How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?
have to, have to, have to join the gym and walk and stretch, getting too old to wait anymore
I would like to live in the moment. As cliche as it sounds, I am always planning for the future and in doing so I am waiting for life to begin. I thought by now I would be living in my life. I heard someone say/read something that said all these messy moments where you are waiting for life to get better - those moments are life. While I will always be a planner, I would like to enjoy the moments I have planned rather than worry about the next thing that is coming. My life is pretty good - I just need to stop and enjoy it rather than worrying about what is next and viewing everything as chore.
I would like to be healthier next year. I’m starting small and seeing the results.
Knowing that my kidneys are not working so great, I want to be able to avoid dialysis - I need to eat more of the foods that will help me do this
Don't be afraid of buying in or branching out. It will probably always be a struggle but I'll always try to make it better.
I'm getting better at my money, but I want to be an expert. I want to get out there and meet a bunch of people, whether just for friends or girls or whatever.
I would like to be more active. The best piece of advice I have heard is that "The cows still need to be milked"
Lose weight, eat healthy, stop nighttime binges. Lots of people depend on me. Stop anxiety, which no one sees, somehow someway. So much to be thankful for.
You can make it happen! Put your mind to it, make the time and go for it.
Patience. Stop saying yes to more than you can handle (I know you're a badass and can't handle anything but... seriously). Get abs.
I would like to master Hebrew and also have a short story published. In addition, I would like to finish a couple of scripts I have been working on.
I would to continue loosing weight and take better care of myself. Although you may stumble and fail at times, don't give up. Get up and try again
It's been said again and again by my peers, my professors: I cannot do it alone. I want to become more comfortable and adept at targeting problems - be they political, intellectual, personal, etc. - with the resources, experience, knowledge, input and support of other friends, colleagues and even critics.
Live by the Zorah. Test what is written in The Zorah and see for yourself if it is real, if it works, if it makes sense.
I would like to worry less and be grateful more!! Spend time in silence and find happiness in the moment! Work towards finding enlightenment!
Chill out. You don't have to be busy every minute.
I do not know. Throw things out.
Choose your battles. Be honest, courageous and kind. Get out of bed determined that you will make a difference, and that difference will ripple out. Be your wise one.
Keep savouring the moment rather than looking past it to the next 'thing'. I think subconsciously I have looked ahead in the hope that 'things' will make me happy. However, it was this thinking which was actually inhibiting my ability to find happiness. By all means have targets and goals, but not to dwell on. I have so much to be thankful for.
I would like to hit my target weight. I can't focus on 100 things and expect to do them all well. So, I should focus on few priorities and do them as well as I can.
This year I started taking control of my finances and working on getting my family out of debt. I'm continuing that journey. I don't always agree with his manner, but I've listened to a lot of Dave Ramsey which has helped me get started and kept me motivated. The stories of others who have become debt free are inspiring.
I want to lead my family with greater intentionality. Papa, give me vision for this new season of life. The advice I am seeking to heed is this: Without vision the people perish.
Sama mis eelmine.
Last year answer is the exact answer í want.
The harshest criticism I received this year is that while I have the knowledge and capability at work, I have a self-motivation problem and need to be more of a self-starter. This is true, but it is quite against my nature. So while the criticism/advice/counsel is justified, I'm just not sure how I am going to implement this.
I guess I can hear myself saying to myself (ongoingly), "be in the moment". Don't be quite so earnest about everything.
One piece of advice I got was after I broke up with my ex. My friend of mine said that even though it hurts there will always be another opportunity and a new person to meet.
I want to return to my morning work-out routine, further improve my eating habits and drop the 40 lbs I gained over the last three years. I need to do work my way back up to an hour plus of exercise or else I will start and stop. Always strive!
Totally. 100%. just because i am done with Uni & got my license as a professional, doesn’t mean i need to stop learning. even in simple things we do every single, it’s never the same thing over and over. There’s always something new, something that helps us improve. The piece of advice that i received this year is from my parents. i told them i don’t want to work rather i want to pursue a business on my own. i thought i’d be a disappointment/ caused disappointment to them with my decision BUT like the best parents they are, they said that there is no way i have ever disappoinment them when i had given them their dreams, the dream of me Being a Nurse and i Did. No matter how much i hated it & suffered a minor depression because of it. They told me simply, “It’s Just Flattering titles, you don’t need it, we are already proud of you”. That made my heart full. it’s okay to do other people’s dreams especially my parents. They deserve soooo much more than that from me but that’s all they asked. That made me realize to be contented as well. Whether i liked it or not. What’s meant to be, will be. 💖
I want to be a better mother. I always want to be a better mother. I'm mothering adult children and am doing it without their father, since he died a little over a year ago. I'm not used to going it alone. And the adult children still have needs of me. I need to determine the bounds of what is constructive and what is destructive to use for each of them and for me. I want to face and resolve life without my husband. I've come far, but still have a way to go.
I would like to reach a more healthy weight. I've been working on that the last few months. Good days and bad days. But I keep at it. I'm 62 now, and I believe it's more important than ever to be as healthy as possible so that I stay around as long as possible. I'd also like to find a writing group to join that could push me along to continue to write. Over the years I've kept a couple of journals. They are all gone now, due to moving, a bad relationship, yadda yadda. I'm starting over in many many ways. Writing being one of those issues. If I don't write, I don't feel whole. I don't feel well. I drink more alcohol. Don't exercise. It's all bad. I've had a couple of long talks with a good, trusted friend this last year that have compelled me to look deeper into myself. Trust myself. So I'll exercise everyday, write everyday, read everyday, get outside everyday. Life really is good. It can only get better.
I would like to eat healthier & exercise more. I did very well this year but I need to keep it going for the rest of my life. I feel so much better, you would think it's a no brained to keep this up. But weight is a daily struggle for me. I'm hopeful this time I'm doing it for all the right reasons. I also REALLY need to get my finances and housing sit in order.
I'd like to stick to my intuition more. I question myself and my choices often, but many times, my initial thought is what I go with (or what I should go with). I'd like to help myself feel more comfortable with that.
Keep holding the frequency of peace and joy! It is my only job nothing else. To follow my passion and learn to be in a mode of receiving...receiving information All around me...being open to that guidance. Have deep faith that the man of your dreams is coming and will be there before I know it. Have faith he exaists, have faith enough to wait for him, have faith you will recognize him, have faith the spiritual realm is working to align our meeting. Have faith all things will be restored to me. Believe in my deservabity.
Try harder to be compassionate rather than assign blame.
Become aligned. Create more space for the person I want to be, and for others in my life. I'm entirely unsure at the moment what it is I even want. I 100% wanted to move to New York a month ago. Now, I very much don't want to leave, and while I still am experiencing the misalignment I feel when I returned. New York felt entirely freeing. It also felt like a wonderful escape. But today, I woke up so looking forward to Yom Kippur with such great friends and my family on Saturday. Wherever I am, I'd like to be patient, kind, healthy, strong, loving, and exist in the moment.
I would continue to work on taking things slow, to think before reacting. To take time for the little things in life and be sure to tell the people I love how I feel. I would like to move forward with my career and actually do good for a change. Educate myself and make a difference.
Be honest with myself.
I would like to be a more graceful person. Someone who bestows grace upon others more freely. I'd like to be kinder to myself. The best advice I've gotten this year so far is "good enough is good enough." Even though I can get behind self-love mantras that as a woman I am good enough and to believe in myself and I would easily espouse these maxims to my own daughters, I don't believe them for myself and certainly don't carry them out in daily practice. I would really like to get to a place where I give myself some room to make mistakes and in turn, allow others the same space.
So many ways to answer this. I'd like to continue working on living without the buffer of the deeply rooted artifice that I have relied on to keep me safe and less vulnerable but which no longer serves me. I want to be more mindful of my way of communicating -- of how I often interrupt and react rather than being fully present for the other person. I want to continue to direct lovingkindness towards myself and to practice loving awareness and equanimity whenever I can. I want to continue to read and learn about Buddhist psychology and to work with Marianne to become more embodied and grounded, less subject to the story teller/fixer.
Would like to reduce debt; want to clear up Visa cards and reduce student loan amount (currently about $24,000) and mortgage (currently about $164,000). Want to keep apartment cleaner and less cluttered. The only advice I received was to contact a job coach, which I've done. A year from now, I hope that will prove to be money well spent. Looking at answer from last year, I said I wanted to spend money more on work clothing than on travel. I think I've managed to do that this year. Haven't spent tons of money, but did get a new suit and a few other pieces.
Same as every year (yet to quite achieve this), I want to loose weight and tone up. I am actually quite happy with my fitness level but I would like to be in better shape and for clothes to fit better. The main thing I need to do is eat a little better (less snacking on sweet things) and reduce portion sizes. So I really hope I can properly do it in the next year. I also want to worry less and overthink less! Often I think I make situations worse in my head because of this. Especially when it comes to men! Its a hard mentality to change and I don't think it will happen in a year but I am hoping to make small improvements. I remember mum always says, you cant change someones actions but you can change your reaction. I'd like to take that on for the next year.
I am getting ready for retirement (16 months). This is a milestone that has been on my mind for 46 years... ever since I graduated high school. Our two boys have graduated university, they have good jobs and I am pleased to add were given a good education growing up to stand on their own two feet. We have investments, a retirement plan. I am starting to work out again and get healthier. I have outside of work interests and want to continue coaching for 11 more years (We will see).
if you have a gift - nourish it ... learn more music and publically give it away
Slow down. Enjoy the time you have. Laugh more. Give more. Spend more time with those I love. Practice more self-care and self-love. Appreciate the good in others.
I would like to feel content and grounded. Routine healthly living makes me feel good and it will be a focus for me. It seems to be the catalyst for all other things in my world.
Fewer drugs and better at eating in moderation
I still tend to react emotionally to certian situatuons. Particualrly ethical ones. Even if i dont show that externally, internally the emotion guides my process. I dont know that i want to change this aspevt of myself as much as i wpuld like to accept it as a part of me. We are so often taught that emotion is bad, especially in business. But the older i get the more i realize those gut feelings and those emotions matter. If anything i would like to stop reacting emotionally and start acting from a place of emotion, namely love instead of fear.
Still trying to make what I wrote last year happen.
I would love to feel more secure about wherever I am and wherever I'm heading. That seems like an arbitrary goal, but it's important to me to find meaning in what I'm doing and to accept that it was okay to break away from my original plan and try new things. My mentor told me this year, "some years are for questions and some years are for answers." So. I didn't get many answers in this past year. But that's okay! I'm making my way and learning new things. And, if anything, I'm figuring out what I DON'T want...and that should count for something. I've been to focused on honing my passions and finding a job or position or organization that could meet those interests...but I'm slowly learning that maybe this is not the best approach to figuring out life. Passion is not a plan...passion is a feeling. And feelings change. So maybe, instead, I need to find meaning in whatever I'm doing this year and let myself feel passionate about it...even if it scares me. Even if it feels like a step in the wrong direction. Even if it goes against what I think might be expected from me. It's okay for me to enjoy what I'm doing, even if it's temporary. I need to allow myself to fully believe that and feel more at peace with the course my life is following. Things will fall into place. I know I have time. But it will be nice to feel secure in my decisions, ideas, opinions, actions. Gotta start somewhere.
Have the conviction to go after the things I want. I think I've spoken about it enough and now I the time to action. Similar to the last question, I want to look back on this time next year and be proud of a courageous decision I made. No guidance except for the fact that I know I'll regret the riskier things I didn't have the balls to do vs. safer things I walked away from.
OK, I am going to put it out there - write a book and speak on it -yikes!!!!! Love and accept yourself, follow your calling
I would like to let go of the competition nonsense that floats through my head. Practicing Asetya (non-stealing) on a daily basis, sometimes minute to minute basis, will help me to release the voices of not measuring up to unrealistic standards. I realized that I clench my jaw so much so that I am experiencing bone loss in my teeth. I believe that this is linked to my constant internal struggle of not measuring up. Complete trust and acceptance that I am exacting who I am meant to be.
The past year has been full of rage, an entirely new experience for me. It's a healthy move, and yet I'm only slowly learning how to manage it in my personal life. 52 years of rarely standing up for myself have not prepared me well for managing my suddenly angry responses. I feel as if I'm learning skills I should have learned as a 3 year old. The best advice from this year comes from Teepa Snow, who educates caregivers for folks with Alzheimer's and dementia: "Stop. Take a deep breath. Smile."
Wow--last year's advice still applies. "Breathe." Yes, breathe. Life is heating up again. I also just read that I shouldn't worry because (and I'm paraphrasing because the author said this more eloquently) I can't change the past and I can't predict the future. So worrying about either is futile. Huh. Maybe that was more eloquent than the original. Who knew. Get back to mindfulness and paying attention to one thing at a time is timely right now. I should take my own advice.
I want to really lean into my mussar studies, which should help me improve myself significantly. I want to really get into mussar and other texts. More importantly, I want to begin engaging with others who need support, a friendly face, a meal, etc.
Do not take anything personally. People's words and verbal thoughts do not translate to my reality and what is true for me. That is on them, and I cannot take their words personally. Let it go and I will have peace. Do not react to their words.
It's still discapline and organisation. I'm obviously not so good at taking advice.
I'd like to quit hiding with my demons and shame factors to become a happier, healthier person.
I say this every year, but to be better at talking to people, and have closer frienships. I have made improvments this year, but so not where I'd like to be.
I would like to become more introspective, and regularly reflect on my feelings and my goals in an intentional, authentic way. I want to find a career path that aligns with my strengths, values, and interests. I also want to stop using avoidance as a coping mechanism, and stop letting fear of failure or concern about how others perceive me hold me back from pursuing fulfillment.
my patience, and have my own car,the advise was to be patice and worck hard
I would like tow rok on my self-awareness and emotional intelligence this year. I often don't know how to read what's happening in a room or how to react and I feel this is really important.
I want my health back. I want the reflection I see in the mirror to reflect what I know is inside. I want success in the things that matter to me. I want confidence. I want love. I want financial freedom. I want to be involved in things that matter. I want to create. I want to do work I care about, with people who inspire me. I want the life I had planned for myself from the beginning, but that I allowed to slip past me. I want tenacity, and I don't want to give a fuck what the naysayers think and say. I want to go for what I want and win. My therapist said to me, "Perhaps you are not the problem. Perhaps it's the world." I agree. but I think it's because I have hung around to those who are not only unsupportive of me, but who are WHOLLY subpar for far too long. And I refuse to let them tell me who I am, and what I can accomplish any longer. I will love myself, and be kind to myself, and protect myself. And I will go for it.
I need to be better organized. It is really hard having this many balls up in the air. I need to shed the things that I don't have time/energy for, and use better time management and organizing skills to handle the many balls I keep juggling.
Stay more focused on bettering my lot in life and not bother with the trivial
I'd like to be more comfortable balancing the multiple roles I play in people's lives. They are; friend boyfriend brother son grandson work colleagues Not for profit lay leader. There is a lot going on there. All of which I love.
I want to be much kinder. Kinder and much more empathetic. I m unkind to my mom sometimes because I get frustrated. I need to put myself in her shoes and see things from her perspective. It's sad that we treat a complete stranger better sometimes than the people we love. I love you Mom! I promise to try so much harder!
I want to work more on saying what I want (in all areas of life) to my partner. I think I hold back because I'm afraid of overwhelming him with my emotion, or because I'm afraid he'll say no to whatever I'm asking. Really though, I just need to put myself out there. I also want to continue my Jewish learning more. The kids and I have found a shul that seems to be a good fit, and I would like us to get into a practice of attending Shabbat services at least once a month.
I want to improve my health next year, partially by probably having my right knee replaced, and working hard to improve my flexibility in my joints through stretching and maybe yoga. I also still want to be active n my investing certain IRA money, and also deal with selling my Brother's gun collection and whatever I will receive from his estate. Since we are not moving to Florida now, I may want to improve our home, with either a garage, or extend the back yard patio and new stairway, and plug up the side wall opening.
Taking deep-breathing exercise and having a regular schedule to organize better part of self. :)
I would like to be a better friend in the new year. I need to connect more frequently and plan more ways for us to get together. I need to be more proactive to stay in touch with friends from out-of-town. I recently read an article about empathy, and healthy boundaries. It helped me to accept my reactions to bad events- sometimes, I listen and let go, sometimes I get depressed for days and sometimes, I am spurred to act. In any case, I do not need to feel guilty or helpless.
I would like to improve myself by acting on what I know is good for me. Whether it is cutting out relationships that are bad for me or following through on ideas such as embarking on retraining as a counsellor, I want to do what is actually good for me with real action and not just talk about things. I am excellent at being creative and generating ideas. I'm not as good at the logistics and follow through. I would like to work on that but in a mindful, healthy way.
Get a professional identity and cover my costs.
I would like to improve my life balance. I claim to have no energy at the end of the work day, and so I just become a slug and watch Netflix/YouTube on the couch, and then have trouble sleeping. I need to remind myself that having no energy should give me space to read and write more, and cook more, and, once my energy is up a little more, exercise more.
I'd like to not be so consumed with who I'm going to be with and worrying about finding the right one and really focus on myself and my work and trust that it will happen when it's meant to. I've put too much worry into hoping I'll find a partner and losing sight of what's more important to me in the process. Remember this quote: "Somewhere along the way, I became ok with being alone and the further I go into this solitude, the more resistant I am to leave it behind. Not to say there aren't times I don't feel the whisper of loneliness on my neck, because I do. But I know it'll pass and that alone doesn't justify having someone, at least not to me. I've reached a place where I'm not interested in anything less than absolutely fucking amazing. Because anything less than that and I'd rather be alone".
Only advice I receive is the inspirational quotes and such I see online. How pathetic is my life??
I want to be a better person. I want to be more patient. I want to learn more about my hobbies. I want to be a better partner and parent. Keep moving forward. Everyone messes up. If you focus on the mistakes, you will never see your progress. Just pick yourself up and keep moving forward. Keep trying.
Life is short - you must do what makes you happy and fills you with life. Don't follow what everyone else is doing. Ever since I've become a litigation paralegal working at a Big Law firm, it has become increasingly clear to me that I don't take conventional paths. And neither should I feel the need to.
I have a "getting shit done" list on my wall, but it's time to get even healthier. I've been so loose with myself. In hindsight, every step of my life has been somewhat marred by a lack of discipline. Look here! I didn't even take time to write an answer to today's question last year. DISCIPLINE THYSELF. READ THE GETTING SHIT DONE LIST. Continue to grow a thicker skin with your parents. Enjoy your family.
"In vivo" practice dulls the PTSD hologram. With G-d's help I can ride out the adrenal fear fueled wall to be able to honor my self-care needs and hit my daily marks. If I do it everyday, the hologram fades and does not rule my life.
Don't Give Up! I really would like to find some more inner peace so I will be a more patient mother and daughter. Not sure how to go about that but it's what I'm always striving for.
I would like to be less lazy, and involve our son in a lot of activities to be busy, as he grows and gets older.
This sound akin to New Year's resolutions, but here it goes: 1) spend less time on the computer and more time at concerts and dances; 2) start playing the guitar again; 3) read more paper books; 4) cook more; 5) run a 10K in less time than my age; 6) spend more time with family and friends
I think I might stop looking at the world, at the country, at the state, at the county. And just look no farther than the end of my nose. At my work, my house, my family, my dog. Pretending the rest doesn't exist may be stupid, but perhaps I would be happier.
I would like to work to improve my self confidence. I have spent so much of my life doubting myself and now that I am starting to become proud of myself it feels weird. I want to be able to feel the confidence that I show. The last year I have grown closer to that goal and have become closer friends with people who believe in me. It helps being surrounded by cheerleaders.
You are not your job. You can create something work on that this year. You can do anything you put your mind to. Put your mind to something.
Try to live more in the moment, release expectations. Take better care of my surroundings? I really don't find this question very thought-provoking because I think life is a process that ebbs and flows, we learn from our mistakes, we learn from our successes. If you are blessed, you have people in your life who are available for counsel when you need it, or, when you don't. The challenge is paying attention.
Get even more Zen & minimalist.
I would like to learn to be more tolerant of the ignorant..
Try to fully retire and follow my fathers advice. "You don't want to be the richest man in the cemetery".
Last night I was asked, "What else do you need to reclaim?" I was talking about my extreme, black & white reactions to my upbringing. I realized that I made such a concerted effort to be unlike my mother that I nearly lost the rich heritage with which I'd been raised. Because it didn't seem to make her happy, I decided to forfeit it. The same with my experience at Yale. I was so young that I judged the incredible, faithful people there as not having "answers" to my many questions. I went the opposite direction from that rich opportunity as well. Slowly, slowly I've been reclaiming various parts of me that I had abandoned or squelched. So may 5778 be a year of redemption and reclamation of all the good that was given to me.
I would like to hide from life less. I kill a lot of time, and some of that is necessary self care. But some of it is that life feels oppressive and demanding, and I feel like if I get up and do I'll be sucked in and never get to be myself again. The advice that seems to go with this is from Desiderata -- "You are a child of the universe, no less than the tress and stars. You have the right to be here."
I want to be able to focus on myself and be the best version of me that I can. I want to focus on improving my life, getting good grades, and joining things that interest me. I've focused so much on making sure others were happy, it is time to start focusing on me and making me better. In the past year, I lived by the saying be the change you want to see. If I want to see something happen, I will get it done and I will be sure to leave an impact on someone or something.
I want to meditate twice a day, and to be more mindful during the day. To notice when I'm adding to my own stress by creating stories in my head instead of being in the Here and Now. When I want to keep it simple, I meditate: Breath in: Here, Breathe out: Now. Or add the Hebrew word, "Hineni," meaning here I am. Based on my own theme for the Days of Awe ("I am not for myself who will be for me?" etc.), I would like to find more balance by taking care of myself and nurturing myself better. Hmmm, that's what I wrote last year.
I would like to take more chances, put myself in situations that feel uncomfortable, be more open to adventure
The biggest piece of advice I can give myself is to stay off of Facebook. I have found that I am most concentrated and focused when I turn off the technology and sit down to do my writing. In addition to that advice, be careful and listen to the body. I didn;t and fell this year and broke my wrist. It was stupid. Listen to the body. Drink less wine!!!
I would like to get healthier. I'm comfortable with my body at this point, but I know that my cardiovascular health and cholesterol could be dramatically improved. Muscle tone is always good too! As a behavior analyst, I absolutely know HOW to get this done... it's just hard to intervene upon one's own behavior, and loved ones aren't always great contingency managers. I need to work with someone with the same goal so that we can keep each other on track.
I would like to continue getting centered and serene. My 12-Step program helps me as well as the daily morning practice which includes reading from a few sources and meditation. I will have made some amends by this time next year, if not in the next couple/few months. I look forward to being on the other side of it. As I've written earlier, I'd like to have my memoire and/or play/musical completed by this time next year...a solid draft would suffice.
My colleague told me that he's not doing goals anymore, but values. I made some and I need to remember to stick to them in everything I do: be kind, be grateful, and sing out!
Once again, I'd like to find my drive to exercise. I'd like to start saving some money, instead of living paycheck to paycheck. We make enough money to do that, at least once the wedding is paid for, but unless we set goals, we fritter our extra cash away. Additionally, I'd like to be the best partner and husband I can be. Joe Biden told me that we "have to choose each other, first thing, every morning" and I've been trying to do that, every day right when I wake up. Relationships aren't always rainbows and sunshine, but if we can keep sight of what matters, we'll always get through it together.
Thoughts are just thoughts. They aren't reality.
not really. I know what I need to do... just one step in front of the other.
I still want to be able to handle my emotions better. It's more important and all the more difficult with the kiddos involved. I'd like to meditate daily and be more in the present than worrying about the past or the future.
Do more things just because they make me happy
It's always the same advice, but maybe with a little different twist. I need to take more rest in between, to BE, and now I know perhaps I need to do one thing at a time to completion, rather than multi-task, Good luck with THAT, Laurie
Be less obsessed with productivity. All those things that I want to do- write, garden, have friends for dinner, read a book... I often skip them because I think I need to get other things done. What is the point of being so constantly productive if we don't take time to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Simple advice this year: smell the roses! Don't just plant abs water and weed them.
One piece of advice I learned at camp is that you do not always need to be "on", but when you are, make sure you really are. I want to continue working on being present and giving things my all, it's not worth it to half-ass things.
I would love to live my most authentic, true-to-me, being myself life. I want to be honest, open, and loving. I want to be happy and healthy. I want to be at peace. I welcome serenity in this next year. My guide is my 12 step program. I want to be a connected parent. I want to be true to myself, and live honestly, joyously, happily, and freely.
I would try to be more patient with friends and family. I would try not to be so disorganized and harried. I would try to be more understanding of others and their needs. I need to think about my future , My husband, and our families. As we age, things become more difficult and I need to consider where we want to be and what our needs are
I want to be able to trust and confide in myself to take me further in any goal, fantasy or object I desire. I want to be someone I can be completely happy with and project that in a partner.
I want to be more boldly who I am, to inhabit myself more fully and confidently.
Get more organized so I can do more of the creative things I want to do...
I would like to feel more peace within. So much turmoil, pain, judgement in the world, sometimes it seems that we're not moving forward in our journey, but backward. Our differences can help us grow if we'll listen, really listen, and not necessarily argue back. There is always room for a "third way".
I would like to pass the SHRM-CP (maybe SCP too). I'd also like to cleanse and improve my overall health that way.
In the next year, I would like to improve myself by taking time for self care. I want to take time for me. I often spend so much time taking care of others, that I forget about myself. My therapist insists that part of self-care includes getting enough sleep, an area that I am highly lacking in. So, maybe I'll try that area.
I still need to work on the coveting thing, though admittedly it's better. I am more at peace with what I have, and feel less attached / desirous of "stuff" than I used to. I think part of that is getting older, and part of it just plain exhaustion....always being in "wanting" mode can wipe a person out! :-) Another part of this is due to losing my dad. What's the point of all the stuff anyway? The other area I'm working to improve is letting my kids go / grow up. It's harder with Nick than it is with Lily, because Nick has so many issues. His mental health challenges in particular make it hard for me to "let go" and force him to stand on his own. He's not capable, and I worry that I'm enabling him.
I feel like I just need to remember that my life is really good. It's full of privileges and opportunities that I sometimes don't even recognize because I'm too busy trying to get to the next thing. I guess more than anything I just want to be able to look at my life in perspective and realize how good I have it.
There are a few key areas: I want to have more consistent, meaningful experiences as a husband and father. Specifically, having meaningful conversations with the kids when I put them to bed each night, great outings to museums and enriching places, and consistent FHE and time spent with Sheena. I'd like to become better at engaging people interpersonally. I think relationships are the most meaningful aspects of most of our day-to-day endeavors. Professionally, I want to develop expertise in motion design and web development. "If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men and women to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."
By next year I would like to be out of credit card debt. If not 100% debt free, pretty darn close. Right now I have about 9.5K in credit card debt. Tomorrow is class #2 of Dave Ramsey's FPU course. I hope I stick to this program. Once I am debt free I can start building on my future.
I need to address problems sooner. While clearing up my clutter and the flood of emails, I need to stay on top of events as they unroll. That and taking time to pull away and be in nature. Really making work-life balance.
I am excited to continue the healthy exercise and eating patterns that I managed to start last year. Thanks to my husband's incentive to lose weight and get in shape, I have also bought into the exercise/healthy eating way of life.
In the next year I would like to improve myself and my life by living fearlessly. I believe I am deterred and setback because I get scared and want to be in my comfort zone; a comfort zone that is detrimental to my success and happiness. With no preparation or fitness regimen I participated in a 5 mile obstacle course race this year. At the last obstacle the facilitator advised and encouraged us to "just keep running." The temptation was at a certain point to stop running and depend on those above to catch you but, those that did best just focused on running up the incline only seeking help at the top. The advice I got on that day really settled in me and helped me digest a lot ot of other good advice that has sat on the surface of my desire to achieve.
I need to tolerate distress and discomfort better-both on an anxiety level and when it comes to friendships and relationships and work. If someone doesn't like me, I can survive. I need to lower the drinking and focus on what makes me happy: writing, engaging with others, exercise, peace.
Still working on not taking things too seriously or personally. Making progress but always working on that. My good friends are great counsel for reminding me of this. Thanks to Crystal who is LITERALLY like a crystal ball looking into my life and shining her crystal clear focus on areas where I need clarification. Thanks to Kristen for reminding me how to be compassionate when someone else is struggling and to share the joy and laughter as much as possible to lighten the load. Thanks to both these lovely ladies for reminding me that I need to draw boundaries when it comes to dealing with troubled family members. That it's "not my repsonsibility" to take care of my mother, that I get to decide how and when I am available to do that. I need to remember that in the coming year as my mother continues to struggle with mental illness. Thanks to Marlow for showing me that I can do this myself, though this is just a temporary year apart, I've benefited from some alone time and navigated the physical distance between us well for the most part. He helped me see that I am stronger than I think.
I want to take more initiative. Whether that's helping someone clean up or at work. I look to my best friend for this. She is always trying to help people and doing things on her own.
I'd really like to find some focus/direction about how to spend my time, particularly around social change work. There are so many things happening and I've been feeling overwhelmed by the options and mostly just staying home reading fiction, which does not feel like an acceptable response to the urgency of the moment. So -- finding/choosing a way to act, and doing it!
The advice that I am going to do my best to follow in the coming year is to be fully present wherever I am, whatever I'm doing. I have the propensity to always be in my head thinking several steps ahead. There are times when I need to just enjoy the moment playing with my daughter instead of thinking about what we need to do for the next few hours. I want to put my phone away and focus more during family time.
I want to be content without losing ambition this next year. My life is quite good as it is -- a solid foundation -- I just need to start optimizing what I have so my life is ultimately in its best form at all times. As my uncle said in reference to conquering nerves during public speaking, "don't think about yourself, think about the topic" -- and I think that's pretty applicable to life generally.
Keep true to core values and practice them better. Know before whom you stand- in respect to the Divine and to the Eternal
Create a more disciplined writing practice. Go on more dates. That's pretty much it. Advice from a writing friend: You can not write and feel terrible about not writing or you can write and feel terrible about what you're writing, but at least then you're writing. So - write.
I have started to say yes to more things.. where things are spending time with my family.. and no to more things where I am fixing other peoples problems. It is hard to not answer every call for help.. but my family has to come first.
I want to be healthier. I've already started trying to cut out some carbs and eat more protein, but I need to continue being dedicated to that and not buying as many salty treats (popcorn, chips, etc). To go along with the better diet, I need to actually set a consistent workout schedule. I have all of the equipment, but I'm not taking the time to use it. And I must!
I would like to be more productive & proactive in my life this next year. I want to use more hours of the day accomplishing the goals & dreams God has given to me. Developing my technological skills, as well as my photography skills & becoming good at writing. If I don't step out in God, I'll never have the life I want. I will let James 2:18 be my focus: But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.
Well, I'm in training for a new job. I'd like to learn enough to be good at it, and make more money have more security from it next year. The best piece of advice I ever received which I was reminded of a lot this past year is "DONT".
I'd like to get better at being a friend and attracting people who could be my friends. I'd like to make better choices about how I spend my time and managing to spend it with other people more often. Of course, if I could figure out a way to have more than 24 hours in a day, that would be good, too. Just yesterday I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes: "I'm not afraid of storms for I'm learning how to sail my ship." Hadn't thought about it for a very long time, but I think it may be helpful for me once again, as it once was.
I want to be the best mother to adult children, grandmother, and mother-in-law that I can be. The best advice that I have received on this topic is "bite your tongue". Also, "Patience is a virtue" and I always have to remember that this is their lives not mine.
I would like to improve on my budgeting skills and become a self-taught (or YouTube-taught) home improvement expert.
Treat myself better -- in all facets of my life. That means taking care of my body and mind. And seriously getting more sleep.
I would like to improve myself in two ways over the next year: actually get settled in a relationship (oy, gavult), and to have a clear goal forward. I don't think I have any pieces of wisdom from the last year - these are just general goals of mine.
I would really like to be on more solid footing financially. I can really handle just about anything but that. And I have not been on solid financial footing since I was laid off on March 19, 2009. Right now, I have everything just covered with no wiggle room. I have a HELOC on standby just in case and Mary is in college which was recommended by my company's financial advisor. I have looked at my budget and find nothing to give up that doesn't just add to my workload - cleaning, yard, etc. And I am not contributing to a 401K anymore. Had to cut that when I lost Mary's benefits when she graduated from high school. Insurances take a HUGE chunk. The only option I see is a new job..........
There is always room for improvement. To be more patient, kinder, more thoughtful, more generous. To take time for taking care of my body and soul.
I want to improve my daily habits. Drink less, sit less, get back to Yoga, find a way to be intimate again with my husband. "A strong woman loves, forgives, walks away, lets go, tries again, perseveres... no matter what life throws at her."
Don't be afraid to be yourself. People like you for who you are. You don't have to censor yourself in fear that people won't like you. You may have to censor yourself in the workplace or the classroom, because there's a time and place for everything.
Don't give up. Stay engaged. Advice: "welcome to the world of everyone who never had the luxury of imagining the system was fair." But don't stop trying to make it better.
This past year has taught me that I am more resilient than I thought. I need to be more open to change...but I also need to be ok with how things are. That I can stop, and relax, and enjoy the fruits of my labor so far.
Eat cleaner, reduce your inflammation if you eat cleaner. KEEP GOD BY YOURSIDE. ASK HIM before any decision for the answer.
I took a great leap by starting to use Best Self Journals and I'm loving them. But it's time for me to level up my planning and journaling. I'd like to start waking up earlier and making time for exercise every morning. I am a fairly active guy, but I want more. :) I also want to protect my planning and journaling time better -- to guard it. I'd also like to get pre-approved for a home loan and then move.
I would like to gain more discipline and self control on eating habits. To see considerable advances in my physique. We've started cenegenics this year and with the changes so far I've seen great improvements in emotions, thicker healthier hair and skin and muscle tone. I'd like to decrease weight and body fat %. The greatest advice I'm working on is that success is in our daily habits. I've added a gallon of water a day, tracking our meals, paleo meals, and increasing protein to 100g+ a day, and interval sprints.
the best thing i could do to improve my life would be to quit wasting time and focus... make plans, write them down, check them off as finished. i use a trick on facebook to stop myself from being sucked down the black hole of marginally interesting things... i can keep reading until i see a dog or a cat, then i must close it out. under 15 seconds; works every time
I would like to loose weight and be healthier. I would also like to lean on the Lord more and trust Him more.
In the last year I've tried to eliminate a lot of stress out of my life and do more things I enjoy. One thing I'd like to empower myself to do is to say no. I have a habit of letting people take advantage of me because I want to help and do as much as possible. Instead of being helpful, I end up wearing myself thin and stressing myself out. This year, I want to let myself decline invitations to events without fearing I'm going to disappoint others. I will disappoint others by not being there, but if I can't be there, that's the end of it.
I want to get the balance between my girlfriend and my best friend right. I want to feel at home somewhere. I want to be more open and kind. I want to stop overthinking.
I need to not allow myself to get so frustrated by my workplace. Regardless of my response, and changes supposedly for the positive, it still remains a button that turns on unhealthy emotions so I REALLY need to up my game on the "not caring". Let's face it, caring has only hurt me. So I have to learn that caring les doesn't mean I've given up or don't care at all. Just that I'm protecting myself/my health. How to do this? Not as easily done as said...will continue to seek out articles, etc. that give me tools for my belt. Continue to deep breathe. It's a journey!
Best advice ever--don't seek guilt. If a situation doesn't automatically lend itself to feeling guilty, don't force it.
I would like to take lessons on driving because i would like to move to the countryside and i need a car. Need to draw more, to do things that give me pleasure, travel a lot, getting out of the comfort zone. I received an advice from my grandmother´s that i need to choose better the people with whom i have a relationship, that they need to be respectful and working guys.
I would like to take on more Stoic principles and apply them to my life. I've been drawn to the following quotes: "You have power over your mind--not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." ---Marcus Aurelius, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response." ---Victor Frankl "We control our opinion, choice, desire, aversion, and, in a word, everything of our own doing." ---Epictetus What I take from this is that I need to think more and speak less. To recognize that I can only control my own responses not the rest of the world. I am not perfect and I will never be perfect. But I can continually strive to be the best that I can be. To be the person I want in my life.
Next year I want to point my ambitions in way that helps others. I have had the privilege of following my dreams despite medical setbacks in my 20s. I have been somewhat self-absorbed--and necessarily so sometimes in order to regain a sense of self. It stopped helping this year though. I think it hurt my relationship and makes me unhappy. The world is different after the election. I know I'm smart, I have access to education and a wide range of experience. I want a stable income and I want to succeed, but I want to make ire I'm helping others, using my privilege to give others the chances I did. I want to help the people around me, immediately and peripherally. I don't want to go around seeing problems and not acting on them anymore. "Anything you have the impulse to do, now's the time to do it," mom said. I want to keep asking questions: what makes people care? What makes people change?
When I think about improvement, it takes my mind many places. First I think about my goals. What do I want to be right now, what/where do I want to be in 1 year, 2 years, 5 years etc. That would be my destination. It would inform my path. Then there is the path. On it, I think there are different dimensions that come into play. There is the rate of travel along that path, and rate of improvement of my rate of travel along that path. So, when I think of improvement, I think of it on the following dimensions. 1) Is there improvement in my goals and where I want to see myself in the future (aka the destination) 2) is there improvement in my path (i.e. am I taking the most efficient routes to get there?) 3) What is the speed that I am traveling along that path? (i.e. can I be operating in a better way to improve my travel?) and 4) what is the rate of change and evolution of my path and speed? From this conceptual framework, I would want to inform what I practically do to better myself. This is where I identify the potential problems, and the problems that currently exist. The things I'm currently struggling with are 1) the destination 2) the path and 3) the rate of speed along that path. 1) With regards to my destination, I think this is something I need to improve. I lack clear direction in my life. What am I supposed to maximize in my framework of what the world needs, what i am good at, what i can be paid the most for, and what I enjoy the most. This is the question of my purpose. I don't know the answer at this time, but I want to improve my ability to find it. The ways I plan on doing this are the following: 1) say yes. I think by saying yes to opportunities and adventures I will have a grander perspective on life and understand myself more deeply and through that find what's important. This includes projects at work and commitments in my personal life. Ultimately I will have to sacrifice certain things, but I have a hypothesis that these things are likely not as valuable as I see them to be right now. Or maybe they are and I will find out soon enough. 2) do the things that I find uncomfortable. I more mean this in the sense of connecting to the first point around go to the areas that are foreign and see the benefit in doing so. When I say uncomfortable, I'm referring to the things that you know are good for you but often complacency and comfort override our ability to make those leaps. I want to make those leaps which will help me develop at a person. this could include speaking in front of large groups, taking on an ambitious project, waking up early to do something important to me, or something entirely different. to be continued
Be more proactive to go after what I want. Yes, people always so be a self-advocate. It's easier said than done...
Love more, serve more, be more humble.
I'd like to lose 30 kg and love myself enough to stop engaging with men who don't see how amazing I am. Advice? No. I hope to learn how to focus my brain on all the positive things my direct reports and friends have been telling me for year so I can not only believe in myself (which I do), but also not be afraid to try and possibly to fail.
I would like to forgive my ex and his new wife 100%. See, I have forgiven my ex 99.9%. And I have forgiven his new wife somewhere in the range of 0% and 80%, depending on the day. I know through hard data and my own experience that forgiveness is for my happiness, my freedom, my health, my joy, my life. My therapist advises me, that while she knows how hard it is for me to forgive someone who broke the Sisterhood Code by getting involved with a married man, she reminds me that deep down I know I am with a more compatible mate, and that 100% forgiveness of both of them will add years to my life. As I want to live forever, unburdened by bitterness, I promise to take my therapist's advice: hold Ms. Claudia inside my most compassionate heart... and forgive her. For me.
Improve my life? I really just want to continue to be patient and stress-free, if at all possible under this current political climate. Advice? Breathe and mediate every day.
I only partly did what I said I wanted last year which was to more fully embrace the OKR process. I would like to improve how I handle conflict in my marriage. I'm not sure yet how to do that, but I want to figure it out. I don't want to let my upset over politics create distance between us or leave Chris feeling judged. I can forget to be curious about what is going on for him when he expresses anger at things that are core values for me?
I am addicted to sleeping pills. I have a strong running regimen but need to balance it with some more mindful exercise like yoga, both because I have chronic pain in my back AND because I need the stress relief. I need to break my addiction to my phone. So MY goal in terms of improving myself is: more mindfulness, less technology, more health, less medication.
YES. I'd like to make my eating and my physical body as important as my spirituality. I read about "divine weight" and how it is not about vanity but that the goal is that my body and fitness already has an ideal state. This meant no diets, but to look at motives behind excess eating and to be conscious of every time i am gluttonous and stress or eat out of boredom. It meant staying fit and making better choices rather than crash diets. I've started writing down when I stress eat and try to see what's underneath it. I am changing my habit of working out late in the day to working out in the morning.
I would like to be a more patient and kinder person. I have seen groups, teams, people, etc become so devided. It's not about black or white, republican or democrat, Jews or christians. It's about people. We need to wake up.
Follow what you love, wherever that may lead even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. Do your work. Leap into the void.
Just do it! What are you waiting for? WHY are you still there? That's the kind of advice and words of wisdom I needed to hear - and I just keep hearing them. I would like to be moving forward - meaning: 1) taking classes toward finally completing my degree; 2) living in a city that feels like home; 3) working at a job/in a profession that fulfills me; and 4) buying my OWN home.
I would like to stop seeing self-improvement as a war with myself, and instead focus on how to best exist in the present moment. Advice: "Make friends with your shadow."
Somehow "me" has gotten lost in the past year. Weird because it has been a year of career success and professional validation. it is like I am two different people. At work I am strong, vibrant and when I speak my mind people listen. I have energy and creative inspiration at work that is truly making things better for the people I represent. At home I am tired, listlesswith no energy for even simple routine tasks. I hide in my room and inside the pages of a never ending list of books that transport me to a different time and place. I have lost balance and a sense of myself outside of my professional identity. Exercise, socializing, family adventures - all things that I used to enjoy and actively pursue have faded from my everyday existence. I need to find these elements if my life myself again. So hopefully when I read these answers next year I will be in a more balanced life situation.
I would like to improve myself and life by following my bliss and build the skills that I want to acquire. Yanik Silver and Mike Budny advise this but to also incorporate a give back model with the house hack idea.
Nate tells me I should have more confidence in myself, that it can help me improve in my work. Maybe in the next year, if I deserve that, I could start implementing it
I thought it was a bad idea, and probably impossible, to isolate myself from people who had different political and religious views. But my way of embracing people who are different from me has been to stay silent on disagreements and discuss whatever similarities come up. I am feeling worn out from this and figuring out this balance would make life better. Not sure how to do that. Should I speak up more? Cultivate more like minded friends and colleagues? Avoid computer exchanges, which tend toward vitriol on both sides? Maybe more careful curating of e-information? How does that balance with the goal of not isolating myself from different viewpoints?
As always, I want to stay true to me. I want to be a good friend, and a mensch, someone that creates things to help other people. I want to take more risks and get ready to be an adult. I also need to spend more time with my family before I leave.
Trust myself. I know what I want, need, can't be trusted with, and sometimes even where I put things. At its deepest level, trusting myself would mean letting go a little more and allowing myself to follow my heart & instinct. I learn something about myself when I worry less about controlling life and more about being true to myself.
I would like to feel self-supporting, meaning I validate, uplift, and appreciate myself. I would like to feel solid in who I am and my aligned decisions. As part of this, I would like to allow myself to be supported generously financially so that I can be in an easy flow with giving and receiving - of allowing and enabling. To guide me, I think the advise is to go with my nature, not against.
Find your life's work and pursue it without end.
I'm planning on working on many pieces in small increments to keep it realistic. I am using missar and meditation as well as trying to keep the mitszot in the front of my mind by wearing a kippah family's and tzit tzit on the days that I do not work.
I actually need to make real time for myself. I put work, household tasks, and extended family needs first and take what's left over, such as sneaking a few minutes to read between activities rather than blocking out reading time. I need to replace some basics in clothing, and instead of waiting to see IF there is time to go shopping, I need to schedule it. A great piece of advice actually came in a Facebook post from someone on habits of successful people. One point is they use calendars, not To Do lists. The To Do list leads to unfinished business because the time I'm waiting for doesn't just happen along and present itself. I need to commit to a time for doing it. I am already slowly moving this direction be needs to be more intentional and consistent.
I'd like to be capable of celebrating my successes, giving myself credit for what I've gone through, for getting through. I would like to be comfortable in my skin, my aging skin, to have confidence that good things are coming, that I'll want to cook and play music again, that I'll be okay being alone but also confident to look for love if I need it. I'd like to have a genuine interest in my own health and in the health of the planet and our society. I'd like to plan trips and save money and write more and sing more and smile more and experience the joy of moments rather than pine and fret. I want to make the very, very best of my difficult situation.
I got advice from dear friend nancy about how to have what i want in a relationship. in THE relationship. and now I have hope
Let go of any tension or anger. Try to listen to all sides of an argument before making a judgment--and take the debater's motives into account more than their words. There's no point wasting time on hypocrites. Try to build solidarity with different coalitions--it's the only way to make change.
Don't wait! Don't wait! If you really want to do something, make room in your life to do it now....
Advice? Don't lose your fire. I hope to find that again and dive back into the things I love most.
I would like to feel more settled. Not look to others to see how to think or how things should be but really rely on myself for happiness and let myself be at peace with where things are. Also to re-find the creative wellspring I know is buried within me.
Last year's answer so I never forget: "Relax into yourself." All my spiritual path and intellectual undertakings have come down to this. This is it. Life is now. Either enjoy it or don't. But this is it.
One of my favorite mantras from therapy is "the only person you can control is yourself." I cannot control the words, actions or feelings of others. But I can control how I act or react to others. I'd like to improve on these skills, particularly at work. I'd also like to get better at separating work success from personal and life success.
I want to lead a productive life. I want my actions to have meaning. Ask yourself: Why am I doing this? Truly, why?
Make more time for what matters the most. Read and absorb more. Keep identified priorities aligned with actions. Don't judge too harshly, especially before knowing all the facts I have access to.
I would like to continue to learn to eat better. A friend is willing too stop eating when she isn't enjoying. What an idea! When there is something i like i eat to much of our. When there is something i don't like i feel obligated to eat it. I want to change my mindset.
I guess i have to go back to Etty Hillesum. I would like to deeply incorporate what I learned from her spiritual journey, so i can be more content and peaceful with what my life has provided me. And therefore be able to be more outward-directed in service to others and less self-absorbed.
I would like to improve by working on my procrastination habit, by getting things done right away and not delaying until the last minute. The best piece of advise or counsel that I received has been my son's smile. He reminds me everyday that it's important to have a positive attitude and to look at all the amazing gifts in life.
1. You have a voice in your head telling you to do the right thing. Listen to that voice. The answer is there. 2. A wise woman told me that negative thoughts are like a tiny drop of water, but if you fixate on them, they become an ocean. Focus on the positive, DO positive things, and the drop will eventually dry. This needs to become my new mantra.
Be more patient and Listen Better. LISTEN
Let things go you cannot change.
Several things: Find a relationship. Break 100 in golf. Find my niche/calling/purpose after having retired from the State of Florida - FEMA, entrepreneur/angel investor, consultant, politics. Or a combination of all of these. Also, I want to become a social entrepreneur and fight social anxiety. For myself and also in helping others. I want to grow spiritually; not fall into a particular theology or become church busy. I want to become an expert on a foreign policy issue that the country faces and blog on it or something. Attend meeting on it. Provide wisdom on it. The Vietnam documentary makes me think I may have skills and talent for this. While it's not exactly advice or counsel, I have come to understand that pursuing my purpose, etc. does not mean finding a full time job post-retirement. There are more important things to pursue.
I need to make my own happiness, and not wait for others to make it for me. This is not so simple when we are basically individuals in relationship. But it is time.
I would like to 1) continue to learn and act on taking care of me in the new ways (love myself first, be vulnerable, be less in my head, and . 2) be less of a perfectionist. I just read Brene Brown's new book "Braving the Wilderness" and I would like to 'be the wilderness' which encompasses both of the areas I'd like to improve myself.
I don't, i'm content, I'd like to engage more in my hobbies and see even more of the world, but i'm content
Breathing is always an action I can be taking, even if I feel out of control or stuck in the moment. Square breathing or breathing into my back I can do at any time. Remember to think about my three feet of influence and working to be an agent of kindness in the world.
Put money into a 401K
Next year I want to continue improving my life by trying to do things that matter to me, notably (though not limited to) strengthening my relationships with loved ones (including spending more time with friends), debate, school, and figuring out my future. In terms of how to accomplish this, I hope to prioritize my all-too-limited limited time better and to do more deep work (giving me more time overall); I have been influenced in these ideas by various books and articles about deep work (most importantly Deep Work by Cal Newport), procrastination, and priorities.
I would like to improve my GPA, for sure. People keep telling me to study harder, and I think I just need to grin and bear it and actually study harder.
I would like to find time to read novels, & to clear out some of the stuff we've accumulated. The only advice I need is my own- just do it, stop watching so much TV, & stop procrastinating!
Practice communicating honestly and speaking up when I am frustrated.
I'd like to become more present, more sober, and more compassionate. I've been working on these goals this year, but I'd like to take them all to the next level.
I like to be better during interpersonal conflict; more coaching versus telling people what I think they should do; and also responding better when people are confrontational (because I get very uncomfortable with that). I have some resources but need to dive into more to help me with this.
In the next year I want to be more confident in myself and more carefree! I need to stop giving a fuck about rejection, what people think of me, or why I'm not good enough for something or someone. I am all those things. Stop giving the wrong fucks to the wrong things and people. Give a fuck about the right things, the things that really matter. Embrace vulnerability and allow yourself to go after what you want in your personal life.
I want to be healthier and more calm. I'm working on my anxiety: I see a therapist, I take meds as needed, I try to do things that nurture my soul. I want to write more and have more of my work published. I need to work in a different area of my head. I love the Elizabeth Taylor quote: “You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.”
Adjust my thoughts so that if I catch myself thinking something negative, and there is no real proof what is the truth, regroup and compose a positive scenario or explanation instead. Remind myself that the negative or positive can equally be true so go with the positive. Of course if I have evidence for the negative- that is different. I also want to acknowledge more often to myself what I do well and give myself love and credit.
I would like to be less of a procrastinator. Granted I did not have that much urgency with things on my to do list this year, I still could have acted more promptly, instead of putting things off like I did. I would like more of a sense of urgency in getting things done, as I believe it will be better for my mental health and overall wellbeing. Also I would like to work on time management in terms of spending time with friends, my significant other, personal alone time, and my education. I would not say there is a specific piece of advice I received n the past year, but what I have realized is you must also keep the end goal in mind. If you are working toward something (ie. getting into med school, surviving med school) you must never forget why you chose this path in the first place and never lose sight of your passion and purpose.
I don't know.
I would like to get back to doing more retreat, better health and perhaps more friends and even a significant relationship, for personal improvement. Professionally, more writing, up to and including completing and publishing Volume IV of "The Spanners Series" (which is more than 3/4 done) and getting well into Volume V; finding somewhere excellent to offer my skills, experience, knowledge and leadership/trainings that would also earn me substantial income in the social services/educational nonprofit field for which I would not have to commute far or work more than 25 hours/week, ideally. Best advice I ever got? We can only be where we are.
I want more clients, i want a thriving business. I want to do more ceremonial work. More couples counseling. More counseling! I want a happy healthy family. I want to make money. I want Aaron to be able to work part time. I want so much. The key is patience and the humility it brings. Be in the moment, enjoy the process. Notice the Abundance that is already at hand.
I would like to improve myself by building on my capacity to support others and handle my own stress. I would like to learn humility and pride and keep a little bit more "to myself" and not share things as much. Be a little more guarded with my feelings and my affection and my secrets. I look forward to completing my second round of schooling and pursing my dream of driving across the country, out to BC. If I don't have someone to come with me, I want to go anyways; I don't want to rely on someone else to make this happen. After I give myself the gift of this trip, I would like to get a new job, potentially in a new city (further north). Depending where my life goes. If this does not pan out, I don't want to feel like a failure because I will know that I accomplished many other things instead.
I want to be the best that I can be: get a job at the top of my potential, more money, more responsibilities. Be closer to my daughter, communicate better. Make friends. Make a difference. Open up a little bit to more possibilities.
Reframe your obligations into conscious choices. You know you're following your passion when you're excited. Live life as though the world is rigged in your favor. When you're having a bad day, see who you can make happy, joy creates more joy. We can't control a lot of what happens to us, we can control our reactions. Learn flatfooting.
Practice patience. Let go of things and people. If they’re meant to be in your life they will find a way.
"Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself." This was a stressful year, and I am a naturally anxious person. What is so true though is that worrying is a choice. I hope to try to really master the art of acknowledge things that I am anxious or scared about, and seeing if I can shift this nervous energy to excitement or exhilaration to be trying something new that challenges me.
I would like practice following the Four Agreements: 1. Be impeccable with your word: speak with integrity; say only what you mean; avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others; and use the power of your Word in the direction of Truth and Love. 2. Don't take anything personally (this is gonna be my biggest challenge): recognize that nothing others do is because of you; what others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own perceptions, and their past; when you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. 3. Don't make assumptions: find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want; communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama; with just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. 4. Always do your best: your best is going to change from moment to moment -- it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick; under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. My biggest challenge will be to try and not take things personally. It's a huge re-programming/unlearning effort for me, because I personalize almost everything and make everything about me, but I'm finding a lot of truth and liberation from experimenting with this one point. When I remove myself from the equation and practice recognizing that others are self-absorbed just like I am, then it makes it easier to understand how people's reactions and behaviours are rooted in their own histories of being parented (whether that was fraught with trauma or not) and I am free to continue caring the way I did before, and I can shift my response to acknowledge their traumas without taking their actions as a personal affront. This will definitely help me to grow in all my relationships.
rest in order to exercise. dont cop out. do it. five days a week.
My spiritual director gave me this excerpt from Rilke's letter to a student. I will try to " live the questions now." "Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves ... Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far into the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."
On the improvment piece - I will continue what I started working on. I have been working on being more patient. This past year has been one of great loss. I do not have any advice to give, right now.
I'd like to get rid of my fear of travel once and for all. When I do travel and things go well, then I feel like I can have another trip soon. But, when I go for too long without traveling, the old fears come back. I realized that this year was the first in many that I have not left New York State. The only traveling I did was with my wife, and those were only overnights or weekend trips. I think I need to plan on traveling by myself at least once a month next year. Go to NYC or Canada or even someplace I've never visited just to do it. The problem is affording it. I think by overcoming these travel fears my life will be better off overall and I will develop more confidence in other areas of my life. At this point in time, I have less self confidence than I've had in decades.
I think I say this every year, but I want to be more patient. I am someone who holds very strong opinions, and it's hard for me not to react when someone holds views that I consider to be dangerous, discriminatory, or unfair. My emotional responses, and my inclination to see people with bad ideas as bad people is a flaw. I need to work on it. I'm not sure how to go about this process, but I'm aware that it's a change I need to make. Wolf is one of the most even-keeled people I know. Hopefully his example will rub off on me.
I would like to accept me just as I am. My funny moods, my depression, my highs, my lows, my need for love, my loneliness, my happiness, my need for people, my need for freedom, my need to plan and my need to be spontaneous. I want my love of life and the people in it to keep me going when life seems an unbearable hurdle and the grief for the friends I have lost and the love that seems impossible to find breaks me. The most important advice I have been given and I would pass on for sure, "life is too short, live it, live it in a way that people will remember you as a good person but don't let yourself be used" "Givers must always set boundaries because takers never do" "Souls who were meant to be together, will always find each other, but don't sit there waiting, go out and live your life to the full and when you meet you will complement each other, not mould each othet"
I want to improve myself by learning new things, putting myself out there for all kinds of experiences, and also to become a healthier person on the inside and outside. I went through the first few weeks of a Grief Share program and it gave me new insight on my life and what grief has done to me. I want to finish the workbook and maybe even consider finishing the classes within that church.
I would like to improve on my eating habits this next year, and just become the best version of myself possible. Both physically and mentally. There isn't any specific advice that I can recall, but i just know for myself i can't control everything around me but i can control my own reactions to every situation. So i will try to not turn to food when i'm unhappy or sad. I will look at myself and try to find the root of the issue and solve it, not just mask it with alcohol and or food.
As much as I believe that I have confidence, I have not really seen it come through lately. I have been scared in school that I am 'not smart enough' and scared in relationships that I am 'not pretty' or 'not funny' enough. I want to trust that I am perfect in who God made me. I want to be assured that I am continually becoming better. I have a lot of quotes/verses that guide my life. One that I want to live intentionally this upcoming year is: "Sign you are growing in grace: You can laugh at yourself more today that yesterday." I want to not let little things disrupt my inner peace, I want to be able to laugh at the odd ends of my life and encourage others to do the same. I think something that is a strength of mine is being positive. I hope that I can turn that positive attitude on myself and enter deeper in relationships being more confident in who I am and not scared that I am wasting someone's time. Also, I would like to get better at not only accepting compliments- but believing them.
There is not much to improve... except less impulsive... more active outdoors... for the rest i am perfect....
I'd be glad if by this time next year, I'll be better able to receive feedback. I am having trouble accepting even the most constructive feedback and I'm often taking it too personal. That's why I'm also having a hard time pointing out students' mistakes: I'm afraid they'll have a hard time accepting it. That's silly of course: I'm their teahcer to help them grow, but how can they grow when I don't feel comfortable showing them where there's room to improve?
In the coming year, I would like to write more, more often and with more personal content. I would like to better use my talents to further causes close to my heart like the justice ministry. The advice I would give myself is to jump in. Stop making excuses on why now is not the perfect time and trust my talents.
Stay true to myself. Some of my characteristics that I have always admired about myself, I am no longer embodying as strongly. I hope I continue to smile, all the time, and spread those smiles, contagiously. I hope I continue to be positive, in every situation, and always find the bright side. I hope I continue to eat healthily and exercise because that is when I feel not only my best, but my most me. I hope I continue to dive into philosophical conversations as often as possible, and find the deeper side of every soul I cherish. I hope I continue to do things for others, and be kinder than necessary. I hope I stay hungry. I hope I stay foolish.
I will wake up each day and tackle the day like a winner. I will work more focused and keep my goals in the forefront and my eye on the target, and be ready for the next one. I will help my fam learn to dream big dreams and that there is such h a glorious life we need er knew was waiting for us before...
Just like last year. I haven't made any progress, except for feeling more gratitude. It's time to explore what's holding me back.
I would like to take up a social hobby and develop a stronger friend base. "You never know what a someone is going through. Everyone is fighting their own battles. Be kind."
I would like to pursue a learning activity, and exercise more. I have to change my life and get moving!
Don't ask for money from friends. It's me against the world.
I'm confined by repetitive behaviors that don't serve me or those I care for well. I'd like that to change but acknowledge that it's not easy to do.
I would like to continuously make changes according to outcomes of experiences. I will become better at listening to my body and its needs. I would like to receive a depressive mood as equal to any other. I would like to be able to say “no” and feel good about it. I found out that my own counsel to myself is best.
I'd like to continue therapy and work on self love and acceptance. I'd like to learn to be myself unapologetically with everyone in my life (including family etc). I'd also like to learn to ask for more in relationships with the purpose of being in a healthy long term and loving romantic relationship.
I'd like to avoid being such a procrastinator in all aspects of my life--personal and professional. If I can apply myself to the myriad projects at home and at work in a more timely fashion, I just might be able to reduce my stress level.
I want to learn what I WANT and like again. I want a life that has meaning again. I do not want to waste what is left of my life and time energy on relationships that use me up. I don't want to put love before money or my own survival and success anymore. I want to be better at not getting into (and getting out of) situations that are emotionalky draining. I want to be better about recognizing what is my emotional residue or pattern or "baggage," from the actions and effects of others and which parts are theirs, such as not instantly asking what I am doing wrong if someone seems to be ignoring my communications (text, email). I am not an overcommunicator per se, but I would like it if the man I am with placed as much importance on responding to me as I do on responding to him. He looks at his phone every half hour to see if his daughter or ex or the child's grandma have texted or called, but he goes for a day or two before responding r me, and if or when he does respond, it is as if he did not read my message. I am left wondeting, am i being stonewalled or blown off... It's discouraging. The advice I am being given is to simply walk away, but it is hard when I care so much for him and his child. He is incredibly talented, gifted, intelligent, and has a great big heart, but it seems the closer we get the less importance he seems to place on me or us. I am left constantly feeling like an afterthought, rather than someone who matters. I waited 20 years for this man. Now I feel...emotionally and physically drained... Becoming spent. I feel like it could be so amazing, but like I keep feeding and watering a life (plant, relationship) that he ignores or simply won't "see" or nurture or even respond to in some cases. I think I will just speak my heart and mind then see where we land. I will be okay either way. I would be relieved if I could just leave him and be single, because something better would come along.
Setting boundaries with others both in my personal life and my professional life.
I would like to make and keep commitments to doing the things I want to do.....Travel, for instance. I put things off, using just about anything as an excuse. It's not about procrastination...okay, maybe it is. I want to be less of a procrastinator...... Don't know about advice or counsel, but there have been a few folks I have met who are doing what I want to be doing.....they are serving as examples and guides.
my math teacher in first grade once told me that even if the whole world does it, it doesn't mean it is right. You always have to think for yourself and decide what is the way to go.
Do less things and do each one at 110%. I overflow myself with tasks and projects and get stressed because there is always so much that I need and want to do and no time (or not prioritizing well) to do it. Do less, enjoy more, do it all well (and I can if it's less on my plate). Here's trying for this in 5778!
Love yourself. The importance of self-care. Radical self-love. Etc.
I want to be accepting of my life and make it joyous daily by being fully engaged in making it great today. Let tomorrow worry about tomorrow. Where I am planted for the day can bring joy and opportunities to share life with others. Life should not be full of "we need to move", "need to lose 10 pounds", etc. Live now, in the moment and live it with respect for how fleeting it can be.
Be yielding. Let it go. Exercise daily. Be in the moment.
One of my goals is to be a "YES" person. I feel like too often I've been a "no" person, always doubting the practicality of situations and erring on the side of caution. Next year I want to work towards saying "yes" first, and concern myself with logistics later. I have so many "yes" role models who have shown me that being a visionary and an optimist can be feasible. I want to emulate the,=m.
I need to work on self-compassion. I'm quite mean to myself and push myself further and harder than I need to. I want to find a balance between doing things that are hard and uncomfortable and that I'm supposed to do and resting, caring for myself, and indulging. I don't always need to be doing every single little thing that I'm "supposed" to be doing or that MIGHT make a difference in my health, weight, financial situation, etc. I want to find a balance between the value of doing those things and the benefits they provide me, my life, my friends, etc.
I would like to improve myself and my life next year by not being so negative, not focusing on my troubles or difficulties, be more accepting of myself and others, and not complaining so much.
"Don't stick so close to the script." And "listen to your wife." Maia has a pretty good sense of my worst instincts, but I tend not heed her warnings. I should. I need to reminds myself and be reminded - what's going to engage others, not just what do I think I want to say. "How shall they hear?" is just as important. I would like to be more directly and interactively engaged with my audiences., in the classroom, at lectures, in all kinds of public forums.
No one can make you commit to anything. No one can make you want to do something. You have to light your own fire. You control your own fate.
Let go of some rage. Let go of some cynicism. No traffic on the high road.
One of my greatest supporters passed away last month. She was 95 and truly an incredible woman. At her memorial I spoke about her and ended with, "And when I grow up, I want to be just like her." I visited her in the hospital the day before she died and she whispered to me, "You're doing the right thing [my synagogue]. I know you're struggling, but never, never, never give up." I hear those words every day in my head. And I truly take them to heart.
To be healthier. Keep moving is the advice. So to start/continue to exercise on a regular basis. Also, to learn to be present always, to remain calm and steady, and not let little things get me upset and flustered.
I would like to lose ten pounds. Advice is always to exercise more
I want to be kinder and take care of myself.
This year I'm thinking a lot about Seth Godin's "On saying 'no'" as I figure out personally and professionally when to say yes, and when to say no. I'm trying to say "yes" a lot more socially, and "no" a lot more professionally. I am hoping this year brings new relationships and opportunities to be challenged and grow.
I would like to be healthier, both mentally and physically. I would like to be more self-confident and proud of who I am. There’s so much stigma around chronic illness shaming and body shaming that has inspired me to not let those defeat me but empower me to be the best version of myself possible.
Get fitter. Improve my relationships with family and friends.
More patience with myself and others. The counsel I received recently was from someone after I became temple president who said: "there have been a variety of personalities who have filled the role of president over the years. Each one is exactly what the temple needs at that time and so are you". I hope I can live up to those expectations.
Nothing could guide or inspire me more than my sons' concern about my health, but it still doesn't scratch the surface -- other than to make me guilty. I assure them I am healthy while at the same time bemoaning (to myself and a select few/not them) my issues re. eating. Being thinner comes to mind so much more easily than the immense improvement in so many other spheres that would be instigated, say, by me selling one of my novels. (What would I look like on the book tour? Ridiculous worry, right?) I continue to blame my partner and while he is certainly pushing food (and drink) my way at every opportunity (misery loves company) seven years after meeting him my body is so not what I want to be that I can only blame myself. While it has been liberating to be with a person who is so not-aesthetically oriented, the arguments on the other side are overwhelming. I grew up in an aesthetically oriented family -- beauty is extremely important to my mother (because she is (still) beautiful) and my ex is similarly oriented -- the next 25 years of my life, give or take. And here I am carrying a stomach that is indeed not healthy though all the numbers are okay. So in the back of my mind I hear my sons' voices and worry and feel guilt. And at the base, especially given all the newish scientific info about the roller coaster that weight loss is, I have no confidence in my ability to change. I know I have to do something about that. At the very least be active.
Feel more calm, present, and giddy. This year has been anxiety ridden. One piece of advice is to choose the fucks I give wisely - you can't give a fuck about everything to the same degree.
Balance my onstage and backstage self.
I'd like to get through this year without going to the hospital. I'd like to strengthen my career and financial situation.
See answer to number 6. Now that things have calmed down with the move and getting the house renovated I need to focus on paying off debt and getting this weight off. The best counsel is one I gave my Mom that got her losing 40 pounds ( and keeping it off ) eating very clean most of the time and splurging when you go out.
Getting into therapy will be a big help. Learning how to manage stress better, improve my own health, etc.
I would like to have more energy & stamina; plus lose a little weight. I would also like to do some purging of things in our house, so things are easier to store and find; and it looks better. I do not enjoy the major cleaning we have to do every time we expect someone coming here. I would like to understand better how to use many of the gadgets and electronic devices we have acquired. Most of them are not difficult once I learn, it is just the unfamiliarity that prevents us from just digging in.
I'd like to savor each day and live more in the moment. My inspiration has come from the arts, particularly film and television sci-fi/fairy tales (e.g., Pan's Labyrinth and The OA). Also, being in the Middle Way Society and opening myself up to value the creative side of my brain - not just being rational but letting go - trying to live a more integrative life, inspires me. Hearing and seeing great stories inspires me. Hopefully, writing and performing stories will help heal us.
I'm learning how to do less and always working on being patient. But I'm also working on being okay with me the way I am. I don't need to improve. I am enough!
I will answer the same thing I said last year...less on-line time and more one-on-one and family time with my children. I don't want my children to favor screens over face to face interactions and I need to set that example.
I hope to improve in displaying my art work through out my home. I did have a revelation about happiness which is the realization we achieve happiness by overcoming problems & not avoiding them. Many people are unhappy that they have problems without understanding that solving problems is what makes us happy!
I wish I had an advice, but it did not happened. I'm at the age when people expect advice from me... Yesterday, answering the question, I have admitted that I'm afraid to commit to anything because I'm so afraid of the failure. This is what I probably want to change most of all.
I want to forgive myself for not being perfect or more this or more that. I'm not everything, I don't need to be everything. And the things I ding myself for (not being more of a "leader" not being more "alpha") I'm actually just fine at. I don't *need* to be any more, and I'm *more* than I always thought I was. I've been reading a book about mindfulness and they include some thoughts about how you can't find happiness, because it will always be out of reach. You have to recognize how it already exists. You can't live waiting to be happy UNTIL you have that new job or that new guy or whatever changes. Because you will always find a new until. I'm looking to lose all my untils this coming year. XO
Polish, polish, polish. From my karate training, I have learned that I can always do better, even on the basics. I would like that to be my guiding principle. It includes the humility to see that I don't know everything, the willingness to take the time to keep trying to improve, the persistence to keep going no matter what.
This year was a telling year losing my one and only relative i had left (mom). I would like to "stop and smell the roses" so to speak. Life is short. You never know how much time you get. My husband keeps giving me great advice. I just have such a hard time implementing it sussing the daily issue that arise all the time (having 3 kids that tens to happen..a lot).
I would like, as best as I can, to feel how I'm feeling in the moment without running to distractions -- like shopping, food, busyness, etc. "Feel how it feels". I'd also like to work on maintaining my compassion for others as much as I can. Eventually, I want to be able to expand my view of compassion to people beyond my immediate sight.
I want to keep moving into the comfort of who I am at this time in my life. Who I am in all of my roles, but most importantly who I am as a person, as a human being.
Travel more! Go visit the places you want to visit. Go now, take Max or go by yourself. Do it now!
"Life's short. Eat cake." ;-) Actually the best advice has been that it's okay to focus on self, home, and family and tune out the larger world some of the time. We spread ourselves so thin that it's hard to be effective at everything because we're tired and being pulled in too many different directions and have too many different things to try and focus on.
Sometimes struck me today as I walked back to my apartment. Yes, my relationship was great. I got to know my partner better than I ever known anyone. In fact, for the first six months of our two and a half years together, I began to realize just how much we DON'T know about many people in our lives. There are little details -- about family, about habits, about goals and manners of thinking -- that pass us by, even with our closest friends. With my partner, some of those details began to become less fuzzy. It's amazing how complex our lives are. I trusted my partner with the raw details of my life too. It was reciprocated. When we broke up, some new information came to light -- nothing devastating, but new info nonetheless. When you think you know everything about a person, there will still be surprises. And that's ok. To myself in the coming year: Remember that you never stop getting to know yourself either. You too are an infinitely wealth of complexity and if you can accept that there is no bottom line -- if you can trust yourself to know that you are not static -- you will remember that others aren't either. Trust yourself first and allow yourself to trust others.
Don't take work so seriously. If you get hit by a bus - trust me, they will figure out it. If you're tempted to work late into the night, just don.t Just leave at 5pm. Work will be there tomorrow.
I want to be more comfortable in my own skin. To me this means two things: exercising more self-discipline and improving my sense of humor. Specifically, I want to apply cognitive behavior therapy to be more positive about basic activities like eating and exercising while taking that moment's pause to think of my situation humorously rather than catastrophically. No specific advice this past year. Rather, the decision to retire has prompted me to go back over years of wisdom and good counsel I have always sought.
Trust myself, increase my self esteem that I have struggled with for years, to be positive and optimistic, to don’t be depressed again, I know is not something you get rid off quickly but I want to be happy, to be determined and passionate about whatever I do, to be more artistic, caring and with good vibes.
I really want to focus on my writing and improve it. I'm already doing that, and I've improved a lot this year but I hope that in one year I've improved even more. That I'm more confident in it and that. Most. Of. All. I'm still fucking writing. If I've stopped writing by this time next year here's a gentle reminder to my future self: Get your shit together! Start writing again! I know you love it and so do you!
I would like to learn where my anger comes from and how to not let it sabotage my relationships.
Experience joy and don't create stress by projecting outcomes in the future. Be present and have fun. Advice from my therapist and my grandson Luke!!
I wish I could say stay positive, but I just can't. This past year has been too much. Spent 3 weeks in the hospital in the new year. Shortly after release, my kidneys fail. I have worked a total of 3 weeks this year, and I just want to retire. Money 💰 is tight, and to make a decent profit, we can't well until next spring. I have tried meditation, prayer as staying positive, to no avail.
I would like to be more available to the people and causes that I deem are important to me. My wife, my children, my mom, mother in law. The causes that I feel that if I can give my time that maybe the world will be a little better when it is time for me to leave.
I will exercise more and regularly. I will practice French until I understand at least as well as I speak.
I want to be less fearful. I want to act authentically rather than performatively. I am tired of being the things other people need me to be. I have no idea how to get there.
I heard a holocaust surviver saying that when you can't change something or someone you don't like you need to be extra tolerant than them because hate or being angry only generates bad energy and makes you feel even worse. I am trying to stick to this way of thinking
Listen more.
less technology, more time with family. "If you want to change the world, go home and love your family."
I've been told to live my dreams but I am scared that I will die before I find someone to love me as a mate. Many persons say "it will happen when you least expect it". So I quit looking and I am still alone and scared.
I would like to get on top of my life and not feel like I am doing everything last minute. For the last several years I feel like I am doing barely enough to get by, and the quality of my work is suffering as a result. It is hard to foresee any more time in the future as responsibilities continue to pile up, but better time management is definitely my focus for this year. I'm not sure if there is any specific advice I have received in the past year that will help, but I've started going to weekly therapy, and I think that will help me gain perspective.
Stop, breathe, make a different choice.
I believe that I will ditto last year's answer. I have made some progress in maintaining my sense of self with respect to not always agreeing with friends or family who continue to struggle with mental health issues. I have been able to challenge distorted thinking patterns without resorting to aggressive responses. It makes me feel less manipulated, even though I fully understand their "mishegos". I feel a bit less patient when they cannot move past their lifelong pain or see the future in a more positive way.
I'd like to be more tolerant of my partner's anxiousness, and find more effective and empathetic ways to encourage her to broaden her comfort zone. I'd also like to get back into the habit of at least occasional exercise.
I want to be more positive, less complaining. I want to bring out my inner Grandma Bette and lead with what a great experience each day brings. Susan said she just wants to look for some joy each day. I do too.
There's a Dan Nichols song, "Asher Yatzar," which contains the lyrics, "I’m perfect the way I am and a little broken too." I want to believe that in the next year. There's no one in the world who would say that 2016-2017 has been an easy year. Michelle Obama said it best, though, in facing challenges and overcoming those obstacles: "When they go low, we go high." It's a reminder and call to action to be good. Protest when that achieves good. Be kind and that's good. Do your best and that's good. Be good.
You are enough. I, like many people, get caught up in the chase. What's next? What is my goal? What am I working for/toward? I would like to get better at the idea of being enough. To stop and smell the roses, to enjoy where I'm at for a while, to be satisfied with my life and mindful of my successes. I don't want to be the kind of person who is constantly moving the goal posts past the horizon line so that I never know what actual success or happiness is.
I hope I figure it out along the way. Stop procrastinating!
my message from the previous year still applies "relax a bit more, smell the roses and participate in stuff that gives pleasure, helps and assists others and gives back somehow" i guess i am still not getting it right ... maybe this year will be better
I’d like to feel more comfortable in my body and take better care of myself, so I can be a better wife, mom, daughter, friend, coworker, human. I’ve been hard on myself for several years now and felt like shit for it. It also worsened my depressive tendencies and anxiety. This next year I want to get in shape (no, for reals), get my groove back style-wise and take better care of my relationships, manage stress better and spend more time doing things that grow my brain instead of distracting it and fill my heart instead of hardening it. It seems selfish, but airlines always tell you to put on your oxygen mask before helping others. I haven’t been better for others by constantly punishing myself. Instead I’ve been depressed, underslept, stressed out, angry, short tempered and cynical and made others deal with my issues instead of working through them myself.
I'd like to quit smoking, drink less and exercise more. What a fucking cliche right? Realistically I'd like to be a better husband and less of a burden, emotionally and fiscally. I'd also like to learn to have friends better, I don't seem to grasp despite 29 years of attempts how to hold a friendship. I'm very much a social hermit but I don't know how to breach that barrier. Partial reluctance/fear to engage in a level of trust unpalatable to me, partial inability to get it right when I do to the extent that I often come off as annoying or creepy. As I'm so fond of saying, I make a great third impression but the first and second, I tend to fuck it up.
I'd like to be more financially abundant and living in my own place with Jon The advice I was given has been to be graceful and patient and to recognize when the opportunity presents itself and to take it!
I would like to get better at connecting with people and feel that I get to know them because I genuinely like them rather than chatting to people as part of a social contract. My advice to my past self would be to be less scared of people and to also try and remember those you talk with so that they feel valued.
I don’t want to be this sick next year. I want my future self to know that being thin is not worth being this sick and messing up my body permanently. If I do that I’m just going to become trapped in a situation I hate but one that I created myself.
I would like to listen better, have kind lips and a kind heart. I would like to be a more compassionate person. I would like to make a difference in people’s lives. The advice I received is if you want change the world you need to model the change you would like.
Keep myself positive, take the time to do the things that are for self care, walk, yoga, read, be creative. Be present, thankful for little moments. Make small steps towards goals that scare me or make me anxious. They're always more manageable as small steps than they look from three outside.
Focus Tifane. Focus on your art. Focus on your writing. Focus on your crafts. Walk away from Facebook. Walk away from political banter that you don't even care about anyway. Refocus on the lord, your skills, and your family.
Calm the eff down. Give less shits about everything. Learning the subtle art of not giving a fuck. Don't explode over everything. This applies to life, not greg lol.
I would like to become more professional in my career. So I want to start presenting at conferences and delving more into the literature. I also want to become more well known for my nature knowledge and programs with the kids, like the maple sugar festival, acorn flour, and now my Science in the Woods program. I haven't really received any advice. Maybe my goal will be to receive advice.
I want to spend this year living for myself. I want this year to be about my needs and my wants. I want to see myself grow professionally- exploring different career areas, personally- extending my social circle and taking myself out of my comfort zone, and health wise- committing to mindful eating and regular exercising (as well as mental health self care). I keep receiving the advice that this is the time for me to put myself first, to really dive head first into self care and investing in myself. I hope to fully commit to those ideals.
I want to stay focus and productive. I want to grow my business and not become complacent. I need to be networking and putting myself out there every week in order to grow. Advice or counsel? Know my worth!
Stop caring what other people think. Do my personal best and stand up publicly for what I believe in. Do ME.
Don't feel guilty to rest. And remember to enjoy your down town. It makes the hard stuff easier
Next year, I turn 40. I want to be happy and healthy by then. No pressure.
I think I need to be patient but not complacent. I can be so impatient on the small day to day things, rushing around frenetically trying to manage everything and often putting more on my plate than is possible to accomplish in a sane manner making me stressed and grumpy. When I schedule less I can mange unexpected situations with more patience and grace. Further, as a result of my frenetic daily pace, I end up feeling complacent or at least, unsuccessful, in long term planning whether it be projects I want to do around the house or even bigger things like deciding on a career move. I'd like to find the space to be more proactive instead of reactive without letting all the small stuff slide as a result. Surely there can be a better balance.
Just roll with it. I recently retired and had great ambitions to get involved in a bunch of projects. I decided to take a step back and just work on things at a pace that was comfortable. I don't have as much accomplished as I envisioned, but I am happier for it as I get into my new groove.
Take a trip, travel to a far away place on my own, even if it's to go to the ocean and rent a motel room for a few days. Meet new people, haven't figured out how to yet, so many have encouraged me to sign up for online dating, just not there yet! Still need to work with Zachary over the $$ issues, I think over this year it's not changed much.
Be BOLD! Be assertive, be active, be positive!!!
I want to get thinner, but I really want to continue to make thoughtful choices about how I use my time. Good friends told me to learn to say 'no,' and I'm doing okay but want to do better!
I would like to become more patient with myself and give myself a break because I'm my harshest critic. I'll get where I have planned in my own time!
Lately people have been telling me to take care of myself. I guess I would further explore what that means. I've spent years organizing around the needs of others and that may have held some reward for both them and me, I think it's time to "stop worrying" about other people's comfort. I'd improve myself by taking more time to exercise, and maybe resuming guitar lessons.
I wish I could have a better life with less on my plate. But it seems that whatever I do, events and other people are going to keep me down.
I would like to become healthier both physically and mentally. I know consistency is important to maintain both. The advice that keeps going through my head is "Start where you are."
My goal for this year is to be more positive and take better care of myself, including dragging myself to the gym on a regular basis.
I would like to feel confident in who I am, my capabilities, truly DIGEST that I'm intelligent and capable of whatever I want and to find something meaningful about every day of my life. I feel like I've been given amazing advice by so many people, but the thing I always go back to is to "do something that scares you daily." Most of my life has consisted of dodging fear, so embracing it, diving in and letting it swallow me is freedom, in and of itself.
Keep up exercise and eating healthy. Perfection does not exist. I must keep building my practices. Meditate daily. Recite prayers. See how that impacts the way I act and view the world. Speak my mind. What I want. Adult discussions. Volunteer. Don't do so many pre-orders this year. :) It gets me stressed about money.
I would like to do better at choosing my commitments. I need to honestly evaluate how much time and effort will be involved down the line. I'm learning to play Mah Jongg and will have to allow for regular games in the future if I'm going to stay with it. My committee work at church often involves more than just the specific jobs I sign up for. I often feel stretched too thin, wishing I had said "no" to something. The words that come to mind are from the Talmud "Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly now. Love mercy now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it."
It will be amazing to be taking on the challenge of earning a new diploma next year ( in a field of study I have never before explored***). Some close friends have encouraged my decision to study by outlining how helpful it can be to trust my intuition and to act in ways that align with what I respect and admire most about others.
Build focus on the two questions that matter: Did I learn to live wisely? Did I live a life of loving kindness? The big question is how do I live daily in order to answer these questions with a yes.
I would like to be brave, ready to take on what is coming for me and do well at it. I'd like to be more honest about who I am to the people around me and not let my thoughts be drown out. I think I'd just like to tell myself to face the future head on, you've gone through difficult struggles and you're not down yet nor will you ever will be. You've got everything you need though that might not be everything you want. Take what you have and do what you can. What you give to the world is what it keeps of you.
Play more. Read more. Get out of the office more. Explore more. I want to use this year of recovery to develop some new habits and improve some old ones. I have learned through my work, through my family and through my own life journey: “LIFE IS SHORT!”
I'd like to become better at creating boundaries. This especially applies to my stepchildren. Also I'd love to become better at following through on tasks. No particular council involved
Tap into my inner warrior goddess! I'd like to be more confident being my sexual self.
I would like to work on being a better listener. Listen more talk less. This applies to my friends, husband, kids and students.
I have given myself permission to be me. To do movement just for me, to improve my movement skills for me, to appreciate all the good movement skills can give me. The advice i received was to appreciate myself and my skills.
I have a plan to focus on health, finances, my job, my family, my son, and to live life to the fullest! I am so grateful for my blessings in life and will continue to appreciate everything that I am blessed to have!
Love yourself. Give thanks for the opportunity to do the work that needs to be done in the place you are from. I have been brainstorming a lot lately, and wrote this out: You are ready. You are loved. You are worthy of love, your own and others. Your pain is valid Your brilliance is evident Do not be afraid.
I would like to resume physical activity on a daily basis. If you can dream it, you can accomplish it.
I would like to feel less stress and pressure and more trusting of the Universe and relaxed. I would like to be more accepting of what is. I would like to continue to let go of any resistance that keeps me from being aligned with my path and of service to Love and all beings. Grant me the ability to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I would like to be involved in a consistent exercise program. There are two modalities I am considering: Tai Chi would be a good for balance, and regular walking would be good for strength.
This year I would like to have a higher self esteem. I think I should put myself more out there which will help me to be more connected to other people.
I would say that acknowledging my hurt parts and loving them, loving myself, is the best piece of advice I could give. I am down right now, admittedly depressed and feeling quite uncertain about where I'll even be when next year rolls around. Courage, compassion, connection, and loving myself are all things I want to focus on this year...one can't go wrong doing that. I would like to be more stable and comfortable in my own skin, find out who I am and be that person without any misgivings about how I live.
I want to exercise more regularly and manage my schedule better.
The piece of advice or counsel I received to guide me: R Sharon Brous, "A way in: A map to the High Holy Days." Specifically - start where you are. I'd like to become the Jew that transcends all the stops along the map to the High Holy Days. Realistically, I'd like to do "better than I can imagine." My project for 5778 is two fold: first, I want to find a way to contribute to my community on political matters that threaten us individually, as a nation, and as Jews. Second, I want to study Judaism. I want to understand how the ideals we listen to on Shabbat and read in the Torah balance with the events in Israel - how can we read & talk about social justice being a sacred command and at the same time create settlements in the West Bank, destroy olive groves belonging to Palestinians, and have a Rabbi serving in the Israeli government who condones violence against Arabs? "It’s not just the right thing to see something/say something. It’s an affirmative obligation on each one of us to protest injustice, to speak out when we witness unfair treatment, discrimination, & cruelty."
Don't let the voices in my head determine who I should be. Be my true self. Get more active
I have no idea where to start. 1) Being on time. 2) Not losing my temper. 3) Thinking of others more and myself less. 4) Being more disciplined in my material and spiritual life. 5) Being more flexible in my material and spiritual life. 6) Not committing to more than I can handle. 7) Shabbos... Whew! It's a relief... not having to be perfect.
I don't think this is what is meant by the question, but I want my foot, which has been bothering me for over 3 months, to get better. I didn't like the advice and counsel I was getting from the first podiatrist I was seeing, so I went to another one, and so far,, his advice appears to be more effective. I'm hoping that by this time next year, this issue will be far behind me. I know that will improve my life. So many things depend on me being able to walk!
Chill out! Remember that I am not obligated to be the cart horse for everyone else's burdens; that joy and receiving love is my birthright.
1) Listen to your anxiety. Watch the weather other people bring to you. If you don't like it, get out. 2) Mature love is energizing. Immature love is exhausting.
I would like to be be healthier, actually I need to be healthier. I had a good talk with a physician assistant at the ER last week, she actually seemed to care about my beyond the incident that brought me there. She recommended a vegetarian diet, which will help me keep kosher. My journey to conversion that I start in a week and a half, will be another piece of the puzzle to get me healthy.
This year I would like to improve in these ways: 1. I want to have more of a relationship with God in the way of His Holy Spirit. I've become unbalanced, more intellectual than spiritual and I feel that this is not right. I pray for discernment to know that it's Him alongside that goal. 2. I want to not be provoked in my flesh or my spirit. I'm a verbal processor, but I'd really like to keep praying things through with God rather than venting and seeking human counsel. When I am not so easily provoked, in that stillness my goal/hope is that I will truly hear what the other party is saying whether outloud or with their behavior. I don't listen; I defend and most of the time it's probably not even about me at all. 3. I want to coach my daughter rather than lead her in a particular way (unless she's in danger of severe sin). She's 18 now and I need to stop guiding her decisions but asking her what she thinks, help her to think it through. If she gets stuck and asks then okay but she needs to start thinking for herself and applying the values she's taken as her own not to mention praying things through herself. I also need to let her branch out, she's not always going to come to me and I need to not take offense but instead pray that she prays things through, puts everything against the Word of God and that God guides her decisions - that she takes heed to what He tells her (sh'ma: listen on purpose with the intention to obey). 4. I want to be a better witness to my dad and my brother specifically. 5. I want to go to weekly prayer at church and faithfully and with gusto volunteer where I'm needed in the church. And I want to be diligent in what I'm given to do - preparing appropriately whether or not work is hectic. What's going on in the church is more important, work can wait - for my personality type this is going to be difficult but with God it is possible. 6. I want to decrease time on the phone and watching TV. With this time reallocated to reading, walking, talking/spending time with people not just family. 7. I want to stop freaking out with stress. It's messing with my stomach and my bowels. Nothing is worth my getting all up in a dither. I need to chill out and take things in stride. I believe what I am there to learn is how to maintain leadership, even when I'm not 110% sure myself but not in a dictatorial way but in a calm, assertive, no nonsense way - like Jesus did. He didn't get all up in a dither...He remained calm, presented the facts and when He didn't know He took a breather and prayed like when He wrote in the sand. Also I am not God, when people tell me their problems I need to stop trying to fix them and give advice. Instead asking people what they think, helping them talk things through like God has always helped me. I need to slow down and make time for people. I'm so into the Martha (the stuff that needs doing) that I neglect the things that really matter...I need to be more like Mary and less like Martha. 8. I want to serve my husband more. I'm incredibly blessed by God to have him as my mate, but he serves me a lot more than I serve him and I was made to be his help meet. This also goes for putting my phone away and not getting preoccupied with things that can wait, to pay attention to him and to be on his schedule for as much as possible (like before he goes to bed be talking, hanging out with him, then when he goes to bed doing stuff if I'm not tired yet. Most of the time he goes to bed alone and unfortunately he gets my left overs.) 9. In that vein and above it, I want to be more present with Adonai when I'm talking to/worshipping Him. Also I haven't had Shabbat like I did at FCC. I'd really like to enter into Shabbat more. I need it so badly. And I'd like to love Him more than I did previous...I'd like to love Him with more of my mind by learning about scripture, learning who He is (I know Him but really know Him - like it's my job or something...when something is given to me for work I really take it to heart and am diligent about it and put a lot of myself into it to do a good job...I want that to be applied to Adonai. I want to be focused on Him when it comes to anything pertaining to Him (prayer, worship, meditation, reading, listening, etc) I also want my worship of Him to be increased, my prayer in the Holy Spirit to be increased, my thanksgiving to Him to be increased, and possibly other offerings as well. 10. In the way of becoming more wholly devoted. I want to come out of the world more. What this looks like to start is diligent Proverbs 31 woman, utilizing my time and talents well, being in prayer, not being a tale bearer (whether gossip or tattle tailing) when I'm in the presence of that I would love to speak up but if I'm not there yet then I want to at least excuse myself and leave, I want to remove anything with any foul language, illusion to perversion/coarse jesting, any scenery that would provoke any sensual anything, no magic, no dragons, and no violence. I want to replace that with sermons on YouTube, biblical movies, family movies within reason (like old Disney but even some Disney no.) For my dress, I wear form fitting shirts. I want to wear looser shirts and I want to wear more skirts/dresses...how I dress I'm going to need help with.
I need to further organize my paperwork, my office, and my life in general. The weight is one part of this total need to exert more control. I need to learn from my wife's stolid and solid example to roll with the attacks life brings me with more calm and ability to say it is OK and we can cope.
This is my problem. To define what I do want. I generally want to make others happy and sort of erased my wishes. Alwaus felt it was the best thing to do. Today Im not so sure.
I've been so blessed in life to really have everything that I need, I feel that I could do more to do help improve the lives of others. Work in partnership with God and carry out the work of Tikkun Olam. Small acts of kindness and goodwill can have ripple effects that we cannot even anticipate. “One part of Judaism called tikkum olam. It says that the world has been broken into pieces. All this chaos, all this discord. And our job – everyone’s job – is to try to put the pieces back together. To make things whole again ... Maybe we’re the pieces. Maybe what we’re supposed to do is come together. That’s how we stop the breaking.”
Be more honest - with myself, with others. Stop trying to please everyone else at my own expense (sometimes, literally). If I want to go someplace, and my husband doesn't want to, I'll catch up with him later. If my kid hurts my feelings, I'll tell him.If I don't like something, I'll say so. Honesty will be my new policy!
Save more. I had the same answer last year but I didn't do a great job of it. Maybe this year I'll actually do it.
"Lead through love" this has been my mantra this year and I will continue it. It came from the wise counsel of one of my spiritual teachers/mentors. I find that when I am in conflictual situations, feeling myself wanting to become parts led, by either, anger, jealously, judgement or embarrassment, I can hear myself say "lead through love" and not only does it help to calm and care for my riled up parts but it begins to shift the dynamic between myself and person I am engaged in discussion with.
I would like to lose 10 pounds. I'd like to focus more on listening in the moment rather than planning logistics. And I'd like to banish the bitterness in my language and demeanor when I am frustrated.
I hope and hope to work at zero-assholeness. It comes from anxiety and probably other emotional/psychological defects. All I can do is be vigilant. I've never received advice and don't know of any way to reduce it other than vigilance. The anxiety and other issues will always be with me.
I want to work on my addiction to measuring my success in financial terms, and my addiction to receiving the approval from others. I understand that my addictions are me distracting myself from a core need or desire, something that aligns with my soul. I understand they provide temporary comfort, but I quickly cycle into wanting more. I understand I feel shame around these addictions. I beat myself up over them because at their core I find them distasteful. I want to measure my success in terms of living a meaningful and joyful life, and I want to love myself and be comfortable with myself. I understand that my addictions, maybe most importantly, take me away from enjoying life and being in the present. What will I do to work on these addictions? I need to work on letting myself feel the sadness and pain that has welled up inside of me. The sadness and pain that results from constantly seeking the approval and love of others. The sadness and pain from constantly worrying about whether I have upset someone, and the deep seated sense of tiredness that comes from that anxiety. I need to allow myself to feel the sadness and pain that comes from feeling I am somehow less than others, those childhood memories that continue to haunt me. I need to hold my shame with self compassion. That is not easy for me. My critical voice can be very strong.
I would like to improve my ability to read and learn. This is something that I have struggled with in the past and I think it's taken a toll on my psyche. I think I can push myself at work and make more money, but my inability to focus takes a toll. I saw this today and it made a lot of sense to me "6 months from now, you can be in a completely different space mentally, spiritually, physically, or financially. Keep working and believing in yourself."
I would like my inner voice to give me more credit for the good shit I'm doing. :) A little less shit-talking, and a little more understanding. I am still feeling a little like an imposter. I want to live outwardly in a way that is more harmonious with, and true to nature of, my insides. Two & a 1/2 months from now, I will have spoken at PechaKucha (nailed it!) That, I presume, will be my first of many public speaking engagements, but there is a part of me that is not as quiet as I'd like, about who the fuck am I to be on a stage? - seeking attention - thinking I have something worthy to say. UGH. My cerebral areas know what's up. It's that nagging other part of me that I would like to try to cope with/manage/get rid of/embrace/idkwtf...
Stop hitting the snooze button and start work at 8am. Keeping a regular work schedule. Get a new alarm clock and put the alarm walking distance from my bed.
I feel like I say this every year, but I just want to feel more confident and comfortable next year. I want to be more sure of myself.
I learned that my value is independent of peoples' ability or willingness to value me. I learned that my lovability is separate from peoples' love. My challenge is to value and to love myself, to listen to, follow, and follow through with myself.
I need to do what my dad said, Mind my own business!
The thing I'm praying for the most this year is patience. I'm not a patient person and now that I'm in a residency I get annoyed with other people far too easily when I should be here to learn. I don't think I have any pieces of advice to help guide me, but I'm looking.
I want to become a better listener. Say less. Smile more.
I would like to become less judgemental internally, and I would like to learn to brag less. I can't think of a specific piece of advice or counsel, but I know that I am passionate about changing, so I hope that will guide me.
communication... set boundaries... I very much need to work on this and I encourage others to do so.
I would like to have less regrets on a day-to-day basis. I would like to calmer and not get agitated about everything that I see that isn't the way I would like it to be.
In general, I'm pretty happy with my life as it is. Maybe have my garden better planned and organized! As for myself, a continuation of last year's answer - feel into myself more, feel into others more. In short, learn to listen better, not only to what others say, but to listen inwardly as they speak, and also to listen better within myself, relying less on the quick answers of my mind and more on what arises from inner silence and spaciousness. Listen always. Bawa, Thomas, and Michael all speak to this.
Next year, I would like to be more in control - of my medication especially and my mental health. I want to make time for ME - whether it is going to gym (JCC), taking the right dosage of medication, continuing and growing from therapy, being more patient with my husband and not "assuming" he can read my mind whenever I am upset. I want to continue being a good person, good wife, good mother and good daughter as well as friend. But remember the major priorities in life (social media is NOT one).
Continue to activate my right brain. From Jay Lombard DO: Activating our right hemisphere is the key to intutition creativity and often happiness too, especially if what you are creating is making you happy too!
I would like to figure out how to blend my passion and skills and values to find my next big career move. I would like to continue moving towards better health and more daily movement.
There are so many things I want to improve... the top four: I want my focus to be on Jesus. I know that all other pursuits will fall into place if I am focused on Him. I want to spend time reading His Word each morning and growing in prayer throughout the day. I want to make eye contact with my children more often. I believe that if I spend more time making eye contact, focused on them and getting to know them, it will help improve my lack of patience and help grow their sense of security. I want to grow in my grasp of the serenity prayer: understanding what is within my control and what is not. I want to acquire a vocational focus because it would be so helpful for our family to have another means of financial provision.
I'd like to apply good portions of what I learned in my Mindful Birthing course to my everyday life. Lots of this will overlap with the kinds of principles that are reinforced with yoga. I think these practices will help with having a baby and remembering to live in the present moment, because that's where kids always live.
I want to treat everyone well, equally, in an exalted fashion. I want to react to every individual as if they are the most precious, beloved, welcomed blessing in my life! I want to treat everyone as if they are who they actually are, a spark of the One. Oh yes, lots of kabbalistic texts, but it hasn't taken hold yet.
I wish I could answer people who are not sure climate change is real, and let them know succinctly that it is real and how every little bit helps to reverse the damage we do.
I would like to have more financial stability. I would like to further develop my creative voice and vision. I want to keep creating, no matter what happens!
I would like to Not feel like a victim anymore. I'd like to feel loved, and know that everything happens for me. Nothing and no one wants anything but my best interest. Hashem is watching over me. Hashem loves me. I want to internalize it and feel it at all times.
I want to stop being so focused on myself and how I’m faring in the world. Less Facebook, less thinking about the way I’m being regarded by my board, my peers, strangers. I want to just focus on being centered and present and what the world might offer that is bigger than me.
i want to get good grades do nifty and hang out with friends
I would like to become a kinder person, both in my thoughts and in my deeds. I need to turn off the critical judgemental voice in my head and start to focus more on other people rather than on me. Sometimes I feel like Pharoah, with a hardened heart. I would like to soften my heart and naturally embody more kindness and compassion. There are many kind people in my world, and I will look to their examples to guide me.
I'd like to improve my way of getting things done. Hope we as a family can spend more time together and grow together.. Family is everything to me,I meed us to build on us as a family unit..
I'd like to workout in different ways other than simply yoga and walking. I'd like to get my body in prime shape. I'd like to get better at communication and writing ..also public speaking. know what my message is. advice or counsel...no... go after your dreams..life is short
Keep mothering yourself and taking the best care of yourself that you can. Primary in that is treating yourself with love, and figuring out what your needs are and how to address them in a healthy, productive way. =)
I would truly like to learn how to relax and let go and to accept things for the way they are.
By end of next year I should seriously start house hunting in the west. Over the past year, I should have been saving diligently every month and saved up sufficient funds to purchase a resale condo and move in by early 2018. So looking forward to this!
I'd like to create better work/life balance. The best advice I've received on this was, "Balance is not something that's given to you. It's something you create."
Get in better shape. Spent a lot of time working on a renovation for my grandparents property that passed away many years ago for the benefit of the family. For this I received a small portion 2 1/2% set of future profits. Totally not worth it. Not only because of the small amount of money that it will result in but also the amount of aggravation. The contractor was a boob and my cousin would not fire him. But more than that my family did not take my advice. I did a lot of work on this and felt unappreciated. I guess my advice to myself is that not to get involved in such a morass. And if I find something similar is just to get out quickly. I was very stressed out and did not have an opportunity to work out and enjoy myself going to the gym with taking trips. Well they were always going on vacation.
I would like to improve my life in the next year by putting myself first. Go back to Yoga, be present when I’m with Family and friends, focus at work, make new friends, trust more, move forward with my life. Find happiness.
I would like to let go of putting pressure on myself about finding a relationship. I would like to not worry about being alone, and truly accept myself and my current relationship status. Additionally, I want to be able to realize that even with a partner, I will still face many challenges and I will still have many "alone" moments.
Don't need to improve. Life is pretty good. I'm very pleased to have largely emotionally withdrawn from facebook and social media generally. Would like more free weekends though to go camping with Moose.
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good; that is, don't let the fear of failing or not doing well enough keep you from trying things you long to do. To improve my life, I need to break the self-imposed shackles that keep me from venturing out of my ever-constricting comfort zone. I need to risk putting myself out there knowing it might mean rejection. I've become timid and let fear control me for far too long now. I need to define my goals and make plans to reach them instead of letting others guide my actions.
I hold a great deal of stress. I'd like to boost my Zest. Try to swim more often and invite more people to our house.
I would like to be healthy and exercise. I would like to have a better relationship with my spouse's family. I would like to think of others first. I would like to get in touch with old friends. I would like to be in good mood even when I am tired.
Become more efficient with my notes for work, so they take less time from other parts of my life...
I would like not to worry so much about money and having time, and to have the faith for things to be alright no matter what the situations are. I would like to be confident that I'm where I'm supposed to be. That I'm working on and realising my full potential when it comes to personal life, work, relationship and health. One piece of advice that stuck with me this year is one of Ramit's quote in his latest book: "getting stuck is normal, but winners grow anyway." I think as type A high performer, we're accustomed to thinking of failures as, failures. When it's just a signal to keep trying.
Be kinder. Exercise, eat right, no smoking, meditate.
Hopefully I can run Ragnar in the next year!
For next year, I would like to be a more social person and outgoing person. While I may seem like an outgoing person in school, I feel that a lot of the time, outside of school, I'm a pretty shy and awkward person. By next year, I would like to try and improve that so I am more of an outgoing person.
To have more compassion and empathy. "Those who know better, do."
i need to be more assertive in all areas of my life and take better care of myself. i am trying to do a better job at work and i am trying to demonstrate more self care when dealing with my family, acquaintances and friends.
Still working on letting go of things. People. Things and people not meant for me. When I see myself trying too hard, pushing for things to happen, I know logically that it shouldn't be THAT HARD. My advice to anyone else would be to let go...but I can't take my own advice! I still fall victim to the false belief that if I just try hard enough...say the right magical thing...I need to realize it's fantasy. And let go.
I am working to improve my focus, streamline my goals and increase my commitment to my daily actions to meet my goals. At present i am struggling with those things, mostly with my fitness and health refine. My purpose for coming to China was to both her clarity on my life direction and lessons thus far, but to allow myself to set a clear idea of what i want to come next/ set my "retirement" plan. The advice is not the issue- as i know what i need to do- am ready to move forward no matter how bored, lazy, overwhelmed i feel ( the excuses/reasons/fear)about taking action.
I would like to be more brave. I'm starting to speak out, and I'm starting to find my voice, but I still care about what other people think, and I worry about offending them by sharing my convictions. This year, I'd like to stop tiptoeing around people and put myself out there, like it or not, it's who I am. I'll take my piece of advice from Helen Mirren, "At 70 years old, if I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to use the words 'fuck off' much more frequently."
No. I would not like to improve myself. I would like to practice radical self acceptance, including embracing my body as it is.
I would like to be on my smartphone much less this year. To be present for people. I also would like to be more in contact with others: friends, family, and mentors. To be present in the moment.
I'd like to be more focused at work , create systems that will help the operation run smoothly and more profitable. Also be able to make more personal time for wife and myself
Next year at this time I will be a grandmother. I can't imagine how that might change me, but I truly hope that it changes me for the better. I want to be non-- intrusive with my children. I want to be a person who can stand up for myself. I am getting better at that but I still have a ways to go.
Continue exercising. Do another 5K, grow my oil business, travel, travel , travel!!
I Want to be able to follow through better. Complete tasks on time. Not work - personal. I put off things too often.
I haven't had any advice in the past year, but I want to improve my life by getting time and priorities straightened out. I'd love to be happier or at least a little more at peace with my life.
I would like to save to go on a trip to France. I want to take care of myself, body, mind, soul. I want to remind myself that having a spouse is not the end goal, I can be ok.
I would like to be kinder to people, especially members of my family. I would like to be more appreciative of the many wonderful parts of my life rather than noticing what is missing. I would like to be more consistent with meditating again. It's not joy that brings us gratitude; It's gratitude that brings us joy. When you are unhappy with something that happened to you, go help someone else...
Don't procrastinate. Same goal as every year. But I don't change that much.
I would like to improve myself by finding more joy & happiness in my life & the world as a whole. Most people, myself included emphasize the negative things. Listen to the protesters chanting rage & antisemitism & anti almost everything. I grew up in the 50's & 60's & our music was protesting the "establishment" but also about love & peace. If we can all find something of joy in our lives, I believe the world would be a better place. I didn't reach my 10# weight loss last year, so this year I will like myself as I am and maybe that well get the rest off.
I would like to be a better father, and if my relationship continues, a better partner. I need to be more present, especially with my daughter, she needs me.
Now that Im living in a new city I would like to make new friends, and this isnt something that comes easy for me because my models weren't such that people were to be trusted, men were not my supposed to be my friends they were supposed to be my competitors--either I was to win or lose. Its very difficult for me though I want friends very much. I see people everyday at a meeting place and I like them very much and Id call them the closest thing to my friends, some of them Ive gotten to know over the past 6-9 months or so. And I dont plan on going anywhere so I expect that to deepen. I hope so. Id also like a partner, a woman and Ive heard that as you get older things that were important when you're younger arent as important as you age. Im trying to take that into consideration as I date and fight off my demons which can take shape in many forms.
I would like to more concertedly focus on my personal life, specifically dating, improving financial wellbeing and investing in my community. I think the most helpful piece of advice I've received is that, if you know what you want, you're halfway there.
I need to lose weight for my health and get back to exercising more regularly. I am doing this as I counsel myself on it, with all the Heart disease in my family. Made me decide this on my own.
I would like to continue the healthy lifestyle - eating properly, working out, and taking courses that I have been doing these last few years. If there's anything I would like to improve it is three items: Pay off my credit cards fully each month; Be kinder to Judy get more involved in the community beyond my synagogue.
I would like to get a Cornish tutor and be more diligent and fluent with Cornish. I did better this year than I have before.
So many different ways I want to improve myself...tying it in to good advice and counsel I've received: -practice processing negative emotions...sometimes I have to go through that tunnel, through that emotion that I don't want to go through...but it too shall pass once I properly process it. -be more disciplined with money. invest wisely, and spend wisely. -learn how to analyze what I think about something, and articulate that in an emotionally healthy way -be 100% okay without a man in my life...totally secure, confident, and fulfilled.
In this next year, I want to learn how to love myself. I want to be able to be happy on my own and be okay with who I am. I want to make better friends in college and change my life. And in the past year I learned that I don't want to die and that dying won't fix anything.
I want to improve my life by thinking about what I want and taking care of myself.
Two things... 1) I have read more self help books than are really good for a person. I have no lack of advice, no lack of good advice. 2) If you took every 'new years resolution' list I have made, or thought of making, or noted in my head, since the age of 13 and compared them, they would look almost identical. Given that the exact issues seem to come up over and over again, what to do. Hard goals, soft goals, practices? What is the answer to moving forward in a way I want to, of becoming the me I want to be? After 54 years we can look at the above two points and come to the conclusion that I have no idea. I'm accept that for awhile and just sit with and see where I end up.
Listen more. Really take time to hear what others are saying and ask questions. It's the only way to learn.
I give myself the best advice: just do it. Now if I can only take it!
Say yes more. Face fear on the face more.
I would like to better compartmentalize school, my job and my personal life in my mind which I think would do wonders in keeping me sane. I also want to make sure that I do fun things enough and not work all the time. Maybe "Nobody remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep." I should study more but also go out more.
Be clearer about my limits and what's valuable to me. Even if something is worth reading / doing, I need to understand that I cannot read / do everything that I want. Accept my limitations.
I would like to be physically stronger and more resilient
The piece of advice that I am hanging onto right now is this: If you think you need more bins or tubs to organize your life/stuff, what you really need is to have less stuff. My desire is to grow toward a more minimal lifestyle.
The only advice people have given me this past year was to enjoy the time with our child as she is now. This is great advice, but not something I needed to be told as I spend as much time with her as I can. However to improve myself and well being, I need to increase the interaction with other adults. Either by work, turning a hobby into work. Something that allows me to to share quality time with the baby and mentally improves me as well.
I would like to be calmer in the upcoming year. Less stress, more organized, more on top of the details of my life and job. Also, in better shape, physically.
A piece of advise I got from Pat. Listen more then you talk. Continue to be kind, do you judge or place my judgement on others.
Be steadfast. Be loving. Be wise. Do not take on more than you can do. Go outdoors and look at the sky.
I would like to be more patient and to take things less personally. I would also like to be more assertive and decisive. The most influential piece of guidance I have received is the notion of being a kind woman rather than a nice girl. The former involves speaking the truth in a direct way even when it's not pleasant.
I would like to be a better mom. My kids are very different from me, yet each is so wonderful as they are. But I worry that I have not set a strong enough moral standard for them, encouraging them to think about what it will mean to live a good and just life. As they grow into adults, I would like to find a better balance between loving them as they are and having the patience and kindness to encourage them to reflect, even just a little bit more, on what it will mean to live a good life. I don't want to "twist them to fit my own image" (Thomas Merton) but I do want to be a guide and a confidant for them as they navigate young adulthood.
I want to be better listener. I heard a podcast report on listening that claimed two things that hit home for me. 1) Humans are largely emotional and not logical. I had imagined that being logical was an obvious target for humans, and that being emotional was something to be aware of, but not something largely leading us as individuals. 2) Humans have a strong need to be heard. I've been exploring a very conservative cousins FB page, and toyed with various ways of responding to what seem to be unthinking and knee jerk reactions. I now want to respond in ways that are perceived to provide the chance for these folks to be heard by yours truly!
I see the same failings from year to year: Clutter, disorganization, over-commitment leading to under-performance, priorities such as diet and exercise pushed aside for work or much-needed relaxation. If I don't stop following this trajectory, I will end up where I'm going. The best advice I received was from myself. It is as follows: If something makes you very anxious, you probably shouldn't be doing it. Or you are not qualified to do it. Or you need to find someone to help you do it. Or it is keeping you from what you should be doing. Listen to your anxiety, it has a reason for being, and that is a warning that this is not the best path for you to follow.
I need to just be more outgoing. Freshman year of high school, I was new and I LITERALLY did not say a word to anybody. The next year however, I decided to start talking and now I’m probably the most well known person on campus currently. Now that next year I’ll be a freshman in college, I need to apply what I learned Sophomore year so I don’t repeat what happened in freshman year.
No advice that I didn't give myself....I'd like to do more traveling. I'd like to accept my 'faults' ,more easily, so that I can move past them.
I want to eat less and be less dependent on food. I want to eat just when I'm hungry. I was told this year to be compassionate with myself. I try to remind myself of that when I put myself down.
Be patient. Don't question everything at work, just go along for the ride. Be there for your family and thank them often. Express gratitude as much as possible. Smile.
Set up an on-line school. Stop procrastination, do the relevant course and go for it.
I would like to learn how to manage my anxiety. I just need to recognize that, with regard to work, I can do it. I think this is slowly sinking in, 10 years into my job. But I need to manage my sleep and not let myself be consumed by anxiety so much...I get compulsive... In terms of a piece of advice or counsel that has been important, it's A's asking me, when I was fretting about how I am completely not in control of elements of my life having to with L and L, "are we ever really in control?" At first I chafed against the implications of this. But I need to think more about it and perhaps let it guide me, because there might be a way in which it can help assuage my anxiety.
In addition to advancing vocationally (regardless of whether it's in my current job), I'd like to be more in the moment, savoring and acting on all that this presence enables. I've been told that life flies by and in turn that one should enjoy it more. I've also been told to not take life nor oneself too seriously. And I've seen the positive effects of following this maxim. Now, to see if I can be patient enough to practice it myself…
During Springboard training, Heather told us to see every student's words as a sacred text. I would love to incorporate this idea into my life with everyone I meet. If I can see everyone's words as a sacred text, I will become a better listener and be more open to new ideas as a result.
I would like to stress less and recognize that I cannot have control over everything that happens around me, so I need to let go and know that everything will be okay. The other day a friend said to me the Spanish phrase "lo que será, será" which roughly translates as what will be will be or whatever happens happens. I hope that in the coming year I can do better at accepting the things I cannot change and instead focusing my energy on positive things happening in my life rather than whatever is stressing me out that I likely cannot do anything about.
I have been trying to improve my leadership skills at work and was fortunate to take a class this month that was fantastic and taught me to create a leadership philosophy that defines me and that I will share with my staff. I want very much to be s better leader, to have respect and a great relationship with each of my employees, and to have my own work organized, complete and timely. I have a lot of plans to make this happen and i must successfully execute these plans. I seek a lot of information and what has been a top priority for me has been that a good leader only says yes when they know they can fulfill their commitment and that following through to completion is essential for authority, trust, accountability, and reliability.
1. As with training a puppy, one must continually pull the puppy off a couch, area it’s not supposed to pee, away from food, etc. and put it in the right place until it learns. In mindfulness meditation, you have to keep bringing your attention back to the present moment, and that is the practice. 2. One way to think about meditation is that you are standing on a river bank, watching the river rush by. The river is your thoughts. You don’t jump into the river even if it looks nice because you will be carried away and carried downstream, but you want to remain put. Pay attention to the river— it may be beautiful and peaceful, and it may also be turbulent and murky. But you don’t not look at the river just because it is one way or the other— it is pure nature and you must pay attention to it either way. You must be continually aware of where it is, and you want to keep your distance from it. You cannot ignore its presence, because if you did, you may end up accidentally falling into it. 3. You must think of meditation as a way to grow your mind’s muscle. If neurons fire together, they wire together. You have neuroplasticity, and you can reshape the way that your brain reacts to situations. You can train yourself to become more empathetic, and studies have shown that people who meditate a lot have enlarged brain areas/stronger neuro-pathways that demonstrate a physically greater capacity for empathy 4. Following certain thought patters is just like walking on a path through the forest— the more you walk on it, the more defined the path becomes. If you stop walking on it, grass grows back over it. This is important to keep in mind to avoid following negative trains of though and instead focus on positive ones. It is important to not catastrophize because you will create habits of mind of wandering down negative thinking paths
I want to improve on focusing fully on the task at hand, in order to do all things (personal, professional) properly through the first time. All my life I've done things without a lot of care the first time, only to have to go back and do it again slowly. I want to do things slowly and with intention the first time through, rather than quickly and sloppily, resulting in poor quality work or second tries. Just take it all one bite at a time- bite, chew, swallow. On to the next thing.
I'd like to build more space in my life for myself; for things that I enjoy and are important to me. People always say that you can't care for others if you don't take care of yourself first, and that is starting to feel very true. I feel like after 3+ years of being a parent, I have lost a lot of what was important and enjoyable to me, and it has left me feeling pretty hollow. Cooking again, swimming, yoga, cross-stitching, going back to the chiropractor, finding a primary care doctor- any of these in a substantial way would be great.
My daughter who struggles with her wright said she decided she is grown up now (45 at time) and said she is old enough to just be in control with her eating. And, to date, she has lost almost 50 pounds. I am 68......come on, you're old enough too to manage your eating.
I would like to be a much more Spiritually connected person to my soul. The counsel I have- live with integrity; allow, meditate on love, recognize your true self, pray- just Pray- We are all going to die- breathe- Trust- you are enough- bow down to judgement- And what if judgment was simply another word for Assessment? - Be- Become.- release- let go- you are brave- you have potential
I recently lost 10 lbs due to exercise and cutting back on my intake and I feel so much better, so I would like to continue that. Especially the exercising- it takes away some of the stress of my life!
I'm working on my 3 words: Care, Choices, Consistency. I'd like to improve in all of these areas. For guidance: plan plan plan plan plan. Those Top3s are amazing!
I want to be cancer free this time next year, be back in shape and not feel embarrassed by how old and flabby I look. I also want my marriage to be better and for my husband to be happy with me again.
I will take more seriously my responsibility to be generous with love. I have seen the effects of carelessness on my sister, and the way nuclear families can take up the oxygen that every relationship needs to thrive. It can be very difficult for those who are cut out, even by forgetfulness rather than malice. This is why I need to be mindful and open with my love and affection- a little bit goes a long way.
The same as last year: One breath at a time; one step at a a time, one day at a time. Nothing is permanent.
I am enjoying strengthening my self-discipline. I finally came to the realization that no one was going to motivate me to turn off the tv and write every day, it's going to have to be self-instigated. Life is made up of the choices you make, so if you don't like the way your life is going, make different choices. It sucks some people get access to more resources than others, but wallowing in unfairness isn't going to help me accomplish my goals. Keep on creating the life you want for yourself, always ignore the doubters.
I’d like to trust myself more, to honor and love my body the way it is, to walk with my head heald high, to try and be more organized, to get my apartment to look like a home, to go out more, to have fun more, to write more. I think “fake it till you make it” is a great advice I got given a while back and didn’t really listen to, I should listen more when people try to help me.
I'd like to be curious about something and dive into it.
Hmm, I would like to continue to build a healthy lifestyle, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I don't have any advice. I'll simply do what I think is best and carry on from there.
Since having a child I have come to understand much more about Emotional Intelligence, it's importance, and how to help instill it in my child. More recently I have come to understand more how these same principles apply to our adult relationships. I would like to continue down this path to help guide decisions about how to best raise my children as well as how to manage conflict and create connection in my relationship with my husband.
I want to be physically healthier. Just because I /can/ eat it doesn't mean I /should/ eat it. And just walking 5 minutes a day and then increasing by 5 minutes each week until I'm at 60 minutes a day is an easily attainable goal.
See my answer to the previous question: I'm working to get out of my professional rut. I want to feel usefull and gain some satisfaction from the work I do. Hopefully, by this time next year, things will have changed for the better. (Not that they are so terrible right now, mind.)
I would like to try to stop stressing about the small things. Someone told me that if I don't let it bother me, it won't continue to be something that stresses me out. Obviously, that's logical, but it's so true. I need to be more ready to live in the moment.
Health and fitness. As I'm galloping towards 70, I want to be as physically and mentally fit as possible. This means making changes that I'm probably not going to like as my relationship to exercise is so close to hatred that it's not funny.
I'd like to work on my relationships this year. I know this isn't one of my strongest areas in life and I want to strengthen my connection to the people who are important to me.
I would like to improve myself physically - I have an ongoing health problem - I can't always work around it but would like to try harder to do so and get fitter.
A lot and there are too many to mention. Probably to be better with finances and completely remove the lazy out of my system. Some of the advice is to not dwell on whether or not you'll feel/do something but to just decide immediately to do things. If it's not a "Hell Yeah!" it's a No.
Well, I pretty much answered that in Question 6. I do take to heart my mother's oft-repeated counsel: Life's too short to waste it worrying over (fill in the blank). I take it heart, but I don't always put it into practice.
I would like to continue in my self development and healing from all the trauma to becoming the best person I can. I think the best advice I received this last year was to keep my head above the fray and move forward with dignity. Accoring to people in the community, I have been successful. It's important to me that I continue to feel at peace and comfortable enough to hold my head up and walk tall. The silent prayer at the end of the amida has been foundational for me this past year as a daily meditation- Elohai N'txor
I am still struggling with the balance between "me time" and "family time." I'd like to find more things to do that allow for both, without such a clear divide. Turning off electronics is an excellent piece of advice for this, even if I'm the only one who does it.
I need to learn how to make myself work reliably, methods to avoid getting distracted by the internet or running errands or hanging out with friends when I know I have things to do. It could be that the best way to do this is have someone (probably A) keep me accountable until I can do it myself, or to find a way to shift my values to caring about whether or not people respect me in my job. I'll have to bring this up in counseling, but I feel it's one of the weaker aspects of my personality.
I want to further develop my meditation practice and let it inform every aspect of how I live. I want to come into my own vocationally and make peace with my role and my place in the scheme of work. There hasn't been a specific piece of advice, but a lot has come at me.
I am going to put more faith in myself. My hunny says that I need to trust myself and him and stop listening to other people so much and he's totally right. I need to stand up for myself more and stop being so walked on all the time.
I want to speak less and listen more.
I want to have a healthier balance. I can't function in the extremes anymore. While there were many benefits to my highs, they inevitably lead to crippling lows. "You can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it."
I would like to follow my own advice that I wrote about in my RH2 d'var. I would like to continue to divest myself of emotional baggage that keeps me from being able to move forward and turn and return to my true self. Knowing that beginning, with baby steps, to move forward is the first step to doing this.
I would like to have less emotional stress from work and enjoy home life more. I would like to be more fit and have more energy.
I want to improve my writing by trying to write a play.
Last year I said two things - get back into shape and be a better cook. Yay me for #1! I have not been in this good of shape for a while. And I am getting back into the habit of going to the gym for cardio (vs Pilates/strength) and increasing my # of steps throughout the week... I feel great! So my two things this year. Cooking again. Yes - I want to do that. To be a less lazy cook and to cook for other people. And therapy. The level of freaked out I was when I worried that I wouldn't "get" either that MassArt job or Thomas wasn't good. No advice or counsel - that's actually what I'm looking for.
I received "advice" from a fall after having drunk too much that sent me to the hospital, cost $6000, and kept me out of the gym for 3 months. I got this "advice" from my younger brother's death from the same cause. I need to improve this.
I want to keep working towards mindfulness and letting go of things that are outside my control. This would improve me and my life in too many ways to count. I have received advice and counsel from a wise woman, but there's no one piece that I want to share. That being said, I also want to get orthodonture this next year, and spend more time on creative pursuits.
Get rid of stuff is the advice received loud and clear. Self improvement will include stretching every day to let stuff go and to star etch my mind/memory/mood/magic/moments/meaning
I want to improve my networking and prospecting skills in the coming year. This includes improving my executive presence and being a better listener, asking better questions. I'm also working on being a better husband by being more present for my wife.
Music in a wild and native way. Being the musician I was destined to be, now that I've discovered how that is and why I had fear.
I would like to stop being so skittish about life. I’d like to leave perfectionism and my fear of other people behind. I’d like to learn how to fail, to try, and to not feel as if being bad at something is a reflection on my worth as a person. I’d like to expand my understanding of what it means to be a person in the world, and what kind of person I am. I’d like to fit my actions better with my philosophy.
Sustained yoga and physical activity. Working smarter and less. I listened to a book on the plane back from Italy about scrum and I am really inspired to create a more balanced, disciplined life of work and leisure. The past year has been a lot of changes and I look forward to creating more stasis and routine.
I would like to be sure of who I am and what I want to do. I know the things that make me happy and make me feel that life is worthwhile, so by continuing those pursuits, my happiness should increase. When I went on my wilderness trip, they said that my real trip starts after I leave - it's how I approach life. I hope that I can approach life optimistically and with drive every day.
I would like to be more decisive, more confident, and take better care of my health. I want to find balance in my life and I want to be more patient with my children. I have to keep remembering that my kids will only be little once and that they're still learning the world. I also would like to remember that not everything has to be an indulgence--meaning I don't need to eat the whole box of cookies. Have one or two! I don't have to shop every time there is a sale!
I want to be in much better health next year. I need to get my weight down and my blood sugars down. My main approach to this is that now that I am in a better place, I can afford better food, and I feel better about myself.
I want to be more spiritual. To learn to be centered within myself; while accepting others for who they are. From the Oberlin reunion, one of my takeaways was that people were more concerned with how they are going to BE. They were less concerned about what they were going to do. That awareness of how I want to BE is guiding this effort.
I'd like to make some healthier lifestyle choices that stick. I've been physically active this past year, trying to walk at least 10,000 steps a day, and swimming whenever I can. Once summer is over, however, my physical activity tends to decline a bit, and I'd like to step it up. Also, I'd like to start reducing my sugar intake, which will be hard, as I have a sweet tooth. I've eliminated coffee creamers entirely, but I still crave sweets, especially ice cream! I'd like to focus a bit more on my marriage, and not take Eileen for granted. A little spice is nice. Advice I've received that I'd like to follow is to live every day to its fullest. It is sometimes hard to do that when I'm working and tired when I get home, but it is good advice. Also, to spend more time being involved in people's lives. You never know how long you'll have to be with them.
Don't look at what others are doing. Everyone has its own path. You can be inspired but DO YOUR OWN THING. Propose, love, serve, give, take care, meditate, go for your own dreams
I would like to focus on new habits for: Exercise routine Self educational activities Sleep hygiene The only thing I have learned is that as I have gotten older, establishing the discipline of new habits is harder. I think I need to have a guide, counselor, buddy or partner. New Years are good barometers for focus.
I am very good at acquiring new knowledge but turning that into wisdom/action that demonstrates I've really integrated that knowledge is less common. Most imporant: I think continue to take time to explore my own needs and thoughts is essential. Then having the courage to pursue actions that will fulfill those needs is #2. in reference to my own happiness hard to imagine anything else being more important.
In the coming year, more focus and being more grounded would be such welcome areas of self-improvement. Specifically, I would spend time and energy on the most important aspects of life, including family, friends and critical work efforts and relationships. I would prioritze with consistency. Date nights, musical flights, travel, laughter, loving, success at work within consensus criteria -- those are a few possible directions. I recall an buddhist aphorism: Eat when hungry; sleep when tired. That's the grounding. A friend suggested: Just enjoy yourself, this is the time in life when you can do that. There's the focus!
I hope my life...body, soul, and spirit...are improved in this coming year. I want to continue to lose weight (so far since July 31,2017 until today September 27, 2017 I have lost 28.4 pounds. PTL!) and become more healthy. I pray I reach my goal of 100 pound weight lose down to 192.2 pounds. I also pray I don't have a lot of extra skin or wrinkles. I want to have more stamina and strength. I hope to learn Spanish and to find a good part time job that pays good and that I enjoy. I hope I am closer to God and that Rodney and I are serving him together on the outside. I know there is more I'm just not thinking of right now.
- physical condition: - loose wt - start/maintain an exercise routine - research/initiate some sort of cont ed that is not directly associated with my career
I really loved the line from Amy Poehler's book, Yes Please, "Good for You; Not for Me". I struggle with being judgmental at times/all the time! Understanding that what works for me does not work for everyone is a concept I need to grasp.
I was told to listen to those around me that might not be there much longer. As my mom wrestles with her own mortality, it is important to listen, really hear what she's saying to me. As far as improving myself, I'd need to grow some will power to do the things I really want to do.
I would like to drink a little less, smoke a little less and do a little more exercise, including dancing. I would also like to volunteer a little more and focus more on others. As for advice, I would like to listen to what Stephen King has mentioned time and again; look to children and how they think, feel and react to the situations they're put in. Sometimes THEY have the answer.
I'd like to be more spontaneous and comfortable with myself. I already improved a lot in this respect, but I know I can do more. Most importantly, I *want* to do more, not because it'd make me more acceptable in the eyes of others but because I deserve to live free.
I am already working diligently on my self-care, again. I let it slip in that disaster of a job in the last year and I am taking the first few weeks that I'm not working to really focus on getting myself better. I am keeping in mind the pieces from Avot that I included last year: If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when? Do not say, "When I free myself from my obligations, then I will study." What if you never free yourself? I am also trying to remember Simcha Bunim's messages from the two pockets: bishvili nivrah ha'olam - for my sake the world was created and v'anochi afar va'eifer - I am but dust and ashes.
I will be more physically, emotionally and cognitively ‘fit’: a lean, mean, productive ‘machine’. I will exercise control over my time consistently. I have already adopted a stoic mindset, and been listening to various podcasts that promote detachment/emotional control: Joe Rogan, Tim Ferriss, TED, etc.
More self care. More sleep. More relaxation. More connection. More sex. More balance.
I want to be more open, vulnerable and trusting without fear of recrimination. The best advice I've received around this is to work on being less defensive. It's an ongoing process and work that feels well worth doing.
I would like to improve my relationships - with money, with myself, and possibly with other people. I would like to add more art in my life. Advice... just breathe. I need to do that more consciously. Oh.. and stop drinking.
I would like to focus on awareness - being present in the moment. I've taken classes, listened to podcasts - I just have to integrate it into my life.
I would like to work less and enjoy life more. I'd like to commit to exercising and being healthier physically, emotionally and mentally. I would like to be a better partner and a better parent. Don't sweat the small stuff needs to be my daily mantra.
Work more. There is no other way to succeed. Just keep yourself curious and develop your existing skills.
I would like to be less selfish, less vain, and less egocentric when relating to others. I would like to be a better friend, spouse, and parent. I would like to be a more supportive and less competitive coworker. I would like to be a nurturing teacher who is invested in TRULY making good dancers, not so that people can say that I'm a good teacher but so that they can go anywhere in the world and dance well. I would like to be about making things good, and making things right, not about making MY things good and right.
I would like to improve my life by finding the motivation or the sheer will to do the things I don’t want to do.
I would like to get back in shape and lose weight, and also maybe find someone who likes me and form a relationship with them. The problem regarding the other part is, I don't really feel an extreme need to search someone, and I'm not exactly the type of guy women flock to for relationships.. I've read somewhere that 'people like you when they see that you like them'. I like people - most of the time - but have trouble showing it, due to shyness. So maybe, if I remove some of my (many) internal defenses about not looking too goofy, things will improve in that regard.
The intention I set for myself on Erev Rosh Hashanah was to "be at ease with where I am in my life for longer periods of time."
I want to disconnect from media and distractions more. And connect with extended family and friends more.
(Originally answered for question 6 but thought this fit better for question 7) It's easy to think about weight loss or more money but I think I'd like to focus on becoming more calm and less anxiety-prone. Working through some of my issues this past year has revealed to me that I have more work to do. I'd like to start meditating, yoga, or calming practices.
I am excited to see the results of my current efforts to dig down and figure out why I have opted out of a committed and healthy relationship. I know that being in one would make me very happy--but I know that in order for this to happen I need to fix the things that I have taught myself that are not true about men and myself. I am so excited to keep making progress and see where I am in a year!
I would like to get more and better sleep. Every aspect of my life is impacted by the fact that I'm exhausted all the time. I am sure this isn't just the human condition in 2017 - there must be people who don't feel this way.
I've made a lot of progress this year. I've learned -- finally -- that the first step to achieving everything I want to achieve is to take great care of myself. I can't do anything for very long if I'm neglecting my health. But I can accomplish much if I am well fed, well rested, and relaxed. I would like to continue in this vein in the next year. I'm doing well, but I'd like to do better. Reduce my dependence upon caffeine and sugar. Exercise in some capacity every single day. Meet my fitness milestones, and set new goals.
My mental tenacity. I have lived my life in my head so much that the amount of time I have "wasted" has been depressing. I want to work on tuning out the voice in my head that tells me to quit that tells me there is an easier way. That way: do it tomorrow. I also want to get better at focusing on things that improve instead of things that tear me down. Positive thoughts that help people.
I would like to take on at least two of the following: find a job that reflects my values learn Spanish learn how to play violin learn how to ice skate develop my yoga practice Good advice: don't bite off more than you can chew. But also: If you have to swallow a toad, it’s best not to look at it too long.
Well, I would like to commit to learning - a language, sailing, golf, there's a list. I need to just start. And I think that's what I'd like to improve, the hurdles I place in my way. The reasons why not, the not having enough time. Those are all choices. I would like to improve myself by committing to myself that I will not give up, give in or give way. I'm worth it. I know that. Now it's time to live that. My dad turning 75 I think helped focus this for me. My sister reminding me that I can say no, I can reschedule, I can talk it out. My friends being ok when I suggest an alternative that's healthier and more budget friendly.
Step back - -try not to be so involved. Let the chips fall where they may. Stop trying to fix things -- let God fix them.
I need to fight entropy and the inevitable depression-inactivity. I need to incorporate physical activity into my life, and once again, begin living
Well I'd like to get my life in order, that's for sure. I want hobbies. I want to be the mother I've been waiting to be these past 8 months (but couldn't due to circumstances). I want to get a small business going. Advice? Not that I can think of. Just good little reminders. That there's no such thing as an adult. Well, yes then one piece of advice: That you can't take care of others until you take care of yourself.
I would like to get back to Pilates. I've been very happy doing Bikram yoga for a little over a year now, but I think I also need to do a bit more to be where I want to be physically. I initially stopped going because I hurt my back in class. I got a bit too enthusiastic too soon. That was at least 5 months ago, and also during this time my regular workouts have ceased. I've lost quite a bit of muscle tone, and I'm very unhappy with that. I can use excuses like work, wanting to spend time with my wife, family visiting, etc, but in the end I am only making excuses. This needs to change.
Same as last year. I want to be a better mom. I tried this year, but it was hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever done...but the most rewarding.
keep striving to do and be better, but cut yourself a break now and then
I would like to become more self-aware and self-directed, and less a victim of my emotions, fears, and imagination.
I am definitely focused on my character flaw of impatience (savlahnut hasair) and the impulsivity that flows from it. I aspire to patience, real patience, not laziness, nor tiredness, nor any excuse, but that which is born of studied calm judgment.
I needed more time for this question, and I still don't have a clear answer. There's too much to work on, and I don't have the headspace currently to whittle it down. The biggest thing would be to limit or eliminate time wasted on the internet. Ironic, considering I'm using the internet to write this answer. The closest thing to advice or counsel I can think of would be my meditation practice. Guess I gotta stay on top of that.
I would like to improve myself in terms of work ethic next year. Up until Sophomore year, my study habits, motivation, and time management skills were very solid. I did not save things to the last minute, and I had no problem keeping my schedule under control and meeting deadlines with minimal procrastination. Then came the Sophomore slump. I feel like the slump was mostly a personal failing, rather than due to a force that was entirely outside of my control, and that it did not need to be as difficult as it was. I partially shook the slump off over Junior year, but it began to rear its head near the end. This time, it affected my motivation above all. I had great difficulty bringing myself to confront tasks, academic and otherwise. Maybe I was depressed, but I do not claim to have suffered from depression. I have started to overcome this lack of motivation, and I am proud of the initiative I took thus far in my senior year. I hope this trend continues not only for the duration of the rest of the year, but into college and career as well. All too often undergraduate studies turn into young person vacation time. While I do plan to make the most of my college years, I intend to do so by not slacking off. I need to strike a balance. I need to find my rhythm, as my mother says. I plan to go about this search by experimenting, but without putting too much at stake or making detrimental risks or sacrifices. Maybe I should wait until after applications are due. Whatever that rhythm turns out to be, I would like to find it as soon as possible.
Peace in my life comes from my faith in God and the salvation granted to me by Jesus Christ, the only begotten son of God, consubstantial with the Father. The grandiosity and beauty of this concept ought to be sufficient in driving me towards a lifestyle in accordance with the guidelines created by the divinely inspired. Unfortunately, I often fail to practice the ideals that I revere as the capital-T Truth of my life on Earth. One of these ideals transcends the others because of its apparent simplicity: the Golden Rule. This rule, often referred to as the law of reciprocity, can be located in virtually all religious and secular traditions. Essentially a guide for all decisions and actions in one’s life, the Golden Rule dictates that people should do to others what they would like done to themselves. As I meander through the final year of my eighteen year tenure as a legal minor, I hope to adhere to this counsel strictly. I heard the Golden Rule countless times before, but it was through my grandfather’s sage voice of reason that I was profoundly impacted by the concept. When my parents began living separately, I refused to demonstrate any behavior that could be misconstrued as compassion or love. I was persistently angry and resentful of my parents’ ridiculous notion that they had lives of their own. In this difficult time of my life, I was inconsolable, but my grandfather did not approach me in a conciliatory manner. While I lay in my room moping in the glumness that emanated from within me, he came and brusquely read the verse from Leviticus that contains the Golden Rule. I immediately resented the ugly bromide that this old man thought could sway me; I was not mentally weak enough to fall victim to a cliché. However, as I reflect, I realize that this moment was much more powerful than I initially understood. I now hope to live in the manner prescribed by many different prophets, poets, and peasants from many different backgrounds. I will live my life with love, respect, and empathy for others.
Improve my body by working out and eating better is number one. The second thing is me continuing on this journey back to school so that I can get my Bachelor's Degree. I hope I become more in tune with myself and can stop with the jealously in a future relationship so that we can both live and just be happy together.
Follow through with my goals. I want to be able to give myself that.Finish my book, start rainbow, have a jness community active.
Next year, I would like to be able to commit to doing work. Too much of my problems in life are caused by my own inability to commit to what needs to be done. As I sit here in M105 typing this reflection, I think of how much work and problems I could save myself if I didn’t let things get away from me so often. Sitting here, the previous three blank responses burning a hole in my focus, I imagine that I am reaffirming this idea. I know that I am deep-set in my ways, and that change will not come easy. As I type this, I come to the realization that - never mind, it’s gone. I need to learn how to begin. Doing work is easy, but starting is the hardest, most awful thing in the world. In the moment, to pull myself away from my precious leisure, hobbies, or entertainment is to do the absolutely unthinkable. Who in their right mind would turn down immediate pleasure in favor of actual intellectual thought and the risk of the chance of the unthinkable: boredom. In terms of advice, I can’t say that I have anything substantial. Life is about routine, so that must be the place to start. I can’t help but think of a certain quote that describes my current situation perfectly: “It gets easier... It gets easier, but you gotta do it everyday, that’s the hard part.” If life is truly about chasing pleasure and avoiding boredom, why put myself through anything even remotely unpleasant at all? The answer is that we both know that there is something intrinsically worthwhile about academic study, self improvement, and personal growth. All we have to do is chase it, but we have to do it everyday. That’s the hard part.
I think the most important one is to relax, take things slow. I do some things that relax me, but I tend to work at a rushed pace, always type A, always wanting to get things done. However, I think this needs to be balanced without being so hard on myself, which I usually am, as I strive to be perfect a lot of the time.
I’d like to be far more confident of myself and less judgmental of others. I’d like to keep up with my exercise and good eating habits, while drinking less alcohol. I’d like to find a way to be more involved in resisting the growing tyranny of this president.
I hope to continue on my current trajectory -- improving myself professionally, being a positive parent even when my children are at their most challenging, juggling meaningful friendships, strengthening my Hebrew skills and transferable work skills towards aliyah, continued weight loss and improved fitness.
Make a weekly and daily to-do list on Sunday night, and stick to it!
I would like to take better care of myself and my home. That isn't to say I don't, but there is no routine around it. Currently I am trying to build morning and evening routines that make my days start better. That is going fairly well. Sure, there are hiccups some days, but it isn't the end of the world -- which my perfectionism has certainly gotten in the way of in previous attempts at this. So yeah -- I would like to be more consistent in my exercise and yoga practice, I would like to take better care of my body through hygiene (not like, the basics, but self pampering and such), and I'd like to eat better, consistently, because I like how it makes me feel when I do. I would also like to have a cleaning routine in place for my home. That would be nice. Hopefully all of that can happen by next year. As for a piece of advice or counsel from the past -- don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing the best you can.
I would like to eat better and exce case more before health conditions I have under control are no longer controlled.
Specifically: 1) Get to bed at or before 1215 AM so I can maximize the "good sleep" period. (Right now I'm averaging 130 AM). 2) Waste less time in the mornings, especially on days I don't work. 3) Volunteer more, specifically see if hospice centers are looking for people with filmmaking skills. 4) Increase the amount of time I write--would like to be hitting an hour a day. 5) Add a fun group hobby to my routine. I think the thing about not trying to change more than one habit at a time, and at understanding the roots of one's resistance to changing behavior will be useful.
Don't be afraid of information. Listen to your gut. Act. The only interests you should put before yours are your children's, and even then sometimes you still need to put yours first. Expect the same treatment from others that you expect for others.
I would like to not worry anymore and stop eating my fingers. Breathe from your belly, relax!!!
I would like to be able to be more able to compartmentalize my life and eliminate bleed over from one part to the next. Being more mindful in the moment. allowing myself the freedom to move from one part of my life to the next with out guilt.
I would like to improve my making skills, particularly in knitting and sewing. I have started to receive commissions for knitwear, hopefully that continues into next year.
Deciding to be happy (rather than reacting to others and basing personal happiness on others) Th concept that happiness is a decision....much like love is a decision to be loving , not a temporary emotion that happens to one. Be less critical of those around me. I should be able to tolerate without correction the imperfections of mine and others without comment. Wait a few seconds to speak when someone is speaking, to be a better listener and avoid not fully attending to what is said before reacting to it.
As Mae always always- "focus on art and writing." For personal improvement- more involvement in local politics. Need to work from the ground up to make the changes we need in DC.
Taking better advantage of my days off. I'm a small business owner, so I feel like I'm always on the clock.
I'm still working on being in better shape and at a better weight. I have learned about myself that I do better when in a very structured environment for food and exercise, so I continue to take classes rather than just exercising at random with no accountability. I have really gotten into yoga in the past year and plan to continue along that path, but I also am walking, using weights, etc. I am trying a structured weight loss plan as well. I would like to be more consistently clear with my husband on what is wrong between us. He doesn't seem to pay much attention to what I say unless I consistently nag, which in itself makes me crazy and resentful.
I would like to ask for help more both personally and professionally. Often times I will not reach out and ask for the things that I want; be it a meeting with a mentor, or an interview for a job. Often times I do this because I feel as though I am underqualified or undeserving. It really is just a defense mechanism that prevents me from accomplishing my full potential. Maybe working on my self hatred will actually help with me asking for help because I'll feel as though I'll actually deserve it.
I would like to be calmer and stiller. There is courage in calmness and solitude.
I would like to be more compassionate toward my husband, who I judge constantly for the slow pace of his healing from depression by being insufficiently proactive in his treatment and lack of cooperation outside of the room when we were in couples' counseling. Part of my judgment comes from my (false) belief that his lack of coping skills and unwillingness to receive my advice and emotional support reflect poorly on his esteem of me. I need to separate out my self worth from both my relationship with him and his emotional well-being.
This past year I learned that just making my voice heard in general is not enough; I must also make my voice heard in the face of power. This coming year, I want to continue to stand up to power.
Taking more risk! My art teacher encouraged me to experiment and I think I could easily apply that to the rest of life.
Every year during the High Holidays, I rehearse the same failings, always telling myself that I will strive to become more careful about what I say and do. I think I have gotten a bit better over time, but that goal of being more intentional, more mindful as I put it a few years ago, more attentive as last year's answer suggested -- that goal remains, always important, and perpetually at least a bit elusive.
Yoga x 3 days a week Walking/Running x 3 days a week Track what food I'm eating Make more art - it doesn't have to be perfect
I think one of the most powerful things I've done is to let go of processed sugar in my diet. I'd like to look at eating more plant based foods.
I really want to use my time and money wisely. I want to stick to goals that I set and achieve them. I think an old piece of advice has become new agin. "If you fail to plan you plan to fail."
I'd like to do some good exercising - get strong again. I want to have ZERO back problems after June 2018. Also, dentist.
I want to keep working on my fitness and strength - I have done a lot but want to maintain it in a way that I don't think about it! I want to listen to my therapist and stop thinking of myself as a piece of meat and more how grateful I am for what my body can do and has done
Once again I hope to be more physically fit , to reach out and include more people in my circle of friends and to do more with my time and use it productively.
Everyone keeps telling me not to feel guilty about leaving my current job. And I think they are right. I need to leave where I am now. I didn't realize that I started out last school year just as miserable and frustrated as I am now until I started reading my 10Q answers from last year and my past answers in my daily question journal. And the way I felt last year is still how I feel now: burnt out, overwhelmed, like the weight of the word is on my shoulders. That tells me that I need to get out. I don't know if school psychology is even still the right job for me, but I need to at least give it a go in another district. When I was looking for new jobs 2.5 years ago, I never should have stopped.
keep working towards my goals in terms of health and fitness.
I am satisfied with most aspects of my life. I am healthy -relatively speaking and my needs are met. I am disappointed that my answer to this question today is still similar to the response I gave to this question in 2016. I still need a better balance of face to face opportunities and less time on social media. Especially since social media has taken on more and more contentious political interaction. I admit my own contribution to the contention. I hope to have gotten re-engaged in some form of communal activity, such as worship or other group activity because I have let myself drift from those type of activities for a while. Doing so will improve my satisfaction and gratitude for how good life is in spite of the political negativity of the times.
I am grateful for the year of learning about leadership. It has inspired me to continue to strive towards better leadership. For me, it is about listening, and pausing to hear what an employee has to say - not jumping in with the answer.
I want to expand my knowledge of peer mentoring. I have just attended a conference on peer mentoring in other capacities than mental health and it has inspired me to think more globally on how this concept can be used in our community. I think that just being advised that we have all had some kind of trauma in our backgrounds and that we all learn from each other has inspired me to think out of the box on this one and to think of the many areas to which peer mentoring can be applied. It will be interesting to see where this answer finds me in a year from today.
Listen more, be patient, have faith in myself and others and God.
I'd like to improve my physical health. I'd certainly like to be in a much better place professionally, too. I think I'm taking steps toward both. Advice? Maybe that there are always more options than you think there are, and that you should probably leap before you're 100% ready.
I want to be more mindful and more intentional about cultivating happiness. I have learned a lot about myself through therapy this year, and am feeling more optimistic than I have in a decade.
I want to be better at managing the multiple roles I am doing. And I want to embrace good enough.
Don't neglect the stretches
I would like to find my own voice and own it. I feel this would really improve my life. I think listening to Emmet Fox, Mary Morrissey , and Abraham-Hicks, etc... have wonderful suggestions for getting in alignment with myself.
I would like to be a better partner, a better and more active grandfather, contribute more to the community. A peice of advice not so much, but a question which was are you enjoying this time in your life and doing things that you want to
Being more consistent with exercise and healthy eating. Better routines. Drinking more water. Spending more time doing yoga and meditation. Reminding myself how much better I always feel when incorporating these aspects into my life more fully.
Exercise, patience, grace, courage..reclaim courage..practice üben üben üben
I would like to continue to allow other people more airspace and freedom to come to their own conclusions before I offer my thoughts. Shefa's advice to "dim the headlights", or wait for it, can help be my guide.
I would like to acquire more balance between, home life ( family), career , spiritual journey and physical health . I feel that I spend way too much time at work ,and time for other endeavors becomes minimal. No one ever said at the end of their life: " I wish I spent more time at the office"
Ignore what you think you should do. Don't do things for money when you don't have to. Be intentional with your actions, and you will see results. Life is too precious to waste it on shoulds. Who are you? What do you stand for? Where are you going?
I think I have greatly improved with keeping the meals coming and not taking all day. Karen has done a fair amount of cooking which is good and good for variety. I read the entire "Dark Tower" again and we've taken to binge watching TV at night. There is still room for improvement so that's a continuing goal along with being a better vegan and sticking with Chef AJ's protocol. Great advice from a great friend: It's not all about you; let go; have faith/be patient. I should also remember a helpful mantra of my own: Love & gratitude.
I would like to argue less with my husband, and would like to be more patient/raise my voice less with my kids. Pause. Breathe. Pause some more.
Nothing has changed since last year, and I still have none of it. A woman who can cook, a partner in crime. More exercise, less abuse. Live music. Sustainable income. Progress on my smile. Stay grateful, even if I'm not grateful TO a deity any longer. Just happy to be alive. Here's my counsel: Nothing matters, do what thou wilt. Only consequences, not good or bad. If you read this in the same place next year as this, and you are still borrowing money, then I encourage immediate suicide of self. Just leave. You gave it decades, why give it more? Fuck this slow decay, go die with joy. Find a nice beach and walk into the ocean. There is no point, so just have fun!
That happiness begins with yourself and how you feel about your self. You wont find happiness elsewhere, before it begins with you.
I would like to stop being so vengeful. I have never been good at letting things go and not trying to seek revenge.
I would like to lose some weight and get back in shape. and i would like to improve my relationship with God. yes there is a piece i got.
I would like to step back-- a less "scheduled" year- To be more protective of my time. I would like to learn how to not get in the middle of of family conflicts-- Although, I am not sure if I can. I have to weigh how much responsibility I feel. The advice I received was "don't get in the Middle".
I don't know how I want to improve over the next year, I'm just kind of going with the flow of things. I would like to care less about being liked and what others think of me and my relationship. The most powerful piece of advice I have received is this: "All it takes is confidence. Once you accept it, everyone else will too." I have applied that to my life since I heard it, starting with my short hair, and it's true. Once I stopped being self-conscious of it and other things, I couldn't notice anyone else judging it either. I felt more secure in my own skin. Maybe others weren't judging in the first place? Maybe I was projecting. Second best piece of advice? "It may not be usual, but it's okay." Thanks Mr. Snell.
Just relax more. Work life balance. Get it right.
I would like a new job with benefits and if that does not happen, then I would like to find a way to make additional income selling artwork. I want to create more. I also need to remember who I am and not get sucked into drama that's not mine.
I would like to find some satisfaction in my work. I don't imagine that my profession will offer the meaning I need in my life; I just don't want to hate my day-to-day employment. I need to find the courage and energy to do something different(ly).
Take a little better care of myself.
My friend Dylan Rice has put me on this path to realizing that we should do what makes us happy, because what's the point in living if we are not enjoying life. I want to improve my life by surrounding myself with things and people and places that make me happy. I want to condition myself to not let other people's acceptance of me define who I am and what makes me happy. That is my choice. It is in my control.
"You can't always get what you want But if you try sometime you find You get what you need" - I need to get a handle on my anxiety that leads me to procrastinate on doing the things I need to do.
Honestly, the best advice I got all year was when my mom basically made us hire a wedding planner late in the process rather than doing everything ourselves. We were so glad on the day of, and leading up to it, to have them there. It would have been so much more stressful without them, and it was so worth the money. I guess the lesson is to delegate more, or value my own time more?
I hope to be neater and stop feeling like Cinderella when I have to clean house. I want to stop playing passive/aggressive games with my mother who died years ago. Much of my avoidance of cleaning is to displease her.
To improve myself and my life next year I'm going to motivate myself once more into a healthy routine.
Next year I'd like to think less about huge big picture life decisions and just do what feels right. Follow my interests and passions and fears and ideas. Life is long and there's no reason to spend time worrying or doing stuff I don't enjoy. In the past year I've received so much wise advice. Here's some: Live life in the jet stream of your soul. Growing up doesn't have to mean giving up. If you're not prepared to be wrong you'll never come up with anything original. Happiness, knowledge, not in another place, but this place-- not for another hour, but this hour.
You know, the more I answer the questions, the more I realize how cynical I have become. I don't care about improving myself even though I know I have some areas that could use improvement. I haven't gotten any advice or counsel this year as I have been pretty isolated and feel pretty alone. I'm just hoping that I don't feel more miserable next year.
1) Use your voice. Even if its a dissenting voice, its still your voice. 2) Don't take business personally. 3) Practice saying no more. In the workspace, I usually don't chime into appease people and have forgotten that by not exercising my voice, I am not reaching my full potential. Leading up to another point: I have to stop being afraid. I realized this year how much I let fear rule my life and I need to be a bit braver and to stop taking things so personally, especially in the professional realm. And last but not least, this ties into my need to say no more. No is a powerful word, and its not purely negative. When used wisely, it can show that you are assertive, that you have something to stand for so I would say all of these three points should be non-issues by the end of next year.
I would like to be healthier. I need to try more and listen to my therapist self.
There's so much I want to do. How pathetic that I still have so much work to accomplish in my 7th decade on this earth. I want to build important relationships, not my superficial friendships. I want to have friends who contact me to do things. I want to have friends who are willing to offer help and have an interest in my well being. These are things I offer to them, but are not reciprocated. I could drop dead and almost no one would notice. Again, no advice 'cause no one cares. Will I make the effort? I hope so, but doubt it will happen. I don't know what I need to do to make it happen. Haven't before, why now?
I would like to find my ideal balance mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The right spot between seriousness and playfulness, concern and carefree, piety and overcompensation. I want to better my actions with others, and to have compassion towards myself. I want to stop criticizing myself, putting myself down and want to fully accept myself for who I am, and to love that. I'd like to grow myself into a person that is fit to raise and care for a family. I'd also like to actually start keeping track of my finances and to learn how to budget--and use that to save up for a home/plane. Some advice...take the good days and the bad days. Accept your mood for what it is that day or moment.
I want to be a loyal, loving friend, daughter, sister. I want to be trustworthy.
It is my most sincere prayer that in 5778 I finally fully embrace who I ACTUALLY am, and give myself permission to roll with it. Maybe I'm close. I don't know. Maybe I am on the verge of getting out of my own way. There is evidence for this proposition. I was terrified to sit for the bar exam this year, and yet I passed with flying colors. I was terrified to leave my marriage. I had help getting out the door (as in, he asked me to leave...), but I am freer and more alive for having gone. Putting myself out there for information interviews has been both exhilarating and the source of a massive amount of angst. Maybe because unlike in 5776, in 5777 I finally left the nest -- perhaps that is a critical first step in making 5778 the year of radical, positive change; of getting over the hump. I don't know. What I do know is who I am. Felix said that to me last Monday in my WSBA job search support group. "You may not have known who you were in law school, but you know exactly who are you are now." And I do. And who I am is NOT overweight. Who I am is strong and sexy and powerful and well dressed. So why the fuck and I am so flabby and frumpy? Who I am is NOT afraid of my shadow and paralyzed by what the neighbors or the family will think. Who I am is brilliant and ambitious. So why have I gone from hiding in Shoreline to hiding on Mercer Island? I am TIRED of being in my own way. Tired. I set a goal, and then I immediately run the other direction. So how do I reach my goals without setting any? That's not workable. This is the year. It doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, it can't be. Regardless, I intend that this is the year of the breakthrough -- career wise, financially, and in terms of my independence and my appearance. I'm scared. How long does it take to make a cruise ship execute a 180-degree turn? How many miles in the wrong direction does it travel after the decision has been made to make the turn -- sheerly on account of momentum? I am ready to steam in the right direction for a change. The piece of advice or counsel that I received this year that is likely to help me the most in the year ahead is to stop focusing on those character traits that don't come as easily to me, and instead to employ in all endeavors the character strengths that do. This means looking to my love of learning, creativity, social intelligence, humor, hope, and spirituality as I attempt to finally launch myself into a career and a life of my own design. As such, I have started a hope journal. Right now, on day six of this project, I am not sure what that means. I am not sure if I am writing down the right things, or if I even really have the sense of what the "right things" are. Right now, I am merely noting that is is hopeful to make a plan, it is hopeful to reach out, it is hopeful to get up and show up. Maybe there is more to this hope business than I detect at the moment (I do have access to the Health Sciences Library at Loyola through May... hmmmm... a research project). Maybe there is more that I need to consider, devote, or employ. Maybe right now, I know what I need to know.
The exact same thing I said as last year: "I would like to manage my hours better. I am going to have to do this at my new job, because I need to demonstrate to my colleagues and my employer that I am organized and can work efficiently. I will be happier too if I can get a handle on this better." I also need to spend more time with my daughter before she goes off to college (she's a junior now). It's all happening quickly and I need to pay attention to her needs and really engage with her. She'll be gone in two years and I will really miss her.
Again, a similar answer to last year. I'd like to stop comparing myself to people. Everyone does things at different times, and just because my friends are doing it, doesnt mean its right for me. STOP looking at instagram, its not real!!
I would like to try and find a balance to support freya and help her through a levels without totally pissing her off and becoming overwhelmed and stresses myself Friends have said to back off -it's her exams and only she can take them! But can I
I am searching for the deeper meaning. I tried religion and it is not for me. I know there is something more and I am searching. I read on Buddhism and the mindfulness piece is so intriguing. I've gone to a mindfulness meditation class and I really enjoyed it and plan to explore more of that. I don't have a benchmark for the next year, I would just like to continue exploring and see what my answer is for next year!
Focus on myself and my career. Be so invested in myself and build my own empire. Work as hard as I can to move up in my company & stay OUT of office politics. Be the hardworking independent woman you are.
Last year at this time I was in the best physical and arguably worst mental shape of my adult life. This year I may be about halfway to both, which I'm not sure is necessarily an improvement even if it is more balanced. Next year I would like to improve my physical shape to get back to at least 90% of where I was at this time last year, while also continuing to take my mental practice (writing, meditation, that thing I used to do called yoga) more seriously and consistently. I've been training a client this year that also serves as somewhat of a mentor, and she's very much an "if I want it, I will get it" personality. I am inspired by her can't-hold-me-down attitude and will try to make bolder, riskier, scarier decisions in the coming year.
This year has been, by my own choice, all about work, work, work as a way of coping with my husband's death. In the upcoming year, I'd like to test the waters in making a life for myself and not doing so much work. Exercise, friendships, improving my home, traveling, learning new things . . . I need to navigate the world alone and get comfortable with it.
Letting go of perfectionism. This helped with my fitness journey this year. Starting is the hardest part. But you go one day and do what you can. You do that for as long as it's challenging. Then one day, you do more and that contributes to a tiny growth. This continues until you get to a point where you feel "validated" in your actions.
I would like to really start practicing to choose where I want my thoughts to dwell. I really AM tired of ruminating on the same, tired stuff that brings me down, yet I catch my mind going back there over and over again. So that is my main force of work this year, is that mindfulness? Well, less talking and posting about it and more time doing it!
You're not a victim; you're a volunteer. You never said, "No. I'm not willing to move and go there." So when the move came to pass you can't now say, "But I don't agree." Having my therapist tell me not to be a victim because I'm not was a kick that I needed and is a reminder going forward.
To try to be more positive and not despairing. In looking at my answer from last year, I still need to remember that happiness comes from within.
Hmmm. Recently I read a piece of advice: "If it is right to do, do it. If it is not right, don't do it. If you don't know, wait until you know." I am finding this helpful if I take time to remember it. I would like to be a person who does the right thing to the top of my ability. I would like to be more decisive, because waffling looks like maybe I don't care enough to decide. Also not deciding leaves people hanging. So, doing the right things, and being decisive.
Really my answer to this is pretty similar to the last question. In that I kind of just want to reestablish and maintain some balance in my life, and keep well, mentally and physically. I suppose I would like to be in better shape physically. My body certainly isn’t what it was before I got pregnant, and I don’t expect it to go back to exactly what it was. But if I could be a bit fitter, lose a little bit of weight, and improve my core strength, I think it would help me keep up with the demands of parenting, feel good about myself, and feel ready to have another baby. Some advice... maybe from the physio I saw - that it’s going to take time to recover. And from another physio - to treat being a mum like a job in terms of OH&S - do things to protect my back and body, for example. Like safe lifting, using supports during breastfeeding, etc.
I am working on learning how to set goals and create a vision for myself and my future. I'm learning that in order to do this, I need to learn how to listen to my inner voice, which has been stifled by many years. I (falsely) have believed my whole life that my will was not more important than others', and that I should not voice my opinion or needs over those of other people. I was also told what to think and do for my whole life, and there have only been rare instances when I have risen above the voices of other people and done what _I_ wanted or needed to do. These instances came at a cost, in the form of ridicule or disbelief from those closest to me, but that only fueled my desire to succeed. On the flip side, my fear of those reactions has kept me in my comfort zone for way too long, unwilling to take the risks that would make me vulnerable to those attacks. The result of this is that I no longer hear my inner voice. I do not know how to set goals for myself. I do not know what my core values are that will guide me forward. However, I am now taking the time to learn from some amazing people. Just acknowledging this fact is shedding light on the problem, which allows me to create a solution. Next year I would like to look back with the knowledge that I have the ability to hear my inner voice, which is a guiding force in my life - despite what others may say, do, or think.
This is a repetitive question. Asked and answered.
Continue to follow the path of divine guidance.
I would like to be more aware of the feelings of the people around me, & more willing to speak up for myself in the moment. I have motivation, but nope, not much advice or counsel yet...
Keep working on turning off of work when it's time to turn off so that you can give yourself, your friends, and your family the undivided time they deserve. So I want to plan more days off and not feel guilty for taking them!!
I'd like to become skinny because im fat and gross and no one likes me you would have no idea how much i've been through.
Losing weight after the second baby is born! I had just managed to shed about 5 pounds right before I found out I was pregnant. I was totally motivated to finally get healthy and trim down. I am trying to still be healthy through the pregnancy, but it's hard. Once this baby is born I want to get back on a healthier diet and exercise regime. I'd like to explore some martial arts options, too, as I think they would help me express and manage my anger.
I want - need - to write more in public. I want to publish my writing and art, and have something to show for the things I create. I spend enough time online; I need to spend it in healthier ways. From "Show Your Work!" by Austin Kleon: "Online, you can become the person you really want to be. Fill your website with your work and your ideas and the stuff you care about."
I don't know. I've been thinking about this off and on for two days and I still don't have a good answer. Try to be more content with things as they are? That feels like giving up ambition and goals. I guess the best I've got is the advice Hillary Clinton left at the end of her book: keep going.
Fron all the sources, the only thing that keeps my Parkinsons symptoms from getting worse is exercise. I am determined to keep moving in spite of the increased pain I am experiencing in my back and leg. My leg doctor has sent me to a back and pain specialist. I need to follow up and get the treatments that are being recommended for me.
Rabbi Bach recently ask a version of this question of the congregation. If you could advise your younger self, he asked, what would that advice be? My thought was that I might have benefited by realizing earlier in life that the past, as any given moment, is as close as it will ever be, but it is receding quickly. I'm not sure how that translates into future aspiration, other than to be mindful that our days are numbered, and that doors are closing.
MONEY I don't think I've gotten anything specific... I just know how I am with money and want to get better. Tamp down the debt. I think I could buy or build a house (buy land) if I'm smart about it. Building is cheaper if I know the right people (like Emily!) Maybe she's my good counsel on how to go about building a house (thank you, Habitat for Humanity).
Again, my mind goes to $$$ (I've never been so preoccupied by it in my life before... and that makes me sad.) I'd like to be able to be more generous, mostly with my time – and activities that involve spending time with friends & family often involve $. I've turned a lot down this year.
I will continue to work on letting go of things over which I have no control and managing things according to their scale rather than making everything equally important...or dramatic. Therapist provided me with the guidance to do that without feeling like I am giving up myself in the process.
I'd like to (now that I finally have a doctor who listens) really focus on getting myself to a better place, physically and mentally. I'm on my way - I'm occasionally brought to tears at the realization of how far I've come just in the last three months - there's real hope, for the first time in a long time. I've learned, had to learn - that it's ok to pause, to take a breath...to take time to take care of myself.
I want to reach my goal weight and establish a lifetime eating and fitness routine. No advice on that, really.
i would like to be content with my life again. This fall has been hard for me for many reasons. Realizing i'm turning 50 ( in my mind i'm in my 30s & look like it), a break up & summer ending. I need to accentuate the positive because i am so fortunate. i hope to be in a much better place emotionally & relationally next year. it finally has dawned on my that i've always had abandonmentment issues & i hope with help from my Dr that we can reprocess the shitty things from my childhood & make me awesome in every way. i am also practicing Louise Hay's affirmations . i hope the help
Slow down and appreciate others
I went to the gym for the first time yesterday. I'm still sore and might have tried to do too much, but I would like to be a healthier. I've put on a bit more weight than I thought I had since coming to law school and even though I know my weight doesn't define who I am I still feel more and more crappy about myself every day. Sarah said I should stretch more next time...
By this time next year I want to be even better at what I do now, and have a plan for what I am doing. I don't know if there is really a piece of advice I got this year, but just watching everyone I worked for in the past year has helped me immensly. I want to be less anxious and more able to get things done on time.
«que sera, sera» I am trying to not overthink anything lately. It seems to be helping a lot. I hope to continue to de-clutter my life, find a balance in my personal life, and allow myself to rely on others for help when I need it.
I have this running joke with my therapist (which is, I recognize, maybe the most on-brand sentence I could possibly write, but whatever). The joke is that I am the only person in the world who has ever felt what I'm feeling. My guilt and anxiety and fear are absolutely unique to me. In truth, I do feel that way a lot. I feel that my emotions, which are so impossibly singular, must also be incorrect or excessive, and so I layer shame on top of the rest of it. This year I am trying to believe in my own ordinariness. There's something to be said for that. Whenever Marty says, in the ironic tone that he uses when we're joking (and we joke a lot; I'm grateful for that), "I hate to break it to you, but you're not the only one in the world" - whenever he says that, I feel such relief. One more black cloud punctured. I am learning to be open with the world about what happens in my mind because, it turns out, there is a lot of commonality to be found there. Let me freeze less and say more. Let me trust that in opening my mouth I will be speaking to someone willing to listen. Let me remember that I'm not alone.
Trust myself. Trust my judgment. Enjoy life.
The whole world is a narrow bridge, the main thing is not to be afraid.
I think if anything, it would be to keep myself in balance and not to overwork myself.
I want to be more centered. It comes and goes in waves and I feel like I can be super satisfied and happy and then an outside circumstance will upset me and I allow that to alter my perspective and how I feel. I know happiness comes from within; I know I have to take care of myself first but that's not alway easy. Maybe that'll be my goal: self-care first, which will allow me to stay centered and then be better for myself and for others.
My dad told me that just because someone is family doesn't mean they get to treat you poorly. I'm going to worry less about my sense of guilt and more about my right to achieve my own goals. On a more practical level, I want to be able to save money to see more of the world.
Continue to be healthier. Cook more. Exercise more. Do more with the dog. Travel more - take a big trip.
I was told I am not good at making the "hard decisions", and I bristled at that when I heard it. I wanted to make a laundry list of all the tough things I have had to face in the past and the decisions I had to make. However, after chewing on it for awhile (snarling to myself about the unfair assessment) it started to sink in that the evaluation had been made on current events, not based on overall performance in my life. So I took a bit and took inventory of recent events, focused on where this person made their evaluation from...and they were right. I had not been making the hard decisions, and had been passing the buck up the chain of command instead. So, this year, I want to do better about making those tough calls on my own, I know I do have to run them through proper channels so to speak, but I will do my best to make the best decision I can before that point. I hope I continue to get great guidance and honest input from people like that in my life, even if it stings and makes me grumpy at first! :)
i need to recreate myself professionally, and i'm not sure how to do that. my friend, who is wise but a bit kooky, said that i need to create my own opportunities. i get that-- but also-- really, really need to learn how to ask for help and understand more about the networking process. would it help if i took some classes? would it help if i took a few months off to work on myself physically? (no, it wouldn't. that would send me into another depression spiral. no thanks.) i've been getting more active in my career search, but still need to get where i'm going. need to figure out exactly where that is.
What has really helped this year is the counsel of behavioral therapy. Basically, to develop confidence, to manage down time, to keep steady in responses and taking meds, and resting as needed. These are all basic to being well. To apply my problem solving skills and my innate kindness to myself is a new challenge, and worth developing. Jjkail the counselor has played back his observations to my reporting, in ways that help me understand what has changed to allow these new or returning experiences of happy and hope. I will be able to carry on beyond our weekly visits once we move. The most important pledge I have is to myself. I have let everything else take priority, for too many years. It is time to schedule the daily workouts and be true to the nutrition that will feed my plan. I have accomplished baby steps. I have a better attitude. I am just a bit less fearful I can really do what I. Want. That is to exercise two hours daily, be active and healthy, balanced without injuries due to stress. Maybe the activities are a few hours more on top of fitness workout, I must make my time my own and give this body a chance to show the innate beauty. I have never loved it this much. It will be a loving journey.
Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should do it. You don't have to say yes to everything!
I understand the concrete finite quality of money. I have found it incredibly difficult to understand the finite quality of time. I thought that when I retired I would be able to do everything! Ha! I need to make more time in my life for working in the studio and being at home. I am working hard to say no to requests for time and to cut back on current commitments. I have not had any advice that has really helped.
I would like to make sure my Blood Sugar is under control and that I am attending Grad School.
I'd like to follow through more of the things I set out to do. Building my new business, building my social life, getting my license, getting healthier. One advice I have in my pocket is to chop up each goal into bite size pieces so they're achievable within a short amount of time.
I want to be a more positive person and see the good in everything and everyone. I also want to be able to let go of past wrongdoings and grudges against people who have hurt me. And as always, I would like to be a victor who overcomes the most difficult circumstances instead of being a victim who gets consumed by the most difficult circumstances. I also want to continue to take responsibility for my thoughts, words, and actions.
I am getting better and better at letting things in my life unfold, instead of trying to force them to happen. I want to continue to embrace the unknown versus trying to make things happen in more comfortable ways. Also with my recent schedule change, I hope to attend more yoga classes to add to my own teaching and home practice. I need a community and to jump in, arms open, heart open.
I'd like to be more spiritual and more reserved in my opinion.
I need to actually make work-life balance a priority. Especially now that I have such an active social and political life, I have to focus on self-care to keep myself going. I don't know that advice would change my behavior patterns, but I do have people in my life to remind me not to work to death.
I need to take some pressure off by saying no more often than saying yes. A good friend has reminded me to "breathe" and to know there are others who can do some of the things I am doing and, perhaps, even do them better.
I feel stronger and more able to accept myself. I'd like to be able to prioritize better. I'm not thinking or feeling of a specific piece of advice or counsel that I've received - jus the ability and desire to accept myself fully and give that same love and attention and awareness to my family and friends.
I want to think of myself less--without thinking less of myself. In times of depression or anxiety I tend to turn inward, just trying to make it through the day, just trying to feel better, and that's all well and good. But when my head breaks the surface of the water, I take my first breath and realize that I have neglected almost everyone else in my life. Friends I've wanted to keep in touch with, family members who needed me, people at work whom I could have treated better or paid more attention to. Of course, during 10Q the whole point is reflection, so I guess it's okay for me to put so much thought into this and into me for now, but this year I really want to value others and put them first. I don't want to sacrifice self-care, but I think I tend to be more selfish than self-caring when I really let myself focus on myself too much.
'Humility is endless' TS Eliot
More space. More flexibility. More spontaneouty. Making time for me. To digest my life and my experiences.
I would like to stop crying myself to sleep and being so depressed from time to time. I would like to have these dark emotions of mine under control, because my life is actually pretty awesome - I just need to purposely remember about it constantly. I would like to include new people in my life. People who can become my new friends and kind of replace the old friends that are all having babies now. I would like to stop being so lonely, so I want to get out more and proactively speak to people and engage in new relationships.
I would say that how I would like to improve myself is to focus more on the balance between work and life -- and really lean more into the life part. I really don't want to run myself down trying to be the "ideal worker"- because that will make me miserable. I want to be more positive about work, but not necessarily worry about being a rock star. Talking with Keri is always helpful!
It might sound cliche but I would like to make a commitment to self care and physical fitness. I don't always put myself or my needs first; it would be nice to change it up. Advice I've received that's helped me is "a little goes a long way". It's definitely true. And I can keep that at the center while planning my weeks and months. Hopefully I can stick to a routine!
I'd like to be better about budgeting time for my personal life. I'm really bad at setting aside time for myself, or to spend time with others, and then letting work get in the way of that. The advice I'd like to give myself is, "If I'm not for myself, who will be. If not now, when?"
I always want to get more stuff done. I still haven't unpacked my DVDs and CDs and I've been living in this house for over a year. I guess this means they're not that important to me. I've been thinking about just selling them on Music Magpie or giving them away to charity and treating myself to a Spotify subscription or allowing myself to share Fran's. I don't listen to music that much. One of the blockers that's stopping me is I want to digitize my music collection (rip my CDs to MP3) before selling them. I don't have anywhere to put them and I like the idea of getting rid of clutter and making a bit of money out of it. But I just never have the time or energy to get around to it. I'd rather be doing other things. I'd also like to continue losing a bit of weight. I'm about 6kg less than I was at my heaviest living alone in Kidlington. But I'm still a bit podgy and overweight. The problem is we really enjoy our food and I don't want to deny myself the pleasure! I was thinking that I might regret the decisions and lifestyle I'm leading now later in life. But I'm not willing enough to change it at the moment. I have also been entertaining the idea of leaving Torchbox or moving to Bristol (partly because Fran is applying for a job at Bristol University at the moment and has been offered a second interview). I'm pretty happy with life on the whole at the moment. I can't really think of some wise counsel that anyone has given me. I do like the concept of learning how not to give a fuck and being much more protective of your fuck budget and choosing how to spend your fucks. For example, I don't give a fuck about Sol Samba at the moment and haven't wanted to go back to rehearsals. I think this idea was starting to sprout this time last year, but I hadn't watched the TED talk about it yet. The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck. Fran and I use this in conversation when we're debating whether we want to do something. Right now, for example, I don't really have enough fucks to give to go to the Torchbox pub quiz night. I'd rather stay at home and do my own thing.
Find peace with myself. Be comfortable with the amount of effort, and attention, that I bring to the world around me. And what I get in return. AND, lose my obsession with stuff. Seek simplicity in myself and in my home.
Yes, just do it!, Practice yoga at least once a day. If you can give facebook 3 minutes of your day, you can give yourself 3 minutes to meditate, concentrate on your breathe.
I want to continue on the never-ending journey of being a better person. More accepting, more humble and more kind
I would really like to be in the practice of scheduling time each week to dance, take yoga classes, and meditate. I want the time I spend with myself to be as thoughtful and planned as the time I spend with my partners and my friends.
more friendly, more helpful, less sensitive. life is short. don't waste any of it being angry.
I always get frustrated when I get to these questions, because they imply that I am looking to improve myself. Maybe it is just my age, but I no longer am trying to improve myself and my life in the ways I was when younger. I am trying to "get through" until retirement, while continuing to enjoy my husband, friends and relatives, and my activities. That feels like enough of a goal for now.
I want to believe in myself. I know that my nutrition comes from believing I can do it. I know work and school will improve when I trust myself. I also want to learn what it means to be a good wife. I hope I can be everything Jeff needs me to be.
I'd like to get an HR certification such as SHRM-CP. I think I'll be very hire-able with that certification right up to retirement, and that we could travel and live in lots more places if I have it. I'm hoping to work long-distance as an independent contractor, and work fewer hours, with more freedom.
I'd like to maintain social ties better. I'd like to know better what I want and what will make me happy and be more open to people and experiences. I'd like to learn to accept being less in control without feeling like my life is falling apart.
I want to find myself again. I want to be able to feel comfortable and feel present. I want to be able to feel like I know where I am supposed to go, instead of feeling unstable. Through this I think it would be easier to find friends and feel part of community.
i need to make a very strong effort to stop judging people - complete strangers seen on the bus, people walking by, my friends, etc. Everyone has a story and I can't always know theirs so empathy must be my focus.
I have recently - over the past year - begun to realize that I actually am a genuine expert in my field, and that I am - really and truly - well respected by a lot of people. That's not something I naturally recognize about myself. Usually I feel like I'm kind of faking it. I still do, a bit, but I've started to realize that, compared to most people doing what I do, I am truly good at it. Wow. That's - quite a thing. I guess if you work in one field for over 35 years, you are bound to pick up a few things. Huh.
The words of Light that I have accumulated this year have made all the impact in the world. "Nothing in a life of recovery will ever be as miserable as the darkness of your eating disorder," said Stacie, a light who changed the course of my life.
Keep being authentic to yourself. You're strong, and you'll fight your way through.
I would like to pick a cause or issue, outside of work, and find the best way that I can help to make a difference. I've spent a lot of time learning about the issues of sexism, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and other forms of oppression in the country and world. I'm tired of feeling angry and helpless and ready to so something about it.
I would like to continue practicing listening to myself but not my inner critic. To be more aware of my internal dialogue and how that impacts how I love my life. I hope I continue to love as fiercely and openly as I have been trying to do this year. Advice? Ummm, just take it one day at a time and enjoy the moment you are in.
I was recently reminded that God has plans for me & they will come to me. I don't have to looking. Angels are all around me praying for my blessing & protection but the devil lurks. Stay woke! I hope to increase my mindfulness. Living each moment fully.
My advice to myself is about spirituality and living in the samadhi/lucy land of real, true, nowness experienced directly through the unified heart + mind. You don't know how much more time you will have on this earth, and even more you don't know how long your brain will be able to generate that wonderful you which you enjoy so much. You were gone for long periods this spring and summer, and that taught you how fragile the whole enterprise of John is.
I would like to be emotionally healthier, to have resolved some childhood issues.
My life would probably be most improved by being confident. And this confidence would stem from my appearance. I've gained a lot of weight and I truly want to change that. I've always been chubby and I want to lose at least some of it and feel accomplished and feel great and sexy. I'm not remembering any advice but I know I received a lot.
Control less... surrender more... love always, and trust the Divine
I’d like to learn how to be more assertive and take more risks. As someone once said, “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly. Don’t wait until you can do something perfectly.”
I've been focusing a lot on performance: diet, exercise, biohacking, and the mind. I wouldn't call it "improving", but enhancing. I combine keto and paleo eating habits, and now that I'm back in the States I can really dial in some details using supplements and other helping agents from BulletProof and get things that CK suggests. So in the next year I would actually like to achieve ketogenisis. I'm also focusing a lot on mindfulness and breathing. I currently do a breathing ritual in the morning, say a morning mantra. In the evening I say a night mantra and write down what I was grateful for that day. In this coming year I'd like to explore breath more, specifically Wimhof method. I'd also like to improve my journaling and recording of my dreams. I dream much more often and much more vividly when I sleep with Trisse in my arms, she also increases my oxytocin to immeasurable levels. So in order to really achieve maximum potential, I need to sleep with Trisse much more.
I am definitely on a path to better fitness and general health. I started going to a CrossFit gym 4 months ago, and can feel the difference in my progress. I'm even starting to show definition in my abs! I believe that just being consistent with this (keep showing up!) and putting in the effort will produce results. I expect to say next year that I am finally in the best shape of my life! I will be getting ready to celebrate a milestone birthday next year at this time; I will be about to turn 50 yrs old in October.
My girlfriend recently reminded me that I should always be myself, a mantra of sorts that I've carried with me since I first heard it. At the time it sounded like simple advice, but I realized my whole life I was living to please others, and not being myself. Since, I've learned to say no when I'm maxed out. I've learned to not break when it comes to my values or my bold beliefs. I've learned that people will think you are crazy sometimes, but that means you're doing something right. Moving forward I would like to continue being myself, and not let the outside world break into my life or weigh me down so easily. Conform at your own risk - or as Oliver Wilde once said, "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken."
Yes. I heard the advice: "Do the next right thing." If you take this in a Jewish context, it makes a lot of sense.
I loved the advice that an 88-year old friend of mine gave me when agonizing over a big decision my older daughter was having over her choice of which college to attend. She said, "What's the worst thing that could happen? If it's not a good decision, you make a change." In her 88-year perspective, your life path is never set in stone. You always have the ability to chose, to reflect, and to change.
More surrender, more receiving. Ask and Allow. Feed relationships that meet me 50/50.
I would like to improve myself in two ways: I have finally achieved a place where I have the boundaries in place to prevent those around me from overstepping and taking more of my generosity with time and energy than I have to give to them or to give at all. I am fully present for my daughter and she is thriving. I would like to improve my financial situation not by making more but by living lean and being smarter with my money. I wish I had solid counsel on how to be smarter in this way, but I simply have to do the work (as Cheryl Strayed would say). Me. I have to do it. I also need to reach a place in managing my time with work and solid sleep so that I can include once or twice a week gym visits. I love the happy brain chemicals associated with working out and I don't want to give up time with my lover or time with my daughter or the valuable time I need to sleep with my hectic work schedule in order to run and do yoga and feel good, but i need to find a way to do it.
I would like to become a stronger advocate for myself, and to stop putting off the things that may seem difficult or daunting. "Just say yes"
I'm not sure about a specific piece of advice, but other than specific achievements, I would like to be fully satisfied with what I have, in the sense of happy with the job, able to write, and having the time to travel and spend time with my friends and family.
The cliches of be yourself of having so much , of "Do not get weary" to all the little girls never doubt thatvyou are powerful, important abd deserving of every chance for happiness" hillary rodham clinton 💕
I would like to define a very few very specific goals and not spend time, energy, money and/or be around people who distract me from those goals. I'd like to be more consistent in my practice of self love and truly know that I am enough. When I long to make a loving gesture to someone, and I wish I had a lover to make that gesture to, I will make that gesture towards myself and/or someone in my life deserving of it. I would like to put my mental health, physical health, spiritual health as top priorities. I don't want work to rule my life - I want to feel confident that I am deserving of the rewards of my labor without having to put work above my own wellbeing. I feel like I receive good advice, but I need to remember it/write it down. Christen just gave me a list 100 ways to make more money that seems like a well rounded list to create abundance - and it's more about self love and community that strictly the act of making money. I need to review...
Just do something, even if it is only a tiny baby strip. Often that first step is what it takes to get you in the direction you want to go.
Get more involved in Judaism. Schlep the kids along to Sukkot. Be a more relaxed Mama 2.0 - alle Kinder werden schließlich groß. :)
I want to find the space to compassionately love myself again. I often get caught up in my head or how things should be, or judging myself in ways that create tension. I want to find ways to just be and to enjoy life more. I carry a lot of anger and tension all of the time, and that isn't something that is necessary.
In the next year, I want to just breathe more. I want to let things slide and stop making every minor bump in the road a stressful, anxiety-filled breakdown. Just let things go.
I hope to exercise and build up my self-discipline this year. I've developed some bad habits (forgetting to brush my teeth, procrastination) that get in the way of how I want to live and who I want to be.
There are a few things I'd like to improve: my health, my spending habits, and my anxiety. For my health, it's remembering that when I exercise and eat healthier, I feel better. As much fun as pizza and takeout can be (and as quick as they can be when I'm feeling lazy about cooking dinner), ultimately I always feel better when I eat better. For my spending habits, it ties into the first one: I save money when I cook! It really doesn't make sense to buy my lunches when I work in such an expensive neighborhood. I was reminded of the phrase "Let go and let God" recently. Though I'm no longer very religious, I do believe that everything eventually turns out okay. In the moment, I want to be better about taking a breath and letting go of the "but what if!!" mentality in favor of the "let it happen and it will all be okay" one.
I would like to lessen my student loan debt by this time next year. The advice that I've been given is to look at all of my finances in one shot and see what I can and can not comfortably do in order to alleviate my debt but still live life and not be completely beholden to my debt.
I was stumped by this question and sat on it for a couple of days. But I had an epiphany this morning and feel like I know what my purpose is supposed to be right now. I have been thinking a lot about the idea of "self love" and how I talk to myself and am realizing that I don't speak very nicely to myself when I'm thinking in my head. That's not okay. I hear young high school girls do the same things. They say they're dumb or fat or apologize before performing. I think I want to do something in the next year and in the future with helping girls (people? do boys do this?) speak more kindly to themselves.
Once we pay off our Equity loan in a few months, I would really like to keep the balance at zero and use it only for emergency / necessity projects. If money is borrowed, it gets paid off rapidly, like a few months. I want to continue to focus on making the most of my life every day. Wherever you go, go with all your heart.
I want my side hustle to be active and thriving. I see that I can get a LOT done if I will artfully dodge timewasters like junk TV and social media trolling.
I think improving is a bit of a red herring. It's more of -- slow down. Realize you have it all. Deep breath. You did it. You accomplished the things. Now enjoy them. Piece of counsel -- hmm. Life is what happens when you're making other plans. Happiness is found in the gaps between big moments. The every day things. Attend to those. :-)
I am a selfish person and easily offended. Our Pastor has been speaking on living a sacrificial life and I hope that I will be able to do that
You are a teacher in more than just academia. It's easy for you to forget because you can get caught up in your own confusion and questions. But you have guidance for other people. You don't have answers for everyone, but you have tools to give them that help them find there own answers, and that's better than giving them the answers. That's so important and you undervalue it in yourself, and I'm here to remind you that you're important, and that gift is important. And it's important to share it. I love you.
And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. ~The Alchemist
I would like to improve myself and my life next year by finding my bliss or a piece of it -- finding what makes me tick and what I can do to maintain that.
I am going to continue working on my health over the next year. This means continuing to watch what I eat, getting consistent with my exercise and doing things that make my heart happy.
I would really like to take walks in nature more often. Now with my knee, I am too disabled to enjoy the walking that I do. By next year I want to be able to go back to Olana and Sislow, and explore new places too...
I have lost 40 lbs in the past year. I would like to lose another 30 in the next year and get back into sports.
I would like to have a focus and a honed skill. Not sure what yet, but one specific thing I'm very good at. it will come. all "geniuses" didn't happen overnight
I would like to be more loving to myself and others, in particular to my husband and daughter. The more unhappy I am with myself, the more it spills over into family life. The best advice I have gotten is to take imperfect action. I think some of my frustration is that i have so much I am not expressing, not doing and then i get angry and everyone including myself. The voice that i hear often says - don't give up. that too will be my mantra this year. i would like one to remind myself to be loving...have to find that.
I think Eckhart Tolle's advice/minset has been the most profound thing I've come across lately. He said, "I don't mind what happens." And I want to be that person. I just want to be chill about everything and everyone. I'm tired of being upset. I'm tired of not being satisfied. I want to make the decision to just be happy, no matter what's going on around me.
Don't think so far ahead, and live in the moment. Maybe that will help you feel happier and more appreciative of your life.
Pay attention. I would like to write, read more, take yoga, get a flat stomach.
Don't be so damn scared. Stick up for yourself. Spend time on the things you love, instead of playing Civilization 5. Again. And buy that couch. We deserve it.
patience, listening and paying more attention- being on time
I would like to do Mussar especially Humility. I learned that I am on the side of demeaning myself....that I don't believe in my power...or use it productively.
I read in a meme on the internet this past year that worrying is like praying for the outcome you don't want. I would like to stop doing that
Keep going on the path you are on. Add more good habits. About one a month. Don't slip into old ways and for goodness sake be kind to yourself.
Oh boy... I feel like the next year will be a holding pattern of staying sane. And I'm ok with that being the case. Improvements in handling anxiety would be great, but maybe the advice for the next year is just to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Keep polishing the stone. What I'm doing right, the ways I like where I'm going? Keep going. Where I'm hitting dead ends, road blocks, and the like? Avoid, reroute, re-calibrate, and take a different path.
I think re-reading the Steve Jobs biography next year could be helpful. It really inspired me this year and made me realize that there is truly no linear path to a successful and happy life. I grew up in a household where academics were viewed as the center of success. My parents really pushed me into going to grad school and although it's a decision I would've made on my own, I wish they had been more supportive of me learning in different ways. It's important for me to get through this program and focus on doing well in my classes this year, but I also want to take a step back after I'm done in May and do some of the traveling I put off. I think I'm the happiest when traveling and I need to learn to make the leap and plan a trip on my own because it's something that I value and other people won't always agree with.
I need to get out of my head, and do the damn thing. And quit over thinking it. Just DO things. DO art. Do bike rides. Do hikes. Do love. I hold back out of fear, and need to dive into the fear and embrace it. In the past year I learned and reflected a lot about the journey I'm on. I learned I have all the answers, and will slowly uncover and discover them. I also learned, that the journey is just as valuable, and I don't want to arrive yet. I feel like I do, but the journey is where you learn and grow and soak up the goodness. I hope going forward, into this new year, I remember these two things.
Probably will give in and get surgery on my shoulder and hand. I would like to walk more, but without someone to walk with and without a dog for protection, I don't dare do that. I hope I can start contributing to a 401K. No advice, just my own thing. I'm old enough I have no career improvements I would like to make. Family is great right now so no improvements there. I take it for granted that I will improve in my knowledge of Judaism, so I have no goals there, except to keep reading and learning. I've already set the goal this year to go to Shabbat services at least once a month.
I want to be healthier - in better shape and feel better about how I look.
be myself. I do much better physically, emotionally and spiritually when Im not insecure.
Chalene, baby! 131 diet, formalizing exercise, getting more into the habit of setting goals and doing small(ish) stuff every day. Here's what Chalene said that really has resonated with me: You know what you have to do. Do it. Or don't do it. I don't know why that speaks to me - maybe both the simplicity of the "Do it." along with the implicit grace you grant yourself when you actively *choose* to not do something. Whatever the reasons, those 3 sentences resound in my head day after day. I will keep them close.
“In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death. I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever approaching thunder, which will destroy us too, I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again.” -Anne Frank
Just do the things that make you scared oh and please stop be scared of what people think of you, trust me they're not worth just remember all of my dreams and your dreams now (oh and if you do anything illegal I will kill you) ok bye I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
I W A N T T O S U C C H A R D E R N O O B
i wish I would not get depressed as often. My old counseller from my old school said that I should concentrate on breathing and the happy moments when they come. Someone once told me that life damages us, but we need to heal.
Try to challenge myself even is it takes one year I will still try to do what I can.
I would like to improve myself by playing foot ball and get better at throwing and catching so i can be more of a really helpful team player.
I'm afraid I have to repeat what I said here last year. I haven't mastered this yet. To be honest, I've barely even practiced it. I need to do a lot better next year. I'd also like to be more forgiving of myself. Just the convo w/Wendy today about "so what if I had an unproductive week" was telling. This weather was the kind I live for, and rather than indulging gleefully in all the pleasure I gain from it, I berated myself for doing those pleasurable things instead of working. But I'm a hard worker, historically, and I'm pretty sure there'll be a week when I'm so inspired that I write nonstop. Do I have to feel guilty until that happens? On the other hand, isn't pushing through to productivity IN SPITE of weather that makes you want to curl up and read and do genealogy and organize photos and cook soup the very definition of discipline? (Whether applied to creativity or other traits.) I know it's a matter of finding the balance. Right now it feels like balance maybe isn't a day-by-day trade (I was lazy yesterday so must be productive today). Perhaps it happens in larger chunks: weeks, or months, or seasons. It feels important to feel into where the energy is at any given moment, to be present. And part of the challenge is overcoming the guilt I have about not following society's timeclock. Especially since I'm now convinced (thanks, to both Phyllis and Trump) that I'll die before my money runs out. I wish there was some pithy quote, some nugget of wisdom I could rely on to help me navigate this dichotomy. I also want to let down my guard so I can feel and express emotion, truthfully and perhaps painfully. And then move the fuck on.
Anita, my singing teacher, gave me the best advice a couple of weeks ago: do less. What she meant by it was in reference to how I project my voice when I sing, how I try too hard, how I expend more energy than I need to. The magic happens when I don't try. My natural power and ability shines through and does it. I have a strong tendency to try to mimic rather than trust my own voice. I've had this problem all my life. Trusting that what I have to give is enough. That's why I always am trying to do more to compensate for what I believe I lack. And I swamp the system with overload. If I don't try I do better. I sound like my actual self. It doesn't feel like work. When I remember to tell myself to do less, everything comes out truer, more efficient, more specific. This is less is more, the kernel of that. I'm always taking myself out of myself- traveling outside the bounds of me to explore, to bring back something exotic. Something rare. But tapping into yourself is the best and rarest thing. Nothing can actually top it.
I would like to build a routine for myself that keeps me happy and focused. I find that I spend a lot of my energy on worries, what ifs, or over-analyzing what's done. Moving forward, I want to support myself, my career, my relationships, and my health by building a sustainable self care practice. I accept that bad days, sadness, or anxiety might come my way -- these things are all part of life. But I want to spend more time in the present overall. To me this looks like: -waking up at the same time each day -exercising and practicing yoga regularly to blow off steam -drinking lots of water and less coffee -nonjudgmentally noticing my feelings (both positive and negative) as they come up -doing the best I can in each moment, and not focusing too much on the past or future -interacting with others from a place of kindness and love, even when I'm feeling anxious or sad -accepting and loving myself even when I make mistakes -taking time out of each day to think about things I am grateful for
I would like to have a healthy weight and do meditation regularly. A piece of advice that could guide me is that Sharon Salzburg says that meditation takes the edge off or something like that. And the young meditation teacher from June said that it is life changing. Theresa Funk was saying that she wishes to be this peaceful serene person that other people wonder about. I'd like to be like that too --- this calm, like Father Jim often has, the Dalai Lama has -- this peace that deeply spiritual people have. Ken Pastera is kind of like that too and that lovely man I met in Nicaragua and the Mariposa. However, to improve my life I need a plan. I've been trying to lose weight now for most of my life!
I'd like to let go of regret. I have learned from others not to ruin today with what happened yesterday.
I would like to learn to not judge others, to not gossip about others, to generally mind my own business. I read a book about the judge, the victim and the book of hell. It really influenced my thinking in a good way. It was freeing.
To consistently meditate
Not take myself so seriously. Listen more, talk less. Be less swift to judge.
I would like to be more understanding and kind to myself. I would like to reduce the stress that I carry around and just be happy to be me. Yes. from my therapist "i am enough. i have enough. i do enough."
I would like to continue with my new diet as well as exercise. I think being physically fit is and will help me better handle stress at work. I would also like to continue spending as much time as I can with my family.
Wise counsel to myself is to consider me 1st; enough of feeding into others for the time being. Spend quality time attending to the immediate concerns in my life that will propel me into the future.
I want to continue to take good care of myself physically and emotionally and to make my loved ones a priority. I want to make my husband feel loved and cared for every day and to strengthen our relationship with acts of consideration, moments of humor, and opportunities to share fun and fresh activities. I want to continue to focus on gratitude for the good fortune I have had and make sure to savor each day.
"It takes balls to be a woman." And "Today was a bad day, it's ok." Days aren't always going to be great. Someone is always going to disagree. But I have to pull through and show not only that i can, but that I deserve to. As a woman and a human being.
I need to get better at recognizing what I need versus what other people need for me. I will be successful in my own path, but I need to listen to my own personal story. I might disappoint people. I might not be paid as much. I might question. But I want to learn and grow and challenge myself, and that is my own responsibility. No one can decide what I need or what's best for me and I need to start owning that now.
It would be nice to find a good balance between work, home, husband, father, kiddos. It would be really nice to have time for the arts, and to foster my creative side. Be more grateful.
Hang in there. Think long term. Learn all the things. Only do what you really want to do.
I need to feel like part of a community. I hope I can find that in synagogue. I am improving my life through solitary Mussar practice, but it's not enough. I need to get better at working with others, in all fields of endeavour. Typically, I have not even solicited advice in the matter!
Currently in a transitional period, so I would like to experiment more. Try new foods and things, and explore more.
I want to continue improving myself, continue accumulating knowledge and experiences, and continue building my relationship with my new wife. I need to think about what I really want to do with my life, and how I can best use my talents & skills to make my mark on the world. I know there's something out there for me, but I'm still trying to figure out what that something is. For now though, I want to continue learning as much as I can, and I suspect that eventually that passion for learning & knowledge will translate to a career that fulfills me spiritually and financially. In terms of advice I've received, a lot of it happened on my wedding day, with lots of people telling me how to have a successful marriage. There was some good advice and some pretty useless advice that was meant just for humor. But one thing I know is that marriage is going to be an adventure and a never-ending learning process, and I'm super excited to be going through that with my wife.
healing wrestling and letting go of my self hatred/self loathing realizing it doesn't help or serve me to hate myself abundance love breathe discernment
I would like to be more vulnerable, less questioning, more authentic and less secretive. More open, less self-judging. Piece of advice? Trust yourself. Don't question what your knows, or you think is right for you.
Date nights.
I would like to learn to love myself. To be less judgmental of myself and to let go of my perfectionist tendencies. People have inherent worth. Ed Patton asked: would my future child have to do anything to have worth? For you to love them unconditionally? This is important for me because I use a shame based approach to life and I am trying to accept that I have inherent worth myself.
I would like keep building calm in my life. Enjoy doing things I like. Build relationships. I'd like to feel more in control at work and less overwhelmed by workload.
LET LOOSE. Let yourself make mistakes! It's okay to not be perfect! Don't be so hard on yourself! Love yourself. No one is judging you as much as you are judging yourself. So stop hurting yourself. Don't lose the trees for the leaves. STOP AND MAKE CHOICES. Choose what is the most meaningful, the most important. No one's expectations matter - only what you want from yourself. Live without regrets. You only live once. Be kind to others around you, including yourself. Treat your family and yourself, your inner circle, as well as you treat everyone else. Don't forget about them because you are so busy helping everyone else.
To think more and speak less. To have better actions than just thoughts. To galvanise thoughts into action. Having had cancer makes me realise this and because I am gratefully to be alive so well and have such amazing support from people around me.
The best nugget of wisdom I heard last year, "Everything is going to be alright." In times like these when it seems like nothing will ever be right again, this has kept me grounded.
Be More: Do Less aka Don't just do something, sit there.
I want to continue to choose love. I want to act with kindness, especially towards those I love most - like my fiance' and my mom. I want to practice patience and understanding and take the time to choose my words wisely, prioritizing relationships with others over the issues at hand, both professionally and personally. Additionally, I want to be better at keeping in touch with my friends who don't live where I do.
Focus more on my well being and less on others. Just take baby steps if that is all I can do, but just do it.
I would like to increase my emotional belief that G-d is Good and that He Loves me by focusing on the constant blessings He Showers on me. I also would like to rise every day with my purpose in mind and on my lips. Additionally, I really would like to work on our Shalom Bayis by noticing and accepting one difference between my husband and myself and by picking one topic a week to not complain about. Finally, I'd like to work on my self-esteem by looking in the mirror every day and saying "I am entitled to regard myself as having value and worth because I was created by G-d and endowed with a godly soul. Therefore, I have intrinsic value and undeniable worth, just by being, regardless of doing and accomplishing." Advice? Ask yourself 'How big is this? What wil the ramifications be?'
I'm hoping to leaen more about tznius and the intersection of minimalism and Judaism and inplement both things more in my life.
Have a personal mission statement. Don't be so hard on myself.
I want to continue down this healthy eating and exercise program that I have been doing so well with. I have, for the first time, a lot of momentum going in the right direction. I have lost so many friends that I have a very different conception of time and how little of my life is left so I want to make the most of it. I am so tired of being 100 pounds overweight. It is great that I have lost 24 pounds but I have a long way to go to finally be where I want to be. The Slight Edge by Jeff Olsen is such an inspiration to me. He says that you are always moving in a direction by each choice you make in life. You are either going closer to where you want to go or farther away. I so get that now!!!!
I listened to Lifelong Health: Achieving Optimum Well-Being at Any Age, an 18 hour lecture by Dr. Anthony A. Goodman. Dr. Goodman is a 75y/o general surgeon who really knows his stuff. He urged his audience to aim for incremental change to improve your life. So many topics were covered in great detail, but the sum of it was: eat whole foods, in moderation, mostly plants; stay active; stay social. (And don't smoke!) It's really important to me that, as long as I'm on this earth, I take care of this vessel I was given. I may get sick one day, but hopefully my body will be strong when/if I do.
I would like to improve my health. This is the same basic answer as last year, like Question 7. I had knee replacement surgery earlier this month and want to make the pain and work worthwhile. I want to be a good influence on my family regarding health. The piece of advice that I am giving myself is "Strive for persistence, not perfection."
"Failure is a badge of honor, it means you risked failure" -Charlie Kaufman I want to drive myself to do more things out of my comfort zone. I don't want to be sedentary: I want to change the way I go about things all the time: deviate from the norm and do something crazy. This is the only way I've gotten where i am right now. I want to have more courage to do something even if it feels stupid, or I'm afraid of failure and embarrassment. I want to do things that I don't see anyone else doing
Don't freak out about the little things - just do them. If you're thinking about someone and want to talk to them, make the first move and reach out, with actual words. People like to know that others care about them. Clean the bathrooms more than once every six months, or else they get really gross. Call your parents and grandparents and brothers more. They miss you. Drink more water, and get more sunlight. Read books because it's fun. Have more sex, because it's also fun. But maybe not while also reading, I guess I should keep those separate. Find a creative outlet. Maintain friendships regularly.
Oh sweet jeez, where to start? 1) assume the best of intentions in people 2) start with kindness and quiet, and get kinder and quieter. Be more gentle. 3) talk, and listen. Talk and listen, more. 4) don't assume that Carl knows every aspect of my background,and the effect it has on my behaviour and on my assumptions about his behaviour 5) count to 10 before you start throwing shit. I mean,I don't know which of these is the hardest. I really don't.
I think by taking a good, regular, full-time job, that would be a great kickstart to getting my life back on track where I feel like I'm contributing to the world again. As for advice, I'd tell myself to aspire to greatness by limiting the activities that sidetrack me from my aims. And I know full well what those are.
I want to live with less money so i can feel more I own more my days. I have had a wonderful time at bars, restaurants and big cities. But I have not found true attainment. Many times, i was there on what felt like borrowed time, during weekends or after work. And the anxiety of not being fulfilled or happy about waking up the next day to go to work always followed me to these cool places. I guess i can escape working. But I don't have to work to pay for things that cost me money that i can use instead to buy back some of my time.
I would like to participate in the Jewish community more. I would like to be more spiritual and connected to those of my faith community.
I want to improve my health (I said this last year and it didn't really happen). I want to lose weight and I want to be healthier than I am now. I want to work on my mental health too. A piece of advice? Be good to yourself.
Lose weight, take art, rest more and read more.
For my peace of mind I would like to improve my agility and flexibility physically and mentally. I have been told that my lung capacity is 10 years older that my biological age. I need to improve that too.
I would like to listen more to myself and my body. I would like to travel even more, especially in Europe and without much, reducing my stuff in life generally.
I would like to be happy in being supportive of everyone in my family rather than occasionally resentful. I would like to recognize it as a gift and a privilege rather than a burden. I haven't received guidance that helps here.
I'm about to turn fifty, so I'd like to prolong and enrich my body through continued exercise, meditation and healthy eating. When I see how vital aging film stars are these days, how many old men are still great action heroes, I know this soft machine I possess is capable of another half a century. I'd also like to continue my belated transition into a mature gentleman, awakened to the needs of others and motivated to help.
I want to continue regular workout and health maintenance. My fMily deserves me as long as possible and I NEED them!
I want to get into better shape.
Follow your dreams. That's what I want to do in the coming year. Although, I admit, I haven't really had a serious dream or goal in sometime. So I will try to spend some time trying to think of something Big to aspire to. And then find a way to get it done.
As previously stated, I want to lower my weight and improve my credit. Also, I will not fake another orgasm. It’s not true to myself or my partner. It’s ok if I don’t always orgasm.
I want to have more self-compassion I want to choose myself consistently in ways that are truly healing and restorative, that rewrite old patterns, that aren't just a rush in the moment but that are enduring I want to believe I am worthy for who I am and not just for what I offer and do I want to be seen, heard, and known, and to believe I am worthy of this attention I wish I could have the feeling of being cherished, the feeling of another person believing I am valuable (even writing that brings tears to my eyes)
I would like to forgive faster and love harder. In order to do so I need to be more open with my heart and life towards others and be comfortable with my story; the good, bad & the ugly.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. THAT'S what I must learn how to practice, not just to preach it to myself and others.
I wont to keep true to my choices and not let anything or anyone take me off my path. Stay grounded in my decision .and do not dought that i allready know the answer.
1. Do more Yoga. 2. Teach Yoga. 3. Write more. 4. Submit your poetry. To anyone. Anywhere. 5. Do more Papel Picado. 6. Sell Papel Picado. 7. Find a good place to do volunteer work. 8. Continue meeting new people at the synagogue! 9. Lose that weight you gained while you were depressed. 10. Get your drivers license. 11. Look into places that might let you intern to learn how to raise bees! Be Fearless New Naomi. Be like Old Naomi only better.
I would like to improve myself the following ways: 1) Eating between 12oo-1800 calories 2) working out every day 3) journaling and doing Tarot 4) hanging out more with friends (or connecting) 5) getting good sleep 6) finding my best self The best advice I can give myself is two things: 1) This too shall pass 2) It is never too late
I kinda answered this in the previous questions. My desired improvements lye in a few areas but they all really coincide one another. Maintaining and feeling a sense of control of my weight and my relationship with food. Understanding that you do not need a love prospect to feel fulfilled, desired, loved, and beautiful. There is many a insightful advice that I receive from all of my friends and family but I will as if the above words are good advice from myself for myself.
I just need to keep this in mind: 1) I am a woman of worth and a woman worth fighting for. 2) I am enough. 3) there is always another bus. For the longest time, all I wanted was to be a well educated wife/significant other. After having the re-evaluate the "expiration date" I gave myself in my youth, I realized that the age limit I set myself only hurt me. Do I want to be the single, never married 40ish year old woman? Not particularly, but I also have to keep in mind that my path is my own. And, I AM ENOUGH.
I would like to improve the way I feed my family meaning become a better cook
Leap and the net will appear
It's pretty standard advice by my sister reminded me recently to focus only on what I can change and let the rest go. She reminded me that I am only responsible for my actions, not anyone else's . So, I am trying to stop taking on the burden of the world, stop feeling responsible for every heartache. I do what I can and I move on. I hope I can remember this and abide it in the coming year.
Be consistent. Set small goals and be consistent, something I learned from Hannah. Not yell at my kids - or anyone else - I find that I experience yelling and loud voices like a physical assault so I need to shield my kids from the same. Plan your work and work your plan.
Go back to school.... your new self will thankyour older self for doing it... Heard on Christian radio from the Wally show...
I have realized that I love myself more when I'm disciplined. I like it when I'm good about getting enough sleep, going to the gym, putting in hair masks, letting the house clean, saving money, etc. Just maintaining a personal lifestyle and a sense of responsibility that is admirable and attainable is something that I find myself being proud of myself for, more than having a good career. I think I have proven that I can have a good job with a better than average salary. I have proven that I can attract any man I'd like (in fact, I snagged the one I thought was being my league). I have proven a few things to myself. What I'm still challenged by are these few other goals of self maintenance, saving money, etc. I think if I keep my mantra of being disciplined, that will greatly contribute to my happiness.
Health. I'm healthy, but I could be in better shape. I've been lazy this year in terms of working out. I have so many opportunities to work out, and I choose not to. It's my fault, and I know that, and it needs to change. I have to be an adult, channel some will power, and just wake up earlier to get a work out in. I used to do it all the time, and I can do it again. I haven't gotten any advice about it. I get the opposite, which doesn't help me at all. I kind of need to beat myself down to motivate myself to make the change. I think the excitement of a new job will help. And I'll probably need the extra energy anyway.
To be healthy - both physically (get my knees better so I can run again) , and recovery from trauma. Those who helped me search out EMDR resulted in finding Jean, who has been a God send.
I would like to continue to embrace my responsibilities to myself and to others. I have learned over the last year that I consistently underestimate the amount of responsibility I have, and as a result, I ignore those responsibilities. I have not allowed myself to understand how important I am, or can be, to other people, and also to myself. The more I embrace my responsibilities, the better my life will be. "Both/and, not either/or."
Lord, this is the worst question EVER for a depressed person!! I'm lucky to make it to my job 15 munites late every damn day. And try to guide my group when I don't believe anything I say. I'm having a health (mental and physical health crisis), and they will all be left on their own, more so than often one will claim more hours than he worked (which I have to OK), and the other will send me awesome horse pics on tumblr. This used to be a GREAT job, but it is descending into lunacy, and it's embarrassing.
Be more organized. Be less lazy. Write more.
I want to really work on reducing my anxiety for trying new things. I remember on my mission Elder Saddler was such a downer about everything and so I started to tell him that we needed to find a reason to say yes rather than a reason to say no. I need to do the same in my life. When I ever have a doubts or anxiety, I need to find a reasons to say yes and make it work rather then make an excuse or not go through with it.
Improve? I would just want to keep letting go of all that I'm not, all that's not true, of the story I've been retelling myself and the world "Stay in the fire, what's false will burn and the truth shall remain"
I would like to be a better wife, more focused on all of B's good qualities and contributions and loving gestures, and less apt to get carried away with my frustrations and anger and hurt feelings. I think one thing to remember isn't personal advice, it was something I read from one of those Facebook advertising relationship "counselors" - stop talking about the problems between the two of you (and instead focus on the good parts and the love).
Swim, yoga, meditate, eat lunch, don't drink, quit smoking, practice mindfulness, don't ruminate, go for a walk, establish a schedule, sleep as early as can be managed. Refill medication early and often. You can rewire your brain if you want to. Oh, and do stuff that makes you uncomfortable. As much and as often as possible, try to operate outside your own comfort zone.
Each day you have a choice: make excuses or make memories. Do not lose momentum. Be a closer.
"Do what's best for Hannah." This year I would like to put myself first. I want to do the things that I want to do. I did better this past year but I still have a little ways to go.
I would like to improve myself by continuing to crave knowledge and awareness of the past, present and future through eyes of others. Money will not buy happiness, the time that you waste worrying about wealth halts the experiences you may be missing out.
I feel that I have made gains in several areas of my life and I am a calmer, more musically inclined, and healthier person. So my goal is to keep this good streak up. I want to improve my ability to maintain all the good vibes that got started in the last few months, and hopefully spread them to other people.
Respond to the urging of my Family and my partners... Let go of the detail, address the big picture, make a difference where it matters. Follow my own advice of “do only what others cannot” and my therapist’s suggestion that I might benefit from more focus on “being” than on “doing”
I'd like to push back against my tendency towards sloth more than ever before. That will start with returning to morning journaling (instead of morning Facebooking), pursuing more physical activity and more giving in my community. { choose action for self and others }
I'm going to push my husband to get a hearing aid. Instant life enhancement for both of us! I'm also going to try to be kinder and more patient with the guy.
Releasing other people to be on their own stories, and letting that be separate from my own story
I want to continue to go after beauty. I have made strides this past year, but it's something that doesn't come naturally to me after my Puritan-esque upbringing. I want to spend time on skin products, to make and hang art, to find clothes that I like. I have given myself permission to be blunt with people, so now I want to come back to balance to be kind.
I want to start working through my emotions by feeling them in my body, not obsessing about them in my head. I received this piece of advice from a few different sources this year. I think I want to assume that people love me, instead of coming to my relationships from a place of insecurity. I want to ask for what I want and need, and not be afraid of rejection. This is way easier said than done. I want to try to be as honest as possible with Asaf, something that is SUPER hard for me, even on this trip to America. I want to make the best of my situation, stop feeling so bad for myself, be aware of the world, and take action (donating money, volunteering, going to protests) to support my beliefs. and I want to fucking learn hebrew!
from http://mediakit.blogspot.com/2005/10/we-are-guilty-oh-lord.html We forget that you do not expect us to be perfect. We get frustrated by our limitations and neglect to celebrate our differences. We covet the self we think we should be. I feel dwarfed and inadequate in the face of all of the injustice and horror in the world, and I don't know what I can do to fix it. from http://www.on1foot.org/text/pirkei-avot-218-19 It is not upon you to finish the work, but neither are you free to desist from it. I can continue to be kind and to share what I have. I should not give myself permission to give up just because the problems are so great.
First, I would like to do a couple of things that will help establish me as an adult. I would like to update my wardrobe with some well fitting, stylish apparel, specifically in the nice casual and up range. Second, I would like to fully furnish my apartment and really design a space that I want to live in and that I can thrive in. Third, I would like to do a better job at saying no to opportunities. I'm generally pretty good at doing that, but I ended up taking on too much too quickly at the beginning of this semester. I need to remember to leave room open for "the ideal" opportunity that could come along when I least expect it. Instead of filling myself to capacity and then being forced to go over, I should leave about 5-8 hours of space that could be filled if the right opportunity arose.
When you exercise you create energy. I want to create more energy and reach my goal weight and my strength and flexibility goals as well.
Let go of judgments - when we judge, a part of us dies (wisdom from a friend on a mushroom trip). Love others, love myself. Radical acceptance, empathy, and compassion. All things go, whether we want them to or not.
Life is unfair, but people can be fair. I want to use this as a kind of guiding statement this year. Things happen to and to those around me that don't always make sense or seem right, but I know I can react kindly, reasonably to such things.
I would like to improve my commitment to creativity — devoting time to writing, music, and theatre.
I would like to have patience with Phil as we both get older and our bodies start slowing down. The rabbi's teachings the last few weeks have been very helpful, especially about not criticizing etc. I would like to be more aware of my words and actions to align with those teachings.
Eat better. More veggies less starch. Be less reactive and calmer. Keep moving figure out health issues. Change of exercise for better health.
I don't hold out any hope that things will get better, so I don't have an answer to this question.
Spend more time off your electronics. I still struggle with this, and know that it borders addiction. I’d like to be more present, especially since I know I’m done having kids.
Best advice: Love more deeply. Now.
To know and walk in the character of Jesus. He came for the salvation of many, by teaching us how and then commanding us to be holy as our heavenly Father is Holy, to heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out devils, and to preach the kingdom of God. Acknowledge and study the humility of Jesus' walk, the authority He gave us as believers, and the power of the Holy Spirit He provided as our helper.
Be Calm. Accept what you cannot control and make the very best of what you can.
I can sense that work is what worries me the most. So I want to focus on that. I want to get better at getting jobs. On a personal level, I want to learn more. Specially Hebrew. And get to practice more Danish. The advice... rather than something someone told me, it is something I've been having as a life style lately: I just do what I have to do. And what I have to do is to be a good person.
I want to find more outlets for creative expression. I want to write some short stories, compose some songs, start playing guitar again and do things to express my individual way of thinking.
I need to be better about taking care of myself and spending time with my people. We aren't saving lives, so work can usually wait.
I want to keep improving my organizational skills and improve my focus. Try to really focus on doing things completely and well. I want to also maintain last year’s desire to continue to become softer in my communication, in how I talk to people. Be less aggressive.
Spend time with myself (away from my phone) and figure out what I really want Activism - help others in meaningful ways Yoga every damn day Speak up Learn more about release software Focused quality time with Reid
My "Eureeka!" insight this momentous year is that life throws you so many, sudden, "curve-balls"... You think all is well, when *B*A*M*!! And really-- the measure of a "good" life is how you deal with those "curve balls"... the unforeseen injuries, accidents, sudden death, natural disasters, tragedy striking... How do you cope with crisis? How do you regain your center? How do you re-establish sanctity and safety? How do you attract joy? If you manage to do that, then you'll have created a good life for yourself. So simple, yet so true.
I would like to be less worried all the time, less anxious. I need to have more faith in my abilities, as a wife, as a mother, as my own person and to put myself out there more. I want to be a good example for my daughter and need to change my negative habits for this to be true. I didn't not want her to think about me as I do my own mother.
I would like to get in better physical shape. I think this will improve myself in many ways.
Time is short, loved ones are few. I'ld love to make more time for my family, my sisters and grandparents specially. Cue to the biggest regret question. Also not taking friendships and relationships in general for granted. Everything (human relations related)most possibly needs some work and pro-active behaviour, but if it's right, then the effort put in pays off and there's no need to complain. We work towards our dreams, yeah?
I would like to get out of the emotional / mental slump that I am in and I would like to improve my outlook on life. Advice: talk to someone
i need to visit my family more. you will always be copenhagen.
On a personal level, I want to continue to improve in my ability to live a healthy and well-balanced life. Although my eating and drinking habits have certainly improved, I think I can keep building on them and be able to reflect on significant improvements. While my informal mindfulness has been developing, I wonder what more I can do to train my brain in ways that makes me more present and attentive in each moment.
Glance at the past, don't stare. I'd love to look forward more and be present. Open myself to new opportunities and welcome change, see what happens when I embrace it.
I see that last year I noted that I needed to spend more time with friends, and as I sit here getting ready to spa at a getaway with my girlfriends, it is clear that I need to do more of this - it really fills my soul. In addition, I am not working out and I need to. It really makes me a better person and will probably help with my sleep as well.
I would like to feel better.
Pick a religion Meditate Take a less stressful job Take more hikes Go back to Europe and experience new things.
Don't be afraid to try. I am so worried about failing that I fail to try many things. I think I need to really internalize the fact that trying and failing does not mean you are a failure. It means you are one step closer to finding out how to succeed.
Forgiveness has been really key this year. There is a lot of reasons for me to be angry for certain events this past year but I was able to put that behind me and look ahead without being tied to the past. It opened me up to possibilities and has freed me from carrying the weight of negative emotions
I would like to control my reactiveness to negative news/comments. Dan has reiterated several times for me to "calm down"and "relax" and "wait until the next day" to respond, and I have internalized it more and more. I definitely feel like I am improving.
Again in the area of my education, and also my health...I'd like to start yoga
I often focus on how things could be bigger, better, more noteworthy--I hope in the next year I can find it in me to enjoy my life as it is right now. More and more I feel like I haven't given myself the opportunity to enjoy what I have worked so hard for and am always looking for the "next thing". I think it's caused me to be harder on myself, my partner, my family and friends. I need to learn to relax and enjoy life for what it is.
From the goals I set on the retreat this year, I have committed to exercising more, as well as more meditation and sunlight/nature. There are still physical ailments I am working on, but with all of these combined I should be able to be healthier, happier, stronger, energized and more effective.
My answers to this are the same as last year: I would like to be more disciplined about my creative practice; I would like to be less discouraged by and angry about the things that don’t get done around the house and in our life admin; I would like to volunteer more to do something to improve race relations, heal the impacts of racism and bring about peace in my community and in our country and in the world; I would like to be a better, more aware friend and family member and communicate more often and better with those who are important to me. That I want to improve the same things this year is on the one hand good, because well hey at least I haven't added any new improvements, but on the other hand kind of depressing, because I certainly didn't finish improving the things I wanted to improve so I'm gonna have to keep working on them. There has been some movement, to be sure, but there can always be more. As for advice/counsel that is guiding me this year, I'll quote from the blog post I wrote about my experiences at this year's Burning Man: Last year brought me new appreciation for “suffering cracks us open and lets the light in” and “no mud, no lotus”; this year (or at least this particular reflective moment) is bringing me “take it easy” (which could also be expressed with the classic Pink Heart saying “float more, steer less”), and “self care comes first”, as well as the related perspective shift reminders of “crap or cone” (e.g. you get what you focus on) and “blessings, not burdens”. I'll add to that one more thing that someone said to me this year at the Women's Mikvah: "faith not fear".
I'm not sure improve is the word I would use, but I hope that in the changes that will inevitably come I could be honest and true to what's important in life. I want to be kind to myself and others. I want to live my intentions not merely think them. I read a quote that I can't remember right now but its essence is that we are judged by our actions not our words. I want my words and my actions to match.
I would like to be more present in the coming year. I would also like to take more charge of my life and stop being passive.
I think I would like to push myself in many ways. Certainly in terms of my anxiety but also in terms of seeking help, seriously putting effort into the career search/venture, find time to make strangers lives easier in one way or another, find time to craft, cook new things and feed new people. I want my time to feel worthwhile. Most people seem to tell me, upon parting, not to change. Clearly, there are changes I need to make but I need to believe in those changes and make them a priority. I can do this.
I want to roll with the punches a bit more. Even if I didn't totally agree with all of it, it really resonated with me a couple weeks back when Hannah mentioned forgiving a bit easier. In the spirit of Yom Kippur, I want to think about how I can be better to myself and to others around me through the seemingly simple process of letting things go, forgiving more easily, and expanding less negative energy. It sounds trite, but I want to take the high road a bit more for my own personal sanity. I don't need to correct everyone else if I feel like I've been slighted. Further, I don't need to slight them back. I want to learn to manage myself and my reactions a bit more.
Pace myself, be better at understanding how my worklife affects the rest of my life and take rest appropriately to be successful.
I'd like to stand on my own two feet more, and not rely on my husband or others before I undertake something. I was giving the advice that a need a plan for my retirement, and I can see that this is true. I'm still somewhat floundering.
Manage my stress more effectively, take care of myself better physically, be happier...
The Dalai Lamas notion of being grateful for my enemies for they are my teachers.
Great question, 10Q! Improve? I want to be more gentle and playful and hold the HARD WORK less seriously, with a wink, even. I want to be more generous to my friends and family with my time and love, and to host more Shabbat dinners. I want to transmute my creative powers into consistent paid work in which my light can be seen fully. Paid to tell stories. Paid to act. Paid to write. And beyond a fiscally and physically sustainable creative life - I desire for the work that I create to truly be in service by helping others TRANSCEND, feel INSPIRED, ALIVENESS and EMPOWERED --- with GOOD STORIES, and GOOD ART. I wish to be the conduit, and I wish to devote my self to this craft. I wish for devotion.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!! You have the ability and are good at what you do. Work harder, squirt slacking off. You've got this girl.
The best advice I learned in the past year was for my physical therapist. Everything she taught me was about small movements make the biggest changes doesn't have to be long it doesn't have to be hard exercise. Just small changes on a regular cycle make a huge difference. I'd like to continue that for the coming year and being a more centered calm state
I would like to be more deliberate and purposeful in my volunteer activities. Be carefully selective in both what I volunteer for and why I'm doing it. I need to ask myself more often, "What is my motivation for being involved, what will I get out of this, what satisfaction do I expect, and how will I contribute to the betterment of others, and the world?" Select carefully. Take time to contemplate.
More focused on the "big rocks," living abundantly. My daughter living contentedly. Yes, in coaching someone else. She is moving forward. I am staying stuck.
I want to continue to improve my health and my husband's and son's health too. My doctor said you cannot get health from a bottle - it has to come from your lifestyle. I also need a new job and more ways to make money and save for retirement.
By going back to school.
I want to continue to explore and reach for new adventures and to push myself well past my comfort zone. In this way, I will grow in ways I have yet to understand
I want to be more genuine and present. Authentic is the catch phrase today. the advice was "just be".
My social work mantra: Do no harm but take no shit. My trip to the Bay Area this year made me realize how much happier I am when I am prioritizing creativity. I want to spend my free time doing things that are more creative and active, instead of just passively consuming media/internet. More writing, reading, projects, outdoor time, physical exercise, new ideas.
I would like to be more quickly and productively responsive when opportunities present themselves. I don't know that there's advice or counsel I received that could guide me in this, except to remember that each time I was responsive, productive, and immersed myself in an opportunity, great things came of it.
I really need to not gain weight and continue to loose. Winter is always the hardest time for me to not gain weight. Advice...you can do anything for 2 weeks..... I need to loose 20 lbs
Be in the moment! I want to really embody this mantra - I am whole and worthy of love. Worry less. Stress less. Love more. Flow more.
I need to balance self compassion with compassion for others. I need to continuing journeying inwards so I can more authentically interact with what is on the outside.
I don't know!!! I keep trying to change myself and my life and I think it makes me more dissatisfied. I just don't know how to do this.
I would like to exercise regularly. I want to be less judgmental and kinder.
I will enjoy Patrick more and bring the practice of the community meeting home so we can stay better attuned and connected. Turn the TV off when he comes home to check in--how was his day, how was my day. I will get out of bed when I can't sleep and read, draw, write, or paint. Be proactive when energy is not conducive to sleeping. I will take time to meditate more than I have this year. Simply breath in a quiet place. Of all things to remember--in any given moment I can be the difference for something good and indestructible and I don't even have to know what or how that happens. I simply have to know it and believe it in the moment.
I had a great person that became the interim director for 3 months and he was so helpful in my growth as a leader. I try to use the skills he taught me. Specifics could be that I tend to make a situation into a bigger deal when I really have a solution in my head. Stop and think things through.
I would like to make time with my husband more of a priority. Maybe we need to set up a monthly date night with a babysitter but also the small things like giving him a head rub. I would feel better for doing it.
Follow this and you'll own yourself, then you'll own the world: - Be someone that makes you happy. - Day one or one day. You decide. - You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It's their mistake, not my failing. - Don't promise when you're happy. Don't respond when you're angry. Don't decide when you're sad. -People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.
I’m tired of accepting my body the way it is. I’m tired of my clothes fitting tightly. I want that motivation to be in shape because it’s something I can control. I have my gym membership and live less than a mile away, so where’s my motivation? I see pictures of myself a few years ago, when I was well under 200 pounds, and I want that again. I’m tired of being out of breath and exhausted and want to make that change.
I want to lose weight and get fitter! I have made a good start. One thing that has helped to stop mindless eating has been not to eat after finishing dinner, usually by 8 pm.
It saddens me to see my last year answers. I would still like to take that cruise. We did go to the spa with friends for our 50th but it didn’t work out great. If I keep up with my exercise plan this could all work out
I'd like to just be more of a confident and trustworthy professional. I want to be respected, and I want to have earned it. I feel like I'm ready to know what I'm doing.
Be more brave! Contribute more than I criticize. Focus more on what matters and take action for anything that needs my attention and let go of the rest.
Stop spreading myself too thinly. I'm not doing anyone any favours by taking on more and more without accepting I have limits. A really practical suggestion I received was to allocate time to activities throughout the day. This sounds basic but I rarely do it: I just have a long list that I never get through and then I get panicky. If I could set realistic time frames then I'd also be able to see when I just don't have enough time to take on more work or commitments.
I would like to improve my patience and focus on mediation. I hope to be more playful and graceful with my body with a full focus on Acro yoga! My advice to take is truly stretch my body, especially when traveling! Ensure I can make a practice wherever I go and share it with those around me.
A big question. Professionally, I want to grow my academic portfolio. I want to present at a few conferences, publish a few papers, gain respect of my colleagues for my work. At home, I want to be a better partner and parent. I want to share the load better. I want my wife and children to think of me as a good person who is there for them.
In the Happiness book by Ricard, there is an image. Imagine carrying around a bag full of provisions. Within the bag there are also rocks mixed in. Most of us do not go through a sort out the provisions from the rocks. We carry the heavy bag around not knowing if what we pull from it will nourish us or weigh us down. This is because when asked what makes you truly happy, in a deeply rooted way, most of us don't know. Most of us are distracted by momentary happiness, by desires and wants, rather than by deep rooted happiness. I would like to sort out the rocks from the provisions and discard that which is weighing me down. To do this, I think I need to spend some time thinking about what actually nourishes me and what appears nourishing but isn't.
I would like to not get "flooded" when I have conflicts. It would be nice and helpful if I could remain present and process more effectively, especially when I'm in the presence of those I love. Also, I would love to continue on the path of reducing my stress/anxiety. My body can't handle it any more, and I don't deserve it.
Get healthier. i.e. arthritis, if in fact that I have it. Carpal tunnel syndrome. Work out more and get fit. GET OUT OF DEBT AND MAKE MORE MONEY. SAVE MONEY.
I still feel like questions 6 and 7 are quite similar, or at least could be combined. But anyway: I'd like to be less careless. I make so many silly mistakes, and every time I say to myself: okay, come on, that's the last mistake you're going to make, you need to pay more attention - I still manage to make a mistake. Unforced errors, as they say in sporting situations. I also need to do more exercise. I keep saying to myself that I should go for a brisk walk around the parks during my lunch break, particularly now I've started listening to podcasts again, but I always find some way to just waste my lunch break. So I hereby set myself the following target: to go for a walk three times a week for the next year. Let's see if it lasts...
More P.I.E.
Not really. I know what I want to make myself happier, but I can only control some of it,
I'd like to be focused on improving my health, especially now that I know that I'm growing a wee little baby in me, health is at the utmost importance, both for a smooth pregnancy and for the health of my child (typing this out hardly even feels real yet! I only found out yesterday that I'm pregnant!). I think the piece of advice that I will hold onto most dearly is to trust myself and take care of myself. So often I've been encountering doctors that make me feel like I'm crazy and that my health issues aren't real, and I need to remember to trust my body, and trust that I know myself better than anybody else and to take care of myself however I feel my body needs.
For some reason, this year I feel that I've turned a bit of a corner. I was able to ensure that my shul's High Holy Days services went well, I was able to get a better job, and I think I'm starting to like who I am now. Over the next year, I'd like to start eating better, get fitter, and maybe meet someone I could share my life with.
I like to keep balancing my creativity outlets by attending the cooking meetups, the art studio where I paint and finding daily release in exercise. Further I would like to find a friend a soulmate to share all things life has to offer.
The words that stick out to me came from Maddie: Surrender to that which you cannot control. I’d like to do more of that, and in turn do more of controlling what I can control. My other mantra is Enjoy The Ride. I am so goal-oriented, I often diminish the moments as I keep looking forward. I’d like to focus more on present time and remembering that it’s a lot easier to let go and enjoy your time rather than worry about how you’re not yet where you want to be. That’s what life is. It’s a long road to death. The whole point is to enjoy the ride. So that’s what I’m working on.
I am trying my hardest to be more spontaneous...I want to live more in the moment....Not as mush phone poking....
I want to eat with more intentionality. Perhaps I should challenge myself to say the proper blessings before/after I eat this year. I usually pause to think the blessing before drinking but not always before eating and it's usually she hakol instead of being more specific unless it's fruit or wine. I can do better. This year I've struggle with fitness and a goal of weight loss without seeing any real results though I have been more active than last year. Perhaps by focusing on my body more as my home rather than my shell I'll feel more at ease in my home (body) and that will also have positive health and beauty outcomes. On a related note, for a few years I've been thinking about dress and becoming more earnestly a tznius fashion icon for myself. Not that other people need to notice what I'm doing but for me to grow into a style that appears elegant and effortless but also undeniably tznius if so judged. Striving towards these goals should be my intention for the next year.
I would like to improve my relationships with family and friends. Many people are not speaking with me: Len, Cohens, Becky, Larry S. They won't tell me what I did to make them not speak with me. I would like to have a group of friends I can count on. I am trying to find advice or counsel that could guide me.
I’m still working on being bolder. That’s taking a while to get a hold of, and continues to feel important. A recent advice I heard was to replace fear and anxiety with curiosity. That can be a help when I feel called to boldness but am not ready.
The best advice has been to "sit there and equatate", to recognize when what I have yearned and worked for is right in front of me so notice it, and relax into it with gratitude and joy. It may be the time of life when everything that has been worked for, is here.
Would like to feel better about my physical appearance, and would like to feel more serene. Lose weight, exercise.
I would like to lose about 50 pds, and learn how to eat properly. I’ve learned how much of an asset I am, and I’ve also learned that I project my work ethic and morals into others and everyone is not me. I realize that I’m much stronger than I will ever think.
As always: I'd like to lose weight, be healthier etc. I have to do it. Nobody else is in charge.
I'd like to improve the way I handle negative situations including people being negative or challenging or life circumstances that require deliberate action to navigate through. The best thing I can tell myself which I often do is 'Don't React'. Let things that are happening happen and think, in the moment, about what will be the best way to handle them. I tend to react aggressively sometimes and wish I didn't. Remember: "Serenity Now" :-)
I would like to "have more going on" Some more social contacts and things to do. I want to try some things that are different, but still within my introverted comfort zone.
I would like to stop and smell the roses more often. I tend to skim everything and never get a chance to breathe.
Don't fear that you will forget who you are because you are surrounded by those who are not like you. Kata, find a teacher and Make It Free -- I have been finding teachers left and right. I want to find My Teacher. I liked what R said about doing what's needed to get what you need. "If I am not for myself, who is for me?" I would like to seriously commit to the swimming and running. Running if it's too cold, swimming if it's too hot. It's your body. Your body needs you. Don't make yourself throw up. But go for it.
This year, I learned the quote, "Do something today that your future self will thank you for." I had just been searching inspirational quotes for fun on google, however when I found this it really struck me. I want to live by this quote, and really do things based on the quote.
Who care what other people are doing, its never worth talking about and I received this advice from Emma.
I want to better understand who I am, at my core. I want to feel more intimate connection with others, and I believe - thanks to an incredible therapist - that this is how. I believe that it will help me better realize my value, and help me more confidently and genuinely connect with others.
Get physically fit again!!! Hold myself to a meditation practice. Let got of my anxiety. (Related to #2.) Make my house even more beautiful and comfortable and welcoming. Give my love, devotion and patience to Jeremy on a more consistent basis.
I want to get better at morning and evening prayers on a daily basis.
Don't put things off. Especially things you want to do with or for others. You never know when someone might be taken from you. You never know when you might lose the ability to be there for them.
I would like to feel more fulfilled and happier in my work, and less stressed in balancing work and life. Stress has been way too high, often about stupid housekeeping things. That needs to go. I would also like to more kind and patient with my parents. We're still in a tense phase of recognition that I'm an 'adult', and I think the next step to a much better and healthier relationship rests with me.
I want to be the best version that I can possibly be. I want to volunteer my time to a worthy cause and find a place where I can make a positive difference for other people. I would like to leave depression and sadness behind and I would like to take control of my life, my mind and my spiritual development. on a practical level, besides going to therapy, I'm determined to take more risks, to travel more -short long weekends- and to be more flexible at things.. to be fool and enjoy simple things and take yoga seriously and taking care of myself more! The advice I would give myself: Always remember that G*d is loving and merciful and he knows what's best for me, he knows what I need so I just need to listen to my soul more often, I need to trust that I'm in the right place at the right time and I need to remember to give 100% of myself in everything I do. Everything will turn out even better than I imagined.. it's been like that so far, why not now?
I am working on surrender. Morgan my therapist is helping me with this. Also, on the 9 day silent metta retreat I went on in July, we did equanimity practice - accepting what is in myself and my life and in others - and releasing the desire for things to be different. I found this meditation practice profound. And I realized when I got home several of my loved ones had done things I wished for them but they had had to do on their own. Next year, I hope to cultivate my ability to surrender to more to things big and small.
I like my answer from last year...continue to feel the obligation to help, continue to work on being more organized. I lost my wallet several times this year, most times it was returned, but this last time it wasn't so I started the STAR system- scan,search, think, attend and remember. I also bought a fanny pack for my wallet. I sure as hell hope that helps.
I want to make sure I get together with friends. Life gets in the way sometimes- work, tired from work, preparing for work... life seems all about work! Wardrobe is all for work- enough already! Get out there and have some fun! Call friends. Get together. Go out for dinner sometimes. Live a little more! That's my plan.
Even more walking the talk. Keep some secrets, the right ones at least. Eat pickles because they taste good.
I want to be better at standing up for myself. I'm a bit of a pushover (unless I'm standing up for someone else.) I can't help but think of the scene from Glee! where Quinn is talking about how she had an eating disorder until she got pregnant. She says something to the effect of, "I realized I was willing to take care of myself for the baby, but not for me." I'm willing to stand up for other people, but not for me. And I don't like that about myself.
There are some words of wisdom spoken by my aunt several years ago (not this past year), but I've been thinking about them often: "It'll figure out." I remember being struck by her not saying "you'll figure it out," but instead this everything-will-be-taken-care-of type phrase. "It'll figure out." I would like to improve myself by getting aerobic exercise more often. I need to keep the trampoline easily accessible :)
"Forget about what other people think, forgive the wrongs you went through in your past, always remember the people that harmed you but don't give them the power to continue harming you." Also I would like to be more patient and less stressed.
"Let them do it? Why not." - A teaching mentor, this past august, when I asked about how I should a tough questions with students. It turns out this seems to be a solution to a lot of my problems. Sometimes I seem to step in too soon, rather than let things happen naturally, or for others to join in too - socially, with family, and work. Just wait a minute - let them figure it out. So thatywhat I will do- be less controlling.
Stand up Straight! I want to have good health, wealth, and a great mind. Keep active, keep saving, and keep thinking!
Lerner says to not eat meat. I am going to really try to eat less. Just watched Okja last night with Ash, and it made me want to never eat meat again! Learn more about gorillas and the zoo work.
This year my mentor told me to stop self-editing when it came to applying for jobs. As the end of my tenure as a lecturer approaches, I am indeed applying for jobs and triaging job ads based on whether I am adequately qualified for them. But I applied to a rather important job at Stanford (batting above my average? is that the phrase?) on a whim, and received a phone interview! I didn't self-edit, and I got through beyond where a CV like mine should go! At this point, it's clear I'm not going to get the job (it's been a couple of weeks since the phone interview, and I haven't heard back from them) buuuuut the importance of "just going for it" hasn't gone unnoticed. I suppose my mentor was giving me the counsel that Nike gives it's clients (#justdoit). I'm going to be more cognizant of my self-editing and apply for more jobs. As long as they are jobs that I could imagine myself doing, I am not going to do the labour of the search committee by taking myself out of the running in advance.
Like last year, I want to improve my weight and stay strong, strengthening my bones and muscles, keep healthy to do things. I cannot stop getting older, but I can slow down the wearing out of my physical body. I would like to keep my mind active also, learn new things. Like I am learning to play my ukelele. A piece of advice would be never stop learning. There is so much advice on social media that I will be seeking hopefully good information. Getting a house will be a great improvement to my life. I am extremely stressed living in an apartment. Spending more time with my family would be good also. I am looking forward to a house filled with family and granddaughters.
Remember you are awesome. Remember to do things where you feel appreciated and valued. Do things because you want to do them, not because others think it is the right thing for you to do. Remember to take time to connect with dad. Live in the present. Live and let live.
I would like to be a more patient mom and implement "pause" into my life. Pause before responding, pause before acting, most importantly pause before reacting. I'd also like to get rid of the clutter in my house. We have so much stuff that needs to be removed. I have the book, I just need to read it and implement it.
Get healthier. Get more positive, or at least less negative. Pam tells me to "look forward, when a bad thought starts, think harder about something positive in the future, it changes the groves in the brain's record player, keeps it from getting stuck" I am still working on this.
Accept that I am enough. Sharing this idea with my women's group and realizing that we all feel we fall short in some way or another.
I would love to continue to see the abundance flow in every part of my life. I would like to personally slow down and have the time to appreciate things more than I have this past year.
I would like to improve my intolerance level - that is to make myself more tolerant. I'd like to think less negative thoughts. I would like to not take things as personally and just chalk situations up to "that's just the way that person is". I would like to increase my "gazelle-like swiftness" in decreasing our debt so we can live and give like no one else. I would like to find satisfaction in what I do for a living.
Create some structure in my schedule and stick with it. Make a commitment to yourself, and to others and follow through. Be good about reaching out to help others. Set goals and review them weekly to make sure I am doing what is needed to achieve my goals.
Continue to eat better, exercise more, have more fun and do things I love. Take more fun trips. Best Advice: Breath More, listen more and live more!
I would like to enjoy my free time and be OK with doing what I feel like doing or not doing anything, without guilt, without unreal expectations. Keep learning and creating, but also take breaks, rest, refill my energy tank. I think that with everything that I have been learning with my health issues, I have also learned how to let go of, or continue letting go of many concepts of control, health, etc. and I can apply this: keeping to let go
I need to make a commitment to actually breathe, to actually take time for myself, to actually give myself the space that I need and deserve. I've been horribly indisciplined about this, and it tends to blow back in my face. If I can actually be a bit more disciplined and recognize exactly what I need and ask for it, I feel like it will help me and the people around me
I'd like to be eating a mostly vegetarian and completely healthy diet. I have 2 friends who are working on this with me. One of them is adventist and although he isn't, Adventists are pretty much vegan. My other friend is well, I think she's had health problems in the past.
I feel really blessed and pretty satisfied with my life this year. I'd like to expand my peace, my ability to let things go and trust I don't need to control. This recent stress with my mom has reminded me to back off and manage my own game...quit butting in to try to improve others' (a good lesson for me). I'm not actually sure what helps me do that; being busy enough that I don't get anxious, and having a variety of activities that engage my whole body helps.
I would like to be nicer to people and not get frustrated with others so easily. I think I need to learn to accept more responsibility. I have received so much great advice over the past year, but none of it to help with this. I think that's because this is something I'm scared to admit.
Continuing to love myself. Becoming better at what I think I'm good at. Namely communication. for a while I was pretty fixated on the Shofar. And how its such a small hole, but leaves such a big impression. Its' noises short, sharp and memorable. Shocking, inspiring. Can we speak the way a shofar does. taking up little time but big space? Powerful. It was never intended to be used this way, it was an animals horn. But it was seen in a new way. Do I need to see myself and my communication in a new way? What would that even mean for my identity, purpose and satisfaction.
I'd like better mental health. And work on self care. There was a sign on a lamppost that said "be mighty" that I took as a message from my mother so I'm going to try to do that.
Step forth in faith -- to believe that there are resources, that there are ways I can (and should, and must) make my mark! So I want to be confident in sharing what I have, while being aware of and respecting boundaries. :)
I would like to find a primary care physician and a good dentist and get check-ups that are long over due.
I want to take more time to enjoy my family, friends and to simply enjoy the many opportunities life has to offer and I wouldn't mind spending less time on e-mail.
Learn how to sell myself better.
oh um see before. But sure I'll add on being more successful in where I want my career to be and how I focus on it.
I would like to get better at controlling my annoyances at my parents. I think this will be easier now that I'm not living in proximity to them, and I get to choose when to call and when to come home, but I've noticed that even on the phone I have been short with my mom when she asks a question that I think is irrelevant or that I think she should know the answer to. And I have realized that if my friends asked me those questions, I would never react with that kind of hostility. So my advice would be to remember that one useful lesson from multiple years ago, which said that the commandment "Honor your mother and father" is really about withholding that visceral immediate reaction of embarrassment, annoyance, or anger to your parents. The honor is in the withholding. I have been saying this for months now, but haven't been great at acting on it.
I would like to continue down the path of personal development I'm currently on. Reading Tim Ferriss, listening to MindPump, being motivated to live better, eat better, and be better. I want to be able to travel for weeks at a time and not have to worry about losing money, and be able to immerse myself in incredible moments and places without the stress of a day-to-day job or worrying about "vacation time."
My weight is still a big issue. That's the main thing I want to improve. Other than that I want to be able to manage all my hobbies better.
I'd like our living space to be less chaotic and I'd like to find more patience with my husband, especially when dealing with this aspect of our lives. Advice: Tackle the clutter in small bites. Stay in my own lane, let go of the things I cannot do anything about. Respond instead of reacting.
So that not every year and every answer is the same, this year's answer: organize my stuff. Make progress on streamlining things so that when we move, there aren't secret hidden piles of things or situations that attract those annoying little bugs that found our chocolate, etc. My husband wants me to work with a life coach type person to help with that sort of thing, so maybe that's what will happen.
Take care of yourself -- a repeat from last year. Don't try to fix everybody else's problems or do everything myself. Take care of myself. Learn to say no more easily. Delegate. Stop feeling guilty for "wasting" time looking at news or reading "junk" online.
I want to learn to really listen to what is being said to me without constantly trying to prepare my responses/reactions.
I would like to take a technology free day, maybe even a few days. Turn off cell phone and the wifi and just disconnect. I think it would be a really beneficial break. I have two friends who do this every once in a while. I admire and respect both of them. I think it helps them to slow down and be kinder o people.
Daily meditation is a must! Its the key for me to having a good life. Everything falls into place when I stick to this. To lovev myself as noone else can!
I need to improve my self-care, which includes my spiritual care. I am so lucky to work in a field where I get to impact society and make a difference - and I know it wears on me. I heard a colleague tell me that all of us in these caring sectors need to be purposeful with our time off. If we aren't, we will drop out of the movement.
Nothing new or different. I will just continue to make positive healthy changes that improve my life and those I live
I want to start eating more fruits and veggies, leave out most meat, and really give my gut a chance to heal. I want to continue my walking habit, but add in strength training, and my PT exercises. I would like to investigate a spiritual path. One step at a time.
I would like to lose all the weight! There is lots I've received in the last year that could help me... I am just lazy
By staying/doing the work in SLAA. By staying present and being of service to the best of my ability w my kids and continuing to complete my hours for licensure as a therapist... "To thine own self be true"...
Be gentle with myself.
OOh I feel like I've answered this question already. I would like to just be more open and able to make decisions quicker and more efficiently, and therefore be able to get things done. I'd like to feel like I know how to structure my day so that I'm not stressed out, have a system for client attraction, for serving the clients I currently have, and have a solid routine for self-care. Advice: pray :). and continue to heal through personal development.
Continuing to work on being more productive AND not feeling stressed.
My goal to learn a programming language is a way I'd like to improve myself. I'd also like to get back into shape. it's time. My motivating piece of advice or counsel? Probably my auntie Cecile telling me not to get any fatter because it'll be difficult to lose when I get older. haha
The same as last year. Focus more on work and study, lose weight. And really start living for myself. (I know what this means - I just need the courage to do what I need to do).
I don't think I did a good job of reacting to our hardships in moving to a new country with a new language and culture. It's easier to have insight into a situation when it is not your own or when you are removed from it Tomorrow will mark 3 months from our first day living in Israel. Things are beginning to feel more normal and we have somewhat settled into a rhythm. In the coming year I could try to be more worldly about how I react to situations. More mature and forgiving. To feel less troubled or bothered by things outside of my control and to honor myself by acting in a more positive way when things don't go according to my plan. I've started to consciously be more easy going about the ins and outs of days. I think a good quote to try to live more closely by would be that Life is 5% what happens to you and 95% how you react. Ready, go.
I really really really want a new job. I haven't found anything yet I even want to apply for so I am hoping the new year brings new opportunities. Actually, if I'm being honest, I don't want a new job, I want my old job, but that's not coming back so I need to embrace that and move forward. I feel like the universe has been sending me all sorts of signals that it is time to make a change and I have learned that I ignore the universe at my peril. My mom always says if you don't make a decision one will be made for you. This is one decision I don't want made for me so I hope I can figure out where I need to go and what I need to do before the universe dumps something on me.
Be more active as always. I'd love to not stay in Madison and move somewhere new and interesting if possible, but if I do end up staying here I hope I take the opportunity to try new things and see a different side of the city. There would be upsides to both, and I want to bloom where I'm planted.
I would like to contribute each month to our retirement account and long-term savings. Maybe be a on a budget. Boring, adult stuff. I am always trying to live more fully in the moment. Sounds cliche, but it's a lot more profound and much harder than you might think. To not dwell on (or usually in my case worry about) the future, but to embrace the moment. Recently it hit me that for most of my adult life I dreamed of being married, I thought life would be a wonderland once I was married. Now I'm happily married and life is good, but it's still mundane sometimes. So I fantasize about other things....like having children. I imagine a contented life in which I'm caring for children. Please. It will be mundane and I will complain. So, why not enjoy what I have NOW? Something I wanted so very badly. Not to mention all the others beauty in my life that I take for granted. Food, shelter, a job, friends, family, enjoyable experiences - I want to savor them and acknowledge my gratitude in the moment. I truly believe this is the key to living deeply and fully no matter where you are or what you're doing.
I'd like to be able to look at things head on. Be intentional with my time. Be proud of my work and accomplishments. Connect meaningfully with others. Surround myself with supportive people. Do work that matters. I'll keep moving in the direction of me.
My old standby: 'when in doubt, do it' Still holds but also 'When you need to rest, rest' Seems more and more important; It takes longer for recovery from Travel, shopping, any kinds of output Of physical effort. It may have something to do with Being 80 ...pretty big number... I like my solitude and sometimes have To fight to get it...it seems to Help me to Re-charge, along with the swims... People say I smile a lot and I hope To keep on..,I hope there will be Enough coming up to continue doing That...sometimes it is So Scary... I want my family safe and healthy! More than just about Anything!!!! I know I've said that elsewhere, but it is Prime!
I'd like to be someone who is more spontaneous; or, rather, more willing to have fun. A "yes" person, with less contingencies to that "yes." Hopefully, transforming into a well-guided "yes" person will bring me to meet more people, try more hobbies, go more places, and help me let go of some anxieties surrounding those things.
I'd like to become more involved in Tikkun Olam efforts in the mental health arena. Specifically, I'd like to take that recovery class offered by NAMI and then volunteer in some way for NAMI, either by learning to teach that course to others with mood disorders/mental illness, or perhaps to help with fundraising, or in some capacity. This thought was spurred by my therapist's advice (Amanda) or comment that what was my overall intention for writing this book? Is it just to make money? And then I could have kicked myself because that really was all I was thinking about for some time. It occurred to me that originally I wanted to really help others, others who either struggle with the illness themselves, or have loved ones who do. What happened? Have I become so self-involved and self-absorbed that I've forgotten this noble purpose? I can't allow myself to forget.
I really want my hair to grow. I would also like to finally work out those little bumps i get on my arms and legs, and i would like to be in the best shape of all time and fully enjoy every moment. be your own best friend.
I would like to transition into housing that feels a bit more easeful. I appreciate what I have and am so frustrated about the ways my life would be more manageable with more space, the ability to find parking, being able to do laundry, having more natural light, and more space to be in (larger space) would be helpful for staying organized, having a guest over, having more hours in the day. If I cannot change my space I would like to find ways to make the space feel tidier and more expansive than the present configuration. Getting rid of anything that I don't need, haven't used in a long time, or doesn't fit me, doing a cleanse of my space I think would make more emotional space for me. It keeps being the last thing on my long list of priorities but it impacts my daily emotional well-being and I would like to set aside several weekends to get that work done.
I would like to improve myself by either passing the CFP exam and/or the PMP exam. This will greatly increase my chances of landing a higher-paying job.
I need to exercise more. I need to walk and do more. Eat less. All that stuff that seems should be easy. But isn't. I would like to incorporate exercise into my daily routines. Perhaps Greg and I can take walks in the evening? Again, the huge divide between the thought and the deed.
similar to question 6. stronger commitment to acceptance and change of that which blocks my happiness, the extent to which i like myself, my ability to connect in healthy ways with others. i feel like i've received a lot of advice. from people, things i've read. maybe think of each day as a day that could be amazing. the best day ever.
My therapist has advised I have compassion for myself. I take care of and have compassion for others and need to have it for myself. So I am trying to learn to love myself and not fall into the abyss of grief and sadness. As well as working on the mental....I need to exercise and lose weight.
To improve myself, I must learn patience with myself and others. I am gentle and understanding with strangers but people close to me are not given the courtesy of the benefit of the doubt. As short as I am with loved ones, I am even shorter and stricter with myself. I am not "stupid" for forgetting a pacifier or misplacing a shirt. It's a simple human mistake. The mantra for this year is - this is small and easily rectified.
I want to independently bring in an income. I know it won't be enough to sustain the family on its own, but I need to know that I can once again earn a living. My dependence on my husband has grown more than I ever could have imagined.
I would like to live in peace with myself. I feel like God has sent people to help me and I need to find a way to keep track of the gems I've received. I write them down, but in a lot of different palces -- journal, calendar, Bible, online, etc. I guess this works okay, because I run across them from time to time later...
Hi me I hope u have learned Spanish, found a great high school that you love, and are having a happy nice life and that Leo, Mom, and Dad are to.
After I finish the 12 months of Parenting Without Power Struggles work (one chapter per month) in order to improve my relationship with my daughter, I'd like to go right into the same work on the relationship with my husband.
Better food, nutrition, meal plan. More exercise and meditation. Feel you feelings. You don't have to figure it all out at that moment. You don't have to have the answer. Be with your feelings. That's something and not nothing.
Breath motherfucker
I would like to improve myself and my next year by *tuning in.* I want to be able to sit with myself. I want to be able to sit with my sadness, my loneliness, my joy, confidence, and gratitude. I want to honor my emotions as they occur, and be able to experience them fully - not push them to the side to dull their intensity. I want to be able to listen to my inner voice and my bodily knowledge, so that I can know what I want and know what I need. I want to know myself deeply and intimately. Then, in knowing myself, I can stand more firmly as I open myself to softly embrace the world. The counsel: Listen, listen, listen! Listen to yourself. Listen to your internal rhythms. Listen to your body. Learn to hear. Learn to understand. And learn to respond to the knowledge you carry within yourself.
How would I like to improve myself... I think it would be to be more articulate in what I believe in and to open other people up to considering another perspective - and in a loving way. Piece of advice or counsel? I guess it would be the quote "Be the change you wish to see in the world."
To get the balance right between being open to love (romantic love), yet not chasing it or needing it. I have got to a very good place as far as not needing anything other than what I have in myself. But sometimes this seems to make me appear unreachable or unaccessible to others. I would like to bring more meditation into my life. I find that hard to do. More calm.
Trust yourself. If I regret anything it’s things I knew to do and didn’t make it happen.
I would like to be more intentional in my use of time. Counsel: "Child of God. Keep your hand on the plow and your feet on the path set before you. In the short term or in the long term keep planning forward. In clear skies or overcast skies keep looking forward, in small steps or big steps keep moving forward. Walk firm in faith, steady in confidence, certain in hope. Lean hard upon His promises, knowing they will not crumble. Prepare, plant, water, weed...fruit will come, ripen, mature...there will be a harvest." (Roy Lessin)
I need to take my own advice. Draw a little, every day. Draw little jokes, snippets of dreams and stray thoughts and sketches that go nowhere. Write a to-make list and stick it on the damn wall!
I'd like to continue doing things that scare me...whether it's a physical fear (like handstands or trying trapeze or rock climbing) or emotional or mental fear...like not trying something to change my life because I'm afraid to fail. I'd like to read more and be online less. I'd like to study other world religions and find more time for prayer and meditation. I don't remember any specific advice from last year...but maybe my ears aren't open enough.
I want a more equivalent, respectful marriage but am not sure how to do that yet.
I want to feel more comfortable in my skin. I want to participate in more experiences instead of "playing it safe." Challenging your perceptions, changing your behavior, and taking risks is scary - it’s IMPERATIVE to be kind to yourself
I would like to become more patient with myself and others this year. I would also like to learn more about financial planning, instead of freaking out every time I need to make a decision related to money. My mom is a big fan of the saying "Life is a journey, not a destination", which is definitely an important piece of advice for this situation.
I will learn something new. I will learn to become a great writer, of calligraphy. I will learn this type of writing and create inspiring , positive boards of art. I will sell them, this will become my new life. No, no advice has been given but I have thought that to be happy, we must do things that make us happy.
I'd like to realign my work with my passion (maybe I need to articulate my passion). I'd like to feel comfortable with myself and my body again. I'd like to feel like I'm back in control of my life.
Practice, practice, practice! Do it daily, be present, breath, be nice with yourself, everything will be alright.
I would like to care more about my health, to the point of losing weight, gaining strength & stamina. I can't think of any advice from the past. I just need to focus on now.
"Change One Thing." My tendency is to throw everything against the wall and see what sticks. And as soon as I feel a bit better, taking on way too much. So also, "Subtract One Thing." I think i'll do a needlepoint!
I would like to have more direction in my life. Act upon my desires. Be true to myself and dont get stuck. May need to get help on this, but probably wont. Like to overcome my mental obstructions. need to live on the outside not on the inside of my head. This may seem easy but Im having a hard time with this now. Another improvement is to overcome my fears, especially the fear of failure. My inaction is the result of this. Being stuck is where I am right now. And like society's opinion of climate change not doing anything. ACTION-ACTION-ACTION Move_move_move
If I can continue to heal from this years’ surgeries and get back to my healthier self physically, I will also be healthier emotionally and spiritually. I need to stay busy and accomplish things, tangible things, and share some of myself with others. Advice...live each day as if it were your last, you just never know. And tell people you love them.
Not only is it not always important to be the best, but in your habits and hobbies you don't even need to be good. You shouldn't always be watching your own thoughts. Pay attention to your emotions, not just your desires.
I saw a billboard while riding in a Lyft (today?) that tried to encourage people to visit the Reno/Tahoe area, but backfired and instead inspired me in a broader creative sense. It said "CREATE ART. DESTROY MONOTONY."
I want to be more educated. I want my mental health struggles to be less intrusive on to my life. I want to become more physically fit too. I have not gotten advice or counsel to motivate me but I am slowly learning to trust myself and trust the process of life.
As always, more exercise, more efficient thought-out routine. And my answer from last year still applies-- "I would like to continue along the track I'm already on. I'd always like to learn more. It would be hard not to."
This is similar to my answer last year, but I would like to overcome my depression and work on being a happier person. I guess the most important advice on how to conquer this comes from myself - try to see life through a positive lens rather than a negative one. One thing I've been doing to work on this is to keep a little diary. Every day, I make a list of 10 things that would normally make me happy or be associated with positive emotions, 5 things I'm grateful for, and 5 positive things about myself, either positive traits or productive things I did that day. I try not to repeat too much. So far, it's really helping. I intend to keep doing this for as long as I can and hope by next year, I am a much happier person because of it.
I would like to improve my next year by setting new high goals for myself to work towards. I also would like to improve on my financial situation by educating myself on investing and saving. I would like to improve my mental health. I’m overall very happy but I need to learn how to control my extreme jealousy which strangely stems from personal insecurities, I think. I consider myself incredibly confident but when it comes to my relationship I become incredibly insecure and it creates a problem so I would like to spend time figuring out why I feel the way I do regarding jealousy. I would like to continue to improve on my physical health too. I was on such a great path prior to and during Miss A, I believe that once I’m out of my parents house I will be a much healthier person overall. Overall I love my life but always want to improve. The best advice I was given this year was to have fun...and that’s exactly what I’m doing!
Besides moving forward in the love department, I would really like to get my weight and health back on track. I feel like with my recent foray into meal prep, I’m eating the right things, but portion control is something that I struggle with largely. Obviously that and exercise too. So I want to improve my health and fitness! Additionally, I’d really like to get better at my job with STA. Or least make more money through them. Moving to Garden City was the best choice I could make this year, but I need that to start paying off sales and bonus wise as well.
I want to manage my time and my daily routine more effectively. I have become swamped by “stuff” and want to simplify my environment. I have found an online course that I hope will alter my way of thinking.
This year I would like to learn and build a home for us. Build a safe space for us. It requires a lot of work and this is going to be my main project to focus on I think. And I would like to find myself again after the two crazy years of childrearing.
I would like to continue on the path of self reflection. I would like to continue to question myself, though possibly with a touch less negative judgement. I would like to take more action, rather than continue observing. I would like to learn to be, happy in the place and time where I find myself.
I let myself go in terms of my health. I gained a lot of weight. I weight 170 lbs and that scares me. My family has a history of weight related issues that I don't want to inherit or pass on to my children. I want to lose the extra weight and keep it off. I know losing the weight and getting healthier will help me feel better and be better.
When doing something new, be fearless.
I nourish my body. What I put into my body and how I treat my body is an area I am working in. I look to live the body thrive habits.
I would like to get back to walking regularly. Eating healthier. Weighing 10 pounds less. Keep stress low. Stay active.
walk more, drink less, laugh more, worry less, live more, regret less , love more, lie less, find yourself yet travel and loose self :D
I would like to be more comfortable spending time alone and handling my own thoughts/emotions. I think this will help me stabilize and be a more calming presence for others. "You are your own worst critic" but also "you are strong, brave, and brilliant." Both are helpful in building the confidence I need to run forward without fear. I need to be fearless and willing to fail in order to move forward and upward. I'd like to put myself out there more, feel comfortable with where I am but never satisfied. Balance satisfied with getting better. I still wrestle with this.
The biggest thing I want to do to improve myself in the upcoming year is to focus more on listening to others, taking myself out of the equation and truly listening and understanding others. The other main focus is to work to be more thankful and satisfied with what I have and the gifts that I've been given. To really drill down on what's important to me and to be able to throw off the other forces pulling me in directions I don't need to go. As for an improvement in my life, while I've said it before. I want to work to eliminate more debt and overhead to allow Kelly and I more flexibility when we decide to make a move. I'm very content with our lives currently, I don't feel deprived and it's fun to revel in the small delights of life (a coffee, glass of wine, walks etc). "If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else" - Dave Ramsey "Nothing in this world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty." - Teddy Roosevelt
I want to feel connected to and grounded in significantly more self love and acceptance. My relationship with myself is the most important relationship I will ever have, and it is only from a relationship rooted in self awareness, love, compassion, and acceptance that I can foster healthy, loving, generous, and fulfilling relationships with those around me. I am going through a divorce, and I know that I contributed to the toxicity and damage in the dynamic I had with my former partner. I want to be a part of a fulfilling and loving partnership and have a family. I have faith that will come with self love.
The biggest thing is getting my anxiety and drinking under control. I think my new medication and seeing a therapist are the best things that happened to me this year and I'm looking forward to where it will take me.
I would like to be more involved in my community. I have started to work on this, inspired by the parent groups I'm in, and I see now that I get more out of it by giving more. I am guided to an extent by an essay I read about weekly "family suppers" among a group of friends ("Spaghetti Fridays" maybe?)
Be positive. You can do whatever you set out to do. You are as good as anyone else.
after losing everything i had in storage and at my son's, Advice from my friend that i'm living with and that i struggle with: ALL YOU NEED IN IS THAT ROOM.
Imago facilitator training helping me listen into my blind spots which I can't see but I can hear. Verify what I am hearing, validate what I heard and empathize with other's feelings especially when I don't agree with their POV.
I would like to be less terrified of making the wrong choices in my career and more able to separate my personal and work lives. I tend to take work stress home and let it affect my relationships and sleep and I would like to find better coping mechanisms. A lot of the advice I have been given about finding my next job and career has been along the lines of "just take a job" and, while that is sometimes hard to hear as an intense planner, I think it is mostly right. I want to make sure I chose a solid company with room to grow, but I think the actual job matters a lot less that I think it does.
I would like to learn to only commit to what I feel sure I can do, and keep my word. So that my word is holy. I tend to overcommit, or say I'll do something and then not do it. I want to be more thoughtful about that. And I want to be more thoughtful of others and make time for small gestures, more writing of cards, more wishing of happy birthdays. The little things that in the end mean a lot.
Make choices that strengthen me. Be my future-self's best friend and advocate. Be kind to myself. Be my best friend not only my 'parent'. Be less 'reactive', centre myself, and I will be in more control and better manage the 'flood gates'.
I would like to continue on a path of believing in myself and not being swayed unnecessarily by others. I received some negative feedback and had to work hard to realize and accept that most of it was not true. I’m learning to discern.
I got into a fight with my brother Marc last year. I was so angry, I was ready to write the whole relationship off. He then texted me, hours later, and said "the important thing is that we love each other". This has truly changed me. I realized that love doesn't end because one person does something wrong or says something wrong. Love continues. Now I think about my friendships and work relationships and family differently. And I think it gives me an opportunity to see myself differently. Thank God.
Myself; get involved with more science stuff and go to stuff on my own if noone is free. I know I am great but ofren don't let myself believe it and going on my own is therefore a sign of strength rather than weakness. Advice: be yourself because you are awesome and the person who will always look out for you. If you don't, noone else will!
I'd like to tear out some of the superfluous crap in my habits and activities, to settle up on artistic debts, and be back to making work. Advice: if you don't have a sense of urgency, you'll end up having a sense of crisis.
Share words with the creator. Maintain that personal line, that personal relationship. More timely and structure. More directed and FOCUS with all the many directions and styles that I'm balancing.
I would like to "improve myself" by establishing, honoring, and utilizing safe/sacred/holy spaces in my life where I can reconnect, restore and renew the current of Life which passes through this particular instance of incarnation that is my life. Advice I've been given is "Less Screen. More Green". I plan to place myself more in nature and the stream of life rather than numbing my days with news, social media, and online distractions.
Exercise more to stay in better shape, and practice music more often
I continue to be guided by the serenity: Lord give me strength to change the things i can, patience to accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference. My husband and I constantly struggle with accepting our son as he is. I keep hoping that he will pull his life together, but no matter what the external circumstances, that is not happening. I take comfort in the fact that he is happy and healthy, and hope that he will soon find a way to have a meaningful life.
I think my previous answer kind of speaks to this. I want to commit to things. I want to make a decision and stick to it. Evelyn from the Internets said something like "there's nothing more powerful than a mind made up." I want to make up my mind and strive towards that thing. Whether it's putting out an album, or losing 100 pounds, or learning Spanish, or staying vegan, I just want to DO IT. I also want to keep my word to other people. I don't like how it feels to tell someone I'll go to something and then I don't show up or plan accordingly. I want to be a better person in this way.
Lose 10 lbs. :) Have a healthier diet. (Have improved but slip into the fast food trap so easily.) Not eating fries, mostly meat & veggies/salad but no real weight loss. Be more out of debt. Arrange ourselves & our stuff better in this little house.
I feel disappointed looking at last year's answer. However, I HAVE lost weight. I hope to be in amazing shape by next year, and to be in law school. A great piece of advice I read recently is that goal setting isn't good enough. You have to create SYSTEMS. Habits, in a way. Don't focus on "I want to lose 10lbs", focus instead on "I will run every day before dinner and track my food."
I want to write. I need time. I want to get more psychic space f or me to do that. The advice I need to take is my own.
I want to explore my masculinity. I feel I have worked to maintain a neutral gender life, neither masculine or feminine, but rather human with self sustaining, self sufficient, and nurturing qualities. A piece of advice or counsel that could guide me? I'm going to refer to examples of my friends and the lives they've lead that have met courage, fear, uncertainty with resolve and have lived to tell their stories. It's time for me to be the author of my story, and to tell it.
My advice to myself, is to worry and stress less. I have been over-thinking and overly concerned with the minutiae of life and it's not been fun. I choose how to spend my energy, but when I get in the stress or worry zone it's like I lose control and just let this small detail I am obsessing over suck all my vibrancy. It's not a good way to live. I need to figure out how to cope with mt stress better. Relatedly, something I read recently, from Thich Nhat Hanh, "In our consciousness there are many negative seeds and also many positive seeds. The practice is to avoid watering the negative seeds, & to identify & water the positive seeds." I need to pay attention to the seeds I am watering, treasure the seeds of love, vibrancy, humor, listening and attention. I need to be more thoughtful about overwatering the unnecessary worry seeds.
Just keep working on the things I'm working on. Being happy, positive, and grateful. Being a good partner, friend, sister, daughter. Oh, and achieving balance in my life.
Not sure this year, mostly just want to keep things going on the right path. I'm also working to embrace my own quirks and do what's best for me and not necessarily what's normal. I need to be nicer to the people I love, too. It's hard sometimes to be vulnerable.
I'd like to hold myself accountable to myself. I recently read an article by Gretchen Rubin about Four Tendencies, and I emphatically identified as an "Obliger: meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves." This group is also, unsurprisingly, "the most likely to say they wish they were in a different category." Completing 10Q in of itself is a great step towards meeting my own expectations, and I hope that continues to grow in the coming year.
I would like to improve my way of thinking. I want to look on the bright side of things, I want to be able to go with the flow, I want to not be so stressed out when I can't control my surroundings. These are all based on things I've been told over and over again for the past year.
I've given myself pretty good advice in this space in previous years. Each year, I make tiny progress, each year there's far more to do. -Stop. Breathe. Ask more questions. -It's ok, you're harder on yourself than anyone else is. -You don't need to prove anything to anyone.
Be more aware. Of myself, my thoughts, my interests, my needs. Be more aware. Of how my actions and words affect others. Of the relationships in my life that are worth strengthening, and which are worth letting go of. My advice received is that friends are the family you choose, and that your family's problems are not necessarily your problems. I want fewer but stronger relationships, and I don't want to worry or stress over familial relationships that don't affect me positively.
I would like to be more relaxed and enjoy life a bit more. Not that I don't want to keep working hard, but I would also like to be able to take a deep breath and smile more. I would also like to try and find quality me time specifically to exercise.
I still struggle with balance. My plan is 3 fold: 1) I want to continue to practice daily meditation through Headspace. 2) Increase activity by incorporating activity into family events (choosing active options like going to a playground and having a picnic instead of just going to a restaurant) and daily living (such as walking to school) 3) Participate in Jewish life by attending events, volunteering (like with the religious school) and enriching my understanding by learning Hebrew.
I want to become more organized. To simplify my life to allow for other things and to allow me to use my creativity. I feel that I am always bogged down by 'stuff', either physical, or expectations of things I need to get done before I can move ahead.
