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Q07

Is there a part of yourself that you want to work on in 2010?

Oh yes, being more friendly, panic less (or not at all), figure out how to communicate with my family...

I would like to stop assuming I'm right, stop assuming there is a right way to do everything, stop judging other people or looking down on them for the way they do things, stop trying to correct people all the time (especially those I'm closest to).

I need to be more honest with myself and those around me. I can't keep stringing women along in casual relationships because it 's convenient for me.

I think I've gotten maybe too comfortable with my husband since we started living together. I'd like to fix myself up more. Get some nice new clothes. Spend more time on my hair and makeup in the mornings. I want him to tell me I'm hot every day, and not just the days when I get dressed up to go out.

mah abs.

Annie Sieg, New York

I think it's silly I still have jealousy and social competition issues at 24. I think too much about being popular (it's embarrassing to even write that) or being seen by people I deem important and being friends with people just because of their social status. There's no reason for all that and it's a waste of energy.

Making sure I'm prioritizing my family without feeling guilty about work and being able to work without feeling guilty about not being with my family. I don't want to be one of those moms that didn't show up when it was important, or even when it wasn't. I also want to continue focusing on getting regular exercise. And having fun with my partner - it's good to remember why you're together in the first place before life got in the way.

I want to have more self-discipline and feel more in control of how I spend my time. I want to read rather than watch TV, exercise rather than eat, cook instead of snack.

Discipline, especially with regard to eating and time management. to make very specific plans and stick to them.

I would like to decrease my time spent on the internet to the exclusion of personal contact. I'd like to work on my s-anon recovery in a way that is real; real personal contacts, honesty and insight about myself, a focus off problems that are out of my control, a thankfulness for what I have. I want to love more deeply.

I'd like to be able to not get so angry. I'm usually a really laid back person, but I'm also like a pit bull - they don't show you they're angry until it builds up and they bite. I don't growl or snarl or anything... everything builds up and then I snap on people. I want to be able to let people know that things are bothering me. I want to be able to reach out to people when I'm upset. I want to be more of a 'good person,' though that might mean leaving customer service since that stresses me out so much and people are always trying to con you out of something (well, at my job anyways). I want to work a little bit more on knitting/artistic stuff as well. I don't want to have my works published and then just knit things that I think will 'sell' or will be 'popular.' I need to remember to knit things that I like, to do art in my way, to not worry about what other people think.

Nicki M Chicago

My body: I got a very bad backache from an old neglected trauma. I need more swimming.

Stefano Monaco, Milano

I need to work harder. I work hard, but not hard enough, and not with enough sacrifice on my own behalf. Sometimes work isn't fun, but I have tried too hard to avoid those things. It's time to plunge into it, to work my ass off and push the limits of what I can do. Then burn out, retire, and go surfing.

I want to figure out who I am. I've been lost in being a wife and mother and need to be something else as well.

Yes, my negativity, my giving up on myself. My feeling like everyone else has a plan, got the instruction manual, etc. Everything came a little too easily to me as a kid that's one of the basic problems, so I am always looking for ease rather than buckling down and persevering, even though I do in fact, buckle down and persevere.

I'll skip the usual "lose weight, exercise" shit I've been saying since I was 7. I want to be less afraid to move forward.

Every part...my physical fitness (more yoga!), my social life (more friends!), my ability to concentrate and focus on the things that really matter to me (see above...also writing, music, reading, being outside, etc).

I'm very proud of myself for taking the steps to help with my previously undiagnosed ADD. I went to a specialist who has worked wonders and I'm so relieved. In the upcoming year, I hope both my husband and I get up to date on our dental health which has declined in recent years. I also want to focus on our weight loss goals so that by the time we are living on the lake, we are healthier all the way around.

Yes, I would like to be more gentle and tolerant of other people - especially those who are very close to me. In general I am very open and accepting of people, but I tend to get very self-righteous when I am strongly confronted, feel that I have been mistreated/wronged or am sure I'm write about an important matter (otherwise I'm pretty good about rolling with the punches). It seems like a switch gets set off in me and I go into major fight mode. I would like to handle those situations with more grace, understanding and humor.

Michelle Walker, cardiff-by-the-sea

Yes. My ability to listen to compliments or critisisms without having an internal reaction that steers me away from really hearing, appreciating, learning from it, smiling at what is said, not being embarrassed by it, being grateful for honesty from another and not reacting detrimentally to it.

I would like to stop my indulgence of the herb, the musik, getting this dumb tattoo of my body. I know these will take much time but I must prevail! I want to start reading & exercising my body with my time, going to the gym, swimming, skiing, etc. I want to treat my family better & not get mad quickly all the time.

My weight. I really, really want to get serious about it, because something in my life has got to change. The saving money thing, yes, but I am going to die if I keep going the way I'm going. I need to exercise, I need to eat better.

I am a work in progress...no matter when. I simply want to continue to expand into my true self and experience more fully the true Divinity of myself and all of this world.

yes to be more honest with myself and not be afraid to reach out and do the things I want out of life. I do not want to end up regretting it I want to get more in touch with my emotional self and understand my deepest feelings and emotions I want to share the deepest emotional feelings with the woman whom I love more than anything in the world

john martin, vancouver

my self esteem as it relates to body image and my creative work. I want to be free of the oppressive self-doubt which I've been carrying for too too long. And I want that esteem to have as their locus my deepest core and not be generated or tied to external forces.

Sure. I am working on my bridge game, and I am setting standard as high as I can go. Life is a work in progress. I try to do the best I can with family, friends, and personal. Maybe personal needs work - read more, kindnesses, make the wheel work best as possible.

Looking inside. This is going to be a year of introspection.

Yes.I want to have a more positive attitude towards myself. I tend to doubt my abilities and worth as a human being. I want to be able to say to myself,I am somebody . At age 67 I have overcome much in my life time. I need to have a better self image.

Robert S, PA

My character. I want to be the best wife, mother, grandmother, boss and friend that I am capable of being. I would like to eliminate my need to gossip and my need to compulsively overeat. I would like to be as kind to myself as I am to others.

I have an unrealistic view of myself. I will forever be in my mind 13 years old and 90 lbs. I am a 30 year old woman with a beautiful child, a wonderful husband, and a lovely home, why does 15 pounds on the scale bother me so much??? If I could focus on the bigger issues and learn to be happy with the 30 year old version of me I think I'd be a happier person.

Yes, I am long over due to start being creative again. Doing the things I used to love doing i.e. going to art gallerys/ museums, making art, flea markets/ markets in general. Its just I don't like crowds so need to start putting my self out there again.

Elaine S. Renton

Who doesn't have a part of themselves they want to work on except the dead. Sure I do. I want to work on my sadness. I want to work on my patience and love for my husband. I want to work on my generosity not in terms of money, but in terms of heart. I want to work on acceptance. Of others. Of myself. I want to work on love.

Is there a part of me I DON'T want to work on? (said sarcastically). Physically - have about 65 lbs to lose to be in a healthy state (lost about 100 over the last 2 years ... so on my way!) Emotionally - being more honest with myself (thank goodness for good therapists) and working on healthy boundaries. Somehow, get "Zack" out of my system - stop my addiction to him. Intellectual - stop procrastinating on tasks that I don't feel confident about. It's self-defeating. Also, start studying for GRE's: apparently you need them to get a Doctorate.

i'm excited to see if i can stop my negative storytelling and spinning before it gets out of control

Claudia h, Mebane

It seems lately I've been going into many situations with certain expectations--be they dates, meetings, etc.--and if and when those expectations aren't met, I'm completely thrown. I guess I'd like to work on being more flexible and to stop expecting things to look like I thought they would.

Matty S. Los Angeles

Be more healthy. Be a better dad and husband.

Yes, of course! I think it's really important to look inside and be responsible for oneself and not always look outside and criticize and judge others(which I am quite guilty of). I want to practice more patience with my husband and not be that naggy Jewish wife I never wanted to be! I need to be more disciplined with myself which will help in all areas of my life! The larger, big vision is what I want to focus on. Keep asking the big questions...What am I trying to say and accomplish in my work/life? WHY? What are my goals? Short term and long term? My vision? What do I stand for/believe in most strongly? The more you force yourself to answer and define these things regularly the more conscious a life you live...which is my real goal. LIVE WITH INTENTION AND PURPOSE!! LIVE, LOVE, AND WORK HARD. LIVE AS HONESTLY AS POSSIBLE. STRIVE FOR PURITY IN MIND, BODY, AND SOUL. I need this so I can continue to tell important stories in my work that I believe in and share in the lives of the people I love.

My belly. It's too big.

i want to get rid of all the acne once and for all. also, i want to work on what has become a bit of a drinking problem. i'm already not drinking as much as i was (which was practically every single night), and i need that to continue.

Frankly, I'd like to work on my social life. I spend a great deal of time with family talking about family. I need to make friends that I can have inspiring conversations with and learn more about the world around me. In two years both my kids will be in pre-school. I'd hate to be to out of the loop that I don't know what to do with myself then.

penny rene, matawan

I want to eat less. I want to eat healty food. I want to exercise more regularly. I want to develop a routine spending time on the most important things in life. I want to do more good for the community. i want to be more socially involved. I want to spend less time by myself and more time with others. I want to develop real friendships and maintain them. I want to spend more time helping other people and less time satisfying my own base desires.

I want to be less concerned with what other people think of me. I want to make more time for myself to be by myself. I want to stop saying "yeah, I want to do that!" and not doing it. Instead, I want to be better about setting an intention and making choices to follow that intention. I also want to practice yoga more often.

Try not to be so reactive. Understand that in the end, it really IS all in my head.

I'd like to be more open with people, emotionally. I'd like to not allow the people around me to change who I am to please them. I want to learn to say "no" to people and not feel guilty about it and to not let people walk all over me. I want to stop being negative about things and to be more Zen about things when they don't go as planned. BE MORE SPONTANEOUS!

1. My weight.It needs to decrease. I'm afraid i'll get some sort of sickness 2. My intelligence to be more mature 3. My salary to increase 4. My relationship with my parents and family members to be more secure 5. I want my grandparents to be happy before they die

I want to be less of a bitch, ha! I feel myself (and I see it in J.R.'s face sometimes) becoming a strung-out, paranoid bitch. I want to be nice to everyone and be really easy going and not let stuff get me stressed out and weird. Work is work and I should be able to let things roll of my shoulder, but a lot of the time, I can't. I let it bother me. I want to be more laid-back and a roll-with-the-punches kind of girl, but at the same time, I know that sometimes--when I bitch out and demand things and won't settle--it's not a bad thing. Sometimes getting stressed and working through problems rather than letting them roll over me is a good thing. I guess what I'm saying is, I hope I can learn to pick my battles better. Also, I want to not be a nervous wreck like my mom.

Taryn Fiol, Atlanta

I want to be a less aggressive/defensive wife. I want to not get into so many stupid arguments with my husband.

Nicola hill, gainesville

Always. I think I need to focus on redirecting my anger and frustration. I tend to take things out on the people that I love. When I'm not happy, I make others unhappy, and I need to unlearn that habit. I'd also like to find a healthier relationship to myself. I want to be able to speak truthfully about who I am, what I look like, and how I feel in my skin. I think that, at age 23, I probably look the best I'm ever going to look, and I don't want to spend these years wishing that I look differently. The same goes for what I'm doing, what I have done, where I am, and where I am going. I want to revel in being me.

i have always been a very cynical person and i have trouble trusting people.. i would like to bring down my wall just a bit and give people the benefit of the doubt instead of always assuming the worst..

I want to believe in myself. I want to find balance in my life. I want to become less anxious. I want to better appreciate all the good in my life. I want to remember the good things.

I have this habit of taking things out on the wrong people. It isn't even anything that I am truly aware of or do on purpose but it happens just the same and unfortunately it always happens to be the people I am around the most and care about the most that get the brunt of this. I hope that over the next year I can become much more aware of it and that I can learn to express myself in the moment better.

I have spent large parts of my adult life trying to prove to myself, and to others, that I am fine on my own and do not need anyone. I feel I am ready to learn about the parts of me that--while still fine on my own--are made more rich by having deep vulnerable honest love in my life. I want to work towards loving all of myself, even the messy parts. I want to become more comfortable at receiving what others offer me because I know it honors the part of them that wants to give, and it is good for me to hear or feel their generosity. I want to be able to discern those things that I want solely for the sake of wanting them, and to begin moving towards these things without shame or apology. I want to believe for myself what I so fervently tell others: that there are many ways. I want to see the good parts of myself the way others see them. And, I want to be seen for who I am...which requires courage and strength to be vulnerable. I want to tell the truth.

I'd like to open myself up to all the possibilities of the world without feeling fear. I'd like to trust myself and my abilities more.

I want to be bolder! I want to speak to people and make friends, maybe even ind a boyfriend. I want to hold onto my temper with my family. I want to find a hobby besides reading and cooking.

Yes. Being more vulnerable. And, being closer to my family. And having a smaller ego so my relationships with men improve.

i need to sew again! if i make myself a space for it there will be no excuses. i miss crafting.

marissa williams, asheville

Would LOVE to be less self-critical!!! Why do we all beat ourselves up so much? (or at least I do). Great thing I heard this year from a friend: "Most people are so busy trying to make themselves successful and liked that they don't take the time to look around and realise that they ARE successful, and they ARE liked". Amen. Let's hope I can achieve it this year.

Is there any part of me I do not want to work on in 2010 would be a shorter answer. Order instead of chaos, neatness instead of messes, move more rather than sit more, reading more and emailing less,making a difference instead of feeling indifferent, worrying instead of feeling peaceful, feeling happy instead of seeing what represents unhappiness to me, viewing things in a positive space instead of guarding against things that could be negative and appreciating what there is and what I have instead of taking my life for granted and feeling empty.

I want to boost my motivation to take action rather than just talk about doing things. I will be 60 years old in two years, and for a lot of this time I have have talking and not doing. Before I hit 60, meaning the year 2010, I would like like to "have done" rather than "have talked some more".

I want to work on being on time and being on other people's watches besides my own. People are only charmed for so long about my cute 'I have my own internal clock' bit. I need to be more punctual and more respectable for others time.

My ass. Definitely, my ass. God, there are so many parts of myself that I want to work on. But in a year when I'm taking on what everyone tells me is the biggest change in my life (and that's a pretty credible claim), is it really a good idea to tackle more than, say, bothering to occasionally put on lip gloss (and reapplying it)? Am I setting myself up for failure if I say I want to work on the big things? Okay, so here's what I want: to learn to be a parent and to do it without losing my sense of self. And after that, if I have an extra smidgen of energy and can manage it, I'd like to get my ass back into my jeans by this time next year. (Yes, really -- I'm that shallow. At 18 weeks along pregnancy has kicked me out my jeans already and I see where this is going.) [Sigh] But if I have to choose, I choose learn to be a parent/maintain sense of self.

Drinking and smoking. I cant seem to quench my thirst (or boredom). It pains me because its not like im in denial. I know I drink more than I should. Not that anyone SHOULD, i just know i do it too often. So much that it affects my school work cuz I rather drink than do homework. Ugh..

rachel powell, pleasant hill

I would like to work on learning how to say NO and making sure I do not over extend myself. And, if I say YES to a commitment or responsibility that I am able to carry it out successfully!

Michele Schwartz, Texas

I've been saying this now for a while, but I need to work on my sarcasm. Too many people don't get it and I need to identify when it is appropriate and when it is not. Aside from that, I need to work on muscle mass and getting in better shape. Let's be honest - this is not okay. A little more Richard Simmons, maybe some yoga and some gym time. By not going, I'm cheating no one but myself.

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