realize that our time with her is limited. Also I feel like I'm realizing my dad's age and health. Everything is fleeting, nothing is guaranteed. It makes me feel a twinge of guilt when I don't do everything in my power to spend time with them. I'm not sure what I could be doing to be there more, or what plans we need to be making to make their passing easier. I know it seems morbid to think about death, but I'd rather be prepared.
My son turned two. It came with feeling like we could let out a breath of relief. It was a turning point. Language spilled out of him. We began to really see the incredible thoughts and ideas that lived inside his head. We began to excel in our parenting in different ways. We became challenged in new ways. We have all grown an immense amount since him turning two, even if it doesn't always look like what we'd expected.
The major milestone is that my father had to be placed in a nursing home after a violent episode at home with my mother. He is quickly deteriorating, and this has put a great strain on my family, particularly Stacy and Scott who have been dealing with the legal ramifications. As a result, my mother has basically been living with my grandparents and our large childhood home has been empty. Mom finally decided to put the house on the market, so soon the place I spent my entire childhood and teenage years will be gone. This doesn’t bother me as much as I thought, as it stopped feeling like “my home” many years ago. Mainly the situation with my dad is upsetting, but relative to some of my siblings I think I have handled it very well. I remain more stoic than others, but I do try to deal with my emotions by talking it out with my therapist. Mostly I feel resigned because there isn’t much I can do about it.
Mom's Alzheimer's continuing to decline. This has been hard and sad. I feel sad a lot of the time. I miss my mom a lot and this year in particular is one where I could have used her support. She would have been so encouraging and really sat down and helped explain how to start a business to me. It sucks. I feel so sad for my dad and my sister is struggling as well. We all are ready for it to be over and that feels guilty.
I have decided to live a cleaner lifestyle by only eating a plant base diet. I feel better already, but I have not been able to give up cheese as of yet. It's a slow process.
My 5 year old started kindergarten this year! I'm so proud of him for doing so well!
I began having health issues for the first time at 73, after rocketing through the Medicare Supplement underwriting as I had never even been in a hospital except to visit people. Now I had an ER and admission with a kidney recovery after a nasty intestinal virus, and looks like I will have a heart procedure to alleviate a tachycardia problem. I know I am now immortal but these issues bring that full force. I must, as now while I write, contemplate what to do with my days and what they should mean.
Our son, David, got married to Maxine! I have never seen him so happy as he was that day and at least for a week afterward. Every photo has him beaming. And I love Maxine and I am sure that she is good for him. I just feel so pleased and proud. I am beaming in the photos too, except the one where it looks like I'm going to cry (but I don't). And my parents came too!
Q3 Think about a major milestone that happened with your family this past year. How has this affected you? A We disconnected from a lot of my father's family this year. It was sad to lose more family. We were not particularly close before but still sad. My sister's illness has gotten much more dibilitating it's hard to watch and I am not sure how to help or what to do. My parents are stressed, understandably. Not sure I can handle it either. A family member we adopted, is losing the battle to cancer, she is on pallative care now. That's tough as well.
Zak moved to Southern California and that changes the amount of times he will participate in family gatherings. He came up to Sebtown with Mikka and didn't even stop by to say hi to me or his grammy. The effect on me is not so great really. Emotionally, my feelings were hurt that he didn't stop to say hi, or tell me he was moving away. Then, my thoughts go to appreciation of what a successful launch he got... so the trajectory has not brought him back yet. Life could be worse. At least my daughter stopped by to say hi when she arrived and before she left. Jared came over twice and shared some plans for the coming year. The affect is a feeling that I'm a little more alone now. No children in the bay area anymore.
Lainie moved in with Austin, Tyler and Ben. I was worried they weren't going to get along - and they didn't. It was hard working with Austin, because she quit talking to me about her issues with Lainie. It was hard listening to Lainie, because I heard where she was coming from, but I worked with Austin, so I had to keep things separate. It was really hard to keep my opinions to myself and to not have everyone mad at me. I could totally see both sides of the issue. I could see how things would get blown out of proportion, but I felt knotted up on a regular basis and it was hard.
We took a family trip together and it went very well. I am grateful for the positive quality time I spend with them and the trip was life affirming.
Same as question #1 I think in terms of eye-opening experiences with family members who have not been willing to make peace for themselves or with others. It's been very difficult. On another side, I have personally focused on my own "why" for losing weight, when realizing that I CAN control THAT to a great extent and I CANNOT control relationships, marriages and the hope for having grandchildren. I combined those two, by committing to be the healthiest version of myself that I can possibly be, so that if/when I am given the opportunity to be a grandmother, I will be healthy and able to fully embrace all that I look forward to giving and being to my next gen.
The one-year anniversary of Robert's death knocked me flat on my back with grief for days and days on end. I have never felt such deep sorrow, pain, and unrelenting waves of sick grief. I wanted to cry (I did cry) and to lay in bed and not talk to anyone or deal with anything. I did some of that and wish I had done more. Suicide is a terrible thing - people call it a selfish decision but I don't agree with that. It's surprising what you don't know about people though. His death came as a complete shock to me, but I found out that he had been suicidal previously. It cast him in a totally different light that, while not surprising considering the totality of his mental illness, still caught me off guard. The whole thing caught me off guard, and some days it still does. Will two years feel like one?
Me and my siblings all aged a bit, and it seems real now that we are all 40 year olds (more or less) ... mom's passing is a passing of the torch ... we are now the older generation ... and we work to support the next. I am not sure if this will feel this way all year, but something immature in me seems to be dying ... or passing I should say.
My daughter started reading. Looking at the world through her new-reader eyes is amazing. She notices and reads and asks about road signs, flyers, things in stores, and it means we have many more conversations about every day things. I'm bursting with pride about her new abilities, and I'm also bursting with fear about all the things she can and will discover now that the world is opening up for her.
I moved into the Pfahl family cottage. It had been empty for 20 years, I arrived in the middle of a winter storm and I’ve never been happier. I finally found a home.
Our only child has semi moved out and has taken a position as a live in nanny. We have made the decision that Lord willing, we will adopt. For years we have struggled with secondary infertility. Not sure what God’s plans are, but praying that He will grant success and that this is in line with His will/plan for our family.
This past year I came out as bisexual! I was already out from the previous year to my sister, parents, and close friends, but this year I came out to my extended family and started to be open with everyone about who I am dating. I also came out at work, and in general I am choosing to out myself in more and more situations. I also finally had a heart-to-heart with my mother about my sexuality, as she had not taken the news so well the previous year. This talk improved our relationship and opened the door to addressing other long-standing issues between us. I am happy and proud to be who I am!
Tirando a mudança, acho que foi a embolia pulmonar (as, na verdade) que minha mãe teve... Eu queria muito que ela estivesse bem. Eu sei que ela está melhorando, mas por que com ela? Eu não entendo e sei que nunca vou, mas ela está melhorando e é isso que importa, não é? :)
In 5778, we were blessed with—count them—three graduations. For all three brothers, transition was an essential theme of the year. It feels good having others to share the bittersweet experience that is a graduation. I feel lucky for that, and even luckier when I remember what fortune we all have to have made it to our respective places with good health and good grades, and for Alex and me, good jobs. I've worked hard on stopping often to be thankful for that and thankful for those who make it possible. Notching a milestone such as this reminds me of the good fortune I've had, the possibility of the future ahead of me, and of course, the fragility underlying all of it. I do not want to feel scared or to dwell, even though I certainly do sometimes. Instead, I want to express more often the deep feelings of love and gratitude that I have toward all those who matter so much to me. I'm trying to say "thanks" and "I love you" more.
My niece started second grade. For the first time in many years, I started thinking about moving back to the west coast to be closer to them. I want to be there for my mother as she ages, and I want to see my niece grow up. I haven't been able to get back there in about 9 months now, and I'm finding that I'm really missing them more.
Little lydia was born this year!! <3 It's had an effect on me now that Corinne is a little more stretched - getting around and doing things is not as easy to be flexible. Corinne is tired with new baby sleep patterns plus toddler management. It's amazing that this little person exists now! I suppose I ought to go and spend some more time with them.
This is a hard one for me to talk about. My mom and stepdad were almost evicted from their home. The worst part about this event is that it feels cyclical. It is very reminiscent of my childhood, when my father walked out on us and decided to take our home from us all at once. Needless to say, my mother fell into a very deep depression. She still doesn't really acknowledge how she feels. For me, being almost 400 miles away and with a life of my own, I couldn't really process the situation. The entire situation has created a rift between me and my stepdad. He has yet to step up and take ownership of the situation. And I refuse to accept his response to the situation. I really hoped he would have the courage to face me. And not even the courage, but the respect. It has also caused a major strain between him and my mother. I don't think she can look at him the same. This major milestone of sorts leaves a lot of questions to be answered. It leaves a lot of uncertainties. And I am still not sure how it will play out.
My husband and I will celebrate the completion of 17 years of marriage this October 2018. We have a good life together and I’m excited about the future.
This year I rescued a dog I named Bailey and introduced her to our family. Everyone came to love her and appreciate her for the affectionate dog she is whether or not they could stand each other.
My grandma moved into assisted living and then memory care. My mom is very emotionally affected, and I don’t know how to support her.
We had to put our first dog down, Smore. She was so old and lived such a good life. I sensed about a year ago that her time was ending soon, it hurt me so much to watch her in pain. Her cataracts made it challenging to move around, she lost so much weight and fur, it killed me to see her lose her life. I am sad I watched her suffer for so long, but I am so grateful my family agreed it was time once we discovered her kidneys were failing her. They all are learning to heal and I am grateful we still have Luci and Johnny for comfort.
My first grandchild's first birthday. She lives in MD and for the first time I'm realizing just what it is to be a grandma, and how much I just want to be closer to her in every way.
Only thing I can think of is the fact that Dad and I fight more. Really all of us end up in fights with Dad. It's tough on the family over all. :(
I think Max moving to NYC majorly affected me. I thought he and I would both be in California at the same time...yet we were ships passing in the night. Now, he is close to home, has a girlfriend, and is living it up. I miss home a lot, and think about this more and more each day, and what the future holds.
We commemorated one year since my mom's death. I spent part of the afternoon with D and P geocaching and wrote my mom's name in every find. I saw C and E later in the day, but I haven't felt as close to them recently. I fear that I'm losing my sister a bit. I am also wondering when my dad might get inspired to travel up to see me. I'm afraid that he's just waiting to die.
This past year was a lot of firsts - mostly with my dad's passing the year before. It was a first of birthdays without my dad. It was a first anniversary of my dad's passing in and of itself. These were difficult firsts. My sister and I made a traditional sisters day on the Gregorian Calendar anniversary of my dad's death to meet up with one another and spend the day together. This meant a lot to me, and to her too I believe. This is a positive that we've made in this year of difficult firsts.
The birth of my granddaughter was the biggest milestone of the year. It has impacted me in how I see my daughter and son in law. They are now parents, and they are now on the way to figuring out how to navigate the joys and challenges of being parents. My role is not to raise my granddaughter. Rather it is to build a close relationship with her, and to support Rachel and Felipe as they raise Olivia. An example of this is funding Olivia’s college education. My goal is to help fund the education, but not give so much money that Rachel and Felipe don’t have the opportunity to help pay for their child’s education.
my parents celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary. they have set an example for how to build a partnership and a family. I love the way i was raised and the values that have been instilled in me. But i also see the not so redeeming qualities I have inherited from them, such as being short-tempered (like dad), and putting off tasks (like mom). Seeing how they have made it to 30 years together has shown me that it is possible to find a life partner, and I want that for myseld.
Both my children are now in school. It seems to be going well and I hope that maintaing the school run and pick up routines will give them some stability when the separation procedure starts in earnest.
This past year has been quiet with no big stand out events like a bat mitzvah or graduation that forces one to pause and take stalk. But watching the slow steady growth of my family is equally as exciting. Taking time to enjoy the moment we are in before it passes us by with another big milestone is important and takes a special kind of commitment. Days tick by so fast and are rushed with the everyday tasks that come with raising a busy family so making a conscious effort to slow down and enjoy this phase is important. As my middle daughter settles into high school as a freshman and my oldest begins her senior year it is not lost on me that time in this phase of life is slipping away. We are starting to shift to a family preparing for the emancipation of our children. With that, of course, comes the bittersweetness of the season. I'm fighting the panic that occurs whenever we celebrate even minor things, realizing that it'll be the last as a full family. The last family vacation, the last holiday, the last fall where we are all together before my oldest goes off and begins building a life all her own. I can't wait to watch what she does and yet I'm unsure of what my role in the world will be without her at home. Bittersweetness.
The passing of my father seems to be the most overshadowing event for the year since it is so major and also just happend a few days ago. That aside, having Elan's Bar Mitzvah was a major milestone to see him grow into an "almost adult".
A few weeks ago, I started a new full-time job. I spent so long worrying about how I would work full-time and keep up with all my responsibilities at home, that the other emotions surrounding leaving my children every day caught me off guard. I find myself missing my girls so much, but at the same time, I appreciate our time together more than ever. I believe in the work I do, and I know that I'm a better parent and member of society when I do the work that I do. But our family is still transitioning to this new reality, and we're all adjusting. Lucia started waking up in the middle of the night, wanting to comfort nurse and snuggle, and Isabella cries most days at drop off. Both things break my heart, but I am working on releasing the guilt.
Receiving the PL grant made an impact on my whole family in ways that may have a profound impact so long as I act upon the confidence that I tapped creating the process. I need to remember to remember how it felt to be joyful, confident, compassionate and purposeful...
I haven't been close enough to my family to go through milestones with them. It hurts me to type that.
My cousins are starting to have kids now. Greg and Joe both got married in the last year and each is having their first kid. It great to see our extended family expanding, but it also makes me a little jealous that it didn't work out for me.
My mother was forced to put my brother in a very compromising position. It made me feel bad for both of them. It made me feel guilty for not getting involved. It has made it harder for me to talk about my family, especially my brother. It has made me feel unhelpful and selfish.
We had a second son, and it's been totally overwhelming but also wonderful. Our toddler is a total handful, so I consider us very lucky that the baby is ridiculously sweet and calm. Nights are often hard, but having learned from the first, we sleep-trained early, so we at least have a routine which makes things much easier. I do feel like I'm barely staying afloat most days, but I'm also enjoying (most) every moment.
My cousin and her husband finally got pregnant after trying for 10+ years - and they now have a healthy baby boy! This has brought us closer, I went and visited them, and it was so great to see them so happy, and to meet their little angel.
My brother graduated college this year. I attended his graduation and felt very proud. He's since moved across the country for his first job, teaching, and I know it's not going to be easy but I also really believe in him and the person he is becoming. This experience will stay with him forever, I think. Meanwhile, my parents are now really alone in MA. I worry about how happy they are sometimes.
I married my partner 11 months ago, and then we moved to a new city 4 months later. Arriving to a new place as a married couple has been strange. I still don't think of myself as a "wife" but feel as if I'm taken more seriously in my extended family and community because of this status. I still don't know what to make of it. But I have no doubts about my decision to spend my life with my favorite person.
My grandmother's death, and the death of my girlfriend's aunt. Technically the deaths were in two separate families, but I feel apart of my girlfriend's as much as mine. My grandmother's death affected my family in one way; we came together and sought solace in each other. My girlfriend's aunt's death exposed issues and created schisms within that family. Both were painful, but in different ways- and affected me by showing me the kind of family relationship I want to have, and what kind of relationship I don't. Not to say my family is perfect and that our relationships are all kittens and gum drops- far from it, and in fact the struggles my family members have had weigh especially on me this year as my sister struggles with her mental health and her relationship with my dad again, and my mother's struggles with managing the two and worrying about her children, and my parents are undeniably getting older- it makes me feel far more grown up far quicker than I wanted to be.
We bought a third boat this past year. We didn't seek it out, but it was a good deal and hard to pass up. Now we're terribly strapped for cash. We had this idea that we'd be able to turn that boat into a rental. Rent it to sailors for weekends on the Bay. To Airbnb-ers for an interesting place to spend the night. We thought we'd turn it into a source of income. That hasn't worked out. The few times we did rent it, people said how great it was. But getting the business has been hard. We haven't made enough to even cover the slip fees, much less make it revenue neutral. And short contracts in our other work has created a bit of a crisis for us. I'm afraid we may have to sell it in the coming year, or risk falling too far into debt. We had such grand plans.
My wife officially retired. She has not worked in five years, but this summer we acknowledged the inevitable and she began taking her social security. By year's end, she will start drawing it, and this will make us a little more financially secure for now, but it also points out how insecure our long term financial future is.
Other than my father-in-law passing away which I already talked about on day one, it would probably have to be my wife having too much asked of her with little positive feedback at her job. A year ago, she was bored enough that she was able to do physics homework at her desk some of the time. Now, she has dropped all classes and barely has time to eat lunch. Plus, for the first time ever, she got an average rating from her superiors meaning that her bonus was much lower than she expected. And this is after putting in 10-12 hour days and going in on the weekends. So, she and don't really have time to connect in the evenings any more, since she is so exhausted Mon-Fri. On the weekends, I'm usually working at least 6-8 hours, so planning any outings is also rare. Our lives are very unbalanced these days.
The exponential decline of my grandmother's cognition—a decline that's about to be marked by another move (she just moved to her current place 2 or 3 years ago)—has, on the one hand, compelled me to reflect that much more on all we have and haven't done; on the other hand, when I do come back around to reflecting, I feel the distance between between her and me as significant periods of time go by before I speak with or see her much less think of her—something I hope to change in the coming year.
I went back to school. It has taken time away from things that I could just do and forces me to be more organized in a family that is not organized at all. I am not sure how to make all the pieces fit without loosing out or dropping out of school. Persistence and trail and error will be what I need use as my primary tools to get where I want to be. Others can not get me to where I want to be and I can not just give up.
I am now living longer than my mother. I realize how short her life was at age 52, 7 months and 22 days. I'm grateful, expecting a lot longer and embracing my own wisdom, creativity, vision and goals.
My first grandchild arrived and my heart was totally his. Watching him grow and go from one milestone to the next fills me with joy.
Getting my settlement from a car accident almost 7 years ago. I never thought the day would come. What a relief even though it's not much money. At last I can put it all behind me - clear out the records and be done with that dark cloud that loomed over our heads. My Tx's don't feel so imposing and I don't feel I need to justify my actions toward my healthcare now. Feels great!
The major milestone has definitely been 2 incomes, and Husband liking and doing well at his job, even as he becomes the primary parent responding to kids' needs at school &tc. This has been an amazing sense of relief and appreciation and gratitude and positivity to our family, as we can spend a bit on some deferred maintenance, and also consider other options like vacation and activities. It is a very, very, very positive thing to experience this milestone after so long.
We added to our family with the birth of the first grandchild. It has been a source of tremendous joy and amazement to watch him grow.
There have been many events within my family as well as close friends over the last year. The lose of loved ones and almost the lost of my sister. Most probably would call these milestones, but I think there’s always much to learn from the natural tragedies of life. It’s a constant reminder to me of lives transient nature. It makes me think a bit deeper and work a bit harder; to be and become more of myself. It’s tough, there’s always challenges along the way, but we can be better at working with these challenges and turning them into something that pushes us forward into places we wouldn’t have. Personally these events haven’t had huge affects on me. I don’t think it’s because I’m senseless or selfish, but because I’ve faced and continue to face the challenges in front of me, which have taught me much about tragedy and change.
Two family members ended relationships. One of my sisters got her heart broken by her partner; one of my cousins was dumped by his fiancee who called off the wedding and then took off with someone she met while working out. Facebook pictures reveal all kinds of things. I feel badly because they both seemed so happy in their relationships and found themselves out in the cold so suddenly. Since I am not married or attached I don't know how I can comfort my sister.
The first milestone that comes to mind is becoming a family of two full-time working parents. Yes, this comes with challenges- particularly time management. However, I cannot begin to describe the relief of having two full-time incomes and benefit providers in our family. I feel less pressure in so many ways. I never realized how much this was impacting my marriage and my own career path. I feel more confident to take risks.
My nephew being born...and him turning one. It was amazing.
Whew. Maybe that Chris and I are well on our way to being divorced? Maybe that I feel freer more than I have in a long time (Chris + Michael + JOB)? Maybe Anshe Mitzvah class? I don't know. I feel lighter, even though I'm often overwhelmed with responsibilities -- doesn't matter, I'm lighter. Life is good this year.
I have been actively working to reestablish my relationship with my father and sister. It was slow going at first, but my efforts seem to be making a difference. I've seen them a lot more than I usually do and they return my messages and calls. I just wish they would reach out to me once in a while. It feels so one-sided.
I guess the major milestone is my mom's death. It's affected me deeply, and on many levels. Appreciation for how she loved being a mother, and valued maintaining connection, at least as long as she could. Gratitude that my husband and daughter have supported me and mourned with me throughout the year. Newly mindful of what it means to have a permanent marker somewhere on the planet that says I was here, I lived, I mattered to some people. Much more aware of what a burden it can be to loved ones to hang onto "stuff" when it's no longer useful or needed -- having to go through everything, and choose to throw away old papers, photos, etc was really painful. I am committed to not doing that to my own beloved family.
The bambina is growing - she's one year old now. We are quite tired, but not quite enough adopted to relax. Feels weird and frightening. For how long can it go on? What will happen to us and our family?
I feel like my entire view of family has shifted this year, being a newlywed. In a wider view, Kate got a new job, and the wedding brought people together that I never thought would ever see each other again. Oh, and Patrick is now Maddie! That's a big one. It does make a lot of sense, though. Then again, if she decides not to stick with it, that might make sense also, but I don't think she would come out if she wasn't sure. But now Justin and I are a family of our own, and since he's never really had a family, it's a big deal. And I love that his friends and our friends work so well together and I'm excited to make that a recurring thing. Such a strange life, to end up here. There will certainly be more strangeness and more happiness and more stress in the future, and I hope we can weather it all. Our little family.
My niece started 1st grade! As for how it's affected me, not particularly.
My parents moved. Not a far distance, just to downsize. But they were staying with friends and family between houses and it caused them a lot of stress and anxiety. It reminded me that we all have unique sources of stress and that we all benefit from close relationships. They had a lot of support and not sure where they would be without it.
We had every milestone this year. We moved. We changed jobs. We bought a house. We welcomed a new child. We lost friends. There has been so much blessing. It's overwhelming. I feel so grateful--but know that we will still only be happy if we choose to be.
It affected me by appreciating the family I have; how loving and caring everyone is. It taught me that family will always be there with you through everything.
A major milestone I had with was my family was a very spiritual moment between us during a cousin's bar mitzvah. It made me feel at peace with myself.
My mom was diagnosed with and survived Stage 2 Lymphoma this past year. She reminded me that everything in life is easier to deal with if you maintain a positive attitude and can find things that are within your ability to control in order to avoid feeling helpless.
Share family reunion as birthdays, Thanksgiving, Passover and Rosh Hashanah meals. Renew love between my wife and I.
Getting married waaas the biggest family milestone, but within that, having the various parts of mine and my husband's families meet, and have so much fun with each other was gratifying. I love that I can mix and match our families with no worries, and I look forward to blending them together more in the future.
Having better communication and not having my feelings hurt as much. It has changed my out look on life a bit on how I should treat myself and others better. I rather be up front about my feelings and live my life for myself instead of others. That has been a big mental change for me over all and created a milestone for my family.
We sold my house and now are buying a new house for our family. Zion turned one!
Obviously - I got married! Now I have a new family, or two families. It affects all of us! Gotta say I'm still not sure how it affects us exactly, but I know I feel a lot more connected, and a lot more settled. It was great to feel so much family support from my side in advance of and during the wedding. And it's nice to have a whole 'nother family now, too! On a practical level, I have a new last name... or will officially some time soon, I hope. My husband seems a lot more committed to our relationship now that we're married, so I feel even more secure. I'm so happy!
My younger brother graduated from college. This made me realize that both of my parents' children are now young professionals, aka ADULTS. I call their house "my parents' house" and I understand that now I have to put effort into maintaining our relationship.
We’re getting older. Jack learned to ride a bike and his upcoming Bar Mitzvah marks the family’s last. Ari is getting involved with BBYO and choosing his path in high school. And in the biggest change, I’m off to college. Home felt different this year. My mom was definitely the most aware and sad about my leaving and elevated my status in the house. She also raised her expectations for Ari and expressed more concern as his future looms nearer. Jack knew he was going to miss me and often pushed me towards UVA. When not in his cave, he’d want to spend time with em, but we rarely found a very mutually agreeable activity. I don’t know if Chloe noticed? I miss my beibo. It’s weird to be away from home. I feel like I’m acting out all I’ve learned throughout the years, so don’t feel all that far from home. I’m curious what the dynamic will be when I return.
Our son was able to go on Birthright, something I never thought would happen due to his special needs. Also my father celebrated his 96th birthday.
Our family’s biggest milestone was my grandmother’s 100th birthday. We celebrated four times, each bigger than the last. I found one way in particular to contribute to our celebration of her - hiring a musician for an intimate concert of Jewish songs and 60’s peace tunes. What bonding we can do with family over music!
My husband's granddaughter who I have known since she was four years old, got married and gave birth to her first child this year. We were very excited to meet our first great-granddaughter a few days ago. All my husband's family showed up to meet the baby when our granddaughter came to California with her. Now we are a four-generation family again. It was very sweet to see my husband singing to the baby and bonding with her. Even though technically I am a step-great-grandmother, I am in fact a great-grandmother as I have been intimately involved with our grandchildren for the last twenty years. This is a real joy!
Grandma died in January and it shifted something - perhaps because I am now the second oldest generation on my Mum's side of the family. I think more about how my time is limited, and I should spend it on things that make me happy.
I flew home just before Rosh Hashanah for the first time in about a year I think. It was good and difficult. I felt love and connection but also there was still the deep dysfunction that caused me to leave home in the first place... which has worsened and spread through the whole extended family. It's strange to go from having such idyllic memories of people growing up, and witnessing them use, abuse and steal. I feel both connected and alienated, it's good to be loved, but at the same time there's so much destruction and negativity I have to keep my distance. It made me realise it's going to important to me to make my own family to support me through my life. Chosen or biologically created... I want a baby, but I don't feel ready in my relationship or myself, and as I approach my mid-30s it seems time is running out for that. I don't know what to do about it.
My mom turned 70. Like all of us, my mom's aging is becoming more evident with each year; at the same time she is in incredibly good shape in all senses of the word. In some ways I am no more in touch with her mortality as a result of this milestone - it's still a very hard thing to wrap my head around. But in other ways hitting those big numbers forces you to reckon with it in a different way.
I have learned to appreciate my family more. This has changed my perspective on how they will be there for me.
My middle son had his bar mitzvah. He did great, family had a great time at the party and meals we served. How it affects me? There is a line of wanting to show him how proud we are and giving him a party/experience equal to the one we had for his older brother. I felt a lot of pressure regarding that. I saw how hard it is on my sister that she has to balance her loyalties as well - to me, to her husband and kids. We are women who try to please everyone and are often frustrated and stressed out in the process.
I have become single. It's made me realize that she was right to end our relationship. There were too many compromises on both sides and we probably would have ended in divorce. This has helped me understand what is truly important to me in a relationship. She hated dogs. I love mine.
My parents bought a house in Hawaii and Grandma Sonny moved to Denver. It has created a lot of stress financially and medically. Mom and Dad are trying to balance everything and still working full time
I'm not sure there was a significant milestone in my family in the past year. There weren't any births, deaths, graduations, major events. Maybe the question is, am I perceiving these major milestones as such? Am I forgetting and thus, showing I wasn't really effected? Was the year really that boring? If it was, is this a problem? I'm unsure.
A major milestone with my family this year has been me entering into therapy and really building my relationships individually with my mom, dad, and sister.
Devon's Bar Mitzvah was such an amazing experience from start to finish. Kehilla has done such a good job of creating a program that builds community and a process that makes the Bar Mitzvah experience truly individualized and meaningful. Early in the process, Rabbi Dev said something about how in times of transition, both joyous and sorrowful, when we do not know how to handle things, that's when we want to lean in to tradition. That really resonated with me, and so I took the opportunity of Devon's Bar Mitzvah studies as a way to navigate his transition into adolescence. The ceremony and party were wonderful (if a bit stressful and exhausting), but such a small part of what we did. What I'll remember is how we sat next to each other, both of us writing our thoughts in response to his homework prompts. I'll remember the conversations we had about our Jewish traditions. And I'll remember how the time we spent together doing all of this has taught us how to continue communicating deeply even in the midst of Devon's age-appropriate differentiation.
My mom turned 65, which meant she could get Medicare, which means a lot less stress about my parents' finances and access to doctors and meds. Now that she can rely on having the same doctors and coverage from now on, rather than piecing together a care and coverage situation that changed each year she was on the ACA exchange, I'm less anxious about her well-being.
Yeah, this is just gonna be "wow, my kids have grown up so much!" every year for a while. Tahoe is doing really well in terms of development. Asher is kind of a stubborn, defiant lunatic a lot of the time, but he's also sweet, and ALMOST potty trained, which has noted last year RUUUUUULES.
My youngest child went off to college a month ago, and it hasn't been the easiest adjustment. She appears to be thriving in her new environment, however, which helps a lot. The first week was tough on my wife in particular, and put a strain on our relationship at first. Now we are doing a lot better, and recognize that this is a new and exciting chapter in our lives.
I birthed a human. I started to nurse and raise said human. I don’t even know where to begin with how it’s changed me, but I care more about myself and my family. I’m softer. Less cynical.
My family lost a member. My younger sister passed and now the trio of sisters is a duo. My father-in-law was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it was an upheaval for all of us. He showed all of us what being positive and having a loving supportive family can bring to the worst of situations. These events have made us all stronger and closer.
Moving Dad into assisted living has been very stressful. Taking on even more of the responsibility for his daily affairs has changed my life drastically. The lack of help or even awareness of my brother has frustrated me. The thought of selling his house has saddened me. This has been a rough year.
Our cousin was weeks away from getting married only to have found out that her fiance cheated on her. This is the second cousin on my wife's side that has this happen. It has brought me closer to my wife and how much I appreciate her.
Both my grandmothers are having a bad time. And I feel guilty that I am not there, closer to them maybe helping more. Although it is really an excuse because I don't think I would have helped much anyway. I am not a very family type of person. And also it has made me think about what will happen to my parents when they're older if I am still living so far from Spain. And it something that really worries me.
I can't think of any milestones in my family. This past year has been about the same as the year before. All the big stuff happened earlier or is expected to happen next year.
I turned 50. My dad turned 80. My middle child graduated from high school and turned 18. My mother in law moved in and now we are caring for her while we have kids still at home. I like being 50. I have focused more on my health and wellbeing than in years previously and overall I am more content. I am aware of my father's growing frailties and that is hard to get my mind around. My new graduate has a job and is thinking about the future, including moving out. I think they have been sheltered and reality will be a bit of a shock.
We moved from Texas to Washington. I have a new house, school, and friends. I wish I hadn't moved though I miss my home.
My daughter started college this past year. That is a major milestone. I miss her being home. But I love that she is growing up, and I am so impressed with who she is becoming. I am proud of her. Truly. Also blessed.
The major milestone in my life - and for my family - was my move back to Iowa. I made a very quick decision to move from St. Paul to live in Grinnell, Iowa. I wanted to be closer to the College, my family, my old friends. It was a scary decision - I was moving further away from my ex and my dear friends from Superior, WI. In the end, it was the best decision I could have made. I am spending quality time with my daughter and granddaughters. My visits are different - and my visits are less special - but that's ok. I am a more active and present part of their life - and that means the world to me.
My dad changed jobs which was stressful because we did not know if we had to move.
No impact. Thinking about a major milestone that happened with my family this past year has no impact on me.
It has been really cool seeing my dad go back to college to study and start towards the end of his degree. It shows me what kind of person my dad is and I love hearing him talk about his classes. I am so proud of him.
Our family grew into a threesome this year and it opened up connections to our larger family in new ways. We feel constantly supported by our chosen family - the community that surrounds us. We are so lucky to have so many people rallying around us and loving on our little family.
David started school (PreK). We're still adjusting, but so far, so good. We'll see how it all goes the further into it he gets, with all of the events and activities that go along with that.
I reconciled with my dad. Mostly. Well...we started the process. It's not that we were ever "estranged." But we have years of resentments to work through, a relationship to build. I guess it all started when I came out to my dad on my birthday. I have no ability to tell half a story. So when my dad asked me what I was doing to celebrate my birthday—and my day would include going to the ballet with the girl I was dating—I figured, "eh, might as well come out to him now." I had nearly done it a few weeks earlier as I milled through a grocery store anyway... To me, this coming out was casual, no big deal. My mom had known for months. She even saw me through the questioning phase. My friends all knew. I was dating a girl I was head over heels for. I was queer, and it was no big deal. Except to my dad...it was. And not in the way you might think. My dad was unconditionally supportive. But in his haste to support me, my dad projected his own narrative onto my coming out. He decided that it was a BIG DEAL. He decided that it had been obvious "how very difficult" it was for me to tell him that I'm gay. He decided that this was a turning point in our relationship, an opening up. And he articulated all of this in a novel-length email, sent a few hours after our birthday/coming out call. The funny thing is, my coming out did end up being a turning point in our relationship. Though I was annoyed that my dad had created his own version of events, I was touched by his unwavering love and support. I was touched that he clearly wanted to move forward in our relationship, to heal. So, I responded to my dad's novel of an email and we set up a time to talk. For me, it was this talk—not my coming out—that marked the transition in our relationship. For the first time, ever, my dad apologized. Or rather, he gave me the apology I needed, without excuses, without self-defenses. He had never been able to give me that before. And it surprised me what a difference it made. I had known for a long time that I have a huge capacity to forgive; this is a great strength of mine. But my dad had been my blindspot. Turns out, all I needed was an apology. By in large, I forgave my dad that day. In the wake of his apology, something mended in me. Years of resentment began to lift. How does this affect me? You could say I'm relieved. It feels good to let go of that baggage I've been lugging around. But here's the thing: the problem hasn't been solved. My dad and I still need to do the work of building a relationship. And it's not easy. I don't know how to not be distant with my dad. I don't know how to trust him. I don't know how to lean on him and include him in my life. I hope that's something I can learn in the coming year.
I found my birth half-sister. I now have a loving relationship with my birth family.
If your children are a bell weather of your influence then we can not be more proud! #2 is doing very well and after one year has been choosen to be the company rep to FB. #1 continues to add success to his company and works hard. What more can you ask.
My oldest daughter graduated from high school. Everything is so different now than when I graduated from high school, so there were so many things I had to learn! FAFSA, online college applications, college visits, program information nights, what will college cost, getting her the necessary learning supports she needs for college, how to finance college and her food expenses even though she'll be living at home. There was just SO MUCH! And I'm super lucky because she only wanted to visit one school, looked at one program, and made up her mind. Trying to help her manage her anxiety made my anxiety go up. All the unknowns were super stressors. Looking back over it, I handled it all as well as I could have and we have had wonderful results. I have seen that guidance will arrive as needed, that things will work out, and that I can trust that we are all cared for. Now it's just a matter of putting that knowledge into practice and not letting stress and anxiety build up like that again. I really didn't like living in that stressed out, anxious state all year long.
My father's 75th birthday. I'm starting to realize how old he is getting, and that he won't be around forever. That really makes me realize how much I love and appreciate him. It's truly been a blessing to have such an amazing man bringing me up. I want to try and appreciate that as much as possible while I still can. I also feel like this year I've made strides in really being a calm and centered member of the family, and maturing relative to my parents, seeing eye to eye with them more and more.
I’m not sure that there was one, so I’ll just reflect on last year’s. She’s still at the same job but probably won’t be for much longer, the new owner isn’t very good and it has become very stressful for her.
There were several milestones this year. Juniper started kindergarten. This feels huge! Like we are really entering a new phase of life, the end of the little kid years and the beginning of the school age years. It is still sometimes hard for me to accept that there will be no more babies in my life. As much as I enjoy the freedom this grants, it is sad and startling that suddenly this phase that seemed to always be in my future is now definitively in my past. Also, Morgan turned 40 and to mark the occasion we bought land in the Catskills. This has been his life-long goal, but I am also very excited to begin this new adventure as a family. We haven’t even spent a night on the property yet, so it still feels a little abstract but it will be very real once we start clearing it out. It is so beautiful up there and I feel so blessed that we are financially able to have made the investment.
Our kids both just graduated from their respective schools. They're both growing into more autonomous people, who spontaneously cook dinner for all of us, take our dog for a walk, and appreciate time when we're all together in a new way. I think the kids enjoy and support each other in new ways, which is a delight and a joy to see. I'm so proud of them and love them so much.
Having a baby!!! It’s completely changed my view of myself and my family—and my whole worldview really. I feel so emotional, tender, and loving but also fiercely protective. My view of my husband, parents, friends and siblings has also changed. I see strangers—both adults and children —now much more compassionately in some ways but they also annoy me more. Everything has changed.
I left home again, though this time it was different. Whereas the last couple of times it has been with great haste and relief, this time I had a resounding feeling of gratitude and respect for the stable base my parents have given me to rebuild upon. Even visiting has become a pleasure since, rather than a chore or just checking in.
This year Mom and Dad got in a car accident the weekend they came out to Pennsylvania to hike with me on the Appalachian Trail. They were both ok, but it shook my dad up a bit and made him consider retiring sooner than he would have otherwise. He still hasn’t yet, but I hope he will soon. It forced both him - and me - to again think about my parents mortality. They won’t be around forever, and I’m an only child who will be responsible for taking care of them if they get sick and take care of the next steps when they pass. I try to make myself feel better by asking them questions to get to know them, but I still feel like I censor myself and stay away from the really juicy “essence” questions: their past dating relationships, biggest regrets, darkest times; in my mind they’re still infallible humans and I want to get to know them better for their real, Dawes selves.
Nothing. I feel sad about it.
My Mom being diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. It's changed everything, and really helped to put everything in perspective.
Mia graduated college and has been applying for jobs. Abby has started applying to college. Mia still hasn't found a job and is getting very worried. There have been a few meltdowns between her feeling like she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life and feeling inadequate about not getting interviews and offers or having a direction. It's made me think about my own career choices and journey. It's made me wonder if I'm doing the job I want to be doing. It's made me wonder if my success after college is adding to Mia's feelings of inadequacy. I've been trying to help her a lot with her cover letters and whatnot but I don't feel like I'm qualified enough to be able to say definitively what she needs to be doing right now.
I had a family reunion this year, and it was the first time that I was able to go to it in many years, because I wasn't able to go when my grandmother was alive. I'm so happy that I went and being able to see so many people from that branch of the family was so amazing and affirming too. I really love them a lot and I want to get even closer to them, I'm hoping that this will open up some lines of communication that weren't available before.
A milestone that Kevin and I made is that we decided to take our relationship to the next level and move to a place we can see ourselves settling down in. No major milestone with direct family. We have always been pretty happy with each other:)
This was Nigel's Bar Mitzvah year. 8/18/18 I am now one third Chinese, two thirds Jewish.
Bailey bring born was a major milestone for our now blended family. I never thought this new baby would bring us all closer together. I actually want to babysit her and have her over when I have the girls.
My Mom moved in with me at the same time that my husband also moved back in after a separation. I was really struggling with the loss of my personal space. I gave up the master bedroom, and had to split/share the space in the guest room. It was hard to figure out what to do with all the “stuff”. It is also hard to find a quiet place to think. It is a small house and we are on top of each other. This continues to he hard. I have to find my personal space in a different way. Change. My son got married in December and my daughter got married in July. I am very happy for both couples. I hope they find love and security and respect within each of their marriages.
Sleep training! We are so much happier, all of us! I am so grateful that Isabella is a great sleeper.
My husband and I moved to Israel for ten months! We are teaching Israeli students English and we are about one month into the program. This has been a unique experience thus far and I am very interested to see where the rest of year takes us personally and professionally.
Being able to see that through all my families faults and lack of understanding, underneath it all they love me and they try. And that it's more a lack of knowledge and a lack of experience than a lack of love that prevents them from loving me the way I want to be loved. And also that I am capable of teaching them the way I want to be loved. And they are capable of learning. That it is possible, but first it must come from a place of acceptance.
My kids are becoming much more independent and not needing me as much. It is hard to let go. It is scary to see them not needing me as much.
Paid off all of my credit card debt! Credit Card debt has weighed on me and created fear for years! Fear of being homeless, fear of not being able to pay my bills and all kinds of other unfounded fear. It was so liberating. I wish I could say I cut up my cards but I didn't. I am making a huge purchase, much needed windows for my condominium. I also had a bike accident that resulted in unexpected costs. I admit that I am nervous to enter back into debt but feel now like I know how to focus and get out of it. I even practiced by buying a used car. Bought it and paid it off within a few months.
It's hard to think of any milestone more significant than becoming a mother. There has never been anything more transformative than entering motherhood. Currently with an (almost) 3 month old, it feels like my entire world has changed. I mourn the loss of my old self at times, but also can't imagine life without our sweet girl, and never would choose to go back to life before her. These past few months have been extremely difficult, and have drastically changed what "family" looks like for us, and especially what it looks like for our marriage, but overtime I hope we will figure out our new normal and bring back some of our "pre-kid" hobbies eventually.
It may seem like a small thing but we all have our passports now and that gives me a little peace that we can leave if the need arises.
My husband got a job. Even though he claims to hate it, it has positively affected our entire family, including my husband. He now gets out of bed and has somewhere to be. He has something to think and talk about outside of our children. And, our finances improved drastically.
My parents are sick and don’t really take care of themselves. My mom just broke her ankle and now my dad is most likely going to need back surgery. I feel like they are always wanting and needing others to do so much for them and expect it. I get so stressed thinking about how I am so far away and how I feel they think I should give up what I am doing to go home and take care of them. They now are thinking about moving back to PA for health and help, and I don’t know if it stresses me out more or less than them not being up here.
My Dad's mom passed away and that really effected all of us. I think that I am not closer with my Dads family despite the loss. I spend more time with them and we do more things together. I am grateful for this. I also think I grew closer with my cousins on my Moms side due to our age gap becoming less significant.
After two years of living and working independently in Russia, I finally moved back to San Francisco to be back with my family. But unfortunately, things haven't changed. My mom is a lot nicer to me, which is good. I still don't get along with my sister. As for my dad, well, he still wants me to work at a big company so I can make money. I know I'm not a girl anymore, but I still feel that way even after I moved back with my family. But I'm more than grateful to have my mom and dad. It is heartbreaking to know that my dad's disappointed in my for not being able to find a "real job" after almost 4 years of graduating from college. Sure, I excelled in my teaching job in Russia, but I knew that it wasn't going to last forever. I'm just grateful that my parents are still supporting me and are willing to let me live under their roof once again. I do hope to find a job soon so I can live independently once again, but I also don't want to be far away from my family once again. Only time will tell.
My eldest son finished primary school. It has made me very aware that time is passing quickly and he is growing up. I have to make a conscious effort to stand back and let him become more independent.
My sister died last October and I was able to spend her last few hours with her. She has suffered with dementia the last 12 years so it has been a slow process. Her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren held a celebration of her life and the continuation through the next generations. I saw many whom I haven’t seen or talked with in years, met new members and passed on some of my memories of their mother.
My nephew is having a depression and drug problem. My brother is seeking mine and my wife’s advice. I feel grateful that my brother thinks I can help, and feel scared that they have a lot of hardship and scared nights waiting for my nephew to want to change.
The only milestones coming up will involve relatives in their 90s & I am happy that none of them came due this past year. No weddings, no bnei mitzvahs, no funerals, no babies. It was a placid year, I am relieved to say. We had a family reunion of 46 cousins-- it reaffirmed that we all like & love each other. Pretty major at that!
A major milestone would be the wedding of my partner’s younger sister, and that his also married youngest sister had her second child. He and I are neither married, nor do we have children – and he also has just turned 30 – so what do all these milestones mean for us, our relationship, our future? We don’t yet know, but it scares him – which in turn leaves me feeling unsettled.
Once again, not enough family to have a major milestone.
The marriage counselling is possibly the biggest thing. I have tried to keep things calm in our house and keep my family moving forward in a normal way. I feel stressed. I often feel like I am doing the heavy lifting. I feel sad and alone alot. I am not sure how to share this with my spouse and I am afraid he would be upset.
I am really stumped at how to answer this question. I'm not sure any major milestone occurred this year to my family and me.
Getting fired was the most significant event for me this past year, though I also lost a friend, Marcia, to cancer. That was last October. Another friend moved to Virginia. I guess attending my 50th h.s. reunion was also a major milestone. I felt awkward, but did talk to people and even danced a little. It was nice to travel there with people I actually have seen at least a couple of times in the intervening years.
The little one got married. I am still the non-married older sister. It was also in Israel - so I was able to go back to see friends. I was not as weepy as I was when I was back last year for Pesach, although it did feel weird to "be home", but not really be there. Now there is just my sister and I who are not married, I shall see what happens, but there are comments about that (so added pressure or those thinking there is "something wrong" that we aren't). I also wonder/worry that I will not ever have children. I am also unsure if I will be able to get back to living in Israel (or even if it is the place I am supposed to live in).
We moved out, sold the house. Not sure if we are actually getting divorced. I was depressed, and still think I am. I felt abandoned, adrift. If not for friends, I would be one blink away from tears at all times, and in bed straight after dinner every night. I need help, but now, can't afford to get it. It's true that divorce can cause a partner's lifestyle to diminish, and I am struggling financially, so I can't get help. Hopefully this will help me lose weight.
My stepmother has hit a terminal point with her cancer. At this point she has about 4-5 weeks to live. That isn't as hard to deal with as I thought it would be. I've had 2ish years to grieve. At the same time of this news, my brother decided to elevate a feud, in the wake of my stepmom's condition. My brother and I had unresolved issues, and this turned into a bigger problem when I told him that I wasn't ready to see him. His inability to control his anger has pushed me away for the last time. I have blocked his phone and any social media accounts in which we are 'friends'. I am still going to officially end our relationship as soon as I write something up. I know I won't be able to have a productive conversation with him, so I will send a one-way email with my feelings. He will still have the option of reconciliation, but it will be completely up to him. I am done trying to deal with his poisonous character. I am closing the door, but it remains unlocked.
Holy cow, where do I start? I've moved on from a relationship, got a new job, took a trip to Canada with my dad, discovered that my now ex was a pathological liar and a junkie and now I'm in the midst of attempting to piece my life back together while holding down the above-mentioned job and trying to ensure my ex is both reprimanded for her crimes while equally and hopefully getting the help she needs. For the past three years, I've supported a pathological liar. Her archetype was cancer, and all her issues, came under this banner, be it mood swings, explosions, outbursts or otherwise. I am still unravelling the effect this has had on me. 1. 1. I loved her, but perhaps I loved fantasy and what she could become. 2. 2. I let this happen. I let the lie perpetuate didn't trust my own instincts 3. She not only lied about illness, she equally lied about, where she was, with, who, what she was doing, where her money was going, why she could not contribute and so on and on and on 4. I may have trust issues. 5. I miss the person I thought I loved 6. I miss my mate, supposedly she called herself my best mate 7. I am really sad and happy That said, in the midst of discovering all this, I got a new job and this has been transformational, given my a huge focus albeit, at times excessive. I'm working hard, I'm attempting to study, I'm sorting my house out, piece by piece. I'm paying off the huge debt she has incurred and I will love again and will trust again. albeit I may seek evidence.
Nothing major has happened with my family this year, which is just fine by me. We had a crazy year last year, and that was enough for quite some time.
A major milestone this year was Melissa getting pregnant for the first time. she and P.D. are having a girl. her due date is January 1 of 2019. We are all excited. She just sent me an ultrasound yesterday and the baby is doing great! It has made me very happy. I love seeing the family grow and to see my children making great lives for themselves. It's amazing to see these children I raised be adults and have children of their own. I often miss that age and that time in my life with all my future and dreams ahead of me. I loved raising my children and miss that part of parenting in my life.
Third grade testing showed very high marks for English. Makes me proud she does so well, which I try to remember when she claims she can't do homework!
My sister got married in the past year, which was a big deal for my family. It made me think a lot about my own life trajectory and my future marriage. On a small level, I thought a lot about what I want for my own wedding, but I also thought about the family traditions that I want to hold onto as I go forward.
Sibling taking on more responsibility caring for parents is a relief
Both of my boys are now teenagers. I can't believe how much both of my boys have changed over the past year. They are no longer children and are becoming men, and it is one of the coolest, funnest things to watch. But also, it is sad. I miss their little baby faces and voices and the simplicity of childhood. But mostly, I love this stage of life and really enjoy them being teenagers. I am also realizing how little time I have left with them, which makes me tear up every time I think about it. It just makes you grasp those moments harder and really squeeze as much enjoyment as you can out of everything.
I don't even know who to count as family anymore. There are just so many people, my parents and sister but then so many people on my wife's side but then also, just me and my Wife. I love her, everyday, every choice feels like it can be a big deal. We traveled, grieved, laughed, planned. Another year with her is a milestone and I love it.
I honestly cannot think of any real milestone that happened this year. I stayed sober, which shocked many people; I actually bask in the simplicity and banality that 2017-2018 brought. Blessed by the 'boredom'.
Lots of life transitions-- one generation leaving home and beginning life while another generation continues to thin its ranks and die good deaths. I feel very much in the middle. And am surprised at how quickly the journey has been to here. I am constantly pondering whether I am at the end of the beginning or the beginning of the end. I don't know which is a more desirable stage and I don't know how the relative perspective would (or wouldn't) change the decisions I make.
Dad totally retiring. Baby Leah turning one. She's brought a lot of joy and light to our family.
Getting married brought out interesting family dynamics - but all in all I saw everyone support us even when many different traditions and cultures were at play.
I guess us becoming empty-nesters with the mother-in-law moving to CA at the same time is one. Still sinking in - tune back next year
I live far away from my family, however next month for the first time ever my parents are coming to visit me in Australia. I have not seen them in sixteen months, so I am looking forward to see them and show them around. I hope they will understand why I like it here so much.
I realize that I have chosen family more than blood family. I am attending several weddings in far off locations to get closer with my chosen families.
My wife and I each retired and are getting to spend more time together and getting to explore interests we did not have time for in past
Jen bought a house in New Brighton and Julia's changed schools. It's only the beginning of the school year, we don't know yet what the long view it going to be like. I'm excited for her, though. I am glad she is having the "new kid" experience, I want so badly for her to have the energy, the tools, the confidence to go out in the world and try so many things and I feel like this is one of those times she'll build the skills. I do worry that the school is very white. I loved that at Marcy, Julia's class and the whole school was very mixed. I can't replicate exposure to other kids and cultures in the same way that sitting next to kids of all races, religions and family types was doing for her every day.
There wasn’t really one. My grandparents are getting older so I’m trying to spend more time with them. Maybe my mom giving away all the baby stuff she has kept for the grandkids. That feels sad to me like we’re all acknowledging I won’t have kids.
My brother-in-law split up with his wife. They are both around the same age as me, and I consider them both friends. It was sad news to hear that they had split, and basically, my SIL is no longer family. I made an effort to keep up a friendship, but I get the feeling she just wants to move on. I can understand that, but it hurts. I know it has almost nothing to do with me, but it is still upsetting to lose a friendship when I find it very difficult to connect with others.
A major milestone for Peg and I was that she turned 65. She doesn't "feel" 65 and she doesn't look 65, but she is on Medicare now and that's a weird feeling.
Mentioning my mother my closest partner is trans. Did not go well, showed me I have a lot to teach her before I can introduce them to her.
We had another child. I'm more tired and overwhelmed but enjoying his cuteness and the dynamic of our growing family.
My mom's Alzheimer's has really made me think about how I live my life, how I take care of myself, and how short life is.
My cousins had a baby girl in late August. Everyone is healthy and they are falling into parenthood fairly well. In addition to the excitement of having a baby who live closer and who we will see more regularly, I will be nannying for this baby this year. I will see her multiple times every week and be a crucial part of her life. I think this may test my relationship with my cousins in some ways, but I also think that it could strengthen it. I'm also excited because I've never been around for so many stages of a baby's development before.
My mom and dad are divorced and haven't been together since I was 3 years old. The divorce was pretty ugly and I ended up growing up living with my dad. After the divorce my mother remarried and she and her husband have been together since. Recently my mother and her husband helped me with a few things, which meant a whole lot to me. My mother later told me, she had thanked her husband for helping her daughter, by which he replied: "But she is my daughter too" I'm in my 20's now and have never thought about it before, but he means a lot to me too. I guess it's a enormous milestone for me and I'm getting a lot closer to that part of my family.
Oh boy, a new job, thank goodness I could work from home to care for my husband. One of those 'blessings' of goodness during an especially not good time. The affect and effects I don't know now, maybe not ever. I think of the now and how that will affect tomorrow's now. What help is needed?
Prentice's Mom passed away. I can't say any more about that. Just Mom is gone. She was our rock. She was so much to us. We loved her so deeply. Her stories were so special. Her love was so strong. She was so kind. She never knew a stranger. The world is a bit darker without her. I miss her so much. In fact, her being gone is part of the reason that I will be more apt to remain in my marriage. I can't leave my husband too. He needs me now. That's just who I am and who I will always be. I always put other people first and always will.
I think being closer geographically to family has solidified my decision to move back to the country. I now feel, more than ever, the importance of having family nearby. With the death of my uncle, the nearness to my family has been so wonderfully valuable, especially with some changes going on in my life.
Sitting down and holding our oldest son accountable for his crappy behavior was again, on year two of being kicked out of the house, very stressful for my husband to accept and for me to carry out without falling prey to his endless excuses and childish responses. Working through it and expressing myself firmly and with love and without letting him run off shouting insults over his shoulder, slamming door...etc, was very challenging. By the end of the summer, I believe he is stronger and more focused and more successful living on his own and being responsible for every decision he makes. At least we are not enmeshed in his drama. Exhausting!
it's very very recent, but we just moved to the new flat less than three weeks ago. it's been a learning curve to no longer have all my possessions within eyesight, and to have to throw out a lot of my stuff. this place feels more adult, more like a married couple and less like lodging. once it's truly finished with a tv and a sofa, and our frames are up, it's going to be even better. before, i moved with only a suitcase, so to have gained this many items is surprising, but not so much really since i know i put stock into items as proof of existence. i could never do minimalism because i don't like the idea of being defined by so few things. i've got rid of a lot of clothes, and already i feel slightly stifled by my options. but i like the space, i enjoy having a sofa and another room, and it's a home i'm truly proud of.
We asked for tzedakah. It humbled me, but made me grateful for the help I got and for being in a community where people are willing to help me.
For my family there are little milestones dropping everywhere. One sister lost her father in law, and her son (my nephew) went into drug rehab. Another sister saw her marriage buckle and get redefined, and her son (my nephew) went to prison for drugs. My girlfriend's son is usually the loudest, brashest and least subtle and sensitive person in the room. Though I can sometimes be accused of being oblivious to people's needs and myopic in my empathy, it has been my life's goal since my early twenties to labor toward being a gentleman. I've always sought out budget versions of haute couture, drank aromatic tea, never smoked a cigarette, and tried to treat all women as equals worthy of my immense respect, even when I was attracted to them. As the long overdue #metoo movement blossomed, I did some soul-searching and canvassed the long female friendships I've maintained over the years to see if I'd ever violated boundaries. Thankfully, there were no incidents to atone for, and I could devote my full support to being an advocate. Could I have been more of a role model to the men in my life? Would they have even listened if I'd been more present? There are several generations of boys who were fed a toxic diet of "infant formula" in every sense of those words. Now they're paying the price nationwide. I wish kindness, compassion, and dignity were more glamorized in America. The news, from the lowest gutter to the top of Capitol Hill, often looks like outtakes from the Jerry Springer show, and popular male culture is a wasteland of misogynist hip-hop, navel-gazing and penile art, caustic faux-provocative humor, idiotic hillbilly country music, and absolute conformity. Seriously, nearly every dude I see is covered in crappy random tattoos, has some kind of depressing attempt at facial hair, and is wearing baggy pants and a hoodie, stocking cap or ballcap. They're indistinguishable from one another, from their plump bodies to their emaciated souls. And the current president is the culmination of all of these mistakes -- the embodiment of no education, bad health, shitty attitude and unwarranted hubris. He's a major MILLSTONE that happened to every family this year, and the biggest example of why men are becoming irrelevant to the conversation of progress. Even the men on the Left have few answers, because they weren't trained to have any, and their sense of empathy and forward-thinking strategy have been undernourished for so long. This affects everyone, and it's why men should humble themselves, support the strength, innovation and leadership of women. Men need to completely rehab their own personalities, and like Mr. Fred Rogers' mother told him: "be one of the helpers".
Daddy was diagnosed with prostate cancer. The diagnosis and the ensuing treatment and recovery has definitely brought me closer to him and to my Mum. Thankfully the treatment seems to have worked and so far he is in the clear. And it has made us all more aware of the preciousness of every moment.
My parents bought a house in South Carolina for their retirement home. This is a big move from my hometown of Houston. I've been thinking a lot about what makes home, home, because of this move. A lot of my friends no longer live where I grew up, so it's a little less bittersweet, but I know it will feel weird saying bye to my childhood home for the last time. I've been trying to pour more into relationships that I have presently because of it, especially in the new town I live in.
This year, I really feuded with my dad (feuded is actually an understatement, it was pretty serious), and it really made me think about who I want to be, and what I want to do. To be completely honest, I want to be nothing like him. I want to be happy. I started exercising more. I started to try and have better habits, looking at my phone less and my friends more. I tried, and am still trying, to be a better person.
A and I are starting our own family. That's a pretty big milestone.
I feel closer to death, but also more grateful for each day, each moment of life.
I can’t answer this anymore. I don’t know what is happening with all my children. They don’t need me. They don’t want me. My ex wins. Nothing that I can do to change this.
We took a fantastic vacation to Cleveland. We proved that we can sped a ton of time together in close quarters, have fun, and not kill each other.
Our daughter started kindergarten this year. This is a HUGE milestone for us. We're realizing our own age at the same time trying to find new and exciting ways to celebrate hers. This is a brand new frontier for us as we move forward into this realm. She is our first, and only, child, so all of this is foreign. We're unsure of how to proceed with pretty much everything. The registration process for school was uneventful, however, it wasn't until about a week before school started that we got it done! There's the PTO and the fundraisers and the spirit weeks and oh my gosh I forgot she has snack day this Wednesday! Utterly terrifying trying to keep all these things together even WITH a calendar. I will never be that super mum that is on the tele or with the blog posts with 100000000000 hits on it. I am fractured and broken and crazed and frenzied.
How many major milestones can one have in a year? First, This time last year my mother turned 78 and then passed away of a heart attack pouring a beer in her kitchen. It was quick which was what she always wanted. “I hope I die in my sleep and never wake up” she would tell me often. She had seen the ravages of old age on her parents and how cancer had taken its toll on my father and her brother years prior. I can’t say that I don’t blame her. My mother always had a quirky sense of humor as well and I know that she is smiling down telling me she poured that last beer for me. What a way to go! I miss her dearly but I am thankful she got her wish of a quick death with the poetry of expression. Part this major event was dealing with my family in wrapping up the financial aspects of the estate. Loss is a funny thing to understand and death, even more so to people that have lots of regret and undeveloped coping methods. One such person is my sister Marjorie. Unfortunately, she said too many regrettable things about my family and wife that forced me to sever the relationship. My other sister I had severed ties with long ago on a separate matter. I forgive them both for what they have done and said. However, I will not forget and nor will I be a willing accomplice to allowing ANY form of emotional abuse continue “just because we are blood”. A therapist once told me “you know that whole ‘blood is thicker then water’ thing?” “Yeah”, I responded. “well it’s bullshit”. I have always remembered that I can choose my happiness and when family “wrongs” you doesn’t give them a free pass to continue to say or do things that degrade you as a person. I have let them “go”. They have freedom to live their lives apart from mine. As for me, I choose to let them be a part of mine. Secondly, the birth of my baby girl Ainsley was the next major milestone in my life. She is such a blessing from God. She has the temperament of a bud of morning dew on the leaf of a waking flower. She has more grace then I have ever known to exist in a child and an abundant happiness that over flows into every aspect of the soul. Even though she may cry it is not out sadness, nor anger, but a request baked in politeness. She is a very perceptive person even at 6 months old. Time will start to unveil the true intelligence of Ainsley. There is some thing truly genuine about the way she sees the deep things of life and human nature. She understands, perceives and unravels life with a discerning subtleness. Her eyes are soft and inviting, joyful and happy, but also steady with examination. There is a knowing; a seeing. So, I let her into the tragedy of my last year through my eyes. What I have received in return ll I have received in return is permission to forget and enjoy the moment. Lastly, I lost my dog, Bayley. At 16 years of age, he challenged the meaning of old for a yellow lab. People say “Pets are family” or some other cliche statement in order to comfort the pain of loss something like the death of a pet has on one’s life. Honestly, it really pissed me off. I felt like these statements were some of the most disingenuous statements fleeced with some sort of artificial empathy. The death of Bayley hit me, hard. In more ways, his death had a more significant impact in my life then the death of my mother. Not because my mother didn’t have a significant impact in my life but because Bayley’s life, health and well being depended on me. Additionally, he brought me through a very hard part of my life. As I did for him with two surgeries and eventually being there for him as he took his last breath.
I think the biggest change for us in the past year was my career shift from a regular day job to freelance work. It took me a while to realize that my days are more flexible now so I was able to resume some household tasks I hadn't felt like I had time for when I was working full time, 9-5. My days are still very full but my ability to schedule around my family's needs has been a big blessing.
My youngest entered high school, which means all of my children are now close to becoming adults and leaving home. At the same time, my father turned 75, and became an old man. What does this mean for me --I am truly middle aged, now.
Moving have stressed me out quite a lot. Not knowing where to live is horrible
Growing into an adult relationship with my sons, where we can come together and enjoy each others' paths. I learned to step back and let them make their own choices. They in turn came to me for counsel, unconditional love. I gained a relief from worrying and freedom that they were managing their own lives as mensches.
This year my mom turned 60. She doesn't look or act old but it's a big reminder that she is getting older and one day won't be here with me. We had a surprise party for her, which she requested two weeks earlier, and it was a lot of fun. I love her so much
Aunt Shirley's 90th birthday was a milestone and the party was great. It was so nice to interact with relatives who I haven't seen in many years. I appreciated that these family gatherings are getting easier over the years.
My father-in-law was diagnosed with renal failure this year and I have watched him steadily decline over the past year. I am looking at my own, reasonably healthy, but aging parents, and am trying to make sure that I find time with them and that my kids have time with themm
My cousin Quest got engaged and its really started to get me t inking critically about hat I ant out of a partner. He has everything he wants in her. I know that at her core Ivana is the exact right person for me but I don't know if she will ever get to the point where we can tactfully be together. I love her, that's it
Well my family and I moved out of our grandmother's home after staying there for a couple of months. Really made me appreciate having my own space. Even since then I've been cooking a whole lot more. I don't remember exactly what or why, but I know that it started after moving into a new place, haha.
Everything centered around mom's sickness and death. I'm not sure how it affected me as of today but throughout the past 6 months I have been deeply affected with sadness, anger, confusion, some hope, and acceptance. Another major milestone that has gone largely overlooked (by me, not my loved ones and friends) is my 50th birthday. I had plans, I had visions, none of which came to fruition, yet in the end I had a belated loving party, surrounded by friends and those who love me and have supported me through this difficult year.
My dad entered hospice in the past year. This change in his health has caused me to have to come to terms with the fact that he is going to die and has brought me the opportunity to talk to my family openly and frankly about life and death in a way that we haven't been able to do before.
We got a good handle and head start on the college selection and application process, for both girls, including a clarity and calendar as well as a series of strategies and a capable college counselor
A few weeks ago my therapist of 20+ years asked me how much longer I would be angry at my mother. I was taken aback. It's not that I was in denial about my negative feelings towards my mother, but the forwardness of her question caught me off-guard. This was at the very end of a weekly session, so the next time we started by going through my mother's history of sexual abuse by her brother. I said it has always been easier for me to empathize with anyone else but her because her trauma kept her from giving me what I needed. I 've been thinking about this a lot and find myself softening to her. It sure isn't easy, though.
My mother passed away during this year. This was a first loss of a parent. It was a loss of my daughters grandma, it was the loss of my fathers only partner. Through her decline and during this period, we have all shared memories. The tenderness of this time has brought greater kindness and I have been appreciated for the love and support I provided to my mom during her dying days.
Well there’s the house and finally starting my weight loss journey. My family has started stabilizing and the world has become a busier yet less busy place. I’m not as mentally healthy but I’m working hard on my and my husbands health
It's not exactly a milestone, but with each passing month and year I am more aware that we are approaching the time when our teenage boys will leave our nest to make their own way in the world. I am so proud of them, and I think they are wonderful young men...but the thought of no longer having them at home makes me sad. It also makes me excited for them, and for all they will experience and accomplish. But it does make me sad. These 18 years when each lives in our house are precious and frustrating and beautiful and oh-so-difficult. But God knows I'm not ready for this phase to end yet.
I went through a major surgery, but it coincided with the beginning of Husband being diagnosed with cancer. We were both on bedrest for much of the summer and we had to struggle through wanting to be taken care of while wanting to take care and sometimes not getting either need met. We had to show up for each other in a real way. I hope we can start to become accountable for our roles in our relationship struggles and I hope I can react better when he doesn't. In the end, I just want us both to let go of the stuff that doesn't matter anymore and be here with each other.
The most recent of these major milestones was the first day of school, just a couple of weeks ago. All four of us are following our own paths from day to day, and the first day of school really threw that into focus. How can I walk my path each day, while helping my wife and kids to walk theirs?
Sometimes daily events can appear to be milestones, but when taken in context, not so much. Nothing stands out as a major milestone except what I already described in Q1. That doesn't mean I didn't have a great year - I did.
The summer holidays were full of milestones for my daughter, she learned how to swim in a week long crash course and learned how to ride her bike with no stabilisers. I was so proud of her, we bought her a new bike to celebrate!
My sister is moving home after 8 years out of state. It has affected me in that I will be able to see her more than three times a year and build that relationship to be robust. However, it also means being there for her as she adjusts to such close proximity to family again and the challenges that will come with that.
Because of my Dad's cancer, my parents are living their best life, traveling around the country with their two dogs and trailer. It makes me take stock of the little things, the sharing of a cup of coffee with a loved one, or going for a walk on a nice day. Though the big events are important, it's also the little things. I want what they have.
Fran's sister, Clare, got married to Rob in April. I wanted to wait until after their wedding before proposing to Fran. I did it the following weekend! I didn't want to detract from their special time, so I was happy to wait. Being involved in their wedding also gave us some ideas about what we do and don't want to do on our wedding day.
A major milestone in my family from this past year was the birth of my neice. She is a beautiful, inquisitive, engaged little girl and I am so happy for my sister and my entire family to have her in our lives. She made me think more about where I am in my "family path." Will I ever settle down with someone? Get married? Have kids? I was encouraged to cool it on the kids talk - the fact that I don't want any seems to push many folks away (like Rachel). But there are always openings . . .
My father all but dropped contact with us after a fight I had with him around xmas. At first it was kinda stressful, but now? I feel so free. I don’t have to worry about his visits or playing nice with him.
Avi adjusted to his cochlear implants so well. They have been such a blessing. We got pregnant and endured many good and hard times during it. We gave birth to our precious Natanya! Truly another one of the greatest days of my life!! I am forever inspired , thankful, and forever indebted to Hashem for my many blessings despite my lack of prayer and involvement. I want to be better! This year I WILL be better!!
Eric started taking medicine to address his anger and attacks. It has greatly improved the way he interacts with our whole family. I am so grateful to know what it can be like to live without that anger. I am so proud of the persistence I played in demanding peace for our kids. There's so much more to achieve...
For sure we've bonded even just a bit more than previous years. It became clearer than ever that we work just fine from the distance. We see each other once in a while, and it's just enough (at least for me). It was a sad realization, yet a good one, that those "family days" of old are no longer valid for us. We just cope with each other, update once in a while on our lives and it's just fine.
Milestone - daughter starting high school Milestone - son getting his driving permit Milestone - son finished his formal religious education and was confirmed Milestone (to be) - husband becoming a US citizen on Monday, September 24 It's all just an evolvement of life, kids growing up and how we can guide them into adulthood.
Michael graduated from high school!
Second year without mom.The kind of milestone we don't celebrate. It drove me to be better. She always said I was a hero. I never felt like one.But, now I want to be one. For her. Even when everything in the world makes me want to be the villain. I guess I can settle for anti-hero.
The breakup with S and D. Wow. 2 major relationships ended within the same couple weeks. It does make me wonder a bit about love and what makes a marriage work, but I think it also says something about the strength of the women in our family.
three family pets have left us this year: one died, one we had to return to where we got him, and another disappeared. In a way it's comforting to have fewer pets in the house - it's also been emotionally draining.
My full conversion to Judaism on March 22, 2018 and even before that my circumcision on February 9, 2018. These were pivotal moments in my life. Unlike when I became a Jehovah's Witness, there was no pressure. It was all about me and only me in this final start of my journey as a Jew. I am a Jew. My husband was very supportive of me and very proud of me. I even caused him to reflect on his Judaism. That was a major high light for me this past year. My in-laws were especially happy for me too. Even now saying I am Jewish feels awkward at times. As if I am a shame or embarrass that someone may question the validity of my conversion and claiming that I am Jewish. But I am part of a people now and I can not turn back now.
My husband and I had our 9th year wedding anniversary. Although 10 is more of a traditional milestone, nine seems like an awfully long time. I'm amazed that in our struggling relationship we have made it this far. I wish we were closer and more of a couple. It seems like maybe we don't even know each other or even like each other.
My niece had a baby. This has further distanced me from the household as I find her dependence and controlling ever more difficult.
Haley gave birth to my first grandchild in 2017! This has been such a wonderful new chapter. I'm just sad she lives so far away.
I’ve spent more time with my pops and my stepmom this year since longer than I can remember. This has made me feel more whole, more blessed and more loved. They love me so much. So, so much.
Mom graduated from her second masters program and got two part-time jobs. This has been really interesting and puts some strains on our relationships with her. She wants to talk about them and we struggle to interact on those topics. It's been interesting and definitely a learning experience for how we can best support her.
We found a donor! It makes me so baffled to think about the great known-unknown, also scared and excited and happy and curious. it feels like a real honing-in of J and me, aligning our teamwork, and it comes at a time when I think we've been feeling a little pulled professionally so having this familial project feels important and right.
My son turned a year old, which in and of itself didn't affect me hugely but was certainly a cause for celebration! I suppose alongside that his grandparents (on his dad's side) came to stay for a couple of weeks and that visit - plus other visits from our family overseas - has increasingly helped me realise how important it is to me to move back to New Zealand. The older our son gets the more he is able to connect with and remember people, and miss them when they are gone. But also with big gaps in time he takes time each visit to get used to people again and I just feel it would be better for everyone to be able to have more regular face-to-face contact. I also saw with my partner's parents how they are getting older and more frail, and it is becoming more and more obvious that they won't be around forever or at least the travel and being involved with their grandson will get harder and harder. So there has been a shift in my long term outlook that ultimately I am working towards a move home - this means sorting out what I could do work-wise, thinking about the practicalities of our financial situation, and helping my partner come round to the idea!
I've learned that I don't particularly fear my own death, but the deaths of others terrify me.
My little niece who was just born last year, finally just started walking! She is so different from her older sister but brings the same amount of joy to everyone. It's made me appreciate how quickly time seems to be going now.
This is the first time that I've read this question and thought of being a family of one, by nuclear family standards, I'm an old maid :) No husband, no kids...just me. So my definition of family is much broader, my family is my village. My family includes members that I share a gene pool with and those that I do not. My family is Big, Busy and a lil bananas but I wouldn't have it any other way. This year in my family their were college graduations, first home purchases, weddings and thankfully no transitions, so I get to love up on 'em some more in this physical realm.
Well, the big one was that Abrie was born. This has moved me from a child of parents to a parent of a child, a step forward in the progression of life. It’s made some prioritization obvious where it used to be confusing, since I have so little time to devote to things outside family life. It’s put this little ball of chaos into my planning and forced me to be in a place of receiving instead of a place of...carrying out a predetermined plan? much more often. And it’s put a whole new person in my world and I’m starting to be able to see the outlines of the family we are becoming, and the outlines of the person he’s going to be. When I think of him I am sometimes so tired and stressed and sometimes just full of warmth and love for this joyous person I’m meeting a little more every day. I’ve also become more touched by babies and affected by stories of parents and young children, so when I read about things happening to parents with babies in other parts of the world it feels so much more immediate, I feel instant kinship.
Both boys have decided what is next. As have Donna and I. We had a good family trip to Longmont (Samuel) and to Rancho Cordova (Daniel). Mom and Dad are getting a house ready in Enka Village. Transition is in progress. I find it exciting to create a new life.
My stepfather passed away. All my childhood traumas resurged, triggering a months-long bout of PTSD I am still pulling out of. Healing is hard work.
Year after year, this question creates a blank for me. Generally, my family seems to exist in a long, stable, unexciting place. When people ask me how my mom is, they’re surprised to hear that she’s still at the same job in the same house with the same hobbies. Developments and milestones in my dad’s life don’t quite ripple into mine. It’s the same old, same old, and I’m thankful for that.
My dad started the process of both getting his passport information in order (after more than 25 years lapse), and also committed to himself to find a place to live close to my sister and I, and her family. It impacted me because I realized that, as my dad turned 73 this year, we are in the final batch of adventure years together and I don't really feel like we've gone on as many adventures as I would like! I am excited that he has taken it upon himself to get things started but I am still nervous. It has impacted myself and my sister and brother in law because we have started thinking about what we will need to do as a team and as a family, in order to support him in his last third of life. However, it is also exciting because I know he wants to continue tackling projects and trips and I believe if I can keep him going, it will improve his (Already good) quality of life and extend his active years. It has ALSO given me a reality check about my own life, if I want a family and has reinforced the urge to really put a loving, lifetime partnership front and center in my priorities. So, I guess I take the good with the bad on this one!
I think my family’s had a fairly quiet year - probably in comparison to the last. Everyone’s still worried about Grandma and Pa. Their going into a home and needing more care has really caused some divides I think. Some people still want to ask them for money - which is horrendous - and it’s obviously causing tension.
Getting married to E was the biggest thing this year. We've now been married for nine months. It's hard to really understand the enormity of marriage and what that means to me. It's hard to conceive of what I'll be like and what I'll be doing five or ten years into the future; even more impossible to picture our relationship in 30 years. Who will we be? I had lots of fine thoughts about loyalty and love and I find myself running up against my own selfishness and how truly difficult it is to love someone and sacrifice for them. And true sacrifice hasn't even been on the table yet! Just those little day-to-day things of getting out of bed to make him food or taking the time to do the laundry if he needs something particular to wear.
My second granddaughter was born and is now about 7 weeks old. Her older sister was born just over 3-1/2 years ago and died 5 weeks later of SIDS. It's such a challenge to wait to see how Wynn will do, but also a relief that she already seems to be thriving more than her sister Merrill did.
My brother got engaged. That’s good. And it has meant I’ve been in touch with him more helping with the save the date cards. So I’m glad of that. My other brother has a step son now and I’ve met him. He really seems like a dad. It’s strange to see that but he’s happy. And I’m glad I get to be involved. So all in all I think im growing closer with my brothers. Bridging the gap. I’m glad they still want to be in touch even with all the distance I’ve put between us, physically and emotionally. I’m glad I’m not comfortable enough to be out and open with them and that they accept me now for who I am. (Not that they didn’t before, I just didn’t give them a chance before and I’m glad I did now and that it didn’t go sour).
We moved to Puerto Rico! Last year when we moved, there was so much excitement and possibility. This year when we flew back after spending the summer with family, i think reality hit a bit harder. Instead of being in new adventure mode, i was kind of bracing myself for everything that comes with island life. The hardest things are being away from family and friends and the language being a barrier still, although we are learning. Overall i am happy we made the decision to come here, but it does feel different this year.
Enormous changes happened this year. I left the country. My sister moved 10 minutes away from my home and my other sister moved home. This has changed the family dynamics enormously as we are now centered around my hometown. We will all be making decisions based off this. Coming home for the summer (and for subsequent winters) will always be different knowing my sister and her husband are there. It's totally changed my life and my family's life.
My spouse's kids both moved away and bought houses. I feel inadequate and like a failure. I am 49 and have nothing but poverty to show for it.
My brother got his maker space studio space. He had been building and selling products online for the last few years, he finally took the plunge and got a space on lease. He has students, and is breaking even and I am going to help him with an infusion of money which I don't anticipate any need for myself.
Both kids are now involved in emergent, seemingly healthy love relationships! This makes me so happy, since I feel it is one of the most important factors in living a full life, offering more potential for "happiness" than anything else. So it is music to a loving mothers ears.
Dad turned 65! Mom threw a great party for him at our home, surrounded by his friends and family. At first I was questioning flying in for it, but then Mom made the executive decision that I should fly in and they would buy my plane ticket. And boy amd I glad they did. I cannot believe I would have considered missing this major milestone. After all, we've had some significant deaths this past year of friends that were my parents' age, so we really do need to celebrate the happy times when we can. And it really made me think about my parents' mortality. They always seem so lively and spirited, but so did Naomi and she passed away this past year. The mathematician in me started doing the calculations of how many years we probably have left with them and how many good years we have left too. It started making me a bit sad but also want to appreciate them so much more and enjoy all of the time we get to spend together. I'd like to talk to my brother about this topic too to see what he thinks.
My brother-in-law and his wife had a baby. Yet living across the country, I've yet to meet the little guy. I'm so happy for them. Meanwhile, my other brother-in-law is going through a rough separation that I'm hoping finally brings everyone in their family peace. It makes me grateful for my own life and my own supportive family.
Gabe and Tara got engaged, which is great. I am single as can fucking be and I’m not sure how this will feel as we get closer, but it’s good to know that the muggle child picked a person we like and will go ahead with life milestones. I think it makes people happy. I suspect I make people worry, if they think of me at all
I don't know that we had a major milestone this year.
My grandpa was diagnosed with cancer. It has changed my outlook on the time I spend with my family.
My grandparents both have finally started to act their age and their health is getting significantly worse. My grandfather is suffering mentally, not remembering certain things and thinking he's still in a war s0metimes. It is definitely upsetting and I have had some doubts and feelings about the meaning of suffering. My grandmother on the other hand has had cancer and a surgery, but then she still got cancer and also a stroke. Even after all that she told me being truly old is a great experience and an important time. This has made me really think about the older generation and how we treat them.
Jason starting dialysis has had a huge impact on us. I'm hoping his upcoming surgery will be next month and will make our lives much better knocking on all of the wood. I'm hopeful about that.
We hit 20 years of marriage. I guess I realize that barring extraordinary circumstances that I'll probably be a lifer. Even though this has been an extra difficult year financially my wife has stuck with me through the bad times. It's been very hard to see her so depressed and unhappy for such a long time. It has taken away from my joy in living as well, and I feel as though my life has shrunk rather than expanded
My nephew, played in the USPGA Junior Golf tournament in North Berwick, Scotland. It was a beautiful place to be in but what made it better was the company. I didn't realize what a big deal it was until I got there - he was one of around 600 kids from different countries! The opening ceremony was at Gosford House, the seat of the Charteris family, Earl of Wemyss and March. And to think that even a generation ago, we wouldn't have been allowed to walk in the front doors as Indians. It was a wonderful feeling!
My sister moved to Israel for the year, and her abscence was felt greatly. I was reminded of our incredibly unique and special bond and how much I respect and value her presence in my life.
The family I was trying to build with a partner separated and I will be taking legal steps to divorce. I spent some time feeling like a failure, but really, the relationship was abusive and toxic and I was being emotionally and psychologically eviscerated every time I went home, so leaving was a point of survival. Since then I have been able to see my parents anytime I want, and I joined a pool team with my youngest brother so I see him all the time. My parents and youngest brother bought a house. And I get to see my best friend since kindergarten at least once a month again. I also began dating again. Maybe it was a bit soon, thought it felt right after so long without any real companionship to try. I spent about 6 months seeing a variety of men who caught my attention, but didn't hold it. I have since met a man who feels truly good, who is actually dating me rather than trying to fuck me, who is kind and respectful and fun to be around. Ending my relationship with a woman has again prompted a minor flair up in questioning of my sexuality. But as a 36 year old woman, at this point, I'm bi and there is not a thing wrong with it. When your a kid and trying to figure it out the "either or" pressure is what fuels most of the confusion, I think. I know better now. My family dissolved. I have reconnected with those who are the most important to me. I have met someone I would like to spend time with who has a child and I will have to navigate that (I've never dated anyone with children). I am excited for the next adventure. The ending of my marriage is quite possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Again it would have to be the loss of both of my parents. They have left a void in my life and the life of my family. The number of lives they touched has been turn touched me. I also feel it is now my responsibility as the oldest sibling to assume the mantle that my father took on. He was the caregiver and problem solver for so many relatives and friends.
My parents celebrated 30 years of marriage. That is BONKERS - 30 years?! And Grandmom Gloria and Grandpop Dave celebrated 58, and Grammy Heidi and Grandpa Norman celebrated 55. It is pretty remarkable, first of all, to have all four grandparents in good health. And second of all, to have such long, happy marriages on all sides. My parents model real love and partnership. They always joke that if they were to separate, they'd each be screwed, because neither one would want to be with anyone else - and Dad would probably be terrible at dating. I want what they have. They actually love spending time together, and celebrated their 30th anniversary ALL year long - from a long weekend in California, to an Elvis vow renewal ceremony in Las Vegas, to a weekend at the Beresheit in Mitzpe Ramon, to a family dinner at the Victor Cafe in Philadelphia with all 3 kids (and B's roommates). They challenge each other, get frustrated, and push each other - but at the end of the day, there is no one they rely on more. They're loving empty nesting, and finding new things to do together. Dad supports Mom's new role as President of Women's Philanthropy, and Mom as always, supports Dad professionally and keeps him in check. These 3 amazing couples model partnership, love, caring, and place a high value on family. I hope to eventually have someone to introduce to them that's up to par - because I know better than to settle for anything less.
Now that my mother's estate is settled my siblings and I receive monthly payments from the trust. I look at this as unencumbered funds. I have invested most of it and I am able to offer it to my son if he needs. Despite how difficult my mother was to deal with this has made other people's lives easier, something that she was never able to do while living.
Mom and I don't talk anymore. Things are much more peaceful in my life. My hands and lips and feet don't tingle as much anymore, like a severely reduced amount of tingling. I had a dream last night that she got sick and died. It was upsetting. I wish things weren't like this, but she is a stressful and toxic person. Until she can respect my boundaries, I don't want to have anything to do with her. It's terrible.
I don’t know if there was a major milestone this year. But Josie started second grade. I am so proud of her and I can’t believe how old she is!
We hit the two year mark on my Dad's death. It has started to feel more real now (finally) like I know for sure that this is real life now. I know that sounds crazy but it's true. I feel like it is getting easier for my Mom, she has been able to sell his truck and get rid of a few of his things. She is able to talk and remember him without crying every time. Although it makes it a little easier to know this is my life now I am still very very sad and miss him all the time. I hope I never forget what it felt like to hold his hand.
I think it’s telling of my family that there have not been particular milestones. Or maybe there have been, just not communicated. We continue to live distant lives without really talking. If anything, I think the personal milestone for me has been becoming more aware of the deeper and more subtle ways that years of neglect and abuse have impacted me, and how this pattern of secrecy has been passed down through generations and perpetuates. Sometimes it’s the best thing to do your own thing and protect yourself. Fortunately, chosen family can be created and be much healthier than biological family
Our son started kindergarten. He goes to school in a yellow bus and waves to me from the window. He wears his old dinosaur backpack containing the snacks I prepare for him and a tag instructing the driver who is allowed to pick him up from his stop at the end of the day (which I had to attach to the bag with a metal cable to keep him from losing). He is dwarfed by the older kids who wait at his stop. It feels perfectly natural and completely unnatural at the same time. Our little boy is becoming his own person in the world. I hope they take good care of each other.
Proposals and pregnancies.... This past year we had good news from all over. Everybody is still here, healthy, getting older.
I am pregnant - with twins. In all the hustle of maintaining the pregnancy and the anxiety around making sure it took, I’ve quickly transitioned to “go mode” and am now fully focused on getting ready for the twins arrival. Between those two extremes, I don’t think I’ve really stopped to process the monumentous milestone this is. After trying to grow our family for so long, we’re really here. Obviously, it has affected me quite a bit physically as I grow bigger by the day. I don’t think I’ve yet processed how this has affected me emotionally or spiritually. I’m not quite sure when I will.
Again it's probably my father being diagnosed with Alzheimers. When he was first taken to hospital someone in the philippines helped my mother set up a group chat that included me and my sisters. and she also added my nephew zeke. she wanted an easy way to give us all updates about how he was doing. it became a dumping ground of pent up anger and frustration and general family pain. especially on the part of Chava and Zeke. It became about them and not about my father nor was it a very supportive environment for my mother. there are still so many unanswered questions about my father. and i suppose it's the not knowing and realizing that we'll never know that set them off. zeke had a lot of anger towards a grandfather who didn't make any effort to know or build a relationship with his only grandson. Chava posted all the archive material she found about him in the internet. In the end it all made me sad and tired. And I also felt resentment towards my father for still claiming the airspace even when he was not communicating. So what should have been a support channel for my mother became something much different. And all of this has shown me just how broken this family really is. Will we stay together after he goes? After my mother goes? I have no idea. And that makes me super sad.
My sister moved in with her boyfriend. I don’t reslly like him or how he treats her and it makes me worry that they’re in it for the long haul. My grandmother is 93 and has slowed down significantly. It’s hard on my mother — who is one of her caregiver. It’s hard to be living across the county and not able to help in the way that I would if I lived closer by.
I don't know what the milestone could be, but our family seems to have drifted further away from one another.
I'm growing a baby inside me! This is a huge milestone for us, and it will affect everyone in our family. It has already made me do a lot more thinking and delving into what family, life, and motherhood can look like and how those things should take shape in my life. I've become more conscious about the family I have and the family life I want to cultivate.
Mum stopped working! It's great! She seems so much happier! And Deb and Jeff seem to have separated, which is sad. I'm really happy that Mum retired, and only a little worried about money. She's definitely more present and doing things she likes more. Deb and Jeff - just really surprised and confused, and a little scared about the increasing number of divorces in my social circle.
Jazzy had her baby! She looks so happy and now you have another cousin to love on! She's precious!
My dad decided to sell the house and build a new one. He bought a puppy. He also fell and broke his hip. I have decided to move to Los Angeles. I negotiated a raise (not as much as I wanted, but more than the original response). We made it past the one year mark. I don't know that there is a major milestone. I think we just have that one year of firsts without my mom out of the way. I think about her every day. There was one day I realized I didn't think about her, and it devastated me. I miss her so much, but we are all trying to create a new life without her - even though she is always with us. I still feel stuck. I still feel numb an disconnected, but I'm trying.
No major milestone this year. This year it was all about survival.
Oh fuck. Go away.
It's been 10 years since I got married and since I graduated from grad school. I've been with my husband since I was 19 years old!! I'm feeling a little older but mostly proud. I've never stuck with anything as long. Uncle Bob had brain surgery in the fall and our family really rallied and came together. I hope we can do the same in the future as needed. It was really nice to spend time with all of them. My heart hurts when I leave them.
I'm not sure there were any major milestones this past year. Lots of little things - but not one really big thing. The little ones have all added up and I wish I would have done things differently.
Both kids are in middle school this year. I am glad they seem to get along well and look out for each other, as I think this will help with Ashley's transition to middle school. And Dad turned 80. Hard to believe, after almost losing him to cancer about 43 years ago, when I was about 8 years old. He and Mom are slowing down but still make it out to many of the kids' events.
Johns death. I relate to him a lot even though we didn’t ever speak. It’s weird he’s gone
I had my first three pregnancies, including two miscarriages. I'm still reeling from the roller coaster.
I have spoken already anlut my father. The other thing has been me working three days a week for a certain period and being away from my family during that time & my oldest starting school. It made me realise on my skin how time flies, my kids grow quickly & time with them is very previous and I need to protect it especially now. They are little only once and they really need me as much as I really really need them. I wont be increasing my working time again and try to soend as much good quality time with them as possible. Also being away really affects me emotionally & physically.
I like the definition of a milestone as a stone placed beside a road to mark the distance in miles to a certain place. I also appreciate a milestone as an action or event marking a significant change or stage in development. I can’t think of a better way to define my most recent road trip to visit family in Nevada and Northern California. The intuitive feeling to head north and visit my grandmothers (yes, I am blessed to be 40 years old with both maternal grandmothers alive) was strong this summer. It was the first time that I set out on my own to spend a week with my loved ones. The last time I spent that much time up north was as a child during summer vacation. How remarkable to connect with my grandmothers as an adult and develop an entirely new perspective and appreciation for their life’s journey.
The matriarch of my wife's family passed away. It made me reflect on my family, what is really important and to commit to spend more quality and quantity time together.
Both of my parents' birthdays have been huge milestones that have affected me. Now that my dad is approaching 70 (!!) I feel like they are really getting old and it scares me. When I hear that my dad won't go into the attic anymore, and things like that. I get worried about them. I constantly worry about their health and what's going to happen to them. I'm hoping that I get to spend more time with them in this coming year and that I can try to stop worrying about them.
Learning to live and accommodate all of Adams needs while keeping a loving environment at home is an ongoing process the circle of Ivan Adam and myself is beginning to fall in sync
Perhaps it's little of me to assign the most significant milestones to two particular unemotional, non-earth shattering developments within my small family circle. I pride myself deeply in advancing self-awareness in my children and in a self-satisfying notion of knowing them. I almost regard them as little scientific subjects in my self-grown lab and am fascinated to note their development into individualism, some of which I connect to and recognise in myself, but other bits which are foreign, puzzling and engaging all the same. I want to understand all three of them, and avoid spoiling their development by unsolicited interference and injecting my own selfhood and ideas about who they are with deception about my motives. It's difficult to balance my natural nosiness and let them have their freedom to escape over-analysis. My youngest was always more of a mystery to me in terms of his thinking, his internal world. That's the thing with people who live in internal worlds. Unlike me, some children don't wish to share it. He was always a dreamy child, staring off into the distance, out the window, at the movement of the trees, thinking what I imagined were poetic, fantastical thoughts and I so wanted to peek into his little world. But unlike my other two, he was always happy to frolic alone and never had any desire or inclination to share his world. But older now, that began to change over the last year. But not quite how I thought. Turns out my deep thinking, dreamy little boy spends a lot of time deep thinking and dreaming about football. His communication has bloomed and it's more or less about statistics, player trades or whatever they are called, scores, leagues, games, strategies. He's a generally cheerful little man, casually affectionate, non-competitive with a childhood ambition to talk, watch, engage, play and read football. He doesn't want to talk about his feelings when he's upset and generally has any emotional crisis or bad temper solved by being fed. My deep, dreamy little poet turns out to be a jolly, little bloke. To me it is an important, if amusing revelation and I am confounded that somehow my sportless genes managed to produce a cheeky, cheerful, little dude with no desire to read anything unrelated to football or engage in long conversations about feelings. The other major milestone is my daughter now being old enough and mature enough to be left for a few hours in charge of her brothers at home alone. It was a strange feeling, and extremely recent, to leave them all without a babysitter, even though I was nearby and constantly checking my phone. It's a strange and foreign advancement. My little family is maturing into responsible little people who can keep themselves alive for short spurts of time without my or a hired watchful eye. It's frighteningly soothing..
I am happy to see my son moving on with his life and coming into his own. He is excelling at his job and has a lot of respect there. A solid vehicle, a good apartment with excellent roommates. It makes my heart happy. I am so proud of him.
This year, my family moved to Maine after a rigorous search process in 7 states. I am thrilled that we made it through the last few years of uncertainty and unknown, doing our best to lie back into the river of life, and I am even more ecstatic that we have landed in a state with kind, warm people, an exciting political landscape, and natural beauty to explore and enjoy. We hope this is our forever home, and we plan to contribute to the community.
Dad's oceanside memorial was just about a year ago. That weekend marked a turning point in the family dynamics. We have each made efforts to remain in contact, and to speak honestly and from the heart when we talk. That memorial was like a weight lifted from my shoulders, as if now that we'd had the memorial, I could stop carrying Dad around. I still miss him, but not quite so sharply.
Dad's passing. The hours before have deeply impacted me. The witnessing of the power of words and love. I had been visiting but he didn't rouse to wake up and talk. Until one moment when he said, "Take me home." I told him he was home and later considered that he might have meant it literally. So I spoke quietly in his ear: In your dreams see a road. Walk down the road. Keep walking. In fact, look for Mom, take her hand, and walk down the road together. Keep walking. Don't look back. We are fine. He had stopped snoring while I spoke and resumed when I stopped. He died 8 hours later. I feel I help and supported him in death as he had so generously helped me in life. And that generosity spilled over after his death. His home sold for so much that it has given his 3 kids much financial support. In this way he paid for my wedding and honeymoon! The best wedding present he could've given us.
Both my father-in-law and my estranged biological father died about two months apart. I am humbled at how starkly different their passings were marked by other people. How you live makes a huge difference in other people's lives, and what your legacy becomes (my FIL's funeral had over 250 people in attendance, and over 175 people in attendance at the reception, with glowing spontaneous eulogies and anecdotes shared, and continue to be shared, by many; my ebf had no funeral because his children did not think anyone would come).
Again, my family had a pretty "Business As Usual" year. Which, is unfortunate. We all got together at Easter, which was definitely different, and exciting!
Major milestones with my family were Roger's injury and consequent surgery, Lily being born, and Alex getting married. The combination of all of the stresses has made me very aware of my shortcomings and taught me to keep my ideas to myself as things go just fine without my input. I am focused on weight loss now. Not eating more than 500 calories/day at the most and exercising at least the hour per day are my new obsessions.
My grandma and aunt died. I watched my grandma die - my first time being beside a dying person. And my aunt's death - a total surprise, probably preventable. I watched my family come together to support each other around losing her. I am grateful that my family are closer together because of it. I certainly feel closer to my family, anyway. I don't take being alive for granted (although I thought that I didn't before), and realized that actually everything will continue if I die and I don't have to worry so much about getting everything right (because really we all die eventually anyway). I feel very comforted by this.
My Dad had a nervous breakdown last year & I didn’t have the understanding of why & how that could happen or how to help xx I knew he needed help & how he was feeling without him saying. He got better but I wished I’d understood what was happening & how to help xx We we’re just there for him at the end of the day. My Mum had a major operation on her back & we were worried if it didn’t work out then she could be paralysed or have other complications xx again I couldn’t ‘fix’ her so we were just all there for her. I’ve always been a fixer, but I learned that sometimes you just need to be there for someone & it’s ok if you can’t fix them you just need to give them your time xx
Traveling to Alabama for Thanksgiving is sort of a mile stone, I suppose. Especially for an Asian family, right? I never minded the few times visiting the South - it reminded me of Oregon, back in the 80's. People praising me for my English speaking skills and asking me where I'm from....originally. It felt a bit homey.... except for maybe the "madams" and "sirs" scattered here and there.
My youngest has entered Kindergarten. It's time for me to go back to work. I just need to find the courage.
My dad died. I'm more worried about the impact on my mum but she seems to be doing ok. I'm not sure I miss him 'enough', as I've accepted his passing without being too upset. When my brother died I had to cope for the family, so didn't really get to grieve for a long time. I'm worried that my dad's death is just waiting to hit me on top of other bad news I've just had.
This may be more of an epiphany than a milestone, but a big thing that happened with my family this year is realizing that when I hear the term "your family" I want to think first of my husband and I, instead of my extended family. We've been married for 8 years, so this seems a little silly, but the fact that we've chosen not to have children has, I think, kept me from thinking this way until now. If someone were to say of one of my siblings "they need to do what's best for their family," I would immediately think that meant their spouse and children. But if someone were to ask me about my family, I still think of "my family" as my parents, my siblings, their spouses, children, my husband and I. At 40 years old, it's time to change this image in my head. It doesn't mean I care about my extended family any less, but it does help me to think differently about my priorities and think of myself as belonging somewhere that is special and mine. It elevates and honors the life we two have created.
I am happy to say that my oldest daughter and I have found a way to have a good relationship as adults even though our past has been rocky and guarded. After my granddaughter's tragic and untimely death last year, I feel my daughter has, once again, come to need me, and I can now truly be available to her. But our relationship is like Swiss cheese, full of holes where years of neglect on both our parts has left many unanswered questions. Being honest and open makes us vulnerable in ways neither of us quite trust yet. I am afraid of losing her all over again.
My oldest daughter learned to drive, got her license and got her own car. This was so bittersweet. It gave her a new level of independence as well as responsibility. But for me it was another good bye, another letting go. She no longer needs me the way she once did. These changes in independence happen so subtly that they can go unnoticed. That is, until you look back and remember changing diapers, feeding them, reading to them, making them food, tying their shoes, driving them places, attending appointments with them. And then one day, I realize that she can do all these things for herself. There are very few tasks she needs me to help her accomplish.
My son-in-law sent me texts attacking my past and my character. He told me to “lose my number.” I found reflection but no truth in his tirade. I don’t think I will miss his company.
I met my nephew for the first time. He is the first child in the new generation for our family. Meeting him made me think about my own plans for children and my parents' aging. We are all here for but a short time.
Dad got sicker. That was hard to deal with. I wish I could do more to help; it is hard to realize how mortal he is. My nephew, Joey, went off his feeding tube and started preschool. This doesn't have much of an effect on me, but it is really great to see him better.
Sister continues treatment for breast cancer. (On the day I wrote this, she was still undergoing treatment; yesterday on Friday, September 21, 2018, she sent a text to me that said, "cancer free." That is huge. My dear friend (an extended family member) had a tumor the size of a cantaloupe removed from his kidney, along with the kidney. I am now his caregiver, but I'm tired of caring for everyone, after devoting myself to my grandmother, mother, and other friends and boyfriends full-time, spending thousands and thousands on them. I wasted two more years on a relationship I knew was a bad idea. My sister had been my counsel and voice of reason. Before that same pattern. The most recent disaster of a guy finally broke up with me (for the second time) and this put me in a place where with everything that's happened, I'm forced to look at myself and my mom's and dad's relationship patterns and change for the better. My father, against my sister's and my warnings, fell for an online relationship scam and is out around $10k or $15k. He won't talk about the real amount. We didn't judge him, because we know he just wants someone to be with and doesn't want to be alone; he was warned multiple times that this seemed risky and that we saw many red flags. This is all negative stuff, but it has made me look more closely at myself, and my family, and our patterns. I'm in therapy. My sister is continuing treatment. My dear friend is responding well to his immunotherapy. I wish my sister and I lived closer. She is in Arizona, and I am in central Washington, but everything has brought us all closer together. We all call each other more often, although we live on opposite sides of the country. Dad is clear on the east coast, near the Canada border. Opposite corners. My sister and I are closer than we have ever been. I'm still caring for my friend with stage 3 cancer, but I am trying to be balanced about it. Not give all to others. I just want to withdraw and concentrate on myself. I want to visit my sister as soon as the time is right. All in all, we are closer, but we are physically far apart.
Dad passed away the day before Thanksgiving. Designing and overseeing his memorial service was quite a feat, but my sisters and I came together and created a thoughtful, heartwarming, and inspirational service. We sold his house just a few days ago on September 7. It's hard to believe that I’ll never walk into his home again and find him sitting quietly in his rocking chair (usually in the dark, as he was notorious for turning off all the lights in the house! Lol!). As for major milestone birthdays since last October, J turned 16, PJ turned 13, and I turned 40!
It’s not really a major milestone, but I tried to plan a nice vacation with my family along with my dad and his wife. From my perspective, it was a failure. I felt like I compromised my wishes for him and his wife, and in the end she didn’t come and he was only briefly there. This made me rethink my priorities with my dad. I felt like I prioritized spending time with him much more than he prioritized spending time with me and my children.
My sister's moving here, and formally becoming a god parent. Cementing the family relationships I've chosen, and those I grew up with. And it's made me feel useful, and see that I have value
Milestones....Mom turned 91, survived a mastectomy and six weeks of radiation in high spirits. My daughter is making significant progress with her mental health issues and found relief following her surgery. We now have two lovely granddaughters into whose lives we are wholly invited...I am BeeGee to them since I am not their “blood” grandmother. I am surviving without my own therapist now—he retired. My husband and I celebrated our 32nd anniversary still loving, still supporting each other. I have my challenges, but so much to be thankful for.
My grandparents have sold their house and bought a new apartment. It'll be strange to not go to their street again. Some of my earliest pictures were taken there. All those Christmases, Easters... I try not to think too much about the fact that they're getting older.
I got another cat, Koopa. He has been a welcome addition.
I heard from both of my sisters that I had made their lives miserable. One, when pressed to answer the question from her daughter about why we were not as close as she (my niece) would like us to be, said, “You were mean to me when we were children.” I was flabbergasted. Not necessarily that she perceived me as having been mean to her, a perception to which she is entitled and to which there may be some truth, but that at the age of 60 (she’s 60, I’m 68) she was still hanging on to this baggage. I still don’t know what to say or do. The other one, having invited herself here, which is the only way she visits because I don’t invite her, after very graciously cleaning my kitchen, reacted to two sermons I’d written in a way that sounded like I’d made her childhood miserable as well. About 20 years ago, in a rare moment of insight for her at the time, she said, “I saw what was happening to you [meaning being consistently harangued and yelled at by my parents for things or ways that I did that did not meet their standards for appropriate behavior -because I was a very non compliant and unhappy child - not that anyone got why I was unhappy-], so I decided to become perfect, so what was happening to you didn’t happen to me.” When this came up as, in essence, you made my childhood miserable, again, part of which is accurate as I wasn’t very pleasant to her, either, I reminded her of that observation from 20 years ago. This time she said, oh, no, that’s not what I said. I said I decided that I had to adopt the role of peacemaker. Which is pure nonsense. I realize our memories are not always accurate, but I remember that conversation the way I quoted it. However, it was a snippet of a longer conversation so it’s possible that she elaborated then as she remembered now. These recent experiences made me eventually laugh out loud that they both had all this old baggage. Even if it’s stuff they have worked out, what’s the point of telling me now? I feel like I don’t trust them. And what they both conveniently forget or don’t acknowledge, is that I have always been different than my parents and sisters. It’s like they were four peas in the same pod and I was a watermelon. The only thing we had in common back then is that we both lived on vines. They don’t get this. I’m very? I don’t know. I was angry. I was sad. But a lot of the time I just laugh and think this is the stuff of my novel.
Me and my mom are finally able to talk about what happened to me. It's incredible how I thought she would never understand why I kept silent about the rapes, turns out she does get it and is kind and understanding towards it. Being able to speak about it gave me a new found strenght.
I feel like all of my answers will be similar because bringing Freddie into the world this year has obviously been the largest milestone that can happen! I grew a human in my body and then had myself slices open and him pulled out. Every decision seems more important, every good thing is better and every bad thing is better too. He makes my life feel the best its ever felt.
My son rang the bell, ending 3 1/2 years of treatment. May we never hear the words leukemia and my son in the same sentence again. We are officially at the other end of that long dark tunnel. In 1 1/2 years, it will be unlikely to return. I have learned to live in the moment, grateful for what I do have, to enjoy what is and not destroy it with what if’s. My son, his girlfriend, myself with my guy, went to see/ meet my mother in Germany. Frank really enjoyed his first time abroad or even on an airplane! He was such a pleasure to travel with, which meant a lot to me. We had a great time. I have a problem believing a good healthy relationship can really be a part of my life. My son has grown close to his girlfriend and has separated from me even more, but I guess this is what happens. I miss our intense conversations where we had each other’s undivided attention, but I can see this girl loves him, so I am grateful. He is healthy, so that is everything!
my brother-in-law's slightly older brother passed away unexpectedly this year, and caused a tidal wave of shock for my sister's family, a reminder that we're "all getting up there" when a serious illness or death can surprise you. there's no preparation for the grief, but there are always things that can be done now to alleviate personal and financial problems later.
We had two-under-two for most of the year. It has been hard and stressful but so rewarding. I truly believe that my children will be close to each other and benefit from having such a tight bond. I feel bruised at the moment from being stretched so far.
Two major milestones happened. The first was my father getting a job. It was almost a year and a half and it really took its toll on my family. We learned how lucky we were and how we shouldn’t take anything for granted. Him getting a job alleviated me of a lot of anxiety I had about my family’s financial situation and just general worry we all shared. Another milestone was my sister’s bat mitzvah. It was so amazing to see how much she’s grown up. Even though I don’t make it so obvious all the time, I realized from this event how much I love her and how she’s my best friend and I couldn’t live my life without her.
My daughter got engaged to be married. It made me grateful and proud to hear she will raise kids Jewish. My mother turned 90. I was inspired by her and wrote a poem. I was saddened to leave her which was a major factor in deciding to retire.
Rachel moved to San Diego in October. I have missed her a lot and found that I feel less involved in both children’s lives. We went to make changes that incentivize growth and lead to new adventures. But at the same time it is a challenge to change routines and a loss of tradition.
I "re-came out" to my parents in February after 15 years of only dating men. (My first attempt at coming out, in high school, had not gone particularly well, and so I just never brought it up again.) This year I started seeing a wonderful woman whom I love, Leah, and when it was looking like it might be serious I felt like I owed them the truth. I dreaded that conversation and put it off as long as I could stand. But I realized that keeping the secret subconsciously meant that I just wasn't talking to my parents at all, which was not okay. I worked up the courage to speak, figuring it would go one of two ways--either they'd still be confused and hostile, like before, or they'd say they loved me and wanted me to be happy. Fortunately for all of us, it was the latter. I brought my girlfriend Leah home for a week at the beginning of the summer so she could meet my parents and sisters--and it all felt so normal and unremarkable. I try not to blame myself for all the "lost years" when I felt unable to own my queerness.
I think I just finally really really love and appreciate my parents. I really missed them at school and when I go home I feel like I can actually hang with them, like playing soccer with dad or going to the Color Factory with mom. It's especially improved with my mother, I think that was a big thing this year. I also think a larger thing is how close I've gotten independently with my extended family, like with Neila/Grandpa and Nicole. I really love having my family at school and that shows in crying at thanksgiving haha
My sister seems to be in a well paid and consistent job. It's finally taken off a bit of pressure from me to be overly modest about my employment achievements and success.
I have no family. Thanks for reminding me.
We joined the middle class. We were practically there when I bought my first car a couple years ago, after getting my first drivers license in my mid 40s. It was nice to be able to be that mom who could drive my kiddo to Saturday morning rehearsals or drive someone else home. Once I got a full time position with the DOE, that sealed it, if I could just not be broken down by the position, and getting a local, better school position means I have the money we need to pay for my daughter to go to college! What a relief. Big move from 14 1/2 years ago, leaving an abusive marriage, returning to college and living haphazardly on the cheap. I wish I could have provided a more simple, comfortable life for my daughter before now, but am grateful to be able to do it now.
Dad died. I didn't go see him when I knew he was dying, and I didn't want to go to his funeral. I just wanted to be done with him and all of the emotions that come up in me when I think of our relationship. Right this minute I'm thinking that I need to let him rest in peace, and by that I mean I don't need to keep digging him up and examining him or our relationship. As much as I hate this saying it's true: It was what it was. I don't have to carry it around with me anymore.
Seeing Allison become a mother (among other things) made it clear to me that I don't want a third baby. That feels like a big deal. I can move forward savoring the two I have.
We actually didn't have any major milestones. One notable thing is of course the kids are a year older. Nolan just turned 7 (yesterday) and is in grade 2. Being in kindergarten felt like he was still a little kid. He's a boy now. This makes me feel like time is slipping away - I feel like I have a narrow window to create a close relationship with him and already it feels like it's closing quickly. It makes me want to connect and bond with both him and Paige even more. I realize I have to be careful with our father/son, coach/player relationship - I think the want to coach him will have a negative impact. I want to be able to help and guide, but I understand how that can feel like criticism and make him defensive. I have to work on being more positive and quieting that urge to coach him. I'll also try to discuss how he feels about it - maybe we can find a happy medium.
There have been a number of milestone events - one son turned 30 and the other one 40. This is a shock to our system and a reminder of how many years we have lived on this earth and how fast the time has gone by. We bought a house in Seattle with our daughter nine months ago. Ideally, we would have wanted to do so once she had her feet more solidly on the ground - getting fully settled in Seattle and moving on to a job she likes. However, it was clear to us that if we did not make this decision when we did, our window of opportunity for finding a house in a safe neighborhood would pass. I am thankful that we were in the position to help our daughter with this, grateful to my husband for working so hard to make this financially possible, and happy that we get to see how our money can be used to help our daughter while we are alive. My husband just retired a few months ago, after a process of two years. I don't know yet how this will affect me. I am saddened that his need/desire to be in Hawaii conflicts with my desire to have him around more and get to spend time with him. I am happy for his sake that he does not have to stress about work in an organization that is in transition and whose values don't presently align with his. I was very moved by the party that his team organized for him a week ago. He clearly leaves behind quite a legacy and I feel better about the absence his work caused when I realize that he was leading not only with his brain but also with his heart.
My mom died. It has changed everything. Christmas, holidays, vacations, all are different. Do I still go to her house if she doesn't live there?
The biggest milestone is the birth of our son, which has really shifted my perspective on a lot of things, but one of them is how I define my family. Before family meant my parents and siblings, but now when I think of family my first thought goes to my husband, son, and dog. My mom and siblings are still family, of course, but they are no longer the center of my family life. The death of my dad and deterioration of my mom's mental health has really removed the center stone of what I saw as "my family" before. Now the center stone is on me and my little family. But while the focus has shifted for me the circle has also grown wider. Now family means not just my mom and siblings, but Joe's parents and siblings, too.
I think there are two big milestones: One, it has been major for me to change the people to whom "my family" refers. The default picture in my head has been my family of origin and it has taken some time to adjust my picture to the family that my husband and I have been given. Two, my three year old started sleeping through the night in January. Game changer. I know it has been life changing for all of us.
David became a man in August. At least that's what his dad's tradition intends. We gleefully celebrated his bizarre-mitvah. For two weeks.
Well I turned 50 last year. Overall, sure, glad to be here. Little weird thinking I'm that age. At 49 I was diagnosed with diabetes, this past year (thanks to better insurance) I've been seeing a lot of specialists and really getting a better handle on it. (I had testicular cancer at 24 and 30, so this isn't that hard to handle - just need to find the right answers and do the best I can every day.)
Both my grandparents dying sucked. Especially when grandpa died because I was going to see him that day. But seeing what he meant to people really was cool, like when Calvin lowered their flag to half mast. Then grandma because it just added to the craziness of leaving that week. But going through losing a love one I think gave me a lot of perspective for others who go through the same thing
Mother went on hospice after some hospitalizations. She wants to die. She's off her major meds. But in August, she was taken off hospice because she's doing well, physically. It has made me think about how I want to be when I'm old. I can't guarantee I won't be like her, but she is really my inspiration to be different. I'm a different person than she is to begin with, so I'm confidence I won't be.
I helped send my sister to study abroad in Peru. It was a costly trip, around $4000 total, and this is on top of the $4000 I spent for my sweetheart and I to go to to Japan. The burden of debt has been weighing on me, but it is worth it to me to have my sister experience such as wonderful trip.
My grandpa from my fathers side passed away really suddenly. Well, we knew he had cancer and would die eventually, but in the end he died because of a pneunomia that went really bad, really fast. We also learned that two of my uncles have cancer as well. One of them terminally. That really makes you value life and your health more. I need to take better care of this body, it's the only one I've got.
The death of my father in early August, age 80. I was there for the final few hours of his life but he was unconscious. I don't know that he knew he was there. It's been hard, but not for why I thought it might be. It wasn't a shock - he had had a series of strokes in the preceding weeks. What was a shock though was my lack of grief. Of course I'm sad but I haven't mourned him. We never had a particularly close relationship, only seeing each other once or twice a year. But what has been had is hearing what a kind and gentle man everyone thought he was - it just does not reconcile to the man I was terrified of as a kid. Perhaps the grief will come later.
We were able to move from renting to owning our own home. Now we have a place that is ours and can paint and fix up a yard that is just ours. It has made things more certain for us and our future.
Going back to CA this May 17-28 was the first time my mom and I managed to last so many days without a fight. She even let me cook in her kitchen (even though she couldn't watch and had to run upstairs) - and liked the mango salsa salmon with mashed potatoes so much she said I was ready to be a wife. This was my last time visiting home as a single daughter, since I got married in August. She didn't get mad til Memorial Day, the day I left, because we rushed her to go walk around Nile and so she stayed in the car while my dad and I did a quick ten minute lap and then got reamed out during a miserable Fairwood dinner. But hey still better than last time when I refused to go down to eat dinner four days in.
A. Poppa's passing - I was relieved that he was out of suffering and felt awake to watching someone's demise; witnessing death without running away from it. B. Mom's double mastectomy - I was proud that I was able to reciprocate the support that she provided me during my recovery from brain surgery. It felt like we closed a karmic loop between us. C. Abba's transparency around his polyamory - for the first time in my adult life, my father has brought both his partners together to meet face to face. I am glad that the three players in this triangle are finally able to face the truth of their situation fully. Although it didn't provide relief from the years of stress and lies that I felt rested on my shoulder 'to keep,' I'm glad we're getting to a place as a family where his affairs are not shrouded in secrecy. It only took 15 years! D. Not traditional family, but my chosen family of girls from home had four babies in four-ish months this year. Lauren, Jazzy, Alexis and Rebecca (next month). Each pregnancy & labor was its own unique story with intense ups and downs that made me feel far away. Lauren's labor in particular was painful since I was unaware of what was happening and knew she had lost blood, was in the ICU and couldn't get clarity on if her health was at risk. There is a slight disappointment that their life tracks are operating on a different timeline that mine. All their kids will be the same ages, which will be nice for maintaining closeness. However, I'm happy with where I'm at in my life and not wishing to rush into creating a family when I'm consumed with my health, recovery and work.
I went to college and it has been rough and up and down but mostly really positive for me.
mom moved into the health center. A relief in a way because I know she feels (and is) physically safer. Easier to find her :). Grateful she is well-cared for. Sad. Worried about my own future care.
We didn't have any family weddings, or milestone birthdays, or luckily any funerals this past year. Thanksgiving was one to remember. I was at the kids' table, at age 37, and had so much fun with my cousins. I always get anxious when Henry isn't around for holidays, but this I was able to relax and not be "mom" and have fun with our goofy game of alphabet and an intense game of charades, and so much laughter.
I consider it a major milestone that I have finally manifested my intention to my current partner's parents by paying my first visit to their home. Having brought along my "daughters" to meet her may also be regarded as a related milestone in our 4-year relationship. At the same time, this has also triggered uncertainty in her about the worth of persevering in this relationship, more so with my own lack of direction owing to my dissatisfaction with my current employment as a basic education teacher working for the State.
Due to the breakup between my brother and his then-GF,, I haven't seen my nephew (now 18 months) since he was three days old. This hurts. I also still miss the relatives I'm estranged from - though they made their choices. I wish I was closer to everyone.
My brother moved up north, so we now see him even less than we did before. We had been seeing him less with his work, but now I just miss him more as its even less frequent that I get to spend time with him now too.
I guess I’m pretty content either that or I’m too hungover to remember the pay year. I think the former and a tony bit of the latter.
I guess I am repeating question 1.... My second son was born. Juan. He made me reflect on parenthood, on life/work balance, and on how to leave our kids a legacy... how to pass on to them our moral values, our history etc.
Jacques' passing. Added to Dad's passing, that was super rough. I think about death all the time, and impermanence and clinging. I am sure I cling to Mom. The passing of 2 close family members makes me realize I have entered the sucky part of life that is being old.
My daughter cheated on her beloved. Both a stupid and important thing. Was amazing to accompany her growth in and around this. Saw great harvest from all of the teaching I have shared with her. Saw her astonishing growth. Very powerful.
The whole family is working now. Kids at school and parents with jobs. It feels weird and I know it's a milestone, but I don't know how I feel about it. We live in a relatively small community, and I work with kids. So my path is bound to cross with my kids as they grow up. I think it will take some re-framing of our roles, especially as the kids become teenagers. They are going to have to separate mom as a professional from mom at home. And I am going to have to learn what our boundaries should be so I don't overstep but can still be me.
This is going to be ever-present in my answers this year, but our first baby was born. The birth was such a traumatic event, but then we've had this amazing baby. This amazing baby, who was so lovely and so incredibly boring as a newborn. I let myself off the hook with a lot of "shoulds" about how I was behaving (surprising and good!), I've found even more trust and support and love in my marriage than I thought possible, and it's made me much more aware of the expanse of time that our lives cover. I'm trying to figure out who I want to be as a mother.
Buying our new house has been incredibly stressful for me. It's affected me in so many ways, but I am most disappointed by how it's influenced my interaction with my family. This should have been a joyful time, but instead it was largely one of anger and frustration. I need to allow myself to let go a little more and to worry less. I think the new house will be a great place for the kids to grow through the second half of their childhoods. I hope I can improve my personal ability to manage stress so I am a source of happy memories for them.
My cousin has started introducing his boyfriend to members of our extended family. It marks the first publicly gay relationship in the chronology of our expansive family tree. And our family's reception has been kind--thrilled, even. It gives me hope for the time I make those "rounds" myself, some day.
I think what's important with my family is that Chris and I are now slowly becoming our own little family. We are planning our future and are thinking about having children in the next years and becoming a real perfect family. I'm really looking forward to experiencing that with Chris.
My parent's 30th wedding anniversary was this August. It's really special to see two people who have worked so hard to be great parents and have stayed together through 30 years of ups and downs. I'm inspired, and hopeful to have a marriage like theirs someday.
Because of all the stuff that has happened with my husband this year, I really have no idea what is going to happen with my relationship. I’m not even entirely sure how committed I am to it. I’ve never felt more terrible about myself than I have these past few months, and I’ve never been more honest than I have been, or felt as raw and as willing to lose everything. I don’t quite know what this all means or how things will shake out, but I also feel at ease with the uncertainty in a way that has surprised me.
We celebrated our fifth anniversary. I wouldn't say that the honeymoon is over, just that we have become comfortable and a little complacent. It's hard to resist bad, familiar habits and form new, good habits.
This past year, I raised a child with my husband and he turned a year old. I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around this. The time has flown so quickly. He went from a tiny newborn to a person in the blink of an eye. It has affected me in that everything I do is for him. Our worlds and choices revolve around him. I have learned so much about myself and what really matters because he puts things in perspective. I have learned about love and I have learned to become a little more comfortable about letting go of things I have no control over. I’m still learning everyday.
My wife left me. My brother found a true partner. My parents danced. Hurt. Grateful. Hopeful.
My siblings, all nine of us plus one, managed to have a simply wonderful reunion and celebration of my sister’smarriage to her lovely partner. Over the course of 5 days we had great fun and no arguments even though we have some wildly different political views. Love won out❣️
My aunt hasn’t been well, which is hard. Makes us stressed and sad. I love her to pieces. She’s amazing. Then we had to separate her and her husband from one another. That’s caused things to be on my mom’s shoulders more than she wanted things to be. And, My mom is turning 80 in January, so we’re all going on vacation together. And, Stella has gone to college. Small milestone is that my sisters may have bought a house next door to my mom’s cottage.
Holy shit. My sister moved in with me from NYC where she was a meth addict. It was so fucking hard. It strained our relationship, my relationship with my partner, and even friends in the area I live in. My sister is not a nice person. I let her stay with me too long, and she wpund up homeless for awhile when my partner kicked her out. She's now staying with my dad I. NE, AND I am terrified for a few months from now, when her usual blowups happen. I am empathetic to her, as I am working through a bunch of issues from my childhood, and I know she had it much worse. It has taught me boundaries. That I do not deserve to be treated that way by anybody, no matter their relation to me. It weighs heavy on my heart, and I constantly go back and forth between anger and forgiveness and annoyance. I hope to be further along the thought process of it by next year. I also hope that I can read this, and be wrong about Emily having a blowup. I really want her to get better.
Each member of my immediate family took big steps in their career this year. My father closed two major acquisitions for his firm; my mother joined the board of a nonprofit organization; my brother passed his Step 1 medical school exam; and my sister completed her first year of physical therapy school. I'm proud of each of them and can't wait to see how they further realize their dreams and improve our world this year.
15 years marriage. 20 years together. I love this man. I don't know where I'd be without him.
Finally coming out to my parents about my relationship with Rahul, introducing him to them and having the talk about the steps we're going to take. It scared me a little bit but it's also a big relief. I don't need to pretend anymore, now it's just up to them to accept who I am.
Planning a wedding! It has brought many issues to the surface but also I appreciate the ways my family has supported us!
We've had some health scares and deaths which made me kind of think how I've had some health scares of my own. I've always brushed them off but now I'm wondering if it's some kind of attack or attempt to slow me down or stop me. What am I destined to do?