How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?
I know this comes up on a semi-regular basis in these “improving yourself” questions, but I’d like to get a better handle on my sleep cycle. Just as I never quite adjusted from the college daily schedule to the working world daily schedule, I’ve had loads of trouble adjusting to the early-morning school schedule. I’d imagine things will get a little better next year when I can wake up at 7 or 7:30 as opposed to 6 o 6:30, but I’m still finding myself zapped of energy too often in the mornings. I think part of that is a workplace happiness problem: I’m not especially jazzed about going to school in the morning, so I don’t really want to go to sleep and bring on the morning. But part of it is a discipline problem—I know that I can go to sleep reasonably well if I pray/meditate beforehand and read a book for a few minutes, and yet I often get sucked into surfing the web for hours on end. I need to let go that urge to surf the web. We’ll see if it can work.
Daily ask for discernment, insight, knowledge, wisdom and understanding. Breathe Focus Don't sweat the small stuff Choose your battles wisely Trust HaShem
I would like to make better use of my time and not fritter so much of it away on dumb internet crap. A friend who cares about me quite a bit gave me a timer, which of course I have yet to use even once. But it would probably be helpful for me to give the Pomodoro time-management method a shot.
1) Spiritual strong connect with my Waheguru - no more duality. What am inside am 100% outside. 2) Career confusion and stress - need to finish this, and find what I can do well and will do well. This year must be the start of this. Received lot of counsel from Waheguru and Gurbani but not implemented much, though been trying, but failing, falling back to my vices. Next year this time, I want to be free of these.
Oh, boy this is going to sound so normal. Stop smoking, loose weight, take better care of myself. Yeah, that about the size of it. Oh, there is a thing. With an improved financial forecast on the horizon - Live More, Really live.
I received the same advice I receive each year from a dear friend. I should get more sleep and say No to more things so that I can have time for myself.
I would like to become more loving, more patient, and more dedicated to my family, my friends, and the people in my community. The reading and meditation I've been doing helps, but so does listening to the people I care about, and letting myself be more open in turn.
More professionally active. Just go for it!
Do only the things in life that bring me joy. Stay optimistic and positive. Strengthen relationships with those that I am already close to...but, don't be afraid to branch out and meet new people. OK BUT REAL TALK: eliminate self-consciousness. Become the most confident version of myself. Eat healthy. Exercise often. Internalize honesty. Take responsibility. Say thank you, often. Remember the small details. Look up. Talk. Seek advice and help when needed. Stand up for myself. Reach out. Be better at email response (lol). Learn how to cook. Send birthday cards to my parents. Take care of Emily.
Wgen potion of you people show you who they are me And kind sweet and kind being kind is the place to be heard heard and seen glennon
I constantly try to wake up a better and smarter person than when I went to bed. I don't think of myself as deificient in anything just lacking the knowledge I have yet to seek out. If I had to choose it would be to reduce my impulsiveness with women.
It would be nice if I could figure out a way to declutter my life... I've been "stuck" in a mess for too long, and just can't seem to find the energy to clean out my closet, work through the piles of papers, etc. The one piece of advice I've gotten on that front is the "touch" test to determine whether something brings me joy. I know if I begin, I'm going to do a major purge and it won't be that hard and I will feel so much better. But I just can't seem to get myself to get started. If I read this in one year's time and I still haven't dealt with it, I am going to need to call in some professional help!
Answered this one already god damn it. I'd like to wake up earlier. I want to go to the gym consistently. I want to read regularly and maintain good relationships with people I like who are far away. I want to have big projects to work on in my spare time - building shit, fixing shit, making shit. I want to have a big garden with all kinds of shitty shit growing all over the place. I want to shit the biggest pile of shit you've ever seen.
Strong and independent is not what drives people to the top. Admitting vulnerability and needing other people--that's who survives and thrives.
Work on my spanish. Practice every day. Listen to slow news in spanish, watch tv in spanish. Be willing/daring to have the conversation.
I'd like to lose 15 pounds, because I don't like the way my clothes fit. I think the idea of waiting before I eat or spend, to determine the true need, is very helpful.
Ohhhh I feel like I said a lot about that in question 6. Here's a thing though-- I'm always beating myself up about not being a good enough listener, which really means I feel like I talk too much. And yet, people TELL me I'm a good listener. I think when I'm being my best self I share, but I share in substantive response to what I'm hearing, and I hear first. I consider. I don't just react. I know I'm capable of being that person in conversation and relationship whether it's to a friend, coworker, partner, etc (MOM!) but it's not always who I am. I want that to be who I am most of the time. Like the vast majority of the time. Like only if I'm having an off day am I not like that, as opposed to only being like that when I'm at my best. You know?
I would like to be back in a good job. I would like clutter to be gone and a nice comfortable house. I would like to enjoy the moment.
I would like to care less what people think of me, especially as a mother and try and stay true to myself. I would like to take more time for me without feeling like I am being selfish or neglecting people, I have been told many times that you can't fill someone else's cup if your own cup is empty to I need to fill Mine first!
I'd like to focus on execution more. I'd like to take a look at my typeform I made more. I'd like to fill it out more too. I'd like to execute by cashing out all these quality connections as crystallized forms of things that I want. I want to be challenged more. I want to be more present. I want to practice authentic relating games more often.
Be consistent in my practice life. Be kind to myself and offer myself that goodness and time that I offer to others.
Do something about your lack of confidence (see previous answer).
I'd like to really slow down and focus. Do just one thing. I'd also like to be more creative, ala Elizabeth Gilbert.
Routine, routine, routine. I want to level up my ability to create things in the world. I know that my current system of operating: the one in which I show up frantically to each day, wondering what I'm supposed to be doing, checking email as a to-do list, answering the tab on my internet that's most available, using my mind's wandering attention as a way to stay focused — this isn't working. I'm not getting what I want out of it. I've revamped my calendar and I'm focusing on habit creation above all. Habits: the one where I exercise every day after I drop Leo off. Habits: the one where I go to the coffee shop every day after exercising (on writing days) and get a chai while I work. On my book. I write on my book for hours, several sessions per week. Planning: where I plan what I'll do with my day and ruthlessly eliminate what's not necessary. What will I think about this is 3 months? In 6 months? In 2 years? 3/3/3. What will I think about this in 3 hours? In 3 days? In 3 years? (This is a new blog post, I can tell already). It's a great way of eliminating fear. So when I worry about leaving clients or changing the game plan or doing something different, extend the horizon. Ask myself what I'd think in a year, and if that changes my decision. The irony is that I almost cut this -- 10Q -- from my to-do list because it wasn't important right now, relative to the book. But then I thought about how I’d feel next year and I really want to make sure that I complete it. So it’s a tension between having time to plan for things and having time opened up to do less.
I would like to be taking better care of my health--finding out what physical activity I like, and finding time to do it, as well as eating more healthily and making sure to go to the doctor, dentist, etc.
Don't waste time on social media. You lose valuable hours of your day on it, and it makes you feel crap. Be courageous, compassionate and connected. Make small talk with strangers. Be the connection! Practice gratitude and mindfulness. Be wary of the vulnerability shields. BE KIND. No exceptions. But also speak up and be assertive, your opinions do matter. Be disciplined. Don't be lazy. Don't procrastinate. Work out the things that you love and that you're good at. Do them.
I want to continue to Become More Awesome. Breathe deep, stretch out far, pick up the weight and keep moving. As with anything else, relaxation over tension, except in the instant of the strike.
I want to study more so that I can be a better counselor. I want to learn more about EMDR, Internal Family Systems, working with clients who want to make changes with money and with fitness and weight. Also, I’m going to meditate daily. I want to find more joy in my life, and I hope this may help me.
Unfortunately a big part of what would improve my life next year is out of my control, because it depends on the happiness and personal/professional success of my partner. She's struggled for the whole time I've known her, and I want to see her acheive some of her goals. I know all I can do is be supportive - I can't have a meaningful effect on her goals. Worrying about her is such a big part of my life. I guess I would like to have some of my own goals to worry about next year. I have things i'm working on, but no one professional or personal goal that is super meaningful to me. I'm just getting by, and working on feeling okay with myself. I want something bigger and riskier to aspire to.
I need to learn how to become more thrifty and exercise on a daily basis instead of only exercising on the weekend.
I would like to improve my leadership and parenting skills over the next year. I would like to be better at both those and see that the benefit of the improvements is felt by my family as well as my loved ones wherever they are. I think my guide will come from listening more to people around me, finding a coach and spending more quiet tome with myself reflecting
Big question I always like to improve my patience level...my talents, like singing, and even art.... I need to breathe and not take things so seriously...give my self a break....organize things that drive me crazy (Office) and other partso f the house so I can REALLY enjoy it...and then GET A DAMN cleaning lady to help me out!
The biggest thing for me here is really taking care of myself, health-wise. Getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and taking time when I need it. While I do want to challenge myself at work, life is about so much more than that, and I'd like to continue, as a friend once said, "to have a life I'm excited to get back to."
I would like to improve my language skills. Be it Arabic or Spanish, I would really like to look back and say "I took this seriously, and it has made a difference." I need to carve out time to study and treat it like it is part of my job, because it is. Plus it will make every part of life in Madrid or anywhere else much richer.
You can have it all, you just can't have it all at once. Focus on something and go for it. i.e. a weekly writing practice. Cooking. etc. Stop wasting time on the computer and on social media and start living and moving toward my goals.
I would like to regain my self confidence. This year has been full of so many trials and tragedies. It has led to me really not trusting or believing in myself at all. Hopefully in the coming year I can reclaim myself again. Then I will have the strength to move forward.
We are expected to give (of ourselves) all that we are able but not to the extent that it causes us harm. Finding, acknowledging and accepting those lines will improve my ability to care for myself and others.
I'd like to be less argumentative (this election has been bad for me). I'd like to appreciate my marriage more -- flawed though it is. The piece of advice I heard this year was "all marriages do not have to look the same". That was rather eye-opening.
Less analysis, more action.
I just started taking a drawing class. I have been retired ('consulting with no jobs = retired) for just over a year now, and I am now becoming aware of how all-pervasive my work identity had become. That first entire year - I wasn't psychologically 'done'. Now, I think I am pretty close to being mentally done with my professional career - and I had a good and productive one, I think, and one I enjoyed tremendously for many many years. But now I feel like I did when I started college! 'What do you want to do with your life/who do you want to be?' And I have about as much idea about that now, as I did then - I don't know! But I know I enjoyed art and crafts in high school, and I know I have regretted not having enough time to do more art, more philosophy, more 'cultural activities' when I was in college and grad school: too caught up with required classes and working for tuition! Now I have the chance to go back to that earlier self, and see if there is anything 'there', I suppose. I am going to take another art class next semester - maybe ceramics. Or painting. Something. Piano lessons. Who knows?
My primary focus at the moment is finding a job and being able to support my family.
For myself: I would like to start learning again. My work has basically turned into a "desk job" as the company hasn't done very well lately. Hopefully, new business can get us back on track and I can start to do bigger things. For my life: I need to to find another way to supplement my income.
It's funny because just this morning I was on the phone with Maddy telling her to be more selfish and to just do what she wanted to do without worrying about what everyone else wanted her to do. Mostly this revolved around dating for her, but it's true in all aspects of life. I want to continue learning to not care so much about what others want from me. I want to grow up a bit more and mature in the ways I currently feel like I fall short. Mainly, I want to continue to enjoy being the strong, independent (and gloriously single) gal that I am.
I just (just!) want to be happier with what I have and who I am right now. It's really easy to compare yourself unfavorably to everyone from your closest friends to people from junior high you haven't seen in literally 20 years these days thanks to social media. Specifically, seeing people of my age group with their children is particularly painful as my own hope of having of a family is still just that -- hope. But there are so many things to be grateful for ... and social media doesn't tell all of someone's story. For every beautiful picture on Instagram, maybe there's some other heartache or problem that you can't know because people aren't putting that out there. So I really want to focus on believing that who I am, where I am and what I am is just fine.
I want to better manage my bipolar. Advice: it will be what it will
ALLE KINDER WERDEN GROß. The best advice from Doris ever. And "You did the best you could, TODAY." Even if not every day is your best ever. That's my best advice right now for stressing less, judging less, feeling less shame - as a mother. Make my interactions with myself, Jens and Jakob less about what's wrong and more about how it made us feel, laugh it off and move on - about what we CAN do now and next time. Still working on rediscovering my own identity. That's gonna be the improvement of my life. Remember the 5:1 ratio (almost) every day. Five positive interactions for every negative one. And ask myself, as in previous years: What have I done today that I'm proud of?
I want to remember to be kind, and to think the best of others. I want to make more of my own decisions without waiting for others, or for circumstances to make decisions for me. I want to wate less time and make better use of my resources.
I want to work harder and trust people. I want to take my own damn advice that I tell others. I want to be less insecure like I tell others to. I want to be nicer because I've spent way to long being left out, I won't use my time now to do it to others.
I think I want to spend my money more wisely, especially getting some new work clothes and some nice accessories, a substantial winter coat, etc. Have been spending more on traveling in recent years, and on food, but then end up without enough money to replace my worn out, ratty looking stuff.
I need to figure out the meditation piece. Plenty of Steve's advice is valuable,; I need to take the time to listen.
my life is pretty good :-)
In becoming a supervisor, I left behind a lot of creative outlets. I long to edit a short documentary again, or pick up a sketch pad and just draw without evaluating my own work. I suppose cooking has become a coping mechanism. It's certainly a great way to feel engaged, but there's so much more in my creative reach that I'm letting sit on the shelf. As I said in a previous answer, I don't want to set a concrete expectation on myself, but perhaps I can aim to be more focused. Don't let a Saturday morning slip by on Facebook, or an quiet afternoon at work. Draw a floor plan, or a cartoon character, or my own hand. Write a story about space travel or some weird virus in Italy. Again, and it's now becoming a theme, just move forward with intention.
I'd like to get back to the gym and get into better shape. I'd also like to make sure i go to services almost every week. There can be exceptions, like for moving, but other than that I need to go back to services.
Probably the biggest is that when someone gets mad or upset at something that really isn't my fault,, it's acknowledging that it's their problem and not mine. It makes life a ton easier to realize that.
I would like to be more centered. Need people less, need things less. I want to get back into just needing books, and being happy that way. "There is no friend as loyal as a book." - Ernest Hemingway
For next year I want to have told my friends about my dad and I want to be in PT school. I think the only pieces of advice that I could use for this coming year are "Adapt and Overcome", and "the only way out is through". It's going to be a slog through, the next couple months especially, and there's nothing for it except to get though it.
In the next year, I would like to become more trusting of Lee, of my colleagues, and of the universe. I don't trust others to keep me safe. I think I need to take everything into my own hands. I lash out at others when the do things that I think make me unsafe or do not do things that I think I need to be safe. I feel shame when I lash out unkindly. My spiritual task is not recognize that I am fundamentally not in control and to ask myself "Am I okay right now?" I can also practice feeling my feelings as they arise and look for the anxiety or fear underneath and welcome it in.
Use my voice!
Keep going on the path I am on!! I need to keep my moral compass strong as well as to keep working on my mindful practices and keep bettering myself as well as be true to who I am. Not easy with everything but it is starting to work for me!!!
i would like to improve my life by eating right, and dropping down to under 200#. remember portions and serving sizes can be everything. just because i mess up does not mean i cannot recenter.
"Selfish as it is ..." -- a phrase that for years I seem to use (rely on?) over and over again, ad nauseam, to avoid examining or acknowledging my own needs and wishes. How many times have I counseled the kids, patients, etc. that it is actually self-respecting and self-caring to treat themselves in the same manner that they would treat their most beloved? Yet, seemingly forever I have deferred to the interests or needs of others, or tried to be responsible and complete "tasks" in a timely manner, the result of which has been silently biting my lip and forgoing something that seemed interesting or appealing. Of course, I've never seemingly been interested in big "things" or stuff; but, making the time, regularly, to read a book for pleasure? To take a Friday morning to rent a kayak or see a movie? To take Mary out for no particular reason, but simply to have fun together? This idea of constantly being "responsible" has been good in so many ways, yet, I have never included myself as being important enough or worthy of similar attention. As I approach 60 (!!) I'm becoming painfully aware that time is running short -- that unless I truly commit to at least including myself occasionally (regularly?) in the value of being responsible, it won't happen, and I'll continue to feel a sad longing for the opportunity (even as I realize that its always been siting before me). By next year, I would like to achieve more balance in my life, specifically in terms of including myself in addressing "important responsibilities."
I would like to be an abstinant eater, instead of a compulsive/addicted eater. I have just begun learning about the 12 Steps (specifically a more woman-positive and agnostic friendly interpretation of them), and I expect that will help a lot. I have also been figuring out by _living it_ (as opposed to figuring it out in my head) what abstinence looks like for me. That's advice from a lot of years ago that I need to be reminded of periodically: It often works best for me to figure it out by living it.
put yourself first, be clear, be kind
I've gotten good financial advice, I just need to keep it. I feel like, going back to when I started doing these 10Q questions, I've said that I needed to be better about money. Time to stop saying it and actually DO it. Also, along the lines of life improvement, I need to start utilizing my gym membership. I've fucked up my knees being overweight and I need to curb that.
I'd like to get more active/commited to my business and life. I'd like to continue my progress with my emotional and physical healing. I also want to create more connection with my kids - to be that person they can go to and confide in. As far as advice or counsel I received that will help guide me... my business is that for me. I want to keep carving out space/time for me to work towards my goals.
The piece of advice that's most guiding right now is to focus on desire, not should. What do I WANT? What do I want to be doing in any particular moment? I want to increase my contentment and decrease my anxiety, and I think this path could get me there.
"The more you let go, the higher you rise."
My health is wretched, I'm not sure anything can be done.
The mantra "I am more than my pain" is one that sticks with me. I am more than my past abuse, I am more than my PTSD, I am more than my back pain... I am more than my pain. This year, I want to continue the path to physical wellness by continuing the practices of yoga and intuitively eating. I want to continue to turn off those voices that tell me that I don't have enough and learn to be satisfied with what is before me.
I'd like to be on a consistent work schedule, and do well at my job. I'd like to just live a nice little normal life for awhile. I'm Not sure much could improve. Maybe slow down a bit. I'm good; life is good and I'm content.
Keep exercising. Eat better. Get outside more. Take time for myself.
I have to find myself on a different professional path in the next 12 months. Either I need to turn our business around so we are implementing a different strategy with positive financial results, or I need to have a clear plan for winding down the company and getting into a different job. The stress and burden of responsibility weighing me down right now is too much to bear for much longer, makes me miserable, and makes it hard to raise my eyes and see the world around me. Not only that, but continuing on the current path would also make the financial hole deeper, and that much harder to ever get out of. I recently received the advice that you can't get out of a hole by continuing to dig, and now it seems like that aphorism is popping up everywhere. It really resonates with me.
I want to feel good and open about my life nearly 100% of the time- that my apartment is inviting and warm, that I have the things I need, and that my finances are in order and my head and body are clear. I want to keep enjoying the world, building community and being open.
I would like to focus on the future, and not on the past. I can not remember more than 2 joyful incidents in my past, I only retreat to the painful snapshots of growing up, and I go back and replay them again and again. I am learning to re-focus my thoughts on something in the future, that is good and peaceful, and will be something to look forward to. "Focus on the future idea when a bad memory pops up." sanskara
I would like to explore the paleo diet to determine if it would truly improve my energy and health, and I would like to complete all legal and financial planning for Dad's care. A recent assessment I heard was, "It's harder to figure out the moment when you're in the moment." Resisting to attempt to predict and control has been an ongoing challenge for me since I was very young. I would like to practice allowing myself the space and time to be "in the moment," unhindered by attempts to figure out the moment.
"Don't grieve twice." I want to spend less time reliving the regrets of my past or worrying about missing out on experiences in the future. I want to spend more time in the moment.
I want to be healthier and happier. I need to heed advice that tells me to stop worrying and just do what I need to do.
I need to make time for cleaning up my affairs so that I can provide better support and assistance to my wife in her new responsibilities as Leader of the Regional Sisterhood, provide support and assistance to my son as he continues with college, and provide support and assistance to my Aunt and Father as they depend on me for advice and assistance.
I say this EVERY year, but I need to figure out a way to make some time for myself. I need to focus on better overall health, which starts with needing some down time. I actually think once I figure out how to do that, it will positively affect my children, as well. Everything just seems so frenetic and reactionary; I want to have some serenity once in a while.
set boundaries and honor them!
i'd like to get back into my yoga, meditation and prayer rhythm. i'd like to feel more connected, on a deeper empathetic level, to friends. i'd like to be less self involved. i'd like to get clarity about my money, my investments, what i earn at my job. i'd like to make my job more enjoyable. this may be by more trainings, supervision, more full fee clients, fewer hours. i'd like to establish a fuller sense of "home" - whatever that looks like. i'd like to be more patient, kinder, less reactive, more flexible and yielding. i'd like to eat better, sleep more, drink less. i'd like to have space in my life to volunteer. i'd like to root myself in a synagogue. i'd like to cultivate and curate my friend relationships. i'd like to purge my stuff somehow. advice? focus more on experiences and moments than on worry, rumination and trying to get shit done. be more concerned with understanding others than being understood. be nicer to workers who serve you. there is no crisis (unless there really is). have more fun. say yes as much as you can. say no when you have to, and with kindness.
I want to be a better driver in a performance car! I feel like a kid! I've been offered a chance to be considered to be one of the Lemons car drivers next year, and find myself thinking about ways to improve my skills between now and then. Guidance or counsel? I did hear a podcast about how one excels at a skill. First comes a natural talent, but that alone isn't enough. One has to want it enough to focus on the intentions behind the practice. Not just hard work, but focused hard work. Small goals lead to the larger ones.
I really want to get more done, be more organized, effective, and manage my time better. Somehow there never seems to be enough time in the day, and I forget to do important things
Nothing in life is ever perfect but there is always room for improvement. I have taken an honest appraisal of aspects of my life that I like and do not like. Without admitting to some of my deficiencies I could never change them. Too often I just “go with the flow” and hope that things will work out in the end. In order to effect change, it has been recommended to me to set achievable goals, and to make sure that nothing will interfere with reaching them. I have come to realize that the things that I want to achieve will not just happen without me making them happen. In order to achieve the goals I desire, I must take a more active role in all matters that affect me. In order to become proactive, I have to spend more time doing those things that I value which would help me achieve my goals and to block out unimportant, time-wasting activities. Occasionally, conflicts arise that can impede my progress to my goals. I have to learn to deal with the conflict rather than avoid the issue which can sometimes make it worse. Specifically, over the past couple of years I have wanted to become more physically fit. At times, this has been challenging because I have difficulty sticking to a routine. When I was younger, it was easier for me because I was a member of a sports team that required frequent, active participation. Now that I am not a member of a team, it has been more difficult to find a set time to maintain an exercise regimen. In order to accomplish this goal I must be consistent with my exercising and discipline myself to follow through with it regardless of the external forces that may derail my progress. The most effective exercise routine I can do is one that I enjoy. If I hate doing a certain activity, it is unlikely that I will do it. A good way to start is to set a goal of 4000 steps every day. While trying to make changes to my life style, it is important that I do not get sidetracked. Small changes can add up to big results.
This is hard for me, each year I answer this in relation to my health and fitness and each year I do not make it to that goal. Again this is the first thing that comes to mind, but this year I want to be kinder, I want people to know there is still nice people out in the world.
I think confidence is so important, so I would like to increase my confidence. I had an embarrassing moment in a class this morning, but I was only able to make the mistake because I have gained more confidence to actually raise my hand and answer questions, ask questions, and provide my opinion. I hope to continue to grow my confidence, as I think I will see improvements in every area of my life. Talking is a good start, but I need to work on how I present myself. I need to trust myself to succeed and I need to have the confidence to let myself succeed.
I want to be out and open about who I am, be courageous in living truthfully and without fear. I don't want to cower in a corner, being small and who I think people want me to be. I want to be present or even in your face if need be about who I am. Because I am a great person and I have as much right as the next person to take up space and be my own person. I want to continue something that's been popping up occasionally over the past year or so, and that is to jump into things that scare me. Facing fears induce adrenaline, and it's so exciting both due to the adrenaline and the overcoming the fear. It will get me places faster, and move me in the right direction too. Like right now what scares me is contacting a school to ask if I can interview a number of children. doing things like that would normally make me avoid the situation, but why can't I do these things? of course I can! and girls scare me, because I want to be with them and I've never done this before, it means both accepting who I am and being intimate with a girl which I've never done before! It's all personal growth and it's exciting (and terrifying), so I will ask myself "what scares me today?" and then go do that.
I want to learn forgiveness for things that are in my past and let go of them. I am learning now, but I want to be in a better place with it. I want to stop going into anxiety and anger spirals when I think about scenarios that I could have handled better, that weren't fair to me, that were terrible. The advice is: let go and leave the past where it is. Don't bury it, but release it.
Peter will guide me to 199. Less will give me more. Guidance - well, I'm sure Peter has said good things - though the start where you are is a solid touchstone. 'be kind to yourself' says M - and mindfully I should be. Thoughts are behaviors - ergo behave modification can be thought modification… CBT / hypnosis perhaps. A note from May '16 - behavioral activation = getting me to do something vs. me talking a lot. Simplify and make more clear - perhaps only really care about photos for a year - become better at LR, make albumns, books, prints. Allow that to become me for a bit. Simplify and focus; ponder others complexly Unplug, eh? Time Well Spent - nice name. Outside much much more. Be happier. Be kinder to myself and those nearby. Be happy. //10.13.16::s:://
I wish I could be more patient, especially with my family.
I want to finish everything I start. It is one of my life's great challenges: I have a million ideas and I start many of them but often cannot finish. Even 10Q is one of those things -- a thing I love in theory but have not yet even had the time to sit down and complete. I want to make concerted efforts to stay more focused and goal-oriented because that's the only way I can achieve all I set out to achieve.
From the speech pathologist mom talked to while in the hospital: "Stop thinking about what you think you should do and instead think about what you want to do. "I want to be better at expressing my needs and wants. I like my mother have a hard time saying what I want and making it a priority. Its always been much easier to help others get what they want. From "I used to be a human being" by Andrew Sullivan. Electronics and distractions take away your ability to live a happier life and that you should take the time to stop and enjoy the quiet with nothing to do. I want to stop and sit in silence and reflection more than once in a while, instead carve out a little time everyday in which to do it NO EXCUSES. I want to stop my compulsive desire toward porn. I feel that it could be hurting the way I am attracted to my wife. I want to be more sexually attracted to her since I know that a BIG part of the way I connect is physical
The most recent piece of advice I received was "take your ideas seriously." It was given in relation to researchable questions, a research agenda, and future publications. Write them down was the second part of the advice. For next year, I want to have jumped into the water (started writing) even if I do not become "published." Maybe writing more will help the ideas get out of my head so I can sleep better at night!
Not fly off the handle, ever. Fight the battles that are worth fighting AND that can be won. Be kind(er).
I would like to start changing my mindset around the value I add to the world, including friends, boyfriends, and work relationships. I want to not to have to dig for the affirmation from myself or others, and I want to not have to work so hard to need to remind myself that I am a beautiful, passionate, kind soul. Loving myself is the only way that I'll get others to love me.
I'd like to lose 5 pounds at the least, continue to exercise, play tennis, and make time for at least a 20 minute walk nearly every day. It's not advice, it's just a side remark, but I need to remember and not criticize myself for the fact that "not every tool in my (emotional?) tool box is pretty."
I would like to adapt more balance in life. Rather than attacking things like a bull at a gate. I'd like to embrace more wellbeing in my life. Working fitness into my everyday, rather than the sporadic stop start that I have been doing. By this I simply want to improve and become better at looking after myself. Advice that could guide me. there is nothing coming to mind but just be you, be true. make everyday count.
I need to reduce my anxiety, I need to be lighter ( in spirit) and take myself less seriously.
Simplify! Get rid of things you don't love. It's very liberating.
Haven't I answered this in all the other questions? And last year? I want to become more bold and brave professionally, in my relationships with others, and romantically. Elizabeth Gilbert says, fear is part of the family, it's along for the ride, but it can't drive the car or even control the soundtrack. Brene Brown says, when you exercise bravery, and it is awkward, there may be a voice inside you that shames you: "SEE, I told you it would be hard and you shouldn't have done that thing!" You come back at shame and say, "HEY, no, I am winning at this-- it is my value to do the brave, hard things, and look at me doing them, even though they may not be total successes. I am strengthening my bravery muscles, and I'm proud of myself for it."
I would like to improve my balance of time between work and family. I have been blessed with a beautiful wife and daughter. I have an enormous challenge at work, and hope that if I solve the main problems I will be able to spend more and more time with my family.
restraint in food, in talking, in obsessing,
I am focusing on intention lately. Not in the sense of creating your own reality, but why I do things, why I want them. Where does an interest come from, what pay off am I looking for, what lies beneath the desire? I think that can apply to nearly every area of life.
Go do something with my life! Discover what it is that I'm meant to be doing!
Ok, so I am impatient - especially with my mum. Not a nice trait, I can be moody and irritable, and sometimes i see that coming out in other relationships. It's rare but I have to stop it. Sometimes, I see it a little with Itay. I don't think he notices it or cares but I don't like it in myself. There's Rachel - my co coordinator - who's super sweet but not much of a problem solver. I don't want to be impatient with her. I do have an aggressive side. I celebrate the fact that I'm direct but I think I need to learn to hold what I think. I see this is becoming a repetitive pattern. I actually need to work on it.
I want to find happiness and peace over the next year. I've lost sight of who I am and what I love and I owe it to myself to focus on myself. I've given my energy too selflessly to my career and I need to remember what is important in life.
I would like to be more of a yes-person, and I think the reason I'm not is because I shield myself, I'm not vulnerable. Many people see me as strong, independent and opinionated, which are all true, BUT, there is a softer side too. And I feel like my default answer to so many questions is no, and even if I consider something I'm skeptical. So I'm not talking about "a year of yes" because it's more than that. I want to challenge myself to be more vulnerable, after all, yes requires me to put myself out there, to take chances and (sensible) risks.
I hope to eat healthy food, instead of this heavy, animal-laden Wisconsin food I have been gorging myself on since we moved here. I miss having friends who were vegetarians or vegans. If I were more disciplined, I would give up meat, if only for six days a week.
I hope I can let go more. I was determined to not feed into the negative dialogue surrounded pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood - the pain, the fatigue, the challenges. I was determined to be an example of how one can do it all and keep it all together. But the reality is - I am struggling in a way I didn't expect. I am behind in school work and Isabella still doesn't sleep through the night. I am so exhausted and some days I feel so overwhelmed, I wonder how I'll get anything done. But several mothers in my life have said that this shift also involves letting go. I hope to work on this moving forward.
Get in better shape- more walking. more regular yoga- ie new postures, more regular classes.
My therapist says I focus too much on self-improvement, and I know this is her guidance from the past year - to NOT do things in the name of self-improvement or looking at outside sources such as self-help books geared toward self-improvement. So that's my answer. I would like to improve myself by not using outside self-improvement programs and self-judgment. Rather, I would like to accept myself as I am each day. I would like to meditate daily, so I can know myself. I would like to know myself intimately.
I want to get back to that feeling of "I am good enough", "I am as good as anyone around me", and "I belong anywhere I go". I want to get back to that sense of purpose, power, and control that I had in college. As for advice or counsel: "Everything you need is already inside you"
I'd like to develop more patience, empathy and confidence. I think I've proved to myself I can handle the hard times... now it's about learning how to support others. As for advice, Brian Blessed says it best: "GO FOR IT!! DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN!"
I would like to be more open to my friends and less negative about the world/national situation. I would like to be able to put myself out to more active in shul and take advantage of community activities. I guess the best counsel I have received is to just keep plugging along and do not let the Parkinson's hinder my activities as best I can. I do not feel depressed but I do feel frustrated a lot of the time.
I'd like to open the Torah door--the door to the arc--again.
Work-life balance. I hope when my boss Mad Mens our new company, which will be announced at the end of the month and implemented by the end of the year, that we are able to make things not so crazy and stressful, that it makes work fun again. I love what I do, developing story ideas, brainstorming recipes, fixing grammar, writing punny headlines, making clients happy, but I hate workload management, I hate not being able to spend time on the parts I like because I'm too bogged down in the shit I hate. My husband says I work hard and play hard, which is true, and probably why I'm exhausted all the time. I really need to be working right now, on a Saturday, and that's what I'm going to do after I answer the next three questions.
I would like to get a fuller grasp of my true competencies, worth and value, and take risks putting myself out there. I would like to raise myself out of feeling low, bring myself to a lighter mood, take things more lightly, find more fun and levity
Pay yourself first comes to mind. D. Campbell gave me this advise when I was still in my late 20's early 30's. Older than me and also attracted to my intellect, I wish I had listened to him sooner. I want to be happier!
In the coming year I hope to become more settled in my career, my relationship, and my plans for the future. I want to be more patient and less judgmental. I hope by being both of those things I will have a few friends. I think my plan for all of this is embracing "be still."
I would like to improve on telling my story and the story of others.
I think I'm on a good path, and I want to continue down it. I want to increase my discernment in whom I trust and share with. But I want to remain open and loving. I want to make a positive difference in the lives of those close to me.
I would still like to work on the panic attacks I get occasionally. I have gotten a lot better over the past year, but it sometimes still happens and the experience is unpleasant to say the least.
"Relax into yourself." All my spiritual path and intellectual undertakings have come down to this. This is it. Life is now. Either enjoy it or don't. But this is it.
Accept love despite our failures and mistakes
My creativity coach (life coach) told me to follow my heart and soul, and any thoughts about doing those things and them getting in the way of finding a partner and having a child are all bullshit. Also K told me that by just continuing to show up it does a lot to end racism. So I would like to continue being able to show up.
This was my advice in 2012, and I think I still need to hear it: "Pretend that your best friend is doing what you're doing right now. What would your advice to her be?" It's easy for me to be compassionate toward other people. It's harder for me to turn that compassion inward, to myself. What if I'm not enough? What if I can't do enough? What if I can't figure it out? I'd specify what "it" is, but it doesn't really matter. This is what I'm like in all areas of my life: an anxious mess. If I were my own best friend, I would tell myself to stop with the doing and start with the being. And then, when I inevitably committed to researching the question of "being" in order to be the best be-er ever, I'd tell myself to take the dog for a walk and forget the whole thing, just watch for something beautiful.
I think the biggest thing is positivity. Life isn't perfect. There will be lots of ups and downs, that's a given. But it's all about how you approach every situation. I have been and want to continue to be positive and understand the rationale behind various circumstances. How can I learn from this? Posivitiy and good vibes are key.
I WOULD LIKE TO WRITE EVERY SINGLE DAY AND THEN TAKE A TRIP FOR WHEELCHAIR USERS TO PARIS, ITALY, SPAIN, A EURO CRUISE, OR JUST AN ALASKAN 50 YEAR ANNIVERSARY CRUISE.
I would like to be more free-spirited. I would like to dedicate more time to just having fun with friends, but also doing the things I enjoy. So, besides spending time with my friends and the people who are most important to me, but also making time to ride my horse every weekend, swimming every week all summer long, practicing my instrument, whether that remains violin or changes to piano (with me, who knows), and also crocheting because it relaxes me. Also, on the self-improvement front and the thing that will allow me to meet the above goals, is to stop procrastinating! There's no reason for it, I just haven't learned any better yet. Lastly, I expect that by next year I will be a punctual person. ...Just because I should be and I want to be reliable. No one can rely on you if you're always late.
I would like to take better care of myself. * exercise more * eat healthier food, and be more mindful when I'm eating * clear the clutter out of home and life * mental clutter * on-line clutter * and stuff The advice was to ask myself: * Do I love it? * Do I need it? * Will I use it? And I found an old clipping that quoted a professional organizer, Sharon Lowenheim: "...ask this 'What these items are doing to contribute to the life you’re living now and the life you plan to be living from this point forward.'"
I want to focus on my self-confidence, and how I talk to myself... I've spent a lot of the last year learning the tools in therapy, but now I want to bring that more into my focus and apply them to everyday living. I also want to introduce a daily meditation practice, as I have seen friends change their lives completely through meditation. Not that I'm expecting an utter overhaul - I am just interested to see how it could change my thought processes.
I want to find more time for reading and learning my evolving employment to its best degree. Yes, let the drops roll off your back, shake yourself dry and keep moving forward.
I want to be more constructively honest. I have a tendency to be overcautious with what I say, and as a result I end up not resolving things sometimes. I want to be able to get over the fear of addressing an issue, combined with the ability to not steamroll over someone in order to bring it up.
I would like to improve myself and my life next year by realigning my priorities to fit what I truly care about. Instead of priorities one, two, and three all being "work," I would like them to read "music/art soul enrichment," "social justice work," and "personal growth and learning." You don't have to know everything, you just have to know the next step. You don't need to know where you're going, you just need to know your compass and where you are now.
Next year, I would like to improve myself by clearing all levels of clutter. In addition to physical clutter, I want to clear the energetic and emotional clutter that distracts and weighs me down. I want to feel and be my lightness so I have a place to be and do my arts so that I feel alive and participatory. I want to be able to move freely in my body, my home, my life, and on this planet.
I'd like to be in better health next year, definitely better mental health. I HAVE to get a grip on this anxiety. Be kind to yourself is the best advice I've heard, but very hard to accept. I'm my own worst critic.
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get. So, enjoy the ride! There is some advice I got from my therapist when I was feeling guilty about not pursuing a job using my degree when I have another job I love. He said, "Why would you get a job if you don't have to?"
Spend less. Buy only what I need. Don't need to impress anyone.
I'd really just like to keep growing in the category of being myself! This is a constant growth process for me and I'd love to keep embracing it more and more. This advice sticks out to me for some reason. It is the first thing that just came to my mind when i read the second question. This was actually not this past year directly, but close enough (tehe), I remember when I was living at Omega, and I would run into this woman Julia, who was beautiful, grounded, vibrant, had really lived life and I always felt she had a calming energy. I don't remember what sparked this, but i remember one day she said to me, just look in the mirror, look into your own eyes. I think this was sometime around the time of me dealing with several things, and likely having some heaviness and saddness, and it was a beautiufl and simple thing to do. I don't do it often, but i think it is a way to reconnect to me. Every time i take a moment to recognize me, to stop/pause and feel me, it is a really powerful thing. So, that being said, learning how to unpeel the layers, and be more and more me. and accept more and more me.
See #6. I need to clear out the clutter, internal and external, especially the clutter of what I put into my body through food, TV, worry, guilt, impatience, irritation. My favorite guided visualization ends with the words "And everything is allll-right." Reminds me of the song from my favorite Bollywood movies - Three Idiots. The song, which I use as a ringtone when my mother calls, is "All Izzz Well."
I would like to get better at balancing work and play. I would like to stop worrying so much about work. Useful advice: "It's all fine. You're doing well. People are appreciating what you do. You are good at what you do. You don't have to move forward, you can stay still for a while."
I would like to build back up my reserve of patience. I feel that nine years of full-time teaching in public schools has really depleted my capacity to wait, to listen, and to give. It will be extra challenging this year as I contemplate a major career change; several times already I've caught myself making less than my best effort on something because it may be the last time I have to do/teach it.
I want to be physically stronger. I want to advocate for myself more often and with more strength. I want to learn to work on conflict rather than running away.
To keep loving myself and my body for who I am now and not who I used to be.
I would like to improve myself by not being as nervous and making lots and lots of new friends.
In the coming year I want to develop healthier routines. Some big things, some small. Small things, like making my bed daily. Sarah taught me what a pleasant chore that is. Big things like regular exercise at the JCC and on my bike. Medium things like planning a therapeutic or social or recreational activity for every day of the week, or close to it. Finding some calm through regularity, routine and self-care, rather than through burying my head. I'd like to get away from feeling like I am only taking care of myself when I am jettisoning ballast. Caring for myself isn't a matter of disappearing and self-soothing through sleep and intoxicants. It is a life-long project that requires work -- work that more often than not is quite enjoyable.
My brother told me two things I treasure. Stay on the high road and living well is the best revenge. I believe both and strive to keep both up. I try to be very friendly to everyone.
Take care of yourself. Ultimately, it's up to you to make sure you get what you need. Of course there are others who take care of you too, but sometimes they don't know what you need. If you know you'll be taken care of, you can more easily and successfully take care of others.
i want to be more responsible, sarah has really helped me grow in that sense and i want to continue growing as such.
I'd like to become a much more positive, happy person in the coming year. This is something I've been working on over the past months, and I continue to work on, as I occasionally battle bouts of mild depression. Part of what got me started was, my good friend (and also ex boyfriend) told me that I was so negative all the time and he found it exhausting. It was a surprise to me, because I usually don't even notice myself saying negative things. I guess because of my tendencies toward anxiety and depression, it seems normal to me to complain and speak badly of people and events. But, according to my friend and what I read online, negativity really puts people off and turns them away. I want to be someone that people enjoy being around, not someone who puts a damper on things. Not to mention negativity fuels depression. So I've been listening to talks and reading articles about how to be happy, and some of these techniques have really helped so far. One of the big ones, is if I find myself thinking negatively, I stop and try to come up with at least three things that I am grateful for, and I try to come up with different ones each time. That has really helped me to turn negative thoughts into positive ones and to count my blessings rather than feel like a victim all the time. So I will continue to work on this, and hopefully next year, I'll be a much happier, more pleasant person to be around.
I would like to have fulfilled my initial goals that I'm currently working on (pottery) and then start manifesting my other ideas. (Likely one by one, starting the next as the previous becomes successful enough to afford me the ability to split my focus or focus on the next one.) Through this, through believing in myself and working toward my creativity (which is not as selfish as I had secretly believed it to be) I really hope to become financially independent and stable. I'm hoping I can already be at that point by this time next year, and still striving to do better (by leaps and bounds) by this time the following year. The main advice I can give myself, along with some of what I wrote in other responses, is to trust my path and to actually walk it. And to incorporate the things I learn on the way -- this is a creative path and one that's meant to explore humanity and culture, to ask questions, fill in gaps and find solutions -- life's experiences and questions are meant to be part of this and not taken for granted or used as excuses. While walking this path, it's ok to get sidetracked by other things I need to do, but it's not ok to get distracted, especially by devices, the internet and laziness. (Being distracted by social engagements and friends and family is probably a good thing though!) And short breaks are ok, but I need to WALK this path, not sit in the middle of the road either catatonic or wondering which way to go, especially when there's no fork and no way to go but forward. If I walk, most roads will likely get me to the same place, because if I'm true to my path, I will find clues to map the way. But if I don't walk, I have given up on everything I need to do to live the life I deserve, and I will leave this world with nothing but the deepest regret.
I'd like to have figured out a way to take on less responsibility, so that I can do some things really well. I'm getting a lot better at that, but I'm still struggling with feeling oversaturated to the point of forgetting things and not doing things I should be / say I'll do. Some of my colleagues, L & M specifically, continue to urge me not to take too much on, and to say no. I talk to them about what I want to do at work, what things I want to add into what I'm doing, how I want to change things, and they always urge me to think about what I'm already doing and see if there's actually space, in me, to add that new thing.
I got a great piece of advice from the writer Alan Heathcock -- "If we don't put our stories into the world, we are at the mercy of everyone else's stories." This advice then prompted some of my own to myself: Start. Start anywhere. Start without judgment or preconception. Start without knowing where you will travel and where you will end up. Let the words spill onto the page. Just get them down. You can polish them later. Sounds like good advice not just for writing, but for living. Let your heart guide you to do what you need to do. And then just do it. Get out of your head. The most important thing is to start and then continue. The rest will take care of itself. So how do I want to improve myself? Simple. Just start all the things I've been saying I will start for years and haven't. Then do them every day if possible. But if not, often enough that they become habits and ultimately passions to inform and define your life.
I want to improve my life next year by really taking better care of myself. I've come to realize that learning to say no is a loooong process so I am not expecting to have my life magically changed over the next year. I am however expecting that I have taken at least a few steps forward.
I would like to be a stronger person. Stand up for myself more, and not take everything so personally, to the point where it ruins my day. I would also like to truly love myself, in every aspect.
Mostly I'd like to keep doing what I'm doing. I've finally gotten to a good place with regards to women -- I'm dating a lot and am very satisfied with the quality of those relationships. I'm doing well in school and am motivated to do better. If there's one area I would like to change, it's the fear I bring into my academic and social activities. Academically, I'm afraid I won't be strong enough to do the things I want to do, and that I'll always be second-rate. Socially, I'm afraid I'll be seen as dull and uninteresting. These fears cause me to be sometimes terse, aggressive, and distant in my interactions with others; an intention which causes me sadness and pain. I withdraw from others, rather than embracing them. I try hard to act always from a place of joy, and not from a place of fear. Yet often still I find myself afraid -- of relationships ending, of efforts failing. I try to accept that I have limited control of the future, and that I should do the best with what I can control. I would like to find a way to do better and to feel less fear.
Continue to become more active and healthy. Do more art and contribute more of my time and /or abilities to "the Hall." And stop thinking so much. The advice, this is the time to do what brings you joy and peace. Don't take on more responsibilities, i.e. Dogs and children. Allow yourself to be free.
I'd like to release more of my weight as it impedes my ability to work, perform my research and be myself. My weight is really all of the pain I've carried in my life. Continuing to carry it with me only makes my life harder and distances me from my true self.
I would like to continue my meditation and yoga practice with an INTENTION of subtle activism. I want to remain open to the possibilities of organizing more group meditations, connecting with the global community, and being open to whatever comes into my realm that I can use for activism on a political and/or social level. I am still interested in reconciliation, and may look more into this as something to add into my work. What always guides me is the connection with others and to keep my ears and eyes open to where the needs are and how my work and skillset can help.
Forgive yourself. I would like to be a little less hard on myself. But aren't we all? I want to work on forgiving myself more for the little things and the big things. Everything is forgiven.
I want to improve myself in the next year by exercising more, removing more refined sugars and foods from my diet, and meditating more. The piece of advice that I received in this past year would be to move when told. Even if that means packing up and moving across the country to another state or even another country.
I would like to be more confident in myself and believe that I am making a difference in the lives of others. I think the piece of advice that could most guide me in this is to not take anything that other people do personally.
I heard a good quote the other day that went something like "The grass is greener where you water it". In other words, instead of comparing my life to other people's lives, I'd like to focus on nurturing the parts of my life that I want to nurture and that I want to see thrive and grow.
The counsel I received over and over again that I would love to simply be part of my everyday life is this: People tell you who they are. Believe them. And, I tell myself who I am and what I actually want by my actions or lack thereof. Believe myself and if it still isn't what I want or who I want to be then with great powerful loving action: change it.
Wellness and physical fitness! My coach's voice rings in my ear "you've got this"
See question 6. I would like to conquer my relationship with food. The end of binge eating. Secret eating. Stealing food. To know that it is ok to eat 3 meals a day. 3 meals a day is a healthy and normal way to eat. It doesn't mean that you are greedy or lacking self control. It doesn't mean you will get fat. It means you are hungry because you are busy and active because you have a healthy body that gets up early to go to work and cycle everywhere and do yoga and it means you are listening to the needs of your precious body when it is telling you that it needs more fuel. You do not need to eat something sweet after every meal. And you do not need the feeling of full to the point of sick before you go to bed. No. The food you put in your body is fuel, delicious energising fuel. You do not ever again need to make yourself sick because you ate so much. Being sick is what poorly people do when their bodies cannot handle the fuel. Your body can handle it. It just needs the right amount. You don't need to be greedy and take seconds and thirds and fourths if you do not need more fuelling. You can can be grateful that you ate something delicious and thankful that you will have many opportunities for the rest of your life to do so. You do not need to throw up and flush away the food that you and the people in your life lovingly spent time making. You do not need to eat in secret because there is not shame in eating. And you do not need to steal other people's food because you are not deprived. You do not need to feel deprived or to do things to deprive yourself. You are not deprived. You can spend money on good food that makes your body and mind happy. You do not have to choose the cheapest thing on the menu because it is the cheapest. You can choose the thing you want to eat most because your precious body deserves to be given the things it wants sometimes. You do not need to eat everything in the fridge when you go home to your parents because it is free, and then spend the rest of the time you are there hating yourself and them. No. That is not how you foster happy relationships with your parents and yourself, and it is not how you learn how to be happy and at peace with yourself when you are in their domain. You want to be a happier and more settled version of yourself when you are in their space, so do not do things to jeopardise that. And sugar is not the enemy. There are no enemies. There are just some friends that you keep closer, and some friends that you keep further. Sugar is the friend who you don't need to rely on, because they are unreliable and inconsistent. You have so many kind kind wonderful friends who will be there for you no matter what, to support you, celebrate with you in happiness and prop you up in times of need. Sugar is not that friend for you. Sugar is fun to say hi how are you at a party every few weeks. Sugar does not need to be your back bone and your crutch. No. Know when it is useful to keep sugar close by, and know when it sugar needs to go to a different party entirely.
By actually working towards my goal of not being stuck in an office for the rest of my life, instead of just talking about it and making excuses. Yes, I still have debts and need to have a fixed income of some sort at the moment, but just a tiny thing to work towards it would be great - some paid acting work, finishing the life coaching course, for example. The basis I'm working on is you only get one chance at this and I'd rather regret the things I've done than the things I haven't done.
Financially bullet proof. Use MMI money management system.
I will strive to be more disciplined in every aspect of my life. I will strive to be more caring of others and less selfish. The advice I got in the past year and for many before that, which I hope to finally learn, is to live in the moment.
"I wanted to give you the world, but instead I gave you the key to it all" Also, I just felt as if I had a holy moment. Is that what I'd call it? a moment where the king, our creator "I am with you always" says the prayer that closed YK services tonight. I love that prayer. "Body and soul in my keep" Right as I landed on this question, stuck as to what I want to improve, leaning toward the always "more yoga, work out, not be so hard on myself," Allison texted me saying she wants to do events with the Kaballah Cnter. It felt like that finger touch my dad talks about. The angel saving his life (maybe this will save my life too) and tapping him into the right direction. I'd like to improve myself and my life next year with more involvement on my religion. Simply, say shema every night. Indulge in the torah and Judaism. Put myself in the place where I'm exposed to the depth of Judaism. By doing that, the questions will flow, the meaning will flow, the awe will flow. I heard a line recited from Talmud tonight at services. I thought to myself how smart the Talmud is. How much wisdom is offered in one line.
Find more things that are fun and give you pleasure. Don't be such a drudge about your life. Also, accept that you need lots of structure or you fall into bad habits. When you find something that works, put energy into implementing it rather than keeping up the search for something better.
Improve myself by lowering my cholesterol. Continue to do the work I enjoy, drop the crap stuff. Take care of yourself. First things first.
"the trade off of being an adult is not being able to do what you want to do so you can do what you want to do." —xander
I would like to slow down.I must slow down and stop trying to rush through life at breakneck speed but never getting anything done. I would like to be taking more deliberate care of myself and of Naftali. I don't know if there is any piece of advice that seems to embody this more than every reminder to stay present, to take care. Be here now. Be present. Take the next best step. Make the next best choice. Slow and steady wins the race.
I would like to better my myself in the upcoming year through taking time out of each day to step back from my demanding schedule and experience a new situation each day. This situation can come in the form of a conversation, meditation, or even exercise. This change in my daily escapades will assist me to broaden my horizons on any and all topics, allowing me to see the world through many different lenses. Another aspect about my life that I would like to improve by next year is to pique my appreciation for nature. Too few times am I out enjoying the earths natural beauty, seeing its blend of colors that indicate the seasons, and to change this I aspire to go out on nature walks at least once a week by this time next year. With respect to my first desire that will improve my life, the piece of advice that could greatly help me would be this simple phrase: "break the cycle." Instead of adhering to society's schedule-based day (alarm goes off, you commute, you work, you commute back, you eat, you go to bed), I must the urge to be a cog within this system and instead add in many unique activities sparred out throughout the day that will bring new flavor to this cycle. Not only will these new activities relieve the stress of a deadline obsessed world, these activities will shift my brain out of the robotic mode of task after task, thus creating a fresh slate when I do return back to this mode and complete my work. In terms of seeing the true beauty of nature, a piece of advice that I received by my uncle this past March was to not search for things in nature, but instead let nature imprint itself onto you and your connection with it will play out by itself. This is a very powerful message because although it is our human nature to keep creating, keep breaking barriers, keep searching for the next best thing to do, we should be mindful once in a while that life is not in fact all about competition, but instead about absolute satisfaction.
I want to become the leader that the world needs. I have all the skills needed, I just need to learn how to use them. Currently, I am getting guidance from a certain someone on how to become the leader I want to be
I would like to meditate more, do more yoga/exercise generally, get more into spiritual healing of all kinds, and generally just be more forgiving when people hurt me. Not that I'm not already forgiving, but I need to just let it go pretty much no matter what. I can't keep holding on to how people have hurt me, even if I know they're in the wrong. It's only hurting me.
Be kind on instinct. Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. That's who you really are, let go of any part of you that doesn't believe that.
Grandma said this quote from the old testament when we were down in Florida that she described as being very dear to her and how she sees life: "Do Justice, love mercy, and walk humbly in the ways of god". It was so surprising to hear this type of reflection from her and it really taught me something about her, but also is good inspiration for starting the new year. I was very moved by a group of parents in Nicaragua whose children have severe developmental disabilities. I volunteered one day with them and the parents were so incredibly positive about every little achievement their children made (things that were unnoticeable to me). It was hard for me not feel overwhelmed by sadness for these kids who were non-verbal, in wheelchairs and needed full-time support, but it seemed to me like the parents looked at them as any parent would look at their child on a good day--with pride, love, compassion, and a deep understanding of who they are and what they are going through. I hope to keep this memory with me as a parenting inspiration. Just this week I had a conversation with Joe Surmell. He was recounting a story of doing a gig with a young female black musician who called Joe her brother, but not the other musician (who was a white man from Italy). Joe challenged her around how she could say that one man is and one is not her brother, and that we need to be working towards a world where we all see each other as brothers and sisters or we will continue to perpetuate otherness and discrimination of those who we do not identify with.
Lose 20lbs. Start small, set goals, get into a routine. Just fucking so it already!!!
I pretty constantly receive the advice to "not be so hard on myself". I would like to be able to be more kind to myself and more understanding when I feel I've disappointed myself.
You can do whatever you want to. If there has anything I've learned about myself from turning 16 just a few days ago, it's that I will never be able to just choose one thing in life, one love, one burning passion. My future is bright and filled with opportunity. Don't turn down any options, don't be afraid of danger - take chances, do big things, little things, with lots of love. Believe kn everything you do.
I already did the largest step = moving out of a joint home after more than 20 years living together. My job needs to be established and I must get into the new work rhythm. My work must be aligned with my business projects. And I want to manage to meet my girlfriend every 2 months or so. I want peace and harmony, i.e. my separation/divorce process must become smoother and more pragmatic. Last but not least, my relationship to my daughter must normalize again.
Lower expectations and be grateful for everything that happens in your life. You are so privileged to have such an incredible strength and sense of self, as well as a loving, giving and supportive family. Whatever happens in the next year is exactly what is meant to happen and as long as you stay grateful and committed to personal growth you will get very far.
Be positive Be realistic You don't have to be perfect Stop judging
Put on my own oxygen mask before assisting others. "Oxygen" includes: nourishment rest exercise pleasure
I'd like to use my creative energy to generate products that are both fulfilling and financially profitable. These products might be stories, novels, songs or whatnot. I want to have work that reflects my individual beliefs and intentions. I have been inspired by attending the Launch Festival in SF, which put me in touch with many first time entrepreneurs to learn what it takes to be successful. I plan to test some ideas for online businesses.
I'd like to be healthier. I was diagnosed with asthma which I know was a result of smoking. I'd like to be more disciplined in my scheduling so I can get done what needs to be done.
To be focused. Focus allows me success in so many areas I crave - getting strong (working out), eating healthy and feeling good, getting things done at work, being with people.
Unfortunately, I have spent most of the past year around people but isolated from them as well with only superficial engagement. However, living in the hotel in Aktau I met a man who used the gym and he was of the opinion that we should all have 3 focus' at a time. So for my next year, my focus is on returning to a challenging paid position in a senior role, training for the Paris marathon in April, and rebuilding my professional network.
Like last year I would like to get better in not procrastinating, and to not shy away from new things, just because I'm nervous at first. Better planing could help me with that.
I would like to improve my overall outlook on life, focusing on my blessings rather than focusing/complaining about things that I do not have. Negative and comparative thinking is damaging and I feel that it has set me back on pursuing certain things. Essentially, I would like to improve myself mentally and physically -- by keeping to commitments, pursuing extra curricular interests such as continuation with pilates and more photography and volunteering, healthier eating, nurturing relationships with friends that I have been neglecting, and keeping in touch with family more.
15 lbs. Stronger. More specific with time allotted to writing so I can spend more predictable time with my family.
You know the symptoms of depression. Don't let it get to you again. You can handle anything, you already have. lol Trust yourself.
I think the poor answer to the question about my contact with spirituality suggests that true spirituality must be engaged with vigor and intent. Meditation is not spirituality in itself. But what is for you? A rich spiritual experience is crowning achievement of a life well lived, time to work on this one!
I want the Lord to remove my gross selfishness. The messiah has set the standard of what that looks like.
I am still in the process of healing from years of emotional and mental abuse, so setting and enforcing boundaries is very important now. Also, letting go of things that I can no longer change or help is another area where I can improve. I would like to make new or rekindle old friendships, especially with other women. One sad ripple effect of my divorce is losing mutual friends. I did receive a bit of counsel that I would lose friends in the divorce, and that it would surprise me which ones I'd lose. That has definitely proven to be the case. I truly was taken aback and saddened by who has decided to end our friendships, but I know I can't dwell on that, and as I move forward, I have to remind myself that is says more about them than it does about me.
Same answer as 6. Reflect on how I react to the situation so intensely and learn to let go.
Be still and know is advice I gave to an actor. I need to give it to myself.
I want to start putting myself first. I have always been the person who puts her friends/family first. While that is a good trait, it is also exhausting. I don't tell people that I feel like I might have some mental health issues, that I think of death, because I don't want anyone to worry about me. However, I take in what happens to my friends and let it affect me adversely. It's unhealthy and I need to learn that I am worth it and I am worth being worried about too.
Start with something small and just start it. Let yourself fail. Let yourself suck. It will come. Just start.
dad told me that its standard practice to have a gut feeling and then try to justify/rationalize it. something gets lost in translation between the feeling and the articulation. i want to honor my gut feelings/instincts more. doing yoga and eating mindfully and getting physically back into my body have been helpful tools for me in the past. time to get back into the habit of doing both!
I hope to be healthy and in good shape next year. I'll be working in a job I enjoy (hopefully) which will make my life so much better. I think the only advice is give myself, as not many people give me advice, is to be selfish and do what's best for me. Doing my mastsers is already paying off so being selfish and achieving my goals is my first priority.
I am always looking to improve myself. I keep answering here that I want to lose weight. Now, I am interested in transforming myself from the inside. I have been reading about how we all need to love ourselves, and how we need to relax and go slower, and to just do all the things that make us happy and feel good! I want to meditate more, pray more, give more, take more long walks, eat mindfully and slowly, read something new every day. I want to make huge leaps into self improvement in the coming year. I want to radiate and shine and create.
Truthfully, I'm pretty happy with my life. The biggest thing I'd like to improve is my financial situation. I'd also like to move more into writing than teaching and to feel fulfilled in what I do.
"Great people do things before they're ready." I may not be ready. But I want to do things.
Yes. Check in with how you're feeling about things. Don't ignore those feelings. Listen to them. Be kinder to yourself. Keep working on changing yourself and don't expect or try to change others. It's frustrating and it doesn't work - it's not for you to do that. Listen more. Be a better listening participant. It doesn't always need to be you who says something. But don't misunderstand that to mean make yourself smaller. Never make yourself smaller. Don't shrink yourself to make someone else feel big. You are whole just as you are. You're whole but not yet finished.
I would love to improve myself to the point where I feel less alone and less scared about being alone, I'd like to become more friendly and social and find a group of people that are positive and moving forward to allow me to join them in their upward mobility way of life.
I would like to do mindfulness meditation and yoga every day. I would like to be in touch with how important I am to the people around me.
I want to take better care of my health. I forget to exercise because I get too busy. I need to slow down and take more "me" time. I am a full time teacher, which means I also work nights and weekends. If I am not conscious of my time, I can not do a good job taking care of my health.
Be fearless, while trusting that God's timeline is better than any you can imagine. Life is short. Live ot
You gotta know when to hold 'em Know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away Know when to run
I would like to be more present in my life and more thoughtful. I would like to slow down and pay attention to the things most important to me: my husband and family, my friends (who are like family), and my own creativity and curiosity. I want to cultivate these aspects of my life, to help them grow and blossom.
In the middle of the worst time of my life a single thought came to me after reading an article about the ways that women, even women as powerful as Hilary Clinton, are bullied and subtly treated like they are less. That thought was "Fight back." So simple. And I realized that is what I had stopped doing. Religion had once given me a reason to be a fighter. I had a cause. When religion went away, and motherhood came in, my cause became my kids. But something clicked inside me this year after reading time and time again how unfairly women are treated. After seeing how mental illness, especially depression, is misunderstood and not legitimized by insurance companies and people alike. FIGHT BACK. I could fight back. I don't have to be a victim and fighting doesn't have to be another damaging thing in my life. It can be empowering and healthy. So, that's what I want to do. That's how i want to live my life next year.
I would like to spend some time this year encouraging my creative side to come out. I want to cultivate that part of me that I don't give enough priority right now. I have the drive to create, sing, play music, and write but I hold myself back. I want to set it free without worrying so much about my skill level or how I am perceived. I want it to be fun.
Continue to challenge yourself - never get too comfortable. Let yourself love.
look in the mirror every morning. "You are enough. Child of the stars, walk your medicine road with pride. you were forged in the fires of hell, steel strong, bright and deadly."
HAVE MORE DOWN TIME. Don't drive myself crazy by taking on too much. Problem is my job fills up all my energy and then if there is anything else, I'm past the line of a healthy balance between activity and rest. I also continue to wish I could find a daily meditative practice and really do it every day. I end up only doing things like that once I'm so far gone that I'm desperate to calm down...I found this sequence of poses that are amazing when I can't sleep, but if I did them every day I'm afraid I'd get absurdly bored of them to the point of them feeling like a frustrating chore. I'd also like to continue to find ways to communicate better with Chris. There are times when I'm so amazed and in love with how far we've come with our communications and other times I just want to throw a drink in his face. I think given the extra stress of being in 2 states and renovating a house -- we've been doing pretty damn well! I think we've improved our communication overall even through these challenges (or maybe being apart more made it easier?!) Still - I want to keep finding better ways to communicate with him - including finding ways to control my own anger or annoyance at times so that I'm not escalating something minor.
I would like to try and be more honest about how I'm feeling. My mom pretended she was okay and died without anyone suspecting anything. I don't want that to happen to me.
I have come to understand that one important goal I have is to accept my body for what it is. Every year I seem to have goals to be more healthy which are good goals. But behind those goals is always a desire to loose weight. I wanted to loose weight because I worry that I am unattractive and that I am unhelathy. But the truth is our culture values the way people look, something they have little control over, in a way that is hurtful and wrong. The truth is that, while there is always room for improvement, I AM healthy but I am still "overweight." I have PCOS which means that that my body does not react correctly to insulin and it is incredibly hard to loose weight. It may never happen. It is not my fault. I would like to learn to feel okay with that and to continue to live a healthy lifestyle, for the sake of being healthy, and learn to look for other indicators of health and worth rather than the numbers on the scale.
The Good Place has made me re-evaluate myself in my smaller moments. I think about how I respond to other people, particularly my mother, and I think about how my actions would add up on a great cosmic calculator. Would they be considered good or bad? I'm trying to be more good.
I would like to dare to sell my artwork bravely and boldly, and to have the courage to keep on making Stuff! I would love to organize more workshops as last weekend and next weekend with global teachers, including one in February. I will enjoy teaching ply split basketry to new folks in sacred space in mid-February. I would like to take my successful feelings and improving health and get to better, deeper work.
I'd like to keep learning. I hope I finish the 15 books I set for myself in 2016. I hope I read more about and become more invested and interested in architecture. I hope I improve in my other artistic inclinations.
I want to be healthy. I say this all the time but I need to actually do it. I feel better when I eat my greens and grilled chicken. My skin is clear when I drink tons of water. My clothes fit better and shopping is actually fun (I'm better sure i would have looked great in a bikini). But mozzarella sticks and pizza are so good too even though they slow me down. Then ice cream is so sweet but not nice to my abs. If anything I need to get healthy so I can run with my chipmunk and eat like him when he is cutting weight. I want to want to end my family's history of illnesses. Also find the right path in life for me. I understand that even if I found a job I loved that it will still feel like work but at last I'll be happy working my butt off. Also I would like to find a better way to control my depression and ADHD naturally without meds so i'm not dependent on meds and definitely save money.
I would like to get my anxiety under control; I think practicing mindfulness might help with this.
I would like to dissolve into the community around me. Become comfortable in my own skin, aware of my relation to others, and unconcerned with my own self importance. The advice I choose to meditate on as I make this change is one which was likely meant very differently. "Let me tell you: if you go out to find yourself, you're going to lose yourself" my mother told me this year. I will, and I will.
What I would like to improve is my social life. I have few friends, and I feel like I would like to expand my social circle and find like-minded individuals. I have been too dependant on one friend in particular and I want to break free and be my own person. The advice I have received: step outside my comfort zone, be open, join a couple of meet up groups. Looking forward to stretching myself and going out and doing things I enjoy, and hopefully make some new friends along the way.
I want to take care of my body and my relationships with others better than I ever have before. Best advice I've gotten has been from my acupuncturist: Center, Ground, Neutral.
Really dealing with the back issues - with physical therapy and a lot more exercise. REMEMBER: make wrong and blaming just make me miserable.
I promised myself that I'd take better care of me earlier this year. I haven't done that yet. I've done the opposite so far. Stop giving up. That's my advice.
I think I just want to take better care of myself - eat well, exercise, just not let myself go as much as I sometimes do. I think I also want to make sure I get greater fulfillment in my work in whatever way that manifests itself. I hope to be moving onto something different, though I'm not sure what that is. These are important to me because self care and self happiness are key to everything else. If I make sure I'm good with myself and my work, hopefully other good things will fall into place.
I've improved myself a tremendous amount this year between going to counseling and working on myself outside of counseling as well. I want to keep working on what I have been working on because it seems to be improving my well being. So my advice to my future self is to just be yourself and don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks about you. You do you. Do what is going to make you happy without caring about other people's judgments.
I would really like to improve my self esteem and prevent myself from entering a downward spiral. I have begun to recognize that I have a lot of anxiety and I tend to let it get the best of me. I also adopt a victim's mentality and assume the worst in every situation. Part of this comes from being an engineer and a scientist, but it also comes from a lot of self-created negativity. In general, the advice I received over the past year is to pursue therapy, both individually and with my partner. This has helped a little, but it is up to me to make the most of it and turn things around.
I hope i've figured out what Magdi meant and how to apply it to my life.
I want yo learn you slow down and listen deeply sincerely and with heart felt compassion .
I would like to improve in a couple of areas; business knowledge, health and writing. I always set pretty ambitious goals and don’t always come close to meeting them. I think the best advice I’d give myself is something the Will Rogers said “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”, forward movement is the most import thing to strive for.
As usual I'd like to appreciate nature more, get more exercise and start working on my autobiography. Well, I guess I've done a little bit of these. I basically gave up watching tv during the summer and sat outside more often than usual. I also worked on digitizing three years of my audio diaries which took me many hours. Exercise... not so much. But, I have cut back on the amount of alcohol I consume each day. I realized I wasn't feeling very good the next day. And I think i was having a reaction to hops. Since I switched to lagers and light beers i don't have the kinds of panic attacks during the night that I had been getting. Plus, I'm limiting myself to one cocktail a day, and cutting back on straight shots, by diluting them with ice and only having one or two instead of a cocktail. Overall, I feel better. As long as I feel good and have no serious health issues, I think I'm doing pretty good.
Breathe. Ask questions. Be kinder to myself and more compassionate and selfless in my interactions with others. Seek and acknowledge the expertise and knowledge of others, even when it overlaps with or competes with your own. In 2014, I gave myself pretty good advice: "I want to remember to breathe before I react, to ask questions instead of telling personal anecdotes (nobody cares). I want to be more aware of my interactions with people. I want to be kinder to myself." I want to continue my work towards these goals while also recognizing the inherent conflict in the two statements there, where I belittle myself 2 sentences before imploring myself to be kind.
I would like to be courageous in my work and share my training with confidence and ease. Wisdom that guides me:Live courageously now. I don't want to look back on my life 10 years from now and wish I had lived courageously, or hear myself saying, "if only..."
I would like to continue along the track I'm already on. I'd always like to learn more. It would be hard not to.
I would like to improve my physical, emotional, and mental health. I think that working on one area will help me improve in the others.
There are so many ways I can improve. I've really let myself become a workaholic... I could spend so much more quality time BEING with Leo and helping him become a great man. I could exercise more. It will Help me live longer if I take care of myself. I need to define myself like Nana - she really took care of herself. I could stay organized. I love when a room is clean and Inknow where everything is. I could find joy, peace, acceptance and kindness in my life. I don't need to present myself or blueberry that I'm a broken child that doesn't fit in... I'm a good part of the group. Like Nana, people like that they can trust me to create a good, and positive day for them. I need to be more like Nana.
I would like to find out what food allergies I have. My throat issue has been identified as an allergy, now I need to find out what I should avoid. The advice I would give my younger self is, go to the Doc when you don't feel well or have a problem, don't delay.
I need to not impose limits on what I can do.
Become less covetous of other people's houses, things, lives. All I'm doing is making myself crazy, and missing out on the loveliness of what I DO have. I will be more grateful and satisfied. There's a piece of advice I always give to others (especially my kids), that I should take for myself: Don't compare yourself / your things to others; you either end up jealous and bitter or arrogant and obnoxious. Time I heeded that myself.
I want to use what I learned from the MB test to understand myself better and become the best self that I can be.
I would like to be genuinely happy with myself and my life. I want to be confident that I love myself and my life. I cannot think of any advice that anyone has given me that can guide me. I will just have to feel it within myself.
I want to be in better condition, both physically and mentally. I don't want my back to hurt every morning. I want to finally feel comfortable when I don't have on a shirt. Beyond that, I want to - have to - be in control of my emotions. I don't want to lose my cool and start yelling. I don't want to feel threatened by other people and all that to control my emotions
I said in Question 2 that I wish I had taken better care of my body. This is supposed to be the place where I resolve to do a better job. I never have trouble making the resolutions, I have trouble keeping them.
I think managing to separate work and life is huge. This is something I have not managed to do for the last 2 years. This is something I am striving to do. My current line manager is trying to help lay the foundations for this.
Professionally I am working on my ability to be a better influencer of my colleagues and working on my communication and leadership approach to do this. Personally, I feel like I would like to get better at creating and maintaining community. I think the piece of advice that sticks out for me is that when I want to say something to not let myself get hung up about finding the right time to bring something up, but to just do it.
Physically - stay pain free. This will mean changing my diet, changing my habits when it comes to leisure time and be more active overall. Emotionally - take better care of myself and stay healthy. This will mean to truly adopt a meditation practice and address some of the health issues that have creeped up on me Spiritually - to live in the present, that beginners mind, and not waste energy on things i cant control or that control me (ie. technology)
I don't know. Just "let the love be louder"
I'd love to play guitar / base good enough so I could play in the public and - more importantly; to be able to go on a wonderful musical journey with my wife FFS. Learn about different energies as much as doable. Change my job - out of IT and creating the start of a continuously career. Become "top interested husband " Advice1: during a course called "innovative thinking" I was expired to change 3 things in my life: 1) 2) Listen more to my wife 3) Finish what i started Advice2: From my wife's 92 year old grandpa "Massage your face with warm water every day and you look young"
Over the next year, I would like to lose a ton of weight and have a really good job. Having a body that I'm proud of and a job I enjoy will do a lot to improve my quality of life. Recently, advice that I've received from which I really draw inspiration has to do with advocating for myself and with rejecting immediate gratification for long term gain. If I am to advance in my career and take control of my health, I need to make sure I'm recognizing and touting my strengths and also seeking guidance from others when I know I need it. My tendency is to just shut down when I get stuck and wait around for someone to help me. I've learned that this help is not guaranteed. I could be waiting around forever while things get continually worse. It's up to me to ask for help, ask for what I want, and make sure my own needs are met. There is also a constant theme in my life of immediate gratification. It's really hard for me to make a sacrifice now for something I may not see until later. I act as though there is no later. It's now or never. So then, when "later" actually arrives, I find that I've kind of screwed myself over. So, yeah. That's what I'm hoping to bring with me into this coming year. Yay Jews.
The best advice was from my mentor, and it was to try to look at things in a more positive light.
I feel lucky that I'm in a different place than I was last year at this time. I made some major changes and this year I can take time to just grow where I am. I want to continue to grow and change - to do better in my new job, to allow my new romantic relationship to bloom, -!: stay healthy and to do the things I need to do to stay healthy. Eating, sleeping, and exercising.
I would like to be more optimistic and try and spin any negative experiences into positive learnings. Viktor Frankl said that man's freedom lies in the space between stimulus and response where we can determine how we perceive that stimulus and shape that response. At one point in life, I did this well, but I have slipped more lately. I hope to get back on track, and perhaps go back on medication.
I would like to work on my house cleaning habits. This has been an issue for me for my whole life. I know the state of my house, specifically my room, is an indicator of depression for me. And I know that having a clean house/room helps me feel better. A year from now I would like to be able to say my room is clean. As far as advice, I was recently told to not be attached to the outcome. That the process is what is important. This is great advice in general. And with my goal of developing my cleaning habits, I have often been hard on myself because I am not reaching the goal. The process is important and I need to be patient and accepting of myself.
This is a tough one. Of course, I would like to be healthier and stronger this year than I was last year during my cancer treatments, but I think I’m already on track for that. Other ways I would like to improve myself are (in no particular order): I would like to be more disciplined about my creative practice (especially my writing but also my handpan practice); I would like to be less discouraged by and angry about the things that don’t get done around the house and in our life admin (by both our kids and my husband); I would like to volunteer more to do something to improve race relations, heal the impacts of racism and bring about peace in my community and in our country (and in the world); I would like to be a better, more aware friend and family member and communicate more often and better with those who are important to me. As for advice and counsel that has guided/could guide me, the concept that has been up for me lately is choice. I felt like I had no choice in a lot of the things that happened to me during my cancer treatments, but I *do* have a choice now about where I want my life to go, what I want to do and who I want to be. So I want to continue asking myself “what do I want?” and taking the answer seriously—because I know how precious actually having that choice is.
Get organized... remove all this extraneous clutter, relics of the past, and move forward into the future of this Us. I'd like to get out on more adventures in the trees, more swimming in fresh waters, which means planning ahead, blocking out time, insisting on a calm home space so I feel ok about adventuring away. I know what I need to do: Thunderdome with my things. It goes in to trash, recycling, donate, or keep. The Keep Pile has to be the smallest.
I would like to feel like I'm doing something that will sustain me. I'm so easily bored. I need to focus that energy on finding work which keeps me engaged.
Take Action. Stop thinking so much. You'll never have total clarity.
I would like to be fluent in Spanish by next year.
I keep hearing my own mantra - Do what you need to do to take care of myself. Put myself first. Be kind to myself. Be Grateful for what I have, and give back in a big way. I would really like to work on these ideas, and grow as a person and human in society. I also would like to get more physically fit- lose the weight that bothers me, and lead a simpler and more spiritual life. Also important is to try and let go of the small things and just focus more intently on what is most important in the larger scheme.
I have found a source for free courses. The American Museum of Natural History has classes I can take in science to further my knowledge base. I look forward to taking more classes after my sports season (I am a coach of two disciplines).
Identify and act upon problems early. Ask questions. Protect my positive attitude and escape situations that cause negative stress before they colour my entire outlook.
Be healthier, happier and more comfortable in general, not as stressed.
Never settle, always strive for more, and be thankful for what you have. This year I would like to improve my love for myself. I love who I am but I think if I gave more time to do things for myself and fell in love even more with me, I would be a better person to share love, and able to receive more love from others. I also want to improve my quality of life this coming year by having my own apartment, taking care of my body, mind and spirit, establishing a career that will help me make and save money while enjoying what I am doing.
I would like to embrace and nurture my friends more this year. So many things happened this year that really threw my husband and I for a loop that we retreated inward, and while that felt healing, I knew that I needed to reach out to my girlfriends when my dad became ill. I need to continue to nurture that, and stop making excuses. I need girl time, we need time with our couple friends too.
"Perfection is for Assholes"
Gosh, there is so much I want to accomplish this year. I would like to run or walk a marathon. I would like to travel somewhere out of the country. I would like to figure out this George thing. Plans are plans, sometimes they work, and sometimes not so much. I want to be healthy. I want to be strong and I dont really want to be as heavy as I am. I need to stay strong with meditation and yoga. I haven't received counsel or guidance this year directly. But with Georges cancer, and a dear friends suicide..I'm learning that life is short and I need to just LIVE it. This year I want to live FULLY..for real!
Best piece of advice I have received, and this comes out of DBT, and the group I have been working with since August, has been "Breathe. One thing at a time. Pay attention. Pay attention to one thing at a time." I become so scattered when I try to do too many things at once that I become unable to do any of them well, and I'm distracted and unable to give any of them my full attention. I would like to continue my journey toward getting better at staying in the moment, fully participating in my life and in each experience, and finding the joys that my life holds.
I would like to slow down and listen more. I am too wound up. I need to take time to just 'be' and not jump to conclusions so quickly. I need to enjoy my surroundings, get out and play and be playful more than I am currently doing. I need to trust my own self and not make up stories that simply are not true. I need and want to totally immerse myself in this amazing thing called LIFE.
I would like to stop being so down on myself. I'm not sure how to change. I want to love and appreciate myself and my life. I want to stop thinking, "everybody else has..." or "everybody else can..." I want to stop comparing myself to others and really truly love myself. My mom told me to follow my heart, it will lead me in the right direction. I think this is good advice, and I try to do it. I wrote in my diary: "My goal should always be to be more ME. to take actions that bring me closer to myself. however, I should always strive to be my BEST self. the one I can be proud of." I hope I can heed this advice in the next year!
Calm down more. I can be overly pessimistic, and always have, and with the added stress of work, and family, and the rest of life, it rises to the surface. But it does me no good, serves no purpose, and ultimately is a self fulfilling prophecy. So I'd like to dial that back and be more outwardly positive. I don't know if anyone advised me of that specifically, but likely my wife did. I should listen to her more.
I really think I want to lose about 50 lbs this year. Im not sure how this will go. Im not sure I will be able to make it work, but I want it badly. Advice this year that could guide me is in plentiful supply. But I think that consistency and being able to get back on the horse will stabilize me in the coming months. Sticking to my diet between holidays is super important. Im pretty scared of not being able to do this. Of losing momentum. Of not being who I want to be here.
I would like to become more of a Master and less of a "Disaster". This is based upon the counsel received from the Atlantic article about successful marriages. Be kinder. Be less cynical. Don't presuppose your partner is out to get you or being selfish. Assume he is just trying to make you happy; try to make him happy. The more you give, the more you get. That is what I am working to improve on.
Hopefully I will better balance being back at work and the family. I don't want to create more stress for us so I'm going to work on finding ways to keep things relaxed. And keep me from feeling so tense. I have to remember what's important in order for that to happen - sometimes it's not keeping up with the house or the clutter. Family is important.
I would like to lose weight and not be in pain so often. I would like to declutter so my life is simpler. I do not recall any specific pieces of advice or counsel.
I would like to be a good twenty pounds lighter by this time next year. I have lost some weight already but I want to be lighter. I gained a lot of weight going on insulin (after losing a lot of weight) and I want to take a lot more off. I would also like to be enlightened how I lost the 50 / 60 pounds I lost a few years ago, so I could do that again.
I need to work on not giving a fuck. I read it in a book that we care too much about stupid stuff. I have limited fucks to give, and I need to devote my life and emotions to what matters and makes me happy.
1. Work less. 2. Love move. 3. Spend time outside. 4. Be present. 5. Nuture my body.
I've taken a few steps this year toward improving my life; one was as a result of trying to avoid the pain of heartburn by going on an elimination diet as directed by a naturopath. That major change helped me understand which foods tend to make me feel more physically uncomfortable, so I'm going to try and avoid them in general from now on. I've also been working on honouring my intuition about things. In my last relationship, I was told (too) many times how self-absorbed I was; it was the bane of many fights. I didn't realize how that could have been used as a passive aggressive manipulation tactic to make me reconsider my wants, needs and expectations, which is what I did. I now need to unlearn some of that and recognize that my feelings matter too, and while it's good to acknowledge moments when I'm being petty, I also need to realize that I'm not a selfish person. Since I'm not in relationship now, this is the best time for me to strengthen aspects of me that ultimately affect how I feel about myself, and by extension, who I will attract in the future. I have met many people this year who live boldly, authentically, and who reaffirm my spirit as a good one that needs to be nourished and respected.
My chiropractor gave me some good advice about vitamins and exercises. I plan to use this advice to make myself healthier. Already on that path. I wish to be pain free and lighter by next year...On my way...
So much to improve. So much. Better habits. Better structure. Not waiting until tomorrow for something that can be done today. Not holding off on self improvement. Living life NOW. I want to be much more ACTIVE. PRO-active. I want to leap into life and to take life. Not for life to take me. I want to be alive. I'm in a situation now that happened and fine. But that can be the last thing I - in my control (HKBH....) let happen like that. the rest - all choices. Please. decisions. easy to make. with practice.
I would like to be able to look at my life and say, "This is the life of an adult." That includes a positive romantic relationship, stable (and growing) bank accounts, and a life plan for at least the next few years.
I'd like to be healthier, more self disciplined, take better care of myself, lose some weight. I feel like it sounds so stupid, but I want to live intentionally. And sometimes you can intentionally sit around all day in your pajamas, eating Cheetos, and watching Forensic Files. I also want to be more intentional with people - saying thank you, being helpful, being kind and speaking love.
I would like to be more caring, less inwardly-focused and in my head all the time. People want to be reached out to, just like I do, and will not see my reaching out as an imposition. People forgive. People don't think about me not contacting them for ages all the time in a negative way like I think they do.
I'd like to ramp up my self-care. I'm not getting any younger and I need to take better care of myself. I'd also like to sleep more and sleep more soundly. I'm really looking forward to that!
Ha, I refer you to the last question - change my job! Or at least change my attitude - after all, how much of the way that I feel at work can be laid at other people's feet, and how much is actually my fault for being a bit lazy, a bit of inefficient, and not sticking up for myself? The piece of advice that I always come back to is what Chris tells me when I'm feeling low: 'This too shall pass.' Because it always does. Even when you're in the depths of despair, there's a chink of light.
One of the things I'm looking forward to starting is a bullet journal - a place to put all my thoughts and dreams. I also want to put myself out in the world more. I spend a great deal of time in my head and sometimes that is good and sometimes you just need to let go.
I'd like to keep practicing my Spanish (just starting Duolingo this month), keep up on my reading goals, and continue to expand my patience and understanding in dealing with others.
I want to go internal, at least when it comes to our family. J, G, and I (plus the puppies!) will be the center of my decisions, how I spend my time, and where I focus my attention. I want to BE A FAMILY, in a very verb-y, "doing" sense. I'll finally have free hours and a less-divided brain, and I want to make it wonderful for all of us.
Lose weight. Get healthier. Make it a priority.
I want to be more patient. I have improved somewhat in the past year but I really want to not take things personally and not care how long people need to say something or how often they repeat themselves. I want to feel calm and placid inside myself so I can ask for what I need calmly and with compassion and kindness. I want to move my joy set point up I can recover more quickly from the emotional setbacks and dips in moods.
My life so far has been pretty lucky: I was born during a time of relative peace and stability; my parents are well-off and care about me; academics pursuits easily pique my interest; and I seem to make a lot of friends. I have not had to put much effort into these facets of my life, except that of my scholastic endeavors, yet something felt lacking. Until recently, I could not grasp the reason for this, this void in my being which longed to be filled. Sorry, that sounds oddly sexual; let me try again: it's like missing a quintessential part of the human experience. It has been a slow realization, marred with missed signals and lost opportunities for self- and mutual gratification. Someday, maybe someday soon, I will learn to take the plunge and find myself through someone else. I have not received much solid advice regarding this, but a few months ago I chatted with one of my friends, and she summarized the feeling of being in a relationship as nothing short of exhilarating. Though I can naught but trust her statement in good faith, the idea of sharing such an intensely unitive emotion so closely with someone seems so appealing, so enduring. I suppose such sentiments are why love and longing resonate thematically across so many cultures' artistic expressions, especially Western ones. From Homer's Iliad to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet to Mozart's Fur Elise to the seemingly endless list of love songs by musicians of the last century, that enrapturing allure has captured the hearts, minds, and experiences of billions. Perhaps I will join that human tradition soon, for that exhilarating feeling.
Similar to q. 6 really I want to both challenge myself to be better AND to accept and even appreciate who I already am. I am often told I don't give myself enough credit for what I do and who I am but there is a humility and insecurity balance I'd like to work on. I'd also like to find a way to be better at letting go of past hurt and focusing on quality over quantity. I'd also like to let go of THINGS, DE-CLUTTER my surroundings and my head and heart.
My friends all told me to speak up for myself regarding work, personal life and work balance, and being belittled on the job. I still don't take that advice seriously enough and should.
I want to adopt an attitude of gratefulness and mindfulness. Last year, my goal was to leave work at work. To compartmentalize. I was surprised when I saw last year's answers because I did it. These two elements seem almost cliche' but I have become more and more convinced that living mindfully allows us to appreciate the small extraordinary elements of life...allows us to savor living. I also have so much to be grateful for...yet I tend to always be in problem-solving mode (always thinking, analyzing) ..improvement mode (always striving) that I sometimes fail to appreciate, and thus,experience joy.
I am working on making more time -- to be quiet - to slow down. My friend used to hint that meditation would be helpful. I aspire to follow that advice -- or at least, for now, begin by going to bed earlier and leaving the house earlier so I am not always rushing and late!
I’d like to continue losing a bit of weight. I feel better about myself; less schlubby. Living with Fran has helped me keep better sleeping patterns: going to bed at 11-ish and getting up at 07:15 with enough time to have breakfast before work. These may be small things, but I think they make a difference to my wellbeing. I’d like to get better at time management at work, but I’m not sure how I’m going to do it. I have days where I focus on the task at hand, but then I have to catch up with the email backlog that I leave behind. My life is really good at the moment. Living with Fran makes me so happy. I came home this evening and could see the light on through the front window. I waved at Fran excitedly as I walked past to the front door. It’s so nice coming home to a cosy house with Fran and the cats. There’s lots I want to do and I’m gradually working my way through my list; but my to-do list also keeps growing. And I need some downtime where I can relax and not worry. We had a really nice weekend last weekend - staying at home, not doing much. It was good to unwind. I also like the idea of deciding what I give a fuck about. One only has so many fucks to give! I’ve been quite good over the years of letting go of things that are less important. And living with someone certainly helps that because you have to find a happy medium between what we both want. I’m not sure if there’s a single piece of advice or counsel that could guide me. Keith, my swimming coach, is full of wisdom. He told us off for calling Fran “Calamity Fran”. I guess the theory is that you live up to your name and it introduced negative thought patterns.
I need to get more healthy so that I can enjoy travel and other freedoms that will come with retirement in a few years. Right now I am so heavy and also so tired, and filled with aches and pains that make it hard to walk far, tolerate plane rides and airport sprints, or even wake up feeling like really doing something.
I need to start rebuilding my life, continuing to include by now 19 year old son but also to expand my horizons. By this time time next year I hope to be living someplace more affordable, leaving myself some small amounts of money to be able to attend concerts or travel.
This is a tough...After Andy died, Steven told me to make sure I was taking care of myself, alluded to making sure the adult's mask was on securely before fixing the child on an airplane. That's an interesting idea, but I don't like the idea of taking advice from Steven. Wendy has told me a million times to control myself, to stop trying to fix things for others. That's probably the key improvement to make next year, because my "fix it" personality is not sustainable. So, I guess I'd like to love and support my friends and family without smothering/trying to fix their lives. I'd like to listen actively and stop there.
Come home to yourself. I want to embody that wholeheartedly. I want to stay in my business, not get caught up in the business of others or of the universe but to by in my heart space and experience life from this place. I want to spread more love, be less judgemental and learn to trust in myself and the powers that be. I want to be kinder and more authentic.
Lo espiritual ayudo mucho, me gustaria el año que viene seguir creciendo en ese aspecto, dejar aun mas los prejuicios de lado, no juzgar a nadie, disfrutar a mi hijo junto con mi pareja. Comenzar a planificar fechas de compra de un inmueble
More compassion! Less snarkiness!
I would like to be a better listener, more organized, and more patient. Remembering Happiness comes from within is counsel I would like to remember.
I want to be more mindful. I want to have a regular meditation practice next year, and do yoga in the mornings a few times a week. I want to eat with my phone off. I want to wear comfortable clothes, read for pleasure, drink tea, walk the dog, and just be mindful. I think this will improve my life by helping me focus on what matters and set aside my fears -- make decisions, from big goals to just how I spend my time moment to moment, out of courage and values, not fear. Advice...I read the book 10% Happier this year, and it really affected me. I can't think of a specific quote, but I felt how right he was when he talked about how he's more than 10% happier for being more mindful. I think it will support all of my other goals and make them feel easier because I won't be spending my time on things that don't bring meaning to my life.
Get your ego out of the way. Remember that you are doing what you are doing in order to help others. You cannot control the outcome, but you can control your own behavior. "The presence of fear shos up when you're not relying on the Universe."
I'd like to continue to make progress in my step work. Specifically, I'd like to complete (my first) step 9, to have an extended period of abstinence, and to provide service by working with a sponsee.
I'd like to be less tired. I sleep a lot. I think it's because I'm lazy about diet and exercise, and I forget to take my iron/vitamins. It sounds silly but I want to just feel more like a real person. I feel like a totally real person at the office, but I also don't get anything done, so I know I need a work at home/office hybrid, which I have. But I think the office is good for my psyche.
"Adulthood is not an event but a gradual process" I like to think of that and replace "adulthood" with "personhood". Like it's okay to make mistakes and discover new things because I'm not done yet. I try to remind myself of this when it feels like I'm just trapped in the same town with the same job. It may not seem likely right now, but I could travel and see new places. So I guess I would like to improve myself by continuing to try new things even when I'm uncomfortable.
Tikkun Olam. Examine what can and can't be repaired and remember for future living.
I am constantly trying to improve myself and have been since I left school and realised that school didn't actually teach me anything that I needed to know to survive in the real world. I want to improve my character and get control of my monkey mind. The monkey mind thing will probably be reduced if I start meditating again. I have a tendency to overthink everything and get a lot of chatter going on in my head when really I should be in zen mode, so meditating and learning to be in the moment and more aware will be a big help. As for character, I like the idea from Ben Franklin to work on one character trait each week and then cycle back through when the list is complete. The method has been modernised a little by people like Tom Cassidy with his 13x4 method (13 character traits, 1 per week, cycles through 4 times per year). Apart from that it is all down to me to be aware of the things I want to improve on and catch myself in those moments of weakness/slippage so I can act on them.
I'd like to be happy with what I see when I look in the mirror. I'd like for my body to not be source of stress and sadness for me.
I'd like to be more confident around people, and around women especially. I'd like to be fitter and develop a regular exercise routine, and I'd like to have become a better cook.
I want to make the most out of my opportunity to learn Servant Leadership. How can I be a better supervisor, leader, family member, partner, friend. The Servant Leadership committee is a gift that I want to take advantage.
I would like to improve myself by trying new things and not to be afraid of being who I want to be.
You be you. Be kind. Be thoughtful. Do good work. Make each day better than when you found it. Laugh, love, and be.
The advise is: "Ask for help." An insightful friend encouraged me to delegate more and to ask for help when I need it. Every goal I have held for more than a year will be met with the help of my family and friends.
I would like to work toward greater contentment with my life day to day. I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman who show me the kind of love and understanding I have been looking for my entire life. I would like to know I am savoring each moment and living it fully.
"Don't pressure yourself. Don't worry about what others think you should do or what the societal "norm" is. Do what moves you and what makes you smile and the "good" will follow." --Misha Collins
More reading and one less volunteer role
PROCRASTINATION + FEAR are two things I must let go of if I want to move forward and succeed. I can't be great as long as I allow these things to hold me back. It's important I remember the lessons I've been taught years prior so I don't repeat them; this requires a very fine balance.
It feels like my entire life (spiritually, educationally, finding-a-fulfilling-future-y) is moving towards where I'm supposed to be. I'd like to do a combination. First, internally, I'd like to focus on letting go; being really aware of my mind/expectations while not being ruled by them, and of maintaining detachment/non-grabbing. With the external world, I'd like to bring in more thoughtful organization and discipline, to clear space in my mind, and give me the ability to be efficient and pursue meaningful goals.
I have started trying to eat healthier and to cut out diet sodas. I still have a lot to do, and I need to add in exercise, but it is definitely a start and I want to keep at it. I think the best is not to talk about it, but just do it.
I just want to strive to show him how much I care and appreciate all that he does for me every day. I love him so much, and I never want him to think I would take him for granted, or that I don't notice all the little ways he takes such good care of my heart. <3
I feel I need to be less frustrated, angry and sad about my family circumstances. I have been told to seek counseling, which I've done, but it really has not eased my pain or angst at all. Try again this year?
I want to have a better relationship with my husband by this time next year and be better at being present instead of distracted by my phone. I plan on using what I've learned about attachment parenting and building connection with your kids to rebuild my relationship and connection with my husband - not from a parenting perspective, because he doesn't need parenting from me, but from a respect and relationship perspective, because that's something I can do that will be positive in our lives.
Less on line time and more one on one and family time with my children. I don't want my children to favor screens for face to face interactions and I need to set that example.
I would like to have a better practice of formal mindfulness by next year to reduce my anxiety and help me be more present in my day to day life. The advice to keep in mind is to be gentle with yourself and that this is a PRACTICE. Just get on the cushion and the rest will follow.
Transition. Become the self I am. Be who you are inside
A piece of advice i was once given, which helped me a lot, was about friendship. We cannot be friends with everyone It is like an onion, - one has the outer layer, the ones you greet and smile at. Then the next layer, your acquaintances The ones you have a coffee with once a year or wish them well on their birthdays. The next layer, is slightly closer You have a meal together twice a year (tongue in cheek here) - but you get the drift We sometimes braai together, even go camping at times. Then, there is the core group, of two to four friends. They are the ones you confide in, go to for counsel, share your sorrows and joys with. Trying to be a friend to every person burns you out. Now, i would like to try to build those closer friendships. At this time of my life, i have few if any that i truly share with. It is this detached state i am in i think, that causes me to withdraw Living a slightly hermit life. It is not good.
I would like to stick to a budget and reduce my debts. I'd like to work on being so sarcastic and defensive and I want to be more careful about what I say that might hurt people. I would like to get more exercise and try to be more social when I can. I'd like to put more time into volunteering and building my resume.
I'd like to improve my financial position, be frugal. Be louder and courageous and more powerful.
I would like to let go of the guilt and the shame that I have associated with procrastinating, wasting time, and my dad. I would like to stop procrastinating, and wasting time, and use more of my energy in more productive ways. I really need to stop procrastinating. I also would like to cultivate enough self-love to overcome the shame of my issues with food. I would like to remove the shame attached so I am able to admit I have a food addiction (or disordered eating?) and hopefully get help from a therapist or dietician. A piece of advice that I received in the past year that meant a lot to me was 2 of of Leslie's dharmas: not taking anything personally, NOTHING, nothing at all, and also everything you do, giving it your best. I think knowing these two things, I have to find the balance of detachment from people with healthy attachment even knowing nothing is personal. With the first one, I think I believe it so much it's kind of dangerous. I have to find a healthy detachment, not just a distanced detachment. As for the second one, this will really help me when procrastinating and wasting time. And also, hopefully will push me to see a therapist.
One piece of advice that will guide me is that if I do not like something, I can change or try to change something else; I do not have to suffer through something while being angry without doing anything about it. I hope that I take this advice and improve myself with it during this year because I think that I am a pushover and people take advantage of it, and I see that but do nothing about it but I want to and will.
I would like to improve my health. There are so many ways that I could do things better for my health. I will focus on drinking water. There are so many good things that will come from that simple change.
I really want to enjoy each moment as it happens. Too often I'm thinking about the next thing I have to do and I don't focus on what is happening right in front of me. I also want to stop worrying so much about our kids, Brian and me and substitute my catastrophic attitude for a more relaxed, positive and realistic one.
I would like to continue the good work I'm doing with self-love and self-care. I'd like to finish my mirror work and begin work on "respectful confrontation." I'd also love to get better at budgeting my money.
I would like to improve myself and my life by being more mindful about how I spend my time, what I put into my mouth and what comes out of my mouth. That's a lot but those are all areas I want to work on in order to become a better and more peaceful person. I want to be more mindful about what I do, watch, see, read. How I interact with Josh and my family and friends. Putting my phone down and computer away when I'm talking to people or they are talking to me. Not always checking my phone every 30 seconds because I feel bored or antsy or anxious. Being more present in everything that I do. I want to improve what I put into my mouth because they say what you put into your mouth comes out of your mouth. I want to eat better and speak more kindly and gently.
I find myself saying 'be kinder' a lot. Of course, I'm saying this to my children but it's advice I probably could follow as well. It's never out of style to be kind. I have been talking a lot about starting a mindfulness practice again and I have yet to start. From past experience I know this will help me tremendously in all sorts of way. The best advice I probably ever got - from the therapist I have been seeing for 20+ years - is be consistent. Don't make things too complicated and be consistent. I think I make things too complicated and get in my own way.
Honestly, I want my husband to figure out what he wants out of his life. That's not my life, obviously, but it affects my life greatly because our lives are shared. I want him to spend more time being happy instead of miserable or just getting through the weeks. I wish I had some good advice to give.
I want to be less angry about people doing what they do. I have been very mad and disappointed with some people I volunteer with, and it's more pain for me than for others. I don't feel ready to forgive. I hope I become more forgiving and that I put my passion in the right place.
Less procrastination and more time spent constructively. Spend less on day to day purchases but travel more. Be less critical of others.
I would like to achieve my life by becoming more confident in myself and my abilities. Right now I am in a corporate tax class and I am severely struggling, whenever I struggle with something it brings down my self esteem and confidence down. I need to learn to be more confident and believe in myself, that is something I believe I will always struggle with, but I can always try to improve myself. This past year, I have come to listen to my mother's advice a lot more than I ever have. She is very wise and always gives me the best advice and counsel, she knows what to say to make me feel better about myself, anything that she has told me can really help me better myself and my life.
I want to do some writing and have discipline in that regard. I have committed to writing the story for 1-2 veterans; I also want to write about cultural humility and perhaps even the outcomes of prematurity.
I would like to build a meaningful long lasting relationship with a group of friends. I have a fear of trust and shame about who the "real me" is. I also have shame about my home.
To not care so much what people think about me, maybe that. To really be more interested in self-care, in developing myself through yoga, meditation and an artistic path. To becoming both softer with myself and tougher. Both more pliant and flexible and ruthless. I want to move forward while being able to be still.
The less social media the better, happier, less jealous, and stronger I am. I want to try my very best to ween it out, so I can focus on my and how I feel/act/am.
Learn to make a new unmarried life. Learn to be happy with what I have.
Be more human, less robot. Try to get back to who you were, authentic and passionate. Form real relationships, less phone/facebook/snap/ IG relationships. Meet in person with people. See things. Explore more.
I would like to be less invested in being praised, less invested in being "the good one" and more invested in doing good works, serving others, and being a source of true goodness in the lives of the people that I touch. I would like to be a source of goodness that doesn't require applause, or even get noticed beyond the gratitude that people feel for having a good thing in their life. I would like to become a sort of invisible goodness in the world.
I would like to move through this next year with only myself to guide me -- I have spent so much time fighting to create exactly the life that I want for myself, and now that I have it I don't want to lose sight of WHY I came here in the first place. Especially in the past few months, I have found myself bogged down by everyday anxieties, or even swept up in frivolous sweetness. I don't want to become so focused that I can't enjoy the little things, but I also don't want to become complacent. I don't want to be paralyzed by fear. I want to life my life in constant awe and respect for the things that light me up, and make a commitment to honor those things above all else -- above what I think I "should" do or what I think others think I "should" do.
I would like to become a better supervisor. I think my approach to managing people and working with them needs to be different. I need to be more direct, say what my expectations are and not just think that people intiutively understand what i mean.
I would like to focus on positive thoughts and leave the past and all regrets behind. My life starts now. There is no point regretting what I haven't done because I'm still young and there is so much good that I can still do.
I want to be more fit and have better control of my finances. Not really! These are recurring themes in my life. I say they are important but evidently not important enough. : )
I would like to be more mindful and present with my thoughts and actions. I struggle with focusing a lot on the future and on what may be, instead of focusing and relishing in the present.
"Its okay to admit you need people, its also okay to take a step back and have time just to yourself" In the past year I've admitted that I do need people and accepted those people into my life and leaned on them when I have needed. But I haven't taken time for myself, to stop and reflect and breathe. Life is about pushing forward, but I know that I push too hard and need a gentle reminder to stop and look up and just be rather than do.
I would like to learn to depend on God in all things - especially anxiety and stress. I tend to use food, the Internet, TV, even reading, to deal with the holes in my heart instead of letting God fill and repair them. Advice: Trust in the Lord with all that you are; don't depend on your own flawed and limited knowledge, acknowledge God in every moment and let Him give you direction. Proverbs 3:5-6
Similar to what I wrote in question 6 about what I want to accomplish... I want to be healthier and be able to do a pull up. I also want to have a stronger sense of community in San Francisco.
To be genuinely nicer.
As mentioned in question 6, I want to be more self-disciplined in the next year. I've downloaded a course on mindfulness & have several articles. Hopefully, better grasp on mindfulness will help with my absentminded ness, my weight and every other spiritual deficiency (smiling at this a bit).
Every decision can make a difference.
I would like to be able to self-motivate in the mornings. I want to be busy and creatively productive. I want to be interesting to people and have lots of work to show. I want to be confident in my skills and be able to share them effectively with others. I want to find a creative partner who I can bounce ideas off of and who could help me keep busy. I'd like to spend some time living simply, on my own for a few weeks in Europe. I want my skillset to expand through hard work and practice. I just want make beautiful things and live in nature, surrounded by heartwrenchingly gorgeous beauty that inspires.
Don't worry so much!
Stay grounded. Breath out fear and let love come in. Being outdoor with the children more and not allowing my mind to speak it's fears and distort reality. If I could achieve a bit more of stability in my business that would be amazing too.
I would like to improve professionally, and improve my self-confidence in my professional capabilities. Advice or counsel...my counselor Kerrie was phenomenal. I love her phrase, "That's good data to have." Just examining what I'm thinking, and what assumptions I'm making, and why I feel the way I feel — it's good data to have.
I need to change my job, because it's making me *literally* crazy; I'm on anti-anxiety medication because of the job I have right now. So when all of my friends say "you need to learn how to code" at least half-a-dozen times, then it might be time to actually do the work.
Do the things I love to do. Do the things in my heart. DO with little bed ones. "What would I like to be remembered for" "how will I leave things better than I found them"
I would like to be less afraid of sitting with other people who are in pain and suffering. Be open-hearted. Be brave.
Positivity. I have a reputation for being a glass-half full kind of gal, but I have noticed time again this year some deep cynicism behind some of my beliefs and statements. I don't always believe what I say - I don't believe it can be done. I don't think it's the right approach. Sometimes that can be healthy. . . but I think I have a little too much right now. Want to try to sepdn the next year thinking more about what is possible instead of why it is impossible.
i want to find a program of study that could help me advance in my carreer goals
I'd really like to reignite that spiritual connection I used to have with my body, be proud of it again, feel strong and not in pain...but at the same time, I can't reclaim my youth and I can't put as much energy in it as when I was younger, so I have to find balance and happiness with where I am now...and not be so timid about it! Because there are so many other things I want to explore and now have the opportunity to do: travel, be creative... and I think doing those things will somehow guide me to this balance. But I'd still like to fall in love again with someone worthwhile... Advice? Me to me, in my journal, a long time ago: "You already know the answers. Listen. Be still. You'll know what to do. Get ready for the good stuff!"
By my 62nd birthday, I'd like to intuit that 75% of my 60th Year Plan is 50% or more on track :-)
This year I read the books growth mindset and grit. They were monumental in helping develop me professionally and my mental attitude towards myself and how I perform in this life. So I'm working on trying not to be despond it, but see my failures as opportunities to grow. Griffin is helping me to work harder at improving and not giving up like I have in the past so many times. I was of a fixed mindset for so many years. I believe the Lord led me to these books and they have helped form my spiritual attitudes as well.
I'd like to improve my physical health by eliminating habit of three glasses of wine and excusing myself from regular exercise. I keep numbing myself and making excuses that keep me from being as strong and present and clear as I wish to be. This year I will reclaim strength, tone and determination (for experiencing my desires and achieving my dreams). "A confused mind says, 'no'." I need to be clear (of mind/body/spirit *and* intention), if I want potential customers to be clear and say, "yes" to my offers.
I would like to improve myself by being calmer, setting limits, and having fun by myself, with friends, and with my husband and family. I'm always working on being more organized, of course, but I'd also like to accept myself and my limitations. It's not exactly advice or counsel, but it is advice from counselors, the idea of telling people who don't like me and don't want what's best for me, "go fuck yourselves". It's come in handy this past year and this year already and we'll see where it takes me.
Never sit still. Keep trying for the impossible.
MORE LOVE LESS FEAR! - UNCLE DAN LET PEOPLE BE ASSHOLES ON THEIR OWN TIME! - UNCLE JARED FEAR IS HEALTHY, AS LONG AS YOU DON'T LET FEAR STOP YOU! - FIANCÉ CORY Also, continue to exercise! It improves every aspect of my life!
Be more believing of myself and my abilities. I want to not be so afraid of showcasing my photography work. I also want to be 100% more financially stable. the best piece of advice i think I can use is too be consistent to be myself and to always try my best. AND TO HAVE FAITH
This outstanding sending-forth prayer: Life is short, and we do not have much time to gladden the hearts of those who walk the journey with us. So be quick to love and make haste to be kind.
I married a woman this year who tells me that it is most important to be positive. I think I continue to focus on the negativity and its important to be positive and to look at all the good things that exist. Although it's hard for me I am going to try to be positive and look at the blessings I have.
This next year I want to feel alive and free. Moving back to SoCal I recognized how much I belong here and how alive I feel being here. I want to explore that further and I want to find more activities that make me better; mentally, physically, spiritually. I want to breathe in times I'm feeling defensive and not respond when frustrated or upset.
One of the biggest impressions and advises i can say i recieved last year is about to be volunerable. To share my truth. My full true me and to feel safe and open to share it. To be it. When thinkig about it this iw one of the main themes i recieved in the past year as am advice, an an experience and as an experiment. And i would like to keep on following this path and keep on embracing and accepting others who sjare woth me their volinerability. Actually, maybe this is refering to how i would like to improve myself. I wish to judge less. I noticed that when starting to walk the path of openness and volunerability i judge people thst are not. And generally of course i judge.. i feel simce startingy inner joirney i am able to see it more and more, how much i judge. So i wish to reduce it. To really work on it... I think it came toe now since i noticed that i started to be judgmental towards people that are not open and sharing, "superficial". Instead of just feeling more compassion and maybe even trye understanding how volunerable is to volunerable... Yes. It iw really bothering me that i judge so much. Everything of course... his is good, and this is bad. He is like this, she is like that. Can it be that i just let it be?
I'd like to spend more of my time actively. Whether it is hiking in the woods, riding my bike, volunteering at a local soup kitchen, or playing soccer with my kids; I want to move more and sit less. I'm currently the heaviest I've ever been at 235 pounds. My 5'8" frame is barely supporting the weight. All of my clothes don't fit, I run out of breath making the bed, and I struggle to wake up each morning. I don't want to turn 30 and still be carrying this weight with me. In 5778 I'm planning to help my aunt by acting as her surrogate. But in order to do that, I need to drop this extra weight and get ready for the marathon that pregnancy and birth truly are. It's time to get serious about using my abilities while I still have them or risk losing them for good. I don't want to get diabetes or be too fat to get around, and it will only get harder each year that passes. This has to be the year that change is made.
I need to learn how to live with some mobility limitations and how to live with some mobility aids such as leg braces.
I want to find the path to consistently connect to mourning about the world, to that deep aliveness, in order to not have fear that meetings will trigger me into the the pain of that mourning.
I want to be healthier. I have been working on my mental health for this year and it is improving. I want to work on my physical health. I need to make a real decision about seeking to have another child or letting go of that dream.
Ah, good question. After DragonCon, when I was much too focused on everyone else's experience to enjoy my own, I was counseled to let go a bit. Let other people do things for themselves. I'll try to be less of a control freak this year, and to let other adults make their own decisions, even when I feel they're wrong.
Ironically when I left my last company it's because they told me to take some time while I was on holiday and really sort out what I wanted to be doing. When I came back from holidays I told them that I didn't do that. I didn't take a day out of my holidays to think about work. Instead I thought about it almost constantly and it took some of the joy out of my holidays (not that I told them that part). I came back with a new tattoo - an Enzo circle. The circle is left open to signify imperfection. What I told them (and what they disliked to the point of basically showing me the door), is that no one can be perfect. All we can do is try our best and let that be enough. I can't be a perfect wife, mother, employee, etc. Essentially I gave myself the perfect advice this year, and I plan to live by it!
I would like to improve my life by feeling fulfilled in the work I am doing. It was recommended to me that I continue my education by doing a certificate program in child and adolescent psychotherapy. The class begins in a few weeks and goes for two years. I would also like to continue surrounding myself with people who are kind, inspiring, uplifting, and who push me to want to be better.
Establish a healthy lifestyle. Use natural ways to treat symptoms in my body. Continue exercising.
I'd like to be surprised frankly. Being in 12 step programs has afforded me peace, self awareness, humility, acceptance, serenity, detachment, boundaries, and so much more. I've found a HP that I give my life over to when I remember. And it too has afforded me unimaginable gifts. So as much as I'd like to say I'd like move of all of the above, and I want more connections with friends and fellows, I really would like to be surprised by the gifts of the program. That said, I'd like to keep painting, writing, drawing, creating art. If this could be my next steps as a vocation, I'd be completely fine with this. I'd like to travel, growing in awareness of other people and cultures, which will influence my growth as a member of this world.
I think the biggest improvement I could make would be to move into a position that is better suited to my skill set and interests. I have received input from several folks around me to encourage me to believe that I deserve a job that fits me better. The past couple of years, it appears that I have been punishing myself, refusing to believe that I deserve more. It's time to stop punishing myself and move forward with confidence.
I want to be more present to those I interact with
I plan to use the lessons learned at UCLA to incorporate them in my new career and education. I will remember to slow down, view the situation from different angles, and if I don't know the answer I will look into any resources that may guide me to the solution.
See day 6! I think I would like to find a thing that is that magic combination of useful to the community, meaningful to me, and the right amount of fun. I can't say I have received any advice or counsel that directly applies. I have, of course, received much wisdom in many forms from my friends, faith community, family, books, and other transmissions. I just haven't received (or possibly, haven't recognized) the big "aha" that will help me get onto the right solution. I hope to continue to travel with husband, to reinvigorate our life together when at home, to keep in touch with friends, to be useful and to learn new things. I want to learn to be more flexible.
I want to improve my artistic practice, giving myself regular uninterrupted time. I think the biggest piece of advice that I need to bring in and remember is do not wait for the stamp of approval from others. If I continue to wait for permission to do things that I am driven to do, I will be waiting for a long time.
I want to be happier. I have felt so sad and I think it is because I am unhappy at work and unhappy at home. I don't know what will do it. I seem to have this struggle to be happy every year. I feel like since I have been married I have lost myself. I hope I can be happier married but if not I will have to try it solo.
I just read today that enlightenment is living in this world without letting it affect you. That was stunning to me. That's what I've been doing, more and more every day. But I'm not sure that's the best option. I want to be in love. I want to build a family. I want to do great big work. I can't do those things if the world doesn't affect me. I can't affect the world if the world doesn't affect me. Or can I? How can I find my way without destroying myself in the meantime. When I figure that out, I will figure out health. May still take a lifetime to implement it, but I'm on the right path.
I want to become a better person
Just be myself, who I really am. A friend taught me #5 of the 12 step program. What other people think of me is none of my business.
The advice I got from my sister in the summer of 2016 resonated with me. I have the tendency to bottle certain things up. For example, when something someone says or does irritates me, I keep it to myself. The reason why I do that depends on the situation (trying to keep the conversation moving, etc) and/or person - timing. But after a while, if the person or situation keeps getting to me, I sort of explode and then everything I bottled up, comes out. I then communicate from a place of impatience, irritation and just overall emotion - which isn't a big deal in general, but it is in these kind of situations. People often wonder why I'm suddenly pissed off and they think I'm irrational. So, my sisters advice: communicate! It makes life easier for everyone - especially myrself. I'm going to try to improve this - not only in this coming year, but for the rest of my life. So thanks Sis!
I would like to be healthier. I would like to have incorporated exercise into my daily routine so that I feel stronger, more flexible, and more energetic.
I would like to eat more vegetables, drink less alcohol ( but wine! I love wine! and as if that wasn't enough I've gotten into cocktails too--all the restaurants in Portland make amazing cocktails and I want to try them all!), do yoga every day, stretch, run, stand on my damn head, grow my hair out while vanquishing my hair twirling compulsion, read more books, spend less time on the internet, dream, focus, speak up, grow even closer to my kids, have a magical and romantic vacation in Hawaii with David, deepen our connection, have more sex, more hikes, make art, learn how to sew, write write write write write. Will at work always gives us the kind of counsel that goes straight down into your core, in a way that you can hear it and absorb it right away. Will reminded me, on a busy night when I was letting all the tugs from every direction pull me to a frazzle, that I set the pace, that they have to wait for me to get to them. It made me see that patience is part of going out. I watched how Will does it--he practices the same concept with us servers at the bar. When it's bedlam in there he just continues in his calm (but not slow)present way to get to everyone and every task in the order that it came to him. He doesn't let people bully him. But he'll listen if you need something to be made on the fly. This is really different from so many bartenders I've worked with who go slow on purpose or just ignore you. It's a way of going with the uncertainty of the business with a care and determination that just makes so much sense. Like, we're all in this storm together--it's expected that we would help each other out. I've been practicing this since he mentioned it to me, and I don't get flooded with fear when I get busy. It doesn't scare me at all anymore. All the veils are taken down, no one can lord their power over me anymore. I can move independently in the world and people can also move over to make room for me as I pass. As I have always believed that I somehow didn't belong and had to defer always the right of way to everyone else, I could never feel at home no matter where I was. Now I'm finally ready to spread out and decorate. No more beating myself up. Taking my turn and my space and my time.
I would like to get in a better position financially - despite earning good money I'm not getting ahead. Less drinking, more overtime, and more saving is the plan.
I would like to focus more on my creative outlets and slow down my time when I'm not at work. I won't have the space for my computer so I can pick the few things I have the space for and make them my go-to activity. Until we have our own place, I won't be able to do "messy" arts like painting or making jewelry but I can write and draw and meditate with coloring books. Hopefully I will get into good habits so when I can spread out again, I won't be overwhelmed.
I want to be more confident. I recently realized I've become very meek, even around people I feel like I should really trust. I'm working on that. Also, still working on my arms. Very very sloppy still.
I would like to be NICER. There is always a choice, to be nice or to not bother to be nice, or to on purpose not be nice. I would like to choose to be nice - its easier in the short term to not bother but I want to make the effort.
Keep working. Quit screwing around.
I think my life is pretty good in general. I want to pay more attention to my health, and try to get in better physical shape.
I think I need to accept and understand the relationship I have to other people. I misunderstood my need for acceptance and my need to care and it confused my understanding of what I wanted in life, what my strengths are, what my goals could be, what I could achieve and what I need to work on. Now that I know more I'm ready to start embracing my place in various communities and be more specific about where I spend my energy.
Harkens back to Q6, doesn't it? One concrete thing I might be able to improve is my health and nutrition. Unlike everything else in my life, the biggest (but not only!) thing stopping me there is me. I mostly work from home and can make far healthier choices than I do. As far as advice in that area, a simple "eat less and move more" might be most appropriate.
Finish my dissertation! Figure out what I need to do, make a plan, and follow through!
I really really really want to get out of debt in 2017 or at least make a good dent in our current debt. We are doing better financially, so barring another curveball year like 2016 has been, I'm optmistic-ish. But my husband and I seem to have the worst kind of luck with this stuff so I don't really know. I also need to work on my anxiety, which is kind of crippling. After the trauma of this year, it has become worse than ever. I really should go see a therapist, but I'm pretty resistant to that process, which isn't helped by my anxiety, in a catch-22 kind of way.
Advice and counsel to guide me: We know what we are. We know what we are here to do. We are here to release our fears. Speak truth from the heart and you will be free. Also, to approach life with courage and compassion. The yummy and the bliss - which I invite in - may take care of themselves.
Stop caring about what other people think. I learned this through Chiara at camp and it is a working progress, but just being in the mindset helps me become more confident. I want to become more aware, especially of my emotions and relationships, and I think that acting class is helping me a lot. I want to establish a better relationship with my brother, and be more loving and grateful towards my parents. I also want to establish really strong friendships with Jasmine, Nora, Sloane, Heldana... and become (maybe) less awkward. But I still gotta think about everything that is changing. Everything is going to keep changing, and I will constantly be discovering things and thinking about problems that will be big and bigger and bigger and maybe smaller but they will all seem important in the moment. That is life stuff that I'm thinking about right now.
Well of course there's always the working out more which is something that I always want to do and the less Swearing. I guess the biggest issue that I have is my anger and I know where that stands from. Being Jewish is a patriarchal environment and even though I've really been an overachiever my brother always got props however now that my mom's old she realizes who is the person that actually is productive and successful. I've carried this forward into my career I am a woman that has worked in the trades for 30 years and been passed over time and time again for less qualified men. I am angry about it in a bit better I have been given an opportunity to work for a different agency in a different capacity perhaps I should go into therapy because I don't want to spend my life reacting to people's ignorance
I would like to continue growing as a person on the path I have been walking for the past few years. I know there have been many great words of wisdom that I have been given over the past year, and I have been so "in the moment" with things that I can't pinpoint what was said or exactly by whom. I have certainly made an effort to adjust myself accordingly as I have taken in this advice. I think if I keep doing what I'm doing, I'll be in great shape physically, mentally, and emotionally this time next year.
I want to deepen my yoga practice.
Be more kind to myself. Take more me time.
Continue to push the limits of your fear to speak publicly, write & make art!
All the good advice is coming back to me. I am internalizing it, I hope. Here's the thing: this year I'm just going to try to live without the horrible weighted responsibility of the world on my shoulders. I want to dance. From Sara Benincasa: Suck at stuff. Fuck up. Fall down. Get rejected. Get shut down. Get passed over. What the fuck else are you doing with your time? Imagining possible failures? Why not turn that potential into a reality? At least you can say you went for it.
I would very much like to be in my home. I have been out for 10 years now, for various reason. If that happens, it will improve my life tremendously. The advice that will carry me through is; Be present and stay focused on your goals.
Focus on a happy life, do not focus on filling it with material goods.
I would like to continue developing my skills as a parent to K while deepening the intimacy and experience with Annie. I will also be developing organizational and writing skills for the book. I have joined Plymouth and Annie and I are engaged. These will be two sources of advice and council for me in the coming year.
Be a boss. Have extreme ownership. Be present. live the life now you will be proud of in 10 years, and don't look at the low points as failure in the moments, but stepping stones to get there.
This upcoming year it is my prayer that Adonai will help me not become provoked in my spirit. When I get provoked I always sin. I pray that Adonai will help me to not take offense, like at all - even when someone's sole purpose is to poke me to get me going. I pray that Adonai will help me to take a step back before I speak, answer or react in any way and to pray for His guidance, seeking His wisdom on the matter first. He might be doing something, and if He is - what is His expectation? I pray that God would help me to learn how to share my faith, increase my boldness but by the power of His Spirit and Him giving me the words to speak. Apart from Him I can do nothing. I pray that Adonai helps me to have healthy boundaries, the wisdom to know what they should be, the strength to say no and to say yes when I should (should in His sight), I lift up the ministry He has given me, please increase my faithfulness and put my heart into the ministry, else move me to the ministry where I will be most devoted. I need to have healthy boundaries with work and home too. That Adonai would teach me what to do in all things. The things in which my dreams and my heart are being tugged at, that His will would be done flawlessly and in its entirety despite my weakness and the ways in which I tend to pull away.
I would like to be happier with my life and more comfortable. I still feel like large chunks of my life are defined by what I have lost, what isn't there. While a lot of it feels like loneliness and missing companionship or connection, I am hesitant to search for that if only because I feel so incomplete and at loose ends- simply companionship couldn't make me feel that much better. I guess my advice for this year would be to cut myself some slack. Be patient. Be kind.
Probably the best piece of advice I've ever received is: "There will be plenty of time to clean the house when the kids are gone." But, that's really hard to live by. What I do want to be able to do, like I said in #6, is to just develop the systems to at least get the bare minimum done: kids fed, house not a total disaster, clothes clean, so I can slow down and enjoy being with my kids while they still enjoy being with me. :)
Find the joy in every day. The recent decision of a friend to end his life has driven this point home. He was not well, Alzheimer's was stealing him away from himself, and he opted to "not become a burden" by ending his life. His widow tearfully shared with us that she had urged him to "Find the joy in every day" but that he just couldn't seem to see any joy in his future. I realize I am blessed in so many ways. Shelter, food, good health, family, happiness -- all of the great things of life. And yet, there are days when I am grumpy and complaining. That achieves nothing. So, to improve my life in the coming year, I want to "Find the Joy in Every Day." I want to consciously look for joy, even in the roughest times. I realize that can be challenging at times, but I believe that finding joy is a way to make life continue to be worth living.
I would like to make healthy eating part of my lifestyle. I would like to be more patient with Douglas. I would like to work on my marriage.
Improve my health, lose some weight, stand up for myself in both professional and personal lives. Best advice on these two fronts came from my Granddad ("If you think you're gonna do it, and you say you're gonna do it, bloody well do it") and my mum ("No one else will blow your trumpet for you, you've got to get out there yourself").
It wasn't a great year for advice. I would like to be in a better position professionally. Right now things aren't bad, but they are awkward. I'd like over the next year to work that out.
As to retirement, some have said not to over plan before hand; others said that sitting around doing nothing is not healthy. What people meant about not to over plan, is to allow yourself to follow your wishes and what pleases you without committing to something in the long term.
I need to focus on my natural strengths and not allow my conservatism to hinder my progress. There has not been anything specific other than confidence shown in me by some peers.
I'd like to quit smoking. All I have to do is look at family members who have been destroyed by it for reminders.
Physically is perhaps the loudest. I want my strength and endurance back, I want to look better and feel better. My cancer drugs have taken a toll and I want to take back control. I need to start being and believing in the healthy badass version of me, and push away the narrative of me as weak and sickly and in pain. It doesn't serve me any longer.
yes - 2 pieces "all will be well" and F**k the be-grudgers some others will always be unhappy, or jealous or whatever and you should ignore it and focus on the positive of yourself.
I think I have two things. One is not to stretch myself too thin, because I tend to. And the other is to not be so hard on myself. I feel like I'm trying to be everything to everyone, and it's hard not to feel this way. I feel like I have to step up and be the matriarch, but I'm not, and I don't know how to be, and when I'm not successful I'm left in a corner and crying. I think these two things come hand in hard, because I want perfection, and I have to know that I can't obtain it.
I'd like to feel a year's worth of more comfortable with myself than now. As long as I follow on my path of recovery no doubt I will. On reading my answer to this from last year... I was successful in that. I have grown and changed so much in the past year (on paper it's easier to tell.. emotionally it's more difficult to see sometimes) I only hope I continue to do that. I hope I find the motivation to strengthen my friendships-- improve on my ability to reach out to others and participate in social activities. Last year I wrote about acceptance-- and how I hoped I can accept myself and my body, the way I look, by now. I realize that process is more involved than I hope. Still something I'm working on. I need to face some of that baggage before it eats me. I want to improve my time management, my ability to learn (I haven't read books in a while, I haven't been in school for years). I get nervous about my ability to handle it and should seek advice and actually use it... (i.e what I just wrote about reaching out).
I would like to be healthier in the next year. I lost a lot of weight last year, but I feel like while I tried to do it healthily, a lot of it came off very quickly and I let it because I liked how I looked. Now that I am stabler, I would like to be more in control of my weight loss and my healthy eating habits. It will make it much sweeter when I finally hit my goal. Advice-wise, I think I gave my friend Barbara good advice last Yom Kippur that I should listen to myself: just take it one meal at a time, and don't let it spiral.
I need to slow down. I always react immediately. If I can take a moment to think and react calmly, I'll get better results and have an easier time convincing people that what I want is right. This applies to work mostly, but very much so to my fiance as well. It will make everyone happier if I don't react so forcefully and with so much emotion to every tiny stupid thing. Even if I still believe what I'm saying is correct, there are better ways for me to explain myself.
I would like to be a better listener this year when it isn't related to work. Sometimes I feel like I listen to other people all day that I am not as attentive to my partner as I would like to be. "Talk less, smile more."
Not looking to improve myself, she lazily answered. I would like to be more relaxed, less stressed, and better able to just enjoy life on a daily basis. What would contribute to making that possible? Retiring, which I don't think I will do in the next year. Having my children be more settled and secure, which is largely out of my hands at this point. Having our financial situation clarified and planned out, which I (we?) seem to talk about and talk about but not take action on.
Be more confident in the person you are. Try and be less anxious in social situations as you are a good, kind, giving person, and people should be able to see that from a first impression. Be the best version of yourself that you can be.
Yes. A wise elder advised me to argue less. I want to work on this. Specifically, to reduce my emotional reactions to my husband and let his inflammatory political rhetoric roll off my back. We have wildly divergent political opinions on some issues and I can't stand the thought of going through another election cycle with him. I really need to figure this out and calm down.
When I have decided to make time for something--to do just that-give it time. Even if the paper remains blank for the allotted time I have given....it will have been that time honored. It will not be wasted time. It will not be idle time. It might be difficult. I have spent much of my time struggling with difficulty. Its' something I know how to do. And experience tells me that the universe will meet me half-way with uncanny synchronous gestures and messages cheering me on......
relax a bit more, smell the roses and participate in stuff that gives pleasure, helps and assists others and gives back somehow
I wish there was - I feel like I have backslid, or slid sideways, in the last year. I am much more precious of my alone time (that is, at home with my wife and not a lot going on), and find it much more of an effort to go out and do stuff, or socialise. I am not motivated to accomplish anything creative or constructive, apart from home maintenance, which is mostly motivated by irritation that things have broken. On the plus side, I recently found some better descriptions of the Myers-Briggs personalities, and I found the description of INFP meaningful and consoling. The challenge in accepting this as my Freudian horoscope is to build with it, and not use it as an excuse for inaction.
I want to be more focused on doing what makes me happy and to vocalize my needs. "Just say something" is the advice I will take this year. Also I will try to work on what being bisexual means to me.
I would like to stop stress eating. I would like to have more discipline and set a better example to my kids about taking care of myself. My friend Jacqui told me to be kind to myself.
New Eyes, New Windows, New Doors I. Only Don’t Know i take my glasses off it is the hard edge of things i am avoiding the separations so that i take my glasses off and then i cannot tell which are the leaves and which the angels like blake like that man who lived with lepers not noticing what was sin and what was grace visioning visions vision i take my glasses off so i can see . . . Lucille Clifton The Antioch Review, October 1, 2011 As I grew to value literature more and more deeply, I of course wanted to share what I was discovering with my students. But, alas, I ran into a quagmire. Literature, as Donald Hall has written – is often both ambivalent and ambiguous. If, he continues, a particular work of literature seems to contradict itself, that is because life itself often seems to contradict itself. When I read that, light bulbs sparked inside my head like exclamation points! “Bingo!” I thought. “Right on, Donald Hall!” But when I shared that understanding with my students as both a piece of wisdom and as a way to underscore my conviction that there is no one “right” way to interpret a piece of literature, many would look at me dumbfounded, then bring me drop slips, wanting to get out of the course. “But why?’’ I’d ask them. And they’d tell me: “I came to college to get answers… if you don’t have any, this is the wrong class for me to be in.” Slowly it occurred to me that many 18, 19, 20 year olds are not going to be interested in the things I was increasingly fascinated by. And I do understand! It is hard enough for me to learn to live in a place of not knowing --- a notion that threatens my culturally re-inforced male need to have answers, to be able to discover solutions, to not have to ask for directions! For me, “only don’t know” also implies looking with new eyes out of new windows -- of not getting caught in the trap of assuming that things are the way they have always seemed to me to be. To live with ambiguity encourages me to look at things from new angles, to see what might be revealed. It provides new doors into attention and opportunities to embrace mystery and wonder. When I was growing up I learned that men,( if not all “successful” grown ups ), needed to be in control – of their lives, their emotions, their surroundings. And so I do understand how difficult it is to hear David Wagoner say, in his poem “Lost,” “Stand still, The forest knows where you are. You must let it find you…” or Mark Nepo when he writes: “ It’s true, . . . . The only way to listen to what can never be said is to quiet our need to steer the plot.” Which is, perhaps a different slant on something I read recently in Krista Tippet’s wonderful new book, Becoming Wise, in which Rabbi Jonathan Sacks speaking about what he calls the “Dignity of Differences” asserts that “to be true to yourself is a blessing to others.” Indeed, he states, it is only “the authentic, the unique, the different that enriches the human experience for others.” Or, in the lingo of St. Mary’s College Students, what I treasure them to mean with their slogan, “Keep St. Mary’s Weird.” Growing up I had no way of understanding that sweet boy, Mikey, as having any kind of gift. No “Dignity of Differences” for him – he had to be the ACE left-handed pitcher, the captain of the team, the star running back on the football squad, the fearless defensive lineman, the president of the student council. When I was just being that sweet little child, “Mikey,” I felt something was wrong with me – I might have felt fine when I was all by myself, but when I was in the presence of others I knew I must be “weird, ” that I was not in sync with the expectations others had of me. There was, in my world then, no vocabulary for being my authentic or genuine self – I was taught to judge my own success by how others saw me – and in retrospect, wanting others’ approval is something that also impacted my parenting. Of Course, but Be Careful Dear It took three years to teach my son not to say that things or people were weird. “Unusual, Daniel, or different,” I’d repeat over and over to his 9 then 10, then 11 year ears trying, I thought, to help him value differences, understand the importance of courtesy, instill some fears perhaps, and failing all else, teach the propriety of lies, as one gets on in years. Here in England, where language sounds more musical to my ear, our baby-sitter punctuates her sentences with weird: “It was so weird” she says, or “isn’t it weird…” I am older than when I was young enough to believe I could change how things appear. I listen more, talk less, am more apt to feel unsure. My daughter picks up sounds with a poet’s ear, intones words like “hauf pawst” and phrases like “Deddie would it be all right if I popped out for a bit?” She does not say “weird,” has learned her ways around my aging ears, the well phrased lie gets her what she wants and I reply, repressing other fears, “of course, but be careful, dear.” . . . msg “To be nobody-but-yourself, “ wrote e. e. cummings, “ - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” When I was in my teens and 20’s – Maybe even my 30’s and 40’s – I loved that quotation. I understood it, it spoke to my experience. I loved imagining myself a fighter ( a very manly thing!), but what could I understand then, of the powerful and far more subtle wisdom in Juan Ramon Jimenez’s poem, “I am not I.” I am Not I I am not I. I am this one walking beside me who I do not see, who at times I manage to visit, and who at other times I forget; the one who remains silent while I talk, the one who forgives, gently, when I hate, the one who takes a walk when I am indoors, the one who will remain standing when I die. …. Juan Ramon Jiménez translation, Robert Bly / adaptation, Michael S. Glaser When I spend time preparing a “face to meet the faces that I meet” as T.S. Eliot has called it, I become distracted and turn away from the gifts my authentic self has to offer. II. The Rabbit Hole of Distraction I have not freed myself from my desire -- in the vernacular of our culture -- to “be a man.” Nor have I freed myself from my father’s expectations, nor from my mother’s constant and barbed praise – “You’re maturing so nicely, young man.” But I am working on it. -- A more constructive way of putting that might be to say I am working on embracing wonder and mystery. I am working on being O.K. with not knowing, I am working on experiencing what it means “to be still.” I remain overly obsessed with doing – with multi-tasking (which a colleague defines as “being able to screw up several things at the same time”). I am still wanting to fix things, still treasuring the opportunity to be involved in things I think are important, and, alas, still wanting to impress others. What I have begun to notice, however, is that when I finish one task, instead of pausing to get in touch with where I am or what might be calling to me, instead of taking even a moment to breathe deeply --- I dive into the rabbit holes of distraction: I check my e-mail, my cellphone, look to see if there are any new pictures of my grandchildren on Instagram. And I find – especially with e-mail – that there are distractions upon distractions – click here to learn more about … or to see the latest on …. or to discover…. Often it will be 20 – 30 minutes until I come out of the rabbit hole, tired, restless, usually annoyed and stirred up about something or other that this environmental group or that political group, or this charity or that call-to-conscious wants me to be so upset about that I will send them money that I don’t have. . . And that upsets me too! In short, instead of taking 5 or 10 minutes to be still, so that I might notice what is going on in me – I dive into a rabbit hole of distraction and engage in the addiction of clicking on my mouse to see what outrageous thing Donald said today, or what is on sale at Land’s End, to print out a coupon from Bed Bath and Beyond or take a poll that always ends up being a ploy to ask for money. When I finally tell myself I’d best get back to work, I am depleted and often both a little depressed and disgusted with myself for having lost all that time. And when I reflect on it, I realize that what I had done was leave my own world to enter a world someone who is not me hoped I would enter. And how often I do that. Even the telephone can be a rabbit hole, and I treasure the teachings of Tich Nhat Hahn who encourages us, when the phone rings, to think of it as a call to mindfulness, to hear it as though it were a Buddhist’s bell, and recite, as he does, the phrase – “Listen, Listen, the sound of the bell brings me home to my own true self .” I sometimes wonder if my DNA has been reprogramed to discourage me from paying attention to me. oh pray that what we want,” wrote Lucille Clifton in her poem, “we are running..” pray that what we want is worth this running, pray that what we're running toward is what we want. ~ Lucille Clifton ~ I tried, a short while back, to put my own sense of this into a poem: The Busy World If we would think with our hearts and feel with our brains we would be much healthier.” . . . /Grace Cavalieri In this busy world, I would like to know it is O.K. not to finish things. I would like to wake up at night and not want to know what time it is. I would like to go to meetings and not bring my computer I would like to look into every face I pass instead of checking my cell phone for messages. * * * When will we take the earbuds out of our ears and listen again for the owl calling into the night, or the voice of our angels? When will we stop going to retreats because they offer us life-changing experiences that we don’t have time to do anything about? How might we remember to stand on the edge of the mountain and simply breathe in the wonder of it all? When will our bones stop aching? When will we learn to write “I” instead of “we? when will I? .. . . msg “Interruptions are both mandatory and nourishing” a very wise women said to me once, but I think that in today’s electronic world, there are two types of interruptions, and one is neither mandatory nor nourishing. The good interruptions however,– the ones that disrupt what I think I know—almost always confront me with new possibilities. And Wendell Berry, as he so often does, captures this with near perfection in his poem, “My Song.” My Song I go among the trees and sit still. All my stirring becomes quiet around me like circles on water. My tasks lie in their places where I left them, asleep like cattle. Then what is afraid of me comes and lives for a while in my sight. What it fears in me leaves me, and the fear of me leaves it. It sings, and I hear its song. Then what I am afraid of comes. I live for a while in its sight. What I fear in it leaves it, and the fear of it leaves me. It sings, and I hear its song. After days of labor, mute in my consternations, I hear my song at last, and I sing it. As we sing, the day turns, the trees move. . . . . Wendell Berry A Timbered Choir: The Sabbath Poems 1979-1997 Remembering who I am, in a world that does its best to get me to dive into another rabbit hole, is no easy task, and I find Stanley Kunitz’s wonderful poem, “Touch Me” helpful. Touch Me Summer is late, my heart. Words plucked out of the air some forty years ago when I was wild with love and torn almost in two scatter like leaves this night of whistling wind and rain. It is my heart that's late, it is my song that's flown. Outdoors all afternoon under a gunmetal sky staking my garden down I kneeled to the crickets trilling underfoot as if about to burst from their crusty shells; and like a child again marveled to hear so clear and brave a music pour from such a small machine. What makes the engine go? Desire, desire, desire. The longing for the dance stirs in the buried life. One season only, and it's done. So let the battered old willow thrash against the windowpanes and the house timbers creak. Darling, do you remember the man you married? Touch me remind me who I am. . . . Stanley Kunitz ****************************** III: Discovering the Delight of Listening and Asking Questions “Ring the bell that still can ring” writes Leonard Cohen, there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” So, I tell myself, it’s not about the desire to be right, to have the answers, to be able to fix things or “to put a wrap” on things. Rather, it’s about the Dignity of Differences, it’s about ringing my own bell, despite the cracks of my humanness, it’s about singing my own sing. I think Lucille Clifton spoke eloquently about this when she said: “ I don’t write because I have a mission to heal the world. My mission is to heal Lucille, if I can, as much as I can. And what I know is that I am not the only one like me who has felt this. And so if it heals others as well, that’s gravy and I’m pleased. But my main thing is for me not to fall into despair, which I have done on occasion and could again. Lucille urged us to pay attention, to keep alert for the knocking on our doors that lead to new insights and truths. Conversely, to succeed in the manly act of being right, for me at least, is to discover again and again the truth of what Yehuda Amichai speaks of in his poem, “ The Place Where We Are Right” -- a truth I have yet to absorb The Place Where We Are Right From the place where we are right flowers will never grow in the Spring. The place where we are right is hard and trampled like a yard. But doubts and loves dig up the world like a mole, a plough. And a whisper will be heard in the place where the ruined house once stood. . . . .Yehuda Amichai I discover that it is helpful to read, listen, even write in a way that enables me to remain uncommitted to what I think I know, to pay attention and listen with curiosity, to respond with genuine questions rather than an anxiousness to show off what I imagine I know. And so the questions: How can I keep my eyes and spirit open to the door behind which something “is furiously knocking? and How can I make sure I am paying attention? And an old friend of a poem comes back to visit and open my ears anew: The Journey One day you finally knew what you had to do and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice – though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. “Mend my life!” each voice cried. But you didn’t stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do – determined to save the only life you could save. . . . . Mary Oliver Perhaps, at 73, it is time to recognize that the world will go on, willy nilly, as it always has, without me; to understand that I can always listen anew, and from a different angle to what Mary Oliver just might be wanting me to hear when she wrote in her poem, “When Death Comes:” When death comes . . . I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering; what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness? When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. ~ Mary Oliver ~ “Truly,” she writes, in “Mysteries, Yes,” Truly we live with mysteries too marvelous to be understood…. Let me keep my distance, always, from those who think they have the answers. Let me keep company always with those who say “Look!” and laugh in astonishment, and bow their heads.” Oliver writes, I think, less about death than about the powerful invitation to living that an attentive and particular life can offer -- much like what I find Jeanne Lohmann to urge in her poem, “Praise What Comes.” Praise What Comes surprising as unplanned kisses, all you haven't deserved of days and solitude, your body's immoderate good health that lets you work in many kinds of weather. Praise talk with just about anyone. And quiet intervals, books that are your food and your hunger; nightfall and walks before sleep. Praising these for practice, perhaps you will come at last to praise grief and the wrongs you never intended. At the end there may be no answers and only a few very simple questions: did I love, finish my task in the world? Learn at least one of the many names of God? At the intersections, the boundaries where one life began and another ended, the jumping-off places between fear and possibility, at the ragged edges of pain, did I catch the smallest glimpse of the holy? . . . Jeanne Lohmann
I would like to try to improve myself by becoming more active outside again, and to connect nature to spirituality. I have been a cynic for much of my life and I'd like to try to let that go.
I'm hoping to integrate all the aspects of myself into 1 consistently loving, patient, generous person. I have been attempting to compartmentalize areas of my life to keep them separate, mutually exclusive, but that only causes frustration and disappointment. I want to allow myself to be all the roles I fulfill at the same time. Maybe that will bring an enhanced sense of peace and well-being.
Again, I need to improve my temper. It's better than it was, but not as good as it should be.
I would like to get rid of the clutter in my house. I would like to get a handle on my health and my weight. I would like to have my finances organized and working for me, for us, in the way I believe it should be. I've gotten good counsel from my friends and others and I just have to find the motivation to take their advice
I want to trust myself more and go for my dreams. I want to keep them front and center in my life and stay focused. I know that I can accomplish anything that I will commit to with my full heart.
I've been told to give myself the grace I extend to others when they're having a hard time. I'd like to learn to love myself fully, even while I'm struggling. I know in my mind that I'm doing the best I can, but I forget to cut myself slack when something comes out less-than-perfect. I give others grace, now I need to give it to myself.
More meditation. Even if 10 minutes a day. More generosity. More mindfulness! More mindful eating!
Positive self talk
I would like to practice disciplined creativity. I would lie to learn to lean into what scares me, breathe into the hurt, feel the hurt and still keep my heart open.
Here are some pieces of advice I got yesterday while running: --Happy Trails! --After you! --You know what? You've always been afraid of being bored. But boredom is actually fear of hating on yourself for not changing into something new and improved. It isn't necessarily boring to run the same path over and over, if you are okay with the person who is running, who is you.
I don't know. Of course I want to improve myself and my life, and one way I do this is to continue to learn whatever interests me. I think this is an unanswerable question. What happens is what happens. I don't make resolutions. I guess if I were to pick something it would be to finally, after 15 years of chronic back pain, actually recover and start hiking again. That would be huge.
Commit more to my spiritual practice, and take stronger steps toward my goals. I feel like I neglect these things and myself because I am so focused on being a mother and surviving.
I would like to establish an exercise habit, Going to bed earlier and waking earlier, Take a leap and start a company, So far the only real counsel I've recieved, is to be more organized.
I want to have more faith. Last year, one of my resolutions was to be brave, but this user I'd like to make these more specific and allow myself to have faith and trust in the world. I want to feel it in my body. Giving birth helped me feel trust in the world in my body, but it's weaker and weaker as I move away. It will happen again this year, in June, but I can't depend on an extraordinary event to get myself to trust for the rest of my life. I'm finding the half-life isn't so strong.
Every year, I think about becoming healthier and every year my health does not get worse. Which is not the same as getting healthier. Every year, I try to relax more, not take things so seriously, be focused in the moment. And I have gotten so that I can do that most of the time. I am grateful for these annual opportunities to take stock of my life, but I am not foolish enough to think that "this will be the year that I… " Probably the best advice I heard this year is "you can't fix everything." Or maybe it was "Life's short." Regardless, I will strive to be my best self, my kind self, as much as I can this year.
Again, I want to improve myself by not blaming others for my misery and mistakes. I need to learn to stop portraying myself as the victim of every negative circumstance that happens in my life. I would like to start to take responsibility not only for my actions, but for the way I think as well. I need to stop holding grudges against people from my past as well. I discovered last year that I have a few traits of borderline personality disorder, and it's been very difficult to accept it. But with the resources out there, I know that I can work on myself to have a more stable mindset. I've also had a repeated history of putting myself down and beating myself up over and over after making mistakes. I would like to be kinder towards myself and begin to love myself for who I am. "Don't take like too seriously." This advice could guide me towards a less stressful life. I still don't have everything figured out in my life, but I can start living in the moment and not worry too much about what I'll do or where I'll be later on in life.
I would like this year to be all about focus and being practical. I get too sensitive and emotional and prevent myself from forward motion. I let my various and diverse passions and interests spread me so thin I don't feel like I achieve anything.
I want to have a robust spiritual life and have a regular self-care practice. There are two passages from Pirkei Avot that come to mind: If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when? Do not say, "When I free myself from my obligations, then I will study." What if you never free yourself?
Succeed in stepping back, not being in charge, and having time to read books and play games. keep with my goal of one new country and one new state annually.
I want to improve my health through nutrition. I want to start grad school. I want to take a new step with Jeff and move in together.
Oooh... lots of things... back to the gym. Improve my French. Write more - a lot more. Look into doctoral work (again). Have I received guidance about this? No... I probably would benefit from some!
I would like to start meditating more. I am a better, kinder person when I meditate more. My teacher's advice just do it everyday applies here.
I want to make a habit of staying on top of housekeeping type things. It's a way of loving those I live with.
I think this was pretty much answered in the prior question, but more in a work scenario. I want to be better, I want to grow and I want to become a better person. Not only next year, but every single day. I see things more clear than ever. I've come across someone who has helped put things into a more detailed perspective. I received some amazing advice from this person. Everything that has led me until this point I'm in now, I understand. My potential for the future is fully up to me. I don't need to make a jump, I just need to slow down and live in the moment. I know I will continue to get better everyday, but there's no rush in doing that. I've written out a plan, I know where I'm going to be. I'm inspired by this person and I've surrounded myself with equals who are driven just as I am. Not will I only succeed, but we will all succeed together. My voice needs to be heard and WILL be heard. I have great ideas and I'm a problem solver. I know I will become better in groups because if I don't speak out then they'll never know.
I've learned a great deal about relationships, love, and what it means to share your life. I'm proud of this new knowledge and I want to implement it in any future relationships or situations I find myself in. I need to trust myself more and stand up for myself more in the future.
I would like work to have less of an impact on my life and my emotions. I feel like it dictates so many of the decisions I make in my life, and is the primary driver of how I am feeling most of the time. I'd like my job to be more separate from my life, or at least to not have it feel like I can't do things that I want to do because of my job.
I want to continue to meditate every day, which I have been doing since May and meditating since the beginning of the year. I want to continue to exercise which means at a minimum walking my 70,000 steps a week. I want to spend more time focused on how I am spending my time, and less time focused on my financial circumstances.
Being present in each moment has become an ideal to me. I need help to do this. Some sort of lessons or guide would be helpful. I've ordered a book on mindfulness. I'm hoping it will help me to be more positive and on control of my impulses.
“Be yourself; no base imitator of another, but your best self. There is something which you can do better than another. Listen to the inward voice and bravely obey that. Do the things at which you are great, not what you were never made for.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance and Other Essays
I want to travel more, connect with the world. Finish my third novel. Enter more screenplay contests. Continue to enrich my relationship with my college sweetheart, the woman of my dreams. If I'm pipe-dreaming, I'd like to have both a literary and acting agent keeping me busy.
I want to think a bit more before I react, and try to self-soothe when necessary. Just to remember that things might indeed be bad, but I don't need to have a swift or extreme reaction, nor do I need to get things done/say things RIGHT NOW. A bit more patience would help me a lot.
Take more time for me. Recharge and nurture myself. Reconnect with my own sexuality.
I would like to lose weight and lose my fear of revealing my true feelings for whenever I have a crush on a woman. I plan to compete in the World Transplant Games, so I better get in shape for that, right? As for women, I'm almost 25 and never told a woman my true feelings for her to her face. Usually they figure it out and say I'm not interested (which is understandable), or stop talking to me, or at worst, abuse a family member (yes, this really happened, but this was over 10 years ago, never forgot though). I want to be more confident around women, and this is one of my biggest fears in life that I have yet to conquer, so we'll see what happens!
Spend less money and spend more time.
I think I would like to improve myself by being more compationate and less punitive. I have never found that I like myself if I just want to punish someone.
Leap and the net will appear. More intentional. Take risks. Be bold!!
I would like to feel much more at peace with my love life no matter what happens. I need to break up with someone and it's very unnatural for me. I need to have strength knowing that it will be better once I do it. I'll be sad but he can't give me what I need and I've stayed with him simply because I've invested in him. My friends are right though. If I actually obtained what I needed from him, I probably wouldn't like it that much. He is kind of boring and not on my level. He just doesn't even get it and he's never at fault. In fact, he makes feel that my feelings are of very little importance. That's not okay. I'm not sure why it's so hard for me to let go. Even now, I'm a little anxious that he hasn't texted me to let me know that he got home okay. I need to start no just listening to my friends' advice. I need to put it into action.
I want to stop lying. I hate that I lie so easily and so often. Most of the time it's not even necessary; I just do it. It's time to stop.
Yes, I must try and not to offend anyone. Even though I enjoy being direct and outspoken, I must remember who my audience is.
Be kind and gentle to yourself and remember that all those around you are human and deserving of love.
My best girlfriend Elisabeth asked me if I had ever spent time getting to know myself. Not getting to know my relationships with others (friends, family, romantic interests, etc.), but my relationship with myself; what I truly like and value, how I see myself and what I like and dislike about that person, what could be better and in what ways. I think that is an excellent notion and I realize I did that in my early twenties, but not so much as I've grown and changed into the thirty-four-year-old mother that I now am. I would like to improve my life by figuring out just who I am now.
By this time next year, I hope to have come out to my family and be living a little more calmly with my bisexuality. Right now it seems like everything is changing a mile a minute and I have to keep this new identity front-of-mind to try to figure it out. By next year, I hope it is more incorporated into the fabric of life. I also hope to be more mindful. I hope that I will have developed the skill of really "being where I am" and not rushing around in my brain so much/always leaping forward to the next thing, no matter how busy I am.
The advice: keep it simple.
I want to be less anxious and let go of obsessive thoughts.addictions.
I want to have a job I enjoy more and that uses my brian. But ultimately i want to gain new skills and savings that will help me retire in time to enjoy my good health. Best advice is to understand that there will be losses no mater what, and when they occur it's best to roll wth the punches and not beat myself up too much about them, as see them as unavoidable rather than a failure on my part. Move on.
I spent 2 years doing things I wan't excited about doing in my marriage. I think the advice I have for myself is to only do the things I genuinely want to do. I also think that i should not get intimidated by demands and figure out how to call them out so I'm not reactive.
I would like to improve myself and my life next year by continuing to introspect but to really take the actions to build stronger muscles in parts of me that are most important. The piece of advice I received in the past year is that everything I do I am continuing to do in order to serve myself. There is a reason I am doing it. Rather than punish or get angry or make it wrong, really understand that.
My life is very good in most respects. I would like to improve my writing, but I don't really know how to do that, other than by continuing to write, and to read.
I'd like to make a friend.
I'd like to improve my ability to honor my parents, not just to their face but also behind their back. My best advice on this comes from me, I just wish I was better at following it -- to remember that they are doing their best, even if their best is bad.
I want to be able to build better relationships next year. I want to be closer with friends, and other young professionals.
I want to become better at follow-through. I have an almost dangerous talent for imagining new projects, but I'm less good at following through, especially when these efforts involve working with others, as my work so often does. I overload myself, so that I then struggle to do all the things I want to do, and what most often falls through the cracks is the follow up -- the phone call or email to find out how things are working for a colleague or friend, getting a next meeting on the calendar, offering help to keep something going.
I would like to continue loosing weight and improving my physical strength and stamina. I would also like to find more time for mindful meditation.
I'd like to continue to heal my physical body over this next year. The advice from my new cardiologist when he told me I could heal my heart and my blood by eating a plant-based diet is the best advice I heard all year. To find a Western doctor who believes in the same way I do that we have the ability to heal our bodies ourselves was inspirational, to say the least.
I would like to become more empathetic in this coming year. I make decisions with logic before emotion and while that works for me, it doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes I have a hard time emotionally connecting to another person or event and I'd like to get better at that. This past year my mentor, Hilly, gave advice to another one of our staff members that I loved: "If what I'm saying does not benefit [the teen] then I don't say it. If it isn't going to help them, or teach them then I don't need to share." That piece of advice really meant to me, that if you aren't doing something that is helpful to another person, then you should think twice about doing it or saying it. And that, to me, is the beginning of empathy.
Quit smoking and exercise. Get off your ass!
I want to have a better relationship with myself. To be less judgmental of myself, less critical, less despairing and hopeless. I want to learn how to have a better relationship with my body too, and how to look after myself in ways that are healthy and sustainable. There's so much advice... but following it is difficult sometimes. I want, I suppose, to grow to be less vulnerable or susceptible to what other people think or say or do with regards to me.
I'd like to use my time better, prosxcrastinate less, eat better, and work less in time consuming chores that do not sum up in my life.
The medication I take often impacts the way I respond. Although I am very careful outside of my home, I am not as careful with my family, and especially my husband. I would like to be as careful and considerate in my preppies at home, as I try to be outside. It is challenging, since I allow myself the luxury of feeling the most fatigued at home (where i am not "on"). It will be especially challenging as my husband goes through his myeloma treatment and begins feeling a similar kind of fatigue. i try to live by the serenity Prayer: God give me the strength to change the things I can, patience to accept the things i can't and the wisdom to know the difference.
It sounds simple but thinking before I speak, and being more aware of my words.
Be kind to yourself. You're already taking care of others with TLC. I would like to be a good parent without losing my cool or allow my childhood of angered parenting to influence my decisions with my toddler.
I would like to be more organised. I would like to gain greater financial clout.
I'd like to be more open to new experiences. Perhaps open isn't the right word. Maybe more flexible? Forgiving? Easy? I can resist things pretty heartily sometimes, for no good reason. I have an inner crankiness that I fight against. Raleigh likes to tell me to do this. I'm not always good at listening, because, you know, I don't like being told what to do. ;)
Demand that people bring their best, authentic selves to their work. Accept nothing less.
I would like to really own that I am enough. That I am lovable and successful just as I am. There is nothing to prove. To practice self forgiveness and self compassion as a habit. And to recognize when my ego is at play. A great prayer that my sister told me to help with this is the Change Me Prayer: Let me release my karma with (name of person) by forgiving (him/her/them) and myself. Free me from anger and resentment. You (Spirit/Universe/God) alone are my complete source for (abundance/love/happiness/security etc.). My (finances/relationships/projects/legal matters etc.) are fully wrapped in divine order.
Get over failed relationships. "Love is blind but the neighbors aren't. "
I would like to be more healthy. Not just physically active (because that is hard for me, given how bad my back is) but healthy. That will take a lot of work with a multiple specialists and a repulsive amount of money, but it will be worth while.
This goes along with Question 6. I don't have much more to say about it. The only thing I would add is that in addition to all the things I mentioned - I want to know more about what I am doing with work. I think that goes along with my deeper understanding...but I will put it here as a reminder. I had a epiphany since I wrote the last paragraph. I want to add a piece of advice. First, that I matter. Second, that I am not responsible or other people. Third, that I am not responsible for Heidi. Fourth, that Heidi is NOT my mother. If I can remember these things going into next year I will achieve my goals.
I have been told to be more assertive. I didnt quit understand what that meant until recently.maybe i still dont.i had always been very cold and hard.nothing and noone affected me years ago and I knew that needed ro change bc I saw that that hurt people i loved.The words i would say were careless,flippant,untamed.so i started looking at why people were giving me attitude.i then realized it was me(duh).and then i looked at the 'why' i acted the way i did and at the value of mankind.as in who I was hurting and what it was that made me want to hurt them.I realized that every person has hurt along the line and I was a contributing factor.Words have the ability to bring LIFE OR DEATH.I could either choose to bring one or the other to the value of man. Digging into my own value,I became heartbroken at the way I had acted my entire life & now I am the opposite of assertive and I cant seem to find a middle ground.that is,I generally tend to give the benefit of the doubt more often than not,unable to speak my mind,figuring that there is a logical explanation for someone to behave the way they behave.in that.so being assertive(not harsh) would be an awesome attribute i would like to continue to work on.
I wish not to feel so bitter about other people's accomplishments and happiness.
I want to continue working on self compassion, boundaries, self-care, understanding myself, loving myself, trying to heal myself. I want to encourage myself, and remind myself of something I remember to tell others, but often forget to remind myself. And that is that healing is almost never linear. Healing often involves relapses, losing progress, two steps back. But it's about choosing to get up and keep moving forward. Knowing you will fall back again and knowing also that you will move forward in spite of this. You're getting somewhere. :) Love you.
I'd like to lose some weight so that I am healthier. Mindful eating habits & MyFitness Pal for calorie tracking help.
Not sure about this one. I guess I hope that I continue to fight for what I believe in. This may mean calling in others when I see or hear things being said or done that I don't think are right, fair, or just. Sometimes I get scared to stand up and say something. I hope I find strength to do this more often in the next year.
I would say that my life is consistently about self-improvement. I have a daily practice that includes meditation, gratitude, working out, leading a fitness challenge, and trying to do the next right thing or that which is right in front of me. I would like to continue to be a good mother to a son who is about to be 21 and learn how to allow him to find his way as he becomes a full fledged adult, yet be there as a source of wisdom, strength, and guidance. I would love to become a better salsa performer. My commitment wavered this year when my mom was going through all her surgeries this year. But, I have fun with it, especially when I learn the routine and have it down. Almost there for this season! I want to continue to be disciplined with my money and learn all there is to know for where I am at with becoming debt free. I want to grow in the company I'm with. I haven't applied myself as much as I know I could, but I am turning it around. I want to become a better friend. Not necessarily to many, but to a few. I want to become healthier, lose some body fat and become a lean, strong, person. I'm getting there as well.
I would like to work at finding a more common ground between what I think I want and my behaviors. Rather than wishing that I ate healthy food, I should just eat healthy food. The flip side is that I need to be okay with how I act. It's not a mortal sin to like some hearty beef stew. The biggest thing that this applies to is my academic work. Assuming that I truly want to pursue a job in academia I need to move that effort forward. I need to stop distracting myself and make my desires come true.
Meditation. When I've been consistent it's been a great source of healing. Then I miss a day or two and I'm off the trail.
I want to continue to lose the "baby weight" and Celexa pounds. I would like to feel physically like myself by next year. I want to kick academic ass at school and be open to making new friends there. I want to stick with my monthly hikes, that has been hugely helpful for my mental well being. Basically I want to make sure I take care of my needs, which is challenging with the two young kiddos.
Continue to make space for the people who I lead, to hold them up and enable them to become leaders.
I would like to continue on the path of radical DE-CLUTTERING. Getting rid of items, things, ideas, people that no longer serve my highest good, I know by clearing, cleaning, editing and being mindful of what I eat, how my surroundings look, where I focus attention on and how I allow or not allow things to pile up will be my path to peace, productivity and freedom and further will bring me joy which is the magnet of manifestation!
Stay true to yourself and trust those who love you.
Next year I would like to improve my running speed. This year I've working on building my endurance and have seen some excellent gains. Next year my running goal will be speed. This will probably mean having to take up weight training. But I hear that's good for you for running and outside of running. Running has been the only thing really keeping me together the last few years. So it's a place where I put my goals or at least know that the running goals I set are achievable. Knowing that makes me less afraid of setting other goals in life and helps me get back to living in the world. My other goals so far haven't been so long term, but the running goals are. Maybe next year I'll be in a better place to make long-term life goals.
I feel that it is imperative that I stop dwelling on how difficult my life is. It's ok to feel these feelings -- certainly, my life is difficult, and I shouldn't deny it. A the same time, I think that I need to work more on acceptance, and finding the good.
I guess my last answer bleeds into this one. I want to be feeling more confident in my career moves and that I am successfully making moves in it. I want my teeth to be fixed! And feel good about that (I am an adult and if I want something to be changed, I want to make that happen). I also want to be improving and utilizing my Spanish more!! I have wasted so much time not practicing that it's a shame! But that's not how it's going to end. The piece of advice comes from my mom. Any time I am talking about something that is stressing me out, she just tells me to breathe. She knows it will all work out as it always does.
Peace in the midst of chaos. As a child I remember being complimented on my skilled ability to keep peace. The Ralph Ave taught me how to live within a community of people from a variety of backgrounds...so much so that I didn't see anything negative with different cultures but rather I interesting parts of the whole. I want to get that peaceful community back. But in a more mature way. I don't want the responsibility of keeping peace, but rather to remain at peace. It starts with me keeping peaceful in the midst of chaos. I have a mentor. My latest boss' manner with people is impressive. In building a team he builds community; establishing a structure with the the "spirit of the squirrel, the way of the beaver and the gift of the goose". He engages and embraces people where they are without shuttering from the emotional backlash that often erupts. He remains peaceful in the midst of chaos. That is what I want to achieve this year.
I want to give myself more time to just BE. Just sit. And absorb what is around me. I want to not worry about the to do list, or what is next or what has to get done or any of it and just sit and be present in whatever might be going on around me. It's terrifying to even think about but one that I must adopt. While my answer to another question noted that I was ashamed that I'd allowed myself to get too close to someone, I think also, I want to build back my resolve to live in vulnerability. I know it's painful (as I"ve experienced this past year). But I also know its most rewarding and makes my heart soar. So, maybe I can start to get back there this year. (And read more Brene Brown!), but more likely I just have to ponder it so that I can better move on it later.
I want to stop frittering away my time.I want to accomplish some meaningful contributions. I want to make more art . Learn a language. Rescue a newf.Learn to play guitar. Write everyday. "In order to grow up but not old ,you should be passionate about a number of things equal to your age"Sol Gordon
I have to continue working on balancing my relationships and keeping them healthy, particularly with my children and my father. I am working on the balance between being fully available for and to them, but also keeping boundaries so that I am not losing myself in the things that are going on with them.
I don't know. Aside from the morass of sadness that surrounds my mom's death, my life is pretty much exactly where I'd like it to be. When the estate stuff is resolved, I'll be able to dedicate more of my energy to work and social pursuits, which I'm excited about. One thing I'd like to keep in mind, though, is to be open to the emotional/spiritual growth related to my mom's death. I want to work to accept it without dismissing it as silly or irrational.
I have been working on improving myself for the past, oh, 50 years or so! But really, in the past few years, I've gotten into a habit of exercise in a way that I hadn't in the past (in that I've stuck to it). But the past few months have gotten harder, so I'd like to see myself find that "thing" that gets me eating better and exercising more like I mean it rather than just something I have to do. I think the inspirational pieces I get from my fitness studio helps, reading a lot and working with friends should help.
Mindfulness practice, nonjudgement and compassion every day.
He said, " You seem to see others as somehow 'above' you." It is true, taking into account their particular studies, experiences and accomplishments. But it does matter if I let it affect my confidence. I want to do what I do because it is meaningful to me. Perhaps my challenge is to more fully own it the way my friend Frances owns hers: "I don't want a critique; I've said what I wanted to say, the way I wanted to say it." She has no illusions of fame, perhaps the way Grandma Moses painted for her own enjoyment.
Don't burn yourself out, be kind to yourself. Time off is as important as time on, it's not use working 24/7 and being miserable when you can work productively for say 37 hours a week (like 9-5 mon-fri) and have space to relax and actually enjoy life.
I would like to start counselling in the next year. Just to process some experiences and beliefs I have that I think influence some of the things I do and think today. Idon't think anyone gets out of life unscathed - or out of childhood. My childhood was great overall, but experiences become beliefs and beliefs dictate things we do and think. There are some things I want to know better about myself. I've always thought I had a pretty good hold on things, and I do. Perhaps too much. I would like to get better at relationships and choosing men that would actually choose me back. I have received a lot of good advice - none that I can think of this second but a few general points that stand out: - if its not a fuck yes, its a no - I am worth more than what I was allowing myself to receive - don't break your own heart anymore I've done a bit of work on myself in the past year and I want this to continue. It's important
Relax more. Understand that the aging process will affect me and I won't be able to do everything I could when I was much younger. Accept the aging process but never give up the being a person who is actively engaged with the world. Keep sharing my skills with others...continue to be a mentor.
If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don't evens start. With this advise i would like to life next year. I will take my chances and do my best!
I would like to be more vulnerable. I would like to unlearn all the deluded scripts that are inhibiting me from connecting to my pure essence. Here is a piece of valuable advice - From a quantum physics standpoint, we are all energetically connected. Life is finite. We are not here to be rich and famous. We are also not here to do something that we are not skilled at. Stop comparing yourself to others' successes, economic status, family life, jobs etc. You were given a specific skill set to fulfill your mission. Follow your passions and you will get there. Remember, it's not you. You have to put in the effort and the Universe will respond. What is meant to be will be. When immersed in physical mundanities, remind yourself that you are a soul who is here for a spiritual purpose. Don't be fooled by the mask of nature.
This year I would like to CREATE my life - not just react to it. I'm an introvert, and being a passive observer is totally my comfort zone. Now I need to work to break out of it. Joseph Campbell said that we must be will to give up the life we thought was waiting for us.....in order to life the life we have. Lots of things to let go of still.
Remember that my life is not a self-improvement project. What I would like to be able to do is restore my spiritual/emotional/mental "bank account" and regain my resilience, compassion, and ability to hold space for others.
I can't think of a specific piece of advice. I do know that I need to regain my passion for my vocation, I need to get back to my art, but overall I need to spiritually reconnect with my Maker.
Relationship, relationship, relationship. There are moments when my relationships with my children are immensely satisfying and others when I long for closer connection. I'd like to find more moments of satisfying, fulfilling connection with them. A friend keeps suggesting to be satisfied with what they give and the relationship we have and while I try to do that, I don't think I do it very well.
Losing weight, improving my diet and level of fitness would be good things to do for my overall health and wellbeing. I'm not sure who said it but I think it's good advice is, "If you want different results, you need to take different actions."
I want to learn to do creative lettering and wheel pottery, always enjoyed learning creative skills even if I'' not that great! Life's too short to be miserable, so go for it
God, I've been answering this for so long, and I am still nowhere. I do not blame anyone but myself. I have failed at jobs I have failed in business IO have failed in so many areas and now I want to take my failure and turn it around. I no longer want to be a burden Honestly, I have been listening to 10x by Grant Cardone, and I think it's time to turn things around. To invest 10X the effort and take 10x the actions and if I don't succeed I only have myself to blame. My father said don't worry he has me covered, but I don't want a parachute I want to make the parachutes for everyone. I think this advice and counsel for all it's beautiful intent if like a kick in the arse. I need to make more appointments and send more emails and track down more people. To bring something awesome to life. Not for someone else but for me and my family.
I want to trust myself more and to stop thinking that whatever I'm doing or whoever I am is not good enough. I want to put myself first. I want to be kinder to myself and to nourish myself more.
My gynecologist, who is one of my few good doctors, told me that I'm always going to have to work harder to be "okay." And I have to just...do it. If I want the things I want in my life. It sucks, but it is what it is. I'm sick. So what I'd like to improve is, in the larger sense, my health, both physically and mentally. In a more detailed sense, that means I would like to have a very systematic way of working harder. I mean, I work hard, but it's really disorganized and less effective than it could be. I have already started to prepare that. My list of self-care items. I want to implement a system to make them habits, though. I also want to improve my health tracking system. A second thing I'd like to improve is my reaction to injustices. I want to let things go. To feel compassion and forgiveness more. I think that is something that comes from being mindful as injustices happen, and how they make me feel and my choices for reacting. My therapist has been helpful getting me to that point.
I will choose to be less angry and more forgiving. I want to learn to set aside my doubts about myself and listen with greater attention to my instincts. 5777 will be my year of compassion for myself and others.
It's nice to be nice to the nice. I will not tolerate anyone bullying another for any reason. When I learned of ultra-Orthodox Jews bullying Progressive Jew in Israel at the Kotel, it made me angry beyond words. Physical involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes: Hitting/kicking/pinching Spitting Tripping/pushing Taking or breaking someone’s things Making mean or rude hand gestures The ultra-Orthodox pulled religious garments off of men and women, destroyed their prayer books, spit on them, threw human feces, and told them they should have died during the Holocaust. The Erica I have been in love with for thirteen years is one of these ultra-Orthodox Jews doing this to people. It made me feel how I felt when I was bullied and shunned from my adopted mom for being transgendered. I used to write Erica everyday. Now I can't even look at her photo. Why were these ultra-Orthodox Jews bully Progressive Jews? Because the Progressive Jews were sitting in mixed seating and allowing women to read from the Torah in an area where the laws allowed them to sit. The police even arrested women for carrying the Torah. The Israeli government approved the creation of an “Egalitarian” prayer space where non-Orthodox Jewish men and women can pray together at the Western Wall, on January 31, 2016. This decision was met with praise from Jewish leaders across the globe, and opposition from Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox Israeli citizens and members of government. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu stated that the creation of this space was a “fair and creative solution,” to rising tensions at the site. The advocacy group Women of the Wall counted this decision as a victory, with the government recognizing that, according to the organization's chairwoman, “that there is more than one way to be Jewish.” The new prayer space will be designated South of the mens and women's prayer sections of the wall, in an area known as Robinson's Arch. Yet, women and men are being bullied for having a place to pray, that is not safe. I am angry that Erica held herself out as goyim to me, when in reality she one of those doing the bullying. I told her I forgave her. I told her I can't be around anyone that projects hate on others. I am beyond disappointed in her.
I want to feel more compassion for my fellow humans. And to make this compassion heartfelt with true action and not just giving money.
Trust that I am enough. I don't need to prove anything to anyone, including myself. BUT don't be afraid to let my light shine. These two things are often in conflict with each other inside me. Be kind - to others and, particularly, to myself.
I want to continue my focus on becoming healthier and fit. I need to continue my efforts and get to the gym soon. And I would like to get settle in my career/job. And finally I'd like to be in a relationship of some sort, at least dating some. I think the best advice I've ever received is to do nothing when I'm not sure what to do, and to have faith that it will all unfold as it is supposed to.
I have felt pretty grounded in my yoga practice. I will continue this path and use it to move through any difficulties that arise. Pause and breathe Best advice
"The car goes where your eyes go." This quote is taken from "The Art of Racing in the Rain", and I'd like to apply it to myself in terms of being more forward-looking and more optimistic. Stop dwelling on my fears and insecurities and just keep trying until I achieve my goals and dreams. Criticism about myself, particularly in terms of how I deal with people, have also made me more self-conscious about my interactions. While I'm trying to be more sensitive to how I make others feel, I also want to be less hinged on what other people think of me. I can't please everyone no matter what I do. So might as well be me and do my own thing, as long as I don't harm anyone.
I would like to feel contentment with the ever elusive quest for balance. I would like to feel comfortable in my 40 year old skin. Oh how I would love to not be addicted to sugar- to feel focus and centeredness more than uprootedness.
I would like to be more confident with dating and romance and more able to open up in a relationship. No more assumption that a great guy couldn't possibly be interested in me or that any guy who is interested must be flawed. A good part of this is body image, so perhaps if I really focus on health and fitness that will make me more confident in this sphere of my life.
To be more present. Let's fit this under, 'get your shit together.' I guess I have to pay attention. My only other real goal is to get in shape. With all that entails, of eating well and losing weight and regaining mobility and having energy reserves. This could be inserted into any year of mine, but does that make it something to jettison, or something with staying power? If I hold myself to these two things, and subordinate other things--that is they don't get cut out, but they become of secondary importance. I don't need to keep up with movies, book series, television or facebook. I can do those things if I have time, but they are noise, not signal. They aren't getting me where I want to be. This ended up more positive than it started.
I would like to pay more attention to my health. The scare of being diagnosed with Lupus was a shocker and turned out not to be true. But I do need to exercise and lose weight now.
Be kind, don't judge. If someone is unkind to me forgive them I don't know what they maybe dealing with in their life.
I think I will try to "keep on, keeping on." My struggle is with being healthy -- diet, exercise -- the usual. As I age, this seems more important than ever.
I would definitely like to make my commandments a more integrated part of my attitude, mindset, and behavior. I'd also like to write a bit more -- lately I've been reading a lot of news, commentary, and current event reporting. That makes me highly informed, and even have a spectrum of thoughtful & analytical views and ideas integrated into my daily thoughts. But it's not the same as creating original ideas or analyses myself, and I'd like to do that more in the coming year.
I want to be more considerate of Becky. I've noticed (in part because he points it out) that it's easy for me to fall back into old, unilateral patterns in which I don't think about how my actions will affect him -- and that's not who I want to be as a partner. I have to remember that he loves me even in my imperfection and not get bogged down in some idea that either I'm perfect or I'm the WORST SPOUSE EVER so that I can keep doing the work of being a better co-conspirator.
I have two goals: 1. To improve my physical conditioning 2. To gain financial independence My husband has always said that as long as someone else signs your check, you are not free.
Cynicism is something that I employ far too often in my everyday life. It is definitely a big character flaw when one always assumes the worst in other people. With our current society’s current footing in the world of negativity and news channels filled to the bream with stories of people treating each other terribly and stupidity. It is so easy, so very easy to find something to be cynical about. After so much exposure to such stories and legitimate examples of the awful things happening all over, I am surprised more people are not cynical about others. Maybe they are, keeping their disdain for annoying or disgusting people or actions hidden. Yet, such negativity towards the woman screaming at her children or the elderly couple driving twenty minutes under the speed limit is a character flaw, and by extension, unhealthy. While a lot of the time these people are actually being obnoxious, there is a chance that this is not the case. David Foster Wallace talks about this in his commencement address to Kenyon College. He mentions that this phenomenon can be caused by a lack of self-awareness, as if one was a fish swimming through the water who is so unaware of what is around it, water. The idea that it stems from a personal issue rather than an issue of those around you is not something that most people consider. They will continue to get angry at those around them regardless of intent. Wallace mentions that our own needs and issues are so immediate and real to us, and that others fall into the background. In the next year I hope I can become more understanding towards those who I would normally dismiss as obnoxious or disgusting or a plethora of other negative adjectives. That is not to say to be overly optimistic, assuming everyone who does something inappropriate is just going through a difficult time, that’s a dangerous slippery slope to slide down. However, taking a realistic approach to things instead of assuming the worst is an important skill in our negative society.
I may only be saying this now because I had a tough day at work - but I've been given the advice to always remember that at the end of my shift, I can go home, but my patients are still at the hospital. I need to try to remember this always - when rooms aren't stocked, when call bells are constantly ringing, when you don't start documenting until 2:30 pm during an 8 hour day shift. I may be frustrated, on the verge of tears even - but I have to tell myself that getting home later is nothing in the grand scheme of things, and spending the time throughout my shift to fully care for each and every patient with my full attention and empathy is the reason I chose this career. I can always go home. I am lucky.
I need to figure out what it is that I want in a husband. I want to have a family, and I do not have time to play house with anybody unless I am sure I want to marry him. At this point, Bobby seems like the best contender for marriage, and I'm sure I'd be quite happy with him. Especially now that I'm moving away in two weeks, I'm starting to really question my decision to break up. I just also feel like I'm making too many sacrifices to be with him. I would be giving up part of myself to be with him. Part of me feels like that's not a big deal, and that I'm treating relationships like they should be fairy tales, and the other part of me feels like I'm short changing myself, and that I may just find someone with whom I'll feel more happiness and less irritation. I need to improve myself by taking a deep dive and understand my needs, and then figure out with whom it is I want to build a family.
Would really like to be more patient and calmer with the kids. Have been working on snapping and yelling less (in general - not just towards kids). Think I am improving, but would be great to eliminate this. Would also like to improve my follow through on things (especially distasteful tasks).
Recovering from cancer but left with many side effects, I found myself grumpy at so many people for so many little things. The Chemo nurse reminded me that I had no idea what burdens others were carrying. I try to remember that, hope to do better with that in the coming year.
Unfortunately, the goal is the same as last years. While my health is good, I REALLY need to lose weight. I think I have lost the same 2 LBS 30 times last year. . .if I'd kept them off, I'd be at my ideal weight. I know what I need to do, but the fork seems to be mightier than my will.
I would like to improve myself by not being so critical of myself and others. I have very high standards for myself and others in my immediate family. I tend to focus on what is wrong, missing, or in need of improvement rather than focus on what's good with what is right now. I am lucky that my husband is not shy about pointing out how my critical views can have a negative effect on him and our children. I just wish for the coming year that I can focus more on the positive of what is and less on the negative of what isn't. I'd like to be a more "glass half full" person. I'd also like to improve myself by being more patient, more organized, and more proactive.
There is no question that the number one regular negative behavior I have is texting-and-driving. I have gotten incrementally better over the past year, using the dictation button to type more often than using my fingers. Nonetheless, all it takes is one misstep. I have had a couple of close calls that no one but I know because no consequences came of them. In fact, the one accident I had this year (spinning out on a wet road) came with absolutely no distractions impairing my driving whatsoever. Regardless, I am putting my entire family's future at risk every time I look down at my phone. I must improve this behavior.
I can't believe I'm still having to say this to myself, but I need to change the way I eat, the amount I eat, the amount I exercise, and get into better shape. Regarding exercise, the thing that has worked best for me in the last two years is to sign up for a college fitness class each semester. It makes me show up and get it done. I consider this a best practice, something I wish I had learned long ago. With food, maybe something similar, like preparing my weekly food schedule and sticking to it.
To be more productive in terms of improving my skills and level of knowledge in my profession ( Nurse). A piece of advice i would like to give that i realized myself from the past year is that no matter how many times you fall down or hearing people saying that you'll never make it, never believe them, i never listening to them and now, i made it. I finished my nursing degree and passed the board exam on the same year. Just keep the positivity in any situation and you'll do better than fine.. 💗
Not to take myself or anything so seriously. NOTHING is worth the added unhealthy habit of becoming afraid. NOTHING. Fear is the most unhealthy habit of all. I would like to continue increase my creative output, and maintain a healthy body. I have been going through menopause and feel the strength seeming to drain more easily from me--it's harder to get back into an exercise routine than it has been in the past. Have more sex! Laugh more!
I want to get my living space completely cleared out, decluttered, so energy can move easily. I have difficulty releasing items of sentimental value to me. I'm heading in a good direction, albeit slowly, thanks to Marie Kondo's Art of tidying up. I also want to use my time consciously for my passions and to offer compassion to all other beings, rather than being stuck in unconscious habits/patterns.
Do more of the things that I feel passionate and excited about. Make more time for each grandchild. Listen to what matters is the best advice that I have heard from many. Remember that each day really does matter. Especially after 70!
I would like to procrastinate less. I would like to clean my apartment before I gets dirty, do my laundry before it overflows, and do my schoolwork long before it is due. I just read a chapter in a book about musar talking about the yetzer harah. I will start thinking of procrastination urges as my yetzer harah and work hard to overcome them.
I am working on smiling practice now. I would like to appear as happy as I feel. I would like to get close to a draft of my book and develop a disciplined habit of writing . Sr Ellie's advise of developing a friendliness or self acceptance is important. I hope that makes me more available to others
Lose weight, get fit, become more active. Lost 44 lbs so far, yay!
Possibility is present in the moment.
Stop wasting so much time with trivial pursuits, and that includes superficial relationships. Go deeper in everything I do. Learn a new skill or improve on skills I have. Dance, act and sing and do more of what really stimulates me. Performing big arts and intellectual conversation. Let go of the obsession with having a man in my life. Get more comfortable with my age, be less concerned with my looks, and respect the wisdoms age brings. Celebrate this time of my life, before the symptoms of aging starts to impact my quality of life .
To be calmer, try to make a friend or two. Don't sweat the stuff....from a good friend.
Public speaking and self confidence, these are two weak points that eventually i was going to make time to work on but other priorities take over and i find comfort in the routine. The specific knowledge i have acquired over the past 18 years is just mine and it is perhaps something i should try to frame, crystallize, write down & verbalize so it can be presented in a much more precise and logical way. This is the professional side of things. On a more personal level, i want to completely get interested in other members of the family's lives and become a closer and more active participant.
i would like to learn how to be more patient & accepting. my daddy just emailed me the following. i need to practice it... Eight Pillars of Joy by the Dalai Lama & ArchBishop Desmond Tutu Mind 01. Perspective 02. Humility 03. Humor 04. Acceptance Heart 01. Forgiveness 02. Gratitude 03. Compassion 04. Generosity Great virtues for the authentic person.
Procrastinate less, basically.
My big focus this year is on getting in better physical shape, hopefully through CrossFit, assuming I stop injuring myself. I started to be in better shape for rafting the Grand Canyon this coming March, but now I have other goals: to be able to do a pull up, to be able to box jump higher, to run a 5k, to swim across Lake Washington, to be able to deadlift my body weight and then some. I also want to lose some weight, but I don't want to focus solely on that. I want to take Izzy's advice of setting a goal weight, but then letting the focus shift to what I can do. I might get to that goal weight or I might not, but if I can do a strict push up and then a pull up, I will be happier about that than any number on the scale.
I have to talk as though things are good and positive. I can't say "I will never". Shannon said to me you can't say things like that. I always say " I will never make that kind of money anywhere else".
Find a career that makes me happy and aligns with my values and passions .
I would like to continue eating healthier food and being more active. I would also like to remember this: do not confuse disappointment with defeat.
Via Liz Gilbert/Sarah Jones: "Stop trying and start allowing." I would like get out of my own way, and stop waiting for permission to create.
Mainly, I want to improve myself in the next year by making good descions for my physical health. Especially going to bed early. I know making good decisions for my body will improve my mental and spiritual health too, so it's like getting three bonuses in one! Great advice I received in the past year was to accept myself where I'm at now. It's not worth it to be angry about my life stage or status because it won't do anything. I just have to accept it and keep going.
I'd like to continue to read. And to be well Counsel... You are enough, you do enough, you don't need to try so hard And self care is important, but it isn't always easy. Sometimes self care is doing the things you don't want to, life admin, eating the right thing, putting the rubbish out. But sleep is important too, and rest. Things won't go anywhere until you do then, but you can't prioritise washing up over going to bed. And I'd like to keep reading, and learning, and liking who I am
Self care isn't selfish. After surgery happens taking care of yourself is key and then walking back into health with movement and good food are all vitally important and not selfish things to carve out time for.
As I've said, getting a new job would help a lot. There is no advice available. I've realized that I'm kind of monstrous -- it's the way I'm wired. It can be mitigated, but only so much. But it also limits how much I can improve. I've realized believing I was normal instead of a facsimile of normal messed up my life. I wish I knew "then" what I know now so I could have proceeded accordingly. Maybe life wouldn't have been significantly better but I think it would have been at least a little bit better and I maybe would have hurt fewer people. So. The advice is all self-generated: Know myself and knowing myself, know my place and stay there.
More physical activity in addition to yoga. To learn how to live on less money so I can think about retiring some day. Guide Zachary to live inside his means so he doesn't need me to help him financially. All these are areas I have discussed with close friends and have been advised to set as goal.
The goal for next year is to get in better shape. Now that I can stand and walk again after the hip replacement, I realize how important it is going to be for me to be healthy and to have both strength and stamina. I was surprised by how fast I was able to recover and want to make sure I will be healthy if Larry has a problem of some type. Getting older is one damn thing after another. Still glad to be alive.
I'd like to become more connected with my daughter in positive and fun ways and through the possible sharing of my book with her. I'd like to demonstrate the principle of grit--passion and perseverance--to finish my book and in other areas of my life, even when or if I feel like giving up on something On a deeper level, I'd like to learn how to be assertive in my marriage and get more of what I want without having to fight or argue or take real "aggressive" steps to attain it.
I would like to be more physically active in the upcoming year. Life is so short and there is a world of wonders out there just waiting to be seen. I would like to do a little hiking, a little climbing and a lot of experiencing. Life is short - grab what you can!
I want to be a better teacher and more efficient leader. Grow in my teaching and learn how to be as best of a leader as I can be to feel secure in someday starting my own business. I want to be more present for my boyfriend and be a less self centered girlfriend. I want to find the balance in my life and have the concrete schedule that would allow our relationship to blossom. I received advice to learn from someone who is doing it. To manage my schedule and take control of my time.
Don't be your father. Don't allow the details and waiting to get the best of you.
I would like to be less emotional. Funny stress as much. Believe in love to have a plan for me. I want to be healthy inside and out!
Choose love. When in conflict, you can choose make the issue the most important, or, you can orient yourself toward preserving the relationship. And in those moments, the relationship is ALWAYS more important than the issue. So, focus on the relationship, not the isue, and choose love. Even if it means "losing" the argument, it's better to do that, than lose the relationship.
I would like to put greater emphasis on doing justice, showing compassion, and righting personal wrongs to others. And I want to cast a wider net of people (and even pets) in this endeavor. The advice was probably from the Jewish prophets.
I'm a hat wearer and a Hillary Clinton for President fan. Accordingly, marrying those two interests, I wear a button on a favorite hat with the Clinton campaign slogan, "Love Trumps Hate." I feel though like it's a message that transcends the political campaign. Consider this: As a Weight Watcher, if I focus on loving my body, won't I be more successful with my "get healthy" effort than if I denigrate myself and use negative reinforcement? Saying, "I hate my a**, my thighs, my waist, etc." doesn't fill me with energy and get me excited about going to the gym. Quite the contrary. It makes me want to hide away from society. Earlier this year, I attended a garden program on a blistering hot day. If I'd said, "I hate being outdoors in the heat," I'd have missed a wonderful program and really fun interactions. In short, when I come at life from a place of love, life is so much better! I want to try harder to really live the words "Love Trumps Hate." It's hard because I find some folks' attitudes and comments absolutely exasperating. But where does it get me being angry and encouraging hateful rhetoric? The Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Indeed and sooo not worth it. With my husband's help, I've been generous to friends and it's been wonderful. When I put forth love, it comes back to me and I feel great. I already know that my life will improve if I can make "Love Trumps Hate" my guiding principle. It won't be easy, but the payoff will be magnificent so here's to the counsel of Kahlil Gibran: "To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving." I look forward!
I'd like to keep on bringing calm into my life. To also help my children be with their emotions and develop resilience and compassion for themselves and others. I like the quote from Nelson Mandela - I never lose, I either win or learn. I'm looking at my life more and more as an experience rather than a plan ...reframing my thinking so that change is something I can accept with curiosity. I've pushed myself recently to go along to some meet ups, and I've had such a good time, although I find it hard to go but once there I enjoy meeting others and genuinely just being on the moment. I'm hoping it will be easier to do this. On a more practical level I'd like to sort out my pension and savings this year. Look to paying extra into my pension.
I want to try new things and learn to say no to doing things that really don 't speak to my soul
Breathe. When you're tired, breathe for a second wind. When you're happy, breathe in the moment. When you're angry, breathe until you see the root of the problem. When you're with the kids and they're upset, breathe for them to show them call. Breathe for you to find your calm. When you're lost, breathe.
Never force anything. Give it your best shot and then let it be. If it's meant to be, it will be. I love this, and I so want to be better at it!!!
I would like to stop sleeping around when i'm drunk. I would like to find a balanced way of being myself and not having to fit into any boxes or stereotypes that people want me to be in.
I will have made more progress on the inner path I'm on, as well as have a much stronger community- something that I am developing now. I'd like to be much healthier by this point this time next year. Thus means I need to exercise!
As I observe friends and family undergo great emotional duress, I hope to be a patient and supportive source of emotional strength for them. And I would like to do so without feeling drained of my own emotional resources. I hope to be more patient internally with the "mishegoss" I find in myself as well!
I would like to keep my weight down. It has crept up again and my hip is starting to hurt again. I would like to try to write more, it's a matter of trying to feel less brain fogged. No advice or counsel.
I would like to relax and feel more centered. I have had wonderful body workers this year and I would like to be able to integrate all they've taught me so that I can stand up like I belong on this planet.
I need to call my parents more often and have patience with them as they age. I need to market myself...in both yoga/fitness and interior design. I need to get motivated to get better and become more educated. I need to cut down on wine consumption. I need to continue to do things out of my comfort zone and have experiences beyond my norm. I need to hug my husband more and tell him how much I appreciate him.
More time for art and writing. More time with friends. More travel. Less stress. I want to find a place where my passion is an asset. Wisdom acquired this year: sometimes it takes a while to decipher a message. Part of that can be being unwilling to hear it.
I would like to be not so hard on myself. I tend pretty strongly towards perfectionism and I give myself a lot of grief over the things that I do, even when I know deep down that I did a great job. I'm finding more confidence now than I ever have, but sometimes I feel that when that high dissipates, it tilts the other way, so my level of self-criticism is now balancing out with my heightened self-confidence. Of course, it's always good to have a certain awareness of oneself, but I know that in my case, it's pretty excessive. I don't go through a single day without having some deprecating thought about the work I do-- in fact, it usually takes up a significant portion of my day. This is something that I know I can smooth out with some inner work, and I really need to if I ever want to be truly happy and comfortable sharing my work with others.
I'm never going to be the type to go with the flow. It's bad advice for me. But I do want to start proactively seeing the good in things. There isn't always a silver lining, but sometimes I must remind myself to see the positive side or circumstances that are out of my control. Keep being strong. Stand up for what you believe in. You know yourself better than you give yourself credit for! I want to own my self-awareness.
Forgiving myself for things I've done wrong, forgiving others for things they've done wrong. Realizing that people who do bad things aren't innately bad, there are no bad people, only bad actions. Realizing I'm not better than anybody else, that I'm just a person who's been shaped by my own life experiences, and other people are just people who have been shaped by theirs.
Do i come across as too needy?
Continuation. Love deeply, forgive more, be patient, open my arms wider, accept the responsibilities of privilege.
I would like to achieve a better balance between my professional life and my social life, meaning, I want more of a social life and more friends.
Keep striving to be my best. Accept everyone as they are and don't get upset with those who I don't agree with.
I'd like to get back on track reading more. I started doing that, then let myself use the excuse of getting too busy. Anyone can do 10 minutes a day.
To get out and away from home and keep moving. I like to isolate, and in the winter it's much worse. I need some help with changing my thought patterns during the winter. I used to love the winter, especially when I was still skiing and before when I was teaching downhill skiing. Things have changed with age and health influences. I may try to volunteer with the chickens. I'm concerned about being consistent and reliable with the energy and memory challenges I have. It's difficult for me to walk on the uneven ground to get to them. I have gone out to survey the grounds and I fell. Lot's of tall grass padding so didn't hurt. Healthy meals exercise social interaction downsize completed, including the storage unit!
"Stop 'fiddle fucking around'!" This was from a crossfit coach. It means get to it. Quit messing about at the periphery. Get to the task at hand. Those are words to live by! Next year I would like to be more organized and keep up the house better.
Live in the present. Don't worry about the future and let my kids make their own mistakes and learn from them. Enid telling me we don't know what is going to happen tomorrow so don't worry about it!
I'm going to go with these wise words from Maya Angelou: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better." - I got this quote from someone's 2015 answer and loved it. I feel like it connects with my goals for self improvement: In 2017 I want to do the things that scare me, not without fear, but hand in hand with fear. I am a fearful person, and it's neither a good nor a bad thing. It is simply who I can be sometimes. My anxiety does not define me and I have the potential to be absofuckinglutely fearless. And I want more of that in 2017.
For the physical me, I want to commit to continuing to exercise and stay at the healthy weight and body I have--at 73--finally achieved. For the emotional me, I want to be "easier" in life--let things go sooner, have a grace that sometimes eludes me. Be more accepting of things that cannot change
I am an empty nester. I don't have to rush home to make sure the kids aren't having a party in the house. I don't have to rush to get dinner on the table. I don't have to get home to take anyone anywhere (except Kiwi to the park!). I really don't have ANY excuse for not working out a few days after school. I already know I won't get up early to do it before work, so it's got to be after. I need yoga! I need strength! I need core! Do it! Do it! Do it! I already eat right - mostly, I have to get moving!
I would like to be able to control my anger and not allow abusive, drama queens and toxic people to pull me into to their web and drain my energy so that I become sick. I would like to control my anger so that I don't become sick from drained energy and low immune system. Also I would like rid myself of depression. Today I saw a black mail man singing and he was so full of joy and he says that he is like that everyday. Well that is how I want to be "fill with so much joy that I am overflowing everyday. It also made me smile and happy to see this mailman singing and enjoying himself that I had to smile. It also made me feel joyful too. It was so refreshing!!!
Start earning credentials and get my own place!
I want to be more available to friends especially those in need. I work too much and miss out on a lot of time with my friends. Maybe now it's time to slow down and reprioritze people. My biggest lesson from losing Lyon is that self care is important. Taking time to myself and those that support me is invaluable. To give back that support would be an honor.
Don't be distracted by the what-ifs, should-haves, and if-onlys. The one thing you choose for yourself; that is the truth of your universe!
I have to be honest...I'm feeling pretty good right now. I'm running 20+ miles a week, my husband is in a good fitness routine, I spend plenty of time with my children, I have fulfilling work. I wish we were more comfortable financially, but seriously, we have a beautiful life. I suppose that I still struggle to be patient and forgiving as a parent....so, as always, I would like to be a better and more loving and purposeful parent. I think I'm doing a better job than I used to, but I lose my temper, I get exasperated, occasionally I despair that my oldest is a sociopath (he's not....but holy moly he has his moments!!!) So. I would like to continue to work on parenting -- specifically, remembering that to discipline means to teach, and I aim to do that lovingly and constructively.
I will attempt to schedule activities better; they have been too ad hoc, without a good plan and therefore running around doing a lot of stuff that is not very efficient. Once upon a time, someone recommended project management software. For software development, people use Jira... Too many activities requires much organization than i have had this past year.
Still working on psychosomatic pain. Still working on depression. ,you've got a good thing going there. Don't fuck it up."
Be kinder than necessary. I daily try to apply this statement to my actions and thoughts but I know I can improve even more. Currently, when someone asks me to do a favor for them, I think of the burden it will be on me and then how much of a help it will be for them, and then I agree to help. While my final decision usually tends to be generous and thoughtful, I want to improve my thought process. I want to immediately think of how much of a help it will be for them and barely even consider the burden on me. That would truly be embracing the kinder than necessary mindset. I hope I can be this change I wish to see.
I give myself good advice all the time. I read a lot of Torah commentary and Jewish Renewal writings, Buddhism, Taoism, Poetry. It's learning to act on it, or better yet, let it consistently inhabit me that's tricky. Right now I'm content with most of what's happening in my life. I'm very much in love with my sweet husband, at peace with my children, grandchildren, and friends. May this current contentment continue.
Give fewer fucks. (Care less about what others think of me.) If I am disconnected from my feelings, I will be disconnected from God. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
I would like to be more loving towards myself, and cut myself a bit more slack. I have been filled with self-loathing and particularly hard on myself, especially over the past few months, and it isn't productive or kind. I've read that our brains learn the message we send it, and I want to send my brain a better, more positive message about myself.
I would like to get better about exercising in the next year keeping more of a focus on my health. I'd also like to do more reading. This is something that often gets put on the back burner. No great advice . . unfortunately.
Learn to committ and accept that commitment. Less anxiety. As Oprah Winfrey says, "Once you decide what you want, you make a commitment to that decision."
I would like to find a place where I am happy. Now, happy is a general term, however I just mean a general happy. Like, I don't mind my job or I feel rested on the weekend and I'm getting to do things that interest me. Sounds easier then it is. I wish I had gotten some advice that could help me.
One breath at a time; one step at a a time, one day at a time. Nothing is permanent.
Improve myself and my life? What's wrong with me now, what are you saying? Did you see something? What? What are you looking at? Aspirations. I get it. Aspirations. I want to read the Torah. We are the people of the book, right? I want to read the book. Not a huge thing, I realize, but it requires a sustained effort, and sometimes I have trouble moving in the same direction for a protracted period of time. On the other hand, it's not like I need to invent the wheel here. Judaism had a plan for this. I just need to do it. Torah. Just do it.
I've started taking classes for meditation. Guided meditations. I want to continue these on my own and be able to get further into it myself. I had a session with a "healer" and it was very eye opening. Definitely opening up my world and I want to dive in more.
This year, blog reading notwithstanding, there was no particular advice or counsel that I have have heard other than my boys telling me to take care of myself. Lose weight. Keep walking. Yoga.
Develop more confidence in my abilities to teach and be of service through my own life experiences. I would like to develop more confidence around my photography, realizing that I am newer than many to the profession but experienced enough to begin a successful business. The advice I've received that guides me is that we are never manifesting, everything that each of us wants and needs to be who we are meant to be is awaiting us, all we have to do is align with it through a belief that it we are divinely perfect already. The other is that happiness isn't a goal, it is a way of living every day that is a part of the flow of achieving authenticity and the life of our dreams.
Be more patient & do not to try & control everything. It is impossible to keep control of everything. Things are going to fall, children are going to be disappointed. Parents are going to be disappointed. People in general are going to be disappointed in you, but you are only one person. Let that be good enough. Be patient with others, who are not as driven as you are. Not everyone moves at the speed in which you do & one day you won't either. Take time to just enjoy the day. No matter how small or insignificant the event, if it is just spending time with your spouse or your children, just do it. It dose not have to be a grand event. So bottom line to improve me.......let go.....enjoy......find peace in the small things.
This sound akin to New Year's resolutions, but here it goes: 1) spend less time on the computer and more time at concerts and dances; 2) start playing the guitar again; 3) read more paper books; 4) cook more; 5) run a 10K in less time than my age; 6) spend more time with family and friends. Advice: "eyes on the prize".
I ended 5776 on a good note in terms of taking care of myself--a bit more exercising, eating better than I've eaten in a long time. I 'd like to expand on this , and slowly continue to make changes that will result in me feeling better physically and emotionally as well. My friend Nitsana told me to write my nove.--just write one page a day, she said, and at the end of the year you'll have a novel. So I may just try that during the course of the year.
Be a better listener Be able to put myself in other people's shoes better
If you want to return to the Camino, return to the Camino. If you want to walk away from the toxic elements of your family, walk away. If you want to X or Y or Z, then X or Y or Z. There will never be a perfect time to do anything: not a perfect time to sell the house, not a perfect time to drive cross country. There will never be a perfect place to be either: CA isn't perfect, Boston wasn't perfect, ME wasn't perfect & HotLanta isn't perfect. But WE are perfect. We ARE perfect. And now is the perfect time to start living. "Go and live a great life." Buen Camino!
I'm often told I need to chill out, don't worry. Heck, my 6th grade teacher called me a worry wart! (I'm in my 50's) I do have a light hearted attitude but inside I'm often freaking out. Some advice I've been given is to practice yoga. That would be a good start. The other would be to be present and not bring up things in my mind that are not productive like harboring resentment or guilt. I do that a lot. I'm Jewish! Maybe that's not a good crutch anymore. Never was. I know one thing-there's no place like home. Traveling as we are right now-what I'd hoped and dreamed to do-had made me appreciate home and I can't wait to go back. And live in the present. Even though I'm not doing that now!
I would like to improve my cooking and time management skills so as to keep the house tidy, running smoothly and allowing for leisure and time to enjoy reading, time with friends and family, and travel. The advice would be considering homemaking as nurturing, so that it is a matter of pride rather than a chore.
I would like to become more financially responsible and improve my health through weight loss. I think the most striking statement for me to remember when it comes to both of these areas that I struggle to improve upon is that just because I can, doesn't mean I should
I would like to be a better partner, a better and more active grandfather, contribute more to the community. A peice of advice not so much, but a question which was are you enjoying this time in your life and doing things that you want to do? My answer was yes but upon reflection, I decided that it was not yes enough. I need to work more on the three things at the top. All make me happy. I will.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. I would like to be busier, healthier, and more engaged with people around me by next year. Achieving that will mean taking small steps to improve myself and reminding myself that I cannot expect overnight transformation.
I’d like to improve my physical strength and stamina this next year: to keep steady with my daily exercise routine, to read more in the evening instead of watching Netflix, to keep my stress levels down by spending good time with friends and family.
I want to get healthier and happier, I want to be able to live a clean life, and be able to do anything that I want or need to do. I don't want to be so afraid to do the things that I love, buck up some courage and do it!
I had met someone that was telling me to live more in the present-in last year's 10Q, I told myself to heed that advice. I found it too difficult! I like using the past to better myself, and I like anticipating future excitement/peace/etc. I understand the concept of being able to stand in this moment and be grateful...and I do try to do that too. To this end, therefore, I want to focus, this year, on applying my past/present mindsets more on the actual present. So, for example, when I'm appreciating this beautiful Fall day, remembering past gorgeous Fall days, and anticipating many more of them! Win win win :)
More yoga. More meditation. Not react verbally so quickly.
I would like to be able to better express myself. I think much. I feel much. I often do not say much. Out loud. Especially about topics that get me fired up. I rehearse and craft passionate speeches in my mind. I write brilliant letters to the editor in my mind. I stun and mesmerize others with my arguments and well-delivered supporting facts. In reality, I do not deliver any of these things. Especially about topics that get me fired up. Like social injustice. Like racism, sexism, zenophopia, or any type of discrimination. Like poverty. Like mental health. Like marital fidelity. Like the current presidential race, or gubernatorial race. Like animal cruelty. I would like to say the amazing things that are in my head. I may not ever be able to. My contributions may have to be quiet contributions: voting, volunteering, educating myself, educating others when possible, donating, demanding exemplar behavior from myself.
Be more open and honest with other people. Don't be afraid to admit when I am unsure - it's a sign of strength, not weakness.
During the last year before my surgery, I was assisted by a medium. The message I have most tried to integrate is to just ask for help, that it is already primed for me and fully available to me. I just have to ask. I forget to ask. I am already better at it and hope to become even more so.
By next year I'd like to have a cleaner home, looking good enough for others to come over. There is a homily that Father Jim gave where he said there are two kinds of people -- those who's homes are always ready to receive others and those who have to spend hours cleaning before someone comes over. The caveat is that the former values people so much that their house is ever ready to welcome the stranger. I would really like to be like that. I am ashamed of how dirty and messy my home is. I can see the dust on the bathroom floor, the hair in the bath tub, the toilet has yellow stains that I can't scrub away, there is no room on the kitchen table for someone to eat, and I can't remember the last time I vacuumed.
I think I just need to keep going the way I am now - balancing work, family, music, church. I want to be painting more regularly - and recommend that I do a small painting in my sketchbook frequently and not worry so much about creating something that can be framed.
I think the biggest improvement would be a focus on fitness and not stressing about little things. Taking it one day at a time would be the best advice for this, I'm sure!
I really think if I can get the teachers on board and unlock the secret to dealing with behavior problems, I will be happier at work. Some days I just feel so overwhelmed and like everyone is looking to me, and only me, to have all the answers. It's too much. I know getting the behavior issues under control won't solve everything, but I feel like work would be so much less stressful.
I need to get outside more. My work is mostly in my head: teaching, lesson plans, grading, creating assignments and activities. I take breaks from the computer or paperwork, but generally it is only within the house or office. Getting outside would let me feel the sun and breezes and smell the air instead of just looking out a window. I would be moving more rather than just shifting to some other task. It would be real break to better clear my head and give me a fresh start when I return to my tasks.
I would like to become better at accepting different views about things. I would like to not feeling having to defend my views. I would like to become better at detaching myself from differing opinions. I would like to find a way to be just listening without agreeing or disagreeing.
Organize your time! Prioritize, do what needs to be done, enjoy the time that's leftover guilt-free!
You have to be healthy and happy in order to help anyone else. So take care of yourself and let your natural passions shine through.
I would like to speak my truth. I would like to speak up for myself and not just for other people. I would remind myself that I am someone worth speaking up for. I need to say what my own needs are and advocate for myself. I would also like to keep moving forward clearing out the house and filing for divorce. I've let fear of the unknown hold me back for way too long. I need to push through and move myself forward into the unknown and know that I will already.
I want to let myself be happy
Ah, it isn't knowing what is needed, it is the will to actually implement. I have a large to-do list, mostly yard stuff and some house stuff. I hope I can actually motivate myself to chip away at it. Perhaps I am too pragmatic, but for me there is spiritual achievement in completing things. I have good ideas, but follow through is not consistent. I would like to finish the new flower bed, move the peonies, redo the corner flower bed in the backyard, plus the normal seasonal stuff. And do some serious pruning--mainly the redbuds. And weeding, always weeding. And mulching....
Healthy habits and lowering stress. Seem to be most urgent and the highest payoff!
THINK. Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind? If what I'm going to say isn't at least several of these things, then I want to hold my tongue. I would like to THINK in this way before I speak.
Getting reconnected with a college friend recently, I learned from him the way I want to approach life and situations more: being present, open and being able to not hold onto things–both material and emotional–too tightly.
I want to be more hospitable in traffic! I'm generally a sweetheart in person, but I drive like a BITCH (as someone told me)! The counsel I am receiving at my church has made this need very evident. It is the true test for me of transformation. If I can be as gracious behind the wheel as I am face to face, I'll know I have arrived.
I would like to improve my finances next year. To make a dent in my debt and to live a more simple life with less luxuries and more thoughtfulness about where my money is going. I think the mantra that comes to mind when I think of good advice received is "Just start." I am always waiting for the right time to do things. I don't know when I was given this advice but, it seems like a repeated theme I've been ready to hear this year.
Give yourself time to figure it out. Be creative. This time next year, be happy with where you are. Maybe you have a job, and maybe you don't. But if you focus on what brings you joy and love, you will not go wrong.
I would like to improve myself and my life by being connected to a loving community of family, friends, mentors, etc. I find myself being alone a lot and feeling lonely. I would like to have and be a part of a support system in all areas of my life such as fun, work, entrepreneurship, fitness, spirituality, and love. I need to find another book or maybe finish the one I started cause the title drew me in and I can use it to guide me: "Find Intentional, Vulnerable, and Consistent Community."
I would like to slow down and be more methodical and relaxed. When I rush I get anxious and then angry /depressed. I want to slow down and operate at a more thoughtful, pragmatic pace. In terms of walking, talking, activities, thinking. When I over commit and run trying to cram everything I miss opportunities in the present moment. An example would be rushing from Andrea to meet another date. I should have taken more time there. I want to live more harmoniously and go with life instead of swimming upstream and burning / fizzling out. At the same time I want to continue to try things and improvise and learn and grow and be expansive. So a blend of pragmatic and measured / even paced, but also innovate, try, experiment, tinker.
I'd like to learn how to do something physical with my body - take a dance class, start working out more, learn how to do a cartweel, SOMETHING. My body and I are finally becoming better friends, and I'd like to keep it that way.
Every day I am more open to trusting myself and trusting others. I would like to continue on that path. And being nicer to myself, too! I get advice every day from my incredible wife - she's my guide and I am hers...it works!
Aside from learning to make stronger connections and maintain those connections, I feel my life is a continual journey of growth and improvement . As Gramps always said, "After me, everyone is first." In other words, I must look after myself and satisfy my own needs first, foremost and always. That's how I live my life.
Be more gracious, and give others the benefit of the doubt before leaping to conclusions.
Know what I want in relationships and speak up. It was something I read on 10q - don't be an enabler of other people's needs and behaviours, define what's right for me and manifest it.
I'd like to pick up the guitar again. I haven't played for about two years and maybe I should start lessons again to get up to speed.
I want to be better able to finish things. It seems like my life is a treasure trove of unfinished projects. Those projects really drag me down.
I want to work to be as strong and healthy as I can be I want to read more and do more activities for myself. I want to improve my computer knowledge.
I would like to be at a better place physically and mentally. As much as I love my physical therapist, I would like to be mostly self-sufficient in keeping up with physical therapy. I would also like to be in a better place mentally and not be so reliant on my SO to take care of me.
Tackle challenges immediately rather than ruminate on them and avoid.
I think I need to embrace and learn about social media and use that to sell my wares. I've been dragging my feet because I didn't know enough about it and also because I was limited in what I could physically do. Still have a few physical limitations although things are improving. But no more excuses, I've got to find another way to market my wares. I have noticed the pop up boutiques selling clothes and hope I can sell things that way too. Not sure it will translate but need to give it a try
I want to improve my eating habits. And life a healthier lifestyle in general. Not just food but also working out, sleeping habits and so on. I don't have any special advice that could help me with it but hopefully I find the much needed motivation to fulfill this task.
Be more comfortable in my own skin. About 6 months ago I begun a twice daily meditation practice which has really helped. For tangible answer, I'd like to be a bit more social and "get out" more.
This is similar to #6 and would be a part of he same process. There are skills I would like to improve and creative avenues I would like to spend more time exploring. However, I will have to prioritize these and current activities and jettison some of the activities at the bottom of the list. Along with this, I need to guard against allowing others expectations and goals from taking over or distracting me from my own goals and expectations of myself. Where appropriate, I need to draw firm lines in the sand and enforce my "no" choices.
My hope is to feel better and get my blood pressure down .My Dr has given me some good advice with a look to achieving this goal , and I need to learn to relax .
I think I say this every year (not just here, but any time I get asked)... I want to be healthier - exercise, eat better, get on a reasonable sleep schedule. I want to read more - books especially, longer, deeper thoughts. I want to learn how to be a better listener, pick up on the signals, ask the questions, learn from others more. I like to think some version of that will always be my answer.
I would like to get into peak, consistent physical shape. I know it sounds vain but it you feel so much better, are generally healthier and feel more confident.
I have gotten a lot better with my self-confidence, but I would like to move to an even deeper level where I am completely comfortable with myself - whether this means physically, academically or emotionally.
I'd like to be more present for my family, my husband, my work.
Went to another lovely day retreat- with a lovely teaching on developing love and compassion- and made me remember how important it is to have a happy mind, and how by attaching to and following our thoughts we make ourselves unhappy. Rinpoche explained how the thoughts are both empty and luminous, arising from the true nature of mind. When we stop and say "I'm happy, but...." we need to remember to forget the 'but' and just be happy. I want to remember this for the rest of my life.
I want to feel the most confident I have ever been. I want to start my 30s off with a BANG. I envision it being completely transformational and an empowering; the most exciting years of my life.
This time, I have to do it for me. I've only got one life to live.
I have a tendency to interrupt - especially those I'm close to like David & lissaivy - they both point it out to me. This year I want to be more conscious of not doing that.
I'd like to hone my voice. To speak my truth and not hold back as much. I'd like to harness my creativity and find a creative outlook. I'd like to be physically active and energized, and I'd like to learn how to be s good parent.
I would like to manage my hours better. I am going to have to do this at my new job, because I need to demonstrate to my colleagues and my employer that I am organized and can work efficiently. I will be happier too if I can get a handle on this better. Each day will be an onslaught of requests and questions with tasks to do. I will not have the luxury of working on one big project for several years. My new job entails smaller projects with shorter schedules. I will need to prioritize my efforts or else I will not survive a week .
I would like to reduce the amount of processed foods that my wife and I eat. I think that with retirement looming I will have more time and be more inclined to prepare meals from scratch. I have been inspired by others that I know through my environmental activism.
I would like to lose weight and find a boyfriend, I went through 6 months of therapy so I got alot of counsel!!
I would like to feel better; to spend more time looking for pleasant events, and entertainment for us. Would like to walk more than I do now-to be less depressed.
I would like to become a better listener before I share my ideas...... I have learned that when I gather all the information before i share my ideas I am better able to connect in an effective way..I learned that from my son and his wife.
Be a better adult parent Complete to-do list in more timely way
It's probably not as hard as you think it is.
Again, all of my "negative" stuff revolves around my weight. I need to find a way to make that a priority. I just need to be more active and watch my portions. Good advice is just to be the most that you can be!
I think I should be less angry at my dad and sister and more patient w my husband. Mom advice, except be more patient, my sister sad I sit. Ack snd let people yell at me, but what is the advantage of fighting back? Let them look stupid, just like bullies, best advic is to walk away.
I just retired after 37 years of work. It's a whole new world! I joined a gym to make sure I keep my muscles and bones fit! I make hate for oncology patients. I take blankets too homeless people living outside. I want to keep giving and taking care of family and health.
I think the biggest thing I need to remember is that "slow and steady wins the race." I forget that and think I need to be 100% from day one. And that just isn't true. I need to make small, consistent changes and that will lead me to a life I am proud of. I want to get down to 160 pounds by next Rosh Hashana. That means a steady loss of 2 pounds a week for the next 52 weeks. I think I can do that if I really work at it. I can't just eat whatever I want to eat and then bemoan the fact that I am fat. I need to wake up and exercise. I need to meal plan and not buy crap. I need to work for what I want. It isn't going to be handed to me if I don't do the time!!!!! Plan the work and work the plan. That is what I really need to internalize in 5777.
Aimlessness: "...don’t put anything in front of you as the object of your pursuit. ." http://www.lionsroar.com/the-doors-of-liberation-may-2014/ (Thich Nhat Hanh)
Lose weight. No real helpful counsel. Sucks bro.
I'm not sure, really. This year has ben such a blur in terms of who I was. It got pretty confusing in the midst of my deep depression--I didn't know where it ended & I began. I felt like it was robbing me of my personality. I guess what I would do is to rely on others more & have hope for the future. Those are the only two things that got me through being suicidal. I often found myself wishing I didn't have such a strong support group because it would be easier to disappear. But I'm glad I have the people in my life that I do, because without them I would be totally lost. & I need to remember that they are here for me, just like I am for them.
I want to do more art!
I think I need to look at a "less-is-more" approach more seriously. I'm learning to delegate better, I'm learning to utilize the strengths of those around me and my hope is that by properly empowering those people I can then focus more energy on things that really move the needle. I think that a continued focus on my health, eating, exercise, sleep, etc., as well as focusing on being intentional in my investments at home with my family will allow my overall quality of life to be greater. But more important than my personal quality of life is the amount of investment I can make into the lives of others and that, I think, will be the best all around.
I want to travel as often as I can but also be better at saving for the future.
Spend more time doing my water exercises.
Be more positive. Spend more me time. Enjoy re-fire ment. Stay in the moment.
I want to do more for my own business and less for theirs. I want to bring success for myself, not just everyone else. I want to create more, earn more and give myself more time for me. If I use my Self Journals and teeny tiny turtle steps and keep chipping away, it can happen.
I want to stick to keto and get into decent shape - work on my flexibility and stamina and be able to spend time with the kids out doors. Maybe start hiking again.
I have been given the gift of wisdom over the last few years. Not all the wisdom I will need or acquire, but definitely on the road! My advice is to remember how stressed I have been in the past, but more importantly remember how to acknowledge, accept and embrace it. Only when I acknowledge emotionally--not intellectually try to figure out why or what--will I be able to deal with it. And then usually it will subside. Or I will fall asleep and let my wonderful mind work on it without emotion. I want to continue to learn how to let go of the wrong judgments and instead allow myself to embrace change, difference, and even fear.
I would hope that I have a better idea on how to improve my skills as an healthcare provider. I was told by a dear friend: "Is this what you want to do the rest of your life".
Take care of yourself. Make the time. Make it a priority. Don't wait.
I would like by next year to diversify in every areas of my life; read more books, make more friend and create more streams of income outside my traditional salary work. I have always read good quotes from astute business or other successful people in life and they make good advice to me. One major one I learnt this years is that one should work for knowledge not just for money
keep going...not lose hope but be realistic...be as cheerful as makes sense...'take the fruit of the tree, but not the tree' I like that advice as relates to taking profits while not harming the source of the profits.
A few days I did an exercise in the mentorship training program. I looked at the 16 year old pic of myself and told her that "loving yourself is not the same thing as being conceited." WOW! In general, over the last year I have become more loving and accepting of myself. Only took 44 years! I would love to continue this practice...of loving me for who I am and how I am NOW. So I put on a little weight and have gray hairs and a few more wrinkles. And you know what else. My heart has opened and I feel deeper than before. My brain opened this year and I got an A in Statistics! I acted in Shakespeare and got 4.0 in school, after 20 years! I made new friends, I became very cautious as to whom I would allow into my heart and energy. I have been doing yoga daily and it feels so great. I am doing great and Its ok for me to say and feel it. That makes me whole, not conceited. Last night Craige looked at me deeply and said multiple times how beautiful I am, inside and out. It was not easy to let it in, I had the instinct to cringe and make a joke and deflect the attention, but instead i let it fill me inside and feel his adoration of my inner and outer beauty and feel it!! And it lovely to have someone who I am falling in love with feel that for me. But more importantly, I am feeling it for myself!!!!!
Don't think so much. Everyone is not looking judgementally at you (and if they are, it's their own problem). Sometimes the heart knows more of what the head wants. Breaking away from the "plan" sometimes is needed and leads to better places.
I would like to do things that are a little uncomfortable for me. Nothing like jumping out of an airplane, just participating in activities that are out of my comfort zone. I have spoken with other congregants about participating and they have put my mind at ease. I used to be comfortable being the organizer, but today I like to be a follower.
I am hoping I will be willing to brave the rain and wind to continue walking at lunch this winter. The cold is manageable, but returning drenched could be a deterrent. At 70, I realize that retaining my body's health and agility is key.
I would like to be a clean under 200lbs. I just received sobering news about Scott Selig and Brain cancer and it reminds me of mortality
Please stop being so hard on yourself. You have achieved great things, you are generous, and you are good to your family and friends. You don't have to be perfect to be remarkable and deserving of respect.
My recent discovery of what it means to embody my essence and self (authentically and from inside ME) rather than view my self from others eyes or as an object will hopefully prompt me to live more confidently, compassionately, courageously, etc... I will strive to maintain high levels of presence and happiness. I will be grateful.
I hope to start being successful. Not necessarily in every aspect of my life, but one or two would be great.
Listen better, at home and at work.
Surrender. What this means to me today, right now, is to not try and push away feelings or strategize them away. To just surrender to: here is how I am feeling right now. And maybe I don't have to eat, or shop, or get upset, or figure out some way to "fix" them. To just surrender to letting them be, knowing that if I do, my wiser self/higher power/the dharma of kindness and ethical behavior will show me the way, without my having to try and control the outcome. Radical.
I would like to keep enjoying life and recovering and feeling happy. I need to make use of the support available to me. Counsel to guide me: don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
This year, after a disastrous girls weekend, I lost a handful of friends. I don't have many friends at my age. I want to be a better friend. Not even focus on amends because things happen and we need to move on, but I need to focus on being more present for the friends that I do have. I also want to be more appreciated and find friends where I don't do all the work. I had coffee with a highschool friend and she shared that she finds gossip boring. To sum in my words, "Let's talk about movies, politics, anything else but other people. " This will make me infinitely more interesting and it's something I've been trying to do. Let's see how my friend count looks next year.
I would like to continue to grow and be a better person. I want to not gossip about other people but help people when they need help. I want to only give advise when I am asked for it and even then be careful to let people discover their own truth. I have received so much advise in the last year about money, men, self-love, family love, medical and emotional fortitude that it would be impossible to pick on thing that has stood out. With that said, "Speak my own truth," seems to stand out as a way to live.
I would like to continue to try to walk 10,000 steps per day. I would like to continue to clarify my professional goals. I would like to set challenges for myself such as running a 5K (which I did last year and plan to repeat) or drawing each day (which I have started to do, but which I am struggling to do consistently).
I want to improve my reading and writing ability in Japanese. I have been living and working with this language for almost half my life, and it frustrates me that reading is still so hard. I am going to study up so that I need no caveats when I tell people I am fluent. Second, I want to be more outspoken and assertive about what I want to people. After graduation from grad school, at the reception, the dean of my school told me this: If you are not occasionally upsetting a few people with the ideas that you are throwing out, you probably are not making a strong enough impression. I have prided myself on being easy going and not making waves, but part of that is holding my tongue about a lot of stuff. I definitely won't become super opinionated all the time, just more outspoken than I have been. Third, it would be nice to get a handle on whatever is causing me to have headaches all the time, as well as the headaches that come from drinking stuff from starbucks. I want to get medical insurance and enough money to have all of my body aches checked out.
I really think I should find a psychologist/counselor/what have you to go to. I tried to use my school's services, but apparently, grad students in my program aren't allowed to do so (which I think is wrong, but I digress). I think I would feel better all-around if I have an unbiased 3rd party to talk to and feel like they were truly listening to me.
I'd like to accept myself just the way I am. I did receive counsel when I was deciding whether or not to do something I had been asked to do and it was something I didn't want to do at all. I said to the person who was counseling me, "I need to learn to work through my angst and do this, though I don't want to," and he said, "No, you're fine just the way you are." His words moved and comforted me.
"Good things happen to those who hustle." (Anais Nin) I'm going to plan for work and work my plan. I want to attract a team of consultants and a circle of women. I want to keep myself filled so I overflow everywhere.
Waste less time, and finish what I start.
Be mindful. Practice mindfulness every day. Be present in the moment, without judgement. Cultivate relationships. Connect with friends and family.
Exercise. Dance. Play. Explore. Read. Sleep. Get myself out there and keep finding new things. Figure out what I like and not do things for other people as much.
Yes, "one thing at a time!" I want/need to be more mindful in every part of my life especially as I move around my home and the world. Too many accidents and falls and mistakes waiting to happen when I multi-task and rush through life.
I have four affirmations right now that truly express my goals for this year. I'm neat, I'm organized, and I get s*** done. I am thriving in sobriety. I look and feel amazing! We have an abundance of money. And my favorite quote, by Marianne Williamson: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate . Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
The one thing that I certainly know I need to improve upon within a year is my attitude. I have always had a pretty pessimistic outlook on my everyday life. It is just my default setting. The reason I operate this way is because I hate getting my hopes up, then ending up disappointed. That's why this idea of "Hope for the best, but expect the worst" is so normal to me. However, I have noticed that this attitude has somewhat changed me into a "Debbie Downer" of sorts. For example, while all of my friends may hatch up a great idea of going to a concert down in Mansfield, I'm the lone man who raises the logistical issues of transportation, parking, ticket prices etc. Unfortunately, I have recognized that this mindset sometimes inhibits me from as much fun as I can. Next year, I'm going to be in a whole new environment with all new people, so I want to change my attitude to find that perfect balance between optimism and pessimism. The piece of advice that is going to be my compass for having a better attitude is something my mother would tell me growing up. Her words were "Always choose to be happy". This piece of advice would always come after something trivial, so I never really took it to heart, but there is a great point to her counsel. Even if I get my hopes and I get let down, if I choose to be happy it will not ruin my day. I think always trying to be happy would force me to become a better person. My guidance counselor drove this idea home to me a few weeks ago. He was asking how I was feeling about the college process, and I told him my anxiety about not knowing where I would end up for the next four years. He told me that's one way to look it, a more pessimistic way. He said, if you consider optimistically, I will end up in a brand new, exciting environment full of potential friends. He was absolutely right, just proving how choosing to be happy will be instrumental in improving my attitude.
I would like to be generous without keeping track of my giving. Be less of a "scorekeeper".
I really want to be settled in my new place, and working out daily. For mental health as well as slimming down. In the past I have done ok with this when life is in a routine. I am serious! I want to be walking morning and night,M with or without dogs, beach or river road. Every day.
I would like to learn to be content with what I can do now without deciding I can't do anything. I want to LIVE until I die.
I need to be aware of the potholes of stress and try to manage them better. I got my mother's worry wart gene and it is tough to control. I remember my old General Agent's quote that "few people are bitten by gators but everyone is bitten by mosquitoes. It is the little mosquitoes that bleed you. They just do it slower and less obviously." I need to remember that and maybe tattoo it somewhere. Looked back at last year, and I see a parallel concern from then to "stop and sniff the roses." That may be part of the stress relief process.
Feel the fear, and do it anyway. Don't let what could be hold you back! Don't worry about things that haven't happened yet. Focus on the here and now. Enjoy the present. Live in the moment. And love super hard.
"Everyone has to start somewhere." My manager and mentor reminded me of this when there was a situation in our office that eventually subsided. But giving the benefit of the doubt, especially where inexperience is concerned, is especially important when mistakes are mad unintentionally. We all have to learn and start - young and old. So I've started again, and this time next year, I want to be like my manager/mentor, wherein I take the time to stop and think before I go all "critical mass" in ANY situation. Everyday is a chance to do the next right thing, learn a new skill and show some compassion.
I would like To have a better job; to be economically more stable. To be physically fit and happy with my work and life. "Chant for happiness" and this is what I am trying to do every day!
No matter what happens, stay strong and stay humble.
I would like to go into remission from Leukemia without the side effects. I'd also like to lose weight and get my blood sugar under control.
Be positive. Believe in miracles. Make the world a better place. Grace and gratitude! Let go of doubt and any thoughts I might have said the wrong thing.
I would like to improve myself by further working on staying in the moment both as a spiritual practice and as a way to control my anxiety disorders. In order to do that, I want to be much, much, much more disciplined about meditation and prayer. These are clearly the things that help me most...keep me in touch with myself and with G-d and help me to train my brain to BE HERE NOW. So, every other week I want to be at Mishkan Ha'am on Shabbat morning. Then, as I get used to my library job and the exhaustion that come with it, I want to get back to going to West End Synagogue on the other weeks. I want to have a meditation practice in the mornings. I want to do the whole Ma'ariv with Josie each night, not just Shema and Haskivenu.
I'd like to complete the Mussar and work on my pride, gossip, jealousy, compassion, and generosity.
I would like to focus more on my health and weight. I would also like to begin reading more of the classics. I would like to have an atlas or globe. My sister Melody has taught me not to fear the future. I hope to incorporate that faith into my life.
I'd like to be more sociable and adventurous. I don't know if I received a piece of advice from anywhere in particular, but this year has been very focused on who I am as a person, and I think I'm getting better at putting myself out there and taking risks rather than assuming it's not worth it. The just do it mentality is one I want to cultivate.
"take care of yourself" -- good advice for any year. my biggest lesson (by unfortunate example) was: prepare for your old age. divest yourself of the many unnecessary accumulated possessions before they overwhelm you and your household... it will be much harder the longer you wait. think about the available options for when you are no longer able to drive, shop, make financial decisions, care for yourself, move easily. plan accordingly.
Ask more direct questions before making accepting a job offer. Also, have more faith and confidence in yourself. You're not perfect, but you definitely have this.
I think I just answered that in question 6. I just want myself and my family and Rick and his family to become whole and happy and all to be serving God. I hope Rick gets his life straightened out and get his daughter back, as well.
Continue to get better at budgeting/saving. Continue to pay off debt. Do better at keeping up the house, doing chores, etc since they often fall to the wayside, Keep up going to the gym.
I was never good at following good advice. I mean I am currently ploughing through a working day while listening to online reviews of dildos. I would like to not be disgusted at my own physical person 100% of the time, but that just ain't gonna happen and I will probably forget to mind much more important stuff because of this ridiculous body obsession. Thanks society, thanks beauty standard, why don't you all just fuck off and die.
My good friend "Elvis" my brother from another mother; reminded me when I was talking about myself in a past tense, that is not who I am today and to stop that reference. That is good advice for me, even though there continues to be certain habitual, thoughts and patterns my 3 success strategies, meditation, yoga, plant based eating has transformed me along with the natural process of aging. The focus is who I am today and what I have today; right here and now!
Quit goofing off. Work harder. Bike more. Eat less. Read more Torah. Sadly, it's the same every year.
Still need to think before I speak. The Donald Trump fiasco will make this happen. And as Mae always says- focus on art and writing and don't succumb to distractions. Done!
I can do anything if I put my mind to it. I want to do something I love and enjoy
This year I want to stabilize financially. I want all my obligations paid in full and to increase savings. My intention: I want to invest in upkeep for my hone and turn my home into warm inviting place where I can entertain regularly. Advice received in past year to guide me: Stay focused on my core business and it will create an opulent overflow. I love my BOOMING SUCCESSFUL business and my BOOMING SUCCESSFUL business loves me!!!!
Several phrases come to mind; Don't sweat the small stuff. In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. The height of insanity is doing the same thing in the same way and expecting a different result. The three most important things are; to be kind, to be kind and to be kind.
I would like to do the following: (1) Learn to be not so reactive to the negative behaviors of those around me (2)Learn to have more fun and be more creative (3)Get into better physical shape (4)Figure out how to not be so overworked . As for advice or counsel, I'd have to turn to the literature on how to best deal with Narcissisic abuse...
LEARN TO WALK AGAIN!! I'm hoping this will help me lose some weight and gain back some self-confidence. Take it bird by bird. Plan a beautiful wedding and begin married life happily with Ben. Continue reading as much as I am, and even more, if possible.
Loose weight to be healthier. Get more active. Wanting to be healthy and active for my grandson and trip to africa.
There is so much about me that I would like to improve - so, maybe I should start with my self esteem so that I don't think I have so much to improve, eh? That and be a better ex-wife (as in hate my ex less), be a better mother (not sure about this one, we are doing o.k. now), lose weight (my goal since age 5), GET A JOB (which isn't really an improvement issue but more of a reality), when i get a job, be a calmer person.
Continuing to build legitimate friendships, this isnt something I counsel I received in the last year but in the last few years and is a process that's unfolding slowly. As I do make friendships locally additionally Ive heard I might be better living elsewhere so even though Ive fostered these relationships I might have to employ the same sort of social skills elsewhere. Im in career transition and though I dont need to do work for financial reasons it maybe beneficial for my emotional well-being and self-worth, self-respect. Moving to a city that can foster my skill-set and work environment along with a change of scenery might be best.
Be more accepting of things that happen as one ages, that are beyond our control.
I would like to create more, do more, be more. Embrace my own power and perceptions. Accomplish things, finish projects. I don't know what advice would guide me, these days I get snarky criticism rather than formal advice. But it helps.
Let go of the past, the people who have died this year are gone. Cherish the memories but it's water under the bridge and keep living life.
I hope to learn to balance a new life as a mama and still make sure to give appropriate time and love to Arnon, family, friends, work, and creativity.
I think I would like to improve by not improving, but rather accepting. I am not going to hate myself into perfection. I am having success teaching this year because I am less stressed, less worried about the students liking my assignments, less apologetic, but rather I pray for the people around me, I try to be generous to them. I am let myself fuck up and not feel so bad about it. So next year, I would like to pray for others more, and live in a place of love, not fear.
Really?!? I think 10Q should improve ITSELF. Why can't you come up with new questions. Why are you trotting out the same tired tropes year a after year? The underlying assumption that self-improvement is critical bothers me. Life is hard. Being an American is becoming increasingly hard. When Life hands us staggering circumstances, simply surviving them ~ not to speak of maintaining a little grace and perhaps humor in the process ~ is in itself miraculous. To be asked to even consider "improvement" beyond survival can shove one into shame. Questions like this smack of privilege. Why not come up with better questions for next year? Use this "piece of advice or counsel... to guide you." Thanks!
Be grateful. Remember those that have it a lot worse. Advice given by our Rabbi who sees it all. Feeling too much anxiety sometimes over nothing. Remember we have our health, many friends, peace with our family, financial security and a great job even at 67 years old. Dealing with Jared can be grueling and rewarding at the same time but we've made it a mitzvah. May we have a good year with him.
Next year I would like to step back a little from my "day job" and give some thought to what comes next: *Attending to creative urges, unfinished projects, and ideas. * Finding the spot where enough is enough in terms of economic security. * Physical and mental health self- care * Care for others - nurturing family, community and the plants and creatures in my neighborhood. * "Be the change," as the saying goes, in terms of consumption and conservation
Becoming more spiritual and energy-wise powerful, creating connections with the forces around me.
I want to focus on change. Change of habits, change of lifestyle. Dancing, sketching, writing, committing to more engaged version of myself. Not out of a sense of obligation, out of a place of joy and fun.
I want to continue on my goals to stay well and strong both physically, mentally and spiritually. I know I can't achieve this without putting the work in . From a Dan Nichols song " if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten" is something I repeat to myself often!
Discipline and Action. - Staying away from comfort and emotions building discipline in small ways accomplish what is important to me. Systems - Creating refining and following systems to accomplish the things that are important to me. Specifically for Marketing and Writing. If I can get better at those then... BOOM!
Any time i go off track in terms of exercising/eating right, within a month I can feel this autoimmune disease getting ready to "pounce." Slacking off, being too lazy to fix proper meals or to go to my special exercise classes just won't do. This gets harder as I get older -- but imagine getting older and being sicker too! Since I know this regimen works, I just must do it.
I would like to have more faith and confidence in myself. Distance myself from people that bring me down. Yes, to my own self be true.
As a couple, we have been learning to listen to each w. There are moments when it is very hard to listen to my spouse because it rubs the hard places; when my own angry, my grief, my anxiety and my fears overwhelm my ability to listen. I'm practicing active listening, trying to the phrase "what I heard you to communicate to me "and to respond in an authentic way. It has been very difficult, however our marriage is more fruitful.
Just relax! Try not to let myself be overwhelmed by work etc. Try not to get into financial tight corners.
I want to find a woman to spend the next hour, night, day, month etc with. The piece of advice I got that will guide me is look for someone who you view as an equal. Not someone better or worse than you.
By this time next year, I would like for my husband And I to be more of a team working together. I would like to see us living healthier lifestyles- More exercise , more eating cleaner. For me personally, I would like to get my emotions In control, respond better to his periods of withdrawal. The biggest counsel I have received is to only speak The word of God over my problems - dont complain About the problem. And to spend more time in the word with praise music playing in the background.
I would like to be more diligent in what I need to do. I have requirements that I need to meet so that I can feel Positive and in peace, but I don't follow through. Good piece of advice I received recently is to be disciplined. Discipline is key, but it's challenging. I can do it.
"What takes great courage is to manifest love" - and in manifesting that love, I need to stop people from Taking advantage of me.
Omg. This whole year is going to be about improvement. I am ready to surrender everything to god. I want to come from a very clean place with less negativity, jealousy, control, self-pity, self-doubt Let this next year be expansive and not limiting! God Willing!!!!
I want to end anxiety and fear. Regarding the former, I am learning to be persistent in trying to be calm and relaxed and don't try to hit a home run. The process is gradual. Affirm positive thoughts!
I need to be less impulsive, and I've known that for a long time but not really done much to control it. I can't say I can remember if I've been given advice, but I've been told on several occasions that I give very good advice myself. That makes me question why I don't follow my own advice. I need to work at that a lot.
Simply. Travel more. Save more for college and retirement.
Really good question (easiest way to stall for time when asked a question in person). In the last few years I've improved my public speaking a lot. In this year, through the MSc programme I think I've improved my writing a lot. Especially with regard to being able to write a more significant document, I have increased my abilities and grown in confidence. I think through this last major paper I will improve this skill and my aversion to creating large documents significantly.
Be more patient with people. Dont judge a book by its cover. Make your own choices, dont wait for others. Dont get annoyed by others if things dont go the way you want it to go. Just do your own thing instead. Doing stuff on your own is scary but might lead to amazing things. Waiting and getting grumpy because it doesnt go your way wont solve anything. Take time to think things through.
I would like to be heathlier. More stretching, more moving. Some balance if I can find it. Advice: Prof. Hughes. Limit your time on reading.
I would like to live in a more zen manner. I would like too get another good job or find another valuable product to work on.
I want to burn away the dross of my habits of reaction. I spend so much time taking care of others and being bitter that no one takes care of me, that I indulge myself is bad ways. I need to allow others to take care of themselves, and take care of myself in a healthy way.
I have not received counsel. But I want to be more daring and up for doing things. Less scared and insular.
Be true to myself at all times. Allow myself to feel without what other people are going to say. Embrace what is inside of me instead of shunning it.
isn't this just like the last question? i want to budget better. i want to settle debts, have insurance, and live without fear. i want to build good habits and become more disciplined.
I would like to learn how to better control my emotions. I've started meditating but I might last 5 of 10 minutes.
More open with what I'm feeling. I temper a lot of what I tell others, at the detriment of my own wellbeing. My therapist says that I have to honor what I am feeling.
Do more yoga. Take more risks. Be brave!
I would like to make a concerted effort to be more positive. My self image is at an all time low. I look in the mirror and feel defeated. I'd like to find some way to renew the belief that things can improve.
I would like to continue making new friends and working harder at keeping the old ones. I want to spend more time letting the people I love know that I care about them.
I'd like to continue my current work of living my life under less control of fear - just watching my fear responses come up and decide if I want to respond to them, rather than responding automatically.
I'd like to move toward greater acceptance of my lot in life, which includes major disability. I'd like to stay employed and use my resources for good. I'd like to ... maybe, to be open enough to hear the significant piece of advice when it comes my way.
Pay attention. Get healthy. Move. Run. Do yoga. Get ready to start a red tent group. Pay attention. Prep for retirement. Let go of stress. Be vulnerable.
Above all, I need to improve my physical well being. I have really never dealt with my weight issue for years and this may be my last opportunity to do so. My best friend gave me a "Come to Jesus" moment. I know how much he cares for me and doesn't want to lose me. I took his words to heart and vowed I would do everything in my power to change my situation so I could be around for a lot more years. I am going to start by reaching out to a professional who can guide me through this process so I make the right decisions and do it the correct way.
I joined the gym. I want to run again I want all my health back. And sleep. It will be so nice to sleep without gasping for air. Advice keep regular with the gym.
I think I answer this question the same way every year - I want to be more patient, less judgemental, and 'live with love", the theme Jonathan Aaron introduced for High Holy Days - the bracelet is a great reminder for me to enter into every interaction from a place of loe.
I need to keep slowing down and asking for what I want and need. And I need to be a better listener. I also want to grow in my job-be better, wiser and especially more able to let the things that bother me slide off. Ultimately, I need to remember that often doing less can enable me to do more.
I want to learn more about wine, and to become a sommelier by taking some classes!😁
I have recently entered the phase of my life as an 'empty nester' and so looking ahead my goals for this coming year are to be awarded my LMHC license so I may secure a job that is challenging, fulfilling and allows me to live comfortably. As the place I am currently living in is full of memories, I would like to move, so to have room to create new ones; which for me could mean a completely different state or a new home. As for my mind and body and I hope to come to a sense of peace, contentment and happiness. Most useful piece of advice given...be open to how life unfolds, while working towards your goals.
I would like to slow down, focusing more on being and less on doing. In my zest for living, many interests, optimism and FOMO (fear of missing out), I often feel overprogrammed. Last spring when I wanted to go to the ballet with book group and I also wanted to stay home and enjoy a nice dinner with my husband, my friend Marge said: sometimes you havre to choose between two good things. (I stayed home.). I often think of her counsel and want to remain grateful that almost all my choices are "good" ones.
I would like to improve my sleep cycle by getting up earlier and going to bed earlier. I would like to go to the gym at least once a week and ideally have an exercise routine that's 3 to 4 days a week I would like to be able to walk freely around my bed and into the office. (Omg, so much clutter!) I would like to have a blog - a space of written reflection- (not necessarily public) about topics that are meaningful to me. I would like to have consistent meanginful connection with one or two peers. Key word: consistent. ------------------ I get exhausted realizing that the things I listed above are all nice ideas, but I feel too over tired and without enough energy to do them. With regards to being guided to accomplish those things -I need to remember that there's no one that's going to make me do it- it's up to me and I need to do it for me - because that's what it means to love myself - to do something because I want to- for me- because I deserve it- I deserve to reward myself - to care for myself and to love myself - just as I learned in the various workshops and therapy I've gone to, and from my husband and from what I know from deep inside. Inside in a place where I am holding things in and keeping them inside. Holding things safe inside will never allow me to experience the potential of what would happen if I let them out. Words of wisdom from: myself.
This goes hand in hand with the last question. A wise woman, Ross, told me to "take the high road". If someone is frustrating and acts in a passive aggressive, or plain aggressive way, it does nothing to sink to that level. Taking the high road is better for everyone. It doesn't leave me with regrets and it may help improve communication between me and the person I am having the disagreement with. This time next year I will only have a few more months with Ross's office next to mine...
I would li.ke to be less reactive, more patient, and less judgmental of people
More JohnZen - finish 50@50 and launch it into an annual exercise.
Watch your tone! Even though I have mostly learned how to not say mean things, I have apparently not learned how not to sound mean. Several times this year I have had this pointed out, and I must take it seriously now as my next step in self-improvement. I would like to say that I am perfect just the way I am, but alas....
Get up from the recliner. Quit smoking. Love life every day Be grateful.
I would tell myself--take things slow when it comes to relationships. Ask yourself do you REALLY need something in your life (extra piece of cake, potentially toxic individual, money spent at the store). Don't worry so much about what other folks are doing--focus on yourself and the job you are meant to perform. As long as you are doing what you are supposed to, all will be okay.
I would like to make a personal commitment to getting back to crossfit 3 or 4x week and cutting back only drinking significantly. Dr. Rein said I should have no more than 7 drinks a week which I'm way over at this point. Getting more exercise and drinking less would lead to me getting better sleep and spending more time on the things that I enjoy the most - reading, spending time with friends, feeling strong and physically fit.
I'm tired of assholes but there's really nothing I can do about it so I'd like to learn how to tolerate them better and not let them get under my skin and make me so mad. I'd like a little more patience. Especially with my parents who are getting older and more forgetful and I have to repeat myself over and over. Or they have begun asking me really obvious and inane questions. That makes me mad but I know they're not doing it on purpose so I'd like patience with that as well. It's sad to see them getting forgetful and fall8ng apart. I want patience to be my first reaction. Not frustration and anger.
I think giving more to the world would be what I would like to improve. I would like to start small and foster and older dog and see how that goes. I would also like to remind myself, that life is made worthwhile by taking risks.
Focusing on lots of rules suggests that there is a should--you should be this way or that way. When you loosen your grip on should, sure, you expose yourself to uncertainty, to grey space. But you also make glorious room for what COULD be. You make room for possibility. You make room for yourself to grow in organic ways. Remember that you are already you. You don't need to set boundaries and parameters to make yourself so. You can learn and explore and allow your Self with a capital S to guide you.
I want to rid myself of the petty insecure voice that ends up pushing away those i love most. The best advice on receieved on this particular destructive behavior is from Dear Sugar (Cheryl Strayed's luminous advice column collection Tiny Beautiful Things). She points out this this little scared voice is the frightened part of us afraid to open and love and be generous and honest. Face it, talk to it, show that scared part of myself to be brave and trust and be frank.
Continue to serve others by focusing on serving the world unfolds for you too.
Learn to treat myself with gentleness, respect and honor and show those same traits to others. Dance Walk Sing Shout Smile Cry Laugh Love Learn to be ever more mindful, to acknowledge that perhaps, just perhaps, I too have a spirit.
I always say that there are different levels of letting go that one can learn. And I have learned different ways and reasons for letting go, I know how important it is and that it has good fruits (eventually). Still, there are times when it's really hard to practice letting go, of people, places, concepts, expecations... I would like to adivce myself to yes, let myself feel the pain or sadness of "letting go", but do it with more ease, trusting that it is good for life, for learning, for whatever it is that life will show me after I let go and am able to see the bigger picture.
Just keep smiling more; don't sweat the small stuff & relax.
Live like you have one year left . . . I am so very scared about what is coming, and though none of us can know, my circumstances heighten that feeling. Improvements . . . I guess I'd like to live honestly and compassionately. I'd like to give more and take less, nurture relationships, not wallow in catastrophizing, and have some grace in the face of change. I'd like not to decend into panic and sadness. Though I am not sure I'll be able to start being creative again, I'd like to create a foundation for being able to start. I'd like to like myself enough to truly take care of myself, to want to. And I'd like to be able to see the potential of all of these things whether I am alone or partnered.
At my grandmother's 100th birthday party this year, a few people mentioned that she always remembers birthdays, anniversaries, and other big dates. And that's without Facebook! I would like to be the person you can depend on to send a card. Also, the person you can depend on to send a card, who actually goes to the gym rather than just talking about it.
I think that having two "Friends" treat me so badly as helped to realize to turn a bit inward. These women who I had invited into my home dumped on me on a day that they acknowledged was awful for me anyhow. While I believe that Micki Smith Palmer was the instigator, the more that I learn about Lynn Steiber the less I feel that she was the dupe. I need to protect myself more and honestly give less. I worked hard at making HOTY special for both of those women because I knew that it was important to them and they stabbed me for it. I want to not take this shit as seriously but I also don't want to let nasty people in my life. Since they both so openly identify as "christian" that kind of gives me a starting point. Tell me you are 'christian" and I will tell you to get out. Walk the walk, don't talk.
Delegate more work to subordinates
JAY PRESENTED AN OFFER TO GIVE ME MEMBERSHIP TO THE REHFIT. I PLAN TO GET IN BETTER SHAPE
Have more patience with my Wife. Let things go faster. Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.
Live more without the "stories" which derail me. My feelings are spontaneous and my (brilliant!) mind is off on its way - analysing, projecting into the future, looking at implications immediate and long term - and it's all doing me harm. Even if I CAN do these things with my brain they are not helpful to me as a human being trying to maintain her health and sanity or even mental equilibrium
I want to be more attentive to my physical health; nutrition and physical strength. Taking it one day at a time. Moving, cooking more...
Cool head, warm heart. That's the mantra for this year.
To stick to my goal to lose weight, for my health and also so I can finally have my breast reduction surgery. My doctor, family, and friends give me encouragement along the way to keep going and to not focus on numbers, but small steps at a time.
Do it one step at a time. One minute at a time if necessary. Whatever 'it' is break it down into the smallest unit necessary to get 'it' done.
I hope to have a clearer understanding of what kind of a person I want to be and live intentionally to be kinder and more patient. I want to be focused. I want to be guided by the love of the women in my church.
I'd like to improve my meditation practice (daily and ongoingly). I'd like to be more patient, kinder, more accepting of others.
Believe in myself and focus on what is important to me :)
Understanding and embracing my connection to the infinite, creation, the miracle of this universe and the great circle of life, is a new way to think and still requires much practice. I don't want to be afraid of unknown things. I didn't know what it would be like to be born and so I have no idea what it will be like to leave this world behind. And if I was afraid to be born, I have no knowledge of that fear. In this same vein, I do not want to fear leaving this place or this physical body. I am connected to God; I am part of creation; there is nothing to fear. We are all born of the stars. This is where I want to return to when it is time.
I want to continue to develop good habits and routines. I'm starting to develop my own advice, in a way, and I recognize that when I have strong habits and routines, it allows me to both accomplish the things I want to accomplish most and be spontaneous and drop those routines without guilt when some other opportunity arises. I want to do more—more watching of TV shows and movies, more reading of books, more knitting of items, more writing of fanfiction, more writing of meta, more social events—and still maintain a clean home, a good GPA, and good relationships with the kids.
I would like to work on really visualizing myself in someone else's place so that I can have more empathy. I have empathy but could do better. I also want to continue to work on listening to others and understanding what they say. And making my communication to others clearer and more concise. I hope I will be a good grandmother and not feel competitive with my daughter in laws family. I hope I will reframe my relationships to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. I want to continue to be a support for my husband and children and give them my time. I can't remember specific advice but my relationships with family and friends are important and I hope we will all continue to love and emotionally support each other this year. And plan and take time to enjoy each other recognizing life is precious and short.
I would like to find a better balance between my childcare duties, volunteer work, exercise, social activities, and still have enough time for home/my husband. Who knew retirement would feel so busy?
Similar to yesterday's question, I would really like to be financially stable. Only spend what I'm able to afford and also save my money. I would also like to be in a loving relationship with myself as well as a boyfriend. I think I read for the 1000th time that you can only focus on a few things at once, and I believe that is really true. Health, finances, work, and love will be my focus.
I would like to improve my life by being a better saver. One day, I wish to have a few months paychecks saved, for a 'rainy day.' A few months ago, my pastor preached a sermon about how we are supposed to save so that our future generations will be blessed. That made me think of how my parents worked hard for years and now they are enjoying retirement. However if we (my siblings and I) need anything, my parents find a way to provide. While I don't have children yet, I want to be able to help my niece and nephews one day. After hearing the sermon, I prayed asking God to make a way for me so that I can start saving. Now that my brother purchased the condo, this will allow me to start saving. I just need to be more disciplined and stop buying alot of clothes and shoes. I hope that after I purchase a pair of jeans today and my boots from DSW using my bday discount, I will not have to spend for a while. Well, until Christmas! lol
I need to figure out how to keep up my activity level back in the U.S. where it is too easy to get in a car. I need to get back to a gym regularly.
I want to start checking all those things that I have on my "to do" list for a long time... I want to improve my health.
I would like to have more faith in myself. I have already begun to really embrace certain traits that I always despised, like my emotionalism --recently I had quite a breakdown with David, as the holiday approached and I knew I my kids wouldn't be around, and most of what I had known and thought treasured about the holiday would be missing. I got even more emotinal when David didn't respond the way that I thought would have helped. Later on, I felt grateful for my ability to connect to precisely with what I was feeling and able to experience and hold the pain. I felt the grace of the calm after the storm, and shared with David the fact that I saw alot of health in my emotionalism, and that emotional pain not experienced transforms itself to often to amorphous and foggy depression that has no beginning and no visible end in sight. He understood the part about the depression. I was glad I didn't apologize -- in fact I told him that it might happen again and it isn't easy for any of us to be around someone sad, but that he might be able to get used to the fact that this is part of who I am. Also, this whole thing with Elana and the comment I made. I am holding my fear about fucking up, on the one hand. And on the other, I really embrace the fact that I have an incredibly sharp ability to perceive, which is why I seem to hit the nail on the head sometimes in a way that people might not be ready for.. But mostly, I wish to embrace the belief -- knowledge,that there is a kind of grace in my life, you know one door closing and another one opening, that David appeared bringing so much warmth and wisdom and love for me -- so much spiritual inspiration. And getting the job at Shatil, and all the people who have supported me came after the retreat last winter, the non-progress with creating groups for English. The faith in grace...
I'd like to be more focused and disciplined with my use of time so that I can forge ahead with my writing instead of putting it on the backburner. I have no specific advice to guide me, but plenty of examples, like George Orwell who wrote daily even when the Germans were bombing London.
I did a mindfulness course at The School of Life and whilst it didn't change my habits in everything it did help me to worry less, and stop procrastinating. More of this would be useful. The other advice I've often received in the past is to seize the day, and although I have the freedom and resource to do it - I'm not seizing as many as I should.
I would like to be more active and involved in my community. The civilian community, by being involved in humanitarian and volunteer work, the nursing community (ditto), and the military community, through involvement in military events and charities. I need to get out of my shell and stop spending all my off-time hiding in my apartment. I want to reach a firm plan regarding my relationship and family. I never thought that Eddy and I would stay together while long-distance, but we've lived apart for a year and a half now, and it just keeps getting better. I need to know if he will commit to being with me, and more importantly, if he'll have a family with me. I'll be 32 next year and having kids is only becoming a more looming question with every year. We're going to have to have some difficult conversations, but it's getting to the point where I can't go with the flow anymore. I need to know what the next five years are going to hold for me.
Only the resualtion I put as number 6. No advice that could help me.
Do the right thing to others and not be judgemental of others as one should never assume others circumstances.