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Q07

Is there a part of yourself that you want to work on in 2009?

I want to learn to be better at saying I'm sorry. I would like to take a deep breath before getting worked up or angry about things - things seem to affect me so deeply these days. I'd like to see them roll off my back a little bit more. I'd also love to be able to take care of myself and what I need and know is best for me and my family without feelings of guilt. And jealousy...I want to focus on what I have and what I want to change rather than worrying about what others have that I don't. Oh - and exercise. I want to really commit to 5 days a week of being active. Even if it's just a 30 minute walk - I want to take better care of my body.

I want to be able to be happy alone.

I'd like to lose some weight and be more in shape. I'd like to stop gossiping and talking about people (especially people that I am close to) behind their backs. I'd like to have a more posititive attitude on life. I'd like to be closer to my family.

 I'd like to work on being more confident and relaxed about things. I used to be quite uptight, but I have managed to relax quite a bit since then - however, I still tend to agonize over small, insignificant details and be nervous about my prospects when going for job interviews. My brother manages to be quite confident and relaxed in many situations, such as social events and job interviews, and I'd like to be like that.

Ok. If there is any part of me that the flaws keep shining through lately it is the fact that I can't take anything seriously. Perhaps to me this is not as big of a deal as it is to people around me, and maybe the only reason why I even believe this to be a character flaw is that my new girlfriend tells me so. I guess that it is kind of not all about her telling me that I can't be serious that gets to me, i realize it in day to day life all the time. Hell even when my parents are telling me i joke around to much it must be getting bad. And back to the whole girlfriend thing, I want her to know that i can be there for her intellectually, and i can sit down with her and just "talk", but it is definitely a part of my character to want to have as much fun with someone as i can for as long as i can. To sum it up, i need to work on being serious at least some of the time, but i can't let it change me. I always want to be that playful funny guy for her, and me.

I want to start getting my hand dirty again. Doing something to the house, building something, getting back into printmaking....something. I need to have that outlet and I have let it slip this year. I also want to not be so judgemental, it is really get out of hand.

Yes, i'd like to be less critical. I'd like to go with the flow more and be less critical of myself and others. i'd like to see myself as others see me. i'd like to be able to see my beauty and realize that it's not a competition. I'd like to feel my worth regardless of whether i am receiving positive feedback or not. i would like to feel my worth even if i am receiving negative feedback. i would like to really feel the words: a woman of worth, a woman of valor.

Healthy self image. There is so much that I don't like about myself, in both the looks and personality department. I don't like who I am. But I would like to have a better view of myself by this time in 2009.

My independence. I am already independent from the family, but I feel that I am to reliant on the people around me for approval or recognition of what I do. I need to be happy with what I do and choose do, with out having to get a figurative "pat on the head" from the people around me.

I would like to learn to open up to people more and be more trusting. Hopefully this means that I will have finally started a new relationship with someone by this time next year. Even if that isn't the case, I'd like to make sure that I open to up my friends. I feel like I need closer friends in my life and in order to do that, I need to learn to be more vulnerable - let people get to know me. I need to stop being afraid that people will be disappointed when they get to know the real me.

I know that in order to find the relationship I want that I must date. In the past I have taken rejection personally. While I rationally can reason with the rejection, in subtle ways I punish myself. I eat more, I stop exercising--and I see these as ways to comfort myself. But in the end, they are damaging to my ego--and make it even harder for me to put myself out there when I feel lazy or fat. So, instead of just feeling the disappointment or the depression, I end up getting mad at myself. Rationally I see the pattern, but I haven't yet been able to break the pattern emotionally. It's so hard. But I want to love myself more--and trust, that in time, someone will love me, too.

I need to work, specifically, on focus, following through, finishing things; and, more generally, on discipline, solidity, and making choices instead of saying yes to everything. I have enormous challenges facing me this year that affect no only me but my spouse and our long-term future. I can no longer afford to be constantly blown around by impulses, whims, anxieties, fears, outside forces but must locate and exert will to be an effective force in the world.

I want to spend more time living in the present. I want to work on managing my anxiety, giving myself self-care. I want to fortify my tolerance for people and begin to truly value each person I come in contact with for who they are and what positive attributes they exude and contribute.

I need to work on my mental attitude. I find it hard to stay positive at times. I also want to work on my socialization skills. I find myself feeling increasingly cut off from others. I am not good at making or maintaining friendships. I wish I were more comfortable in social situations. I was never that good at meeting new people, never really just hung out with large groups, but it seems I fall further and further behind in these situations as I get older

yes, my major personality flaws. lying, trying to be someone im not, lving in the future and not enjoying the moment. i want to learn to appreciate what i have better and live better. i want to develop healthier relationships with those around me, especially my family

I want to try everything. Let nothing intimidate me, and allow myself to grow because of it. Also; less promiscuity.

Confidence.

I want to be less sensitive, i get to emotional and think way to much about things, and i think i need to be less sensitive and allow people to get hurt, i can't cater to the world without catering to myself sometimes.

I want to become the person I've always dreamed of being. I'd like to calm down a little. especially privately. I think I'm annoying the shit out of Jonathan. I want to work on becoming a lady. High heels. Great hair. Kind and polite to every stranger I meet. An amazing friend to my besties. I want to host amazing parties and always have my style and my home look stylish and ready for anything.

I want to be totally up front in my relationships, and happy with where I am.

Yes, I would like to more honest with myself and those around me.

There are many parts of myself I want to work on, but if I had to pick one, it would be the part of me that has such a hard time with forgiveness, of myself and of others.

I hope to continue committing to memory the various memorisations from the Baha'i Writings that are recommended in the Ruhi Institute training materials, as well as adding to the various Shakespearean soliloquies I've already absorbed, and more of the Hidden Words of Baha'u'llah. So I've been actively working on memorisations in an effort to keep engaged with that aspect of mental activity, and hope to keep cramming to see how much is still recall-able in a year's time.

Concentração. Acabar com o medo de terminar, concluir.

Getting over my fears of everything. Being less prone to panic/stress/overanalyze. calming-down. enjoying my the place i'm at and the body i'm in.

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