Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired?
Met an amazing person! I'm so grateful. It has changed my life.
I have had to come to terms with the fact that my husband is disabled. I continually fight feelings of resentment that because he has done very little to maintain the mobility he has.
Our son (only child) became a bar mitzvah. I am very grateful, and I feel inspired to strengthen our family's Jewish identity. I am also relieved that the event, modest as it was, is over!
Lots happened: 1) I worked at Auburn Theological Seminary, pushing me out of my Jewish bubble, providing me with rewarding experiences, and bringing awesome people into my life 2)I returned to JTS and had a much better year than I had anticipated. Some toxic people were gone, and new and better ones had take their place. Of course, graduating from there and being done with the institution was also significant. 3) I got a full time job. Grateful everyday for it because it's my dream job and I got to stay in New York City.
I moved out of my old apartment with the worst roommate alive to a new apartment with the best roommate. My old roommate would do things for me but then lord it over me, reminding me and expecting me to do something in return. This roommate, I mean jesus she has treated me to dinner twice in a week and a half. She has let me pay rent a week late because I couldn't affford it until my next paycheck. We dyed Easter eggs and watch Mulan at 10 o'clock at night. I don't hide in my bedroom anymore like I used to. Life is 110% better.
Well I lost over 30 pounds between december and i guess July? i did weightwatchers and it pretty much changed my life. That and the inclusion of Yoga into my life have improved my mood, given me self confidence, and made me look and feel better in general. I'm grateful that i was able to change my life in this way. I would recommend yoga and weightwatchers to everyone in the world who wanted to lose a few lbs.
I joined BBYO i am so incredibly grateful, relieved and inspired
Over the past year, a slow decline in my 16+ year marriage culminated, I fell in love with another, and the marriage fell apart. And then, somehow, through the pain and loss and anger, my spouse and I found each other and broke free of bonds that shackled us down and away from each other. Now, things in the marriage are better than ever before, although there was extensive collateral damage to family, friends, community and the other with whom I fell in love as a part of this. At this point, things are coming back together, although there is still a lot of grief and resentment, and the other one I love remains in deep pain and grief, which I feel.
A significant experience....ok well I guess the biggest thing I went through was Shawn and I breaking up and all the following drama. It's tough, losing someone you thought was your soul mate. But I got over it and I learned from the experience. So now as I enter my senior year, I'm ready to take on everything. I experienced true heartbreak.
My closest girlfriend had a baby. It made me realize that at this point in my life I am still selfish & immature & I like it that way. Seeing how starting a family has changed her life makes me grateful for the way my life is & thankful that my fiance feels the same way. I know I'm not ready for kids & don't know if I ever will be, but I'm ok with that.
I realized something I thought might happen and set my future in motion did not. It broke my heart. Then something else came around and as odd as it is, I'm hoping it might work out. If it does though, it might break my heart even more.
Found a partner and fell in love; have been in a relationship since the begininng of the year. Truly blessed and grateful to have this young woman in my life. It's been a great learning experience and we've shared many wonderful memories!
His name is Butler and he's a golden lab mix. I can't believe it was a dog who did it, but he taught me what unconditional love means. There's nothing that could stop me from feeling good with him by my side. He taught me what pride was when we eventually conquered fetching and what power can be in learning to read a person's feelings just from spending so much time together. Mostly, he made me matter because he let me take care of something that was incredibly special.
The past year has been steadier and less outwardly "eventful" than previous ones; my ordination, my child, and my pulpit, are no longer new! Positive experience: leading b'nei mitzvah services and hearing afterward, from an older Israeli lady, that she never knew services could be like that, never knew they could speak to her so directly or move her so deeply. I wanted to send a thank-you note to all of my rabbinic school teachers. Negative experience: being wrongly slammed as an "anti-Israel activist" by two rightwing Jewish groups in recent weeks. For all of my attempts to practice equanimity, that one really shook me. But on the whole, I'm ending this year feeling grateful. Grateful for my life and my work and my son and my spouse and my friends and my many different communities.
Alli and Chris separated. Alli was caught texting with another guy (2nd time she did this, although I didn't know about the first one). In my initial conversation with Chris back in June, he was very hurt and VERY angry. I decided to share the problems Phil and I had just to show him forgiveness and change could take place. I believe it fell to deaf ears. But I thought it was very generous to share that painful part of my marriage with him (and subsequently with Alli). It brought it all up again. Then when Phil said to Alli when the 3 of us were talking that an important reason we stayed together was that he didn't want to be divorced. Well, that hit hard and I questioned him about loving me. Of course, I'm grateful we are together, but not to have him say straight away that he loved me, hurt. Being outside of the Chris and Alli, I see the fault they both have in this mess.
I up and moved to New York City! Being at NYU is wonderful and perfect for me. I am SO grateful, relieved, and inspired! I definitely needed to get away, I needed new people in my life. I'm relieved that it turned out to be so great. (except for lack of straight guys lol) And, I'm definitely inspired to do great things in my four years here. It's going to be such a great experience for me, probably the best 4 years of my life.
9th July 2012. I was in Paris, sick and sleepless, in a really low place. I had a moment of total clarity about where my life was heading. It had all built up over the course of two years and suddenly I realised that I can not and will not continue on the same path I'd wandered down long ago - the easy path. Whatever the other path is, I finally had the guts to take it. I was going to stop running away, stop masking the real issue by going 'anywhere by here', and start to look to myself for change instead.
This year I had the chance to travel for 6 months to India and Nepal. I am incredibly grateful to have had the chance to spend 6 months doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted without any concern about how it will affect the way people think about me or the way my life will play out. I was living in the moment and it felt absolutely incredible. I gained a new sense of gratitude about my life at home and the respect that I receive as a woman that women in other parts of the world are being denied. I had my perspective reset by the situations I witnessed abroad and began evaluating what makes my life meaningful and how I would like to spend my time. Since returning home I've been a bit all over the map. I'm having trouble translating my experience into something relevant to my daily life. I have continued the practice of creating art everyday and trying to practice yoga/meditation daily but I'm finding the tranquility I experienced abroad impossible to achieve at home. I'm anxious and would LOVE to go back to my life of wandering.
I recently joined a new community for lifelong learning, and am starting to feel more alive and invigorated than I have during these few years of retirement. I am very grateful, and relieved to find this. Have been looking for it along while.
I attended the International Leadership Seminar in Israel through the BBYO and it was easily the most life-changing three weeks of my life. I spent three weeks with my old best friends, made new best friends, got closer to kids I knew, and got closer to kids I didn't know, all in my favorite place in the world. I got closer to these kids in three weeks than I have to kids at school in ten years. These friends mean more to me than anything. I came home inspired to do two things: Keep in touch with these kids, but also to get more involved in my Judaism, and I have successfully done both and will continue to do both because they both mean so much to me.
Started exercising and getting into better shape and health. I am so grateful and inspired!
I completed my MSIS degree. It hit me afterwards that this really was kind of a big f**king deal. After all, if Master's degrees were easy, everyone would have one. I'm grateful that I was able to complete the degree, as well as kind of relieved that I was able to do so.
I have started to learn to drive, which is big considering i live in the middle of nowhere. It has affected me because i am now looking at how much its going to cost me to keep running my little chirpy (car) and i am grateful to my mum even more now for driving me to all the places i've needed to get to my whole life <3
To pay off some debts my husband decided to take a job working out of state for the summer. We've never been apart this long and I wasn't sure how it would go. I spent most of the summer wishing time would go faster, which isn't a very fulfilling way to live. Spent too much time reading, sleeping and watching movies hoping that I would wake up and it would be fall already. But after 11 years of marriage we're strong enough in our relationship to get through it. He'll be home in a couple of weeks and we're looking forward to a great fall and winter together and appreciating our time together more than if we hadn't been apart. So I am thankful that we'll have a renewed sense of love for each other after the separation.
In January, I gave birth to my first child. Depending upon the day, I am all of the above. I am grateful that my husband and I were able to bring such a happy, healthy, joyful, strong, confident and adventurous child into this world. She truly is the best of both of us. I am relieved that my body was able to do this. Prior to pregnancy, I was a runner and a beginner cyclist. I knew what my body could and could not do and handle - but to grow new life is incredible... and relieving at the same time! At some times, I am resentful... but not of or toward my child. Sometimes I resent that I feel that all of the world's obligations and responsibilities rest on my shoulders, and it weighs me down at times. However, at the end of the day, I am inspired by my daughter. She gives me hope that I can do more and be more - I can model for her behaviors and skills that I want her to exude. I want her to be strong, confident and above all, healthy and happy. And I know for her to do and be these things, I have to do the same for me as well.
I had my second baby, Shimshon Rafael. I am supremely happy. Since I am already a mother, there was no adjustment to him, and we are both very happy with our new little son.
I got a job!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!! Finally!!!!!! I am so completely overwhelmed with gratitude and relief and joy because it has been such a struggle. I feel like after a long time I was finally heard and I am super inspired to excel in my work. Todah, todah, TODAH!
I learned that my partner was lying about not drinking. I feel profoundly dismayed, my heart at odds with my brain. I would like to see my partner stop drinking and recover, but I'm both intellectually skeptical and also reeling from the experience of betrayal. I'm deeply troubled by how weak and primitive my partner seems to have become.
I was used as someone's rebound. I did gain some friends out of the process, but I should know not to rush to be physical with someone so soon. It is really not his fault completely, but it's hard for me not to resent him. At least I hope that I have learned not to get involved with those that are going through transitional periods in their lives. Even though on a mental level I know this, I keep making this same mistake. I really hope I do not make this mistake again, but I am afraid I will. Maybe seeing this at this time next year will help me in the future.
I don't think anything really significant happened to me in the last year. It was kind of awful actually. I learned to drive - not that I really care about having a license anyways. I decided to go to Grad School - never really wanted to go, but I couldn't find a job and was just getting more and more depressed living in Woodland.
I met Jeremy. Period, end of story. The other half of my soul, my best friend. It was so relieving and yet so wonderful at the same time. I love everything about that man.
I really didn't have any significant experiences this past year and I am grateful for that.
This has been such a significant year... The business failed at the beginning of the secular year. There's a lot of regret around that and a lot of resentment, I'm afraid, though I'm trying to let go of that part. There's also a pretty huge amount of relief...
I went back to school! I think I had given up hope on ever actually making something out of my life, but going back to school, loving it, and succeeding there has really opened up a whole part of myself that I had been ignoring. I'm intelligent, rational, goal-oriented, driven, and ambitious.
I went to Europe this year. I am grateful to have the time and opportunity to go, to have fulfilled an important goal of mine, to take a train along the Mediterranean, to have seen Barcelona. I had some lovely experiences with other people. I'm inspired to continue traveling, to go to places that have meaning for me. I also have hurts along with the memories, in that my partner and I broke up and was not with me, so the experience is very bitter-sweet.
I went through a lot of changes this year: one of my closest friends passed away unexpectedly, another close friend's mother passed away, and my cousin got shot in the back in the war in Afghanistan but luckily lived. It made me think about life differently and value the people closest to me.
My decision to convert to Judaism. This is a life-changing decision that has been so many years in the making and was put on the back-burner; it is the truest expression of my authentic self. Born with a Jewish soul, a Jew born to Gentiles who are actually descendants of Anusim, I was called to the Jewish people and faith from my earliest memories of childhood. I am inspired and grateful by the acceptance I have come to experience at my shul and am relieved that my parents are semi-supportive this time around. I resent that I did not do this earlier in my life, but my life was so chaotic and filled with many other issues that needed to be addressed before coming to Judaism with a clear head and a humble, sincere and open heart.
Two significant things have happened to me. One positive, one negative. I had my little boy, which was and is an amazing experience. I've waited my whole life to get here and he is everything I dreamed of. Then my fiancé; his father, left me. Which destroyed a lot of the things I have dreamed of.
This year, I fell in love in the more passionate and tumultuous way than I ever dreamed possible, with someone who was not the right guy for me, and who was unable to reciprocate my feelings. I'd never felt something so intense, particularly as it came on the back of almost a year of feeling numb and emotionless. The months of tears and stress that I endured were made worth it, though, every time he looked into my eyes and I felt complete. Even though things didn't work out, I'm finally at peace with that, and I understand that even if we weren't soul mates like I thought, I don't regret one second of loving him. It would have been easier if we never met, but I wouldn't take back the knowledge of how deeply I can love for the world. Now in the next year, I hope to find someone who will feel the same way, and who loving to that extent won't hurt.
This year I moved home, to Boston. I am overwhelmed by the decision and the process. Leaving NC was one of the best and most challenging things I have ever had to do. I built a life there, had a community and a family, and now I am disconnected from them. Despite phone calls and emails, its not the same. I am extremely grateful to be home here in Boston, where I can start my life and begin to figure out what my future might look like.
I surprised myself by getting pregnant. Mostly I feel exhausted and kind of miserable about it, truthfully. Like I added another 10 years to my sentence, and another $60,000 I don't have for a college fund. (I have a nearly 10 year old son, with a pitiful college fund.) But the baby doesn't deserve my ambivalence. She (at least I think it will be a she) deserves the warmest of welcomes. She didn't ask to be born. So I'm using the time to take stock, both of this impossible world we're living in these days, and also of the ways my own life feels like a struggle, even though I am very blessed compared to most. It feels like a turning point in my life, and our life as a family, and I don't know which way to turn. I'm looking to God for guidance about where to go next -- not just for myself, but politically, for the wider world.
We bought our first house! It was undoubtedly more terrifying than getting married and having a child; certainly carries more paperwork and prying into your personal life. Funny, since any idiot can have a kid. But where money is involved...
My oldest son went away to school. I have missed him terribly, but it is also freeing. It has deepened my love for him. Because we don't have the little day-to-day irritants of living in the same house, we are both able to appreciate each other more when we speak on the phone or see each other. The dynamics in the house have changed and I now am enjoying the luxury of focusing on my younger son and strengthening our bond as well.
This past year i took a quarter of my school year to study abroad in israel. By far it was the greatest experience i have had in my life. Being in israel helped me realize my jewish history and my passions in life. Being in israel made me realize i wanted to work in foreign affairs in the future maybe even move to israel
A significant experience for me this past year going to Sierra Leone on a mission trip with Africa Uplifted. It was definitely a wonderful experience; I got to be very close with my fellow trip members, I went to a new part of the world & experienced lifestyles I'd never encountered before, and I learned so much about myself, others, and what it's like to be thankful for what I have, but not feel bad about it. Doris is a great human being, and I can only hope to be as selfless and helpful as she is.
My company has a Sabbitical program, for every 6 years you work there you receive 6 weeks off. I added 3 weeks vacation time and travelled to Europe. I learnt 2 main lessons that I'm very grateful for. Firstly, I learnt that I really need very few possessions. I had a carry on suitcase and a backpack. I did buy a few additional items of clothing but nothing major. Since coming back home, I've been reviewing my possessions and only keeping those I truely love and need. Secondly, I re-awaken my love for Europe. So much so that I'm now conflicted about where I want to live. Much as I love San Francisco, I don't know that this is my Home. Much as I love Europe, I don't know that it's Home, either. So, lots of thinking, planning and chanting to do to discover Home.
I moved to San Francisco. Without Nathan. We broke up and I was relieved. Then he called me horrible things and I dislike him immensely now. He tries to be civil, but he can't take back the things he said. There's no point repeating them. He's supposed to be forgotten. I am a girl in the city. I walk and bus everywhere, I teach unfortunate black kids very, very basic musical concepts, I intern with a startup dating website and flirt with other tech startup nerds. I live with three SF State girls and they're okay. I'm subdued right now. I am at war with my grandfather because I want to lug my queen-sized bed to my new SF apartment on the second floor. I am going to do it. I am.
I had a cardiac health scare. I experienced severe chest pains and had several ekg tests, a stress test and am following up further. The consensus is that this is a GI problem. I am feeling much better. My reaction was to feel very strange about being the person here who is unused to being sick. I have been very self-satisfied about my health in the past. I am both relieved and grateful but also more aware of my age and my tendency to take my good health for granted. My family and my friends and my Rabbi were extremely helpful and supportive.
I became pregnant with twins in July. Shock, Stress, Depresssion, overwhelmingness, anxiety, extreme happiness. I am grateful, relieved and very inspired.
My husband almost died from heart failure in February. I was desperate and afraid. I am so grateful that he survived, and that our doctors are kind and wonderful and devoted their careers to healing.
I completed the UC Berkeley extension class leading to a certificate in copy editing. I'm grateful and relieved and hopeful that it will bolster my second career as a copy editor when I retire after 335 more shifts as a nurse.
Schedule changes at work. Many changes and challenges. Viewing then as challenges and not threats and trusting Hashem more
We moved! We went from living in a condo in the city to living in a dorm parent apartment on a boarding school campus. Our life is SO different now! Much of it for the better -- it's an idyllic place to raise a young child. But we're still adjusting! We are grateful for the opportunity, but we're a little overwhelmed by it all.
My babies were born! Well, really, I got pregnant AND my babies were born in the last year! It is amazing. I am grateful, relieved, exhausted, confused, all the feelings all the time all at once. I never would have guessed this time last year that I would be a mom to TWINS!
I got married! It was the right decision for Jonathan and me. This is a second marriage for both of us. We're happy and I feel fortunate.
Definitely way to many significant experiences to count. However, one of the top fives choices was my entire relationship with David. Now, I feel a little confused on the subject, but at that time, it was exactly what I needed.
I promise to send this to you no matter what happens between us. You, you, you, you, you, you special, special boy. I'm this toxic human being that hates relinquishing control over anything. Holden Caufield said 'don't tell people anything cause then you'll start missing them' or something like that rings so true because everytime i share something with someone I feel like a part of me is with them, now and forevermore. and you. I dish so much shit at you, everytime I'm scared of how much I love you, how much you mean to me i start getting cruel and defensive and my words are blades, oh, i know and you take, take, take, take, tell me you love me, kiss me, you walk downcast but I mention it and you put a smile on and you tell me you love me. You're the single experience in the past year that's been the catalyst for so many things. I love you so, so, so much. I'm so terrified by the tenuous and delicate strings of control that I can't seem to grasp. You say that I can walk away, but I can't, because I think I love you the way the world turns. on it's axis and minutely(i was acutely aware of falling for you, you know, i knew it, but i didn't quite feel it and when i felt it, it awed me) The significant experience, is, from friends to lovers(that word makes me wince- but you're love and a verb for that would be: LOVER) please don't go stay with me, stay with my weird neck and love handles and stretch marks and hairy arms/legs/stomach/everywhere and slightly crooked teeth. thank you thank you for letting me know that love is possible.
I had many significant experiences this year, but perhaps the most memorable was my participation in the annual swim from Alcatraz. I had been planning on doing that swim for close to a year and as the time approached I grew a bit nervous about it. It wasn't that I couldn't swim the distance, but I've always been a little afraid of open water. I conquered my fear and did the event and in a good time. This past year has really been marked by taking on physical challenges and meeting them. I'm determined to continue living that way, to tackle scary things and approach challenges with the motto, "What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail."
The most significant experience in the past year has been the death of our friend Leo. It was formative and tragic and I think one of the breaking points in life where you realize what is at stake, and how fragile everyone really is. We are existing on this planet by some twist of fate and design, and we would benefit from remembering that more often. It affected me by making me realize that things are temporary. Happiness, sadness, breathing, living. They are all ultimately temporary. And they are all ultimately gone. It made me feel grateful - to have known Leo and to have the people in my life who I do.
During this year I have found out I'm having a baby! Due on FEb.25, very excited can not wait for my baby to come.
This past Summer I went and spent 3 months in The Republic of Georgia. It was the first time I traveled somewhere and really missed home. It affected me because I have spent 6 months traveling SE Asia where I was much happier. I'm not sure if it was the legacy of the Soviet Union on the people that got to me, or if I just didn't try hard enough to get to know the culture and people, but I am unsure of how it will affect my future travels. I don't want to lose my sense of adventure, but I think the travel bug might be dormant for a bit longer this coming year...
I helped search for a drowning man who did not know how to swim. He was a Burmese elephant caretaker who was playing in a river with friends. He misjudged the depth and sank. By the time someone called for help and I arrived on the scene, several minutes had passed. I hesitated in the decision to sprint across Elephant Nature Park to aid. When I did, I helped pull the bloated and already bluing man out of the river--blood leaking out of his mouth and nose. I knew he was already dead, but a guest (doctor) began rescue breathing and CPR. They loaded him into the back of a pick-up, and we had confirmation of his death within an hour. The experience left me questioning my strength, resolve, courage, and moral conviction.
Mike and I broke up this past year. It was the most terrible and most wonderful year of both of our lives because of it. We are closer, stronger, and more in love than before. Although we are still no longer together we both reflect on and recognize that now is just not our time. We will see what the future holds, but for now we are better people because of this.
Daughter entering high school-beautiful thing Husband switching jobs and getting a little crazier--stressful Son growing a beard--amusing
I worked on a project that changed me. I realized that I love to imagine how things are and then set to work building them. I found out that I do my best while collaborating and it energizes me to work alongside others who are busy working toward the same goal. After the project ended, I realized this is what I want to do all of the time and am looking for a way to work that will bring me joy; otherwise, it's not worth doing.
I finally went back to my doctor. She doesn't accept insurance. So, I've been saving to go back to her. She is more than a doctor. She's a true healer. I've been trying to be mindful about my health for the last 5 years because I didn't have health insurance. I'm asthmatic and not using prescription medication but otc inhaler that is no longer available. It turns out my health is good with just a little tweaking needed. I am relieved and validated in the choices I've made about my health.
My husband died in April after 2 liver transplants. He was 43. He died 8 yrs to the day that we met. I was/am still/will forever be devastated. Watching him die that last night and having to tell the doctors to disconnect the life support will forever be seared in my brain. I am angry, sad, heartbroken, jealous. I will never be the same. I will never again be completely whole.
I came very close to getting a divorce. My husband and I had seemingly lost all power of communication, our finances were out of control, we weren't spending quality time with our children, and I was miserable. I thought there was no way out. I even put a lawyer on retainer. But after many therapy sessions and a lot of ongoing work, we're still together. It will never be perfect. It will never be effortless. But the best things in life are worth fighting for. Our relationship and our family are some of those things. I am relieved, grateful, and hopeful.
My children graduated from college. One is employed and one seems unmotivated to find work and doesn't seem excited about a future career.
My life has been placed on pause, then resume, then pause again. I have just begun to make changes that will hopefully move me toward the path I've been searching for. Career and health. I have been grateful and resentful. Anxious and relieved. Inspired and stuck. But all seems to be with a greater plan set in motion by someone looking out for me.
A couple things: - My grandmother passed away after a 4+ year bout with dementia. I felt nothing but overwhelming relief for both her and myself. - The day after my grandmother died, I was admitted to graduate school. Joy!! - Last week, Dave died. Still processing that one.
I filed for divorce. I am grateful that I gained the courage to do so and I am learning who my friends are thru the process. I am inspired daily by my own resilience and the strength I find to work and take care of my children and continue to be a friend to those that are true friends to me
We reached out sixtieth anniversary in good health and with our minds intact. Obviously, slower--my husband, nine years older than me, is nine years older now in his reactions to things, but he is still my good companion and I love him. Never did I think we would be married sixty years. It seemed impossible to even reach fifty years when we were first married. I am so grateful that we do not suffer from any disease or pain (finally rid of back pain) or dementia.
I often feel that I'm not really making a difference in the world, but 2 experiences come to mind that remind me that I do make a difference and make me keep on trying. 1 - I'm mentoring a refugee family and the wife participates little, but their only son was having his first birthday in the US and they planned the birthday cake for when I was their - I guess I am making a difference. My brother calls me when he is having troubles/doubts about a relationship he is on the verge of turning into a marriage - & really listens to what I say. As I kid, I came second to the 2 boys but I do have a significant role now as a big sister.
My Lord, it was a weird year! Just now I couldn't think of one significant thing and then it started raining in my head. I'll say the leak in the kitchen was a significant thing because it required the floor being torn up and industrial dryers to be installed in and under the house for 2 weeks, blowing 24 hours a day, sounding like an airplane taking off in the house. And I lived here through that period. Work every day. Acted/pretended like it wasn't happening. A month later, the wind blew off part of the roof and took out the giant tree in front, blew over fencing. These are little things, material things, but they piled up, along with major car trouble/expenses, and I was completely alone and broke and terrified through it all, at a new job where I didn't know people and didn't get support. I kept to myself, was numb and carried on as if it weren't happening, the way I did as a child when Dad was drunk. I survived it. Now I say, what else have you got? I'm waiting. I'm going to say it didn't affect me at the time, though it sounds like denial. I pretty much never realize my feelings in the moment. I don't react initially and later I realize what happened and have the corresponding emotions. I held my breath until vacation and then I healed. Now I feel stronger, like I can take on anything. Maybe. Sort of. In theory. I'm grateful that it passed and I'm still here. I do think I might have been a little suicidal for a few fleeting moments now and then when I felt too beaten down in a hole from which I'll never escape. I am sort of cozy here in this hole now. (Ask me again next year.) That reminds me--last year's answers sound so positive! And that may have been one of the worst, most painful and difficult years of my life! What spin I'm capable of!! I'm relieved that I'm comfortable with myself in this setting, alone. I like who I am. I have fun. But I'm a bit too isolated. I want to celebrate more. I'm not resentful. Not now. I was toward my wealthy sister because of the promises she made before abandoning me. Debt stuff. Money. Eww. I let it go because I made it work. There have been a million (well, lots of) miracles in timing with my finances. I've held on by the skin of my teeth, and not with a savior sweeping in with big dollars but thanks to coincidences, savvy, and I'm telling you divine intervention! Stars aligned. Fate. Grace. Whatever you want to call it. Yeah, I suppose I'm inspired. Looking forward to the next challenge, which today is not relapsing after a terrible virus, getting lesson plans done including morning prayer sheets for my advisory students. Being clear so I can go to Neal's mom's funeral this week, when she dies. (She's off the tubes for several days but still alive. Amazing. Miraculous?)
A significant recent event is the gathering of a new girl tribe. One that is filled with positivity, light, gratitude and new experiences. It's so important to grow, shift and change along with the ebb and flow of life. There have been many significant expieriences this year, many of them negative but the tribe of women, is all positive. I'm inspired for the next positive change they bring.
My work world/business has really settled in and taken off. It has allowed me to take take a deep breath from the financial side. Yes, I am grateful and relieved. And inspired. It has taught me to stick with something and to realize that I am not in total control, but that's o.k. Enjoy the ride a bit.
I traveled out of the country for the first time in 40 years. I felt so blessed each time I woke up, saw the sky and the land and the people. I felt grateful for the opportunity to be overseas, and to experience a new culture. It has made me want to travel even more and to do what I can to bring people and countries together.
Last November, around my 21st birthday, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me. Completely out of the blue. I was devastated and for a long time I was depressed. Almost a year later and I am happy and thriving. I found out who the really important people were in my life. I'm on the track to find out who I am without a guy at my side. I haven't had any significant relationships since but I found I don't really need one to be happy, nor do I really want one right now. I'm on the track to graduation in May and I'm finally where I want to be.
I completed my first year of service in Baltimore City. It was an absolute change to move from San Diego to Baltimore in July 2011 without ever having visited before and to purposefully choose to live in poverty alongside the community I served. Baltimore has inspired and confused me. Upon moving here I felt immediately that the city was familiar, comfortable, and welcoming to me. It inspired me to commit to another year of service, this time with an organization that values my contributions and wants me to excel. If I play my cards right, I may have a full time job available to me at the end. But my "plan" was to go to grad school and into the Peace Corps. Will Baltimore keep me longer than expected? Will I still pursue international development or focus on the local instead? I'm not sure at this moment...
The fire at the house. I guess it required me to slow down, again. I think I better learn how to slow down without major crisis events causing it..!
The birth of my youngest grandchild. I experienced awe, seeing this little being and knowing, than hoping, than praying she would grow up to be a unique ,happy, loving person . She was named after my brother who recently died. There was a flood of memories that brought a tinge of sadness with a mountain of joy. This little one will always remind me of him. While I long to help in her care I wonder whether I will physically be able to--Love I can give, a smile and a touch but can I run with her will I be able to lift her up. I certainly hope so. I will find a way. More than one road exists, trailblazing is a good thing. L'Chaim.
I rented my home where I hung my hat for twelve years and moved to a new state, buying a home that I'm not as fond of as my old one yet love that it is near both my daughters and their families. This was all part of my plan that I've worked on for over two years. I'm grateful I was able to buy a home and not have to wait until my prior home sold as the real estate market is not good. I continue to work part-time for TPS and will start a real part-time job next month writing for the local newspaper...another goal I set.
The most significant thing that happened, after two of our best friends died, is that my husband was injured a Segway accident, while we were on a vacation of mercy with a friend. Ron is now walking but when I think back on it, the experience seems even more fearful than when we were going through it and going through it was no joy. We were locked in Florida for almost a month, without the physical presence of family and friends, and we had no one to rely on except each other. Family and friends kept in touch by e-mail but it wasn't the same. I learned three things: 1) that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger; 2) no matter how bad your story, there's always worse and people will make certain you hear about it; an 3) there's no place like home. I am grateful that we both survived, relieved that we're home and resentful that it happened. I'm also not thrilled with my brother who never came to see me during the whole month. Finally, I'm inspired to do better this coming year.
In my department at work, we've been through a lot of staff changes and transitions. We've lost staff, hired several, and reorganized so that I began working with a different supervisor. That was pretty traumatic initially -- my previous supervisor is a great friend, we have similar work and management styles, and we've been through a lot together. But my new supervisor has a lot of strengths that I can learn from, and I'm a little chagrined to realize I need that different influence over my work. Really, a big part of the difficulty of the change was admitting that I did need it. It will cause me to grow as a manager and as a person and has already improved my confidence in my role, although initially it raised a lot of insecurities for me. There is still more to learn, and I'm looking forward to demonstrating back to my new supervisor why I can be as valuable to her as she will be to me.
Phantom closed. Theoretically this wasn't a bad thing because I'd been there for two years and was starting to get stuck. Also we had plenty of closing notice to prepare our finances. The knowledge of the impending closing is the reason we decided to get married swiftly and thus why we had such a lovely, small, affordable private wedding. It's also the reason that we decided to take the plunge and produce our own show, while we had ready money. These are great things, amazing things, that I couldn't be more grateful for. But since the closing of Phantom I have been in a dark place, verging on depression. Everything seems foreign in this new life. I don't know how to eat properly, how to keep control of myself, how to have fun. I have the nagging fear that my performance career is over. I feel old. I don't dance right for this city, which wants such commercial, non-technical dancing. I know that the closing of Phantom is the opportunity to grow. But I loved life the way that it was, even t hough it was limited, even though it was a grind. Now I have to create another life that I love like that. I have great tools -- a husband I love more than I could ever imagine, wonderful step kids, and plenty of possibilities. Now I'm just taking it one day at a time, trying to bring that all to its potential.
Many opportunities to be grateful. Continued to support my daughter during her suicidal time; THANK GD she is well and on her way to recovery. Difficult time; asked for help from my community to pray. I am forever in gratitude. An amazing practice. ALSO WAS ORDAINED! What an amazing, awe inspiring experience. I have taken on my new role as Rabbinic Chaplain, Pastor, Hazzan in a new way. May this year be a year of continued blessings and healing - especially for my daughter.
Traveling to Israel on a human rights trip and seeing the degree of injustice and hatred visited on others by fellow Jews. It depressed me greatly and impressed on me the need for love and compassion in our world.
This is such a hard one. The dying of my husband/best friend/lover 14 months ago is still the most significant event in my life although it was over a year ago. If I had to choose something this year it would have to be volunteering at Greenbelt and on Lindisfarne as it was during these times that I started to spot the new me, the me without Patrick.
Earlier this year I experienced my first stay in hospital. It may not seem significant to others, however I was in Japan at the time, where I was living - and all my family were 6000 miles away. The Drs were able to determine what was making me ill, but not really why. Now I am back home, and still undergoing some tests... This experience has made me realise that life really is short, and that it is important to appreciate and value what you have in life; family, friends, health etc.
I got pregnant with our first baby. It brought a range of emotions - excitement, anticipation, joy, happiness, and nervousness. More than anything we are thankful that God has blessed us with this gift and hope for a healthy baby in 8 weeks! Importantly, it gave me something that defines me outside of my work. It's been nice having something to think about and plan for other than my job. It's also brought a change in lifestyle - we are spending significantly less money on fancy dinners, booze, and entertainment, but more on the house, planning for baby, and healthcare. After 7 years of marriage, we are as busy as ever, but ready to start the next phase of our lives.
This year I became a rabbi. It felt simultaneously profoundly life-altering and profoundly mundane. Like, "Yeah! Of course I'm a rabbi!" and "OMG I can't believe I'm a rabbi." The process of going through the schooling and doing the work lead me to the point where by the time the final ceremony and celebration came, I already felt like a rabbi. That moment wasn't so transformative. It was not a magical transitino to some new part of me, but an affirmation of who I had already become. And yet... and yet! I was overwhelmed with emotion and glee. The moments for reflection and gratitude at the culmination of such a transformative years-long process were intense - exhausting and exhilarating. I felt relieved and sad and happy and humbled and proud and grateful all at once.
I got to go to Israel and it was incredible. It made me so much more religious, and I'm so grateful. It made me so much more grateful for the life I live here. There are people that don't get to experience just relaxing because they're always worried about bombs. I know it inspired me to be a better Jew especially after seeing what a strong base we have there. There are almost no Jews where I live, and I get really frustrated and down about my religion, but when you go to Israel you're surrounded by other Jews and its so powerful and moving.
This year I lost my only brother to heart disease. In the aftermath of this loss I feel grateful for my time with Howard, and for the way family drew even closer in support of mutual grief. I'm relieved to have gotten a medical baseline on my heart health, as he had requested I do, because of the family disease. And I am inspired to live up to Howard's example of making each day count and living each as though it were my last -- filled with energy, love and family.
This is a hard question to answer, because so much has changed in my life this past year. I moved downstate for grad school, met a great group of friends in my program, and began working with clients for the first time. Overall, I believe that the greatest experience that has happened since grad school is an ongoing one. My self-confidence has increased tremendously, and for the first time I am starting to feel independent, capable, and happy with myself. Although I miss my fiance (who is away at his own school), I feel that this opportunity to "start fresh" has helped me discover myself, my abilities and passions.
My husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's. His cognition is impaired and is progressive. During the examination by physicians, I was so emotional to see the disconnect in him that I cried. I was not aware of how severe it was, or could become. I am grateful that it is not worse and relieved that he can continue working and other activities. I am inspired by those, such as Michael J. Fox, who have achieved so much. It is a daily struggle and when I see others who are successful despite the disabiliity, whatever the disabiliity is, I know we can make it. Shortly we will be each attempting to contact support groups. I am amazed at how successfully he is dealing with the differences in our lives. We hope we can keep moving forward and that the progression stays where it is and does not increase.
I was granted my 100% disability. I am super relieved it's over and blessed because I got everything I could have gotten. Paid off second mortgage and in return paid off MasterCard! Bought new car Bc of extra money... 5772 was a great year for me and the boys! HaShem blessed me in a huge way
I made a baby. It's terrifying and exciting. I want to be a good father and lead my kids correctly.
I sent my 2 youngest children to college. I assumed that, even though it's a momentous event, I would have no issue with them going, and that's almost true. Now that they've been gone a month, I don't think about them every day, don't wonder what they're doing, have fewer pressing questions about how things are going when they call and definitely enjoy the quiet of the house. On the other hand, not having them present with their observations, questions and suggestions is a loss. That's probably the biggest loss. On the other hand, having them around this year, done with high school, and, even going to college and living here, would not be the same and they'd be missing out on so much. I'm grateful to still have their respect and desire to include me in the details of their lives even at a distance.
I led a group of colleagues and others on a trip to Germany. I wasn't the primary organizer of the trip (the visionary who made it happen), but as President of the Cantors Assembly, much of my work of the last year involved preparing for the trip -- encouraging people to come on the trip and to get others to come on the trip, etc. Although being a leader of this group of 70-75 cantors and a total of 300 did bring the excitement anticipated and the contradictions to be expected in visiting a place that was the source of so much of Jewish life and culture, but which was the host and force behind the sin committed against my people and others of unimaginable magnitude, the image that I keep flashing on is something that happened AFTER the trip, when we were able to take a wonderful family vacation --a Rhine River cruise. It was then that I recognized (or remembered) that the story of Jewish life in Germany (and elsewhere) wasn't just a story of going along fine until the Holocaust came along -- but rather that it had been interrupted previously in terrible ways -- through the persecution of Jews in the Middle Ages. The Jews who were living then ALSO had contributed beautifully to the society around them -- also had great culture that has been passed to us. They too were swept out -- for centuries. I find myself intent on focusing on OUR culture and history -- not that of the perpetrators. And I think this is a step forward. It makes me want to go to more places where my people have been kicked out and stand in strong testimony that we are still here -- and that the host culture lost a lot by sending us away. It's sad that there are so many places with that story -- but great that we are still here to remember, and to live a worthwhile Jewish life in the present and future.
I was advanced to senior status in Rabbinical School. I will be (B"H) ordained on January 13, 2013. This has made me ecstatic, as well as terrified. It has meant a lot of additional work, mostly to complete things I left hanging when I wasn't doing so well three years ago. But for the most part, it's been an amazing and joyous ride toward a goal I've had in my head since I was about 14 years old. (In human years, that's 37 years of my life.) I hope I can live up to it!
My grandma died. I feel so alone and so sad and it's so hard moving forward knowing that she's no longer around. The world without her in it seems so much more distant for me and I'm struggling to connect with people right now. I don't know how to move past that feeling but strangely that feeling of total disconnect is what I felt when I came home from Israel. Maybe the answer can be found in a stronger connection to Judaism?
I wrote a book called An Unintended Journey: A Caregiver's Guide to Dementia. I am relieved that I completed writing the chapters well before the deadline. Writing this book has helped me understand dementia in the context of my mother and has showed me that I am a good problem-solver. I do wish that my mother and I had shared a different kind of relationship. But given the circumastances,I did the best I could.
My "boss" and teacher at the PHD did not pay for a job that I did for him at January 26th. He thought he was irreplaceable and could do whatever he wanted with me. He never imagined that at July 7th I could say to him: farewell, good bye! I am happy that I could react this way. I am not totally free, because I still depend of the last signature from him to change the (mastermind? fuglemen?). Because of that I still not relieved. It’s point to a woman that is firm and is working to grow up (me).
Going to Alabama for alternative winter break was amazing. We helped build habitat for humanity houses. I got to know Brian really well throughout the trip and now he is one of my best friends. We wouldn't study Torah now if not for the trip. Living on a Jewish schedule for a week was really nice. We kept kosher, cooked kosher, shopped kosher. Rabbi Eytann was awesome. His kids adorable. He never once questioned whether I was Jewish and was actually really surprised on Friday afternoon to find out I wasn't. I didn't like the Friday Reform service and that's kind of when I realized I'm not a Reform Jew. I am eternally grateful to Daniel for teaching me Hebrew. Without that I probably wouldn't be converting or so confident about it. I am grateful for this experience and wish I could go back this year to work more on the community and grow more as a Jew and a person.
I finished Teach For America this May. After 2 years of teaching at 6th/7th grade math, I felt so RELIEVED! I hate that this is my main emotion. I miss the kids but I don't want to go back to teaching. I was not happy. It wasn't the lifestyle I wanted. I woke up thinking of ways I could avoid getting to school. I had a crazy conversation with another TFA teacher this summer. As she started to ask me this question, I knew exactly what she was going to say. It's a deep, hidden, horrifying thought. She asked if I'd ever thought about crashing my car on the way to school so you wouldn't have to go. Yes. I definitely had thought about that. We asked a few other TFA teachers and they said the same thing. I am a pretty stable person but Teach For America, working in such a high-stress, high-stakes environment really tested my emotional stability. I should be on here talking about the education reform movement, the opportunities for my students, the inequalities in our system, but instead, my most influential moment of the year was when I could finally escape the classroom! I feel so guilty that I haven't internalized the message...but so many people seem to be faking it when they talk about closing the achievement gap. I needed to put myself in a situation where I was happy about my work if I wanted to make real changes. And I wasn't happy teaching. It's the hardest profession in the world and I'm terrified to have children and send them to school because if I can't even handle being a teacher, who will be a teacher for my kids?? I love my new job. I've lost 20 pounds since I stopped teaching. I wake up happy. I don't have those crazy fantasies about crashing my car and not being able to work for a while. And I miss the students - but i can be there for them in other ways besides being their math teacher. Closing the TFA teacher chapter of my life was monumental in building my confidence again. I am relieved that it's over...and I'm so happy to be an alum and help out where I can without the suffocating stress of being in the classroom.
I went through a devastating breakup. It launched a 2 month severe depression. I survived it and came out happier than I think I was while in the relationship. The person I was with would not have made a good partner in the long haul but it had been hard for me to reconcile his limitations with the parts of him I loved. He ended it and now I am grateful. For some reason, this period of loss has been followed by a great deal of happiness and self-confidence.
Last year I started getting chest pains, heart palpitations and muscle cramps all over my body. In October I was woken up in the night with severe cramps wracking the whole left side of my body and I almost passed out and an ambulance was called for me. After visiting the doctor and getting a bunch of tests (the results were inconclusive, but the tests happened a few days later) the doctor determined I must have had a really low dip in Magnesium or Calcium. This event was a catalyst. I started seeing a dietitian who I saw weekly. She determined I was an emotional eater and asked me to see a therapist to get over my issues. At the therapists I discovered that I was a binge eater (a form of eating disorder) and I had eaten myself into several deficiencies that I could have died from if I let it continue. I have undergone PTSD therapy and I have lost a total of 96lbs (and counting) and I am working towards a healthy food relationship. To further answer the question. I'm grateful. It was scary to know that I was close to dying, but now I know just how badly my diet and my mental state had gotten. I look forward to the future and a normal happy life.
Completing my education at UCSB. I am relieved to be done with school (for now at least) but afraid of what will happen in my future. What I will do with my time and that I have to find something to be committed to and not just short-term.
I went to China this past summer. I have to say that I expected something so magical and different and life changing, but it did not change me. I did not experience some epiphany. I was me, in another world, in another country, but I was still me. I think I am grateful for this realization because it is bringing me to the truth. That no where is going to change the way I feel, who I am. The only thing that will truly change that is me. I am just hoping that as I learn what that really means, I will start to love myself.
There have been 2. I finally moved to NYC and I was dumped by my boyfriend shortly after moving (partially for him). The effect of both has been empowering oddly enough. I conquered NY easily. The transition wasn't s hard as I thought it would be. And as far as the ex, I finally saw him for what he truly is and will never fall for it again. I hit the dating scene not sure what to expect and I've been havig a blast. It's given me a new-found confidence that I never truly had.
My workplace has gone through a lot of changes in the past year. We've had two management reviews, people have been let go, rearranged, our programs have shifted, our funding has been in turmoil...It has left me very anxious all the time, very nervous and unhappy. No matter how hard I work, I always feel that it is not enough, not good enough. This has made me very unhappy recently. I don't know how it will affect me in the long term, but I think its probably made me realize that its not worth working somewhere that makes you unhappy, even if you love your job.
I bought a house. it's been a lot of upheaval, but it should be worth it. i hope. i'm stil very stressed out, and things aren't anywhere near finished, a lot left to do.
My pregnancy has certainly been a significant experience in the past year. I am so grateful that we were able to create this life together and feeling so overwhelmed with how excited and scared I am to meet this little person. My pregnancy has been a whirlwind of emotion but when I look back on it most of what I am thinking about is how amazing my husband is and how lucky I am to have him. He is the complement to my soul and is a constant and source of peace and happiness for me. I cannot wait to meet our child and watch him bring joy and love to that child the way he brings it to me everyday.
One of the most inspiring things that have happened this year was failing my driving test and passing the next day. It taught me that in order to succeed we must try and try again.
Going back to New York for Model UN. Pretty much the whole week--realizing who my true friends are and that I am not a complete failure at what I do. It also made me realize that I was really shutting myself out of a lot of things not just at school, but in the world. I don't always need a friend if they are not really a good friend. I don't have to put up with people putting me down, but I don't have to be mean back. Even if I don't always look back fondly on this, or if I don't always follow my own advice, I just know it.
I fell and badly injured my ankle. I am resentful and ashamed.
Probably the most significant experience was a series of experiences when I went to Sweden. I experienced a world larger and yet still as comfortable as home. It was amazing. I want to move there. I want to eat their food every day, I want to be around their culture. I learned that 2 weeks exposure to me doesn't make people hate me, despite previous concerns. The only terrible part of the experience was the train; I don't know enough Swedish for that to be anything but stressful.
Jamie & I bought our first house together. We have completely gutted it and started again, new plaster everywhere, new kitchen new bathroom and currently waiting for the carpets. I can't wait to move in now, and spend even more happy years in there together, knowing that we did this ourselves.
My brother got married and we all traveled to the east coast for the wedding and to see relatives I haven't seen in 20 years. It was stressful and uncomfortable at times, but I'm glad I went and I realized that the choices I made many years ago were still positive ones for me.
A friend died. I said I love you. I got to share who I was and how I felt with a precious friend before he died. Grateful he is no longer in pain, miss him terribly. How he lived his life inspires me. Meeting new friends and honoring his life keeps me honest.
We broke up. We were happy for more than 3 years . Both mature (46 and 53 years) the descriptions of 'my boyfriend' seems immature. Not engaged or married I 1st felt resentful - used, then I felt relieved, because we had no ties. Now I'm grateful for the experience, he's a great guy, we had wonderful times, how could I regret any of it? He was just not ready to commit, I was not the right one. Yet I am inspired. The experience left me.... experienced. Isn't that what life is all about?
I have finally learned how to not get sucked into discussions that will create discord. I have had some work done on my house, and the contractor has different views then I do (I can tell by the bumper sticker). My son just got married and I know that his in-laws have much different political views than I do (compliments of my daughter-in-law). However, after years of dealing with upset, hurt feelings from how my family of origin was conditioned to deal with "otherness", I have been able to find a wide variety of topics we can all talk about with great pleasure, and not get involved in those areas where we disagree and I know will not change each others minds. My hope is that once people realize that we can have a wonderful relationship without getting into arguments, we will be able to positively influence each other (I mean I can be influenced too) without knee-jerk polarized reactions.
This January it seemed like I had it all set... place at Cambridge University for October and all I had to do was get the grades which to be honest didn't seem to be horrifically unattainable. Well, come July, and it had all changed. I was meant to get 42 points on the IB and instead I got 37. It wasn't just disappointing - it was baffling. I'm smart. I worked incredibly hard. But more than anything, I'm not the sort of person that's used to failure. Sure I work hard, I work my ass off, but in the past it's always been enough. This time it wasn't. Ridiculous though it seems in retrospect, not getting my grades for Cambridge was the worst thing I could imagine happening before it did. It remains the worst thing I've ever gone through, but it has made me realise how small my problems are. Some people's biggest fear is starving to death, running out of money, being turfed out on the street... I feel sad, and almost curious about how things could have been. But more than that I feel strong. My worst imaginings came true, and I'm still here. I'm fine. This isn't going to break me.
I realized that I can be a deeply sensitive person for the good, as well as for the not so good. I am allowing myself to tune into that sensitivity and see it as an asset in many situations, and to notice when it drags me down in others. I am thrilled and frightened all at once.
My mom died. I sat by her bed with my sister for several days as her kidneys shut down. I am grateful and relieved, because I believe she wanted not to stay in the limbo she'd been in. My sisters and I pulled together through the experience, and we honored her appropriately and felt the love of many of those she touched. She inspires me to reach out and be a part of the world.
At my installation in felt embraced both by a congregation of wonderful people, but also increased confidence in myself in my new position.
I realized I could no longer make my marriage work, and admitted this to my husband. This has been a long and wrenching process, but ultimately, we have both grown as individuals and are better for it. I truly believe that.
My youngest child graduated from high school and now he is away at college. I am inspired that he is beginning a new chapter in his life, but at the same time I feel some resentment because I know that he will never be as dependent on me as he has been these past 18 years
I got that job in town that I wanted. Although I'm grateful for more time with my family, I'm resentful of the school system where I now work for doing such a poor job at supporting student learning and teacher development.
One of my sisters got engaged and the other got pregnant. I'm so happy and excited and grateful for both of them. I'm realizing how much it's going to change their lives and our relationships, mostly in positive ways. Also realizing one down side is it probably means I will see them less often, which is sad. But SO glad this is happening to them and our family!
We elected a new Governor, who suspended most rights of public employees. For the first time in my life, I was part of mass demonstrations. Our kids marched on the capitol. We stood in the cold to listen to people tell us that this was wrong. I worked with people that retired just to work on the recall of the Governor. I was proud to be part of the groups, proud to be married to Joan, who continued to drag me to the demonstrations and reminded me why they were important. But I was also sad that this governor had tapped into a feeling that public employees were not to be valued. That we were a drag on society. That we could be dismissed as having little value. I really tried to understand, but all I could come up with was the attitude, "I'm worse off, so you should be too." I really expected more, wished for me, and was disappointed that this was what it came down to. Instead of bringing everyone up, society believes we should bring everyone down. How can we govern when that's the prevailing attitude - it must be as we were unsuccessful in recalling our Governor. It goes deep to my understanding of how the pieces fit together. How do we create a country that we are proud of when the tendency is to minimize accomplishments? And yet, a majority of the people look up to the rich, but believe that they know far more than they do. And yet, there were more than 100,000 people out to demonstrate. I'll hang onto that memory as a reason for optimism.
Two peers died, neither unexpectedly. I am a bit frightened, more apprehensive, and very conscious of my own mortality, how fragile it is, and of what is and is not within my ability to contribute to it.
It worries me, that despite how much has happened; i finished the gymnasium, entered university, moved out for myself, none of it is enough of an experience to stand out from the droning noise of everyday life. I guess it's just that time, an empty transition of sorts. Let's hope this changes.
A few weeks ago I started my first year of high school. The transition was very hard; I am still homesick for my old school and it is very hard to adjust. I am trying to make friends, and there are a few people who I like, but it is very different from my old school, where I could be myself (loud, opinionated, somewhat bossy) without even thinking. I don't like feeling insecure, or not knowing what I'm doing.
I was asked to and designed my first two regional theater shows. For the first time, I really found a way to work quickly and efficiently without getting angry and defensive. I still have a ways to go - it wasn't perfect and i did overreact at times - but the best compliment I got was that I seemed totally comfortable and confident in that environment (even though I didn't feel that way).
I married Leah legally. It inspired and excited me. Though we have been domestic partners and home-owners together since the late '90's and married before our family and friends with a chuppah in 2004, this was different. It felt momentous in a new way. And people around us were deeply excited - maybe even more than in 2004. Being legal in this state marks a huge transformation.
After I left my childhood religion, my parents didn't talk to me for eight months even though I moved to a foreign country. This year, we are working on repairing our relationship...we actually talk now! It is relieving, but at the same time, I am still angry that they ignored me for so long. Nevertheless, I still stand by my decision as the best one I have ever made.
I took a new job. I feel like I found a place I can call home. I finally work for a good group of people that stand behind their words and allow me to spend a majority of my time training. I still want to become a teacher when the timing is right, but for now I am content with my job.
I got married to the love of my life. It has inspired me to be a better person in every way and I am extremely grateful.
I contemplated an affair. When it didn't happen I was upset for a while. But not nearly as upset as I was when a friend accused me of having an affair. Turns out I do like the moral high road after all.
I started my new school, after wasting years on other post secondary education I've given up and started anew. I have a new outlook on life because I can see my future. Now I have a plan and I have goals that I can actually achieve. I'm grateful that I'm finally on a path that I can be proud of. So relieved and very inspired.
During the last year I grew and developed a relationship with my boyfriend. While there is no single experience that really makes up this relationship, I'm really happy with how its progressed and been as an experience overall. Its a lot of fun, and I'm really excited for where its going :)
After years of being broke and being "close, but no cigar" week after week in my job search, I finally found a contract position. At first, I was grateful and relieved and excited, and looking forward to being inspired, because it's at a cutting-edge company that receives over a million resumes every year. Everyone wants to work there, and I considered myself unbelievably lucky. Then, I discovered that a very large percentage of its workforce is contractors, which enables them to grow and shrink their workforce on a moment's notice - being "nimble" in the parlance of the industry- they make no bones about constantly shifting priorities and "not being afraid to get rid of people," and I've seen it happen. It's like a revolving door. I've seen people start on Monday, and on Thursday the decision is made to change the way the project works, and they are out the door by Friday. I constantly feel threatened because the knot in my stomach about my financial situation has loosened a little as I am finally able to pay my bills and save money, I'm not hungry any more. If I see something I need, I can buy it, instead of just doing without because $5.00 can mean the difference between hanging on by a thread and bouncing checks. I can even have lunch with friends or go to the movies. But, I'm afraid to be too happy about it. I'm afraid to update my resume or my LinkedIn account because on the one hand, I should be thrilled to have this company on my resume, and on the other hand, if it's only for a couple of months, I would feel so ashamed, and that would outweigh the cachet..
1st yahrzeit of my husband's death. Relieved that we got through the 1st year, grateful for my son, resentful that we had to lose my husband.
It would have to be the loss of my parents, even though they are both alive. Both Mom & Dad have Alzheimer's disease and can no longer play a pivotal role in my life or their community. This has slowly dawned on me as their illness has slowly diminished their ability to function. My siblings and I now find ourselves somewhat untethered. Both my parents were highly accomplished individuals in their own right, and were somewhat "larger than life." Now it comes to me, as the oldest and only son, to play a parental role, even though I am not truly up to it. But it's really the end of my innocence and the end (at age 55) of childhood. I am challenged by this role reversal, and hope I am up to this challenge as I and my family moves forward toward the inevitable.
This past summer I went on a community service trip to Israel, Hungary, Romania, Ukraine, Vienna and Paris. The experience was truly something that has changed me for the better. Grateful, Inspiring, AMAZING! are just a few words to describe the experience. I made friends for life, traveled to new places that I know I will return to, met people that affected me and our time I won't forget, helped out small towns that made a difference for them but it felt like i was just having fun and it took no effort. I think about this trip every day because I want to go back so badly. It has inspired me to do more good in the world and help people out and not take things for granted. There is so much to say I just can't right it all down. also I'm watching awkward and the ravens are playing the eagles now :)
Both kIds moved out. N has rented an apt and is taking control of his life. That, and the little distance, has relieved the stress. I'm proud of the steps he is making and am much less worried for his future. C has actually bought a small place & has a serious savings plan in action. Also still partner w J. No real worries about her future either. I'm proud of how they are both doing, little bit proud of the job we did as parents and hopeful got their future.
One of the most significant experiences that occurred this year was when I went to my first summer camp, CLTC, this summer. I am so grateful that I was fortunate enough to go because it does cost a lot of money. Though it only lasted 12 days, I had one of the most remarkable experiences of my life. I met some of the most amazing people and I know I made lifelong friends. I am so glad to say that I have friends from all over the country (and Canada). I want to do so much more in BBYO while I still can. I can't wait to see where BBYO takes me in the future.
This last year, my sister moved in with me. I thought it would be a good thing. I was helping her leave her abusive husband. But, it turned out to be a nightmare. She stayed for 7 months, showing no motivation to change her situation. She spent her money, didn't pay rent, kept a cat in my garage and didn't feed or water it, stashed whiskey behind her pillow. The whole situation negatively affected my relationship with my husband. I finally had enough and had to kick her out. She found a place real quick (imagine that) and is now doing fine. I feel betrayed. This is a recurring theme in my family. My mom became involved, too, and also went psycho on me. I've decided that though I'm not going to let them make me callous, I am going to create solid boundaries between them and me. I no longer feel that my mission in life is to repair my relationship with me family. I love them and always will, but they are not people I want to have in my life on a daily basis, and they don't deserve my time or my heart.
When Grace passed I didn't think I would be able to function for the longest time. It was traumatizing. It's funny because I've been thinking of her a lot lately...it's only been since May. Grace was an amazing person that I took for granted even if I got to know her well. I was one of her close friends during her few months in our sophomore year of high school and we spent a wealth of time together. I often look back on the 2 summers that were filled with so much potential to spend time together and regret not doing more. But this was Grace. She was going to pull through. She was going to return back for her senior year and that was that. I feel like I've aged more in the last few months that I have in the last 18 years. How naive I was. While I've finally come to a point in my life that I know everything happens for a reason...I would still go back in time and spend more time with her. I spoke more about Grace during my Senior year than the 2 years prior and it was finally hitting me that I was slowly losing a friend. But had I already lost her? I communicated to her family and Grace through teachers that went to visit her. She knew I was thinking of her but what more could have been done to make sure she realized her friends still missed her? While my nervousness to go to college grew; her tumor did. She was losing time and I was gaining experiences she should have been living as well. Looking back on it I find it so unfair that I want to scream. It makes me angry and depressed all at the same time. I no longer cry and the mention of Grace and even while typing this I'm actually okay. Maybe a little misty eyed but that's natural. While I do not cry...I wallow in it. In August Grace's Facebook was signed up for a photo app and they posted on her behalf. I went to her page to look at the post and suddenly saw all of her friends posting messages to Grace. I was taken aback because the messages were both heartfelt and simple. Messages to just tell Grace an update on her life or to tell her that they miss her. I had never felt the need to do that and suddenly felt like my way of grieving was wrong. I felt yet again I wasn't reaching out the way I was supposed to. It was a rough day that lead into it being a rough week. But I remembered that Grace would laugh at me and tell me to get a move on because love doesn't wait. Grace was an amazing soul and to know her was one of the most significant experiences in my life. But losing her was also significant in many ways. She taught me many lessons even while I didn't see her for 2 years. I will never take for granted the life that I have. I try to laugh twice every day because I have to make up for the laughs the world is missing with Grace gone. I am looking forward to the future and dedicated to making it amazing because Grace was robbed of one. It would say it's significant because it was the first big loss in life since my iguana 2 years ago (yes, it was a big deal for me), my grandfather, or my mothers best friend. But I can't say that because Grace's passing has nothing to do with me. It's about the legacy that will live on because she fully lived her life to the fullest. I can't count how many times I miss Grace during the week but she wouldn't want me to keep track. She wouldn't even want me to cry about her. I've said this many times but it's worth saying again. John Green wrote about people leaving scars on others lives. That sometimes one doesn't want to damage their loved ones with their issues or the painful card they were dealt. Grace often exhibited this type of behavior because she simply wanted to be normal and never leave her scar. But (and this where I always start to tear up) I'm so damn glad she did.
I went through the job application process. It was stressful, nervewracking and challenging, testing my self-confidence, patience and my ability to step outside of my humble box and show others that I'm an awesome candidate and human being. Also, going up against a friend for a job tested my ability to be competative and get what I want, but in a "menschlich" way. Finally getting a job was a relief, and proved to me that I am in fact worthy in the eyes of others. It also reminded me, which I need a lot of reminding on, that everything ends up working out, and all of the stress before hand isn't always necessary. Stuart Smalley was right: I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!
We adopted our dog Willie and it was a huge challenge at the outset but we have learned so much about each other. Love conquers all.
I re-found my love of playing and listening to music. The past year not only saw me becoming that guy who discovered new music artists emerging from the studies, but also saw me taking up playing the piano regularly again after an 8 year hiatus. I have found it truly inspiring.
I retired, and I am happier and more grateful than I ever thought I would be.
Published my first book after 47 years of trying. I feel pride, fear, relief and anxious.
We put dad into assisted living for his dementia. He's 58 and can't even put on matching shoes. My life and my family's lives have completely changed. Sometimes I'm angry, but mostly I'm just extremely sad.
This year we finally set a date for our wedding. We were always "gonna get married eventually." Now it's and actual thing that's gonna happen, not just some far off thing in some far off time. When I think about it in the broader sense, I'm elated that we'll be getting married. At the moment however, I'm just stressed because of the time and the added expense it will take to have a wedding.
This past year we started going to services almost every Friday night and I feel a deeper connection to Adonai. I feel the importance of every prayer, including the prayer for healing. I feel that this connection has facilitated my input, along with I feel certain divine intervention, in the healing that has begun with my son and his daughter, and with his positive connections with life.
Retiring from work has been the biggest event during the past year. After 35 years of working full or part-time, I now have time to pursue other interests. But most challenging is valuing an identity that is now based on "what I do." Can I accept myself for myself? This is a challenge that I continue to relish. It is about time
Splitting up with partner 10 months ago. Traumatised...sad...nostalgic...pining....angry... seeing the light...going travelling...coming back happy to be free of the parasite...be nice to hit indifference and acceptance at some point soon...
I was having a verbal battle with my husband one day when he threw up his hands and said, "I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who makes me miserable". I was stunned because he is always the one claiming contentment with our life; never been more happy; loves me so much. Words are hurtful. I am hoping I will remember that whenever I am in a conversation with anyone. The experience made me realize how negative I had become in the past few years and forced me to take a look at myself and our relationship. I am a bit resentful but also needed a kickstart.
I moved in with my fiance after 2 years of living in separate states. For a couple of months leading up to the move, I was feeling scared and vulnerable, since I was about to sell my house and give up a job. Ultimately, it has been a very freeing experience. and I am filled with great happiness to finally be under the same roof with the one I love. I feel that now I can begin to grow again.
I am humbled and captivated by, and thankful for being a grandparent. I also recognize the differences between "become a grandparent"--the excited anticipation while our daughter was expecting; and "being a grandparent"--with its many (but never enough) opportunities to experience the miracle of transformation from helpless infant to little person, producing a constant stream of pictures and video and stories to share with anyone who will listen.
I have started what I thought would be my dream job at a big company, and although I'm enjoying the extra few hundred pounds a month, the politics and lack of team spirit at my workplace combined with having to work much longer hours than I was told I would be working in the interview, mean that my non-work life is suffering. It has made me realize that I'm not as ambitious as I thought I was, and that I miss the independence of working in smaller companies where I'm challenged mentally. I can't see myself staying at this big company for long, and am disappointed that the dream job has turned out to be so dull.
The past year has been interesting, to put it mildly. It has been full of ups and downs..Sadly the downs have won in number this time. I've found that no one can be trusted; not even myself. The human race thrives on hurting others. If there is no one to hurt, we hurt ourselves. I hope that the coming year will be much better..
I had my first family reunion that I can remember. It was and awesome event and I'm glad everyone had a chance to get together. It was a great reminder that family comes first. Hopefully that's a mindset I'll be able to keep. Money isn't everything. It's just a tool to create experiences.
I worked at a job that didn't go according to plan. I was tempted to pass the buck, but I am ashamed to admit it was my fault. The client was aware and called me on it and I had to take my medicine. I am struggling to take lessons from the experience.
There is so much that happened. this has been a year for the books, and I am so grateful to have come out of it in one piece. In January, I was told that I was not going to have my contract renewed at my school. I was totally freaked out, although they were right that I was bored, and had no idea what was going to happen next. At first I wanted to start my own cooking business, but later realized that I needed a full time job, with insurance. Thank god my school offered to cover my insurance over the summer, because in April, over Passover, I had my first seizure. Hands down the scariest thing that I have ever experienced in my life. In May, while watching Anything Goes with my parents, I had another one. I wound up in the hospital for two days. Wow. The recovery takes so long. My mouth was bitten through, and so painful. I still have a small bump, months later, in the spot where I chomped down on my tongue. I had a couple of interviews here and there, but no job materialized. The last few weeks of school were awful. I think I cried every day. My lowest point of this ordeal was on the last morning of school, after the kids had gone and we were cleaning up. I had had a fight with my mother the night before, and there I was, at 8 am, standing outside my building, chain smoking cigarettes that I had bummed off the guy who was washing the sidewalk. Needless to say, I did not go into work on the last day I was supposed to be there. What were they going to do, fire me? Summer came, I had a 24 hour EEG, which was worse than being in the hospital the first time, because I was aware of what was going on. People kept poking and prodding me, asking how I felt (I feel fine. I am fine, except for the fact that you are poking me and taking my temperature every five minutes. Go away and stop asking me that question. And get me the hell out of here!) I still didn't have a job lined up. My neurologist reports came out ok, just needed to take my meds and chances are that I wouldn't have another seizure. It all worked out, I now have a job where I am very well supported and well paid, and am so relieved and feel so lucky that I am feeling good and am employed. I feel that there were outside forces that helped contribute to the way things worked out--can't help feeling that the way everything tied together was the work of something greater than myself. Yes, I worked really hard and suffered a lot until I got to this point, but I feel that I deserve all this good fortune. It was one thing after another...and then it was one GOOD thing after another. Now I just need to find a husband.....
Two of my children were on the outs with each other. One was having a Bar Mitzvah and didn't think she would invite the other.(Oy! I begged her to reconsider)..The second child told me she wasn't going to go. (Oy! I begged her to reconsider) They sat in Temple that morning where they embraced each other. But the real joy came in seeing the two of them do the Hora together...just the two of them, with smiles and tears--they are learning to accept each other for whom they are...and realize that under it all they are sister and love each other. I am grateful, relieved and inspired with people's ability to grow, change and forgive.
I was disrepected by my stepson. We had such a wonderful relationship and it hurt my feeling so bad. I am very resentful and hurt that he would speak to me in that manner.
My daughter was born. Our family I think is complete. She has to quote Star Wars "Brought balance to the force". Now the house has 3 boys, 3 girls and a lot of love. (not that it didn't before, but things just feel "right" now)
I got engaged! This isn't so much something that happened to me - but something that I helped make happen. It felt like a true moment of partnership - asking each other to make this commitment we both felt. I feel loved, inspired, excited, happy. More than that - "I have found the one whom my soul loves."
My husband had a severe brain bleed in Feb.I am grateful that he survived and is in good health.Iam blessed by the wisdom and compassion shown by his med team.I am also blessed to have had the support of family and friends.I am inspired to live life now and be aware of all the good things and people who are a part of this life.
For the first time since High School and College, I am actually a W2 salaried employee. I have an array of emotions-a little bit of failure followed by huge relief and I am very grateful for the opportunity my new job provides.
My sister got married. It was very inspirational to see their true, Christ rooted love and to be able to hope for that in my future. I thought I may be finding that with my boyfriend at the time, but another significant experience was realizing that he wasn't the one for me and being strong enough to do something about it. It was a really hard decision at the time, but looking back I am much happier without him and definitely made the right decision :)
I spent three weeks in Italy with my husband. I am grateful! We haven't had much extended quality time because of lack of appropriate childcare for a special needs child. She is now over 18 and more stable. We are determined to take more such trips for ourselves. At one level it wasn't earth-shattering, but it reaffirmed our enjoyment of sharing adventures together.
This year, I left the job I had worked in for the past four years and the city I had lived in for 8 years. It was a big step for me. I left a job where I was well respected and considered a senior employee for a new position in a field I know little about. It has been a scary, exciting, humbling and surprising experience. I am grateful for my new job and all the opportunities it will bring, but sometimes I can't help but miss my old one.
It would have to be .my elected position as vice president of my brotherhood.and becoming synagogue florist all blessings
When Jim went for his annual wellness visit in the early spring, the doctor found a small, hard lump on his thyroid. What came next was 2 months of worry, work, stress, and more worry about the lump on his thyroid. The long saga went as well as it possible could - Jim had half his thyroid removed, the lump was benign, and the remaining half of his thyroid took over and is producing the right amount of hormone. I could never say that I am grateful for this anxiety-producing event, but if there is a silver lining, it is that Jim was forced to look more closely at enjoying his life right now, and not waiting. I was able to be a support to him and not fall apart in the process. We weathered a storm with strength and equanimity, as a couple and as a family, and for that, I am very grateful.
I was promoted from receptionist to office manager. I am so grateful and completely stressed! I love it!
One of the most significant events for me this year was meeting a wonderful woman this summer. It didn't work out, but it was a great reminder that finding a long term relationship and thinking about family is a priority for me. It was also really important because it made me feel. It's been awhile since my emotions were at the forefront in that way. And it was healthy albeit hard. I'm inspired. My heart is open. I'm ready to live, and to love.
Spending time with my daughter without the distractions of going anywhere or doing anything other than just being together. I am relieved to feel a new intimacy and honesty between us.
Finishing Oxford. Which breaks down into three significant moments of its own: finishing exams, leaving Oxford and leaving England. Finishing exams had a euphoric high, then a complete low, which I should have seen coming, given my state during exams. Life looked up after that, and I really made the most of my fun days (though I did do a lot of lounging instead of exploring Oxford). That said, I left feeling loved and overwhelmed. Leaving Oxford was melancholy, and that was only dispelled by having my friends over and then going to London. Arriving in Udaipur had a bit more hope and optimism, and whilst it is still lonely and a partial struggle, I think I am starting to find my way. The sky could be my limit if only I would choose to look up.
My mother has been diagnosed with Parkinsons and has been hospitalized several times. She struggles to feed and motivate herself, which are critical in a disease such as this where the main treatment involves sustained vigorous muscle activity. How it affected me -- in a myriad of ways. Grateful for the call of urgency to spend time together while we may. Relieved to understand her diagnosis and so be better able to interact positively. Resentful? Not so much as disordered with lost time that would have helped navigate my own household better. Possibly resentful on behalf of my children who are expected to be caregivers while never having been cared for by absentee grandparents. Inspired? That's difficult to say. It is a clear reminder of the limit to the time we have on this earth and that we should make the best of it each and every day, with all those we encounter. We never know when or if we will get a second chance.
A dear friend died and I spent some good time with him at the very end of his life and then helped plan and put on his memorial service. I was deeply affected on so many levels. Grateful to have known such a special person and to have been a part of his life and his death. Proud and humbled at the same time to be of great service to his daughter through the grieving process but a little resentful at how much she came to rely on me for so long afterwards.
I moved from LA to NYC for grad school. The decision to move out to NYC changed my life forever. I'm learning each and every day, not just in class but about myself, my capabilities, my strengths, my weaknesses.. everything is being tested and I'm constantly being challenged. The past year could not have passed faster. I can't believe it's already been a year and one month since my big move to the Big Apple. I'm proud of myself for making this leap. I'm blessed, grateful and happy that I'm given this opportunity to learn not just academically but personally as well.
My oldrest son, 24, returned home from serving for the US Army. He had been away serving in the Army for 4 yrs and stationed in Afghanistan for over a yr. I am so very grateful to have him home safe and phsyically in one piece, inspired by his courage and strength.
My world fell apart. My family splintered, and my health took a nose dive, and I was fired from a job I loved. I am just greatful to Ha Shem that I survived.
An arguement led to my becoming much more aware of the impact I have on people in my life. I learned that I need to be held and nurtured and that it is okay for me to need and want those connections with my loved ones.
I have joined a Jewish youth group called BBYO this past winter. It changed me in so many ways that I can't even describe. I talk to the friends I met every single day and think about them every hour on the hour. It's hard to imagine what I would be doing if I didn't have BBYO.
I got a book contract, which made me feel excited and scared. Excited to have the chance to write something that might help people and to achieve a tiny immortality; scared to screw up this amazing opportunity. Also, worried that adding another ball to my already exhauting juggling act might be foolhardy; on the other hand, no time like the present.
I changed my job! It was scary. It was exciting and finally - when I am standing on this side, it is therapeutic. I am grateful for all that I have learned. I am thankful for the relationships that I have built. I am excited for all of the possibilities ahead of me. I do believe...life happens exactly as it should.
Discovering that I have been overpayed for 14 months. Shocked, stressed, waiting to hear what the bureaucracy will do. Took me a while to get up the nerve and gather enough information (like about policy etc.) to tell my boss. She predictably lectured me about my not monitoring my bank account. I know that I am not good at that and it is not the point. I didn't do anything WRONG. Someone else or some computer screwed up!
new home. hunkering down in the perfect home for us with Rich for the rest of our lives - very grateful, we never expected it, never thought it could happen and had stopped looking. Dropped in our laps and cascaded into other things including a new friendship and new job.
The most significant thing that happened to me in the past year was probably my involvement in the theater at school. Playing Helena and Muriel were a dream come true and an unexpected joy, respectively. I am incredibly grateful and happy that I had those experiences, and I cannot wait to continue to develop as a performer.
In December I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression and anxiety. I have been on medication since Christmas Eve, and have tried to make a lot of big changes in my life. In some ways I am relieved that I have finally gotten treatment, and finally made changes... but I still feel terrified. I still feel aimless about 80% of the time and I have no idea what I want out of life. I am grateful to the people that have been supportive of me as well... I am thankful that these people are in my life, and I am even more glad that I have said good-bye to the people who aren't supportive.
There's another event this year that must be mentioned: Spending the 1st quarter with my dear friend Nan as she was dying of lung cancer, and then the 2 months with Thomas as he died of liver disease. I was viscerally traumatized by their deaths, just two hours apart, physically shaken - felt I couldn't breathe... I am so grateful for their friendship for the last 40 years and intensely miss them.
I have become pretty much a single parent, raising my daughters alone for more than half the year. Not because of death or divorce, but because my husband is working overseas to help us pay off all debt and put our daughters through college. I have learned a lot about myself during this shift. I am relieved and while I always miss my husband, have come to treasure this time with just my daughters. I am grateful that as partners my husband and I can set our goals and work toward them, even through it means living and parenting apart.
I have taken on a leadership role with my roller derby league. I am totally inspired. While I love what I do for my job, its been the same thing every year for the last 13 years. This has given me the opportunity to be brave and try something new., It has energized and forced me to think and learn differently. Rising to the challenge and doing well has made me really proud of myself.
After not seeing my sister or talking with her since March of 2003 (during the days after our father died), I saw her unexpectedly and talked with her at a lecture our cousin gave as part of a book tour. It had not occurred to me that my sister might there. I would not have gone if I had known my sister would be there. I was SURPRISED and then OVERJOYED to see my sister, hoping for reconciliation, but she was unwilling to talk to me in any depth after initially appearing to accept my presence. I asked if I could sit next to her, and she said, "Yes." After the lecture, I was STUNNED by her haunted appearance as she shook with what appeared to me to be overwhelming rage towards me. She said that she would not talk with me in depth outside of a counselor's office, if ever. I agreed that it would be a good idea to talk in a counselor's office, as that had been my impression all along of what would be required if we were to talk about what happened in 2003. I am grateful, relieved, inspired to let go and let God. She agreed to let go and let God, too.
My husband left me in June 2012. He did it in a very cowardly way - moving out while I was out of town. As shattered as I am, I realized today on Sept. 16th 2012, that it may be a blessing in disguise. The majority of my energy went into this marriage to the detriment of my health and my spirit. The future is unknown and hence very scary. I have an 11 year old son from a previous marriage and I need to keep life good for both of our sakes. I am getting my health issues under control and started working with a career coach. I see good things coming my way although there will be many struggles as I grieve over my marriage and my feelings of abandonment and betrayal.
The most significant experience that has happened in the past year is the death of my barely 21-year-old son. He passed away after a year and 1/2 long battle with Ewings Sarcoma...a rare form of bone cancer. It was, is and undoubtedly will always be the most significant thing to happen in my life and, the hardest. I guess I am grateful that he is no longer suffering and that he is with the Lord now...no more cancer, no more pain...but I miss my son terribly. Even though I knew from the get-go that the chances of his surviving the cancer were basically non-existant and, he had care and treatment from one of the greatest cancer treatment places in the United States (and the absolute greatest bunch of nurses)...I still can't help but wonder if I did everything I could to save him from this awful disease. And even though I KNOW he is in a better place I can't help but ask God occasionally why? Why did he have to take my son. My child who I knew without a doubt loved me and showed me and told me he did. I want so badly to get beyond the grief enough to accomplish something in his name, in his honor. And I am having a really hard time of it. I hope maybe to start a non-profit organization to help raise money for families with children going through the same type of cancer as it is a cancer that normally attacks between the ages of 19 and 25. Even with insurance the costs involved for travel for treatments, lodging, food...and helping with the bills back home if you have to be gone from work...they are high. I love my son and I want him back with me so badly. I want to see him just one more time, hug him, have that last few minutes to tell him that I love him and ask him if he's afraid. I didn't get a chance to do that as he went into a non-responsive state before I could. I just hope and pray that he knows how much I love him and miss him...and cannot wait to see him again.
Many significant experiences in the past year - I don't know which one to choose. I broke up with my girlfriend, who I'd been with for 11 months. It brought relief from the anxiety that had entered our relationship and our struggles to communicate and make it work. I did not feel a major sense of grief at first, but later felt sad that it didn't work out between us, when I still feel love towards her and wish her all the best. Instead of going to Burning Man, I went on two long 5Rhythms workshops, in Germany and Belgium. Through the work there I experienced connection with my family, my past, who I am and who I can be. I experienced joy, happiness and sadness, all at once.
The most significant experience that happened last year was that I married the most amazing woman. I am grateful to meet someone so wonderful, also relieved that she exists. Resentful perhaps at times that it took so long, and inspired by her everyday to be a better person.
The most significant experience of the past year was meeting my girlfriend, Daniela. It's one the single greatest moments of my life. I have found in her a companion, a friend, a confidant, an equal and a lover. We met under the most curious circummstances, a testament to the wonders of modern communications technology. One night, by pure chance, I found myself on 4chan, on the notorious /b/ board, where I was directed to the anonymous, one on one chat service, Omegle. A thread on /b/ had specified we must go there and ask to the stranger we meet: /B/ro? After several failed tries, my last attempt yielded the response: not yet. And from there, despite all odds, we struck up a conversation, exchanged e-mails and...here we are now, a long-distance relationship, very much in love and hoping to meet next year. By the time I have read this next, we should have met already. I am so happy we met, she has had such an impact on my life and has made me a better person, I dread to think what my life would have been like had I not met her. I love her and can't wait to meet her.
David got laid off in January. At first I was crushed and angry, but decided to react and act differently from how I had acted in the past. It turned out to be the catalyst for an amazing series of professional events both for me and for him. I am grateful that I took this as an energizing call to action and not a defeat.
2 friends committed suicide. I felt shocked and sad. I felt helpless and overwhelmed with the finality of the loss. I want to enjoy my life and appreciate all that I have.
So far this year something significant was CLTC. It was important to me for many reasons. It helped me mostly get out of my shell. I also learned so much, not only BBYO things but from the people around me. My social skills I gained were great. Honestly before I never really talked to many people or ..boys.. but after I just dont care, and im not shy that much. I also learned sooo much from all my friends. I met great people that are actually trying to change the world. CLTC 7 has been one of the best things this past year. The things that I learned, the people that I met, and the experience I had has defiantly changed me for the better.
I've had Hypnotherapy for Weightloss & Self Esteem. It's been one of the best experiences I've ever had in my life so far, apart from marrying my husband Alan x :) I've lost a stone & a half so far & beaten depression & my default setting is happy now. I feel more settled, loved & worthy than I have ever felt in my entire life so far x :) I'm eternally grateful, relieved & inspired & am currently taking the course in Hypnotherapy, so we will see where the future takes me x :) <3
My son graduated from college in May. I definitely have a sense of relief, pride, and accomplishment. He's working full-time, but job searching in a larger city, so he is frustrated by the fact that he had to move home.But when he finds that job, we will be truly "empty-nested," and I see it as a time of renewal for my husband and I, and I have that "I can do anything now" feeling.
My divorce was finalized this year. It is the end of an era and the end of a commitment made to someone that does not want commitment. 35 years of family, friends and life together are now nothing but memories. I must admit I am relieved, but sad. This is not how I imagined my life at this point. I am now free to move forward. Perhaps there will be someone new, perhaps I will fly solo. No matter what I will make the best of if.
I officially converted to Judaism in June. It was the best experience of my life. After the mikveh and service it took a couple of weeks to come down from what felt like a cultural whirlwind, but when I did, I felt complete, I felt like I had all I ever wanted; that my life was now perfect. I am grateful to be Jewish and a part of a wonderful community. I am completely inspired and look forward to many more years of studying, praying and growing in my Jewishness.
I divorced my husband of four years. It's bittersweet; a second chance at life at a young age, though all of the hopes I had for a lasting marriage, one marriage, being loved unconditionally and made the top priority in at least one individual's eyes...were lost. I'm still hopeful for the future. I'm a good person and I just don't think Gd would let me live a life without another soul with whom to share my passions and adopt his. I'm trying to see my marriage not as a "failure" but a "learning experience" from which I can gather information about myself.
I had breast cancer. First I had a lumpectomy. Then a mastectomy. I'm angry that I had cancer after I did everything right about my health. I'm angry that I had 2 surgeries when I should have had only one -- the mastectomy. On the other hand -- it's no big deal. I don't need the breast for anything. Stuffing my bra is easy. I'm still sore from the surgery and my surgeon is no help -- won't even talk to me -- it's 5 months later. She wanted me to get reconstruction surgery -- that would just hurt more and cause even more surgeries down the line. I'm grateful that my husband was supportive the whole time and didn't push for reconstruction. I'm grateful that the acupuncture docs in Chinatown were able to help when my arm and chest swelled up and hurt. I'm grateful that there is a cancer support community, but I'm also glad I don't really belong because I didn't need radiation or chemo -- just chop off my breast and I'm done. It doesn't really affect my life. Maybe I should take up archery. I keep reading about all sorts of women who find that cancer helped them gain a new appreciation for life, energized their goals -- all I have is extra work to do on my body. And the sad discovery that cancer is random -- there is nothing anyone can do to prevent it. Maybe that's going to be useful. Another insight into the randomness of the universe.
I applied for a passport. It's taken me to another country, is taking me to another and has helped me find love again. Applying for a passport has given me confidence.
I figured out that I was bisexual and came out. I didn't realize how much emotion was behind the whole process until I was crying while telling my Mom. I knew I didn't have any reason to think she'd have a negative reaction and she didn't. I've only had one negative reaction and I realized that it helped give me clarity and the type of people I want to surround myself with on a regular basis. I feel: relieved, grateful, wanting.
I was working for Lifetouch, taking portraits of students until December when I was laid off. I was unemployed for several months until Sharon was able to get me a job working at GEOS. I started on my birthday, which I resented because it made my birthday virtually non-existent due to being so tired. I know that this sounds childish ,but to me it was a significant non-experience.
I have become concerned that my life is going in the wrong direction, that I'm recreating my work life in retirement through volunteerism, rather than reinventing the rest of my life. I'm tired of being a leader. I don't like herding cats. My patience isn't what it used to be. I don't respond well to frustration. I can still do it, but do I want to? I am inspired to begin anew. I want to terminate my commitments in a way that's fair to all, and try new things. It's a little frightening, but it makes me feel the excitement of new beginnings.
I relapsed after six years of sobriety. It makes me sad to think I have to start all over.
I went back to college full time very recently. I'm a little outside the traditional age for a junior, but I guess I'm not too old yet. This has changed almost everything about my life. I now work only a day and a half in a typical week and I have to be very careful with my money. I spend most of my weekends in the library studying. I smoke a lot more. I'm generally just trying to not fuck it up. But I'm really happy, on the whole. And thankful! I love my classes, even if they were the at the bottom of the academic choice pool. Spanish is still kicking my ass, though. Probably always will but I'm determined to make myself be able to carry on a rudimentary conversation with a Spanish speaking person. Most importantly, I am now on the road towards becoming a teacher. Sometimes I sorely wish I had started sooner. But I think if I had I may not have appreciated the experience as well as I do now. I needed to go through the fire first.
My father passed away in February. I am both relieved that he is no longer suffering and that my mother now finds peace. However, the finality of my father's passing and not being able to visit him or call him, even though he couldn't respond back, hit me quite hard. I am ever grateful for having him in my life and the influences he's had on Who I Am. I am so glad Marty got to know him and love him and understand how I am so much a part of my father. I know that Aliya will have distant memories of him and that makes me sad.
There are many components to the most significant experience in the past year, but the basis is meeting my boyfriend, who I know I will spend the rest of my life with. We met on Match.com oddly enough, and from the moment we met for our first date, we both knew that this was something special. (Today happens to be our six-month anniversary, interestingly enough!) He has taught me the importance of honesty, has supported me in attending therapy to deal with some deepseeded issues, he is allowing me to move in since my lease is up soon so that I can save money and pay down debt. We are working on a life together already, all things leading to our main goal. Moving in with him will allow me to pay down debt, which will allow me to buy a house in the spring, allowing him to rent his home and move in with me, and then allowing us to plan on selling those houses to move to Australia. I have no doubt that all of this will happen. He is inspiring; in my boyfriend I have a partner in life, more than I can say for any other relationship I have had. He is supported and he is teaching me, finally, that a relationship goes both way. He's teaching me to love, to ask for help, to give help and to be happy. I really feel excited about our future; we have already begun to look at engagement rings. I feel like at the age of almost 31, my life is starting.
My dad's dying was a significant experience that has happened in the past year. I think it affected me in lots of ways. It obviously made me sad, but really I would say it made me very reflective on my past, as well as my present as I worked to figure out who I am and who I was. Yeah, there was unresolved baggage and that made it more difficult, but the realization that I would miss him as much as I do really came as a big shock to me and has me reflecting on the relationship we had.
Passing my A Levels. It means I've been able to come to my top choice University and been able to do a course I love. I'm thrilled that I'm here, although I wasn't entirely pleased with my results, they got me this far - even if I was a bit disappointed and feel I could have done better.
My senior year of basketball went very well. We won the GBL and went in the playoffs. I was very grateful and inspired because we got very far.
i was blessed by being able to travel to israel 2 times last year. once for purim with eric and once after sukkot with mom. it was so amazing to reconnect with the country. i hadn't been since i was a college student, and, guiltily, felt a slight ambivalence toward the country. the travels created a powerful feeling of connection. may this year bring more blessings of travel to the homeland.
There are so many things that have happened in the past year that have sunk me and brought me back up from the muck! So I'd have to say that deciding to make aliyah is probably the most significant experience of the past year. It has affected me by making me happier, more optimist, excited, and most definitely relieved and inspired! I'm eager and excited to see where this new adventure will take me!
My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for four years. This year, I have been pregnant three times - the first time ending in a miscarriage, the second ending in a chemical pregnancy. The third time - the result of our "last try" - I stayed pregnant. I'm six months along now; our baby is due in December. I am grateful. So, so grateful.
My boyfriend left while I was working. He came down to the place I was working and wanted to talk, I told him that I couldn't just then, that we should talk when my shift was over. He got anxious and nervous and left me there on the spot. Afterwards he called me asking what I wanted to talk about. He always did that, take his own comfort first and then register what happened to me. What I learned is to love myself before anyone else, to be able to grasp when something isn't normal or correct. To get alarmed when a relationship doesn't seem functioning like it should. To learn to speak up for myself. I'm relieved that I'm not with him anymore as he had me totally nulled as a person. I'm slowly getting back to myself and learning to find my voice again. I'm starting my second year in university with a good vibe, I'm being myself again :)
I was called to the bar this year. I'm sort of relieved it's over, but I'm also feeling stressed about not having a goal, not knowing where my life is going, and what I want to do now. I spent years working towards this one goal, and now what? Is this it?
The diagnosis of our daughter with breast cancer, 7 years after her sister went through the same thing, was devestating. But, her courage, the bonding and support within the family and her good prognosis has taught us all much about life and rekindled hope and optimism.
I just broke up with my boyfriend of about 8 months. The experience has been both painful and a deep relief. We moved into an apartment together in June and it took about 4 weeks to realize we made a huge mistake. We love each other but also are both very much at transitional periods in our careers (I'm a writer-director finishing grad school and he's an aspiring cinematographer). I miss him terribly every time I come home to the apartment we found together and moved into with every intention of creating a nest for ourselves to do creative work within. But I don't miss our very frightening fights and the constant comparing of where we were in our creative endeavors. So I guess you could say I'm relieved and very sad, as well as inspired to get my life on track so I'll hopefully one day be in a position to be a more stable partner.
This summer I had the incredible opportunity to go to Israel with BBYO on ILSI. Not only did it open my eyes to a beautiful land, but it established my unwavering commitment to the Jewish People and the State of Israel. I feel so lucky to be a part of a dynamic people that is engaging a diverse community. Because of my trip to Israel I can say this: My heart forever lies with it. I am first and foremost a Jew. An American Jew. And I love that.
I got married on 10.22.11 to the love of my life. We've been together three years now and are coming up on our first anniversary of marriage. It was a wonderful wedding and we did it exactly the way we wanted without giving in to any wedding hysteria. It was a day we both look back on and share so many laughs, eye rolls, and smiles over. My hope is that by our second anniversary we'll have a little one to remind us again of how far we've come and how great life is together.
My mum moved from a large house to small flat to be near me and I was inspired by how much of the organizating she did herself and that I'm so relieved that she is nearer to me now
I cannot think of one single significant experience in the last year and that fact scares me more than if I could. Why does nothing seem significant to me anymore? So, I am not grateful, I am worried.
I started a doctoral program last August, and have made it through one year.I am relieved and challenged by what will come. I have a new job as an Assistant Dean, which make me very proud of myself. I have a new bf, Sean, who is amazing and continues to inspire me. I just got a new car last week, and I'm moving at the end of this month. I also turn 40 in a few weeks. It's been an amazing year of wonderful changes and I am so grateful and lucky to have so many wonderful things all going on at once!
In the past year, I acquired Mononucleosis during my first year of college. I was forced to take an incomplete, fly home across the country, and stay on bedrest for close to two months. This experience, initially, was incredibly frustrating, because I felt like life came to a screeching halt. However, upon deep reflection and personal examination, I realized it was a hidden blessing. Being so isolated made me re-think about my priorities, who I am, and what I care about. I realized how much superficiality was a priority, and I became desiring to be a more genuine and "real" person. In the end, Mono ended up being an incredible gift that I am extraordinarily thankful for and I feel has given me a great deal of wisdom.
I was seriously injured. The injury was completely random in that I did nothing to cause it. It significantly disabled me and will most likely leave me with long term permanent disability. I came to be grateful for the way in which it turned my life inside out and called me to change fundamental things. I am grateful to the good healers who challenged me and grateful for all of the love. I gained more than I lost.
As I completed discussions for what is ostensibly a retirement contract, I have to realize that life has passed by much faster than I intellectually or physically was aware - While I have experienced much in my 65 years - I have so much more I want to do - and places I want to see - and it is becoming apparent that I better get on with it before I run out of time.
Starting over from a false (fraud) start. I was engaged to a ghost. I'm determined to shake the limp from that stumble. I forgive him AND forgive myself. Relieved and grateful- working and praying towards inspired. Healthy, honest Love and purposeful professional/financial success are the desires of my heart. I am certain that I will have a safe, balanced, fulfilled LIFE. Ayin Resh Yud Amen
Moved to Florida to start with PRP. Hopeful, but worried about the effect on me and the family. Grateful for the opportunity, hopeful I'm up to the challenge of doing something so far out of my confort zone.
I changed jobs. Was fired from last job, looked for another for months, lost hope eventually but then got a job with a great supervisor, great hours, and satisfying work. Also adopted a dog. That sweet puppy. :)
Just ONE??? This past year I: Lost 25 pounds and got back to my Weight Watchers Goal of 134. Completed the 13.1k L.A. Marathon in UNDER 3 and 1/2 hours! Left my horrible job, started my own speakers bureau business, published my third novel and started working for Weight Watchers as a Leader and Event Coordinator for our territory. Sold our house we lived in for the past 20 years and moved to a very nice home in Oxnard. Became a grandmother!! I feel better than I have in YEARS! No financial stress, LOVE my job, really looking forward to the future instead of dreading it.
I started college. At first, I was really nervous. I couldn't stop obsessing, will I like my classes, what will the dorm be like, will the bathroom be clean? All my worries turned out to be completely wrong, though. This has been the greatest experience of my life so far.
I met my boyfriend half a year ago. This is my wish from last years 10Q come true! I am 37 and I have never before been so completely in love like this. I have found the one I always hoped was out there. I am grateful, inspired, content, excited, sometimes vulnerable and scared of losing him. I love sharing life with him and his kids. I am quite particular and amazed to have found someone who matches me so well and to have a found a love that is so great.
This past summer I spent 3 weeks in Israel. I learned more about myself than I thought I could. I volunteered and spent hours listening to social activists and saw first-hand all of the conflict Israel faces. It was so meaningful to me because this side of Israel is something I never was taught in hebrew school or heard about in the news. As a Jew, I am taught to support Israel and all of their actions. I learned on my trip that in order to be an Israel Advocate, one must question Israel's decisions and understand all political viewpoints; not just Israel's. I was so struck by this that I came home inspired to share my knowledge with everyone. Now, 2 months later, I am applying to be a part of the AIPAC Youth Summit where I hope to be able to follow up on my mission in Israel. Being in Israel also confirmed to me that I will make Aliyah as soon as I graduate college. I feel that I need to live in Israel. I also know now that I want to pursue a gap year program between high school and college. I need to take a year and do me. I will learn Hebrew, do community service, figure out what I will do there when I come back after school, and just "be" in Israel. I also learned that I want to help people when I grow up. I have not decided how. Possibly through Social Work, a non-profit, or Judaism, or maybe a combination of all three! I have time to figure this all out though. I just love Israel and all that it stands for, so, so much. I also learned you must be your own advocate. Truth.
Several significant things happened in the past year. I met Nat October 6, 2011. I didn't know then how important a part of my life he would become or how much he would mean to me. I'm very grateful for my relationship with him. I've begun to dream what life could be like with him over the next few decades ... and it's so lovely. It's kind of weird looking ahead and realizing that our life-span, and not something we ourselves are responsible for doing, will be the limitation on how long we have with one another. It's at once sobering ... and freeing. It makes what I'm looking for in a relationship and what I'm striving to build with him so ... realistic? ... or is it simple? I know now that simply wanting to be with someone who really loves me and respects me who I am and UNDERSTANDS what I am in my world ... along with being someone who is successful in his own world and who I can respect ... that this is what's really important to me. That we can turn to one another at the end of the day and lie in bed talking about everything and nothing ... sharing everything we hope, feel, think, dream of ... this is what means the most to me about our relationship. I'm very lucky ... and very blessed.
I lost my job and had a somewhat difficult time finding a new job. While I am happy to have a new job, I constantly think about the time I was not employed. I questioned my worth while unemployed. I doubted myself and reached the lowest psychological sense I have ever had in my life and have come to realize that a job doesn't define who you are. Being employed currently, I also find a greater place in my life for friends and family. I am very thankful for how supportive they were while unemployed and put a greater emphasis on these relationships with my supporters.
I became a grandmother...a Bubbe!!! My grandson, Samuel, was born on Father's Day, June 17th, 2012. I did not know that I could love another person the way I love my children; but sure enough, there is room in my heart and soul for my new little man. This new chapter in my life, so far, has been extraordinary. I am so fortunate, that I am able to see Samuel several times a week. I am in awe, as his development. Every week, there is something new and wonderful to witness. He is chuckling and smiling so much now. He has so much to tell us, through his babbling. We are so blessed that he is healthy and surrounded by a family that love and adore him.
A month at a catholic university were I held several discussions on complex issues, such as homosexuality, pre-marital sex, divorce, church history and I discovered I cannot be catholic anymore. I am relieved, in a way. I am not inspired but I am grateful for the opportunity to debate in an enviroment of respect.
There are a lot of things that happened this year. I've spent my first "full" year working at Epic (save for the time I was off for my two surgeries.) It has been exciting, fulfilling, and sad all at the same time. I miss my students, and I miss teaching, but I don't miss the politics, Jeff, Fitz, and most of my coworkers. It nearly broke me in half when Jeff was so cruel to me about him, Fitz and my "colleagues" not wanting me to return because of my negative attitude. I know I can be negative, but the environment didn't foster much positivity. I've become to understand what real coworkers are like. They want to work through problems, not just complain about them. They act like adults and confront problems and people, rather than just gossiping or going to the supervisor. My supervisor does what I do every day, checks in with me every week (at least once), and therefore, I respect his feedback--positive or negative. People are given responsibility and praised for the good job they do--not berated for what they don't do. If an employee is failing or doing something wrong, they get chances to improve themselves--there's not a witch hunt to get them fired. My coworkers like me, enjoy what I bring to the team, and don't see my ability to work hard and do a good job as a threat. It's not all wine and roses, but I feel less stressed and more desirous of going to work. Also, my coworkers care about me as person--they visited when I had my second surgery and decorated my door for my birthday. My coworkers in Fort never did anything like that for me. I left my theatre program for good, and another woman took it over. I saw the play, and it made me incredibly sad that the kids weren't being pushed to the artistic achievements that I felt I pushed them to. I went into teaching because I felt passionate about it, and really wanted to teach the kids about theatre and what it's like--not just have them get up on stage and recite some lines. It was disappointing to see my work just dissolve, and to see that the audience, teachers and even some of the kids I worked with couldn't tell the difference. I dated a poly-amorous, married, bisexual, cross dressing guy. It was an interesting, fun and confusing relationship. I learned a lot about what I want and need in a relationship and what I won't tolerate. I did some things that I never thought I was do--like meet his wife. When it was "over," he wasn't willing to make the break up move, so I did it. And I didn't feel too terrible about it. I traveled for work and was able to see the inside of an operating room while surgeries were going on. I've learned so much more about the medical industry and anesthesiologists. I turned 30, which didn't affect me as much as I thought it would. Yes, I wanted to be further in my life now--okay, married--but I'm happy with where I am--most days. I bought a condo--I made one of my first big purchased as an Adult. I've bought cars before, but this was much more money, and I own it. I've made a choice to settle in Verona, instead of being able to up and move any time I want to. And I've increased my saving so I feel like I might be able to DO something about my debt. I lost my first grandparent in August. My Grandma Schultz passed away at the beginning of August. Thankfully, I was able to see her before she died; I don't like my last memory of her being hooked up to all kinds of machine in a hospital. But I also feel blessed that I had all four of my grandparents in my life for 30 years. I got up the courage, after almost 6 year, to tell another guy I liked him. I got the same answer as I did the first time, and the situation was different, but I did it. While it hurt to be rejected, I need to take strength in the fact that I did it. Wow. It's been quite a year!
This past year I became vice president of my youth group chapter, and it was one of happiest moments of my life. I'm so grateful because elections are really competitive. It is a huge responsibility, and it is very time consuming, but I really like it and am so proud to have been elected.
My dog was diagnosed with teminal bladder cancer. In addition to an overwhelming grief and sense of loss is a deep fear as to whether I can handle the sadness. I literally felt that I simply could not do it, could not survive. I was filled with fear: that I would hang onto her and let her suffer; that I would forget about her; that she would forget about me; that I would never love another dog; that I would never recover from the sorrow. With chemotherapy, she may live another eight months, maybe even a year, with no suffering unlike human chemo. I have unrealistic fantasies that she will be a miracle and live out her normal lifespan, another five years or so. By living in this fantasy I'm afraid I am deferring the grief I felt at her diagnosis and it will be even worse. I know there's a lot of baggage in these feelings that I need to work out.
I helped my elderly mother downsize her living arrangements. Here is a woman who is 97, nearly blind, deaf, with congestive heart failure who decides she is ready to move from her apartment into - independent living....a building in the middle of town similar to a cruise ship - providing luxury meals in the dining hall, activities and programming day and evening, but no assistance. Relieved? Yes....to help her go through her treasures while she is still alive. Inspired? Yes, because among those belongings were letters of love sent between she and my father in the days when the lived on different continents, courting by mail, when 'long distance' was prohibitively expensive. These letters give me a window into my own history and the legacy of the people who raised me. Resentful? No.
Last night something happened, actually. I was at an InterVarsity Night of Worship. The theme was about being broken. Everything that was said made me think about how I was terrified about the next part of the year. I just finished with New Student Outreach events and therefore would have more time on my hands. That scares me because in the past I have not liked who I become when I have a lot of time. By the time the evening was over I felt God calling to me telling me that I would be fine, that I am His and that He will carry me through. It was the greatest feeling. I felt like weights were being taken off of me every time I took a deep breath.
I took a short course with the OU which led to a long course - extremely challenging but really brilliant. This began as a way of finally ceasing to resent having had my musical education truncated when I was young. It's done much more than that. Grateful, relieved - inspired!
Ending my friendship with Jim. It's had longer lasting repercussions than I would expect. I occasionally miss him but overall, I am relived. It feels as though I have let go of a lingering part of the past. I wish there could have been a different outcome, but I don't know that there could have been one, given his expectations and my boundaries. I feel as though I have learned a great deal about friendship, what I can and cannot do as a friend, the commitments I can and cannot keep.
Nikki's wedding and it's subsequent non-events are probably the biggest learning experience for me. At one point I was deeply depressed and saddened by our estrangement, blaming myself for all that had happened. It has literally caused me to examine all my relationships and detach from most of them. It has caused this year to be one of introspection, putting myself at the center of my life, and remembering who I am at the core. And I must admit I am grateful for it all, for in detaching from most things, I have been able to make space for the unexpected. I am more content, less reactive, and in general open to what comes. That does not mean I wish Nikki and I would still find our way back, and that at times I still feel resentful for some of it. But it no longer plunges me into the depths of despair. I continue to send her love, but I start with loving myself first.
I merged my dental practice in with another one. You ask if I feel grateful, relieved, resentful or inspired. I think I feel all of these, especially since it only happened six weeks ago. Time will tell, as they say.
This year got back to normal life activities, recovering from daughters untimely death a year ago. Traveled to visit relatives and renewed family ties. Established new freindships through aerobics class at The J. I am grateful for family and friends and relieved that our life is getting back to normal
RYLA. Graduation. Quit Smoking. Med-Free. Meeting Drew. Oregon Coast Bike Tour. Moved into 2-bed apartment with Tegan. I can fit into a size 6/8 after a decade of being plus sized. Accepted Jesus as my role model and homeboy. This year...has had many significant experiences. I have been profoundly changed from them all. More than the others, RYLA impacted me the most - and this has to say a lot. Such a special retreat, I learned more about who I really am in the big picture, what I can do best, how I affect others, and who my best friends look like. I feel like RYLA was my 2012 rebirth, reincarnating as the tenacious Sadie I've always been and always wanted to be. I am emotional, I am so thankful. I am in such vibration and awe, such appreciation and respect for how I have managed to feel my way out of depression and danger into a world of beautiful light and energy. I really am just getting to know myself. And really love myself as others really love me. It's so much easier when I'm just being me, sticking to my word & constantly respecting my personal boundaries. I am glad that I can self-talk without working myself up. This enables me to not only listen to myself better, but others as well. My relationships are flourishing!
I was "unseated" from the work position i had held for 12 years in a company i had helped build from a small group of people to over 150. I was offered an "opportunity" for less money to create a new position in the company. It was positioned as a great thing but felt initially like a terrible blow. I could no longer identify myself with what I do and it created a void because the new position is something i must create. And so, it has been a journey. 5 months now and while i am nervous because i am the chief breadwinner of my family, i am cautiously excited by what i am discovering is a real opportunity. It requires me to think! And be brave. I am letting go of my resentment and anger a bit each day because it is not helping me to grow in this new direction. I used to work 60+ hours on an average week. Many many late nights and weekends. I have been having dinner with my husband almost every night. I am out of the toxic situation i was in for the year prior to my job change. I am relieved. I am grateful. I am a bit inspired though a little afraid. And i am working to let go of my resentments and that is a positive thing. What seemed like my world ending is really a new world for me and i am thinking of what is even next after i build this new position.
I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My world has changed for ever. I am grateful and truly happy. I have grown as a person. I feel inspired to create, teach and share.
Ok here we go. No doubt the bigest thing that happened was the end of my wonderful, magical and all the best words can describe relationship with the most awesome person my Martushka. It was me who ended it. I thought I'm doing right thing. I was blaming her for holding me from moving forward with our lifes, for holding from starting some business. I wanted to travel the world for half a year and thought that she's holding me, but when we weren't together no more I didn't do any of those things, neither I went to live to OZ. It was all me, all my fault. The easiest was to blame her, the person I so loved. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. So I don't feel relieved at all. This was very hard year, massive lesson learned- "you don't know what you had until you lose it". I lost her and understood how privileged I was to be with her. She is irreplaceable. Still is. She still is the love of my life and always will be. I will see if Earl Nightingale's story works. He says "you become what you think about, just plant the seed to your mind and you will have what you want". I want my Marta back more than anything else in my life. I want our life to meaningful again. I want to have dreams together with you my baby. I hope, well not just hope, I will do everything in my powers to have you back. If this will take a year, so be it. I want you to read this in exactly a years time. I want to grow to show you my potential. I want us to have bright future ahead. I will put a lot of effort in to Amway business. We have to be together. We must. We are strong together. The effect of our breakup! I understood a lot about myself. I started seeing myself from different perspective, from other people's eyes, from real side. I can't be just a dreamer, I need to act for real. I can't waste my life. Need to focus and yet I didn't learn this. Focus is real challenge for me. Marta new how to focus, she was teaching me, but I was so stubborn, I didn't want to listen. I want now. I will now. I appreciate you so much more. I am so thankful to you for being with me all this time. Please lets be together again. That's no fantasy no more. I'll have to make it reality. However hard it is to admit, but there is some positive in this disaster. If I didn't break up with you, I would've probably still be miserable stubborn and still blame you for my minuses. I learn so much about myself this year. I lost so much too. But what comes for free it is very difficult to appreciate. You were too easy on me, you forgave me for everything easy. Please don't think I am complaining. I love you my skarbie. I always will. Will power is so strong and I am struggling with it a bit. I am still learning. By the way while we were together I had: you, house, car, money, life... Now I am £5000 in debt, really hard to believe. You make our life's full. Lets make our dreams come true together! I love you babe. Be my forever Maziuk!
Whew, a lot has happened this year. I graduated from High School, turned 18, then came to college. I'm definitely glad to be done with high school - all the rules and the cliques and the funky teenager stuff. But it feels weird leaving that all behind. I went to the same school for 13 years, K-12, and now I'm in a totally new place in a completely new city with new people and everything. I was totally uprooted this summer. I've been doing well here though, and I do not regret my choice to come this far away from home for college. As for me turning 18, haha, I haven't even done anything besides register to vote that requires me being 18.
I can't really think of any specific event from the last year. It's been kind of boring...? I am just getting 'settled' in adult life in this city. I put in my first full year at a 'real' job. It's full of meh. More banal than special.
Someone at work claimed I was abrupt and very bossy, at first my knee jerk reaction was anger and resentment but...then, the LORD revealed to me how my "assertive" way could be interpreted as abrupt, and bossy...it forced me to reevaluate all my interactions with others and how my way may be kind of scary to others. It helped me "tone down" my perfectionism and high expectations of others.
This year, I will turn 50. With this moment approaching, I found the courage to start blogging. I had always writen for personal reasons, but had difficulty sharing my thoughts on paper. It has been great, scary, intimidating, fulfilling in a way that I can't put into words and finally, it has given me an extraordinary sense of achievement and confidence. Approaching 50 is the most emotional birthday I have ever had. I am nervous, resentful, happy, relieved, full of energy and depressed. I am embracing every moment of this journey. I search for what is next and am reaching for the stars. At the same time, I am loving my family and friends more deeply than ever before. As a dearly departed friend used to say, "It is all good."
I have had what I call "The Year of Job" when, suddenly, little things are going wrong physically. It has affected me because I was hampered from doing things I liked and wanted to do. I had bone spurs on the top of my feet which stopped me from bicycling or wearing certain shoes and caused a great deal of sleeplessness due to pain. Then I gained weight and couldn't fit into my clothes. Then it was a pulled shoulder, thyroid problems, restless leg syndrome, and other things. Then I became very sensitive to medications and went through several withdrawals which was unpleasant. I felt very depressed and resentful. Then I visited two good doctors who are helping me work it out. Peter helped me to get fitted properly on my bicycle and get new shoes so I could ride once again. It seemed that when I felt physically bad, I could barely drag myself about. Help took a while to arrive, and now I am grateful, very grateful. However, I also had a wonderful experience which I can relate. I started a chapter of a Judaic-themed, national needlework group locally, and have had a very positive response. I have met some really nice and talented people, and many people seem to like the group and are glad to be a part of it. So it has been a positive thing for me personally, for others, and for the community. I am so inspired by the talent displayed by others, and their enthusiasm for the group.
In the past year, I had to make an incredibly tough decision. Do I date a boy I am in love with, or do I break up with him because my religion forbids him and me from getting married. I wrestled with this internally for almost a year, until I finally came to the realization that as much as I love him and can't see myself with anyone else, God must have someone else out there for me who will make me EVEN happier, and with whom I won't have to hide my relationship. As much as my heart grieves even now, I know that I made the right choice for me. I have been inspired not to waste any minute of any day because life is too short not to be living it to the fullest with people who make you happy.
This year has felt much more like a year of things just chugging along. Towards the end of this year, I stepped away from my involvement with all my prior activities and have tried to take on something new and more challenging. The lack of anything specific and significant had left me feeling stuck and lethargic and only now do I feel I can move forward. If I had to name something specific, it would have to be my father's continued decline in health and my active decision to be helpful yet not responsible for his day to day needs. I still feel guilty but it was right for me.
Grateful! The break up with Jon really seemed to seal the deal in that I had "learned" my lesson from the breakup wih Charlie and the brutal lessons in Philly, yet, I hadn't had my "a-ha" I'm okay moment yet until breaking up with Jon and then having my car break down on top of it all. The breakup with C left me feeling like he wasn't the one after I finally healed and that maybe Philly wasn't the place. But then I lept again think Jon was the answer all along. I think I needed that brutal answer that no one but yourself is ever the answer. I think I needed the brutality of it all to really wake me up. I'm so grateful to feel more awake to my own reality and to feel that I alone need to answer to myself and most importantly that I can live my life without fear and just enjoy it. Be grateful everyday for life and enjoy it without feeling encumbered by fear and thoughts of where I should be, because where I am is exactly where I need to be. That's a super freeing thought. It also allows room for much happiness and happiness for others. It also allows a lot of compassion when you've hit rock bottom and build your life back up again without being encumbered with prejudices and belief systems that were never your own.
after a long illness with depression two things happened,I found out about vibrational energy and how strong an influence positive thoughts are over what happens to us.and was inspired by the tv heros using this knowledge to save the world.it made me realise I held more power over my life than I had ever thought possible,at nearly 44 years old. I got myself off medications,finally took care of myself,lost weight, found a healthy relationship and rediscoverd my artist talents.I'm now about to start university because I learnt to believe in myself and that the universe wants me to succeed.
This summer, I spent six weeks traveling in Thailand and Cambodia. It was the most amazing experience. First, the social situation was so great, and the group was so close, that it really reassured me that what happened in Russia was just a fluke, and that absolute social isolation is not characteristic of me or going to be a recurring theme (although FOP had already done a lot to help me realize that). Second, it totally changed my perception of what it means to be a good person, or the kind of person I look up to. Hanging out with Tiny Toones and the deportees, I was spending time with people who had been in gangs, and were preventing the spread of HIV in Cambodia through educational break dance performances; who were cheating on their pregnant girlfriends, and who did workshops about drug and alcohol awareness; who didn't invite their girlfriends to the table at dinner, but treated Diamond, a lesbian BGirl, as a sibling; who had been drug dealers, had teardrops tattooed on their faces, who were deported from the USA, and were transforming the lives of the street children of Phnom Penh through dance, art, music, and education; and most of all, who looked fairly intimidating, but who sang lullabies and were afraid of cats and water. I always sort of thought of people as 'they are fundamentally good but have these flaws' or 'they do these good things, but I don't think they are a good person overall'. Cambodia taught me that there is not fundamental character to a person, and that no one can be judged as good or bad -- there is a mix in everyone, and while the levels of each can vary, so too can the intensity of both. Finally, it made me majorly reevaluate what I want to be doing with my life. Before, I thought I might go into the arts. After this summer, I know I would like to use the arts, but I will be wildly disappointed with myself if I don't do something to directly improve the world. Maybe it's cliche. I want to get an internship with an NGO of some sort for next summer. I might be designing my own concentration at school. I think this will be good.
I suppose the easy answer is that my son was born. It's something I'm still grappling with, to be perfectly honest. I'm used to a certain routine in my life, and an infant doesn't know the meaning of the word, so it's a struggle.
My son started college this year. It has not been an easy road for him and I am relieved and proud and hopeful. Secretly, I feel like I've joined the ranks of normal parents. I do not expect it to be an easy year, or an easy four years. My son has to learn to push himself forward and stay on task. He needs to guard against depression. And we will have to contend with money, moving forward. But he has started at a college that I think is perfect for him right now. Thank you for your blessings, God.
I was asked to direct the Senior High Youth Camp - and it went off very well! I felt grateful and inspired... and somewhat relieved, to be honest.
I completed my first book, The Hormone Cure: Reclaim Balance, Sleep, Sex Drive, and Vitality Naturally with The Gottfried Protocol. What was most significant about the process was stepping into a new conversation about hormones and what I call the "neurohormonal dashboard." We have an epidemic of hormone imbalance in this country and it's being treated with exactly the wrong things--26% of US women take a drug for mental health, and most of them have an underlying hormone problem. I want to change that! I'm inspired and thrilled to reset our approach to hormones and women's health.
Child Support almost done.. (just 4 more years - unless Son gets left back in school again)
I started a teaching job, after some 16 years of working as a marketing and communications manager. Although not always easy, I think that passing through knowledge to young people so that they can be better prepared for jobs in the future is great. And it give's me a good feeling that I can help them to be better marcommers than I ever was.
This last year I returned in the United States after two years abroad. I thought I was coming home, but what I felt was that I was leaving home again. It made me evaluate what really is home. Is it where I grew up? Is it where my family is? I am reminded of the conversation I had with my host uncle. I could do whatever I want in my life because I wasn't a kid anymore. That sticks with me because even though I'm not a kid, I still feel like I'm basing all of my decisions on what my parents would want. When does that change? When I get married and start having my own family? Coming back made me reevaluate what I want from life and how to really go for it. I hope that I continue to hold on to what I think is dear instead of basing my life decisions on what other people think.
The most significant experience for me has been working too much & trying to deal with a rental house 1,200 miles away. These situations have been challenging but I continue to look forward & believe in their time everything will work out
I met a man who checked boxes I didn't even know I had. People told me I had high expectations, and I guess I did. I do. And then I met R who reminded me that someone can surpass your expectations with their kindness, their intelligence, their gentleness and their humor. I am inspired. I don't know where this will go, but I am grateful that someone set the bar so high.
This summer was insane. I was so not looking forward to going home, but it ended up being exactly what I needed. I spent almost all of it with Seth and Marcus, and we fellowshipped all the time. I remember when I was driving to work one day, I was reflecting on what the Lord was asking from me - everything - and I realized that I had to either live life His way or turn away right then. There was no other options. I really thought about it. I think I finally understood how people could turn away. Then I remembered that there was really only ONE option. Turning away wouldn't. I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine. I was already owned. Peter's words really struck me. "Lord, to whom shall we go? For you have the words of eternal life."
Admitting to myself that sexuality was a sliding scale, and gender is more complicated than others would have us believe. Allowing myself to love impartial to gender.
Just last year, I was stuck in FT Benning for 6 months. I thought I was never getting home or going to stay in the military. In fact I wanted to quit while I was down there. It was tough being in Infantry school, I dint like it, and I wanted to change my MOS as soon as I had a chance. But looking back on it, I am proud I went through it, and earn the title infantry. I am very proud I got a chance to receive the blue cord, which many people do not have . I'm glad they did not let me quit, because I like being in the military and I want to continue to stay in. Physical fitness has always been my probe, But I will overcome this somehow. I am very grateful and relieved that they kept me in the military because I was able to get the GI Bill while in school, so that helped me out in dark times.
Last September I was privileged to visit Ethiopia where ancient history seems to still live in its villages and wild countryside. It is a deeply Coptic Christian nation with close historical ties with Judaism. Solomon and Sheba, the Lion of Judah, Crosses and Stars of David pictured interlocking on many of its churches. The old and new testaments are referred to in its brilliantly painted churches. But more than the amazing subterranean churches of Lalibela, or the monasteries on great Lake Tana--from which the White Nile merges with the Blue on into Egypt--or walking the hillsides with the wild, docile Gilada baboons in their family groupings in the soaring Simien Mountain...it was the deep, personal realization that the little barefoot 6 year old boy leading the cattle to the weekly market many miles away and back again with any goods he could get in trade---That 6 year old is my grandson Ben or Jake living only a few thousand miles away. Ben and Jake lead lives of so many choices, so much plenty. This little boy will grow up to be a man....leading his cattle to the weekly market so many miles away. I hope his world gets larger. I hope he finds happiness in his world. I feel great empathy and very, very grateful.
Eleven months ago, I was driving down the street with S/L/E in the car. We went to Best Buy to get birthday gift cards for S and C. I came home with the worst headache ever. Two days later I was diagnosed with a macular hole (hole in back of my eye). Two days after that I had surgery to repair it. The recovery was bad. But I got through it. By January, I thought it was behind me. And then in March I found out the hole had opened again. And I had a cataract, too. So, recovery again. All together, I have spent at least 7 of the past 11 months not lifting my 2 year old daughter. 3 months not driving. I can't go through this again. So. In terms of its effect on me, I'm terrified. Terrified of hitting my head and opening the surgical wound again. Terrified of becoming pregnant (Morning sickness and vomiting would again, strain the eye. Not to mention the physical strain of labor and delivery). Terrified of forgetting to wear my sunglasses on a bright day (I keep imagining the "ants under a magnifying glass" scene, except frying the back of my eye). Worried about crying too hard or shouting too hard.
I left my job of over 5 years to move halfway across the country in hopes of returning to school. It was a huge adjustment for all of us that I hope was for the best. In some ways, it has been positive because I have freedom to make a new start and be more assertive and self-confident. However, it has been stressful because some aspects have not panned out like I expected. I am proud of myself for taking this "leap of faith", whether things work out or not.
Nan passed away. Quite emotional. It usually take a lot to bring a tear or two and that, and the funeral did.
Well my husband got a job on April 1st. This means he was unemployed from July -- April. We are very thankful. He had 2 other interviews which he didn't get the job for -- one with Amazon, coming to Columbia; and one with IT-Tech, where he would've had a job sitting in a little cubicle in a little building, for a little school & would have been MISERABLE. At USC, he has 1/2 the buildings on campus & is supervisor over the maintenance of them, with a lot of people and crews working under him. Supervisors under him as well. So he is back into management, which is an area where he excels. We survived his unemployment through our own determination, volition, creativity, suffering & prayers. No one helped us, & no one in any government or agency cared if we made it or not. We retained our house, somewhat through the understanding of the bottom-line owner of it, to whom we still make payments. We are still in nebulous status on buying it. We are seen as the owners by the Federal government, but not South Carolina govt., as we paid a down payment of $4000. and make regular payments, but we are not yet financed through a bank. We do have a legal contract written up. The owner is in such dire financial straights that he worked with us through this difficult financial time and was happy to get any payments we made & happy we did not move out. I think it will take another year for us to truly feel on top of things and be caught up on our bills. I have not yet paid on my student loan.
I got engaged. I cannot describe how happy I am.
I moved to California. This is sort of HUGE because it is the next step in laying out my foundational roots. This is also metaphorical (in a realistic, literal way!) because it means that I can redirect my energy that I had been putting into traveling; into building skill, projects, relationships, studies- and most importantly; framework to SHARE myself for the benefit & injoyment of all. Finding Long Beach specifically; is a massive key. There is UNDOUBTEDLY a huge vortex here of energetic people CREATING and DOING in very very positive, PROGRESSIVE ways. The environment is extremely creative; and is a center, I see, for affecting the (future and current) culture of the modern GLOBE. I am SO INCREDIBLY grateful for the journey that lead me here; and the fact that I am now here. I am so INCREDIBLY relieved to find & become a part of a community that I feel not only "gets" & inspires me; but sees ME as an equally important link in THEIR own inspiration and evolution! I am relieved to find a HOME that I can feel confident & happy "staying put" in as well as taking off for yonder visits; and knowing that I have the perfect place for now to land back into; and to integrate my learning. This place/people is SO INCREDIBLE FERTILE, continuously learning. I AM INSPIRED. It is only a bit challenging to figure out WHICH is the best way to accomplish my goal of LIVING & SUSTAINING a life of JOY. Keeps me on my toes! I LOVE LONG BEACH!
I find myself at the age of 56 with two jobs working nights and six days a week. It is taxing. And yet, I have met others unable to find work at all, losing their homes, their health and I thank the spirits of the world for my tired bones and stretched psyche. The leaders of our country and state keep saying things are getting better, but for who?They continue to spend money we don't have on things we don't need, bailing out big industry deemed to big to fail. There are so many small people like me and other less fortunate. Are we too small to save? Help each other. Give what you can. And become vocal. If we band together, left, right, occupyers, tea partyers, americans, aliens, we can make it a better world. Love to you all Sharon
My second son arrived in the world a couple of weeks into the new year. A late-decision to have a planned section also meant my second major surgery, but much less stress than last time. The start of another new chapter for our family, he is a very welcome addition. I am already amazed at how different he is to his older brother!
I got married!! That to me is the most amazing thing to happen to me. I was once married and never thought I would find someone that I would want to take that step with again. I am in awe, I am grateful, I am filled with joy, I am filled with happiness, I am filled with peace. I love Lea with all that I am!
Something that happened in the past year that really affected me was CLTC. I went away for 12 days and it was really hard on me. I had a really tough time making and keeping friends and I felt tired and homesick for almost the whole time. I did however learn a lot that I'm super excited to bring back to my chapter, though they really don't like listening to me.
A very close friend went through major problems in her relationship. It made me appreciate my marriage. It helped me appreciate my husband, even when he annoys me. It made me appreciate my relationship with my friend. I realized that it's good to be there for a friend, but it is important to continue to share about myself and not make it all about her.
I faced the sensation of being a failure head on, following a terribly low income in 2011 and 6 months of none to start 2012. It gave me the opportunity to face my own resistance to asking for help, even as someone who is in the helping profession. I'm grateful to have passed through it and out the other side, stepped up and spoke to 10 people about what was going on and solicit ideas for solutions. I hope to have rewired myself to trust in those who care about me as a safe place to tell truth about how things are going, even when it isn't rosy. At a minimum, to face challenges 'sooner' than in the past.
The person who i am closest to, was raped. On holiday. I saw her covered in blood, i saw her cry, i heard her say she didn't want to live anymore. I was there when she finally acknowledged that she was raped. I was there when he was arrested. I sat in a police station for hours, exhausted, scared, angry, while being spoken at in spanish. I had to tell the same things over and over again. I cried myself to sleep for months. I still can't get over it, not really.
my daughter is getting married and as she and Michael make a home together, build their careers, start their family, Alan and I move into a new chapter of healthy and vital elder hood.
En Semana Santa, viajé a Estados Unidos por primera vez, conocí a la familia de Austin, y me comprometí! Mi vida cambió completamente desde entonces, estoy muy contenta, tranquila, agradecida... Sé que todo va a estar bien, que Austin me quiere de verdad, que las cosas se van acomodando para crear una familia y una vida como la que siempre soñé: llena de amor, viajes, aventuras, familia, amigos, nuevas cosas por aprender...
I fell in love. I feel lucky.
I played music in front of an non-captive audience, for the first time in many years. It was exhilarating.
An unexpected hospitalization cast light on why I was not feeling well for a long time. I'm grateful that my doctor took action and I had the support of friends. I'm very relieved that the diagnosis was not serious and inspired to take better care of myself.
The big event this past year was a 14 night transatlantic repositioning cruise from Rome to Ft. Lauderdale on the Royal Caribbean ship Navigator of the seas last fall. Our first cruise. Spent a week in Rome prior to boarding then two weeks on the ship. A new and wonderful experience which we will be repeating, but not too often. Would like to sail from Southampton and spend a couple weeks in England prior to that.
In March, we were in a car accident that resulted in whiplash and the car being totaled. It took me 5 months to replace the car, and I'm still being treated for the whiplash. Ultimately, I am grateful and proud, however it was a long, long 5 month odyssey. I was angry, scared, discouraged, resentful, worried along the way: it took me to my deepest fears about money, judgments about how I make decisions, worry that I would make the wrong decision, frustration with myself, deep resistance to asking for help - and anger that no one was fixing it for me. Having to figure out how to get anyplace every single time we left the house was draining. Words don't quite capture the depth of fear and worry this event inspired. The gratitude and pride are the result of feeling confident that I made the right choice for me, found the car that inspires happiness every time I get behind the wheel, and I did it on my own.
I went to hypnotherapy about a month ago, and it has absolutely changed my live. Almost ridiculously so. I feel like a veil, made of anger and resentment, irritation and snarkyness, has been lifted from around me - absolutely magnificent and very much relieving! Anger has left me, to a large extent, and it feels great. Since the day I came home from this session my youngest immediately started becoming amost as cuddly towards me as he's always been to his dad. I wonder if he senses the big difference? I think so! I highly recommend hypno therapy if you haven't tried it. I've just booked my second session!
Well I went to college. And that's been awesome. SO there's that.
Running my first marathon. London Marathon April 2012. Training went really well. Half marathon completed February 2012 in just under 2 hours. Disappointed to finish my first marathon in 5 hrs 16 mins 30 secs. I went out too fast, struggled from half way stage. However, I decided to run and walk, enjoy the experience and still get a PB. Now determined to break 4hrs 30mins. Training (currently) for the Portsmouth Coastal Marathon (December 2012) and then aiming for 4hrs 30mins at Brighton Marathon (April 2013). Managing to run a marathon has given me belief in myself and inspired me to look for bigger challenges. Next goal is the North Downs Way 50 mile run and/or a triathlon in 2013.
The most significant experience was being given the gift of a trip to Israel for our ten year anniversary. It has affected me in ways I can't even begin to put into words. I feel like I was standing on my anncestors' shoulders. I believe I am the only one in my family that has had this opportunity. I am grateful beyond all measure of words, first to my beloved husband for telling me I was going no matter what argument I offered. He said it was important to him to do this and that he would put us in debt to make it happen. Secondly, I am grateful to my Partner in Torah study partner/friend Jordana, who unbeknown to me, acted on my saying that it was a dream of mine to go to Israel.
My husband had Gastric Bypass Surgery. I was hopeful that it would solve a lot of his health issues, but now I'm afraid he can't make the necessary adjustments to his lifestyle in order to make it a successful solution.
There have been a couple of significant experiences this year. The major one was almost a year ago my mother died. I'm relieved she's no longer in pain. It was a long hard battle and I'm grateful it's over, although I wish she had beat it.
Moving to Rome is pretty significant. This October marks one year calling Rome home. It's a struggle. I miss home and I miss my friends but I am learning a new language, learning how to be more content and less desire to change so much. I like making my house nice and comfortable. I have to learn to live with someone. Sometimes I feel that I am letting some of my strongest independence leave me. Sometimes I feel that learning to give and see what I receive is maybe a better characteristic to have. It is hard to give without knowing what you will receive. I am trusting that is the right thing to do. Even if it breaks my heart. I hope I keep giving.
A year ago I was offered the job of a lifetime, and it came at the exact moment at which it was most needed. Everything about the offer was wonderful, because it felt both wildly random and like I had earned something I worked for; because it came after decades of part time work while I raised kids, thinking I'd given up the promise of a big career; because it came just after my youngest child left home, so no one had to sacrifice for me to take the job; because I was finally making enough money not to have to worry about money all the time; because it gave me a community and a purpose just as my kids were leaving and my marriage was ending. It's been a big adjustment, as hard to find the energy to work all day, all week as to figure out when to STOP working, but I have never had a single day where I didn't feel enormously grateful for the opportunity.
This is not so much the past year but the past 18 months. My partner lost two legs and an arm after he stepped on an IED in Afghanistan. At first I was very afraid and very fearful for him. I worried about him becoming depressed, I worried about his feelings for me, I worried what the future would look like for us. I then became incredibly angry at him for going and angry about the consequences it had for our relationship. I grieved heavily for all the things that were not now 'possible'. I have spent a lot of the last year angry, resentful and afraid. Things have changed recently. I no longer mourn what is 'lost' as heavily but instead focus on what is present. I feel inspired by him and I feel optimistic about our future. I am still fearful and I still have many doubts. But the anger has shifted a little and our relationship is far more secure.
A significant experience... That is a tough one. This whole year has been crazy. I experienced my first miracle, lost a close family member, totaled my car, tasted true freedom, graduated from HS with my Associates Arts degree, and now I am a freshman in college..... I would say that in the past year I have learned what it means to experience something for the first time. 'Firsts' are vital to life. While they mark the beginning of one era they also signify the ending of another. A First will always give the opportunity for fresh starts and will almost always be dauntingly uncertain. Above all, a First must be treated simultaneously with great care and with great abandon, for it will never come again. This knowledge has taken me years to acquire and infinitely more time to understand to this point. It now shapes that way that I go about my day to day life, from folding the laundry to staying out late. Ultimately I am intent in what I have learned thus far and anxious to learn more.
I spoke to my friend Donnie that I haven't been in touch with for almost 40 years. I am gratedful because it sort of brought me back to life a bit. Now there's something fun going on again in my life. It's nice knowing I can talk to him any time. This reunion has inspired me to stay on my diet and get myself looking better before I meet him in person.
I have realized that I don't have to forgive anything or any one. Everything that has happened to me is because it needed to happen so I could become more aware, more awake, more alive. I realize that everyone in my life is playing their role perfectly. I am learning to stop resisting and see what the event is showing me about me. I am studying these things daily and growing spiritually. I am much happier than I ever was. I am thankful for every event in my life, especially the crises that have taught me the most.
I just started a new job today. Up until this morning I have been dreading it - but right now - as I relax after a busy morning - I realize that this is truely my calling.
My new job. Its been very difficult, more so than I expected. I'm not failing, but I need to work on some bumps in the road.
A couple weeks ago I (literally) almost fainted, which scared my wife, she called 911, I had an ambulance-ride to the hospital, stayed for four nights! A blood-pressure issue, no pain, much boredom, not much sleep, lots of great nurses, great doctors, I'm feeling much better now. . . . How did it affect me? I'm more conscious of being 55 years old now. I'm grateful for the very good care I received. I'm grateful I had good medical insurance. I'm very grateful to my wife for continually taking good care of me.
There were three actually. My middle son graduated from college with great success. My youngest son graduated from high school and entered the college of his choice. As for me, I cleaned out our home of 25 years and prepared it to go on the market. As of this moment that's where it sits, so that part hasn't been so great... but I'm very proud that I slogged my way through most of 25 years-worth of stuff by myself and made choices for every item -- keep, recylce, give away, throw away, and in a very few cases, sell. Not easy either psychologically or physically. But it's almost done (though most of the kitchen is still there). I am relieved, mostly, to have gotten through it and to have downsized. I feel a lot freer being here in the apartment, though of course there are aspects of the house I miss -- the sound of our many birds, sitting on the porch, the security of having lived there and raised our kids there and knowing everything about it because we built it and made it aesthetically ours. I do miss all those things, but again, I'm proud of myself for doing it and starting a new life here.
My brother's wedding planning and the wedding itself took place this year. It was a harrowing experience because of all the turmoil it brought to our family. Argument after argument led to a family counseling session and upsetness even after the wedding was over. I enjoyed it (as did my brother) but I am concerned about the future interactions between my brother and new sister-in-law with our familt.
Florida! September 16th-October 1st 2011. Orlando Continental Plaza. My first ever journey by plane. My first time to America. My first experience of Disney & Universal Studios. I swam with dolphins and snorkelled with fish & rays at Discovery Cove. I saw Polar Bears and Beluga Whales at Seaworld. I visited Hogwarts & Seussland and rode on The Hulk in Universal Studios. I trick or treated at Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party in Magic Kingdom. I explored the many countries & watched the fireworks of EPCOT. I went on Safari & saw Gorillas at Animal Kingdom. I was amazed at the stunts in Hollywood Studios' Lights, Motors, Action! stunt show. I shopped til I dropped on International Drive. I LOVED IT!!! And I can't wait to go back.
Hm. Through Pesach-time, I became certified to teach yoga. I spent four straight weeks living at an Ashram in the Catskills, called the Sivananda Yoga Ranch. I went for a 200-hour level yoga teacher certification, which was a goal I had had for several years. I had long figured, "I have been avidly practicing yoga for a long time, I like to teach people, and if I become certified then I can get paid for it." It sounded practical--both spiritually and financially. I chose the least-expensive program I could find, and this one was cheaper than even the non-residential programs in New York City. Long story long, I lived and breathed the yogic lifestyle for 28 days. I awoke to the sound of the gong at 5:30 A.M. I brushed my teeth, maybe showered, and went to morning Satsang -- sitting meditation, chanting, and a teaching. I sat on a low cushion, facing an altar full of idols. Each day I faced the shrine to Krishna, Ganesha, Rama, Guru Sivananda, Swami Vishnu-Devananda, and even a framed picture of Jesus's face. (In case you don't know, I'm a Jew, and worshipping idols is a pretty central 'no-no' in the Jewish framework. I was not raised observant [reform], but I still knew about this. Plus, I've taken more stock in Jewish religion as I've gotten older.) Long story longer, I'd like to cite my Initiation Ritual as the specific answer to this question, asking for a "significant experience." And I'll do it without editing what I've written so far. Thanks for bearing with my stream of consciousness. The first full day of our Teacher Training program, my 14-person cohort passed through a decades-old yoga-school tradition based on millenia-old Indian traditions. We entered the small, round temple space. We sat on our cushions, facing the altar, full of idols. We sat in silence for twenty minutes. Srinivasan, a skyscraper of a man, broke the silence with his deep, gospel, soothing "om namo narayanaya," and we joined him for several more repetitions of the phrase. The leader of our program stood and explained the order of our initiation ritual: 1) kneel before the swamis (teachers, dressed in orange) and get a handful of flowers; 2) kneel before the altar and throw the flowers at Lord Krishna's feet; 3) prostrate yourself before the idols; 4) kneel before Srinivasan (the headmaster) to receive uniforms and training manuals. All this he told us quite matter-of-factly, in an accent that sounded so familiar to me. What was that accent? My next five minutes were fraught with panic. Would I follow the directions and prostrate before the idols? Or would I assert my own spiritual belief rather than assimilate to my new environment? I knew that the idols represented something deeper. I knew enough about the Hindu mythology to know that there is a Oneness that is merely understood by humans as human forms, because we could not otherwise comprehend or relate to our Spiritual Source. And yet, I felt proud of my own ancestral history, of our (Jews') constant resiliance to the ever-changing cultures around us. And our constant adaptation to those cultures, too. Sometimes for survival, sometimes for evolution. Sometimes for preservation, sometimes for change. So what would I do? Would I bow before the altar, thrust in to this ceremony without warning? Or would I simply kneel and gaze at the statues, pondering their un-godliness like a good Jew. Or would I turn and say "no, never will I bow, or even worship in the same room as an idol!" like a real Good Jew. (I hope you read my cynicism here.) With my straight-up Jewish Guilt gnawing on my mind, I eventually snuck around the side and approached one of the swamis between initiates. "I don't feel comfortable with a full prostration," I told him. He paused, and smiled, and quietly consulted the other swami beside him, then turned to me. "Can you show your respect in some other way?" he asked. "Yes," I told him. And it was true. I knelt before the altar. I tossed flowers at Krishna's feet. I brought my hands to my heart. I bowed my head, keeping my gaze forward, not down. This was where I chose to tread the line, when put on the spot. For someone generally un-invested in ritual, the experience is easy to shrug off. But that moment became deeply imbued with meaning for me. I found myself--despite my guilt, anxiety, and worry, or perhaps *through* them--in a delicate balance, on the one hand preserving Judaism's traditional obstinance, and on the other hand assimilating to the local culture. (All this after driving through the Catskills, past Yiddish-speaking summer towns and camps all the way up to the Ashram gate.) If I could do it again, I would not change my actions in the ceremony. What I would change is my repetitive, cyclical thinking about "what is the right thing to do?" My intuition counts for more than I credit it, lately, and it's time I gave it the attention it deserves. I am relieved that that moment has passed; relieved that the whole Ashram month has passed. I don't expect to ever reach a simple relationship with the Divine. I try to see Him everywhere, but sometimes She just doesn't seem to show up. That's when it's time to look under a rock. Literally. There's amazing stuff under rocks. But I digress.... If there's one simple take-away here, it's this: Putting ourselves in a new/strange/foreign setting will unavoidably show us something new about ourSelves. If you want to deepen your relationship with your Self, get out of your comfort zone. Whether you go all the way out, or just one little step, you're bound to find some angle of new understanding. These are opportunities to be grateful for.
I am not sure how, but somehow I 'broke up' with my best friend. She had been really my only social contact for a couple of years while I was going through a brutal battle in court to gain custody of my only grandson. (I'm still in court...geez!) Anyway, not sure 'how' it happened, but it has caused a major shift in my life, thinking, behavior...all for the better. The time I spent with this friend was mostly spent in complaining and anger, reliving the experience of loss and not being judged good enough...all things that are not good to dwell in. And were not good for me, those three years now feel like a wasteland. When I broke away from this friend, I was embracing life and wanting to rejoin it. I have been on a path of discovery since that time. I have been meditating and reading and living in the joy of life! Instead of cursing that my grandson is not living here, I am focusing on being grateful that he is here every week and we have a strong and loving bond. I have absolutely been a huge source of love and comfort in his life and that will only grow. He has been a blessing for me, too. I am still on this path, but I feel good and alive. So the pain of loss seemed to have brought a new aliveness. And the friend? We have a tentative friendship now. I don't see her as often, we invariably end up back in the same rut of pain, but I still see her at times as I don't want to just end it. I am hoping my changes will change the way we relate..we'll see.
My father came to stay for a brief visit, but developed a nasty virus that developed into pneumonia. He is still with a nearly 2 months later. Caring for my father, once a pillar of strength, has been challenging. As I am still in the midst of his illness, I don't think I am in a position to really reflect on it. But he did make a comment the other day that gave me pause. As he watched yawn and return to grading papers, he said, "you are working too hard." I replied that it is the nature of my job and I didn't know how to spend less time doing it. He simply said, "I know ALL about it. I worked 70 hours a week for too many years. You are working too hard."
Nothing truly significant has happened. I find this to be unfortunate. Hopefully, this will inspire me to "make" something significant happen, or to branch out and make room for something significant to happen.
was in auto accident that totaled my car. It made me stop and consider being more spiritual as i was spared. Taught me balance and context for life.
This is a big one...I got engaged! I feel incredibly happy and blessed to have found such a wonderful woman to share my life with--and that we live in a time and place where we can be married legally and Jewishly as two women.
I had an affair. It nearly destroyed my marriage, although I don't regret a single moment of it. It caused me to feel tremendous fear, unbearable loss, and profound love.
Jan - Mar Performance review where my dept. head and admin were concerned that I was being too hard on Students. I am relieved, grateful and inspired to have walked through it and grown as a teacher and as a better person
My father in law passed away. I don't know if we can ever say we are grateful for the loss of a loved one. But there was so much love that I and his family were able to express to each other during and after this significant event and we all felt a little of the power of being broken-open and vulnerable.
I made the decision to leave my husband. Right at the moment I feel conflicted, sad, unsure of myself and downright confused. Although I felt it was the right decision, we have been talking a lot recently and I miss him so much. He is still doing the thing that made me leave him though, and shows no inclination to change. I can't make up my mind what is more important: being loved and cherished or being financially secure...
My mother died last Thanksgiving weekend. At first I was grateful & relieved. She was 86 years old with advanced dementia. I thought she had a pretty good run at life and was on to her next great adventure. Nine months later, I am saddened by her passing and am coming to terms with missing her.
Over the last year, I struggled to force a relationship to become something that it simply wasn't. I tried to find a way to happiness, but only viewed that happening as a unit with him. I fought very hard to be content with someone who neglected me at every stage of the relationship. Over the course of the two years we were together, I can't really remember more than a few moments of happiness, like little islands in the sea of discontent between us. Now, coming out of the relationship, I feel strongly that my ability to connect with other people was very deeply hurt. My ability to trust others, already so low, is lower still. I am struggling to keep my head above water. I have gone on many dates, trying to find someone who will spark something inside of me. I recognize this as a distraction from the real work that should be done. I am alone for the first time in awhile. It's scary. I'm resentful, I guess, but mostly sad. I am unable to come to forgiveness in time for Rosh Hashanah, though I wish that I could find inner peace faster. Always faster.
I got married and started a new job. I'm grateful to have married my best friend and also grateful that the stress of planning a wedding is done! I'm relieved to have started a new job, which has energized and inspired me.
I traveled to Spain for ten days with my wife, to see Granada and Seville and Madrid. It was spectacular and delightful. In those parts of Spain, what is most striking is the legacy of the Moors: the stunning art and architecture, and the hints of what was sometimes (clearly not always!) a tolerant society in which Jews and Moslems and Christians managed to thrive together. I'm sure that is unfairly kind to the rulers of the time, but what western/Christian civilization managed after taking over was painfully barbaric. I suppose what matters is not whether anyone actually behaved decently eight hundred years ago, but rather how we can go about behaving decently today. Mostly I felt undeservedly blessed to be able to take such a trip, and to be able to share it with my undeserved blessing of a spouse.
A significant experience was the arrest of my ex-husband. I learned some upsetting things about the circumstances and have a new view of who I can and can't trust. I also have a renewed faith in karma.
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. 'Pressure of Thought' Sid: He is thinking oh shit oh shit oh shit. What the fuck is she doing now? “Do you see what I have had to put up with for three years?” No, he did not say that out loud. But he said it all the same. Maybe he was talking to God. Maybe he was talking to himself. He thinks that maybe they are the same thing. Anne: The air pressed in on her with sweaty palms as she dropped into the bay. She could feel its grip, indentations in her skin where the air grabbed at her. Her eyeballs felt too large in her head. The hairs on her arms and legs were alert to the electric currents that filled the dense violet air. The storm was yet to rage outside, still she could feel it charging through her veins. Her thoughts were pouring down her forehead like sweat. She needed to be in the water. The water, warm like blood, salty like blood, was her salvation. It held her like a child. She cried. She swam. She needed this. She needed to be out there. Away from here. Away from boring lives and boring people. She needed to be alive and out of bed and swimming. The water felt like home. Sid: Oh shit. Her purse and espadrilles were lying on the sand. He was far down the beach, but he could see her angular, slightly hunched form approach the water, long fingers clutching her black dress. Her dress floated around her as she waded into the welcoming waves. Her head was small, smaller than he could imagine. Bobbing, it got smaller. He had to squint and he started to lope along the shore. He thought, “Okay: cocaine does not make you run any faster.” He could not see her head anymore. The bay was dark blue in the dimming light. She had disappeared. There was nothing but blue. His heart was racing. Maybe from coke, maybe from fear. Who knows? Copyright Harriet Garfinkle 2012
I decided to go back to work. I was afraid to originally because of the way I lost my last job, but I got everything straightened out and started applying for jobs. I sent out 8 applications, got 5 responses, went on 3 interviews, only 1 of which "clicked," and that's the job I took. I'm grateful to have a job in this economy. I went back to school to become a nurse b ecause I thought I'd never have to worry about finding a job with a nursing degree, but that's no longer true, between the shitty economy and health care "reform." (Don't get me started) Anyway, I am grateful to have a job, happy that I get along well with my coworkers, satisfied that I have a boss who is a perfect balance between hands-on micromanaging and treating me like an intelligent adult, and I feel that I am making a bottom line contribution to my employer's bottom line, and that I am in at the beginning of a major new program for my employer that will make us the lead team as this program spreads gthroughougt the entire country. I just hate working. It was nice not havaing to get up, get dressed and go to work every morning. But the money's good, the job is rewarding, and I'm too young to retire. My other significant exzperience, going back to graduate school, hasn'tg happened yet, and I'm being kind of passive aggressive abougt it. But I'm not going to let myself get stuck in coulda woulda shoulda. I will be half way through my master's by this time next year, God willing.
I started dating again for the first time since the end of my last marriage. It was scary, and difficult at first, and I was never good at it, but ultimately, it was a very healthy and necessary thing to do, and I am happier for it. I dated one guy for about six months, and though it did not really work out, I was able to walk away from that relationship feeling good about what had transpired and ready for a new experience.
There are two experiences that trump everything else for me right now: I've continued to be in love with someone I love making a life with, and I'm still recovering from the bone marrow transplant I had 16 months ago. About the transplant and recovery - I am grateful, and relieved, and resentful, and inspired. I'm also angry, and hopeful, and frustrated, and scared, and committed, and thankful, and confused, and tired, and surrounded by people who love and care for me, and abandoned by people I thought were friends . . . I am so many things. About being in love - I'm in love. Our time for giddy, feet-off-the-ground-in-love-ness was cut short by my AML diagnosis. We transitioned from giddy to committed seamlessly, and we've never looked back, and never questioned that this is it, this is forever. And yet, we lost something, too. We lost that time when everything is magical, we lost getting to know each other in each other's spaces - and instead got to know each other in my hospital room. Every day we are aware how lucky we are, and many days we are also aware that our luck is also tinged with a loss. And yet, we are so very lucky. We love each other, we like each other, and we know without a doubt that nothing - nothing - in the world is stronger than we are. I don't think 5773 will be the year, but I do look forward to the year when my recovery can take a back seat in this story.
When my husband encouraged me to face the facts that my job wasn't making me happy and allowing us the life I thought it would, I was relieved to know that I didn't have to stay in the situation and that he could see/validated how unhappy, anxious and stressed I was and that he cared enough to step up and be willing to add to the financial support of our family, so I could have that alleviated.
Last year a friend had a almost fatal car accident. She was dying for a month and did recuperate in 8 months. She is not the same person but there is a lot of her in the new one. Her family felt a part. Her best friend consoled her husband better than well and her four children spinned through adolescence and school while a facçade of normality were been played. I couldn't sleep for a long while when she told us they were getting divorced. My husband felt in a deep sorrow for their family and for a while we were feeling ashame of public holding hands! We as couple talked a lot about it but it took a long time to get back to some normality. Is just as if it is a big shadow over both of us. I love my husband and I am loved by him. I guess I needed to write so much to be able to find out what is the most important feeling out of this experience, and I am sorry to say that it is worry. I don't think I grew an edifying feeling out of this. I am sad and afraid. I like both of them equally and feel that the evolution of this divorce will hurt us all.
I became homeless twice. The first time, when I moved to Colorado Springs, the second time because of the Waldo Canyon Fires in Colorado and Manitou Springs.
This year I lost the trust of a friend who really needed it. I have a hard time being grateful for the fact that it's happened but I definitely learned from my mistake and for the first time in my life experience what serious guilt feels like. I'm inspired to be the best friend I can be, and beyond that the best person I can be to everyone but I think there is always a part of me that resents myself for the decision I made and the consequences I may never completely live down.
I realized that there are a few things I would like to be doing, but am not doing. I couldn't say for sure why I just don't do them. Fear of the unknown? Fear of rejection? Laziness? Complacency? Whatever answers I come up with, I realize they are not good enough. I'm going to start writing and stop making excuses. I am going to start becoming more independent and stop being afraid. Fear and complacency are toxic and have kept me from becoming who I was meant to be. In the end, I know now I will have nobody to blame but myself.
Dad died. It took me by surprise though I knew it was coming sensed it wanted his suffering to end. I feel gobsmacked. Adrift. Very very sad. I want to now do something grand life changing soon now last week.
A significant experience that has happened this past year was going to Poland and Israel for march of the living.It gave me so much hope and so much pride to be jewish. I think it inspired me to be a better person and to really take every moment as it comes. Everything happens for a reason and you have to make sence of it you know? like life is so much more than the money or the things. we just need love and understanding. cause thats what mmakes the world go around.
I got married! It was the best day of my life and I'm still buzzing from the experience. Still stupidly in love with my wonderful new husband nearly 11 years after we first met and looking forward to a long, happy and blessed life together.
I'm just coming off the high of going to Burning Man, and it has affected me profoundly, but is the culmination of a summer of self-actualization and lots and lots of activity. I am an educator. I am a game designer. I am establishing a summer camp and a program for youth and adults to self-actualize. I am a successful activator of my own life. I am inspired to continue in that journey.
My diagnosis with Type II Diabetes. I am a mixture of emotions about this. I knew it was coming. I've known since I was 16 and standing in my Dad's hospital room when he was first dealing with it. When I was diagnosed in February 2012 I was very mad at myself. Incredibly mad, probably the maddest I've ever been with myself. Now, 6 months later, I'm more gentle with myself. My doctor told me it would be a blessing. And, it has been. I'm healthier than I have been in a long time. I'm much more aware of my food intake. I exercise on a regular basis. I've lost weight. Plus, I've gained perspective on what it means to grow older. I want to dance at my kid's wedding. I want to live in Ireland when my husband & I retire. I want to LIVE a long long time. I hope a year from now I've come out of the "Diabetes Closet" and told the world of my diagnosis. But for now, I'm still working on that part.
I had Jaw surgery in June. I'm grateful that it happened, and, looking back, I think I had it done the best time possible. Yes it made my summer a lot 'shorter' but I still had a wonderful time and my friends and family were there for me and took care of me my whole 4 weeks in bed.
I separated from my husband of twenty years. I was both saddened and relieved. It was like having an infected tooth removed. You kind of miss the tooth, but are glad the pain is finally gone.
One thing that has really stuck with me was the day I finally quit my shitty job. I was working at a hell-hole of a restaurant/bar/club (one of those "fancy, one of a kind" pieces of shit) as a server/barback/delivery-boy/cook/host/kitchen manager/whatever-the-hell-else-my-manager's-needed. Quitting this job was like quitting a bad habit. I had already been back to them a second time, after months away from the horrible place of dingy, pink lighting. The management had ways of bribing you back. I was underpaid, constantly being stolen from (by my alcoholic bosses), being manipulated into working jobs I was not comfortable or qualified for, sexually and physically harassed, and being made into a fool for customer and owner entertainment. It was a shitty place to be. I hated every minute I was there and frequently found myself stealing away to my personal oasis (a tiny broom closet) to call my boyfriend and rage. With no other job to turn to, even after placing application after application, I strode up to work one day, collected my measly check (for $35.67) and got into my car. I didn't say a word. That's the last time I set foot into that place. No one called. No one asked. No one cared. It was really scary, quitting this job when I had no other job options available. But after ten months of torture, enough was enough. I stood up and did something that was terrifying for a number of reasons. In the end, I landed a wonderful job that provides a generous number of benefits and hours. I make almost twice as much as I made at my last job. It's peaceful and consistent. I'm proud of myself.
I have a rare medical condition that can be serious. I am blessed to have a "mild" case This condition (short name NF1) in addition to physical issues causes "subtle" learning disabilites. In my case I was anywhere from the super star to not making it. In college after some testing I learned about the learning issues for the first time even before I knew of the condition when my foreign language requirement was "waived due to mental disabilty" This partially explained why as a child I could never learn Hebrew. In June I read a portion of the Torah without vowels to raise awareness of the disease. Though one can't directly use Torah to raise money friends donated in honor of my doing something difficult. I was proud f overcoming disabilites and moved by the support
A significant experience that has happened in the past year is my acceptance into and decision to do Teach for America. My entire life has changed. I am now in the South, doing a job I feel is a complete sell out of my soul in a profession, teaching, where I think that's completely unacceptable. But to pinpoint the most significant experience: it was my conversation with Noah. When I reread this I will know exactly which one. We were driving from the parking garage, me having successfully convinced him to leave and go back home. When I told him I was leaving a few nights before that; I had never seen someone have that look come into their eye. It was hurt and anger and disappointment all rolled into one. That conversation, I don't remember the actual words, but the feeling was one of not letting me go. Not letting me leave without looking in the mirror and facing it. I don't think he will ever know the impact he had on my entire life. I will never be the same, and it hinged 100%, completely and totally, on that conversation.
A greater realization of just how fearful I've been for a large portion of my life. I am grateful that since I've become more aware of this I can now take steps to change my perspective. I do not particularly regret the past, but do wonder sometimes what opportunities were lost. I am inspired by the many seemingly fearless individuals I've come to learn of who even in the latter years of their lives we're able to make a significant difference and contribution to the betterment of our species and planet. I believe I can learn how to live out my life in a state of Grace with appreciation for all I have and the Faith to find and fearlessly follow my Bliss to a fuller sense of fulfillment.
Ten months ago I was fired from a job I at best really didn't like and worst hated. At the time I was pissed because they screwed me over. I accepted responsibility for my own mistake but someone else did not accept responsibility for their's. However, it took less than two months to know that it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Because of that, I finally gained the courage to persue what I really wanted to do with my life. I am currently interning at a medical spa and in less than three months, I will be graduating from the esthetics program and registering to take the state board exam. This is a complete 180 for me career wise and I never would've done it if I had not received the necessary kick in the pants.
I ended my career after 30 years. I am grateful that I can move on and relieved to know that between retirement and Social Security (disability) I am able to get by financially. I am grateful to have a supportive family including an invitation from my sister to move cross the country and live in her barn. I am thankful and inspired at the wide open opportunities awaiting me on this new adventure in my life. I plan to work on things I have put off for so very many years. I plan to work on my creative self thru the arts. I plan to find something in the community (small or large) to work on for the betterment of others who are less fortunate than I. Thank you, thank you, thank you ever so much!
I transferred from a 2-year college to a 4-year university. I am grateful for this. I not only know I'm closer to my goal; I can feel it.
I decided to join a writing group, led by one of my children's favorite middle school teachers (who had gone on to teach at the college level). Needing to have something prepared each week for class forced me to sit down and write--at least for a few minutes--for the class which met for 2 months. What came up in my emotions and consequently out through my fingers was a hot spring of grieving, yearning, and remembrance, mostly associated with my mother's passing. This was significant because it gave me a vehicle I had not explored. Writing--and having my words positively received--is affirming and allows me to better connect my inner life to my community. I'm not at all sure where I'll go with this (2 other members of the group and I are meeting as we can, even though the class ended), but I am glad I decided to take the class and more glad that I've found a voice.
I finally decided to write the book I've been mulling over for the past 25 years. I'm feeling inspired that this may lead to a new career as I begin to transition out of my career of 35 years and look for new horizons.
I went through a rough patch, that I would have said was just a hard time, but changing medication and continued therapy made me realize it was a depression. Those worked, and I have learned perhaps the most important lesson one can learn about life - to realize that I am rich because through the depression I learned to be happy with what I have. And for me there could be no better lesson than that. I am extraordinarily grateful both for the lesson and all the beauty in my life. Email to 10Q: The shift has been remarkable [from last year. Then a]ll torn-up with frustration and anger, I have repaired the closest relationships, found a peace in living life now, knowing how fragile it is, that it can be gone in a second, and that I am truly blessed. Rich is the man who is happy with what he has. I am now quite rich. The rereading of my answers was amazing to see how much change I have gone through and all for the better. Thank you for this excellent product. --
A significant experience that has happened this past year is graduating from high school. I was not a big fan of my senior year of high school so when graduation came around I was so relieved. I am so happy and proud of myself for going through high school and I can't wait to see what college has in store for me!
I visited Israel. I didn't expect to connect to the land, and I didn't. But, I gained a new view on life. I no longer see people for who they are in the moment I meet them. I understand that they have a past, a history, a tale to tell the world. And, inversely, they have a future, a plan, a goal. Just like Israel. Israel has a past, a present, and a future. Everywhere we go and everyone we meet is a story. And I want to read them all
Our friend Mark died. My husband and I had known him since high school - more than 30 years of friendship. My husband and Mark were in the same Fantasy Football League for the last 25 years or so. I am so grateful to have known Mark, who always knew the right thing to say. His whole body moved when he laughed. He is the person I expect to think of the most this year, as we recite prayers about who shall live and who shall die. May Mark's memory ever be a blessing to all who knew him.
This March, I accepted a position as pastry cook at a restaurant called Terzo Piano in the Art Institute of Chicago. Its a very prestigious restaurant and I was going to be embarking on new territory in my professional experience. Before this I had only worked at small bakeries doing homestyle baking/production. This is my first job where I actually plate desserts for service. This job have made me much more confident in my capabilities as a real pastry chef. It has challenged me to work faster, be more creative, and be more independant. I am extremely grateful to have been given this opportunity at such a young age and with such little experience in the actual restaurant industry. I am definitely relieved. When I accepted this position I was worried that I was going to get stuck working as an over experienced baker my whole life. This job showed me that I wont be. I think there are times when we all wish our job was easier or less exhausting but I certainly don't resent taking this job. I am definitely inspired. I have started thinking up flavor combinations and plating concepts that I never would have before. Im learning and growing as a chef and as a person. They also showed faith in me as a savory cook, even though I have no schooling or training in savory. Chef Meg let me train on the pasta station and has scheduled me to work that stationed relatively consistently since then. I am so grateful and excited that they have entrusted me with this huge responsibility.
Things keep changing at work, decisions get made and then changed or put off. It is stressful and I feel like the ball in a pinball must feel.
I'm pregnant! I'm grateful, nervous, excited and scared to death. We are thrilled to be starting a family but knowing life will be drastically changing forever is also terrifying.
I didn't get the job, that I was promised! How did it affect me? Well, I realized that first of all, everything happens for a reason. Secondly, I learned that to be resentful is a waste of time. It's like an anchor holding you in one place. The best way to get over things like this is to do my best and see what happens next. G-d has a plan for me. Although I don't know what that is, I have to have faith that it's all going to work out for the best. Perhaps, not getting the job was a blessing in disguise!
This year my ex died of cancer at age 41. Although I no longer shared a life with him, we remained friends and his loss has left a great hole. It sounds cliche, but it's also profoundly true: you never know how much time you have left. It's so important to spend the time doing things and being with people who make you happy. Because you really don't have all the time in the world.
Mom broke her hip. It made me so scared she's going to die soon and I don't want that to happen. Ever. At all.
Holy Shit!!!! Another year, another rollercoaster. I could talk all night about significant experiences in the past year. It's September now so thinking back............ M and I finished finally in November. She's spent the intervening time ignoring and avoiding me. Am I so bad? I was devestated to be fair. But 10 months down the line and proof that you can get over someone. I was pretty low after she dumped me and a few months of heavy drinking was not pleasant, although it was good to get the tears and emotions out I suspect. Next up was the advent of online dating. POF actually. Met Hazel early on and had some wild sexual experiences with her. It was a buzz to have a bit of female interest and helped me greatly. Next up was Julie who I really liked. Saw her for the best part of 6 months and it was only a week ago that I finished with her. It still pains me but I could not be in a relationship with a woman who has so many close male friends. I'm sure I'm reasonable on this front (if not a bit on the possessive side) but she was just on the extreme opposite position to me. I never got the impression that she was really into me. I guess I'll never know now. Though it currently pains me, I must not contact her again. She was beautiful and fit as, but the distance and anxieties I felt with her are better off behind me. be strong Mike!!!!!! I'm now divorced and seeing the kids half the time and just about to transfer Merllyn into my name. Managing financially, although I'll have to keep the money in check. Grateful? Gutted to lose M. Delighted to meet Hazel, although I could never see her as a partner. Grateful to meet Julie, although with hindsight, something dodgy was going on there. I was probably used to some end. I'll survive though!!!!! Resentful. Probably resent Julies motives, Although I don;t know what they were, I suspect I was used and not loved. Inspired? Life is tough and lonely at times. I really do need to meet someone and fall head over heels in love again. THis dating website is good for a quick win but the people you meet are being chatted up left right and centre as you speak to them. Probably not good for me. Inspired???? Probably need to be inspired to live a solo life for a while and enjoy my time with the kids rather than desperately trying to get myself married off again. So looking for inspiration but not there yet.
Well, the most recent significant event that I can think of is moving back to Las Vegas. I was due for a change of environment and work allowed me to do it. I feel semi inspired. I'm looking forward to making new friends and trying new things.
Funny the changes my life has experienced the last two years. In september 2010, I was starting a relationship with a man who was the reason why I broke up with someone. One year ago, I was getting used to being the mother of a 4-month old baby born from the love we had for each other. Now I am a single mother. It's been a month and a half since we broke up. He cheated on me with his other son's mother. He slept with her four times before the situation was escaping so much from his hands that he had to tell me. How did it affect me? haha.. Am I changed? haha.. I feel so totally different. I thought he loved me, and he and my son were everything to me. I wanted to live with him and share my entire life with him. And he simply said he did not love me anymore. Stupid he!! I feel used and abused. I have been trying very hard to keep moving forward, being happy with what I've got and looking for some new dreams. I feel devastated. I hate him. All the love I felt for him became hatred now. Sometimes I just want to fall asleep to never wake up again. I was so much in love with him. And the worst part of it all is that I cannot simply erase him from my life because we have a son. I learn from my mistakes. And I just wish he wants to come back with me one day so I can have the pleasure of saying a definite and hurtful no. Before this, I never thought I could hate someone. I did hate things, like hunger and injustice. I had never hated a person before. Now I do, and with all my might. I am just doing my best for my son and his happiness. I don`t want to care about his father anymore. Am I grateful? Yes, because it's like now I can really see who he was.. and not who he made me think he was. I don't know what else to say. I'll just leave it there.
I went to South Africa and lived there with different families. It made me so grateful for everything that I have and it really made me rethink my values. It taught me to be more independent and more understanding of others amongst many other things. It also gave me a career goal. It was by far the best experience of my life thus far.
I got into the ARK Challenge! It allowed me to quit my job and go all-in on a project I have been developing for over 2 years. Yes, I am grateful and inspired.
A significant experience was my trip back to Wisconsin. One piece was being able to process in with the other teachers at the graduation Mass, even though I no longer worked there. The highlight of that was hearing that I was still Jacob's favorite teacher. That still touches me!
I realized that I was mad about a friend of mine. I have wondered if it were truly that for him, if it was another one of my phases and I hope it's not. I've come to terms with us not happening for whatever period of time since he is with someone right now and they are happy together which is what makes me at peace with it. I realize that I respected us friends first and I don't mind that I made that decision. I am now relieved because I ran into him and asked him how he was doing and he said that he was happy. That was what let me go of the romanticized idea of us. If we end up together at some point in life, that's beyond amazing but, apart from that, life goes on.
My husband and I renewed our relationship. We realized just how wrong we were doing things before, and we fixed it. We could have let it destroy us or taken an out and walked away but we fought for eachother. I am grateful for the changes we made and it is because of them that we are more in love than ever before.
I went to my first gaming convention in twenty years. I felt immensely nervous, and stressed and fretted in the weeks leading up to it, but I felt welcomed & had fun. I'm proud to have been one of the only women participating in the section of the con I was in, and was inspired to go to several more conventions over the course of the summer.
i saw my husband of 25 years cry for the second time. his father was in the hospital with severe breathing problems, and the doctors were not hopeful for a recovery. my father-in-law started writing last minute instructions to amend his formal will, and it suddenly hit my husband that his dad wouldn't be around much longer. i was gently reminded that my husband was still vulnerable to great emotional family situations, and amazed that his dad is still with us after a gradual 6-month rebound.
This was an incredibly good year for our family. Our daughter married Max. I am very grateful. I am grateful that she is recovering, grateful that she found a good partner, grateful that we had a wonderful and joyous wedding and that almost the entire extended family was able to be together for Shabbat and for the ceremony. This year we also travelled together to Costa Rica which was an incredible adventure. I am very grateful to my dad for his life and for his gift that he left behind which helped me take the family on a vacation, finance a wedding and give gifts to Nomi and Yael to help them out.
My mother, who is 72, nearly died on Christmas Eve 2011. She was in intensive care for almost a week following a massive infection. I would like to think that experience made me stop and appreciate her all the more, that it made me change the way I communicate with her, that it has given me more patience with her or made me slower to anger. Sadly, though, we communicate the same now as we did before her health scare: she winds me up and I react with impatience or condescension. I love her and am grateful she is still with us, my children have a loving relationship with her too. Why are our patterns the same?
My boyfriend graduating from Sandhurst. It was a really tough year for both of us but we did it. I am so pleased, it has made us stronger than ever and I feel so much closer to him. It was so hard at the time but it was worth it.
Yes, I have two experiences. #1 is critical and #2 is a recent struggle. 1. Merlin died in March. I still miss him so much, I still cry about him and it's been almost 6 months. I felt depressed and lonely after he went and still feel that way, sometimes to the point I don't even want to get up in the morning or open the blinds or go outside at all. Part of me says I SHOULD feel grateful for the time I had with him, and what I mostly feel about it is anger that I couldn't have more. At some level I'm relieved he was able to leave the way he did, peacefully, fading quickly over the course of a day. At another level I feel guilty because I feel relieved about not having to be so tightly tied to caring for him. I couldn't just pick up and go the way I can now; I feel guilty sometimes when I just pick up and go. I feel guilty because I realize how much extra money I can save because I'm no longer caring for an aged and special needs dog. I feel guilty about the time I gave him in the last few months. It had become less. I think I started to distance myself because I knew the time for him to go was getting closer and I could fool myself a little bit into thinking it would hurt less if I did that. I second guess myself about the day he died. Should we have ended his life at the vet's office and not taken him home the way we did and waited for the vet to come to my home? Everyone keeps asking when I'll get another dog. In general people are surprised that I don't have a dog yet and they tend to assume it's because I still feel loyal to Merlin. I don't know when or if I will have another dog. The neighbors say "It just doesn't look right to see you walking without a dog." When I dog sit they say "That looks better." I resent everyone's good intentions and their questions about this. I've had enough of the comments and questions. Am I inspired? I'll have to think about it. Maybe inspired never to have a dog again because it hurts too much when they go. But that's not a real inspiration. 2. I started a new job on 8/1/12. What was I thinking? I ask that less now. It's a far different way of thinking and I'm still not sure I like moving from therapist to coordinator. The people part is the best; I'm not sure I'll like the other parts. My relationships changed - former peers are now my supervisees. In some ways moving to this position has helped my confidence. In others, not, because I feel so inept and like I'll never learn all the non-people parts of the job. I'm grateful to feel "recognized" and that I'm viewed as capable. It presents some evidence that challenges my beliefs about myself. I feel relieved to be out of regular client contact yet resent how much I miss quality long term therapeutic relationships with people. Inspired? Hmm. This doesn't seem as major to me as #1. I want to include it because the new job has been so stressful and left me feeling both more confident and more inept.
I packed up my stuff and moved across three states, to pastor a congregation. It feels like home, sometimes, and other times still feels foreign. It's mind-blowingly beautiful, and breaks my heart at least once a week. Goodness, am I grateful, relieved, resentful, inspired? Yes, that and more. I'm grateful that this meeting took a chance on me, but still wondering what I'm missing back home. I'm relieved at how well it's going so far, and fearful of what the first big bump will look like. I'm resentful of people I care for, because I provide a support for them that I don't have for myself, and I'm blessed by the vulnerability of people who let me care for them. I'm inspired by preaching, by visiting people, by shared meals and committee work and games with the kids, but sucked dry by it at the same time. I haven't settled. Most of my boxes are unpacked, but I have no rhythm. Everything feels frantic, even moreso than my usual style. I can't imagine, knowing what I know now, choosing to stay back home instead. Some days, though, I wish I had. More than that, I wish I knew if this new place will ever feel like home, as opposed to an extended missions trip.
I feel like this year has had many significant experiences that have culminated into the way I'm feeling right now. The two most significant to me are the opportunity I had to travel to Madagascar and the separation/divorce from my best friend. These events were happening somewhat simultaneously so their synergistic impact on me must be considered. The trip to Madagascar was an eye opening experience. It's been hard to describe when people ask about it. I don't want to sound negative, but apart from the friendliness of the people and the natural beauty of this lost world, the path of human development on that island is likely to contribute to ecological collapse. This thought was rarely out of my mind while on the trip. However there are groups like Engineers Without Borders, MBP, trying to improve living conditions for humans while reducing environmental impact. I am both grateful and inspired by this experience. Grateful for what I learned about 'international development' efforts, the chance to see the other side of the world, and the many new friendships that I formed on the trip. Going into the trip my wife and I had been living apart for the last 5 months, I still wasn't quite certain I wanted the divorce to happen. However during the trip, I had the time to evaluate many things, and was forced to consider many new ideas during such isolation from technology and with the assistance of Krishnamurti. My situation with her now now could be characterized as better than I've felt about it since we left San Francisco. Having some space between us and time for both of us to explore other relationships has been mutually beneficial. I am relieved and grateful for this experience. She is a beautiful soul and wants to share her beauty with the world, I want that for her. I also want to share my love with other beautiful souls in this world and had a wonderful encounter with one over these last 3 weeks of summer. She left today to go live in San Francisco. The mood was melancholy but both of us said our goodbyes with smiles and appreciation for each other and what possibilities the future may hold. :-) I will certainly see her again and hope that she is still a person in my life when I am reading this answer next year.
I live with a woman I love, and no one else. This, for me is a first, since my first wife had three children when we were married. Recently, Nancy's two children went off to college, making us "empty nesters". It is a wonderful experience, and I'm loving it!
This year, we've been doing work finding my future. I found a doctoral program, but compromised on one close to home, despite better fits elsewhere, because I want to stay in the area I love. I a, glad to stay close to my family, and I learned that being home is very important.
I became president of out temple and felt scared, happy and humbled. I learned that I could do things that I did not think I could.
Restored my relationship with my mom and have finally begun the process of moving her out here. I write her at least once a week and try to call 2-3 times a week. I hate that Parkinson's and bipolar have taken so much away from her. Tremendous relief. Guilt, shame and despair were eating away at me because of this.
I moved halfway across the country to go to university. I didn't come with any of my friends. And sure, I've got a second-cousin-once-removed and her children (my third cousins) here but they're not my close family. I think it's made me more independent, I've had to step outside of my comfort zone, put myself out there. But I love it! I'm taking a second year language course because I was too advanced for the first year class. I'm learning Arabic, taking public transportation to one of my off-campus classes...playing beach volleyball, basketball, watching people get drunk...IT'S AWESOME!
Last year I realised people aren't always who they say they are. Friends are not always your friends and people can act superior to you. I started to resent people that pushed me to be more religious or more observant. I realised that I had no control over anything in my life and I started to withdraw from all the people I thought were my friends. The defining moment in my year came when I stood up for myself and started to taking control. I felt so calm because I was finally being honest and true to myself.
My husband and I picked up an elderly woman who was lost and confused on a major highway in the Bronx. Althought we could not communicate due to language barriers, she gave us her address and we were able to safely deliver her to her home. I felt relieved and also inspired.
MARCH OF THE LIVING! It has affected my entire life and how i view things. Genocide, hate, luck; its inspired me to want to change the world. To help the world. TO EDUCATE on the holocaust. It has made me so much more proud to be jewish and it has made me more jewish. I met so many amazing people, survivors, and gained so many friends. Gained teachers. Gained resources. Gained knowledge and hope and I cannot even BEGIN to describe how amazing it was. Every human being should experience the march, jewish or not, to understand hate and what it can do to people and WHY we should stop it. WHAT we are stopping. And HOW to prevent it; with kindness, respect, and acceptance.
There have been a couple: 1) being assigned full time to an outlying office. It affected me by me now feeling isolated from the agency team; having to watch my morale to keep it up so I don't fall down the same hole some of the other people in that office are in. I don't feel resentful since I know it was the only reasonable choice. I guess I feel like I am in a quandary. The 2nd item is the benefit. 2) we found a place right up the hill from where I now work full time where there is live country music and dancing on Fridays and Saturdays from 6-9. We hadn't been dancing much at all since my hip surgery 4 years ago. We're now dancing at this place 1-2X weekly or to instructional DVDs or at the "ballroom" near where we go to get out of town. It affected me by bringing me joy and a closer relationship with my husband. I am grateful for the wonderful musicians, inspired by watching people getting better dancing (us included) and energized by laughing and moving to good music.
My daughter got married. It was something both she and I longed for although she married a non jew. This was something I never would have predicted. And yet, the wedding itself was magical, the marriage is wonderful and my future grandchildren will be raised jewish and, by jewish law, are jewish. For all of this, I am grateful.
I came to college! It's been a huge change. I've been pulled away from the things I find comforting--family, friends, places, and ROUTINES. It's very hard to plan my day when I'm not sure how long it's going to take me to shower or get my hair done, etc. I used to know down to the minute how the process was going. Now, not so much, and that's been hard to deal with. I've got this tension about me right now with work to do, not wanting to do it, a new iphone (as of yesterday!) and a macbook pro. I've got a lot going on and it's tough to keep track of and a little scary wondering if I'll be able to manage it all. I'm very happy to be here. I'm grateful to have made a relatively smooth transition. There are times, like tonight, I can't wait to go home. I want my mom's cooking and my own room and not worrying about who is in the suite and if my stuff is safe. Boston is becoming my home, but it's still an adjustment. I'll have to revise this answer later on, it's quite choppy. I'm not liking it. It's not very reflective. But maybe that's a representation of my state of mind at the moment. Who knows. After several days of reflection, I'm contributing more to my previous answer. I went home for last night and part of today and it helped remind me that college really is my new home. I love that new experiences are constantly awaiting me. Sometimes I miss the feeling that I had during my senior year of high school that I'd uncovered all the secrets and answered all the questions I'd had when I began that experience. That feeling became especially acute/even stronger once I'd put down a deposit at Emerson. All the hard work had paid off and I was accepted to and studying at my dream school; but now I'm at Emerson, and the story's just begun. I like being independent. I like the feeling that I can talk to random people and act on a whim without my parents there to witness it; for good your bad. I like the lack of commentary on my life. I love the lack of judgement. And I feel a lot of times like, so what if these silent people in my history class know me as the girl who always answers? I get the A. I also like feeling as if I'm taking control of my future. I can compare my study habits and skills to those of my peers and I realize that I do fit in here. Maybe I'm not gay or lesbian or hipster, but I'm me. I'm professional. I'm adorable. I'm sweet. I'm witty. I get more red in the face than green. And that's perfectly acceptable. In fact, that's worth of celebration.
Seven months ago I left my friends, family, career, boyfriend, cat - everything - to move 3000 miles away where I knew not a soul because I wanted to take on an apprenticeship in organic small scale sustainable agriculture. It was the best thing I have done in my entire life. I learned more in seven months than I did in the eight years of college I went to to earn three degrees. Being an organic small scale farmer makes you honest and compassionate. It's like stepping into a mirror. I will never be the same and I will never look back. My heart is full and every day I am inspired by the natural world around me.
It has been a long year. The one thing that is significant is that I found out that the Occupy Movement is not the salvation of the Nation. It may be the future but inequity and injustice will continue. This time it will be directed at poor, ill, white men who are used as the scapegoat of the society. This is not new. This is the way the nation has been since industrialization. It is the way it was described in "The Jungle." It still is the way of the upper classes. The activist will not address this. They want it to be perpetuated. I don't like this. Nothing will change.
A significant experience that happened to me in this past year would have to be a compilation of things. I suppose you could call it the "snowball from a shitstorm"... It began with a manic episode. I was diagnosed a few years ago and since then, it has been one hell of a ride. My depressed states were always pretty easy to understand and to control, as I have been "clinically depressed" since about age 12. But being manic was a whole new kind of beast. Medication worked for a while but there never seemed to be any sort of remedy except to just ride it out and hope the collateral damage wouldn't be too detrimental. There was no pattern to any of it and as soon as I thought I had my symptoms under control, they would mutate into something completely different and twice as extreme as the last bout of mania. In my most recent manic episode, I would get between 1-5 hours of sleep a night, this went on for about two weeks. I felt so foreign in my own body with this unbearable urge to crawl out of my skin. My mind raced and at times I felt like my heart would pound right out of my chest. The was no rhyme or reason to my behavior. Massive mood swings could be brought on by something as inconsequential as someone else's passing conversation. At the height of my mania I had an upsetting conversation with the man I was seeing and residing with. Without missing a beat, I packed up my car and my puppy and the two of us were in Seattle 13 hours later. I was in Seattle for 2 days. During which, I dropped over $500 in one hour on clothing that I neither liked nor fit me. It was as if I were watching a film of my life. There was my "character" cast in this horribly distraught and erratic role. And there I was, the spectator, watching this vaguely familiar person get caught up in a nightmare-ish frenzy of nonsensical behavior. Needless to say, after my two day stint in Seattle, something put me in another tail-spin and I was in Portland by nightfall. I was there for one night before I once again fled in a whirlwind of impulse. In less than a week of my return home, I was addicted to coke. And for the first time, I felt normal. The coke mellowed me out, took away every little thing that I hated about being manic. A trade off of sorts...I could think straight, I was consistently getting 6+ hours of sleep. And in my own dysfunctional way, I was grateful. I was high everyday, for two weeks. My boyfriend at the time helped me off the drug and watched me go through an excruciating withdrawal of mental and physical breakdown. I was clean for a day and a half before I started sneaking lines behind his back. I remember one night my boyfriend and I went out to a local bar. I pre-gamed and continued the night by doing lines in the bathroom. I lost count after line 6 and was to the point where I couldn't remember what or how much was running through my system. I overloaded. I didn't eat or sleep for 4 days. During which, I lost complete control over my body and mind: I was a fucking vegetable. Looking back, I honestly don't know which was a worse experience: being manic or becoming an addict. Both carried a sliver a hope buried beneath a pile of torment. And when coupled together, I created a vicious cycle. I was miserable being manic ergo I medicated with coke. But then I became miserable on coke. Although, I could now handle my mania I had inadvertently become ruled by addiction: VICIOUS. I don't blame anyone but myself for becoming addicted to coke. I knew the risks going in, and yet, I still chose to journey down the rabbit hole. As for being bipolar, I was intensely resentful and in many ways I think I always will be, even just slightly. I had no say in being bipolar; it was written in my genetics long before I was ever conceived. In contemplation, these two experiences hold a bittersweet heir. There is so much agony and frustration associated with both. But at the same time, there is a sigh of relief and happiness. Through all the turmoil, I was affected in such a way that I know now what it means to live and to be gifted the chance at life. I discovered the simple beauty of being emotional, and vulnerable, and human.
The single most significant and amazing thing that has happened to me this past year, is that I am now in remission. I'm not sure how it happened (actually I do, its just not pleasant to talk about - James) but I could not be happier and more grateful. I am relieved to know that yes, this disease can be conquered, not cured, but this, how I am now, I can deal with. I didn't know I could feel this good after how sick I had been leading up to this.
This year had a nmumber of significant experiences in it. However, the one I want to share is my trip to Israel. How amazing to travel with my temple community and Ross, Raquel and Mollie. I was surprised by how much and on how many levels I was touched by this experience. I'm grateful to know that Israel is my home if not my country. I hope that we can make it a place where all Jews can feel safe and at peace.
My step-brother, Jack, passed away after a nearly 2 year battle with lung cancer. Beyond a great loss, I am able to reflect on the value he added to my life -- the example he set through his goal and achievements. I also learned that you can never really know the extent of the number of lives you have touched directly or indirectly. Through his life, he inspired, helped, and guided others -- not on purpose but as a result of how he lived himself. Far from perfect, he strived and succeeded to better himself, facing challenges within and beyond his control.
When a person I hardly knew offered to help me out financially it showed me the greatness you can find from someone you could less expect it. This Mitzvah has had a great effect on me and I will always remember it has inspirire me to b also kinder to others in need.
On January 4th, 2012, hopped on plane to a faraway land where people call eachother Old Mate, Digger, and are just generally weird. But they are nice enough. I have adopted a partial twang which I am still in two minds of. I am grateful for the opportunity and I'm looking forward to the next endeavour.
This year I rode my bike across the country; in fact I am still doing it right now. We are in Pomeroy, WA and are going to go at least until Portland, OR. To be honest, I am not sure exactly how it affected me. I know it has been the hardest thing I have ever done physically. It has been challenging in so many ways and rewarding too. I feel like I have accomplished a huge feat. It has been strange to be on the road for so many months. I am not sure what it is going to be like to be home again. I think I will be glad and probably experience a let down as well. I have met many wonderful people and seen the country up close. I got stronger as a rider and hopefully as a person as well.
Meeting Connor in best buddies and becoming an active member of the Purple Society.
I divested my self of all holdings [house, cars, etc] packed personal items in to PODS and got the hell out of L.A. Relocated to Denver, CO . In the first week I reregisterd a trailer and my Harley...purchased a Colorado Caddy[Jeep Wrangler]...turned in my California Drivers Lic. for a Colorado one...opened new bank accounts...went house hunting...found a house in Evergreen, CO...made a cash offer and had it accepted...sat down and had a drink. I am still spining from the move. Denver seems to be a much better place. The people here are very friendly . In LA when someone is friendly it is time to check for your wallet. It is too soon to say how it has effected me. I have a feeling that once I slow down that my head will explode
My youngest son, who is 15, recently left to go as an exchange student to the US. I am very pleased things seem to be working out well for him there. It is very significant for me though because I am all of sudden high and dry on the mothering front. I am not missing him particularly -- and I look at his growing up self on Skype and actually feel quite glad I don't have to be part of That. But I look around the rest of my life and despite certain past achievements, find not much of any present or continuing worth and some ethical ambivalence also. I am not relieved or resentful or grateful or inspired... maybe a bit on that last one but if so, it is a grey despairing inspiration.... desperation is probably a better description. Coupled with the effects of the menopause I now find myself without purpose and relatively little energy for any ideas that might give me some. I am cynical about almost everyone around me. I don't understand/like myself in social situations. For the first time I feel seriously distinguished from the younger people. I am terrified about what will happen when I finish this period of leave and have to take a hard look at my PhD. Just a lot of hot air, fancily arranged? I miss feeling love and being loved by my once-gorgeous children. I just loved being a mother. I just loved it. Now my attempted mothering of the adult versions is ... spurned...lampooned even...I know its ridiculous to still be asking people to put something on their arms (on the way to a nightclub, sure, but it is the MIDDLE OF WINTER!) I have to find a way forward. To live meaningfully and ethically. To find another way to contribute. Maybe to find a way to give and receive love again. Because otherwise I will dry up entirely and become very and permanently miserable. Must use gifts. Even if I'm old.
I was pleasantly surprised and excited to read my answers from last year. It's amazing that so much and so little happens in a year. Part of me feels in a much different place while another feels like nothing has changed. A few significant things happened to me this past year... 1. Last years answer was riddled with insecurity and doubt about Michael. After many painstaking months of internal debate, I finally broke. I snapped and just broke up with him over the phone one night. After a weekend of fighting, he told me he loved me for the first time. I felt like I should say it back and return the sentiment but I simply couldn't do it. That was the beginning of the end. In the mean time, I moved on with my life while he continued to deal with his busy life of a job, school, and ailing mother. She passed away about six weeks after our breakup. The guilt I felt was enormous and let me thinking about his everyday. I was dating someone that I was having so much fun with and doing all the things I wished Michael had done with me. The connection wasn't there though. I asked Michael to take me back and we dated for a few weeks but again, there was something missing and I snapped. I broke up with him over a brief, abrupt, immature email. I wanted so badly for Michael to be it but something was missing -- it didn't matter that we could take endlessly or he cared deeply about me, the "it" that I needed simply wasn't there. I feel a lot of regret and guilt about Michael. I handled both break ups immaturely and only thought of myself. For that, I am very sincerely sorry. I learned, however, that I need to speak up for myself and tell my significant other what's wrong when there is something wrong. I always avoided that with Michael because I felt as though he was dealing with too much. That just ended up hurting us both. I am also sorry that it took getting back together with him for me to realize that it would never work. I still think about him all the time and just recently caught up with him. We quickly slipped into familiar ease but the tension was apparent. It's not Michael that I miss, it's a sincere connection with another person. 2. That leads to the next experience -- Nick. Why about boys? Nick seemed perfect at the beginning...older, stable, smart, attractive, funny, lived close. Unfortunately, that quickly faded into a sad, depressed person. Again, I said nothing about how I felt until the breaking point hit. Luckily, I didn't wait too long. I was trying to make Nick more than he was. I wanted so badly for him to be something special but our conversations were always forced. I tried to tell myself that everyone has different types of conversation and that was just how we communicated. I realized that I don't want to have to force conversation with anyone and that I need to be with someone that wants to do fun things with me. I am an awesome girl and, despite my fear of growing another single year older, I refuse to settle for someone that doesn't appreciate my awesomeness. 3. This is probably the most important one...my little Pinto Bean. I love this dog more than I thought possible and I do everything I possibly can for him. I have invested countless resources to curb his biting and give him the most joyful life possible. I just don't know what I'll do if I can't get the biting to stop -- there may come a time where I am not the right home for him or that this world is not for him. I want him to be happy and live a fulfilling life. Being overly fearful is not happy and I need to act in both of our interests. I need to take this situation with him one day at a time and hope that everything turns out for the best. Luckily, at the time of this writing, I haven't been bitten in 2 weeks but he did growl at my friends last night. Sigh. I'm not sure if I"ll ever have a dog after him -- he's put me through a lifetime of canine struggles but I love him. 4. And finally, when I turned 27 this summer, I was feeling really down about my life. I don't own a house, there isn't marriage on the horizon...I just don't feel like I have much to show for my life. My mother said something very kind to me though -- that I help my parents, help my sister, help my dog, help my kids at school and that's a big accomplishment. I live my life helping others every single day. I guess that's gotta be worth something. This is going to be way annoying to read next year, Zarra.
Breakup of a relationship. Relieved. The thought of being free from a negative unloving relationship, is the most satisfying feeling. I still hurt, but not for the love lost but from the years of self doubt and loneliness. I feel happier now with who I am and my life then I have in many years and am grateful it ended and only regret that it didn't happen sooner. The break up was the obvious choice in the last year, but slowly not being the most significant and seems a lifetime ago.
I learned that my mom may not survive the cancer she has. I pushed my parents into going to the City of Hope, hoping that they would come up with a better plan of action for my mom's treatment. Not only did they not do that, in the end the doctor gave her a year to live (if she had to predict, and you can't really do that, she said). This has re-framed the way I look at a lot of things. At first, going clothing shopping with her made me think, what's the point?, she's going to be dead soon. Then I thought about the need to get her and our family's stories recorded. Intermittently, I'd retreat into my head (and sometimes into bed) in an overwhelmed, depressed state. Once I was driving on the freeway and a song hit me just right, and I turned into a big soggy mess. Now I'm cautious but hopeful. Maybe she'll live longer than they said. She's still doing pretty well. I don't really think about her recovering and being cancer free. It seems too fantastical and unreal. But I want that. I really want that. Mostly I try not to think about it. I spend as much time with her as my mental health allows, and am glad she's still alive. I'm very cognizant of the fact that I'm not always going to be able to say that--that she's still alive. I have been resentful, and will be resentful, and other things too. I don't want to go to the funeral. I want to be able to cry openly and not be forced to do anything. I want to mourn and pity myself and not think about anyone else but myself and my mom. I assumed my mom would live until at least her 70s. That's how long most of my grandparents lived. My family has always seemed so boring and predictable. This is a terrible way to be unique. I think about missing her when she is dead, and then feel like I'm not making good use of the time we have left together. But I'm doing the best I can, and that's all you can do.
I moved out of a city that I liked to another state where I did not have a job. It was exciting and scary and depressing. It's difficult to trust G-d when you're sitting in a dorm room, in your forties, wondering if you're going to get any answer from the applications you've sent out. That said, it's been a good process. I miss the city I moved away from, since I was just starting to put down some real roots in the community. But I'm slowly doing that here: I'll bloom where I'm planted.
I declared bankruptcy. It was a difficult decision but I was immediately relieved. I accept it as a badge of honor because it shows the depth we sacrificed to build our business. Anyone who judges has never really attempted to do what we did -- especially under the circumstances.
I have a couple of moments: - I graduated from high school in May of this year. I was so happy and I felt like that a huge rock was lifted from my shoulder. I felt that for the first time in my life I have found happiness in my life and great joy from having accomplished a huge task and showing everyone that people like me can achieve something like this. - I published my first novel. It took me four years to complete but now that I have it out there, I can proudly say,"I did that!" It has also inspired me to continue writing and develop my passion.
I finished the interior of my house after living here for 20+ years. It felt really important. I always felt that if I got the house together, my marriage would improve. Now I have given up on that and I can live in the house (or sell it) without trauma.
A close friend of mine came out if the closet and told me he was gay. The biggest effect was that it challenged my conventional ideas about homosexuality, friendship, acceptance of others and what if really means to be a true friend. Initially I had mixed emotions, but this was very short lived. By having my own prejudices and beliefs challenged I believe I grew as a person, friend and father.
I turned 30. Before, and leading up to my birthday I didn't think that I would feel any different. I figured that it would be just like any other birthday - nothing too significant, nothing too special, and certainly not a sudden change in perspective. But as I look back on it now - three months into my 30th year - I have definitely noticed a change in the way that I think, the things that I do, and how I handle day to day life. It was a turning point - suddenly I really AM an adult. I'm more focused on my work - and know that I have the ability to build things for myself, without relying on my parents or friends to give me the answers. The question asks if I'm grateful, relieved, resentful, inspired - and I believe I'm all of those things. But most of all I'm excited for the future.
I met someone who has significantly changed my life in a very possitive way. Unfortunately, we were not a good fit for a romantic relationship. Bittersweet, but I have no regrets.
I just moved to California. Like this past Tuesday. I got my driver's license to do so. I had a driver's license for 2 weeks before driving 2500 miles across country to do the thing I always wanted to do but never really thought I would. I am excited. The universe told me to go so I came. I turned my entire life in another direction in about 2 months. The most productive 2 months I have ever had. It has been, still is and will continue to be hard work but I have a much brighter out look on my life. I am where I need to be to be the person I know I am. I am grateful for the opportunity, for all the support and encouragement and connections that I have received from my friends and family. I really couldn't have done it with out them.
This summer, I got to spend two months in Germany. It was amazing, and strengthened my resolve to eventually move there. I am so grateful I got to go, and proud of myself for saving the money and planning the trip. I had a great time, and met some very cool people.
I got a promotion and a raise. It gave me more options; but it also put me under more stress. Overall, I think it was a good thing.
I traveled the western United States for five months, which included attending the Sundance Film Festival. It affected me in a bunch of ways. For starters, I got a better idea of the country, and its people. It seemed as though each place I visited got more and more beautiful. I realized I could live in other areas outside of NYC. In particular I fell in love with Santa Fe and Portland. I'm grateful for the opportunity and inspired to continue living life as an exploration.
well . . . we decided to get pregnant, and now I am. It makes me feel... special, fat, real, excited, staid, afraid, secret, like I am moving in a wholly different direction from my past aspirations - career, art, belonging based. It makes me want to achieve more, afraid that I never will, excited to have my own family unit, to disengage, have an excuse to disengage from my parents' family drama. After this summer of babysitting, I am thrilled, bored, tickled, and awed by the amount of work it will be. The feminist in me is also slightly ashamed to admit that I feel like this will give my life more structure and purpose. It will force me to get the most out of my time, and move out of the self-based laziness that I feel has inhabited the last few years. It is exciting, but I am almost divorced right now, at week 8, from how I feel - I refuse to feel, to be excited, especially since we haven't told anyone else yet - I terrified too that something will be wrong or go wrong, and yet convinced in a smug way that I am charmed and that could never happen to me. In a way, this is perhaps the biggest risk a human can take - creating another human, for whom I will feel responsible all of my life. Some part of my still wonders - why? Why have children; what an expensive, risky, all consuming project. And yet I yearn for the all encompassing love I will feel, the sci-fi experiment that is my body, with its pre-human parasite inside of me, and the tiny creature it will become and who I know already I will never be able to stop touching and kissing, really, no matter what they do or are or become.
I left the church I was raised in and the change has been more good than bad, but it is not without its anxieties. There is more to religion and to humanity than what I was taught; but sometimes I wonder if I will find a new church home. I don't want to be bitter about it; I want to be happy and celebrate people and life. So I try not to focus on the past; instead I look for opportunities to serve my city and community.
This year I experienced my initiation into manhood in Aravaipa Canyon, Arizona. In the process, the wounds in my heart and life became sacred and I was able to embrace the cracks in my heart and life. As I look back to that time in April, I feel full of joy and gratitude to have had such a transformative experience in my life. It has made all the difference.
This year I left my abusive marriage, fleeing into the night with only a few valuable items and a prayer. I will never forget that night, as it was the most frightening of my life. But I am so incredibly thankful that I had the strength to leave. I also found true happiness, which is something I lacked throughout the course of my wedded life. True happiness is feeling like you can be who you are without having to apologize for it. I will never be able to shake this event, as it is a part of my life's narrative now. But I am thankful that I was able to stand up for myself and say, "No more," and grateful for the lessons I learned as a result.
In August, my boyfriend moved away to St Anselm College. Being together for two and a half years, I didn't think that I would be able to be apart from him. Although New Hampshire isn't very far away from where I live, I knew that our relationship was going to be different and a lot more difficult to deal with. When I first found out that he was living in New Hampshire I was extremely mad and resentful. I thought that we would never be able to see each other and that we were just going to break up. Now that we are both in school, I realize that him going to away was a good step in our relationship. It helped me to become more independent and focus more on who i am as a person. We are still together and our relationship is better than ever. I am grateful that we are still able to have the same relationship as we used. Even though aren't able to see each other as much, I am still really happy for him and I believe him going away helped me become a better person.
My most significant experience was likely my conversion to Judaism on March 1st, 2012. I was heavily emotionally impacted and still am whenever the Sh'ma is recited on Shabbat morning. I still can tear up quite easily if I let my mind tarry too long on the Shabbat morning when I held the Torah and led the recital of the Sh'ma for the first time. It still awes me that I am now, officially, a Jew, and then again, it feels totally normal. Which is how most big things in life sink in to one's heart, mind, and rhythm, I suppose.
This summer, I went to camp. Although it was my 8th year at this camp, something very profound happened for me. During your last year, they put all of the girls in the oldest age group in the same cabin together, which forced me to go out of my comfort zone, and open myself up to others. I made friends with people I never even thought I would be friends with, including a girl who didn't get along with me in the past. We have become very close. This summer caused me to feel more comfortable socially at school. I'm talking to more people, and I've made so many new friends. I'm so grateful for this experience. This past summer has inspired me to take risks and become more extroverted.
This past year, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3.5 years. I feel as though I am free to discover who I am outside of a relationship, have new experiences with new men, and still be grateful for the bond he and I have. Sometimes I think I was a fool to end such a beautiful partnership, but most of the time I am grateful that at this young age I have two serious relationships in my past and am now able to explore the possibilities that the future holds.
The year I turned 50 was also the year that I lost my first friend to cancer. I have experienced grief for a parent, but never for a friend. As part of the extended family palliative care team, I was privelaged to be part of such an intimate and personal experience. Since then my best friend and father in law have both been diagnosed with cancer. How do I feel? Lucky to be able to support the special people in my life, and somehow at age 50, feel like it is now the time to take on 'real grown up problems".
I started to hook up with this guy and it went on for three months. I'm not the type of person to hook up with someone, and I surprised myself when I actually did hook up with him and it continued for so long. I thought that I would be attached, hurt when it ended and vulnerable, but thats not how I felt at all. I felt carefree, in control and happy because I was doing it on my terms and I felt comfortable. I am grateful for this because it made me realize that I cannot anticipate the emotions that I am going to experience. I learned that I was pleasantly surprised.
In the last year I came out to my dad - I didn't plan to but he asked and I couldn't avoid the question. He was shocked and upset but to his credit he rose above his own homophobia (my dad's Jamaican and very traditional). He assured me he'd work hard to get his head around it and that he loved me no matter what. I feel lucky to have come through the experience which my family intact. the relief was overwhelming. I remember sobbing uncontrollably in the shower the next morning. It was the conversation Id had a million million times in my head finally said aloud. Its been several months now and Im sure its had a big impact on me the scope of which I don't think Ill fully realise until I've finished living my life.
I started a new job. I stood up against unfair bullying in an old job and created a great deal of self respect and confidence for the way I handled the situation. In my new job, I've been challenged and confused and stressed - but again I have learned so much and feel I've grown. I also feel appreciated, autonomous, accountable and invested. I do feel like I don't have a great handle on work-life balance. I love my job, but I miss the connection I had with friends and family and would like to strengthen that this year.
I can clearly remember struggling with how to help a friend of mine who wasn't in a good place. She was the first person I knew who I felt like she could seriously harm herself. I was ashamed to know that when I was put into that situation, I didn't know what to do about it. I wasn't sure what would be the right direction to take or if my actions were only going to make her hurt worse. I watched her deteriorate in front of my eyes yet when I confronted her and tried to convince her to trust me, she just shut me out. I remember skipping class to go talk to my English teacher about it and wanting to break down and cry so badly because I was scared to death. The whole rest of the day I couldn't focus and my hands were shaking so badly I was a mess. Looking back I feel like I handled everything the best I could have but that's only more terrifying because I'm not sure if everything came out with a happy ending. I see that girl around school now and she doesn't seem as sad and hurt as she was last year but I don't know what's really going on. What really bugs me is the fact that it seemed like no one else cared. And if they did show concern, they did nothing to help her. They didn't stop to talk to her, or make sure that everything was alright at home. But what really got to me were the people that told me to stay out of it. They told me not to worry and that everything was probably fine and it really wasn't my business. If that girl took her life and I had suspected it, I would be just at much at fault as everyone else around her. She made the signs so obvious, by not covering her cut arms, or crying herself to sleep in class. Even though this was about half a year ago, it still affects me. I still almost cry just thinking about how close everything was to falling apart. I'm scared it may happen again...
I joined the Red Cross as a volunteer and now work every Week helping people affected by disaster. Now every week I spend a whole day that's not about me. What a great experience!
Just over a year ago, I quit my job and chased a dream, which eventually dove like a meteor into the earth and drove a furrow miles long before coming to a stop as a slow, smoking wreck. Now I'm working as a contractor, doing the easiest work I've ever done, for more than I've ever been paid. But I'm back to an age-old problem: creative output equals joy, and this job has none to give. So I'm surrounded by blessings, yet existentially (and profoundly) depressed.
I was being treated badly by my boyfriend. He was giving all the signs of someone I should not marry. Yet, my dream was to marry him and have his children. When he finally broke up with me a week ago today, I realized he was not that into me, and I deserve to be with someone who will make me feel like a million bucks.
My Mom died. It was really hard. I was just beginning to get used to the idea of coping with her illness. I really miss her. I'm sad a lot. I'm resentful that she died without me getting to say goodbye, but I'm thankful that she probably went without feeling much pain. Actually, I'm comforted that, according to her, she wasn't ever in much pain, physically. I have so many questions left unanswered and I don't know what to do with them. She and I were just starting to really get close and I was beginning to understand more why she did the things she did. I was often very angry in the last year. That has subsided some. Now the sadness weighs heavier upon me.
After moving, I struggled to adjust and "checked out" and fell into a bit of a depression It lasted through Christmas of 2011. I somehow pulled myself out of depression and credit it with creativity. I am grateful to have realized that creativity was key to pull out of that. But I also am sad that I checked out last year and feel like my daughter was really disappointed. I am determined to be present for Christmas this year and make it fun and memorable!
1. My most significant recent experience was honestly meeting Liam. As cliche as it might sound, he has honestly changed my life so much. We always tell each other stories before we go to bed about everything that has happened between us, and those stories highlight my nights. I could go on and on, but this is the first thing that popped into my head. 2. When the Capozzolis left. Basically those children are miserable little shits. Her family made my family so uncomfortable, and they made me depressed while I lived with them. Finally, after living only 2 weeks with them, my parents understood what I had been going through for the past 2 years: sheer hell. And to be completely honest, I don't expect the hell to end anytime soon. This whole ordeal has resulted in me losing a lot of friends. My outlook on life has been pretty negative, and I know that I need to make a turn around soon. Good thing Liam makes every day better
Anthony and I broke up after all the drama ensued from Htin pursuing me and I falling for him. I spent a long time trying to recover and took my time to enjoy the summer break with all my close friends and family. Despite all the drama that happened, I'm very grateful. I got out of something that was making me very miserable and although the path I took to get out was awful, I learned a lot of things from it. Its like those falls where you really scrape yourself but it helps you grow. It has left a mark but now I look at it fondly.
I turned 50. I think I was grateful but also proud of myself. I definitely feel as if I have a new lease of life since the stem cell transplant. I am ready to go. I am unstoppable. Watch this space.
My business partner made a decision, I agreed and inadvertently took shares away from minority shareholders. They were close friends and it has caused emotional as well as monetery damage. Im glad the law suit is over, Im sad it caused such pain between friends and I am inspired to move this project forward and have her bought out!! Im ready for everyone to be healed and the product in the hands of the right people to make a difference in the lives of many, give the shareholders dividends and ultimate trust in me. I have to trust me again too!!
I went on a summer program called Wheels. It was the most amazing experience of my life and I will always be grateful for deciding to go and for meeting all of the amazing people i did. I met my best friends, my family and I discovered a lot about myself
Moved back to the USA. I came back partly because I wanted to be closer to my family and partly because my work permit was expiring. I was away for over 5 years. I loved the experience and wished it did not end, however, I wanted to be closer to my family. If I was an "orphan" (not that I wish for that), I would have found a way to stay. I returned to an area where I have no immediate family or friends. I'm a bit depressed.
This is a two-part answer. The first part is that I finally gathered the strength to end a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship that lasted a year longer than it should have. It took a great deal of courage and I spent weeks crying because by the time I ended it, my self esteem was close to non-existent. What really helped me was my first year of college, which reintroduced me to my individuality and my own passions. It reminded me to love myself. I matured a lot as a result of that breakup. I learned to trust more wisely, and to value my own wellbeing more. But it also left me severely wounded. I found myself suddenly extremely liberated, emotionally and sexually, and I was so scarred by my controlling and manipulative ex that I grew cold and cynical. As much as I longed to, I couldn't even remember what it felt like to truly be interested in somebody. The second part of my answer comes in five months after my breakup, when I met a boy who felt to me like a best friend that I should have met ten years earlier. We had an instant connection, and for him I felt the ice that had hardened my heart melt away. It terrified me. I kept my walls up for as long as I could, but he made it easy to trust him. He would hold my hand for an hour and just look into my eyes, telling me how much he liked me not for my looks but for my independence and intellect. By May, we would spend the nights cuddling in the park, talking, sharing, crying even, and kissing until the sun rose. Although he is gone now, and our semi-relationship ended on confusing terms, I will never forget how he taught me to feel again, and to open myself up to other people.
I ended a friendship with a person i considered the closest friend I have had. For a while I wanted to go back and take back what I said and done however because of how stubborn I can be I never do. I am resentful because the type of things that happens to me, she would be the first one to know. In a way I am resentful of how I ended it but hopefully I will learn to move on from it.
This year I attended International Kallah, a three week Judaism program. It was incredibly inspiring, and I not only rekindled my love of Judaism, but also learned more about myself than I ever thought possible in such a short period of time. It was truly spectacular.
My best friend received a terminal diagnosis this summer. I am pretty broken up about this. She knows I am there for her. I cope mostly by reminding myself : "This is not about me. I will help her deal with this in ways that are meaningful and seem right to her." When 2 other friends of mine died several years ago, I was not able to be fully present for them, and I have regretted that.
The most significant experience was to ride AIDS LifeCycle for the first time. 1 year ago I had never been on a road bike and now I sit here, someone who has ridden a bike almost 545miles from San Francisco to LA! The experience has required so much commitment and through the challenges of the last year, It has changed so many things in my life. It has helped me to see myself in a new ways. To see and feel an inner strength that I never knew I had. To experience love and support and even strangers, some who are now friends, believing in me, when no one else had and when I didn't believe in myself. It has allowed me to let go of manay toxic people in my life. I still feel like there is much to learn, but I have come so far this year, in finding my inner voice and myself! I am so grateful to have had this experience and although I plan to do the ride again next year, I will never have that first time experience.
I killed someone i loved by proxy or at least in the most passive aggressive manner possible. I betrayed my best friend. I'm angry,sad and disappointed. But, this can't be it. Learn to let something you love die. Learn to kill,to betray, to rape. Become the villain. I believe.
A significant experience that has happened to me in the past year is that Leann asked me to marry her. It has affected me profoundly - I am excited to start this new chapter in my life - but fearful, too. I don't want our relationship to ever end - and I didn't handle my previous marriage well. Leann and I recently went to Cancun and while there we talked about marriage - she was fearful to take that step because she didn't want anything to change for us. I completely understand that - and I have a great deal of respect for her for admitting that. I want to marry her for many reasons - but primarily to declare legally to the world that THIS IS MY LIFE PARTNER. And I want her to be able to access my benefits and vice versa. She is the person that knows me the best, loves me the most (well - differently than my parents and siblings), and shares my life with me. We have built a family together - we have our four dogs and three kitties. We lost Gracie last winter - it was so hard. But Leann has proven to me time and time again that she's here for me and loves me unconditionally. I want to make sure that I do everything I can to keep this relationship at the top of my priorities and that I never violate her trust.
My father died, after spending about nine months in a nursing home. He had dementia. Near the end, when I often sat with him, trying to give him some peace. He was very upset most of the time, scared, and confused. I needed to just hold his hand and be with him, and speak peacefully to him. In order to do that, I had to reach inside for peace and strength I found in myself. I am grateful that I could find it, and that I could share it. The experience has left me feeling that deep peace that I uncovered in myself so I could I offer it to him.
I hiked the Camino de Santiago. I had been wanting to do it for many years (over 10) and I finally was able to. It was very inspiring and helped me find some peace in life. It helped me realize I am important, and not just because I was "chosen" for all the years of abuse by two very sick men. It taught me a lot about myself and helped me come to an understanding of who I am naturally and how I was shaped from the abuse. I think I'm finally ready and able to put this down now and truly move on in life. I can let the abuse go because I do exist without it and I am strong enough to face not only what they did, but myself as well and make the changes I want to.
I received a significant raise. I am very grateful that I can try achieve my financial goals.
I managed to get my diabetes somewhat under control. I'm checking and regularly taking my insulin and I'm not restricting to lose weight anymore. The real difference was my therapist Burt. He made all the difference in the world and I don't think I would have come this far without him. I also started going to an ED clinic for awhile which really only seemed to make things worse. But they closed down so I'm done with that.
i didn't turn 18 but i pierced my lip and when i do turn 18 i will significantly experience getting a dildo
This year I was a awarded a state arts council fellowship in poetry. I had applied many times and never even made it to finalist, and was even thinking, "that's it, this is the last time!" It is so validating to receive an award of this kind; I feel as if all the hard years I've put into my art (while working and raising two kids) are finally beginning to make sense. I am inspired to keep going, keep writing, keep creating!
I went to see psychic medium and the experience changed my life. I'm so grateful for the words I heard during my session because It helped me re-build the relationship with my Mom and got me to take some major chances in life.
I got a new job working for IFI. It's been a little crazy going back to a "real" job, but all in all, I am so happy to be working again. I am so grateful to Kaellen for watching the boys. I am sooo hopeful that I will do well at IFI, and that this could be a long term career move. Time will tell. My first impressions are that Kurt is a bit of a complex guy, that I have much to learn, and that I need to figure out a work life balance over the next year. But most of all, I am so thankful to God for proving a great opportunity to me.
My significant experience is that I lost my job and found my true calling. I have been profoundly affected by my religious school directorship. But I am even more grateful to the clergy and the clergy at the Temple where I belong for the encouragement to apply to cantorial school in a couple of years. I am relieved and inspired to move forward on this journey as I sing on the bima at Montefiord Nursing Home since 1986 for the High Holy Days.
Very happy to see I am loosing weight a bit slowly but surely. Went to see Robin Dube and he has helped me with my leg pain. I am so releived.
The legal battle in my family of origin is incredible. Once one is in the Court Web, there is not too much hope to get out. I have learned the Serenity Prayer works and releiving that there is a reason that mysiblings and I have come to a sad point. I pray for peace, forgiveness and understanding. Life is too short.
Our son got married to a beautiful young woman; they are now expecting their first child in early 2013. I am happy and blessed.
I left a job I had held for 9 years. I was successful within the business and the professional community. I left because my supervisor was not supporting me. I did not feel safe. Team meetings were not a safe environment. Ideas were criticized. Brainstorming became...silent. I left. I did nothing for 2 months. Nothing but slept and looked inside myself. Gathered my talents and headed out for a new job in an arena I never thought I would be in. I am inspired. I am safe. I am valued.
My husband began a post-bac program to prepare for applying for medical school. He is still not sure if he will finish the program and actually become a doctor--he thinks he might want to be a writer instead. It has been stressful not knowing what path he will take. Being a doctor will take many years but has the advantage of leading to a stable and fulfilling career. My husband is a wonderful writer but I fear the realities of a field where a steady income is not guaranteed. It makes me question my own career path--am I doing what I love? What is my true calling? Have I been to practical in my choices?
My oldest son graduated High School and left on a gap year program to Israel. He had a rough start and really relied on me to help pull him through. He was appreciative and grateful. He rallied and is now having an experience that will inform the rest of his life. Now, he is doing great and really learning to fend for himself. Letting him fly has been bittersweet, but I am so proud. I am hoping to translate this into my parenting for the next two children in my care. I gave birth to them and am trying to raise them to do just this and to be a gift to the world we live in.
I traveled to South and Central America for the first time in my life for 5 months. it was one of the best experiences of my life. it taught me that if i want to do something all i have to do, is do it. my friend rachel and i had an idea to write a book about female street artists in latin america so we raised the money to travel, went to places in the world we had never been to, figured out bus schedules, met over 30 different artists, learned a new language, lived with people i had never even dreamed of meeting. it was an idea born out of nothing, and We made it happen (with a lot of love and support from our friends and family)
My mother (94),who in June seemed more like 74 had a gall bladder attack. It seems to have aged her 20 years over night. So now, she appears to be as weak and helpless as one may expect for a 94 year old. But it is quite shocking and upsetting to see her so fragile. Intellectually I knew she would die some day, but never REALLY believed it would actually happen and certainly wouldn't happen slowly with her getting weaker daily. It has made me depressed and sad and introspective about prospects for my own life.
My health has really suffered this year. I had been sick with what I thought was a cold in Nov 2010, which took a long time to heal, and by the time I could ride again, I felt like I was starting at zero. Every attempt to make progress was thwarted by scheduling conflicts, etc, and I ended up not doing very well on the Ride in 2011. So I vowed to get in better shape this year, took specific measures to ride every week, and still, steady progress eluded me. On top of that, I was embarrassed by new riders who were doing so well, and having them see me struggle as a 9 yr veteran was VERY disheartening. This fall, I will be leading rides for beginners just about every weekend, in addition to riding my bike to work twice a week. I am hopeful this will get me back on track to a great Ride next June!
I got married. I guess that's the obvious experience in the last 12 months, but I have to say that this act made me more grateful than any other in my life. There are a lot of expectations associated with the act of marriage, but in my experience they relate to the ceremonial elements: what you look like, how you dress, who you invite, how tired or overwhelmed you'll feel the day of your wedding, etc. These are things that did not matter much to me. I was with my partner for 10 years before we got married. There was no question of commitment. Some might ask why we even got married. (It was for children. The one way in which I am somewhat traditional, after living "in sin" for so long.) In many ways before we got engaged, I thought the wedding itself might be a bit anti-climatic. I was wrong. It was overwhelmingly wonderful to be surrounded by people you know and love, from all periods of your life. We made a week out of the occasion, and invited those closest to us (plus only a few others, who my parents felt attached to). I walked around that day and the months after with this glow of appreciation. I am so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. I am so grateful. This is so precious. I have to also admit that it has been a few months at this point, and once more life has ratcheted up to its normal breakneck pace. The waves of gratitude have ebbed quite a bit. Maybe recording these thoughts can help them to flow once more.
My 4 year old son was diagnosed with high-functioning autism. Toby's diagnosis was not a surprise and was relieving in many ways. I have suspected autism since he was 4 month old and to have someone else back me up on that was comforting - I no longer feel like there's something wrong with me that makes him act the way he does. However, it's also been difficult as I have had to let go of many dreams and hopes I had for my little boy (for example, sending him to this private school I've always wanted to have him attend is now out of the question.) I often feel disappointed that I will never know what it's like to parent a neurotypical child. Toby is still my son and I still love him, but in many ways I have had to let go of the idea of having a normal life and accept that what I have now is, and will always be, my reality. Reconciling those two images has definitely not been easy and I am still working on it.
I got to take over leadership... and I feel excited and ready. I am off the pretty girl stage, and now am here to serve ... also, I am a Writer and I write write write the shabbos plan is a going well. the more organized I am the better I am at meeting my OWN goals! It is sooo worth it... It feels good to have everything have a home!
I got a great management team! Woot! They really believe in me and reaffirm my belief in myself as an actress.
We sold our house, went overseas two days after moving out, found a rental, moved in, my wife gave birth to a bouncing baby boy on a Sunday, we then bought a house on Tuesday all with in the space of 2 months. I am tired from the experience, yet relived to have found a home for my family that we can truly call ours.
I found out that I have a half-brother I never knew about, born to my mother before my parents were married. He was put up for adoption, and his records were recently opened. He tracked me down. I'm 60, he's 61, and it was a complete surprise. I'm mostly amazed, and the details of the situation have made me think about my mother (who died in 1986) in a very different light. It's difficult to imagine what her life was like back in immediately-post-WWII America, and I'm still trying to sort out what I can. I haven't actually met my brother, though we've talked on the phone and I was able to scan and email pictures of our mother to him, which arrived on Fathers' Day, much to the delight of him and HIS family. We'll be meeting sometime this year, in person. All in all, I'd call it a very positive experience -- though my first thought was that I had been targeted by very clever Nigerian scam artists.
I came into contact with someone that I had to be around that I detested. I dislike him because of the way that he treated me and the way that he used others for personal gain. It made me miserable. It has made me question everything. My work, my drive, my ability to interact with people. I am grateful because I had never had a challenge like that before. Unfortunately, I failed. And now I'm seriously unsure of what lies ahead.
Ran my first half-marathon. At the finish line, I wasn't sure whether to cry, laugh or scream. I was so excited to have finished. The adrenaline carried me through the rest of the day.
Tearing my labrum (the cartilage in my shoulder). It has been a part of everything I am or have done since February. I am oddly grateful for this. It's causing me to slow down, to stop really. People have risen to the occasion to help me that I cold never have expected, and I've gotten a brand new appreciation for how wonderfl it is to have a body with working parts.
We traveled to the Big Island of Hawaii. We spent 15 days in all traveling and just 11 there. It was just magnificent. Some of the most beautiful , serene beaches I have ever been to with the most powdery sand I have ever felt. I loved being there and at the same time, it really struck me that it is an occupied place. The native people that we met were friendly and open. I couldnt help feeling badly that it is an occupied place though, and fairly recently. And that I just couldnt live there because I would always feel that I was living on land that I didnt belong on and at the same time we so want to return.
My parents, who are both 90, have had significant health issues. I have been able to step up and deal. In particular, I have been able to let go of a lot of the anger I have toward my dad who is abusive. He is still impossible, but I no longer feel that I can fix him and have stopped trying and simply deal with him where is is.
I reached my goal of losing 80 pounds. This morning. I am grateful as so many people helped me be to the place that I could do this, and taught me things that helped me to do this. Its a bit new to say how it affected me, but I feel more confident.
I have been struggling to make a jump in my career and decided that going full time freelance would be the most effective way. It has been a long haul but I am finally moving to Singapore for a six month dream contract. I fly out on Wednesday and I am great full apprehensive extatic terrified relieved excited hopeful . . . I can't wait for the adventure.
While going through Safe Zone Training I was asked a question about when I first discovered sexual preference and it forced me to think back about past feelings that had surprised for over a decade. It was the beginning of my reemergence as a gay black woman. From that moment on I knew that the light that I had tried to dim so many times was about to shine brighter than it ever had before and that it would never be dimmed or extinguished ever again. I am both grateful and relieved that I have taken another step towards living a truly authentic life in all aspects. I do so with extreme fervor and the knowledge that God loves me for who I am because he knows my soul to its core. I'm inspired to live my life without regrets and to continue on my journey to help others to discover their purpose in life through continuous introspection.
Robby proposed!! In the months leading up to his proposal, we had begun discussing our wedding and throwing around ideas, so it wasn't entirely unexpected that this would be the next step in our relationship. However, I did not expect it to happen when/where it did. I was surprised (at the timing), excited, and stunned. I felt like it was an out-of-body experience as I watched us from above. The following week was so wonderful, as we brainstormed and had so much fun enjoying the newness of being an engaged couple. And it seems since then - even 6 months later - the excitement continues. I am grateful for the love I have found and feel so blessed in so many ways.
I began to become comfortable in my own skin. I stopped thinking I needed to be interested in things I'm not or hide who I am. I no longer feel the need to "keep up appearances." With it comes an incredible sense of relief. So much energy has returned to me.
My dad retired. We had to go to another church. I'm happy for my dad becos he deserves a break from being a pastor. I feel a little resentful becos I had to leave a place where I was comfortable for the past 19 years. And I'm furious that those I counted on as family friends turned out to be anything but. For the first time in my life I'm no longer the token PK. I used to hate being the preacher's kid but after being in the roll for nearly my entire life it's a hard position to shake. As a parent it's my responsibility to pass my faith on to my children and becos of all the changes in my faith life I'm struggling to find a church that suits my needs. My faith has been severely shaken this year. The Lutheran church, both synodical and worldwide, has disappointed me. Some days I wonder if I'll ever find my way back to my faith.
A significant experience that happened this year was my new transition to my current job. This past year I have inspired myself by having the intentions to be the best TA of Floortime like my supervisor. I have earned the respect of many people within the school. I have inspired myself to believe in what I would like to do and be because I saw it happened. I feel inspired that I can do more with what I have therefore inspired to moved forward. And currently am applying to a new job, because I recognized how much I have to give and can be the best at things, when I give myself the chance to look at myself through a positive light, rather than a critical eye. I have inspired myself to BELIEVE in myself. Its been a wonderful feeling to look forward to my future with respect of my present and that what I need to be done will be done. I work best when I am respectful of my needs and allow myself to feel what I feel. And with this acceptance with myself and success with students am inspired to create healthy relationships with co-workers in working relationships. INSPIRED TO CHANGE INSPIRED TO BELIEVE IT CAN HAPPEN! IT WILL HAPPEN!
I got a job at Meijer. I'm very grateful! It's a nice place to work, and I like making a contribution to our family income.
I quit my job after 10 years with the one employer. Went from a high pressure results orientated 'prove-yourself' organisation to a much slower paced part time role with a company that is not into 'proving-yourself' and using 'how many hours you stay at work' as the measure for that proof. And to top it off...I'm earning the same hourly rate as I was in my previous role. Working part-time is a culmination of events over the past 10 years (involving moving from the city to the country, self-building my own home, being self-sustainable by growing 90% of my own produce and meat and my partner's business growing at an alarming rate). I am extremely grateful and blessed to be in this position and to experience a real inner peace. Two HUGE differences I have noticed is that my artistic abilities (which previously I had zilch) have come out. I am taking and selling photographs worlwide and am slowly gaining a reputation in this field which I never thought possible (I mean...I am someone who couldn't even write straight across the page !!!) The other difference is my intuition in reading others has gone off the scale. Previously, I took little notice of how others maybe feeling/acting/being....now, when I talk to people I can feel within myself how they really are. At times, the others persons name screams in my head until I ask them are they genuinely ok. This has resulted in a few people being taken back on how I knew things about them that they hadn't told anyone. Needless to say....this part has freaked me out a little, but I'm learning to understand this new found gift.
In the past year I made the decision to start going to therapy, and to me that experience was very significant. It really helped me out in a lot of areas, most importantly it helped me grow up. I only attended therapy for a few months, but I am still very grateful for the experience. It relieved all of my "end of the year/graduation" stress, and helped me prepare for my first year of college.
Saw photos of my dad for the first time in 10 years. We've been estranged for the longest time. As an amazing blessing, we reconnected despite the fogs of resentment and bitterness that could have risen. And we talk every few days now. Grateful. And praising God for everything that's led to. (Forgiveness, enough financial support for a move, feeling that the second half of my life is slowly coming back, and him telling me to pursue my dreams. Too many blessings to count).
I accepted an overseas job in Kuwait and left my "drudge" job in Texas. I'm excited to go, and look at it as a chance to reinvent myself physically and discover myself spiritually.
Finally, in my 72nd year, I let go of a sister with whom I have nothing in common except natal family. I am relieved and I am certain she is too. She is not bad and neither am I - we just do not relate.
Broke up with BF. Relieved. Inspired. Happy.
my husband cheated on me and I did not stick to my boundaries, was wavering about how to handle it. I am happy to say that I now at least know my boundaries
I started Reading Recovery training. I'm excited and a little worried. I hope it will rekindle my interest in teaching and help me continue happily till time to retire.
Two days before the first day of teacher training - the annual day when I re-open my school for another year - I was told that I would be asked to leave in 4 months. Though I knew this was driven by politics out of my control, this was challenging. This was a significant experience because I was being asked to leave the school I had founded, and the organization I have been a part of for almost 7 years. This was significant because it was the most emotional, painful, shocking, character-building, intense work experience I have ever had. This was one of those moments where - in the moment- you know that you are forever changed. In one moment I was relieved and finally set free, and at the same time was resentful that I was being set free. This moment quickly became the foundation from which grew many other defining moments. I had to tell my staff -- some of which joined me almost 4 years prior as founding teachers -- that I would not be the Principal after December. I had to begin investing my staff in the benefits of my absence - without tears, without anger, without sadness; but with excitement for the future. This was a significant moment because I had to set a plan to leave the teachers, children, families, and friends I loved.
This year I got divorced. Such a bombshell, that word. Divorce. Synonymous with failure, selfishness, and betrayal. Assholes get divorced. Victims get divorced. But it's also a passage, an opportunity to reboot and to grow. My own weaknesses and limitations have been brought into sharp focus, and I've come to realize that these are fundamental parts of human nature. Divorce is so much more complicated than I ever would have imagined, and also simpler. It feels like I have failed at something so basic and essential, breaking a bond I thought would be unbreakable. At the same time, the choice to get divorced was very simple and clear to me. He is a good man, but I wasn't ever going to get what I needed out of that relationship, and neither was he. To end it meant to hurt someone I loved purposefully and deeply. It meant prioritizing my needs over his. I couldn't stay, but I could hardly bear to go. My feelings about the end of that relationship are still changing. Some days I feel solid, like all the pain and mistakes have provided the soil I needed to grow. Other days I'm regretful, and I miss things I hadn't anticipated losing with the end of my marriage--my house, my dogs, some friends, some family. The realization that I will probably never pet my dog's soft, floppy ears again is enough to unhinge me if I think about it for too long. I dream about reconciling with my ex-sister-in-law, who is still so angry I doubt we'll ever talk again. Loss after loss after loss, like punches that come one after the other. There is something profound in the title of Joan Didion's essay collection, "We Tell Ourselves Stories In Order to Live." There are many ways to tell the story of my divorce, and the story I choose to tell myself will shape how I move forward with my life. I can think of myself as selfish, as heartless, as a cheat and a liar and a quitter. Or I can think of myself as one component of a larger system that wasn't working. I can consider myself brave for honestly facing our broken marriage and ending it with as little emotional and financial carnage as possible. I can try to forgive myself for making mistakes and commit myself to moving forward. I choose this narrative and I live it every day. With divorce comes a chance to start again, to not make the same mistakes next time. Leaving a relationship that wasn't right has made room for one that feels righter. It has opened up the possibility of having children and settling down. It has given me the opportunity to root around inside myself and find what really matters to me and what doesn't. It has made me less judgmental and softer. These are gifts I hardly feel that I deserve, and yet I have received them. So I am profoundly grateful for this experience. I feel that I have learned more than I have lost, and I have come out of it still capable of love and believing in marriage. My core remains unfractured. Yes, sadness still visits me in my dreams. But I'm grateful for the sadness, too. It reminds me what it is to be human: stumbling through life, making mistakes, forgiving one another, and working to forgive ourselves.
He kissed me. Why did he do it. I don't know. I wish he hadn't. I think he wishes the same. It changed everything; it changed nothing. But it changed me, and now I'm not the same, and I don't wish I could go back to before, but I wish I weren't Eve having eaten the apple. It's the knowing, you know. The knowing the the thing that changes everything; makes us different. He knows now what it's like to know, and I know now what it's like to not know. And I'm not sure whether I don't want to know. Whatever it was, I have been changed, for the better, and for good.
My dog died I miss him greatly and always will
In February I was scheduled to have shoulder surgery, to repair my labrum and cut and reconnect my bicep tendon. Less invasive than rotator cuff, but there was more damage and more repair necessary once they got in there. The recovery was going to be long, but 6 months didn't sound unreasonable, I typically healed faster than the norm. Nothing prepared me for the aftermath, the nausea and vomiting from the anesthesia, the inability to care for myself or having to depend on Bill & others to take care of me. Those first 10 days that he cared for me, were truly acts of love, and they were like no one else had ever cared for me before (post babies-3 nada!), even my own parents (post new born). He bathed me, fed me, iced me, medicated me...I have never felt that way before, safe and loved. My office let me down and I was working way before I was ready. My mom came and tried to help, but she had other demands on her time, and then my dryer broke and the basement flooded....Murphy's law. Bill put camis on me cause I couldn't wear a bra, took me to my post check up, cleaned up, watched the dogs. I got fat and out of shape, I wasn't able to do all the things we like to do, I was discouraged and lost faith, wondered if I could ever play soccer or tennis again, or do yoga or climb a wall. Through it all we were physical, we cared for each other, even when I was so down, he was there for me, I was grateful, I felt loved and loved him, would never want to do it again, but what an incredible way to learn what love truly can be like.
One of my good friends dropped out of school because he won a prestigious technology fellowship. Since he left, I realized what a significant impact he has had on my life and that the work he is doing now outside of school will help him become a guy who can change the world. Through the experience, I've realized that sometimes, the best thing you can do for your friends is to support their choices and trust that they can make their own decisions. I am so proud of him, and I'm thankful every day that I played at least a small role in his life.
My father died on Father's day. His death was not unexpected, yet it was sudden. I thought I was prepared, however I suppose one cannot be truly prepared for the death of a parent. He was a good man, a good father, a fantastic grandfather and a wonderful husband. He was a mentor to many. He is missed. I miss him in unexpected moments.
Fell in love. He broke my heart. I am thankful for having experienced what it does to the soul to be in love with someone who seems to be in love with you back. I know now it is the best of life's gifts.
i became a college student - no longer living at home full time. for the most part, i have loved it, but every once in a while i get nostalgic about my youth and my childhood home/life, and how fast everything seems to go. but in general, college has done nothing but open my eyes to incredible things, and i love rochester and everything about it.
I am very inspired by the entire past year of being a first time mother. My son has really showed me the vulnerability of the life process, how we all start out the same and work our way through every new experience. He is so happy all the time and that inspires me to be a better mother to him every day. I have met some excellent mothers too and that has inspired me to keep accepting the challenges of parenting with a grateful attitude. It has also showed me how fast and fleeting the life process is and that we are here for such a short time. Its all so delicate.
Being called out to tell the truth more fully with a friend/mentor. A part of me really squirmed, thought I was in 'big trouble' with my friend AND discovered that I am even more greatly loved and supported than I ever would have known. I am relieved and learning how to love accept and move forward myself, even with my human foibles, more all the time. I am inspired and committed to continue getting to know my truth and my feelings fore fully
I was planning on attending college at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor this year but towards the end of the summer my admission was revoked. At first I didn't know how to handle the news. I immediately felt the self destructive urges come back that I had been working so hard to get past. But after a day or two of trying to come to terms with the news, I started to understand how important it is that this happened to me. I finally realized just how destructive my habits had been, with the self harm and the controlled eating and such. Destroying myself to stop feeling so sad wasn't fixing anything, it was keeping me stuck in a depressive destructive rut. I haven't bought new razors since then and I haven't cut since then. I plan on never going back.
I turned 50, a week before my best friend had her third surgery in five years for ovarian cancer. She is a few years younger than I, and, though it pains me to say this, she'll be lucky to turn 50. I had dreaded this milestone birthday, but the juxtaposition of these two events brought home to me what a privilege it is to grow older. That has changed my outlook immensely, and I am grateful for the time I have, and the changes over time seem so small and unimportant. I only hope I can face my challenges with the courage and grace that she continues to show every day during her long fight.
I had an intense car accident that really made me reflect upon what I was doing with my life and inspired me to finally move back to New York, which I had been threatening for quite some time. I was grateful to be alive and to have the opportunity to return to a place that I love.
The extended absence of my family. My partner took our children and went to the UK (we live in Australia - she is British) to help look after her ailing father. I stayed behind to continue in the job that I very much enjoy and in which I had just got a promotion. Flying to the UK every 3 months. This compromised my ability to do what I wanted in my new role. At first I was resentful, not expressly toward her, I spread the resentment over her family. I missed them terribly. Work didn't suffer too much but I haven't achieved all I wanted to. However, over the last year, I have come to respect her decision and admire her loyalty to her family. It has given me a chance to appreciate how lucky I am to have my beautiful children and such a dedicated woman as a mother for them. It's also given me the opportunity to add a policy to my life's framework. Nothing trumps family. I have heard it before but sometimes the foolish need to learn first hand. I have handed in my notice at my great job. I'll be moving to the UK to work and be with my family soon. I don't want to leave Sydney but I know that my partner wants to be with her parents. I am at optimistic about the outcome of this decision, if not totally overjoyed, I am content. I am excited about this next phase of my life. I haven't been outside my comfort zone by this far for awhile. I have run a pretty full gamut of emotions this year and am hoping that I have come to a better understanding of where my life is and where it's going. At the end of the day I am grateful for the lesson.
I moved into a coop and had a surrogate family for a while. I also dated one of my housemates. Feeling connected to a community brought me endless joy. I learned how important community is to me, how important my family is to me, and that seeking out community and staying connected to my family is an important part of my well-being.
there were a number of significant experiences in my life this year which makes it difficult to choose just one. my daughter became a bride, i became engaged, my daughter turned 30 and i turned 60. i guess 60 is the clincher this year - just because it seems to be such a big number, such a turning point: a number that signifies a new life in the form of old age. i think i am aghast more than grateful - although being engaged as an old woman makes me grateful to be loved and to be alive. relieved? i don't know - at this age i require more 'relief' - stronger glasses, sleeping aids, back braces....to feel relief. i am only partly being silly in that part of this answer....ugh. excuse me while i go take my fosamax....
Quitting Fresh City Farms. It was such a hard decision to make but as soon as I knew I needed to do it, there was no going back, it felt right. It was really hard to get up the nerve to admit both to myself and to Ran and Phil that I wasn't right for the position- who wants to admit somethings not a fit? Maybe thats been a bit of a theme this year- admitting when something hasn't worked and doing something about it. So many times in past years I've just sort of stuck with something cause its easier- Billuim, IWJ, the New Farm, Ben. But I think I've finally reached a point where I'm striving to find things that really fit for me. A few other examples are leaving Sully, not continuing at dufferin grove, not taking the cracker job (and having to call up the boss and tell her I was backing away from the interview), wayne. Since quitting that job, I never once looked back and still dont regret the choice. The truth was, I didn't really want to be running a farm anyways and I pretty much confirmed that as soon as I starting being there. I now know that I dont have to stand for anything that doesn't work for me and I will benefit 10 fold from making the hard decision to step away.
I met and fell in love with the person I suspect I might one day marry. I am grateful, as she makes my life just so much better.
Seeing the Jewish Study Center was, in their announcement, open to and was seeking teachers...while at the same time...having near the same time being exposed to Philip Richman's work integrating Jewish & Buddhist practice....I felt motivated to "raise my hand" and offer to teach for them. Although I'm seeking still confirmation the course will be a go, I think it will, and I'm looking forward to this. I'm positively anticipating this for a number of reasons, including these: - the last time I offered a class through them, it was partly prompted by the need to express this combination of insigts in connection to my older son's coming Bar Mitzvah. - this time, the course is being oriented based on the working title: Nondual Judaism through Liturgy...because, although with liturgy in the title we are adding the serious direction of the course that was original with it, now, the nondual aspect does circle back to my younger son, recently a bar mitzah, and so frequently saying he doesn't believe in "G-d." So, with this "reboot," we can hightlight what Michaelson has quoted Reb Zalman as saying...that the G-d you don't believe in is the same G-d I don't believe in. -Essentially, this time, maybe more than previously, we'd like to highlight the intended wholistic approach to the material. It will include meditation, but is not based on that. Instead, we wish to intend to hold the right end of the stick at the outset, setting a clear view, and having the course flow through that.
I got married to Kara Winters. We bought a house together, my first. We just started having serious discussions about conceiving. I'm excited but also nervous about the unknown. I'm grateful to have such a strong support and friend in Kara. She has an incredible spirit and outlook. We are both very strong independent individuals who made a choice to live this life's journey together. Being parents won't be easy. The pregnancy won't be easy. I just hope and pray everyone stays healthy including the baby.
This year I had foot surgery to repair my arch in my right foot. That experiences taught me a lot about over not being lazy and letting a team down. At one point i felt like I could not help my team and stop going to practices, even though ever day they told me to come i did not. Finally on the last game of the season they told me i could not walk on to the field with them. I was angry but latter i realized i deserved that.
My husband lost his job, and my paycheck went from being 1/3 of the family income to all of it. It was a stressful time, still is, trying to find ways to cope with significantly less income. What can we get by without, what do we have to have, how much can we spend on food this week, all became huge questions. I think it was good that my husband lost that job; he disliked it, and they had been trying to find a reason to fire him for over a year (they even wrote him up for not doing things on days that he wasn't scheduled to work)! It gave him a chance to look for something else that would make him happier, even dream a little. It has been hard on me, trying to rein in his spending ("Look at all the great stuff we got from the claw machine at the grocery store! I only spent $10!" he would beam), keep bills paid, and the house together. Luckily, we had enough saved up to get by, but it's been rough. We've even had compliments from (much better off financially) family members on how well we live on a budget. Ha! Little do they know about the tears and struggle to keep it all together...
A man I used to know had a sex-change operation. This was my first experience with a transgendered person. I was so inspired by her courage to go through the long and painful process to, well, become herself. I felt bad that she had to suffer all of those years alone, but am glad she's so happy and at peace now. She is still the exact same person I knew 20 years ago except she's a woman now. I wish I had her courage to change and my issues aren't nearly as big as hers!!
An old friend died suddenly. I miss having someone in my life who's easy to talk with. I need that.
I made some new friends. Elderly folks with so much to offer in experience, knowledge, and camaraderie. After a few weeks of joking and then later, actually trying to realize a fantasy of a live in "slave" to take care of the land and possibly them as well, was dashed by laws and rules. This was a helpful exercise in realizing my purpose. I am now enrolled in Nursing school. I am here to learn, grow and care for others. What is most important in this process, was / is: I did not know I was searching for my purpose. I want to thank my friends for being such lovely humans, without even realizing it!
The most significant experience this year has been getting pregnant! I'm 7 weeks along right now. I'm doing this alone... it was a conscious decision to become a single Mom... I'm 40, and it's something too important to me to risk not being able to have a child. So, I'm so excited! I was very lucky -- it only took 3 months to get pregnant, which is short given the statistics for IUIs and my age. But, of course I'm nervous. It will be a MAJOR change in my life, and it won't be easy. But I am clear why I'm doing this, and am glad I'm taking my life in my own hands and making my dreams come true!
This past year I was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer. At first it was very shocking, but as I worked through it I became more and more grateful- grateful for my health and grateful to really understand what it feels like to hear an inkling of your mortality and grateful for all the love shown to me.
My love life turned upside down, belly up, inside out, then invisible. Now it might be going for something even more nefarious.
This year I loved for the first time since the person I thought I loved when I was 22. I am forever grateful for the affection and attention I received from my new lover. I was broken by a sexless marriage, stress of divorce, immigration, finance and work shit. This person made me feel alive, and for a while became my drug. I loved him for some wrong reasons, and some right ones, but I am also relieved his presence made me realize precisely what and whom I need to feel happy moving forward. The year also saw us go our separate ways, but I have learned a great deal, and would not trade having loved for anything.
The most significant experience of the year so far was being laid off. I knew it was coming, but when it hit I was really freaked out. Now I have to put my money where my mouth is and do the things I said I would do if I had sufficient time and energy. Despite the financial uncertainty, I am grateful to have this time to sit back, breathe and think. I am trying to make the most of this time.
I admitted to myself and others that I am not a cisgendered straight man. I accepted the fact that I am more complicated than that, and that it will take me while to figure out my identity. This admittance and acceptance has been both incredibly liberating and frighteningly overwhelming. I am very happy to be out in the free, but I am finding it very hard to figure myself out.
For years now I’ve volunteered for an organization that gives people an opportunity to stand up in front of a unique audience and share the things that matter to them the most. This past year for the first I stood up and shared on of mine. It was significant for what it meant to me to stand there and lay bare my thoughts and beliefs in front of 400 or so strangers and freeing to know that I CAN do that and still be me.
A schoolmate got murdered. It's been over a month now, and I still cry everytime someone mentions a gun related death. Its just, you hear it happening to other people, but when it is somebody you know, talked to, passed in the hallway.... You'll never get a chance to say hi again to that person.
Being diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer and getting treated. Grateful I live in the 21 century in NYC. More attached to the moment because it makes you aware that you don't know how many more moments you have on earth. Resentful that my mind now has all sorts of medical factoids - pieces of information - but not the whole story. This food has antioxidants, but how much is needed is illusive... Green Tea is good, but are Green Tea capsules as good? How much does changing your diet effect your survival? Inspired to exercise and life a healthier lifestyle even though you can't see the whole picture of what action effects what results.
Without a doubt, the most significant thing that has happened to me in the past year is my move from Chicago to L.A. I am proud of myself for graduating from college and for moving across the country with only a few friends to pursue my dreams and start a new life out here. It definitely forced me to get out of my comfort zone, and I was scared to do it, but I know it was the right thing to do because it has forced me to grow and mature as a person. I would be lying if I said it was all easy, though. It's been really lonely at times, and there are many times when I question what I'm doing, fantasize about moving back or wonder if I picked the right career. However, I am definitely a better and stronger person in many ways, and I am finally finding friends who really understand me and are interested in the same things. It is a constant process, but I'm grateful for the opportunities I've been presented with and I know I will keep improving myself with time.
The most significant experience of this year HANDS DOWN was going away for 6 weeks to Europe which was a dream come true. In one year, I have been to Europe thrice which is mindblowing. I was there last summer for love in London. I went once more for love in March and had an amazing time, roaming in the fresh night air with a professor, gazing up at the Eiffel tower at midnight, going to Juste Debout (more meaningful due to the fact that I discovered it last year with MB and declared that I was going there next year.) Power of speech. I knew I wanted to go to Europe again and this time for longer. It had been a dream of mine to explore the continent, to travel, to discover, to admire, to live, breath and be a European and I was able to do so from June 22 to August 3, 2012. I was even blessed with company from my good friend Cheryl for 2 weeks during which we set on a o(often rocky) adventure nonetheless memorable and treasurable. I had the chance to visit Rome, the magnificent fountain of Trevi and the spectacular Collosseo which took my breath away. Taking this trip solo made me discover and adore who I am, made me a little friendly, a lot ballsier, and convinced that anything is possible in life. God is so so so good. He is supernatural and can make anything and everything happen. I was declined a visa for my second trip to Europe but it was meant to be and there was an override, approving it. This trip has affected me by showing me that I am STRONG, LOVABLE, FRIENDLY, CAPABLE AND ABLE TO ADAPT ANYWHERE, NOT EASILY INFLUENCABLE, KIND, CARING, SELFISH, IMPATIENT AND I truly enjoy my leisure time. I am incredibly grateful at the opportunity, it was a dream come true, relieved that I got to cross an important item off my bucket list, and got to live my life, got to enjoy my summer, got to be free and wild. I am inspired by Europe, live, love, lust, dreams and loneliness. Another significant experience has been to get Lasik surgery in May, 3 weeks after my birthday as it is the best investment I've made in my life. Waking up the next day to HD 20/15 vision was the best feeling in the world, to this day I can not believe the power of sight and feel blessed, absolutely blessed by the Almighty Lord's kindness. Going through with the scary surgery made me scary, in a good way. In a IcandoanythingIwant way, in an unstoppable way. A few other remarkable things that have happened so far this year: Forgiving Amanda - I called her and apologized. Even if it wasn't entirely my fault, I had a part in the way things evolved between us and it's a shame. I cried afterwards, tears of relief. Forgiving MB - My heart is free from the hate, anger, and hurt I beared for him. I loved him and I still love him. Quitting my job - after Europe, I was dreading going back to work, falling into a depression. After about 3 weeks of work, I decided to follow my gut and quit. It's been a week and I couldn't be happier. Going celibate - Sept 14 (Friday) was my 6 months' anniversary. Sex is fantastic, sex with someone you love is everything. I'll wait. Booking a commercial - I shot my 1st commercial with acclaimed directors, producers, talented stylists and makeup artist. I made some connection, I can recognize a few faces in the industry and have learned so much from one booking. God is so good, he proved to me that I could do it, and showed me that I loved doing this. Thank you so much! My monthly monetary donations come from the heart and I can't wait for the day I can go to Africa and do some good there, and spread blessing on others. 2012 is a monumental year. God's favor gives me faith, strength and hope. Life is Love. Live your life.
I graduated from Teacher's College therefore am technically a certified teacher except that I don't actually have a job so decided to go into a Master's program instead and remain broke for yet another year. I am grateful to have parents who are willing to support me emotionally and financially throughout this journey, resentful that most people my age make a lot of money, but inspired that hopefully within a year I'll have the Masters degree I've long yearned for and be applying to jobs in colleges and universities here or around the world.
My husband and I bought our first home. It was unexpected. Unplanned. Terrifying. Amazing. Providencial. We found out last August that, unexpectedly, the rent on our 2 bed/2 bath apartment was increasing by 33%. At first, we thought it was an error and called the office to clarify. For 4 years, our rent had increased at a yearly rate of 3.5%. However, they told us it wasn't an error, and we found ourselves faced with a tough decision. Our lease was due for renewal on the day after Thanksgiving, a traditionally difficult day for us to do anything since my husband works in sales. Naturally, we began to pray and ask our family and close friends for guidance. Without our considering it or bringing it up, each person we asked answered our "What should we do about our rent?" question with this phrase - "Of course you should buy a house." Still unconvinced, we found out quite serendipitously that an acquaintance of ours from church was a mortgage broker. We asked him to help us make a plan to get a home loan, so that we could have a goal to work toward this year. When he got back with us, he told us we qualified for a loan, and that there was a government grant in our state that would pay our downpayment. If we could find a buyer willing to pay closing costs, he mentioned, then perhaps we could get into a house for less than $500 down. We started our home search in October, and closed on our house in December... and we didn't think we could afford a house for another few years! I am grateful and amazed and in shock over the whole experience. I have no other explanation except for God's favor and kindness to us. My husband and I had said, "If we could just *trick* someone into selling us a house, we could afford the payments!" and it feels as if that is exactly what we've done... It has been an amazing experience.
I renewed a positive relationship with my wife of over 30 years, after an extended time of stress and emotional separation. I not only am profoundly grateful to her, but also inordinately relieved our relationship survived intact (after some counseling and mutual work) and now seems heading to an even stronger direction than before. I hope.
Growing closer to my significant other, a wonderful young man (incidentally, not Jewish). It's the first positive romantic relationship I've had, and one of the most emotionally nourishing adventures of my life up to now.
I married my love and became a stepmother. Parenting is absolutely, positively the hardest thing I have ever done. It is challenging in every moment, it has little instant gratification, and there are many opportunities for mistakes, especially as a stepparent. That being said - being a parent is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. The love I feel for the children and the love I feel from them is incredible, powerful, encompassing, and unforgettable. Stepparenting brings many complex emotions that I work through every day, when I'm with the kids and when I'm not, and so there are many feelings I have from being their stepmother, and sometimes those feelings conflict with each other. But the experience is hands down significant and one I wouldn't give up.
It being the red sky of the sun setting on this 16th of September 2012 makes it Erev Rosh Hashana. The beginning of the ten days of awe, the High Holidays for the Jewish Faith. We are to review the past year and admit to our wrong doings and hurtful things we've said to others. We are to admit to these uncomfortable, unfortunate times that occurred during our life and try to understand why it occurred and how it could have been handled in a different, better way. I therefore could spend the full ten days, writing on some things which occurred. However, to be brief, I will start with discussions I had with each of my children. The subject matter was basically the same and had to do with the issues of substance and alcohol abuse and what it is and who has it and what to do about it, and how to handle it. The discussion turned into many different ones at different times and all very serious. The talks were very inspirational and very resentful at the same time. We both had our own side to the stories, but my side was the hardest one for the children to lean on. It totally was a discussion from one side on the table
My mother had surgery to replace her right knee and I spent a month caring for her and supporting her following the surgery. It was emotional for both of us - we didn't know what to expect or how long it would take for her to heal. While I was at her house, I found other ways that she had not been caring for herself and was able to support her to get more ongoing help, as well as cleaning and organizing things in her home for more ease for her. Although it was something of a stretch for me to be away from home and away from my business for so long, it was also a blessing to be able to help with something that was such a charged experience for my mother. I am grateful for her recovery and the huge difference that being able to have the surgery has made in her quality of life. I appreciate having been able to be there for her while she went through the process and I'm also relieved to know that this investment has allowed her to be independent for a much longer time.
My dad moved in with me temporarily after my mom died. I feel grateful of the time we have spent together and lucky for beautiful way our relationship has grown. Feels like a little bit of a silver lining to the cloud of my mom's death. Like a gift.
When my newly born son was 4 week old, he had a heart attack in my wife's arms. We immediately called emergency services and performed CPR with the help of our very good friends that happened to be visiting us at the time. The emergency services arrived 5 minutes later and had to shock him out of the dangerous rhythm. During that night he received a total of 11 shocks during 3 different episodes before the amazing medical team at the Royal Children's Hospital in Melbourne put him on an ECMO machine. Over the space of the next 7 weeks the team work tirelessly to diagnose his overlying condition without success. We decided that the best course of action was to fit our son with an ICD in order to catch any possible future episodes should they occur. The range of emotions that we have been through in the past 2 months is too great to describe but I will say that I'm incredibly thankful to be surrounded by such amazing family, friends and medical professionals that have helped us keep our son alive. People are the most valuable thing on this earth and you should count yourself truly blessed to know and love those that love and respect you in return.
The most significant experience is that insecurity and unease with uncertainty have substantially subsided in my professional and personal life. It's nothing that can be pegged to a specific experience or event, but I feel it's significant progress and want to acknowledge it. I am grateful--I've grown confident that I am resourceful and blessed with a varied community that will allow the best possible outcome in the face of uncertainty.
I turned 40 in March and I had a really difficult time. I was not ready to accept that what I wanted and dreamed of for myself had not happened. I was not married, I had no kids (with neither of these things likely to ever happen). I was sad and depressed. My friends gave me a surprise party. It was great. Actually, when I look back on it, it was exactly what I needed. I may not have the husband and children that I have always dreamed of having, but I do have very good friends who really care for and about me. Thank you to all my friends. I could not have made it through that difficult time without you.
This has been a year of both highs and lows, though perhaps the lowest point was finding out my brother overdosed. The worst part wasn't seeing my brother lying in the hospital bed, but meeting my parents outside the hospital for the first time. Watching them walk out to me, I had no idea what to say to ever make things better.
I have become fully committed to living a positive, happy, healthful lifestyle. I was able to finally internalize the concept that that I alone am responsible for my happiness. I engage in gratifying activities that I can do on my own so I no longer care that I have no companions. And then, Viola!, I began to attract and accept friendly overtures. I decided to verbalized and recognize more gratitude and I have found so much more for which to feel grateful. I am so happy and grateful and proud of myself for my transformation made possible by examining my life while living in Maui!!
I guess I'd like to mention two big things; one that happened a while ago and one very recently. Last fall, I started my new job. I've been very grateful for this job; I feel that I fit in, I feel that my work is appreciated, and I feel that I can have an impact. My job is not perfect; I don't have as advanced students as I'd like, and I'm still trudging through the tenure track. But on a daily basis, I am happy and I appreciate the challenge. More recently, Aaron and I have gotten pregnant. We are ecstatic . . . and I am much more worried than I expected to be. My main worry right now has to do with Canavan; we recently discovered that I'm a carrier of Canavan disease, and we're waiting to hear about Aaron. I'm also worried that we didn't see a heartbeat at the first ultrasound (at about 6 weeks). I expected to be more happy and excited, but I'm spending a lot of my time right now worrying about possible bad outcomes.
Last year this time I was in Chicago emailing with the woman who would later be my partner (and I say this with a deep feeling of love and excitement). Having no idea what the future would hold or if we would even be meeting when I got back to LA. It was a fun and fanciful and enchanting courtship that would ensue in the coming months. Remembering the feelings that would well up inside my body and soul when I stepped to her door and knocked, seeing her beautiful smile and the openness with which she embraced me....the same smile and embrace that I encountered on the first afternoon we met that I was utterly entranced and deeply opened by. The beginnings....almost one year later and so many times of being broken open and asked to grow and be the people that our souls are calling out for us to be in this moment....and there is not one moment that I would do differently. I have been afforded the opportunity to be supported and loved and opened my eyes to the limitlessness of who we are and what we are to become when our souls are gently nudged to speak our truth. And for this I am incredibly grateful, and inspired by her ever day I wake up and look into her eyes. Thank you.
2012 has been an amazing year. I'm pretty much fully out of the closet now. I got a new job and we're moving to a new house next week. It's been a great year, though. Her mom moved up here in March(ish) and it's been great having her here and getting to know her - and her and Angel rebuilding their relationship, too. I miss seeing my mom all the time, but we're planning on doing at least once-monthly family dinners so we can all get closer, which is something I'm WAY looking forward to.
While serving in the Peace Corps, I had to transfer from my small village to a larger town. It was very painful, given that it had become my home, but I wasn't having any impact - at least not the one I wanted. The school I worked at had a terrible environment, and I had to leave before I became someone awful. I feel everything about this move: regret over not having finished there, relief about being somewhere new where I am already making a difference, angry about what happened, afraid for the future but still hopeful. I still don't know how it impacted me in the long run.
When I got to travel to the US for the first time and meet the people at Zappos. What I realized that there will always be a better place even when I'm at a place that I thought was great. I now feel that it's about appreciating the now and taking action towards the possibilities. I followed that and it's getting better and better day by day.
Once again, I found myself dealing with a long stretch of unemployment and this time it lead me to move to a new state. This is sadly been a common theme over the last 3 years and I hope this more drastic action of selling everything, loading myself and the dog into the car and headed south to California is a step toward preventing it for years to come. The weather has affected my mood in a very positive way, the gloom of the pacific northwest was not helping the rest of my rather depressing situation. My personal life has improved, and if I can just turn one of the many, many job interviews I've managed to go on in the last 4 months into a job, I think all of this will be for the best. I am a little resentful that I had to leave a city I choose to go to because I wanted to live there, but I am starting to love my new city too. I think this has been a positive change overall, and I am grateful for everything that I have, even when it isn't very much.
I broke up with my boyfriend in June. Mainly because he wanted to have kids, I’m scared of giving birth, he didn't want to adopt and I'm unsure if I really want kids. His anxiety made me too worried about what the future would bring. We were too different he wasn't political, we didn’t share the same values. I worry I made the wrong mistake. I wish that it would have worked out but I know we're different. I am relieved now that I can try to find the right person for me. I'm starting to date women and men again. I’m grateful for the family and friends that I have who supported me through the breakup. I'm also starting to look at buying a Condo so well see what happens, if I can really make that kind of commitment. I’m grateful that I was able to go to Australia and Hawaii, that I was invited to present at the conference, and that my article got published in an Australian journal. I’m constantly inspired and looking to see how I’ll change the world.
Ten months ago, I was in the worst possible mental state that I had ever experienced up until that point. I was depressed, manic, unstable, volatile, angry, miserable and sad. I had sunk so low that I had to be admitted into a psych ward to try to help my state of mind. I was there for a week until I was released, but even after being there, I was still in a terrible state. On December 31st 2011, I made a new years resolution to become happy and start living a brand new and healthy life physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Improvements were very slow to start since I was still reluctant to change my old habits and ways, but over many months I started to make progress. By July, I had improved so much physically since I had dropped about 50 pounds from weighing 240 pounds, but I needed to continue improving the other three parts of me. Fast forward to today, 9/16/2012, I have maintained a healthy weight and even dropped a few more pounds and drastically improved my emotional, mental and spiritual well being with the much appreciated help of my family, friends and my therapist. As I write my response to this first question, I think back to the lowest point of my life and feel happy that such a thing happened. That terrible experience was the catalyst that started me on this self improvement path that I currently travel and will continue to do for the rest of my life. I am grateful to have experienced such a terrible time in my life so I can reflect back on how much I have grown since then. I'll never forget that low point in my life, and I'll never stop improving my total well being. That's a promise to myself that I plan to keep.
My husband was diagnosed with a rare brain disorder that is in the dementia arena. This has made me learn quickly about the brain and how to be a caregiver. There are times that I am resentful, but mostly I am angry and lost. I grieve for someone that is still here physically and no longer the same person I have known for 25 years. It has been an all consuming journey that I never signed up for, and it is quickly becoming a marathon with no end in sight.
My screenplay was picked as a finalist in the Shriekfest 2012 festival. I'm anxious for the announcement of the winner in October, and excited about the accolade regardless.
it is hard to pick just one thing that was significant that happened over the past year. perhaps the most significant thing was that i noticed the lump in my breast. and then i got some external support and did something about it. being 26 years old and discovering a lump and being paralyzed with fear is one thing, but i feel like that experience - every single moment - the doctor appointments, the biopsies, the mammogram and eventually, the surgery, and everything in between was eye-opening. i was relieved that it wasn't cancer. resentful that at the same time i was experiencing my own uncertainty with my health, a dear colleague lost her own battle with cancer. i learned from the experience the value of not letting fear paralyze me. inaction isn't worth it. it isn't worth missing out on something small and it isn't worth possibly losing your life. and it is not just true of a health scare. as a result of that scary and strange experience, i feel grateful that i can move forward with a sense of purpose. that i deserve to take care of my own health, that i can and should be an advocate for myself first. i'm ready to take more risks and push myself.
I had my baby girl! When I got pregnant after 9 years of trying in 2011, I thought March would never come. But it did and I have a beautiful 6 month baby girl to show for it. She amazes me every day.
My father passing away was one of the most significant -- if not the most significant -- experiences not only of the past year, but of my entire life. It affected me much more than I expected, physically, mentally and spiritually. It was both mentally gruelling and emotionally draining. While I was happy that he was no longer suffering, and I suppose also "happy" that my mother and other members of my family could be relieved of some of the stress and pain relating to caring for him, it was devastating not to have him to see, touch, hear, smell, feel, talk to. I immediately missed him and continue to feel an absence in my life daily when I think of him. I am grateful that he is at peace but, selfishly perhaps, not grateful at all that he is gone. I miss him and everything about him.
Broke up with Nappo on Easter week... I'm grateful and relieved. It has shaped me... and is still shaping me into the person I am. Without it I would not have realised my passion to do self-esteem work with young girls... without it I would not have realised my issues with EMOTIONAL boundaries. Without it I would never have been able to admit that I was such a doormat before and that I was so dependent on others. It did catalyze some pretty dumb mistakes... people I've messed around with from my neediness and physical frustrations... and from a desire to get back at Nappo. But I feel like from that I'm gradually learning to be complete in my own identity. I'm learning that God is enough.
I attended the "To the Home of Peace" retreat at Ghost Ranch in July. Describing the experience is hard. It was 20-someodd young adults in their 20s and 30s, mostly from some form of Christian background, coming together for a week in the New Mexico high desert to learn about the interconnectedness of creation. "Camp Cross for adults" comes close to explaining it, if you grew up going to Camp Cross like I did. But it was so much richer... we explored numerous faith traditions, the brokenness of our world, tenets of simplicity and peacemaking, and quite frankly the meaning of life. The music, the people... I wish the whole world could live in authentic community like this. We are all neighbors. Why is this so hard to live out? The experience continues to affect me in ways unseen.Transformative, inspiring, relieving, frightening, overwhelming. Sharing the week with my husband was wonderful, satisfying, powerful. "We're all in this together." My time at Ghost Ranch served to confirm and deepen many truths and beliefs I already held, but hadn't really explored or wrestled with. I am forever thankful and will keep trying to incorporate the most basic of truth into my daily life.
I changed jobs. It was a significant decision because I had made some very significant friendships at work, and I believed deeply in what my (former) employer was doing. However, I had grown stagnant in my position and no longer felt passionate my work. I was apprehensive at first, but it truly was the best decision I could have made. And, the friendships have carried on, which is quite a blessing.
I attended Part 1 of Meisner Actor Teaching Training with Larry Silverberg in Oregon over the summer. It was one of the two best creative experiences I've ever had in my life and I will be forever grateful for the experience of working with Larry and with 30 of the most amazing people ever. Some of those people have become an ENORMOUS part of my life, central to my creative and emotional support system. They are family to me. I'm so grateful and inspired. It has changed me as a person and as an artist.
For the first time ever, I have started an exercise regimen that is completely self-motivated (i.e. not a P.E. class). I started running, following a couch-to-5k program in mid-June. It's now mid-September, and I have gone running 38 times, which means I have run nearly three times a week for three months. This is a huge accomplishment for me, as I have been gradually getting more and more out of shape as I get older. I have wanted for so long to feel healthy, and now I finally feel like I'm on the right path.
Going to the Olympics and the Paralympics were two days that were among the best days of my life. I feel so lucky that I was able to go to this event in my own country. As someone who'd never been to a sporting event of any size before, it was amazing. Watch sportspeople before the best of their abilities was fantastic. As someone who's not very patriotic, it made me a little proud that my country, that quite often does itself down, could organise such a major event so successfully. It's inspired, if not to take part in sports, to watch more sports.
Both of my graduate advisors - mentors and friends - died within months of each other over the last year. It was not unexpected, yet incomprehensible. I felt alone - adrift - almost orphaned. When the first one died, I kept having recurrences of shock - because he would have normally been the one I'd contact to get through a such difficult time, so every time I thought of reaching out for help I was confronted with his death all over again. How did it affect me? I find I divide the past into "before" and "after" - THAT was when they were alive, and well, and fun, and happy, when I took such support for granted. NOW is much lonelier. I know how insanely lucky I was - to have not one, but two inspiring teachers - and that keeps me working. But the grief isn't over yet - and the real hurdles will come in the next year, professionally, when I'll feel like I'm stepping naked out into the world without the backup that's given me confidence for so long. I'm just a little bit - I hesitate to use a positive word, but excited, inspired, feeling that frisson of energy one gets before a big test - like "OK, I'm READY to step out naked into the world. Sure. I can do this. I've had great teachers." As if I'm the grown-up now. But the cost of that is a huge, empty hole in the world....and no one to say "yeah, you've done it. You're good." God, I miss them.
I took over a service club at school. It made me feel grown up and professional. Like I'm finally on the right path to being a legitimate adult. It has also made me nervous though because it's a big responsibility.
My stepmother almost died from an intestinal blockage. We were visiting her for her 70th birthday, and she ended up in the hospital instead of her party. My relationship with her has always felt somewhat tenuous, yet extremely important, even more so since my father died. I was so scared that she wouldn't make it, and it made me really want to keep in touch with my family better than I have been. I was grateful that I was there, so I could do whatever I could for her. I was also grateful that my stepsister and stepbrother were in town, and that we could support each other. I have grown closer to my stepsiblings as a result, and I am extremely grateful for that. I am relieved that my stepmother is okay. And I am inspired to make sure that other members of my family are doing what they need to do near the end of their lives.
I opened myself to several experiences, which combined to show me how powerful movement is -- how it has the capacity to literally move energy, and to heal. I understand on a deep level now how we hold experiences in our bodies, and all the "shrinkage" in the world can't make it go away. We have to cleanse our minds AND our bodies. I have deep, deep gratitude for learning this lesson.
Adam met a lovely Jewish girl. Life is renewed.
I've begun to discover my freedom. Recently separated from my wife of 23 years, I now have a new sense of freedom in my life. At first I was sad but now, as I explore who I am, I'm getting inspired.
I had a breakthrough! Between Passover and Pentecost we counted the Omer (giving thanks for what God has provided) for 50 days. I have been watching Chuck Pierce's church online and getting their newsletters, etc. He encouraged us to count the Omer and pray for a breakthrough by Pentecost. I got my IPad in April and started counting calories. It has helped me overcome the constant condemnation I put myself under for years about my weight. I have lost about 12 -14 lbs and feel so energetic. I have cut down my portions and my sugar intake. I finally feel like I have parameters and boundaries in this area. Even if I blow it, I get right back on. Another breakthrough is with my son! He has pooped in his pants since 3 years old. He is 12! God gave us very reasonable tuition at a school in the Heights for camp during June (for Mark.) Dr. Manning gave us/me free counseling as part of the camp time. Anyway, I was helped tremendously, encouraged to get tough and take away all electronics when he pooped in his pants. He responded! Not immediately, but significantly. Anyway, these are awesome testimonies believe me!
Decided to move on with my world
My biological father stopped talking to me. It's made me realize I need to put my hope and confidence in God, not mere people. also, no matter how people act, your actions have to be up to Gods standards, not peoples.
During this last year I started taking my swimming a bit more seriously. In April I competed in my first real swim meet and did 6 events over 3 days. It was awesome! The friends I've made through swimming are amazing. And by giving in a bit to the competition side of it, I'm acknowledging and allowing the possibility that I may fall short. Which is hard for me to do. So far, I haven't been dq'd and my times are getting faster. I even conquered the 400 IM with my lanemates Sherryand Anita. Sure, I got beat by a 60+ year old, but I won my age division (out of two...) but more importantly, I am competent enough at all the strokes to even attempt it. That's a long way from refusing to learn fly and breast stroke as I deemed them "irrelevant."
This year, I lost regional N'siah. It impacted me in a very big way because it was my dream to be that position. I now learn and understand that BBYO isn't everything and quite frankly, i am better off focusing on my schoolwork, and on the things that really matter. Although BBYO is my passion, i am relieved that I lost because it taught me a lot about who i am and what my priorities should be.
My husband began training seriously for major cycling events ... on top of his work and other commitments. It forced me to cover more of the bases at home and with our son on my own than I had been. It continues for force me to think about what is important to me. I try not to be resentful, but I ame ... I cherish the time with our son, but still struggle with how much I take on (in addition to my full-time job) to enable him to pursue his passion. I don't even have time to figure out what a really want to pursue as a passion, much less the time to pursue it. I need to let go of the resentment, but I'm finding it difficult.
The most significant thing that has happened to me this past year is getting pregnant. I was prepared that it would take a long time to get pregnant both b/c of my age and my weight. I got pregnant on our first try. I was shocked and worried that the pregnancy wouldn't hold- but it did. I'm now 21 weeks pregnant, i've passed the half way point.
This year I discovered God by reading Martin Buber. It was significant to me because I have always struggled with my relationship with God. But Buber taught me that God was right where I was standing. I needed to know where I was and be present to the place and moment and God would be waiting for me..I was so grateful for the acknowledgement that I, too, am good enough to have God watching over me. It has inspired me to access God in many moments of my life. As I left for services tonight i definitely did not feel alone - only grateful for all who are in my life and for once not seeking the one that may not. Thank you God for teaching me that I am loved and cared for no matter what.
I left my job - my first real adult job, one that I had for four and a half years - at the end of June. I am normally a nostalgic person and tend to infuse such milestone events with great meaning, to use them as a time for reflection and inspiration. I knew I was leaving for a year beforehand, and I expected that when the day finally came, I would feel quite sad to be leaving. And I DID feel sad - but not because I was leaving. I felt sad because I was RELIEVED and HAPPY to be leaving. I invested a lot of myself into this job - it was a job that I wasn't particularly qualified for, and the learning curve had been steep. But I had come to gain some level of respect from colleagues and people who I interacted with. Then, in the last nine months of my time there, I came face-to-face with a new boss, with new expectations, and all of that fragile confidence I had built up came crumbling down. I was made to feel like a failure - threatened with losing my job on more than one occasion, being talked about behind my back, generally being regarded as dragging down the organization. Maybe some of this was in my head - but it just made me feel worthless. On vacation with my boyfriend just a month before my last day, I broke down and sobbed uncontrollably for fifteen minutes, letting all the stress and unhappiness flow out in bitter tears. I had never truly loved my job - it was always a conflicted relationship - but now I dreaded going into the office each morning. I liked what I did; I hated the environment that I had to do it in. So when I left, I just cut myself off completely, only continuing to communicate with one co-worker who I had become friends with. I pushed it so far into my past that it feels like it happened decades ago, even though it's been less than three months since I left. It still makes me sad to think about - I just hope that time really does heal all wounds, and I'll finally be left with the nostalgia I so hoped for.
I graduated from nursing school, won a grant to return to India and complete a project I have been working on for 5 years and am currently on a trip to New zealand that I won as a result. I am taking the first steps on my new adventure! Life doesn't end at 60, sometimes it just turns the page.
My brother died in his apartment. He had been dead got several days before he was found. I am relieved that he wasn't hospitalized for a long time. He wasn't easy to deal with. I am sad for the way he died and the way he lived.
I think the most significant thing that happened to me this past year is that I have become right-sized and as a result I am learning how to have a life. Changing my food has changed my life, I don't just sit in a corner and watch everybody else having a life anymore. Today I am learning to have a life of my own and I have YHVH in my life. It's amazing. It's inspired. It's becoming imaginative. I believe that I am learning to get out of my own way and am becoming the person that YHVH always intended. And mostly I'm really grateful, I think when I'm grateful I'm in the right place.
My dad was found dead a few days ago. This experience has made me feel waves of emotions. It is so hard. I broke down when I found out. I live in Seattle, and the rest of my family is in Los Angeles, so I found out over the phone at work from my sister. Broke down and started crying, sobbing,... Disbelief... Still lingering in denial. Stunned. Though I do have peace. There is this beautiful comfort that I have with him around me. He is my guide now. He surrounds me, and sends me cools winds. I hear his voice. I bask in the memory of him. He is my pillar of strength even in his death. Though he was only 52 he had a fulfilling life, and my sister and I are a big part of that fulfillment. I rage, accept, project, accept, deny, accept, cry in disbelief, accept... It is with acceptance that I find my peace, and he has guided me to accept it and to my peace. He inspires me even from the other side. I miss him. I love him.
My eldest son finished university; came home for a week; packed up; moved to Peterborough to start a job. I am proud of and happy for him.
I thought myself into the deepest depression of my life. I started sliding in early March, and by summer was nearly suicidal. I tried reaching out to someone I thought was a still close friend and wound up losing him entirely. The world lost luster. Sunlight became almost painful. I spent a lot of time in bed in a dark room. I lost time with my kids, and wasted much of the summer. After what seemed like a Herculean effort, I saw my doctor to get a more effective antidepressant (embarrassingly, I broke down in tears in her exam room), and finally made an appointment with a therapist. I still have low days, and on occasion feel the sensation of being pulled down into darkness, but I have mostly fallen back into my own life now. It helps to be working-- less time to stay trapped in my own head. For the sake of my children, I need to stay watchful, and get help at the first sign of more serious trouble.
I was 17, and I experienced a courtship. It is the most merry thing that has happened to me till date, and most long-awaited thing. It just overturned my state-of-affairs completely. From depression and frustration to tons of happiness, it was just a damn happy phase of my life. It sure did make me more responsible. Finally, I could go out in the world with a knowledge that I could pursue the truth without being afraid of the world coz I had someone by my side forever. I am not sure if that was due to this experience, but as the fuzziness in my mind got cleared, I seemed to have lost some part I liked too. Yes, I am grateful it happened. It got me more down to the earth. And I finally can now do things without any further company, I don't feel alone. Yep, I am relieved it happened, coz given my innate extreme curiousness at that time, it was bound to happen shortly in time. By getting into that experience, I inherited a belief of egalitarianism. I don't know if it is better this way or by being neutral to egalitarianism and then question it. But I think egalitarianism never harmed anyone, so yes, I was inspired in a way..:)
I finally finished a 3 year relationship I which I hadn't been happy for almost two years! Seems silly it took me so long...there are reasons, same as previous relationship, I hoped things would improve, they didn't, I was quite depressed, didn't really blame the relationship for feeling tat way. Anyway, I ended the relationship and I am feeling so much better...the world has opened up for me once again. So how has it affected me...well, I am happier and more in control of my life and drinking less and free to be me again, which is delightful! So, I am relieved and I hope I learn from this not to put up with situations and relationships thT do not bring me joy...that means I need to have good insight into what is causing me to feel happiness, distress etc rather than blame on other things.
I moved to Australia this year. I really moved out on my own. I've lived all over the United States but I stepped farther away than anyone in my family ever has. I left for love, for hope, for dreams and, really, for me.
I started off the year suffering depression but since then ive come a really long way and am finally happy with my life and where its taking me. Its inspired me to want to study physology next year
I got engaged! I am: excited to move forward. Nervous that we're not "ideal" for each other. Stressed by wedding planning. Still doubting whether we should have this stupid thing in the US where it's crazy expensive. Happy that we're devoted to each other and to making our lives wonderful. Reassured because he tells me all the time he loves me, just the way I am, and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Frustrated we miscommunicate so often after 4 years. But we are working on it and I see progress. Every short-lived argument and every time one of us stands down after just 5 minutes - we're doing well.
I decided to end my marriage. It's been a huge, life changing event. Trying and exhausting and overwhelming in moments, but overall I feel relieved and that I believe it was the right decision.
My father-in-law died. He was a joyful man who put a smile on everyone's face when he spoke. He was diagnosed with advanced cancer after going to the doctor for something completely unrelated. He passed within 2 months. I was glad his death wasn't so sudden and that we all had time to spend with him to transition to the loss, although it was still very hard. I didn't have the opportunity to spend time with my own father during his final years, let alone his final months or days and I still carry a lot of pain and guilt about that. The time I spent with my father-in-law helped relieve some of those feelings, that I've carried with me for over 30 years because I feel that my own father died unsure of my deep love for him. My father-in-law and I were able to communicate clearly our affection and respect for one another. I felt closure in this relationship that was important to me. It softed the guilt about not having been able to accomplish that with my own father due to physical distance and my youth and immaturity. The relief I felt from not procrastinating with my father-in-law has allowed me to be more expressive in all of my personal relationships - more in the moment, because it might be our last conversation.
Michelle. And graduating. Both of these have been amazing and really positive experiences for me. I hope they continue to be.
In this past year, I made the brave and confronting decision to leave my partner of 15 years in search of a happier life (for us both). It was the hardest decision I've ever made and it was the right thing to do. I was surprised to learn that I could find the courage to do what was right, when for so many of the choices in my life to date I had felt limited and constrained by the possible perception and opinions of other people. I am thankful that I found the strength I didn't know I had, to follow through on this choice and to live a new path. I know in my heart that it was the right decision, and that choosing this path has also helped me realise that to be truly happy, one cannot live by the expectations of others; you must be true to oneself. I hope this courage carries over into other choices as I step out on this new path.
I got pregnant. It wasn't ever supposed to happen. I had the most effective form of birth control-- an IUD. He and I were only two months in to our relationship. We decided, together, that we shouldn't keep it. That we couldn't promise it a good life, simply because we were so new, we weren't sure we were right together for the long term. I don't think I ever voiced this to him for fear of offending his chivalrous nature, but I also knew I couldn't support it by myself if he and I split. The effect was profound. Before this point, I wasn't really sure I wanted kids. I didn't know I didn't, but I also didn't have the certainty and desire for it that some of my friends did. But being pregnant with one I couldn't keep, I realized that I did want it, someday. That knowledge is deeply powerful, like a tidal current turning. While I haven't changed my day to day self, my long term goals and planning have shifted. I'm happy to have found more direction and purpose. Though it still scares me sometimes. He and I are still together, six months later. A situation like that really shows you a person's true colors, and the typical relationship concerns that can come up seem silly in comparison. I think he and I are both hopeful that we can get to the point where we can try it again, and do it right the second time around.
A lot of things have made me feel more confident in my continuing humanist side, which I'd been really shaky about last year. I've been doing a bunch of writing and editing and keeping up with this DuoLingo thing (although neglecting my Latin and Greek ...), and most of all I managed to navigate surprisingly well in Germany despite my totally negligible knowledge of German. So that was great - it makes me feel much more like myself about it. Perhaps by this time next year I will have a half-decent draft of one of those novels. I'm growing more persistent, and it makes me happy. I think trashy romance novel draft isn't a totally unreasonable goal.
My father had a major car accident and has not been able to walk without assistance since February. It really makes me aware of how fragile life can be. He was just going to the grocery store and someone ran a red light. He was in the hospital for months and now still uses a wheelchair or walker most of the time. My father has always been so active that it has been hard to watch him struggle to get around. It is really frustrating for him and it is difficult to know what to do to make it easier for him.
This year, I moved to another city in another state that I had only been to once. I felt good about it. Nervous and kind of scared, but also excited. Until my partner's negative feelings and her bad luck started to rub off on me. Now I feel resentful of her and I'm questioning my decision to move here. I don't know if I regret moving so much as I regret moving with her.
Last October I injured my knee, and it has made a huge difference in many things...one, I stopped exercising, and reached the highest weight I've ever been. Two, I had to postpone my surgery because my blood pressure had also reached an all time high. After the surgery, I wallowed in pain and gloom, until one day my doctor told me I'd heal faster if I lost weight. Since then, I have exercised, eaten better, and focused on living healthier...and have lost 25 pounds, almost four inches in my waist, and my blood pressure is the lowest it's been in thirty years.
Living in London, stuck with no money, alone. Going through hard times while in school in such a rich place was a new one for me. I had to get by on very little for the first time in my life. It was an experience for me. I appreciate everything a little more now.
One experience this past year was taking my Dad to one of his chemo appointments. I felt like I needed to do this, at least once. The appointments are usually during the day, and I live 130 miles from him. I'm grateful I was able to take him, and I felt like we connected more. As he makes it through his illness, I'll always know that I did this, and made it easier in my own way. He was very grateful.
I started working on my thesis this year. I was focusing, in the beginning at least, on the depression I'd felt since I was much younger, and in order for me to understand it I had to first confront it. I began talking openly about my struggles with constant depression and frequent suicidal ideations. Of course this wound up ending a few really great friendships for a variety of reasons, but it's been for the best overall. I feel like I'm finally in recovery and I feel like I don't need help like i did. I tried counseling once or twice, but found that it wasn't for me. Instead, I've been focusing on myself and on eradicating this disease which I think has been working. I've been feeling better for months and no signs of suicidal ideation have returned!
I became pregnant and decided to give the baby up for adoption. It has changed me in so many ways. It has opened my eyes to the struggles of people facing the hardships and heartbreak infertility and adoption. I feel completely grateful for not only what I have, but also that I actually had the opportunity to be a birth mother and help people become parents. It was without a doubt one of the most rewarding things I have ever done in my life. It taught me both compassion and humility. While there was a certain amount of pain, it was mostly pleasure and peace. And I wouldn't have done it differently for anything in the world. I am honored to have had this experience in my life.
I fell in love. It's an amazing feeling, love. I feel inspired to do more things, try new things, go to surprising places. I'm more determined to finish school, to do something with my life, to find a career. I couldn't be more happy with my life right now and I'm forever grateful to my boyfriend for helping me see the beauty in life.
I broke up with my boyfriend after leaving the psyche ward. At the time I was devastated, but now I am a strong, healthy, independent woman. I still hold some resentment and think about him more often than I like. Mostly I just hope he found the happiness he wanted, and i'm excited for the future.
My back was significantly injured in May. I don't know why it was injured, but I had spasms that required an ambulance ride and an emergency room visit, and I've been struggling off and on with pain ever since. Lately it's been more good than bad, which is an amazing feeling. It made me be more aware of my body, and more aware of what I take for granted. Not being able to bend over to put water in the dog's dish, tie my shoes, etc. has been an incredible challenge. I've also realized how physically and mentally tiring pain can be - I used to not be able to get through the day without a nap in the work wellness room. Now I'm really thinking about what affect my weight has, not just on my heart and cholesterol, but on the whole frame of my body. I know that movement helps me a TON...it really is so much more effective to keep your body limber, and too much rest can hurt more than it can help. I'm standing at my desk 4 hours a day instead of sitting the whole time, and I'm making efforts to move every day if possible - even just walks helps me a ton. I'm not glad this happened, as it's really an awful experience and I don't know how long it will last or what to do to fix it, but I'm trying to take it and make the best of it, to help me make positive changes moving forward.
I was caught in a media scandal between my main freelance employer and the Metropolitan Opera, a scandal that was exposed by the New York Times. When the article ran, amid a lot of conflicting messages from both sides of the equation, I found out that I had been thrown under the bus by the president of my radio station. I felt very raw at the time—confused, angry, upset, betrayed—and unsure of who to trust going forward. I felt as a journalist that every time I did something right, everyone took the credit for it, but whenever something I did failed, I was the one left alone in the room to take full blame and responsibility. I thought about leaving the industry entirely. But, eventually, I began to look at the situation with some distance and have since begun to find a way to have a fulfilling career without being miserable all the time. I hope that'll lead to me becoming a more self-possessed person.
It's sad, but there was no stand-out significant event in the past year - I've had good and bad moments, but none that have really affected me to a point that I think is considerable.
I had a miscarriage. Out of the choices grateful, relieved, resentful and inspired...I would have to choose resentful. I'm resentful of my body for not working right, I'm resentful of my husband for taking a job offer from a friend that caused me to be extremely stressed out during the pregnancy. I'm just angry and annoyed that it happened...that it has to happen. Now I'm pregnant again and I worry about everything. Pregnancy isn't the same, its not fun or happy or exciting. It sucks. I'm just worried that something is going wrong or that something out of all the tons of things that can go wrong, will. I hate having to wonder and wonder for 9 months if something horrible will happen.
I met a girl I adored who was perfect. She was a fun person to be with, constantly donning a sweet smile. One day she brought up a conversation, essentially saying that I'd become distant, not affectionate and she felt like she barely knew me any more. I never realised any of this. I thought we were fine up until then. And then I realised, she was right. I slowly fell out of love with her and I have no idea why. I like this girl, I really do. But I just don't feel anything. I've become so emotionally detached with my surroundings and people that I don't know if there's something wrong with me. There probably is, I'm guessing. I have no idea how to feel any more. I don't know what it's like to be truly happy. I don't know what it's like to love. Sure, I can laugh. I can still cry. I feel pain. But most of all, I feel empty and it's something I still feel to this day.
My father had a heart attack in August 2012. It made me realize how much improvement I can make in the quality of my life - both physically and emotionally. I started by committing to exercise regularly - to really, for good, lose that 10lbs and maybe a few more - and to eat the healthy whole foods that are good for me, to try not to supplement with prepared foods. I also recognized the importance of acknowledging my relationships often, to make sure I do not get "too busy" to reach out to my family and friends and to keep my relationships at the front of my to-do list.
I ended an on-again, off-again relationship that had hurt me twice, and refused to go back when she came calling once again. We live in the same city now, but I have yet to contact her (I let her know that if we were ever to be involved again, it would be my decision, and asked her to respect that wish. So far, she has). I sometimes think about her (OK, I think about her a lot), but it made me much more secure and confident in my own worthiness, as far as sex and relationships go. In general, I'm no longer afraid to be exactly who I am, and to make no compromises when it comes to the people I consider close to me.
This past April, I attended a 10-day silent meditation course to learn an ancient meditation technique, called Vipassana, which Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha, used to achieve nirvana. During the course, you live in near complete isolation. You turn in your phone, electronics and car keys and are not allowed to read, write, listen to music, do any kind of exercise except walking, engage in religious rites of any kind or even look people in the eye. All you can do is sleep, meditate, eat and shower. On Day 5 or 6, we were encouraged to practice meditation in our movements. To be constantly aware of what was happening with our bodies. When we retired to our rooms that night, for about three to five minutes, as I was brushing my teeth and changing my clothes, I felt the spectacular reality of what it was like to truly live in the present moment. In these mundane actions, I felt more alive than I ever have been. Not even skydiving at 21 or gazing upon a million twinkling stars could compare to the beauty of that truth. For a few minutes, I felt the world exactly as it should be.
Once again I saw both major political parties go through shams of nominating presidential candidates. I feel downtrodden a little because it almost makes one think that electiing someone is going through the motions, and electing someone meaningful is almost impossible. On the inspiring side, I saw where the voice of the people and petitioning in Maryland resulted in at least two referendum questions going on the Maryland ballot in November and telling the state legislature that the PEOPLE need to be able to decide what is right and good.
The most positive significant experience of the past year was marrying Anne. 9/25/11 was a wonderful day, being surrounded by our friends and family. I was so grateful for their love and support, and the commitment I made to Anne, as we worked our way through this very difficult year. I feel grateful to have had the opportunity to marry her and to have the love of our families, and hopeful as we work towards our future together. The most negative significant experience this year was Anne's depression and OCD, culminating in her suicide attempt, hospitalization, and leave from work. It sucked but I think we are getting through it and coming out on the other side! Her time off has allowed her to hit the reset button on her life, and I hope that she will be moving forward with finding a career and making a relationship that she values and enjoys in the months ahead.
I've recommitted to my relationship with my wife. I'm so grateful for our partnership and her strong influence on our development.
The most significant experience has been our move to Sisters. I am very grateful and relieved (only one house note). Hard process, and miss all our friends, but hope springs eternal that we will make more friends here and settle in.
I had the twins! It was the most out of this world experience EVER. I cannot believe 11 months has gone by already and some days I want to do it all over again (most days!) I am SO SO SO thankful for their health and the joy they bring to David and I every single day. I love my family so much.
I decided to leave my graduate adviser with a Masters instead of a PhD and found a new PhD adviser. While this has been a wonderful change, it also means I will be moving across the country next month which I am nervous/sad/excited/stressed about right now.
I have always been very close to my father and a little over a year ago, he moved out of state. It has been an adjustment not being able to just pop over and see him. Earlier this year he had a stroke. Getting the call was horrible. In that brief second before the info came, I did not know how serious it was. I was grateful to learn it was minor. He worked hard and got full mobility, speech, etc back. I was relived he was ok. I was scared because you get to a certain age and know that the inevitable is coming and there is nothing we can do about it. It has inspired me to call more, laugh more, love more.
This year, I moved with my family from Dallas, TX to Silicon Valley. After the craziness of packing, planning, and prepping, when the day came, I was unprepared for the emotions that hit me as we pulled out of Mom and Dad's driveway. I still miss them a lot, and I miss having a network of people I could just go hang out with at almost any time. But Sagan loves it here, the weather's impeccable, and Austin has so many opportunities for fulfilling work, it's insane. I know it'll get better as time goes by. If I had to leave my family, I'm so glad it was for a place like this.
Falling in love with someone who is kind, respectful, and affectionate has been amazingly uplifting. I'm so grateful to have this experience.
I experienced the death of two friends/colleagues this year. Both died of cancer and both were younger than I. It made me think about life in general and what it means to be alive and then to be dead. Both women left good legacies and they both impacted many lives. I can't express how I feel about this other than confusion about what it really means to live. And that said, I've been thinking a lot about death recently.
I was forced out of my position in a company I started and I felt - and still feel - all of these emotions. It made my life tumultuous but better, it terrified yet liberated me, it was directly my doing while I was just a pawn, it was utterly shocking yet completely expected. The only part I regret is that I didn't get to say goodbye, but this is how things work some times. I can't imagine life happening any other way now, but it took a lot of soul searching to get to this point. I don't want to forget that healing period or how freedom is also fearsome.
Going to a 3rd World country and being thrown into the poverty. it made me more grateful for what I have, especially the health care I have at my fingertips, opportunities, and free education. A little resentful that the governments in Africa are so corrupt and not bothered about helping their own people. Inspired to do what I can to help others.
I went to a relationship coaches with my significant other. I learned a lot of new tools and I am able to shift my being by choice in relationship. I am grateful.
This year has been a tremendous year for me. I completed over 600 hours of internship at Millikan and Patrick Henry, accomplished so much in my final year at CSULB, graduated, met Mike, and feel like I've made huge strides towards being more at peace with Dad's death. I don't know if I can really pinpoint one experience that's been the most significant. I think the unwavering support of my family has been a theme, certainly. As I begin this year unemployed, over-educated and increasingly poor, there is one thing I know I need never question or feel is too much or too little, and that is the love I feel from my family. From Barb to Ben to Carol to Rachel to Jan to Larry. I am loved.
The passing of my aunt was a significant moment for me. She and I had become in the last few years close buddies. I admired her determination and spirit and I will sorely miss the time I had with her. But I am grateful that I had what time I did with her and that we had the chance to share with each other and to become closer. I have become more aware of how precious my family is to me and the value of the time that we have.
a significant experience i have had is graduating high school. i am grateful for graduating because it helped me move on to college, where i can open up and look at better opportunities that there are for me. this changed my whole life. i worked so hard to make it at of high school and struggled to keep my grades up so i can become a better person in college and take on a career that can better my life.
I am grateful that I finally have established a new fitness and writing routine. It literally took all year to find my groove!
I have two. First, I have a new granddaughter named Gracie. I am happy that my daughters have started families, and I hope their lives go as smoothly as possible. I hope I live long enough for my grandchildren to remember me. The second just happened on September 10th. My sister was in a horrible accident. She has a broken back, ankle, ribs, sternum and fingers. Her injuries were severe enough that she could easily have died. Her recovery is going to be long and slow. I hope she able to once again enjoy the things she loves to do. Her accident reminds me how fleeting our time here really is. I am going to try to be a better person, and I'm going to try to enjoy whatever time I have left on this earth.
I started CrossFit. It might sound silly, but it has really changed my life. I was in quite a rut and needed something new to challenge myself. CrossFit ended up being exactly what I needed - challenging mentally and physically, and a great way to make new friends. I hope to keep getting better and keep letting it make me a better person.
Meeting a certain friend this year, who understood me. He is critical of me, but not judgmental. He helped me grow as a person and will continue to help me grow through the years by forcing me to face my fears and flaws to become a better person, rather than pretending that I am perfect or that it is better to ignore them. He taught me that it is okay to recognize my failings and that it is possible to try to improve without any expectation of perfection. Meeting him has made me feel like there is much to look forward to and I do not have to feel content or helpless.
I had surgery to remove part of my cervix. It was a very stressful time, and I'm relieved that nothing was cancerous, but I'm also afraid that it will come back. I guess I'm just feeling wary now.
In this past year, I started my first job as a volunteer receptionist at the International Institute in Saint Louis. I dont get paid for it in money, but I get paid in skills, such as light typing, answering phones, patience, and how to communicate with clients. Even though its once a week, I have already learned so mych, sush as the importance of getting things ready at night, and learning the names of employees. I am very proud of myself and hope that I enjoy the rest of my time with the II.
My brother, who is my only surviving sibling and living member of my nuclear family, had a heart attack. Though it was a mild heart attack, his vulnerability shook me. At first I was very angry at my brother because for years his wife, children and I have been after him to loose weight, exercise and take care of himself. I have been afraid he would kill himself as a result of his obesity. He was a walking time bomb. I am relieved that it was a mild heart attack that left no damage. I am grateful that my brother has seen this as a wake-up call to FINALLY take care of himself. Since his April 21 heart attack, my brother has completely changed his diet, is exercising daily and has already lost 53 pounds. I am so thankful for this and hope he is able to maintain this new lifestyle for the rest of his life.
Took my family to disney world. I was greatful to have a beautiful healthy family to share wonderful times with.
Two very significant events occurred this past year. One is that I met John and he became an integral part of my life. That has me happy and looking forward to our future together. The other is that my father passed away. I miss him in an indescribable way, and there is definitely a void in my life and the lives of my family where he used to be, but my family has responded in a way that makes me recognize, perhaps for the first time, the deep connection we have with each other and makes me incredibly grateful for each of them.
I've finally found myself a meaningful full-time permanent job that allows me to explore my passions while keeping busy with the job. It's busy enough to keep me interested and it has such a supportive atmoshphere that I would love to work here for awhile. I've never felt such loyalty for a company before. I'm relieved to find a good workplace but I'm also looking forward to the next chapter of my life already. I'm always looking ahead and maybe I need to stop and be grateful for the present sometimes.
1. Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired? I worked third shift for almost a year doing frontline windows server support. -I am a night owl, but not an overnight owl, I escaped. Support is hard, third shift is hard. I dated again, short and disastrous? -Resentful. I am glad I still have cruel and the fish, that lets me know I am not unloveable. I got a role as Technical Project Manager in Blacksburg, with the same company. -Just started, we'll see? I got to move TX->VA Started tea company -I need more time to care and grow it, it's dormant.
Becoming a grandmother twice over ... it is inspiring to rediscover the world through the sense of wonder in my grandchildrens' eyes. It is also an opportunity to get a second chance at participating in the transformation from baby to a growing, thinking, exploring, loving being.
I have chosen to become a lot better in shape this year. I have been working pretty hard and am much stronger than I have been in 30 years, but I am not losing weight. I am very resentful of that- I believe it has to do with the fact that I have officially entered menopause and this is seriously annoying me. My nephew is now a college student- I am shocked AND proud. My niece is a high school student- same feelings. They are amazing new people. I am still not sure what I am doing, where I am going, my network in Akron is still very small, although I am dating someone.
My brother died of a drug overdose in May of this year. In the back of my mind, I knew I'd one day get a phone call that he had been found. Even so, hearing my sister's voice on the phone saying he was unconscious and on life support--broke my heart. We weren't close, but we were a lot alike. I hadn't seen or spoken to him in about 4 years, so when I showed up at the hospital to say goodbye, it was one of the most difficult things to do. I screamed, I cried, I prayed. Then he was gone. Losing each of my parents deeply affected me; losing a sibling was far more profound. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was angry--I still am--but I know living was too painful for him. We also donated his organs and saved a man's life--he's a dad, a husband--somehow that gave me peace. It doesn't seem possible that my sister and I are the only two living members left of the family we came from. Yet, it is, and even with my husband and kids surrounding me with love, I often feel alone in the world.
After spending a second summer working at a camp, I have decided that I want to become a teacher. This is the first thing in a long time that I can actually see myself doing. It's kind of crazy but also exciting. Also terrifying.
On July 17, 2012, I landed an audiobook gig - 1st v/o job in 4 1/4 years of trying. I felt proud, relieved, and scared - all at the same time. It is something of a Jewish experience because I felt like a stranger in the Land of Voice Overs, but I never surrendered and finally found my way.
I realized I no longer held the tenets of Christianity as my own. It took a loooooong time to tell my wife that, but it was good when I did. I remember physically feeling lighter afterward. I feel like I'm more free to be me, now.
Many significant experiences have happened in the past year. It's hard to pick one, so I'll go with the latest one - my wife was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma (cancer). Ugh! She had to have radiation therapy every weekday for a month, which caused a large chunk of her hair to fall out of the back of her head, near her neckline. And, the radiation therapy caused extreme inflammation and pain in her throat (the cancer site was in her neck). She got a nasty thrush infection in her throat, thanks to the radiation. She ended up in the ER (and then admitted to the hospital) TWICE because of this infection/inflammation/pain. BUT... We caught it very early (Stage 1A) and the type of Hodgkin's she has is extremely rare, but "extremely rare" meaning it's highly recoverable and has a cure rate of 90%. So, it's HIGHLY likely that the single radiation treatment will be all she needs. As it turns out, one must wait about 60-90 days for the body to flush out all of the dead cancer cells after the therapy is completed before it can be said unequivocally that the cancer is "gone". So, we're looking forward to November 1, when the Oncologist will do a final PET scan and declare her "cured". This has affected me in several ways as it's progressed - at first I was scared and depressed. After all we've been through with our son and with the many different ways I've nearly lost my wife over our 20 years of marriage, THIS has to happen?! I mean, come ON! But, then my soul mate and spiritual guide reminded me that life is a journey and we're here to just experience it and learn from it. (Boy, am I learning....) She did what she always does - she reassured me and comforted me and that got me to where I could do the same for her, while she was actually HAVING the radiation therapy and dealing with the throat inflammation/pain problems. This has left me extremely grateful to her for choosing me to be her husband.
I broke up with my girl friend that I dated for 2 years and it affected me in a positive way .i am grateful in a way idk y but I am
Buying the 2-flat w/ my sister is just...fantastic! Doing it together allowed me to have this realized. Having my sister and her son around is just really cool. Having my nephew so close is just incredibly enriching and having my sister near is already proving supporting..and fun. So far, so good!
I have been able to save up enough money to make my dream come true - an around the world trip. I learnt that I can do anything I want if I just work hard and keep at it, and even if it takes a whole year and dead tiredness and tears, it's worth it. Because the feeling when you succeed is one of the greatest things. I am really thankful for being able to do this and I hope to bring this lesson with me in other things in life aswell.
Well, Lois died. She and Ben made her dying a whole lot of work for them and a whole lot of work for all of us whom they needed to support them. I am certainly relieved that the hanging on is over, and in fact I am grateful that I got to be a part of that last year of great need. I am inspired by how the whole community came together to pitch in in different ways, so that they did in fact feel so much love and support, and no one person had to carry the burden more than they could stand. I was a bit resentful, feeling that they were milking all this love for no real end, but pleased to see that after she died Ben had absolutely no regrets, and I know that it was because they were allowed to do it their way.
My sister and I had a huge falling out. We used to be so close, best friends, but we slowing started growing apart for one reason or another. Then the thing that finally sent us over the edge and ruined our relationship happened. I found out she had slept with my ex boyfriend. The boyfriend I had been in love with and had broken up with because he had cheated on me. As if that hadn't hurt enough. It crushed me. I thought I had experienced heart break before but nothing could have prepared me for the pain I felt when I found out. It's been nearly 6 months and I still feel so much anger, sadness, betrayal, resentment. I just have so many negative emotions over the whole thing. I still cry when I think about it and I am just so sick of feeling this way. She and I haven't fixed things, she seems like she doesn't really even care. I just don't want to hurt anymore. I want to get over it and write her off. But I can't change the fact that she is my sister and she will always be in my life. But does blood mean I have to forgive? Our relationship is NEVER going to be the same, there just isn't a way to ever change what happened and I will never forget, even if I do forgive. I almost wish I had never found out, then I could just be blissfully unaware. I used to be such a happy person, I still am happy in ways but my heart will never be whole the way it was before. I don't know how to fix this heartbreak. But I don't feel like I have to fix it, after all I am not the one who caused it. I am the victim here, I did nothing to her. I have carried around this huge desire to hit her since I found out and there have been many times that I have almost taken the swing. I think I might- maybe I'll feel better if I do. I just never expected this kind of thing would happen.
A significant event that happened in the past year happened two weeks ago. I had the first surgery of my life (hopefully my last!). This was the first time I'd ever been under general anaesthesia and was terrified. I had my gallbladder removed and a hernia repaired. While I'd been suffering from the pain of the gallbladder dysfunction it was the hernia that brought me to this surgeon the first time. I'm thankful for having it removed as I won't have to suffer from the terrible attacks I'd been having that this surgeon only diagnosed a few weeks before. I'm thankful to know I won't have to go through them any longer. The hernia was likely a result of pregnancy and I'm thankful for it to be repaired (even though I can't lift my Natalie right now, in my recovery) and most importantly I'm thankful for the gifts of the children that resulted from the pregnancies. They are the greatest gift of my life. Being on a disability leave from my work has allowed me to truly rest and allow my body to heal and I'm thankful for that time as well to be reflectful and peaceful. The other significant experience of this past year is a weight loss of 40 lbs. I'm 3 lbs. shy of my goal but haven't been this weight since likely college. It's been hard work but very worthwhile. I'm anxious to try and start doing some exercise to assist in my maintaining the loss. I'm thankful to have done the bulk of the loss alongside Jim. I'm inspired that we are opening up the conversation with James to show him that we can be healthy and show him how to do that.
I started working out and went down a size, toned up, never been happier with my body or more confident in myself and know that I can now challenge my body further.
I had my baby boy. My kids have changed me totally. I am so passionate about them!!!! I am truly grateful for everything...good marriage, healthy kids and good relationship with parents. Good friends
This past year I had 2 business trips on which I had an amazing time. I had so much fun and felt so vital and worthy and connected at the conferences, and felt like I was doing something I was good at. Then I came home to my daily job which doesn't include the quick, strategic communication, the decision-making or the creativity that were required in those meetings. I noticed that I was very sad during the transition back home both times, acknowledging that I am not doing anything at work that feels comparatively vital and worthy, noting that I have chosen to have a family and that has been great, but it would be interesting to see what could have happened if I had focused a bit more on my career at the same time. I have worked through my children's young childhoods, but have been in neutral. I am actually writing this down on Day 2, though I thought about this and put it to paper before last night's services. Then the sermon hit on the same point: being "chosen people" is about being the *committed* ones. The sermon was about commitment to personal excellence in the year ahead. Nail on the head. I need to put commitment to excellence into my professional life.
One of the most significant things that happened to me this year was having a fellow student file a Fitness to Practice Claim on me. It came out of nowhere because I thought I was doing great in school, minding my own business, and trying to be helpful. Never in my life did I think something like this would happen to me. It was upsetting to know that someone disliked me so much that they decided to lie about my character and try and get me into major trouble. I was definitely depressed and anxious and I believe that this news ruined my summer. After a couple of months and realizing that nothing would come of her false claim, I decided to let it go. Holding on to that kind of anger and depression was not good for me at all. However, I realized that it was my reaction to what happened that could have been different. I knew I was innocent and I should not have let it get to me. I guess I was upset about the fact that someone was trying to defame my character. I feel like I've worked so hard to get to where I am today and my integrity and my name is all I have. When someone tries to take that away from you, its a miserable feeling. Either way, I lived through it, and I have no doubt that it will happen again. Not everyone is going to like you and there will always be someone who is out to get you. That being said, I also learned that there are more people who want to life you up then bring you down. The people who truly believe in you can see you for what you really are. The other people don't matter.
You know, my memory has deteriorated so much that I can only think of things from the past few months! During this recent time we've managed to buy our oldest daughter a very cheap but reliable car, both girls have restarted school, and I've finally met my new favorite doctor. That last one would probably be the most significant event of the entire year. He is a very good man that I feel real affection for (at least as a doctor, if not as a man). I've met very few people (and even fewer men) in the past 8 years that I felt anything positive for. In addition, my new doctor has changed a few of my many meds and added testosterone, which all my doctors think may help me to feel better. Maybe better enough to finally get well? Who knows. I'm no longer optimistic at all, but if it comes to pass I will be grateful and hopefully wise enough to take full advantage of it.
I am starting to listen to my heart. For the first time in my life, I am being honest with myself regarding what I want and what I truly feel. This honesty is sometimes scary, and I have not yet been ready to act on it, but I am preparing myself for action. The experience is not so much an event or an action, but a realization that I no longer want to maintain the behaviors and belief patterns that have been holding me back. I want to free myself from me.
A significant event is my retirement which is life changing and enhancing. I need and will take some recovery time. Hopefully by next year at this time I will have a reasonable balance of meaningful activity and relaxation, and will be making life better for some others. I am grateful, and very relieved to be retired. I was more stressed than I realized. I look forward to what God may bring, and hope I will be patient enough not to miss the best.
I was dating a married man since August of last year. It finally came to a head when his wife contacted me on Memorial Day. I was really living a fairytale. Thinking if I did all the things he said she didn't do, he'd realize that I was the better woman and would leave her and their son for me. I was delusional...I'm RELIEVED that it's over but I still miss him and think of him. I felt like we were soulmates. Had we meant in another time we'd be together. But it also showed me that a man will never leave his wife, his stability and family for his "girlfriend".
The most significant thing to have occurred this year is my daughter finally got her driver's license. I am a little relieved and feeling trepidation at the fact she is less than a year from being a "legal" adult.
An employee of mine for the past 12 years who has become a good friend, suddenly passed away. His death, from a sudden heart attack, was so senseless to me. This happened on Jan. 2nd and I think about this great loss every day. Every day I get to spend time with my wife and children, I think about how grateful I should be to be able to do that while my friend is no longer to do this nor his family able to enjoy having their father / husband with them to share memories. Of course, this makes me very sad as well but the only positive thing I can reflect on is that life continues on and it is so important not to only focus on daily/small problems and have time to enjoy life with your family and friends while you have the chance.
Wow. Well, I was going to talk about my bad break-up with my girlfriend of three and a half years, and the subsequent bouts of crippling depression and spiraling alcoholism, but I just realized that's been over a year ago. So now I can happily talk about my adventures in the Spring. I bought a car and traveled around the country, with an old friend, with no plan or objective other than to eventually return and to experience freedom. After the first leg of the journey was done, and I was back home, I drove to New Mexico and took off on another trip with my best friend through college. After five weeks and 10,000 miles -- through beaches, mountains, plains and forests -- spending our nights doing anything from bar-hopping in downtown New Orleans or Chicago to camping in the snow on the side of a volcano in Los Alamos -- the journey was over. It's hard to describe the feeling of being able to go anywhere and do anything, by the power of your own will, but I think I'd call it the American dream. The people I met along the way taught me two important things: We're all completely different, and we're all exactly the same. It's nothing more than language and distance that separate us all. I'm infinitely grateful for this experience. It stopped me from feeling like I was trapped -- that I was on a predetermined course to the grave. I was able to meditate and put myself at peace. And one moment, while driving through the mountains in Colorado, I realized for the first time in my adult life what it was to be happy.
We had to put Chance down, he was having seizures, he was 13-14yrs old, had cardiac's, arthritis, diabetes, and lost most muscles in his back legs, n probably much more, it happened on 9-17-12 at Dr. Ferbers office, the lady (partner)administered it, he was given an IV in his right leg (the one that broke), then sedated n then the euthanization, he was at the beach running around and playing in the pool as of 9:58am, Yayo has been looking all around for him, Chloe has been asking, and everyone is sad, and had been crying. I LOVE YOU CHANCE, AND ALWAYS WILL, HAVE AN AMAZING NEW YEAR FROM ALL OF US!
i jumped the design ship into the event management ship. after 8 years designing the horse magazines, i am now fully immersed in the world of running races and i love it. i originally thought i was looking for a new job because i couldn't handle working all the overtime all the stress of deadlines... but i've gone into another deadline driven, massive commitment but i love it. no regrets. i am finally working for a team that values each and every contributor. it's a beautiful feeling, we are doing good out there, encouraging physical activity...
In 2012, my daughter got her Master's Degree, got a full-time job and got married. When she got her Master's Degree, I was so very proud of her. She worked so hard to get there. I could not stop bragging to anyone who would listen. I was nervous for her future though because I wasn't sure she'd be able to get a full-time school counseling job. Then she got her counseling job and I was so relieved for her. I was also a little sad because she's all grown up now and doesn't really need her mother that much anymore. Then she got married. That was one of the most beautiful days of my life. Everyone I cared about was there to celebrate with us. The only issue with that day was that her father chose to not come to her wedding. He had no valid excuse for not coming to the wedding and I'm so angry with him for making that choice and I am very worried that both of my children will never forgive him. I don't want my children to carry such anger an resentment around with them their whole lives. I worry that I should have done more to try to get him to come to the wedding. My daughter is an inspiration to all, including me. All in all, 2012 was a great year, espcially for my daughter.
In the past year my grandfather got murdered, my stressed caused me to become hospitalized, I applied to graduate school, and I met my first real love (I think). I was hurt more than I thought I would be when I found out my grandfather died. I wasn't close to him and I hadn't seen him in years but it hurt me because it makes death real. I have always been very aware of my lack of immortality and this event pushed it to the forefront.
This year, my old, but previously active, mother had the inevitable fall that changed everything. Obviously it affected me, but my feeling is none of the above - only saddened.
In February I moved from Detroit to Indianapolis. Basically since the day I arrived in Detroit, in 2009, I had been dying to get the hell out, and I couldn't be happier with the decision I made. I moved with the intention of starting my own event planning business, and although that hasn't panned out, I have found another job that I love being a part of each & every day. This move has affected me more positively than I can even describe. I have made friends & grown so much emotionally in the last 6 months, and I couldn't be more inspired about what the future holds.
Two significant experiences for me: I came out as bisexual to my partner and some friends. Its something that I had realised for myself more than a year earlier, but I came out last November and feel so great about being able to be honest with people. I still haven't told any of my family members and some of my friends, and I don't know if I ever will. I continue to feel more comfortable with myself and I hope that I can eventually be honest with everyone in my life. The other significant experience is that I graduated from university. I got a 2:1, which I am happy with, but even more happy that I got a first for my dissertation.
This past year I have dealt with conflict of what most call "kissing ass." When I had a shift in managers last fall, the manager before the change was very nice and accommodating. The new manager is the exact opposite, but I eventually experienced and still experience her nice side. Not so much accommodating though. In achieving the nice aspect I chose to say yes to every lunch or breakfast invite and to share some of my personal life. We have nothing in common and very little to talk about other than the weather and superficial desires or events. All this time has paid back well in that I have taken more job responsibilities and received awards during her reign. Do I feel good about it, yes an no. I'm playing the system.
Declared well ( from my recurrence of breast cancer) after 2 years follow-up tests etc Relieved and making an effort to take the pressure off myself. Walked every single day at least 20 min in good clothes and with intention and with a dog Lucky or Frantzie Death of Lucky, incidents with Guy.Nyla and the feel-up in the Druze restaurant dented my liberal credentials
Hmm...it may sound trivial to some but it definitely has to be climbing the Manitou Incline. I've been slowly trying to get into shape and a great friend of mine asked me if I wanted to do it. Holy crap was it a shocker. I was led to believe that "it was only a mile of stairs." I remember thinking, eh, that's like the stair master. I can handle that. Nothing big. When we got there I realized quickly that this was not your average stairs. It was an old railroad. The stairs were pretty much positioned so that you're doing step ups and lunges at once. Evil little incline. It took me 1 hr and 22 minutes to climb that thing. My whole body was sore, I got overexertion which lead to my neck and whole body being sore, dizziness, fatigue and wanting to vomit. I was PISSED. I cussed that mountain out so many times on my way up. I remember looking down at mid point and thinking "f*ck. I just want to climb back down". However, I'm super stubborn and kept going. Even at the top I was so weak that I didn't care that I had reached it. I didn't care about my time. I just wanted to rest for the next hour...that didn't happen. In order to get down you have to follow a 4 mile rocky trail with a lot of switchbacks. I felt incredibly defeated and had acquired a massive headache and neck soreness along the way down. Miserable is how I can describe myself for the rest of the day. It's funny. The next few days after I started noticing a shift in my mentality. The mountain made me braver, more of a risk taker. Not only had I been humbled by it but I had serious beef with that mountain. I was pissed at how it had treated me. I've been going back since and cutting my time down. 2nd time back I cut 14 minutes off of my climb. The third time it was 4 minutes off from completing it within an hour. I'm learning what works for me stamina wise, I'm learning about my body tolerance, gauging my level, etc. I'm grateful I experienced such an awful and humbling climb...it's making me stronger and more determined. Even braver. I love it.
Last year I wrote that I hoped I would find a job. I did, sort of. I'm at Lincoln Center, at least for the next 11 weeks, and getting paid too-- novel! I will say that the fulfillment of being fully employed, if even in the short term is not to be underestimated; this past summer's job search was demoralizing and depressing and I'm happy to finally have the opportunity to stretch myself a bit more. I think the entire process-- the search, disappointments, successes, anxiety, relief-- has all been momentous for me and at the very least I hope will inform my next steps in the next couple months. I have also moved home, which makes me feel altogether grateful.
Going through the whole college admissions process was a pretty significant event in my life this past year. It was a source of a lot of anxiety - would I get into a school I liked? Could I pay for that school? Would the school end up being right for me? - but now that it's over, I feel relieved. I can't wait to head to college next year after my gap year, even though there are still some loose ends to tie up. The process gave me some practice with letting go and accepting unknown variables. I'm still not good at it, but I'm working on it.
I mounted a huge job search effort, quit my horrible Chico job in a blaze of glory, moved back home to the Bay Area, and found a new job with a $25/hr pay increase. I am relieved, grateful, exhausted and happy to be back home.
When I retired, many people went out of their way to let me know that I had made a difference in their lives. It was nice to hear. Also, my niece adapted a new baby girl. We have a wonderful new family member!
spoken to relatives and friends that I haven't had contact with in several years
I connected with the family of a soldier my father served in World War II with. It made me feel honored, thankful and appreciate human life.
Went to Europe in the spring - biked through the Netherlands. Loved the experience and the feeling of being more fit than I have been in years.
I eloped. I was proud of myself for making such a huge decision without thinking too hard about it. There are few things I can commit to without uncertainty, but I know I made the right decision. My husband is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I've never been so sure of anything in my life.
My wedding day. Beautiful, frustrating, hair curling, cider drinking, havdallah singing, sunset gleaming, Jewish dancing and prancing best day of my life. I am so lucky.
It's been such a significant year! my dear sister-in-law lost her home to a huge fire, escaping with only her self and her two cats. Watching her rebuild, supporting her while she does it, brought a lot of clarity to what is important in life and what is not. We also planned for, saved for, and took a big trip to the UK, 4-year-old in tow, to visit friends and enjoy being away. In a similar way to my sis-in-law's fire, seeing dear friends who are in the midst of horrendous medical hell was both wonderful (to see and hug them) and horrible (reminded of what they've lost, reminded of what we have.) I guess I find myself grateful, more frequently and more specifically, for all the good in my life. I am relieved (and then feel guilty for the relief) that the trials of others are not mine. And I hope that, when my trials come, I take them humbly.
My mother died. After her death, I developed severe pain and had to go on disability. I think it was my body grieving. I am actually grateful to her--in some way, I think this "break" came from her. It made me realize that I am not doing what I want to be doing.
I've suffered from one of the worst illnesses I've ever had in the past year, and it has caused me to take a good hard look at my habits. As a result, I've quit smoking and I have a deeper respect for others who live with the symptoms I experienced on a daily basis.
Well, starting the meds for the first time was significant. A terrible experience, so I was grateful and relieved when it was over. Unfortunately the second try had the same results, and the effects aren't going away as quickly this time. I hope they aren't permanent. I was certainly resentful of Ruane and should have left him sooner. Like Gladstein and hope this works out. I'm delighted I'm doing something on the Obama campaign. I felt bad not to have worked for Gore and Kerrey, so at least this time I will know I've done the best I could no matter the outcome. And I'm beginning to see glimmers of hope about the outcome, but still 7 weeks to go. Hope our work, and my donations, pan out. Not inspiring, but satisfying, and I'm a pretty good trainer, which is gratifying. Probably because of the program, I'm able to deal with some fairly inept people with kindness and patience (externally, at least.)
Going to Japan: I am grateful and inspired My sister getting pregnant: I am worried about my family. Visiting my family in Mexico Listening to James talking to Luke while I was sleeping: loose the trust I had in him.
I'm thinking the mose significant experience personally is that I got through my Cancer treatment in one piece. I never was sick, only mushy-headed and very tired. Glad it's done! The other thing that was very significant, was Hanna's Bat Mitzvah! Wow! Was she amazing! Didn't miss a beat! Her Hebrew was flawless, and her speech was so well delivered (she could have been Dad speaking, she was that good). I am relieved and grateful it's done. We all had a terrific time!
A small party that we had after my first ever book signing. cupcakes and wine at our house. i looked around and realized my most beloved family members were with me, along with a couple of special friends, and two extraordinary former students. grateful!
Boyfriend of 7 years and I split. Most horrendous and wonderful thing ever to happen to me. To deny my devastation would be laughable, but I have learned so much and am eternally grateful for all that I have gained from this experience.
I was engaged in a legal battle over a creative project this year. The entire ordeal was quite a shock to me - I didn't see it coming (even though all the signs were there) and felt betrayed and stressed out and very, very sad for most of the Spring. Now? I feel a mixture of emotions over the ordeal - I feel relieved that the ordeal seems to be over, I feel grateful that something like this happened to me at a time when the stakes were relatively low, and I feel inspired to move on creatively and to work with people who bring me joy. But I also feel a bit beaten up. I feel like I need a rest. So I plan to take some time this autumn to regroup and see what I really want to do next - not what other people think I should do. I'm looking forward to this time for reflection and I'm excited to see what I come up with when I'm on the other side of it all. Do I wish that event hadn't happened? Well, yes - no one likes to be in pain. But I am glad for all that I've learned from the ordeal and I'm excited about my creative future once again.
I think the most significant experience is deciding to make a change and going for it. I decided to give up teaching and try something new. This was incredibly hard b/c as a teacher, you are pigeon-holed when it comes to finding a new job. I persevered and am happy with the new job I've taken. I also decided to move. I'd moved away to college, but that was only an hour and a half away from home. Now I'm 5 hours from home, and unlike in college, I am the only new person trying to meet people and make friends. So far so good though!
My mom passed away, but even with the pain that I feel. I realized that she gave me a new life a second one. Because he died of a desease And we spend meny years figthing and aceppting that fact in our lives. But when she dies She rest and I rest to. I'm grateful with her, God and Life.
My Aunty Kate passed away at age 93 this year. Kate was single and did not have children. She poured her energy into relationships with a small circle of friends and a wide circle of cousins, siblings, nieces and nephews. She was generous with things and time. She playing the piano for herself and others, and she did it well. She cared for neighbors and strangers. She sustained loving relationships with constant intention, and this is what made her happy. It made many other people happy too. I want this same life for myself. She was born in Jamaica Plain in 1919 and first lived in her own place in the 1940s. From around 1947 to 2004, she was situated in a first floor apartment on Roseway Street, hosting rounds of visits from Stoias, Concannons, Rowleys, Shorts, McDonoughs, Mills, friends Gaye, Mary, Brian, Eleanor, Ellen, Nancy, and many others. When we were packing up for her move into assisted living in the foreign and formal neighborhood of Harvard Square, I tried but failed to tell her: I wanted to live out my life the way she was living hers. It was her path I wanted most. I had chosen it by parts, but there I was, fully on it; in my late thirties, single, not raising children, desiring to pour my energy into relationships with friends and extended family. I was grateful to her for making this path so attractive. She seemed a little surprised at this declaration, ever humble. Naturally, she accomplished what she did incrementally, and so she may not have noticed how profoundly beautiful it was. Her home and her spirit were filled with love and she arrived at that place by single days. She did this by giving love away, by responding to people who called her Kate, Ursula, Sis, Kat, Queenie and Aunty. She cultivated this path with each one of us in a single afternoon or a weekend and she repeated the act until it spanned decades. Kate was happy and fulfilled until her late 80s. About 5 years ago, she lost the ability to pull herself out of a chair. Once immobile, she did her best to live well, but it was obvious she wasn't enjoying herself. I asked if she was ready to go and she responded she had been ready for a while. It wasn't a sad conversation; it was a matter of acknowledging a sad feeling. Telling it released it. Hearing it disarmed it. About three years ago she moved to a terrific nursing home in Jamaica Plain, much nearer to Roseway Street. She spent time in beds and chairs, surrounded by unfailingly kind staff and frequent visitors. There was a piano she could play from time to time. She died on August 20. I am grateful she was able to leave this year and not linger into the next. But I miss her tremendously. My hope is that I can cultivate her gorgeous path over my next 47 years. It would be nice to hand it off in good condition.
The most significant experience as a whole would probably have to be applying to, being rejected from, being interviewed by, and finally getting an offer from university; and the whole process of meeting that offer and finishing my IB. It has been hard along the way. I have been really busy trying to fit everything in, as I wanted so many things so much, and I did feel at times that certain aspects of the whole thing would have to be compromised. I am particularly thinking of the balance of IB coursework with application stuff; and then trying to juggle all 6 subjects. One time that exemplified this was a particular week in early December. Having been told that I did, and then didn't, have an interview for Cambridge - my dream medical school - I finally did have an actual one with a date. That week I was also doing a concerto with L&G, the joint orchestra of mine and another school, which I'd been dreaming of since I was 11, and which was terrifying but exhilarating. And, I had English and TOK coursework due that week. It was manic as manic gets, but I made it all happen. The great bit is that I can look back and say that it was all so worthwile. I do think that I've been incredibly lucky, but somehow or another I ended up with a place at Cambridge, and I'm off there in just under a fortnight. I'm so relieved that applying for university is over, and that I've ended up with a situation beyond my wildest dreams. As well as Cambridge, I'm also grateful to Bristol and Edinburgh, who rejected me before interview. I think that rejection, though it's not a nice feeling, is a pretty important one to get used to. And it reminds me that I need to prove myself as a medical student - there's still a long way to go. It was stressful, but I had fun. I still have my friends around me and (even if they're all venturing far and wide to other unis), if anything, I'm closer to them than ever. And from a university applications point of view, in the end, it couldn't really have gone any better!
The realization that my son is 24, and it's time to treat him as a separate adult, and to adjust what I ask of him. I feel proud for him, a little sad as I realize my house is not his home base anymore.
I didn't get a job with Emirates. While this might sound like a bad thing, it opened up doors to many other things. Ultimately, I've ended up with exactly what I wanted (and needed) all along and there's no way I would've found this in Dubai.
Doing the faculty boot camp was probably my most significant experience this past year. I feel like a lot of what I learned was basically common sense, but there's something about keeping the practice going that requires a presence of mind that I don't usually have. By taking time every week to deliberately plan the week, and to have it dovetail with the longer-range plan, I have a conscious decision-making process that recognizes the impossibility of doing everything I want to do. Rather than constantly feeling like I'm barely hanging on to a run-away train, I feel like I have control over it. In order to realize the plan I make for myself, though, I find I need to put blinders on and let less important things slip away. So I still feel really out of control with a bunch of other aspects of life. But I'm trying to put the principles into practice for other aspects of life.
We became engaged on Valentine's Day this year. While it was not a big surprise it was not what I was expecting, in the way I reacted, in the way it felt, in the weight of the ring on my finger. It really made me stop and think, for the better!
This year was rough for my roommate/best friend and me. She got a new boyfriend who I didn't really like at first and it was an ongoing struggle for us for a while. I'm grateful it happened because I learned from it (mainly that I was being a brat and sometimes you have to step up and be the bigger person) but it was also a tough time in my life. It really comes down to this: life is too short to take anything for granted and to live life in a sour mood. So why not fix things that need to be fixed, act like the grown up you are and start treating people the way you'd like to be treated. If everyone did that, then this world would be a much better place.
I finally came to terms with depression this year. The fall was a rough time. I came out of Avodah into a new job and a new house where I didn't know anyone, having just lost my cousin Joshua; my partner had just moved away. It was really the first time I recognized what was happening to me as depression. I didn't feel like doing anything except watching TV in my bed. I knew I should want to go out and do things, but I just didn't. I also had intense anxiety, which made me feel not only like things were going wrong at the moment, but that nothing would work out in the future. I was sad for things that hadn't happened yet and might not happen in the future. I felt really isolated in my new house where I didn't know anyone, and I felt distant from all my friends in DC. I felt like I needed people to be there and talk to me every single day, to talk me through what I was feeling, and tell me it was going to be, but the only person I felt like I had was my partner; many times, I didn't even feel like I had them. I felt so isolated. I later learned that my roommate who lived in the room next door to me was also depressed and continues to be depressed. When I learned that, I felt regretful because I wished I had been able to reach out to him and to other people. I think I've learned a lot about myself this year that I want to work on: vulnerability and neediness, that of myself and of others, makes me sick, because, in our capitalist society, we are taught that we are supposed to be able to take care of ourselves and make it on our own. When I had depression, I felt like I couldn't tell people. However, I also feel grateful for some of the people that were understanding and helped me through that time: my parents, my partner, my friends in DC and far away, my therapist. I was also really grateful for the staff at RG whom I took the risk of telling about my depression because I couldn't accomplish what I had said I would accomplished with them. It was great to be responded to with kindness and compassion that I'm sure helped me in more ways than I recognized. Recently, I went to the National Havurah Committee Summer Institute. It is a gathering of folks looking to explore Jewish learning and spirituality. I was an Everett Fellow, which means I did programming with 17 other people in our 20s and 30s. We paired up during one program and talked about blocks to our spiritual engagement. I felt like my depression started around September of 2011, but I realized in that August 2012 program that, even though I had gone on medication and been in therapy, I still have not entirely made my way through this. I realized that there were some blocks to my spiritual engagement that I was ignoring, that I am still ignoring. Speaking to my co-fellows about the concept of groundedness was also helpful because I realized that a lot of what I still feel is a lack of groundedness. On the other hand, I feel incredibly grateful for the communities I have found and that hold me, for all my new friends, for my spiritual community and support, and for my partner and family.
I gave birth to my son, Joseph. Whenever I thought of my future, long before I even met my husband, I always saw myself raising three boys. I knew in my heart that I would have nothing but boys, and so it came as no surprise to me that when I missed my period I knew at once that it would be a boy. Having had a miscarriage almost a year to the date before conceiving our son I had a wide range of emotions. The miscarriage had really made me re-evaluate the direction of my life, the choice to have children, and the idea of moving into that next stage in my development as a person. Motherhood is never something to take lightly. I also had terrible regret and guilt from my miscarriage because I, at that time, was not ready to be a mother and did not want to be pregnant. It was only until we lost the baby that I realized I was selling myself short. Finding out we were pregnant was an amazing time for my husband and myself. It spurred so much within both our lives. I was almost finished with my teaching credential and was unable to complete the program in the time I thought I could because of the pregnancy but - surprisingly - it did not bother me. All the hard work had been done and I could come back to it any time within the next 5 years. I prepared myself for motherhood and my husband jumped into high gear. He started working overtime, saved up some money, bought us a house, and proceeded to start buying all sorts of things for the baby. He was so excited and so elated that his attitude was infectious. My pregnancy seemed like nothing because of his support and how easy it was for me. Seeing my son being held up in front of me, screaming and squirming around was one of the most intense moments of my life. Not only had I just done the hardest thing a woman's body can do, but it had produced a person - someone who will grow up and have children of his own. It was this beautiful but strange moment of feeling connected to the circle of life and knowing that I had just accomplished one of the greatest things a human can do - give birth. It had been such a painful and confusing path to get to that exact moment but having him in my arms just minutes after being born made everything seem right in my world.
I found out that I will probably losing my job at the end of the year. I was absolutely devastated when I found out. Gradually, however, this realization has helped me appreciate the gifts and blessings that I do have. I try to appreciate each day, especially at work, because they very well might be my last.
Seeing my closest friend get married was a heartwarming experience, that I don't think I'll ever forget. I'm also upset that I was able to quit smoking for an entire month, yet one bit of stress put me back on the habit again. That's significantly frustrating.
The most significant experience of the last year was marrying my wonderful, kind, smart, compassionate, loving husband. I am so grateful to have him in my life and blessed that he not only accepts me for who I am, but we live a full Jewish life and home together.
Nanny Robinson (my grandmother) passed away. I was very sad and I was also sorry I hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to her. During this same time, I was taking a summer course at USF but was unable to handle it all with my brain malfunctions. I was also experiencing psychosis at the same time. It was very difficult, and I still really miss Nanny. It wasn't like I saw her much in the past twelve years, but I miss knowing she's alive being able to send her a letter or a card, seeing her and Pop Pop together when I did visit. I miss her because she was such a strong personality that influenced my life. I miss her because I loved her.
I helped and watched my 11 year old daughter overcome anxiety and school aversion and grow into a young person that accepts responsibility for herself and her work. I am immensely grateful to know that we can work through issues like this together, and that getting through to the problems works, and that she enjoys and profits from the process of working through problems. I told her she gained at 11 a tool that I did not have fully functional for myself until I was in my late 20's. I know she will have challenges in the future with the same issues, but I feel like I have grown to have confidence in her resolving issues.
My partner had aortic valve replacement surgery. I feel, actually, grateful, relieved, resentful, and inspired. Grateful that there are doctors and nurses who really know their shit -- not to mention researchers and cows who give their valves. I feel relieved that he has (mostly) come out the other side in good shape. Not 100% good shape yet, but getting there. I feel resentful at how many significant experiences in his life have taken a significant amount of work, support, and caretaking on my end. I feel inspired to be as good at something meaningful as those nurses and doctors are at cardiac care.
A year ago my brother died unexpectedly two days after my marriage fell apart and I lost my home. My foundation was shaken and my world felt like it had fallen apart. What I learned over the last year is acceptance, compassion, growth, love and self-discovery are the flip sides of the coin to yearning, pain, loss, sorrow, and self-pity. Put simply it is this: Instead of fighting change, let yourself be in the moment and truly experience it. Let it wash over you. Let it change you where you need to be changed, removing the parts that no longer serve you and enabling growth.
ONe major significant experience that happened this past year is that I lost my business. I am resentful because I was supposed to make it big. Instead, the debt kept creeping up and we had to close. I am partly relieved because the type of business was cut throat and not very pretty.
CLTC was the most significant experience that happened to me this past year. Obviously I'm going to write about that since JKot suggested it and she wrote about it. Traveling to Wisconsin and making over 100 new best friends was fantastic. One of my favorite things ever was Sycamore Bonding. Specifically on the first friday night when we played if you really new me. I loved how close I could get people that I had just met and i feel so connected to them. I also learned a lot about how to run my chapter which i hope will help me throughout this term as n'siah. CLTC and Kochava BBG #1806 was definitely a life changing experience.
The biggest experience was getting promoted to Full Professor. it was a lot of work putting the folders together and then waiting through each step of the process. I have good friends who kept sending me supportive messages. I am relieved that this is the last time I go up for promotion. I am grateful that I got it on the first try. I have been relaxing ever since. For the first time in a long time I do not have a pressing publication deadline. I am not good with leisure.
I closed my business. At the same time, my dog, and best friend of 14 years died. It was so much at once, I really could only handle the loss of my dog. It was one of the worst things I have ever gone through. She was the one thing that loved me as much as I loved her. I still haven't processed the closing of my business. I am a combination of many things: relieved, sad, angry. I am feeling particularly uninspired right now and don't know what direction to go towards. I cannot seem to find my footing after all of this.
Last year, almost 6 months ago, I married my best friend and I know that it will impact my life from this day forward. It was the happiest day of my life. I didn't have a care in the world except the love I felt between us, our families, and all of our friends. It was truly a magical day that I'll never forget. I am so happy to look down at my finger or over at his beautiful face and be reminded how lucky I am to have found my beshert. I look forward to the challenges and celebrations to come.
Becoming more active in my Temple has provided me with a stronger purpose, with a chance to use my creativity and has given me a way to feel more connected. I am amazed and thrilled at watching my confidence and my willingness to challenge myself increase!
I spent a large part of the last year looking for work, and exploring my motivators and myself. I found work in an investment advisory firm. Thought the current job may not be my ideal, I learned a lot about myself. I'm a little frustrated at my inaction, but also feel like I'm not giving myself credit. I'm inspired, but don't know quite what to do with it.
My mother has been ill, which feels like an experience that has yet to happen - like there's another shoe that's going to drop and make the situation either much better or much worse, and then I'll know what to do.
Traveling to Miami for Rathyatra and to spend time with my Guru despite being on crutches because of an ankle injury. I'm grateful for the opportunity. Even though it was difficult on crutches, I was proud to be in the parade, and to spend time with him. I also had the opportunity to spend time with to dear old friends , Sergio and Merlin, whom I had not seen in a number of years.
After twelve and a half years of sharing a life with me, Through thick and thin, My beautiful, loving puppy girl left me. It ripped my heart out. I'd do it all again, But I would do it better.
I started going out with a really amazing girl, and my life has been totally amazing ever since. She's the best.
I can't begin to relate the many ways in which the birth of my son has changed my life. But there have also been other significant events. My in-laws got into a huge fight with their machetunim. As a result, there is an unpleasant spat between my brother-in-law's family and his wife's family. It's made me think deeply about what I want my family to be like, since all the family members now have grandchildren to share. Will they be good family members, co-grandparents, and community members? It's up to them, and also up to me and my husband in terms of the situation I encourage. Everyone needs to make a good faith effort to get along. If they don't the results are unpleasant.
I broke up with my first real boyfriend. It hurt and felt really good because we both knew we weren't a good long-term fit for eachother. I am really proud of both of us for how kind but honest we were (or at least i believe he was). It is sort of a relief to have a relationship under my belt. I felt sort of stunted or like I was missing out on a basic part of human experience before.
About a month into Occupy Wall Street I went down to Zuccotti Park at about 4am after a heavy rain. It was pitch dark, very crowded and wet. I slipped backwards and hit the ground with my left leg twisted under my body. Two strangers ran up to me with others asking if I was okay, and though I was wildly protesting, they each grabbed me under an arm, lifting me up. My leg was sore but I could walk. As the dawn arrived and time passed, I felt a little better and so went to meet a friend visiting from South Africa for breakfast. By the time we'd downed our eggs & headed to the Metropolitan Museum she could take in its wonders, my discomfort had turned to pain. I headed home and did the ice/heat "cure." I borrowed a cane from a friend, which helped, but eventually had to see an MD. I was diagnosed with thigh muscle contusions. I have been in one form or another of physical therapy ever since. A few weeks ago after months of little progress, I decided to take over my own case and got a new MD who I asked to prescribe more physical therapy & deep tissue work. I feel that since I decided my body was giving me better signals than the docs, I’m getting better. There have been some wonders that resulted from my spill. One was that I discovered I've been speeding thru my life and not paying attention to my surroundings. Because I'm slowed down physically I’ve become more aware of the seasons, had time to look at the amazing faces of New Yorkers and accept their kindness. They help open doors, let me go ahead of them in lines, ask if they can help. I’ve learned to ask for help when I need it, and also to say no more assertively than I did at Zuccotti Park, thus avoidomg further injury.
Thought I needed to find a new job - was very stressful, but motivated me to think about goals, etc. Instead, my manager left the company - and my new manager offers a better outlook - so far.
I got married. My whole world has changed. I have never had to be this accountable and/or vulnerable to another person since I was a child. It is scary and exciting. And I love it. I am so thankful.
lost custody of my daughter, BF cheated on me, ex came into my house unannounced without permission, cannot find work, started school, I suck at art, resentful, grief stricken, beaten down, unloved. But YHWY loves me n I am remembering that HE is my first love n HE will heal me.
In the past year, I have managed to settle on a path for my future. I am relieved to know that I will be able to attend graduate school of some form, though where I go will be determined by Patrick's future job. I have managed to finish another solid two semesters despite my suicide attempt two years ago and I have enough experience and a high enough GPA to be competitive again. I am happy and relieved to have an opportunity to continue my education, but it also terrifies me to not have complete control over my future as I have in the past. While getting married to the man of my dreams comes with a lifetime of happiness, I do miss some of the freedoms of being single and being able to decide where I will be settling. To completely trust another to determine your life's location and future is, in my opinion, among greatest acts of trust you can bestow upon an individual. I hope I can remain strong enough to find my way and maintain my faith in my husband-to-be.
I served as APhA-ASP Chapter President. It was such an enriching, enlightening, and humbling experience, for which I am very grateful to have had. I learned from my teammates (Exec board) and I learned about myself: I gained experience leading meetings and re-discovered the power and importance of collaboration and constructive discussion, I improved so much in my comfort level and communication skills in front of large student/faculty audiences, lots of organizational/behind the scenes work, and I devoted myself to the organization. I am a very modest leader (level 5 potential, wooh!), and thus I worked for the good of the members day after day, rarely receiving any credit. Wouldn't have traded the year for anything!
My niece and nephew survived a terrible car crash. It affected me in terms of happy they survived, sad for their conditions and their loss of wife, mother, son and brother. I am inspired by their continued strength and dignity during this ordeal.
I broke up with my girlfriend last year. It made me think about her all the time. I still do quite often. Also, ever time I got a haircut I'd feel anxious for a few weeks after until it grew back.
I got impatient with my husband when he was having problems with itchy skin and would not call the doctor! I want to go easy and call the doctor myself. I get angry when I am worried and that is not good for either of us!
E and I broke up. The unfortunate fact is that it's because I'm not Jewish, and here I am at the time of the Jewish New Year reflecting on the recent break up. It really pisses me off.
The birth of my son, Max, changed me forever. I feel empowered to have created and nurtured such a beautiful creature into this world. I feel grateful to G-d for the gift of life to create life. I feel like I've done exactly what I was brought on this Earth to do.
My wife and I had to confront our spending habits and take corrective action (bankruptcy). This was a very difficult choice - one that required inward admission to our failures and our willingness to learn from our mistakes. This has also brought us closer together in our communication and our acknowledging each other. I am sad that we have had to take this road but grateful that there was a reasonable and (hopefully) satisfactory solution.
Basically, my dreams came true. For most of last year, I worked on manifesting my guy and my desire to start a family. I was in a relationship with someone I'd known my entire life and thought that maybe he was the one. As we got deeper into it, it became heartbreakingly apparent that not only was he not the guy, but yet another test from the universe to see if I had finally learned my Amago lesson. Despite my absolute terror and confusion, I made the difficult decision to break it off with him. Within days, the right guy walked through my door. We too had known each other a very long time and had probably loved each other from the minute we first met. We lost touch over the last 17 years, but the minute he walked into my holiday party, I just had this major epiphany - I had no idea whether he was available or still interested, but I just heard a voice loud and clear say to me, "like this. He needs to be like this." Within a month we were dating. Within two we agreed we were in love. Within four he informed me that he'd be asking me to marry him soon. Within 6 we were planning our wedding in October and discovering that we're pregnant. It's just 8 months later and I'm living a completely different life - with the man I'd always thought was unreachable, on an avocado ranch in the foothills of Santa Barbara, overlooking the Channel Islands, with a child on the way that we both want more than anything other than each other. It really is true that when it's right, it happens fast and furiously. Nothing has felt more right in my entire life. I am thrilled, thankful, overcome with a tangible sense of joy, wonderment and extreme gratitude that everything I have ever dared to dream when it comes to a partner and family is now in our hands. I am the luckiest girl in the world.
I was given so many opportunities this summer, and I am so grateful that I had so much loving support from freinds and family on my path
This year I entered my first relationship. At first I was scared of how fast I developed feelings for him and I held back but then I decided to jump in and experience something new. There's been lots of ups and downs but overall he's given me more self-esteem and confidence. And most importantly someone who understands me. We both suffer from a depressive disorder and it's so comforting to have someone who makes you feel normal.
I pulled up my decades-old roots in California, and moved to Texas to live near my daughter and be child care for my brand-new granddaughter. My daughter and I had always talked about doing this, and the time has come! It's wonderful to be near her again (we'd been geographically separated for nearly 12 years), and such a treat to get to see so much of my granddaughter and to participate in her growth and education.
Going to Fairbanks for summer work as a student rabbi was certainly a big experience this year. the year 5772 had a lot of firsts though. I'd say the experience in AK gave me confidence in the skills I need (leading services, preparing Torah study, etc). More than that however, it gave me the relief in knowing that I didn't give up my former career as a chemist on a whim. That even though I miss being a chemist, I miss being an employee (and having a paycheck), I am doing what I need to be doing. And I'm not terrible at it. I am therefore relieved, grateful, a bit nervous, very inspired, and ready to take on the future.
I changed jobs... again. But more importantly, I went from a Project Officer position where I was simply taking orders to a Product Director position where I lead a team and am actually in charge of the direction of a company. This has affected me in a lot of ways, good and bad. I took a great leap to help launch this company, taking a lower salary but other benefits like stocks, tons of flexibility both with time and location, and a real excitement to go to work every day. Co-founding a startup is no easy task, but it is definitely the most exhilarating job I've ever had. I am grateful that I've found something that I love to do while I'm living here waiting for laws in the US to change so I can move back home with B. I am relieved that I'm not in the same kind of funk that I was this time last year, when I really just took a job because I needed one and didn't have the ability to really choose something I liked. But I'm sad that it has taken such a toll on my social life. I'm living paycheck to paycheck more than I have had to in the past, so I feel like I'm a slave to the job, with no financial freedom and worrying about how I'm going to get by. B also got a new job this summer and took a pay cut as well, so our life has been revolving around money lately. It has definitely taken a toll on our relationship, and we are easily disenchanted by this lifestyle, but can't figure out a way to get out of it. This new job has really inspired me to figure out a way to become independently wealthy. Living the entrepreneurial lifestyle over the last 9 months has shown me what is possible and what I'm capable of. I am confident that I can be successful as long as I work really hard and have a little bit of luck on my side.
My marriage has changed me, the way I see the world, and the way the world looks back at me. I never understood what being a wife would mean to me. It's not a fairytale or just like TV... marriage can be brutal! It's a lot to wholly love, support, and give to another person...but it's so, so worth it!
I finally had the strength to look for a new job. I am relieved that I did it, terrified about the future, and sad to be leaving behind my friends here in Atlanta.
Every day with my daughter is a significant experience, even when we're doing something as innocuous as jumping on the bed. The rate at which she learns new things, and the courage she displays as she tries to figure out the world is humbling and awe inspiring. She is my hero.
I got laid off from my job 2 weeks ago. I'm angry, hurt, tired, exhausted and worried about my finances. I don't know how I'm going to make ends meet. I'm trying to stay positive and hope that I find a new job soon.
My mother was diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer in her stomach, and lower intestines. I am so sad and frustrated that she is in so much daily pain. I want her so much to be here for years and years ahead as she has much living left to do.
This year I got slammed by work. Work consumed me. It crushed me, made me feel completely inadequate and unqualified for what I was doing. I went from feeling at the top of my game professionally to being at the bottom of the heap. It was not at all what I was expecting. It hurt. And then I got diagnosed with Crohn's disease. That was intense. Really, terrifyingly intense. It's made me question my past and wonder if I had symptoms all the way back to childhood (mysterious intestinal cramps in 5th grade that the doctor thought I was faking) to all the years of undiagnosed abdominal pain that I thought were lady problems. And more importantly, it's changing my life. With all the intestinal aches of the last 6 months, I have learned to regard food with suspicion. Is it going to hurt later? How much? Will the taste be worth the pain? I've eliminated so many foods from my diet. Gone are dairy, gluten, beef, raw fruit, and more. At first I couldn't stop thinking about the things I couldn't eat. Pizza, my friend. How will I live without you? But after so many sick nights and insanely painful stomach aches, I changed my attitude. I didn't lose pizza, I choose to be in less pain. I am still happy to discover new things that don't make me sick. Gluten free vegan brownies! Crohn's is kicking my ass, but it's making me glad I'm alive to be kicked.
I am grateful for the boyfriend I have now. I am 24 years old and he taught me how to ride a bike. I now ride my bike to and from work and use it to commute almost everywhere in the city. I believe it saves me money over all and I enjoy riding it. I also enjoy not having to rely on the bus as often as I did before. I like that it was my boyfriend that showed me this and I appreciate his efforts and his patience while teaching me to learn how to ride. It taught me about myself and about him and showed me a lot about his loyalty and trustworthiness.
I fell in love. I've been in a relationship for 1.5 years with a wonderful person, but was holding back. I was comparing it to past experiences, to expectations, to fears. Early in the summer, and with the support of some close friends, I let go of some of my resistance and recognized that she was in my heart, and that I wanted to build with her more whole heartedly.
I realized that I'm a very good therapist. That three years in, my patient is making incredible gains. That I am truly helping another human being to be whole, integrated, and capable of giving, and receiving, love. I am so grateful for this experience. However uncertain I feel about myself in (myriad) other ways, I know that I'm a good therapist.
my girlfriend caught me cheating, it made me realize that what i was doing and how i was living my life was wrong,, i am very relieved and we are still together
I purchased my forever house. It was a long road to get here because of probate issues after my husband's death, and things got way more complicated than they should have. The first year after his death was so confusing, so painful, everything so uncertain, always in a state of flux. Buying this house was my way of firmly planting myself in a new future, of carving out my own place in this strange new world. I'm finally settling into my new life after his death, and finding a new 'normal.' It feels really good it know where home is again.
I got fired from a job I wanted to keep very much. At first I was resentful, but now I am relieved and grateful. If it hadn't happened, I wouldn't be in the current job and I would be on track to spend yet another semester in grad school. I wouldn't have learned so much this summer. I wouldn't be able to relate to my future clients. I'm very grateful.
I crashed the car. At first I was pretty devastated. I had fallen asleep in the middle of the afternoon and, while I was going very slowly, still totaled the car. It turns out, however, that now my doctors are willing to write me a prescription for narcolepsy drugs. After 22 years of complaining about exhaustion and falling asleep at inappropriate times, now my problem "qualifies." I have mixed feelings about the last 22 years of doctors that I have seen--I don't know that it will accomplish anything to be resentful, though. At any rate, the drug is nice--I can't take it right now, but will go back on it as soon as I can. I have also had a great psychic burden lifted from me. I always felt like if I tried a little harder--exercised more, had a more regular schedule--that I wouldn't be tired all the time. I don't feel that way anymore. The new car is not as nice as the one I crashed, but I can live with it.
I decided to go to grad school. It was tough, given how difficult the past year has been, but at the same time, the fact they I was deciding to go to school and really being excited about my future was right at the same time as that,a year ago,I was full of self doubt.
I got a new job and it's a permanent position after years of contract positions. It has changed my life. There is some security in my life now. I am relieved and grateful for the kindness of the people who gave me the opportunity.
I went before the beit din, had them in tears, and entered the mikveh to complete my return to the Covenant with the Jewish People. After 500 years of this family secret being passed from generation to generation, I'm the lucky one who gets to openly celebrate our Jewish heritage. It was a monumental shift internally. I am humbled, grateful, relieved and inspired. I now see the world through a Jewish lens and my life follows the Jewish calendar rather than the Gregorian one. My internal self, my soul, is now in alignment with who I was meant to be. Taking my place under the tent of the Tribe is, without a doubt, a watershed moment in my life. I am now who I was meant to be.
I am resentful that my marriage failed. I am disappointed and hurt and angry about the deceitfulndss Martin displayed and how he is. Ow co diction g himself. But I am also inspired to stay strong for my kids and for myself. I am relieved that I no longer have to live in a situation where I cannot tell lies from truth and am often being blamed for someone else's shortcomings. But despite all that I completed a half marathon yesterday and that is awesome!
I quit a job that I hated. It was scary to contemplate but gratifying to have other work flow into my life just as I was making a break. It felt like a vote of confidence from G-d that it was the right decision to make.
A few months shy of a year ago I finished my Associates degree. I was impressed with myself and felt a great sense of accomplishment. I have always had difficulty seeing things through to completion, especially long-term goals. So to spend every day for 2 years working toward a goal, accomplishing that goal, and doing so with a strong GPA gave me the knowledge that I can achieve my long-term goals. The day I received my degree I cried in relief and joy.
Joel and I have had a very hard year. We split up in December the day after Christmas until the end of January. We got pregnant in March with our baby. The pregnancy has been horrific, I had really bad HG then I got shingles and had a stroke. I hope all of this has made me stronger but really all I feel is mean. I am grateful that I have grown, but I want to be nice and that is way too hard right now. I feel like I am still in survival mode. In about 14 weeks I will have this baby and it will be super hard for a long time. We have decided I will be fixed and it will be wonderful to KNOW I never have to go through any of this ever again. We are overwhelmed and I want to be done with the baby part of everything until I am holding someone else's baby. It will work out.
The most significant thing I did in the past year was to have a prophylactic mastectomy. Aside from my decision to have a child on my own 8 years ago, this was probably the most decisive action I have ever taken in my life. The process began when I learned two years ago that I have a genetic alteration (BRCA2) that puts me at very high risk of breast and ovarian cancer. I had family history - my mother had breast cancer in her 30's that killed her at age 41 - but I was still blown away when my genetic test came back positive. I have always believed that knowledge is power, but this was the first time in my life that the weight of knowledge was overwhelming. It has taken me 2 years to fully process and deal with this information. However, knowledge is power, and this knowledge, while difficult to handle, has proven to be lifesaving. 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jews carries a BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene alteration putting them at very high risk of breast, ovarian and other cancers, so I hope others - of both genders - who read this and have family history of breast, ovarian, pancreatic, or colon cancer, or early-onset/aggressive prostate cancer will speak with a genetic counselor about whether you are high-risk. Even if you don't get tested, there are actions you can take for prevention and screening. Soon after learning about my genetic status, I had my ovaries removed. This turned out to be life-saving surgery, since they found a pre-cancerous lesion in the tissue they removed. It also cut my breast cancer risk in half by reducing estrogen exposure to my breasts. My lifetime risk of breast cancer after that was estimate at 30%, with about a 3-5% chance that I would die from it. With those odds, it was a dilemma whether it was worth it to remove healthy breasts to reduce that risk by 90%. I think if I didn't have a young son to think about, I might have played the odds - a 70% chance that I would never get breast cancer - why go to the extreme of cutting off body parts? But as a single mother, I felt the obligation to do absolutely everything I could to stay alive and well. If I die, my son is an orphan. Last year, he passed the age that I was when my mother died - 6 years and 7 weeks old. He still needs me to be with him at night to help him sleep. Even having gone through the devastating trauma of losing my mother at that age, it was hard for me to imagine what it would do to my son if he lost me. I also never wanted to be in the position of having cancer, and hating myself because I had not done everything in my power to avert it. Whenever I have been in the process of making these big decisions, both about child-bearing and about surgery, the holiday liturgy has felt especially meaningful - who shall be born, who shall live, who shall die? God has written our fate (in my case in genetic code), but we may yet be able to soften the harsh decree. In both of these decisions, I think I have been guided by the Jewish value of the importance of life - bringing a new life into the world, and doing whatever I could to preserve my own life. Also, 2 years ago, when my son began to be aware of the natural cycle of life and death, he asked, "Mommy, will you be alive when I'm a grown-up?" I told him that parents almost always live that long, and I was taking very good care of myself and doing everything possible to make it happen. But I felt guilty, knowing it wasn't entirely true - I would have to have the mastectomy to make it true. I think the value of rigorous honesty propelled me toward action. My son doesn't yet understand the magnitude of what I have sacrificed for him, and maybe he never will. It turns out that losing my breasts wasn't quite as traumatic as I expected, in part due to good reconstruction. But still, losing body parts, even by choice, is never easy, and I have often felt angry. This year, my mother's birthday fell on the eve of Rosh Hashana, and I mentioned that to my son as we arrived home from services. She would have been 82, meaning she died half a lifetime ago, at 41. My son suddenly asked me how old I was when she died, and when I told him 6 years old, he seemed to try to imagine that. He asked how she died, and I told him she had cancer. I added, "that's why I had my surgery - to make sure the same thing doesn't happen to me. The doctor took out the parts where my mother had her cancer, so I wouldn't get the same cancer." While I still feel the sadness of layers of loss, at that moment I felt a sense of peace and contentment - shalom - imagining that I might make it to 82, and live to know my grandchildren.
Being married. For an entire year. Feeling the comfort, ease and infinity in a partnership beyond anything I could have ever envisioned. The simple truth of the waves...and the parallel truth that they pass....revealing another sweet layer. And knowing that we can just keep falling, as long as we are open, willing, attentive. And as we refine and deepen, the gem becomes more precious...and with that feeling the fear that can creep in at the edges....of the fragility of building a life attached to another human life. But isn't this everything?
I began and ended my first sexual relationship. For an experience that I expected to be just a normal part of life, it ended up being monumental. Being so close to another person, living with them, breathing them in, becoming part of each other...it was more than I ever expected. I'm grateful and resentful. I'm grateful that I found such a comfortable brand of love, and I resent that it wasn't enough for me.
I lost my job. And it affected me in that several ways. First of all it made me happy that I had saved up enough money to not have to stress about it. And it also made me realize how much of a luxury sleep is, and how much I needed recreation in my life. It also gave me a chance to realize that I wasn't doing anything I cared about at all and that the next time I work, I want it to be something I'm passionate about. So yes, grateful, relieved, and inspired, not the least bit resentful though.
My 11 year old son has been living in a residential program in Utah (3 states away from us) while being treated for his 2011 diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder/Aspergers. I am relieved he is getting help and improving and feel fortunate that we have been able to access resources to provide for his care, I feel like a part of my body (like an arm or leg) is missing without him at home. I am extremely grateful that I have learned to treasure the simple moments life presents, like when he comes home for a visit and the best part is when we are all sitting on a couch together or tossing a football in the backyard. Moments that don't cost anything but are worth more than gold.
I got over 1,500 notes on a tumblr post. This answer is inappropriate. Honestly though i don't think much significant has happened to me. Tiff told me to think about my social life last year, and it's true that i actually had one, which is a dramatic change. But mostly i don't think i've really changed. I'm still a loner, which is what i prefer because i don't know how to share my feelings or be normal. mostly i like to be alone, which is how i have been since i was a little girl. i suppose there are lots of superficial things that have happened, experiences with drugs alcohol sex (hahaha yeah right) but nothing significant. im still exactly the same way and they didnt really affect my life. i dont get affected by things. the only thing that has changed me was probably this summer and i guess that's it.
I was both banned from my temple and then rejected for membership from the new temple I tried to go to, on the basis of the problems I had with the first one. But it wasn't problems with the religion or the organization, it was personal problems with one clergy member who was in charge and, in my view, abused his power to ban both me and my children (I'm a single mom) from our spiritual home. A horrible experience...and yet, I have learned so much from this journey I didn't want to take. I've learned my own strength, my commitment to my faith, and the transforming power of my love. I am a much different person this year than I was at this time last year. I am grateful for this significant, terrible trauma, and I love more than ever.
The death of my great grandmother, I spent the first months feeling hateful and resentful to the man who Killed her and while that hasn't changed it made me realise that things can change overnight and not to put something off that I could do now.
You know, interesting question. I never thought I would feel this way, this year. I really thought as I got older my relationship with my dad would finally resolve into something that I would be proud of. However, that is not the case, and although I am fuelled with anger every time I see him, I have come to a place of acceptance. I have accepted the fact that the past 18 years of my life have been enriched and guided by my three amazing sisters and mother and that my father never contributed to any part of who I am today, who I have become. I hope one day it hits him that HE'S the one who missed out, not me. Not me, Dad.
In 2000 I met an elderly couple (Ralph and Rosalie) while on vacation in New Mexico. They were incredibly generous and even though they didn't know me, they extended their hospitality and invited me to stay with them on a future visit. I took them up on their invitation and they really made an impact on me. I thought about them often over the years and did manage keep in touch sporadically. This past year, I found Rosalie on Facebook and re-connected. I kept meaning to send a card to let them know how much their spontaneous kindness meant to me. Life got in the way and before I could say "thank you", Ralph passed away. I made up my mind to go to Ralph's memorial in New Mexico and then head to Arizona to visit my aunt. I decided it was time to see the people I love NOW even though my finances are extremely tight. What I realized is that I can't afford to NOT see the people I love. I'm 53 and if I wait any longer, I may not get another chance to catch up, say "thank you", or say "I love you." I live in a rather remote part of the country and this past year I've driven over 4000 miles to see friends and family. I call it my "No Regrets" tour. My only wish is that I had the time and money to see more friends and family.
I had an amazing summer internship in Basel, Switzerland. It was remarkable to make friends in such a short period of time; do meaningful work that really helped people, live in a quaint and beautiful town. I'm incredibly grateful and blessed. God heals in such amazing ways and opens the world up. I was so happy biking to work everyday, swimming in the rhein, exploring places, traveling, not feeling lonely, living an incredibly humbling yet heartwarming life. God is so loving, so real, and sooo faithful.
Finally, after 10 years for my grandmother and four years for my grandfather, I visited their gravesite. It was heart wrenching. It's was literally the first time I sobbed since she passed away. I thought that nothing could be as sad and terrible as the missed unconditional love from my grandmother that would warrent me to cry. The visit and the uncontrolable sobbing was painful, but I also walked away feeling invincible and confident. My grandmother always had the effect on me and even at the gravesite, she was able to help me feel that way again.
I went through one of the toughest and greatest moments in my life... I got divorced... I got divorced with love for my ex-wife and she has love for me. Unfortunately, we just didn't have the love for each other. It was hard to come to this realization, but the support from her and some of my closest friends made it bearable. I am grateful for the experience. I think without gaining the better understanding for myself, my wants, and my needs I would've pushed to stay in the relationship for the sake of staying in the relationship. Deep down, I knew I was unhappy. I was unhappy from the start, but I got married because it was the "right time." Pride kept me married. It was all wrong. I've learned. I'll never get married again because of pressure. I hope that I'll find that someone, someday... but not under the circumstances of this past marriage. I am truly happy now. It is hard and there are sad days, but I know in my heart that I am happy now for the first time in almost a decade.
Going to Bali in June for Smooshi & Jordan's wedding. It was an incredible trip. I hadn't been back to Bali in 10 years. It has changed so much. I am considering moving there in a few years. I can be productive there. But i don't like the way the government controls the ownership of land and housing and of course you can't be insured for anything either. But worse, you can't legally work there, as an American. So hiding behind a native is necessary. That totally sucks. There are plenty of ways to get around it, but if the government finds out about it, you get evicted, and there goes your investment - like building a house, or establishing a clinic or protecting an endangered species through a program run there.
I am thankful to have found love so late in life. I have a partner. I fear losing him.
I went through a really tough break up. I was shattered and felt incredibly lonely and miserable. Then I fell in love and it feels like I'm in love for the first time. All the pain I went through led me to where I am now: happy and in love. I'm treasuring this feeling and I'm treasuring the changes I went through.
I've returned to work after 9 months of maternity leave and having my daughter. It feels like my life has really changed. Having my daughter was a huge experience, but going back to work almost made it feel more permanent - less like a holiday and more like motherhood is my vocation. That sounds strange, as you'd think that if I were a stay at home mum then that would still be my vocation. But I somehow feel like I'm defining the adult I want to become. I want to be successful in my own right, but do the best thing for my daughter and still find time to nurture the love I have for my husband. It's scary, exhilirating and daunting all rolled into one. I just hope I can do my three roles as mother, wife and worker justice.
I got married and that wedding was life-changing (because I now have an amazing husband) and because it inspired us and our whole community. It was a day full of so much love and joy I felt like I was transported somewhere else! I am grateful to be married to my wonderful husband and relieved wedding planning is over! I wish I were still in that joyous place and want to get back there but have been struggling with transitions and health issues. I pray to be reminded of the joy of our union and the reflection of joy and love in all the hearts and faces of our friends and family from that amazing day forward!
I finally went travelling earlier this year and I'm so happy and grateful that I was able to do it. It taught me so much about myself and they were the most amazing 3 months of my life.
One experience had two bookends to it. The experience--7 months ago--was finding out that my wife of 10 years had a number of secret relationships with different men. The first bookend was my discovery of that fact; my confrontation of one of the men; my anger, disappointment, frustration, paranoia that followed. The other bookend was my fall down a set of hard tile stairs, after a night of drinking wallowing in self-pity--which occurred a week ago--and which ended with me having a medium concussion, a broken collar bone, and significant bruising throughout my body. Internally, I have tried to look at this overall experience through a set of spriritual eyes, and have tried to glean its message for me. However, externally I have allowed this experience to be an excuse for me to sabotage my own life and my own efforts, and I have now vowed--after my fall--to end the experience (drop the experience/maiden at the water's edge 5 miles ago, as the Monk once did), and seize each day, extracting therefrom all that is important to me. I vow to continue my marriage--albeit on a zero-tolerance basis--and I vow to make this next part of my life the best, most enjoyable, and most fulfilling personal part of my life.
I moved to Toronto. I had pushed to move to Canada since we moved back to Australia and it sadly didn't meet expectations. The city was nothing more than a badly planned car park full of people with no zest for life. They lived small lives. At first I was disappointed, then annoyed at myself for not being able to make it work. Then I realised that taking risks means not everything you do will succeed. Now I'm at peace and am looking forward to my next adventure in the UK.
My husband died on July 1 this year. I am all of those things - I think I feel every emotion under the sun about it, almost all of the time. But when he did pass - when I got back to the hospital, and saw him finally at peace - all I could say was "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, thank you, thank you, thank you."
I had a hysterectomy. It kept me from skating for a bit which was tougher than I thought. I am only 4 of 8 weeks into recovery and it is going great. I am hopeful and excited about feeling better.
My Mom had a resurgence of cancer and at age 89 decided not to fight it. It was awful in Feb, Mar and April just trying to wrap myself around she would be gone. In May, Jun and July we got used to her being on hospice and were surprised you could get used to such a thing. In August and September the cancer pushed harder and she became far more frail and slept all the time and celebrated her 90th birthday. We found ourselves wearing out trying to find the money for her care, the time to be there for her, and something anything new or bright or cheerful to bring to her restricted existance. I am grateful she adopted me. I am relieved I am the one to care for her. I am inspired by her fortitude and grace at her age. I am exhausted not terribly resentful...although I wouldnt be human if I didnt wish this terrible burden was over.
I started writing poetry again, which I am grateful for. It has helped me begin to process grief in an effective manner - learning to validate the real suffering that I have experienced.
I was very relieved to discover that all my inflamatory markers are down due to better diet, losing weight and exercise. Doctor says my arthritis is not active. Perhaps this is something that I can control with medication! Also, I had a brief mammogram scare (again) that turned out to be nothing. Once again, I am reminded how life can change in a moment. I went to a yoga seminar with Marsha and Ashley the night I got the good news and part of it involved dancing creatively, joyfully. I used this inspiration to step outside my comfort zone and respond to an email asking to volunteers to dance at Presbytery day with Rebecca Segers liturgical dance group. Wow, it has been so much fun. I will be performing on Saturday a dance of gratitude to God for his many, many gifts.
We made Aliyah and moved to Israel. I am so incredibly grateful that Israel exists as a state and that the Law of Return means that I can be an Israeli citizen for the rest of my life, and never have to leave this blessed land if I don't want to. I am relieved to be away from the country of my birth and to now be living in the country that I believe is my true homeland. I am inspired, grateful, relieved, joyous, and fulfilled to be living in Israel.
I lost two people to death in the last year: my mother and my friend B. How it affected me is complicated. I miss B. horribly; his death is also more recent. I miss my mother more than I expected. Watching her die was an experience that nothing really prepares you for. With B. it is more like disbelief. How it's affected me: the reality of my own death is closer. That nothing lasts. That things seem the same until they are not.
After my father dying, having pneumonia, my mom having pneumonia and my brother having stress migraines I realized that I was not the only one who got sick from my emotions in my family. After years of my family making me feel weird, emotional or "too sensitive" I felt equipped to process my fathers death in a healthy way and I was able to be a support for my family. This made me even more grateful for all the troubles I had in my life that taught me coping and processing skills.
I have been promoted at work. It's what I wanted and has worked well. I'm keen to now use it to move onto better things and cement my position. I'm grateful for the chance and eager to push on.
Through a series of most unfortunate events which all started with someone selling me property in Costa Rica which wasn't 100% all theirs to begin with, I lost my property, home, car, and entire savings account. I had lived there 8 years and had invested a lot of money into the place. I'm now facing being homeless in a couple of short weeks. I am of course resentful. I founded a non-profit and have invested over $500,000 into helping communities and organizations here in Costa Rica. But of course I did not do that so that I would be thanked or taken care of. One action does not earn a specific reaction. In part I am grateful. I am not tied down to a specific place. And now that I've had to sell and give away nearly everything I own, I'm not burdened down by many material things. I'm also inspired. I want to take this opportunity to create something even better for myself. I guess I can now live wherever I want and do whatever I please - as long as I can figure out how to pay for it all. As much as I'd like to believe in karma, I can't help but think it's an excuse we have made up so that we can let go of resentment. In any case, one can not change the past. I can only look forward, survive - and hopefully thrive!
There are a couple of major milestones in the last year: 1) Moving in with the man I fell in love with, I am overwhelmed by this new state of being. It is incredible that I come home to him, that I have the stability in the relationship to KNOW he's always there for me. That being said, I am sad that I haven't managed to be entirely honest with my parents about this development, probably because I'm scared of introducing them to such a new and giant life milestone, when they haven't met the guy in person. 2) Receiving the Dissertation Completion Fellowship at Harvard is a huge honor, and I am both grateful and intimidated about what this means for my life. Completing the dissertation means completing this chapter of school, of life, and reworking a new phase, and I'm still unsure as to whether I have the tools to reformulate so much.
Paw Paw's death Going part time
I got a job at Sloan Kettering! I'm going to move this year and I can't wait. Not only for the lifestyle change, but the postdoc really seems to be the best career move for me. I feel so inspired!
My husband has a neuro-muscular disease and in the past year he has deteriorated significantly. There is no treatment and no cure and he is in constant pain. Since I answered these questions last year, the disease has progressed so that he can no longer work. I am grateful that it is not worse than it is, but very scared for our family's future.
I had a child. This will be a recurring theme, I'm sure. It changed EVERYTHING. I am grateful, inspired, blessed, resentful (at times - of the work involved), exhausted, more patient, more appreciative of my parent's work, and overwhelmed all of the time. It has changed the things I focus on during the day, the conversations I have with people, what I think about on my runs...everything.
I started a new job, at an office! Quite a welcome change from working at home isolated from the world. The best part of the experience has been expanding my social network, and specifically, the friendship I've formed with my coworker Ashlee. I'm grateful to have a job, in a great office, with a great group of coworkers. Are there caveats? Sure. But overall this has been a welcome change.
This year has been a one of big changes. I moved clear across three states and the settled into what could almost be a career path for me, instead of just a job. But, as cliché as it sounds, the most meaningful experience – out of all the ups and downs – has been my trip to Israel with birthright. I hesitated for so long to apply/register following through with the trip – and with my last window of opportunity (I’m 26) I took a leap of faith and went this summer. The trip was eye opening and exciting. It was challenging and stressful. I got even more out of it than I expect. Though I probably won’t speak to most of these people ever again – they have captured a part of my soul that will always remain theirs. This experience made me value not only my heritage and my family – but it made me really start to think introspectively about what it means to ME to be Jewish and an American. It was shocking to come back to the stats, after only 10 days of being gone, feeling like a totally different person. It’s been several months and I’m still readjusting to this new world.
A friend/co-worker asked me to fill in for her for 6 months, knowing it would do me good. It did, and as a result I met and was able to work with (and now call friend) one of the most decent people I've probably ever met. I am grateful. Extremely so.
My privacy was invaded when my apartment was broken into and I was robbed of pretty much everything valuable in my apartment. I had to deal with a pill of a landlord, and then move out in a hurry. It made me realize that I often take my safety for granted and that I need to be smart about where I am and who is around me at all times. It also made me more aware of my surroundings, and actually more confident in defending myself. It also opened my eyes to how other people see the world in seeing how others reacted to this, especially my roommate at the time. It also reminded me that I have incredible support in my friends and family.
I went to Israel on Birthright. It was a whirlwind of 10 days, with stunning highs and lows. It made me want to travel, it made me appreciate my life and my friendships at home, it made me understand more about Israel that you can't understand merely from talking about it. It did not make me more religious. I did not meet best friends. I met a few people, who have largely not changed my life or remained in my life at all, with one exception.
I decided to change my career. I don't know what it will change to, yet, but I do know that I want to have more time with family and a healthier working environment.
At age 65, I experienced two difficulties (the death of a close friend after months of suffering, and a turning point conflict with my mentally ill and verbally abusive youngest brother who cannot accept my decisions as trustee of his special needs trust, that impelled me to face my own aging, and my need to set boundaries and limits on what kinds of abuse I will take even from my brother. This opened me to the need to ask for help, which I received from a wonderful friend/therapist. From these wellsprings I am beginning to learn how to refuse responsibilities that harm me. I have come to new understandings of my need to open my heart to the good I can do in the world and see clearly and accept what I cannot do. At this point I feel relieved of feeling doomed to carry a burden which has caused me suffering all my life, and grateful for the help I received. I have more work to do on this and am eager to continue.
The few days when I wondered if I could be pregnant were terrifying. It made me think about the life I want to have when I'm older, the family I want to have, the qualities I want in the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, etc. Most of all the fact that I have a lot of time left to accomplish other goals before I settle down. It's really made me think about my life and the way I manage my time.
My girlfriend, who I had been dating for over a year and with whom I thought I would be in a long-term partnership, ended our relationship without any warning. Shortly thereafter, I started a relationship with "the one who got away," a person I'd longed for ever since I met him five years earlier. I experienced profound pain and confusion when my ex-girlfriend broke up with me, but also realized that her decision created space for me to be with someone I'd wondered about for a long time. I'm still processing the experience, but overall, I feel grateful that something wonderful arose out of something terrible, and a little in awe at the mysterious workings of the universe.
There have been 3 big events for me this year: I counseled my first real clients, I met the mayor, and I organized/executed a huge teen pregnancy prevention awareness event. Counseling my first clients was a humbling experience. I know that I have been training hard for that moment, but it was amazing to know that there were actually people who would trust me to work with them! I had 4 clients, and I believe 2 of them showed real growth, so I'm proud. This experience also convinced me to go to therapy myself, so that I could learn about myself and creating better boundaries. The other 2 events happened because of work. I met the mayor of SA when he came to film part of a movie about teen pregnancy prevention. We talked for just long enough for me to walk him in from the parking lot, but for me it was a big deal! Later in the year, he was the keynote speaker at the Democratic National Convention. He's labeled as a real rising star in the Democratic Party, and I met him! The teen pregnancy event was a proud moment for me because I came up with the idea, but no one seemed to really believe it would work. It required a lot of trust in the young people we work with, and there was a lot of doubt from my team members. But I pushed through, organized the event, and the day came where the event went off without a hitch. We had over 10o people come and engage in a conversation about teen pregnancy prevention. It was awesome to see our young people shine in that way. I'm proud that I trusted them.
1000 km on the motorcycle was a hell of experience. Also, i made some big decisions that can change some aspects of my life.
I moved to Utah and began a seasonal job at a ski lodge. It was a great choice and I confirmed my inkling that I would love working in a hotel. I feel grateful that I had the opportunity to work at such a wonderful little place in a stunningly beautiful spot. It led to another job in a location I have always wanted to work and I am now unsure about ever living in the city again.
My partner and I became Vegan and also went through a big cleanse together. It is amazing how little credit is given to these types of shared experiences. I am grateful for having this opportunity to share with him and for the clarity it has brought me in connecting with my body more authentically than ever before.
I hit my rock bottom. Spent months in bed hiding from life, but emerged from it through the help of the most amazing support system. I am so grateful for experiencing the darkness because it allows me to see my light even more bright. My life has turned significantly since this time, and is blossoming more beautifully than I could have imagined a year ago!
My young teen daughter was desperately unhappy with everything in her life...I know that many teens are, but she had always seemed so happy and well-adjusted. It came as a complete shock when she admitted that she had been contemplating suicide. We enrolled in family therapy and she has learned healthy ways to deal with stress and emotions, and I've learned how to be a better parent. I am immensely relieved that she felt able to admit these things to me before she acted out or ended her life. I feel like we got a second chance, and I'm so grateful for that gift, and the gift of my daughter.
I told my ex-boyfriend, who I slept with off and on, that I couldn't have sex casually anymore. After that, we got in a committed relationship, which is the best relationship of my life.
began renovating an old house. I had no idea how many tiny details there would be. i was relieved to have a partner who likes to talk things over.
Well i know it doesnt seem significant, but the day i realized how much i love my girlfriend. She affects me everyday in a positive way, it gives me something to look forward to everyday to hear her voice or see her beautiful. I am grateful to have her in my life i couldn't ask for anyone better. She inspires me everyday to keep going and she reminds me that i always have some there for me.
Early in 5772, after a brief illness, my father died. His death made me very reflective, and perhaps a little depressed. Although he lived a great life and left an enduring legacy of family and friends, his death still seemed too final and sudden. Through the year, my feelings have mellowed, but his memory is still fresh in my waking and in my dreams, as I take my place at the vanguard. I still miss his advice -- however often I ignored or resented it while he was alive.
I went to Israel with my grade at school for 3 months. At the time, I don't think it felt that life changing, but now I realize that it completely changed how I view my grade, Judaism, and life in general. Although I don't remember it as a wholly positive experience, it helped me move along on my path in life.
The birth of my daughter. It is true, all the old cliches about how you don't really know what love is until you have a child of your own. I am thankful for every moment with her and do my best to absorb some of the wonder I see in her eyes. I am thankful that I waited until I was older (32) to have her. I don't think I would have had the same level of patience and appreciation for her if I'd had her when I was younger.
The worst thing is that I can't recall a significant experience. I wish I could. Everything is just rumbling along, but nothing major is happening.
I struggled with a somewhat failing business last year. Just when things were tough, an idiot came along and forced me to pretty much close down and cost me a lot of money, money I didn't have to be fair. That was October 2011. I started a new job in Feb 2012 which has gone from strength to strength and my other businesses (run separately in the background but were part of Financial Bliss) have also begun to increase and get better and better. I am grateful, relieved and semi successful. Watch this space!
I realize now that I experienced a physical and emotional burnout after two deaths in my family, my only child going off to college and bad work experience. It was a wake up call to make a series of physical, emotional and mental changes or else I was not going to get better.
Transferring to Georgia Southern is the biggest thing that has happened to me this year. I escaped the restraints that was my mom and am blossoming into a new person. I'm grateful I get to experience this as my own being
I turned 50 years old in January. I feel very grateful to have made it to this age. I want to honor my body by getting back in shape and losing some weight. It was a fun birthday!
I quit my job in February. Not having to work for Dave is a weight off my shoulders. Very relieved, but I've been struggling with what being unemployed means for my sense of self, and what spending all my savings means for me in the future.
A couple things happened this year. I graduated college. I'm currently looking for a job. And I'm stressed. I'm not exactly sure what my future holds for me anymore. I would like to go Grad school but I'm not sure I'll able to get in with it being so competitive. I'm a bit resentful at myself for not taking it more seriously. And each time I start looking into how to go about fixing it, I get overwhelmed, stressed out, and I just can't deal with it. Also, I spent a week with the man I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. It was wonderful. I learned that we truly have grown and moved on from all the mistakes that we've made in the past. And though we still have our problems, what relationship doesn't? I can't wait to begin the rest of my life with him. For this I am grateful, and relieved. Because they say you never really know someone until you live with them.
Husband was laid off from his job. I always thought it would a huge potential deal breaker kind of thing for me but in the end of it all, I don't care. I don't care about the money we will go without, I don't really even care if he gets another job right away. It was a terrible job with a horrible boss at a company that totally mismanaged its employees. I wish he was able to see this event as impersonal to him and was a little less embarassed but in the end, I am surprised how much I don't care and am willing to stick it out.
I got to take the year off from teaching. It was so lovely, though at times quite tiring, to be home with my amazing daughters. I'm so grateful to have had the time watching them grow and develop into the amazing little cuties that they are.
I have fallen apart. When answering last year’s questions, my grandmother had just died and I had started school. Well, I still don't understand why my grandma had to die (especially such an awful death) and I hate school. I'm not going back. I feel like I have lost my faith. I'm angry. My happy relationship is falling apart because I'm insecure and can't trust. Anger, sadness, fear... that's been every day of my life for the last year.
This past year I studied abroad in Paris--how cliché right? But it honestly was a significant experience in my life, looking back. Yes, I got to travel to many different places that I will probably never visit again as well as experience many different cultural settings and celebrations like St. Patty's in Ireland or a pub crawl in Croatia. I saw beautiful things and learned to push my personal boundaries, most definitely. But what I weirdly have decided was the most beneficial were my experiences in dealing with the people who accompanied me during this time. I lived with friends, three of whom I had known before going to Paris. While they all remain friends, I found true friendship in one of them, living, learning, and growing with her--partly due to "dealing" with our other two friends. Many people on this trip really displayed their true colors throughout the trip, which is encouraged. For me they somewhat held me back from going full throttle because these individuals were scared or too immature, etc. When I told their stories upon returning to the states, may of my family and friends asked "how did you do it?" And when I looked back now, I'm proud that I "did it," that my intolerance and harsh demeanor were permeated by these individuals, helping me to grow in different ways than the norm. I found out a lot about myself and going forward I've realized that I'm actually very flexible and I have the power to invest in people and not just shut them down for petty reasons. I am more grateful than most will know for my semester abroad.
Briana moved out. I'm relieved in a way, because all of the tension is gone. But I hope he does a good job parenting her and keeping tabs on her.
Again, I lost my job - this time, in a new and entirely intimidating city. I was forced to pick up the pieces and figure it all out in uncertain terms, and without a safety net. Among other things, it put a mirror up to nature and forced me to take a hard evaluation of my life and things I need to take care of. This opened up a time of serious self-reflection and ramping up to move on. I am proud of myself thus far for being scrappy and level-headed. This period of time is difficult, but I bet far too much on myself to not land on my feet.
I finally completed my Master's degree. It took me a long time to do, and I never thought I would finish my thesis, but lo and behold, I forced myself to get it done (with a lot of help from the family, of course). It was a challenging endeavor--especially while having an infant baby--but one that I'm very proud that I accomplished.
I got married! Because of a personal situation, we did not have a lot of time to plan, but it was the most beautiful wedding.... I may be biased though. I was extremely grateful for all the love from my family and their support and help. I am relieved that it went off without a hitch and I am so happy to have shared this with our family and friends. I was a little upset because I was hoping that, by this point, a certain set of family members would have accepted my conversion to Judaism, but found that they had not and were more resentful. Ultimately, however, I am overjoyed with my husband and our new house.
I realize a part of my life was in neglect. Hit me when I came home one day and realized that my room hasn't changed the last four years. A pile of mess I told myself to clear was still there after four years. The state of my room was like the state of my mind. I realize I wasn't paying that much attention to myself, didn't grow myself that much emotionally and spiritually. And I think I was lookin a lot outward than inward, focusing my energies on my startup and troubleshooting my relationship issues and not myself. Suddenly, I felt so sad. Pitied myself. Realized I lack self love. Yup, that's the word. Self-love. I began to start picking my life together and start living more for myself, by starting with my room. Made decision to talk it through with my bf, the way I did it wasn't ideal but the intention was to focus more on myself, to be a bit more selfish for once. I also started smoking. I swore to myself that I would never smoke and I thought I wouldnt since I hated the smell too. I was emotionally and mentally fluid, ready to try anything new. Didn't regret the decision at all. Everytime I smoke, a solution to my problem will magically surface. I also kind of cheated. Wasn't like me to do those kind I things too. I know I'm a good person and I Wasn't intentionally trying to hurt anyone. But I wanted to do what I wanted, to discover a possible love outside the rocky relationship I was in where we quarreled everyday and I couldn't bring myself to love this person whole heartedly. I wanted to do what I wanted without caring for someone's feelings and restrain myself. This guy was a bad Choice, but did I regret it? Yes because my bf found out and he was hurt, no because I realize something is missing from my relationship and myself, something I wouldn't have otherwise found out. I feel very happy when I'm out with this guy, truly happy, but I could never really know him as a person or be with him because he is emotionally immature so I chose to let go. Made me realize that my emotions and thoughts can strongly cloud my perception of reality and that I'm propelled to do things based on what I think is a rational decision but it really isn't. I also don't know what I really want, only knew what inwant myself to feel, to go back to happiness, when what it really is is all in my head. Gotta stop myself from continually falling into a trap or distractions.
I asked my husband for a divorce. I am relieved, excited and yet scared, but most definitely hopeful.
The significant culmination that occured this year in August was the finalization of my divorce from Denny. At every turn I have been encouraged to move forward with this important life change. On the day of the signing, I wore my pearls and my mom's favorite perfume, Cabuchard. The signing itself was uneventful, but ended three years of uncertainty regarding my retirement and financial future. I can say this was an understated moment of profound relief, gratitude and appreciation for the support I have received from my friends and the holy ones guiding my hand.
I quit my job to be a stay at home mom. At first, I was panicked, because after being a working mom for the past 3 years, I wasn't sure I had what it takes to be a stay at home mom. I am eternally grateful for the extra time I get with my babies, and I am still somewhat panicky and doubtful, but I am feeling more confident in my ability to do this.
I kashered my kitchen, I finally am closer to have a traditional lifestyle.
I served on jury duty and was put on an intense case. I am grateful for the experience as a whole, it was interesting learning the system, I got to know some interesting people, and it was a great experience that everyone should have! I have to say I am relieved that it ended after two weeks!
Our dear friends lost their baby. We stayed in the hospital for days with them and I witnessed her birth and death simultaneously. I am still not certain how it affected me because the aftermath has been so intense, confusing, perplexing and unexpected (just like her death). I am grateful to have seen the strength of my two dear friends in the moment she was born. I am grateful to have witnessed their love for one another. I am grateful that I could hold this tiny baby, without breath, and feel at peace somehow. As this experience has played out it has morphed in to something else and I'm not sure about my feelings moving forward.
I fell in love. I believe that this is the man that God has prepared for me, he is everything that I have hoped for in a man to spend forever with and more. I am humbled, deeply grateful, and overwhelmed by such extravagant love from him and the Lord.
Aliya, feel very good about it. External events do not change me internally that much any more, or maybe the external events I live are not really that important.
I started working as a hospice chaplain. For which I had trained and which a year ago, I thought I'd never find a job doing this work. I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity and the personal and professional growth I am experiencing.
Falling in love FOR REAL!!! Actually caring about his feelings, his happiness, and accepting him as he is. I am truly grateful for this because it helped me realize and see all the love around me. It made me not only love him but love life. It gave me a greater appreciation for those who show me love. Family and strangers. I learned how much better expressing love feels then being loved. So now I work hard to show love whenever I can. A smile to a stranger, walking my dog, being pleasant and kind. Love really is all around you and I plan to embody it fully.
I started a new job! I have never been happier at any other job other than being a mother. I couldn't be more grateful as it has brought me great relief both personally and financially. I am inspired daily by my co-workers, bosses and our clientelle as our store serves women and children in need. I have a purpose now that gives me a sense of responsibility to others; others I have never even met.
I was with my father in law when he passed away. I was so privileged to be with him as he took his last breath. I held his hand, told him how much I'd loved him and that he was not alone. It was a beautiful moment very peaceful , not frightening at all and I am so grateful that I was there to witness it.
Moving out of my parents house, thus solidifying my independence personally and financially has been the primary focus of this past year. The moving in and furnishing, albeit with my dad's hand-me-down-single-days furniture, was a weekend. Just a blip. But really learning how to live on my own is something I find that I am still learning. It's been more about how to find my own doctors and buy my own camping equipment recently, but over the year really creating a sense of how I want to live and who I want to be. That being said, I appreciate online payment set-up so I don't forget about paying my bills. I hear those are important. But also what I have come to realize is that independence is not static. Every change will spark an adjustment where the name of the game becomes more about transition and adaptation. Whatever it is, bring it on.
My son was officially diagnosed with autism after much hemming and hawing (and a diagnosis that didn't put him on the spectrum). What a relief after being so frustrated with trying to figure out what was "wrong" with him. Now that we know there's this disorder, he has the support, therapy, and room to grow. And he is blossoming every day!!
My Best friend Peter got sick in November and past away in January 2nd. I just can't believe someone that has been in your life for 15 years can be gone and you can survive it. I am going to make something great out of my life it cant all be in vain. I will be more presents with those that know me, I want to be a better friend, brother, lover and specially find something I truely love to dedicate the rest of my life to and inspires others in the name of such an incredible friend. (Peter I miss you so much)
Something significant is that I quit my teaching job that I'd been at for the last four years. I was not happy and due to an extremely disrespectful boss, who refused to let me attend a free conference, I quit. No job in the works, nothing. I'd never known I was that stressed about my job in the first place until I sent in my resignation letter! After that, I had about a month off, interviewed for another teaching job and got hired within the hour. Needless to say, everything worked out for the best and I'm loving my career that much more!
My son, E., finally had the breakdown that we'd been waiting for throughout elementary school. He fell apart to such a significant degree that we had to pull him out of our neighborhood school, and put him into a little home school nearby. This collapse -- plus, not insignificantly, money I inherited from my grandmother -- spurred us to invest in a number of services we'd been putting off for awhile. So we changed psychiatrists and paid for comprehensive testing and hired a behaviorist. I also persuaded him to get off of gluten, which apparently was a major systemic irritant to him. He's not 100 percent better, but he's functioning and able to attend events and participate to a much larger degree in our family's life. As for me, I am inspired by E's determination to "get better," no matter how hard that is. He is now attending that little school, with only 9 other kids, fulltime, and that is a major accomodation he is making. I am impressed by his willingness to do whatever it takes. I am also feeling very cautiously hopeful that we are finally on the right track with him. I've been here before and had my hopes dashed but this time feels different. This time, the progress feels more solid and grounded. Finally, I feel exhausted by the effort this has taken. Getting him to a place of functioning, from where he was last spring, was nearly all-consuming. I am looking forward to a year where I have time to myself and can plan my days like my friends around me do.
The birth of my 1st great grand child. Grateful and inspired.
This year was quite monumental for me as I applied and got accepted into grad school overseas and therefore moved countries. I think it affected me in ways that are yet to be determined but I am immensely grateful for the opportunity and feel very humbled (and a bit scared) but the faith that people have placed in me. Leaving my parents was hard because in the lead up to leaving we became even closer.
I believe that each day is a significant experience. Every day is different. Each day brings different challenges, joys, sorrows than the previous days. I am grateful to have experienced each day over the past year and for being able to face and deal with the challenges and relish each joy, and survive each sorrow.
My son was out of work for three months this year. I was quite worried about him and it placed stress on my wife who doesn't handle stress well. He got a new job that he loves but i continue to worry about his future.
A close friend passed away from cancer. He was just 35 and had so much to live for. He left behind his wife and 18 month old son. We were all in shock when we heard the diagnosis and I had this sense of impending doom looming over me in the months that followed, as I wasn't sure if he would beat such an aggressive and advanced cancer. When he passed I felt such a sense of sorrow for those that he was closest with; his family and close circle of friends. I suppose that I was in that circle, but didn't really feel badly for myself, since he wasn't a part of my daily life. His wife's dreams are crushed. His son will grow up without a memory of his father. It made me realize how fragile life really is and he taught us all a good lesson in living life to its fullest each day; a philosophy he lived by. It taught me that life isn't fair, that no matter how much good you do, there are no guarantees in life. It also taught me to put things in perspective and that as long as at the end of the day, the people you life are safe and well, nothing is that bad.
I fell in love. I am grateful to be with someone who I care so much about and who cares for me equally. I am disappointed, though, that I allowed this to distract me from getting a new job, which was my goal for this year.
I turned 50. I feel tremendous gratitude for so many blessings in my life: good health for every single person in my family and circle of friends; taking steps toward a healthy environment - inside and out - with pachamama, juicing, better place car, social action and tav hevrati; I'm alive!; happily married; raised great kids; living my dream in Israel; have a beautiful home; have my parents and nana and step-parents all alive and well. I do feel inspired for all the blessings to come in the second half-century of my life!
So many! The biggest two are getting engaged and officially converting to Judaism. Getting engaged was wonderful. I love B so much and really think we make a great match. I am excited to share my life with him. It just feels right. He makes me a better me. I am a little worried about our financial situation but I think together we can get through it. Converting was a much more difficult and drawn out process and decision. Being Jewish and learning together with B feels good and feels like the home I have been longing for for a long time. I love the experiences I have had and will continue to have in the coming years. Overall I so grateful to be alive and be able to choose for myself: My husband, my way of life, my faith, my religion, my traditions and my future. I have never been more grateful for just being alive.
This seems so petty, my home morgage was modified. The extra cash with the increased income has made a huge diffrence in my frame of mind. I have been able to work out repayments on the credit debt I have and am in good financial shape for the first time in years. I am thankful, grateful and hugely relieved. Now I feel inspired to do even better!
Connected to someone from my past & fallen in love. Though I denied it I was very distressed to not have that special person in my life. I wanted to be with someone who not only understands me but knows where I came from. I am extremely grateful. I have finally found the person I have waited my whole life for.
My beloved mother-in-law passed away just as my youngest daughter was graduating from college. It was a bittersweet time. But the thougtht that kept running through my head was "you have a second chance." Not sure why, but I've been thinking about what it means and what I would do differently given a second chance.
I got married and I got pregnant - I can't separate the two in importance. I feel grateful, relieved, inspired, and full of love and excitement for the future.
I did well in my exams. Not as well as I had dreamed of, but pretty damn good. Relieved; I can now go to whichever university I want. Irritated; I could definitely have worked harder. Hopeful; I'm definitely nowhere near my peak and I can keep going up from here.
I joined the Peace Corps. The past eleven months have been one of the most difficult periods of my life. I am exhausted, frustrated, and miserable on a daily basis. And at the same time, I have met amazing people who inspire and support me, and I feel like I am learning more about myself and my world and growing more as a person than I would almost anywhere else.
I went to New York City for the first time. Well, I had two very brief visits before; one for about an hour and another for one day. This time, I had about 10 days. In addition to falling in love with the city, I also came to realize that my partner's family is also MY family. After being with my partner for over 11 years, I am about as related to them as you can be without having the legal blessing of marriage. So, they are my "in laws," but without the law. That was a significant realization. The trip was a wonderful experience.
In the last year there have been many events: I passed my first year of medical school, a relationship ended, and I took part a community outreach experience. I believe these things have all been helping shape my future in a positive/constructive way. I was very humbled by my lack of knowledge in the first year of school, it was nothing like high school and college, and I spent a lot more time studying and trying to keep up. With that, I had much less time to dedicate to a relationship and struggled to make it work. I believe my priorities have changed but I am more comfortable with what I can offer and what time I have. The community outreach experience showed me that I can spend all my time in the library learning medicine, or I can learn the shortcomings of the health care system in person. I believe this is all shaping me into becoming a better/more well-rounded and conscientious doctor.
The highlight of the year for me personally was performing in the PTO play. Being on stage again, singing and performing was phenomenal. I am so grateful to Amanda Palmer for inspiring me to do it. Don't Dream It, Be It!
I was fired from my job in March of this year. Was it inevitable? Maybe. I felt it was coming so I started looking and had 3 offers on the day I got canned. While it was stressful it was not as bad as it could have been. I was able to land a similar job, in a different line of business, which was a change. I am also 100% virtual which is AMAZING. It has a whole set of different challenges, but as someone who hates pants, not such a bad thing. However it seem to be much less lucrative than what I was doing before. I don't know if I made the right decision. Only time will tell. I am curious to read this in a year and compare to where I am.
My marriage was in the darkest place it's ever been. But with patience and persistence, we're right back where we used to be -- the most awesome couple ever!
(Note to self: You are three days behind in answering these questions but you don't want to do what you did in 2011, which was just not do them because you got a late start) OMG. Significant experience? One? Oh, no. It might just be that not much of any significance happened in this past year until October when I went for my first ever colonoscopy and they discovered six or seven polyps with one of them being cancerous. Surgery was scheduled for November 8th. It was a big deal, a long recovery. I had a reaction to the drugs in the hospital and went a little bonkers got an infection in the incision and did not return to work until after the new year. On December 8th, as I was lying down waiting for Mama to return with bandages to dress my surgery wound, Jarib called and said they could not rouse Tyler awake and they were taking him to the hospital in an ambulance. About two hours later Mark called and gave me the news that Tyler "did not make it." And just like that, my life changed in a split second. We had the funeral on December 13th. I googled his obituary just now to make sure I had the correct date for the funeral. We had to wait so long for the body to be brought back from Pennsylvania. It is unfathomable that it is now nearly a year since he has been gone. In March I had a second surgery to remove a lump from underneath my jawline. Now I can't feel my ear and my right eye sometimes seems to be slow in opening in the mornings. And it feels to me like there is still a knot that has only moved further up my jawline closer to my ear. We started about a month ago working on getting the little house fixed up so that we can stay in it again. We are having a family get together on Saturday, September 22, the day that would have been Tyler's 25th birthday. We all miss him so much. I guess I described more than one significant event from last year. All in all, I am grateful. It has been a tough year but God has carried us through and has given me a sense of peace as I have walked through these storms. In some ways, I feel like I have been opened up because of these life events. I have learned (am learning) to ask for and accept help when I need it. I have learned (I learning) to accept and practice vulnerability in my life. Oh, yeah, that's another significant event--Brene` Brown's "Ordinary Courage" online class. I didn't know it at the time but that class was preparatory learning to help me face the things I was going to have to face. I am grateful.
Graduating from college was a pretty big milestone, and all the crazy months leading up to it. I felt accomplished, happy, scared, sad, a lot of things all at once. It also made me feel old, like four years of my life just fell away really fast. And now I'm reeling from it. I haven't quite gotten my balance yet.
In the past 12 months I've had load of time with my daughter Charlotte. For the most part it has been pretty fluid. I had access restricted in January and then again since July. I'm tired of the constant battle my ex presents her unwavering focus on the self. But I am grateful that my daughter is sSOOOOO amazing... I have been contracting with various organisations and have had an amazing opportunity to work for myself which has been wonderful. I'm obviously a bit distracted and struggling, even at 37 to find what it is I really want from the world, or how I can leave my mark, I have a tendency to start and not finished and yesterday just received a rejection letter from Swinburne graduate psychology which I have to say was a bit disappointing, the key for me is to keep trying... I'm inspired to become a motivational coach...
I started working on a masters degree in Adult Education. The foundations Institute I attended to begin the program was a life-changing experience. I feel a renewed sense of purpose and look forward to the work ahead.
A significant experience that happened this year was going to a new church. It has shown fruit meaning we are changing for the better. It's a mixed bag of feelings but as I go on in time; I think that feelings should submit to my spirit-person. If I did everything that my flesh wanted I would be in one heck of a mess...
we found out (a few days ago) we are pregnant after a long road to get here! I am so grateful , relieved, shocked, overwhelmed, joyous, scared, afraid-to-jinx, blessed and wondrous, mostly wonderous. While i would never have wanted and felt quite resentful of the journey to get here, I learned a lot from it too, how strong my husband and I are together, what a wonderful man he is, who are the friends who are really there for me (most people, even those i didn't know cared) and who really care about me only as it relates to them or just aren't capable of being "that kind of friend" (they maybe used to be, or will be again, or have other gifts, but i need to learn to accept for what they are.) i learned a lot about patient acceptance and was challenged this year with new challenges to come I know!
My daughter was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis. I feel sad that she has to have this experience, overwhelmed with the logistics, amazed at what we learn to endure, and profoundly grateful for the good health care we have, the support of our friends and family, and her relative health.
My second son was born. At first i was a little skeptical at becoming a father for the second time. This may have been said last year, But this year he has grown into a lovable little man who, along with my other son, make me proud. I got a raise at work after our developer left on bad terms. I won something that didn't require skill, it's the first time since i was about 5 that i won something that didn't require skill and just good fortune.
My beloved grandma died at age 97. I was her first grandchild and always felt a special bond (although she was good at making everyone feel special). She knew my secrets and, as life passed, I knew some of hers. She taught me about love and marriage, about listening, about connecting one person to another. In her last months, she became a great-great grandmother--and I had the rare opportunity to be a grandmother with a grandmother. Now, as I watch my own grandchild grow, I keep my grandma's memory close and ask her often "is this how it was for you?"
In the last year I became part of Occupy Wall Street, and spent 40 hours in jail because of it. I learned what it means to be passionate, to live for purpose, and that I am not alone. I think that forever, that moment will inspire me to be a better person, and not lose sight of what I believe in.
I realised this year that I could love myself. It changed my life!
I was unable to pay my bills without going into debt for the first time. This was a painful experience. I made me really stop and look at how I was living my life. I was stuck in a never ending cycle of consumer driven greed. Because I went shopping for items I did not need I was not able to pay my most basic bills. It was an extremely humble way to come into the new year. I wonder if perhaps this is the most humble I have ever gone into a new year. It caused me to really look at what is important, what I was doing with my life and how complacent I had been with growing my business. I realized truly the only way out of my situation was to work harder, have faith, and pray for a better 5773.
I had the opportunity to meet a great girl, get to know her very well, and even though our relationship has evolved we still remain close. I am grateful for the time we spent together, but excited at the possibilities that the future holds. I hope to keep in touch and be warm/friendly with her in the future. Another significant experience was my graduation from college. It was a whirlwind experience, and overly stressful. It was supposed to be a time of joy, but the overwhelming stressors unfortunately made it difficult to enjoy at the time. Regardless, it was a momentous occasion, and a great experience looking back. Not to mention all the festivities that went along with it - Grad Week, and spending the last couple days with great friends in a great place. In addition, I was accepted into graduate school at NYU-Poly. I've had an amazing opportunity to meet incredible people and am quickly getting settled. School is school, and I'm in the process of developing good friends. Hopefully this trend continues. I'm grateful for the amazing experiences I've had, the people I've met, and the future opportunities that lie ahead of me. In this new year I hope to be more embracing of the present moment, and not overly distracted by things outside of my control (Sarah. Love something - let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, you have to wonder if it was ever really yours in the first place.)
I had major surgery for the first time in my life and I had to accept help from friends and family. I'm usually the one giving, not receiving. It was a little difficult, but I embraced it and was surprised at the help that arrived in the form of friends that I thought were just acquaintances. It was a very touching experience.
I moved house for the first time in 15 years. I'm not sure if I'm grateful or relieved yet, it's too soon to tell. We were forced to move because of earthquake damage, and I hate change, but I think it may be a good thing in the end, because it stops me stagnating.
The killing of Osama Bin Laden. I felt relieved and knew that our country had some closure to 9/11 despite the controversy. It brought our country together for a night and we all rejoiced in a way after so much crap has happened in the past several years w/ our bad economy.
I received recognition for volunteering. It made me feel valued, and little uncomfortable with the attention, and hopeful that others might decide to become involved with that organization.
I travelled to Ghana for three weeks in May. The experience has marked me deeply, and will affect the career path I choose in the near future, I believe. My love for helping the underprivileged, for inspiring those who are in a rut, for seeing the good and positive things in everyone I meet, has only increased since getting back to the States.
I read "Have a Little Faith " by Mitch Albom and was inspired by the Reb, who exemplifies the person I strive to be. I will re-read the book every couple of months to keep reminding myself of the things ghat are important to Mr.
The annual eclipse in May was oddly and spiritually reaffirming. We had a date with the moon and the sun, and we had a fine day outing for it. And the moments in that shadow really drove home that sense of our place in the Universe. It was wonderful -- in the classic sense of the word.
I broke up with my boyfriend. I'm still a little numb and it was already 4.5 months ago.. I will be grateful in the long run that I did this. And even in the short run I must say that I'm so happy I didn't go into this year with the unclear thinking I had while I was still with him. I'm relieved. I'm resentful to men in general for being sooo difficult as partners. Why can't they take care of themselves? I'm not inspired at all :( I'm looking for inspiration.
Jeremiah's major chest surgery in January. I have never been so scared/relieved/happy/hurt/saddened as I was by the whole experience. It was really difficult to see him in so much pain and so weak, since he's always been such a pillar of strength. It was also difficult catering entirely to one person when there was already so much going on between wedding planning and prepping for the new semester. We've really grown through the whole deal, though, and I'm so grateful to see the change in his health, ego, and self-image.
I was fired from my job. I am very relieved. I was not being effective and I was suffering as a result. I am grateful that I had the courage to take the job, which I'd considered my dream job, and am now complete with it! I'm nervous about not having a job, and having so many bills to pay, but I am trusting that it will all work out.
I finally admitted to myself I was an alcoholic and surrendered my will to Gods. Grateful-resounding YES! Relieved-most days. Resentful-working on it one day at a time. Inspired-sometimes.
During the past year the building in which my therapy practice has been located for twenty five years has changed hands. The new owners have done a major remodel, which they think has improved the building, but which has stripped it of personality. They want control of all public areas in terms of art and furniture, and their taste is very bland and cold. I hate it. We worked hard to make the building our own emotionally and we succeeded. I hate having that feeling destroyed, especially in the name of "improvement". On the other hand, I've learned that I am less dependent than I felt on the building or my partners to create exactly the atmosphere I want inside my therapy office. I feel sad that so much change can happen even in ares of my life that seemed unchangeable. Its also a wakeup call. Anything can change.
I got accepted to and began rabbinical school! We moved from D.C. to Boston, and I feel happy and fulfilled and grateful every day. This is a dream come true.
The largest experience this past year has been shifting from working as a solo (artist) programmer to working as a team leader with 20+ engineers in India. I have long resisted this transition, for good reasons it turns out. "Delegating' is much more difficult than it sounds, but the difficult part turns out to be two parts compassionate understanding of the people and situation at hand and three parts performing the role of coach and educator. I believe this has made me a better person and will serve me in my future days handsomely.
I tore the distal tendon in my right arm. I was paralyzed for three days until surgery. I'm still rehabbing and have permanent nerve damage. I have chosen to view this as an opportunity to change how I live my life and when I start feeling down. I just remember how much better off I am than others who have more severe disabilities.
Passing my driver's test: 1. getting my license- finally! I took the test a month before my 21st birthday and if I were to fail I would have to retake my permit as it was about to expire. Thankfully, I passed on the first try. 2. Which was great because when I took a vaca to California with my friends it turned out the designated driver couldn't drive the rental as she wasn't 21 yet. I pretty much learnt to drive on the highways of Los Angeles. 3. It's a relief to have a license. The possibility of independence is intoxicating. I can rent a car and just go. Doesn't matter if I do or don't. Just the potential is thrilling.
I found out about an active second addiction in the person I love. This has caused me great pain. I am unsure of my own ability to assess a situation. I do not trust my own feelings. I feel lonely, rejected, and very sad. Right now, I am not grateful for this--it is painful for me, and harrowing for the person I love. Perhaps in time, this will lead to us finally growing into an intimate and sharing relationship, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Right now, it feels very difficult, and I still do not trust my loved one's motivations. We are working on it though. Resentful? Yes. I am weary and tired of dealing with the addict personality. Inspired? Yes, too. I am finally getting help for myself to stop being forgiving to a fault, loving to a fault, and helpful to a fault. I am trying to learn my own wants and needs, trying to state those with honesty and compassion and trying to find my healthy boundaries. I can be grateful for that outcome. Another significant experience was finally doing the one thing that I postponed because of another person. This surgery I chose has helped me feel better physically and emotionally. But it has also triggered the addict in my life. It is tough to finally have stood up for what I needed, and have disaster happen. Does it always happen when I stand up for myself? No. But this time, we have big, big, fall out to deal with. Not my fault, not his either. It is based on our past wounds, and fears. I hope we can get through this and be more connected, intimate, less fearful, and feel safe to be our true selves with each other. I am grateful for my choice, and relieved that I did it, but also fearful and sad in the turmoil it brought up. On the other hand, I am grateful that the issues are out in the light. The rest is to be seen.
Started a new job. Very challenging but I try to focus on being grateful for having the wonderful opportunity, and to try to grow from the experience.
I decided to go back to school to get my Masters degree in Adult Learning and Instructional Design. The first two classes (I'm only taking one per semester since I work full-time) were far more difficult than I had anticipated. I blamed it on the fact that I don't have experience in education as the other students do, but the truth I've come to see clearly is that I make a lot of things harder than they need to be. So this semester I'm taking a different tack - I'm choosing a topic for my project that is familiar and easier to write about. It feels a little like cheating, but that may be old thinking that I need to shake loose. We'll see if the results are more successful/satisfying/stressful (or less so) than in my previous two classes.
I started my "dream job". I now have the schedule that I have craved, and I now work with and for great people. I am a kitchen designer, doing what I love within a great environment. In so many ways it is a huge improvement to the retail choker job that I left behind. But now I am poor. Commission based pay is a struggle. Now I am worried about money constantly. Potentially my income could be huge... but for now it is hard. I now also struggle with realizing that if my sales are bad, and I cannot make this work, then what am I going to do? Am I good at what I do? Will I be able to make enough to support me and my daughter? I am still glad I made the leap that I did. But the future is not as certain as I would like. Maybe this okay. You never know what is going to happen - embracing this fact is sometimes a happy thing and I smile; other days I am in chaos.
I finished half of my clinical work for midwifery school. I am absolutely grateful and inspired to keep going.
I made a decision about where i want to be in the next few years (hopefully doing medicine or something in the medical profession). My motivation used to be because of a friend who was diagnosed with Bipolar (and all those associated feelings towards that, trying to keep them from doing anything stupid whilst failing to realise they weren't really interested in your help etc). You Learn a lot from your friends. Finding the direction you want to go in because you want it, not because you think that it may help them if you do it is massive. Doing something for yourself is life changing. I feel relieved that i know where i want to be, how to get there and how i can fit in better. And knowing that for the first time in a long time i get to do something for myself purely and entirely, Not to fix someone else. It's massive. It's liberating
I reconnected with a college friend at the Bat Mitzvah of the daughter of a mutual friend of ours. This is a person I had not spoken with in at least 10 years. I am not completely sure of why we drifted apart, but I know that I was responsible for much of it. I have missed her. We were quite close once. The reunion was not planned, but lovely. I was nervous to see her again, and she was gracious and sweet. Much had happened to her in the years we'd not spoken. She had lost her father and suffered a major illness (though is doing fine now). I sent her an email after the weekend expressing how happy I was to have reconnected - hoping I think to establish a connection once more - but she did not seem receptive. She was not angry, or even cold - just distant. I am so regretful of my part in our disconnection. And I am so sad that it does not appear that we can make that connection again.
I finally got a chance to explore what it would be like to have my boyfriend around. We have done long distance without seeing each other for two years and before that we only saw each other once a year. Now we are honestly trying to make it work and those 4 weeks with him is what I credit with that. Time with him makes me believe it can all be okay. He makes me feel happier then anything else and when I'm with him I feel like I can face anything. This summer gave me a sense of validation I doubted I would ever get. I didn't fall in love. I had the opportunity to appreciate the love that existed from a closer vantage point. Who knows what our future will bring but for now at least we will face it together.
This past December, during a morning duck hunting 0uting with family and a friend in rural Virginia, a person was inadvertently hit in the face with some shotgun pellets (fired from some distance). One of the three or four pieces of steel shot that penetrated the victim's skin missed his right eyeball by only a few millimeters; he could have lost an eye. Not only was that terrible result narrowly avoided, the accident was generally handled with grace and professionalism by all involved. The victim had the pellets removed from his face by one of the other hunters, a surgeon, back at his house, and afterward everyone sat around a table enjoying pecans, trading stories and chuckling about the scare. Everyone in the field that morning, whether 22, 75, of somewhere in between, received a stark lesson (or reminder) about hunting safety -- the people who were in the blind and fired at the duck (which they killed, though some shoot passed over the bird and struck the other hunter about twenty five yards beyond) should not have been shooting while others of us were outside the blind. We also received a reminder of life's fragility. The experience made me feel especially grateful for my good health and the continued health of those I love and care about. Tragedy can strike at any time, so we should strive to say 100 blessings a day, as the Babylonian Talmud demands, as a way of regularly reminding ourselves how incredible (though fragile) life is.
Leah and I got engaged! It feels wonderful. I'm loving planning our wedding together. It's a fun side project to be able to work on together. I'm loving the way we're focusing not just on aspects of the celebration, but also on the spiritual significance of getting married. I'm pretty excited that she's the person I get to spend the rest of my life with!
I think that this has been the year, after five years of living in Israel, that I have come to realize that our financial situation has drastically changed and we can't go on living as if it hasn't. We decided to work with a financial counselour and the numbers were really sobering. That experience has taught me how to live within a budget and to try to be grateful for what we do have. We are Thank G-d able to provide necessities and even some luxuries to our three children, we just have to go about things in a different way. I don't like to have to become a "frugal" person, but the truth is that living this way has helped me to become much less anxious about our future and to start to think about what can be done to improve the situation.
i started answering this question last year, but didnt end up submitting it, because i thought all the answers had to be EPIC, and i just didnt have the time to write anything of that caliber. i strongly regret it now, as so much has happened to me in the past two years; so much change and personal growth that i would have loved to hear what my past self had to say, exactly one year in the past. now that i have the opportunity to answer this very question again, i have to do me and my past self justice. i ll try to not hold myself to any sort of standard, but just write for the sake of writing. i really actually love to write, and read, and i wish strongly that i had the discipline and time to do much more of both. but thats a digression. second chance: i graduated from nursing school this past april and had to follow a job and leave my beloved san francisco. i m now sitting in my one bedroom apartment in Denver, CO, working at my dream job, surrounded by cardboard boxes that used to house ikea furniture, feeling thoroughly lost and uprooted. i ve been reduced to my 36 hour work week, and while im feeling lonely and misplaced, a very good friend of mine has convinced me that happiness is not something to be expected, or to be taken for granted. you take your joy where you can find it, and appreciate it when it chooses to make an appearance. and as dismal as that sounds, it has helped me to find peace in my new surroundings. ive been back to my city by the bay twice though since i moved here a month ago, and am going to maine for a wedding on friday. maybe i m trying to escape, and thats what keeps me sane. i want to type out everything that i ve done in the past year, but i have to limit myself. theres too much to say, and not enough time; i would be writing forever. i have big ideas, that want to fill big spaces... so thats all for now.
My wife and I got pregnant with our second child. It took a long time and looked unlikely, so I was overjoyed. Now its coming shapes every day and week and month as we count down."
I got accepted into university! I know that many graduates around the world this year did not, so I was extremely grateful that i did. I also became inspired to try much harder in it, then i have been in high school and i think i'm doing a good job so far :)
My husband was desperate to go to Israel at the end of the summer. We had already taken one family vacation, done a fair amount of travel for work and I was mentally gearing up for the fall - school for the kids, lots of work for me. So my normal reaction - my usual reaction - would be to dig in, say no, drag my heels. But I said yes - let's go! Just the two of us. Short notice. Long trip. Big adventure. I'm glad I did. The trip was amazing, eye and heart opening. And to use my husband's favorite phrase when I complain about being tired or doing too much, "I'll sleep when I'm dead!"
i moved; am living on my own. i love it. have never felt so free.
I was assigned to share an office with a coworker whom I had felt did not like me. The previous two years had thought we were never going to have a happy working relationship. I had resorted to hiding from this person on those days we potentially were going to be near one another. Last year, with the office assignment, I think we both learned about each other. Ultimately, I learned a lot from this person and am now at ease with seeking her out when we potentially may be at odds with one another. I am very thankful that this office arrangement had taken place . I learned that avoidance of people or tasks which I felt would be difficult or negative actually increased the anxiety/tension and face to face talks can be cathartic.
I went to the East Coast this year, its nice to know that America could be so diverse and yet so familiar. I could truly imagine myself at all those places and being happy there instead of being once afraid of moving from the OC
I did not earn any money at all in the past year - I was in school full-time. It made me feel very humbled because I've needed to rely on others' generosity to get by. Now I finally have a job, and I am so much more grateful for it now than I would have been a year ago.
I started a Master's degree program that is challenging intellectually, interpersonally, emotionally, and spiritually . . . all in a good way. It has affected me in so many ways. I am extremely grateful for the experience, the intellectual stimulation, and most especially, for the relationships that will be part of my life forever. I am learning about my field, other fields, technology, other people, but most of all, I am learning about myself. I am grateful to my family for their unwavering support in this pursuit and I am grateful the I had the confidence to take it on, especially at this point in my life and career. The things I am learning build on who I am and challenge me to stretch and become more. For that I am the most grateful.
The theft of property from my storage space. I am aware of the harassment by mobsters; it has been going on for three years now. But I didn't think that they would go this far. The theft of valued family photos at the behest of my sister was a severe blow. How? I don't know, but the storage space is in collusion with the thieves. And why? Because I took the photos from my family's home--the home that I was supposed to get upon my mother's demise, that my sister convinced her to sell--unknowing that my sister had laid claim to them as her property. It has been a severe blow... I am alternately enraged and depressed. Having been laid off from my job for the past couple of years, I am dependent upon my wife's salary, and there is not enough money to pursue this legally. I am devastated...
I did not get into the MFA program at Dell'Arte. I did feel a little resentful, and confused as to how a whole faculty perceived me as a student and fellow collaborator. However, I was inspired to continue to pave my own way and to continue the great, creative work I started at the school. I feel so much more inspired to do theatre, especially with kids, and to keep clowning. It is something that feeds my soul in a way I didn't know it could. It has that constant performative quality which I have sought from my on-stage work, but also a back-and-forth with an audience that is immediate feedback on what generates a real engagement and response from people.
It's been quite an eventful year, I think the most significant experience was flying with my grandmother. While in public, I strove not to humiliate or belittle her, while at the same time having to take care of her. I feel like I reconnected with my grandmother and remembered why I love her and got a well needed lesson in patience and respect. Unfortunately, I've also seen how much she's aged and come to need help more than we're both willing to admit.
I've cheated. I've been trughtfull. I've spent time in zazen, sitting. I'm inspired with my life. I accept it. I dance it through.
My oldest daughter got married, my son started his career and my youngest daughter went off to college all within three months of each other. I am very grateful that everything is good but still in the process of understanding the impact of these significant changes on me.
I have started my own company. Beyond the fact that it is a huge venture and I am learning more every day, I am very grateful for the opportunity to make a change in the world with my idea, and lucky to have taken such a leap into the unknown from a job that was turning no longer challenging me.
The experience I have found this year is that people are so different, now everyone only talks on the computer, I feel there is no real communication just what you want on facebook and somepeople do not have facebook and then they hear bits a pieces of thing, I have gotten very tired of trying to call people and not getting responces, I am resentful.
I nearly lost my best friend due to poor communication and many misunderstandings. I'm relieved that it's fixed, but i was resentful for a time that I had to fight for our friendship and apologise - although I'd done nothing wrong. I'm now glad I did and grateful that we appear to be just as strong as ever.
Last year was the very first time I have not been paid by a client - and it was shocking, upsetting and put us in a horribly difficult position. I have never been in such tough financial straits before and while it was extremely hard - it gave me enormous appreciation for those who have financial difficulties and I worked hard to try and accept this with joy and love. I am trying to forgive the person who did this - but can't yet bring myself to tell him personally.
In December my wife and I took our children, their spouses and our four grandchildren to Israel. It was a dream come true and we had the opportunity to give the gift of our faith to all of us. Grateful would be an understatement of feelings. With the help of our guide we witnessed what we already understood, the importance of Zion as a backbone of our faith. It was a trip of a lifetime for all and hopefully an insperation for all.
I moved to this farm. Its opened doors to so many questions I hadn't figured out how to ask before I got here. It has bolstered my confidence as a Jew and brought with it new relationships and knowledge I never before knew I would encounter. It has been hard though, challenging me everyday to see if I want to live out a lifestyle or ideal that I have often talked about.
A significant experience this year would definitely be transitioning from high school to college. It was extremely overwhelming the first few days, and passing through those struggles aided me in finding out who I really am.
I had to manage some very challenging individuals at work this year. It taught me a great deal about my approach to conflict and communication. I always thought of myself as being open and seeing conflict as an opportunity for growth. In reality, I was shying away from it, in my work, and in my relationship with my partner. Working with these two people has been really hard, and I still feel some resentment towards them. But ultimately, the experience has been rewarding. I've learned to be more honest and direct. The most useful thing I've learned is that conflict doesn't just disappear. You've got to work with the different perceptions that are there as real entities and find ways forward. In a way, those difficult experiences of conflict at work have been a gift to my relationships with my family, friends and partner. My partner and I have been scheduling honest conversations about our perceptions of each other, and speaking about the seeds of conflict before they sprout rather than brushing them under the carpet. We've achieved whole new levels of warmth and understanding between us.
I went through a big crisis with my partner and I finally discovered the fact that I was blocking my ability to love because I was afraid. Afraid of being hurt by choosing the wrong person. And then, I realized that there is nothing to be afraid of. Nothing. Life is not perfect. Your partner doesn't have to be perfect.... Perfect for whom? Life brings you what you need any time. Accept it and learn from what you have. That is exactly what you need now.
I had a baby -- our second girl. I fell in love with her immediately, and later when "real life" with two kids and both of us working set in, I get overwhelmed easily and started to feel a bit resentful about my time, or the time I thought I used to have. I am grateful and happy that she is happy and healthy, and her personality is developing and she and her sister are very loving with each other. I have learned that as long as I see them as the entertainment much of the time and get a little time to myself every once in awhile, I can be very fulfilled.
I am moving to Kansas. I have a new job, as does my husband, and the jobs look great, so despite my trepidation, we are going. I don't know how I feel yet-I guess cautiously optimistic.
I volunteered at the London 2012 Olympics. Cliches such as 'chance of a lifetime' don't even begin to explain how special an experience it was. To be working at the Stadium, to know that I had a real role and responsibility in making sure that night after night, the greatest sporting competition in the world went smoothly, was such a joy. I am so grateful that I also had a major role to play in the delivery of an inspirational, moving, unforgettable opening ceremony.
The only event that comes to my mind is my sister, Sailermoon's birthday. I have three younger siblings including her. She just turned six and I bought all three of them gifts. I felt like the best brother in the world. Although they were uninterested with the gifts after only less than a week, I still smile back at the occassion.
I had a very significant and inspirational July 2012. It came after the gloomiest June that I have experienced, and I think that the finally beautiful summer weather was a major catalyst in it being so great. I spent tons of time with friends, traveled to Portland and Seattle, worked minimally, had two formative sexual/relationship experiences, and spent a lot of time lounging in the park. On August 1 I moved away from the place I had lived for the past 10.5 months, and it was a super beautiful end to that whole period of my life.
Wreck on February 8, 2012--My car was totaled as I swereved to avoid a car that had pulled out into the road and was basically stopped. I lost control of my car went off the road into the ditch and my car flipped up onto its side. The lady from the car that I wrecked because of trying to avoid got out of her car and ran across the road to check on me. She was hit by another car and killed. So after the wreck everyone just wanted to talk about the poor dead good samaritan, I wanted to scream that it was her fault I had the wreck to begin with. Now I have a car payment that is eating a huge chunk of my income, I have chronic pain in my neck and shoulder, I've developed an anaphalactic allergy to the one muscle relaxer that seemed to help. I am grateful to be alive. I'm resentful of the people who pulled out into the road without lights on at night and then stopped. On my drive home from work everyday, I can still see my tire tracks in the ditch and it has been 7 months. I was on my way to church when the accident happened. I still get anxious on Wednesday nights when I am driving to church. I know also from this experience that I am well loved by family and friends and that God will supply my every need.
my friend, sometimes lover, and tango partner killed himself and i found out because his old girlfriend in england found me on facebook to contact me. i was deeply saddened and very confused about his death, deeply grateful for her first contact and glad to call her a friend. i just wish we could have met another way. i've come to think of the suicide as something like a car wreck--a freak accident.
My relationship ended. It has liberated me, and given me a new lease on life. I am grateful, but sad. Not relieved, and just a bit resentful, as I own my part in it, and am aware of the limitations of my ex. I am inspired not to make the same mistakes again.
I started dating my first real serious boyfriend, Ben. I'm so grateful that I found such an amazing guy. I know that by the next time I read this, we probably still won't be together, but I'm grateful I get this experience of loving another person. He's completely deserving of my love, and I don't ever want to be stupid around the way I treat him.
The 5 year business partnership with Cheryl has come to an end. I am grateful to be free of the daily drama and to make all my own decisions regarding business on my own.
I lost my job last year - to a more experienced person - and it was a change of direction for me in the first place... it made me feel very badly in the beginning --- and then grateful, then angry, then relieved, inspired, hurt, happy, just every emotion one could experience. Processing this change in direction, when superimposed on becoming an empty nester - has been very challenging work.
This year, at band camp, I had a really meaningful conversation with my cabin. Afterwards, I recieved a huge confidence boost, and I feel like new person. It really showed me what it is to be a friend.
I had an opportunity to travel away from my whole family for a "me only" event. While I had a great time, I realized that my family means everything to me, and things are brighter with them with me.
My fiance and I had the fantastic opportunity to take 1 year off work in May 2011 and travel around the world. Our amazing journey took us to 24 countries and 87 cities throughout Europe, Africa, Asia and Australia. We returned home to Toronto, Canada in April 2012 feeling extremely grateful, inspired, rewarded and lucky to have experienced this life changing event both as individuals and as a couple just starting their lives together.
As I started being more observant, I did change a lot in my lifestyle, my professional aims and my daily way to see life in general. I am grateful for the results and looking forward to go to a higher level.
I resigned from my job in government. It's a mix of things and I am still trying to figure out if it did me good, bad, or both. It could have done me all of these things outlined: grateful, relieved, resentful, and inspired. I became more aware of what I can and cannot do as a worker and I know that the next job I go to is something that will help me get to wherever it is that I want to go with my life. I am still confused but the good thing about it is that I actually get to evaluate my choices. When I was working long hours, I could not think and reflect and reconcile things with myself that much.
This year I found out I was accepted into Hebrew Union College's rabbinical program. It was a monumental event that helped me feel more secure in my future. I was all at once relieved, excited, nervous, and extremely grateful. I hope that this feeling of excitement remains with me for as long as possible, I am so excited about my future!
My father died. It's been nearly a year, so now I'm more at peace with it. We - my sister, stepmother, and I - are still struggling with the (very simple) estate that's brought up trust issues, fears about the future, and concerns about family ties; and those things worry me. But overall, I think I'm more at peace with his death.
I have been a bridesmaid in three good friends' weddings in the past two months. I'm grateful, but it is a lot of work, a lot of stress, and a lot of money. Ideally they would have all not gotten married at the same time, but I'm happy for all of them and thankful to have such great friends.
The experience of raising our son who was one week old when the year began has been amazing, frightening, joyful, life changing, and has forced me to grow in ways I never could have imagined!
I got really sick this year (on new year's day no less!) and spent 6 months of useless medical treatment until I finally found a practitioner with an angle that actually helped me. Aside from dropping 20 pounds, it definitely made me feel very fragile and mortal. While I'm not 100% healed yet, now that I am feeling better I'm trying to embrace life with a cautious fervor—i.e. not wasting time, but not burning the candle at both ends either. If anything, this experience has proven that a more delicate balance is needed for me. A balance of work, rest, friends, family and personal creative time plus, sadly, much less carbohydrates and booze).
I moved to Los Angeles after 8 years living in Washington DC and every day I think about the decision, questioning whether my move back to LA - my hometown - was wise. I'm grateful for my family and relieved that in such a short time I was able to make so many wonderful friends and reconnect with such incredible people. However, I still feel like I'm struggling to feel comfortable and connected to the city itself - the vastness overwhelms me and I yearn for the smallness and closeness of DC.
The most significant experience is getting one of my knees replaced and having to rely on others to help me. I am still dealing with the healing part of it. It made me re-evaluate my life and my relationship with family members and friends. I am grateful for some of my friends who stepped up to help and more wary of family members who did not or only as a token measure. I have learned a lot of what I am made of, what my family is made of, what the medical system is made of, and how great my friends are.
I left ASCEND, the school I helped to found and took the AP job at Cox Academy. This is exciting and scary at the same time - I feel like I left my comfort zone, but I also left the people with whom I had built solid relationships. The Cox community is tightly knit, but also more challenging at the child and adult levels. I feel that this job fits my skills and I will have success, but it's a longer term process to have my vision impact the culture of the school.
Last late October I broke my right foot. I had never broken a bone before and I walked around on it (while very very broken) for almost a month. I even went on a trip to Vegas without knowing it was broken. By the time I finally went to a doctor, it was pretty bad, but at least I didn't need surgery. I was in a boot from mid-November (Nov 16 I believe) through the beginning of February. I was so immobilized. I couldn't drive myself anywhere, couldn't work out the way I wanted to, and was overall frustrated. I had to learn when to accept help, and learn how strong I was to do some things on my own. By early January I had gained weight. Despite boxing (which I carried through the whole time - amazingly), I wasn't as active as I had been and I wasn't eating the right foods for my body. I had gained a significant amount of weight - add that to my inactivity and family medical history and I was in some very scary health trouble. I decided to take charge of what was happening to my body. I refused to not be healthy. ,I upped my work-outs, started eating better, began journaling my experience and sending it to a friend, I was lucky enough to be able to invest in myself with the purchase of some personal training and work with a heath coach/nutritionist. Most importantly, I prioritized myself, not something I normally do. I took a "friend vacation" from anyone toxic in my life and made me the priority. I am grateful for this entire experience even though it has been hard - and my adventure is far from over. I'm proud of how strong I am and grateful for all the amazing things my body can do.
I learned that someone has been spreading rumors that I am bipolar and that I don't take care of our boarding stable. At first I was devastated and wanted to leave the farm so I wouldn't further endanger its reputation. Now I have come to realize that people will believe whoever they want, no matter how big the lie, that the farm is something we are all proud of and that the person who did this will come to understand the meaning of kismet.
I was awarded full legal custody of my youngest son. It empowered me because I represented myself and revealed the truth to the judge. I am grateful and relieved that an independent neutral party chose me. I resent that my son's mom is not willing to take responsibility for herself being evaluated as the court ordered. My son inspires me to be the best person I can be and the best parent as well.
My fiance broke up with me. All the reasons why he didn´t want to continue, were so painful but felt so right... that now I feel relieved... I´m learning to be alone, to know myself and to live for on my own..
My mother sold our family home and land. I'm devastated but in some ways freed as she doesn't have much to hold over my head anymore. And I can shake away some of my past and forge ahead.
After two years of trying to get pregnant, our son Oliver was born on August 5th. I am beyond grateful and excited. He is pure joy. I didn't think it was possible, but I've fallen even more in love with my partner. I feel so blessed.
I've realized how important it is to be an advocate for my children. When Zach wasn't hitting his milestones, I brought it up to his pediatrician. After seven months of PT, he's now developmentally appropriate. When he wasn't advancing vocally, we had his ears checked, and his speech has exploded since getting tubes. It just goes to show me that I am the best advocate for my kids, and that I need to be vocal and questioning when it comes to making sure my kids are getting the best care possible. It helps to have such a supportive pediatrician. I feel empowered.
A good friend and collegue moved to another city. Although I was sad at her departure , she continues to inspire me daily and feel truly blessed for having her come into my life.
I moved in with my boyfriend as we move along the path toward marriage. I am grateful to build our lives together as we move toward marriage and relieved that it seems to have been a smooth transition in our relationship.
This past year my father and my mother-in-law both spent time in the hospital and had serious health scares. This was a difficult time but I am appreciatve that they are both doing better. Another significant experience was that we moved into our new house. It is a great house and I am grateful that it was a smooth process and we were happy with the builder and the whole experience.
In the past year I worked for the Walt Disney Company. It was an eye opening experience in the customer service world. I loved every minute of it, and it inspired me to be nicer to people and treat people better. Almost weekly I "ruined someones vacation" and got yelled at by a guest, and it made me realize that these people were seriously out there and that they needed to grow up, but I also thought to how I treated people and it made me nicer.
During the past year I had the connected experiences of moving in with a partner and then seeing that relationship end. Both of these events were great milestones for me and full of emotion. I went through the process of taking a significant leap outside of my comfort zone and then feeling the disappointment of having to disentangle our lives. I emerged after several months with the strength and resolve that had sustained me prior to the relationship, and it was important to see the aspects of myself that carried through both transitions.
My darling Don was diagnosed with prostate cancer after having had a biopsy about a year ago. Don and his oncologist had decided to take a wait and see approach but the cancer seems to be progressing and the doctor is now talking about six weeks of radiation treatment. God. Of all of the things I've worried about with my husband's health, his prostate cancer was the one that worried me the least. I'm feeling stunned.
Four days before RH this year, I was in such immense back pain that I could not move and had to be hospitalized. So many things about this. The timing. The time away from my family during a period of deep reflection. Having to face mortality and what-ifs and whatsitallabouts. I'm relieved and grateful and still processing what it means about what to do differently, and how to learn and live better.
A significant experience that has happened in the last year is that my husband and I became involved with a run/walk group called No Boundaries. Their slogan is, "running changes everything." The thing is that it has! A year ago, I couldn't run at all. Now, I can. More than that, I have lost 32 pounds, 300 points on my cholesterol and have finally conceived a child! My whole life has changed. Life is good.
I started Jumpstart MD on August 1, 2011 to get a handle on my weight, health, and fitness. My dad & I have argued about my weight for too many years and I finally decided to take him up on his offer to help pay for a program. I'm glad for the progress I've made and I still have a long way to go but I finally feel like I'm going to be able to make it. This eases a lot of the tension between me & my father and I'm grateful he continued to pursue a very difficult topic between the two of us.
A month or so ago, we had to rush my cat into the emergency room. At the time, we thought that he had had a stroke. It turned out that he had thrown a clot in his leg, which would eventually pass. As days passed, though, and the vets did more tests on him, they found out that he had an aggressive form of cancer that wasn't curable. We've started him on chemo now, which will buy him some more time, and he's acting more like himself now, after we started giving him an appetite stimulant. I also know that in a month or so, he'll be gone. I knew that he wasn't exactly a young cat, but I assumed that we'd have a few more years with him. Things changed so quickly in the space of a few weeks, and I'm still trying to grasp how little time he has left. Now, he only has a month, maybe two, and I'll be away at school during most of that time. Honestly, I don't know if I'm relieved that I don't have to watch him waste away, or if I'm sad that I won't be there.
I got married. As married as the state of California will allow... but definitely married. I felt for a period of time like I had to qualify that--well, it's a domestic partnership, blah blah blah. But we really got married and are married. And I'm incredibly grateful to have a partner I trust and love and to have been able to stand before our community and make such a commitment. The love and support we felt that day was really quite remarkable and I feel very blessed.
Becoming mentally stable.
In early August I was called into the HR Director's office and told that "several" people told her I was "rude". These people accused me of having "multiple personalities" and say that they walk the other way when they see me. They also insist on being anonymous despite the HR Director requesting that they meet with me to discuss this. I was shocked and stunned. I knew who two of them were- women who wanted my job before I was hired- but have no clue who the others are or when they thought I was rude. I feel like I'm in highschool. I was initially angry and bitter. Now I think it's probably a gift to get me out of this dead-end job. I have an MA and I'm working as a secretary for God's sake because the economy is so bad. The other secretaries have high school diplomas or AA's. It got me thinking that any other law firm will be the same way. It will have a pool of un-educated women who are cliquish and nasty. It led me to decide to pursue my original career choice, the reason I went to grad school. I'm in transition now, still at the law firm but looking for other work. I'm taking this as a lesson not to let fear put me into a situation that doesn't fit me. I don't need to do a job that's significantly below my education level and expose myself to bullying, vindictive corporate types just to earn a living.
My dog developed severe dementia, including night terrors. She eventually had to be put down. It was a year of little sleep for the whole household. I realized that I could in fact survive with about two hours of sleep a night, though I don't want to do that again! I also have a greater appreciation for what families dealing with dementia go through. I miss my dog but am glad she is no longer suffering.
After my writing partner asked why she had to always be the one providing the emotional depth to our characters, I started therapy. (Kind of a callback to my friend calling me "as deep as a plate of soup" in high school.) It felt like "brush-clearing" at first, but I gradually found myself in a stronger place, ready to commit to my writing. And in the last few months, as I didn't see any results from it, I definitely backslid. I'm having trouble starting and sitting and working.
This past year I had the pleasure of meeting and working with a very important figure in my life. His name is Amos and he was the Israeli Shaliach for Portland, OR this past year. When I first met Amos, I had no idea how important he would end up being in my life. In him I discovered a new passion for Israeli, inspiration to make the major steps towards pursuing a Jewish life in a real way, and one of the realest, best friends of my life. I've never felt a divine presence in my life like this before I met Amos.
My knees have failed to support me. My ability to walk and dance has been negatively affected. It irritates me, but I keep journeying to find ways to shift this stagnation.
We spent the autumn in Montana debating whether or not Mike should accept an offer to work at Everspin in Arizona if he got one. Then, they made an offer and we just couldn't refuse. When we decided to move I felt at once scared and excited about finding a place to birth Anna, about making new friends, and about the adventures ahead. I was obsessed with Mikey's well-being. I feel regret about having left my friends and Mikey's friends in Missoula. Many days I wish we hadn't left. I feel grateful for the most important thing that has happened since the move - that Mike has learned how to be less stressed by work. He comes home happy and spends his entire weekend with us. He doesn't worry much about the longevity of his job. He now sees his job as a means to living. Ultimately, it only matters that our life is good outside of his work. I think it will have an amazing effect on our lives in the long run.
I mourned the loss of my Mom and Michelle. It has been a very long process to accepting a world without them. I miss my Mom every day.
I lost and got back a major relationship in my life this year. The process left me feeling so depleted, so hurt, so renewed about other aspects of my life- I'm not sure if I would've had it happen any other way. It has allowed me to see more clearly who is in my life and why they are there.
I met the love of my life. I know that sounds cliched, but she really is. There are so many little things that I find amazing about her, truly. I have finally found a partner, lover and best friend.
I got an exciting job working in the Jewish community. It is too early to judge how this will impact my life but it exciting to anticipate the impact I will have in securing the future and growth of Jewish life in my community.
I was re-hired at my old place of work, and I'm very grateful, and much relieved.
My daughter (my wife's and my first child) was born in August. The entire process of "creating" life is so overwhelming and awe-inspiring that it is difficult, if not impossible, to put into words how it affected me. All I know is that it, and she, will affect me every day for the rest of my life.
Moving out of the house, separating from my wife. I am struggling, but also relieved in a way...
i was hit by a car. it made me take a long look at my life up to that point in time. for the positive change, yes i am grateful. i am relieved from the viewpoint of surviving such a potentially catastrophic event. overall i don't feel any resentment. the entire event has inspired me to be a better, nicer person and to strive to achieve focus and balance from this point forward.
I bought a condo with my boyfriend. We split all the costs and I love the place. This experience forced me to think about what I want for my future and where I want to be. I know that I can't imagine my life without him and that I want to continue along my career path in this city. I am relieved to finally have something figured out in my life so that I can start planning other things!
I was very happy to what happened to me at the 3rd and 4th quarter last year. I found a new love namely Inu, someone who finally fits the bill of what I seek in a man: intelligent, kind, bald & wearing glasses. :D I was hired as an HR Development Team Member at Indonesia Stock Exchange as well. So yes, generally I felt thankful and happy. :)
I started my postdoc year, my first job. I feel powerful and fragile at the same time....I know I have to keep working and "suffering" not just to improve but even to keep up...science feels like a risky business. Some ideals lead me to want to find answers and survival instinct tells me to go for sure things. It feels good to be retributed for your work and be able to offer things to family, friends and society with your work.
My husband quit drinking, started riding his bike to work and running every day. The person that he really is deep inside, the man I love, has been able to break through. True connection between us has occurred more and more frequently, whereas before it was like a dark, dense wall between us. It's been almost a year now. Things are not always perfect, but they are real, alive, growing, changing... I am grateful every day.
I had a falling out with someone whom I considered a friend, if not family. Essentially, it involved this person speaking ill of my child to others. While my child is no angel, friend, especially close friend do not speak ill of ones children. When I mentioned this, this person proceeded to say some very hurtful things about my child. I have matured, but in a way I wish was unnecessary in this world. Too often maturity means understanding that life is challenging and people, for the most part, are not really to be trusted with intimacies that are most precious to you.
This year has been so much better than the horrible last year that I have been really grateful.
Running my first marathon! What an amazing experience. It got me out of the crazy mindset that I brought back from living in Rwanda. I'm so grateful for the accomplishment. I can't believe that I allowed myself to get out of shape after. I want to get back into that kind of shape again.
A year ago I thought my friend J. was going to die. She's someone that has a lot of weird things go wrong with her and so it lulls you into thinking that the things that are going on with he are just goofy quirky things, but this time some doctors got really scared, and she got shuttled around to a bunch of specialists, and for a stretch we thought she had something like six months to live. People I've loved have died but only the ones who were 'supposed' to die. Other people I know who weren't 'supposed' to die have died but none that I was close to. J was one of my major friends, absolute inner circle, someone I really love, capital L love, love love love. And suddenly there was this idea that she would just be gone. Just gone. I surprised myself by how quickly I fell apart, how I'd just weep. The idea that the world could continue, except without her in it, was ... I hate the word 'indescribeable' but I dunno how to convey the psychological reality. I guess I don't have to, since I'm writing for myself and I know I'll remember in a year. How it affected me was that it made me aware, for a brief and beautiful window, that life is the process of losing everything. Even if it's also good and beautiful like you think it can be, even then it is irrevocably and finally about loss, so you better fucking get used to it, and more to the point you better get your punches in before the body blows drop you. In my particular case, all I could think about was how my relationship with J. had sort of decayed, so even though I loved her it had sort of drifted into one of those pathological loves, where what you really want to do is punch the person in the face, and a lot of your internal monologue starts with "I really love J, but ..." And I realized that this decay was basically my fault; and that now I wouldn't have the chance to redress it. And so I just sort of stewed in the knowledge that I had fucked up something so precious, and that would be the legacy, she'd die, and that would be that, and like I said I would just break down, literally stop and lean against a wall and cry in the fucking retarded way I have of crying, and it was too awful to bear. Except there was nothing to be done but to bear it. And that's the bitch of it, which I guess is something else I learned: that for things like these that you can't possibly bear, of course you can bear them because what else is there to do? And I say 'bear' not to mean any kind of brave sallying forth or overcoming, but of simply not winking out of existence. You wake up, enjoy that brief handful of seconds when you're a blank slate, and then the gut-shot where it all comes rushing back. Which now that I'm writing this I realize that I learned this same exact lesson after 9/11/2001 when I was smelling the fucking jet fuel for weeks afterward, and so why did I have to learn it again? And yet there we are. Anyway, the ironic and incredible thing is that it was all somehow a mistake. And J is okay. And so I get the Christmas Carol Reprieve, a second shot to make it right, whatever making it right means. And I have sort of done that, I think, although like every profundity those described here have receeded from day to day consciousness, and I know, for positive sure, that if it all happened again, if J got sick again, that I would go through the same fucking thing again, sure as shit; and I would hate myself for failing to keep something precious, for all those missed moments and times I didn't try hard enough, and all of it. And what's scary is that I know this is true of everything, and I'm not sure if that's just me, if that's the sort of damned person I am, someone who sees the rot in everything, or if it's everyone, if we're all this way, all aware, more or less, of the clock ticking, and yet powerless to do anything that will satisfy when the day eventually does come due.
My husband went through a severe physical decline that scared us both. Then he got better. They never figured out what went wrong. I'm relieved that he's better, but frightened by the randomness of the whole thing. Of life.
I decided to play volleyball. For a while my dad was like, "You should play volleyball!" and I was tentative because I felt like I was too late to start. But I went to the camp and I really liked it. So I went to the tryouts. My friend was like, you're going to get on a team no matter what because of your height, your ability decides which team (A team or B team). I ended up making A team! I was really excited and I love playing it. The one drawback is now it's made my choice harder. Do I go to a performing arts high school with not so great academics? Go to a school for academics but not like as much? Or go to a high school where I could play volleyball, has good academics, but has an awful performing arts program?
I’ve never been one of those insufferable people who say smugly, irritatingly, that they’ve never had a sick day in their life. As if that is a reward for their innate goodness and wonderfulness, that it means they are better than us in so many ways (though clearly in health terms they are). My mother-in-law is one of those people. I'm not. No, I’ve always come down with colds, and suffered with them. It takes me a week to recover from a cold, my husband on the other hand will sneeze one day, be ill for one day, and he rises again on the third. (It’s those irritating genes he has). But I’ve never really suffered from anything serious. Yes, I’ve had dengue fever, and for the record, it’s no picnic. But I survived and came out of it fitter (as I began going to the gym as part of my recovery). Likewise I’ve had ectopic pregnancies, survived, and come out of those ... well ... different, wiser, more compassionate. But – aside from the fact I can’t have children as a result – I’ve come out of those just as healthy as when I went in. But I’m getting older. As the birthday with a zero approaches, my health suddenly comes more into focus. And in March, I became ill. Very ill. But I came out of that, healed, and I’m back working out at the gym, determined to be physically fit, if not athletically slim (sigh, that’s not in my future). I’m getting another reminder this week. Another neuralgia attack, so far managed with drugs, but disturbingly soon after the March attack. As a result, I have been left both a little more fearful of my body, a little less confident that I can rely it to do what I want when I want (aside from the whole getting-pregnant-thing). I know that stress can bring on an attack, and so feel now more tentative about opportunities that might be exciting, but stressful. My time feels limited now, and that is scary. Not in mortality terms (though with the big birthday ending in a zero looming, that too), but in terms of a carefree life, of being able to go out and do what I want to do. But it has also made me a little more grateful too. Grateful for what I have achieved and done and places I’ve been and people I’ve met, and friends and family. Grateful that I can still go out and do some of the things I want to do now, before it’s too late. Grateful that I actually recognise how lucky I have been. How awful to go through life being smug about your health, but not really understanding, or appreciating, what a wonderful gift that is. How awful to go through the motions of life, not being able to stop and enjoy the sign of budding leaves on the acorn tree, or unfurling fronds on the neighbour’s fern, or simply the joy of being able to walk free of pain. And I know I still have it really good, especially if I can push that fear back to a dark corner of my brain. I have friends and family who don’t have it so easy. I feel I owe it to them to appreciate the little things, as well as the big things. To be grateful for what I have. And what use is gratefulness if I just sit back and pat myself on the back for being lucky? So it has made me feel inspired too. I need to get some things done, things I’ve been talking about for a while, before something happens one day and I can’t. So I’m grateful for feeling a little inspired too. The Buddhists and their whole mindfulness kick – the washing the dishes to wash the dishes – really have got it right. I need to remember that.
I stepped out of the nest and started my life. Work is 100% more fun than homework ever was. It's a big step toward making myself into a real person with real goals and a real family. I'm glad it worked out, and feel a lot better about my ability to take on challenges in the future.
Took on a 17 year old male Exchange Student from Slovakia. I love having him in my home. I'm very happy we made the decision to have him come to our home. I thank God that he is a wonderful, smart, respectful boy. And cute too! He makes me want to be a better parent to Sam who is now 11 years old.
Just spent a few weeks in Germany. It reminded me of the beauty of the country and the atrocities commited there by a number of deranged men. It convinced me that the "Good" must remain attentive and ust continue to do "Good"
I am in the Sydney Saber Arena group and loving it! I'm inspired by the fighting, and the costumes. So much so that I am making my own costumes now!
Being bullied at work, feeling dragged through the mud, coming to terms with how that mirrors the past, dealing with my Saturn opposition.
I had a major health scare at too young of an age. It scared me to my core, but I am grateful to have come out of this with renewed health and a new outlook on life.
I met my girlfriend this year. On our first date we met for a glass of wine. We enjoyed talking but there was no spark. The second date is the "experience" about which I am writing. We went and enjoyed a lecture by the author of "Reading Lolita in Tehran." During the talk I was distracted by her attractiveness. Later we went for a drink and I felt increasingly attracted to this intellectual and sexy woman. After our drink we were saying goodbye. I kissed her lips. Though it was only one kiss I felt that I had to see her again and was so intrigued.
I took a new job last October. It wasn't quite in my field, nor what I had dreamed to be doing when I went to b-school. I had left that job with our move. But in the end, I have found job satisfaction, financial rewards and a better sense of balance between life and work since my 4 day work week is lovely and it's just not as intense or enveloping as my prior job. I think it's been for the best.
After 7 years of applying, networking and interviewing off and on, I finally landed my dream job at my dream company, Turner Broadcasting! As I type this, I'm in my 4th week on the job and I am still in awe of this place. Everyone here is happy and friendly. People walk around with a smile on their face. It seems like everyone is creative and wants to be here, even on late nights. Because at the end of the day, we're making television, and that's pretty cool. I am completely in love with the company, the people and the culture here and am certain that when I read my answers next year, I'll still feel the same way. How does it affect me? How do I feel about it? I am incredibly grateful. I was unbelievably bored at my last job. I'm normally a go-getter and spent years (literally) asking for more challenging work. My boss told me there was simply nothing more challenging that I could work on, so with limited opportunity for development, I decided to look for a new job. I spent nearly 2 years searching for a new job before finally landing this one. I am keenly aware of how fortunate I am to find a new job in this economy, as well. I think of all the people out there who are out of work - smart people, talented people, people with families to provide for...and I am grateful. And lastly, after years of unhappiness, I'm happy with my job again. I'm unbelievably grateful for that happiness.
Occupy. What an amazing time of communication & cooperation. I worked the medical tent one day, the prayer tent another. Brought all the old warm clothes we had. Cooked & delivered hot food. Had a lovely exchange w/one of the anarchists. Even tho that movement has dissipated, it spawned a whole new gen of social activists who are not waiting for certifications, permissions or anything else to keep them from creating new programs to educate & help people who need it most.
I had to deal with the death of two close friends and my cousin this year. These experiences made me realize how to appreciate life and those who are in it. I'm resentful and angry in the sense that they were taken away from me but I'm relieved that they were able to end their suffering. My cousin had battled with stage IV breast cancer and she fought long and hard. It was great to know she was a peace with the situation. She had done all she could.
I became engaged. It comes with a myriad of feelings-- it's something I never wanted for myself while at the same time being exactly what I wanted. I'm terrified and exhilarated at the same time-- but every moment I spend questioning my decision I spend ten minutes rejoicing that I had the courage to say yes.
In a span of 3 days I experienced 3 deaths. The odd part was how I emotionally reacted, which to be honest was rather distant, mildly cold, very disconnected. The week before my 25th birthday I had the following occur - Sunday - a man committed suicide on my balcony... he jumped out of a window on the 25th floor and landed on my 9th floor terrace. Fortunately no one was home to witness or hear the fall, but it was not pleasant to walk into the remains the next morning. Monday - an 8 year old student of one of my friends was a bystander to a 3-car pile up. While innocently riding his bike on the sidewalk, a car lost control by a woman who was on amphetamines and he was killed when the car took him out on the sidewalk. Tuesday - my father's mother passed away back at home from 4 various forms of stage 4 cancer. I would find out 6 days later that the same day my grandmother died, my very recent ex-boyfriend was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. Of all those things that occured I cried for maybe 10 minutes. I'm not sure what that says about me, and to this day I'm not sure how to interpret how I handled it. Was it my mind/heart/body's way of staying strong for everyone? Was it my fear of seeming sad or weak to others? Or to myself? Am I just numb to death these days? Insensitive? I have no clue. Sometimes I wonder if I've fully "handled" or "dealt" with it. I'm rather certain I have, but there's always a slight wonder of 'what if it just hasn't come back and kicked me in the ass yet'? One thing I'm grateful for is the timing... I had friends flying in to celebrate my 25th birthday on the Wednesday of that week. I turned my 5-day bender into a "Celebrate your life" Tour instead of being "All About Me". The best way to celebrate the loss of life is being alive and living life to the fullest. I spent more money than I should have that weekend, drank more than was healthy, partied harder than I had in months, and don't regret one second of it.
Several acquaintances have died which has made me more aware of my own death and the possible loss of people I love.
While this year I met the man of my dreams and am excited about the future, my grandmother fell ill, and I was reminded about the fragility of life.
Went on a Vision Quest, fasting for 4 days in a 10 foot circle. Definitely Inspired..
It's been a tame year so the two biggest events were the misery of Todd separating from Heather, and the complexity of Leo's upcoming school options. Both have made me appreciate the importance of having a happy, solid and grounded family first. I'm so glad David agrees that we want Leo to have a strong foundation emotionally, mentally and physically - and he is not so concerned with trying to impress certain people.
My son had an MRI to determine the makeup of a large cyst on his temple. Although I was fairly confident that it would turn out to be benign, based on our surgeon's best guess, seeing him lying in the MRI machine filled me with dread. When he turned out to be OK it was a great relief. I am very thankful for the health of my family.
My daughter moved back home after being forced to live with her father for 6 years. I am grateful, relieved, resentful of the courts, and inspired by her spirit and strength.
I completed two significant athletic events (the Chicago Urbanathalon and a half marathon) that helped me feel that with hard work and committment I can accomplish anything i set my mind to. During each race and during the training I tried to express my gratitude for the physical ability to achieve these milestones.
My oldest son graduated from High School. Proud and relieved He wasn't the easiest to modivate to get school work done and there were some tense moments! So proud of him!
Helped by modern medicine, I have been enabled to return to school and persevere.
At the age of 62, I wrote a song. At first I recognized that i had written a poem. Then a tune arrivedin my head. Lacking the training to translate the tune into musical notes, I sought help from my nephew. "Hum it into your iPhone," he said. I did. I e-mailed him the words. A few days later, he sent a message on my phone: his voice accompanied by his guitar accompaniment. He texted me the chords so I could sing the song with a friend accompanying my voice. My song is now on Your Tube as the accompaniment to a video about pollution on the Altamaha River. I now have three more songs that have materialized. I am amazed at these events.
Many number of things have happened in the past year that have dramatically changed my life. And while I can not pinpoint one specifically, what I have taken away from all of them is simply "be happy." And while its a simple statement I've found it to be one of the most challenging things I have ever tried to accomplish. I am grateful for all the experiences and hopeful that they will make me a better person.
This year I have lived so many significant experiences that I don't know which one I should write about. I had my first official boyfriend and my first brake up, I started and did it almost well my first year at college, I renewed my view about God (I used to be much more religious and now I have a lovely relation-ship based on confidence and respect), I have had my first job interview -tourist guiding-, and still preparing for tomorrow's second test, have travelled a lot this summer, have understood that trully friendship does not envy, not hurt, and not get you down... It's been an extraordinarious year but plenty of mistakes and denials... But still I'm grateful to God that I've keep on learning, keep on beliving and keep on fighting so, maybe some day, I'll get to where God have planned me to be.
I chose to leave a job I really needed but absolutely hated. I felt so empowered when I told HR that I was resigning, it was the first time in a long time I felt as if I was stepping into my own skin. Having faith and trusting in G-D and myself - together is incredibly powerful. There is no fear! Leaving this job was one of the most empowering things I've done. I was inspired to start my own business. Often I allow my limited ego to get the best of me, I create doubts about my ability to see things hrough When I trust in G-d and know that all things will work out, I find my strength. Yes, I'm incredibly grateful!
Israel is on top of significant experience. This time it was my summer in Jerusalem. It was mostly spent there, some of the time was on programs others was just on my own. The entire summer, was a summer of exploration and traveling on my own. It showed me my limits and what I need and what I want in a social life.
I had surgery on my neck. In fact, I had to cancel a trip to England and the Olympics because of the pain in my neck, and six weeks later, I was in the hospital, under the knife. So I am relieved to have it behind me, grateful to the medical experts for fixing me, and yes, a tad bitter about the lost experience. I hope to make it up next year - the surgery, as I keep telling myself and everyone else, is the same as the surgery that Peyton Manning had, and he's playing NFL football, so I should be able to return to a normal life. Without linebackers.
I got accepted to be a part of Americorp and College Possible. It gave me a feeling of relief that I would be doing something after college, but now that I am in it, a sense of purpose in that I am helping kids with the drive and desire to do something (go to college) that was handed to me. I am grateful for this opportunity to help others, but at the same time I am overwhelmed. Every thing I do for the next 9 months will have some sort of impact on these kids. My actions will impact their results. That is a big burden to carry, and I take things very personally. I am also frustrated by the lack of effort some of the kids show me. They seem to not want to be there or appreciate my help, which hurts my ego since I am putting in so much effort and sacrificing so much to be here with them.
The best news of this year (so far!) was hearing that, after yet another full-body scan, I did not have cancer! After having survived it three times, the experience of a serious disease is a difficult one.
The death of my father has been very significant combined with the impact on my mother. I am grateful that he lived for a very long time, but there were some missed opportunities. From somewhere I was able to understand how to pull our family together in positive ways and hope it will last beyond this brief time.
My Grandfather got very sick in the beginning of this past summer. He's had heart trouble for many years and survived 2 open heart surgeries before I was born. Basically his heart is getting too old and weak to function correctly anymore and there's nothing to be done about it. Right now, he's stable and functional, but he gets very tired very easily and is very weak. It's really just a matter of time. This all came on very suddenly and the whole family was expecting him to die any day. Those who live out of town flew in to see him just in case. Thankfully, he recovered somewhat and we got some nice quality family time out of it. On one of the days that he was very sick, he was lying on the couch in my house, resting, and I came in the room. He called my name and I walked over to him. He said, "Robin, I love you so much." I don't think I had ever heard my grandfather say that before. Of course I know he loved me, but he is a man of few words and this statement was very powerful coming from him in this weakened state. All of this sort of shocked me into reality that my grandfather is a person who has emotions and thoughts and may not be in this world for much longer. If it was possible, I suddenly appreciated my family even more than I had before. I am very fortunate to have such a close-knit family who supports me and loves each other unconditionally. And my grandfather is the root of all that (along with my grandmother). At least my root. I am grateful to have him in my life for however long he may stay and I thank him for what he has given me.
In this last year, I feel that I have been made more aware of my mortality due to the recognition of my parents, particularly my mother's aging/decline. Seeing her in vulnerability and need has triggered my own sense of both vulnerability and strength. It has affected me by bringing fear, sadness and recognition of how precious every minute of my life is...in terms of my own self care and in valuing and being grateful for what I do have in my relationships.
through a bizarre string of accidents i broke my tibia this year. it was my first experience with many things: dependence, inability, severe pain, the frailty of the body, and perhaps a foretaste of ageing, which may be closer than i think. i have always been able bodied, perhaps obsessively so and i have always valued myself according to my abilities, what i can DO. in this case for a time there was little i could DO. i recall the frustration as i tried to make coffee from the confines of a wheel chair or trying to carry a cup while using crutches. it was also an experience of the unquestioning, infinitely patient reserves of my wife to shoulder all the loads here in a rural house (wood heat, in the winter). i had done something similar for her following treatment for breast cancer, but until she reminded, i had forgotten all that. i can still recall my sense of intense gratitude for her endless help. and i have a deeper understanding of the give and take implied by 'in sickness and in health'. i also felt the intense gratitude to my body for its ability to recover, and recover i did. back to running, cycling, everything, more, it seems, than i deserve, so for the strength of my body, those fibers and cells, i feel enormous gratitude. yes, i worked hard, but the body was willing.
My bosses changed. One retired and a new one started. They are diametrical opposites in style and manner. As it turned out the change came at good time for me -- I was ready to change. There's much to learn and new ways of looking at how I work and what I do, but that is for the good.
I got dumped by friend, and although we had grown apart, I didn't see it coming at that moment. It felt very much like being dumped by a romantic partner. I still think about her often and have a lot of anger towards her and towards myself for being so emotionally dependent on her. I would like to be open to new loves and relationships in the next year, but because I was rejected for being who I am, I'm afraid to show my weaknesses to someone I really care about.
I learned that my daughter's ex may have started to hurt my 4 year old grandson. I am distraught and it has been very stressful trying to get him away from his dad.
After a lot of hand wringing, I sent my teenaged son out-of-state to a high school that seemed like a good fit for him. I was very sad to see him go, and I miss him terribly. Now I realize that it was the best choice, and we are all stronger for it. Now I have to find a new way to be in realtionship with my son from 1000 miles away.
During this last year I moved and lived in Vancouver away from my family. The experience that it gave me has affected my maturity and how I percieve different conflicts and relationships. I am incredibly grateful and inspired as I learned so many new things about life and myself in general. And while I do feel all that I also feel relieved to be home with my family and friends.
Sharing in the celebration and reflection as my great aunt turned 100 was incredibly powerful. She is an inspiration to me and hearing stories about her generosity and determination at her birthday dinner moved me to tears. I aspire to be a strong, independent woman like her.
I began applying for colleges and I officially graduated from my summer swimming team. It was the official start of the ending of my high school career. I most definitely feel relieved because I am that much closer to graduating.
I got into the Chicago Fringe Festival last minute with only 2 months to complete my solo piece. It was an absolute adventure. It was terrifying and exhilarating. It has made me realize that I am someone that really thrives on adventure. And, having deadlines is very helpful in my creative process. I am grateful because as Dave said, "Think about if you had just been focusing on improv that whole time. You'd have nothing. But, you, you have a piece that's all yours. A full length show!" Perhaps things happen for a reason. I am inspired to build on the show and get it out there. I want to tweak it and explore how I can exploit my gifts best like Anna Deveare did.
I got a new job with the Kaiser Permanente, after 13 years with the University of California. I am extremely relieved and grateful for the opportunity.
I saw Geshe Michael Roach and Lama Marut speak. I got to share that experience with my husband, which is a new adventure for both of us. Stepping into Buddhism feels hopeful.
My mom's death. It was a huge shock to the entire family. She wasn't feeling good and was in the hospital, but nobody ever thought that she wouldn't be coming home! My father is taking her passing very hard. It breaks my heart to hear him cry. I was and still am mad that God chose for her to go, but know that He knows the bigger picture.
My boyfriend of 4 years and my best friend of 6 years, who happens to be the same person, and I are not together anymore, nor do we have the same connection as we did before. This happened after he traveled to Europe for 5 months and simultaneously met another girl. This has impacted me because it has changed many of the dynamics in my life and allowed me to learn how strong I really am on my own, and how well I can bounce back and keep living. I am not the slightest bit relieved, but I have been feeling a little bit resentful of the girl and his sudden change of heart. I am grateful for the 6 year experience that I was fortunate enough to have and the person I was able to fall in love and share my life with for that period of time. Surprisingly enough, I have been feeling much less inspired through this time.
My mom moved to LA and I moved into her guest house. It's hard. It's a nice place. I have a hard time being this close to her. I get angry a lot.
This summer in late June, my dad planned a trip for us to go to London AND Paris. I know he did this for me since another big event was my high school graduation and this was sort of a graduation present for me. We had talked about it some months before but I didn't know he would seriously consider it until he said he bought the plane tickets! I recorded my entire trip day to day in a small green moleskine notebook I got specifically for this occasion, which I can remember to refer to whenever I read this again, if need be. I'm extremely grateful we had the opportunity to visit two such beautiful cities and that my parents and little sister all set aside a whole day for me to go to the Harry Potter Warner Bros. London Tour. As cliche as it sounds, our trip there really was magical. I think one of my favorite days in Paris had to be our first day there in the city with the drizzling rain and just walking around Paris, just me and my dad. It was something to lead me into a great college year and the only thing I regret about the trip is that my older sister didn't have the time to experience everything with us because I know she would have absolutely loved it.
I was be able to see clearly that my life close to the edge. My family was my main executioner !!! I just created a monster that here was eating to me !!! The veritable sympthoms of that situation were the police affairs between my wife and me: Apr, 12 2012 was the limit day. I decided to jump back, away from the edge, and free, explaining my feelings... I knew a woman for a long, long time ago.
My trip to Israel and Palestine was the one of the most significant experiences I had this year, for sure. I had and still have such a swirling mix of conflicted emotions about it. Grateful that I got the scholarship to go, and that I met people like E and G. Greater understanding. A spiritual connection to the land. Deep shame and anger at the treatment of Palestinians. Solidarity. A desire to work for justice. Finally being able to lift the wool from my own eyes and dive in headfirst. Faith in my ability to navigate flying into a new country that speaks a foreign language on my own. Proud of myself when I was able to recognize Hebrew words. A much more nuanced understanding of the many different types of people living in Israel, their political views, their identities, their religious connections or lack thereof. The experience of being in the majority (as a Jew), yet unable to stop questioning the conditions that made that possible...and still being in the minority as a queer and as a supporter of Palestine. The ability to see people's humanity, pride, and pain on both sides.
I was challenged with my houseboat this past year; the roof came off in February and I have been rebuilding ever since; it has been a challenge as I rethink what home means, and what sort of relationship I want to have with the marina community as well as a place to call my own, as I am developing increasingly intimate and close ties with Joel.
Finally sold my house after four years of trying!!! I'm profoundly grateful that it finally happened and grateful to the real estate agent who went many extra miles to make it work. She is a champion!
I quit my job to enjoy a winter at home. It was not stressful to walk away from the company but I longed for the connection to society that comes with being employed.
I set out to recreate my Father's paternal family tree, in order to be able to memorialize those who died in the Shoah. I discovered I have a many living relatives in both Europe and the US, who have warmly welcomed me back into the fold. This comes just as my own nuclear family is being whittled away by time and distance, and the renewed sense of connection is redemptive.
Departing DC has been one of the most significant positive changes in the past year and I think in my life. I was emotionally stuck and repressed for over two years living in DC. I felt as though I could not be me not only because of my job but because of my emotional struggles and obstacles that prevented me from overcoming my fear, doubt and blame for my situation and being. I needed a change to say: Hey I do not NEED to stay here just for a livelihood, just so I can have a job to pay my rent over 13 hours away from where I grew up. I do not NEED to rush to run away and WAIT to foster real growth in my life. Leaving DC opened many doors that were closed for two years. The separation was huge for my emotional and spiritual well being. For example, I finally felt as though I did not need to wait anymore to achieve what I really wanted to do for work. I did not need to wait to figure out when I was going to go to school. I did not need to wait any longer. I had to only look at the real situation before me. I did not come from resources or financial stability. My loans and grants paid my way through college and I did not save up. I felt as though I was trapped in a job just so I could stay away from this reality and the reality that, hey, if you really want to build up your future and resume for what you really want to do, you have to look right in front you. When I departed DC, it was hard for me to admit these realizations to myself. I felt as though I needed to rush to be successful. For if I wasn't successful, my imperfections would destroy me and my chances for acceptance and growth. Yet really, my self-doubt, fear and blame on myself drove me to anxiety and panic attacks for which I felt the physical effects and so I knew I had to make a decision. My parents, and my sister are my real support system. I love them dearly. I knew this was the truth. When I was accepted for a job in Boston, I knew I would have to move into an non-ideal apartment or far away to actually work in a job that I truly did not really enjoy. I made a decision that I knew would involve sacrifice, compromise and emotional discipline. But this decision created a path in which I could finally see the horizon. I could see that if on this path, I would feel better, more aware of what I needed and what true contentment really looked like. Sometimes, you have to jump head first into what you foresee as a difficult process, to really trust that process. Sometimes that difference between what you want and what you really want is right in front of you.
My wife and I had a baby this year. This has been great and horrible at the same time. How did it affect me? For the first time in my life, I feel old. (I'm 38.)
I had a bit of an existential crisis, pretentious though that sounds. I couldn't work out why I was here on this earth - what it all meant, if it COULD mean anything. One particularly bad day, I went on a walk along the canal, talking to myself, asking myself questions over and over, getting no answers. In the end, I found I had to stop worrying that there was no reason for my life, and find my own reasons for living. Drawing, writing, going for walks, exploring new places, having new experiences - these were the things that I used both to distract myself from those questions, and to go some way towards answering them. I still don't really know why I'm here, but I can choose my own purposes, however small.
A battle with medication-induced depression, which brought on the end of my first relationship, and the discovery that sometimes the most wonderful people can be the most hurtful. I wish I could take back almost the entirety of this last year. On the other hand, I finally realized that I'm asexual. It explains a lot.
I completed my disseration and recieved my PhD. I feel successful, greatful, and inspried to continue my life-long learning.
I got pregnant - with twins! I am excited, grateful, scared, overwhelmed, full of wonder and disbelief, shocked, calm, ready, happy and nervous.
My father in law passed away this year. He had a wonderful passing. He knew that all of his friends and his wife were waiting for him. I am grateful that he did not suffer and made an easy transition.
I got a job this yer, it a part time job as a coffee making waitress but it's in a virgin gym, virgin are amazing to work for. I love having the independence of earning my own money, I can go out and buy something and not have to feel guilty. I also paid tax for the first time this year.. I didn't enjoy that.
I think the two most significant things that have happened in the past year are Jim moving in and going off of my medication. One is very positive; the other is not so positive. I am thrilled sharing my day to day life with Jim, and I suspect by this time next year we will be married. As for the second significant thing, well... it hasn't gone so well. The process of going off of my medication took seven months. The first bit was rocky because I followed the prescribed route, which wasn't all that helpful, so I took a lot longer than suggested and it went really well... until I went off them entirely. Then, my world fell apart. I am going to my doctor next week to get back on the medication, but not at the original dosage. The good side of this, is that I found that a lower dosage works well for me and the way Jim has handled my crazy.
I was accepted into nursing school and am now attending classes. Nursing was my major of choice and I was only accepted within that major to one school, so I wonder what I would have done if I wasn't accepted anywhere. It would have required me to reevaluate my entire career choice. Being accepted to one school also determined where I would be spending the next three years of my life. I am very grateful to be in San Francisco, as I am falling in love with the city. I'm proud of myself for being accepted into such a competitive field, but I still sometimes wonder if it was the right choice for me.
i had so many significant experiences this year, it's difficult to know where to start. this was the Year of Yes. i realized that i had been living the Life of No and made a promise to myself and my community to say "yes" more often. i think i said a lot of "no" in my previous marriage because i was afraid of drama and confrontation. i was afraid of connecting with others. i think, ultimately, i was afraid of being myself, which is likely a reflection of how poor my self-love was. the Year of Yes allowed me to host more potlucks, go to more parties, go see so much live music, eat, drink and connect with my community, go on a life-changing adventure around the world, meet amazing people, including, but not limited to, my amazing current partner/lover. the experience also opened up my heart in so many ways and made me interminably more grateful and aware of all of the goodness in my life. making connections and forging relationships is incredibly healing, which has been especially true with my relationship with myself. saying "yes" has allowed me to figure out more clearly who i am and what i need to maintain a balanced, healthy life (love, honesty, trust, laughter, togetherness, alone time, creative pursuits, music...). i'm so thankful for the ability to say "yes" and for the lessons that saying "yes" taught me.
I am running a national political campaign pretty much single-handedly. I didn't know I had it in me.
Broke up with evil Rich , had surgery rt arm , quit Montgomery hos, Lawsuit , disability , Ashleys grad , Jess sweet 16, new and great job , Will take CCM exam and further my career, Met new nice guy , Bob , Many significant experiences .
I had my 6oth birthday. My children totally surprised me with a wonderful present of a memory book. They communicated with my friends and family in a way that I never imagined they would. I knew they have grown into responsible, caring adults, but I didn't imagine that they would "take over" a celebration that I was planning and surprise me with such beautiful and meaningful gift. I am overwhelmed, grateful, and a little fearful...
I started dating my boyfriend. I never really thought that I would have a boyfriend in high school, but this year things changed. We just get along so well and it's so easy with him. I'm so glad I met him and I've just been so happy being with him.
I started my new job and quit Starbucks. Starbucks was the first time I had a shit job since before college, and this new job is the first one I've ever really loved. So, it's been a great transition - and I'm so happy here. It's really good motivation for me to stay in recovery and be healthy, because I want to keep this job more than anything.
After my mom told my brother she has lung cancer, he called me and we talked about it for three hours. We never talk. That's probably longer than I've talked to him cumulatively over the last three years. We both cried. We were scared. I felt like I could support him. I hoped it would lead to more conversations. That was back in March or April and not much has changed since then, but that one conversation gives me hope that we might be closer some day.
This year marked by 4th Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. It was a significant experience in my life because I raised over $5,000 in this year alone. I captained a team of three other women, all of whom raised at least $2,000 and had an experience that changed their lives. The Avon Walk continues to keep me striving to make positive changes in the world around me. It affects several months of my year due to fundraising, training and organizing. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to make a difference and know that I'm doing what I do for those I love and those who can't do it themselves for whatever reason. I am inspired to work even harder next year - maybe to raise $5,500 or more, maybe to increase the number of people on the team, maybe to visit a different city, maybe to host a fundraiser fit to remember.
In the past year, my two best friends got married and I was maid of honor in their weddings. These weddings happened within a month of my break up with David. Allowing myself to let go of my love and usher my best friends into the next stages of their lives was a huge growing experience for me. It was challenging, painful and heartbreakingly beautiful to feel such joy and pain at the same time. I'm grateful for my friends, their amazing husbands, and to be free to welcome the next love of my life to step towards me.
I was asked to be part of a major project at work. This could significantly impact my career and am so grateful for the opportunity. It's causing me to work in a high pressure/high stress environment, but so far I have been able to shine.
challenging moments in my marriage where it feels like we lost our center- lost our core, and were unable to stay peaceful and grounded during major extended family unheavel i am grateful- because we need to leanr how to keep our family string even during big storms it is also exhausting
Got cheated on. Grossed out
I joined a gym for the first time in my life at 38 yrs of age. I started working out regularly and I was weak. My strength is improving. I LOVE how alive it makes me feel. Very energized and on fire. Clears negative energy out. Great stress reliever :D
Two of my adult children got divorced. I have been devastated to lose one of my daughters in law. We were very close.
I retired from my job of 12 years, closing the chapter on a career in health care and compliance that lasted close to 20 years. It is a true life change, and one I'm still coming to terms with and getting used to. I am so grateful that my husband is supportive of me and my choice, and am enjoying exploring the many other things in life besides a desk in a high-pressure office.
I took a long trip to a place I dreamed about visiting since long ago. It was a great experience and it really inspired me to keep on traveling the world for as long as I can and I´m looking forward to do it at least once a year. On the other hand, a very close friend has unexpectedly passed away causing me a deep sorrow.
Mi sono laureata. Ho scoperto dopo tanto il lavoro che voglio fare nella mia vita e mi sono sentita cresciuta. Un po' spaventa, un po' mi eccita vedere dove sono arrivata.
I bought a house in the last year - It's made me appreciate the planning Mum did before she died, that's the only reason I'm lucky enough to be rent and mortgage free. I don't take enough pride in it though which makes me feel guilty. Also, I feel guilty because I enjoy owning a house, but I wish I still had Mum here with me.
A summer trip to the United States to work and travel took me out of the UK for an order of magnitude longer than any of my previous foreign excursions. Though physically and emotionally exhausting, it helped me break out of my comfort zone, and do some things I would have normally shied away from.
My husband moved out for a few months. Our relationship had been struggling. I was forced to face myself and what I had done to bring us to that moment. I am both grateful and relieved. I was able to really get on top of many issues I have had since I was young and am able to manage things better. We are now back together and stronger than ever for it. As horrid and difficult as it was - it was worth it to be where we are today.
I was in a relationship that I thought was solid and serious, and then it turned out that there were cracks I hadn't seen. It was only when it was over that I discovered that I needed to see the whole picture.
I had "minor" surgery, which I had been dreading. I was in near hysterics that morning, and, of course, the aftermath was painful. But it was not anywhere near as painful as I had been afraid of. I am glad I went through with it, and I hope a grew a little as a result.
My mother-in-law moved in with us for several weeks. She was not well. She became very demanding, complaining about every single thing. She talked non-stop, whether anyone was around or not. Eventually her complaints and demands pushed my husband over the line -- he reached his breaking point. So then I had to deal not only with her and her demands but he was completely unable to function for several days. I have never considered leaving my husband -- until this. I packed a bag, I could not see dealing with her on a long-term basis. I was very resentful. I guess I still am quite resentful. She's since moved out, into her own apartment, and is doing quite well now. But our relationship is (from my perspective) strained -- I have to force myself to go visit her once a week. I'm RELIEVED that she gained enough health to maintain independence and live alone.
I have finally been seen and respected at work, for what I do and how I help many people. It made me feel humbled and happy. "My time has finally arrived" I am definitely grateful, but it motivates me to keep doing what I know is best!
Besides raising my baby (now toddler), I can't think of a significant experience in the past year. Huh. Oh wait! I had a miscarriage this spring. It was terribly upsetting but just for a couple days. Then I thought of it as a natural way of nature resolving a problem. I am grateful though because -- although we don't know why I miscarried -- it raised my awareness about the possible implication of the blood-clotting disorders in my family, and so when I got pregnant again a few months later, I was able to be very pro-active and get on blood thinners immediately. So far, so good! Also, the fact that I got pregnant very quickly both times -- as an older (41 y.o.) mom -- was reassuring!
Too many to note - unfortunately, all negative so far. Cancer. Continued illness. I'm sad and overwhelmed most of the time but hopeful it will get better - healing is possible.
I finally started therapy. It was very difficult for me to admit that I needed help. But I'm very glad for the circumstances that led me to get the help that I needed. I'm so grateful that someone cared enough about me to tell someone what was going on with me. And because of that I'm still alive and breathing.
I opened my eyes to the miracle of the natural world. Seeing God's creatures living amongst us with the gifts given to all living things. I have also had a realization that I need to surrender my notion of control. I can't and don't control nature and God's creatures survive just fine. I need to do that and surrender to the power that is in us all.
BBYO changed my life. It made me experience true friendship and true fun. Now when I hear people are going to parties to drink and do "fun" party things I realize that I am so lucky to have experienced BBYO and have experienced real fun, not "fun" aka drinking and doing drugs. Being a leader on regional board made me so confident, my confidence was through the roof the past year and I can only hope to gain even more confidence this year at college. Right now, I seem to have very few college friends and I think back to/ miss my BBYO friends. I think about how lucky my brother is to get to experience the whole BBYO experience for 4 1/2 years. I'm so proud of him for taking on the great challenge of running for shaliach. He will do so great. I'm very grateful for the friendship I've developed with my bro Aaron Cahen, he really is an incredible individual. I know our friendship will never, never die. He and Jeremy are my best friends I'll probably ever have. They will be my best friends forever.
Finally, finally, my school chose a new dean and I am "off the hook." I feel relieved and I realize that this past year I really didn't want to be doing this anymore.
Last year, I went to a behavioral center for my suicidal thoughts and self-harm. When I was discharged two weeks later, I felt that God had given me this second chance. It affected me more than I could have imagined. I found someone to help me overcome my social struggles and learn more about how Asperger's affected me. Months later, I made friends for the first time in years. And something happened to me that I never thought I could feel: I was happy. Despite how everything led to what I call my "new lifestyle," I consider myself blessed. To know that death isn't an option you can chose. That happiness IS possible. And no one can stop you from reaching your dreams.
I was laid off from my job. Looking back on it, it was very scary and traumatic because I had always worked for the government and there was so much uncertainty. I was able to get a settlement but the unknown of being able to find a job before I ran out of money in this economy was very scary. Now I am relieved because the job I found within 6 months is being a supervisor. I am not under nearly as must stress I was in with my previous job and my boss is backing me up. I feel appreciated and not I am getting valuable supervisory experience in a completely different capacity than where I was before. It is amazing how things work out for a reason.
Probably the most interesting thing that happened to me this past year was to be published for the first time. It was really exciting to see my name in print and the words that were written. I felt grateful and also inspired to do more writing for publication.
I visited an aunt, uncle and cousin who live across the country. I haven't seen them in years and due to my aunt/uncle's ill health and the distance between our homes, this may be the last time I see them. It reminded me that I need to connect with people before its too late.
This past January, I was asked to help plan the first Relay For Life on my college campus. We only had three months to plan it, and in the end, I was asked to lead the next one as an Event Chair. I am so excited for the possibilities that can come from this opportunity but am scared that I will fail as a leader. I hope that I am able to lead my team in the direction that it needs to go without excluding the ideas and passion that they have for the fight against cancer. To the future you: I hope you got over this fear you have about having authority and being afraid all the time that you aren't good enough to have that authority. But I guess we'll see, won't we?
I finally gathered up the courage to tell Aaron how I feel. And he feels the same. I'm so, so lucky to be with him.
I went to a burn. I'm incredibly grateful. It changed a lot for me, it showed me how human we all are and was a step in realizing that I am included in that. I'm working on letting the principles inspire me all year long, and I'm so excited that I get to have more of these burn experiences soon.
Corah left. It is awful. I have never felt such pain. Angry resentful unforgiving hurt broken. Healing is slow and hard. One step forward three back.
I began to participate in AL-ANON. One night, two irregulars stayed with me for three hours mostly listening to me tell about my highly dysfunctional l family and how it's affected my children. Especially, the son who later became an addict and alcoholic. It made we feel all the above, except resentful. That is: grateful, relieved and inspired.
I was admitted to graduate school in UIUC and I was extremely excited about it at the time of. Wondering how this is going to play out over the next few years (anxiety is the best way to put it). I'm happy that it puts off making any real decisions about what I'll be doing in the future, because it's pretty much set in stone for the next 4-5 years, and I've got a great group of friends here which will help get me through any rough points.
I finally dove into that MLIS I've been talking about for ages. The experience of just throwing caution to the wind and hitting "send" was exhilarating. I knew that I was going to get in - I mean, they'll pretty much take anyone with a BA - but there's something amazing about finally realizing there's never going to be a good time. Sometimes, you've just got to go ahead and jump.
I graduated school (last week actually), and it seems absolutely crazy how time flies! I really, truly, and genuinely loved school, and hold my school experience hugely responsible for shaping the person that I am today. It hasn't really kicked in yet that I will never be a school student again, but it seems pretty scary that the safety net that has been a constant throughout my life, is no longer there for me... In so many ways I wish I could go back and redo my school years- but I guess I just gotta move on. It scares me to the core that I am now out there in the big wide world, but it excites me just a little bit more :)
Had a car accident but only got a sore foot (the car was totalled).
My half-brother was born. I love him so much. Words can't describe that. He gives me so much with just being himself.
I quite my job at TJMaxx and started as an intern for Marketing at a real estate company downtown. I got hired less than two months in which was awesome. I really don't like my boss but I'm looking at this as a stepping stone to something greater.
Last November I started a year-long training program to use astrology for counseling. Astrology has been a hobby of mine for six years, but this is the first time that I'm doing something concrete to try to get paid for it, and preferably make a living doing it. It's a good feeling to be merging my need for creative self-expression with my need to earn an honest living. This is the first job I've ever had in my life where I feel like I'm using MY skills, and not just the skills that other people want me to have. Some of it is challenging, especially the entrepreneurial parts, but that's life. This job is forcing me to stretch and grow in interesting ways, and that's a good thing.
In the last year, I moved to a different state. It made me look into my old fish bowl and question what I really want in my life, who I want to be, and my own self worth. I am grateful that I leaped even if I didn't have the outcome I expected. I am relieved that I know where home is now. I do hold some resentment, but not for the person I moved to but toward myself for allowing myself to trust and believe what was being said instead of realizing what was being shown. I am inspired to be a better person for myself, toward others, and to look forward instead of back.
I completed a year of Americorps service. I wish I was more inspired, but it was good job experience. I got to spend time in a very troubled school, which was eye opening and incredibly difficult. I got to know some amazing students and dedicated staff- I hope to always be able to look back on this experience and not lose the grounding sense it gave me. I just began my second year, so I look forward to seeing what will come of this experience.
I graduated from grad school. Got my MA in Music and Music Education. Dropped close to $50000 to do it. Meaning I'm deeper in debt than I was before and still not making any more money at my job. Initially, I was really proud of myself. I graduated with a 4.0. But I don't feel like it was so difficult to do. If I was studying business or medicine and got a 4.0 then maybe I'd feel like it was more worth it. I'm really proud of myself that i made it through, but it really makes me think about how I'm going to put it to use in the upcoming ear.
I had a month off after my hysterectomy. Returning to work was like the frog jumping into the pot of boiling water I had gotten accustomed to in the past years. It has made me seriously consider my career choices, or rather, that I have not made choices but have instead just floated along where the current seemed to be taking me. I am inspired and also afraid. Wanting to change but hoping something will happen and things will change for me. Knowing that my passivity is not serving me but feeling frozen.
Losing my dog. Inspired to live life more fully and continue to master the moment.
The most significant thing that happened this year was that I completed my paralegal certificate that I began in 2007. I should have finished late 2009 or early 2010 but had a stroke that interfered. I am hopeful it will lead to long-term employment. I am relievd because it was a challene finding an internship that was required near the end.
I decided to uproot my entire life in Pittsburgh, dump all my stuff at my parents' house, and move to Tel Aviv-Yafo, Israel to do a 10 month volunteer program. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. It's a very different travel experience from any I've ever had before- I'm actually trying to do an immerison experience instead of a see a bunch of cool things and then leave experience. It started out OK, despite my anxiety popping up, but then the apartments got robbed, and trying to shake off the psychological aftermath has been rough. I'm going to stay, but I don't know what will happen.
I committed to a diet and made it to my goal weight. I have maintained that weight for 4 months now. I want to maintain it for a full year. I feel like I can do anything. I hope I can keep at this weight. It is a lot of work. I keep a daily diary of food and exercise. But, It is getting easier.
My father became eternal on April 3, 2012. It was one of my biggest fears to lose him but his death made him immortal for me. I could finally embrace his soul. I was really grateful to God that He blessed us with so many blessings. He was a CLD patient, maybe because he was a Caring-Loving-Dad. I not only found a lot of strengths in me but most importantly, I feel that now his prayers and love is always with me.
My wife is pregnant. She's due quite soon and very excited and nervous about parenthood.
We were taken advantage of by a dishonest home renovation guy. He probably stole from both us and the contractor who hired him to work on our place. I'm still resentful.
I started to self harm. I found an outlet in cutting myself that I've never really found anywhere before. It was elicit, exhilarating, terrifying, empowering, daring, embarrassing and many more things all rolled into one. It made me realize just how bad things have become. I wish I'd never started, it's completely addictive.
My son & his wife became pregnant - early days yet but I am over the moon happy to be becoming a Grandmother. Another cute bottom to kiss, another precious soul to treasure.
I essentially decided to change the entire course of my life based on summer research. It's terrifying because I have always been one of those people who has known what they want to do from the get-go, and now I'm much less confident. I am also scared of what my dad will say/think...and his words and thoughts will make me second guess myself. I won't follow my passion because I want to please him.
So much has happened in the last year and I wish for this year's reflection to be much different than what it was last year. From last September, I was about 90 days sober and I have continued to stay sober through the program of AA. While it would be easy to say that I wish I was further along in the step work, I would like to take the oppportunity to address what has been successful. I got my 200 hour yoga certification through Kindness Yoga. While I decided not to teach when it was all said and done, I am grateful for the 6-month journey. I got really connected with the yoga community, and about 6 of us have branched off to start a women's circle where we meet monthly to commune and discuss whatever is in our heart's from the previous month. I continued to go back and forth with an ex through the great part of 2011 and well into 2012. I believe that healing is finally happening there and I am FINALLY moving on. I can only hope the same for him. I thought I was never going to get over that relationship. I dated a couple of guys, the relationship with my dad has come a long way. My mom moved to Denver, which meant that I would be staying with my dad every time that I went back home. God works in mysterious ways, and truly does answer prayers. I stalled in step 4 for the last 11 months and finally 5th stepped this week reading my entire life story to my sponsor, Lisa. While I'd love to say that I've felt a lot of repreive, that hasn't been the case so far, but I can tell that I want to live life differently. I am really grateful for so much. I did notice September 13th, 2012 come and go, which is the 2-year anniversary date for my job. I have no clue where I'll be next year, but I am happy to say that I've lasted this long. I get the feeling that it's time for a change - and a big one at that. I am inspired. I am grateful.
I moved back to California from Michigan, changed jobs, and became a step-mother. Feeling grateful and relieved. And inspired. Being a step-parent is hard in a way I wasn't expecting.
I moved to Australia for the year; it's made me learn a lot about myself and what I can do.
Graduated with a bachelor's degree AND began a master's degree. I felt proud, maybe a bit overwhelmed, but not freaked out.
I finished my first year of college. I felt proud. I am not sure I really believed I could do it, so I felt proud and triumphant. I did it!
Midwife to another government website with no prior experience and, in spite of everything in the way of getting it done, made sure it wasn't entirely one, as well as survive. Never knew I had it in me to draw it out of myself and others; wish I knew then what I know now about successfully creating for the sake of beneficent change.
I finished graduate school and moved for a job. Starting over again in yet another new city and building my network all over again is intimidating and exhausting, however 3 months in I am fortunate to have found a great group of friends and slowly starting to make this place my own. My job challenges me in many ways, but every day I am reminded how much I enjoy working in the Jewish community.
I endured a grueling test to earn my black belt in kaju kempo. How did it change me? I learned I can endure exhaustion and pain; I learned I can stand up after being knocked down; I learned that I have a community that supports me. I am grateful. And I was relieved to have it all over with! And proud of myself, a 53 year old woman who up until 5 years ago, had no idea she could fight. I am relieved. And proud.
A significant experience that happened in the past year was moving into my own apartment, paying my own rent and working in a stable job. I was always interning or clerking or doing something that was temporary. I am part of something bigger now and I am grateful for the opportunity.
I achieved a high First in one of my drama modules: Physical Theatre. I was so relieved, and grateful and proud of myself, because I'd worked hard and worked at my most creative and passionate level, and it all paid off. It helped me boost my confidence, and I think it is part of the reason I feel so motivated to go after my dreams now.
I got to go to South Africa. I saw a school there, what very limited resources they had and how eager they were to learn in spite of their hardships. I also saw beautiful animals on safari in their natural habitat; it was so incredible. Finally, I spoke at a meeting planners convention and received such high ratings; it was very validating.
I signed the lease on a loft space in a former warehouse that was so raw it didn't even have a shower when I moved in. A month later, I quit my full-time job after I realized the extent to which I'd been lied to and taken advantage of by The Management. For two years now, I've wanted a space like this loft to train myself on audio recording, host concerts and a writers' group, brew beer, house friends visiting Brooklyn or whatever. The idea was to start pulling in enough of an income from recording bands and freelance writing that I could quit my full-time job. Weirdly, having the shit hit the fan at the job when it did meant that suddenly I had that freedom from the day job way ahead of schedule... and I had to figure out how to make it work pretty much immediately without bankrupting myself! (Which I still might do...) Renovating this place while lining up freelance gigs and waiting for other people to be able to sign off on my assignments (and paychecks) has been physically, mentally and psychologically exhausting. I'm not gonna lie. But I'm in it this deep now. I can't stop. I just need to trust that I can do it and that things will be okay once I've cleared that "Freelance Gap" in between doing the work and getting paid for the work. Meanwhile, I will continue slamming St. John's Wort to stave off the demons.
We moved! It was the right decision, we followed our hearts, and we're very happy.
My long time partner agreed to marry me - I am grateful for the happiness she's given me, but a little bit resentful that we found each other so late in life. We will never have the chance to have biological children together, to celebrate our silver or golden anniversaries, etc. Hopefully we will have many years of enjoying each other's companionship and love.
I began tutoring a mature immigrant in the English language. It is amazingly gratifying and I'm very grateful for the privilege. I'm constantly inspired by her determined effort and dedication.
I planned the perfect birthday for myself. It was spent with three people who i care about and cRe about me. I came away feeling loved....not once during that day did i focus on what i did not have.
Becoming an Architect. It was a long term goal/process and I am definitely relieved to have completed the process. At the same time it was a bit anti-climactic to pass such a major career milestone and not know exactly what comes next in terms of goals.
I had a delightful but ill deserved adventure in Thailand. I am still both grateful and inspired
I got a new professional job and moved to a nice town. I am gaining a sense of stability in my life and moving on from negative patterns or habits that governed me. I am making decent money and making goals with what kind of lifestyle I want to have. For now, I am stable and have a decent job that I can be grateful for, and moving forward with my goals.
Bought and planted a rosa avensis, crab apple tree and apple tree . Getting the garden started- after years of wandering. For some reason felt very pleased, as if it was the start of something.
I started doing beer reviews on YouTube and it has been not only a lot of fun, but I have met some really cool people and learned a great deal about craft beer. It's inspired me to continue doing this and take up homebrewing!
Just today decided to resign my position with the Board of Directors at my synagogue. I'm very much relieved. There are wonderful people at this congregation, but the board has become dysfunctional and the process of management is sucking all the spirituality out of the community for me.
My mother died this past year. Even though it happened months ago, I am still incredibly sad and feel disconnected from my family and my community. Everyone seems to have moved on and I am trying but it's still so hard.
The whole of my experience at drama school this year. It was challenging, rewarding, frustrating, terrifying, elating, exhausting, life affirming, fear inducing and everything in between. I am grateful to have had the opportunity, relieved that it is over as I was verging on exhaustion, resentful that I'm still questioning my acting ability, and inspired that I know I can act and I will act, I just have to recover from the exhaustion and flakiness first. It was a life changing experience and I do not want to end up wasting it.
I got my driver's license this year. It was a relief and an excitement because it feels like it took me forever to get it. I failed my permit test several times and that kind of crushed me a tiny bit.
Eleyna graduated! I was relieved and excited for her to start college and grow.
I have rekindled relationships with relatives and friends through Facebook and Ancestry.com It is wonderful to recognize the work of the Lord in all of our lives, and to see that integrity, perseverance, faith, and mahy other virtues are a constant in so many lives. It is encouraging to feel the life in everyone is optimistic and dedicated.
My eldest daughter got married. It feels a little strange that she now has a husband, a new last name and is now the mother of a 9 year old. And it suits her perfectly.
I finished grad school. It was entirely different from undergrad, especially because I intentionally kept myself socially distant from the experience and focused on home life instead. It wasn't the greatest experience, but I'm glad to be a real social worker now and have no more school ever.
After being given an opportunity to restore her trust in me, I was able to marry the woman who made herself vulnerable to understand what was wrong with me and inspired me on the road to recovery. I am immensely grateful and carry a sense of continued inspiration to be the best partner I can.
I found out that my pawpaw has mild parkinsons. Just within the past year his hand has started getting very shaky and he doesn't seem as mentally sharp. I hope his condition doesn't worsen quickly. This news made me realize how huge he is in my life and how much I appreciate him
Honestly, this year has been pretty normal. Not a heck of a lot happened. Went to Spain last October and had a blast. Went to France and enjoyed it too. I think the highlight was when I ran a half-marathon across the golden gate bridge. I drove over it 1000 times but never walked across it. Fitting since I wasn't nearly in the kind of shape to run a halfie. That and attending my friend Seth's wedding this past weekend. He's a lucky guy, she's great.
My puppy dying after only 3 weeks with him affected me because it just got me thinking that sometimes the miracle is just being able to have someone in your life, no matter how briefly it is.
I have taken charge of my self, lost nearly 60 lbs and I have been working out. I feel energized, healthy and beautiful and most of all grateful.
Cancer My Dad had 2 separate cancer diagnoses over the past year, first multiple myeloma and the second melanoma. It's been a myriad of feelings and emotions. On top of coping with the weird and wonderful side effects of chemotherapy my Dad also has to manage chronic back pain which at times can be crippling. His strength, positivity and persistence have amazed and inspired me, he is one of the strongest people I know. My Mum has been amazing and has been by his side every step of the way, she has willingly sacrificed so much to be there for him including giving up many activities she is usually involved in. It demonstrated to me the power of ones will and re-iterated the importance of a loving and supportive family. I feel so blessed and I have learned to cherish every day. Life is a gift which should not be wasted. For anyone interested my Dad, a retired surgeon, has written a blog on his experiences and has a number of different sections that explore things such as life, love, death, pain and fear. The website is http://whatschemolike.wordpress.com/about/ Please take a look and pass it onto anyone who may benefit.
The birth of my second daughter. It had the strange effect of making me feel even more like a father. I began working even harder to put my family in a position of stability and find a way to become a more grounded, positive person.
I ended up getting romantically involved with one of my best friends at the end of last spring. I really liked her, but after a while it became apparently that she just wasn't romantically into me. We transitioned back into being friends pretty well, and after a while, I stopped feeling so strongly for her. I was glad I went through the process because it gave me more perspective on what I like and what I don't like in a partner. I feel like every failed relationship, every unrequited love I go through, I move one step closer to finding someone whom I can feel good spending time with.
Getting let go from my job. I knew i wasn't happy and it wasn't getting better and i had already started my job search, but i am still disappointed i didn't succeed in this role.
I worked with the homeless population at a medical clinic in DC. There is not one single experience that sticks out in my mind because I learned so much from all of my patients. To see the trials and tribulations these people have gone through and that many of them can still get up every morning and smile is unbelievable. I am so so grateful for this experience, it has changed my perspective on life. I am also tremendously humbled and inspired by some of my patients and their stories. If they can get through their challenges (i.e.- finding shelter and food) then I can certainly get through mine.
My cousin asked me to be there when she gave birth to her third child. I was honored to be asked and it fulfilled an unexpressed desire I had to attend a birth. I will not have children myself, so it's the closest I will get to that experience. It was incredible- indescribable emotionally and forever changed the way I look at my cousin and our relationship.
This has been the year that everyone left. Most of my friends have graduated college and have either gotten a job and moved, or gone to grad school and moved. I've had to re-learn a couple of things as a result: how to stay in touch, how to make new friends, how to be okay with being alone. I think I have more confidence and more faith in myself, as a result. I'm not so afraid to try new things anymore.
Estoy agradecida con la vida y con mis padres porque por fin he terminado mi carrera de Licenciada en Educación Preescolar, y además conseguí una plaza con el primer lugar en el examen, por lo que me tocó muy cerca de mi casa, en la Ermita de Guadalupe. Otra cosa es que justo cuando menos lo esperaba, encontré a una persona especial en mi vida que me ha aceptado en la suya. Soy feliz con mi novio Ramón y no le puedo pedir más a la vida.
The Jewish new year? Or the real new year? I can tell you the date that something inside of me clicked. I can't tell you why. I got invited to join in a tradition of going to Disneyland for New Year's Eve. I managed to sweet talk my way into having that happen at DCA so I could watch the WOC version. I expected the world and they gave me a solar system. It was foggy as all get out and we probably were blinded from 10k in fireworks. At some point in the day I got weird. I was enveloped by more than one person, all of whom seemed to like me. And I was surrounded by the safest least threatening place on this earth or any other. And apparently I was a smidge dehydrated and underfed. Inhibition left me entirely and I have been a changed man since. I wish I understood what happened and I hope to someday recreate it.
overall, being in israel itself was quite significant. some specifics that stick out- going to poland and seeing concentration camps- really made me think about what happened to my people. ultimate peace- simply the coolest, most powerful thing i have ever done. i felt like i was a part of something bigger than myself and something important. it was so fun and so fulfilling. EIE- connecting with so many different kids, i think it was an important experience for my judaism, for my understanding of israel and for showing me my love for working with kids. reunited with my college roommates- it just felt so good to be with them again and felt as if no time had passed newson's wedding- my best friend getting married, also the first of my good friends to get married. certainly a super fun event, but symbolizes a new era in my life
Many significant experiences, from small daily miracles to feelings of gratitude, from hiring an apprentice and having someone to share part of my workload to coming out healthy from a surgery, celebrating a loving relationship with a new companion, mantainig a close relationship with my daughters and sons, with my aging parents and sister, all amount to being grateful, relieved and inspired
I had my first international speaking engagement, in China. It was pretty nerve-wrecking getting ready for it, but the trip itself was a great adventure (save the unfortunate hot water burns). Now that I've done it, I feel way more confident about it--especially considering I'm getting ready for my next talk right now!
I have been presented with the opportunity to leave my job. This comes with mixed emotions. I am relieved and I am also resentful.
Working at the national headquarters at the American Cancer Society was the most significant experience I had in the past year. I worked with people at the very top of the organization. I was able to get hands on experience on projects I had only learned about in a classroom during my undergrad. I worked on communication materials, social media, and even the internal radio show. I am and will always be so grateful to be given the opportunity to work for the organization. It not only reinforced my love for communication, but showed me the wonder of the nonprofit industry. Thanks to ACS, I was able to determine which master's program to apply to. Working for the organization was never 'work.' I was always so thankful to be going into the office to fight for a significant cause. My days at ACS are significant as it lead me to where I am today.
Two significant moments combined to produce one experience: my dissatisfaction with the running of one company caused me to seek a different position elsewhere. The opportunities now given to me are outstanding and unbelievable.
Separation between me and my daughter. Mixed feelings: sorrow and relief.
My Masters Degree program thatmy wife has been after me for years has been a blessing of mental stimulation. I amgrateful thatI began it.
Harry's bar mitzvah was the culminating moment and event of our years. Everything we did from September of 2011 through September 3 of 2012 was focused on his bar mitzvah - the service, his reading, our readings, the speeches, the party, the events with family and friends, and the entire experience. We spent too much, didn't eat enough at the party, danced for hours, saw so many wonderful people, cried when listening to his speech, cried when giving our speeches and loved the entire weekend. But getting to that point, with the planning and the tutoring sessions and my absolute horror of a job of reading my lines from the Torah were terrifying, overwhelming and wonderful. Two more to go!
Started to feel the publishing industry slow down. I design book covers, so this has me concerned to say the least. Time to diversify.
I'm grateful for a new component to my responsibilities at work, which brings additional compensation AND the ability to use old skills not immediately seen as relevant in my current profession. It helps me avoid boredom, which was beginning to seep in after 7 years of more or less the same thing.
The most significant event that happened in my life this year was the birth of my second daughter, Michaela Drew. She was named after my brother who passed away while we were pregnant. She was also born on the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks. Her birth was an amazing experience and a completely different experience from the birth of our first. We set intention and focused on being empowered through this birth; she ended up being born naturally and a VBAC. This signified a major milestone in JoAnne and my journey as a couple. To me, M's birth represents rebirth and the ability to start again. I am grateful for this experience and her health. I am inspired by both of my girls and now that there are here with us, I am excited to continue learning who these two people are, encourage their growth and be their daddy.
I have been fortunate this year. I have been very happy with my family, daily routines, good health, and fun times with friends and family. My grandchildren are growing up and are happy and well adjusted and my children are happily married and progressing in their careers and lives. Hope to keep up the routine and enjoy more happiness in the future. I am looking forward to the trip to Israel in the Spring.
My mother died February 23, 2012. Her passing was not unexpected as she had deteriorating health issues for a number of years. As she lived some distance from me, I was not there when she died. However, one of my nieces had taken her laptop and set up a video on gmail to me and to my sister on the very afternoon before she died. I don't think this was enough to assuage my quilt that I feel since then that I did not make more of an effort to visit her in the week before she died. I was very relieved however that her pain and suffering she had endured for some time was over.
Dad having a stroke and losing vision on the right side of his eye, to where he has no peripheral vision, yet still driving has been quite a concern. I have been so worried about him hitting someone, getting sued and losing his home. No matter what I try to do to get him down here, he won't budge. As an only child, with no support from siblings, the whole thing falls on me. Despite losing his license, he will NOT give up his cars. His doctor refuses to say that he is incompetent and therefor I can't take over his affairs. The cops refuse to come to his house to warn him about driving. I have no idea what I am supposed to do at this point but just hope he doesn't get in another accident.
My Mother died suddenly a year ago. I was shocked and angry--she should have had many more years! I feel like the medical community failed her, and we lost out because of that. While I didn't do or say anything (it was too late by that time), I feel I need to be more of an advocate for my own health as I age. I miss her every single day--she was an inspiration to all that met her. And I pray I'm at least 1/10th as wonderful, positive, and strong!
I took a gap year after my high school. It made me lazy and very, very dreamy. Every day that I worked at the small bakery in my street, I wished I lived in a cottage in England with Sanne. I wished I traveled the world. I wished I was comfortable in my body enough to have sex with someone. I wished I knew whether I was bisexual or not. I wished I was studying at university. It was horrible and perfect. I needed that time to motivate myself to go to university, to figure out - at least a teensy tiny bit - what I wanted. I went on a holiday to England and Scotland, mostly on my own. I was very proud, and it went very well. But I still didn't taste absolute freedom. I still wasn't as fearless as I'd hoped to be.
Peter and I entered into Marriage Counseling. This is significant because strides are being made. I am much less angry, but still at the point where I am a bit detached from the process. I am in a good place where I feel like I am an equal partner with Peter, however, there is still trust issues, intimacy issues and I am still feeling like he could be my brother.
The most significant experience of my past year was easily getting married in August. From the romantic, swept-off-my-feet proposal in Paris to the months of planning, to the actual day itself celebration, it was certainly the defining experience of my year. I am so grateful for my fiancé and happy that we are married. I feel so lucky to have found him, to love him and be loved by him. Knowing that there is someone who is there, no matter what, is such a rich and wonderful feeling. I am looking forward to taking on the world with him -- for the rest of our lives. :)
Tom's dad passed away August 28, 2012. I'm grateful that the struggle is over but often caught off guard on how perpetually sad it is. I feel like I lost my mentor and I feel a great sense of duty to do better- to be better.
I was so sooooo happy to be a bridesmaid at Sarah Mia's wedding. It feels crazy that after so long of thinking about it, it finally happened! It was a magical day and it was absolutely exhausting but I just had the best time. It was amazing.
Sheri's foot/nerve injury. She was fine, and then she suddenly wasn't. My thoughts about it revolved around how all of the things we do to keep healthy and fit - all the spin classes and walks and yoga classes and crossword puzzles - all of that is really just bragging that nothing beyond our control has happened yet. Though about the Stegner quote in Chuck's notebook - "you can plan all you want to. You can lie in your morning bed and fill whole notebooks with schemes and intentions. But within a single afternoon, within hours or minutes, everything you plan and everything you have fought to make yourself can be undone as a slug is undone when salt is poured on him. And right up to the moment when you find yourself dissolving into foam you can still believe you are doing fine. "
I got my nose pierced. It brought me so much joy. It was an adrenaline rush and it was something I had wanted to do for a really long time. When I did it, it signified for me to stop thinking so much, and just act and do it!
I've actually had two significant experiences that have happened in the last year that I can think of. First, last November I found out I was pregnant but then suffered a miscarriage. This affected me greatly. I had already been undergoing fertility treatments and was dealing with feelings of inadequacy and this only further perpetuated those feelings. I felt like a failure. However, just a few months later, after my husband and I decided to stop "trying" to get pregnant and take a break from our fertility treatments, we did finally become pregnant and I am now 33 weeks pregnant and expecting our baby girl in November. Things have really come full circle for us this year and I can say that I am extremely relieved and grateful that I finally conceived.
If anything, I would say it was finding one of our kittens, Sally, who had gone missing for a couple of days. She had become my favorite since I spent time with her putting medicine in her eyes for an eye infection and medicine in her ears for ear mites. I prayed earnestly that I would find her. It occurred to me that she might have fallen into a drainage tube on the other side of the street. I went to the area and started calling her. I shortly heard her crying. The next problem was to get her out. I assumed that I would have to crawl into the tube and hopefully get her to come to me. While I was back at home changing my clothes, my neighbor's wife showed up at the back door with Sally in hand. My neighbor had stood at the end of the tube and called her. Miraculously she came to him. That proved to me that God does answer prayer.
Got married and pregnant. Grateful and relived. Humbled and excited. Inspired to make the best decisions for my family.
I bought my first house alone over this past year. It has shown me that I do not need a man in my life to provide me with the things I want or need. I found the house & bought it on my own!! Not bad for a single mom! Breaking up with last live in lover didn't leave me in an apt that I hate....have a home that I love!
I moved in to an apartment by myself. It's the first time I've ever lived anywhere without family or roommates. It's lonely sometimes but it feels good to be so independent.
Meeting Phil was quite an experience this year. It came with a lot of inner turmoil and angst because it was such a new expereince. I almost wasn't open to it because I was so scared that he lived so far away. What am I even getting myself into?!? I'd think futuristic-ally. I also invited him to Barcelona then uninvited him because I was so freaked out. It also made me more open to my parents because I openly spoke to them about it, but after the fact. I am also proud of myself for keeping it a secret that he came all the way to Stockholm for 24 hours without anyone knowing! Pretty adventurous. I am grateful for the experience becuase it made me grow and be more feminine. It also allowed me to bond with someone older and really relate to him. Trusting myself and my capacity to say what I want and what I don't want was also a learning. Trusting myself allowed me to trust him too. Since Phil is very into being transparent and honest, he also cleared away a lot of space for me to open up because with Shawn, who I hadn't met for last 10Q even, I wasn't open enough to really discuss what was on my mind or even in my heart.
I lost a lot of weight (40#) and got a new job. I have been personally happier than I have been in years.
On December 31st, 2011, my mother had emergency surgery. There was a wound on her lower back at the end of the spine which was infected. My sister, Alice, and I had planned to take care of my mother in January while the caregiver(my sister Natalie) had her own surgery. Alice and I took the trip back to Ohio. We drove Natalie down to the Dayton Air Force Base where she had her surgery. Alice and I both donated blood while waiting. The surgery was a success. We stayed at my Mother's house and picked up my sister the next day. Alice, Natalie, and I stayed at Mom's house while Mom was in rehabilitation. It was a different trip than what we had imagined. Mom had us completing inventories of the house - she knew she would be in rehab for at least three months. I would go in and read to mom each day - she loved to hear the obituaries and other news. Alice and I were in Ohio for about 10 days. I came home in January day before graduate school semester started. I had a wonderful visit with my mother. Alice went back to complete Mom's taxes on February 23rd. Alice was on her way back to her home in Omaha on the morning of February 26th when she called me. We spoke for 2 hours about talking Mom into staying at the rehab until her birthday in July. Alice told me how Mom had deteriorated a lot since we had seen her in January. Mom could no longer control her hands. Another sister and I were going to visit Mom again in March during my spring break. About 4 hours after this morning conversation, Alice called again. Mom had died at 5:00pm on February 26th. Alice had turned around to go back to Ohio. All my siblings gathered for Mom's funeral. The viewing was February 29th - a day we normally celebrate. We buried Mom on March 1st. It was a very small funeral. I am grateful for both trips to Ohio. First I got to spend 10 days with my Mother - we talked, I got to make her laugh, and thank her for helping me out. Second - I am grateful for the seven days I got to spend with my siblings. We are fortunate that we get along - no family is perfect - we are not either. We worked out Mom's estate together in that second visit. Am I relieved? yes. My mother was mentally 100 percent healthy. Physically, she deteriorated so much she could no longer hold a glass, or write, or even use a remote control. I am relieved that she no longer has to watch herself deteriorate. Her death was quick and painless. I miss my Mother. I had talked with her at least once a week the last two years of her life. I am grateful for my brothers and sisters and that I had my mother around for 52 years.
So much has happened that I can't even describe. If anything I just sort of relapsed and went to a hospital for awhile. It's happened before and as always when I got out I thought things would get much better, and they did. My father and I are on good terms again and I have a lot of friends to encourage me. Good people. But it all pales in comparison to this distinguishing fact that while I'm taking my medication I'm nothing more than a hollow. A shell of sorts, I don't feel alive and nothing seems to satiate me. I don't know what I want.
There were three big things: started a new company, my daughter had emergency surgery and I lost a law suit against a former employer. The company has been a lot of fun, though challenging at times both from a market perspective and as a relationship builder (the gig is co-owned with my boyfriend). While Grace lost her right ovary and tube, I never felt closer to her during the process. She was simply amazing - poised, positive, determined, and within two weeks she was back on the basketball court. I remained so calm amid the fear and uncertainty. The lawsuit was a big blow and it made me terribly resentful. The outcome was so fucking unfair! I told the truth and I lost. Had I lied - even just a little - I know I would have won. So sticking with your principles can be bittersweet. But character is shown in hard times and I was certainly tested! We are appealing part of the verdict, so onward we go.
Discovering raw food. Lost 50 lbs, got my life back, found my confidence and inner power, my voice and realized I can do anything. Very grateful, inspired and feel the best that I have in my entire life.
I've met the girl of my life.
I read the quote "She decided to start living the life she imagined." And then I decided the same thing. As of today, I'm down 31 pounds from where I was this time last year. Josie Quick, OSP, and me? Skinny bitches for life. Grateful, relieved, pretty fuckin' proud, and super inspired to finish my journey, and maintain my healthy outlook, both physically and mentally, forever. <3
I lived in Israel for the year. I am incredibly grateful for the experience. It was both wonderful and challenging. I learned so much about myself and the Jewish people - both the good and the less good. Despite the difficulties, I left feeling hopeful for the future of all types of equality in our homeland!
When I realized that someone I love can't help the way they behave, and it's not their fault, I was both relieved and conflicted. It means that we have a great responsibility to be supportive and helpful to him, so that he gets as much of the learning and self control, encouragement to become a good citizen and caring person. I am working hard to have compassion and understanding for his condition and not expecting more than he's capable of, but at the same time I want him to succeed and achieve his potential. I'm overwhelmed by feelings of sadness, love, worry, fear, compassion, and hope.
I graduated from college. I feel less excited by this landmark occasion than I feel I should, and overwhelmed by the future. It has forced me to face reality by moving home.
This past spring I became a Bat Mitzvah, one of eight women aged 50 - 80 years old. It was so incredible to study + meet with all of these amazing women over the period of 2 years. Having all of my family, friends + the congregation there to support us was so uplifting. I have never read Hebrew before without the vowels, or read from the torah, or had to speak in front of so many people or sing/chant alone in front of a congegration! A sense of calm came over me and all I felt was love. I can best describe the amount of joy I experienced as just a level below my own wedding day. It was a very powerful experience!
I was able to legalize my divorce last year. It was a very heavy burden on me, just got lifted. I feel much lighter, and free. Now I am able to get on with my life. I can work more actively towards my happiness and make better choices.
In December last year, Tim, Barry and I went to New York. I have wanted to go for so long, it was just so incredible. Walking the streets made me feel like I belonged there. I finally got to see where John Lennon lived, and died, and saw his memorial in Central Park. I got to spend Christmas day with Tim, just the two of us, walking through Central Park. We spent New Year at Madame Tussauds as well which was so much fun. I am so happy that my dream finally came true and it lived up to my expectations, but now the problem is that nothing else compares. No Christmas or New Year will ever be the same and that make me so sad. Just makes me realise that things can be different and amazing - I just need to make them happen.
I am sure there is something more meaningful, butwhat comes to mind isthe high ropes trails at Catamount. I was afraid, but eventually loved it! I am sure there were some pretty critical parenting moments, but it is minutes before yom kippuir and i cannot dig that deep
break up. all of those things. filled with ire, relief, sadness, hope.
Multiple experiences happened past year, but i'll share two. Just about 2 months after the last 10q one of the best friends of my boy friend (and a good friend of mine) had a bad accident in front of me and my boyfriend and a lot of other people. We were on a birthday party and on our way to go to the bars. My boyfriend and this friend (A) were racing on their bikes when A suddenly lost control over his bike and hit the traffic light face forward. That was one scary ass moment. We went to the hospital to wait for answers, when we heard he was going to be kept in a coma. Weeks passed by and it all ended well, but still it was a pretty heavy experience. It definitly made me value life and friends more. You'll never know what might happen tomorrow or what lies beyond the corner. I'm very gratefull that it ended so well but feel inspired to live my life to the fullest. Next thing is that me and my boyfriend moved in together last june. We found a small appartment and we absolutely love it. I love living together with him, I feel happy each day for making this decision since it so much better than living together on a 16m2 room. But sometimes, sometimes i feel quite i don't know, caged. Nonetheless i love this, and i love my boyfriend to the moon and back :)
Once again a whole year has gone by and it feels 1,000 years and only a month at the same time. Last year my life was pretty opposite from now. Maybe the most significant thing has been being accepted to Grad School and moving to New York. I am so grateful! It is one of the hardest things I have ever done; going through and sorting my entire life of seven years in LA, getting rid of most of it and packing the rest. But also the most cleansing, freeing and strengthening. It feels like life boot camp!
I graduated from college in the top half percent of my class. Though my health and relationships were certainly not in the best of places, I was able to achieve this enormous accomplishment. There were many moments when I could not see much light.
After one of the assistants left I was asked to step in and help out as the Director of Marketing's assistant. Once we hired a new assistant some changes were made and my regular boss and the Director of Marketing asked me to stay on and remain her assistant in addition to my regular job and lists. This was a huge honor. The Director's assistant has a lot of responsibility, allowing me to work with more managers and learn even more about the whole department and division. I was also working closely with the President. This has made me feel really confident in my ability and work ethic. I have already learned so much and it has made me inspired and hopefully that I am in a good position for moving up the ladder, making great connections and getting ahead in my career.
I went to New York with my wonderful girlfriend Sara. Those are experiences that last with you for a lifetime, truly unforgettable. I think we learned that we could live together, share our lives together and thus we're eager to move in together as soon as possible. I personally realised how lucky I am to have her. I was also unemployed for over 6 months which was an experience I don't care to repeat. At first you think 'this could be fun' but it turns out it really isn't. The boredom, sheer tedium and laziness of unemployed life is one thing but I don't think anything prepares you for the complete lack of meaning and direction that your life takes. I was close to a breaking point when I finally got my job and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
I accepted a summer internship with a well known company. That experience opened my eyes and made me evaluate my future considering the perspective I had. I am grateful for the experience but jaded by some of the people that I worked with.
I haave not worked a full-time jobfor most of the past year. While I miss the money, I feel quite relieved about being away from the grind for a while. I know I will have to find a more reliable source of work, but I am truly enjoying not-working.
I quit my career and my relationship -- both things that I was clinging to for security, out of fear of what would happen when I let go with no answers and nothing else to grab. I'm so glad I did it. I'm so scared, still not knowing what's next. But if I didn't do it, I'd live in complacency and regret it for the rest of my life. And that's scarier.
Hiking in the Golan Heights for 3 days was one of the highlights of the year. I felt very calm, and awed at the shear beauty of Israel.
It has been a year of loss. It was hard to lose my home last year but it was worse to lose the people I love. When I lost my job and then my home, my elderly Aunt and Uncle were kind enough to take us in. My 85 year old mother and I moved in to their home in Houston, Texas. It was at that time that we lost our 12 year old cat Mickey. We loved him so and we grieved for him. It was hard because my Mom took care of him and loved him as it was her job to do so. It gave her purpose. A few weeks later my Aunt Mavis passed away from complications of gall bladder surgery. She was such a loving and gracious presence and then she was simply gone. Seven months later my Uncle Dick passed away too in his sleep. He had just given up. We were shocked. It happened so fast. Then It seemed so strange with just my Mom and I alone in the house. What was especially hard was when we received a call that my dear brother Deacon had passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack. He was a widower that had just gotten married again after 5 years alone. A newlywed at 58. We had also lost our sister Audrey 18 months earlier because of a heart attack. Because of this, my brother was committed to living a healthy life. He was fit and trim and active. It was very hard to lose him too. My mother and I mourned him and we are still mourning him. My cousins have been great. They let us live in my Uncle's house but they did need to get the house sold and everything inside it. So my Mom and I decided to move back to Milwaukee. To live near family. My oldest sister Beth lives here and so does my Father and several of my cousins and my nieces and nephews. That's the blessing in all of this. Being able to drop everything and move across the country to be with family. Family has always been important to me, but being with family and having them part of our daily lives is a decision I am grateful to be able to make. I only regret leaving my best friend behind in Texas. She helped us move and she took a pretty hard fall while she was unloading boxes. When she got back to to Texas, she went to the doctor to see about the pain and found out that she is suffering from stage 4 lung cancer with tumors in her brain, her spine, and her liver. She took radiation treatments and is now on Chemotherapy. I wish I could be there with her. She is my best friend and I am so far away. We have shed quite a few tears this past year. Its been hard. I am just so grateful for the people in my life. Thank God for them! They are the blessings that make it all worth it.
January: Finally started to fit in at school. Met Peter Baker. Continued to work with Disability Services and see a counselor. February: Yoga Teacher Training. The self exploration that really jump started the rest of my adventures. I am more grateful for this than most other things. March: I thought I would regret not going to all of the auditions that I panicked about, but I don't. I would never be in China if I had. April: Continued to teach at the Hindu Temple. Performed in a creative collaboration. I was so proud of myself for putting in the time to pursue my true passion and I'm somewhat surprised that it still is. Kissed a girl for real on April 29th (i think). May: First meeting about China. First time hanging out with Cousin Sarah outside of family functions. We burnt chocolate chip pancakes and had a laugh. Black Keys Concert. June: Text and Performance summer class with Lisa Channer. Auditioned for Theatre in the Round. Still wondering what life would be like if I had made it. Tattoo part 2. July. China. Wow. August: Turned 21. Quit my job at Bare Escentuals. I miss it. September: China. And here I am. "You're always sorry, You're always grateful, You're always wondering What might have been...Everything's different, nothing's changed. Only maybe slightly rearranged." -Company
I ran a half marathon last May. The most surprising thing about it was not that I did it while severely ill, but the thoughts that motivated me that day. I kept picturing the face of a friend who is a great athlete saying to me, "You can do this. I KNOW you can." And I believed him. I'm happy that I did it. It felt good to be believed in and encouraged.
I have worked to define and understand my medical conditions. I have acquired and been diagnosed with new and different conditions. In many ways I am grateful and relieved to know a name for what I am dealing with and not just feeling like I am going crazy. I am moving forward one by one and making plans for it to be a better year ahead.
Definitely a big year-- got engaged and moved in together. Life is pretty darn good. There are still ups and downs, but we have each other and our partnership will soon become official.
I had a major physical injury. It was frustrating and terrible and challenging, and in the end - showed me all sorts of thing about myself that I needed to know. Catastrophe seems to be a useful tool in reorienting my path.
I left my partner, escaping verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. This was one of the most difficult experiences of my life, but also one that has taught me so much about my strength, resilience, wisdom, intuition, and support network. I am proud of myself and grateful for all of the support I received, but I remain angry at my ex and anxious about the future. I thought that I had found a partner with whom I could build a family, and it's terrifying to start all over again.
My oldest child was a bar mitzvah in May. It was an amazing experience to see him go from scared at the task before him in September to the confident and even carefree young man who led the service in May. I never doubted that he'd learn all he needed to, but I didn't anticipate the poise with which he'd do it. How did it affect me? Well, I had a great sense of accomplishment from managing a big event, but most of all I felt pride in both his accomplishment but also in my husband and myself for raising such a fine young man.
I spent many months with a man who could drop dead at any moment. He was a mirror to me in many other ways. I learned how difficult I can be. I also learned patience, forgiveness, and how to enjoy every moment, in the moment. I am grateful. I resent none of it. It was frustrating and heartbreaking and sexy and fun and I wouldn't change a single thing. I am inspired to do so many things that I've put off doing because I have feared not being a rockstar at them. I've accepted that enjoyment is more valuable than perfection.
My grandmother passing away was the most significant experience that has happened this past year. It still really hard and it still hasn't hit me yet that she is gone. I'm inspired to raise money for cancer because that is what took her away, and I don't want people to have to go through what my family and i went through. I know that she is watching over me and it makes me feel safe so I am grateful for that.
My brother went back in pot detox. I feel like I'm failing to help him properly.
I had a summer of spending time working in a camp and hanging out with friends. It was simultaneously a way to advance my career interests and also just spend time with kids! It was a blast, and then every evening I had time to sort out life, or head out and adventure around with friends... which sometimes led to new things to sort through. I returned to school a bit nervous about how much I'd forgotten, but I was relaxed and refreshed.
I actually just moved in with my boyfriend, about a month ago. The moving experience itself was stressful because it happened so quickly, but now I am so happy and thankful I get to wake up next to the man I love and come home to him every night.
My mother's youngest brother got into a near fatal car accident in October 2011. It set into motion a chain of events that made me grateful, stressed, empowered, resentful, and melancholy all at the same time. It reconnected me with my Denver relatives, which is not a bad thing. And, ultimately it likely saved James life. But it has taken quite a toll on me, and only just this month (Sept 2012) is it now mostly resolved.
This summer, I was a counselor for 16 year olds at a Jewish summer camp. While the girls were away on our 3-day camping trip, the boys pulled what they thought would be a harmless prank on the girls. The prank was an elaborate set of extremely sexist, misogynist jokes. This experience, along with others, impassioned me to be a force of change in the culture of a place I love and cherish very much. I am now taking classes that are relavent to gender issues, as well as educating myself on the social issues of the 2012 election, something that I have found as being really important to me. The camp experience was shocking and saddening, but it has inspired me to be an activist for what I feel is a critical issue in the lives of my former campers, who will go on to become future Jewish leaders.
I began couples counseling with my wife. Though it has been very difficult, our relationship has improved dramatically. We feel safer with each other and better able to be our authentic selves. And though we may not stay married, I believe we will always love each other, and do our best to co-parent our wonderful children.
I returned to France after 35 years. I loved taking French in high school/college/postcollege. My French teachers created a love of the country, an intimate sense of its history, appreciation for its emotional, reactive people, art, Edith Piaf!....I wondered what on earth I'd been doing all these years instead of acting on my desire to live and study in France? And then we went. And I was stricken once again with francofile love! Now I hope to do an immersion. Next year at this time I should be able to read that I fantasized it and made it reality. Let's see.
I created a second business. Although it was inspired by fear for my mother's and my financial situations and the need to create money for her care; it has changed my relationship with money and my family. I am grateful and inspired by the possibilities, and no longer feel limited by my history.
For the first time in my adult life I moved - not just to a new place, but to a new city, a new state, much further away from what had become my comfort zone than ever before. Sure I had packed up and moved to Israel, but it was temporary. This was my first real time having to start over, to prove myself, build myself and find myself since starting college. It has had a profound impact on me as it has been both challenging and rewarding, heart breaking and invigorating. I wouldn't have it any other way but as I sit here now thinking about this past year I hope that in the year ahead I will appreciate it more and see the positive in what is still yet to be.
Well I don't know if you can call it an experience but the fact that I finally realized that I absolutely hate school and also that majoring in sociology was just a big mistake for me has been something that for the most part still consumes a lot of my day and it's something that I carry a lot of resentment and anger for. To be honest this has not been a very good feeling at all and I've probably been angrier this past year than any other as far as I can remember. The only other time I can remember ever feeling like this was when I was severely depressed in high school and I thought that I would almost never ever be able to get into that state of mind ever again but I guess I was wrong. But for the most part nothing ever really happens in my life that is significant enough to brag about or be proud of. My life as a whole is pretty boring to be honest. I've also been carrying a lot of anger and resentment towards the fact that I was a mistake and am harboring a lot of anger and resentment towards my parents for that.
Cody-gate: It made me feel miserable. I judged myself and became so overly critical. I'm still embarassed to admit that I let that situation happen. I learned that I can never make that same mistake again...I feel like those situations keep pushing me back...from finding something/someone that actually values me for me.
Found out about the death of a dear friend via a tag on facebook. I knew his health was fading and I did not keep in close enough touch -- never quite got around to writing or calling. The day he passed, I had a unique experience which was so quintessentially "Larry" that I am certain he chose to visit during his transition. Though deeply saddened, I was less stunned by finding out that he had passed than by the experience of his visitation. For me, this was truly Spirit in Action. In Spirit, Love and Forgiveness seem to overpower guilt.
I started working again full-time after a long period of not working. Some of the feelings: I was elated with the offer to hire, disappointed with the initial rate, very happy they matched my counter-offer, nervous to start that I would wake up on time and manage myself. Comforted when I found out my old friend Joanne worked there, and have been happy that I've been doing a good job and liking the work.
I met someone who was really openminded and inspired me to believe there are people like him out there; people that I can relate to, that are thinking the way I do in both a practical, philosophical and sexual way. Before that I thought I had to settle for less. This has made me much happier to be on my own, enjoy my own time more, let go of any leftover past hurts.
I finally got to move to London. I've only been here just under two months so far. The school thing isn't my favorite part. I'm enjoying the classes themselves but not the work really. I haven't made any friends yet despite being halfway done with the first term. But I have Kevin...and we are better than ever. And that's enough for me.
There was an unbelievable symmetry to 5772. I started out the year engaged to a man I didn't completely love, living what was seeming more and more like a hollow lie. Just after Yom Kippur last year, I finally took control of my life and ended it with him. No one -- especially not me -- could have predicted what happened next. I took just under three months to celebrate my freedom and really relish in the sense that I'd saved my only life. Then, out of nowhere I met my beshert. I'm heading into 5773 with plans well under way to marry this perfect man that I found, and that found me. Life feels unbelievably magical right now!
Pregnancy, and then the birth of my child, for which I have been grateful every single minute, every second. It made me want more (even though I am 44), but also fearful that I could never again match the perfectly marvelous child I've been blessed with.
My brother passed away. This was the first real death I experienced. Meaning, other people have passed away, but they were either older and/or not close to me. My brother is the first in my immediate (nuclear) family. It made me very sad. But at the same time, I couldn't be too sad. I know life must have been hard for him, so he is now out of his suffering. But I am sorry that I didn't take the time to be with him and talk to him and all that. I am also inspired because he did so much with his life; he didn't let his disabilities stop him; instead he helped others cope with their disabilities, too.
Nothing significant happened to be honest. I'm looking back, scanning through memories and I think if I were to list any one of them as significant, I'd have to milk it into something it isn't.
In 2011 I bought tickets for a Coldplay gig. The last time I went was 2009. In december 2011 I really was at the saddest period of my whole life. But then I met a really good friend. I didn´t have anyone to go with so she said I will go with you! In september 2012 we went to Coldplay. I felt so happy after such a depressing time. I was there, with my friends, listening to the beautiful music, singing as loud as I could. It was the most beautiful day since I can remember. It affected me positively! I have the concert registration on mp3 so every time I´m sad I will turn this on to think of this happy day. And it gave me great friends! I´m so grateful!
While in New York, my brother outed me to my mother. Her reaction was somewhere in the middle of two extremes: she neither wanted to disown me, nor did she embrace my orientation. Several emails between us broke my heart because she hid behind her religion and, while admitting she'd always known, claimed this isn't what God had planned for me. At once I was relieved to have it all out on the table, but I resented her for talking down to me. Our relationship is currently on hold, but now that I don't live a lie, I'm ultimately grateful.
A significant experience that has happened this year. Well there have been two: one was being accepted for Uni at the uni of Newcastle and starting my studies this year! That has been an interesting experience, starting uni and starting my studies seriously. Getting back into that has been hard, but really rewarding. I've discovered that I can actually do it. The other thing is that I went overseas at the start of the year with Lenny. We went for a month all over Europe: London - Paris - Rome - Florence - Venice - The Dolomites - Verona - back to London. It was wonderful and I want to do it again.
My 6 yr old stepson made a Mother's Day card for me in school. I was incredibly grateful... I'd spent 3 years carefully cultivating a relationship with him, making sure not to rush him or force anything, and that card was like a pay off in a very long-term investment.
The guy who woo-ed me for a year married someone else. I tried a real relationship like a grown up and failed miserably. I stepped away from a romance that wasn't enough for me. Three heartbreaks. I can't actually say which is worse. I am grateful that I make better decisions. I think. I am thankful that I am full up on friends.
This year I moved back to Brazil, after being abroad for 10 years. It was the change I was dreading/wanting and here I am, living it. I am grateful for how installed I am, I expected things to be way worse so far, but I am still in the blyss phase, happy to be back, living a new experience and exploring a new type of work. It majorly affected me in many things, it weighed on me so much during the last years. I must say i do miss NY. I miss my friends there, i miss my life there, i miss being surrounded by people who are interesting and interested in the world. However i live by the beach, where i have a relatively healthy lifestyle, in my home country. I guess what I always wanted. I think what has helped the transition is that i didnt go back to SP, and instead, starting afresh in Rio.
The most significant thing was moving into a new house. At first, it was quite difficult making the adjustment. I was so used to our old house of 22 years, that I didn't want to make the switch. It's almost like when you're in an abusive relationship, and you'd rather stay in it, than experience something unknown. However, I now am very comfortable here, and could never see myself going back. I am now quite grateful for the ability to have moved out and away from our bad neighborhood. I still feel somewhat like I'm a guest in my own home, but it's gradually settling in that, yes, this is my home.
I got my first full time job. While I began to resent the long hours (it was summer time!) and the stress of being busy (driving, working, driving) for 10 hours out of my day, I also began to appreciate just what those ten hours earned me. I could buy myself dinner, get the newest video game, and put a few dollars in the bank, too. This also had to be balanced against the gas money I had to save from each paycheck to be spent so that I could GET another paycheck. This sort of responsibility is something I don't think I would have appreciated as much as I do right now.
My degree. I got it. Somehow. I suppose I'm relieved but a month down the track I'm not really feeling it. I know I should be happy but I'm also not feeling that either. Isn't it normal to feel relieved and happy upon handing in your final report? Or being told you've passed and can graduate? I didn't feel anything. Just accepted it and moved on. I guess you could say that the stress associated pushed me to my limits and has made me realise I need to seek help for the mental health issues I've been experiencing. And I suppose I'm grateful that I've completed my degree and have that qualification under my belt. I'm still resentful towards the circumstances that led me to commencing my degree. I think I always will be. But now is the start of a new chapter in my life. I'm hoping I'll be able to take charge of my life in this chapter and find happiness and fulfillment.
I was able to fulfill a dream that would seem minor to most, but which was amazing for me, and which surpassed in reality what I had imagined in the daydreams of mundane moments.
I lost a friend of 20 years, she did not die, we just don't speak anymore. It showed me how to find out who your real freinds are and made me really sad. I'm grateful , relieved and resentful but definately inspired.
When I got the call that Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at 59 years old. That two minute phone call changed my life, at the time I was angry and upset. I still think I'm in that place, still going through all of the firsts of the year, having my Daddy living in an assisted living facility, looking so lost. He's declined quickly since February and its heartbreaking to watch. I have now become the parent and my Dad the child. I don't think I was ready for this, I suppose you never are, but I can only hope I can provide for him in the way he did for me for the first 27 years of my life.
I finally had a sea-change in the way I view my in-laws. I finally stopped taking their behavior personally. This new perspective inspired a song and dance called "I figured it out!" that I now use as a reminder to 'let it go, let others be how they are.' I feel extremely grateful for this insight and for my therapist's role in getting me there. It's helped me to be calmer, less reactive, and is part of a general growth in my self-care and self-respect. I hope it will continue to bear positive fruits in my life.
working out in the gym I sprained my ankle, resulting in 6 weeks out of work. I was thrilled to be out of work for 6 weeks. Each day was a joy. I felt energized, happy and always had plenty to do to make the day feel full and productive. I would so to family and friends, "I am blissful" and really was. I realized just how unhappy I was at work.
I started taking antidepressants. While this isn't totally life-changing and I'm not consistently happy, I do realize that I am overall happier. I didn't want to go on medication, I thought it indicated admitting defeat, but now I know that everyone has issues, and this is mine. I have dysthymia. And that's okay! In fact, I think it's rather normal.
In the past year I started working hard in the company I created with my boyfriend. It's an eco-design studio and it's being very interesting for me this experience, though it's kind of hard not to have a stable job and salary and not knowing how the next year will be.
I actually didnt have some huge experience in 2012. And it was a rellief. After years of upset and turmoil, things have calmed down - both the good and the bad are in patterns.
I lost 3 friends last Spring, all women, all in their 40s; 2 had cancer that they had been struggling with for many years and one was killed by her estranged husband. I was shocked of course, by all of the news, and am deeply saddened by the loss of such courageous, kind, bold, smart, strong women who are not on this earth anymore. However, I am profoundly changed and inspired to cherish all of my loved ones while we are all alive and well! How important it is to tell people you love them and our lives really aren't that long. Cherish EVERY minute of your own life, don't waste any time!
My heart was broken this year and when that happened, it turned me life and my self-image upside down. I realized that I had let him treat me like a pass time, like someone forgettable, like the time that he spent with me was time that he had nothing else to do. He was busy, he was looking towards the future, and he was selfish. I've felt resentful and furious at him... and at myself. This is my burden going forward, to build myself into a woman who demands to be noticed and throws away what makes her feel worthless. I also got a job. Last year, I was fresh out of college, working in a restaurant and really unsure of how to move forward with my life, how to find direction. I found it. After the most intense application process I've ever been through (including college!) I was accepted into Public Allies Delaware and was hired as a Volunteer Coordinator at West End Neighborhood House. I am currently in my fourth week with PADE and my second week at West End. I feel so vital. It is incredible.
2012 was my first year as a single woman in 20 years. My separation began in 2011, but I had a partner at the time and the actual divorce took a year. What I've found so far, is that I LOVE being single. Rather than choosing to be completely alone, I've allowed myself the luxury this year of dating casually, where I've allowed some dear friendships to define themselves creatively. I've learned so much from my "others"!
I was diagnosed with breast cancer this year. The experience was frightening and it did change my outlook on things. I spent Lots of time this year afraid ,but also trying hard to connect to friends and family. Sometimes I felt successful, other times not so much. I found that I could be creative and created these art books that helped me throughout this experience. These books are pieces of art and journal combined that I am proud to now own. Using my creativity to express my feelings helped me through this traumatic experience and helped me also feel like I could do something that was creative and interesting to work through my feelings. I gained a lot of weight back which was very disappointing. OnThe other hand I decided meditation was something I needed to incorporate into my life in order for me to get to a better place. Over the summer I went to Green Gulch and found myself and felt much better.. Taking several retreats I found myself become more comfortable in my skin and heal my heart and soul which was a good thing. Over all, this experience made me stronger.
My husband's disability has brought our family to place, I would have never thought we would be. We've lost our home to foreclosure and thankful are working with the "new owner" who didn't realized the home that they purchased was occupied. so, we are "renting" our house, which is better than most, since we can afford this, right now. I'm fortunate to have found a job and love where I work.
In the last five months, I have gotten well again. My doctor says I'm a miracle! Off meds and on sensible, supplements, I can move again, not only without pain but with pleasure -- breathe, talk, walk, sit, stand, run, swim, etc.! I can go out in the world again -- to movies, concerts, plays, museums, parks, as well as to a meal in the evening with family and friends. Imagine that. I can be me again. To be healthy is both wonderful and amazing.
I started dating online - it has definitely made me question my understanding of people in general and my ability to read them. It has also forced me to deal with rejection on a whole new level - something that I wasnt really all that good at - and am still trying to be better at.
I went to Israel! Finally, I went to Israel. And it was magnificent. I had always assumed I'd love it there or at least love the people. Based on my meeting them here in America and being told sort of what they (secular Israelis) were all about. And I am relieved that it exceeded my expectations. The feeling that every Jew is part of the Mischpocka was so prevalent and felt so right to me. The looseness with which they accepted and embraced the necessity of Holocaust jokes just to not cry about it. THOSE are my Jews. They get it. They got me. So....it triggered another (and I had already had a pretty big 8 month moment of ambivalence last year) moment of ambivalence in which I questioned deeply the meaning I'd placed on my career and wondered if there are things above that and if so if I have to serve them? Thus, I really want/wanted/want to serve in the IDF. I would love to make Aliyah. But my career path is incongruous with such a decision. So for now I've put that thought aside but I can't help feeling that perhaps, I, like so many of my fellow Americans am just refusing to follow my deeper heart.
I got the sort of job I've been looking to get for some time as a business development guy in the biotech business. I felt it was a big improvement on the meager income I was earning as a sales consultant. I am extremely grateful for this opportunity, which offers me the chance to get out of debt, save for retirement and probably save my marriage as well. I'm very motivated to do a good job and stick around until it's time to retire, which won't be all that far away.
My Zaydeh died this year in August while I was away at overnight camp. I now know to treasure every moment you have with someone. One person can impact you and continue to impact your life forever. I feel so grateful to have had such an amazing Zaydeh. Visiting his grave was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I created a heart with stones on the place where he was buried until it will get a headstone a year from now. I love my Zaydeh and miss him very much every day. I do not understand why God takes away good people. Rich Braitman died this year too. He was a healthy man with no visible health issues. He has a beautiful family and loved life. He lived every day to the fullest, took risks, and inspired those around him. I believe now that every thing happens for a reason. I turned 18 this year, changed, and matured in to the person I am today. I am still learning new things about myself and the life around me.
I lost a lot of my passion. I lost an election for a position I desperately wanted and I got bullied out of a program I really loved. It affected me profoundly. I felt completely broken and I'm still taking baby steps to regain my confidence.
Many little things that were intertwined. But most centered around my wife emerging from her postpartum depression. I am relieved, happy, grateful, and somewhat resentful. The way she acted both by herself and toward me made me feel unvalued, unimportant, insufficient, and many more "uns" and "ins". Thank G-d she is back so we can reconnect and get on with our lives...or rather, life.
My Grandmother died. She had been fighting cancer for as long as I had been alive, and she lost the battle on the first night of Chanukah. It made me start thinking about death and about how much I want to do. I know that I just have to enjoy my life and not regret anything. Not everything went her way, but she made the best of every day. That is how I will remember her. This was the first major loss I have ever experienced that really affected my life.
I think the most significant experience in this year was this week on Monday the 24th of September 2012. This was the day when I got my permission to study medicine. I thought that I would be so calm, but I was more crazy and confused. Now I have a new flat and hope she will become better :/ but I am very proud that I get my permission.
A puppy adopted us. We were not ready to bring another four-legged into our lives, but she was ready for us. Nearly a year before, we had to say goodbye to our beloved youngest animal who had grown to be quite a magnificent elder and had lived a good 10 years beyond what the vet predicted when we brought him in for his first check-up. “Two weeks to two years.” The doctor said to us when he heard the murmur in the heart of our eight-week-old puppy. “It will never be long enough.” I replied. When he did go, nearly 12 years later, the first words out of my mouth were, “It wasn’t long enough.” After saying goodbye to all three of our beloved four-leggeds in the span of three years, I knew I would have to learn the ropes of this new way of life. I wanted time to recalibrate, adjust, design a more human-centered life. I paused because with each subsequent loss, I’d lose the ones I lost before again and again and again. Each reconfiguration of our family created a new way of life. I know our culture is uncomfortable with grief. I however am more uncomfortable not experiencing my emotions. I find emotions much wiser than our culture gives them credit for. With a little attention, they express themselves exquisitely and wisely. I wanted to use this time to find a new relationship with myself and my life and myself to my life. When I let myself open to taking in this puppy needing a home, I knew I was bringing in something that I wasn’t ready for emotionally and logistically. I had projects that knew would have to be postponed and even though I would shortly find out how much I forgot about raising puppies, I knew they required time and the more time I gave her in the beginning, the better off we’d all be. When she came home, I promised her I was going to fall in love with her as quickly as I could because I didn’t want to regret it later. I learned my heart could be open even when my mind wanted to say shut. I am grateful, relieved, resentful, and inspired. I learned my heart is my wisest and most loving mind and in listening to it, I not only opened to a puppy in my life, it brought me to make more heart-centered choices in the whole of my life. I realize that this year, in making a home for a puppy, I made a home for my heart
OCCUPY has happened to me and to the world. Listening to those who have not had a voice is so moving I cannot tell you. I only wish everyone would realize that this movement is for them too, and that their expertise and values are needed there. I am inspired. For all of you who watch and give advice to Occupy, but hang back: Come on down! Camping is not required! Check the website and get involved: http://occupysf.org/
I didn't do well enough in one of exams. I know in a year this will seem trivial, but at the moment I feel like it's going to hinder my future plans. I still feel frustrated at the fact I tried so hard, but barely succeeded.
I took a risk and went to NYC for 2 weeks. I didn't ignore that voice that told me I needed to go and it changed me. I picked up a that piece of my heart that I left there 7 years ago. I'm hoping that my path will lead me back there in 2013. Totally inspired, electrified and renewed with a purpose.
I started a new job just after the 10Q survey last year. So far, it’s been everything I wanted. Right now, I feel as though I’m treated fairly and with compassion, compensated well and part of an organization and team that sees all of the good things I see in myself. It’s a world away from my last position and I’m so grateful to have work that is mostly fulfilling. I feel like I could be at this company for a long, long time.
My first grandchild was born this past December. It's a joy to witness his development up close, especially his belly laughs and delighted smiles. Given the chance, humans seem to be loving by nature.
I quit my job. I was relieved because I felt bad and stressed everyday, but it has been a challenge to adjust. 3+ months later, I finally will soon start a job that sounds promising. I have an apartment lined up, but I still feel helpless and in limbo. I just want the waiting to end. I feel like me and Jason are growing together and getting closer. I really love this guy.
A long term friendship of mine began unravelling this year. It had a lot to do with opposing social-political-religious viewpoints. In the end, the person who had been a friend was unable to debate any of these topics without flinging personal insults at me. I had to cut the relationship off. In some ways it was freeing, yet still painful due to the disillusionment of who I thought this person was in my life, and what ultimately transpired. I have yet to find someone else that will fill the void that this person has left now that they are no longer an active participant in my life, so the pain of loss is very real. I need to recognize that this relationship was abusive and stop blaming myself.
I got a stress injury in my hip - definitely made me feel grateful to be healthy! Also made me realize how fortunate I am and how lucky I am to be able to exercise.
We got married. It was the best decision. There were a few things that happened shortly before that tried to derail me from the decision to go ahead with it, but I'm so lucky that even in moments of doubt induced by others, I was able to quiet my surroundings enough to listen to my true voice speaking to me, telling me that my true path is to do it anyway. The result has been sheer happiness, sheer love and acceptance, a feeling of true contentedness -- so much so that others comment all the time on the very positive difference they see in both of us. So yes, I'm grateful, relieved, and looking forward to all that is to come for us.
My divorce was finalized a month ago after 2 1/2 years of unpleasant emails and an expensive legal battle. I am relieved and feel free to start a new life. By that I do not mean with a new partner, but that I am free to move on; where I live, where I pray, where I socialize, where I study and where I work. I was stuck putting all of my energy into fighting to protect my children's safety and had nothing left over for anything in my life other than home and work. I can now plan for myself and my 2 children and how I want our life to be.
I went to Cancun on a trip. I was humbled by the beauty of the world. Inspired by the smile on my fiancee face after snorkeling. Proud of myself for winning the trip and losing weight.
I presented my first solo paper at a professional conference in my field. While I was extremely proud and felt I deserved it, I couldn't really enjoy it and kept thinking about the publication that I want to write based upon the data. I feel mostly inspired and motivated to continue this work, but I feel I need to celebrate the small victories more.
in the past year many things have changed... I would say breaking my ankle was a big one. It made me dependent, which is something i don't do. I was grateful for my real friends who spent time with me,.helped me. I was grateful for my family who supported me and thought i was crazy when i wanted to go back to the sorry that caused it... It was a good and horrible experience, but I'm totally stronger for it.
I received treatment for depression. Learned that I have been managing dysthymia and generalized anxiety disorder. I accepted psychiatric treatment. It's a long road ahead but I feel relieved and confident.
I finally got the job I thought I wanted...and it wasn't all that I had dreamed of because I dont have the balance or happiness outside of the office that I need. I am inspired to change.
In mid-March, days before my husband and I were supposed to go away for a vacation, my Dad, who is 77, announced that he had a rare form of cancer. This is the second time he's battled this horrible disease. In an incredible turn of fortune, though, the doctors told him that the cancer was both operable AND curable. I was really edgy at first, though because we'd planned this trip MONTHS before and I thought we might have to cancel it. I was very selfishly very unhappy about that. Fortunately that didn't happen. Instead, in early April he had MAJOR surgery to remove the tumor. It took a lot out of him and was a very scary event for me, my sister and my Mom. To ensure that the cancer did not come back, the doctors recommended a six-month course of chemotherapy, which, Thank God, as of this writing, my Dad is almost finished with. The recovery and chemo was proving to be very taxing for my Mom and she asked me to come look after Dad and "spell" her a bit. I was resentful at first, because my sister lives much closer to my parents and I believed it would be much easier for her to do it. I felt like my Mom didn't care that I'd be leaving my husband all alone, far away. The fact that we have no kids meant we could completely up-end our lives. Thanks bunches, Mom. My husband, who lost his father when he was 12, sat me down and made me understand that I needed to do this for my folks and myself -- that spending time with them at this point in their lives is very important, because there's no telling how much time I have left with them. So I went to NYC several times. It brought me closer to my entire family and made me stronger and made me realize all over again just how much my husband loves me. In turn I fell in love with him all over again. In retrospect, I think it was one of the best things I've ever done for my emotional health. I am deeply, deeply grateful for the chance to have had this special time with my folks and I hope I can remember that right away next time so as to avoid the selfish feelings of resentment.
We moved the church from Padonia to the Lutherville Music School. I feel that it was a fantastic move -- some didn't and no longer come -- however, I'm focusing on those that want to be there! I got to meet the President!
I am still kind of shocked to realize that I became a parent this year! At Rosh HaShanah 2011 I knew my partner had children, obviously, and was learning a lot about them through pictures and stories she told me but I had only barely met them (if I'd met them at all). Over the course of the past year the two boys--ages 6 and 9 at that time, now 7 and 10--and I were introduced to one another and began to spend time together, with them sleeping over at our house on the weekend during the school year. In the summer I became one of their actual parents, doing kid laundry and driving carpool and cooking dinner for two at-times *very* fussy eaters :) There were times it was really frustrating, because I felt like I didn't know what to do or like I was doing a bad job. I often didn't know how to balance everything that needed to be done, and I definitely still struggle with how to take good care of myself in the midst of having a partner and kids and a full time job and two part time jobs and a house to manage. In the midst of all of this, my partner and I have decided that -- unlike we thought we would do initially -- we will not have any more children. When we first got together I shared with her how having a child of my own was something I was not willing to compromise on, and after she considered it she decided it was something she wanted and would be able to do too. We talked about it a lot at first and were very excited about it...or, I was anyway, and she definitely seemed to be. Over time we spoke about it less and less and finally, not long ago, it became clear that she really does not feel it is possible financially or emotionally if we want to keep our own relationship healthy and strong. That was very hard to hear, because I realized I had been waiting for the chance to become a parent of my own child, with her, far more than I had realized. It was difficult to let go of the identity as a mom that I'd hoped one day I would have the opportunity to experience. First there was the need to come to terms with never being pregnant and never having my partner care for me and our child during that tender and powerful time. Then there was the need to accept that I will never raise a child exclusively with my partner, a child that is just hers and mine. I hadn't been aware of how much I was looking forward to that experience, and how much it felt like that would legitimize me as a parent and a member of our family. Last of all was the need to release the hope that I, together with my partner, would raise a child from the beginning of their life (or near to the beginning, in the case of adoption, to which I had always been open also). These realizations came at the same time as the beginning of the new school year, a time when I was starting to work at a different school, and a time when we were all trying to transition from summer into fall. So, it felt extremely challenging and was the source of a lot of sorrow and grief for me for a time. I have never disagreed with Huong's thoughts on this matter, and actually am very grateful that she has been so honest with me about it...but that doesn't change the challenge it has been for me to understand and come to terms with our shared choice. All in all, the shift from single professional to partnered parent AND professional has been the hallmark experience of my year. Even when it feels hard or frustrating or tiring, I am still extremely grateful for all of it because I truly never thought I would have the chance to live the life I have now. I am so thankful, for all of it :)
Language is something that I didn't value enough until I was put in a situation where I couldn't use it. When I moved in with my host family I was annoyed that they didn't speak English and I was frustrated that I wouldn't be able to build as strong of a relationship as I could if we could communicate. In the end I was grateful because I would not have learned Spanish and been as acclimated to their culture if I hadn't needed to completely change the way I observe and communicate. I am a little sad that I didn't really stay in contact with them but being in such an uncomfortable situation showed me that I can always make it more comfortable, I just have to give it a chance.
I was a volunteer performer in the London 2012 Olympics Opening and Closing Ceremonies. I was a drummer and athlete marshall. It took over my life from 23 May until 22 August. I took 14.5 holidays from work in order to attend every single rehearsal. There were about 30 rehearsals and show days (I forget exactly how many because the original schedule changed as we went along) - about 150 hours of rehearsals in total. A lot of standing around waiting, but also probably the best times of my life. I'm incredibly grateful to have had the opportunity to take part, to have had the understanding from my boss at work to allow me the flexibility to take days off as and when required, sometimes at short notice. I went seven straight weeks without a 5-day working week! It was deeply inspiring working with the mass movement team, including Steve Boyd, who has been involved in every Olympics since Barcelona 1992 - including Winter Olympics. He is simply the best at what he does in the world. Right from the very first audition, I was imbued with the Olympic spirit - and this was back in November 2011! I knew from the first audition that it was going to be special, that London would make us proud. And I was so, so proud. Pride came bursting out of my face for days afterwards. I was an emotional wreck. I cried tears of joy, exhaustion, pride, inspiration, admiration. It wasn't necessarily a national pride, although I'm glad we showed a side of Britain that I can identify with and be proud of. It was a pride in humanity, of people coming together and creating something memorable, moving, scary, awesome (in the God-fearing sense of the word); something so deeply, utterly human. There was no one single moment, but an ongoing, semi-secret cascade of moments of joy and wonder and utter delight - as well as the odd bit of boredom and frustration. I could go on and on about this...
I met the most wonderful people. John and Lisa. Tehy've become part of my family, supporting me and loving me, even though we're from diffirent cultures, different countries... even different continents. I'm so grateful I met them!
Grandma died on my birthday. It was the worst day of my life. Until my love wanted to not be in a relationship anymore. Im neither grateful, relieved, restful or inspired. Im depressed, sad, broken and lost. I am 25.
I have had no experience in the past year that I would consider significant. I will, however, consider this question for the remainder of Rosh Hashanah. At 62 there aren't many things that I consider significant. Maybe that is my experience for the year. I now have a greater tolerance for those things that I would have considered significant in my youth. Grateful? Yes, it leaves me more time to ponder and enjoy the simpler aspects of life.
Last November I lived with my sister while we moved our mother into an assisted living facility. It was painful. By the end of the two weeks, I was so angry at her inablilty to function outside of her beliefs and routine that I could hardly talk to her. I still feel very alone.
I started my first serious relationship. It has been the most transformative, evolutionary, and significant experiences of my life. I am so grateful for all that I've shared with my beloved, hard times and good. We bring out the best in each other (and on the other hand can trigger each other/push buttons), and inspire and encourage each other to live to our fullest potential. It has certainly affected every other area of my life! Everything moving towards the light, in a positive direction. No other experience has been as powerful a teacher as this... Love is the most potent drug (: Being in love is like bathing in the most beautiful, radiant, light -- it is a kind of Philosopher's Stone.
OWS happened in the last year. I learned more about people, governance, leadership, moments of people power, than I ever expected to. I learned that I can be connected to thousands of people, personally, at home, internationally. I redefined the meaning of stranger. I felt how it was to be a part of something bigger than me, something coordinated in its goals, in its honesty, in its vitality.
I have been inspired by the birth of my daughter. Everything I do from now on is with her best interest in mind, and it is the msot incredible feeling to love any being this much. I feel like a whole new world of knowledge I would have never tapped into before has opened up before me. I am excited about the year to come, and hope to only grow in my naturalness, and other healthful ways.
Less than a month ago I got hired at a craft store. It is my first job. Seeing as I'm 19 years old and without a liscense, I felt completely obligated to get a job. Now that I have one I feel better about myself but, at the same time, I feel more trapped than ever, and I'm also afraid of being stuck in a rut. As badly timed as it is, this job has made me realize just how much I need to start doing things for my "career", whatever that may be, and that I really cannot live without the thought of having a creative outlook on life and within my future. So I guess now I've finally learned what I need to do with my life. I feel an extreme amount of pressure--like I need to do this or die. As melodramatic as that is...everyone knows its true.
I manifested a baby I had secretly wished for. The experience made me realise how powerful I am.
My family and I finally came back home after five years living overseas,only to find that in our absence, our house had been hijacked by a dodgy real estate agent and even dodgier lawyers who fraudulently sequestrated my husband and I. Instead of our homecoming being the happy wonderful event that we have been dreaming about,since we landed it has been about court cases,lawyers,money or lack thereof. This event had the potential to make us bitter resentful,wary and extremely distrustful but it has only succeeded in drawing my husband and I closer to each other,our relationship and fellowship with God has deepened and our relationship and friendship with our children has gone from strength to strength. It hasn't been easy but at least we now know that we are pretty strong and we are now our own inspiration.
I went from extreme pain and not being able to walk to having had my hip replaced. I have such gratitude for the skill and technology that can make such a significant difference in one's life
I broke up with Jasper end of '11, and am still processing it now--it's taken up a lot of my mindspace. In a way it's about learning to draw boundaries, and it's also about learning about my shortcomings and abilities to jump into conclusions!
My uncle Joe died. He had a bad case of cancer, as he had been fighting it off for over 10 years. He finally reached the point where he couldn't fight it anymore and he passed. Though I still miss him and wish he was still around, I am glad that he is finally no longer in pain. He lived his life the way he wanted to and made his choices, right up to the very end.
I am very close with my wife, brother and sisters and beloved children. My relationship with my 10 grand chidren is superb...loving and intimate. I am in synch with my 8 year old grand son Ajani to an extent that has had no parallel during my lifetime. We hang out. We share moments of silence. We read each others moods like an old married couple. We are pals. I feel guilty because my daughters, parents of equally magnificent limbs on our tree observe the uniqueness of my relationship with Ajani. They seem to be OK with it. I have concerns that we have become too close. On ocassion when the family discusses my age and health (71 and pretty good) my grandson has broken down into quiet sobs. He fears my death. I am a humanist and am incapable of calming him with an"eternal life" fairy tale.
After 2 years of a difficult life transition of bringing closure to my marriage, I bought my unique dream house all on my own. I got through the complex closing issues all on my own which was an accomplishment. I used my own financial resources and feel independant and free. The house symbolizes the light at the end of my very long tunnel, where I can be me and surround myself by people I love and love me back, including my children. The house represents new beginnings with the history that I have helped create.
My hip replacement...I am so grateful for the wisdom and technology that exists in the medical world, and particularly grateful that I can afford it. I am relieved that my pain is gone, and that I can walk in my old stride.
Of course, the most significant thing was the addition of our 3rd son to our family, although that happened just over a year ago. Getting through the newborn stage (and actually enjoying lots of it this time around) was a huge part of the past year. Adding another child to our family has made me even more grateful for God's blessings (healthy and happy children chief among them). But of course, it's been exhausting, too.
This year I had an opportunity to produce a documentary about Holocaust rescuers in Poland. The project began receiving good publicity but was cancelled, not by my decision, by the survivor who I was working with. While I wanted to continue the project without him, but he sabotaged it. I found out that he is unethical and very difficult to work with. Initially, I was affected by being upset. The more I thought about it and received support from caring friends and family, I concluded that it was a blessing in disguise. Had the same occurrence happened further into the project, it would have been a much bigger issue to remedy. I am, thus, grateful it happened. I learned many valuable lessons from the experience and will take those lessons learned to benefit myself and others in the future.
I had several experiences of feeling some deeper abiding presence inside, and opened to more spirit that had been exiled. feel calmer, more connected, more confident
I said yes to marry my love. I have always been on the fence about marriage, but my instinct said, yes! I am enjoying engagement and want to be the best person I can be for this amazing human being who wants to be my husband.
My husband and I started marriage counseling. I discovered his affair right before Rosh Hashanah 2011. It has been a sad year for me. I am looking forward to 2012/2013 to be happier and more fulfilling. I am grateful that we are working on our marriage but sad that after 25 years we are facing this obstacle. It's been a hard year. I hope the next one is better.
Mr. Bo Jangles died on "Father's Day". It broke my heart and yet it seemed appropriate that this little dog would die on that day. My father passed Sept. 10 2000. I felt detached from the rest of the world, my world had changed and not for the better. I felt as though I were a witness to everyone else's life and not a part of anything. I guess I was stoic. Mr. Bo Jangles walked into my life, a lost and frogotten, perhaps even a throw away dog and he warmed my soul again. My blond, one eyed brown and one eyed blue dog, melted the iceberg that had encased my heart. I truly believe Dad sent him to me. Mr. Bo Jangles took all of my tears, I was living again. I expect to see him with my father once I am called home.
I learned how much I have grown up and matured by noticing the way I express my feelings when I am angry or hurt. My communication is much more effective than it used to be- I no longer blame or avoid I explain and express. I learned that I can shut myself off. I can turn my emotions off and shut them down. What I didn't expect is how hard it can be to turn them on again... Do I feel what I once felt? Fleetingly, for a moment but shutting down causes a loss of intensity....
May sound corny, but I found love again at 54. I have been in two relationships that are like marriages (but I'm a Lesbian)and few other long-term relationships is enough for one lifetime. She's been persistent! The awesome thing is, I have had the chance to know who I am and what my boundaries are. Also what I like and dislike, and what I want. I am grateful. I am also re-learning trust...phew!
I went to London and then Paris. It was amazing. Rose-colored glasses or not, I felt alive there. The world was my oyster.
I know other things have happened in the past year, and probably more important things, but I keep thinking of NewCAJE, and how wonderful it is to have such a group of inspiring friends and colleagues... I think it's that it is nice to know I'm not alone in being a Jewish geek, musician, clergy-ish, teacher...
I was arrested for shoplifting this year. I had my 4-year old son with me. I have been so ashamed and enraged at myself. I could have been caught many times, with much more than I was. I was in school, trying to break into the medical field and I'm afraid of the impact that having an arrest record will have on my future. I'm afraid that my son will remember it. It has made me work on how angry I am that I've been struggling financially all of my life. It has made me realize that I've been in a spiral of self-flagellation, self-loathing and despair. Being aware of it and feeling serious repercussions to my actions have helped me to break some terrible patterns but I'm worried that it won't be enough. Sometimes I'm still so angry at the world that I want to lash out at it. But everyday I make sure that I stop to be grateful for something, to remember that many of my problems are of my own making and that I hold the keys to their solutions as much as I held the keys to their creation. It helps.
This year, I got engaged. I am so excited and thrilled by this commitment and the possibilities it holds. It is fantastic to shift from speculating about a possible future to actually planning one together. It's shifted my relationship with his family in an incredible way, to the extent that they really feel like my family too. On the downside, all the emphasis on our wedding and planning it has made me more self-involved this year, which I really don't like.
My knee! I suffered with it from the fall to the following summer. First the pain, then the surgery and the pain from that, then the lasting pain, affecting me dramatically until my trip to Utah, where the hiking and exercise seems to have put it into a much less toxic place. And the result of the pain for all those months was much less movement and exercise and much weight gain, probably about 10 pounds, which I am now in the process of getting rid of. I am relieved that it is over, but it was quite depressing being semi-incapacitated for such a long time. As with so many "bad" things that have happened to me in my life, I feel that this year has made me more empathetic to others who have experienced hard times.
I spent five months helping to balance a negative budget for a failing business, and the work I did went unappreciated. I was and am still resentful despite being laid off from the job nearly four months ago. I learned that it is important to me to be appreciated for my work, and that my next job must have that. I don't need to be complimented every step of the way; I just need to be acknowledged for the time and energy I gave to my responsibilities. This experience also reinforced the importance of the people with whom I work and their attitudes and outlooks on life. If I don't click with them, I will be stressful, unhappy, resentful, and angry, and that is not who I am nor who I want to be.
I made more of an effort to live life as if I were a child...the discovery of trying something new that most people perhaps may take for granted. I took my brother around the city I now live in Attended a rock concert. for the first time Told my Mom about the guy I fancied Fancied a real attainable guy and not a character in a book or a television show Had a sangria Got invited to join a family dinner Invested in a property in my original home country Planned a trip
This past winter, I saw real loss in someone else's eyes for the first time. I wasn't close friends with this person, and was therefore surprised and confused for months about why this affected me so deeply. I think in the past few weeks, I've figured out the "why" a little bit better, and either way, I feel like this experience has certainly changed me as person. This also helped me figure out a little better (and certainly think about more!) what role the community or the people "on the auxiliary" should play in someone's time of need.
Went to Hawaii with my wife, which was relaxing. It seems kind of trite, but it's taken me about 34 years to finally feel a little safe and secure in my life. I feel good about who I am and who I am with, and worries are small and manageable. This was a small adventure, and I want more.
I worked at a law firm this summer. It was the first time that I've really felt pressure to work hard. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do so, and I believe that I did. This was a relief. Of course, it will get much, much harder as time goes on, so I have to figure out if that's something I want. My hard work led to an offer, which, in effect, liberated me to seek employment at other firms. I now have a job at a top-2 bankruptcy firm. That's a pretty big jump.
I went on March of the Living, and it was the most meaningful and life changing experience. It's hard to describe everything, but I went with the most inspiring survivor, Trudy. I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to experience it all, and really stand up for the Jewish people. From now on I'll definitely fight harder and be Jewish with more pride.
My best friend from college with whom I was no longer on speaking terms killed himself. I'm not over it, and I don't know if I ever will be. I always thought we would patch things up when we were older, "we'll be friends again when we're 30." That won't happen now, and it has forced me to look carefully at all of my relationships.
I was finally promoted. I am grateful though I felt it was overdue. That said the level of responsibility has definitely increased so perhaps things really do happen in their own time.
2 1/2 yrs ago, I fell deeply in love with an old friend. the forever kind. ...This year, trust deepened. i realize i've never trusted anyone, ever. What a gift. I trust him. First time. Chest and diaphragm flapping wide open. no net. Feels scary. Wonderful. Wonder-filled. ...and when i look to my left, I see him standing there. waiting. wow
I celebrated my 70th birthday, in all sorts of ways. I am grateful...it has made a big difference to me that I was able to ask for support and love, fundraising in my honor etc. I felt loved and honored, and I am hopeful the experiences will ground me and hold me for this next phase of my life. The things that we created make me realize that I can "call" or create community when I want to. That is a huge blessing, inspires me and is a relief since I'm not sure I"ll have another solid community moving forward.
Moved houses - mixed some good some bad. Lots of teething problems. It's good to have a home again
I graduated with my Master's in Social Work. I sobbed the day my diploma arrived. I discovered that my anxiety is worse than I thought, but that I am stronger than I thought, too. On the whole, I am often tired, often anxious, and often feeling adrift. But life is beautiful and love is good, and so it will continue to be.
I had an honest conversation with a friend about happiness. It sounds so simple, but something about the conversation completely changed my outlook on my own behavior. I would never have expected to have this conversation ever, let alone with this particular person. Something about it totally inspired me to be a happier and more open person.
the birth of my identical twin boys, max and harry - i'm grateful, relieved, inspired, overwhelmed, amazed, in awe, terrified, excited, exhausted, overcome, delighted, nervous, anxious, delirious, and so filled with love. often all at the same time.
Shelly and I finally finished whatever was left of our relationship. I held on for some time, probably longer than I should have. It was hard to let go once I flipped the switch in realizing how wonderful she was and what I had. It was too late for her when I had done so and the relationship would never recover. It is what it is and we are both likely better off. I was depressed and did what I could to keep my head up; thankfully, James came back home from California and got me into the gym. With the additional daily stimulation, I was able to trudge through it. Little by little, I would have bright spots in the relationship area of my life. Before you knew it, I was dating Frances. Frances has certainly been a welcome change in my life. The relationship is very easy. It is early yet, but I could see a strong possibility of marrying her. I have run the gambit of emotions from this change in my life...wouldn't be surprised if I'm still processing it.
Found a Sangha. Loving being in a community that is committed to living with love and purpose.
I stopped holding on to people & things that weren't good for me & started to learn to appreciate those who already love me unconditionally. I don't have to strive to get someones approval, affection, or attention. Those who already care for me love me all the way around. I stopped trying to bend of backwards for people & noted. I sucked out the poison.
Relatives with serious illnesses. Concerned, sad, fearful, compassionate.
I finished a year of service with AmeriCorps! It feels like a tremendous accomplishment...mostly because of how challenging it was for me. I feel very proud to have given back to my country, and become a stronger, braver, smarter, more compassionate version of my self throughout the process.
It's funny that every time I think of a significant event, I think of times I spent with Joe.. But I guess, starting at uni has been a pretty big deal! I've only just started and looking forward to getting stuck into my work. I'm grateful to be here, and definitely inspired to work hard. So we'll see how it goes!
After trying and trying to get pregnant, I did! Now we have the most amazing, joyful, silly, expressive, beautiful little girl. It started with a huge surprise when she arrived so early, but after the first month of being in shock, it has just been total happiness and awe. Everything is different, more wonderful, more exhausting, more important.
The last time I answered this question I talked about how my uncle had had a heart attack and was recovering in the hospital. Less than a month later, however, he couldn't struggle anymore and passed away. It affected me in so many ways I don't even know where to start. I loved him so, so much, still do, and it's been almost one year but the pain just never goes away.
I was in a car accident. It's made me trust my surroundings less and dislike the city I live in. I also no longer drive, which I used to love. I am grateful because the damage to myself is minimal in comparison to the car, it's inspired me to move forward with my life and move away.
I had a deep conversation with a new friend. And yet, despite how little time we've known each other, I immediately entrusted them with my thoughts and the conversation flowed naturally yet touched on nearly every one of the core topics I spend time thinking about. I feel elated 1) to have a new friend and 2) to be able to express my views in detail yet as part of a conversation with more than just myself, in turn benefiting from their contributions.
2x failed IVF attempts. Crushing. The medical diagnosis of infertility, the painful and grueling process of IVF, and the emotional roller coaster of embryo transfer, imagining we we are pregnant, and then the disappointment and shock when I get my period all did a number on me. I am resentful, frightened, and alternately panicing and then numb regarding having children.
Mi Voz happened. I can't beleive how much has happened since Mi Voz, seems like ages ago. I am so grateful for Mi Voz, how much work it was, how much my faith grew. I was inspired, and still am when I think of it.
I decided to join a startup company. I took the plunge and joined a company that is smaller than the department I used to be part of. It has been one heck of a learning experience so far, and I have found just how sheltered I had been in the work environment. I am really happy that I have taken on this challenge, and while the travel and the hours are rough, it is turning out to be a great ride! I am so happy that I had the confidence to do it!
I got into a stage management training program. It's the happiest I have ever been since I came out to work because I finally found something I was meant to do. Now my days are not filled with dread even thought here are days where I still feel pretty low, I am still grateful for the chance.
Josh and I broke up, which in retrospect may not stand out as significant because we were always on and off throughout the course of this past year - but this experience has been transformational. At first I felt shock and sadness. Resentment and pain. But shortly after, something big shifted inside of me - and I saw everything differently. It was like someone changed my lenses and life could no longer be viewed negatively in any way. The tears and feelings of regret and resentment subsided - and I felt relief. Like I could finally focus on me and give myself the attention I so deeply deserved and had been lacking the past year. I stopped looking back and began looking forward. It's only been a month, but I haven't felt this positive and genuinely happy in years. And the best feeling was knowing I got here all by myself, for myself.
Nothing really significant has really occurred in my life in the past year. This year my life has been pretty mellow. its a g-d send and kind of a bummer at the same time. I think I am happy for finding more peace. Even a year ago I don't think I could be so "mellow".
I realized that I am transgendered. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. I feel so much more comfortable with myself now.
I finally understood my mother. Over this last summer, we spent a lot of time together, and I was able to release the past. I am utterly grateful for the time we spent together trying to understand one another and achieving closure on so many levels. I am relieved to not be carrying around that kind of resentment anymore. Sometimes I still feel the difficulty when the same problems show up in our present relationship, but I am learning how to accept, be patient and compassionate with the things I cannot change about her.
The significant experience is that I began to treat my mental health problems and realized just how unhappy I was and how much anxiety and depression I was trying to overcome. I am grateful for the kinds of medicine they have now. I am grateful that I am now able to be a better mom.
I went to England to play with my team in Rugby tournament this Summer (2012). And, I played well enough to to get the game ball, Man of the Match and be voted an MVP. I felt satisfied.
i finally got some traveling done. been meaning to go to Istanbul for a long time and it finally happened. oddly, more than the history and the culture, it was the personal connections that impressed me the most. i'm resolving that i need to travel abroad every year. it's so life affirming.
I have started graduate school, and it has been really difficult emotionally. I don't think that the work has been so difficult. It has just been so much of it. Patrick also has an opposite schedule which is really hard. I didn't think that I would miss him so much. I work on weekends so I never have days off. I'm getting burnt out and feel like I'm always playing catch up on everything in my life. The wedding plans have been put on hold and I haven't seen my family in months. It should all be worth it, though, because by this time next year I should be teaching. Oh and married!